#sorry im being insane again :

[canonically-a-genloser]

"healing"

"Healing" wasn't a beautiful word to Paislie.

Other people described it as a good thing. They related healing to waking up on a sunny morning and telling themselves it would be a good day. Or suddenly waking up one day and realizing how consistently they would feel better in whatever sense of the word they wanted to take it as.

To Paislie, it was watching your basically older sibling go through surgery after surgery to try to piece their skull back together. It was helping keep two of your brothers from tearing each other apart limb from limb. It was watching- even helping at times- your sister change, both physically and emotionally, from what had been chosen for her and molding it into someone, something else because she couldn't stand looking in the mirror anymore. Healing was guilt and hate and anger and screaming until you couldn't anymore because all that was left of you was pain.

Paislie hadn't understood her feelings escaping Showfall. Sure, she wanted to die less at times, but she should've wanted to live. Compared to before, she had so many reasons to.

She had someone to care for her like a father even though he didn't have to and was probably just as overwhelmed as she herself was most of the time.

She had physically healed some, probably as much as she ever would.

Another thing she was genuinely glad of, though, was getting to see the sun again.

Watching Sneeg and Charlie see it for the first time.

Helping Niki cut off half her hair so she could decide what she thought about it.

Sitting beside Ranboo when both of them were too tired or in pain to join the rest in whatever they were doing.

She couldn't say it had all been bad.

And who knew. Maybe someday, Paislie would say she had healed. Maybe she just felt more isolated because most people wouldn't have a mega-fucked filming corporation on their list of traumas.

But, she figured, as cheesy as it was, most people didn't have the found family she did. And to her, that undoubtedly counted for something.

[glsneeg-enthusiast]

kids theory......

[f1zzlest1ckzz]

THAT SCWNE IS SO FUCKED TOO BECAUSE OF HOW OLLIE IS ALSO BREAKING DOWN AND GOING "nooo, how could i do that to a little girl :(" IM GNDKDMDMGNDNNDBF

[kazzikkiii]

having bpd is actual hell on earth cause no one tries to fucking understand you and they write you off as being difficult and too much and they leave and we’re left with this fucking personality disorder that consumes my entire fucking existence and they act like its THEIR inconvenience that IM ill.

[realkeylogger]

drew this instead of working on my computer

[seri-tonin]

I keep seeing people say that Kaveh and Alhaitham are incompatible and I'm just like... no u don't get it. They are so compatible that I'm convinced they're literally made for each other. They're both so incredibly stubborn but underneath all the bickering, they clearly have a ton of respect for each other and recognize each other's intelligence. It's because of both that mutual respect and their directly opposing worldviews and ideals that make them both pretty much the only people that are capable of influencing good and meaningful change in the other. Kaveh brings the empathy and artistry that Alhaitham needs while Alhaitham keeps Kaveh grounded. Alhaitham always seems so much more relaxed in every scene where he interacts with Kaveh. Alhaitham is pretty much the only person that Kaveh doesn't feel the need to go full people-pleaser with (excluding the occasional client that really manages to piss him off). They're actually perfect for each other.

[mossfeathers]

oh btw im hoping and praying for bigb on a larger 3-4 person team this time around pleas eplease please please pleaseeeeee i NEED to see more dynamics with him. hes just a chill guy. let him commit unspeakable crimes with other horrible people.

[heartorbit]

i would advise against sneaking a bunch of silly billies into your castle

[canon-gabriel-quotes]

✨💐 Mother's Day 💐✨

Transcript:

Machine. Gabriel omegaverse male pregnancy art.

Transcript:

I'm two days late... *gasp* Did Minos finally..?

Transcript:

Did Sisyphus finally..?

Transcript:

Don't come to my server.

Don't pray to me.

Don't "V1 pregnant" react me.

We're done.

*vine boom*

Transcript:

Guys, stop giving birth in vc.

Transcript:

You know.

I'd really like to say all of the pregnancy jokes catch me off guard.

But to tell you the truth, I was expecting.

i hate it here

Omegaverse clip

Minos clip

Sisyphus clip

Divorce clip

Literally 1984

He was expecting :]

[possamble]

Like take for example how she treats healing Laios leg!! We *never* see someone who was healed have lasting symptoms from a heal. It *itches* terribly — Laios looks like he will scratch it raw. The itching implies an incomplete heal — you only itch that bad when something is being regrown or scabbing like when you get tattoos. There’s something that needs to finish healing. This scene always stood out to me— because Falin notices and *heals* it. And that brought up a ton of questions for me (We see her cast magic, was it to soothe the itching? A phantom pain? Why was it itching in the first place? Didn’t Marcille finish the job? Why was he having after effects we never see someone have any before?) and i’m breaking my brain over it because is this an sign of Marcille’s engagement with healing in general? Perfunctory—a means to an end? Morals? I feel like there is something there for us because that scene wasn’t necessary to the plot so why did Ryoko Kui add this interaction? I think how Marcille engages with healing was telling us a lot more than I previously realized because she was in a medical researcher position before coming into the dungeon however when we see how this was practically applied by her was really interesting!! She’s so divorced from feeling empathy for the pain of healing and i think that’s some sort of self-preservation instinct. Idk i just feel like her engagement with healing is so fucking fascinating when juxtaposed with her beliefs on death pls share thots if any

I think what gets hidden in the details about Marcille’s healing is that no, she’s not a talented cleric and healer in the way that Falin is. But Fantasy settings tend to relegate healing towards “holy” and “good” magic that never causes harm—

and Marcille is what you’d get if you put a doctor and a surgeon with a modern, more realistic approach towards medicine in a genre that doesn’t usually allow for that. 

Like, you’ll see surgeons or doctors secretly being incredibly efficient serial killers in TV thrillers everywhere—but a fantasy series with a cleric or healer that’s secretly great at killing is a bit more rare to find(though not nonexistent, admittedly). Healing magic tends to be painted as either a religious discipline that’s not accessible to those who don’t have a tie to a deity or some ineffable force in the universe, or a matter of accessing some natural “life force” that exists in all living beings. 

Dungeon Meshi, of course, loves bending fantasy conventions in the most incredible ways, so that’s not how it works here. The series allows itself to contend with the fact that healing a human body requires extensive and painstakingly detailed knowledge of that body.

The reason that Falin might appear to be a much more talented healer than Marcille is because Kui dresses her up in all the archetypal traits of a Caring Cleric, and that immediately clicks with readers expecting fantasy conventions in ways that Marcille's expertise doesn't.

This isn’t to discredit Falin, obviously. She is a talented healer, as attested to by Marcille herself:

But the interesting thing is that she does it all on instinct, so it’s not an exact knowledge. Furthermore, she uses the gnomish system of healing, which is implied to rely more on the judgment and knowledge of natural spirits (and therefore takes less mana). So it’s not hard to imagine that she would have less exact knowledge of how the human body operates than Marcille does as a medical researcher. 

And that in and of itself raises questions: In a world where magic can immediately re-attach a limb, why would medical research be necessary? But Dungeon Meshi makes it clear that healing magic isn’t perfect, nor “holy” magic—it’s simply magic, like any other, carefully tailored to operate within the confines of what a human body needs in order to keep living. It’s not able to cure everything, and it especially seems to have gaps in terms of being able to treat illnesses that aren’t immediately solvable injuries.

And that all ties into Marcille's attitude towards it: It's a scientific and magical discipline like any other that requires careful study. There's nothing inherently good or bad about it—it was made by people, for people, and what matters is how you use it.

So, Marcille was at the academy, studying the ways that illness happens in a body, and carefully writing new magic to counteract or at least mitigate it.

(How I interpreted this was that she was likely part of research teams dealing with complicated things like autoimmune diseases, cancer, and other things where the body isn’t technically injured by a foreign element, but erroneously harming itself due to internal reasons.)

For me, this kind of explains her approach to pain in healing:

Honestly, what this immediately reminded me of was that a friend of mine had to have surgery on their throat when they were younger, and part of the procedure was waking them up without anaesthesia right after the surgery to make sure that they could still feel everything. They told me it was the worst pain they’d ever felt in their entire life—but from a medical perspective, it was necessary to make sure that none of the critical nerves in the neck had been affected. 

Sometimes in medicine, pain is necessary because it’s not some uncomplicated and bad thing—it’s a response of your nervous system, and sometimes the only indicator that your body is still working the way it should. And I think this is the mindset that Marcille has, which is why she seems so blase about it—she doesn’t think that she’s actually hurting people, it’s just a necessary part of the healing process. 

And in some ways, she just sees it as a realistic downside of the fact that you have to recover quickly in dungeon situations:

Normal recovery would take months. Healing magic shortens that to a few seconds. The pain is a result/tradeoff of forcing something that would naturally take a long time into such a short timespan. This all makes sense and is Right and Correct and Normal in Marcille's mind. It's not that she lacks empathy and doesn't care enough about not harming her patients: she doesn't think that it's "harm" at all.

Not a shred of guilt in that face before causing extreme pain. Contrast this to her constant fussing over Izutsumi on the smallest things—it's hard to believe she wouldn't even be a little apologetic if she actually believed this would be hurtful in a way that matters.

I think this is overall, less indicative of any lack of empathy so much as her incredibly stubborn and sometimes ridiculous way of compartmentalizing things to her own internal rules. I’d even argue that this mindset is preferable in surface situations, where people have the luxury of time. Dungeon healing hurts because it has to be fast and instantaneous—but if you're just treating a broken bone that can be put in a cast with slower healing magic to help, wouldn't you prefer that over an instant heal with the chance to cause brain damage, no matter how minuscule the chance is? Shouldn’t your long-term health matter more than short-term recovery and some pain?

To touch on Laios’s leg injury—we actually do see this kind of reaction to healing magic later on in the manga. When Marcille is teaching Laios how to heal, she ends up bowling him over because her cut gets super itchy:

but then she reacts positively and tells him that it's supposed to happen, before trusting him enough to try it on Senshi.

So while yes, it was an “incomplete” heal, I don’t think it was particularly telling about her approach to healing. And honestly, judging by the fact that it only distracted him when he was relaxed enough to be cleaning his armour before bed, it looks like she connected all the major muscles and nerves enough not to cause pain or risk re-injury by moving, but just left superficial stuff for Laios’s body to naturally heal. 

Her mindset makes sense in context: She also had to heal Chilchuck and Senshi, while conserving enough energy to immediately start digging for Falin’s body and potentially do a very taxing resurrection spell as soon as possible. 

After that, Falin healed the rest of Laios’s leg injury in a situation where it wasn’t needed, but there were no other high stakes to discourage it. Also, she can’t bear to see others in pain. ambrosiagourmet already did an incredible analysis of how this empathy doesn't really signify perfect altruism so much as Falin's deep discomfort with having to witness pain, so I won't go into that too much—but the important part is, Falin isn't inherently a more caring healer than Marcille. They are both making decisions for the patient based on their own approaches to healing—it's just that Falin's approach is preferable for dungeoneering overall.

(In Marcille's defense, it seems that dungeons are an incredibly specific environment that falls way outside the realm of what's actually taught to mages in most schools. Being a combat-oriented mage actually seems pretty frowned upon.)

So, in a lot of ways, Marcille is both realistic about dungeon healing (mana conservation by not doing full heals when not necessary, thinking about pain as the condensation of the time it would have taken to naturally heal, etc.) and very unrealistic about it. What she doesn’t realize is that the pain matters: In a dungeon, people have to be up and ready to continue right away, over and over. If it hurts every time, that makes them very averse to being healed, stressed out about getting injured, and affects their performance as dungeoneers.

All that to say… I personally believe that Marcille is very passionate about healing people. Not healing magic necessarily, but medicine as a whole. It’s not just a means to an end—it’s her main area of study only second to her research into ancient magic. And sure, she might have gotten into it because of her fear of death—but what I think people don’t give enough credit to is that her motivations changed from when she was a child. 

You see it here, when she’s laying her dream outright to the Winged Lion: 

She might be kinda racist herself, hypocritical, and short-sighted (mostly out of ignorance, I’d argue), but at heart, she hates that people hurt each other. She hates that long-lived races look down on everyone else just because of lifespan. She has—arguably very correctly—identified the disparity in lifespans as one of the main causes of interracial strife, and she wants to get rid of it so that everyone can fully understand and relate to each other as equals. 

And in some ways, it’s not even that insane of a dream. 

Knowing that people used to live as long as she’ll have to, and something changed in the eons since, is it really that weird for her to want to change it back somehow? 

But all that aside—the most important part of this to me is that… originally, she wasn’t actually that hung up on completely equalizing lifespans. She got into medicine because she wanted to, at the very least, close the gap as much as she could in her very long life. 

She was realistic about it at first. She thought that, by studying ancient magic’s ability to pull from the infinite, she could harness that infinite energy in tandem with medical knowledge to give more life to the short-lived races. 

But as she says it herself, it changed when she realized that she doesn’t have time to gradually unravel it on her own. 

So, yes. She got desperate. She got crazy. In light of all she did as dungeon lord, it’s easy to assume that she never cared much about healing as a profession, and is just a self-obsessed little girl caged by her trauma and trying to change the entire world to make sure she doesn’t have to be hurt. 

And… she is all that. She's my blorbo supreme but I'll be the first to insist that she is very much a complete hot mess. But my point is that these were very extreme circumstances, and Ryoko Kui has given us all the understated evidence we need to know that she’s actually a very passionate doctor otherwise. This is the girl who freaks out if she’s not useful to other people and not allowed to help:

Did actually get excited about making safe dungeons for helpful purposes beyond just learning more about ancient magic to fulfill her dream: 

And in tandem with her own personal trauma—not in opposition to it or to obscure it—cared about making life more peaceful and equal for everyone in the world. Not to mention, she had to have done some insane work to be acknowledged as the most talented researcher at the academy and be allowed onto teams that were researching new healing magics.

TL:DR, I think she has a lot of empathy for people and passion for helping them, it’s just expressed in a way you wouldn’t expect in a fantasy because Ryoko Kui doesn’t fuck around with her storytelling and genre subversion. She might not be a good archetypal healer, but she's an extremely knowledgeable doctor with a point-blank and intense attitude towards healing and medical treatment (see: her strictness about physical touch when teaching Laios about healing).

For me, all evidence points towards her going back to what she was doing before the story on top of her duties as Court Mage, kind of becoming a sort of Surgeon General for Melini as the head of health and safety for the country and whatnot. 

PS. I will admit that there's explicit evidence she's not good at healing here:

But this was also like... chapter 3. Written years ago. I personally feel that everything Kui has said about Marcille's background since is enough evidence that it was just a one-off joke before she had an airtight idea about who Marcille was and would be, but I'll concede that it's mostly conjecture.

But again, as I said, I believe that while she might not be the best at the heal spell that's used in Dungeons, she's passionate about being a medical researcher and the field of medicine as a whole.

[azuremist]

Hard to explain what I meant when I say I “ship” Rodicent.

I mean it in a “gay sex wouldn’t fix this — in fact it would likely make everything worse, but I want to see how much worse it can get” way. But also, I mean it in a “Vincent is selfish, and Rody is self-destructively giving towards those he loves, and I want to see how those two flaws play into each other” way. But also I DO ship it in a “I view Vincent’s cannibalism as an allegory for queer desire, and I want there to be a world where he learns that consuming Rody isn’t the only way Rody can be his” way. Similarly, in a, “Rody is an unrealized bisexual in 60s France, and there is a very real possibility that Vincent is the only other queer man his age he will ever meet in his lifetime; he deserves to know who he is, what he feels, and that it’s okay” sort of way, too. Those last two points combined make me ship it in a “queer men finding each other, fucking each other up severely because they don’t understand how they feel, and then healing together” way. Also, at the same time, I do ship it in a “I want to watch them become so codependent that they can’t even function without the other” way.

Also in a “carnal desire as cannibalization of your loved one is hot as fuck” way. Who said that.

[glsneeg-enthusiast]

sorry personally. i think being showfalls favorite would get to charlies head. i think hed get pissed off if someone doesnt like him or he doesnt get his way. i think if charlie and sneeg got into an argument hed tell sneeg that he could ask showfall to kill him and they would. smile

[kideternity]

Uhmmmmm soo. Over the past few months I've been seeing a lot of complaints or comments that digimon has too many designs which essentially boil down to “There are too many designs that are just humans in costumes.”

And for a while I just nodded my head and went Yeah Alright, because I Understood where it was coming from (the way most perfect + ultimate levels tend to become more humanoid over their predecessors) and thought it was a valid complaint even if I don’t agree. But eventually it got to the point where I got legitimately invested in wanting to know How Many Digimon there were that you could classify as “basically humans” and well. Here I am.

For the past week or so I came up with my own “categories” and counted how many digimon fit under each category to then later put into a graph like the one you see above ^

I did all of this for like, first and foremost My Own Interest, but I decided to share the results anyways in case someone else thinks this topic of discussion is interesting? I'll include as well under a read more a more in depth guide to the data i've accumulated as well

FYI, Important disclaimers: This is all highly subjective. Im not trying to claim these are any sort of objective categories canon to Digimon or that the results are objectively canon. You may think some or all of these categories are deeply redundant, or you will disagree with me over what counts as say, A Monster or A Furry or A Humanoid, and that’s fine. There are also digimon excluded from the total, most notably digimon that are cameo/minor characters in a singular digimon property, or recolours (ie Gabumon versus Psychemon) or which had minute design differences (Like, almost all of the different Agumons) because I thought including all of that was redundant or unnecessary. If there was a major difference in designs (ie Original Falcomon versus 2006 Savers Falcomon) however I did consider it as a separate design. Also, no X antibody designs were included, because oh my god there are already so many digimon and the X antibody designs could probably merit its own pie chart.

Baby 1 + 2:

Explicitly Creatures/Animals/Naturalistic Monsters/etc: 89

Inhuman/Monstrous in other ways (example- Robots/objects/undead): 17

Anthropomorphic animals/creatures (Furries, inclu robotic anthros): n/a

Humanoid but still inhuman/monstrous/weird in some way: n/a

Essentially humans/Humans in costumes: n/a

Rookie:

Explicitly Creatures/Animals/Naturalistic Monsters/etc: 73

Inhuman/Monstrous in other ways (example- Robots/objects/undead): 26

Anthropomorphic animals/creatures (Furries inclu robotic anthros): 7

Humanoid but still inhuman/monstrous/weird in some way: 7

Essentially humans/Humans in costumes: 4

Adult:

Explicitly Creatures/Animals/Naturalistic Monsters/etc: 96

Inhuman/Monstrous in other ways (example- Robots/objects/undead): 51

Anthropomorphic animals/creatures (Furries inclu robotic designs): 18

Humanoid but still inhuman/monstrous/weird in some way: 23

Essentially humans/Humans in costumes: 6

Perfect:

Explicitly Creatures/Animals/Naturalistic Monsters/etc: 64

Inhuman/Monstrous in other ways (example- Robots/objects/undead): 46

Anthropomorphic animals/creatures (Furries inclu robotic anthros): 39

Humanoid but still inhuman/monstrous/weird in some way: 46

Essentially humans/Humans in costumes: 9

Ultimate + Super Ultimate:

Explicitly Creatures/Animals/Naturalistic Monsters/etc: 68

Inhuman/Monstrous in other ways (example- Robots/objects/undead): 41

Anthropomorphic animals/creatures (Furries inclu robotic anthros): 48

Humanoid but still inhuman/monstrous/weird in some way: 95

Essentially humans/Humans in costumes: 17

Hybrid:

Explicitly Creatures/Animals/Naturalistic Monsters/etc: 7

Inhuman/Monstrous in other ways (example- Robots/objects/undead): 4

Anthropomorphic animals/creatures (Furries inclu robotic anthros): 6

Humanoid but still inhuman/monstrous/weird in some way: 8

Essentially humans/Humans in costumes: 7

Armour:

Explicitly Creatures/Animals/Naturalistic Monsters/etc: 40

Inhuman/Monstrous in other ways (example- Robots/objects/undead): 5

Anthropomorphic animals/creatures (Furries inclu robotic anthros): 11

Humanoid but still inhuman/monstrous/weird in some way: 7

Essentially humans/Humans in costumes: 1

[kazzikkiii]

just gonna leave this here.

[stormyoceans]

i guess it's being emotional about phum hour because i keep thinking about beer telling peem that phum was sent abroad to live with some relatives back when he was 4-5 years old and only got back to thailand for secondary school, which means around age 12

phum spent 7-8 years in a foreign country, in the time in which a child experiences rapid cognitive, social, emotional, and physical development. and he spent those years locked in his room with only a plushie and fang's calls as company

and then instead of founding a warm family welcoming back and telling him they missed him, his parents made sure to make him feel even more unwanted by celebrating their client's birthday over their own son's

and the more you think about the few things we know about him the sadder the damn picture gets: tan finding phum and fang getting beaten up by some guys and then phum being the one to ask tan both 'why did you help us' and 'aren't you going to dress your wound', 'when he (toey) was a kid he got teased often. fang and i looked out for him', 'i've never gotten to do something like this before. my parents usually can't make time for me. only fang and beer can make time to play with me'..........

like phum is rich and handsome and you'd think people would flock towards him but i wonder how many of them tried to get close to him just because of those reasons only to turn his back to him when they realized he was too closed off and required too much effort. and yet, despite everything he went through, under that 'top brat' mask there's someone sooooo warm and caring

peem is right, phum did a damn great job getting through those times

[havocspiral]

mirabelle isat in bubble braids...