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whomeidontknowthem · 25 days

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Eyes on me – an interactive whump story. Part 5.

Previous part. Masterpost.

Content: institutionalized slavery, imprisonment, dehumanizing language, it/its for an inhuman whumpee, pet whump, whipping, blood, physical abuse, withholding of food, training, torture, intimate whumper, carewhumper, mentioned pet death, tell me if i missed something

Lord Teelo didn’t strike.

He lowered his arm, eyes never straying from holding the creature’s terrified gaze. The room reeked of blood, now streaming down the lord’s fingers in a warm waterfall. He worked hard on pushing his fury back, taking it under control as many times before. He was in control. He would show it, careful and persistent and levelheaded. He would make sure it remembered the lesson forever. The crop was not meant for punishments, it was too short, too soft – he hadn’t meant to punish it. He was going to be a kind and gracious owner. It had left him no choice!

He opened the door, finding the redheaded guard still in the corridor.

“Get a proper whip,” he ordered. “More chains – gods damned handcuffs, whichever idiot thought of leaving it like this?! And a knife, scissors – or whatever, something to file its atrocious claws.”

The guard stared at him, not in the face – at his arm. Lord Teelo felt it – the consistent drip-drip-drip of his blood. He didn’t feel the ache yet. Nothing but the quiet, cold fury he couldn’t wait to unleash at the world. Haltingly, the guard started, “Should I bring someone to take a look at–”

“I have told you what you should do,” his voice came out as a hiss.

“Yes, my lord,” the guard saluted and hesitated only a moment before running down the corridor.

Lord Teelo closed the door with a loud crash. He paced inside, steps echoing around the room, as the pain slowly started to radiate out. He hated it. Oh how he wished he could slice the thing’s skin just this moment, not waiting for anything and anyone. He picked up the crop once more, stoped before the creature – it cowered to the very corner between the wall and its cage, never letting its eyes away from him. Oh, now it was looking. It dared to look!

“You think yourself smart?” the lord hissed. “Think you did something good for yourself? Oh, no, you’re gonna regret this. You’re gonna regret this so much.”

The pain seeped into his consciousness with every heartbeat, radiant and nauseatingly familiar. He held a handkerchief to the cuts until it filled with deep red. He threw it away – it landed in a wet disgusting lump on the table, by the bowl of wet disgusting meat. Oh how the lord had tried to be a nice host, how he had tried to accommodate this, this–

“Damned, ungrateful, hateful beast!” Lord Teelo roared. The glass of the bowl nearly slipped from his bloodied fingers when he grabbed it, and then shattered to thousands pieces to the side of the creature’s head. Its dinner fell onto the floor, useless. Oh, it wouldn’t get any, it would have to work, to beg for any crumb from then on – it would regret, regret it so much!..

The door slid open soundlessly after a short knock, letting in the heavy footsteps and the clanging of metal. The lord turned on his heels, facing the guard. “And why in the world have you not brought a damned healer!” he hissed. “Can’t you see I’m bleeding out!”

The guard blinked. “But you have–”

“YOU DARE ARGUE WITH ME?!”

He was struggling to breathe, chest heaving with effort. The blood was still warm down his arm, still bright on the broken glass and light wood of his floors. How could the idiot not understand!

There were chains in the guard’s arms and a leathery length of the whip. Lord Teelo snatched it and demanded, “Chain it up!” The guard hesitated, opened his mouth. “NOW!”

He did. The lord watched as he came to the beast, careful with his steps, cautious of it. It squeezed itself deeper into the corner. Lord Teelo could see it shaking. He was delighted to see it shaking. The guard reached out, the first cuff prepared, and Lord Teelo watched from a step away as it lifted its hands up, close to its chest. Its teeth were bared, pupils wide and eyes wider. It tried saying something, but what came out was only a mess of sounds with no meaning.

The guard squeezed its arm even as it tried to avoid it. It whined and fought back, tried getting out of the grasp, tried pushing him away, tried and fought and struggled as he cursed under his nose. Its claws went through the skin of his palm ripping out a sharp hiss. It managed to raise its hind leg as the cuff clicked around its wrist, its claws scratching against the metal in an effort that only delayed the inevitable.

Lord Teelo had little patience left. He stepped forward, connecting his heel with the middle of the creature’s tail. It yelped, flinched backwards – its head connected with the wall, and before it could regroup the second handcuff was in place. After that, restraining its legs was only a matter of time.

“Turn it around,” the lord ordered. Chains clang as it fought in an ever increasing panic. “To the wall, yes… yes, just like that.” The locks rattled, forced closed. The guard let the key fall onto the ground, forcing the creature to kneel. It hid its tail between its legs, whining as its head was pressed into the wall. “Is the chain short enough? Will it be able to move?”

“I don’t think so, my lord,” the guard answered.

Lord Teelo played with the whip, trying it out. “Good. Go fetch the healer– wait. I need – something sharp, something – to secure on its tail. See how it hides it? I need something it can’t hide from.”

The guard looked puzzled. He eased his hold in a test, and the creature threw its whole weight backwards, fighting the chains. They held. Kneeling, with its tail hidden and only back visible, it looked strikingly like a human. “Perhaps clothespins, my lord?” It wasn’t what he had in mind. What he wanted – it wasn’t that. Not this easy, tame solution.

“It would work,” he drew out. He would go to the smith when he had time. He had an idea, oh, that would be a genius idea. “Just this once."

He flexed his left arm and rubbed his right. It hurt as all deaths, but it had stopped bleeding. He failed to crack the whip the first time but managed it the second, inches from the creature’s back. The guard bowed, taking it as a sign to leave.

The creature mumbled and mumbled more, sounds a meaningless mush falling from its tongue. If Lord Teelo was generous, he could see it as an apology; he would not even entertain the possibility of giving in to it, of course.

The second crack was right by its ear. It flinched and curled up further but couldn't hide.

It wailed when the whip connected with its back – so loud, so quickly, taken by surprise. Lord Teelo bared his teeth in a smile and struck again, violent purple already flowering on the gray of its skin, and struck again without waiting – three, four, six, twelve hits in a row, as it flinched and writhed and cried out.

He paused afterwards, and saw as it tensed, first, its whole body shaking with the effort of breathing, hiccupping in what sounded almost like sobs. He waited, watching how it trembled more and more. He let it marinate in the anticipation, the fear coiling and coiling with no release, the stinging of its sore back growing as its patience ran thin.

When it raised its head, just barely, as if to look, the whip snapped through the air again.

It screamed out. He didn’t give it time to recover.

The lord hit it with no pattern, pausing and continuing at his leisure, until his arm grew heavy with pain and the creature nearly silent. Lord Teelo could only hear its labored breathing, air forced out of its body with every strike. Its back bloomed with purple that gave way to red when the skin opened, the new lines covering the rainbow pattern in an unstructured, repulsive mess.

Oh, he nearly pitied it, trembling pathetically in the corner. Then he rubbed his arm and the sharp pain was enough to remember why he didn’t.

He struck for the last time, lazily, with his left, and then a few more for a good measure. When a polite knock announced the guard’s return, he felt pleasantly tired, like after a good work out. He called out for the man to enter.

The guard did and the healer, an old woman the lord knew for most of his life, followed in. She looked the room over with stony, unreadable expression, and Lord Teelo met her gaze with a nice enough smile. “You’ve got your toy,” she stated and that was all the attention the creature got from her.

She made a quick enough work of the wounds: cleaned and bandaged them up after applying that miraculous numbing cream the lord appreciated since early childhood. The creature would appreciate it even more, he thought, glancing at the pathetic thing. It had shifted at some point, stretching its legs just a bit but keeping its head hidden. Its body shook violently, trembling so much it in itself looked tiring.

“Should I look it over?” the healer suggested, all business.

The lord huffed, “What would the point of a punishment be then?”

The woman looked him over with that annoying, unreadable gaze. “Call me whenever you change your mind,” she bowed and left when he dismissed her.

Lord Teelo tried the clothespins with interest, forcing the spring to coil and then letting it go softly around his finger, just a tad, until it started hurting. “Good enough,” he concluded finally and got up.

The creature flinched when his boots stopped by its form but didn’t try anything. “Poor thing,” he drew out and crouched, ran his fingers along its back lightly, brushing fingertips over the painful ridges of future bruises. Its breaths hitched, but it didn’t make a sound. “And all you needed was to not act like a brainless brat to avoid all this. You have no one but yourself to blame, silly thing,” he told it. It didn’t answer, shivering under his touch but not attempting anything stupid.

“But maybe you can learn,” he hummed and moved his hand down to where its tail started. It tensed even further, if it was possible at all. “Let’s just make sure the lesson sticks, huh?” It curled up even further as he tagged on its tail, releasing from under the creature’s body. He flickered it back and forth and rubbed between his fingers and was satisfied when it sobbed and shuddered but remained motionless otherwise.

“Like this, yes,” he muttered. With the softest touch of his second hand, he stoked its head. “But look at me now. Eyes on me,” It didn’t understand. He caught a fistful of its fur and tagged. “Eyes on me.”

Too drained to resist, it lifted its head as he guided it. “Eyes on me,” he demanded again, and it either guessed or truly learned – its gaze settled on him, focusing to the best of its ability – and, oh, what a pathetic mess it looked, eyes bloodshot and wet in ways he’d thought only a human's could be, dark lines from where it pressed into the floorboards marking its cheeks. There was something red around its mouth – did it bite itself, the poor thing?

Lord Teelo clicked his tongue, smiled softly and released its fur. It settled back instantly, curling up again. Its tail remained in his hands.

He picked up the first pin.

It must have assumed at first that he was just playing like he had been, – at least, it didn’t seem to tense up too much, nor expect the sharp pain when he released the spring around its tail. It shuddered, head whipping up, staring at him once again. He smiled. Picked up the second clothespin.

It tried to get its tail free – oh, it tried as much as it could without hurting him, but he tightened the grasp and played with the pins as it couldn’t help a new whimper, and hushed it and urged it to sit still. “That’s for you to remember the lesson better,” he told it pleasantly. It must have cried, body shaking again, and tried to kick just once, the movement stopped halfway through by a short chain.

Lord Teelo wondered how many pins would be good for it – should he go with the whole set the guard had brought? He settled on five, at the end, a nice even number not even halfway through what he had. He was feeling rather merciful and forgiving, and it sounded just so pathetic.

He called the guard in to urge it into the cage when it was done. It didn’t even try fighting, following the man's tagging and pushing until it was inside, drawing its limbs close and curling up to fully fit. Nearly immediately, its fingers itched towards the pins, human-like thumbs ready to work on the problem. Lord Teelo snapped his fingers to get its attention.

“No,” he said, words dripping with finality. He reached through the bars and tagged its tail outside. “The clothespins stay here for the night,” he told it. It probably didn’t understand – there was so little thought in its eyes. He let go of it hoped for its sake it understood what he meant. He didn’t want to have to punish it so soon for their lack of common language.

When he went to sleep, the shaky breaths and the rare clanging when it tried to settle more comfortable sounded like a lullaby to his ears.

In the morning, his arm stung mercilessly and unendingly, and no melodies of birds and gentle sunrays could make his mood better. He turned lazily, letting his eyes fall onto the cage. The creature was curled inside of it, eyes shut tight and ears flickering restlessly. Its tail fluttered too, freed at some point from the pins, one of its hands curling around it protectively.

Lord Teelo felt stuck between endearment and irritation. He moved and the cuts on his arm ached, and irritation won.

“Hey… you,” he called and realized he hadn’t come up with a name. He should think about it as some point, he decided grimly, and banished the thought of the last pet he’d named, back in childhood. That was a just a cat, a stupid spoilt creature with too much attitude. The lord remembered the way it looked, painted red and unmoving, after crossing one too many lines.

The creature didn’t move at his call, either. He picked up an extinguished candle from his bedside table and threw it towards the cage. “Hey!”

There was no reaction. With an undignified groan, he forced himself on his feet and towards the cage. He rattled the key across the bars, the way that always seemed to get the creature’s attention.

It didn’t react. It was outright ignoring him!

Had it learned nothing?!

He reached through the bars and tagged on its tail, finally getting some response in return – it flinched weakly and grimaced. Slowly, its eyes fluttered open, but didn’t settle on the lord. They looked as if through him, unfocused and dizzy, and a pang of worry cut through the just rage when they closed back and its chest heaved, struggling for breath.

Something was wrong.

He reached through the bars and towards its forehead, forgetting for a second it wasn’t a human. The skin under his fingers was blasting hot and sickly wet. It moved closer to his fingers, all but nuzzling against him.

Something was terribly, terribly wrong.

Updates every 7-10 days (depending on how much time I have and how obvious the poll result is) (unless something goes wrong and it takes me too weeks to get myself to write something. I'm so very sorry about the delay!)

@isikedmyself878, @fraugustends, @otterfrost, @fuchstastisch, @3-2-whump,

@the-lone-youth, @will-o-the-wips, @catnykit, @granny-aaravos, @mj-or-say10

Tell me to be tagged in the new parts!

#okay that was rather long. I hope it's fun and worth the read!#“he was planning to be kind” yeah no keep telling yourself that #hes kinda pathetic in a way i find really entertaining to write #hes just having a full on tantrum over getting his arm scratched. the creature's paying for this tho!#I would like to talk to you about consequences btw! the creature is resistant but not immortal. it takes a lot to kill it but you just migh #i think its more fun if you know that you can push it far enough for it to outright die. so ill have options leading to this possibility :>#see how much misery it can take before its body gives out :>#...but also: please dont kill it im having fun #we need a name for it btw. please tell me what you think it should be called. well get to a naming poll eventually but ill need ideas first #also sorry for the delay! the writing wasnt writing. i would swear its an exception but no. its normal for me. it will happen again. sorry!#btw if some of you thinks (and finds the idea interesting) that the lords tantrum kinda sounds out of proportion and like the reason for it #goes deeper than a few scratches. yeah. yeah it does. i may have given him some trauma. and i might explore it #if you think its a fun thing to explore. tell me if you do!#whump #whump writing #writing #interactive whump #interactive writing #choose your own adventure #pet whump #slavery whump #nonhuman whumpee #intimate whumper #carewhumper

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ultimaid · 6 months

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as someone who works in the mental health field. the way some of you talk about mentally ill elderly people is absolutely atrocious and i’m going to need you to start seeing the elderly as human. that will be you one day and you’re going to wish younger folks had more compassion.

#like talking about how mentally ill / suicidal geriatric people should ‘just deal with it until they die’ like what is wrong with you??#the elderly are HUMAN. a lot of them have loads of trauma and a lot of them have never been able to unpack that trauma.#even if it’s ‘just a joke’ do you hear yourselves? they can hear you!!#geriatric folks have so much to offer our communities and they shouldn’t be left to suffer because of their age.#mental health care should be for EVERYONE who needs it.#eno.txt #sorry i heard some shit today and got very angry!!!

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stuffedsand · 9 months

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for the violence ask game: 8 common fandom opinion everyone is wrong about. for milgram. i know exactly what you're going to say i just want to see you go off again

Hiii bestie. You do know what I'm about to talk about. Yippee

Disclaimer that this whole essay is like. For fun and how I say things is ramped up to be funny. I don't mind if you disagree w me cuz like that's the nature of things! We disagree but we can get along.

Anyways short answer for people who don't wanna see the essay: organ harvesting theory. This is about shidou.

Idk how prevalent it is rn since not many people even talk about shidou but it was prevalent enough in June when I got into milgram that I believed it for a bit anyways the rest in under the cut cuz I'm insane sorrg

SO the main reason I think the theory is WRONG (hyperbole‼️) is because I just think it's unrealistic. Man works in a hospital in Japan. How would he pull it off. Scuff an operation bad enough to cause braindeath/death and I'm p sure they suspend your medical licence, if he participated in an organ harvesting operation pre-family-accident his case would then be black and white cuz he was doing it in complete sound mind with no regard for human life. Also it wouldn't justify the extreme reaction he's had to realizing, specifically, "what I've been robbing people of" (t1 voice trailer), and he wouldn't have as heavy a focus on the relatives' feelings and reactions. At least story writing wise it'd make less sense since it doesn't allude to anything if that's the end goal? Imo at least. Idk maybe this is because I really like tragedies in media. Also because it'd be a really disproportionately severe crime compared to every other direct murderer???? Like. We have strangled someone, stabbed someone, bludgeoning, bludgeoning, kicked someone to death. Organ harvesting looks cartoony in this context. It's also not a very prevelant issue in Japan iirc.

Also to prove my point further. If we use this theories the murders would be

Strangling, abortion??????, cyber bullying, stabbing, organ harvesting, toxic r/s, telling the truth (lmao), bludgeoning, bludgeoning, bludgeoning (minus weapon). Organ harvesting is goofy cuz it seems so.... Extreme,,,,,,,

ALSSOOOOO funny point. If he's not directly involved in his murder (as in, unintentional and indirect) that makes 5 direct and 5 indirect. Silly.

Also also his murder seems somewhat tied to how he feels about his job itself ("I wanted to contribute to society (about his career choice)/I had thought my work was a contribution to society", use of past tense) and to me it reads like hes disillusioned w his job esp since his reason for getting a highly sought after, high paying and high social ranking job is "I wanted to contribute to society". Doctors with that empathy can be affected by the death around them more severely and I think that's a fun topic to look at

I count this under "common fandom opinion" cuz it was common enough around June (whenyours truesly got into milgram) that I believed it. I mean I introduced shidou to my friend (hello clown) as "maybe Dr malpractice. Organ harvesting dude" and said friend (hello again clown) is also the one who's heard me bash the organ harvesting theory like 6 times at least now so. Yippee.

Take none of this seriously I just got off a plane and am so very eepy. If you like the organ harvesting theory good for you!!!!!!!💥💥💥💥💥 you do you bestie !!!!!!!!!!!!!! I literally do not think less of anyone who believes that theory I just personally dont lmao

#sand speaks #hiiiii bestie my silly mutual. youve heard this rant before now for it poorly formatted in text #i mean its better formatted than when i actually talk abt it cuz if i wrote it the way i originally did the points would not be organised #like at all. itd be so bad #anyways all of this is lighthearted i dont think less of anyone with different opinions i just. dont believe the theory at all #i like the tragedy thag comes woth it technhcally not being his fault but also kinda being his fault.#like maybe he had really bad manners towards relatives. or horribls bedside manner (youre in my way just die already“ like ok mr kirisaki.#dont say that to a comatose patient my dude. but yeah it can be argued that morally hed be in the wdong #or if he persuaded relatives to dknate patients organs. which is rude and also malpractice (coercion and taking advantage of ppl in vulnerab #and with his themes of lying (covers) i fhink it could wither be lying to relatives of patients OR. him seeing hsi work and the promise of #saving people from illness or death as a lie and a hoax becasye so many people died anyways despite those promises #anhwyas im insane about this man. characters with extreme worldviews entirely of their own making my beloved #like nothing told him to believe this. he just does and thats whats interesting to me #anywasy suuper sorry about the big essay and the many tags. i love this fandom #i have so much to say but so little phone battery. and mental battery its Zzzzzzzzz time #tell me if abything in here sounds mean or anything btw im too used to being mean as a jokiing thing so im worried ill offend someone

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0809sysblings · 2 months

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the council has spoken

#milgran't #council posting #the council has spoken. literally #but no sorry im just. celebrating a mild(ish) victory #i think i like. shared food? with another part?? for the first time??? like. Ate Together???#idk i always heard/saw other systems talk about doing stuff like that. like doing Things Together.#and i was just kinda like... :/// when i'd see it bc i didnt know what the Fuck they were talking about because we dont communicate for shi #so. I Suppose There Was Some Envy There. Perchance. (<- you cant just say ''perchance'' /ref)#usually ''doing things together'' means one alter doing something while another yells from somewhere about how much they want to die lmao #or the ''thing'' we do together is fight about what we want to do #but now.... i have experienced..... the mythical ''system bonding''............. feels good...................#..... i hope they come back again soon to share food again... 🥺#idek who it was so. i guess ill just get the same food out occasionally and be like ''pspspspspspsps''--#going to achieve internal communication via feral cat techniques

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nowendil · 7 days

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#sorry to vent post yet again the pms is pms-ing. i am ultimately in the end ok and this too shall pass etc #cw pet death #UNNA IS FINE no worries #i just. i just really miss Pulmu. my baby my sweet old lady. jesus fucking christ #i just. idk i still hold a lot of regret over her last months. i loved her so much I DID but no amount of love #and money and guilt and open mouth sobbing could make her not Old and Sick.#i just refused to see that because i wanted her to be alright so badly #i feel so bad about letting my feelings go over her comfort. i'm so sorry baby i shouldnt have hung on to you as long as i did #of i could change one thing about the whole of world's history it would be that. so you wouldnt have to die scared in a hospital #but i cant do that. i just have to live with the memory #usually i try not to be too hard on myself about it. first of all because beating myself up about it doesnt change anything #and also because i recognize that i was profoundly mentally ill about the whole thing. (not joking)#like i genuinely dont think i have ever felt and been worse than i did when Pulmu was old and sick. i wasnt thinking clearly.#i should have been but i wasnt.#it has been 1 year and about 8 months since her passing and still sometimes i dont know what the hell to do with all that grief #some days i'm completely fine and i can talk about her without problems. and some days i sob into my pillow feeling like i just got shot #ah well. nothing to it but to keep on trucking #i hope she's fine wherever she is.

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dollgutted · 2 months

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so my tumblr front page has a lot of ghostface stuff for obvious reasons, he's obviously a big fave of mine and i follow a lot of ghostie lovin' accounts, as well as following the ghostface tag. typical stuff. but i. every time i see live action ghostface i cannot fucking help but think of that poor fucking scare actor who was dressed as ghostface at the haunt i went to last year.

important details: i am a 4'9 man and despite being a horror lover and connoisseur, i do not handle irl horror very well. that is to say, i'm chicken shit. i'm a fucking baby. i cry and hide behind my friends at haunts. i love going! don't get me wrong! i love going so much because i love being scared but also my fear reaction isn't to fight, flee, or freeze, it's to fawn n cry, baby, that's how i do it. but it's always like "wow that was fun!" after the haunt, yanno? it's scary but it's not real so it's not traumatizing or anything, it's just like, "haha man i am weak let's go again next year", whatever yanno. those details out of the way, if you know ANYTHING about haunts, you know seasoned scare actors are usually pretty good at telling who the scaredy cat is, and a lot of times, that's the easy target. some will go for the one they can tell is already fuckin tweaking lmao. and boy, is it not hard to tell with me.

so let me set the scene: it's 11PM, dark as shit, i'm dressed like a fucken slut bc i always gotta dress up for haunts, if i'm gonna cry i wanna look hot doin' it yanno. got my bunny hat on, for emotional support (doesn't everyone have a hat w/ bunny ears for emotional support?). i'm clinging to my friends shirt while they're dragging me through this corn maze. i hear something crunch behind us and instinctively cling tighter. i know something is about to happen and i'm NOT going to like whatever it is. i'm anticipating a loud noise. a scream. someone to jump out.

LO AND FUCKING BEHOLD, who other than ghostface is suddenly fucking beside me. ME. this haunt isn't super strict about invasion of personal fucking space, it's not officially no touch but most of them won't really touch you. this guy, though, oh no. he says nothing, that'd be out of character of course, but i am staring. wide eyed. just looking up at him. my friends feel me pause. they turn back. THEY START LAUGHING. THEY ARE ANTICIPATING.

i am truly frozen, i am just looking at this man when he moves to press his (obviously fake) knife into my throat, tilting my chin up a little bit with it. i cannot fucking. i cannot function. i GIGGLE. i am a grown man and i giggle like a schoolgirl who's crush just picked up their dropped pencil for them. I GIGGLED. this man tenses, he did NOT expect that reaction. my friends are fucking cackling. this scare actor has been thrown for a loop. he once more says nothing, removes the knife, stares down at me for a solid thirty seconds, and then WALKS AWAY.

GHOSTFACE SCARE ACTOR IF YOURE OUT THERE I AM SO SORRY. I DID NOT MEAN TO MAKE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE I SINCERELY DID NOT BUT I LOVE GHOSTFACE PLS UNDERSTAND YOU MADE A DREAM COME TRUE THAT NIGHT AND I STILL THINK ABOUT IT A YEAR LATER I WOULD APOLOGIZE IF I COULD BUT I WILL NEVER GO BACK TO THAT HAUNT EVER AGAIN OUT OF EMBARRASSMENT.

#this isnt even the most embarrassing interaction ive had at a haunt either #i have a TALENT for embarrassing myself at haunts #now that i think about it every haunt ive ever gone to #ive had smth either embarrassing or unfortunate happen #youd think id stop going #but its sm fun lmao #ghostface #scream #haunt #scare actor #pls if ur out there i am deeply sorry sir #but also never talk to me again i literally cannot handle the shame #i cannot fucking believe i giggled i am so fucking sorry you were trying to scare me bro and like i #wrong person?#i am so sorry #i wrecked your vibe #i did not mean to #hopefully you scared some other folks that night #ill die in my hole of shame lmao

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obnoxiousarcade · 3 months

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im thinking again

#ive been dealt the bad hand; the worse hand; the hand from the arm from the body #im just.....okay #Well aaaa its weird #nothing anyone says to me is to *me*#which is fair-- no one knows me. but i do wish i got it. i dont know #the passing of time is still my worst enemy #i love everyone so much. itssssssweird.#if youre following these posts and saw the last one: i think i am still gonna die soon. awwh man. i dunno #but i have no reason to go on truthfully and i dont feel like finding one #im tired and sad OK?#i do want an acknowledgement again #and if you're following these posts im going to do the same thing i did last time and talk to the three tumblr blogs:#1. hi. i really like you. i admit it. j think youre really cool and all. uh okay im supposed to ask a question so here; how are you? well i #hope. k dont know. i havent been reading up like i should be and as for the second blog im talking to here i also havent been reading up lik #e i should im very sorry. i will make that journal again though.#and third blog: hi!! i still have no clue how to do that one thing but youve really gotten me into the hypothetical idea of differences base #f off of like ...area. the thing you said about that one thing.! i javwnt been doing much about it but thinkin but you know thinkin is fun.#i do want to do reading on it but ive been very sad lately and i cannot be bothered #this is really fun talking to people like this. um #youre very cool blog one ive been becoming a big fan of you again #blog two.if you see this: i want you-- I'm sayin that to specify that I'm talking to you. but i dont. anyway: uh. oh no i forgot what i was #gonna say #okay here's to not talking to anyone particular:#i want to do drugs. its the only way ill be able to handle all this.but i... oh hey i have melatonin!!#hmmmmmm #idk #it just puts me to sleep and i hate sleeping cause im always having bad dreams-- both nightmares and just dreams that Suck-- but...... im #desperate.#okay im gonna take a normal dose and just keep it together i hope #I hate sleeping

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bbq-potato-chip · 3 months

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unpopular opinion takasugi is boring esp after the shogun assasination arc im sorry i just dont like him

#bro has NOTHING he has NOTHING going on im tired of pretending hes deep #he was supposed to die in shogun assasination . i gotta live my truth #after all that arc was supposed tp be the last one but then they stretched it out #if he died there i wouldve been chiller with him but bro is STILL alive and the utsuro thing is just. weird #i dont think he really makes sense #like everybody else DOES which is what gets me #anyway i dont like to complain bc out of ALL OF THE BULL i have suffered as shonen watcher this is nothing #but i go into the tag and its all “ooh takasugi takasugi we all love takasugi” im sooooo tired of this guy please can we talk about anyone #can we talk about like. kagura. hijikata. gintoki???? shinpachi??? kaguras family??? KATSURA??? please please im begging yalll pleaseeeee #tbf its like the same three poeple in there i didnt realize that the fandom was so small but STILL #like. no hate to anyone that likes him but personally i find him both boring and inconsistent as a character....sorry...#it gets me especially because literally everyone else is . really interesting? except him?#if everyone else was not rlly THAT interesting and takasugi remained the same i dont think i'd mind so much but like.#sorry im just like............hmm............#maybe ill watch him die and i'll be all “oh nooooo taksugi nooo” but like. thats highly unlikely #sorry did not mean to rant so much but like...........hes so overrated ugh #he doesnt even have cool sword powers or cool outfit or even something gross going on. hes not even a little freak hes too normie

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possiblytracker · 1 year

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me (only sober one in the conversation but tired out of my mind and equally lacking a filter): i thibk my.friends are mad at me

one of the five absolutely shitfaced 15-17 year old cousins also sitting round the campfire at the family gathering, taking it in turns to drink straight out a huge bottle of costco margarita mix where the adults are pretending not to see at 11pm on a sunday night: bruhhh have you tried going into the woods and hitting things with a big stick til you feel better

another absolutely shitfaced 15-17 year old cousin: i wish someone would hit ME with a big stick til I feel better :(

#alcohol /#drinking /#ask to tag??#weekend was eventful #like 30+ people turned up for this fucking party its the most relatives ive seen in one place since 2018 #there was no hitting people with big sticks but someone did get pushed off a trampoline into a nettle patch #which i was not present for i went to bed early(ish). but funny nonetheless #my brother is a BAD INFLUENCE he just kept handing out beers to the cousins his age and getting them absolutely sloshed #people who like. hardly ever drink or even never have before #so the late night campfire was an Interesting Time #very irresponsible he got in so much trouble over it bc hes only allowed to drink if hes responsible about it..#which means not peer pressuring other 16 year olds.#several of which said later they dont remember anything after 11pm????? guys your LIVERS. thats NOT SAFE #im still on my anxiety bullshit tho i have a presentation to turn in Tomorrow Morning and i have no meds and am tired as fuck #and i DO kinda think people could possibly be mad at me but im just. not thinking abt that right now i have enough on my mind <3 ill die <3 #i miss my friends im a wet shaking animal but if i talk to anyone and turns out they ARE mad i will evaporate into a fine mist i am sorry

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stellacadente · 4 months

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and that's on top of pinning my distress and suffering and the awful time i'm going thru on the fact i'm on hrt

#why are cis people so obsessed with our transition when it has nothing to do with the situation #why does every therapist psychiatrist and other professional keep asking me if i've “fully” transitioned #if i see any huge side effects #if i find it hard to adjust to changes in my body (it's been 4 years btw)#and then when i try and tell them hrt is going well and i don't have any problem in that regard #they ignore me and keep saying it's hard to deal with your body changing even if you wanted it to and it's understandable to be struggling #literally so so tired of this. you guys aren't even listening to me. you guys don't care about me #you only care about your weird beliefs that hrt is harmful and you're so uncomfortable with my transness (always have been) that you don't #even want to help me for real you just want to have the satisfaction of saying see i was right see you're suffering bc of your “choice” to #be like this #well honestly i don't know who would ever choose to ask for help when you either pay lots of money or maybe get lucky or pay more money and #try again until you hit jackpot or just get no help just transphobia from public healthcare #i'm tired. i'm so tired. and i don't know how to stand up for myself. i'm sorry i wish i was one of those trans or fat people who fight lik #hell to get the respect they deserve but i'm just a scared traumatized mentally ill person who struggles to talk to people #so i just get stuck in these feelings of helplessness and no wonder i let myself reach my limit and would rather die instead

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todayisafridaynight · 1 year

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twitter having 'national girlfriend day' trend tonight is so funny like how did they know i was thinking of masato

#snap chats #he's still my toxic girlfriend sorry #i was sitting by the road today and being emo As Per Usual and i thought about comin on here like #'maybe if i looked at pictures of my evil toxic girlfriend ill feel better'#maybe i should just draw him... idk im not really feeling like. EXISTING tonight #i keep hoping ill die from high blood pressure soon and its just not happening like cmon....... dont play with me like that blood pressure.#ok bye im gonna. idk.#drink matcha ig #i called my dad just to say hi because im trying to do that more and i just ended up crying like a BABY #and he just told me to eat cause he knows me and he knows i hate myself and that means i Wont eat 😔#i mean he said a LOT more obviously but yk.. the eating part's relevant since im talking about just drinking matcha and calling it a night #prrroobbbabblyyy not the best hting to do.... not when thi smatcha apparently got creamer and sugar in it The Fuck #I DIDNT KNOW THAT my disappointment is immeasurable... i just wanted pure matcha tyvm...#maybe i should start odering it online since i know i wont find any locally...#but those are plans for when i have money and dont feel like lying on the side of the road #for now uhhhhhhhhhhhhh i GUESS i'll have tea... and quiche... so i dont disappoint my dad....#he'd never know but i'll feel bad.... ok bye...#we'll see what i do in the next couple hours but one things for certain i WILL think of my evil toxic girlfriend <- masato

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heartbrake-hotel · 1 year

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Ugh. You won't believe this. I'm sorry to bug you, but I just needed to vent.

I saw some idiot on twitter saying that when E met Priscilla he had an eleven year old girl living with him in Germany. They mentioned Scotty Moore said that in his book so I looked it up. What he said was at the time E met Cilla, he had an "even younger German girl" (his words) living in the house with his father and grandmother. Except...well, I can't find any proof of this; there’s no evidence nor mention of this girl (or how old she was) anywhere else in the book nor in any other books written about him. No proof he had anyone else like that living with him in Germany.

So I don’t think that claim is true. Where do people come up with this stuff anyway? How do you not get into an argument with these idiots? Because it's super annoying.

ugh, believe it or not, baby, im not surprised at all. but you could never bug me !!! 💖 sorry it took me so long to answer this, but rest assured i haven't calmed down about this any since you first sent it 😅

a couple notes‐ honestly, i'm inclined to believe scotty. NOT TWITTER to clarify lol.. eleven seems young for him even if you are looking to view e through the most unflattering light possible 😬 but it seems likely to me that he had another teenage girl maybe not uh. officially on the lease or anything but staying over most nights ! more than ONE even sounds plausible.. we all know that someone didn't like his bed cold.!

people who claim to hate elvis sure spend an awful lot of time reviling him on the internet, especially by regurgitating half-remembered anecdotal evidence without citing their sources. 🙄 on the other hand, it's also easy to fall into the trap of too-faithful elvis historian; by that i mean that the fact that so much of his life is documented sometimes makes us complacent in our belief that if it can't be verified by multiple primary sources that it must not have happened. but we can't always say, and getting too involved as if the historical accuracy of one particular proposed event is the end-all be-all of elvis fandom can get exhausting.!

i wouldn't be surprised to find out either way, that this was or wasn't true. but you're free to make up your own mind, and if it distresses you, then fwiw i think you Totally have a leg to stand on affirming it never happened, like you said !! ultimately, it doesn't have much bearing on right now- if you like elvis, this vague and nebulous criticism probably isn't the thing that'll make you stop liking elvis, and if you hate elvis, you're probably determined to keep doing that regardless.

regarding the twitdiots- while looking into this claim i found a lady on there who legitimately believed that agent elvis tells the true story of how e was experimented on and mind controlled into drug abuse by the government.. like she said That with her whooole chest. so i don't put much stock in public opinion over there 😂😂💀

i want to fight those people extremely often (they're not just on twitter, either- it seems to have died down a little praise GOD but especially in early days after the movie there was a wave of ppl on here who would put their elvis hate in the main tags. WHICH DROVE ME BATTY), but i come from the "don't feed the trolls" era of fandom. as much as id like to rip 'em a new one when they rehash the same two issues over and over and OVER again ad nauseum, i content myself with the fact that they're living a pathetic existence in which they actively choose to fill their life with something they dislike for... no discernable reason.?

no one who spends their time bringing up a dead celebrity at all opportunities just to bash them is actually open to a discussion. and i do think there is a discussion to be had- his life was certainly very troubled, and i think there are a lot of nuanced issues that benefit from being spoken about openly !!!

but i like to debate bc i like to WIN- so jackasses tend to be a waste of my time 😘

#ask #if anyone DOES decide to start fighting idiots tho tag team me !!!#ill pop in for a few rounds 👊💥#i try to just move on without paying it too much attention #and everyone on here is so lovely its a good distraction !!!#i dont think theres any harm in choosing to see the good in people #esp dead people im sorry #like either im right and elvis was a flawed but kind person (all i get is bragging rights)#or im wrong and he was a dirtbag (all i get is . literally nothing)#when i die and meet him ill send yall word but i think we already know what the answer is 😘#but either way it doesnt have much objective bearing on my life..#as long as im deluding myself into writing fanfic anyway who cares right?? 🤪#like who cares if i choose to use him as a vessel to make myself happier #i DO truly believe he was a good person and i think weve p much reached the point where #no one but angie marchese herself could talk me out of that #🙃🙃🙃#NOTE THIS LOGIC DOES *NOT* APPLY TO PPL WHO MAKE FLOWER CROWN EDITS OF SERIAL KILLERS

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