#sorry not sorry for going crazy because of a fictional man

[prototypelq]

Pan thoughts because I am normal TM about him:

- Unless Grace shows her interest in him (aka romance route / Let's Dance), Pan is almost absent from the story.

He only appears twice - in the beginning, and at the end for the trial - cause that's a formal procedure all gods have to be present for. There are four optional encounters: if you come meet him before the Reliquary, he'll ask to complete a favour for Asterion, another encounter is handing in that the favour, Medusa encounter, plus the final meeting before the trial. Freddie is present with Grace for the most of the game, Apollo - has at least 6 encounters, even if you don't play the game with him (apartment, Underworld, Aphrodite's Party, Hades, Trial), Persephone - 3 encounters (Underworld, Hades, Trial). Back to Pan - none of the gods really speak about him. Except Persephone and Apollo, who are trying to both dismiss and point fingers at him at the beginning. After that, none of the gods ever mentions Pan again.

It's almost like he is very much an outsider among the pantheon, probably right until he needs a favour, or somebody needs his favours.

- It's kind of logical that Pan is the outsider in the pantheon, if you think about it thematically. All the other gods have clear niches they control and keep in order. Nature is anything But order, in fact, if nature is anything - it finds order only in constant struggle or the constant redefining of scale, in Change. So yeah, a god of Dis-order could very much be antithetical to other gods of Order. If Calliope was looking to shake things up, then he would certainly be one of her first choices for allies in her quest.

- This makes it easy to understand how exactly Pan got tangled up in the whole mess. He span his web of favours, which were all small little things (probably), but it caught a prey so big Pan was stunned so hard, his agency basically went out the window, until the case was closed.

- Okay, now for the particular lines in different versions of I Can Teach You (aka Lost Girls, Time To Shine and Morning Fades), if, For Some Reason you haven't finished the game yet - please do. It's short and definitely worth your time, cause it's amazing. also I really need to talk about this so Big Tangent Ahead

I'll do these song by song.

Morning Fades - It's in the name of the song - Pan is... pretty much the only god who reminds Grace she is or a strict timer. Every other god, by some reason or another - drags her into their own problems, which she helps to solve, and only after that can she make progress in the case. You know. While being sentenced to death in a week. Grace has to solve the problems these gods have been brewing in for, at least, decades AND prove her innocence, so her sentence to death can be prevented. Pan is the only one, who reminds Grace, multiple times, that 'Time's a wasting', she needs to hurry, and doesn't take any more of her time than he should.

Morning fades and the day wastes away, Grace You can't wait, Grace, don't delay

Another line, that gives us a very clear insight into Pan is this line right here:

This Freddie is a friend you can use, but this isn't playtime Time to choose

You get this line only in the purest form of Morning Fades (aka all blue), in which Pan leads unsure Grace along through the song, but Freddie is ignored and she does a final solo to try to get through to Grace. Pan sings those lines with remorse, he values the devotion Freddie demonstrates, even if he did call her Lost Girl a few times throughout the song. But despite his own lines - previously they were Time To Play, now that time is over, cause the song is over. This is the time to solve murder of a goddess, and while Pan does not like dividing the girls, he sees there is no place for Freddie in this adventure, and thinks that it would be too dangerous for her.

There will be more evidence of Pan's personal motivation later, I have only just remembered the Green version of Morning Fades, and it's very interesting. This is the song where Grace tries to follow Pan's advice and direction in her first steps, then gets carried away by the song and her bestie into their own fun musical, all while ignoring Pan.

You think you don't need me, just cause' you can't read me

This line is quite straightforward - Pan knows he is acting shady, but reinforces that his intentions are genuine, if only the girls could see through their first impression of him.

Time To Shine - now, this version is interesting, cause here we have Grace who is rebelling against every possible notion of control, or even help, and Pan loves this song anyway. This song proves that Pan was honestly just trying to help (and quieten the misguided guilt he feels), so as long as Grace can use her power and has a mind sharp enough to find the proof the needs - he is satisfied. And he really is! It's clear from the get-go that Grace is independent, clever and fiery enough to handle everything herself, so he rolls along with her, confident in her abilities.

Actually, in this version he is quieter than normal - he throws a line about Freddie, but otherwise between the first Time to Shine and the star scene chorus he keeps silent - Grace wants spotlight, so he steps aside to hear her out.

Yes! This is your time! Time to shine!

It's also fun that, in his first verse he always Grace to hurry up, here instead he is getting so excited about her number that he throws in

Yes, a solo! Go for it, we got time! (solo) Grace, you're starting to comprehend Let me show you more, or show me the door!

He sings that line very excitedly, which is very silly and fun xD. It is to be expected then, that Pan joins in Grace's final Time To Shine chorus almost instantly.

Lost Girls - this song is very interesting, cause in this version the girls are pretty much dismissing Pan completely, and fully give into the song, they get carried away to have their own fun musical number. This time Pan has to ground them back into reality - in other versions he gets excited over the number, well, not in this one. This Pan is grumpy - his advice is being dismissed, he is not taken seriously, and he cannot fully deliver the message he wants to convey, or the lesson he wants Grace to learn.

Grace: Lost girls, lost girls, you all love your lost girls, A rescue that you can take home Pan: I won't say you need saving, you're not drowning, you're waving

In this first Lost Girls verse he is still being playful, but even in the beginning he has to placate with both hands that he is not a danger and only wants to help. But if Grace keeps ignoring Pan's advice, he starts to get more serious.

You're lucky I got to you There's people who'll come for you I'm hurt you're making so much ado You're lost and I'm trying to help!

Okay so, knowing the events of the game, I can't be the only one thinking of Aphrodite here, right? That's my best guess as to what Pan is referring. The girls keep on getting carried away, and he has to just straight-up state he only wants to help.

Interesting, that even after being ignored and rightfully grumpy about that, Pan is still willing to join into the trio singing together. He's also delighted by that solo is particular xD

I never knew I had that in me!

Even after half a song, Freddie still keeps freaking out about the whole 'musical' thing, and to that Pan says, with a literal facepalm:

You don't understand Nothing for Grace will ever be the same!

If Grace goes for the full song here and green ending, then Grace and Eddie happily continue singing their troubles away, and at this, Pan really gets frustrated. So much so, that he goes plainspeak, even though the Green Lost Girls solo seems to be his favourite moment in any variation of I Can Teach you.

Really? Now you're just being silly Maybe the Muse isn't feeling the gravity? Or do you refuse and, like ostriches, happily stick your heads in the sand? Grace, I could be your right hand Freddie, you'd better leave her alone Let me do what I do, or she'll sink like a stone

The way Pan keeps on insisting so hard that Grace needs someone's guidance has me thinking that either there have been accidents with new idols, who were unable to control their powers properly before, or maybe it was his own personal struggle with control over the abilities, and he was wishing hard for someone's help at the time.

It's also weird that he keeps on pressing that Grace needs assistance here, even after she has choreographed an entire musical number right before his very eyes, all without a hitch, and she is clearly a natural. For some reason the way Grace and Freddie get so much carried away scares him particularly? Then again, in the Time to Shine versions Pan is perfectly fine with letting Grace do whatever she wants, because she demonstrated skill and independence. In this version, she demonstrates the same things, but uses them to have a song with her bestie, and This triggers Pan for a reason. Interesting.

Kind of a similar situation happens with Green version of Morning Fades, actually. The end of the song has Pan start the usual Morning Fades chorus, but then the girls come in and literally steal the spotlight from him, and this forces Pan into plainspeak.

Pan: You think I'm the danger? You have no idea. I wouldn't blame you for wanting to hide, But do we make merry or should you get ready? Finally grow up and take it outside. Grace: So wait, are you saying you won't work with Freddie? Pan: She couldn't be less qualified

A stark contrast to the original full-blue Morning Fades, where Pan regrets dividing the girls, isn't it.

So Pan has mentally allowed a very specific fun-zone, meaning this one musical number, which he is happy and excited to engage in, but he won't let the girls get carried away with their fun forever, and tries very hard to ground them back if they do.

[foccaccia]

does anyone have recommendations for fictional media that has like. actual lesbians in it. not like supergirl Two White Skinny Girls, One Blonde and One Brunette Kiss media, or "its implied lesbianism!!!" but just regular fucking lesbians

[elllisaaa]

TEACHER'S PET - J. YUNHO

SUMMARY : being a fan of Jane Austen's novels, you should have guessed that your attraction for complicated love stories would put you in trouble at some point. but you wouldn't have imagined that the trouble in question would be named Jeong Yunho - your favourite professor.

-> pairing : literature professor!yunho x student fem!reader

-> words count : 30.4 k

-> genre : college au, smut & angst

-> warnings (w. some spoilers of the plot) : soft!dom!yunho x sub!reader, teasing, dirty talk, praising, marking, hair pulling, doggy, protected and unprotected sex, creampie, body worship, use of 'good girl' and 'slut', oral (f. and m. receiving), deep throating, cum play, manhandling, fingering, begging, riding, semi-public sex, yunho has a big cock, hand kink, facefucking, drunk sex, yunho is calling reader angel (yes, that's a warning), age gap (8 years), mention of fwb relationship w. san, cheating, mentions of family issues, self-depreciation

+ the way i'm depicting yunho does not represent him, it's only a work of fiction.

-> 18+ content bellow, minors dni

-> reblogs and feedbacks are appreciated ! sorry for any mistakes, english is not my first language

-> author's note : should i say sorry for the enormous word count ? maybe. will i apologize ? not at all because i'm so fucking proud of this fic. it might be one of my favourite things i've ever written, i quite fell in love with reader this time lmaoo. i started the process of the plot back in january, and it took me more than 3 months to write this but it's amazing in my opinion, so i hope you'll like it as much as i loved writting it ! also that is such a detail but yes, prices are in euros in this fic because i'm french and i cannot physically write dollars and not feel weird, i'm sorry, bear with it. i should also say sorry for the angst but it don't wanna either, i already cried to myself when i put it into words, it's your turn to suffer.

-> playlist : older by isabel larosa - white mustang by lana del ray - crazy in love by sofia carlberg - middle of the night by elley duhé - reflections by the neighborhood - daddy issues by the neighborhood - babydoll by ari abdul - easier by bernard park - i love you by billie eilish

-> masterlist | ateez masterlist

Jeong Yunho had been the big sensation and the object of all conversations since he started teaching at your university. It was during your freshman year that he joined your college as the new professor of British literature. And honestly, just knowing that you wouldn’t be forced to listen to an old man repeating the same story about how he almost won the Pulitzer Prize twenty years ago over and over was already a relief. But the fact that your new teacher was also very attractive did get you even more interested in his classes. 

Of course, at first, you were like all the other girls on campus, gushing over how handsome Mr. Jeong was, and how well the suits he always wore were perfectly fitting his tall frame. But you quickly discovered a dedicated and very good professor. He helped your whole promotion to go over all the things your old teacher should have presented to you, and thanks to him, you passed your exams. So even if you couldn’t ignore that he was very, very hot, you were mostly glad to have a professor as passionate as you about literature - his handsomeness was only the cherry on top. 

Every time you had a class with him, you knew that this was about to be a good day, because they were always stimulating and never boring. And maybe, just maybe it was because you were always trying to contradict him. In your defense, Mr. Jeong always led you to approach a new subject with an interesting or controversial point of view, and you were often disagreeing, or had things to say about it. And since not many people in your class were really interested in British literature and were only here to admire your teacher for one or two hours, it was not rare for him and you to end up debating about anything and everything. And today was no exception.

“- What do you want me to say Y/N ? This is how things are, I can’t change them.

- Then you’ll have to convince me, Mr. Jeong.”

Your professor chuckled while shaking his head. You were always like this, always trying to get him to surrender and admit that you had the right answer. Yunho didn’t really understand if it was because you liked to be right or simply because you loved a little bit of challenge, but either way, he appreciated how attentive you were to his classes, and how you were trying to question everything every single time. It was stimulating for the class, for you, and even for him. 

“- In this precise case, it is not my job to do that. The fact that you have your opinion on the subject is a very good thing, but there is no right or wrong answer. What we are trying to do here is simply to interpret what message Poe wanted to convey, we can never be sure if our interpretation is the one he had in mind. And I would love to continue this debate but it’s time for you to go, so don’t forget to read the extract of Wuthering Heights I gave you and I’ll see you next week.” 

You rapidly packed up your things to run back to your dorms. Friday often meant a girl’s night out with your two best friends, and you wanted to have enough time to get ready. You three always got to the same bar where you met each other, one of the first nights you went out during your first year of college. You crossed paths with Lola first, the barmaid having messed up both of your cocktail orders. And both of you clicked instantly, despite her being two years older than you. At one point, while you were dancing together, you noticed a girl alone being clearly annoyed by a guy who repeatedly tried to touch her. So your new friend and you acted like you knew her and forced the guy to go away. It turned out that the girl you had kind of saved, Dia, was in the same major as you. You ended up spending the night all together and you kept in touch after that.

And despite Lola having finished her studies before Dia and you, she stayed around the city because of her work. So once in a while, you took the opportunity to go out at the bar where you met. And tonight was one of those nights, and after the exhausting week you had, you kinda needed it anyway. Your roommate, Dajeong, helped choose your outfit and you got ready together because she was also going out with some of her friends, chatting about your days and the new rumours about the basketball team. And of course, you had to dress up a little, putting on a skimpy, little black dress that did wonders to underline the curves of your body. During these concert nights you were going to, there were always a lot of pretty attractive men playing instruments, and that kinda got you going. So you didn’t put away the thought of finishing the night in someone else’s bed. 

Dia picked you up to go to the bar where you joined Lola and immediately ordered your favourite drink. It felt good to finally rest after the awful week you had. It all started on Monday, when you slept in and missed your first class of the morning. And because you had to rush to the second, you forgot your lunch at home and the charger of your laptop. On Thursday, you forgot about the work session you had with some of your classmates for a group project and arrived late. And finally one of your professors claimed to be disappointed in you because you handed him your assignment one hour late because you had an unplanned class at the due date. So yeah, you really needed this drink with your friends. 

“- So I didn’t warn you beforehand, but I’m gonna sing on stage tonight !”

You looked at Lola, dumfounded, while Dia squealed excitedly beside you. Your older friend had tried to make her music known for the past year and it was finally starting to work out for her. Lola was incredibly talented, so you were certain that she would succeed and you were also very very happy for her, a big smile stretching your lips as you gave her a hug.

“- Girl ! That’s incredible ! I’m so proud of you, you deserve it !”

Dia joined your hug, the three of you giggling.

“-  I’m so fucking exited, we were waiting for it !”

It was still a little early, but the bar was already filled with people, and even if it was still pretty cold outside, you were immediately hit by a wave of heat as soon as you stepped in. You really loved the atmosphere of these kinds of nights, where everyone was friendly because they were only there to spend a good time. Lola had to go backstage to get ready, but you quickly stumbled on some of Dia’s friends with whom you talked for a while and since the vibes matched, you decided to stay together to enjoy the concert. One guy had particularly tried to get your attention, and you weren’t mad about it with how good he looked. He was very tall, and could seem intimidating but whenever he smiled or laughed, you could see how kind and sweet he was. While he was saying something to one of his friends, you quickly tapped on Dia’s shoulder.

“- Hey, what’s the name of your friend that’s very tall ?”

She answered you with a smirk, and mischievous glint in his eyes when she leaned towards you.

“- Why ? Does he interest you ?

- Maybe. So ?

- His name’s Mingi. Have fun girl.”

You slapped her arm lightly, rolling your eyes at her comment. But truly, you didn’t mind the playful bantering between the two of you, loving it even. You let her go back to her conversation while you offered yourself and Mingi another drink since you had finished your beer long ago. It happened that Mingi was just as interesting as you thought he would be, and you even spent the first few performances of the night simply talking with him, too immersed in the discussion to acknowledge your surroundings. It’s only when Lola got up on stage that you started to pay attention, cheering for her after she introduced herself to the public. 

And honestly, she nailed it, hyping the crowd like she did that for her whole life. Dia and you surely clapped and screamed for her the loudest. Lola came to you as soon as she got off the stage, hugging both of you and thanking you for coming to see her and cheering for her. She looked the happiest when she was singing, and you couldn’t be more proud of her as all of Dia’s friends were congratulating and praising her. And from this point on, you didn’t have many clear memories, only knowing that you got drink after drink, getting more comfortable with each one. 

Usually, you wouldn’t be all over someone you had just met, but Mingi was really a good guy, he was attractive and you were drunk, so you didn’t mind the way he was kissing you shamelessly, only kissing him back and letting him roam his hands all over your body. But as always when you were tipsy, your mind was jumping from one thing to another. It didn’t matter that you couldn’t see neither Lola nor Dia around anymore, all you wanted was another drink right now.

“- I’m gonna get one more beer, want one ?”

Mingi tried to stop you when you got up, stumbling a little while standing on your feet, the world spinning all around you.

“- Don’t you think you already drank enough Y/N ?

- You’re cute worrying about me ! I’m okay ! I’ll be back in a minute !”

You were practically screaming, and even with the loud music and voices of people around you, you were very loud, making your way over to the bar while chuckling to yourself the whole time. You dropped onto one of the stools in front of the bar, ordering yourself another beer. It’s only when you turned your head on your right side that you noticed someone you knew quite well. 

“- Mr. Jeong !”

The said Mr. Jeong was straddled by your loud voice and even more by your body colliding with his as you kind of dropped your weight on him, circling him with your arms as if you were trying to hug him. For a few seconds, your teacher remained frozen in place, not knowing how to react, before his brain seemed to reactivate again, and pushed you off of him, holding you by your shoulders. Only a quick look at your flushed cheeks, lazy smile and glossy eyes was enough for him to guess that you were drunk. 

“- Y/N ? 

- That’s me ! What are you doing here though ? Teachers are not supposed to go out !”

Yunho couldn’t help but laugh quietly at your behaviour. You were always so neat and put together during his classes, always so focused and organised. So to see you let loose like this, wearing a skimpy little dress, obviously very drunk and your speech so slurred it was actually hard to understand you, was really a shock. 

“- You’ll be surprised to know that I have a life outside of being your teacher.”

Yunho knew that he shouldn’t find the pout on your lips cute, but he did. 

“- ‘m not surprised, you too hot to be a teacher.”

He blamed the alcohol for the way his heart started beating faster at your comment, and even more when you leaned against him once again, breathing in his scent. 

“- ‘m so tired… 

- Where are your friends ? Maybe they can get you home.

- Don’t know…”

You were starting to feel really dizzy. And not the kind of daze when you’re just feeling the agreable effects of all the drinks you had, it was the kind of daze when you’re starting to feel bad, when your head starts to hurt and all you want is your bed and silence. Yunho tried to observe the crowd and spot the friends he usually saw you hanging with around campus, but no one was in sight. So he stood up, paying for his last drink, before helping you walk towards the exit. 

“- Where we going ?

- I’m driving you home. You’re clearly drunk and you lost your friends, it’s not safe for you to stay here alone.” 

You were too far gone to be embarrassed about your behaviour, or to resist too much, so you let your professor drag you to his car and help you get inside, even buckling up your seat belt for you. You only find it in yourself to give him your address, and text Dia to warn her that you were getting home before dozing off. Yunho had to wake you up when he parked in front of your dorm. 

“- We’re here, Y/N.”

You whined, claiming you were comfortable and didn’t want to move, that it was cold outside and the heat in his car was far much better. Yunho sighed while getting out of the car. Helping one of his drunk students get home was not really on his bingo card of the week, but he couldn’t risk you getting in a dangerous situation. He opened the car door on your side after having taken off his jacket, handing it to you as he helped you get out of the vehicle. No words were exchanged as you put on the black leather jacket that was obviously ten times too big for you, drowning your silhouette inside of it. But you could feel the warmth that Yunho’s body had left, and it made the cold of the wind outside less chilly. 

“- You will be alright to get inside alone ?”

You nobbed your head, the nap you took during the way back to your dorm having sobered you up a little. Now, all you wanted was to wrap yourself in your sheets because you were starting to feel the second-hand embarrassment of this whole situation. 

“- Thank you Mr. Jeong.

- You’re welcome Y/N, drink water and take a lot of rest, okay ?”

You nobbed once again, feeling your cheeks heating up when he pressed your shoulder lightly. You didn’t find anything to answer so you decided to simply get inside, not seeing how Yunho kept an eye on you until he was sure you got inside, and only did he drive off. When you pushed the door open, Dajeong was not back from her party yet, so you were met with a silence that instantly eased your headache. You rummaged through the drawers of the kitchen to find some painkillers and a glass of water, gulping the medication down before heading straight to your room. You hadn’t the energy to take off your makeup, nor your outfit, slipping in bed with Yunho’s jacket still on. But it smelled good, it was so warm, like a little cocoon you loved to be wrapped into. And maybe that was why you dreamed of him that night.

The days after this hell of a night, you were hit with the most terrible feeling of embarrassment and guilt you’ve ever felt. Embarrassment because it was definitely what you should feel after having to be driven home by one of your teachers because you were too drunk, and at that, a very attractive and smart teacher - and also your favourite one. Also to be seen in a state like this by him had you mortified. You always tried to remain serious and professional in front of Mr. Jeong, and you never wanted your personal life to interfere like that with your studies. Guilt because he was certainly there to enjoy his own night out and you wrecked that by forcing him to look after you like a little child. You even threw a tantrum because it was too cold, and every time you saw the jacket you even had the audacity to sleep into, you felt even more bad and ashamed of yourself. You didn’t even dare tell Dia and Lola who helped you get home, claiming it was only a guy you knew. 

You also didn’t want rumors to spread. They were fast to go around students, and if you handed Mr. Jeong his jacket back after his class, it would have been enough for people to believe that you two were in a relationship. So you decided to go and see him after his classes in his office, to be sure that you wouldn’t be bothered. You had buried his jacket at the bottom of your bag, as if everyone had X-Ray vision and could see what was inside, walking as fast as you could through the hallways. You had done nothing wrong, but it still felt like it and you had to mentally prepare yourself for the conversation that was going to happen. 

The door was open when you arrived at his office, but you still knocked on it lightly to signal your presence. Mr. Jeong immediately looked up from the assignments he was grading, smiling when he saw it was only you.

“- Come on in Y/N, and close the door behind you.”

You were fairly unable to utter a word, sticking to nodding your head as you did what he told you. Usually, when you came to his office, you would immediately sit down, but you didn’t feel at ease at all today, too shameful to even look at Mr. Jeong in the eyes. 

“- Do you feel better than this weekend ? You didn’t seem very well yesterday either.”

The fact that he was still worrying about you was making you feel even more uncomfortable. 

“- Uh, yes, thank you. Actually I came by to apologise for my behaviour. I was very drunk, and I didn’t know what I was doing anymore. Thank you so much for driving me home, and again, I’m sorry for how I acted and if I said anything disrespectful to you. And here’s your jacket, I washed it for you. And again, I’m so, so sorry.”

You got the jacket out of your bag, putting it on his desk, neatly folded. Your heart was beating unsteady and your breathing was loud. You couldn’t even remember if you actually said anything weird to him, but knowing you and how you had no filter when you were wasted, you surely did. Mr. Jeong stood up to get his jacket back, hanging it on the back of his desk chair. The smile on his lips was reassuring and sweet, and he didn’t seem mad at all, but you couldn’t help the anxiousness from taking over you.

“- It’s not that bad, it has already happened to everyone to be drunk and do stupid things, believe it or not, it happened to me too.

- To bother your teacher because you were completely wasted ?”

Yunho chuckled at your remark, and he was happy to see a small smile spread on your face too. You were always trying to not look him in the eyes since the beginning of the week, and you seemed very embarrassed when Yunho didn’t want you to be. He did that out of kindness, because you were one of his favourite students and also because he couldn��t let you alone when you were in this state, he couldn’t have looked at himself in a mirror if he had let you without anyone to look after you when you were so vulnerable. 

“- Maybe not, but you get my point. It didn’t bother me, and you didn’t say anything strange, don’t worry. We can just forget all about that if you prefer, but I can assure you that you did not do anything wrong Y/N, I’m just happy I was able to get you home safely.”

Your shoulders immediately relaxed, and it was as if you could breathe more easily. You knew that your professor was honest, that he wouldn’t lie to you about something like that. 

“- Thank you so much for taking care of me. I gotta go for my next class now, but really, I’m very grateful Mr. Jeong.

- No problem, just be more careful next time.

- Of course. Have a good day !”

He greeted you back, watching as you left his office and closed the door behind you. And finally, Yunho allowed himself to slump back in his desk chair, sighing loudly. He didn’t lie to you, didn’t tell you that to make you feel better. Except the fact that you did say that you found him hot. That compliment really messed up with his mind. You were always so serious and focused during his classes, and of course, it was obvious you wouldn’t spend your weekends locked up in your room, but seeing you like this was so new, so unusual. The way you looked at him, the way you touched him, the way your dress was riding your thighs up, the way his jacket was now smelling like your intoxicating perfume - the scent of you invading the room little by little. Everything about this was making him see you in a whole different light. 

The only thing Yunho promised himself when he became a professor was to never, ever, find one of his students attractive. Maybe it was because he was young, and much closer to your age when he started teaching, and that he quickly noticed the eyes some of the girls were giving him. Anyway, he swore on his dignity and morals that he would never have this type of thoughts about a student. But now that he got to see you in your skimpy black dress, which was hugging every one of your curves perfectly, while looking him in the eyes and confessing how hot he was may have him reconsidering his decision.

He knew he shouldn’t see you this way, he knew he shouldn’t search your profile on instagram, knew that he shouldn’t look at your photos nor check you out in your pretty little outfits that you loved to post. But he did it anyway, scrolling through your account as if he was a teenager all over again. And when he stumbled over the photos you posted this summer, body on display in your little bikinis, he knew he had to stop before his thoughts started to drift to places he shouldn’t. Because it was dirty, it was disgusting and he shouldn’t think about you, his student, this way. This should have been enough to stop his mind from going back to this night, but it didn’t. And Yunho felt incredibly bad for not being able to control himself.

You felt a little better since your conversation with Mr. Jeong, reassured that you did not say anything weird to him, and that you haven’t made him uncomfortable. That didn’t ease your mind from the fact that you slept in his jacket and even had the nerves to feel cosy because you were surrounded by his scent. But you tried your best to forget it all, just like he advised you to, even if you had to be honest and admit that you did often think about the way he held you by your waist when he helped you walk to his car. 

You shook your head as you tried to concentrate back on the synopsis of the book you had in hand right now. You decided to go to a book shop with Dia this afternoon after your classes. It was something you loved to do together from time to time, always promising yourself that you won’t buy anything but coming back home with at least one new book anyway. You were not paying attention to your surroundings, entirely focused on the book you were looking at, and you didn’t feel it when someone came up behind you. 

“- I see that you’re very dedicated to my classes Y/N.”

You turned around quickly, not needing to see him to recognize the familiar voice of your teacher. He was standing there, dressed more casually than the usual suits he was always wearing for class, only in black pants and a creamy sweater. You tried not to make the blush on your face obvious as you composed yourself before answering. 

“- Well, your recommendations are always great Mr. Jeong, so I might listen to you once again. But only if it gets me one bonus point on my next assignment.”

Yunho couldn’t help the cheeky smile that spreaded on his face whenever you teased him. It wasn’t the behaviour students should have towards their teacher, but he liked it too much to ask you to stop. 

“- You know very well that I don’t get corrupted this easily. 

- And if I bring you some chocolate ?

- Then I might reconsider your proposal.”

You were ready to add something when you were interrupted by the loud ringtone of your phone. You excused yourself and turned around to answer the call. Yunho didn’t mean to eavesdrop on your conversation with a certain “Sannie”, but at the same time, if it was that private, you would’ve walked away, right ? He wondered if you were used to giving surnames like that to every one of your friends or if this guy could be your boyfriend. But why would that interest him in the first place anyway ? It wasn’t like he cared if you were single or taken. And it was none of his business, but still, the question slipped past his lips when you hung up. 

“- Was that your boyfriend ?

- Oh, no, not at all ! San is my best friend, he has been since we were kids.”

Yunho only nodded, already feeling the second-hand embarrassment of asking such a personal and inappropriate question. He needed to get out of here so you didn’t notice the way his ears were heating up, and you gave him the perfect opportunity to do just that. 

“- I have to go but I’ll get this one. 

- Feel free to share your thoughts about it. 

- I’ll do it, thank you. Have a good day Mr. Jeong. 

- You too Y/N.”

And you left with a warm smile, asking yourself if you would have a stranger interaction than this one in your life. How come that one of the most handsome men you’ve ever met, who also happened to be your teacher, wanted to know about your love life ? You didn’t know how to handle this fact, didn’t know why he asked you that either. But it was messing with your head, making you think about things you shouldn’t, about things you never even considered before this night. Well, that was a bit of lying to yourself. Because you did think about him in this light before, did dream about him touching you in such inappropriate ways for a teacher and his student. But you pushed these thoughts away, not ready to dig into why he was making you feel like that and wouldn’t leave your mind.  

And Yunho couldn’t help thinking the same : how he didn’t see you like that before having you all pliant in his hold, before seeing you wearing your little black dress, before hearing you calling him hot. But if he was honest with himself, he did think that you were pretty during the first class you had with him. He did think on numerous occasions that you were smart and the kind of person he would love to go out with. But he couldn’t. Because he was your teacher, and because he was a lot much older than you. It would be inappropriate. 

Even with all of these considerations in mind, Yunho couldn’t stop himself from stealing glances at you every time you stepped a foot into his classroom. He tried to be as subtle as possible because he didn't want to make this situation even weirder than it already was, especially for you. Little did he know you did the same, observing him every time he wasn’t looking your way, struggling to not blush whenever you felt his eyes on you. And Yunho kept telling himself that he couldn’t do that, that it was not right to look at you the way he did, to think about the things he was thinking about every time his eyes landed on you. But he couldn’t stop it. It felt wrong, but for some kind of reason, he was unable to forget about you. 

“- Did the Mr. Jeong hype finally get to your head ?”

You wiped your head towards Dia, heart beating unsteady. She couldn’t know about what happened almost three weeks ago, right ? No she couldn't have guessed, except maybe if someone saw him driving you home. But your friend only chuckled and slapped your arm when she saw the defeated expression on your face.

“- You look like you saw a ghost ! It’s alright bestie, I wouldn’t judge you for finding him handsome, it’s a fact everyone already established.

- Why are you saying that now ?

- Because you’ve become very distracted whenever we have classes with him, and you don’t participate as much as before. Is it because you finally see him like we all do ?”

You groaned and shook your head, but Dia was too close to the truth to not unsettle you. You knew that you did nothing wrong, that it was normal to think that your obviously very attractive teacher was, in fact, very attractive. But you couldn’t kill the guilt creeping in every time you looked at his hands handing back the papers a little too long, or when you caught yourself wondering if his skin smelt as good as his leather jacket did. 

“- First, I’ve never said that he isn’t good looking, and second, I have enough decency to not drool over him during said classes.”

Lie. It was a complete lie. But Dia didn’t need to know that. She didn’t need to know that your professor had invaded your thoughts in a way you didn’t think would be possible, and in a way that was definitely not appropriate. 

“- Decency doesn’t exist when he enters the equation.”

She was not entirely wrong, but you couldn’t let her win, because it would be like admitting to yourself that you did thirst over your teacher, more than you would like to. Luckily for you, Yunho quickly started his class and strangely enough, for the first time since the bar incident, you succeeded in following everything he was saying and not getting too distracted by his hands, or by his smile. 

“- Before I let you go, I wanted to inform you that I decided to create a debate club. I’m aware of what you must all think about these : that they are boring and never pick the subjects you want to discuss. That’s why you’ll be the ones to propose the subjects we will tackle, and you’ll be free to talk about anything you want. It can be music, politics, literature - anything. As long as you respect each others’ opinions, it’s okay for me. If you’re interested, write your name on the sheet on my desk before leaving and that’s all for today. Thank you for your attention, and have a good day.”

Conversations about Mr. Jeong’s propositions were already erupting all around the classroom. You spotted some serious students you already had study sessions with writing down their names, and a bunch of girls who just wanted to check out the teacher for one more hour per week. Dia already warned you that she didn’t have the time to engage in such activities, but you thought it couldn’t be that bad of an idea. After all, you really loved to discuss with people, and this was the perfect occasion to do so. And no, it was not because your professor will be there. Not at all. It only happened that he will animate the whole thing, it was only a coincidence. You got a pen out of your bag and started to write down your name when his now familiar voice interrupted you.

“- I could’ve bet on this.”

You didn’t dare lift your head and meet his gaze, because locking eyes with him in class was one thing - he was far away from you - but having him so close to you suddenly made you nervous. 

“- Am I so predictable ?

- A little, but I’m not complaining. I know that at least one person will actually come and that I will not be alone.”

This time, you had no other choice but to look at him as you had finished writing your name and had no excuse to look at the piece of paper anymore. You knew you shouldn’t feel like this, but your heart still missed a beat when your eyes finally dived into his. You quickly avoided his gaze, pretending to put your pen back in your bag while you searched in your brain to offer him a clever response. 

“- You know me, I’m always here when it comes to debating. 

- I wouldn’t have expected less from you Y/N.”

The way he said your name shouldn’t have made you blush, but it did. You rapidly excused yourself before literally running away from the classroom and all these feelings that shouldn’t invade your mind. It even made you hesitate on your decision to join the debate club. But you didn’t want Mr. Jeong to think that you were not serious. So you went anyway. And even if, as you predicted, not that many people showed up, you still had a good time. You were even able to not think about him in ways you shouldn’t too often. That was until he insisted on giving you all his personal phone number, so he could organise things more easily and give you the opportunity to see museums or expositions you could later discuss on. That was a perfectly sensible decision, obviously.

However, that night when you laid in your bed and couldn’t fall asleep, your fingers hovered over his contact. It was stupid to even think about it. Why would you even send him a text ? And to say what ? Ask him if he had a good day ? Or if he planned anything for the next reunion ? It was stupid, yeah. But you were one click away from sending a text. You threw your phone to the other side of your bed, running your hands over your face. You were so stupid. Stupid for thinking about Jeong Yunho as anything else than your teacher, stupid for thinking that he would even look your way, stupid for thinking that you were any different from all the girls who were swooning over him. You were just like them and even worse. 

The next meeting with the debate club came too quickly for your liking as you were not mentally prepared enough to see the teacher you couldn’t help thinking about all day long. But this was not what occupied your mind today. No. It was this one girl who thought that she was always right just because she said so. Ever since Mr. Jeong announced that the subject was going to be about music and the sense of community it could create, she hadn't shut up, interrupting everyone as if her opinion was more important. And she wouldn’t stop whining about the fact that music was too commercial these days and that there was nothing original anymore, when her playlist was essentially composed of trending songs and Taylor Swift (not that you had something against the girl, you loved some of her songs, but she was far from not being commercial.) And when you tried to argue that, no, music was not only commercial, that there were still good artists and groups that did it because they truly enjoyed and loved making music, she would get mad. Everytime someone else would defend your point of view, she would accuse them of teaming up against her. 

And you were actually a little mad at your teacher for not jumping in and telling something to this girl who was clearly being unreasonable. You ended up saying that you didn’t want to talk anymore, because even if you were not one to give up, you clearly noticed that you couldn’t win this time. You spent the rest of the debate sulking and stealing glances at Mr. Jeong, who was just observing the chaos. You didn’t understand why he would not intervene, and yes, you got that he wanted to let everyone express their opinions, but was it relevant in this case ? You packed up your things rather quickly ; this whole situation put you into a bad mood, and you just wanted to forget it. 

“- Y/N ? Are you alright ?”

His voice straddled you as he came closer to you, letting all the other students go out behind the two of you.

“- Oh, uh, yeah, I’m good. Just a little frustrated, but it’s alright.

- I understand, but this moment is also made for that, even if you’re not agreeing with her, you have to respect it. 

- I know, I don’t have a problem with her not being on my side, I just don’t like it when people victimise themselves to make me feel bad and let them have the last word. That’s not what a debate is about.”

You tried to stay focused on your bottle of water in your hands, and to not stare at him too much. He was wearing one of his black suits once more, and even more since the bar incident, it was doing something to you. 

“- Well, I can’t say you’re wrong, but not everyone here is as mature as you are. You have to take it into consideration. And it is by talking with people like you that people like her will get it and grow up.”

You shrugged, turning your head to the side because you couldn’t hold his gaze anymore. You knew deep down that he was right, but you were too frustrated to admit it right now. 

“- I’ll let you sleep on that Y/N, but don’t let it deter you from coming next time, your interventions are important and I value them. A lot.”

You nodded before saying your goodbyes and quite literally running away from him, once again. He couldn’t make you feel so frustrated you wanted to break something, and the next second made your heart beat like crazy. Because his words surely did. You knew by the way he was often relying on your answers in class that he must appreciate you as a student, but to be aware that he also liked who you were as a person was something else. It was getting bad, really bad, because you couldn’t keep under control the feelings he made appear in you. And you knew it was wrong, knew that he was your teacher, knew that he probably - surely - didn’t feel the same, but you were already in too deep. 

And Yunho couldn’t help thinking the same as he watched you go away. He shouldn’t feel such attraction for his students, and he shouldn’t try to get closer to you, and he shouldn’t try to do all these things that led you to be alone with him. But still, he chose the next subject because he knew he would get a reaction out of you, because he knew it would get you all passionate about it and he loved when you were like this. 

He didn’t miss his shot because you were the first to talk when he announced that today’s session will be about Jane Austen and feminism. Yunho knew she was one of your favourite authors as you often quoted her in your assignments and used her novels as examples, so he was even aware of your opinion on them. Thus as he was regularly doing during his classes, he decided to go against your views, just to see how you would react. It was wrong to do it only to see you get passionate and involved and slightly mad at him - because you both knew that he already told you that he agreed with your ideas. 

“- I understand what you’re saying Y/N, but the fact that Austen never got married but still insisted on talking about marriage in every one of her novels could also show that it was a dream of hers, and not feminism.”

Again, you were feeling so frustrated against your teacher. But this time, it was directed straight to him. You couldn’t figure out why he would do this, nor why he was so dedicated to debating with you in particular, and not with all the other students that were agreeing with you. 

“- On this aspect, her personal life has nothing to do with it. On the contrary, it reinforces what she’s showing. In Pride and Prejudice for example, Lizzie doesn’t accept Darcy’s proposal until he changes and really proves that he loves her. Plus Darcy doesn’t do all these things so she would agree to marry him, he does it only because he loves her truly. She depicts marriage as something you should do out of love, the only happy marriages in her novels are the ones where the two parties are in love with each other. Like Jane and Bingley, and you can contrast with Lydia and Wickham and how their union is never shown as a good thing, for either them or the Bennets’. I think she never got married because she despised the men of her era, and that they wouldn’t meet her expectations, because she wanted a marriage of love, not of arrangement, or relationships or money. That’s why she is showing them so much in her books, because it reflects how she didn’t like the view on marriages during the Victorian era and the sexism she was surely enduring because of her being a writer and not trying to hide it.”

You barely breathed in between your sentences, and when you finally stopped talking, you felt like you just ran a marathon. Mr. Jeong’s gaze never left yours as you spoke, and the intensity of it was making butterflies come alive in your stomach. It was as if you could feel the tension emanating from him, from his eyes staring down at you. He seemed to snap out of his haze when someone voiced out their agreements to your little speech. And after that, he quieted down just as you did. But you could still feel him stealing glances at you, and you couldn’t help doing the same. 

He was wearing another one of his suits - a three piece grey suit, with thin, white strips on it. He had let go of the jacket a long while ago, and had rolled the sleeves of his shirt up his forearms. And you knew you shouldn’t find that attractive, but you did. You did and it was wrong ; because he was your teacher, and because you were supposed to be a little mad at him for refuting the obvious. 

So like a replay of last week, you stayed back, taking your time to pack up your things and waiting until everybody else left to talk to him one on one. Maybe it wasn’t what a good and well behaved student should do, maybe it wasn’t the most appropriate thing to do when you were feeling so attracted to him. Maybe. But you still carried on with your plan, trying to not get distracted by his handsome face, and his pretty hands arranging some papers on his desk. 

“- Why do you keep on pushing me to justify myself like that ? It’s embarrassing, and everyone was so silent afterwards, it was as if I said something wrong, and it’s not agreeable to feel like you are being ridiculous.”

You never had enough nerves to talk to one of your professors like that, but maybe it was the fact that you had a pretty shitty week, or that the way he was looking at you had you feeling some ways you didn’t want to, but you felt a sudden rush of energy and courage coursing through your veins.

“- You did not say anything stupid Y/N, it was very clever on the contrary. And the reason I keep doing that is because I know you have it in you to argue with me and produce this kind of well organised speech. That’s where I want to bring all of my students, but you can always improve and develop your skills. This is what I’m training you for.

- I’m not practising to go to war, Mr. Jeong. All this is not necessary if it makes us feel bad. And why would you do that in front of other students when we already talked about this in class and they all saw you agree with me ? 

- I told you, it’s only because I want you to be able to justify your answers with precise examples like you did today, because it’s important for your future assignments, for your thesis and even just in everyday life. 

- But you know I’m already able to do all that, so why would you seek out my responses everytime ? It feels like you’re targeting me.”

Your cheeks were heating up as time went on, not only because you felt hot from the way all his attention was entirely focused on you, but also because you were so frustrated you could’ve yelled at him. But you had to remind yourself that he was your teacher and that you couldn’t be that disrespectful, that this was the closest you could get to having an argument with him without getting kicked out of your university. He had come closer to you as the discussion progressed, and the sudden proximity between your two bodies didn’t help with your red cheeks. 

“- Yes, I’m targeting you, because I know you’re capable of coming up with things like this, and that you teach a lot to other people by doing so. I love to see you being passionate and invested in the subjects you’re talking about, it makes it fluid to listen to and to understand. Plus, that’s a debate club, disagreeing with you is my job here.”

You wanted to stay calm and collected so bad, wanted to stay as composed as he always was but you couldn’t help how he heightened all your emotions by his mere presence. And the compliments he was giving you didn’t help you relax either. 

“- Yes, okay, but not when you said you approved my views two weeks ago just to change your mind now and make me look like I’ve been talking nonsense all this time. 

- Don’t rely on me and my opinions Y/N, rely on you and what you’re thinking. Do not let other people dictate what you should think on a subject you know and love. 

- I know that, I’m not dumb, but you’re not just everyone else. You’re my teacher and you know what you’re talking about while I don’t. I’m only making assumptions and theories when you give us facts. It’s not the same. 

-  I don’t know it all, what we're making when talking about books and authors who are not here to confirm or deny is always assumptions. You know that I agree with what you said, you know my opinion on Austen and that’s all that matters. 

- But you made it look like what I was saying was irrelevant, you made me look like a fool and I don’t like it, especially when it’s coming from you.”

The two of you had gotten closer and closer, and you were now facing each other, with nothing in between to separate you anymore. Suddenly, you felt an overwhelming need to breathe in his scent, to take the step ahead that was distancing you from him and cut off the act. 

“- What do you mean especially when it’s coming from me ?”

Your breath accelerated when Yunho stepped forward one more time, getting way much closer than decency would allow. But you didn’t make any movement to escape. Because deep down, you wanted this, you craved this. You saw his hand coming up to your face before feeling his fingers brushing against the skin covering your jaw, leading you to raise your head and dive into his eyes. You’ve never seen him from this angle, but with the light of the late afternoon casting shadows on his face, he had never looked prettier.

“- I asked you a question, Y/N.

- I… It’s inappropriate, I shouldn’t say it, I shouldn’t even think about it.”

Despite your words that should deter him from going any further, he swiped his thumb across your bottom lip, smearing your lip gloss. You could hear your own heart beating, aware of every breath you took and every movement of your body. When your eyes met his once again, it was as if adrenaline was spreading through your veins, a sensation that gave you the impression that you were flying. Your gaze flicked down to his lips one second too long for him not to notice and that was Yunho’s last straw as he let his hands drop down to your waist. 

“- I don’t think I should think about what is on my mind right now either.”

As if it was the hint you needed, you grabbed his neck to pull him down to your level. Your lips brushed against his one time, and the next time they met, it was for a real kiss. Yunho squeezed your waist tighter, tugging you closer to him as he let his desire take over his reason. He shouldn’t do that, but your lips tasted like the vanilla chapstick you were always putting on during his classes and that he was dying inside to kiss away. 

It was like your mouth had a mind on its own, kissing your teacher like your life depended on it. You weren’t thinking about the fact that anybody could come in and interrupt you, you weren’t thinking about the fact that what you were doing was forbidden. All you felt was the softness of his hair between your fingers, his large hands on your lower back, and his tongue playing with yours. It all felt too good to stop. 

“- Where are you going ?”

You were putting on your shoes when Dajeong’s voice interrupted you, a knowing smile on her lips. She knew very well where you were going every time you left late at night, during the weekends, she just wanted to tease you.

“- San invited me over, I’m gonna stay the night.

- Of course you are.”

She gave you a little slap on your ass before going back to the series she was watching on the living room TV. Usually, you would’ve laughed or been as excited as her to see your friend but not today. When San had proposed to you to come to his apartment to fool around, you weren’t surprised. It happened often, when neither of you wanted to be alone, when you needed someone to relieve the pressure. And most of the time, you really enjoyed the time you spent together, fooling around without any feelings. But tonight, it was for more selfish reasons that you said yes. 

Because when San was touching you, you were only able to think back to how Yunho’s fingers squeezing your waist felt. And when he kissed you, you could only think back to the way Yunho’s lips made your whole body come alive again. And when he fucked you, you wished it could be Yunho instead. You felt bad, both because you were using your friend to quit thinking about someone else, and because that someone else was your teacher. 

It shouldn’t have felt so good to kiss him, it shouldn’t have sparked a flame and made you crave more, it shouldn’t have made you want to drop to your knees for him. You should’ve been disgusted with yourself and what you did, you should’ve been apologising to him the very next day. But you couldn’t bring yourself to hate this moment, nor to forget it. It was engraved in your memory, enough for you to search him up on social media even when San was holding you in his arms, both of you still naked. It was wrong, once again, but you already crossed the line too many times to count, so who cared anymore ?

For a few weeks, you didn’t even dare to look at him too long, afraid to remember once again how delicious his lips felt on yours. And you didn’t feel his eyes following your every movement like you grew used to. It felt weird, to not have his gaze focused on you, and to see him avert even looking your way during each one of his classes. You stopped going to the debate class, and you stopped answering every one of his questions during lectures. 

And Yunho felt like he had fucked everything up. He should’ve stopped when he started to be attracted to you. He should’ve stopped when he started to seek out your presence even more. He should’ve stopped before kissing you. After you ran away last time, he considered sending you a text to apologise, and ask you to not say anything about what happened. But he didn’t, he wanted to let you breathe and have some time for yourself. Except that he started to get worried about the situation. You hadn’t tried to talk about it with him, you hadn’t come to the debate class since this incident. He spent all his time trying to figure out how to handle the mess he created. That was the question going through his mind once more when you stepped into his classroom for the debate club, looking around to see that no one except you and him were here. 

“- Uh… I’m sorry, did I miss something ?”

Yunho turned to you, and for the first time in weeks, he really looked at you, taking in your silhouette and your outfit - one of the little skirts you loved so much, and your signature black, thigh boots. He should’ve been stressed to see you again, anxious to have to talk to you about this kiss. But instead he felt relief wash over him, and it was like he could breathe again. He looked down at the paper covering his usually organised desk, realising that he had to answer you, even if his voice was shaking a little. 

“- I cancelled today’s reunion, I wasn’t feeling very well.”

You nodded your head, looking around the classroom as if you were searching for something. You debated in your head if you should address the subject with your teacher or not. You were too nervous to talk about it, afraid that he would act like it didn’t ever happen, or worse, as if it didn’t mean anything to him. You were about to go away, to run away, like the other time, when you heard his voice behind you, loud and clear. 

“- Wait ! Please, wait. We need to talk.”

You hesitated for a few moments, your hand hovering above the doorknob. Yunho saw your arm drop by your side before you turned around, taking some steps in his direction, and he was already relieved that you weren’t going to find him disgusting or scream at him. He didn’t need much time to figure out what he was going to tell you, having replayed this exact scene again and again in his head, too many times for his own good. 

“- I have to apologise for what happened last time. It was never my intention to make you feel uncomfortable, or to scare you away. And I’m also sorry for kissing you like that, it was wrong of me, I should’ve never done that. We can forget all about it, or you can do whatever you want because I’ve done enough to make things worse.”

You stayed silent, for seconds that felt like hours for Yunho. He prayed inside that you were going to forgive him, that you were going to tell him that it was okay, that you would simply not talk about it ever again and let him feel guilty about this for the rest of his life. 

“- It’s okay Mr. Jeong, it was a mistake, it could’ve happened to everyone. And I have some parts to take in this too. But I understand. It was a mistake anyway, it didn’t mean anything.” 

It didn’t mean anything. These were the words he unconsciously hoped you wouldn’t pronounce. Because even if he tried to deny it, it meant something to him. It meant so much that he couldn’t stop thinking about it. It meant so much that everytime he sat at his desk, he thought back to the moment he kissed you. It meant so much that even weeks later, he still didn’t forget the taste of your lips, the feeling of having you so close to him. And he craved it. He needed it again. 

“- It’s okay if you want to think about it as a mistake.

- Why are you saying that ?

- Because for me it wasn’t.”

His eyes crossed yours, enough for him to see this little spark he noticed before he captured your lips last time. Maybe it wasn’t only a mistake for you either. Maybe he didn’t fuck it all up. Maybe he still had a chance to make this right, if there was any way to make all of this right.

“- It did mean something to me. I… I haven't stopped thinking about it. I can’t focus on anything else other than you.”

It was as if your breath was knocked out of your lungs again. He did that too much lately. But the intensity with which he was staring at you and your lips, and his confession had your heart feeling weak. And surely, you shouldn’t indulge in your fantasy. Surely, you shouldn’t let yourself get seduced by your teacher. But you were already in too deep, and you couldn’t ignore anymore the way he was making you feel. 

“- I can’t either. I think… I think you should kiss me again, maybe it’ll help.

- Maybe you’re right.”

Yunho bypassed his desk, and you joined him, throwing yourself in his arms. He cradled your face between his hands, and this time he didn’t hesitate when he put his lips on yours, sighing in relief when the taste of your vanilla chapstick invaded his senses again. And the way you were tugging at his suit jacket to pull him closer to you told him everything he needed to know. 

“- Fuck… I missed you so bad Y/N, thought I had messed up everything.”

You stared up at him, now able to see the lust, the desire he had for you going through his brown eyes, and it made your inside flip. You had dreamt about this so much, even if you would’ve rather died than admitted it. But it was true. You were dreaming about having him so close to you, about having him tell you how much he wanted you, about having him just like this. 

“- You didn’t, not at all.”

That was all the talking that was made. Because you already talked too much, and even if he loved hearing your soft voice, all Yunho needed right now was to taste you again, to drown himself in your body and your addicting, intoxicating scent. You didn’t stop him when he reached for your thighs to lift you up and drop you on his desk, not caring about the assignments sheets you were sitting on. 

You discovered the way his lips against yours felt again, savoured the way his tongue played with yours again. And you loved it just as much as the first time, maybe even more. Because this time, you were truly desperate to feel as much as him as possible. You reached to grab his waist, spreading your legs and bringing him even closer to you. And Yunho complied, because he was just as desperate to finally have you all for himself. He let his hands wander from your back to your thighs, and feeling up your bare skin under his fingers was already driving him crazy. 

You tilted your head to the side when Yunho displaced his kisses from the corner of your mouth, to your jawline and then the side of your neck. He was almost devouring you, but you weren’t complaining : it was exactly what you wanted, exactly what you needed. You felt his hands creep up higher, reaching for the hem of your skirt, and his hot breath hitting the now wet skin of your neck. 

“- Do you know how bad I wanted to do this every time you walked in my classroom wearing those skirts and these boots ? Do you know how hard it was to not think about doing exactly that whenever you were looking at me ?”

You let out a moan, not really knowing if it was because of what he just told you or because of the fact that he just gave you a hickey. Your heart was beating too fast, adrenaline rushing through your veins as Yunho kissed down your clothed-covered body, making his way to where his hands were still laying. But it was only when he dropped on his knees and pushed your legs apart some more that you realised what he was doing, your words getting stuck in your throat and being replaced by a pathetic whimper when he kissed the inside of your left thigh instead.

“- Is that okay ?

- Y-Yes Mr. Jeong.

- Call me Yunho, will you ?”

You quickly nodded your head, already far too gone because of his feather like touch everywhere except where you needed him the most. 

“- Good girl.”

And as if it wasn’t already enough to get another noise out of you, he pushed your skirt higher up your thighs, revealing your soaked panties to his hungry gaze. Immediately, he dived in, licking a strip of your arousal through the material of your underwear. This time, another moan escaped you and it encouraged Yunho to push the piece of clothing to the side and taste your juices for real. The groan he let out against your folds had you shivering ang trying to close your legs around his head. But he was holding them with an iron grip, making it impossible for you to move. 

You threw your head back when he sucked on your clit for the first time, one of your hands flying to take a hold of his hair, keeping him just where he was. He ate you out just like he kissed you - hungrily, like a starved man, like it was his last meal. And you were loving it all, trying to keep down your noises because anyone walking by the classroom could hear you and decide to walk in, and you could get in trouble. But the thrill of getting caught was making everything feel so much better. 

“- Feeling good, angel ?

- Yes, so good, don’t stop please…”

The nickname had your legs trembling in no time, and the way he was lapping at your cunt had you close to the edge already. You could feel your pussy clenching around nothing as he sucked on your clit again, making more of your juices come out that he didn’t waste any time licking up. The force with which he was holding your thighs open made you wonder if he could use the same strength to put you in all the positions he wished, if he would use the same strength on you to make you unable to move and fuck you until you passed out. 

“- Yunho… I’m close…”

He hummed against you, doubling his efforts to bring you to the edge. He didn’t need to do much, because you had been waiting for this for too long, and because he felt too good to resist. As you felt your orgasm wash over you, your hand that wasn’t busy in his hair gripped the first things you could reach - one of the paper scattered on his desk, and you couldn’t even feel guilty about the way you crumpled it between your fingers, the rush of pleasure taking over you so strongly you couldn’t bring yourself to care about anything else. 

When you had regained enough consciousness for your legs to support your weight again, Yunho helped you come down off his desk, his hands not leaving your waist even when you were standing in front of him. You smiled when you saw how much you had messed up his hair, as they were going in every direction, and you tried to smother it a little. 

“- Let me see you this week-end if you are free. I want us to talk, and I want to take my time with you, make you understand everything you make me feel.”

And you agreed. Of course. But you started to regret it when you found yourself all alone, in the room of the hotel Yunho had sent you the address of. You were aware that you couldn’t just welcome him at your dorm, or go to his apartment either, because there were risks that someone would recognize you. So here you were, waiting for him. Despite what had happened earlier this week, it still felt incredibly wrong to be there, to do what you were about to do. You looked around the room, where nothing felt familiar and everything felt odd, as if you shouldn’t be here. You were almost ready to leave when the door opened and Yunho entered. 

He was dressed in a pair of black pants, some sneakers and a beige pullover. His casual outfit clashed with the slightly revealing white dress you were wearing underneath your trench. And you felt ridiculous for thinking that putting on something like this was appropriate, though nothing about this situation was appropriate. 

“- I’m sorry, I couldn’t find anywhere to park my car.”

Yunho’s voice broke down the heavy silence hanging in the air, but it didn’t dissipate the strange atmosphere. The room was filled with tension, with unspoken words, with something dangerous and forbidden, but so tempting. 

“- It’s okay, I haven’t been here for long.”

The moment was awkward, neither one of you knowing what to do with themselves. You couldn’t tell him that you were about to leave when he arrived. And he couldn't tell you that the real reason he was late was because he hesitated before coming. But all it took was one eye contact, one look a little too insistent at each other for your lips to find themselves once again, as if they knew better than yourselves what you wanted. And suddenly, nothing felt weird anymore, nothing felt wrong anymore, and everything was finally fitting perfectly - from the way he was holding your waist, to the way the skin of his neck felt under your fingertips. 

“- I missed you.”

The words he whispered against your lips made you feel everything you’ve been needing without knowing it. And you thought that maybe, this wasn’t such a big mistake. And when Yunho’s hands found their way underneath the skirt of your dress to caress the soft skin of your plush thighs, your brain disconnected, letting your emotions control you instead. You got rid of your trench, the material falling to the ground and soon joined by his jacket. You didn’t resist when he grabbed you by your waist to hold you flush against him and kiss you again, finally letting your hands slip under the hem of his pullover and touching his skin. Once again, the way he was kissing you left you dizzy, unable to think about anything other than him. 

“- This dress… 

- Do you like it ? Or is it too much ?

- Fuck, no, it’s…”

He took another look at the way the white tissue was hugging all your curves just right, underlining your silhouette and making you look like an angel. And the fact that you dressed up just for him made his hunger for you grow even more. So when he felt the urge to kiss you again, and again, and again, he gave into it, like he had wanted to for so much longer than he thought. 

“- It’s perfect, you’re beautiful.”

You wanted to compliment him right back, but he didn’t give you enough time to do so, mingling his tongue with yours instead. And you didn’t complain, because you couldn’t get enough of the taste of his lips, of the way his big hands were guiding you to sit on the bed, of the way he was looking at you. You watched closely as he got on his knees to get you rid of these thigh boots that were driving him crazy. Then, he helped you out of your dress, revealing your white lingerie set. 

You thought you would’ve been shy, or embarrassed to let him see you like this. But all you felt right now was desire, and confidence. You smiled when you saw him lick his lips while staring down at your body, and while he wasn’t paying attention, you started to unbuckle his belt. Yunho let you do what you wanted, obeying when you asked him to take off his pullover. When you managed to get rid of his pants, you finally allowed yourself to properly drool over him.

You looked up at him from your sitting position on the bed, while he was still standing in between your legs. It was like crossing his gaze at this precise moment made you realise how real all of this was, and you were hit with the fact that you were really going to fuck with your teacher. But you couldn’t find it in you to fight the feeling anymore. It was too late anyway, you couldn’t go back even if you wanted to. 

So you did nothing to stop him when Yunho pushed your shoulders so you would lay on the bed. You did nothing to stop him when he started to kiss your neck and covered the skin in his marks. You did nothing to stop him when his hands began to roam all around your body because he couldn’t choose only one spot to touch and focus on, because he needed all of you. 

“- I thought you wanted to talk.”

But with the way your fingers were threading through his hair as he massaged your breast over your bra, you definitely weren’t up to talk either. 

“- We’re gonna talk, but after I’ve fucked you.”

He punctuated his sentence by pushing your boobs out of your bra and leaning down to suck on your right nipple. And you couldn’t contradict him when all you were able to do was moan and ask for more. Yunho slowly made his way down to your panties, kissing every part of your exposed skin until he could remember every mole and imperfection of your body. And by the time he took off your underwear, you were already dripping wet and you couldn’t breathe properly anymore. 

“- Please Yunho, please don’t tease…

- Why’s that angel ? You need me that bad ?

- Yes, yes I need you, I want you.”

Finally hearing it from you and not from the dreams he was making did it for Yunho as he searched for a condom in his jacket’s pocket, while you were throwing away the last pieces of clothing separating your skin from his. And you couldn’t help admiring him and his tall frame, his sculpted back, the veins in his hands and arms, his abs slightly peaking out. Everything about him, every inch of him was perfect, made by the Gods. 

And you couldn’t tear your eyes away from his cock either, following his every movement as he got rid of his boxers and put the condom on. It was big, but just as pretty as him, and you already knew he would fill you up just right. When he was close enough to the bed again, you grabbed his hands, pulling him to lay on top of you and kissing him like it was the last time you could taste his lips. 

“- Please Yunho, fuck me…”

And he couldn’t do anything else than do it, sliding right in with how wet you were even if you could still feel the way his cock was stretching you out. But you couldn’t help the moan escaping you when he bottomed out, nor could Yunho stop himself from groaning at how tight you were clenching around him. 

“- Feeling so good around me angel, like you were made for me.”

You were ready to answer, but the force with which he thrusted inside of you stopped you from doing so, uttering a strangled noise instead that was quickly replaced by endless whines and moans as Yunho started to fuck into you. It was as if he knew exactly how to make you feel good, as if he already knew your body like the back of his hand. He found his way to your waist again, pinning your hips down to the mattress so he could do what he wanted, fuck you like he had been wanting to for far too long. 

You could feel your mind drifting far away as all the tension you accumulated these past weeks left your body, washed away by pleasure and desire, washed away by the way Yunho was looking down at you with hooded eyes, lips parted and letting out the most sinful sounds you’ve ever heard. But you needed to feel him even closer to you, impossibly closer to you. So you wrapped your arms around his neck, bringing him down against you. He reached for your legs, guiding you to bend them more until he could hit this sweet spot that made your head fall back with a cry of his name. 

“- I’m not gonna last long angel, been waiting for this for too long. 

- Me too, I’m close, please… 

- You sound so hot when you’re begging.”

You made sure to remember this piece of information before abandoning yourself to the feeling of his cock hitting all the right spots, and of his skilled fingers teasing your clit, the combination making you clench around him impossibly tight as the wave of your orgasm crashed over you. Your release triggered Yunho as he buried his face in your neck, groaning about how good you felt while filling up the condom with his cum. And the crazy thought of him filling you up instead crossed your mind, and it made the feeling of slight overstimulation even more intense. 

You were so out of it that you almost didn’t feel the moment when Yunho got up to throw away the condom. You had purposefully decided to not think about all the consequences that what you just did implied, you just wanted to enjoy this a little longer. So when he came to lay down with you again, you got closer to him immediately, like magnets who couldn’t resist the attraction. His fingers brushing against your cheek encouraged you to turn your head to the side, diving in his hypnotising brown eyes. You stayed like that for a moment, simply looking at each other without saying anything. And as if it was the only thing your bodies knew how to do, you joined your lips again. 

This time, it was slower, more sensual. If before you were devouring each other, now you took your time to savour the taste of his lips and tongue, to appreciate the way his hands were gliding on your skin, tracing invisible patterns on your lower back. It felt so much more intimate than what all this should have been, but it was too late, so you might as well fuck it all up completely. 

This time, Yunho didn’t rush anything, letting you decide on the pace. He let you do what you wanted when you got on top of him, let you deepen the kiss, he let you caress and discover his body. Your kisses wandered from the corner of his mouth to his jawline, going down to his neck, his collarbone, his pecks, his abs, his v-line, careful not to leave any marks on him. You could hide the single hickey he gave you, but you didn’t want to take any risk. When you reached his inner thighs, his hands had made their way to your head, his fingers tangling between the messy strands of your hair. You looked up at him, the desire pouring from your eyes making his heart beat faster. 

“- Can I ?

- Do whatever you want, angel.”

You smiled before you resumed your soft kisses along the skin of his thighs. But this time, you let them go up to his hardening dick. It was even prettier up close - and you’ve never thought you would say that about a dick one day, but you’ve never thought you would fuck with your teacher either. You kissed his length from the tip to the base, before running your tongue along the path you had traced. The action got a gasp out of Yunho, and you could feel him staring down at you as you kitten licked his flushed tip a few times. You wanted to take things slow, to remember this for as long as possible, but you were craving his taste, craving to feel him even more so you just took him into your mouth. He was big to say the least, and you could feel him, heavy on your tongue, stretching your throat as you started to bob your head up and down, stroking with your hands what you couldn’t fit in your mouth.

Yunho watched you intently, mouth slightly open and letting out sighs and grunts because you just felt that good. The sinful vision you offered was enough to make these weeks of mentally torturing himself totally worth it. Maybe he shouldn’t love the way you were making him feel, maybe he shouldn’t love the way you were whining around his shaft, maybe he shouldn’t love the way saliva was spilling out from the corners of your mouth. But he couldn’t care less when he gripped your hair harder and you moaned around his cock, eyes watering and nails digging into the skin of his thighs. 

“- Shit angel, you’re taking it so well. You’re so good to me.”

You hummed around him once more, resisting the urge to gag around him, relaxing your throat until you could take all of him in your mouth. You felt Yunho sit up straight, so he could get a better look at the way his cock was sliding in and out of your lips with ease. The sight was truly mesmerising, and he wanted to engrave it in his memory. 

“- I want to fuck your throat so bad, angel. Will you let me ?”

The pleased sound you let out after he grazed your scalp a few times let him know how willing you were to do just that. Yunho pulled on your hair roughly, forcing you to take all of him, until your nose was rubbing against his stomach and your hands were desperately pawing at his thighs. His thrusts were slow but hard, just what you wanted, just what you needed. 

“- You’re such a good girl Y/N, fuck, you’re going to make me cum. I can do it inside of your pretty mouth, right ?”

You agreed with strangled noises as best as you could with the way he was ruining your throat, but it was enough for Yunho to understand and a few seconds later, he buried himself as deep as he could one last time, cumming down your throat with a loud moan of your name. You did your best to shallow everything, some drops of the sticky substance spilling out. Yunho didn’t waste time picking them up with his fingers, sliding them between your lips instead of his cock, commanding for you to lick them clean, which you gladly did. When he finally let you breathe again, your throat was sore, but you were so wet you could feel your juices sliding down the inside of your thighs. 

“- Open your mouth for me angel, yes just like that. Good girl.”

Yunho grabbed you by your throat bringing your face closer to his and kissing you messily. He didn’t care that he just came into your mouth, he didn’t care that he could still feel his own taste on your tongue as you made out with him, on the contrary, it made everything so much more intense, so much better, so much more special. 

“- Was it good ?

- It was a perfect angel, you’re perfect.”

His hands slid down from your neck to your ass, guiding you to sit on his lap. His touch made you shiver, your back arching unconsciously. 

“- Want me to return the favour angel ?

- Yes please, I want your fingers…”

Yunho pushed you so you would lay down on the bed again, his fingers immediately dipping to your core, brushing lightly against your clit. His fingertips glided with ease against your slit, collecting your juices and spreading them everywhere. And you were hypnotised by the sight, thinking about how well his long fingers would fit perfectly inside of you, how they could reach your sweet spot so easily. 

“- You’re so wet, Y/N, you’re dripping on my hand.

- Please, Yunho…”

The way you were begging for him, the way you were calling his name, the way you were grabbing his biceps, trying to entice him in finally pushing his fingers inside of you - everything was driving him crazy, you were driving him crazy, and he was convinced that he didn’t want all of that to ever stop. His gaze was fixed on your face scrunching up with pleasure when he finally put one finger inside of your clenching pussy. 

“- Feels good ?

- Yes, so good.

- You want another one ?

- Please…”

Yunho bit his lip when he watched you take his second finger with ease, relishing in your sweet voice moaning at the way he was able to reach so deep without making any efforts. You were being so good, and he didn’t have to do anything for you to do so. You were pleading for him so easily, like it was natural, and that was making him feel even more dizzy with want and desire for you. He started to pump his fingers slowly, the squelching sounds from your wet cunt echoing through the room along with your whimpers for more. His other hand creeped up to your thigh, making sure to keep them open. Pleasure was clouding your mind, but your eyes were unable to leave the sight of the veins bulging in his forearms as he fingered you restlessly, thinking about all the ways he could control you, about all the positions he could put you in if he wanted to. 

And when it all started to feel too good, you plopped down against the pillows, not able to hold your own weight anymore from how his fingers were making you feel. Whenever he was curling them against that one spot, your brain turned to mush, and you could only whine and cry for more. You closed your eyes, already feeling close to your relief, but not wanting him to stop. 

“- Yunho… 

- What do you want, angel ?

- I-I want you to fuck me again, please…”

He didn’t let you have any time to think as he bent down to kiss you again, as a reward for being so good to him, so good for him, so perfect for him.

“- Cum on my fingers first, and I’ll fuck you as many time as you want, okay ?”

You nodded energetically, too turned on to think about anything else that wasn’t him. He let down your thigh to circle your clit, efficiently bringing you to your climax in seconds. Your nails dug into his biceps as the rush was taking over you, clenching around his fingers and moaning so loudly he was certain that the people in the room next to you could hear you scream his name. But he loved it, he was loving all of this a little too much. 

But Yunho didn’t ask himself more questions as he got up to find another condom in his pockets. He didn’t dare interrogate why it felt so good when he entered your pussy for the second time. He wasn’t even sure if he wanted to know why hearing you moan his name again and again made his heart beat faster. All he wanted right now was you, all he needed right now was you and your perfect body. 

This time, he wanted to feel you, to really feel you. So he purposely slowed down his thrusts, and even when you wrapped your legs around his waist, all he did was to suck another hickey in between your breasts. It was frustrating, but it also felt insanely good, the type of pleasure that made you unable to think, that made you go to another world because it just felt that good. You knew you were babbling incoherently, mewling for him to go faster, but you were already too far gone to care about how desperate you must look. 

In the heat of the moment, Yunho didn’t think twice before grabbing your wrists and pinning them down to the mattress, but you only whined and clenched around him tighter as an answer. And that made him lose control, his thrusts becoming more sloppy, without any rhythm, because you just felt that good. 

“- Yunho ! I’m gonn- Ah ! Oh my god…

- Cum for me angel, fuck, let me hear you.”

His words pushed you over the edge, the overstimulation from your two previous orgasm making this one feel even more intense and fulfilling. Your moans were high-pitched, but you couldn’t keep your voice down, you couldn’t bring yourself to care about anything else than Yunho, Yunho, Yunho. You could hear him groan as he pulled out, throwing the condom away to pump himself on top of you. He only needed a few seconds to cum on your chest, the white fluid soon covering them and even that felt good. 

You felt so out of your own body that you almost didn’t register when Yunho grabbed some tissues to clean your skin. But the ringtone of your phone was like a brutal reminder that this was only a little bubble that couldn’t last forever. You got up from the bed to answer your phone, Dajeong on the other line reminding you of a gathering with some of your friends that you had completely forgotten, too focused on Yunho and what you just did. As soon as you hung up, you started to put your clothes back on. The awkward silence from before was coming back, but you didn’t want to end it like that. You wished you could’ve stayed with him a little longer, but you had to be realistic : you weren’t his girlfriend and you’ll never be. But when he grabbed your arm and kissed you passionately while you were fully dressed up and he was only wearing his underwear, it felt exactly like that. 

“- Text me later, okay ? I still want us to talk.”

This was becoming too serious for you and you could feel your heart beating too fast for your liking when he cradled your face in his hands to force you to meet his eyes. 

“- So you want to see me again ?

- How could I not ?”

You simply smiled and kissed him again before you left. Your legs were still weak, and when you looked at your reflections in the mirror of the elevator, it was like what you did was written all over your face - in your smudged lipstick and your ruffled hair. But it felt too good, and you were already addicted. You knew it would not be easy to stop, but you preferred to pretend that it could last forever for now. 

You were afraid that everything would feel weird, that you wouldn’t even dare to look at him, or that maybe he would be the one putting an end to all of this. But he didn’t. And the way he was looking at you during his classes could only mean that he craved you just as much as you craved him. And stealing glances at each other was basically all you were able to do for the whole week, because you had a ton of assignments to work on, and because he had too much work. Both of you agreed through text that it was too risky to do anything on the campus, that nothing should happen again in his office. 

However, that didn’t stop your mind from coming back to when he ate you out on his desk, or to him fucking you, or to the way his cock was feeling so heavy on your tongue. And that didn’t stop Yunho from thinking back to your plush thighs clenching around his head, or to your taste, or the way you were screaming his name when he was hitting the right spot. Every night when you came back from your classes, you laid down on your bed, trying to make the aching in your core go away, but the only thing that could satisfy you was him, and you knew it. 

Your frustration reached its peak on Friday when Lola cancelled your night out because she had to work early the next morning. You knew it wasn’t her fault, that it was her colleague for calling in sick just so she could go see her boyfriend, but it still annoyed you, and it was the cherry on top. This whole week would have been stressing enough, but the fact that Yunho made eye contact with you whenever he could, and that he purposefully brushed his fingers against yours every time he handed you some documents added to your irritation. 

You didn’t think twice when you sent him a text, asking him to join you to the hotel because you needed him badly. You didn’t feel ashamed of how desperate and needy you were, because you were too horny to care about the fact that you shouldn’t miss him so much after only one week of not seeing each other. And maybe Yunho should have resisted more but he longed for you, he had wanted you all week and he couldn’t contain his desire anymore. 

This time, he didn’t even greet you when he entered the hotel room, going straight for your lips and taking control of the kiss, devouring your mouth as if you were his oxygen. Maybe you should've talked before doing this again, but lust was clouding his and your mind, none of you thinking about anything else than releasing the tension. 

Soon enough, the floor was covered in your clothes as Yunho manhandled you on your knees, ass up and face down in the pillows, two of his fingers already buried deep inside of you. If last time, he wanted to take his time, today he just needed to ruin you, to break you down, to see you cry for him. And that was exactly what you wanted him to do, what you needed him to do to you. Your brain had already been disconnected, the words coming out of your mouth against your will. 

“- Please Yunho fuck me, please wanna feel you raw, want you to fill me up, please…”

His fingers stilled inside of you for a few seconds, almost making you cry out at the loss of stimulation. What you were asking him to do was crazy, it was not safe, but the way his dick throbbed made all the thinking for him - he wanted that, he dreamt about that.

“- Are you sure about that angel ? 

- Yes, please ! I’m on the pill, I’ll take a plan B, but please I need you, please…”

It was still dangerous, it was still nonsense, but Yunho wasn’t thinking with his brain anymore, nothing logical was crossing his mind anymore. 

“- Fuck, you’re going to kill me Y/N.”

But he loved it, and he loved how tight you felt around him when he pushed his cock inside, loved how he could feel you even better like that, loved how pliant you were in his hold. He gripped your waist as he bottomed out, forcing you to stay still and all you could do was moan out his name like a prayer, because you could feel everything, because it felt even more intense like that, because his strength excited you. And Yunho didn’t hesitate when he started to pound into you, the feeling of your bare cunt around his dick making him delirious. You arched your back more, trying to fuck yourself against his cock because you always wanted more, you always craved more. 

“- You’re such a slut, angel. Fuck ! You’re letting me fuck you raw but you get shy when I look at you, uh ? You’re so fucking naughty.”

You adored it when he called you his good girl, but the way he was holding the back of your neck to keep your head buried in the pillow, and the way he was ruining you felt just as good. The adrenaline rushing in your veins had you getting closer to the edge so quickly, but you didn’t want him to stop. You were unable to say anything else than his name, choking on your words, mewling from the tip of his cock kissing your cervix. 

And Yunho wanted to talk dirty to you, to whisper all the things he knew you loved in your ears, but his mind was clouded with want, and he couldn’t think straight. All he wanted was to spill his load inside of you, do the things he imagined when he was alone, these things he forbade himself to think about. But now he could, and he never felt better than buried deep inside your tight cunt. 

“- Gonna cum inside of you, okay ? Gonna fill you up like the slut you are, angel.

- Please !”

The moan he let out when he stilled inside of you was so erotic you could’ve come only listening to his voice, but the feeling of his cum painting your insides white was what made it for you, your body growing limp in his hold. His grip on your neck and hips tightened, maybe enough to leave you with some marks but you didn’t care. Both of you had trouble coming down, but when you were finally able to, Yunho helped you lay down with him, your head resting on his chest as you were still trying to catch your breath. You felt his fingers brushing your hair away from your face and you looked up at him, your heart skipping a beat when your gaze crossed. 

“- I wasn’t too rough, right ?

- No, it was perfect, I loved it.”

You smiled at each other, and even if it felt too intimate, and even if it was what couples did and not whatever the two of you were, he leaned down to kiss your lips softly. 

“- I loved it too. I think I just want to keep spending a good time with you, I don't want things to get more complicated than they already are, if that’s okay with you. Let’s keep it as simple as possible, yeah ?

- Yeah, I’d like that.”

You were the one to kiss him this time, as if you wanted to seal your agreement, as if it was a silent promise. 

“- Where are we going ?

- It’s a surprise. You can choose the music if you want.”

You didn’t waste any time going through Yunho’s playlist, teasing him about some songs you didn’t think he would listen to and finally settling on a Lana del Ray song. It had been a week since you decided to just do what felt right and not think too much, and he had asked you if you were free to spend your Saturday with him. Of course, you said yes, but you didn’t think that he would pick you up in his car and drive you somewhere, thinking he just wanted to change from the hotel you were always meeting up and show you another place, but it felt like he was literally taking you on a date. 

You watched the landscape unfold through the car window, casually chatting with Yunho about how your week went, about what you ate yesterday, about which book you read lately. Sometimes, you thought that the age difference between the two of you would make things awkward, or that it would clash with your opinions. But it was the exact opposite. Your conversations felt natural, as if you had known each other for decades, as if eight years weren’t separating you. You were twenty-two, you were an adult and you could make your own choices, but sometimes, you were worried about the way he was perceiving you. 

“- Y/N ? We’re almost there.”

You looked down at your phone, seeing that it had in fact been over an hour since he had picked you up and you apparently fell asleep. You yawned as you checked your makeup and hairstyle in the mirror of the sun visor, glad to see that your little nap hadn’t messed up anything. When Yunho stopped the car, you were in a narrow street, where not many stores could be seen. You were about to get out when he asked you to wait, getting out himself and making his way over to the passenger door, opening it for you and offering you his hand to help you out. And smiled up at him as you got out of his car. 

“- You’re such a gentleman.

- For you ? Always.”

His cheeky smile made you giggle, but the fact that he didn’t let go of your hand as he walked you to one of the few shops on the street made your heart skip a beat. He did nastier things to you, said words that would have made anyone feel embarrassed, but for some reason, this small gesture dusted your cheeks in a pink tone that wasn’t due to your excessive use of blush. 

“- I really wanted to show you this place, I think you’re gonna love it.”

He held the door for you, a little bell ringing as you entered a cute, little bookshop. The smell of old pages invaded your nostrils as Yunho guided you through the shelves with a hand on the small of your back. You couldn’t help looking all around, stunned by how much books were in there, by how many you recognized the titles of. The atmosphere of the whole boutique was welcoming and warm, the sunlight reflecting through the coloured glass of the front window displaying moving shadows everywhere and adding to its charm. 

“- You like it ?”

You turned to him with a big smile on your face, almost ready to squeal with excitement. 

“- Of course I like it ! If I could spend my life there I would !

- No one’s stopping you angel.”

A big smile spread on his face as he kissed your forehead and let you wander around, eyes opening wide every time you saw a title you recognized. You were fitting perfectly in the setting with the black bow in your hair, your little brown skirt and your white turtleneck. Yunho was so lost in his contemplation that he almost didn’t hear the lady holding the shop coming out of the stocking room.

“- Yunho ! It’s been a while since I’ve seen you there !

- Yeah Mrs. McMillan, I’m sorry I’ve been quite busy.”

The old lady shook her head, her long, white hair flying around as she did so. 

“- I’ve already told you to call me Isabel, honey, I’m not that old ! And you brought a pretty girl along this time.”

Yunho turned back to you, watching you fondly as you piled up books in your arms, and soon enough the stack would be higher than you. 

“- Is that love I’m seeing in your eyes ?

- No, not at all, she’s only a friend.”

Putting that label on you made his heart ache, because he knew you were so much more than that, and Isabel seemed to know it as well because she looked at him with a gaze filled with disapproval as you came to the counter, still smiling. 

“- Y/N, this is Isabel McMillan, she has been selling books here since I’ve been alive. 

- Nice to meet you Mrs. McMillan ! I have to say that this shop might become my new favourite place, there’s so many things there, it’s incredible !”

Your excitement was contagious as a smile took over the old woman's features too, softening at having someone as passionate as you to compliment her. 

“- Don’t take on your friend’s bad habits, call me Isabel, sweetheart. I’m glad you’re enjoying my hard work. 

- I really do. If I could, I would buy half of these books but sadly I cannot.”

As Isabel noted down the title of the books you wanted to buy - because she didn’t want to use technology, saying it was too tiring to learn these things at her advanced age - Yunho couldn’t detach his eyes from you. 

“- Since you’re with Yunho, and because I’m starting to like you, young lady, I’m going to offer you a little reduction. It’s rare to see people being so dedicated to literature these days, it will not do any harm to my business to encourage you to come again.

- Thank you so much ! But I’m gonna tell you a secret : I would’ve come back, even without that.”

The old lady laughed out loud, along with you and Yunho joined the two of you, because your good mood was infectious. 

“- Do you still have the book I asked you to put away last time ?

- Of course, honey, I’m a woman of words.”

She crouched down behind the counter and came up with a book she handed him. 

“- I’ll pay for it, and all the ones Y/N is taking.

- What ? No, Yunho this is almost fifty euros, it’s too much.

- Can’t I spoil you ? It’s my pleasure angel, I wanna do this for you so let me, okay ?”

The nickname had you unable to hold eye contact with him much longer, and you folded, letting him pay for your books, with butterflies coming alive in your stomach as he held the door for you again on your way out. And Isabel watched all this happen, and she couldn’t help scolding Yunho in his head for being so blind about his own feelings, for being so blind to the way you were looking at him with heart eyes. But after all, it was none of her business. 

“- Put the books in my car, then we can go grab a coffee if you want. 

- I’d like that, yeah ! And thank you for the books, you didn’t have to. 

- Yes, but I wanted to. Stop worrying about that okay ?”

You nodded as you reached his car and you dropped the books on his back seat. But before you could close the door, he handed you the book he took for himself. 

“- This one is also for you. I saw it last time and thought that you might like it. Maybe you could read it while I’m reading one of yours, and when we’re done, we could hand it back with annotations and talk about it. What do you think ?”

When you looked up at him, he looked anxious, maybe because he thought that you wouldn’t like his idea. But you did, the simple fact that he thought about you when seeing this book made you feel dizzy. 

“- I think I love this idea. Wait a minute.”

You turned around, rummaging through all your new books in search of the one you saw and that you bought for the sole reason that it reminded you of him. 

“- I picked up this one thinking about you, actually, so you might read it as well.”

You handed him the book, and he took it gladly as you grabbed the one he picked up for you too. You finally closed the car door and you both headed downtown to find a coffee shop. The first time your hand brushed against his, you didn’t dare to take it. And the second time, he didn’t dare to do it. So the third time, you took a deep breath and intertwined your fingers with his, and he gave your hand a little squeeze, both of you wearing a bright smile on your faces. 

The coffee shop you found was surprisingly pretty empty considering it was a Saturday evening, but you were glad there were not that many people. When you approached the counter, you were ready to recite your favourite coffee order when Yunho took the lead and listed down your usual as if it was written in his mind. You couldn’t even listen to the rest of the things he said to the cashier, focused on why he knew that when you never told him. He must’ve noticed you blankly staring at him, because he turned to you with a little smirk. 

“- What ? You’re surprised I know this ?

- Yes, a little. How did you figure it out ?

- Well, you always come to my classes with the same thing, it was not difficult to notice.”

You rolled your eyes, mainly to hide how flustered the information made you feel. 

“- You’re so obsessed with me.”

As the cashier put your orders down on the counter and announced the price of your drinks, Yunho mouthed “Yes” to you as he paid again for the both of you without letting you enough time to even reach for your purse. And before you could even start to protest, he effectively shut you up by kissing your cheek and dragging you along with him to find an isolated table where you both sat down. As always, the conversation flooded naturally, and you were not thinking about anything displeasing - in this instant, you were truly happy. 

And Yunho was happy too. So when you proposed to play a card game, and that the winner could ask the loser a question about anything, he agreed, even if it was silly, it was okay because it was you. You asked him what his favourite colour was, why he wanted to become a teacher, what he would say to Oscar Wilde if he could talk to him. And he asked you which Austen novel was your favourite, why you wanted to study literature, what your biggest dream was. You were so immersed in your little game that the staff of the coffee shop had to ask you to leave because they were closing the place, and the sky was indeed darker as you got out to walk back to his car. 

He opened the door for you again, and as you watched him make his way to the driver seat, you couldn’t help asking yourself if that was really all he wanted from this afternoon. After all, even if you didn’t put a label on your relationship - if you could even call it that - you knew deep down that the main reason he was seeing you was sex. And if he didn’t plan on having sex with you now, does this mean that this meeting you didn’t dare call a date was only that ? But then, it took you down a rabbit hole of never ending questions that you didn’t want to dig into.

Sensing that your mood was a little down, Yunho didn’t dare to talk too much and disturb you, even if he didn’t understand why. You had a good time, you couldn’t stop smiling and you really seemed to enjoy hanging out with him. And the thought that you could be questioning yourself about your situationship made him a little nervous, though it shouldn’t because this was what it was - a situationship. And it didn’t matter if you made his heart beat faster everytime he saw you. And it didn’t matter if you made him feel alive for the first time in years. It didn’t matter because having more with you was simply impossible. When Yunho parked in front of your dorm, all the serotonin from this day had been washed away with the doubts filling him up.

“- Thank you for everything Yunho, I had a great time.”

But your smile seemed fake, it didn’t reach your eyes as it usually did. And Yunho felt his heart clench painfully. He didn’t want you to feel sad with him. Never. You were supposed to enjoy his company as much as he enjoyed yours. 

“- Are you really alright ? If I overstepped, tell me, please. I don’t want you to keep these things from me Y/N.”

You sighed as you turned your gaze away from him, but his hands on either side of your face forced you to look him in the eyes again. Why did he have to be so perfect all the time ? It would’ve made things so much easier if he didn’t care about you.

“- You did nothing wrong, I’m just thinking too much. 

- About what ?

- I just think we should be more careful if we start going out like that because someone could recognize us. And you could lose your job, or I could get kicked out. I’m probably just being paranoid but…”

That was not the problem, but you didn’t want to talk about the real reason you were feeling so melancholic. Because it would probably ruin everything, and you needed him too much for your own good, you needed him too much to risk losing him.

“- You’re not being crazy, okay ? I understand, and if you’re afraid we might meet someone we know, we can go somewhere else next time, anywhere you wanna go, i’ll take you. How does that sound ? 

- Good. It sounds good.

- Then we’ll be doing that.” 

You nodded, and even if you still felt a little bad, one look from him was enough to make you feel better, to make your worries all go away. So even if your heart was screaming for you not to, you let him kiss your forehead, and then your lips, so softly it made you weak in the knees. But it felt too good to ask him to stop. So you didn’t, and you just kissed him back until you were out of breath. 

“- I’m gonna go, I have to work on your assignment because fucking the teacher won’t get me a free pass, right ?

- That’s the spirit angel, I’m always expecting the best from you.

- Then I have to start now. Be careful on the road, Yu.”

He nodded and watched you get out of his car, not leaving until he saw you get inside the building of your dorm. And then only did he authorise himself to let out a sigh. Because you were too sweet to be true, because you gave him a little nickname that had him feeling much more things than he shouldn’t, because your scent was still lingering everywhere and it was driving him crazy. You were driving him crazy, to be honest. 

And it was bad, really bad. Yunho didn't mean for things to go this far, but he felt like he couldn’t stop now. And if he was honest with himself, he didn’t want to stop now that he had a taste of you. However, it still felt incredibly wrong to go home to his girlfriend when he had spent the day with you and that he didn’t think about her only once. The smell of home cooked food hit him as soon as he stepped inside, and the weight on his shoulders even more heavy as he announced that he was home. 

“- You’re coming back late, baby ! But that’s okay, at least everything is ready for dinner, I made your favourite !”

Guiltiness was creeping up inside of him with every word she said, and everything sounded so fake when he served her his lie about having an important meeting with his colleagues. She didn’t deserve this, she didn’t do anything for him to stop loving her. On the contrary, Hana was always sweet and caring, she was there for him and had been for years. But maybe it was the problem. Maybe it has been too long.  But Yunho perfectly knew the real reason, it was just too painful to admit it, and it would make things too real. 

For a while, he preferred to ignore the fact that you were making the flames come alive again in his heart. He preferred to ignore how much stronger his feelings for you were than for his girlfriend he was supposed to love and cherish and marry soon. But was it really a crime when everything she was doing, everything they were doing seemed faked, forced, done out of habit rather than because of true love and affection ? Yunho knew that he was already in too deep with you to stop, and the way Hana was not paying attention to what he was saying was making him feel a little less remorseful about the way he was only seeing your face when she was kissing him good night. 

Work and classes have been hectic for the both of you these past weeks, so Yunho’s proposal of a getaway trip to the beach this weekend felt like a bubble of oxygen. Sure, you had seen each other, but for never more than a quickie. Sure, you didn’t stop sending each other texts and photos to keep up with your days, but you wanted to hear him calling you angel again. And even if it was supposed to be only that, even if you shouldn’t want that, you still missed spending time with him, talking with him. So you held on to the promise of this little break with him to finally breathe and relax.

When you finally spotted his car parked a few streets away from your dorm, and his tall frame leaning against the drivers’ door, the wind blowing his perfectly styled hair, your heart started to beat faster. The rush you got everytime you laid your eyes on him never flattered. And you didn’t really think about it when you ran to him and threw yourself in his arms. You could hear him chuckling as he buried his face into your neck, holding you closer to him and spinning you around. Both of you needed this hug, and Yunho couldn’t ever get tired of your addicting scent, breathing you in for a moment before he cradled your face into his hands to kiss you like he had wanted to these past few days.

“- I missed you, angel. 

- We literally saw each other yesterday.

- But not like that.”

This comment was enough to make heat rise into your body again. But you simply slapped his chest playfully as he giggled like an idiot. But he didn’t mind your teasing, it was entertaining. Like the gentlemen he always was, Yunho opened the door of the car for you. Every time he drove you somewhere, you felt like a passenger princess - getting to choose the music, opening the windows whenever you wanted, holding his hand when he didn’t need it. The weather was starting to warm up a little, and you smiled as you felt the pleasant air hit your face, making your hair fly in every direction. 

And yes, Yunho felt a little guilty for cancelling plans he had with his girlfriend to take you to the beach, but he needed it. He needed to escape from his life and his routine for just one day, but more importantly, he needed you. He didn’t want to spend his weekend with her family, he wanted to spend it with you. And as he watched you run towards the water, squealing as the cold liquid touched your bare feets, he felt like it was worth it. Your long skirt was floating around you to the rhythm of the wind, and to him, you’ve never looked more beautiful than right now - with your hair all messy, and the brightest smile he’s ever seen on your face directed at him, asking him to come with you. 

There were only a few other people on the beach, allowing you to be as affectionate as you wished. The picnic both of you had prepared was spent between sweet kisses and mindless conversation. And then, Yunho laid down to rest his head on your lap while you read another book he had given to you. You mindlessly started to run your hands through his hair, smiling lightly when he released a satisfied sigh, relaxing even more. And Yunho swore he could’ve fallen asleep just like that - with the sun warming up his body and your presence warming up his heart. 

“- It’s been so long since I’ve last gone to the beach…”

Your self-reflection steered Yunho out of his slumber, looking up at you to find you entirely focused on the landscape in front of your eyes. Suddenly, your tone was a lot more nostalgic, and he couldn’t help his curiosity. Because yes, he knew your body like the back of his hands by now, and he knew what you were liken but he knew so little about your past, about you - the you he was starting to fall in love with. 

“- But you grew up close to the ocean, right ?

- Yeah. We used to go every weekend, it was always the best day of the week and I was so excited to go every time. But when my parents started to fight, we stopped going. Apparently, it reminded them of too many memories and they had no time to do that anymore. I tried to go alone once. I was maybe eight ? I don’t remember well, but I know that I got scolded so badly I’ve never tried it again, even as a teenager. And I kinda had an apprehension to go see the ocean again. 

- I didn’t know that. I’m sorry for proposing that, we can leave whenever you want if you don’t feel comfortable, angel.”

Your eyes finally came back to him, smiling softly at him as you pushed a strand of his hair away from his forehead, your touch making goosebumps come alive on his skin. 

“- It’s okay, I’m over all that now. And when I think back about it, these trips were never perfect. My parents were already fighting back then, I was just too young to understand what it meant. But today I’m here with you, so I knew it would be nothing like that. You make everything better, Yu.”

You leaned forward, pecking his lips for a second or two, but it was enough to make Yunho smile again. He had no idea your childhood could’ve been so chaotic, and from what you told him, he could easily imagine the classic scheme through which you went. And it made sense with the women you were today - strong, independent and determined. But he also learned that you needed him to baby you sometimes, and he was always willing to let you fall into his open arms every time you needed to. And the fact that you were slowly opening up more and more to him everyday felt like a reward. 

“- What was your childhood like ?

- Well, I have a pretty conservative and religious family, and I’ve always felt like I’ve never belonged with them. My parents love me, I know they do, but it’s like I don’t fit in with them, you know ? It’s a strange feeling, but I’ve always been the rebel one : I didn’t do the studies my parents wanted me to do, and I didn’t follow every one of their rules as I grew up, and I’ve never had the same faith as them. I think that’s what disturbed them the most. 

- The feeling of being a disappointment, and of going against the flow is never easy to deal with, especially as a kid. But look where you are now. They should be proud of you for doing a job you love. At least, I’m proud of you.”

This time, Yunho made the first move to kiss you. 

“You’re really an angel, too good to be true.

- I could say the same about you.” 

Because he simply had that aura that made you feel safe, that made you feel comfortable, that made you feel at home. Every time you looked into his eyes, it was as if nothing else existed, as if he was the only thing that was real. But you didn’t want to think about it, didn’t want to dwell on what it meant, didn’t want to think about the fact that this won’t last forever. Instead, you kept on talking, telling each other some childhood memories. And it all felt so peaceful, like you were all alone, like it was both of you against the rest of the world, like you were in a little bubble that could never burst. 

And Yunho really wished he could stay like that with you forever, but the sun was starting to go down and the wind was turning colder. You could’ve fallen asleep on the ride home, lulled by the way he was quietly humming to the songs of the playlist you choose. This day made you forget about everything else, made the stress go away, made all your worries disappear. But you knew it was not only because you got away, but mostly because Yunho was with you. He always had that effect on you, no matter how hard you tried to resist it. You didn’t want this day to end, you didn’t want this feeling to ever go away. So as he parked near your dorm, you kissed his lips one more time.

“- Do you want to come up ? My roommate is not here. 

- What about being careful, angel ? Anyone could recognize me here. 

- It’s Sunday, everyone is either locked up in their rooms working or spending the day out. No one will see you. Please ?”

The fact that you started to kiss down his neck as well as your pleading eyes were close to breaking Yunho’s resolve. He knew he shouldn’t let you have this much of an effect on him, but you had that effect and he couldn’t deny the way he weakly said “yes” and let you drag him to your dorm room. But the way you were giggling against his lips as you pushed him to sit down on your bed made him forget all about his doubts. As you dropped to your knees on the ground, settling between his legs, Yunho couldn’t help the shaky breath that escaped him. 

“- I think I have to pay you back for today, don’t I ?”

The smirk playing on your lips as you unbuckled his belt and helped him get out of his pants did nothing to calm his heartbeat down. And the way you were always so eager to take care of him, to have your mouth on him, did nothing to help either. But it felt too good, so he didn’t stop you and let you kiss his tip one time before you started to kitten-lick his cock. 

“- Fuck, don’t tease, angel. 

- But you look so pretty like that.”

Your pouty lips made him want to spoil you but also to be a little mean. But you were such a good girl for him, taking all of him in your mouth. Everytime you were getting down on your knees for him, Yunho couldn’t help the rush of adrenaline going through his veins.  He threw his head back when he felt your cheeks hollowing, sucking him in deeper. He wanted to stay like that forever, with you drooling around his cock, and his hands buried in your hair. But he needed to have his mouth on you too, to make you feel good. So he took advantage of your size difference to throw you on the bed with ease, pushing up your long skirt so he could dip his head under the material and lick a strip of your wet cunt through your panties. 

“- Yunho… Please, don’t tease.

- But you look so pretty like that.”

You smiled as you lightly slapped his shoulder, eliciting a few chuckles from him before he helped you get out of your underwear and finally got a taste of your cunt. You could only see the top of his head, but the way he was subtly nibbling on your clit had you closing your eyes to appreciate the moment even more. His tongue lapping at your cunt was sending you to places you’ve never been, and you couldn’t care less about the other people at the dorm who might hear you whining his name loudly. This day was so perfect, Yunho was so perfect. You couldn’t ask for more. Or you could, but you would be pushing your luck, and you didn’t want anything else if it meant you could be with him in some way. But you didn’t want to think about all that right now, so you pushed his head further in between your thighs. 

“- Don’t stop, please…”

Yunho groaned against your folds, doubling his efforts to bring you to the edge, practically making out with your pussy at this point. But you didn’t mind, not at all. You wanted him, wanted every little part of his body and soul to be yours. As you felt your orgasm approaching, you started to grind against his face, moaning at the way his nose was bumping against your clit every time you rocked your hips. And when you came with a cry of pleasure, Yunho made sure to hold your thighs open for him to eat you until he had gulped down the last drop of your juices. 

“- How do you taste better every time ? I’ll never get tired of it.

- Good. Because I don't want you to stop.” 

Both of you were still half clothed, but you didn’t mind it as Yunho came up to kiss your lips, his tongue finding yours easily and his hands grabbing your breast over your top like a second nature. Everything felt so familiar, so right, like you were where you should be. Your lips were sealed to his, from the moment he pulled out his condom to the moment his cock entered you, only separating for a brief instant when you moaned in harmony. 

And no words where needed as he made love to you. Because there was no other way to define how he was fucking you, to define the tenderness of his touch, the fondness of his gaze, the softness of his breath hitting your skin. Every sound he elicited from you was immediately drowned in his mouth, your hands tugging at the material of his shirt as you felt close to the edge again. You felt full of so many emotions you couldn’t even name them all, but you knew that Yunho was the only reason you were feeling all that. 

“- I’m close…

- Me too, angel…”

The words you’ve been meaning to say for some time almost slipped past your lips as you felt the rush of pleasure course through your body. And if Yunho hadn’t nuzzled his head into your neck, he would’ve probably been about to say them too. As you came down of your little paradise where nothing existed except for him, you realised how close you’ve been to fuck it all up. And you didn’t want that - you were going to take everything you could have from this relationship, and no matter the state you would end up in, it would be worth it because it was him. 

“- Hey ! Watch where you’re going Y/N !”

Dajeong kept you from walking straight into the door that opened just in front of your face. You sheepishly thanked her, and tried to not get lost in your thoughts again.

“- You seem absent since yesterday. Did something happen this weekend ?”

You knew exactly why you were so absorbed, you knew it. But you couldn’t say it, you couldn’t talk about it with her. It would mean putting Yunho in a dangerous situation, and yourself too. And what would she think of you ? You were always the first one to comment on how stupid all the girls crushing on your teacher were, and now you were the one who ended up in his bed every time he needed you.

“- It’s nothing, I just… Don’t know what to do about something and I’m thinking about it a little too much.”

Your eyes travelled from your friend by your side to Yunho’s silhouette. He was standing near the door of his office, having a lively conversation with a woman you’ve never seen before but you supposed that she was one of his colleagues. You had no right to be jealous. And you weren’t. Not really, at least. You were not jealous about seeing him with someone else, you were mentally prepared for that to happen. But you were jealous of how good she looked beside him, thinking about how ridiculous you must be whenever you were going out with him. Your age difference was visible, and everything felt much more right when he was with someone his age. But you quickly averted your gaze from them, not seeing the pained look on Yunho’s face as he turned his head your way. 

“- You wanna talk about it tonight ? 

- I don’t know, it’s complicated.”

Dajeong smiled at you and grabbed you by your arm, trying to cheer you up a little. She didn’t like to see you down - you were always so energetic and joyful, it felt odd whenever you were like that. 

“- No matter what you decide, I’m here. And I’m keeping you home for a movie night anyway.

- I'd like that a lot. Thank you.

- I told you, I’m here for you.”

You thanked her again and tried not to think about Yunho for the rest of the day. You weren’t even mad at him, except the fact that you had no right feeling like that, it was mostly because you realised that you really couldn’t be with him for more than what you already were. And it hurt more than you think it would have, because even if you tried to stop yourself from daydreaming about a future with him, you still did, and you had started to believe that it could happen, that it could be true. But you had to be sensible and remind yourself that it was impossible, that even if there was the slightest chance that he loved you, he could never do it in the open, and you were not ready to stay a secret your whole life. But you still went to his office after your classes because he had asked you to. When you entered the room, Yunho was waiting for you, anxiously chewing on his nails. He gestured for you to close the door behind you and when you made sure it was locked, you took his hands in yours, confusion lingering in your eyes. 

“- What is it Yu ? Are you alright ?

- I should be the one asking you that.

- Why ?

- Because of what you saw this morning. It’s not what you think, I swear there’s nothing between us, she’s just another teacher I’m working with. I’m not doing any-

- Stop.”

And he did it, mouth closing shut as you tried to not let all the doubts and the melancholy that invaded you today be perceived in your voice or your touch. You stood on your tippy toes to kiss his lips softly, hoping that it would calm him down a little. 

“- I didn’t think anything about it, okay ? I’m not mad, or sad, or anything else. And you can do absolutely what you want, you know, it’s not like I’m your girlfriend or anything. I don’t have a word to say about your relationships.”

The words hurt you, but they hurt him too. He knew you weren’t his girlfriend, he made that clear enough so you understood that nothing like that could ever happen. But it still felt wrong to hear you say that, he still felt bad at seeing the slight discomfort in your eyes. However, you didn’t let him reflect on that too much as you let go of his hands. 

“- Don’t worry about that, okay ? I have to go, I have plans with Dajeong for tonight but text me if you need anything.

- Yeah, have a good night angel.”

You smiled at him before leaving and Yunho’s heart clenched when he saw you go out one more time. Every night you spent together, you had always left before him, and every time, he wished you could stay a little more. And every time, he prayed that it would not be the last time he was going to see you. Even if everything about this was wrong, he didn’t want it to end, and for once, he wanted to be selfish. He wanted to think about himself, to put his happiness first and not everyone else’s opinions. 

That’s why when you told him you had a really bad day, a few weeks after this incident, he decided to think about what made him happier lately and put you first. So he picked you up after class, without telling you where you were going, but it had become a habit of his to never reveal the destination of your little adventures. The ride was silent, the music being the only sound disturbing the quiet atmosphere, but as soon as Yunho parked on the hill that overlooked the whole city so you could see the sunset, you bursted into tears. Yunho pulled you into his lap, running his hands through your hair to calm you down, and encouraging you to talk to him. 

“- Tell me what’s going on, angel. 

- I’m just… Everything I do, it’s never enough. There’s always someone who’s doing it better, there’s always someone to remind me that I’m enough. I’m never enough, for anything or anyone.”

Seeing you like that broke his heart, but Yunho didn’t let his own emotions overpower him. He cradled your face in his hands, whipping your tears away tenderly. 

“- You are enough Y/N, you’ve always been enough and the way you’re feeling right now does not reflect what you really are. You’re doing so much all the time, and for everyone. I promise you are enough, angel. And I’m proud of the person you are, I’m proud of you.”

You nuzzled your head in his chest, a little more serene than five minutes before, his scent soothing your heart and your mind, and his touch so soft and delicate you could’ve fallen asleep in his arms. You stayed like that for a moment, not needing to say anything else as his presence was enough to get you to relax, and you couldn’t say if you spent ten minutes or an hour like that, but you felt so peaceful you didn’t want to move. Whenever you were with him, it was like a little bubble engulfed the two of you, and that nothing else existed beside him and everything he was making you feel. 

“-  Thank you, Yu.”

And you pecked his lips to reinforce that idea. And Yunho pushed away a strand of your hair before he kissed you too, deepening it when you whimpered against his mouth and wrapped your arms around his neck to keep him closer to you. And you stayed there, simply making out and quietly talking about nothing and everything. But it was enough to calm you down. And it was enough for Yunho to be sure about what he wanted to do. But not now. Not when you were so vulnerable he felt like you could break in his arms. 

“- Can you take me home ? I’m tired.

- Of course, angel. I just need to stop by the gas station.”

You nodded and kissed him one last time before getting back in your seat. Your mood was much better on the way back, casually chatting with Yunho as he drove you home with his hand comfortably resting on your thigh. You mindlessly played with his fingers, not really paying attention to the road. You only registered the notifications noises from his phone when he was out and paying for his gas. You glanced at his illuminated screen, not really wanting to know who was texting him but just out of habit, and the nickname of the person texting him was all you needed to know. “My girl 💕” was enough to understand that you weren’t the only one, that he wasn’t as invested in this relationship as you. You were aware of all these things, but to be hit by the realisation, to be faced with the truth was harsh. When he sat back down in his seat, you had to brace yourself so the tears wouldn’t spill from your eyes, so the words you were about to scream at his face wouldn’t slip out from your mouth. 

“- Are you alright, angel ?

-  Hum, yeah, I just wanna go home and sleep. Don't worry.”

You offered him a little smile and he caressed your cheek, but you had to mentally restrain yourself from pushing his hand away. You let him drive you home, forcing yourself to smile and seem normal and composed. Only when you were snuggled underneath your blankets did you allow yourself to let the tears fall freely from your eyes. You were expecting this to stop at some point, but not like that. You were trusting him, you thought he was telling you the truth, you thought that what would separate you would only be the fact that it was impossible, but not that. 

It was so unlike him, always so kind and gentle, always thinking about you and your comfort first. That was surely why you never thought he would do something like that. But after all, you should've seen it coming. This was truly too good to be true, too perfect to last. But you would've wanted it to last for a little longer, for forever. And coming back to reality was hard, it was like waking up from a dream to realise you were only living in a nightmare all this time. That night, you fell asleep with his scent still lingering on your clothes, and dried tears covering your cheeks. 

The next morning, you weren’t doing any better, if not worse. The truth was sinking in, and you were not strong enough to answer his texts yet, leaving him on read and purposely ignoring his demand to see you today. You got up from your bed either way, only because you needed to eat to compensate for your empty heart, and that what Dajeong must have cooked smelled really good. 

“- Wow ! You look like a zombie. A cute zombie, but still a zombie.”

You smiled a little, but it didn’t reach your eyes. You sat down on the stool of the kitchen, watching your roommate finishing up your meal, mind clouded with thoughts of him even if he was the last thing you wanted to think about. 

“- On a serious note, are you alright ?”

The casual question made you tear up again, and you had to take a deep breath so you would not cry again. Dajeong turned off the stove and came to sit down beside you, one hand resting on your shoulder as she encouraged you to talk to her. And you did. You told her everything about what had been going on between Yunho and you for months. It felt like it all started yesterday, like it was only a dream. But with the way it was about to end, you rather have not started this at all. 

“- I would’ve never thought that you would be the type to go out with our teacher. 

- I know. There’s just something about him that I can’t get enough of. I… I think I love him.”

It was the first time you dared to say the words. But it was true. You loved him even if you tried to resist it, even if you tried not to succumb to the temptation he was. But you gave in, and you were happy for as long as it lasted. You knew it would hurt, but you didn’t think it would hurt that much. You underestimated how important he became, how much you relied on him for everything. 

“- And it’s not even the fact that he has a girlfriend or someone else that makes me mad, I was okay with that because I had come to terms with the fact that I will never be more than what we were. But he treated me like I was more, he made me think that he cared about me just to pull out something like that. And I had to find out, he didn’t even have the balls to tell me himself. 

-  He’s a coward, I must admit. And he clearly doesn’t deserve you. He could have never loved you like you need to be loved, you’ll always be a secret with him. It’s better like that. 

- Maybe. But it hurts.”

Some tears escaped your eyes again, and Dajeong didn’t hesitate before pulling you into a tight hug, caressing your head as a way to calm you down. She knew how much a heartbreak could hurt, especially when it ended up like that, especially when it was as intense as what you had. 

“- I know, lovely. It’s gonna take time, but it’s gonna stop hurting eventually. But I think you should talk with him, ask him clearly what’s going on before completely cutting him out of your life. You need closure, you at least deserve that.”

You nodded as Dajeong proposed that you spent the day together, doing some skincare and talking again and again about the same people for the hundredth time while watching some silly movies to cheer you up. And you did exactly that, trying to not think about him for at least one day. You were anxious to go back to class on Monday, fearing that everything would be awkward, or that he would completely ignore you. Somehow, you found the courage to send him a text throughout the weekend, simply to tell him that you needed some space, some time to think about you and him. You didn’t see the point of lying to him, and you silenced his notifications just after. You were strong enough to answer him, but not to witness him pretend and care about you.

Your resolve started to crumble when you saw how miserable he looked the next few days in class. His eye bags were terrible, and he seemed to have lost all his energy. Usually, Yunho would animate all his classes and passionately teach you his subject, but lately, he was only giving you some group work to do, keeping his interventions to a minimum. He spent his time sitting at his desk, either trying to grade some papers or zoning out, looking through the windows. Everytime his sad eyes fell into yours, your heart clenched and ached. But you didn’t have the strength to confront him about what you saw on his phone. You wanted to talk to him, you wanted him to deny, to tell you it was not what you were thinking and that you were the only one - even if you knew it was impossible and that dreaming about it made everything hurt ten times more badly. 

You missed him. You missed hearing his voice, his laugh. You missed his smile, and the dimple he had when you made a terrible joke he couldn’t help giggling at. You missed his touch, the way every time his skin was against yours everything else disappeared. You missed being in his arms, and the sentiment of security it gave you. You simply missed him, and having to see him everyday without being able to look at him for more than a few seconds was a torture. And even if you had unblocked him because you were weak, you continued to ignore every one of his texts and calls either way. It was painful, but a lot less than if he told you face to face that he had someone else, that he lied to you, that he made you fall head over heels for you before fucking it all up, before crushing your heart in between his fingers. 

One day, when you came back to your dorm, you found flowers waiting for you by the door. There was no card with it, but Yunho was the only one who knew that lilies were your favourite flowers. And you cried again when you opened the trash can only to find yourself unable to throw the bouquet away. So you kept it, putting it in a vase and placing it on the kitchen’s counter, seeing him every time you looked at the flowers. 

Another day, when you handed him back an assignment and that your hand brushed against his, it was like time stopped for a moment. Your breath was knocked out of your lungs as you looked up at him, and the plethora of emotions you caught dancing in Yunho’s eyes was enough to bring you back to when he was calling you angel, to when he was treating you like the most beautiful girl in the world. You ran away as quickly as possible, because you were on the verge of telling him that you loved him, and that it would only make things even more complicated than they already were. You felt so stupid for falling for your teacher, but you felt even more ridiculous for believing that you could be more than a side piece to him. 

However, that didn’t stop you from looking at the texts he sent to you, asking you to come meet him in his office because he wanted to explain everything properly. You heard Dajeong words ringing in your head as you took a deep breath and entered the room you had grown familiar with. His scent surrounded you immediately, and Yunho jumped upon your arrival. His glasses were sitting on the bridge of his nose, and his hair were completely dishevelled. You still managed to be smitten by his ethereal beauty. But the way he was looking at you with such desperation forced you to avoid his gaze quickly. 

“- Y/N…”

His voice broke down, and your heart broke too, a little more every time he tried to start a sentence. Yunho wanted to forget everything, to hold you in his arms and promise you the world. But he couldn’t, and the way you were hugging yourself made him want to get down on his knees and beg for your forgiveness. In all honesty, he would do it in the blink of an eye if you asked him, he would do anything if it meant you would forgive him. But it was nearly impossible, and he was well aware of that, but you deserved an explanation - that and so much more. 

“- What did you want to tell me ?”

Your tone was harsher than you wanted it to be, and you didn’t dare look his way, and Yunho didn’t dare make a step in your direction, afraid that you would run away again. But he had to tell you the truth, he had to be honest for once. 

“- It’s not what you think, angel.

- Please, spare me with that, I’m not blind, nor an idiot.

- No, you’re not… And that’s why you deserve to know what is going on. The message you saw the other night was from… My girlfriend.”

You knew it, but to hear him say it was different. It hit exactly the right spot to reopen some wounds that had never healed. You already felt on the verge of tears, but you tried to keep them under control, gripping the handles of your tote bag to ground yourself in reality and brace yourself for what was coming. 

“- But I don’t love her anymore, it's been a long time since I’ve stopped feeling anything for her. We met when we were in highschool, and we were a good match at that time. She was my friend before becoming more, but after all this time, there's nothing left of what I felt for her in the beginning. We were only kids, I didn’t even know what I wanted to do with my life and my family had already planned my future with her. They want me to marry her. But I don’t, not at all. But if I leave her, I know that they will never want to see me again. So I stayed with her but you made me realise what it was to live and be happy again, and that I don’t want to marry someone I don't genuinely love.”

While he was talking, Yunho took some steps in your direction, trying to maintain eye contact with you even if all he wanted was to slap himself in the face for how stupid he had been to think he could handle this the way he did it, to think that you would never discover his secret. At least, you were here. At least, you were listening to him. It should mean something. It should mean that everything wasn’t over yet, right ? Yunho held on to that, but when he tried to reach for your hand and you took a step back, your eyes glistening with tears, it was hard to believe that everything could be alright. And to know that he was the reason you were crying made him feel even more guilty.

“- I’m so fucking sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, angel. I wanted to do it a million times, but I was so afraid of losing what we had, I didn’t want to freak you out. And I couldn’t lose you. You are my oxygen, my breath of fresh air in the middle of all this mess, and I need you. I promise I wanted to tell you everything the night you discovered it. But you became so quiet all of sudden, and when I looked at my phone, I assumed you had seen her text. But I swear on my life, I wanted to tell you. I should’ve never lied to you in the first place, I know that, and you can’t imagine how sorry I am.”

You were now sobbing uncontrollably, trying to cover up your voice with your hand, but the hot tears falling down your cheeks were enough proof of how affected you were. Yunho wanted to cradle you in his arms, to protect you from the world like he always did, but he couldn’t shield you from himself and his mistakes. He was supposed to be your safe place, your comfort zone, not to make you feel like that.

“- Do you understand how bad I felt when I saw this message, Yunho ? I… I knew this wouldn’t last, but to realise that you lied to me all this time was even more painful. You made me believe that we had a future together, and you treated me like your girlfriend even when I was not, even when you had someone waiting for you at home. And it hurts.”

Your voice broke down on the last words. You felt pathetic, some kind of silly, naive girl who couldn’t see what was right in front of her eyes, some kind of idiot who thought that it could end well, that it could end without you suffering too much. 

“- I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. And I’ll spend the rest of my life apologising if that’s what you want. We can have a future together, I want a future with you.

- I can’t see it. I-I can’t ask you to leave her, and to turn your back on your whole family for me. ”

One tear rolled down Yunho’s cheek, and you wanted to wipe it away, but he did it himself before you could do anything. It was better like that. If you felt his skin against yours again, you didn’t know if you would be able to finish what you started. 

“- I could do it. If it’s what it takes to keep you with me I’ll do it. I’ll do anything. I love you, Y/N. I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone else. I love you so bad it makes my heart ache. I’m ready to do everything it takes to be with you. Everything.”

You should’ve been happy to hear these words you were longing for him to say, only weeks prior. But right now, it only broke your heart more, it only pushed the knife a little deeper into your open wounds. 

“- That’s not what I want for you, you deserve better. I don’t want to fuck up your whole life, even if it meant I could love you.

- But you are my whole life, you’re the only thing I need.”

You wanted to believe him. You wanted to say yes so bad. You wanted to fall back into his touch, to fall back into his arms. But you couldn’t. Still, you let him caress your cheek, swiping his thumb against it to get rid of the tears that had dropped there. It was like you could finally breathe, as if the weight on your heart and the knot in your throat had disappeared only because he touched you. He always had that effect on you. But you had to leave, you had to leave or you would cave in and you knew it wasn’t good for you. So you took his hand in yours, pushing it away slowly, as if not to scare him away. You looked up into his teary, brown eyes. It broke your heart to see him in such a state, but you had to think about yourself too. You had to take care of yourself now that he wasn’t here to do that anymore. 

“- I’m sorry, I need some time to think. I’m… Not sure I can love you like this anymore. I’m sorry.”

He tried to smile at you, but it was joyless, without this little sparkle in his eyes that you loved so much. 

“- You don’t have to apologise, angel. You did nothing wrong, I’m the one who fucked up. I’m the only one to blame here. Take all the time you need, I’ll wait for you.”

You nodded, and you finally let go of his hand, painfully slow to feel his touch for as long as possible. You took a last look at him before turning away and unlocking the door of his office. 

“- Goodbye, Yunho.”

It felt like you were saying farewell, and Yunho wanted to run after you, to beg you to let him still be a part of your life. But he had to respect your choice. So he stayed still, standing there as if it could freeze time in place and give him the ability to come back in time and do things differently. But it was too late, and the only thing he could do was give you space and hope you would grant him a second chance, and hope you would be kind enough to forgive him even if he didn’t deserve it at all. 

You thought that clearing up the situation with Yunho would make it easier for you to move on and forget him as you had initially planned, but you clearly were in the wrong. Feeling his eyes on you was even more painful now. But at least, he seemed to have found his energy back. It was the only thing that made you feel a little better. Because you felt like shit, even if you tried to convince yourself that what you did was for the best, that you couldn’t be together, that you had to be sensible, you didn’t want to do all that. You craved his touch, his kisses, his loving gaze. You craved him and his soothing aura. You craved his love. You wanted him back, but everything was so complicated, everything was so messed up, you weren’t even sure it could work. 

Even if Yunho respected your wish for space and time, he still hadn’t stopped texting you throughout your days - reminders for you to drink, eat and rest properly. You never answered but you saw the messages and it was all that mattered to him. And even if he tried to come back to his daily life, to his routine, he couldn’t. You had taken such an important place in his heart that everything felt empty without you and your smile to brighten his world. Nothing felt as appealing as before. Reading couldn’t take his mind out of things anymore, because he could only see your annotations on the ones you had given to him. And everytime he passed by Mrs McMillan bookstore, his thoughts immediately came back to you and how pretty you looked that day. 

So when some colleagues from the university invited him to have some drinks after work, he said yes. Yunho hoped that some alcohol and talking about anything and everything could take his mind off of you. But all it did was make it worse. With each drink, he felt the urge to call you even stronger. All he wanted was to at least hear your voice, hear his name fall from your lips, see your face, even if the pain he caused was written all over it. 

“- Angel…

- Yunho ? Why are you calling me ? Is there something wrong.”

He sighed in relief at finally hearing your voice ringing in his ears again, at finally hearing you say his name. He preferred the surname you had granted him, but he would take everything that you were willing to give him. 

“- I just… I miss you, and I need you, and I’m sorry. I wanted to tell you again. Because I feel like I didn’t apologise enough.

- It’s okay, I swear. I told you I need some time. Everything is…. Puzzling.

- Still, I’m sorry. 

- I know you are.”

There was silence, but the fact that you hadn’t hung up yet made a little bit of hope blossom in his heart. Maybe there was still a chance. Maybe there was still a world in which you could grant him your forgiveness. 

“- I can’t imagine my life without you. I tried. But I can’t. I need you, angel.

- You know that we can’t, that I can’t. You have a girlfriend, and your family, a career. I can’t just come in and mess up everything.

- I don’t care about all of that. If I’m with you it’s worth it. Please, angel, let me at least see you, even if it’s the last time I get to have you. I want you, one last time. After that, I’ll let you go if that’s what you really want, and I promise you will never have to worry about me again.”

You stayed silent for a while again, your defeated sigh being the only noise echoing through the line.

“- Okay. But this is the last time.”

However, when you joined him in the hotel room you had grown familiar with, you didn’t want it to be the last time. You wanted to stay in his arms forever. You didn’t talk, afraid of the things you could say, afraid you would beg him to stay, to come back, to do exactly what he swore he would do if only you asked him. But you tried not to think about that as you let him kiss you tenderly, as if you were going to break under his touch. And you might, because you needed him so bad it made everything hurt when he was not there.

No words were exchanged as you got rid of your clothes. No words were exchanged when you pushed him down onto the bed and straddled his thighs. No words were needed when you kissed him for the first time in weeks. It felt like you could both finally breathe, like you felt alive again, and it made all the pain go away for just a moment. 

“- I missed you, angel, missed you so fucking much…

- Me too, Yu.”

This was all you were able to say before he shut you up with another desperate kiss, making out with you as if it was the last time he got to have your lips on his - and maybe it would be. So you just decided to shut off your brain, simply running your hands through his hair and thinking about nothing else. You wanted to take your time and appreciate his touch, his eyes and the way he was moaning under your hands, but it felt like you were in a hurry, quickly discarding both of your underwear and sinking down on his cock. You gripped his shoulders, closing your eyes as you let yourself bask into the feeling of finally being full. But your desire took over you, grinding on his dick desperately.

And Yunho couldn’t look at your face, couldn’t see your beautiful eyes without thinking back to them filling up with tears the day he messed up everything between the two of you. But his body was overwhelmed by the feeling of you wrapped around him after weeks of only being able to look at you from afar, relying on his souvenirs to remember what it felt like to kiss you. He desperately wanted to engrave your face in his memories and keep it there forever, but it was too hard. So instead, he just flipped you over the bed, burying his head in your neck to not be tempted to cross your gaze anymore. But his hands still found their way to yours, fingers intertwining as he sped up the pace of his thrusts, both of you moaning in harmony. 

It wasn’t as intimate or as emotional as Yunho wanted your last time together to be like. But the alcohol was clouding his mind even more than everything he felt for you, and the urge to make you his - even if you weren’t, and that you would never be - was taking over him more and more with every clench of your cunt around him. 

“- Fuck, angel… Tell me you love me please…”

You didn’t want to, because you knew how that would make both of you feel, but the words spilled out from your lips before you could stop it, squeezing his hands tighter. 

“- I love you, I love you so much…”

It was enough for Yunho to feel a rush of emotions and desire flood through his veins, his thrusts becoming sloppy and losing any kind of rhythm. It all felt too much, from the way he was hitting your sweet spot to the way his little whines mixed with “i love you”’s that made your heart throb and your mind wanting to hear more of them. It all felt too much to the point you felt on the verge of tears as he laid on top of you, trying to regain some consciousness. But you were fully aware of everything that had just happened, and even if you wanted nothing more than to spend another night in his arms, you knew it wouldn’t do you any good. So you stayed like that until he fell asleep, murmuring again and again against your skin how much you meant to him, that he needed you. And then you ran away, putting your clothes back on in a hurry and checking out your appearance in the mirror of the elevator you had grown familiar with. Except that this time, there was nothing left from the joyful sparkle that usually brightened your eyes whenever you left the hotel. All you could see was how miserable he made you once again, all you could see were the tears cascading down your cheeks and along the marks he left on your neck. You slapped your hand on your mouth, pathetically trying to cover up your sobs. It hurt even more than that day, for some reasons. It all hurt too much to hold it in. 

When Yunho woke up in the morning to an empty bed, he was not surprised, but he was still disappointed. He wished he could have woken up one last time to your pretty and relaxed face, he wished he could have held you through the night one last time. Even if it happened only a few times, when you were too tired to go back to your dorms, it still felt incredibly right to open his eyes and see you all cuddled up against him. Getting up and leaving the room he had so many memories in revealed to be a lot more difficult than he thought it would have been. He took his time getting dressed and making sure he didn’t forget anything before slowly closing the door behind him. Taking a quick look at his reflection in the elevator’s mirror like you did only a few hours ago was enough to notice how wretched he was. His hair were a mess, his eye bags were even worse than a few days before despite him having overslept, and his clothes were wrinkled. But the way it was written all over his face was even more telling. 

The ride back to his apartment was like a walk of shame - because he had promised to his girlfriend that he would be back before 2am, because he made you suffer again, because he felt like shit, like there was no escape from this situation he put himself in. Yunho only had time to hope that Hana was still asleep but as soon as he opened the door, she jumped from her spot on the couch where she had apparently spent a lot of time worrying, seeing how panicked she seemed. 

“- Where were you !? You told me you would be back last night and it’s fucking 10am, Yunho !”

Her anger was totally justified, but the only thing he wanted to do right now was to just be swallowed by the floor, or to curl up in his bed and not get up for the next three years. 

“- I’m sorry, baby, I…

- You what !? It’s the fourth time you’re pulling something like that on me this month, what is going on !?”

Yunho was ready to serve her another well prepared lie, the ones he kept on telling her since he started ditching her to be with you. But he just couldn’t bring himself to say that they all got back to one of his coworkers apartment to keep drinking after the bar closed, and that his phone died so he couldn’t warn her about it, and that he was too drunk and out of his mind to think about borrowing one of his colleagues’. He couldn’t lie to her right now, he couldn’t anymore. And as if it was now a habit every time you sneaked into his mind, he felt tears prickling his eyes, dropping his head low like the coward he was because he couldn’t bear to see her hurt, to see her crying because of him too. And as it had become quite usual for him through the course of these last weeks, apologies slipped past his lips. 

“- I’m sorry Hana, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry… 

- Yunho… Tell me what happened, talk to me. You’ve been so distant and quiet lately, it’s not like you to be so… So absent.”

He wanted to answer, to finally tell her the truth, to tell her everything, but he couldn’t get any word to leave his mouth, only quiet sobs resonating in the hallway as he tried to stop the tears from running down his cheeks. Slowly, Hana got closer to him, taking his hands in hers and guiding him to the couch where he sat down without any resistance and let her pull him into a hug. She could hear his voice shaking and breaking down everytime he let out another apology. It took a long moment for Yunho to finally be able to calm down and find his words back. And when he did, it didn’t make things easier, it didn’t make telling her easier. 

“- I… I met someone.”

The sad but knowing smile spreading on her lips told him everything he needed to know. Because, of course, she was not dumb. Of course, she had understood a long time ago what was going on. Of course, Yunho was the only asshole, the only one to blame for everything he put her, and you, through. 

“- I expected you to say that. 

- I’m so fucking sorry, Hana. I never meant for that to happen, I hadn’t even thought about doing that before I met her. And once it started I couldn’t stop, and when I wanted to tell you everything, it was already too late to not hurt you, and I just got carried away. I’m sorry, I really didn-

- Stop ! Just… Stop.”

So Yunho did, anxiously watching her as she ran a hand through her hair, probably trying to come up with an easy way to tell him that he was a bastard. Which he was, to be honest. 

“- I’m not an idiot. I know that you stopped loving me years ago, Yunho. And I’m not blind either, I saw how you got that sparkle in your eyes back one day, and I knew very well it was not because of me. And before you say anything about being sorry, I know it. I know you are, and I know that you wouldn’t have wanted to hurt me even if I’m just a friend in your eyes. 

- Hana…

- Don’t look at me like that, it’s not a big deal. We’ve been a couple since highschool, it was impossible for us to keep on loving each other until the end of times. I stopped feeling any romantic feelings a while ago, too. Our families are simply what they are, and we can’t change them. But I’m kind of glad you gave us a valid excuse to break up.”

Yunho couldn’t help the giggles that escaped him. She always had that dark humour that he loved so much, and that nobody got except for him and her. 

“- You did not just forgive me for cheating on you because you wanna break up, right ?

- Oh, I certainly did !”

Both of them laughed it off, and it was like a weight was lifted off of his chest, like he could finally breathe a little better. Not as well as when he was with you, but it was a little less bad, now. 

“- You’re sure you wanna do this ? You know how much trouble we’re gonna get into if we break up, right ?

- I know, and trust me when I tell you that I’ve thought about it a lot before. And I’m ready, I don’t want them to dictate my life anymore. I think you can understand that better than everyone else.

- Yeah.”

Silence fell back onto the room, and Yunho never felt more at home in his own apartment than after having agreed to break up with his years-long relationship. But he knew it was better like that, knew that they both needed to finally close this chapter of their life and take a new beginning. 

“- We’re still friends, though, right ? I still need to hear you spill all the tea about your weird coworkers.”

Hana laughed loudly, and the smile spreading on her lips had never been this wide since so much time that he almost forgot what she looked like when she was happy. 

“- Of course ! And I wanna know all the updates about that girl, because she must be brave to want to engage in a relationship with you.”

It was his turn to smile and let happiness fill him again. Why he waited so much time to finally be honest with her when it was clear that they had no feelings for each other anymore would certainly forever be an enigma. But at least, they were both free. At least, Hana could find someone that will truly love her, that will love her like she deserved to be loved. And Yunho didn’t know if that would be enough to convince you that he was serious about you, that he truly loved you, but he had to try. Because you were worth every tear he shed, and all the pain in the world. He would go through these weeks of anguish again and again if it meant you would take him back. 

But Yunho had always been a gentleman - and yeah, it was ironic to describe himself like that after everything he had done - and he let you have as much time as you needed, as much space as you asked for. And even when the urge of letting you know about everything that happened was strong, he resisted the temptation to call you, or to send you a text he knew you would not read because you stopped doing that since that night. 

Everytime his gaze crossed yours in class, it was as if the first time he kissed you in that empty classroom replayed in his mind, it was as if he could still see himself wearing his leather jacket more often only because it still smelled like you and your perfume, it was as if he could still hear you say you loved him for the first time. Everytime his gaze crossed yours in class, he wished you wouldn’t shy away, he wished you wouldn’t look so hurt, he wished he could go back in time and not do all the mistakes he did, he wished he could do everything right and make you happy, and love you right. 

Still, he let you run away after every class so you wouldn’t risk staying in his presence too much. Still, he let you slip through his hands a little more every time you answered his questions about books he had given to you without that energy and passion you had when it was only the two of you in that hotel room, when everything was still perfect. But it also felt like if he didn’t do something right now, you were gonna leave and never come back in his life. He had to do something, he had to stop being a loser, he had to show you that you were never the second choice. 

You were surprised to find another bouquet of lilies on your doorstep before going to class on a random Wednesday. It had been weeks since you last talked to him outside of classes, and it had been more than two months since you last looked at his texts. You weren’t strong enough to block his number again, but you tried not to open the messages anymore. This time there was something written on a little note ; him asking you to meet him by the hill he showed you the night it all went down if you were willing to listen to him, and that if you didn’t come, he would understand that you didn’t want to see him again and that he would leave you alone, no questions asked. 

You thought that you would hesitate more, but in your heart, you had already made the decision to go as soon as you saw the bouquet of your favourite flowers he managed to remember even months after you told him. When you parked your car at the spot he had showed you, his was already there. Yunho was waiting for you, contemplating the cityscape, leaning against the hood of his car, hands in the pockets of his black pants, his white tee moving along with the wind. He looked good in anything, but these simple outfits were always making him look so cosy that you wanted nothing more than snuggling in his arms. 

The warmer wind of the end of spring hit your face as soon as you put your feet outside, the breeze making your hair and the skirt of your flowy dress fly around like you were in some type of dramatic movie. Expect that in those, it always ended well, and that you knew for a fact that your happy end was impossible. But Yunho turned to look at you almost in slow motion, and this time, you couldn’t avoid his intense stare, and this time, you wanted to dive back into whatever the two of you had. 

“- You came.”

His voice was steady, but you could still hear the relief seeping through his words.

“- You asked.”

It was as simple as that, as simple as breathing and walking, as simple as reading and writing. He asked, he called, and you were there in a heartbeat because you would sell your soul for him. 

“- We broke up. We agreed that we didn’t love each other anymore for a long time, and that it was the best decision for both of us.”

You wanted to be sarcastic, wanted to tell him something along the lines of “you want a medal or something”, but it was only because you didn’t know how to deal with that information. Because you didn’t know if it meant anything to him, if it meant anything to you. Before you could think about a kinder response, Yunho continued. 

“- I told you I was willing to do everything if it meant I could be with you, and I was serious. This is the first step, and I’m gonna go all the way even if you’re not willing to give me a second chance because you made me realise how wrong I was all this time.

- But you have a family, friends and a job. You won’t give all that up for me, I don’t want you to. 

- Angel, I’m taking all these risks because it’s for you, because I want you to see that I’m ready to do anything it takes to be with you, and that I’ll keep proving that you didn’t make a mistake by choosing me if you’re letting me come back into your life. My family gave up on me a long while ago, it’s only time for them to understand everything they put me through. And I believe that my friends will be wise enough to choose to support me, because you’re my happiness, and that’s what they should wish for me. 

- Yes, but you’ll still be my teacher. 

- I’ve been your teacher until then and it didn’t cause any problems, did it ? And even if I got in trouble, I know we would figure something out. You mean everything to me Y/N, and I will spend the rest of my life making myself worthy of you if you let me because I love you like I’ve never loved anyone else before.”

Your mind wanted you to say no, but your heart was begging for you to say yes, to give in, to let yourself be happy. And for once, you decided to stop being reasonable. For once, you decided to let things go, to let him guide you through it, to let yourself live.

“- You already are. You’ve always been worthy of me, Yu. I-I love you too, I love you so much.”

This time, when tears started to run down your cheeks, Yunho didn’t hesitate one second before pulling you into his arms, running his fingers against your back to soothe you. The way you immediately circled his waist to have him closer to you made his heartbeat pick up, and you chuckled lightly against his chest when you noticed it. And you stayed like that for who knows how long. The only thing you were aware of was that you’ve never felt as good as when you were in his arms. And maybe it was wrong, maybe it was a mistake. But it felt just right, it clicked perfectly, like the last pieces of a puzzle you had forgotten on your desk for years and that you finally came back to complete only now. When you raised your head to look him in the eyes, Yunho smiled, and you couldn’t help doing the same, especially when he kissed your forehead, and then your nose, and then your lips. 

“- In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.”

You wanted to slap him for being so cheesy, but the way your heart missed a couple of beats at the intensity with which he was looking into your eyes rendered you unable to talk, unable to think about some quote to say back to him. 

“- If you keep on confessing to me like that, I might give in, you know…

- Don’t worry about that, angel, I have a ton of citations you’re gonna love.”

His boyish grin made you smile wider, and you couldn’t help the urge to kiss him again, because now you had the right to do so. Being the teacher’s pet had its downsides, but in terms of love confessions, you were certain that Yunho would never run out of ideas. And you were okay with that, because as long as he was with you and that you were with him, there was no way something would go wrong. You smiled at him, and he smiled at you, and as the sun set behind you like in the romance movies you despised, you thought that maybe, happy endings were not so bad in the end, especially when you were the one getting kissed passionately at the end of the film.

-> i don't allow any copies, translations or reposts of my work.

-> moon dividers by @samspenandsword

ateez masterlist (fill in this to be added) :

@sharonxdevi @hann1bee @lil-kpopstan @foxinnie8 @riraives

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

im really sorry if this is a stupid thing to ask but im 16 and ive been trying to figure out what kinds of things i like, yknow for reference, and uh ik that people say that all kinks are ok but then they also turn around and say that some arent. and i keep getting turned on by rape scenes in shows and things and then i feel really fucking shitty about it and im not sure how i should. idk deal with that, if theres anything to deal with. basically the whole things confusing as fuck and i dont know what to do and you usually have answers

hi anon,

okay, here's the thing: what you're getting turned on by is people playing pretend. no one is in any danger, no one is actually being raped, depending on when the tv show or movie in question was made there's a very good chance there was an intimacy coordinator on standby to make sure everything was done respectfully and all of the actors felt safe and comfortable.

being turned on by a depiction of something bad happening carries no ethical weight, because being horny and enjoying fiction are morally neutral things. people who like Godzilla probably aren't into it because they actually want to see real people and cities be destroyed by a big lizard, you know? it's fun because it's pretend. it's made up.

would personal examples help? I love reading romance novels. I don't want romance to happen to me, that shit gives me hives. but I love to read about people catching feelings and figuring it out. and, hey, you've seen my URL. I love Batman. that doesn't mean I think actual billionaires should zoom around in tanks doing vigilante justice with children, that's fucking crazy. and you want a sex example? I think it's great when men are beaten, bruised, bloodied, and quivering miserably on the edge of death's door. that's so hot to me, I eat that shit up. does that mean I would want to see that happen in real life? jesus christ, no. if I find an actual man in extreme physical distress on the ground I'm not going to start bating my meat, I'm going to call a fucking ambulance and try to help him as best I can. because the way my brain responds to real people is completely different than the way my brain responds to made up people who aren't actually in any pain or danger.

there's nothing to deal with here, because you haven't done anything wrong.

[judyx526]

Genya Shinazugawa NSFW Alphabet

Note: I normally don’t post on Tumblr at all. But I noticed a lack of Genya fan fiction and it seems a lot of people feel this way, so I made a simple one. Genya is 4+ years older for this, so he’s around 20-21. This is 18+ kids... I know where to find you. 

A=Aftercare(what they’re like after sex)

The king of aftercare. He makes sure you’re taken care of and comfortable. Always grabs a damp towel and water after doing the deed. Need more pillows and blankets? You name it and he’ll grab it. Want to soak in the bath? Man’s booking it with you in his arms to the bathroom. Considering his father was an abusive jackass to his own mother and did more harm than good, so he’ll do anything to take care of you.

 ---

“Are.. Ahem are you alright?” Genya croaked

After catching your breath, your hands soothed their way into his thick hair. A smile graced your lips as you nodded, “Yeah… I am a little thirsty though.”

He stared at you for a moment then set his forehead on yours and responded with “Alright..”

Within minutes, Genya was running a warm, damp towel along your thighs and stomach while you drank some water. Once you were finished, you gently stopped him from overcleaning and pulled him into an embrace, a small blush evident on his cheeks as you pressed his face against your chest. The man was asleep in seconds as you massaged his scalp, and pressed kisses to his head.

B=Body Part(their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner's)

On himself, he likes his arms. Despite not having the best confidence in himself, he knows he can depend on his strength, whether it be to protect or please you.

On you, he loves your neck and thighs. Though he’ll never admit it out loud, he loves leaving marks on both spots. Especially on your thighs. There’s just something about biting and sucking on such sensitive areas that drives him crazy and makes him want to leave more than intended.

---

Your legs were starting to cramp from how long he’d been holding them on top of his shoulders. Even so, it was undeniable that Genya was enjoying himself and taking his time leaving hickies on your plump thighs. Despite the awkward position, you couldn’t bring yourself to stop him because of how good his teeth felt on your skin. With a small tug on his hair, his dark eyes met yours with a hint of concern. A hum escaped your throat as you nudged his face closer to your entrance with a blush. Red enveloped his cheeks before pulling your hips closer to his face. This man was truly gonna be the death of you.

C=Cum

Most of the time, on your stomach or back. There’s something about making a mess of you that makes him go feral. Half the time, it’s what gets him going for another round.

However, every once in a while, he’ll release inside you and watch in awe as his cum seeps out. You always giggle a bit at his fascination with the staring, but you love it either way. You love seeing him go crazy from it, even if you end up walking funny later.

---

“Enjoying the view, love?”

Genya jolted a bit at the comment before muttering an apology.

“Don’t say sorry. I like it too.”

“Ah.. good to know.”

D=Dirty Secret

There’s not much Genya will keep from you, after all he promised to always be honest. However, he has had thoughts of you taking control over him more than usual. I.E. tying down his hands and feet while you have your way with him. Watching you ride him time and time again always gets his heart racing and his imagination running wild.

One other secret is the fact he likes it up the ass. How he found out was by pure accident. He was on top of you when your hand traveled down his back to grab his ass cheek and a couple of your fingers dipped into his hole. He didn’t even think you realized what you were doing considering how tight your grip was on his plump ass. Afterward when he happened to be on a solo mission, he reached down and tried it for himself. Let’s just say his face was beet red after. Overtime, he’s been working up the courage to ask you about it, but he gets too flustered by the time you’re in front of him. One day he’ll tell you. Hopefully.

E=Experience(how experienced are they? do they know what they're doing?)

This is Genya we’re talking about, the man blushes whenever he interacts with girls period. He was surprised with being able to pull you for himself. Once you had reached that critical point in your relationship where you two were getting a little too touchy, he was embarrassed to admit he’d never had sex before. But you didn’t blame him. Being in the Demon Slayer Corps didn’t grant either of you time to have that pleasure, even if it was for yourselves. However, the first time you two had sex was truly a once in a lifetime experience.

---

“Um, Genya?”

“Y-Yeah?”

“Can.. Can you kiss me for a minute? Please?”

His only response was to stare then place his lips on yours and rest his hips on yours. A moan hummed in your throat as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders and legs around his hips. You felt one of his calloused palms cradle your face as the kiss became more passionate. Even knowing how strong he was, it made your heart swell with how gentle he was with you.

A few minutes later, you whispered his name and pulled away, cradling his face.

“Be gentle, okay?”

He simply nodded with a small smile then pecked your lips once more.

F=Favorite Position

You might as well be asking him to choose between you and his favorite meal. He can never truly pick a favorite position; however, he does have a top three:

1) Cowgirl

2) Missionary

3) Upstanding Citizen[basically fucking you against the wall]

He does have a weak spot for doggystyle, especially when he’s got a lot of energy and his confidence is higher than usual. He feels bad when you can’t feel your legs after, but you have no qualms or objection when he’s rougher. It’s a big turn on actually.

---

This was the third round, and you two were just getting started. You had been separated for almost a month due to a really important mission he was assigned. Shinobu had just released him from the hospital as most of his injuries were healed. Your grip on his hair was almost terrifying as he held your thighs open and thrusted into you, pressing you back against the wooden wall. His face was buried into your neck with your head arched back.

“O-Oh! God, Genya… Right there!”

“Fuck…! I missed you so much, baby..”

His teeth attached themselves to your throat, causing a loud moan to echo through the room.

You had a lot of catching up to do.

G=Goofy(are they serious all the time or will they make you laugh?)

Genya has always been a serious man, just like his brother. That includes when you’re having sex.

But every once in a while, he’ll end up making you giggle while trying to be all stoic. It’s unintended, of course. However, if it makes you happy, he won’t mind. Your laugh is the music to his ears.

---

“Heh.. G-Genya…” you utter out as you try not to laugh at the state of his wild hair nearly covering his eyes.

“Ah shit..” he cursed at himself as he tried to fix the mop of hair, slightly irritated he didn’t tie it up.

“It’s… It’s okay, love.. Pfft, r-really..”

“But you’re laughing!”

“Because it’s adorable!”

“I’m not supposed to be adorable, damnit!”

A laugh erupted from your chest as you held your stomach. You truly didn’t mean it, but his flustered attempts to make himself all serious for your sake was a bit comical. Genya made a move to get up with a huff but you grabbed his arm and pulled him into your embrace with a giggle.

“I promise it’s okay. I love it when you’re like this. You don’t have to be perfect for me. I love you for you.”

A small blush rushed to his cheeks before he pouted in defeat and muttered “Thanks..”

H=Hair(are they well-groomed?)

Even before he met you, he always made it a rule to keep himself well kept and clean. He’s an overall clean person despite his condition to consume demons. Genya keeps himself trimmed and well-groomed, though there are times he completely shaved off all the hair.

On you; however, he could care less if you were as smooth as a baby’s bum or as hairy as a bush, it won’t keep his oral fixation down. He’ll eat you out till you crush his head and suffocate him. ‘A hell of a way to die’ as Sanemi put it.

I=Intimacy(how are they in the moment?)

Considering how touch-starved he was when you two started seeing each other, the ‘intimacy’ was nonexistent to him. Slowly, you introduced him to it through holding his fingers and gently massaging his scalp. He practically fell asleep the first time he laid in your lap as you messed with his hair.

When it comes to sex, it came naturally to him. Simply from watching you be gentle with him of all things. Pressing his forehead to yours. Holding your hand. Checking in to make sure you’re okay. Hell, running his hands along your body to massage the aches out of your muscles. He loves doing it. He needs to be as close to you as physically possible.

J=Jack-Off(do they masturbate often?)

Genya can be a bit prideful, but not overly prideful. He understands his body has needs. But it doesn’t mean he’ll masturbate every single time. This is a man trained to be in control and calm at all times.

He won’t get himself off unless it’s truly unbearable. And even then, he tries to restrain himself until he’s with you again. He’s almost always in danger, he’d rather take his chances waiting for you. He cherishes every moment he spends with you.

K=Kink

Overall, Genya isn’t too kinky. He likes to keep things simple. The kinks he does have are truly stimulating.

1) Breeding Kink - This one is pretty obvious considering he loves watching his cum leak out of you. The thought of you being full with his kids isn’t a common thought, but a very tempting one.

2) Biting/Marking Kink - Another obvious one, afterall he leaves hickies all over your thighs, shoulders, and neck. Simply put: if someone sees them, it simply means ‘fuck off, she’s taken’ to any potential single man.

3) Choking Kink - When I mean choking kink, I mean it very mildly. Sometimes, he simply likes to hold onto your throat while he fucks you. However, he makes it a point for you to tell him if he’s squeezing you too much. Which thankfully hasn’t happened. Like I said, this guy has a lot of control over his strength.

4) Slight Manhandling Kink - In simple terms, he likes to hold your hands above your head and even toss you a bit. But only if you’re comfortable with it. This one is very slight as it only happens when he really needs to get his energy, and even frustration, out. 

L=Location(where do they like to have sex?)

Genya prefers to keep your sex lives in the bedroom. It’s the most private you guys can get and he wants to keep it that way. And again, he has a lot of self-control. You, on the other hand, have tested his patience a couple times.

There was only one time he fucked you outside the comfort of your bedroom. You two had a couple of drinks, and you thought it would be a good idea to tease him. He proceeded to fuck you behind a tree. He won’t admit it out loud, but it was a little fun.

M=Motivation(what turns them on, gets them going?)

He doesn’t need too much motivation when it comes to you. Just say the word and he’ll have you on your back in seconds. Then again, Genya always makes it a point to ask you if you were sure. Your consent is all he needs.

N=NO(something they will not do)

Genya will absolutely never inflict any pain on you. Too many people in this world suffer in pain every day. When he wants to have sex with you, he wants both of you to feel good. Period.

Despite it happening once, Genya is still firm in his belief to keep your sex lives in the bedroom. No one else needs to see you two in such a vulnerable position.

O=Oral(giving or receiving?are they good at it?)

When I tell you this man has an oral fixation, it’s almost always like he’s dying of thirst. He is a natural giver. Want you to sit on his face 24/7. Half the time you guys get intimate, it consists mostly of Genya with his face between your legs. There is a reason he has a strong jaw and sense of taste. Sometimes he gets a little ahead of himself and overstimulates you. But you love it. It just requires a small break in between rounds sometimes.

When it comes to receiving oral from you; however, Genya turns into an absolute blushing, blubbering mess. Tries not to cum too quickly, but you don’t mind. In fact, you try to get him to release a few times from your hands and mouth before actualling fucking. It’s when you use your tongue that truly drives him insane. Like he’s fisting your hair and almost throat fucking you(poor baby always worries about hurting you tho).

---

Delicate fingers tug on Genya’s hair as his tongue laps up your folds, his thumb rubbing your clit in circles. This was your third go around and the stimulation was starting to overwhelm your senses. He was always so insatiable when it came to tasting you. His grip on your hips and thighs were the only thing keeping you steady as you sat atop his face. You really wanted to treat him as well, but he refused to accept the praise until you’ve cum on his tongue at least four times. Truly vigorous this man.

“Genya….” You moaned and whimpered as your hips moved back and forth against his mouth.

“Fuck.. Fuck me, you taste amazing.” he mumbled on your folds

If this was heaven, he wanted to stay forever.

P=Pace(are they fast and rough? or slow and sensual?)

It really depends. Most of the time, he wants to take his time with you. Passionate and sensual is the definition of a perfect night for you two.

On days he’s feeling extra spicy, he won’t hesitate to fuck the shit out of you. He will hold your hips so hard there will be handprints on your skin later. I’m talking there will be accessories and decorations shattered on the floor. Clothes? Torn to shreds. Furniture? Will be broken and replaced

Side Note: He feels embarrassed afterward and worries if he hurt you, but you’re a giggling mess. So, you just hold onto him and tell him you like that side of him. He blushes and accepts the affection.

Q=Quickie

Pretty much nonexistent. Like I said, this man does not like having sex with you out in the open. The time behind the tree was a one time thing.

Aside from the obvious, he doesn’t just want to pull you into some closet like a dirty secret. He wants to caress you, hold you, and kiss you as if it’s his last night on earth.

R=Risk

Don’t need to reiterate. He will not risk anything that includes exposing or hurting either of you. You are the most important person in his life[aside from Sanemi] and that is all anyone needs to know. 

S=Stamina(how many rounds can they go?)

Remember how I mentioned he prefers to have you cum on his tongue at least four times before the main event?Yeah, that doesn’t even count. 

It’ll start out slow and sensual like usual, but he’s rubbing your clit half the time. He likes it when you two finish together. This can go for three rounds without breaks. 

He’ll clean you up with his tongue, but not to overstimulate you. He just really likes to eat you out. 

The last two to three rounds, he gets a bit excited and thrusts with more passion than before. He’ll cum before you do but he’ll keep going until you cum one more time. 

Overall, he can last about five to six rounds. Even on days he’s tired. He will not stop until you are satisfied.

T=Toys[modern headcanon]

Personally, I believe he would have a small collection of toys. A couple vibrators[for both you and himself], dildos[mainly for him ;)], and some handcuffs and rope. We all know he secretly likes it up the ass.

U=Unfair(do they tease you? do they like to be teased?)

Genya doesn’t necessarily like to tease you. He sees no point to it as he simply wants to please you, not torment you. 

As for himself, he doesn’t care for it. He won’t mind if you tease him a little bit, but he’s grateful you don’t. You will please each other till kingdom come. 

V=Volume(how loud are they during sex)

Genya isn’t too loud. He mainly grunts and groans in your ear. However, if you touch and scratch him in the right places, he’ll whimper fairly loudly. You can’t help but smirk a bit from it, but you never bring it up since it’ll embarrass him.

W=Wild Card

This is mostly circumstantial as it pertains to the type of demon he’s consumed. His demonic abilities fade away within hours; however, there were a few times the demons he ate affected his tongue.

Long story short, the demon had a forked tongue. Normally, that sort of thing wouldn’t affect him, but for some reason, this time it did. The morning Genya came back from his mission, he woke you up with a bit of a surprise. You were louder than usual as he tongued you. Having a forked tongue inside was a whole different experience. Apparently, Genya forgot all about it and was just going along with it out of habit.

X=X-Ray

Genya is a big guy. Bigger than his older brother[who denies it]. It’s safe to say he’s on the bigger spectrum overall.

He’s five and a half inches soft and almost seven inches when hard. He’s mostly long and a bit veiny. One vein runs along the underside of his dick, which is sensitive when you glide your tongue along it.

Y=Yearning(how high is their sex drive?)

His sex drive was nonexistent before he met you. After though? He wishes he could have you 24/7. But he doesn’t show it, he’s a gentleman after all. He must show he has self-control around you.

Z=Zzz(how fast do they fall asleep afterward?)

After making sure both of you have been taken care of, Genya almost always falls asleep right away. The sex plus all the fighting and training that comes with being a Demon Slayer takes a toll on his mind and body. So, the fact he can sleep in the arms of the person he loves is all he can ask for at the end of the day.

---

The soft snores from your lover’s lips were music to your ears as you ran your fingers along his back up to his scalp. A smile spread across your face before closing your eyes and humming.

“I love you, Genya… More than you’ll ever know.”

_____

Hope you guys enjoyed!

[boiohboii]

Protective girl (Charles Leclerc x reader)

Inspires by @charles-eclair16 's fic

When fans go too far, yn wants to protect the one treasure in her life

or

in which we finally get to see the roles reversed

N.B: this is been in my drafts for so long, omg! Let me know what you guys think!! WARNING: not proof read, some swear words, might have messed up a date, don't focus on any dates mentioned, this is all fictional anyways. Hope you guys like it

masterlist

Liked by Arthur_leclerc, carlossainz55, pierregasly and 1,379,064 others

itsmeyn: charles always goes above and beyond for every single fan of his, he tries to take as many pictures and sign as many autographs as possible, but what happened last night was a fucking joke. He doesn't like what I'm writing cause he says that it was just a mistake and that it was fine, but it really isn't, it's so disrespectful and disgusting! He always wants to meet his fans and make them happy only to receive this insanity, him falling AND HURTING HIMSELF because some of you can't fucking wait and be organized like a human being! Charles isn't an animal in a zoo where you race to pet him! He is a human being, he is a son, a brother and a boyfriend! This wasn't just an accident, i have seen these 6 girls multiple times in multiple places! it's so obsessive and so so sick of you to follow him everywhere.... Charles won't speak up because he is Charles and he lives seeing the good in people, but I will tear everything and everyone for his safety, so for you 6 girls you will be hearing from court soon so better prepare a good lawyer you assholes!

Comments on this post have been disabled.

Liked by leclercboy, ynistheitgurl, fuckferarri and 91,739 others

F1_updates_live: Charles Leclerc's girlfriend, YN LN, seen today arriving in front of the UK's courthouse in a red SF9 Ferarri. It had been quite a week for YN as she was seen hitting a fan after the said fan pushed Charles. YN took this fan and 5 others to court, no one knows on what bases but what has come out is that she has won the case which means that Charles and YN have restraining orders against the group.

username: OHH HEEEELLL YEAAAAAHH

username: yn doing God's work

username: yn serving justice

username: that's what we needed

username: hot girl shit

username: the car and suit combo is so fucking hot of her

username: I think this is too much, like these girls just wanted to see Charles

username: @.itsmeyn can we make them 7?

username: another one

Liked by Charles_leclerc, danielricciardo, pierregasly and 617,829 others

itsmeyn: don't blame me, love made me crazy

username: YN IS A FELLOW SWIFTIE?!?!?

username: if I had a nickel for everytime yn and I had something in common I'd have 2 nickels, which is not a lot but it's weird that it's happened twice

username: now I just want her to watch all the charles edits done with a taylor song

itsmeyn: who says i already don't 🌚

username: and I oop-

username: THIS IS THE SWEETEST AND CRINGIEST SHIT EVER!

Liked by wolfffam, maxverstappen1, lance_stroll and 817,629 others

itsmeyn: congratulations to my baby, the love of my life, you deserve it and so much more ♥️♥️

username: FINALLY!!

username: idk how to react, ferarri has let us down too many times that all I know is lose

username: I don't see how he deserves it tbh, all of his results are shit for quite a while , he's only where he is cause he's driving a ferarri 🤷‍♂️

itsmeyn: oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know you were the one in a formula one car, in a ferarri, that by the words of many professionals is at its worse era. I don't care about you and your opinion but don't state it as a fact, no one can do better with these strategies. I hate to keep saying this but when your own fucking team doesn't have the same dream as you it turns to shit. Even if charles is the only one in the car, it's still a team sport, not a one man sport. Fuck you and your tiny ass brain that can never survive one lap in a formula one car, it'll probably explode cause of all the bullshit in it before the first lap anyway. So next time you wanna talk shit maybe try to do fifth of who you're criticising is doing, I bet that'll shut you up real quick you dimwit.

Liked by leclercpascale, pilotesofmonaco, tswiftyn, and 52,719 others

F1_updates_live: YN LN, Charles' long time girlfriend, seen today fighting Xavi in Bahrain due to his mistake on the radio which resulted in Charles losing his podium position.

username: good for her

username: charles is so lucky

username: I love how she always stands up for him

username: honestly, whenever charles or carlos ignore the strategies they win... I really wanna see more of that.

username: this is just Monaco 2024 GP all over again, yn was so fucking furious (rightfully so) cause Xavi's mistake costed charles a p1 in his home race.

username: this shit was so heartbreaking man

username: I think this was the first time we ever saw yn angry at sabotaging charles, like the most we saw was her holding his hand when crossing the street, making sure he eats first, playing with his hair when nervous, but I've never seen yn make someone literally cry until 2024 with Xavi being her victim

username: pffft, victim, he 100% deserved it

username: oh yeah, definitely. All my homes hate Xavi, like can you not say the strategy properly 😒

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for pretending I cheated on my partner when our common friend asked why we fought?

It will sound fake and fictional, but please bear with me because I'm getting crazy over it. And also sorry for any english mistake, we're not from an english speaking country.

To give some context: I am a man. There was this person, B(m), which whom I kind of grew up with. We went through the same schools from our 6 years old to 17 but we never were really friends. Then, around our 13, I got into a clique that fed into all my bad habits and I started to actively bully B because he seemed like an easy target at the time. I enjoyed it and was encouraged to do so (because I was such an asshole and I'm not even cringing thinking about it, it's worse. I regret it so much and I was a stupid and bad teenager). It was so bad that after years of enduring it, B changed school before we graduated and I went on with my life.

It' was's been about 15 years ago that I graduated.

In the meantime, I dealt with some problems that I had with my family and I went through intensive therapy which changed me for the better, and I came to terms with my sexuality as well.

Flashforward to 2019/2020, I meet with someone online through some games and it goes very well. Thanks to the Covid and the lockdowns, we play even more and get closer. At some point, I talk about an event happening close to my city, and he tells me that he knows about it as well and that we're living close to each other. Because we enjoyed our time online (ngl, we had started flirting although I didn't know how sincere it was) we decided to meet at that event.

And there, I find out that my online friend is B. It's extremely awkward but only for me because he cannot recognize me for three reasons: 1. I changed physically with my puberty finally finishing the job after my 18 birthday, and I found some love into dying my hair. 2. I changed in terms of personality thanks to the therapy I went through. 3. My legal name was changed when I said goodbye to this fucking family of mine and left without turning back (but I was getting sick just saying my last name).

I, obviously, didn't tell him anything about who I really was because I just wanted to enjoy that evening with a friend, and we didn't see each other since he left high school because of me. My plan was just to slowly distance myself from him after that evening but it failed because we had a lot of fun and we actually really hit off and I was dying constantly at the idea that he could find out.

We've been in a relationship sicne the beginning of 2021 and I was decided to just never tell him (horrifying idea I know, anyone with a braincell would have told me that it was bound to be found).

A month ago, I met with an old friend from high school (so yeah, he was in the bullying gang but more of a followers, so we stayed in friendly terms when we both agreed that it was bad) and as he recognized B, he decided to excuse himself and hoped that B would forgive him like he "forgave" me (I never got to tell that friend to shut up about that) so yeah, B found out that I was his main bully who had lied to him for almost 4 years now.

We had quite a big talk about it. How bad my bullying ended up for B; why I lied like that and never admitted it. And even if it went alright, B told me that he needed a break to think about things and it's going to be one month that I'm crashing at a common friend of us. At first, I just said that B and I got into a fight and it was good enough, but as it's been already a month, the friend asked more about it. Not wanting to bring up B's trauma to someone else (especially after our conversation), I just told the first lie that came to me and pretended that I cheated on B and he found out.

Now that common friend is calling me an asshole and keeps reminding me how much they are disappointed in me to have done something so horrifying to B. I keep wondering if I did well to lie like that, or if I should have found another way out.

[lvis44]

Sweet Escape - Wedding Pt. 2 // LH44

Lewis Hamilton x Y/N

Warnings: Language, Alcohol Consumption, Angst, Anxiety

Word Count: 5.4k

Summary: Paradise is supposed to be fun and relaxing... a Sweet Escape, but when unspoken feelings and jealousy rise to the surface, everything can be turned upside down in the blink of an eye.

Notes: The second part of our wedding... I was reading my doc and figured this part was solid enough to be put into the universe lol. More to come but, once again, I do not know the timeline. I hope this holds you guys enjoy and this holds you over in the meantime! *insert Lil Wayne - Sorry 4 The Wait - here*. I've said it a million times and I will say it a million more, I cannot get my brain to stay in one tense while writing so ignore it the best you can lol. I LOVE YOU GUYS!

I am not a professional writer and all of this is a work of fiction and is strictly for fun. Enjoy! xxx

Previous Sections: Prologue - Part One - Part Two - Part Three - Part Four - Part Five - Part Six - Part Seven - Part Eight - Epilogue - The Wedding Pt.1

You’re not sure how long you’ve been staring at the dark ceiling when you hear your phone start to vibrate on the side table, causing you to groan. Just because your nerves are keeping you awake doesn’t mean you want to talk to anyone. When you see his name flash across your screen your first reaction is to laugh at his insistence but quickly anxiety washes over you. Every possible thing that could be wrong flashing through your mind as you answer his call.

“Lew?” You croak out, your voice dry in your throat.

“Hey. Shit, I didn’t wake you did I? Just needed to hear your voice and this can’t possibly count as me seeing you before the wedding.” He’s quiet on the other end, probably trying not to wake Miles in the other room.

“No, can’t sleep.” You admit. You’ve thought a few times throughout the night that you should have given in and let him hold you tonight, knowing you more than likely already would have fallen asleep.

“Neither can I, my nerves are going crazy.” He sounds vulnerable and you can’t help but worry.

“Not backing out on me, are you?” You attempt to joke, even though the anxiety is real.

“What? No, baby, never.” He laughs at the absurdity of your question, making you feel that much better, “No, I’m just stressing over the whole thing. Thinking maybe we should have just run away and eloped.”

“We still can.” You giggle, knowing he’s joking but understanding the feeling.

He joins you in your laughter before falling silent. You know he’s too deep in his own thoughts so you let him settle on what he wants to say.

“I’m just worried something will go wrong like the catering will be shit or the decorations won’t be right. I don’t know, I just need it to be perfect for you. Perfect for us.” He finally shares, his voice is tired.

“Lew, the only thing that could possibly ruin tomorrow is if for some reason we legally can’t get married. Even if we end up in a courthouse, I’m ending the day as your wife. Everything else is just an excuse for us to throw a kick ass party.” You try your best to assure him.

His laugh comes through the phone before he lets out a sigh, “You’re right, nothing else matters. This is why I’m marrying you ya’ know.”

“Why? Because I would have said yes even if you proposed with a ring pop?” You tease him, your smile spreading across your face.

“Well that,” He laughs, “but also because with two sentences from you, I’ve felt calmer than I’ve felt since the second I got here to the hotel. You always manage to make everything seem okay and truth be told as long as I have you, it is.”

His words hit you deep, knowing how much he means them.

“You know you’re supposed to save the vows for later, right?” You joke, trying not to choke up, knowing if you’re too sincere with him right now you will end up in tears.

“I love you Y/N.” He says simply, aware you're trying not to get too emotional.

“I love you Lewis. You wanna stay on the phone?” It’s something you’ve done many times while he’s been away and the distance has gotten to be too much. You barely talk, just content in the sound of each other's breathing and the rustle of the others sheets.

“If you don’t mind?” He sounds nervous again, like he feels like he’s asking too much of you.

“Always. Good night Lew, I love you.” You say quietly, settling back into your bed.

“I love you baby.”

You don’t say another word, both falling asleep quickly after your chat. The comfort of each other being all you needed to truly relax.

* * *

Charlotte's soft voice ringing through the room is the first thing you hear as you try to adjust to being awake. The second you start to come into yourself, the nerves come flooding in.

“You didn’t hear a word I just said, did you?” Charlotte is laughing as you sit up in bed. Your phone is still sitting on top of the comforter next to you, the call now having ended. You can only assume Lewis is already awake and getting ready or his phone died. You can’t help but smile at the memory of your conversation last night, both of you needing a moment of solace within the other.

“What?” You ask groggily, attempting to wipe the sleep from your eyes.

“Well, to start I said Good Morning Ms. Soon to be Hamilton,” She started, her voice much too loud before realizing and quieting right down, “then I told you that hair and makeup are on their way to the venue and the car will be here in about an hour.”

You raised your eyebrows at her as she sat down on the bed.

“I know, I should have woken you up earlier but I heard you talking in here at almost three in the morning, I assume with Lewis, and I wanted you to get some sleep,” She explains softly, putting her hand up to stop you as you go to respond, “there’s a light breakfast here if you want some, but you have plenty of time to shower and grab some food. If you don’t eat now, I’ve already scheduled some food for you at the venue that you can eat while they're doing your hair before you get your makeup done.”

You let out a sigh, thankful that she has thought ahead, you go to thank her but she starts again.

“I’ve already confirmed with four different people at the venue that your dress is there, hair and makeup has a place to set up, your room is on the other side of the building from Lewis so you won’t run into him, and all of the decorations have arrived and are being set up. The only thing you have to do today is let us take care of you, know that Miles and I have everything under control, and get married!” She finishes her spiel with a smirk, knowing that everything she just covered were concerns running through your mind, always proving even further why she was your Maid of Honor.

“Thank you, you are an absolute angel.” You say as you grab her hand.

“I do have to ask, just being nosy,” She starts, laughing gently, “was it Lewis on the phone last night?”

You feel yourself blushing unnecessarily, there being no reason to be embarrassed for talking to the man you are about to marry.

“Yeah, neither of us could sleep, just needed to talk to each other for a second.” You say sheepishly.

“And that right there is why you two are getting married today baby!” She says enthusiastically, once again much louder than you would prefer for the time of day.

“I’m gonna take a shower,” You tell her as you push yourself out of bed, feeling your stomach growl, “food will be there for me?”

She laughs at your need to double check before nodding, “Yes there will, I heard that, you need some food.”

“Leave me alone.” You grumble, laughing softly to yourself too as you stumble to the bathroom.

“You’ve got an hour, let me know if you need anything.” You hear her yell as she makes her way out of your bedroom to let you shower in peace.

It feels like you’ve entered an alternate universe once you are out of the shower. You ended up taking longer than anticipated and were being rushed to get dressed before ushered downstairs and into the back of another town car. Charlotte had a small bag packed for you and said she would take care of your luggage that was still in the room after the wedding, keeping the suite for the bridal party to stay in after the event. 

Your jaw almost dropped when the car finally pulled into the venue. You had been there before, a few times actually, over the last two summer breaks with Lewis, trying to finally decide. But now… now it was snowing, a winter wonderland surrounding the manor that had been deemed a castle by almost everyone around you and you couldn’t help but agree. A castle had been a dream of yours as a kid but never something you found realistic as an adult, safe to say realistic wasn’t in Lewis’ vocabulary when it came to your wedding. You had been watching Downton Abbey for the third time one night and made an offhand joke to Lewis about how you should get married at Highclere Castle, from then on he had made it his mission to find something that fit the bill. His first thought had been the castle itself but it hadn’t been an option, instead he found a place just outside of London that you had never heard of, something your wedding planner had never even seen, it was perfect. It was large and regal but still fit with both of your styles, allowing it to be decorated with a fine line of modernity and tradition. 

When you pulled up to the front door it looked as though you had stepped into a movie, the snow painting the perfect backdrop despite your hesitance. You hadn’t been sure about a winter wedding but Lewis was impatient and winter was his favorite season. He had done so much of what you had dreamed of that you couldn’t help but agree, knowing it didn’t matter when or where you got married, as long as it ended with him.

Charlotte was quickly ushering you and your mother inside and out of the cold. The entrance was bustling with people moving flower arrangements, chairs, tables, everything you had asked for being set up right in front of your eyes. Charlotte was pulling you down the hallway to your left before you had a chance to even take it all in.

“I’m sorry, I know I’m rushing around but you can relax the second we get you into the bridal suite. I promise.” She was apologizing from in front of you while you tried to keep up with her brisk pace, your mom close behind you.

“Are we late?” You couldn’t help but ask, feeling nervous all over again.

“No , we’re perfectly on time, but the damn men are early and I will be damned if Lewis wins and sees you before you’re at the altar.” Her voice is serious and you can’t help but laugh out loud. It truly isn’t that big of a deal to you but the moment you mentioned it being part of the plan Charlotte and Miles made it their top priority for the day of the wedding.

“It’s really not that big of a deal.” You continue to laugh at Charlotte as she slows down once you’ve reached the doors of the suite. Secretly you wouldn’t mind a quick hello, or even just a glimpse at his beautiful face, but she was determined.

“It’s part of the plan therefore we will be sticking to it, everything will be exactly how you want it today.” Her voice is stern before she opens the door to the suite and welcomes you in.

You’re immediately welcomed by the crew you had hired to take care of everyones hair and makeup. You had spent a while choosing the perfect team and had been in touch with them frequently over the last few months and the familiar faces made you excited. Charlotte tells you to take a seat on the plush couch off to the side and makes her way over to talk with the crew, making sure everything is taken care of for you. Your mom comes to join you on the couch, mimosas in hand with a shocked look on her face, acting as if she doesn’t know where they came from. You giggle as you happily take one from her hand while someone sets food on the small table in front of you, immediately reminding you of how hungry you were back at the hotel.

“You should have something to eat, even if it’s just a nibble. You have some time before you need to start getting ready.” Your mom tells you softly, gesturing towards the spread sitting in front of you.

You nod, leaning forward to grab a pastry as you watch Charlotte in amusement, animated as ever while she gets everyone and everything organized. You take a moment to sit in silence, well as silent as it can be with people bustling about, letting yourself take it all in. You continue to eat as much as you feel you can keep down before someone is suggesting you get in your robe. When you come back from the changing room there are many more people in the room, everyone finally arrived and ready to get ready. You had decided to keep the wedding parties small on both sides. You had Charlotte as your maid of honor, your cousin who had become a sister to you over the years, and your childhood best friend. Miles was Lewis’ best man, Nicolas, and Daniel. Your mom was getting ready with you as well as Linda, Carmen and Lewis’ sisters.

As you sat in the chair watching your hair transform, joking and laughing with your stylist Javier, you took in the sight around you through the mirror. Both families and friends blending into one big happy group, laughing together and sharing mimosas. You were thrilled at the thought of everyone becoming one large family, beyond excited for the next chapter of your life.

“Ladies! I need to say something before everyone starts with their makeup,” Charlottes voice commanded the room getting everyone's attention, “thank you! Okay, I just need to start by saying Y/N, I love you so much and I am so beyond thrilled that you are marrying my second best friend,” she sends you a wink as you both laugh with Lewis not even in the room to defend his decade long friendship, “he is like a brother to me and you very quickly became my little sister. That being said, I want to stress to every one that today is supposed to be perfect and WE are going to make sure it is,” her words are firm as she gestures around the room to your bridesmaids, “these two mean the absolute world to me and after everything it took to get them to this point I will not settle for ‘okay’, we’re looking for perfection.”

“Char, it’s-” You try to stop her, feeling like she’s making far too big a deal out of your day.

“Nope, Y/N, let me say this, you deserve it.” She shushes you before continuing, “I want everyone to have an absolute blast but most importantly I NEED Y/N and Lewis to have the best day of their lives. Annoying guest? Figure it out. Issue with the rings? Find me or Miles. Trouble with your dress? Suck it up, today isn’t about us.” Her voice is that of a strict teacher as she lectures your family and friends and you can’t help but roll your eyes and laugh before the comment about the rings latches on to your brain, “Y/N, babe, I love you so much and I am so happy for you. You are marrying the best human I know, well second to you of course, and I cannot wait to see the life that you two create together, I know it will be magical. Cheers everybody!”

You barely even register the sweet words she directs at you as she finishes her speech, your body working on auto pilot to raise you mimosa for her toast. The moment she sees the look on your face she’s rushing over to you.

“Hon, what’s wrong? You look worried.”

“What’s wrong with the rings? They’re here, right? They look correct? Nothing’s broken? You said there’s a problem with the rings, what's the problem?” You rush out your new concerns, not taking a moment to think once she’s in front of you.

“What? No, no, everything’s fine. Why would there be a problem with the rings?” She asks you confused for a moment before the realization dawns on her face, “Oh sweetie that was just an example, everything is totally fine. It’s exactly like we talked about, I have your band and Miles has Lewis’, I even texted him when we got here to make sure he had it. Do you want to see yours? I have it in my bag, I can go grab it.” Her words of reassurance are rushed as she tries to calm the new anxiety fluttering through your mind.

“No, oh my god, sorry, I just…” You shake your head, wanting to laugh at yourself for becoming so panicked so quickly, “I think my brain just blacked out after I heard ‘issue with the rings’, I don’t know why I let that freak me out so much.”

“It’s okay, you have a lot going on and this is a big deal, don’t worry about it, it’s what I’m here for.” Charlotte calms you, rubbing your forearm as she squats in front of your chair.

“Alright beautiful bride! Ready to make that gorgeous face even better?” Javier’s voice comes excitedly from behind you, rubbing your shoulders as he tries to coax you to turn around so he can start on your makeup.

You take a deep breath, the reality of the day settling into the pit of your stomach, before turning around, ready to be transformed. You’ve had him do this look on you numerous times, wanting to make sure it was exactly what you wanted and you trust his skills, but still the underlying anxiety refuses to leave you. You had opted for a more natural look, similar to what you would do on the day to day but elevated, you wanted to look like yourself, like the you that Lewis fell in love with. As you sat in the chair being pampered, listening to people bustle around behind you, a billion new scary thoughts and anxieties swarmed through your head.

You know you’re making the right choice, there is no one in the universe better made for you than Lewis and no one who you could love or love you more than him. You know everything is taken care of and planned to your liking, but you didn’t place each flower or taste every dish prepared today. You know all of the most important people in your life RSVP’d yes, but you haven’t laid eyes on them today, you don’t know if they’ve arrived on time. Every single detail that has been a stress in the back of your mind for the last year has now become the only thing you can think about. You’re trying so hard to let them slip to the background, to stay in the moment, enjoy the laughter of your bridal party and the random chatter from Javier, but it doesn’t work.

Your mom is the first to notice, seeing you with a furrowed brow and your eyes shut tight as Javier steps away to grab something.

“Sweetie, what’s wrong?” She asks quietly, her hand resting on your shoulder, giving it a tight squeeze.

The sound of her voice almost brings you to tears and you can’t quite explain why. You look at her through the mirror, noticing the deep concern on her face.

“Everyone wants it to be so perfect, what if it isn’t? I asked everyone to travel so far and what if it lets them down. The Hamilton wedding is supposed to be THE event, what if it’s not right or something goes wrong or it isn’t what people were expecting?” You ramble so quietly you’re worried she won’t be able to hear you.

“Oh, my sweet girl,” She says through a pout, wrapping her arms around your shoulders and meeting you cheek to cheek, “not an ounce of what you just said matters, I know you’re nervous but don’t stress yourself. Today is supposed to be one of the best days of your life, not because of how fancy it is or what caterer you hired, but because you are marrying a man that will love you, protect you, and take care of you for the rest of your life. I know that it feels like it’s all about the party and the flair, but today you are taking a step for you and Lewis and that is all that matters, you are building your life with an amazing man who would move mountains for you and that is all that matters. All you have to worry about is making it to the end of the aisle, saying I Do, and kissing your husband. We’re all just lucky that we get to witness it.”

“Fuck,” you breathe out with a dry laugh, “you’re right. It’s just so much.”

“Just keep reminding yourself that that beautiful man is going to be legally yours till death do you part.” She laughs before kissing your cheek, lightening your mood as you picture his perfect face. While her words do ease your nerves a new very important thought pops into your head, a new non-negotiable.

“Charlotte.” You call out urgently, aware of your time crunch.

“I’m here, what do you need?” She asks quickly, rushing to your side like a lady in wait.

“Lewis,” You start, watching as her eyebrows shoot up in a disapproving look, “no I know, I won’t look at him or let him look at me, I just need to squeeze his hand and hear his voice, I promise.”

She still doesn’t look quite convinced as you plead with her, “Y/N, no seeing Lewis was a very hard rule from day one of wedding planning. Are you sure?”

“Char, please, figure out a way so I don’t see him, we’ll stick to the rules but he’s been there to calm me down and make sure I’m okay for every major thing in my life for a more than half a decade and I don’t know about you but I’d say this is a pretty major thing! It won’t be any worse than me talking to him last night, I swear.” You plead with her, grabbing her hands, suddenly very set on needing to at least speak to Lewis before walking down the aisle.

“Okay, okay, yes, I will make it happen, but before you get into your dress, just in case, gimme a sec.” She agrees as her face softens, seeing your desperation, realizing that she too would need Lewis for a moment before something this big. He may be your lover, your fiance, the man you are about to spend the rest of your life with, but at the core he is your best friend, the man that has been there for you since you showed up at game night years ago, your other half.

Charlotte quickly leaves the room after squeezing your hand and telling Javier he can start working again. You assume she’s headed to find Miles, or she’s gone straight to Lewis. You start to get anxious yet again that you may be causing Lewis anxiety, you should have told her to tell him that you’re fine and just being selfish, remembering the moment of fear you had last night when he had called you.

You’re not sure how long it takes her but once your makeup is finished she has returned and is requesting for you to follow her. You feel silly walking out of the suite with pinned hair and your robe on but all you can think about is talking to Lewis, eager to hear his voice as if you’ve just started dating. Charlotte ushers you down a hallway to an empty room with a door on the other side. You’re far enough away from everyone that the noise has quieted and you can subsequently feel your brain calming down, realizing just how overstimulated you’ve been for the last few hours. Charlotte guides you to the far wall of the room, next to the door frame, turning you to back up against it before gently knocking on the door. It takes only a second for the door to open, Miles’ smiling face appearing next to you.

“Well hello beauty, you look fucking incredible.” He says before leaning in to kiss your cheek.

“It’s not fair that I don’t get to see her.” You hear your fiance whine from the other side of the wall, making you giggle and your cheeks warm.

“All in due time brother, you’re the lucky one though, you get to see her at the altar.” Miles says teasingly, leaning back through the door to look at Lewis before coming back to you, “So I have your fiance here as requested. Char and I will give you guys some privacy.”

“Thank you Miles, I’m sorry if this is a pain, I just needed a minute.” You tell him, reaching out to squeeze his arm.

Before he can respond, Miles is bursting out into a laugh, “Love, this was a help on my end, mans has been so annoyed that he hasn’t been allowed to see you all day, he hasn’t shut up about you once. Enjoy, you evidently both need it.” He says as his laughter begins to die down, sending a disapproving look into the room behind you where you assume Lewis is giving him the same back. “You guys have five minutes, and absolutely no peeking.”

“We won’t.” You and Lewis both promise in unison, making both of you giggle as Charlotte and Miles walk away to another room to give you your privacy.

“I mean it!” Miles turns around to yell, still walking backwards as he points his finger at you, “ I will know just by the look on bruvs face if he caught a glimpse of you, don’t you dare.”

“We’ll be good, I promise. Thank you guys!” You yell back at him as they disappear through a nearby door.

“Hey you.” You hear Lewis’ soft voice after a moment, your heart swelling just upon hearing the recognizable timbre.

“Hi.” You squeak, forgetting everything you had wanted to say when you asked Charlotte to make this happen.

“Are you okay?” He asks you, his voice filled with concern and care.

“Yes, oh my god yes,” You start, your anxiety of concerning him coming back tenfold, “I’m so sorry, I just, I don’t know, I was getting really anxious and then I realized that I haven’t had a big moment in life without you either being right there or calling me for like more than five years and then I got worried that I wouldn’t make it through something like this without talking to you first, which is silly because I know I’m literally preparing myself to marry you, like I’m going to see you at the altar in like an hour but I don’t know, my mom said all this stuff about how amazing you are trying to calm my nerves and then I realized I absolutely had to at least talk to you and I’m sorry if you were busy, I’m not trying to be needy, you just calm me and this day is so much and there's so much going on and it has to be perfect and-” Your words are rushed, not thinking them through as you ramble to him, not stopping to even take a breath.

“Y/N,” Lewis cuts you off, his voice firm but gentle, “it’s okay, please take a breath.”

You drop your head, almost embarrassed by how calm he sounds with the emotions swirling around in your head at the moment. You listen to his request and take a deep breath, trying to calm your breathing and your mind.

“Good, now another.” He instructs you calmly as you feel his hand sneak around the door frame and brush your hip.

The moment you see his skin you reach down and grasp his hand firmly, needing him to ground you as you take yet another deep breath.

“I’m sorry.” You whisper as you squeeze his hand, trying to breathe like he wants you to.

“Baby, you have nothing to be sorry for,” He starts softly, squeezing your hand just as firmly, “I know this whole thing is a lot and there’s so much going on, but none of that is important. I don’t give a fuck how anything goes as long as I get to end the night married to you, that’s all that matters today,” His voice is soft as he assures you, washing over you like a warm blanket before it turns cheeky as he adds, “well I also want to see you in that dress and obviously whatever you have underneath it.”

You want to laugh and cry at the same time, amused by how easily a stupid (yet serious) comment could lift your spirits, simply because it came from him. Amazed that the same sentiment that has been spoken to you by everyone around you with no avail, could take a burden off your chest simply because they came from his mouth.

“I love you so much Lew.” You reply, squeezing his hand so hard you’re worried you’ll hurt him, trying to fight back tears as you do.

“I love you so much my sweet girl and I will tell you just how much when you meet me at the altar. You’ve changed my life, you’ve made me a better man, a better human, you’ve made me happier than I knew was even possible and I want nothing more than to marry you today. I don’t care how that happens, if you want to run away right now and head to vegas we can, at the end of the day I just want you. You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me and nothing matters besides us. This whole castle could burn down right now and as long as I still had you I truly would not care. I love you so much and today is going to be incredible no matter what happens, but I bet you nothing will go wrong because we planned it and we’re pretty amazing.” He sealed his words with a kiss to the back of your hand, chuckling as he finished. His lips on your skin gave you a whole new sense of confidence and ignited a fire in the pit of your stomach.

You wished so badly that you could see him, that you could properly kiss him, but you reminded yourself that you were close to the finish line, that he would be all yours soon.

“I love you too, so so much, thank you for this, I’m sorry if I interrupted, I just needed to hear your voice and be close to you.” You admit to him with a sigh as you lean back against the wall.

“You’re never an interruption, whenever you need me I’m here, always. Besides, Miles wasn’t lying, I’ve been going crazy since we left the rehearsal dinner wanting to see you, touch you, kiss you, talk to you, literally anything. I know we’ve gone weeks apart from each other but everything feels different right now.” He tells you, making you smile, that you're not completely alone in your desperation. You take a moment, leaning against the wall in silence as you hold his hand, letting your nerves wash away.

“Alright, love birds! Time to go get fancy and hit the altar!” Miles’ voice cuts through your moment as he hollers and claps, returning to the room.

You let out a sigh, wishing your moment with Lewis could continue but reluctantly begin to move away from the wall. Before you can get too far, he is gripping your hand and pulling you back to place a kiss on your hand before leaving a lingering kiss on your pulse point.

“I love you Y/N, just come meet me at the altar. Nothing else matters.” His words are muttered into the skin of your wrist before he finally lets you go and Charlotte is ushering you away back to your suite as Miles stands guard making sure Lewis doesn’t cheat and sneak a peek at you.

“Feeling better?” Char asks as you make your way down the hall.

“So much better, I feel perfect.” You say through a smile, meaning it wholeheartedly, “ I’M GETTING MARRIED!”

[dovveri]

aftermath

bachelorette masterlist - part 1 ▸ part 2 ▸ part 3 ▸ part 4 ▸ part 5 ▸ part 6

synopsis: the finale! and then the afterparty :')

warnings: suggestive, cursing, sana kisses a fictional man im sorry

w/c: 2.9k

a/n: surprise! double feature release! bcs theyre both quite short compared to the other chapters and i lwk just wanted to close this series and be done with it - im v happy w and vvvv grateful for all the support ive received w this - it was my first ever published fic and 36.7k words later im pretty happy w how it ends :)) stay healthy and safe!! mwah <3

⊱✿⊰

true to her word, sana ended up telling everyone that she had gained feelings for you during the filming experience. you had wanted to go with her but she insisted it would be easier for those who had gained feelings for her to accept it if you weren't there. so you were stuck at home, twiddling your thumbs watching reruns of the last few episodes anxiously waiting for her to come home.

you're up in seconds when you hear the door click open softly, rushing to greet her.

"hey! how'd they take it?"

sana's a little surprised to see you in such a hurry, but recovers quickly, smiling and tilting your chin down to peck you sweetly.

"hello to you too. they were okay." you help her organise her things as she settles in, "jihyo was obviously eliminated after house visits like i promised i'd do. i still have a soft spot for her but it was easier to talk to the other three when she wasn't there, probably because i could get my entire story across uninterrupted. unfortunately, jiwon decided to forfeit herself after the news which she has every right to do. the producers are going to mark it off as a family emergency and say she can no longer participate in the filming."

"oh... and the other two?"

"momo took it pretty hard, but jacky seemed to already have a clue what was going on. they both agreed to stay on until the end of the season though. i still feel terrible for having to put them through this, especially the last 2 dates with each of them, knowing that they don't have a chance with me anymore..."

"hey, it's okay. they agreed to stay right? they're being good friends right now and feeling bad or sorry for them and not giving it your all for the last few days isn't going to be helpful for them."

she sighs, "you're right. after all this craziness is over i'll definitely try and do something for them."

you smile, pecking her temple, "and i'll help you."

⊱✿⊰

because there were no more group dates, and the season would end after the final 2 dates and the decision sana makes, you weren't really needed for the filming of the rest of the season.

so most of your time was spent at home, lounging around in the pool or in the kitchen while sana was out on extravagant dates not with you, and completely bored out of your mind.

at nights, you'd bound excitedly up to sana and find out what adventure she went on, completely attached to her, even sitting on top of the toilet seat while she was in the shower so you were never apart. the seperation anxiety for just a few hours was definitely something that caught you a little off guard but after spending practically every minute together while filming, combined with your newfound romantic love for her, you couldn't bear being apart from her.

soon enough, the final day of filming came. it was set in this beautiful meadow with flower strands that reached mid-calf. sana was in the most perfect sundress, like she belonged in the meadow, like she was aphrodite herself born not from the sea, but the flowers.

typically, the final choice is snapped together with flashy editing between tension building scenes of sana walking up to both of the final contestants in two different settings. they filmed her rejection shot the day before already, so there wasn't much suspense watching as sana walked through the meadow towards her final choice. not that there needed to be, you were enthralled enough just being able to take in the breathtaking view that was minatozaki sana, just imagining it was you she was walking gently towards.

but it wasn't. and the mindless chatter of the cameras and crew served to remind you that again, you had to stand in the background while the love of your life confessed to someone that wasn't you. no amount of reassurance from her would be able to get the feeling of utter despair out of you.

⊱✿⊰

sana walks forward with a gentle, rehearsed smile.

"hi."

"hey sana."

"how are you feeling?"

"could be better. i'm either about to have my heart broken in front of the entirety of korea and my family back home or i'm about to be able to call the most beautiful girl on the planet my girlfriend. pretty big moment."

sana giggles, "welll... jacky... regardless of the outcome-"

"oooooh that word's not a great sign is it?"

she hushes him, "shhh, just let me finish. jacky... the time on this show, the time you've given me, has been absolutely incredible. from the first time i met you with your charming smile and lively wit, it was hard to forget your dual entrance with eunji, both of you looking absolutely dapper in your suits. and then on our individual date, you dared to go on that hot air balloon at the asscrack of dawn to watch the sunrise with me, and even though i'm not totally sure if you did see it or not, the fact that you went up there, and you overcame that fear, it was so inspiring and courageous of you. it was that moment that really made me realise the kind of person you were, and the courage, and fun you'd bring into a relationship, and even to a family in the future. that is... if you wanted to officially become my boyfriend?" she finishes her piece with a shy smile, a strand of hair falling cinematically over her face while she peers up at him under her eyelashes.

jacky gapes a little, and then he's grinning, hoisting her up in a whoop and spinning her around on the spot, stopping finally to plant his lips on hers.

when they break apart, they both have the widest smiles on their faces, eyes glowing in adoration of each other.

"yes! yes of course i'd be honoured sana! i hope to spend the rest of our lives together until we grow old and wrinkly and our kids have to come dote on us in the retirement home while we annoy them with how unbelievably cute we are even in our old age. and i look forward to watching reruns of our season and being able to show our kids how absolutely gorgeous their mom looked and how incredibly lucky i got being able to be the one at the end of it all!"

there are happy tears and more kisses, hugs, and spins, and with that, the bachelorette season for 2024, is officially over.

⊱✿⊰

"eugh, did you seriously kiss him?"

sana throws the popcorn at you playfully, "yes but it was all planned babe and you're a way better kisser anyway."

"show me."

"oh i will." sana grins, sliding into your lap, pushing the bag of popcorn aside, lips immediately finding yours while the credits for the final bachelorette episode run in the background.

you smile into the kiss, hands finding their place naturally on her waist while her hands cup your face, tilting her head slightly to angle the kiss better.

she breaks away with an over-exaggerated smack that has you rolling your eyes and wiping at your lips in mock disgust.

"so now that the final episode is out... are we allowed to be seen in public together yet?" you're voice is whiny, pleading with her.

she coos, "my little babyy, i thought you weren't big on pda?"

"well i'm not but i'm sick of everyone thinking that you're with someone that's not me!"

sana giggles, "just think how this is for jacky right now. poor eunji..."

you scoff, "eunji will be fine. she's never been one to care about what the public thinks anyway."

"everyone says that but no-one is immune to societal pressure." she boops your nose with her finger gently, "but to answer your question, yes. we'll be able to go public soon i promise. and soon enough the tabloids will get bored of me and move on to the next big celebrity or whatever anyways so it'll be fine. now c'mon, we gotta get ready for the reunion, get your cute lil butt into your fit for the night."

you groan, pulling her back down when she tries to move off of you, "nooooo one more movie?"

sana laughs, pushing you out of her neck, "absolutely not. i'm not gonna be the only star for tonight, this time we're both gonna be the centre of attention, and we cannot be late! i swear if we don't get ready now you're sleeping here on the couch tonight."

"what?! you wouldn't!"

"i would."

"you couldn't survive without cuddles anyway."

"i can replace you with mr. bean."

"not my arch nemesis... i knew winning that bear for you was a bad decision... i'll rip off his stuffed head..."

sana laughs freely, "as if winning was a decision for you. you went back to that stall like 6 times."

"i should've left him there the 5th time..."

"nope! so if you don't want me getting all close and personal with him tonight you're gonna come get ready now with no funny business."

she stands up and you let her, your hands still attached as she pulls you up as well.

you smirk, "what funny business? i never pull any funny business!"

"yeah like the time you fucked me in a bathroom while everyone was waiting for us outside to start filming for national television. and then did it again at a public amusement park like a week later."

"i don't recall you saying no."

"well i'm saying no funny business now."

"okaaaaaayyyyy." you grin, fingers crossed behind your back while you follow her to your room to get dressed.

⊱✿⊰

"y/n!"

"miyeon oh my god!"

miyeon's running towards you with her arms outstretched, easily wrapping them around you the moment she sees you.

you laugh into her, hand still held in sana's while you greet her.

"sana too hi!"

miyeon breaks away from you easily, going in to hug your girlfriend with her everlasting friendliness.

"how are you guys!? i heard through the grapevine that after the filming ended you were finally able to get together officially, even though you kinda had to keep it on the down low so it wasn't like publicly official but it's a step further?"

you laugh, "awwwh yeah you heard right, but now that the show is officially over..." you bring you and sana's intertwined hands up to your lips, kissing her knuckles, "we can say we're officially together!"

miyeon squeals happily, "yay! i'm so happy for both of you. really. no jealousy sana?"

sana laughs as well, hitting miyeon playfully, "noo don't remind me."

"oh i'm afraid it's permanent now. unless they burn every single copy of this season the day you broke my heart is forever recorded in history."

"oh god... y/n... swear to me you'll never show this to our kids."

"can't do that babe. gotta show them their mom in her prime. the sweetheart of korea at one point in her life."

"just one point?"

"sweetheart of mine for my whole life obviously."

sana grins, kissing you cheesily, miyeon doesn't even mind, simply happy to see both her friends together.

"are jacky and eunji here?" you ask miyeon when you break away with a smile.

"i haven't seen them but i also haven't said hi to everyone yet. c'mon let's go!" she leads you into the garden where the party's being hosted.

you and sana are attached by the hip, if one of you has to let go of the other's hand, another body part will eventually replace it, your skin contact is constant, never parting from one another while you greeted all the old contestants.

some were still a little surprised to see that sana had come with you in hand and not with jacky, but she explained what happened patiently, apologising for the confusion.

"jacky! eunji!" sana spots them first, calling them out.

you grin at the sight of them, wearing matching suits, hand in hand, waving them down.

"hey couple of the hour! how are you guys faring tonight?"

"oh says you. finally got the girl jacky?"

jacky blushes, "crazy how things turned out right? just two sets of best friends realising they're in love with each other and not the person they're both dating. kinda lucky it turned out that way so we could fake that finale sana. it's just a shame for momo..."

"yeah i felt terrible especially after all she did with that home visit in japan. but i talked to her after filming ended and we actually get along really well as friends, we have so much more in common and so much more to talk about when we're not in a controlled environment like the filmset!"

"you guys talking about me?"

you turn in a flash, surprised but excited to see momo coming up behind you.

"momoring!"

sana goes in for a hug first, which momo gladly returns with a giggle.

"hi everyone. it's nice to see you all again outside of the filming."

"of course! it's great to see you again too. how have you been holding up?"

"oh alright. i was contacted already to be on the next season of bachelor in paradise which is always just a massive orgy i swear, so i won't be going on, but i heard jiwon accepted a place!"

sana pouts, "i hope jiwon's okay... she's the only finalist i haven't talked to since breaking the news. i thought it'd be too soon to reach out to her after she left..."

"you talked to me right?" momo playfully nudges sana's shoulder, "jiwon's doing better. she's happy for you both, really. and she's getting her second chance so there's really nothing she's complaining about."

sana smiles gratefully, "i'm glad."

momo turns her attention to the other couple, "and jacky, eunji! i can't believe you guys got together in the end! i mean i was pretty oblivious in the house but nayeon always swore there was something between you two. guess she was right."

eunji laughs, "it came as a surprise to the both of us as well. i guess we just spent so much time together in the house that it was a lot like old times and then when seeing each other go off with sana and realising we weren't jealous of each other but jealous of sana, well that did it!"

"this entire thing is honestly just a mess of feelings. i don't know how you guys do it as contestants. i had a hard enough time not even being a part of the competition."

"to be fair you did kinda insert yourself in pretty heavily when you started sleeping with sana."

"hey!"

there's laughs and teasing all round. the night goes on like this, in the company of people you've grown easily close to in a very short amount of time, and holding hands with the woman you fell in love with.

⊱✿⊰

"sana, y/n, can i steal you both for a minute?"

you both turn, surprised to see jihyo there, looking a little sheepish. you squeeze sana's hand, looking to her for confirmation. she nods, clearing her throat, "yeah. sure jihyo."

jihyo leads you to a quieter clearing, then stands in front of the both of you, eyes on the ground, awkwardly rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet.

"i just wanted to say i'm sorry for how i acted the last time we saw each other. i was jealous and petty for bringing sungbin and i wanted to throw sana off her game so that she'd admit she was in love with you on national television. i went into it wanting to embarass sana and i'm sorry."

sana sighs, gripping your hand reassuringly, "we know. it's okay jihyo. i'm sorry about how it went down between us. i do hope you find the right person one day."

jihyo looks up then, "thank you. really. and it probably doesn't mean a lot coming from me but i am glad the two of you ended up finding each other. she makes you happier than i've ever seen you sana. i genuinely hope for all the best for the both of you."

"thank you jihyo." sana smiles at you then, and you return it softly. "she does make me really happy."

"after some time... maybe you could both come by again? my siblings and my parents miss you lots and i'd like to make it up to both of you for the last time you were there."

"we'd love to. thank you jihyo."

jihyo smiles gratefully, bowing and leaving the two of you alone.

sana sighs, turning to you and looping her arms around your neck.

"you okay?"

she hums, closing her eyes and pressing her forehead against yours. "never better."

you giggle, stealing a quick kiss, "the headlines are gonna get pretty crazy once they get wind of the current couples."

"let them have their drama. all i need is you."

"cheesy."

"you love it."

"i love you."

"i love you too." she grins, bringing you into another kiss, sealing the love you have for each other between your lips.

[eccentricallygothic]

|| Triumph Of The Beast ||

Description: Captain Syverson learnt that the only way to have her was to ask her hand in marriage. So he did just that. And she was all his now, both to hold and to possess.

Pairing: Soft-Dark!Captain Syverson | Sheikha!Reader.

Disclaimer: I (sadly) do not own Captain Syverson. This is a mature story with dark undertones so kindly browse at your own discretion. Please note that this piece is only a work of fiction that in no way aims to reinforce or propose any stereotypes to any ethnicity or race. Minors do not interact. 

Warning(s): Soft-Dark!Syverson, he is lowkey messed up, smut with plot (I am sorry), possessive behavior, his obsession with her chastity, naive!reader, size kink, biting (it's Henry and his canines ffs), boob play, manhandling, power imbalance, arranged marriage, fingering, handjob, dirty talk, m!dom, f!sub, he's a man, misogyny, age gap (reader is 20's, Sy is early 40's fight me), he's lowkey intimidating, slight spanking, allusion to bondage, manipulation, slow burn-ish, maybe more dialogue than necessary, p-in-v penetration, corruption kink, no use of 'Y/n'. 

Note: Her father is not the mean Sheikh from the movie lmfao. Reader doesn't even have to be Iraqi, just Eastern that you can TOTALLY imagine yourself as because it's a frickin' story for God's sake! Ps, This blocked me so hard mid-write I nearly abandoned it lmfao, I need a break! 

.

Captain Syverson had always thought the notion of the first touch buzz to be foolish. To quote him in his own words, the electric touch that people claimed their beloved aroused within them was nothing more than a steaming pile of horseshit. 

Until now. 

As his thick and coarse battle hardened hands cupped the side of the tender face of his dear wife, the Captain's thumb darted out to quickly glide across the perfect arch of her cheekbone before it moved down to the bow of her lips, his body combusting into a thousand flames of raw desire. 

Her skin was so tender he feared it may come off if he pressed on it too hard. The structure of her body that adorned her traditional wedding attire seemed so fragile in this moment next to him and in his big old bed that the thought of ever manhandling a thing as delicate as her terrified him. The contrast of her usually confident and intelligent countenance was striking in quality to the humility with which she now offered her submission to him. 

His suspicions against his body and strength increased by the passing minute; he felt petrified to even breathe too easily near her. The fear that it may damage her in some way haunted him and filled his lungs with dread. It was not that she was the most petite thing that he had ever seen or she held resemblance to an adolescent in terms of size or any of that weird shit, no. 

It was instead the way in which her head bowed in just the perfect way so it indicated respect and submission; not so high that it would seem that she was trying to deny him his station but not so low that it became off-putting. It was an acknowledgement to his power in their dynamic; an agreement of a lifetime. 

The man could swear he was going crazy. 

There was simply no way he was going to make it through the night with his sanity intact. 

It was just the effect she had on him. 

If there was anyone to blame it was her. 

Because even though he wanted to hide this girl so safely in his arms for the rest of his days that not even a harsh breeze would be allowed to touch her, the erratic way in which his boiling blood sizzled its way through his veins, The Captain wanted nothing more than to just turn her around, press her breathtaking face into the mattress and take her over and over until she was swell with his litter. 

Or press his bigger body against hers and take her deep and raw until her mind gave up on consciousness  

Perhaps place her between his own legs and feel her mouth around him until his seed spilled from her nose. 

Maybe make her mount him and slap her ass that he just knew would be perfect over and over to keep her going even when she didn't want to. 

The possibilities were endless from where Syverson was standing. 

And he was determined to try his hand at all of them, and more. 

His eyebrows furrowed just a little when she awkwardly pecked his lips for the fifth time in a straight row and refused to give him more, cringing away when he attempted to deepen the kiss. The girl that giggled and covered her mouth on which her red lipstick had already smudged was a dead leaf echo of the confident and liberal sheikha -prized daughter of the sheikh supreme- that critically watched the foreign Captain everytime he was around with her bright and vigilant brown eyes so full of scrutiny that it made him, a grown man, blush. It wasn't his fault, really. Her eyes had the most attractive gleam of intelligence to them and the black khol that lined them only accentuated their beauty more. 

She had always been so elegant Syverson knew he was a goner the first time his eyes had been granted the pleasure of looking at her. Sat aside her father basking in her confidence, silk scarf draped around her head and body in the most perfect way, a form he could only describe as agreeable always clad in decent clothes, fingers adorning rings with colorful stones and modesty dripping off of every single mannerism of hers. 

How could a man not look twice?

And then not consider looking away utterly blasphemous on account of being unappreciative of such godly beauty?

"I- I do not know how to…" Her accent turned his gears just right. "K- Kiss, Captain" oh. 

Of course. 

Blood rushed to his cock that hadn't throbbed like this in a long time. That was, if it ever had. 

And then his sweet, chaste wife just had to call him Captain.

Fuck. 

He was going to tear her apart. 

And she had no idea.

The obedient daughter, who was never afraid to voice her thoughts and outsmart every man who dared stand against her with inadequate knowledge of the debate at hand, had happily bowed down to her father's wish that she marry the charming and noble Captain -to them a warrior who was not afraid to fight for his country; a man truly admirable- after said Captain had asked for her hand in marriage when he had realized that that was the only way to have her. 

Mind, body, soul… heart. 

Sure, it had taken Syverson and his rather daft attempts at impressing her some quick-witted answers and astute responses by a rather critical her to realize it.

But she was his bride now.

And that was all that mattered. 

"Well, ain't that just dandy?" Syverson realizes just how heavy his breathing really is when his words come out gravelly and almost forced. She is unable to hold his eyes for very long so she stares at his chest instead, a most remarkable coy smile across her lips. The fact that she looks every other man with a taught unaffected sternness but has blushed everytime their eyes have met after the wedding just drives him all the more insane. 

Her dark eyebrows furrow as she lightly tilts her head to the side. He has noticed that she has some trouble understanding his dialect. So he caresses her cheek again, this time in a reassuring manner;

"I know you'll figure it out soon. You're a clever lil' thing, ain'tcha?" She looks up just long enough to nod with a meeting of their eyes. 

"Yes, Captain" god, even her way of speaking has softened.

The knowledge that he was the only man in this whole wide world whom she treated like this made him want to worship her with his love and devotion in every way possible. 

Because The Captain was naturally a very possessive man who did not appreciate ran through goods.  

"Alright now, just trust your husband and sit back like a good lil' bride, alright?" It was taking him all of his focus to not just push her back and have his depraved ways with her all night long.

"Y- Yes, Captain." 

"Atta girl," before he leaned back in and brushed his lips against hers just long enough to whisper, "now hush and don'tcha try to keep them pretty lips shut on me" he felt her going breathless against him when his mouth fit against the slot of her parted one perfectly; as though it had been created just for him. 

She did her best to keep up with as much obedience as her modesty would allow her to muster but the sensation of his mouth against hers, the scratch of his coarse beard across her delicate skin, the wetness of his tongue that took its time swiping against her bottom lip and the way that he didn't have to break the kiss to know that she had extended her had in his direction to take a hold of him to deal with the intensity of it all, the sheer desperation with which he reached out his fingers and clutched hers in an affectionate way that also had a territorial tinge to it was all too much for her to handle.

An unfamiliar thrill that she had been a stranger to until this moment began to patter through her bloodstream. Her heart pounded, her sweat glands soaked, her face burnt and her stomach fluttered. 

"Captain" was all she was allowed to whisper in the two second interval the man allowed them to recover their breathing. 

"Well, I'll be damned, darlin'" Syverson husked through rushed kisses as he hurriedly helped her lay down with her attire still intact, both too desperate to strip her and wanting to take her as she was, for tonight she looked the most stunning he had ever seen her. "You're so dang pretty I can't even fathom stayin' off ya now that you're mine" a hush of cold breath rushed past her flush lips as her thick eyebrows drooped upwards in reaction to him dipping his face in the curve of her neck.

"I am all yours to do with whatever you please, my C- Captain" her soft hands flew to grab at his shirt as the foreign sensation of a man's body against her skin sent an electric bolt down her spine. 

His body was heavy above hers as he groaned at her response and grinded his bulge against her covered sex, peppering kisses all over her skin. "God damn, baby. Your mama sure raised you up right, didn't she?" A loud squeak resonated in the air when the new husband simply could not hold back his passion anymore and bit down on the inviting flesh of her shoulder, letting out a stomach churning moan at her taste and squeezing her sides as the smell of her fragrance oils hit his nose. 

"Fuck, baby" it took him all of his willpower and the promise that he could go back for more only easier to part from her. "I can't–" sitting up to kneel over her, Syverson pulled his shirt over his head before tossing it somewhere in the room. "I can't hold back no more" as he leaned back down and placed one hand beside her head to keep himself from suffocating her, the way she looked up at him with wonder, timidity, need, sent a pang of pain to his cock. "Talk to me, darlin'" he gathered her wrists in one hand before placing them above her head, now reaching for the clothed bump on her chest. "You feelin' anything?" A soundless breath left her and she shuddered in such a way that her boobs trembled feverishly. 

"S- Strange… a- and… oh my God!" She had to shut her eyes and turn her head to the side when he suddenly manhandled one of her breasts out of the deep neckline of her wedding night dress. Her hands rushed to cover her chest by instinct but her husband's authoritative swat was much quicker and stronger. 

Syverson chuckled at the defensive gasp she let out, a crazed darkness floating in his eyes as he pinnned her feverish hands out of his way, coarse palm now feeling up her other breast that was freed as he spoke. "Ain't no God 'round these parts tonight, baby. Just me…" His lips enveloped hers in a right and hungry kiss. "'N you" the way she nervously gulped when he pulled back to stare into her eyes only added to the fire in his body. "Say, baby" he trailed gentle kisses down her chin, along her throat and then down to the fluffy cushions of soft flesh dotted with flush, erect nipples in the middle. A surprised cry jutted out of her mouth and her fingernails tried to claw at his hand that confined them above her when he pressed one wet kiss on each nub. "Ain't this just somethin' else?" 

The girl had no idea what possessed her to say what she did, but her hips moved faster than her brain could catch on and her lips worked before reticence could hinder her communication. "I- It is, Captain. T- Thank you" of course she had felt arousal before. Of course she had been wet before. Some of those times she had a certain handsome American Captain to thank for, not that she would ever willingly admit it. But she had never known how to relieve herself of it other than a cold shower. 

Her mother had warned her that not every feeling that transpires in one in times of idleness should be chased and she had listened.

But this was not solitary boredom, this was not a devilish lure, her mother wasn't here and it was her wedding night with a man she was slowly becoming sure she would be able to call her dear husband one day. 

If her husband was kind enough to be considerate about what made her feel what she could only identify as exciting, she deemed it a stupidity to refuse the treatment. 

"Aw, baby" Syverson's hands only part from her breasts so his mouth can greedily latch onto them, his bearded lips pressing all over them before his hand nearly snatches her skirts out of his way since the layers seem to be never ending. "To think that I ain't even begun with ya and you're already thankin' me like a sweet little lady" now his mouth traveled to her stomach and the only word he had for its appearance was perfect. A shudder set in her shoulders when his beard scratched her navel before his teeth softly nibbled away on her skin. 

"W- Would you like me to get up and t- take my clothes off, dear?" God damn.

He really had hit the fucking jackpot. 

"Hold on now, darlin'" he husked as his fingers caressed her nubs, his hot mouth littering its kisses over her skin further down south. "I wanna take you like this first" the readied rise in the middle of her shoulder blades smoothed out and she settled back into the mattress again wordlessly. "Well now, are you gonna be good and keep them arms up high like a good lil' thing or am I gonna have to tie 'em up?" A drawn out moan sounded from deep within her throat when his chin deliberately brushed against her clothed sex, coarse fingers twirling her nipple between them.

Syverson felt an unconscious clench in the muscles of her thighs upon his words finally registering in her clouded mind. "N- No, I- I'll be good, husband. I promise." 

"Atta girl" he praised in a satisfied tone before letting go of her wrists. 

It was after that that his hands roamed free and wild all over her form. The Captain kissed, sucked, nibbled, pinched, groped, licked and bit all to his desire, the growing moans of his bride only encouraging him further. 

"God damn, if these ain't the sweetest damn legs I've ever seen" Syverson licked away the thread of spit that previously connected his mouth to her now bruised hiphone that he had successfully marked as his territory. The fact that no man had ever seen them and the plan that he made to never let anyone do so either was making his ears hot. His sides were becoming sore with need like he was the virgin. 

"And this– fuck, c'mere" he couldn't hold it back anymore. The Captain had always been an ass man and the fact that he was yet to see his wife's backside was making him mad now. Her yelp morphed into a confused giggle when he bundled her ankles in one of his rough hands, having already rid her of her panties, and easily raised both her legs up until her lower half dangling by his hold on her. "Hmmm, I just knew you had a perfect lil' rump stashed in there" his free hand felt her soft cheeks up before he traced his index finger down her crack, cursing at the way they clenched in defense. Then his depravity got the best of him and he wound his hand back and gave a handful of strong blows to her poor behind that started blushing in an instant. 

"Oh– ouch!" Her next nervous giggle made him raise an eyebrow as he divided an ankle between each hand and parted her legs to look down at her. 

"Think this is funny, do you?" The girl quickly stopped herself nervously. "You know who that's for?" He didn't even mind the giggles, if anything they were rather endearing to him. But the timidity in her eyes was way too sweet for him to pass up. She shook her head no. "Bad little girls who make fun of their fellas, that's who." It was the cock hardening way in which her bottom lip wobbled sensitively that dried his throat. 

A young woman once so strong, all commanding and authorative now exposed in such a submissive manner and completely at his mercy. 

"S- Sorry, dear" he hummed, reaching for the mound between her legs to roughly feel her pussy up in blunt gropes. 

"You can consider those as payback for all them times you thought you could get slick with me in front of my boys just 'cause you were the Sheikh's daughter" her eyes widened and she blushed harder than before. 

"I- I–"

"Yes, you" though Syverson's words were crisp, his kiss on her nether lips was tender and perhaps that was the sole reason why she didn't tear up from being reprimanded when she was so vulnerable and hypersensitive like this. "Thought I'd just forget all that brattin' of yours?" 

She had to hurriedly sit up for that one and reach for his hands affectionately. "Oh, no" the pure care in her eyes made his melting heart feel as though it had risen into the sky. "It was only that you were not my husband back then, dear," she tried to make him understand, aware that there were cultural differences that needed overcoming, "mother said good girls owe it to their husbands to treat every other man with a serious attitude and indifference!" 

She was breaking his fucking heart. 

It was officially official. 

Abel Ford Syverson was in love. 

Soul crushing, earth shattering, sky tearing love. 

With a woman who was not only intelligent and gorgeous way past his league but one that respected herself with an unwavering devotion towards her spouse. 

"Well, I'll be damned!" He exclaimed with faux surprise that she did not catch up on, much to his expectation. "So that's what it was all about?" Of course he knew. 

He just liked her to say it.

It boosted his depraved ego just right. 

She apologetically nodded with sincerity. "I swear, my heart." The translation of the endearment caused for his blood to pump through his ears only harder. 

Syverson gave her a small smile before sighing a little. "Well, you see, darlin', it did still hurt my feelings a tad" her eyebrows furrowed in regret so he added just to rub it in that much more; "got me a bit of pride to keep up, y'know?" 

Now she pouted. "I am sorry, love…" Before a bulb went off in her head and she jumped a little to express her excitement, the action causing her naked boobs to jiggle. "Is there a way I can make it up to you?" There. 

"Why, of course!" Fuck, he sounded more eager than a middle schooler. "You gonna have to show that you can make a good little wife" her cheeks flushed as she bit her bottom lip in embarrassment. He continued, aware she was as clueless as a virgin.

Because she was one. 

Syverson loved the thought.

He wished there was a way to preserve it -her- all as it was.  

"Anything you want, my dear" she replied sincerely as she earnestly pressed his hand that she held to her chest. 

The man swallowed the bile that had risen in his throat as his eyes flickered down to where their fingers were intertwined; the valley of her perfect breasts. 

"Good girl" his voice came out much deeper than usual. "Go on 'n' take it out, then" the bride's eyebrows raised to express her confusion as she tilted her head to the side. 

His dick whimpered and spilled a thick drop.

"U- Um…"

Syverson was getting impatient. "That means my pants, darlin'." He chuckled to lighten the effect of the edge that his tone had held. "I mean, can't exactly make love to ya with 'em on, now can I?" Something pulled taught in her chest and she went to avoid his eyes out of embarrassment. 

"Oh… yes" she was breathless as she reached for his fly, face angled downwards. 

"Yeah…?" He drew it out on purpose teasingly, dipping his own head earthwards to try and meet her gaze cockily. "Yeah, yeah?" The man kept going unrelentlessly until she had no choice but to respond. 

"Y- Yes…" Her nervous fingers slipped over the button of his pants many times but she managed to free him at last. 

"Go on ahead now, sugar" he coaxed sweetly, tone in stark contrast to his intentions. "Take it out and let them pretty lil' hands get a feel" her legs instinctively tried to close due to the shame she felt but her husband's huge body hindered her attempt to somehow cover herself. "Well?"

Her eyes darted up to him from where her fingers gingerly rested against the waistband of his boxers and Syverson suspected that she was about to decline because of the way her mouth moved to let out some phantom words. But when he raised a questioning eyebrow in response, she seemed as though it had reminded her of her place against him and she quickly dipped her digits inside the undergarment to reach for his thumping cock. 

The first feel of her fingertips connecting with his hard skin was… indescribable. It was as though time ceased, stilling everything else with it and he was enveloped into a cocoon of pure sensation. She was everywhere and inside. Her heat filled him to the brim. Each brush of her delicate skin against his rougher one felt like the stroke of the flesh of an outworldly nymph. Shivers of ecstacy cascaded down his lower back and he was floating already. 

The girl nearly jumped out of her skin at the unfamiliar feeling, the moan that he let out along a whispered praise pulling her back in the moment and away from her recoil. The bride's mind reminded her of her duty to her husband and she used her other hand to hold his clothes away so she could uncover his impaler. 

"Just like that, darlin'. Just like that" one of his hands went to tangle in her hair. "Go on and rub it for me, baby. You're doin' real good" his free hand reached for her own sex that had secreted its natural moisture in reaction to the sensations she was being subjected to. He groaned at the feeling of her warm pussy and squished his finger through her plump nether lips. "Tell me what you see" her own body was getting feverish by the second, hips and cunt trying to shrink in on themselves due to how violating his sense tingling touch was.

"I- It's…" She raked her mind for an appropriate answer. But it was all too much for her to handle; the pressure to impress her new husband, touching him the way he wanted properly, obeying him, submitting to his handling and then dealing with his intense gaze. "V- Very pretty, husband. Thank you" so she played it the safest she knew. 

And the girl could swear she felt him twitch in her palm at that, a pang of pain rising in her wrist as she awkwardly pumped him in a vertical manner. 

"Pretty, huh?" A cunning grin spread across his handsome features as he slipped one finger deep within her folds and being the retired playboy that he was, the Captain easily found her pure entrance. "'N' what about the size?" He could not help but moan at the feeling of her balmy walls clinging to his finger. "Ever seen anythin' like it?" Her thighs quivered as his thumb glided over her folds. 

"N- No, husband" she answered timidly, afraid to bruise his pride with an inappropriate or unsatisfactory answer that may pose a threat to her chasteness.

"That's right" now he began to speed up his intrusion of her insides. "'Cause you're all mine, ain'tcha?"  She quickly nodded, letting out a whine as her eyebrows furrowed at the ache his twisting of one of her nipples caused. "Now tell me," he leaned forward to reach for one of her nubs with his teeth, "did ya ever think you'd land yourself a fella with a cock this big?" He spoke through a mouthful before sinking down on her tender boobs, the tips of his sharp canines digging into the soft cushions of her flesh. 

"N- No…" The girl was gasping as she struggled to keep up with his leaking and twitching cock. "T- Thank you, dear!" She added for good measure despite how overwhelmed she was becoming. 

"Tell me, baby" the man loved how his naive wife's features scrunched in discomfort but she still sped up her fist that was wrapped around his cock because he prompted her to, hoisting himself further up next to capture her lips against his. "Do you think yourself lucky that you get to have this here cock all to yourself for the rest of your days?" He could not help but fuck into her hand at the sight of the spit string dangling by a corner of her bottom lip as it connected to the wad of spit that she had just released on his cock after being ordered to do so. He felt her cringe at the feeling of her fingers touching her own saliva as she spread it over his cock. But her resolve to obey him did not falter even once regardless of how shy or uneasy she felt.

And that was how Syverson knew he had found himself his perfect little homemaker.

"I- I do, husband" her voice nearly broke. "Thank you so much" the fact that all of this was visibly strange and even uncomfortable to her because she was not familiar with any of this… 

The Captain could swear that alone was enough to finish him off.

She was his sacred lamb; a temple undefiled. 

Nobody's leftovers; whole in every sense for the beast to take. 

What could he say? Colonel Syverson's prized son always won, no matter what. 

There was a brighter way of looking at his promiscuous dating history that was in stark contrast to his wife's nonexistent one; it could easily be considered as his physical sacrifice in order to realize and reach his full potential as a man for his future lady's well being as well as pleasure. 

A lady that he had found at last. 

"Say it" his command was heavy and the rough skin of his finger was like gravel against the buttery tissue of her slick walls. "Say that you're the luckiest lil' bride for landin' yourself the best damn dick you could have ever hoped for" she began to subconsciously move her thumb out of sync with the rest of her digits to swipe it over his tip each time her hand rose to his apex and he couldn't believe just how close he was already. 

The Captain was usually a man of stamina and endurance.

But then again it was impossible for the beast to resist his tempting lamb for very long, wasn't it?

"I- I am the luckiest…" She licked her parched lips needily. "L- Little bride for l- landing myself the best d- dick…" Embarrassment burnt her cheeks but pleasing him was more important a priority to her. "T- That I could've ever hoped for…"

He deeply moaned in satisfaction. "My good girl" a quick peck was given to the tip of her nose. "Now tell me, baby. How ya feelin'?" As if on cue, she clenched around his finger with a moan.  

Fuck, Syverson had never really preferred a clueless woman until now.

He could literally demand whatever he wanted from her and she would believe him out of her naivety. 

His perfect pretzel Princess that he could twist into whatever shape that he pleased. 

Or make her do as he desired, for that matter. 

With no one, not even his wife herself, to question him or his ways.

He loved the thought. 

"... S- Strange… P- Pain… but– hnnn!" Her back arched as she suddenly writhed, nearly going white at the feeling of getting her special spot getting tickled for the first time. It was an ability her husband took a lot of pride in; the  renown that he had held in college for being able to find gspots with his fingers alone. 

"Feels real good too, don't it?" The Captain snickered heavily as he began to rock his hips into her hand, feeling himself nearing the brink. 

"Mmh!" She did her best to respond despite the sensory overload, groaning softly when he forces her band of muscles to expand further by adding another finger to her pussy and repeatedly jabbing her sensitive nerves with their blunt tips, the sound of his skin fucking in and out of her liquids getting louder by the minute. "W- Weird… but…" A drop of sweat trickled down the side of her face as she gasped, eyes widening when her spine jolted at a particular wave of pleasure. "M- More, please." 

In the blink of an eye, Syverson had pushed her on her back before crawling up her body like a predator. Before her body could process his fingers leaving her into an orgasm denial, his eager cock was pushing into her. The pained moan that escaped her as her body twisted under his was muffled by his mouth clamping over hers. The Captain grunted as his cock struggled to push its way inside her virgin entrance despite the preparation that he had done. The girl's bottom lip pulled away from the rest of her mouth due to the way he bit down on it to withstand the overwhelming pleasure that sparked everywhere within him.  

"Your wish is my command, my darlin' sheikha." 

Syverson found himself praying for the first time to any god, deity or entity that may be listening; to freeze time right here in this very moment and never set it free again.

For he could stay like this for eternities and beyond; buried inside his dear wife and protectively enveloped in her loving arms that had never held another like she did him and never would whilst she moaned below him in a pained ecstasy, clenching and nearly knocking out as she experienced her first ever orgasm.

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Reblogs and feedback are much appreciated <3

[alreadyblondenow]

▸ Assassin Jaehyun x Assassin Female reader ▸ Smut, Smut, Smut, Fluff, Angst, Gore, MATURE ▸ JAEHYUN SMUT SERIES: FUCK, MARRY, KILL ▸ VOLUME I: PART 1, PART 2, PART 3

THIS IS PART 3. THIS IS PART 3. THIS IS PART 3.

VOLUME I: PART 2 WORD COUNT: 10,748k

Warnings: THIS FIC IS FICTION ONLY, Smut, smut, smut, MATURE THEMES, Heavy description of killings because most of the characters are assassins, mentions of blood, character death, A LOT OF NCT MEMBERS WILL D WORD IN THIS FIC, unprotected sex, mentions of condoms, mentions of pill, pregnancy, swearing, mentions of alcohol. Mentions of being an orphan, Not everything is proofread, apologies again. Kidnapping, burning of possession, I hope I did not forget anything.

A/N: I will cut VOLUME I into three parts, PART I AND PART II is posted already. Thank you to my readers!!! Im sorry if it took me so long to post a usual. VOLUME 2 will be posted HOPEFULLY BY THE END OF FEBRUARY :( please understand that I want to support Taeyong's second solo album first.

When Jaehyun needed to let go of your hand and allow the doctors to do their job, everything became silent and he never felt so weak like this before. It was not too long when the others came but Jaehyun already lost himself and kept thinking who did this to you. There’s only one man in his mind though, Kun. 

By the time you were stable and safe from death, Jaehyun couldn’t let go of your hand, even while he was sleeping. But days passed by slowly, and your condition wasn't getting any better, this is where he started feeling angry again, frustrated because he couldn't do anything to wake you up. He didn’t have any choice but to go back to where he’s good at. Killing. 

“Save yourself from the trouble, let us handle this stay here with her, she’ll love it when she wakes up and you’re beside her” Yuta tried to persuade Jaehyun. 

“I’ll do this on my own. Keep her safe for me. When she wakes up… tell her I’ll be with her soon” Jaehyun says before kissing you goodbye, whispering sweet things beside your ear. 

“Please don’t leave me. I will be nothing without you” he says. 

During the days that he’s tracking Kun, Jaehyun promises to himself that from now on, he will be a boss while being an assassin himself, killing everyone that goes on his way, he is blinded by his anger and want for revenge. He will work harder to achieve piece in your lives even tho he needs to bring chaos first. 

When Jaehyun finally met Kun face to face, he did not know why finding and looking for him felt wrong, it was as if the clues that he had never pointed him to Kun’s direction but he kept on insisting on blaming Kun… because he really don’t know who to kill. 

“Do you know why the Phantoms are always ahead of you…. Because you’re stupid” Kun mocks Jaehyun. “I’ll tell you who wanted Y/n dead but I want something big in return”

“You can’t bring money on your deathbed Kun. Come on be creative, ask for something else” 

Kun just gave him a mocking smile. 

“So who wanted Y/n dead?” Jaehyun asked, pointing his gun toward Kun. 

“I think you can answer that question… actually, I think you know the answer already”

It was quiet for some time. Crazy how Kun’s words were true and Jaehyun was just denying the fact that… his father is the one who wanted you dead. He had a hunch already. But blood is still blood. Jaehyun couldn’t swallow that pill. 

“Imagine this Jaehyun… you and Y/n in a faraway place. Get married privately. Away from all the family drama. Build a home. Build a family. Isn’t that what you want? Well… according to Hendery that’s what Y/n wanted” 

Immediately Jaehyun’s world stopped. Kun already knew that he was about to get what he wanted in this life. It's not easy to have a deal with a Phantom, but for you, Jaehyun is willing to risk that.

“Just tell me if I should do the dirty work Jeong” Kun added.

By the time you gain continuousness and finally awake from your deep sleep, you look for Jaehyun beside you but it was Mark you saw first, followed by Yuta who just entered the room with a cup of noodles. Of course, you remember being food poisoned, coughing blood and staining Jaehyun’s clothes, you still remember the horrible memories before you closed your eyes that time. 

“I know you miss Jaehyun even when you’re sleeping— but he just got home from a mission alone… he will be here soon” Mark whispered. “He did it Y/n, he killed Kun. The last of the Phantoms” Yuta added. 

“How long was I sleeping?” You asked weakly. You can’t believe that Jaehyun was back to killing while you were out. He hasn’t gotten his hand dirty for years.

“Roughly 14 days-“

“He tracked and killed Kun in 14 days?” You let out a laugh. 

“Well, we almost lost you Y/n” Mark said and you can only imagine how Jaehyun felt. 

While waiting for Jaehyun to arrive, you fell asleep and dreamt of him kissing and snuggling you under the beautiful sunset, holding hands while enjoying the warmth of the sun, little did you know, Jaehyun was already beside you. Trying to gently wake you up. And by the time you opened your eyes, his lips found yours and you pulled him in for an embrace. He look tired, he got thin in a matter of days. 

“Let’s go far away from this place and live peacefully” he asked of you sweetly. “Do you like that?” His hands found yours, he was cold and shaking, oh how you wish it was warm and relaxed like how you dreamt of him. 

After being discharged from the hospital, he was focused on you. He even discharged you from the hospital himself and drove you home. A new house. Everything happened so fast, and you don’t know why Jaehyun is like this. He never left the house, he’s always by your side but he’s always on his toes, always on the phone, almost not sleeping. What’s happening? 

“Here, you feeling okay?” He handed you your medicine and a glass of water, watching you very carefully as you take everything. 

“Why are you watching me like a hawk Jae?” Your arms immediately wrapped around him. You’re still weak and he can see it. 

“I’m just doing my job” he smiles and kisses your forehead before he returns the embrace. He’s always by your side lately, you’re not complaining but you wish he could be honest and tell you everything. 

“Hmm. That’s my job. Protecting you Jeong Yoonoh” you teased him. He just laughed. 

“Do you know how painful it is to watch you sleep, and talk to you while you were unconscious? I never want that to happen again. I felt so hopeless. It’s like I was ready to die any minute”

Of course you know what he felt. You almost lost him too. “From now on… can you just let me… let me protect you. Let me take care of you. No questions asked?” He looked you in the eye and waited for your answer. 

You just nod. 

After a few weeks of staying in the new house, Jaehyun surprised you with a long vacation in Italy. You already knew that this trip was a secret to the world. A trip between you and Jaehyun only while Taeyong, Mark, and Yuta are on standby protecting you and Jaehyun. “I don’t like this princess treatment. What is going on?” You asked Taeyong sternly. But as per Jaehyun’s request, he did not tell you anything. 

Jaehyun was extremely quiet during the trip. Almost as if his mind is somewhere else but you couldn’t ask him. You feel like he’s somewhere else. 

It was dark when you two arrived at this secluded farm but you trusted Jaehyun’s words, “you’ll love this place” The house was simple. There’s grass everywhere, beautiful garden, all kinds of flowers and shrubs, and you can hear crickets around the place. The moon was shining brightly too. Nothing fancy, when you two walked in. Theres a nice living room, filled with unique furniture and nice trinkets. “Could be better if the family who lived here put up some family pictures,” you said. 

Jaehyun was quiet, but smiling. 

The kitchen was perfect you thought, you remember daydreaming about having your own kitchen like this. Big stove, an oven for baking, a wooden dining table for your future family… its perfect. 

“This place is breathtaking—“ you said as you enter the masters bedroom room and was quickly grabbed by the waist.

“Wait until the morning,” he smiled before kissing you lovingly. 

It was the first time ever again that you two shared a bed. You have no idea what’s keeping Jaehyun away from you but nonetheless, you understand. And since this is the first time you two shared the bed, you noticed that he wasn’t planning on sleeping. It’s either you feel him keep you closer to his body, you hear him text or call someone, and the next thing you know the sun is shining already and he’s making you breakfast. 

“Did you even sleep?” You asked him while he was busy cooking eggs. You hugged him from behind and greeted him ‘good morning’ 

“For an hour, yeah. I needed to take some calls so I couldn’t join you in your sleep. Dreamt about me?” He flirted and kissed you good morning. 

“Yeah. Dreamt about you sleeping beside me… only to find out you didn’t even rest properly” you chuckled and bravely asked, “what’s wrong? If work is so heavy that you couldn’t let go of your phone then why are we here?” 

“I thought you promised that you will never question the way I protect you?” He was smiling but little did he know… you’re already pissed. You couldn’t argue with him anymore because he was on his phone again answering yet another important call. 

For days Jaehyun couldn’t answer your question. He’s not helping you understand him… even though you’re more than willing to. 

It hurts to turn your back on him whenever he reaches out for you. It hurts that you avoid him in this beautiful place that was meant to be enjoyed together. At this point… you just want to go home and leave this beautiful place. 

So you told him. 

“I don’t want to fight. I’m too weak for that. I am forever grateful that you want to protect me but, this is suffocating Jae. You’re not even communicating—“ 

And then Jaehyun get on his knees and took your words away. 

He’s proposing… out of nowhere. 

“I’m sorry. I’m not perfect but I’m really trying to do things my own way. Can you be my wife? And you know… make a man out of me?” He chuckled and waited for your answer. Of course you said yes. You can feel his heartbeat, beating so fast while you hug him tight. 

“I’m working double time and looking for a suitable replacement for my place at the table so we could never leave this place anymore. That’s why” he added and put the ring on your finger. “Wow. You finally said ‘yes’” he teased you and kissed you before apologizing once again. 

Gone are the days that the house was dead silent. Now its full of laughter and sweet whispers, only between you and Jaehyun. 

He changed his ways immediately, making sure you understood what he was trying to do. Soon Jaehyun realized how much help you could been if only he told you a little bit sooner. 

As days go by you two enjoy the place together, you try so hard to make breakfast warmer and sweeter each day, spend the days like a normal couple would do, stroll around the small town and enjoy its uniqueness, swim in rivers and kiss during sunset, appreciate the quiet evening where you can only hear crickets singing while you two sat at the front porch. 

“Good morning,” he hugged you from behind in this cold morning. You were happy he’s back to his normal self and gave him kisses that are long overdue. Innocent kisses that are sweet but wet, you can tell by the way his tongue moves that he missed you too. The way his kisses are soft but you know he’s up to something even more. 

His hands were swift to remove your sleepwear until you’re naked beneath him as the morning sun hits you perfectly. You watch him remove his sweatpants and underwear and he was excited to go back to your lips again. He missed being on top of you, being able to see the woman that he loves like this again. 

“I’m sorry if being like a horny teenager this morning. I really missed you” he apologized and kissed you again, hands reaching both of your legs and spreading them wide while you check your slit with your right hand if you’re wet already and you’re ready for that cock of his. 

“Don’t apologize, you’re not a stranger” you whispered sweetly while you pump his cock and kiss his lips. He didn’t wait for another second to push in. He couldn’t wait anymore. 

He missed your warm walls. He missed your lips. He missed hearing your moans beside his ears he missed your touch. Your hands are around his neck. Never leaving his skin and continuously pulling him back closer to you whenever he tries to pull away for a different sex position. He let out a soft laugh, kissing the shell of your ear and making you weak. The way he fucks you this morning is soft, as if he’s really telling you he missed you. 

The way his cock goes in and out of your hole, slowly but deep. It was addicting. Then he flips you around, putting you on your stomach but never leaving your lips. He pushed in again while your legs are still closed, making your hole tighter to Jaehyun’s liking. This is how he wanted it. Tight and slow, but giving you hard thrust while hitting the right spot. “Fuck,” you said and catch your breath. You felt your high come down already but Jaehyun is still building his. What the fuck you thought with a smile. You feel his lips travel around your back, his strong arms wrapped around your body, touching, pinching and even smacking your skin oh so lightly it tickles you. 

“Marry me”

He suddenly said. 

“Marry me,” he repeated it while thrusting deep inside you. You tried looking back at him to see his eyes but he was quick to catch your lips and fuck you faster. He was near. 

He flips you again so he could see your eyes and beautiful face, still waiting for the sweet answer. Hopefully. He was working hard for it, as you can see.

Rubbing his hand on your hard nipples as he fucks you slow and deep. His lips never leave your lips, telling you how much he loves you. He reached for your hand and intertwined it with yours, “Marry me,” he asked again, this time looking at your eyes and left a kiss your lips which made you completely stunned… and all you did was nod your head with a smile as an answer. 

You saw how Jaehyun’s face lit up the moment you answered him. How he was genuinely happy. That you finally said ‘yes’.

He let go of your hand and put on your legs, spreading them wide while he pushes deeper. You watch Jaehyun moan on top of you, eyes closed, eyebrows furrowed. He was really hard and you feel it stretch you every time he push right back in. 

Faster he fucks you, making your boobs bounce and making you moan so loud. By the time he reaches his high his thrust were harder than before almost hurting you with the impact. But the hurt was so good it’s addicting. 

He rested his head beside your ear, putting all of his weight on top of you. Oh you love it when he do this… 

“I love you. Thank you for saying ‘yes’ I will make you the happiest girl in the world-“ 

“You already did Jae,” 

He smiled and caged you with his strong arms. It was a good day. A good day to start a new life together. 

A good day to get married privately. 

“Don’t you think this is kinda rushed and impulsive?” You said as Jaehyun drags you to the nearby church and talk to the locals for your wedding. 

Well, he’s Jaehyun. If he wants to get married today, then a wedding is going to happen. 

“Don’t you want to get married soon?” He asked back. 

“I want to but—“ 

“Then today is perfect!” He smiled so big as he hands you your flowers and pick the nicest wedding rings for the two of you. You’ve never seen Jaehyun like this before… but what did you expect? He really wanted to marry you and today, nothings going to stop him from being happy. As you watch him wear his smile that you gave, you can’t help but think about how you couldn’t just kill his joy now. 

The wedding was special. Nothing fancy. Just a the two of you, a witness and your promises to each other. 

“We’ll have a proper wedding if you want. We can invite the others and it will be a big celebration” he says excitedly while kissing you softly, motioning you towards your shared room, not even bothering to open the lights even though the sun came down already. 

Jaehyun was gentle and it was clear what he wanted to do on your wedding night. He was doing everything he can, kissing every part of you, touching you on the right places and telling you the perfect words that make your heart skip a beat.

Nothing can make this day even more perfect. 

“Given that its our wedding night, and you’re basically my wife now…” Jaehyun started with a shy smile. You just laughed at him for struggling to tell you what he really wanted. “Can we talk about having kids?” he finally said it. 

You laughed at what he said and looked him in the eye, you trace his features. His handsome features that made you like him, but when his lips caught your hand and showered it with kisses. You remembered how his handsomeness was just a plus, a bonus, and that his attitude is what made you fall in love with him. 

“Of course we can. Half of me, half of you” you said with a smile. 

“I want daughters” Jaehyun excitedly said, “I will spoil them—“

“Just how you spoil your niece huh? got it” you teased him. 

“But seriously. We’ll play every night, I’ll be their knight in shining armor, I’ll protect them and I’ll make this world a better place for them” 

“Hmm. exactly how?”

“I have a few plans in my mind… you wont like it,” he said with a sweet voice and started kissing your neck. He was putting you in the mood again by kissing your boobs and sucking on your nipples. Of course you like the feeling and you immediately forgot what he was saying. All you did was agree in your weakest state while moaning his name. You told him you cant go again because you were still sensitive but of course Jaehyun has his own ways. 

The days you spend together in this house is even more beautiful, it was not long after Jaehyun told you that he bought this place already and that this is where you will build a family with him. He made it official when he put a framed picture of you and him at the top of the fireplace. It was a good start. Just the way you like it. 

“Hows everything back home?” You asked while he’s typing aggressively on his phone, he doesn’t look pleased. You stood up and try to take a look at his phone but he was quick to turn the screen off and give his attention to you. 

“It’s just work, Im having a hard time but there’s nothing I cant handle” he smiled and reached out for a kiss. “Let’s make dinner?” 

Over dinner you couldn’t help but ask him over and over again about the situation back home. Not to mention… you wanted to tell him that you’re happy and that you’re over the moon but you just cant help but think that everything felt so misplaced right now. You also feel like he’s hiding something from you. 

“I’m afraid I have to leave you here for a few days, I’ll come back as soon as I can. I have to take care of something” Jaehyun explains while he plays with your hand and look at your ring. 

“I’ll come with you. We don’t need to rush living like this… I too have loose ends to take care of. Let me go with you” 

Of course you see right through him. He was hiding something. 

By the time the two of you got back at the headquarters, everything went crashing down and took away your peace. You instantly wished that you hadn't left that place. Nonetheless… everything was meant to happen eventually in the first place. 

Jaehyun’s father had a heart attack and it completely changed everyone's lives. In a bad way. 

“Yoonoh I need you to come with me” Chanyeol said to Jaehyun, signaling him to get in the car. Jaehyun on the other hand, can’t and won’t let go of you because he knew damn well that he needs you and you’re his wife now… you should stay close to him. 

“This is strictly families only Jae, don’t make this harder than it already is” Chanyeol said as he stops you from getting inside the car with Jaehyun. 

This is not the perfect time to announce your marriage. And so as Jaehyun was about to say it, you stopped him and made him follow Chanyeol. “I’ll be here, just come home whenever you can” you said and let Chanyeol take him away from you. 

It all happened so quickly but days went by slowly. It was dark times for everyone even though the sun shines brightly everyday and lights up every color you see. Even though everyday seems to be a gift, but in this world you’re in its just another day for chaos and revenge.

“Jeong Yoonoh’s place as the new head of the family and the new boss cannot be moved or transferred to any candidate….” 

You listened to the lawyer as he recited every last will of Jaehyun’s father. 

This simply means that Jaehyun can’t leave this wretched world and live a quiet life with you.

Privately, Jaehyun made a call. 

A call to someone he thought he could trust with his plans in life. But it ended up giving him the biggest problem he ever faced. 

“The deal was kill him after you replace me. You just made everything complicated. The deal is off. You’re useless to me now. Prepare for your funeral. I will not stop until you’re with your friends” 

As soon as Jaehyun ended the call with Kun. He threw his burner phone and removed his necktie that seems to be so tight right now. He felt so caged at some point. He felt prisoned. 

Only to realize that he doesn’t need to feel this way anymore because… as ugly as it sounds… he’s the boss now and he can do everything. Kill anyone. And no one will stop him now. 

Of course he’s having these thoughts because he’s struggling to get to you. To be with you peacefully. His wife. 

He wanted to tell the world that you are a Jeong now, looking at his wedding ring he remembers the beautiful times you spent together peacefully. And how he’s more than willing to embrace all this power and authority he has just so he could make this world a better place for you. It’s all for you. 

In a matter of days, Jaehyun became the boss of bosses. The head of the Jeongs and fulfilling his birthright. You have no choice but to watch him from the sidelines and be quiet even though you’re already his wife. It was as if you were nobody even though deep inside you’re basically a Jeong too.

That thought… of being a Jeong. Officially … just gives you headaches and heartaches at the same time. It feels wrong.

Ceremonies, gatherings and a lot of business meetings. Jaehyun faced them all and made him grow even more as a leader. You’re proud of him of course, and you’re happy whenever you see him in the news for a quick interview, him cutting a ribbon or whenever you see his face at the morning papers. You’re proud of him. 

And even though all these achievements are all good for his career… everyday, you feel like it’s creating a barrier between you and Jaehyun and it’s becoming thicker each day. 

Ever since the funeral you stayed at the headquarters with the others. You’re back to being an assassin, guarding rich people and providing protection whenever they need it. It’s whatever. Jaehyun insisted that you stop, but you told him that this is the only thing you know how to do even with your eyes closed. 

Maybe everything feels wrong because you’re not yet ready to be a wife to Jaehyun. 

“Don’t blame yourself. I’m sure he misses you too” Yuta said softly and gave you a cup of tea. “He’s been receiving death threats again. I think it was three today,” you just scoffed at that information knowing that Jaehyun wouldn’t be actually threatened by that. 

“People don’t know how he could be such a monster sometimes. Personally I think they should stop” 

You and Yuta just laugh at what you said because its true. For a minute, you and Yuta reminisce how Jaehyun was a crazy assassin at some point. You two also remembered how he used to be a normal person even before all of this happened. He was your friend, but now he’s your boss. Even now that you’re his wife… he’s more of a boss than a husband. 

“We can trade places tomorrow. I’m assigned to guarding Jaehyun’s office. I’m sure he’ll be happy to see you” Yuta offered.

“I haven’t seen him up close since we got back” you murmured and looked at your wedding ring. “I wanted to take care of him, I wanted to iron his clothes, prepare him breakfast… like you know…. like a normal wife. Instead… I will guard his office, check every food he’s about to eat for possible food poison, and just… be a wife in my dreams. It frustrates me. I’m not sure if I’m ready to see him… let alone be with him the whole day… as one of his bodyguards”

But even though after listening to your sentiments, Yuta still encouraged you to trade places with him. For him, its better to see him from a far than not seeing him, its better for you to be with him the whole day while guarding his office, than not given the opportunity to do so. “Most wives wanted to guard their husbands 24/7 you know that?” Yuta tried making you laugh, he was talking about the cheating husbands and the wives that became dramatic overtime. 

“You watch too much T.V these days” you said while laughing. 

“Was it beautiful? The wedding?” Yuta asked sweetly only because he wanted to cheer you up. 

“Beautiful. Peaceful. Jaehyun was really happy and I was just feeling things I shouldn’t. He proposed two times already, and I turned him down because I wasn’t sure how can I make him happy… but when I finally said ‘yes’… its the first time ever that I saw him so joyful, so full of life… it was that moment that I realized that I alone can make the man that I love happy, I just need to trust myself” 

“Well, I’m sure you two will find a way back to that place again. Just hold on tight” he cheers you up. 

The next day, you guarded Jaehyun’s office with a happy heart. You left a cup of coffee on his desk with a small note, ‘I’m outside’- wife. It was out of love, and you wanted to know that you’re more than desperate to be with him. 

But Jaehyun burned the note. You saw him do it. 

For someone who is clueless and does not know the truth, it looked like Jaehyun was just burning a piece of paper for fun. Followed by lighting up his cigarette before starting to read the pile of documents in front of him today. Jaehyun didn’t like the idea. After a board meeting, Jaehyun called you inside his office privately. You thought that finally… after all the waiting you did for the following weeks, you will finally get to see him up close. 

“What were you thinking? What will happen if my enemies found out that you’re my wife? My wife. Who’s guarding me so freely. Who works for me” 

It sounded as if you weren’t enough to be his wife… that’s why he hasn’t made the announcement yet.  

Jaehyun wasn’t careful with his words and he didn’t mean it. 

“All I’m saying was, I cant let my enemies see you like this” 

He realized that the more he opens his mouth… the more he offends you without actually meaning it. Jaehyun wanted to tell you that, he wanted to protect you and hide you from his enemies. But that wasn’t exactly what happened. He just offended you. 

He didn’t get the chance to explain himself further or say sorry because you left already. He couldn’t stop you. Afraid that he might make the situation worst.

Driven by concern and guilt, Jaehyun managed to come to the headquarters for you at the end of the day. At least try to talk to you. He wanted to apologize and come pick you up for dinner if you let him. He felt bad about what happened earlier. He was just scared. That’s all. 

Just like a thief, he entered your room uninvited. See you sleep soundly. He wanted to wake you up but he thought maybe you were tired too. So instead of waking you up he just left a kiss on your forehead and made sure you’re all warm. Watching you under the warm light of your lampshade, asking himself, ‘is it really okay to deny you as his wife at this point?’ ‘is this really the only way to keep you safe?’ 

“At least you’re safe” he murmured.  

Of course you felt his presence. And you didn’t care if you were tired or sleepy. You wanted to spend time with him. Even though he broke your heart earlier. You were quick to hug him and kiss him, and told him he’s already forgiven. 

The night carried on beautifully as planned. Even though you two are basically hiding from the world. You two had hot noodles under the moon and stars, you watch your husband eat in front of you and help him wipe his face because he ate too messy. “Sorry. I was hungry” He got shy when you reached for the tissue to wipe his face and help him remove his tie so he could eat comfortably. Deep inside Jaehyun was happy. But he was shy that his ears are so red. 

“Why are you shy? Its not everyday I could take care of you” you said as you put more food in his bowl and pour him another glass of wine. Of course he knew that you wanted to take care of him as your husband, he knew that someday, you wanted to help him and support his and the boss he’s meant to be… but Jaehyun didn’t expect that it would be so hard.

“I’m sorry. I really am. Its just that… I receive death threats everyday. I couldn’t let you get involved in this kind of life that I have now. I’m really sorry, I am. I know you're 100% capable of taking care of yourself and these threats are just nothing... but its different. If the news comes out that youre my wife, the world will not stop until you're dead” Jaehyun explains. His heart breaks a million times because this is not the life he promised you when he asked you to marry him. 

“I’m sorry we can’t go back to our home yet… I sure miss it already” Jaehyun says softly to you. You wanted to tell him that you already forgot about it, that it was just a short dream for you and that the wedding ring that you two shared is the only proof that it actually happened… but you didn’t want to hurt him or start an argument. You’re just happy he’s here with you. 

And speaking of rings… Jaehyun caught you spacing out while looking at his ring. You were actually surprised he’s wearing it. “What if someone dares to ask about your ring?” you asked as if you were suggesting that he takes it off if he really wanted to hide that he’s a married man now.

“This is sacred,” he says sternly and reached out for your hand. “for better or for worse” he reminded you. “Just give me more time…I’ll come to you. As always” he promised.

After eating, he cuddled with you and waited for you to sleep but he was tired too that he slept first the moment he was comfortable in your bed and you couldn’t wake him up or disturb him. He misses your presence, your warmth and your touch. 

The next day Jaehyun met Chanyeol and talked about his enemies and possible enemies in the future. He spent weeks doing background checks, meetings, bribing, and torturing a few people just so he could find who sent the threats. But every time he kills a problem, another problem just pops out of nowhere. It felt endless Jaehyun thought. 

“‘I don’t want to be like my father’ isn’t that your life motto?” Chanyeol asked Jaehyun shamelessly. “I remember when I was just starting to work for the Jeongs… your father loved his family so much, that’s why he had the idea of having his own assassins”  

“Are you suggesting that I use the squad just so I could go and finally come home to Y/n?” 

“No. but the fact that the idea came from you scared me. I’m saying… that you should go on a different path Jeong Yoonoh” 

The next day, Chanyeol officially resigned. Of course Jaehyun couldn’t be selfish this time. His work will be doubled without Chanyeol… but his hyung has his own life too. 

“I have a daughter. She’s 3 years old already and tomorrow I’ll see her for the third time. That’s how much this job has taken from me Jaehyun. That’s the last thing I’ll teach you. You have a wife now. Don’t waste your time” Chanyeol said before saying his final goodbye to his student. 

After hearing what Chanyeol said, Jaehyun tried to be with you as much as he could. But he couldn’t.

He promised to be with you and you wait for him to arrive. But he never did. 

He talks to you but only through phone calls. 

By this time your patience is almost gone. But you can’t do anything about it. You’re married. 

Although, Jaehyun managed to give you your own place as a way of saying ‘sorry’. This way it was easier for him to visit you, but in some way, it became lonelier because you were always alone. Lonelier than ever. Even though, some days and nights were beautiful because you could spend it with him, still… its been lonely for you. 

“Jaehyun has been tiring everyone. Are you sure he’s still sane?” Taeyong complains while you and Yuta watch him do pull-ups. 

“Even you. His own wife. He treats you like shit. No offense Y/n. But… now that he’s the boss now, I think he should grant you your freedom already” Taeyong added. “Instead… he’s sending you to assassinate someone whenever he feels like it” 

“It’s my job” you try to defend yourself. 

“How about his job as your husband?” 

You we’re speechless. 

Changes happened so fast ever since Chanyeol left. The new apartment, new assassins, new people to kill, new bosses, new people to kill, new people to protect. Taeyong was right. Is Jaehyun still thinking straight? 

On the same day, Jaehyun came home and you found him sleeping on the bed with his shoes still on and a cup of untouched coffee on the bedside table. You figured he must have tried battling against sleepiness but couldn’t win because of tiredness. He must be really tired like everyone else, you thought. Even though Jaehyun’s choices in life right now make everyone's lives miserable, you’re sure that Jaehyun must be suffering and struggling alone too. 

“Hey…” he greeted you with a tired voice when he felt your presence, “what time did you arrive? I’m sorry. I tried coming home as fast as I could. I was in Bangkok for days— I missed you” he got up even though its obvious that all he wanted to do is rest. People don’t see this side of Jaehyun. And you’re the only one who could see him weak like this. It pains you. 

“I missed you too?” you said sweetly, he initiated the kiss, you kissed him back, showing him that you still long for him, you still want him every second of the day. But for someone who’s tired to the bone, he sure does have the energy to turn you on and imply that he wanted to have sex tonight. “If you’re tired, we could just lay down and talk until the sun rises” he suggests, he’s aware that he’s been tiring everyone lately too, including you. The suggestion stands, but Jaehyun couldn't stop himself from devouring your neck and kissing you just how you want it.

“Don’t stop my love” you made sure he heard you right. You returned his hungry kisses and quickly unbuttoned his dress shirt. You remember the last time you had sex, it was your wedding night, and the thought of it just makes you want to melt into Jaehyun’s body, grinding on his hardening cock and using each other for your own pleasure. You hold on to him, scratching his back and leaving a few bruises on his skin because you were so so so desperate to keep him close to you. 

“I’m sorry. I’m here now” he managed to whisper. In one swift he put you in all fours, kneading your boobs from behind and pinching your nipples while he enjoys touching your body and making you feel good with his hands alone. Pulling you against his chest, you feel his lips on the shells of your ear, hearing every breath he takes. It sounded sexy, and the sound alone just makes you wet. “Can I be rough tonight?” Jaehyun asks while kissing your body back, hand beside your waist, keeping you still for all the kisses that he’s about to give your body. All you can do is nod and kiss him back with the same hunger. 

From behind, he licked your leaking cunt, you were so wet at the moment only because it has been so long ever since he touched you. Jaehyun can see and feel how you shiver at every touch, every lick he does to you. And he likes what he’s seeing. He decided to be more playful and run a finger slowly to your cunt. Your hole is ready to be fucked but Jaehyun wanted to make you wet even more. Without a warning, he licked your slit followed by his fingers, making small circle on your sensitive bud which makes your knees weak, making you land on the mattress and let out beautiful moan. Jaehyun was quick to pull your waist back up and kiss your back, the tip of his cock sliding up and down on your cunt, which makes you grip the sheets and hold on to whatever you can. You reach behind for his hand, asking him to hold hands with you which he complies before pushing in. You feel his lips on your lips as he slowly thrust in and out but not for long. It was just his way of saying, ‘im going to be rough, if it hurts make me stop’. 

You feel his hand on your waist while he thrust so hard and you hear slapping. Your face is perfectly buried on the mattress as you take every pleasure your husband gives you. You hear him moan and his moans were perfect. It was obvious that you make him feel good and that alone just makes you want more. 

His lips and his thrust were on different rhythms. His thrusts were nothing but hard, to the extent that you let out a small scream here and there, feeling his skin burn yours. Oh youre sure you’ll have bruises when you wake up tomorrow, you’re not even sure if you could walk properly. While his lips bring you comfort, warm like his being. You’re sure that his kisses left marks on your back too. You just smile at every thought running through your head. And Jaehyun caught you. 

“So you seemed to be enjoying. I’m glad” He suddenly stopped thrusting and proceeded to kiss your lips, flipping you once again facing him this time. He caresses your legs for a few seconds, touching your body while he whispers dirty things beside your ear that of course… makes you wet and want for more. When his fingers slide on your wet slit, Jaehyun was amazed at how he made you wet this time. “Can I slap your cunt?” he asks, you nod. 

He slapped your cunt in a way you loved every sting of it. Making your legs closed but your husband was quick to compensate for every sting from a hard slap with a soft touch, a soft kiss, a finger inside or a spit followed by his tongue. And when he was satisfied, he thrusted his hard cock once again and fuck you slowly this time. Looking you in the eye and melting you, making you shy. He just smiles back at you while continuing to make you crazy. When he finally reaches his high, he removes his cock from your hole and came on on top of you. Watching his thick cum paint your pussy and stomach. It was messy but no one cared. 

“I wasn’t sure if you were safe…” he was talking about your pill. “That made me realize, what kind of husband am I… I dont even know if I could cum inside my wife” he reaches for the tissue from the bedside table and wiped every cum on your skin. Kissing lower stomach all the way up until he reaches your lips and stays on top of you. Putting both of your arms on top of your head, and making you swing your arms around his neck. He wanted you to keep him close. 

“Thank you for pulling out,” is all you managed to say. 

“Can you still go for another round? Or a couple more?” He asks while kissing your neck. 

“Yeah just give me a few minutes,” you paused and took this time to express what your’e feeling, “I missed you” 

“I miss you too. You’ve been nothing but patient with me and Im grateful” he kissed your hand which had your wedding ring on it. “everything will be worth it I promise” You rolled your eyes playfully. 

“Kiss me” You commanded he complies. In a matter of seconds he’s inside you again. You clenched around him kept him close to your body held him tight and kissed him deeply. “Come home more often” you managed to moan, and all he could do is nod and return the favor of what youre doing by rolling his hips slowly and thrusting deeper. Kissing you more and keeping you on your toes.

On the next day, it was a cold morning. The room was painted with blue, and the sun was just about to rise. Jaehyun had the privilege of waking you up early in the morning even though he completely worn you out last night. He just wanted to make sure he doesnt waste his time. “Good morning” he says, kissing you softly, waking you up in the most softest way. When you finally opened your eyes, your heart skipped a beat when you saw Jaehyun’s face. His dimples flashing and a handsome smile. 

“Did you sleep well?” He asked, you nod and pulled him in for a hug, making sure youre not dreaming. “I’m thankful for you” he says, making you smile and putting butterflies in your stomach, first thing in the morning.

As you two head on with your day, this is the first time you help him prepare for work as his wife. You picked his clothes, you watch him get dressed, you fix his tie, its perfect. On the other hand, Jaehyun too was happy because he could spend this morning with you, he hugged you from behind while you were drying your hair. And told you that he will try to come home everyday from now on followed by aplogies. Sincere apologies that were whispered beside your ear which sent shivers down your spine. 

“Just give me more time. I love you” 

You were not like other couples, like normal couples and you think its time to face that as a married couple.

Of course the sex suddenly fixed everything. 

He comes home regularly. 

Spend mornings sweetly. 

Spend longer nights together that include moaning his name while his tongue is making you feel good. 

The sex became rougher and its okay because you both love it. 

But of course it didn’t last for long. 

Days become stressful for Jaehyun because of Kun. He’s now working hand in hand with Johnny, planning to overthrow Jaehyun with being the king of the city, for being the powerful man that he is now. But Jaehyun is smarter than all of them.

As an assassin he is used to research. Researching and studying everything about who he needs to kill, and how.

What is their most prized possession?

Who is the most important person in their life?

If Jaehyun were to ask these questions, you are the answer.

Sometimes, he thanks his father for making him an assassin first rather than the heir of this huge company. He'd grow us useless and stupid if it weren't for Chanyeol and the 127 squad. Maybe that’s the reason why his father made him an assassin in the first place. To gain important experience.

Jaehyun played by the book but played dirty too. He made sure his enemies will remember him. For Johnny, Jaehyun made sure that his daughter is safe… but the catch is, Johnny has no clue where Jaehyun kept her hidden. Yes. He kidnapped her. Which made Johnny beg on his knees one afternoon at Jaehyun’s office. Everyone witnessed it, but they have no clue why.

“Kun. Tell me where he keeps his airplanes” Jaehyun demanded as Johnny begged on his knees.

Soon Johnny told Jaehyun where Kun kept his airplanes. It is where he keeps his money and his gold. Knowing Kun, he’s obsessed with his airplanes, and his riches.

And Jaehyun burned them all down with his own lighter.

You have no idea what Jaehyun has done for the past week, you can only see that he’s exhausted but he’s happy.

While you were sleeping, you felt Jaehyun’s hand creep under your sleepwear, caressing your exposed stomach and trying to wake you up with his kisses. He smelled like alcohol, you bet he’s been drinking with his trusted new business partners. Drunken men who cheat with their wives overseas, rich people who make everything and anything happen.

You don’t ask for too much. All you want to do is for him to come home to you and spend time with you as much as he can. Sober.

“I know what you’re thinking.. you probably smelled it already, but I’m not drunk. Was… but not anymore— can we go for a few rounds?” he asked shamelessly. Obviously he’s horny. But you didn’t like how he was asking you to have sex with him, after not coming home for a week. You felt like… you’re someone whom he just uses for adult stress release.

But maybe he was tired and that he really missed you and you’re just quick with your ugly judgment. You dont know anymore.

“Where do you sleep whenever you don’t come home?” It was just a question, a question out of concern, a conversation starter, but Jaehyun unfortunately got offended.

“I am many things. But I will never cheat on you” he said. Sternly. He got up from his comfort next to you and proceeded to remove his tie. You checked the time and it’s almost time to start your day. But for Jaehyun, he was just about to end his.

“I didn’t mean it that way Jae—“

“Then enlighten me” he asks coldly.

You watch him remove his watch, roll his sleeves and face you, while he waits for your answer.

“I feel like… you just come home to me for sex… but I wanted to understand you more. So I avoided the subject, that’s why asked you instead ‘where do you sleep—“

“In a hotel. Alone. Are you happy now?” he answered, crossing his shoulders in front of you as if he was still waiting for you to talk, “I’m sorry if I made you feel that way. But I guess I’m just one horny motherfucker”

He let’s out a heavy sigh, realizing that his words aren’t right and you don’t deserve to be treated this way. His pride stops him from telling you he’s sorry, even though he wanted to. But Jaehyun turned his back on you and proceeds to take a shower. Preparing for yet another busy day in the office.

What have you done? You told to yourself.

Before Jaehyun leaves you tried to invite him for coffee. But he just kissed you goodbye, answered an urgent call and left immediately.

Jaehyun did not come home for days, he didn’t even said goodbye to you when he left for Macao. At this point, you’re not sure how else or what kind of apology you should do, all you could do is wait for his return.

Without Chanyeol, Jaehyun doesn’t have someone whom he trusts the most when it comes to his armies. Armies meaning… Jaehyun’s assassin. Everyone thought that Jaehyun would pick Taeyong because he is his best friend, but no. Jaehyun hired someone new. Someone who is trustworthy, who isn’t biased, and who will follow and protect Jaehyun with his life. He is Jaehyun’s cousin, Doyoung.

Knowing that he isn’t biased, Doyoung gave the 127 squad equal field assignments while Jaehyun was away. The mission was fine, it wasn’t bloody at all, and it wasn't hard for you, Taeyong and Yuta… but when Doyoung said that Mark is not capable enough to protect Jaehyun and that he needed to finish a field assignment on his own to prove it, everyone protested.

"Mark has been protecting Jaehyun ever since he learned how to hack shit!" you shouted. "Mark can protect everyone through his screens-- are you dumb?"

But even though everyone voiced out their frustrations, Doyoung is still unstoppable.

“I’ve been calling Jaehyun but he isn’t answering” you tried to comfort Mark. He’s been shaking ever since the announcement.

“We will shadow you and assist you secretly,” Taeyong says as he tries to lessen Mark’s nervousness.

“I swear if Mark dies, I’m killing Jaehyun” Yuta jokes, but he was frustrated as well.

“Everyone calm down I’m sure Jaehyun is not aware… no calls have been reaching him” you told everyone but deep inside you wern't sure.

The plan to shadow Mark secretly and assist him went in shambles when Doyoung announced that you, Yuta and Taeyong are supposed to pick up Jaehyun privately from Macao and bring him home safe.

Yes you want to see Jaehyun. Of course you wanted to protect your husband… but Mark needs you and it breaks your heart that you’re so powerless.

When you and the others picked up Jaehyun successfully, no one was talking in the helicopter but everyone is nervous. There was a time that Mark was still reacheable and that he sends signals that he's okay but not for long. And when you guys are back to the headquarters, Mark still hasn't come back.

Until Doyoung officially announced that he failed.

“He got shot and his body went straight to the icy river…” he informed everyone with heavy heart, regret and kept apologizing.

Yuta was quick to start a fight and punched Doyoung too many times, he just let him. Thinking he deserved it. You hear Taeyong punch the wall out of anger, crying and just plainly out of words.

You on the other hand, went out of the room and cried in one space, pulling yourself together, closing your eyes and hoping that this is all a dream. Everyone saw it coming. But everyone did not do anything to save him from the situation. There’s a part of you that blames Jaehyun, but of course, you avoid that thought.

For years of being together, Mark was the source of happiness of the squad. His never ending jokes, his loud voice, his loud laughs over your earpiece. You remember it all and it will never be the same again. He’s the best hacker that you know, and you’re just sad to the core that not everyone appreciates that.

It was dark times, but everything went black out when the days continued and Mark was not with you anymore.

You and Jaehyun constantly fight everyday, arguing, shouting and hurting each other through words you never told to each other before. Of course Jaehyun blames himself for Mark’s death too. It was heavy for him too. You don’t see it, but Jaehyun was looking for comfort too, someone that will tell him completely that its not his fault. But nobody showed up for him.

He did’t showed up during Mark’s funeral. And you got mad at him.

“How many times do I have to tell you? I didn’t know!” Jaehyun shouted for the nth time.

It was loud and clear of course, but he didn’t even let everyone who cared mourned for Mark and made everyone work again like nothing happened.

“It’s just how everything goes around here Y/n!!! We live in a deadly world!!!”

“A deadly world that you and your father built Jeong Yoonoh. If you don’t care about the goodness in this world anymore, I don’t want to be a part of it” you said crying.

Your words pierced through Jaehyun’s heart especially you called him ‘Yoonoh’, he was scared to the core that you might leave him this time, and this fight cannot be fixed anymore. Not to mention your freedom is getting near. You have every right and power to leave.

“So where are you going to build a life now?” You were talking to Yuta and Taeyong about their plans when they get away from this prison. It makes you happy, knowing that they can be free and live the life they want.

“Japan. To my family, I’m taking Taeyong with me. He plans on establishing a bakery there” Yuta answered. “How about you?”

You scoffed, “what about me? Did you guys forget that I’m a Jeong now? I cant leave him”

“We all know you love him. But he’s drowning of power now and — I cant even recognize him anymore” Yuta says.

“He’s not the Jaehyun that we grew up with, he’s not the Jaehyun that you loved anymore. Faced that truth” Taeyong said sternly. “You’ve earned your freedom. Think about it. Think long and hard”

When the day finally arrived that Taeyong and Yuta are free from the Jeongs it was a bittersweet goodbye. You’re happy for them, but you were sad for yourself. You remember the first day that you guys met and the first mission, everything was all worth it you thought.

“Don’t act like you’re still not free Y/n. You too, you’re free now. Don’t stay here” Taeyong explains for the last time.

Looking back a few years from now, you and Jaehyun were both excited for your own freedom and were of course, looking forward to finally leaveing everything behind. You remember how fiercely you loved each other during those times, and you remember how Jaehyun literally looked like a ball of sunshine. Who lights up your day and make everything better in a matter of seconds.

Now… everything about Jaehyun is dark. His aura, his eyes, the way he talks… everything. He really looked like a Jeong now. High, mighty and scary.

“So did they left?” Jaehyun asks. He was drinking alone at the kitchen counter, he looked wasted. You noticed he has a new tattoo on his hand, you didn’t bother asking the story behind it. You just nod at his question and avoid him for the rest of the night.

Ever since Mark’s death, you and Jaehyun stopped sleeping on the same bed, and stopped talking to each other dearly, but you sure do want to stay. But on times like this, especially when you’re lonely, you don’t know why you keep on staying with him. In this place. Truth be told you would rather sleep on the headquarters than this cold and dark place. It’s not that you hated seeing him, his presence still make your heart skip a beat, happy because he’s alive and well. And well… physically you could be together. You’re thankful regardless.

Jaehyun hears your cry every night, it breaks his heart too. Knowing that he’s not enough to make you happy anymore even though he’s doing everything he can to make this life bearable for you. But no matter how hard he tries… he’s not enough.

This is his worst nightmare. Watching your marriage fall apart because he can’t give you the life he promised.

Even though you wanted to break free, you stayed and work for Jaehyun. You kill for him, train new assassins for him, but you were never given the chance to become a proper wife anymore.

It was a quiet afternoon when you just got back from a mission that Doyoung rushed you to finish. You don’t know why he was in a hurry but you were so pissed that you showed up in his office with blood in your hands and face.

“What the fuck do you want?” You shouted. You assumed that it was Doyoung who’s sitting behind that chair but no… it was Jaehyun. And Doyoung was the one sitting beside the table.

You never thought that this day would come.

The day when you received a mission from Jaehyun. Not from Doyoung. From Jaehyun directly.

It hurt you so much seeing him all worked up and stressed, he can’t even look you in the eye as he explains what needs to be done. But after he’s done explaining the mission, he put out his handkerchief and wipes the blood off your face. “Can you give us the room?” Jaehyun politely asked to Doyoung which he followed of course.

“I know this is hard for you, because it’s hard for me too” he let out a heavy sigh before continuing… you thought that this time he’s going to say he misses you or say something that will brighten up the mood. But he didn’t.

“I need you to not fail this mission” he added.

And that made you mad. You wanted to shout at him, you wanted to punch him but you knew that staying silent and avoiding him at all costs will hurt him even more.

It was quiet. Jaehyun was waiting for you to break the silence.

“Can I have the name?” You asked without looking at him.

“It’s Kun” he says, and after collecting all the paper work that you needed from the desk you bravely left your wedding ring.

You didn’t dare asked how the fuck is Kun still alive. You have so many questions but you didn’t dare asked him because that small room is suffocating you. Not to mention your little skit about the ring. He didn’t even bother coming after you when you left the room. That’s just means you mean nothing to him.

By the time you started the mission, you thought that he will be hard to find but no. He contacted you directly and gave you an invitation for dinner in the skies. Of course you accepted it, even though you had direct orders from Jaehyun that you are not allowed to have a conversation with him.

“Do you love flying this much?” You asked him. He just smiled.

“This way, there’s no other assassins that could kill me, no people listening, just pure privacy. Just you and me”

You watch him pour another glass of champagne and watch him take a sip, you noticed he was shaking.

“I don’t have anything up in my sleeves too because I’m only here to tell you the truth” there was a slight pause, you wait for him to have the courage but truth be told, you’re not ready to hear what he’s about to say.

“While you were on coma, back then, Jaehyun found me after killing my double. I was afraid to die in his hands especially when I wasn’t the one who poisoned you — it wasn’t me, I promise. It was Jaehyun’s father. And I know that because… well we Phantoms are always 5 times ahead” he joke, you agreed.

“But when I told Jaehyun that truth… he made a deal with me. I kill his father and the Jeongs will not come after me anymore, and I become the boss. I fucked up. I admit. Got excited and killed his father first. Not knowing that Mr. Jeong is as smart as Jaehyun. His final will and testament just made Jaehyun untouchable and impossible to replace. Time passed and the man you love changed and now drowning in power—“

“You don’t need to tell my life’s story. I’m well aware—“ you tried to cut him off but he continued.

“ And here you are. He even sent his wife to clean up his mess. Are you sure you’re married to the right person?”

Kun noticed you don’t have your wedding ring. He thought maybe you left him “Good choice” he added without even asking you.

After knowing the truth while watching the sun go down high above the skies, Kun helped you stage his death and you agreed to let him go because he proved to you that he’s innocent.

When you get back, Jaehyun was happy that you didn’t fuck up… for a short time…but soon found out that Kun’s death was just staged. And so Jaehyun killed him with his own hands. He turned a blind eye about you being a traitor because he knew that you’re already fed up of what’s happening to your lives now.

But on top of it all, he already knew that one of these days, you will decide to leave him.

You on the other hand has succumbed into the darkness of your room and stayed there for days without talking to anyone, and without eating anything. All you want to do is get away from this place and live your life alone. Even if the thought of leaving Jaehyun hurts you so much already.

One night, Jaehyun tried to make everything right by bravely visiting you into your room, he promised to himself that he will do everything tonight just to make everything right. If he gets lucky he will hand you your wedding ring again.

He didn’t knock and just welcomed himself into your room. He found you staring at your window while you’re comfortably laying in your bed. He didn’t want to disturb your peace but he has to do this and try to win you back.

“I’m sorry” he whispers sweetly, and lay on the bed with you. He wrapped his arms around you but it felt like he’s suffocating you instead of comforting you. Suddenly Jaehyun doesn’t feel like home anymore.

“What kind of person kills his own father?” You started.

Shocked that you already know the truth, Jaehyun couldn’t handle what’s happening in front of him now.

“I did it so we could live peacefully—“

“Look at us now Jaehyun. You did this to us. You’re drowning of power—“

“That’s not true” Jaehyun defends.

“Then what is. I don’t even know you anymore, I’m hurt Jaehyun. I’m hurt that we’re fighting right now, I’m hurt that were not together anymore but I felt safe when I turned my back on you. I don’t want to be a Jeong”

“So this it? You’re really leaving me?”

“I believe that I’m not the right person for you”

There was silence. Suffocating silence for both you and Jaehyun. You continue to cry and forget that he’s in the room with you, while Jaehyun just sat there on the edge of your bed. The whole conversation did not include any screaming, maybe you two got tired of screaming already.

Jaehyun has a lot to say. But this is the furthest he can go with you.

This is the end.

Thank you so much for reading this work of mine! If you love what you read, please leave something in my inbox and tell me how you feel! CLICK THIS LINK. I hope we can practice, give and take.

Stay tuned for the next part! -B.

[winchesterwild78]

Teacher

Characters: Jensen x Reader

Warnings: Mention of divorce, Fluff, SMUT!, Protected sexual contact, Be smart, wrap it up people

A/N: Just a short story I came up with from another picture I was tagged in. I’ve never played guitar, so I’m just going with it. Please overlook any errors with the guitar lessons. 😂 Absolutely no disrespect to Jensen or his family. This is a work of fiction and does not depict real life. All work is my own, and I do not give permission for it to be taken without my permission. Feel free to like and reblog.

Minors DNI 18+

You’d been a teacher for over 10 years and loved working with children. It had been something you’d wanted to do since you were little. Before Summer Break you would always ask your teachers for extra worksheets so you could play teacher over the break. You’d make your brother and sister play with you. You of course were the teacher. 

After breaking up with your husband you decided a move and change of scenery was in the cards. Your parents had moved to Texas a few years ago, so you decided to head home. They were letting you live with them until you got on your feet. 

You adored your parents, but as a woman who was almost 40 you didn’t want to live there long. So, you got a local teaching job and offered private guitar lessons on the side. Stacy, a colleague of yours suggested you advertise in the local paper, and on Facebook marketplace. So you did. 

Her husband offered you a space at his building so you had somewhere neutral to meet people at. You were so grateful, because he didn’t charge you rent. Any money you made from the lessons went right in your pocket. 

You checked your email after dinner and saw an email from someone asking for lessons. You emailed the person back, who said his name was Jay, and gave him the details. The two of you agreed to meet Thursday at 6pm. You offered the first lesson for free, that way the both of you could get a feel for each other. You could make sure they weren’t crazy, and find out how much teaching they needed, and they could see if you could offer them what they needed in lessons. 

The week went quickly and it was time to head to your first lesson. You were excited and hoped “Jay” was not psycho and you could actually have a client. You arrived at the space and started setting up the room. Stacy’s husband had put a couch, chairs and tables in the room to help make it comfortable. You were grateful to have such a nice space to hold lessons in. 

About 10 minutes to 6, you heard a knock on the door. “Come in” you called from the other side of the room. “Hello, I’m looking for Ms. Y/L/N, I’m Jay.” You turned around to greet the man and stopped dead in your tracks. “Um, you can call me Y/N.” Standing before you was none other than Jensen Ackles. You’d been a fan for years and really couldn’t believe he was standing in your studio. 

He stepped forward and extended his hand, “Hello, Y/N. I’m Jensen, but you can call me Jay.” You shook his hand, “Honestly, I know who you are. I’ve been a fan for years. I understand if you’d rather not go forward with the lessons.” “No, darlin’ I’m sorry I wasn’t honest with who I was. I hope you understand.” You nodded, “So, Mr. Ackles, if you’re ready to get started we can. I have my clients start playing so I can see what you know and what you need to practice. I’m ready whenever you are.” 

Jensen took out his guitar, “Please, call me Jensen, and I’m ready.” Jensen started playing and you watched intently. The way he gripped the fretboard had you biting your lip. His pressure was perfect and his fingers held the pick like he was holding something delicate. 

He flicked his green eyes up at you as he played, and you swallowed hard. Damn how am I going to teach him how to play guitar when all I can think about is his fingers playing my body like he’s playing the strings on that guitar. God is there nothing he can’t do?! 

Jensen stopped playing and you looked at him confused. “Jensen, are you sure you need lessons? You sounded great, and your grip is perfect.” “Yeah, I like to practice and I figured I’d hire someone to give me pointers. I’ve been writing songs with a buddy of mine, and I want to contribute more to the band.”

“I understand that. I’ll be happy to help with whatever you need.” For some reason after you said that blush filled your cheeks. Jensen smirked at you, “I’ll keep that in mind, darlin’.” The rest of the session was filled with small talk, and he showed you the song he was working on. You gave him some pointers on it, and when he made the changes he thought it sounded better. 

The lesson was supposed to last an hour and when you finally looked at the clock you realized it was almost 9pm. “Oh my goodness, I am so sorry, Jensen. I didn’t realize what time it was. I monopolized your whole evening.” Jensen took your hand and smiled. Electricity shot through your body and your breath hitched. “It’s okay. I really enjoyed my time with you tonight. When do you think we could continue the lessons?” 

“Um, I’m available whenever. Honestly I don’t have much of a social life.” “Well, how about we meet back here tomorrow night at 6, I’ll bring dinner, and we can work some more.” “That sounds great, Jensen. I can’t wait.” Jensen stood, and put his guitar away, “Great, it’s a date.” 

You smiled and nodded, “Yeah, it’s a date then. See you later Jensen.” Jensen stepped towards you, your heart pounding in your chest, he was inches from your face. “See you later, Y/N.” Then he placed a soft kiss on your cheek. The two of you exchanged phone numbers so you could text whenever you needed to.

He spun on his heels and left you standing in the middle of the room. You touched your cheek and let out the breath you were holding. You closed up for the night and walked to your car. As you got in your car your phone went off. 

Unknown: Hey, it’s Jensen. I hope you don’t mind that I'm texting you. I really enjoyed my time tonight. Looking forward to tomorrow.

You: Hey, Jensen. Yeah, it’s fine you texted. I enjoyed tonight too. I’m looking forward to tomorrow too. I’ll bring dessert. 😀

Jensen: Sounds great. Would you mind texting me when you get home. I just want to make sure you get home safely.

You: Yeah, sure.

You put your phone down and started driving home. You smiled thinking Jensen wanted you to text him. Honestly you felt like you were dreaming. Jensen Ackles was your client, and was texting you. How is this real life?

You pulled in the driveway and walked in the house. Your mom was on the couch and your dad was asleep in the chair. “Hey honey, you’re home late. How did the lesson go?” “Oh, hey mom, yeah it went a little over. We are meeting again tomorrow.” “That’s great, dinner is in the fridge if you’re hungry.” You walked over to your mom and hugged her, “Thanks mom. I appreciate it.” 

Walking to the kitchen you pulled out your phone and sent Jensen a text.

You: Hey, just wanted to let you know I’m safely at home. About to eat some dinner.

Jensen: Glad you got home safe. Thanks for letting me know. So, what’s for dinner?

You smiled at your phone. He’s really wanting to chat with me. Oh I hope I don’t embarrass myself.  

You: Mom made supper and put it in the fridge. I’m not sure yet. 

Jensen: That’s sweet. So, you live with your parents or did your mom just cook you something.

Shit, Jensen, now you’re going to scare her away. Why ask her if she lives at home. What does it matter?

Jensen: I’m sorry, that came across as intrusive. I didn’t mean it like that.

You: It wasn’t. Yeah I moved back in with them not that long ago. After my divorce I needed a change of scenery so I came home. Just trying to save up some money to move out on my own. 

Jensen: I’m sorry to hear about your divorce. Speaking from experience they can be hard. 

You: Yeah, they aren’t for the faint of heart. It looks like mom made roasted chicken, potatoes and veggies. 

Jensen: Yum, sounds delicious. I can let you go so you can eat.

You: You don’t have to. I can chat and eat. If you want to.

Jensen: I do.

You: So, what’s Jensen Ackles doing taking guitar lessons?

Jensen: I’m just trying to hone my skills so I can get better at it. Figured I’d get pointers from a professional.

You: I can appreciate that. As a teacher I try to learn what I can and invest in my knowledge when I can. Practice makes progress. 😀

Jensen: So true. If you don’t mind me asking, how long were you married?

You: About 13 years. We just drifted apart and were more roommates than anything. We decided to split, so I moved back home.

Jensen: I’m sorry. That’s tough. 

You: Thanks. So enough about my failed love life. What got you interested in music?

Jensen: I’ve always played and music helps me relax, so I wanted to explore music as an outlet to help with stress.

You: That sounds amazing. I’m glad I can be a part of it.

Jensen: Me too, I can’t wait for our session tomorrow. 

You: Me either. Well, I hate to cut this short, but I need to get ready for bed. I have to be up early for work tomorrow.

Jensen: No problem, I understand. Thanks for chatting with me. I’ll see you tomorrow.

You: Yeah, thanks for chatting. I’ll see you tomorrow. Good night, Jensen.

Jensen: Good night, Y/N. Sleep well. 

You put your phone down and smiled. You couldn’t believe this was happening. Putting your dishes in the sink, you went upstairs to take a shower and get ready for bed. When you finally crawled into bed, you were too excited to sleep. Thinking about Jensen and the kiss on your cheek, made your heart flutter. You finally fell asleep after laying awake for at least an hour, thinking about him and what tomorrow night would bring. 

The next day at work you couldn’t help but wear a smile all day. Your colleagues and students noticed it. Stacy walked up to you after dismissal, “Hey, girl. What’s got you smiling so much?” “Nothing much. I just feel like things are starting to fall into place. I have lessons lined up, I love this job, and I just feel free.” She hugged you, “I’m happy for you. What are your plans for this weekend?” “Well, I have another lesson tonight, but I'm not sure about the rest of the weekend. I think I’m just going to relax.” “That’s great, well I’ll see you later, bye Y/N.” “Bye girl, have a great weekend.”

You gathered your stuff and headed towards your car. You noticed a text from Jensen, “Hey, how was your day?” You smiled and sent him a reply, “It was great, how was your day?” “It was good. I volunteered at the kids’ school today, so that was fun. I’m looking forward to tonight.” “Me too, I’ll text you more when I get home.” 

You drove home and went inside, greeting your parents. “Hey, mom. I have another lesson tonight, so I won’t be home until later. I’m getting dinner out tonight.” “Okay, sounds good.” 

You went to your room, grabbed a change of clothes and went to take a shower before you had to meet Jensen. Before jumping in the shower, you sent Jensen a text.

You: Just got home, jumping in the shower. 

Jensen: I’m glad you made it home safely, and thanks for the image. 😉

You looked at his reply. Is he flirting with me? 

You: You’re welcome. 😉 Getting in now. I’ll be right back.

Jensen: I’ll be waiting.

You took a quick shower, dried off and looked at the outfit you picked. Suddenly it didn’t seem good enough. You sighed and started looking through your clothes. You’re overthinking this. He’s there for lessons, nothing more. Get that out of your head. Oh but good lord did you see how his fingers pressed on those strings, and how his hand held the guitar. You bit your lip thinking about Jensen. 

Grabbing your dark blue lace bra and matching panties, you slid them on. You decided on your favorite jeans, that fit you just right, and one of your band t-shirts. You decided to leave your hair down, but grabbed a hair tie for later. 

Grabbing your phone you sent Jensen a text.

You: Okay, I’m done and getting ready to head out the door. I’ll be at the studio shortly if you decide to come early.

Jensen: Great, I’m almost ready so I’ll be heading that way soon too. What are you wearing? 😜

You: *sent picture* 😉

Jensen’s name kept popping up showing he was texting but nothing came through.

Shit! I shouldn’t have sent it. Great, now he’s thinking of a way to back out. 

Jensen: Wow, you look beautiful. I can’t wait to see you in person.

You: Thank you. I can’t wait to see you either. 

You blushed as you put your phone away. Heading down the stairs your mom looked at you. “Well don’t you look beautiful, must be some lesson.” She winked at you. “Mom, I’m just wearing jeans and a t-shirt.” “Okay, baby. Have fun tonight.” “Thanks mom, bye.”

You stopped at the store and grabbed a chocolate cake with chocolate frosting, you knew it was his favorite and headed to the studio. As you walked up to unlock the door you heard a sultry voice behind you, “Hello, darlin’.” A shiver went down your spine. You knew it was Jensen before you even turned around. 

You turned and smiled, “Hey, Jensen.” You looked him up and down, damn did he look good. You bit your lip as a slight blush filled your cheeks and a yearning filled your core. Unlocking the door, the two of you stepped in. “Let’s sit everything down over here on the counter.” You motioned towards the counter on the right. 

Jensen sat the food down and saw the cake in your hands. “Did you really get a cake?” He asked excitedly. You nodded, “Yep, chocolate with chocolate frosting. Your favorite.” Jensen smiled at you and stepped closer to you, putting his hands on your waist he pulled you close. Your breath hitched. You could smell his intoxicating cologne. He smelled woodsy and like mint. 

Jensen brushed a stray hair back and hugged you, “Thank you.” Your heart was racing and you felt like you couldn’t breathe. You swallowed hard, “You’re welcome, Jensen.” You whispered. 

The two of you stared at each other for a few minutes before pulling away. Jensen cleared his throat, “So I hope you don’t mind, but I picked up some BBQ from my favorite place downtown.” “BBQ is perfect, thank you.” Jensen pulled the containers out of the bag and you grabbed plates and silverware. The two of you grabbed some food and started eating.

The conversation over dinner was comfortable. Both of you talked about your family, you talked about your job, and the conversation drifted towards both of your failed marriages. You learned his marriage ended kinda like yours did. He and his ex just drifted apart. They both were gone all the time, and even though they tried to make it work, they just grew apart. 

After the food was done, you were cleaning up and Jensen got out his guitar and music. While you cleaned, he played and sang. You could listen to him sing all day long. You stopped cleaning and leaned against the counter watching him. 

The intensity in his eyes drove you wild. As he sang the vein in his neck popped out and you gasped. The shirt he was wearing showed off his toned body, and as he played his biceps flexed, causing you to clench your thighs and bite your lower lip. 

Jensen looked up and noticed you were watching him, he also noticed the pink in your cheeks. He smiled at you. His green eyes seemed to sparkle. You finished cleaning and took a seat next to him. You were so flustered you could barely play your guitar, and he laughed. “Come here darlin’, let me show you the cord. He grabbed your hand and placed his fingers on yours, helping you play the notes. His hot breath rushed across your neck and his body pressed firmly behind yours. 

Your breath hitched as you felt his firm fingers on yours. You turned your face to face him, “Jensen…” Before you could finish your sentence, his lips pressed against yours. You pulled back. “Oh god, I am so sorry, Y/N.” Jensen jumped up and started to pack his guitar away. You walked over to him, touched his arm, “Jensen, it’s okay.” He stood up and looked at you. You stepped closer to him, looking in his eyes. He closed the distance between you two, cupped your face in his hands and crashed his lips on yours. 

You melted into his touch, and moaned in his mouth. His hands slid down your arms and pulled you by your waist closer to him. Your hands went behind his neck and your fingers danced in his hair. 

Both of you deepen the kiss, Jensen’s tongue licked your lips, begging for entrance. You parted your mouth and soon your tongues were doing an intricate dance in each other’s mouth, fighting for dominance. 

Jensen walked you back to the couch, not parting from your lips. Soon the need for air became too much. You both pulled away panting for air. Jensen sat down and pulled you down on his lap. You were straddling him and he pulled you back into his lips. 

His hands traveled up your shirt and held onto your back. You could feel his growing erection and it excited you. Jensen’s fingers played with the hem of your shirt and you leaned up, giving him permission to remove it. His hands slid down and pulled your shirt up and over your head. 

Jensen’s eyes turned dark with lust when he saw your lace bra. You could almost hear a low growl. You were self-conscious about your body and tried to hide a little. I mean, this is Jensen Ackles, he has dated and married movie stars and models. “Baby, don’t hide your body, you’re perfect.” He kissed down your collarbone, to your covered breasts. 

You threw your head back at the contact. God his lips and fingers felt amazing on your body.

Jensen leaned forward a bit, and removed his shirt. Exposing his perfectly toned body. You groaned and danced your fingers down his chest. Jensen stood, lifting you up like you weighed nothing, spun you around and gently laid you on the couch. “Can I take these off?” He asked, motioning to your pants. You nodded yes, not trusting your voice. His fingers brushed against your skin as he unbuttoned the top button and unzipped your pants. 

Your breathing grew faster as your heart pumped wildly in your chest. You lifted your hips and he pulled down your pants and panties in one pull. He groaned when he saw your exposed body, laying, waiting for him. You laid on the couch, in nothing but your bra. Jensen’s hands slipped behind you and you leaned forward letting him unhook your bra. As you laid back down, Jensen’s fingers danced over your shoulders and slid down your straps. Lightly raking your skin with his fingertips. 

Goosebumps erupted on your skin as he touched you. Exposing your breasts, Jensen leaned back looking over your now naked form. You wanted to hide your body, but he wouldn’t let you. You were breathing faster as the anticipation in the room crackled with thickness. Jensen stood and removed his pants and boxers. 

You let out a shuddered breath as you took in his perfect, toned body. His cock was hard and longer than you expected. You bit your lip to stifle the moan that threatened to escape your mouth. 

“You okay, sweetheart? Are you sure you want this?” “Yes, Jensen. I’m sure.” Jensen nodded and kissed down your torso. He used his fingers to part your folds, feeling how wet you are. His fingers danced in and out of your folds, pressing your engorged clit, like he was playing an instrument. He knew how to work your body, like he had been doing it for years. His strong, calloused fingers found their way inside you. You moaned and gripped the couch as he hooked his fingers up. “Oh Jensen. Just like that. Oh god that feels so good.” Jensen’s fingers moved in and out of you, while his thumb rubbed circles on your clit. You felt yourself getting closer to your release. Flush filling your face, sweat beading on your forehead. Your ragged breath mixed with the instinctive moans filled the room. “Come on baby, I can feel you getting close, just let go for me. You can do it.” “Oh Jensen, I’m gonna cum!” “Cum for me, Y/N.” With that you were pushed over the edge. You came hard, so hard you saw stars. 

Jensen rubbed until you were a squirming mess under him. As he helped you ride your high, he removed his fingers. You moaned at the loss of fullness. “You ready for me, sweetheart?” “Yes, Jensen, I need you. Please.” 

Jensen retrieved a condom from his wallet and pumped himself a few times before putting it on. He slid it on and positioned himself between your legs. The tip of his cock pushed past your folds and into you. As Jensen pushed in, both of you let out a primal moan. He stopped, trying not to cum. “Sorry I need a minute.” He whispered. You giggled. He leaned up and started pumping in and out. His lips landed on yours as you wrapped your legs around his waist. Jensen was gentle with you, and with each thrust he stretched you like you’d never been stretched before.

His hands explored every inch of your body, your eyes kept finding each other’s and each time, Jensen softly kissed you. Every thrust, every touch felt like home. Your body was his and his was yours. Even if just in that moment. Jensen pulled you on top of him as he sat up, not pulling out of you. The change in position had you gripping his shoulders as you rode him. He was deeper than he was before. Each bounce sent you closer to your second release. You began bouncing as Jensen sucked on your breasts. “Jensen, I’m gonna cum again.” “Me too, cum for me baby.” You came hard around his cock, your walls squeezing his shaft and pulling his release out of him. With a thrust and a grunt, Jensen came too. Shooting his load into the condom. 

As he finished, he leaned his forehead against yours and placed a soft kiss on your lips. Both of you had a light sheen on your bodies from the sweat. Your face was flush and so was his, and both of you were softly panting. 

You slowly got off of him, making sure not to pull off the condom. Moving to the side, Jensen stood, placed another kiss on your lips and walked over to the trash can to remove the condom and clean himself up. You started to pull on your clothes, when he walked back over. He pulled you into his arms and kissed you again. “That was amazing, Y/N. Absolutely perfect.” You smiled, “Yes it was, thank you, Jensen.” He smiled and kissed you again.

You both got dressed and sat on the couch, holding each other. The room was filled with silence. Clearing your throat, you sat up and looked at him, “So, what does this mean? I’m fine if it was just to blow off steam. I just want to know.” “Well, I’d like to see where this goes, if you’re up for it.” Jensen looked at you as he said it. “Really, Jensen? I would love that.” “Good, because I’ve always wanted to say I was hot for teacher.” You laughed, and so did he. 

Tags are open, if you want to be added, let me know.  

Tags: @nescaveckdaily  @kr804573 @k-slla @jackles010378 @jawritter

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@shadowqueen1318 @shanimallina87

[allkindfangirl]

jealousy jealousy I lando norris

pairing: lando norris x reader

disclaimer: this is fiction, no hate for anyone, english isn't my first language

summary: in which your boyfriend Lando is liked by everyone and that sometimes makes things hard

It wasn't your first time visiting a race, but just like every time you were nervous. There were thousands of people, cameras, and the race itself had always been thrilling.

Lando looked at you, with a reassuring face, knowing how you didn't like so many people around you, still he was happy you were here with him. He needed you by his side on raceday, kind of as his lucky charm. And even when the races weren't going good, he always knew that you'd be there afterwards.

It was lunch time when you and Lando decided to grab something to eat and then find a spot to spend the remaining couple of hours before the race together. It didn't bother you when Pierre and Kika joined your lunch break. But their accompany bothered you. You weren't an unfriendly person, always very polite and everyone who met you immediately liked you. But it was different with people who didn't show you any respect. She was a friend of Pierre and Kika and you'd seen her at a couple of races now. It was normal for the drivers to bring friends but it seemed like she wasn't interested in the sport at all. Much more, she was interested in your boyfriend. It was obvious for everyone, though, the others only brushed it off with a laughter when the girl would place her hand on Landos shoulder while telling him something to make him laugh.

You didn't mind people wanting to meet your boyfriend. You had always been proud of him, of how good he was, how polite and funny he was and how everyone liked to have him around. But it wasn't like she respected your presence or your existence. It felt like you were always invisible for her and she was just waiting to shoot her shot with your boyfriend.

"So, are you going to show me around?", the girl in the white, short dress asked Lando. He scoffed about her bluntness, knowing that she wasn't really interested, but only interested to have all his attention for herself. Pierre and Kika had already left the conversation, leaving you standing there alone, observing the scene in front of you. "Uhm- yeah sure.", Lando stumpled with a light but unsure grin on his face. He was polite, as always. He wasn't someone to turn down peoples favors. He had manners and you respected that even though you were feeling sick in your stomach. Lando gave you a last look. A look of apologies and pity as the two of them walked off so he could show the girl around.

It took Lando about 20 minutes to find you in the paddock. You were fuming, not because of him but because of her. It wasn't the first time she had tried to get him alone. But you were also angry about yourself, about letting it get to you. You couldn't admit being jealous. Well, you weren't afraid of anything happening between them. You were just simply not okay with her flirting so uninhibited with your boyfriend.

"I'm sorry.", Lando said quietly, rolling his eyes. He leaned down to you, as you were sitting in front of the hospitality, sipping on your iced coffee. His lips pecked yours, making sure everything was okay between the two of you.

"It's fine.", you said. He sat down next to you, his eyes speaking to you without him saying a word. He gave into your touch on his cheek, caressing his skin. You knew he was the best man you could ever ask for, not wanting to harm anyone's feelings but you knew he would always come back to you.

-

don't know where this came from but i just couldn't stop thinking about it. hope you like it. also FIRST TIME WRITING FOR LANDO. he is driving me crazy rn.

requests are open

my masterlist

[bluejutdae]

Okay hear me out kissing in the rain with our lovely stray kids. Reading Charms newest fake text just reminded me of my love of being kissed in the rain I want it so bad and since I am a single Pringle I will have to settle for fiction

Sorry it took me so long, darling, this couple of weeks have been so tiring, but I wanted to do this! Hope you like it ❣️

Chan: I think Chan would grab you by your hand and make you spin under the rain, and when you’re face to face, he’ll pull you closer to him to kiss you. He’ll sway on his feet, making you sway on time with him. Like a slow dance, but too focused on kissing you to really pay attention to his feet. He’d cup your head and kiss you filthy and passionately. After a few minutes he’d insist on going home because ‘it’s cold’ (he’s actually horny).

Minho: he would roll his eyes and pretend to hate it, but in secret he loves seeing you look like a wet kitten, so he peppers your face with kisses and finishes with a slow deep kiss that takes your breath away.

Changbin: giggling. Giggles, all the giggles! He’d jump in a puddle and run under the rain, pulling you with him. He’s the kind of boyfriend to put is tongue out to have the rain fall onto his tongue. He makes you twirl under he rain and kisses you laughing. (He then insists on running home to take a warm shower - together).

Hyunjin: super hyper romantic Hyunjin would wait for a rainy day to confess. Hair wet and clinging to his face, rivulets of water drawing wet lines in his cheeks as he repeats he loves you again and again. He picks you up to kiss you better, with your hands in his hair and the taste of rain on your lips.

Jisung: he forgets his umbrella, and he has to walk under the rain too often. But you forget yours too, so you’re holding hands and running under every canopy that gives you shelter. You’re soaked wet, and there’s not much point in still trying to protect yourself from the rain. With just a smirk, you start running in the street, directly under the rain, laughing and screaming. He grabs you by your wrist to pull you closer and kisses you. “You’re the best thing that happened to me”.

Felix: I’m convinced Felix is a wild boy. Bare feet and at ease in the nature, he loves the feeling of the cool rain on his heated skin. He loves summer rain. So it’s not unusual for him to drag you under the cool rain on a humid summer day, arms spread and spinning like a mad man, crazy smile on his lips and your names screamed to make you join him. As soon as you get close to him, he kisses your nose, your lips, your cheeks, and he smiles so brightly, it’s almost like the sun is shining on you.

Seungmin: he’s the opposite of Felix. You have to drag him under the rain, insisting it’s for a romantic moment. Deep down, he’d do anything for you, but he’s not gonna admit it easily. So he drags his feet, hand clasping yours, and soft voice lamenting your choice, but he still follows you. When he kisses you, tho, there’s nothing holding him back. His hands held you from your head and your hip, his lips are demanding on yours and all you can feel now, it’s him and the rain slowly seeping through your clothes.

Jeongin: not really sure about him. He’s either be feral and chase after you under the rain just to kiss you when he finally catches you — filthy and full of spit, because who cares? If you’re gonna run under the rain like animals, might as well disregard all social norms, right? Or he’s gonna be like the main character of a romcom, picking you up in the middle of the street while you’re crossing the road just to kiss you, and if the cars start honking because you’re holding up traffics, then (again) who cares?

[dontaskmemybias]

Plus One

Pairing: Non Idol!Lee Felix x afab reader

Request: No

Theme: Roommates to Lovers

Contains: Fluffiest fluff, cursing, suggestive themes.

Word Count: 4,798 words

Note: This is a work of fiction and does not portray any of the members irl. I might make a part two to this if y'all are interested!

PART TWO

_

When you moved into town you were DESPERATE for a new roommate, you asked everyone and it turns out that a friend of a friend of an old college roommate had someone he knew who was looking for a roommate. It felt like the universe was on your side when you heard the news and you almost cried from happiness, but there was a catch (of course there was) the roommate was a dude.

Now the thing is usually you wouldn't mind rooming with a guy, you've lived with quite a few and other than them leaving messes for you to clean up occasionally they had all been pretty decent. You were worried because you had never met this Felix guy before so you had absolutely no idea what to expect. But everyone who had met the guy swore up and down that he was a great guy, very respectful, and made killer brownies, so you decided to meet up with him in person to judge for yourself.

The day came that you were supposed to meet up with Felix at a local café and get to know him, see if you would get along. You decided that if he was going to live with you it didn't really matter what you looked like, so you popped on your favorite oversized hoodie and a pair of leggings and made your way to the café. When you got there you shot him a text to let him know where you were sitting after grabbing an iced coffee. After what felt like five seconds you heard someone clearing their throat.

"Y/N?"

You looked up to see who the crazy deep voice belonged to and almost jumped out of your seat when your eyes laid on the most gorgeous person you'd ever seen. He looked like a fae creature, his long blonde hair caressing his face, the freckles across his cheeks looked like beautiful constellations, and he was dressed in a button-up layered under a beige sweater-vest and perfectly fitted blue jeans. Your brain did a hard reset and you realized he had asked you a question.

"Oh, shit, sorry, yeah I'm Y/N, you must be Felix?"

He smiled and you swore he looked like a ray of sunshine come down to Earth, you had to stop yourself from staring as he let out a low chuckle.

"Yep that's me! Am I not what you expected? You look... kinda shocked to be honest." he lightly chuckled and ran his hand over the nape of his neck.

"Oh no! Sorry I didn't really have expectations, I just feel like I should've dressed nicer is all." you looked down and cringed at your outfit choice.

"Oh! No worries! I think you look great!" He flashed you a toothy smile and slid into the seat next to you. "So, what do you want to know? I'm pretty much an open book!"

~✨~

That was six months ago. Six very long months of living with the most gorgeous creature to ever walk the Earth. You had to tell yourself at least once a day to get your shit together and stop ogling your roommate whenever he did the smallest thing like stretch his arms up to reveal a sliver of his lower abdomen or bake you brownies when work had you stressed out.

Not to mention his habit of touching and cuddling you.

His friends had warned you when you first met them that Felix loved skinship and he would probably break down your personal bubble like he did to all of them. But NOTHING could have prepared you for the amount of physical affection this man gave you. It started small of course, testing the waters, knees touching on the sofa during your weekly movie nights, holding your hand when you went out so you didn't get separated, things like that. But over time knee touching became full on cuddle sessions on the couch while you watched your favorite movies. Holding your hand at the bar became a hand wrapped around your waist. Eventually Felix had come to you in the middle of the night because his insomnia was acting up and he couldn't sleep and you offered to let him cuddle you. Now you two spent almost every night in your bed together.

It was honestly really nice. You hadn't dated anyone in years and you desperately craved physical affection. Nobody would guess it by looking at you, but secretly, you were just as much of a cuddle bug as Felix was.

The only problem is with every lingering touch, every time he fell asleep in your arms, you fell harder for him.

This became abundantly clear last Tuesday when he came bouncing through the apartment like someone had just given him a puppy.

~✨~

"Y/N~ guess whaaaattttt!!"

"What's up 'Lix?"

"My work is throwing a huge end of year party and I GET TO BRING A PLUSSS OOONNEEEE!!" He looked positively giddy at the idea of bringing a plus one, but you didn't know why. Felix is also going through a romantic dryspell.

"Is that so? Who are you planning on asking? Some cute girl got your eye?" As soon as the words left your mouth you saw the tips of his ears go pink and he looked down at his feet. "Oh. My. God. Does 'Lixxie have a crush on someone?" You teased him, but deep inside you were devastated at the thought of Felix being with someone else.

"No, nothing like that..." Felix trailed off then his eyes met yours and your heart ached at the sight. His cheeks were now a bright pink and he looked so bashful.

"Oh I'm sorry for teasing 'Lixxie you know anyone would be lucky to have you!" You said it sincerely because you really did mean it. Anyone would be lucky to have Felix in their life.

"It's okay, I was actually excited because I wanted to see if you'd come with me..." He looked away and then his eyes met yours again, filled with panic. "I mean not like a date or anything you're justoneofmybestfrie-"

"Felix," you saw his panic and cut him off "no worries, I would love to go with you!" You gave him a big smile. "Plus I would love to meet all the coworkers you've told me about!"

He let out a sigh of relief and smiled back at you. "Okay awesome! Its next Friday at 7pm, the dress is cocktail attire. I know you don't have a ton of clothes like that so I was thinking maybe this weekend we could go shopping? I want to find something to wear as well!" He positively beamed at you. Felix LOVES shopping, but he hates to go alone so you know that he would be really bummed if you said no.

"Of course I'll come with you 'Lix, who else would be able to tell me if my dress looks good or not." You started giggling at the thought of bringing one of the other guys you hung out with dress shopping. "I mean I could always ask Hyunjin but you know how he is." Felix busted out laughing at that, no doubt remembering the time you tore your dress on a fence before going to the bar with the guys and Hyunjin complemented your 'grunge' look before you told him that you had ripped it on the way in.

"Okay so let's hit the mall on Saturday?"

"Sounds good to me!"

~✨~

That is what led to your current situation, going to what felt like 5 billion stores (actually three) and watching your incredibly attractive roommate try on suit after suit.

"Y/N what about this one?"

You looked up to see him clad in a gorgeous blue suit that seemed to fit him just right. You had to stop yourself from literally drooling on the department store floor when he twirled around for you.

"It looks incredible 'Lix, like it was made for you!"

"You've said that about like the last three suits I've tried on." he rolls his eyes and inspects himself in the mirror.

"Well I can't help that all of these fit perfectly on you!" you weren't lying, the last three suits literally looked like they were tailored specifically with him in mind.

"Y/N!" Felix looks over at you and takes your face in his hands, his face is so close you can feel his breath on your nose. "I've just had the most amazing idea."

You tried to hide your blushing face by putting your hands over his and covering more of your face. "What idea?" You ask, trying not to sound too out of breath.

"We should go get you a dress and when we find the perfect one we can come back and I'll get a suit to match you!" He jumps back raising his hands in the air beaming while waiting to hear your response.

The thought of you and Felix matching at this party made your heart flutter a bit, to anyone who didn't know you, you would look like a couple. That thought alone made you feel all sorts of things you should not feel about your roommate. But, despite that, you answered.

"I think that's a great idea 'Lix!"

The look on his face was one of pure joy when you agreed. He runs into the dressing room to switch back into his own clothes leaving behind a VERY flustered roommate.

You looked in the mirror and saw the red tinting your cheeks and hoped that by some miracle Felix didn't notice how flushed you got just from the idea of coordinating outfits (who blushes at that?) you put your cold hands on your cheeks to calm the redness down and waited for Felix to get out of the dressing room so you could go to the dress store next.

~✨~

If there's one thing on this Earth that you hate, it is trying on clothes. It is your personal hell. You hate the way nothing seems to fit, everything is itchy, the dressing rooms are always way too hot and make your face bright red, and the fluorescent lights make everything look that much worse. Your only saving grace today was Felix. Your ray of sunshine, always making sure to complement you but also give you actual feedback.

"No definitely not this one, you'll be way too uncomfortable with the sleeves all night." You smiled at how well he knows you, the sleeves were already bugging you and you knew that you would want to rip them off if you had to spend a whole night in this awful dress.

You had tried on like 50 dresses by now (actually 10) and none of them had the WOW factor, but luck would have it that #51 (11) was in fact the winner. It had a beautiful high neck with a patterned cut down the front to show off your 'assets', it was the perfect length, and it was covered in gorgeous silver glittery designs. This was the one, you were sure of it.

"Hey 'Lix?" you called out from the dressing room.

"What's up gorgeous?" You knew he was getting tired because he tended to call you things like 'beautiful' and 'gorgeous' when he got sleepy, which did not help your situation whatsoever, but it was quite cute.

"I found the dress, but I was thinking, I think it should be a surprise!"

"How are we supposed to match if I don't see the dress?"

"Well I could show you a bit of the fabric? Then you could go off of that?"

"Okay darling that sounds lovely." darling? That was a new one. Thankfully you had time for the massive blush that crept up your cheeks due to the new nickname to dissipate as you changed your clothes. Once you got out your cheeks were just a light pink.

Felix perked up as you walked out holding the dress behind your back and you went over to the checkout. After purchasing the dress you showed Felix a bit of the fabric from the bag and he started giggling. "I like that we are making this a surprise, I think it'll be fun!" And with that you both went to the men's section so Felix could find a matching suit.

Thankfully it didn't take too much time, he found a match almost right away and (of course) it fit him perfectly, or so he told you. He said since your outfit was a surprise, his should be too.

Clothes in hand you drove the two of you back home to get some much needed rest. As soon as you got through the door Felix shot you a devilish look and ran toward your bedroom and flopped down on your bed. You walked in, chuckling lightly, and asked him what he was doing.

"I think it is nap time and naps are always the best with a budddyyyyyy!" He held his arms out and made grabby hands at you. You burst out laughing and headed over to the bed. As soon as you were within his arms reach he pulled you down next to him and started spooning you.

"Y/N, you're my best friend, you know that?" He sleepily whispered to you. You felt your breath hitch at his small confession, but before you could respond you heard his breathing even out and he was asleep. You sighed and pulled the covers up over the two of you and decided that a nap with Felix wasn't the worst thing in the world. So you closed your eyes and drifted off to sleep.

~✨~

All week Felix was so excited about his work party is was basically all he could talk about when the group went out for dinner on Wednesday.

"Y/N and I are matching but we haven't seen each other's outfits and I am soooooo excited to see the dress she picked!" He exclaimed to everyone.

"Dude, we know, it's all you've talked about in the group text since Saturday." Chan chucked at the freckled boy who was positively beaming.

"I'm happy for you guys, it sounds like it will be a really fun time!" Jisung chimed in, smiling back at Felix.

"Anyway, changing the subject. Y/N how's work going?" Seungmin looked over at you with a big smile. You smiled back at him.

"It's going pretty great, I think I'm really getting the hang of things." Everyone seemed to appreciate the change in topics as they all went around the table talking about work and the different things they were now in charge of.

Dinner went by quickly and before you knew it you were heading back home. You and Felix had only had a few glasses of wine with dinner but the buzz was definitely present on the ride home has you both giggled about everything and nothing at all.

When you got through the door Felix pulled you in for a big hug and started playing with your hair. "I really can't wait to see your dress, I'm sure it is going to look amazing." You pulled back a bit so you could see his face and he was still smiling, a light blush was present on his face but you were sure it was just the alcohol in his system.

"I'm so excited to see your outfit too 'Lix! But it is late, we should head to bed."

"Yours or mine?"

It was a harmless question given that you guys stay in each others beds all the time, but usually you go to sleep separately and then Felix will come get in bed with you when he can't sleep. Other than your nap session on Saturday you had never really laid down together ready for bed. Something about the shift in dynamic made your heart wrench a bit, you tried to hide it by smiling back at Felix.

"How about yours tonight?"

When you laid down your mind was racing a million miles per second. You never really slept in Felix's bed, he mostly came to yours. You didn't think about it when you answered him but now you realize that you fucked up. You are surrounded by the smell of Felix, its on his bedsheets, pillows, and, most importantly, on the boy curled up behind you latched on like a baby monkey. Felix's arms are around your whole body, one arm across your chest with his hand on your shoulder, and one across your stomach with his hand on your hip. His leg is even draped over your body so you are surrounded by him.

Looks like you aren't getting much sleep tonight.

~✨~

Sure enough you barley slept the night before and you wake up feeling awful. Normally when you sleep with Felix he wakes up before you and is either in the shower or cooking breakfast, but not this time. This time you woke up to find yourself still surrounded by the boy, but something feels different. You wiggled a little and your face turned bright red when you realized that Felix was not only still fast asleep but sporting a rather large erection that was pressed firmly to your backside.

You needed to remind yourself that with was a natural thing that men's bodies do in the morning and it had nothing to do with the fact that you were pressed against him in the night.

Fuck was it hot in the room or was it just you?

You tried to calm yourself down, but how could you with this beautiful man pressed against you like this? You decided maybe you should get up and act like nothing happened. Before you could get up you heard Felix grumble a bit and pull you in closer to himself.

Well there goes that plan.

You resigned yourself to waiting for Felix to wake up.

~✨~

After what felt like forever Felix finally started to wake up. You decided to save him from embarrassment at his current state you would act like you were asleep until he had released you from his hold. You closed your eyes and waited... and waited... and waited some more. Finally you felt Felix shift a bit and your heart almost stopped when he bent his head down and placed a soft kiss on your cheek before getting out of bed and heading to the shower.

You held your breath until he was out of the room and as soon as you heard the bathroom door shut your hand flew up to the place where he had kissed your cheek and you felt yourself smile at the sweet gesture. You giggled a bit until finally letting yourself get out of Felix's bed and walk into your own room to get ready for the day.

~✨~

It was finally Friday. The day you and Felix had been waiting for. You could barley contain your excitement at work and basically counted the seconds on the clock until it was (finally) time for you to go home. You drove as fast as safely possible and when you flung the door open to your apartment you found Felix waiting for you in the living room with a huge grin on his face.

"It's Friday." Felix simply stated, but you could tell he was as excited for tonight as you were.

"I am SO excited 'Lix! Let's blast some jams and start getting ready!" You beamed back at him and all but ran to your bedroom to get your speaker, Felix close behind you.

The two of you wanted to wait until you were completely ready to show off your outfits so you got ready in your room and he got ready in his with the speaker in the conjoined bathroom between the two of you. It took you both about an hour to get ready and you were shouting back and forth about various different things the whole time.

Finally you were ready. You looked stunning with your half-up hair and all the accessories you bought for the occasion. The dress fit you even better than you remembered. Hands down this was the hottest you'd ever looked in front of you roommate.

"Okay, I'm ready Lix, you ready?" You shouted full of excitement.

"Yeah! On the count of three!"

"One,"

"Two,"

"Three!"

You both opened the doors to your side of the bathroom and stopped, eyes wide on the beauty before you. It took a while for either of you to speak, just taking in the whole fit on the beautiful person in front of you. Finally Felix spoke.

"Wow... you look.... WOW!" He was beaming, completely awe stricken at your ensemble.

"Right back at you handsome." You took in the beautiful silver and black suit he now wore. The suit looked like it was made for Felix, the perfect blend of feminine with its silver floral patterning on the cuffs of the blazer and the ends of the slacks, and handsome with its sharp angles.

Felix held out his hand to you. "My lady, shall we?" You smiled at the gesture and took his hand. He put your entwined hands over your head and twirled you around, leaving you both in a fit of giggles. And with that you left to go to the party.

~✨~

Felix's work Does. Not. Fuck. Around. when it comes to parties. They had rented out a beautiful ballroom and had snacks, an open bar, as well as a rather large dance floor. You and Felix decided to start at the bar. As you were grabbing your drinks a strikingly beautiful woman came up and coldly stared you up and down before placing a hand on Felix's forearm.

"Hey 'Lixxie I'm so glad you made it!" You couldn't tell what Felix was thinking about this woman as he let out a small smile when she addressed him. "This must be the girlfriend you've been telling me about!" She gave you a cold smile devoid of genuine emotion as she spoke.

You felt your heart drop. Felix has a girlfriend? He never mentioned anyone to you. How could he even have time for a girlfriend when he was sleeping in your bed almost every night? What the fuck is going on??

Felix looked shaken at the statement for a brief second and before you could clarify that you were just his roommate he spoke.

"Yes, this is my girlfriend, Y/N."

You stared back at him with wide questioning eyes. What in the actual fuck is going on right now???

The woman looked you up and down again, chuckled to herself, then left muttering something under her breath that sounded like it rhymed with lanky witch.

As soon as she was out of earshot you grabbed Felix's arm and looked him in the eyes. "What the fuck was that?"

Felix shyly looked down and took a deep breath before explaining. "That was Megan, she works in the accounting department and she has been trying to get me to go out with her for months and when she wouldn't stop I panicked and said I had a girlfriend. She seemed to believe me at first but I never brought this girlfriend around and so she started to get suspicious. I'm sorry I brought you into this but it seemed like the perfect cover in the moment, but if it makes you uncomfortable I can call her back over and come clean." He looked back up at you and gave you a half-hearted smile.

Felix wanted to be your fake boyfriend for the night. In what world would you ever pass up that golden opportunity?

"No, It's okay 'Lix, we can fake date for the night to get her off your back. She seems like a royal bitch to me anyway and I wouldn't want to make you talk to her more than you already have to." He let out a sigh of relief and smiled at you, then stood up and wrapped his arms around you in a big hug.

"Thank you Y/N, you're a lifesaver." He pulled back a little and smiled at you as he reached up and pushed a hair out of your face. You looked into his eyes and smiled back.

"What are friends for?"

~✨~

The rest of the party flew by. Felix introduced you to all his coworkers as his girlfriend and they all congratulated you two and told you how cute it was that you two decided to wear matching outfits. You ate, drank, and had great conversations but after a while Felix seemed a bit on edge and you decided to see if he was okay before continuing to enjoy the party. You led him out to the balcony where you could only see one or two people sitting around, seemingly bored with the festivities inside.

"Hey, 'Lix, you seem... anxious? Are you doing alright?" You take his hands in yours and notice his shoulders immediately relax a bit.

"It's nothing love, just getting a bit tired is all." He had been calling you cute nicknames all night in front of his coworkers to keep up the guise of being together, but the fact that he called you love while it was just the two of you made your heart stutter momentarily. You chalked it up to the few drinks he had had throughout the night and decided to blow past it.

"Okay, well how about we dance to one song and then head out? The dance floor is too big and the DJ is too good to pass up one dance." You squeeze his hands softly to comfort him a bit and hopefully put his mind at ease. He looks up and softly smiles at you.

"Lead the way."

When you walk inside you guide Felix to the dance floor and start moving around, letting the beat take over your body. You see Felix smile at you as he begins to do the same. Pretty soon the two of you are jumping around laughing hysterically at how ridiculous you must look just jumping and moving your shoulders to the beat. When the song ends you get ready to head out before Felix takes hold of your hand. The beat changed and a slower melody filled the room.

"One more dance?" He sheepishly smiled at you. You walked toward him, placing your free hand on his waist and smiled back at him. "Anything for you 'Lix."

The two of you started with your hands together, free hands on each others waist. But as the song continued Felix slipped his hand from yours and put both of his hands on either side of your waist. Your arms came up and wrapped around his neck, your bodies now pressed into one another, looking into each others eyes. Felix rested his head on your shoulder and let out a sigh.

"I wish we could stay like this forever." He whispered into your ear.

"Me too." You whispered back.

Once the song was over Felix pulled his head back, hands still placed on your waist and smiled.

"Let's go home."

~✨~

The Uber back was quiet, your heart was beating out of your chest as you thought through the nights events. Felix had a hand on your knee and his head rested on your shoulder as you made your way back home. Once the Uber pulled up you said thank you to the driver and walked up to your apartment hand-in-hand with Felix.

After you stepped through the door Felix turned you to face him and he just looked into your eyes in silence for a moment until he softly spoke, barely a whisper.

"Can I kiss you?"

You were sure you were dreaming. There was no way this beautiful, incredibly kind, amazing man wanted to kiss you right now. As if he could tell what you were thinking he took a step towards you and brought his hand up to caress your cheek.

"You are the most beautiful person I have ever laid my eyes on and I've wanted to kiss you all night, well, I've wanted to kiss you a lot longer than that. So, may I kiss you, Y/N?"

"Yes." You whispered.

And with your consent Felix pulled your face to his and gently placed his lips on yours. It was a beautiful kiss, filled with all the emotions you had both been feeling for quite some time.

You pulled away to catch your breath and smiled at him. You thought back to Wednesday and a thought occurred to you. "It is late, we should head to bed."

"Yours or mine?"

[my-wild-imagination1996]

Life is Crazy part I

A/N: This is not proofread and I am not perfect. There will be spelling and grammatical errors. I have not written smut in over 6 years, I’m sorry if it’s terrible. 

THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION BASED ON THE AMAZING HUGH JACKMAN AND MY CRAZY IMAGINATION

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, alcohol, oral sex (f & m receiving), song referenced in the story is Bed Chem by Sabrina Carpenter, swearing, cum in mouth, mentions of anxiety

PART ONE: YOUR BIG BREAK

Being an independent artist had its perks. Most people still didn’t know who you were so you could usually keep a low profile. You were well known enough to make millions but not known enough for paparazzi to give a fuck about. You were thankful given your anxiety, but you always wished you could reach more people with your music, and occasionally you’d wish that you could be more of a star than you were but you figured if it was meant to happen, then it would. You were sitting in your mini studio that you had set up in the spare room of your Los Angeles suburb home. You were waiting for inspiration to hit you while you played random notes on the keyboard. Your watch started to vibrate to notify you of a call coming through from your manager. You stopped messing with the keyboard to grab your phone and answer the call.

“Hello?” You answered.

“Hey y/n, you’re never gonna fucking believe this but I just had a casting agent reach out to me saying that they want you to audition for a movie.” Your agent stated not continuing to give you more detail.

“What movie is it even for?” You asked, thinking it was weird since you have tons of tattoos and usually movies don’t want that.

“Well, you see, that’s the fucking weird part. Um, it’s for a marvel movie. They only want you to audition so it’s not like a guaranteed thing that you’d get the role.” They told you. 

“Any more information than that?” You asked, trying to understand why you’d be asked to audition for something like this.

“Kevin Fiege wasn’t so open to speaking on the role just that it was for a female anti-hero type deal. Said that their casting director thinks you fit the look of the character perfectly.” 

“Okay. Text me the details and let them know I’m game.” I said thinking that there was no harm in auditioning.

A week had passed since the audition and neither you or your management had heard anything regarding being cast so you honestly didn’t think you got the part which was no surprise to you because of your tattoos. You were having a severe case of writer's block when it came to your music. You were playing Last of Us when your watch started vibrating with an unknown saved number. You hesitantly answered.

“Hello?” 

“Hi, is this y/n?” The man on the line asked.

“This is her?” You responded.

“Great! This is Nathan, I am the assistant to Sarah Finn. She was the casting director of the marvel film that you just auditioned for?” He explained making your eyes go wide with shock.

“Oh great! How can I help you?” You asked, mentally kicking yourself for your word choice.

“Well, we actually wanted to see if you’d be willing to come in again for another audition. We’d actually like to give you more detail about the character and see if you match what we’re exactly looking for regarding this character. If we like it, we’ll be having you do a chemistry test with the character's love interest. How does that sound?” He asked with a friendly tone.

“Absolutely. I’d love to come in again. I just need to know when and where.” You responded excitedly. Nathan proceeded to tell you the audition was in two days here in Los Angeles. They needed you there by 10 AM.

You woke up to the sound of your alarm blasting at seven in the morning letting you know to get ready for the audition. You opt to wear a t-shirt and jean shorts with sandals to the second audition. You straightened your hair and applied light make-up since it’s your normal go to look. You weren’t even sure who the love interest was. You loved the MCU and were honored they thought of you, but you were worried about getting your hopes up and what this meant for your music career. You entered the building and were immediately greeted by the receptionist who told you to take a seat and they’d take you back when they were ready. 

“Hi! I’m Nathan. We spoke on a bit about the role on the phone and what todays gonna accomplish.” The man introduced himself as soon as you sat down, making you stand up again to greet and shake his hand.

“Alright so follow me, we’re gonna be going into this room down the hall. No pressure but we do have Kevin there to see if he likes you or not for the role. Now the role is the character Amethyst Santiago AKA Amethyst. Her powers are much like Agatha or even Scarlet Witch. She’s the most powerful one in the Marvel Universe. She has an intense relationship with the like of one Mr. Wolverine.” Nathan said, making you nervous cause if Hugh Jackman was here you were going to lose your shit since you loved the wolverine movies but also he’s hot as fuck so how could you not be excited.

“Now, if you’ll remember, on the phone, I did mention that if we like what we see, we will be doing a chemistry test between you and Hugh.” You instantly fangirled internally but you felt your hands become slightly clammy because of your nerves. 

“Yes, I remember. Let’s do this.” You said as you entered the room where there was a table filled with people, some you recognized from the last audition and some you didn’t. They handed you a script and advised you how to read the role. You did exactly as they asked and stopped when they said ‘end scene’. Then Kevin spoke. 

“I’m gonna be honest with you, y/n. I like your look for the character and I love how you’re portraying the character. I think it’s time we brought Hugh our to see if you guys can make this vision become reality, but Hugh’s a pro so I gotta say that I think you’ve got this.” He stated.

That’s when you heard the door open and then you saw him walk in and greet everyone kindly, before finally greeting you extending his hand.

“I’m Hugh, your scene partner.” He said flashing you a smile that made you get butterflies instantly. 

“Hi Hugh. My y/n is name.” You responded confidently until you realized what you said. “I mean my name is y/n.” Making Hugh laugh. The executives gave you both a minute to review before getting into the scene. It was quite dramatic and ended with him inches away from your lips before they called the scene.

“Great. Thank you, Hugh. Y/n, we’ve got some things to discuss but you’ll have a response from us either way by end of day. 

“Thank you so much for the opportunity.” You said before heading out of the room and to the bathroom.

As you were walking out of the building towards your car, you were staring down at your phone while walking when you felt someone tap your shoulder. You looked over your shoulder and saw no one other than Hugh.

“Sorry to bother you, but you’re going to get the role so I thought that maybe I should give you my number so that we could get to know each other for the roles.” He said.

“I don’t see why not.” You said opening up the dial pad on your phone to call him so you’d both have each other’s number. You figured he was only doing it for the role considering you were barely in your late twenties and he was in his mid fifties. You made the assumption he probably didn’t see you like that even if you saw him that way.

“I’ll see you around y/n.” He said before walking back into the building.

A few weeks had passed since your encounter with Hugh. You had actually come to meet lots of the stars of your youth. You ended up meeting Ryan Reynolds who you learned was going to be starring as Deadpool in the film. You ended up in a text chain with Ryan and Hugh which you were fine with but they usually just told stupid jokes. Filming was supposed to start in about a month. As a sort of celebration of sorts, Ryan invited you to his house for a barbeque/pool party that he was hosting with Hugh and other various castmates. You brought a beach bag that had your swimsuit but you were currently wearing a floral sundress with sandals. You pulled up to his house in awe of the mansion. As soon as you walked up the driveway, you heard the door open to be immediately greeted by a smiling Blake.

“Welcome to our home. If you end up drinking or anything, we have spare rooms you can sleep in.” She said in a friendly tone. 

“Um, thanks. I have a quick question. I have a THC cart and I would like to smoke it outside if that’s okay.” You asked.

“That’s totally fine. No smoking in the house but the backyard is totally fine. Hugh smokes one too so it’s all good.” She said shutting and locking the door behind you. 

You followed Blake to the back where the music and people were. You observed your surroundings. Nervous because you didn’t really know anyone but Hugh and Ryan. 

“Y/n!” Ryan shouted. “Come get a drink and some food!” 

You smiled shyly and found your way over to him, wondering where Hugh was. Maybe your crush on Hugh was slightly inappropriate given the age difference but you were well over eighteen. 

“Where’s Hugh?” You asked while you grabbed a paper plate and built your plate.

“I think he went to get more liquor from the basement.” Ryan responded while you went to sit at one of the tables they had in their backyard. 

You kept scanning the entrance to the backyard, waiting for Hugh to appear. Honestly, you’d socialized more with Hugh in person during this whole process than anyone else. You felt comfortable around Hugh. You finally saw him walking from the house carrying bottles of liquor. You weren’t much of a drinker and it worried you how much alcohol was around cause you were a lightweight.

Hugh noticed you sitting at the chair eating your food at a table alone so he decided to join you while everyone was doing their own things.

  “Hey there. Hopefully I'm not interrupting your peace.” He said, food and his drink in his hand.

“Hey. Thank you for coming over here. I feel kind of out of place honestly. Ryan is great but I just, I don't know, feel overwhelmed, I guess. I don’t have many close friends and I haven't been to a party this large since I was like twenty so it's definitely nerve wracking.” You over-explained.

“Listen to me. I've been in this industry for ages. I can show you the ropes. Help you navigate this a bit.” He said, trying to reassure you. 

You took a sip of the smirnoff ice that you grabbed. Surveying your surroundings, listening to Hugh ramble about whatever crossed his mind. You took the time to really look at him. The way light reaches his eyes while he smiles. The kindness evident in his eyes. You couldn’t help but be in awe of his beauty, but you didn’t want to come off creepy so you kept your staring to a minimum.

After a few drinks and a few hours, the sun was starting to set and they turned on their backyard lights and then Ryan said it’s time to really party. You looked at Hugh to figure out what he meant, but Hugh just gave you a smile. You shrugged it off, finishing off your drink feeling a bit tipsy, making you more sociable.

“Y/n!” You hear Ryan drunkenly yell.

“I’m over here.” You said standing up causing at least 20 or 30 people who may or may not be drunk looking at you. It made you nervous cause these were mostly famous faces and you were use to being in front of fans. 

“Heard you’re quite the singer.” Ryan slurred.

“Oh no, I am not.” You responded not wanting to really sing in front of everyone.

“I’m a fan of your music so you’ve got to sing something for us.” Blake said really throwing you under the bus. 

Contrary to popular belief being a singer of sorts, you had stage fright and most nights on stage you were either drunk or stoned. You walk over to where Ryan and Blake were stationed because that’s where the liquor was. You poured two shots of tequila. Downing them both. 

“What am I supposed to sing?” You said feeling the liquid courage kicking in.

“Ooooh, you should do something new.” Blake said with a drunken slur. 

You pulled out your phone cause you usually kept samples of beats you were using for projects on there. You hooked your phone up to the bluetooth speaker. You played one you had titled ‘Bed Chem’. You had written only a few days ago when you were fantasizing about Hugh. It wasn’t finished but you’d figure singing what you had wouldn’t hurt. The familiar butterflies of performing in your stomach. You took a deep breath and started singing.

“And what are the odds? You send me a text

And now the next thing I know, I'm like

Manifest that you're oversized

I digress, got me scrollin' like

Out of breath, got me going like, ooh

Who's the cute guy with the white jacket and the accent? Like (Ooh)

Maybe it's all in my head

But I bet we'd have really good bed chem

How you pick me up, pull 'em down, turn me 'round, oh, it just makes sense

How you talk so sweet when you're doing bad things, that's bed chem

How you're looking at me, yeah, I know what that means, and I'm obsessed

Are you free next week? I'd bet we'd have really good

Come right on me, I mean camaraderie

Said you're not in my time zone, but you wanna be

Where art thou? Why not uponeth me?

See it in my mind, let's fulfill the prophecy (Ooh)”

“And that’s all I got so far for this one.” You said, officially a little drunk. Everyone erupts out into applause, making you flash a smile.

“Who did you write it about?” Blake asked you, making your eyes go wide.

“Um, no one. Just a guy I met a few weeks ago.” You responded.

You glanced at Hugh, who was watching you intensely. You walked over to him and took a seat beside him. 

“So what did you think?” You asked nervously while fidgeting with your hands on the table.

“I think whoever you wrote that about is about to be a very lucky man.” He said while moving his hands to caress yours, staring right at you. Letting you know that, somehow, he knew it was about him. You felt your whole body light up the second his skin touched yours. 

You felt heat flush your cheeks and you felt yourself starting to respond to his touch and you had no idea how this man is affecting you so greatly. You moved closer to him placing your hand on his thigh while whispering that you think that you both should head out.

“I just have to say bye to some people and then we can go.” He whispered back.

As he walked away from the table, you became anxious. A million things running through your head but you put your brain together enough to go say goodnight to Ryan and Blake, thanking them for their hospitality. After saying your goodbyes, you made your way to your car when you felt a hand sneak around your waist.

“We most definitely are not driving anywhere.” Hugh said sternly. “You are in no condition to drive and neither am I. I live in this neighborhood. We’re a five minute walk.” He said pulling you in the direction of his home. 

The walk was mostly silent. As you pulled up to his large home, he pulled out his keys and unlocked the door letting you in first.

As you both entered the living room, the dim lighting and the soft glow of the lamp created an intimate atmosphere. You kicked off your sandals, your eyes locking with Hugh's, both knowing exactly where this night was headed. You had been getting together weekly for the last couple months and your chemistry was undeniable. 

Hugh pushed you onto the couch, his strong hands grasping your hips. You landed softly on the cushions, your hair spilling around your shoulders, and a mischievous smile playing on your lips. He loomed over you, his muscular frame casting a shadow on your body, and you felt a tingle of anticipation run down your spine.

"You look so damn sexy right now," he whispered, his voice hoarse with desire. His hands travel up your thighs, pushing your dress higher, revealing your skin. Your breath quickened as you felt his calloused fingers brush against the sensitive skin of your inner thighs. You were soaked already, your pussy throbbing in anticipation of what was to come.

"I don’t think I can wait much longer." he growled, his eyes darkened with lust. He leaned down, capturing your lips in a hungry kiss. Your tongues danced, tasting the remnants of the liquor consumed earlier in the evening, but the flavors only added to the raw passion of the moment. Hugh's kiss was demanding, possessive, and it sent shivers through your body.

Breaking the kiss, Hugh trailed hot, open-mouthed kisses down your neck, sucking and biting gently, leaving a trail of wet marks on your delicate skin. You arched your back, offering yourself to him, your hands threading through his dark brown hair, pulling him closer. You wanted to feel his mouth everywhere, to experience the pleasure he could give you.

He worshiped your body with his lips and tongue, kissing and sucking on all of your sensitive spots. His hands cupped your breasts, kneading them gently through the fabric of your dress. You moaned, your hands gripping his shoulders, urging him on. 

"Please, Hugh," you whispered, your voice hoarse with need. "I want more."

Hugh chuckled, the sound vibrating against your skin. 

"More, huh? I think we can make that happen." He sat up, his eyes gleaming with mischief. With swift movements, he quite literally ripped your dress open, the fabric ripping easily, exposing your lace bra and the swell of your breasts. You gasped and moaned, a mix of surprise and pleasure rushing through you.

"You like that, don't you, baby girl?" he purred, his fingers teasing the lace covering your nipples. "You love seeing me take control over you, don’t you?" You nodded, your eyes half-closed, your body on fire. You loved the way Hugh was taking charge.

Hugh unhooked your bra, revealing your full, heavy breasts. He bent down, taking a nipple into his mouth, sucking and teasing it with his tongue. You cried out, your back arching off the couch as pleasure spiked through you. His hands roamed your body, squeezing and caressing your curves, driving you wild.

"You're so beautiful, y/n," he murmured between kisses. "So responsive. I love watching you fall apart for me." His words only fueled your desire further, causing you to buck your hips, seeking more contact.

Hugh's hands found the waistband of your panties and slowly slid them down your thighs, his touch deliberate and teasing. You lifted your hips, helping him remove the last barrier between the both of you. You were completely exposed now, your pussy dripping with your arousal. Hugh's eyes darkened even more as he took in the sight of your wetness dripping onto his couch. If you weren’t so turned on you would’ve been slightly embarrassed of what you were doing to his couch.

He positioned himself between your thighs, his hard cock straining against his jeans. You reached for the belt on his jeans, wanting to touch and stroke him, but he caught your hands, pinning them above your head. "Not yet, sweet girl. I want to drive you crazy first."

With that, he lowered his head down your body, trailing kisses along the way until his head was aligned with your core, he pressed kisses along your thighs. He blew gently against your clit, making you shiver. Teasingly close to your pussy but never quite touching it. You squirmed, your body taut with anticipation. 

"Please, Hugh, I need you," you begged.

After what felt like an eternity, he finally granted your wish. His tongue flicked out, tasting your sweetness, and then he dove in, lapping at your juices, his tongue swirling around your clit. You cried out, your hips bucking against his face. He held your thighs firmly, keeping you in place as he devoured your pussy, his tongue fucking you relentlessly.

"You gonna cum for me, y/n?," he growled against your pussy, his words felt vibrations against you. As though it snuck up on you, your orgasm hit you like a wave, crashing over you as you cried out his name. Your body trembled and shook,your juices flowing freely as Hugh continued to lick and suck through your climax. You had never had anyone work you so expertly on the first try.

As your tremors subsided, Hugh lifted his head, his hazel eyes glittering with satisfaction. 

"You're so fucking beautiful when you cum," he said, his voice rough. You let out a light laugh while out of breath.

But Hugh wasn't done with you yet. He stood up, quickly shedding his clothes, revealing his hard, thick cock. Your eyes widened at the sight of him, your pussy clenching with renewed desire. He was older, but his body was a work of art—muscular and sculpted.

"Now it's my turn to taste you," you said as he sat on the couch and you got yourself off the couch moving to your knees so that you were facing his cock. You took it in your hands feeling the weight and girth. You leaned forward, your eyes locking with his hazel ones as you took the head of his cock into your mouth. You swirl your tongue around the tip, tasting the salty pre-cum, and then you take him deeper, inch by inch, until you feel him at the back of your making you slightly gag until he pulls you back by your hair all while keeping his eyes locked on yours.

You sucked and bobbed your head, your lips sliding up and down his shaft, your hands pumping the base in sync with your mouth. Hugh's breath grew ragged, his hips thrusting slightly. You looked up at him, loving the sight of his pleasure, you increased your pace, wanting to give him the same mind blowing pleasure he had given you.

“Holy fuck, y/n, if you keep going like that I’m gonna cum in that pretty mouth of yours." he groaned, his hands tightening in your hair. His words only spur you on and encourage you to suck harder, your mouth slick around him, Hugh's hips bucked as he exploded in the back of your throat with a loud groan. You swallowed, your eyes had never left his but you had tears running down your flush cheeks from taking him so deep. Your eyes never left him as you sucked him dry.

As you had both caught your breath, Hugh pulled you up, kissing you deeply. "That was fucking incredible," he whispered against your lips. You smiled, feeling a sense of pride and satisfaction. This night had not gone as you expected it to and you were nervous about what this meant. Now coming to the realization of what trouble this could bring as he was basically your coworker now.