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#something something a grasp for control
apoptoses · 1 year
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why is my response to extreme stress always to write medical kink in which daniel gets pushed to his limits
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puppetmaster13u · 11 months
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Prompt 63
Danny is honestly having fun. Sure his friends and him have gotten thrown into this world with a bunch of monsters and giant creatures, but it’s fun! He’s going to make friends with all of them- even if they do try to eat him in human form most of the time. They all seem pretty confused by them when they smell like ecto though, which uh, wow wasn’t how they wanted to learn the whole class has become liminal. Oh well, it’s just them and Mr Lancer on an entire island to themselves! And he can’t be the only one to want to pet and befriend a dragon, like, c’mon! It’s a dragon! And Star is already eyeing a giant lightning unicorn so he definitely isn’t the only one down to go feral! Hey, at least there’s no GIW here or ghost attacks, and seeing as he doesn’t know how to make portals like Wulf, it’ll take a while to make a ghost portal to the zone. So feral island children it is! 
Bonus DCxDP crossover is if a hero of group of heroes also get thrown into the world onto the island. To them it’s almost like a peter pan situation only the children have a single adult whose given up on controlling the chaos. Oh yeah, they also all have powers and ride giant mythical beasts. Did they mention none of the group trusts any of them either? Yeaaah, this is going to be a long trip home…
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So Tails is Tails because the exact number of them essentially doesn't mater. There's more than one though, and it's his most notable first glance characteristic, hence the name, but now that's all there is to it. It's not a big deal anymore but it stuck so no problem
While Nine is all that he's ever been. Strictly defined by his oddity and the number of his tails that he than added with his own hands to solidify that fact, it's a defining aspect a rigid definer of his identity the first thing you notice and the last thing you'll see if you dare point it out
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rozecrest · 9 months
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this palpable vibe shift in post-miracle twilight mirage is so fitting and interesting to me. a shift from clinging on to the dreaminess of the fleet to being forced to grappling with a grittier reality. from a strictly separated two parties to a united group that also continually fractures and splinters and is positioned for new types of conversation and conflict. like the quire system! even mechanically, from where emotions spiking are the framework for moves to where stress is currency. it’s really cool!
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franeridan · 23 days
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thinking again about how in trigun 98 they had nick kill someone with the face of a child posing as an orphan for vash, and how in tristamp they had him kill a child in the body of a monster who had no choice in what had been done to him, and how instead in trimax nick for vash kills a man who'd approached vash for a death match, who'd demanded to either kill or be killed, a man nick had given vash a fair chance to fight and win against and who nick would have left alone hadn't said man attacked vash when his back was turned after the duel was over and done with, a man who'd been one step from possibly seriously harming vash hadn't nick stepped in. and about how after in all three versions vash yells at nick for it, but only in trimax nick tells vash that he's lucky he's there to play the devil for him so that he can stay a saint, and only in trimax in the arc right after vash ends up thanking nick for killing for him and protecting his home when vash couldn't because of his own morals, and only in trimax in the end when nick isn't there to play the bad guy for vash he ends up being right, and vash ends up having to dirty his hands himself to protect what he loves - while both in 98 and for now tristamp vash stays a saint until the end, and that fight they have ends in itself, and the only lesson it leaves you as a viewer is that nick is jaded enough to kill a child
#this is in the same category in my brain as 98 and tristamp making vash the nice kid between he and knives#while in trimax knives was the nice hopeful naive kid and vash was the guarded and skeptical one#and also the same as vash in 98 never losing control of himself and in tristamp only losing control#when knives literally brainwashes him into becoming a husk of himself#while in trimax vash loses control of his own negative emotions all on and by himself and That's#what puts meryl and nick and milly in danger#not someone else's actions but /vash's/#and to me that's like#yeah maybe 98 came out before trimax was over so the authors didn't have a full grasp on vash as a character#and maybe it's true that the tristamp writers love the story their own way honestly and genuinely#but the way both anime make vash so objectively Good™️ and everyone else just too jaded#to see how he's right and being Good™️ is the only way to move forward#like...#I'm sorry#that's the opposite of what i thought nightow was saying when i first read trimax#the world isn't black and white and some choices are unavoidable but that doesn't make them any less bad#and people aren't perfect but that doesn't make them any less able to be good#and all that#yk#?#the way the anime always make meryl so unwaveringly strong and corageous too when in trimax#she's actually so scared#reasonably!!#same with nick too all his fear of knives and conflicting feelings about vash all gone always...#then again when you make vash to perfect what's there to be scared or conflicted about?#it's something I always come back to ESPECIALLY the nick killing for vash moment#the manga makes it so hard to decide who's right#and in the end it takes you by the shoulders and shakes you and tells you nick!!! nick was right!!!!#while in the anime nicks kills /a child/ so of course you're brought to assume vash was right#i dunno it's just so flat to me
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ghostintransit · 2 years
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momonokopan · 1 year
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5/5/2023
now that i think of it i always draw young hijikata for his birthday
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robotsafari · 3 months
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a mind palace’s (unasked for) renovations [DO NOT TAG AS SHIP]
bonus under the cut:
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white mushroom more like “butlershroom.”
anyway. yep! my headcanon is that the mushroom series of heartless were essentially like early versions of ansem. experiments to see if creating a heartless with a will of its own were even possible. (the mushrooms just wanna play charades and go on nice walks! they wont steal your heart because their instincts tell em’ to! they’ll only snatch it if they feel like it <3) how can you make an “immortal” successor if they cant even understand the research you left for them? so thats why they were created!
#beep boop you want fries with that#kingdom hearts#re:kh#ansem#riku#ansem you cant slutspread infront of the children …#<- in his defense he wasn’t expecting riku to walk in#i feel like ansem craves attention but also wants to be left alone but also wants someone to talk to but also#he loves to ponder about his own existentialism but as soon as hes asked about it he changes the subject#hes been alone for so long and was never allowed to make friends with anyone that he doesn’t understand friendship#perhaps riku will be the one to show him#in short. yes ansem will be getting a redemption arc of sorts. but hes going to be really annoying about it.#his arrogance was his downfall and he loves being an annoying little shit <3#love youuuu 🥰🥰🥰#ansem infodumping but it’s about human experimentation and not a novel series from the hollow bastion library#is a thought thats really funny to me.#also if youre confused about ansem still being in rikus heart. in my rewrite he doesnt ‘die’ in kh2#the blast of light only causes ansem to go dormant until in my dream drop rewrite#‘something’ happens (im not telling) that causes him to reawaken and he attempts to take control again. which ends poorly for ansem#(riku defeats him again)#riku wont get rid of ansem. because he is tied to riku’s darkness. riku claims ansem is going to have to live with this. and that hes#already accepted this fact. ansem just needs to do the same.#so ansem begrudgingly resigns to his fate. but this isnt enough for riku. he wants to do something he never thought he would ever do#maybe his friends are rubbing off on him but. riku wants to see if maybe….. they could be friends? perhaps? this isnt going to work …#.. is it?#you’re grasping for straws here boy. give it up.
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singswan-springswan · 5 months
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concrete median
but grass grows there anyway
I'm here! I will live.
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seyaryminamoto · 4 months
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Sheesh! Azulon is such a spoiled brat, huh? 🤣
... Yes. He is.
Ngl, I rewatched LOTR's trilogy over the past three days and I was surprised by something in it that I immediately connected to Azulon. I've never seen anyone else draw this parallel with LOTR, instead I only ever see people in the fandom constantly comparing Azulon, intentionally or not, with Tywin Lannister.
... as far as I'm concerned, Azulon is Denethor. Full stop.
Even if you want to think the guy loved his firstborn? He was a twisted, pissy asshole who wanted to cling to power at all costs, that above all else, and his "beloved" son was his best means to achieve that. Hell, I'd argue Azulon wouldn't even be likely to have the "last minute awakening" that Denethor did regarding Faramir... but Denethor's behavior over Boromir is 100% the same as Azulon's over Iroh. "Oh, my perfect, glorious, wonderful son who can get everything right, and whose useless brother can't ever measure up to! I'm going to idealize you and give you all the privileges and glorious missions and pretend you could've achieved anything, while he was worth less than the dirt under your feet!"
So, yes, the way I write Azulon is so much closer to Denethor, specifically in terms of how he treats his family, than to Tywin Lannister and all the fandom's attempts to rationalize and justify his treatment of Ozai, all be it because "baby killed my wife". Worth noting? There's no solid evidence of that: Ilah is as good as a non-character, nobody knows what kind of relationship he had with her, Azulon very well could have used her as a brooding mare and nothing more, for all we know... but along with this? A bastard of Azulon's caliber, who helmed the Fire Nation's war for THE LONGEST PERIOD out of all three canon Fire Lords, does not need any greater excuses to treat his second-born like trash, much like Denethor didn't. :')
Of course, I take Azulon a bit further than most people by depicting his insecurities over his newborn granddaughter... I think there's no logical explanation for him to overlook Azula and be as unaffected by her as he's shown to be in Zuko Alone's flashback. She's a prodigy, she should be a useful weapon for him, at the very least...! And he's completely unconcerned with her. He actually shows more reaction to Zuko than he does to Azula. Hmm. Makes ya wonder, huh? :')
So yeah, I think there are many layers to how twisted Azulon is. Dude really took things to a whole other level of BS and kept doing it until the very end. Fandom can call me crazy as much as it cares to, but I don't think any grandfather who demands for the death of his grandson as a punishment for his second son's impertinence should EVER be given the "benefit of the doubt", or granted any excuses for this behavior just because Ozai was a shitty human being. Ozai sure was one: and he learned exactly how to be that way from daddy dearest himself :')
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youngpettyqueen · 1 year
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thinking about how Nina/Maggie and Crowley/Aziraphale were set up to parallel each other and how it was flipped in the end with that confession and fallout
#good omens#good omens spoilers#like its set up soooooooo perfectly and Nina even lays it out for Crowley#the jaded one who feels they cant trust anyone cause they've been hurt (Nina/Crowley)#and the one who's reaching out a hand head over heels in love (Maggie/Aziraphale)#but then you get to the confession/fallout and you realize its not Crowley who isnt ready for this its Aziraphale#and its Aziraphale who's still in a toxic relationship- his being with Heaven#and to an extent here you can draw the parallel between Aziraphale and Lindsey- Nina's ex#in how he wants to bring Crowley back to Heaven and have him restored as an angel#Aziraphale's intentions are far better than Lindsey's of course its not that clear cut#Aziraphale views Crowley's demonic nature as something to be fixed because being a fallen angel being a demon is a punishment#and he wants to see Crowley forgiven he FORGIVES Crowley#he thinks he wants this for Crowley's own good#he doesnt see that he wants it for himself without consideration for how Crowley feels#and this isnt a surprise Aziraphale has always shown some controlling behaviours#changing what he wants to change#he changes the Bentley he changes Crowley's music he constantly pushes for Crowley to show his 'good' side#he's pushy with his ideals (on everyone not just Crowley)#Crowley on the other hand only wants to get Aziraphale out of Heaven's grasp because he sees how toxic it is#he doesnt want to change anything about Aziraphale he just wants to free him#Crowley loves Aziraphale for everything that he is flaws and all#and Aziraphale loves Crowley despite what he perceives as flaws#its the failed proposal from Pride & Prejudice- which I think has to be deliberate#this is a fight they really did need to have and im glad they did#like obviously im devastated but im also very happy with the writing choices
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Seriously, I do think Bells Hells having an overnight in Nicodranas, doing absolutely nothing of note in a beautiful seaside town after all these stressful recent events would do them a lot of good.
Yes, really, any town would do, going back to Yios would do it, but I'm saying Nicodranas specifically since Caleb and Beau are here, so it seems actually possible to end up there.
A lot of it is self-indulgence, but I do really think the party would benefit from taking a break in a seaside city nicknamed the Escape, a place where Bells Hells doesn't appear to have any shadows lurking over them there. Just fooling around and maybe some conversation.
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astranauticus · 8 months
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ok i like rushed through the whole orv webtoon way too fast so now i have thoughts going in like 5 different directions but ep121-123 drive me so fucking insane actually. every time i think about those two conversations i have to sit down
#orv#orv liveblog#like i feel like depictions of childhood abuse in fiction tend to depiction the relationship as some version of#'the one evil violent parent and the one good parent trying their best (it wasnt good enough)'#see: the twins parents from lc s2 is the obvious one but also like#going back to my roots lol but enji and rei todoroki? or hell even fire lord ozai and ursa#yknow theres this idea of like theres the one who was trying! and the one who fucked it all up#well yeah rei's the one who scarred her sons face but thats so obviously framed as like a trauma response outside of her control#like its not something youre reeaally meant to blame her for yknow#the WHOLE idea with kim dokja's conversation with yoo sangah is whether he's supposed to blame/forgive lee sookyung#wait ok those conversations drive me so insane like im feeling the alevel literature urge to fuckin close read quotes#that one line where he thinks like this is the vilest form of violence he can use against sangah goes by SO fast but it hit me SO hard#the idea of asking her to put herself in this nightmare situation she has no frame of reference for understanding or empathising with#and then asking her as someone who she rly cares about! to be the judge in this situation she cannot possibly fully grasp#and all of that being framed as an act of violence towards her. like asking her to do this knowing she cant possibly do it#but also 'did you want me to seem pleased to see you' 'a little (lie)' and 'do you think of me as a mother' 'a little (lie)'#like the pretense of a normal relationship over the yeah we know our relationships fucked over the#unfortunately we still talk and think in the same way and we understand each other way too well#ok wait but circling back to the original point. i saw this fucking incredible fanart on twitter that sort of goes into the like#how do you?? handle?? not knowing if youre supposed to blame your parent for something that they did that hurt you#like its this little animation thing thats all in kdj's internal monologue except for one line where its him saying#'im terrible. i deserved what she did to me'#and its like. yeah that would be easier huh. like the self loathing is easier to handle than the confusion and cognitive dissonance#full disclosure i saw that fanart literally a year ago before i knew jack shit about orv and the sentiment hit me SO HARD i just#havent been able to stop thinking about it for a whole year. like as soon as i finished 123 i immediately went to look for it in my archive#i checked the artist has a tumblr but that art is not on it and it bugs me so much i want them to know that they somehow like#managed to make art so painful it defeated both my non-orv reading self and my lifelong severe memory problems#i mean in comparison that line (that also went by alarmingly fast) about how without twsa back then like kdj would not be here today#like not so much to dig into just. Yikes#and him telling ysa all of this with that fucking smile on his face like thats the part that really gets to me just his *fucking expression
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spiderwarden · 11 months
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Thinking about Minthara healing from the psychological damage that happened at Moonrise Towers.
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bottom-slut-unionizer · 3 months
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I think "you are also that which others do not see" is a very important motto to have in the age of social media n people being able to advertise the best aspects of themselves while hiding the worst.
Just cuz others see the good doesn't make up for the bad parts. That's just pure vanity at that point. But at the same time, the things you keep for yourself, the joys you alone get to experience, those too are part of you.
Everyone has a thousand things to love within them and ten thousand things to hate that never sees the light of say. Why would we rather live acting like the moment something bad is visible it ruins everything else? Can't we live knowing that we're all a bunch of animals trying to survive, and the fact that we can find something to love at all is truly amazing?
#no?#bc it wont make a profit for the beauty wellness n “health” industries?#okay :-(#i also think a big reason we grasp onto each bad thing#is bc we're trying to see what that bad thing says about the person#“if they're so sick theyd be like that in public imagine what theyre hiding”#but thinking like this is a symptom of the problem#we get uncomfortable at the sight of abnormality n think theres a reason for everyone to be this way#we like to think the person speaking calmly down to the person sobbing is the one who's better#but just as much as it could be someone whos calmly reassuring a friend#someone who could be asking someone who suffered first hand at something to defend why that shouldnt happen#just cuz it looks better doesnt make it better. just cuz its emotional and raw doesnt make it wrong#my point isnt to say all discomfort with emotion is a bad thing#In fact its the opposite. we have to be aware of those things. but we cant trust our discomfort anymore#we are uncomfortable from yelling because we fear of what the knife in his hand could do#my point is that bc society has focused on what the yelling “might mean”#we can't hear a grown man yelling about how he fucking loves ice cream without thinking about a knife#and people who intend reap harm know this and take advantage of this. they use the calmness to take control of the dynamic#to abuse the social pressure to get their way without being viewed negatively#and can demand that those suffering jump through more n more hoops to prove the goodness they have in them#i just think we need to stop demanding people prove they're deserving of love n kindness. n start asking why people are demanding they do
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hauntedwoman · 1 year
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genuinely convinced i will never receive romantic love in my lifetime
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