#something something reset time something something clock numbers

[oryx-the-nightmare-daddy]

howling

they're finally investigating weird stat/perk distribution

[helluvamystery]

Tags from @jjsanguine, but yes right I'm so glad someone with dyscalculia replied, because I know my perspective is obviously a little warped cause I didn't have issues with memorizing times tables and such. But I think for most people they think it needs to be a lot more complicated than it is- we're not in school anymore, unless you're engineering or something, knowing how to do the math is far more important than getting an exact number out if it! I'm certainly not doing the real calculation in my head when I leave tips at restaurants or figure out discounts, I'm rounding up to the 5 or 0 first too. I know off the top of my head that 30% of 15 is 'about 5' cause I just divided 15 by 3 real quick. Significantly less intimidating and quicker that way, but still an important skill to have.

Anyway yeah you gotta know how to do fractions to achieve delicious baking. wtf. They write the numbers on the measuring cups.

I actually really hate when people complain about learning math in school and how inapplicable it is to their everyday lives, and then name a type of math that's actually super useful to know and I use it all the time? Like, I use algebra every day, and my trade is goofy T-shirt art. Fractions and percentages??? Have you never tried to figure out how much of a discount you're getting??? Every day I think about the friend who added 1+2+1 and told me it was 5. Guys, I know you're gay, but, that was actually a joke. It was a joke. Please practice math so you don't lose the skill.

[rederiswrites]

I wrote this out for FB and then thought I might as well share it here as well. So if you have ADHD, are a late-diagnosed adult with ADHD, and most particular if you are a person with a uterus and/or have children, this one might be for you.

...

Last couple of days have been a little...weird. Let's start at the beginning. Buckle up and learn something.

As many of you already know, I have ADHD. It's a condition with a PR problem--a lot of people, often even medical professionals, have a very distorted idea of what it does, and a very limited one. For starters, it's not about parenting, or lead paint, or lack of discipline. It's genetic, *highly* heritable, starts in childhood and persists throughout life, and is a sufficiently severe disability that it comes with a decrease in life expectancy of up to 13 years. It is a visible difference that can be perceived in brain scans. These are all, at this point, well established and thoroughly attested in the scientific literature. ADHD affects up to 5% of the population and appears across cultures. It is very common.

It's not just about lack of attention--in fact, plenty of medical professionals think the name should be changed, as in fact the problem isn't the volume of attention but the way we struggle to direct it. We are motivated by interest, and struggle to properly weight future goals and consequences, specifically because they are in the future. If the robin outside the window is more immediately rewarding to our brain, we will watch that, and not the teacher. Our ability to properly weigh the consequences of that choice is negatively impacted by our own biochemistry.

We struggle with many of what are termed the "executive functions", the self management systems of the brain. Degree and presentation varies from person to person, but initiating tasks, completing tasks, staying ON task, restraining impulses, emotional regulation, and working memory are among the things impacted. My working memory is notoriously horrible. When they send you those activation codes on your phone? I often have to go back and read them out several times to enter a six digit number. I have to stop and remind myself what I'm doing between every step of my morning bathroom routine, or making tacos. Sometimes I take off my glasses to put on my contacts, reset, and reach for my pill bottles while I still can't see. My long-term memory is also affected, with my husband de facto serving as the memory-holder of the family.

Another common symptom I personally experience is "time blindness", which can mean both that you have no "internal clock" that has a clear idea of the passage of time, and that our ability to properly weight the importance of things in the future is impacted. So, for example, I can know intellectually what's coming, but it takes some really complex and exhausting antics to actually focus and work on those things if they're more than a week or sometimes even a couple days away.

Without externally imposed controls, many ADHD people flounder and fail to meet social markers of success. Estimates of how many ADHD people manage to complete college range from 5% to 15%. Again: 5% to 15%! I have failed twice myself. WITH externally imposed controls, ADHD people often have to work far harder to make their brains do what is required, and either fail and develop an image of themselves as failures (usually with plenty of external help), or keep fighting and suffer crippling burnout.

To that point, ADHD is HIGHLY comorbid with a whole range of knock-on conditions, some of which stem from the same brain patterns that give rise to the ADHD itself, and others from the trauma of living with a disability, but they include very high rates of depression, anxiety, fibromyalgia, social isolation, and addiction. I have dealt with depression, anxiety, and fibromyalgia my entire adult life. I have never ended up in the trap of self-medication but let's be real, that's partly about having supports and a healthy social environment. It's not some accomplishment I praise myself for, nor is addiction a sin I shame anyone for.

And anxiety has a very different texture to it when what you're really anxious about is the next time you fail in some catastrophic way. Lock your keys in the car. Completely space on a doctor's appointment. Go to pay for groceries and find that your wallet is next to your computer at home. Because the anxiety is not irrational fear of some generalized bad thing. These things do and will happen, regularly. Sometimes it feels like the only fix is getting good at recovering. Because no matter how many times you manage not to blow it, there's always another chance.

So, the struggle to be a reliable person, to be a consistent parent, to be a dependable life partner, is continuous. And it is so so so hard and it sometimes feels like you're not actually making any progress at all. I have tried therapy. I have tried three (or four??) different non-stimulant medications that sometimes help people. One of them DID help. ALL of them had catastrophic side effects. There were times as I was trialing these medications when I needed to be minded because I wasn't capable of taking care of anything, not even myself. Without Jacob, I don't know where I'd be. Not here. Probably in poverty, which is where he found me.

I have tried probably most organizational tools you know of. I have tried imposing schedules, all of which turned to dust and ash when the next fibromyalgia flareup or the next major life disruption happened. I don't think a new schedule has ever lasted a month before.

I HAVE felt like I'm made progress lately. I learned things that really helped my fibromyalgia, which gave me the space to work on other things--just like getting the borders of a puzzle finished. Enough things were spiraling upwards, and I think I might be cementing some gains. I have felt optimistic.

But in the meantime, I asked my doctor if, now that no less than three cardiologists have insisted my heart is Perfectly Healthy, I could finally try stimulant medications. After decades of use, Adderall, Ritalin, and a couple related stimulant drugs are still the gold standard for ADHD treatment and improve outcomes substantially for many people. And stimulants are in serious international shortage. Have been for many months. The only one she thought she could get me was Adderall. And she didn't dare try anything but the standard 30mg because nonstandard dosages would be even less attainable.

So now I'm taking Adderall. One week on 30mg, which I stopped when it was clear my function was being seriously impaired rather than improved. Reassessed with the doctor, now trying 60mg, because that's two of the pills I've already managed to obtain. It is....too much. And in some ways it fixes problems I wasn't working on, while so far making my executive function, my initiation or even *contemplation* of tasks, virtually nonexistant. Which was, of course, the thing I was trying to fix.

So yeah. When you have the context, I figure you can understand the substance of my frustration yourself. If you have children, I don't think you need my help to imagine what it would be like to know that you are unpredictable, or to see that your children are used to to you undergoing events that make you act strangely and erratically. I think just knowing that often, new medications introduce themselves by giving me a migraine, and I know this is possible when I take that first pill, is fairly self-explanatory. And so I expect you can imagine what it would be like, with all of this as a backdrop, to experience worsening of your symptoms, probably because of age-related hormonal changes. To in desperation try something you'd previously been denied. And to learn that it probably won't help.

In a week, I will either give up on Adderall for now or find a way to make it work. I'll put together the pieces yet again--at this point, possibly my strongest personal skill--and continue that upward climb as far as I can get. I'm incredibly fortunate in that regardless, I will be fed and dry and warm and loved. But right now, I feel justified in some serious dismay.

[junkissed]

to-do list

member — coworker!joshua x f reader genre — smut (18+ mdni) word count — 1.7k synopsis — all you need to make a boring afternoon at work more fun is a hot coworker and an insane amount of sexual tension. warnings — descriptions of female anatomy, oral (joshua receiving), implied other sex positions, as usual joshua himself is a warning notes — i wrote this on my phone while (you guessed it!) bored at work, sitting next to my (unfortunately not very hot) coworker. @onlymingyus is to blame for the creation of this and for making me suffer

you're grateful to have the most boring job in the world. 

the days when your supervisor has nothing for you to do are simultaneously the best and worst days of your job. on the one hand, you get to sit at your desk and get paid to scroll on your phone or read a book or listen to music or play solitaire on your computer. on the other hand... without anything to distract you, you're acutely aware of your hot coworker sitting at the desk right next to yours.

you can't help but steal glances at him, dark hair falling in his eyes as he stares down at the phone in his hand, furiously typing something. the barely audible sighs he lets out as he reclines in his chair, flexing his arms as he stretches out and giving you a split second view of his stomach when his shirt lifts up.

you can't help but wonder what he's doing on his phone to occupy his time, but you refuse to let your curiosity get the best of you. it'd be so easy to just turn your head and stare, but you're not going to let him have that satisfaction.

instead you take what you hope is a nonchalant sip of your drink, some fruity smoothie you grabbed from the cafe downstairs before your shift.

"you've got whipped cream on your nose," joshua says suddenly without looking up, his voice cutting through the silence of the office. the sound of the clock on the wall ticking away each uncomfortable second is the only thing keeping you going at this point, taunting you with the promise of a lunch break and some time to yourself to reset away from the thick tension hanging over the office.

your face flushes, quickly wiping your nose against your sleeve and mumbling a quiet "thanks" as he looks over at you. the room suddenly feels way too warm as his gaze follows your movements for a few seconds too long before he turns back to his own desk.

"you didn't bring a lunch today," he says without looking up from his phone again, all too casually considering the way he was eyeing you just moments ago. "planning on leaving early?"

"no. just left it at home," you rush to say, your voice coming out less confident than you'd like. 

"you're welcome to join me," he grins, still looking down.

you squeeze your thighs together unconsciously, the idea of spending an hour alone with joshua sending your imagination into a frenzy. "sure," you manage, clearing your throat and trying to regain some semblance of control over yourself. "wanna take an early lunch? we've got nothing better to do."

he turns off his computer monitor with a skilled flick of his wrist, standing up to face you. "sure," he repeats, parroting your words back to you. you nearly start to melt at his full attention on you, but luckily he breaks the silence before you have a chance to embarrass yourself. "my car, or yours?"

"oh, i- i walk," you say, hurrying to turn off your computer and grab your bag, following him to the door. "i don't live too far."

he holds the office door open for you, ushering you out with a smile. "well, if you ever need a ride, you have my number. i'd be happy to be your chauffeur."

you're stunned into almost complete silence. yeah, you had his number from a work group chat, but you'd never tried to reach out. you were still surprised he even knew your name.

"your sweater is pretty, by the way," he comments as you cross the parking lot to his car, holding the passenger door open for you to slide in.

"thanks," you stumble over your words, still trying to convince yourself that you're not dreaming. your coworker that you maybe (definitely) have a crush on taking you to lunch, offering to give you rides, and he thinks your outfit is pretty?

"you seem nervous," he chuckles, pulling you out of your thoughts. "do i really fluster you that bad?"

"i'm not flustered," you argue, but the warmth in your cheeks betrays you. the february weather is still chilly, so you could easily blame it on the way joshua's car heater is turned up to the maximum, but you're pretty sure he knows better. "i'm just fine," you repeat, pursing your lips and staring out the front windshield.

silence fills the air again. he puts his hand on the back of your headrest, glancing over his shoulder as he turns around to back out of the parking lot. it's disgustingly hot and you can't help but stare, his arm so close to your face that you can see the veins bulging in his wrist.

"who are you texting when you're on your phone all the time?" you ask suddenly, a rush of boldness overtaking you. "girlfriend, maybe?" it's shamelessly, blatantly clear what you're asking, and joshua smirks knowingly.

"jeonghan," he says, glancing over at you and flashing his stupid dazzling smile at you as he pulls out of the driveway. "best friend. he keeps asking when i'm gonna take the pretty girl from work out on a date."

"and what did you tell him?" you say, trying to hide your eagerness to hear his answer.

"right now, if i'm lucky," he replies smoothly. he's so fucking good at this and somehow you don't hate it.

you fix your gaze outside the window, forcing yourself to look at anything but him. "well, you can tell him it worked," you reply, hoping he doesn't notice your embarrassment. you don't look over at him, but you already know he's wearing that smirk again.

the rest of the ride to the restaurant is quiet. but the uncomfortableness about the silence is gone, replaced with a tension so palpable you could cut through it with a knife.

but joshua doesn't need a knife; he slices through it easily with just a hand on your thigh. it sends shivers down your spine, and it takes every ounce of your restraint you have not to move. your skin is on fire as you cross your legs, hoping he doesn't notice how on edge you are. but of course he notices, the ever perceptive joshua knowing exactly the kind of heat that's running through your body.

you don't even know what restaurant he's taking you to— for all you know he could be taking you to his house to murder you, but frankly you don't give a shit as long as he keeps touching you. god, you haven't felt this needy in months, maybe even years, and he can probably tell, too.

but luckily for you it seems he's not a murderer, because soon he pulls into the parking lot of some restaurant you've heard the name of before but never cared to try. for midday on a tuesday the lot is surprisingly empty, but it seems to work out in your favor as joshua turns off the car and noticeably keeps his hand on your thigh, making no moves to unlock the door or get out.

you finally drag your gaze away from the window to meet his eyes, and the rest happens in a blur. you can barely keep your thoughts going in a straight line because oh his cock is so hard and he's trying to hide it but also not trying to hide it and why is it so big and please for the love of everything that is holy in this world let me get railed in this parking lot right now. 

joshua says something that you won't remember later, something along the lines of "can we skip lunch and i'll eat you instead". or actually, maybe you're the one that said that because he starts unbuckling his belt with a grin, but he's going way too slow so you decide to help him by unzipping his pants for him. and holy shit yeah it's big, but you're so eager to take the entire thing down your throat that you barely even notice the tears filling your eyes and the way you gag on him. 

what you definitely do notice are the strained groans he lets out as your tongue swirls around his cock and the way his hands clench and unclench in his lap before you grab his fingers and push them into your hair, urging him to adjust your head how he wants.

it's not long before his hands tug upwards on your hair instead, pulling you off his cock with a wet sound. you inhale a deep breath, pretty lips smeared with spit and precum and eyes wet with tears, and what you find when you finally look up at him is a shock but also the most satisfying feeling you've ever had in your life.

the only word you can think of to use to describe him is broken. his brows are knit tightly together, beads of sweat forming at his hairline as his chest heaves with shallow breaths. his normally perfect smile has vanished, nose scrunched and jawline slack.

it takes him a second to collect himself, blinking as you smile up at him proudly. "fuck-" he starts, his voice higher and shakier than you're used to hearing from him. "fuck, i'm so glad you said yes."

before you even have time to process his sentence he leans across the console and pulls you closer, crashing his lips against yours with a whine so desperate you can't tell which one of you made the sound. you can feel his tongue inside your mouth, eagerly tasting himself on your lips.

it doesn't take long for the both of you to fall into the backseat of his car, moans tangling together as he holds you against the window. with the speed and intensity he's fucking you with, if you were to venture a guess you'd say he's probably been waiting for this moment for months. but the pleasure is too overwhelming for you to dwell on it as he expertly draws orgasm after orgasm out of you, the restaurant you're currently outside of the farthest thing from you mind.

when you finally climb back over to the front seats, neither of you question it when you simultaneously pull out your phones to text your boss that you're taking the rest of the day off.

i hope you enjoyed this!! if you did, consider reblogging or leaving a comment or an ask :) it shows me this is something people want to see more of, and knowing people like this makes me want to write more of it! thanks for reading!!

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[clockwards]

Have some Gempearl minific bits because I don't think I'll ever write a proper one (although I am writing a longer, weirder, Gem-centric fic)

Gem likes being a deer. She used to say it was because people underestimated her, but those days have long since passed. Her antlers hold her a little taller than Joel's curled horns, something she gleefully thinks about but does not say aloud when he forms hills to be higher - she'd rather blame his mountain goat instincts than listen to his blustering excuses.

They are out of their element with the current base of operations, anyway. Deer need trees to run between, goats need cliffs to scale, but this is a wide, open space. It screams danger on all sides, even with the little walls they'd constructed. None of which was helped by the swathes of people (friends, friends, something caustic and fearful) that gathered around her barn. A piece of her loves it: there is safety in numbers, safety in the herd when they hear the ticking clock. This time more than ever there is a tug of confusion on her heartstrings when they circle her, yellow and aching, mangy wolves around a faun.

The wolves kind of suck at killing her though, so she mostly ignores them.

And in her periphery, Pearl flits. It’s in her nature, as a moth. To circle around a light source and tempt fire, to see a beautiful spot of colour and want to suck it dry. She teases at the edge of her vision, goading death and friendship, pressing at the soft centre of Gem’s back and whispering.

“I want that life, doe. I bet it’d taste delicious.”

She rolls her eyes. “Come take it yourself, my dear.”

Privately, she thinks of the whole ordeal as a particularly bad Disney movie plot. Like Bambi, if his first interaction with the butterflies was to be mildly threatened. She’s generally easy to ward away, a soft shoo-ing off from herself or Scott. Out of earshot, she jokes about needing bug spray, and Joel cackles. Together they are a bright, glowing green and the whole world tastes like pepper and lemongrass under their tongues.

They’ve gotten rather collaborative in the past few hours, the flying trivia game causing people to run screeching for answers. She watches, a genial smile on her face, as Pearl’s alights in her yard.

“Who, oh, who opened the End portal in secret life?”

Gem blinks.

“I don’t know, I don’t know who put the last Eye in, I wasn’t-”

She stops listening. That secret had burnt the nerves from her hand to forehead, that secret made her who she was. It felt like water trickling the wrong way up her arm as she set it in the frame, cracking open a hole in the world and in turn, her body. She’d spent the rest of that life with a numb, twitching shield hand, the spots on her shoulder bright with some odd, false light. She hadn’t even won. She hadn’t won, because-

“I think it was me.”

Her head snaps back to the present. And truly, she could have corrected her. She could have shouted ‘me, me!’ the second the question was asked and saved them both a world of pain. Spite and hope hold her tongue like a hostage, and she finds spite has much better reason. Pearl is laughing nervously as the robot puts the microphone down, and Gem is reassuring her, Watcher knows why. She finds her vision is blurred a little, everything coming in and out of focus, until Joel laughs so hard and loud he bleats a little, calling,

“Gem! Gem, she sounds like a robot! Pearl, talk, say something, come on!”

She’s slapping her hand over her mouth repeatedly as if it will system reset her, words coming out as garbled beeps. She catches Gem’s gaze and speaks louder, as if she could solve this for her.

“You know.” She walks backwards and Pearl follows, beeping askance, gesturing wildly. She grins. “You know, I think we can finally have a conversation like this, Pearly.”

It’s a ridiculous punishment. She cannot help but feel it was hand-picked for her pleasure, though, watching those wings flare out in annoyance with every word.

“You’d do anything for me, I know.”

The frown on her face and bucket of lava in her hand say otherwise, but it’s just too easy to put words in her mouth this way. To hear what she wants to hear. It’s laughable, and pitiful, but her left shoulder aches with phantom pain and she remembered nothing of it.

“Oh, my…my poor red Pearl.” Schooling her expression, she turns to blink consideringly up at her. “When I’m red, and you’re still here…I’m sure we can have some fun. Again”

When she nods eagerly, glitching sounds of joy spilling from her, Gem smiles for real. It’s a promise. It is, maybe, a threat.

*

In the middle of the next (typically chaotic) day, Pearl drifts behind her calling plaintive compliments.

“You’re gorgeous, you’re amazing, Gem, come on,”

“Uh huh.”

“You- you’re like a flower!”

“And you’re a bug,” she snorts, grinding her heel over the freshly shoveled dirt. Pearl sputters, antennae flexing dramatically.

“That, that-” she mutters to herself, before jumping triumphantly, “that means, that we are meant to go together!”

Gem cocks her head to the side, smiling at the ground. From Pearl’s vantage, she's certain the moth cannot see it. It’s silly to be pleased at something like that, and anyway, she’s much too far into her game to give it up now.

“Uh huh, Pearl, if you say so,” she hums, tune ever sweeter with her companion competition’s indignation.

[girlnext-do0r]

Odds and Additions..

Im gonna be SO fr rn.. Im getting merked by finals and classes. It was a miracle I could even think of writing this. This one my might be shorter than the others because Im burning out..Btw Im not doing anything special in this like blocking off where scenes end cause woop de doo Im TIRED.

Pt. 6

The morning after felt like waking up mid-sentence.

No clean slate. No reset. Just the weight of unsaid things settling heavier on your shoulders than your coat.

You didn’t speak to Viktor. He didn’t speak to you. But the silence had changed again—no longer just cold, no longer just sharp. It was suspicious. Like you’d both left something open on the operating table the night before and now neither of you wanted to look too closely at it in the light.

He arrived earlier than usual. You arrived later.

Whether that was intentional or not, neither of you said. Though you really didn’t feel like coming in today.

The machines had barely warmed up before the lab door opened again.

Councilor Mel. Golden, measured, and smiling like someone who never lost sleep over blueprints. But she wasn’t alone.

The Dean was with her this time, sleeves rolled to his forearms, eyes scanning the room not for people—but for purpose. His presence was different now. More restless. As if the clock ticking over your heads was no longer metaphorical.

“I’ve seen the numbers,” he said without preamble, voice even but heavy with expectation. “And I’ve seen the competition. What I haven’t seen yet... is vision. Or collaboration.”

His gaze flicked between you and Viktor, sharp enough to make the floor feel uneven.

“I asked for something that would help the people. Not a game of academic one-upmanship. Do you two think Piltover runs on pride?” Which it kind of did..

He didn’t wait for an answer.

Mel gave a slight shake of her head, as if to say be careful now—but didn’t interrupt.

“You’ll be presenting something viable in two weeks. One design. One solution. I don’t care whose name is on it.”

His eyes lingered on both of you, jaw tight.

“Either figure out how to work together, or don’t bother submitting anything at all.”

Then he turned and left.

And just like that, the countdown had begun again.

But this time, it wasn’t about who broke first.

It was about whether either of you could stand to build something... together.

You didn’t sit down right away.

The Dean’s words were still suspended in the air like smoke—smothering, clinging to everything. You stood there a moment too long, jaw tight, eyes fixed on the blueprint Viktor had abandoned halfway through last night. The same one you’d memorized without meaning to. The same one you’d rewritten in your head a dozen different ways while telling yourself it didn’t matter. That he didn’t matter.

Across the room, Viktor didn’t look up. His posture hadn’t changed, but something in the way he held his pen said he wasn’t drawing—he was waiting. Listening. Just like always.

You sat.

Not because it was an olive branch. But because the Dean had thrown down a gauntlet, and neither of you would let it go untouched.

The quiet stretched again, taut as wire. It wasn’t collaboration. Not yet. It was detente. An agreement not to set the place on fire while the council still had matches in hand.

Eventually, Viktor spoke. A single word, quiet, without any real shape to it.

“Fine.”

You didn’t look at him.

“Fine,” you echoed, the word tasting more like defeat than agreement.

Neither of you said what you really meant: Let’s do this, but don’t think for a second I’ve forgiven you for your selfish ways.

Let’s build this thing, but not with trust.

Not with hope.

Just teeth. Just nails. Just the slow, grinding pressure of two minds refusing to back down.

You reached for a clean sheet of paper, not even bothering to hide the tremor in your fingers. If he noticed, he didn’t comment.

He just pulled his own notes closer.

And together—almost— you began. The hours passed like sand through cracked glass. Slow. Uneven. Inevitable.

You spoke only when necessary. Pointed questions. Sharpened answers. No softness. No detours. The kind of conversation built from stone and splinters—functional, but jagged. Viktor didn’t look at you unless he had to, and you returned the favor like it was law.

Still, something shifted.

It wasn’t trust. Barely even respect.

It was acknowledgment. A quiet, begrudging recognition that two sharp edges could cut cleaner if aligned.

You handed him a draft, wordlessly. He didn’t comment on the linework, though you knew he saw the improvement. Saw the part you’d borrowed from his design—and the part you’d fixed. He only nodded, barely, and adjusted a single angle before passing it back.

That was the rhythm of it: offer, accept, revise. Like passing a blade between you, testing who would flinch first. Neither of you did.

By nightfall, the shared blueprint was more real than it had ever been. No longer his. No longer yours.

Just something alive between you.

You didn’t know whether to be proud or afraid.

Then Viktor spoke again—quiet, like the dark had dulled the edge of his voice.

“This might actually work.”

You didn’t look up.

“I know.”

And that was it.

No praise. No warmth.

But the silence that followed didn’t feel quite so weaponized.

It was still cold.

But not...cruel.

OKay all done. Ik this was rushed and not the best work but its still something. Eat up or starve. /j

[wannablowloverboysonelastkiss]

time loop clato? 👀

inspired by @tumblingghosts

the gamemakers trying something new for 74th, instead of letting the kids permanently kill each other, they have them unknowingly enter VR realms and whenever a kid "dies," irl they literally just pass out & go into a comatose state in their chair

it gives the gamemakers a chance to change what entertainment the games can offer the capitolites because they can now repeatedly torture the tributes to their fake deaths over and over in different scenarios

kind of like the good place actually except with a technological component

K&P defeat cato, the gamemakers hit the reset button so everyone's memories are wiped. except cato's, because they just want to mess with him and see how he takes it

it's cato. he doesn't take it very well. probably because he was being torn apart and devoured alive by mutts for hours and then suddenly snaps back to the first day of the games with the countdown clock starting as if nothing had happened

and there's clove, miraculously breathing and alive in front of him, stabbing someone's guts out on the grass. she's just in arm's reach and the sight of her hurts him very badly, when all he can think of is how he watched her die and held her while it happened.

instinct takes over and he recovers enough to like, half-heartedly get into the bloodbath while trying to sort through his very confused, muddled thoughts. instead of taking control of the pack like he did the first round, he just sits there holding his bloodied up sword and tries to process everything.

he's not doing a good job of hiding the fact that something is very obviously wrong. the others are confused, the d1s don't want to deal with cato's temper so they mind their own business, peeta tries to get into the pack and it's clove that has to put up the fight against this since cato is incapacitated.

peeta is also wondering what cato's deal is and keeps sneaking glances over at him, but knows better than to mention it. clove takes note of his wandering gaze and has this weird prickling sensation of protectiveness, so she puts a stop to peeta's curiosity ("what are you looking at him for, twelve?" + threatening wave of her knife) real quick

eventually cato gets himself together with an internal pep talk and realizes that this is his second chance, he can do everything right, he can save clove and they can both go home together if he does it better this time

he comes back to the circle as if nothing happened and honestly does not care about their wary questioning glances

he keeps gazing at clove without trying to hide it, and when he isn't doing that he just stares off into the distance.

when glimmer tentatively suggests that maybe someone should talk to cato and see what's going on, and then whispers that he could be a liability needing to be put down, clove is inexplicably defensive about it. "that's my district partner, no one touches him. if anyone gets to kill cato, it's me."

cato isn't paying attention to anyone, instead planning. he knows what has to happen. he actually feels guilty about it, and isn't looking forward to watching these people die again, but clove is the number one priority. he doesn't try to warn anyone about the tracker jacker attack he knows katniss is planning because it'll take out glimmer and d4 girl and give him the chance to wound peeta. he makes sure clove sleeps the farthest from the tree so she'll get stung the least (she gives him a very weird look but goes along with it), and stays up the whole night to be ready.

it must have occurred to him that the only reason he and clove ever had the chance to go home together was largely because of peeta and katniss's romance angle, so he would weaken peeta as much as possible but be intentional about making sure peeta lives and gets them all that rule change.

around the time when cato knows marvel is most likely dead and the rule change should be announced soon, he's literally anticipating it like crazy, erratically looking up at the sky in expectation, knee bouncing, weirding clove out as usual. the gamemakers purposefully wait a few hours more to announce it just to fuck with him, and the words are barely out of claudius's mouth before clove is trapped in cato's bear hug.

wrt how he is around clove, my man doesn't even try to be subtle about it. like clove's memories were reset by the gamemakers so on her end her dynamic with cato would reset too, but he does not care. he's just like "clovey, did you eat your sponsor gift? you have to eat something." *grabs her elbow when he wants her attention* *shamelessly sleeps less than a foot away from her* meanwhile clove is absolutely dismayed by the fact that he's acting this way with her and she... kind of likes it?

finally clove is extremely confused and frustrated by how soft he is with her for no apparent reason and she eventually demands to know what's up. he goes silent for a beat and can only give her an apologetic grimance & she walks away in a huff.

the feast scene!!!!!! he refuses to make the same mistake this time. cato demands to go with her, to guard her. clove misinterpreted it as him not trusting her/thinking she can't do it on her own, which leads to a big fight between them where clove is about to walk away before cato finally grabs her elbow and cracks, telling her he won't lose her again. clove won't let him get away with that kind of statement without explaining what's up and he finally breaks it all down for her. she doesn't want to believe it at first but it does kind of account for everything and why he is this way

naturally she has questions about what happened in the first round, and cato has to look off into the distance and robotically recount everything that went down, but when he gets to the part of her death there's real pain in his voice which gets clove's attention.

how fucked up would it be if the gamemakers hit the reset button here lol? but no, they would wait for this lil scenario to play out and see what happens. in fact it's marketed as an alternate ending where cato and clove are the "other" star crossed lovers.

[qsplaylist]

new you, anytime ꒰ఎ♡໒꒱

wow, it's been a long time

if there's anything this culture has been incessantly pushing, it's this idea of a renewed self. a new persona-turned-reality version of yourself that will eventually appear on a fresh new day. new year, new you, remember?

but I believe that a new you can come anytime. why? because growth doesn't wait for perfect timing. it's not going to wait until the numbers on the clock end with 0, or when it's january 1st, or when the month starts on a sunday. every moment is a chance to shift, reflect, and begin again. who says you need a calendar's, or a clock's, permission to become the better version of yoursel?

1. reflect

take a short moment and ask yourself what it is that is holding you back from becoming the person you want to be

then, realistically, what is one small step you can take right now towards that goal?

2. small intentions

set the small, realistic goal.

one of my favorite ones is just to clean the trash off my desk, and move all the loose papers into one pile on the side of my desk

it's not much, and it's not completely organizing my desk. but it brings a sense of accomplishment that can be lost when we're so focused on huge accomplishments and goals (when these rarely work out feasibly in the long term without the smaller changes that create these outcomes)

3. accept change in small steps

understand that real change happens gradually. I struggle when I work and then don't see results right away, and I understand how frustrating it is to work towards something and not see the end goal that you're working towards

be patient with yourself. much easier said than done, I know. but, no matter the time or day, allow yourself the breathing room for true growth. and, if you fall back into bad habits, shame never helped anyone (maybe you can refer to my post about dealing with failure huhu :D)

every second poured into your goal counts. I've done this with studying. I study everywhere now, even on the ground of the band room if I have to. think of your goal as a bucket, and the amount of effort as droplets of water. no matter how small, even a droplet of water can contribute to filling this bucket. success is really just a numbers game.

if you've been needing a reset, this is your sign. it doesn't matter if it's 8:48 PM at night; anytime is a time to work towards the new you. you've got this, and I believe in you <33

sincerely, q's playlist

[hugshughes]

Headphones J. McCarthy

JJ McCarthy x fem!reader

synopsis - He finally does it. JJ finally wins it all, and as always his best friend, his girl, is there through all of it.

wc - 2k

contains - if you haven't read Rose Bowl, Baby! do it before you read this!!!! the whole Headphoens thing won't make sense to you if you don't so. it's not a direct part two but there's def references to stuff talked about in it, it's the same universe so. established relationship! um cursing, kissing, hugging, touching(? JJ gets a bit handsy after his big win), crying, a bit of making out, the L word, uhmmm, OH TALKS OF MARRIAGE (awwwwwww ur joking). OH WAIT this has like the insinuation that JJ might declare for the draft, but he hasn't yet so that's not real (as of now).

an - UNEDITED! this one prettyyyy short but I wanted to get something out since the BIG WINNNNN yall don't get how much i cried. we were all crying, it was a mess. so proud of the team, GOD BLESS BLAKE. so fucking happy right now. well deserved win for the boys, they put me through an emotional whirlwind though. don't even start on having to watch penix after the game ended, it ruined my life. anyways, i hope you enjoy this.

read, Rose Bowl, Baby! first, if you havent.

-

9:15

The numbers shown above on the Jumbotrons the stadium was equipped with. The minutes were quickly washing away on this football game. It was the fourth quarter, this drive was make or break. If Michigan doesn't score on this drive, it gives Washington the perfect chance to tie the game up late in the fourth.

JJ could do it, you knew he could. He had proven himself time and time again, that not one thing anyone said about him, no matter it be by a famous reporter or a hateful person online, was true.

JJ had controlled this game. He knew exactly what he needed to do to get what he wanted, the College Football Championship. He was comfortable, and calm. JJ had been locked in on the game through all four quarters. He'd put his headphones on at the beginning of the game and hadn't taken them off.

You, along with Jay's family around you hadn't sat down since halftime, not during such a big game.

He looked perfect out there, everything was calculated. Every movement he made was thought out. JJ clapped from his huddle, and his teammates went to their places, moving positions to keep the Washington defense on their toes.

The ball was snapped perfectly, JJ stalled while his men moved across the field, the ball flew from his hands, soaring down the field and right into the hands of a jumping Colston Loveland. Huge first down! Yes!

The boys set up 40 yards down the field, on the Washington 30 yard line. After two more snaps the down was reset again, the boys lining up at the Washington 15. On the next play, JJ quickly handed the ball to Blake, who got a few yards out the field. The next play was crucial. JJ took a deep breath, clapping for the ball. He quickly handed it to Blake, who ran up the middle straight into the end zone! Oh my God, yes! Touchdown Wolverines! It was exactly what they needed, to get ahead multiple scores, so they could sit as comfortably as possible for the rest of the game.

You and JJ's mom, Megan, had started tearing up once he handed off another touchdown, making the score 13-34. You knew this was it, he'd done it. You hugged everyone near you when the clock ran out, crying while laughing with his family. All the families were escorted back into the stadium, and down the tunnel, out onto the field.

You watched JJ run around, talking to reporter after reporter, your favorite smile bright as the stadium lights. He hugged his teammates, and then we all got the go ahead to go out to the field. You hugged Colston, then Blake, and Donovan before you finally got to JJ, in the middle of the crowd. He turned from the cameras and saw his parents, his face lighting up even more. He hugged them so tightly, his eyes getting teary, he'd had everything he'd ever wanted, his family there with him after he won the CFC. He opened his eyes and immediately spotted you, smiling at him in your navy #9 jersey.

He departed from his parents after a few more seconds, saying a few words to them before he lightly pushed past them to about tackle you in a hug. You both stumbled back, brushing against others in the crowd, but it didn't matter in the moment.

"JJ! Oh my God, I'm speechless, really."

He squeezed you tighter, laughing in your ear, pulling back to see your face. You cupped his cheeks, not even noticing the eye black on your hands, that had also no doubt smeared to your neck when he hugged you. You both just smiled at each other.

"Couldn't have done this without you, baby."

He shook his head, emphasizing his sentence. You quickly disregarded it, he would've been great no matter what you were to him.

"This is all thanks to you, JJ. This is what you've worked for."

"'M serious, couldn't've done it without my headphones."

You smiled at him lovesickley, his mom was no doubt taking pictures of you two right now, along with all the cameras meant for JJ.

"I love you!"

You didn't get a chance to respond before JJ smashed his lips onto yours, pulling you somehow closer by your hips. I guess he wants to put on a show, you thought as JJ deepend the kiss. You pulled back from him when you needed air, your chest heaving as your smile stuck to your face.

JJ talked to another reporter, blushing when the man mentioned your kiss. JJ held your hand behind his back while he talked to the man, and you stood with your arm extended out, a few feet behind him, talking with other player's moms.

JJ took some pictures with you and his family before he had to go do media. His personal favorite photo was when you were both turned with your backs to the camera, so you could see the MCCARTHY on both of your backs, but he snuck his hand on your ass. The photo has him with his head turned laughing while yours is turned to him with a gasp framing your face. If you looked at the live version of the photo, you'd see the little video of JJ grabbing you by your waist right after you lightly slapped him.

JJ kissed you again before he ran back to the locker room, he had media to do. You waited with his parents for about an hour before you saw JJ again. You'd watched his live media from your phone while you sat on the ground somewhere inside of NRG Stadium.

Once you'd gotten back to the hotel the team was staying at, most of the team and some family members were all in the large bar and restaurant on the main floor of the lobby. It was almost completely empty other than the team, thanks to them taking up most of the space in the hotel.

"Baby, I can find someone to hang out with, you should celebrate with the guys."

JJ had kept right by your side since you'd gotten to the celebration area, which had now extended from the bar into the lobby of the hotel.

"I am, but I want you right next to me all through this. You've been with me through all of this, you're celebrating too."

You just told him you loved him with hearts in your eyes. He was the sweetest man you'd ever known.

You both stayed out with the group until a little after 1 in the morning, which was early compared to when everyone else would head up. JJ was sleepy, he'd been up for about 18 hours, so you decided it was time to head to sleep.

JJ had showered in the stadium, but you still had to after being in the stands for so long, you could've swore a chunk of your hair smelled like stadium beer.

JJ was passed out asleep when you came back out into the room, you smiled softly, turning off the lamp and plugging your phone in before slipping into bed next to him. He immediately reacted, pushing himself closer to you, wrapping his arms around, and tangling his legs with yours. He was clingy when sleepy.

"Y'know I meant what I said earlier, even though you don't think it's true. You're the only reason I'm still doing what I love, you've helped me through so much baby. I don't say thank you enough."

You were taken back. Tears formed in your eyes at his sentiment. You were sleepy too, so your emotions were on high alert. You tilted his head up towards you, kissing him softly, rubbing your thumb back and forth over his cheekbone.

"You are so special, Jay. No one's like you. You're the most gracious person I've ever known. I love you so much, you have no idea how proud I am of you."

"I love you."

He kissed you again, bringing one of his hands to lay on your hip, the other your neck. Your lips moved rapidly. You let JJ's tongue move against yours, moving your hands to his hair.

JJ pulled away from you first, his chest heaving as he smiled at you sleepily. He gave you one more sweet chaste kiss before laying his head back down against your chest.

"I know you wear my jersey to almost all the games, but somethin' about seeing you in it tonight made me feral."

You were shocked, you wouldn't have ever guessed that seeing his name on your back like you'd done dozens of times before would get him flustered.

"I dunno, it was like makin' me think about when we get married, when I make you Mrs. McCarthy."

You were completely dumbfounded. Of course you know that both you and JJ were it for each other. Neither of you wanted anyone else for the rest of your lives. You only saw yourselves getting married to each, having kids with each other. But still, hearing him say it, was hot.

"Oh yeah? Well it's been almost five years, sweetheart. I was thinking maybe in the next couple I might have a ring?"

"Definitely. Hundred percent chance, no way I wait that long, it'll probably be sooner than a few years."

You smiled, holding him tighter than before. You didn't care when JJ proposed, seriously. You knew he would when it was the perfect time. He was always calculated like that, he knew when to do everything, throw a pass, run the ball, kiss you.

"Doesn't matter when to me. As long as I'm the only one you ever propose to."

Jay nodded against your chest, giggling to himself. He was so tired, you knew you had to make him go to sleep soon.

"Who else could there be? It's only ever been you. You're who I think of when I do headphones. I think that it's just the team, me, and you. I know you don't care if I lose by twenty touchdowns or win by a hundred."

You could've melted. JJ was especially sentimental real late when you were both on the brink of sleep, the air full of love. Thick, sweet, syrupy love that seeped into every crevice of your beings until you were soaked in it.

You motioned headphones over his head still pressed against your sternum, just for good measure. He was your JJ, always.

"I love you, champ."

You whispered as you heard his baby snores leave from his mouth, his head subconsciously shifting to the curve of your neck. All you could think, feel, and comprehend was love.

[angsty-elf]

-Behind Closed Doors-

Chapter 1: Speculation

note: this was originally posted on AO3 last july as a 3-part fic under my other handle professor_freaksworth, linked here. figured I would add it here since we'll be getting the reze arc movie soon ✨

word count: 21.4k, including all 3 chapters

summary: you have been living with and working alongside aki for around a year now, mostly keeping things professional, until aki catches you in a lie. will his petty jealousy push you away, or ignite something inside of him he's been desperately trying to ignore?

content: very mild dub-con + drinking + smoking + pining + eventual smut + fem!reader + jealousy + angst + fluff + cunnilingus + blow jobs + ass play + unsafe sex + slight power dynamic/light dom/sub + unsafe sex + aki being a jealous baby + smut in the final chapter

characters: this fic centers around aki x reader, including some platonic denji x reader interactions + original male character mentioned(for the plot) + other csm characters are mentioned and are present mostly in the second chapter.

this took years off my life.

anyway, here's wonderwall

CHAPTER 2 CHAPTER 3(FINAL)

It’s quiet.

Aki blearily stared up at his ceiling for a few moments before turning his head to look at the clock on his nightstand. 9:47am. He sluggishly sat up in his bed. Running a hand through his loose hair, realization slowly dawned on him. That’s right, he thought. She’s not here.

He usually did his best to get out of bed at a decent time on Saturdays. He could get the chores he didn’t have time to do during the previous week out of the way before trying to relax and accomplish some kind of factory reset from whatever sort of stress or atrocities work had been inflicted on him. Today, however, he woke up later than usual.

Ever since Makima plopped you onto his lap a little over a year ago, he has been used to hearing you get up before him on the weekends. The music you played on your little Panasonic boombox when you got ready for the day always woke him up.

It was never loud enough that he felt he had the right to tell you to knock it off, but with him being a somewhat light sleeper, the noise was enough that he no longer needed to set an alarm. It actually used to piss him off a little, but over time he got used to it. Now he finds that he misses the noise. (And the sound of your slightly off-key singing, which you probably think he doesn’t hear, but he does.)

 After brushing his teeth and tossing a load of laundry in the wash, Aki made his way to the kitchen, letting out a quiet huff when he sees that Denji is still passed out on his futon on the living room floor. If it wasn’t for the faint snoring Aki heard coming from him, he might think he was dead, the way his face was planted in his pillow and his arms outstretched like someone kicked him to the ground.

If you were here like you usually were on Saturday mornings, Denji would already be awake and begging you to make him those fluffy pancakes with whipped cream and sliced strawberries he’s been obsessed with since you made them for him the morning after his first night in the apartment.

After a moment of staring with narrowed eyes, wondering how the hell he’s able to breathe like that, Aki decides to leave him be. With you not being here, there’s no buffer, and he’s not ready to deal with Denji’s dumbass yet. At least not before he’s had a smoke.

While Aki grinds his coffee beans, he catches himself glancing over in the direction of the front door. He knew that you went to help your aunt with something down in Yokohama yesterday and that you were planning on staying the night. That much was burned into his brain from the absurd number of times he overheard you reminding Denji, who kept asking if you would play NBA Jam or Super Mario with him Friday night after work.

He couldn’t remember when you said you would be back. You had a tendency to keep the details of your personal life to yourself, which Aki can’t blame you for, and out of respect for your privacy he tries not to pry too much.

On the other hand, Denji either doesn’t give a shit or has little to no concept of personal boundaries (something tells Aki it’s both).

In the past couple months of him living with the two of you, Aki has gotten to know more personal things about you than he has over the past year due to Denji’s incessant (and often brazen) questions. Denji’s brash attitude and non-existent filter seemed to give you room to let loose a little and come further out of your shell, so instead of brushing him off you almost always indulge him. Spoil him even. Like a new puppy.

A puppy who humps your leg, bites too hard, and wrecks your shit when you’re not looking.

Aki still feels like you let him get away too much, especially when it comes to invading your personal space. Denji often goes out of his way to touch you or be close to you, sitting next to you during every meal, ruffling your hair when you announce you’re going to bed at night. It takes an immense amount of self-control for Aki to bite his tongue.

He even once had the audacity to bring up the prospect of sharing your bedroom with him and Aki almost strangled him on the spot. All you did was laugh your ass off, letting him down with a gentle “no way in hell”. Denji sulked for like a half hour until you begged Aki in private to make him a consolatory plate of apple rabbits, insisting that you can’t make them as “cute” as he can.

Even though a large part of him would rather die than cut any sort of fruit for Denji, Aki couldn’t resist the sweet look on your face, or your flattery. (For the record, he thinks your apple rabbits are plenty cute, but you would never catch that coming out of his mouth.)

The twinge of jealousy Aki feels is omnipresent every time you’re able to let down your guard and act silly with the sharp-toothed nightmare, even going as far as punching him when he does something childish like cheating at a card game or unplugging your controller when your back is turned. Not that Aki wants to be punched, per say, but he’d much rather be the one on the receiving end of your playfulness.

Sometimes he considers the possibility that you’ll never be able to behave that way with him. Without having a copious amount of alcohol in your system, anyway.

It’s not that the two of you didn’t get along, there was just an ever-present modicum of professionalism under the surface of most of the interactions you have, making him wonder if he irreparably blew the chances of you organically showing him any sort of affection or playfulness by putting up such a harsh front when you first met.

Over the time that you have been both Aki’s roommate and subordinate, you have maintained a polite and professional demeanor (almost to an infuriating degree), and it was safe to say that you were the easiest junior Aki’s had to deal with. You never got in his way and you seemed to take your job seriously, which is why you’ve made it this far without serious injury or death considering you have yet to accept a long-term contract from a Devil.

When Makima placed you in Special Division 4 under Aki’s command, she didn’t speak too much on your reasons for getting into this line of work. From what he’s deciphered on his own, and the way Makima speaks to (and of you) like a rescued stray, it’s safe to assume you had a rough go of things and didn’t have many options.

To say that Aki was taken off-guard and a little hesitant when Makima asked (ordered) him to allow you to move into his spare room is an understatement. Apparently, your living situation was rocky. Makima had informed him you had been staying with Kishibe (why that salacious old boozehound of all people, he didn’t know and didn’t care to ask) but his apartment was too small to host you long-term. Makima drove home the idea that would be good opportunity to foster a sense of camaraderie and loyalty between the two of you.

Between Makima’s insistence and not having a good enough reason to outright refuse, he accepted. He had the space, and he had to admit to himself the idea of splitting rent costs wasn’t entirely unappealing.

He would just have to find a way to mentally move past the fact that you were a girl, and that you happened to be – to put it bluntly – distractingly beautiful.

Aki isn’t a fan of distractions, especially when it comes to work.

In an attempt to create a strictly professional rapport between the two of you, and making sure you were aware that you wouldn’t be getting any privileges or hand-outs just because you were boarded with your superior, he had made sure to maintain a cool and walled-off attitude. Often bordering on rude.

On the job, he corrected you frequently and insensitively. Even when it was well-deserved, he withheld any semblance of praise besides the occasional “congratulations on not dying”, and at home he barely acknowledged your presence outside of necessity.

His efforts of keeping you at arm’s-length worked well and fast. He should have felt relieved. In reality, his chest tightened every time he saw the barely perceptible waves of hurt cross your face when he indirectly shot down your attempts of bridging the gap, and (selfishly) it pained Aki even more when you stopped trying at all.

While you seemed dejected at first when it was clear the two of you wouldn’t be holding hands and singing ‘Kumbaya’, you never appeared to truly let his poor treatment as a supervisor get to you. Always quick to apologize, always receptive and eager to accept correction and harsh criticism. You never slipped out of your deferential bearing, no matter how much of an asshole he’d been.

After one of the rare missions that Aki sometimes had without you, Himeno knocked some sense into him, pinching his ear like he was a little kid and - in complete seriousness - insisted that he stop being such a shithead.

You don’t get to be a dick to someone just because you want to fuck them.

Himeno never failed to surprised him with how perceptive she actually was, despite her often-unserious front. His face had burned white hot with shame, and he denied her accusation vehemently. Under the surface though, the magnitude of his callous and unfair treatment towards you came crashing down on him.

He didn’t apologize to you outright, but he promptly adjusted his behavior. Since you’re a kind and forgiving person, his olive branches of gentle teasing and friendly inquiries were always met with a warm smile and a cordial response on your part. But it took a while for the very obvious and solid emotional wall you built to crumble, and it took even longer for you to begin extending olive branches yourself.

He feels heat creeping up his cheeks at memories of you tugging childishly on his pierced earlobes. So edgy, Hayakawa.

Memories of when he’s had to piggyback you home after having too much, feeling the warmth of your body and the soft feeling of your breasts pressed against his back, murmuring tiredly into his ear – Aki, can we watch a movie when we get home?

He always agrees, content to listen to you drone about whatever flick you’ve been wanting to watch, knowing you’ll be out cold before you return to the apartment, always business as usual the following day.

Aki actually isn’t sure if it’s that you don’t remember your behavior with him, or if you’re too embarrassed to bring it up.

He’s considered giving you shit about it before, but always decided against it out of a selfish fear that those little moments might stop. Worse even, he’s pretty sure his brain would explode if you decided to give Denji that treatment instead in place of him.

The gap being bridged (haphazardly), he couldn’t help but get hopelessly attached to you as time passed. He constantly discovered more reasons to admire and respect you, one of those reasons being your uncanny and almost irritating ability to stay calm and compassionate during stressful situations.

Even at times when you’re actively shaking from exhaustion and a civilian is screaming in your face over shit you have no control over, and he knows you’re just trying to get a witness account so you can report to Makima and go the hell home. Or the times when you’ve come across a particularly harrowing scene (mostly the ones involving children), and although he doesn’t miss the way your lower lip trembles or the wavering of your voice, you always end up being the one to console your colleagues when all is said and done. He might think you were inhuman if it weren’t for the soft sounds of sniffling he’s heard coming from your bedroom late at night.

While you obviously have your faults like everyone else (one of them being you can’t handle your alcohol for shit), he would be genuinely surprised to hear about anyone having negative things to say about you. As stubborn as Aki is, he’s human, and it didn’t take long before he had to start consciously fighting against his feelings for you. Feelings that went past just having a hard time ignoring the way the Public Safety uniform hugged your frame, or the way your eyes glittered when you laugh.

Even the local police officers ask about you when Aki goes out for the occasional drink with them, always wondering when Aki will bring you along so they can get to know you better. He always dismisses these inquiries with a smile and a wave of his hand, insisting he’ll bring you along one of these times.

He never means it. Aki has seen the way some of the younger officers look at you, even the married ones, and he doesn’t think he could handle watching them flirt with you. Even the thought of it conjures a heavy, barbed mass of jealously in his chest.

You get hit on pretty frequently, and since the two of you spend so much time together outside the apartment, Aki is often an unfortunate and involuntary witness. While it’s sometimes confusing to him how you reject every single guy who expresses interest in you, even the ones who seem decent enough, he’s always selfishly relieved when you do.

A logical thinker, he certainly doesn’t have any grand fantasies of the two of you getting together and living “happily ever after”. He had never allowed himself even the hint of a fantasy involving having a serious girlfriend, let alone getting married or having children. Ever since what happened to his family, his life hasn’t belonged to him, nothing being more important than his work and ultimate goal of eradicating the Gun Devil.

It would be ridiculous of him to expect someone to blindly accept this fact and give themselves to him anyway.

Still, he can’t deny the way his heart skips a beat when you flash a smile in his direction, or the way his throat tightens when you sometimes brush against each other in the close quarters of your shared kitchen, or the way he can physically feel himself losing braincells when you walk around the apartment in your stupidly small shorts and your oversized shirts that you probably think hides the fact that you’re not wearing a bra underneath…

“Oi. How long are you gonna stare at those coffee grounds with that creepy look on your face?”

Aki’s blue eyes snap over to Denji, who is apparently awake now and standing in the kitchen. His scruffy, blond hair sticking up all over the place, a glazed-over look on his face.

Despite his slight embarrassment at getting called out for spacing out by Denji of all people, he maintains a stony expression. He ignores Denji’s question and turns to grab his old scratched up kettle, filling it with water before placing it on top of the stove. The burner clicks a couple times before igniting, and Aki watches silently as the flames aggressively lick at the base.

When it becomes glaringly obvious that Aki isn’t going to acknowledge him, Denji speaks again. “Where’s (y/n)? Is she back from wherever she went last night?”

Aki bites back an exasperated sigh. How the hell does he still not remember where you went?

“No, she’s not back yet.”

The kettle screams, and Aki takes it off of the heat. Pretending not to notice the childish pout on Denji’s face, he pours the boiling water slowly over the coffee grounds, and the rich smell permeates the kitchen as the umber liquid drips monotonously into the carafe.

“Well, aren’t you gonna call her or something? Don’t we have that thing later?”

Aki pours the contents of the carafe into a mug and fishes out his pack of Ravens, packing it before pulling out a cigarette and sliding it over the top of his ear.

“It’s just drinks with the Division, Denji. I’m sure she’ll be back before then. I’m gonna have a smoke, I’ll make you something once I’m done. Don’t even think about touching the stove.” He picks up his mug and brushes past Denji as he heads for the back porch, rolling his eyes when he hears Denji mutter some half-assed insult under his breath.

***

The weather is dismal and grey, dark clouds covering the sky. Aki had taken his time drinking the cup of coffee he brought out before lighting his cigarette, now it was starting to rain.

Smoke billows out of Aki’s mouth as he listens to the light drizzle hitting the overhang above him, the occasional pinging sound of a big drop hitting the metal railing echoing in his ears.

Did she bring an umbrella with her?

 He takes another long drag off of his cigarette, enjoying the slight burn in the back of his throat.

 His gaze flits over to the little strawberry plant you have growing in a ceramic pot you on top of the small patio table, a small smile tugs at the corner of his lips. He remembers the offended look on your face a month ago when he had remarked that he’s never seen you be able to keep a plant alive as long as he’s known you (there has been multiple attempts), and the even more offended look you had when Denji volunteered to perform funeral rites after it’s inevitable demise.

After a moment, Aki’s smile falls. Why is he thinking about you so much today?

Out of sheer stubbornness he’s not sure he’s able to admit to himself that he misses you when it hasn’t even been a full 24 hours since you’ve been gone, but your absence is obvious, and it feels weird.

Now that he thinks about it, as pathetic as it sounds, this might be the longest amount of time he’s gone without seeing you since you moved in.

He dismisses the heavy feeling in his chest and takes a final pull off of his cigarette before stubbing it out in the ashtray, grabbing his empty mug before reentering the apartment.

***

Still deep in thought, Aki wordlessly passed by Denji (who was now playing some new fighting game on the Super Nintendo) and headed straight for the bathroom to put his hair up in a topknot and change into a pair of jeans and a long-sleeved shirt before returning to the kitchen to make breakfast like he had promised.

He didn’t bother with anything overly complicated; it didn’t take him long to whip up some rice and a few fried eggs with a side of sliced melon. When he sat the dishes down onto the small living room table, Aki shot Denji a warning look, not wanting to hear any complaints about it not being those fancy pancakes.

They ate together in silence for a while.

In between comically large bites of food, Denji kept looking at Aki with a weird, self-satisfied look. Like he was trying not to laugh about something. It was starting to piss him off, so he eventually took the bait. “For fuck’s sake, Denji. What is it?”

"Did you know that girls jack off? Like, in real life."

Denji's inquiry caught Aki off guard so much that he harshly inhaled a piece of egg, resulting in him coughing violently enough to bring tears to his eyes.

After catching his breath and wiping a stray tear from his cheek, he glowered at Denji, and asked him in a hoarse voice, "What the hell do you mean by that?"

"Y'know, masturbating or whatever." Denji deadpans, completely unaffected by Aki's choking fit. "Like what girls do in AVs sometimes."

"I know what you mean, Denji. I'm asking why you're telling me this out of fucking nowhere."

"It's not outta nowhere," Denji grumbled, crossing his arms. "I heard some weird noises coming from (y/n)'s room the other night. It sounded like she was crying or something at first, but then I heard her saying stuff like oh fuck, oh god."

Aki scoffs, turning his focus back on his breakfast in an attempt to suppress the heat spreading across his face. "You're lying."

Denji leaned forward with an irritated look on his face, pressing his palms flat down onto the table. "Why the hell would I lie about that?"

"Because you're a stupid, horny kid. Stupid horny kids lie about dumb shit."

Denji narrowed his eyes, leaning back onto his cushion. "Oh yeah? I bet she has one of those vibrating-thingies in her dresser somewhere. You know, the things that look like microphones?” Denji’s eyes widen, like he’s had some sort of ground-breaking idea. ”She’s not here, we could look.”

Aki frowns, anger building in his chest, hot and constricting. “Absolutely not.”

A groan erupts from Denji’s throat, and he sulkily stabs at one of his eggs with his chopsticks, muttering just loud enough for Aki to hear. “Tight-ass. It's not like it matters if you believe me or not. She'd probably be grossed out if she found out you were going through her stuff, anyway."

Aki felt the muscles around his eye start to twitch. "And she wouldn't be grossed out if she found out you were going through her stuff?"

"I doubt it.” Denji shrugs. “Do you remember that one time I sneezed really hard and a piece of food flew out of my mouth and landed on her boob? She didn't even flinch, man. I could probably get away with anything."

Aki is silent for a moment, gently setting down his chopsticks, contemplating beating the absolute shit out of him. A crease forms between his brows as his mind wanders to how you might react, knowing the little asshole would probably complain to you about it. He can see the look on your face now, ‘not angry, just disappointed’, and he’s not sure it’s worth it.

Ultimately, he decides slamming Denji’s face into his bowl of rice is a fair alternative.

A few hours passed.

The sound of the vacuum fills the apartment. Dragging it back and forth, Aki tries to push Denji’s words out of his mind. There’s no way that little brat was being serious, wouldn’t he have heard something similar at least once since you’ve been living together?

Okay, sure. It’s not outlandish to assume you don’t have… needs. He just couldn’t imagine you being noisy about it.

That’s not entirely truthful. He could imagine it, but he was already half-hard just thinking about the vague idea of you touching yourself and he wasn’t willing to sport a full-on erection when you could be home at any minute.

After washing the breakfast dishes and listening to Denji whine about giving him a bloody nose, Aki had insisted he leave and wait for you with an umbrella at the station. The rain was still coming down steadily outside and he was 99% sure you had forgotten one - because you always forget - and thought it would be a good excuse to get Denji away from him and out of the apartment before he completely lost his mind or had a fucking aneurism.

Denji tried to act like it was a huge inconvenience, but Aki could see the way his eyes lit up a little bit, probably excited to get to be the “hero” who brought you an umbrella like one of those cheesy dramas.

Thankfully, thinking of Denji considering himself to be in any way some sort of hero managed to kill Aki’s semi, and he found himself standing in front of your closed bedroom door, vacuum roaring. Running a tongue over his blunt canine under his pursed lips, he hesitates. He normally vacuums your room for you, but he feels awkward about it all of a sudden.

“She'd probably be grossed out if she found out you were going through her stuff, anyway.”

Aki grits his teeth.

“Irritating little shit.”

***

“Denji?”

There’s a surprised lilt to you voice when you see the slightly disheveled blond-haired teenager waiting for you at the entrance of the Tokyo metro, lazily leaning against a wall.

You weave through the sea of pedestrians, apologizing profusely when you accidently bump into a salaryman who – after shooting a contemptuous look your way – promptly stepped around you and continued his phone conversation.

Denji’s eyes light up and a crooked grin spreads across his face when he sees you.

“Finally, I’ve been waiting here forever! I came to bring you an umbrella.”

It takes only about a second to survey him, a couple things sticking out right away. Not only is Denji not wearing any sort of jacket, he’s also completely soaked and empty handed. You cover your mouth, suppressing a snort, trying to keep your voice level. “Is that so?”

Denji’s cheeks flush and he palms the back of his neck, glancing away, thinking of the abandoned umbrella by the apartment doorway. “I mean, I kind of forgot it. But it’s the thought that counts, right?”

“Not really,” you deadpan. Smiling to yourself when Deji groans and rubs his face.

While you definitely didn’t have an umbrella, you at least packed a rain jacket. Setting your small bag onto the floor, you dig through it. After a moment you pull out the shiny, waterproof material and offer it to Denji. “Put it on. Or at least cover your head.”

Denji opens his mouth to argue, but you quickly cut it off.

“It’s only sprinkling now-” you gesture your head to the exit, where you can see a light mist falling from the heather sky. “I’ll be fine. Besides, if you don’t take it, I’m not going to let you have the treat I got you.”

Denji narrows his eyes, roughly snatching the jacket out of your grasp and forcing the hood onto your head, ignoring your noisy protests.

“Are you nuts?” He grumbles, forcing one of your arms through a sleeve.

“Ow-”

“Can you imagine what that hard-ass would do to me if I brought you home totally drenched?” His face heats up fractionally at his words and he tries to force down a rubbery smile, clearing his throat. “He’d feed me to that fox. I already pissed him off today, I’m trying to stay alive. At least long enough to see Makima-san at drinks tonight. Keep your treat.”

You blink up at him, one arm in your jacket, hair frizzy and partially in your face from having the hood forced over your head. With an exasperated sigh, you slide your exposed arm into the empty remaining sleeve before attempting to fix your hair. “Fair enough. I was lying anyway; I don’t have a treat.”

Denji’s eyebrows knit together, his mouth falling open enough to catch a glimpse of sharp teeth. “What if I had agreed?”

You shrug. “I would’ve figured something out.”

“Messed up.” Shaking his head, he leans down to pick up your bag from the floor. “Let’s get out of here already, I don’t want to be caught in public with a scheming lady with fucked up hair.”

You scoff, shoving him lightly. “Fucked up because of you.”

***

It’s quiet as Aki sits on the edge of his bed, his hands clasped together in his lap. The only sound coming from the rain hitting his window, growing harder by the minute. He swallows. A moment of weakness, that’s all it was. A lapse of judgement.

Sighing, he rubs his face with the palms of his hands, the face that’s still the temperature of the goddamn sun.

Your top dresser drawer had been left cracked, enough for a glint of metal to capture his attention, curious fingers prying it open further and further until there was no going back.

What was he, a grade-schooler? Fuck, he’s no better than Denji, worse even.

He could care less about the ridiculous ecosystem of vibrators hiding underneath the unorganized pile of bras and panties. The glint that tempted him had come from a circular ring, attached to a worn black-leather collar. Aki isn’t dense enough to think for a second this was meant for any type of animal. The curved metal was wide enough he could easily fit two fingers inside, and he had felt his hard-on return full-force at the thought of tugging on it harshly, with your delicate neck at the receiving end.

He recalls times in the past when he’s seen a mysterious gleam flash in your eyes when he’s told you what to do on the job, the way your cheeks have darkened a few times when he’s been particularly hard on you. He had always assumed it was due to embarrassment or maybe even anger, but now he’s unsure. If you were really into that sort of thing, would proclivities like that bleed into more mundane aspects in your life?

Shaking his head, he decides to dismiss the thought, not wanting to assume anything. You had always been professional with him, and he already felt bad enough having discovered this without adding his own perverted (albeit hopeful) supposition to the mix.

Even though guilt and anxiety weigh like lead in his gut, he’s a guy, and he would absolutely be trying to crank a quick one out right now to the thought of you wearing that collar if it hadn’t been for the other unexpected item he found.

A scrap of paper, a familiar name scrawled on it, as well as a phone number. A transfer from Nagano, one of the newer detectives assigned to the MPD.

Hasegawa. Big guy, loud, confident.

This is definitely not the first scrap of paper with some guy’s phone number on it that he’s found lying around or in the trash, you’re too much of a pushover to tell someone to fuck off and he’s seen you accepted many. This one was different though, you had it tucked away, purposely out of sight.

Cold tendrils of envy snaked down his throat and squeezed his lungs, making it hard to breathe.

Were you and him…?

No. You hardly leave the apartment. When you do it’s usually with himself, Denji, or both. In fact, you’re rarely out of Aki’s sight in general.

Except for last night.

Aki sucks in a sharp breath through his teeth, steepling his fingers beneath his chin.

Would you lie to him about something like that?

He shakes his head again, correcting himself, you wouldn’t have been lying to him. Denji’s the one who asked you a million times where you were going, Aki just happened to overhear. When you had told Aki you would be gone, he didn’t really think twice about it. He had simply nodded and reminded you about the drinking-party with the Division scheduled for the following night.

He could absolutely see a reason for lying to Denji. Especially if you were going out with a guy.

Going out overnight with a guy.

He probably would have had a field day with that information, or gotten butthurt, it’s hard to say for sure.

An intrusive thought floods Aki’s mind.

You, on your knees. A large frame leering over you, hands gripping your face, coaxing your mouth open-

Aki hears the front door open, and he abruptly snaps out of it. Trying to quell the surge of possessive bitterness spreading through his chest, listening to the muffled chatter between you and Denji.

***

Denji is soaked to the bone; the rain having gotten significantly worse the closer you got to the familiar apartment building. Water pools around his feet as he stands in the entryway, kicking his shoes off indiscriminately.

“An umbrella would’ve been nice, huh?”

“Don’t even.” Denji shakes his head like a dog, water spraying all over you.

“Denji!” A drop of water flies into your open mouth as you protest, quickly raising your hands to cover your face. “Gross…”

“Stop complaining. You’re perfectly dry besides your face, thanks to the jacket I let you wear.”

“This is my jacket, Denji.”

“That I refused to take when you offered it to me, you’re welcome.”

You laugh, a pleasant sound that echoes throughout the apartment. “Alright, sure. You’re a man among men.”

You miss the way Denji’s chest puffs out ever so slightly, a cocky smile briefly stretching his lips. He’s always proud of himself when he makes you laugh.

While you hang your jacket on the hook by the door, small water droplets falling to the floor, you glance over at him. His hair is wet and sticking to his face, the saturation coloring it much darker than normal, making the tawny hue of his eyes stand out.

You smile.

“Want to use my hair dryer? I’m assuming you don’t want Makima-san seeing you like this.”

“No way, that thing is loud as hell.” He huffs, brushing his wet bangs out of his face. “I’ll towel off.”

You quirk an eyebrow as Denji walks off, tracking water through the apartment on his way to the washroom.

It’s weirdly quiet as you slip into the kitchen, grabbing the nearest towel you see and crouching down onto the hard floor leading away from the entrance hall, soaking up the wet footprints.

Crawling on your hands and knees, you’ve almost made it to the washroom when a pair of sock-clad feet invade your vision. You look up to find Aki’s cobalt gaze staring down at you, his face void of any emotion besides the nearly imperceptible raising of his eyebrows.

You feel your throat constrict. That contrite, prickly feeling you get as a kid after being told-off by a teacher or upperclassmen. The energy around Aki is thick and heavy, palpable.

“Denji forgot the umbrella.”

Nothing.

Craning your neck to maintain eye contact, you feel your face heat up as the silence stretches, feeling smaller and smaller with each passing second.

“I didn’t want anyone to-“

“He’s almost eighteen, you shouldn’t be cleaning up after him like he’s a toddler.”

His words are cold, like icicles speared through your skull.

Yikes. Denji really must’ve pissed him off.

With a labored sigh you lift yourself off the floor, electing to remain silent, the soaked dish-towel heavy in your hands as you pad to the kitchen. You hear the sliding door of the patio open and close, the sound of the rain amplifying for a brief moment before becoming muffled again as you wring the dish-towel over the sink.

You try to stifle the twinge of disappointment you feel. You hadn’t been gone that long, but he could have at least welcomed you back or been a little nicer.

Suddenly, there’s a nagging sense of panic in the back of your mind.

Does he know?

You, in fact, were not out helping your aunt last night. Hell, you don’t even have an aunt.

The only family you’d truly known growing up was your grandmother who passed away when you were sixteen. She had raised you while your estranged father worked overseas, your mother having abandoned you and basically running away from any sort of responsibility shortly after your fourth birthday. (Call-girls with drug problems have a tendency to be kind of shitty partners and guardians, and that’s putting it nicely.)

You were in Yokohama, though. You hadn’t lied about that.

Just the company you were keeping.

A silver badge glinting underneath a midnight-blue blazer, the same kind, brown eyes you remembered on a head that now matched his body. A body that used to be gangly and thin, now broad and well-built.

Daichi Hasegawa.

The last time you had seen him was some time before your grandmother had died. You had gone to the same schools growing up in Nagano, he had been a couple years your senior, but you lived on the same street so you often walked to and from school together.

As kids you had sort of a love-hate relationship. He picked on you often for the cheap, worn uniform you wore and the dated haircut your grandmother always gave you at the start of every school year, but was quick to make it up to you whenever he had genuinely hurt your feelings.

He made you laugh often, and you thought he was handsome in a sort of endearing, unassuming way. He had confessed to you when you were fourteen, after he had grown into himself a little more and gained some confidence.

Your rejection was immediate.

It’s not that you never had any sort of feelings for him, you just didn’t want anything to do with that sort of thing. Being raised by a grandparent made you grow up quickly, often thinking more rationally than your peers.

Your father never had any love for your mother (obviously), and your mother’s love for him had been purchased (literally). Your grandmother had been cast aside for a mistress, her husband leaving her a single parent and social outcast, utterly humiliated.

Even at fourteen, you simply didn’t want to be another statistic. You would lie to yourself afterwards, insisting you felt nothing when his face fell and the glimmer of hope in his eyes was snuffed out.

His smile had a much cockier edge to it when he had approached you after a particularly nasty incident near the Port of Tokyo, his demeanor relaxed and sure of himself. You had actually blushed when he teased you – (y/n)! I could hardly recognize you without that bowl-cut. (For the record, it was not a bowl-cut. Maybe something similar, but…not a bowl-cut.)

You weren’t sure what to do when he handed you his phone number, scribbled on the back of a citation slip.

One night after a couple weeks had passed by, you had laid in bed, staring at his clumsy handwriting.

There was a strange sense of sadness, sticky and suffocating like taffy in the bottom of your throat, wondering if things might have been different for you. If you hadn’t been a shitty, angsty teenager and accepted his confession all those years ago.

Daichi’s voice was a mixture of surprise and excitement when you finally caved and dialed his number. You had both agreed to Yokohama, deciding it was far enough to avoid being seen by anyone in the Bureau or the MPD.

You didn’t want anyone assuming anything or jumping to conclusions.

It started out as just drinks, reminiscing on old times, giving each other shit. Maybe flirting a little bit. Flirting turning into light touches here and there, calloused fingertips grazing over the soft skin of your hand.

By the end of the night, you were sufficiently hammered, so when he whispered in your ear – I got a room not far from here, wanna go? You agreed.

Things happened so fast when you got to his room, it’s hard to remember exactly how things went down. You remember thinking your heart was going to beat out of your chest when he had you on the bed, his lips on yours. Gentle, bordering on chaste at first, but quickly turning into something hungry and desperate.

You remember trying to push away the faint feeling of wrongness in your gut when his mouth descended onto your neck, large, warm hands gripping at your waist, finding the hem of your shirt and sliding underneath.

Blue eyes and light reflecting off of black stud earrings invaded your mind like a parasite.

You couldn’t do it. You stopped him once he got to the waistband of your pleated skirt. Your incessant (slightly slurred) apologies were unnecessary. Daichi is a nice guy and he would never hold something like this against you. He even paid for the cab that took you back to your hotel.

When you collapsed onto the white comforter of your temporary bed, you had laughed at yourself.

How pathetic.

Pathetic for allowing the juvenile crush you have on your superior - a guy you’re pretty sure would sell you to Satan himself for a pack of smokes and a pint of Yebisu - to get in the way of some much-needed release.

"I’m pretty sure if you wring that towel any more it’s gonna rip in half, dude.”

You almost jumped out of your skin, dropping the towel into the sink, your eyes wide as plates when you whip your head over to see Denji leaning against the kitchen counter. You parted your lips to give him an earful about sneaking up on people, but your words died in your throat.

What the fuck did he do with his hair?

“Uh-uh. Nope.” You advance on him, sticking your fingers into his slicked-back hair. It’s texture solid and tacky. “You need to wash it out. Like, now. You look like a politician.” You lean forward, giving it a tentative sniff, grimacing at the strong smell. “Denji- did you use hairspray?”

He swats your hand away. “Himeno told me chicks like when guys do their hair like this. They think it’s ‘sexy’ or whatever.”

Shaking your head, you grab Denji’s wrist and drag him towards you, shoving his head down into the sink.

“That’s cold!” He protests when you run the faucet over his head, your fingers working through his hair.

“Stop wiggling- you’ll thank me for this someday.”

Denji’s too strong, he wriggles out of your grasp and bolts out of the kitchen, water flicking everywhere.

In a flash you shut the water off and run after him, barely getting past the living room before your foot catches on a wet spot and you slip, falling backwards in half a second and smacking the back of your head against the floor. Son of a bitch.

This is why I don’t let water sit on the floor.

A bark of laughter can be heard from the hall. You don’t have it in you to say anything, still laying there, staring up at the ceiling.

“Fuck me.” You mutter, lifting your hands to cover your face. Your head is pounding.

Is this karmic retribution?

“That’s what you get for chasing me like a little kid.” Denji’s hands pry your fingers off of your face, crouching over you, water from his bangs dripping onto your cheek. “Gonna cry?”

“No.”

“Gonna lay there forever?”

“Yes.”

Denji snorts. “You can’t. I need you to show me how to use that stupid hair drying thing.”

“I thought it was ‘hella loud’.” You mumble, flinching when another cold drop lands on your forehead.

“It is.” He retorts, wiping the drop away with his thumb.

***

It’s Aki’s second cigarette since retreating to the patio, and it isn’t doing much to calm his nerves. He’s taking long drags, leaned against the railing in some sort of attempt to put as much distance between himself and the apartment without actually leaving.

He had felt the synapses in his brain short-circuit when he stepped out of his bedroom to find you on your knees, your face flushed from the cold outside, looking up at him with that meek expression that drives him crazy.

He didn’t know what to say.

An impulsive part of him wanted to ask if you had really gone to help your aunt, but the logical part of himself dutifully reminded him that it’s none of his business. You don’t owe him anything outside of work. He’s in no position to accuse you of anything or tell you what to do.

What (or who) you choose to devote your energy to in your spare time is your prerogative.

Even if the thought of it makes him want to slam someone through a wall.

An inkling of guilt settles at the base of his throat, and he takes another heavy drag in an attempt to snuff it out.

He probably shouldn’t have snapped at you like that. All of this could just be speculation, and even if it isn’t, he’s not willing to risk nullifying the progress he’s made with you over petty jealousy.

He tries to ignore the fact that you’ve never mentioned having an aunt before, and the even bigger fact that Makima had stated outright before you came to live with him that you had no immediate relatives residing in the country.

The drag he takes this time burns so much it hurts.

“Just speculation.” He murmurs to himself, smoke streaming out of his nostrils.

***

Aki doesn’t trust himself not to say something stupid, so when he catches a glimpse of you drying Denji’s hair in the bathroom with a bag of frozen vegetables held against your head, he says nothing and moves along to his bedroom where he gets changed into his black Public Safety slacks and tie. He knows the gathering is technically off the clock, but he feels weird being around the rest of the Division without it on.

It’s already ten minutes past when the three of you should have left when you finally emerge from your bedroom. Aki almost groaned. Cherry lips, pantyhose-clad legs exposed under the short pencil skirt you’re wearing, the silk button-up you have on (unbuttoned just enough to where he felt like his tie was choking him.)

He had to look away from you. When he did, he noticed the way Denji was gawking and shot him a warning glare before shoulder-checking him on his way to the front door.

The umbrella was left behind; it stopped raining a while ago and Aki can see slivers of the night sky in-between the clouds as the three of you walk. The izakaya was only a few streets down, so there was no need to take the metro.

He’s silent as he walks, pulling out a cigarette as he listens to Denji talk your ear off about the fighting game he was playing earlier and how he was going to kick your ass the next time you played. Aki scoffs to himself, pausing his stride and patting his pockets in search of his lighter.

Shit.

“It’s okay, I brought a spare.”

He looks down at you, unsure of when you got so close to him.

The lighter in your hand sparks to life. The glow of the flame reflects in your eyes and dances across the red gloss on your lips, which are curled up into a sweet smile that makes the hair stand up on the back of his neck. He can’t decide whether or not you look like an angel, or a demon.

“I always do. Just in case.”

He’s glad that it’s dark out so you can’t see the microscopic tinge of pink dusting his cheeks as he leans forward, steadying the cigarette hanging between his lips before taking a drag, tiny embers flying as the tip meets the flame.

He mutters a thank-you, tendrils of smoke creeping out the corners of his mouth as he watches you shove the lighter back into your small handbag and turn around to catch up to Denji who’s been walking ahead.

It’s like you’re trying to torture him.

The way you’re dressed, the way you’re still so damn nice even though he’s basically ignored your existence since snapping at you this afternoon over something trivial and meaningless.

It makes his stomach twist with guilt, and his feet feel a little bit heavier when he steps forward again.

[lovemesomeeddiemunson]

The Proposal - Part 1

Summary: When Steve Harrington is threatened with deportation, he blackmails his long suffering assistant, Eddie Munson, into marrying him. Steddie! The Proposal Au, Modern Au, Part 1 of 7. 4291 Words

Series Warnings: Blackmail. Food mentions. Mentions of unhealthy relationship with food. Cursing. Self harm (by means of tattooing.) Homophobia. Death of a parent. Abandonment by parents. Shitty parents. Homophobic parents. Parents with entitlement. Classism. Eventual sexual situations (no actual smut!) Brief allusion to a panic attack. Minor spoilers for Flight of Icarus.

Authors Note:  Hi there! I'm Dom, occasional dabbler in fanfiction. I started writing this story on June 29th, 2024. Roughly 30k in total parts later, and I'm unleashing her piece by piece 😂 This has been a true labor of love, and I hope someone out there enjoys reading it even a fraction of as much as I enjoyed writing it. Steddie forever.

Eddie Munson wakes up on a Monday morning immediately concerned by the amount of sunlight coming into his bedroom. 

Scrambling to sit up, his bleary eyes fell on the blinking red numbers of the alarm clock that had definitely reset at some point in the night, and was now mocking him with what was no doubt a wildly inaccurate time.

Filled with dread, he snatches up his wrist watch that's sat in front of it, peering into the little face before he screams, “Fuck!” Launching himself from his bed a moment later, cursing his luck.

He is so late.

He’s got a mere nineteen minutes before he’s supposed to be in the office with his nightmare boss’s morning coffee and protein box, or all hell will break loose. 

And with as many soul-crushing years as he’s poured into this job, he’s determined not to lose it over breakfast.

Desperate to save his own ass, he gets ready in record time, rushing out of the door with his work clothes in disarray as he speeds down the busy city street.

He’s cutting it way too close - but he’s hopeful he can make it - right up until he’s forced to skid to a stop as he breaches the front door of the Starbucks. 

A long line looms in front of him, the morning rush in full swing by this point of the morning, and his face falls at the sight.

However, before his devastation can fully settle in, he hears the call of “Eddie!” A hand behind the counter shooting up as a voice shouts out. “Your usual!” 

Tammy, a barista who’s been serving (and flirting with) him every day for as long as he can remember, smiles brightly as he jumps the line, handing him off two coffee cups in a carrier, along with a bag containing his boss’s breakfast order.

“Oh shit! You literally saved my life! Thank you so much Tammy!” Eddie drops a fifty on the counter from his emergency cash as he goes. The barista titters behind one of her hands at him, pushing a lock of tousled hair behind her ear as he bolts for the office.

He makes it to his building a few minutes later, just barely catching the elevator. Once it shuts behind him, Eddie promptly folds in half, chest heaving, practically wheezing to catch his breath.

Cursing himself for not being in better shape, he dismisses his coworker’s alarmed looks and manages to compose himself by the time he reaches his floor. Rushing out as his coworker Sam shouts “You’re cutting it close!” at him. 

“I know! I know!” Eddie’s replying, in such a hurry to get to his desk that he doesn’t account for the slow reflexes of the mailroom employee who’s come up to make his morning delivery. 

The two promptly crash into each other, one of the cups of coffee a casualty of their collision.

“Fuck!” Eddie exclaims. The hot liquid is now clinging to his button-down, and he can vaguely see the shape of the death of his career aspirations in the stain starting to form.

“Sorry!” The mailman sheepishly says, looking uselessly for something to clean it with before Eddie waves him off, muttering about how he was equally to blame.

Even so. Lamenting his no good, terrible, very bad, morning, he rushes to his coworkers cubicle, saying in lieu of greeting to him, “I need the shirt off your back, literally.” 

Patrick, it seems, could not care any less, looking disdainfully at Eddie’s ruined button down. “You’re kidding, right?” 

Eddie doesn’t have time for this. He resorts to bribery. “Red Hot Chili Peppers. This Friday. Two tickets and company VIP passes for your shirt. You have five seconds to decide.” Glances at the clock and starts to count down. “Five, four-“

“Deal.” Patrick mutters before popping the buttons of his shirt, and shrugging it off. Eddie does the same, giving him the stained shirt and donning the clean one as he starts to hear small pinging sounds throughout the office, notifications going from desktop to desktop. 

Just as Eddie is buttoning the last of the buttons, pulling his long hair from where it had gotten stuck in one of them from his haste, he dives into his chair, reading the chat that pops up from @Samantha.Stone that reads, HBIC incoming! 

The rest of the office reacts to her message accordingly. High heels are slipped on in place of comfortable flats, pocket mirrors are pulled out to make sure eyeliner is just so and that there’s no incriminating spinach in between teeth. Casual magazines are shoved away and spreadsheets pulled up - rosaries are clutched tight and prayed with. Like it’ll help.

At Sam’s warning, Eddie takes his place outside of the glass doors to his boss’s office. Righting himself, he straightens out his clothing and fixes his hair, holding out the coffee cup that was supposed to be his in one hand and the plastic breakfast box in the other.

Lo and behold, moments later, just as Sam had forewarned, the demon himself appears. 

Steve fucking Harrington. 

With his perfect untouchable hair and pristine suit, his discerning hazel eyes are locked in on his phone, not even noticing the fake smile Eddie puts on as he approaches, his walk brisk and evenly measured as Eddie chirps. “Morning boss! You have a half an hour until your conference call.” 

Steve doesn’t even look up from his phone as he nods in disinterest, leaving Eddie with the task of handing him the hot coffee and breakfast all while taking his bag from him, without dropping anything. 

“Yes I know.” He replies dryly. 

“Staff meeting at 9.” Eddie continues, as he walks into the office behind him, Steve settling into his large leather chair. 

“Did you call… um…” Steve groans, spinning said chair to face the desk, “Uh, what’s her name? The one with the ugly hands?” He snaps his fingers repeatedly as if that will speed the answer along. 

“Yes.” Eddie offers. Knowing who he means, nodding as he passes him a stack of papers. 

Steve goes into it immediately, flipping post-its and thumbing through pages. Eddie continues, “Yes, I did call her. I told her your thoughts about her client's new album and the deadline for getting the finalizations to the sound engineers.” 

Steve hands some of the papers back to him, straightening the remainders as Eddie goes on about the tasks on the agenda for today. “Also, your immigration lawyer called. He said it’s imperative that you-” Eddie’s words come to a stop when Steve raises his hand.

“Cancel the call, push the meeting to tomorrow, and keep the lawyer on the sheets.” Steve pauses in his work, a bit of smugness to his tone as he adds. “Oh, and get a hold of PR, have them start drafting a press release. The little songbird my colleagues so generously called ‘unattainable’ is now performing at the Grammys.” 

Eddie’s eyes widened in awe. No matter how much of a terror his boss was, he was impressive in his own right, “Wow. Nicely done.” He compliments.

Steve scoffs, turning in his chair to his computer screen, all confidence and bitchiness as he replies. “If I want your praise, I will ask for it.” 

Eddie takes the words as a dismissal. Steve wasn’t going to ever actually ask him for praise. Eddie’s praise didn’t mean shit to someone like Steve.

So he goes, and as he does so, Steve moves to drink his coffee, pausing when he notices something unusual on his cup.

He clears his throat to catch his subordinate’s attention and Eddie stops walking, pausing in the doorway.

“Who is— who is Tammy Thompson? And why does she want me to call her?” Steve’s eyebrows are raised as he turns the coffee cup to show the side where it says, Call me! Above a phone number, signed enthusiastically by said Tammy Thompson, with a sharpie heart.

Eddie pales at the sight. Floundering as he timidly explains. “Well… that was originally my cup.” 

Steve looks down at the cup with scorn, voice dull. “And I’m drinking your coffee why?” 

Eddie is grappling. “Because your coffee spilled.”

Steve takes a sip, and after doing so, his tone becomes accusatory. “So, you drink lavender oat milk lattes?” He asks. 

“I do.” Eddie nods. 

Steve smirks at him then, “Is that a coincidence?” 

“Incredibly, it is.” The phone rings, and Eddie feels a small semblance of security that he can keep his job a little while longer as he crosses the room to answer it, “I mean, I wouldn’t possibly drink the same coffee you drink just in case yours spilled. That would be pathetic.” Eddie chuckles, voice laced with sarcasm as he picks up the phone. 

“Good morning, Mr. Harrington’s office.” Eddie greets. 

“Hey, Munson. It’s Hargrove.” Eddie hears as he spares a glance at Steve - who's already found something else to scrutinize if his back being to him with his fingers clicking away at the keyboard is any indication. 

“Hey, Mr. Hargrove.” Eddie responds, his words causing Steve to turn around abruptly, with a wicked smile that immediately unsettles him.

“Just confirming Steve and I are still on for our 8:10, this morning. He emailed me about it last night.” 

Eddie looks at Steve with a confused expression, answering reflexively although he had no prior knowledge of this meeting. “Actually, we’re headed to your office right now.” He puts the phone down when Billy’s line goes dead. 

“Why are we headed to Hargrove’s office?” He questions Steve, who gives him a dry look in response that Eddie interprets as ‘What’s it to you? You do as I say.’

A fair point if he’s being honest. And, rather than wait for an answer that won’t come, Eddie rushes ahead of Steve, beating him out of the door with a second to spare as he gets to his keyboard, working quickly to send a message office wide. 

@Edward_Munson: *is typing…*

Dings sound as his message goes out.

HE’S ON THE MOVE!

The notification spreads, alerting the whole floor as they all scramble to pretend to be working just as Steve comes strutting out of his office. 

Eddie follows him at a quick pace, trying to ignore his brain playing the imperial march after them as he takes advantage of this rare moment where Steve has nothing in front of him to ask, “Have you listened to my demo yet?” 

“Uh, I listened to the first few songs.” Steve responds, surprised, before the cool expression comes back, “I wasn’t that impressed.” 

Eddie sighs, disappointment stinging as he bites his lip, “Can I say something?” 

Steve doesn’t hesitate. “No.” 

Eddie persists, “I know my music, okay? There’s an album here. A good one - the kind of album you used to produce.” 

Steve rolls his eyes, “Uh, wrong. Also, don’t ever imply that I don’t still produce good albums, and, for what it’s worth, I do think you order the same coffee as me, just in case you spill. Which is, in fact, pathetic.” 

“Or impressive.” Eddie counters weakly. 

“It’d be impressive if you didn’t spill it in the first place.” As they approach the office they're aiming for, he reminds Eddie, “Now remember, you’re just a prop in here.” 

“Won’t say a word.” Eddie mutters, and follows Steve inside as he waltzes right up to their coworkers desk, the other man barely looking up to acknowledge him.

Ouch. Eddie knows Steve won’t take that lightly…and his stomach becomes unsettled by the display of testosterone he knows he’s about to witness.

They get right to it. 

“Our fearless leader, and his right hand man.” William “Billy” Hargrove jeers, still without pausing whatever it is he’s doing on his laptop. “So nice of you to visit my office.”

“Ah.” The side of Steve’s mouth quirks up in a smile, eyeing his office furniture. “Nice desk. Is it new?” 

“It is. Handcrafted. No one does artisanship like the Italians.” Billy replies without looking up. 

His statement, in their present company, could have easily been misconstrued as flattery - but Eddie knows better. Billy Hargrove doesn’t care enough to appeal to Steve, and so if he’s saying it, he must truly believe it.

Not that it would have worked anyways. Steve takes in his answer as he laments with a small sigh, mumbling “So true.” Like the fact of it is tragic, before he leads right into his next thought, with no hesitation or sympathy, declaring, “Billy, I am letting you go.”

Hargrove looks up from his computer then - eyes wide with disbelief, and even Eddie - who thought he knew Steve well - is looking at Steve with barely contained shock. 

“Excuse me?” Billy repeats, glancing at Eddie who expertly avoids his eyes as he closes the door in order to stop anyone from listening in on their conversation. 

Billy looks back at their boss as Steve goes on. “I asked you over a dozen times to get the performer I wanted for the Grammys, and you didn’t do it. You didn’t even try, did you?” 

“T-They’re unattainable-“ the other man stammers.

“And yet just this morning, I attained them.” Steve replied. Clicking his tongue in disappointment. 

“But…” Billy starts. 

Steve smiles sarcastically, nodding, “I know. I know. Celebrities can be a little scary. For you. That’s okay.” He placates. 

Moving across the office as he makes the other man an offer. “Now, I will give you two months to find another job, and then you can tell everyone that you resigned, okay?” 

Satisfied with his own generosity, Steve turns toward Eddie, motioning for him to open the door. They both walk out of the office hastily. 

Once they’re out of ear shot, his boss’ eyes shift to Eddie, walking at his side. “What's his 20?” Steve whispers at him, making Eddie look back for him. 

Behind them, Billy’s pacing in his office like a caged animal, pulling at his hair. “He’s moving. He has crazy eyes.” Eddie whispers back as he tries to match Steve’s steps. 

Steve frowns deeply, still whispering. “Don’t do it, Billy. Don’t do it.”

But it happens. Moments later, Billy charges out of the office screaming. “You son of a bitch!” The exclamation followed by collective gasping from onlookers. 

Steve and Eddie stop walking, both of them turning to Billy even as the pitying look settles across Steve’s face.

“You can’t fire me!” Billy yells. “You don’t think I can see what you’re doing here? Setting me up so you can get rid of me and make yourself look like a hero to the board!” Billy points, “Because you are threatened by me!” 

Steve's face changes then - pity turning to amusement as he breaks out in a playful smile in answer to Billy continuing on his rant, “You are a monster.” 

“Billy, stop.” Steve says, that smile being redirected as he looks reassuringly to the other employees that have started to watch the commotion. Ever the picture of ease, even as Billy hurls insults at him.

Billy goes on. “Just because you have no semblance of a life outside of this office, you think that you can treat all of us like your own personal slaves.” Billy moves closer. “You know what? I feel sorry for you. Because you know what you’ll have on your deathbed?”

He’s near enough to them now that Eddie can see split flying, the assistant flinching as he snarls “Nothing and no one.” 

But while Eddie winces at his words, Steve just lets out a sympathetic noise, moving closer until the two men are toe to toe, his answering voice honey sweet. 

“Listen carefully, Billy. I didn’t fire you because I feel threatened. No.” Billy glances around the office in arrogant disbelief, as if aid will be found there.

Steve continues. “I fired you because you’re lazy, entitled, incompetent, and you spend more time cheating on your wife than you do in your office.” Billy’s eyes widen as Steve goes on. “And if you say another word, Eddie here is going to have you thrown out on your ass, okay?” 

Billy opens his mouth to object, but Steve continues, “Another word. Another word and you’re out of here with an armed escort. Eddie will film it with his camera phone, and put it online. Is that what you want?” 

Billy gives the two of them murderous glares, but he doesn’t say anything. 

“Didn’t think so.” When he’s satisfied, Steve finally turns his back on them, walking down the hall. 

Eddie is glued to him like his shadow as Steve instructs him flatly, “Have the interns take his desk and move it to my office.” 

“Will do.” Eddie replies. 

“Also, I need you around this weekend to help review his clients.” He adds, Eddie stumbling to a stop.

“This weekend?” He repeats in surprise.

“You have a problem with that?” Steve glares. 

Eddie stutters, “No. I - Just - it’s  my uncle’s 65th birthday so I was gonna go home and-'' Steve waves a hand dismissively, clearly having been rhetorical in his asking as he heads into his office, not even listening to what Eddie’s saying as he stutters through promising to cancel and be available to Steve. 

Then Eddie deflates.

He hasn’t made it home for a birthday since Wayne’s 60th - back before he started this godforsaken job. And now he has to tell him that he’ll be missing another.

He knows Wayne will understand. He always does. But it doesn’t change the fact that Eddie works for the devil. 

The old man tells him as much on a call around lunch, suggesting, as he always does, that he quit if it’s making him miserable.

Eddie launches into his usual defense, until he sees Steve approaching, and then he’s changing his tone, using his customer service voice dismissively - feigning aiding a client - before quickly getting off the call.

“That your family?” Steve asks bitterly. No misapprehension on his end. Not even for a moment.

Eddie puts the phone on the receiver. Doesn’t lie. “Yes.”

“They tell you to quit?” He presses.

“Every single day.” Eddie replies, and then without missing a beat, picks up the phone as it rings. “Mr. Harrington’s office.” He greets, eyes still on Steve. His loyal devotee.

A woman’s voice on the other end of the phone overshadows Steve’s gloom as she tells him. “Hello, this is the office of Mr. Holloway. He’d like to speak to Mr. Harrington in his office as soon as possible, please.” 

“Oh. Okay. All right.” The two hang up.

“Holloway wants to see you upstairs immediately.” He tells Steve.

Steve groans in reply, “Fine. Come and get me in ten minutes with an excuse. We’ve got a lot to do.” 

Steve repeats it as he walks away, like Eddie is an idiot, despite him not failing him once in years. “Ten minutes.” 

“Okay.” Eddie answers, trying not to look at Steve’s ass as he heads to the elevators. And failing spectacularly, as he always does.

While he’s gone, Eddie stares at the clock as it ticks to the next minute. After five, he heads upstairs. He whispers a quick hello to Nicole, Mr. Holloway’s secretary, before hesitating outside of the office to the company president, waiting to interrupt down to the minute. 

Once it has been ten minutes exactly, he knocks, the voices inside halting before Mr. Holloway, is yelling for him to come in.

He pokes his head inside, still holding the door open, only to find the both men in pause, Steve turning his head at him, as Mr. Holloway sees who it is, his expression mildly perturbed. 

“We’re in a meeting.” He says in a clipped tone, but Eddie is infinitely more afraid of displeasing Steve than someone who at least must have a shred of human understanding in him.

He musters his most charming smile, “Sorry to interrupt.” Rattling off his excuse, he notes how Steve’s whole body seems to unload some of its usual tension, his whole demeanor changing. 

Steve’s looking at him with relief, and Eddie is put off by it, by the way Steve catches his eye as he mouths “Come here,” when Eddie is done speaking, his head jerking forward for Eddie to come in. 

Eddie obeys immediately, coming over from where he was standing at the door, walking slowly to Steve’s side as he watches Tom watch the two of them. 

Steve turns back to Mr. Holloway, “Tom I understand… I understand the predicament that we are in.” 

“And—” Steve spares him another look. “And…there’s…well, I mean…There’s something that you should know.” Steve clears his throat, building to this information as he looks at Eddie.

Then Steve declares, “We’re getting married.” 

Eddie blinks at him. “Who’s getting married?” He whispers, his incredulous question said loud enough for only him to hear. Steve smiles at him, the dazzling version he reserves for clients. But not Eddie. Never Eddie. 

“You and I, sweetheart. We’re getting married.” He nearly whispers back. Like it wasn’t news to them both.

Steve nods as if he has further settled into this idea, looking back to their boss as he repeats. “We’re getting married. Eddie and I.” 

Then Steve gives him a familiar look - one that has always meant ‘Do this or I’ll fire you.’

Eddie suddenly finds that he can’t nod fast enough. “Yes! Yes!” 

He looks back at Mr. Holloway as well as he confirms, “We are getting married.” The words feel clunky in his mouth.

And maybe it’s a joke, a misunderstanding, a test of loyalty that surely he’s going to pass?

Only the company president hesitates at his confirmation, addressing Steve as he asks in slight amusement but wholehearted confusion. “Isn’t he… your secretary?” 

“Executive assistant.” Eddie butts in to clarify, like it makes any difference at all. 

Steve laughs heartily, going for the kill. “Well, it wouldn’t be the first time one of us fell for our secretaries. Would it, Tom?” 

Tom gives him a wry sort of ‘you-got-me-there’ smile when he mentions it - Steve bringing to recall a similar event transpiring with his (third?) wife.

“So, yeah…The truth is, you know, Eddie and I. We’re…we are uh, just two people who weren’t meant to fall in love, but we did. All those late nights at the office, the music…” Steve squeezes Eddie’s arm then and continues, “I tried to fight it, and well, you can’t fight a love like this.” 

Tom actually looks satisfied and Steve clears his throat. “So… Are we good - with this? Are you happy? Because we are happy.” Steve gestures to the two of them, “So happy.” 

Tom smiles, voice soft. “Steve. It’s terrific.” He raises his hand, displaying his own wedding ring. “Just make it legal. Mmm?” 

“Of course! We uh, we need to get ourselves to the immigration office, huh? Straighten this whole mess out.” Steve chuckles, bidding him goodbye before the two head back to their own floor, Eddie’s thoughts a whirlwind.

Eddie tries to follow Steve’s fast footsteps. They’re not even on their floor yet, and the news has already spread. 

Computers ding with notifications, sounding off behind them as they go, the entire office looking at the two of them, unable to hold their whispers until they pass. Patrick snickers at him, making lewd gestures as he passes, his shirt stained with coffee.

Eddie wordlessly follows Steve into his office, closing the door behind him, and watches as his boss exhales a sigh, sitting on his desk and looking at Eddie expectantly - like they were here for a planned meeting and not like he didn’t just announce their engagement.

Eddie takes a deep breath. Reminds himself of why he works here. With this sociopath. Then he tells said sociopath, “I don’t understand what’s happening.” 

“This is for you too.” Steve replies, as though it’s all so simple. 

“Do explain.” Eddie deadpans.

“I was going to be deported, and they were going to give Billy my job.” Steve says, like it makes all the senses in the world.

“So, naturally, I would have to marry you.” Eddie gapes, tone as sarcastic as possible.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Steve is being sarcastic now too, “Were you saving yourself for someone special?” 

Eddie is mildly offended at what Steve is implying. “I’d like to think so. Plus, you know, it’s illegal.” 

Steve chuckles, “They’re looking for terrorists, not for music producers.” 

“Steve.” Eddie grits out, hoping his voice is coming out firm. 

“Yes?” Steve answers nonchalantly, like they’re just having another conversation about his job performance. 

“I’m not going to marry you.” Eddie insists. 

“Sure you are.” Steve snaps back, “Because if you don’t marry me, your dreams of touching people’s lives with your lyrical prowess are dead.” 

Eddie’s jaw actually drops. Steve bulldozes ahead and breaks it down for him. “Billy is going to fire you the second I’m gone. Guaranteed. Which leaves you unemployed and connectionless in the music industry, begging producers to listen to some no-name’s track. That means that all the time that we spent together - all the lattes, all the canceled dates, all the midnight Excedrin runs, were all for nothing, and you can kiss being any kind of a musician goodbye.”

He continues, as though all hope is not lost. “But don’t worry, after the required allotment of time, we’ll get a quickie divorce, and you’ll be done with me. But until then, like it or not, you are mine. Okay?” 

He’s his.

The phone rings from Eddie’s desk. Steve gestures pointedly out the door, “Phone’s ringing.” 

Eddie doesn’t know what to do with himself other than exit the office and pick it up.

“Good morning, Mr. Harrington’s office.” He says robotically.

Series Masterlist

Next Part: Part 2

[adobe-outdesign]

Earning NP in 2024: A Quick-Start Guide for New and Old Users

I feel like there’s a lot of people that struggle with making NP nowadays, both due to shifts in what is/isn’t profitable and a lack of clear direction for new players, so I thought I’d put this together to see if it helps anyone. (This was originally written for Reddit, but I figured people over here might find it useful as well.)

IMPORTANT: This guide just tells you what to do, not how things work. I’d recommend looking up more in-depth resources if you would like to understand the specific mechanics.

Also, please note that this guide is just what I’ve found most effective. Feel free to sound off in the comments if you want to add something you think is useful.

Part 1: The Big 8

The Big 8 are the dailies that I’ve found to be incredibly profitable; just doing these each day will earn you tens of millions of NP over a few months, and they’re pretty fast to complete. If you don’t do anything else, do these.

Bank Interest

Click the “collect interest” button.

Always collect your interest before you do anything else���remember, you can’t collect after depositing or withdrawing NP.

Note: Upgrade your account type (at the bottom of the bank page) as you save. This permanently increases your interest rate.

The interest rate does NOT go back down if you dip below the required amount after upgrading.

Shop Till

Technically this is just collecting the money from items you’ve sold, but if you follow this guide you’ll likely have a tidy sum to collect each day :)

The one is listed second because you can jump straight from here to Trudy’s, as the till’s old layout will make the Trudy’s notification appear if it hasn’t already.

Trudy’s Surprise

Click the “play” button.

Do this each day for 25 days to collect a 100K prize.

Note: Trudy’s also gives out Basic Gift Boxes, which are useful for NC trading.

Quest Log

First, check your weekly prize. To do this, click on the slider button to switch from your daily prize to your weekly one. Check the price of the prize.

If you like your weekly prize:

Complete all of your daily quests.

When all daily quests are complete, click on the NP bag to collect your 20K reward.

HIT REFRESH WHEN DONE. The clock at the top-right corner will disappear. This has to be done or the completion may not take.

Repeat for the week, then click on your prize at the end of the week to claim it.

If you do not like your weekly prize and want to change it:

Complete 4/5 of your daily quests (whichever ones are most profitable)

For the last quest, click the red “skip quest” button and confirm.

REFRESH THE PAGE. Once again, this is important.

The next day you should have a new prize. Continue skipping a quest per day until you get an item you like.

If you want to reset your weekly prize but already completed some days:

Follow the steps above. When you return the next day, your progress will be reset but your weekly prize will be the same.

Follow the steps above one more time. When you return the next day, you should have a new weekly prize.

Stock Market

To buy shares:

Go to the bargains page above.

Look in the right-hand column titled “curr” and find a stock with the number 15 (the cheapest you can buy shares at).

Copy the four-letter ticker symbol in the left-hand column labeled “ticker”.

Click on the “buy” link above and enter paste the ticker symbol into the first box, then enter “1000” into the second box (this is the max amount of shares you can buy per day). This will cost you 15K NP.

Repeat daily. Remember to diversify your portfolio (which is a fancy way of saying buy shares for different companies to increase your odds of getting a payout).

After you have bought a stock, go to the “my portfolio” page and look in the “current price” column.

If the number there is greater than 15, you have made a profit.

It is up to you to decide when to sell the stock. Waiting until 40–60 is average, but you can decide your own preferences here.

DO NOT ever sell a stock under 15. The stock market no longer crashes, so a stock that drops down has no choice but to eventually bounce back up.

Note: The stock market is a long-term investment. You may need to wait long periods of time before seeing a profit depending on how often you sell.

Food Club

Unlike other dailies, Food Club rolls over at 2:15 p.m. NST.

At 5:00 p.m. NST, a few Food Club board will automatically go up on this subreddit.

Click on the board and pick a betting table you like from the comments. I highly recommend u/nsheng’s standard or aggressive sets.

Once you have your table, submit your bets. To do this:

Click on “place a bet”.

Start with row 1 of your chosen betting table. On the “place a bet” page, select one pirate from each drop-down menu, then click the far-left checkbox for each.

Enter your betting amount. Your max bet is listed on the “place a bet” page, or you can enter a different amount. MAKE SURE THE AMOUNT IS THE SAME FOR EACH BET.

Hit “place this bet!”. Repeat this process ten times for all ten rows of your chosen betting table.

At 2:15 the next day, click “collect your winnings”, then go back to the “place a bet” page and enter that day’s 10 bets once the betting tables are posted on Reddit.

Note 1: How much you can bet (and by extension, make) depends on your account age, so this may be less useful to new players. It’s free passive NP either way however.

Note 2: There will be days you experience losses with Food Club. On average you will make back much more than what you invest as long as you stick with it, but with that said, make sure you’re only betting amounts you feel comfortable losing.

Battledome

The Battledome is unique in that you have to put some time and money into it to get something out of it, but the rewards are usually pretty high (making 100K+ a day isn’t uncommon).

To get started, you will need to train your pet and get them some weapons.

For training, follow the steps at the bottom of Battlepedia’s “Beginners’ Guide to Training” here.

For weapons, pick a beginner’s set from Battlepedia’s “Beginners’ Weapon Recommendations” here.

Once you have a basic weapon set and some beginner training, you’ll need to pick an opponent. Not all opponents are worth fighting!

/~SeasonalAttackP breaks down the stats, but the shortened version is that you’ll want to fight these opponents in this order, working your way up as you go (for difficulty, chose the hardest level you can manage for each opponent).

For premium users:

For regular users:

The end goal is to get to the point where your pet can 1-shot your chosen opponent with a single weapon without taking damage (this allows for the fastest dailies run possible). To do this:

Train your pet up to level 50 and give them the lens flare ability. This prevents opponents from attacking.

Give your pet a powerful bomb-type weapon. I recommend Varia is the Bomb, which currently goes for 3–5 mil and does 25 icons.

Train up your pet’s strength. How high your strength needs to be for a one-shot depends on what opponent you’re focusing on and if you’re using one or two weapons; you can use Battlepedia’s damage calculator here to get an idea.

You can earn up to 15 items a day; how many items you get per battle is random. DO NOT stop battling until the “You have reached the item limit for today! You can continue to fight, but no more items can be earned” message pops up.

(Note: You can continue to earn items after the “You have reached the NP limit for today” message pops up. It’s only when the item message appears that you can’t earn anything more.)

Stock Your Shop

Do this last so you can price any items you obtained from the previous 7 dailies.

Try to do this once per day, which will prevent massive backlogs of unpriced items taking up space in your shop.

Note: If you already have a backlog, you can use Jellyneo’s shop price checker to get an idea of how to price things—but use caution and double-check prices when appropriate, as the checker may not always be accurate.

Part 2: Optional Dailies

These won’t make you nearly as many NPs as the above, but if you’re in a hurry to earn NP these are useful additions. All of these have been vetted as low/no risk with either a decent daily reward or a slim chance at a very large reward.

Daily Puzzle (Note: Answers are posted on Jellyneo)

Rich Slorg

Anchor Management

Forgotten Shore (Note: You need all 9 map pieces for access; just buy them on the SW, as they’re dirt cheap)

Coltzan's Shrine

Deserted Tomb

Grave Danger (Note: Need a petpet attached to one of your pets for this one)

Fruit Machine

The Discarded Magical Blue Grundo Plushie of Prosperity

Tombola

Mysterious Negg Cave (Note: This one has a little puzzle to solve)

Faerie Caverns

Wishing Well (Note: Place 7 wishes @ 22 NP every 12 hours; you can use the recent winner’s list to get an idea of expensive items you can wish for)

Buried Treasure

Ye Olde Fishing Vortex

Part 3: Assorted Tips

Make sure to place any large amounts of NP into the bank immediately to protect yourself from random events. (I recommend keeping around 30K–50K on hand.)

Likewise, put any expensive items in your SDB or shop immediately.

It’s easier to make NP if you have NP. Try to save past your goals before making a large purchase so you have a “cushion” left over—it will save you a lot of time in the future.

Restocking used to be a good way to make NP, but currently bots snatch up all the valuable items. You can do it on the side and make a small profit by focusing on less profitable items, but it’s generally a time-intensive low-profit option.

Likewise, (traditional) games are a huge time sink with almost no profits (only 3K/game). Don’t bother unless you just want to play for fun.

For older players: You can use Jellyneo’s SDB Price Checker to find expensive items in your SDB to sell. Remember to double-check the prices on the SW/TP before selling!

Also for older players: Don’t forgot to check for unneeded Battledome weapons, old TCG cards, Neohome items, NeoDeck cards, and unused plot points.

It’s generally a good idea to sit on items from plots/events for a little while before selling—the price usually goes up over time (don’t wait too long though or it might be re-released!).

Always participate in plots and events when possible. Not only are they engaging, but the prizes are usually worth a decent amount.

And most importantly, remember to have fun!

[vintageneptune92]

Burn the Shadow- 16

Here you go!!

"Absolutely not!" Grayson was incredulous. Gia was sitting at the counter with her head in her hands.

"Grayson, listen to me, please. Your daughter misses her mother. She is begging to see her. I don't know if it will do more harm or good, but we have to try. At the end of the day, regardless of how Sienna is involved in this, Isaac Moreno paid someone millions to take out his wife and he’s trying to blame it on Sienna. He cannot get away with it. I have Calhoun on my side. She’s willing to let me go in to try and convince Sienna to tell us. But she’s not going to give it up without getting something. And Anna? She needs to see her mother. She needs to see that she is in some semblance of okay. All she keeps remembering is Olivia ripping her out of Sienna’s arms. Let’s reset her last memory.” Gia was literally begging. She wished she had taken Olivia up on coming with her, she was so good at this.

"This isn't about Anna, it's about solving your case!" Gia jumped off her chair.

"It's not even MY case first of all! Second of all, do you really think I would put that little girl at risk just for a case? I would never. I'm also not going to lie to you and pretend like it won't help in pushing her to talk. Eventually, a judge will grant her supervised visits. It will make YOU look better if you are willing to play ball. I will take her. Her lawyer Rita Calhoun will be there too. Nothing is going to happen to her. Grayson, Isaac Moreno is dangerous. He was willing to kill his wife so he could run away with yours. What if he comes after you now?" A look of alarm crossed Grayson's face.

"What if he comes after you?" He walked over to the couch and sat down. Gia walked over and sat down next to her brother.

"Gray, he's not going to lay a finger on me." Grayson glanced to the side to look at her.

"Look at the way he behaved in the hospital with people around. You're the one that caught him and Sienna. He absolutely could come for you too. God this is so fucked."

"I know, Gray. You need to listen to me. I will be fine. First of all he would be an idiot to come after me now. He was trying to intimidate me to get me to back off of the investigation. We were in the middle of a hospital, he wanted to scare me. I'm also not dumb, I already clocked the danger on Moreno. He was just more ballsy than I thought” Gia conceded. She'd be lying if she wasn't watching her back a little more diligently. "I'm a detective. I'm trained for this, and I have a hell of a team watching my back. I will be fine."

"She gives you information first and then she can see her. I want that man off the streets." Gia put her hand on Grayson's shoulder.

"Thank you, Gray. I'm not crazy about this either. But Anna will be safe, I will always protect that child with my life. I trust Rita Calhoun and I can have Trevor there too." He nodded.

"Gianna, I trust you. I'm sorry for suggesting you were just using her. I feel like I'm loosing my mind." Gia squeezed his hand to offer him some reassurance.

"Don't. It's forgotten. I cannot tell you the number of times I have felt completely insane since Ali and I were attacked. I'm going to go see Rafael and call Rita and let her know it’s a go. I'll keep you updated, okay?" As Gia stood up to head towards the door, Grayson stopped her and pulled her into a tight hug. She wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him back just as tightly.

"Thank you, for taking care of Anna and I know seeing mom is hard for you, but you're amazing. I never noticed her bating you until the other day. I promise, when all of this is over, she and I are going to have a real conversation." A week ago, Gia would have given anything to hear that from him. Now? She didn't care. Having Rafael jump to her defense like that, having someone in her life that really saw her, Giulia Monroe didn't have as much of an effect.

"Grayson, don't worry about any of that. I'll let you know what's going on soon. Try not to worry too much, okay? I’m glad Anna is doing well with the new Nanny and her son. When she gets back from the park tell her I’ll call her later?" He nodded, walking her to the door.

"I will try not to worry, but I make no promises. Please just watch your back If anything happens to you..."

“Grayson, I promise you, you don’t have to worry about me. I wouldn’t make that promise if it wasn’t true.” He nodded.

“I’ll talk to you later tonight when you call Anna, if not before.”

“This should go without saying but if anything pops up, just call me. If I can’t get here right away, Nick is on standby.” He nodded and she headed out the door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gia was surprised to see Carmen's desk empty and Rafael's door was opened. Gia crossed her arms in front of her and leaned against the door way. Rafael had his feet propped up on his desk, reading the news paper. She took the opportunity to take him in for a few moments.

"Busy day?" He jumped slightly, dropping the paper. It gave Gia some satisfaction seeing as how he scared her all the time.

"What are you doing here? I wasn't expecting you until later?" He smiled, happy to see her sooner than expected. That look on his face, any time he was surprised to see her made her happy she had a photographic memory. He took his feet down and stood up. He walked over to shut his office door and then kissed her lightly. She inhaled deeply, hoping the scent of his cologne would calm her.

"I talked Grayson into letting Sienna see Anna." He had expected Gia to be happier about it.

"That's good news right?" By the look on her face he wasn't so sure.

"Yes, no? I don't know." He led Gia over to the couch to sit down.

"What's going on in that head of yours?" He brushed her hair over her shoulder. She let out a heavy sigh.

"Am I selling my niece out to get a conviction?" She had to say it out loud. Grayson may not have meant what he said, but she couldn't unhear it.

"What? Of course not, Amor. Your niece misses her mother first and foremost. She’s having nightmares of Liv pulling her from her arms. Maybe seeing her and leaving in a more positive way will help.” Gia laughed. He gave her a look of confusion.

“I am running off on you with my ability to psychoanalyze because I literally just said almost the same exact thing to Grayson. Like word for word. You, Rafael Barba are an excellent student.” She saw a smirk cross his face.

“You want to take me to school Detective?” She licked her lips and she closed her eyes and laughed.

“Shelve that Counselor, because I’d love nothing more.” He was happy he was able to lighten the moment for her.

“Listen, Sienna may be a lot of things, but I can't see her doing anything right now to jeopardize being able to see her daughter. The fact that this is going to be happening this soon? Trust me, Rita is going to make sure she is grateful. Rita does not want Sienna going down for Isaac Moreno.” Gia looked thoughtful for a moment.

"She won’t? She was willing to kidnap her own daughter, Raf. What if she does something stupid? What if she causes more harm than good? What if it traumatizes Anna even more?"

"Cariña, look at me." She lifted her head slightly, and turned her head to look at him. "Come here." He put his arm around her and pulled her closer to him. She turned towards him more, resting her head on his shoulder. He kissed her forehead. "You won't know how it will affect Anna until she sees her mother. The one thing I do know is that you would never put that little girl at risk just for a case. The fact that you will be in that room means that this has the best chance of being successful." He ran his hand over her hair. He hated this for her.

"I think I'm just afraid that seeing Sienna is going to set Anna off. She's having such a hard time already. And Sienna? She's a wild card right now." She closed her eyes, focusing on the feeling of his hand in her hair.

"Well you won't be alone. I will speak with Rita, once Sienna gives us some information, only then will we set up the visit. Liv and I are going to question her today. You can listen in, if it makes you feel better. If you aren't happy with how it goes, or with how Sienna's state of mind is, we pull the plug on the visit okay?"

"Yeah, okay." He kissed her forehead one more time.

"Let me walk you back to the precinct."

"I don't need an escort." She sat up, rolling her eyes.

"I know that you don't need one. I want to walk you back, just a little more time with you. Carmen is off today. We can stop and get some good coffee." Gia laughed, Rafael was happy to hear a genuine laugh from her.

"Using me for a coffee fix?" He put his hand on the side of her face and kissed her one more time, It lingered a bit longer than the first one, causing her to hum against his lips, resting her hands on his chest. "I should come by more when Carmen isn't here" she rested her forehead against his.

"C'mon Amor, before we get ourselves into trouble." Before he could take her hand, there was a knock at his door. Gia went and took a seat at a chair from across his desk. She didn't know who was on the other side of the door and didn't want any side eye glances.

"Rafael, where is Carmen?" Gia recognized Jack McCoy's voice immediately and she sat up a little straighter.

"She’s off today." Rafael stepped aside so his boss could walk into his office.

"Ah, Detective Monroe, wonderful to see you. I heard you were in the building and I was hoping to catch you." Gia smiled.

"You almost missed me. I was just about to head out. He needs a good coffee fix." She nodded her head towards Rafael. He looked between the two.

"So, you're aiding and abetting his serious caffeine addiction. I was curious if you had convinced your brother to let his wife have a visit with their daughter? It was an excellent idea, I was impressed when he told me you suggested it. I'd really like to be able to move on this Isaac Moreno and get him off the streets, but I understand it is a delicate situation." Rafael walked over to his chair to sit down.

"I actually came here to let Rafael know I did get him to agree. I came here from his apartment. He does have some conditions." Jack nodded his head.

"Enlighten me." He took a seat next to Gia. If she was feeling anxious, Rafael admired that she was able to hide it.

"He wants to make sure that she actually provides information that is helpful and truthful. I also told him that I would take my niece and Rita Calhoun will be there as well. I did offer that his attorney could be there as well as a representative for him." Jack mused over what she said.

"That was a smart thing to offer, additional reassurance. You're willing to put yourself in the middle of this?" He raised his eyebrows at her.

"Truthfully Jack, I'd rather walk across a floor covered in Legos barefoot." Jack McCoy barked out a laugh. Rafael silently chuckled. He knew Jack liked her, before they had gotten together Jack had mentioned how smart she was. He had given him similar advice to what Amaro had said to him about not messing things up with Gia.

"Then tell me, Gia, why are you doing it?" The titles had officially dropped, it surprised Rafael how comfortable Gia was with Jack McCoy.

"I'm doing it for my niece. It will feel familiar if I take her. This has been very hard on her. Having someone she doesn't know take her will make it harder. I need to see for myself if the visits will help her or upset her. That little girl's well being is my top priority right now. This level of a trauma for a four year old can have long lasting damage." Jack nodded his head. He studied Gia for a moment.

"I must say, Gia Monroe, you live up to the hype. So tell me, when are you going to stop playing Detective and come work for me?" Her eyebrows knitted together.

"What...what do you mean?" Rafael set his elbows on the desk, leaning forward slightly. He had no idea where this was going. Jack had never mentioned getting Gia to work for the DA’s office.

"I want you to come work as an investigator for the District Attorney's office. Your talent isn't being used to its full potential. You could work on a large variety of investigations, not just SVU crimes. You would be a huge asset when it came to cases that need psychological evaluations. No more chasing criminals in public. You would be more focused on what you're best at." Gia had to admit, it was intriguing. She cleared her throat.

"The conflict of interest wouldn't worry you?" Jack gave her a questioning look, taking him a moment to figure out what she meant.

"Ah, you mean the two of you?" He pointed between the two of them. "Actually, I think the optics would be better, you wouldn't be working exclusively with Rafael." Gia crossed her legs, thinking for a moment. Rafael had no idea what she was thinking. He couldn't read the expression on her face. He only knew that she was really thinking about it.

"It's definitely something to consider. Though I'm not quite sure I'm ready to leave SVU just yet." Jack gave her a smile and stood up.

"Well, it's an open offer. You let me know when you're ready to take me up on it. I'll let the two of you get back to it." He paused at the door and turned back to them. "If you don't mind me saying, he's different because of you. Still just as dedicated, just as good, but it's nice to not see his light on late every night." He shut the door behind him on his way out.

"That was...unexpected." She relaxed slightly. Rafael gave her a soft smile.

"It's not. He likes you, he always has. He's probably been waiting for the chance to make that offer. It's a good offer, more money. He couldn't deny the idea of her being in the same building wasn't appealing.

"I just...I'm not done with SVU yet. I came here to heal something inside of me. I'm not there yet." He nodded, he had suspected it was something like that.

"I will support you in whatever you want to do Amor.” She reached out and took his hand.

"C'mon, let's go get that coffee and you can walk me back to the precinct."

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Gia was getting impatient with herself. She knew this multi-jurisdictional case was a test. They wanted to see if she could piece this together and play nicely with the other precincts involved. She also had connections in New England through her father. For the life of her, she could not figure out the pattern or the connection between the girls being taken other than the fact that they were young and blonde. They vanished without a trace of evidence. These girls families deserved answers. Gia desperately wanted to give them closure. Gia dropped her pen on her desk and closed her eyes as she rubbed her temples.

"That bad, Detective?" Gia could hear the grin in Trevor Langdon's voice.

"Well Counselor, it's not great. What are you doing here?" She has spun her chair around to face him.

"I wanted to listen in on what Sienna Monroe has to say, so I can prepare your brother and be informed to advocate for your niece. He asked me to be here." Gia nodded, it made her feel better knowing she would have an impartial opinion on Sienna.

"I can't thank you enough for doing this. My brother needed someone that would fight for the two of them. It's hard because I can't really be involved in the case, but I can't not be either." Gia looked past Trevor and saw Sienna walking in behind Liv and Rita. Gia stood up and watched as Olivia led the two women into an interrogation room. Rita nodded cordially to both Gia and Langdon. Sienna had a pleading look on her face as she stared at Gia. Gia turned her head away, clenching her jaw, which didn't go unnoticed by Langdon.

"Are you okay Gia?" He asked in a low voice, dropping all professionalism for the moment. She shook her head no.

"She tried to kidnap my niece. She told another man that Anna belonged to him. She was going to take that little girl away from the only family she has ever known because she's selfish. Then she has the nerve to walk in here expecting me to be on her side?" He put his hands on her shoulders.

"Listen to me, I am here for your niece and your brother to make sure their interests are protected. To make sure that she doesn't do anything that will harm that little girl. I understand your anger, but I promise you, she will not have the chance to even think about taking that little girl away again. I'm here to protect your interests too. One way or another this is going to trial and if you need someone advocating for you, I've got your back." Gia nodded, her lower lip clasped underneath her teeth.

Rafael walked into the precinct and his eyes immediately fell on Trevor Langdon with his hands on Gia's shoulders. He could tell something was off, but the idea of another man comforting her like that made his insides churn just a little bit. She had never really talked about him before, but they were clearly friendly. That feeling went away immediately when Gia realized he had walked in and her face lit up. She stepped away from Trevor Langdon to meet him half way. When she reached him, he put his hand on her elbow and studied her face.

"It's all going to be okay." He reassured her. "Amaro is on his way in so he can listen in with you."

"Okay. Liv is already in there with Rita and Sienna." That was why Gia looked so tense. "Trevor is here to represent my brother to make sure Sienna fills her end of the bargain." Rafael looked over at him.

"Not really necessary counselor." His tone was dry, annoyed even. Trevor smiled.

"It is, to Mr. Monroe." Rafael rolled his eyes. Gia's word should have been enough for Grayson. He bit back the comment he wanted to make about too many cooks.

"Let's get this done, so I can talk to Grayson about it. The sooner we get this figured out, the sooner he and Anna can find a way to move forward."

"OR...you can let his lawyer fill him in and you and I will go get a meal that doesn't come in a take out container and doesn't involve a screaming four year old. After all, that's why he's here isn't it?" Gia raised an eyebrow and strained to hold back a smile, her nostrils flaring. They had decided not to hide their relationship, but they also didn't intend on making it a topic of conversation either. That rule seemed to be fast and loose lately, especially now because he seemed jealous.

"Okay, Counselor, you win." She said with a little laugh. Langdon stood back, amused.

"If it gets to be too much, just walk away, okay?" He squeezed her elbow lightly, a look of seriousness on his face.

"Raf, I'll be fine..." he stopped her mid-protest.

"Promise me." He was serious and it made a flutter of anxiety explode in her stomach. "Don't let what she has to say hurt you." He urged.

"I promise." He studied her face for a moment deciding if she was placating him or serious. He must have believed her because as soon as he saw Nick walk into the precinct, he kissed her on the cheek and headed towards interrogation. She saw Langdon smirk out of the corner of her eye.

"Why is your face so red?" Nick asked with a furrowed brow.

"I think the ADA was uh, staking his claim." Langdon teased. Gia gave him a dirty look.

"Shut up." Nick looked between the two of them and shook his head.

"I don't even want to know. C'mon Gee." He led her to the two way glass so they could listen in. Rafael was again going over what the deal was when they approached the glass. When Sienna was ready, Liv turned on the camera.

"So, Sienna, why don't we start from the beginning. Where did you meet Isaac Moreno?" Sienna and Gia swallowed at the same time. Gia had always seen her as an ally. She was the one person that was always on her side when it came to her mother.

Gia didn't want to let the pain of that betrayal in. She had finally moved past the pain of Alison, or at least the searing pain. There was a dull ache within her that she didn't think would ever leave her. That's the thing about love, it lived on through grief. She felt Nick take her hand in his to offer silent support. She loved Rafael. Rafael had been her salvation. Nick, he was what kept her steady before Rafael came along. She knew she was the same for him. Maybe it was because they were both emotional and impulsive. She often saw her own anger simmering In Nick's eyes. That was how they knew exactly how to steady each other, unless of course, they were mad at each other.

"It was five years ago. Grayson and I were having a hard time. We had been trying to get pregnant. He was adamant about giving his mother a grandchild, more specifically, a grandson. That was what she wanted more than anything. Another little Grayson running around. Everything was tense and cold between us. Everything felt clinical. I felt like a broken incubator. I was failing at my singular purpose." Gia felt stunned. She has known that trying to get pregnant had been rough on the two of them. The stress of it would affect any marriage. She had a hard time imagining Grayson being so cold; but at the same time, Gia knew she saw him through rose colored glasses.

She wished Sienna would have confided in her. Gia knew her brother, how singular focused he could be. She could have been her ally and gotten him to realize he was being an asshole. He wasn't perfect, but he was a good man. He had loved Sienna, so much so that he ignored their mother's protests of their relationship. Maybe if Gia had paid better attention at the time, she would have caught that there was a deeper issue. Maybe she could have prevented all of this. She immediately halted that train of thought like her therapist had taught her. It wasn't her job to take care of everyone. She wasn't responsible for their actions. It in was a hard habit to break.

"I was out to lunch, alone and upset after another doctor's appointment with bad news. I felt as empty and hollow as my womb. I was devastated. It was supposed to be a celebratory lunch. When there was nothing to celebrate, Grayson left me and went back to work." Gia felt a wave of angst. As angry as she was at Sienna, that made her feel something deep inside for her. Gia had felt an emptiness within her for a very long time. It wasn't until she started at SVU and she let Nick in and then Olivia and then, Rafael. He filled that void within her. Not because she was lacking without him, but he helped her open up her once closed off heart.

"Isaac saw me and said a woman so beautiful shouldn't be so sad or eating alone, so I let him join me. It felt so nice to be seen as a woman and not a failure. Then, it turned into a regular weekly lunch and little by little we grew closer. Before I knew it, I was living two separate lives. One where I was going through the motions robotically and another where I felt so free." Gia hated that she empathized with Sienna so much in that moment. She knew the exact feeling of freedom she was describing.

"All of the sudden, I was pregnant. That's why I was so convinced she was Isaac's. I thought maybe Grayson just couldn't have children. Then the disappointment from his mother that it was a girl and not a boy, it was like she blamed me. I wanted to leave Grayson to be with Isaac. I wanted to feel like I was worth something more. Isaac wanted the same thing, but his daughter was only a baby. He wouldn't walk away from her, which I certainly understood. He needed to find a way to get custody of his daughter. He didn't want her raised without him." Rafael scoffed. Gia knew he couldn't help it. He had likely been bursting at the seems.

"It didn't make you wonder that he wasn't willing to leave his first daughter with her mother, but was okay with another man raising the daughter he thought the two of you had together?" Sienna paled.

"Counselor, was that really necessary?" Rita chastised Rafael.

"I'm trying to open her eyes up to the man that she thinks is so wonderful. Who is willing to pin his wife's death on her." Gia could hear the frustration in his voice and she understood it.

"His wife was unstable! He was collecting evidence so he could make sure his daughter was safe. We lived a double life. Grayson worked so much, it was easy. By then, things with Grayson had improved and he had fallen in love with Anna. I found myself in love with two men." Sienna wiped a few tears from her face and Gia felt a simmering of rage building in her again. She actually believed that Isaac's wife was so unstable but it took him five years to be able to prove it? It was then that Gia realized Sienna had no idea who Isaac Moreno really was.

"Nick, go tell Liv to show her the footage of Isaac beating Sara. She has no idea. She thinks he's this fairytale prince." He nodded and walked into the interrogation room and whispered in Liv's ear. She nodded and whispered something back and Nick walked out.

"She will, just not yet. She doesn't want her to shut down." Gia nodded her head. She knew Liv knew what she was doing. Not being in that room was driving Gia crazy. She wanted to be the one asking the questions and demanding answers.

"So, the two of you were living a double life. What changed? What made you decide you had to leave with the girls?" Rafael pushed. Sienna sniffed.

"Isaac found out that Sara was going to take their daughter away. He told me that I had to make a choice. I thought he was the only choice. I was convinced he was Anna's father. We decided that a clean break would be best. We were going to start over. I was going to leave Grayson divorce papers and a letter that Anna wasn't his, explaining everything." Gia clenched her fist. She really thought that a letter was enough? That she could just rip that child away from all of them? Did she honestly think Gia wouldn't hunt her to the ends of the earth? She has just said that she was in love with both men. Leaving like that would gave destroyed Grayson, and you don't destroy someone you love. Gia tried to pathetically send that question to Rafael through sheer will.

"So when did the conversation change that Sara needed to die? And why did she need to die but not Grayson? Liv interjected, bluntly. Sienna's eyes went wide. Gia didn't think it was possible for her to get any paler than she already was.

"That conversation never happened. Isaac would never hurt Sara like that. It was, it was a coincidence. But I would have never agreed to that! That poor woman was brutalized. Isaac could never. He loved Sara, but she was a liability to their daughter and like me, he felt alone. Gia closed her eyes, Sienna's naivety was the real liability. It showed what a master manipulator Isaac Moreno was. Sienna was smart, Gia never would have expected her to be snowed like that.

"Sienna, I'm going to show you something that is going to be incredibly upsetting." Gia reopened her eyes and watched the horror overtake Sienna's face. Her eyes widened, she covered her mouth in horror. Every time a blow came down on Sara Moreno, Sienna flinched. She was sobbing and shaking uncontrollably. Gia knew that feeling too. The feeling of being so incredibly wrong about someone. She had felt that when she realized what Gabriel really was and how he mentally tortured her for years. Gia stepped back so she could lean against the wall to hold herself up.

Gia went rigid and she felt her entire body go ice cold, yet she felt like there was lava pumping through her veins. She was back in that snippet of a memory. She was cowering in a corner, knees to her chest, he hands covering her ears trying to block him out. Gabriel's face filled with rage, this time, she heard him screaming at her for being pathetic and useless. Something about how she never should have been chosen. She could almost feel his hot breath on her face. She could feel her chest tightening in fear.

"GIA!" She startled and her eyes shot open. She hadn't realized she had slid to the floor. Nick and Trevor were both squatting infront of her, concerned laced in their features. "What the hell just happened?" Nick helped pull her up.

"This is, it's just too much Nick. I can't listen to this anymore. I need some air, and some time alone to clear my head. Can you stay here for me?" He looked at her like she had seven heads.

"I'm not letting you leave on your own after that. You completely zoned out." She put her hand on his forearm.

"Nick, I'm overwhelmed, this is all too much. That, her...it's too much. I need you here because I trust you to tell me what else happens. Rafael? He will try to downplay it so I don't get worked up. You won't. I promise I'm okay. Tell Rafael to meet me at our spot in the park when this is done." Nick's concern melted a little and a smug smile pulled at his lips.

"You...you guys have a spot in the park?" She hit him in the shoulder.

"Shut up." He took her chin in his hand and studied her face. She willed him to see the wall of calm she was trying to front. In reality, she was freaking out, but she needed to do it alone. She felt like her brain was buzzing.

"Okay. Just..." she cut him off.

"I know, I know. Be careful." Gia hugged him, thanked Trevor and quickly rushed to her desk to grab her bag before anyone else saw her. On her way out the door, she reached into her bag and grabbed the bottle of anti-anxiety medication. There was no way she was staving this one off on her own.

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The Xanax was not enough. Gia didn't dare take a second one. Instead, she found herself doing something she hadn't done since the stress of getting her PhD, she was chain smoking a pack of menthol cigarettes. The prospect of lung cancer was worth the calming effects of the nicotine at that moment. The imagine of her brother screaming at her was playing on repeat in her mind.

The video of Isaac Moreno screaming must have triggered the flashback. Beyond that snippet, she could not recall the full memory. She didn't think it was possible for someone with a photographic memory to block things out. She had learned to push them out, but this was different. She was having a hard time imagining anything else in her childhood being so traumatic that her subconscious was protecting her from it. She had been through a metric ton of trauma. She couldn't imagine there was something so bad lingering that she couldn't handle. Was that the only memory she was blocking out. Were there worse horrors in her past that no one talked about? She felt like she was loosing her mind.

When she left the precinct she had walked and walked and walked, waiting for the Xanax to calm her nerves. When it barely scratched the surface she walked into a bodega and bought the cigarettes a lighter and a pack of gum. She fully intended to be done by the time Rafael was ready to meet her. She had confirmed to Nick that she was fine and that they could talk later about the rest of Sienna's interview.

She found the bench where she sat waiting for Rafael that first time they went for breakfast. They had unconsciously found themselves there many times. Gia loved going for walks in the park and this place had become their little habit. She closed her eyes and took a long drag of her cigarette.

"Are you smoking?!" Rafael's voice startled her out of her own thoughts.

"Shit." Her body slumped.

"I've been texting you for over a half an hour. I thought something happened to you." She yelped in protest as he took the cigarette from her hand, walked it over to the tall metal ashtray in the park and threw it out.

"Hey! I wasn't done with that." Sometimes, the urge to throttle her almost outweighed how much he loved her.

"Seriously? What the hell is going on? And please don't try to lie to me like you lied to Nick. The fact that he even believed you blows my mind. Why didn't you answer my messages?" She rolled her eyes.

"My phone is literally in my bag. I didn't hear it go off. It's not like I went missing for hours. I'm literally where I said I would be." She watched as he closed his eyes and inhaled through his nose in exasperation.

"Gia, with everything that's been going on, I worried." It was her turn to feel exasperated.

"You have got to stop treating me like I'm a child. I have lived in this city since I was 16 years old. I am more than capable of taking care of myself." She crossed her arms, irritated. The only time she had been attacked in the city was in her own apartment.

"I'm sorry, but you ran out after having a PTSD episode. I'm going to worry." Her eyebrows knitted together.

"I didn't-" he sat down next to her and turned to face her.

"Do you really think I don't know when you're experiencing PTSD? I've watched as you close your eyes and everything around you fades away. The way your hand almost always finds its way to your neck and the way it trembles. The way your ears block out the sound of my voice. The way you look haunted when your eyes finally snap back open and you're back with me. When Nick described what happened, I knew. Amor, I know you." Gia blinked rapidly as she looked away, uncrossing her arms and letting them drop to her sides.

There was something about letting him in so deeply that was almost unsettling. There were no secrets between them, even when she desperately wanted to grasp on to one. Her self-preservation tactics were useless against him. She had never been so vulnerable before. Then she felt his thumb tracing the tattoo on her wrist. She had stopped covering it at work, mostly because she knew he loved it. She closed her eyes for a moment letting the feeling ground her, reminding her that she was safe with him. That her instinct to retreat was never necessary with him. She opened her eyes, but she didn't look back at him yet. She stared off into the distance.

"It was the uh, the video of Isaac beating Sara. More his yelling. It brought me back to that snippet of a memory of Gabe. Where I'm cowering in the corner and he's screaming at me. I had to get out of there. I felt an anxiety attack coming on." He gently turned her face to make her look at him.

"I hate that he still has a hold on you." She found comfort in the concern glowing from his green eyes.

"Me too." She said in a small voice. "I am sorry I am so hard to love." Her voice cracked slightly.

"What?" His voice was equally soft. "Listen to me, loving you is the easiest thing I've ever done in my life. You are more than the trauma you've been forced to carry. You are...everything to me. It kills me that I can't ease this for you. I love you and everything you bring with you. You do keep me on my toes." She laughed lightly and smiled.

"I love you too, Raf. It's just hard not to fall back into old habits of keeping people at arms length." He leaned in and kissed her temple. They sat silently for a few moments until he saw a smirk pulling at her mouth.

"What's that look?" He finally asked.

"You were jealous today." He narrowed his eyes at her.

"You never told me you were such good friends with Trevor Langdon." She was biting back a full grin.

"Well, you never asked." She shrugged, probably enjoying this moment a little too much. His face was mutinous. "We became friends before you and I started. We're not close, just friendly. He's a good guy."

"And why did he owe you a favor?"

"Well, again, before you and I were you and I, he had this really important firm dinner. He had just broken up with a woman that he worked with and he didn't want to go alone. She was kind of a bitch, so I was more than happy to help him out with the caveat that he owed me a favor. It was oddly satisfying making her jealous. Maybe because he’s so nice and she’s a frigid bitch." His head ticked to the side.

"So you went on a date with him." Gia audibly laughed.

"That is all that you heard? It was not a real date. I have never had even an inkling of a feeling for him. He's just a decent guy." Rafael nodded. He didn't realize just how jealous he felt until she mentioned going out with him. Not that he had any right to question her on anyone she actually dated before they were together, but seeing his hands on her shoulders like that bugged him.

"Just wondering..." he finally said.

"I must say counselor, I didn't expect green to be such a nice shade on you." He watched as she licked the center of her lips slightly.

"I envy any man that has ever held your attention." He ran his thumb over her bottom lip. Just the way he was looking at her made her mouth go dry and the air go out of her lungs.

"I really want to kiss you right now but I probably taste like an ashtray." He leaned in.

"I don't care." Then, he was kissing her and she felt her mind clear, all she could think about was him.

"Let's go home. I'll take you out tomorrow instead." All she could do was nod her head and follow him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rafael shut the bedroom door leaving a sleeping Gia in peace. She had insisted on showering when they got home. He could tell she felt ashamed that he caught her smoking. He just saw her flaws as endearing, though he was worried about the level of stress she was under and her level of anxiety. He knew she had actually been using her anti-anxiety medication when she was off duty. He didn't say anything, but he knew it was bad if she was willingly taking it on regular basis.

He had ran out to grab some sandwiches for dinner, she had said she wasn't hungry. When he had gotten back, the shower was empty. He had found her asleep on their bed, wrapped in her towel. He had woken her up enough to get a t-shirt on her. He had sat on the edge of the bed watching her sleep until his phone had gone off. Liv and Amaro were on their way over. He had kissed her cheek and smoothed her hair over before leaving the room.

He took the familiar spot looking out the window Gia did when she was thinking. He took a sip of his scotch and headed towards the door when he heard the light knock, setting his drink on the coffee table.

"Hey counselor." Nick greeted when Rafael opened the door. He stepped aside, letting the two of them into the apartment.

"Where's Gia?" Nick asked, looking around.

"She's sleeping." Nick whipped around.

"Sleeping, it's like 8pm?" Rafael walked over and sat down on the couch.

"She wasn't exactly okay when she left earlier." Liv sat down next to him.

"Rafa, what do you mean?" He didn't want to betray Gia's confidence, if she hadn't told either of them about the flashes, the PTSD, he wouldn't give him the full story.

"The whole thing with Sienna, it was, it hit her harder than she anticipated." Nick was standing with his hands on his hips.

"No, it was more than that. I knew it, I knew she wasn't okay and I let her walk out the door. There is something more going on with her." Rafael shook his head."

"She's an adult Amaro, she kindly reminded me of that earlier. What were you going to do? Put her in holding? Handcuffed yourself to her? I just know her tells. She needed space with her own thoughts. You should know her well enough to know that once her mind is made up, you aren't changing it. Ever since the attack she has felt like we no longer see her as an equal, which isn't true. It's just the innate urge to protect her. We can't suffocate her, and I think that is how she feels. " Rafael sighed heavily. He felt like he didn't know what the right thing to do for her was.

"Don't you question how well I know her. She and I have been close since before the start of your relationship. Back when you were a royal asshole to her. You sharing a bed with her doesn't mean you know her more than I do. She and I, we are best friends, we have a bond." Rafael rolled his eyes. He knew the two of them were close, but he was really trying to compare what he and Gia had to their friendship. It was almost laughable.

“I’m not questioning how well you know her. That’s not even close to what I said.” He wasn’t in the mood to go head to head with Amaro.

"Amaro, what is your problem?" Olivia seemed shocked at the outburst. She was hoping to defuse the situation.

"I was apart of her life before him and I'll be apart of her life after him too." Rafael stood up, he had reached his limit. For Amaro to suggest that he was merely temporary was unacceptable.

"Enough!" Gia's voice rang out from the doorway into the living room. "Thanks, by the way, for waking me up with your loud ass mouth." Gia had thrown a pair of shorts on and a oversized hoodie over the t-shirt Rafael had coaxed her into.

"Nick, I don't know what this territorial BS is, but how dare you come into OUR home and speak to him like that, number one. Number two, there is no after him. You are my best friend, but you are way out of line. He knows parts of me that you won't ever know. Just like I'm sure there are parts of you that Maria knows that I will never know. We are intimate, and not just in the sexual relationship way. I can't talk to you about everything, especially when you act like this. I'm not a child. I don't need your permission to leave the precinct or anywhere else on my own. I appreciate your concern, more than you know. But this it too much. You both act like there is a danger around every corner in this city that is just targeting me. When I ended up in the hospital, I KNEW what I was walking into. It was my choice. Please stop acting like I'm this helpless damsel that needs to be constantly saved. Let me remind you that in that instant, I saved myself. Let me also remind you of what I I reminded Rafael of. I have lived in this city since I was 16 years old. I’m pretty good at taking care of myself. Yes, I have PTSD, I've had a life times worth of trauma. I have triggers and I am managing them. Everyone wants to give me 'what I need'? What I need is space to feel whatever it is I'm feeling and deal with it how I see fit. I don't need a room full of saviors." It wasn't often that Nick was speechless. He knew he had crossed a line.

"You...you're right, I'm sorry." He conceded. "I guess I..." Gia held her hand up.

"Honestly, I'm done listening to how what I've been through or how I feel is affecting others." Nick flinched a little. Olivia remained silent. She had warned Nick that he needed to back off a bit, but he was stubborn.

The three remained silent as Gia disappeared into the kitchen and then came out with a glass of wine. She sat down in the chair across from Nick and crossed her legs.

"So why are you guys here?" Rafael kept his eyes on her. He could tell she was agitated and it wasn't just because of what Amaro said. She was emotionally exhausted and tired of being treated like she was made of glass. That was partly his fault. He knew Liv could see she was out of sorts, but she wouldn't say anything. She would let Gia come to her if she needed to talk. Both he and Nick had to get better at that. Rafael found the urge to want to protect her from everything; she had been through enough already.

"After you left, Sienna started naming names. We think we have the man who was paid to attack Sara Moreno. We have some digging to do, but we'll get him and Moreno." Olivia spoke, thinking it was best to keep Nick silent for the time being.

"Okay, so that couldn't have been a text or a phone call?" Rafael didn't understand what the big deal was.

"We wanted to tell Gia in person, Sienna has been approved to have supervised visits. Grayson requested that your mother bring her." Gia's eyes went wide with incredulity.

"Sienna and Rita fought it, but Langdon said that the visit was being allowed by Grayson's terms." Gia's forehead was in her hands.

"Why? Why the hell would he do that?" Gia had thought they had turned the corner when he finally acknowledged how their mother treated her.

"Langdon said that Grayson didn't want to make you do it. That it wasn't fair to you. He knows you and Sienna were close. He thought it would be hard for you." Gia scoffed.

"That's a lie. He's doing it to punish Sienna. My mother hates her and Sienna has never been able to stand up to her. I'm the best choice to make it more comfortable for Anna."

"He's hurting Gia. He loved her more than anything and she betrayed him." Nick finally spoke. Gia was silent for a moment.

"It doesn't matter how he feels when it comes to this. It's about what is best for his daughter. Neither he or my mother are thinking of her first. Don't defend him." Nick also stood up, getting irritated.

"I'm not saying it's right. It's what you always say, 'Causation isn't an excuse'. He can't see past his own pain right now." Nick argued. Gia rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"Thanks for the insight." She picked up her drink and downed the rest of it. "I can't deal with this anymore tonight. I'm at my limit." She turned and stalked towards her bedroom, the door slamming slightly.

Rafael took a deep breath. He had hoped once Sienna talked that the stress on Gia would let up, but that had been woefully ignorant. He knew both Gia and Nick were right. They were both stubborn and emotional. How they ended up best friends Rafael didn't know.

"Rafa, we're going to go. Just tell her...tell her I'm here if she wants to talk." Olivia stood as she was speaking.

"I will. She'll appreciate it when this isn't so...fresh." Olivia nodded. Nick didn't say anything else as he left with Olivia.

Rafael locked the door behind them and follwed Gia's lead by downing his drink and then headed towards their room. He slowly opened the door and their room was only lit up by the lamp near Gia's chair. He knew this was more relaxing for her, she hated bright lights.

She was sitting in her chair, her legs hanging over the arm of it, looking through a photo album. She was on a page that was clearly a school picture of her. Her blonde curls wild, her hair was almost white it was so blonde when she was younger, it had grown darker as she got older. Her blue eyes shining and a beaming smile. This was Gia before her life fell apart.

Gia closed the book and stood up to put it back on the shelf. She gestures for Rafael to sit down in the chair. Once he sat down she sat in his lap. Gia had the window open, even though it made the room chilly, it allowed them to listen to the rain that had started pouring down outside.

Rafael twirled a curl around his finger. Their silence wasn't uncomfortable. He knew her brain was in overdrive and she was overstimulated. He just wanted to be her safe haven. A place where she could just be without any expectations.

"We could run away." She finally spoke. There was a tiny hint of a joke, but he could sense the seriousness in it.

"Oh yeah? How and where to?" She curled into him, drawing her legs closer and resting her head on his shoulder. He circled his arm around her back, hand resting on her hip.

"I have money, a lot of money. My grandmother left me a pretty substantial amount and it's just been growing and invested. We couldn't live like millionaires, but we could live decently. Some place warm with white sand, the ocean..." Rafael hummed in agreement.

"I think I could live every day with you in a bikini. I could run around in a Speedo." He teased. She let out a genuine laugh that was music to his ears.

"I'm serious though. When it gets to be too much, we can just go. Leave all of this behind." She was running her fingers through the back of his hair.

"You'd walk away from your family, Olivia...Nick?" She thoughtfully silent for a moment.

"That's what phones are for, but all I need is you." He smiled, resting his cheek on her forehead.

"Let's take a trip, a vacation." He suggested. Maybe getting away would be a good break for her.

"Now isn't exactly a good time." She sighed in defeat. As much as she wanted to run, she knew she couldn't.

"Let's go during Christmas. We both have plenty of time to take."

"I thought you wanted to go skiing?" He could hear the disdain in her voice. She had told him she didn't want to go, but that he should. She didn't want him changing his hobbies for her.

"I think I'd be willing to forgo that this year to be on a beach with you." Gia hummed in agreement. "Gigi, I'd do anything for you." She picked her head up and turned his head so she could kiss him.

"I love you." She said with her lips still against his.

"Me too." Then he kissed her again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"No, no, NO!" Anna cried. "Aunt Gigi is supposed to take me. I don't want to go with Grandma." She was inconsolable. Gia was exhausted, she had spent most of the night wide awake. Rafael had been awake with her for most of the time. Trying anything to get her to fall asleep. Her patience were wearing thin. She knew her niece was in a mess, but Gia did not get enough sleep to be able to handle this. She didn't know how Grayson was dealing with Anna's big emotions day in and day out.

"Annie listen to me, please." Gia pleaded. "I promise you, it's okay to go with Grandma. It will be fine and you'll get to see your Mommy. That's what matters, right? That's what's important?Anna remained ever obstinate. Gia saw her own stubbornness staring back at her.

"She's mean to Mommy, she hates her. She makes Mommy cry when Daddy isn't there." Gia turned and looked at her brother and then shot her mother a glare. Gia had no problem believing it, she knew how her mother could be. He was exasperated and her mother was angry. Gia knew the only reason she wasn't yelling at Anna was because she knew it would cause a fight and she was less willing to go head to head with her daughter than she used to be since this visit.

"Here's a solution." Trevor Langdon finally spoke up. "I know everyone is concerned, so why don't Gia, your mother and myself go with Anna. We can see how it goes. Once things get settled, and everyone is comfortable, Rita and I can work out a solution to the supervised visits. What we don't want, is for Anna to be in distress when she goes and sees her mother. Regardless of the reason, any chance Sienna has to make Grayson look bad, she will use it." They all looked to Grayson and he gave a slight nod of his head, that was all Gia needed.

"Go get your shoes on monkey, Mr. Langdon and I are coming too." Anna's face brightened and she hugged Gia. Gia kissed her niece on the head before she ran off.

"Gigi, I didn't want you to have to do this. You've been through so much. I really was just trying to make things easier for you. I know you and Sienna were close and she is just another person in a long line of people that have let you down." Grayson's voice was filled with regret. Gia waved him off.

"I appreciate that Gray, I really do. It's not about me though, it's about Anna and what she needs. Sienna and our mother have never gotten along, I don't want Sienna to be on the defensive because I want that child to enjoy the time she has with her. It's only two hours. I can set my feelings for Sienna aside for her. You know I'd do anything for both of you." As annoyed as she had been the night before, but she didn't want to kick him when he was down. He may not have even consciously been trying to punish Sienna with their mother. She wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. Being supportive was the best thing she could offer.

"Well I am still going." Her mother snapped. Gia held back a sharp comment for Grayson's sake. "I want to make sure Sienna doesn't pull anything." Gia clenched her jaw and closed her eyes for a moment.

"Do you really think I would let anything like that happen to Anna?" Gia's voice was low, trying to simmer the urge to punch her mother in the face.

"Well apparently you had five years to catch on." Gia laughed sardonically. Of course she was going to throw this at Gia's feet. It wasn’t her relationship but she was supposed to have known Sienna was living a double life and not her actual husband.

"Please don't start." Grayson jumped in. Gia said nothing further, she wasn't going to give her the satisfaction. She walked into the kitchen to give herself a little bit of space. Trevor walked over and put a hand on her shoulder.

"I didn't realize there would be an issue with your mother going or I would have shut it down." Gia shook her head.

"You had no way of knowing. We will just make the best of it I guess. I'm usually the only one willing to put my mother in her place. I just want Anna to be happy. That's all that matters."

Once Anna was ready, Trevor drove them to what was now just Sienna's apartment. She stared out the car window, trying to quell her anxiety by thinking of anything but where she was currently headed. She focused on the evening prior, after Liv and Nick left. Kissing Rafael, the feeling of his hands ghosting across her body, their tight grip on her hips. Just the thought of being with him was enough to tap into his ability to short circuit any anxious thoughts for the time being.

Gia was worried that going bringing Anna back to that apartment was a bad idea. She thought that meeting at a park or restaurant may have been a better option. Now with her mother in tow, it definitely would have. In public, her mother would behave herself.

Normally Anna's squeal of delight would make her so happy, but in this instance, as they pulled up to the apartment building, it worried her. Anna held onto Gia's hand the entire way inside. The imminent reunion made Gia feel like something was crawling inside of her veins. Anna happily hit the button to the top floor of the building Gia felt like they were ascending to doom. Once they reached the top floor, Anna bolted.

"Anna Grace Monroe you stop running this instant!" Gia's mother bellowed. Gia gave her mother a cutting look. Anna had frozen in place, her excitement dampered. Gia rushed to catch up with her niece and took her hand.

"Stay with me, okay?" Anna nodded. This was what Gia didn't want happening, this little girls excitement ruined for even one moment because of her mother. When they reached the door, Gia knocked before Anna could just open the door. Gia could see the apprehension on Sienna's face faded slightly when she saw Gia there but then she saw something else replace it. Something was off. The air around her felt charged.

"Mommy!!" Anna ripped her hand from Gia's and jumped into her arms. Sienna walked into the apartment leaving the door open for the three of them to come in. Trevor shut the door behind them. Sienna brought Anna into the living room so they could play.

Gia wanted to cry watching Anna hug her mother and kiss her multiple times all over her face. Gia's mother went and sat in a chair in the living room, arms crossed in front of her. Rita came out from down the hallway, hovering in that area. She was keeping an eye on Gia's mother. Gia felt some satisfaction in that. If anyone could make Giulia Monroe uncomfortable. It was Rita Calhoun. She and Trevor stood in the kitchen awkwardly.

They had stood leaning on the counter making quiet small talk for about an hour when she couldn't take intruding on the moment between mother and daughter any longer; maybe it was because it hurt so damn much that she had never and would never have that with her own mother. She told Trevor that she needed some time alone and would be in her room that was off of the kitchen. She felt bad leaving him alone, but she just couldn't do it any longer.

She threw her purse on the bed and went and sat on her window seat. She had spent so much time in that very same spot after Alison died. She had another hour to go.

She spent another 30 minutes staring out the window, trying to think if there was ever a time that her mother hadn't hated her. A single moment where she was loving or caring. She had seen her be that way with Grayson, but never her and definitely not Gabriel. She felt her phone vibrate in her hand. It was Nick.

"Hey." His voice echoed through as she answered.

"Hey back." She said softly.

"Listen, about yesterday..."

"Forget it. I was in a horrible mood and you were being a dick. It was meant to be disastrous." He laughed.

"You're not wrong. We tend to do that sometimes." She smiled.

"I know, it's because we're so much alike. It's never a permanent fight." She was happy that he had called her. She didn't want to take the chance that he would still be mad and they would fight. She didn't want to call Rafael because he would worry and he worried enough about her. Sometimes she felt like fate aligned for her because Nick was really the one she needed to talk to.

"Barba said that Grayson agreed for you and Langdon to go with your mom."

"Yeah, Anna had a melt down. It would have probably been a disaster if we didn't. Though in all honesty, I should have just brought her on my own. Rita would have been here. Four of us is really unnecessary." Gia sighed.

"How is it?" His voice was tentative, the little sigh she had let out was incredibly telling.

"I'm hiding in what was my bedroom here. It feels wrong to watch them. My mom didn't get that memo though." Nick laughed.

"What is she doing?" Gia didn't respond right away, but he could picture the eye roll in his head.

"Lurking like a fucking vulture, though Rita is giving her the stare down, which is slightly enjoyable. I just wanted Anna to enjoy her time today. I can set aside my anger at Sienna. My mother has never been able to. I'm starting to think that my mother just doesn't know how to relate to girls. It's why she wanted a grandson so badly." It hasn't occurred to Gia until she saw how she was with Anna that it hit her.

"You could really be on to something. How much do you know about her childhood?" Gia scoffed.

"Basically nothing. She isn't exactly the sharing type. It's something to look into though. I need to know why." Gia sniffed. She suddenly felt the urge to to cry.

"What is it that you need to know Gee?" Nick could hear the sadness in her voice.

"Why she hates me so much. She-" Gia froze when she heard Anna screaming.

"What's going on?" Nick asked. Anna was screaming so loudly that Nick could hear it.

"I...I don't know..." Gia heard Trevor scream her name and she jumped up. "Something is wrong. I have to-" Nick interrupted her.

"Don't hang up. Put me on speaker and put the phone in your pocket." Gia did as he asked. Nick had felt a pit in his stomach all day over this visit. He wished he had pushed to have an officer go along. He knew Gia didn't bring her gun.

"Okay Nick, I'm walking out there." Her voice had a tremble to it. When she stepped into the kitchen, she froze.

Sienna had a sobbing Anna on her hip and she was pointing a gun at Gia's mother. Her mother was holding her hands up.

"You're not taking her from me." Sienna had a dangerous tone to her voice.

"Don't be ridiculous. You knew you had limited time with her. They are never going to let you keep her, especially not now, not after this. You're clearly insane." Giulia spat at Sienna.

"Oh my God, Mom shut the fuck up. What is wrong with you?! Sienna! Put the gun down!" She yelled, to make sure Nick heard her say the word "gun". Gia knew he would get a team there. Gia visualized pushing her fear and anxiety down. She had to keep it together. Her mother was throwing gasoline onto the fire.

"Gia, you need to leave. This doesn't concern you. Take Rita and go." Gia realized then that Sienna blamed Trevor for her loosing her daughter too.

"How about before anyone leaves, you put Anna down. Let me hold her. I promise you that I won't leave with her. She's scared and I don't want her to get hurt. Please Sienna, you know you can trust me. I would never do anything to put that little girl in danger." Sienna slowly set Anna down and she raced to Gia and jumped into her arms.

"Okay, okay. Why don't we let both Rita and Trevor go. Then it will be just family. Just us and we can work this out." Gia clocked Rita standing in front of the hallway slightly behind Sienna to her left. Trevor had walked over to Gia and put his hand on her shoulder. Sienna scoffed.

"Your mother is not family." When she turned her head to look at Gia, her mother lunged at Sienna. Gia tried to move towards them, out of reflex, but Trevor gripped her shoulder. Gia flinched and turned into him, holding Anna's head to her shoulder when she heard the gun go off. Anna was inconsolably screaming.

"Mom!" Gia cried out, Rita rushed over to Giulia, grabbed a throw blanket off of the couch to put pressure on the wound once she rolled her to her back. The bullet went into her stomach. Giulia turned her head to look at her daughter.

"Gia, don't let her take that child. You have to protect her and Grayson." Her mother's voice was strained. Gia closed her eyes and a few tears fell. "Don't you cry, I built you to be stronger than that." Gia's eyes shot open and she stared at her mother. "You are made of steel. You are not weak." Gia's eyebrows knitted together. She saw something in her mother's eyes she had never seen before, but she couldn't identify it.

"Jesus, shut up Giulia. Emotionally abusing your child so they are "strong" is not something to brag about. Just let her die Gia. Do you know how much better your life would be if your mother were dead? How much better my life would have been with your brother if she was dead? It's her fault, she ruined everything." She was crying and almost laughing at the same time. Anna was clinging to Gia, not recognizing her own mother.

"Sienna?! What are you doing?" She had the gun pointed at Gia now. Gia didn't know what to do to protect Anna. She felt Trevor shift more towards her side.

"It was just supposed to be your mom here. This wasn't supposed to involve you! I never wanted to involve you. She was supposed to die and Anna and I would have been able to get the hell out of here to meet Isaac and Giselle." When Gia looked up at her face, she could see the instability in her eyes. She prayed Nick heard the comment about Giselle and they were checking on her. Gia had to push that down too. She had to focus on her current situation.

"Sienna, listen to me. Anna is terrified. You let Trevor and Rita take my mom out of here and you and I will talk. It'll just be you and me." Sienna laughed.

"I don't think so." Gia looked over to Rita who was still putting pressure on her mother's wound.

"Just let me get Anna settled in her room. Sienna, she doesn't need to see this, okay? Please, she's terrified." Sienna looked at her daughter and then back to Gia.

"Give me your phone then Gia. No making calls while you're in her room. Gia willed Nick to hang up the phone so Sienna wouldn't see the active call.

"Okay Sienna, I'm getting you my phone." When she pulled it out of her pocket, she felt relief when she saw that he did indeed hang up. She knew it had to kill him to do so. Sienna nodded to the chair behind her and Gia tossed her phone there.

"Go, take her to her room, but don't take too long. Don't do anything stupid." Sienna's tone was harsher than Gia had ever heard her use.

"C'mon Monkey." Gia carried Anna to her room and set her down on her bed. She turned away from her for a moment to collect herself. She gave herself about 30 seconds to internally freak out and then get it back together.

"Mommy hurt Grandma." Anna sobbed.

"I know baby. Anna, I need you to take a few deep breaths okay?" Anna nodded. "Good girl, good girl." Gia went and peaked out the window. She saw a few squad cars. She could imagine that someone would be calling soon.

"Anna, what happened when I went into my room?" Gia couldn't figure out how things had shifted so quickly.

"Grandma tried to take me from Mommy and I got upset and then Mommy got mad." Anna had lost the shrillness in her voice.

"Where did Mommy get the gun from?" Gia knew that she and Grayson didn't own any guns, so where she really got it from and not just where it was located at the time was what really interested her.

"It was in the couch cushions." Gia couldn't believe how careless Sienna had been. That gun could have gone off. It could have killed Anna.

"Hurry up Gia!" Sienna yelled from the living room. She frantically looked around the room and found Anna's iPad and her headphones.

"Okay, I want you to pick a movie and you watch it with these on. You do not leave this room, no matter what you hear, unless someone comes in and gets you okay?" Anna nodded her head. Gia kissed her in the head and headed out of the room.

Gia wanted to use her iPad to send a message but she knew that Sienna's phone was linked to it and she would get the response. She shut the door behind her and made her way to the living room.

"Sienna, I need you to listen to me. They are going to call soon, someone heard the gun shot and there are police outside. They are going to want to know what you want. So you're going to tell them and then as a sign of good faith, you're going to send Trevor out of here with my mom." Sienna scoffed.

"No she's not leaving here. Why do you want to save her? Why do you care what happens to her?!" Gia was willing her hands not to shake.

"Sienna, I care about YOU. I don't want them to kill YOU. Listen to me, I am all that you need. I'm an NYPD Detective, I'm dating an ADA, they will negotiate. Rafael would burn this city to the ground if they didn't. I'm begging you. I don't want to see you in prison for life because of her. Please, you will never see your daughter." She tried to reason with her.

"She's right." Rita said, she was still putting pressure on her mother's gunshot wound. Before Gia could say anything, her phone rang. Sienna looked over at the phone.

"Answer it, on speaker." Gia nodded. She grabbed her phone, relieved to see Olivia's name.

"Gia? Is everyone okay?" Gia felt a strong wave of nausea hit her.

"Everyone but my mom. She was shot, but it was an accident." She didn't want any of them to think that Sienna was just outright shooting people. She didn't want this to escalate more than it had to.

"Okay. Okay...Sienna, this is Detective Benson. Let's work this out, what can we do to get everyone out of there alive?" Her mother had gone pale and silent. She needed help immediately. Gia knew one thing, this was not how she wanted her mother to go out.

"I want a car, I want to leave with my daughter and get on a plane and get us the fuck out of here."

"Okay, okay we can do that. Can you let us get Gia's mother out and medical help?" Liv asked. She had heard her use this tone many times.

"Liv, we can have Trevor carry her out." Before Liv could say anything Sienna cut her off.

"No! Rita can go. All she has done is try to help me." Gia kept her eyes on Sienna, hoping for a moment when she could take control. It didn't come. She couldn't take the chance of that gun going off again.

"Sienna, I can't carry her out of here myself." Rita tried her turn to reason with Sienna.

"C'mon Sienna, let them both go. All you need is me." Gia was silently begging her to listen.

"He wants to help take my daughter always" Sienna waved her gun towards Trevor.

"No Sienna, no. He wants to help Anna. He helped make this visit happen." Sienna let out an annoyed sigh. Gia could see she was weighing her options.

"Fine. The three of them are on their way out. Don't call back until you have a car and a flight to a country without any extradition for my daughter and I. Hang up." Gia did as she was told.

"Trevor, grab my mom and get her out of here. Rita you too." Gia just wanted the three of them out of the apartment, she was almost sure that Sienna wouldn't hurt her.

"Gia, maybe I should stay..." Rita suggested. She could tell she didn't want Gia alone in this. Gia couldn't take the chance of her getting shot too. The wildness of Sienna's eyes frightened her. Gia shook her head.

"No. You get the hell out of here now. We will be fine." Rita nodded, she trusted Gia's judgment. Trevor scooped Gia's mother up and Sienna followed behind them with her gun pointed at them. When Sienna wasn't looking, she found the voice notes app and hit record. If she died in here, she wanted them to know what happened.

She jumped when she heard the apartment door slam and the locks click. She threw her phone back on the couch She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths, the slam of the door was triggering. She could not get swept up in anything else right now. She needed to stay hyper vigilant, not hyperventilating.

"Sit down." Sienna waved her gun towards the couch. Gia sat down, close to her phone.

"Sienna, what are you doing? This isn't the way to do this. I would have helped you work your way back to custody." Sienna scoffed and rolled her eyes.

"Gia, you are so blind. I'm not this helpless, weak woman you all think I am." Gia shook her head in disagreement.

"I have, NEVER thought of you as weak. Not once. I am not my mother. And I know that feeling. After what happened with Ali, Nick and Rafael, they think I'm helpless. They think I can't take care of myself. It's...it's infuriating." Sienna tipped her head to the side and scoffed.

“Typical. You were a badass. You gave Alison at least a chance. You saved yourself. Maybe not weak, but fragile. You think I'm fragile. I've seen the way you watch me. I know you know I have OCD. Your mother, she honed in on it." Sienna lowered the gun, but didn't let it go.

"Thank you for not pointing that at me. What did you mean, you and Grayson would have been fine if it weren't for my mother? I missed a lot, I'm sorry." Sienna blinked at her.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. Jesus that woman fucked you up. You're not responsible for everyone else. You need to take care of you. God, when you had started spending time with Rafael, I saw this spark that was missing in you come alive. When you left here to stay with him, I was so happy for you. Grayson doesn't understand complex grief. I just want you to be happy Gia. Cutting them all off? The best thing you ever did for yourself. I just wish we could have done it with you still being able to see Anna. I know that wasn’t easy for you. Grayson and I never stood a chance at being happy. Your mother needled and interfered. She made him feel guilty for not having a grandson first." Gia closed her eyes and hot tears ran down her face.

"Sienna, I didn't see you as fragile. I saw you as someone who needed someone who understood and supported you. I didn't...I didn't want to come to you because I didn't want to upset you. I know I've had Grayson on a pedestal, that has become more and more apparent. I know. I knew he didn't see you, not for who you truly were. I just, didn't know how to open his eyes." Gia wiped her tears away.

"I wish...I wish we would have talked like this before. Maybe it wouldn't have come to this." Gia swallowed. Part of her wanted to hate Sienna for all of this, but she just couldn't.

"Sienna...Isaac is a terrible person. You saw that video. You saw him beat her. He arranged to have her killed and for you to take the blame if we caught him." She couldn't understand her taking Anna to meet him. Sienna scoffed.

"This is what I'm talking about. He's not like that with me. He never would be. Do you really think I didn't know what Isaac was planning? Of course I did." Gia watched as she was pacing. She didn't know if they had found mic access. What Gia did know was that there would be a sniper across from them soon and they would take a shot as soon as they could. She didn't want Sienna dead.

"Setting a woman up to be murdered? That is not you." Gia did not want to believe that Sienna could be that evil of a person.

"She wasn't supposed to be killed. She was supposed to be attacked, make it look like a robbery. Isaac and I would have left when she was in the hospital. There wasn't supposed to be a rape. But...the idiot showed up early and he improvised. Killed her sister and got, overzealous with Sara. Giselle was not supposed to be there. The truth was, Sara was crazy. She never would have let that child go. He and I...we were going to be free, our daughters would be free. I don't want her with your fucked up family. Present company excluded. You're the only one worth anything. If I could have done it without Giulia Moreno calling in favors and taking my daughter from me, I would have. I didn't want to take Anna from you. I didn't really want to take her from Grayson. I just wanted her with me. Your mother never would have let that happen." The legacy her mother would leave behind would be one of pain and destruction.

"Isaac...he sees me. He sees all of me. He loves me because of my flaws, not in spite of it." Gia could certainly understand that. Gia had more questions about Sara but they weren’t as important right now.

"Why all of the money moving?" Gia had to know what that was all about. Isaac was trying to make Sienna look guilty.

"C'mon Gia, you're a fucking Detective and a damn good one. Reasonable doubt." Gia stared at her for a moment, realizing she didn't know this woman at all.

"No, you both would be prosecuted. Rafael would make sure if it." Sienna sighed.

"That's why your mother trying to take over this visit was perfect. I'd get to kill the woman that has made my life hell for a decade, since Grayson and I got together and my daughter and I would be free. You wouldn't be involved at all. Then you showed up with the Calvary. I know you came for Anna and for me and I love you for it. I know who you are. I don't want to have to kill you Gia. But I won't let you stand in between my daughter and I getting out of here." She was in front of the window. Gia knew that they could see her through the curtain. She held her breath. They weren't really negotiating with her, if they were, Gia's phone would have rung again. They were just stalling to take her out. They knew where Anna was and they knew Gia knew how this went. Sienna didn't know anything about how hostage situations work. If she had, she never would have looked out the window. Gia couldn't help herself. She jumped up and pushed Sienna out of the way just as the bullet broke through the glass.

"Gia! No, no, no! This wasn't supposed to happen." Sienna cried out. She still had the gun in her hand but she was near Gia on the floor. The shot grazed had Gia's upper arm and she had screamed out when the searing hot pain sliced through her arm. She fell to the ground at an odd angle and smacked her head on the corner of the wall and felt the impact on her side. All Gia could think about was the movies acting like flesh wounds were no big deal being bullshit. She didn't know what was more painful, the bleeding wound or her neck and head. It wasn't long before they were bursting in the door. She was thankful that Anna had remained in her room.

"Sienna, drop your gun and get on your knees or they will kill you." She was wide eyed, she did exactly as Gia instructed. Her words came out strained. Gia laid her head back on the floor, her arm throbbing. She knew the bullet didn't go through, but it left a deep gash that was bleeding pretty heavily. She heard a lot of yelling, but it was too much for her to focus on who was saying what.

She didn't dare move her head or neck any more than she already had. That fall was rough. She could see things out of her peripheral vision. She saw Olivia carrying Anna out of the apartment. Her arms were around Olivia's neck, her scared eyes fell on Gia for a moment. That made Gia's anxiety damper, knowing her niece was okay. She closed her eyes for a moment until she heard her name. When she opened her eyes, Nick was kneeling and looking down at her.

"Jesus, I thought you were dead. Don't move." He demanded. She wondered if there was a mark on her head from where she hit it. Gia groaned. A pounding headache was raging through her skull.

"I've always wanted to say this, it's just a flesh wound." She offered him a half smile. Nick shook his head in disbelief.

"I hate you. You're an asshole. Why would you jump up like that, knowing she was in the prime location for them to take a shot." He had grabbed some gauze to press to her arm wound as they were waiting for the EMT. She cried out at the pressure.

"I didn't want her dead. I couldn't...I couldn't let it happen. You need to get my phone. I recorded us talking. She admitted to being in on the plan to hurt Sara." Nick shook his head.

"Of course you got that. Okay, the EMT is here. I'll see you soon." Gia wanted to nod, but she didn't dare. She had uttered a feeble agreement before Nick went in search of her phone.

It wasn't long before they had something wrapped on her arm and her head, she was on a stretcher with a brace around her neck and headed out of the building. As soon as she felt the cold November air hit her skin, she heard Rafael. She was too tired to open her eyes to greet him. It was the second blow to the head in 6 months, she knew she had a concussion.

The neck brace was uncomfortable. Everything seemed hazy. Gia heard them mention she had lost a lot of blood. She fought and opened her eyes. Rafael's locked with hers.

"You're going to be okay." He told her. She squeezed the hand that he had taken in his.

"I know. It's not a major wound." Rafael rolled his eyes.

"You've lost a lot of blood." She gave him a soft smile.

"No te preocupes. Esta bien." He kissed the back of her hand.

"Detective, I'm more concerned with the wound on the side of your head. This is your second major blow to the head recently." Gia moved her eyes to the other side, she saw the EMT had her back to her at the he moment.

"When I pushed her out of the way, the bullet grazed my arm and I fell. I hit the side of my head on the crown molding. There's this weird half wall near the couch." Rafael took it as a good sign that she was so alert and speaking. The EMT didn't look as relieved.

"I know, I saw your blood on it. You are going to need a head CT immediately. How's your neck?"

"It's sore, I twisted it." The EMT nodded.

"Do you have any tingling in your extremities?" Gia wasn't a fan of this line of questioning, it was making her nervous.

"Not currently, no." The EMT nodded.

"That's good. But girl, you have got to stop jumping into danger." Gia blinked for a moment. She was confused. The EMT must have registered her confusion.

"My name is Eva. I was there the night you were attacked in your apartment. They told me what you did that night. Seems like a bad habit to me." Gia let out a feeble laugh.

"I'm assuming that her being so coherent is a good sign?" Rafael's face was still laced with concern.

"Yes, it's a very good sign." Eva went back to checking Gia's vitals and making some notes. Gia gasped.

"My mom?" Her face searched Rafael's for an answer when he hesitated.

"She's in surgery. It's touch and go. If she would have been in there much longer, she would have died." Gia blinked back tears.

"Right now, Amor, you need to rest. We will talk about all of this after, okay?" He took her lack of response as an agreement. He did what he always did when he wanted to calm her, he traced his thumb over her tattoo. He didn't even have to look at it at this point.

Once they got to the hospital, they sent Rafael to the waiting room. They were taking her up for testing and would come and get him when she was in a room. If he never saw this hospital again, it would be too soon.

When Rafael walked in the waiting room, Liv was there with Grayson and Vano. Anna was laying on one of the couches asleep.

"Gia will be furious that she is here." Rafael commented, Grayson didn't respond.

"Rafa, how is she?" Olivia was the first one to ask about Gia, which pissed Rafael off.

"It's the second head injury in 6 months. They think she'll be okay, but they are doing some CT scans. I think they're worried about her neck, she twisted it. She lost a lot of blood. The bullet grazed her arm, but I think she's going to need a transfusion. She was so pale, but it was her lips, they were almost white." Rafael ran his hand down his face.

"Well, maybe she shouldn't have taken a bullet for someone who just tried to kill our mom and I let her convince me to allowing my daughter a visit with that psycho. Rafael spun around and glared at Grayson.

"God, you are such a prick. It was about to be court ordered. She had the chance to get out of that apartment. Instead, she stayed, to make sure your daughter was safe and didn't end up kidnapped. She didn't want her to die, because she is a good person. A better person than you. She didn't want your daughter to lose her mother. It will be hard enough with her in prison. That child has been traumatized enough. Gia would have wanted to save her more. Maybe if you hadn't sent a woman in there that hated your wife and would antagonize her, she wouldn't have gotten shot. If it had just been your sister, she wouldn't have done this. I heard the confession from your wife. Your mother was trying to rip her daughter from her before the visit was even over, just because she thought she could. So if your mother dies, it's on her. Fuck off." Grayson took a few steps toward Rafael and then his father was in between them.

"Grayson, enough. He's right. Your mother never should have been in there, but neither of you would listen. Gia didn't save Sienna's life to spite you and your mother. Your daughter is alive and safe because of her. Focus on that. Don't you dare place this on Gigi. She is always on your side. Show some loyalty. Tell me about the confession." Vano asked Olivia.

Rafael was surprised to hear him admonish Grayson. It was well over due. He hadn't expected Vano to say a word. Vano put his hand on Rafael's shoulder and then he went and sat down. Grayson had retreated to the couch where Anna was sleeping. Liv looked at Gia's father.

"After Detective Amaro had to hang up, Gia found a way to turn a recording on, likely when Sienna was locking the door behind the other three. She got the confession that Sienna knew what was going to happen. Apparently the plan wasn't supposed to be what actually ended up happening. She will be looking at some serious time. Isaac Moreno is at large. We were able to protect his daughter Giselle and her mother's family, thanks to Gia keeping her phone on speaker. The hope is that Sienna will want a deal and help us bring him in."

"My girl, she's smart. She's a hero" Was all Vano could say, pride in his daughter. They sat in silence for what seemed like hours. Finally, a nurse came out into the waiting room.

"Mr. Barba, you can see Detective Moreno now, she asked for you." Olivia squeezed his hand and he stood up and followed the nurse down the hall.

[theoneeyedgoldenwolf]

Tick tock, eyes of a clock

Whumptober 2024, alt prompt: Secrets Revealed

Inspiration by @entiqua:

Summary: Termina gave the Hero of Time the ability to constantly know the time of the clock. Usually he tries to ignore it, sometimes he unconsciously gives the time out without thinking and other times he uses it for his advantage. And yet, the question is… How did he gain this ability?

CW: Cursing, bad memories, freaking out, bad feelings (sorrow, fear, uncertainty)

Notion: Okay, I admit that I forgot that each time everything is reset, you start outside the Clock Tower’s door, not inside it. ^^;; Oh, well, I felt kinda better that he doesn’t like scare everyone by just appearing out of nowhere in there. XD

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The area the nine Heroes had made their camp was as safe as it could get. The fairies of the close by Fountain had confirmed it and they were close enough to be in the blessed area of the Great Fairy. It was the reason Time had fallen into his own thoughts and just blankly stared at the ground before him as he had spaced out from what was going on around him.

Legend approached the Chain’s leader and he was up for announcing himself to the older male. Yet, as he saw the one eyed male’s ear twitch, he already knew to be known of being there. That was the only reason he didn’t say a word as he walked closer. He was absolutely certain of the Old Man knowing him to be there and that there wouldn’t be a chance of him startling him.

Yet, the Veteran frowned as Time hadn’t moved or turned to look at him. Something felt bit off but he wasn’t certain of why or what. Once he came next to his oldest brother, he bit tilted his head and looked at the taller male. The moment his gaze found that one eye, he gave out a startled gasp and recoiled bit backwards.

The Hero with Fierce Deity’s markings gasped a bit too and jerked slightly while starting to blink. He frowned and nearly snapped his gaze into Legend. “Ledge? You okay?” He queried while feeling worried about the bit freaked out look on his boy’s face.

“I… Uh… W-what just…” The Weapon Specialist stammered before shaking his head and blinking few times. “Yeah, I just… Shit… Your eye… For a moment there…” He half whispered while starting to frown before partly groaning and shaking his head.

“What? What about my eye?” Time queried while feeling even more worried.

Legend hesitated for a second before sighing. “For a second there I thought I saw a clock in your eye. You know, the numbers and pointers in the round area of it.” He explained before already waving his hand bit dismissively. “Just a trick of light or something.” He claimed with a slight grimace but that soon turned into frown of worry. “Time…?” He called carefully as the reaction to his words wasn’t what he had waited for.

The one eyed male had gasped and stumbled backwards. “W-what…?” He half mumbled quietly while slowly beginning to breathe shallowly. He trembled slightly while staring wide-eyed at his boy but it was clear he wasn’t seeing him. He took another unconscious step backwards and, sadly, stumbled into the root that was growing above the ground. The Veteran flinched and gasped in shock as the Chain’s leader gave out terrified scream as he fell backwards.

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Just as he finished the last notes of the Song of Time he felt himself fall backwards. It was odd and even wrong feeling. He was standing on solid ground at the top of the Clock Tower. He was running out of time, he knew that, and he wasn’t capable of fighting against Majora as a Deku Scrub. Still, he hadn’t waited to fall.

The mist came out of nowhere. The Clock Tower vanished from around him. The round white faces of the clocks with the numbers and pointes began to move upwards past him as he fell. The money, arrows and other stuff just flew out of his pockets like something would’ve snatched them away from him. There were dozens of clocks while being surrounded by them. It was odd how right between them there was big enough hole for him to fall through. The sound of them ticking off was almost deafening.

He screamed. He was confused, shocked and terrified. He had no idea what was going on. He hadn’t waited for something like this to happen. He had just thought that he’d blink once and then he’d be back to how ever far back the song would throw him into. That he’d actually, oddly enough, stay to the same place but before this battle and all. Just like with the Master Sword. Same place but different time.

He gasped as he found himself standing inside the Clock Tower, below the ground instead of above it. He looked around at the blue tiles, the river and the huge clockwork of the place. He recoiled backwards when he saw the Happy Mask Salesman.

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“I… I forgot…” Time whispered with trembling voice. Legend wasn’t certain if he was even aware of his surroundings at the moment. “The fall… The clocks… The sound of ticking… I touched one. Why did I touch it? That was stupid. Why did I do that? Why did I make one of the plates of clocks spin? What the fuck was I thinking?” He mumbled while trembling and just staring forward without really seeing anything.

“Time…?” The Veteran called worriedly while having crouched down. He hesitated to touch his oldest brother as he was uncertain of what to do. It was clear his leader wasn’t really with him at the moment. And he feared to freak him out even worse if he touched him at the moment. “Hey, Old Man, snap out of it.” He partly commanded with weak voice.

“What’s going on? We heard Time scream!” Warriors shouted while he and the others dashed in. The seven Heroes gasped in shock when they saw their leader. The one eyed male was trembling and breathing fast and shallowly while staring forward.

“I’ve no idea.” Legend answered truthfully while standing up to face his brothers. “I… I just…” He stammered a bit and shook his head. He turned his worried and bit freaked out gaze back into the Old Man.

“Sprite…?” The Captain called after having crouched down. Time blinked several times and shook his head while frowning in confusion. “Come on, Sprite, come back to us, little brother.” The war Hero coaxed gently and bit smiled as the older male relaxed his stiff body a bit. “That’s more like it. Come on, Sprite, listen to my voice. You’re okay. You’re safe. We’re here for you.” He kept talking with gentle voice.

“Wars…?” The Chain’s leader called quietly while blinking and frowning. He gasped and flinched when he actually saw all eight of his boys around. “I…” He started uncertainly before sighing heavily and bit slumping. “Shit…” He mumbled quietly as he turned his gaze off while feeling tad angry at himself. He sighed nearly exaggerated and ran his hand past his face. “Damn it… Sorry…”

The one eyed male took a deep breath and forced himself back to his feet. He took once a deep breath to calm himself down bit better and let it out slowly. “Come on, we better get back to the camp.” He started to usher even though he knew the eight Heroes with him were worried. Yet, he wasn’t at the moment ready to talk as he needed to get his own thoughts and the flash of memory into order.

The Chain let their leader take them back to the fireplace and sit down. Yet, they kept glancing at him through the whole walk, especially Legend and Warriors. Once down on the logs, the oldest Link sighed heavily. He didn’t dare to look at anyone as he still rearranged the memories and knowledge he had just gained. He shuddered a bit and shook his head to clear his mind. The others sat silently around him while being entirely worried of the situation. They wanted answers but they didn’t dare to ask the questions. After all, it was up to their leader what and how much he was willing to share if anything at all.

“Whenever I space out, I see a ghost of a clock. The numbers and the pointers. I hear the ticking of it too.” Time eventually whispered. “It started during my second quest. I never knew it was really there. The clock. On sight. I thought it was all in my head. Unseen to outside. All just within my own mind. I didn’t know until Legend pointed it out. That it is reflected right into my own eyes.” He shivered roughly and shook his head.

“Back in Termina, when I played the Song of Time and reversed everything, I…” The one eyed male trailed off and sighed shakily. “I had forgotten it. That falling. Those clocks.” He shook his head and wrapped his arms around himself as he trembled. He hang his head while closing his eye. “It didn’t matter where I stood. High or low. Wet or dy. Cold or warm. It was always the same no matter when I played it.”

The Chain’s leader gulped once, desperate to keep his voice strong but he was already breathing bit shakily and he knew his voice would come out shattered. “The white mist would fade everything out of sight. I’d fall backwards through anything and everything. I never landed. I never struck back first into anywhere. The round white faces of clocks surrounded me. A hole wide enough for me to go through between them. Dozens if not hundreds of them. Ticking the time away. Backwards, forward, slow or fast. It would always follow me. Everything that I had gathered that I hadn’t given into the safekeeping of the bank would be snatched away. They’d just fly out of my pockets and vanish. Like they never existed. And then, suddenly, I was standing at the cellar of the Clock Tower. The gears of the clock moving. The sound of the clock loud and clear. The river flowing and adding its own sound to it all. The dampness of the place. Just like that. From wherever I had been, right into the start of it all. Each and every single time I played that song, I would fall through it all and undo everything.”

Time shook his head and tried to dry the tears he hadn’t even realized to have let out. “One time… The whole thing was hell. Not the monsters. Nor the Temples. But the forgetting. Each time I reset the time loop of three days, everyone forgot me. I knew them. I knew more each turn of them but they…” He trailed off and bit down to his lower lip as he shook his head. “They forgot me. It was first time they met all over again. I just….” He shook his head and slumped forward. He rested his face against his hands with elbows against his knees. “It hurt so much. I couldn’t take it. So I became numb to it all. According to Malon, as she tried to count the times I reset it all, I was trapped at Termina from three to five years. And I never aged a damn day. Stayed ten through it all.”

The Old Man forced himself sit straight again. He ran his hand past his face to try and dry his tears. “So, this one time I fell through the time to turn it all back to start again, I reached out. I don’t know what I was thinking. I don’t know why I did it. I just touched one of the round plates of the clocks. And it began to spin. I didn’t think I could’ve actually touch those things. It was bit shocking. I think, to this day, it still spins. It always did whenever I reset it all and fell past them. I never stopped it. Dunno why. And yet, after I had touched it and set it into action, the clock was in my head. I knew the time. Whole time. Night or day. Just waking up or having been awake for hours.”

The oldest Link snorted and gave a lopsided grin. “At first I thought it as a blessing. I finally could be at the right places at the right times. I didn’t have to try and figure it out or ask around while praying I’d get where I was needed in time. All I needed anymore was to remember what happened where and when. For some time it was of great help but in the long run… It just became a burden. I felt the time ticking away even harder than before. I even heard it. Every single second of it. Barely could sleep with the clock being so loud.”

Time sighed and slumped a bit. “It got real bad. I asked help from the Great Fairies. They couldn’t stop it but at least they were capable of quieting it down enough to be more of a feeling than to really hear it. I can still hear it. But not loudly enough to bother. It’s more there when I space out but not other times.” He shrugged a bit with a weak smile. “I tried few times to stop the spinning. I reached out towards it but I hesitated and pulled back. Not because I thought I’d keep needing the unasked clock in my head but…. I feared too much of doing something worse. To make it spin more. Or end up touching the other clocks. So I let it go. Too scared to make it worse to try and stop it.”

The one eyed male shrugged with sorrowful smile. “Once I finally managed to get Termina saved, there was no reason to turn back the time. Why should I? I had just gotten everything done right and all. It would’ve been idiotic to reset it all after just getting everyone saved.” He shook his head a bit. “So, yeah, no chances to change the situation. I’ve played the song several times afterwards, though. In different places. At my own era and at the war. Not on this quest, luckily. Yet, ever since Termina I haven’t fallen through those clocks.”

The Chain’s leader sat up straighter while taking a deep but still bit shaky breath. He ran his hand through his hair while trying to act far more like being in one piece while feeling way too shattered from inside. “Anyway, that’s like eternity ago.” He commented with a weak lopsided smile. He stood up bit shakily while locking his gaze into Legend. “So, um, was there something you wanted to talk with me, Legend?” He queried while feeling like he needed something, anything at all, that was entirely different than what he had just talked about.

The Veteran blinked in start and slumped a bit in uncertainty. “Um… T-that can wait. It’s nothing really.” He nearly mumbled while having not waited to be put on spot like that.

“You sure?” Time queried bit worriedly. “I’d really love a change of topic, you know.” He told with a grin but it still was quite weak one from what he usually could throw in. He just wanted out of the situation before the others could really get it through their heads of what he had just revealed. He wasn’t ready to break down worse than he already had.

Legend still felt tad uncertain but he nodded in understanding and got up. He slumped a bit when he noticed the older male bit relaxing and sighing in relief. “Okay, let’s just get somewhere out of hearing range, yeah?” The oldest Link suggested while feeling grateful of getting out of the situation and gently ushered the Veteran along.

Once they got far enough from the camp, the one eyed male already half crashed, half leaned against the closest tree. He sighed heavily while closing his eye for a while before giving a slight smile to the younger swordsman. “Sorry. I just really needed to get away for a moment.” He half whispered while running his hand through his hair.

“You okay, Time?” Legend inquired worriedly while watching his oldest brother almost intently.

The Old Man sighed and shrugged. “I don’t know.” He replied truthfully with a small smile. “Anyway, what you wanted to talk about?”

The Veteran averted his gaze off before sighing and moving to another tree right across the one eyed male. He leaned against it back first before sighing and raising his gaze up into his leader. “Hyrule.” He half whispered and shrugged. “I ended up hearing something that he said and…” He trailed off with another shrug.

“And it bothers you.” Time summed up and Legend just nodded. “Well, from a guy who’s meddled with time itself for as long as I can remember… Don’t waste it.” He stated out and grinned a bit. “Talk to him. Let him know you overheard something and you just want to clarify things. He’ll understand. We pretty much are together whole time, it’s miracle if we don’t end up hearing secrets that weren’t meant for our ears.” He told with a shrug. “Just don’t waste the time we have. He’ll notice you’re off and it’ll only worry him in return. The quicker you deal with this, the better. It’s far better to clear things off while you can than let it fester in your head and end up being something it’s not.”

“I’m not sure I should. What if it’s nothing and…” Legend started without really knowing what to say.

“The better to clear it off straight away.” The Chain’s leader stated out. “You need the context for it. You need to know the full thing. You only got part of it all without knowing the start or ending. Just talk to him.”

“Yeah… Yeah, you’re right.” The Weapon Specialist half whispered with a small smile.

Time grinned mischievously. “Of course I’m right. Why else am I the leader?” His grin widened at the Veteran’s laughter. “See, talking helps.” He commented before pushing himself off of the tree and moving closer to his boy. He pulled him into a hug. “Thanks.” He whispered and Legend nodded while returning the hold.

“Thank you too.” The Hero with most quests done whispered back before pulling off. “We probably should get back. The others are probably worried sick about you.” He pointed out before giving a slight deadpan look. “I am too, by the way.”

The one eyed male chuckled a bit and grinned. “I know. Thanks.” He replied and started to gently usher the younger male back to the camp. “I’m probably going to be breaking down soon again.” He mused bit sorrowfully. “Yet, I’d rather you and Hyrule talked first. After that you two can come over to hug me. Please?” He requested with hopeful look. Legend nodded in acceptance and his oldest brother sighed a bit in relief and relaxed slightly. “Good. Thanks.”

Just before they got into the sight of the others, Time stopped walking. “Go ahead. Get to Hyrule and talk things through. I’ll go and get myself glomped by the others in a bit but I just want to make sure Hyrule doesn’t feel left out of it.” He told as calmly as he could.

Yet, the Veteran could notice the slight uncertainty in his leader. “You sure?” He inquired while feeling bit contradicted of the situation. He desperately wanted to help the Old Man but he also wanted to clear things out with the Traveler. The Chain’s leader gave a weak smile and nodded. “Alright.” Legend half whispered but he didn’t leave without giving one swift and tight hug to his oldest brother. “Just remember that we simply want to help you as much as you help us.” He whispered firmly before pulling off and walking to the camp.

“Where’s Time?” Twilight straight off inquired while getting up to his feet.

“Not far.” The Specialist simply answered while making his way straight to the half-fairy. “Hyrule, I’d like to talk with you for a moment. In private.” He requested as calmly as he could.

“But…” Hyrule started uncertainly while glancing towards the way his predecessor had come from.

“Time wants things to go this way.” Legend explained as calmly as he could. “Please?” He tried not to plead but he couldn’t fully hold his voice off of the slight begging. The Traveler still hesitated for a moment before sighing and nodding. “Thank you.” The Veteran half whispered before leading his successor out of the camp so that they could talk.

The rest of the Chain watched the situation while feeling fully uncertain of things. They all wanted to go and find Time but they also felt like their oldest brother wouldn’t really appreciate such action. Yet, taking Hyrule away from aiding the male he shared similarity in magic didn’t seem right either. Nonetheless, Legend had claimed it as Time’s request so they just had to accept things as they were.

The Old Man waited for a while to let two of his brothers leave the area far enough before he took a deep breath and walked into the camp. The six members of the Chain stood back up the moment they saw the one eyed male. “Sprite…” Warriors started bit sorrowfully while already approaching his little brother. Time just gave a slight sorrowful smile and a shrug. Yet, even though he knew it was coming, he still gasped a bit and slightly flinched as the Captain hugged him tightly.

“I’m sorry you’ve gone through such hell. I wish I could’ve been there. I wish I could’ve helped you better.” The war Hero whispered.

“I know.” The Chain’s leader replied quietly while slowly returning the hold. “I’ve dealt with my past. At least most of it, that is. Doesn’t mean it won’t come and bite me every now and then, though.” He told and chuckled a bit with a shrug.

The five others gave the duo a moment before they moved closer and turned that simple hug into a group hug. They held on tightly while feeling their oldest brother fight to stay intact. “It’s okay, little brother. We’re here. You’re allowed to show your feelings. We understand as we simply want to help you like you help us.” Warriors whispered gently before carefully starting to move and get them all to sit down by the fire.

The Old Man and his younger brother bit gasped at the unexpected movement but they followed without trouble or fighting back. Time still tried to stay in one piece but the whispered reassuring words slowly began to break through him and he ended up breaking down. That only got the others to tighten their hold and move as close to him as they could to show their caring and willingness to comfort him.

By the time Legend and Hyrule returned to the camp while being far more comfortable with each other than for the past several days, they found the one eyed male asleep in the hold of their brothers. They joined in to add in their presence too to let their oldest brother be aware of all of his boys being right there by him. With all eight surround him, the Heroes of Hyrule could feel him relax a bit more and sleep that slight bit calmer.

It took few hours before Time finally stirred and blinked his eye open. The Chain hadn’t moved even one inch from around him and he smiled a bit as he found them having fallen asleep on him. He didn’t dare to move so he wouldn’t awaken them. Yet, that didn’t mean he couldn’t watch them slumber peacefully around him. This always made him feel so much better. Just having all eight close to him while being entirely safe and sound. Just the show of trust, companionship, love and caring with such simple thing as a group hug and staying in that place for as long as needed.

It still sometimes baffled the Chain’s leader of how quickly they had become so close with each other. The start hadn’t been easy at all with the communication barrier, lonely roads of their pasts, the lack of teamwork and getting adjusted into things. Yet, within a month or so there already had been small connections between some of them while clearly trusting one another as whole. He hadn’t forced anything while just giving them the needed time and space. And, little by little, everyone had calmed down and found a place within their little group of Heroes. After that things had only become stronger between them. It showed in this kind of little situations of hugs, opening up easily enough and giving the comfort in the way they were capable of.

It took about an hour longer before the eight younger Links started to stir, yawn and stretch a bit as they woke up. Time just watched and smiled while bit avoiding the slow movements of stretching. He was slightly taken off guard when Warriors gently kissed the side of his head. “Slept well, Sprite?” He inquired while still waking up.

The one eyed male smiled fondly and rested his head on the younger male’s shoulder. “Better than for a while.” He replied calmly.

“How are you feeling, Time?” Legend inquired after having pulled off a bit to get a better check on his leader.

“Calmer for certain.” The Old Man answered with a fond smile. “Thank you, everyone, for listening, letting me calm down a bit and for the amazing hug.” He mused with a slight lopsided grin. “Thank you for being my brothers through time.”

The Chain had first nodded and smiled fondly at the words but with that last line they were bit surprised. Yet, it only got them to lean right back into that group hug and hold their oldest brother as tightly as they could.  Time returned the hold as well as he could.

Termina had left lot of hell in the one eyed male but he had dealt with most of it with Malon. Yet, with these eight Heroes around him, he knew he could heal much better and even from deeper hell like the fact of how he had gained the exact knowledge of what the clock was 24/7. And as he was open of his own past and revealed the deeper secrets that were harder to talk about, so were the others as they knew they were trusted with something almost sacred of each other’s lives. And each of the nine of them would do absolutely anything to help one another to heal and find peace with their past.

This all made them to be the family they were instead of just group of Heroes traveling together to handle a mission. They cared and loved of each other deeply and there was no doubt in the fact of them being ready and willing to go as far as needed just to help and keep their brothers safe and sound. The current situation was just one small thing that showed how much they meant to one another and how close they were with each other. They truly felt calm and comfortable with the Links around them as they didn’t hesitate even one bit to show their affection by hugs and trust by revealing secrets of their lives. And Time felt absolutely fortunate of having this amazing group with him while being as important to them as they were to him.

[yugiamaneisdead]

Yugi Amane Isn't Supposed to Live

Other than my False Mystery Hanako theory/AU, I have another. That Yugi Amane's death is a set in stone event. Like think of time as being able to be changed, like by the Clock Keepers, but with certain points that cannot, at least not without disrupting the natural flow of time and events.

I believe Amane's death was one of these events. Everything around it can be changed, but he will be dead at 13. There's something extremely important about the event of his death besides the creation of Hanako, and by changing the timeline to one where Amane never dies, they've avoided something pivotal. Something that cannot and should not be avoided.

And thus, they've caused a rip.

One minute he's there, and then, with no sudden sound, everything has reverted. It's a storage room with no teacher inside. The universe trying to reset itself, to get rid of what is essentially an extreme anom9ly, an impossibility. Amane is supposed to be dead, and his continued and sudden existence rebels against time itself.

Granted, Tsukasa did say the time was 'unstable', and Yashiro says this could be from a past timeline, which I agree with. It's definitely the past timeline leaking into this one. But what's important is what 'unstable' means in this context.

Is it unstable as in multiple timelines can mush together? Or is it unstable because it's able to fix itself with time as it is?

However, it's also important not to put too much weight in Tsukasa's words. Though he doesn't lie very often, he does twist his words and purposefully be misleading, as well as the fact that JSHK is no stranger to having characters just be outright wrong about certain things.

Evidence for this is the fact that upon seeing Amane as a teacher, this is the FIRST TIME any timeline differences have presented themselves. If it were about the festival itself, and nothing else, there would've been more inconsistencies with events. More people appearing and disappearing, more places changing, etc. But there's not. It only happens when Yashiro sees and, noticeably, speaks to Amane.

I believe that what this is, is time itself (personified, for the sake of easier explanation) is attempting to fix the removal of a stationary event. The Clock Keepers removed this unmovable event, and using the time instability, it is perhaps being all focused on fixing Amane's existence. Any existence and interaction with him must be erase, because he should not be alive.

JSHK puts forth the lesson that death is both unavoidable and unchangeable, in the forms of Yashiro's lifespan, Mitsuba's car accident, Hanako's suicide, and Tsukasa's murder. Writing wise, suddenly bringing forth the ability to change people's deaths with time powers would be unwise, and make a lot of the past efforts of characters seem futile.

Also writing wise, JSHK has put so much emphasis on Hanako's death being an unchangeable fact that never doing something with that unchangeable aspect would be a waste.

And lastly, Hanako is, himself, a deeply tragic character. Seemingly destined to die young by countless fates.

If Tsukasa didn't go into the pit, he would be dead before double digits by that sickness. Tsukasa does exist, and there's nothing yet to imply that the sickness was the influence of a supernatural, so Amane would be dead, and there would be no pit to save him. Specifically the entity in that pit was destroyed.

So without the pit and wish to save him, Amane was going to die young anyway. So logically, in a timeline without the pit, he would've been dead much younger than 13, let alone a teacher.

And the ages don't quite line up, do they? He was 13 in 1969, and at current time in the manga, that's over 50 years later. He should not be a 20 something looking adult.

Because of the Clock Keepers interference, they've made several impossibilities, all hinging on the fact that Amane should not live past 13. 13 is, after all, an unlucky number (The Last Supper, 2012 Apacolypse date, the "successful failure" of Apollo 13 one year after Amane's death [another space reference], as well as many people thinking it represents 'death').

His death is, seemingly, far more important than his life, and necessary for time itself.

[arriansarchive]

Enoch O'Connor/Horace Somnusson

RAAAAAH 🔥🔥💥💥 The story has been decided

Honestly, enorace is probably my favorite ship..

It and jillard switch out every now and then

Love them both though

Set in Jacob's house after the third book since that's my favorite setting of all time

Can you tell I'm American by the dialogue???

Didn't know how to end it sooo forgetful Enoch I guess

EDIT... I READ THIS ON MY CHROMEBOOK AND I SWEEEEEEAR TO ALL PC READERS THAT THE NUMBERS WERE CENTERED

Summary: One Enoch tried to give Horace a gift and one time he succeeded.

-0-

It was a cold night in the broom closet where Enoch chose to stay in Jacob's gigantic house. The blankets were crowding him, and he just needed to escape.

Jacob had told him that the basement was also a place that he could go to work on his homunculi. Climbing out of the nest of blankets and pillows he had made, Enoch opened the door slowly.

He listened closely for any sign of footsteps and came up clear. His socked feet padded on the wooden floors. He was used to living in a space with toys all over the floor, so it was a relief not to have to watch where he stepped.

Now, Enoch didn't really want to work on his homunculi per say. He actually wanted to work on a gift that he had been conjuring up in his mind for a while.

Birthdays hadn't been celebrated for centuries in their original home with Miss Peregrine; but now that it was the present and all their clocks were reset, they could finally have the glory of birthday parties.

It was March third. March fifth was his.. something's, Horace Somnusson's, birthday. He supposed that Horace thought that Enoch was his best friend; he certainly acted so, but Enoch thought something more. Something he could never say.

So, obviously, he was going to make Horace a gift. Stupid, stupid Horace who always got red in the face whenever Enoch did something for him. Enoch didn't understand one bit why he couldn't just take the generosity and laugh at it. Meanly.

He never understood kindness or generosity until he met Horace, anyway. The boy had so much love to give, even to Enoch, that it was sickening. That's why he was trying to repay the ugly gift.

He downed the stairs two at a time, trying to get down quickly but silently. Nobody could catch him making a gift; he'd never hear the end of it.

He quietly opened the basement door, creeping past various sets of tools and the damaged car that they still hadn't replaced after they sent Jacob's parents on vacation. It's not like they planned to let them come back.

"Finally." Enoch whispered, coming to an empty work bench.

He pulled materials out of his pocket which consisted of: black fabric, white fabric, some random assortment of sewing materials from Jacob's mom's room, clay, and a flower. Oh, and a mouse's heart. Just the essentials.

He stumbled with the fabrics, poking himself with the needles a few times, but it got done nonetheless. He held it up with two fingers carefully. A small, horribly sewn suit that was made to fit on a homunculus.

Yes, that's right, his gift to Horace was going to be one of his little army men. Enoch grabbed a random cardboard box beside him and shoved the little man into it, closing the box hurriedly.

"Perfect." He chuckled with wiggling fingers.

Enoch decided he was going to give this gift to Horace tomorrow, so it could be more special than his other gifts. Jealous, yes, but it would pay off.

Now, he just had to wait.

-1-

Enoch woke up and cracked his neck from lying his head on the desk all night. He hasn't even realized he fell asleep. The banging from the cardboard box he shut last night blew him back to reality.

It's time for the gift of his life.

He trudged up the stairs, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. The box was thudding around in his hands; it wobbled him slightly. He spotted Horace in Jacob's kitchen, some of the others standing around him, hovering over the food.

Enoch stopped in the next room over, tapping his foot on the ground as he tried to find out a way to get Horace alone. A slow, evil smile spread on his face whenever he thought of his idea.

Reaching his hand out to the vase beside him, he knocked it over loudly. He suppressed a chuckle and his behind the corner, knowing Horace would come and check it out.

"What was that?" He heard a fiery, female voice ask.

"I'll go check it out. It is my house, after all." An uncertain voice said.

But it wasn't a good uncertain voice. It wasn't Horace. It was Jacob!

Jacob came into the room, and his eyes narrowed when he saw the vase, almost as of he knew that Enoch had been the one to knock it over.

Immediately rounding the corner, he spotted Enoch against the wall, looking guilty. Jacob huffed and crossed his arms.

"Really, Enoch?" He paused to run his temples, "What is wrong with you? What is that box?"

Enoch scowled and looked around the room to avoid Jacob's eyes, clutching the box tighter in his arms.

"It's a bunch of organs that I'm going to spread around your pillow tonight if you don't buzz off!" He spat angrily.

Jacob rolled his eyes, pointing the the banging box. "Whatever you say, but I don't think organs do that."

Enoch jerked the box away from Jacob's accusing finger and walked away, clambering up the stairs to his broom closet. He'll store his gift in there tomorrow. His gift will just have to be normal, he guessed.

-2-

Enoch sighed, grabbing the box out from its hiding place on one of the shelves in the broom closet and prepared to bring in down to Horace's room. He had one last chance to make his gift special.

He would give it to him before anyone in the house woke up.

Quietly closed the door and shushed the little homunculus in the suit before padding quietly down the hallway in his cartoon socks that used to be Jacob's.

Horace's room was on the right next to the bathroom. Enoch entered quietly, hoping he wouldn't be asleep.

Much to his delight, Horace say on the side of his bed as he looked in the mirror, fixing his hair. It was tussles, and he looked a mess, but something in Enoch really liked that mess.

"Hey!" Enoch whispered, crossing the room swiftly.

Horace jumped and looked at Enoch with a hand on his chest. "You had me petrified, Enoch! You need not do that ever again."

"I need not do a lot of things that I do."

Horace rolled his eyes, but he stopped whenever he saw the box that was thudding from the inside that's in Enoch's arms. His eyebrows raised slightly as he pointed to it.

"Are there organs in there?" Horace asked.

"I don't think organs do that." Enoch shrugged. "But it is for you."

Horace smiled and stood up from his bed. He took the box from Enoch, caressing the side. He had such a sincere smile on his face that it made Enoch want to puke.

Horace opened the box, and the grin got even wider. It seemed like it would stretch from ear to ear. He put his hand in the box, pulling out the fancy homunculus.

His cheeks got all rosy, and it made Enoch scowl even harder. The little homunculus wrapped it's little arms around Horace's long fingers in a hug.

"It's so cute, Enoch! I love him." Horace cooed.

Enoch rolled his eyes fondly. "I suppose you've already named him?"

"Not yet, but I definitely will." Horace giggled.

He giggled!

Enoch coughed a little to hide the smile that was spreading across his face unwillingly. Seeing Horace so happy had made something in his presumed dead heart start to flutter.

Horace looked Enoch in the eyes, and his grin lowered into a calm, still happy smile. "You know, despite your outward look on life, you're quite the romantic."

Enoch's eyes widened.

Oh yeah, he forgot. Horace has asked him out five days ago. Somehow he was always forgetting.