#sometimes we want to kill each other but my mum is good egg | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

inkmemes · 3 years

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this country ( 2017 - 2020 ) sentence starters ↪ taken from the bbc mockumentary. trigger warning for mentions of religion, death, sex. alter as you see fit ♡

“i like the underdog.”

“don't be a fucking dick.”

“everyone comes together on days like today and just forgets their utter hatred of each other.”

“everyone who's anyone's going to be there and there are people from my past that would love to see me slain.”

“there's a tea rooms there and under the counter they've got a panic button and if i take one step inside, they can press that. the police will be there in three minutes.”

"he whatsapped me the other day asking us to go laser quest with him and i ... well, i clicked on it by accident, didn't i? so he knows i've seen it."

"i mean, i get it, but it's not making me feel nothing."

“it's baffling. i'm baffled by the entire situation, if i'm honest.”

“what the actual fuck? what the actual fuck? you have fucking lost your head, mate. you have lost your fucking head.”

“when i get hold of you, i swear to god i will fucking deck you.”

"someone's just been throwing plums at my house. i'm going to kill them. i can't believe it. i can't believe it. all over this. plumming on here, plumming on that. plum on the sofa, look! there's nothing left that hasn't been plummed."

“i've had a target on my back since the day i was born.”

“thank you very much, enjoy your free potatoes.”

“do you know how small your brain is?”

“hogwarts is that way, dumbledore.”

“he used to say i looked like the puppet off the dolmio advert.”

“there's a kid crying over there. do you want me to...? i can tell him to shut the fuck up if you want?”

“he genuinely looked like a moomin.”

“on my first day of karate club, karate master goes to me, [name], i don't know why you're here because i can't teach you anything. if anything, you should be teaching me." and just gave me his black belt.”

“you know that little old blind man? yeah, when i was punching him in his face, the lens from his glasses broke and cut my knuckle.”

“some things are just best left in the past, where they belong.”

“what's the point in knocking if you're just going to walk in anyway?”

“it was a miscarriage of justice though, cos what people forget is 12 out of them 20 hostages actually found it funny.”

“i lied so much i still don't know what's real life and what's plain lies.”

“i'm so glad you're out of that lying phase.”

“he likes to be the only person on the road, so whenever he sees a car coming the other way he just pulls over.”

“nasa went through hundreds of them in the '60s. and now every time i see a really bright star in the sky i can't wish on it, cos in my head i'm thinking, ‘that's probably just a spacecraft with some monkey bones in it.’”

“you absolute traitor. that's my cheese - it's my fucking house!”

“don't you dare eat that cheese. you eat that and i will smash this. i promise you, i will smash you with this.”

“fuck! you switched them!”

“yeah, i can see it's fucking burnt, sherlock.”

“i honestly am ashamed to know him, sometimes.”

“if you knock on someone's door, don't take no for an answer. get into their house. if they say, ‘leave my house’, stay. and if they say, ‘i'm going to call the police’, you walk upstairs and see if there's anybody else upstairs to sell to.”

“she looks like uncle fester.”

“right. i'm going to piss in their flowers, then.”

“you really need to go home. your mum's called the police and everything.”

“you're also fired from being my best mate, by the way.”

“in business, there will always be setbacks. i don't drink my own juice, fray bentos doesn't eat his own pies. but that's business.”

“do you know what, i don't actually want to play this any more, because it is actually very, very boring.”

“i'm ashamed of myself, that's not usually me, so don't get the wrong impression.”

“i genuinely think one of them fancies me as well.”

“it's fate her moving across the street.”

“the problem with finding a girlfriend in the village is that most of the girls you meet round here are old-age pensioners.”

“yeah, i am looking for a relationship, but thing is i've just got so many trust issues, yeah, with being fucked over massive in the past, so no matter how much i get close to someone now i'm thinking in the back of my head, ‘shit, am i going to get fucked over?’ because i've been fucked over in the past massively. my last relationship proper fucked me up.”

“i went through a really dark phase. listening to papa roach and just blowing everything up with them little french bangers.”

“shut up, you don't know what you're talking about!”

“i don't like the man. i know he's my uncle, but i don't like him.”

“it's just malicious lies, that's all it is.”

“i'm not saying i've got a cruel heart, but if she ain't willing to take me as i am rather than the monster i've become, then she can literally just jog on back to sea with all the other fish cos i don't care.”

“what do you look for in a boyfriend?”

“the key to dating, yeah, is the two rs and the three ts. 'respect, rapport, and talking, talking, talking.' don't ever let that ball hit the ground. good relationships are built on great conversation.”

“on a date, you've got to tell them all the interesting stuff about you, because that's what they'll be interested in.”

“he said to me, he goes, ‘you can't smoke on here.’ i said, ‘i'm not smoking, i'm vaping.’ the look on his face when i said that. i don't think he knew what vaping… what a vape is.”

“you would make me the happiest mouse if you say yes and become my spouse.”

“here's a tip, [name], next time you take a chick out on a date, don't bore her to tears.”

“roses are red, violets are blue, i've got five fingers, the third one's for you.”

“get out of my way, pipe cleaner.”

“[name] phoned me the other day at three in the morning saying, ‘come quick,

there's a hedgehog in the garden that looks exactly like grandad.’ so i got up, i got dressed and i ran over to [name]'s as fast as i could and then i just stopped in the middle of the street at three in the morning and thought, ‘what the fuck am i doing with my life?’

“you're joking me? because if you are joking me, that is massively harsh.”

“oh, let me get a song up on youtube. you're going to absolutely love this, [name]. here we go… listen to this. oh, for fuck's sake, advert.”

“let's go down the pub and get shitfaced.”

“where do i see myself in five years? well, me and [name] will have a flat in the middle of the village and all of our furniture will be inflatable and we'll have cable and it will pay for itself, because we're going to use the spare room to breed quails, because their eggs are worth fucking shitloads.”

“is this about the calippo, still? because you offered to buy me that.”

“if he wants to go, good luck to him, i say. i reckon he thinks that i can't live without him, which is a laugh, because he went a whole weekend away once and i got on all right. i just ended up following this cat around the village.”

“i've got to do what's right for me, at the end of the day, instead of worrying about other people.”

“how about you say sorry? sorry for the massive knife that's hanging out the back of my back because of you.”

“oh, and while you're stabbing me in the back, feel free to bend down and kiss my arse.”

“can i just ask you an honest question? why would you want to leave the village when we've got a pub and a shop?”

“i think you don't know how lucky we have it to be doing nothing with our lives, like. we're all going to die, anyway, so what's the point in doing anything?”

“i want ownership of the words fucknut and dickmilk.”

“i had this come through the post. and i've got a few concerns about it. firstly, this guy on the front looks really arrogant. not the sort of guy i was expecting, if i'm honest.”

“this is starting to stress me out a little bit.”

“why are you trying to stress me out? you know i'm already stressed out as it is.”

“the bloke that used to live in there, right, kept hearing strange noises coming out of his attic at night. and he'd go to the fridge and find that food was missing from the fridge. so he thought, ‘i'm just going to go up to the attic and check this out.’ and he found an entire family of peruvian panpipe buskers just living up there. and he thought ‘i'm just going to leave them to it, ‘cos they're not really doing me any harm.’ and then, a few years later, he thought, "well, i'll just go up to the attic to check on them. ‘see if they're all right.’ and it turned out they'd all died of asbestos poisoning. yeah, he doesn't live here any more.”

“some people will always be scared of me, and i can't change that, no matter how nice i am. but there's a balance to be had between being nice and being feared.”

“don't really like catching up. it's not my thing.”

“i just watched this video of this girl doing a random act of kindness on youtube. she basically paid for this old man's shopping at the till. and this old man was, like, about 90 years old. and he's so fucking old, like, you could see through his skin. and he just starts bawling his eyes out. he's like, ‘you're fucking joking me, this ain't fucking real life.’ i just thought... i want to make someone feel like that. ‘cos that's... i really… that's what i want to do.”

“i'm not dead. just can't be arsed to text her sometimes.”

“you know, correct me if i'm wrong, but four texts a day is complete madness. no-one can keep up with that.”

“i am doing kind things selfishly.”

“i was at midnight mass one year, right, someone got tipped off i was there. as i was coming out the church, someone tries to shoot me with a crossbow.”

“well, i haven't seen the film, have i? that's why i came here - to watch the fucking film - like a normal human being.”

“i've made an effort by coming here tonight. i didn't want to come.”

“i had to wheel him here from his house in an asda trolley, cos he was just too heartbroken to move.”

“sometimes you don't know what you got until you ain't got it any more. like blockbuster's. i just took 'em for granted - and then, one day, gone, and you spend ages trying to figure out what went wrong, and then you realise it was your fault all along.”

“i thought you said you wanted to fix things.”

“she wanted it to go that way, and it just wasn't gonna go that way. she even got me thinking that they'd get back together… ..but that's manipula.... manipulative people... do that. and he's better off without her.”

“that wasn't much to write home about.”

“it's fucking dead, isn't it?”

“basically, somebody's been sending me threatening letters, and i don't know who's doing it - and i am concerned, because my peripheral vision is poor, so, if somebody attacks me from the sides or snipes at me from an upstairs window, i am fucked - but my hearing is excellent, see? so i just need to spend a few days inside honing my sonar, and i'll be fine then.”

“if you don't like the work, the circus is in town and they're always looking for clowns.”

“his soul is just going to crumble to dust.”

“this really is not a good situation for me. a physical threat is something that i can deal with, but a sexual thing is not my area of expertise.”

“just really fucked in the head, mate.”

“what have i done? i haven't done anything wrong.”

“do you know how sad that is? that is so, actually, sad. that makes me sad for you, that you can't take a joke.”

“i think i just got a bit carried away with the whole thing.”

“your finger's going up my arsehole, mate.”

“i'll hold the back of your head, so you don't bash yourself.”

“when i lie in future, i don't want a massive lecture on how bad lying is, cos deep down, you're the worst of us all, mate.”

“i'd quite like a coke.”

“it's going to be like gluing a breadstick back together, because… like, as if a breadstick's been in a blender and it's all… ...the pieces smashed up.”

“like, this one time i started a fight club in the village hall, and i got a black eye from beating myself up. but it made my enemies think, ‘fuck, if she can do that to herself, what the fuck can she do to me?’”

“i'm absolutely 1,000% sure i've broken it in two places.”

“i knew this day would come.”

“i should be in tk maxx, getting the bargains that i deserve.”

“unlike you, [name], i'm not a fashion disaster.”

“i'm still warm in my grave, and she's sucking off the pallbearer.”

“you know, it took me ten years to get over [name], and i only went out with her for half a day.”

“i swear to god, if i see him here again, i swear to god, i will have no hesitation in just going up to him and just planting one on his face.”

“right, then keep your nose out of my business, yeah? nosy old cock-womble.”

“[name]’s attitude to me is puzzling. if i walk past her in the street

and say hi, she'll tell me to fuck off. yet every year, she sends me a really sweet, nice christmas card. you know, there's just no consistency there.”

“he's good-looking up close, isn't he?”

“don't show me any weakness, because i will take advantage.”

“no, put the brick down, you fucking psychopath.”

“when i asked him, he just said, ‘come to my office now,’ which means we're in the fucking shit, cos we're always in fucking shit.”

“i shouldn't be paying you at all.”

“i've always had a son. i talk about him all the time.”

“he's my son. he's not my dog.”

“it reminds me of the wicker man. i don't really know why.”

“i just find it weird how you can be so close to someone and they can be such a big part of your life, and then the next minute, you're just sort of strangers in the night.”

“i don't want the emotional implications.”

“well, about five years ago, i sold my birthday to my mum for about 200 quid, which means my mum's legally entitled now to never celebrate my birthday ever again for the rest of my life. not even, like, a happy birthday cup of tea, or a moonpig card, nothing - which is the worst decision i ever made in my entire life.”

“he deserves that anyway, because he's been sexting my nan, so…”

“what's this surprise? cos i need to know whether it's going to be worth this walk.”

“i always see them banners above the motorway, and i always thought, ‘who the fuck does them?’ well, now i know. people like me.”

“did you know you can't get stung by a stinging nettle if you grab the leaf top and bottom, like that? it's only when you touch it on the sides, it stings. agh, actually, that stung, then.”

“pez dispenser, they're cursed. they are, i'm not even joking. honestly, when i had one of them, i had the worst bout of bad luck i ever had in my life.”

“i swear down, it's a short cut. it might be a pleasant walk, we might enjoy it.”

“i'm not scared of the fox twins. i'd just like to sit them down and ask 'em plainly, ‘look, guys, what is going on? ‘cos this has just gotten completely out of hand now. you know, stop walking on your knuckles, stand up straight, be the best version of you that you can be. get a job, even. there's a trolley boy who works at tesco's, you know, who may as well have been raised by wolves. if he can get a job, you guys can walk it.’”

“yes, there has been talk of strange goings-on in the woods, ghost sightings and the like. but… ...they're never from particularly reliable sources.”

“i live with a ghost. there's a ghost in that house. he's like a civil war cavalier, with all the hair and the hat and all that. and every time i walk into the living room, he doffs his cap. and on his shoulder, he's got this crow that barks at me. it means i spend less time in the house, really. not because of him, because he's-he's quite peaceable. but the crow is malevolent. and i'm not having that. i can't share my house with a malevolent bird.”

“that's haunted as fuck.”

“am i going mad here, or does that, to you, look like that's where just ghost will hang out all the time?”

“look at him, little red riding twat.”

“if he's got an attitude with me, i swear to god, i'll just grab the steering wheel and drive us all into a wall.”

“it's a bit annoying, actually. cos this is not the first or the second time i've had to tell you, really, is it?”

“his sparkle has just gone.”

“you know my dad actually wrote the song wonderwall on the back of a beer mat in the space of ten minutes, don't you?”

“i've just got a tiny, tiny, tiny little favour to ask you.”

“when i think of [name], i think of someone who is very loyal. and very, very stupid. sort of more stupid than loyal. sort of 70% stupid, 30% loyal, probably. because she's very loyal. but extremely stupid.”

“do you know what? i actually don't think he loves you at all and i don't think he's ever loved you.”

“all right, that's harsh and unnecessary, but fine.”

“frankly, she is behaving like the antichrist.”

“i literally just got here.”

“you are such an unemotional slab of ham, [name].”

“i've got so much shit on that man you would not believe.”

“there's something in my eye.”

“i just can't quit him, you know?”

“yeah, we might have a fiery relationship, but when we're together, it's just… it's just pure chemistry, isn't it?”

“i'm not proud of it, believe me. but at the end of the day, i'm a very vindictive person, you know? it is what makes me me.”

“i basically went out and bought an alpaca off gumtree for £500. of all the mistakes i've made in my life, that was possibly the largest. definitely the physically largest.”

“yeah, i really don't wanna talk about that.”

“her only loyalty is to herself, staffies, and the tv channel dave… ...which, in my opinion, is a tv channel made by knuckle-draggers for knuckle-draggers.”

“i can't move on till i've seeked revenge, unfortunately.”

“if that was in france, that would be fine, but we're not in france.”

“the only thing we had in common, really, was stealing, and that was more my thing that i got him onto. but it just goes to show, you know, some friendships last and some friendships don't, but that's just the way it is.”

“you know it was me that got you sacked, don't you?”

“the thing i learnt about friendship is, you gotta accept each other's flaws, no matter how toxic they may be.”

“shit-stirring from beyond the grave.”

#rp meme #rp prompt #rp starters #rp sentence meme #rp sentence starters #this is the nichest meme ive made #but this show is so fucking funny okay

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leelysian · 4 years

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Changbin as your older brother AU 💖✨

genre: fluff, bullet point fic

word count: 2.3k

warnings: swearing

Disclaimer: I do not personally know Changbin. This work is purely fiction and my own idea. I took inspiration from his on screen persona. Please do not translate or re-upload my work.

A/N: hi :) Sorry if this is kinda bad. I’m running out of ideas for this series(?). It’s really hard to write these aus for the members when there’s limited knowledge about them and when you’re trying to make everything seem different without making it seem like they’re all one dimensional and cut from the same cloth. Thank you to everyone who has been reading these older brother aus and thank you for being patient. Please leave some feedback, it really keeps me going. ❤️

☆ Let’s start with you as babies.

☆ Changbin would for sure as kiddy questions like “How did the baby get inside mummy’s tummy?” “When will baby come out?” “How does baby poop?”

☆ Your parents either answered him vaguely or somehow dodged his questions.

☆ Would sleep in your parents bedroom close to your mum to protect her baby bump.

☆ Would be hella excited to feel you kick in your mum’s tummy.

☆ Would say cute things to the baby bump. “Come out quickly baby I can’t wait to play with you.” “We can play with *insert favourite toy* together.” “We’re going to have a lot of fun together.” I am close to tears

☆ Doesn’t care about the gender.

☆ When you were born, he was extremely excited to see you but little Binnie patiently waited till your parents had their moment first until they ushered him to the hospital bed.

☆ He was wide eyed as he held you as if scared to hurt you. He smiled when he stroked your cheek with a finger and smiled wider when you grabbed onto his finger.

☆ CUDDLES, CUDDLES AAAAAAAND MORE CUDDLES

☆ Tried to help your parents take care of you but most of the time failed.

☆ *tries to put pants on you* *gets kicked in the face instead*

☆ The only thing he could properly do was cuddle you as he fed you a bottle and somehow you ate properly if he was the one feeding you when you were being fussy.

☆ *you two fall asleep while he’s holding you*

☆ Adoring/curious stares.

☆ Fed you a bit of lemon for jokes when you were starting to grow teeth and had the time of his fricking life when he saw your reaction.

☆ I’m talking the kind of laughs he does with his whole body.

☆ Helped you learn how to walk patiently. Just laughed when you fell on your butt.

☆ Taught you how to high 5 at a very young age.

☆ You talked to him a lot. Not like he understood what you said because it was mostly babbling but it was fun for both of you.

☆ You broke a lot of his toys. He’d get upset until he got new ones.

☆ The one toy he never shared with you was Gyu, his plushie.

☆ Fast forward you’re older and know how to walk and talk coherently, Changbin is a kid.

☆ Changbin wants cookies but they’re on the top shelf and your mum purposefully put them there so neither of you could reach.

☆ “Changbin what are you doing?”

☆ Changbin: 👀

☆”I’m gonna tell mum~”

☆ “NO DON’T. If you help me, I’ll give you a cookie then you have to promise me you won’t tell mum.”

☆ Your smart ass contemplated for a few seconds before you agreed, “Ok what do we do?”

☆ “If I lift you up can you grab the jar? Don’t drop it.”

☆ “Yes.”

☆ Somehow both of you managed to retrieve the jar unscathed. Why none of you thought to grab a chair and do it, I don’t know.

☆ One cookie turned to two then three until the jar was half empty and your dad caught you.

☆ Everyone except you two with crumbs around your mouths in the room:️

👁️👄👁️

☆ Your dad walked in with brooding eyes. He grabbed a cookie and started eating quietly, “It’s a secret.”

☆ All three of you smiled happily and continued munching on the cookies.

☆ Until a while later your mum walked in and gasped, “YOU ATE ALL THE COOKIES?! *insert dad’s name* YOU WERE IN ON THIS TOO!”

☆ The three of you gulped nervously until you said, “No mum look! We saved a few for you!” The three of you smile innocently.

☆ Your mum sighed and smiled exasperatedly. “This is the last time.” A chorus of agreement sang throughout the room yet nobody meant a single word.

☆ Most of the time you two were hyperactive and played around so much you’d be knocked out cold by the time it was around 9 pm.

☆ Your parents had to lug you to your shared room.

☆ You two played tag a lot, he was really fast so you’d always get tagged very quickly.

☆ HIDE AND SEEK

☆ Running. So much running. You’re the hyper kids.

☆ Rock paper scissors. Winner flicks the loser’s forehead. Changbin always took the penalty but never really doled it out on you, if he did it wasn’t too hard.

☆ Races. “LAST ONE IS A ROTTEN EGG!”

☆ Changbin could easily win, but sometimes he slowed down purposefully to let you win for a change.

☆ Giggles. Giggles everywhere. Giggles all the time.

☆ Pillow forts in your room.

☆ Tickle fights.

☆ Cuddling together while watching cartoons.

☆ You thought he was cool.

☆ He liked you thinking so highly of him.

☆ Made him want to be even cooler for you.

☆ He’d ruffle your hair playfully.

☆ He’d pinch your nose. “AAAAHHH”

☆ He’d pull your hair.

☆ PIGGY BACK RIDES!!!!!!!!!

☆ Such a joker. It was harmless fun.

☆ Once you doodled on his school notes. He got mad and stopped talking to you.

☆ He rarely got angry at you, sure you two bickered sometimes and sometimes got whiny at each other.

☆ You apologised with a treat you got, instead of eating it by yourself, you gave it to him as a peace offering.

☆ He didn’t eat it himself, he shared. “It’s okay just don’t do it again. These are important. You’ll know when you get older.”

☆ “Ok. I’m sorry.”

☆ Things became alright again.

☆ Fast forward you’re tweens/teens/young adults.

☆ The dynamic is wild.

☆ You two would always goof around like idiots.

☆ Changbin annoyed you a lot.

☆ “Y/N look over there!” you’re stuck in visible confusion. *smacks your head and runs*

☆ “CHANGBIN!”

☆ You’re eating chips. “Y/n what’s that?” “What’s what?” *steals bag*

☆ “When are you gonna stop tricking me?”

☆ “When are you gonna stop falling for that?”

☆ You get pissed.

☆ Then it escalates into a wrestling match until ultimately you get hurt and start nearly crying in pain.

☆ “FUCK! SHIT SHIT SHIT I’M SORRY I’M SORRY I’M SORRY HERE YOU CAN HIT ME BACK. PLEASE DON’T TELL MUM! PLEASE STOP CRYING!”

☆ You’re watching tv peacefully. Changbin walks in with a nerf gun/water gun. “REACH FOR THE SKY!”

☆ The living room turns into a warzone or a set for mission impossible.

☆ You ‘borrow’ his clothes. “Y/N STOP STEALING MY SHIT!”

☆ He ‘borrows’ your charger. “GET YOUR OWN CHARGER CHANGBIN!”

☆ He casually strolls into the living room, sits next to you with feet propped up on the table, snatches the remote when you’re not looking and changes the channel.

☆ “HEY I WAS WATCHING THAT!”

☆ “Well too bad. I don’t wanna watch it.”

☆ “GIMME THE REMOTE!” “No :}”

☆ Another wrestling match for the remote.

☆ You hide his glasses. Basically keep them with you.

☆ “Hey y/n have you seen my glasses?” “Nope.”

☆ He looks EVERYWHERE.

☆ You keep them on top of the tv when he’s away. “Hey Changbin found it on the tv.”

☆ “That’s weird I don’t remember putting them there. The heck?”

☆ “Maybe you’re just losing your mind. Already becoming an oldie?”

☆ “I may be old but I can still kick your ass.”

☆ You’re the younger sibling that either grows up to the same height as him quicker or grows taller than him somehow.

☆ He hates it. You thrive on it. “Hehe shortie. Can you even reach?”

☆ So he started working out to tone up.

☆ You’re barely able to lift a heavy box. He picks it up with ease. “Do you even lift?”

☆ He’s washing the dishes. You leave your dish for him and sneak out. “Y/N! I SWEAR-”

☆ You have a lit music taste because of him.

☆ You’re sleeping, he’s up early. You need to go to school. Instead of waking you up like a normal person, he pulls the blankets completely off of you and tackles you. “Y/N WAKE UP!”

☆ “CHANGBIN YOU CRAZY BASTARD! DO YOU WANNA DIE?!”

☆ You two are eating. He’ll finish eating seemingly at the speed of light and stare at you eating. “I’m not sharing.”

☆ “I didn’t say anything.”

☆ awkward silence

☆ You pass your food to him. “You owe me, pabbit (pig + rabbit)”

☆ Both of you forget about it later on.

☆ He’s hella clumsy.

☆ He’d definitely break a glass or plate or vase.

☆ He’s the type to fix something just enough to make it seem not broken so the next person who uses it would think they broke it.

☆ Anything to not get his ass handed to him by mummy dearest.

☆ You do this thing to annoy him which is basically mock/copy him when he tells you something.

☆ “Hey you know-” “Hey you know-” “you know that-” “you know that-” this continues a few more times until he screams and tackles you.

☆ You did this thing where you literally jumped on his back when he was unaware and you'd stick to him. The scream was worth bursting your eardrums. Worked every time.

☆ He was built he could carry you.

☆ Another thing is copying his actions.

☆ He yawns, you yawn. He scratches his nose, you copy. He stretches, you stretch. He shifts, you copy.

☆ “STOP COPYING ME!” “Stop copying me” “I said STOP COPYING ME!” “I said stop copying me!”

☆ “I hate you.” “I love you too bro.”

☆ His friends like you and a lot of times you hang out with him and his friends.

☆ He wears the weirdest stuff just for shits and giggles.

☆ “Hey y/n.” “What?” you look at him and burst out laughing.

☆ Where he got a shark head mask, you had no idea. You had tears running down your face as he started to sing and sexy dance to baby shark.

☆ “STOP I’M GONNA PEE!”

☆ You two say the darndest things.

☆ “I just realised- if vampires can’t go out in the sunlight then wouldn’t the moonlight kill them too?

☆ “How?”

☆ “Moonlight is just the sunlight shining from behind the moon dumbass.”

☆ “Oh shit you’re right.”

☆ Another example of this would be:

☆ “The hospital is the only place you leave without entering.”

☆ Both of you: 👁️👄👁️

☆ You’re eating watermelon. You bite some of the white bit.

☆ “I just realised the worst part of the watermelon tastes like a cucumber.”

☆ awkward silence “wait you’re right.”

☆ “Anyways, here you can wash the plates.”

☆ “Y/N!”

☆ AEGYO FLUFFY GOODNESS

☆ Will use everything in his cuteness arsenal to get what he wants.

☆ You hate to admit it actually works sometimes.

☆ “Y/n~ pleeeaaaseee get me some cookies.”

☆ “No.”

☆ He keeps whining and rocking or shaking you. “PLEEEEAAAAAASEEE”

☆ “FINE!”

☆ Who’s really the older sibling and who’s really the younger sibling?

☆ “You know you could’ve just gotten them yourself with the time it took you to annoy me into getting them for you?”

☆ He just smiles toothily.

☆ “If you could choose between a giant me or 5 mini me’s which would you choose?”

☆ “Neither I’d rather die.”

☆ “Y/N! WHYYYYY” he whines and shakes you.

☆ He’s always there for you when you need him the most. He’ll always comfort you with tight hugs.

☆ He’s the type of person to make silly jokes and make you smile or laugh to make you feel better instead of sort of brooding with you.

☆ This is only acceptable with him, if anyone else tried to be goofy when you were upset it wouldn’t work.

☆ Because it’s Changbin’s thing. Only he has that power.

☆ You rarely see him upset. He’s always smiling, joking around and acting cute.

☆ One time, really late at night you saw him in the kitchen sitting with a glass of milk. He hadn’t noticed you.

☆ This was off putting because you rarely saw him this quiet. He’s always laughing and loud.

☆ He was staring off in the distance, the glass gathering condensation from being out of the fridge and into warm temperature.

☆ “Can’t sleep?” He was startled and shook his head no. “What’s on your mind?”

☆ “It’s nothing.” You sat with a glass of water. “You know you can tell me, right?”

☆ “I know I just don’t wanna bother you.” he said and this confused you. “Why would you be bothering me? That’s absurd.”

☆ He shrugged, “I dunno, seems like all I do is annoy people these days.”

☆ You pat his back. “Hey, that’s not true. Well it only applies to me because you’re my sibling. That’s a thing. Is there anything specific you’re talking about?”

☆ He stays quiet for what seems like the longest time until he unloads.

☆ You’re not good with words like he is. You try your best to listen and give sensible input.

☆ Changbin admired that about you. Despite being younger, you were sometimes mature and understanding. You were authentic, you never tried to be something you weren’t.

☆ Which is why he always valued your words.

☆ Afterwards if he had anything on his mind, sometimes he’d vent to you.

☆ You the ability to make his insecurities disappear simply because he feels stupid for the way he thinks when he talks to you.

☆ You make his problems miniscule, not in a belittling way but in a way that makes him realise how things could be different or done differently.

☆ Your sense of perception was something amazing.

☆ This is why Changbin believed you were the best sibling he could ask for.

☆ But little did he know, you wouldn’t be able to function properly if he wasn’t the goofy, silly, clumsy, idiotic Changbin who exists today.

☆ He’s just the right type of flavour you need in your bland life.

☆ don’t be shy put some more.

☆ He’s the right balance of a clown, a baby and a guardian angel.

☆ He’s extremely caring, loyal, kind hearted and annoying.

☆ You’d change absolutely nothing.

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reversecreek · 3 years

Text

ziggy strutting up to me like this gif as i hold up a crucifix n say begone begone vile beast BEGONE from my vicinity i will NOT buy u a happy meal wretched little boy...... some live action rp to start this off..... and SCENE. takes my bow. his pinterest is here n his playlist is here.

* dylan minnette, cis male + he/him | you know ziggy benson, right? they’re twenty-four, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, all of his life? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to hand crushed by a mallet by 100 gecs like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole glitching televisions impaled by remotes, nonchalantly texting the babes as a stove fire ravages your kitchen & cartoons turned up so loud it fries your eardrums thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is november 24th, so they’re a sagittarius, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( nai, 24, gmt she/her )

HISTORY;

from the second ziggy ws born he didnt stop screaming. within the first hours of his life he gave his father an ear splitting headache tht prompted him to say “that uncooked chicken’s fucking demonic” n joke abt popping “it” in the oven to roast. when this understandably received disgusted glances frm the nursing staff he ws all like “jeez alright alright i’m kiddin i’m kiddin can’t a guy have a joke around here?” n i feel like that sets up their dynamic so nice n sweetly <3 (sarcasm) (lips pursed)

frm day one he ws just honestly a rly hyperactive child. when he laughed he’d shriek it out at the absolute top of his lungs bc he’d just get this huge giddy surge of energy all the way to the very tips of his toes n it’d hit him like a shock from a fork in a plug socket. their parenting style ws rly just lazy tbh.... they didn’t have much time for disciplining him. ziggy’s mum wld halfheartedly be like “ziggy quiet now....” n then go bk to nuking whatever vegetables she’d defrosted until they tasted like dinosaur bones..... this wld not make any difference in ziggy’s behaviour

his father rly just took the stance that it ws ziggy’s mum’s job to discipline him or raise him in general which is. 🔪 please enter the 20th century sir.... get ur noggin sorted..... needless to say he wsn’t much involved in ziggy’s life n honestly generally jst didn’t like him. ziggy was a responsibility he didn’t want (accidental prregnancy) n in his literal words once said (blatantly while ziggy ws watching cartoons on the sofa) tht ziggy just “harshes my fucking vibe a lil bit”.

he wound up leaving when ziggy was six ish.... ziggy watched thru a crack in the blinds as his mum tried to grab at his jacket to make him stay as he lugged out his suitcase..... she even tried to physically cling onto him so he cldn’t get in his ride bt the door wound up slamming n she sat on her knees watching the lights pull out the drive n even long after they were gone. ziggy didn’t rly kno what to do abt this (emotions hd never been smthn he particularly understood, his own or how to handle other people’s) so after watching her fr 5 minutes he went out n gently shook her shoulder n was like. mom come inside u look weird out here. FKGHSFHGSFHKGFHKSGSFGHK. this was him trying to show love <3

ziggy’s mum is like.... rly relationship dependent. she gets all her self worth n validation frm whtever man she’s dating.... so she went on this like.... wild rampage of jst. dating a very large string of men. they ranged frm dreadfully boring to downright awful n were always below her standards. ziggy quite literally hated. all of them. every last one. even one that tried to b nice to him by offering to help him do his math homework when he ws 13 (bc ziggy was struggling a lot w this) n in response ziggy loudly barked until the man gt scared n stumbled backwards into a dining chair on his way out of the room. KGHFHKSJHFJGSHKFG

while him n his mum hv a kind of strained situation (there’s a great deal of resentment from her end n kind of. blaming him fr “driving his father away” n it’s never spoken abt bt it’s very much Present in their relationship n honestly ziggy kind of resents her too fr bringing some of the men into their lives tht she did) there is. love there...... sometimes she’ll like. reach out to cup the back of his head n he’ll duck his head away n be like wtf are u doing checking me for lice? n she’ll jst smile like :)...... knowing that’s how he loves. KHSFGKJGHKSFGFHKGSHF. ugh we love men who know how to process their emotions yesssss king give us nothing <3

(abuse n violence tw) idk i won’t go into it too much bt even tho ziggy’s constantly like 🙄 when his mum shows him affection he wld quite literally. kill fr her n almost did one time.......... narrowly avoided getting charged w assault when one of her bfs was drunk n evil n he went into protective mode.... idk he. has gone thru a lot n seen a lot n so has his mum. they look after each other the best they kno how despite the negatives in their relationship.... it’s complex <3

literally got in trouble so. often. at school. he ws always hyperactive (undiagnosed adhd n also probably not helped by the fact he ws jst allowed to eat sm junk food w 459729457952 sugar percentage all hours of the day) bt when his dad left n like. dealing w acting out so severely at home where his mum’s bfs were concerned it rly escalated..... i jst think he ws like. literally a terror. probably got suspended so many times. maybe even was permanently expelled before he cld get his diploma honestly. set off a firework in school hallway. smthn absolutely reckless n stupid.

hs hd a bunch of jobs mostly in the service industry...... usually ends up getting fired.... worked at mcdonald’s fr a while n then one day he went in rly high n ate three cheeseburgers in front of a weeping child who hd ordered one.... promptly gt fired bt he ws like yo fuck this place i’m quitting n threw off his apron n was like who’s with me??? who’s joining the union??????? to the rest of the staff n they were all mostly like >_> <_< before security approached to forcibly remove him n he grabbed a cookie n crammed it into his mouth in rebellion mid frantic n frankly possessed escape.....

in terms of wht’s going on to this day w his living situation i honestly think he still lives w his mum. i can just see this. KHGFSKGHSFGKSFGH. in like. a ramshackle bungalow in delphinus heights.... having said tht she probably isn’t. there tht often nw she’s dating her latest man (jonas, somehow always sweaty no matter the weather, wears too many gold rings n smells like shoe cleaner) who owns a car dealership n thinks he’s a kingpin for it. still home sometimes tho.

PERSONALITY:

ziggy spends his days working shifts at an ice cream parlour (one he got fired from once bc he broke in high n ate sm ice cream he was lay on the floor in the bk pants unbuttoned stomach bulging sm calling himself garfield saying he had too much lasagna. they hired him bk tho bc he has a harem of middle aged women who lust after him n it brings customers....) or like. cruising parties...... setting off fireworks.... skateboarding...... breaking into abandoned buildings.... filming stupid jackass type tricks....... playing guitar hero...... getting drunk at the arcade..... sometimes busking fr cash in a tossed dwn hat (very badly) (thinks he’s sick at it however)........ or alternatively...... fucking chicks aha...... fuck.......... not exclusive to chicks tho just had to sound despicable bt :smirk: he’s bi Baby....

i won’t lie he’s kind of an asshole................ never rly was taught properly how to empathise with ppl so like he struggles w that....... sometimes he’ll say smthn tht’s genuinely just quite mean n doesn’t need to be said but he doesn’t rly realise it’s like bad. n he’s like. what’s the deal haha why are u mad......

fuckboy. genuinely jst. rly summarises it well. insatiable. sleeps around wildly. will say he’ll call u back n then will not call u back. lies like oh babe i’m moving to france tomorrow fuckkkkkkkkk sucks so bad that we can only have one night but let’s make it special yeah? tits? n then they’ll see him casually skating past them on the street a week later n be like well clearly he’s not in france. ziggy doesn’t care.

calls himself a “genius inventor” bc he once gutted a vintage analog television n made it into a fish tank. it literally leaked water a bit. still convinced he is a literal visionary never seen before never done again. he’s like i’m on the brink of greatness. i’m the next einstein.

has a bit of a god complex where he thinks he’s the sexiest person in any given room n it’s kind of funny bc like dylan minnette’s sexy to me bt tht isn’t a widespread opinion n ur being a bit bold ziggy...... regardless has confidence thru the roof tht isn’t rly deterred by anything or anyone.....

dyes his hair 49729572459752 colours every colour under the sun. sometimes all at once jst different patches. wears lots of tie dye tshirts n basketball shorts even tho he doesn’t play basketball. rly colourful sneakers. just lots of loud colours tbh. often wears a paper clip in his ear as an earring. pierced it himself. someone probably recorded him doing it fr his insta story. probably was drunk.

drives a vespa around tht is baby blue with pastel yellow polka dots. it has lots of tin cans attached to the back by string like on those cars when u just got married. he did not just get married. u can hear him arriving frm over a street away.

almost never pays fr anything bt is always like “yo it’s my treat” n then either dine n dashes or u have to pay

his idea of romance is nuking a hot pocket as breakfast in bed n then complaining he’s hungry n eating half

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

fuckboy antics: he’s insatiable. rabid. notorious. mayb they fkd n he didn’t call........ jst completely ghosted........ mayb they were genuinely into him n he honestly built up kind of false pretences abt them having a connection n then jst dipped..... cld b good fr angst n drama <3 someone please egg his house he deserves it <3

high skl heathens: locals tht were equally chaotic in hs..... just picture him having this group of misfits tht were like so loud n always getting up to no good doing god knows what god knows where.... probably gt arrested together breaking into an old abandoned hospital one time........... rly just doing the absolute most at all times............. probably so loud........... drinking n smoking far too much.....

an attempted teenage relationship: i’m like. tentative to even put this one bc i just feel like ziggy wld be a shit bf. KJHGFSHGFHGSFHGFKGHFKSG. but. maybe it ended in drama.....i’d say this wld probably be a girl bc in hs he probably ws less open w his sexuality... maybe ziggy cheated on her or she cheated on him................ angst........ strife.... we love it we love it........ i crash my car into the bridge... i don’t care... i love it... sudden icona pop moment me stood on stage singing karaoke.... it’s just gone 7am as i write this so i apologise if this is losing any. coherency. smiles so sexy....

last adolescent plot i swear: i picture when ziggy was expelled he somehow amassed a large group to protest w signs outside the school fr him to be accepted back. it didn’t work. he threw a party when he received news he hadn’t got back in anyway. maybe ur muse was involved or helped organise this or was violently opposed.

enemies: ppl who just. don’t like ziggy bc like honestly that’s so fair n valid. KJHGFKGHKSFGHSGKHSFHG..... mayb he like. exploded their mailbox one time when they were younger. mayb he skated over their toes. mayb he fucked their bitch aha fuck................. (joking btw) (don’t condone misogyny) (hashtag feminism). cld be fun to play around w

fwb: probably hs a few of these......... mayb they’re cool w things being no strings attached n lax n at ease w ziggy being the mess tht he is in general..... mayb they want more bt ziggy cannot provide...... mayb they literally don’t get on at all n this is their only mutual ground n they keep coming bk to each other.... :smirk:..... whatever u Farncy....

maybe ziggy’s mum dated ur muse’s dad at one point???? we can discuss this if u think it fits..... cld be fun to play around w............

coworkers: past or present r fun..... mayb they were like WTFFF is this guy fking ONNN at a past job (he’s had a few in the food service industry so pretty open in tht area)... mayb they work w him at the ice cream parlour now..... cn discuss the dynamic probably wld be dependent on the muse involved fr like. how he’d act n stuff.... :yum:

#irvingintro #abuse tw #violence tw #believe tht's all....

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iseeskiesofblueandcloudsofwhite · 3 years

Text

Pumpkin Man

Andrew thought he got rid of the man he suspected had an affair with his wife. Little did he know that he problems only started to take root in his backyard.

Chapter One

Andrew

May 16, 2021. It will be the day I forever regret. The day I killed my Robert Norstrum. He was a co-worker of Stacy, my wife. They worked at a local home depot at a town over, she worked in the garden section while he worked in electrical. He was a short man with piercing blue eyes and dark black hair who always had something clever to say and chose the most annoying way to say it. I know that I could be rough around the edges, not as easy going as some but that didn’t mean that he needed to bother my wife. I am a good father to our child and got a degree in software engineering so I could pay for our beautiful house with a garden that Stacy loved. Our home that we made was the perfect slice of heaven

There was nothing extraordinary about Robert that I could see, but I could see that my wife thought of him differently. Initially, when she spoke about him, her eyes would light up. Eventually she caught on to my disgust for him and just mentioned him on occasion, but at that point only the slightest mention would send me in a bad mood. And then there were the lapses of time I didn’t know where she was. She said she was going out to the store or out for a walk, but all I could imagine was her talking and giggling with that man with the blue eyes. When I mentioned it to her, she said that I was paranoid. The feeling was similar to that of right before one gets a head cold. You can sense something is off, but can’t quite put your finger on it. I remember my growing anxiety that I might lose my house, my wife and my kid along with everything I worked so hard to accomplish.

That day Robert Nostrum showed up at my door looking for her. It was in the middle of the day and I was working from home at that time taking my lunch. Stacy took Talyor, our daughter, on a playdate, and would not be back for hours. He said that he was dropping off a mums, and a giant pumpkin plant that she had been eyeing. I remember looking at the plant and thinking that I was the only man that should be giving Stacy gifts. I led him down into the basement where I said I had electrical problems and needed another man’s eyes on it. From there it was quite simple, while he was looking at the electrical work I hit him on the back of the head with a crowbar. There was no struggle as he seemed to be in shock. He fell to the floor and as I bludgeoned his face until it was unrecognizable. From there wrapped his body in an old carpet and put it in a wheelbarrow. It was in the middle of the day and I knew that most of the neighbors were at work in upper class suburbia. I emailed work quickly citing a family emergency so I could deal with the remains. My backyard also had a thin veil of trees from one property to the other making it difficult to see adjoining properties unless one was intent on looking. I dug a deep grave in the freshly tilled soil of the garden rather fast. Where the tiller did not reach I used a pick ax to loosen the dirt, the wet spring soil easily breaking under my shovel . I dug it much deeper than anyone would ever uncover. I knew I would tell Stacy next year that the garden would have to be moved next year and make some excuse that there was better light in other places of the lawn, but changing the location of the garden now would be too much work without a better cause. After digging the grave, I simply dumped the body in with the pumpkin plant that he came with. It was almost chilling to see that after I put back the earth around the grave, that it looked no different than the garden surrounding it. I cleaned the mess in the basement. Taking his car and I drove it to a local deserted park wearing plastic gloves to make sure I left no fingerprints. By the time Stacy was home with Taylor, so I told her that I had taken a short walk around town and I would be back in a few hours. That was the last I thought Robert Northstom would bother me, my wife or my daughter but I was horribly wrong.

Chapter Two

Stacy

Stacy looked outside the french windows as the crisp fall air touched her face. It wasn’t really cold, but the air was definitely getting drier and she could feel a sense of autumn wrapping its arms around her. Stacy could hardly believe it was autumn. It seemed like just yesterday that it was the start of the season at the store and she was laying out new plants that had just sprouted. That was when Robert kept her company at the store. He was nothing more than a friend but a real close one and his absence along with the socialization that Stacy got from working made Stacy feel uneasy transitioning back home. Stacy always found the adjustment back to full time stay at home mom overwhelming, but this year it seemed to hit even more. Taylor and her family were her life but Andrew had a tendency to be distant and Taylor could be a handful. Work sometimes seemed a lot less complicated than her home life.

Stacy savored the few moments before Taylor, her five year old, woke up and started creating havoc in the house with her toys. She could hear that her husband Andrew had already started working upstairs on his computer. He didn’t say a word to her this morning, but that was the way things usually were. He wasn’t distant when they first started dating, Stacy couldn’t really put her finger on it when they stopped saying good morning to each other, but now that was just the way it was. Stacy walked into the kitchen and started making breakfast with Edgar, the cat closely at her heels. Stacy was barely done with the eggs when she heard Taylor clomping down the stairs.

“Mommy!’ Taylor cheered as she entered the kitchen. She squatted down near Edgar and gently pulled his tail. Immediately Edgar scrambled out of the kitchen.

“Taylor, don’t pull his tail. That hurts him.” Stacy said.

“I’m sorry Mommy.” Taylor muttered, sitting in her chair.

“What do you want to do today? We could go to the farm and go for a tractor ride. Does that sound fun?” Stacy asked.

“Scarecrow!" Taylor exclaimed, pointing out the windows towards the garden.

This year the garden was a bust. Every plant Stacy planted died almost immediately as if the land was intentionally salted. The death had also creeped a little in the yard right up to the house resulting in a horrible looking yard. Stacy was sure it was just a bad grub problem this year, but then, in the middle of July, a pumpkin plant started to flourish in the garden. It soon consumed the barren garden with cascading leaves and pulsating veiny stems.

Since it was the only plant growing in the garden the pumpkin plant demanded the attention of the garden. In the middle of the vegetation lay a single pumpkin. It was not a huge pumpkin, slightly bigger than one’s head.

“Ok, we can do that.” Stacy knew Andrew should probably be included in the family activity, but he never seemed interested with any of the plants this year.

He even mentioned killing the plant and starting afresh making a new garden, but Stacy and Taylor would not allow it.

Stacy and Taylor walked out into the garden. The strong early autumn sun warmed the air but the dryness was still there. Taylor pranced out in the lawn already distracted by the sunshine and the earth. Stacy went into the garage grabbing paper, a pencil, cutting utensils, an old flannel shirt, jeans and gloves. Walking back to the house Stacy grabbed paints and a paintbrush. Painting was much more safe than carving knives.

“Andrew, we are going to make a scarecrow. I was wondering if you were free to help me cut off the stalk?”

“Umm.. sure. I will be there soon” Andrew mumbled.

Stacy walked out in the yard and helped Taylor gather leaves for the scarecrow’s body. Andrew came out to the yard a few minutes later with a knife.

“Daddy!” Taylor ran to Andrew. Andrew threw the knife a safe distance away and grabbed Taylor spinning her in the air.

Stacy looked at both Andrew and Taylor with the backdrop of their house. Everything about their life was picture perfect at this moment as she joined her family in an embrace.

“We are going to make a scarecrow today?’ Andrew asked, dropping Taylor and picking up the knife again.

“Yes, Scarecrow!” Stacy cheered.

Stacy noticed Andrew's face became firmer when he looked at the garden. He picked up the knife in his hand and walked towards the pumpkin. Sitting down, Andrew sliced the stem.

Errikkk

A distant scream cried out that sounded like it came a few houses over. The knife barely made an abrasion on the stalk.

“Mommy, I’m scared.” Taylor cooed.

“It’s ok baby.” Stacy said.

Andrew readjusted the pumpkin and tried again.

Ahhhh

Another distant scream seemed to vibrate out of the ground. This time the knife made a cut an inch deep.

“Stop!” Taylor shrieked, running towards the house. Stacy looked toward Andrew.”

“Is that noise coming from the pumpkin?” Stacy questioned.

“Don’t be silly, those sounds aren’t coming from the plant. I will get it.” Andrew grumbled.

Stacy turned to get Taylor back in the house listening to the continued screaming coming from outside until she entered the house. In the house, Taylor was in the living room watching Andrew cut the pumpkin.

“It’s ok. The pumpkin plant can’t feel anything.” Stacy reassured Taylor.

They watched Andrew cut the pumpkin off it’s stalk and cut a hole for the pole. The way here was something rough about him when carving the object, the way that he even held the pumpkin like a severed head caused Stacy shivers. After doing his diligence, Andrew walked back to the house and went back to work in his upstairs study, without saying a word

“So, paint time?” Stacy suggested.

“Yes!” Taylor squealed.

Stacy and Taylor went back to the yard with the paint supplies.

“He could be a friendly pumpkin. He could be a friend to the trees and birds.” Stacy suggested.

“Yes, he will be friendly! Here Mommy I did it.” Taylor said

Stacy gazed upon her child’s artwork. Perhaps it was friendly to a five year old, but to Stacy it had a creepy edge to it. The pumpkin had a bright red grin that reached half the span of the pumpkin like a clown mouth. His nose was a lopsided yellow triangle and above that were huge blue eyes with black pupils.

“Looks great sweetie.” Stacy said, trying to hide her aversion to her daughter’s artwork. Taylor seemed oblivious to Stacy's thoughts.

“Hello, Mr. Scarecrow.” Taylor chirped as Stacy hammered a post on the edge of the garden and assembled the body. When she was finished it was 3:30 in the afternoon.

“Ok Taylor, time to clean up and go in. I’m going to start dinner for Daddy now.” Stacy said.

“But I want to play with Mr. Scarecrow now. He has to have friends”. Taylor protested.

“You can be his friend tomorrow.” Stacy said handing Taylor paint supplies. Taylor sighed and started helping Stacy clean up.

That evening after dinner the family set down to watch TV. The sun was setting earlier and already at 7 o clock the inky blackness of night had set in. Having little attention for TV this week, Stacy wandered into the kitchen. Passing by her French windows, she noticed Edger the cat transfixed with the outside world.

“What is it Edger? Do you see a mouse?” Stacy said. Edger looked back at her, now seeing that he got her attention, Edger began crying to the outside.

“Stop it, there's nothing out there.” Stacy said as she put the dishes in the dishwasher.

Nevertheless, the cat began crying more and more, like Stacy had not heard before.

“What’s up with Edger?” Andrew asked.

“I don’t know.” Stacy said, grabbing a mask and shooing away the cat from the windows.

Quickly frisking the darkness with a flashlight Stacy didn’t see anything new in the lawn, but as her flashlight hit the pumpkin, for a split-second, Stacy could have sworn that the pumpkin had narrowed its eyes.

Chapter Three

Stacy

The next day, Stacy was rushing to clean the house. Taylor’s friend, Amanda, was coming over.

“Is Amanda here yet? I want to show her Mr. Scarecrow today!” Taylor announced, holding a few stuffed animals in her hand.

“Ok, but you need to get dressed in the clothes I laid out for you and brush your teeth.” Stacy said, feeling overwhelmed. Andrew went to get coffee for himself a half an hour ago and hadn't come back yet. She can’t really blame him; Amanda’s parents were not their favorite people. There was no one reason why she disliked Amanda’s parents, but they could be rude at times. Stacy just would rather prefer dealing with them and her daughter together rather than alone. Hearing a door slam, Stacy turned her attention to the street to see Amanda being dropped off by her parents at the curb. Stacy breathed a sigh of relief. At least the feelings she had toward Amanda’s parents were mutual. Amanda clamored out of the car and rang the doorbell.

“Amanda!” Taylor squealed. She still was in her pajamas.

The two jumped around the living room with a loud greeting.

“Ok Taylor, get your clothes on and you two can play outside.” Stacy said.

“Yes Mom.” Giving Stacy an exaggerated salute Taylor raced up the stairs to her bedroom.

Waiting for Taylor, Amanda went to the kitchen overlooking the backyard.

“What’s that?” Amanda asked

“That’s a scarecrow we made.” Stacy explained.

“Wow!” Amanda exclaimed, transfixed by the garden ornament.

“You can go out there and I’ll let Taylor know.” Stacy offered.

Amanda ran out to see the scarecrow, soon followed by Taylor after she got dressed. At first, Stacy watched the pair talk next to the scarecrow, but eventually they were prancing around him and playing with stuffed animals with him. Stacy noticed that the children never touched the scarecrow, and that he remained perfectly still like a statue. Stacy found it rather amusing. Of all the toys she had purchased for Taylor, a scarecrow made out of old clothes provided hours of entertainment. Andrew came back from his coffee run and helped clean the house. It was nearing the time that Amanda had to go, but Stacy still wanted to play with the kids before she left.

“Let's go play with the girls.” Stacy offered hugging Andrew.

“Sounds like fun, let’s do it.” Andrew replied, kissing her on the forehead. They walked out of the house to the lawn across the lawn where Stacy could only see the profile of the scarecrow still facing the house.

“Hey kids, do you want to jump in the leaves?” Stacy announced. More had fallen than yesterday and there was enough for a small child to jump in.

“Yeah!" Taylor and Amanda raced toward Stacy leaving their playthings near the scarecrow. They ran towards Stacy’s pile of leaves screaming with delight. Stacy looked at her watch Amanda’s mother would be here any minute.

“Girls, go get your stuffed animals, Amanda your Mom should be here any minute.” Stacy said.

“Ugg! Already? I want to stay.” Amanda protested.

“I am sure you guys can pick up where you left off next time.” Stacy said as she noticed Amanda’s mother come in the backyard, her eyes not moving off the phone that she had in her hand.

“Mommy, Mommy! I had so much fun!” Amanda cried to her mother.

“Mhmm that’s great honey. Come on, we have to go.” Amanda’s mother started giving a quick wave to Stacy’s family and then turned around.

“Mommy, I want to go inside. I don’t think that Mr. Scarecrow likes it that we are playing without him. We should probably stop”. Taylor announced.

“Nonsense, it's just a scarecrow. If you are tired, we will play more tomorrow,” Andrew said.

“Ok” Taylor said, running back to the house, very unlike a child that was tired.

“She left her animals out here." Andrew pointed out.

Stacy followed his gaze across the yard, to notice that the scarecrow’s head was turned, and his blue eyes were staring at them. She also noticed that the wide grin on his face started to run downwards, creating the appearance of cheeks making him more human-like.

“Was it turned in this direction the whole time?” Stacy asked.

“I don’t know. I wasn't paying attention. Amanda’s mother could have moved it.’ Andrew replied.

Stacy walked into the garden to get Taylor’s stuffed animals, but she could not shake the feeling of another being’s presence. She thought about it, then straightened the pumpkin’s head back facing the house. Leaving the pumpkin man in the yard, Stacy ran back into the house without making a second glance.

Back in the house, Stacy washed her hands and started making dinner as Taylor played with her Legos.

“So Taylor, how was playing with Amanda?" Stacy asked.

“We mostly talked and played with Mr. Scarecrow.” Taylor said uninterested in the conversation.

“What did he say to you?” Stacy questioned.

“Well, he said that he likes the eyes that I gave him but he still can’t see well. He said that Daddy is a bad man and he wants to take things from Daddy the way he took things from him. I didn’t understand it. I told him that Daddy was nice and that Daddy can share because sharing is good. Then we played but I think he got mad when we started playing with Daddy. That’s ok, I will play with him tomorrow.” Taylor said still focused on her Legos.

Stacy furrowed her brow.

“Well, I want you to play with Daddy as much as you can.” Stacy said. After she was done in the kitchen, Stacy balanced though the Legos to talk to Andrew.

“That was very strange stuff.” Stacy said.

“Children have a very active imagination, but if you want to take it down you can.” Andrew suggested. He was reading a book upstairs by himself, just as interested in talking to Stacy as Taylor was.

“But she's attached to it, I can’t just destroy it.” Stacy said.

“I don’t know, destroy it, leave it up. Doesn’t matter to me.” Andrew said not looking away from his book.

Feeling frustrated, Stacy left the room. It had always been like this- Andrew was reliable when it came to having fun with Taylor, but uninterested when it came to actual parenting.

Back downstairs, Taylor was still playing with her Legos, and Edger started his odd behavior of crying at the French doors. Stacy scooped up the cat and put him in the basement, too emotionally drained to deal with him. She told herself she would give the scarecrow three more days and then tell Andrew to get rid of it.

Chapter Four

Andrew

I have had nightmares of Robert Nordstrom ever since I killed him. Sometimes he is there in the corner of my mind, just staring at me with glittering blue eyes like his scarecrow stands in our yard. In my dreams when I try to destroy him he seems to take something of mine, like an eye or a limb. After killing him the dream would continue but I would live out my life suffering as an amputee or blind. These dreams led me to roam the house at night. I wanted to destroy that scarecrow, but I knew that it would take it’s revenge, if not on me than on my family. So I will just watch it for now. My hope is that he will rot into the soft earth he came out of, and I would never have to deal with Robert Nordstrom or his ghost again.

Chapter Five

Stacy

The next day the ground was encrusted in a light frost. Unable to sleep well, Stacy slept in the living room downstairs. The morning sun woke her up and Stacy looked out at the lawn. The first thing that drew her eye was Mr. Scarecrow, although there was nothing more different with him this morning that she could see from this distance other than the fact that one of his gloves came off. Suddenly she heard movement from upstairs and the sound of little feet.

“Baby, what are you doing this early?” Stacy asked.

“I had nightmares. You were not in your room.” Taylor replied, clutching one of her stuffed animals near her face.

Stacy scooped up Taylor and put her on her hip.

“It’s ok. I could not sleep either. What do you want to do today?”

“I want to talk to Mr. Scarecrow.” Taylor said pointing at the backyard.

“Let's do something else today. How about a hayride?” Stacy suggested.

“No, I want to talk to him”. Taylor protested.

“Err, ok, but only for a few minutes and then we are going to go to the hayride.” Stacy said, walking out the back yard as Taylor skipped next to her.

When they reached Mr. Scarecrow, it was obvious things had changed. His round pumpkin face had rotted away to reveal a more human-like skull making his eyes more sunken in. When Stacy put Mr. Scarecrow’s glove back on the stake she noticed that the wood on the stake decayed in the shape of a wrist. Taylor started to whimper and hide behind Stacy.

“Mr. Scarecrow is more angry today. He wants to hurt Daddy.” Taylor whispered to Stacy.

Stacy didn’t want to bother Andrew anymore during the day with the scarecrow.

“Let's go to the farm and take a hayride, then when we get back I will have Daddy talk to Mr. Scarecrow, Ok?” Stacy said.

She grabbed Taylor’s hand and guided her towards the driveway, frequently checking her back.

When they got home, it was almost sunset. Stacy quickly busied herself with dinner. As soon as the sun went down, Edgar started crying at the French windows.

“Edger, stop it.” Stacy muttered, grabbing the flashlight and pulling back the curtain. The night was bright and she could see the gleam of the scarecrow's head against the moon.

“Mommy, what's going on?” Taylor whined.

“Nothing babe. It’s just Edger. It’s time to go to bed.” Stacy scooped up Taylor and led her towards her room. Up on the second story, Stacy got Taylor ready for bed, opening the windows to let in the perfect autumn sleeping weather.

Thump Thump Thump

“Mommy, what's that? Is that Mr. Scarecrow outside?” Stacy looked out the window. It was hard to make anything out, but in the place of the pumpkin man there was only a stick left where he once stood.

‘Yes he is out there somewhere. Here go to bed now.” Stacy tucked Taylor in.

“Mommie”. Taylor whined.

“Taylor, nothing is going to get you here. Now go to bed,” Stacy ordered, giving her daughter a kiss on the cheek.

“Everything will be alright.” Stacy said, closing the door behind her. The house was well lit as Stacy walked down stairs. Grabbing a flashlight Stacy walked outside on the back porch and showed it to the dark lawn. Frisking the flashlight over the lawn Stacy now saw clearly the face of Robert Norstrum in the garden.

“Bob?” Stacy screeched, dropping the flashlight in the house. The light scattered and fell onto the floor breaking the bulb. Stacy raced back in the house and fumbled for a new flashlight in her cabinet, frequently keeping her eye on the yard behind her. Grabbing the flashlight in her hand Stacy undid the lock on the french windows and stepping out into the night, not noticing her husband watching her from the kitchen.

Chapter Six

Andrew

I heard her yell his name and run out into the dark. At this point there was no doubt that the pumpkin contorted to the shape of a man’s face though decay and now resembled a man with blue eyes, whether that man was Robert I had my doubts. Nevertheless, the scarecrow was bothering everyone in this house, so I had to do something. I did not intend on hurting Stacy as I walked slowly behind her, crowbar in my hand to destroy the creation that was on my property. It was only when I stopped a few yards away when I saw her reach out the thing and touch the pumpkin man’s rotten flesh. My mind raced as I realized that by removing Robert from the picture, it did not replace me in her heart. My wife was the precious thing that Robert took. As this occurred to me a numbness came upon me as I ran toward the scarecrow to destroy it. I must have tripped on a massive root in the yard while I was running toward her because the crowbar landed squalry on top of her head. She yelped in pain or surprise as she fell toward the scarecrow. The light was low, but I could see that she lay motionless around a thick spray of dark red liquid. There was no running from what I had done. Even if she were to be still alive, I would have to try to explain to people what happened - the police or the hospital or something. She was too far away from the house to claim that she fell from our bedrooms. Suddenly I saw vines emerging from the pumpkin wrapping around her body. I hurled the crowbar again and again at the pumpkin destroying it’s rotten grotesque face. I missed a few times creating a soggy pile of brains and pumpkin at my feet. When the task was complete I buried her in the garden and tilled in the pumpkin plant as much as I could. The next day I tilled the garden and called 911 to report a missing person. It wasn’t until Taylor woke up to discover that her mother had disappeared in the night that the thought of raising her alone came to me.

After a few years had gone by it was clear that Robert took more than my wife that day. Like my dreams, I now walk around mentally suffering and disfigured. My lawn is filled with pumpkin sprouts that I constantly hack with a fear that a pumpkin will appear again. On May 16, 2021 I thought Robert Northstorm was out of my life, but now he haunts me every day.

#writing #horror #short story #short fiction #horror writing #goosebumps #creative writing

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thelittlesttimelord · 4 years

Text

The Littlest Timelord: The Fall of the Eleventh Chapter 5

TITLE: The Littlest Timelord: The Fall of the Eleventh Chapter 5 PAIRING: No Pairing RATING: T CHAPTER: 5/? SUMMARY: Elise Smith is now a teenaged Timelord. In addition to losing the Ponds, the fields of Trenzalore are calling. But first they have to figure out exactly who Clara Oswald is.

[A/N - I’m back! We had a lot of work done to the house this week, so I’ll hopefully be writing all weekend.]

Elise groaned and sat up.

Rory suddenly jumped up and looked around. “Oh! Elise!” He gently helped her up. “Are you okay?”

“I think so.”

They were surrounded by Daleks.

Elise’s heartrate started to speed up, but she pushed her fear down. Now was the time to be brave.

Rory approached one and touched it, but nothing happened.

“They’re deactivated. Good,” Elise said, “Come on.”

Rory pulled out his pen light and they ventured into the asylum.

They entered a chamber filled with Daleks.

Rory approached one and turned its head to examine it. When he let go, its head turned back.

“Rory…” Elise warned him.

He stepped back and accidentally kicked a piece of metal.

This caused the Dalek’s eyestalk to start to glow. The Daleks around them started to come to life. “Eg-eg-eg-eg-eg-eg-eg,” the Dalek stuttered.

“What? Sorry, what?” Rory asked.

“Eg eg eg eg eg eg eggs.”

“Eggs? You mean those things?”

“Rory!” Elise snapped. They needed to get out of here before the Daleks powered up completely.

“Eggs!” the Dalek said.

“I don't…I don't know what you want. Those things. Are those things eggs?” Rory pointed to the round casings on the floor and picked one up. “This? You want this?” He offered it to the Dalek.

“Egg. Stir. Min. Ate.”

Rory dropped the casing as the Daleks around them echoed their phrase.

“Run!” Elise yelled and grabbed Rory by the arm.

The Dalek fired at them, but just missed them. They dodged blasts as the Daleks continued to scream at them.

Oswin’s voice came over the PA system. “Run! The door at the end, run for it. They're waking up, but they're slow. The door at the end. Just run. Now! Now! Now!”

Elise and Rory ran for the door. It rose up just enough for them to slide underneath it. It closed behind them. Elise and Rory panted in relief.

“Thanks,” Rory said, looking at Elise.

“You’re welcome.”

“You know…you sounded a lot like your father.”

Elise smiled. “Thank you.”

“So, anyway, I'm Oswin. What do I call you?” the woman asked.

“Er, I can't remember. Er, Rory.”

“I’m Elise,” Elise told her, “Elise Smith.”

“Lovely name, Rory. First boy I ever fancied was called Rory,” Oswin said.

“Okay…” Rory said, clearly still in shock.

“Actually, she was called Nina. I was going through a phase. Although Elise is pretty name too and look at those blue eyes!”

Elise blushed.

“Just flirting to keep you cheerful,” Oswin told them.

“Exterminate. Exterminate!” came through the door.

“Er, okay, any time you want to start flirting again is fine by me,” Rory said.

Rory and Elise were walking down a corridor when Rory’s flashlight started to flicker.

Elise pulled out her sonic screwdriver and soniced the flashlight.

“What are you doing?” Rory asked her.

“Hopefully making the batteries last longer.”

“Hey there, Blinky boy and Sonic girl,” Oswin said.

“If it's a straight choice, I prefer Nina,” Rory told her.

“Loving this. A nose and a chin. You two could fence. But I would give anything to get lost in those blue eyes of yours lovely.”

Rory and Elise looked slightly uncomfortable with the flirting.

“There's a door behind you,” Oswin told them.

The door rose and Elise and Rory ran into the room. There was a large round platform in the middle.

“In there, quickly. Okay, you're safe for now. Pop your shirt off, quick as you like.”

“Why?” Rory asked, starting to take his jacket off.

“Does there have to be a reason?”

“Why are you and Amy breaking up?” Elise asked Rory, “You love each other.”

“You noticed that, huh?”

Elise rolled her eyes. “Of course I noticed.”

“It’s complicated, Elise.”

“I wouldn’t understand right?”

Rory sighed. “That’s not what I meant. Marriages aren’t easy. Look at River and the Doctor.”

“They make it work.”

“Some marriages just don’t.”

There was a loud explosion and the whole room shook.

“Oswin?” Elise asked.

“What was that? That was close,” Rory said.

Elise and Rory ran out into the chamber again.

“Oswin? What happened? Who killed all the Daleks?” Rory asked.

The Doctor walked through the smoke, carrying Amy. “Who do you think?” The Doctor carried her into the teleport room and laid her down on the pad.

“Will sleeping help her? Will it slow down the process?” Rory asked.

“You'd better hope so because pretty soon she's going to try and kill you,” Oswin said.

“Amy,” the Doctor cooed, stroking her hair.

“Ow,” Amy groaned.

“Amy. You still with us?” “Amy, it's me. Do you remember me?” Rory asked.

Amy’s hand shot up and slapped him. “She remembers me.”

“Same old Amy,” the Doctor said, jumping to his feet.

“Do you know how you make someone into a Dalek? Subtract love, add anger. Doesn't she seem a bit too angry to you?” Oswin asked.

Amy sat up. “Well, somebody's never been to Scotland.”

“What about you, though, Oswin? How come you're okay?” the Doctor asked, “Why hasn't the nanocloud converted you?”

“I mentioned the genius thing, yeah? Shielded in here.”

“Clever of you. Now, this place. The Daleks said it was fully automated. Look at it. It's a wreck.”

“Well, I've had nearly a year to mess with them, and not a lot else to do.”

“A junior entertainment manager hiding out in a wrecked ship, hacking the security systems of the most advanced warrior race the universe has ever seen. But you know what really gets me about you, Oswin? The soufflés. Where do you get milk for the soufflés?” The Doctor turned to his daughter and companions. “Seriously. Is no one else wondering about that?”

“No. Frankly, no. Twice,” Rory told him.

“So, Doctor. I've been looking you up. You're all over the database. Why do the Daleks call you the Predator?” Oswin asked.

“I'm not the Predator, I'm just a man with a plan,” the Doctor said.

“You've got a plan?”

“We’re all ears!” Rory said, ready to get off this planet.

“There's a nose joke going if someone wants to pick that one off,” Amy said.

“In no particular order, we need to neutralize all the Daleks in this Asylum, rescue Oswin from the wreckage, escape from this planet and fix Amy and Rory's marriage,” the Doctor told them.

“Okay, I'm counting three lost causes,” Amy quipped, “Anyone else?”

“Oswin, there's a Dalek ship in orbit.”

“Yes. Got it on the sensors,” Oswin told him.

“The Asylum has a forcefield. The Daleks upstairs are waiting for me to turn it off. Soon as I do, they'll burn this whole world and us with it. So, Oswin, my question is this. How fast can you drop the forcefield?”

“Pretty fast. But why would I?”

“Because this is a teleport. Am I right, Oswin?”

“Yeah. Internal use only.”

The Doctor pulled out his sonic screwdriver and soniced the pad underneath Amy. “I can boost the power. Once the forcefield is down, I can use it to beam us right off this planet.”

“You said when the forcefield is down, the Daleks will blow us up,” Rory told him.

“We'll have to be quick, yes.”

“Fine, we'll be quick. But where do we beam to?” Amy asked.

“The only place within range. The Dalek ship.”

“They'll exterminate us on the spot.”

“Ah, so this is the kind of escape plan where you survive about four seconds longer?” Rory asked.

“What's wrong with four seconds? You can do loads in four seconds. Oswin, how fast can you drop the forcefield?”

“I can do it from here, as soon as you come and get me,” she said.

The Doctor stood up. “No, just drop the forcefield and come to us.”

“There's enough power in that teleport for one go. Why would you wait for me?”

“Why wouldn't I?”

“No idea. Never met you. Sending you a map so you can come get me.”

“This place is crawling with Daleks,” Rory told her.

“Yeah. Kind of why I'm anxious to leave. Come up and see me sometime.”

The Doctor and Elise walked over to a screen to study the map.

“So, are we going to go get her?” Rory asked.

“I don't think that we have a choice.” The Doctor walked over to Rory and handed him the button to teleport. “Okay, as soon as the forcefield is down the Daleks will attack. If it gets too explody-wody in here, you go without me, okay?”

“And leave you to die?”

“Oh, don't worry about me. You're the one beaming up to a Dalek ship to get exterminated.”

“Fair point. Love this plan. What about Amy?”

The Doctor went underneath the platform to wire it up to the device Rory was holding. “Keep her remembering, keep her focused. That'll hold back the conversion.”

“What do I do?” Amy asked.

The Doctor popped up behind her. “You heard what she said. They're subtracting love. Don't let them.”

The Doctor stood up and Elise followed after him. “What are you doing?” he asked her.

“Coming with you, of course.”

The Doctor sighed. “Elise…”

“I am not staying with the fighting married couple. I already have to listen to you and mum.”

“Hey! I didn’t start that fight.”

“No, your stupidity did.”

The Doctor rolled his eyes. “You really are your mother’s daughter.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

#eleventh doctor #eleventh doctor fanfiction #eleventh doctor imagine #doctor who #Doctor Who fanfiction #doctor who imagine #amy pond #amy pond imagine #Rory Williams #rory williams imagine #asylum of the daleks #the littlest timelord #the littlest timelord: the fall of the eleventh

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antiadvil · 4 years

Text

family reunions and hurt feelings

summary: Just because you're family doesn't mean you always get along.

OR:

Adrian brings his new girlfriend to Easter dinner, and Dan doesn't like her.

rating: PG13

wc: 2.5k

notes: for @catatonichristy

read more or on ao3

Dan was never going to offer to host something again, at least not if it involved any sort of human interaction on his part.

His relationship with his family had always been strained, but the only people from his side of the family he had invited were his mother, his grandparents, and his brother Adrian. Except then Adrian had brought his girlfriend, completely uninvited, and she was lovely enough, but they’d only been dating three months, and Dan hadn’t invited her, goddamnit, he’d invited Adrian. And he definitely couldn’t ask her to leave, because then she’d think they all hated her, and it wasn’t that Dan did, it was just that, well, she had messed up his plans, so maybe he did, a little.

He was going to have some words with Adrian later. Some very strongly worded words. For now, he introduced himself and Phil to Adrian’s girlfriend, made a note of her name (Chelsea), and slipped into the forced smile he used during uncomfortable interviews where they asked too many personal questions about his relationship with Phil or their children.

If Chelsea recognized him and Phil as those washed up YouTubers who were popular five years ago, she didn’t say anything. She was about the right age to have been part of their fanbase at the time, Dan thought cynically. He’d be surprised if she didn’t know who he was at all. And honestly, if she knew who Dan was, what were the odds that she hadn’t recognized Adrian’s last name?

It was bad enough that Adrian had brought Chelsea, but he had also brought her early, and Dan and Phil’s daughter was in no way dressed enough for a family gathering, let alone a family gathering where a near stranger was attending.

Phil gently touched Dan’s arm, sensing his stress. “I’ll go get Fiona ready,” he said.

Dan wished desperately that he had time to lean into Phil’s touch, but the roast was in the oven and Chelsea’s eyes were lingering on Phil’s hand, so he didn’t. “Thank you,” he said to Phil, then, to Adrian and Chelsea, “I’m just finishing up in the kitchen, if you don’t mind joining.”

Adrian and Chelsea followed Dan politely to the kitchen, still holding hands, and leaned against the counter while Dan busied himself with the roast. Adrian cleared his throat. “How are things going with Fiona?” he asked politely.

“She’s doing well,” Dan said. Normally he could easily be coaxed into hours of conversation about his daughter, but he wasn’t in the mood today. “How are you?”

“We’re good!” Adrian said, and Dan felt a twinge of annoyance at the use of “we” when he had only been asking about Adrian. “Things are actually going well for my photography business, and Chelsea might get a promotion soon-”

“Oh?” Dan asked. “What do you do, Chelsea?”

“I’m a lawyer,” she beamed.

Dan turned to the stove to hide his frown. “That’s nice,” he managed through gritted teeth.

Adrian spoke up. “I told her that you went to law school.”

It was nicer than saying he had dropped out of law school, at least. “I did,” he acknowledged. “Briefly.” He opened the oven to check on the roast, which looked like it could use a few more minutes.

“Do you need any help with anything?” Chelsea asked, and a bolt of annoyance shot through Dan. Now someone was asking?

“I think I’m good, thanks,” Dan said, turning back to them.

Luckily, Phil and Fiona came back into the kitchen to rescue Dan.

“Daddy!” Fiona squealed, running to Dan and clutching at his legs in a failed attempt at a hug. Dan smiled- a genuine one this time- and scooped her into her arms. Her white and pink dress rustled.

“You remember Uncle Adrian, right?” he asked Fiona.

She nodded, clutching Dan’s shirt. Dan continued. “And this is his girlfriend Chelsea. Can you say hi?”

“Hi,” Fiona said, eyes wide.

Dan kissed her forehead and set her down, mussing with her hair.

“Oy,” Phil said. “Don’t mess with the hair. It took me thirty minutes to get it untangled this morning.”

The doorbell rang. Dan shot Phil a confused look- why were so many people showing up early today? Phil just shrugged. “Can you get that?” he asked. “I’ll take care of the food.”

“Yeah,” Dan said, grateful for an excuse to escape. He left the kitchen, reaching to pat Fiona’s head as he left. He opened their front door to Martyn and Cornelia.

“You’re early,” he said, relieved.

“Phil texted us,” Martyn whispered. “Apparently your brother showed up too early so we should too?”

Dan thought he might cry, he was so grateful. “Yes,” he whispered back. “Thank you so much.”

“It was no problem,” Cornelia reassured him. “Thank you for hosting.”

“Of course,” Dan said, although he still slightly regretted it. “We’re in the kitchen.”

They followed him, where Martyn and Cornelia immediately got to work unpacking the food they had brought, asking Phil if there was anything else they could do, and introducing themselves to Adrian and Chelsea.

They were the model houseguests. Dan again resisted the urge to cry.

Phil stepped up beside Dan. “I texted my mum and dad. They’re coming as soon as possible too.”

Dan squeezed Phil’s hand. “Thank you.”

After about fifteen more minutes of awkward chit-chat, the doorbell rang again. This time, it was Phil who slipped away to answer the door. He returned with his parents a few moments later.

“Dan!” Kathryn drew him into an unexpected but welcome hug while Nigel hung a bit back.

“Kath! It’s good to see you!”

Things returned to normal, at least, as normal as family reunions could be. Adrian and Chelsea continued to hold hands and stand way too close together. Dan politely ignored their cheek kisses. He assumed everyone else did too- either that or they were somehow immune to such blatant displays of heterosexuality.

The roast somehow escaped from Dan and Phil’s oven unharmed, to everyone’s surprise. Their dinner went nicely, with minimal spillage of food on Fiona’s dress and barely any arguing about politics. Adrian and Chelsea sat across from each other, so Dan didn’t have to see them holding hands under the table.

It wasn’t that they weren’t cute. They were, Dan had to admit. But they were so young, so perfect, so painfully straight, so lost in their own little world. Dan was sitting right next to Phil and he still felt like he was third wheeling.

Dan idly wondered if this was what it was like being around him and Phil all the time. No, he decided, he and Phil were undeniably a unit, but they didn’t advertise it. Not with the constant, neverending whispers, giggles, glances, squeezing of hands. Maybe it was awkward sometimes, being around two people who knew each other so well, but being around Dan and Phil never felt like you were actively being excluded. Dan hoped it didn’t, anyway.

They got a moment of respite during the easter egg hunt. Fiona was the only grandchild of the family (even if Kathryn kept bugging Martyn and Cornelia to do something about that), but they still set out a bunch of easter eggs for her to find in Dan and Phil’s backyard. Phil delegated the responsibility of finding appropriate hiding spaces to Adrian and Chelsea, and Martyn and Cornelia insisted on clearing the table, leaving Dan, Phil, Fiona, Kathryn, and Nigel a minute to relax in the living room.

“What do you think of Chelsea?” Dan found himself asking the room at large.

Nigel just shrugged. “Adrian’s not my son. I don’t have any place saying anything about her.”

Kath also shrugged. “She seems nice enough. Bit early to be introducing her to the family, though, isn’t it?”

Thank god someone agreed. “A bit,” Dan agreed.

Phil quickly steered the conversation to a different subject. “Fiona’s been having a really good time at school lately.”

“Oh?” Kath said, setting down her cup of tea on the coffee table. “Do you want to tell me about it, sweetie?” she asked, extending her arms for her granddaughter to climb into. Fiona left her place by Phil’s side to climb into Kath’s lap.

“It’s fun,” she mumbled.

“Oh yeah?” she said, patting Fiona’s hair. “What parts?”

“Ava and I paint lots of pictures,” Fiona mumbled again.

“Who’s Ava?” Nigel asked.

Fiona hid her face in Kath’s shirt.

“Ava’s one of her friends from school,” Phil supplied.

“Is she nice?” Kath asked, petting Fiona’s head.

Fiona mumbled something, muffled by Kath’s shirt.

Kath switched tactics. “Can we see some of the paintings?”

Fiona happily led Kath and Nigel to the fridge where her paintings were hung, proudly presenting her work.

Phil smiled, reaching his hand for Dan’s and threading their fingers together, squeezing reassuringly. “You’re doing great,” he whispered.

“I’m not,” Dan whispered back.

“You haven’t killed him yet,” Phil said. “That’s good enough.”

Dan rolled his eyes. “The bar is literally on the floor.”

“Just don’t start digging, okay?”

Dan patted Phil’s cheek with his free hand. “I won’t.”

Adrian stepped back inside, closely followed by Chelsea. Dan let go of Phil’s hand and moved back a bit. To Dan’s surprise, they separated. Adrian peeled off to stand by Dan.

“Hey, Dan,” he said, worrying at his bottom lip. “Can we talk?”

Dan glanced out. “I was going to take Fiona out to look for the eggs before it got dark-”

Fiona heard the words “easter eggs” and came running. “It’s Easter egg time?” she asked.

“In a minute, honey,” Dan said absently.

Kath appeared close behind Fiona. “Nigel and I can take Fiona out to look for the eggs while you and Adrian talk,” Kath offered.

“Oh,” Dan said. “I guess that works.” He had been hoping to put off talking to his brother for as long as possible, but it wasn’t looking like he’d get the chance too.

“Perfect!” Kath said, leading Fiona out the door.

Adrian led Dan to the little hallway just off of the foyer. “What did you want to talk about?” Dan asked.

“What do you think of Chelsea?” Adrian asked.

“Why do you ask?” Dan said carefully.

“Because she’s my girlfriend, and I want to know what my family thinks of her,” Adrian said, annoyed.

Dan sighed.

“What?” Adrian asked.

“Why’d you bring her?” Dan asked.

“Because she’s my girlfriend,” Adrian said.

“You’ve been dating for three months, Adrian.”

His face was stony. “So?”

“I’m just saying, that’s not exactly enough time to be considered family.” He hadn’t started bringing Phil to family events until he came out to them a little under four years into Dan and Phil’s relationship.

Adrian narrowed his eyes. “Just because I didn’t wait for five fucking years, telling everyone we were just roommates-”

“Jesus, Adrian, are you two living together? After three months?”

“No! God, Dan, I’m just saying-”

“You’re just saying that I should have come out sooner because it would be more convenient for you. I get it.” If Dan knew that his previous anger was the tiniest bit unjustified, he didn’t have any such concerns now. Implying that Dan had wanted to hide in the closet for all those years crossed a line, and they both knew it.

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

“What did you mean, then?” Dan asked. “Explain.”

Adrian raised his hands in defense. “I meant that three months is a perfectly fine amount of time to wait before introducing someone to your family, all right? That’s all. I really like Chelsea and I wanted you all to meet her.”

“That’s another thing,” Dan said coldly. “Sure you like her, but you don’t know her. You’ve known her, what? Three months?”

“Six,” Adrian said. “We were friends before-”

“Oh, six then. Excuse me.” Dan knew he was going too far, but he couldn’t help it- he wanted to push this thing as far as it could go, until maybe it broke. “You two are so young,” he scoffed.

“You were eighteen.” Adrian looked Dan up and down in disgust. “Phil was twenty two. Get off your fucking high horse. Just because you have millions of people on the internet telling you how great your relationship is and how you’re the fucking epitome of love-”

Dan thought his eyes might be burning holes through Adrian now, but Adrian brazenly continued.

“Not all of us have your perfect fucking fairytale romance, you know. Some of us have to make do with what we have.”

“Adrian?” Chelsea’s voice came from the foyer. “What’s going on?”

“Chelsea,” he said, turning to her instantly. “I’m sorry, Dan and I are just...” He gestured fruitlessly between him and Dan. “Just talking,” he finished lamely.

“Oh,” she said.

“I think maybe we should go,” Adrian said.

Dan held back his sigh. “Don’t go,” he forced himself to say.

“I’ll see you at Christmas,” Adrian said.

Dan wasn’t sure if Adrian had meant for that comment to cut as deeply as it did.

He and Adrian had never been particularly close. There were just so many years between them, and so much else getting in the way. It wasn’t Dan’s intention that they grow up to be the kind of siblings who only ever saw each other on family holidays. It just kind of worked out that way.

“I’ll see you,” he said softly.

After Adrian and Chelsea left, everyone else slowly trickled out as well. It was about time for them to leave anyway- it was getting late.

After hugging everyone goodbye and making sure no one forgot anything, Dan, Phil, and Fiona were left standing in the foyer. Dan sighed, looking at the kitchen. He was never going to offer to host ever again. The cleanup was going to take way too long.

“Fiona, it’s time for bed,” Phil said, noticing the look in Dan’s eyes.

“Thank you,” Dan mouthed at Phil, who nodded in acknowledgement.

Phil led Fiona to her room, and Dan collapsed onto the couch. He sat, motionless, staring into the backyard. He thought he could see a flashes of brightly colored plastic left over from the Easter egg hunt illuminated by passing headlights. Fiona must have missed some eggs. He and Phil would have to pick those up up later, he though.

Phil sat down next to Dan on the couch.

“God,” Dan said. “That was a disaster.”

Phil rubbed Dan’s arm in sympathy. “I’m sorry.”

“I just wanted to have a nice day with my family,” Dan said.

“I wanted you to too,” Phil said, reaching over to kiss Dan’s forehead and pull him to his chest.

“Everything sucks,” Dan said, muffled into Phil’s shirt.

“I know,” Phil said. “I’m sorry.” He paused. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

“Hold me,” Dan said.

“Check,” Phil said, gathering Dan a little bit closer.

“Tighter,” Dan said.

Phil pulled him in closer.

“More,” Dan said.

Phil squeezed Dan as tightly as he could, then let go. “Dan, I feel like I’m going to hurt you,” he said.

“You won’t,” Dan said. “Please just. Please.”

Phil didn’t pretend to understand why Dan needed him like this, but he didn’t argue. He just held him.

#phan #phanfic #phanfiction #parent!phan #my writing

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years

Text

Ali & Carly

Ali: How do you like your 🥚🍳 in the morning? Carly: no 🐣 Carly: ha Ali: 🐔 didn't show up in your roost later, did he? Carly: he must be scared of you Carly: 🔮 Ali: or my 🐺 Carly: maybe Ali: eggs aside, how you feeling, chick? Carly: 😷🤒🤕🤢🤮 Ali: 👎👎👎👎👎 Ali: unacceptable! Ali: what do you need, kill or cure? Carly: cure forever Carly: im too young to die Ali: I'll swing by with my witches brew Ali: actually doesn't taste like ☠ either Ali: pure 😇 Carly: aw Carly: really? Ali: 'course, not gonna half-arse the job Ali: and it makes a full pot, no sense in not sharing the 💚 Carly: 💙 Carly: wat does it taste like? Ali: like Christmas 🎄🎅🤶🎁❄️🌨️☃️✨🌟 Carly: 😋😊🥰 Ali: it's got ginger and peppermint in Ali: the only other person hanging out their arse is my brother and he would rather die 'cos he's grumpy 👴 man energy so Carly: no 🦃 tho yea?! ha Carly: oh no he sounds like my da Carly: which cute bro is it? Ali: definitely not 😂 Ali: some greens but not sprouts Ali: the freckly one Carly: did u heal my heart to 💔😢? Carly: course itd be the most beautiful one Ali: oh no, you're delirious Ali: I'll come quick 😜 Carly: dont b jealous 👼 hes only the most beautiful boy Ali: 😏 My ma'll be gutted Carly: do u have a tea for that? Ali: 🍋 'cos she's so bitter? Ali: I'll see if she goes for it Carly: noooo 🍯 so she wont be Ali: you're too sweet yourself, Walsh Carly: aw Carly: but ur the 1 who saved me Carly: ur the sweetest Ali: anyone would Carly: nah ur the 1st Carly: not just saying it to u get ur fairy wings Ali: had to fly away from that particular 🐔 plenty myself Ali: harmless and flightless though he is, most the time Carly: yea Carly: he talks about u wen hes been on it Carly: the 1 that flew away Ali: uh oh Ali: can't let a boy ✂ your wings Ali: ever Ali: ever Ali: 👼🏽 🐔 🐧 🐦 🐤 🐣 🐥 🦆 🦢 🦅 🦉 🦚 🦜 🦇 🐝 🦋 🐞 🦗 🦟 🐓 🦃 🕊 Carly: im 😕💫🙃 but idk if those were the guests i danced with Carly: did get a cute lil 🎶🎤 to fall asleep to tho 💙🕊 Carly: 🌚🌝🌛🌜🌞 Ali: very 👸 of you though Ali: I can 👀 it Carly: my ma is trying to make me clean Carly: 🐇🐁🐀🐿🦔🐾 pls Ali: also unacceptable Ali: not 'til you're better Ali: use my wings to fly through and 🤞 he don't get the wrong idea about who I'm there to see Carly: [sends her a pic of whatever caravan mess she caused last night that her mum is raging about] Carly: so u can play a game of spot whats got her 😠 Carly: cuz idk Ali: Fun 🧐🤔🤨 Ali: angry mothers are my forte Ali: [does the circling the hazzards moment on the pic] Carly: making her angry is mine but nah to knowing y ever ever Carly: k ur cute & smart Carly: 🌟 Ali: it's rarely logical, but 🤫 on that or it's hulk levels in 0-60 Ali: how are you this nice when you're 😷🤒🤕🤢🤮 Ali: that's a skill, rare one at that 💎✨ Carly: my da is looking green must of had his own 🎶🍻💃 ha Carly: idk i can b nicer? but k now i know ronan aint been talking bout me when hes 🍺 or 💊 Ali: can be a tea party for three Ali: have to bring his own 🎩 though Ali: not to me anyway Ali: but as you can tell Ali: 🐺 keeps all the 🐓🐓🐓 away Carly: 🐇🐇🐇♠️♣️♥️♦️🐇🐇🐇 Carly: she is fierce Ali: she likes to think so Ali: 🐶 really Carly: course ur not scared of her silly Carly: u love her Carly: im a 🐈 person ha Ali: [sends her a load of pictures of Bluebeard she didn't ask for rather than being like do I love her hmm] Carly: AW!!!! Carly: 🥰🤗 Ali: he's captain ☠🏴 but there's always room aboard Carly: thats the best offer ive had from a gentleman ever ever ever Carly: whats his name? Ali: Bluebeard Ali: and he is MOSTLY a gentleman if you can handle some toe nibbling Carly: 😍😍😍😍 Carly: into it Carly: ive done more for lads i just met who aint as beautiful so Ali: 😂 I feel that Ali: honestly, it's quite comforting, when he doesn't sneak attack you with it Carly: [sends her a selfie that shouldn't be as adorable as it is] Carly: now u can introduce us Carly: 👋 baby blue Ali: the 😍😍😍😍 are mutual Ali: I can tell Carly: yay Carly: 🧡 Ali: is there anything else you need/we want for the tea party? Ali: en-route at last Carly: ur really coming? Ali: yeah, sorry I was ages, it's a whole process brewing it Ali: also a dead giveaway you're 😷🤒🤕🤢🤮 which obvs my ma takes as her cue to be all Spanish inquisition about it Ali: 📚 of my mostly-fictional-but-which-are-and-which-aren't-mother exploits later Carly: sorry iou so much magic Ali: nah, don't worry about it 👸 Ali: who doesn't love a little scandal with their morning brew? she deffo does Carly: its too late im looking for 🍀 Carly: among the 🌼🌼🌼 Ali: awh Ali: I'm never turning down extra luck Ali: we can make daisy-chains Carly: its the dresscode Carly: soz da Ali: does he have a 🧔? Ali: that's a #look Carly: not rn Carly: my ma wasnt on @ me only to clean up Carly: he had his turn Ali: damn it Ali: maybe a nice belt Ali: I'll be 🤔 Carly: dont b 💔😢 he has bushy eyebrows Ali: same Ali: he's earnt his invite back Ali: your ma gonna have to chill though Ali: and it ain't that kinda tea 💔 Carly: you wont b able to tell if shes angry or surprised Ali: 😚 ⬅ I know the vibe Ali: you do you babe Carly: she used to let me sort em out but there was an accident Carly: which im sworn to secrecy about Ali: I'm so good with secrets 🙏🙏🙏 Carly: k Carly: my head zoned out but my hands kept going like Ali: you were meditating you can't help having 🌌🧠 Ali: I'll 🤭 now and never tell, don't worry Mrs W Carly: @ school yea im meditating on your q sir relax Carly: ha love that Ali: they just ask questions to answer it themselves, what is the point Carly: u coming for my ma again? Ali: 🤫 bad first impression, that Carly: shes heard it from ronan too sorry Carly: lad has loose lips Ali: honestly Ali: 🙄 can't keep up with my bad reputation Carly: ud think hed be better at kissing Carly: its talk talk talk Carly: more good things about u than ive made it seem like tho Ali: he was a big talker Ali: probably 'cos he ain't allowed with the lads Carly: if he talked about what a 👼 u are & how 💔😢 he is theyd uninvite him from the bonfire Carly: its sweet really how hung up hes got Ali: he only thinks I'm an 👼 'cos he took my virginity probs Ali: that's more suitable 🔥side chat Carly: he goes on about that alot but I thought he was lying Carly: oh no that sounds bad Carly: not calling u a slag ur obvs not its y he likes u more Ali: 😂 I'm fine with slag Ali: all definition dependent anyway Carly: yea same Carly: can be hot if ur in the mood Ali: right, and if I'm a slag 'cos I didn't marry him then I'll take it Carly: & hes not allowed to marry gorgers theyd wanna throw him in the 🔥 Ali: exactly Ali: we can't both be 💔😢 forever can we boy Carly: just me @ the party til u came to my rescue Ali: 🥺 Ali: What was he even on about then, like? Ali: dickhead Carly: idk i zone out wen he shouts @ me too Ali: I can always poison a cup and send it his way Ali: just say the word Carly: hes not that bad Ali: okay okay, just some laxatives Ali: 'cos he's a bit 💩 Carly: ha Ali: no 🌼🌼🌼 unless he says soz then Carly: but his beautiful curls 🥺 Ali: hmm, a good point Ali: be strong, baby Carly: ill throw one @ him & run away Carly: back to u Ali: you're so adorable Carly: says u Carly: 👼👸🏼 Ali: 💚 we're gonna have an adventure when the tea hits okay Ali: I've decided Carly: k thats the kinda 🎄🎅🤶🎁 it is Carly: i do want the energy of a kid on xmas morning Ali: that's the best Ali: how I'm tryna be every day Carly: 💫⭐️🌟✨⚡️☄️ 🚀🛸 Ali: if only 🚀 Ali: this bike can only go as fast as my lil legs can carry, like Carly: aw baby Carly: i shouldve asked u where u live before this 2nd rescue was launched Carly: im sorry Ali: No distance is too far for a fair maiden Carly: ill have to see what other 🔮 i can find before u get here Carly: dont love ious Ali: there's no ious Carly: [sending her loads of pics of her with or just pics of the cat lady's cats that she's rounding up for this tea party and they're adorable] Ali: 😍💞😻 Ali: okay, non-debt fully paid though Carly: [just rambling about the names she's given each cat cos her and cat lady don't know each other properly til Ali comes along and like facts about each cat/her fave things cos she's a big nerd] Ali: I love them Ali: I'm gonna get them some 🐟🐟🐟 when I get tea party tings Ali: some cream, awh, okay, this is happening Carly: im picking enough 🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼 for everyone Ali: should've put Bluebs in my basket Ali: next time Carly: aw Carly: Humbug might try & fight him Carly: youd b there to protect him tho Ali: I can ref Ali: my little brother is always trying to play-fight everyone so I'm well-versed Carly: is he ticklish? that works for me Carly: broken up lots of fights Ali: big time Ali: his kryptonite Ali: reckon it's against the rules in professional fights but preparing him for anything like any good big sister Carly: ha Carly: aw i bet ur an amazing sister Carly: if i had 1 maybe id wanna be on site sometimes Carly: my ma's eyebrows r hardly a call to home Ali: he might disagree but he's 5 so what does he know 😉 Ali: feel that though Ali: home is just a base, whole 🌍 out there Carly: wen ur 5 you argue to argue Carly: yea if u dont use ur wings theyll think u dont want em 💔😢 Ali: flying is like riding a 🚲 though Carly: r we goin on a 🚲 adventure? Ali: definitely Ali: ugh, need one of those wagons for the 😻😻😻s Carly: ☺️its gonna b so fun! Carly: we might meet more 🐈🐈🐈🐈 Ali: way better than 🐔 Carly: ha Carly: do u have 🔮 left to help me find shoes? Ali: have you checked the fridge? Carly: [a pause while she do] Carly: theyre not there 😕🧐 Ali: damn, that'd be the last place I'd look though Ali: were they in the mess your Ma was sounding off about fr Carly: o mayb Carly: if i was wearing any when you dropped me off Ali: 🤔 I don't know if I recall any glass slippers Ali: I'll ask Lene hold up Carly: 👸 energy Carly: but idk if i wanna scary 🐺 at my door Ali: turns out she's actually your 👵 Carly: ha my grandma is 💍 to god Carly: its not close to the energy shes putting out Ali: she'd probably tell your actual that God is a gay girl Ali: nah she's well 😇 around fam, just hide behind your Ma and me, baby, you'll be fine Carly: ha that wasn't in any of the kids bible stories she sent me every 🎄🎅🤶🎁 Carly: her god is 😠 than Humbug Carly: he likes to shout so i gotta zone out Carly: aw that's sweet ur ma loves her too? Ali: Hooray for Catholicism, yeah? 😏 Ali: she loves my Ma, more like Carly: we spend our sundays on our knees nana but its 🚽🤮 or u kno a bigger sin Carly: u do look like her i remember Ali: that's not QUITE 🚽🤮 levels but close 😂 Carly: nah its nice u have the same 👀💙✨ Carly: idk who i look like Carly: postman maybe Ali: now I don't know whether to 😳 or be 🤨 you like my Ma too Ali: you look like you and that's Ali: 💛 😍 😘 🥰 😚 👸 👼🏽 🐰 🌼 🌻 🌞 🍓 🍑 🍨 🍰 🍭 🍬 🎆 💜 Carly: yea 🤞🙏🌠 the postman isnt my da cuz hes a ride Carly: aw now youve got me 😳 Ali: rude, my postman is not Carly: 🚫💌 then baby Carly: ill text u instead Ali: so grumpy, don't stick your hand right into our house if you don't wanna get bitten, sir Ali: not by me, whatever Ronan has said Ali: though I'm well flattered I'm getting a text back Carly: ha its k its not that u use too much teeth Carly: & course ur my hero Carly: tho 🤞🙏🌠 wont b an sos every time Ali: good, can't have him putting you off with blatant lies Ali: it won't be if I do a better job at the heroics and get there before any bad shit can happen Carly: its k i like it Carly: helps me remember what i did Carly: 💔😢 no lads r spelling their names out in bruises for the who Carly: 🐇🐾🐇🐾🐇 Carly: nooo theres no better u could do Carly: ur flying to me faster than anyone has ever ever Ali: amateurs, like Ali: so rude, ain't they heard you're 👸 Ali: I'm basically there now, prepare for the best tea party you've ever been to Carly: aint wat theyve heard but idc Carly: yay 💙 i havent had 1 since me & my 🧸🧸🧸 Ali: I'll be 🎶🔊 it so get in the know lads Ali: awh, can I meet them too? Carly: not too 🔊 or ur gf will bite me which could b fun but im not trying to do u like 💔😢 Carly: some r shyer than others but if u work ur 🔮 how u did for me ull make friends Ali: fill your boots, babe, I don't reckon she's your type, like Ali: I'll be on my best behaviour 🤞 Ali: the loveliest guest you've ever had 🤞🤞 Carly: be fun though Carly: not boring Ali: 😲😲 Ali: Is that the impression I give off? Ali: or another Ronan tale, either way Ali: gonna have to prove otherwise now in the most extra ways imaginable Carly: nahhh Carly: he don't lie to me its his 1 saving grace Carly: its just like a pls Carly: to u & the universe Ali: I won't be boring Ali: trust me Carly: k Carly: i do ur a lifesaver Ali: nah Ali: just happy to help Carly: im happy we r mates Ali: me too Ali: idk why we weren't before, like Ali: too many people at school Carly: & i dont go much ha Ali: this is true Ali: lesser spotted walsh 🐦 Carly: oooh wat colours am i Ali: 💗💜💛🧡💗 Carly: cute Ali: very Carly: wats ur fave colour? Ali: It's a harder question than people reckon, that Ali: like, there's so many beautiful things of every colour Ali: if I can decide for the day, I feel like I'm doing a disservice to all the others Carly: sorry Carly: i havent decided on mine either Carly: when i was a lil kid it was 💛 for the 🌞 then wen i started goin out it was silver for wat i thought the 🌚 looked like Carly: but ive seen so many new colours since Ali: kids always know Ali: they're much smarter than adults about everything Carly: i bet ur lil bro is the smartest Carly: like u Ali: he likes red for 🚨❌🛑⛔️🚫💯‼️🥊🥤 Ali: and I see the appeal Carly: does he like 🍎? i kno somewhere that sells the reddest shiniest 1s Carly: or we cud just throw 🍅s Ali: he's at the anti-fruit stage Ali: but I reckon he could be convinced if we let him smother 'em in caramel and sprinkles Carly: its a date Ali: Me first

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crazed-rambling · 5 years

Text

Unconfirmed Conversations of the Werewolves of Lancaster

“Has everyone got their spare change of clothes in the cars?”

A chorus of grumbled agreements and head nods followed

“I know I know we all know but it’s my job to ask. Remember Jack?”

“-I was 15! It was 20 years ago man”

Gethin continued as though the indignant yell had not happened, this in itself was as much a part of the routine as anything else. “We don’t want another repeat of – Are those jeans Colin? What happened to your shorts?”

“They’re in the wash” A sigh.

“Well take them off and put them in the van”

“I’m not taking them off its like 3 degrees out”

“Enjoy the chafing.” That image is enough to have the older members of the group wincing, they’ve all made that mistake at least once. The 70s were a rough time between the denim and the leather.

It seems to be enough to convince Colin as he grimaces and sending one last look to the heavens praying for another option shucks off his jeans and begins his walk of shame through the trees towards the church car park. The chuckles die down quickly as people are soon distracted by their own preparations.

Only his companions continue to look back through the trees, waiting for their friend to reappear.

“Could he be any slower, my dissertation is due next week”

“And I want to be at the Netball social Nathan but unless you’ve listed your fursona as a co-author I don’t think you’re getting much done tonight” quipped the girl next to him, as she pulled her box braids out of her face using a scrunchie.

“Blocked”

“Piss off you meme loving fuck”

“Amanda! Noah and Adam are right there.” Shit. A glance to her right confirms that the alpha was right, there were in fact two six-year olds looking at her in a mix of horror and fascination. “Sorry James”

“Don’t worry about it they already heard me watching Game of Thrones, there’s no way around our hearing”

“Still let’s try and control our language while we’re here, no need to make James’ life any harder” ensuring he made clear eye contact with the main offenders before the reappearance of Colin clad only in striped boxers put an end to any attempts Gethin could make at being serious.

“Dad! Adam took the ipad!”

“You said I could have a go next”

Sure enough the moment they realised that the attention was no longer on them the twins began to fight. At this age they were more wolf than child, especially around full moons, they would fight over anything and everything, they’d mellow out soon…

“My turn wasn’t over”

“Was”

… hopefully.

He glanced to the balding man beside the two hellraisers, who mouthed “sorry” across the clearing, resignation in his eyes. Clearly this was not a new fight.

“What is the ipad doing here? Go put it in the car, before it gets broken” Two identical faces began to open their mouths in protest… “Now.” …and closed

He watched the two backs retreat for just long enough to ensure that they were doing as he said before turning to the teenage girl at his side, with thinly veiled frustration “Why did you let them bring the ipad?”

“I didn’t know they had it,”

“Why didn’t you ask?”

“I didn’t know I had to”

The longer they spoke the more defensive Lydia seemed to become, it felt like that’s all James did with his daughter these days was argue.

“I asked you to look after them Lydia!”

The last straw, and her round face began to contort; nose and mouth pushing forwards, remaining baby fat retreating, fangs bared as she snarled “And I’m not mum!”

Even as she said it her eyes widened as if she, as well as everyone who couldn’t help but eavesdrop, was taken aback by her outburst. At the reminder of what they’d lost both seemed to visibly deflate, her face transforming back into a mask of regret, she never meant to hurt her father.

“I’m sorry honey. I’m just. It’s.” They rarely seemed to speak of April these days, too scared of hurting the other, so when the time came, he could never seem to find the words. It would be easier not to say anything, to let things return to the status quo on their own; his daughter already seemed to regret yelling. It would be easier. But his daughter was in pain, her lips pressed flat and eyes staring resolutely ahead in the way she only did when she was trying to hold back tears.

“I’m sorry. I just miss your mum on transformation nights. It feels like she was able to do anything.”

“She was pretty awesome” a small smile, “I’ll keep an eye on Adam and Noah tonight.” An olive branch; not quite forgiveness but an understanding. This didn’t mean there wasn’t a long overdue conversation to be had when they got home. James felt a comforting presence at his shoulder as she watched her retreating back. It had been months but he still couldn’t shake her, sometimes it seemed all that she left behind was Lydia’s hair, and the twin’s eyes.

“She’s a good kid”

“I know, God knows she gets it from her mum”

“And you.” He wanted to say more, but it would have to wait as his attention was drawn to the moonlight shining from behind the clouds. It was almost time. As much as James needed his friend, everyone here needed an alpha and this was the night when Gethin couldn’t afford to play favourites.

“Everyone back? Yes. Good.” Few words were required after a transformation, no one was really listening. The only thing that mattered to anyone at this point was food and sleep, in that order. So after a perfunctory check that everyone was no worse for wear, beyond a couple of pairs of torn shorts, Gethin dismissed them and everyone began walking in the direction of the cars.

The church car park was always just a little too small, so people crowded around the cars as they changed into slightly less torn clothes, murmuring goodbyes and promises to see each other soon as they attempted to stay out of the way of cars as they manoeuvred out

Normally ride sharing would not be a great difficulty, but Gethin couldn’t help but feel like he’d somehow drawn the short straw with his group. Didn’t students own cars these days?

“Did we have to be a bible study group, if I have to bail out on a social for ‘Bible Study’ one more time just kill me ‘cause god knows my social life will already be dead”

“Do you have any other ideas for why a group of random people meet up once a month in the woods behind the church? Because I’m all ears.”

“Satanic cult? Family Reunion?”

“-Is it really a reunion if its once a month?”

“Amanda you’re black, I’m Chinese, and Colin is so white the moonlight would burn him if we weren’t so goddamn hairy. No one will believe we’re related.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s racist”

“No one cares Colin”

“Enough. We are a bible study group; we’ve been a bible study group for years and it has worked fine. Plus, it would be a little awkward if an actual bible study group decided to use the church hall while we’re out there, wouldn’t it? I don’t remember you complaining when you first came Amanda,”

“I was 13 and thought that this would be more Twilight and less leg hair”

“Get in, I’ll drop you guys off. Then if anything else happens I’m not alpha for the next 12 hours” He loved his pack, they just made it very hard sometimes.

“I’m not sure that’s how it works” One flat glance over his shoulder was all that was needed to communicate how little Gethin cared for the students bickering.

There were few words spoken until the three were left on the pavement besides M&S watching the van tear off into the distance. Once they were sure they were out of hearing range

“I don’t know how Arjun puts up with him.”

“He’s working the graveyard shift at St James, Gethin will be out by the time he gets back. But he leaves breakfast out and no one wants to make their own eggs after an eight hour shift.”

“That’s true love that is” says Colin putting on a performance of being deeply moved by their alpha’s attempts at romance, before the rest of his brain caught up with the connotations of what she’d just said “Wait how do you know all this? Gethin tells me nothing!”

“Me and Arjun have a doctors group chat”

“You’re not a doctor yet Amanda”

“But I am suffering so….” she shrugged as though the others were meant to understand how these two concepts related.

“We’re all suffering!”

“Piss off Colin freshers don’t know shit about suffering”

“I’ve got coursework too you know”

“Awww….are you handies hurting from too much colourwing”

“Geology not geography!”

Nathan stared longingly in the direction they last saw the van; it was too soon after a transformation for this. If he didn’t intervene soon these two would be at each other’s throats, and knowing them they wouldn’t stop until the police broke them up or they finally dealt with their sexual tension; right here, outside M&S. But either way a trip police station would be inevitable.

“I’m starved, when does ‘spoons open?” Food possibly the only thing which could distract a pissed off werewolf, transformations were one hell of a work out. Sure enough Colin was fishing his phone out of his pockets. Mission Distraction: Success.

“Shit we got another two hours. Kings might be open?”

“Hell no last time I had one of their kebabs I spent the next day puking my guts up”

“Are you sure that wasn’t the tequila shots?”

“Piss off Colin” Mission Distraction: Success Failure.

“I should have gone with James and them lot I bet you they have food at home”

“Is that you volunteering to sit between two six year olds who haven’t slept in 24 hours, because Edith will be thrilled.” ….Maybe it was better to be their third wheel, the twins were a handful even at the best of times, but exhausted and hungry children are always worse.

“She loves the twins. She says they remind her of when her grandkids were their age” Better to bail out before someone takes him seriously, even Edith, sweet, sweet Edith would take any sign of weakness as an opportunity to switch rides.

“No one loves the twins on transformation night Nathan.”

“Soooo…. Maccies?”

An agreement seemingly reached the three turn and begin walking, just another group of students in search of junk food after a long night.

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solarsystem69 · 4 years

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Hi 😊 for the system asks how about 🤫: Any Funny System Stories? 🥰: Any Wholesome System Stories? 🎨: Any Hobbies That Everyone In The System Enjoys? - c (The Union)

(Some of this is text convos i’ve had with ex-best mates and some is nsfw cuz funny stories for us generally are rude in nature lol nothing too explicit just weird flirting really)

we used to make lissie and max dance together and lissie is like "hes an arse but i like to dance so okay" and max is like "fuck off" he dances with her anyway. so like yeah. then we are listening to music and we're like "Dance with lissie" and hes like "no" and so lissie is like "just go back to your lonely tower then, you downer" and hes like "Fine, i will. I will go.. all alone... to my bedroom" like thats hmmm. so once hes gone, lilly is like "Thats an open invitation to you to come to his room to bone" and lissie is like "lol no... wait... is it??" and doll face is like "oh definitely " and so we send lissie off to find out whether it was in invitation to bone or not. and in our front room we have screens. a main one for the outerworld and some other ones for different rooms in the inner world castle. and so i tap the screen cuz its a little sketchy to use. but anyway, lissie had been upstairs for a while so were worried he killed her but we see what went on. Lissie went to his room and knocked on the door and he answers. and hes like "I thought you told me to go away." and shes like "Yeah but i didnt think you would and then lilly said you gave me an invitation to join you and bone so.. i just..." and hes like "You came to take me up on my offer to bone?" smirk and shes like "Ugh no. you're an arse and youre rude and obnoxious" and hes like "Oh please go on, im very flattered rn" and shes like "it wasnt a compliment. ugh i hate you." and he like " actually you dont. you like me " and shes like "what no ew" and hes like "You do. i can see it and i understand why. They are all the same downstairs and im not like them" and shes like "Woah, dont you dare say they. they are all individuals" and hes like "Yes. but theyve all got strong morals and good hearts. and youre bored. so you like me" and shes like "ill kick your ass okay. those things are good things to have. youre a jerk" and by now shes like gradually moved closer to be 'intimidating'? and hes like "oh really?" smirkyness and shes like "Yea. youre just so mean and arrogant and you are such a bad person, you need to be--" and hes like "Say it, baby. i dare you." and shes like "..Punished.." and then bam hes practically throwing her on the bed and like ......... so thats when i turned that screen off. so like hilarious in hindsight but at the time. shooketh.

Doll face and lilly integrated (merged into 1 chick) which makes sense because doll face is too emotionally stable but impulsive and lilly is too emotionally unstable but logical. they didnt choose it and it is fairly easy now. or easier. doll face (loved them so much but ) was wayyy too impulsive. always making decisions for the worse but were fun which would have been fine if they actually cared but they didnt. thats okay. they were young. and lilly was lonely and needed to care a little less about her past. and idk. but its deffo for the better. yeah they were family basically anyway so i think shes really happy about it tho sometimes they do look in a mirror like "Wow. now ive got no dick and some small tits". i mean lmao. she really does focus on the small boobs thing. and we're like "they are average 🙂 " and shes like "No. easy for u to say tit-anosaurus rex"

Also, Nate almost called one of our ex-best mates mum’s a milf.

(ugh going through old messages to mates to see if i can find more funny stories ad accidentally came across trauma ewwww miss me with that shit)

Wholesome... hmmm. we have plenty of sorta funny, interesting stories. Oh actually yes. I know. Okay, so i sorta just am always stalking around the inner world so i see almost everything. But this starts in our front room (like our fronting room but our living room, its genius ik) we were listening to music (or Nate was) and Fox decided to come dance in the fronting room to the bops and me and Lilly saw them dancing very saucily together 😏 ya know. So we laughed and left. So we're listening to music on the way home and Lilly, Fox and Nate are in the room. And its all chill and then Nate starts flirting with Fox and Fox is all blushing and looking down like "Idk what to do rn" and Lilly and I are laughing and then Fox slightly reciprocated (as a joke probably...) And now Nate jas him basically pinned against a wall. Not physically just like with his intense eye contact. 😂 its hilarious. Lilly is threatening to go get Lissie because she was like "You two dicks aren't going near each other." And Nates like "What gives you the right to declare where my cock goes?" 😂 like wow. And Lilly was like "Oh I'm just going to go get Lissie then" and Nate was like "No no. Don't do that." Cuz Lissie really has the right 😂😂. Nate asked Fox to kiss him and Fox said "No..." 😂 savage but then you make my balls so blue from heathers came on and I'm dead. Fox: Sorry. Its not you. I just can't.. Nate: Okay. You don't have to. Lilly and me: *Sad eye contact cuz we know why Fox doesn't want to kiss anyone* Fox: *Kisses Nate on the cheek* Nate: *Blushes adorably- breaking his bad ass persona* Nate: you know not all sexual stuff involves kissing. Uh. If you don't want it to. Fox: *giggles quietly like a lil twink* I don't want any sex though. As pretty as you are, I just don't want that. Nate: *is absolutely crushed* Yeah. Okay. But I need some cock so imma head out and try to gain some pride. Lilly: I've not built the village in this innerworld yet so.. Idk where you're heading out to. Nate: *sighs so deeply* I'll be in my room then. Stay out. Fox: Sorry. I didn't mean to egg him on at first only to deny him. I just thought it would be fun and then I thought even if it did lead to sex then it wouldn't matter because I don't mind and then I remembered that I did mind and I don't want that. Lilly: *hugs Fox* that's alright. He'll get over it. He's tried it on with all of us atleast once and we're all women. I would've saved Fox from Nate only He didn't look like he wanted to be saved. at this point in time, our innerworld was still being built by lilly so we all were sleeping in one room, with the littles. and i witnessed the sweetest thing. So I was doing the final checks to make sure everyone was in bed and since Nate doesn't want to sleep with the Littles anymore (they can be slightly irritating) I had to go find his room. He's in a tower room. Its not got a bed and it's freezing but hey no loud children. And as I'm about to turn the corner I see Fox knocking on his door after clearly being there for a while debating whether or not to because Nate told us to stay out. Quickly Nate opens the door and immediately as he sees fox, puts his hand on Fox's arm gently (how sweet. Hes not usually gentle) and Fox is all: I'm sorry. I just couldn't kiss you. Just recently with the bad things and the kissing involved in the bad thing. And Nates all: its okay. I shouldn't have put pressure on you like that. I'm so sorry. I understand. And he's hugging him. Like and kissing his head and hes like "Is that alright?" And fox is like "Yeah. Its nice." And squeezes the hug tighter. So sweet honestly. And then Nates like "I know I'm really sexual and that makes you uncomfortable a lot but you know I would never want you to do anything you didn't want to." And fox is all like "I'm just so scared that I'm never going to be able to kiss anyone ever again because I can't get over that time and I really want to forget it." And Nates hugging him really tight and cuz he's taller, he can rest his chin on Fox's head. And im still watching cuz I'm weird and entranced by these confessions. And then Nates like "Do you want to come in?" And Fox is like "No Littles tonight?" And Nates smiling nicely and is like "No I get nightmares and I don't wanna wake them up. And theyre annoying as heck." And fox is like "I know what you mean. Yeah I'll come in." And Nate leads Fox in by his hips gently. *fox and lissie talking bout feelings* Lissie: what's wrong, my sweet? Who hurt you? Fox: *Wiping tears away* no one really. I'm fine. I don't even know why I'm crying. Lissie: Its okay to be sad sometimes. Fox: I'm not sad. I'm nothing. Just numbness. Lissie: that's worse than being sad. Tell me, sweetie. What happened. Fox: I asked Nate to be my boyfriend. I mean, I was kissing him and I didn't get any flashbacks even when I was overthinking and remembering. Nothing and it was so relieving. And I asked him. And he said he had to go for a walk. Lissie: Oh darling. It'll be okay. He loves you. Fox: Does he now? sigh I just love him so much. I love him more than you approve of. I love him so much I don't know what to do. But in not what he needs. He wants physical love and even so, he cant handle commitment. And I know that you don't want us together so you'll get your wish but I need him. Ive never been so relaxed and happy. Lissie: That's true. I've never seen you so happy as recently. I'm glad Nate could bring that to you but I don't approve, no. But if you're going to be together, I will support it. I will encourage happiness, that's a promise I can keep. I'm not disapproving to make it impossible for you to be together, in only disapproving so you have to prove to me that you two can make it. If you two make each other happy, I will be there for you no matter what. Fox: Thank you..... They spoke more but I didn't listen. After strictly avoiding Nate for three days, Fox finally has the courage to face up to him. As the group exit the cozy dining room, Fox weakly holds on to Nate's elbow. Obeying, Nate stares at the ground, clenching his jaw. "I'll start, I suppose." Fox forces out, false confidence strengthening the statement. "I-I'm really sorry that I asked you out. Of course, you wouldn't say yes. That's fine. Completely fine. And I'm really sorry that I made you uncomfortable with me. I really do like you though. Like love really. And even though you don't feel the same... I can't just be your friend. We can keep trying but it will just make us both miserable. We're just lucky the others are giving us time to figure it out instead of just getting rid of us for being dramatic." Fox rants, getting out of breath and manic toward the end. "I have never heard you say so many words. Are you okay?" Nate smiles charmingly, concerned. "No." Fox answers honestly, a tremble in his voice. Suddenly, Fox is embraced by warm, strong arms. Wriggling further into Nate's warmth, Fox breathes in the boyish scent of Nate. All sharp and smooth. The arms tighten around Fox's shoulders. "I love you too. You know this. I'm sorry that I've been... Not great recently. I just thought we could both use some space. The village... It's the next thing to be built. But I-I don't just want it there for sex. I wouldn't do that to you. I just like the people they're interesting and good friends. You're the one I want. They're nothing compared to the beautiful complexities of you. I hope you'll accept my request to be your boyfriend." Nate excruciatingly slowly spills his soul, hands rubbing the back of Fox's neck how he likes it. Fox freezes, slowly pulling away after a few moments. "You... I'm sorry, what?" Fox whispers, teary eyed. "Please let me be your boyfriend. I'll beg on my knees, I swear. I'm so sorry. I've never been so lonely as I've been without you. Please come back to me." Nate practically sobs, hands reaching up to cover his face. "You actually want to be my boyfriend? What? No... That can't be right... Right? What?" Fox, ever the articulate bean, mutters, completely confused and shocked. "Yes. I want to be your boyfriend. I won't have sex with anyone and I won't hug or touch anyone else I swear. I miss you so much. I hate everyone else so much. I need you." Nate falls to his knees, taking Fox's hand in his and pressed his lips to the soft skin as he rambles, tears falling down his face. "You absolute idiot. You moron. You complete fool." Fox sighs, rambling random tiny insults, before falling to his knees and taking Nate's face in his hands. "I'm so totally in love with you." Fox mumbles, pressing his forehead to Nate's. a couple weeks later: they sang a love song together. 😩 I literally cried. Nate on his guitar and Fox singing. Ive never seen him so relaxed and happy. Ahhh. I wanna cry I'm so excited. 😂😂😂 these boys will be the death of me. theyre both the biggest drama queens and they so gay.

im so sorry that was so long but their relationship created so much drama between us bc we didnt know if it would work out and theyre the most wholesome boys, except nate but well he has his moments. softest boiis uwu.

Everyone in the system likes to sing and play games and read. Fox mainly likes to write and stuff but Evan is also knows for her nice stories on wattpad lmao. We arent very active, so we dont do much sport but we do like badminton and we used to do a running club. Evan likes baking, where it stressed me tf out. i cant even crack an egg right. only Evan draws really. Our main hobbies are minecraft, eating unhealthy foods and sleeping :)

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cowgirlontheloose · 4 years

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Searching for God

In the beginning

One late winter day when a melting sun spread like butter across the snowy field behind our house, my Mum, my little brother and I had a picnic lunch on the back veranda. Our cat, Queenie, came too, twitching her plume of a tail, her eyes ablaze with stirrings of spring.

We sat on a tartan blanket spread on the wooden deck. Dad had shovelled the veranda all winter and the green canvas awning would not be put up till May, so on that early March day, it was a sunny haven.

Mum lay back on her elbows and tilted her movie star sunglasses to the sky and sighed and said “I feel like a new woman!” Although I was only six I knew what she meant. It had been a long winter of dark days, of Dad away in Montreal or Chicago or Vancouver, of flu, colds and chicken pox and frequent visits from Dr. Church — Mum hovering in the background — with his stethoscope and big belly.

I still remember a bath infused with something to soothe my painful pox, and how tenderly Mum wrapped me in a towel afterwards. Years later when I saw an image of Botticelli’s The Birth of Venus, I felt again the sensation of rising naked, streaming and itch-free from the water as my mother’s towelled arms reached for me. I don’t know why Botticelli took me back to that bath, or which one of us was Venus. It wasn’t till I had decades more of life under my belt that I understood we both were.

But on that sunny winter day we nibbled ham sandwiches on white Wonder Bread and drank hot cocoa from a thermos. Icicles dripped and splatted from the eaves. We unbuttoned our wooly coats and listened to the happiness of chickadees and crows.

Suddenly and with great conviction, I took my little brother’s face in my hands and said “Why Doodle-bug, you look just like God!” From my mother’s reaction I knew I had said something noteworthy, but I didn’t know what and could not explain myself further. My small freckled brother only squinted into the sun with half a sandwich drooping from his mitt.

In the middle

For most of my 40s I volunteered for three, four-hour shifts a month at the Ottawa City Distress Centre. People called for all sorts of reasons beyond depression or suicide. I loved waiting for the phone to ring while I sipped tea and peered from the centre’s fifth story window at the beings striding or shuffling along below. Perhaps I had talked on this very phone with one of them. Or so I liked to think.

I was good on the phones. For the first time ever, I found I could truly connect with people. For one thing, I had to sincerely listen instead of, in my usual manner, wait for a chance to cut in and flap my gums. There were no visual cues to cloud my judgement. No clothes, accessories, hairdos or mannerisms to make me jump to unhelpful conclusions. All I had to go on was a voice and a mysterious conduit that ran between us through wires, various switches, terminals and space.

A woman named Alice called several times a week. Her warm voice gurgled like brook water into my ear. In our many talks I never discovered much about her situation. I imagined she was in care somewhere, either with relatives or in a home.

When Alice called, I could relax. Sometimes I put my feet up on the desk and tilted back the chair, settling in for something sweet. Depending on the day and who knows what else in Alice’s rich life, she claimed she was either pregnant with, or had recently given birth to, the baby Jesus. Although this was 100 per cent unlikely, I rejoiced with her at this thrilling news. She certainly never sounded distressed which made me happy for her. Perhaps she called because her family or caregivers were tired of hearing about Baby Jesus.

My most unforgettable call was not from Alice, however, but from a manic depressive man who planned to kill himself. He was not suicidal at the time, so there was no point in tracking his call and keeping him talking until police banged at his door. Nonetheless, he had a plan and was committed to it. His voice was reasoned, intelligent and also conveyed what I can only describe as certainty.

His family had stood by him through years of hell. When he wasn’t weeping, he was on spending sprees: once a race horse named Galveston Gal, although he knew nothing about the racing world; another time a stone mansion on 20 acres with tennis courts, a pool and three car garage.

“I know they love me,” he said. “I know they will cry a lot. But time will take care of all that. My wife will remarry and my kids will grow up in a sane home.” By then I was listening so hard that my forehead was on the desk and my eyes shut so nothing could get in the way.

I said very little. I think he was grateful for that. I hope I said I love you, but I can’t be sure I did. It was a long time ago.

Belonging

On a Buddhist retreat a few years ago, our teacher told us to spend as much time outdoors as possible. Each of us carried a magnifying glass and, besides being silent for the two week duration, we were instructed to examine everything.

“Feel your deep belongingness with all life,” he said. “We are family. We are woven on the looms of each other’s lives.” So out we all went, dispersing into the 300 acres of leafy woods, eager to be at one with the universe. Mostly I was relieved I didn’t have to endure endless sits in the meditation hall, waiting for the gong to sound and feeling like a failed Buddhist. Roaming forests, fields and waters, especially on my own, was my favourite thing to do.

I peered at moss, sand, fungi, petals, pine cones, webs, galls and gelatinous bird poops. The underside of leaves often held specks of mystery — possibly eggs or some minute creature perhaps waiting for an insect’s version of Godot.

Our teacher had set up an old Nikon microscope at the back of the hall. It was impressively heavy, and sat under a plastic cape, within a wooden box. This we could use for “deeper looks” as he put it, waggling his eyebrows encouragingly.

I had never used a microscope and my first zoom in on the carcass of a house fly caused me to holler “Holy Fuck!” which alarmed several steadfast meditators. The fly was on its back and had a hole in its desiccated stomach. I felt I was gazing into an echoing cavern beyond space and time. Where the hell was I exactly? Then I realized that a weensie spider — certainly invisible to the naked eye — was living in that cavern. There it lurked with minuscule glittering eyes in its dead fly home, doing whatever it had to do to keep itself alive and the world turning. I sat back with one hand clamped over my mouth. This was too much.

For the rest of the retreat, I was glued to that Nikon. I continued to see worlds within worlds within universes. In my one-on-one sessions with our teacher I babbled on about my discoveries. The way he listened, looked at me, made me want to weep and sometimes I did. I knew he was used to it. One day I was raving about looking at the yellow centre of some daisy-like wildflower and discovering it was made up of tubes. Then I saw that tiny white creatures lived inside the tubes. They bustled in and out from tube to tube obviously with much on their tiny minds. My teacher’s smiled and said “…and if we could look even deeper, no doubt we’d find smaller creatures living in or on those creatures — and so on and so on.”

For years as a journalist, I had been writing about the importance of biodiversity and how everything is interconnected. But really, what the hell did I know? It took a microscope and a dead fly for me to begin to understand what our teacher kept patiently pointing us towards. In his words: “Looking deeply into our current situation, we can see that this place and this time are actually vast mysteries of creative collaboration that ultimately involve all places and times.”

#spirituality #personal growth #memoir #Buddhist;#searching #god #biodiversity

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winryofresembool · 6 years

Text

Edwin/dad!Ed one-shot: Girl Issues

Summary: Ed’s son Alan has been disappearing a lot from their house, and Ed tries to figure out why.

A/N: finally! This took like a million years. I hope you guys will still enjoy it :) Please let me know what you think!! (bing @automail-freak-and-alchemy-freak)

Edit: I forgot to say there might be a small “easter egg” hidden in the fic, about a movie some Edwin people have been talking about lately :’)

Words: 2450

Warnings: swearing

”Hey, Ed?” Winry addressed her husband who was cleaning the kitchen after the dinner. “Do you think Alan has been acting weirdly lately? He’s been doing… less mechanic work and gone out to town way more often…”

“He has?” Ed stopped putting the plates into the cupboard and turned to look at his wife, raising his eyebrows. “To me he has told that he’s simply taking some extra art lessons with Mr. Dawson because drawing blueprints has never been his strength.”

Winry crossed her arms over her chest and looked just as surprised as he did. “And to me he’s told he’s helping out some friends who have trouble with school… Something doesn’t add up.”

“Hmm. It’s not like him to hide things from us. I think I will call Mr. Dawson tonight and ask him if he’s really been at his house,” Ed decided. The conversation ended at that point because a loud crash could be heard from the living room, and Winry rushed to check what the twins had broken this time.

Only half an hour later, Ed, who was observing Emma’s alkahestry studies upstairs, heard the front door opening and closing. That let him know Alan had just left the building. He waited 10 more minutes, just in case Alan indeed went to the Dawsons, before dialing their phone number.

“Mr. Dawson? Hello! I’m calling you because my son seems to have been spending a lot of time there lately. Is he there right now?”

“No. And he hasn’t been here for the past two or three weeks, so I wouldn’t call that ‘a lot’,” a grumpy voice answered.

Ed narrowed his eyes at that piece of information, but he didn’t want to make Mr. Dawson too suspicious so he didn’t reveal the real reason of his call.

“Oh, OK. Well, thank you, anyway. And if he shows up, could you tell him to come home as soon as possible? Winry has a commission to finish and the twins are currently trying to kill me, so extra hands would certainly be useful.” The part about the twins was obviously a lie, as they were sitting surprisingly quietly in the living room listening to their father’s phone call, but the dramatic wording would probably get Alan home more easily. That is, if he ever got the message.

Winry glanced at Ed curiously when he finished the call.

“So? Did you find out anything?”

Ed shrugged. “Only that Alan hasn’t visited Mr. Dawson for several weeks. I thought he was enjoying his classes!”

“I thought so too,” Winry said, getting more and more confused.

“Did you talk to any of his friends?” Ed asked then.

“I just saw Jack, that boy from his class, down the street, and he said that if Alan had been helping someone, he certainly wasn’t among them. But you know, to me it sounded like he was hiding something from me.”

“Great,” Ed sighed. “So he’s been lying to both of us. What do we do about this?”

“I guess we should get him to talk. But how do we do it? He’s got your blood in him, you know.” Winry threw Ed a sly look that Ed had seen quite many times during their years of marriage.

“And what is that supposed to mean?” Ed pretended to be hurt by Winry’s implications.

“Just that you have never been very good at expressing yourself, honey.” Ed snorted, because Winry and he had never been ones for pet names. “But also, since he’s more like you than you probably realize, you should be able to figure out the best way to make him open up. Was there anything that managed to crack your shell open when you were a teenager?”

Ed leaned his jaw against his hand, seeming to consider Winry’s question. His face seemed to have gotten some extra color when he spoke.

“Well, after the Promised Day… There was this girl who had been my friend since forever… She had even built me an automail leg and arm, so I could function… I knew she was upset because I couldn’t tell her what was happening in my life, but after the Promised day, when I felt it was safe to tell her everything… it was easier than I thought. Why? Because she made me feel she cared.”

“Ed… that’s very sweet of you…,” Winry said, completely surprised by her husband’s words and blushing slightly. She let her hand linger on his shoulder for a moment before continuing: “Anyway, I guess that means you should show that you do care about his wellbeing. I mean, deep down he must know that already, but you know, sometimes it’s good to say it aloud. He’s in a difficult age, but I know he really respects you and values your opinions.”

“I hope so,” Ed grunted, not quite believing her.

Until that moment, the twins who had been listening the whole time hadn’t said anything, but suddenly the 4-year-old Henry blurted: “We heard brother talking with big sissy today! He told her to ‘dis… tract you’, whatever that means, while someone comes to get him with a motorbike!”

“Really?” Winry asked, her eyebrows raising probably higher than the twins had ever seen. “Those two are almost as bad as… oh, never mind,” she added quickly when she saw the twins staring at her intensely.

“So that’s why Emma was so eager to show me what she had learned with Mei… She’s usually not that enthusiastic about it,” Ed noted.

“Makes perfect sense. Hey, my little king and queen,*” Winry ruffled her kids’ hair, “you didn’t happen to hear where they were planning to go?”

“No, mum,” the twins said in unison. “But I bet Emma knows!”

“We’ll just have to ask her, then.”

“No, dad, I’m not gonna tell you where Alan is. One, because I don’t know it either since they change their meeting place regularly, and two, because it’s none of your business.”

Emma took a book from her bedside table and pretended to be interested in it instead of looking at her father’s stare. Even though it didn’t work quite as well against her as it once used to, she still felt slightly bad about hiding things from him. Alan was right, though, their parents were too curious for their own good.

“Fine, then. Can you at least tell me with whom he is?”

Emma was positive her father would use what he liked to call “Elric telepathy” on her if she didn’t talk, so she let a little huff from her mouth and said:

“He’s gonna murder me, but… you would find out eventually if they continue doing this. You’re not gonna like this, dad…”

“Emma, just tell me already.” Ed was starting to show signs of losing his patience. Even though he had calmed down after having his children, the old temper still raised its head when he was truly annoyed or frustrated.

“Remember how Mei’s niece from Xing came to visit her and Al a couple of months ago because she wanted to learn more about Amestris and alchemy?” Emma asked, trying to be nonchalant but failing at it.

“Yes, wasn’t she Ling’s daughter?” Ed asked, not understanding why Emma had started talking about her. “Didn’t she have all those guards behind her all the time because she’s the daughter of the Emperor?”

“You are right, she was… Well, what you probably don’t know is that she decided to stay here in Amestris. She’s been trying to keep a low profile because she doesn’t want the media to follow her.”

“OK, but what does this have to do with Alan? I don’t get… OH!” The pieces of the puzzle started finally clicking in Ed’s head, and Emma could see his face taking a more and more dark red shade as he processed the information. “Are you telling me… my son… is seeing… that bastard’s heir?!”

“I told you, you wouldn’t like it.” Emma shrugged. “I thought you and the Emperor were friends, though? Doesn’t he always send you presents on holidays and stuff?”

“Damn right he does,” Ed suddenly stopped caring that he was talking to his daughter, “but that’s only because I once had to pay for a hell of a lot of food for him. He owes me.”

“Whatever you say…” Emma rolled her eyes. “Listen, please don’t be too hard on Alan. From what I’ve seen, they genuinely enjoy each other’s company, and Zhi is a nice person.”

“Fine. But I’m still gonna talk with him.” Under his breath, he mumbled: “what if they decide to get married? What if my son becomes a prince? What if…”

“Um, dad, I don’t know what you had in your mind when you were 15 but I really don’t think they are thinking about marriage yet,” Emma said, amused by her father’s exaggerated reaction.

“When I was 15, I was trying to save our entire country from Homunculi so it was a bit different!”

“Based on your stories, you were only trying to save Uncle Al, dad, and everything else just happened by accident.”

“That… might be true, but you shouldn’t say it aloud, Emma,” Ed gave her a fake hurt look. “I still punched the god on his face!”

“Whatever, dad.” She took her book again and hid her face behind it. “Just… could you go now so I can continue reading in peace? I have a test tomorrow I need to study for.”

“Would you like me to help?”

“Just go, please!”

Ed and Winry had already put the twins into bed when Alan showed up at home again. Winry remained calm on the surface even though Ed knew she must have been sizzling underneath her cool cover. She had always hated it when he and Al had hidden something from her and now, they were talking about their 15-year-old son… Ed guessed that it was normal teenagers acted that way, but that didn’t mean he liked it. He suggested Winry go to check on the rest of the kids while he’d deal with Alan.

“Alan, can we talk?” Ed asked, barely able to contain his annoyance. Alan looked like he sensed his parents had found out something, the guilty expression Winry had seen on Ed so many times giving him away.

“Now? Dad, I’m hungry as fuck, haven’t eaten anything since lunch so can I at least grab a bite first?”

“What’s with that language, young man?” Ed asked disapprovingly.

“Please, like you weren’t the one who taught me that word…” That was the truth, but Ed wasn’t going to let him get away so easily.

“I’ve always told you to not do what I do, not the other way around…”

“Right… Well, since you clearly aren’t allowing me to eat, you might as well get into the topic.” Alan crossed his arms just like his mother had a little bit earlier. That amused Ed a bit.

“We can always talk about it in the kitchen,” Ed noted, a small smile spreading on his face.

“So… what was it you wanted to talk about?” Alan asked when he had a full bowl of stew in front of him.

Ed looked serious again. “I think you know. Don’t think we haven’t noticed your disappearances lately.”

“But I’ve been…”

“We know you haven’t been where you were supposed to be. I talked to Mr. Dawson today and he told me you haven’t visited him for several weeks.”

“I’ve…”

“Listen, the sooner you admit it, the better. Do you want me to know the real story or the vague one Emma told me?”

“She told you about Zhi? Damnit, I’m never telling her anything again.”

“I think you are missing the point there, son.”

“Fine,” Alan finally admitted, as he was lapping the stew into his mouth. “Yes, I’ve been hanging out with Mei’s niece… who also happens to be the Xingese Emperor’s daughter.”

“And…?”

“And what? What are you expecting me to tell you? That she’s pregnant? That we are about to announce our engagement any day now? That I’ve decided to move to Xing and leave my family behind forever?”

“None of those things are true, right?” Ed raised his eyebrow suspiciously.

“Of course they aren’t! I like her, and we have a lot of fun when we are hanging out… But I do realize that she’s a princess from another country. And she knows the realities too. She’s gonna have to go back eventually. And when she does, she is in the constant focus of her people. That is not something I’ve ever imagined going through, but why does it have to mean I’m not allowed to enjoy this moment? I knew you guys would react badly to this, that’s why I didn’t tell anything.”

“Now we finally got to the root of the problem,” Ed said. “I don’t mind you hanging out with this Zhi girl… the princess… whatever… But I am upset that you have been lying to us for a long while now.”

Alan couldn’t help but roll his eyes in annoyance. “Like you’ve never had any secrets yourself…”

“I admit that when I was your age, I hid a lot of things from your mother, because I wanted to keep her safe… But I regretted it a lot. I could see she hated it, and it made me upset too. After the Promised Day, I was so relieved because I could finally share everything. I think it made our relationship stronger too.” Ed sighed before adding: “I’m not good at these things, but what I’m trying to say is that please don’t hide things from us just because you think we might not like what you are wanting to tell us. We are here to support you.”

“Dad, thanks… And sorry… for not telling you.” “No problem, son. I’m just saying what I wish my father had once told me.”

“Oh…” Alan hadn’t heard his father talking about his father a lot. He had just always assumed they had had a bad relationship. And this proved he had been right.

“So, now that we have dealt with that…,” Ed spoke suddenly, “about this Zhi girl… how far have you gone with her? Do I need to have the talk with you?”

“Dad, stop being so embarrassing!” Alan screamed and jumped off his chair. “I’m not gonna talk about that with you! Uncle Al or even the Emperor of Xing would give better advice than you!”

“Hey, take that back!” Ed growled, but Alan had already run away from the kitchen, and he was left to fume with anger on his own.

*Names Erika and Henry both mean rulers and I have a headcanon that the twins indeed are the rulers of the Rockbell-Elric household even though they are all a pretty strong willed bunch.

#edwin #edward elric #winry rockbell #my fics #fullmetal alchemist #woop #ps. ignore the typos thank

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rami-writes-blog · 5 years

Text

I’ve loved you for so long - Fem Reader x Rami Malek

Storyline: You’ve been the closest friends every sinds you were in diapers, so for about 14. Rami is the sweetest man on earth by being there for you after the worst moment of your life. You come to find out that you’re not the only one who sees your best friend as something more than that. (I need me a man like Rami in my life smh)

wordcount: Approx. 2,2 k

Warning: : None,

-------------------------------

I’m changing into my PJ’s when my phone let’s me know I receive a text:

,,Hi Honey. Are you excited for tomorrow’s game? You’re going to crush it and we’ll go celebrate your championship afterwards. I’ll be there for the kickoff honey. You’re my little champion, whatever the outcome is. I love you very very much.

Goodnight, Dad’’

I smiled.

,,Very nervous. Thank you dad, sleep tight. Love you xxx’’

,,IF YOU’RE NOT HERE IN 2 SECONDS I’M STARTING WITHOUT YOU’’ I quickly put on my shirt as I ran over to his room, jumping on his bed. He smiled and handed me the second controller ,,Ready?’’ ,,I don’t know. Are you? I mean. You’re the one that’s getting his ass kicked in a few moments’’ I laughed.

He just bought FIFA 18 and just like every FIFA he every bought, I come over the same night so we can play the first match(es) together. It’s like our thing. We played another one, another one and another one. Before we know it was 2 am.

,,Ok we really need to go to bed now, tomorrow’s your big match’’. We go to the bathroom to brush our teeth and tuck ourselves in. He always gives me his bed when I stay over and I’m glad I could convince him to put a matrass next to his bed for him to sleep. I hate it when he has to sleep on the couch for me. We chat some more about tomorrow’s game and then fall asleep.

I wake up far before my alarm goes off. I’m too excited to sleep. When I roll over I see him sleeping still. He looks so peaceful. He’s sleeping on his back and the blankets only cover the bottom of his body.. I stare at him for like 5 minutes or so. Looking at him, sleeping like that, makes me blush.

I’m feeling this way for a while not but I’m too scared to tell him. We’ve been friends ever since we were 4, so for like 14 years now and we’ve always been like brother and sister so I’m afraid that’s how he sees me and always will.

I decide to get up before waking him up. I’m wearing his t-shirt since I practically ALWAYS forget my stuff. Besides, it’s an excuse to borrow his clothing that always smells like him.

I put in my headphones and make breakfast. Nothing too fancy, just bacon, eggs and some bread. I set the table as I sip my coffee, singing softly along with the music. I’m almost done when I turn around and he’s standing behind me, leaning against the kitchen counter. He smiles. I blush. This man is an Egyptian God. He’s bare feet and doesn’t wear anything except for his PJ-pants that hang loose on his hips, showing a bit of his shorts. Get it together Y/N.

,,You’re early’’ he says. ,,I made us breakfast’’ I say with excitement. I hand him the coffee I just made and we sit down to eat our breakfast in peace. He cleans up as I get dressed and within half an hour we’re both ready. ,,Ready to kick some ass?’’ He asks as he closes the front door behind him. He comes with me, like he does every game. I text my dad to see if he’s up. Nothing yet. Well, the game doesn’t start for 1,5 hours anyway, so he still has some time left.

As I come out of the locker room before the game begins, I look around to look if I see my dad. He always wishes me luck.. But he’s still not here. I see Rami though. He’s smoking a cigarette and smiles at me as soon as he sees me ,,YOU’RE GOING TO KILL IT’’. He yells.

Y/B/F looks at you: ,,girl when are you finally telling him?”’ ,,Tell him what?” I nervously respond ,,Y/N .. EVERYONE sees it. You two are clearly both to stubborn to go first’’. I blush and wave at Rami , ,,YOU BET’’.

---

The game’s over. It was rough but we made it. We won. I scored a goal in the 60th minute and it was the first and last goal. I was proud as hell because I made the winning one and at the very moment the ref blew his whistle everyone came running down to me, making one big pile of girls.

When I finally was on my feet again, I saw Rami with hands held high yelling before he comes running towards me. ,,CONGRATS’’ He cheerful said as he lifted me up, swirling me around. He was so proud!

He put me down and I let the girls know ,,ok girls let’s take a quick shower and afterwards we let the champagne flow freely’’

As I came into the lockerroom I grabbed my phone. I hoped dad had called me or texted me. But nothing. *Ping*.. My mum texts.

,,Honey I hope you won and I think you’ll be done by now. Please come home as soon as possible.. It’s very urgent’’. A shiver went down my spine as I grabbed my bag..

,,Y/N Where are you going? You’re not leaving unless you’re drunk’’ everyone starts singing and screaming.. ,,My mum texted me it’s really urgent.. I really need to get home’’ Y/B/F walks up to you, you want me to come with? ,,No, it’s ok I’ll let you know what it was’’. She hugged me. ,,I love you’’. ,,love you too’’ I said before leaving.

As I walk outside Rami’s surprised to see me.. ,,Done already? You didn’t do a good job because you still smell like sweaty feet’’ he jokes. ,,We need to go home. Now’’ I tell him as I walk towards the car already. ,,What happened’’? He’s serious now.. ,,I don’t know. Mum wants me home asap, she says it’s urgent’’.

We both rush to the car and as he drives away he puts his hand on my knee. ,,Hey don’t worry.. Whatever it is.. It’s ok I’ll be here for you’’. We’re home within 10 minutes and I see cars in our driveway. I barge in and see my mum in tears. My aunt, uncle and her best friend beside her.

,,honey.. ‘’ She stands up and walks towards me.. her arms hovering over mine. Tears streaming down her face.. ,,Honey your dad passed away last night’’.. My mouth just. My jaw dropped.. ,,LAST NIGHT?’’ I grab my phone as I read his text. ,,He knew’’.. Tears came streaming down my face as I ran upstairs. I fell down on my knees at his side and melted down when I saw his sheets still messy.

,,I COULDN’T EVEN SAY GOODBYE’’ I yelled while crying, barely getting air. Rami came quietly walking in and closed the door behind him. he says nothing. He sits down next to me and wraps his arms tight around me and I think we sit there for almost an hour before I calm down.. He hugs me, kissing my hair, sushing me. ,,It’s ok. I’m here’’. As I try to catch my breath he lets go. He wipes away my tears and helps me get up to go downstairs. I hug mum. We don’t need to say anything. We feel each others pain. We talk over some things before she asks me if I would mind that she goes away for a while after the funeral, staying with her sister.. ,,It’s only a half an hour drive away so if I need her I’ll be here in a heartbeat’’.. She already had arranged with Jude, Rami’s mum, I could stay with them untill she came back. They are the only people she trusts, plus Rami and I get along, so.. ,,I just.. I need time to grieve, away from here for a while’’. I was kind of angry and upset she left but she took care of dad for months, until his last breath. ,,Of course mum, take all the time you need’’ Rami was with me the days leading to his funeral. Trying to take my mind off of things.. We went to his house sometimes and sometimes mine. Sometimes I wanted to be alone.

The day of the funeral was really hard on me. When I came home I already packed my bags so I went upstairs and took them. Before going downstairs I walked into my dads room. I caressed his sheets. ,,I love you dad’’ I turned around and as I closed the door behind me Rami grabbed my hand and looked at me. ,,Hey, we can come back here anytime you want okay?’’ I nodded, he took one bag off of me and we walked to his house. it was late in the evening so I pretty much dropped my bags in his room and sat on his bed.. ,,We’ll unpack tomorrow’’ he said. I agree. ,,I’m just taking a quick shower and call it a night’’ tell him. After I’m done I walk into his room with only my undies and a towel around my chest. He’s standing there in his shorts. We both had this ‘awkward’ moment.. I se him blushing too.. ,,you mind if I take one of your shirts?’’ I asked him. He smiled.. Of course not. ,,Mi casa es tu casa’’ he says smiling.

God damn I love it when he speaks Spanish. I know it’s a really weird timing but.. It really turns me on, but I know he doesn’t see me like that so I just shake it off. ,,Turn around’’ I order him. He puts his hands before his eyes instead. ,,OKAY BUT NO PEEKING’’ I say while holding my finger up to warn him. I saw him smiling ,,I promise’’. I turn around with my back towards him to be sure and as I let my towel drop I swear I can feel his eyes on me so I turn my head around. ,,YOU ARE PEEKING’’. I quickly get into my shirt and I tackle him. I start tickling him because I know it’s his one weak spot. ,,STOP. STOP. PLEASE STOP’’ he shouts with tears in his eyes from laughter. He starts wrestle his way out of the position he’s in, resulting us both falling off his bed. Luckily I fell on top of him and thanked him for it. ,,thanks for breaking my fall’’ I thankfully say to him as I sit back on to the edge of his bed. He rolls his eyes at me. He sits on his knees before me.

,,Okay miss. Enough games. Time for bed now’’ He wants to walk away to grab his matress but I grab his hand. ,,Will you please stay with me tonight’’ I ask him with the biggest puppy-eyes. ,,I always stay with you’’ He narrows his eyes.. ,,No next to me.. not in the same room with me. I don’t want to be alone tonight’’. I get in his bed first and raise the sheets for him to crawl next to me. ,,fine’’ he says. In an automatic respose I crawl towards him. Burying my head in his chest. I can feel his heartbeat going faster as I touch him. A electric shock goes through my body and I bet he feels it too. God he smells so good, I think to myself while sniffing him too loud. ,,One million by Paco Robanne’’ he confirms without me even saying anything.. He strokes my hair a few times before laying his head on his pillow, putting his hand on his pillow. Our faces being only inches away from each other ,,You’’ I say while our eyes lock.

We’ve had sleepover for years and when we were younger, also in the same bed. But this was different. I could feel it and I’m pretty sure he could too. I could hear his breathing getting heavier and I saw him frowning his eyebrows like he always does when he’s thinking about something.. We stayed like that for a few seconds, both convincing ourselves that we shouldn’t be doing this. But it was too long. We fought this for too long. We both felt it and we knew it

I reached for his face with my arm, cupping his cheeck with my hand. Making eye contact one last time, while his lips were hovering over mine, his eyes asking for permission, before I close my eyes and our lips touch.

I’ve wanted to do this for so long and it sets my soul on fire. I wanted more but we both know it’s not a wise thing to do after a day like today. So as he pulls back, laying his head on the pillow again he wraps his arms around me, hugging me tight ,,I’ve loved you for so long’’, he says as he kisses my forehead.

It may have started as the shittiest day of my life, but for the last half our or so of it, I forgot all of it.. Because of him. I lay one hand on his hip, the other one under his chin and buried myself in his hug. ,,I love you’’ I mumble in total happiness and fall asleep.

-----

Hey guys, enjoy my 2nd story. I wanted to put some GIF’s in them but Tumblr doesn’t cope. If you have any request, feedback or anything just send me a message! X

#rami malek rami malek imagine rami malek imagines rami malek x reader rami malek x fem reader reader x rami malek rami malek fanfic #rami malek #rami malek imagine #rami malek imagines #rami malek x reader #rami malek x fem reader #fem reader x rami malek #reader x rami malek #rami malek fanfic

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aidanchaser · 5 years

Text

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets: Everyone Lives AU

Table of Contents beta’d by @ageofzero

Chapter Four At Flourish and Blotts

It was a birthday present Sirius would have greatly approved of, and, in turn, literally no other adult would have been impressed. A trip in a flying Ford Anglia was something Harry would have never thought to ask for, but he couldn’t have imagined a more perfect gift to go with a couple night’s stay at the Burrow.

Harry had ridden in cars before, and he’d even flown on Sirius’s motorbike once. This was entirely different, and maybe that was because it was only them. Only him and Ron and Fred and George. It made it feel more dangerous, and more exciting.

Maybe Sirius was a bad influence on him.

After a few hours soaring in and out of clouds, laughing and eating some sweets Fred and George had saved for the trip, they touched down just outside the Burrow as the sun was rising, and Fred and George quietly pushed the car into the garage.

They were still whispering excitedly — ”That cow looked terrified” and “Shh, we can’t wake Mum” — but their whispers carried well on open fields.

Just as Fred and George were climbing the porch steps the door flew open. All four boys froze.

Molly Weasley stood in the doorway, hands on her hips, face bright red. Fred and George shrank back two steps which had the inadvertent effect of Molly Weasley towering over her sons, even though she was shorter than each of them when on level ground.

“Beds empty!” she shrieked. “No note! Car gone — could have crashed — out of my mind with worry — did you care? — never, as long as I’ve lived — you wait until your father gets home, we never had trouble like this from Bill or Charlie or Percy —”

“Perfect Percy,” muttered Fred.

“YOU COULD DO WITH TAKING A LEAF OUT OF PERCY’S BOOK!” Mrs. Weasley prodded a finger against Fred’s chest. “You could have died, you could have been seen, you could have lost your father his job —”

“We had an invisibility booster,” George said.

“That’s hardly the point!” Mrs. Weasley put her hands on her hips and looked past the twins to Ron and Harry. Both ducked their heads and struggled to meet her furious gaze. “And you two! I’d think you had more sense than this! I’ve half a mind to write your mother and have her take you straight home!”

“No, Mum, please don’t,” Ron said. “It was Fred and George’s idea — their birthday present for him. It’s not Harry’s fault.”

“You have a working mouth! You can say no! You don’t have to be roped into everything your brothers do! All of you, inside. I want that kitchen spotless by the time Ginny and Percy come down for breakfast.”

Harry filed in behind Ron, quiet and subdued. But as he dried the dishes Ron scrubbed, they exchanged a conspiratorial grin. Fred and George shared the same smile while they scrubbed down the stove. Getting into trouble wasn’t fun, but being in trouble with friends had a sort of thrill to it.

Yeah, Sirius was definitely a bad influence on him.

The kitchen was spotless when breakfast was served. Harry had learned a good deal about cleaning without a wand thanks to his mother, and Fred and George were practically experts at it. Ron said it was because Mrs. Weasley had them doing chores whenever they got into trouble, which happened to be a lot.

The four of them yawned their way through breakfast, but when Fred said, “We’ll go down to the clearing so we can fly without being seen,” Harry perked right up. Flying in a car was great, but flying a broom was far better.

“You will not,” Mrs. Weasley said sharply.

“But Mum,” said George, “we promised Harry we’d practice Quidditch with him. Wood’ll kill us if we’re not in top form when we get back to school.”

“You should’ve thought of that before you took the car out.”

“We cleaned the kitchen,” Ron pleaded. “We already got in trouble, so it’s fine now, right?”

“Not by a sight! You four won’t be going anywhere until your father gets home and decides what to do with you.”

Harry swallowed his eggs. “So — you won’t be writing my mum?”

“I haven’t decided.”

The boys were on their best behavior all afternoon. Fred and George refrained from teasing Percy for an entire four hours. Ron and Harry started on their summer homework, very obviously in the living room, where Molly could see them. They were so quiet, Ginny appeared and sat down in the armchair near them, but she didn’t say anything. Harry thought of several things he could say to her, but she kept looking away whenever he tried to talk at her, so he ended up not saying anything at all.

Mrs. Weasley called them to lunch, and just as they were sitting down, Mr. Weasley came in. He was as tired as he had been the day before. He picked at his sandwich for a moment, then looked wearily around the table. If he was confused by his sons’ — and Harry’s — guilty faces, he did not show it. “Molly, dear,” he called into the kitchen. “Do we have any tea?”

Mrs. Weasley stood in the doorway between the kitchen and dining room, holding Mr. Weasley’s cup of tea. But it seemed like she was holding it hostage instead of serving it.

“Is something wrong?” Mr. Weasley asked.

“Would you like to know what your sons did last night?” she said.

Mr. Weasley looked at Fred, then George, then Ron, then Percy, then Ginny, then Harry. “It seems like Percy slept quite well, at least. Was Ron’s room not too comfortable, Harry?”

��Fine, sir,” Harry said.

“Your sons didn’t sleep last night because they were too busy flying your illegally enchanted car in the dead of night.” Mrs. Weasley was red-faced with fury again. Harry was sure she was going to write to his parents and he’d be on his way home before he finished his sandwich.

Mr. Arthur looked startled by this news, and then smiled at Fred and George. “How did it go? Did the Invisibility Booster function properly? I was a bit worried —” He looked suddenly at Molly and ducked his head down. “I mean, that was very wrong boys, very wrong indeed….”

Molly looked ready to launch into another tirade, this time directed at Arthur. Harry, Ron, Fred, and George took the opportunity to slip away and grab their brooms.

“Should we invite Ginny or Percy?” Harry asked as they went out the back door.

“Percy’s too busy being a prefect,” George muttered.

Fred glanced over his shoulder. “And I’m not fighting with Mum about Ginny today.”

“Mum thinks it’s too dangerous for Ginny to fly,” Ron explained. “She wouldn’t do it at all, except Uncle Fabian and Uncle Gideon bought her a broom one year and told her it was all fine. Mum still doesn’t like it, though.”

They walked up the hill to the Weasley’s paddock, marked off by the trees around it. The trees provided a good cover, allowing them to fly without worrying about being seen by Muggles. Fred and George tossed apples in place of Quaffles and Bludgers. Harry let them all try out his broom, a Nimbus 2000, and they all agreed it was by far the best. The time flew by, and they played until it was too dark to see. They hadn’t even realized the sun was set until Harry’s glasses were knocked off by an apple, and it took them fifteen minutes to find them on the ground.

Harry and Ron fell asleep right after dinner and didn’t wake up until almost ten the next morning, which made him mad. He felt like he’d slept away almost all of his last day at the Weasley’s.

Mrs. Weasley gave him and Ron a small breakfast, and told them James would be coming to pick Harry up after lunch.

Harry and Ron sadly packed Harry’s things back into his school bag.

“I still hope she doesn’t tell Mum and Dad about the car,” Harry said.

“At least we got some homework done,” Ron said. “They can’t be mad about that.”

After lunch, when Ron and Harry were tossing small crackers that sparked and popped off the balcony, they heard a crack on the front porch, accompanied by James’s loud greeting. They crept downstairs to listen. They only had to get halfway down the stairs to hear Molly shouting the story at James.

“And I thought Mum was the only one who could talk to him like that,” said Harry.

Ron laughed into his hand.

They went down one more flight to hear James’s calmer response: “But the boys are alright then? No one got hurt, and no one saw them?”

They heard Mrs. Weasley splutter. “No. They’re fine. But they could have —”

“I’ll scold Harry appropriately,” James said. “It was a dangerous thing to do. I’m just glad they’re okay.”

Harry and Ron decided it was safe to go into the kitchen.

James gave Harry a tight hug, asked if he had fun, and thanked Molly for her hospitality. Harry said goodbye to Ron, and Fred and George came to say their goodbyes as well. Percy and Ginny were nowhere to be seen.

Once on the front porch, Harry begged James not to tell Lily. James agreed with a faint smile. “I think I owe you one secret, since you still haven’t mentioned that Christmas gift I gave you last year. And I know how tempting something like a flying car can be, but promise me you won’t ever do something like that again. It was very dangerous.”

Harry nodded vigorously. “Yes, yes of course.”

When they returned home, Harry told his mother about de-gnoming the garden and playing Quidditch and how much fun he had with Ron and asked if Ron and Fred and George could come over sometime soon. Lily and James said there wasn’t much summer left, but they would see about having the Weasleys over for Christmas again.

A letter from Hermione arrived a few days later, telling Harry she was going to Diagon Alley that Wednesday, and he should join her if he could, and Ron might be coming as well. Lily and James said that would not be possible, because they had a meeting with Dumbledore on Wednesday.

“But it won’t be nearly as fun if I don’t go with them,” Harry begged. “I can go by myself and meet them there. Her parents will be there.” James and Lily did not think that Hermione’s Muggle parents were suitable chaperones for three rambunctious wizards in Diagon Alley. “And if Ron goes, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley will be there.” But James and Lily thought Mr. and Mrs. Weasley had their hands full with five children, including one who was getting ready for her very first year at Hogwarts. “But what if Sirius takes me?” James and Lily hesitated, and finally agreed that Sirius was a suitable chaperone only if Uncle Remus went too. And Harry was to be on his best behavior, because it would be only a day before a full moon, and he was not to wear Remus out. Harry promised to be perfect as a Puffskein.

So on Wednesday, Sirius arrived to take Harry to Diagon Alley via Floo Network, and Uncle Remus was to meet them there.

As soon as Sirius and Harry were in Diagon Alley, away from Lily, Harry told him all about the flying car ride.

“Don’t know how I’ll top a present like that,” Sirius laughed, “but I’ll see what I can do.”

“Where are we going?” Harry asked as Sirius led him down a side street. “And where is Uncle Remus?”

Sirius checked the Muggle watch on his wrist. “Remus should be meeting us at Gringotts in about… thirty minutes. I’m taking you to get your birthday present.”

Harry was just thinking that he had never been down this side of Diagon Alley before when he realized it wasn’t Diagon Alley at all. The sign said “Knockturn Alley” and it seemed every shop they passed was devoted to the Dark Arts. Sirius led Harry into a small shop with candles in the windows, placed dangerously close to stacks of loose parchment.

The shop owner was a hunched-over old woman, with a gnarled face a toothy smile. “Ah, Mr. Black. I’ve been expecting you.” She said this ominously, but Sirius only laughed.

“I made an appointment,” he whispered to Harry.

The old woman disappeared into the back of the store, and came back with a very old leather-bound book. It was tied shut with a strip of leather wrapped around it multiple times, and some of the pages stuck out unevenly around the edges.

“What is it?” Harry asked as he took it from the old woman.

“Last year I started cleaning out my parents’ house.” Sirius made a face at the mention of his family home as he paid the woman for the book. “I was low on money, so I started looking for things to sell. This book was one of the things I got rid of. But then I saw your Defense Against the Dark Arts spell book list, and I knew I had to get you something better.” Sirius led Harry out of the shop. “It’s a collection of notes and letters from my family that span centuries. Normally, I wouldn’t be a fan, but I bet you there’s some good hexes in there, and I figured you could make some use of them. You’ll learn better things in there than in any of Gilderoy Lockhart’s books.” Sirius said Lockhart’s name with an unusual distaste to it.

“Dad likes Lockhart’s books,” Harry said, but he clutched the book Sirius had given him tightly. It was sort of exciting to be given something so old.

Sirius snorted. “Your dad likes anything that sounds like an adventure, but it doesn’t make the books good. Just ask your Mum. She hates them as much as I do.”

Harry froze suddenly and grabbed the sleeve of Sirius’s cloak. “Sirius,” he hissed. “That’s Draco Malfoy.”

It was indeed Draco Malfoy and a man who looked like a grown-up version of Draco with long hair walking into a shop called Borgin and Burkes

Sirius gripped Harry’s hand tightly. “Best not to mention to your Mum and Dad we were here. Not actually a place for decent wizards.”

Harry already knew Draco Malfoy wasn’t much of a decent wizard, and it reaffirmed his suspicions about Dobby’s warning having been only a prank. As they walked, Harry told Sirius all about Dobby and how he was sure it was Draco Malfoy who’d arranged it.

“Your parents mentioned something about that,” Sirius said. “Sounds like a pretty Malfoy thing to do, if you ask me.”

Sirius and Harry made their way to Gringotts, where Remus was waiting on the front steps, chatting politely with two people Harry didn’t recognize. Then he saw Hermione come out from behind them.

“Harry!” she said excitedly, and bounded down the steps. They hugged tightly and she said, “Ron’s inside with his parents. We just finished exchanging our money for wizarding money. Have you finished your homework yet? I’ve done so much of it already. Of course there will be even more to do once we get our books.”

Remus introduced Sirius to Hermione’s parents, and then the Weasleys came out of the bank. Mr. Weasley insisted on taking Hermione’s parents for a drink at Hogsmeade. He had so many questions about Muggle life, and Sirius was interested in going as well.

Remus looked over at Ron, Hermione, and Harry warily. “James and Lily asked us to keep an eye on him.”

“He’ll be fine,” Sirius said, “besides, you look like you need a cup.”

Remus did look rather pale, and Harry felt a little bad about having asked him to come, just so he could shop with his friends.

“We’ll be alright,” Harry said to Uncle Remus. “You can sit with them and rest. Hermione will keep us out of trouble.”

Remus smiled faintly and agreed. He told them very sternly to stay together, and be back at Flourish and Blotts in exactly an hour.

They promised, and Sirius gave Harry the bag of Galleons that James and Lily had set aside for Harry’s school things.

Harry bought his friends some snacks, and they browsed Quidditch supplies for Ron and Harry. They found Lee Jordan in a joke shop with Fred and George, and Hermione dragged them into an old bookstore for parchment and new quills, where they found Percy.

An hour later, and a few sickles lighter, everyone regrouped at Flourish and Blotts. Except Flourish and Blotts was surprisingly crowded — the door was packed with witches — and Harry had no idea how they would find Remus and Sirius in this mess.

“Oh,” Hermione said and pointed at the shop window. “Gilderoy Lockhart is doing a book signing! I mean, he’s wrote half the list of our books. That’s so exciting.”

Harry and Ron were less impressed as they elbowed their way into the bookstore. They made their way to the front of the crowd just in time to see Gilderoy Lockhart — a wizard with a charming smile, wavy blonde hair, a robe that matched his eyes and hat perfectly — emerge from the back. His sparkling blue eyes landed on Harry Potter and he quickly grabbed him from the throng of people. “Harry Potter!” he said excitedly. He grabbed Harry’s hand, nodded to a camera. Before Harry was well aware of what was happening, a bright light flashed in his face and a stack of books was dropped into Harry’s arms.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” Lockhart said loudly, then smiled again for another camera flash, “what an extraordinary moment for me to make a little announcement I’ve been sitting on for some time! When young Harry stepped into Flourish and Blotts today, he only wanted to buy my autobiography — which I shall be happy to present him with, free of charge — He had no idea that he would shortly be getting much, much more than my book, Magical Me. He and his schoolmates will, in fact, be getting the real magical me. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I have great pleasure and pride in announcing that this September, I will be taking up the post of Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry!”

There was an applause and another flash from a camera, and Harry quickly slipped away. The first person he bumped into was Ginny, and he dumped his books into her cauldron. “Here, have these. I’ll get my own.”

“Bet you loved that, didn’t you, Potter?”

Harry knew that voice without looking. He’d hoped to avoid Draco Malfoy today — Diagon Alley was such a big place — but they would be in all the same stores getting all the same school supplies. It didn’t make him any less frustrated with Draco’s stupid sneer.

“Famous Harry Potter. Can’t even go into a bookshop without making the front page.”

“Leave him alone, he didn’t want all that!” Ginny said suddenly. Harry realized he hadn’t heard her speak at all since his birthday party last year.

“Potter, you’ve got yourself a girlfriend,” Malfoy cooed.

Harry shrugged his shoulders. “She’s a farsight better than having Crabbe on my arm all day, or worse, clinging to my dad’s arm all day.”

Malfoy scowled at Harry and Harry saw Ginny turn scarlet beside him.

Ron came over and looked at Malfoy like an especially lengthy Potions assignment. “Oh, it’s you. Bet you’re surprised to see Harry here, eh?”

“Not as surprised as I am to see you in a shop, Weasley. I suppose your parents will go hungry for a month to pay for all those.”

Now Ron was as red as his sister and Harry felt ready to punch Draco in the face. He probably would have if Hermione hadn’t grabbed him with one arm and Ron with the other.

Sirius was such a bad influence on him.

“Ron!” Mr. Weasley shouted. He was wading through the crowd towards him, Fred and George on his heels. “What are you doing? It’s too crowded in here, let’s go outside.”

Then Harry saw Remus approaching him as well and knew it was not the place for a fight. He unclenched his fist, but continued glaring Malfoy down.

“Well, well, well — Arthur Weasley.” This was Draco’s father, who suddenly walked over and put his hand on Draco’s shoulder. Their sneers were as identical as Fred and George, except if one had taken an aging potion first. “Ah, and little Remus Lupin.”

Harry did not think of Uncle Remus as very little. In fact, Remus was taller than Lucius Malfoy. He wondered how much older than Remus Draco’s father was.

“Malfoy.” Remus inclined his head lightly. But then he looked around quickly, a bit of fear on his face, and Harry wasn’t sure why.

“How do you do, Lucius?” Mr. Weasley asked, but his tone did not say he cared much for the answer.

“Quite well,” Lucius Malfoy said. “I hear you’re having a busy time of it at the Ministry. All those raids… I hope they’re paying you overtime?” He pulled a battered Transfiguration text from Ginny’s cauldron. “Obviously not. Dear me, what’s the use of being a disgrace to the name of wizard if they don’t even pay you well for it?”

Mr. Weasley went as red as his children, and Harry wondered if Mr. Weasley was about to punch Mr. Malfoy. Harry didn’t see any reason to stop him.

Then he saw Sirius and the Grangers coming over, and Uncle Remus went pale — well, paler. Remus shook his head slightly at Sirius, but Sirius pushed his way over anyway.

“We have a very different idea of what disgraces the name of wizard, Malfoy,” Mr. Weasley said.

“Clearly.” Lucius Malfoy took stock of the group, and Harry noticed he gave Sirius a particularly sour look, almost as bad as the one he gave Mr. and Mrs. Granger. “The company you keep, Weasley… and I thought your family could sink no lower —”

Ginny’s cauldron went flying. Mr. Weasley jumped at Mr. Malfoy only moments before Sirius did. Ginny’s books tumbled everywhere, and a bookcase shuddered with the force of three adult wizards colliding with it, and more books came toppling out. Remus desperately tried to pull at least one of them out of it. Fred and George cheered. Mrs. Weasley was suddenly there and shrieking at Arthur. The bookkeeper came over and tried to help Remus, but he was thin and Remus looked ill and they were no match for the combined strength of Sirius, Mr. Weasley, and Mr. Malfoy.

Then Hagrid appeared, pushing his way through the crowd. “Alrigh’ break it up, there, gents break it up,” he said loudly. He grabbed Sirius with one large hand and Mr. Weasley with the other. He kept his hand on Sirius, let Mr. Weasley fall into Mrs. Weasley’s arms, and then pulled Mr. Malfoy up. Sirius had a bruise on his temple and Mr. Weasley had a cut lip. Mr. Malfoy looked winded; he adjusted his hair with one hand. With the other he shoved Ginny’s Transfiguration book back into her cauldron.

“Take your book,” he said darkly. “It’s the best your father can give you.”

Sirius lunged at Malfoy again, but Hagrid had a firm grip on his shoulder. Malfoy left as Remus got in front of Sirius and put a gentle hand on Sirius’s chest.

Hagrid and Remus led — or really, forced — Sirius out of the shop and Harry followed.

“Yeh know better than that,” Hagrid said to Sirius. “Brawlin’ like yeh were a firs’ year again.” He shook his great big head and clapped his hand on Sirius’s shoulder. “Be a better man than Malfoy, eh?”

“I’m a much better man than Lucius Malfoy,” Sirius said darkly. Harry thought Sirius was angry enough to go after Lucius Malfoy even still.

Mrs. Weasley was scolding Mr. Weasley in much the same way she’d scolded him about the car. “And what sort of example are you setting —”

“Dad was great,” George protested.

“Malfoy deserved it,” Fred agreed.

“Mr. Malfoy,” Remus corrected, but his voice was faint. This was the only thing that seemed to startle Sirius out of his anger.

“Sorry, mate,” Sirius said. He clenched and unclenched his fist. “Let’s get you home and get your —” he paused, looking for the right word, “— your tea.”

Remus smiled wanly at him and then at Harry. “Did you get everything you needed, then?”

Harry looked over his school list. “Um, mostly, I think. I can come back with Mum and Dad later.” Remus did look awfully tired.

“Why don’t you just finish up and I’ll take Uncle Remus to the Leaky Cauldron. You can meet us there,” Sirius suggested.

“Sirius, no,” Remus protested.

“I’ll take ‘em,” Hagrid said. “They’ll be fine with me,” he promised.

Ron and Hermione eagerly latched onto this idea. Mrs. Weasley agreed and took Mr. Weasley and the Grangers back to the Leaky Cauldron where she could see to any of Mr. Weasley’s injuries. The twins tagged along with Hagrid and invited Ginny, but Ginny decided to stay with her parents and Percy. Harry didn’t blame her. He couldn’t have imagined if all this had happened to him his first year at Diagon Alley.

#harry potter and the chamber of secrets #harry potter #hp everyone lives #hp fic #hp

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todays-jeremy-heere · 6 years

Text

Recap Post

So I’ve had a couple requests for what the fuck has happened so far from newer people to our dandy set of blogs, here it is! Keep in mind this is all mostly improv so if it’s a bit all over the place then oops lol rip. (Older people and other today blogs, feel free to yell at me if I miss anything.)

NOW INCLUDING LINKS TO CERTAIN IMPORTANT THREADS

The three not main characters in the bmc group are:

Madeline, Thalia (George’s character from Smartphone Hour), and Dustin Kropp

Let’s start at the beginning, a very good place to start :)

So the first activity of these blogs is nothing special, just silly conversations, teasing each other, and because no one is together yet, flirting. But eventually, people pair up so those people are...

Brooke x Rich, Michael x Jake and Dustin x Jeremy

Thalia asks Jeremy and Mr Heere if she can move into their house because she has an abusive father she wants to get away from, they say yes and now she lives with them. Sometime after this Thalia pairs up with Madeline.

Jake and Chloe keep having childish arguments because they are both still salty about thier past relationships. Jake brings up how Chloe sexually assaulted Jeremy at the Halloween party last year. Tension happens between Chloe and Jeremy where they both think the other hates them.

After a bit Thalia and Madeline break up, this causes Thalia to spiral and she gets a Squip. She is very clearly not ok and whenever anyone tries to reason with her she says she doesn’t need help because she’s perfect. Then, of course, it goes wrong because it always does and she starts threatening to murder Jeremy, whenever Dustin tries to scare her off she does the same to him. There’s a massive completely improvised fight scene at Jeremy’s house (we were all freaking out on the mod discord lol), in which Chloe gets a concussion, Rich nearly gets murdered and Thalia tries to force feed Jeremy Mountain Dew Green...

When everyone wakes up the next day you have some cute shipping junk between some of the couples since their SO was nearly killed. Chloe and Jeremy realise they both don’t hate each other because they actually TALK TO EACH OTHER TO FIGURE SHIT OUT.

Meanwhile, Chloe and Madeline have clear romantic chemistry and everyone can see it but them, they ‘fake’ flirt and go on ‘fake’ dates while saying ‘I cAn’T POsSibLY sEE HoW ShE cOUld LIkE mE’. It’s cute, we all love it.

But it goes wrong when Chloe says that Madeline should keep some distance from her because she’s scared of whatever’s going on between them and that obviously hurts Madeline because they have become really close friends since the blogs started. Madeline spirals like Thalia did and gets a squip, but this time only Chloe is there to help her. Dustin was going to help but Jeremy keeps saying that he can’t go and he’s scared and he doesn’t want ‘this’ so being a good boyfriend, Dustin tries to help him. Jeremy just tells him there’s nothing wrong and Dustin should go help, Chloe. Dustin doesn’t like being left in the dark so he goes (unhappily) but he doesn't get there in time to help Chloe (I SWEAR THIS IS IMPORTANT LATER, https://todays-jeremy-heere.tumblr.com/post/179026525980/jeremy-whats-going-on-why-are-people-saying-i). So Chloe and Madeline have a fight scene and Squip!Madeline loses. (https://todays-chloe-valentine.tumblr.com/post/179030653474/listen-up-you-tic-tac-bitch-chloe)

When Maddie is in the hospital with her you get some really cute lesbian time with Chloe talking to a sleeping Madeline and what not its cute. https://todays-chloe-valentine.tumblr.com/post/179068636659/14102018

Eventually, the two of them (FINALLY) get together <3

Meanwhile, Jeremy’s mental state is getting obviously worse (posts with crossed out text, talking to ‘himself’, stuttering more, ect ect.) but whenever anyone tries to see what’s wrong he gets very defensive to the point of being kinda rude.

Dustin tries to get him to open up one final time, Jeremy says some stuff he shouldn’t have and Dustin breaks up with him, https://todays-jeremy-heere.tumblr.com/post/179194061640/101818 (Note, Dustin was completely justified and not an asshole, Jeremy was hurting both of them. https://todays-dustin-kropp.tumblr.com/post/179194994713/seriously) This sends both of them into a bad place where Dustin is pretty empty and Jeremy is panicky and defensive (and it's very obvious his squip has reactivated, https://todays-jeremy-heere.tumblr.com/post/179216021025/this-is-your-fault-n-no-he-deserves-better-than ).

Chloe and Dustin are good friends so she and him help each other out with their shit its sweet.

Whenever people try to help Jeremy he lashes out and gets very defensive. It’s very obvious at this point that during the fight with Thalia he was squipped, he talks to himself and flinches at nothing, but whenever anyone accuses him of that he adamantly denies it. He refuses to drink mountain dew red.

Chloe tries to talk to him but he yells at her and when she calls him out he starts stuttering an apology and she goes ‘Jesus stop stuttering like that.' This is the wrong thing to say to someone who spent almost a year of their life shocked whenever the speech impediment that they cannot control showed itself. Jeremy gets fucking pissed, obviously. (https://todays-jeremy-heere.tumblr.com/post/179285070845/hey-uh-ive-checked-up-on-dustin-but-how)

Madeline sends him a ‘not so friendly suggestion’ to not shout at her girlfriend. When Jeremy says how she commented on his stuttering Madeline mocks him with a fake stutter and is no help whatsoever. She says she’s sorry that they care enough to ask him what’s wrong. Jeremy has asked multiple times that they treat him like they usually do, even when he’s going through a bad time because he wants one constant thing so he says ‘If you cared about me you’d leave me alone.’ (https://todays-madeline-monroe.tumblr.com/post/179286238797/hey-unfriendly-demand-dont-fucking-yell-at-my)

Jeremy gets worse, anons try giving him an intervention, doesn't work. Chloe tries apologizing but she accidentally makes Jeremy have a mental breakdown which is always fun.

Meanwhile, Thalia finds out that a guy from her English and PE classes got her pregnant. Her mum also died, Chloe is very supportive to her and lends her a dress for the funeral. She generally isn’t having a very good time right now but everyone she knows is being so nice to her and she’s very grateful. (https://todays-thalia-mcarthy.tumblr.com/post/179404119923/hey-i-need-to-borrow-a-dress-for-my-mothers)

In preparation for Jake’s party, Dustin lets Jake know that he’s allergic to red food dye so that it isn’t in any of the food and Dustin doesn’t need to go to the HOSPITAL.

Jeremy and Chloe made up, Jeremy apologises for yelling and Chloe apologises for commenting on his stutter. They end up hugging and Chloe lets him know that even though he wants to be left alone she’s still there for him, when Jeremy starts replying with an explanation of why he can't really talk about it his squip shocks him. Rather than freaking out Chloe calmly deals with it and Jeremy indirectly confirms that he does indeed have a squip. They establish a code so that they can talk about it, green = its talking, yellow = it shocked me, and red = help. Madeline (who acted a lot worse) still hasn’t apologised and Jeremy is still mad at her. This is the post where this goes down >>> (https://todays-chloe-valentine.tumblr.com/post/179403825299/h-hey-i-im-sorry-for-s-shouting-at-you)

Chloe finally gets Dustin to open up about how he’s feeling because up until this point Dustin has just been taking care of everyone but himself. Dustin accidentally implies he’s a murderer to get Chloe to not call him an ‘egg’ but they resolve it. He isn't a murderer (probably). Chloe is everyone’s mother. (https://todays-chloe-valentine.tumblr.com/post/179437193524/someones-been-anonymously-flirting-with-your-ex)

Chloe encourages Dustin to talk to Jeremy and sort their shit out but it goes wrong when Dustin kisses Jeremy twice and Jeremy, who did not consent to that, yeets outta there because he was not ready to do anything like that with Dust bin again and he goes to Chloe’s house and he is obviously upset and he says he feels ‘gross’.

Chloe mother is having none of that shit so she goes to yell at Dustin, she told him to talk to jeremy not to kiss him. Chloe is very mad and not thinking straight (me neither chlo) so she kisses him to try and do a tase of your own medicine type thing but Dustin is just like ‘ew im gay’. Everyone is annoyed at Chloe for this because WHAT THE FUCK CHLOE DO NOT KISS A GAY GUY WHEN YOU ARE A GIRL ESPECIALLY WITHOUT CONSENT.

Madeline, her gf, says that she is terrified of how easily Chloe can hurt people like that and she breaks up with Chloe.

So now Chloe is kinda spiraling but she doesnt get a squip because she’s not AN IDIOT.

Jeremy and Dustin kinda make up, Dustin is obviously extremely sorry and Jeremy gets the circumstances and is way too forgiving in general but yeah. It’s unspoken that they are ok with eachother but they boht kinda silently agree to forget that ever happened and to move past it.

Thalia in general isn’t very mentally ok and she tries to kill herself by jumping off a bridge but Dustin saves her.

AND THAT’S WHERE WE ARE NOW FUCKERS HAVE A NICE DAY.

#yell at me if i miss something #recap post #i will update this as the story goes on #original recap post

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