#sometimes other non white ppl will say to me

[smiggles]

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[spacelazarwolf]

I’m really glad you added that addition to the European racism post because like I didn’t feel comfortable pointing out that aspect of antisemitism being a racialized thing in Europe. I also sometimes feel while it’s not really racialized here in America in the same way it still kind of is. The minute people find out I’m Jewish they treat me different a lot of times. Especially white gentile leftists. I feel othered and just idk I still think it’s racialized in America some too. It’s different than what bipoc people go through I know

definitely. there's this weird phenomenon where progressive gentiles* get like weirdly pissed off when they encounter jews whose physical and cultural features** don't qualify them as Not White under us standards of race but also don't look like what ppl think white ppl are supposed to look like either. they can't figure out what box we're supposed to be in, so they can't figure out how they're supposed to treat us, how important our voice is supposed to be, what we're allowed to talk abt, etc. i see it a lot with mixed and light skinned gentiles too, and it gets even more complicated for mixed jews.

we're not racialized the same way a lot of european jews are where it's like "we are assigning you to this category of Non Aryan Race", but i would argue we are definitely racialized in a sense of "we assumed jews were supposed to be white, but you're not fitting in that box and you're also not fitting in the poc box so we have no clue how the fuck to treat you" so we get treated as this bizarre schrodinger's white where society sees that we are Cultural Other or we just don't quite look white enough and then treats us accordingly, but if we try to talk about that then we get "shut up ur white!!!" and like, that's not to say that jews who can pass as white never experience privilege or conditional safety because of that, or that because of our complicated relationship with racialization that we can't perpetuate racism ourselves (we very much can, talk to a jew of color). but this socially assigned racial ambiguity makes it very difficult for a lot of us to be part of the current conversation about race in the us because people just do not know what the fuck to do with us and it freaks them out.

*i've experienced this from nonwhite gentiles but the vast majority of the time it's from white gentiles. **might make a post on what i mean by this later???

[jaegerisim]

Vent post y'all are gonna hate me for.

I viscerally hate how the Duffers treat most of their non white or queer characters and I hate even more viscerally, how y'all big byler blogs in your circle jerk of other 5 big byler blogs casually like to ignore many red flags the show has.

Y'all like to say: "tHe DufFeRs ArE gReAt WrIteRs" and it's like girl, who are you lying to??? They aren't top shit writers at all. The Duffers are pretty mid imo. Yeah, they run a good show that's fun to watch and theorize abt , but that doesn't mean they're good writers cuz they're not.

1. they completely side lined Will during s3 for the sake of their straight romances: lumax, jancy, mlvn, duzie and partly stobin (even if stobin wasn't endgame, thankfully, Steve's intentions were clearly wanting to date Robin and they gave it a lot of screen time). Will was sidelined bc he didn't fit the straight romance plotline bc they planned to make him gay or whatever. Now in s4 Will and his feelings have been used as mlvn toilet paper. Yes, we like to say this is build up for byler but canonically, Will's feelings have been used to clean the shit mlvn leaves behind.

2. Billy was sympathized a lot during the last 2 seasons. They gave him the sad backstoryTM in order for ppl to feel sorry for him. Billy's backstory is literally Jonathan's but whatever.

3. El's anger issues are constantly girlboss-ified. They down play her bullying situation and literally just use it for El to be a ''girlboss" without realizing how triggering that is. As someone who has lived bullying, seeing it be ignored by canon and fanon is super sad. The whole Rink-O' Mania experience must have been so traumatizing for her yet, everyone absolutely forgets abt it 🤷🏻‍♀️

4. Robin, Erica and Argyle are stereotypical characters. Robin is the quirky lesbian with social anxiety, Erica is the badass black woman and Argyle is the Latino stoner that sells weed to white kids and works as a pizza delivery guy.

5. Altho Argyle and Eddie both do drugs, (Eddie actually sells K-12 to a minor and nobody batted an eye. He has a huge fan base). Eddie is held in a pedestal bc "poor thing 🥺 he lives in a trailer with his uncle 🥺". Tell me a single fact you know abt Argyle that isn't "he smokes weed", "he is Jonathan's only friend", "drives a van" and "he works at a pizzeria". Exactly, Eddie is given a useless backstory and Argyle isn't.

6. Dustin stopped being important to the plot sometime around s2 and s3. He is only there to curse and be mildly funny. My guy needs to hangout with ppl his age cuz he only hangs out with seniors.

7. El needs to stop having so much "I'M THAT BITCH" screentime like I need in s5 for El's arc to not just be her becoming more powerful and falling in love with Mike. I need the Duffers to explore her trauma and problems.

8. Angela should have been run over by the van.

9. Patrick should have been given a backstory that isn't the basic "strict black parents that hit their kids cuz they are a disgrace". Patrick's backstory is actually racist af, fight w the wall.

10. As Lex already said, they didn't trigger tag the ep where Jason and his friends assault Lucas and Erica. Like wtf? Why was that necessary? Why did I have to see a black boy being held at gunpoint by some white guy?? Was it relevant to the plot?? I don't think so. And then I've got to see ppl online be like "Jason wasn't that bad. He was just mourning" like bitch you can stfu. This is what happens when you make the racist assholes conventionally attractive.

Also the fact that Lucas's arc is fulfilled by him fist-fighting Jason and "embracing his weirdness" aka accepting he is black. His arc was not fulfilled at all cuz that ending spoke so loud to me. It showed how little empathy ppl have towards the struggles poc ppl living in the Midwest have. Y'all circle jerks can only see racism when it's super obvious.

Furthermore, parents complained when ST showed "an excessive amount of smoking" yet nobody batted an eye when Billy tried to run over Lucas, when Erica (an 11 y.o ffs) was chased by white kids or when Lucas was held at gunpoint by Jason.

All of this happened while they focused on Max's guilt and mourning that, yeah, are important but certainly not less important than racism!!!

11. In s3, they gave us that whole Nancy vs The Bigots arc that was honestly just triggering and useless. It didn't help Nancy's character at all, quite the opposite it put unnecessary angst.

12. Lonnie being presented as an abuser just for him to never be spoken of again. Can we please get to explore the trauma he left the Byers's with?

13. The fact that both queer relationships are considered "sloppy seconds" is extremely sad. Both Vickie and Mike are rebounding from their failed relationship with Robin and Will. These 2 ships have caused more commotion than Jancy and Jopper together! (These last ships are technically sloppy seconds too but everybody forgets that. Shocker!!)

14. Last but not least, ppl blame Argyle for being the one to get Jonathan into smoking weed as if Jonathan probably wasn't the one looking for it. Let me tell you, that you only find weed if you look for it.

[pastadoughie]

MY NAME IS SPELLED WITF AN E AND NOT AN A get it RIGHT!!

hai! im rowen (he/him) and i draw thingse soemtimze!! im a queer (trans, intersex, gay) 17 (5-1-07) yr old furry artist :3 u probably know my blog for drawing many many silly kitties and miscilanious creechers, but i do other things!

i do requests (no ocs or fandom shit, ONLY silly) and i take commisions (i am working on a website to organize all the prices and stuff, but for now, just dm me if youre intrested)

i do all my art on mspaint (win10 ver.) unless explicitly stated otherwise, i just use the default pencil tool on 4px (the largest default size setting) witch is a round brush with no antialiasing

i use a drawing tablet, the XP-Pen Deco 1 V2 (Celeste, He/Him), and an ASUS Harman/Kardon i7 14.5 In. laptop (Chelsea, She/Her)

my blog mostly runs on a queue, witch is very long and only goes onse a day, so sometimes extremeley old artwork gets posted. for this reason posts that are recently posted are not nessasarily recently drawn. furthermore, asks sometimes take an extremely long time to post after ive actually answered them, so please dont resubmit things. (+ i have far too many askse to actually be able to answer them all. so asks that are very similar to things ive already answered, are extremely time consuming, or are just not that funny, are unlikely to ever be answered)

rebeast : is for reblogs of other peoples content

rowencatfanart : is for fanart people have made for me (if you make any please tag it as such, as well as mention me in the post)

the beast speaks : is for all my original text posts

retchid opinions : are for my own text posts where i actually say things of value and have an opinion on topics

screaming and scampering : is for when i say bullshit that doesnt matter

consulting thea council : is for polls of mine

rowens serious art : is for serious rendered art of mine

rowens liddol guys : is for sillies of all kinds that ive made

biblically accurate rowen : is for art of non-kitty me, for blacklisting purposes (i like to not be reminded i am a person when im scrolling thru my own blog) mspaint animations : for when i animate things on mspaint (onion skin is for cowards i let my heart guide me) rowens animatics : are for when i make, animatics, its really self explainatory. rowens advertising : is for when i advertise my products or twitch or commisions or whatever. for blacklisting purposes the mewsifixtion : is for when i give out easter eggs 2 ppl who send me asks. asks for this are currently CLOSED rowensumptions : are for when ppl send me headcannons they have abt me thru asks S teir wimpering : for the text postre ive made that r actualey funny rows gross old ort : for when i reblog old art of mine i tag all asks with the username of the person who asked them, so if u want to find a previous ask of yours i answered you can just search your own username i also try to tag asks i answer with the date of when they were sent to me, and the date i actually drew them, because the queue can make this confusing,,, i cant really retroactively see the send date of posts i made before this tagging change, so some we will simpley nevr know,,, dates are written in american date format. so month-day-year i always tag the software i use for each artwork, but its pretty much always MSPaint (Win10), though i occasionally do image editing in Asesprite

the gray and white kitty i draw most frequently is my catsona! he is not an oc and is specifically meant to represent me

i ask that you please do not use drawings of him as personal branding (such as pfps, banners, avatars, ect.)

the samething applies to my fursona, valentine, though his design changes too much to give an accurate ref for, i generally will specify in the tags

i am generally fine with people saying that my catsona is cute but please dont make any overly explicit comments about my fursona, or on my posts in general. i am a minor (i dont care if you say like, ouyhh bark bark i love men i get it hes meant to be attractive but use some common sense)

furthermore. for people who have blogs with alot of untagged sexually explicit content its best you dont interact with me, i have my age set properly, so i do not see sexual posts that are properly flagged, but if your posts ARENT flagged, and you interact WITH ME, then thats on YOU for exposing a minor for sexually explicit content

if you have minors DNI in your bio and make a whole song and dance abt how ggrrr!!! i block ageless blogs and minors!!! and then go and reblog my posts with sexual comments then thats on you. and not me.

i dont care that much frankly, about seeing joke posts abt penis or whatever, but there is a line. and if you are trying to curate a specifically adult space on your blog then you also have to put in the work to not intentionally loop minors into that

also. please do not act overly familiar with me, im a 17 yr old on the internet and not your friend. and while i am not opposed to meeting people on tumblr, there is a line and you need to actually build some kind of relationship with me before youre allowed to act like that.

u can find me on tumblr (duh) : @pastadoughie : my main @leftoverdough : is my reblog sideblog @scungledfiles : is the web graphics blog i run w/ my friend (@soggiedsocks) (though we havent been as active as of late cuz mentol ealness + i have been fopcusing moar on this blog) youtube : pastadoughie (i havent posted in 6 months ouhm, oops,) twitch : pastadoughie etsy : scungledthings (i also share this with @soggiedsocks, when contacting my shop you will most likely be talking to him and not me.) if you would like to contact me FOR COMMISIONS directly you can also do so discord : pastadough email : pastadough01@gmail.com PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE ONLY BUISNESS INQUIRIES!! stupid shit should be sent via ask or tumblr dm. DO NOT FLOOD MY EMAIL!! i WILL block you!! --- Last Updated : 5-1-2024

[apollos-olives]

wanted to get your thoughts on this.. palestinian to palestinian lol.... but if this is overstepping i am so sorry bc overstepping was not my intention.

im palestinian american but my roots trace back to gaza -- specifically beit lahia. am i an asshole for getting mad when non-palestinians buy things or take advantage of things that are obviously meant for ppl of gazan roots?

great example of this is how the gaza kufiya from hirbawi always sells out first { and i [a person w roots in gaza] feel like [i am not entitled to getting it but like --] out of all ppl who should be selling it out i feel like it should be us gazans!!!!!!}

+ i seem to always get videos on my socials of non-palestinians (especially white ppl) wearing the gaza kufiya. it sometimes feels like i have to use all my strength to just scroll past the video rather than get upset in their comments section because i know that does nothing for me or them.

sorry for the late response but no dude listen. your feelings are absolutely valid.

i'm very happy that people are sharing appreciating our culture but i also get frustrated because there is a line that many people cross and it does get irritating. i do understand how you are frustrated that the gaza kuffiyeh gets sold out first, and how you think gazans should be the ones to sell and wear them instead. i get it! trust me, i do. but there is also the fact that hirbawi is the last factory in palestine. hirbawi is preserving and saving our cultural traditions and clothings, so while i understand your frustration in that you think it should solely be a gazan thing, with how our situation is going, i think it's appropriate (for now) for hirbawi to be selling kuffiyehs from all over palestine, not just gaza. i feel like the situation really depends on context, and since palestine is in a really awful state right now, i don't believe our criticism should be louder than our support. of course, once palestine is freed and more palestinian factories are put up, then yes! i think gazans should sell gazan kuffiyehs and designs and i think other cities and villages should sell their own designs as well. it's just that hirbawi is very vitally important to palestine and to preserve the authentic kuffiyeh, so that's why i don't have much of an issue (for now).

however i DO have an issue with people wearing and disrespecting our cultural clothings. non palestinians who change our clothings outside of what we have instructed to do with them is HORRENDOUSLY disrespectful and i do feel very bitter about it. so your feelings are absolutely valid.

i have a similar issue with the dabke. seeing these random white people dancing the dabke on tiktok for views is genuinely so disgusting to me that i feel so enraged about it. seeing people doing the dabke for attention and not really for the appreciation of palestinian culture and community makes me just ! ugh ! so like anon, i get it. people using our culture outside of what we have told them to do is very frustrating and your feelings are valid for not liking it.

so like, it really depends on the situation. i think people ARE doing cultural appropriation, but at the same time, like i said, we shouldn't be criticizing palestinian companies for selling and sharing parts of our culture for awareness. if it were a different time and a different scenario, then i'd 100% say that we should gatekeep and not share our culture with anyone. but support for the cause is needed and the best way to show our support is to buy from palestinian brands and not criticize more than care.

i'm sorry if this wasn't well answered, i just think it truly depends on the situation. i hope this helps though

[youremyheaven]

Hey! You said you were Indian and I saw in another post you said you don’t talk to ppl much about ur astrology interest bc it’s too woo woo and seen as something of older generations (pls correct me if I’m wrong!). I just wanted to ask what the general attitude of Vedic astrology is India ? I imagine it would be hard to generalise just considering how many sects of Hinduism there are and how huge India is. Also this may be silly (and I hope I don’t sound ignorant) but do you learn about it at school? Not necessarily in a religious way but like from an academic, historical way? I live in Europe for example and I go to a historically catholic university, and so I have a course on ancient Roman religion which ofc doesn’t have much to do with our modern context or anything, but inadvertently we do learn about astrological signs and their archetypes. Just wondering if there would be an equivalent in Indian schools?

This post is so long winded I’m sorry. Last question: have you ever heard of the proto-indo-European theory, in terms of the origins of certain ancient religions in regions of Europe and Asia? It’s a super interesting linguistic theory, I would like to explain but this anon is already super long haha, I would recommend reading about it tho, and if you would like I could totally explain!

Yes I did indeed say those things. India is a large country and a country of a billion people. Astrology is a big part of Hindu culture. Some people are more religious than others and more superstitious than others. Astrology is not synonymous with religion tho. Its a part of it but not all religious people are going to also be deeply invested in astrology? Many people are but its not necessary. However, astrology is very important in certain areas of life, when fixing a marriage for example; since arranged marriages are common in India, astrologers are consulted (and being an astrologer is a real job here too) to draw up the synastry chart (we call it kundli milan which kind of means chart matching?? very literal lol, its to see how much your charts match with each other) and its a very elaborate process and on many occasions marriages don't take place because the kundlis dont vibe well or because it spells doom and gloom (indian astrologers can be vvv black and white, they will literally say "if you marry xyz, you will die a painful death etc although in many traditions its forbidden to predict death??), astrology is also used to fix a muhurat which means the most auspicious time to perform that activity? suppose you're constructing a house or moving into a home or getting married or sometimes even with elective C section, people choose the date based on the astrology of it (after consulting an astrologer)

regardless of caste or sects, astrology is kind of deeply permeated into Hindu culture and even many non Hindus are invested in it. contrary to what popular depictions of India may have you believe, religious syncretism is very much alive and has long been a part of Indian culture. so many Hindus go to dargahs, celebrate muslim festivals and many muslims celebrate hindu festivals and go to temples and there are many other religions in india as well and everybody kind of has a mish-mash of many different belief systems. but i would say upper caste Hindus can often be more "puritan" in their practices and beliefs and less willing to embrace others. all that said, for a lot of people, especially the younger generations (more than 50% of indians are below the age of 25) astrology is tied to superstition simply because for many many years, astrology has been used in many damaging ways.

indian astrologers can make very black and white predictions and since Indians in general love to be fatalistic and believe things are predetermined at birth, astrology negatively feeds this attitude and often punishes people who've done nothing wrong (here's an article that goes into some of it) an astrologer can say that your cousin will negatively impact your business and some people will go out on a limb and murder that cousin 💀💀im not in the slightest bit exaggerating when i say that people often take astrological predictions to the extremes in india. esp in the context of arranged marriage, it often happens that the person who is a perfect astrological match for you is some 34yr old man with a pedo stache (and you're 20 and the astrologer predicts that if you dont get married by 23 your family's luck will be ruined) so astrology is majorly practiced in ways that are demoralising and fcked up. this is why people think youre kind of insane or stupid or straight up fcked in the head if they know you believe in or practice astrology. its hard to try to explain to them that im more into decoding patterns based on the mythology of the stars and understanding the more philosophical and symbolic meaning of nakshatras *sigh*

no we dont study astrology in schools and its not looked at as a "legitimate" study either. spirituality is largely looked at as a scam in india because we have sooo many fake gurus and fake astrologers peddling their bs. astrology and spirituality are also heavily gatekept. many believe in it but they dont study it even if they practice it lol

i looked it up and all i could understand is that there is a common ancestor language to indian languages and european languages?? 😭idk more than that but it would be nice if you could explain it. idk if you mentioned it randomly or if there is a connection between the theory and vedic astrology?? either way, id like to hear your thoughts<333

sorry that this is soooo long lol

[not-alien-girl-v]

Internet Hcs About the Evans

i don’t know. read it

warning: like everything language mentions of porn idk dont read it if ur gonna be like ew stop being lewd

Tate: Knows the fnaf lore. Specifically watched Markiplier play it and also a Sally Face fan like hardcore and kins both Sal and Larry equally. Has a Tumblr acc but it’s only to interact w fanart of fnaf and sally face and like idk follow other fan accs he’s one of those empty accs with some random ass username no posts no bio no prof pic just his name in lowercase. has a deviantart?? again doesn’t post just to look at fanart he’s really into fanart and almost gets into reading fanfiction about his various interests but ultimately decides against it cuz i feel like violet would clown on him for it if she ever found out

Kit: Has an insta but it’s private with like 27 followers and it’s all like just his family and friends and sometimes when his friends post he’ll comment something like ‘Looking good bud 👍’ and then disappears from the internet for another month or two until he gets a notif that his wife posted or something. too scared to go on twitter and i don’t blame him. for the most part he just doesn’t understand how the internet works and has no intentions of finding out so he leaves it alone. he also has a facebook but same rules apply with the instagram only ever goes on to hype up his wife and kids and sometimes friends

Kyle: frat boy sorry cuz i don’t imagine frankenkyle can fathom the internet anyway i feel like kyle gets into debates online like way too much and he sees nothing wrong w the fact that he’s like actively searching out bigots to give a piece of his mind to. he’s got a tiktok and only follows like racist sexist ppl so his feed is full or opportunities to curse someone out digitally. he’s also got a twitter thats almost been banned a lot. he’s completely anonymous w it tho and his insta is completely regular he’s got like maybe 900-1000 followers just of like his friends and frat guys from his own or other frats and a bunch of girls who asked for his insta cuz they thought he was cute even though he never replies to flirty dms. he WOULD have several white boy went fishing posts and you guys can’t argue w me on this ok i wrote too much for him. he definitely has a lot of girls commenting every time he posts and i think his brothers would give him a lot of shit for not ‘jumping on that shit’ but he’s all like ‘oh i’m old fashioned u know i’m not like that’ has an active snapchat that he adds stories to all the time but once again never responds to messages

Jimmy: he has an account on instagram, twitter, probably facebook but they’re all mostly like linked to the freak show ykwim like he’d have like a verified checkmark but he only ever posts like freak show related announcements or like every now and then a little video that he records of him and some other ppl in the show behind the scenes and it’s captioned like ‘come see us (enter date here)’ and that’s pretty much it he’s not super big on being active in social media because he claims he has plenty of friends irl he doesn’t need fake robot friends. also may not know how the internet works

James: i mean sally runs the hotels official instagram page and all other socials and he probably has no idea that she’s doing that until he finds out she posted some image of video of him on one of the accounts and then some guests recognize him at the hotel and say like ‘omg ur that guy!!’ and he has no idea what it all means n shit. I think he would get a great kick out of instagram reels like non tiktok but you know how like a month after a trend happens on tiktok then it goes to reels? right like he eats that shit up he thinks its the funniest goddamn thing like funny cat videos or someshit

Kai: right so like we all know he trolls reddit and 4chan and posts rude reviews on thatcow. the kinda guy that kyle finds himself internet battling like this is the enemy he's been preparing for. he has a tiktok to stay relevant and he's just a comment section lurker 'user17896379' type shit he just likes various biggoted comments and occasionally replies just to start fights and shit. he's got a facebook and insta where he's totally normal tho like 'hey guys vote me for senate!!' again similar to kyle but like opposite ends of the same spectrum. i would love to view his search history. searches the most despicable things on p0rn websites every time he yanks it and i just am desperate to know what shit he's looking at

[menalez]

can we talk about blackface and the trans movement? I would like to hear you expand on your thoughts because I (white) don't really see the issue with comparing drag to blackface. they're both instances of someone dressing up to mock an oppressed group for fun. trans people are a little different, at least white people don't usually claim to actually be black. I feel like they're fairly comparable and it's a comparison I have used irl with people when trying to convey my thoughts to a layperson

sure. so, blackface is mocking traits associated with and innate to black ppl. black ppl aren’t raised to darken their skin or curl their hair, they just tend to exist with brown (or darker) skin and afro-textured hair. blackface involves imitating those traits and then mocking black people while wearing those imitations.

drag queens are men dressing up in feminine clothing, being flamboyant, and sometimes using breast prosthetics. many argue the breast prosthetics and the extreme padding are offensive which makes sense as it’s often an extreme caricature of women’s actual forms and often also sexualised. but then there’s drag queens who don’t wear any of that and are mainly just men in a shit tonne of makeup and feminine clothing. so drag can literally exist and be without actually mocking any of the innate traits of being female, blackface cannot. drag is often gnc men taking femininity to the extreme, blackface is purely just non-black ppl (saying this bc even some poc have partaken in blackface in their respective countries) mocking black ppl’s traits, drawing on big red lips or white lips, wearing afro wigs, and painting themselves black. blackface cannot possibly be separated from the mockery of black people. drag can be and has been. here’s an example of a queen who doesn’t use breast prosthetics or padding:

when we argue the mere act of being a gnc man performing in extreme femininity is automatically the same as blackface, we’re also implying femininity is innate to women and that it’s exclusive to women. OR we’re arguing drag has to include the misogynistic aspects to be drag.

beyond that, white people were literally celebrated for putting on blackface. they’d gain a lot of fame and money for it. blackface was used to even fuel the hatred of and stereotypes against black people. black people were often not even seen as human and blackface was an extension of that. on the other hand, drag queens, being gnc gay males, were often ostracised. many have faced homelessness, extreme abuse, and hate crimes for being what is visibly a gnc male. it is only a recent, and quite western liberal phenomena, that they’re being celebrated as anything other than perverts.

now, i don’t think drag is flawless. i also don’t think it’s inherently bad. i think that a lot of drag is misogynistic and people make good points when they say it’s not a man’s place to make fun of gender roles placed on women via extreme femininity and mockery of femininity. there’s also another good point about drag’s links to minstrel shows. however, i don’t think that drag and misogyny are inseparable the way blackface and racism is. and white people doing blackface were the privileged majority mocking the minority. drag being specifically a gnc gay male thing was never celebrated the same way and was for a lot of history not at all accepted. men were not rewarded for being gnc, in fact being gnc made them a clear target of homophobic attacks and often led to them being killed or hate crimed. it’s just… v different to me lol and honestly too many black ppl have taken issue with this comparison for me to be like “but ur wrong they’re the same :/” when a man wearing the dress will never be exactly the same as a white man painting himself black

[yakultstanreblog]

I kid you not I was just sitting in the uni library and before getting up to give up for the day and leave I wrote in my notes app kinda jokingly but kinda not:

“maybe western beliefs are just so wrong maybe no amount of doctor can fix me maybe I am simply cursed lol for I have sinned many times and seek no forgiveness - a new level of insanity or clarity” (Ik my notes are full of weird shit.. I was also studying medical dominance and how westerners have made it seemingly superior to other forms of health practices/understandings such as religious sin etc for context)

AND I WALK OUT OF THE LIBRARY, START WALKING HOME WITH MY SAD MUSIC ON REPEAT, ON THE VERGE OF TEARS FOR NO REASON(bc life rough but im fine), ON THE EDGE OF CAMPUS AND AM FULLY FINDING MYSELF WILLINGLY BEING PREACHED TO BY A CULT about the heavenly mother oh my god they’re getting smarter LIKE SM SMARTER cause I almost believed this was just a hella feminist Christian for a solid 10 minutes help im out of practice I haven’t been approached by a cult member in like 6 months cos I rarely leave the house ANYWAYS luckily for me I have an unhealthy special interest? in the researching of cults and every single step of their indoctrination particularly the correlation of various korean cults indoctrinating australian white women (when I say cults I don’t just mean religious organisation, cos while there is valid argument that all religion could TECHNICALLY be cult-like, I need u to know I respect religion for others and what it is and am aware there are some prominent factors which differentiate normal religious organisation from genuine proper cult) luckily this particular cult wasn’t going to take me to meet its rapist leader in korea like most the other in melb but it does isolate u from ppl u know and force u to “donate” all ur money lmao fail bc im already socially isolated and I have no money LOLOOL anyways usually they ask for ur number but they also have half given up when u tell them u used to be religious and ur not anymore bc ur critical but this time they just gave me their number cos I think they thought I was like fully convinced cos I was stupidly engaging in the discourse with half interest (but only bc I was trying to make sense if what they were telling me was accurate or not from a religious standpoint bc I was raised Catholic) but sneakily she was telling me all about the Hebrew bible and shit with examples of Hebrew text I couldn’t read LOLOL and what I rlly should have said is god is not my mother or father bitch my (ex) god ain’t male or female, my god if existent be a genderless non human spirit referred to as “he” bc we live in a patriarchal society where male pronouns are pretty standard in referring to just about anything in English language ANYWAYS I lowkey love engaging w cult members while some ppl say dangerous I usually detach my interest while talking as further research into their communicative ways but today I was caught so off guard bc at my particular uni there are usually just religious preachers sometimes who have no ill intent and see my gay stickers on my laptop and give up before they even start knowing they are gonna fail but these ppl defs didn’t go to my uni they were just waiting on the outskirts for sad uni students to approach LMAO mission accomplished also they told me im a good listener when I was like zoning out bc I said yes yes yes when they asked me if I was aware of particular religions events and terms lol that was not very convincing bc I was not demonstrating good listening at all ANYWAYS this was a pointless and probably an incomprehensible story that I cbf reading over hope u enjoyed stay safe don’t go getting indoctrinated into a cult

[raviosrupees]

Super Specific Linked Universe Headcanons Pt 1.

All of the Links are autistic but they all have wildly different ways of presenting it. Ask me about their special interests, please. Please.

Warriors is in his 20s. He is an Aquarius. I'm right.

Sky is the ultimate straight cis ally, but he has bi wife energy. He is best friends with Legend, and they're kind of inseparable.

Twilight is a taurus, he's cis and bisexual, but leans towards women and fem ppl (and too hung up to think about anyone but one woman)

Wild is taller than yall think, 17 or 117 whatever is more convenient for him, zelda told him his birthday is november 7th (scorpio, ofc) and he just accepts that.

Hyrule is pansexual (mostly cis but might be genderfluid, he likes to wear feminine clothes and makeup)

Four is like? 3'8, and he's 20 yo but most people don't believe him. He's a trans boy, and most of the colors are too besides vio, who I think is either genderfluid or pangender, uses all pronouns. Four is bisexual but leans towards guys, though he loves his Zelda.

Legend is 4'10, 17 yo, born december 14th at midnight. he is trans, any pronouns, and bisexual.

Ravio is same height and age as Legend, and they're both born on the same day but ravio was born at noon. This really bothers Legend, he wants his own birthday. Ravi loves it.

also ravio is gay, asian/latino, chubby and has the best smile <3

war is cis and bisexual but he leans towards women, I think he's aromantic but probably could be romantically involved with someone.

Times eyes are more gray than blue

Sky 9 times out of 10 has no clue whats going on. Stupid and confused, and its perfect.

Twilight always knows where all of them are, and I don't even know if it's just smell. He has mom instincts "where are my kids, what are they doing"

Wild got mad anger issues pls calm down babe. Kind of scary. He lets hyrule braid his hair sometimes.

Hyrules eyes are more green than blue, and he has freckles all over his face and body (jokes he ought to get a kiss for every freckle)

Whenever Wind gets mail from his little sister, he reads it to the group. He's very proud of her, and she's very proud of him. She has a bunch of big brothers now.

Four + the colors are white-asian mixed (or looks like it yk, bc he's hylian) his eyes are dark brown.

Legend goes non verbal a lot, esp when they're stressed, but when she talks, she talks. I mean, hand gestures, ranting, cussing, pointing, "and you a bitch, and you a bitch." favorite curse word is cunt.

warriors ruffle everyone's hair, and they all hate it (esp four and legend, who claims he's going to choke him with his own scarf)

Sky likes to sing and dance, and wishes more of them would dance with him.

Twilight has slept as a wolf so often that it's practically natural for him, he really prefers it. Also, he takes all of his nightwatch shifts as a wolf.

Wild will teach literally anyone about edible flora and mushrooms and such, and foraging around hyrule, if only they would listen. Sometimes talks random animals ears off about his favorite flavor combos. Sky loves to listen and ask questions.

Hyrule will hand his favorite people random stuff as "gifts" like feathers, flowers, rocks, dead bugs (he's obsessed with bugs, he loves them so so much and they're all his friends) his favorite animal is a bumblebee

i know we all agree wind swears likek a bloody sailor, bc thats what he is, but how about him using random shit for swears like, "crabs cankles," "bilge-sucking" or calling the others landlubbers. also feel like he'd be the type to say "bite me" when someone disagrees with him.

Four keeps a bunch of books in his bag, and if their reading is disturbed they all have different reactions. Blue pinches or glares, Vio ignores you unless she deems what youre saying important, red gets physically distressed, and green will actually tell you to be quiet. (blue pinches a lot actually)

Legend is a very picky eater, especially with textures, this pisses wild off (wdym you dont like it YOU HAVENT EVEN TRIED IT)

Sky's Zelda is a bisexual virgo, and she knows everything.

Malon makes very good bread. I want to shove that shit in my face ong. Also she insists on giving each of the boys big hugs when shes sees them.

[juni-ravenhall]

i rly think that ppl who feel a strong need to go "us versus them" in the sso criticism discourse need to just, take a deep breath and look within. there is so much black and white mindset always going on here, and so much bad ppl vs good ppl. its always been lacking in nuance and individuality and its frustrating.

there *are* ppl in the fandom who say really dumb shit, like fatphobic shit, sexist or racist shit, ableist shit.... but not everyone who criticises sso fairly and positively does any of that. not everyone who criticises sso annoyedly does any of that. not everyone who absolutely fucking hates sso does any of that.

there are equally ppl who genuinely are defending the most dumb shit from sse/sso just to be a defender and supporter without reason..... but not everyone who says something positive about the game does that. not everyone who loves the game does that. etc.

its not good and not okay to take out frustrations on people who dont actually do anything wrong or harmful (giving regular criticism, expressing personal opinions, giving fair praise - vs attacking staff, attacking other users for their opinion, posting harmful things, etc).

when you do that, you're blaming an innocent person for a perceived wrong from a "group" (like "haters" or "whiners" or "ppl who ruin my fun") that you have defined, that you associate "anyone who criticises things i disagree with" or whatever instead of "ppl who genuinely and provenly did something harmful". anyone who *seems* like they might be in that group annoys you, even if they arent.

consider why you think its okay to label people as invalid or unfair or unreasonable in their opinions if they have a different opinion than you but arent hurting anyone. (if you feel hurt by commercial media criticism, especially when its not even *your* product/work, there is a problem on your end that you should address.)

consider why you think its okay to say words like "ungrateful" about people who are simply voicing fair criticism or fair opinions about a videogame. i could call ppl ungrateful for not liking all my posts that i put so much work into making, but that would be really rude and ridiculous. its not kind and not nice to say things like that about ppl when they havent actually done anything wrong (criticising a videogame doesnt make someone "ungrateful", and posting harmless opinions on your own blog is not a problem).

the "us vs them" group system in sso fandom is usually along these lines: haters vs non-haters, haters vs defenders/whiteknights, or "any other critics" vs "those who see themselves as the only Good and Fair and Nice critics"... all of these are more or less the same groups just slight variation in the person's point of view. and all of them are bad, because these groups are not actually rigid and applicable in reality. people are individual and people are nuanced.

some of you guys post what i consider kinda unfair comments on sso sometimes. it could be good or bad comments, that i personally consider a bit too subjective or unfair or unrealistic or whatever. but i dont post rude, disrespectful or mean things about that on my blog, and i try to not act as if you belong to some group that youve never claimed to belong to (encouraging the "us vs them" mentality in the community).

if i *am* going to say "sso defenders" or "sso haters", i would be making sure to actually be talking to/about ppl who evidently belong to that label. ppl who defend sse even when it makes no sense, not just ppl who praise good things about the game. ppl who actually *hate* on the game, not just ppl who say something critical about it.

and you end up in those boring repetitive healthy-community-ruining social patterns when you give in to "us vs them" and to black-and-white, polarised, mindsets, when you dont actively see things as nuanced and varied and individual.

i really wish that ppl would step back and think, "this opinion / this criticism about sso made me feel annoyed/upset. why is that? what about it made me feel bad? am i taking something personally that isnt? did this person actually say anything harmful or wrong, or is it fair personal opinion? did they *actually* shove it in my face, or am i visiting a public space that is not curated only for me? am i painting this person as something they might not be in my mind? am i trying to sort them into a group, and if so, why?"

someone from the bullies will have a field day with this post and be like "omg juni is saying that ppl who disagree with him are mentally ill again!" (twisting words is helpful when you really want to make things black-and-white and "us vs them") but i do genuinely want to say that if you feel really hurt and upset by ppl having harmless disagreements or harmless criticisms about a videogame, there is a problem. it might have to do with your emotional boundaries ("criticism feels bad even when its not about me"), it might have to do with your self-worth ("you say sso is bad so you think im bad for liking it"), or various other things, and its not healthy. however, its also okay to feel unfair emotional reactions if you cant help them, but the problem is, you CAN help how you act, how you judge, and how you treat other people.

[spacelazarwolf]

Hey, I saw a post from another tumblr user that you are a Zionist and spreading false info about Jewish people being excluded from pride parades and I don't know what a Zionist is (they just said it was nationalist) but I enjoy your blog and wanted to ask you about it directly to understand better whats going on if thats okay? Im not anonymous in case you want to privately answer or tell me youd not want to discuss. 💕

first, i wanna thank you for being respectful about this, and for asking this off anon. this tells me you're asking in good faith, so i'm happy to answer.

i've had to state numerous times on my blog that i'm not a zionist bc people love to slap that label on any jew they disagree with, which is exactly what's happening in this situation. they disagreed with what i said about a lot of jews not feeling comfortable at pride because of the pervasive antisemitism in queer spaces, and several queer events banning the jewish pride flag because it "looked too similar to the israeli flag" and decided that made me a zionist. it happens a lot bc ppl know that that word is very taboo in activist spaces, and labeling you a zionist is a surefire way to get you kicked out of a lot of progressive circles. interestingly (said with a huge dollop of sarcasm) this rarely happens to gentiles.

zionist is also a pretty useless word for determining what someone actually believes, because depending on who you ask their ideologies can range from "i think that jewish people should be able to live in the land that is currently israel and palestine alongside palestinians and other indigenous groups" to "i think that only jews should get to live in that area and we should kick everyone else out." and as you can imagine, there's lots of people like me who agree with the first statement but vehemently disagree with the second. it's become somewhat of a dogwhistle, to the point that alt righters popularized "zio" as a slur, which was then picked up by leftists (because there is also a huge problem with antisemitism in leftist and non palestinian gentile-dominated antizionist spaces.) one of the events i mentioned in the first paragraph deleted a tweet using this slur.

the person you're probably talking about also claimed that i, a genderqueer trans man, am a misogynist, because i said that jewish masculinity is very culturally different from white masculinity and that i find a lot of comfort in it. they cited a bunch of problems with misogyny within the orthodox community, despite the fact i'm not orthodox or even ashkenazi. what it boiled down to is that they disagree with the takes i have on anti transmasculinity, and they needed something else to pin it on.

so in the future, if you see someone accusing a jew of being a zionist, take everything they have to say with a bucket full of salt and do as you did with this ask and go ask the person what they actually believe. sometimes you'll find their beliefs actually don't line up with your morals and you can unfollow, but the vast majority of the time you'll find that they just said something someone didn't like and it was the easiest way to discredit them.

in general, i don't share my opinions about zionism/antizionism on tumblr because that's not what my blog is centered on, and also i oppose the expectation that jews should have to disclose our opinions on zionism in order for gentiles to determine whether or not we are worth listening to. i also have a lot of thoughts abt how the focus on anti-anything makes it easier for activists to weaponize that activism against marginalized people, but that's an entirely different post.

anyway, i hope that answers your question, and i will probably pin this ask somewhere on my blog since i have been asked this a few times now and it seems unavoidable since ppl just won't drop it.

[missr3n3]

My brain needs to shut up, I'm now associating Peter with the songs: Let Her Go - The Passenger || Circles - Hollywood Undead || Better Than This - Set it Off. They fit so well with his journey ughhhhh

Sooo, let's just say hypothetically, someone were to do a crossover with CDTA + RR, would you allow it?

And finally, hit me with an obscure fact about the cast from CDTA and Rotten Roots!!

Okay, bye now (can you tell that I like sending you random thoughts and questions?)

absolutely! im rly not to picky about how ppl interact with cdta honestly lol. though it would be interesting if the timeline factored into the story, since peter would b in his late 40s and sarah in her early 50s by 2009!

i'll start with rotten roots for obscure facts, n then put cdta's cast under a read more bc it's a lot bigger lol

sarah - she's absolutely atrocious at dancing, since all she ever learned to do was line dances to only the honkiest of tonk country songs 😔

peter - the one thing he actually remembered correctly about sarah's preferences is that she did like it when he wore white. she specifically complimented him on the white suit he wore to the company mixer n that still affects his outfit choices even after the Easter Incident

officer wong - she's the only non-rich member of the peace cult/christmas rejects, and got into the organization due to her connection with law enforcement being beneficial

norman - he hasn't actually told any of the other cult members that he killed his wife/peter's mom for cheating on him, since that's not ~technically~ illegal, and thus not a valid reason for their. thing.

isabelle - she's one of those people who, despite coming from an affluent background, deeply longs to be a part of the counter culture, in her case manifesting as an infatuation with hippie aesthetics. thus her extremely long hair and floral dresses

steve - i think out of everyone in the peace cult (that showed up in the christmas special anyway), he's the most purely sadistic. everyone else can as least somewhat mental gymnastics their way into justifying their cruelty, but steve just thinks hurting ppl is a fun game.

ok cdta facts lightening round:

isaac - though he's no stranger to piercings, he doesn't have any tattoos bc he doesn't think he has the pain tolerance for it

joshua - he named the rabbit plush madeline gave him Lynnie after his mom marilyn, though you couldn't get him to admit this out loud even through torture lol

jessie - she has an orange cat named sunny

madeline - she has a tumblr account and is mutuals with delilah, though neither of them are aware of this since delilah doesn't make her status as a cael devil known online

leah - she originally made the youtube channel that would become red dragon project to make death note youtube poops

sam - he's green-red colorblind

delilah - though she has a tumblr, she's much more active on reddit (because she's constantly getting into petty arguments in the comments lol)

luce - he does have a mouth even though it's only visible sometimes, and when he does open it he has 6 rows of teeth :)

cairyx - his human form alias is caleb stone

elijah - a lot of alcohol was involved the night he got his tribal tattoo

cassandra - she gets name dropped as "editor cassie" in some of elijjah's videos, which has led to her having a little bit of a fanbase of her own

anyway hope u didn't mind another essay response lol. n thank you for the music recommendations!

[moeitsu]

Hi, i just wanna say i agree with what you were trying to say about non-biological incest. And I’m sorry people are being mean. I think sometimes they choose to be ignorant on the subject cuz i don’t think your post was insensitive or disrespectful.

I grew up in a foster home with several other kids. They weren’t biologically related to me, but i grew up with them and they will always be my siblings. That being said, i was s3xually abused by one of them. And i wholeheartedly know it was incest abuse. It took me a long time to realize that, and my therapist helped alot. But i think ppl see that word and get scared. Tbh it’s not as black and white as just being dna siblings. And it’s become weirdly normalized in media now a days. Especially in animes. I’m glad more people are talking about it even if it’s a hard subject to talk about.

And i love your fic btw, pls keep posting!

Thank you for sharing anon, I’m so sorry you had to go through that. But tbh, i think I’m going to stick to just reposting and publishing my fic from here on out. I’ve realized it’s a touchy subject in this community and i think I’ve said my peace on it. I’m not here to argue with faceless ppl on the internet.

New chapter will be up soon tho, thank you so much for reading! I seriously appreciate all of you guys <3

[starkiller-009]

Hello!! I love love love your arts. I feel like a lot of them have a sense of 'movement' which contrasts a lot of very polished artworks.

I love works with meticulously planned composition, layers, highlights, etc. I love works with a certain kind of loose yet purposeful application of value and colors. (The Two Cakes thing in the fandom). And I noticed that your arts belong to the latter category which I can rarely find!

If you don't mind me asking, do you have any artists or artworks that you're heavily inspired from? Do you draw on a pen-tablet, IPad, or other media? What application are you using? I feel like three questions are already too much for one ask so you don't need to answer them if you don't want to. I enjoy scrolling through your blog either way!

Hiiiiiiiiii dear anon!!! thank you soo much for sending this message! it made my day 🧡🧡🧡 Loose but thoughtful art is what im striving for so its really make me happy to hear that i have some success in that Answering your question i draw using some cheap old model of genius pen-tablet. Bought it 10 years ago as my first device. Still running. Heard a lot of shitty comments about quality of genius tablets at that time, but even more only about Wacom in recent years i think (fuck them. Wtf with pen's tips that are constanty erasing. For who this product is made for. Ew). as for the apps, i use clip paint studio, for studies - heavypaint (great thing). There are AMAZING artists on tumblr who inspire me heavily with their works. like. i follow ~400 ppl here. because i like to stare at art. so. im gonna talk about my favorites! @crowthis - king. queen. i dont know the pronounces sorry. they draw magnificent things i love their style SO much, its such an inspiration. sometimes i just visit their blog to go through art tag and experience all that beauty. (half of their wrks i have downloaded on my desktop) It's loose, quite 'chaotic', but SO atmospheric. The mood, composition, texture, everything. Themes. I like black and white drawings as much as the ones with colours, it so bright and blatant\bold in a way, but it works perfectly, it gives your the right sense of the work. Even tho usually i prefer more calm colours, it makes me go 'wow!' And their works looks really simple and intuitive but as an artist you know that haha no its fcking hard to do things like that. it takes skill and knowledge. loose work is tricky

@frozensoba - idk how much time i could stare at their recent fish drawings like jesus christ. i wish i could do that. i want to be able to do that. my ass is ready to work every time i see it and drawings like these really inspire me to draw simple things and non-humans bc i feel like you can draw beautifully everything that exists. you just need to know how. Colours, texture, rhytm, lines... everything on its place. I love colours especially. Its very gentle kind of harmony going on there, and the palette is huge, intricate.

@nerdyhideoutphilosopher-2 - going crazy over their works. honesty dont know what to say. go look and see. unique voice Artists id like to mention as well: @dynasoar5 - i mean. just go and look at that. i love how loose and messy kind of rendering is but it looks amazing. and overall. simply amazing drawings fuck yes @jadenvargen - just go and look at his works. i see no point in talking. simply beautiful. looks easy but also hard as fuck. the colours are so bright and rich and very bold but somehow everything is right on its place. it leads you where it should. just wow. the skill i respect @snippit-crickit - once again. beautiful. i really love their studies and how they render things, the colours. @sen-art-acc - LINE WORK. LINE WORK. go check it out. LINE WORK!!!! and i simply like how tidy and clean the drawings look like with colours. i cant do stuff like this. i have zero patience to be this accurate and precise. Also if you love loose artwork i should recommend you those artists for sure @shican, @dude-standin i love as well @wuntrum and @cordspaghetti works a lot. I followed both of them because mcr fanart i guess? tho never was into mcr and stayed for the drawings alone Also, if we're speaking about more "pro" (dont like this term either, forgive me) kind of artists i have some huge inspirations as well (tho my art not in any way reminds of them im afraid lmao. but i hope maybe in ten or ok 30 years or more ill be somewhere). There are a ton of artists i like, but its for another post i guess. To much talk. So here we go Sergio Toppi - he's an amazing at working with lines and composition. I have his comic books on my bookshelf. I open it everytime i want to get energy to draw. You cant look at his drawings and NOT to get inspired. He's incredible. The rhytm, the shapes... damn. i can look at his drawings for hours. And he was the main inspiration to work with lines and composition more, to play with it more. I dont have a lot of line-work on this acc (last quiobi drawing, some year\two-old dghda drawings, eugene one) but i actually exercise it a lot. Lines are extremely powerful tool. And as for composition... The shapes, negative spaces, love it. And he's extremely good at working with colour too.

Francis Vallejo - he's illustrations are so good... he's incredible with composition and rhytm his drawings have. Negative spaces, one again.

Anders Zorn - i adore his black and white graphic drawings. Angles, framing, line work. Spent a lot of time looking at his works. Cant get enough of it. The way he draws people, the plot, themes. What he chooses to portray, the way people look, what they do. There is such a special mood to his drawings, there is something extremely psychological about it, isn't there? he's a master im mesmerized by

Bernie Fuchs - composition, rhytm, once again. I love it when you want to look at something for more then 2 seconds, because the rhytm of the drawings leads you into different places and opens its plot in parts. No matter where you look u'll find something interesting and even though there is lot of going on its still not a mess and looks and feels fucking awesome. And i love his colour palettes too. He's very good at setting the mood (check out his less commercial works)

As for the colour here's a few i love. (Though they're still extremely good with everything else)

Hovsep Pushman - the man is a mystery. His work with colours, light and texture is beyond me. Also it has disco elysium vibe to it. I dream of being capable of something like this when im sixty or so (im not gonna be)

Mead Schaeffer - simple but powerful. Looking at his works like eating a tasty ice cream.

same goes to Dean Cornwell - though its a bit more complex, his composing. You need to pay more attention

I'd like to mention one other artist - Jamie Wyeth. his works are something else entirely, i dream of drawing like this one day. Loosiness, themes, mood. Ill probably cry if i see those ones in real life one day, somehow special to my heart, relates

He has these series - "Seven deadly sins". Ive been in love for some time

As for the inspiration drawings on itself - thinking about it im coming back to dragon age tarot cards. Not all of them, but i still go 'jesus i want to draw like this' at some, through years. This one especially.

Soooo Thats it i guess! I mean. I love to talk and talk about art especially. I probably could write ten more posts like this no problem. I actually heavily into landscape painters since... Well. Nature. Ice, oceans, sky. I sadly havent really tried to get into the genre myself, i do not draw lots of backgrounds as you can see. Should work on this probably, life's short. But im always happy to share my fav artists! So hit me up whenever. dm or send an ask! And a beautiful work for the ending

[tumblasha]

on being a woman [1] in praia, cabo verde

(small warning: men being gross but nothing too too bad, dw)

i just think it's a little sad that my whole time i've lived in boston i have the urge to live in a society where people are kind, where people help each other when they can, and where people say "hello" and "goodnight" to each other. then i land in this lovely city and a handful of people kinda make me wanna stop participating in society

(a) the concert cab driver

i went to go see neyna w some friends! however bc of some logistical things i had to go alone via taxi. in this 15 min taxi at 1am [2], the driver asks me about where i'm from, i answer, and i talk the way i do to all cab drivers. while i was building up the courage to ask him for his number [3], he offered his number. i thanked him!

he asked me if i like to drink, if i like to smoke, and we laughed about how good the nightlife / beachlife is in praia. in the ten seconds before stopping the car outside the venue, he asks me if i want to go smoke with him after the concert. i nervously laugh no i'll be tired with my friends, pay him, and open the car door. i saw him stretch out his arms. i agreed to the hug (ppl are touchy, i wasn't really surprised at the gesture)

and then he kissed my cheek. not in the latam, descendant-of-the-iberian-peninsula, be-polite-to-your-aunt way. he let out a laugh and said "see you later"

my friends and i leave the concert a few hours later. thankfully a taxi that just dropped off some ppl (going to the venue as a 4am night club lol) picked us up! for whatever reason i sorta hide my phone when i'm in public / crowded places, so when i go into my apartment, i notice i have missed calls. i have unread messages. his name pops up on my screen and i tell him i got home safely, that my friends called a taxi before i could tell them about him

after a sunday morning text, i decided to mute his notifications, and forgot about it

(b) dinner tonight

some of the students are celebrating that it's someone's last night in praia (he and his boyfriend are island-hopping before they head back home). and stories pop up.

my nonbinary friend (that self-describes as being man-presenting and does the gender-binary-at-travel thing too) talked about a taxi driver asking them to sleep with him after the ride.

the white woman phd student talked about getting a cab driver's number, ghosting him, and accidentally getting into his cab a few weeks later (she didn't recognize him). how he was quiet until she realized it was him, how he asked why she didn't respond Halfway through this 10 min ride, and how she had to pretend not to understand him (when she perfectly knows kriolu, port, and eng).

(c) the walks to the beach

the beaver school cohort (all women-presenting) sharing stories about the ways that men approach us and ask for our numbers one day and walk down the street holding their girlfriend's hand the next day. how walking from the beach to our apartment at night became a "no-no" not because of common sense but because of common lived experience.

(d) a conclusion

this is prob common everywhere that has a more "friendly" society [4], but i feel like it's shocking me bc for the past four years i've been used to strangers not caring about each other (disease scares, less catcalling, less help when i drop something on the floor, etc), so idk how to be.

soz for the non-conclusive conclusion, but i wanted to share in case ppl have any tips on how to live as smn who's not a cishet man. tyty

(also pls go to cv! sometimes if ur a tourist ppl give u free things <33)

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[1] much like oomf's vegetarianism, i'm nonbinary ("veg") in the usa and still nonbinary outside internationally but act as a woman ("meat-eater") there. i think it's easier not to correct ppl when in other countries bc language barriers, cultural barriers, and rare (perceived) availability of trans neutrality / acceptance (the "vegan food" of this simile) ... in which i turn invisibility into a privilege (joke) ??

[2] the concert starts at 2am lol

[3] the venue was far-ish from the main part of the city. it's common, even advised, to get a driver's number to make sure that u Have a way back home

[4] how i learned NOT to wear my high school uniform to the local mall once i turned 15