#sometimes i think the only reason i repeatedly give my miserable characters happy endings

[not-poignant]

I stopped halfway through putting away fruit + veg to find out that Baldur's Gate 3 had stopped downloading for about the 11th time, so I've requested a refund from Steam (please don't suggest things for me to try, I've tried them). But anyway, I am having consecutive terrible days in a row atm and hugs would be appreciated if anyone wants to leave some in the replies.

[supremecourt23]

Don’t Glorify My Mental Illness

In my personal opinion, one of the best Netflix original shows is the dark comedy BoJack Horseman. I could list several reasons why I believe this show to be superior to others: It’s diverse characters and how they’ve developed over six seasons, the creativity of the anthropomorphic world the show’s creators have built, or the way the show uses its humor to its advantage to craft an even more compelling story. Those are all really good things. The thing that had me hooked by the end of season 1 though was how it portrayed mental health.

Mental health is a huge subject matter in BoJack, even when not directly referenced. The way severe depression, anxiety, and how the characters cope with these realities really struck me. The show tackles addiction, abuse, unhealthy relationships, and tries its best to address topical issues all while keeping the characters as real as they can for a show featuring talking animals. I don’t want to spoil the show for those who haven’t seen it so I will keep things vague. I’m not recommending this show. It’s a hard watch, but the show does something that very few people in Hollywood and social media, are doing. This being that it doesn’t glorify mental illness.

The “tortured artist” character is a popular trend in film, tv, and literature and even stems into real life. Bipolar Disorder is often associated with highs that often bring about great creativity and it’s even theorized there are higher levels of intelligence. Beethoven was one historical figure believed to have this diagnosis and some associate his work with his disorder. Van Gogh, a man believed to be deeply depressed, is said to have channeled these feelings into his artwork. We can look at more modern names such as Kurt Cobain and Robin Williams. I do not want to diminish who these people were or what they went through. I want to propose a challenge, and BoJack Horseman is the perfect catalyst to do so.

For those unfamiliar with the show, the premise is that back in the nineties BoJack was in a very famous tv show. The sitcom ran for several seasons, but following its end, he’s been mostly unsuccessful. BoJack is depressed, an alcoholic, and not a great horse. He uses his friends and those around him to achieve his goals. The framing device for the first season is that an author is assigned to BoJack to write a memoir about him. It’s through this process that we begin to peel back the layers of BoJack Horseman and find out who he truly is, despite his hardened exterior.

BoJack is an individual that is hurting badly. As the show progresses we learn about where his sadness stems from, his alcoholism began, and his negative patterns formed. He takes these pains and it affects his life sometimes positively and other times, very negatively. He’s tortured by what is in his head. Some of it, he admits is his fault, circumstances he has control over. As he claims responsibility for the hurt he’s caused, he also has to come to terms with what has happened in his past, both the rational and irrational. The BoJack we see at the beginning of season 1 and the BoJack we see at the end of season 5 part 1 are very different. The writers never showed him as an actor channeling his depression, addiction, and alcoholism into his roles for greatness. In fact, they showed the opposite. The unfortunate reality that plague many.

As someone with mental health issues, I was drawn to BoJack. Not because I wanted to be like him or even because I related to him. I was drawn to him because I wanted to see him get better, just like I wanted to get better. If BoJack had been making his depression into something great and he was continuously reaping positive benefits out of it, he wouldn’t be the same character. Why would the audience want to watch him change? I look at my past and I see where I’ve hurt myself, I’ve hurt friends, family, and others around me, and I would use the excuse that I wasn’t well so it was okay. That’s not okay. BoJack realized the same thing, prompting his character to develop further. The tortured artist trope is a reality for some, but it should not be the goal.

I used to be fairly open with my mental health in an attempt to help decrease stigma. I would talk about my struggles, my victories, and what had been happening in my life. Now I keep a lot of that to myself and my close circles. I don’t do this because I’m afraid the stigma will be turned towards me or because I fear what else could come. Instead, I just asked myself what I was really accomplishing. People would comment really encouraging things. No one ever said anything negative to me. But, I would read things that would go on to trouble me. People that would tell me that my mental illness was a beautiful thing because it made me, me.

I’m sure this sounds like a really nice sentiment. I don’t want to crap on social media sites like Tumblr, Twitter, or Reddit where entire sections are dedicated to the “Sad Girls Club” or a t-shirt that says

“Stressed, Depressed, but Well Dressed” on it, but is this really how we want to combat mental illness stigma? Let me tell you right now, and I think a lot of people in or near my shoes will agree with me, I don’t like having a mental health problem. Whether a person is depressed, bipolar, anxious, schizophrenic, or whatever their case may be, telling them it’s beautiful, that it makes them who they are, or they should just accept themselves for who they are, is not a good thing. Telling a mentally ill persons their illness beautiful doesn’t remove stigma, it reinforces it. It reinforces it to the individual and the people around them. If what I do or what I am is beautiful, why would I change it?

BoJack repeatedly sees that something is wrong in his life. He takes responsibility for the things in his control and learns to cope with what he can’t. The “Sad Girls Club” movement on Tumblr just groups people who are depressed together and then celebrates it. Shows like “13 Reasons Why”that claim to educate about tough subjects, glamorize things like suicide and cutting with long drawn out sequences that make most viewers uncomfortable and not in a good way. There is a difference between raising awareness and creating “relatability.”

BoJack Horseman doesn’t just raise awareness, it goes a step further and says you can change. I believe this is fully true for every person who is struggling with their mental health, addiction, an eating disorder, whatever it is. The first step is to acknowledge that problem. Identify what you can control and what you can’t and then how you can cope with those things. Just because there isn’t a cure to what I’m facing or what you’re facing doesn’t mean there isn’t hope. There is always hope.

To the person reading this who doesn’t have a mental illness, I want to say three things. The first thing I’ve already said, but I want to say it again: There is a difference between raising awareness and relatability. I understand you are trying to encourage me with your story about how “sometimes I get anxious too” and you’re intentions are good, but the best way we are going to beat stigma isn’t through relatability, it’s through listening and acknowledging and offering to be an ally in their recovery process. Secondly, don’t reinforce negative stereotypes or behaviors. I’m not offering you the chance to control people, but in a world that pushes for a certain body weight, uses bipolar as a word to demean someone, and tries to push that it’s beautiful to be this way, speak up. Just do it in a polite, edifying way. And finally, thank you for being an ally. The support of those around me has meant the world. I’ve hurt a lot of them and they’ve stood by me over the years. I’ve hurt a lot of people in my past, but a lot of them have forgiven me and rallied around me in my road to fighting the pain that is inside of me.

I don’t know how BoJack Horseman ends. The final few episodes come out at the end of January and while I’d like to believe it ends with a horse and his friends who finally find the happiness they so badly crave. That may not be how it ends. In a world that glamorizes the tortured genius, be the person that advocates for change, for healing, and for growth. I’ll leave you with one of the many amazing quotes from the show:

“I don’t know what to tell you. I’m happy for the first time in my life and I’m not gonna feel bad about it. It takes a long time to realize how truly miserable you are and even longer to see it doesn’t have to be that way. Only after you give up everything can you begin to find a way to be happy.”

-Fuzzy Whiskers

[mittensmorgul]

Hello. Is there a chance that you know when the decision about Chuck beeing the villain of the entire show was made? And more specifically was season 9 written with this point of view?

Hi there! I’m sorry this has been sitting in my inbox for a few days, but I’ve been turning it over and over in my head trying to figure out how to actually answer. Because I don’t think this is something that was like the writers just suddenly decided, and began plotting everything else in the story around that fact, you know? And while it might be interesting to puzzle over, it doesn’t affect how I personally engage with the show.

I’ve written many times about the difference between a Watsonian Reading of a text versus a Doylist Reading of a text, and why sometimes understanding the Doylist might inform the watsonian read you’re willing to accept, so I can understand the interest in wondering if there was a moment in the writing room where it was declared that Chuck Was Not A Good Guy, and that the entire story should be told with that underlying assumption. For me, personally, it’s been clear since 4.18 that Chuck was not really a good guy, long before it was revealed that he was really God.

Was this always the intent of the writers? We just don’t know. I don’t think it matters. He always came across to me (ESPECIALLY in 5.22) as a self-important dick... but I know a lot of people really love his monologue on everything, and have always had rather warm feelings about it. So was their intent to make him seem smugly self-satisfied from the start, or is that an angle that later showrunners and writers seized upon and played up? Does it even matter when the story has made it clear now that Chuck has been the villain of the entire show from the start?

I understand how my personal opinion from the start here has probably made it easier for me to roll with the more recent canon revelations about Chuck than it would be for folks who have always believed that Chuck was a Good Guy from the start, that God would ultimately be on their side, or that if God wasn’t actively helping them, it was only because he was testing them or having them prove themselves to themselves or whatever. I understand people have clung to the notion that he was essentially still a good guy, even through all the shadiness. I just... could never see him that way.

ESPECIALLY after s11. I don’t think Chuck’s characterization has really changed since then. It’s just been... unmasked for what it really is. I think everything Chuck The Prophet was saying back in 4.18 about being a cruel and capricious god was... pretty on the nose. Then again, I’m fairly sure that Andrew Dabb took over the showrunning duties in mid-s11, and began setting up what he knew would eventually become the series endgame run, with Chuck as the final big bad. So that run up to the end of s11... was Dabb’s doing...

I don’t really know how much Chuck’s character (his fictional being, in addition to just... his personality, like how we’d talk about the character of real people, the quality of his essential being or whatever) played a part in the writing from 5.22 when he “vanished” through 10.05 when he appeared to tell Marie “not bad” at the end of her musical, and then again from that point until he dragged Metatron to the bar at the end of the universe in 11.20. I’m fairly certain that as soon as they began writing s11 and determined that Amara would be “God’s sister” that they knew that Chuck would have to make an appearance eventually. And the entire storyline of the MoC having been derailed and repurposed in mid s10 likely facilitated the escalation of the story. But again... I’ve written heckloads of stuff about s10, the accordion plot, how Carver had been writing toward a series finale in 10 until they got word they’d be renewed and wanted to keep going, and jerked the whole story onto a completely different narrative track in the back half of s10. As a seasonal arc, s10 will forever be my least favorite, because it’s just... a mess. Yes, even s6 comes across more coherent than s10, just looking at the overarching narrative structure. Episode wise, s10 probably wins for a few stellar entries, but yeeeeeesh, it’s a structural disaster overall.

But I have a tag for that, and lots and lots of posts, and Carver himself saying that this was exactly what happened there, so... I think it’s probably valid to say that the writers really hadn’t even thought much about Chuck until the MoC became about the Darkness in 10.23, and then they had to invent a whole mythology to bring in this super-powerful God-level power to the story, and “God’s sister!” sounded like a solid plan...

So I’d say that Chuck was being set up at that point to have to answer for his “original crime” of locking up the Darkness, you know? Though I don’t know how much of how it played out by the end of s11 was Carver’s doing, or Dabb’s. I am fairly certain that from the moment Dabb took over (quietly mid-s11, and possibly knowing he’d be tapped to take over before then and beginning to lay down tracks toward his eventual story plan, and then completely by 11.23) that what we’re seeing play out in s15 was always his intent.

But in s9? I don’t think Chuck was really even on any of the writers’ radar, at all. Even if they all were working from the perspective that he was God in the Supernatural universe. I just don’t think it affected what they were writing, you know?

Well, I mean, there’s earlier episodes where God was referenced... I mean 5.16 Dark Side of the Moon (hey, written by Dabb!) where we learned that God knew all about their problems, but he didn’t think it was HIS problem... I mean from that moment on, it’s really difficult to think of God as a charcacter who’s on their side, you know? And the end of the story he’d been content with was Sam in Hell for eternity, and Dean miserable in suburbia for eternity, and Cas probably being subjugated by Heaven and the Apocalypse starting again anyway... I mean... ew...

Or in 6.20, when Cas prayed to God, begging for a sign, begging for help, to do the right thing, he got NOTHING in return, zip, zilch. He did the only thing he could, and in retrospect, wasn’t releasing the leviathans something Chuck was probably deliriously happy about? More monsters and mayhem! A beloved hero character becoming the villain in the process! I mean, in s9 when Metatron was “Playing God” and trying to write his own story of the universe, isn’t this exactly the story he wanted to create too? Kinda on the nose there, even if they weren’t actively portraying Chuck himself as the bad guy here. They were explicitly telling us that Metatron was literally rewriting God’s playbook as self-insert fanfic.

So even if they weren’t actively writing Chuck as the big bad, they used Metatron-- the scribe of God-- to fulfill that function. In 11.20, when Chuck talks with Metatron about his turn playing God:

CHUCK: You know, you really are a terrific editor, Metatron.METATRON: (Chuckles.) Well, I was a terrible writer. A worse god. It's good I've got something going for me.CHUCK: (Takes off his glasses and stops typing.) Yeah, you know, I have to say, I didn't see the whole evil-turn thing coming.METATRON: Mm-hmm.

CHUCK: (Chuckling.) Why did you try to be me?METATRON: That was just a sad, pathetic cry for attention.CHUCK: (Chuckling.) Who's attention were you trying to get?METATRON: Yours.

He takes all of this and tries to turn it around, to deflect blame from himself as if he hadn’t literally done everything Metatron did, and more.

METATRON: It wasn't just the saps who were praying to you. The angels prayed, too. And so did I – every day.CHUCK: I know.METATRON: You want to sell the best-selling autobiography of all time? You explain to me – Tell me why you abandoned me. Us.CHUCK: Because you disappointed me. You all disappointed me.METATRON: (Stands up and looks at CHUCK with wet eyes.) No, look. I know I'm a disappointment, but you're wrong about humanity. They are your greatest creation because they're better than you are.(CHUCK starts to look more guilty as he looks at METATRON.)METATRON: Yeah, sure, they're weak and they cheat and steal and... destroy and disappoint. But they also give and create and they sing and dance and love. And above all, they never give up! But, you do!

But even after Metatron’s sacrifice, even after everything nearly falls apart, Chuck STILL tries to weasel out of responsibility for anything, still tries to deflect and minimize, even blames Amara for why he had to lock her away in the first place. And that hasn’t changed about him one whit, from the start right through the present. It’s always been an essential part of his character, and he’s been called out on it repeatedly in s15 by Becky, by Amara, by Sam, by Dean... probably by Michael, too. Like... this is how he’s always been, it’s how he’s always been written, even if the intent had never been to explicitly unmask him as the ultimate big bad of the entire series until the end of s11.

Like Amara accused him in 11.22:

Chuck: I'm sorry. For this, for everything.Amara: An apology at last. What's sorry to me? I spent millions of years crammed in that cage... alone... and afraid, wishing -- begging for death, because of you! And what was my crime, brother?!Chuck: The world needed to be born! And you wouldn't let me! Amara, you give me no choice.Amara: That's your story. Not mine. The real reason you banished me, why I couldn't be allowed to exist... you couldn't stand it. No, we were equals. We weren't great or powerful, because we stood only in relation to each other. You think you made the archangels to bring light? No. You made them to create lesser beings, to make you large, to make you Lord. It was ego! You wanted to be big!

and he admitted to Becky in 15.04:

CHUCK: Things were said. Uh… Now I’ve found msyself low on, um… resources. I went to ask my sister for help, and she rejected me. ‘Cause she sucks. And now I’m just… stuck. So, I thought I’d come see you, my number-one fan. And, I don’t know, see if you can help make me feel big again.BECKY: So, you want me to… fluff you?CHUCK: I mean, no.BECKY: You do. You thought you could just come back to me, your pathetic ex, your number-one fan, and get what you’ve always gotten from me… a nice big crank on your ego.

Meanwhile, in 11.22, Amara had asked him if he wouldn’t change, why should she? Yet... she DID change, beginning in 11.23 when she reconciled with Chuck. Only... he never did change at all.

So... to finally circle back to your question again... I don’t know if it’s relevant what the writers were thinking about Chuck and any random potential for him to return to the story in any capacity, let alone as God, let alone as the eventual Ultimate Series Big Bad back when they were writing s9. I don’t even think God/Chuck was on their radar at all, because I don’t think the entire MoC storyline was crafted with the end result that it would be the key to the Darkness’s prison. At least not way back in s9 when the MoC was dreamed up. It only ever evolved into that because of the narrative disaster of the s10 plot accordion. Which is why, while I fucking HATE s10 for it, I can’t be all that mad about what it unwittingly brought about, either.

Heck I hope any of this makes any sense whatsoever. This is one of those subjects that’s just like “insert key, wind mittens up, watch her go” :’D

[paladin-pile]

Shiro’s role in VLD and what that means for us.

I see a massive variety of opinions on Shiro these days, most of them negative, and I’m getting tired of it. I’m not posting this to be salty or argumentative. I’m here to explain why we should be grateful for this brilliant rep, this character with the most beautiful and inspiring story that should got down in history. Shiro is not the show’s “punching bag” or anything else, and in this meta I’d like to begin explaining my position on why Shiro’s story is exactly what the world, (that includes us) needs. No matter what your position, please take just a few minutes and read.

In my perspective, being a punching bag means that a character is being repeatedly hurt, beaten down, and being ground into lower and more painful places in life, for no reason, or for reasons that are for action purposes only, not contributing to a meaningful arc for the character. It might even be detrimental to their arc. The characters in the MCU are a perfect example if this. I like Marvel movies, and I love the characters, but as I watched through the movies I started to like them less and less because of how the characters were treated. It was hard to watch the people I cared about accumulate trauma on top of trauma that was never addressed. They were never allowed to rest, heal, reach a better place in their physical/mental/emotional states.

 Sometimes in little things, yes, but not much. I just watched people get beaten to a pulp physically and emotionally. I cared about them, I want them to be okay, I want them to have hope and opportunity of meaningful connections, peace, and recovery. If Tony Stark or Steve Rodgers die in Avengers 4, I see that as a horrible end to horrible arcs for both of them. Steve has been fighting his whole life, never got to have a home and family, or deal with some of his issues. Tony has barely gotten a glimpse of a happy life with Pepper and a baby, and has grown so close to Peter. Peter has lost his parents, his uncle, and now he might lose Tony too. 

Do you see what I mean here? If you’re familiar with the MCU you might see my point. This is because the movies exist to serve the comic book action, not the people. The action, the aliens, the robots, the fight scenes; that’s the whole purpose of these movies and they’re not going to take time to show us how Natasha is slowly recovering from her childhood trauma with help from Clint and his family. When we watch endless action-based stories like this, we tend to get depressed because we long for hope. Everyday in real life we see hopeless situations where the people we love get hurt and hurt again without any hint of things getting better, we don’t want to see that in our media.

But Voltron...Voltron is different.

The problem is that people come to Voltron looking for a utopia (“If war was perfect this is what is should look like. If everything happened perfectly for so-and-so this is what I think it should be and its not so it’s evil,”etc). That’s not going to work. Voltron does a great job of showing realistic experiences that we can relate too, and still give us hope and inspiration. The character development and story arcs for each character are nothing short of brilliant. Please also keep in mind, some characters are more central than the others and will receive more focus, but everyone gets at least some meaningful things. What makes Voltron do this while other shows/movies don’t, is that Voltron is not about Voltron, it’s about the characters. The first season or two you might think it’s about the robots and the big fights, but I recall it was around season 5 that the realization hit me. “Holy shit this isn’t about Voltron, it never was.” What made me realize? Well, Shiro and Keith’s related arcs specifically. The entire plot revolves around how they revolve around each other. Pay some close attention to each plot point and ask how it relates to Keith trying to save Shiro or vice versa. But that’s beside the point of this post. I came here to talk about Shiro.

Shiro is the main character of Voltron. No contest. Everything revolves around him, is influenced by him, or is tied back to him somehow. It’s incredible to watch. The show starts with him and I’ll damn well bet it’ll end with him. He’s the fated, Chosen One that the whole show is on the shoulders of. So why don’t most people realize this?

Shiro isn’t a loud person, he shoulders a lot of his work in the background. We don’t see things from his pov very often. It’s easy for our attention to drift to the more outgoing, loud and chaotic characters, but that does not determine how important they are to the story.

Doing rep right is not, “This person is LGBT/poc/mentally ill character, therefore nothing bad can every happen to them.” That would be of no help to anyone at all. People need to see rep that goes through things that they do or even worse, and is still ok, who can still be happy and adapt and be strong and find meaning in life, be in healthy, wonderful relationships. People who can climb higher and shine brighter because of what they’ve been through, not in spite of it.

Remember the beginning where I described what it means for a character to be a punching bag? Shiro is none of those things. This sweet, earnest, and lovely boy has been through so much suffering. You’ve all seen it, or inferred it from what we did see. But never have I ever seen someone with such a mighty heart, or such resilience. He kept fighting, never lost hope, never gave up on the people and causes he cared about. He never got any less kind and selfless. He stayed loyal to what was right and never sought his own glory. And he has been abundantly rewarded for it. The MCU characters I talked about have gotten worse of the course of their arcs. Shiro has gotten better.

His life isnt perfect. It’s not a utopia. He has sustained a lot of losses, his path has changed direction in confusing and sometimes painful ways. But he takes it in stride. No suffering Shiro has been put through has been for nothing, and in this is the basis for my argument. It has all changed and influsned his character arc in positive ways. Even if it took a while for that to become apparent. He has been leveling up this whole time. Even things that seemed the worst turned out to be a blessing to both him and the universe.

Is he sad about no longer being a paladin? We will never know. Even if he was he is not one to dwell on it. He now has a bond with another mecha just like he had with black, one that’s his and only his. (One that's 100 times bigger than his old ship and way cooler, Voltron whomst?) He has his own path and his own crew, he’s working side by side with the people he considers family. He is showing signs of healing, of being happy. He’s just as much a part of the team as he was before. It’s the fandom who excludes him from their art and fics of the othes, the fandom who is casting him aside, not the show.

For someone to say “Oh Shiro’s arc is terrible and he’s being treated badly because look at these things that happened to him. Things he loved got taken away and now he’s lost and sad and feels useless and is getting knocked down a few pegs in life.” Where are you seeing this? What happens in our own lives when things change or painful things happen. Do we roll over and die? Say “oh my life will be miserable from now on because this or that happened?” No, and neither would Shiro.

We see Shiro growing. He is leveling up. He knows how to live and adapt and find meaning. I don’t think Shiro regrets or mourns anything for very long. His coping skills are very good since he came back form the “dead.” He may have feelings of sadness and loss. Of his arm, of people close to him like Adam or others, of the people lost on Earth. But roles? Jobs? Circumstances that he knows could have happened to anyone and he can’t change? He knows better than that. Have more faith in Shiro people. I have been more inspired and encouraged and blessed by his character and story than I have in any other media ever. I love him and I am grateful.

I understand that a lot of good folks who love Shiro have been genuinely concerned and confused. If you are one of those, please message me. I would love to talk to you. I know some folks have made posts mentioning specific events in the show that have influenced their perception and I was not able to address all the specifics in this post, only generally. Anyone is more than welcome do drop by my ask box and start a conversation! 

[imgilmoregirl]

Wedding Bells

AO3 Link

Summary: After Rogers was involved in an unfortunate accident, Alice thought she wouldn't have anyone to walk her down the aisle, until something unexpected happened.

Notes: Disclaimer: I don’t own Once Upon A Time or any of the characters and storylines in the show. This is just a fanwork made for fun.

@panchibust prompted:  Zeus brings rumple and belle back to life for alice's wedding so rumple can give her away(rogers can't bc he broke a leg ) alice can't stand og. Hook so , she wants her second dad to do it...

I know somebody else came with this idea here in tumblr so I tried to find the post and link it here, but I couldn’t find it for some reason. If you know who did it, please tell me so I can give the person the credits.

The backroom of the United Realms’ castle was filled of stuff that hadn’t being used for decorating the great hall for the wedding. Regina had been really kind in offering the place to host their ceremony, but she was really found of her niece, Robin and was willing to do anything to see her happy, so Alice just went with the flow and started planning tings more excitedly than ever.

They had gone to a place called New York for their gowns, because Robin insisted in wearing something modern and that showed everyone that they lived two different realities at the same time, some days running through wild woods with a bow, an arrow and some magical powers and other days just chilling in their comfortable Hyperion Heights’ apartment, watching some movies or TV shows. The wedding couldn’t be any less unique.

Everything was turning out to be perfect until three days ago. Rogers had gone on a little mission with Henry – something about Aladdin getting kidnapped – and broke his leg. Now he was stuck in a wheelchair, taking a few painful steps with the help of a pair of crutches from time to time, but not really being able to use them for long.

So, there in the backroom he was, hearing a beautiful tailored suit and staring at his nervous daughter, who paced around unstoppably around, clearly nervous, straightening the skirts of her beautiful wedding gown repeatedly. She looked gorgeous, her blonde hair pulled up on an elegant loose bun, the off-the-shoulder fluff white sleeves of the dress, holding it perfectly in place and the tight corset accentuating the lines of her waist.

"I could push the chair," Alice suggested,

"What? No," Rogers shook his head. "I was supposed to lead you, not the other way around."

She sniffled, falling on the chair in from of him and pulling on a sad face that reminded Rogers of when she was just a little girl scared of nightmares. Her eyes were watery and her lower lip trembling. He hated to see her about to cry like this and he wished that he could magically heal his stupid leg to do his duty as a father and walk her down the damned aisle.

"But, papa, if you don't do this, then no one else will," she complained, blinking away her tears so she wouldn’t ruin her make-up.

“The other Hook offered, you know,” Rogers chuckle, trying to take a little smile from her, but failing miserably.

“He is not you! And he… Well, I’m not his biggest fan.”

Rogers reached for her hand, giving her a soft grin as he stroked her soft skin, a deep sigh leaving him at the realisation that after this day she would be a married woman and no longer his baby girl. And she in fact looked like a powerful woman dressed like that which made him incredibly proud.

“Come on, Starfish, one bad version of me is better than nothing.”

“I wanted you, or…”

“Or?”

Alice swallowed hard and looked away from his eyes. She didn’t like to talk about how much she missed another important man in her life when her papa was around, but truth be told, deep down, both of them felt a terrible lack of something in their lives now that he was gone.

“Weaver,” she confessed. “He is the only one I can think about doing this. You know, he took care of me for a long time, like another father.”

“Yeah, I know,” Rogers murmured.

“I don’t want to be alone.”

His lips tightened in a thin line. He didn’t want her to feel like that and he felt sad to know he wasn’t going to be able to make her feel safe all the way to the love of her life.

"You won't, there are a lot of people out there who love you," he remarked. "Robin is waiting for you."

"I know," she said with a tiny smile.

There was a sound coming from the hallway then, steps, he could say and he thought that maybe it was someone coming to check on them because of their delay, but when Rogers looked back, he had to blink twice because he couldn’t believe his own eyes. Coming from the open door, dressed in an equally elegant suit as his, with hair way shorter than the last time they saw each other, was Rumplestiltskin, with the woman of his pictures – his wife, Belle – arm by arm with him, stunning and young in a beautiful dark-blue dress.

Behind Rogers, his daughter gasped.

"Alice?"

"Mr. Weaver…. I mean, Rumplestiltskin?" She inquired in awe. "Am I dreaming?"

"No," he answered, with a smile, walking towards her and bringing his young wife along. "Zeus brought me and Belle back, because we still have a few unfinished businesses in this land and you, Alice, are one my biggest."

"Me? Why?"

Unhooking Belle’s arm from his, Rumple took one final step into Alice’s direction and picked both of her hands in his own, causing more tears to blurry her vision at the confirmation that he was really there and wasn’t just a ghost or a product of her mind.

"You need someone to walk you down the aisle, don't you?"

A sad, but hopeful smile crossed her lips as she nodded to him. In the past there were a lot of different moments like this one, in which he would know exactly what she needed and how to calm down her heart. And apart from her papa and Robin, no one else in the world had this power over Alice.

"Would you do this for me?"

"Of course," Rumple guaranteed, looking down at the pirate, who was watching them with a grin. "But only if that is alright for your father."

"Just fine, matte," Rogers agreed, tapping a hand to his arm. "I'm glad to see you back, I've been meaning to thank you."

A new giggle filled the room and all eyes turned to the blue-eyes beauty that stood behind her husband. Not Alice nor Rogers had the chance to meet her before, but with all the information Rumple gave them about her, they felt like somehow, she was already a dear member of the family.

"You must be Belle," Alice said, pulling away from Rumplestitskin to take a better look at her before throwing her arms around the brunette and hugging her tight with a happy sigh. "You are as beautiful as in the pictures."

"Thank you," she said, softly, holding the girl carefully to not ruin her hair. "You are as lovely as Rumplestiltskin said."

For a long moment, everybody was all watery smiles when somebody appeared by the door way and stole their attentions – and in Rumple and Belle’s case, their breath too.

"Alice, it's time to..."  Gideon Gold started but stopped when he set eyes on the two people that shouldn’t be there. "Papa? Mama?"

Their faces lighted up at the sight of him – their precious boy who they hadn’t seen for such a long time – and a sob erupted from Belle’s throat as she threw her arms around Gideon, just a second before Rumple did it himself holding both of them in his warm embrace.

"Oh, my boy," Alice heard him mutter to his son.

She exchanged a happy glare with her papa as they pulled away from the hug, both Rumple and Belle looking at their boy in utter adoration. As someone who had spent years apart from her father, Alice could say they missed each other enormously and had probably been hurting all the time they’ve spent apart.

"How - " Gideon tried to start, but Rumplestiltskin shook his head at him.

"We will have time to explain," he promised.

Gideon nodded, wiping the corners of his eyes with the pads of his thumbs. He too was ready for the ceremony – he was Alice’s best man, while Henry was Robin’s – and straightened his suit jacket before pulling on a smile.

"What if I push the chair so you can both give her away at the altar in somehow?" Belle asked Rogers with a wink, positioning her hands on the handles.

"I would be thankful."

"Come on then."

Leading him through the hallway with her son by her side, Belle slowly disappeared, leaving Alice and Rumplestiltskin – Weaver, to a great part of her mind, which still insisted in calling herself Tilly sometimes – alone in the backroom, just waiting for the bride’s song to start to play, announcing that it was their time to come in.

Alice picked up her bouquet of pink lilies and white roses and bit down her lip as she accepted the arm he was stretching out for her. Now she felt safe. Now she knew that even though her papa would have to be waiting for her at the end of the aisle, somebody would be there for her, to make sure she would make it and that she wouldn’t trip by accident in her brand-new high heels that made her look as tall as Robin.

"Thank you for doing this for me," she said, sincerely. "You've always been a special friend. More like a second father."

"And I care for you as a daughter," Rumplestiltskin answered, touching her cheek and catching one single tear she didn’t realised she had dropped. "Now let's get you married."

The great hall was full of people, some she had never seen in her life, but Robin swore, were old friends of hers; some she knew their faces by heart as knowing that they were there made an inexplicable happiness burst inside her chest. The music was slow and romantic, not of the kind she would enjoy most days, but that today, sounded perfect.

All of their guests were already jaw-dropped when they appeared, probably because none of them expected to see Belle who had been dead for years now, as a guest too, but Alice wasn’t paying attention to their faces now, because all she could see was Robin. She looked beautiful, no sleeves, a tight simple dress with thin skirts, hair tied on a braid, which was adorned with flowers.

She was wearing those silly glasses and, gods, she looked way too cute in them, so cute that Alice wanted to kiss her until she was breathless. Alice tightened her grip on Rumple’s arm and glanced up at him, receiving the gentlest of the smiles back, an encouragement to keep walking towards the woman she loved.

"What the hell is happening in here?" Zelena Mills inquired from her place beside Regina, both of them clearly confused.

Robin, however didn’t waste time with questions, she immediately reached for Alice, taking her hand – the one Rumple offered her – and smiling as widely as she could, her greenish eyes fixed on her blue ones.

"Alice," Robin breathed. "You look amazing."

"Take care of her," Rogers said, winking at her from his wheelchair.

"You've heard the Captain, Miss,” Rumple added. “You better treat this girl well."

“Count on me, I plan on making her the happiest woman in this world, or any other,” Robin said, leading Alice to their places as Rumplestiltskin joined his wife and son to watch the ceremony.

It was impossible for Alice to stop smiling, because she was facing Robin, hearing their ceremonialist, Archie Hopper, say a few lovely words about love and knowing that all people she most loved were gathered there to celebrate their happiness. So, when she was asked to pronounce the final two words, they got out of her in a happy sigh.

“I do,” she said a second before being interrupted by the loveliest kiss she had ever shared in her life.

They were wife and… Wife.

[chomesuke]

Hey @emoqueee!!! I’m your dgm secret santa!

@dgmsecretsanta2k17

Prompts: "subtle yullen fluff writing omg. But also just a cute portrait of a single character would also be nice (i know this is the number one spot i dont mind either!) "2 characters interacting!"

I think I managed both subtle yullen and fluff?? I don’t know. I’m too tired to tell right now. Also, I hope you like dogs. Because I gave them a dog.

Allen was sitting on the back porch of Komui and Lenalee’s house, and watching Kanda garden while an enormous puppy tried to “help”, and for the first time in a while Allen was truly content.

The sun was shining brightly golden in a sunset glow. It made the scene feel like something from a fairy tale, if fairy tale characters were in the habit of swearing loudly and viciously as they tried to stop a dog almost as big as them from destroying all the plants. Despite his language, Kanda was gentle as he repeatedly pulled the puppy away from whatever destruction she was wreaking.

It wasn’t long before he gave up and turned to Allen, who was watching them with a wide, stretching grin. ‘Your dog is a menace, beansprout. Take her away before I kill you for bringing her here.’

Allen waved his hand lazily. ‘You don’t mean that,’ he said. ‘And Muffin’s just trying to be helpful. You might as well let her.’

Muffin’s tail thumped against the ground when she heard her name.

‘Maybe her “help” is useful for someone you, you one-armed bastard, but these vegetables are supposed to be used for our food, not some mongrel’s playground.’ Kanda was glaring at Allen, but while he restrained Muffin it was also possible to see that he was trying to sneakily pet her.

It was cute to see someone as grumpy as Kanda being a dog person. It made Allen want to laugh at him, and leave her there because it was obvious neither dog nor grump truly hated it. But...

Food. He could not let her ruin the food. Allen stood up so suddenly that he felt a little dizzy. ‘Muffin!’ he called, holding out his hand. She perked up immediately, and bounded out of Kanda’s arms, her tongue lolling out into a sweet doggy grin. She was smart enough to realise that knocking into people was bad, so she slowed down just before crashing into him, and tried to wash his face in her excitement instead. The drool got everywhere.

‘Even now after all this time, when you don’t even have your parasitic innocence making you have to eat so much, food is still the most important thing to you.’ Kanda followed behind her, rolling his eyes. Apparently being close to the dog was more important than fixing the vegetable garden.

‘That’s not true!’ Allen protested, wiping dog slobber off his face with his sleeve. ‘Money is important too! And my friends!’

‘So what? Food and money are more important than us?’ Kanda flopped down next to him and Muffin, somehow making his casual movements look graceful. His hair was let down and he wore a smirk as his expression. He looked beautiful in the lighting. It really was only the lighting that made Allen think that. Probably.

‘Oh? You consider yourself my friend, Kanda? That’s news to me.’ Allen was smirking too, only stopping to pop a sweet into his mouth from the open bag he had on his other side.

‘Fuck you,’ was Kanda’s only reply. He leant back on both hands and stared up at the sky above their heads and he smiled just a little when Muffin dropped down and rested her snout on his lap, watching him imploringly with her big dark eyes.

Allen was close to popping another sweet in his mouth when Kanda smiled, and he froze instead, his hand with the sweet just centimetres from his mouth.

‘What are you doing?’ Kanda frowned when he noticed Allen staring at him.

Allen tore his gaze away and went back to munching, saying nothing.

‘The beansprout’s being weird,’ Kanda told Muffin, his voice gravely serious. ‘I’m sorry you have such a weird owner.’

Muffin let out a whine in response and snuggled closer to him.

‘Even after all this time, you can’t be bothered calling my by name.’

‘That’s because beansprout suits you better, beansprout.’

Allen wanted to punch Kanda for that, but didn’t for fear of dislodging or upsetting Muffin, so he settled on petting her instead. She was covered in dirt from playing in the garden, and Allen’s hand came away dirty. She wasn’t so dirty as to need a bath, so Allen decided that he would steal Kanda’s hairbrush and to brush it all out.

‘Where’d you even find her?’ Kanda wondered.

‘Ah.’ Allen frowned and didn’t look at Kanda. ‘I’ve said before that I tried joining a circus again for a bit, right?’

‘Huh? Yeah. Were they stupid enough there to mistake her for a circus elephant or something?’

‘I don’t think anyone would be that stupid,’ Allen said drily. ‘But no, she was the ringmaster’s dog. He didn’t treat her very well though, and…’ Allen shrugged his shoulders, and tried to keep any emotion leaking out from his voice. ‘It reminded me of when I was a child. Of the original Allen, and everything else too.’ Even now Allen didn’t like to talk about back then.

As if sensing some distress, Muffin stood up and licked his face. Her nose was wet and cold against his cheek and she ended up getting some of his hair in her mouth.

Allen scratched her gently behind her ears, and laughed. It was half genuine.

Kanda was watching them, looking even more annoyed than usual, but it wasn’t Allen or Muffin he was annoyed at. ‘I hope you punched him.’

‘Of course!’ Allen said, indignant. ‘He was a bastard. He even told me that I should be a part of a freak show instead of a clown because I only had one arm. And then I stole his dog.’ He smiled at Muffin who sat on him in response. Being a very giant newfoundland dog, she was very heavy, and her great big paws dug in hard.

Allen had trouble pushing her off with one hand, but Kanda came to the rescue and distracted her with one of the dog toys that had been left everywhere around the entire place in the few days that Allen had come to stay with the Lee siblings.

‘Pathetic, beansprout, and you used to call yourself an exorcist.’ Kanda didn’t look at him, too busy starting a game of tug of war with Muffin, who boofed happily.

‘Hey! I haven’t been an exorcist for years now! You try doing everything one handed.’

‘I have lost an arm before, if you don’t remember.’ Kanda’s face screwed up in concentration as Muffin tried to pull his arms out of their sockets.

‘Oh,’ said Allen, who had forgot. ‘Sorry.’

‘Whatever. So what are you going to do now, join yet another circus?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘Then stay here.’

‘What?’

‘I said stay here,’ said Kanda, finally retrieving the toy and throwing it for Muffin to chase after. ‘Lenalee misses you whenever you leave, and it’s not like you ever look all that happy about what you do when you’re gone.’

Kanda was sort of right, but Allen didn’t want to admit that. ‘You’re sure you’re not the one missing me instead of Lenalee?’

‘What?’ Kanda’s eyes went wide, and his face was all confused and surprised and maybe angry and a bunch of other words Allen didn’t bother with right then. ‘Why would I…? Who the hell would miss you, beansprout?’

‘As you just said before, Lenalee. Oh, and also you. You’re not very in touch with your feelings, you know that, Kanda?’

Kanda grabbed Allen by his shirt, and Allen might be worried right then if Kanda still had his mugen. Luckily, he didn’t, so Allen grinned mockingly at him instead.

Kanda gritted his teeth and was about to say something, to turn their talk into a proper argument, when Muffin returned, bounding up the stairs and shoving herself between their bodies.

She whined pitifully and stared at them. Don’t fight, her big dark eyes seemed to say.

‘Okay,’ Allen said after a moment. ‘No fighting. Got it.’

‘I suppose I can stop myself from cutting the beansprout’s head off if it keeps Muffin happy,’ Kanda agreed.

‘What was that, bastard?’

‘Fuck off,’ Kanda replied. ‘And don’t think I didn’t notice that you ignored the second part of what I said.’

Allen wondered if dinner would be ready soon.

‘Hey. Don’t ignore me.’

Allen wondered what there would be for pudding.

‘Hey, Muffin. Do you think your owner died? I think you should bite him to check.’

‘Kanda! Don’t be such a bad influence!’ Allen slung his arm around Muffin’s neck and told her not to listen to a thing Kanda said, because it was all rubbish, okay? Muffin just panted contentedly.

‘So you were listening,’ Kanda said.

‘Shut up.’

‘Then tell me why you always leave even though it always makes you miserable. It’s not like you have to, idiot.’

‘Fuck off,’ Allen muttered.

‘Allen.’

Kanda’s voice shocked Allen. Hearing his name in Kanda’s voice shocked Allen. It made him shudder. He was a little bit relieved then, that Kanda almost never used it. Because it would be weird if he reacted like he did then every time it was used.

It also showed how serious he was.

‘Are you going to punch me if I don’t say anything?’ Allen asked dully, keeping his attention focused entirely on playing with Muffin’s shaggy black fur.

‘So you do have a brain.’ Kanda leant against the porch railing, and he watched him, his eyes level and never looking away. The sensation of being watched was strong and impossible to ignore.

Allen fidgeted, silent still before giving up.

‘Is there really a place for me here?’ Allen asked in a small voice.

‘You seriously have to ask that?’ Kanda stared. But it was a different stare than before. Like he was just baffled more than anything. Oh. That was probably exactly what he was feeling.

Allen fidgeted, uncomfortable.

Kanda’s confusion lasted a few moments more before he rolled his eyes and made that irritated ‘tch’ noise he sometimes did. ‘There’s already way too many people staying here and they all love you for some reason. There’s no way they wouldn’t want you here.’

There was silence while Allen digested those words. Then he started talking again, ‘I feel like I can’t stay still. Like I have to be out there doing something. But I can’t be an exorcist any longer, and for so long that was my reason to keep living. I don’t know what to do anymore.’ It was a small relief to say that out loud.

‘Why do you have to do anything?’

‘Never stop walking,’ Allen said. ‘Keep moving forward.’ He shook his head. ‘Even now I don’t want to abandon those words.’

‘Then stay here while you figure out what to do next, idiot.’ Kanda spoke like what he was saying was completely obvious. And maybe it was.

‘Huh?’

‘It’s not like you have to be moving around to actually do anything. And besides, after all that time we spent fighting, it’s all right to take a break, for a while at least.’ Kanda was staring at the horizon, where the sun was disappearing.

‘Do you want me to stay, Kanda?’

‘Everyone wants you to fucking stay, beansprout. Even Lavi misses you whenever he turns up.’ Kanda wasn’t looking Allen in the eyes now, and it irritated him.

‘No. Do you want me stay?’

Kanda said nothing, uncomfortably looking anywhere but at Allen.

‘If you tell me you want me to stay, then I will, for a while at least.’ Allen said it seriously. A break… time to relax, and laugh with friends… it sounded nice.

‘Stay,’ Kanda finally said, after a minute or two, his voice quiet.

‘What? Kanda, you might have to repeat that. I didn’t hear you.’

‘What, are you deaf as well as annoying now?’ Kanda scowled at him.

Kanda was still grumbling when Allen stood up. Muffin cocked her head, confused as he moved. Allen sat again, but this time right next to Kanda, leaving no space between their bodies. Kanda was frowning, obviously confused by Allen’s actions, yet he didn’t move away when Allen leant his head on his shoulder. Muffin padded after him and curled her large body against their backs.

‘What are you doing, beansprout?’ Kanda asked, voice wary.

‘Nothing,’ said Allen. ‘I was just thinking that the sun sets so early these days, and that it might be nice to spend whatever time there is enjoying myself.’

Kanda sighed, and didn’t offer any reply. Instead he curled an arm around Allen, and that was enough of an answer itself. Dinner would be soon, food to be eaten, and friends happy to see him, but for now Allen was content to stay still.

[sunflowersandcerulean]

1. Be together for the right reasons

I asked people who were on their second or third (or fourth) marriages what they did wrong. Where did they mess up?

By far, the most common answer was “being with the person for the wrong reasons.”

Some of these wrong reasons included:

Pressure from friends and family

Feeling like a “loser” because they were single and settling for the first person that came along

Being together for image—because the relationship looked good on paper (or in photos), not because the two people actually admired each other

Being young and naive and hopelessly in love and thinking that love would solve everything

As we’ll see throughout the rest of this article, everything that makes a relationship “work” (and by work, I mean that it is happy and sustainable for both people involved) requires a genuine, deep-level admiration for each other. Without that mutual admiration, everything else will unravel.

2. Have realistic expectations about relationships and romance

You are absolutely not going to be absolutely gaga over each other every single day for the rest of your lives, and all this “happily ever after” bullshit is just setting people up for failure. 

Romantic love is a trap designed to get two people to overlook each other’s faults long enough to get some babymaking done. It generally only lasts for a few years at most.

True love—that is, deep, abiding love that is impervious to emotional whims or fancy—is a choice. It’s a constant commitment to a person regardless of the present circumstances. It’s a commitment to a person who you understand isn’t going to always make you happy—nor should they!—and a person who will need to rely on you at times, just as you will rely on them.

3. The most important factor in a relationship is not communication, but respect

Communication, no matter how open, transparent and disciplined, will always break down at some point. Conflicts are ultimately unavoidable, and feelings will always be hurt.

And the only thing that can save you and your partner, that can cushion you both to the hard landing of human fallibility, is an unerring respect for one another, the fact that you hold each other in high esteem, believe in one another—often more than you each believe in yourselves—and trust that your partner is doing his/her best with what they’ve got.

4. Talk openly about everything, especially the stuff that hurts

If something bothers you in the relationship, you must be willing to say it. Saying it builds trust and trust builds intimacy. It may hurt, but you still need to do it. No one else can fix your relationship for you. Nor should anyone else.

5. A healthy relationship means two healthy individuals

Understand that it is up to you to make yourself happy, it is NOT the job of your spouse. 

Shitty, codependent relationships have an inherent stability because you’re both locked in an implicit bargain to tolerate the other person’s bad behavior because they’re tolerating yours, and neither of you wants to be alone. 

A healthy and happy relationship requires two healthy and happy individuals. Keyword here: “individuals.” That means two people with their own identities, their own interests and perspectives, and things they do by themselves, on their own time.

6. Give each other space

Be sure you have a life of your own, otherwise it is harder to have a life together. What do I mean? Have your own interests, your own friends, your own support network, and your own hobbies. Overlap where you can, but not being identical should give you something to talk about and expose one another to. It helps to expand your horizons as a couple, but isn’t so boring as both living the exact same life.

– Anonymous

7. You and your partner will grow and change in unexpected ways; embrace it

One theme that came up repeatedly, especially with those married 20+ years, was how much each individual changes as the decades roll on, and how ready each of you have to be to embrace the other partner as these changes occur. One reader commented that at her wedding, an elderly family member told her, “One day many years from now, you will wake up and your spouse will be a different person, make sure you fall in love with that person too.

8. Get good at fighting

What Gottman does is he gets married couples in a room, puts some cameras on them, and then he asks them to have a fight.

Notice: he doesn’t ask them to talk about how great the other person is. He doesn’t ask them what they like best about their relationship.

He asks them to fight. Pick something they’re having problems with and talk about it for the camera.

And from simply analyzing the film for the couple’s discussion (or shouting match, whatever), he’s able to predict with startling accuracy whether a couple will divorce or not.

But what’s most interesting about Gottman’s research is that the things that lead to divorce are not necessarily what you think. Successful couples, like unsuccessful couples, he found, fight consistently. And some of them fight furiously.

He has been able to narrow down four characteristics of a couple that tend to lead to divorces (or breakups). He has gone on and called these “the four horsemen” of the relationship apocalypse in his books. They are:

Criticizing your partner’s character (“You’re so stupid” vs “That thing you did was stupid”)

Defensiveness (or basically, blame shifting, “I wouldn’t have done that if you weren’t late all the time”)

Contempt (putting down your partner and making them feel inferior)

Stonewalling (withdrawing from an argument and ignoring your partner)

The reader emails back this up as well. Out of the 1,500-some-odd emails, almost every single one referenced the importance of dealing with conflicts well.

Advice given by readers included:

Never insult or name-call your partner. Put another way: hate the sin, love the sinner. Gottman’s research found that “contempt”—belittling and demeaning your partner—is the number one predictor of divorce.

Do not bring previous fights/arguments into current ones. This solves nothing and just makes the fight twice as bad as it was before. Yeah, you forgot to pick up groceries on the way home, but what does him being rude to your mother last Thanksgiving have to do with anything?

If things get too heated, take a breather. Remove yourself from the situation and come back once emotions have cooled off a bit. This is a big one for me personally—sometimes when things get intense with my wife, I get overwhelmed and just leave for a while. I usually walk around the block two or three times and let myself seethe for about 15 minutes. Then I come back and we’re both a bit calmer and we can resume the discussion with a much more conciliatory tone.

Remember that being “right” is not as important as both people feeling respected and heard. You may be right, but if you are right in such a way that makes your partner feel unloved, then there’s no real winner.

9. Get good at forgiving

To me, perhaps the most interesting nugget from Gottman’s research is the fact that most successful couples don’t actually resolve all of their problems. In fact, his findings were completely backwards from what most people actually expect: people in lasting and happy relationships have problems that never completely go away, while couples that feel as though they need to agree and compromise on everything end up feeling miserable and falling apart.

To me, like everything else, this comes back to the respect thing. If you have two different individuals sharing a life together, it’s inevitable that they will have different values and perspectives on some things and clash over it. The key here is not changing the other person—as the desire to change your partner is inherently disrespectful (to both them and yourself)—but rather it’s to simply abide by the difference, love them despite it, and when things get a little rough around the edges, to forgive them for it.

10. The little things add up to big things

Of the 1,500 responses I got, I’d say about half of them mentioned at some point or another one simple but effective piece of advice: Don’t ever stop doing the little things. They add up.

Things as simple as saying, “I love you,” before going to bed, holding hands during a movie, doing small favors here and there, helping with some household chores. Even cleaning up when you accidentally pee on the toilet seat (seriously, someone said that)—these things all matter and add up over the long run.

11. Sex matters… a LOT

But sex not only keeps the relationship healthy, many readers suggested that they use it to heal their relationships. That when things are a bit frigid between them or that they have some problems going on, a lot of stress, or other issues (i.e., kids), they even go so far as to schedule sexy time for themselves. They say it’s important. And it’s worth it.

12. Be practical, and create relationship rules

Then there’s how relationships actually work.

Messy. Stressful. Miscommunication flying everywhere so that both of you feel as though you’re in a perpetual state of talking to a wall.

The fact is relationships are imperfect, messy affairs. And it’s for the simple reason that they’re comprised of imperfect, messy people—people who want different things at different times in different ways and oh, they forgot to tell you? Well, maybe if you had been listening, asshole.

The common theme of the advice here was “Be pragmatic.” If the wife is a lawyer and spends 50 hours at the office every week, and the husband is an artist and can work from home most days, it makes more sense for him to handle most of the day-to-day parenting duties. If the wife’s standard of cleanliness looks like a Home & Garden catalog, and the husband has gone six months without even noticing the light fixture hanging from the ceiling, then it makes sense that the wife handles more of the home cleaning duties.

It’s economics 101: division of labor makes everyone better off. Figure out what you are each good at, what you each love/hate doing, and then arrange accordingly. My wife loves cleaning (no, seriously), but she hates smelly stuff. So guess who gets dishes and garbage duty? Me. Because I don’t give a fuck. I’ll eat off the same plate seven times in a row. I couldn’t smell a dead rat even if it was sleeping under my pillow. I’ll toss garbage around all day. Here honey, let me get that for you.

13. Learn to ride the waves

The man said something like, “relationships exist as waves, people need to learn how to ride them.” Upon asking him to explain, he said that, like the ocean, there are constant waves of emotion going on within a relationship, ups and downs—some waves last for hours, some last for months or even years. The key is understanding that few of those waves have anything to do with the quality of the relationship—people lose jobs, family members die, couples relocate, switch careers, make a lot of money, lose a lot of money. Your job as a committed partner is to simply ride the waves with the person you love, regardless of where they go. Because ultimately, none of these waves last. And you simply end up with each other.

[wwesmutdonedirtcheap]

Two For The Show

Prompt: Seth asks you to be exclusive and you want to think about it. You are part of a scripted show (for the network) and one of the female wrestlers is supposed to pick on you. Seth joins in (as scripted) and decides to say something about your fear of commitment. Only later he finds out you had something special planned to tell him you are ready to be his. Angsty with Fluffy Smut at the end. @screamersdontdance

@blondekel77 @wweismyguiltypleasure

@lavitabella87

@writergrrrl29

@charlitflair @lip-sync @emmarablack @lunaticfringe216 @amberhere-hi @thatonegirloncealways @queenreignsempire @debeauxmots @kittencutie245 @ilovesamizaynn @banrioncethlenn @screamersdontdance @redalternativefirefly @filthy-parade @welshwitch5 @nickysmum1909 @msgem @uberduber-loulou @cutester  @harleyquinnnikki @lclb12 @imagines–assemble @wrasslin-rollins @xenofi  @daywalker666 @heilisk @racheo91 @lilmisscrisis  @alexispoo

@wrasslesmut   @hardcorewwetrash

@ashleyvc88

@caramara3         @underwaterwonderwoman

@skyemeetsreignsmain

@shadow-of-wonder

@randyortonstattoos   @hevluvsya102   @blondekel77

@50-shades-of-roman-reigns   @sarahmatthews7     @hiitsmecharlie

@tooweirdforlifex  @covergirlcollarbones  @valeonmars  @daintymissdevitt

@dolph-wwe   @pjanina13   @enzoshair   @emmarablack @legitlunatic @ashleymarie2021 @fangirltrash-25  @phlebotomyprincess1  @devittslegos

@avixenwrites     @iloveenzoamore     @theitscammy     @thatonegirloncealways     @finnbalorsbabygirl     @lavitabella87   @thedeboniardevistation   @fmlallthewayup    @itsjustemillly  @karaboomhower   @msgem  @iceninekiller-blog-blog    @littledeadrottinghood

@bizclizbaybay 

@shieldfanomg

I don’t know what ever made me agree to do something so ridiculous. Maybe I thought it would be fun, or boost my career as an interviewer or…I don’t even have a good reason.

I agreed to be part of a new reality-ish show on the Network. I use the word reality loosely because like all reality shows…It’s really not. They throw us together in situations and basically tell us what to talk about. The rest of it is mostly real…but that doesn’t leave much.

I should have known that the false reality would fuck with my own reality….

“So, we’ve got Nattie’s birthday party tomorrow,” Seth groaned, rolling over toward me in my hotel bed.

I rolled my eyes and moved closer to him. His chin rested on top of my head and as usual, his hand immediately went to playing with my hair.

“Is it to late to back out of this show?” I giggled against his taunt chest.

“Yup,” he sighed, letting the ‘p’ sound pop loudly.

I snuggled closer, as his fingers still ran through my hair repeatedly. The rise and fall of his chest was so comforting to me that I knew any minute I could fall asleep.

“Have I ever told you that you are literally the best body pillow in the world?”

“Once or twice,” Seth mused “But I don’t mind it.”

I slowly crawled my fingers up his chest, teasing at his skin playfully. He didn’t wait for me to finish.

He dove his fingers into my side, tickling me. He was the master of the tickle sneak assault.

“Seth,” I squealed, wriggling all over the bed trying to escape him.

He laughed, a carefree, genuine laugh and I loved hearing it. He pinned me beneath him and continued tickling me all down my naked body.

“Seth!” I shrieked, trying my best to tickle him in return.

His hands managed to grab my feet and I started furiously kicking my freshly painted toes at his shins.

“Shit,” he laughed, “Ok, ok. I give!”

“I knew you would,” I smirked in satisfaction, seizing the opportunity to wrap my arms completely around him.

He kissed me quickly on the lips, before we fell back into our snuggling position.

He twirled a piece of my hair around his finger and let out a contented sigh.

I pushed my leg through the two of his, wrapping them tightly together.

“Have you thought any more about it?” he finally asked after a period of silence.

“Mhm,” I mumbled against him.

“And?” he whispered, his lips kissing the top of my head.

“I still don’t know,” I replied, clenching my eyes shut preparing for his reaction.

He moved away, pulling my shoulders back so our faces were right in front of each other.

“Why?” his brow furrowed.

“You know why,” I shook my head.

“That was a year ago,” he gripped me a little tighter “And I’m not him.”

I had a relationship with Zack Ryder that fell apart a year before and my trust in men had not returned completely. He had cheated and I had been a devastated wreck for months.

Seth had been a welcome change but I had went into this new ‘relationship’ cautiously. He wasn’t without his history of infidelity and while I believed he was only seeing me, it was hard to take the next step to exclusivity.

“I know you’re not,” I shrugged out of his grasp and set up in the bed.

“Then why are you punishing yourself…and me for something that son of a bitch did?”

I looked over at him, as he sat up next to me, and the silence in the air seemed to answer him. He ran his hands back through his hair in frustration before looking to meet my eyes.

“Oh,” he nodded, as his jaw clenched angrily “I get it…I’ve cheated on women before so I’m just like him right?”

“I didn’t say that,” I reached out and ran my hand along the side of his face.

He flinched but he didn’t pull away.

“I want to be with you,” he sighed “Just you. I’m not going to hurt you…I’m not going to cheat on you with some other woman…I care about you. I fucking love you and you know that.”

“I know,” I nodded, my hand going into the hair framing his face.

“Then you need to decide,” his tongue licked his lower lip angrily “You need to decide right now. Am I what you want? Do you want this with me?”

Right now? Seriously? He was going to throw an ultimatum at me in the middle of the night?

“Seth…” I recoiled my hand.

“And there’s my answer,” his eyes grew stormy.

He slid out of the bed and began furiously putting on his clothes.

“Where are you going?” I heard my voice sound pleading.

“To my room,” he glanced up as he hooked his belt.

“Please don’t do this,” I sat up on my knees, the sheet falling from around me.

“I didn’t do this,” he turned to stare at me “You did.”

“Seth, I just need a little more time,” I whispered.

“Time?” he walked back over to the bed and leaned down toward me “It’s been months, Y/N. We have been doing this for months! You are what I want but I can’t wait on you forever. You gotta decide if you want to be happy. Because when we’re together, I know you’re happy. I feel it. I know it because I know you. We know each other because this between us…It’s fucking real.”

“I know it is,” I sighed, drawing the sheet back over me and crawling closer to him “You make me happy. You make me so happy Seth…And that’s the problem. Happiness scares me because when you’re happy then you’re setting yourself up to lose everything.”

“So you’d rather just be miserable,” he pressed his forehead sharply against mine.

His eyes closed and he let out a deep frustrated breath. I let the question hover in the air, both of our hearts racing in our temples. The tension between us was just as thick as the desire.

“I don’t know,” I mumbled, my lips ghosting over his cheek.

“Well, when you figure it out you let me know.”

He pulled away from me and snatched his t-shirt off the back of a chair.

“Seth,” I pleaded, my voice cracking.

“I’ll see you at Nattie’s party tomorrow,” he spat, as he headed toward the door.

“Seth.”

The door slammed behind him.

I spent the whole next day in bed, staring at my phone. Not a single message or sign from Seth at all.  I had managed to eat a bowl of oatmeal and an apple. That was the only food I had consumed and that was because the growl of my hungry stomach was starting to grate on my nerves. The rest of the time I had stared blankly at the walls, crying my eyes out, watching the minutes tick by and trying to figure out what I was going to do with my life.

Did I want a real, serious long term relationship with Seth? Was I willing to place all of my trust and love and future in the hands of a man who had been known to break hearts? Not just that but was I willing to place all of that in the hands of anyone?

I loved him, very much. He always made me feel happy and loved and important. He always asked me how my day was and he actually listened to the answer.

Seth made it a point to have time set aside for just us. Even if it was stealing an evening watching television and getting into those intense tickle fights that always led to more of the most amazing sex I had ever had in my life.

When we had sex, no matter the mood, it was mind blowing. Not just because Seth was a great lover but because of the connection I felt when I was with him. He kept eye contact, he spoke to me during it, he touched me how I wanted and sometimes how I didn’t know I needed to be. He knew my body better than I did. I had never experienced that with anyone.

It wasn’t just the physical either. He took care of me, he valued my opinions, he wanted the best for me and he helped me any way that he could to achieve my dreams. He had done wonders for my interviewing career in the business, giving me countless practice interviews. He assumed all different personas and characters. He truly had been amazing.

He was amazing.

He was everything I wanted.

So why was I torturing myself with 'what ifs’ and hypotheticals? Why was I comparing Seth to other men, to his past self? He wasn’t that man anymore.

He was the man who tickled me just to watch me giggle. He was the man who drove fifty miles in the middle of the night to change the flat on my rental car and then taught me how to do it in case he wasn’t around next time. He was the man who introduced me to his dog like he was introducing me to his first born. The man who carried me around when I 'lightly’ sprained my ankle even though it wasn’t necessary.

He was the man I had loved for nearly ten months and yet, I couldn’t commit to him?

He wasn’t the problem.

I was the problem.

If didn’t let all of my fear go, I was going to lose the love of my life.

The wardrobe department had my entire party ensemble planned out when I arrived the next evening for Nattie’s birthday bash.

“Girl, we’re gonna have to get to work on your eyes,” one of the makeup artists observed as I sat down.

“Yeah,” I whispered hoarsely.

My throat was scratchy from crying and I knew my eyes were a mess, along with every other part of me.

“You ok?” she asked me, as she hovered over me dropping some clear eyes into them to get rid of the redness.

“Long night,” I shook my head once she finished “I don’t really want to talk about it.”

She finished my makeup, making small talk and it was nice to be distracted for a little while. Once she finished, I found my dress amongst the others hanging on a rack.

Nattie’s dress was black with a bold pink trim. Mine looked like something out of a princess movie. They both fit our personalities but I thought mine looked more like a birthday dress. The black suited Nattie though.

I slid on the cotton candy pink, short dress and pulled at the sweetheart neckline as the hairdresser finished pinning my curls in to place.

It was taking a lot of work to make it look like I had just 'showed up’ at this party. As if I had done all the work myself to make me look halfway presentable after the night I had went through.

“You look gorgeous,” Lana walked up next to me “Stunning.”

Lana always was a welcomed face at events. She was one of my closest confidantes and one of the few who knew the details of my relationship with Seth. I desperately wanted to talk to her but she was hand in hand with Rusev and taping was about to start.

“Thanks,” I smiled instead, kissing her on the cheek “So do you.”

She and Rusev headed into the large tent where the party was being held. I stood back, trying to work up the courage to go inside.

“So.”

I sighed and turned to see Alexa standing behind me. Her dress was a bright red confection of tule. She was sure to stand out. I wasn’t even sure why she had agreed to do the show when she hated the idea of it so much.

“Yeah?” I put on my best fake smile.

“They want me to address the elephant in the 'tent’,” she rolled her eyes.

“What?” I laughed lightly, folding my arms across my chest.

“They want me to talk about you and Seth,” she snipped “I’m supposed to bring up this little thing you two have going on.”

Seth and I had been taped cuddling up during parties and events for the show. It only appeared like we were close friends and nothing beyond that had ever been addressed in front of the cameras.

“What are you talking about?” I shook my head “That’s private.”

“Well, I was just warning you,” she huffed “Believe me, I don’t want to talk about your love life but I have a pay check coming my way so….I’m gonna do it.”

She flounced passed me but it felt like she had slapped me in the face.

Who in the hell had come up with this plan? I glared in the direction of the producers who knew exactly why I was angry. They just turned and avoided me.

I was just about to head in their direction when I spotted Seth.

He came out of one of the wardrobe tents. He had on a tux that fit him perfectly. Every muscle and lean curve of his body was accentuated by it. His hair was pulled into a low pony tail. He immediately saw me and turned to go the other way.

“Seth!” I called after him.

I watched his shoulders slump as he stopped in his tracks and waited for me to catch up.

“I need to tell you something,” I put my hand on his shoulder when I reached him.

“I know about Alexa,’ he tensed up “Believe me, I’m not happy about it either…But we all signed a contract, didn’t we?”

“That’s not it, Seth,” I walked in front of him.

He was avoiding my eyes, looking beyond me.

“Seth, I really need to talk to you. It’s important,” I reached out for his hand but he pulled away.

I finally followed his gaze behind me and realized he was staring at Eva Marie. She had on the absolute tightest white mini dress I had ever seen. There was no way I could compete with her curves and her face and everything else about how she looked. I felt my stomach sink and I wanted to throw up.

“Oh,” I whispered, the wind catching my curls and blowing them around my face.

“Yeah,” he shoved his hands into his pockets “I uh, I got some stuff I have to film with her so…”

“Sure you do,” I nodded “Don’t uh, don’t let me keep you.”

There was a good thirty seconds of silence. He stared at me, I stared at him, we both glanced over at her with her bright red hair and her long legs.

“I guess Seth Rollins should have a woman like her on his arm,” I shook my head “Not some insecure interviewer, huh?”

“That’s what they say,” he responded, his eyes back on mine.

“Well, then I guess I’ll see you when I see Alexa,” I forced a smile.

“Yeah, see you later,” he nodded, pushing past me slowly.

I watched as he entered the group of Eva, Paige, Dean, Renee and Daniel. They were all laughing, sipping their cocktails. Eva placed her hand on Seth’s shoulder as a camera panned by them.

I felt the tears start to burn in my eyes and I wanted to paw at them but I knew I couldn’t. Thirty minutes in the makeup chair for eyeliner and mascara, there wasn’t time for it. Instead, I dotted the corners of my eyes and turned my head away.

“You look absolutely adorable!” Nattie squealed when she saw me later.

The cameras were on us so I had to put on my bravest and fakest smile to hide how I was truly feeling.

“Happy Birthday beauty,” I giggled, drawing her into a tight hug.

“You ok?” she whispered against my ear.

I shook my head no but as we pulled apart, we went back to our roles.

“This has to be the absolute best birthday party I have ever been to,” I glanced over at TJ “You really are so lucky to have such an amazing husband.”

“I try, I try,” TJ smiled, before leaning over to lightly kiss me on the cheek.

The cameras followed Nattie, as she and TJ made their rounds throughout the party. I let out a deep sigh of relief that my part was over until the Alexa situation.

I slid down in a chair at an empty table and began tearing at a napkin emblazoned with Nattie’s initials and a little tiara.

“You look like you could use a beer.”

I looked up to see Dean, as he sat a Corona down in front of me and took a chair beside me.

“Thanks,” I smiled, clinking my bottle with his.

“I hate this shit,” he sighed, running his hand over his scruffy beard.

“Then why did you sign up for it?”

“You think I signed up for this?” he laughed “Hell no, this was all Renee.”

“But you agreed to it. You signed on the dotted line,” I took a long sip of the beer.

“Yeah, sometimes you gotta make sacrifices, you know? I’m slowly learning that’s how this whole relationship thing works.”

I nodded, my eyes falling back down to the napkin I was annihilating.

“So, you and Seth,” he cleared his throat “You just gonna let that pass you by or what?”

“What?” I laughed in confusion, looking back up at him “How did you…?”

“Come on now,” he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand “Seth’s my buddy. I saw him hanging all over Eva Marie and I asked him what was up.”

“So he told you he’s trying to move on?” I felt a lump rise in my throat.

“Nooo,” he drug the word out “Creative is making him hang over her. He wants to hang all over you but he said you don’t want that.”

“I never said that,” I sighed “I guess I’m learning what real relationships are all about too.”

“He loves you, you know?”  Dean raised an eyebrow “And believe me, if I can see that…You know it’s gotta be fuckin’ true.”

“I know he does,” I whispered “I love him too.”

“Then fuckin’ tell him,” he leaned in closer to me “Cause I gotta tell you, if he starts foolin’ around with Eva, I’m gonna have to drop his ass. Her voice is like nails on a chalk board to me, know what I’m sayin?…I like you.”

“Do you?” I forced a smile.

“Yeah, sure,” he stood up “You’re cute, you’re fun, you’re not all high maintenance like miss red whatever she calls herself…You’re the girl for Seth. Don’t blow it cause you’re scared. You got me?”

“I got you,” I stuck my fist out to meet his extended one.

He winked and then he was gone.

The cameras headed in my direction, Alexa in tow and I knew it was show time. I inhaled a deep breath, watching as Seth came from another direction.

He looked just as uncomfortable as I felt.

Alex and I made small talk for a minute before Seth encroached on the conversation.

“So,” Alexa eyed us both “You two got a thing going on or what? Cause I saw Seth gettin’ cozy with Eva outside. I thought you’d be all over that Y/N?”

I felt like I was frozen. I had built up in my head what I was going to say but I couldn’t think of a single word of it.

“Why would she?” Seth spoke for me “It’s not like we’re exclusive.”

“Really?” Alexa smirked “Seemed that way to all of us.”

“How can you be exclusive with someone who is afraid of commitment?” Seth forced a smile on his face “Gotta take baby steps with this one.”

“Well, Eva is not about baby steps,” Alexa laughed, glaring at me after she did.

“Don’t I know it,” Seth laughed along with her “That girl has no fear.”

I wanted to punch him. I wanted to run. I was stupid. I was so incredibly stupid.

How could Seth humiliate me like that? Show or no show?

“Yeah, well, you guys have fun,” I managed to get out with a straight face.

I backed away from them, just as the cameras pulled away too. I was half way out the tent when I heard him.

“Y/N!” he bellowed “Wait!”

Tears were streaming down my cheeks. My heart was beating so hard in my ears that I could barely hear him or anything else going on around me.

I felt him grab my arm and I jerked it away.

“Don’t touch me!”

His eyes grew dull and he bowed his head as if he were ashamed.

“How could you say that?” I spat at him “That is private. Between you and me! Not the whole god damn world!”

“I’m sorry,” he looked back up at me “I’m just so fucking pissed off at you right now!”

“Well,” I folded my arms “I’m sure that Eva can take care of that for you.”

“That’s all for this stupid ass show!”

“For now,” I shrugged “Give it a few more hours, a few more shots of tequila…I’ll be completely forgotten…As the pathetic interviewer that this fucking show wants me to be! Seth Rollins doesn’t need a girl like me, he needs a girl like her!”

“You know something,” he pointed his finger at me “What if you’re right? What if Seth Rollins is supposed to walk down red carpets and go to award shows with a girl like Eva Marie on his arm? How would that make you feel , huh? How would it feel to know that even she could make a commitment to me and you couldn’t.”

“She? Like she’s special?” I felt my face flaming with anger.

“No, just the opposite,” he held his hands out by his sides “Girls like her are a dime a fuckin’ dozen, Y/N. Girls like her are what people want to see on television. I don’t know why in the hell they do but they do!”

“Good night, Seth,” I choked out, trying to fight back the next wave of tears.

“I didn’t say anything to Alexa that wasn’t true!” he shouted “You are afraid! You’re afraid to be happy with me!”

“Really?” I spun around “Are you sure about that?”

“What is that supposed to mean?” he was taken a back.

“Doesn’t matter,” I shook my head “Not anymore. None of it matters anymore…Have fun with your red carpet model.”

I walked as fast as I could to the valet, avoiding his shouts of my name.

I used my spare key to get into Seth’s room. I quickly started to pick up the rose petals I had gotten room service to place on the bed. They had gotten over eager. I was on my third handful when I heard the door open.

“What…?” I heard Seth’s confused voice behind me.

“I’ll be out of your way in just a minute,” I sniffed, as I snatched up the last of them.

“What is all this?” he ripped his bowtie from around his neck and walked in front of me.

“Nothing,” I shook my head “Not anymore.”

“You tell me right now what this is,” Seth pointed to the champagne bucket sitting on a stand on the other side of the bed.

“Well,” I drew in a sharp breath, tossing the petals into the trash “I had set this up to tell you after the party tonight that I wanted to be with you more than anything in the whole world.”

I felt my voice start to quiver and more tears start to fall. I hated myself for crying. I hadn’t been able to stop myself all day.

“That I wanted you to know that I had been an idiot. That you made me so happy that I couldn’t imagine life without you. That every minute I’m with you, I feel safe and I feel loved and I feel the happiest I have ever been in my whole life.”

“Y/N,” he sighed, reaching out for me but I wouldn’t let him touch me.

“But, that’s all over,” I shrugged in defeat “Because you made it very clear tonight….If our relationship was that important to you, you wouldn’t have been blasting details about it all over television. You wouldn’t have let them drag you into some fake relationship with Eva. You wouldn’t have made me look like a fool, like a blind, pathetic woman…Just like I felt when Zach cheated on me. Pathetic and stupid and used and…”

“Just, please,” Seth closed his eyes and drew in a breath before opening them “Let’s just talk about this ok?”

“There isn’t any reason to talk about it,” I shook my head “I will never be a girl like Eva and I don’t want to be. I will never be oozing confidence all the time because I know what it’s like to be the girl guys leave to be with girls like Eva. I know what its like to finally decide to give your heart to someone and then they throw it away…You know how I know what that’s like, Seth?…Because it’s happened to me twice now.”

“No,” he shook his head “This is all a big misunderstanding ok? I was an asshole and I should have listened to you when you wanted to talk. I shouldn’t have walked out on you last night. And you’re right, I shouldn’t have talked about our relationship to Alexa or anybody..I’m sorry, ok?”

“No,” I whispered “I don’t forgive you, Seth….You can keep the champagne, maybe you can find someone to use it with.”

I tugged at the neckline of my dress, which has slumped down again and turned for the door.

“Don’t do this,” Seth was behind me and I could feel his warm breath hitting my shoulders “Don’t walk out on us.”

“I’m not, Seth,” I answered “You made that decision for me.”

My night was spent very different than the night before. I sat in the bed, still in my cotton candy dress, as call after call came in to my phone.

Seth.

Seth.

Dean.

Seth.

Seth.

Seth.

Nattie.

Seth.

Seth.

Seth.

I chose to ignore them all. Nattie was calling to see what was wrong, I was sure. Dean probably had talked to Seth and wanted to attempt to help in his own awkward way.

I stuffed my face on peanuts and pretzels from the in room snacks and downed several mini bottles of vodka and tequila mixed with the little cans of orange juice in the fridge.

My head was spinning, as I downed yet another and it burned my throat.

Seth.

Seth.

Seth.

Renee.

Seth.

Seth.

Fuck you, Seth.

Seth.

Seth.

I finally turned it off and tossed it across the room. I didn’t care if it broke. At that moment, I didn’t care about anything.

Around four in the morning, there was a knock on the door.

“Whoever it is, go away!” I shouted in my drunken stuper.

“Open this door.”

It was Seth’s voice and I climbed up, stumbling in my little dress to the door and swinging it open.

“Stop calling my fucking phone!” I shrieked into the hallway.

He sighed, pushing me inside and shutting the door behind him.

“Jesus, Y/N,” he took sight of the empty bottles on the bed “How much did you drink?”

“And why do you care?” I huffed, sitting back down on the bed “And why are you here?”

“I’m worried about you,” he sighed “You aren’t answering anyone’s calls.”

“So you did put all of them up to calling me,” I laughed angrily "You’re pathetic.“

"If you would just listen to me,” he sank down on the bed “You’re too drunk now…”

“I am blissfully numb,” I pointed my finger sharply in his chest “You have made me that way. I’m never going to feel anything for anybody ever again.”

I tossed a handful of pretzels in my mouth and held the bag out to him.

“Want one?”

He pushed it away.

“What I want is for you to sober up so I can talk to you,” he sighed.

He was changed out of his suit, dressed in a t-shirt and sweat pants with his hair in a bun.

“What I want is for you to go back to your room, stop calling my phone and leave me the fuck alone,” I insisted, reaching for another mini bottle of tequila.

Seth grabbed it from my hand and tossed it onto the floor.

“You’re going to sleep,” he insisted.

His strong hands pulled me up toward the head of the bed, pushing me to lie down on his tense chest.

“Stop,” I mumbled, fighting the urge to fall asleep on my usual favorite place.

“Please go to sleep,” he whispered “I really need to talk to you.”

“There’s nothing to say,” I struggled against him “Please just leave me alone.”

“There’s everything to say,” he breathed into the top of my hair.

The last thing I remember is his hand starting to stroke my hair.

I woke up to hear the shower running in the bathroom. My head was pounding, although not has bad as I had expected.

“Come on,” Seth came out of the bathroom “Shower.”

“Don’t tell me what to do,” I sat up “I don’t owe you anything.”

“Please, go take a shower,” he said in a calm tone.

I got up and walked passed him, slamming the door behind me.

The shower had felt nice. I left the pink dress in a heap on the floor and changed into pajamas I had left hanging on the towel rack.

When I came out, he was sitting in the middle of the bed.

“Why are you still here?” I folded my arms “I told you last night I wanted you to leave.”

“I’m not leaving until I say what I want to say,” he looked over at me “You said your peace…I wanna say mine.”

“Fine,” I relented nonchalantly.

I sat down beside him, leaving ample room.

“You’re right,” he started “I fucked up. I was angry and I was confused and I ran my mouth like I always do. I had no right to say what I did to Alexa….But that whole Eva thing, you know that was all fake. I don’t give a damn about her. I don’t give a damn about any woman on this whole planet but you. And I failed you. I couldn’t be happy with what we had. I had to push for a label, something to call it so I had a boundary defined. I just didn’t want to screw this up…I have never been so scared to lose someone in my life…I need you, Y/N. There’s not a thing better in this world than being with you. I thought titles and wins and accolades were the only things that ever made me that happy…Until you. Jesus, you’re the reason I get up in the morning now. I want to get up to see you…”

He turned to me, his hand sliding across the blanket to my waiting one.

“Please, please don’t change your mind. Yesterday, before everything…You wanted us. You were going to tell me you wanted us. I want us. Please?”

“Seth, you shared something that was private…”

“And it was stupid!” he turned his whole body toward me “I’m not in the smartest guy in the world, all right? I’ll actually admit that.”

Even though I tried not to, I smiled just a little.

“It won’t happen again,” he sighed “Now that I know you want this as much as I do…I’ll do anything.”

I reached out and ran my hand down his stubble covered jaw.

“Anything?”

“Anything,” he whispered.

I stared at him. This man that I loved. Despite his flaws, despite his stupidity, despite his ego, despite everything…He was kind, he was protective, he was loving and warm…He was the man I loved…Despite everything. One day shouldn’t erase the last ten months.

“Then, touch me,” I whispered, drawing him toward me by his t-shirt.

“What?” he groaned, as my hand ran down his chest.

“If you love me,” I bit softly at his lower lip “Prove it.”

His eyes danced across my face and then his mouth took mine. It opened and closed with sloppy kisses, his tongue prodding deep into my own mouth.

“God, I thought I’d never get to do this again,” he breathed against my neck as he pulled his lips down my throat.

I dug my nails into his scalp as his tongue licked all over my neck and down on the skin exposed by my tank top.

“We’re getting out of those stupid contracts,” he breathed against my skin “And I’m going to do everything I can to get those scenes cut.”

“That would be nice,” I sighed, as his hands went under my shirt and slid it off me.

“Fuck, you’re so beautiful,” he whimpered, his mouth going back to nibbling and licking my chest.

He took a nipple into his mouth and moaned against me, his tongue darting out to lick it.

“Baby, you feel so good,” he gasped, raising up to pull his own shirt off.

I reached my hand down to feel his dick from outside his pants.

“I’m so hard for you,” he groaned, his hand covering mine “Fuck, you turn me on…Last night, that little pink dress you had on…Shit, I wanted to fuck you. So damn bad.”

“If you had, then you might have saved us a fight,” I whimpered, as I moved my hand inside his pants and wrapped my fingers around him.

“Maybe,” he slid his hand into my shorts “But then we wouldn’t have this…And you still have that dress.”

His fingers moved into my underwear.

“You’re so turned on, aren’t you?” he whispered against my ear “Daddy turns you on, don’t I?”

I nodded, as his fingers took hold of my clit and began to massage it. I slowly started to stroke his dick, my mind growing ever distracted by his touch.

“Fuck you’re wet,” he hissed, as he increased his speed on me.

“Seth?” I panted.

“Anything baby,” he kissed me again “Anything you want.”

“Go down,” I gasped, the sensations rising so much I couldn’t complete my thought but he knew.

He slid my shorts and panties off, tossing them and then immediately start licking a trail up and down my wet slit.

“Shit,” I threw my head back into the pillow “Seth.”

He kept his eyes on me as he worked. His lips devouring me over and over. Finally, he nestled his mouth around my clit and sucked so rapidly that I thought I would explode.

I dug my heels into the mattress and his strong hands gripped my thighs even tighter, pulling me closer to him.

“Oh god,” I moaned “Seth, that feels so fuckin’ good.”

In a few more minutes, I felt myself spasm inside his mouth and he moaned against me as I let out a scream. He lapped at me, his tongue tracing the inside of my thighs before sliding up my body to meet my mouth.

He plunged it inside mine and I could taste myself on him.

“Did I do good baby?” he gasped when he came up for air.

“Yes,” I purred “Really good.”

He grabbed his dick in his hand and pressed It against me.

“I don’t deserve this,” he ran his mouth along my ear.

“I don’t either,” I whispered back “But I’m yours now.”

“That’s all I’ve wanted to hear you say,” he moaned before he slid into me.

I gasped as he filled me and went deep immediately.

“I just want to feel all of you,” he panted above me “Everything that’s mine.”

“What’s yours baby?” I gripped his chin in my hands.

“This pussy,” he pounded a hard thrust into me “This beautiful body.”

I squirmed as he started thrusting harder.

“Everything,” his hand came down to push my still curled hair out of my eyes “You’re so fuckin’ smart and beautiful…Shit I’m the luckiest man in the whole god damn world.”

He licked his thumb and pressed it to my clit, rubbing rapidly against it.

“I have the hottest man I’ve ever seen fuck me senseless every night,” I panted, raising up to bite at his bicep.

“Fuck,” he grunted, his thrusts becoming shorter and louder.

“You gonna cum with me?” he looked down into my eyes “Cum with me baby. Cum all over me.”

“Oh, shit, Seth…” I gasped, as I clamped down around him.

He released inside me, repeating my name over and over like a mantra.

He stayed inside of me, easing over onto his side and pulling me with him. Our sweaty foreheads pressed together as we tried to slow our breathing.

“I want you with me every day,” he ran his hands up my bare arms.

“Ok,” I panted, running my hand through his damp hair.

“I want you to move in with me,” his hand took my chin.

“Ok,” I nodded, still smoothing his hair.

“I want you to marry me,” he drew my lips hovering just above his.

“Ok,” I giggled.

“Really?” his eyes widened.

I trusted this man. I loved him with my whole heart. I wouldn’t fuck it up because of fear. Ambrose would be proud.

“Yes,” I giggled again “Yes, Seth I will marry you.”

A sexy smile came across his face as he pulled my lips to his.

And for the first time, ever…I wasn’t scared anymore.