#sometimes ill make a post saying 'hey this would be cute / neat'

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

if you have some, do you have any headcannons for barnaby?

honestly! not really! i don't have hcs for any of the neighbors!

[yanderetrash]

I swear ill shut up about it but

It may be that im just white knighting for Kim. I completely understand and acknowledge the possibility because otherwise it would be hypocritical

But. I feel like that one post is simply unfair, purely based on information we get in canon. Now, two things. Game is mostly what *you* make of it and one single playthru may not give you sufficient information which means you will substitute stuff based on your own personal bias

First off, based on my absolutely limited and flawed understanding of the world and with the caveat that at my best i can only half pay attention, revachol is an occupied state. Previously it was a monarchy and briefly a communist state but now its basically no national government or any other state branches but rather controlled by the coalition. In text this occupation is seen as "temporary" but also as, most likely if the status quo is not (heavily) hinted to change absolutely permanent. There are foreign military forces stationed in their airspace ready to strike at any moment should they try their whole independence thing again.

So yes ok this is a state under military occupation.

The RCM answers to the coalition such as it is because unfortunately that's the boss of this country now, they have been defeated and conquered. But like, RCM literally is the "citizen's militia" (in the name), and as Kim explains it its been set in place by the citizens (yknow) to take care (hey, let's say police) their own people. The coalition is not happy with this because the RCM is a house brand, not part of their structures. Shivers tells you that there is no need for the RCM in the rich parts of (the city? Its a city state, right?) so really they are only there to help the poor. Wouldn't the rich have better protection, coalition appointed? Bro i dont know either

The RCM does pretty much anything from cleaning up the streets of garbage to performing field autopsies, and it's underfunded and understaffed, with adherence to their ranks being voluntary. Sorta like the union appointed guys only tolerated by the occupational forces

Would also like to say that maybe as an american these very strong feelings don't translate as well but im east european so brother i feel so so so much. I understand their hope and hopelessness and probably have a more mellow, affectionate view of the whole situation. Of course that's part of my personal bias the window thru which i see the whole thing but i cant help but feel im closer to the shape because of it

Now the disaster of a main character youre playing as. I have to say first and foremost that this avengers good guys vs bad guys black and white mentality is sooooo boring and seriously detrimental to everything from worldview to personal growth. Blame whatever you want to blame for it (twitter, pop media, capitalism, idk). People don't necessarily have to fit into one of these two neat boxes labeled good guy and bad guy because by god people don't. Its not a storyteller's fault that their characters are not one or the other, bro thats good writing actually.

Hes a mentally unstable drunk who carries a heavy sadness and a strong air of failure and defeat. He's an overly sensitive little man who can barely face life one day after the other medicating this sadness with alcohol and drugs in a spiral of self destruction. And he really can't let go. The case, the love of his life. It's eating him away from the inside. Like, sometimes mental illness is not cute and its not pretty.

Bit sad that if you wouldn't wanna fuck a guy or whatever then hes tossed into the bad character pile. Wonder if he was good looking how much of this shit would have been overlooked, something to think abt.

So yea, he beat the shit out of that one guy. And he wasn't fired for it. Consider this however, the issue was ongoing for years, no one could find any solution, this wreck of a man was also drunk out of his mind, the only reason he wasn't reprimanded is because tallying things up his outburst solved the case and people (not the cops i mean the people complaining abt the drunks) were happy with the result.

But two things: i dont think that him being a cop made a difference here, harry would have done the same thing had he not been a cop but in the same mental state

And two, Kim would have never ever done this. I mean, no one else did all these years. It wasn't a strategy, it was a drunk's outburst

And three, harry felt very guilty afterwards (i know this doesnt excuse anything but does say something about him, no?), so much so he drunk himself into a mini mind wiping stupor. "Those two cases weighed heavily on you"

Lets be serious here, we've all met this person. Or could imagine this person. It makes me incredibly sad. Imagine to have to wake up being that person every day, i couldnt do it

Now onto the other guy. Completely agreed that Kim would walk around with any tolerate harrys whims if he wasnt a cop. I mean, why would he? I dont think they would even interact at all. The game wouldn't have happened. Null point.

His apprehension to interact with children is completely explained in game, and its not because hes an asshole but i think it would be better to just play the game and find out.

Besides, its not just harry hes patient and understanding with, its everyone. He plays second fiddle to your whims because you would play as Kim if that wasnt the case, but he never appears as anything but compassionate and understanding. He offers a prayer to the dead man. He treats the murderer with compassion. He agrees that letting Ruby go was the right choice and is heavily impacted by the loss of life after the tribunal. Maybe the choices made in game may affect the way he reacts (and honestly ive only done two playthrus so i dont know if hes secretly a bitch if you become fascist or something)

Sure hes a tiny little guy sometimes too rational for his own good, a cynic and a skeptic. Bit of a killjoy. But he's not an irredeemable asshole, and he's not a flawless saint either. He's a funny little weirdo and of course you want to please him since he's likeable and has an opinion on what you do (then again when games give me a little guy with opinions i always want to please them so maybe im not the best person to answer this one)

I think its very easy for strong feelings to swing from one side to the other (from love to hate) but i still don't believe this game is in any shape or form an allegory for modern day america or a commentary on the police institution in the US. Maybe its a bit of cultural dissonance at play. I dont know the remedy sad as it is because im not affected by it

[abyssofsydney]

Hey y'all, I'm Sydney.

I'll start out by saying that if you are reading this, you most likely have stumbled upon one of the more boring blogs out there. Here you will find pictures of myself, family, nature, animals, rv living, & I'm sure a lot of memes. You will absolutely find sarcasm, along with venting, positivity, & cuteness; probably some sadness, and definitely anxiety seeping from my posts.

If you're still reading, let me introduce myself a little more. I'm 27 & from a small farm town in Mid-Michigan. I'm married to a great man who travels for work, so we currently live in our camper in South Dakota & lemme tell ya, it’s been quite the experience thus far. We have three awesome rescued fur babies with us, Sage, a pitty with a licking problem, Sadie, a sassy bluetick coonhound, & Momma Kitty, a golden house cat that’s afraid of the world. I recently finished up my college semester and only have one more class to take before I have my bachelors in business administration. I have no idea what I am going to do with this degree, but hey, I got it.

I struggle a lot with mental illness and have been treated professionally multiple times. I feel that my life is ran by my anxiety and depression sometimes, & I have struggled significantly, resulting in severe agoraphobia. Last year I was unable to leave my living room, let alone my house, as I felt I was truly going to pass out and die. Along with the anxiety & depression, I suffer from PTSD from multiple incidents that have occurred in my life & one day it all just hit me like a brick and I couldn't do anything.

I try very hard to be positive and live a healthy and productive lifestyle. I find myself retreating to my bed when the days are rough and I need to force myself out of this habit. There's too much to experience in life for me to be stuck in my own head and home. My grandma's recent passing really enlightened me to this. I struggle to be positive, even though I have so much to be happy & grateful for. I feel that often I can't speak my mind or even understand & put into words my own feelings. For an adult, it seems silly for how distant I can be from my own emotions. Which is probably why my husband is my only friend.

I still struggle with my mental health, I still don't drive far or often, I still rely on my husband probably way too much, & I still struggle with agoraphobia & positivity.

But...

I traveled 1200 miles from home with just my husband and our pets to explore what else the country has to offer. I began driving alone for short distances & even going grocery shopping on my own (big anxiety trigger for me). And the one I think I am most proud of is that I climbed a freaking mountain. Well, technically it's a large hill, but saying that makes it sound so pathetic, & it was not. It was a brutal 3 mile hike up The Black Hills, which even included some rock climbing. I still can't believe it. Me. Sydney freaking Cook. Climbed a gosh dang mountain. If I would have told myself any of this a year ago, I would have laughed in disbelief.

Each day I'm changing, growing, becoming more me. I discover more & more of myself with each destination I arrive to, & for a mentally ill girl who thought she never could do these things, I think that's pretty neat.

Here's me on the day of our hike to Little Devils Tower.

[hymn2000]

So This Is Christmas - MCU AU (Mini)-fic

Story summary: It’s Christmas time. I didn’t have a clear idea of what to write; I just wanted to write a Christmas fic, so sorry this is so disjointed and the ending is a bit funny! Also sorry it’s late: I fully intended to post it before Christmas but Life got in the way, and then I was ill too.

Warnings/themes: Christmas, family stuff, family conflict, arguments, mild injury, grief, friendship, uncertainty, hurt/comfort?

You can also find me on AO3

-

Peter slammed his bedroom door hard behind him.

“DON’T SLAM THE DOORS!!” Tony yelled.

“IT’S MY DOOR AND I’LL SLAM IT IF I WANT TO!” Peter shouted back.

He turned on his CD player, loaded a disc, turned the volume up high, and hit play. Tony started shouting almost straight away. Peter ignored him and turned the volume up higher. Sure enough, Tony soon stormed into the bedroom and turned the CD player off.

“Hey! I was listening to that!” Peter protested.

“Tough! You only put it on to annoy me. Now you behave yourself, or else!”

“Or else what?! What exactly are you gonna do?!”

“I’ll tell your father, and-”

“I don’t care!” Peter interrupted. “Leave me alone!”

“Fine! But you keep your music turned down or that player and all your CDs are going in the bin”

Peter imitated him behind his back. Tony left the room, and Peter turned his CD player back on. He turned the volume down to a just-about-reasonable level and flopped on the bed. He looked at the clock. It was only 10am. It would be interesting to see how the rest of the day played out.

-

Loki raised an eyebrow at the sight of Tony angrily screwing new bulbs into a string of Christmas lights.

“Those little lights causing you trouble, my darling?” he said, getting his mug down from his cupboard.

“That boy is doing my bloody head in!” Tony hissed. “He’s an absolute devil sometimes”

“Why, what’s he done?”

“Oh, he’s just being a git” 

“I see” he turned the kettle on and watched Tony for a moment. “Are they all broken?”

“No, just a few of them. Mainly down to our little boy, I’m sure” Tony grumbled. “Good job I tested them before putting them on the tree”

“You’re rubbish at putting lights on the tree anyway” Loki said. “You’re good at fixing them though, it seems. Tea?”

“Uhh, coffee” Tony said, securing the last new bulb and switching the lights on to test them. “There! So, when are we doing this tree?”

“This evening. I’m going to have a drink and get some stuff done this afternoon before we get the grotto back up”

“Well, I’ll set the tree itself up. I got everything out and just dumped it in the living room. You’re better at arranging the decs”

“Peter’s good at it too”

“He’s not helping”

“What? He has to help. He’s helped every year since I met him, and I daresay he’s been looking forward to it”

“Tough, he lost his decorating privileges when he decided to be a little terror today”

“That’s a bit harsh” Loki said. 

“He’s in a major strop now anyway” Tony said. “He probably wouldn’t join in even if you asked him too”

Loki sighed silently and focused on making the drinks. He’d talk to Peter later.

-

Loki turned down the volume on Peter’s CD player.

“Perhaps a Christmas playlist would be more fitting, considering the occasion?”

“I don’t have a Christmas CD” Peter said simply.

He paused and then got up and turned the player off. 

“I gather you and your dad have had a bit of a falling out” Loki said.

“Oh, he’s just being a git” 

“Funny, he said exactly the same thing about you” Loki said, sitting down on the bed. “Care to share?”

“Well, he’s just being stupid, going on about swim team again”

“Why? Did you tell him you were thinking about quitting?”

“No” Peter said. “But, well, there was meant to be this big training thing on Saturday with a bunch of other schools, only I didn’t really want to go, so when I realised dad forgot, I just didn’t remind him about it. So I missed it, obviously, but today he was sorting out his memos and stuff and came across the memo for that and then he asked me about it and I just kinda shrugged so he just kicked off at me. Like he does”

Loki sighed. “Peter, I think it’s time you had a proper conversation with him about this. What excuse did you give Mr Musgrove?”

Peter shrugged. “Just told him I was ill”

Loki sighed again. “It’s high time you just quit, sweetie”

“Oh yeah, like that’s ever gonna happen” Peter scowled. “Dad would literally murder me”

“You need to talk to him about it, then. There’s no point wasting your time skipping practice and coming up with excuses to get out of events. If you’re not getting anything out of it anymore, it’s a waste of time and effort for everyone involved. Do people know you’re not enjoying it?”

Peter shrugged. “I don’t know. Well, Millie and Flo do, because I’ve told them, but I don’t think anyone else knows. I’ve had a lot of time off school this year anyway, so I wouldn’t’ve been at practice and stuff even if I still enjoyed it. I never really wanted to join in the first place. I’ve never enjoyed it the way dad thinks I do anyway”

Loki closed his eyes for a moment and pinched the bridge of his nose. “...I think this is a problem for another day"

“It’s an ongoing problem” Peter scowled.

Loki sighed heavily. 

“What?”

“Nothing. Well, not nothing” Loki shook his head slightly. “I just don’t know why you two have to keep fighting and falling out”

“It’s not my fault” Peter said. “He’s just being unreasonable. Remember how he reacted when I said I wanted a tattoo based on Skyline Pigeon? It’s like he’s just looking for any excuse to get angry with me. Maybe he’s having a midlife crisis”

“That’s not funny, Peter” Loki sighed.

“I’m not trying to be funny. He’s been weird for ages now. He got angry at me for singing I Think I’m Going To Kill Myself yesterday too”

“Well-”

“It’s a banger! How could I help but sing it if it was stuck in my head?”

“Mm. Well. You’ll have to sort out your differences eventually” Loki made for the door, and paused. “Do you want to come and help me out for a little bit?”

Peter just glared at him, so Loki sighed and left, shutting the door behind him. It wasn’t worth the hassle.

-

Peter knocked and entered the spare room, which was currently acting as Loki’s crochet workshop. He looked round the room at the various creations, the craft boxes and baskets, and the scraps of wool and fabric. He looked at his father, sat on the bed, propped up on his special support cushion, working away.

“Hi, daddy”

“Hello, Peter” Loki said, not looking up.

Peter carefully sat down on the edge of the bed by Loki’s feet. He had a feeling Loki was still feeling a bit funny about their almost-tiff earlier that day.

“...What are you making?”

“A hat”

“Oh, cute” Peter nodded. “Who’s it for?”

“Someone little and sweet”

“Oh! Um, that’s real kind of you, daddy, but it looks a bit small, and yellow isn’t really my colour” Peter gabbled, feeling a little flustered.

Loki laughed. “I’ll say!” he shook his head slightly. “It’s not for you, sweetie: it’s for a charity we’re supporting at the hospital who give clothes and other essentials to babies born into poverty. Jo Jo’s been making little jackets”

“Oohhh! Oh, cute! How many have you made?”

“Oh, a few” Loki said. “They don’t take very long”

Peter looked closer at what he was doing. “It all looks so neat and stuff, like knitting”

“Well, it’s a similar craft” Loki said.

“Mm... It’s different to what those blankets you made after May died look like”

“It’s a different type of stitch”

“...Why yellow?”

“Well, humans seem to see it as a gender-neutral colour for babies. I’ve done some white ones too, but I had lots of yellow wool in my bag, so I thought I may as well use it up”

Peter nodded, watching the speed and skill with which his father worked. It still felt a bit funny, seeing Loki - God of Mischief, self-proclaimed and publicly proclaimed Hard Man - doing crochet - but in some way it was fitting, too: Loki was strange and unpredictable, and Peter felt this echoed that fact.

“Are you gonna do some Christmas ones?”

“I don’t think so” Loki said. “It’s better keeping them plain: that way they can be used for longer”

“Oh, that’s a good point” Peter said. 

They sat quietly for a minute or two, and then Loki stopped and set his current project aside. He looked at Peter.

“Are you alright?”

“...I don’t know”

Loki held an arm out to him, and Peter crawled over and clambered onto his lap, leaning his side against his chest. Loki held him close, rubbing his arm firmly.

“I heard you and Tony shouting again earlier. Another falling out?” 

“Mm”

“Care to share?”

“Oh, he’s just cross because I went and said I was thinking of quitting the swim team. Like you suggested”

“Ah. That explains it” he sighed. “Still, can’t you go five minutes without biting each others heads off? Besides, I didn’t say you had to bring it up today”

Peter shrugged. He didn’t feel like he was the one at fault. “Can you talk to him about it?”

“I can try” Loki promised. “Now, are you going to help put these Christmas decs up today or not?”

“Yes!” Peter said, immediately brightening. “Can we have that hot spiced cider stuff?”

“No, sweetheart”

“Well, why not?” Peter demanded.

“Don’t take that tone with me, young man!” Loki said. He sighed. “Remember your father’s weekly commitments?”

Peter felt himself turning red. “Oh yeah. Sorry; I forgot for a moment there”

He looked away, feeling a bit awkward and guilty.

“No matter, chick” Loki said. “You didn’t mean anything by it. I can do some sort of spiced apple juice though, if you’d like”

“Oh, that could be good!” Peter said. “Have we got any biscuits?”

“Nothing homemade, if that’s what you’re after” Loki said. “We’ll have to see what I’ve got in my cupboard”

“Nice! Are we going now?”

“We’ll have to see if Tony’s ready” Loki said. “He said he was working on something downstairs. Would you like to go and see if he’s free?”

“Oh, um...” Peter shifted uncomfortably. “I don’t know. I think he might still be cross with me”

“Alright” Loki sighed. He gave Peter a little pat. “Shift. I’ll go”

“No, it’s ok!” Peter said, worried he might have upset him. “I’ll go. You wait here!”

Loki couldn’t help but chuckle as Peter rushed off. He was a funny little kid.

-

Peter vaulted the main staircase and bounded down the stairs to the lab, punching the code in and throwing the door open.

“Hey, dad!”

“Hey, kiddo!” Tony said, quickly throwing a tarp over something on the workbench. He seemed in a much better mood now he’d spent a few hours juggling tools.

“What are you working on?”

“Never you mind!” Tony said, quickly going over to him and putting an arm round his shoulders. “What brings you down here? I thought I told you the lab was out of bounds”

“Did you? I don’t remember” Peter said, truthfully enough. “Are you still busy?”

“Why? Did you need something?”

“Aren’t we gonna put the Christmas stuff up today?”

“Ah, yes! I’d forgotten. You know me; always getting lost in my work”

“Yeah, you’re filthy too”

“Hey! Don’t be cheeky” he inspected his hands and shirt. “Alright, you’re not wrong. I got all the stuff and put it in the living room earlier. Go and annoy your father for a bit while I take a shower, and then we’ll get some decorations up, ok?”

“Are you calling me annoying?”

Tony sighed. “Don’t start, kiddo”

“I’m not starting anything!”

“Then don’t. Right, I’m gonna have that shower. Out of here now: I need to lock up”

Peter rolled his eyes and stalked off back up the stairs. Suddenly his sour mood was back.

-

Peter sat rocking on one of the kitchen chairs while Loki was making spiced apple juice.

“You’ll fall and crack your head open if you’re not careful” 

Peter scowled and continued rocking.

“Peter, stop it”

“Why should I?”

“Because I said so! Now stop it”

Peter didn’t, tipping his chair right back on its back legs and letting it drop back onto all fours at the last second. He kept doing it, and the chair creaked ominously.

“Peter, I told you to stop!” Loki snapped.

Peter pouted, pausing. Loki looked back to the saucepan on the hob, and Peter resumed rocking back on his chair. He could see Loki twitching with irritation, but he didn’t care. He kept doing what he was doing, grumbling to himself. 

He tipped back a little too far - the legs slipped, and the chair fell backwards to the floor with a clatter, taking Peter with it. 

Peter squeaked as it happened, but fell silent in shock after he hit the floor. 

“Peter!” Loki rushed to his side. “You silly child! Are you ok?!”

“I...I think so” Peter mumbled, trying to work out if he was hurting anywhere. 

Loki breathed out. “For goodness sake, Peter! What did I tell you?!”

“...I didn’t crack my head open” Peter said, and he dared grin.

Loki growled, grabbing him by the elbow and sitting him up.

“I told you to stop, and you just ignored me! You’re lucky you haven’t seriously hurt yourself! Do you know how many kids I see on a daily basis who have hurt themselves in the same silly manner??”

“Um-”

“Not many, because most of them know how to listen to their parents!” Loki snapped. “Now, are you sure you’re ok? Did you hit your head?”

"I’m not sure...”

Loki gave him the once over. He was a bit shaky from the shock of the fall, but he seemed ok, aside from bashed elbows and a bump on the back of his head. Loki fetched an ice pack, which he gave to Peter to hold against his head. He sighed heavily.

“You silly kid” he said, helping him to his feet. “Right, go to your room”

“What?! Why?!”

“You know why! Now do as you’re told!”

“But-!”

“But nothing! I’ll come and get your when your father’s ready to do the decs. Now go to your room and try to stay out of mischief. And keep that ice pack on”

Peter sighed heavily, but he knew he didn’t really have a choice. He went off to his room in a huff and flopped on the bed. He kept the ice pack against his sore head, grumbling to himself. He was still feeling a bit shaky. Besides, he had a sneaky suspicion that he was in trouble with Loki now. That was a stress he could really do without.

-

Peter fell asleep for a bit, and he wasn’t very happy to be woken up.

“That face!” Tony laughed. “Don’t look so dismayed. Daddy’s done spiced apple if you want some”

Peter tried to pull a pillow over his face, but Tony grabbed it from him.

“Oi, get up” he said. “You can sleep after we’ve done the tree and stuff”

“I can’t be bothered”

“Tough” Tony said, grabbing him and hauling him to his feet. “You know you love decorating the tree. Don’t be a spoilsport”

Peter sighed heavily. “Fine, but I wanna get some of that drink first, ok?”

“Ok. Daddy’s gonna want to put the lights and beads on by himself anyway. He says I’m rubbish at it”

“You are rubbish at it” Peter said, walking through to the kitchen with him. “It goes all lopsided and uneven when you do it”

“Alright, I’ll give you that one” Tony said, pushing him into the kitchen. “Hey Lolly, get a big glass of that stuff served up for the sprog”

“Already done” Loki said, nodding at the Christmas glass on the counter. “Are you having some?”

“Sure am. It’s not Christmas without an experimental spiced Loki-drink” Tony said.

“I’ll take that as a compliment” Loki said, serving him a glass and fixing one for himself. He took a sip. “Well, I’d better get the lights on that tree”

“I’ll stick the Crimbo playlist on” Tony said. He looked at Peter. “What’s the kid gonna do?”

“He can sit with his drink and wake himself up a bit” Loki said. He looked at Peter. “How’s your head?”

Peter shrugged. Loki and Tony sighed and shook their heads at each other. Peter scowled. 

“Right, living room” Tony said. “May as well make ourselves comfortable until we’re needed”

-

Peter sidled up to Tony while Loki was sorting the fairy lights.

“Why does he take Christmas so seriously? Why does he like it so much?” he asked quietly.

Tony was a little surprised at his question. He put an arm round Peter’s shoulders.

“You know, I think he’s still getting used to Earth, even though he’s lived here for quite a while now” Tony said. “I think... I think he needs something to turn to. You know he’s had a tough time, but you don’t know the half of it. He’s not had a great life, and I suppose something as mundane as human life is comforting. Something about the Christmas season really seems to do him good”

“Is it because of when you first got together?”

“Maybe a little bit” Tony laughed slightly. “He was so amazed by it all that first year. Art, music, medicine. Christmas. Four things he really loved and was interested in right from the start”

“Well...” Peter thought for a moment. “He’s incorporated all that stuff into his life”

“Yeah, he has” Tony gave him a squeeze. “You should sing to him. You’ve got a good little voice on you. I’ve heard you singing”

“I don’t know. It’s so different doing it in front of people” Peter said awkwardly. 

“Even a silly Christmas song?”

“Even a silly Christmas song” Peter nodded. “I’m not singing”

“Ok, ok...”

They stayed quiet, watching as Loki finished putting the string lights and beads on the tree. He sighed and stood back, clearing his throat.

“There, done” he said. “You two can take over now”

He sat down on the sofa and picked up his mug.

“Aren’t you gonna help?” Peter said.

“You two can do the tree while I have a drink” Loki said. “I’ll help with the rest of it”

Peter shrugged and started sifting through the tree ornaments. 

“Some of these are getting old now” he said.

“Yeah, I’ve had some of them for ages” Tony said, kneeling beside him. “You know, some of these are ones I had when I was a kid.

Peter nodded. “I remember you saying. It’s a funny mix, isn’t it? I mean, you’ve got those ones, and then some of these are like, Christmas market ones, and some are from posh shops, and some are from chain shops, and some of these are homemade, right?”

“Right” Tony said, picking up a hand-painted bauble Peter had done a few years ago. “It’s good to have a mix. It all looks good when it’s up anyway”

“That isn’t exactly a great one” Peter said, wrinkling his nose at the bauble Tony was holding.

“I think it’s cute. I like this one, too” Tony held up a snowman on a ribbon that Peter had made in woodwork last year. “I like your little creations. We’ll put up that candle holder you made too”

“Do we have to?” Peter said weakly.

The candle holder was another project Peter had done in woodwork at school. It was a large snowman, hollow inside, with a carved design at the front and a hole in the back of it for a tea light. It was a well executed and effective design, especially considering it was knocked together in only a couple of hours - but as soon as it was finished, Peter suddenly realised the obvious flaw in making a candle holder out of wood. He’d been mortified when he’d realised, and he was glad it was a mini project and not a big one. Luckily he’d kept to himself throughout his work, so a quickly written paragraph about a holder for electric tea lights in a durable material as a festive item for a household with young children was all it took to cover his back. He had, however, told Tony and Loki the truth about it, and Tony had laughed quite a lot.

“It’s cute. Now come on; are you putting any of those baubles up, or am I gonna have to do it all by myself?”

Peter kept his mouth shut. Gradually the tree started to take shape. 

“You’re very quiet” Tony said eventually. “Everything ok?”

“I’m just thinking” Peter said quietly, turning a decoration over in his hand and hanging it on a branch. 

“I gathered that” Tony said. “How are you feeling?”

Peter shrugged. “I don’t know. Kinda... lonely, I guess”

“Lonely?” Tony looked at him. “Are you serious?”

Peter shrugged again, keeping his gaze averted. “...I miss May”

“Oh sweetheart” Tony said, softening. “I know, chick. Sorry, I should’ve thought”

Peter shrugged.

“Talk to me, kiddo. I still miss her too”

Peter looked over his shoulder at Loki, who was busy looking at his phone. Peter looked back at the tree, putting another decoration on. 

“What’s there to talk about?”

“Well, we could talk about what you remember about her. Or what you want to do this year? Like, a new decoration for that mini tree or something?”

Peter shrugged.

“Stop shrugging, chick. Come on; let’s talk”

“... Does this time of year make you sad too?”

“...Why?”

“Well, your parents died in December, didn’t they?”

Tony stopped for a moment. “Well, yeah, they did. I guess I still feel sad about my mum, and I still miss her when I think about it. But we didn’t really have cosy family Christmases anyway. I remember every year, obviously, but it’s different”

“Mm... What do you think they’d think of all this?”

“...I think they’d be surprised. Mother would’ve loved you. As for dad... Well, he’d probably be scared to death of your father, and I think he’d be strict with you, but have a soft spot for you too. It’s weird; I try not to think about it”

“Do you ever visit them?”

“Not really” Tony said, sifting through the few remaining tree decorations. “I didn’t really have a great relationship with either of them, you know that. I don’t really bother with it. I know a few people who still visit them, though”

“I can’t imagine not visiting May. Even though it’s been so long. I still like going every month”

“You go more than that sometimes”

“Yeah, I know. Sometimes I feel like it. It’s good to just sit there and talk”

Tony reached over and rested a hand on the side of Peter’s face, stroking his cheek gently with his thumb.

“You’ve had a tough time, haven’t you, little baby?” he sighed. “I’m proud of you, you know, and everything you’ve managed to achieve despite all of it”

Peter wasn’t exactly flattered. He pulled away and went and sat next to Loki. Loki looked up and put his phone away. He looked at the tree.

“Looks good” he nodded. “Well, shall we get everything else set up?”

“What are we gonna start with?” Tony asked, pushing his sleeves up. “Nativity?”

“I’ll do that on my own” Loki said firmly. “Peter, keep your hands off, ok?”

Peter feigned shock. “How could you think so lowly of me, father?”

Loki narrowed his eyes at him. He shook his head and stood up. 

“Choose whatever you want to put up” he said. “And turn the stereo up”

-

For a while it was ok; setting everything up with the Christmas music playing and the sound of Loki and Tony talking filling the room. Peter stayed quiet, setting things up wherever he felt they looked good. He noticed Loki moving some things when he thought Peter wasn’t looking, so Peter went and turned all the characters on Loki’s nativity back to front while Loki's back was turned.

Peter started to feel a bit fed up, especially when he watched Loki and Tony laughing and joking and kissing and dancing together. He was glad when the doorbell went and he had to go and answer it.

“Flo?!”

“Hi...”

“What are you doing here? Don’t you have a coat? You must be freezing!” Peter gabbled, pulling her inside and closing the door. “You are freezing! Here”

He pulled his jumper off and shoved it over her head before she could protest. Flo knew Peter wouldn’t take no for an answer, so she put it on properly.

“I’m sorry; I would have called ahead” she said. “It’s just-”

“It’s ok; it’s good to see you! You should come upstairs. Dad made hot apple, so you can have some of that, and-”

“Peter, who is it?” Tony called, appearing at the top of the stairs. He spotted the girl, and made his way down. “Flo? I wasn’t expecting you”

“I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t drop it like this” she said awkwardly. “But I didn’t know what else to do”

“Are you alright? You look a bit shaken”

Flo swallowed and nodded. “I didn’t expect to be out for very long, so I didn’t take my coat when dad dropped me off. Only I accidentally left my phone and purse in the car, and I didn’t realise until it was much too late. I just wandered around, not really knowing what to do, but then I recognised where I was, and I just thought-”

“Hey, hey, don’t look so worried! It’s ok; you’re here now, and you’re safe. I’ll call your father for you”

“Thank you. I’m sorry, I-”

“Don’t be” Tony said. He looked at Peter. “For goodness sake, kiddo; put a shirt on”

“I need to look after Flo and get her warmed up and-”

“I’ll look after her: I’m the adult” Tony said firmly. “Now do as you’re told”

-

Peter put a shirt on, and after Flo was warmed up, he settled at the breakfast bar with her.

“He’s a bit tied up” Tony said, coming back into the room. “He’ll pick you up in an hour, when he’s finished”

Flo nodded. “Thank you”

“No problem, chick. Right, I’d better go and help Loki set the rest of this stuff up. You two can do whatever. But please, at least try to stay out of mischief”

-

-

Flo lay down beside Peter on his bed.

“At least we planned it this time” she said.

“Well, you kinda didn’t have a choice the other week when you left your phone and stuff in your dads car” Peter said.

“It feels like months ago already” she said. “It’s been such a busy time. Mother’s coming home for Christmas so dad’s been busy sorting everything for the big day. Mother usually does most of the decorating, but of course she was away. It’s been a long month”

“It’s still only the 18th” Peter said. “He’s got time... Are you looking forward to your mother getting back?”

“Not really” Flo admitted. “She’ll never like me like she likes my sister”

“That doesn’t mean she doesn’t like you”

“I don’t know. Maybe she does. Maybe she doesn’t. I don’t really know. I always feel like I don’t really know her. I don’t really see her all that much. I don’t really mind, but it makes it awkward when we have to spend time together”

Peter turned onto his side, looking at her. “When did you last have a Christmas with her?”

“Well, she’s there every year, but it always feels weird seeing her, since she’s away so much” Flo said. 

“Oh right” Peter said, trying to understand. “What about Christmas Eve? Are you doing anything?”

“Oh. Well, I’m not sure yet. We don’t usually do much. Mother and my sister go out in the evening, and me and dad stay home and watch Christmas DVDs. Why?”

“Well, I was wondering if you wanted to come over. We usually go to this carol thing, but daddy’s working till late, so I don’t know if dad’s still gonna go”

“Oh, well I’d have to check with my parents and see what they say” Flo said. “A carol service sounds nice. But even if we didn’t go, I love your house at Christmas - it’s so cute and festive!”

“It is pretty cool at Christmas” Peter agreed. “We’ve got some cool stuff, although it does seem a bit overboard having Christmas blankets and Christmas bedding and Christmas throw pillows and Christmas crockery and stuff”

“Well, my family have Christmas day tableware too”

“Yeah, but we have like, Christmas season crockery, and Christmas day crockery. It’s a bit extra. Me and May never bothered”

Flo looked at him, noting the change in his voice at the end of his sentence. 

“You had Christmas decorations though, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, but just the basic stuff. We had a few Christmas mugs, but they kinda got used all year round...”

Flo took Peter’s hand. “Are you ok?”

“I think so. I just still feel a bit funny thinking about her sometimes. Especially at this time of year”

“She passed away around this time of year, didn’t she?” Flo said gently.

“January. 13 days after Christmas. That’s not very long, really. We had such hope and plans for that year... Can I tell you a secret?”

Flo nodded and squeezed his hand.

“I’m mostly happy with all this, yknow, being a Stark, and your friend, and everything. But I’d trade in all of it in a heartbeat to get May back” he said. “I know it’s kinda bad to say, and I know it’s weird, since she died quite a while ago now, but still...”

“You can’t help how you feel” Flo said. “I know you were really close. You can still remember her, so that’s a good thing. And your parents do too, right? And you remember her in other ways, like that angel on the mantelpiece. And that robin there”

She nodded in the direction of the wooden robin on the edge of the headboard. Peter nodded slightly.

“Yeah, that’s true... I made another decoration for the tree on her grave. It was a peacock made out of scrap metal. Sounds rubbish, I know, but it turned out pretty well, which is god, because it took forever! She liked peacocks. I just suddenly remembered this painting she had in her room, and I’d been struggling to think of what to make, so I made that”

“That sounds cute” Flo said. “...Peter?”

“Mm?”

“Tell me about her”

Peter paused for a moment, still feeling hot and shaky and a little nervous. And then he smiled. 

“Ok”

-

-

Peter couldn’t help feeling a bit put out.

“I’m sorry” Flo said. “But my mother isn’t the kind of person you argue with”

“Evidently not” Peter grumbled, brows furrowed.

“Don’t look so cross! I’m upset too, but there’s nothing I can do about it. There’s still other things we can do together, other than Christmas Eve”

“I suppose so” Peter sighed. “Well, in that case, maybe we should do our Christmas presents tomorrow”

“Sounds good” Flo nodded. “Shall we go out? There’s that funny restaurant in town, the one we had those nice burgers at?”

“Uuuuhhh, maybe” Peter said, forgetting his disappointment and getting his phone out to check the restaurants menu.

They read through the menu together carefully, and then Peter sighed and put his phone away.

“Their Christmas menu doesn’t really do it for me” he said.

“No, me neither” Flo said. “Shall we just do it here then?”

“Sure”

“We could go out for hot chocolate first” Flo suggested. “That gelato place by the emporium had a board outside advertising its Christmas hot chocolates”

“Oh, right” Peter said, brightening. “That sounds good! Ok, hot chocolate, and then back here for presents. Ok?”

“It’s a date!”

-

Spending time with Flo was always such a tonic. For a while, he felt like everything was normal. But all too soon they were saying goodbye, and Peter had to face his parents once again. Somehow, he didn’t feel very connected to them. Despite everything.

“What’s with the face?” Tony said, giving him a little tap on the cheek. “It’s Christmas!”

“It’s the 23rd” Peter said, keeping his eyes glued to his phone.

“It’s Christmas Eve Eve” Tony said. “Stop being so miserable!”

“Leave me alone then!”

“Peter, don’t talk to your father like that” Loki said. 

Peter looked up from his phone and glared at him. 

“Enough of the attitude, young man”

“Yeah, enough of the attitude, Peter” Tony said. “You won’t get any Christmas presents if you carry on like this”

“I don’t care” Peter grumbled.

Tony sighed. He made eye contact with Loki and they shook their heads at each other.

“Unbelievable. What’s gotten into you? You usually enjoy Christmas”

“So?” 

“So stop being so rude and cheeky!”

“I’m not being rude and cheeky! Leave me alone!”

“Peter!” Loki snapped. “Stop it! Now go to your room”

“Why should I?!”

“Because I told you to! Now do as you’re told!”

“FINE!” 

Peter stormed off and slammed the living room door behind him. He ignored his parents shouts and continued to his room. He grabbed his Spiderman suit. He was grounded now, technically, but he didn’t care. He didn’t suppose his parents would check on him anyway.

-

-

Peter didn’t feel much better on Christmas Eve. His parents didn’t know he’d gone out the previous night - or if they did, they hadn’t mentioned it. Peter slept most of the morning, and Loki had already gone to work by the time he got up. He wandered about for a little while, looking at all of the lights and decorations all over the house. He didn’t feel in the least bit Christmassy. Even looking at the presents under the tree didn’t make him feel festive. 

“You’d better not be poking around those presents”

Peter spun round. “Oh, it’s just you” 

“Charming. What are you up to, sweetheart?”

Peter looked at him sceptically. 

“What’s with the face?” 

Peter didn’t reply. Tony sighed and put an arm round his shoulders.

“You’ve been acting funny for a while now. What’s up? Anything you want to talk about?”

Peter shook his head.

“Alright, suit yourself. Anyway, I wanted to talk to you about tonight” Tony said, guiding Peter over to the sofa so they could sit down. “I’m still gonna go to that carol service, even though your father’s gonna miss it. Are you gonna come with me?”

Peter shrugged. Tony sighed.

“A real answer would be nice. If you’re coming, you’ll need to be ready by about quarter past five” he said. “But if you wanna stay here and watch TV or something, that’s fine too. Daddy should be home around half six anyway, so you wouldn’t be alone for that long”

“I’ll think about it”

“Better decide soon, kiddo”

“Is Pepper coming round tomorrow?”

“No, she’s seeing family” Tony said. “She might come over on Boxing Day though. Why?”

Peter shrugged.

“What about uncle Thor?”

“Uhh, maybe Boxing Day, if he’s about. I can call him and ask, if you like?”

Peter shrugged.

“Don’t your shoulders hurt? You’re always shrugging. It’s not a very dignified look”

“So? What do you care? It’s not like I’m at school”

“Funny how that school still hasn’t managed to fix some of your little faults after all this time” Tony said. “You’re too stubborn; that’s your problem. Just like your parents”

“Oh come on, dad; I’m never gonna be like all those kids at school. Why should I be?”

“Well, you do go for a school for young ladies and gentlemen”

“Yeah, and whose fault is that?” Peter shook his head slightly. “They’re not all perfect, yknow. I mean, you’ve met Macy. And Malaki”

“Mm, that’s true. Macy can at least keep up appearances when the situation calls for it” he said. “That Malaki is a bad influence on you. He’ll end up getting expelled one day; you mark my words”

“You’re so dramatic”

“I’m not wrong though”

Peter scowled at him. Tony laughed slightly and ruffled the boys hair.

“The wind’ll change and your face’ll get stuck like that if you’re not careful”

“You’re not funny”

“Wanna bet?” Tony pulled him close, kissing him hard on the cheek. “My little boy~. You’re gonna end up with a stocking full of coal, you know”

“What, for getting annoyed?”

“No; for being rude and cheeky, you little tyke” he gave him a squeeze. “You ought to get into the Christmas spirit, chick: it is Christmas tomorrow, after all”

“I know that”

“Well, aren’t you excited?”

Peter shrugged. 

“Stop shrugging! Use your words”

Peter didn’t.

“Alright” Tony sighed. “Do you want a drink or something?”

Peter shook his head.

“Ok, so do you wanna watch a film?”

Peter shrugged. Tony growled and grabbed him by the shoulders.

“Stop shrugging! You’re doing my head in!”

“Good!”

They looked at each other in silence for a moment or two, and then Tony sighed, let go of him, and picked up the TV remote.

“Let’s watch a film”

-

After a quiet afternoon watching Christmas films, Peter felt a little put out when Tony started getting ready for the carol service.

“You can still come with me, you know” Tony said, pulling his coat on.

“No thanks...”

“Well, you be good then. Watch some telly or another DVD or something. Daddy’ll be back before you know it”

-

Peter curled up on the sofa watching the Christmas episodes of The Simpsons he had on the planner. He was feeling better, and almost like he was getting into the Christmas spirit. It was nice to be alone in the house for once: it didn’t really happen all that often, especially not anymore. 

It didn’t last long. Loki arrived home about 90 minutes after Tony had left. Peter paused the telly, and Loki soon came into the living room. 

“Good evening”

“Hi...”

Loki looked at the telly. “Am I interrupting?”

“No...”

“Well, I’m going to have a shower and get changed, and then I’ll join you. I take it Tony went to the service?”

Peter nodded.

“I thought as much. Has he been cooking today?”

Peter nodded again. “And baking”

“I thought I could smell home cooking. Anyway, I’m going to go and sort myself out. I won’t be long”

Peter waited until he was out of the room before pressing play again. He snuggled down and settled back into his current episode of The Simpsons.

-

Tony arrived home much too soon, Peter thought. It had been nice watching telly quietly, with Loki crafting away on the armchair. Still, Loki was happy to see him. As always.

Peter wasn’t happy about having to leave the sofa to go and have soup and scones in the kitchen. Luckily his parents were too deep in conversation to care that he was so quiet, or notice how little he was eating. They did, however, notice when he took his phone out.

“Not at the table, Peter” Tony said firmly. “You know the rules”

Peter sighed and put his phone away. Tony nodded slightly.

“Good boy. Eat up now” 

“I’m not very hungry”

“You’ve only had half a scone and two spoonfuls of soup” 

“Well-”

“You need to eat, sweetheart” Loki said. “At least try. For me”

"But-”

“But nothing” Tony interrupted. “Do as you’re told. It’s not too late for Father Christmas to move you onto the naughty list”

“You say that every year” Peter scowled. 

“Eat” Tony said. He looked back at Loki. “So anyway, I rang the office, and asked to speak to the stupid bugger myself. He beat about the bush, of course, but we got there in the end, and I said-”

-

As per the tradition, they put The Snowman on after they’d eaten and tidied up. Loki sat on the sofa and pulled Peter onto his lap, and Tony sat beside them with his arm round Loki’s shoulders. Peter felt a little funny. He felt comfortable against Loki’s chest, but he didn’t feel like he should really be there. He had a feeling Tony still wasn’t very happy with him. He hadn’t really been the same with him for a while now. Loki was being ok though. He had his arms round him, cuddling him the way he always did. 

Peter tried to focus on the film, but his thoughts drifted and he found himself feeling rather tired. He dropped off for a little while but woke up when Tony got up to turn the DVD off.

“Are you ok there, sweetie?” Loki asked gently. “I think you fell asleep for a moment there”

“Mm... I’m kinda tired” 

“You look it. Maybe it’s time you called it a night”

“It’s only half eight, Loki” Tony said, standing up. “He’ll never sleep through the night if you send him now”

“I’m not a baby, dad” Peter said. 

Tony raised an eyebrow. “Wanna bet?”

Peter scowled, and Loki laughed.

“Leave the poor baby alone” he said. “Now darling, why don’t we all have a drink and listen to Smooth radio for a bit?”

“You sound so old sometimes, Lolly, my dear” Tony said, but he turned on the radio nevertheless. “Peter, go and stick the kettle on”

“No, no, don’t move, chick” Loki said, keeping hold of him. “You can make the drinks, Tony, my darling”

“Alright, alright. Well, since it’s Christmas. What are we all having?”

“I’ll have a Lady Grey” Loki said. “Milk and sugar, of course”

“Alright” Tony nodded. “...Kid?”

“Umm...”

“Warm milk?”

“No, uh-”

“Make a decision, Peter!”

“Tony! Don’t shout at him!”

“I wasn’t shouting!”

“I won’t have anything then” Peter scowled.

“Stop it, both of you” Loki snapped. “Tony, you know what he likes. Use your initiative”

Tony sighed and kissed Loki on the cheek. “Won’t be long”

Peter waited till Tony was out of the room before speaking.

“He hates me”

“What?! No he doesn’t! Don’t be silly”

“I’m not being silly! He’s been off with me for ages now” Peter said, tears welling in his eyes. 

“He’s just been busy and a bit stressed. You know it’s been a tough year for him. For all of us, in fact” Loki said. “You know he loves you more than anything in the world”

Peter went quiet, listening to the radio.

“Christmas tomorrow” Loki said, changing the subject. 

Peter nodded. “It’s starting to feel like it now”

“That’s good” Loki said. “It should be nice, a relaxed day with my little family and plenty of good food and drink”

“No Baileys hot chocolates though”

“No, well, that’s not really important” Loki said awkwardly, not really wanting another one of those conversations. “I take it you’ll still want to go to the cemetery tomorrow?”

Peter nodded. “I saw those flowers you got. They’re pretty fancy”

“Well, she deserves nothing less” Loki said. He paused, and sighed. “I do miss our May, you know”

“I know... I miss her too. I thought I would’ve stopped feeling so strongly about it by now, but... Well, it still hurts”

“To be honest, sweetheart, I rather think it’s going to hurt forever. Not as much as at the start, of course, but it will still hurt. We can’t help how we feel. It’s good to remember her, though. She always did love this time of year”

“I liked spending Christmas here back then, when it was four of us” Peter said. “She was a big personality, wasn’t she?”

“I suppose she was, yes. Why do you say that?”

“Well, when she was here, and there were four, well, four seemed so much more than three, y’know?”

“I know” Loki nodded understandingly. “I think we were all big personalities, in our own way”

Peter looked over at the crystal angel on the mantelpiece. He looked at the pictures on the walls: some of them festive, some of them ones that were there all year round - including several from back when Peter still had three parental figures in his life.

“Don’t you think it’s funny how you can forget about these pictures?”

“What do you mean, sweetheart?”

“Well, I see them everyday. Multiple times a day, I guess, but I don’t really register them”

“I see. Well, I suppose when you’re getting on with your everyday life, everything just blends into the background. There’s many things I often forget about in the same way”

Just then, Tony came back into the room. He handed a mug each to Loki and Peter, and then sat back on the sofa with them.

“Christmas seems to have snuck up so fast this year, don’t you think?” he said, sipping his decaf. “I swear it was still November five minutes ago”

“It’s funny how things sneak up on you” Loki nodded. “It’s been a busy month, I suppose. Still, it’ll be nice to relax for a while”

“When are you back at work?”

“Not till the New Year. Not until Peter’s back at school, I don’t think”

“I go back on the seventh” Peter said. 

“Yes. I’ll have to check my diary, make sure, but not just now” Loki said. “I’d like to focus on the family for a while. It’s high time we spent some more quality time together, don’t you agree?”

“A good New Years Resolution, I think” Tony nodded. “Maybe next year we should finally go abroad for Christmas. Christmas markets, at least”

“Maybe” Loki said. “I think we should wait and discuss that nearer the time”

They went quiet for a while, listening to the Christmas music playing on the radio.

“Who’s cooking tomorrow?” Peter asked.

“Me” Tony said. “I’ve got everything planned already. I even prepped some stuff while you were sulking this afternoon”

“I wasn’t sulking!” Peter said indignantly.

“Alright, no need to shout” Tony shook his head. “Anyway, you’d better be finishing your drink and laying your stocking out and getting settled for the night, don’t you think?”

“Wait, just five minutes ago you were saying I couldn’t go to bed just yet!”

“Yeah, but by the time you’ve finished your drink and done everything else, it’ll be near enough bedtime - and you always have an early night on Christmas Eve anyway” Tony said. “I don’t want you having too much of a lie-in tomorrow morning”

“Mm, whatever” Peter sighed. “Daddy, am I doing the stocking in your room again tomorrow?”

“Of course” Loki said. “You can’t break the tradition now”

“And do I still have to get dressed and have breakfast before we do the big presents?”

“Yep” Tony said. 

“Can I open a present tonight?”

“Nope! You can wait till tomorrow like everyone else”

“Aww, but I’ll give both of you one of your presents tonight too?”

“No way, chick” Tony smiled. “Presents are for Christmas Day”

Peter sighed as though he were annoyed, but he didn’t really mind. He was starting to feel better. Maybe it was a good job it was Christmas tomorrow after all.

-

Peter finished his drink, and Tony sent him off to get ready for bed. Peter went off to his room and did his teeth and got changed into an old set of joggers and a t-shirt. He picked up his lovely homemade stocking and lay it carefully at the end of his bed. He looked round the bedroom. It wasn’t very tidy. Somehow he hadn’t managed to find the time to do a proper tidy up, or even find places for his presents from his friends to go. He didn’t have a jug at the moment either, as he’d put it in the dishwasher that morning and hadn’t grabbed a clean one.

Luckily Loki was just as prepared as ever, and he came into the room armed with a jug of water and a glass, which he set on Peter’s bedside table. 

“There. Are you ready for bed?”

Peter nodded.

“Good. How are you feeling?”

“I’m not sure. Tired, I guess”

“Excited?”

“Maybe a bit” Peter said, looking at his stocking. 

Loki looked at it too. “Hopefully you’ll be brought something more than coal”

“I won’t if dad’s got anything to do with it”

“You seemed to be getting on a little better this evening, despite what you said earlier” Loki said. “Tomorrow will be a good day; you know that”

Peter nodded slightly. He rearranged his pillows and cuddly toys, and climbed into bed. Loki carefully lay the covers over him and turned the night light on.

"You look tired”

“He is tired” Tony said, appearing in the doorway. “He fell asleep watching The Snowman, didn’t he?”

“Well, yes” Loki said. “Still...”

“I’m fine” Peter said, turning onto his side. “The early night sounds ok though. Then when I wake up, it’ll probably be Christmas”

“Probably?” Tony said, raising an eyebrow.

“Well, there’s always a chance I’ll fall asleep and then wake up again before midnight”

“Mm, I suppose. Well, you’d better get some rest then, kiddo. You can chill as much as you like tomorrow, but I’d still like to start the day at a decent time”

“Ok, ok. If I’m awake around eight, I’ll get up around eight”

“Good boy” Tony smiled. “Love you, sweetheart”

Peter paused for a moment. “Love you too”

“I’ll leave you too it. Night kiddo”

“Night dad”

Loki watched Tony go, and turned back to Peter.

“What are you thinking?”

“...Next year will be better, won’t it?”

Loki stroked Peter’s hair gently, not quite looking him in the eye.

“I hope so”

“Hope...”

Loki looked at him properly. “I hope so. I’m sure it will be”

“Mm... Well, let’s get Christmas done first, right?”

Loki laughed slightly. “Yes, let’s have a nice Christmas. Now you settle down and go to sleep. Or Father Christmas will never come”

“You know, I think you might have been made to work with kids, even though you weren’t born on Earth or anything” Peter said, snuggling down.

“I’ll take that as a compliment” Loki chuckled.

“Do you find it hard being at work?”

“It’s a challenge” Loki said. “But it’s a lot easier now than it was when I first went back. Come along now; settle down. It’s bedtime”

“Ok. Sorry”

“Don’t be” Loki kissed him on the cheek. “We’ll have a good day tomorrow, chick”

“Mm, we’ll see”

“You’ll feel better in the morning. A good nights sleep will do you the world of good, darling”

“Ok... I trust you” he said. “Love you”

“I love you too, sweetheart” Loki said. “See you Christmas morning”

Peter smiled. “See you Christmas morning”

*

*

*

[aharris00britney]

ASKS 11

wip pic, complements ;-;, some meshing questions, and other stufffff

Anonymous said: Would you ever consider doing a version of your Sam and Briana hairs with the halo braid but as a pixie cut?          

hehe this ask inspired me to make something kind of similar but not a pixie cut SORRY ;n; here is a pic ; this will be the next speed meshing video/hair

@bluupxels​ said: what's ur opinion on dance the night away (TWICE comeback)?

I don’t hate it but it is in the bottom 2 for my title tracks ranking for them :( (OOH AAH is the bottom lmao ya’ll hear somethin?) The MV was pretty though and I like the side tracks on the album

Anonymous said: post selfies more often ;)

i never take photos of myself edfhvnb here is a pic i took a few nights ago bc i was wearing the same shirt Lucas had on in some pic of him lmao he just had some sweater over it

Anonymous said: Hey, for your meshing videos, are all the hairs yours? and are they WIPS? they all look great!

yeah they’re all my WIP hairs! I just do stuff a lot earlier than they get released and hairs get released through a voting system so it is kind of out of my hands on which/when hairs get released.

Anonymous said: AHH AJSHFL u are so cute hehe u have a pretty face :')

thank you omg ;n; I don’t think I do but ill take the complement XD

Anonymous said: r u gay? ♡

yes

Anonymous said: Not a question, i just want to say that i LOVE your cc hair's they are stunning <3

thank you so much!!! I am glad you like them <3

@garoto-estelar​ said: u're one of the best mm cc creators!! pls we need more male hair with bangss

I am super bad at doing male hairs @ayoshi-sims​ can vouch for me on this omg I am just... not able to do any good ones egdfbv I will try something though :P also ur header is gorgeous

Anonymous said: OMG THE SIM IN YOUR LATEST TUTORIAL LOOKS LIKE FANTINE FROM THE STAGE MUSICAL OF LES MISÉRABLES LMAO

had to look this up but omg the hair looks super similar rgfgbrgfdc

Anonymous said: where did you get blender from?

S4S has them linked but : Blender 2.76 (32x)  |  Blender 2.76 (64x)

Anonymous said: Oh gosh your content is perfect 💖 really love your blog ~alesimmers

thank you!!!! <3

@lrby01​ said: your sims are so prettyyy!! whats your secret?

most of the time i get a random off the gallery and use that as a base tbh, duplicate one of my main 3 sims, or use one of @ayoshi-sims​

Anonymous said: Hiya! Would the accessories you made in your newest speed meshing video also work w your Paige and Jennie hairs? Since they have the same headband? Thanks!

I think I moved the headband shape some so I’m not entirely sure, I will check before release though.

Anonymous said: WHY U SAY  IN JULY WHEN IT JULY

??

Anonymous said: You are f*cking perfect! love you

thank you ;-; I am no where near being perfect though lmao

Anonymous said: Sorry of you already are going to do this but will you upload that cute hair from your speed meshing video you uploaded? The half up half down one? It's so cute!!! I love your cc 😍😍😍

depends on voting :( currently I don’t think it will be released in August (there are 4 hairs that have more votes then it). Voting ends the 24th though so go vote if u want it :P

Anonymous said: do u watch reacttothek or like other kpop react channels? seems like ur into kpop haha and they’re my fave

I have seen some of the reacttothek videos!!! mainly just when someone I stan releases something new

Anonymous said: omg how ur soo organized 😂

I like neatness ;-;

Anonymous said: Hi, what's your ID? There I can find the sims that you use for every hair? Thank you <3

origin ID is aharris00britney

Anonymous said: I adore your hairs! I have so many of them in my game and it makes me so happy when I see what you have coming up. I was wondering if you have ever considered converting some of the hairs for kids as well as teens and older? I would love some kid hairs from you. Thanks for all that you do! <3

me and @ayoshi-sims​ are talking about collabing again and if we do then it will have some kids hair conversions :P

Anonymous said: Does the anathema palette you use for ur hairs have one for eyebrows?

I don’t think so :( not many people use the palette but I use the WMS eyebrows and then someone recolored the CC eyebrows I use in the WMS palette too. Links are on my resource page (which i know is broken rn but links still work)

Anonymous said: hi im sorry but are you a boy? ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

yeah! i am a boy lmao :P

Anonymous said: when i go to your resources page none of the pictures work?

I know ;n; all of my photos broke a few weeks ago (including all 140+ of my download page photos) so I had to change the links of the images from imgur to tumblr and it was a huge mess. I’m not happy with my current resource page so I am planning on redoing it eventually.

Anonymous said: Are you wcif friendly? If so where can I find the fruit choker on your last lovely sim. If not no worries. Hoping you’re having a rad day friend ❤️            

@ayoshi-sims​ drew it on, sorry ;-; thank you btw

Anonymous said: how close are you with ayoshi?

we’re engaged, wedding in winter

Anonymous said: let me just say I love the kpop references like the Minnie hair cause  kpop is my spirit animal but anyways I love you

yasssss

Anonymous said: f(x)?🧡💛

yeah i went to the funeral, what about it?

Anonymous said: So I just watched your speed mesh video and found myself wondering, what is the purpose of using edge split? I'm currently learning blender and though I've googled for various explanations, I'm unsure of what it achieves in terms of TS4 meshing.

sometimes when you remove doubles from the entire mesh, it makes weird shadows (you can see them in solid mode) that are super dark. Edge splitting gets rid of them without causing a seam to show in the mesh

Anonymous said: Wow, I've never sent an ask to you but I thought I'd just send some love your way! Your an amazing creator and I love that you take your time with each one of your creations. I love your edits and they inspire me to do better with mine! I love that you not only do straight hair but also curly, wavy and braided hair! Your sims are so beautiful and so are you! I always look forward to your cc too! :) Hope you have a great day/night!

thank you so so so much omfg i really appreciate it!!!

Anonymous said: hope this doesn’t sound rude, but why don’t you just release all the hair? I don’t know much about making custom content but it looks to me as if they’re finished, but I could be completely wrong of course. I was basically just wondering why you choose to do it this way if you don’t mind me asking :-)

I am trying to make sure I have enough to release if college gets super busy and releasing 3 a month is enough to have a pretty good amount of 36 hairs a year. Wasn’t a rude question at all btw :P

Anonymous said: OH MY GOD YOU'RE ADORABLE Anonymous said: omg you are literally the hottest thing ive seen all day and its 100 degrees outside *heart eyes motherfucker*         Anonymous said: ur cute    

i choked at these omg XD thank you

[marinsawakening]

2 3 4 and 7 for ur meme >:3 let the salt come forth

2: Most amatonormative ship?

UHHHHH of all time??? or just in FMA??? oh shit should’ve probably thought this one through before making the ask meme lmao

okay so I’ll do in FMA first because it’s the easiest and uh. that’d be alm/ei. there’s literally no reason for either al or mei to have a love interest, its clearly used as a gag in canon, it was pretty much 100% onesided in canon, but for some godforsaken reason the fandom just?? loves it???? and considers it canon that they’d get married later in life?????? I mean I’m not gonna say that Arakawa wouldn’t agree with that but. she and everyone else is would be wrong. Al is aro and Mei is lithro and they try a relationship post canon but it doesn’t work out bc they’re arospec babe so they decide to be good friends instead and its a relief for everyone involved and that’s the truth.

Of all time…. that’s tough. I’m gonna go with Ca/leo (calypso/leo from the heroes of olympus franchise) even though I’m sure there’s worse things out there because I remember being FUCKED UP MAD when good ol’ uncle rick decided to pair off literally the only character from the original series that didn’t get a love interest because that was LITERALLY HER ENTIRE POINT and then decided to pair of leo because amatonormativity I guess AND THEN decided that they wouldn’t actually work as a couple so he just fucking. changed calypso’s entire personality. and I don’t mind that change much bc I like her better in HOO but YOU CAN’T JUST CHANGE CHARACTERS YOUR NOT HAPPY WITH RICK ESPECIALLY NOT FOR A ROMANCE THATS NOT HOW IT WORKS. anyway im still salty about HOO can you tell.

3. Most amatonormative ship fic trope?

*slams my fist on table* HANAHAKI DISEASE. yes I know that the aro community as a whole is really Done with soulmates and I totally understand and respect that (even if my own feelings are a lot more complicated) bc they’re amatonormative as heckie and much more widespread but like. the entire concept of hanahaki disease is ‘if someone doesn’t love you back you will get TERMINALLY ILL” and I mean??? who the fuck???? thought this was cute????? seriously what the fuck.

4. What popular ship has the least chemistry?

Well I already used alm/ei so and I’m disqualifying ro/yed on grounds of wanting to make this fun so…. pissing people off lets go with edw/in. it sucks. its bad for winry’s character development and completely superfluous to the story. we gain absolutely nothing by having ed and winry be romantically involved. they work way better and are way cuter as friends, and we would lose no story beats whatsoever except for the proposal at the end which was awkward as fuck in my opinion. like if your ship contains canon dialogue like “were his shoulders always so broad” (or something either way it was winry busing about Ed’s shoulders which…. is that a thing? that I missed?) and “wait at home and bake me an apple pie” (again, something among those lines), that’s…. not great chemistry. sorry you guys i just don’t see it. 

7. Which ship discourse is the funniest?

*pulls out my time in the VLD fandom* LET ME TELL YOU A THING

(under the cut because this shit is too fucking long)

okay so for the most part the VLD fandom wasn’t actually…. that bad. I mean it was childish and volatile as fuck and everyone was really hostile to each other don’t get me wrong, but honestly, it’s not the worst fandom experience I’ve ever had, and once I managed to carve out a little niche for myself it was pretty enjoyable (also a lot of the fans were autistic which. neat). 

but there was one event in that fandom that just fucking. killed me. and I’m still not over it. 

so once every three months or so (on average, sometimes it’d happen multiple times a month and sometimes it’d say quiet for months on end) we had some Major Bullshit happen that got on top of the regular ship wars. sometimes it was something a cast member (Pidge’s voice actress, usually) had said or reblogged, sometimes it was new age ‘confirmation’ that just added wood to the fire of the regular discourse, sometimes it was a new Hot Take™ on the show that everyone loved for a while until someone inevitably pointed out that it was ooc/problematic/etc. and then everyone hated it, etc. etc. pretty standard volatile fandom stuff, all things considered, with the vast majority of the discourse having valid points but being taken way out of proportion because of the sheer size of the fandom.

the shaladin discourse is definitely a good example of that. the main point of the anti side in that discourse is ‘hey don’t ship shiro with the other paladins he is an adult and they are teenagers’ and the point of the anti anti side is ‘don’t tell me what to do you pearl clutching purists’ which. i mean im clearly biased here. but the discourse was blown so far out of proportion, primarily because, again, this fandom is too fucking big, but also because a lot of people involved in the discourse were kids themselves. you basically had a bunch of 14/15-year-olds who by and large haven’t quite mastered critical thinking yet yelling at each other in debates that got very emotional very easily. (not saying this to be condescending, lord knows we should all be happy that I wasn’t into fandom when I was fifteen or I would’ve 100% been the person going ‘well actually it’s called ephebophilia get your terms right’ so we all dodged a bullet there. but im just saying that, historically, young teenagers don’t have the best trackrecord for rational, calm discussions, and it really showed.)

so, why am I taking the time to tell you all of this? so that you have proper context to how stupidly ridiculous this discourse was on a regular basis. many (most) of the people in this fandom seemed to totally forget that, while telling people not to ship pedophilia or stuff like that is generally pretty important, it’s ultimately still fandom bullshit and doesn’t really, actually matter that much in the grand scheme of things. it very quickly became a very strong ‘us vs. them’ mentality on both sides that resulted in actually pretty seriously toxic behaviour like death threats (although the anti side definitely had more of a tendency to go witch hunting after people, shaladins were absolutely not exempt from Bullshit, as you’ll see below). like i shit you not we were all genuinely waiting for the time someone would get stabbed irl over it or something, it was so tense.

and at some point, at what I consider the height of this stupid discourse, came Operation Shalanonymous.

I might be getting the name wrong, but they genuinely called it something like that, with a serious graphic behind it. I shit you not. This whole thing was so, so surreal.

Operation Shalanonymous was literally a spyop. A 15-year-old shaladin (and maybe some others, I don’t remember) who at the time went by the url ‘theblackguardianofsheith’ or something similar (they deleted, to my knowledge, and I hope they’re living their best life) pretended to be an anti and went ‘undercover’ in an anti discord server, with the purpose of ‘exposing’ the antis for what they really were. they gathered a bunch of screenshots and such, and then released them all as ‘damning evidence’ onto Tumblr, claiming that they showed evidence of sexual harrassment and hypocrisy, among other things. 

I can’t remember all of the accusations, but some were pretty serious, so I took the time to go through the screenshots and found… very little. there were some distasteful remarks here and there in the form of ‘i wanna kill [insert shaladin]’ that the mods shouldn’t have let slide, and a childish, kinda sexualizing derogatory nickname for the shaladin in question in the form of ‘hunty’, but those two things were really the worst of it. yes, this behaviour was bad and the mods shouldn’t have let it slide or participated in it, but all in all? not worth an entire spyop. if anything, what I found much more damning was that the shaladin (who, as a reminder, was 15 as well) had written a couple of little notes on the screenshots drawing attention to some particular messages of a then 13-year-old anti who said they had a crush on shiro. the notes themselves would’ve been nothing more than childish IF that same 13-year-old hadn’t just come out of a massive dogpiling attack where they were repeatedly misgendered and accused of wanting to have sex with adults themself despite them being a csa survivor. so attempting to throw back to that discourse to ‘prove’ some kind of hypocrisy was distasteful at best and honestly, it did not make them look very good.

so yeah. as you can imagine, the discord members and mods took that very well, and just. for a while, Operation Shalanonymous was this actual Thing, where shaladins were crying that the antis were finally exposed and the antis were accusing the spying shaladin of sending graphic rape porn into the chat to shock users, which the 15-year-old shaladin refuted by saying that they were attempting to get them to do something about it (apparently they were trying to get it taken down or something, but I genuinely have no clue why they thought the antis could help with that, but then again, this whole situation was so far-fetched and there was little evidence provided that this was actually ‘graphic rape porn meant to scar csa survivors’, like the antis claimed either, so like. i don’t fucking know), and accusations went back and forth for a while. it was a mess.

and this, this right fucking here, is hands down the most childish, most distasteful, most useless ship discourse that I’ve ever encountered. not only did someone actually take the time and energy to pretend to be an anti for quite some time in order to ‘spy’ on antis, they also decided to, in all seriousness, release the screenshots under the actual fucking name ‘Operation Shalanonymous’, dropping them like they were the fucking panema papers. like guys??? you know this is the fucking voltron fandom, not goddamn wikileaks, right???? these are not state secrets you’re releasing. they’re screenshots from a fandom chat. it. doesn’t. matter. that. much.

there were some genuinely horrifying things that went down during this whole debacle, and I probably shouldn’t find it as funny as I do, since this really was a prime example of how toxic people can get when they think they’re in the right, especially when the person in question is a teenager (who, again, don’t have the best track record for emotional regulation and foresight). but I just fucking can’t take this shit serious. you gotta remember that a 15-year-old was mostly heading this thing, and it really shows; the whole entire set-up and pay-off was just overwhelmingly childish, and it makes me so, so glad that I wasn’t into fandom at that age, because who knows what shit I would’ve pulled. and I just can’t stop imagining what everyone involved will think of this shit when they’re in their twenties or thirties. because god. ship discourse does not matter this much, guys. it really, really doesn’t, and this whole debacle was nothing but an embarrassment for everyone involved. 

so anyway that was hands down the most ridiculous ship discourse I’ve ever witnessed, thanks for coming to my history lesson.

[issyaboimoony]

So I said that I’d be posting WIP/abandoned projects, and I’ll actually kick this off with one of the works that was suppose to be for Valentine’s (and instead I chose angst). Essentially, Chi Chi makes a Valentine for Goku - that ends up being delivered to Piccolo on accident:

Chi Chi wrapped up her little box with a pink ribbon, and set it into the hands of a little plush monkey. All in all, she thought it looked rather cute. A grin worked its way onto her face, as she mentally prepared to deliver it to Son Goku. He’d been her best friend for years, and she couldn’t wait to confess her feelings to him tomorrow. Ever since they were children, she’d dreamed of marrying him, and today would be her first major step in that direction.

She went to bed, visions of the upcoming day bounding through her mind. She had made sure to set her alarm clock extra early, to ensure that she arrived to school before Goku. She’d made her way down the hall, the monkey and chocolates tucked into an inconspicuous brown bag.

She arrived at classroom 2-C, and tried to recall where exactly Goku sat. She wandered in between the desks, before she managed to spot one that had Krillin’s name engraved on it. She remembered Goku saying that he sat next to Krillin, and she quickly placed the bag down. She ran out of the classroom, heart fluttering as she giddily made her way back to her own homeroom.

**

Piccolo walked into class with Nail behind him, and headed towards their seats. They both stopped dead, however, at the sight of Piccolo’s desk.

“What is that?”

“I—a bag?”

“Is there a bomb in it?”

“You’re seventeen! Who’s trying to bomb you?”

Piccolo pressed his lips into a thin line, before he gave the bag an experimental prod. He’d never once, in all of his life, received a present. Well, there had been one time when his religious uncle had tried to cram an entire Porunga statue underneath Piccolo’s pillow while he slept, but he didn’t count that.

“Open it up,” Nail ordered. He had already seated himself, and had promptly dropped his books to cover up the graffiti on the surface from the previous owner. It was a rather sore spot for Nail, who found it quite offensive. Piccolo had sat through more than one rant about respecting belongings.

“I still don’t trust it.” Piccolo grumbled as he prowled around the edge of the desk. He dropped his backpack onto the ground, and tentatively opened it. The paper rustled, and inside he was greeted by an offensive amount of pink.

Piccolo furrowed his brow. He reached in, and pulled out a stuffed monkey, along with a heart shaped package, wrapped up in a neat little bow. Nail stared, slack-jawed, as Piccolo reached in to find a note written.

I’m not terribly good with flowery words, but I’ve always had feelings for you. I’ll meet with you at lunch.

Love, Chi Chi

“Chi Chi…?” Piccolo balked. He knew of Gyumao Chi Chi—he certainly didn’t know her well enough to have ever expected love notes from her. Nail had already reached over to claim the paper so he could read it, while Piccolo still attempted to process what exactly was happening.

“It’s a Valentine,” Nail explained. He seemed just as incredulous as Piccolo. “Though… who in the hell is Chi Chi? I’ve never heard of her. I thought you didn’t have friends?”

“I don’t,” Piccolo griped, and sunk into his seat. He stared at the pathetic stuffed monkey, and imagined it without its creepy large eyes. “And… Gyumao Chi Chi is this girl I have Home Ec with…”

“As someone who doesn’t eat dishes, why the hell are you taking that class?”

“Easy A,” Piccolo replied, with a shrug. “And all of the other electives sounded horrible.” All the ‘Topics on Etc’ had required more writing than he’d wanted to supply, anything to do with band gave him a headache, and he had a horrendous voice, which ruled out choir. With no options left, he’d opted for Home Ec, which was the only interaction he’d ever had with Chi Chi. And, even that was minimal.

The most they ever dealt with one another was when they were teamed up for an assignment, when the bossy girl shoved him to a corner, or delegated him for something simple like chopping onions. He didn’t hate her, but he sure as hell wasn’t her biggest fan. The Chi Chi he knew was rude and loud—he couldn’t imagine her picking out such a cute stuffed animal, or piecing together such an atrocious looking package.

He told Nail all of this, who merely hummed thoughtfully.

“Maybe she’s mean to you, because she likes you? Teasing the person you have a crush on, you know?” Nail thoughtfully pressed his forefinger to his chin. “Vegeta and Bulma constantly prank one another, and its honestly only a matter of time before they hook up.”

Piccolo was doubtful, but then again, there was no way to misconstrue this. Gyumao Chi Chi had delivered a Valentine to him—his very first. He didn’t know how to feel about it at all. He supposed most people were overjoyed at such a confession, but Piccolo…

His frown deepened, just as Yamcha and Krillin entered the class.

They chattered happily as they sat down, while Nail continued talking.

“So how do you feel about it?” he persisted. “This’ll be your first girlfriend.”

“A lot of assumptions happened in that sentence,” Piccolo retorted, and stuffed the monkey back into the paper bag. He held the chocolates aloft, and wrinkled his nose at them. “I can’t even eat these,” he complained.

“Are you getting a girlfriend?” Krillin had twisted in his seat to give Piccolo a bewildered look. Yamcha mirrored this, both looked very confused at this.

Nail grinned. “Gyumao Chi Chi gave him a Valentine.”

“Nail,” Piccolo gritted his teeth, but his cousin merely waved him off.

“Chi Chi did…? Huh, I didn’t know she liked you,” Yamcha furrowed his brow. “She never mentioned it before.”

“Maybe she’s just shy?” Krillin supplied. Yamcha stared at him. “Okay—I know Chi Chi’s pretty—uh—brazen—but sometimes she gets really into the maiden-girl stuff.” He looked to Piccolo. “She’s a nice girl, really! You should give her a try.”

Piccolo stared at the bald boy, and crossed his arms. He didn’t even feel the need to respond to this idiocy. He didn’t know why all Gyumao’s friends seemed to be taking it so well that he was the one she supposedly had a crush on. He was a big, green alien—they should have been far more concerned about her mental stability.

More students soon filtered in, however, and Piccolo hastily crammed all the evidence back into the bag. He could already hear a strange rustle of gossip around him, and for once Piccolo was at the heart of it for all the wrong reasons. His exploits as a fighter, or exaggerations of his ‘delinquency’ were always there—but he’d never heard any whispers about his romance before. He wished ill-luck upon both Nail and Gyumao Chi Chi for this mess.

**

Chi Chi was a nervous ball of energy the entire day. She scribbled down notes without participating in any of her classes. She couldn’t seem to get herself to calm down. She just kept thinking about how Goku was going to react. She was so focused on her hypothetical dream sequence, that she didn’t notice the amount of people that whispered about how her as she wandered in between classes.

It wasn’t until lunch that she noticed it, whenever Yamcha and Krillin approached her. They stopped her in the hall, and drew her out of her reverie, where she could see a few people loitered in the halls to peer at her.

Yamcha gave her an affectionate clap on the shoulder, and a rather wide grin.

“Good luck, Chi Chi!” he’d told her, and Krillin gave her a thumbs up.

She furrowed her brow. “Did… he show you the Valentine?” That was more than a little embarrassing, but she knew Goku could be dense at times. Perhaps he hadn’t been certain as to what the Valentine had really meant?

“Nail told us about it,” Krillin said. “People have been talking about it all day. Man, I’m really surprised with you, Chi Chi!”

That threw her off. She wasn’t aware that she’d ever been secretive about her feelings for Goku. At least—not to the point where everyone was entirely thrown off by the revelation. Around Goku her entire demeanor changed, and she was often much nicer. They spent plenty of time together outside of school, and were practically family already.

“Okay…” Chi Chi stepped around them, and held onto her backpack. She didn’t know this Nail person, either. Perhaps a new friend of Goku’s? The two boys once more wished her luck, and she headed into the cafeteria. She’d packed her lunch, so she could quickly snag a table before anyone else had gotten to it. She settled down, and attempted to calm herself as she opened her lunchbox.

She was distracted, however, as someone sat at the table across from her.

“Hey, I’m saving this seat,” Chi Chi said, before lifting her head. She was startled to see… what the hell was his name?... a kid from her Home Ec class there. He was large and green, with big elf-like ears. He had antennae that stood up at attention, while his small black eyes barely met hers.

“Yeah, I know you are. Look—I guess there’s nothing really wrong with you but, I’m not interested.” The green kid stared at her, and Chi Chi crinkled up her nose.

“What?”

“The—,” he dropped his voice down to a whisper, “the Valentine? Ringing any bells, Gyumao?”

Chi Chi still stared, stupefied.

He sighed, and reached down into his backpack, where he extracted the brown bag. He pushed it onto the table, and Chi Chi felt her entire face burn a fiery red. He pointed at it, and seemed to be waiting for something.

“Wh-Why on Earth do you have that?!” she shrieked, and the boy flapped his huge ears at the intrusive sound. Chi Chi quickly snatched the bag off the table. Her entire body felt as if it had been dipped in lava—all but her stomach, which was icy cold.

“You put it on my desk,” the boy said slowly, as if she were stupid. “I’m here to tell you I’m not interested.”

“It doesn’t matter if you were interested!” Chi Chi hissed. “Because it wasn’t for you!”

“Then what the hell was it doing on my desk?”

“How would I know?! Maybe you stole it! As if I’d give a big, green, ugly freak like you a Valentine!” Chi Chi shouted at the top of her lungs as she rose from her seat, embarrassed by the amount of people that looked her way. She snatched up her backpack, and her fuming face was met with an equally aggravated one from the other boy.

“I’m not interested in stealing your shitty chocolates,” he snarled. “Especially not from someone so stupid as to not be able to figure out which desk they put them on!”

“Fall in a hole and die!” Chi Chi shot back, voice acidic as she stomped out of the cafeteria. It wasn’t until much later, when she’d sunk onto a toilet seat in private, that she let her frustration reveal itself. She couldn’t even cry she was so angry, so she sat there, and punched the stall repeatedly. Far too embarrassed to return to class, she had called her father to check her out. She never asked to leave, so her father had been more than willing. She’d waited until class was in session to scuttle outside with her tail between her legs and clamber into her father’s truck.

“Princess, you okay?” Her father gave her a soft look, and his bushy moustache twitched with the frown that overcame him. Chi Chi didn’t answer, and instead stared resolutely out the window. Her rage was building. Anything that she could think to say was incredibly rude, which she wouldn’t subject her father to.

At home, she stormed upstairs, and threw her back pack with enough force against the wall to rattle all of the shelves. She then flopped onto her bed, her eyes stinging, and planned the alien boy’s bloody end until she finally fell asleep.

**

“Congratulations!” Goku clapped Chi Chi on the back, and it felt as if her humiliation had come full circle. She’d just sat down for lunch—after viciously snapping at anyone who tried to talk to her—when Goku had spotted her. “I didn’t realize you had a crush on Piccolo!”

Piccolo—the whole reason for her shame. Inside, she felt fire churn about in her belly, and she wanted to tell Goku the truth. But now…

“He’s a really swell guy, Cheech. He’s a bit odd,” Goku pinched his chin, and glanced upwards, “but, in a nice way!”

“He’s incredibly grumpy,” Yamcha argued as soon as he joined them. Chi Chi wanted to melt out of existence. “But hey, weren’t you yelling at him during lunch yesterday? Did he turn you down?”

“No!” Chi Chi’s voice was raw and guttural, and both boys gave her disturbed looks. Too angry to speak, she gripped her sandwich with enough force to puncture her finger through the bread.

“All right…” Yamcha returned to his own food, and motioned for Goku to do the same. Chi Chi sat and stewed in silence. It wasn’t until after lunch, that she remembered that today was odd periods, and she’d have Home Ec.

Where Piccolo was.

She stormed down the hallway, and people all around her scattered. The attention from the previous day had all evaporated. She didn’t know what had caused it, nor could she find it in herself to care much. In the classroom, people still gave her a wide berth, except for Piccolo, who was already in their cooking station, with his backpack slumped pathetically up against one of the cabinets.

Chi Chi tossed hers next to it, and sat at the stool beside Piccolo.

He remained silent.

“Not going to humiliate me again?” Chi Chi hissed, and she had to fight to keep her voice down as their teacher started class. She had a rather—loud—voice, if she were being honest, and she’d rather avoid any more embarrassing situations.

Piccolo flicked one ear at her. “You humiliated yourself,” he muttered. His notebook was open, and she saw that he was haphazardly scribbling just to look busy.

“I did not!” Her shrill voice cut through the air. She flushed as the teacher turned a rather stern gaze upon her, and Chi Chi quickly hid behind her bangs. She scrabbled into her backpack for a notepad of her own. She clutched angrily at the lead pencil, and tried to focus on the board. Typically, Home Ec was her favorite class. But now—of course she had to be paired with the source of all her problems.

They received their assignment, and Chi Chi scrambled out of her seat, and began gathering the ingredients. She saw Piccolo loitering by a cabinet, apparently studying the recipe once more. Chi Chi still felt rather vindictive, and gave him a rude snort.

“You never do anything in this class,” she said, “so why don’t you enjoy doing today’s assignment by yourself.” Chi Chi then tossed the ingredients on the counter top, tossed her hair up into a messy bun, and glared at him, daring Piccolo to argue back.

He appeared as if he were going to, before he cut his eyes to the side. He muttered something unintelligible under his breath, then turned his back to Chi Chi and started working.

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