#sometimes i feel like they don’t really like me (their son is in the same grade as my sister and they don’t have other children)

[gutsby]

Ruined!

Pairing: dbf!Joel x Reader

Summary: Joel is an old man who struggles to cum sometimes. You’ve got time to kill and a tight hole to fill.

Warnings: 18+. Peepaw brainrot + a dash of anorgasmia. Unprotected p-in-v, cockwarming, age gap, daddy kink.

Note: Finals are whooping my ass left & right. This is a quickie.

Word count: 1.2k | Part of the Waiting Game ‘verse

Surely he was hurting you now.

Joel Miller had a kink for many, many fun activities, but splitting a sweet young thing like you over his cock to the point you were almost in tears was just not one of them.

At the same time your poor, surely-bruised walls pulsed around his hardened length, he felt a pang of guilt. His balls were pressed against your ass like two lead weights, soaked with the remains of your third release, and his mind was at war with itself—keep fucking you like this? Pull out and offer his sincerest apologies for not being able to cum? A boy your age would’ve never had you waiting around like that, aching around his cock, much less begging for something as simple as a cumshot.

He decided to go straight to the source. Leaning over your prone body on the bed before him, he was careful not to rut his hips or jostle his dick around too much.

Joel pressed a hot, stubbled kiss to your cheek, then:

“‘S’it too much, baby? She need a break, maybe?”

Joel thumbed at that space where your body ended and his began and nearly lost his mind to the pearly-white slick that had accumulated with time. Two hours time, he had to remind himself while you moaned and writhed and bucked your ass back. Your cunt was choking him.

Crying, too.

Your eyes flew open the moment his words reached you.

“You kiddin’ me, Miller?! I could do this shit all day.”

Sometimes Joel forgot you were only in your twenties. Really, the thought only occasionally crossed his mind in moments like these—or when your father, his best friend, happened to bring you up—but when it did, it hit him hard. You were young. Lively. Surely far too spry and full of life to be messing around with a man as old as him.

Joel’s guilt ran almost commensurate with his pleasure when he felt you anchor your feet on the bed and start to fuck yourself back and forth over his still-throbbing dick.

Almost.

He planted a hand beside your head and grinned. He let you fuck him. Felt you pull off, crawl up the bed a little, then beckon him back to your body, where your ass was now pointing up and your back was arched in invitation.

Almost.

“You know I can’t sleep without your cum inside me.”

And you made a point to spread your knees and look behind you with a smile as sweet as Milo’s tea, fingers drumming a beat against the bedspread in anticipation.

“You do wanna fill me up, don’t you, daddy?” you teased.

Yeah, no. The guilt was gone. Joel could worry about being a depraved old man when he was done cumming.

Then he was back inside you, driving his hips until every last inch of him was wrapped snug within your wet and velvety embrace, and he sighed. A real protracted one, like the kind he was liable to exhale after climbing two flights of stairs, or else just hoisting himself off the sofa. Or lifting you in his arms and fucking you hard against the hood of his Bronco. Any time. Any place. You were kind enough to oblige him with the best cardio of his life, so the least Joel could do now was make you cum again.

He snatched your hands up in one of his own and placed your wrists at the base of your spine. With his other, free set of fingers he took to rubbing your clit gently.

“SON OF A—”

“—good girl.”

You let out a bloodcurdling scream into your pillow and secretly hoped this man’s dick would never deflate again. Not with the way he was sawing his thing back and forth and dragging you to the edge, circling your clit like you were the single most precious thing in the world to him.

“Oh, sweet pea, I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

Like he could feel the tears staining the cushion himself.

“Mmrooonme,” you cried into it, voice garbled by cotton.

“What’s’at, honey? Can’t hear ya.”

Joel then bent at the waist, pretending to be leaning in to hear you better, when really he knew he’d be digging in your guts with that big, bulbous head of his and making you squeal again. Hands still held captive behind you, you inched your chin back on the pillow so your moans could be heard even louder while Joel sped up.

“You— ruined me,” you repeated. Now clear as ever.

Joel tried to hide his smile and glanced down between your body and his. Then, while his ring finger joined the other two to make their tight, light circles, he returned,

“Ruined? Pussy feels just fine t’me.”

You’d kill him if he wasn’t so good at this. You turned your head more to meet his eyes from the corner of yours.

“No. Ruined me. For anyone else.”

Probably forever.

“Good.”

You knew he liked it that way.

You saw it in his eyes. Felt it in his touch. The hefty, broad, and greying Joel Miller had been loafing around on this earth long enough to know how to claim what was his. When his hips knocked yours to lay you flat on the bed, you already knew what was coming next.

First, his arms came to rest on either side of your body.

“Shit,” you whimpered.

Next, his lips went trailing down to your ear.

“Just a little more, sugar—that’s it,” he murmured while his hips sank in, and you felt that big, delicious stretch.

Then he released your hands so they were free to squeeze the sheets, and when they did, his moved over them—lacing his fingers through your own—and his lips pressed a kiss to your jaw. He held you in a tender grasp. His breath was hot on your neck, and the whole of his body was blanketing yours. Joel knew you liked it like that, which is why he made sure not to leave an inch of space in between. He was grunting, rutting, holding you close while his cock drilled a maddening pace inside you.

“You ruined me too, y’know,” he mumbled into your skin.

His nose was flush with the side of your cheek, nudging inward. Begging you to turn your head just a little more so he could kiss you. Weak as you were, you obliged.

And you moaned against that grey, stubbled chin of his when the thrusts above you had your cunt grinding the bed, rubbing that soft and helpless nub on the sheets.

“C’mon— let daddy have it,” he growled, “Let daddy have it and make it his, huh? That okay by you, baby?”

It was.

More than okay, as confirmed by the orgasm that tore through your body moments later while your teeth sank into the flesh of Joel’s lower lip and your cunt clenched and soaked over him whole. Joel wedged his tongue in your mouth and fucked you through it. His broad and callused hands were like iron around your own, holding you tight and keeping you still amidst a maelstrom of pleasure that combed over your every last nerve.

He licked into your mouth. Licked over it. Took the sick and distinct pleasure of knowing no one but him got to see you like this, with your jaw hanging slack and your eyes rolling back and your whines repeating quietly, ‘Daddydaddypleasedaddyfuckohfuckdontstop.’

Maybe ruined wasn’t such a bad thing to be at all.

[discotitsposts]

meant to be

Spencer trying and failing to flirt with you because you are oblivious to his attempts.

spencer reid x reader

i picture this as later seasons spencer maybe sometime around 12-14?

some mature themes mentions of sex at the end so 18+

writing this because i saw something about people who are bad at flirting and that’s literally me. (i hope ppl get the reference w the nickname)

Spencer had tried every day to get your attention romantically. It didn’t work. Nothing did. You were so oblivious to all of his flirting attempts. He figured maybe you had trouble understanding so he worked harder to make you think of him as more than a friend. He tried everything his genius brain could come up with.

He even made up a nickname for you, Bean, because you always had a coffee in your hand, and because he was taller than you.

Today you were getting coffee with him as usual. At your favorite coffee shop and library. You didn’t work at the BAU so you would eventually have to go to your own job so Spencer decided to try again.

Since you lived in the same building, neighbors in the same hall, he picked you up every morning. Drove you to get coffee and you each picked a book for each other and then he drove you to work.

He knocks on your door awaiting anxiously. You come out in your outfit, just a t shirt and jeans. you didn’t have a dress code at your job, you were an author and usually went into a nice office that the publishing company provided to write since you had a hard time focusing in your apartment. Too many distractions.

In Spencer’s car you make small talk as he tries to think of a way to flirt with you. Normally he’d call Morgan but his son was a toddler now so he was busy. He gets so lost in his head he doesn’t realize he just ran a stop sign on accident and almost hit someone.

He hears you yell “Spencer what the fuck!” and slams the brakes. The other car honks and his heart is pounding in his brain. He pulls to the side of the road and stops.

“Spencer. Breathe. It’s ok.” You worry tracing your face at the sight of his extremely fast breathing and you rub his back reassuringly.

“Holy shit.” He barely chokes out. His face is beet red and he looks like he’s about to have a panic attack.

“Switch.” You tell him. He looks at you and feels comforted immediately by your face. “Let’s go, switch.” You get out of the car and switch sides.

‘So much for flirting’ he thinks. Then it hits him. When he picks your book for the day, he’ll give you a romantic story. Something that says ‘I really like you but I’m an idiot so I don’t know how to tell you but i’m not actually an idiot because im technically a genius but my fucked up life has ruined romance for me but i’d love to try it with you if you are okay with that.’

When you take over driving you don’t talk. You just focus on the road. You had even turned the music off. He hopes you’re not upset with him. That thought quickly dissipates when you pull into the parking lot and your face is beaming. You both race to the entrance and he gets there first and opens the door for you. You stick your tongue out at him and he smirks.

You order your usual drinks and he gets himself a breakfast bagel and you get a croissant. He puts the food at a table and you both get up to grab each other a book. You had yours picked since last night, The Godfather. It’s only a little over 400 pages so he’ll probably finish it by lunch time but at least it will be fun for him since it will make him think of you. At least you hope it does.

You have a habit of making funny commentary during movie nights. When you watched ‘The Godfather’ trilogy with Spencer he had laughed so hard he cried.

Meanwhile Spencer is searching rows of books looking for the right one. He moves to poetry but nothing feels right. He feels slightly frustrated so he moves back to classics and picks ‘A Little Princess’ instead. A favorite of yours you had read in elementary school. Not romantic but shows he knows you well.

When he makes his way back to the register to check the book out, you’re already seated munching your croissant. He makes his way to you and hides the book behind his back. You discreetly pull yours out of your bag and hide it the same way.

“1,2,3!” You both count at the same time and then reveal your books. Spencer cracks up when he sees the book you had picked. He had read this before but he enjoyed it because it reminded him of you. You both eat and finish your coffees. You look at each other.

“More?” Spencer asks.

“Obviously.” You answer. You both stand up and order more coffee.

Back in Spencer’s car you open the book and start reading. He’s about to put the key in the ignition when sudden confidence hits him. He doesn’t know if it’s the caffeine but he doesn’t care. He should kiss you right now. He stares at you until you look up.

“You’re going to be late for work if you don’t start that engine up soon Mr. Chauffeur.” You tease him.

He leans closer and puckers his lips slightly. He’s so filled with lust he just can’t wait anymore.

You look at him strangely. Was he trying to kiss you right now? Probably not. Truth was you were always so filled with doubt whenever you liked someone. Especially Spencer. He was just too handsome and sweet and perfect.

He leans in even closer to you and tilts his head. You, however, had gone back to your book and weren’t even looking at him.

“Does this make you uncomfortable” Spencer leans in closer. He closes his eyes and you lean down to reach for something from your bag. He doesn’t feel your soft lips on his and thinks he may have missed your face. He opens his eyes.

“Everything does. I have anxiety Spencer. All the time anywhere day and night. ” You reply while eating a yogurt you had found in your tote.

Spencer pulls away and smacks his forehead. He starts the car and drops you at your work and drives to the BAU feeling defeated. What would it take for you to realize how bad he wants you.

That night he decides to drop by your apartment. You had gotten a ride home from work by a friend tonight. He opens his door and walks the short distance to yours.

When his hand knocks on your door he feels nervous. You open the door and greet him.

“Hi!” You cheer.

“Hey, I was gonna order a pizza. You want?” He lies. He actually wasn’t the biggest fan of pizza. He didn’t eat it too often but it was your favorite food so why not.

“That would be great. I’m starving.” You clutch your belly dramatically. Which makes Spencer laugh.

He picks up the phone, “What would you like on the pizza m’lady.”

You tap your chin and think. “Sausage.” You reply. Spencer thinks of a way to flirt. Kind of.

“How much sausage would you like?” He asks smirking.

“Uhh, 5? I don’t know dude. The normal amount that goes on a pizza?” You answer sarcastically, going to your dvd rack to pick a movie. Spencer sighs. He calls and places the order and helps you pick a movie.

“How about ‘How To Be A Serial Killer?’ That’s a good one. I love Matthew Gray Gubler in this one so much.” You fan girl a little.

“Who the fuck is Matthew Gray Gubler? Also, no, not with my line of work. I need a break from that.” Spencer asks with a hint of jealousy in his voice. You clasp your hand over your heart dramatically.

“Ok, fine. how about a Disney Classic? Sleeping Beauty is my favorite.” You ask. Spencer nods. You put the movie on and grab two root beers from your fridge. Spencer thanks you when you hand him one and you lay a big fluffy blanket over you both. Not far into the movie the pizza arrives and you cheers Spencer with your pizza slice.

After you both eat and are full the movie is still on. You’re starting to feel sleepier by the second. Spencer offers you to lay with him and you take him up on it. He’s basically a giant teddy bear. He’s so warm and comfortable.

“I’ve got a real life sleeping beauty right here.” He whispers to you. You smile with your eyes closed. Too sleepy to open. He gets out from under you, to your dismay. He cleans up the trash from eating. He even washes some dishes you had left sitting. When he comes back, you’re still half awake. He sees you sneak an eye open to look at him and your smile after.

“It seems there’s a fair maiden who has fallen asleep. However can we wake her? What if she sleeps for a hundred years?!” He exclaims. You start giggling softly. He leans closer to observe you.

“I don’t believe it! She’s laughing in her sleep! Must be quite a funny dream. Wonder what it is. Only one way to find out.” He gently leans down and kisses your lips softly. This action puts you in shock and you’re blushing. He starts to pull away because doubts fill his mind. You grab his hair and pull him back in.

You both pull back and he starts to ask you,

“Were you ok with that?”

You cut him off, “Yes.” Then you rip your shirt off. Spencer’s in shock. He follows your lead and starts undressing. He picks you up and carries you to your bedroom. The kiss you’re sharing is deepening by the second.

“Fuck why is it so hot in here.” You complain.

“I can think of a few reasons.” Spencer had been kissing you on your neck sucking the skin softly. He lays you back on the bed. He makes you comfortable. He goes down on you and then fucks you like you’ve never been fucked before.

The next morning you woke up naked next to him flashes of last night replaying. You couldn’t believe it. Spencer was so passionate! You didn’t even imagine he liked you like that.

He groans next to you and turns over. You get up and put on some coffee. When you come back into the bedroom he’s awake and looking for you.

“Hey, coffee’s ready.” You lean over and kiss him. He groans too tired to give an answer. He pulls you into the bed and holds you longer.

With him, this felt so easy and realistic.

Then you realize something.

This was meant to be.

the end ♡

to anyone who read this far: hope u enjoyed reading!! please let me know if u enjoyed! xoxo

[hysteria-things]

✿ ONE ✿

ʚ♡ɞ 𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓 | 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 | 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 | 𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐓 ʚ♡ɞ

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: chris x reader

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: guess who’s back in town: the sturniolo triplets. it’s for their birthday party their parents are throwing, the same party your parents force you to go to.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: swearing

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1,054

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: we’re locked in on the series, folks!

you can’t go a day without seeing something along the lines of the sturniolo triplets, and it fucking pisses you off.

your parents went to high school with theirs and were really close. your mom got pregnant with you around the same time marylou got pregnant with the triplets, your “best friends.”

the same triplets that left you months ago because of their career of being youtubers. the least they could’ve done was still message you, but no. they unfollowed you on everything.

you texted them multiple times, but all you got was one-word answers or no answer at all. as much as you didn’t want to, you stopped trying after a while because it was no use.

your parents still hang out with marylou and jimmy, sometimes even justin when he’s in town. at least you got one more best friend that you grew up with, nathan doe.

nathan is the youngest out of the four of you. nick, matt, and chris are turning twenty tomorrow and nate’s turning nineteen on the ninth. you’ve been nineteen since april, so you’re right in the middle.

you guys met him in elementary school and he was the last piece of the puzzle. you guys were even called the FOREVER FIVE, something you all made up at a sleepover in the fourth grade.

of course the three stooges didn’t drop him when they left. favoritism, i guess.

you scroll angrily on tiktok. it’s like the app senses your hatred for them and decides to put edits or clips from their videos on your for you page. this shit is definitely not for you.

then, there’s a knock on your bedroom door. “come in.” you call out, and your mother comes in. she sits on your bed and sighs. “what’s up?” you ask.

she gives you a face of sympathy, and it scares you a little. “the triplets are back in town.” she starts, and that gains your attention. “and i want you to come with me and your father to their birthday party tomorrow.”

“no.” you flat-out say. it’s no secret that your mom knows about your hatred either since you cried to her for a week straight about how they abandoned you.

“y/n, please.” your mom puts a hand on your knee. “marylou would love to see you there. she asks about you, you know. she misses you.”

frowning, you start to think. you miss her too. you never blamed her for what her sons did, but you haven’t seen her since they left. she is the sweetest lady you’ve ever met. “and they’re celebrating nate’s birthday, too. you have to at least show up for him, okay?”

you exhale sharply. “okay.”

you pull up to the party the next day with your parents, making your way to the backyard where it’s held. not a lot of people are there, just close friends and family. you scan the area at the top of the steps for nathan, getting disappointed when you don’t see him.

marylou engulfs you in a hug the moment you step on the grass. “hello, sweetheart!” she exclaims, pulling away with a big smile on her face. she places her hands on your shoulders. “how are you doing? you feeling okay?”

“i’m doing fine!” you reply in the same tone, putting on a fake smile.

“thank you so much for coming. i know it’s been a little… strange for you for the past few months. i’m sorry about that.”

“please don’t apologize. you did nothing wrong,” you say and she pulls you back in for another hug.

“if you want, the boys are standing by the chips and dip. if not, don’t be afraid to make yourself comfortable.” she points to the numerous folding tables set up.

god, you missed this woman. “i will. thank you so much.”

you walk over to the table where your parents are, placing your things down before joining them.

“twenty years old is fucking disgusting.” nick rants, dipping a chip in onion dip and popping it into his mouth.

the other two giggle. “yeah, well—” chris pauses when he turns his head and lands eyes on someone. “holy shit, guys.” he taps both of his brothers on the arm.

“look.” he continues, pointing at you from across the way when he gets his sibling’s attention. “we have to talk to her.”

“chris, no.” matt says. “do you not know that she hates us? it was shitty, what we did. that’s honestly my biggest regret.”

“we are petty losers for that.” nick chimes in.

chris crosses his arms. he would do anything to get you back into his life. there was no specific reason why they did what they did. they ghosted a lot of old friends ever since they moved to LA, and you got unlucky. “fine. if you guys won’t, i will. i want to get my best friend back.”

“chris, wait! that’s not a good idea!” the two scream at him as he starts to march over to you, who’s now pouring pepsi into a red solo cup.

you gasp out of shock when you turn around and see a brunette towering over you. “hi.” he says lowly. “i didn’t think you’d come.”

“i came for nate.” you say coldly. “where is he?”

“he has to do something before he comes.” you move over to start walking, but he steps in front of you.

“chris—”

“i’m so fucking sorry.” he apologizes. “we miss you.”

“should’ve thought of that before you woke up one day and decided to pretend i didn’t exist.”

his heart aches at your words. the three of them really are assholes. “can we just start over? please?”

“start over?” you scoff. “we can’t start over after all of that. i practically known you since birth, and you want to start over?”

“y/n, i’m—”

you peek over his shoulder and cut him off. “nate’s here.” you eventually get out of his way and start to head over to nate, but stop and turn back around.

there’s a hint of hope in chris that you changed your mind, but he was wrong. “i kept the note.”

he furrows his eyebrows. “what note?”

ouch.

you laugh to yourself. of course, he doesn’t remember. “never mind. happy birthday.” you mumble, walking off into the crowd.

𝐭𝐚𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭!

@bunbunbl0gs @lexisecretaccx @thy-mission @angelic-sturniolos111 @sophssturn @mattsneezing @janiellasblog @blahbel668 @meg-sturniolo @hearts4chris @mattslolita @sturnbaby @imwetforyourmom @tillies33ssss @sturnifyed @mayhem-72 @ripmattitude @p1xieswrld @alorsxsturn @txssvx @sttzee @multiluvr @delilahprentiss @matthewsspecial @idkhowtosleep @sturniolho

[deanstead]

Welcome Home

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Requested: Yes, by anon

Summary: Sam gets an unexpected call from Y/N, which brings another surprise for Dean

Word Count: 2.7K

Tags/Warnings: Dad!Dean, canon-typical mentions of blood/violence

A/N: In my "everything i write sucks" era but thanks to @seatsbythepit for her consistent beta services! I think this was in my inbox for a (long) while so I finally got this out!

DEAN WINCHESTER MASTERLIST

Sam frowned, glancing at his phone where it was lighting up with an incoming call from a number he didn’t know.

Not many people had this number, so he picked up warily, as Dean looked up.

“Hello?”

There was a short silence on the other end of the line before a familiar voice reached his ears.

“Sam?” 

Sam froze.

“Y/N?”

Dean sat up straighter, his eyes flicking toward his brother but Sam wasn’t paying attention.

It had been more than 2 years since you’d left and not a day had gone by that Dean didn’t blame himself for it. Sometimes, when he lay in bed at night, the last fight still haunted him - the look in your eyes when those hurtful words had cut across the room, the defeated sound in your voice as you looked him in the eyes and told him that if that’s what he thought of you, there was no point to all this.

After you left, he’d spent too many days staring at your name in his lists of contacts, his thumb hovering over the call button. The days ticked by, and soon it was way too late for Dean to call or reach out so he was left with replaying the last conversation you’d ever had like he needed to torture himself to make up for the hurt.

“Where are you?” Sam’s voice pulled Dean out of his thoughts and he frowned. That was never a good sign.

Sam spoke in a low voice before he nodded and hung up.

Dean stared at his younger brother as Sam stood, pausing as his eyes flicked toward Dean who was watching intently.

“Dean, she…”

Dean nodded, his eyes flicking back downward. “Yeah, I don’t blame her.”

“Look, why don’t you help from here, alright? I’ll make sure she’s alright.” Sam said, although he knew it must be killing Dean. 

“Yeah, just let me know what you need,” Dean responded, failing to hide the slight dejection in his voice as Sam left.

“Sammy.”

His name flowed off your lips the moment you opened the door, feeling familiar yet foreign at the same time. Yet, it was really good to see him.

Sam just smiled, enveloping you in a tight hug the way only an older brother would. “It’s good to see you.”

You nodded, smiling.

“You flying solo?” Sam asked, frowning.

You shook your head. “I’m not hunting. Not really. We were just passing through and I wanted to just run, but I… I couldn’t. Now, my friend’s sister is missing and I just…”

Sam raised an eyebrow. “Wait. We?”

You gave him a guilty smile. “That’s why I called.” You paused before continuing. “And why I asked you to come alone. I didn’t think I should surprise Dean out here.”

Sam gave you a confused look and you exhaled slowly.

Without saying anything more, you led Sam into the room, as his eyes fell upon a two-year-old kid. A kid who was unmistakably Dean’s son as he gripped a miniature Impala car in his hand where he was sitting on the ground.

Sam looked at you in surprise.

You nodded. “This is Leo.”

It was probably a Winchester thing but Leo took to Sam almost immediately despite the fact he never let anyone else but you carry him for the past two years. 

You remembered how he’d wail in the doctor's or nurse’s arms but he seemed perfectly content sitting in Uncle Sammy’s arms now, playing with Sam’s hair.

“I was gonna get a friend to watch him, but if he likes you so much…”

Sam looked at you like you were crazy. “You’re not going alone.”

You exhaled slowly and nodded, like you’d already expected this answer from him.

Instead, Sam asked to review the information you had. It felt almost like the good old days, as you watched Sam pore over the notes you had at the small desk at the motel, the only thing different being that Dean wasn’t here and you had a two-year-old who’d fallen asleep in your arms.

You knew Sam was planning to call Dean when he left to get dinner but you pretended like you didn’t, busying yourself with preparing Leo’s meal.

When Sam returned with food for the both of you, you glanced at him and he nodded. “Yeah, I called Dean. Look, you know the research there is helpful. It won’t hurt.”

You shrugged. “I didn’t say anything.”

Sam glanced up at you. “What’s the plan, Y/N? Why didn’t you tell him? Or me?”

You glanced over your shoulder at where Leo was sleeping soundly and sighed softly. “I don’t know. I guess… I guess Dean and I never really had the talk. I didn’t know where he stood with regards to having kids, especially in this life.”

You paused, looking up at Sam momentarily before continuing. “Besides, we’d broken up. I thought he’d try to come and get me but… well, he didn’t. By the time I found out I was pregnant, too much time had passed and I didn’t know how to tell him.”

Sam nodded quietly, letting you continue.

“But I got out. I didn’t let Leo into this part of our life. Until today. And I hate it that he’s here when there’s a nest of fucking vamps right here. I didn’t…”

Sam reached out and squeezed your shoulder. “You were right to call. No matter what, it never hurts to have someone looking out for you.”

You smiled. “Well, I’m glad it’s you…”

“And Dean. Sorta.” You added after a small silence.

The conversation was cut short by Sam’s phone and he quickly answered it. “Anything good?”

You could hear the crackle of Dean’s voice and you felt your heart give a jolt. A jolt that didn’t exactly surprise you. Of course, how could you ever get over Dean Winchester?

You could vaguely hear Dean giving Sam some additional information before Sam hung up, glancing at you.

“You sure about this, Y/N?”

You glanced at Leo before nodding. You planted a firm kiss on Leo’s head, nodding to your friend, Samantha.

“Don’t worry. Sam’s great at what he does. We’ll figure this out.” 

She nodded back at you, assuring you that Leo was in safe hands.

It was your first hunt in a long while, but being a hunter seemed to already be a part of your DNA. 

Armed with the information that Dean had dug up, you and Sam managed to infiltrate the nest, easily lopping heads of vampires off as they were caught off-guard. You were glad Sam was there to have your back, especially when you both made your way to the dead center of the nest. 

“Sharon?” You kept your voice low. 

You headed to where she was huddled in the corner. You didn’t know Sharon well but you’d met once or twice when you’d come up here to meet Samantha.

“Y/N?” 

Her voice shook slightly. 

You nodded. “Yeah. I promised Samantha I’d bring you home.”

Sharon looked around, her eyes flicking to a dead body lying to the side. “They’re…”

You shook your head at Sharon. “Sharon, look at me. We’re going to get you home alright? Trust me.”

“Come on, Y/N.” Sam urged gently. 

Of course, you knew hunts never went that smoothly. 

A growl alerted you that a vamp had joined you and your body stiffened, the grip on the machete in your hand tightening. 

“Sam, get her out of here.”

“Y/N.” Sam’s voice was stressed and you recognized it, the struggle between leaving you here and taking Sharon to safety. 

“I’ll be fine.” You assured him, glancing back at the new arrival.

Sam didn’t answer but you knew the exact moment when he took Sharon and left, their footsteps seeming to echo as they got further away. 

“You hunters are the real monsters.” The vampire droned, staring at you. “Here we are, just trying to survive and you break into our home and kill my entire family.”

You tried to stifle the sarcastic laughter that was at the tip of your tongue.

“That’s rich coming from you.”

You knew it was coming before the vampire twitched, and you swung your machete upward as he rushed toward you. 

The vampire sidestepped, missing the machete by inches as it growled, even more determined to get you.

You stepped back again as it lunged at you, your heart sinking as you felt yourself lose your footing. 

Fuck. 

You rolled out of the way but the vampire was too quick, pouncing upon you. 

You raised your machete but it was too close, the machete inching closer toward you as the vampire bared its fangs at you. 

You held onto a single thought. You had to get home to Leo. 

Then, as if by sheer willpower, the unmistakable sound of a blade swishing through the air before the vampire’s head rolled off its shoulders. 

“Dean?”

Dean had lasted all of five minutes after the last call with Sam before he’d muttered a “screw this” to himself and torn his way out of the bunker and down to where Sam and you were.

You were still stunned as Dean rolled what was left of the vampire off you and helped you up.

“You alright? Are you hurt?” Dean’s eyes studied you, unable to differentiate if the blood on you was the result of any injuries you might have sustained before he’d arrived.

You shook your head. “I’m fine.”

The atmosphere sank into awkwardness as the both of you stood there now in silence.

“Sorry, Y/N. I know you wanted me to sit this one out, but I…”

You shook your head and interrupted him. “No, I… Thanks, Dean.”

You fell back into silence, both of you walking out toward the exit to Sam.

“God, Y/N!” Sharon’s stressed voice made her way to you first but you didn’t miss the surprised look Sam gave his brother even as you were assuring Sharon you weren’t hurt.

You looked up to see Dean quietly heading to the Impala, and before you could think through your next move, you were running toward him.

“Dean.”

Dean paused and turned to look at you.

You took a deep breath. “We need to talk.”

There was a look in Dean’s eyes that sat somewhere between confusion and intrigue.

You looked down at your blood-stained clothes and smiled. “Give me a few hours and I’ll come meet you at the bunker?” 

The words rolled off your tongue feeling foreign yet welcoming at the same time.

“The bunker?” Dean asked.

You shrugged. “Or wherever you guys want. If you don’t want me there.”

Dean shook his head. “That’s not what I…” He paused before continuing. “See you there.”

You watched the Impala drive off before you turned back to look at Sam, who had a small smile on his face, and you knew he’d heard everything.

You’d delivered Sharon safely back to Samantha, who hadn’t asked any questions, just glad to see her sister again. and you even managed to shower and change before Leo even noticed you and Sam were gone.

Now, Sam pulled up outside the bunker and you took a deep breath. 

“Ready?” Sam asked softly.

You gave a short laugh. “Never.”

You felt everything at the same time as you took Leo in your arms and walked into the bunker, the memories seeming to hit you all at once - the way this place made you feel, the laughter in your head that belonged to a memory of the three of you as you sat in Dean's embrace.

Even if this was the same place where things had ended, it was the happy memories that followed you as you walked down the stairs now.

Dean stepped out of the kitchen, freezing in his footsteps.

His eyes took in the sight before him, a kid that looked like a carbon copy of himself except for the eyes that were undoubtedly yours.

“Y/N…”

You cleared your throat and exhaled. 

“Hey Leo, let’s go find you some snacks,” Sam said, reaching his hands out for Leo.

Leo cracked a smile and allowed Sam to pick him out of your arms. “Pie!”

Sam glanced over at Dean, unable to hide a chuckle. “I’m sure we have that.”

The silence that followed was almost loud as Dean looked at you in disbelief and you cleared your throat. “Let’s talk.”

Dean led the way into the library, unsure if he should be pissed or happy to see you.

You leaned against one of the tables, as Dean looked back at you.

“Sorry.” You said quietly, looking down. You knew Dean had every right to be angry and you braced yourself for the rise in his voice but nothing came.

You glanced up at him again, meeting the green eyes you’d sorely missed.

Met with Dean’s silence you spoke again. “I didn’t know how to tell you. By the time I found out about it, too much time had passed since the last time we spoke. I stared at your number but I was afraid. I…” You took another breath. “We never talked about this. I didn’t know if you’d be happy or not and I chickened out.”

“So were you never going to tell me?” Dean finally asked.

You couldn’t really determine the tone of his voice but you shook your head.

“I… I kinda was on the way here.” You said quietly.

Dean’s eyebrows shot up. 

“I didn’t really have a plan.” You said. “Part of me thought if I just drove here, I wouldn’t be able to back out anymore. Then, that nest of vamps kidnapped my friend’s sister so I…”

“So you called Sam.” It was a statement.

You gave him a tentative smile. “Didn’t think you’d appreciate seeing Leo without an explanation in the middle of a hunt.”

Dean exhaled slowly.

“So what now?” Dean asked.

You didn’t dare look up at him, afraid your eyes would give you away. The eyes that screamed how you were still in love with him and that you’d missed him every single day that you’d been apart. The way your heart crumbled every time Leo smiled because it reminded you of Dean, and how all you wanted was to be enveloped in those arms again.

Even as those thoughts ran through your mind, you felt the prick of tears because this was exactly why you’d put off telling Dean about Leo.

“I don’t know, D.” You answered quietly. 

Your voice cracked slightly and you hoped Dean hadn’t picked up on it.

“Y/N.” He called, forcing you to look up at him, even though the tears blurred your vision.

Dean closed the gap between the both of you, one hand cupping your face as he pressed his lips against yours, his other arm snaking around your waist and pulling you closer to him.

“God, I missed you,” Dean whispered, as he pulled away just a little, your faces still pressed together.

You buried your face into his shoulder without saying anything, feeling your tears get absorbed into the shirt he had on.

You needn’t have worried about Leo. You looked at you son clutching the tiny toy Impala while he sat in his father's arms almost triumphantly as they came back in. Dean had brought Leo to see the real thing, and Leo had a ball of a time just sitting in the Impala.

“Mama, can we stay?” Leo asked with anticipation in his voice.

You froze. Dean and you hadn’t talked about anything. He’d kissed you, you’d hugged and then you’d gotten him out of that library to meet his son.

Dean closed the gap between the two of you, putting Leo into a giant hug between the both of you before he reached out for your hand.

“Stay,” Dean said quietly.

You glanced up at him. 

“I’m not going to lose you again.” Dean added, squeezing your hand gently. “Not for anything in the world.”

The words felt stuck in your throat, but you glanced at Leo and smiled. “Yeah, we’re staying with Daddy and Uncle Sammy.”

Dean leaned forward to press a quick kiss to your lips amidst Leo's triumphant yells.

Sam moved forward to press you into a hug. “Welcome home, Y/N.”

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[taleasnewastime]

What if I love you too much?

Summary: Jungkook. It’s only a name you learn after your son kicks his ball over the fence. Before that you only knew him as the hot new neighbour who mows his lawn topless. And though you have no intention of getting to know him anymore than that, inevitably you do. You don’t necessarily fall, it’s too slow for that, but you definitely develop feelings you don’t intend to feel. Because you know men like him, and you know that whatever you’re feeling, he’s probably not feeling the same. All the same, however hard you try, you can’t help yourself.

Pairing: Jungkook x reader

Genre: fluff; angst; smut; single mum reader

Word count: 20.6k

Warnings: Single mum, small fights, explicit sexual content, oral (f receiving), safe penetrative sex, reader thinks Jungkook is cheating/playing the field, angst, but also fluff, child gets injured (though not seriously), talks of cuts and a small amount of blood.

Additional Drabbles!

Authors Note: Happy Saturday! Hope you’re having a nice weekend so far :) 

“Ask him to mow your lawn.”

“What? Rosie, why would I –”

“Because look at your lawn, Y/N,” she twists to look at you with a flat face before looking back out your front window with dreamy eyes. “And then look at him.”

You look at the man in question, every glistening, no-tee-shirt-on, tattooed sleeved, square inch of him. Ok, so maybe you get her point a little. Still, you’re not about agree with her.

“I can mow,” you defend yourself instead. “And my lawns not that bad.”

“But can you mow like him?”

“Anyone can mow like him. He’s literally just going up and down the grass.”

“Y/N. Please. Just look at that body.”

“I thought you wanted me to look at his mowing.”

You catch her rolling her eyes as you twist to sit properly on your sofa, no longer wanting to objectify your new neighbour. You don’t even know his name and yet you’re already ogling at the beads of sweat that roll down the many abs he’s sporting. The feminist in you is ashamed.

“Then ask for some sugar,” Rosie continues, still looking out the window. “Or bake him some cakes to properly welcome him to the street, or I don’t know ask him to look after Zac.”

“Oh yeah, because that’s the way to any man’s heart. Please can you look after my four-year-old child?”

“Alright,” Rosie huffs, finally giving in and twisting to sit by you. “I was just brainstorming.”

“Well, thanks but no thanks.”

You stand, try to focus on the reason you came into the room in the first place. Before you spotted your new neighbour mowing topless you were cleaning the mess Zac, your four-year-old son, had left before he bulldozed his way into the garden. You love your son: he’s cute, caring, behaves and will happily entertain himself when you’re busy, but he has so much energy that sometimes he’s like a little tornado. You’re always cleaning up in his leave.

“You need to introduce yourself at some point,” Rosie continues, her voice taking on a more innocent tone, but you still know her game.

“He’s my neighbour –”

“Exactly.”

“– I don’t talk to all my neighbours. We’ll probably just smile if we happen to get out our cars at the same time.”

Rosie heaves a sigh as if you’re being utterly unreasonable. “You’re impossible.”

“You make it sound like I haven’t been with a man since Henry,” you’re still cramming toys into the plastic box you keep hidden behind the sofa when you say the name of Zac’s dad so miss the annoyed look that crossed Rosie’s face.

“Remind me who again?”

You stand up straight, twist to frown at her. Really?

“And don’t say Cam. We all know that was just a glorified blow job.”

You heat, shake your head as your frown deepens. You tell her everything but sometimes wonder if you should leave certain details out.

“There was Paul,” you begin but are put off by the look Rosie gives you. Ok, maybe she’s right, Paul was the IT guy at work that took you on two dates, the furthest you got was a kiss on your doorstep. “Urm, ok, fine. Though, dating a man is still being with him. But fine, what about Aaron?”

“Arrogant Aaron. That’s one.”

You don’t comment on the nickname, though she may have a point, you have bigger things to think about, your brain churning through the last four years to find any semblance of a relationship that will get Rosie off your back.

“James. One night, but it was good.”

“We’re up to two,” she says in a tone that implies you’re not doing well and need to improve.

“Ryan,” you almost shout the name at her when it pops into your head.

“Was Ryan really after Zac?”

“Yep, I remember Zac waking up screaming right when he was about to –”

“Auntie Roo,” you’re cut off by said screaming child.

Your lips seal shut, you both go stiff, if Zac wasn’t four, you’d both look incredibly guilty. Luckily he isn’t old enough to question it. Instead he does a light jump up and down in front of Rosie, eyes wide and smile broad.

“Please can you play?” The words are a little slurred together in his rush to get them out, some of the letters still not properly forming so when you’re with strangers you have to interpret for him. Rosie is fluent in four-year-old speak and the sentence was clear enough for you both to understand.

“Shall we play out front?”

You shoot daggers at the top of her head. She only smiles.

“But, I wanna play with Baby Boe.”

“Fine,” Rosie says still chipper, she stands to her full height rolling her eyes at you. “There’s at least no mistaking he’s yours.”

You give her a sarcastic smile as she twists and follows your son into the garden, Zac babbling on about something unintelligible, Rosie humming along as if fully engaged. You watch them disappear before going back to the task at hand, shoving the last toys into the box you collapse onto the sofa, happy to have even a minute of quiet to yourself.

Closing your eyes you can hear Rosie and Zac playing house in the back garden with his toy dog, Baby Boe. But there’s also that mechanical sound from earlier. You try to ignore it, but now alone you find it hard. Sitting up straight you make sure you truly are alone before twisting and looking over the back of the sofa.

Your neighbour is still there, on the last strip of grass now. You watch as he finishes, stops the lawn mower and then sweeps a hand through his hair. It makes his abs stretch and his arms flex. It only entrances you more. Rosie is right, he’s hot as hell, but what she doesn’t realise is that you don’t need that in your life. Sex is great, and though you’ve only had a few ‘relationships’ since Zac, there have been enough for you to know that however big the payoff may be, it’s never big enough.

You guess you’ll just have to appreciate the view with this one.

You feel sweaty and tired but unfortunately your son is a bundle of never-ending energy, so here you are kicking a ball around your garden in the baking sun with Zac.

He’s giggling as you half force a smile on your face. It’s not that you’re not having a good time, you love time with your son, it’s more that you’ve been kicking this same ball around for nearing half an hour now. Anytime you’ve suggested doing something else Zac has had a near meltdown. It’s better to play along with it sometimes.

Zac hits the ball towards you, trying to get it between the section of fence you pretend to defend. You leap the wrong way letting the ball hit the fence with a bang.

“And he scores!” You cheer.

Zac screams, hands in the air he does a little running celebration, one he’s done after scoring every goal so far. It still makes you smile.

“What does that make it now, Zac?”

“One million!”

You laugh, fetching the ball and lightly kicking it in his direction.

“Come on then, let’s make it one million and one.”

Zac continues to giggle and run around the garden a little before running at the ball. You can see it’s a bad idea before he even kicks it but are too late to say anything. Zac’s foot hits the ball and it goes shooting towards you. You duck, cover your face with your hands on instinct. But the ball goes over you and the fence.

There’s a beat of silence before Zac realises what he’s done.

“Oh dear,” you say gently, already trying to do damage control.

Zac looks from the top of the fence to your face, his eyes wide with shock.

“It’s ok, we have another ball,” you say.

“But I want my ball,” his eyes are welling up, his bottom lip pouting out.

You try not to sigh and make the situation worse. Instead you go over to the house and pick up one of the other balls. It looks exactly the same, yet Zac doesn’t look impressed.

“This is your ball, Zac,” you try to fill your voice with excitement rather than annoyance. “This one is just as fun. Look.”

You bounce it on the floor before softly kicking towards him. Even you’d admit you don’t do a very convincing job at showing how great the ball is and judging by Zac’s tearful frown, he hasn’t been sold on your pitch either.

“Ok,” you sigh, Zac still looking tearful. “We can go knock next door and ask for it back, but he may not be in and then we’re not allowed to just go around and get it.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s not our house, is it?”

“But it’s my ball.”

“Yes, but we still have to ask nicely for it back, don’t we?” You don’t wait for a response to that rhetorical question, just continue to plough on. “Come on then.”

You hold your hand out and are rewarded with a smaller one placed in it. You head to your side gate, trying and failing to think about what you’re about to do and who you’re about to meet. He’s just a man. Really nothing to stress about. But having Rosie’s words in your head makes it feel like meeting him is something it’s not.

“You have to ask him Zac. So, what do you say?”

There’s a second’s pause filled with the grinding of your gate on the pavement. You look down at Zac when you’re out front and can see his brain working a mile a minute trying to work out the answer to your question.

“You say: I accidentally kicked my ball into your garden. Please can I have it back?”

“I accidentally kick my ball. Please can I have it?” He messes up the pronunciation of accidentally, it’s cute.

“Kicked it into your garden,” you correct as you approach your neighbour’s door.

“I kicked my ball in your garden. Can I have it?”

“Please,” you remind him gently before looking down at him.

He whispers the word back at you, now stood in front of the man’s door he looks a little less sure about the situation. Still, however much you’re also dreading this you’re going to do. it You need to have the confidence for both of you.

You take a breath before looking up and pressing the doorbell. There’s silence as you wait, neither you nor Zac saying anything.

Then the door’s clicking and being pulled open and then there he is. On a slight step above you, you have to look up a little to take in the wide smile he’s showing you. He’s got on a large white t-shirt, baggy black trousers and yet, even though he’s completely covered compared to when you saw him mowing his lawn and the top is not giving you even a hint of what lies beneath, you still feel flustered by his presence.

“Hello,” he says, eyes flicking between you and Zac, smile on his lips but a question in his eyes.

“Hi,” you squeak back, voice too high. “I’m Y/N and this is Zac. We’re your neighbours and uh, Zac here wants to ask you something.”

Both your eyes go down to your little boy who’s now clinging to your leg. He looks up at you unsure, his eyes quickly going to the man and then back to you. Your heart melts.

“Come on Zac,” you say in a far softer tone, your hand going to brush the back of his head. “Can you remember what we said?”

He mutters something that you can’t make out, his lips hardly moving, his eyes on the ground. Still, you look at the man to see his reaction. You’re surprised when you find him leaning in and down towards your son as if to better pick up on what he’s saying. Your heart does something funny and you have to mentally slap yourself to refocus.

“You’ve got to speak a little louder baby.”

Zac addresses you when he says, “Please can I have my ball?”

Well, at least it was louder and he used the word please. But it’s no surprise when you look at the man and he’s looking at you nonplus.

“Zac accidentally kicked his ball into your garden. We were wondering if we could go get it back?”

“Please,” Zac pipes in and while you flush the man seems to light up from within, a mixture of amusement and utter joy at your son embarrassing you.

“Yes, that’s right Zac,” you manage to keep your voice steady. “Please can we have our ball back?”

“Of course,” the man replies, looking between you both. “Why don’t I open up the side gate and you can go find it Zac?”

You look at Zac and he looks back at you unsure what to reply. You give a little nod of your head for encouragement and are rewarded with him looking back at the man and repeating your gesture.

“Give me a sec then,” the man says, standing back straight. “I need to do the bolt from the other side. Why don’t you go wait for me over there?”

You both look to where he points, the gate in question. Zac, now less nervous around the man starts without you. Glancing back at the man to be met with another smile, you swallow before following Zac.

It only takes a second for the gate to grind open. The ally is much like yours, concrete slabs leading down the side of his house to the green of his garden. The man stood in your way bends to look at Zac.

“Why don’t you go run in and have a look? See if you can find your ball in all my long grass?”

This time he needs no encouragement from you. It seems the man has gained his trust in the few minutes you’ve been in his presence. You feel him slip away from you and then watch as he runs down the ally into the garden, leaving you and the man alone. You scramble for words to fill the silence to make it less awkward, hope it doesn’t take Zac long to come back to you.

“Sorry about this,” your eyes flick to the mans which are already on you. “I promise there’s not normally balls flying over the fence.”

“Doesn’t matter if they do,” he replies with a small smile.

Ok. That’s that topic exhausted then with no sign of Zac coming back.

“You enjoying the new house?”

He flicks his head to the side to look at the house in question as if to remember before looking back at you. “Yeah, it’s a great neighbourhood. House needs a lot of work, but I’ll get there.”

“Ah, yeah. I can’t imagine Lindsey and Ron having the same interior style as you.”

“You could say it’s a bit dated for me.”

You giggle, actually laugh at the words as if they’re some amazing joke. It’s more trying to picture this man, this big, buff, man with such a pretty smile living in a house that was previously occupied by two seventy years olds that you don’t think decorated since they moved in forty years ago.

You cut the laugh off short when you realise how odd you must look. The man’s smiling back at you, a different smile to any you’ve seen so far, one you’re sure is him questioning your sanity and who he’s living next to. You cough, shift your weight from foot to foot as you peak over his shoulder praying for Zac to hurry up.

“Well, you’ve certainly managed to tame the front garden.”

“Just the floral carpets to go then,” he smiles at you, his eyes glinting with what looks like a thousand lights.

“Well, if you need a hand with anything, I’m happy to help,” you regret the words as soon as they leave your lips. You really don’t need to get tied up with your neighbour. “Though I have no DIY knowledge, so would probably be no help.”

He doesn’t look put off by your obvious U-turn. “I’ll keep you in mind.”

And you’re screwed. Honestly, is that all it takes? A good-looking guy, some smiles at you and your son and a bit of kindness? Rosie is right, it’s been way too long if a simple smile turns you on.

“Mummy.”

And just like that it’s broken. You bite back the warning of being careful running down the cement paved ally with the ball in his hands. Instead, just smile at your beaming son.

“You found it. Good job. Now come on, I’m sure,” your words slope off, only just realising you have no idea what your neighbours name is.

You look up at him and he fills in your silence with his name, “Jungkook.”

“Right. I’m sure Jungkook has things to do,” you say to Zac. “What do we say now?”

Zac goes a little timid again, squeezing the ball to his chest. “Thank you,” he mumbles before twisting and running back to your house.

“Sorry,” you wince, turning back to Jungkook. “And thank you.”

“It was nothing.”

“Well, thanks anyway,” you grow awkward and decide now is the time to follow your sons lead. “I guess I’ll see you around.”

“I’m sure you will,” he smiles back at you.

Twisting you start walking back to your house, already trying to forget everything that just happened. When you’re safe in the walls of your house you pull your phone out and type out a message to Rosie.

This is why I didn’t want to meet my neighbour.

As usual, it only takes a few seconds for her response to come – you swear she’s attached to her phone.

Tell. Me. Everything.

There’s a knock on your door. You leave Zac colouring on the kitchen table so you can go answer it. You feel relaxed until you see who’s there. Your whole body going taunt at the sight of Jungkook at your door. Mind flicking through the possible reasons for him to be here.

“Hey, I was wondering if you wanted me to mow your lawns?”

It takes you aback, you’re pretty sure you might even recoil a little from the seemingly simple question. It might take a second but you end up smiling, have to bite your lip to hide how amused you are. It’s half due to how nervous he looks on your doorstep, but more because of Rosie and your conversation from when you first saw him. He must take your beat of silence the wrong way if his increased twitchiness is anything to go by.

“I was just doing mine and thought yours needed doing,” he almost cuts himself off in his haste to clarify. “Not that it looks bad or anything. Just that it could do with a cut. Or more that it saves you the job. And as I was already out doing mine, I thought it would –”

You properly laugh now. Loud enough to cut Jungkook’s ramblings off. He looks like he’s about to throw the towel in and head home but you stop him with a wave of your hand.

“Sorry,” you continue to laugh. “It’s just … of course you can mow my lawn.”

There’s a beat and then Jungkook’s face is turning more serious, a hint of amusement in his eyes as his head cocks to the side. Oh, god. Maybe that sounded like too much of an innuendo. You stand up straight, the laughter dying on your lips.

“I just mean I won’t be offended.”

“Ok,” he says, positions swapped, him amused and you awkward. “Need anything else doing while I’m here?”

“Uh,” you look behind you into the house as if to check before looking back at him. His smile seems to have grown in those few seconds. “Nope. I think we’re all good.”

“Just the lawns then,” he grins, seeming to relax into his position in your door.

“Just the lawns,” you squeak. “Please.”

He nods but still lingers. How does someone go from a rambling nervous mess to this? Though you’ve passed each other coming and going, this is the first time the two of you have properly spoken since Zac kicked his ball over the fence. You wouldn’t have predicted it would go like this.

“Want me to do the back too?”

You almost choke. “If it’s no trouble?”

He shrugs. “As I’m here.”

“Ok,” you look behind you again, for an escape, for a reason to look away from those shining eyes and cocky smile. You’re pretty sure he’s one of these guys that realises the effect he has on people and enjoys it. “Want me to bring you out a coffee or something?”

“I’m good. I’ll just get on with it.”

“Ok, well, thank you.”

“No problem, Y/N.”

You close the door and resist the urge to collapse on the floor.

“If you kick it too hard, you’re going to have to get it,” you warn as you do another light kick of the ball in Zac’s direction.

As if in spite of your words or maybe because it’s no fun not kicking the ball hard, Zac launches the ball in your direction. Still, you laugh as you manage to leap to the side and stop the ball before it goes off down the hill behind you.

“Maybe we should go and play in the back garden?”

“No,” Zac half screams the word. “There’s horrible fences there.”

He’s referencing the time he kicked the ball over the fence and then had to go collect it. Apparently it was such a jarring experience that he doesn’t like playing there anymore, though you would have thought being able to go in the neighbours garden would be exciting for him.

“Ok, then we have to kick a little softer.”

He follows your request a few times before once again deciding playing by your rules is boring. You let it go for a bit, giggling along with Zac as you leap and try and save each of his kicks. You do a few of your own rouge kicks just so he has to run a little and it gives you a minutes piece. Award for mum of the year over here.

You’re shouting something about how great one of Zac’s kicks is when you hear a door slam. You don’t think too much of it until you hear a voice shouting out.

“Already training for the Premier League?”

You look over to the voice and are met with a beaming Jungkook slowly walking towards you, baggy trousers and just as baggy a top blowing in the breeze. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him not smiling.

“I think we still have a way to go if that’s the aim,” you joke back, looking back at Zac just in time to see him kick a ball that goes miles to your right. Luckily, it’s not a missile like some of his others, but it still feels embarrassing having to jog after the ball with Jungkook now as an audience.

By the time you have the ball back in possession and are back to where you were once stood Jungkook is only meters away. Still smiling and you catch the end of him telling Zac what a great kick he just did. He goes shy, something you always find funny as he’s always a screaming ball of energy around you and other’s he knows, you love seeing this other side of him. Still, it means you need to hold the confidence for both of you.

“Is there room for one more?”

The question takes you off guard, even though he’s made the effort to walk the short distance to be stood here.

“Uh, sure,” you say then look at Zac. “That’s ok, isn’t it Zac?”

Zac doesn’t look sure but luckily he’s currently too shy to dispute you. You also don’t give him much time to disagree with you, lightly kick the ball in Zac’s direction before he can think.

He’s gentler when he kicks it back to you, his aim surprisingly good for once. You feel a small amount of pressure when you kick the ball to Jungkook, trying to include him. It feels like when you were once in school and were laughed at for throwing the rounders ball miles off the mark. It doesn’t go badly, though Jungkook has to step a little to his left to pick it up under his feet, he expertly flicks it between his feet and then knocks it on to Zac.

Zac looks mesmerised by the simple move that you’d never be able to replicate. You can see his nerves slowly cracking with a small smile going to his lips. He still kicks the ball to you, but as the game goes on and as you and Jungkook try to change the direction a few times, Zac finally completely lets loose.

He’s giggling and doing big kicks again. He’s laughing at Jungkook doing more little tricks with the ball before he kicks it on. And he even starts to shout little bits, imitating the words the Jungkook cries out, what a save, that was close, such a good touch.

Soon enough you’re out, you’ve lost your son to your neighbour and a football. Neither of them are kicking the ball anymore, their running at each other trying to do tackles. At least Jungkook seems to realise he’s playing a four-year-old and not someone his age, his tackles are light and he always kicks the ball a little too far and is a little too slow to pick it back up letting Zac get it.

“I’ll go get us some drinks,” you say to seemingly no one. But you don’t really care because your son looks so happy.

His laughs fill up the street as you make your way back to the house and when you look back you watch as Jungkook tackles him and lifts him up into the air, easily tossing him around in the sky making Zac laugh even harder.

You may take a little longer than necessary to make the drinks.

You’re out-front playing with Zac again. Well, less playing and more sat on the curb watching Zac play. You’ve had a day at work, still need to cook yours and Zac’s dinner but you promised you’d come out and do something first. Given Zac is a ball of energy it’s better to let him get all of that out now, so he’ll go to sleep earlier. That’s always the aim anyway, sometimes it’s just not the reality.

The back garden apparently isn’t good enough for him now. After playing out front and Jungkook joining him on more than one occasion you think he secretly hopes that’s going to happen every time. He doesn’t outright ask for it, but you know your son and you can see the utter joy whenever he gets to play with your neighbour.

You watch Zac run around with one of his teddy’s, rambling on about how the dinosaur is going to get them so they have to go to the volcano.

Even if you’re not necessarily playing with Zac, you love this time spent with him. It’s always just been the two of you and though that’s been hard at times, there’s never been a moment you’ve truly regretted it. You thought you loved his dad, but that was nothing compared to what you feel for Zac.

The sound of a car pulls your attention from Zac. It’s rounding the corner onto your road, still far enough and going slow enough to not panic you, but you know Zac will be oblivious.

“Zac,” you shout, standing up. “Zac. There’s a car coming, you have to wait on that side of the road for it to pass.”

Zac looks over at you, wide-eyed as he takes in the information. You can’t deny that your heart swells a little at the fact he so obediently runs to the side of the road, even picks the side that’s closest which is opposite you.

You smile at him as the car gets closer but it stops before reaching you. You can see the confusion on Zac’s face about what he should do. The car’s stopped but it’s still so close, is he allowed to continue to play?

“It’s ok Zac,” you say just as the door to the car opens.

Zac runs along the pavement for a second, obviously still not entirely sure, but when the car door opens, he must deem that good enough to know the car’s not going to move again and runs out into the road.

You watch him for a second before glancing at who got out the car. You smile at the woman you’ve never seen before. Dressed in a nice skirt and top, you shouldn’t be surprised when she makes her way to your neighbour’s house. You look away as she goes up his drive and rings the bell; it’s none of your business who Jungkook chooses to spend his time with.

Zac obviously doesn’t feel the same.

“Jungkook,” your son shouts out the name, the k sound more like a g and the last one isn’t pronounced so it sounds more like Jun-goo then anything.

Still your neighbour looks over at the shout. His guest too. Now stood on the doorway, in the middle of greeting each other. Jungkook instantly smiles while it takes the woman a second longer. You just feel mortified.

“Zac, darling, I think he has a guest.”

“But I want to play.”

You glance over at your neighbour’s front door; both are still looking at you and though you’re sure they can hear your conversation they seem to be having their own more silent conversation. You feel hot when you look back at Zac. Though you shouldn’t feel embarrassed, you somehow do.

“He can’t play right now because –”

You’re cut off by a scream that sounds like the name Jungkook as Zac goes running in his direction. Truly mortified now you turn to jog after him, calling his name as you go. You manage to catch up to him as he reaches Jungkook’s lawn, place a hand on his shoulder to try and settle him.

“Zac,” you say firmly but as quietly as you can. Jungkook and the woman can definitely here you, you’re only a few meters away, but you’d rather they didn’t. “You don’t run away from me like that and you don’t cut me off when I’m telling you something.”

He looks wide-eyed up at you, lip pouted as if there are about to be water works soon. He’s at the age where everything he asks, he assumes he can get. No isn’t a word unless he’s saying it. And when you tell him anything other than yes, he gets stroppy. It’s a cute age, but it’s tough.

“I just want to play,” Zac mumbles.

You hold your hands out in a silent question that he accepts. Leaning down you pick him up under the arms. It’s more like lifting some weights at the gym then the baby you once had but settled onto your hip and arms cuddling your side make it all worth it. You’re about to speak words of comfort to him before apologising to Jungkook and his guest but a different voice changes that.

“It’s ok,” you look up to see Jungkook stepping towards you, the girl in his entry way looking at you over his shoulder. “I’d love to play with you too, Zac, but I can’t right now. Can I maybe play with you a different night?”

You feel Zac’s head nod against your chest where it’s lay. You run a soothing hand down his arm while you shoot Jungkook an apologetic look.

“You really don’t have to do –”

“No, I mean it. I love playing with Zac.”

You doubt the twenty something year old really enjoys playing with your four-year-old son. Especially as it has just become apparent he has a girlfriend. But the way he says it and the way he smiles; you can almost believe it.

“Well, we need to get in and cook dinner anyway don’t we, Zac.”

There’s another small nod against you and you look between Jungkook and the girl again. You feel so incredibly awkward, though Jungkook looks a little worried if anything.

“Sorry, for ruining the start of your evening,” you say to them both, twisting and carrying Zac back to your house before you can gain a reply. You’ll distract Zac with food. Your own embarrassment might be harder to hide.

“Hey, let me help you with that.”

The weights that were your shopping bags are lifted out of your hands before you can protest. Soft, warm fingers run along yours to grasp the handles and then they’re gone. You turn to look at the man responsible.

“Jungkook, you really don’t have to,” but it’s like you’re talking to a wall, or more a back, as Jungkook has already turned and is heading to your front door.

“You get the others and it’ll be done in half the time,” he says over his shoulder.

You huff, still not exactly happy with the assumption you needed help, but you don’t audibly protest as you pick up the last remaining bag and follow Jungkook.

“You really don’t have to –”

“Just unlock the door,” Jungkook cuts you off, giving you a small smile and adding. “These bags are starting to get heavy.”

You roll your eyes as you do as asked, placing your bag on the floor before unlocking your front door and letting Jungkook in. He waits for you to come in before he follows you to the kitchen.

“You can just place them here,” you say before turning to look at him.

He’s all smiles again and you’re not sure why you’re so irked by the whole thing. You should be thanking him, but it’s more about what he’s slowly started to make you realise. Zac doesn’t have a man in his life and Jungkook creeping in even in these small ways has made you see how much that might be affecting him. Jungkook hasn’t done much, he’s played football out front with your son, he’s smiled and told him jokes in passing, he’s asked him a few simple questions about his life. And yet your son has lit up with every interaction.

It's ever since the incident the other day when Zac went running to him that got you thinking. You thought you were embarrassed because it looked like you couldn’t control your child, but since you’ve realised that it’s more because you’d started to get used to Jungkook in the same small ways as Zac and seeing him with a woman, presumably his girlfriend, made you realise that Jungkook probably doesn’t feel the same way. You’re just his neighbour and Zac’s just a cute kid. It’s not like you’re dating, or he owes you anything, but having had no help outside your family and Rosie since Zac was born has made even the small gestures massive.

You thought you were enough for Zac. You knew that you were possibly stopping him from experiencing something by staying single or not letting any of the men you’d dated briefly into Zac’s life, but you didn’t think it would matter. And yet so little from Jungkook has shown you how much it can mean.

You don’t mean to be rude or short with him, but these simple acts of kindness are starting to feel like an agenda. Like he’s out to prove that you’re not everything Zac needs.

You can make your son happy on your own. You can play ball with him and have fun and ask him questions about what he likes. You can carry bags into your house on your own; you’ve cooked and cleaned and worked and kept yours and Zac’s lives together longer than Jungkook’s been around. And yet Zac has never run to you the way he ran to Jungkook the other day.

“Zac not here today?”

“His Nan is looking after him.”

You can sense him looking down at you as you start to unpack your shopping. “That must be nice for them both.”

“Yep,” you say popping the p. “Certainly is.”

The silence elongates, tension rising in the gap. You can sense Jungkook watching you even though you don’t look at him as you start to unpack your food. You hear his feet shuffle on the lino floor and can see him leaning against the door frame out of the corner of your eye.

You should break it, should say something and stop being so childish, but you find you can’t, the longer it goes on the more it builds in your head. It’s as if every male that’s been in your life who hasn’t been interested in meeting Zac, everyone that you didn’t feel comfortable meeting Zac, every insecurity you had about stopping Zac from having the chance of a male figure in his life, has built up into Jungkook.

Still, you don’t ask him to leave, don’t say anything, just silently unpack as Jungkook watches you.

“Is everything alright?” It’s Jungkook that finally speaks.

“Why wouldn’t it be?”

“You just seem a little upset is all.”

“I’m fine.”

“Ok. Let me clarify, you seem a little upset with me,” he pauses, when you don’t reply he carries on. “Have I done something to annoy you?”

“Nothing,” you say finally looking at him.

“Just tell me Y/N,” he looks a little pissed himself now and you realise how unfair you’re being. You can think all these things and build it up in your head and realise how stupid you’re being, but to take it out on Jungkook and then not explain why; that’s not fair.

“I just don’t appreciate you coming in and treating me like I can’t lift some shopping bags on my own is all.”

“I never said you couldn’t do it alone. I offered you help.”

“Yeah, ok, it’s fine. I’m overreacting,” you say in a tone to imply the opposite.

“No, come on. That’s not everything, what is it?”

You pause, wondering how much to tell him. “I’ve been looking after myself and Zac far longer than I’ve known you.”

“I know that.”

“So you can stop coming into our lives and being Mr Perfect,” you wave your hands at his whole person at the words.

He laughs, shaking his head. “Mr Perfect?”

“Carrying my shopping in and playing with Zac and acting like you have your whole life together and we don’t.”

“I really don’t know how you got that impression. My life isn’t together. And I enjoy playing with Zac and being around you, but if you’re uncomfortable with that then I can stop.”

You sigh, mentally slap yourself as you twist and pull a chair out. Plonking yourself down you run a hand down your face. When you make eye contact with Jungkook again his face still holds annoyance, but he looks a little softer now.

“Sorry,” you start, body slumping with the all the fight leaving you. “I’m being ridiculous. You don’t make me uncomfortable playing with Zac, I guess I just realised how much he’s grown to like you and yet I hardly know you.” You pause then add with a small smile. “Though you really do look like you have your whole life together.”

Your comment seems to be enough to break the tension. Jungkook chuckles again, this time looking more genuine. He takes the couple of steps to close the distance between you and pulls a chair out so he can sit.

“Well, the first thing I can tell you is I really do not have my life together,” he doesn’t speak as loudly now you’re sat with no background clattering and the wide smile he shoots you has you looking down at your lap to hide your smile. “And you know, maybe we should get to know each other better. We’re neighbours for one, but I honestly do love Zac and if it would make you feel more comfortable then I can do a whole DBS check.”

You look at him, smile wider on your face. He seems to relax at the look, less tense now you’re no longer being annoyed with him.

“You don’t have to do a DBS check,” you assure him. “I guess it’s just been a really long day and my insecurities got the better of me. Sorry.”

“Really?”

“What? Been a long day or are you struggling to believe I have insecurities?”

His eyebrow lifts and you swear his cheeks tint pink. “Well, both I guess.”

“I arrived at work to a snotty email from someone telling me how to do my job and then I didn’t have time to buy lunch so had to have one of the crappy cafeteria sandwiches. To top it all off I had to go food shopping, arguably one of the worst chores.”

Jungkook smiles, nods and waits. You’d kind of hoped you’d be able to sweep the whole insecurities bit under the rug. Guess Jungkook is taking the whole getting to know each other seriously.

“As for insecurities,” you begin, words elongated as you grow more awkward. “I mean doesn’t everyone have them? But, uh, yeah. I mean Zac’s dad has never been in his life and I’ve never properly dated anyone since having him, or at least never thought anyone was good enough to introduce him to. And I’ve always wondered if I’m somehow stopping him from having a second parent.”

Jungkook cocks his head to the side. A small movement as if he’s deep in thought at your comment. Before he can say anything though you let out a small laugh and try to move on.

“Anyway, at least I have lots of food in the house now.”

“Zac’s not missing out on anything.”

The smile dies on your lips. The words are so deadly seriously. Like he means every word. You feel yourself heating even though he’s probably just saying it because he thinks it’s what you want to hear.

“You’re an amazing mum, Y/N. Zac isn’t missing out on anything by just having one parent.”

“Thanks,” you continue to flush. “You really don’t have to say that, but thanks anyway.”

“I don’t have to say it. But I mean it.”

“Well, ok, thanks. Moving on,” you say. “Can I get you something to drink to fully apologise?”

“I wouldn’t say no to a tea.”

You nod, getting up to turn the kettle on. You’ve got an hour of your mum looking after Zac before you’ve got to pick him up. Time you were hoping to spend on tasks you actually need to get done around the house. You can’t retract your offer though and as you settle into easy conversation you find you don’t want to.

An hour passes easily with your neighbour. Laughing and drinking your teas you find you have more in common than you’d have guessed. He’s a similar age to you, took the house on next door because it was within budget, big and something he could easily do up. You normally find that people around your age feel so different in age, are at different stage in their lives as you have so much responsibility in looking after Zac and they’ve just got themselves. But Jungkook feels different. It’s still just him and you can tell by some of the things he says that he’s considering things in his life you couldn’t, but he’s bought a house, has committed to doing it up, has a steady job he wants to progress in. He’s settled. It’s small things but you find your respect towards him grows as well as the amount you like him.

An hour later, you leave him with a wave as you head to your car and he takes the short walk back to his house.

“Oh, who’s that?”

You fight the urge to look as soon as the words leave Rosie’s mouth. You still don’t want to appear too keen around her. Though you and Jungkook have grown closer, there’s still nothing between you and you still don’t want her getting the wrong impression.

“Who’s who?” You ask, playing oblivious.

She waves you over, doesn’t even turn to look at you. She’s in much the same position as when you first spied Jungkook. Body leaning over the back of the sofa, face almost pressed against the glass of your front window. If anyone were to look at your house, her face would be front and centre and while you imagine you’d die at being caught watching your neighbours so plainly, you imagine Rosie wouldn’t care, she’d probably wave at them.

“Just come look. Some girl is going to Jungkook’s.”

“Oh right, that’s probably his girlfriend,” you say flatly, unbothered, though you still make your way over to where she’s sat to take a look yourself.

“He has a girlfriend?”

The question goes straight through you as you watch the girl in question walking up his drive. Ok, maybe it’s not his girlfriend because this girl has different coloured hair, her skin is slightly darker, she’s shorter, just as beautiful as the other girl you saw, but she is not the same person.

“Of course he has the hottest girlfriend.”

The words pang even though you shouldn’t care, you shouldn’t even be looking out the window at her, yet you find yourself leaning forward to get a better angle to try and see Jungkook’s front door. Is he there? How’s he going to greet her?

“That’s not his girlfriend,” you reply.

“What? He’s cheating on her?” Rosie’s interest peaks, if possible.

“No. I mean, I don’t know,” you try to explain, Rosie looking at you with a frown. “I don’t know if he has a girlfriend. Someone came to his house the other week and I just assumed, but that’s not her.”

Rosie hums, focus going back outside. “Well, that makes sense.”

“It does?”

“A man that hot does not just settle down. He’s a player.”

“Right,” you say flatly, trying to keep the disappointment out of your voice.

“And I mean, with a body like that, why wouldn’t he?”

“Careful not to get your drool on my window,” you say as you push yourself to stand, no longer interested in watching whatever’s happening out front.

You go back to whatever you were doing before, trying to get the image of the girl out of your mind. You shouldn’t care. But it only seems to add to everything in your mind, becomes another reason in your mind to not get too close to the man.

“Who the hell talked me into this?” You mutter to yourself as you apply the last bit of lip gloss.

Stepping back, looking at yourself in the mirror, you have to admit you scrub up nice. When you make a bit of an effort you don’t look half bad.

You’ve not been on a proper date in a couple of months. Life has been busy and it’s not been top of your list of things to do, but when someone at work said they knew someone they thought you’d get on with you reluctantly said you’d meet them. Maybe not reluctant, you’re excited to date, to have a night out with someone that isn’t Rosie, to enjoy yourself. There’s just still niggles in your mind about the whole thing.

You’ve still got half an hour before you need to leave. Your taxi booked, completely dressed and ready to go, Zac in bed, all you need now is Rosie to turn up to baby sit for a few hours.

You’ve only managed to take a single breath to try and calm yourself and have a couple of sips of the glass of wine you decided to pour yourself when your phone rings. Rosie’s name pops up on your screen and you smile as you answer it.

“Don’t tell me you’re going to be late.”

“Uh, worse, possibly.”

You sit up straight, move your glass of wine so you don’t accidentally knock it. “What do you mean possibly?”

“Ok, definitely,” Rosie sounds nervous, and you’re not surprised given the desire to kill her right about now. “But, honestly, it’s unavoidable. My car’s died and I thought I could get a taxi but the quote I got was for £50 one way and I’m not saying you’re not worth it, but, on top of it all my mum called and she’s not feeling great and I just thought I’d see if you really need me or if someone else could possibly step in, just for tonight?”

You resist the urge to wipe a hand down your face or pull at your hair; you’d just spent ages so you could look like this. But it sounds like it doesn’t even matter, the date obviously wasn’t supposed to happen. You check the clock, it’s still twenty minutes until your taxi should arrive, still forty minutes until your date.

“I’ll cancel, it’s fine, go be with your mum.”

“What? No, don’t cancel.”

“What am I supposed to do instead?”

“Can’t your mum look after Zac instead?”

“She has book club tonight.”

“Your brother?” She says, her tone already implying she doesn’t hold much hope there.

“Away on business.”

“What about someone from work?”

“Rosie. Honestly, it’s fine.”

“Jungkook,” the name throws you so off you don’t respond immediately. “What about Jungkook?”

“I can’t ask my neighbour to look after my son.”

“Why? They seem to get on great and Zac will be asleep the whole time anyway.”

“He’s probably busy.”

“But you don’t know. You should go ask before you rule him out.”

You chew at the inside of your cheek, torn. You really don’t want to ask Jungkook, but Rosie makes a good point. She seems to cotton onto the weakness and pushes.

“Please, Y/N. I feel so guilty that you might have to cancel this date because of me. I’d ask Jungkook myself, but I don’t have his number. I could find him on Facebook though, just have to hope he sees the message in time but I’m –”

“Ok,” you blurt to stop her.

“Ok? You want me to message him?”

“No,” you sigh, not believing what you’re about to say. “I’ll go round and see if he’s free.”

You can almost see the beaming smile that Rosie is surely sporting. She doesn’t let you hang around on the phone for much longer now you’ve made the decision she wanted. A quick comment to let her know how it goes and a goodbye and she’s gone.

Your eyes flick to the clock as if it’s going to hold some sort of information that’ll help you out. It doesn’t. Just tells you what you already know; you have less than fifteen minutes till your taxi arrives.

Nerves at an all time high you decide the whole thing will only take five minutes either way so Zac is ok in bed. Leaving the door open, you make the short trip from your house to Jungkook’s.

Are you really doing this?

You can hear the noise of the doorbell going around the house. It seems you are doing it.

Sweat builds on your palms. Heat seems to leave your body while gathering in your face. Your throat feels so tight that you wonder if you’ll be able to get any words out if Jungkook answers. Seconds feel like minutes and then when you hear his footsteps approaching they seem to thunder.

The door swings open. You watch in silence as his face goes from curious, to eyes wide in recognition, to a steady sweep of your body. His eyes are still wide when they meet yours but there’s something else in them now as well as a slight flush to his cheeks.

You’re too nervous to take much notice.

“Hey,” you start, but begin talking too fast for Jungkook to say anything. “So, I know this is asking a lot and I want to say straight away that if you’re busy, or if you just don’t want to then please don’t feel like you have to say yes. But I have a date tonight, hence the outfit, and my childcare has cancelled on me and I was wondering, if you’re free, if you could maybe look after Zac? All you’d have to do it is just sit downstairs and listen out for if he wakes up. Again, it’s fine if you don’t want to.”

His cheeks are still pink but there’s a smile on his face now. You honestly have no idea what he’s going to say.

“Y/N, I honestly don’t mind looking after Zac while you go on your date.”

The shock, the relief, the surprise; whatever he see’s pass your face makes a low chuckle leave his lips.

“Do I need to bring anything with me?”

“Uh, no. Not unless there’s something you need?”

His smile is gentle and kind as he looks at you. “Let me just grab my keys so I can lock up.”

You wait the few seconds it takes for him to grab his keys and then watch as he locks his door. You still feel weird as you wait for him, still nervous just in a different way now.

It’s silent as you walk side by side back to your house. You feel unable to look at Jungkook, though you can feel him glancing at you.

“You look nice by the way.”

“Oh, thanks,” your nerves seem to give Jungkook confidence.

“Where’s your date?”

“Just at The Botanist.”

“That’ll be nice. Is it a first date or ..?”

“Yep, first date,” you say as you enter your house. “So, there’s drinks in the fridge and help yourself to any food you find.”

“You might regret saying that,” Jungkook jokes but you’re struggling to find much funny with your emotions all over the place at the moment.

“And I’ll give you my number if anything goes wrong. Like I said he shouldn’t wake up but if he does you can give him some hot milk or read him a book.”

“We’ll be fine, Y/N,” Jungkook’s voice is calm as he leans against the wall and watches you shuffle around the room. “If Zac wakes up, I’m sure I’ll cope. I’m sure I’ll be able to find anything I need and work the TV. My house is literally meters away and like you said I can just call you if I need.”

You still feel almost shaky. You trust Jungkook but it’s one thing to leave him playing with your son for ten minutes out front and wholly different to leave him home alone for a few hours. Still, you trust him and know he’ll be fine.

“Just go and enjoy your date,” Jungkook continues. “Are you nervous?”

“I – yeah,” you admit. “It’s my first date in a while.”

“Well, you really do look great. You have nothing to worry about.”

“Thanks, Jungkook,” you say softly, meaning it for so many different reasons.

“It’s fine. Now, go on, get out of here.”

You do one last sweep of the room, slip your shoes on at the door and the linger for a second. Jungkook’s already made himself at home on the sofa, smile still on his face as he watches you. Your hand pauses on the door. It still feels weird to be leaving. But you give Jungkook a nod and head out the door.

Your key slips on the lock. You sway gently side to side. Closing your eyes, you take a long, slow breath. When you open your eyes, the world is still spinning.

You try the key again. Fingers fumble, it takes a second, but you manage to get the key where you need it. You turn the key, but it doesn’t go as far as you expect. Your hand goes to the handle, you pull down and tumble forward into your house.

Giggling you pull your key out of the door. Why did you think the door was locked? Of course it wasn’t locked.

You bite your lip as you right yourself and try not to slam the door closed. You need to be quiet, Zac’s asleep upstairs and you’d hate to be the reason for waking him up.

You make the mistake of trying to balance on one foot as you take your shoe off. It doesn’t last much longer than a second, you sway so hard that you have to throw your arm out to grab the wall so you don’t wipe out on the floor. You keep hold of the wall as you safely remove your shoes this time.

Shoving your bag on the table by your door you close your eyes for a second, take another breath and then will yourself to go get a glass of water before bed.

It takes you far longer than it should to realise you’re being watched. Are stumbling through your living room to your kitchen when you spot him and you jump in the air.

“Fuck,” you curse, clutching a hand to your heart. “Jungkook. What the hell?”

“Have you had a nice night?”

You huff, a noise that sounds half like a no and half like a yes. “It was ok.”

Jungkook laughs and moves on the sofa so he’s sat up straighter. “That sounds like a rave review.”

You close your eyes and throw your head back. Water forgotten you move towards Jungkook instead, plopping down on the sofa next to him. Your eyes feel heavy but you feel awake enough to talk to Jungkook for a while.

“It was good.”

“But?” Jungkook turns towards you as you lean your head back on the cushions.

“Just that it was just good.”

Jungkook hums and you turn your head on your neck to look at him. He’s closer than you thought but it doesn’t make you pull away from him, however much that wide smile makes your heart stutter.

“You must know what I mean.”

His head cocks to the side. “And why would that be?”

“Because you’re always going off on dates,” the alcohol is loosening your lips, you’d never say anything of this if you hadn’t drunk.

“How much have you had to drink?” He laughs.

“I don’t know,” you shrug. “It was two for one.”

“So that’s what made it a good night?”

You giggle, the noise escaping you with little to no warning. “No, the guy was nice too.”

“Was that opinion formed before or after the alcohol was consumed?”

This time you reach round and slap his arm as you laugh. It pushes you closer to him, the knee you have folded on the sofa pushing into his leg. Your hand lingers on his arm and he doesn’t push you away. You feel the heat coming off him and realise what you’re doing. You pull away and the heat transfers from your hand to your face.

“God, sorry, maybe I’m more drunk than I thought.”

You pull away, twist so you’re facing forward again. Now you think about it your head is really spinning. Looking after Zac tomorrow is going to be fun.

“Want me to get you some water?” Jungkook’s asking the question even as he stands to do just that.

You watch him walk away from you and disappear into the kitchen. He looks so at home.

You close your eyes again and rest your head against the back of the sofa. Water sounds good, maybe it’ll clear your head a little, because now you think about it, being drunk and loose lipped around Jungkook probably isn’t the best decision.

“Here you go.”

A pint of water is in front of you when you open your eyes. You sit up straighter, hold your hand out to take the glass and then down nearly half of it before taking sips from it instead. Jungkook is still stood in front of you, a small smile on his lips as he looks down at you.

“Better?” You nod at the question and Jungkook’s lip curls at the edge. “You ok to look after Zac like this?”

“I’m not that drunk.”

“Ok,” he says with a small laugh, as if he doesn’t quite believe you. “I’ll leave you and Zac alone then.”

He only moves a little, is only standing up straighter, but the movement coupled with the words is enough for you to panic and reach out and grab his hand. Or more grab his wrist. And because he doesn’t move you can slip your fingers lower and land on their intended target.

“Wait. Don’t go.”

His smile has slipped now, his face flat as he stares down at you. He’s not gripping your hand back. You suddenly feel a lot more sober, feel like you’ve made a mistake.

“You’ve not told me how your night was yet,” you say in a much softer tone, your hand slipping out of his.

“I haven’t heard anything from Zac. I even went to look in his room to make sure he was actually there. He’s been fast asleep while I’ve watched trash TV all night.”

You nod, feel like you’re turning into a nodding dog at this point. But you don’t know what else to say. You’ve just asked him to stay and that short, closed sentence is clearly him telling you he’s heading home.

“Well, thanks so much for looking after him.”

“It was no trouble.”

You look up at him, wait for him to move, to leave you sat here alone. But he still doesn’t. It gives you enough confidence to keep talking, or maybe the silence is just eating too much into you that you feel a need to fill it.

“Do you want me to pay you?”

His eyebrows shoot up his head and you giggle, realising what he must be thinking and go on to clarify.

“I mean for babysitting.”

“Oh, no. I was only going to be sat next door doing the same thing anyway.”

“Right,” you swallow, mind whirling. “Well, I still feel a need to pay you back some way.”

“You really don’t need to do anything.”

“But you’ve done so much for me and Zac since moving in.”

“I’ve told you before I like playing with Zac.”

“And the mowing our grass?”

“It only makes sense when I’m already doing mine.”

“What if I want to pay you back?”

“I don’t want anything from you.”

“Nothing?”

He pauses, his eyes dark as he looks down at you. The air seems to thicken and though you don’t know how, you know you’ve got him.

His eyes follow as you push yourself to stand up. He doesn’t move to give you space as you come toe to toe with him. His eyes flick around your face as yours remain steady on his. You don’t touch him straight away, but you get close enough that all you’d need to do is lean forward and you’d be against him.

The silence feels loud now, both of you holding your ground, the anticipation rising.

“Are you sure you want this?” He swallows his eyes flicking to your lips.

Subconsciously you sweep your tongue along your bottom lip and are rewarded with Jungkook unable to take his eyes off the movement.

If you were completely sober maybe you wouldn’t be so brash. If you hadn’t just been on a rubbish date, thinking about how much better it could be if only the person sat opposite you was the man currently stood in front of you, maybe you wouldn’t be this bold. If Jungkook hadn’t been so kind, so thoughtful, so good looking, maybe you wouldn’t be doing what you’re about to do, maybe you’d be thinking twice about what a mistake it could turn out to be.

You close the gap, move slowly to let Jungkook back away if he wants. But he doesn’t. When you’re close enough, he places his hands on your hips and pulls you into him.

He tastes salty, like crisps. His lips mould to yours the way your body moulds against his. Your back arches up into him, his hand goes to the small of your back and his tongue slips into your mouth.

“Are you sure about this?” Jungkook whispers again.

You don’t have time to answer, now you’ve kissed him, you want all of him. You twist both of you so that when you push yourself into him and he has to take a step back, his knees hit the sofa. His eyes are wide, full of surprise as he lowers himself backwards. You don’t let yourself be shocked, this is so unlike you, but honestly you don’t care or overthink it.

Placing a knee either side of Jungkook you straddle him, place your lips back on his as you grind down into him. His hands fall to your hips again, squeeze the flesh there every time you drag yourself over his length. You can feel him, all of him, hard and long, pushing up against his joggers and right into you.

You need him. Now.

All rational goes out the window as you push yourself up enough to try and push his trousers down. Before you can get very far, Jungkook’s hands are encompassing your wrists, stopping you. He doesn’t seem angry when you look at him, there’s only an amused smile on his lips.

“What’s the rush?”

“I –” you pause, it’s enough time for you to come back to reality and realise how desperate you must look right now. You plop yourself backwards, sit on Jungkook’s knees as his hands slip from your wrists to encompass your hands. “I don’t know. Sorry.”

He pulls your forward enough to kiss your lips. You can feel the smile is still there.

“Let me at least go get a condom,” he mumbles.

You let out an embarrassed huff of air, your face scrunching in mortification while Jungkook just chuckles. He moves his hands to your hips, pushes you up and then gently gets you to lay on the sofa while he stands. You look up at him, embarrassed, but still don’t want him to leave.

“I’ll only be a minute,” he says before disappearing from view.

You’re left in the silence of your own embarrassment. Lay on the sofa you keep replaying the last ten minutes over in your head. Sure, it was great, kissing Jungkook has definitely exceeded expectations so far. But what must he think of you? Pouncing on him after a failed date.

You place your hands over your face and let out a small groan, missing the noise of the front door quietly closing.

“Don’t tell me you carried on without me?”

You peel your hands off your face, look up surprised to see Jungkook back. Part of you honestly thought that was an excuse to up and run. But there he is, beaming down at you, small foil packet in hand.

“You still wanna?” His voice drifts off, unsure.

You’re still in shock. But a quick glance down shows that he isn’t lying. His trousers are still straining at the groin.

You look back at his face, suddenly feeling very hot. You nod. Jungkook smiles.

“Good,” he mutters before taking his top off. “Because you still owe me.”

You watch as he takes his trousers off, leaving him only in his boxers. And then he kneels before you. Hand on either knee, he twists you so that your feet hit the floor and you’re sat in front of him. As he toys with the hem of your dress, you dutifully lift your arms to let him know he can take it off.

His eyes are near black, focused purely on your chest and the light lace that is covering you, when your dress is on the floor.

“Were you hoping to go home with him?” His voice is as dark as his voice, a husky quality to it that has you clenching around nothing.

“No,” you say honestly, the word enough to have Jungkook drag his eyes up to yours. “I wore it to feel good.”

He nods. His eyes flicking back down to admire your body. You feel good, slightly self-conscious but you must admit that it feels nice to have Jungkook look at you with that much lust on his face.

His hands reach out, lightly run down your sides at the same rate as his eyes. He toys with your lacy pants for a second, eyes flicking up to yours before he starts to pull them down. You lift yourself up a little to help him and then they’re joining your dress on the floor.

Your breaths come out faster. Your head leaning back into your sofa as Jungkook places his hands on your knees and pushes them apart.

How is this happening?

You can’t believe this is happening.

You can’t pull your eyes away from the sight of Jungkook’s head moving towards you. You swear you’ve had a wet dream about it. And now it’s happening.

His tongue is just as delicate as his fingers as he swipes it through your folds. His hands hold firm on your knees as you try to clamp them together around his head. You can feel his smile as his lips go to your clit, his tongue drawing patterns of the bundles of nerves.

When he deems it safe to, one of his hands moves from your knee and with his lips still on your clit, he begins to push into your entrance.

Your hand flies to his head, pushing him further into you while fisting the strands of hair on his head. You moan at the ceiling and push your hips further into Jungkook.

It feels amazing. He feels amazing.

When he pushes another finger into you the coil in your stomach only grows tighter. You moan out again and then realise that the two of you aren’t alone in this house.

“We’ve got to be quiet. Zac’s upstairs,” your voice is breathy, almost husky.

There’s a mumbled noise against your skin, hopefully in recognition of what you’ve said. And despite your words it’s you that’s the noisiest. You can’t help it, however hard you try Jungkook’s lips around your clit and his fingers inside you make it impossible.

You can feel his lips turn into a smile when you let out a particularly loud noise. You wouldn’t care if it wasn’t for the fact that Jungkook pulls away from you. His fingers still in you, his face looking up at you with a certain smugness.

“How we going to get you to be quiet then?”

As if to prove his point you moan out when his fingers push deeply into you. He chuckles, you frown at him. Hands reaching up, you have to push yourself off the sofa a little to wrap them around his neck to pull him up off the floor and into you.

“Like this,” you say before attaching your lips to his.

This time when you moan out it’s swallowed by Jungkook’s mouth.

He expertly works you both sideways, fingers still in you as he manoeuvres you to lay down on the sofa with him hovering over you.

His hand doesn’t become enough. There’s pleasure there still, but you want more, you want all of him. He didn’t go all the way back to his for a condom for nothing.

Placing a hand on his shoulder you get him to pull away from you. “Where’s the condom?”

It takes a second for him to understand, but then he’s doing a scramble to find it. He finds it between the layers of your dress. As you tear it open, he pushes his boxers down. You try not to be intimidated by his size, because as he rolls down himself that’s all you can think.

He is fucking massive.

Jungkook looks smug when you look back at him, as if he’s seen where you were looking and read what you were thinking. You roll your eyes as you pull him back down to kiss you.

“Just shove it in already,” you mumble against his lips, earning a chuckle from him.

He reaches between your bodies, runs his tip through your folds and pushes just the tip inside you. You moan and arch up into him. It already feels like a lot.

“Sure you can handle it?” He jokes, confirming he knew what you were thinking earlier.

You think he probably has a point. But the desire to prove him wrong, or at least wipe the smug smile off his face, is larger. Wrapping your legs around him, you push him down deeper into you as you push your hips up. He must only move a couple of inches, but it’s enough. This time it’s him, not you, that lets a moan out and you don’t have to encourage him to sink the rest of the way in.

There’s a small pause in movement. Your breaths the only noise in the room. You realise you still have your bra on when you feel Jungkook’s chest move along yours. But then he’s placing his lips against yours and delicately kissing you. Softly and slowly, he begins to move.

It’s not the rough, heavy sex you’d imagined. He doesn’t toss you around, or man handle you. He’s slow as he pulls out and though there’s power behind each thrust in, it’s still not rough. A thought flicks through your mind, it’s more like making love than having sex. The thought there one second and then gone when Jungkook thrusts back into you.

It feels good. His lips still on yours, his thrusts building up that feeling inside you, the small moans he keeps letting out only driving you closer to oblivion.

It doesn’t take long. It’s no surprise. Even if his body didn’t look the way it did, his cock is big enough that he wouldn’t need to have much skill to make anyone feel good. But, as if to make it completely unfair, he knows what he’s doing, knows exactly how fast to go, exactly how deep to push into you, knows where to touch and where to kiss to drive you completely insane.

When you come, you come hard. You become a mess in his arms. He swallows every one of your moans as he thrusts a couple more times and then you feel him twitching in you, his own moans rumbling through his chest.

Still inside you, he rolls you so you can lay side by side. You should go to the loo, should put some clothes on or something. But when Jungkook reaches up to pull a blanket off the back of the sofa over the top of you, you find it hard to even keep your eyes open.

You were hoping Jungkook would be gone before Zac woke up, but when you hear the small feet thundering down the stairs all you can think is how happy you are you both have clothes on.

Zac jumps off the last three steps, a habit you tried to stop early but probably only encouraged him. He runs nearly as far as the kitchen before he realises there’s someone other than you sat on the sofa. He’s too surprised to say anything straight away, his eyes wide as they stare straight at Jungkook.

“Have you brushed your teeth?” You draw his eyes to you. He pauses then with a guilty look nods. “Have you?” You get another less delayed nod. “Come here then.”

He doesn’t move, he knows he’s been caught out. You raise an eyebrow at him and he tries his hardest to hide his smile but fails.

“Go and clean your teeth and I’ll make you breakfast. What do you want?”

His eyes flick to Jungkook before settling back on you. “Why’s Jungkook here?”

Your heart stops before starting at a more rapid pace. “He just slept here last night.”

“You had a sleepover?” He looks hurt as if you purposefully left him out.

“No, well, yes, but it was nothing Zac.” You can feel the way Jungkook tenses next to you, and you know if you were to look at him, he’d be stifling a laugh. “Just go brush your teeth.”

He pauses a second longer, eyes continue to flicking between you but one look at your stern face has him moving back to the stairs.

“And what do you want for breakfast?” You shout after him.

“A ham sandwich, crisps and sausage roll.”

“That’s lunch,” you shout but don’t get a response.

Zac fully out of view now, Jungkook lets out his laugh. When you turn to point your frown at him, you’re met with his face a lot closer than you’d thought. Without much thought he leans in and places his lips against yours. When you stiffen and try to look over your shoulder to double check you really are alone, Jungkook’s hand goes to your head to stop you.

“It’s fine,” he whispers before pressing one last kiss on your lips and drawing away.

You remain stiff even as Jungkook removes himself to a safe distance. It’s just that you’re not used to this. Sure, the morning after stuff is awkward but it’s more that Jungkook looks so relaxed in what should be an incredibly awkward situation.

“You going to go make that ham sandwich?” He smiles at you.

“You going to head off?” You counter.

He raises an eyebrow. “Do I not also get breakfast?”

“Do you want breakfast.”

“Uh, yeah?” He chuckles as if it’s obvious.

You could ask him to leave you guess, but after a moments pause you figure there’s really no reason. Your main worry was Zac seeing him here, but that’s happened now anyway. There really isn’t any reason to force him to leave.

Standing up, you head to the kitchen, Jungkook following in your wake.

“Scrambled eggs on toast?” You ask, already getting the ingredients out, heading to the counter with them.

Jungkook comes up behind you when you’re cracking one of the eggs. His body presses into your back and he leans round to place his head on your shoulder so he can watch what you’re doing. When you twist to ask what he’s doing he only sees it as an opportunity to kiss you.

“Jungkook?” You ask, pulling away.

“What?” He chuckles, staying where he is.

“Zac could walk in any second.”

“I’ll hear him coming down the stairs, it’s fine.”

You’re not as sure and while it’s one thing for Zac to see Jungkook here early, it’s wholly different for him to see him all over you like this. Jungkook seems to get the idea and with a smile and another quick kiss he peels himself off you.

You would never have thought Jungkook the clingy type. But then you wouldn’t have guessed he’d have been so soft with you last night too, so maybe you just have to realise all your assumptions about the man are probably wrong.

Feeling flustered you focus back on your eggs. And when you hear Zac’s feet running down the stairs you realise how unprepared you are for this breakfast.

“Have you washed your hands?” You say over your shoulder.

“What’s Jungkook doing here?”

“I’ve already told you that. Have you washed your hands?”

One glance over your shoulder tells you enough. They’re the words you say before every meal and every time you get the same guilty look. Before you can tell him to go and wash them though, Jungkook’s speaking.

“I haven’t done mine either. Maybe you could show me where the sink is?”

You catch the small nod Zac does before he’s zooming off. Eyes still on the door you miss the fact that Jungkook walks over to you before following Zac and can only freeze when he presses a light kiss to your cheek.

“See, I’ve got this,” he says cockily before disappearing after Zac.

You remain frozen for a few more seconds before realising the eggs are catching and you still need to butter the toast.

Though you’ve managed the whole, looking after a toddler while also doing one hundred other things, it’s not wasted on you how much of a help Jungkook is. He occupies the time it takes for you to get breakfast ready and then helps Zac lay the table for you. He keeps up an easy conversation over the food. And then, when you start to clear up he easily takes Zac out of the way and entertains him for a bit before coming back to help you.

They’re small things, stuff you wouldn’t have even picked up on before Zac was around. But you can’t deny that his easy smiles, coupled with watching him wipe down the table really gets you going. You really are a mum.

“Oh shit,” you moan, body creeping up the bed.

Jungkook only grunts in return, his hands tightening on your hips to stop you from moving away from him. With the way he’s slamming himself into you, it doesn’t help and you continue to move up the bed.

He slows to a stop, leaning down into you so his chest is against you, face above yours and cock fully in you. His hair is slightly damp from all the effort he’s put in. You’d feel slightly bad if it weren’t for the fact he’s been making you feel extremely good and that he looks incredibly hot with damp hair. He also doesn’t seem to be complaining about the fact you’ve just been laying on your back the entire time.

“Mum’s going to be round soon with Zac,” you manage to get the words out just before he presses his lips to yours.

Slipping his tongue into your mouth, he moves his hips in the same slow but deep rhythm. You try to grind your hips up into his, deepening how far he goes into you with every thrust.

“We’ve got time,” Jungkook mutters back, his lips moving from your mouth to press around your face. “I just need you a different way if I’m going to come any time soon.”

“Mhumm?” You moan, eyes closed, head tilted back to let Jungkook have access to your neck. “How’d you want me?”

He hums, teeth nibbling a little bit of skin as his hips push a final time into you. “On your hands and knees.”

He looks up at you, trying to gage your reaction but when you clench around him, he gets the idea. You hum a little when he pulls out and when he’s given you enough space you turn onto your front. Wait patiently, exactly how Jungkook wants you.

His hand runs down the arch of your back, stopping only to feel the globe of your ass. He lets out a satisfied hum before you feel his cock tapping you.

You arch back and up into him and you hear a little satisfied chuckle as his hand moves to your hip. He keeps you where you are as he runs his tip through your folds.

“I’m not going to last long when I get in you,” he warns.

“Neither.”

“Ok,” he breaths, stopping when he’s at your entrance.

His hands tighten on your hips and he lets out a low whine as he pushes into you. He feels so different from this angle, somehow bigger than he felt before. The first few thrusts are slow, you both are getting used to the feel of it. But when you fall onto your elbows, half exhaustion, half because your hands were starting to ache, he hits a particular spot in you that has you moaning into the sheets.

“Oh yeah?” Jungkook asks and you can only let out a gurgled noise in response.

It’s enough. His thrusts grow faster and every time they hit that spot. His balls slap against you, only adding more pleasure. The whole thing is enough to do as you both warned. You come first, hard and out of nowhere. And the feeling of you clamping down is enough to get Jungkook to follow close behind.

Collapsing on your front, Jungkook pulls out of you and gets rid of the condom before lying next to you.

“I should really sort myself out before mum gets here,” you say, though don’t move.

“We’ve got time.”

“Yeah, no offense, but you also need to be gone before she gets here.”

He chuckles, the noise causing a smile to appear on your lips. “I’ll jump the fence if I need to. Stop worrying.”

You roll onto your side and Jungkook flops his head so he can look at you.

“She’ll be able to smell that you’ve been here,” you say and Jungkook grimaces as if weirded out by the comment. “I know. But nothing gets past her.”

Jungkook rolls onto his side. “Well, I can stay and meet her if you want?”

You don’t know why the thought terrifies you so much, but it does. You don’t even know why Jungkook’s offering, but he seems so sincere about it, as if it’s a perfectly normal thing to offer. Surely, it’s too early to be thinking about meeting each other’s parents?

“I can just say you need help putting some shelves up.”

“She’ll make some comment about that being an innuendo,” you roll onto your back.

“Well come on then,” you feel the bed dip and move and when you look back over at Jungkook he’s already standing. “Let me at least help you clean up the evidence.”

There’s a wide smile on his face as he starts to pull on the clothes you all but threw on the floor earlier. He doesn’t look bothered by any of this and while you worried this was only about the sex for him, with all the little things he’s doing, he’s slowly convincing you that maybe it’s not.

“But you better hurry,” he teases when you continue to lay staring at him. “She’s going to be here any minute.”

He does a poor imitation of your voice and when you throw a pillow at him he only chuckles as he catches it. It hits you square in the face when he tosses it back. By the time you’re sat up and moving Jungkook is already out of the room and beginning to tackle the mess you’ve been putting off.

You continue to sleep together whenever you can find the time without Zac being around. But when there isn’t any, Jungkook is still there.

He plays with Zac outside so you can have some peace while you prepare dinner. He washes the dishes up when he occasionally stays for food so you can go and get Zac ready for bed. He buys you bunches of flowers and little boxes of chocolates. He does things around the house, mows the lawn, stops the cupboard squeaking and makes it so the shower doesn’t leak water out of one side.

He seeps into your life in every way and though you’re cautious, you completely let him in.

You convince yourself it’s nothing serious, mainly because you never discuss what the two of you are. But it’s fun and you live in the moment, enjoy the sex as well as the help you’re getting around the house.

However, you look at it though, you know you’re doing what you said you wouldn’t. You’re letting Jungkook in. Not just into your life, but into Zac’s too. Somehow you can’t seem to feel bad about it.

You don’t notice him until you round your car to check that Zac is strapped in. It’s barely 7am, not a time you’re used to seeing Jungkook but the movement at his door has you glancing up. You do a double take as you come to a stop by Zac’s door.

There’s a girl looking like she’s just stepped out of his house, she’s close enough to Jungkook to look like they’re about to embrace or make out or maybe both. He’s stood just in his pants looking down at her, you’re too far away and the girl is blocking your view to work out the expression on his face. Or maybe it’s the cool feel of embarrassment that stops you looking too hard.

Still, you can’t pull your eyes away from the scene. As the girl is talking and Jungkook is listening, neither notice you staring.

It’s not the same girl you’ve noticed at his before, no, this is someone you’ve never seen. You’re not sure if that makes it better or worse. What you do know, is how big an idiot you are. Because of course while you were growing to like him, while you were letting him further into your life, he only saw what you had as something else, a bit of fun, a convenience.

It’s your own fault for not talking to him about it. Your own fault for reading into it more than you should have. You’d known who Jungkook was, what he was like, the sort of man he was and yet you’d still been blinded by his words and smiles. You stupidly thought that you were different. One of those stupid girls that thought you’d be the one to change him.

And there he is, after a night with someone else and he doesn’t even care that he’s flaunting it on his front doorstep.

“Mummy, why aren’t you trapping me?”

Zac speaks loudly enough to not just draw your attention but your neighbours too. You catch Jungkook’s eyes dart towards you just before you twist to your son. You don’t correct his wording, you just want to be out of this situation, don’t want your embarrassment to be witnessed by anyone else.

You duck down to Zac’s level and pull the belt over him and his car chair. Satisfied he’s strapped in you stand. Your traitorous eyes can’t help but flick to your neighbour’s door, however hard your brain is screaming not to look.

The girl is a step further away from the door now, her head looking between you and Jungkook. Jungkook’s gaze is firmly on you. It looks like he’s about to open his mouth and shout something at you. That or take off in a run in your direction.

Springing into action, blood coursing through you, you leap into the drivers seat, buckle yourself in and take off in reverse.

You can hear your heartbeat in your ears as you start down the road. Though you know nothing is going to happen there’s thoughts of Jungkook opening your door or banging on your window. None of that happens. When you flick your eyes in the rear-view mirror, he’s not even left his doorstep.

Your heart falls into the bottom of your stomach.

“I know what I saw Rosie.”

“Well talk me through it one more time.”

You sigh, look down at the tea in your hands before flicking your eyes to your son. Zac is still playing with the little girl who approached him fifteen minutes ago and is happily getting bossed around in a game with her. It’s sweet to see the bundle of energy that is your son be so placid sometimes. It’s also great to be at one of your favourite coffee shops, kids play area and all with your best friend moments after the most embarrassing time of your life. Though you don’t want to relive every detail of what happened in the car before coming here, it’s kind of nice to hash it out with Rosie.

“There was a girl, all dressed up as if she’d had to put on the clothes she was out in last night, stood on Jungkook’s doorstep while he stood basically naked saying goodbye.”

Rosie hums, her head bobbing up and down in thought. “Yep. I’ve got to admit I’m struggling to see any good angles.”

“That’s because there are no good angles,” you whine.

“Well, I’m guessing the nearly naked bit was good.”

The glare you shoot at her has her sitting straighter in her chair, her hands almost raising in defence.

“Yep. Agreed. Definitely one of the worst bits. Ok.”

You sigh, eyes flicking once again to Zac.

“And what the hell am I supposed to tell Zac?” It’s the first time you’ve thought about it, because although this is your issues, it’s also going to affect Zac. “I can just ignore Jungkook, but Zac will still ask questions and while I’d dive away from him in public Zac won’t do the same.”

“Right,” Rosie says with the air of a woman with no children, therefore lacking all understanding of your predicament. “Well, my first thoughts in all of this, and please don’t kill me when I say this. But, why don’t you talk to Jungkook first?”

“Why would I do that?” You ask flatly.

“Because you clearly have no idea what you were looking at this morning.”

“What gave you that impression? I’ve very obviously stated just how much I saw.”

“Yes, and while I admit it didn’t look great, neither of us can fully explain it. The only person who can happens to live only a short trip from your house.”

“Not going to happen,” you say, taking a sip of your tea and looking away from her. It does nothing to convince her to change the topic.

“You’re both adults. Maybe what you thought you saw wasn’t exactly what it was,” when you continue to not look convinced, she sighs. “Fine, give him a piece of your mind, walk away from him and avoid him like the plague. But what if you’re building this up to be something it really isn’t?”

“I know Jungkook, and I know what that was.”

“From what you’ve told me about him, I really don’t believe it for a second.”

Your ice-cold glare does nothing, she just levels her gaze right back at you. In the end it’s you who give in first.

“I’m not going around to his only to have what I already know laid out so plainly for me. You don’t understand how mortifying it was this morning.”

Rosie’s eyes turn softer, a glint of pity seeping into them. When she speaks her tone is softer and her body starts to lean in towards you.

“I get it. But I also get the impression that Jungkook would never do that to you or Zac.”

The mention of your son’s name makes your heart pound. You look over at him, he looks so happy sat on the floor piling blocks high with the little girl. It makes your heart hurt to imagine him asking after Jungkook and you having to tell him that he can’t see him anymore. The laughs and giggles that always came out of him when Jungkook is around. The manly figure in his life gone like that. This is why you didn’t want to get close to him. This is why you didn’t want anything to happen. Because although you’re hurting right now, you know it’ll feel nothing in comparison to breaking it to your son.

“Will you just think about it at least?” Rosie asks, dragging your eyes back to her.

You sigh and then nod. “I’ll think about it.”

You think about it all of two seconds and know you will never be knocking on Jungkook’s door, nor will you be hanging around outside long enough for him to catch you. No, you will be doing exactly as Rosie suggested and avoiding him like the plague.

This is why you never wanted to get involved with him. Because you knew what would happen in the end, you knew what type of man he was. And why you may have accepted that in the past, gone with the man for a bit of fun. Now, things have changed, it’s not just you that you have to think about.

You spend the time alone thinking it through. The more time you have, the more certain you are. Jungkook was a mistake. But now you know that you can move on as best you can. He doesn’t want you, that’s fine, you can accept that and do your best to pick up whatever pieces of Zac that break.

Surprisingly, for nearly a week, it works.

Unsurprisingly, when there’s an unexpected knock at your door Saturday evening when Zac is in bed, it’s Jungkook.

You know it’s going to be him before you open the door, or at least have a strong feeling it is. Your face is already set in a grimace, so luckily it’s not a delivery man or an unsuspecting stranger. You open the door enough for Jungkook to see you, but only enough that your body is blocking any view inside.

“Hey.”

You raise an eyebrow at the word. Has he really come here after a week and the first word he says is hey? You can almost see the cold sweat breaking out across his forehead, but to his credit Jungkook remains calm.

“So, I was thinking it’s been a while since we last saw each other and I was wondering how you are?”

“Are you shitting me right now?”

You have half a mind to slam the door in his face and as if reading that thought Jungkook sticks a hand out and props it on the door. He doesn’t push it open, he doesn’t apply any pressure, he just rests it there so he can stop you closing him out.

“Can I come in so we can talk about this?”

“What’s there to talk about?”

It’s Jungkook’s turn to raise an eyebrow. “Given this reaction, there is clearly lots to talk about Y/N.”

“And if I don’t want to talk?”

He closes his eyes. You’re not sure if he’s praying or taking a second to calm himself down. Either way, when he opens them and looks at you, they seem darker, more intense, like he has more purpose now.

“Right, if you want to do it here, let’s do it here,” he says and doesn’t give you time to interrupt. “I know you saw me last week with Clare. I know what it looked like and I know what you thought. Maybe I’ve been utterly shit in not coming sooner but I wanted to give you space to figure things out on your own; I realise now that was a mistake.”

You’re so thrown by the last comment you don’t speak in the small pause. Should you be offended? Jungkook carries on, as if satisfied you’re listening to him.

“Clare is an ex of sorts, and she came over early, before I had chance to get dressed, and that’s what you saw. Nothing else. Nothing more.”

You don’t know how to feel. You don’t know whether to believe him. Because although he sounds like he’s telling the truth, he also sounds like he really wants you to believe him and for whatever reason you’re not sure why he’d cared so much about what you think.

“You always answer the door in your pants?”

It’s clearly not the words he was hoping for, but he still gives you an answer. “When I’ve just woken up, yes.”

“And she didn’t stay the night?”

The question, although spoken with a little less bite, a little less certainty, seems to be more what Jungkook was expecting. Though you’ve given him little reason to relax, his shoulders look less tense, his weight leans forwards so the door creaks open a touch. You try to hold your ground as your traitorous heart pounds in your chest.

“No one has stayed the night since I’ve been with you.”

Your eyes flick around his face trying to read the truth there. You can’t spot the lie, though you still don’t fully believe it.

“She didn’t even come inside,” he carries on. “In fact, she was at my door all of ten minutes before she left. If you hadn’t driven off, you would have seen that.”

“Ok.”

“Ok?” He frowns. “That’s all you have to say?”

“Yes. You’ve explained, so, ok.”

Jungkook remains, frown between his eyes, hand still on your door. And you stare right back at him, feet planted, door not swinging open.

“I don’t understand,” he admits, voice soft.

“Right, because you expected me to jump back into your arms?” The silence tells you the answer you already knew. This man’s ego is way too big. “I guess I just realised who you are and why we don’t work together. What happened between us was a mistake and I’m sorry if you’ve been pushing girls aside for whatever reason, but you don’t have to anymore.”

Jungkook continues to look confused. It only makes you drive the message home a little stronger.

“We were never going to work. You’re you and I’m me and while we had fun, that’s all it was ever going to be. I guess I just remembered who you are and why I can’t afford to have you around me and Zac.”

Jungkook’s hand slips from the door and the look of hurt on his face almost makes you regret the words. But it’s true, isn’t it? You’re not sure what he was coming here to say, that he wanted to carry on sleeping with you for a bit longer? That you were convenient living next door and he didn’t want to give that up just yet? Aren’t the words you just said what he would have been telling you weeks down the line when you and your son were no doubt in too deep?

No. It was better you told him how it was now. It was better you ripped off the plaster. It was better you ended this now before Jungkook broke your heart. Because although you’re hurting now, although you want to drag him inside and let his explanation be enough, you know that it’ll only be worse later.

Jungkook’s hand now free from your door you see your chance.

“I’ll still see you around though,” the words feel bitter as they leave your lips and your tone lacks any conviction. “I’m still happy to lend you sugar like any other neighbour.”

Jungkook doesn’t speak, his eyes focused on something in the near distance, he looks like he’s trying to solve a puzzle or an over complex maths equation.

You swallow as his eyes finally move to yours. The frown is still there but they look dark and not in the same way they did earlier. No, the look in them now makes your stomach coil. He looks like he’s figured something out. You can’t tell if that’s a good or a bad thing.

You don’t give yourself long enough to figure it out. You need to be out of this situation. You need Jungkook off your doorstep. You need to make sure he doesn’t say anything to change you’re easily swayed mind.

“I’ll see you around,” you squeak and then you slam the door closed in his face.

You lean into the door as your chest rises and falls. You did it, though you doubted yourself, you told him what you’d been thinking the last week, that although you didn’t really want him out of your life, it was better he was out of it.

You don’t hear his footsteps. You don’t see his shadow move away from your door. You remain leaning on your door for a minute after closing it but you’re unaware of Jungkook leaving either. Heart in your throat, you twist and walk away, hoping that’s the last you hear from the man but knowing it won’t be.

It starts with flowers. A big bloom that gets delivered first thing in the morning. They get shoved in your hands and the woman is walking away before you can tell them they must have got the wrong address. Your names on the card though, and when you prize it open you know who they’re from even though it’s got no signature.

You never let me finish. Let me take you out for dinner?

You bite the inside of your cheek, send a glare at your neighbour’s brick wall.

You still put them in water. You still cut their stems and arrange them and then place the large vase on your countertop. It would be a waste to throw them away. But you don’t attempt to reply to the question on the card. That, you throw away.

It takes Jungkook a few hours to text you, chasing for an answer.

Jungkook: Did you get my flowers?

Y/N: They’re yours? I thought they must have come to the wrong house.

Jungkook: Is that why you put them in that pretty vase and up on display? What did you think about the note that came with it?

Y/N: It’s in the bin where it belongs.

Jungkook: Let me take you out for dinner.

Y/N: I’m busy.

Jungkook: I never even gave you a date or time.

Y/N: I struggle getting a babysitter for Zac as it is.

Jungkook: Then let me cook for you. He can sleep while we talk.

Y/N: I really am busy Jungkook.

Jungkook: Think about it. I just want to talk.

Sure, you think, I’ll think about it. The same length of time you thought about whether you’d go and talk to him before. All of two seconds.

No, you’re not going to have dinner with him. You don’t particularly want to talk to him ever again.

Maybe it’s childish given he’s your neighbour. What he did wasn’t awful, it’s more that you know if you give him even an inch then he’ll take a mile and you’ll just let him back in. You liked having him around, you liked the help, you liked being able to talk to someone your age, you liked someone looking after you. But it’s not just about you.

You’re bound to see him around and that doesn’t mean you won’t give him a neighbourly hello and nod. That will be it. No opening up about your life. No asking to babysit. No late night drinks. No kissing on the sofa. No anything more.

You can’t even think about it. You may be pretending to be hard and over it, but Jungkook had successfully wormed his way into your life and if it wasn’t for Zac, you’d more than happily curl up in your bed and mope for a few days.

You’ve successfully been played. And it feels shit.

“Mummy,” you look over at Zac. “You’ve been sat of that sofa forever.”

He never fails to put a smile on your face. And just like you were thinking before, he successfully gets you out of your slump. You could sulk all you want in private, but with Zac around you have to set an example.

You don’t go to Jungkook’s for dinner, instead make some half-arsed excuse as to why you can’t go. He must know you’re still pushing him away and at least this time he lets you. You get a simple reply to your text rejecting his invitation. No offers to rearranged. No accusations or callouts for your excuse. No attempt to carry on the conversation. Just an understanding message.

You’re not sure why but you feel a little disappointed. Even though it’s what you were hoping for.

It doesn’t take long for the next attack to come. This time it’s not flowers or offers of dinners but is instead small acts of kindness. Your lawn mowed without having to ask. Your bins emptied and cleaned. Your car cleaned. All things Jungkook’s done in the past and if you didn’t know him you’d find slightly creepy, but instead find endearing.

You hate that you feel that way.

His texts don’t start immediately. But when they start, they come in steady streams. There’s no pressure in any of them and while you hardly reply to any of them, they’re still said in the same tone, sweet and light. They all say pretty much the same thing, that he wants to meet to talk. But you’re not ready and you don’t want to. No matter what he says it won’t change who he is and it won’t change the fact that you’ll like slip again and you can’t afford to be with someone like that.

You see him in passing, him leaving while you’re arriving home. Again, he never pressures you into talking but always smile and waves at you.

You start to feel a little awkward. You know what he’s doing, guilt tripping you into giving in; you just don’t understand why he’s doing it. Surely he should have given up by now, surely if you’re just someone to sleep with this isn’t worth it.

You’re sat on your front garden watching Zac cycle around when you hear his front door open. You don’t look his way, but you tense with expectation. Zac hasn’t noticed Jungkook yet, he’s still happily going in the circle you’d allowed him to, from pavement pausing to checking the silent road for a car, crossing to the other side and going around. He’s babbling about something, shouting about being chased by a dinosaur as he whizzes around.

There are three footsteps before they go silent. And you prepare for whatever he’s about to say.

It’s been close to two weeks now and while he’s been doing small but thoughtful gestures, you have successfully put off talking to him. You’ve passed him in the street a couple of time, but every time have managed with a nod and a hello, the greeting you’d wished was normal for the two of you.

He doesn’t say anything this time though, just stands wherever it is he’s stopped. You fight the urge to look at him, foot tapping on the floor as you fight to keep your eyes on Zac.

Your restrain is only so strong. When you look over your shoulder he’s already staring right at you.

Your heart stutters. Your foot stops it’s tapping. He doesn’t look angry or sad, in fact there’s a small smile on his lips. His attire is much the same as you always see, an oversize shirt with sleeves that go to his elbow, letting you see his arm full of tattoos and skinny black jeans. He’s stood on his side of the drive; you can’t even accuse him of trespassing. The only thing you could possibly tell him is that he’s being creepy. But even that would be a lie.

“Hey,” his smile widens now you’re looking at him.

You don’t reply, can barely manage a smile. Every time before now you’ve been on your way in or out. You had an excuse for a quick escape. Now, sat on your front garden, you feel trapped.

“You alright?”

And yet, Jungkook still isn’t pushing you. However big a dick he’s been or might be, he’s never forced you to speak to him. Maybe you’re the one being a bigger dick. Maybe speaking to him won’t be as bad as you think. Maybe you’ll actually like whatever it is he wants to tell you.

Just as you open your mouth to reply, Zac beats you to it.

“Jungkook!”

You wince at the name screamed across the street. It’s not the volume that causes your reaction but the pure joy in which the name is said.

You’re still focused on Jungkook’s face, trying to conceal your reaction as he looks over at Zac with a wider smile when you hear it.

A crash. Metal scraping along tarmac. Silence for a second and then a scream, the noise so much louder than the name he shouted mere seconds ago.

Eyes wide, heart pounding, your head whips away from Jungkook in the direction of the noise. Zac must have turned too soon, distracted by the sight of Jungkook he’d lost control of his bike and left the pavement too soon, only to crash and fall off the curb.

You shoot to your feet, your focus solely on your crying son who has a bike now on top of him and is calling out for you. Time seems to slow. Your feet don’t move fast enough. Zac is too far away. And even though you run faster than you ever have, you still don’t make it before Jungkook. He’s pulling the bike off your son, trying to sooth him when you get there.

You swallow the tightness in your throat, the fear creeping up your chest, as you look at your scraped up son.

“Mummy,” he wails, eyes landing on you, tears streaming down his face as blood oozes in the cuts on his palms and knees.

You reach out for him, but again, Jungkook is too fast. He lifts Zac into his arms as if he weighs nothing and then he's ever so carefully handing him over.

“It’s ok, baby,” you hold him to your chest, hand soothing his head. “You’re ok. It’s just a little cut.”

But it’s more than that. It’s the shock of the accident, it’s more than a little cut and for you, it’s the fear that it could have been a lot worse. What if a car was coming down the road when it happened? What if he’d landed differently? What if he’d hit his head? You shouldn’t have been so focused on Jungkook. You shouldn’t have let Zac cycle around all on his own, he’s still so young. You should have –

“Come on,” a warm, steady hand squeezes your shoulder. “Let’s get you two inside and cleaned up.”

You look at Jungkook, your own tears welling in your eyes. As if sensing your rising panic, Jungkook’s expression changes and the hand on your shoulder moves to your lower back. He adds a small amount of pressure and is steering you in the direction of your house.

You let him guide you. Your feet, your body, everything but Zac in your arms and Jungkook’s hand on your back cease to exist. Mind racing about what you need to do you don’t realise Jungkook’s led you into your living room until his hand leaves your back. Eyes snapping to his already retreating body, he says nothing.

Panic still rooted in you; it takes you a second to react.

You need to calm Zac down. You need to clean his wounds. You need wipes, plasters and a blanket and hot bottle of milk. You need to –

“You need to calm down,” Jungkook says lightly as he comes back. “You can’t help anyone in this state.”

Hand back on your shoulder he guides you once again, this time until the back of your knees hit the sofa and then you’re sat. You look over Zac’s shoulder to see Jungkook kneeling before you, supplies in his arms. He has a hard look on his face, one that tells you to pull yourself together. You give him a small nod as you twist Zac around to face Jungkook, his arms tighten around your neck and your heart breaks a little.

“We’re ok, aren’t we Zac?” Jungkook says lightly. “Let’s have a look at that cut.”

You swallow as you watch Jungkook’s hand and eyes go to Zac’s cut knee. He waits a second and then lets out a loud, exaggerated gasp. Zac’s head pulls out of the crook in your neck to look at Jungkook and his wide eyes. Tears are still falling down his face, but the reaction has stopped the sobs.

“Oh Zac,” Jungkook says in another dramatic tone. You know he’s joking, you just worry that Zac doesn’t know that and Jungkook’s going to do the opposite of what he’s hoping. “I think you might survive. You know why?”

Zac’s little head shakes and you can only watch as Jungkook completely takes control of the situation.

“Because you’re being so brave. I mean look at you, I don’t know anyone braver,” Jungkook’s eyes dart up to you, a small smile now playing on his face at whatever look he’s seen on your face. “Don’t you agree, mummy?”

It takes you a second, mind scrambled, but you squeeze your hands on Zac’s shoulders. “So brave.”

“See,” Jungkook says. “Now, shall we have a look at cleaning you up? You have to be extra brave for me though, and if you promise me you will, then maybe after we can have some chocolate ice cream.”

Zac head nods and Jungkook smiles widely at him. You watch as Jungkook mutters how amazing your son is being while he cleans him up, he even makes him giggle at one point.

You stroke your hand over his head and try not to let your mind spiral. Jungkook is being so good and while you have no doubt that he would never let anything that may be happening between you get between him and Zac, it’s something wholly different to see. You’re not sure what you would have done had he not been there. And while you could pin some of the blame on him, not a single part of you wants to.

You’ve treated him like crap. Ignored him when all he wanted to do was talk. And yet he’s still here, acting as if everything is ok. That doesn’t seem like something the guy you’ve been imagining in your head would do. You’ve been way too harsh.

When Zac’s all cleaned up, you do as promised. While you help him change into cleaner, less cut, clothes, Jungkook finds him some ice cream. By the time he’s all tucked up watching Moana, there’s a bit more life in his face.

You don’t say anything as you leave him to it and head to the kitchen, and you don’t say anything when Jungkook follows you. Silently you flick the kettle and pull two mugs towards you.

“Can we talk?”

It’s what he’s been asking for days, in that same unexpecting tone. You’re in no doubt that if you said you didn’t want to talk, however hard Jungkook may find that, he’d still respect your wishes.

You make him wait a little longer now. Put a tea bag in each mug before pouring the just boiled water over them. When you twist Jungkook’s leaning against your counter, the portrait of indifference, though his eyes tell a different story as they bore into you.

“What do you want to say Jungkook?” You still have to force the words out.

He seems to relax while tense all at the same time. He takes a step towards you and looks as if he’d take another before thinking better and stopping. It’s as if now, finally given the chance, he’s not quite sure what to say. Or maybe he just doesn’t know where to start.

“I’ve already been through the whole what you saw wasn’t what it looked like thing. But you never let me carry on,” he pauses, as if expecting you to stop him again now. When you don’t, he carries on. “The reason I wanted to clear things up is because I don’t want you thinking of me that way or thinking that I was for some reason using you or Zac. I really like you Y/N. It wasn’t just a fling for me, I thought you got that?”

Clearly you didn’t. You’d hoped, sure, but the minute there was even the smallest of hints to say any different, you’d jumped on it. Jungkook seems to read that even though you don’t say anything.

“Why is that so hard for you to believe?”

You shrug feeling awkward, but Jungkook waits for you to say it verbally. “Well, because I’m me and I have a son and a really messy life.”

Jungkook’s lips twitches at the edges. “You know I love Zac too, right?”

“Playing in the street is something wholly different to going out with his mum.”

“You make it sound like I’m a kid too,” he laughs. “But of course I get that.”

“He’s not always happy and playful.”

“I think we just established that.”

“Yeah, but he’s hard work and needy and rowdy.”

“Where’s the downside here?”

“Jungkook,” you warn but he just laughs and takes another step towards you, now close enough to grasp your hands and lift them between your bodies.

“I honestly get it. You two are a package deal. That doesn’t put me off.”

You struggle, look at your hands laced together. You don’t pull away from him, but you also don’t fall into his arms. Something is still hold you back.

“What is it?” Jungkook encourages.

You take a breath and then look up into his eyes. “What if you don’t always feel that way? What if one day you decide it is too hard and isn’t worth it and just leave?”

He detangles one of his hands with yours so he can reach up to cup your cheek. His eyes look so soft now, though his features look hard and set with whatever thoughts he’s thinking.

“I would never just leave you two,” he says, thumb moving over your jaw. “Listen, I can’t promise anything about the future, maybe we won’t work and if we don’t I wouldn’t just up and leave you and Zac – I live next door, I wouldn’t be able to get very far,” he tries to lighten the mood and when you let out a small laugh, he looks happy that he succeeded. “But what if we did work? What if this is it? What if we’re meant to be together? Won’t you at least give it a try?”

You can see the hope swimming in his eyes, can see the desire and the truth behind every word he’s spoken. He really means it. He wants to be with you and he doesn’t care that you’re a single mum with an over enthusiastic child, that hasn’t put him off.

And you know he’s right. You’re pushing him away on what if’s and though you may not work out, should that be enough to stop you from having happiness in the here and now?

Jungkook patiently waits the few seconds for you to mull it over, but really you’ve been a sucker all along. You wouldn’t have been able to deny him for much longer, no matter what happened.

“Ok,” you finally say and watch as Jungkook’s whole face lights up.

“Ok?” He repeats, unbelieving.

You giggle and before you can confirm it a second time his lips are on you. Hard and heavy and a whole lot of teeth, it’s not the sexiest kiss you’ve ever had but it’s definitely in your top five, even given the fact it only lasts a second.

Jungkook stays close, his hand still on your jaw, his nose nearly brushing yours, a wide toothy grin on his lips.

“Can I take you out for that meal now then?”

You can’t supress your smile even as you roll your eyes. “I’ll look for a babysitter.”

“No,” he stops you. “I want Zac to come too.”

Your heart stutters, breath caught in your chest. It’s the three of you now and Jungkook already knows how important that is to you.

You lean in to kiss him again before mumbling against his lips. “Ok.”

[pandoraslxna]

luna bby, craving for lo’ak angsty smut please give it to me 🌬️

The Fall

adult Lo‘ak x female omatikaya reader

Words: 11.5k

Summary: It was like falling off a cliff. A slow, steady fall and then the blinding crash. But in reality, a fall would’ve hurt less. Less than this.

Warnings: explicit smut, angst, friends with benefits, p in v, love confession, oral, begging, Lo‘ak being a switch, arguments, mentions of arranged marriage, one sided love, drunk sex, sleepy sex, handjob, creampie, praise kink, Lo‘ak is 26 & reader is 24, jealousy, possessive behavior, hair pulling, overstimulation, language barrier, teasing, sexual tension, (let me know if I missed anything)

Notes: this is probably my longest fic ever and I had so much fun writing it. Thank you mica for your request, it really motivated me to finally post this, I hope you like it! <3

Na’vi translations:

tanhì - (little) star, bioluminescence freckle

sevin - pretty

kalin - sweet

It was like falling off a cliff. A slow, steady fall and then the blinding crash. But in reality, a fall would’ve hurt less. Less than this.

The first time it happened was the day of Tuk‘s Iknimaya. 

You remember that day like it was just last week. The clan celebrated her rite of passage and welcomed her and a handful of other young omatikaya into adulthood with a great fest. People were dancing, singing and the night was filled with laughter and stories told by the elder. The food was fantastic, but unfortunately, so were the drinks. 

And Lo‘ak was never one to say no when there was liquor, especially not when Spider challenged to drink him under the table. 

The night ended just a little sooner for the two of you, when Lo‘ak was on the verge of passing out and his father began worrying for his sons wellbeing. Probably worrying for his reputation too, but that was just how Jake was. 

"Get this knucklehead home before he throws up and ruins his last chance to find himself a mate", he told you, shaking his head and trying to hide the grin of a father who was dwelling in memories of his own troublesome youth. 

You remember how you had promised the olo’eyktan to bring his son home, but unfortunately, you were just as drunk. You had clung to each other, your arm around his waist and his arm thrown over your shoulder, stumbling and laughing all the way through the forest and you almost made it back to the village… 

You don’t know how exactly it had happened. It was a moment of drunken weakness, jokes turning into something serious and one thing lead to another and then he had kissed you and you had kissed him. It wasn’t like you hadn’t kissed before, but that was when you were kids. This time, it was different. And sometime between kissing and biting each others lips and hands grabbing whatever flesh they could reach— you somehow ended up tangled into each other, fucking your brains out, until you both passed out in the middle of the forest. 

You remember waking up the next day with the worst headache ever, but your pain was quickly brushed aside when you cracked your eyes open to find yourself laying on a very familiar chest. You remember the panic you’ve felt, thinking this might ruin your friendship, that this was a mistake and it would create some unwanted tension between the two of you, that it would be awkward now. But surprisingly, that wasn’t the case. 

It was still Lo‘ak when he woke up. Your Lo‘ak, your best friend, that weird kid you grew up with. 

And it somehow just… it worked. It was just sex and you were drunk and he was still your best friend. No weird feelings and no awkward tension as you originally thought, you even laughed about the whole situation on your way back home. The next few days, you would snicker and glance at each other whenever someone questioned where you two had been at the end of the night and it was like some sort of inside joke between the two of you that caused people to roll their eyes in an "always the same with these two"-manner.

But then it had happened again.

And this time, you weren’t drunk. You were very far from that, actually.

Lo‘aks heart was beating hard in his chest, almost as hard as it was the first time he had kissed you, dizzy with the knowledge that this was something forbidden. Something that wasn’t supposed to happen.

He had sex before, obviously. Most of these times without any major feelings involved. Hookups nothing more and nothing less. But this was still different. You were his best friend and unlike the first time, he couldn’t blame what he was doing on any warriors drink now. He did it simply because he felt like it. Because he was horny and you were alone in the forest with him, to hunt originally, but you just looked so tempting. Forbidden things always attracted him anyways. And besides, you did it once already, so why not do it again? It would be a shame if he were to hold it in until he was back at home, just so he could jerk himself off, give himself an unsatisfying release– when you were right here.

It must’ve been something in the air that day, but by the flush of your cheeks and the way you had clenched your thighs together, he could tell that you were just as needy. So he made a move, not really thinking much about it, because he was more of a do now and regret later type of guy. To think before you act, that was Neteyam’s style and not his.

Lo‘ak had pressed himself closer to you, moving his lips on your own as if he tried to quiet down the thoughts and the doubts running through your mind. You were hesitant at first, didn’t move until he got one hand holding the back of your head, fingers carding through your soft hair in soothing motions, and the other on the small of your back, pushing your bodies together. It was then, that you finally wrapped your arms around his neck and a soft little moan escaped you, like you were finally letting yourself go. 

And that brought you to a pause, returning you to the moment. 

With a gentle push to his chest, you made Lo‘ak break the kiss. Taking a few steps backwards to put some space between the two of you, you leaned yourself against a tree and sighed, "Lo‘ak I’m… we can’t— we shouldn’t."

"Why not?", he chuckled and shrugged. It wasn’t a pressuring question, no, he was genuinely curious. "You’re hot and I’m hot and the sex was amazing the first time and we both know that we could really use a good fuck right now. Just imagine how–"

"Ew", you laughed, before you gave him a playful shove to his shoulder. 

"What? So I can’t call my best friend hot?", he chuckled, "Okay then, I’m hot and your mildly attractive enough to–"

"No, skxawng", you laughed some more and shook your head, "I said ew because you called yourself hot." You had scrunched your nose and playfully reached for his hair, before you continued to tease him, "When’s the last time you washed those braids, huh? You’re not hot, you’re nasty."

There was a reason why you always felt so safe with Lo‘ak. He would never make you feel uncomfortable, no matter what happened, no matter what you did or said. It would never become awkward or weird between the two of you. You could kiss and fuck and fight but in the end, you were still friends, soulmates even. 

"Oh please, we both know all the ladies love me!" Lo‘ak winked at you and you grimaced, causing both of you to laugh even more. 

"Is that so?", you snickered, both of your eyebrows raised high in astonishment, "Why ask me then? Go and beg some of your 'ladies' if you want to get laid."

"Tanhì, c‘mon, you know what I‘m trying to say", Lo‘ak groaned and let his head fall back against his neck. He’s never been a man of many words and it was always so easy to win an argument against him. But still, you had to admit… he wasn’t entirely wrong.

Fuck. 

Were you really that easy? Or were just that horny today? You were surprised with yourself that you actually considered this. It must’ve been just another moment of weakness and you really couldn’t believe it, but you actually found yourself agreeing to the few points that he made. 

Actually, the idea wasn’t as bad as you originally thought. You would both get your piece of cake without all the commitments and struggles of a relationship. It was basically just a hookup, but with someone you knew really well. And that sounded almost too good to be true. It sounded like possible trouble and problems. 

But Lo‘ak was right, no matter how insane that may sound. It had happened once and your friendship was still intact, so chances were high this could actually work. Right?

You remember how you had sighed and rolled your eyes at him, as if you actually couldn’t believe the words that were about to come out of your mouth, "Alright, alright… but we—"

But before you could even finish the sentence, Lo‘ak had pressed his lips against yours once again.

Immediately, you had leaned into the kiss too, allowing him to deepen it. He parted his lips, pressing harder against your mouth and you made a muffled sort of noise, to which he pulled away just slightly to let you speak.

"I didn’t agree yet", you told him panting, lips brushing against his as you spoke, but then you quickly leaned into the kiss again. You swiped your tongue against his bottom lip and he parted them, allowing you access to his mouth. "You can stop me if you want", he told you grinning, before your tongue curled around his.

"No", you whispered against his lips, "I don’t want you to stop." Lo‘ak chuckled at this, then reached down and his hands found the curve of your ass to grab a handful and squeeze. You were grinding yourself against him, relishing in the way his hips instinctually jerked against yours. He was so hard beneath his loincloth, you couldn’t help but press yourself further against him, almost desperately so.

Without breaking the kiss, he carefully untied your top and pushed it aside, exposing your breasts to him. His cock throbbed when he felt the soft flesh of your chest in his hands, slowly running a thumb over one of your nipples, which caused you to shudder. 

When he eventually did pull away from your mouth, his breathing was hot and heavy. He resisted the urge to lean forward and trap you in another kiss right away, in favor of showing your chest some attention. 

"Fuck, you really have some pretty tits", he murmured as he lowered his head, his tongue swiping over his bottom lip before he licked a wet stripe from under your boob up to your nipple, where he closed his lips around it. He traced his tongue over it, gently bringing them to peaks. Your head fell back and you moaned when he tugged on a nipple with his teeth, especially careful not to hurt you with his fangs.

Once you had both managed to get out of the rest of your clothes, never leaving the other ones lips for more than a brief second, Lo‘ak had picked you up and pressed you against a nearby tree. You had wrapped your legs around his waist and he had pushed his cock between your wet folds. Your slick helped him along, as he was gliding the tip against your aching, swollen clit.

"Lo‘ak, please", you impatiently whined and he smirked, grinding himself there for a short while.

"You sound good when you beg", he had told you, voice low and barely above a whisper, and then he finally drove himself all the way inside. The stretch was delicious and you sighed, relieved to be so wonderfully full of him again.

"Holy shit", you heard him groan next to your ear, "I missed this– missed this tight little pussy so much."

You were clawing at his board shoulders once he had started fucking into you and if there was any doubt, that this was the right thing to do, it flew right out of the window in this exact moment. If there was only one thing Lo‘ak was good at, probably better than anyone else, then it was to fuck. And by Eywa, he knew how to do it. He knew how to hit all of the right spots, like he had spent the past twentysix years of his life studying your body like the map to a treasure.

You knew that a big reason for the sex being so great was, that you knew each other better than anyone else, better than any hookup ever would. 

Lo‘ak moaned and cursed and whined, just as much as you did. You raked your nails up the length of his spine and he groaned, giving you an especially hard thrust. Your mouth fell open and he took the opportunity to sloppily kiss you again, tongue pushing past your lips to twist with yours and you moaned into the kiss.

His hands were still firm on the back of your thighs, lifting you up and pushing you down onto his cock, until the tip was roughly kissing your cervix, making you mewl.

You almost sobbed as he angled his hips up a little, hitting that special spot right there. 

"F-Fuck Lo, ah– I’m gonna, gonna come", you whimpered, "Don’t stop! Right there, right t-there!" He got the picture pretty quickly as he aimed just so, abusing that place that made you see stars. "Yeah? Right here?" His hips snapped into yours and you wrapped your arms tightly around his neck for purchase.

"C’mon, mama. Come for me, I won’t last", he gasped, "You feel way too fucking good baby, need to feel that tight pussy squeeze my cock. Do it for me, please, baby, c’mon please—“

The heat that pooled in his lower abdomen felt as if it would overflow at any second. You were so hot and wet, everything just felt so intense. Lo‘ak was moaning, literally moaning, without a care in the world because what else was he supposed to do when you felt so fucking good?

He felt your walls clamp down hard, your legs around his middle tensed and squeezed his waist and then his hips began to stutter too. Your eyes were closed tightly and your brows pushed together and then you choked back a sob and it felt like you were falling down a cliff and taking him with you.  

You moaned his name as your orgasm hit you, shaking legs tightening so harshly around his waist, you could feel every tremor of his hips. He had fucked you through it, his pace barley faltering for a second. And as if he had only waited for you to finish, as if he wanted to satisfy you first, he then finally came too. 

And again, it worked. It had happened twice now and it worked just fine.

That’s when Lo‘ak came up with the glorious idea of adding some sort of 'benefit' to your friendship.

On the same day, you came up with some, let’s call them 'rules', regarding your dirty little agreement. Lo’ak said it was more of a do‘s and don’ts list but whatever, in the end it was the same thing. It contained things like, what you were into and what not and things that he enjoyed, his boundaries and visa versa. There were also a few major rules that you both immediately agreed on. One of them being, that if either one of you would ever get into some sort of relationship or were to mate for life with someone, then your agreement would end and it was back to you just being friends. Apart from that, both of you could end this at any time, no questions asked. 

Another big rule, basically rule number one, was that this would and will always be just sex. No feelings were allowed, no feelings were involved— don’t even think about catching them. In this case, they were a deadly disease. They were to avoid, forbidden and unwanted. Your friendship would remain untouched from this agreement, no matter what. It was just sex. 

Naturally, because how else was this supposed to go, it became pretty messy after that day…

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

The thing that Lo‘ak hated most about his brother was, that he was always right. 

"Have you lost your mind?", the hiss of Neteyams voice had startled him, and Lo‘ak tried his best to act composed. But of course he failed miserably to do so, starting from the way he almost choked on his spit. "Please don’t tell me you sleep with her", Neteyam was almost whispering, but his voice was laced with anger as he furiously pulled him to the side, away from any possible unwanted listeners.

"W-What? With who? Of course I don’t, bro."

Yeah, that pretty much gave it away already…

There was a pause, like Neteyam was considering if he really wanted to dig any further and probably get involved into something he didn’t want anything to do with. Well, it was too late for that anyways, he thought. 

"I saw her sneak out of your marui just this morning, when I went out to hunt", his brother sighed, "You still lie like you’re five years old, baby bro."

Lo‘ak swallowed dryly, shoulders tense as he shrugged them, "Okay, and?" There’s this thing that he does, like pulling up a facade when he gets cornered. Lo‘ak then likes to act all cool and tough when he feels everything but. "Yeah we do it from time to time, what about it? It’s just sex", he shrugs again, avoiding all eye contact, because he knows the look he would find in his brothers face if he would dare to glance in his direction. 

"Lo‘ak", Neteyam starts and said brother rolls his eyes at the lecture that’s about to follow, "You’re gonna loose her as a friends if things go wrong. You know that, right?" 

Yes, he knew that. They shouldn't keep doing this, they really shouldn't, but they do. And they kept doing it. 

Neteyam had warned him… But unfortunately, his brother had already replaced his brain with his dick.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Lo’ak was maybe, just a little bit, kind of an idiot.

Okay, he wasn’t fooling anyone. He was a complete and total idiot. How could he let this happen? How could he have allowed this to build over the past few months, without even considering that things would inevitably go this way?

It wasn’t until months, probably even a year later, that Lo‘ak first realized something had changed. He couldn’t pinpoint just yet what exactly that was, but he knew it had something to do with you. More so, with the way you were interacting with others. And by others, he specifically meant other men.

He had seen you flirt with other guys– even more frequently, he’s seen other guys flirt with you before. Hell, he used to be your wingman once. But that was before your little agreement. That was when you both still had to put in some actual work in order to get laid. Which made him wonder why you were even allowing this guy to flirt with you. Why not come to him instead? That would’ve been much easier. That’s what your agreement was there for, he thought.

Okay, just because you were batting your pretty long lashes at some random guy, that wasn’t even that good looking, didn’t mean you wanted to sleep with him. And it wasn’t against the rules either. Truth be told, Lo’ak had no idea why it was bothering him so much. It wasn’t his business after all.

Still, there was something about the way that guy looked at you, that made his stomach turn into a tight knot. Suddenly, there were spikes of rage, fear, possessiveness, sadness— all mixed together and fogging his mind so much, Lo‘ak could barely think as he approached you. 

Laying an arm around your shoulder, he briefly stopped your little conversation, making you look up to him now, instead of that guy. "Oh, hey", you smiled at him, but there was a hint of surprise written on your face that he didn’t miss.

Neither of you had anything against the close proximity, the public display of affection. But that was mainly because Lo‘ak played it off as a friendly touch- brotherly even. And that’s exactly how it looked like to others, that’s what it looked like to you– just Lo‘ak being close with his best friend. Being physically close to one another was definitely not unwanted or unnatural to either of you, not even in public, but it still caught you off guard in this moment.

"Hey, sorry, uhm, can I borrow her for a while? It’s urgent", Lo‘ak told him, pressing his lips together into a thin line and forcing a half hearted smile to appear. He then turned his attention back to you, "Walk with me?" Thankfully, you didn’t question his intentions any further and nodded, excusing yourself.

Whatever that guy’s name was, Lo‘ak didn’t really care anyways, then reached out and gently caressed your upper arm as he said his goodbye. It was an innocent gesture, nothing more than a second passed when his thumb brushed over your skin and he knew that you probably didn’t even noticed it. But still. 

It felt like Lo‘ak had been shot in the chest.

And then it finally dawned on him. He was jealous. No— No way.

That had just been a slip of his thoughts, right? Something accidental in the moment? He was pretty sure he was just confusing something here. There was no way it was really the case. There was no way he was jealous. You and him both, you were just in it for the sex. And jealousy, jealously meant feelings. And there was no space for complicated things like feelings here, which was why it was impossible for him to feel jealous. Really.

"That guy looked at you like he wanted to fuck your brains out right there", Lo’ak said, his Na’vi accent still lingering on his voice even after all these years of speaking the sky peoples language so fluently. "And I hated every second of it. Made me want to puke."

His fingers continued to pump in and out of you as he spoke, two of them buried to the last knuckle in your sopping cunt while your juices were running down his wrist. It was good that you actually believed that the thing that was so urgent was the raging boner under his loincloth and not just an excuse to get you away from that guy as fast as possible.

"You know I hate when you do that", you murmured, breathing heavy and eyes half lidded as you glanced down on yourself to meet his eyes. Your brows were furrowed, but Lo‘ak had no idea if that was because you were trying to glare at him or if you were just feeling good. He definitely hoped it was the latter.

"Do what?", he asks, before he retreats his digits and attaches his lips back to your clit instead, making your hips jolt. 

"Lo‘ak", you say his name like a warning, or at least that’s what you intended to do, but it comes out as a moan instead. 

It was funny that you still refused to learn the sky peoples language, even after so many years of living side by side with them. You just never felt the need to, never participated in anything that would require you to understand it. Most of the humans living in high camp were almost perfectly fluent in Na‘vi, so it wasn’t really necessary anyways. Lo‘ak on the other hand spoke their language like he grew up on earth. And he loved to take advantage of this. He did this since you were kids— indirectly talking to you, in a language that you didn’t understand. He did it whenever there was something he wanted to tell you, when there was something on his mind that he needed to say out loud to get it off his chest, without actually wanting you to understand it. 

"You’re so easy to tease", he chuckles, before he guides your hips lower, making you sit on his face properly. Immediately, his tongue darts out to lick a wet stripe from your dripping entrance to your clit and you gasp. Your hands find purchase on the top of his head, fingers gently combing through his hair as you move your hips in slow circles. The forest ground is hard beneath your knees, but you barely pay it any mind as you chase his tongue with your clit, grounding yourself against it. 

"Dude", you swallow thickly, a breathy chuckle leaving your parted lips and then you carefully lift yourself off of his mouth to give him the opportunity to respond, "say it so I can understand or I’m going." 

Lo‘ak knew you wouldn’t leave, not right now. Not when he was devouring you like a starved man. Not when you were dripping all over his face, needy and wanton for a quick release. He chuckled and the comically sight of him peaking out from between your thighs was enough to make you giggle. 

"I said, I heard he has a small dick. Just wanted to give you a heads up before you get disappointed", he said with a sharp grin. 

"Who said I was going to sleep with him?", you asked in a teasing tone to which Lo‘ak bit the plush inside of your thigh. 

"You looked like you wanted to", he murmurs, "And you were wet before I even started. Like you’ve been thinking about it."

"I might as well go and ask him then, if you don’t stop with all the talking a-and… oh fuck", you were interrupted when Lo‘ak closed his lips around your clit again and sucked. He hungrily kisses the little nub, flicking it with his tongue and just as you’re about to move your hips and ride his face, he stops again. 

"And? Go on, sevin. I‘m listening", Lo’ak chuckles, causing you to glare at him. Leaning back on your palms, you feel for his cock behind you. Once you get a grip on his hard erection, you stroke him, once, twice and then squeeze his shaft just a little harder than necessary. You feel some of his pre-cum leak and drip over your knuckles and the whimper that escaped the man between your thighs is enough to make you grin. "Okay s-sorry, sorry", Lo’ak groans and allows you to lower your core against his face again. With a gentle tap to your thigh he gives you permission to move, ride his face as you please and that’s exactly what you do. 

You feel his nose bump against your clit, while his tongue prods at your entrance, lapping on your sweet juices before he begins to tongue-fuck you. Lo‘ak has always had a smart mouth, but just a few months ago you realized that talking wasn’t the only thing his mouth was incredibly good at.

No, there was really no way Lo‘ak was jealous. This right here, this was all that it was. You were both just in it for this, the sex. Making each other feel good, using each other for pleasure and nothing else.

Except now you were dragging yourself across his face, head thrown back and humping his tongue like you were in heat. When you came, your eyes flew open and you looked down on yourself and Lo‘ak made the mistake of glancing back up at you. And then your eyes met and you, you just looked so good, so pretty as you fell apart for him— because of him. With little beads of sweat on your temple and eyebrows scrunched together, your delicate fingers tugging at his braids. You weren’t even touching him properly, his dick laying heavy against his stomach, twitching and the tip swollen, turning purplish and leaking pre in streams, completely neglected of all sort of touch. But he still came, thick spurts of warm cum shooting up and landing all over his stomach with a loud groan. He really just came just from watching you, just from feeling you and making you feel good. He came completely untouched simply because he made you come.

And that’s when Lo’ak realized he truly fucked up…

Now that he was aware of it, Lo’ak knew that this had been going on a lot longer than he was willing to admit. And now that he could finally put a name on it, it was especially hard for him to keep it together. 

He was a lot more clingy than before, something you probably realized right away but simply chose to ignore for whatever reason. Physical boundaries hardly ever existed in your friendship anyways and his touch was never unwanted, so you didn’t mind it. 

It was when Lo‘ak’s friendly teasing and the affectionate bullying that went back and forth for all these years suddenly turned into genuine compliments. That’s when you started to become suspicious. It was just once or twice that it slipped. A friendly, innocent, "you look so pretty today", that wasn’t moaned in the heat of the moment or said lowly, whispered in your ear to rile you up. It was sincerely, said with a smile and your brows instantly furrowed. Lo‘ak quickly realized how out of character that must’ve sounded and brushed it off with a laugh, biting the inside of his cheek and cursing himself. From now on, he would have to be more careful not to let anything like that ever slip again.

But he sees the way you’re looking at him now. Like you’re trying to communicate with your eyes, trying to tell him to stop whatever he was doing and don’t– don’t catch feelings. Rule number one, Lo‘ak. Don’t fall in love. 

But it’s too late already.

Lo‘ak was head over heels in love with you.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"Come over", you heard his voice coming from the small ear piece he had gotten you a few years ago. It was an older throat com model that would’ve ended it the trash if it weren’t for Lo‘ak to snatch it from Norm and give it to you instead. It was nice to have some way to communicate with each other, when one of you were on patrol or away with the war party. It also bought you a lot of comfort, knowing that your little dumbass was still alive when you weren’t there to keep him from doing dangerous things. 

But now, it wasn’t just used as a simple form of communication when either one of you was away. Now it was also used to locate the other when things got a little… hot. 

"Lo‘ak… it’s the middle of the night", you groaned, barely able to keep your finger on the speaker button before you halfway drifted off to sleep again. You hear something rustle on the other end of the line, some movements and a breathy laugh before he speaks again, "I‘ll be quick, I promise. Please, tanhì." He sounded a little whiny and you couldn’t help but smile. 

"You’re always quick", you joke and then you hear him chuckle a soft, "ouch". It’s silent for a while and it’s like he knew you were considering it, because you literally felt the grin on his face, even when you couldn’t see him.

"Okay", you finally sighed, "But you will come over! And you‘ll have to do all the work. I‘m too tired to move." 

"You’re the best! I‘ll be there in two."

Lo‘ak showed up to your marui in a heartbeat, no surprise, letting himself in as if he lived there with you. 

You were half-asleep again, your thoughts syrupy-slow and you barely registered how he settled himself next to you, curling himself around your back. Lo‘ak presses himself against you and he’s warm and his breathing fans against your ear. Fit together like this, you could feel your bodies responding to each other. Arousal begins to heat your blood when you feel his erection poke against your back.

"Hey," he whispers and you turn your head to kiss him. In the dark, you only manage to kiss the corner of his mouth, where his lips are curved into a smile. 

It’s him who leans in to try again, and then your mouths finally meet. It’s less than a kiss and more of a tired, pressing together.

Thankfully, Lo‘ak doesn’t waste another second of keeping his hands to himself, before you feel his fingertips ghost over your hips and move towards your core.  

"What’s got you so needy in the middle of the night?", you giggle as you drape your thigh over his, spreading your legs to make room for him, "Couldn’t sleep?"

"Oh no, I did sleep", he chuckles, "Had some very nice dreams actually."

His hands move to pull the cloth aside that covers your private parts. He doesn't need to see your face to know that you’re smiling lazily and he places a kiss on your neck, enjoying how you tilt your head to accommodate him. He could spend all night just feeling you, getting you slowly worked up but this wasn’t the time. Lo‘ak knows you’re tired and he’s afraid that if he took his time, his actions would come across as too lovingly and that you would get suspicious again. 

"What did you dream about?", you ask him, voice low and seductively. 

About you. I was dreaming about you. 

"Hm dunno. Can’t really remember much, just that I woke up and…", he grinds his cock against your lower back, letting his body speak for him and you hum. 

You’re sleep-warm and pliable, so willing to be manhandled that it drives him insane. His cock is so painfully hard, it’s been hard for hours just from thinking about you. 

Lo‘ak shifts to cup your sex with his hand, fingers gently swiping through your folds and feeling for your wet entrance. He coats his digits in your slickness, two fingertips prodding at your entrance before he sinks them inside. You gasp at the sudden stretch, toes curling when he begins to move them.

"S-shit, baby I need you so bad", he whispers against your ear, "m'gonna fuck you so good." 

"Please", you whimper and he feels your walls squeeze around his digits when he curls them just right, hitting that spongey spot inside you. "Fuck me Lo‘ak, please, please I need it", you sleepily brabble.

Lo‘ak feels how hard his heart beats against his chest when you moan his name, almost like it wants to escape his body and fly away. It would be so much easier that way. He wouldn’t have to feel the guilt that’s eating him up inside, making him feel dirty and wrong when he breaks the most important rule you’ve both so strongly agreed on. He’s not using you for pleasure anymore, it’s not a give and take and it has turned into something different. For you, nothing has changed. But for him, for him it’s so much more than just sex now. 

Lo’ak wonders if that makes him a bad person. He’s not only breaking the number one rule, but ignoring one of your boundaries too. And respecting them used to be– no, they still were his priority. 

He feels bad about what he’s doing, yet he can’t bring himself to stop. He can’t bring himself to end it, because Lo‘ak feels like he can be more honest with his body than his words. You would probably never realize it like that anyways and for now, he’s fine with that. He would willingly take the guilt, if that meant being able to feel you, being able to have you like this whenever either one of you desired. 

Your breathing is decidedly less even by the time he's finished getting you thoroughly wet and he can't wait any longer. He lines his cock up with your slick entrance and slowly pushes forward, until he's completely buried inside. Lo‘ak takes a minute to savour it, his head tucked in the crook of your neck and breathing in your scent. It has grown more intense, so rich and sweet, since the day he realized he felt something for you. It was like your body called for him.

He then pulls out just a few inches before he sets his pace, lazy and deep strokes, and you draw your knees up to give him better access. His next thrust hits you in an even better spot, if your quiet gasp and the sweet little mewl is any indication.

Lo‘ak slips a hand down your body to stroke your clit and the second his fingertips begin to move, he felt your wall squeeze hard around his cock. "Fuck, that’s it’s baby", he groans lowly, "I fucking love when you do that, you’re so tight. Do it again, c‘mon." He gives a light tap to your clit and your hips jerk. You flex your pelvic floor muscles as best as you can, earning a breathy moan from him. 

Lo‘aks head felt dizzy. 

He was completely absorbed by the feeling of your sweet little pussy. It seemed to lovingly embrace his cock, to massage it and cling to it whenever he dared to pull out just a few inches.

Slowly, his pace increases, until he’s moving his hips fast and hard, panting heavily. His face was bright with arousal by now, bare chest wet with sweat and it felt so, so fucking good. Nothing on Pandora could ever be compared to this feeling, to the tight clutch of your pussy and the noises you made just for him.

Maybe… maybe he should tell you. 

No. No, that would only make him feel worse, because there was only one way this would go. Lo‘ak was the one that had started this and he would be the one to end it, if he were to ever confess his true feelings to you. No, he couldn’t tell you. 

When Lo’ak opens his eyes, he can’t take them off of the bioluminescence freckles decorating your skin. His free hand comes up to cup one of your breasts, squeezing the supple flesh and gently tugging on your nipple. He loves the freckles on your chest the most. It’s like a path, a pattern, leading all over your body and he wants to kiss every single one of them.

You’re so pretty and no one knows you as well as he does. Lo‘ak doesn’t know anyone else like he knows you— body and mind, all of you.

That’s why he knows to dive down and press more kisses to your throat and why he knows just how to touch your sensitive clit, how to circle that little bundle of nerves just right. When you moan from the sensation, Lo‘aks body shudders in response, like your pleasure was ultimately connected to his own. 

"C-Coming, Lo I‘m… oh fuck I’m coming", you whine and that’s what snaps him out of his thoughts. He feels your legs tremble, how you hold your breath and more slickness begins to seep out of you and then it crashes through you. 

It’s a feeling of pure bliss for him, to know that your coming on his cock, that he’s the one making you feel like this. He’s relentlessly rubbing your clit and you whimper and sob, reaching down to try and shove his hand away because he’s starting to overstimulate you. It doesn’t seem to stop him.

"Give me one more, please tanhì, come for me again", Lo‘ak groans next to your ear, adding just a little more pressure to your clit to make you cry out and shudder from each firm, deep stroke of his cock. Your inner walls cling tightly to his shaft, squeezing him, flexing around his warm, intruding length, coaxing him deep inside with each thrust.

"Shit– you feel so good, I’m gonna cum too!" His eyes were foggy with lust, and his shaft twitched and throbbed wildly inside you. The velvety-soft feeling of your walls was enough to make him forget everything but the pleasure he craved. Lo’ak wasn’t himself anymore. Everything about you made him lose his mind further. He was working single mindedly towards his orgasm, desperately thrusting over and over into you, chasing the ecstasy of his oncoming climax. 

His fingers worked roughly over your clit, fast and tight circles that made you forget to breathe until you felt another orgasm approach quickly.

"Oh fuck, fuck yesyesyes", you squeaked and even in the dark, Lo’ak could see your eyes rolling back into your head as the pleasure overtook you again. He feels your walls spams around him and that’s what finally tips him over the edge too.

Lo’ak buries his face in the crook of your neck, moaning something so low and garbled that you barely picked up that it wasn’t said in Na‘vi. You didn’t care to ask what he said just yet, too busy catching your breath as you slowly came down from your high. 

It took Lo‘ak a significant amount of time to finally pull out of you and rearrange his clothes. You barely moved next to him, breathing now even and calm and he knew you were on the verge of falling asleep. He moves as quiet as possible as he pulls his arm out from under your head to get up. 

"It’s almost morning, you ass", you tiredly mumble while turning from your left to your right side, "I have to get up at sunrise.”

“Worth it”, he whispers more to himself than to you, a big grin plastered on his face. 

“I hate you,” you groan, scrubbing your hands over your eyes. Lo’ak snickers, making his way towards the entrance of your marui.  

“Oh, hey, wait,” you then say, propping your head up. He stops short, meeting your gaze. “What did you say, you know, earlier? I was kinda… preoccupied and didn’t hear.” He could hear the teasing tone in your voice.

“Kinda? You wound me,” Lo‘ak says, placing a hand over his heart and pouts playfully. “You think I remember what I said while I was nutting, skxawng?”, he chuckles and then shrugs, causing you to roll your eyes. Before you can reply, though, you yawn. Seeing that Lo‘ak was still standing in the doorway leaves you tempted to throw something at him to finally get him out. You really needed some sleep now, at least for a few more hours.

"See you later?"

"Yes, yes now get out", you wave him off, voice muffled against the furs, that you used as a makeshift pillow, you had now buried your face in. 

Lo’ak then finally turns and heads out. But as soon as his back was facing your marui, his playful expression slackens. His brows scrunch up as he walks back to his own tent, staring at the ground in disbelief, hands balled into tight fists on his sides.

I love you.

I love you, was what he had gasped into your neck when he was too overwhelmed with the smell, the taste and the feeling of you. Fuck.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Lo‘ak was fuming. 

His father couldn’t have picked a better timing for this sort of conversation. Ever since he completed his Iknimaya, years ago when he was welcomed as an adult in his clan, his father had urged him to find a mate. He would ask again and again, introduced all kind of women to him. A few years ago it was embarrassing, having your father make you talk to girls. But now it was simply annoying. 

There was a short period of time where his dad had stopped asking, but for whatever reason, he had decided to try again, just a few weeks ago. And that, at the worst timing possible. 

"So… you still don’t like any of the women your dad wants to set you up with?" 

Your voice was soft, carefully even, as if you walked on tiptoes around him. Speaking to him like he was made out of glass. It made him feel vulnerable and he hated it. He hated it, because it felt good that you allowed him to be vulnerable. Speaking to you always made him feel so much better. But now he realized, that moments like these only made him fall for you even more.  

"No", he simply said. 

Lo‘ak laid on his back, hands folded over his stomach as he glanced up to the crowns of the trees. A few rays of sun shined through the thick leaves, warming and tickling his skin where they touched him. 

Propping yourself up on your elbows, you turned to face him. "What about Rena? She seems like a nice girl."

"Rena is fucking crazy", Lo‘ak told you honesty, "Tarem told me she’s super jealous and I’m not into obsessive woman. I need my freedom, you know?" She wouldn’t let me continue to stay friends with you, was what he intended to say.

A deep sigh left your lips and that’s what brings him to finally look at you. You had moved into a sitting position, cross legged, while braiding a loose strand of your hair. 

"Sure you do. Have you even met any of them yourself before you judge?" 

Lo‘aks brows furrowed before he spoke, his hands wildly gesturing with every word, "I‘m just not ready for a commitment like that. Choosing a mate for life that’s– that’s a lot of pressure. I‘m still young, there’s plenty of time!" His tail trashed against the ground, clearly irritated. It wasn’t like he was lying. He really wasn’t ready for all of that— but the fine difference to make it the whole truth was, the he only wasn’t ready for such a commitment… if it wasn’t with you. 

"How come your parents don’t make you choose a mate? You’re just two years younger than me!"

"Well, probably because I’m not the olo’eyktan’s son", you chuckled.

"Neteyam is next in line, not me", Lo‘ak grumbled and again, you sighed. 

"I know that myself", there’s a long pause as if you were trying to choose your next words right, "Lo‘ak, your father is just trying to give you the same happiness he has with your mother. You—"

"My dad is just trying to set me up because he thinks that will make me stay out of trouble", he interrupts you, probably a bit too harsh for his own liking. Lo‘ak wanted to punch himself for the way you looked at him now. "I’m sorry, kalin. Can we… can we just like, not talk about this anymore? I wanted to see you because I didn’t want to think about this right now."

This. This meant, the thought of loosing you to someone else. Having to choose someone as his mate that wasn’t you. 

"You’re right, sorry", you quickly apologize with a smile, a genuine smile that warms his cheeks. Lo‘ak inhales a deep breath, closing his eyes for a moment as if that would make him forget the world around him. Forget you. 

The gentle touch of two soft, warm palms on his thighs then snaps him back to reality. Opening his eyes, Lo‘ak props himself on his forearms to look at you. You had settled yourself closer to him, your hands now gently massaging his upper thighs and ever so slowly, working themselves further up.

"What are you doing?", he chuckles with the tilt of his head and some of his braids sway over his shoulder with the movement. The smile on your lips is smug and he knows that look on your face, like you’ve planned something.

"Hm, I don’t know", you shrug innocently, "I was just wondering if there‘s anything I can do to make you feel better?" The seductive tone in your voice makes something stir inside him, yet he can’t do anything but smile weakly.

There’s nothing he wants to do more right now than to feel you, hold you close and loose himself in the pleasure that you provide, but the thought of loosing you to someone else, the thought of his destiny being with someone else still lays heavy in his heart. 

"I don’t know if I’m in the mood for this", he sighs.

"Not in the mood? You?", you gasp jokingly, "Who are you and what did you do to my Lo‘ak?"

My Lo‘ak. The words make heat creep up his cheeks and the tip of his ears.

Sometimes he forgets how well you know him, and then he’s reminded of it at the worst possible moments, like right now. 

The sex was one thing. But to have someone understand your mind is a different kind of intimacy. Something he wasn’t willing to loose. 

Still, Lo‘ak doesn’t resist when your hands move further up, massaging the muscles of his thighs and caressing his skin. It just feels so good, he can’t help but let it happen. He watches in awe as you inch closer to him, untying his loincloth to let his half hard cock spring free. You don’t even hesitate to reach out for him, both hands closing around his shaft to feel him grow fully hard in your palms as you begin to stroke him. Lo‘ak mutters some quiet curses, watching how you let spit pool in your mouth before letting it drip from your tongue to the mushroomy head of his cock. Now lubed with spit, your hands glide over his shaft so much easier, so smooth, that the pace of your strokes effortlessly increases. 

"Tanhì, baby, please", Lo‘ak grunts, hips twitching in an effort to stay seated and not fuck right into your palm. "Shh", you coo with a smug grin, "Let me make you feel good, Lo. Just relax. We’re gonna fuck soon enough." Your promising words send a shiver down his spine.

"Oh eywa", he prays, his voice shaking and barely above a whisper, when your thumb starts to tease his slit, where the first bead of pre-cum had already formed and spilled over. You smear the sticky, clear liquid over the soft skin of his tip and he groans.

Slow and steadily, you add more speed and pressure to your hands, moving up and down, sometimes in a twisting motion that produces these obscene squelching sounds in your spit slicked palms. Lo‘ak moans and his cock twitches heavily, hips stuttering as he chases his upcoming orgasm. Pleasure ripples through him with each firm stroke and he feels his chest tightening.

"F-Fuck, fuck, holy sh–shit that feels so good", he curses, squirming underneath your touch, with his head thrown back and his eyes squeezed shut. "Keep going, no wait—", his eyes fly open to find yours, "stop, stop, stop tanhì I’m close!"

"What’s wrong?", you tilt your head and giggle, the pace in which you’re stroking his fat cock never faltering and he almost chokes on his next words. "Can I come inside you?", he begs with a whimper, "Please, please let me come in you, I’m— I don’t want to come like that. Need to fill you up with my cum, baby. Please."

You squeeze your thighs together at his words, a wave of arousal pooling between them. The whine Lo’ak produces, when you don’t let up, is helpless. He’s twitching, gasping, moaning, unable to form words as you work his cock, hard and fast.

"Hmm, you can do that later, okay? Just let go for me now. Come. I know you want to, don’t hold back, Lo."

Twisting your hands, you do that thing you know he loves, that always tips him over the edge. You squeeze just below the tip of his cock with one hand, the other stroking his length so hard that his heavy balls smack against your palm the same way they would against your clit when he would take you from behind, face shoved against the ground. Like you knew that’s the imagine that’s playing in his minds eye as you bring him to his orgasm.

"Oh great mother— FUCK", Lo‘ak groans and then sucks in a sharp breath of air. He cums with short bursts of exclamations, thick ropes of warm, sticky cum shooting out, flowing over your hands and his own stomach and thighs. "There you go, that’s it", you coo so sweetly as you continue to pump his cock, it’s enough to make him moan. Trembles run through him and when you don’t stop stroking him, only slow down and lessen the pressure, his thighs jolt. His hips move, like he’s about to rise up, to get away from the intensity, but your hands keep holding onto him. Moving one hand to his stomach, you feel the muscles tense underneath the soft flesh.

Lo‘aks breathing is ragged and heavy and you keep a loose hold of his cock, smiling at the way he’s twitching with the aftershocks. It’s no surprise that he doesn’t grow soft in your palm, still hard as a rock thanks to his enviable stamina. You give him a final squeeze, causing a few more droplets of his cum to seep out of his slit and run over your knuckles. 

"Holy shit", he shakily exhales, "you’re way too fucking good at this."

And that’s really the problem, isn’t it? You’ve done this for so long that you both know what gets each other off. You know what it is about your bodies that the other person loves. You’ve learned and grown together and pleasured and fucked each other until there was nothing else to learn. 

"Thank you", you beam with pride, your cheeks turning into a soft pink and without thinking, Lo’ak reaches for you, hand cupping the back of your neck so he can haul you into a kiss. You go willingly, matching his vigor, match his energy like no one else does. And that’s one of the things he loves about you. One of the things that’s been driving him crazy, keeping him up until ungodly hours as he tries to figure out how someone could affect him this way.

You rest your hand on his chest, tilting your head and he instantly wedges his tongue between your lips. With your other hand, you free yourself from your loincloth, with the simple pull of a string that holds it together. Lo‘ak hastily pulls you on top of him and positions you to hover over his cock. 

His hands settle on your hips and he wants to pull you down so badly, he want to split you open on his cock, wants you to scream so loudly that every living thing in the forest knows what’s going on. He wants the whole world to hear.

Lo‘ak is so painfully hard and aching as if he didn’t just came. Just like he always is when you touch him, when you arch your back like this, when your hands hold onto his shoulders. The soft curve of your waist, the swell of your breasts and your glistening cunt hovering just inches above his cock— Lo‘ak is so intimately aware of everything he loves about your body in this moment, it makes his heart swell and his cock stir.

But instead of slamming your hips down like he so desperately wanted you to, you decide to sit down on his length, trapping it between his lower stomach and your pussy. You glide yourself against it, grind your clit along his cum covered shaft and he shudders. Your movements are painfully slow, too slow. 

It isn’t supposed to be so slow, so intimate, as it is, so smooth with no worries or such flowing words.

"You feel soo good, hmm so hard just for me? Can’t wait to have you inside of me", you whisper, soft praises falling from your lips before you press them against his own again, tongues curling around each other. Meanwhile, your slickness mixes with his still warm cum and it drives him further insane, knowing just how easy it would be to sink his cock into you right now.

"Let me take over", Lo’ak whispers against your lips, "please. You’re too soft, I don’t want it soft today." He adds more pressure to his grip on your waist, tempted to just manhandle you, flip you onto your stomach to take what he so desperately craves for.

"How do you want it then?", you ask lowly. Your eyes are half lidded with lust and you circle your hips until the head of his cock prods at your entrance. Feeling the muscles of your tight hole clench around his very tip makes him hiss. 

It’s supposed to be wrong and needful, something dirty to make the whole forest regret ever enduring such a view, such sounds and smells. 

"Rough, like… I don’t want to be able to still think anymore, that kind of rough."

What he wants from you in this moment is not warmth or comfort, he wants his deepest desires to be fulfilled and within that, be left limp and used and emotions disobeyed. It’s to be wrongful and with scrunched eyebrows, dirty. It’s not supposed to be like this. Not slow and sensual, teasing and loving and comforting. It’s not supposed to be like this, not right now. Not when this fueled the fire in his heart, made him want you even more, made him love you even more.

Lo‘ak wanted to fuck. He wanted to feel used and not loved, because that would only make things so much worse than they already were. He knows you mean good, that you want to help him feel better, that’s why you go slow and soft and almost lovingly. You just didn’t know what it did to him. You just wanted to comfort your best friend.

"Oh I can do that", you murmur with a grin, "Want me to fuck the thoughts out of your head? Okay." Thank eywa, he thought. 

And then you suddenly rise your hips and slam yourself down, hard, taking his whole length in one thrust, stretching you out to the max and he knows that must’ve hurt at least a little. Your mouth falls open and you both moan in unison. Lo‘ak’s thighs tense, trembling, because it’s only been a few minutes since he came and he’s not sure how much it will take for him to do it again. But you feel so good, your pussy pulling him in, wet walls clenching around his girth and he just knows that won’t be problem. He probably had to calm himself in order not to come too early.

In this position, he’s completely at your mercy and you don’t hesitate to fuck yourself onto him. He hisses at the sensation, at how your cunt clutches him, trying to keep him inside even when you lift your hips up and slam back down again. This goes on for several minutes, with you bouncing on top of him and Lo‘ak moaning and whining and squirming underneath you.

The mushroomy head of his cock knock against your cervix with every thrust and the grip he has on your waist is hard enough to leave bruises. And that’s exactly what he needs. He wants to drown in this moment, in this feeling. But then you moan his name, so sweet it feels like warm syrup poured straight into his brain, "Lo‘ak, oh fu-ck! Lo‘ak, ah!" 

Is this how it’s supposed to feel? Lo’ak asks himself, is love supposed to feel like you’re drowning until the other person brings you just that little bit closer to them and you find air again?

Maybe it isn’t love at all, just the familiarity and warmth of simply being with you, being with his best friend, and all the rushing happiness in that alone. Maybe it’s not love, maybe it’s just the afterglow of every orgasm that you give him, that makes him believe he’s in love with you. Maybe he’s confusing friendship with love, because of the sex, the intimacy. Two things that shouldn’t mix at all, sex and friendship, probably for this exact reason.

Maybe he’s just so starved for affection that he mistakes what you show him, the affection a friend shows him, with love. Is that what it is?

Your arms suddenly shift from where you held onto his shoulders and it snaps him out of his thoughts. It’s not enough. He’s not supposed to think, it’s not hard enough if he can still think.

"Harder", Lo‘ak begs, "Need it harder than that, c’mon tanhì, give me your worst. Fuck me like you mean it, I know you have it in you." You brush your gentle hands through his hair, his braids are a mess by now but you don’t really care as you fist them and tug harshly with every bounce of your hips and he moans loudly at this. His cock twitches wildly inside you, showing just how much he was enjoying this, so you move further to close your hand around his queue and pull, hard, making him gasp and whimper.

Another thing you didn’t know about was, that Lo‘ak couldn’t stop daydreaming about what it may feel like to form tsaheylu with you. To be bonded with you, not just by heart but by soul too. To be physically connected with you, being able to feel what you feel. To be yours forever. The thought alone was enough to make goosebumps appear on his arms. But that’s all that it was and all that it will ever be. A thought, a simple daydream. A silly little fantasy that would never come true. 

He tries to push these thoughts, those that threatens his peace and calm. He slaps them away, bringing him back to the pleasure he's receiving. 

Lo‘ak abruptly sits up beneath you. His hands wrap tight around your waist, lips placing wet, open mouthed kisses along your collarbone. 

He feels sometimes rise in throat, burning like lava that erupts from a volcano and he can’t hold it in any longer, not without burning his tongue. 

“I love you”, he murmurs into your skin, lowly, like maybe you won’t hear him if he speaks quietly enough. It’s not like you would understand the human’s language, anyways. 

"W-What?", you ask, completely unsuspecting of the foreign words falling from his mouth and it makes him wince.

Lo‘ak presses his face to the space between your breasts, smelling your sweat and your natural scents and he pulls you all the way down by your hips so you’re sitting on the very base of his cock, rocking you along it. 

"I love you so much", he mumbles, just a little louder this time because he’s unable to hold it in any longer, "You’re my best friend and I don’t want to loose you, but I love you. I- I‘m so fucking scared to loose you, you mean everything to me. You’re the one good thing in my life and I just can’t live without you, you hear me? But I love you and I want to tell you. I love you so much."

You wrap your arms around his shoulders and use him for leverage to lift yourself up and down on his cock again, your wet cunt squeezing, hugging him. Sloppy noises make their way out and he vaguely recognizes the words falling from your lips.

“Lo’ak I… I don’t understand", you whine into his ear, "Say it so I can understand you.” You demand and he’s helpless, a slave to your desires, every sweet roll of your hips sending bolts of lightening through his guts. He grunts, fingers digging into your hips, pressing his lips together into a thin line to prevent himself from spilling any more unwanted confessions.

Lo‘ak wants to— by Eywa, he really fucking wants to, he wants to tell you that he loves you, that he actually means it and he’s not confusing anything and it isn't just because of what's going on between you both, it’s not because of the sex. He loves you for yourself. For how you make him feel, for how you treat him. He wants to tell you so many things, but at the same time, he's afraid of fucking up your friendship. It hurts to know that you will never look at him the way he looks at you, but he's willing to accept that you'll probably always be just friends. Because even then, he's still getting what he so desperately wants from you. 

He’s willing to accept that. Or at least that’s what he thought…

“Say it!” You gasp, the friction of his pubic bone against your clit sending you into a frenzy. You raise yourself up higher, until only the tip is inside. Your thighs work to keep you up and then you slam back down and he shudders, moaning like it’s been punched out of him.

His arms encircle your middle, holding you so tight that you can barely breathe. He’s pretty sure you can feel his pulse thumping through his dick and then he bucks up into you, making your tits bounce against his chest and you gasp as the tip of his cock thumps against something that feels different than the rest. “Oh f-fuck, there?”

“There, yes right there,” you moan back.

He seizes your hips, holding you in place. You whine, desperately, and he’s quick to oblige you. He thrusts up, cock disappearing and reappearing in a blur, tirelessly fucking against your g-spot, his thighs tensing at the tight squeeze of your walls around his cock.

In the corner of his eyes, he catches the way your teeth sink into your lower lip and something primal comes over him, an animalism for your noises to overpower the familiar sounds of the forest.

"Lo, what– what did you say?", you mewl and Lo‘ak mentally curses you for not letting go of it. Just forget about it already, he thought. Why couldn’t you just ignore it? One of his hands wedges itself between your bodies, thumb blurring down to your clit. He fondles the overly sensitive, wet nub and groans when he feels your pussy clench even harder around his throbbing cock. You borderline scream, trying your best to smother it with a scramble of your hand. It doesn’t help, the noise choppy with every powerful thrust of his hips into you. 

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, I’m— I‘m so close", you cry out, chanting curses like they’re prayers.

"I know, baby, I know. Can feel you squeezing my cock. You’re so fucking tight like this. D-Don’t you dare stop", he moans, "I‘m gonna come with you."

"Say it. Tell me what you just said Lo‘ak, I‘m serious, I w—" He cuts you off with a well-timed snap of his hips, burying himself into you so deep, it’s rendering you speechless. Your mouth gapes open, eyebrows scrunched with pleasure as the stretch of his cock hurdles you over the edge and you come with sob.

You’re even tighter than before, your cunt acting desperate as it tries to keep him from pulling out. He moans your name into the crook of your neck, holding your waist for stability as he rises his hips off the ground to thrust into you. You feel every muscle in his body tighten under you, a stinging pain shooting through you from the death-grip he had on your hips, pulling you up and down on his cock when you’re unable to ride him on your own anymore.

Lo‘ak grunts and squeezes his eyes shut and he keeps most of his length inside, only pulling out a few inches at a time before pressing right back in and then he comes with a violent shudder, feeling his whole body seize with pleasure. His cum fills you within seconds, so hot you think it might leave burn marks, pooling below your belly button as rope after rope shoots from the tip. He’s panting, cock twitching with every breath, and for a moment it feels endless, but then— 

"I- I see you, tanhì. And I love you. I love you, okay? Fuck, I love you so much!" He blurts out so fast, his brain is unable to translate into the sky people’s language in time and he has no idea what he even just said. He prays that you didn’t understand him, didn’t hear him— But unfortunately, you did. You heard him loud and clear, if the way your eyes widened was any indication of it.

And for less than a second, there’s something in your eyes that gives him the impression that this might not be the end. But then something in them shifts. And you look at him, you properly look at him now, as if the words had finally sunken in. And suddenly it feels like the whole world around him begins to crumble. 

He watches the way your pupils dilate, how they flick from one eye to the other, how you swallow around the lump in your throat while his own has dried out so much, he wasn’t sure if he would ever be able to use his voice again. And then your mouth opens and time stops. He sees the way your lips move but the sound takes a while to reach his ears.

And this, this moment right here, is the ultimate and unstoppable impact after a long fall. But unlike the impact to the ground after an actual fall, short and deadly, this right here is merciless, it’s brutal and gruesome and so, so much more painful.

"Oh, Lo‘ak… I’m so sorry…"

[kalliyen]

Seatmate Sweetness

Pairing: 4nemo Boys x GN!Reader (seperate)

Featuring: Venti, Xiao, Heizou, Kazuha, Wanderer

Genre: Fluff, Crack, teasing?? is that a genre idk, school au, modern au

Summary: Seatmates who have a sweet secret crush on you ;)

Reader’s Pronouns: Not specified

Warning: this is gonna be shit cause i haven’t written i so long bye 😘 🤾‍♀️

Disclaimer: ⚠️ ONLY A WORK OF FICTION!

♯ Venti !

Venti as a seatmate would be….interesting to say the least

he’s that kid who’s always late even if he lives literally just across the school

he also has this tendency to sleep in class, when he finds the topic boring

which is, every topic in every subject

but when your homeroom adviser changed the seating arrangements and you were assigned to sit next to him, he started changing

he noticed that you were a very precise person. always at class on time very smart responsible the whole smart kid shebang yk

and when YOU were assigned to seat beside him, you were dreading it. great, now someone was just going to get in the way of your studies.

a few weeks go bye and venti is still the same as ever, slacking off, sleeping in class, and one day he even drooled a bit on your paper, which finally made you snap

luckily there wasn’t any teacher in class at the moment to witness you snapping

let’s just say his cheek was red for the whole day, and not in a good way.

he told his friends about it, which they said he deserved, which made him seethe even more

at night he thought about it, how you would focus in class, how your hair would cover you face when you double checking your notes

you looked adorable while doing it, he thought. now his face got even more red, now this time out of embarrassment

how could he realize he liked you after you slapped him infront of the class? was it a kink or something?

the next day, you apologize to him, which he didn’t even notice or listen to you for that matter, focused on your lips rather than what was coming out of it.

“venti? hello? are you listening?” you say waving your hand around his face

“i know how you can make it up to me y/n” venti starts, “really? what is it?” you say confused, tilting your head to the side

“we could go on a date together!” now both of your cheeks were a rosy pink

♯ Xiao

now xiao here was the silent smart type as we all know, while you were the giddy type who couldn’t seem to stay in your seat

he didn’t really mind it to be honest, you rarely talked to each other. but there was an understanding that you both respected each other’s space.

when your history teacher, mr. zhongli, assigned you together for an assignment, you didn’t really mind. xiao was smart and hot, from what you could tell he was also somewhat kind in his own peculiar way

you worked on it together for the rest of the period, and xiao couldn’t help but notice his heart beating even faster than it did before. it always beated quickly when you were around, which made him feel confuse inside.

after class, he asked his father figure mr. zhongli (wow who would’ve thought i did this)

“i don’t know sir, whenever im near them my heart beats 10 miles an hour, i don’t know if this is a good or bad feeling sir, perhaps whenever im close to them i might meet my demise? is this a sign that something bad will happen if i go near them? should i stay away from them? but i don’t want to stay away from them, their very kind and sweet, albeit sometimes loud, and sometimes i-“

zhongli cuts off xiao before he can utter another word, zhongli comes to the conclusion that his son was very down bad for you.

“it seems that you have developed romantic feelings for y/n. and might i add xiao, i do approve of this liking towards them, they are a very caring and sweet person indeed. this is merely a suggestion, but why don’t you tell them how they make you feel? the school festival is about to commence soon, that would be a good opportunity wouldn’t it?”

xiao thought about it for a minute, yes it was a good idea. but how will he ask you?

zhongli suggests to ask you by word, or if xiao is too nervous then by letter, xiao decides on the latter part.

he goes home that day, on his desk, pen in hand and staring at the paper.

he has so much to say and at the same time, nothing at all. he wants to tell you everything and nothing at the same time. is this what love feels like?

finally after what felt like hours, he’s finished his letter to you, making sure it looks presentable, because you only deserve the best.

he makes sure to wake up extra early the next morning, and make it to school before you do

he places the letter on your desk, and waits for you, anxiously replaying all the possibilities in his head

lucky for him, the outcome he was expecting most, came to fruition

♯ Heizou

heizou here is the diligent yet flirty president of your class. while you were quiet and kept mostly to yourself, choosing to draw in your sketchbook rather than converse with anyone.

it’s not like you didn’t have friends, you just didn’t like talking much.

since you sit on the front beside heizou, your often bombarded with the amount of paper he has piled on his desk because of yhe obscene homeworks the teachers assign you.

it kinda bothers you a bit when you barely have any room to put your things on your side of the desk but you don’t say anything, because every morning heizou sits at his side of the desk you can see his baggy eyes and unkempt hair which makes him 10x more attractive in your opinion. but he didn’t need to know that

during another one of his stress sessions you seem him struggling with a particular project in a subject you were quite good at.

but of course heizou didn’t have any balls to ask anyone for help, having the mindset of “because i am the president, i shan’t let anyone see any weakness.” (which was total bullshit btw)

you meekly tapped his shoulder which made his face bolt directly to you, way closer than he was intending

you offer your help, saying he clearly needed it and at this point heizou doesn’t have the energy to decline, so he listens to you explain the assignment in full detail, taking note how your eyes seems to glint in the sunlight and how your soft hands brushed his slightly calloused ones

he may or may not go to you when there’s an assignment on purpose, even if he fully understands the concept.

he thinks it’s a win win, he can spend more time with you and complete his tasks

(even if he’s just staring at you 99% of the time)

♯ Kazuha

let’s be real this boy is rarely in school

but when he is at school, he’s just sleeping most of the time

when the teachers try to corner him with a question when they catch him dozing off, he manages to answer them correctly

they ignore him after that LMAOOOOO

but when you, transfer to his school in the middle of the year and get assigned next to him, he starts to take a liking to you

you’d make notes for him in class while he sleeps, thinking he had a rough night before, which he finds really nice and so adorable

of course in return, he helps you with concepts you don’t understand or if you’re having trouble understanding japanese

he doesn’t know how he ended up in this situation but right now your in his home, speaking to his moms and having dinner with them

it’s not like he didn’t like that you were at his home, quite the opposite frankly but it turns out that his mothers find out about his little crush on you

all evening his mothers have been indirectly teasing him, even going as far as almost revealing his crush on you

after dinner was finally over, he takes you to his room (his moms gave him teasing winks that made his face all red) and showed you all the memorabilia he’s acquired from his adventures with his moms

you found them so amazing, and when you look back at him he’s stepping forward to you which makes you freeze in place, despite feeling a quick warmth on your lips

your at his house even more often after that event ;)

♯ Wanderer

absolutely HATES GOING TO SCHOOL

but is one of the top students 🤷‍♂️

his aunt makes him go saying that learning is an essential part at life

“auntie that’s bs i don’t-“ he gets slapped in the face

goes to school cause he didn’t wanna get spanked in the face again LMAOOAOAOA

as his deskmate he actually really really likes you, even more than a deskmate actually

but boy has no way to tell you

sometimes he sees that you have nothing to eat for lunch so he gives you his “extra” saying that he doesn’t want you to faint in class, making him take you to the nurse’s office

nahida always wonders why her nephew stays up so late to make food for 2 people, but she doesn’t push the subject further

you thought it was really sweet of him, and his cooking was amazing! why would people say that he’s mean and an arrogant bastard? (he is tho just not to you lol)

you wanna repay him with something, so you decide to make some brownies for him, not knowing he despises sweets

you stay up all night, wanting to make them as perfect as the food he gives you

you pack it in a cute lil bento with a lil thank you note sticked to it and get to bad, excited of what his reaction will be to the pastry you’ve made him

the next do you can clearly see the disinterest in his face when he sees your brownies (he thinks he’s hiding it well he’s really not) which makes you feel really bad

“do you not like them? i can make something else for you, i just wanted to return the favor since you always give me your extra lunch, i’m sorry if this isn’t what you like”

his face goes IMMEDIATELY red with embarrassment, mostly at himself because of how a dumbass he is 💀

“i didn’t mean it with i’ll intent y/n, it’s just that i’m not really fond of sweets, but i would like to try one” he responds an idea popping into his head

“really? what is it? i’ll make it for you! to make up for these ones you don’t like, just give me the recipe and-“ you get cut off by him hooking his fingers under your chin

“you”

——————

a/n: bye this is so cringe if my friends see this they will never let me live this down

if your my friend irl PLEASE RESPECTFULLY STFU 😂😂😂

[reidrum]

good night moon | s.r

A/N: hi again ! this one is deeply self indulgent i fear but who cares i hope you like it as much as i do <3 ps let me know what kinda fics i should write next !!

cw: spencer reid x bau!reader, cm type violence, reader is afab but this only is referred to when mentioning reader is a daughter, sad thoughts, hurt/comfort, talks about nightmares, spencer just wants to take care you gdm it why won’t you let him

wc: 2.4k

_______________________________________________

trudging up the stairs of the bullpen, you tried your best to use whatever sense you had left to beeline to the kitchen to make another cup of coffee. thank god the bau had minimal reflective surfaces because you’re sure you look like the evil old lady from snow white. that was just, your opinion of course. to everyone else you looked fine.

fine was so subjective. what did these fuckers know about being fine? they weren’t the ones on the mission. they don’t know what you saw, how you did nothing, how you couldn’t do anything.

“FBI hands up!” you yell holding your gun and flashlight at the unsub. he’s holding the victim at knifepoint, a twelve year old girl who reminded you too much of yourself.

this unsub’s MO was kidnapping eldest daughters of families that had sons as well, because he believed the son should be the eldest child with the most responsibility and that the daughters were only there to create more babies. the team had deduced that he was the youngest child to an older sister who he felt had too much control over him, combined with his fascination with the perfect nuclear family, it slowly turned him into a sociopathic killer.

“come any closer and i’ll slit her throat!” the unsub bellowed, getting dangerously close to her carotid artery.

“you don’t wanna do that, man,” derek says behind you, “just put the knife down and we can talk.”

“there’s nothing left to talk anymore! i’m already going to prison. there’s no point.”

you called out the unsub’s name, “i know how you’re feeling, i have a younger brother too and he feels the same way you do sometimes. what your sister did to you was not okay, but not all sisters are like that. we just want to care for our family. let them have the chance to be the big sister you wished for.”

the unsub seemed to contemplate your words for a minute, then looks up at you with eyes devoid of any light, “then this one is dedicated to you, agent.” and he drags the knife across her neck leaving waterfalls of blood coming out.

you’re not really sure what happened next. a gun went off, presumably derek’s, to kill the unsub. and then it was you screaming as you rushed to the young girl to try and stop her bleeding, but it was no use. the cut was deep enough to nick that damn carotid and all you could do was hold her in her last moments.

“te- tell my family i love them, and that i’m sorry.” the young girl spurts out so softly you almost didn’t hear it.

“no sweet girl, don’t be sorry,” you say through hiccuped cries, “i’m sorry i couldn’t save you.”

the last thing you remember was feeling strong hands carrying you out of the building. you couldn’t hear much, the sound of your wails pretty much masked anything in a five mile radius. you could taste the iron lingering in your mouth from biting your lip too hard and desperately collecting the salty tears and sweat trickling down your face. at first you smelled smoke and dust, most likely from being in the cave where the unsub was. but as you were being dragged away from the crime scene you were influxxed with a musky scent, and a hint of vanilla with that fresh laundry smell. spencer. the last thing you see are his worried little brown eyes staring down at you before everything goes dark.

that was monday. it is now thursday. the case had wrapped up, the unsub was dead the families were notified and now you all were in the office doing your paperwork for the case.

and all of you were doing fine, right? everyone else had already coped and processed the case, already stepping back into their normal life routines. but you, you couldn’t have it that easy, but god you wish you did.

since that day, you’d been holing up in your apartment with all the lights turned on. you sat in your living room, eating a bowl of fruit loops and watching bluey, because listen it’s a great show and we should acknowledge it. you cry out loud seeing bluey care for her little sister bingo, and it brings you back to that dusty cave and the bloodied hands.

you could feel sleep creeping up on you, yet you subconsciously found a way to push bedtime by doing menial tasks like cleaning, extra long skincare, watching a movie. when you ran out of things to do, you entered your room and just stared at your bed. how were you supposed to admit to yourself that the horror isn’t in the movie you just watched where the creepy demons kill everyone, but it’s what is waiting for you behind closed eyelids.

so the only logical solution was to just, not sleep. you whipped out every trick in the book to stay awake for as long as you could— energy drinks, coffee, splashing cold water, anything so you wouldn’t have to reface your plagued memories.

spencer observed you from a distance. he watched as you got coffee a whopping three times before 10am, you picking at your skin, not to mention the bags growing under your eyes. it was then he formed a hypothesis, he was a scientist after all. that you simply were not sleeping because of the case. it was much less a hypothesis and more of a fact because he knew exactly what it was upon first sight of you, hell he invented the sleep avoidance look.

and as the inventor it meant he knew the feeling more intimately than he would like to admit. spencer knew what it felt like to be debilitated by the confines of your brain, holding onto shreds of memories you know are not worth remembering but have somehow marked their territory anyway. and everyone coped differently, for spencer he isolated himself for days and then threw himself into work. for you? well, that was the next part of spencer’s experiment.

spencer approaches you in the kitchen as you’re pouring your fourth cup before noon, “hi.”

“hi.”

“how are you? feels like we haven’t talked in a bit.”

“i’m good, sorry i’ve just been. busy.”

spencer frowned internally, he knew you weren’t doing a single thing but working at the office. “are you okay? do you want to talk about last week?”

you cut him off abruptly and start walking out, “i really have to finish these reports spence, talk to you later.”

spencer knew better, he should give you space to cope by yourself. you were an adult, you can take care of yourself. but you shouldn’t have to, he thinks. spencer still tells himself he knows better as he’s waiting on your doorstep that night, about to the rapp the door.

after a minute of no answer he knocks again this time calling your name through the door, “will you let me in please? i want to show you something.”

still nothing. he continues, “i know what you’re feeling, and i want to help, please.”

he almost gives up and turns around when he hears the turn of a lock and slight creek of the door opening to see you in all your beautiful glory.

now you, you were definitely a sight for sore eyes. avengers pj shorts with a baggy uni t shirt, hair flying in any direction, and a look that spencer could only describe as grief. but god if you weren’t the most beautiful human he’d seen in his life, he’d be lying.

you were coming up on day 3? or was it 4? of no sleep. it’s not like you were not sleeping at all you took little 30 minute naps each day, enough to get you some shut eye but not enough to make it your rem stage of sleep.

spencer speaks again, “can i come in?” you nod silently and open the door wider for him to step in. he removes his shoes and it’s then you notice a big ole tote bag he’s lugging to your living room.

“what’s in the bag?”

“ah, come sit. i brought magical things.” he smiles playfully.

you shuffle over to sit a seat’s cushion away from him and watch as he starts pulling item by item from his mary poppins bag.

candles, essential oils, books, but specifically romance novels with the silly cartoon covers that he swears aren’t real books but you argue with him until he concedes, melatonin gummies, pillow sleep spray, and one more item that he’s holding onto for what seems to be dramatic effect. you’re not amused.

“and the piece de resistance,” he presents the last item, and you look confused for a second, until you recognize the item in front of you and immediately start tearing up. in his hands is a grogu weighted stuffed animal that he holds out for you to take. “i know you’re not sleeping. it happened to me when, you know. i figured it would be helpful if you had someone who could empathize how you’re feeling. and because you’re my best friend and i care about you.”

your bottom lip trembles, and you feel the ice block you’ve kept yourself in this past week start to melt uncontrollably. “spence…” you breathe out so quietly. he did all this? for you? doctor spencer reid went out to the store, and bought a grogu stuffed animal for you to cuddle at night to ease your loneliness?

the concept of being taken care of was so foreign to you, as the eldest daughter in your family it was always you taking care of others and making sure everyone was okay. but rarely did anyone check on you, how you were holding up. and you had learned to cope by yourself, to handle the big emotions by yourself, but for once, someone was willing to take all that weight off your shoulders and let you breathe. and god, did it feel so cathartic you could burst out in sobs.

so you did.

“hey,” he says scooting closer to you so he can scoop you into his chest, “was that a lot? penelope said i’d probably overwhelm you but all of the things i brought are scientifically proven sleep additives-“

“no i just, that’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me.” you whimper.

spencer’s eyes soften, “you deserve it. what happened last week… was hard. i just wanted to help.”

“thank you,” he hears a muffled response and rubs his hands affectionately down your back, “damn, all this crying is making me so tired.”

“see! the magic of the poppins bag.” he chuckles. you laugh too. spencer thinks all the flowers in a mile radius just bloomed.

“it’s just,” you start out, nuzzling into his chest deeper, “the second i close my eyes and dream, i see her. and how i couldn’t save her. and how the others i couldn’t save either.” you feel your chest seizing up again.

“okay well hey, hey. you did what you were trained to do. any other agent in your position would’ve tried talking him down the way you did. and your personal story gave you an advantage that no one else would’ve had. statistically speaking, you were the best chance at getting through to him. yeah it didn’t work, but it wouldn’t be probability if it always worked,” he cradles your face in his big hands, “we’re all so proud of you, you know. rossi’s waiting for you to be back on your feet so he can host pasta night at his hou- sorry his mansion again.”

spencer looks down at you properly to your tear stained cheeks and brushes your hair back. he sees the pain and tiredness fighting behind your eyes and asks softly, “what do you need right now?”

“i’m tired.” you lament.

“then lets go sleep.”

“i can’t.”

“why not?”

“im scared.”

“well that’s why i brought the stuff silly goose,” he taps your nose, “come on, let’s go set it up.”

spencer brings all the sleep aids to your room and sets them up appropriately, even plugging in your sunrise lamp to help with the ambient lighting. the only thing left to do is for you to get into your bed.

you both stand on opposite sides of your bed, and he’s waiting for you to get in so can tuck you in. you hesitate and look up at him with the same worried eyes he saw all those days ago.

“could you stay for bit?”

“i can stay for some time if you want” you both speak at the same time. you giggle again, spencer thinks an angel got its wings.

thank god he wore sweats and a comfy t shirt he thinks. he slid in under the blanket and holds it open for you to come in, “come on, you’re missing the cuddle party with grogu and i!” you beam widely and finally sink into your bed.

spencer pulls you into his chest, wrapping an arm around your shoulder blade, and the other taking a spot on your hip rubbing soft circles. you lay your head to rest on his chest, right above his beating heart. you try to let the metronomic thumps lull you to sleep, but spencer can still feel your eyelashes fluttering about on his chest. he knows what you’re thinking, because of course he does.

“look at me,” he nudges you, you look up at his eyes again and see nothing but pure love and reassurance as he continues, “you are safe. nothing can hurt you. i promise.”

“are you sure?” you let out meekly,

“i’m sure. it’s okay, go to sleep,” he presses a gentle kiss to the crown of your forehead. “i’ll be here when you wake up.”

you shakily take a deep breath, and close your eyes.

after five minutes of spencer rubbing shapes into your back, he can finally hear the soft snores coming from below. he places another kiss on your head, whispers, “good night angel girl,” and doses off.

you wake up the next morning feeling so rested and relieved you can’t help but give spencer a big hug that wakes him up. spencer thinks he’d be the luckiest man in the universe if he could wake up like this everyday.

[chosolala]

𐙚 ⋆˚｡⋆ jjk pet headcannons

here are my headcannons on what pets i think the jujutsu kaisen characters would have, and yes i know they probably wouldn’t have time for pets or anything like that while being a jujutsu sorcerer but let a girl dream :]

characters: gojo, geto, nanami, choso, higuruma, kusakabe, toji

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

satoru gojo

i feel like he would have a really ugly pet but that pet is literally his whole world

he would spoil TF out of it

he has like a lizard or a snake or something

some kind of reptile i’m sorry

if u don’t like this pet expect him to chase you around his house with it

his pet is named after a digimon

suguru geto

he gives me big dog vibes idk why

like he probably has a huge rottweiler or something

and this dog loves him so much, whenever you come over he is always following geto around, sitting near him, laying next to him, all that

geto loves his dog definitely but he never talks about the thing, like you wouldn’t even know he has a dog until you see it for yourself

kento nanami

he would probably prefer not to have any animals in his home, the most i see him having is a really nice and fancy looking fish tank

he doesn’t really acknowledge it either, like he doesn’t talk about it he just likes how it looks in his living space

the decor is very nice in there, those fish have a nice home

choso kamo

i feel like he would have a cat that just followed him home one day and he decided to keep it

a small black cat that he treats like his baby

he definitely has a huge soft spot for this cat

he definitely uses a baby voice when he talks to his cat

they sleep together in the same bed

hiromi higuruma

this man does NOT need a pet adding more stress to his life

if he did have a pet it’d probably be like a turtle that he forgets about occasionally

he definitely doesn’t keep it for long because he feels bad that he can’t give this little guy a good life

atsuya kusakabe

he probably has like a crusty white dog or a really ugly chihuahua that he’s had for years

like this dog has been alive for an ungodly amount of time

he is literally expecting this dog to drop dead any day now

his dog is an ankle biter and even bites kusakabe occasionally

toji fushiguro

this man didn’t even stick around to raise his son what makes you think he’s making time for a pet??

i’m jk but like i don’t think he’d keep a pet that’s very high maintenance either, i feel like he’d actually have a super unconventional pet like a crab or a snail

he probably forgets about it too sometimes

he thinks about eating it when times are rough

[nevertheless-moving]

unable to stop dwelling on the discworld trouser leg of time where, in the penultimate fight scene in Nightwatch, Carcer manages to kill teenage Sam Vimes.

Which means that the future that Duke Vimes came from can no longer exist, which means he can’t go home. Meanwhile you’ve got a bunch of history monks with stored up temporal energy, a prepared space outside of time, and the need to do some desperate damage control before the Auditors get involved. Death shows up, reality is unweaving, Sam is reading Carcer his discworld miranda rights because what else is he supposed to do.

and finally, with little other option, the monks de-age Sam so he fits the time period and send him back out into the fray.

(they didn't call it deageing of course. His memory is hazy, splintered during that terrible in between moment, They....took the time out of him? Sanded away the edges of his self for a terrible, workable fit? It...wasn't a good feeling.)

Just—damn. Sam Vimes having to live his whole crapsack life over again, but this time as his disillusioned-reillusioned, unwillingly-character-developed, noir-epic, Duke of Ankh, Commander Sir Samuel Vimes self. 

Younger (Older? He's never felt so Old, His steps so Childlike, reality twisting in his gut like one of Dibbler's pies) Sam Vimes walking around in a haze after the revolution. Desperate to go home, knowing he can’t. Wanting to drink. Knowing he can’t.

The whole precinct feels pity, he really took Keel’s death hard, hardly speaks except to do his job. Eventually he has to grit his teeth and start being present, because what else is there to do?

Resists the urge to drink until Colon takes the whole watch out to celebrate because -he’s going to be a father!

Come on Sammy, one drink won’t kill you— and after the first drink he’s cracking jokes and after the second hes smiling and after the third hes honestly the life of the party and sometime after that he’s crying about how he was going to be a father and my wife would be ashamed if she saw me drinking like this and— 

Oh shit, Did anyone else know he had a wife?? A PREGNANT wife??? What—aren’t you like 12—no you're 17 now aren't you but when did—

You guys n’ver met ’er—oh gods none if you ev’n know ‘er, is jus’ me...

What—when did you lose—

I lost her the same damn day I los’ ev’rythin else, whadya think...bleeding Carcer...the fuckin revolution...

So! That! Sam only vaguely remembers the night, but rumors travel faster than light on the disc, so by the next day the whole damn city knows about poor Sam brung low by the loss of his poor, tragic, pregnant wife, so young to be a widower, and the Seamstresses nod because they already knew, don’t ask them how, somethings you just have to know in that trade.

And his mother—I don’t know, sue me, I’m a time travel fiend but there’s something deeply intriguing about a man meeting his dead parent, who is somewhat younger than him, and stepping into the old relationship like a badly fitting thing that's supposed to fit well. She would know, right? How would she deal with her son’s impossible grief? Maybe she wouldn’t know—he spent most of the time out of the house, running with different street gangs, maybe he avoids her until she dies and lives with the guilt twice over. God, we don’t even know her name. There’s just so much narrative and emotional potential that I don’t even know where to start.

When he’s on duty, which is most time - it’s agonizing because at first he remembers cases, saves lives that would have been lost. But the more time passes, the hazier his memory because in the original timeline he was becoming an alcoholic. Fuck! A kid dies and he could have saved her if he hadn’t been such a drunk, if he had just remembered where the asshole lived, but it’s all a haze, and he wants to drown out his guilt, but that’s what caused this in the first place.

Good young Sammy, who spends his rare off-time in dusty libraries (and yes, the irony that he’s apparently Carrot now is not lost on him) reading gods-only-know.

It’s not like he can ask the wizards for help, cutthroat and vicious as they are now in the not-so-distant-past.

Good young Sam, who...talks to the Broken Drum’s pet Bouncer like he’s a real person and not a dumb rock? That’s a bit weird, but he’s a bit of a funny guy.

Good old Sam, who believed the testimony of the dwarf who said the humans were trying to rob him and let the dwarf go??

the PROBLEMS this man would cause, good grief. Can you imagine a moderately progressive middle aged man with some degree of begrudging diversity and equity training that he did, for all his sins, pay attention to, suddenly going back to like, 1990, going back just 30 years, and going...oh damn this is kind of fucked up, no man you can’t say that, holy shit.

Except Sam’s lived through even more rapidly shifting social moroes! There’s no seamstress guild, there’s no women allowed inside the university, there’s no black ribboner’s society. People hunted trolls for their teeth! But Sam can’t just unlearn everything, and he can’t shut up, and he has no real luck and anyway he would absolutely get himself (temporarily) fired.

FUCK. Sam has no idea what to do with that. None. Zero clue. Wanders around in a haze until that dwarf he saved from police brutality finds him and insists on repaying the debt. No, he insists, do you have any idea what debt means to a dwarf?

“Sort-of?” he replies hesitantly, and that honest admission of incomplete knowledge shows a hell of a lot more respect and understanding than any self proclaimed dwarf-expert ever did.

Gets a job as a surface man, hauling rocks into the city. It’s backbreaking work, but, in true Discworld fashion, it’s also one hell of a workout (again the irony of being Carrot is not lost him. he freezes for a minute while hauling a rock cart, when he remembers he's technically Lost Nobility too, in a strict sense, but someone curses at him in the street and he's comfortingly grounded)

And here is where this au slides into a SPECTACULAR romantic comedy, BEAR WITH ME. Because in his time on the Watch he’s already done noir, action adventure, war story, detective who dunnit, psychological horror, but guards guards only allowed him to be a romance protagonist in an extremely limited context.

Give me righteous, twenty-something-looking, can’t-say-he-doesn’t-have-style, young Sam Vimes, not an alcoholic,  being fed three square meals a day by his dwarven forced found family, hauling rocks. He is startled to find him bumping his head on a low hanging bar that he doesn’t think used to be there, eventually realizing that he’s an inch or two taller than he remembers. Huh. Guess all that bearhuggers really did stunt his growth.

Still doesn’t get what some of the looks from women he’s getting are about, sure, he’s dirty but so is everyone else. Fine, he took his shirt off, but it’s hot out, there’s far wrinklier than him hauling heavy loads, get a life. 

Happens to glance in the Ankh one day when it’s particularly slow and shiny and is startled to realize that he might be turning heads for a different reason. Oh. Right, not that he was ever a heartbreaker, but he did alright for himself... when he was a younger and his face hadn’t been broken so many times. Which...it isn't now.

Is mildly disturbed by the revelation.

Especially once things blow over at the precinct and what with high mortality rates, he ends up with getting hired again. The boys are delighted to have him back, nevermind that he’s an odd one, noone is ever quite in your corner like Vimsey, absence makes the heart fonder, no one else works that hard, and he’s not even competition for promotion. All around great guy, we should set him up with somebody and just, no.

It just keeps getting worse! He’s literate! He’s a feminist! He believes abuse victims! He’s got a tragic backstory! He’s unreasonably good in a fistfight! He’s kind to animals! Word gets around that there’s a good man on the watch and he’s just waiting for a good woman to come snap him up. The widower excuse doesn’t hold people off completely, and for some it’s its own sort-of appeal. 

Things REALLY become stressful after he rescues that carriage full of noblewoman.

What’s he supposed to do? Let them get robbed? Or worse? Chasing down and beating up 10 goons is as easy as beating up one, when they’re that stupid, getting separated like that, drunk and distracted, and he knows these streets better than anyone, really it’s nothing. And oh lord he’s Modest too.

I mean, they were genuinely greatful, as genuine as people like that are capable of being, the skill having grown rusty. And then there is something...magnetic about the man. An air of command.

So, soon enough you get Lady Marigold of Marigrave calling on Treckle Road for that gallant young officer who rescued them, she really needs to thank him. And Viscountess Elanor Thitzferal specifically requesting that he guard her at her next soiree. And Baroness Julieta van Shoeholten insisting that he come to her home while her husband’s away, for... manly protection.

Aaaah just zero sympathy from the guys. None. 'It’s become a competition, they’re just trying to see who can get me into bed first, it’s like I’m a piece of meat, you can’t send me sir, the Marquess greeted me in a nightee last time you made me go to—' and 'small gods Vimes are you even listening to yourself, shut the hell up'.

Simultaneous to this, (again this is several years into the timeline) swamp dragon accessories come into style. Which means abandoned swamp dragons scrounging on the street. Vimes takes one back to his apartment, blows his paycheck on dragon medicine, and eventually, heart in his chest, brings it to the Ramkin estate. The sunshine orphanage doesn’t even exist yet and he’s just standing outside the gates like an idiot, what is he thinking. Turns around, but her carriage is pulling up and—

well. they meet. it's cute. he's never felt so young. he's never felt so old, too old for her, too poor—

and certainly her thoughts linger too long on the awkward, kindly, handsome young commoner, but is it any wonder she doesn't quite connect it to the stern, dangerous, sexy young guard the ladies seem to be in some quiet, cuthroat competition over?

i have this gorgeous, absurd scene in my head in which Vimes is strong armed into standing guard at some high society soiree and one of the pushiest ladies insists he dance with here, or, if he prefers, if he's not confident about his skills, he can dance with her in-private at her home and he’s like [grinding teeth, looking for a way out, seeinf one] “I would be honored to dance with you.”

Steps right into some ultra-complex dance with multiple partner swaps (she never thought he'd pick this one, devilishly intimidating to one not strictly trained, and you barely spend anytime with your first partner).

But he does alright. Better than alright, for a common man, sometimes misstepping but his hands and feet always end up where they need to be. Raises several eyebrows part way into the song because he's throuwing in some slightly scandalous, no innovative, extra lifts and twirls that wouldn't become fashionable for another decade or two. Who even is that guy? Some out of towner? No, no he's in a guards uniform...how very strange.

Gets to Sybll and she's used to embarrassment during these dances, she tries to get out of them when she can... but can't always. Men awkwardly skipping the lifts, or worse, trying and failing. But him — oh it's him, the one who helped little Erold, and looked at her like—like—well like she was someone beautiful. And he's doing it again, and he's strong and there's a quiet moment where she's in the air, they lock eyes, and the rest of the room melts away.

And then the partners change again, the moment ended.

Just...living throught it all again. To the left, a dance he almost knows the steps to, throwing others off balance with erratic moves , honest mistakes, and delibrate stepping on toes. Improvising. Ruining. Improving. Getting far, far too much attention.

Hes almost excited when the first assassains start coming after him. It's like a hobby.

Everyone tells him he should get a hobby.

Interactions with young vetinari...I don't have the energy to write it all down, the slow circling in on each other, both burning with the need to fix the city, save it, their city.

needless to say he ends up fired again, life under real threat after offending some high lord.

Conveniently enough he has an employment opportunity- bodyguard to fucking Vetinari on his 'grand sneer.' The bastard knows vimes isn't what he seems, though sam is pretty sure that he doesnt know the exacts.

Vetinari hypothesis:(the ghost of keel? Keels son, with some hereditary curse? Or a larger spirit of justice possessing a string of unrelated souls? He knows things he shouldn't- mind reader? Fortune teller? Havelock once arranged for a wizard to bump into him on the street, the magical fool gave an odd double look and then muttered something about destiny looping in on itself giving him a headache. Destiny? Lost noble? And hes far too familiar with sybyl, one of the few bearable noblewomen in this city. And his thoughts on guilds, when havelock can trip him into speaking... Most of all, if hes reading him at all correctly (for all the mystery hes not that hard to read, unless thats a very clever cover) then it seems that behind those dark haunted eyes is Respect. Loyalty. For vetinari. What an interesting man. A puzzling asset. An intriguing threat. )

Did I mention the timeline is changing, healing slowly around the place where it was torn? Healing enough around scars to perhaps get some flexibility back, with some painful stretches and...massaging of said scar tissue?

And hes heading to unresting uberwald, a place where a werewolf pack still hunts humans and, truely unrelated but perhaps equally exhausting, an eldritch spirit of vengeance just might be looking to stretch its legs in a hapless vessel?

Opening drabble Vimes Vetinari Meta (Unwell) Scene from the Uberwald Grand Sneer

[beatora-truther]

hello b*tfam tumblr pls don’t send me death threats but here is bruce’s children ranked from who i believe is his favorite to his least favorite

1. dick

i think this one speaks for itself tbh. i don’t think you can read any comics featuring the two of them or even comics where bruce mentions him and not come out thinking dick is his favorite. bc dick has the unique and unfortunate distinction of being not just bruce’s son, but his son-brother-friend-emotional-rock. dick knows him better than anyone in the universe. that’s why he’s so willing to drop everything whenever he feels like bruce needs his help. even when bruce won’t ask it of him. even when it’s to his own personal detriment. because if not dick, then who?

2. cassandra

i think a lot of ppl say cass is bruce’s favorite because their relationship is so unique that it’s hard to describe. i think he and cass are the most alike, so he’s able to relate to her in a way that he can’t with his other children. they share the same unyielding values. they share the same self-destructive behaviors that neither of them can recognize as being self-destructive. they share the same inability to reach out to others. and most importantly, cass understands batman in the same way bruce does. it’s not healthy, but that’s par for the course when it comes to bruce’s relationships right?

3. jason

this is gonna be a controversial one especially to my mutuals bc i know a lot of you don’t like jason (neither do i lol). but you need to separate the resurrected jason from the memory of jason bc that’s what bruce does. the way part of bruce is still stuck in crime alley watching his parents die, there’s also a part of him still digging his son out of the rubble. he does a remarkably good job at keeping the memory of the young and happy jason alive in his head while the actual jason is running around gotham killing people. their relationship can sour but that memory cannot be touched. that’s why the memorial case stays up. this doesn’t change anything.

4. tim

another controversial one here. we must dismantle fanon’s belief that bruce and tim always had a father/son relationship. we must remember that tim had a father for the majority of the time that he was robin. dick was tim’s brother, but bruce was not tim’s father. that came later. tim having a living father didn’t stop bruce from growing to love and care for him, but it allowed him to keep some level of emotional distance. because another thing we also must remember is the ways bruce changed after jason died. how do you stop blaming yourself for your son’s death? how do you let another child take up the same mantle? what if you get him killed too?

5. damian

let me start off by saying i do believe that bruce loves damian so much. i also believe love and like are not the same thing. bruce has had conflicts with all of his children, but the difference between them and damian is that he’s had a lot of good times with them too. that’s why they’re all so loyal to him despite his glaring flaws. bruce and damian didn’t really have that. it’s been tense since day 1, and every time they seem to make any progress, it’s all undone. and if i’m being honest, i think sometimes it disturbs bruce to look at damian and see parts of himself that he’s always hated. maybe their relationship would be easier if he could only see talia.

[hana-no-seiiki]

This is generally such a stupid ask but I feel like it would be.. Chaotic? At the very least amusing

Anyways

Batfam x Nicole from Class of 09! Reader

Do what you want (etc make it romantic or platonic, doesn't matter)

Just the batfam (yandere ofc) dealing with a chick who loves to ruin lives for her amusement and sometimes for revenge

Istg she'll just bully them at any chance she gets

~ 🕒

I just binged watched Class of ‘09 and all its endings/choices for you non. I don’t think I can fully depict how brash wittiness of Nicole is but here I go! (I am so traumatized) Didn’t know that’s where “No I’m flirting with you flash me a tiddy bitch” came from no wonder Nicole sounded so familiar.

btw if people are interested in watching class of ‘09 just be warned it’s basically a VN version of Degrees of Lewdity but the mc is actually a minor (without the sex/r*pe mechanic though) and it depicts a lot of just… pedophilia, necrophilia, assault, su*c*de, school shootings, racism??, BE WARNED.

The following content above ^ might be mentioned in this fic but in passing. MASSIVE DDDNE WARNING.

I don’t think I’m comfortable writing stepcest/incest in this blog so despite how perfect it’ll be to make Bruce your step father considering Nicole’s mom has divorced like a hundred times…maybe ask me in @yoru-no-seiiki and I’ll be down for it.

THIS IS ADMITTEDLY TIM + DAMIAN CENTRIC

“Do you even care? Do the results of your actions mean anything to you?”

“Yeah when they affect me, sure.”

You were a bitch. There was no denying that. But you were a pretty one. One many would grovel to be under.

You were used to this, ever since you reached a certain age people just looked at you different, acted in a way that… made you think they were boring, utter losers.

One of those losers was Tim’s friend.

Like all the stupid, horny men in your life, you hung out with him once and he spilled everything there was that you could share.

To the entire campus, the internet, even the news.

And because you were pretty, you got off scot-free. Those morons didn’t even check to see what you’ve been doing the past decade.

Except Tim. Timothy Drake. You only knew that his dad was super rich, and as much as it was tempting to sink your teeth into him and get a load of that daddy’s money, you knew better.

He apparently didn’t.

You see there was one thing every batfam member couldn’t resist. Well, two things. The first was saving people.

The second? Fixing them.

When Tim first approached you he was confused.

You were quite the popular figure in Uni. He heard the rumors. He fully expected to be cussed out to hell and back.

But you were… nice. Agreeable at most really. Brash was an understatement. But you were witty. Your comebacks were swift and deadly.

The more he studied stalked you the more he realized that the two of you were the same.

Two bright people stuck with dull idiots.

And Tim? Tim interested you enough for you to not to completely drop him after the first week. That and most of your bullying probably wouldn’t bode well towards the son of a billionaire.

He was smart, even more so than that nerd friend of his that you destroyed the life of. But more importantly he actually had some tact, and was surprisingly packed underneath all those baggy clothes.

Tim had to admit he was kind of forgetting his entire purpose of ‘fixing’ you.

Until you manipulated yet another guy into jumping off a school building for you. Thankfully he survived because Red Robin happened to be there to apprehend him but still!

And what’s worse, you met up with him afterwards talking about how that Red Robin ruined all your plans of crippling a r*pist.

Wait, a r*pist?

Tim looks through your past victims once more. Admitted he only did a surface level job of studying them in comparison to his PhD level knowledge on everything about you specifically.

And…you were right. Every guy you’ve harassed was being pushy with you in the first place, if not people with authority a decade older.

Fuck.

Well now he had no excuse. He had to make you his.

Meanwhile…

“Ugh, Damian. Can’t you tell your brother to like, fuck off or something? I can feel my social standing totally plummet every second he’s around. How do you handle being related to him?” You groaned. You weren’t fucking stupid. You knew Tim was stalking and drooling all over you lately. You hated it. He was ruining your chances with your new victims.

“Jeez [Y/N]. And here I thought you were like, into him.” Jessica, your actual crush and best friend, commented as she filed her nails.

You being the emotional stunted adult you were only replied with an (admittedly softer) “Eat a sandpaper cock and die bitch.”

Damian stared at you, the words die before they crawl out of his mouth. His hands clenched underneath the lunch tables.

Guess he had another thing to steal from his brother this time.

[psychickiss]

i’m not too late

— saiki kusuo x reader (gn, 2nd pov)

— summary: You come over to Saiki’s house to give him a (kind of last minute) birthday gift, which ends with you two hanging out in his room.

— notes: nottt beta read also!! maybe ooc kusuo 😵 also also! dt @kusuokisser

— things: confessions... blah blah... romantic!! quite awkward

— masterlist | request form | retrospring

Saiki’s mom calls out to her son, “Ku! Check who’s at the door for me, please?”

Saiki nods. He’s already heard the inner voice of whoever rung the doorbell to his home– he knows it’s you, and he knows why you’re there.

“Belated happy birthday, Saiki! Sorry I’m late, I didn’t know your birthday at first.”

Now, he needs a way out.

First, he accepts your gift. Maybe you’ll leave after he takes it. Of course, Saiki can’t just rudely shut the door on you– he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings get scolded by his mom. So, he engages in small talk. “It’s alright. You got the month right, at least. The only ones who greeted me correctly are Mera, Aiura and– to my surprise– Toritsuka.”

Confused, you ask, “And who... got the month wrong?”

“Everyone else. We partied in May. Is that all?”

Saiki tunes in to your thoughts, and he’s hopeful he’ll spend the rest of the day alone. Yes? No? I wanted to hang out, but maybe not? He clings onto that “maybe not” of yours.

Like any other person, you get curious. You ask him again, “No...? May? You guys partied in May?”

“It’s a long story,” he says. He’s hearing your (still) inquisitive thoughts. Saiki internally sighs. I need to get this over with, quick. There’s a show I want to watch that airs at 4:30 PM. It’s only 1 PM, but time is fast. He steps to the side, allowing you to walk past the gate. He doesn’t know why he’s letting you in. Saiki takes off his footwear before entering his house, and you do the same.

Saiki announces his presence to his mom, as well as yours. “Oh, dear! Are you here to celebrate Ku’s birthday? Have you eaten lunch already?”

You nod in response to both questions from Saiki’s mom. “Well, I’m not too sure about the celebration part... I figured I’d just give Saiki his gift, then leave–”

Saiki’s mom shakes her head. “No, stay! You obviously made the effort to come all the way here. Stay as long as you’d like.”

Good grief. Saiki forgot to take his mother’s friendly nature into account...

“Okay, I’ll stay.”

... As well as your politeness. Not to mention, the fact you’ve been looking for opportunities to be alone with him.

So, you and Saiki head up to his room.

You two aren’t the closest of friends. Sure, you’d go straight for him when you needed a partner for school and you two would sometimes walk home together, but you aren’t as close to him as Nendou and the others.

That doesn’t stop you from having feelings for Saiki, though. What started as a silly crush to help you pass the time in class developed into full-on fantasies of going on dates with him.

Usually, Saiki wouldn’t mind such things when it came to people like you– people who don’t act on their feelings– because that means he wouldn’t need to actively avoid you, but you confused him.

Saiki sometimes wanted nothing more than to ask you about your feelings for him, but that just felt uncharacteristic for him to do.

He wants you to act on your feelings– tell him how you feel. For what reason? He cannot put a pin on it. Not yet.

Saiki opens the door to his room, letting you enter first.

You sit on the foot of his bed and ask, “Did you have fun?”

Saiki sits on the chair in his room, which isn’t too far from you, before answering. “I don’t really celebrate my birthday in the way others would, but I splurged and bought lots of coffee jelly. My mother baked cake too.”

You give him a small smile. “So, is that a yes?”

Saiki nods.

Saiki didn’t really have much of a plan or intention to kick you out of his house. You didn’t talk his ear off as often as his other friends, so he figures you two can sit in his room alone in silence. He doesn’t hear you mentally complain, anyway. Most of your thoughts at that moment were in regards to the way his room looked.

Most of your thoughts.

I should ask about the show that’s going to air later this noon. Oh. My god. I can’t believe I’m alone with the guy I like, it’s the perfect time to confess!

Saiki hears your thoughts, yet he does not do anything about the confession part. He and you both know you’ve thought of confessing your feelings multiple times but chickened out everytime.

Hm. Saiki wonders if this time, you get the courage and finally tell him. He knows what he’ll say.

Your eyes dart nervously to Saiki, then at the TV right next to his bed, where you’re seated.

“Have you... Do you know about the show that’s airing later? 4:30?”

Saiki nods.

“Would you want to watch it together?” You take a deep breath after asking. Fortunately, he nods.

“Would you like something to drink? Or eat?” Saiki asks. If you’re staying, he might as well be a good host.

“Ah, just water. Maybe, uhm, coffee jelly– if you’re going to get some of your own.”

Saiki nods and he exits his room, leaving you alone.

You eye the gift you handed to Saiki. You had only gotten him a cardigan, unsure of any specific tastes of his, although the design was quite... un-Saiki; it wasn’t plain, but it wasn’t too much design. It just didn’t look like something he’d wear often, though you figured he could probably try out new things.

You just hope he likes it. To be safe, you had bought him a gift card to the store you got his gift from.

Saiki opens the door with a tray in his hands. Two cups of coffee jelly and one glass of water.

You make yourself comfortable on the floor of his room, Saiki sitting across from you and setting the tray down.

You take a sip of water before muttering, “Thank you.” Saiki gives a small nod before silently eating his coffee jelly.

He doesn’t really like being talked to while he’s eating, you think. You’re left to just look at Saiki with that expression he’s always wearing when he’s eating anything sweet. It’s cute.

You’re opting to confess, Saiki feels it. As unromantic as the scene seemed to be– two friends sitting on the floor without talking– he figures if he should be confessed to, it’d have to be nothing grand.

Plus, he knows what he’ll reply, anyway. He’s prepared his response since the first time you backed out of confessing to him.

You grab a plastic spoon and open your cup of coffee jelly. Before you take a bite of the sweet treat, you finally say the words.

“I like you.”

I know. I’m still chewing, hang on.

You quickly eat a spoonful of coffee jelly before Saiki could even respond. Say something, please?

You anxiously eat your coffee jelly, waiting for Saiki to finish eating his.

...

Finally, finally, Saiki replies.

“I don’t really know yet, but I might like you too.”

You feel as though a wave of relief washes over you. At least it’s not a rejection. Oh my god. “Really?”

Saiki nods. He doesn’t say anything else, and in shock, neither do you.

“Don’t ask me how I know this–”

Mentally, you interject, I probably won’t, but continue.

“–but I know you’ve liked me for a while now.”

You sigh in frustration. “I thought I was hiding it well...”

I can’t help that I have telepathy. Saiki discards that thought, instead saying, “No, you were pretty obvious.”

You laugh quietly. “God, I’m sorry! Glad that you might like me back. At least that being obvious wasn’t in vain.” You smile at Saiki. “Belated happy birthday, again. Next year, I’ll be sure to greet you on time.”

Saiki lets out an amused hum. “We’ll see.”

[rivatar]

Neteyam who?

(Pt. 2 to Good Luck Finding Better)

Based off this request!

Pairing: Dilf Jake Sully x fem omatikaya reader

Warnings: HEAVY SMUTTT, darkish Jake?(rougher than the previous part), p in v, oral, spitting in face, dom Jake, creampie, a lil face smacking, lots of dirty talk, think that’s it but lmk if I missed anything

W/c: 2.8k

A/n: hey y’all, sorry this took longer than I wanted it to but schools been kicking my ass. I hope you all and the anon who requested this enjoys!! Dilf Jake is my guilty pleasure 😈😈

As the sun rose the next day, you slowly blinked your eyes open. You immediately felt soreness in your muscles, especially in a particular region between your legs. Then the realization dawned on you and you remember what happened last night. You wondered if it was a dream or if it really happened. You gasped as you noticed the cum seeping out of your hole onto the bed and decided that was enough evidence to confirm you weren’t dreaming.

You stayed alone in your hut for 2 hours, refusing to go into the village and overthinking last nights’ events. What were you gonna say to Jake now? Or Neteyam? Nothing would ever be the same! You fucked your Olo’eyktan, a whole married man! And he was your best friends dad, to make matters worse. You felt shame and wished you knew what to do.

By now you were hungry and it was well past breakfast time. You had to leave sometime, you couldn’t just stay in here forever. So you begrudgingly got yourself ready and tried to clean the mess between your legs. You were fearful everyone would be able to smell exactly who left their seed in you. So you tried to cover it up by dabbing your strongest smelling oil that you had on your inner thigh. It would have to work.

Just as you were about to walk out of the door and face your fears, a familiar face appears. And speak of the devil, it’s Jake.

He was smiling mischievously down at you, and you just looked up at him angrily and crossed your arms.

“Get out of here.” You demand sharply.

“Excuse me?” He scrunches his eyebrows in confusion and tilts his head to the side, scanning you over with his intense gaze. Part of you wants to cower but you kept going.

“Last night was a mistake,” you explained, “I was in a vulnerable state and you knew it.” You said as you poked his chest hard with your pointer finger. “And now I’ve probably lost my best friend because of you.”

“Woah, woah, woah,” Jake holds his hands up to stop you. “If I remember correctly, that skxawng rejected you and I came to make you feel better. To which you had seemed to thoroughly enjoy,” he cockily smirked and you blushed, looking away with a pout. “Why are you mad at me and not my son?”

“Because he means more to me than you do! You’ve ruined everything!” You yell at him without thinking.

He suddenly grabs your neck with one hand and brings you closer to his face. Your breath caught in your throat and you struggled to balance on your tippy toes.

“Watch your tone, girl. Don’t forget I’m still your leader” he lowly speaks, his hot breath was fanning over your face and causing your thighs to clench together.

“Fuck you.” you manage to spit out.

He lowly chuckles and seems to be amused. “You already did that, honey.”

You bare your teeth at him, it made you so angry he was taking this so lightly and nearly mocking you like this was some kind of joke.

“Let me the fuck go!” You choke out harshly, still barely touching the ground with your tip toes to hold you up, both your hands gripping his arm to help hold you up so you wouldn’t actually choke.

His smile grows bigger. He seemed to like having so much power over you.

“I don’t know, sweetheart,” he faked like he was actually thinking, “I think you look so pretty like this.” You fought and wiggled as much as you could, but it was to no avail. “You’re a feisty one, ain’t ya? I never knew that about you.” He muses.

Then something came over you as you decided you’d heard enough of him, and with no thought you spit in his face.

You surprised yourself more than you surprised him it seemed like. Your jaw drops at what you just did and he just blinks once. Most of it landed on his mouth and to your absolute horror he licks it up and groans in appreciation.

“Mmm you taste so good, baby.” He tenderly smiles and you look at him in disbelief. The bass in his voice and his vulgar display lights something inside of you.

He gathers the rest of your spit off his face on two fingers and puts it to your mouth, beckoning you to open and pushing his fingers inside.

“Suck.” He demands, still holding your neck with his other hand but he sets you lower so you’re back on your heels now at least.

You didn’t know why you listened to him, but you did. Maybe it was his authority, or maybe because you felt yourself heating up and loosing your resolve.

Once you sucked your own spit off his fingers he pulled them out. He was making intense eye contact with you to the point you couldn’t force yourself to look away, almost like you were hypnotized.

“Good, now swallow.” You did as you were told with no hesitation. It was like your body answered to him before your mind could tell you not to.

You stuck out your tongue to show your empty mouth. “Good fucking girl,” he said while lightly smacking your cheek a few times.

“You still wanna go talk to Neteyam?” He asks, feigning innocence and mocking you.

You shook your head no, the desperation in your eyes from him getting you riled up was obvious to him but he liked teasing you.

“Good. Get on your knees” he demands roughly.

You were a little surprised at his straightforwardness but you obeyed and sank down to your knees before him.

He gracefully unties his loincloth and his full erect cock springs up right in front of your face. You didn’t get to see it this close up last night but now you’re noticing how pretty it is. Long and girthy, sprinkled with tiny bioluminescent freckles all the way up to the dark purplish tip.

“Open up for me, pretty” he rasps while rubbing his thumb across your bottom lip.

Once again you do as your told, your body fully submitting to him. You stick your tongue out and he places his dick on it, tapping it a few times. You lick and swirl your tongue around his tip as he lets out a pleased sigh while his body relaxes. You close your lips around him and he places his hands on your head to tug you closer and take more of him.

“Think I need to fuck this pretty mouth, how’s that sound?” You moan in response and he pushes your head hard, making you take almost his entire length and you gag.

He chuckles while you choke on him. “Yeah, this bratty mouth just needed to be stuffed with some cock, that’s all” He groans and tosses his head back while feeling your tight throat sucking him in.

You were already a mess, spit running down your face and neck, and tears welled up in your eyes. He picked up his pace and now held your head in place as he thrusted himself into your mouth. You couldn’t do anything but just take it. You focused on breathing through your nose and relaxing your throat, trying not to gag.

“Oh fuck-“ he whimpered and bit his lip trying to suppress his moans. “Shit that’s good. You’re doing so fucking good for me,” he praised as he felt himself coming near.

Your nails were digging into his smooth thighs and your throat was stinging at this point but you honestly couldn’t get enough of him. Your lower belly was warm and had butterflies.

“Gonna cum in your throat and you’re gonna swallow it all, okay?” He panted.

You felt his body stiffen and his cock twitch before you felt the warm ropes of cum spilling in your mouth. It felt warm and smooth like honey and you greedily took it all.

He pulled out of your mouth once he finished and smiled proudly at you.

“Good girl, that’s what a good slut does. You learn so quick,” he said while grabbing your face and placing a sloppy smooch on your lips.

He graciously grabbed a small towel to wipe your tear stained face and the sticky drool off your body. You smiled deliriously up at him.

“Don’t worry baby girl, I haven’t forgotten about you,” he grins. “Bet that lil pussy feels so neglected right now, huh?”

You nod your head and could hardly wait any longer.

“Nuh uh, need to hear you say it. What do you need?” He asks while petting your hair as you were still on your knees.

“Need you! Need you and your cock, please” you outright begged like he wanted.

“Please what?”

“Please.. sir?”

“Mhmm. Atta girl,” Jake praised.

He crouched down to your level and started crawling to tower over you. Your eyes were glued on his lips and he seemed to understand since he connected your lips in a heated kiss. He felt warm and tasted sweet and earthy.

He guided you to lay all the way down and you felt his rough hands start exploring, first just on your arms but then he couldn’t help himself from touching your tits.

Slipping under your top he kneaded one of your breasts, still holding himself over you with his other hand. He slightly moaned into your kiss at the contact and then pinched your nipple, making you break the kiss.

“Mmm” you hummed and threw your head back in pleasure.

“Yeah? Is that it?”

You bit your lip trying not to sound too desperate but still shook your head yes, begging him with your eyes. He took that as more than enough permission to keep doing it how you liked. He shifted to balance on his knees and his other hand wasted no time by going to knead your other breast that was left out.

“So, so perfect,” he whispered admirably.

Then with no warning he ripped your top off, beads flying everywhere. Normally you would’ve been upset about the damage of your precious clothing but right now you couldn’t care less.

“This needs to go too,” he said while yanking off your loincloth. It kinda hurt, but again, you weren’t in your right mind at the moment. And he was clearly getting impatient.

“Fuck” he breathed while eyeing your form. “Pretty. So fucking pretty” he rubbed your leg gently, quite contradictory to his former display of roughness.

Deciding to take the lead now, you opened your legs up for him. You were propped up on your elbows so this position was picture-perfect, and Jake did indeed wish he had a camera for your pornographic pose.

He was practically salivating over you but he wasn’t gonna let you get the upper hand. Snapping out of it, he looks at you devilishly like he was gonna devour you whole. You notice his cock is already fully hard again. Fuck, he’s good you admitted in your head.

Your pussy was a mess, your juices coating your lips and running down your ass.

“Jake, please” you begged.

He stopped ogling you and practically pounced onto you. He stole your lips in a hungry kiss and God, you loved the way he tasted too. You fought for dominance with your clashing of tongues but of course he wins with his larger mouth. He was shoving his tongue far into your mouth trying to get everything he could take from you. And you let him.

You whimpered as your heart rates increased and the thrill was like no other. Yeah, you loved Neteyam as your best friend but Eywa, his dad made you feel like you were flying.

All that could be heard was heavy breathing because neither of you wanted to stop. Then you felt his five-fingered hand slide down to rub your inner thigh and you thought you could almost cum right then. It was dizzying and made your body feel fuzzy.

He finally stopped teasing around the area and touched you where you wanted him the most. You both gasped at the contact.

“Damn,” he breathed while coating his fingers in your slick, “Needy little thing”

He pushed his middle finger in your sopping cunt and it slid in easily. You moaned and looked at him.

He started finger fucking you and gained a rhythm, then slid in another digit to add to the stretch.

You closed your eyes shut and were making so many little sounds that he loved. He also loved the sight of you squirming in pleasure.

“Watch it” he gruffed

You obeyed his request and turned your eyes to the sinful scene. He had you spread wide open and was pistoning his two big fingers into you like there was no tomorrow, hitting all your sweet spots so perfectly. It was so good you were struggling to get any sounds out as your mouth stayed open in a silent scream.

You felt your impending orgasm coming quickly. He seemed to have picked up on this as he started rubbing your clit in circles, making your climax rip through you.

“JAKEEE” you screamed and arched your back as it wracked through your entire body, toes curling and grabbing his dreads for support.

“Fuck yes. Fuckkkk yes!” he praised as he kept pumping you with one hand and lightly spanking your clit with the other, prolonging your orgasm.

You slowly came down from it, panting and a bit dizzy. Your eyes looked heavy.

“Don’t fall asleep on me, I ain’t done with you yet, babe” he said while manhandling you to flip you over on all fours. You could barely hold yourself up on your arms as you felt tired so you slumped down on your face, ass up in the air.

“Now ain’t this a pretty sight,” Jake chuckled from behind you. You felt his tip prodding at your entrance that was still soaked from your arousal and orgasm.

With no warning he slammed himself inside.

“OH!!” You shot up, the intrusion catching you off guard.

“Had to get you awake somehow,” he laughed. “Now take this cock until I cum in your little pussy”

Before you could say anything he slid all the way out and slammed back in. Your eyes were almost popping out of your head at the fullness. He had to be in your stomach, you thought to yourself.

He grabbed onto your ass cheeks for leverage to pull you back onto him, setting a brutal pace. The skin slapping could probably be heard from the village.

“You feel so good.. such a good slut for me”

You clenched around him at his degrading comment.

“Oh yeah? You like being a lil whore? That’s all you are, hm?” he growled clenching his teeth, already lost in the feeling of your pussy wrapped around him.

You moaned and whimpered below him, taking every inch of his dick.

“Bet you’d probably like Neteyam to see you getting fucked again” he taunted and you once again squeezed him tight as confirmation to his statement, “Yeah, I know,” he laughed, “it’s funny, ‘cause you try to act all innocent for everyone else. If only they could see you now”

You were hearing every word but truly didn’t care. Not right now, not when his dick was blissfully pounding your cervix and you feel another orgasm rolling in.

“Pleaseee” you whined.

“Please, what? One cock not enough for you?” he teased and smacked your ass.

“It is! Just please don’t stop!”

He sped up and thrusted harder into you.

“You gonna cum? Yeah you better cum for me,” he panted, feeling himself approaching his own high.

And just like that the coil in your lower tummy snapped. You cried out in ecstasy and he ate every bit of it up, boosting his ego.

“That’s it, baby” he cooed.

Then he felt his rip through him. “Gonna fill you up- fuck!” He whimpered “you won’t ever be able to get my smell off of you,” he promised while riding his out, his groans and little whimpers between words.

“This pussy is mine,” He made sure to milk out every last drop of his seed inside your pussy. He wanted to own you and mark you as his, so no other men could have you. He slipped his dick out carefully, making sure to not overstimulate you.

You were both fucked out beyond belief so you laid limp and he grabbed another towel to clean you up first, and then himself.

You smiled weakly at him and he smiled smugly in return. “So you gonna take back what you said earlier about wanting me to leave or do you like my company now?” he teased.

You rolled your eyes and scooted back against him where you were laying down. “Shut up” you yawned.

Taglist: @neteyamssyulang @professional-yapper @bambithewriter @nonamevenus @jakesullyfatjuicypeen

[raisin-shell]

Bayverse TMNT head cannons that no one asked for. 👹

Listen, and I myself have been guilty of it, we all have over romanticized the boys and we do it all to often because we come here for, what we each believe that is, a perfect world. But let’s just back up a moment and think about it logically… if logic applies when it comes to walking, talking turtles. How would it really be if you met and happen to fall in love with one of the turtles? In reality? Let’s dig into it.

Master splinter may show you kindness and may even favor you, but he will never agree with one of his sons having a relationship. It’s against everything he has taught them and that will never change. It also puts his entire family at risk whether you like it or not.

You will never be able to introduce him to your family or friends. Again they work in the shadows for a reason. You can not simply parade your boyfriend around nor show him off.

You can not tell a soul about him or that you’re even dating him. In fact you can’t tell anyone you’re dating at all unless you want to lie about it and compromise his position.

He can’t take you on dates. Well… not normal or formal ones. Although he can get creative in his own way. But date night is few and far between because he has the city to protect.

His duty as a ninja and a protector of the city will always come before you.

His love for his brothers and father also come before you.

His brothers, much like splinter, don’t approve of your relationship for the same reasons. It compromises their most powerful weapon… secrecy.

He’s a ninja. Sneaking into your home is a cake walk, but your ceiling better be tall. Be prepared for him to bump into things unintentionally of course.

Pray to god he never has to take a shit at your house. Be prepared to do some plunging.

Buying him clothes in the right size…. Forget about it.

Your first kiss is going to be awkward. One he’s never kissed before and two your mouths are quite the size difference. It’s going to take practice.

The first time you have sex is going to be just as awkward. He’s going to be worried about his performance but mostly his size. And he’d be right to worry. He’s twice the size of any porn star you’ve seen.

It’s going to take time to adjust to his size… not just his dick ya nasty! I mean his size in general. He’s much stronger than the human man and sometimes he doesn’t know his own strength.

You can not and will not go on patrol with him. He can not and will not give you details about those patrols either.

Master splinter will limit your time in the lair. Combine that with work during the day and him on patrol all night. You will rarely get to see him unless he breaks code.

April comes before you. Casey too. You’ll have to leave the jealousy at the door.

He can not give you store bought gifts. Everything he gifts you will be hand made.

He more than likely will keep you a secret from his family for quite some time… if or when you get caught that is.

Could you handle that type of relationship? Honestly I think I could be a good fuck buddy for Raph but Leo I’d catch feelings for and I just don’t know if I could do it. Let me know in the comments what your thoughts are. 😍

[1960z]

how people go about interpreting dr bashir I presume? really frustrates me sometimes ngl especially the “jules bashir died” scene.

like that whole scene is about julian revealing the depth of how deeply his augmentations fractured his sense of identity and who he is - which feeds into the themes of the whole episode surrounding how disability and then by extension disabled people are often viewed as a problem to be solved and because of that are often denied the ability to have fulfilling lives because the able bodied people around them don’t believe that they can.

but… idk, when the fandom talks about it there’s always seems to be a push to read a trans allegory into it that I don’t think is really there? I keep mulling over this post in my mind and when I initially reblogged it I didn’t really want to talk about this because the post is about how stories about racism can be hijacked by white people to be made about their own transness and it felt like as a white person, using that post to complain about ableism would be missing the point. but it really helped me articulate in my mind why the trans reading of this episode feels off to me because the same general principle seems to apply and that is taking a story trying to discuss a specific type of marginalisation and putting a trans reading above it because you can relate more to it personally.

“jules bashir died in that hospital because you couldn't live with the shame of having a son who didn't measure up!” this scene is the culmination of julian expressing his pain about what was done to him as a disabled child by his parents due to how they viewed his disability. but often when I see it being discussed, people aren’t really interested in talking about that. instead supplanting it with a trans reading instead which, in my opinion is an allegory that doesn’t even really work when you think about what’s going on in the broader context of the scene.

julian didn’t stop going by jules because he came to the conclusion on his own that the identity didn’t suit him similar to the way a trans person questions or rejects the gender they were assigned at birth, he stopped going by jules because he felt like the identity attached to that name was taken from him because of what his parents did. it’s not julian affirming who he wants to be it’s grieving over who he can’t be and to me at least, it’s honestly kind of harrowing.

and as an aside: when people read transness into a story about parents who change their child’s body and mind at a very young age without consent, which is literally a narrative projected onto trans people by transphobes to justify the curtailing of trans rights, that also doesn’t sit well with me. I think people latch onto this reading because of the idea of “killing a name” but again in the context of the whole episode the trans reading really doesn’t feel appropriate.

I think it’s okay for people to have trans headcanons about julian of course or literally any character they want to really, but I think saying that specific episode codes him as trans isn’t all that great honestly.