#yeah ive. had this ask for a while
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been having thoughts so. college. interesting experience. you meet cool people, weird people, normal people, you take classes. sometimes they’re fun, sometimes you’re up at 11:45 crying bc ur goddamn code won’t work right and you don’t know how c# works you’re just a little guy and fuck unity anyways!
my point here. reverse isekai with college student!creator. you’re like “no i can’t go to teyvat from the game genshin impact i paid Five Thousand Dollars for my classes this semester and i’ll be damned if i don’t get my money’s worth” - teddy anon
oh thats hilarious actually
you who only got interesting in genshin because you needed a break from schoolwork, and never intended to get too invested into it. you can never play for very long, frequently having to log-off mid quest because shit, you'd forgotten about your calculus assignment, sorry jean!
your traveller can hear your distress, can tell that your world is getting too overwhelming for you... as time goes on, you save teyvat, but at what cost? your mental health? physical health? no no, the world you were in was flawed.. hopefully you wouldn't mind.
and when you first wake up in teyvat, you don't, not at first. you think its just a really, really weird dream, that your brain tapped out from trying to make sense of if-then-else statements. its a nice break! the people are a bit more reverent than you'd expect—seriously, you barely played twice a week, calm down—but overall, it's not bad!
when you next wake up, you do so with the brief panic of having not turned in your assignments last night. you pull away the blankets with intention, and take a solid step toward the door before registering that you're not in your room anymore. not a dream.
albedo is confused when you ask to go back—why? the traveller said you were stressed, you were overwhelmed, why would you want to go back?
"i went through too much stress to get into those courses and i refuse to let that go to waste."
"holy wind, you- if you wish to learn, i can ask master jean to contact the dendro archon-"
"albedo. my tuition."
#this is such a silly post /aff#m1d : [chats]#teddy anon#yeah ive. had this ask for a while#hey teddy hope you dont hate me for this one-#sorry ive been busy this week and am getting too ambitious with what im writing
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erik will genuinely jump at any chance he can to steal charles' last name and be so catty about it i know this for a fact WHAT is his deal
[Magneto (2011)]
#cherik#snap chats#if i had a nickel every time erik went by 'mr xavier' at some point id have two and its making me wheeze#like at least the first time it was to be headmaster or whatever so it at least makes sense but vjaevlEVEKJV WHY#needed our mandatory charles mention for the magneto issue ig alright ill take it#legit tho why did he feel inclined to steal charles name vjelkvjeaklj like his names 'erik magnus' in this#while i was trying to answer that fashion ask i stumbled upon this thing and gave it a quick read#its only one issue and fairly short so why not#Context Squad I Guess this issue's just sharing the first time erik moves to new york#hence. stealing charles name i guess vjaLVKJAJKL like girl you didnt do anything evil yet ..... alright .... just to be sure ig...#do you ever think he freezes getting called mr xavier or is he so used to it at this point#maybe he twirling his hair and giggling to himself every time he hear it idk#oh but yeah he didnt do anything evil yet. he actually gets his suit in this issue from a woman named cassandra .....#not charles sister of course but still im laughing anyway because he wants her to join him in his Not-Brotherhood group#and shes like 'i met you like five days ago youre insane' and the sort#its an ok read. its unnerving seeing erik smile so much- especially so broadly but its not like. an offensive issue. its standard#it does the job on sharing the story. not that im a critic of any sort vjalkjkaLJ#at the very least it's implied erik has a notable accent in this so thats very cool 🥰#its always cute whenever erik admits hes a drama lover too like vjeLVJEalkvjelkj like at least hes self aware this theater kid 😩#ok bye ive been meaning to work on something but ive been running around all day valkvjkae
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I’m sorry!! I need to know… will you continue your relapse comic???
Yes 100 percent yes. If u have only seen it on tumblr check out my twitter (@emilyriordan5) where ive been updating more pages past what ive posted here. I had been doing a page a week or a page every 2 or 3 days depending on how impatient i got lol, but in the past few weeks i took a break from updating cus 1. Im visiting a friend in another country r now 2. My part time job upped my hours and i wanna prioritize that cus i need the scratch 3. The next few months im gonna be working very hard on some animation production projects to fix my portfolio up to apply for a fellowship (ill be posting the work i do on that btw) 4. The next few months I'll also probs be very preoccupied with figuring out some stuff for a medical thing. 5. Family stüff
Ill be posting more pages soon tho, i have some partially finished ones i intend to polish as im traveling back home. The comic itself is gonna be 60 pages or so (it may balloon out to like 70, i keep on finding stuff to add lol) script is complete, thumbnail are partially complete etc.
There's no way in hell im not finishing this, i love the script too much and i wanna share it in the optimal way as a lot of it is contingent on visual communication. If i ever do give up the ghost on this project id probably at least post the script so ppl would know where i was going with the comic, but my intention as of right now is to complete it at my own pace. I thank you for your patience and interest!
#if u had asked me 2 weeks ago about this i also probably would have told u this comic was gonna be my last disco thing#at least for a while#but ive just started scripting a sapphic disco zine#working title 'very futuristic: a girl-liker zine' (thnx lana)#yes its gonna be a little sweet and a little spicy#mostly started it to experiement w art subjecta i never delve into#also to study anatomy and pose/body interaction#that one's gonna be a long time coming tho (lol) big backburner thing#but yeah#disco elysium#asks
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Fushikugi ATLA AU.
Would they bend an element. And if so which one?
Also.
Consider a Zutara fic where Zuko gets turned into some form of giant.
now hear me out, nobara as an earth-bender (she'll still have her hammer, but her nails comes in the form of her bending them to look like them)
idk why but megumi as a water-bender would be cool asf, imagine like his form of bending takes in the shapes of his shikigami's but in water form?
tropes in mind ; prince/chief x personal guard (yes the brainrot is still here), forced proximity, opposites attract
about the zk one, if im being honest when i first read it my first thought was, "omg, attack titan zuko!" 💀 (aot has been flooding my fyp lately, sorry y'all 👩🏻🦯) (i was reminded of that one scene from s2 where eren in his titan form affirmed to what hange had to say and hange went in awe and adoration right after 😭)
wait but like imagine, someone had tried to poison and assassinate him by spiking his drink (tea), only to realize that they've given him the wrong bottle and now the fire nation (and palace) are in shambles, literally and figuratively
#ive only had that crossover for a while now#saw someone made jjk x atla fanart and it included nobara with earth-kingdom clothing and i have never been the same#megumi could lowkey be the avatar lmao#but like he's such a grump about it (and maybe still have that feeling of dread like in jjk-verse)#anyway yeah thank you for listening to my small brainrot#wait but like imagine zuko as an attack titan...#stardust made zk as eremika for their fic and i have never been the same person since#okay yes that's all#and thank you for the ask!#zutara#fushikugi#zie yaps
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An interaction me and my favorite subway worker had
Her: *complaining about manager cutting her hours, and mentions she won't be able to take her birthday off bc she otherwise won't make rent*
Me: 👀 *stays 30 min longer than I was planning until she steps outside for a quick break*
Me: So, how short are you on rent?
Her:
Her: *incapable of letting others do nice things for her* .... none of your business...
#anyways she told me after I insisted#this woman is an absolute darling i cannot overstate this enough#like. genuinely. she helps customers save money whenever she can. she gives free cookies#and she works in food service + closes the place alone and has a shit manager#and since we were talking about money while i ate she mentioned her son oweing her money for her car + like 5k??? and not paying it back#but how she wont ask for it back bc hes her son & her kids had a shitty father and so i was basically just WAITING for a moment at that time#where there werent any customers so i could ask how much she needed#bc like HELL im gonna let someone i actually like risk missing rent if i can help it#i say im a broke college student here a lot but like. i DO have quite a lot in savings. im honestly just stingy w money#bc ive seen my family (*cough*grandpa&sib*cough*) spend money on things that really arent necessary#as in like hundreds and thousands within a week. and then they complain abt not having enough later in the month#so yeah. im careful w my money#but i like helping people & i like treating people & shes been honestly a really bright feature in days that have been shitty so#imma help out!#amber's shit you can ignore
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is it gay to make sure another mans history is passed on?
#labru and otasune...#jesus.#you know how like. crazy powers have to have a power up sequence? thats what im doing rn. gathering my knowledge. and so i have stumbled#upon the mgs4 book. sooooooooooooooooo ?!?!??!?!!?!?? im going to be Autism Powering Up for a while lol. happy that this is an actual book#so i can give an answer when someone asks what ive read recently (i am not answering fanfic. its literature to ME but i havent dropped my#shame too low just yet) but yeah i think im going to make a essay or powerpoint about the THREADS connecting mgs and homestuck its too much#also. i would like to make a list of characters who display a very Clear and textually viable classpect i think that would be fun#i tend to disagree with most assigned classpects im picky about the Patterns#like i saw someone tey to say solid snake is rage WHt are you talking about LMFAO#bro is the most obvious heart guy. like. born to be a machine. is nothing but a human. wants to get to the bottom (hand him his shovel!) of#himself. entrendre intended. swaps identities as a tool. like come on!#btw otacon is blood just like kabru. lineage stories records bonds past experiences.#^see all of this text this is why i call myself a rogue of heart instead of a seer now i fancy a wizards role and all but i cant help but#intake the HEART AND SOUL AND PUSSY creators put into their work and then dole it out on every other pussyful work.#im very busy being homestuck dungeon meshi and mgs brained at the same time i havent had a Special Interest Extravaganza since i was a wee..#16 or so
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How do you feel when demon/cryptid fics make Dick a Leviathan?
I won't lie friend I dont think I've ever read a fic with Dick as a leviathan in it before soo
#ask#anon#i had to look up what a leviathan is#its a sea critter#but yeah#i think its been like a year now since ive read a batfic#that wasn't like written by a mutuals of mine#or something based on my art#i realised a while back i dont like a lot of popular bat fanon that is used in a lot of fics#so i just stopped reading them#they just weren't for me and thats okay
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Junicrane/Starstruck Ramble
I will not be brief, all under the cut
To clear some things right off the bat:
No corpse, no proof with Juniper. Obligatory this is set in a canon where he's alive and adjacent to the agency in some way.
Reggie & Juniper are just gay to me, but I don't mind any interpretation of their sexuality
The games are set in 1967/68 to me (based on a couple bits in game) which is before it was legal to be gay in America at least (1971), which is relevant to how I interpret canon as being somewhat grounded in reality, despite unrealistic elements.
This is just an insane amount of headcanons/elements of and AU all culminated into one post. I will talk about some headcanons like they're just facts because they are established in my head, and it saves me over explaining literally everything, however I will explain some parts a little bit for clarity.
Alright. Actual beginning of the ramble:
Juniper is a character to me who had gotten so lost in his job as an actor and a social presence that in the end his whole life revolved around that 'role'. Because of this, by the time he's put into the situation where he's around the Agency, he basically knows nothing about himself, though he doesn't realise at first. Furthermore, what little identity he had has changed in so many ways. He's no longer a beloved famous actor in the prominence of public light, he's legally dead and he tarnished his career just before he was supposed to die, with the bonus of that making him lose the majority of his estate. From that, he also has horrific facial scarring from the electrical burns from literally having his face fried. I believe a friend of mine made a post about this a while ago (I also think they were the first to think it up also), but, to me, Juniper has a permanent trimmer in his right arm (aka his dominant hand) from the electrical current and it is messing with his nervous system.
All in all, he's not doing great, but he's too proud to admit that he's not doing great, because if anything, what's left of his ego is all he has as a defense since he's deep in unfamiliar water.
Before ending up around the agency (I have multiple interpretations of this, so I'm just going to bring it up generally), he'd never actually seen Reggie, and his only impression of him is a single voicemail, which was his only reference he had to later impersonate him. Juniper probably has very little feelings other than the ones he projects onto him because of Phoenix and that, at the very least, he's physically attracted to Reggie to some degree (that's like the beginning of how everything else would tumble into place in this sort of interpretation at least).
And on Crane's side? His feelings towards Juniper are probably very intense and muddled. On the one hand, he adores musical theatre, and that's his now ex-favourite actor. The thought of just casually being around him blows the bit of fanboy in him away at first because THAT'S the GUY, plus the inklings of a celebrity crush which still poke at him. And then there's the rational side of him, which knows Juniper has committed absolute atrocities on the side of Zoraxis, and hates him for that. Then there's how much Juniper comes off as an asshole at first because he refuses to cooperate with anything the Agency tried to put in place. He finds Juniper endlessly frustrating, and yet he's stuck working with him since, afterall, he's the one who knows the Agency's history with Juniper the best. I imagine him acting a lot like how he does IEYTD 1 around Juniper.
At this point, I'm just describing the pitch for a romcom.
I think the start of their relationship with one another largely started with Juniper trying to wind Crane up. It was a way of getting his attention, and I don't think Juniper knows why he's so dead set on that at first, because I don't think he realises he has a crush on 'this grump' at first. (I think that's actually the fun part about these two, because it's almost like a role reversal of the celebrity crush dynamic. This ex-big name actor has a TERRIBLE crush on an average joe and it is KILLING HIM.) But of course the Agency keeps them together because Juniper is at least conversing with Crane, so it's a start.
Through one way or another, they actually get talking casually, at least mildly at first. It takes Juniper a long time to fully deconstruct the wall he's built, and the thing is, Crane isn't the one trying to deconstruct it, at least at first, because yeah, Juniper realises if he wants Reggie to actually like him in any way, he can't keep winding him up. So they talk. Small talk at first, something rhythmic and almost easy to keep to a script. And over time that turns into actual conversations. Genuine ones in which Reggie rips out the occasional one of his jokes which Juniper is endlessly endeared about. The way he smiles just before he makes them, like he wants to chuckle at what he's about to say before he says it. That's probably when Juniper realised that he does have some vague crush on him, and that it wasn't going away.
This is what kickstarts John I can't-buy-you-things-to-impress-you-so-acts-of-service-it-is Juniper to do little things for him. It mostly starts off as him trying to make Reggie his tea how he likes it. However, the nerve damage in his arm makes that hard, as the weight of the kettle and trying to pour is hard all of a sudden. And he refuses to accept that, so he tries for a very long while. Long enough that Crane would go to investigate what was going on. And when he does see Juniper leaning over a cup with the kettle as he uneasily tries to pour it, and when Crane asks Juniper responds so matter-of-fact that his intention is nothing but genuine. And it catches Reggie off guard because Juniper hadn't done anything like that up to that point, and his very apparent vulnerability is so clearly on show.
It shifts something between them.
From that point on, conversations are longer, more familiar. Both of their attitudes soften, and Reggie makes more jokes. Juniper learns how to better use his left hand while strengthening his right back to a point where it could be used again. Slowly, they're both spending time with one another not because they have to, but just because they can. Little bits at first, not too far outside what they already were doing, but those little bits turned into long bits to a point where the other person's company was genuinely desirable.
As time passes, Juniper probably realises that he doesn't genuinely know much about himself or what hobbies he's into, because he never really had the time when he got big, and his home life in his youth wasn't bad, but it wasn't picturesque. I think Reggie would pick up on it, and absolutely try to introduce him to some things he's into. Some things stick, other things don't (corn husking very much stays Reggie's passion, and John will go with him sometimes because it's him, but it's not something he strongly cares for). Crane introduces him to a lot of music, and it's something that becomes a staple between them, with tracks they listen to more than others (tragically, I know relatively little about 60s music so I couldn't really say what). Occasionally they dance, never anything intense, think slow dancing, but the closeness is nice.
Through all of it, Juniper is battling the worst crush of his life, and he can't stand it, because I think he struggles to read people since he doesn't have anything like a script or a director to refer back to, so he has no idea if Reggie likes him back or if he's just desperate for that to be true. I think because of that any sort of confession between them would be incredibly raw, not only because of the time they live in making it hard for them to be truthful about how they love, but because it's a complete show of Juniper who's worked to be this better person. I don't exactly know how that would go, mainly because I don't have one set version of their dynamic, this post is just a generalisation of main consistent points.
Reggie does like him back, because he's gotten used to Juniper being just this guy, not a figure in the public eye, not a Zoraxis lackey, and not any sort of Agency operative (despite being under their care to some degree). He's someone he genuinely cares for, because they've given one another the time of day to learn one another, and I think because Reggie was a field agent, he was a lot better at reading Juniper than Juniper was at reading him. Eventually Juniper's company becomes something he could see around him for the rest of his life, and I think he accepts that he likes Juniper a lot more gracefully.
I think any affection directed at Juniper would at first be met with him feeling a little muddled. Reggie was a very physically affectionate person when he could be, and sure the initial flirting with one another came with the occasional little touches, but everything now was so deeply intentional. I also don't think Juniper would almost ever get over the novelty of being able to kiss him, or many other gestures, because it made the fact that they were together so very real, and it was great. I do think it comes easier to Reggie, and it's a big way of showing how much he cares, so it's important for Juniper to try and show it back because he knows how much it means to the other.
I like the idea of them eventually living with one another, too. I think Juniper would have always had a quiet little daydream of sorts where he does just live a domestic quiet life, and he can with Reggie (well, as close as they can get between the Agency and Zoraxis always being at odds), and he loves that, and he loves him, and it's immense.
I think they cook for one another a lot, it helps Juniper work on his dexterity in a controlled environment, which means a lot because it's a huge point of insecurity (that and his scars). He does improve, and Crane is proud of that and shows it and it's great. I also think they'd probably cook together too, because they can deal with being in the kitchen together and they work well with one another. It's probably a good way for them to unwind because over time they can do it in relative silence.
As I said before, I also think music is a staple in their household, and that Reggie listens to things on vinyl almost all of the time because he likes the background noise. Sometimes Juniper will catch him chuntering along to the music which he finds endlessly endearing. I wouldn't put it past his dramatic ass to also join in to fluster Reggie, but I also don't think Reggie would mind that terribly because Juniper has listened to the music enough to know the lyrics, and that's huge to him.
I don't think they are without rough patches, no relationship is, but I think the good part about them is that they're willing to talk about it (... eventually). They're used to long conversations, and while they're often less fun conversations, they're needed and they know that, and it works out.
Alright. I think I'm done for now. I haven't mentioned everything, but this definitely got the worst of it out of my system. If you ever want to hear any specific thoughts my ask box is open but other than that, behold my general dynamic for these two which has been festering in my head for years. I think they're great
#ty right-agent for explicitly telling me that this would be welcomed you a real one#i had a massive babble to my friend abt what if they all feed me to the hounds for speaking#and he said “girl that fandom is like 12 people big they need you to speak” and yeah that also helped#i have a hard time talking if I'm not asked/prompted to that's why i adding tags is great for me. that and i like the format#anyways.#THESE TWO.............dear lord can you tell I have been unwell abt them forever..#this is propeganda (/j) for them. btw. please you have to understand the potential here. it's so good.#it's slowburn <- my (probably) demiromantic ass cannot handle romance without a build up and this set up is perfect (it will never happen)#also i find it easier to write ANYTHING between these two from Juniper's perspective because i find it easier to get into his head#idk reggie is like the gay version of the: what is he thinking of? i could take a bear in a fight. audio ive heard.#whereas with juniper i have him trapped under a microscope#im going to tag this now so i can use the remaining tags to RANT#ieytd#john juniper#reginald crane#junicrane#starstruck#i expect you to die#<- being BRAVE!!!#when I get really excited i start getting like this internal shaking feeling and uh. yeah this rant started that#the worst part abt that is it also triggers my tourettes so like. double whammy. excited about blorbos? jail :(#but. yeah I uh. yeah. sorry this IS so long..I did warn but . AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHHHHHHHHHAUUUUUUAHHHHHHHHHHHHH#also i did this rant in 2 parts. last night and this morning so yeah uh. yeah.#god im so messed up about these two#make me a boat by the family crest came on while wroting this and while it's mainly a roxanix song to me......AUUUUUG.....#i struggle to find music for these sillies because they have such a specific vibe to me amd I've not quite managed to find something which -#- genuinely feels correct for them and it drives me up the WALL#GOD NIGHT SHIFT JUST CAME OF SHUFFL.....all my ieytd songs are coming out to drive me up the wall.......#FINISHED I've been adding tags as I've gone alonga#thank you for reading hope you enoyed and if you didn't im sorry
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teo.... i am thinking about getting some calico critters for work (i work with kids), which animal family should i get...
HIS LITTLE BROKEN WINGGGGGGG IN THIS PICTUREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE oh i am getting flashbacks. i miss him so dearly i am writing this with goosebumps and if i was on my phone i would provide a picture. first of all i am going off of their site thinking you can buy it all in america (bc we get such a scarce collection in serbia 😞)... okay i would say: 1. choco bunnies OF COURSE they are iconic! also i choose the ones that have boys and girls #equality. i have flora family but i dont know how old are the kids you are working with - and the little triplets are tiny so i am afraid they would lose them. there is just parents though, keep in mind these are double the size of a normal baby 2. striped cats! again no little babies so no choking hazard/easily lost, boys and girls and i dont know kids love cats i guess 😼 there is also latte cat family but there is too many little additions and a little guy so i wouldnt recommend it. 3. sheep family is so insanely adorable hello their headpieces and matching bows i could cry... Its not available rn though.... but god i want them all so bad
#and i stand corrected bc why is there so much more to choose in serbia like whatt!!! serbia win believe it or not.... there is a red panda#family and grey bunnies with puffy tails and CHIHUAHUA FAMILY GODDD ive been eyeing that one for a while#but yeah choco bunnies and it will remind you of jeonghan its a win win situation my friend#also love how today i get an ask abt sylvanian families and few days ago i had an ask asking for cig recs like i am just an influencer#im afraid#ask
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been weirdly gender affirming for me to say "ma'am" recently
#idk what it is about it#just me rambling again#ive had a calling to call one of the scary old ladies at work ma'am for a little while she just seems like the sort of woman you should#respect like that#and also I've started half jokingly saying shit like “yes ma'am” when my gf asks or tells me to do something#for context if anyone somehow doesn't know i am from the midwest and so its not like. a super frequently heard thing i feel like#but yeah there's something very affirming to me i guess i just don't hear a lot of women call other women ma'am so it makes me feel boyish
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2, 7, 19 and 29 for the writer ask thingy?
2 (a character whose POV you’re currently exploring): Bellummmm i’ve jumped ahead slightly in a fic to do a scene from his pov (cant remember if it was originally in his pov or not) and i do enjoy trying to figure out his pov in general, this current one is in the ship oneshot so its both trying to write and figure out how he thinks/speaks plus the challenge of him being nonhuman and figuring out how to describe movement. otherwise i have an eldin ring and a smt iv fic both rotting in my wips somewhere that take a look at the povs of my tarnished and flynn where the neutral route splits off respectively.
7 (your preferred writing fonts): i dont really pay a lot of attention to fonts, i just start up a new word doc and the only thing i might tinker with is the line spacing- i usually end up in some sort of calibri or aptos or whatever the default font is.
19 (the most interesting topic you’ve researched for a fic): yeah im gonna be totally honest here and admit that i havent done a whole lot of research for most of my fics. i looked up how to block a knife yeaaaars ago and some light stuff about. um. yeah honestly i havent done a lot of research specifically for a fic, i generally look into stuff when it comes up and i deem it important enough to the fic, and since i put the most focus on the characters it generally doesn’t come up. more often than not, i tend to use past, unrelated research and my own existing knowledge, anyways, and play into that more. i do, however, do occasionally smatterings of research into injuries and illnesses and mental illnesses and all of that, partially out of general interest, but also because i like to keep it in mind for fic purposes. i have genuinely considered looking into taking an anatomy class primarily for fanwork purposes (but i do think the subject is genuinely interesting too)
29 (how easy is it for you to come up with titles?): coming up with titles is my achilles heel it SUCKS its a hell of my own creation i struggle with it so bad that’s why half of my loz aus have little placeholder names and why half of everything else is a song lyric or some quote. i only have a handful of original titles and any of the good ones likely took me ages to come up with. i tend to fall back on some flavor of pun.
#asks#salty talks#goopi-e#i think the font thing and the research thing make it clear that i am very like. loose with my fic writing#or whatever i get going when it strikes my fancy and generally play it by ear#also i tend to really struggle with research in general like ive had to do it a lot recently for my classes#in particular for some essays ofc (tho i put less effort into my actual Research Essay than some argumentative thing i did a while ago#and got a perfect score on but it probably helped that i cared a bit more abt that subject and there ws more. actual stuff to find)#anyways yeah illnesses and injuries and you can tell i used to be specifically into whump. love to fuck up my comfort character#completely seriously its one hell of a motivator to slide in some mandatory Get Linebeck Covered In His Own Blood event on my aus.#really gets me motivated. thats why ive been thinking abt my mecha au recently#aaaaand thats it im tired calibri is my default font bc its the default font but it does depend on what im writing on
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Suddenly stressing out so so so much because farrier school starts march 31st and i still need to find an apartment near the school and also buy all my tools and also buy new work boots and also more jeans because i only have like 2 pairs left (???) and also need to get a trailer hitch installed on my car so i can even drive my stuff up to Minnesota in the first place and also-
#except i have absolutely zero money to do it all with AAAAAHHHH#literally the entirety of my first paycheck is going toward paying off my taxes#the entirety of my next pay check is going to have to go toward paying for my car#and then after that I'm going to only have like. maybe two more paychecks and then I'll have to quit my job#i really wish i had an easier time asking my parents for financial help. like they can afford it no problem#but actually going to them and being like “hey. im barely scraping by. could you help me out?” makes me feel like im having a heartattack#probably has something to do with how i was 100% preparing myself to get disowned when i came out as trans to them#or the fact that they dropped all financial support of me when i dropped out of college#(because the alternative was me driving my car as fast as it would go into a tree lmao)#so i suddenly went from having schooling + housing provided for to having to figure out how to survive on $10/hr + tips#while very mentally unwell#tho i think maybe they'd be a lot more willing to help if they knew just how much ive been struggling the last 6 years? maybe?#but then how to fuck do i tell them “oh yeah. since you stopped helping me ive barely been able to afford both food and rent every month”#“yeah ive technically been living below the poverty line the last 6 years but im terrified to ask you for help for reasons i cant explain”
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Person A: Do you want a beer? I’m paying.
Person B, going through the restaurant’s menu: No. Ugh, where’s the good stuff?
Person A, half jokingly: I thought you were an alcoholic.
Person B: Exactly. I’d need at least, like, four beers — without food — to get slightly buzzed, and my stomach can’t fit over 2 beers in it. I’m small. I’ll have a rum, neat.
#source: me#incorrect quotes#incorrect quotes ideas#incorrect quotes prompts#tw: drug mention#tw: drugs#i used to be so small when all i did was heroin and ketamine. since i started drinking (i only started drinking every night because the-#-opiate withdrawal was so fucking bad alcohol was the only thing that kept my legs from kicking all night long and my skin from feeling-#-like it was on cold wet fire somehow)#anyway. when all i did was opiates ™ i was like 45 kg and i’m 165 aka 5’5 like i looked like a sickly model#now it’s only been a month drinking and not doing morphine or some shit and i already gained 12 kg it’s insane i’m like almost 60 kg now#i’m queueing this for a month from now so hopefully it’ll have been 2 months when this gets posted#and like i say i’m an alcoholic cause i don’t think it’s normal to drink like 5 nights a week but i’m not chemically dependent on it like i-#-was with opiates like i’m sober half the time. ive never done surgery while drunk for instance. there was this one time i had just had 4-#-shots in the bathroom in secret cause i was having a panic attack and didn’t know what else to do but anyway.#and they asked me if i wanted to close up on a tubal ligation and i passed on the opportunity even though i was Fine bc idk i just didn’t-#-feel good ab it. which is more than i can say for my professor tbh#like some other medical intern said ‘wow it must be so hard having to be On Call 24/7. like i bet u can’t even drink’#and he said ‘oh come on surgeons have lives too. in fact i drank more than a few beers just a few hours ago lol’ and proceeded to cut-#-someone open#anyway. yeah. i don’t get drunk at work yk#felt like i had to make that clear
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this is an entire year late but. i think i was overcharged for iud insertion -_-
#i was in EXTREME PAIN bro i did NOT want to ask about if all the costs added up ok.#ive been suspecting it but. genuinely.#one) the docs name is on here but she had a student in the room and the Student is the one that put it in.#im pretty sure. thats meant to be cheaper lmao.#but also im looking up the fee estimates and im thinkin..... yo what the fuck.#yeah it could have changed since then but seriously? i paid#what was basically listed as the cost before rebate#that pisses me off lmao.#anyways theres a while before it needs to be removed but im considering just doing removal diy lmao.#not the safest idea perhaps but i dont wanna spend more money on this lmao.#saying all this with the shuro icon is fun LMAO pov: you are toshiro and after a year of nonconfrontation#acknowledge hesitantly that you have been overcharged for your iud insertion.
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hey, so... you DO know right that if you check out side order on the nintendo e-shop, it has a confirmed release date? 31/12/2024
..... Did this ask time travel, or...?
#ask#avfrisk#not a countdown#Crying. Even if this ask didnt time travel#That date was wrong. It was just an estimate. And especially since I made this acc when they announced it would be spring..#That's even more to make you think 'oh maybe this date was wrong' because while yeah it didnt release in spring well#At least. It released near spring? Dude if it released in winter when they said spring i wouldve been soooo upset#Anyway sorry for the inactivity again. Been really low on energy‚ got accepted into a zine‚ and stuff happened irl#After I finish my zine stuff I'll draw some more here. Oh man#Theres a really old ask that ive been wanting to draw something for but i just havent had time!!#Okay‚ thats all for now. It's actually pretty late when I'm writing this‚ not when its posted.. And I should be asleep by now.#It's my birthday. I need to get up...... Earlier than usual for activities. See ya!#(Does anyone read the tag rambling i do..?)
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#sorry sorry I just woke up and im having yesterday-was-weird thought again#and they are going here so i don't have to talk to the person that they're um about yet#basically im glad that im in a good enough space now that um#someone ive ive had text-based sex with and uhhh sent an ill-advised video to in like oct when i was Feeling Bad™ and doing. hm. too much.#like 6 months post text-based sex/ill adised video now aha and we've not spoke at all since like january and that was 'how was hols'#they asked to meet up 'not for sex just as friends' or i forget exact wording but basically that#no-pressure museum not-a-date#and i said I'd think about it. because i am as everyone knows a fucking idiot.#basically im glad that im in a better place now than the last time someone like expressed an interest in me as a person#because while this did give me a day long wobble i didn't have a full weekend long actual panic about it#tho they are two v different situs#an ace poly friend asking to go out with me vs someone i uh virtually fucked aha um asking to meet up for (mostly) being-friends purposes#same several-hours-later 'oh god no what have i done bad bad bad no thank you actually no sorry i cant sorry' but less intense this time#but at least i only said ill think about it?#and not actually immediately said yes because it's nice to feel wanted#and then gone Maximum Regret™ because actually all of this is way too much i don't like it i don't want it thank you but im sorry no#weird. i guess i don't have such a high baseline stress level any more? since i'm not at uni n stuff#and someone over messages going no pressure you want to be irl friends (maybe fwb no pressure)? is um#is different. to someone irl going you want to go out acely? yeah? awesome lets hold hands here is the discord with a whole buncha people#i guess#but i am being equally aro-not-super-ace Autism™ about it aha#and i am. eventually. going to be like. thought about it and no sorry. eventually.#if they ask again#i am kinda hoping they'll leave it there and forget they asked so i don't have to navigate social stuff#im much better at navigating canals everybody leave me alone please thank you#(everybody over there leave me alone. y'know. you guys are fine.)
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