#i dont think theres any harm in choosing to see the good in people

[heartbrake-hotel]

Ugh. You won't believe this. I'm sorry to bug you, but I just needed to vent.

I saw some idiot on twitter saying that when E met Priscilla he had an eleven year old girl living with him in Germany. They mentioned Scotty Moore said that in his book so I looked it up. What he said was at the time E met Cilla, he had an "even younger German girl" (his words) living in the house with his father and grandmother. Except...well, I can't find any proof of this; there’s no evidence nor mention of this girl (or how old she was) anywhere else in the book nor in any other books written about him. No proof he had anyone else like that living with him in Germany.

So I don’t think that claim is true. Where do people come up with this stuff anyway? How do you not get into an argument with these idiots? Because it's super annoying.

ugh, believe it or not, baby, im not surprised at all. but you could never bug me !!! 💖 sorry it took me so long to answer this, but rest assured i haven't calmed down about this any since you first sent it 😅

a couple notes‐ honestly, i'm inclined to believe scotty. NOT TWITTER to clarify lol.. eleven seems young for him even if you are looking to view e through the most unflattering light possible 😬 but it seems likely to me that he had another teenage girl maybe not uh. officially on the lease or anything but staying over most nights ! more than ONE even sounds plausible.. we all know that someone didn't like his bed cold.!

people who claim to hate elvis sure spend an awful lot of time reviling him on the internet, especially by regurgitating half-remembered anecdotal evidence without citing their sources. 🙄 on the other hand, it's also easy to fall into the trap of too-faithful elvis historian; by that i mean that the fact that so much of his life is documented sometimes makes us complacent in our belief that if it can't be verified by multiple primary sources that it must not have happened. but we can't always say, and getting too involved as if the historical accuracy of one particular proposed event is the end-all be-all of elvis fandom can get exhausting.!

i wouldn't be surprised to find out either way, that this was or wasn't true. but you're free to make up your own mind, and if it distresses you, then fwiw i think you Totally have a leg to stand on affirming it never happened, like you said !! ultimately, it doesn't have much bearing on right now- if you like elvis, this vague and nebulous criticism probably isn't the thing that'll make you stop liking elvis, and if you hate elvis, you're probably determined to keep doing that regardless.

regarding the twitdiots- while looking into this claim i found a lady on there who legitimately believed that agent elvis tells the true story of how e was experimented on and mind controlled into drug abuse by the government.. like she said That with her whooole chest. so i don't put much stock in public opinion over there 😂😂💀

i want to fight those people extremely often (they're not just on twitter, either- it seems to have died down a little praise GOD but especially in early days after the movie there was a wave of ppl on here who would put their elvis hate in the main tags. WHICH DROVE ME BATTY), but i come from the "don't feed the trolls" era of fandom. as much as id like to rip 'em a new one when they rehash the same two issues over and over and OVER again ad nauseum, i content myself with the fact that they're living a pathetic existence in which they actively choose to fill their life with something they dislike for... no discernable reason.?

no one who spends their time bringing up a dead celebrity at all opportunities just to bash them is actually open to a discussion. and i do think there is a discussion to be had- his life was certainly very troubled, and i think there are a lot of nuanced issues that benefit from being spoken about openly !!!

but i like to debate bc i like to WIN- so jackasses tend to be a waste of my time 😘

[pandoratheprocrasticreator]

Oh god now that toh ends with luz being able to travel between worlds ppl are using that to dunk on amphibia. And now that belos died ppl are using that to dunk on su.

They are different shows people! They have different themes! Amphibia is a classic take on isekai as escapism! Marcy went to amphibia to avoid her real life and while she had fun she didnt mature until after she accepted she needed to embrace change in her life! Anne matured in amphibia bc she always recognized that she has her own life to get back to! Sasha matured after realizing that too! Leaving amphibia for good means to embrace the step out of childhood! Something thats inevitable for everyone!

The owl house is about finding a community in midst of ostracization! Luz stayed in the boiling isles because she found people who accepted her quirks! The boiling isles was in danger from a bigot and luz helps her new community defeat him! Its a very queer story! Community is the center of the story so it makes sense for luz to be able to go back to the boiling isles since shes maintaining her place in the community!

Steven universe is about choosing to be kind! Its that everyone has their own specific traumas that they can overcome with the right support! Its about surviving in a world of bigots at any cost, even if it you have to work with the bigots to carve out a space for the people you love! Because people like you exist and theres nothing anyone in power can do about it! Its also a very queer story! The diamonds can never stamp out the off colors because they will always be there! Steven works with the diamonds not because he likes them but because they can improve the world for his family if only he could get through to them! Hes rewarded for choosing to be kind with success because the theme of the show is hope! Hope that anyone can change! But even though the diamonds stop being fascist steven still doesnt like them because its not about forgiveness! Its about fixing things! Stevens just polite about it!

The owl house starts off with the assumption that everyone can change but its not about the potential its about the willingness to change! The focus is on belos, whos had every chance to turn his life around but will never admit that hes wrong! And the show posits that if someone isnt willing to change theyre not worth helping! Its not about whether or not the character is fascist its about if theyre willing to stop being fascist! Several characters stop being fascist and are welcomed by the characters with open arms belos just wasnt one of them! Several characters clean up their acts but dont adequately address the previous harm they did and are STILL fully forgiven eventually! For toh forgiveness is paired with fixing things you just need to give it time!

And theres an argument that some of these shows didnt do their themes well. If you wanted to portray amphibia as an escapism world that the girls need to leave behind to get to their richer futures then having them get such caring found families go against that by giving them a potential of a good life in the isekai world. Steven universe uses the diamonds as metaphors for mental illness and relationships but its hard to stick with that when you also need to consider the countless other gems they hurt. I think its also fair if people prefer one theme over another.

But a lot of stuff i see comparing these shows just go over surface similarities? Like oh shit! These two shows have the same character archetypes! They have the same inciting incident! This must mean that theyre exactly the same in everything but names and artstyle and are trying to say the exact same things! Like. No. Sometimes,,,,,two stories,,,,,,can talk about two different things,,,,,,,

[notthestarwar]

Jango part 2

The center of every tragedy is the image of a human being who has already died but keeps talking 

-Michael Kinnucan

anne carson grief lessons/tumblr:romance your demons/tumblr:louisegluckpdf anne carson/tumblr:meerweinchen1993/tumblr:smallfrogpleasedtomeetyou/ tumblr:borderlineangel222/ Michael Kinnucan /moby dick/tumblr:allright/annecarson antigonnick/breaking bad/ antigone jean anouilh trans.lewis galantiere

Fox

Cody

Boba

Kix

Obi Wan

Anakin (1 2 3 4 5)

Jango (1 2 3 4 5 6)

Clones

Is Jango a father to the clones

some more on Jango

so like survivors guilt is a pretty key part of my view of jango. i think that in surviving, first his parents and sister (as far as he knew), then Jaster, then the rest of the Haat’Mandoade, and this all happening in really short sucession followed by a majorly traumatic few years when he’s in slavery, would mean that he doesnt really get a chance to process any of his grief. he’s getting all those normal irrational thoughts all of us get when we lose someone (could i have saved them, what could i have done differently, what if i’d gone in their place) but just isnt given any space to work through them, which i think would result in him clinging on to some of them and them kind of getting magnified, and almost mutating in to something even more harmful that he carries for all of those years.

so the thing about this survivors guilt is i like to think that he has this idea that by surviving, he has stolen the life from them. had he died on the farm, maybe his sister would have survived. had he gone in jasters place, maybe jaster would have survived, and he’s convinced, convinced, that this survival is wasted on him. he isnt a good person. had one of them survived, they would have done great things. but all he’s good for is getting people around him killed. i think by the time he gets off the spice ship, he is beginning to see his constant ability to survive against the odds, as something of a curse. he’s cursed to watch everyone around him die, every time.

he considers himself to be half dead and because he believes this, he doesnt consider himself to have the kind of life that he might control. he doesnt get wants, he doesnt get to choose how things go, its just about seeking this vengance for those that did die, as way of apology for having survived them. her has so much choice, and we see him make the worst ones time and time again, but i dont believe he really considered himself to have any say in any of it. he should have died all those years ago, but he didnt so now he’s just waiting for the inevitable, he’s waiting for fate to finally catch up to him, once it’s done torturing him by killing everyone else first.

he doesnt think he has a choice, so theres no real accountability there for what he does. he doesnt think this is a mission he’s chosen, rather, its the only way he can do right by the dead and so, he is ruthless in his execution. all the love he had for them is fed in to this violence as he sees ‘their deed’ done. but obviously. they are gone. whatever he might think, it is jango calling the shots. nobody asked him to do any of this, he just decided.

i think that Boba comes from a moment of weakness, and from there, a spiral of many more. he doesnt think that he gets to want things. but he asks for Boba and once he has him he cant let go. i think that the idea of loving someone scares him, Boba is only another person he can potentially lose. he’d sworn to never love again and yet, here he is with Boba and now he has him, he can’t possibly give him up.

i think that in a way, jango always knew that he was going to die. he was mixed up in the kind of thing that no person survives. he was a loose end and he was far too intelligent not to realise that.i dont think that he saw any alternative to him dying and i dont think he necessarily grieved the fact that he was leaving Boba alone. i think for Jango, he didnt think he was particularily good for Boba, he just wasnt strong enough to let him go. people that jango loves die, so i think that he would consider dying first, to be the only way he could save Boba. i think that he would consider his own death being the only way he could set Boba free, as to walk away from a love he considered selfish, would take a strength that he didnt believe himself to have.

i think that by the time he dies, this whole world view he’s build up is crumbling around him. because his love for Boba, serves as a conflict when it comes to the belief that he is a dead man walking, a ghost. after being recruited as the template, he builds himself a maze of rational as for how he is doing the right thing, the only thing, how he has no choice, but i think that as the years go on its getting harder and harder to maintain that. it cant last forever and trying to keep it all standing, trying to maintain that suspense of belief, is tiring. he knows it cant last and so in a way, he welcomes death. its been a long time coming.

[system-of-a-feather]

[A vent and flow of consciousness letter to the system and those that might relate]

I don't think it is fair that those who have become high functioning because of sheer survival often find themselves in the situation where being mentally ill becomes an option and thing they can turn on and off via dissociation and repression

Because when you get to that point, it no longer becomes a "you are mentally ill and because you can "choose to not be disabled" you should choose to NEVER be disabled and anytime you turn that off to vent out the passive build up, you are choosing to be mentally ill and disabled and you dont get the same consideration or care as those "not so fortunate"."

If I could not have a mental breakdown / meltdown that could stress and hurt those around me, then I should choose to right? If I know how to turn it off, not turning it off is reflective of me being an inconsiderate and abusive piece of shit right? But at the same time, when that is always an option, when do we get the chance to let the inherent mental illness we have and all its ugliness get a chance to air out so we can heal and live?

When do we get the courtesy that "less functioning" individuals - those who never developed the ungodly ability to cancel out any genuine experience and repress it so heavily - get? When do people start giving us a break and the understanding that we have over 5 Very Serious Mental health issues when we slip up and struggle? When is the decision to NOT cancel our experiences stop being considered a reflection of our personal character and values?

No amount of pain or personal issue excuses abusive or harmful behavior that is true. Nobody on any form of coping gets to use it as an excuse, but no one reassures those that are high function and "low support needs" that its fair to struggle and fair to take support and care. It's okay to NOT be high functioning and that it should not be a reflection of your personal character. It's okay to be sick and make an effort like other people have to inorder to make amends.

High functioning labels are bullshit. Low functioning labels are bullshit - thered a reason aspergers was thrown out of the book.

Just because we look good doesn't mean we aren't sick. Just because people buy into and cant see past the compulsive external beauty and perfection and hold you to a higher standard than your peers doesn't mean you should hold yourself up to their blind vision of who you are. You deserve the same level of respect and understanding your peers get. You aren't special because you look special. Those that treat you as some messiah, some perfected angel and saint of life - thats their issue.

If they deserve the patience you give, you do too. If they deserve the understanding that sometimes people are stupid and fuck up regardless of their intent, then you deserve that too.

If they deserve the benefit of doubt that when they make a mistake and hurtful decision that you assume and accept that they are just human, so do you

And anyone who says otherwise? Anyone who looks at you and judges you? Assumes that you aren't doing your best? Anyone who holds you to a higher standard than your peers? Fuck em. They can apologize, they can make their mistake for holding up the double standard and struggling, but if - even after hearing how unfair the double standard is, they insist that you are not due the same courtesy and benefits of doubt you hand out to others?

Well, fuck em.

You can be hurt even when you might have been in the wrong, even if you should have known better, whem you make a mistake. Honest mistakes don't have blame. You don't judge others when honest mistakes are made, they should return that lack of judgement.

If they disagree with this basic principle, then we aren't compatible and they aren't needed to be kept around.

If they don't like the real you, the you with ALL your garbage, then they dont deserve the usual you. Let them be gone, let it be a good riddance.

I'd rather live alone with myselves than live with those that demand we hold ourselves to their perceived standard of functioning based on our trauma sourced coping.

XIV said, if people hate you for being angry, for being cringe, for caring about something, then fuck them

I say, if people judge you for doing less than your best, for being vulnerable and weak, for making mistakes that are inherent to what they knew when they chose to be involved with someone with an extensive amount of hurt and pain to heal, then fuck them.

We do our best, we usually are astoundinf, amazing, an inspiration, goals for many and that can hold true while leaving space for us being Ugly and Hurt. There is no value in feigned strength built on false premises. The strongest strength comes from authentically knowing your pain, holding it up and persisting against all the ugly.

No radical acceptance exists without radicall acceptance of your wounds.

XIV says you can be ugly and hated and still love yourself and feel beautiful in your ugly ways.

I say you can admit you feel ugly and hated and still be beautiful.

And you know what? Riku says the world is beautiful - that everything in the world and everyone in the world - it is inherently beautiful.

Nothing needs to change about anyone to have beauty in the moment.

[qrichas]

my thoughts abt the bbh thing on twitter under the cut.

sorry for bringing discourse discussions in your dash somehow but i want to let you guys know that, as much as i will still be engaging on some q!bbh and 4halo content here on tumblr, im still in disagreement with/very disappointed on cc!bbh for defending d and his statement he made today. he might have info we dont know that will be soon revealed but that doesnt excuse the fact d has done other shitty stuff. and while i know cc!bbh isnt a bad person per se and, as he himself said, is very against grooming, he took a shot on his own foot by tweeting that before anything came out and for still wanting to believe on someone that wont change and had done harmful things that are still as bad. im choosing to giving him time to see if somehow, cc!bad can redeem himself, but if things dont change, i'm dropping him completly. (even if its gonna hurt me because i genuinely liked watching him, and altho i never put ccs/streamers/famous people i like in a high pedestal bc i know theyre human that can make mistakes, its still very sad and disappointing things turned out this way)

as for the q!bbh/4halo thing, i myself am able to separate the character from the creator, since cc!bad stated multiple times that his character acts in a way thats completly different from himself. >for now<, im still able to consume this kind of media while being aware of what he said and how it made me feel. if youre not, for any reasons be it serious or not, thats okay, and feel free to unfollow me if youd like, im not gonna stop you and your sentiment is valid. but i wanna give a heads up first so theres wont be a bad time for us all bc of miscommunication.

and to reinforce once again: i hate d/dteam and i never supported or will support anything theyve done. i will not tolerate or welcome d/dteam stans on my blog, and i will not defend people who agree with them either. d is a groomer, racist, misoginistic individual and i openly hate him and ill always do so.

i hope, as a viewer and a part of cc!bbhs community, that things change and he thinks more abt this situation, also for his own good as a person. but it's a thin ice that can crumble very easily.

[just-more-trolls]

dumb fantroll ask meme, odd numbers for wyllow

Ok so this is gonna be Long’un I’m gonna put everything under cut

1.  Biggest pet peeves? How much do they annoy you? Are they bad enough to be a deal breaker if someone you were interested did them?

“okay so..im a very patient person and i understand self-loathing..”

“but i have my limits..im not here for a pity-party please dont lament how much of a pathetic asshole you are expecting me to help you only to ignore any advice i give you and continue to lament your shitty life where nothing good happens ever ok???”

“...ok so that was..a rant...uhm...my pet peeve is when people don’t want to crawl out of the pit they’re in..or downright refuse to..mainly because they like the attention..”

3. What are your turn on’s turn off’s? 

“tha-..thats a little personal hello?????”

“i choose to not answer that!!”

5. What is your least favorite and favorite parts of your body? Any feature you pride yourself on? Then least favorite would you change it if you could? 

“my favorite parts? uhm..my horns i guess? and my hips”

“my least favorite are my eyes because i need glasses to see..id change that if i could i guess”

7. What is your least favorite food and why? 

“i cant stand bitter greens like baby spinach..or kale..its just not what my tastebuds like..”

“and venison makes me legitimately ill..like bad stomach ache levels of sick..”

9. What are any tics you might have? Any nervous habits? 

“under extreme amounts of stress ive been told i get the antlerbeast-in-headlights look complete with freezing..”

“im real bad about picking at the skin on my fingers especially if im real anxious..to the point of bleeding sometimes..but it keeps me from picking on the threads of my clothes until theyre unraveling..”

11. What is your earliest memory? Is it a happy or a sad one. 

“my EARLIEST memory is of finding my ancestors hive..and consequently also finding my ancestors journals on herbology and botany..and its a happy one because its what jumpstarted my own career in it~”

13. If you could have any super power what would it be? 

“i want to command plants!!”

15. What would you do with the ability to see ghosts? Would they scare you or would you be interested in them? 

“id ask them about their life..or help them move on if they dont realize theyre dead..id also keep journals of everything i was told; preservation of history and all that”

17. How good a liar are you? How often do you lie to others. 

“i cant lie for the life of me..like ill withhold the truth but straight up lie?? id die from the guilt.......or by the hands of whomstever i lied to”

19. How far would you go to be perfect? Are you ok with flaws? 

“perfection is an impossibility”

“...that being said uhm..that depends on the..flaw i think..and flaws are subjective..that being said if a flaw is actively harmful to the individual or anyone around them im not as okay..if that makes sense?”

21. How much do you sleep? What is your typical night time routine? 

“a full eight hours~! night time routine is typical: wash up, brush up, jammies on.. i have a cup of tea before bed and i read a little until im done”

23. How good are you with choices? Is it easy to make decisions or do you struggle with them? 

“i...suck at choices if im under pressure to make them.. decisions arent too hard but if there’s weight to them its definitely a lot harder on me..”

25. What is the worst thing you’ve done to someone? Do you regret it? 

“..........theres not a night goes by i dont regret it”

27. How good are you with computers? How much do you use them in every day life? 

“fairly often! i mean im no savant but i know my way around a palmhusk or a tablet”

29. If you knew you had less then a sweep left to live how would you use it? 

“probably by myself.. id quietly wrap up my assets..tend to my garden up until’ my final night before laying myself in the largest patch of flowers and herbs to be consumed by the earth as a way to give back”

31. Which would you prefer you dying before your loved ones, or them dying before you?

“uhm..probably them dying before i would..to spare them the grief”

33. What are your stances on the spectrum? 

“in a social standpoint or a biological standpoint??”

“biologically i lowkey enjoy the diversity..how each group has something unique to them like the lower spectrum of trolls having a higher possibility of psionics..or purples with chucklevoodoos..”

“socially i really wish there wasnt such a divide..and its not like we have a choice in the matter were forced based on our blood color to fall into a certain level of financial and social hierarchy as a form of control and division..”

“honestly if i could give away all my money and not automatically get a refill i would..”

35. If you were empress for a day what would you do? 

“upend the status quo and dismantle the hierarchy..”

“..also give lowbloods a lot of money to live comfortably so they can begin the careers they wanted to do but never had the means to do them”

37. What do you fear loosing most? A possession, your senses, loved one, ect?

“the thing i fear most is losing someones trust in me...to irreparably damage a relationship with no hope of returning...ha..”

39. What is your biggest dream in life and how far would you go to obtain it. 

“i dont know...im pretty content in my life as it is; i have my shop..my garden..my hobbies..i just wish i had someone to share all of this with i guess”

41. Are there any people in your life you miss? What would you do if you could see them again? 

“....apologize..”

43. Do you consider yourself a material troll? If giving up every thing you owned meant eternal happiness would you do it?

“as cluttered and material-filled as my hive is i could give it all up if it meant id find eternal happiness..”

“..that being said i do fear losing everything ive worked on because i..kind of lack a fallback plan..”

[quintiliusheartripper]

For that profession ask meme, as many of all the general and all the profession-specific questions you feel like doing for any OC of your choosing (because the only ones with names I can remember off the top of my head are Quint and Uriah (I think u have a Uriah??), but I don’t remember which professions they are 😅 Necro and engi, maybe?).

Quintilius:

(Doing what i havent done yet)

4. Quint would consider himself an expert. Maybe theres other necromancers who can do other spells better but when it comes to blood magic he is a master.

5. Only thing atypical would be using it for torture? Honestly that feels normal. Maybe its more his combat style that is more odd. He uses his magic to enhance his close combat fighting. Hes a charr who has had to adapt to a blood legion frontline. A lot of his magic uses self harming blood magic because of this.

6. I honestly dont know how others feel about him. I feel he doesnt care either way.

What matters more is how others view him and at one point would have been more about the way he is regarded by blood legion soldiers and the use of magic. The kodan are another thing entirely… he tries to hide it. (I see the kodans form of necromancy being more spirit based- more like the ritualists) and his mates dont like to see the gashes that come from his magic. He mostly works like a warrior who can go into a reaper shroud within kodan society.

Uriah:

1. Uriah did not exactly choose his profession but he was good at building things with scrap so when he started to grow into more masculine visual traits (he is intersex) his flame legion shaman of a shitty father pulled some strings to get him apprenticing under a engineer. Kytt did not want to be embarrassed by his cub doing womens work and while looking masculine but uriah has no magical ability.

2. Uriah did have a teacher! An engineer who taught him how to weld. He was a good teacher who took pity on the boy. Uriah would have a bit of a secret crush on him lol.

3. Uriah hasnt dabbled with other professions. Hes happy just being a pact welder.

4. I would say hes quite the expert in the way that uriah can take something and make it into something functional. However some may find him a novice for not knowing common stuff that your average iron legion engineer would know. He can macguiver a prosthetic arm or make a suit of armour to wear mecha style but he may do it in a way that others would normally stay away from.

5. The most atypical thing uriah would have done would be construct the steel cages for the flame legions to use on effigies.

6. Uriah is regarded as a weird little welder who seems scared of other charr engineers.

7. His first invention was taking left over scraps from the flame legion trash and making his mother arms. He continues to improve them- they currently are hollow and attune to her magic so she can move the fingers and wrists.

8. Excellent at being without his gadgets. He was born a fledgling engineer with trash and he can make do with anything. Its how he survived being in the first fleet to maguuma.

9. his engineering style tilts more to magitech. Its stuff that attunes to the users own magic. However he is planning to turn his eyes towards flame legion magic again and to using the kralk and aurene crystals as a energy source for his newest items.

10. Uriah is pretty conservative . He works as a pact welder helping keep up bases and his own personal pet projects are done with the utmost detail. Maybe burns and shocks at most. Minor stuff. His biggest regret and “mistake” would be when he was forced to make flame effigies, cages, chains, and other iron devices for gaharon to use.

Tryphon:

He is a revenant but ill also talk about his former profession as a gaurdian

1. He became a gaurdian because his mother was one and he also loves to help. He had a talent for it. He can boost peoples moral and he can protect you. He can teleport and be a key point that can turn the tide in pirate battles. He didnt not choose to become a revenant. He was reawoken with no memories of how he became one- just that he was now. (He died by his recently risen mother and was pulled back by a necromancer crewmate)

2. His mother was his teacher for being a gaurdian. She was always kind and proud of what she did, away from the legions and in love with the human she shared a deep bond with. He had no teacher for being a revenant. He had to learn that himself

3. Technically yea considering him going from gaurdian to revenant. However i dont imagine that he lost his former skills and still knows and uses some gaurdian skills.

4. Who is to say if he is a novice or a expert. What matters is he can save lives as a gaurdian and use his massive body to win his fights. Id say he was in the middle and close to being an expert just from experience for fighting. As a revenant he has enough of a grasp that with a massive draining of magic he can teleport his ship into the mists and back. His best skills are teleportations as a revenant and probably fairly novice with some exceptions.

5. His uses to transport his entire crew theough the mists to escape or to ravage and steal from the mist wars (wvw) that he thinks are pathetic capitalist excuses. (Says the pirate who steals something and makes a profit even if he sells the goods for cheaper than market pricing to people in need. He did give it away for free sometimes)

6. To be honest i dont know but he was well respected enough as a gaurdian.

Gaurdian questions:

7. To protect and to help the down trodden was his main conviction.

8. Protecting and healing his enemies and teleportation aspects of gaurdian were his main things. He has a big fuck you hammer and his 10ft and fat body to crush people with.

9. He wont be as quick and slippery but he will be competent without his magic just because of his charr body being a weapon in its own right.

10. Tryphon has a aggressive fighting style but can quickly switch to supportive with a flick of a teleportation spell.

Revenant questions:

7. He can channel the legends alright. Theres one that he knew personally in the past that haunts him and i imagine he has lost control but not in a rampage way and more in a drinking yourself unconscious kind of way. However with him being retired in his mainline story they are more harder to tamper down when he eyes something shiny.

8. All tryphons legends are not in game. They are famous pirates and mariners of the past. Like pirate dalvis in pvp, sykox steamshroud, cobiah a made up legendary skritt pirate, anyone you would hear about in lions arch history really. Along with one person he personally knew that haunts him but is it actually the mists or is it ptsd manifesting itself? Who knows

9. For tryphon the mists is a tool but also a place to plunder and explore. Sometimes he gets the urge to get himself back up and pirating to feel the mists energy in his fur but his spinal injury stops him from truely being like that again. He sometimes helps the pact because of his one husband (@velakthetraveller) is a medic that works in the mists.

10. Most of his relationships are cooperative. He is a jovial man who can easily make friends even if things have twisted a little to adversarial when he has to be a good charr and not steal anything not nailed down in the black citadel. Hes struggling to deal with the figure from his past

Lady Muisi:

1. muisi is a small 5ft chubby shroom sylvari who became a warrior to fight back against bullies and kidnappers haha

2. No teacher other than i guess what the tree gave her in knowledge upon awakening in the 2nd generation.

3. No dabbling but it does feel like spell breakers are in a way dabbling in something in its own way haha.

4. Some would probably consider her a novice since she doesn’t have a strong grasp on a lot of weapons but what she can use shes a expert. Daggers, axes. Her fists.

5. Her use of her profession isnt that abnormal i think.

6. Classic warriors from the norn and charr cultural perspective probably see her as weird. shes this small chubby priory sylvari who doesnt look like a warrior until she picks your ass up and throws you. Not as strange as it would be from an asura but she looks like she wont hurt a fly from the outside world.

7. Muisi incorporates a lot of magic and its how shes as strong as she is. Not only is she a spell breaker but shes also uses magic to give her that warrior super strength. She can pick up and throw a norn without a sweat.

8. Muisis weapon collection is small. Now if we talk about her book collection….

9. For casters and long ranged enemies she has counter magic and also throwing things. Eat a chair loser. Also she now has a pistol from her lover uriah so. Gun.

10. muisis raw physical strength without magic is… eh. She can lift heavy books and does some general normal stuff. Depending on what and how shes lifting shes stronger with some muscles than others. Now if you add that sweet sweet magic into her muscles she can pick up her 11ft charr lover Farren and chunky 6ft Uriah.

——

Might come back and add more. Maybe as a reblog or as a seperate post. I want to do the older generation’s: vytt, kytt, cruciata, and octavos as well as the next generation like quints cubs, muisis ans uriahs cubs, and tryphons cubs.

[cainightfics]

Are there any parallels between tyrelliot and griffguts that you want to talk about?

this is a good question! sorry it took me a while to answer.

theres three like... thematic categories where i think the two ships are similar:

ambition: both tyrell and griffith are sort of undone by their feelings getting in the way of their ambition. both of them are motivated by power (for different reasons ofc-- griffith wants to change society for the better, tyrells motivations are more self centered) and choose to navigate their way through the traditional path of acquiring power. for griffith, this means military strength and political schmoozing, for tyrell, this means economic power. their counterparts, on the other hand, dont really hold any regard for these power structures. guts and elliot both sort of march to the beat of their own drum and hold societal power structures in low regard.

fate and destiny: this is the big one, obviously. griffith seems to believe in fate to an extent, and guts wholeheartedly denies predestination in favour of making his own fate. one of the big themes of berserk seems to be that while events may be preordained, human will can occasionally overcome. with tyrelliot, tyrell believes in fate, but elliot doesnt. unlike berserk, we dont get any indication that fate is or isnt real. characters who believe in destiny or some higher cosmic power (tyrell, vera, whiterose) are simply used to contrast elliots destructive obsession with control. ideas of fate and destiny in mr robot essentially serve as stand ins for different ways of maladaptive thinking and delusion.

trauma: csa are big themes in both berserk and mr robot. childhood trauma is the source of elliots mental illness, as well as tyrells unhealthy pattern of relationships. both elliot and tyrell have boundary problems in opposite directions. elliot is secretive, distrusting, and obsessed with control-- hes a stalker who meddles in peoples lives from afar because he wants to save them. tyrell, on the other hand, seems to view himself as one with his partners. hes obsessed with working with elliot and being a "team," and hes eager to do whatever elliot tells him to, to the point where he shoots elliot because he thinks its what elliot wants. elliots identity problems come from sexual abuse that caused him to retreat entire inward and reject relationships, whereas tyrells childhood (which we dont know much about, but seems to have been bad) appears to have led to an overwhelming need for companionship and validation.

with griffguts, csa also factors in heavy. like elliot, guts is extremely averse to touch at first (especially with men), but his positive experiences with griffith begin to change that. with griffith, his experience of csa led him to think of himself as a commodity. i think tyrell thinks this of himself too-- he also uses sex to get what he needs, and, like griffith, he engages in patterns of self harm. both tyrell and griffith see themselves (to an extent) as tools to be used to seek their ambitious ends, whereas guts and elliot are more guarded and obsessed with autonomy.

[creacherkeeper]

im getting a little too in my family feels today and so INSTEAD of feeling those im just going to ramble for a second about why i fucking love paladin!aelwyn because. im. just like this i guess im coping leave me alone

cw for discussions of child abuse, maladaptive coping, drugs and alcohol, self harm, destructive tendencies, basically everything we see in canon and the implications

aelwyn is ... SO interesting to me because for as much of her interiority as we see, as much of her as we think we understand, as much as i could ramble about her character for hours, we know ALMOST NOTHING about her in actuality?? (besides ... one key thing)

(this is like 2k and probably incoherent someone please stop me)

okay. listen. almost everything we see aelwyn do in s1 is maladaptive rebellion against her parents and home life. the drinking, the drugs, the partying, perhaps some of kalvaxus (though i dont think we fully understand how much of that was forced on her as well, kalina WAS watching her when she was talking to adaine about it). you can say like, oh aelwyn is a party animal, she's impulsive, she makes risky decisions, she's bitchy and rude, and its like. okay but IS SHE ACTUALLY. because under her parents thumb she had an EXTREMELY limited amount of freedom, and usually when people are suffering from very little control over their life, they WILL act destructively over the tiny bit they can, either harming themselves or their environment or people lower than them in the pecking order, because in a way, that feels like a reclamation of autonomy. saying "you have so much power over me but can you stop me from hurting myself and destroying what you havent managed to claim yet?". its just like, kind of what human brains do and frequently has little to do with a persons actual personality or impulses, its just. desperate brains trying to control SOMETHING because autonomy is a fundamental human need and when thats taken away we get. very bad off. (this is one big reason eating disorders are SO common with abused kids.) so i think a lot of the s1 aelwyn we see is like. this is a very desperate, abused teenager "acting out" in the only way it is possibly somewhat safe for her to do so because, on a psychological level, the self destruction is weirdly the only emotional tether and its either this or just dissociate all the time (something we do see she has problems with in canon)

and yes, she did treat adaine horribly in s1. she fully did. obviously what we get in canon is what happens but a moment thats interesting to me is in episode 1 where adaine has attacked aelwyn several times, who either does nothing or just bounces it back, when she says "i never cast spells at you" and siobhan immediately retcons it and says "yes you do, all the time" (i havent gone back and watched this bit so i might be wording this wrong). obviously its an improv show and the canon is built between performers as they go, but that was interesting to me. that brennan hadnt intended for her to have fought back in that way. she definitely feeds into the emotional abuse from their parents and participates in all the toxicity there, but we know in canon that she did that because of overwhelming fear and self preservation. and that her self hatred because of it just fed back into the cycle and made her feel like she wasnt good enough to even try to break free from it. this is very common in golden child/scapegoat sibling relationships where the golden child SEES what the parents are capable of and becomes a participant in the abuse out of fear for their own standing. in any way siding with the scapegoat child not only directs abuse at themselves as well, but frequently makes things WORSE for the scapegoat because the parents will take out the challenge to their power on them even more. so, if aelwyn DID ever try to defend or help adaine when they were small, she would have VERY QUICKLY learned that made things worse for everyone. and just. sectioned that part of her brain off, as she's done with so many other things. (and i dont think im reading too much into the forest scene with the abernants to say their parents were VERY QUICK to turn abuse towards aelwyn if she stepped out of line even a little. like, you dont flinch when a hand moves unless. you know. dont need to say it just something to think about. as far as we saw in canon, she had done everything they asked of her leading up to the forest, and we DONT KNOW what happened in it but we do know brennan specifically called out how in broken spirits she was when adaine was summoned, even though they did the ritual to avoid all of the nightmare bullshit)

(the house party is literally a whole separate post but i think its fair to point out that 1) she was super under the influence when that was happening which DEFINITELY is in no way an excuse for her behavior but worth remembering when trying to analyze that 2) her losing that fight did canonically have DRASTIC consequences for her and even if she didnt know exactly how that was going to turn out, i think she knew how bad it might be. and she did not know adaine or any of the bad kids were going to be there in the first place)

all that said, it feels in some ways counterproductive to say that aelwyn is an extremely devoted and protective person (yes we're getting to the paladin shit i know i've been rambling a while) but i think that thats strangely ALL WE ACTUALLY KNOW ABOUT HER. because we've established that her self-destructive and abusive behavior in s1 is almost entirely psychologically scripted for her by her parents, we dont know how much of her villain shit in s1 was LITERALLY UNDER THREAT OF DEATH because we know at least killing the oracle was and we dont know how much of the rest of it was mandated by either her parents or kalina other than that she probably was under orders not to tell adaine the truth, and we know participating in all of this caused extreme self loathing in her that she refused to show to anybody and was too terrified to act on in any way

so, like. what does that actually leave us?

here's what we do know about aelwyn:

- of all the schools of magic, she went into abjuration

- the entire bbeg plan from season 1 hinged on aelwyn's complete faith that her level 1 sister was the most prodigious diviner in the world

- right after (?) the house party, she locked her memories where only adaine could find it with a note basically saying "theres so much bad blood between us but i know only you could find this"

- she desperately wanted to protect adaine and the fact that she was too afraid to do so made her hate herself (and her knowing that adaine now knows this is the turning point in their relationship)

- despite everything, even in the nmk forest, she still loved her parents

- the SECOND she is shown genuine love and affection and care from adaine, and adaine says whatever you do, i am here with you, all her actions from there forward are just about protecting adaine from their father, very nearly at the cost of her own life

- with what she probably thought were her last words (and would have been if adaine hadnt given her the tincture), all she wanted to communicate was how to help adaine and the bad kids, and how despite everything she had always believed in her

- at five levels of exhaustion, unconscious, she used her first spell slot after nine months of torture to build a shield around adaine

NOW we get to paladin!aelwyn. because, once everything is stripped away, the abuse and the control and the maladaption and the threats and the torture, EVERYTHING we ACTUALLY can glean about aelwyn's personality and inner core is that she's protective and devoted. and of course classes arent locked by personality, but that just screams paladin to me. its her WHOLE THING. adaine even says "wizards dont have heals, we dont care about other people" and of COURSE that isnt true for either of them, but? mechanically? aelwyn chose the wizard school that DID let her protect, and DID let her help, but i dont think, at this point, going forward, thats really going to be enough for her (and we could also talk about the parallels between them, how often adaine uses her portents to help other people)

i think a lot of the different reads on aelwyn come from this fundamental disconnect between her actions and displayed personality vs who she actually is and what she actually wants. and i think there are very different interpretations of what thats going to look like for her going forward. but i think, for a girl who's most hated characteristic about herself was her self preservation at the detriment of others, her perceived selfishness, and her fear ... isn't choosing to be braver and more selfless and more protective and shedding that self-preserving instinct for the betterment of others ... and MECHANICALLY being able to act on all those things ... the logical next step? i think its going to be a LONG TIME before aelwyn can love herself, but what other way is there to try? if adaine loves her, and adaine believes she can be better, isnt being better because she trusts adaine kind of a form of self love? saying, i dont believe in myself, but i believe in the person who believes in me, and maybe, in a roundabout way, thats the same thing. she was never able to TRY to be better before, because trying to improve even a little, even when people arent watching, when a harmful force has so much power over you and your actions ... like, the mental dissonance is honestly TOO much to even try, thats WAY more terrifying than letting yourself be bad, to the point where thats psychologically impossible for a lot of people. but now she actually has space and freedom and CHOICE and she CAN embrace the instincts she always had to shove down, she CAN be the person she knows her sister needed her to be

i dont know, i think theres an inherent love letter to yourself in wanting to be better and wanting to improve, even if you justify it by saying its for someone else. and now aelwyn actually CAN improve, and thats probably going to be extremely awkward and scary and there will be set backs and backslides for sure. but. i dont know. i think she wants to make up for lost time. because she never wanted the time to be lost in the first place. and if a protector is who she always wanted to be, whats stopping her from being that now?

[elfdyke]

wow thanks! that was a really in depth post about it you make good points! when I played I definitely got the sense that monika had encouraged sayori to kill herself and I didn’t get the sense of any remorse when natsuki or yuri died or got fucked up but I guess u do make some good points there about how she was just trying to make them less desirable rather than kill them. I’m new to the game and the fandom so im not super familiar with everything yet but is there anything in the canon or lore that points away from monika having pushed sayori to commit suicide or is it mostly just fan theories and personal readings? either way thank u so much for answering!

yes i can absolutely find you some info on that!

there's quite a bit of information hidden within the games files, so I'm kind of assuming if you're new to the game, that you might not have seen these things? so ill dive into them too!

I'm gona do this under the cut so i can like, dissect things from the game !

(also i found stuff thats specifically pointing away from her meaning actual harm/death for Both yuri and sayori, jsyk)

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.txt (discovered in game files during act 2)

“All I want is for you to hate them. Why is that so hard.”

not, all i want for them is to die. she doesnt want to kill them. she wants to separate us from them so we are with Her, not them. things spiral out of control, but it was never her intention for things to get this bad. ntm its repeated over and over in this game how badly monika wants to die. she's hanging on by a thread, keeping on only because she wants to be with us, to be in contact with reality. this leads to really unfortunate circumstances but i really strongly believe everything in the text alludes to the fact she did Not want things to get this bad

ACT 3 INTRO:

(im copy pasting a transcript of the monologue here, but this is taken from the very beginning of act 3, which you can see in this video starting at 25:56)

imo this is all the proof needed to show that she really had no intention of ‘killing’ sayori and yuri. things spiraled out of control far beyond what she was capable of handling. 

her goals with making sayori more depressed and yuri more obsessive were, in here words “to just try to make them as unlikable as possible”. she didnt want her friends to brutally die!! she loved them q_q i feel like a lot of people really dont look at this specific part of what she says and take it to heart. its very telling for her character and important for understanding what she does and why she does it

ACT 3 MONOLOGUES:

sayori's hanging (cw: graphic descriptions of suicide)

dialogue of importance:

"I was thinking about Sayori earlier... I still wish I could have handled that whole thing a little more tactfully."

+

"Come to think of it, it was probably less 'changing her mind' and more just her survival instincts kicking in." "So you can't really fault her for that." "It's easier to think that she probably wouldn't have changed her mind anyway, right?" "It's not healthy to think about the things you could have done differently." "So just remember that even though you could have saved her, it's technically not your fault she killed herself." "I may have exacerbated it a little bit, but Sayori was already mentally ill." "Still, though..." "I wonder how things would be if you and I just started dating from the get-go?" "I guess we'd all still be in the clubroom, writing poems and having fun together." "But what's the point when none of it is even real?" "I mean, it's the same ending either way, right?"

ok so whats important here, is monika is essentially using us, the player, as a mirror in act 3? the things she says i believe, very strongly show her sense of uncertainty in her actions, and her fears of what if she could have done something else??

"even though you could have saved her, its technically not your fault she killed herself" reads SO much to me like shes trying to comfort herself with this, she doesnt want it to be her fault. nothings real, sayori's a character in a game. but she wishes so badly they could have just been normal girls living together.

happy end poem

OK SO LIKE. this is actual proof of Why she does everything she does. she's scared if she reaches out and tells us she's trapped in a game, we'll stop playing, we'll kill her. she tinkers with the game, trying to make herself look the best, trying to make us choose her, and nothing works. and this leads to her becoming frustrated and scared, and screwing with the game more and more desperately trying to do anything to save herself.

if you recall, in act 2, she gives you a poem which bluescreen the computer. this was actually an attempt she makes to escape the game q_q she never wanted to kill yuri, she never wanted things to escalate like that. she wanted to get out but she had no idea how to program her way out of the game, resulting in everything crumbling around her, and her friends dying.

my own route

hang on this one genuinely makes me so upset.

it very much relates back to how in the conversation about sayori's suicide, she's still clearly thinking about how things could be Different. shes thinking about how they could be normal. "I may not have needed to take such drastic measures to be with you. Maybe the rest of the club would still be around..." , and then immediately trying to convince herself it doesnt matter, and that she doesnt care.

its so so obvious shes hurting and she misses her friends. the additional "i really dont (miss them)" at the end really shows that shes desperately trying to convince herself that it was worth it, that she did everything she should have, and her friends dont matter. but they clearly do matter to her. she loved them (she couldnt even delete them if u recall)

also another important part about this monologue, a lot of people say she killed the other girls out of jealousy, but this shows thats not true??

"I think I would end up forcing you onto my route anyway." "It has less to do with me not having a route, and more to do with me knowing that nothing is real."

this wasnt because shes 'in love' with us. she wanted to be close to something real, something tangible. she's clinging onto us, the player character, like someone lost at sea with a piece of driftwood, doing everything she can to stay afloat

wine

ok this isnt on the surface level as important as the other ones, but literally look at how she talks about this memory.. she misses them so much and talking about this memory she clearly cherishes brings her so much joy. she doesnt belittle any of them, she doesnt talk down on them, she’s just reliving this memory because it makes her happy 

I HOPE THIS HELPS?? im sure theres a few more things im forgetting, but i did my best to scrabble up everything i could to show how monika’s not an evil mastermind, shes a scared girl who didnt realize what she was doing and when things got too bad, she did her best to fix it, only for it to get worse n worse

edit: oh heres the proof that monika always loved the girls and never actually deleted them

:’)

edit 2: haha.. um ouch

“It’s not right for me to miss things that weren’t even real in the first place.” shes forcing herself to try and ignore her feelings for the other girls

[numbaoneflaya]

8, 21, 22, 26 for Caz , 25, 27, 29, 39 for Felria, 23, 30, 40, 43 for Suds, and 21, 25, 26, 35 for Nirn? 👀👀

HERE THEY ARE IM SJORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG GDSHEDG...

Caz

8. How does your character feel about religion?

Not a big fan! Hates the chantry and Andraste and the Maker and the Qun. Being raised in the circle run by templars and nuns and seeing the corruption of the church firsthand from the inside really left a bad taste in her mouth for organized religion.

21. What are your character’s manners like? What is their type of hero? Whom do they hate?

She has the ability to flip her manners on or off depending on who shes with. If shes comfortable then shes going to be more crass and impolite, but shes capable of really cleaning up her act and pretending to be professional if she needs to be. Her type of hero is anyone who goes against the status quo and disrupts systems of oppression- She considers Thurwen/the HOF and Hawke personal heroes (if Hawke sides with the mages) as well as Anders. Has read all of Anders manifestos and reports on Thurwen and Hawke and would geek tf out meeting them.

22. Who are their friends? Lovers? ‘Type’ or ‘ideal’ partner?

Friends are anyone who accepts her for who she is and doesnt snitch on her, people she can trust to do the right thing or atleast try to, and people she can have a good laugh with. Lovers are only a couple in the past as she needs to get to know someone well/find them interesting to want to sleep with them. Her type is large, charismatic and rugged. Anyone who looks like a good brat tamer but is also intelligent and keen. Iron Bull.

26. What does your character’s home look like? Personal taste? Clothing? Hair? Appearance?

Everything is covered in tomes and journals but theres a method to the madness. She likes to keep her things organized, surprisingly. She likes cool colors like greens and blues, likes dressing comfortably. Oversized shawls that second as blankets and loose pants. Her hair she likes to keep down with the sides pulled into little braids in front of her ears.

Felria

25. What are their hobbies and interests?

People watching and painting! She knows how to blend into a crowd pretty well or how to find a hidden vantage point where she can just sit and watch people… for hours. She finds peoples behaviors/reactions fascinating and makes little journals of interesting things she sees. Finding how other people work differently than her is vital to figuring out how best to manipulate and control them and she loves learning new ways! And painting because she has an artist's eye and enjoys beautiful things. A few bottles of blood and a quiet evening in front of an easel is a great way for her to unwind.

27. How do they relate to their appearance? How do they wear their clothing? Style? Quality?

She relates her appearance with how easily she will be able to blend in or stand out of her surroundings, and how to dress in order to play the role she wants to play. Because of her line or work (professional assassin and information gatherer) she has to have a lot of costumes available to fit the personalities she plays. Shes a performer at heart but only for herself and the joy she gets in deception. Her own style, if shes not performing, is simple reds and blacks and silvers. She keeps her hair long so shes able to do more with it.

29. What is your character’s weaknesses? Hubris? Pride? Controlling?

Her pride could definitely be her downfall as well as her curiosity. She believes shes just better and different than everybody else and that its her right to play with people as much as she wants, I can see her eventually trying to play with the wrong person. She believes she can get out of any situation by herself without help and that she deserves the finer things in life, and if someone gets in her way, they deserve whatever harm befalls them.

39. What do they like to ridicule? What do they find stupid?

She will really ridicule anything and anyone because she finds most things stupid or benign. She likes to ridicule any of the gods and aedra, and anyone who worships them. She ridicules mortals and werewolves and any other creature that's not a vampire.

Suds

23. What do they want from a partner? What do they think and feel of sex?

Back in his youth he wanted spontaneous fun, a charming and outspoken person to sweep him off his feet. He always wanted someone to take him on adventures and be dangerous and in the moment. Now? Poor guy just wants commitment and someone genuine. Hes tired of charismatic liars who he always seems to fall for. He wants someone to help tend his garden and bond with the bees. He feels that sex is a sacred thing to be shared with people you trust, not something thrown around haphazardly. Relationship and trust come first with him, and he casually waves any flirtation most of the time as if he hadn't noticed it. He's been hurt too many times to trust easily like that.

30. Are they holding on to something in the past? Can he or she forgive?

Yeah hes holding onto a long ass past full of betrayal from the people hes held dearest to him :/ He by nature is a very forgiving person and believes one must be generous in forgiveness. Hes holding onto his past hurt from Felix and cant seem to get away from it- hes forgiven him many times and each time Felix just does the same things as before.

40. How is their sense of humor? Do they have one?

A little dual natured in this aspect. Generally pretty reserved and soft with other people and can seem serious to those who dont know him. Underneath that is his reputation as a trickster- fond of pranks and revelry. The little twinkle in his eye is the only thing that would give him away as the culprit when everyone is looking for who filled a bucket of mud over Nirns chamber door. His favorite kind of jokes are the really long ones, the ones that have a seemingly normal storyline and go on forever and then end in a way where the joke is really on the person listening. And everyone around goes “AAAUUGHH!”

43. Does your character have any secrets? If so, are they holding them back?

A lot of them! Hes a very good secret keeper as hes who many people go to with their problems. After being alive so long and being somewhat involved with politics he probably knows more than a few that could take down nations, and always seems to know whats going on wherever in the world. He has his connections, his mushrooms and his bees and such have eyes everywhere. And don't tell anyone but he is an ardent fan of juicy gossip.

Nirn

21. What are your character’s manners like? What is their type of hero? Whom do they hate?

Impeccable manners. The posture of a God, obviously. Always eloquent and polite, knows which spoons to use for certain dishes and common diplomacy practice from all over the world. Nirn has no heroes, hes never held anyone to a pedestal or been one for hero worship. If he had to choose hed say his mother, for how graceful yet ruthless she was in politics and trade. He also does not hate anybody, he considers strong feelings a weakness and to harbor such resentment would only make him act rashly. He dislikes the slovenly, though. Not the common man but the drunken aristocrat with wine breath who gambles his savings and acts impolitely.

25. What are their hobbies and interests?

Chess and games of strategy are some of his favorites in the odd chance he has any free time. He also plays the violin and the harp and the lute, instruments he's known since he was taught them as a child. Wine tasting as well! Hes one of those mfs who can just sniff a certain drink and say with precision the date time and location it was made.

26. What does your character’s home look like? Personal taste? Clothing? Hair? Appearance?

Everything is refined and elegant with a certain air of someone who enjoys the arts. Many expensive paintings and sculptures on display. He prefers the colors red and gold and white, sometimes a darkish blue or purple. He is always dressed to impress, satin and velvet and exotic leathers. He keeps his hair long to the small of his back, or tied up in a bun. In appearance hes intimidatingly tall and knows how to stand to look even taller, does not tilt his head down to you but moreso stares down his nose.

35. Do they always rationalize errors? How do they accept disasters and failures?

Failure is only a means to greater success to him. To win a game sometimes you need to sacrifice a few pawns, etc. Takes them calmly and with little indication that hes upset at all. He usually has four or five backup plans for any endeavor, so hes able to quickly jump tactics if something isn't working. In game or battle hes typically a good sport at losing, though he very seldom does. Hed be more impressed that someone managed to make him fail, and get to thinking on how to get them in his employ.

[boogiepilgrim]

thanks for tagging me @taste-thewaste, love ya ⭐

fic writer interview

name: bethany (bluemoves98)

fandoms: ok first off i wanna say i dont . consider myself a fic writer? the one on my account ^ began on a whim. back in the sweet days of yore, summer 2019, on like my fifth watch of rocketman. the part where bernie says "we'll go to my raench. we’ll hide awaehy" hit, and i was like...... um. holy fucking shit. the idea was born. and so i was like, omg i bet ppl ARE writing fics about this. so i went, and i 👀, and i saw the dynamics people were wanting to read about, etc... & the particular one i skimmed through didnt do it for me. like, it just wasnt.. believable where it needed to be, stuff like that. ppl were wanting to read/write about an abusive relationship, but that random one, to ME, was totally off the mark. so, i took the idea i had (the ranch idea, which had branched by this stage into the telephone thing..), and concocted a story that depicted that in a more accurate, there-is-absolutely-nothing-sexy-about-this way. the answer to this question is: rocketman

two-shot?: i..do not know what this really means. i know what a one shot is? hmmm. perhaps you could consider nlh a two-shot considering im lich writing a companion story for it ☺️ xx stay tuned for that x

most popular multi-chapter fic: there only is one babey. out now. sequel coming soon........ im hoping august 8th... . but lets call it "soon"........ . ..

actual worst part of writing: like you said, ambie, finding the time to actually do it. with work n whatever else, it's hard to find stress-free time to do it sometimes

how you choose your titles: in true traditional fashion, title and chapters were all lyric excerpts that i felt pertained in some typa way

do you outline: i doooo. i think you need to, to some degree. like even the bare minimum. i DO love the freedom of taking it in any direction at any given time, but i also enjoy knowing where im headed and where i need to bring everything. the one im writing now, i think, is a lot more steadily outlined than the first one was.

ideas you probably won’t get around to, but wouldn’t it be nice: i dont actually plan on writing any more after this. ALTHOUGH i have a like lighthearted funny fantasy story based entirely on captain fantastic (the song) that has nothing to do with this, that i started writing on the side, in ye olde drafts. so who knows hunniez

callouts @ me: bitch, you didnt need to do bernie the fish so damn dirty. im sure ppl like @luzff, @rocketthem, @hobbit-with-tea, @killmypiano or anyone whos read it could answer this more accurately. or colourfully. fkhsjfjsjf id love to know

best writing traits: i havent got any idea. again, someone who has read it might be better at answering this.. ummm. something i wanted to accomplish w it was making it one of those fics you'd read that stays with u for some time, ur invested, it’s full of detail, lore. relatability. which i feel like i did. theres stuff to piece together or like draw ur own conclusions about since it's told strictly from one pov. a fair amount lies between the lines. another thing is it's obviously dark, but it's also like . not too serious in places, and as a whole has got like a charming element (regarding the good stuff). SO, more self promo: if you at all cared about nlh n the characters i made up, u may love the second (2nd) pov of it. because there is SO much that i put into nlh that will be brought to light and wrapped up in a NEAT little PACKAGE 🎁 in little miss qat

spicy tangential opinion: im on board w yours amber. one of mine would be: if youre going to write about experiences you havent experienced, even in a fanfic, i feel like you should at least do a lil research on the way. it helps your writing, and also prevents you from putting potentially harmful content out there

idk that many fic writers; i dont read them myself anymore. but i tag: @axlnchas, + anyone else who sees this and wants to 🧡

[unambiguouslybi]

I am bisexual and have known for a very long time. At the moment I am dating a boy, who I have been dating for over two years now.

He does not accept that I'm bisexual. Recently he asked me; "Can you please be normal? Can't you try for me? I just want you to be normal." Him saying this broke my heart. He really hurt my feelings and made me think about our relationship a lot. He told me he "loves me but doesn't accept what I am".

Is there anything I can do to make him change his mind about my sexuality? To make him accept me? Everything he has said has made me feel really bad about myself and has also made me think about my sexuality a lot more than if he would have just been acceptant. (Ironic isn't it)

Are there any people who have experience with this and how to handle it?

hi!!! to be blunt, i think you should dump your boyfriend.

to actually answer your question though, theres not much you can do to make him change his mind. you can do your best to educate him you can show and explain to him that being bisexual is normal and that theres nothing wrong with you for being bisexual but at the end of the day if hes not willing to accept it or your identity than theres nothing you can do to make him see things your way. really it sounds like he biphobic, im not sure if he lives with the mindset that bisexual people are more likely to cheat or what or why he feels the way he does. finding out why he thinks the way he does will help you to address the issue and talk to him more.

but more than anything i encourage you to realize that you deserve better than this, you shouldnt have to expend extra energy to convince your partner that theres nothing wrong with you and honestly the more i type up this reply the more and more i worry that other things of a similar nature might occur. if hes unwilling to accept your identity and is already harassing you for it when it doesnt effect your relationship at all then what else will he have a problem about? what other aspects of you and your life will he try and control or change? do you see where im going with this, anon?

if you think talking with him will honestly help and fix up everything than go ahead but honestly this could just be a sign that this boy isnt right for you, id hate for your relationship with him to turn into something toxic and harmful and as things are right now it's already causing you distress. you are deserving of a partner who will love, accept and respect you for who you are no matter what. love shouldnt come with such arbitrary conditions. you deserve a partner who wont imply that you are abnormal simply for being yourself. your partner should think that you are wonderful and perfect for just being yourself.

no matter which you choose though, whether you talk to him or leave him for someone who will actually treat you properly, just be sure that the choice is yours and yours alone. dont let anyone force you to make a decision okay?

please take good care of yourself 💖

-Mod Ky

[eijispumpkin]

hey bestie i think i’ve seen you speak about ash having consensual sex and it serving as a way to heal from his sa past, and about how some people have a saviour complex and act as it ash should be sex repulsed or something. anyways you probably already know about this but there’s this person on tiktok (i believe their @ is shorterwongkinnie) and they’ve made a few videos talking about this. if you’ve already seen them, what did you think of them and do you think they missed something

sincerely, trans eiji anon

i actually dont have a tiktok so i havent seen any of these!!! :0 but speaking broadly, yeah, i absolutely stand by the idea that ash can enjoy sex with eiji! i can talk about that a bit.

some people in the fandom like to assert that it’s harmful to talk about survivors ever going on to enjoy sex and i honestly just cannot fathom this concept at all. i mean, i know where it comes from - it’s slut-shaming combined with the idea of “i personally dislike this so it must be universally bad” - but sometimes i just want to sit these people down and go “dude, what the fuck?” because it’s just... fundamentally bad, on so many levels.

like, firstly, this idea that all survivors HAVE to be sex-repulsed is just flat out false. it completely ignores that hypersexuality is a very common response to sexual trauma, and further also seriously invalidates any survivors who do go on to reclaim sex as something they enjoy. painting sex as something bad and impure that only bad and impure people like to engage in, think about, or depict, is just slut-shaming. associating the idea of enjoying sex with morality in any way? slut-shaming. and i would hope that in 2021 we all know that slut-shaming is bad.

moreover, the idea that a survivor’s entire life MUST be defined by their trauma is... man, i could use nice words like “extremely invalidating” and “rather infantilizing, to a degree”, but honestly, i just want to say that it’s super fucking shitty. don’t do this to people. good god.

and the thing is, it’s fine to headcanon that ash is sex-repulsed and he never does want to have sex again! some people do have this response, and they are completely valid! it’s just that the ones who don’t have this response are just as valid, and picking and choosing which trauma responses are palatable enough is just a garbage thing to do. insisting that there is only one TRUE way to depict a trauma survivor? that fuckin SUCKS. everyone’s path to healing is different.

but yeah! that’s My Thoughts about the whole thing. the tl;dr is just. it’s ok to hc ash sex-repulsed, and it’s also ok to hc him enjoying consensual sex. it’s NOT ok to insist theres only one correct depiction of a survivor of sexual trauma. 

eta: oh also one other thing!! asexual and sex-repulsed do not mean the same thing and i Keep seeing people use “asexual” when they mean “sex-repulsed”. asexual means “does not feel sexual attraction.” asexual people can have and enjoy sex, and many do! and non-ace people can also be sex-repulsed. sex-repulsed aces also exist! asexuality is a spectrum. i think it’s important to use the right terminology in nuanced discussions like this.

[littlebabycrybtch]

i dont wanna ruin ppls fun or w/e but i just,,,,,,, anybody else honestly getting tired of seeing character coding essays. bc like. ppl will write some analysis on how a character is ‘coded’ as a minority and then their examples literally just boil down to 100% personal headcanons revolving around stereotypes, baiting, or just literally making something out of nothing. like. i am not personally gonna Celebrate that?? and im not gonna give some random privileged creator my praise for any one of those things???

idk hot take but.... imo? coding isnt. even good. its not a diversity positive thing to ‘’’code’’’ a character. frankly most of the time a character isnt even fucking coded as anything, but even when thats truly the case, its not rly. representation. its half assed, its a cop out decision. it should be like. a last resort for when you Cant represent a trait, like if ur fighting censorship or smth. otherwise................ whats the point of it dude. im rly not trying to be black or white abt it but. minority rep is not the place for requiring ‘analysis’. just represent the fucking trait. if you want people to think your character is a certain thing... blatantly make them the thing. you dont make majorities play guessing games with their rep, why should i let you play me like that. i dont want your symbolism or ‘’’’’’coding’’’’’’. to me its insulting, demeaning, and does nothing for me. and thats just talking about when coding posts end up being Reasonable, 9 times out of 10... its downright eyeroll worthy. now ofc, however you choose to relate to characters is 100% fine, and you viewing their traits as relatable to your through your own minority lens is valid analysis! but its kinda inexcusable to ignore the social harm it causes to just. literally out loud pretend that blatantly coincidental or even Malicious character choices are actually intentional, and that this vague intention would mean anything truly progressive anyways, especially when once again, most of these ‘coding’ essays are written about stereotypes and baiting. coding at this point seems to be just... a fancy word for ‘a headcanon with a little extra analysis to fantasize that this was the truth all along, yaaay everybody agree with me’.

in other words.... if you try to tell me one more time about how this quirky character is autism coded, or this male character who one time said he doesnt like sports is gay coded, i am gonna fucking scream. lmao dude. no they arent. thats not real. they arent for me. they dont represent me. they were probably written by an abled cishet who isnt thinking about me at all, so im sorry, but its just too much to ask for me to pretend with you. i refuse to lower my standards that fucking far. i will Not clap for that, i will Not fake that this means anything to me just bc you want me to. and if its actually supposed to be that way, well tbh the concept would probably offend me bc based on the points given it sounds like absolute garbage rep anyways. smh. like its fine when you see stuff that way, but thats a fuckign HEADCANON ok, stop using stereotypes and baiting as examples of ANYTHING positive or realistic, and pls just go back to writing HEADCANON analysis essays instead of implying this sort of shit is intentional and progressive, unless you have CLEAR evidence thats fucking real and makes sense!! im sorry to be harsh but it makes me wanna pull my hair out lmao. idk, have fun, but pls stop and think about how it affects other minorities (and if you’re one, remember the people in your group besides yourself) when you leap from ‘this is what i think for self related reasons’, and ‘this is what i am going to publicly claim is the truth’. theres a big difference in headcanon vs coding conversations, and the problem is its way more harmful if you fuck ‘coding’ up the way a Lot of people have been.

[takoboru]

Hey,

I was wondering if you could help me out a little. I don't have enough knowledge about this so please excuse my mistake if you think I'm being disrespectful by asking you this. I'm asking to improve myself. I apologize if I come across as rude.

So, I come from a pretty narrow minded society and here it's considered a sin to be homosexual or to even even support them. I don't understand why it is so. I see everyone as humans deserving of love and respect regardless of their preferences but, I've seen some people be extremely mean to them. However, recently I found out that some people can't 'support' LGBT for religious reasons yet they 'respect' LGBT. (I heard it's a way to show that they're not dangerous to the LGBT community).

So is it disrespectful if I can't support them because of my community but respect their decisions and preferences?

First off, huge disclaimer that I am not good explaining my thoughts so if I also come across as rude, I am just very awkward and trying my best 🧍‍♂️

Uh, someone correct me if I’m wrong if theres any religion that actually has that as a “rule” or something, (im not religious sorry :<) but based on what I know, that is just homophobia.

Respecting someones preferences, pronouns, sexuality, etc. is a good thing but imo its not enough. Though I understand some people can’t actively support the queer community given the circumstances of where they live (like if you live in a country super homophobic), Support is needed because the lives of queer people aren’t going to get any better if you turn a blind eye to all the fucked up shit homophobes with power put us through. Honestly, I find what people have told you complete bullshit because even if you respect someone’s pronouns or sexuality or whatever, you can still make matters worse for us by choosing to not support the community. Not supporting us basically means actively putting us at more risk. Letting exclusionists oppress us even more than we already have been (and in some countries it already goes as far as killing queer ppl) so uh, I think you should totally disregard whatever those ppl told you and support the LGBT community :))

if you live in a very homophobic country you can still support us in small ways!!!

if your friend comes out as queer, be their emotional support!!! living in homophobic households can be taxing to our emotional and mental health and people need a place to be themselves sometimes. let them talk about their crush or vent or honestly it doesnt have to be a topic about being part of the community. treat them like any other friend and let them talk about what they like. even if you don’t understand. the fact that you try is enough

if you can, inform people about sexualities and stuff. a lot of people actually dont know about these things so its nice to spread information :))) even if its through social media liek this one big hellsite

bonk all the homophobes/transphobes. honestly, this goes for anyone that oppresses minority groups. letting them in communities is vv harmful to us :’) if you dont have the guts to be out right about it or if it also endangers you and your friend, its best to just 🏃🏻‍♀️

i hope this was somehow helpful to you because ;-; this was really hard to answer.