#sorry Patricia

[whosyourcreepyunclenow]

@takoyaki-ball thanks for appreciating, although I've committed a horrible crime to make this happen

Mikey suddenly got jealous and there was no way I could prevent it

((not proud of that))

[slasherscream]

I love your writing! And you just get my craziness and character obsessions. I was thinking what would happen if reader had a bruise cheek or lip, and refuse to tell them what happen. Then they discover that the reader was the one who beat the shit out of someone for saying something about their partner, and how proud yet pissed off they will be. I’m think Crazy Ass Girls Gang, need more possessive and protective FMC. Thank you!

warnings: yandere behavior - YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

Tiffany Valentine - Tricks you into thinking she’s gonna be normal about it. She purses her lips when you won’t tell her anything, but quietly rushes off to get the first-aid kit. WATCH OUT! You have just activated a trap card: emotional manipulation. Her most powerful weapon. She’ll silently and dotingly take care of you. Disinfectant. Gentle Hands. Careful bandaging. Petulant silence. Painkillers lovingly dropped in your hand. Big sad eyes staring up at you. When you inevitably break and tell her what happened she could melt! She does melt, straight into your arms. You’re gonna be covered in lipstick by the time she’s through with you. Her hero. Don’t worry, she’ll help you clean up… eventually. Later, you’ll have to help her clean up too. It was so romantic of you to fight for her honor…. But she'd never let someone live after they hurt you, silly.

Jordan Li - Won’t drop the line of questioning until you’re damn near ready to fight her too. She hates that you’re hurt. She loves that you wanted to defend her. Jordan gets a lot of criticism, sometimes it seems never ending. The fact that you feel so strongly about protecting her, not because you think she can’t fight her own battles… but because she shouldn’t have to do it all alone? It means a lot. Still, she doesn’t want you getting into fights. Let alone fights over her. It doesn’t matter how badly you hurt the other person. If there are marks on you Jordan is going to go find them for round two. “You like to put hands on people?” Words spoken seconds before disaster (she’s ignoring the fact that you started the fight. Jordan could give a shit about semantics.)

Nancy Downs - Don’t wanna tell her? Cool! Get ready to experience her favorite couple’s activity besides shoplifting: abusing your coven bond to read your mind! Hooray! It will hurt badly. Because Nancy always makes it hurt when you keep her out on purpose, or hide things from her (or when she thinks you’re doing that.) But don’t worry, after she realizes how sweet you really were, she’ll make you feel all better. Cooing over you as much as she ever allows herself to coo. Cleaning your cuts. Healing you with her magic. Trying to ease the fever that always comes whenever she uses your bond in a way she shouldn’t. She thinks you’re the stupidest, sweetest thing. You’re witches. You don’t have to use your fists anymore to win fights. She leaves you with the coven and goes to enact a witch’s vengeance on whoever dared to lay a finger on you. 

Jennifer Check - You’ll try not to tell her but she immediately starts making such wild accusations you have to just come out and admit to why you’re injured. “I can smell someone on you. If you wanted to get beat up to get your rocks off you should’ve just told me, I’d happily beat the shit out of you.” Start talking quickly! She looks like she’s about to start fulfilling that nonexistent wish now. Once you tell her she has to suppress a smile. She’s a demon. She doesn’t need you playing knight in shining armor over what some jealous, mouth-breathing, loser is saying about her… but, it’s kinda hot that you did. She’ll show you just how hot she thinks it is. Then you two are gonna take a nice little drive, and you’re gonna point out the jackass who put bruises on you. She’ll fuck you again after she’s full. “Thanks for finding my next meal, baby.” 

Victoria Neuman - Victoria expects you to have better self control than this. Not telling her what happened isn’t an option. Ever. The look on her face when you first try and insist that nothing happened is enough for you to quietly admit you got into a fight. Her blood pressure sky-rockets. You two have an image to maintain. You’re her spouse. She has enough problems as it is. She’s thinking of viral videos, nightly news, seedy gossip magazines doing think-pieces: do we really want this person standing behind the president as first spouse? When you tell her you fought one of the Boys for trying to convince you she’s a monster? Well…. She goes a little softer. Victoria will pull you into the circle of her arms and thank you for being so loyal to her. She means it from the bottom of her heart. She’s also dreaming of the day she can pop their fucking heads. Touching you. Talking to you. Trying to turn you against her… they’ve crossed her last line. 

Carrie White - The moment she sees you she’s in hysterics: “Oh, Angel, what happened?!” You’re really gonna sit there and not tell her anything? She’s worked herself into an anxiety attack within seconds. She can hardly open the first aid kit, she’s shaking so bad. The sound of your voice is always so soothing for her that you’ll start telling her the story just to have something to say. She listens quietly while she cleans you up. You’ll have to pull her into your lap before long, and kiss her gently. You’re all she has in the world and it scares her to death to think of you putting yourself in unnecessary danger. You’ll fall asleep curled into each other’s arms. You whisper soft reassurances: “Nothing’s gonna happen to me / I’ll always be here.” Carrie tries her best to listen. You’ll wake up alone, but wander downstairs just as Carrie walks through the front door. She wanted to get her knight in shining armor some breakfast from your favorite diner down the street. She watches you eat with a big smile, and thinks about how she’ll have to burn those clothes in the trunk of the car. She couldn't risk them trying to hurt you again.

Ginger Fitzgerald - Don’t piss her off. If you don’t tell her exactly who touched you she’ll rip the entire city apart. Women, children, men, everyone. Anyone. “Do you want me to do that? Huh, baby? Is that what you want me to do?” No? Then start talking. She won’t be able to see through the blood-lust long enough to take care of you. As soon as you say a name Ginger’s out the door. She’ll only return once she’s thoroughly covered in viscera and gore. She’s still dripping with it when she crawls into bed with you, smearing the blood across your body. She’ll lick at any injury you have, until they’re clean and closed, your skin smooth and unblemished. She’s the only thing that can leave marks on you. She’ll kill anything else that tries. “You don’t have to lift a finger for me, baby. If you want someone hurt, I’ll do it. I’ll do anything for you.” Just run your fingers through her hair and try not to cringe as your fingertips get stained red. 

Patricia (Split) - She’s devastated by the state you come home in after she allows you to go out on a walk all by yourself for the first time since you were…. taken. You’d been so good for her. So obedient. So sweet. She wanted to reward you. And now your eye is starting to bruise, and your clothes are all askew, and your knuckles are swollen. Her calm demeanor cracks, and it’s a struggle to stay in the light. She takes deep breaths, centers herself. None of the others are what you need, right now. You need her. She strips you down, runs you a bath, won’t even let you hold the washcloth. It’s only as she’s patting you dry that she can force out words, finally: “What happened to you, sweet thing, hmm?” The guilt nearly brings her to tears. Months of keeping you close and look at what just a pinch of negligence has done to you… You try to assuage her guilt. You tell her you ran into a neighbor, who’d seen the two of you out together once Patricia trusted you enough to accompany her for little things like grocery trips. You say it’s your fault you came back to her in this condition. That you just couldn’t stand the vile things they said about her. Her face drops into an expression you’ve never seen. It’s gone in an instant, replaced by that comforting, ever present smile she wears for you. She takes you by the chin and kisses your forehead: “My little sweet thing. Playing knight, are you?” You had her love before. Tentatively, you had something like trust. Now Patricia trusts you completely. Even so, you won’t be going out alone again. Patricia trusts you. But it’s clear she can’t trust the world to be gentle with you. Don’t worry, though. All you need to do is ask, when you want to feel the sun on your face. You never see that neighbor again, no matter what time of day you and Patricia go walking.

A/N: thank you!!! we need more batshit crazy women with something wrong with them! Batshit crazy women with something wrong with them unite! if you enjoyed these headcanons consider reblogging, leaving a reply, or an anon! a writer's fuel is engagement. Xoxoxo

[t0bey]

When you drop your resort ticket in the water and she lets you live at her juice shop anyways

[feasibilities]

Sweet As Honey - Patricia 'Kitten' Braden x AFAB Client!Reader ⚢

Warnings: Prostitution, Pet Names, Teasing, Overstimulation, Pining (like really badly), Love at first sight, P in V, Soft!Dom/Sub Aspects, etc. Author's Note: I wouldn't have survived the year if I didn't write something about the goddess that is Patricia 'Kitten' Braden. A beauty who deserves everything good in this world. I was shook making the GIF above but that's neither here nor there. Enjoy!

“Am I really about to do this?” You thought as you stared at the red neon ‘GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS’ sign outside of Xanadu. Opening the door, you met the confused glance of a John—and the smell of cigarettes & cheap perfume. You quickly brushed past him and went to the front desk. Setting a few dollars on the counter, the madame gave you change. 

“Booth 7, darlin’.” She purred, looking you up & down. You hesitantly walked to the booth and shut the door. Sliding 4 coins into the slot, the booth’s window slid open. You were met with the gamine beauty on the other side.

“Hello, sir. What’s your name?” Patricia hummed, rocking back & forth on her flower-covered swing. Her view of you was obscured, so she assumed you were among her male clientele. 

“Y/N.” You spoke softly into the shoddy microphone. You felt your temperature rise after hearing her silken voice. Tilting her head, Patricia barely managed to hide her surprise that a woman was behind the wall.  Giggling to herself, she decided to toy with you.

“So…what brings you here, sweetheart?”  Patricia inquired, already knowing the answer. 

“Just looking for some company, I suppose…” You trailed off as you stared through the window. She was wearing a blue silk nightie & her hair was curled beautifully. Thoughts of the beauty that lie underneath were too much to bear.

“You can go to your local pub for company. Why are you really here, love?” Patricia purred, running her hands in between her smooth legs. You caught yourself rutting against the velvet chair before you realized she asked you a question. 

“To fuck.” You admitted, hoping she’ll accept your offer. 

“Now we’re getting somewhere.” She teased. Standing up, she walked to the booth window and stared inside at you. Her blue eyes widened with curiosity. It took every ounce of restraint to not kiss her. 

“A pretty little doll, aren’t you?” She praised. Your heart fluttered at her words. 

“I normally don’t do this but…” She trailed off, pulling a gold key from her bra. She unlocked the booth’s door and took your hand in hers. Pulling you to her bedroom, she quickly shut the door. Paper dolls & Marilyn Monroe posters covered the wall. Her vanity had a wonderful assortment of makeup and perfume bottles. A beautiful canopy hung over her bed with a mirror on the ceiling. 

“C’mere, darling.” She whispered as she pulled you closer. Taking some initiative, you slipped the sheer robe off her shoulders. She followed suit by reaching under your shirt and unfastening your bra. You moaned when her cool fingers teased your nipples. She hushed you with a fervid kiss. You whimpered softly when she nipped at your bottom lip. Pulling away, you saw that her lipstick was smeared and her pupils were dilated. Desire boiled over in the resplendent room. 

You took off the rest of your clothing as she watched with starved eyes. Growing impatient, you began to untie the silk strings of her nightie before she stopped you once more. “Patience is a virtue, my love. Lay down.” She chastised sweetly. You followed her orders and soon felt her lay next to you. Sliding her hand between your legs, she grazed the sensitive flesh of your clit. You bit your lip as you ached for her touch. She slipped her fingers inside and pressed against the spongy flesh of your g-spot. A wicked smile formed across her face when you gasped and your legs began shaking.

“Mhmm…” She purred, nipping at the flesh of your collarbone. Her fingers sped up while her plump lips moved to your nipple. You watched yourself in the mirror above the bed. You got off on the salacious visual and the sounds of your arousal gushing around her fingers. Her tongue swirled around the delicate bud as you unraveled. Your vision blurred as your climax took possession of your body. You cried out Patricia’s name like a Hail Mary. She held you close as you rode out your high. 

Removing her mouth from your nipple, strings of saliva clung to her lips as she stared up at you. She put her coated fingers in her mouth, savoring your taste. “Sweet as honey, beloved.” She whispered, sending chills through your body. She sat up to remove her nightie & was just as beautiful as you thought. You kissed her shoulder softly and moved your hand to her dick. Stroking gently, you heard her whimper. You held her in place as you stroked faster. She moaned sweetly as her eyes fluttered shut. Soon after, ejaculate began spurting out of her onto her torso. Her mewls were like music to your ears. 

“I..I don’t think I can take much more, sweetheart.” She relented.

“Of course you can.” You said, kissing her neck.

You pulled her down on the bed and straddled her. She hastily slid into you and thrusted her hips upward, bottoming out. A indecorous moan left your lips. She responded with murmurs of pleasure. Adjusting to her size, you started to grind slowly. Patricia stared up at you with appreciative eyes. Her pouty disposition, messy hair, and flushed cheeks almost made you cum once more. 

“So beautiful…” You praised, trying to keep the floodgates from bursting. 

“Just- mmm, just like you.” She replied, feeling the elixir of your arousal drip down her shaft. She ran her fingertips up your legs before stopping at your sides. She wrapped her arms around you and started thrusting at a searing pace. You buried your face in her neck and weeped at the overstimulation. She smelled sweet, especially of Chanel No. 5. Sounds of skin hitting skin filled the room. You tried to squirm out of her grip, but to no avail. 

“Hold still, sweet pea. We’ll be done soon.” She breathed as your walls fluttered around her. You cycled through one high after another before going numb. Patricia stared up at the mirror again and fell in love with the visual of herself plowing into you. The thin layer of sweat on her face made her glow. Seeing you pant in her ear made her want to pull out and finish all over your face.  However, she wanted to hold back her 2nd orgasm until you were deranged with pleasure. 

Your voice was a raspy whisper from constant pleas of mercy. The numbness from earlier faded as she started rutting against your g-spot once more. Your legs began to tremble involuntarily as another tsunami of delectation washed over you. Patricia finally followed suit as her thrusts staggered and hot ropes of seed spilled into you. 

“Fuck…” You groaned, drawing out the monosyllabic word. You made sure to clench tighter to drain every drop of her. Patricia whimpered once again as she throbbed inside of you. You kissed her lovingly while she held you close.

Things were silent for a bit as you two admired each other. She massaged the soft flesh of your hips. You toyed with one of her blonde curls. “Look at you, all fucked out, aren’t ya?” She giggled, examining the leftover tears around your eyelashes. You gave her a weak smile as reality started to creep back in. You understood that this gorgeous maiden didn’t belong to you, and this could be the last time you saw her. 

“I love you.” Patricia declared, virtually reading your mind. 

"I love you too." You replied, trying to hide your excitement for what was to come.

[yank-a-ton]

[the-au-collector]

Fell into a rabbit hole of rewatching Age of Calamity cutscenes (since I don't have the game) and

this game is so needlessly dramatic

"it whaaaat" - Revali

Robbie is an icon and there needs to be more of him

the DLC memory scenes are the best cutscenes in the game

Terrako singing ballad of the goddess 😭😭😭

Baby Zelda is so cute

Terrako is OP

I love how the entire game starts all dramatic and then there's just E G G

Also the opening credits of the game imply that the tapestry is about the Calamity where BOTW Link failed??? Either that or Terrako existed at the same time as the OG Calamity which works for me!

Terrako is the main character prove me wrong

Baby Sidon is too pure for this world

I like how Zelda narrates the game. You could almost see it like she's narrating it to her kids or something and I think that's really cute

Sidon's adult voice actor is so over-the-top lolll

I love Daruk so much

"None of this makes any sense" No Daruk it does not

I love Riju's voice actor

I love how Patricia gets her own name tag too

This game varies between incredibly dark to incredibly funny/corny and I love it

Astor my beloved your laugh is terrifying

Khoga is an icon too "you're my best lackey!!!"

Mipha is so tinyyyy

Urbosa is such a mom I love her so much

Hell yeah Vah Ruta flood Hyrule Field!!!

We need more evil magicians in Legend of Zelda. They're all so iconic

Rhoam is actually pretty likeable at the end of the game ngl

Baby Sidon is so so so tinyyyyyy 😭😭😭😭😭

Yunobo's eyes are so funny

Tulin is a sweetheart and not even Revali can escape his cuteness

Khoga's hair is so hard he can't put the thunder helm on oh oy goddd that's hilarious 😂😂😂

Urbosa, Rhoam, and Zelda's mom had to have been a threesome

I didn't need Khoga to be such a dad but here he is... best dad for the best lackey

Astor has followers??? Like he's a cult leader??? *stores that information away for later* Well to be fair they kinda died in the only scene they were in lol

I can tell Robbie's voice actor had a blast doing this

Also this game lowkey reads like a Kingdom Hearts game lol So much random, corny goodness is here and I love it

[veryaren]

coa5

actual art of my boy neon vanguard below

[gerardpilled]

꒷꒦꒷♡꒷꒦꒷

[frosteee-variation]

Posting here as well because why not!! Shout out to (and rest in terror 😔) Alan Curupen of Providence Al Dente. Your soul may have overflowed on lore but.

actually no yeah we don't know what terror a. ball's deal is yet so. this may or may not go poorly for us. but at least we're plot-relevant /lh

( honestly I don't know what the quality's going to be like because mspaint but uhm. I miss you alan :[ )

[nichimgriff]

[euth6n6si6]

IM BACK AND INTERESTED IN DRAWING AGAIN SIIIGH…. Please send me idv characters to draw

Dinosaur kreiburg below tha cut

I have ada dinosaur hiding somewhere u guys wanna see that

[peachfolk]

AU where Patricia Spaulding goes to the hospital for postpartum psychosis and the very real very demonic baby becomes someone else's problem idk man I only care about the part where she lives right now

[sailermoon]

The Russian Story Book, 1916 illustrations by Frank Cheyne Papé // Dealing With Dragons, 1990 cover page illustrated by Trina Schart Hyman

[feasibilities]

Paper Dolls and Homework | Patricia 'Kitten' Braden x Reader

Synopsis: Being Kitten's tutor allows her to tell you how she really feels. Warnings: Angst, Oral Sex, Unprotected P in V, Slight Dub-Con, Admission of Love, Desperation, Praise Kink Author's Note: I feel like my writing style is evolving (in a good way, hopefully). Enjoy!

“Can you solve this?” You inquired, pointing a calculus problem in Kitten’s workbook. She was occupied with impure thoughts of taking you over her desk. 

“Oh, goodness! Let me see…” She exclaimed, scribbling an answer with pen that has a pom-pom. You double-checked it with a calculator and smiled. 

“So you have been listening to me.” You quipped.

“Of course. Now, let’s watch a movie.” She piped, getting up to scan through her VHS movies starring Mitzi Gaynor. 

“We can complete the next chapter. It might help to get some extra practice.” You said hesitantly. 

“C’mon, darling, you’re allowed to have a little fun. Don’t be so serious.” She teased. You relented and organized the notes before you sat on her bed. She put in a copy of There's No Business Like Show Business and plopped down next to you. You thought she was a bit too close for comfort but decided to ignore it. While the movie played, you saw Kitten’s eyes fill with wonderment. You grew curious enough to ask about her obsession. 

“Why do you love Mitzi so much, Kitten?” You asked.

“Hmm? Oh, Mr. Feeny said she looks like my mom.” She said softly. 

“I can help you look for her after the exams are over, if you want.” You proposed. She turned to you and intertwined her fingers with yours. 

“That’s awfully sweet of you. I really don’t deserve it.” She said earnestly. Her breath hitched in her throat while she admired your beauty. She leaned in close to plant a delicate kiss on your cheek. You felt your heart palpitate when she put her hand on your thigh. Her pupils widened with admiration. 

“Patricia, I-“ You started.

“I love you and I don’t wanna be alone anymore. Can’t you see?” She begged. Her words pricked at your heart. Noticing your apprehension, she laid you on the bed and perched between your legs. You hurriedly removed your shirt and bra.  She had a particularly beautiful view up your skirt. Sliding the skirt up to your waist, she smiled at your baby pink underwear. She massaged you through the delicate fabric and felt you moisten against her fingers. Your breaths wavered as you got off on the unusual feeling. The only fingers that had the chance to explore that area were your own. 

“Oh, love…” She purred, sliding your underwear down your legs. She gently opened your legs once more and dipped between your thighs. Her soft lips nibbled at the soft flesh before they found your tender floret. A fraught moan escaped  you as she fed on you like a starved peasant. Your fingers clenched the fluffy pink comforter on her bed. Her manicured ones moved to your breasts and kneaded them gently. Her thumb occasionally swiped against your nipple. Your juices landed on her waiting tongue as you came harder than you ever have.

“Good job, hun. Now, it’s my turn.” She praised, undressing herself. You squirmed in anticipation at what was to come. Before you could gather yourself, she was on top of you with a coy smile on her face. She gently spread your lips and slipped inside of you. You swore you stopped breathing for a moment. Her cheeks turned red and she bit her lip to maintain her composure. Thrusting slowly, she whispered sweet nothings to you. She buried herself in your silken pink depths. 

“Mmm, right there…” You croaked out. Her thrusts sped up at your praise. The outdated dormitory bed began to creak and shake. You kissed her fervently and wrapped your legs around her to bring her closer. Her pupils eclipsed her gorgeous blue irises. Soon after, she filled you to the brim with everything she had to give. She rested her forehead against yours as she descended from paradise. You were hers until the very end. 

[thstarsofsilver]

that one scene in the morning after *the* party in s2 when patricia and eddie are making eyes at each other across the kitchen??? and the way he oh so subtly he winks at her???? that CHANGED me nobody is doing it like them

[verm1c1de]

heres like alllllllllllll the ofur arts i made of me and @dotcomgirrrl s beafts as of 2day in one post. u lov them