#sometimes i wake up and have a thought and its like “holy fuck its too early for this”

[stars-n-spice]

Thinking about clones either makes me:

Super giddy and happy

Absolutely and utterly devastated and broken hearted, full on sobbing on the floor, shaking and trembling

Horny as fuck

[m1d-45]

been having thoughts so. college. interesting experience. you meet cool people, weird people, normal people, you take classes. sometimes they’re fun, sometimes you’re up at 11:45 crying bc ur goddamn code won’t work right and you don’t know how c# works you’re just a little guy and fuck unity anyways!

my point here. reverse isekai with college student!creator. you’re like “no i can’t go to teyvat from the game genshin impact i paid Five Thousand Dollars for my classes this semester and i’ll be damned if i don’t get my money’s worth” - teddy anon

oh thats hilarious actually

you who only got interesting in genshin because you needed a break from schoolwork, and never intended to get too invested into it. you can never play for very long, frequently having to log-off mid quest because shit, you'd forgotten about your calculus assignment, sorry jean!

your traveller can hear your distress, can tell that your world is getting too overwhelming for you... as time goes on, you save teyvat, but at what cost? your mental health? physical health? no no, the world you were in was flawed.. hopefully you wouldn't mind.

and when you first wake up in teyvat, you don't, not at first. you think its just a really, really weird dream, that your brain tapped out from trying to make sense of if-then-else statements. its a nice break! the people are a bit more reverent than you'd expect—seriously, you barely played twice a week, calm down—but overall, it's not bad!

when you next wake up, you do so with the brief panic of having not turned in your assignments last night. you pull away the blankets with intention, and take a solid step toward the door before registering that you're not in your room anymore. not a dream.

albedo is confused when you ask to go back—why? the traveller said you were stressed, you were overwhelmed, why would you want to go back?

"i went through too much stress to get into those courses and i refuse to let that go to waste."

"holy wind, you- if you wish to learn, i can ask master jean to contact the dendro archon-"

"albedo. my tuition."

[redfurrycat]

🤠🐓The Chicken Peach & the Zenithal Cowboy Fic Recs🐓🤠

Check the Top Gun Masterlist post for the latest updated version. 💕

Ao3 Authors:

WITHOUT PLOT* — Anonymous, Crueltether, Dalearden, Discosleaze, Earthangel_44, Elizabethgee, Ginnydear, Indybob, Irrlicht74, Lesbiseresin, Lovelybattle, Magdarko, Nimuetheseawitch, Popstar, Renai_chan, StoriesofmyLife, Tasteofoxidation, Teacupivy, UsedDivinity.

WITH PLOT *— Aphroditedany, BethAnnAngel, Earthangel_44, FlowersOnMyMind, ForMaverick, Fuddlewuddle, HalbarryTrashcan, Hangmanbradshaw, Ilarina, Indybob, Leavemeinthelibrary, Lesbiseresin, Local_troubled_writer, LoveMadeThemDoIt, Mackwinnon, Magdarko, SaintClaire, Teacupivy, Vannral, VarjoRuusu, Winterbucky.

*Purely subjective. + May include variations other than the targeted theme, so read the Ao3 Tags, Summary & Author Notes with caution! :)

PWP {🤠🐓} > Bosom!Hangman > The Perched Rooster & the Brooded Texan > Everywhere. Every-Fucking-Where.

‼️Art Visual‼️ ==> Cock-A-Doodle-Do by lowlife_symptoms {E}

/WITHOUT PLOT/

your body's writing checks (that I wanna cash) by StoriesofmyLife {E}

Sometimes, in a rare show of vulnerability, Bradley will let Jake take the reins. Or: After waking up from a nightmare, its Bradley’s turn in the cockpit, so to speak. Aka: the Jake tops Bradley fic that this fandom is severely lacking.

They Could Have Had That So Much Sooner by Irrlicht74 {E}

The kiss was deep and passionate, more tongue and teeth than real finesse, but it made Jake lose what little had been left of his mind after the first time Bradley had kissed him. Short and sweet by comparison, but intentional, saying yes to... Well, him, Jake Seresin. A relationship. Maybe more. It was... about fucking time, to be honest. They could have had that so much sooner if they hadn’t been such idiots about it.

the way we move by Anonymous {E}

"Oh, fuck. Holy shit." Bradley's words catch his sharper attention now, pulling him from the dizzying state of bliss he'd been losing himself in. He opens his eyes to see Bradley's head turned to the side, eyes widened and mouth slightly agape. Jake realizes he's looking at something, eyes laser-focused in. "What? What is it?" Jake asks as tries to follow his gaze. "It's..." Bradley breaths, and Jake's breath leaves him like a punch to the gut as his gaze finally reaches its end destination. As he sees what exactly it is that Bradley's looking at that's got him looking more heated than Jake's seen him in a while.

I’m in the mood, the rhythm is right, move to the music (we can roll all night) by StoriesofmyLife {E}

“You don’t see me for over a year,” Bradley pants, moaning when teeth bite at his neck, a hot tongue soothing the sting a moment later. “And that’s how you greet me?” ”You don’t seem to be too put out about it.” Jake drawls. “Least of all from where I’m sittin’.” He adds, rocking his hips upwards for emphasis. * Or what should've happened, in my opinion, after the bar scene ft. sex in the Bronco and Bradley (attempting) to be the ultimate power bottom.

You got me stuck on the thought of you by Popstar {E}

“Where’s your hat?” Javy asks as he comes to stand next to him. Jake’s eyes flick from Bradley to Javy, then he jerks his head towards Bradley but keeps his gaze on Javy. “Rooster just took it.” Javy’s eyebrows shoot up at that. “He came by and took your cowboy hat?” “Uh-hu.” “Does he know about the rule?” “I doubt he does.” Or the one where Bradley takes Jake’s cowboy hat.

The Octagon by Earthangel_44 {E}

Monday

“Unless you can’t mount me,” Bradley baits in a low voice, “unless you can’t fuck me like you think you can.” Bradley cups Jake through his sweats and squeezes. “Unless I need to find another alpha to fuck me and finish what you started.” AKA: Omega MMA fighter Bradley with Alpha Boxer Jake.

Tuesday

Bradley watches Jake fight for the first time since they’re together.

Whipped Cream by lovelybattle {E}

Bradley hummed, “you taste good.” He tasted like whipped cream, mixed with the spiced rum that Jake had been drinking along with some hot chocolate and a hint of cinnamon. All topped off with something that was just Jake, a taste that Bradley has come to love.

Take me to places I can't imagine by UsedDivinity {E}

Rooster gives off bottom vibes and he's gonna get bullied for it the fic

hold me close and make me yours by Anonymous {E}

It's completely unfair, really, how attractive one man in a worn-soft long-sleeved t-shirt and old gray sweatpants can look just silently reading a book, sinking into the cushions with his legs splayed out like that and looking so relaxed.

Santa, Baby by Renai_chan {E}

Jake puts on another costume for Bradley, and Bradley isn't quite sure about this one. On the one hand, Jake is sexy in all his forms. On the other hand, he's dressed as Santa.

I Tried to Read Between the Lines by Earthangel_44 {E}

Bradley finds himself between a wall and hard spot

spend it like it's gold by dalearden {E}

There’s something about the closeness, the primal need for skin on skin that keeps them hot for each other even now they’ve got rings on their fingers and are getting older every day."

just friends by ginnydear {E}

we passed "just friends" about 20 fucks ago.

you flipped a switch and now im on you by tasteofoxidation {E}

Jake knows how the night is going to play out when Bradleys first port of call is not to answer to the call of his name. Instead, he waves Nat off with a raise of his finger, goes to the bar, and doesn't look at Jake once.

old habits by crueltether {E}

“How long are you stationed here?” Bradley asks, toeing his shoes off. Jake sets his bottle down on the table just next to the door and shrugs a shoulder. “Long enough. You wanna keep talkin’ or do you wanna get what you really came all the way out here for?”

virgin beefcake bradley gets fingered by confident hunk by elizabethgee {E}

Bradley has never been with a man. Jake has. Bradley gets much more than he bargained for (but he's not complaining).

Cravin’ You by indybob {E}

Bradley has been feeling some type of way all day. His not-so-subtle hints to Jake all seem to have gone unnoticed. That is, until they get each other alone. Or: Bradley has been desperate for Jake all day, and Jake loves riling him up.

sugar on my tongue by discosleaze {E}

"pierced nipples taste like keys and baby, i'm coming home" - Bradley Bradshaw's pinned tweet, probably. Jake has a pierced nipple. Bradley is incapable of thinking about anything else.

I only pray (don’t fall away from me) by Anonymous {E}

Jake Seresin has an acquired taste. It comes in the form of the clubs most desired; Rooster. His wide doe eyes, ridiculous pornstache that fits him so perfectly, and his tan, toned body. And what Jakes wants, Jake gets.

relax by Anonymous {E}

austin interlude by lesbiseresin {E}

Long distance is something that isn’t easy to pull off. Some nights, Bradley missed him so much that he could feel his absence aching in his ribs, right behind the place where he’d cracked them during the mission with Maverick. Letters can only do so much. Phone calls make it more bearable, but nothing is better than having each other close. That’s how Bradley usually feels, anyways. He also usually likes Texas, but right now— “I wish we’d never come here.” (alternatively: jake & bradley finally sharing the domesticity they deserve)

I just want back in your head by nimuetheseawitch {E}

It's the faculty holiday party, and all Bradley wants is for his ex-husband to notice him. Once Jake does, the rest is history.

your DNA's bein' messed with my touch (can't beat us) by teacupivy {E}

“What do you need?” “Don’t know,” Bradley’s already shaking his head. “Just distract me.”

taste your beating heart by magdarko {E}

Wanna take you home and get my mouth on you, he’d said, wanna spread you out and make you scream for me, and Bradley had nodded desperately against his mouth. * In which Jake does... pretty much that

/WITH PLOT/

Top Gun: Maverick retold by Fuddlewuddle {E}

I'll ride in this life with you

Rooster is called back to Top Gun along with 11 other pilots for an important mission. Not only does he have to deal with the unresolved issues with Maverick now the Captain is going to be the one training them, but he's also been assigned to live with the one person who seemingly lives to infuriate him; Hangman. He'll be lucky if he even makes it to fly in the mission in the first place. (Or, my alternate take on the events of Top Gun: Maverick if Rooster was made to live with Hangman).

Promise me, Just hold my hand

It follows Rooster and Hangman's relationship over the months and years following them getting together.

fever started a long ago by vannral {M}

'Okay, Bradley has to admit, this wasn’t one of his brightest ideas. He should’ve stayed home, taken some ibuprofen and just sucked it up and passed out but no. He had to push it. And here he is, dealing with the consequences of his own stupidity.' In which Bradley gets sick, Jake gets jealous of a guy at the bar and takes care of Bradley. They’re both pining for each other and are even worse at hiding it.

A One Time Thing by ForMaverick {E}

“I’m fine. Stay the fuck where you are.” Bradley inches closer to the shower wall, the coolness of the wet tiles soothing against his burning skin. “Or better yet, leave.” “You don’t look so good—” “Fuck off.” Bradley closes his eyes again as another wave of pain and nausea sweeps through his body. “I’ll be fine, just leave me the fuck—” “Bradley.” That makes Bradley stop in mid-sentence. Jake using his first name is a rarity. ‘Rooster’ is familiar territory. A teasing ‘Bradshaw’ is not too uncommon either. Hell, sometimes that menace of a man will even drawl out the full ‘Lt. Bradley Bradshaw’ when he’s going for maximum asshattery. But just ‘Bradley’? That’s—that’s new. Bradley exhales shakily. “I’m asking this from the bottom of my heart and as politely as I possibly can right now: please fuck off.” “Are you—” Jake pauses. There’s a sharp inhale. “Dude, are you going into heat?”

the way we surrender (tender, no pretense) by vannral {E}

’”Well, Rooster, you’d better not be expectin’ any flowers, though, that’s not gonna happen.” A small, treacherous part under Bradley’s sternum falters, twists into knots. No. It’s a bad idea. You’re gonna get hurt in the long run. There’s a reason why you two are always at odds.’ In which Bradley and Jake agree to blow off steam together, all the while being in love with each other and convinced this is all they're able to have. It’s a train wreck from the start.

Paper Rings by Earthangel_44 {E}

Jake comes back from deployment and Bradley has waited too long.

if honesty means telling you the truth (I’m still in love with you) by local_troubled_writer {E}

Bradley “I got sent on a suicide mission” Bradshaw and Jake “and I took the ‘suicide’ part personally” Seresin. Aka, the one where they go on the impossible mission, somehow make it out alive and someone confessed some feelings.

this side of paradise by lesbiseresin {E}

“I don’t know if I should–” “Why shouldn’t you?” Natasha asks, completely matter-of-fact. It’s like she’s already got a read on his bullshit, which is both endearing and unnerving, because Bradley isn’t really all that used to people not letting him run away from his problems. Or in this case, a perfectly good chance to spend some time with his friends. “Most of us flew that mission. We were all trained to. We’re in this together. Only reason Bob’s not coming is because his mom would kill him if he didn’t come home for his grandma’s birthday.” Bradley runs his tongue along the inside of his cheek, but eventually can’t stop himself from asking— “What about Hangman?” (alternatively: seven thirty-something year olds holing up in a rich person’s vacation home for ten days ft. bradley trying to convince himself the crush he has on hangman is something he can easily get rid of)

Riding In Cars With Boys by SaintClaire {E}

He doesn’t know if it’s the alcohol or the anniversary or something else altogether, but he usually has to wring Bradley out for a lot longer than this before he gets him begging so easily. His pretty boy, normally so reluctant to admit what it is he wants and how he wants Jake to take it.

I will love you, dear, forever by FlowersOnMyMind {E}

"Do you have someone to take care of you?" Jake asks. "Are you offering, Seresin?" "Are you asking, Bradshaw?" or Jake and Bradley help each other through their ruts and heats. Jake pines.

Rolling Hills and Stormy Skies by VarjoRuusu {E}

Everyone thinks Jake Seresin is from Texas. Something he doesn't bother to correct, he just enjoys when his friends try and pin down exactly where his family ranch is, north, south, it's near Dallas, no it's near Austin. He sips his beer and lets them guess until the topic changes. He elbows Rooster in the side when the other man can't stop snickering because only Rooster knows Jake Seresin's ranch is in Montana. -Or, a tale of Bradley and Jake.

all night, I’ll riot with you by lesbiseresin {E}

Bradley would really like to say that Hangman is the one who started it. It being their return to petty squabbling, starting straight from the moment they first came face-to-face with each other for the first time in years. But to tell the truth, he’s not sure of how true that claim would be.

First Love/Late Spring by HalbarryTrashcan {E}

These memories are the scenes replaying in Bradley’s mind over and over again as his plane plummets towards the earth. He always thought when he died he would be thinking about his dad or his mom - hell, given his weird and fucked-up situation with Maverick even that could have been an option. This was the last thing he expected.

Take Me Home Tonight by indybob {E}

“You’re not a pilot, are you?” Jake asks. Bradley shakes his head, “No, I’m actually an aerospace engineer, but I work for the Navy at North Island. It’s how I know Natasha.” “I figured you weren’t a pilot,” Jake says, “I would have met you before, and I don’t think I could forget a face like that.” Jake gives him a suggestive look, and Bradley realizes he’s flirting. His heart jumps at the idea, and he feels the blood rush to his face. “Is it because of the mustache?” Bradley asks, trying to play it cool. “Not just,” Jake winks. Or: AU where Bradley is an aerospace engineer who is getting back into the dating scene after a breakup. He meets Jake at a bar with Phoenix, and the sparks start flying.

You Can Make My Wish Come True, If You Let Me Treasure You by hangmanbradshaw {E}

“Jake…you know you’re my family right? If we do this, we do it together. It’s not a Bradshaw only thing.” The man blinked at him and then smiled softly. “Okay. You’re my family too so if you’re doing this, I’m riding shotgun.” Bradley nodded and grinned brightly. “Think we’ll have to fight off any zombie founding fathers brought back to life?” “I’m putting $5 on at least two. I call dibs on fighting off Franklin though.” Or, The one where, fresh off their mummy adventure, Jake and Bradley steal the Declaration of Independence, make way too many mummy related jokes, and get married, all with a little help from their friends.

Everything You Lose is a Step You Take by mackwinnon {E}

A comment from Bob turns Jake's entire world on its axis. Or: Jake thought that Bradley was just really great at handling things, unflappable and steady. It's a good thing the Navy didn't pay Jake to think.

Won't somebody help me chase the shadows away? by LoveMadeThemDoIt {E}

Jake has no illusions he’ll come back from this mission. He’s the best fighter pilot the Navy has got on staff and this is not his ego talking. He’ll fly the mission, and it’ll be a shit show, because none of them have even managed to fly the simulation in the way they need to. In his weaker moments, Jake wonders if his father is how he’s gotten this gig.

Two Times The Love by Leavemeinthelibrary {E}

Maybe they were right.” Jake whispered. “When they said “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” “It wasn’t better” Bradley whispered softly, instinctively checking over his shoulder and then forced Jake to meet his gaze. “Trust me.” Bradley sighed. “It wasn’t easy for my dads or their time in the Navy or me. The policy was wrong, plain and simple and I was happy to see it go.” Jake swallowed hard in disbelief. “Your dads? As in more than one?”

jet blue skies by winterbucky {M}

Neither Hangman nor Rooster have any idea how come none of their friends know they're married, and have been for years. Sure, they're not the most affectionate in public, but they're smitten with each other, and to be honest, they went at it in way too many public spaces not to be caught. Apparently, their friends and Captain are just not that bright, which turns very interesting when Rooster becomes obsessed with getting Mavering and Iceman together. Somehow, through it all, neither Hangman nor Rooster realise their marriage is somehow a secret... or secret relationship hangster but their friends are just idiots + icemav getting together + a lot of fluff

I want to brainwash you into loving me forever by hangmanbradshaw {E}

“So…this is fucking weird and I have no clue what to say here.” Bradley smiled warmly and leaned his forearms against the table. “Don’t worry, Mav already filled me in, and I’ll do it.” Jake blinked. “You’ll do it?” “Yeah.” Bradley sat back with a nod. “You want to come out, right? If us appearing to be in a stable relationship will help, then I’m in.” Or, Jake Seresin has it all- fame, money, a NFL MVP trophy, a Super Bowl appearance, a lonely house, and a problem. He wants to come out on his own terms. Enter Bradley Bradshaw, the solution to said problem, or maybe, the beginning of a new problem. After all, you don't fall in love with your fake boyfriend. aka the Fake Dating NFL AU

hold me like a grudge by lesbiseresin {M}

Whatever truce he and Hangman might’ve temporarily made on the beach still wasn’t enough for Bradley to want to hang out with the guy in his free time. Except, here he is with the Bronco pulled into one of the spaces that line the stretch of sidewalk beside Hangman’s house. He can see Hangman’s truck sitting in the driveway and the light for the living room turned on inside. Hangman is here, and so is Bradley. For what exactly, he isn’t sure. He knows he’s searching for something. An answer, maybe. Figuring that out would require thinking, which isn’t what this is supposed to be about, but the uncertainty must show on his face. Hangman opens the door without him even having to knock, eyebrows raised and the obvious question quick to come. “What are you doing here, Bradshaw?” (alternatively: in which bradley takes the phrase ‘don’t think, just do’ a little too literally)

Messy by BethAnnAngel {E}

Jake gives Bradley what he wants in bed without having to ask for it. But a lack of communication has them both lost for a moment there.

top gun missing scenes by teacupivy {E}

the whole time, under the lights

Jake "Hangman" Seresin is unraveling the mystery that is Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw, one thread at a time, if it kills him. They've been fighting and fucking for years, and everything comes to a head when they're recalled to Top Gun for a special training detachment and find themselves competing to be team leader.

as he falls from his perch

Bradley Bradshaw has a knack for losing people, either watching them go or running them off. Jake Seresin seems to just keep coming back.

It's all white and azure blue to me by Aphroditedany {E}

Bradley, Jake, and an ever growing half Greek family. Or, when your boyfriend gets you all hot and bothered just by speaking in the language of his maternal family.

spend my time trying not to feel it by lesbiseresin {M}

“There was a flier for what their upcoming events are. You know Halloween is on Thursday.” Fanboy waits for him to nod to go on. “They’re doing something every night this week. Different themes on different nights.” Bradley raises his eyebrows. “Let me get this straight. You’re trying to drag me to a costume party?” (alternatively: halloween, a gay bar, jake, and bradley. what could possibly be complicated about that?)

cuz you know I love the players and you love the game by hangmanbradshaw {E}

Jake's the star quarterback, Bradley's the star baseball captain. They both like playing games, turns out they want the same prize. Or Bradley dresses as a cheerleader for the team and Jake hates him (except that he totally doesn't)

here i stand (i'm your man) by magdarko {M}

Ever since that first night back after the mission, when Jake had cornered him out behind the Hard Deck and grinned winningly before dropping to his knees and making Bradley see God, all Bradley’s wanted is to lay Jake out, map out that golden body, store up Jake’s gasps and moans and soft, bitten-off words. Bradley has a good thing going with Jake, but deep down, he wants more. So when everything he wanted drops into his lap, it's the best thing that's ever happened to him. Right?

Are you ready, are you ready for love? by Ilarina {E}

Bradley had, deep down, loved the dance between rivals that they had maintained for years, ever since the naval academy. After flying, there was nothing that made him feel more alive than talking to Jake and bickering with him about everything. He knew they were like two sides of the same coin - Bradley methodical and calm, Jake cocky and quick - and the awareness of how much he made Jake alive had come to him on a silver platter with a last-ditch save and a pair of bright green eyes smiling happily at him from a plane hovering next to him. No further demonstration was needed for Bradley to realize that Jake felt the same feelings that he, for years, had tried to bury under their jokes, the looks and the tension that enveloped them like a bubble. He had rushed to save him, disobeying a direct superior order and risking his career for him – he might as well have shouted that he loved him by writing it in the sky with airplane acrobatics. Well, he pretty much had done it. [Bradley and Jake are finally a couple. But there is something else that Bradley wants to give to the man he loves]

[jdah]

AU where suho got split into two when his powers got ‘sealed’

Just gonna list some of the ideas in bullet form OTL

when jinwoo sealed his son’s power and memories, he was unaware that he had instead split his son into two

part of suho’s power had separated from him and gained its own ego & consciousness

locked away from using his power, he is trapped in suho’s shadows, unable to do anything but just watch his and his human self’s surroundings

(i’m just gonna say that jinwoo can’t exactly detect shadow suho’s presence because he’s trapped in suho’s shadow, unable to release his mana + dad is scary nuh uh im staying here)

since suho’s powers weren’t fully closed off, he can still perceive the presence of other beings - mainly spirits

suho sometimes see figures in random places

their looks vary, there are ones that seem like humans, and ones that makes suho stop dead in his tracks and cry for his mother’s soothing presence

some of the figures are friendly, greeting him as he passes by and helping him when he is lost

but there are some that are hostile - once suho acknowledges them, they start rushing to him with their horrifying looks

this led to suho ignoring everything that seems abnormal - things that are not seen by others around him

and for some reason, the things never show up in his house, nor do they appear whenever his dad is near

(shadow suho oh so wants to protect his human self, seeing his struggles and feeling his emotions whenever they encounter an entity - he vows to protect suho the moment the seal to his powers is lifted)

——————

the things stopped showing when he reached middle school

(jinwoo started to test his son, so suho is constantly enveloped with his mana)

——————

when his parents disappeared, the things appeared again

without their father’s presence to protect suho, it’s up to his shadow to shoulder that duty

even though he was sealed away, he is still the son of the shadow monarch - especially now that they’re older and his human self has started training, the shadow also started to gain more control in his powers

(+ now that their father is far away, the seal in him also loosened)

one time suho wakes up with his body unable to move

thinking it was just one of those sleep paralysis, he ignores the thing standing beside his bed

and yet no matter what he does, he can’t wake up from this nightmare

suho realized too late that he’s not dreaming - that he’s actually awake and holy fuck there’s a terrifying figure crawling on top of him

wtf wtf whatthefuck i havent seen any of them since middle school why now why now??? - suho

before the thing could touch him, an extremely dark figure rose up from the sides of his bed, its presence startling the thing into escaping

suho:

suho inside: (…im gonna die... there is a monster under my bed)

(on the other hand, even though he can only release some of his mana, shadow suho is glad he can finally push the entities away)

——————

The seal further eases up when the gates started showing up

Especially when beru appeared before them - the presence of one of his father’s strongest soldier was the last push into breaking the seal

beru was so surprised to see a shadow soldier standing near suho when his sealed memories was being shown - only to realize that it wasn’t a soldier, but the young lord himself !! young lord why are you a shadow ?!?!?! how come i never knew of this TT

(beru wishes to teach the shadow young lord a lot of thing)

suho is so confused and disoriented because the seal being lifted means he became fully connected with shadow suho (albeit having its own ego)

(aka their feelings and thoughts are being transmitted to one another - since they are the same person with two bodies)

——————

beru and shadow suho: partying in the shadows while human suho is working his ass off

shadow suho giving himself eyes similar to beru’s

beru: (sobbing)

suho: im out i need to sleep (leaves Rest after ammut’s training)

ammut: (looks at shadow suho)

shadow suho: don’t

suho: (watching a sad drama)

suho: hmm…

shadow suho who is accompanying haein in another realm: (starts sobbing)

[gaoau]

Stir — Four Ounces of Water

A Mother's Instinct warnings — none. word count — 812

prev. — next.

As much as Yaku loved his best friend with all of his soul and wanted nothing more than to protect her from her own recklessness, sometimes he just wasn't willing to get up from his bed at three in the morning. When his stomach's grumbling forced him awake yet again, all he could do was groan quite loudly and slam his hand on his bedside table. He blindly tapped around the furniture to find his phone and unplugged it from its charger with a forceful tug.

The brightness of his screen—which was none—nearly destroyed his retinas as he lazily pressed on Illiterate Dumbass Ankle to call [Name]. She picked up not long after, although he could only hear her sniffling. "[Name], what's wrong? What's going on?"

"…How'd you know?" Her voice sounded dull and nasal, words slurred and drawn out. She sniffled again.

"I just did. Call it an instinct, I dunno. Tell me what's up."

"Well, um…" She cleared her throat, swallowed thickly, and groaned in what Yaku deemed as pain and discomfort. "Morisuke…" Yaku hummed to signal he was still listening. [Name] sniffled again. "Do you know how much four ounces are…?"

As much as Yaku utterly loved his best friend to death, sometimes she was simply too hard to follow. Not anyone he knew would be on the verge of tears at three in the morning while wondering how to measure four ounces. Of course, [Name] had stopped being like anyone else a long time ago—somewhere around that one instance when Kuroo joked about taking her out—yet she still managed to surprise him every day. It was endearing as it was concerning.

"I'm—Why do you want to know that? [Name], it's three AM, just why are you awake?"

"I have a sore throat… and it's really bothering me, so I… I thought I'd get something for it, but there's nothing home… So I asked Google and she said to do so—"

"Wait, wait."

"What…?"

"Who said?"

"Google…"

"I'm sorry, did you just call Google a she?"

"Morisuke, I'm gonna fucking throw myself off a toaster, this is not the moment…"

As much as [Name] was way too high on her own fever, the aspects of her personality he loved the most always remained. Her spontaneous retorts and ridiculously specific expressions certainly knew how to bring a smile to his face. Yaku's sigh mixed with a chuckle. "Go on."

"So yeah… Google said to do some salt gargles with, like… uh, four ounces of water…? But I don't know how to count ounces… I only know grams."

Yaku blinked, brows rising. "Why do you measure water in grams?"

"What do you do it with…? Seconds…?"

"Liters." He had to keep himself from laughing. Only precious [Name] could forget how to do something as simple as measuring water. She remained silent on the other side of the line, possibly trying to process the words she had just heard. The silence soon morphed into quiet sobs, and Yaku's stomach began eating itself up. "[Name], are you crying?"

[Name] sniffled again. "…I'm going back to bed… Maybe I'll ask dad to buy some lozenge tomorrow…" Among her groans of pain, Yaku could hear her bare feet shuffling over the tiles of her dining room. A bump followed suit, and [Name] hissed out some curses, "Holy absolute fuck, I ate the bitchass wall like a moronic asshole. Ugh, my throat…" Yaku could only chuckle while his friend coughed in distress.

As much as her choice of words became colorfully creative when the thermometer read numbers above 37°C, Yaku welcomed her strings of profanities with open arms. Maybe he was biased, but every last aspect of [Name] seemed entirely endearing in his eyes; be it a messy bundle of tangled hair and sweat swearing her lungs out, or an energetic kitten clinging to his back for dear life when she didn't want to use her own legs.

"…I still don't know how much four ounces are."

Yaku laughed, using his fist to muffle the sounds so as to not wake his parents up. "Don't worry about it. I'll drop by with some soup tomorrow, how does that sound?"

"Wonderful, I love you…"

"Rest up, [Name], good night."

[Name] hummed. "Good night, Morisuke…"

Yaku pulled his phone away from his ear and pressed down on the red button to end the call. He stared at his screen as it turned off on its own. Maybe he should start reciprocating her I love you's.

[yifftwiceplz]

do one every ten lines :)

🤝 for a headcanon about a connection with one of the receiver's mutual

big fan of dave (yifftwiceplz) and dave (dj-shitslot) basically looking in a mirror at each other at all times, younger self in awe of "older" self (its just that dj is a guardian / has more responsibility) and older self looking back at younger self fondly. thats the good shit. they dont make shit like that anymore but we do like you pass your 13 year old self on the street and your gut reaction is to light up and say oh my god i love you and your 13 year old self is like holy shit, the parts of myself i always wanted to shine through are right there plain as day, we made it

🌇 for a headcanon about morning- or evening rituals

dave wakes up in the afternoon and mostly just lounges around for a few hours. due to his audhd and dysfunction he cant do Anything in any day unless 1. it was preplanned a week in advance 2. he has his obligatory four hour Do Fuck All time. where mainly he smokes weed and listens to music loud enough you can hear it across the house (even though he's wearing headphones). and then once he feels like a person he'll have breakfast, shower, brush his teeth etc and focus on work

😡 for a headcanon about something that makes them angry

it's so hard to make dave angry. maybe it was easier in sburb but he's genuinely a very happy guy. i specifically decided to RP him after i saw that smile on daves face on the lilypad i thought. my guy can heal now. so mostly any time he gets mad it's probably just that he's overstimulated. which is nebulous and random and hard to predict and he tries to grit his teeth and not show it until he snaps, which isn't ideal but he hates looking sensitive or asking someone to back off him in terms of actual real true anger - i dont think he feels it. maybe for a brief moment if someones attacking his friends - only a moment because immediately following that he's got his body and sword between them

🚗 for a transportation-themed headcanon

this bitch cant drive. bro never drove; they lived at the top floor apartment in a walkable neighbourhood what good would a car do yknow? bro had the hoverboard for any long distance trips actually it would be so moe of him to start skating again maybe i should do that. but anyway mostly he walks everywhere he goes. he FREQUENTLY forgets he can fly because thats like... a super power to him. to be used during a fight. but a long fly doesnt work as well as a long walk to clear your head if you have attention issues and mildly dissociate. hed end up in tennessee

hc + 🚬 for a headcanon about a bad habit

oh boy definitely the drinking is his worst habit. it's well-managed but sometimes gets out of hand which is HARD to recognize because dave does not typo when he's drunk. he says roxy is either weak or faking it. striders in general are high dexterity builds so it doesn't matter if his eyes work or if he's coherent - them fingers are gonna find the keys. but he's also a fun drunk! he and roxy share that trait where you get a little booze in them and it's a little easier for them to laugh and open up and be confident in themselves so dave is really good at playing off being totally wasted with being totally charming. and it leads to people letting him drink more than he should quite frequently. luckily karkat isn't as fond of drinking as he is and has a keen eye for when dave is too far gone

hc + 🎥 for a film/tv-themed headcanon

dave is very passionate about film/tv even with his limited "real" education on it, dude just has an eye for it. good editing / camerawork tickles him to death like in a reality show where the interviewee is oblivious to something and there's a slow camera zoom in... got him seal-clapping and kicking his legs in glee part of the reason he's always so busy and tired (which is hard to see because he's always online and blogging casually - that's just part of his process and he just responds to a couple things at a time) is he's such a perfectionist with his own videos. he will not hire an editor. no one understands his vision.

[koffing-time]

🦐 - Weirdest Pokemon interaction you've ever had at work

The strangest battle i had at the gym involved a pair of plusle and minun. The trainers wanted to challenge the gym together and they were like, 10? So we allowed it. They absolutely WRECKED our gym.

They did not have any badges, so we went easy on them at first, but i was battling them as the third gym trainer (which is an exception as well) and even went as far as fighting with the Kalosian who is way too powerful for a 1st gymbadge challenge. She barely took a single thunder shock from minun before the plusle knocked her out.

According to the registration, these two were determined as around level 15 mind you (i do not remember the exact value). I'm still wondering how they are doing today. - Olivia

Damn Olivia your phone is giagiantic. holy shit. anyways. I also won't tell about the café, because this story is just too cute.

When i was still living with my parents and helping out at their farm, there was that time that the old Monarch Vespiquen died (from old age, nothing dramatic), and a new one had to emerge to take her place. So our current Monarch stepped up and evolved and it was a whole process.

The important part is: the Monarch Vespiquen is part Beedrill, which makes her incredibly powerful, very big and very fierce looking. So, my parents have 4 hives. each has a queen, but one of them is the "monarch", which means she coordinates not only her hive but also instructs the other queens on what to do with their hives. It's rare that such a dynamic forms, but it happens sometimes if there is an abundance of flowers and stuff in a condensed area.

So usually, whenever a new queen emerges from any hive, there is gonna be some quarrel between the established queens to see if she's worthy, ESPECIALLY if it's a new monarch. But not this time. The new hybrid-vespiquen was just... accepted. The others took a look at her and were like "yep, not gonna try anything with this girl".

So, she emerged, went on a small rampage and overthrew the old monarchs plans or something, fought of a bunch of wild ursaring trying to get the honey and shit like that. We all thought nothing in the world could stop her. We weren't even sure if we could get to the hives while she was reigning, because she was also a little bit wary of us and chased us away. Like, yeah sure, adjustment period and all that, but you never know with hybrids.

And then, like a month later it's the peak of summer, and there's a fucking thunderstorm. And i'm just there, sleeping in my bed, and suddenly, i wake up and hear something banging against my window. There's no trees near the house, if something like that happens, it HAS to be a pokémon. And yes, it was. Exodia, our Golurk, was trying to get my attention. I open the window, and it holds its hands to the window, and in there sits the most WET SOBBING NOODLE of a Vespiquen you've ever seen. The monarch. She's absolutely fucking terrified of the thunderstorm. The same girl who was accepted as the chosen one by 3 other vespiquen. The same girl who fought off 4 grown ass Ursaring just DAYS after she evolved. And she came to me to help her calm down. She spent the night with me and then returned home after the storm calmed down as if nothing ever happened.

[phantomdecibel]

Got donuts at the park. Was there for a good long while too, bout two hours of I ain’t mistaken. It’s beautiful.

I usually go there 4-6 but there’s this beauty to it in the later hours of the evening. 7-8, it is bathed with gold and people are there in droves. I usually push myself to walk but, it’s fun to just sit as well. Listen to my funny pathetic eldritch meow meow podcast as the sun sets.

It’s lovely. Like the opposite of the sunrise, which while I’m up early nowadays, it never feels the same as the first time…

The first time really was just like the park nowadays. I got up really early, on a school day, and in a show of pride I got dressed before everyone. It was a nice feeling of loneliness, solitude.

It is odd. In the early hours of the morning, everything is so… cool- blues showering your room. And in the afternoon, it’s all golds and yellows… but in practice, they’re practically inseparable. Nowadays, thought I wake up early often, there’s people to get in the way of my solitude. Guess it’s nice in its own way, but not like the first time.

The afternoon, though, always stays the same. I was struck with nostalgia the first time I’d gone out at this specific time, because it reminded me of-of all things, the fridays at an old park I used to go to! Might not seem strange, but it was specifically because there was always food trucks and lighting and all sorts of things if you knew where to look. There was nothing in my new park, nothing similar at all, except for that golden lighting, bringing to mind all those buried memories of scooters and bikes and parks and everything else that wasn’t there but felt like it was.

It was nice. If it wasn’t dangerous for me, I’d try to go out even later, but I’m sure my mother would have my head the second I’d even suggest it.

…..okay off topic but seriously. ur writing. is so fucking beautiful holy shit that was??? ?? ???? maybe I’m just too emotional rn but. that was just. really really amazing. ten outta ten. poetic

I’m glad you’re enjoying ur walks, and just hanging out outside in general. gotta agree – sometimes it’s nice to just… sit and exist. watch the world go by and relax

reminds me of the way light filters through the trees in the forest tbh. of watching the way the light reflects off the puddles. it’s not the same but. it sounds warm in a similar way

[fictionfixations]

Double Life Session 5 [Grian's POV]

Can I just.. talk about this for a second.

HOLY SHIT.

Okay. So I expected that they were going to die, but then they died TWICE- Can I also talk about how it wasn't even a minute in the video but I'm pretty sure it got all of us panicking at that HP bar, like holy-- Imagine they died from the cactus or stalactite [I'm pretty sure the cactus can get rid of your items though so that'd be awful]. That'd be a huge wake up call to the episode. Imagine they just completely died 3 times and was out of the series, they might've gotten a little close there. Just-- DAMN-

And not Grian just stealing Pearl's otherside disc and jukebox lmao and then coming back later for an allyship. Also Grian just kinda outed themselves by being in the WINDOW-- And also I actually can't understand why he couldn't get back in after getting out but maybe it's because jumping mechanics are weird over that and you kinda need to not? If that makes sense.

And then. So. They were HIDING- AND THEY JUST SO HAPPENED TO FIND oh i cant even remember the name's of whose army it was- AND ITS EVEN FUNNIER BUT AWFUL BECAUSE IT WAS A COINCIDENCE- i cant even be mad at them for saying something when the others were close enough and they could actually hear them talking, because WOAH. HOW COULD YOU NOT SAY SOMETHING WHEN YOUR SOULMATES ABOUT TO DIE- and then does die, AND HOLY SHIT THAT WAS A LOT OF ZOMBIES.

and then.. The TNT trap- bait? With the skulk sensor setting it off. THE POTENTIAL. I didn't even think about how skulk sensors could contribute to traps, and honestly I'm not actually sure how they work, but based off of Grian's hermitcraft video where he played around with the skulk sensors for like a jumpscare, they can work even when underground.

I'd imagine it's just a skulk sensor next to TNT or something like that, but does that mean you could do it underground, and then since the proximity mod alerts the skulk sensors with your voice, someone could assumedly just be talking to their viewers while walking down a path and then BOOM setting off a tnt trap and DYING. That'd probably be a little unfair though.

Honestly I thought they were going to shoot Scar off of the bridge though but honestly the tnt is worse. It also though shows what you can do with it and really makes it a threat.

and THEN theres the stalactite kill Grian did against Ren (and BigB), and WOAH. That was fucking sick. I mean I knew that stalactite does a LOT of damage depending on how far away it is from a player [even the intro did that when it almost killed Scar], but honestly I didn't actually expect it to get a kill. I don't think I even saw Ren coming when Grian broke it and it killed him.

W o a h .

I really don't think this season is going to last long. Especially when there are soulmates who share your lives. while it's beneficial since you could be out getting hurt and your soulmates somewhere else and eating for you so your hp goes back up, it also backfires because if your soulmate dies, you die too, and then it just almost doubles how easily it can be to get everyone to red, aka take session 4 for example. I think it'd be better to just have one soulmate go out at a time while another is in a safe place and watching the hp bar carefully to heal you, since if you both were to go it'd make you take double damage, but I also do understand that that can get boring, not to mention could be a bad idea in some cases, and there also isn't a way for you to speak to your soulmate through some soul bond or whatever unless you're near them so you can talk with proximity.

This session really.. showed how dangerous it is, honestly, and how easy it is to die. It was a real big eye opener.

also i completely forgot to mention this but jimmy is cursed. canon.

Quote: "That's the best thing I've ever done! -..Except maybe get married." -Grian sometime after killing Ren

[pesterloglog]

Jade Harley, Karkat Vantas, Dave Strider

Candy, page 9

JADE: arent you guys happy to get out of the house for once!!!

KARKAT: NO ACTUALLY.

KARKAT: I DON’T GET WHAT’S SO GREAT ABOUT IT. I CAN SEE THE SAME BULLSHIT FROM THE COMFORT OF MY HOUSE.

KARKAT: CHECK IT OUT. A GIANT BILLBOARD OF JAKE ENGLISH COMPLETE WITH A GYRATING MECHANICAL ASS.

KARKAT: WHAT A TOTALLY NECESSARY THING TO SHOVE RIGHT INTO MY GANDER BULBS.

KARKAT: DEFINITELY COULDN’T HAVE LIVED WITHOUT SEEING THAT.

DAVE: dude ok dont pretend you dont spend at least 15% of your day ogling jakes ass on television anyway

DAVE: in fact youre doing it right now

KARKAT: WELL I CAN’T HELP IT, DAVE, IT’S RIGHT FUCKING THERE.

KARKAT: OH MY GOD, ARE THE MECHANICAL GLUTES ON THAT BILLBOARD ACTUALLY PADDED WITH PLUSH TO MAKE THEM MORE LIFELIKE?

DAVE: yeah see crazed fans kept climbing the billboards to cop a feel so dirk designed the second run of them to have an accurate recreation of jakes butt density

KARKAT: HE DID WHAT?

DAVE: its wild dude its like exactly spot on

KARKAT: WAIT

KARKAT: HOLY FUCK, HAVE YOU ACTUALLY TOUCHED JAKE’S ASS???

DAVE: i mean not necessarily on purpose but who hasnt

DAVE: like i wouldnt say its so much that i touched his ass its more like his ass copped a feel of my sweaty palm one time and my poor fingers havent been the same since

DAVE: sometimes i wake up from a fevered sleep and find my reluctant groping hand huddled in the corner of my bed all shaking and shit

DAVE: the mind represses but the body remembers

DAVE: ive thought about taking my hand to a psychologist but i dont think the little guy is ready to talk about it yet

DAVE: anyway have you seriously never touched it

KARKAT: I HAVEN’T!

DAVE: not even by accident like brushing by in a crowded elevator

KARKAT: NO

KARKAT: I DON’T SPEND A LOT OF TIME STANDING IN ELEVATORS WITH JAKE FUCKING ENGLISH, OR FOR THAT MATTER, DOING MUCH OF ANYTHING WITH THE IDIOT, AS YOU WELL KNOW.

DAVE: what im hearing is youve tragically never touched his ass and its a bit of a sore subject with you

DAVE: is that why youre so obsessed with it

KARKAT: ?????

DAVE: do you wanna touch it

DAVE: shit can be arranged my dude

DAVE: here ill text dirk right now i bet he can pencil you in to cop a feel sometime next week

KARKAT: NO I DON’T WANT TO. PUT YOUR PHONE THE FUCK AWAY.

KARKAT: WE ARE NEVER HAVING A PLAYDATE WITH DIRK AND JAKE AGAIN, ESPECIALLY NOT ONE ARRANGED FOR THE EXPRESS PURPOSE OF ASSAULTING ONE OF THEM.

DAVE: dude jake lives for this shit

DAVE: its not assault if his ass is begging for it

DAVE: wait wow that sounded bad

DAVE: lets strike that one from the record

DAVE: anyway its no problem he literally will be delighted to hear you want to spend time with him for some insane reason

KARKAT: STOP TEXTING RIGHT NOW!!!

JADE: hey can we focus here?

JADE: jakes ass isnt the one you two should be talking about right now

KARKAT: OH MY GOD, JADE DO YOU EVER FUCKING STOP.

KARKAT: I DON’T CARE ABOUT YOUR ASS EITHER.

KARKAT: I’VE SEEN IT ABOUT AS MANY TIMES AS I’VE SEEN JAKE’S. THE NOVELTY HAS WORN OFF, ASSUMING THERE EVEN WAS MUCH TO BEGIN WITH.

JADE: thats NOT what im talking about...

DAVE: jade

DAVE: cmon what are you...

JADE: this is a DATE dummies!

KARKAT: NO, STOP!

DAVE: dude

JADE: no..... let me.... show you....

JADE: you have to... turn it... flipwise!

JADE: see i dont mind at all!

JADE: i would never try to break up what you two have.... im just trying to make it BETTER!

JADE: see isnt this perfect?

JADE: it could be like this all the time you know... the three of us in every combination

JADE: or whatever combinations you two are comfortable with

JADE: heheheheh.... positions too!!!

KARKAT: AUGH! DON’T DO THAT!

KARKAT: YOU KNOW I FUCKING HATE THAT!

JADE: dont worry karkat theres nothing to be scared of...

JADE: well take care of you... right dave?

KARKAT: OKAY THAT IS IT.

KARKAT: I AM DRAWING A FUCKING LINE IN THE SAND RIGHT HERE AND NOW, JADE. YOU WILL CEASE THIS ENDLESS VIOLATION OF MY PERSON WITH YOUR MOUTH, FINGERS, AND OCCASIONALLY, YOUR FUCKING TAIL.

KARKAT: I AM NOT A PIECE OF MEAT THAT YOU CAN BRUTALLY AND VICIOUSLY MOLEST WHENEVER YOU’RE BORED.

JADE: brutally and viciously?????

JADE: :\

KARKAT: ALRIGHT, IT’S POSSIBLE I’M OVERREACTING. BUT THAT’S MY *FUCKING RIGHT* AS A FREE AND AUTONOMOUS PERSON WITH A CERTAIN DEGREE OF FUNDAMENTAL BODILY SOVEREIGNTY ENDOWED TO HIM BY THE GODS OF *MOTHER FUCKING CONSENT*.

DAVE: (mm hm)

JADE: sigh...

KARKAT: BUT I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I’M GETTING AT HERE, WHICH IS THAT I WANT YOU TO STOP DOING SHIT LIKE KISSING ME WITHOUT ASKING PERMISSION FIRST.

JADE: karkat youre absolutely right

JADE: and i couldnt agree more with you on issues of consent as everyone whos gotten to know me well enough is perfectly aware

JADE: BUT

JADE: im not the one who kissed you silly.....

KARKAT: WHA...?

JADE: it was.......DAVE!!!!!

DAVE: i what

JADE: you kissed karkat! finally!!!

DAVE: n

DAVE: no

DAVE: no i didnt

DAVE: why would i...

DAVE: i have no idea what youre talking about

DAVE: i would never

DAVE: youre wack jade im not

JADE: wack????

DAVE: why would i kiss karkat ive never even once thought about kissing karkat

DAVE: how would you even fucking do it

DAVE: hes so

DAVE: petite

KARKAT: I’M WHAT?!

DAVE: youre like

DAVE: ok yeah im gonna admit that was a weird thing to say and has got dick all to do with your kissability

KARKAT: GOD DAMN IT.

KARKAT: CAN WE STOP TALKING ABOUT THIS YET??

DAVE: what i mean is like

DAVE: how could somebody kiss this guy

DAVE: like anybody

DAVE: when his teeth are so

KARKAT: WHEN MY TEETH ARE *FUCKING WHAT*?!

DAVE: dude

DAVE: theyre just

DAVE: like theyre huge and

DAVE: not always in your mouth

DAVE: so like how would a guy get his tongue in there

KARKAT: TONGUE??????????

DAVE: youd have to be really careful to like

DAVE: i mean if you were INTENDING to kiss karkat

DAVE: i mean its not like ive put any thought into this

DAVE: but youd have to be so careful like just so totally gentle in your approach to it because hes so

KARKAT: ENOUGH!

KARKAT: CEASE! I COMMAND YOU!

DAVE: you know

DAVE: like this

DAVE: idk im just spitballing and this is literally the first time the thought has like

DAVE: EVER popped in my head?

DAVE: but upon earnest reflection i dunno if im up to the task

DAVE: um

DAVE: im not

DAVE: i was never

DAVE: were not

DAVE: actually ya know what

DAVE: i dont have time for this

DAVE: peace dudes

JADE: wow RUDE!

JADE: siiigh. i forget sometimes how immature dave can be

JADE: well karkat i guess its just us.... do you still wanna go split a plateau of grub spaghetti at the noodle barn?

KARKAT: AH!! FUCK!!!

KARKAT: JADE!!

KARKAT: WOULD!

KARKAT: YOU!

KARKAT: FUCK! OUCH!

KARKAT: A LITTLE!

KARKAT: HELP?!

KARKAT: MAYBE?

KARKAT: AAUUUUGH!

KARKAT: FOR THE RECORD

KARKAT: JUST SO WE’RE BOTH CLEAR

KARKAT: THIS IS WHY I HATE LEAVING THE *FUCKING HOUSE*!!!!!!!

JADE: well i guess im eating grub spaghetti alone

JADE: *again*!!!

[theredofoctober]

OUROBOROS— DEAD RINGERS FIC PART TWO

Cross posted from ao3

Pairing: Beverly and Elliot Mantle

Synopsis: The sisters reconnect in the most intimate manner...

TW: incest, abusive relationships

---

Chapter Two: Elliot

I can't believe it. She lets me in. She lets me in.

I thought she might leave me out there forever, a pariah on the doorstep, waking the neighbours with my strident want of her, but she admits me into the house with the abrupt ecstasy of a diver suckling their first gasp of air at the surface, or of a child cut from the smothering membrane of its caul; I feel the pressure of Beverly's held breath as the door swings back and her arms close about me, and I think, "Fuck. This is where I'm meant to be."

There's no 'we' between me and my sister; there never was, only I.

She smells like fading perfume, and freshly smoked cigarettes, and the comforting cleanliness of soaped skin underneath it all. Beverly, my baby sister, is trembling, and silent, and full of tears.

I kiss and kiss her face as though to memorise every unforgettable atom of it, as though I don't see the image of her in mirrors and windows every day of my life. My sister tastes of powder and the salt of her tears, then my mouth is on hers and all I think of is heat, whether the comfort of the womb, or of thighs closed over a hand, or of coming home across the hearth—

I don't know. I don't know.

I do.

The chaos inside me is right, when our lips join, made clean as holy fucking absolution. I burst into a crazy sort of mirth at the sheer bloody joy of it, and then Beverly's laughing too, softening in the release of it, and the noise vibrates through me like the hum of the centre's machines.

I kiss her again, and this time Beverly hesitates at the intensity, at what it means, although she must surely feel as I feel, to gaze at me with so much want in her shy and lovely eyes.

"I wasn't even half a person without you," I whisper, into her ear. "Barely so much as a cell. I couldn't cope."

"Nor could I," says Beverly, still laughing, and weakly thumbs the tears from her cheeks. "I've been... clinging on. I don't know how. Like trying to breathe without lungs, I often think of it."

I was right in my perception of her at the doorway, then, the image of her sinking with me down into the bitter blue.

"Precisely, sister," I say, and kiss the corner of her mouth so that she twitches delightfully, bashful, and yet assured as she warms to me and my touch, as though we'd never been apart.

"Anyway," I say. "I brought wine. It's not shit. Quite excellent, actually. A gift from one of the mothers. She may or may not have thought that I was you."

Beverly takes me through to the lounge, turning back to glance at me from time to time, sometimes with guilt, and always with near-disbelief that I exist, in her house, rather than dissipating like foam, like one of her visions, a waking dream; I squeeze her hand to assure her, to anchor her, to let her know that I am fucking here.

I watch Beverly pour wine as carefully as the sacrament, the lines on her hands so dear to me that I long to cross the room and kiss them, but I only sprawl along the couch, thinking how Genevieve would rankle at the sight of me where she fucks my sister into the seat cushions.

"You shouldn't be here," Beverly mutters, though I don't believe she truly means it for a single fickle minute. "But I'm glad you came. I've thought about you so much it's like I see you all the time."

"You do, in a way," I say, playfully. "Besides, no matter where we are we're still with each other. Sometimes it feels like you're filling me up inside, possessing me, like a ghost. Or I wish you were. Amounts to pretty much the same thing."

"A ghost," Beverly repeats, and shudders, though she's neither religious, nor particularly superstitious.

"Topping me up with all your spectacular ether," I add, merrily, and Bev sits down beside me with the wine, and then we talk for hours, holding one another’s hands, our fingers clasped tight.

I feed from her every little look and gesture, the softness of her lips against the wine glass, which she drinks slowly while eyeing my own, depleting and replenishing in rapid frequency as the minutes pass.

Beverly, Beverly, Beverly, with her pert, precious mouth. I want to kiss her. The pink of her lips makes me think of something else.

Musing about touching her feels as natural as the urge to finish myself, or to chase pleasure in the lap of a man— more natural than either, in fact, being that we are the dual vessels of a soul. I start to think about the pale vase of skin at the throat of her sensible shirt and her breasts underneath, the sliver of wet warmth under her soft slacks that begs for my knuckles to the hilt of it.

"Ellie?" asks my sister, blinking nervously.

I set down my glass and lean in to take her face in my hands, so heated, and silken, and gently flushed with wine.

"Baby sister," I say, and my lips are on hers again, our tongues conjoined, slick slithers of twin heat in the hollows of our yearning mouths; we need each other, need, need, grasping and panting and guttering like the dying in our frantic desperation.

My lips are on her neck, and clavicle; I unfasten her stiff, stupid shirt, losing my patience and ripping at the buttons with my teeth in a snatching and tender hunger.

"Elliot!" cries Beverly, pushing at my shoulders. "What are you doing?"

I raise my head and gaze into the worried darkness of her eyes.

"You know what I'm doing," I say. "We want this. You and I. Don't we? Haven't you had the same dreams?"

Beverly considers for only a moment before sinking back into the sofa cushions, a sigh spiralling from her like autumn leaves loose on the wind.

"I've dreamt of it," she murmurs. "But I never thought we... could."

"We can do anything we fucking want," I reply, and tug the blouse free of her arms, slip off the plain, professional bra, which has left cruel grooves upon her skin, and kiss the marks the bones have cut under her breasts, the imprint of the lace on her nipples, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, all of it, all of her.

All the time I feel white bolts of arousal open me like the beginning of the world, a birth in cosmic brilliance out of the emptiness and the dark. I straddle my sister at the waist and grind against her in slow, deep rolls as I touch and suck each of inch of her from mouth to breast, feeling her squirming, needing, airless beneath me, her hands catching in my hair as she whimpers and moans my name.

"Elliot..."

"Yes, my darling."

She is so like me as I unbutton her trousers and tug them down, leg after leg; she pulls at me and demands that I have her, greedy with a mad and tender passion. When I mouth her sodden cunt through her underwear she bites back a gorgeous little scream, and I have to shove the light cotton aside and thrust my fingers within her, and lash my tongue to her clitoris and take what I have so achingly wanted.

She tastes like me. She is me.

Beverly. Elliot.

Beverly.

[malamelodies]

Hello Precious

oh sweetheart,

what a weird whirlwind this life has been. I am presently in San Diego, finding myself constantly looking around thinking, how the fuck did I get here? what lead me to this moment, and I have moments where I;m fucking scared I won't be able to leave. that I will somehow be stuck here for a time too long. that in my 'prime' I'm actually wasting away my life.

I had this thought today: the two times I had the most money I've ever had: I was with Jedidiah, and I immediately spent it all. I spent it all. and the moments it was spent on was beautiful, but it was fleeting. I didn't invest. I understand that I was leaning into it. over 100% and the way I thought I was never going to get over greg... and I haven't in ways... I'm terrified that Jedidiah has cost me my ability to love whole heartedly.

Yes ross should have been a rebound... but I really really loved the way we spoke to each other. and when it was good, it was really really sweet. I loved laying in bed with him and just laughing. and enjoying each other.

I just know that I want monetary abundance. a family and to be in a place that is close to the ocean and its a place that I love absolutely love. in all aspects and beyond.

right now I'm waking up looking around asking how I got here in a bewildered and sad state. I'm excited to wake up and look around and think 'holy fuck how did I get here?!' with such excitement and love and appreciation.

now in the mean time, how do I gain that perspective where I'm at?

I think the first thing is routine. physical routine.

I need to not think about what has happened in the past or the future for the matter and just be here. in this moment. if font of public square. finding my flow. what can my flow be.

Monday: therapy, bike, yoga (work trade)

Tuesday: run with Moki. Gym.

Wednesday: Bike ride with Moki. Gym. Work at coffee house.

Thursday: Mom/swim. Open Gym Aerial. Yoga. (dance?)

Friday: Morning run with Moki. work (dance?)

Saturday: Work (maybe bring bike?)

Sunday: If I'm working in the evening, I think it would be really nice to go to the farmers market.

and then there is community outreach as well as finding another job that is easy is cash flow. I would like to find a restaurant and honestly, any that are in this area could be pretty sweet. Maybe look around in La Mesa or Lemon Grove or Normal Heights. Something a little more funky. I fell into Coasterra thinking that the view would ensure things. and it did. but being in kitchen. meh. and this is where I need to stop and listen. Universe. How do you want me to show up in this world at this time? Give me guidance to how I can best serve you.

Its funny... on the way over to wherever I was going to write this, I was thinking that I was going to write about what has happened the last 2... no 3 years of my life.

Starting April 19, 2020. I'm pretty sure I left for Maui sometime in May. and up until that moment. I remember being with Cary and thinking 'fuck this is the end of a chapter and its fucking beautiful'. but I was also craving to be on island. it was calling to me SO LOUDLY. then the money that was given to me through the government. and how active we were. there was literally nothing else we could do but work out. and garden. and be naked and spend more time with the environment around us.

and now. here. let it be a challenge. I know there are awesome people out here. I see it. I see moments of it. and I also see how my eyes get wider looking at different non profits.

I fucking hate jamul. my god. its so dry and hot and rattle snakes are real. I don't want them around. I don't like them.

so things for future online therapy of Tumblr.... 1. saga of 2020 to present.

2. find that job. maybe Carter, just maybe, you were brought here for a reason. and rather than trying to rush out or itch at the discomfort. remember that this is a beautiful place and there is hope to find that thriving community and purpose that I look for anywhere and everywhere I go.

I don't know if it's because things are more spaced out here, but I just want to ground into one neighborhood and really lean into it.

not to mention today is eclipse day. how to womynifest the things I desire and adore. and the kind ways of genuine connection with all types of people is something that I love. people do seem a little more normal and interesting. maybe la mesa is the starting point of normalcy. I fucking hate jamul. its so silly. more so I dont hate jamul, because actually going inland with all the feed places; I'm actually wondering how I missed out. there is a whole journey of farm life, and I was just far enough away.

I literally get disgusted when I think about how my parents live. EVERY TIME I eat with my parents, or more so, my parents food; I get sick. I genuinely get sick. I feel weird in my tummy and it just isn't fun.

so, baby girl. lets take it one step at a time. literally now and into the evening.

play by play.. because I find that my mind gets a little too whirly so lets write it down. even when I had a moment last night right before bed and I thought 'oh yeah I didn't do those things I thought about' and I didn't do those things because I'm not writing it down. they need to be written down in order for the tiniest chance they will be remembered and executed.

so now, as we wrap up this journal reflection, I would like to take out the envelopes and see what I need to schedule.

lets actually take a moment and do it right meow.

breast exam: presently on hold for

Dermatology: on the 24th I think it's at 1?

I need blood test, which I'm not seeing so I will need to drive down there (maybe tomorrow) (or Friday) to sign papers. so fucking stupid.

I think the best thing is to call them tomorrow.

then I'm going to go pee and put away my things and kindly walk up and down this street. maybe change, actually. and do I want to go down to kava? I think it could be fun. then come home. love up and have some bone broth and hangs out with parents for a moment.

THEN. upstairs music. candle. intention. <3

okay I like this.

[problematickinconfessions1]

This is so awkward for me to talk about, but a new memory surfaced recently and it's been hard for me to wrap my head around it. I was very close to my neighbor's kid. He was a bright young man, mischievous, sweet. He was a bit of a handful sometimes and his parents would just.. Dump him with me. I didn't see this as a problem, as I've done this with Maggie and even occasionally Lisa. Babysitting was a-okay with me. They were all very well behaved and I've had no problems with them.

Well, except for Bart. He was the one I was left with the most. Most of the time it was just us. Alone. I knew he had a small crush on me, I could feel his eyes burning into me whenever I was out gardening, he wasn't slick, but I never knew he'd make a move on me. I thought he knew better.

One of the times I had him over at my place for the night he was just acting extra strange. I didn't know what was wrong with him until it was the middle of the night. He lied his way into laying in bed with me, he said he had a nightmare. I could see right through him, but I didn't say anything because who cares? Whatever helps you sleep at night. He laid right beside me, and we were practically spooning at this point. He just kept on getting closer until he was eventually grinding into me. I was too tired to tell him to stop, it was almost 2am and I was loopy from the lack of sleep. It just.. Felt too good. I knew it was wrong, I loathe myself for not stopping this from happening, but the little bastard just knew all of my weaknesses. I was way too vulnerable for him. We both eventually fell asleep curled up like this and I remember just waking up, and having the most gut-wrenching "HOLY FUCKING SHIT" moment. The guilt was crushing me. Bart on the other hand, just went about his day. He just woke up, said goodmorning, and went downstairs.

We never brought it up after it happened, so I'm not sure if anyone else found out about this encounter, but I really hope nobody did. I am so ashamed about this and I would actually die if anyone tried to confront me about this.

Homer, if you see this, uhm. Sorry for almost fucking your son? I guess?

-Ned Flanders (this is so embarrassing but if I even mentioned this on my main I'd get TORN APART by my canonmates.)

Im internally still a kid (like in a headspace little sense) and even when I was physically a kid this life I was into adult men, especially teachers lmao, so I get this very well actually. Im not saying "Oh yes this is a good thing there is no problems with this." But adolescents be horny and we don't really care much about age as much as adults do, because theres less restrictions on minors, less consequences. Now as a physical adult I care about these things, but back then I didn't. Its also totally possible for a minor to sexually exploit an adult, and people like to pretend otherwise. Lots of people have abusers/assaulters younger then them. Just because someone is a minor doesn't mean they can't use that to their advantage and hurt others by doing so. *Obviously as adults theres more responsibility to do the right thing*, but that doesn't mean you can't feel like you were hurt in some way by those actions. An adults emotions and comfort in a sexual setting are also important. Also its a past life, you can't do anything about it now. I have people in my system who committed flat out atrocities, and you just have to move on. You shouldn't drown in guilt for your mistakes or feelings in another life. You regret this, and I think that shows you care about doing the right thing and not hurting others, and I think thats whats important in the context of a past life. I dont think you should define yourself by it.

[thatonegreyghost]

It finally happened it stopped it did you see that it finally stopped me there is a word count holy shit I must keep going I must push forward at least another thirty minutes of nonsensical dialogue directed specifically at you my dear friend my dearest dear friend my crow looking ass mother fucking bestie my bro my homie my platonic sugar nugget you know I have to do this again I’ve been met with a challenge and now that I can see there is a ending oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy I must reach the end I must defeat tumblr and it’s word limit to the ask box I just gotta do it again I have to reach it I really do okay this is my life now I’m laying in bed in silence its 4:29 am on a Saturday and you’re going to wake up soon and realize what a terrible idea it was befriending me in kindergarten I’m gonna regret you ever having friends at that age I’m gonna make you wish a mutual irl friend of our’s is your real best friend but maybe that won’t happen maybe you’re gonna see this and think how March thinks about me at 4:31 am on a Saturday in total silence with bags of chips at the foot of their bed did you know that I have multiple bags of chips just laying on my bed with me I have multiple bags of chips one of them is spicy nacho Doritos and the other is some sort of cheesy rice chip cracker thing I don’t remember what they’re called but they looked interesting and I also have a can of these like fry like chips that literally are just the very crunchy fries at the bottom of the bag of fries you order from a fast food place and I have all of these chips in my room with me on my bed only two of them are actually open and those two are almost finished I bet you can figure out which ones are the ones I’ve almost finished the third is completely unopened I thought they were interesting and looked tasty and I just never opened it and now that it’s 4:33 am on a Saturday morning while the sun has not risen yet those chips really don’t sound appetizing and I honestly wouldn’t have taken these chips if the raspberry mini cake was still out in my kitchen I saved that from the fourth and it was so good but so sweet because it’s raspberry and you know I fucking love cakes like I used to say that brownies are my favorite dessert but now I think it’s cake because really good store bought cakes have their really nice airiness to it like it’s sweet but not very and it’s airy so you can eat a lot and it’s bread so it’s always a win you know me and my bread obsession it’s the best comfort food and damn the calories I fucking love bread it’s the best food and you should know that I know this because I’m always gonna say this until I die one day because it’s bound to happen eventually and if I die in a bread related incident I will not be surprised it’s getting to that point again where I’m like what the fuck am I still typing for like good thing autocorrect is enabled or else this would be totally ineligible because like I’m writing the words correctly but every now and then I go to fast and I just press the wrong button because the keypad is really short like w keeps showing up for a that thing v was typed instead of g and really this would just be a mess if I did rely on autocorrect to fix my mistakes at 4:40 am on a Saturday morning while the sun isn’t up yet and everyone who has a life is sleeping right now I’m not sure what egged me on to do this now I accidentally wrote ti instead of to there and autocorrect did not stop me so I apologize for any ti instead of to errors in here honestly I bet I’ve used the wrong to at some point here like maybe I was suppose to use too really and I just didn’t and anyone who’s an English and grammar nerd like I am is screaming right now looking at this mess how tell me this isn’t how the brain just works well I bet if you did this it would be way more incoherent but still you know like this is really fun I encourage you to get me back sometime and just write the first things that are on your mind in a stream of consciousness in fact I challenge anyone who’s gotten this far to do this with anyone who doesn’t

I'm so confused rn

[gaoau]

Stir — Night Study Session

A Mother's Instinct note — i did the math. with balconies having an average height of 2.3m and yakus jumping reach being 3.1m and the mandatory minimum height of a railing being 90cm, its technically possible for yaku to run up and reach a hand leaning over the railing of a balcony. warnings — none. word count — 1.4k

prev. — next.

The ungodly hours of the night were, for some annoying reason, [Name]'s favorite moments to burst into tears. Yaku had come to know this all too well, for he was unfairly doomed to suffer alongside her. His eyes would snap open to the utter darkness of the eigengrau engulfing his room, and then he'd realize his stomach was doing backflips. The digital clock on his bedside table would read times between two o'clock and half an hour past four—sometimes a little over one o'clock on a good night.

His first response was always to groan quite loudly, growling to himself words of [Name], what the actual fuck are you doing? After contemplating his options for a couple minutes, he would unplug his phone from its charger and wince at the brightness of his dull screen. More often than not, he'd find his notification bar entirely flooded with texts from Illiterate Dumbass Ankle—contact name courtesy of [Name] herself. When he opened the chat, the count of unread messages stood above fifteen every single time. Yaku had to scroll through pictures of her crying, red face and an impressive amount of exclamation points to figure out what was going on.

[Name]'s reasons for crying in the middle of the night ranged from the death of her favorite character in a series she was watching, to accidentally stepping on her cat's tail as she went to the kitchen for a snack, to getting startled because she thought she'd seen a humanoid figure standing on her backyard, to finally being able to understand that one math problem she'd been stuck on for forever. The amount of times Yaku had fallen asleep after reading text messages saying Holy shit I'll drop out and become a stripper I have never seen a number in my entire life only to wake up to [Name] challenging Albert Einstein to a trigonometry battle was insane—it happened so frequently that he was starting to get worried.

There were times, however, that his message app was left completely blank and untouched. Every once in a while, Yaku would jolt awake because of his stomach stirring itself up, pestering him to check on [Name] since she was most likely crying her eyes out. But when he pressed the power button on his phone and found no new messages at all, his stomach would become an empty void of nothingness as it tried to eat itself. Those were the times he would get genuinely worried, wondering what was making [Name] cry at night and why she wasn't telling him as she usually did.

Yaku sat up on his bed, the springs of his mattress creaking beneath him. His fingers swiped rapidly across his phone's screen and in no time he had sent three concerned messages in the span of five seconds. He patiently awaited a response, knowing full well [Name] kept her phone by her side every waking moment of her days. When a few minutes passed and his mess of a friend had yet to even read the messages, Yaku sighed resignedly.

He was quick to throw on a hoodie, grab his keys and wallet, and sneak out the window without waking up his parents. He knew [Name]'s favorite treats for a stressful night—whichever the reason for that stress was—and buying them presented no trouble. Maybe he could throw in some fruit for a smoothie and two cans of whipped cream to see who could down theirs first.

It was well past three o'clock when [Name] jumped at the sound of tapping on her window. An irregular rhythm, with very irregular pauses in-between—ah, Yaku was throwing rocks at her window again, wasn't he? Glancing with furrowed brows at her clock, [Name] forced herself to stand from her chair and draw her curtains open.

Effectively, ready in position to fling yet another pebble at her window, Yaku stood on the street, staring up with squinted eyes. His face lit up instantly upon seeing [Name] walk out her balcony, goosebumps erupting on her skin at the change in temperature. He retrieved his plastic bag from the ground and held it safely between his teeth.

[Name] leaned over the railing, stretching out her dominant arm out of habit—after her parents locked their ladder away, these two had to improvise. With a small run-up, Yaku leaped into the air and clasped his hand around [Name]'s forearm. "Goodness fucking gracious, Morisuke, what are you doing here?" [Name] grunted as she struggled to pull her friend onto safe land without falling over. "I'm also trying to study, so, yeah… You know…?"

Yaku shot her a quick thanks while ushering her back into her room, scolding her for heading out into the cold without a coat and barefoot. He set the plastic bag on her desk, right next to the open biology textbook and [Name]'s notes. "So that's it, then."

[Name] crashed onto her chair. "What's it?"

"That's why you're crying."

[Name]'s brows seemed to dance; one rose in confusion, then fell into a frown with its pair, before finally bending into a grimace. "Cry—I'm not crying, though?" Yaku brushed the back of his finger up her lashes. [Name] blinked repeatedly, before flinching at the unexpected sensation of tiny water droplets hitting her face. She locked eyes with Yaku's knowing look. "…Oh God, I'm crying."

"Come here."

And she did as told, pressing her forehead against his cushioned stomach, inhaling the scent of his deodorant on his hoodie. "Sorry, I've just been kinda stressed lately." A few sniffles sounded as she wiped her eyes with her fingers. "I really need to save my biology grades or I'm done for."

"[Name], come on, it's only the first semester. You'll get it back up the next one."

"You trust me too much."

Yaku laughed, tracing his hands up and down her back in an attempt to soothe her. "I should. I'm sure you'll do fine. Don't you like biology?"

"Dude, I like plants, not learning however the fuck humans came to be."

[Name] pulled away and raked her fingers through her hair. Yaku smiled down at her, placing his palm atop her shoulder. "Trust me on this one, you'll do just fine."

"I need better than fine, though." Her eyes strayed to the open textbook, riddled with thousands of unreadable characters. A heavy sigh fell from her lips. "I should really go over some stuff, just to be sure."

"Here." The rustling of the plastic bag caught [Name]'s attention. Yaku knew her too well. "I brought snacks and your favorite ice-cream. We can review together."

"Morisuke, it's, like, three in the morning."

"We will review together."

[Name] giggled, accepting the package of blueberries Yaku had tossed to her. She popped a small handful into her mouth. "Thanks, dad. Hm, also, how'd you know?"

"Know what?"

"That I was crying."

Yaku blanked. "Uh, I just did." He shrugged his shoulders while opening the cans of whipped cream. "I just know. Here, no cheating." He passed one of the cans to [Name], who gingerly took it in her hands with glimmering eyes. Almost instantly, she coated her blueberries with whipped cream. "Oh, for fuck's sake, I said no cheating."

"Good thing there's no practice tomorrow." [Name] snorted loudly, watching how her friend hurried to fill his mouth with sugary whipped cream. She gulped down her fruit before joining him.

"You can crash at my place."

Yaku's words—albeit muffled by the amount of cream puffing his cheeks—brought a warm smile to her face. "Much appreciated. Okay, let me teach you about human evolution."

Together, they laughed the night away, tossing fruit into each other's mouth and playing with their cans of whipped cream. [Name] explained her biology material with exaggerated hand motions and always a spoonful of her favorite ice-cream flavor trapped between her fingers. It was the following morning while she flunked her test when she wished she had gotten more than an hour of sleep. But looking back, the nights in which she started talking about the evolution of human beings only to end up rambling about the thumb not being considered a finger by certain definitions were her favorite.

[favoniuscodex]

personal growth is realizing that a lot of diluc fans or whatever the hell u call them shit on kaeya not for the meme and because of,,, other reasons :/

i, for one, thought ppl were doing it for the meme so i did it for a bit too. but notice how they never do it to any other character? therefore, joining in on stuff that seems harmless enough isn’t always the best decision if ur socially unaware like me. 

but then u realize,,, hm,,, some of the stuff they say doesnt sound like jokes n they talk abt kaeya in ways u dont see them talk abt any other character. rlly makes u think !!!!