#something something vulnerability

[kinxrd]

Thinking about...the evolution of Buck's name and the decision for Tommy to call him Evan...

Like Buck isn't this big meaningful nickname at first, right? He's just handed this nickname (because he specifically says "everyone calls me Buck now" instead of "I go by Buck now" or something) because there were 3 other Evans. It's just a way to separate him, to not get everyone mixed up at the academy or whatever. He likes it, he likes being called Buck, but he's not attached to it yet. There's no importance to it.

And then years go by. No one’s called him Evan for ages and he's settled into it. It becomes something to him, its his identity. He tells Maddie that being a firefighter is his life, that he doesn't have anything else, and so of course being Buck is also his life. It's linked, it can't be separated. He tells his parents it's "what people who know me call me." Evan isn't who he is anymore.

Then there's a shift. Eddie gets shot, and Buck gets lost, and Eddie brings on this shift that changes the entire meaning of Evan. "Because, Evan," he says, because "Buck" doesn't need to hear this. This raw, uncensored vulnerability is not meant for Buck, because Buck is the strong firefighter. He's cocky, he's confident, he's reckless, he puffs out his chest and he brushes everything off with nothing more than a hand wave.

Evan is softer. Evan is the vulnerability and the insecurity. Evan needs to know that he is valued, that he's wanted. Buck knows he is. He knows his people are there for him, that they need him. But Evan?

And so when Tommy comes around, and he calls him Evan, there's no pushback. There's no correction. And sure, maybe its because Buck doesn't know Tommy all that well, being 'Buck' to this guy isn't all that important, but maybe its because Evan needs the patience and guidance that Buck is too confident and aware to accept. This softer part of Buck, this part of him that reaches deep and hits the most sensitive part of his core...it really needs this.

Because Tommy is temporary. He will move on, and they'll go their separate ways, but the things that Buck has learned from him, they need to be taught to Evan. Evan needs to be okay with himself so that Buck can keep going.

[onion-xiv]

He slept, curled like a kitten, his brow nearly touching mine, on the other end of his pallet. His breathing was deep and even, and one long hand was palm up on the blankets between us, as if in offering, or beseeching something of me. Sleepily I reached over and set my hand in his. He did not seem to wake. Strangely, I felt at peace.

[jopzer]

something interesting about jamie always wearing sleeves. idk what's up there but it gets me. seeing his elbows feels like seeing a victorian woman's ankles

[please-picturemeintheweeds]

I just really keep going back to the intimacy of songwriting (and performing). And how twisted that could get as a diaristic child songwriter who also was participating in the pop culture industry.

[evidently-endless]

i think we should remind musicians they can absolutely make up little stories for their songs btw. it doesn’t have to be about them at all. you can invent a guy and put him in situations to music. time honoured tradition in fact.

[cryptidmickle]

shadow milk finding pv when he was healer cookie is so interesting to me, and full of drama

[rookanisstuff]

coming home

[semiohazard]

they get sooo fucking hissy about each other

[bobbiedebruyn]

it's crazy to me that almost everyone on the team had their own view or lens through which they perceived who jackie was. but what's even crazier is that, out of all of them, natalie probably got the closest to seeing her simply as a person. somehow, it was nat who acknowledged her death, took care of her remains, showed vulnerability and apologized to her. and even months later, you can count on her to keep jackie's memory alive, mentioning her, and still seeing jackie as the captain.

[avenoirn]

to hold you is my only wish

[agir1ukn0w]

Fiyero saying "I better get to safety" when Elphaba touches him, right before correcting himself and saying "the lion cub"......yeah bro I know exactly what you mean🥺

[tapeworrmart]

Over defensive.

Happy Valentines 💖🦂

[fairsweetlonging]

time travel au where liu qingge and shen qingqiu (yuan) end up accidentally traveling a decade back in time before luo binghe was amitted to qing jing peak and before shen qingqiu had his qi deviation, but after their generation has risen to peak lords.

which means, shen yuan realizes quickly, as they're accosted by said peak lords, that he will have to face shen jiu.

as they're being cleared for demonic energy and the likes, mu qingfang of course instantly detects the poison without a cure eating away at shen yuan's meridians. liu qingge pulls a copy of the treatment plan out of his sleeve (shen yuan blushes a bit, did liu qingge always keep that on hand?), and just like in the current timeline, they agree to keep it under wraps.

shen jiu tries various times to get a moment alone with shen yuan, but he never quite manages because liu qingge is there, who is also... nice?? to him?? for some reason?? shen jiu gets a bit flustered at the solemn politeness and skitters off.

it comes out pretty quickly that shen yuan has "memory loss", and thus can't remember anything that's currently taking place in this time. shen yuan expects scorn, hatred and disdain from shen jiu, expects to be grabbed and interrogated, to arouse suspicion.

but shen jiu looks....... sad???

being transported here threw shen yuan's qi off-balance (even liu qingge had to sit down, which means it's bad), and his cultivation is already so unstable, so when the peak lords are all squabbling and arguing and threatening and raising their voice, he can feel his body shut down. he sees yue qingyuan start to move towards him, which, knowing the future yue qingyuan, he really isn't up for right now—but before the sect leader can get to him someone else is at his back, transferring him qi, holding him up gently by his shoulders, then coaxing him up, leading him outside

shen yuan's been fed qi by every peak lord at least once. he doesn't recognize this one. that means it can only be one person.

he looks up. it's shen jiu.

and it's bizarre, getting fussed over by the scum villain, having gentle hands run along his back, his hair, that clear, soothing voice calming him down. and somehow shen jiu knows exactly what to do?? somehow it works perfectly on him?? it's almost as if shen jiu has known him his whole—

oh.

bodies, like homes, hold memories, even if the original occupants are no longer there. it's the milestone marks on the doorpost that chart a child's growth, blurry photographs faded by time, scuffed floors from well-walked paths, and tiny holes in the walls where pictures once hung.

shen jiu takes him to the bamboo house, pours him tea, and asks, calmly, what he remembers from their childhood.

it's not his childhood, so shen yuan doesn't actually remember anything, but the body he's in does. the memories it holds are emotional rather than visual; he remembers being alone, scared, and hungry. he remembers anger, pain. a dark room. loud voices. he remembers his heart skipping a beat when heavy boots stomp his way. the sound of a whip.

he doesn't have to lie. the memories aren't his own, and they're from long ago, which means shen jiu has them too. and, he supposes, this is his only chance to find out what really happened.

but shen jiu doesn't say anything about it. he just nods and stares, intensely. then he asks shen yuan if he remembers yue qingyuan. shen yuan says no, he doesn't. the conversation takes a very strange turn after that. shen yuan can't help but feel a little queasy when shen jiu asks him if yue qingyuan has taken advantage of his memory loss.

"has he come into your home? has he brought you gifts, sweets? does he invite you for tea? did you accept?"

he has. shen yuan doesn't know why that would be a problem, the sect leader has been nothing but kind and helpful and patient. and generous, too.

when he says yes shen jiu looks furious.

liu qingge (his one) comes to pick him up, and his time with shen jiu is cut short. somewhere he's glad, cuddling into liu qingge's back as he holds him while they fly. he feels a little bad for yue qingyuan, knowing he's probably caused a big fight, but it doesn't sit right with him. he wishes he knew what happened.

.

liu qingge, meanwhile, is having the time of his life fighting himself. it's good practice!

[hunihimig]

Windbreaker Art trade with @officialmiintee 🌱🍓🐈

cutting classes to pet cats

post-patrol cooldown with kitties!

[strawbyarts]

at least they have each other

[fan-a-tink]

this moment is so gentle and domestic and I love it so much...

Merlin & Arthur | 4.03 "The Wicked Day"