#something something don’t blame yourself I probably wouldn’t reblog my art either and it’s my fault for being so. idk. much of a freak

[higgs-the-god]

Hnng

[hazelnut-u-out]

Hi! Me again! So, why exactly do you like Rick? Im not insulting you at all! He's my absolute favorite character, but it's kinda hard to believe you love him when looking at some of your posts, not that I blame you though because I'm the same way! I love him because of his character development, he's funny, interesting and fun to watch and he's super complex ! Sorry for the kinda long ask! Love your posts!

To be honest, I have a hard time finding sympathy for Rick. A lot of abusive people tend to cite their own trauma as excuses rather than reasons and, while I wouldn’t argue that Rick himself explicitly does so, I do think he sometimes views his own experiences through that lens. That can make it a lot more difficult for me to find him sympathetic. I have a lot of empathy for Rick— as in, I can feel his pain, anger, frustration, etc. At the same time, I have a hard time understanding how that makes his actions in the present (specifically in his relationship with Morty) acceptable. I cannot separate Rick from his actions because, to reference Bojack Horseman, people are what they do, intentions be damned.

I mentioned this somewhere a while back (I think in the tags of a post I reblogged), but I think you can have genuine personal criticisms of a character and still love that character. In fact, I would go as far as to say that my issues with Rick are what make me love him, because a character’s flaws are part of what their character represents in context.

I love Rick because he’s given me something to root for. Morty deserves a good grandpa. So does Summer. Beth, who also isn’t immune to my criticism, deserves a good dad. From Season 1, you can see the good in him just begging to peek out from behind the facade, trauma, and bullshit. Furthermore, in context, he shows us that taking accountability might not always mean you’re entitled to forgiveness, but that a lack of forgiveness doesn’t mean trying and moving forward is pointless, as well.

None of us are perfect, and Rick isn’t either. Like you said, he’s complex, funny, dynamic, etc. People are not without nuance. None of us are, whether we like it or not. No one is entirely good or entirely bad. We’re all mixed bags of trail mix. We’ve all got our raisins. (Unless you like raisins. Then my joke doesn’t land.) The point of working on yourself isn’t to be perfect, or even to be forgiven. It’s just to work on yourself— to try; to fail; to keep trying.

I don’t think I’d like Rick as a person if I met him in real life, to be honest with you, but I love him as a piece of art. That’s what I think characters are! Art can be grotesque, appalling, fucked up, and offensive, especially when there’s a message behind that.

Characters can’t exist in a vacuum. I mean, would we even be interested in a show where Rick realized he was an asshole in the pilot and was The Perfect Family Man for 10 seasons without anything challenging that? Probably not.

Also, he’s just a silly guy, and I like ‘em silly.

[azaleavi]

Memorable

Summary: the cast of Avengers: Endgame is asked to tell the most memorable thing that happened in all 10 years of filming and they all have the same thing in mind

Word count: 1.4k

Warning(s): knives, stabbing, blood (If you are not comfortable with any of this DO NOT READ)

Author's note: Why did i write this? I don't know. I just had this idea and I thought it was cool so I wrote it down. It’s not really a sebastian x reader even though i started writing it like that. I honestly don’t know what this is but here you go I guess lmao

Feedback is always appreciated and don't forget to reblog and like if you liked it and want to see more. Thank you!

Masterlist

"As we are at the end of a very long era, that was full of exciting events, what was the most memorable thing that happened on set? Out of all the movies" Jimmy asked the six of you, who were sitting on the couch. Your mind immediately went to one specific incident, that happened to you and it seems like all of your co-stars thought about the same thing as they all turned to you. You couldn't help the smile that formed on your face. "It seems like everyone has the same thing on their mind" the host pointed out, smiling.

"Yes, it looks like that" you spoke up.

"Y/N, could you tell us what it is?" he asked.

"I guess it's that one time I got a little hurt while filming Civil War." you let out a little laugh, knowing what the response would be.

"A little hurt?!" Robert almost shouted. "This girl here got stabbed with a real knife and wanted to finish her scene with the knife still in her side and she almost did if it wasn't for the other person freaking out" Jimmy's mouth hung open at that. Everyone knew you got hurt while filming, because production had to be stopped and it was all the news talked about for a few days, but no one knew the details.

"Okay. It wasn't that dramatic" you defended yourself. Robert had the tendency to oversell the scene." I just knew that I will be out of commission for a while after that so I knew I had to finish the scene." you shrugged.

"Okay, I think we need to hear the whole story" the audience screamed at Jimmy's words. You laughed at that.

"So this is how it went..."

-

It was one of the first days of working and you were filming the big fight scene at the airport. You were surrounded with huge green screens. Your character had a one on one fight with the Black Widow so you were getting ready for it. You almost always did your own stunts and this one wasn't an exception. It wasn't that hard either, just a couple of punches and it ended with Natasha stabbing your character. It wouldn't be fatal, but it would defenitely hurt enough to slow your character down for a while. You were streching as Scarlett's stunt double walked over to you. The others weren't in the shot so they just stood to the side. They always liked watching you in action because you were the sweetest person in real life but once you heard action it was like you were a completely different person. It was fascinating. And watching you do stunts was a spectacle in itself. You have been learning martial arts since you were a kid so it came easy for you.

"Get ready everyone, we start in a minute!" the director shouted. You smiled at Heidi, streching your neck.

"You ready to get your ass kicked?" she joked. It was always a pleasure to work with her.

"By you? Always" you said, getting into position.

"Ready?" the director shouted again, looking at you two. You both nodded" Okay. And... Action!" You immediately started thowing punches at her, following the precise choreography you learned. She blocked them well, but you still managed to land a few on her. At least that what it looked like to the camera. You slowly got closer to where the crew was standing, still fighting as hard as you could. Your enemy pulled out a knife from her belt and you jumped back as she tried to slice you. She missed a few more times and you turned so her back was to the camera, while you faced it. It was almost over, she just had to thrust the fake knife into your side and you had to act like it hurt. She lunged forward with the knife in her hand and stabbed you. You thought it would be hard to act like you just got stabbed, but it turnes out you didn't have to act at all. It hurt like hell. Why was it hurting so much? It shouldn't hurt this much. What was happening? The knife was a prop so the blade went inside the handle, but it didn't feel like that happened. Your eyes widened and your mouth opened in a silent scream. You backed away from Heidi and looked down. The knife was lodged in place and you felt something warm starting to trickle down your side. You heard a gasp from in front of you. You looked up only to see Heidi with her hands against her mouth, her eyes wide with fear. She turned around to the crew who had still no idea what was happening.

"Call an ambulance" the panic in her voice was enough to alert everyone. You put your hands on the knife, which, you finally realized, was a real one, and it was currently inside you to the hilt. You heard frantic speaking, but the words didn't register in your mind. It must be Heidi telling them what happened. Your eyes were stuck on the handle, you were unable to look away. You waited for the panic to set in, but it never came. Two legs appeared in front of you and hands touched your shoulders. You finally looked up, your vision a little blurry. Sebastian was standing in front of you, fear and panic clear in his eyes.

"Hey y/n, can you hear me? The ambulance is on it's way, they will be here any minute. You just need to hold out for a little longer, okay baby?" you didn't know if he was trying to calm you or himself down. You tried to smile at him, but it came out more like a grimace. In the frenzy of the situation neither of you realized he called you baby.

"Did the shot turn out okay? They can use it right?" you spoke and Sebastian just looked at you with wide eyes. How can you still worry about the movie right now?

"Yes it was fine, they can use it." in truth he didn't know anything about the shot, but he just wanted to keep you calm. One of the crew members brought a chair for you, but you didn't know if it was a good idea to sit down or even move from where you were standing. How your legs didn't give out yet, you didn't know, but you were glad you didn't collapse so far. You decided against sitting down. It was probably not good to move around. You grabbed Sebastian's hands and squeezed them. Him being there was giving you so much strength. Something you would tell him later, when he was sitting next to your bed while you were recovering.

In the distance you could hear the sirens of the promised ambulance. Finally. You didn't know how much longer you could keep standing.

The car stopped next to you and two paramedics jumped out to assess your situation. They brought out the bed and carefully laid you on top of it.

You had to get stiches in the hospital and you resumed filming a few weeks later when you could move around without the sharp pain in your body.

-

"So needless to say i couldn't do any stunts for a good while" you tried to lift the mood, that settled in the studio, with a joke. Sebastian, who was sitting beside you, snorted.

"Of course you couldn't. And I wouldn't let you either." he said.

"I think my stunt double is scarred for life because of that" you all laughed at Scarlett's comment. You talked it out with Heidi and you made sure she knew that you weren't blaming her. It turned out that the fake and real knives were mixed up and no one knew how it happened. There was an investigation, because it was way too dangerous for it to happen again and they put new safety measures in place. Nothing like that happened ever since.

"Everyone was panicking so much. I think I was the calmest person there and I was the one with a knife in my side" everyone laughed at that.

"I understand now why this is the most memorable thing that happened to you" Jimmy spoke.

"Yes we all have that memory engraved in our minds now" Chris added.

"And I have a cool scar from it too" you laughed.

[manggojooz]

Pick A Side (Part 9)

pairing: Taehyung x reader

word count: 2,130

genre: university!au; angst; romance; a bit a bit of thriller

warnings: slight references to voyeuristic behaviour

previous part: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8

taglist: @destiel1597 @mila271 @hopetookmysoul @ximaginx @honeyursosweet @coffeecupyoongs @bangtanbaesstuff @annoyingpessimist @betysotelo18 @okaysoplshelpme @igot7bangs @tahaing @lowkey-kpopstan 

comment: it has been a while, i feel a little rusty =/ but if you enjoyed this, i will be veryyy happy if you could help me by reblogging it or leaving a comment <3 

Two girls were sitting on a bench under a barren tree when you walked past them. “That’s her, that’s her...”, one of them whispered to the other. You sauntered on soullessly, as if there were invisible shackles affixed to your ankles. The howling wind reminded you that you have yet to experience the coldest.  

Self-doubt, self-blame, self-victimisation; you wanted to put all that down. This time round, you were certainly neither the perpetrator nor the victim, but it was still arduous for you to stagger down the walkways towards the main cluster of university building.  

You stopped at the doorsteps of the student office, dreading the fact that you were about to enter alone.  

When you had opened your eyes that morning, it didn’t feel this lonesome. There was a recognisable sound palpitating in your ears. Maybe you still wouldn’t recognise his handwriting, maybe you still wouldn’t recognise his scent or his warmth, but from now on you were sure you would recognise his heartbeat, because it reminded you of this safety, no matter how fleeting.  

“Where are you going?”, Taehyung asked after you got up, preparing yourself to head out.  

“To the student office... I just want to see if they found anything new and to clarify that I’m not the one they are looking for. I realised I didn’t really make it clear the last time”, you spoke in a soft voice.  

“Good thing I don’t have classes this morning”, he yawned while stretching his back and legs. You walked over to where his coat hung at the window.  

“You don’t have to come with me”, you replied, taking his coat off the hanger, it was mostly dry by now.  

“Why? I’ve got time anyway, let’s go together”, he pouted slightly.  

You held out his coat, “Thanks for everything last night. At least now I feel like I shouldn’t doubt or victimise myself. This time I did nothing wrong, and I can’t be the one cowering here. Whether Jihyun believes me or not, I have to make things clear.”

“Yeah ok, so let’s go toge-”, he stood up while insisting.  

“I can do it myself”, you cut him off short, “I have to... you won’t always be here.”

He reached out to take the coat from your hand. You hadn’t let go, and he doesn’t pull it over. “I can if you want me to”, he whispered, words shaky.  

Facing the glass door outside the student office by yourself, you regretted sending Taehyung away with the excuse that he needed to get himself ready for class later. You thought the misunderstanding was only with Jihyun. What you didn’t know was how the entire world seems to have taken the side that perpetuates you as the culprit.  

This feeling was all too familiar.  

The automatic glass door suddenly glides open and you see two pairs of shoes walk out. Jihyun looked at you inscrutably, but you frowned in perplexion at the person next to her.  

“Y/N”, he did not look the least bit startled, “are you here to see Ms. Helen too?”, Haejoong enquires in his gentle tone as usual.  

You decided to put your bewilderment aside for the moment and took a step towards Jihyun. She uncontrollably stumbles an inch backward, Haejoong immediately side stepping an inch so that Jihyun was half-hidden behind him.  

You stared up at him wide-eyed, wondering what on earth he was trying to do but he only gives you a look of assurance and concern as though telling you that he is doing this for your own good. He shook his head slightly as though advising you not to approach Jihyun right now.  

“It’s not me”, you whispered with conviction at Jihyun. You felt like she didn’t think it was you either from the way she looked unwaveringly into your eyes. But then you became unsure when she suddenly tugged at Haejoong’s arms to indicate that she wanted to leave and he naturally escorted her away.  

---

You walked into class later than usual that day. Taehyung was already there and he perked up when he saw you. Instead of going up to him, you chose to sit at the furthest corner of the classroom again. Taehyung picks up his bag and marches over to you, ignoring all the stares he was getting, and he plants himself down next to you.  

You glared at him, hoping he would realise that you would much rather not garner such attention thanks to him but the moment was cut short when Taehyung suddenly gawked towards the door. You looked over too and saw Haejoong walking in with Jihyun following close to him, Haejoong side-eyes the rest of the class who were murmuring as they entered and whispered something to Jihyun before bringing her to sit down near the door.  

You felt the stares starting to converge onto you instead, and you scanned the classroom, many of your classmates averting your eyes immediately when you looked at them. The feeling was suffocating you again. Is this some kind of déjà vu? When the class ended, you promptly dashed out of the classroom as fast as lightening. Taehyung tried to chase after you but he lost you somewhere in the crowded corridor.  

You had barely made it out the building when you got a message from Jihyun, “Do you have time? Can we meet in the painting room for a short while?”  

---

“Hey...”, you murmured as you entered the room where Jihyun sat alone amongst the canvases and easels.  

“Hey”, Jihyun watches you walk up to her.  

“I umm...”, you tried to start the conversation but she took it from you.  

“I know it’s not you... but it’s difficult not to listen to anything.”  

It startles you that despite all that had happened to her, she was trying her best not to jump to the wrong conclusions about you. There must have been a reason why Taehyung was friends with her for so long after all.  

“I’m sorry you are going through such a thing”, you stammered as you struggled to find a response.  

“It’s not your fault... and you were right about one thing”, she looked down at her tightly-clasped hands and you could tell she was nervous.  

You faced her with puzzled eyes as she continued to speak.  

“Remember when we were fighting over that school bullying video? I thought I was doing the right thing by sharing it. But you asked me what if this wasn’t what the victim wanted? At that time, I thought you were just picking a fight with me, because whatever I did, you didn't like it. Now I know it was me, I was the one picking the fight with you. Whatever you said to me, I didn’t like it.”

“Jihyun, you-”, you tried to interject but couldn’t.  

“Y/N, you were right. The victim doesn’t want awareness, or for more people to help, sometimes the victim just wants to be left alone, and for everything to blow over, quickly, quietly...”, her sorrow and helplessness were increasingly decipherable.  

“I’m sure they will catch the culprit soon, don't listen to the things that other people say, we did nothing wrong, we...”, you tried to comfort her.

She lets out a deep sigh, “You must feel so disgruntled right now, since everyone keeps spreading the same rumours. Just now after the lesson I overheard a group of classmates talking about it too... and so I told them I don’t think it was you, and guess what they asked me?”  

You had no answer to her question.  

“They asked me... if it wasn’t you, why is Haejoong sticking by my side, taking care of me instead of you?”, she scoffed.  

This was the same question you had as well. And now you realise why the feeling is all so familiar – because someone who had always been by your side suddenly isn’t, and so the world again assumed that you were at fault after all.  

---

Taehyung was controlling his urge to confront Haejoong, so he devolves instead into glaring intently at Haejoong, who was standing at the vending machine in the school cafeteria.

“What are you sulking about now? Although if I were you, I'd probably be sulking too...”, Yoongi comes up to the seated Taehyung with two cups of coffee.  

“Nothing...”, Taehyung’s eyes were still glued to that annoying back view, not thinking that Yoongi will understand his dilemma.  

“What are the chances Kim Taehyung, that both your ex-es are involved in a situation like this. You must feel like you are in no position to do anything for any of them, right?”, Yoongi slides one of the drinks in between Taehyung’s hands.  

“How did you know that?!”, Taehyung exclaims.  

“Pfft, I may not look like I care very much but I know what’s going on around here, alright?”, Yoongi sits down across from Taehyung, unintentionally blocking his view of his nemesis.  

“As if it isn’t already frustrating enough that I can’t do anything, now I even have to watch him do this to her...”, Taehyung mutters without parting his teeth.  

“Who’s him?”, Yoongi turns around to glance towards the direction Taehyung was death-glaring at and spots Haejoong walking away.  

“Oh him...”, Yoongi sniggers, “He’s had a crush on her for a long time anyway, he took your pure arts class even though he’s a senior film-making major just to be in the same class as her-”

“If he likes her so much, shouldn’t he be better to her?”, Taehyung spoke agitatedly, not allowing Yoongi to finish his sentence.  

“What more do you want him to do?”, Yoongi asks nonchalantly.  

“What more? What is he even doing now? How can he just leave her in the ditch by herself in a time like this?”, Taehyung was visibly getting more worked up.  

“Huh? Wait wait wait... who are you talking about?”, Yoongi senses that there was a disparity in their conversation.  

“Im Haejoong!”, Taehyung exclaims.  

“Yeah I know that! I mean who is the ‘her’ you are talking about?!”, Yoongi grew a little impatient too, leaning forward to smack Taehyung’s forehead.  

“Y/N, of course”, Taehyung answered, feeling a pinch in his chest.  

“What? No... no no”, Yoongi was taken aback, “Haejoong doesn’t like Y/N...”

“What do you mean he doesn’t like Y/N? Haven't you seen the way he clings to her? Wait... then who is the ‘her’ you are talking about?”, Taehyung frowned.

“Jihyun, Kim Jihyun.”

---

Taehyung dashes out of the cafeteria, looking around frantically trying to find Haejoong but he was nowhere to be seen.  

“It's a well-known fact amongst the film-making seniors that Haejoong has liked Jihyun way before you even dated her. Did you not know that?”, Yoongi’s question must have been rhetorical.  

Taehyung feels like he desperately needs to do something. Should he call you, but what can he ask you? Should he call Jihyun, but what can he tell her? He doesn’t have anything to prove it, but in his heart he feels it – something just doesn’t feel right.  

---

Winter nights always crept up too hastily. The sunset filtered through the windows drawing out your shadow and hers too.  

“Y/N, I know I've been really selfish but it is really difficult for me now. Every time someone looks at me, I would flinch, and I keep feeling like they are all talking about me, and staring at me like I’m some-”, Jihyun’s voice began to break and it echoed in the empty painting room.  

“Jihyun, you are not what they say you are. You are just the victim in this, nothing else”, you assured her.  

She manages to calm down before speak again, “What I'm trying to say is that I know if I accept Haejoong’s help right now it wouldn’t look good on you, but I have nobody else now and somehow he is the only person willing to help me...”

You didn't really focus on hearing the rest of her explanation, all you could think about was how Haejoong steadfastly insisted he would be on your side, but where was he when you needed him too? Why is he suddenly so nice to Jihyun? And why did he lie about the post-its to you? You weren’t feeling upset or jealous and you had no way to prove it but something just doesn’t feel right.  

“Finally found the both of you”, a voice suddenly breaks your trance, it was mellow, but it made you spin around in your seat sharply. Haejoong was standing only less than a metre away and you don’t even know when he had entered the room. He wore his usual boyish smile. You hoped that it was because of the sunset, but the shadows of his smile began to make you apprehensive.  

[bluehedron]

Discussion - The Yeerk and Dreams

Hello all! I’m gonna try out something new. I’ve been thinking of not announcing my fanfic every chapter I updated here because as a friend pointed out, we’re all here for the art. Visual is beautiful. I can’t blame that. And I’ve already have other websites to do that so this is gonna be strictly art-based (maybe to do with my own fic as more for character development and visual exploration) and reblog on Animorphs-related stuff. And shoutout to fics (I’ve been neglecting that and this blog cuz of work so apology for that). 

But I was thinking of holding discussions with you guys. I’ve thought of ideas and headcanons for my fic that I wanna explore more into them. And share them that even writers wanna try them out too for theirs.

First discussion to test the waters: what do you think about a Yeerk and the dream state of a host?

I’ve had this idea for a bit for either a chapter of my fanfic or a future book. The scenario is a Yeerk ally (yes, you read that. There’s an explanation for that and it’s not an intended alliance btw) has to go into an unconscious host to gather information for example, a password. So here are some divided sub-thoughts:

1. An infesting on an unconscious Controller. 

So I’ve been wondering if a Yeerk of a host would ever find out if another Yeerk infested their host when conscious. And doesn’t when the host’s not. When we’re asleep or fainted, we don’t know what’s going on so we wouldn’t know if another Yeerk sneak in and out for intel from our brain. Sure, a Yeerk could leave evidence such as the typical drilling through the skull and healing it back but probably the other Yeerk wouldn’t even notice this change when coming back. Basically it could be possible for a Yeerk mole to help get intel but only if a host isn’t awake.

2. The dream state

I have the thought that Yeerks don’t dream but during a host’s sleep, they in a way, ‘dream’ the host’s dreams. Kinda like you’re watching a movie like a TV while sleeping. But here’s a thought, “if you fall in a dream and die, do you die in real life?” 

The idea is depending on the severity of a dream state, would Yeerks be mentally affected by it? Say for example, my Yeerk character from my fic, has done a dive to get information before on an unconscious human but had to go through their subconscious fears, clowns and popping balloons. Which after that, she has gained an irrational fear of them now (heehee). After all, Yeerks wouldn’t understand what we humans see as easy as a second nature. Moreover, a human mind awake could be easy to comprehend with the Yeerk getting the details they need. But in a dream state, the mind world to them is so confusing and incomprehensible that they either need to deny it or temporarily bail out. Worst case scenario is literally dying from fear by the host’s dream, depending on the host’s mental state too.

Taking an example if you guys’ seen the gameplay trailer of Observer, that you put a wire to the victim’s brain and dive yourself in. But the world you see in the victim’s mind isn’t like our reality, everything’s misshapen, out of place, surreal, because the victim is actually dying or is dead.

Through a Yeerk’s POV, they’d need to piece things out to get what they want too, especially if they’re a mole. AND especially if they don’t really know what is supposed to be a human’s reality or fantasy (and the plus idea that they don’t dream doesn’t help them either).

3. The 3 day cycle

I’ve always thought the 3 day cycle Yeerks need is their usage of energy on controlling a host, physically and mentally. And that part of that 3 day is mainly on having to deal with the host’s dream/mental state. In real life, we all have mental stress, mental problems, mental dismay that we really do feel exhausted. Mental health is an important factor of our lives so why shouldn’t that apply to aliens (yes, fictional or real). It’s easy to control a body to your whims but maybe not when the mind isn’t controllable. 

Another side idea - based on the main one where my Yeerk’s host was born with half a brain, she’s able to control half of the body and also means, she doesn’t use all of her energy as easily as most Yeerks do. She’s able to converse it while cooperating with her host to move together. So it’s kinda interesting to think that Yeerks could possibly live longer if they didn’t invest a lot of their energy in fully controlling a host. Possible if the host and Yeerk has a symbiotic relationship instead of a one sided one.

4. Manipulation of a Dream world

This is where you could see this as either dark and dangerous or sweet and peaceful. This idea actually came to me as an if - which is IF Ax were to ever build a frenemy relationship with a Yeerk ally to the point he’ll ‘eventually’ allow her to infest him depending on situations (DEPENDING! I know Ax will never let that happen). 

The idea is the Yeerk helps him shape up his dream world that is very similar to his homeworld, because a Yeerk like her has some control in changing the mind’s visual pictures. It’s in a way like a virtual reality. It’s not home to him but it’s close enough to feel at peace with it. 

So about manipulation. If being forced to or having to use measures on a host, a Yeerk could change and distort the host’s dream world, like a torture device. Make them fear things beyond their control in the dream world. And that there’s no escape from the dream. Applying with number 3, there probably is a limit like using too much energy because a Yeerk distorting the dream world is like distorting ‘reality’. Another direction is if a Yeerk could repair a host’s stress or dismay by giving them dreams they want - and that’s also a big if the Yeerk has a symbiotic relationship for the host too. If there hadn’t been a war, Yeerks might actually help out people with their own problems like insomnia (I can only think of one example. I am sorry).

Of course, you could look at it this way: that this could be a possible idea for the Yeerks to look into by their science community as a means to get most controllable hosts easily. A form of indoctrination. Like the Matrix! -gets shot- Jokes aside, if the Yeerks were able to fully uncover the secrets of the mind to manipulate it better without the cost of a Yeerk’s own life, it could seriously put a turn in the tide.

One more side idea - every time a Yeerk dives into a host’s mind, they don’t see them as a Yeerk in the dream world but as either the host or a made-up version of a character, like an avatar. Another form of ‘manipulation’ of the dreamworld. 

So that’s bout it. What do you guys think? Are there some angles I’ve never thought off for this discussion? Or sounds weird since Yeerks are enemies in the Animorphs world? Or maybe Yeerks are kinda like us - there are some who are more resilisant and cold to be brought down by dreams and some affected by humans’ emotions and start to question themselves? Even Andalites could apply. Races are different but there’s always gonna be some common ground in different perspectives. 

And if this discussion idea is a good one, I’ll post out more, some probably based on my fic to be honest. Even suggested thoughts too you guys would like to discuss and that creators would like to look in and explore. These are open and general discussions, feel free to take the ideas for your own fanfic/art if you wanna try it out.

If not, ah well, I just enjoyed writing this discussion about Yeerks. Really fun to be honest!

Now back to art drawing. :) Expect a post hopefully soon or probably some experiments again.

[muffindragon227]

I’ll Keep Your Secrets Safe - Chapter 22

AN: Okay, it's been a while since I've done this, but I want to take a moment to say thank you to everyone reading IKYSS. To all of you wonderful souls who reblog, and to those of you who like IKYSS and who leave me lovely ask or chat with me. The response from you all has been beyond anything I would have ever expected and it means the world to me. I genuinely don't know if I would have made it this far without you all, I'd like to believe I would have, but I'd be lying if I said that the overwhelmingly positive feedback hasn't driven me forward and been a major factor in keeping me going and trying to maintain a schedule.

So I wanted to thank you all, and in more than just words, so I commissioned @approvesport, for art of the infamous kitchen scene. I’m sure you’ve seen it going around, but if not it can be found here.

I also wanted to say that if there's anyone in the GTA I'll be at Anime North on Saturday and Sunday hanging out in the dealers room and would absolutely welcome visitors. :D

Finally I want to give a big shout out to Angelette/Windlist and crew! They based one of their film class assignments off Ikyss and linked me to the video which can be found on youtube, just search /5W9ur6Zclsg. It totally made my day and I get to be super proud of the fact that they got an A on the assignment as well. :D

Anyways, thank you all, and please enjoy the chapter! The next chapter is being written but I don't currently have an eta for when it will be done, but I'll try to post updates on Tumblr as I go.

                                      Chapter 22: After the Storm

"So Mered huh?" Gray asked, a smirk curling onto his lips.

Lyon flushed, then grimaced when he thought of how they left things. "I get the feeling that's not working out."

"Why not?" Ur pouted.

"Uh, the whole fight thing. He was pretty pissed." Lyon said

Ultear rolled her eyes. "Maybe you should try calling him first before just writing him off."

Lyon perked up and glanced at her. "You think?"

She shrugged in response. "Doesn't matter what I think. Either he's worth the shot to you, or he's not."

Lyon sighed and pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes. Ultear clearly wasn't going to be of any help on the matter.

"You should do it," Gray said.

Lyon glanced up at him in surprise.

Gray flushed lightly and shrugged. "You were pretty upset about things falling through. If it means that much to you, you gotta see it through. Besides you'll be seeing each other a lot if you're gonna be around more. Might as well make peace."

Lyon stared at him for a moment before nodding. It was true, he didn't want things to end the way they did. At the very least he owed Mered an explanation.

Ultear chuckled. "Uh huh, no ulterior motive there, eh Gray?"

Gray's entire face went a brilliant shade of red and his eyes darted to Juvia.

Ur frowned "About that-"

Silver placed a hand over hers. "We've covered enough tonight. It's late, we're all exhausted, and we have a whole week to carry on this conversation."

Ur looked like she was about to protest. Her eyes darted back and forth between Gray and Juvia. Finally she sighed. "You're right, a good night's sleep will probably do us all some good."

Lyon let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding.

"I'll just go tidy up in the kitchen a bit." Ur said, rising from the couch and looking world worn.

"We'll get it!" Juvia protested. All eyes swiveled towards her and she shrunk back, feeling embarrassed about the outburst. She bit down on her lower lip and forced herself to meet Ur's disapproving gaze. "It's late and I'm sure you're exhausted. We can handle it."

Ur looked down at her, mouth set in a thin line. The two of them held each other's gaze, and Lyon worried that this would be yet another fight.

Silver rose beside Ur and wrapped an arm around her. "Come on, let's let the kids handle the clean up. They're used to late nights and they can recover from it a lot faster than you and I."

Ur nodded and rested her head on his shoulder a small smile on her lips. "You're right."

"Any chance you'll say that again so I can get a recording of it?" Silver teased.

Ur smirked and raised an eyebrow at him. "Not a chance in hell."

Juvia remained seated as Lyon's parents hugged him and the others goodnight.

Ur held Lyon a little longer and a little tighter than usual.

Juvia smiled. She was happy for him, and proud. He'd taken a huge and scary step forward and it looked like it was going to work out for him.

As Ur pulled away from him her gaze swept over Juvia and kept going.

A knot twisted in Juvia stomach and a feeling of deep unease settled over her. She was back to being an outsider now, and the only person she had to blame was herself.

Kissing Gray had been a selfish thing, and now she was going to pay for it.

Juvia let her gaze linger over the five of them in longing.

"Hey now," Silver chided smiling at her. "Get up and give this old man a hug; I'm too old to be bending over."

Juvia was quick to her feet, but even as he held his arms wide open for her, she hesitated.

Silver didn't. He closed the distance between them and wrapped her up in a tight embrace. He leaned in and whispered, "It's okay. We'll sort it all out. You didn't do anything wrong."

Juvia clung to him tighter and he let his hand sweep down her back and then up again, soothing and reassuring. It grounded her and gave her strength. She took a deep, shaky breath and stepped away. "Thanks, sweet dreams."

He hand ruffled her hair and he smiled. "You too sweetheart."

She kept her eyes on him until he disappeared from sight to climb the stairs before turning to Lyon. She gave him a small smile and reached her hand out towards him.

He laced his fingers with hers, giving her a small squeeze. "You okay?"

Juvia nodded and hummed. "You?"

Lyon took a deep breath and ran his free hand through his hair. He glanced towards the stairs. "Yeah, I think so."

Juvia stepped closer and nuzzled against him, wrapping an arm around him. "Well you're still here, so that counts for something."

He chuckled, freeing his hand from hers so he could wrap his arm around her shoulder. He placed a gentle kiss on the crown of her head and whispered, "Thanks for not letting me bail."

"Yes," Ultear said, locking eyes with Juvia. "Thank you. I'm not thrilled with everything, but I do appreciate you looking after him all this time, and just because I don't like it doesn't mean I can't respect you for having his back."

Juvia bit her lip. "I'm sorry for getting so worked up, or implying that you wouldn't have been there for him-"

"It's fine. Not happy about it, but I get what you're trying to say, and I lost my cool too, so let's call it square and move on," Ultear said.

Juvia nodded. "I'm good with that."

"Good." Ultear stepped forward and dragged Lyon into a half hug. "Just so you know, I still love you. I'll support you as much as I do Mered."

Lyon squeezed her tightly. "Thanks Tear."

"Now, I'm off to bed as I did not volunteer myself for cleanup duty," Ultear declared and detached herself from Lyon.

She ruffled Gray's hair and he swatted at her hand, then she headed to the stairs.

"Fine, abandon us to the chores. Go get your beauty rest. I'll just be hideous tomorrow," Lyon lamented.

"Haha it's your own fault!"

Lyon glared at her playfully. "Night Tear."

"Night."

"Sweet dreams," Juvia said with a wave.

"You too," Ultear called from halfway up the stairs.

Juvia sighed, exhaustion setting in. She wanted to follow Ultear up the stairs to bed or collapse on the couch. The task of cleaning up the kitchen was daunting and uninviting, but it was better than spending the next two days stuck on a bus. Plus she needed the brownie points, if she had any hope of winning Ur back over.

She let out another long sigh and resigned herself to a late night.

Lyon threaded his fingers through his hair and stole a side glance at Gray.

Gray moved back to the armchair and sunk into his gaze fixed on a random spot on the wall.

Lyon knew he ought to help Juvia clean up, but he also needed to talk to Gray. There had been a lot of bad blood between them over the years, and Lyon felt as though it was time to clear the air.

Juvia had told him that he had to decide if he was willing to move past what had happened and judge Gray for the man he was now. If he was honest with himself he hadn't been sure if he could.

Finding out Gray had kept his secret from everyone, including their parents and even Juvia, despite his obvious desire to tell her, had changed that.

"Hey," Lyon said, drawing Juvia's attention, "You cool starting the cleanup yourself? I wanted a chance to talk to Gray."

Gray's head shot up at the mention of his name and he eyed Lyon warily.

Exhaustion flashed in Juvia's eyes and her shoulders sagged. It was clear she wasn't looking forward to the task at hand, but she nodded anyways. "Sure, take all the time you need."

She gave his hand a quick squeeze and flashed Gray a shy smile before heading to the kitchen, leaving both boys alone.

Gray shifted and perched on the edge of his seat, as he stared up at Lyon.

Lyon sighed and ran his hand through his hair then bent down and poured two shots of vodka, then plucked them up from the table and approached Gray offering him one.

Gray accepted the offering, and Lyon reclined against the arm of the couch.

"What are we drinking to?" Gray asked, eyebrow raised in question.

"To keeping your brother's secrets even when he's being a giant asshole to you." Lyon smirked and raised his shot glass.

Gray snorted and smirked back, clinking his glass against Lyon's and downing the shot.

Lyon followed suit and winced a little as the vodka burned down his throat. He regretted not going and at least grabbing a lime to help with the taste.

"Listen, about earlier. I didn't mean to pressure you into-"

"Don't worry about it." Lyon waved him off. "I was planning to do it anyways. I knew Mom was freaking out and I might have been willing to throw you under the bus, but I'd never do that to Juvia. Especially not after dragging her all the way out here."

Gray nodded, but stared at his hands with his brow furrowed. "How'd you figure it out?"

"Hmm?"

"That I knew."

"Ah," Lyon took a deep breath. "Juvia caught on tonight. What you said earlier kinda made something click in her brain."

Gray scoffed. "That's what tipped her off? I've been trying to warn her since Monday, and the one time I'm not trying she gets it." Gray shook his head in disbelief.

Lyon chuckled. "Yeah, she mentioned you've been making implications."

Gray cringed. "Sorry, I thought-"

"That I was leading her on the way I did with Sherry?" Lyon asked with a knowing smirk.

Gray blinked at him.

"We couldn't figure out how you knew until Juvia mentioned that you seemed to be more adamant around Chelia and when you thought I was with Sherry. I called her and she let it slip that she told you," Lyon said.

Gray's eyes widened in surprise. "She admitted it?"

"Not intentionally. I kinda tricked her into it," Lyon admitted.

"I hope you didn't give her too much shit for it." Gray leaned forward and rubbed his hands over his face. "It was a complete accident."

"I know, I was pissed she didn't tell me about it, but I kinda let the rest slide. After all you hadn't told anyone, so I can't say it did any harm."

Gray nodded and flopped back into the armchair. He tilted his head to peer at Lyon. "Yeah, well, I'd be lying if I said the idea hadn't crossed my mind."

"What stopped you?"

Gray shrugged. "Guilt at first. I figured I at least owed it to you to let you know before I outed you. Then some shit went down with Daphne and I guess I gained some insight as to how you might feel. How much it sucks to have your personal life laid bare without your permission."

Lyon frowned and studied Gray, taking in the way his shoulders slumped and how Gray couldn't meet his gaze anymore. "She was your ex right?"

Gray nodded.

"What happened?" Lyon held his breath, certain Gray would brush the question off. He'd never been the sharing type, especially where Lyon was concerned.

Still, Lyon felt like this was the missing piece of the puzzle that was Gray. He'd changed while Lyon was gone, and Lyon had a feeling Gray's relationship was the catalyst to all that. If it was, Lyon wanted to understand what had happened.

"A lot of shit happened," Gray said, breaking the silence. He glanced over at Lyon and Lyon could see the pain etched into his features. "Cana was right, Daphne was a manipulative bitch, and she had me wrapped around her fingers. Then, when I finally got free she decided she'd get back at me."

"Get back at you?"

"After about a month of dating she got super possessive and controlling. She'd threaten to hurt herself any time I wanted to go anywhere without her, or talked to girls that weren't her-"

"You're fucking kidding me. Gray that's abusive as fuck, please tell me you didn't put up with that shit." Lyon couldn't help but feel angry and over protective. Sure he'd had his issues with Gray, but no one deserved to go through that shit. Never mind the fact that Gray's history of loss would have made him particularly vulnerable to that shit.

Gray refused to meet Lyon's eyes, and his mouth was set into a thin line. "I wish I could say I didn't. I shouldn't have, but I don't know. I'd cut myself off from the rest of my friends by hanging out with Bacchus and the others, and their advice consisted of 'tell her to fuck off and kill herself then,' and 'that's women, they're bat shit crazy. But hey, it's worth it if the sex is good.'"

Lyon scoffed. Leave it to Bacchus to advocate abusive relationships in the name of good sex. "Fucking morons."

"Yeah, well, you tried to warn me." Gray glanced at Lyon and held his gaze. "Everyone did. I just didn't wanna listen."

Lyon scowled. It was true, in a sense, but he doubted anyone thought Bacchus could be that dumb or damaging.

"Anyways, point was I got caught up in her for months. I used to beg her not to hurt herself, and told her all about my past with my mom and shit to explain why that freaked me out so much. Of course, the more I told her, the more she used it against me."

Lyon nodded, it was typical abusive behaviour.

"Finally one night we'd had a massive fight, I ended up leaving and ran into Cana at a bar. We hadn't even spoken since college started, but you know how she is, never one to hold a grudge. I told her everything, and proceeded to get wasted. Cana ended up taking me home, I told her I had to go back. I was afraid of what Daphne would do if I was gone all night. What she'd think. Cana told me I was nuts, but she did it anyways." Gray paused, and frowned.

Lyon nodded. "I'm guessing that didn't go over so well?"

He shook his head. "Daphne flipped when she saw Cana. Went off on me worse then ever."

"That explains Cana's venom towards her."

"Yeah." Gray ran a hand through his hair. "She refused to let me stay. Dragged my ass back into the cab and refused to let me leave once we got back to her place. She spent the whole night up with me trying to reassure me it would be okay. I swore Daphne was gonna kill herself, and that it would be all my fault."

Lyon sighed. "Fuck that's insane."

Gray nodded.

"I'm guessing she didn't tough?"

"No, she didn't." Gray sighed and pulled one of his legs up to his chest, wrapping his arms around it. "Cana had me wait until she had class and then got me to go get all my stuff. She let me crash with her, and coached me through the first week. Honestly, I don't think I could have done it without her."

Lyon leaned forward and rested a hand on Gray's shoulder. "I'm glad you had her."

And he was. He couldn't imagine what it would have been like to go through all that, but he'd been there with Juvia after she'd found out about Bora cheating on her, and he'd seen the emotion damage that act had left in it's wake.

"That wasn't the end of it though," Gray said. He rested his head on his knee and faced Lyon. "She had a friend on the university paper and convinced them to let her write a psych article about men with abandonment issues."

"Dude, that shit's illegal, she can't do that!" Lyon hissed. He was ready to hunt this woman down and flay her.

"She didn't use my name. It was deemed vague enough that they didn't even have to retract it, but anyone who knew me, or heard about what happened with my mom knew who it was about." Gray sighed. "It didn't take long for everyone on campus to figure it out."

"Everyone?"

Gray shrugged. "Felt like it. I was constantly bombarded by questions from strangers, and it felt like everyone was giving me looks; some sympathetic, but most were judgemental. She said a lot of nasty shit, talked about commitment issues and basically implied I'd cheated on her."

"And of course they bought it," Lyon scoffed.

"Yeah." Gray sighed. "I had a bit of a break down right before first semester exams. Had to call Mom and Ultear to come get me. They got it sorted so I could retake the exams later, but I ended up needing to see a school counselor. Only good thing to come out of it was reconnecting with Natsu and the others."

Lyon felt a huge pang of guilt. He had no idea that all that was going on when he told his mom he wasn't coming home that first year, but he'd sensed something was off. He'd assumed she was disappointed by his absence, but he'd never asked. Regret crept up his back, cold and clammy. He should have been here for them.

Lyon rose from the couch and moved to sit on the edge of the coffee table so he could actually face Gray. He leaned forward and placed a hand on Gray's knee. "Sorry I wasn't here."

"S'okay. Woulda been one more burden you had to carry for us." Gray offered him a bittersweet smile. "'Sides, it was the first time I ever really got to miss you."

Lyon blinked, feeling taken aback by the statement.

"I don't think any of us realized how much you kept all our shit together until you weren't there to do it," Gray confessed.

"I don't even do that much," Lyon said.

Gray shrugged. "You would have taken care of Christmas plans, comforted Mom when she was having her break downs, and calmed 'Tear down when she'd go off about the whole thing. I don't know, you just-" Gray sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "-You're good at dealing with people. I tried but it's not the same. I mean, don't get me wrong, we survived. But it's been nice having you back."

Lyon smiled. "Yeah, well, it's been nice being back, minus the lying and the drama, but that's kinda my own fault."

"It's our fault too. Juvia's right; we never made it easy for you," Gray said.

Lyon grinned.

Gray flushed and averted his gaze. "What?"

"Cana's right, you like her."

Gray shook his head. "Look, I know what you're gonna sa-"

"She likes you too."

Gray's head whipped and looked at Lyon like a deer in headlights. "What?"

Lyon rolled his eyes and smirked. "You'd have to be blind not to have notice. She's not exactly subtle. I mean she basically grabbed you and stuck her tongue down your throat."

Gray choked, and his face and ears were beat red. "It won't happen a-"

"Relax," Lyon interrupted, rolling his eyes and holding up his hand to halt Gray's word vomit. "I'm over it."

Gray eyed him skeptically.

"Seriously, she's important to me and you make her feel happy. Safe even. I'm still not sure I get why, but you do, and that's kind of a big deal. Her ex left her pretty broken up."

"Yeah, I kinda gathered that," Gray mumbled, he studied Lyon for a moment. "So that's it? No over protective best friend threats? You're just gonna give me the go ahead?"

Lyon chuckled. "I doubt there's anything that I could say to actually scare you off, so I'll leave that to Gajeel."

Gray grimaced.

"But-"

"Here it comes," Gray grumbled.

Lyon glared at him. "Stop being a brat, I'm giving you my blessing," he hissed. Lyon took a deep breath and folded his arms over his chest and locked eyes with Gray. "I just wanna make sure you've thought this through."

Gray frowned. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Lyon rolled his eyes. "It means that Juvia gets attached quickly, and she's coming out of a relationship where she was cheated on, and you're going to be thousands of miles away from each other. So, I wanna make sure you're up for that after everything you've been through."

Gray opened his mouth to respond.

"And before you protest, I'm only saying this to you because the sexual tension between you two is palpable, and she's not exactly great with self restraint when she wants something." Lyon threaded his fingers through his hair and glanced towards the kitchen. "I just don't want you to rush into this, and end up in over your head. She's happy here, our family is good for her. I don't want her to lose that."

Lyon glanced back to Gray to find him staring solemnly in the direction of the kitchen as well.

Gray took a deep breath and let out a frustrated groan as he buried his head in his hands and mumbled, "I hate that you're right about this." He straighten and dropped his hands back down to his lap. His face was mapped with distress. "I don't wanna hurt her."

"I know. I also know that a few hours ago you were pretty much convinced she was in love with me, so I kinda figured you hadn't put much thought into the logistics of it," Lyon said.

Gray nodded. He let out a long breath and met Lyon's gaze. "So what do I do?"

"Think about it, and in the meantime, take things slow with her."

Gray let out a bark of laughter. "Easier said than done."

Lyon shrugged. "Yeah, well, if you care about her then you'll figure it out."

"Then I guess I'm figuring it out."

Lyon sauntered into the kitchen with Gray right on his heels. He felt a million times lighter than before. "Okay you've done enough! We're here to take over, so put us to work."

Juvia set the pot she'd been washing down, and glanced over her shoulder at them, with her eyebrow raised. "You're in a good mood."

"Yeah, well, burying eight years of mounting animosity will do that for a person," Lyon said. He made his way around the island and leaned against the counter right beside her. "You know we have a dishwasher, right?"

"It's fully loaded and already on. There's still a ton of pots and pans that need washing, and I'd rather not wait up for the first load to finish." She brushed a stray strand of hair out of her eyes and began peeling off the rubber gloves.

"I'll take over the dishes," Gray said, reaching out to grab the rubber gloves from Juvia. He smiled at her and then looked over to Lyon. "You can take care of the trash."

Lyon roll his eyes. "I said she could boss me around, not you."

"She shouldn't have to, we're both old enough to know what needs to be done," Gray countered.

"You sound like Mom."

"You sound like you're eight."

"Juvia," Lyon whined, and clung to her arm. "Gray's picking on me! Make him stop."

"Oh my god," Gray muttered. "I think I liked you better when you hated me."

Juvia giggled, then put on her best mom voice. "Now, now, don't make me separate you two."

Gray fixed them both with a withering glare.

Juvia and Lyon burst into peals of laughter. Juvia doubled over as Gray rolled his eyes at them and turned to start on the remaining dishes.

"Ahh, c'mon Gray. Lighten up a little," Lyon teased, as he finally managed to subside his giggling fit.

"Kind of ironic coming from you," Gray grumbled, trying to maintain his stern appearance, but Lyon caught the way the corners of his mouth twitched.

Lyon scoffed, and clutched his heart. "You wound me."

Juvia snorted and clutched her sides.

"Okay, stop you're gonna break her," Gray said, leaning over to check on Juvia, who was wheezing and half crumpled against the cupboards.

"She's fine." Lyon nudged her with his knee and she swatted him as she wiped the tears from her eyes and finally started to slow her breathing. "See, the defense feature still works."

Another fit of giggles erupted from Juvia, and she slid the rest of the way to the floor.

Lyon shot Gray a guilty look. "Okay maybe I broke her."

Gray couldn't even try to hide the shit eating grin he was wearing, and snorted in an attempt to fight back his own laughter.

Lyon sighed and crouched down next to Juvia and rubbed her back as she struggled to stifle herself. Tears streamed down her cheeks, she was panting, and most of her laughs were breathless wheezes. She managed to start to calm down, the giggles lessening enough for her to manage a few deeper breaths.

"That's it," Lyon said rubbing her back in small circles with one hand, and brushing her tears away with another. "You keep laughing like that and I'm gonna think you've finally gone full crazy."

Juvia smacked him as she tried to breath through another small fit of giggles. Thankfully it wasn't as resilient as the last. Her face was bright red when she raised her head to glare at Lyon. "Shut… up," she rasped. "I swear-" Another deep breath. "-you're trying to-" She flinched. "-kill me."

Lyon snapped his mouth shut before he could retort.

Gray squatted down beside them and held out a glass of water.

Juvia took it gratefully, but she waited another minute before she actually attempted drinking it. She downed half the glass in one go before handing it back to Gray. "Thanks."

"You gonna be okay?" Gray asked.

Juvia nodded.

Lyon took her outstretched hand and helped her back up. "Sorry."

"It's okay." Juvia braced herself against the counter, and took the glass from Gray and finished off the rest of the water. The redness was fading from her face and her breathing had steadied. "Probably just exhaustion setting in."

"Definitely. He's not that funny," Gray said.

Juvia's lips quirked into a strangled smile as she tried to glare at him.

"Okay, maybe you need to go to bed," Lyon suggested, placing a hand on her lower back.

Juvia shook her head. She let out a long breath. "I'm fine, I just need a moment. Besides there's still a ton of cleaning up to do."

"We can handle the cleanup," Lyon said.

Gray nodded. "It's been a rough week, and it's past three. Go get some rest."

Again Juvia shook her head. "I'm fine."

"Seriously," Lyon huffed. "Why are you being stubborn about this? We can handle a little cleaning, and it's not like anyone's gonna care if it doesn't all get done."

"Your mom will." Juvia dipped her head, eyes focused on her feet the second the words left her mouth.

Lyon felt his stomach twist. "She won't."

Juvia fixed him with a hard look.

Frustration mounted and Lyon averted his gaze, and crossed his arms over his chest. "I'll talk to her first thing tomorrow, she can't just take all this out on you."

Juvia sighed. "Lyon it's fine-"

"Like hell it is," Gray snapped.

"It is," Juvia insisted, glancing back and forth between them. "She's upset for now, but it'll pass, and I'd rather her not take it out on either of you. I just need to take a few steps back, I got too comfortable and too vocal. I'll ease off and I'm sure she'll come back around. Just give it a few days before you both go jumping on her. She's got a lot to take in."

Both Lyon and Gray frowned, but neither wanted to argue with her.

"Fine," Gray said, "you can dry the dishes. But that's it!"

Juvia smiled at him and nodded. "Aye aye, sir."

Gray blushed and his gripped tightened on the counter as she turned to grab a terry cloth.

Lyon sighed and pushed off from where he'd been leaning and went to start sorting through the piles of paper plates, plastic cutlery, and empty bottles. The sooner they got this done, the sooner they all could get to sleep.

"You should call Mered," Juvia said.

Lyon blinked. They'd been working in silence for a few minutes now, and the sudden statement caught him off guard. "Uh, I think you forgot the part where he told me not to call him ever again."

Juvia turned to face him as she continued to dry the pot in her hand. "I'm pretty sure you said that his exact words were 'call me when you come out or don't call me at all.' So, you should call him."

Lyon's lips pressed into a tight line. "I'm pretty sure that was just his dramatic way of making a point."

"Or maybe he meant it," Juvia countered, setting down the pot and picking up another from the dish rack. "Don't you think it's worth the risk to at least try?"

Lyon sighed. He wanted to say yes, but the logical part of his brain was telling him not to get his hopes up. Mered had eased off as the night went on, but it was clear he was still pissed off, and Lyon doubted that just coming out was going to fix things. "What would I even say to him? Hey, so you know how you said to call you if I came out? Well that just happened, so lets talk."

"Sounds good to me. Just, maybe loose the sarcastic tone," Juvia said, flashing him a smug grin.

Lyon glared at her in annoyance. "You're kidding, it's awful and awkward, and pathetic." He turned to Gray. "Help me out here."

"Don't drag me into this," Gray said, not even bothering to glance in Lyon's direction. "I think you should call him too, but I'm pretty much the king of foot in mouth syndrome so I'm the last person you should be asking for advice."

"It's not pathetic. You just don't like the idea of having to put yourself out there again." Juvia set down the pot and took a few steps towards Lyon. "You're just scared of being rejected again."

Lyon sighed and carded a hand through his hair. "Can you blame me? I've had zero success with dating."

Gray's head shot up and he finally turned to look at Lyon. "Really?"

"Yep, my first boyfriend dumped me two days after we came out because we started getting harassed. And Mered walked out on me a few hours into our first date. My fake relationship with Juvia lasted longer than the two combined." Lyon said with a wry smile.

"Damn, that's rough," Gray said.

Juvia rolled her eyes. "Please, if you counted all the flirting and time spent in some guy's bed, you'd probably be able to piece together a decent length for a relationship."

"That's different," Lyon countered.

"Maybe." Juvia said. She'd closed the distance between them and was able to press into his personal space to fix him with a knowing look. "You make it sound like you're undesired though, when I know you've had chances. You're just too picky."

"So?" Lyon frowned at her. He had no idea what she was getting at, but her sly grin made him nervous.

"So, the fact that you agreed to a date with Mered, having never met him or slept with him speaks volumes," Juvia pressed.

Lyon shifted uncomfortably and averted his gaze.

"You like him, which is why you need to call him."

Lyon rubbed the back of his neck and let out a long sigh. "Tomorrow, it's too la- Hey!"

Juvia reached forward and plucked his phone from his pocket. She skidded backwards as he tried to grab it, clutching the phone to her chest and she scrambled away from him back around the island.

"Juvia! Don't you dare call him, it's almost four in the morning," Lyon hissed. He lunged for her and she shifted around the island keeping it between them.

"He left like an hour ago and he lives thirty minutes away. I'm sure he's still up. You're just being a coward." She started typing in the password as Lyon tried to skirt around the island. She did the same and flashed him a grin as his phone lit up.

"Don't," he warned.

Juvia ignored him and clicked on his contacts.

Lyon growled and vaulted up onto then over the island colliding with Juvia as he came down and wrestled the phone from her hands.

Juvia giggled and backed away. "Good luck."

Lyon stared down at the phone in horror as he saw she'd already hit call and the phone was ringing.

He was about to hit end when Mered's voice echoed through the line.

"Lyon?"

Lyon stared at the phone and considered hitting end anyways.

Mered sighed. "Are you okay? Last I heard you were awol." He paused waiting for Lyon to respond. "Seriously are you there? If this is a freaking pocket dial-"

"No! I-I'm here." Lyon cringed. His voice was strained and that stutter. He sounded like a preteen just hitting puberty.

"O…kay. Is everything alright?" Mered enunciated every word as though he thought Lyon might be just shy of a mental breakdown.

Which was actually a pretty accurate assumption.

"I'm fine. Good actually; and home. I did actually make it home, I'm not calling cause I'm stranded, or lost. I was just at the park down the street, kinda needed to clear my head."

"Right," Mered said.

Lyon stifled a groan, and gritted his teeth to prevent further ramblings. He had no idea what he was doing. He glanced over at Juvia to find her watching him.

Her eyes were crinkled in delight and her hand was clamped over her mouth to suppress the giggles, but he could still hear them.

He glared at her and mouthed 'what am I supposed to say?'

"So…." Agitation was starting to lace Mered's voice and Lyon tugged at his hair in frustration.

"So, umm…"

Juvia tapped on his shoulder and handed him a napkin.

Lyon took one look at it, and glared back at her. She could not be serious.

Juvia shrug and gestured to the napkin, clearly that was her go to, and she didn't have a backup plan.

Lyon drummed his fingers over the napkin and pinched the bridge of his nose. He couldn't believe he was doing this. "Listen… God, okay this is stupid, but; you know how you said not to call unless I came out?"

"Yeah… look about-"

"Ikindacameouttonight," Lyon said in a rush of words. He was met with silence and his heart sputtered to a stop. His mind was screaming and pleaded for Mered to say something, anything, but he clamped his mouth shut.

It felt like an eternity before Mered finally spoke up. "What?"

Lyon ground his teeth, and clenched his fist. Honestly this boy was going to be the death of him. "I. Came. Out."

"You did?"

The hopeful lilt in Mered's voice was enough to loosen the knots in Lyon's stomach and he sighed in relief. His shoulders sagged and he leaned forward over the island counter, resting against his forearm. "Y-yeah."

"Oh my God that's great!" Mered squealed.

Lyon smiled at the elation and could almost picture Mered's reaction. His hands flailing, or him kicking his feet like an excited child.

The squealing stopped and there was a pregnant pause in the conversation. "It is great, right? I mean, they're cool and everything?"

Lyon sighed. "Yeah, I wouldn't say great; my Mom had a bit of a moment and then I had a major moment…. But I think we're good now."

"Right, sorry. I just- I mean, I thought-" Mered paused and Lyon could hear the concern and frustration in his voice. "I shouldn't have gotten so excited, I didn't mean to assume-"

"Mer, it's fine. I'm glad you were excited, it's nice that someone is."

A sharp kick to the side of his shin caused Lyon to wince. He glared at Juvia and flipped her the finger. She could get over herself since she was the one who forced him to have this conversation.

"Oh. Well cool then. Umm, did you wanna talk about it?" Mered offered.

Juvia stuck her tongue out in response, and Lyon copied her while making a face. Juvia laughed in response.

"You seem distracted," Mered said, the excitement in his voice had quickly dropped to disappointment.

"What? No." Lyon rushed to correct him. "Sorry, Juvia's just being a brat."

"Oh, well I can let you go."

Lyon's heart thundered against his chest and pushed himself off the counter to stand straight. "No I wanna talk, just give me a few seconds to find some place without an audience."

Mered's voice was strained. "You have an audience?"

"Oi, you seriously bailing on clean up again?" Gray grumbled. He frowned at Lyon.

Lyon rolled his eyes. "Just Gray and Juvia. I'm supposed to be helping with cleanup."

Mered let out a bark of laughter. "Dude, seriously, we can talk later. I don't wanna get you in shit,"

"You're not," Lyon glanced at Juvia.

She smirked and shooed him off towards the den. "Go, talk, fix this stupid mess. The trash will still be here when you get back."

Lyon smiled at her and wrapped an arm around her pulling her into a hug. He planted a quick kiss on top of her head and murmured a "thank you" before practically skipping out of the room.

"You owe me!" Juvia called after him.

Lyon laughed. He already owed her more than he'd ever be able to repay. But he couldn't deny that out of all the things she'd done for him over the years, making this call for him was probably the one he was most grateful for.

"You owe me!" Juvia called after Lyon as he pranced out of the kitchen. She watched him go with a huge grin.

That was one problem solved. It lifted some of the guilt and frustration from her shoulders. It had been a rough night, but seeing Lyon happy made it feel worthwhile.

Juvia turned and caught Gray staring at her with a pleased little smirk on his lips. Her cheeks heated, and her heart hammered in her chest. Now that she was alone with Gray her mind replayed the events of the night and dredged up the whirlwind of emotions that came with them.

The initial high she'd felt after their kiss had long since burned out and had been replaced by a huge knot of guilt.

"That was awesome. The look on his face when Mered picked up was priceless! I wish I'd had my phone out." Gray chuckled. He leaned back against the counter and smiled. "You really are a great for him."

Juvia's heart fluttered and her throat constricted. "I-"

"He probably would have taken forever to call, if he ever actually managed to-"

"I'm sorry!"

Gray's brows knitted in confusion, and he stared at her, waiting for some sort of further explanation.

Juvia wanted to swallow her tongue. She hadn't meant to blurt it out like that, but having him praise her when earlier he'd been furious with her wasn't something she could handle.

Perhaps he was willing to let it go, sweep it under the rug and forget about it like every other lie she'd told him, but it was clear the pile was adding up. Pretty soon he'd end up like Gajeel, second guessing every word she said.

She could live with Gajeel's mistrust, but Gray was a whole different story. She needed him to believe her when she finally managed to tell him how she felt.

She took a deep breath. "For lying."

Gray shook his head and scoffed. "It's fine, you were looking out for Lyon. I get why you did it."

"I was, but…." Juvia took a deep breath and stepped closer to him, wringing her hands together. "that doesn't make it okay."

Gray watched her approach. His shoulders were tense but he nodded for her to continue.

Juvia stopped in front of him and leaned back against the island counter. She took a deep breath and looked deep into Gray's eyes, willing him to feel the sincerity of her words. "I hated lying to you and your family, especially after all you've done for me. I can't say I wouldn't do it again; I would do anything for Lyon, but that doesn't mean I don't think there aren't consequences. You have a right to be mad at me for it."

"I know," Gray said locking eyes with her.

Juvia froze and heart heart lodged in her throat.

"But I'm not."

Juvia let out the breath she'd been holding and her grip tightened on the counter. She felt like her legs were about to give out on her.

Gray chuckled and stepped forward into her personal space. He planted his hands on the counter on each side of her and leaned in, fixing her with a wolfish grin. "You really couldn't figure that out?"

Juvia bit her lower lip, and Gray's eyes followed the motion.

Juvia stared up at him. "I wanted to be sure. I promised I'd explain myself, but I needed to know you'd believe me."

It was Gray's turn to blush, and his eyes dropped to her lips again, then lower before darting back up. He swallowed, and ease back a bit. It was like he was some nervous school boy all of a sudden. "You did say that."

Juvia smiled and leaned forward. Her left hand reached up to play with his collar. "You forgot about that?"

"It's been a hectic night. Kinda a lot to take in," Gray said.

Juvia hummed, her eyes were fixated on his shirt as she fiddled with it. "Yeah, I can see that."

Gray's hand caught hers, stopping her.

Juvia glanced back up at him in concern. Had she overstepped? Maybe he'd changed his mind. Just because he forgave her didn't mean they were still on the same page.

"I don't really need an explanation for tonight, but I could use one for Wednesday night. You say the two of you are just friends, but I know what I heard…."

Juvia flushed, and her stomach dropped. "It's not what you think."

Gray raised an eyebrow at her. "You two weren't making out in his room?"

"N-" Juvia frowned. "Okay, we were, but we'd both had way too much to drink that night and he was heartbroken, and I wasn't in much better shape, emotionally speaking. Plus it's been months and you're, well-" She gestured at his body. "-you. And half naked most of the time-"

"So you making out with Lyon was my fault?" His tone was playful and the corners of his lips twitched as he fought not to smirk.

Juvia huffed and crossed her arms. Annoyed that he would tease her about something like that. "Partially, yes."

"Partially?"

"You can blame my cheating ex and a few too many vodka cranberries for the rest of it," Juvia said. "Either way, it meant nothing. Just a bunch of pent up frustration that lead to nothing but more frustration, and a crap ton of guilt on both our parts."

Gray nodded. "And with me?"

Juvia felt her cheeks flare up all over again and with them her frustration. "What part of that do you need explained?"

"Did you want to me to kiss you?"

Juvia scrunched her eyes closed. "Yes."

"If it had been someone else-"

"No."

Gray huffed. "You didn't let me finish."

"Didn't need to. You say things that frustrate the living hell out of me, and yet I can never stay frustrated with you." Her eyes fluttered open and she found herself staring into Gray's. "I wanted you to kiss me."

"Then why'd you freak out when I did?"

Juvia sighed. "Because I felt like I'd just taken advantage of my best friend by jumping him when he was vulnerable, and that things were already hanging by a thread between us without me ending up in bed with you. Especially since he'd made it clear you were off limits."

"Pretty sure I was still off limits tonight."

Juvia bit her lip and glanced aside. "You were."

"But you kissed me? Even though I gave you an out?" Gray leaned in and Juvia glanced up at him through lowered lashes.

"I wasn't thinking straight. But also, I kinda wanted to know what it would be like," Juvia admitted. "Then you went and gave me that weak little peck-"

"Excuse me? Weak?" Gray leaned in, a smirk playing on his lips. His arms caged her. "I was trying to be respectful. You made it abundantly clear that you weren't comfortable, and I shouldn't do that again."

Juvia shivered. "I gave you permission, and I didn't expect anything toe curling, but I figured you'd have at least kissed me. Our lips barely even touched."

"So you decided to grab me?" Gray countered.

Juvia shrugged. "As I said, I wasn't really thinking."

"Clearly," Gray rolled his eyes.

"Well I didn't think you'd respond quite so forcefully!"

"Why do you think I barely let myself kiss you?" Gray asked. "You've been driving me crazy for days. Flirting and being distant. And the touching? The cuddling on the couch without being able to do anything with you? It's been well over a year Juvia, and I'm not made of iron will."

Juvia shrunk back a little. Guilt pooling in her stomach. She hadn't meant to tease him all this time. "Sorry, I didn't think you were interested."

Gray stared at her incredulously. "You didn't-" He let out a long sigh. His head dipped forward and his hair fell across his forehead into his eyes.

Juvia reached up to brush away some of the strands, only to have Gray catch her hand.

He took another step forward, leaving barely an inch of space between them. His nose bumped against hers and his breath fanned over her lips. "You should know you're probably the most interesting person I've met in a long time."

Juvia's tongue slipped out to wet her lower lip. Her fingers tightened around his and she lifted her chin a little, brushing her nose against his.

"Well that went better than expected! Mered's coming over tomorr- Woah!"

Juvia practically jumped out of her skin at Lyon's exclamation.

Gray reeled back from her as if he'd been burned. He raised his hands into the air as he stared wide-eyed over her shoulder.

She placed a hand over her heart and willed it to slow to a less frantic pace.

"Am I interrupting something?" Lyon teased.

Juvia didn't need to turn around to know that he had a sly grin plastered on his face.

"Nothing happened," Gray said in a rush.

Juvia frowned at his denial. He'd been about to kiss her, there was no way in hell she was wrong about that. She glanced over her shoulder.

Lyon was indeed grinning, but he seemed more amused than anything. His stance was relaxed and his eyes held a mischievous gleam to them. There was nothing to suggest that he was upset over having caught them, and it wasn't like they were going at it.

Unless Gray thought that's where things were headed?

Juvia's cheeks flushed and she cursed Gajeel for having given Gray the idea. Not that she'd be opposed to it, but she kinda figured they'd use the bed, at least for the first time. Either way, that clearly wasn't happening now that Lyon was back.

She took a deep breath and turned, planting her hands on the counter, and leaned forward. "You were saying something about Mered?"

Lyon glanced at her, then lit up with a genuine smile. "Right, so we didn't get into much, but he's totally willing to come over and talk things out. He said he'd pop by before dinner tomorrow."

"Nice," Gray said, smiling back at him.

"Ahh! I'm so happy for you!" Juvia gushed as she bounded around the island and launched herself at Lyon, wrapping him up in a hug. "I'll be sure to cook up something special then. Oh, and I'll bake some cupcakes to celebrate!"

Lyon laughed and hugged her tight. "I want brownies."

"Okay, I can do brownies, but now can you actually help us clean up this kitchen? I'm exhausted." Juvia said, giving him a light poke in the side.

"Yes, now I can help with the kitchen, not that you two seemed all that concerned with finishing up the dishes," he said as he glanced over at the sink.

Juvia blushed and buried her face in his shoulder. "Shut it, I got you a second chance with your man, I deserved a break."

Lyon chuckled and shook his head. "Uh huh, sure. I think Gray and I should switch tasks. You're clearly too much of a distraction."

"Oi! Don't try to pawn more work off on me. Most of the dishes are done, worry about the piles of trash and all the empties strewed about the house," Gray said.

"Fine," Lyon groaned, "But no wandering hands over there, I'll be watching."

Gray rolled his eyes and turned back to finish off the dishes. "Whatever."

Juvia giggled and released Lyon from her hold, and grinned up at him. "You know, I never knew you were into voyeurism."

Lyon gaped at her, and a loud bang sounded behind her.

She giggled again. She could get used to things being like this; it would never be boring.

In the end Juvia and Gray had caved and agreed to help Lyon with the garbage, which he was grateful for. It went a lot faster with the three of them. Still it was well past four by the time they were done.

"Okay, that's good enough," Lyon declared and glanced at Juvia and Gray. "I don't know about the two of you, but I'm going to bed."

He caught the way Juvia's eyes flickered to Gray.

Gray yawned. "Yeah, me too. I'm fucking dead." He wrapped Juvia in a quick hug, before glancing at Lyon. He hesitated unsure exactly how to approach.

Lyon wasn't sure what to do either but, before he could think much more on it, he wrapped an arm around Gray and gave him a one-armed hug.

Gray returned the hug a second later, and clapped Lyon on the back as the two parted. "Night you two. See you in the morning." And with that he headed down the hall and up the stairs.

Lyon glanced at Juvia, and he could tell she was a bit disappointed. He couldn't blame her, Gray's departure was more than a little distant, compared to how they'd been up until this point. Still, it was probably for the best. She needed to get a good night's sleep, not to spend the few remaining hours before dawn making out like a pair of hormonal teenagers on the couch.

Lyon sighed and wrapped his arm around her shoulder, guiding her towards the stairs.

Juvia hesitated when she reached them, meeting his gazed with a concerned look. "Should I still be sleeping with you? We aren't trying to keep up appearances anymore."

"I don't see why not," Lyon said,

Juvia glanced up the stairs towards Gray's bedroom door. "Mered for one."

Gray for another. Lyon thought, knowing where her concern lay.

Still, Lyon had to admit, she had a point. Mered was a bit jealous of their friendship and they didn't need to keep sharing a bed. The only problem was where would Juvia sleep, if not with him? He knew her preferred answer, but he didn't think that four in the morning was the time to be making those changes, and it would help her case with Ur either.

"That's an issue we can solve tomorrow. It's late, I'm gay, and you need sleep, preferably in a real bed. One more night isn't gonna make or break anything."

Juvia glanced at him, and sighed. Finally she nodded and made her way up the stairs with Lyon in tow.

He was pretty sure a good night's sleep would see most of their issues blown over anyway.