#sometimes you act like a normal fan

[starcurtain]

Female Guidance in Aventurine's Life

One thing I haven't seen discussed in much depth yet, but which I think is especially interesting, is the consistency of female guidance in Aventurine's life: Every single person who we have seen on screen offering Aventurine assistance or making a positive difference in his life is female (with one exception, yes, I'll get there).

Under the read more cause it's longggg:

Before even diving into his family, let's just get the obvious out of the way: Aventurine is, at least supposedly, blessed by a goddess. The very origin of his good fortune--be it actual blessing or curse--comes from the literal "mother goddess" who watches over him. This is one of the only instances in Star Rail where a god character is specifically given a gender, and Gaiathra is not ever ambiguous. She is the classic female fertility goddess with all the trappings of other famous triple goddess figures of the real world. Aventurine's personal belief in the goddess may be shaky, but he nevertheless continues to treasure his people's faith. Thus, at the core, we can say Aventurine is a character who is guarded by the most quintessential mother figure possible.

Now, with the most obvious out of the way:

We know that Aventurine's father died before Aventurine was even born, and therefore he would not have any memories of his father, leaving him to be raised by his mother and sister.

Both women clearly made an enormous and lasting impression on Aventurine; they haunt every single one of his memories of Sigonia and are the key elements of the family Aventurine longs to return to. While he flirts with the concept of death as a way to see his family members again, it was also his mother and sister who instilled in him any sense of self-worth and meaning to his existence, the only things keeping him from giving up on living. His mother believed him to be blessed; his sister insisted to his face that not even the only remaining remnant of their mother had any value in comparison to his life.

It is for his sister that Aventurine first begins expressing a self-sacrificial nature, and from his sister that this self-sacrifice is reinforced when she uses herself as a shield to help him escape massacre at the hands of the Katicans.

It is also from his sister that Aventurine learns many of the deeply meaningful actions he holds onto to the present day, despite having been so far removed from his own culture.

Conversely, every one of Aventurine's early negative experiences on screen appear to have been driven (at least primarily) by men.

Although the Katican tribe of course would have both men and women, the tribal societies on Sigonia appear to be on the fairly traditional side, with Aventurine's mother staying at the camp with her child while his father was the one to go out and hunt for offerings for Gaiathra. This is also supported by Aventurine asking Jade to take him to her "chief" later on. Therefore, it is likely (although of course not guaranteed) that a majority of the Katicans' army was male, and that Aventurine's early experiences with outsiders consisted almost entirely of indiscriminate pillaging and massacre at the hands of what the Avgin viewed as savage, invading warriors. In separate instances, Aventurine was traumatized by these warrior figures three times--first with the loss of his father, then his mother, and then finally his sister.

And even their hope, supposed to come in the form of the "men in black" from the IPC, completely abandoned them, leaving Aventurine once again betrayed by masculine figures that were supposed to be there to protect him. Led by Oswaldo Schneider, another cruel male authority figure, the Marketing Department of the IPC permitted the wholesale slaughter of Aventurine's people--something which we know Aventurine is now aware of.

Then, of course, the next piece of Aventurine's backstory we're given is his male slave master. I don't really need to say anything about this, do I? This man violated Aventurine's human dignity and bodily autonomy, and forced Aventurine's hand in a life or death battle for which Aventurine still punishes himself mentally, even years in the future.

In part to escape the difficulty of his situation and rise to a position where he would have enough resources to--he thought--help his people, Aventurine joins up with the IPC. But when he attempts to make contact with a powerful man in the organization, Diamond, he is instead met by a woman, Jade, who against Aventurine's own expectations determines that she will raise Aventurine up (or use him as a tool, depending on how you currently choose to interpret Jade's motivations), granting him wealth and status beyond his imagination.

(And this line in particular is interesting, because you can take it one of two ways: 1) Aventurine comes from a patriarchal planet that traditionally put men into positions of power [thereby making his own slavery an emasculating act, aligning him further with disenfranchised women]; thus, he is making the assumption that to get anywhere in this organization, he will need to work with a man; or 2) He actually was counting on Jade taking his bet and helping him right from the beginning, because Aventurine perceives women as inherently more likely to protect and aid him than men would be.)

In the end, Jade does exactly as she claims she will, launching Aventurine into a position of power while also closing golden handcuffs around his wrists. She positions herself not only as his supervisor, but as his advocate and ally. She entrusts him with her Cornerstone, a sign of significant faith in his abilities. She even seems to be keenly aware of his bias towards the mother figure, referring to him as "child" in their conversations.

Whether this is genuine or a manipulation tactic can certainly be debated (and I'm not inclined to think at this point that Jade is a genuinely good role model or selflessly supportive person in Aventurine's life), but whatever the case, women are the only people Aventurine even remotely considers to be "in his corner."

We see this even earlier, in Aventurine's call to Topaz. Like with the example of his mother and sister, Aventurine trusts in Topaz's ability implicitly, and considers her above anyone else when it comes to completing the mission in Penacony.

Although of course we don't know if Aventurine has any other friends or allies among the Strategic Investment Department, it seems very likely that Topaz, yet another woman, is the one he is closest with. At the very least, she is the only IPC character (so far) that Aventurine has a complimentary voice line for, one that shows his respect for her talent:

Over and over again, the story aligns Aventurine with female figures in positions of authority, and demonstrates that he is comfortable (although maybe not too comfortable, in the case of Jade) with relying on them and trusting their judgment, just as he did with his mother and sister.

And this pretty much goes off the charts in Penacony, where Aventurine has more involvement with the female cast than virtually any other non-female character (even the Trailblazer!). We set the pattern off right away, with Aventurine immediately being placed into a negotiation situation with Himeko, respecting her role as the Express's leader and working to get himself aligned with the Express by acquiescing to her request for support.

Then there's the fact that Aventurine is the one who finds Robin's body, an event which, although he didn't let it show too much, was almost certainly traumatic for him, given the violent death of his own sister.

Next, twice in Penacony's story, we see Aventurine seek out Sparkle for information. He may not personally like her and her comments may be both racist and dehumanizing, but Aventurine does rely on her--being the only character explicitly seeking her aid, which no one else in Penacony seems to want.

In 2.0...

And in 2.1.

Now, say it with me, guys: Aventurine built an entire portion of his grand plan around the idea that if he looked pathetic enough, a female character would absolutely come and help him. And sure enough, the women come through for him, always! Sparkle gives him the exact last clue he needs to confirm his belief that he could use "Death" to reach the true Penacony, sealing the deal for the rest of his plan.

His plan which also hinged significantly on Black Swan's involvement too, another woman that he views as, if not trustworthy, then at least intelligent and hyper-competent.

Contrast all this, of course, with the treatment Aventurine receives at the hands of Sunday, the lone opposing male character he faces in Penacony.

Sparkle implies that Sunday would humiliate Aventurine in an unmistakably sexual and degrading way, and Sunday himself professes this same desire to see Aventurine humiliated.

Then we're "treated" to the moment in which Sunday uses the Harmony's (or perhaps actually the Order's?) power against Aventurine, in a scene which is supposed to reflect an interrogation but is also, very clearly, another nonconsensual violation of Aventurine's bodily autonomy and dignity by a man. While ostensibly seeking confirmation of the Cornerstone ruse, Sunday instead subjects Aventurine to unnecessary questions about his past on Sigonia, which recall and force Aventurine to re-endure memories of his trauma.

Even if this is what Aventurine prepared himself for and planned to have happen, the pain he experiences is very real, and he suffers both the physical and emotional consequences of Sunday's assault all the way up to his "Death" and possibly even beyond.

(Also, Sunday fans please don't get too up in arms with me for this; I also like Sunday! It's okay for characters to be morally grey!)

I think there's one other interesting example I would bring up here too, and that's Aventurine's conscious decision to weaponize his own masculinity against the Trailblazer. Through the 2.0 and 2.1 Trailblaze missions, Aventurine deliberately acts in an off-putting manner to the Astral Express crew, particularly the Trailblazer, in order to build up to the 2.1 climax where the Trailblazer is supposed to view him as an unrepentant villain and attack him without hesitation.

In order to achieve this uncomfortable, villainous effect, what does Aventurine do? Exactly what other men have done to him.

This is especially apparent if you're playing Stelle because of the ingrained societal taboo of a man entering a woman's personal space without consent, but even as Caelus, it is very clear that Aventurine is leveraging behaviors typically used to show dominance: In a complete 180 to all Aventurine's other body language in the game (normally quite withdrawn, frequently in defensive postures with his arms crossed or hand behind his back, almost always standing several feet away from other people), Aventurine violates the Trailblazer's personal bubble, looming over them (Caelus was sitting in this cutscene, lol), forcing eye contact, and commanding the space while informing them that they will have no choice.

For someone who was hunted, enslaved, had his movements restricted with chains, and due to his own slight stature has very likely been towered over by others who were intentionally asserting their power over him all his life, it is clear that Aventurine associates dominant, typically more masculine-coded physically-imposing behaviors with discomfort and even villainy.

Any girl who has ever had a man loom over her like this will realize very quickly: Aventurine wanted to make himself scary so he made himself act more like a bad man.

(Yes of course I know "not all men." I'm not saying every man behaves in this domineering way or that women cannot be domineering too, obviously, just that Aventurine had a very specific image in mind when constructing a "villainous persona," and the physically controlling tactics most typically used by aggressive men toward women was his immediate go-to.)

But where does that leave Dr. Ratio, the one male character actually on Aventurine's side?

Frankly, I don't want to derail my post about how intensely Hoyo chose to hammer on the message of "Women will protect you" in Aventurine's story with a discussion about a mlm ship, but the take-away here is going to lead in that direction anyway--so yes, Dr. Ratio is the exception.

What is interesting is that he does not come across as an exception at first, and in fact initially appears as another male character being rude and dismissive to Aventurine. Like, there are still people out there calling Ratio an unrepentant racist for this one.

Of course, it's later clarified that this is an act--likely even these insults were scripted specifically to give Sunday's spying ears the "insight" he needed to exploit Aventurine during the interrogation.

But even though it is an act, Aventurine still has noticeable trouble putting his faith in Ratio. He does genuinely doubt him a few times, despite knowing that they are working together to fool the Family.

Even his voice line about Ratio confirms that he doesn't think Ratio particularly cares for him; rather, he thinks Ratio simply tolerates him because he's slightly less unintelligent than those around them.

Ultimately, the entire act with Ratio ends up being a mirror of the real scenarios Aventurine has been experiencing with men his whole life (at least as far as we are shown his life). Men abandon him to fend for himself (unwillingly, like his father, or willingly, like Diamond leaving Aventurine to deal with Penacony alone on the inside). Ratio keeps leaving Aventurine completely alone. Men attempt to humiliate him and violate his boundaries (like Sunday and his slave master). Ratio insults Aventurine's appearance and intelligence repeatedly. Men betray him (like Oswaldo Schneider and his men leaving the Avgin to die). Ratio "betrays" him.

I'm not saying when Aventurine devised the plan for their act, he consciously drew up a list of all the ways men had hurt him in the past and had Ratio re-enact them one by one, but like... that's what happened, whether or not Aventurine intended it.

And okay, the shrinking scene in Dewlight Pavilion was just for fun and probably only slightly fetishy, the devs promise; yes, it was supposed to be a joke! ...But it's also not a mistake that this is yet another instance of a male character in a glaringly metaphorical position of power over Aventurine. Aventurine's tiny in this scene! He's completely vulnerable! He's in a dangerous position and the male character could very much hurt him in this moment.

But Ratio doesn't. (In fact, his line here is supposed to be sarcastic, very ha ha--but also, what is Ratio really saying? "I won't do anything to you without your express consent." What a good guy.)

Virtually everything negative that we see in 2.1 is Ratio doing these things as an act at Aventurine's own request. He doesn't actually disdain Aventurine; his own voiceline about Aventurine reinforces that he sees Aventurine as talented and intelligent.

Whatever you think he was apologizing for in their early scene, he's the only person we're ever shown in-game apologizing to Aventurine at all.

He worked hard to "betray" Aventurine but only as he was instructed to do, and immediately checks in on Aventurine's well-being afterward, even urging him to give up the plan if it becomes too much to handle.

And then, of course, there's the note: "Do stay alive. I wish you the best of luck."

After this point, it cannot be denied that Ratio is unequivocally on Aventurine's side, wants to help him, and is not doing so out of any sense of self-gain but largely because he is a good person who simply cares about Aventurine's fate. By the end of 2.1, it can no longer be doubted that Ratio is the exception to the "gender rule" of Aventurine's life, which--the story shows us again and again--was that guidance, protection, and care for Aventurine come from women, while men repeatedly represent dismissal, betrayal, or pain.

Ratio is, at least as far as Aventurine's story shows us, the proof that men can be good, that things are not as black and white in Aventurine's life as they might appear, and that--if you do choose to ship him with or see Aventurine as attracted to men--his attraction could be validated (and potentially reciprocated) by a male figure who would not bring additional harm to Aventurine's life. Aventurine makes the final decision to live after seeing Ratio's note--the exception to the rule ultimately proves to be the last piece needed to keep him alive.

But I promised I wasn't going to derail my own post about w o m e n, so let me get to the final point, and the one I really wanted to talk about: Although Ratio gets virtually all the credit for "saving" Aventurine in the fandom, Aventurine was actually saved by, you guessed it, another woman.

Not going to lie, the reason I started this post was specifically because I wanted to talk about how Acheron and Aventurine's dynamic was completely unexpected but actually fits flawlessly with the theme of feminine guidance in Aventurine's story.

Despite the fact that Aventurine made Acheron's life much harder and actively used her as a chip in his grand gamble, she doesn't blame or chastise him for those actions. Although she expresses some incredulity that Aventurine is actually that lucky, she then turns around and congratulations him for his ingenuity, immediately supporting him despite the fact that they don't even truly know each other.

Then it gets even more interesting. Acheron, who frequently hits her companions with deep and sometimes very emotionally fraught questions, asks Aventurine: "Have you never wavered?"

We as players know for a fact that Aventurine is constantly wavering, constantly doubting himself, his luck, and whether he'll even live--or even wants to live--to see tomorrow. But we also know that Aventurine is not forthcoming about those truths, refusing to express them to anyone, even himself. The only way we hear those dark truths is through his "future" self (who by the way, is once again another male figure cutting Aventurine down--of course it's himself but it's also, from the player's perspective, once again reinforcing the message that he isn't going to find safety or kindness in an adult male presence). Aventurine almost constantly deflects and diverts when his emotions or struggles are brought to the fore (unless he's divulging them for the specific purpose of allowing someone else to weaponize them). "I'm fine," he says, like a lying liar who lies.

But he doesn't lie to Acheron.

He chooses to be completely candid with her, to lance open the deepest wound of his life--that he can win and win and win and still have lost everything. The glitz and the glamour has all been stripped away here, at the end of everything, and Aventurine finally feels safe enough to admit that he fears he has absolutely nothing in his life worth living for.

And then, we get this direct parallel: Aventurine looks to Acheron, the woman now before him, for guidance, for explanation, exactly as he looked to his sister in the past.

He needs help, he needs answers, and he is continually seeking that help from the female figures in his life, whose support and kindness echo the lost care of his mother and sister.

"Go where you should be," Acheron tells Aventurine, guiding him across the river of death just as his sister insisted that he flee through the rain toward life.

Look guys, Acheron's even the one who reminds Aventurine to look at Ratio's note in the first place because apparently being an emanator of Nihility gives you x-ray vision, but my girl just gets no credit at all for being Aventurine's real savior, come on now!! Yes, Ratio's note was the final reminder Aventurine needed that someone would be waiting for him on the other side, but Aventurine would never have even gotten to the point of being willing to read that note if Acheron hadn't stepped in and provided him an answer to his question.

She feeds him back his own answer: "Why does life slumber? To rehearse the death for which we are not currently prepared." It is Acheron who reminds Aventurine that giving into the Nihility is pointless, and that rather than simply embracing a meaningless death, it is up to humanity itself to find and make meaning by living. It's this, not Ratio's note, that Aventurine gives as his reason for choosing to go on when asked by his own younger self. It's Acheron's words that finally give Aventurine an answer--why do we live just to die? Because there are people we can still make proud. Because when we go into death, we should do so with our heads held high, having achieved our own sense of purpose in this life.

Ratio gave Aventurine a promise: Someone is waiting for you to come back.

But Acheron gave Aventurine a reason: If life is inherently meaningless, doesn't that just mean you are free to give it meaning yourself?

She saved him, as women have been saving him all his life.

Anyway, this has already been horrendously long, but really what I wanted to say is that I think it is absolutely fascinating how consistent Aventurine's writing is when it comes to portraying where his support comes from and who he seeks guidance from. (Psst, just in case you still haven't figured it out, it's women!) In virtually every instance we are shown, we see the message reinforced that women are Aventurine's greatest allies and role models, while male figures are continually positioned to intentionally or unintentionally let him down and cause him distress.

"But women playing the supporting role to a male character is nothing new, Star, why are you so excited by this?"

Because the role women are playing in Aventurine's life is not the subservient supporter and emotional crutch role that female characters all too often play to male counterparts. None of the women in Penacony or Aventurine's past were there to do the emotional labor for him, to be a trophy or prize, or to cater to his needs. They don't exist solely to help him fulfill his character motivations; they aren't following him around waiting for his next request as their only role in the plot.

Instead, with Aventurine's story, we almost have an inversion of gender roles, where the male character eschews the stereotypical "men are leaders, fighters, and stoic heroes" archetype. Instead, no matter how hard he tries to hide it and keep a stiff upper lip, it is clear from 2.0-2.1's story that Aventurine is a deeply insecure, lonely, and explicitly traumatized survivor of genocide, slavery, and exploitation. Unlike most male characters, who are very rarely portrayed as genuine victims--because come on, shouldn't men be strong enough to fight back? Shouldn't men be able to shrug it off when they are hurt, emotionally or physically? (Of course I'm rolling my eyes here!)--Aventurine is belittled, humiliated, emasculated, and victimized on-screen, roles almost exclusively reserved for women, for whom surviving victimization in fiction is seen as noble.

Meanwhile, the women in Aventurine's life take on the roles traditionally given to male characters. They're both emotionally and physically his protectors. Aventurine's sister gave her life to guard his safety; Acheron ensured he could safely pass beyond the river of Nihility into the Primordial Dreamscape. They give him the tools necessary to succeed where he could not succeed on his own. His plan could never have gotten off the ground without Topaz and Jade entrusting their Cornerstones to him. The knowledge and capabilities of the women around him--not their "feminine charms"--are what allow them to help keep Aventurine on the right path even though he does waver. Even women who disrespect him, like Sparkle, still play a positive role in his life, able to provide him insight gained with their own intellect and talents.

When he has no one to rely on and doesn't know what to do, Aventurine is able to continually turn to the women around him, asking for and receiving not servitude or fawning, but their genuine wisdom and guidance.

tl;dr: If nobody else has him, Aventurine knows this random woman he met two minutes ago on the street will have him, because the women in his life literally never let him down.

(It's just so, so good, and ultimately, it should be very clear why Aventurine's story is as popular with women as it is! A+, Hoyo!)

[gokupowers]

feel like modern Dave writers/kins forget he's hussies self insert and written to be totally fucking lame in canon bc hussie was a 25 year old loser living in his parents basement making anti SJW rage comics at the time . dave strider is an awesome character but he is genuinely so fucking embarrassingly lame and a loser and it's a beautiful thing & we need to remember our roots #makedavelameagain

[lemonhemlock]

so, i'm going through your anti team black tag and living my best life, but one post in particular that you made got me thinking.

“george made damn sure rhaenyra’s bloodline sat on the throne at the end bc, if the hightowers won, house targaryen would have been reformed, and he couldn’t kill them all off at the end of the main series”

i'm pretty sure this might've just been a joke, but it makes me curious. do you think something like a targaryen reformation would be possible, hypothetically speaking? i certainly wouldn't mind it in a "greens win" AU scenario, but that's just me. i wanna know if anyone else sees potential in this. 💚💚💚

Hello, yes, this was mostly a joke, as it happens. 😅 (anon is referring to this post) To introduce another lengthy parenthesis, I remember at the time that some of the reactions to that post were in the range for "why doesn't anyone understand that the Hightowers are also feudal lords vying for their own interests and not some great reformists out to save Westeros", which... Listen. 😄 To put equitably, this fandom has a considerable issue with knowing when to level criticism and when to just treat banter as lighthearted horsing around and not take it too seriously. Something which even I'm not exempt from, I don't think. 🤷‍♀️

So, in the interest of making a meme, that post was kind of half-true in that it simplified a more nuanced concept (that was never an avenue that the author decided to explore anyway) for the sake of humour. I have, in the past, detailed my thoughts on House Hightower and what I think is their role in the wider narrative. This is based on the information we have on them presently. If I'm wrong, then I'm wrong. Who knows, maybe Lord Leyton and Melara plan on blowing Oldtown up for shits and giggles. We don't have to guess everything correctly - another aspect this community struggles with in their fandom wars and obsession with having the most correct, morally pure take.

Regardless, yes, the Hightowers obviously are a privileged family at the top of the social food chain, benefitting from the exploitation awarded by feudalism - a political-economic system based on vast inequality. Therefore, any type of reform they might be willing to undertake will be limited and not really something that significantly changes the status-quo. Just like the beloved, fan-favourite, and mostly confirmed "winners" - the Starks. A third element that our fandom has trouble accepting is the concept of incremental change. I feel like it would basically be a truism to point out that incremental change has been the most reliable vector of socio-economic evolution throughout human history. So, bad news for them, I suppose, but any superficial study of history will reveal that feudalism hardly collapsed overnight. Which leads us back to the idea that any small change, no matter how limited, does matter in the long run, because, as time passes, it will be compounded with another small change and so on.

Anyway, coming back to the question. Would Targaryen reformation be possible? Certainly! GRRM could have made up any story he wanted. Anything is possible if you plan for it and it makes sense within your worldbuilding. As it stands, the Targaryens are foreigners with a questionable culture, hailing from a land that used to engage in practices that even the feudal Westerosi found backwards, distasteful, barbaric or immoral: slavery, human sacrifice, incest, great feats of violence such as pillaging and conquering neighbouring lands for the sake of feeding their population to their volcano gods etc. The Targaryens also have fire-breathing monsters that, while not exactly enough all the time to prevent any rebellions from happening, are weapons that no one else has access to and that can cause a great deal of damage that no one else can replicate.

So, in order to "reform" and integrate, they would need to renounce all that. They would need to do it the traditional way. They do some of the work, but never go all the way. They accept the main religion of the land, but they don't let go of inter-marrying, because they don't want to lose their access to dragons. There are attempts to integrate, but, by the time of the events of the main series, they have returned to incest. Funnily enough, Aegon V plays a role in both - he marries outside of the family and has no dragons left, but his succeeding son and daughter marry each other and, eventually, Aegon decides that bringing back dragons is not such a bad idea after all. I do think that the symbolic weight of Daenerys having both her parents and her grandparents as brother-sister sets is laying the "dragon blood" metaphor thick - and that it holds more magical weight than any mathematical calculation of her actual watered-down Targaryen DNA.

In any such scenario where GRRM decided to go down a Targaryen reformation path, IMO it would have been thematically-relevant to ease into it via a marriage alliance with one of the oldest families in Westeros - a well-respected, rich house that also has close links to both the only centre of higher education and the main religious organization in the land. Hence the meme. :) But it doesn't last and the Targaryens go back to their dastardly ways eventually, that's the point of them in the story, because the author chose it to be the point.

[scribblingface]

I went into bg3 fully ready to have a good time and have done so despite many ways in which the game is not good and have not worried too much over various dramas about patch changes but my chill streak has finally ended and I am wailing gnashing my teeth etc. about patch 7 (the supposedly final one with story/content changes) not adding companion reactivity for any of the durge content in act 2

[felixcatton]

it's so weird how so few people know how to dislike taylor swift without being like "everyone who likes her is a vapid idiot" and talking about swifties like they're all just mindless consumers sitting around prescribing meaning to meaningless music

[caruliaa]

it is annoying that if a team in a game i dont rly personally care about win people who are sore losers about it are going to tell fans of my fave musician to kill themselves violently just bc shes dating on of the members and that if they lose those same people being sore losers about it are still going to tell her fans to kill themselves violently just bc shes dating on of the members

[wheucto]

ii au where (nearly) everyone on the show is just some kind of abnormal being

[mysticarcanum]

HAD A REALIZATION. GONNA LOSE MY MIND

[pankomako]

ive gotten too good at making boat (and shipwreck by extension ESPECIALLY gang war shipwreck) look so pathetic and pitiable. i think it may be a problem

[shopcat]

just wondering, if you hate the fandom so much why do you still post about it??

hating the fandom of the thing u like is literally one of the most normal experiences of being a fan of something anyone who genuinely enjoys all aspects of the "fandom experience" for something that isn't like totally benign at least and especially if it's Huge is like either brand new to it or a massive tool. i think :) a fan bc fandom has connotations etc etc

[eliquidsconchshell]

Me: man I rlly wanna start interacting with my mutuals more!!

Also me: trembling at the thought of initiating conversation

[toadtoru]

“You wanna fight?”

“No, what the fuck?”

Sukuna looks at you with a sort of disturbed look in his eyes. You're sat at the other end of the sofa, phone in hand, and you look back expectantly, as though what you just said is perfectly normal.

"What's wrong with you?" he asks. You tilt your head to the side.

"You just look like someone who wants to fight," you reply.

Sukuna's eye twitches. It's not unusual for you to say shit like this. He should be used to it by now, in all honesty. It's like you want to vex him, like it thrills you to get a rise out of him.

You go back to scroll on your phone. Sukuna watches you for a bit longer, knowing that you're not done with your teasing yet. Without looking up from your phone, you do exactly as he predicted you to.

"Who do you think would win a fight?" you ask. Sukuna raises his brow in disbelief. Sometimes he wonders where you get the confidence to act like this around him. It's truly incredible to him.

"I would, obviously," he replies. You look up from your phone again. A small smile grows on your lips.

"Nah, I'd win," you reply.

In a flash, Sukuna is on you, pinning you to the sofa. You laugh loudly as your hands are pinned above your head and Sukuna straddles you.

"Still think you'd win, brat?" he asks, hovering right above you. His breath fans your lips, and you smile. "Mmmmh, absolutely," you reply, before you close the gap between you, kissing him softly.

Sukuna immediately falls under your spell and kisses you back. You hum into his mouth as he licks your bottom lip, and you allow him entrance. You gasp as Sukuna sits up, cupping your face so he doesn't have to stop kissing you before you're placed in his lap. You comply and straddle him, moaning into his mouth as you grind down on his clothed bulge.

Sukuna sucks on your tongue, his hands digging into your hips as he guides you in small circles. Eyes closed, he allows himself to get lost in the paradise that you provide. A small oasis where he doesn't have to think about anything other than you, you, you.

Slap.

Sukuna opens his eyes. You pull away and grin victoriously at him, your hand still on his cheek where you just gave him the lightest smack known to mankind. Sukuna gapes at you, barely comprehending what just happened.

"See? I won," you say, holding back laughter as Sukuna blinks. Once. Twice.

"You have five seconds to fucking run."

You giggle manically as you get off his lap and run towards the stairs. Sukuna watches you, deciding to give you a few more seconds of careless happiness before he comes after you.

Because once he catches you, he's going to absolutely ruin you.

thank you for reading! | mlist

[suiana]

(yandere! doctor x gn! patient) (cw: nsfw, yandere stuff, drugging, bribery, dubcon?)

your doctor is a little weird, you think.

he's a nice guy, yeah. does his work well, always smiling and constantly reassuring you that nothing's wrong with you. sending you off with a nice pat on the back as he emails you your prescription yet again.

but he's nowhere near professional.

his hands linger on your body far longer than what would be considered appropriate. eyes dark and unreadable as you tell him about your lovely significant other that's waiting for you outside of his office. how he'd try and talk bout his own life in an attempt to get you to stay in his office more...

if anything, he acts more like a possessive boyfriend than your doctor.

though you suppose he's just a little eccentric like that. he's a reputable doctor. everyone loves him, and so do you! he's treated you numerous times and his checkups are always so thorough. surely you can just let his... odd behaviour slide.

today you're coming in for a body checkup. lately you've been feeling dizzy and warm despite it being the middle of winter. you wonder if it's because you've gotten ill or someone's poisioning you. after all, there's been some weird holes in your arm whenever you wake up lately.

your excellent doctor has scheduled you in at 4.30 in the afternoon. he was busy earlier today, he says. you understand, he's a busy doctor. your spouse hasn't ended their shift yet so you came in alone. they haven't been answering your texts since they left home earlier today. you can only hope that they've been busy, you'll ask them when they come home.

entering his office, you are met with his polite smile and his melodious voice.

"please sit."

you obey, sitting down in the seat in front of him as you fiddle with your fingers. your doctor looks rather... distracted today. his usually tidy hair is a mess, his glasses wet as though they had just been cleaned.

"it seems that you are feeling warm and under the weather. do you have any other symptoms, my dear?"

"yes... i've been feeling rather..."

you pause, not knowing how to say it.

"aroused?"

you nod. your doctor seems to know you so well.

he hums, going back to his screen before putting on a pair of medical gloves and gesturing for you to lay down on the bed nearby. you oblige. hopefully he'll figure out what's going on with your body.

he starts off normally, prodding and pressing against certain areas of your body. you answer accordingly when he asks you whether they hurt, whether you feel weird or not. it's like any other medical examination.

"so how's your lover been?"

small talk. you realize he's always been a big fan of small talk. asking about your life, humming and smiling as he replies with answers about his own life too. sometimes he says something personal about your life, like how you go shopping on saturdays with your lover or how you sleep with the lights off. you wonder how he knows, is he stalking you? but you shake your head at the thought. you must've told him and forgot.

"they've been... fine. haven't texted me back yet unfortunately."

"mn, i see."

silence washes over the two of you as he continues prodding and touching you. his touches linger, soft and almost as though he was yearning to touch you even more. his tone of voice was nonchalant, like he didn't care.

you feel slightly uncomfortable.

"um..."

"hm?"

"i-i... i guess i'm worried about them. ever since they went out to work in the morning they haven't replied..."

"i am aware."

you remain quiet after that, pursing your lips as you ignore the way his touches have you growing progressively more turned on. you figure it must be a side effect of your condition.

"my dear, can you tell me what you feel what i touch you here?"

"huh? w- h-hey..."

you let out a soft moan as his gloved hands caress your clothed thighs. calm down, he says. it's just a part of the examination. you shudder slightly, squeezing your eyes shut. you feel the warmth in you grow as he continues to gently caress your thighs.

he's right, it's just a medical examination. he wouldn't touch you like that. plus, you have a significant other already. you shouldn't be feeling like this because of his touches. it's wrong.

you exhale shakily, fluttering your eyes open as you stare at him.

"i-it feels nice..? it makes the warmth worse, doc."

"i see... what about over here?"

you let out a gasp, eyes widening so wide you were sure they'd pop out of your skull. where... were his hands touching? surely you're dreaming?

but you weren't. when you looked down, you could clearly see his hands on your nether regions, gently groping and caressing the area.

"w-what are you-"

"i am merely testing to see which parts of your body react to my touch. please do not worry, my dear. this is all medical procedure."

"but it's my-"

"shh... i know. does it feel good? what do you feel?"

you shiver under his touch, whimpering softly as you try sitting up. were you overthinking it? he's just your doctor. this is part of the examination, it's fine.

yet you feel as though his touches have a deeper and more sinister meaning behind them.

"please don't-"

"why not? i've seen your significant other touch you like this multiple times. you've always reacted wonderfully under their touch."

"h-huh?"

your doctor pauses, eyes widening slightly before he lets out a chuckle. his hands continue palming and caressing your privates, almost as though he was... toying with you. with every touch you feel yourself getting more and more worked up, cheeks flushing even more.

"oh dear, i haven't told you have i? i've been keeping a close eye on you... i thought you'd have figured it out by now. your lover certainly has."

you squeeze your eyes shut as his touch, your mind growing fuzzy. what.. did he say? you can't quite understand... all you can feel is how bothered you're getting and how you want him to touch you even more.

"i am pleasantly surprised with how well you are reacting to my touch. i never expected you to react so positively to the drug."

"d-drug? ah... no... don't grope me like that..."

he continues palming at your clothed privates, a calm smile on his face. you can faintly make out the way his cheeks were turning red and the hardening of his pants.

"right, i did tell them not to tell you... my dear, your significant other has left you."

"no... what are you... talking about doc? hah... how would you know anyway..?"

"oh, because i told them to. i gave them some money a few months back and they've been working for me up until... today."

if you were a little more sober, you would've pushed him away and ran for your phone. unfortunately, the aphrodisiac you had been injected with last night has reduced you into a needy thing desperate for his touch.

"what did you do-"

"well my dear, didn't you notice the injection marks in your arm? your significant other had been administering you with tiny dosages of this particular drug i've given them. it's supposed to make you feel good."

"g-good..?"

you hear your doctor chuckle, his hands moving away from your sensitive parts. only to quickly undo the buckle of your pants and slip his hand down on your newly exposed skin.

your breath hitches, hips instictively bucking against his hand as you let out a low whine. you can't think anymore. your brain is so muddled with feeling good that you aren't even worried or disgusted by what he's saying. all you want is him, him, him. he makes you feel good.

"yes my love, good. aren't you feeling good right now?"

"mn mhm!"

you nod your head eagerly as his hands gently toy with your sex, rubbing and fondling you gently. he continues smiling down at you, pleasuring you with his fingers before pulling away. you whimper, face hot and red as you desperately try and pull him back. why would he do that? he was just making you feel so good...

"haha, you want me to continue touching you?"

you nod again. your doctor grins widely at your words, taking off his gloves before you hear the clink of his belt hit the floor.

"well, i suppose i'll get on with my second part of the medical examination now then."

[tofixtheshadows]

You guys really need to stop and consider the ways you're talking about Kabru I am dead fucking serious. Like I know that flattening characters is just what fandom does to a certain extent, but Kabru's actual personality is getting lost to the fandom hivemind insisting that he's aggressive/cruel/sociopathic/hateful, and these are particularly concerning takes to see leveled at the only brown character in the main cast day after day. "My poor sweet golden child Laios needs to be protected from this scary brown man" is not a good look! Like, it's very telling that the bulk of the hate and bad faith readings are reserved for Toshiro and Kabru. Everyone else's flaws get to be discussed and validated and forgiven (or erased), meanwhile people are straight making up things to be mad about with Toshiro and Kabru but patting themselves on the back for being smart.

The worst part is how undeserved it all is. I'm trying to lay off anime-onlys because we're still kind of in the red herring stage of getting to know Kabru, but I would still like to gently suggest that even if you think Kabru is up to something, you don't gave to get in the tags of every fan creator's post and bring up how you hate him or You Can Tell he's totally evil. Sometimes I think Kabru's blue eyes give people license to say things about his appearance that they know would sound completely racist otherwise, but referring to his blue eyes acts as a get-out-of-racism free card. The jokes about the dog with brown contacts are getting old, by the way.

For people who have read the manga, it's disappointing. Kabru is one of the most complex and important characters in the story, and if you base your interpretation of him and all your fandom interactions on shallow first impressions you are completely missing out.

I know part of this is because Dungeon Meshi is a comedy, but the story also wants to be taken seriously. For example, it's admittedly really funny when Chilchuck calls Laios "sick in the head", but that doesn't change the fact that the way Chilchuck casually belittles Laios caused him to hide the fact that he was "hallucinating" from his friends for weeks. Those feelings matter.

Like, this

is funny.

But this?

Is not. This is just a very clear example of a brown boy with PTSD. As someone else with PTSD, just looking at this fucking sucks, man.

The only reason why Kabru thinks about killing Laios is because he is in the middle of a flashback. He's struggling through a panic attack. If he truly wanted to kill Laios because he's violent or because he finds Laios inherently annoying, he wouldn't otherwise talk with Laios normally. Notice how he doesn't act this way at any other point in the story- it's just because he's triggered by monsters. Even when he's thinking about his plans to "deal with" Laios later, he's reluctant to actually kill him and only considers it to prevent another tragedy. Despite his deadly skills, Kabru relies far more on "soft" power- insight, persuasion, diplomacy. He's a rare example of a character who absolutely is, or at least can be, manipulative, but seems to use his abilities for good. He's not a pathological liar, he isn't looking down on everyone behind a smile. He's someone who is extremely emotionally intelligent, and he's willing to put aside all his own basic wants and needs to stop the cycle of dungeons devouring humans.

I'm going to cut a potential thesis on his character short and just give some examples of things that fandom should consider about his personality more:

Racism in fandom isn't just about whitewashing in fan art, or using racial slurs. The insidiousness of bad faith readings, reductions to racist tropes, lack of fan content for characters of color, and dismissal of a character's complexity are far more common. You can believe yourself to be completely neutral or even positive about a character and still churn out low-grade bile about them into fandom's collective unconscious. Fandom reflects real life.

And I have been around fandom long enough to see how these behaviors (mostly from my fellow white fans) affect fans of color, how it makes a fandom feel hostile and unwelcome to them. It's fun to make jokes and memes, I'm absolutely not saying that everything needs to be a deeply nuanced take, but we need to be careful that it doesn't veer into toxicity. Please think about how our contributions to fandom come across, and what sort of vibes they cultivate in this communal space.

[ham1lton]

just a normal girl.

pairings: charles leclerc x comedienne!reader.

summary: just a normal girl is a stand-up netflix comedy special performed by actress and comedienne y/n l/n in which she discusses her childhood, her horrible first meeting with her boyfriend and being a twenty something in london.

author’s note: based on that one anon’s dream but i changed it up slightly! also eid mubarak to all my muslim followers celebrating today! this is for you <3 i also have a new taglist so please help me out by filling it if you’d like to be tagged in future works!

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JUST A NORMAL GIRL TRANSCRIPT.

Y/N L/N: so, charles decides to take me shopping. fancy, right? we walk into this chic little boutique and, surprise, the shopkeeper only speaks french. now, i don’t speak french. at all. my entire french vocabulary consists of 'oui' and 'croissant.' meanwhile, charles is chatting away like he’s in a romance film, all suave and shit.

[audience laughs]

Y/N L/N: and there i am, standing there, smiling and nodding like i understand every word. for all i knew, charles could be telling the guy, 'this is my new project. she thinks monaco is in morocco. and i’ve been dared to make her over like that one freddie prinze jr film.' and i’m just like, 'yes, absolutely. très bien.’

[audience laughs harder]

Y/N L/N: so charles is chatting to the guy in french as they go through the boutique and he inevitably finds this gorgeous dress. he hands it to me, all excited, like ‘try it on! you’ll look stunning’ and i look at the price tag. why was this dress more than my rent? for that price the dress needs to fill my fridge, put shelter over my head and fly like a magic carpet.

Y/N L/N: i exit the changing room, because when a cute guy asks me to do something… i can’t say no. i can’t help it! i can’t say no to pretty faces!

[audience laughs]

Y/N L/N: charles is looking at me in this dress like i’m an angel from above and i’m calculating the amount of ramen noodles i’ll have to buy to smooth over my overdraft. maybe if i wear it every day for the next sixty five years, it’ll work itself out? then charles chats to the shopkeeper and points at me and then at charles and i’m thinking… what the hell are they saying about me. he’s probably telling charles ‘this girl is not for you. she’s very clueless and can’t handle the high life you are accustomed to’.

[audience boos the shopkeeper]

Y/N L/N: oh no, don’t boo him. he was right. i was clueless and unable to handle the high life. charles looks at me smiling like ‘should we get the dress?’. on the inside i’m like, NOOOOOOOOOOOO but on the outside i’m like, oh sure, yeah, why not. but he rings it up and says ‘that’ll be 32,489 euros please’ and i want to die. but then charles just hands over his card and i remember… i’m dating a guy who probably earns my life savings in a day. life goals, am i right ladies?

[the ladies in the audience cheer]

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liked by netflix, charles_leclerc and 483,938 others.

yourusername: tfw your netflix special is number one for two weeks so ur man buys u two flower bouquets. guys get please me to three so i can get another <3

also i have had a recent influx of followers? so hi. i’m y/n, i act and i think i’m funny sometimes. if you’ve watched my netflix special? mwah <- that’s me kissing your forehead.

view all 2,737 comments

charles_leclerc: not you cheating on me in your caption ☹️🙁

-> yourusername: sorry you had to find out this way <3

user1: omg is she muslim?? and a hijabi??

-> user2: finding yn… inshallah they find her.

user4: NOOOO HE’S TAKEN….

-> user4: BY A BADDIE TOO…. NOOOOO

maxverstappen1: made a netflix account to watch you and it was good! 👍🏻

-> yourusername: thank you user maxverstappen1. always appreciate the support from grassroots fans such as yourself.

arthur_leclerc: wait was the kidnapping story real?

-> yourusername: obviously! i have never lied in a comedy special. exaggerated, perhaps, but never lied! what sort of woman do you take me for?

user6: why can’t we see your face in any of these pics?

-> yourusername: because you can see my face on netflix in hd in my new comedy special - just a normal girl :)

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JUST A NORMAL GIRL TRANSCRIPT.

[spotlight on y/n l/n standing center stage, audience is attentive]

Y/N L/N: the first time charles invited me to a formula 1 race. i know, right? fancy! i mean, i usually spend my weekends binge-watching netflix in my pajamas, and suddenly, i’m in the vip section at a grand prix. talk about a plot twist.

[audience laughs]

Y/N L/N: so, we get there, and i'm already feeling out of place. everyone is dressed to the nines in designer outfits, and i’m wearing the only fancy dress i own, which is basically just a black dress i got on sale at h&m. but i’m trying to fit in, pretending i know what’s going on. spoiler alert: i have no idea what’s going on.

[audience laughs louder]

Y/N L/N: charles is introducing me to all these important people, and they’re all speaking this mix of french, italian, and who-knows-what. and i'm just standing there, smiling and nodding, because that’s my default mode in these situations.

[audience laughs]

Y/N L/N: then, charles introduces me to his team, and they start explaining all these technical details about the car. and i’m thinking, 'wow, this is fascinating,' but honestly, it sounds like they’re speaking another language. they could be telling me the car runs on unicorn tears, and i’d just nod along, 'ah yes, absolutely. unicorn tears. very efficient. not very sustainable though….’

[audience laughs]

Y/N L/N: alright, so while we’re on the topic of my boyfriend, let me tell you about the time my family found out i was dating a rich formula one driver. you’d think they’d be excited for me, proud even. but no, my family? they just saw dollar signs.

Y/N L/N: so, i’m visiting my family for the holidays, and everything is going well. we’re having dinner, catching up, and then my aunt, bless her heart, leans over and whispers, 'is it true? are you really dating a formula one driver?' and i’m like, 'well yes, aunt sarah, it’s true.'

Y/N L/N: now, my family is not subtle. at all. within minutes, it’s like they’ve formed a council of war. my uncle pulls out his phone and starts googling charles. my mom is like, 'how much money does he make?' and my dad is suddenly very interested in the price of sports cars.

Y/N L/N: i’m sitting there, trying to eat my mashed potatoes, and they’re plotting how to get charles to invest in my cousin’s failed business. my cousin, who once tried to sell homemade kombucha and ended up giving half the neighbourhood food poisoning. that cousin.

[audience laughs heartily]

Y/N L/N: my brother, always the opportunist, chimes in with, 'hey, maybe he can get us a discount on a new ferrari!' like it’s a shein code that you can input on the website and i’m just sinking lower in my chair, wishing i could disappear.

Y/N L/N: so, i finally snap. i stand up and say, 'look, i know i’m broke, but i’m fine. i don’t need to use charles as an atm. he’s not a walking bank account, he’s a person.' and they’re all just staring at me, like i’ve grown two heads.

Y/N L/N: then my grandma, who hasn’t said a word all night, just quietly stands up and says, 'well, if he’s that rich, maybe he could at least buy us a new dishwasher. the old one is on its last legs.' and i’m like, 'seriously, grandma?'

[audience laughs louder]

Y/N L/N: but you know, through all this, charles has been amazing. he’s patient, understanding, and he never makes me feel bad about my financial situation. i’m broke, but i’m fine. and honestly, i think that’s what makes us work. i keep him grounded, and he... well, he reminds me that sometimes, it’s okay to splurge on the extras.

[audience cheers and applauds]

Y/N L/N: but here’s the thing about dating someone like charles. the highs are incredible, but there are lows too. there are moments when you feel like you’re in a fairy tale, and then there are times when reality hits you hard. like, after that amazing day at the race, we got home and charles was still buzzing from the win. and i… i was just exhausted.

[audience quiets down, listening intently]

Y/N L/N: i remember lying in bed that night, charles fast asleep beside me, and i couldn’t help but think about how different our worlds are. he’s out there living his dream, racing cars and traveling the world, and i’m just trying to keep up, trying to fit into a life that sometimes feels so foreign to me.

Y/N L/N: it’s hard, you know? being with someone who’s so extraordinary when you feel so ordinary. there’s this constant fear that one day he’ll wake up and realize he deserves someone who belongs in his world, someone who isn’t just pretending.

[audience is silent, reflective]

Y/N L/N: but then i look at him, and i see how much he loves me, how he looks at me like i’m the only person in the room, and for a moment, all those doubts fade away. because maybe, just maybe, being a normal girl is exactly what he needs in his extraordinary life.

[audience applauds softly]

Y/N L/N: thank you for listening, everyone. you've been amazing! enjoy the rest of your night. i know i will!

[spotlight dims, y/n exits to a heartfelt applause]

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liked by ynwifey, f1wags and 587,828 others.

yourusername: birds of a feather, we should stick together 🎶

tagged: @charles_leclerc

view all 34,937 comments

user1: SHES SO PRETTY

-> user4: BADDEST BITCH

user9: mashallah sis! you look gorgeous :)

*liked by yourusername.*

user10: a billie fan!!!! omg!!

user89: charlesyn is so cute. funny gf x pretty bf.

-> user12: the way she is also pretty gf but he isn’t funny bf 😔

landonorris: no one wants to see happy couples on the timeline thanks x

-> yourusername: unfollow me x

-> landonorris: but who will make me laugh then 😔

-> yourusername: knock knock 😋

-> landonorris: who’s there 😁

-> yourusername: single 🙀

-> landonorris: single who? 🤨

-> yourusername: single you! still waiting for a punchline and a date 😊

-> landonorris: 😔

-> randomstalkerfan1: i’ll date you lando! :D

-> landonorris: would rather stay single thanks x

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[lymtw]

Toji who's a huge fan of the long socks and workout shorts combination on you. You don't only wear the outfit to workout. Sometimes, you wear it because it's as comfortable as pajamas but more casual to wear out than pajamas, and because you get impatient while waiting for Toji to come home, you can do anything in it. Cleaning, reading, watching TV, anything.

It's always the same scenario every time you wear the outfit. Toji ravages you—completely ruins you every time. He thought you would've caught on to his routine, by now, but there you were again, wearing those tiny red shorts. Your long white socks that reached just below your knees hugged your legs perfectly, two red stripes adorning the tops of them.

Toji sighs, shutting his eyes before bumping his forehead, lightly, into the doorframe a couple times. He's feral about the way you look, and you don't even realize it.

You gasp, a smile taking over your features at the sight of your man. "Baby!" you squeal, excitedly. You crawl towards the end of the bed, ready to leap into his arms like you usually do, but you only managed to make it to the center before he put a hand up, halting your movements. You sit back, your knees bent. "I didn't notice you were back, already. I... I missed you," you say, a softness in your tone that is attached to your concern for Toji's mood. Normally he looks at you with a boyish grin when you freak out about him being home, but he's looking at you so seriously this time. "Is everything okay?" You ask, as he ambles towards you, his eyes never leaving yours. "Toji, please, say something," you say, your heart starting to race with every step he takes.

He climbs onto the bed, crawling towards you. Silently, be grabs ahold of your ankle, lifting your foot towards his face so he can kiss it from your heel to the tips of your toes. You look at him while stifling a grin, wondering what's going through his mind for him to be acting this way. "That's nasty, Toji," you giggle, not making any sort of attempt to pull away your foot.

"Not as nasty as what I wanna do to you," he says, as he continues to run his kisses along your legs, his hands slowly moving up and down your shins and calves, before stopping where your socks end, an inch below your knees.

"These new?" Toji asks, tracing the red stripes on your right sock.

You nod, beaming with joy. "It came in a pack of five."

He hums, satisfied with the new information. There will be more of this in the future. "You needed every color, huh?" His lips continued their exploration, now feeling your soft thighs against them.

"There were other colors in a different pack, but I thought of you when I chose the pack that I got. It had a pair of socks with blue stripes, and I know you're fond of the color. So... yeah. That was my deciding factor." You laugh, a sound that makes Toji's lips twitch as he reaches your inner thighs.

"Always thinking of me, huh? Even when you're choosing socks." His green eyes focus on you as he continues to kiss your inner thighs, leaving behind a slightly painful memento.

"Kind of, yeah." You wince at the sharpness of his teeth sinking into your thigh for a quick second, before he laps and sucks on the indentation. "What, baby?" You look down at him with a slightly scrunched nose.

"There, there. Just leaving a little something behind on you." Toji's lips form a sly grin as you watch him, intently, even then, you didn't expect his next move. You gasp when he slides his face up between your legs, his sharp nose adding some pressure to the ache growing in your cunt. His tongue peeked out and followed the same path, leaving a damp stripe on the crotch area of your shorts. You shudder at how he doesn't stop there, your cunt throbbing when you feel his hands push up your shirt. He's kissing up your abdomen, starting beneath your bellybutton and ending at your sternum.

Your fingers run through his hair, eliciting a quiet groan from him with every gentle graze of your nails against his scalp. His hair is soft between your fingers and it messily spikes in whichever direction you brush it.

Toji pushes up the elastic band of your lacy bralette over your breasts, immediately burying his face between them. He was ruled by his obsessive desire for you in that moment, the heat of your soft skin against him minimally satiating the hunger he had for you. His mouth latched onto your right nipple while his hands roamed beneath your shorts, feeling up the backs of your thighs before giving your ass a squeeze.

"Baby..." you cooed, a sweet little grin on your lips as Toji rolled your nipple around his tongue. You could feel him subtly grinding his hard on against you, the act making your cunt pulse with need. There were shuddered breaths of desperation coming from him, his quiet groans muffled as he sucked on your nipples. You wrapped your legs around his waist, crossing your ankles on his lower back. You used your heels to nudge a little bit of his shirt up, his skin instantly warming the cotton material of your sock.

With a wet pop, he released your nipple and looked at you. In his eyes, you could see how much he wanted you, how badly he wanted to be inside you, already.

"You make my blood boil, you know that?" His face is inches away from yours. "It's like every time I come home with the pure intention of being soft and shit with you, you ruin it by making my dick hard."

You giggle, cupping his face. "I swear, I'm not even trying. I'm just here, waiting for you. Is this your way of saying you miss me?"

Toji chuckles. "What makes you say that?" He brings his hands out of from beneath your shorts, hooking his wrists around your hips to drag you even closer. Your legs readjust around his waist, your ankles locking in place again.

"Nothing in particular," you say, a saccharine tone decorating your voice. You have an inkling that he does miss you when he's gone for longer than intended. You feel more confident in your inkling when he comes home and the first thing he does is weigh your body down with his. This time was a good example.

"Maybe... I just wanna hear you say it." Your lips curl into an enticing smile. One that has Toji admiring how pretty your lips shine with that lipgloss you're wearing. "Just for me?" you whisper to him, tracing his jawline with your thumb.

Without hesitance, Toji responded to your want. "I missed you," he says, quietly, just to you, like you asked. His heart thumps rapidly as he takes in your reaction to the small confession. Your eyes were more brilliant than before, and you're smiling like a girl who's been told her crush likes her back.

"Yeah? Wanna say it again?" you ask, giddily. He looks you dead in the eyes, a deadpan expression lingering on his features. "Just one more time," you beg.

"Where are your manners, doll?" He cracked a grin at the way your body jolted slightly when his voice returned. "Haven't heard a single 'please' slip past those lips."

You giggle, your twinkling eyes apologizing for your rudeness. "Please, Toji," you plead, again, your voice light and airy.

Toji sighs, not having the heart to deny you when you look at him like that. He can physically feel how much you love him. "I missed you, my pretty girl," he repeats, kissing the column of your neck, lightly bruising you with his lips. "So fuckin' much, and I know you can tell."

"Mhm." You giggle as he drags his lips further across your neck, to the side of it

"You feel that?" He says lowly beneath your ear, dragging his clothed hardness between your legs. "You want it?"

"Mhm..." you hum, holding back a moan. "Yes, Toji."

"Good, 'cause i'm gonna give it to you. Gonna give it to you real good, mama," he purrs.

"Toji!" you shriek, kicking lightly at his back when he nibbles on your ear. He chuckles at the little goosebumps that appear on your waist, his rough hands attempting to smooth them down only to make more of them rise up.

"This little getup always gets you into trouble. Always wonder how you breathe when it fits so... tight. It's like another layer of skin, doll."

"I feel pretty in it," you murmur into his ear, your palms rubbing his shoulder blades.

"You are pretty in it. Look like a pretty little cheerleader."

"A cheerleader?" You laugh.

"Mhm, my own personal cheerleader. Always chanting my name, and wearing those pretty skirts and shorts. Those long, striped socks... mmm. Motivating me in the best way, baby."

He pulls back to remove his shirt. The sight of his sculpted muscles never failed to make your pussy wet, even when you've seen him completely naked so many times. You'll never get used to the godlike body beneath his clothes.

"You're staring, princess. What?"

You cover your eyes, a bitten back smile on your face. "Sorry, didn't know you were off limits to my eyes. Won't look at you again. Guess i'll just feel it when you're inside me."

"Aw, come on. I was kidding." He pries your hands off your eyes. "Watch me, and do the same."

You follow his lead and pull off your shirt, your bralette following shortly after. Toji waited for you to catch up to him, his eyes taking in the sight of your exposed upper body for a few seconds before working his pants off. You did the same, pulling down your shorts.

"Baby," you laugh, waiting for him to keep going. His hand goes to your stomach, rubbing your soft skin.

"Just getting a good look at you, doll." His eyes rake up and down your frame, before he clicks his tongue. "You're a real heartbreaker, you know that?"

"Yeah? Whose heart did I break?" You grin, just a little bit amused at the new information.

"Anybody who's ever seen you passing by. Even Shiu has spoken out about how be wants to pounce on you." You catch the way he rolls his eyes at the mention of someone else lusting over you. Someone he knows and works with frequently. "Man practically cries every time I leave work 'cause he knows you're home waiting for me, not him."

You giggle, gently grabbing Toji's hand off your stomach, moving your grip onto his wrist. "Shiu won't ever get to see me this way. All of this..." you splay his hand on your neck, dragging it down your chest, down your abdomen, before hooking his fingers into your underwear and pulling down as you guide his hand lower. "...is a secret between me and you."

Toji swallows the saliva that pools in his mouth, slipping his boxers off so fast.

You giggle at his inability to look away. "Want me to keep the socks on?"

"Whatever..." he says, mindlessly, entranced by your effortless ways of being sultry. He crawls back onto you, quickly revoking your privilege to have any personal space. "Shiu isn't the only one who will never see you like this. No one, but me, will ever see you like this." He cups your jaw, holding your already attentive focus. "Need to hear you say it, ma. I'm so serious, right now."

You pull his hand away from your jaw, bringing it to your mouth. Your tongue comes out to lick a line straight down the middle of his hand, from the bottom of his palm, to the tips of his middle and ring fingers. Your lips went down his hand, again, this time peppering kisses along the line you made with your tongue. "No one will ever see me the way you do. I just sealed my promise into your hand, so if you ever cheat on me, your hand is gonna split in half."

"That right?"

You nod, not a crack of a smile on your face, to show that you're just as serious.

"You're pretty powerful. What happens to all that power when you're under me? Like this."

"It's still there. Just... weakened."

"Yeah?" He says, softly, kissing along your jawline. "I'm your weakness?"

"Mhm," you mumble, relishing in the warmth of his hands as they work up and down your waist, occasionally squeezing.

"That's why we work. 'Cause you're strong enough to irreversibly punish me for committing adultery, but at the same time, you're debilitated by me."

Your breathing becomes a little more noticeable to Toji as he continues to nibble and suck on the skin of your jaw. He's working you up just by reminding you of how easy it would be to put you in your place.

You whimper as he runs his tip through your folds, the messy mixture of your and his arousal making it easy for him to glide through at a teasing pace.

"So soft, and all for me, huh?"

"Mhm..." you hum, sultrily. Your hands go to Toji's shoulders, waiting for the initial stretch of his cock when it prods into you.

Now was the time when Toji's nightly question would be answered. Would you cry or would you hold out when he put it in? Most of the time, you spared a couple tears for him, and Toji would always comfort you by making you giggle or praising you for how well you were doing. This time he was being carried by his possessive feelings. Not to say he wasn't going to comfort you, he just wouldn't be making you laugh.

His tip glided up and down at your entrance, further making you squirm beneath Toji. "Gonna need your eyes on me, mama. Just look at me," he says, still guiding his tip until you make eye contact. The tip nudges its way in, Toji's gaze not wavering from yours.

"Shh... you're fine," he coos at the sound of your whines when he starts thrusting, slowly. "You're okay, it's just the tip," he murmurs. "I know you want more than this, princess. We both know it takes more to satisfy you, huh?" You nod, frantically, in agreement. "Yeah? So, let's give you some more," he says, pushing in another couple inches of his length.

"Hey, eyes on me, look at me." His face is nose length away from yours. He can hear the short little breaths you release from the added inches inside you. Your nails dig into his shoulders, not hard enough to hurt, but enough for Toji to feel them. "Doll face... I'm working my way into you," he says quietly, like it's only meant for you to hear. Not even the walls were allowed to get in on this secret. "Know you can feel me pretty deep in there, already, but you know how selfish I am about you." He groans, the first sound of pleasure he didn't holding back. "Gonna take up more of you. Gonna be even deeper inside."

Toji was silently proud of you. No tears, so far, just little whimpers and breathy moans. "Always been so good... mmm... so fucking good to me, mama. What's another time, hm?" He purrs, kissing your face more erratically as he withheld himself from thrusting deeper before you were ready. "Gonna be good and let me destroy this pretty pussy?"

"Y-Yes, please, Toji," you whine, the ache in your cunt more prominent when he verbalizes what he wants to do to it.

"First you gotta take the whole thing. Still got a ways to go, mama."

"Faster, please, Toji. Put the rest in. I can take it."

His steady, comfortable pace is tested. He's tempted to ram the rest of his cock into you, and see those pretty eyes well up with tears from how deep he is.

"You sure?" He asks, to which you bite your lip and nod. He looked at you like you had just signed away your soul to him. His green eyes possessed so much lust behind them, but he still had it in him to hold back for one more question of security. "You would tell me if I was hurting you, right? 'Cause, you know, pretending isn't cool, ma."

"Shh... I want you so bad, Toji, it's not even funny. Like we've talked about before, I'll scream 'safe' at the top of my lungs if it doesn't feel right." You smile, caressing his cheek with your right hand. "You know, it's so hot when you take care of me."

He chuckles, leaning in to kiss you. The kiss grew lustful, immediately, egging on the fluidity of his hips against you. With every roll of his hips, he slipped more of his length into you, your wetness appearing further down his cock after every few thrusts. You could feel him driving deeper and deeper inside you, and it was intense. Your nails dragged along his skin, and you couldn't keep up with his kisses anymore, your whimpers sounding through the lock of your lips.

"Feel that? Feel me deep inside you?" Toji murmurs to you, holding your face in his hands. You felt suffocated by him—by his proximity. You felt smothered by his touch—by the hold he had on your jaw. If you moved more than an inch, your face would meet his. It made you feel dizzy, like every breath you took was stolen back by him. All of this to distract you from the rest of his cock being sheathed into you, swiftly, to get it over with.

"Fuck, it's all in, mama. Made it fit, again. We're clicked."

Your eyes are shut, light puffs of air leaving you, and a slight furrow in your brows at the tight feeling in your cunt. You're filled to the brim with Toji, and you can feel the effect it has on him with all the throbbing his cock does inside you. Making his dick fit inside you is something Toji always takes pride in. It shows how much you trust him with your body, and it proves his effort of trying to bring pleasure for not just him, but you as well. He knows it's hard to take his dick without feeling like you're being torn through, if you aren't prepared enough, so you letting him stuff you is a trust exercise every time.

"We're c-clicked?" You ask, slowly opening your eyes.

"That's right." Toji smirks, watching the way you test how far in he is by pushing your hips towards him. "Greedy girl, that's all of it."

"No- I didn't mean-" you groan, flustered by the resting cocky expression on Toji's face.

He pulls his hips back, pushing his cock back into you, quickly. "See? Clicked."

The act makes you gasp, unsettling your breathing.

"That reaction tells me everything, baby. Can't be greedy for more when you can barely handle what you have." His hips start thrusting into you as he grabs at your chest, his hands kneading your breasts. "You can beg for more dick when you can take mine without tearing up. 'Til then, you get me."

You pant, reaching out to grab some part of him, but failing. Instead you twist your claws into the sheets, pulling them into a messy clump in your fists.

You like when Toji fucks you this way. When he's facing you, you get to see his handsome face and the lust that goes into his movements. It does make you nervous, and your heart starts beating faster when he stares into your soul, but it makes your orgasms so much better knowing he's watching your every move.

Toji puts one of your legs over his shoulders, his thrusts picking up their pace as your moans get louder and needier. His hand holds your ankle steady so he can kiss along the red stripes of your socks.

"Fuck..." he hisses. "Fuck, mama, you're squeezing the hell out of me."

"T-Toji, Toji! A-Ah, fuck, Toji!" you moaned, feeling his merciless cock prod every inch of your insides. Your pussy fit around Toji's dick like a snug glove, pulsing and throbbing with short-lived vacancy every time he slid it out before ramming it back in. You could feel your slick start to trickle down from where you and Toji connected.

"Love when you say my name like that, princess. Let me hear you again," he says, grunting as he continues on the brutal pace of his hips. He spots the flush of embarrassment on your face as no sound but your restless breathing and beating hearts, fill the room. "Aw, don't be shy." He chuckles, breathlessly. "Tell me how much you love it, sweetheart. Who makes you feel like this, hm?" Toji knows that's his ticket to getting anything from you. Sweetheart. He slips in that sugary title of endearment, and suddenly you lose your will to deny him of anything.

To wind you up a little more, he thumbed at your clit, instantly spiking your pleasure. You jolted, letting out a choked moan while pushing your hips back into the mattress. "T-Toji..." you called, breathily. "Hold..." you swallowed, high pitched moans leaving you from the swirling pleasure you felt, "...hold on..."

"What? You gonna cum or something?" He teased, not letting up on your clit. "I dare you to cum," he said with dark lidded eyes, that narrowed their focus on your pleasure filled expression. He continued the stimulation, his thumb still rubbing at your buzzing clit while he thrusted into your velvety smooth cunt.

"Feels good, huh?" He asks, grunting as he brings you closer to the edge of your first orgasm. He slides in and out of you, rapidly, hitting all the vital spots within you that turn your body fluid as you cum around him. Your body becomes a wave, starting with the roll of your hips, chasing all the stimulation being given to you so you can ride out that incomparable feeling of sexual satisfaction. The wave then flows to your torso where your back arches off the mattress from all the pleasure coursing through you, before dying at your heaving chest as it rises and falls seemingly endlessly with every passion filled moan and cry you let out.

Toji groans as you pulse around him, clenching and unclenching with newborn sensitivity. It's an unwelcome feeling, one that has you whining for Toji to give you a second to come down, to which he complies. He gives your pussy a rest, but that doesn't stop him from feeling up the rest of your body. He works to stiffen your nipples again, brushing his fingertips lightly against the buds to see how quickly they rise and how puffy they can get. You squirm at the feeling, to which Toji chuckles.

His hands glide over your shoulders, following the slope of your neck, before gently cupping the sides of it. He can feel the bone in your neck beneath his thumbs as he lightly presses into it. Something about this level of control has his cock throbbing inside you, aching to get moving again.

"Toji?" You call, snapping him out of his little daydream.

"Oh, uh... shit, my bad," he mumbles, pulling his hands away. You grab his wrists and put his hands back, allowing him to place them around your neck again.

"Could've just said you wanted to play with my life. I'll let you do it. You know i'm open minded." You smile, too softly for what you're permitting Toji to do.

He wanted to start fucking into you again. The throbbing of his cock was already unbearable, but with the filthiness you just spewed out about letting him play with your life...? It was enough to test his resolve.

"Come on," you pant, as he starts thrusting into you again. "A little harder, daddy... Want you to make me feel lightheaded."

"Oh, fuck... you...," Toji almost moans as he thrusts into your warm, wet heat, again. "...you wanna die?" He groans, his hands twitching with the delicacy of your neck in them. He knew he wouldn't last long with this other side of you coming out to play. The way you mindlessly say the things he never expects, it kills him.

You squeak at the feeling of Toji dragging his hand down to your chest. He roughly paws at your boobs with one hand while the other takes over the entirety of you neck. You giggled, your clouded mind brimming with lustful thoughts. "Anything to make you cum, baby... You choose to not let me walk sometimes, so why not cut my oxygen for a couple seconds?"

Toji's hand was a little heavier on your neck now. Your heart started going into overdrive, your jaw hanging as you let out labored breaths that merged into sweet moans.

"Freak." Toji muttered, panting as he neared his peak.

You scoff. "Acting like you didn't turn me into this." You giggle, gently running your nails down his arms.

He breathes out a chuckle. "Gonna make me cum, mama."

"Already?" You whine, rolling your hips into him in assistance.

"You..." he groans, moving his hands down to your hips so he can pull you into his thrusts. "You can't say that when you came first."

"Joking, joking... Wanna cum on my tits? Think of it as..." you gasp sharply, feeling warm fluid shoot into you.

"Fuck, oh fuck..." Toji groans, heavy breaths released into the air as he rutted short but rapid thrusts into your squelching cunt. He managed to bring you to another orgasm with those rapid little thrusts. Sweat beaded down his temples and dripped down his neck as he found himself just grinding into you, no longer thrusting. Your heart was beating wildly in your chest and in your ears, your moans harmonizing with Toji's as you both stilled in each other's vice-like grip. His hands returned to the sides of your neck, and he got to focus on the effect it had on you, your cunt fluttering around him. You held onto him by dragging your nails across his wrists and digging your heels into his back. You could feel Toji's cum leaking out through whatever sliver of space he left in you. It drooled down your ass and onto the sheets.

You both stared at each other with looks of utter infatuation, no words exchanged, just heavy breathing as you tried to come down from the feeling of mutually delivered ecstasy. Toji wanted to kiss you, you wanted to hold him close, and as if you could communicate telepathically with each other, you got both in one. He laid down on you and pressed kisses all around your lips before finally centering his lips on yours. Your arms wrapped around his neck, and your hands trailed up to comb through his sweaty locks. Your legs wrapped around his waist, and he kept his hands on your thighs to pin them there.

Toji went flaccid inside you from how long you spent kissing and whispering love drunk nothings to each other. You decided to get cleaned up by taking a bath together. Normally, Toji was more of a shower kind of guy, but you made him reconsider with the promise of soapy boobs.

"You're an animal, baby. A pair of striped socks, some shorts and a t-shirt gets you going?"

Toji chuckles, leaning back against the edge of the tub. "What do you want me to say? It's a you thing."

You giggle at the little squeeze he offers your waist beneath the bubbles that submerged you and him.

"Really, ma. You could be wearing one of those inflatable dinosaur costumes and i'd still wanna fuck you." He leans in close, his lips right against your ear. "But... wear those new blue, striped long socks, put on some blue skin tight shorts, one of those t-shirts, and a little bow in your hair... around me?" He sighs, the light breath grazing the shell of your ear. "I'll make sure you have to depend on me to get around the house for days."