#sorry for the disorganized ramblings

[art-of-mathematics]

If you would like to attend - or know someone who would like to attend:

At my local university the AG Geometric Modeling and Visualization organizes a summer school "Architectural Math for Bamboo Structures".

Because I am lazy I just insert screenshots of their instagram post and their flyer , and add a link to the uni:

- - --

Screenshots of their flyer:

- - --

More information can be found at the website of TU Dresden:

(Description of the topic in English language:)

https://tu-dresden.de/mn/math/geometrie/lordick/schnittstelle/veranstaltungen/summer-schools/bend-it-like-dini-architectural-math-for-bamboo-structures/topic

[acatpiestuff]

@critterbitter OK so

First off:

Yes this is a fully pokemon world

THE BOYS AREN'T POKEMON THEYRE JUST NORMAL ASS SEALS/SELKIES because i think its funny. Because of this decision, Arceus has no idea how they got here but is now sweating cause it doesn't really know how to make them leave.

this technically means that theyre an invasive species?? i guess but eh

Drayden is here in this AU, but he's on vacation (gone fishing) [GONE WRONG]

the boys are good at hunting for fish

this means that the fishing in the bay they appeared in has been SUFFERING when it comes to fishing because these damn seals are hindering them

Ingo found litwick in a shipwreck and just kind of visits its shipwreck until he figures out what pokeballs and battling is

tynamo convinced Emmet not to eat it, and now just kind of follows Emmet around. (they are friends :D)

Later on, perhaps maybe a year into the seal guys terrorizing the port, I think Drayden just goes like "damn this vacation fucking sucks" and goes up to the seal boys and is like:

"So y'all are able to be humans right" "sure" "I guess" "I'mma be absolutely real with you two, I need you to find a hobby other than stealing clothes and things from everyones boats, and depleting the fish population. Do you know what battling is" "Hunting someone for sport" "Absolutely incorrect. Anyway take this ball. You can catch pokemon creatures in them. You then make your creature and another creature fight each other. Go. Please" "okay"

(AND then the boys proceed to get really good at battling. Poor Drayden just sits in his boat with his head in his hands, and is just like damn. Now the seals can extort MONEY from us too why did I do this)

THIS WAS A VERY CONVOLUTED REPLY BUT YES they DO EVENTUALLY GET ALL THEIR TEAM MEMBERS IT JUST TAKES A WHILE BECAUSE THEY GOTTA FIGURE OUT WHAT BATTLING IS FIRST

maybe later later later on they acquire a boat for themselves too... hmhmmhhmhhmhmhmm...

[reborrowing]

a couple people mentioned dolls/figures for the uncommon prompt and I also saw horror

so now I keep getting an almost idea for a living doll who belongs to a collector/customizer. She’s generally passive and not over eager to reveal that she’s alive to the collector, instead taking in the idea that she’s most beautiful when she’s dressed and well posed. She has no nerve endings and learns that the frequent adjustments to her limbs or face are an expression of love. She feels close to the collector, like she’s bonding when she’s being held and prodded and posed and photographed.

It’s a very warped view of love, but she’s not really supposed to be alive in the first place. Maintenance and customization and display are signs that you care for a decorative object, so it mostly works out for her. (But it does feel incomplete, somehow?)

It does not, however, work out great when she comes across a tiny half her size and tries to show she cares with the same methods

I’m not sure who I’d want as the tinier tiny though—another doll who’s just a litttttle more alive? Borrower who was pumped to get some scaled tools? Doll customizer who’s been shrunk somehow?

Whoever it is they’re about to have a bad day

[torchstelechos]

Do you all think the tears instantly restarted the loops, or do you think it took longer? I've been thinking about this for ages now. Because from Siffrin's perspective it is an instant loop restart, but getting stuck in a tear keeps you trapped in that one instance for eternity. So would Siffrin notice if it took a while? Either way, it does bring into question the consequences of the loops looping and their perimeters and how that works. Cause via Loop we know its not the death of a party member that restarts the loops, if Siffrin die dies then it does, if Siffrin feels theres no way forward it loops, and emotional stuffs loop (same as previous looping rule but also has some extra doom spiraling involved so different rule). All of this together, I was wondering if the Tears counted as a no way forward since its not a death. Would Siffrin think of them as a no way forward if Mirabelle could dispel time freeze crafts? If he does, then it would be an instant loop back, but if they dont then it would take until either the world fucking ends oooor until the party dies at which point it does become a no way forward path. That one is more likely, as I do think the wish/universe has to be aware of what counts as a no way forward to force a loop... but at the same time the paths that do become a no way forward are needed to end the loops so it doesnt force a restart loop. I dunno, i was just curious about how the tears worked since they dont count as a death and technically Mira could dispel them if she had enough levels and could beat the king without Siffrin.

[milk-ducts]

I'm so glad to have encountered a fellow Cecil stan. I freaking love coming up with headcanons for Cecil, platonic or romantic, because he's such an interesting character. For real though feel free to dump any Cecil headcanons (platonic or romantic) on me anytime.

AWAAAA!! YES HAII OTHER CECIL AFICIONADO !!! im so glad theres more of us sprouting out here. my wife is so underappreciated, you have no idea how much he means to me. i'd love to req n swap headcanons anytime !! I have so many thoughts on that morally ambiguous gilf.

[messy, disorganized surface level autism rambling ahead. this will be just random scenes and characteristics i like of him]

BUT YES .. cecil's character is just so interesting to analyze. he does unethical, necessary things. But he doesn't subscribe to idealistic notions of "the greater good" or justifying his actions to make himself sleep better at night. He knows the harsh reality that someone has to make the difficult decisions, no matter how unethical. The psychological toll it takes to calculate how many civilian lives can be spared, and how many are inevitably lost in order to achieve the optimal outcome. He doesn't celebrate after victories like the other heroes do. After the dust settles, his mind is already racing - calculating, strategizing how to prevent future catastrophes. How to minimize casualties next time.

his methods are...questionable,, as ive said,, but there's a hint of nobility to it that just makes you respect him, A SHADY GOVERNMENT CHAR that does the dirty work and takes in all the heat for it so no one else has to? SIGN ME TF UP! i love exploring his character and all the little glimpses of humanity we get to see from him,, especially with debbie, SO SOFT FOR HER, there's so much depth there. that old fuck would MOVE mountains for her if he could,, TRUST. EVEN though he doesnt deserve her .. <<

LETS CONTINUE TO CIRCLE BACK TO S1 with his confrontation w Nolan in the desert, the way he entrusted his survival to the skills of his team operating that teleporter watch (I'm aware he can control it himself, I think this was just my interpretation of it since the employees seemed directly involved here). The margin for error was nonexistent. One miscalculation, one millisecond too slow, and Cecil would have been reduced to a red smear across miles of sand. MY WIFE HAS BALLS ON HIM. (also love walton goggins breathy lil giggles here .. hwaghffhh)

All this, All the whilst Nolan could have ended him with a casual backhand, as easily as swatting a fly. And for what? For humanity's (mostly his) right to know the truth. For Debbie's right to understand what she had truly married because Cecil respects her that fucking much for her to have a part in all of this, and what fate may lay in store for her son.

AND what I particularly liked about that scene is that unlike most SHADY GOV CHARS ™.. Cecil isn't afraid to regularly place himself in life-threatening situations, and for that im just.. FKING obsessed. finally. a hyper competent gov char that gets shit done and occasionally by his own hands instead of always puppeteering in the shadows. Love u .. love u honey snooch, please stop putting yourself in danger for your crazy alien side-hoes .

but ahem ... back to s2.. and some flaws of his that i'm not afraid to point out. the way he's been treating mark is killing me. manipulating my son by comparing him to his dad then keeping him on lock by saying he's not like him??? The breadcrumming definitely didn't work out at all, cuz Mark is too damn stubborn to continue to be swindled by fear tactics he does not give a shit for anymore (homegirl DEBBIE taught him better) hes not gonna listen to a cranky skullet-having side bitch of nolans who clearly has been tryna manipulate him since s1. i HATED how he went "ur broke tyrannical bitch father felt the same way" in the last minute when mark tried to leave earth and yet i still lobve ceci cause ough,,.. my bastard wife knew something was probably up.

Him wanting to keep a short leash on MARKY could be summed up after all that has happened in s1. i'm not going to justify his scummy manipulations or paranoia,, especially after all the shit mark has done and endured to prove himself over and over again that he's not like his father BUT its somewhat understandable for cecil 2 be wary if you look from it in his perspective.

moving on from that, lets dive back into ep 2 ..

Debbie was semi-right in her deduction in s2 ep2, that this is what it's really all about for Cecil - being in control. Not of any situation, but of Mark. To ensure history does not repeat itself in the form of Mark becoming another Nolan. imo He likely doesn’t actually view Mark as his father, Not saying the possibility of it being a part of Cecil's subconsciousness is out of the equation but the way I see it? He was just exploiting that one weakness, that one insecurity Mark has - the fear of becoming like Nolan. And it’s a fear Cecil seemed to prey upon to keep Mark under his thumb and in the fucking GAME.

awaaaa :3 !!!! psychologically damaging teens by comparing them to their abhorrently shitty fathers !! FUCK YOJ STEDMAN (love you snookums..)

,,,,I'd also like to think in my warped deluded perception (aka hcs) that he sees Debbie in Mark, so he can't help but care for the kid too. IVE ALWAYS seen a lot of comparisons between Mark and his dad, plus the whole motif of this new season hasn't helped it allay. But Debbie and Mark share so many similar characteristics as well and i wish that was talked a bit more often &lt; 3 (I will go in depth about it at a later post.)

n umm like ...,,, bck to cici in gen. I guess the safety of earth is one of Cecil's redeeming qualities along with his compassion for side characters like Debbie. His pragmatism and utilitarianism define him. He lacks normal morals but has his own code that cultivates to his character. this ramble could not do justice to him ughfglg..,, what a compelling jezebel.. how can u captivate me so !!

My inbox is always open to discuss this multi-faceted rat man. here's to more cecil content in s2..,... hopefully with more of his dynamic with Debbie because I LIVE for that shit. though its unlikely their interactions could range to anything positive now since they may be hinting to cecil becoming an antagonist and/or taking extreme measures w/ mark. soo.. i dont think debbie's scolding was enough for that slut 2 take in ..

in the mean time i'll be catching up on the comics/re-reading them, look up more of his backstory and hopefully create 10 novels worth of google docs of analysis' of his character < 3 cuz .. he means .. that much 2 me.. and i want to prod at every crevice n brain matter he has inside that megamind head of his .

((hwaghhhhhh << hoping that one day the discord moots ive been keeping in my basement and most invincible fans fall victim to cecil stedman propoganda.. no one should be immune to my girlboss and his awful skullet.))

[fintan-pyren]

I feel as though a lot of people ignore the less palatable traits of autism when headcanoning characters as autistic. It's always just some smart character who enjoys reading or is good with tech or math or science of some sort.

And yes, a lot of us do have special interests, but they're very commonly not an academic subject, they're not necessarily a skill we're good at, and it's not even necessary to have a special interest to receive an autism diagnosis.

To be diagnosed, you have to have impaired social skills and struggles with communication. For many of us, that's going to result in us appearing rude and antisocial. And yet it's always the quirky smart likable character who happens to enjoy reading or school being headcanoned as autistic. Rarely do you see characters who are interpreted as rude or blunt or unfriendly or who are picky about food or who aren't smart or skilled being headcanoned as autistic.

And yes, maybe headcanoning those characters as autistic isn't going to give people the most positive image of autistic people, but autism is not all sunshine and rainbows. Accepting autistic people isn't very helpful if you only accept the traits that are socially acceptable.

[volfoss]

i think honestly what irritates me about yoshidas work SO much is that people will tell you that banana fish is THE gay manga (ignoring the many things that came before it and were more groundbreaking, ie MW literally having on screen (or like. on panel but still.) gay sex in it and that came out like a decade before BF did) when there really isn't barely any gay rep outside of the pedophiles and the one time ash drops the f slur. like im sorry but somehow yasha, a work she wrote in 1996, has more gay rep in it but also has the same issues.

i truly do not get how people can enjoy banana fish with the rampant racism every 2 pages or the rampant sexual assault plotlines (on women and ash bc he is just... written like how yoshida writes women lmao) that are handled IMPOSSIBLY bad and sincerely i hoped yasha would be better because it had been like a decade or so between works. and then it proceeds to continue with the heres our blonde genius protagonist who everyone is weird as fuck to and will sexually harrass and everyone finds it a VERY funny joke to point out how feminine he is when theres barely any women in the work (if you exclude the ones that are being raped/killed/creepy to minors. which to be fair yasha has toned down the sa a LOT) and that its funny that hes kind of gay except not really!! and its just absurd to me how it just persists in all of her stuff because she is not an author that handles gay stuff well. like the scene in banana fish where ash is completely ok getting gang raped and did it solely to get into the hospital when its been SHOWN that he has a lot of trauma with that. and then right after his friend makes a joke at ash's expense about that. like sincerely and genuinely is this what we are hyping up as the old retro gay manga. go read some tezuka and stop reading shit that the most the main characters do is share a kiss in a nonromantic sense and is obsessed w making every gay person be evil!!

[6lovelytenders]

I can't stop thinking about this scene and I have stuff to say about it, small rant ahead.

Like, you can't tell me he didn't scare Zug on purpose, the little "psst" after moving forward, him saying “I only wanted to see if it is better back there.” with that cheeky smile, fucker knows exactly what he's doing.

I find it unlikely that he'd pull this stunt with any of the other Z-Stacks, and now I'm upset that they weren't able to dive deeper into his character (you can say that about all the characters though) and his dynamic with Zug.

Thinking about it, Pirate is the only episode where they both play a significant role, and it's a little upsetting that we can't see any more of their shenanigans. Sigh. If only. If only...

[everydaydollydomes]

Hi! I'm thinking of making my own ball jointed dolls, but don't know where to start. What are some beginner tips?

As far as sculpting goes, my main focus so far as been on object heads with only very very recently branching out into a tail (which looks pretty good imo for a first pass lol). I am hoping to eventually model my own body to go with my object heads, though, and have a doll that is 100% my own. Right now I print a lot of Kabbits cause I love them - they're made by AelithArt, who also has shared quite a few tutorials.

Some of Aelith's tutorials are linked below (he uses zbrush, which is a paid subscription. I've heard zbrush mini is free, though) (also hopefully these links will take you to the respective playlists):

If you don't like Zbrush or are having trouble getting Zbrush Mini to download or something, Blender is also popular and it's a free to use program. It's definitely got a learning curve but there are tons of tutorials on YouTube. I don't have any I specifically use, unfortunately, as the most I've used it for so far is for smoothing and a friend showed me how to do that over Discord.

Another friend has suggested just studying the joints and such of doll artists you admire and seeing how they built their dolls (one of my favorite parts of the Kabbits is the knees, personally)

I also got this on Etsy - https://www.etsy.com/listing/594358549/online-video-class-how-to-design-a-bjd?ref=hp_active-mission-recs-rv-1-1

Which is another Youtube course about designing a BJD pattern, essentially designing your doll. You can actually find a lot of classes like this through Etsy that may come as PDFs or special Youtube links. Those ones tend to cost money, though. I believe the one I got was about 15-16 US dollars. Not bad, but it's the very beginning of the process and does not get into the actual modeling aspect; it's just the planning stage. That seller DOES have more tutorials available that get into the modeling stage, but they're much more expensive and I believe she focuses on actual sculpting and casting in resin. I still use resin, but I 3D print my stuff.

If you can find a good, active discord community, that's also great, honestly. I'm really glad I joined Aelith's cause it's been a pretty positive experience and there's quite a few knowledgeable people in there who have all been very supportive.

Aaah, I hope this helped some?? I'm not always great at organizing my thoughts for this kind of thing and my own resources are actually kind of limited.

[radioroxx]

yargh. complicated characters save me complicated characters…

[wikipedie]

jisbon and attachment styles and why the pike storyline actually makes a lot of sense despite us hating it*

(* and also why they couldn’t be together until after Red John was dead despite us preferring they were together earlier)

In this post I will talk about attachment styles, Lisbon and Jane’s traumas and the likely reasons that they developed their attachment styles and how they manifest in their relationships, including their relationship with each other. (+ the reason they’re still quite careful with each other in S7 and struggle to be vulnerable with each other) This will be a bit in depth so I ask you to be cautious while reading - do not hesitate to ask for help or support if you can. There is a risk in here, as I will be talking about their traumas (particularly their childhood abuse and neglect) so if it is a potentially sensitive subject for you, proceed with caution (or not at all, I suppose.)

All my thanks go to @chakramchaser, this would not have been possible without you being both willing to ramble with me and continuing the ideas and connecting some excellent dots. I appreciate you.

[Transcript - Discord chat:

wikipe: okay so teresa is disorganized style while patrick is avoidant most likely. Which makes their dynamic fascinating, now that i think about it. Teresa has moments when she’s anxious, but mostly she tends to avoid.

chakramchaser:

ITS WHY IT TAKES LITERALLY A DECADE

CUZ THEY JUST AVOIDDDD

Also the serial killer in the way blah blah ]

For the purposes of this post, I will only talk about the disorganized and the avoidant attachment styles. (https://www.attachmentproject.com/blog/four-attachment-styles/)

Disorgnized Style

The disorganized type tends to show unstable and ambiguous behaviors in their social bonds.

For adults with this style of attachment, the partner and the relationship themselves are often the source of both desire and fear.

Fearful-avoidant people do want intimacy and closeness, but at the same time, experience troubles trusting and depending on others.

They do not regulate their emotions well and avoid strong emotional attachment, due to their fear of getting hurt.

Avoidant Style:

The dismissing / avoidant type would often perceive themselves as ‘lone wolves’: strong, independent, and self-sufficient; not necessarily in terms of physical contact, but rather on an emotional level.

These people have high self-esteem and a positive view of themselves.

The dismissing / avoidant type tend to believe that they don’t have to be in a relationship to feel complete.

They do not want to depend on others, have others depend on them, or seek support and approval in social bonds.

Adults with this attachment style generally avoid emotional closeness. They also tend to hide or suppress their feelings when faced with a potentially emotion-dense situation.

Do these styles sound like some beloved characters we know?

Teresa Lisbon

(Season 7, episode 7 - The Yellow House)

[Transcript - Teresa Lisbon: Somebody had to be responsible.]

A disorganized / fearful-avoidant attachment style develops when the child’s caregivers – the only source of safety – become a source of fear. In adulthood, people with this attachment style are extremely inconsistent in their behavior and have a hard time trusting others.

"Driven to succeed to the point of developing an ulcer, no tolerance for superiors less sharp than yourself, shutting out girls that wanted to hang out with you, blowing off boys that want to get close. All the while, at every turn, wondering 'what is it I really want?' "

I will pull up her past with the help of the Mentalist wikia, since it is quite coherent and well said: 

“Her mother was killed by a drunk driver when she was twelve (Red Badge). In the episode Red Tide, it is implied that she had to take over her mother’s role and care for her family at a young age. In Little Yellow House, Lisbon tells Jane that she had to be the parent to her brothers after the death of her mother. It is implied that her family life was not an easy one even before the death of her mother. Lisbon tells her brother Jimmy that someone in the household had to be responsible because, "You know what Mom and Dad were like." After her mother’s death, her father's drinking either started or worsened and he ended up killing himself. It isn't specified whether he did this accidentally or on purpose. Lisbon said that he “damn near killed me and my brothers too,” leaving both possibilities open. It may have been something like another drunken car accident, or simply neglect. In Red Badge Lisbon mentions that her father used to be violent, as he once beat one of her brothers half to death and didn't remember doing so. Apparently her father suffered blackouts when he drank.“ 

That is a whole load of “source of fear.” She lost the sense of safety pretty early in life and I argue that she no longer knows what safety feels like. On top of the trauma of losing her parents, there is the trauma of parentification that is implied she’s had to do from a very young age, taking care of her brothers to the best of her abilities.

This style shows up in simple ways: She both craves the intimacy of relationships and rejects it, fears it. Stability feels foreign to her.

She breaks off an engagement with Greg, and she does not seem to have any serious stable relationships during her time at CBI. (“You’re too intense and particular for a man like that.” “Whatever happened to that guy from Narcotics?” “Jeff? He bit his nails.” “That’s particular.”)

She is wistful for a good and loving relationship but she doesn’t know how to keep it, runs away at the opportunity.

Through these lenses, the relationship with Pike makes sense: She is tired of waiting for a man who might never actually love her, she finds a good man in Pike, she longs for the stability and beauty that a relationship with him might provide, while also being terrified of it (and longing for Jane, of course). She is absolutely terrified when Pike asks for her hand in marriage. Of course, you could argue that it is sudden, unexpected, too soon and any woman would panic. But I want to bring up the fact that she doesn’t say “No” immediately, though. She wants to make it work, or to think about it. Or to see if Jane would care.  (And I am firmly convinced that she might have said no to the marriage regardless if she left with him to D.C.)

She says “Yes.” But she does it while running away from Jane, who lied to her and manipulated her again and hurt her again. She says Yes to Pike, but doesn’t even listen to what he says afterwards, just looks out at the hotel where she left Jane.

And then, in the end, she leaves Pike too. Pike looks at Jane in Season 7, tells him that he had a life and a family to offer to Teresa, but I think Teresa is just as afraid of them as much as she craves them. She does not know stability, she does not know how to accept to be taken care of or work through the issues of her relationships for most of the show. She also is not sure of what she likes or wants for most of the show. (Even as she seems that she does, burying herself in her work, the only stable thing for her.)

She learns how to do these things slowly in the relationship with Jane. In Season 7 she starts being more vocal about her likes and dislikes, even with minor things (such as randomly saying that she likes s’mores). Opening up also allows her to deepen her connection to her brothers, whom she had avoided as well for most of her life. She shares her struggles, realizes where she was short-sighted and tries to do better about opening up. At the end of Episode 7, she feels comfortable enough to tell Jane that she loves him, too. And at the end, she’s no longer running away. She’s waiting. “What do you need?” “Time.” “Okay, I can give you time.”

Patrick Jane

(Season 7, episode 3 - Orange Blossom Ice Cream)

[Transcript - Erica Flynn: Patrick likes to pretend that he's this lone wolf.]

Parents who are strict and emotionally distant, do not tolerate the expression of feelings, and expect their child to be independent and tough might raise children with an avoidant attachment style. As adults, these children appear confident and self-sufficient. They do not tolerate emotional or physical intimacy and might not be able to build healthy relationships. What’s more, in the workplace, they are often seen as the independent, ‘lone wolf’. It is, however, possible for these individuals to change and develop a secure attachment style.

There is less known about Patrick Jane’s past than about Teresa. Again, the Mentalist wikia says it better than I ever could: 

“He had a rough existence with his father, the only adult in his life, whose treatment and use of him was tantamount to child abuse. When Patrick refused to scam a dying girl and her grandmother, his father threatened him and forced him to do it. Jane later said that he never went to high school, presumably due to the nomadic carny life. Alex exploited Patrick for his skills, since he was very young. In Red John's Rules it is implied that Jane spent some time in foster care as a child.

Alex had a wedding ring on his hand, but Jane's mother was not mentioned in any flashbacks, so it is likely that she died or abandoned them.”

Jane’s childhood is one of neglect and abuse, peppered with some happy memories. His father makes it clear that he views taking care of Jane as being Jane’s responsibility, and moreover, that Jane owes it to him because he’s taken care of him up until then. (“I’ve been carrying you for a long time and it’s not getting any easier, son.” - Season 2, Episode 10, Throwing Fire) He either helps his father with his schemes or he is on his own.

Therefore, in adulthood, he is on his own. He struggles to let people in, struggles to accept help and accept partnership. He considers himself the smartest person in the room because he has to be - it’s a way to survive and he has nothing else.

As seen when he loses all memory of his family, the original childhood trauma makes him more callous and uncaring, having no limits and no boundaries (nor caring about others’ boundaries). It’s only him and nobody else. 

It is likely that Angela was his moral compass. (as it is implied a few times that she was done with the carny life and the tricks) Even so, chakramchaser made a very valid point: “he still ran from it then - why else would he be running an empire of psychic cons. bro had way more money than he needed he just was addicted to the thrill. i feel like he thrived on the unpredictability.” 

Over the course of the show, we see that he begins to trust other people (mainly Lisbon and the main team). However, he still struggles to let them in, either in his life and in his plans. He goes by himself in most of his plans, informing the team of the minimum necessary for them to know in order to execute the plan flawlessly. He makes more of an effort towards the end of the show and especially after he and Lisbon get together, but his first instinct is still to do things by himself. He cares, but he struggles to convey this directly, preferring to buy them gifts (to show that he knows them), to offer compliments, help them or at the worst, con his way (tricking Lisbon into staying for longer instead of telling her that he doesn’t want her to go).

However, we can notice an important shift after Red John dies and especially after he and Lisbon get together. Despite the fact he still struggles to communicate his feelings, he tries. Opening up towards Lisbon allows him to open up more towards others as well. For example, he makes an effort to inform Abbott when he has a plan that could be dubious (and tells him that he won’t be informed of the specifics in order to have deniability).

Healing comes through the good relationships that we form and we can definitely see this with Jane.

Jane and Lisbon - their relationship

After more than a decade of a deep friendship, Jane and Lisbon decided to become a couple after Lisbon got engaged to another man and was about to be out of Jane’s life. The common perspective is that they could not get together until Red John was dead, because Jane was determined to kill him and in turn Red John was obsessed with picking on him.

That is half of the story. The other half is that they are an disorganized/avoidant couple, do not really consider intimacy safe and do not really know how to express it unless it’s in high stakes. (That being the main reason Jane confessed his feelings in a big “rushing-to-the-airport-and-telling-you-the-truth-as-you-leave” moment.) As an example, I will show the moment from S4 that everyone and their mother is familiar with. I will transcribe underneath the pictures and then I will write my perspective in regards to what they think and feel.

(Season 4, episode 24 - The Crimson Hat)

[Transcript:

Lisbon, not looking Jane in the eyes: So, that thing you said before you shot me.

Lisbon, looking down: What did you mean?

[Jane looks contemplative for a few seconds, before saying]

Jane, with a slight smile: What did I say?

Jane, no smile: I was kind of hyped up.

Lisbon, looking at him now and sounding relieved: Me too. I thought at any moment we were gonna get found out.]

My perspective is as follows: Lisbon has a disorganized attachment style (or should I say…Messy?).

(Season 1, Episode 14 - Crimson Casanova)

[Transcript - Patrick Jane: Messy women make good lovers.]

This means she desires both closeness and distance. She asks Jane what he meant by telling her “Take care, Teresa. Love you.”, but she cannot look him in the eye. She does not know if it’s a confession and she does not know if she wants it to be a confession. She is not ready for this.

Jane, who did not expect her to call him out on this, takes a while to figure out how to respond to this. He is definitely not ready for this kind of intimacy. Whether the confession was a slip or not, he did not intend to talk about this afterwards. Therefore, he decides to go with “I don’t remember what I said.” I think the presence of the smile and the serious face afterwards is indicative enough. He knows she will not say the words out loud.

And she doesn’t. Moreover, she seems just as relieved for this excuse, since she decides to look at him in the eyes now.

In the fanfiction that I’ve read, a lot of people interpret Lisbon as being slightly annoyed or even downright upset about Jane pretending to not remember telling her “I love you”, but I don’t think she was. I think the perspective was both enticing and scary for her (another example pinpointing this is Pike asking for her hand in marriage).

Now, how does this change when they are in a relationship? They start to communicate more and express their likes and desires more, as well as listen to each other. (“You wore a vest. I like it.”) Their early traumas still haven’t disappeared, but they work through them together: they still have a tendency to brush off their emotions and say “It’s nothing, I’m fine”, Jane runs away for a bit when he is trying to figure out how to deal with the idea of Lisbon dying, and Lisbon remains to be responsible and deal with their feelings. But - they talk. Jane confesses to being terrified of losing her, Lisbon remains clear that she loves both Jane and the job. What seems initially as running away turns out to be running towards. It is true that he could’ve told her before, but it’s likely that he didn’t know what was going on either until he found the house. Jane was trying to find a way to deal with his intrusive terror. And yea, my guy would’ve benefitted from some therapy, but a new hobby (such as renovating a house) is the next best thing really. He comes back to her.

In conclusion, I think a lot of their decisions and instincts and fears can be explained by their attachment styles. The way their relationship evolves is absolutely fascinating. Honestly I find it really beautiful that two terrified people used to running away decide to stay for each other and come back to each other and do better to each other and for each other. Their final perp catch is done as a team.

(season 7, episode 13 - White Orchids)

References:

https://www.attachmentproject.com/blog/four-attachment-styles/

https://www.attachmentproject.com/blog/disorganized-attachment/

https://www.attachmentproject.com/blog/avoidant-attachment-style/

https://thementalist.fandom.com/wiki/Teresa_Lisbon

https://thementalist.fandom.com/wiki/Patrick_Jane

[alitgblog]

reunion volume thoughts

first off oh damn goodbye Jin, Claudia, and Bea gonna miss yall so much 🥲😭

second, this was just such an anticlimactic way to say goodbye to all these characters lol

I'm not mad at them bringing in all the characters in groups so not everyone gets introduced all at once, but oh why did we start with Sienna and Hazel and then only at the end did we get Claudia, Theo, and Bea? Like I love a drama filled season, but even this I'm like let me take a victory lap with my friends first pleaseeee

I had enough gems so I was like ehh fuck it I'll listen to Hazel's airport drama but I did notice for more details about the same/related story later on you did still have to pay gems which is ridiculous and also if you didn't pay for at least one, then it's literally just them bickering for most of the reunion and then you get a little bit of free drama between your LI and some other dude. Like I think if you care less about the casa islanders' drama (which I absolutely understand bc I also care less about those islanders' stories), then this was a boring volume pretty much

small odd thing was that no other islanders showed up. like I get that not everyone would show if this was real and for the fiction clearly fusebox just doesnt want to draw the other islanders, but fusebox would only have to draw one dress for the missing islanders and it would make sense for them to show up. like Rachel is an OG where is she?? Felicity had some drama with the guys too how abou her?

Tyler's storyline didn't do much for me bc he gets dumped so fast that it's weird he has all these declarations about missing his connection with MC and wishing he had another chance. And it's sweet and tbh after playing this volume I do like Tyler's character more, but it's still so intense so fast. But also, if this whole storyline was for a reunion in s4 for Hazeem??? would love that. Like he got to know MC for a while but was pursuing Najuma and he realized too late he should've went for MC.

Oakley and Emel not making it on the outside was absolutely expected it went exactly how i thought it would but I do still wish they got 3rd or 4th place at least

Sophie and Jack together but unhappy and unpopular also something I would've predicted.

Sophie and Luna need to stopppp. I don't care for the other guys but I did pick Jack as the potential other man just to potentially piss off Sophie (unfortunately didn't really come into play).

why is Luna still salty though

althoughhhhh I did notice Luna and Tyler look good next to each other is all I'm saying. if both of them got more screen time I wouldn't be mad if they coupled with each other after MC stole Jin.

Claudia and Theo still together 🤦‍♀️

I'm so sorry Claudia I will replay for you 😘

Hazel is such a mess

I want whatever tf the remaining casa boys have. like in my game it's Shawn and Kyle and I'm like are they... together? what's going on there? I know Kyle and Hazel have a thing and Shawn and Sienna are no longer a thing but what's happening there? Also I have challengers on the mind so like.. heyyyy Shawn, Kyle, and Hazel, what's uhh the situation

Bea is barely in this. I know I've already said that but I'm so upset

Ngl the bit where Liam is teasing Claudia about hosting the game is kinda funny I wish all the characters had more fun in-character dialogue like that

I can't be bothered with the Max and Hari drama even though that seemed to be the main focus of the reunion and then you still have to pay gems for the whole story

and Jin's texting airport drama was so small too like it's really nothing and went exactly how I'd expect it to go

ok so general thoughts/fixes

the way almost everyone is single and you get a chance to run away with the og boys (plus liam) one last time doesn't really work for me (except Liam I guess his thing was fine, I do like the realism of him being like I came off as such an asshole I'm sorry but then also still being a little messy bc that's just him). I think maybe if there was an actual gap irl between the reunion getting released and the s8 finale it would feel better.

personally I think it could've just gone like the S1 reunion where it's a two parter, first of all. second, we get the scenery change whether it's Christmas in S1 or in S8's case, make it more autumn since it's been a few months. Again, just adds to the feeling like time has passed bc if it's just in the villa, it doesn't feel like we ever really left? THTH2 does this well too because they're still on an island vacation but they changed the backgrounds at least because it's a different location and I think that helps a lot.

I'd like less casa islanders drama and less dumped OG islanders drama

Literally would be okay if it was just partying and seeing like hey what are you up to? Is Hari's business going well? Is Jin booked and busier than ever as a model? Did MC and her partner move in together? Like we got a little bit from Liam's podcast news, Tyler traveling, and the broken up couples' relationship status, but that's it I think.

I'm trying to remember what made the other reunions so fun and I think fusebox gets close but not quite. So the first two revolve around weddings/proposals and S3 around a potential breakup, but I do like the idea of everyone hearing how one or two of the islanders slandered everyone on a podcast and they're all mad. It just also doesn't work because what if MC doesn't care? So it needs to be that plus something with your LI (for good or for bad), and then cut out most of the other stuff. Like we can include that apparently all the casa people hooked up with each other at one point but let's not let that be the main storyline or let it be less prevalent

you should be able to run away with Claudia or Bea if you're allowed to run away with the OG boys at the end. Like they can have the same storylines as the guys too, Bea being single and ready to move into a real relationship that she realized she wasn't really ready for during the show (like Tyler) and then Claudia yet again having doubts about Theo like the broken record that relationship is (like the guys in an unhappy couple with Emel/Sophie/Luna).

also ending in a big group hug is lame, it's very friend island energy and even s3 doesn't end like that. might as well copy S1 just end with your LI or running away with some other character while the person that was pursuing them earlier yells at you (does this only happen with Tim/Jen? I don't remember lol)

[lavalampstealer]

Okay, I’ve made a compiled dump of lore on my interpretations/versions of IEYTD characters (mainly Phoenix and Handler so far) so I can pin this and ppl won’t have to go looking for old posts. I’ll be updating this as I figure stuff out or if anything changes with them. Apologies if this is a little hard to read, I kind of word-vomited info here and I’ve tried to clean it up a little. Spoiler warning for IEYTD 1 and 2

Buckle up it’s gonna be a long one

First up: Handler, he/him (tumblr doesn’t have yellow text so orange will have to do).

He wears a sleeveless yellow turtleneck over a short sleeved shirt, square glasses, and a yellow headset. Originally a Field Agent for the Agency, he made quite a name for himself and was given the internal/honorary nickname of Agent Moray due to his knack for slipping away from Zor’s clutches while also leaving carnage in his wake (little did people know, he usually ran on pure adrenaline, fear, and general clumsiness that worked out in his favor). He eventually had to retire from field work and become a handler due to him breaking his right leg during his last mission and it not healing properly. Before he had to hang up his spy gear, he was selected to be an early implant tester for the Agency, and the one he got was a rudimentary version of the telekinesis where he could float things in place but not grab objects from afar. He has kept it and it has proved especially useful during his time as a handler for hovering important documents like dossiers and building blueprints/layouts nearby during missions. As for his actual work as a handler, he acts as support to Phoenix, mostly with work related things, but sometimes emotionally as well. He acts as an anchor for Phoenix and is there to bring them back to reality should he notice them getting that glassy-eyed, million mile stare every once in a while. He was very concerned for them in the fallout of Operation: Death Engine and after that he became more attached to them, resulting in him being devastated after Rising Phoenix. If there is anything between him and Phoenix, it leans more towards him being like a father figure than anything else. He usually works from his office in the Agency building (the one from IEYTD 1), but occasionally for more urgent/important/overseas missions, he opts to be nearby (in the crowd in Stage Fright, above Phoenix somewhere in Eaves Drop, outside the chateau in Party Crasher, etc.). If I come up with more I’ll add it to here, 10/10 character.

Next (and probably much longer): Phoenix, they/them.

During IEYTD 1, they had short hair and wore a long sleeve dress shirt and their cyan tie. They were able to do more action-intense missions (hijacking Zor’s sub, sneaking into a cargo plane to steal a car, sneaking onto a shuttle to the Death Engine, etc.) and were generally more aloof about their own safety and pretty much saw their job as just a fun game. However, in the aftermath of Operation DE, their left leg was badly injured and needed to be replaced from the thigh down, so the Agency provided them with a robotic prosthetic. It took them a while to get used to it, and while they can walk, run, and stand with it just fine, it’s a bit difficult for them do more intense activity like, say, hand to hand combat (although a good kick to shin usually has foes doubled over) or dodging projectiles. They also got their facial scars from the DE Incident, with the one on their left cheek coming from the beam that shot into their shuttle when the Death Engine fired for the first time. The other two are just general nicks and gashes from crashing back to Earth. Because of their robotic leg, someone in the Agency gave them the nickname “Tin Can” and it stuck (Phoenix pretends to hate it but thinks it’s amusing). After months of recovery, they were cleared for field work once again where they were given slightly easier missions that have most of the action happen while they’re seated (an exception to this is the implied fight with Gibson before Party Crasher because him being there was unexpected). This time around they prefer to roll up their sleeves because it’s more comfortable, allows for more movement, and it keeps them from getting singed/dirty, but they still wear a cyan tie (a new one since their old one was torn). Their hair grew out during their stint in Medical and they liked it, so they decided to keep it longer. Not much happened to them physically during IEYTD 2, but after Rising Phoenix they had their right arm replaced from the elbow down and got an updated leg (their og prosthetic was shattered in the fall).

I don’t have a design for them as they are in IEYTD 3 yet, so for now just imagine more scarring, longer hair, and a metallic arm from the elbow onwards.

Now, enough about their physical description, now it’s time for more on their mental state(s). After the DE Incident, Phoenix refused to actually dive into their emotions about losing a leg and nearly dying and instead preoccupied themselves with learning to use their new prosthetic and getting well again so they could return to field work. They don’t like to be alone with their thoughts for too long otherwise they start to spiral to a bad place so they’re always listening to some kind of music (a radio, headphones, humming/singing a song to themselves, or just replaying songs in their head). Handler helps them with this and pulls them back to the present every so often. Phoenix also once received an anonymous gift package that contained some very comfy and good quality earbuds (three guesses as to who sent them). They weren’t too surprised by Juniper’s twist of actually being evil (they had an icky feeling about the slimeball ever since they heard his tone in his call during their mission briefing for Jet Set). During Safe and Sound (and by extension, the tutorial), Phoenix gets a sinking feeling that Handler was never truly with the Agency and had betrayed them until Juniper revealed his act. Phoenix is furious with him for toying with them like that and mentally kick themselves for falling for it and for allowing themselves to get that attached to Handler (it’s like a taboo/rule at the Agency for handler and agents to not get connected (they don’t have the budget for employee therapy)).

More random tidbits about them and some other stuff that I couldn’t work into the above paragraphs:

- JJ carries a comb in his pocket at all times because he wants to make sure he always looks good (the smug look on his face undercuts the effect)

- JJ’s hair is more on the side of fluffy/soft but when he slicks it back it looks thinner and more wiry

- Phoenix’s color before getting their TK was a darker blue

- Handler’s favorite flowers were marigolds but after Jet Set, he refuses to have any near him

- Before becoming a handler, Handler’s color was more of an orange before mellowing out to a golden yellow after his retirement from field work

- Phoenix and Handler are injured in opposite legs, to which Handler teases them about them becoming an old man like him (he’s not old, about mid/late 40s-ish, idk)

- Phoenix is around 5’8 while Handler is a little under 5’6

- The Agency trains agents with the implant to use a sort of pointing finger gesture to use their powers but they can develop their own hand sign/gesture that better suits them. The pointer finger is generally effective for everyone but is limited in the sense that the user can’t pick up/float heavy objects. Once agents find a gesture that works best for them, they’re able to lift larger objects (like other people, crates, chairs, etc.). Phoenix has yet to find their gesture

- Background characters do not get a color and are either solid black if they’re with Zoraxis or black with grey or muted gold accents if they’re with the Agency

- Phoenix can and does use their powers in their daily life when they’re off the clock. They use them while cooking to hover ingredients nearby, picking out clothes so that they don’t end up wrinkled on the ground, looking through reports on previous missions to study Zoraxis’ preferred attack methods (explosions, guns, darts, etc.), to grab things from high shelves or faraway, etc. They’re really casual about using it and have to stop themselves from doing it when they go out in public (unless no one’s looking)

- Phoenix isn’t a bad cook, they just like to burn their food on purpose (they like the taste and it annoys Handler)

- Handler is a good cook and gets ticked off whenever Phoenix burns food

- Songs that fit Handler: From The Start by Laufey, The World We Knew and My Way of Life by Frank Sinatra, No More by Manfred Minnich, Nothing by Bruno Major, Slow Summer Swing by Essential Jazz Masters, The Lamp is Low by Laurindo Almeida

- Songs that fit Phoenix: Skeleton Song by Kate Nash, Cloud 9 by Beach Bunny, Leave Me Alone by IDKHOW, Debt Collector, Bad Luck!, and Pressure Bomb 3?!?! by Jhariah (Beginner’s Guide versions), My Way by Frank Sinatra, This Side of Paradise by Coyote Theory (thanks @dieing-lilac for sending me some of these <3)

The songs are a mix of songs from ones that fit their general vibes to ones where the lyrics are accurate (to some degree) of their emotions (Phoenix’s especially). 10/10 songs go check them out if you can

Also the way that character colors work for my style/designs is that it’s an artistic choice to color characters’ details rather than their scars/eyebrows/tongues literally being something like blue or green. A character’s color is a reflection of their personality, characteristics, and general feel that I get from them, with the exception of if a character already has a canonical color (like John Juniper and Roxana Prism). Handler is golden yellow because he seems warm and he likes/liked scotch and marigolds, as well as his subtitle color in IEYTD 1 being yellow (albeit a different shade). Zor is red and gold because Zoraxis is also red and gold so it just makes sense that they would have the same colors as their corporation (also the cliché that red=evil, that whole thing). Phoenix is cyan because of their powers and it fits their personality more than red or any other color would. I don’t really have a reason for why Fabricator would be indigo other than her polaroid pic’s lighting looks dark blue/indigo and that it just makes sense to me. Solaris would be orange because of her love for lasers and because her name makes me think of a glowing ember orange. The more of an impact a character has on the story, the brighter/more saturated their color is (Ex: Daniel Sans would have a muted yellow-green and Anna Ulanova would have a muted maroon because they both don’t appear much but aren’t unimportant).

I think that’s all I have for now, but some of Handler and Phoenix’s characterization can’t really be accurately described without just showing them in their element, so I’m thinking of maybe writing a little story about how Phoenix joined the Agency, how their training went, how they got the implant, and how the events of IEYTD 1 and 2 went with them :) No promises though as I’ll have to find time to plan it out, but if I ever do it I’ll be sure to put it on wattpad or ao3 or something, I’ve never posted a story anywhere before so we’ll see how it goes

Enough of my rambling, I set you readers who made it this far free <33 also here’s something for having made it all the way to the end: 🍬

[giraffeclass]

my personal thoughts about the whole queerbait discourse regarding the daddies that are buddies

So. Do I think Buddy Daddies is queerbait? There's two things to analyze there. First, is the marketing of the show geared towards grabbing a BL audience? I'm not japanese nor speak the language so it's impossible for me accurately make a judgement on that.

But at least regarding the show itself, I don't think so. Like, I don't think the show is promising anything it isn't delivering? It's very straightforward about Kazuki and Rei having a strong partnership as roommates/coworkers/friends, and both being Miri's dads and the three of them being family and that's it, it never hints at anything else, never goes "wink wink nudge nudge are they a couple~? ;333"

Like in episode 4 for example(the daycare episode) it would have been so easy to sneak in some bait-y jokes, have a teacher assume they're a couple and then show Kazuki denying it getting all nervous and blushy, but they don't do that. They directly say "Yes, we are both her fathers" and no other characters in the episode question that or make any suggestive comments. What you see is what you get. It ends up being pretty refreshing how easily accepted it is.

Basically I think the show is like... non-hostile to a queer interpretation while also not feeding any false hope I guess?

And of course there's a lot of subtext, whether that subtext is accidental or not. Just the premise itself is already inherently queer. At the end of the day, this anime has a message of acceptance for non-conventional families, which is very queer-positive, whether intentional or not.

I started this show genuinely thinking it was gonna be generic bait and so far I've honestly just been pleasantly surprised? Like I just don't feel like they're dangling something in front of me or whatever. idk I'm just enjoying the ride lol

also here's the thing. I actually tend to really enjoy the more ambiguous/subtle kind of relationship writing, the kind of stuff that blurs the line between friendship and romance, and so I gravitate towards a lot of stuff that people would usually consider queerbait lol. I just love the concept of two people who have this deep and unspoken trust and love for each other and don't need precise words to define it, or don't know how to define it, or are not emotionally honest enough yet to define it, but the love is clear as day. Like I love it when two characters refuse to even call each other "friend" but you know they would die for each other lmao.

Best example I can think of is G/ood Omens(the show, haven't read the book yet). Lots of queer people complained that they never kiss or outright say "I love you" or anything like that, meanwhile I was there like oh shit, I actually really loved the way their relationship was portrayed in the show and wouldn't change a single thing about it

I do understand the feelings of people who want something that leaves absolutely no room to be interpreted as platonic, and I think we need more of that always. But also I feel like the discourse has lost a lot of nuance, idk. anyway I got off topic oops

[dykeofmisfortune]

trying to explain to people that when i say i'm "vaguely aromantic" i mean that aromanticism is a spectrum and i can, and have, fallen in love and experienced love in the context of dating BUT that i think that what we consider "romance" and the connotations of that idea are such a social construct that it's sorta hard to grasp onto all of it. like love is a real thing but then romance is a pattern of social rituals to express that love according to a script of behaviors, speech, and action... like the concept of dates and kissing and handholding and rituals like asking someone out and all the little "signs" of romance are all just various human actions that are ascribed romantic meaning... I MEAN LIKE okay for example in a standard 2000s buddy comedy movie with 2 male actors, when they do romantic Actions like accidental cuddling or holding hands or breaking up or confessing commitment or taking care of a child that's able to be played as a joke because the joke rests in the assumption that there is no romantic feelings between them, yet they act in a romantic manner. but a shift in intention (e.g. from heteronormative buddy comedy to gay satire comedy) and then you have Romance. it's just. love exists but romance is a social construct. and idk i feel like for me it's sooooo confusing to separate between platonic and romantic love because at the end of the day it's all love and sometimes i do wanna kiss the homies goodnight actually. does that even make sense.

[reserve-polarity]

speaking of Tory and nonsense happenings, why did no adult went after freshly orphaned teenage girl Tory after she stormed out of the dojo?? That was crazy, they were just like next day! moving on!! Hawk goes instead of her to Barcelona!! Like at least allude to someone checking up on her in the interim ToT

I get it all happaned this way so she can go to the Cobras and she and Sam can have a redo of their tournament match when the stakes are high but also really just about winning a competition and no judges have been paid off and it will be like closure for both of them for realsies and I am actually looking forward to that but still!! As it is shown and stands they abandoned her after one (1) grief induced lash out and even thought everyone makes mistakes and acts shitty from time to time on this show noone trying again to get throught to her feels less like that and more just convoluted to get characters in their intented posittions and so it's kind of frustrating to watch.