#sometimes i'm bad with words but i hope this conveys enough of the love i have for all you guys

[wildcxrds]

🌸 a token of my appreciation 🌸

I’ve been through quite the journey in the RP community - all my characters have been through various blogs since 2012, and maintaining the OG four while adding to my roster has been part of that journey.

However, coming back after leaving the RP comm in 2018 was extremely daunting and took a couple tries, but I think this is the one that really stuck. Reflecting back not just on the character progress I’ve had, but the place I’m at now with them and seeing people’s genuine interest in them and their story fills my heart so greatly. I’m forever thankful to all of you to this day, for sticking through the hiatuses and the fluctuation of activity and still wanting to write and interact with not just my OCs (and now Thor!) but with me!

From the bottom of my heart, from all my muses:

Thank you.

I wanna extend a few specific thank yous; please understand I still have an extremely deep appreciation for all of y’all. I just want to show a little love to these peeps.

First of all, to @eternalspawn @visixnaryx Torioioio (YES I’M TAGGING BOTH YOUR BLOGS). You have been there since the beginning, when we first met back in 2012. I’m so grateful to have you still as my friend to this day, and honored to have written with you still and had our characters meet and adore each other. Kairo still loves Adamire to bits and pieces, and really, all my characters love yours by default. Your writing is so fantastic, and always leaves me blown away, and know that no matter who you bring around, I’ll be around to write with them as much as you’d like. I love you very much, friend, you’re a fantastic person, always make me laugh, and you’re such a light! 🌸❤️

@deafarcher Fir, you’re another one of the homies that was around from the olden days! You even kept following me on my personal too 🥹 I’m happy we’ve found each other again and we’re writing - I missed you greatly, friend!

@xinchargeofthetvax you!! YOU! You have been here for this blog through its trials and tribulations, been super understanding and always extending kind words and holding such lovely conversation. I can’t believe it’s been a year already! Time flew!! I love the way you write Mobius so much. Thank you thank you thank you (PS: whenever someone uses the word bud, I think of you! Fondly, of course) ❤️

@ignisregina I know it’s been a bit and I know life has you busy but you have also been one of the sweetest people I’ve met on here. You give Alliecat & me so much love and I was 10000% on board pre-establishing her friendship with Mari. I hope you are doing well, I miss you lots and hope to see you again soon!!

@cxcasiris I will never forget the absolutely sweet ass message you sent me while I was struggling. Beyond that, the friendship you’ve given me thus far and the person you are = I’m stuck on you like glue! You are incredibly creative, friendly and just all around such an awesome person, and whatever journey you want to go on creatively, I’m along for the ride as long as you’ll have me! Thank you for always being so considerate to me and reaching out when you can.

@luposcainus I have to be so honest I was so intimidated to approach you for the longest! I’d seen you around before but I was always nervous (I’m just generally a shy bean sometimes) but I’m glad we’ve started writing together! It’s helped me to see the fear was unfounded. I see the love and care you give to Caspian!! Thank you for always being kind and being as much of a silly bean as I am!

With that being said, if I keep going and thanking everyone this is just gonna be an already BIGGER wall of text than it already is. So my HUGE HUGE HUGE love and appreciation for all these peeps; CHECK THEM OUT. All of these people have been so amazing, and I wish I had the proper words to declare how deep my appreciation goes for all of them! As time goes on, the list gets bigger!

🌸 @brokenandlonelysouls | @escapedartgeek | @evildollface | @vuulpecula | @vivalavillain | @redheadarcher | @muchtodoaboutmuses | @thscharmngman | @differentcentury 🌸

[bestedoesmeow]

SORRY, AMOUR

request: where he teases the reader playfully (like usual) but without realising she's already had a bad day, so that sort of backfires and she almost cries lol and he starts to panic making it up to her

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘ ∘₊✧──────✧₊∘ ∘₊✧── ∘₊✧

"Amour, you've been lying on that bed forever. Don't you think you've had enough rest?" Charles teased as he stood in the doorway of your room, a smirk playing on his lips. You didn't turn your head to face him, but you were sure he had that playful expression. "I couldn't sleep last night. I just need a few more hours, Charles," you replied with your eyes closed, trying to fall asleep for over an hour by then. Your mind had been wandering about everything since yesterday night, from your schoolwork and exams to your and Charles's dog's illness. Despite Charles's stress about Ferrari and races, you didn't want to burden him with your own life problems. You felt they were insignificant compared to the weight he was carrying with his team's strategies.

"Why is that, chéri? Was I snoring?" Charles asked with a joking tone. While you were glad he was in a good mood after his podium in SPA, you weren't in the mood for small talk. You just hummed in response, an uneasy and almost angry reply. It was clear that you wanted him to leave you alone, as it wasn't the right time for teasing. Charles, noticing something was amiss and sensing your uneasiness, decided to take a different approach. He swiftly entered the room that you had shared for a year now and slowly sat on his side of the bed before starting to talk.

"I thought we were going to grab breakfast, chéri?" he said, trying to lighten the atmosphere. However, his attempt didn't go as planned, and you reached your limit. Your priority that morning wasn't grabbing breakfast. The immense anxiety on your chest and the heavy feeling throughout your body were overwhelming.

"I don't think so. I don't feel like it. Actually, I just want to lay here and cry for a while," you confessed, your voice trembling with emotion as tears began to well up in your eyes.

Charles's playful demeanor disappeared as he realized the seriousness of the situation. Without hesitation, he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you gently into his comforting embrace. He softly stroked your hair and whispered reassuring words, "It's okay, my love. You can take all the time you need. Let it out, and I'm here for you."

You couldn't help but let the tears flow as you clung to Charles, feeling his warmth and support. Gradually, he encouraged you to talk about what was bothering you. You opened up about the overwhelming pressure of schoolwork and exams, the worries about your dog's illness, and the constant thoughts that had kept you up all night.

Listening attentively, Charles assured you that everything would turn out alright, that he was there to help and support you through it all. He reminded you that you were not alone in facing life's challenges and that you could lean on him whenever you needed to.

As the weight on your chest began to lift, Charles noticed your mood improving slightly. He knew that sometimes all it took to bring a smile back to your face was a bit of distraction and comfort. So, he decided to do just that.

"Hey, how about we take a break from everything for a moment?" Charles suggested with a gentle smile. "I got something to cheer you up." He reached over to grab some coloring books and art supplies, knowing that you enjoyed expressing yourself through art.

He also brought out a playlist of your favorite music, hoping that the familiar tunes would help lift your spirits. As the music played softly in the background, Charles joined you in coloring, creating a relaxing and fun atmosphere.

"Je t'aime, Charles," you said, suddenly burning with the urge to reciprocate the love you felt for him.

“Je t'aime, mon amour," he whispered, Charles kissed you tenderly, his lips conveying a sense of comfort and belonging. The worries and anxieties seemed to fade away, replaced by a sense of serenity in his presence

[yarrystyleeza]

Happy birthday tomorrow Yuna! Hope you'll have an amazing day ❤️❤️

As for a request... When I saw you would write for Daryl, I knew I had to send you something. Season 1 and 2 Daryl lives rent free in my mind, so can I please request:

"when they tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear while you talk" and "brushing against each other, even if there is enough room"

Thank you in advance and again, Happy birthday 😁❤️🎉

Awww thank you my love, sorry for answering this late, hope you didn't mind it, it was stupid of me! 😅💖💖💖

I was stuck with the plot of the request for the last two months until last night, I literally wrote this in less than 10 hours lol 🤣🤣🤣 hope you enjoy it, though, and sorry for keeping you hanging! 💖💖💖 You're so welcome and thank you for dropping this request and for the birthday wishes! 🥰🥰🥰

Little Things (D.D)

Requested by @munsonownsmyass

Pairing and dynamic: Daryl Dixon x female! reader, idiots in love

Prompt: fluff, s1!s2!Daryl, tucking hair behind ear, brushing against each other even if there's enough room + petnames for the cherry on top!

Word count: 1.4k!

Writer's note: I loved writing this one so much! As you lily, season one and two Daryl is my favorite Daryl era (beside S8). Not 100% proofread but I hope you really enjoy it, have a great day! <3

"Hurt y'self, little thin'?" He teased, watching you lying on the forest bed after your foot faltered and slipped you into the bottom of the hill. Your brows knitted, you rolled your eyes, he chuckled at the face you made, "alright, I'm comin'."

He slides down, smoothly, and a little bit pompously—with a smirk on his face. You can't lie—he made you smile though you desperately wanted to punch him right in the face.

He offered his hand to you and you accepted his help. At first, he let you wrap your arm around his neck as he walked you towards the hill exit—but as it turns out, you sprained your ankle so bad it was impossible for you to take another step. He scooped you in his arms and carried you back to the quarry.

And that's how you met Daryl.

You can't admit he wasn't a pain in the ass most of the time—if not always, getting on your nerves and driving you up the wall, it was so constant you started thinking he was doing it on purpose.

It kinda was. Daryl had serious troubles with conveying his emotions, and that idiot had a sickening crush on you ever since he saw you at the camp with the girls. He wanted your attention and he only got it when he drove you mad, so he tooled it in his advantage.

You were his favorite. You're the only one he talks to—other than his brother, Merle—and you, too, are the only one who wants to talk to him.

You too had a crush on him. His silly fights and bickering became more amusing to you—sometimes you couldn't even contain the smile drawn across your face when he's mad about something so stupid and could be fixed in complete silence, and when you gave him your smug face—it always drove him insane. You learnt he's quick-tempered, but these ones were visibly made up just to get a chance to be with you.

Daryl reminded you of those little boys in the playground when they used to ruin the girls' sand castles or pull their braids and ribbons just to get their attention. Ever since you came up to this conclusion—life has never been easier!

But things changed a little bit after the attack on the quarry. Daryl turned from only being a hot-headed idiot to be completely protective of you, but that doesn't mean he stopped getting angry—God forbid he does! But he got more reasonable and collected—around you, at least.

As soon as you got to the CDC, he grew closer to you, more friendly, more worried, more caring. He barely slept the night you spent there, checking on you every thirty minutes to make sure you don't need anything—despite you being a wall apart. It was adorable, and it stirred something in you.

Same night at dinner, right before you went to bed, he sat beside you as you dined, he made sure your plate was full and that you'd eaten well because 'it's been a while since you got a decent meal', he says.

And in the middle of the chaos the following morning—he solely cared for you, and not a thing was going to stop him from smashing Dr. Jenner's head that morning if it wasn't for you calming him down.

The two of you escaped in his pickup truck. But despite the horror you had just fled, you couldn't stop stealing glances at each other, Daryl was focused on driving but you spotted him staring at you with soft eyes a couple of times. Both of you blushed, multiple times—vividly, but you couldn't stop. Something was so amusing and sweet about the way he was looking at you, and you were so tempting to him he couldn't stop staring at you even if he wanted to.

Now, staying at Hershel's farmhouse, Daryl turned out to be that sweet lovey dovey guy who'd absolutely melt under your touch—in complete opposite to the face he's been showing to everyone.

As you went out to search for Sophia, Daryl offered to accompany you. He kept brushing arms with you, pumping into your side, and gently holding your biceps to guide you as you walked. He kept putting himself between you and any threat, not letting you shed a drop of sweat—you were almost a passenger princess, but on foot.

But it was very obvious the night he got shot—your heart dropped when it happened, and when you learned it was your Daryl and not some misinformation. You couldn't watch as they took the bullet out, you couldn't watch him screaming in agony—yet you heard him from behind the door. It tore your heart into pieces.

The night fell as you sat on the chair next to his bed, your head dripping every couple minutes as you drifted in and out of sleep. Your head was heavy as a rock sinking in the ocean—yet you kept fighting Mr. Sandman back, shaking your head and rubbing your eyes and patting your face.

"Go to bed, pet," he softly demanded, "ye're tired from sittin' here all day," he extended an arm, gently placing it on your thigh and squeezing it chastely, "ya need some rest."

You shook your head, "I'm fine, Daryl," you shrugged, "it's not like it's the first time I stay up late."

Both of you stay silent, staring at each other with soft eyes. "Climb up in 'ere," Daryl says, his voice was tinted with plead "at least you won't have to keep droppin' yer head like a sippy chicken."

"No, Daryl," you shook your head in utter refusal, desperately trying to show him how awake you are despite craving a warm bed, "you need your own space. What if I accidentally hit your wound--"

"Come on, pet, you know you won't..." he softly smiles, shaking his head. You sigh and climb into the bed with him and he shares his blanket with you. He turns to face you, the moonlight is perfectly casted upon your faces, his blue eyes sparkled and reflected you like a looking glass. He grazes your cheek, tucking your stray hair back behind your ear and his fingertips linger on the skin of your neck.

"Get some sleep, love," he caresses your hair, "I won't need nothin' when ye're right next to me."

You woke up tangled up in his chest, it was warm and peaceful. You never wanted to slip out of his arms—if it wasn't for Hershel coming over to check on him and the men accompanying him.

Daryl got better as the days gone by. You started to see him in the kitchen fetching some biscuits or chips, he'd pump into you on his way out, brushing arms with you and glancing at you with his blueies and a smile. And if he's in the right mood, he'd take you off guard and peck your cheek, and you'd turn red and try to bite your smile. He caught it had quite the right effect on you, and he's been doing it ever since.

"Let it down, pumpkin," Daryl flirts as he snatches the scrunchie out of your hand as you tried to tie your hair, "love it when it's coverin' yer pretty face, gives me a reason to keep tuckin' it back."

"But we're going on a mission," you protest, "it would be dangerous for both of us!"

Daryl takes a run around the golden field and you chase him—but he overpowers you and you stop running, panting and clutching your chest as he giggles. He mischievously walks back closer to you, so you try to take it back, but he's taller than you, stretching his hand up with your scrunchie and shaking it to tease you. "Ya ain't tiein' it today, darlin'."

"Give it back!" you giggle as you jump to reach for your scrunchie, but he keeps stretching his arm above his head.

"Ye look so cute like that, pumpkin," he pulls a smug face as you lean forward against him, your chests compacting and you're an inch away from kissing.

"You could've told me you wanted to kiss me," you tease, not minding that he lowered his hand back down. He tucks your stray bangs behind your ear, ending up doing what he wanted to do all along.

"But it's more fun to watch ya tiptoe and lean on to me like that," he rounds you with his big arms, pulling you deeper into his chest with a Bastard smirk on his face, "it makes you even prettier, pet. These little things you do."

Likes and reblogs are appreciated, thank you for coming to my birthday sleepover celebration! 💞💞💞

[dokeythings]

| lethal secrets | (dokyeom)

*tw: mentions of suicide and depression

"y/n, please, i don't want to fight with you" he begs, his voice teetering on on the brink of a breakdown. he's trying to remain calm. trying to remain steady and responsible. 

"well i do! i want to fight with you! i'm tired of us pushing our problems to the side and pretending they don't exist!" you scream back, not matching his calm energy at all. you've had enough, and this evening was your breaking point. 

"we can talk about our problems without fighting" he answers hesitantly, hoping you don't continue to escalate things.

but you do. 

you're not sure why his calm, non urgent tone is bothering you so much, but it's making you feel like he doesn't care. and that's pissing you off.

"we clearly can't! because you never tell me what you're thinking! it's a battle everyday where i'm apparently supposed to just read your mind. where you get quiet and then disappear for schedule for hours on end and then we never talk about it. ever!" you yell, getting completely frustrated. you're going to be letting out things you've wanted to say for a long time now.

dokyeom looks down at the floor, your words not falling upon deaf ears. you hit a weak spot. he knows he's not good at sharing his feelings and thoughts with you. he knew you would get fed up with it eventually, despite his efforts to fix this bad habit. hearing you say it made it real. he's scared you won't have the patience for it anymore. you can tell that you got to him.

"i'm trying, y/n. i really am" he says quietly, wishing the confrontation would just end. but he knows he messed up.

"you're not dokyeom! sometimes i swear i don't know anything about  you" you say, as if you're punching him in the gut. you regret your words instantly. you wish you could shut your mouth.

he shakes his head sadly, "that's not true. you know everything about me. i've opened up to you" he says, trying to finally stand up for himself. 

"then why are you always sneaking off and disappearing everyday, for way longer than i know you have work. and why do i hear rumors of things going on in your life that you have never once told me? that you'd rather tell anyone but me? do you know how much that hurts me?" you say angrily, but the tears well up in your eyes, conveying an all too different emotion that you try to push to the background.

what dokyeom hasn't told you about is the extra hour a day he's been going to see a therapist. he hasn't told you about how he's been really struggling to get out of the shelter of the bed sheets for months now. or how he doesn't have the energy to fight with you. but how he wants to fight for you. how most days he only stays alive for you. he sees now that that hasn't been enough. 

all you want is to be there for him. you want to know what he's thinking all the time, and why he will randomly go quiet and get that far off look in his eyes. you want to be in on the secrets that everyone else is. you want for him to let you love him. you don't want it to have to be done this way, but you can't get through to him any other way. you feel your heart tearing apart with every word you yell at him. 

"i've been going through some stuff" he trails off, avoiding your eyes still. he looks defeated.

you quit the yelling. "some stuff? what does stuff mean?" you ask. you are still irritated, and feeling so utterly left out and helpless. you can't help him if he doesn't admit what he needs help with. 

he breaks down.

he hasn't cried in months. he hasn't been able to. his eyes have been dry and his body has been numb. but looking at you, seeing you get angry with him for something he's so desperately trying to fix for you, he loses it. he didn't want you to know. he didn't want to be the broken man who feels like he can't even keep himself alive. you fell in love with a happy, optimistic dokyeom who brightened up your day. he doesn't feel like that person anymore, and he couldn't bear to find out what would happen if you noticed. 

he's on the ground before you can even comprehend what's happening. he's sobbing into his hands, his knees dropped to the floor as if his body gave up on him. you are paralyzed. you've never seen him cry like this.

"dokyeom?" you ask quietly, softly this time. you think you went too far. you think you shouldn't have gotten the information out of him this way. you curse yourself for losing your temper. you can't lose him. not when he needs you most.

he doesn't answer. he doesn't even look up. you think he may have not even heard you over his crying and the hiccups. 

"baby" you say, a little louder this time. you take a few weary steps towards him until you're standing right above him.

you bend down slowly and place your hand on his shoulder. he looks up at the contact, wondering why you aren't yelling anymore. he doesn't even remember breaking down. he suddenly feels numb again. 

you stare back at him into his bloodshot eyes, finally seeing the secrets he's been hiding from you. he's broken. 

you sit down on the floor in front of him. if he's broken, you must be strong.

"my sweet boy. i'm sorry for yelling at you. i just want to help you. i need to know what's going on so i can help you" you say gently, keeping your distance and building up the conversation slowly. you've never seen him so fragile. you're terrified. but you have to stay strong. 

"sometimes i don't want to be alive" he says, cutting right to the point. he can't hide anymore. 

you suck in, your breath hitching at his words. salty tears of your own fall down your cheeks. you feel like you can't breathe. 

"baby" you choke out, reaching your hand out to him. you don't even know what to say. you don't know where to go from here.

he sees your tears. he sees your fear. this is what he was avoiding. there's no going back now. 

"i've been seeing a therapist. that's why i'm gone a lot. i've had to talk to the company a lot too. it's been a whole process" he continues, spilling it all.  "i'm in the middle of getting antidepressants. i still can barely admit it to myself. i didn't know how i could admit it to you" he chokes out. 

you hold his hand tightly.

"i don't feel like the same person you fell in love with. i'm scared you won't love who i am now" he breaths out, ending it with a sob. 

your heart shatters. of course you will still love him. of course you would! everything you fell in love with is still in there. it's all still in him, you see it everyday.

"please look at me" you encourage. 

he switches his gaze from the ground to you. the second you look into his eyes, you hate yourself. you should have been there. you should have been helping him. you should have known without him having to say a word.

"i love you, dokyeom" you say sternly, praying it gets through to him. you need it to get through to him. 

"i loved you the second i met you, i loved you yesterday, and i'll love you tomorrow" you continue, scooting even closer to him.

he sniffles.

"it's going to be okay. you're getting the help you need. you're doing everything right, baby" you say, your lip quivering as you try to be brave for him.

he doesn't say another word. he throws himself into you, wrapping his arms tightly around you in a hug thats been a long time coming. you hold onto him for everything its worth. you hold him like he's the most delicate thing in the world, who could break at any touch. but you also hold him like he's the bravest, strongest thing in the world, who you know without a doubt can get through this. 

"i'm so sorry i didn't tell you" he cries, not daring to let go of you. 

"please don't say sorry. none of that matters anymore. all that matters is that you get better" you say honestly, rubbing his back gently. 

you softly take his face in your hands and make him look at you again before you say this. 

"don't you fucking leave me baby. don't you dare go anywhere" you speak, the tears falling once more. your throat feels tight. you aren't doing so good at being strong for him. 

he knows exactly what you mean. he hears you. he looks into your eyes, noticing the sheer fear in them. a fear that he instilled. he decides right then and there that he's going to get better. that he has to get better. he knows without a doubt that you'll be there with him, holding his hand the whole time. for the first time in a long time, he feels a little stronger. he feels like there is light on the other side of the tunnel he's been trapped in.

[lilydaisylily]

I Love you (part 3)

Pairing: Choi Seungcheol x Y/N (reader)

Hi lovely readers! Here comes part 3 for this series and I really hope you'll enjoy it! If you have some spare time, would really appreciate it if you can hit like and repost this post so other reader can read it too! Love you lots!✨️

Do not copy. All right reserved.

Happy reading!✨️

🦋 🦋 🦋 🦋 🦋 🦋

Jessica fucking Thompson.

You knew that voice anywhere. The very voice that always there to take whatever it is that belongs to you, but always so fucking unlucky for every second of the time. Thank heavens for that.

"Y/N! What a coincident! What are you doing here?" Jessica ask you with a very annoying high pitch voice.

"Do I look like I'm here to cook, Jessica?" You swear she'll annoys you to death by just breathing.

"Aww, don't be like that! Looks like you hurt your hand with, let me think, umm like some kind of an acid accident? How unfortunate." A wicked glint flashes in Jessica's eyes as she eyeing your injury, gloating for your bad luck.

So she's the mastermind here. How predictable.

Sometimes you wonder how on earth does this stupid human being can live and kicking until today, unscattered and happy? Who in their right mind will casually admitting to their crime in broad daylight? You really don't know what kind of good deed she did in her past life to be blessed with this life that she have today.

On the other hand, being a sharp person that she is, Rebecca swiftly turn on her phone recording rightly after she noticed Jessica coming towards you a few second ago. She have this hunch that it will be worth it to record your conversation. Hence, the unofficial confession from the villain has been recorded successfully.

Taking your silent as a yes, Jessica continues to provoke your emotion, "Looks like I'm right, 'ey? Aww poor Y/N! Have you cried to Cheollie about this yet? Oh, wait! You guys are not together anymore, right? Oh my god, I am so sorry! Double boohoo for you, Y/N!"

Before you can even retort her, Jessica continue, "You know what Y/N, you better stop pestering Cheollie from now on because," she paused her word for a second as she look down on her stomach and caressing it gently before she carry on, "Well, because he's going to be the father to our child! I'm pregnant with Cheollie's child, Y/N! It's wonderful, isn't?" Armed with a lovely and gentle smile as her disguise, the bomb of a news that she throws at you makes your heart shattered completely, making you feel empty inside like a broken doll.

"What did you just say?" You can't help it but to question her again, as you're unwilling to believe the news you just heard.

"I'm pregnant with Cheollie's child, silly Y/N! Well, it's just been for like, 3 weeks old, but-" you cannot bring yourself to listen to the rest of her words as you cut her off with an emotionless 'congratulation' and make a bee-line towards your car outside the ER. Rebecca silently followed you out, not missing the evil, psycho grin from Jessica after you left.

"You've got the recording, right?" You asked Rebecca once you both boarding the car. "Yes, President. I'll settle this matter as soon as possible."

"Good. Make sure she reap a dozen of what she sow this time. I think I had enough of her antics in this life." You gave her your final sentence grudgingly while holding onto your injured hand.

*

"Boss, we found her. She just came out from AV Hospital after her appointment with an O&G specialist. We've looked into the system and found out that," a little hesitation coming from the other side of the line before gathering their courage to continue the report, "well, we discovered that Jessica is currently bearing a child, about 3 weeks old."

There you have it. The deathly report has been conveyed to the hell king and its only a matter of time for the hell to break loose.

"Find out who's the father is no matter the method and don't let this news spread, especially not to Y/N. If she come to realize this because of your incompetant, you know whats coming for you." Before Seungcheol got their acknowledgement on their new mission, his henchmen disclose the information he dreaded the most where you already knew the pregnancy news from none other than Jessica herself.

An eerie silence from Seungcheol's side makes them break into a very cold sweat.

All hell will break loose soon indeed.

*

"I can work anywhere I want, right? Right Becca?" Your ride from the hospital has been masked with a serene silence until you broke it by asking the question out of the blue.

"Of course, President. Wherever you are, I'll tag along and do my best to assist you." Determined to stay by your side, Rebecca will go anywhere with you as long as you bring her along. That's her promise when she started her service in your company.

"No, Becca. I need you to stay here, to keep all the staff in check for me. I won't be out for long, maybe a couple of months, or maybe a year, top." Smiling, you carry on with your words, "I think my heart needs some healing I never knew I needed, Becca. And its definitely not here." A stream of tears gushing out from your eyes as you can't seem to hold back your sadness any longer. Rebecca can't help it but to engulfed you into the tighest hug ever as a way to console you, even for a little while.

You asked the driver to drop you off at Mingyu's house and once again, you can't keep your tears in when he's already standing tall on his yard, barefoot and looking anxious while waiting for you. He streched his long legs towards your side and give you a big bear hug that you deserve. Rebecca bow respectfully to you both and quietly leave you with Mingyu as she knew you are in good hands.

After Mingyu heard the shocking revelation from you, he can't help but to narrated a long, colourful curses to both Seungcheol and Jessica for doing this to you.

"I swear I'll give them a piece of my mind when we meet up. Gosh, this is so frustrating! What's in his mind that he have the heart to treat you like this?!" Said Mingyu while angrily chopping poor potatoes and tomatoes to make you some of your favourite hot soup of his. His cooking has never ceased to amaze you and you love every single thing about it.

You both take your seat at the dining table once Mingyu finished his cooking. Gosh, his cooking definitely a precious gift from the heaven. "Gyu, may I ask you a favour?" You meekly asked Mingyu about the decision you've made this afternoon. Mingyu put down his spoon to give you his full attention and motioning you to continue.

"I want to go somewhere far away from here. A place where Seungcheol can't find me eventhough he might not and I know you're the only one who can outsmart him on this, well maybe Jeonghan too. Will you help me?" Taking your uninjured hand in his, he agreed readily to your request and he already got some place in mind that he'll share with you later. You thank him for always be there for you before you both heard the door bell ringing.

Bethany and Wonwoo both engulfed you in a tight group hug, well, with a carefully hugging session of course, to avoid any more injury there is.

"I wish I could just chop both of that bitch's hand! Why is she not changing at all? After all these years and she's still playing this snatching game? What a loser!" Bethany can't contain her anger as she stabbed the poor potato in her soup bowl.

"Actually, I just have this one speculation on my mind after the day we found out about your breakup with Seungcheol hyung." All eyes and ears are on Wonwoo and he continue his theory after he got the attention he need.

"I just don't understand why Seungcheol hyung suddenly acted this way. Like, we all knew him for a long time even before you two started dating, right? He's not someone whom will cheat on his partner no matter how short the relationship last between them. Look, I know people can change anytime but old habit die hard, right? So my conclusion here is, I think what is currently going on between the two of you and that bitch Jessica might not be 100% of Seungcheol hyung's fault. Something more might be behind it than the one that meets the eye."

Quietness engulfed everyone in the dining room with all eyes on Wonwoo, feeling both amazed and shocked. Hence, Bethany decided to fill it with her witty remark.

"Wow. I never knew you can speak that long, Wonu-ya. That's a very suprising fact about you that I've learn today. Maybe we can give you some more brain exercise for you to think rather than letting your brain to rot with all those games that you played."

Loud laughter erupted throughout the house and Wonwoo just smile shyly while eating his soup.

"Well, Wonu does have a point there. But no worries. I'll help you investigate this matter while you're resting, love. I might also deliver Seungcheol hyung a punch or two as an early payment." Another laughter erupted and it's caused by Mingyu this time.

After some movie marathon and a few bowl of popcorn, you all decided to retire for the night and retreat to Mingyu's guest room upstairs.

"Have you inform your parents about your upcoming departure?" Beth cuddles you on the bed.

"Not yet. Maybe tomorrow. I guess they'll be cool about it, right?" Your parents is not strict, but they do appreciate it if you and your brother update them about your life every now and then. They did sent their own men to guard you from afar but, hearing from you personally is much better.

"I'm so proud of you, Y/N. Seungcheol has been comfortable long enough that he forgot to cherish you the way you should be. For now, just focus on your own healing and let the past stays in the past. The truth will come out eventually and all we have to do now is to wait." Bethany stroke your hair gently and soon you both slowly drift into your own dreamland, feeling safe and sound in each others arm.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️

That is all for part 3 of I Love You.

I don't know if you like them but feel free to your two cent in the comment so I can improve my future writing🫶

Thank you for reading, my lovelies and we'll see each other in the next chapter!^^

[lire-casander]

i hear your name in every word i say

surprise! i bet you didn't expect me to post today, did you? well, @wtfuckevenknows @moviegeek03 and @laelipoo did (because you're such enablers and you know it!), but i wanted to keep this as much a secret and a surprise as i could because i didn't know whether or not i could be able to post this in time.

special thanks go to @morganaspendragonss and @de-ligts for the fastest beta-reading in the whole world. you guys rock!

if you're reading on a computer, please roll over the spanish texts to find the translation. if you aren't and need translation, please let me know and i will do my best to come back to you with it asap!

the title and quote from last part of this story come from hanson's song every word i say. but there are more songs by them that have inspired me to write this story, especially underneath, a song to sing, save me, never let go, and with you in your dreams. if you've been around long enough, you probably know by now that they're my comfort band, and they've got a song for every single emotion out there. name one emotion, i can easily quote a hanson song back at you.

you will also find quotes from ronen and rafael's exclusive interview with entertainment weekly.

i hope you enjoy reading this fic as much as i've enjoyed (and cried) writing it. i started this without having watched the finale, so at some point it might be a bit off, but no matter what, this is what i would have liked the wedding and the vows to go. just like i did a couple of years back, this story is written for me. i've tried to convey all i felt while watching this season, discovering new sides of my favorite characters and facing some things, such as grief and pain and self-growth alongside them. sometimes a person needs to do something that's deeply and intrinsically for themselves.

this is one of those times.

i love you all. thanks for being here with me this time around, and here's for another revolution around the sun!

i hear your name in every word i say

masterlist of fics here

sitting all alone in this place

even though we're here face to face

there is nothing gone

but there's something wrong

can't you see that i'm stuck here underneath

TK never thought he’d be in this situation on his wedding day. If he’s being honest with himself, four years ago he wouldn’t have even believed he was worthy of love, much less worthy of being loved so much that someone might want to tie the knot with him. But it’s not the wedding he’s worried about. They’ve postponed everything on Carlos’ request, and they will find another venue and another date that’s not so close to Gabriel’s passing, so it doesn’t hold bad memories for Carlos and his family. He knows Carlos asking for a bit of time and space doesn’t mean he doesn’t love TK anymore; he’s grown confident enough in the love they share to be aware of that. But there’s more to it than just Carlos dealing with his feelings, and TK can’t help it.

He’s worried about Carlos. That’s what true love, soulmate-level love, does to a person.

When there’s an illness, the family has some time to get used to the idea. Not to accept it, because nobody’s wired to accept death without fighting it. But the little time the illness grants gives a little perspective, precious minutes to say goodbye, to honor that person. But when death falls upon people like a stone thrown into a river, there’s no time for anything but crying, no space for anything but anger.

TK knows it well.

Carlos hasn’t been sleeping at all. TK gets it — when his mother passed, he’d fallen into unhealthier patterns than not sleeping. But it’s one thing not to sleep a wink at night and then fall asleep briefly on the couch, and a completely different thing to not want to sleep. Gabriel’s loss is still recent, merely hours, not even a full day; it’s expected that his family won’t be able to function properly yet. But Carlos’ attitude is different. Carlos isn’t just angry.

Carlos is plotting vengeance.

And it’s not that TK doesn’t get it. He does; oh, boy, does he. It’s that he knows the toll it will take on Carlos’ soul — Carlos, who has never intentionally harmed anyone, is now planning an intervention, thinking about going full Rambo on some suspect they’re not even sure is the one behind the shooting. TK doesn’t know how to help his fiancé without causing more damage that could probably be permanent. He’s aware of the stubbornness of grief and the insanity of mourning.

Neither suits Carlos, but TK can’t do anything about it without breaking the trust that he’s promised to keep.

keep reading on ao3

[turbulentscrawl]

hi hi! i hope you're doing well ^^ i'd love to request a match up if that's okk!

i use they/them pronouns, dress mostly in masc/androgynous clothing and prefer feminine terms/pet names (a whole shit show i know 🥴). i'm demiromantic/demisexual and would prefer being matched with a male if that's okk. i'm INFP 9w1, neutral good, leo rising, libra sun, pisces moon.

as far as personality goes, i'm described by others as open minded, slightly extroverted, blunt, honest, witty and flirty. while i am aware that i am indeed all these things, it's mostly a facade. i tend to be shy, introverted, can seem pretty cold and distant if you only see me from afar and don't approach me but i just have a hard time showing love and care so openly unless i'm comfortable with the person. not sure if you know these characters, but mostly like a vanitas, dazai, scaramouche, lyney type beat personality.

to expand a bit more on the outer personality, i do tend to be flirtatious towards people who i know i have an effect on or are easily flustered, it's pretty fun and cute to see how they react. all fun and games till someone pulls a reverse card on me tho, if someone tries to do the same to me, i immediately get flustered and stumble over my words because i genuinely never expect the reciprocation. as for inner personality, i did say im not so open about showing love and care unless im comfortable with the person but once i am comfortable enough, i go to hell and back to smother them with so much love, especially with gifting things and lengthy paragraphs (because im bad verbally). what does get me to fold most of the time is someone straightforward, doesn't beat around the bush on what they want to say or do because i do like being caught off guard by such people and it just makes me happy (and quite flustered) knowing that they're so open about it.

i'm currently in university studying communications so my interest mostly are in medias like socials, tv, movies, radio, photography, etc. my main focuses are tv and photography however. with tv, i really enjoy the behind scenes work of it. being able to set up the space and bring it to life. just seeing your creation put into motion is just the most satisfying feeling ever. as for photography, i just enjoy the serenity of it (as if i'm not cursing the weather and people that get into a shot every 5 minutes but anyway), it's very calming in its own way. i have a personal preference for landscape photography since nature and ambiance itself have a lot to offer/say for itself but really i'm just bad at telling others how to pose and what emotion to convey. i just prefer to let them do their own thing unless there's something in particular i really want.

i tend to daydream a lot, like excessively. maladaptive daydreaming go brrr, bUT ANYWAY. i could go on hours and hours daydreaming, that type of daydreaming that got you walking around the house and shit to help you envision things better. because of the excessive daydreaming, i do sometimes write but only when i'm feeling down or stressed as a way to cope.

another thing that i do is watch a lot of videos and movies. i mostly watch fantasy related movies and my all time favorite movie is coraline, with nightmare before christmas in second place. i have an absolute soft spot and big love for stop motion movies and love watching the behind the scenes of it, for any movie tbh because i just love seeing how things come to life and how the crew works to create such things. for videos, it's just watching others talk while they play a game or do something. i just like hearing people talk about things they're doing or enjoy while they're actively doing something, it keeps me engaged.

i do game a lot! mostly genshin and idv, but i do play a few other games as well and i'm willing to try any game once if someone asks, especially if it's a multiplayer/coop game since i feel like games are more enjoyable with other people. hmm, other things i do are book readings and tarot! i have a lot of fantasy books that i've bought over the years as well as many tarot decks (my wallet is not okay 💀😭). tarot in particular is something i've always been fascinated and interested in so i've researched and gotten into it for a few years now!

not really sure what else to say about me tbh so i hope this is enough 😭 thank you in advance!

I Ship You With Andrew Kreiss!

-Andrew does better with people who aren't social butterflies (because it allays his fears that you prefer the other people you speak to over him), and who like to keep the peace (because they're often good for helping with Andrew's constant grumpy-boy miscommunication.) He's also a bit slow to warm to people, but it sounds like you're a bit of the same, albeit with better manners.

-A fun mix, Andrew is blunt enough and you flirty enough that you constantly fluster one another. He's crass and direct, and though he may stutter and flush beet-red sometimes, Andrew is usually good about telling people what he wants. He's also not used to people complimenting or flattering him, so he flusters easily. You're constantly blushing around one another.

-He's mostly indifferent to your daydreaming. Andrew is more philosophical than he lets on, and you two could easily have an hour or two of lounging in the gardens, you zoned out and him contemplating life. Alternatively, just leave your lap open so he can take a nap. Andrew loves to have his hair played with.

-Andrew lacks any real "hobbies" as most of his life up to this point has been consumed with the church and survival. He's likely to follow you around as you engage in yours and try to figure out if they're things he's interested in as well. I don't think he's likely to be a tech-y guy even in a modern world, so he's more liable to read a book along with you than play a video game.

-Photography might actually help Andrew with some of his self-image issues! Getting him to pose would be a hard-won battle, but if you take a lot of candid pictures of Andrew, and especially if you fawn over them, it gives him a lot to think about. At some point, he has to accept that you don't find him monstrous in any way.

Runner Up: Naib Subedar

[molter-writes]

Aaaaaahhhh the prequel, it’s so good! I love the way you’ve captured their dynamics, and how starkly this underlined the growth they undergo during the main story, and which will begin here.

I’ve spent the weekend plotting a story in the vein of this AU (an ode to it if you will, and if I may be allowed to presume) that’s gotten rather huge and complex and so remain in awe at how well you’ve managed to convey the characters we love and their relationship so well. Their conflict is delicious.

dayneonychus!!!! you GOAT!!!!

thank you so much for reading this and even more for caring enough to come talk to me about it. i am so so so grateful. endlessly, thank you. and I can’t fucking wait to read your fic!!!

this does barely touch on something i've hesitated for a while to note (but, with profuse preemptive apologies, is really not at all about your ask --i'm just about to word vomit on it) but something I think I just want to say so I’ve said it—

i've seen some grey ridge homages (great) (love) (eat them like candy). i've seen even more grey ridge ripoffs. from full scenes (chapter 6, rifting through lawyer documents together sitting on the floor to solve a basically identical lawsuit) to specific details (rhaenyra gives alicent her mother’s red diamond ring.) these have ranged from being almost entirely unread to garnering more hits and kudos than grey ridge itself. i know it’s a popular fic, and it was an early modern AU of this pairing, and sometimes fics create trends (was told I started “Alicent does finance” but no idea if true). but i have only started to care as it has impeded my ability to enjoy other rhaenicent fics myself. i will never forget opening a rhaenicent kids au with jubilation only to read a 'miscarriage scare' scene that was a nearly perfect play-by-play of that one scene from chapter 3 of grey ridge (down to the placenta explanation!! which i'd googled on a whim!!). nothing quite like the anguish of realizing you’ve been plagiarized (and then trying to gaslight yourself out of fairly obvious evidence.) i pour my soul into my shit and it's important to me. i also love our tag. i want to enjoy it. i miss comfort reading.

look. fanfic is obviously derivative. i’m not claiming to have invented pain or loss or billionaires or placental detachment or sitting on floors. and hey, i'm not the ao3 police, everyone's going to do what they think is right. but as I’ve always understood it - themes, tropes, motifs are communal; whole scenes, specific plots, and unique identifiable details are not. and it’s so simple to just pay homage. idk. i know i'm preaching to the choir here (so thanks for letting me preach.)

anyway thanks for letting me get that off my chest on your ask. just reminded me of some shit on my mind & i hope you’re not sitting there thinking “thanks for this screed, too bad i caught molter on the saltiest night of the year”. i really can't wait to read it. and i hope everyone else reading this will look out for it, too. (tag me so i can hit it with the reblog when it's out).

thank you for caring about this work. it's physically insane to me that you or anyone else does and i am more grateful than you know. see you on the flip side when i burn out through another chapter of wlw agony.

[chaotic-on-main]

Hi Sky! I’m so excited to get to you as a writer (and read more of your stuff). 💕 3,10,19 for the ask game.

Hi Sailor!! Thank you so much for dropping in my ask box! I'm really excited to get started on your request, it means a lot that you would trust me with it. I hope you're having a lovely day/evening wherever you are in the world! ☺️💕

3. What makes you love writing?

Truthfully I just love writing because I love spending hours penning down my daydreams. Sometimes just imagining isn't enough, I need to have it memorialized in writing. I don't usually go back to reread my fics so I just assume I enjoy the process of getting to create that world and that story with my own fingertips and moving on to the next.

10. Which patterns keep popping up in your characters/projects?

I am a very expository heavy writer. I like dialogue, and I don't think I'm bad at it. Snarky fun quips and surface level conversations are great! But I find I prefer to describe the surroundings as well as the characters actions in as much depth as possible to make you really feel and understand the setting. This is an ongoing theme in pretty much everything I write (even some hcs).

You can see this in Unspoken Words. My reader is mute, and I think it's because I subconsciously wanted to focus on the actions and thoughts of the reader instead of dialogue heavy scenes. Not to mention I always see Levi as a man who shows his love through gestures, looks, and intentions. It just works out for me. ☺️

Also I do tend to either go for a shy, sweet reader or a sarcastic, fun reader. Hm, also eyes and mouths! I do like to focus on facial features especially the eyes and mouths.

19. Do you plan out your projects? If yes, to what level? How well do you stick to your plans?

Oh man. If you asked me this a couple months ago I would have said, "I don't really!" Deadass I used to just jot down basic notes like "reader and Levi go on a drive" and "it's late at night" and "they kiss on a cliff somewhere" and then call it a day lmfao. You'd be surprised but 80% of my writing is off the cuff.

I know this isn't the question but my writing process involves me envisioning the scene/story like a director behind the camera lens. I'm just dictating where things go and how they happen as I see it. So I don't really have planning, things just happens as I write.

It is to my detriment as I am a very slow writer because of it, not to mention the overwhelming anxiety of it.

LATELY I've incorporated my own messy way of @humanitys-strongest-bamf outline technique. I'll literally write a short sentence for each paragraph/couple of sentences to convey what I want to happen and then move on to the next as I'm visualizing the story. It has helped my writing TREMENDOUSLY. Who knew preparing something would make your life so much easier? 😅

For example for my elevator kissing scene, I'd write something like: "Levi looks at you before pushing you up against a wall" and then move on to the next scene.

send me a writer's ask!! 💕

[mysticscorpia]

Hi! Hope you're doing well! For the writing asks: 2, 17, 29 ♥️

Hiya Sloane! :D I hope you're doing well too! 😊

Oooo

2) Anything you'd like to write but feel like you're unable to?

Well, it's probably quite a common answer, but probably a smut/smutty scene! Even kissing is something I know better, but have confidence issues with how well I write it :'), how genuine it feels. I definitely think I could try and do smut, but feeling unable to do it any sort of justice! I'll leave it up to the talented phic writers, such as yourself 🥰 and all the well-loved phic writers who breach into smut! One day, one day I'll settle myself down to write one... ;)

And actually, as a general thing, I would say any AU that devles outside of the Orginal Time Period or Modern. I would hella love to write a 1920's Great Gatsby x Phantom Crossover so bad, but have a worry I wouldn't convey it well enough to taste the time period!

17) Past or Present Tense? Why?

Dang gurl this hard 🤣. I love present tense - there's so much immeasurable intimacy about it, especially in a high tension scene (I often find myself slipping into it if I'm writing something like that), and sometimes intense characters catapult me to this tense.

Buttt, generally I find myself writing past tense because of how I was taught and where it tends to be with the natural placement of my writing!

29) What's the hardest thing about writing?

Yikes, can thee list thy many ways of torture of thou writingness?

Excuse my appalling Shakespearean there

There are so many things...

However ~

I think being able to not loose faith in yourself is the hardest. Whether that's brought on by one negative comment, or the fear you have for your characters being too 1 Dimensional, or the simple issue of being so mentally drained you cannot find the muse to write for a good number of months and fear that love will never ever return,... The faith in yourself is part of what helps you write, trusting your gut whether it's on a word you find that snags, or knowing the love of writing will continue - will not abandon you and leave you voiceless.. That's the hardest part for me! Everything else is fixable, because time and practice can be and will always be there... But if you loose faith in yourself, then none of those will matter :)

Thank you so much for the asks! ^^ 🙏

[depressivecomforts]

i wonder if i was ever truly loved. at any point. by them. how can you raise your hand against your child and still say you love them? how can you neglect me and still smile as if it never happened?

i've pondered the meaning of life for so many years, and still cannot come up with a good enough answer. is there one at the end of the day?

"you can't love others if you don't love yourself."

does that mean i cannot love my friends and lover despite how i feel during bad days? does a hatred born from circumstance really invalidate my ability to feel? i know i love them all. i love my aunt. my friends. all past lovers and current one i have, i love with such a burning passion that almost feels overwhelming. because it is so much easier to love them than myself. it's so much easier to wrap them around my arms, kiss them and protect them, than myself.

how do you want me to love myself if i was never taught? just like they wanted me to complete math problems when i couldn't understand them. not being taught.

i used to feel like an adult in a child's body.

now i'm a child in an adult's body.

i can't do this anymore.

it hurts.

it hurts to the point i want to wail and rip out my throat and heart to make it stop, but i can't.

the lump in my throat is something that never lessens, a familiar feeling across the years that always returns with the same tightness as the first time.

when was the first time?

when will be the last time?

i know it gets easier and better with time.

i made a choice to keep going with this hope in mind.

i was proven right.

but the process is so, oh so slow, sometimes it feels like i go back in time.

it's funny. it's ironic.

how funny it is that we the depressive ones are the loneliest. so much awareness, so many that could understand us, and yet they never fully do. do we even understand ourselves? emotions are so complicated, but i'm still not fully sure if numbness is better. sometimes a welcome respite, other times a prison.

i don't want to fuck anything up. he already went through his own bullshit. he deserves the world. fuck, the universe even. and yet i keep bleeding, the scab never fully closed. always reopening when the band-aid is ripped off. i don't wish to bleed all over him.

oh to crave, and yet not want to be a burden.

is it selfish or selfless?

loving others while i weep inside, knuckles closed accompanying a tight-lipped smile. i crave and crave like a bottomless pit. will i swallow others whole? leave them empty shells while i try to quell my hunger and thirst?

an apology i deserve but will never get.

that's what keeps hurting, keeps making me sob internally ever since she first told me that.

because it's true.

i deserve that apology. i deserve their apologies. will i ever get them? no.

and i must heal with that in mind. must fix what they damaged. myself.

broken, having to make my fingers bleed as i painstakingly put the pieces together, burning my skin with the hot glue gun.

i keep thinking of this japanese habit of fixing broken things with liquid gold. it's gorgeous. i wish that could apply to me. but no amount of gold will make an ugly, broken vase any prettier.

i know i never deserved it. that was another painful lesson. the amount of years i believed it was somehow my fault. but if it wasn't, why? why was i unloved?

an artist i am, yet no amount of words or canvases will ever convey this pain. there are no amount of words that will ever truly send the message through, and yet it's a pain i wouldn't wish on anyone. it drowns you. it swallows you.

it chokes you.

to laugh is to cry. to cry is to laugh. because taking that last step and going over the edge will make others cry for you. i'd rather not hurt anyone, because i know what it feels like to be hurt.

i've been called strong and brave for not doing it. for not following in my mother's footsteps. having so many chances and reasons, and yet waking up each day. taking another inhale. another exhale.

i used to call myself a coward for that.

afraid of death while craving it like a long lost lover. an embrace.

deep breaths. in and out. 4, 6, 8. repeat.

i must become responsible and maintain control despite wanting to drop the reins and let the cart fall over the edge of the hill. never had the chance to be a kid, it was ripped out. now that i have a choice, it's not an option.

it's unfair and cruel. yet i must suck it up and deal with it.

i want to scream.

scream and wail and sob.

i can't.

i'd bother others.

so keeping quiet is all i can do. hide the tears and say "i'm fine." because if i reveal it all, it'd be too much for others to bare. it's not even their burden to bare, but mine and mine alone. a bag that i must empty step by step, so heavy no matter how my back becomes straighter with every papercut healed. because the deep gaping wound is still bleeding and not healing. will it ever fully heal? or will it just be covered by a scab that will keep reopening when prodded?

i'm so tired. i'm so sorry.

i've been exhausted for so long.

holding this luggage for so long.

it doesn't fully get easier, despite how each breath fills the lungs a bit more with each intake.

this desire i have of falling into another's arms, be embraced and heard. to be understood and reassured as my tears fall and fall. it's something i've desired for far too long. but if i do that, i'd hurt them. i could hurt him.

the broken ones stay together. licking each other's wounds and letting them weep on our shoulders in a show of mutual understanding. a shared pain.

if only sharing my pain wouldn't bring consequences. i'd drop it without a second thought. without hesitation. but doing so would weight others down. i cannot allow that. i can't bring myself respite at the cost of others.

i know it's selfless. i know i'm allowed to be selfish. i can't bring myself to be.

my pain could push others away. perhaps it already has in the past. i don't wish to end up all alone.

more than i already am.

it's lonely here.

surrounded by others yet not quite accompanied.

i crave. yet i forbid myself to take.

what is it like to take?

what is it like to claim?

no consequences, no exchanges, no nothing. just be able to take what has been denied for so long. will it heal me or break me? would it make a difference? would it matter at the end of the day?

this life is far too cruel.

why must it be so?

if we deserve to be loved and cared for, then why were we denied such things in the first place? why were we hurt by those that were supposed to hold our hands and protect us?

forced to learn to protect ourselves with what little choice we had. the lack of control that we now suddenly have seems to drive so many crazy. i crave it too. but i've seen what they can do.

is this why i've lasted so long?

seen the consequences of their actions and chose to not follow the same path, this is the only reason i'm still alive.

i've come to learn and despise how their pain doesn't excuse ours and yet it somehows seems to do so. gives a reason no matter how unfair it is. and we're supposed to accept it for what it is?

pain shifts to anger.

anger shifts to sadness.

sadness to grief.

it's a cycle well known.

a painful comfort that keeps destroying from within its familiarity.

our start a painful bumpy road, now we must rewrite our fate before we take the last fall.

a river of blood that we must tear to shreds and refill. cleanse and clean by ourselves.

stone by stone.

drop by drop.

lest we succumb.

would succumbing mean an end to it all? would it be like the salve that heals the burn? i crave to know. i crave to feel that relief. but i know that there would be no going back. a door that would permanently close.

for some reason that i yet fail to understand, i must keep walking. i must keep going. i'm told it's called hope. i fail to see it as such. maybe it's because walking forward is all i've ever been able to do, all i've ever done. can that be considered brave when every step has my chest heaving with each breath i take?

saying "i'm tired" is an understatement of this entire thing.

yet it somehow covers it all.

because that's what it is at the end of the day. tiring. exhausting.

and i shall create a circle out of this.

anger.

sadness.

grief.

pain.

repeat.

i know i don't deserve such a fate. but the unknown is scarier than it might seem.

this painful familiar feeling has been with me forever. and if i could, i'd let it be my companion until i reach my grave.

heal.

why?

why should i heal?

because i deserve to live?

why was i born then?

questions that might never get answered.

once again, another morning i wake.

once again, another breath i take.

[chaotiktik]

Posting this for accountability to myself HEHE will keep adding to this until I finish writing all my thoughts down hehe yay me

--

Writing about Collen is not easy. I get so many words jumbled because my brain is not just wired right anymore. It's so hard to write, for fuck's sake, everyone who writes knows that.

And for all the feelings involved in this, I don't think there are enough words to convey how I truly feel. But we'll try today.

We fought a whole lot the last week and personally, it was a particularly hard battle to go through. I even wrecked my phone last Thursday night, so that made it impossible for me to recover faster. The phone was valuable to me as it contained my whole relationship with Collen. Granted I backed up some of the online files and other photos/videos, but most of the screenshots and screen recordings and other photos I hold dear are still in the internal memory - I was devastated to say the least.

-- Friday

But Friday came and though I wanted to get my phone fixed and my dogs groomed, my resolve was that I had to see Collen because honestly, at this point, that's the only thing that will probably help with my mental wellness. So I went to the office where she was working overtime.

Goddamn, I felt so guilty for not being okay because she was extra sweet. She was trying her best to keep me afloat (and even fed huhu) despite how busy she was. There are a lot of days like that now that I don't feel like I have a hold on myself anymore but she keeps me sane as best she can given our circumstances.

We even went out that night with a friend, but I loved that small adventure I had with her. I feel bad sometimes that I'm not rich or capable enough that we commute when coming home to our place, but I'm thankful she goes to these adventures with me too.

Friday was amazing, I felt like a huge chunk of what I was bringing left me. Collen is wonderful, she tries her darndest, and I love that so much about her. I am a fucking pain in the ass most days, and she still keeps up with me, I don't know how she does it.

-- Saturday

I'm thankful I got to spend the night with her. I've spent a whole lot of nights with her the last two months. I've been over at their place the last I don't know how many weeks now and though I've loved spending time with her at their place and bonding with her family, this is the only time for a long time, Vietnam excluded, that we have had private moments alone.

It's been the same routine every time she sleeps over - it's a struggle to wake her up what more a little early lmao. Granted we have sponty plans for the day to watch UAAP basketball games at the MOA Arena, so it was a must that I wake her up earlier than planned. But I loved this weird routine I have with her, it's the loud yet comfortable silence with a few random conversations in between that I really enjoy.

On to lunch, and I don't think I have ever felt this with anyone else - that swelling of happiness I feel whenever I see her talk to my parents about anything and everything. I've always been really talkative and I guess I get that from both my parents, so seeing her entertain all that talk without skipping a beat is just touching for me. We almost didn't make it out the house since both of them were really just not out of stories to tell her.

After our brief lunch with the parents, we had to commute to the Arena in my hopes of making it at least halfway through the UST game. I was so guilty since I didn't manage our time well and of course we were gonna be late already, but she was just pushing through the commute with me, even if she was already tired and commute-sweaty and a bit sleepy since I forgot to offer her coffee at home (as a non-coffee enthusiast, I MUST remember this na talaga!!!). We got to the Arena - and man the suite! a must to experience really - at least halfway through the game which UST lost, but it was a fun game to watch. We stayed there for another game during which I had fun just randomly conversing and making fun of other people and being all serious and cheering with her. I have always enjoyed any time I spend with her, but just being/feeling young again with little worries in the world makes it a tad better.

Our adventure didn't stop there for we had another commute back to Trinoma to catch a movie - A Very Good Girl! a must-watch, honestly! Kathryn is a fucking revelation. I have been badgering her to watch this on a movie date since the teaser trailer came out, and I honestly already forgot because of how long it's been, but she remembered and asked me out to watch after the game; extremely touched she did as I already let go of the idea. Anyway, we did commute back to Quezon City - during which a pervert on the train kept looking at her and that made me really pissed hay fucking perverts talaga! - and rushed through our ~sponsored~ dinner date just to be able to catch the film. I enjoyed that sponty date with her, even when it was such a hassle commuting everywhere and just trying to make time.

Truthfully, I enjoy any time I get to spend time with her especially when we go on dates outside. Much as all of our house dates are really fun, going out with her feels like a quick refresh on everything that's been happening within our relationship and our individual lives as well. Collen is such a bright ball of sunshine and I could honestly use that a lot more these days. Most days I feel like just being with her heals my inner child and helps with some of my adult traumas somehow and I'm so thankful I have her.

-- Sunday

Sunday was a reset of sorts. We had the whole day to ourselves and we just spent it being together - talking, having fun, resting, watching, spending some time with my parents and the dogs. As usual, we got up a little too late and spent too much couple time in my room alone that my dad teased us once we got downstairs that it's already too late that we're having breakfast, lunch, and dinner in just one meal. She was also so excited to make her own coffee that day, even watched so many videos on Youtube just to perfect it.

Gonna add to this some moreeee

-- Monday

[chaoslynx]

hii can you do asheiji hurt/comfort from eiji pov?? i know that is most of the banana fish fanfictions in existence but i will never stop loving asheiji hurt/comfort ❤️

send a character to my inbox (with or without a prompt) and I’ll attempt to write 200+ words from their POV!

"Breathe with me," Eiji whispers. "Can you do that for me?"

Ash nods. It's a little too frantic, a little too desperate, but he's trying. Almost too desperate to please, sometimes, but they're working on that. Just like everything else: together.

"Okay. With me. In? Two, three, four. Hold. Ready? Out. Two, three, four." Eiji repeats the process a few times, squeezing Ash's hands when he starts to drift again.

Eiji used to snap out the counts, but they figured out rather quickly that the snapping made Ash more anxious, and that Eiji's touch was grounding to him. It works the same way for Eiji; Ash is grounding. 

They both have trouble believing that the other one is real, sometimes, Eiji thinks.

"How are we doing?" Eiji asks, once Ash is breathing steadily on his own. We, with Ash. He likes words like we, or us. Anything to remind him that Eiji is here with him, and always will be.

"Sorry," Ash mumbles. He curls in on himself—small.

Ash told Eiji once that he used to make himself look vulnerable intentionally, to lure people in. He said it to defend the people who hurt him, like it was any less reprehensible to attack someone who seems vulnerable. Like it was any less tragic that Ash needed to make himself a target.

"You're okay. It's all okay," Eiji murmurs back. Another thing they learned together; it's okay works, or nothing to be sorry for—but anything along the lines of don't apologize will swallow them whole.

"It wasn't even that bad," Ash whimpers. And no, maybe the sound that went off outside their apartment wasn't that bad. A car backfiring, maybe—Eiji hardly noticed it, so he's not really sure. But maybe it was just similar enough to a gunshot, just enough to send Ash back.

In that sense, anything can be that bad.

But Ash still struggles to see it that way, Eiji knows.

"We're okay, yeah?" Eiji murmurs. "You didn't do anything wrong."

Ash nods, and even just that action seems calmer already than before.

"I'm proud of you," Eiji blurts.

"Huh?"

Eiji blushes. "Just—you're doing so well. I mean, after everything, I still ... oh, I don't know. I guess I'm saying that you give me hope."

Ash breathes out a laugh, and that alone makes Eiji smile. Shaking his head, Ash says, "I give you hope?"

"Well, yeah," Eiji insists. "How could you not? You're the e-e—"

"It's still pronounced epitome."

"—Embodiment of hope."

Ash laughs, a little more substantial now. "You're the first one to say that. Either of those," he adds.

Eiji doesn't think that's true, but it really doesn't matter whether he's the first or not. Ash is still synonymous with hope to him.

How does he convey that?

Eiji squeezes Ash's hands again, and Ash uncurls a little, coming back from his safe space within himself.

"You give me hope," Eiji repeats. "Seeing you live each day gives me the confidence to do the same. And—seeing you choose me, over and over ... makes me think that maybe it's worth it for me to live, too. Like, if you can love me, then I must be worth something, right?"

Ash's eyes widen. "If ... if you can love me, I must be worth something ... ?" he echoes.

Oh. Did he not have that realization yet? It's one that Eiji's been running on for a while.

Eiji ducks his head, embarrassed now. "Both ways, like always," he whispers. "I guess we're both worth it, then."

"... Yeah," Ash breathes. "I guess we have to be. If we can love each other."

Eiji glances up, and Ash is smiling.

Ash squeezes Eiji's hands this time.

"Here's to love," Ash says, and his voice is stronger now.

Eiji grins. "Here's to love."

[sleepdeprivedsloth]

OMG YES you don't understand how excited it makes me to see your requests open! I've been waiting for this moment for so long!! XD I would freakin LOVE to see what you do with Hinata and Kageyama! I personally prefer their platonic relationship and lee Kageyama has my whole heart, but I'd be 100% happy with whatever you decide to do!! For the numbers, maybe #6 and #19? Thanks so much for opening requests! I'm so excited you don't understandddd!!! <3 (Also I hope you feel better soon! ^^)

a/n: thank you so much for all the kind words!! ik it's been a (very long) while since the last time i posted, and i sincerely apologize for the wait! I"M SO GLAD THAT YOU REQUESTED PLATONIC KAGEYAMA AND HINATA BC THEIR FRIENDSHIP WAS SO FUN TO WRITE IN THIS!! hope you all enjoy :)

Someone Admitting Something

[Haikyuu - Hinata, Kageyama]

words: 1.4 k

#6: “Don’t you even dare touch me…”

#19: “Geez! You sure do squirm a lot!”

--

Some setter you turned out to be. Kageyama winced at the internal criticism, his movements sluggish as he packed up his belongings in the club room. Can’t even control something as simple as your timing.

It wasn’t even a real game, just another practice match against Seijoh, but that didn’t mean that it didn’t matter. Kageyama was off his game right from the start; the ball sat uncomfortably in his hands at every serve, his fingers clumsy with every set. He was losing more points than gaining, until he was benched and Sugawara subbed in for him. After Suga came into the picture, Karasuno was luckily able to turn the match around and earn a win against Abajo Sai. No thanks to Kageyama.

Why are you even on the team when you can’t help out during a match? Kageyama closed his eyes and sighed, feeling completely and utterly defeated.

“What’s taking you so long, slowpoke?” Kageyama’s eyes snapped open at the voice. Looking around, he realized that he and none other than Hinata Shoyo were the last two left. “Are you trying to race me to see who can take the longest to leave?!”

Kageyama looked back to Hinata with the most deadpan expression he could manage, hoping that his face was conveying just how stupid this thought was.

Unfortunately, the message went straight over the ginger’s head. “Ha! I accept your reverse-race challenge! Prepare to lose, Crappyama!” he exclaimed as he bent over to start untying his shoelaces in a slow motion type manner.

Kageyama only shook his head and continued to pack his things away, for once ignoring the childish competition proposed by his teammate.

“Kageyama?” Hinata asked, beginning to sense that something was off. The Kageyama he knew would never turn down a chance to one-up him, even if it was something as silly as a slow-mo race. “You doing okay, dude?”

“Do you prefer me or Sugawara?”

Utterly confused, Hinata could only respond with, “Huh??”

Kageyama looked down, his bangs covering over his eyes. “As a setter. Do you prefer to hit sets from me or Suga?”

“Oh, that’s an easy one! I prefer both of you!” Hinata replied, not missing a beat. “You guys are both super talented and experienced, so there’s no way I could only choose one of you.”

“Even after today?” Kageyama spoke barely above a whisper, his voice quieted by shame and regret. “Even after I was so useless to the team that Coach put me on the bench?”

Suddenly, Kageyama felt a pair of arms wrap around his lower ribs from behind him in a tight embrace. After the initial flinch from the unexpected contact, he looked back and saw a mess of orange hair pressed against his spine.

“Is this sad mood really because of the practice match?” Hinata mumbled into Kageyama’s back, sending shivers to run through the ravenette’s body. “It was one off day, dude. One bad game doesn’t determine your worth as a setter, especially when you’ve had so many great and amazing days!”

Kageyama shrugged away from Hinata’s hug and turned to face his teammate, raising his voice to argue, “All of those other days don’t matter if I can’t give you a good set when it actually counts!”

Throwing his arms exasperatedly into the air, Hinata was quick to shout back. “That’s why you have a whole team to back you up, stupid! If you give a bad set, the spikers will adjust. If your serves suck ass, we’ll prepare to go on the defense. If you’re feeling off your game, the team’s got your back! Coach didn’t put you on the bench because he thinks that you’re a bad setter, otherwise you wouldn’t be on the starting lineup! Suga subbed in for you to help out. That’s what a team does, for crying out loud!”

Kageyama could only stare into Hinata’s eyes, mouth slightly agape out of shock. He certainly didn’t expect to be lectured into feeling better. But the setter had to admit: his teammate wasn’t wrong.

“You got that, Sulkyama?!”

“Uh, yeah,” Kageyama breathed out, snapping out of his thoughts with a teasing smile spreading across his face. “Thanks, Shorty.”

Hinata crossed his arms in front of his chest and spoke with a playful sternness, “I don’t want a ‘thank you,’ I want you to admit it is okay for everyone to have bad days.”

With his usual, competitive attitude having returned, Kageyama challenged, “Isn’t my ‘thanks’ good enough for you? No way you’re getting my gratitude and me admitting anything as silly as that.”

“Oh yeah?” Hinata asked with a raised eyebrow, taking a step closer to his friend. “I bet I could make you.”

“Mhm, and how would you manage to do that?”

“I have my ways,” the ginger teased, raising his hands up and wiggling his fingers threateningly towards Kageyama.

The ravenette’s eyes widened, a wobbly smile already finding a place on his flustered face, knowing from experience what Hinata’s go-to cheer up tactic was. Backing away slowly, Kageyama warned, “Don’t you even dare touch me, you human tanger-IHIHIHIHINE! Nohohohoho!”

Before he could even finish, the shorter boy had rushed over and latched his hands onto Kageyama’s sides, wiggling all ten of his fingers into the sensitive flesh. And poor Kageyama had no time to even try and resist the bouts of laughter that started to flow out of him. Curse Hinata’s stupidly fast reflexes!

“I’m sorry, I didn’t quite catch that over your helpless laughter,” the ginger teased, moving his hands down to squeeze at Kageyama’s hips. The ravenette’s knees buckled as he slid down to the floor, but nevertheless Hinata’s ever-relentless squeezes followed. “Is there something you wanna admit for me, Sulkyama?”

“NahaHAHAhaha!!” Kageyama writhed underneath Hinata’s hands from his position on the floor, but despite his best efforts, he just couldn’t dislodge his friend’s torturous hands from his hips. “Gehehet your hands OHOHOFFA MEHEHEHE! Thehehere’s nothing to admiHIHIHIT!”

Hinata stopped his squeezes, but kept his hands firmly in place holding Kageyama down as he clicked his tongue in mock disappointment. “Nothing? Huh, that’s weird,” he spoke as his hands slithered down to rest on top of the ravenette’s thighs.

Kageyama’s breath hitched from the subtle contact, eyes widening in a giddy horror. “W-wait, no-”

“Because I could’ve sworn that someone needed to admit something,” Hinata gave a small squeeze to Kageyama’s thighs, watching with a smirk as the taller boy shrieked with a full body jolt. “And y’know what? This would be a perfect time to admit something before someone gets tickle-tickled somewhere that’s a little too tickle-ticklish~”

“Nohohoho!!” Kageyama’s hands grabbed desperately at Hinata’s, trying anything to get them off of him. Just the mere presence of those small torturous squeezers on his thighs was enough to make him giggle uncontrollably. “Nohohot thehehere! Plehehease, anywhere-”

“Anywhere but here?” Hinata teased with a few quick pinches. “Poor, ticklish Tobio. Whatever shall he do?”

“Nahahahaha, stahahahahahap!!”

“You know what I wanna hear, Ticklyama!” Finished with the taunting touches, Hinata grabbed onto the outer sides of Kageyama’s thighs and dug in with all his might, wiggling his fingers deep into the flesh.

“GAHAHAHAHAHAHA! NONONOHOHOHOHO!” Kageyama’s legs began kicking spontaneously, his waist bucking up into the air in a fruitless attempt to lessen the strong tickly sensations traveling throughout his entire lower body. “STAHAHAHAHAP!! PLEHEHEASE, I-IHIHI CAHAHAN’T!”

“Geez, Kageyama! You sure do squirm a lot!” Hinata exclaimed playfully, keeping a firm grip on his friend’s legs. “You know how to make me stop, just stop being so damn stubborn!”

“OKAHAHAY FIHIHINE!!” Kageyama gathered up all of his remaining strength and admitted in a single breath, “EVERYOHONE HAS BAHAHAD DAHAHAYS AND THAHAT’S OKAHAHAY!! NOW STOHOHOP!”

“Hmm, how about you also admit that you have a stupid face?” the ginger teased.

“SHOHOHOHOYO!!”

“Okay, okay, i guess you’ve had enough,” Hinata spoke with a fond smile, taking his hands off of Kageyama’s thighs after a few final pinches. After bouncing back onto his feet, he extended a hand towards his giggly friend and helped him off of the ground. “You feeling better?”

“Yeah, thahahanks,” Kageyama nodded his head as the last of his chuckles and titters slipped out. “Yohou can really be a little shihihit sometimes, you knohow that?”

“Oh please, you know you love it~”

“What?! Take that back, you turd face!”

“NAHAHAHA!! Wahahait, Kageyamahaha, I take it back! I TAHAHAKE IT BAHAHACK!!”

--

a/n: thanks for reading everyone! life update post coming soon :)

[azaleavi]

hi kat 💖 congrats again on 1.6K!!

for a yelena drabble: prompt #10 from this list where the reader tends to yelena after a mission? i'm a sucker for that 🥺

thank you cassie! 💖 i hope you like it!

10. when one of them is like… i don’t know… hurt or something… and the other one is just like… tending to their wounds… and then just like… wrap them into their arms… thankful that they’re alive…

word count: 460

warnings: mentions of injuries, fluff, pet name (baby)

She was hurt. She got hurt and you couldn't do anything about it. Well other than try to tend to her wounds which is what you are doing right now as the two of you are sitting on the edge of the bed in your room.

"I don't like it when you are hurt" you mutter under your breath as you soak a small ball of cotton in rubbing alcohol before dabbing it along the wound on her side.

"I know baby but it comes with the job" she tries to ease your worries but it doesn't help. Just because you know it will happen it doesn't hurt you less. You tell her every time she leaves to be careful but sometimes she gets hurt and you know it's not her fault. She is one of the best assassins in the world but she is still human. A mission can go wrong at any minute.

"It's not even that bad" she grabs your hands that are still fussing around the small gash. It really isn't that bad but your heart is telling you to make sure it will heal properly.

"You need to be more careful" you scold her as you put away everything you used.

"I don't know how much more careful I can be" she shakes her head with a small smile on her face.

"I can't lose you" the confession is quiet coming from your mouth but the effect is just the same on Yelena's heart. A small gasp leaves her lips as you wrap your arms around her torso, mindful of her wound.

"Baby" the pet name is the only thing that she can muster as you hide your face in her neck. Her hands splay out on your back pulling you closer. A slight pain shots through her side but she doesn't care, the only thing that matters is holding you right now.

"I really can't" you continue, your voice wavering "I want you here with me until we are both old and wrinkly" you try to joke but the sniffle that leaves you is a dead giveaway to how you feel.

"So come back to me every time you leave. Please" you plead. You know you are asking the impossible - accidents happen and it doesn't only depend on her.

"You are the reason I come back" she mumbles the words into your hair. Your heart skips a beat as your brain processes what she said. You pull away just enough to look into her gorgeous orbs. The emotions in them leave you breathless.

"I love you" it's not enough to convey how you feel but you can't say anything else.

"I love you too"

You sit there in your room, hearts beating for each other, your eyes telling the other what you can't put into words.

join the sleepover

[super-predictable98]

Make You Feel my Love | BNHA AU (1 YR special)

Warning: Strong language, little itty bitty angst

Word Count: 1,3k

a/n: So @myherokatsuki is the best and everyone knows that, but today we're celebrating our first year of friendship. Thank you for always being here for me, for being the best writing partner ever, for being my best friend through thick and thin. I hope I can always do the same for you. Love you to the moon and back <3

Masterlist

"Okay... I sense that you're not really in a great mood?" Kirishima asked as he entered Alma's room and even the lights were flickering with the power of her frustration. "Do you want me to distract you, talk about it, or leave and give you some space?"

She looked up at him and the lights finally turned off as she collapsed on her bed. "I need a shark hug," she cried, holding her arms open for him.

With a little smile, he jumped into her arms like a dog, covering her in kisses. The reason why he decided to visit in the first place was that Ji-ae had warned him of the fog seeping out from under Alma's door, meaning something bad was brewing in her brain or her heart.

"I'm the worst friend ever," she murmured, her eyes filled with tears.

"Why? I think you're a great friend!"

"You have to say that, it's your job."

"Before we were dating, we were friends and I promise I'm not just saying that to make you happy. I actually believe you are. Why are you feeling this way?"

Iwazaki sighed in the most dramatic fashion, as she does, and a pained sob escaped her lips. Her already puffy red eyes were leaking her sadness and the darkness in the room seemed to get even darker, if that was even possible.

"In two weeks it's our friendship anniversary, we were supposed to make each other gifts to celebrate. The problem is that I'm untalented, useless, unoriginal, a total piece of shit and I don't even deserve her as my friend."

Kirishima rolled over with a grunt, trapping his girlfriend in a firm embrace. She didn't seem to have problems coming up with gifts for the people she loved. For Christmas, she got him limited edition Crimson Riot merch, made a sweater for All Might from scratch, got everyone their favorite candy, sent a scarf to her mom, and... Oh yeah, what did she give Ji-ae?

Oh, that's right! She bought vintage games for her and a special console with pink glittery controllers. That was an amazing gift, or so he thought, why was she having such a hard time with this one?

"Why don't you ask Bakubro? I bet he'll know what she wants."

"Are you kidding me? I've been her friend for way longer than they've been dating, I know what she wants," Alma scoffed. Despite the fact that she was the one who set the two of them up, sometimes she was a little bit jealous of her best friend being so close to someone else. "The problem is that... I wanted to give her something we could enjoy together, I wanna pour my heart into that gift and make her happy. I want her to know how special she is to me, but nothing I can think of is genuine enough to convey those feelings."

"Hey! What the fuck is going on in there? I can hear you crying from across the hall, it's fucking annoying, floaty!" Bakugou banged on the door.

"Katsuki! Be nice!" Ji-ae hissed, holding his hand to stop him from hitting the door again. "Are you okay, Alma? Can we come in?"

"Sure, whatever," she replied, defeated.

"Great, we can solve this! Ji-ae, Alma is having a little issue with yo-" before Kirishima could finish his sentence, his girlfriend covered his mouth and shook her head in panic.

She didn't want her friend to worry or think that she was a burden in any way. Not to mention, she didn't wanna admit her own flaws, it was a little humiliating that she couldn't create something nice like the bouquet of origami roses Kendo made for Jicchan's birthday.

She couldn't make origami, she couldn't draw, or write, or paint, it was too hot for a knitted sweater, and they didn't share her interest in vintage collectibles.

"What's going on?" Ji-ae asked, turning the lights on to which Bakugou laughed.

"Fuck, you look rough," he glanced at Alma and she flipped him off. "What? You've got black shit all over your face from crying, you look like a monster from a horror movie."

"You look like your parents' biggest disappointment," she countered, not seeing how Katsuki was, in fact, worried too. Of course he didn't show, he'd rather die, but he cared about her.

"Spit it out, what is going on? You're usually tough, so it must be serious," he grumbled, pulling a chair for himself while Ji-ae joined her friends in bed.

"None of your beeswax."

"Can you tell me then?" Ji-ae whispered, pointing at her ear as if asking her friend to do the same.

"It's silly, you don't need to worry, Jicchan," Alma wrapped her arms around the other girl and leaned against her shoulder. "You guys are all making a big deal out of it, it's not that serious. If you keep fussing, Yuga-chan will shove cheese down my throat again, Deku is gonna tell All Might-sensei, who's gonna worry for no reason, and Aizawa-sensei is gonna send me to see Hound Dog-sensei, he freaks me out really bad. Then Monoma-kun is gonna tell everyone that I'm unhinged and my mom will-"

"Boys, can you give us just a second?" Ji-ae asked.

Kirishima nodded, already thinking of all the ways he was gonna spoil Iwazaki with pizza and old movies for their date night. Bakugou tsked and left, trusting that his girlfriend would know exactly what to do to help.

Alma felt so embarrassed, she hated to create drama and make a storm in a glass of water (as her mom would always say), but her love for her best friend was serious business. She never had friends before, the nature of her quirk and her severe mood swings would always push people away.

"Is this about our Galentine anniversary celebration?" Ji-ae asked.

"How did you know?"

"I know everything about you, what's wrong?"

Shaking her head, Iwazaki, tried to stop crying (unsuccessfully). It would be unfair to mark such an important moment with her mental instability.

It all started when Kendo asked a few days back if they were doing anything for the "occasion", and as much as Alma loved her fellow class 1-B friend, she hated her for having such an easy time when it was her turn.

Why do my emotions always have to be such a hurricane inside my head? Why can't I be chill like everyone else?

"Maybe we shouldn't exchange gifts..." she muttered.

"What? No, I already have yours! You don't need to get me anything, but I still want you to have mine," Ji-ae insisted, only making Alma feel even worse.

"I suck! Why do you like me? You're my best friend and I can't even do something so simple for you."

"You're my best friend too, and you don't suck. I don't care about the gift, as long as you put all that passion into it, I'm sure I'll love whatever you come up with. You could draw me a stick figure portrait of us holding hands for all I care."

"I love you, Jicchan," Alma cried. "I promise I'll make the best gift you can possibly imagine even if I stay up all day and all night for the next two weeks."

"I love you so much. And that is the most valuable gift I could ask for," Ji-ae gently kissed the top of her friend's head. "You, Alma, having you is enough... But I wouldn't complain if you made one of those tres leches cakes your mom always brings when she visits."

"Okay, yeah, that can be arranged."