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#sorry this is a difference from my other one
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Spank me, Slap me, Choke me, Bite me
(Gojo, Geto, Toji, Nanami, Choso, Sukuna)
Gojo Satoru
As much as Gojo loved trying different sex positions. You always ended sex in missionary. He loves to have you stuck under him, not able to move because he’s pressing all his body weight onto you. He loves to watch your cute face as he’s deep inside you. He loves to hear all the sounds you make that bless his ears. He loves to caress your soft and silky skin, especially from your neck to your chest. He loves to bite. 
His hands travel down to grip your waist as he looks down at you with a smirk. Blue eyes sparkling with lust for you. “You look so good…” He buries his face in the crook of your neck. “And you smell so good…” 
“Toru…” you cry out. Your arms and legs wrapped around him, his hips snapping forwards as he sinks himself deeper into you, grazing your cervix with every single thrust. His tongue traces a path down to the top of your breast. “I’m almost there,” you utter into his ear. 
You suddenly feel sharp canines bite deep into your warm flesh. The pain and pleasure from your orgasm merge together deliciously as you come undone. A string of “I'm sorrys” and “I love you’s” leave Satoru’s lips like a chant as he fills you with his cum once again. The bite mark he left on your body to be forgotten until morning when you scold him even though you know he will do it again and again. 
Geto Suguru
Saying Geto loved your ass was an understatement. He worshipped it. Spanking your ass wasn’t anything new to him or you but his favorite time to do it was when he puts you in reverse cowgirl in front of a mirror. Making you watch as he fucks his hips into you tantalizingly, as he watches your face contort into the most fucked out expressions. One strong hand on your body for support and the other on the plump of your ass.
Smack
His hand lands on you with a delicious sting that sends a shockwave through your body causing you to let out a desperate whine. His body reacts to the sweet noises escaping your lips as he grabs your hips harshly, thrusting deeply into you. 
“You like that? Look at yourself, pretty girl.” he grunts, a free hand coming around your body to grope your tits. “You like when I spank you, don’t you baby? 
He never failed to turn you into a mess when you were on his cock. You could only give him a small nod before another heavy spank landed on the other cheek. His thrusts become more erratic as the hand from your tits falls down to your clit, rubbing as he keeps fucking you. 
“Cum for me princess…” 
Toji Fushiguro
Toji loved having you in a prone bone. He was able to feel the recoil of your ass against him as he slammed himself into you but still keeping the intimacy between you as he places soft kisses on your shoulder and praises you for how good you are taking his cock. He leans down to press his forehead against the back of your neck, his breath hot and heavy in your ear. 
“Fuck… this pussy feels so good,” Toji grunts as he keeps up the pace in his thrust, determined to make you cum. “You feel so fucking good around my cock.” 
Toji’s pace quickens as he feels you react to his words, your walls clenching tight around him. “Good girl,” he huffs with a deep rasp in his voice, his hand coming around to wrap around your neck. His hand tightens around your throat, restricting your airflow just enough to give you a rush of pleasure and help you reach your high. It took you a bit to realize he was choking you. 
“Such a good girl, can you cream around my cock f’me?” He teases you, knowing you can’t answer him but, oh did he know you would. His hips begin slamming into you with more force. As you feel your nth orgasm of the night build up inside you, Toji follows you over the edge. Thrusts slowing down into you as he spills his seed inside. Slowly he pulls out of you, once again placing soft kisses upon your body. 
Nanami Kento
Nanami liked when you would bring up new things to try in the bedroom. He lived to please you and if you liked something, he did too. So when you suggested he should spank you, he couldn’t deny you. Especially when you looked so pretty bent over his lap, in the prettiest lingerie and your ass all perked for him. 
“Are you sure about this?” He questions, running a hand over your ass. “What if I hurt you?”
“I’m so sure Ken… please,” you pout. 
“Okay” His hand comes up and lands softly on your ass. 
“Ken, like you mean-” 
Spank 
Before you can even finish your sentence. His hand lands harshly on your ass. So much harder than the first time, it shut you up real quick. “Like that, honey?” he asks you a hint of cockiness behind his voice. It took him a while to build the confidence to do it without you asking but, once he understood how much you loved it. He couldn’t stop and you didn’t want him to. 
Choso Kamo
If Choso could, he’d choose to die between your legs. The man loved your pussy. His pupils dilate at just the sight of you naked on his bed, spreading your legs open for him. Falling to his knees in front you, eyes like a predator hunting his prey, already salivating his meal. He gently gropes your thighs, his tongue begins lapping at your wet cunt. Desperates to taste every inch of it but, lately Choso had a knack for biting. 
It started off as innocent little nibbles to the side of your thighs but, soon enough his teeth grazed over your clit and he would slightly tug it. A sharp whine leaves your lips. 
“Did that hurt?” he coos. One look at that man and you could tell he was pussy drunk and you did not have it in your heart to tell him he couldn’t bite your clit. It didn't even hurt that bad anyways. Choso was always so gentle. 
“No baby… keep going” 
And he did. And he loves it. Decorating your thighs with bite marks, gnawing and pulling on your clit. He was so proud of himself for finding he could use his teeth to please you as well and your moans were only more encouraging for him. 
Sukuna
If Sukuna really wanted to hurt you, you’d be dead. You’ve seen how he tortures and kills other people with moving a muscle. So when Sukuna would slap you during sex you knew it was because he loved the way you made him feel. He didn’t know how to express himself any other way. And god, he loves that smirk you’d give him after he did slap you. 
“Yeah you like that brat?” He holds your chin in place so you can look at him, sharp nails digging into your skin as he allows your legs to come down from the mating press he had you in. 
Another slap lands on your face before he dips his head down to kiss you. His way of soothing the pain with pleasure.  He quickly picks up his pace again mercilessly fucking it you. He feels so good that tears start to build up around your eyes. 
“Such a curious little creature… you like when I slap you but then you cry?” Sukuna boasts as he punctates his words with rough thrusts. “N-no,” you whine. 
“Or is it because my cock makes you feel so good?” He whispers into your ear, his tongue lapping up the tear that threatened to fall down your face. It was about to be another long night. 
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fumekara · 2 days
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IMAGINE GOJO'S SON IMITATING HIM IN EVERYTHING HE DOES
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Small scenario based on my thoughts about DadGojo 
Gojo Satoru x Fem reader 
TW: SFW, just fluff (Gojo pinches the reader, but not in a sexual way), your son's name is Ame, but you can imagine it however you like. 
WC: 500
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Your son had developed a habit as he grew up: that of imitating Satoru in everything he did. 
It wasn't enough that the two were identical in appearance, with the same pale skin, blue eyes and thick, white hair. If not for the difference in height, one could have mistaken them for the same person. He's like a little doppelganger. 
At only three years old, your son was chasing and imitating his father's actions and gestures as faithfully as possible for a child of his age, with clumsy, wobbly movements that made you smile every time you watched them interact with each other. You didn't know how such a small child could be so precocious and active, but this was just confirmation that Ame was indeed his father's son. 
Ever since Ame was born, Satoru had always behaved like a model father, completely in love with his son, treating him with love to the point of making him a 'daddy's boy', spoiling him in every way possible, even without your knowledge, when you had forbidden it because you feared he would become too spoiled. 
But as your son slowly began to utter his first words and take his first steps, he developed his personality accordingly. Obviously this did not go unnoticed by your husband, who exploited this habit to his liking.
You once caught them during one of their playful moments while you were in the kitchen cleaning the table. You saw your husband walking around the kitchen smiling as usual and Ame following him laughing in her high-pitched voice. For a moment you caught a glimpse of the older man giving you a sly look before walking behind you, an action that made you raise an eyebrow wondering what he was planning to do. 
But before you could realize it, you felt a pinch on your thigh that made you turn towards the culprit behind you. 
"Gojo Satoru!" you scolded him in a tone that was astonished, but also slightly amused at his audacity. Satoru said nothing and merely laughed and winked at you as he circled the table again. That's when you heard a "mama" coming from Ame's little voice accompanied by his little hand hitting you in the same spot where Satoru had pinched you and then continuing to follow your husband, leaving you speechless.  
You laughed at what had just happened and decided to go along with them and play along.
"Ouch, that hurts" you feigned dramatically as you rubbed your thigh. 
Satoru smiled at you and approached you again wrapping you in a hug "oh no poor mommy, I'm so sorry" he said in the same tone you had used before planting a series of kisses on your face and then a sweet kiss on your lips.
Ame, who had witnessed the scene, lost no time in reaching her parents. "Mama, Mama kisses" he said loudly, coming towards you and jerking his little arms to be picked up. Satoru broke away from you and picked up his son "Come here, buddy" and pulled him close to you, who immediately gave you a series of kisses on the cheek affectionately. At the end of that imitation you and Satoru hugged Ame and kissed him on one cheek at the same time, making him laugh. 
Yes, Ame really was his father's son.
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fvsm4x · 1 day
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Loser gf reader x fratboy Gojo Satoru
𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬. I‘m such a sucker for loser gf reader and fratboy gojo
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You always wondered what Gojo saw in you. He was the life of every party, the guy everyone wanted to be or be with. You, on the other hand, were more comfortable in the quiet corners of the library, nose buried in a book. Your worlds couldn't have been more different, yet here you were, his hand intertwined with yours as he led you into another one of his infamous frat parties.
"Stick with me, alright?" Gojo grinned down at you, his blue eyes twinkling with mischief. "I won't let any of these idiots bother you."
You nodded, trying to ignore the glances and whispers from the crowd. It was always the same—people wondering why the most popular guy on campus was with someone like you. But Gojo never seemed to care about their opinions. He was always unabashedly himself, and somehow, that included being with you.
As the night wore on, you found yourself on the couch, sipping on a soda while Gojo mingled. He'd check on you every few minutes, his smile never faltering. But even in a room full of people, you felt alone.
"Hey, you're Gojo's girlfriend, right?" A girl with long, blonde hair and a tight dress sat down next to you, her gaze appraising. "I'm Mina. I've heard a lot about you."
"Hi," you replied, feeling a bit wary. Mina's smile didn't quite reach her eyes.
"You're so lucky," she said, leaning closer. "I mean, Gojo is such a catch. I can't believe he’s dating someone like you."
Before you could respond, Mina stood up and sauntered over to Gojo, placing a hand on his arm. You watched as she leaned in, whispering something in his ear. Gojo laughed, but when he saw the look on your face, his expression changed.
"Excuse me," he said to Mina, brushing her hand off and making his way back to you. "You okay?"
You nodded, trying to hide your discomfort. "Yeah, just not really my scene, you know?"
He chuckled, leaning in to kiss your forehead. "I know. But I like having you here with me. Makes it more fun."
"Really?" You raised an eyebrow, genuinely curious. "You don't think I'm...I don't know, bringing you down?"
Gojo's expression softened. "Never. You keep me grounded, you know that? Besides, I like showing off my amazing girlfriend to everyone."
A blush crept up your cheeks. "I'm not amazing, Satoru."
"Yeah, you are," he said firmly, pulling you closer. "You put up with my crazy ass. That's pretty amazing to me."
As if on cue, another girl approached, giggling and twirling her hair. "Gojo! Come dance with me!" she insisted, grabbing his hand.
He gently but firmly removed her hand from his. "Sorry, I'm with my girlfriend," he said, nodding toward you. The girl's smile faltered, and she walked away, pouting.
You laughed, feeling the tension melt away. Maybe you didn't quite fit into Gojo's world, but he made you feel like you belonged. And that was enough.
"Come on," Gojo said, standing up and pulling you with him. "Let's get out of here. I know a place where we can actually talk without shouting."
You smiled, letting him lead the way. As long as you were with Gojo, you knew you'd be okay. And maybe, just maybe, you were starting to see what he saw in you.
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© fvsm4x 2023/4 : do not translate, plagiarise or steal my work.
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okaylikesmomo · 18 hours
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Exchange Part 4: Deal
~5k words, smut, male reader, barely proofread so be nice
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It was only a month later before your modest life had turned incredibly lavish. Jisoo not only succeeded in landing you a fantastic promotion, but she also went above and beyond to make sure you got compensated more than you could have ever imagined - frankly more than you probably deserved, but who were you to complain?
What used to be your humble flat had been replaced by what was essentially an estate in an affluent South Korean neighborhood. People could work their entire lives and never be able to afford this, but for the most part, one evening was the reason you were here. Normally, living in a house this size would be rather lonely - fortunately for you there was company.
“You see Jennie’s latest CK ads?” The small girl asked casually as she scrolled through her phone, a cup of coffee in her other hand.
“Hard not to,” you replied. “They’re plastered all over my feed.”
“Girl would rather try convincing people to buy panties over being an idol at this point,” she sighed.
“Clearly it’s not working on you,” you commented as your eyes explored Lisa’s bare legs.
“Do you want me to put on some of Jennie’s panties?” Lisa smirked, putting down her coffee and uncrossing her legs. “I thought you preferred this,” she added as she spread her legs and started rubbing between her legs, using her fingers to cover herself up.
“I do, that’s why you’re still forbidden to wear pants when you’re in my house.”
“Is that right?��� Lisa chuckled, crossing her legs again. “Since when is my body your property?”
“It goes both ways,” you replied, cocking an eyebrow in her direction. “Remember last weekend?”
“That’s different!” she whined, crossing her arms after tossing her phone onto the table. “I told you not to cum in her.”
“Baby it was one time, you-”
“Don’t ‘baby’ me,” Lisa growled. “We had a deal that night.”
“I’m sorry,” you apologized sarcastically before getting down on your knees in front of Lisa’s crossed legs. “Baby,” you teased, gently spreading her legs again.
“Shut up,” Lisa rolled her eyes, failing to hide her smile as she stood up from the chair and hopped onto the table. “Just hurry up, this coffee sucks.”
“Hey, I like this coffee…” you mumbled as you stood up from your knees and lowered your pants, tossing your shirt to the side.
“I’m just kidding,” Lisa chuckled. “It’s actually pretty good. I just want something else right now.”
“You’re always in the mood for that something else.”
“Are you complaining?”
“Does it look like I’m complaining?”
“Just hurry up and fuck me baby boy,” she groaned, losing any semblance of subtly, putting her heels up on the table. 
“Don’t have to tell me twice,” you grunted as you pressed your tip against her pussy.
She was already somewhat wet - the girl always had sex on her mind. You lathered up her slick onto your shift, working quickly because you knew Lisa could get impatient. At times she enjoyed a bit of teasing, but you knew when she wanted to get on with it - this morning was one of those times.
Lisa’s pussy never failed to impress you with how tight it was. Even after weeks of fucking her little pussy, weeks of sex being a nearly daily activity for the two of you, it still surprised you each and every time your cock entered her body.
“Oh fuck yes, it’s been too long,” Lisa moaned softly, tilting her head back as your cock slid slowly into her tight pussy.
“It’s been less than half a day,” you moaned back, wrapping your arms around her lower back for leverage as you pushed all the way into her slowly.
“Too long,” she groaned, bringing one hand between her legs and rubbing her clit.
Even though you were worried that you would start to grow tired of Lisa's body, those fears never came to fruition. It turned out that depriving an idol of any sexual outlet for an extended period of time led to a great deal of stress, and Lisa was taking full advantage of you to make up for lost time. Even if she was just using you, it didn't particularly matter to you because the arrangement worked out well regardless.
Luckily for you, that made the sex amazing. Even now, with Lisa leaning back on the table, with your hips pushing into her pussy, she managed to move her body back and forth alongside you. Laziness was not in her vocabulary - no matter what position she was in she was able to make it that much better for you through sheer physical talent. It motivated you, drove you to new levels. It made you want to fuck her harder every single time your cock blessed her soft body.
“Harder baby,” Lisa groaned softly, closing her eyes, hands gripping the edge of the table to support her shaking body. “Fuck me harder.”
Satisfying the tight Thai girl was your favorite activity. Her pleasure became your only goal. Your motivation. Your balls slapped against her skin each time your cock dove into her pussy. The combination of her dripping pussy and the beads of sweat forming on her skin was a recipe for the most mind-boggling elation.
Her pussy eventually began to gush all over your cock, adding more of her natural lubricant which somehow barely made it easier to fuck her. She was tight. Each thrust took effort - true conviction. The wet slapping of skin on skin fueled your urges, kept you going, pushed you deeper than you thought possible, aided by her drenched body.
A singular word escaped her lips, a whisper that could be heard across the room and in every room, as her body fell backwards onto the table.
“Fuck.”
The readjustment of her position gave you the tiniest pause which you used to regain some semblance of control over your own orgasm. You took both of her ankles in your palms and lifted her legs up, resting them on your shoulders, before leaning forward slightly. With her legs to the roof, body bent almost in half, you resumed your work.
This new angle was perfect - evident by Lisa’s sudden onset of squeals. The barrage of shrieks attacked your ears as your cock rubbed against her most sensitive spot. You had learned what worked best on Lisa thanks to the excessive amount of experience the two of you had together, and this was exactly what she needed right now.
“I’m…”
“Me too,” you grunted in response before leaning forward, bending her body entirely in half, her thighs pressing against her abs. You leaned forward a bit more until your lips found her mouth.
As your tongue entered her mouth, you immediately realized your mistake; Her body had become too much for you. The sensation of her tight pussy had already pushed you dangerously close, but Lisa’s kiss launched you right over the edge with no chance for you to hold back. The last thing you could consciously do was latch onto Lisa’s body, allowing her vibrations to be felt directly on your skin.
The satisfaction of your cock filling Lisa’s pussy numbed your mind, your cum gushing deep inside her body. It was becoming difficult to continue, yet your hips kept thrusting on autopilot. Each spurt of cum was proceeded with another thrust. It almost felt embarrassing finishing this abruptly - but then you felt her.
Lisa’s pussy began squeezing your shaft. Perfectly timed, you thought to yourself as your hips tried their hardest to desperately continue pumping her tight pussy. It was, however, futile. Physically you had nothing left, and all you could do was lay there as Lisa’s pussy convulsed. It was like all your energy flew into Lisa’s body through your cum, now it was time to just enjoy Lisa’s body while having no control over your own.
Thankfully, based on the breaths she let into your mouth, she was in her own little world now. She rode it out for what felt like minutes, maybe even hours, probably not, pressing each individual nerve in your cock over and over with her tight warmth. When you eventually felt her body finally start to relax, finally start to calm down, you very carefully and slowly withdrew your cock, her pussy squeezing your exit, fighting to keep your softening shaft inside her.
Both of you desperately tried to catch your breath, gasping as if you ran marathons, still holding onto each other, your cum slowly leaking out of her. It took a moment, time you used to gently press your mouth against her warm skin.
“Can you… come with me… to the… office…?” Lisa panted, her chest heaving up and down on the table.
“Sure,” you answered between the kisses you were planting over Lisa’s neck, taking the second your lips left her neck to speak. “You’ve. Been. Excessively. Horny.”
“It’s…” Lisa sighed before mustering up the strength to pull herself up and sit straight. “It’s for Jisoo, she needs to tell you something.”
“Huh? Why didn’t she send me a message directly?” you asked while backing up slightly so that Lisa could hop off the table.
“Because it was my suggestion,” Lisa answered while taking a seat and pulling you closer to her.
“Suggestion for what?”
Lisa ignored the question as she became occupied with using your cock to probe the inside of her mouth.
“Lisa, what suggestion?” you repeated, flinching as your extremely sensitive tip hit the inside of her cheek.
“Can a girl suck some cock in peace?” she whined, brows furrowed in frustration as she glared up at you.
All you could do was chuckle at the absurdity.
“Thank you,” Lisa added cheerily before putting her lips against your shaft, licking up whatever combination of fluids had accumulated.
Her lust for your cock was probably one of her most endearing qualities. She could never have enough, once a day wasn’t even enough. Rarely did you sleep without Lisa at least giving you a blowjob, it was like she needed your cum to survive. You couldn’t help but feel your insides warm up at the sight of her cute little tongue poking away at your tip.
“Mwah!” she exaggerated a final kiss on your cock before smiling brightly up at you, finally content. “Now, what were you asking me?”
“The suggestion?”
“Oh, here let me show you,” she replied before opening her mouth wide and leaning over to throat your cock again.
“Lisa, seriously,” you stopped her with your hands.
“You’re no fun,” she pouted, crossing her arms. “Fine, she’ll tell you herself.”
“When do you have to get to the office?”
“Whenever I want, it’s not like we make music anymore.”
“Alright,” you sighed. “Since you already got me hard again…”
She laughed loudly before grabbing your cock in one hand and moving her lips forward.
“Now who’s excessively horny?” Lisa chuckled before slipping your cock down her neck in a single movement.
“Well aren’t you a sight for sore eyes. Loving the suit.”
“Rosie, it’s great to see you again,” you smiled as you entered the room. You gave her a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek before looking around. “Did Lisa send me to the wrong room? Where’s Jisoo?”
“Oh she’ll be right back,” Rosé replied. “I think she’s changing her dress.”
“Speaking of dresses, you look absolutely stunning right now,” you admired her long, strapless, black dress which showcased her frame beautifully with plenty of skin showing around her chest and hips as the fabric made an “x” across her torso.
“I decided I’d show myself off tonight, hopefully inspire some of the useless men to stop being so useless.”
“What’s happening tonight, why are you all getting so dressed up anyway?” you asked as you took her hand and made her twirl for you.
“Says the guy literally wearing a three piece,” Rosé shook her head playfully. “Did Lisa not tell you?”
“Nope, in her defense her mouth was pretty preoccupied this morning,” you replied. “All she said was to get dressed up.”
“Cheeky bastard,” Rosé laughed. “We’re going to another party tonight, to celebrate Jisoo’s news.”
“Oh right, I forgot they moved it to Friday,” you said, remembering the invite you received earlier this week. After getting your promotion, you were invited to the weekly party with full VIP access, but you haven’t attended one ever since that night you met Lisa. According to the girls, they generally weren’t worth it most of the time, not unless there was a special occasion.
Before the conversation could continue, the door swung open and Jisoo barged in. She had her head tilted while adjusting her earring, completely flustered but also unrealistically beautiful in her black and red dress.
“One simple request is all-” Jisoo began ranting before stopping in her tracks at the sight of you. She immediately forgot about whatever she was upset about and ran up to you, jumping into your arms. “Thank you for coming!”
“It’s my pleasure,” you said as her perfume hit your nose. She smelled even better than she looked right now, and you refused to let go of her as the flowery scent engulfed your senses.
“Well, I’ll leave you two to it,” Rosé giggled before leaving the room, finally bringing you back to your senses and ending the embrace.
“I heard you had some news to share,” you said softly while holding Jisoo’s arms.
“The songs are done,” she beamed up at you, that contagious smile making your heart flutter.
“Songs? As in multiple? Already?”
“Two,” she announced happily.
“Jisoo, that's amazing!” you pulled her into another hug and started patting her back. “I’m so proud of you!”
“I still owe credit to you,” she giggled.
“Absolutely not,” you pulled apart and took hold of her hands. “This was all you.”
“Either way, you helped inspire the title track’s name,” she smiled warmly, giving your hands a little squeeze.
“How so?”
“You’ll find out when they come out,” she replied before leaning closer to you.
It was instinctual, for the first time since that party, your body met with Jisoo’s. Your lips pressed effortlessly against each other’s, the beautiful aroma she wore blessing your senses once more. It felt so right kissing Jisoo, an oddly unexplainable passion between your bond.
“I’m so proud of you,” you whispered right in front of her face as your lips parted.
She answered by leaning forward again, kissing you softly, her hand wrapping around the back of your shoulders, forcing your own hands to naturally grab her waist. The two of you kept the kiss going, even as you pushed back, now making her lean slightly backwards, keeping her body up with your hands.
The beautiful moment was shattered as the two of you jolted away from each other at the sound of a loud crash in the room. You both turned towards the noise to see Rosé awkwardly standing in front of a tipped chair.
“Oops,” she giggled, holding up her purse. “My bad, forgot my bag.”
Jisoo chuckled before letting go of your shoulders and walking over to the dresser in the corner of the room.
“Thanks again for coming, I’ll see you later tonight?” Jisoo asked, turning her head just slightly enough for you to see her side profile.
“Absolutely.”
“No random whores.”
“I would never.”
“If I find a single one putting her hands on you-”
“Sweetie, you’re the only whore I want,” you whispered mockingly, giving Lisa a small poke in the ribs.
“Not funny.”
“I’m sorry baby, I didn’t mean it,” you teased, leaning into her until she was on her back.
“Call me that again and you won’t be touching any girls tonight,” Lisa glared at you, trying to stop herself from laughing as your fingers attacked her sides.
“Don’t worry, if she won’t let you have fun, you can always spend time with me,” Jennie interjected from across the limo.
“Is that so?” you chuckled, sitting back up and turning to look at Jennie. “You make it sound like you’re the one doing me the favor, as if it’s not the other way around?”
“Please, I’ll have a line of men waiting for me the second I enter this stupid event,” Jennie scoffed, crossing her arms. “I don’t need you.”
“Sure, but we both know you’re going to be complaining about each and every one of them.”
“Absolutely not.”
“You will,” Rosé chimed in from her seat next to Jennie. “We’ve all heard it before, and then you’re probably going to be begging for him to put it in your ass again.”
“What are you-” Jennie’s face turned bright red.
“You wouldn’t stop talking about that night for days after the last party we went to,” Rosé continued nonchalantly, taking a sip of champagne. “Oh Lisa when are you bringing him around again… Lisa is he coming tonight… Lisa-”
“Shut up,” Jennie cut her off, trying to hide her embarrassment desperately, but even in the dimly lit limo it was clear as day. “You complain about them just as much as I do.”
“Begging, you say?” your lips curled up at the sides, trying to stifle your laughs. “I like the sound of that.”
“I was not begging.”
“She was,” Rosé and Lisa both said in unison.
“That’s adorable,” you teased, holding your hand against your chest. “I’m touched.”
“Not begging.”
“So you’re saying you don’t want me to spend time with you tonight?”
“That’s not what I’m saying,” Jennie quickly replied, perhaps a bit too quickly, the blush on her cheeks burning redder.
“What are you saying exactly?” you smirked at her.
“I…” she froze, too embarrassed to finish her sentence.
“I wanna hear this begging, maybe then you’ll get what you want,” you laughed, enjoying every second of Jennie’s embarrassment. “Maybe.”
Jennie’s shoulders slumped forward as she left out a hefty sigh before mustering up some strength and sitting up straight.
“Oh my God, pick literally anyone else, why do you have to take my entertainment,” Lisa laughed, sitting back up and leaning her head on your shoulder.
“Is that what I am, your entertainment?” you responded while reaching your arm around her body, moving her face from your shoulder to your chest.
“Yes, exactly,” she replied immediately before turning back to Jennie. “I’ll make you a deal.”
“Go on,” Jennie leaned back against her seat, just as curious as you were about what Lisa had in mind.
“He can have my blessing to do whatever he wants with you tonight,” Lisa continued. “If you let him finish on your face before we enter tonight.”
Rosé nearly threw her flute in an attempt to prevent a spill as she burst out laughing, quickly covering her mouth.
“Lisa! There are always cameras waiting outside, I can’t do that,” Jennie protested.
“Then keep your head down,” Lisa giggled, rubbing her hand on your crotch. “As long as there’s a fresh load plastered all over your face, I’m happy.”
“It’s not like it’ll be the only load on your face tonight,” Rosé snickered, finally composing herself enough to speak up. “Lisa, I think it’s a great idea.”
“Thanks Rosie,” Lisa smiled. “So, what do you say?”
“I am not leaving this limo with cum on my face.”
“Then I guess you’ll have to find your own entertainment tonight,” Lisa taunted, rubbing her hand on your crotch. “This one’s all mine.”
“Oh come on, it’s like a two second walk to the door and we all try to hide our faces anyway,” Rosé attempted to convince her. “No one’s even going to see anything.”
“It just feels so wrong,” Jennie sighed, looking directly at you. “You’re fine with this? Knowing if people see me leave this limo with my face plastered and only one man gets out with me…”
Without even responding, you turned to Lisa and gave her a kiss.
“That answers that,” Rosé giggled.
“Lisa are you fucking serious, this is what you want?”
“I don’t remember stuttering,” Lisa replied casually. “Come on, we’re not even that far, the clock is ticking.”
“Unbelievable,” Jennie muttered as she got off her seat and onto her knees in front of you. She reached forward for your buckle when your hands instinctively grabbed her. “How can you possibly be shy, you have literally fucked each of us,” Jennie laughed.
“Multiple times,” Rosé chimed in, leaning back, all excited for the upcoming show.
“I’m not shy, I just-”
“Look at me,” Lisa whispered, each syllable dripping with sensualism, as she gently used her hand to turn your face towards her. “Keep your eyes on mine the whole time,” she commanded, eye contact locked on you. With one hand she motioned for Jennie to get started. “Don’t look at her even a single time.”
As Jennie started to undo your pants and pull them down to your knees, you followed Lisa's instructions and kept your eyes locked on hers. You didn't even look when you felt fingers clutch your shaft or when Jennie's tongue made contact with your cock a second later.
Her eyes remained fixed on you. That expression, so dispassionate, gave you the impression that she was in charge - not the girl sucking your cock. You met her gaze with a direct stare. Only when you weren't actively pushing your cock into her could you see the sweet, loving, and caring side of Lisa. The side of Lisa you could see behind her warm eyes.
It seemed as though you raised your hands to her face in silence. The infrequent slurps from Jennie's mouth were less noticeable than Lisa's lips, which were what truly captured your attention. Those velvety lips that begged for more. She leaned forward into you as you leaned forward - something Lisa never instructed you to do, something she didn’t need to tell you.
When your lips met, your eyes instinctively closed. Lisa didn't object; she kissed you back with the same fervor. Your whole body started to heat up, whether it was the kiss, the girl on her knees between your legs, or perhaps the alcohol was catching up to you. In reality, you knew Lisa’s passion was the cause.
Jennie’s slurps were becoming overwhelmingly loud. Your cock was completely covered in her saliva as she used her mouth to play with your tip while her hand stroked you as fast as she could. She knew you were getting close, she could feel it, and she was right.
There was no way your cock would hold on much longer, especially not while Lisa’s tongue invaded your mouth. For the second time today, kissing Lisa was going to launch you right over the edge, shattering any hopes of extending the current situation. You waved your arm in Jenne’s direction, barely making contact with her head.
She understood the cue and took her mouth off your tip, keeping pace with her hand as she tilted her face towards the roof of the limo. She held herself perfectly steady in your peripheral vision, struggling to keep a solid grip on your cock thanks to all the spit she had left on it.
Lisa could also feel your climax coming as she let go of you and went back to staring directly into your eyes. Her hand reached down, joining Jennie’s hand, and started to fondle your balls.
That was it, that did it for you.
Even without seeing it, you knew that first gush of cum made a line all the way across Jennie’s face. The shocked squeal she let out also confirmed it. Your cock started pulsing, unloading the warm cum presumably all over Jennie’s face. You kept pumping away, while staring Lisa in the eyes, her deadly gaze had softened considerably and she was even smiling warmly now. As the final dribbles of cum spilled out of your cock, you felt Jennie’s hand leave your shaft.
“Go ahead and look at your masterpiece,” Lisa whispered, her hand still fondling your balls.
In front of you, with her eyes still closed, was Jennie with her face shining. There were linear streaks of white all over her face, with a considerable amount getting into her hair. You didn’t realize just how big of a load you blew onto her face it was until now.
“Wow,” you muttered softly, earning a laugh from Rosé who you just now noticed was using a tissue to wipe her arm. “Did I?”
“Yes you did,” Rosé snapped immediately before laughing again.
“Don’t wipe any of it off,” Lisa instructed Jennie before bending over your lap and going for any of the white mess that didn’t make it onto Jennie’s face.
“I fucking hate you,” Jennie whined, looking at herself on her phone. “You got so much into my hair.”
“S-Sorry,” you gasped, Lisa’s tongue offering no reprieve as it attacked your sensitive tip.
“He’s not sorry at all,” Rosé added between laughs. “Look at him, he’s ready to give you round two.”
“My fault,” Lisa smirked as she sat back up, holding your once-again erect cock in her hand. “We’ll have to deal with this later, we’re here.”
-
“That was humiliating,” Jennie whined, touching up her makeup after tossing away the tissues she used to wipe her face clean. “I think one of them saw.”
“It wasn’t even that bad,” Rosé giggled, handing Jennie a brush for her hair. “And there’s no way anyone saw, I’ve never seen you run that fast in my life.”
“Are you kidding? Did you hear the shit they were saying,” Jennie grumbled. “It’s fine when I’m inside, but who knows who those people out there are, they don’t get to see me like that.”
“They weren’t saying anything, calm down.”
“I’m sorry babe,” Lisa purred as she gently stroked your cock. “I know what can make you feel better though.”
“I’m not even in the mood anymore,” Jennie scoffed, putting the brush down.
“Jennie? Are you actually upset?” Lisa asked, pausing her handjob, suddenly full of concern.
“She’s just being dramatic,” Rosé chuckled before grabbing Jennie’s hand. “Come on, let’s go get you some alcohol,” she added as she pulled Jennie out of the room. She paused at the door to look back at you and Lisa with a wink.
“She’s fine,” you tried to reassure Lisa as she looked at you.
“You’re probably right,” she sighed. “But you should not be able to speak right now,” she added before replacing her graceful strokes with aggressive pumps. “Come on baby, cum for me.”
The next couple of minutes were a blur. You remembered her hand, you remembered her kissing your neck, but nothing else was in your head right until you felt warmth shooting out of your cock.
“Lisa,” you huffed, turning to the girl as she wiped her hand clean. “You sure you’re okay with me fooling around with her tonight?”
“Of course, why wouldn’t I be?” she cocked an eyebrow at you.
“Just making sure, I’ve never done anything without your permission before.”
“Right… and you have my permission tonight,” Lisa replied slowly, smiling in a confused manner at you. “I know it’s a bit unorthodox, but really I wouldn’t put you in this situation if I wasn’t okay with it.”
“Unorthodox…” you repeated slowly. “Sometimes I wonder how I lucked out so hard to have such a wild life,” you laughed, grabbing Lisa by her waist.
“It’s not that wild,” Lisa giggled as you pulled her close. “A bit of meaningless fucking never hurt anyone.”
“Speaking of meaningless fucking…”
“Not yet,” Lisa stopped you as you kissed her neck.
“Whoa, did baby girl just say no to sex? There’s really a first for everything.”
“I did not say no,” Lisa scoffed. “I just don’t want my makeup all messed up just yet,” she added coyly.
“Who said I have to mess up your makeup?”
“I did, because that’s exactly what you’re going to do later tonight when you fuck my throat.”
“You’re going to say that and then keep me waiting.”
“You just came twice in like fifteen minutes, a break wouldn’t hurt,” Lisa laughed as she wiped you clean with a tissue.
“As if that’s out of the norm,” you chuckled. “How about I eat you out.”
“That’s a nice offer, but we’ll do all that properly later tonight,” Lisa giggled before getting up and running to the door. “Go find where those two just went, or look for Jisoo, she’s probably bored out of her mind being here all alone for so long. I gotta meet up with a couple of my friends, they said they’d be here.”
“Wait, you want me… without you?”
“Why are you pretending like you forgot how to use your dick,” Lisa chuckled, wearing a confused expression again as she looked at you.
“Lisa…” you paused to stand up and walk over to her. “Ever since that night I met you, I’ve never touched any of them without you being there.”
She gave you a small bend of her head and the cutest eyes in the world.
“Baby,” she hesitated. “I’ve never thought about that, but you’re right.”
“Are you still fine with it?”
“Of course,” Lisa smiled warmly. “I guess you’re unofficially joining our agreement, nothing that happens at these parties can be held against you. Only my bandmates though, I meant what I said about no random whores.”
“I’m fine with that,” you leaned forward and kissed her cheek before grabbing a handful of her ass. “I’m going to be thinking of you the whole time though.”“Awhh baby, that sounds so wrong, but it’s strangely sweet,” Lisa giggled, wrapping her arms around your neck. “And all night I’m going to be thinking of how you’re going to fuck my throat later.”
---
A/N:
Honestly, ending this chapter way earlier than I had planned because I want to try staying near that 5k word mark, and there wouldn't be a better place to pause. I have the entire plan for the next chapter already good to go, just gotta finish writing it, all I'll say is next chapter will most likely be when some stupid romantic lovey-dovey bs happens, and obviously more smut.
Now the thing that everyone keeps asking me. "WHEN ARE YOU UPDATING, WHEN IS NEW CONTENT COMING, WHERE ARE YOU". I am still alive <3, I've been trying to update you guys when I can, I'm still just busy with life. I don't have much time to work on my writing nowadays, but let me try giving you an update. I know this chapter is going to feel kinda short, just bear with me! Hopefully the next chapter will come out with a shorter break!
Currently still working on like 5 different pieces. My next upload might just be the next chapter of this story. If not this story, my guess would be Karina (+Winter). Very unlikely the Twice story will get an update next, and somewhat unlikely the LSFM story will get an update next. It's possible, but those two stories get a bit more effort on my end in terms of long-term plot, so it'll depend on how much time and energy I have to write.
As always, feel free to give any feedback you feel like giving. I still value it, even though this hobby is taking a bit of a back seat for me. I am fairly certain the quality of writing is not as good, but it's okay, I know I'm busy and it's just a casual way for me to release some of my horniness into the world. I don't take this hobby too seriously!
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reiderwriter · 2 days
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💫 Starry-Eyed 💫
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Pairing: Porn Star! Spencer Reid x fem! Reader
For the CM Kink Bingo Challenge
Summary: For work experience, you take a job working the cameras on a porn shoot, but after becoming suddenly attracted to a new coworker, you shortly find yourself as a fluffer, the person whose job it is to keep the "talent" aroused between takes.
Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI, Porn AU, College AU kinda, exhibitionism, oral sex (f receiving), consensual voyeurism, masturbation (male), blow job, deep throating, messy orgasm.
A/N: Well, look at where we are. I think this actually counts as my first Alternate Universe fic, which is crazy all things considered. I'm really enjoying the Kink Bingo Challenge as it's leading me to so many new ideas for fics!! I hope you all enjoy this one 🥰
Masterlist || Bingo Board
Being a college student still at age 25 meant many things, but mostly, it meant you had friends at many different stages of their lives. Some were fresh out of high school halls, enjoying their first taste of freedom, some were enjoying their first drops of alcohol. Some were giving up alcohol for good and starting families. 
Some of them were successful porn stars who'd funded their own start-up porn production company. It certainly was one way to use a film degree. You knew a professor or two who would enjoy her work more than half your syllabus as well. 
Candi Rapper had become famous doing cam shows in her first year of college and had gone all-in after graduation. You'd shared a few classes in the early days, before you took a break from college for financial reasons, of course. By the time you'd gone back, she was a big time and now in the position to offer you a job. 
“One of my crews is down a cameraman this weekend. If you're open to it, I pay a fair wage?” she'd offed at your weekly brunch. 
“Will you be the star?” You joked back with her. 
“You wish.” 
You took the job, of course, along with a ride from Candi (her name was Kate, but you'd let her pretend) and pulled up on site bright and alert at 7am. 
The set was a large mansion - typical, Candi said - and you'd be mostly shooting in the living room - typical, Candi said. You'd had to tell her after her second typical that you were, in fact, an adult and had seen at least one porno before until she cut out pornsplaining everything to you. She introduced you to the key staff and the director, and they got you set up at your camera. 
“The shoot today is going to be around 5 hours. You'll be on camera three. The papers in front have your cues and directions. You can have some free time until we start. There's a breakfast spread in the kitchen, help yourself.”
Not one to turn down free food, you bee-lined there and stood awkwardly in line for the coffee with the dozen or so other crew members, eyeing up the take-out pancakes organised across the granite surface. 
“Your first time?” An older man asked from behind you, smiling in a friendly manner. 
“You can tell?” 
“You're thinking about eating the pancakes, and the rest of us are remembering the scene filmed there last weekend," as if on queue, a shiver ran down his spine. "Yeah, we can tell.” You laughed along with the man's joke and finally grabbed your coffee. 
Luck just wasn't on your side, though, as you turned and immediately ran into someone immediately sloshing the coffee onto your shirt. 
“Oh my god, I am so - I'm so sorry, I need to watch where I'm going.” 
You'd run into 6’3” of lanky, awkward male perfection. He looked young, your age or younger most likely, and was fidgeting as he stood, the most obviously uncomfortable person in the building.
Your first thought was “Is he lost?” closely followed by “Can I beg him to get lost in a linen closet somewhere with me?” 
He grabbed a handful of tissues from the counter nearby and began attempting to wipe away the coffee you'd spilt down yourself, completely unaware that he was fondling your breasts in his haste to do so. 
“Slow down there, tiger, shoot doesn't start for another half hour,” you said, winking at him as you took the tissues from his panicked hands and dried yourself as best you could. 
“I know, I memorised the call sheet. Who are you?” His question was blunt, but you weren't taken aback at all, your smile even deepening as you enjoyed his subtle attention. 
“I'm Y/N. It's my first time.” 
He spluttered, coming up with an answer to that, and you immediately cursed yourself for the slip. 
“My first time on set, not my- I'm 25. Not that age determines experience per say but-”
“I'm 22. And my name is Spencer,” he said, grasping your hand and shaking it. 
“So, it's your first time on set?” He asked, relaxing more into the conversation as he stepped closer to you, letting the other staff members come and go from the kitchen. 
“Yeah. My friend offered me the job, you know Candi?” 
He nodded but didn't speak, so you continued. 
“She thought the experience would be good for me. And the cash. Gotta put myself through college somehow, and it was this or stripping.” 
He laughed, and you felt a flash of warmth in your stomach, a familiar hunger spreading across your lower body. Maybe it was just the atmosphere of the set, but the air was charged with arousal. 
“Well, you're certainly attractive enough to do both jobs. I'm sure the camera is going to love you,” he said, sounding so genuine and enthusiastic that you almost felt bad you had to correct him.
“Oh! Oh, no, Spencer, I'm not - I'm, uh, I'm going to be behind the camera. Behind camera number two.” 
His face instantly flushed, and you thought you saw a pang of disappointment there for a second, too. The thought of him being disappointed made your skin heat, that he'd been looking forward somehow to watching you get fucked? Your cunt throbbed and suddenly, you found you did wish to display yourself, to let everyone see if it meant that he got to.
“I am so sorry. I didn't - I thought… No, I didn't think, I… I'll shut up now, please excuse me-” 
“No, Spencer, wait-” 
You tried to call after him, but he sent you an embarrassed smile and walked off in haste, leaving you behind as the director called people to their places. 
You were still flushed with arousal as you moved to your station, getting your camera ready for filming. You were distracted even as the scene started, and the female actress came on set, already stripped down to her underwear and touching herself, teasing the camera. 
Surprisingly, you found the work easy enough, too busy focusing on the settings and the gaze of the camera to even care about what was going on down the lens. She was moaning and writhing and gasping sure, to the benefit of the cameras, and although strangely intimate, nobody in the room seemed bothered, so neither did you. 
Or neither did you until the actual scenario started, and your actress got ‘caught’ doing the dirty by the needy boy next door. You hadn't looked at the call sheet closely enough as Spencer peeped through the door to the bedroom, entering the scene not by accident but as a scripted part of the show. 
Your eyes bulged out of your head as you immediately looked down to your prompt sheet to find his name there. 
LEAD ACTOR: SPENCER REID
His stage name was scribbled next to that, but you paid it no attention as you steadied your camera again and got to filming seriously again. 
The actress had pulled his glasses off and led him to the bed, letting him keep on his sweater vest and tie as she pulled his head between her legs, and he started doing his job. 
Even from your view to the side of him, you could tell this wasn't his first time doing that. His tongue spread across the expanse of her heat, first, letting her grind into his face, getting comfortable before he snaked a hand up to her stomach and held her in place for as long as he so desired.
Then, he rolled her clit into his mouth and sucked. The fake moans and whimpers suddenly became real as you saw the sheer skill of his tongue ripple through the woman's body. 
You couldn't even be jealous at this point, despite how much you sorely wished that were you on the bed. Surely no girl had resorted to porn out of pure horny desire before, right? 
After a while of letting her gasp and moan under his tongue, Spencer's fingers curled inside the other woman as well. The director called cut, and he kept his fingers there, even as they walked him through the next few shots, and instructed him to unzip his pants in the next few clips. 
“Shit,” you muttered to yourself as the cameras started rolling again, and he did finally free himself from his tight khakis. 
You knew you'd probably sign up for whatever was on offer at this company next to see that gift again. Spencer wasn't an impressive size or girth, nothing so alien or out of the ordinary that it only belonged in porn. It was just that his cock looked so… pretty. 
He was an inch or two longer than any man you'd ever been with, you were sure, but his cock seemed to have an air of dignity about it. 
You had to stop yourself at that thought. Dignity? Really? You were working part-time on a porn set, and there was suddenly dignity involved? 
You rolled your shoulders back and tried to find your earlier unbothered attitude. But with his cock in his hands and his face slick with female arousal, you really couldn't bring yourself to think about anything less than his fingers roughly finger-fucking you. 
You tried to close your eyes to it, to be blind, but the wet, sticky sounds only distracted you  and you found yourself soon swaying, swaying, swaying until you had to catch yourself before the camera dropped. 
With a shout of “yes, baby, yes,” the female star came on his face, sending up a furret of fluids as he just kept diligently stroking his cock, only stopping at the director's final yell of “CUT.”
“Perfect guys, let's get her up and drinking water again. You need to stay hydrated after all that,” he joked, a PA walking over to pass the actress a robe and a bottle of water as she walked off set. 
You relaxed for a second, trying to find your quickest route out of the room so you wouldn't have to drool over the man's cock so obviously any more. 
“FLUFFER? Where's the fluffer?” The director yelled, looking around for someone who obviously wasn't there yet. 
“Well?”
Still, no one arrived to do whatever job they needed doing, and you felt desperate for escape. 
“New girl, would you mind?” Some crew member called out from the sidelines, nodding at you. 
“Oh, uh, sure,” you said, hoping that whatever job you agreed to would get you far enough from this room and the heat between your legs as possible. You were not a prude, and you would not bolt from your very first film shoot. 
“Great, get on the bed and keep the boy company,” the director said before exiting the room. 
You were absolutely on board with becoming a prude and bolting the scene as fast as your legs could carry you. Unfortunately, eight people still sat around, monitoring equipment and chatting on their breaks, and so you were forced to comply with the task. 
“We meet again,” you greeted the man stiffly as you found him on the bed, an apprehensive, tight smile on his own face.
“You don't have to do this if you're uncomfortable, I can keep myself… occupied.” 
You noticed then that his hand was still wrapped around his cock, giving it slow strokes, not enough to tip him over the edge, but just enough to maintain the erection. 
“So the fluffer….?” 
“Prepares the actors for the next scene? I need to stay- let say in shape.” 
His face flushed crimson as your gaze slipped down to his cock in his hand. 
“So you want me to-” 
“NO. No, I usually only talk to the Fluffers. Look at them, you know?” 
You nodded and found yourself suddenly going still, watching his face contort with pleasure as his eyes raked over your chest and legs. 
You couldn't help but let your eyes dart south again, and fuck did you wish you hadn't. His spare hand fisted the sheets as he stroked himself gently, practically taunting himself with the light touch. 
“You do this often?” you asked, trying to pretend you were open to having a normal conversation even while your brain begged you to climb into his lap and sink down as fast as you could. 
“You mean maaturbate or the porn thing?” 
“Porn.” 
“No. No, I come in for a shoot every few months. One of these shoots tends to fund another semester of my PhD, so-” 
Somewhere in the back of your mind, you were impressed by that admission, but your predominate thought was still “shit, shit, shit, shit.” 
“That's impressive,” you said, only catching your words as they tripped out of your mouth. “THE PHD! The PhD, I mean not your… penis? Not that it isn’t appealing, or- or-.” 
You tried your hardest to use the most clinical word you could, distancing yourself from the honeyed words you so wanted to drop in his ear to get him to crawl further up the bed and entice him to make his own scene with you. 
“Thank you. It's my third,” he said, slightly more relaxed now that you were the flustered one. 
“PhD that is. Not cock. I only have one of these.” 
“One is enough,” you say, unable to stop the words tumbling out as your eyes again find themselves following each pump of his hand up and down his cock. Inwardly, you curse your friend for starting up her stupid business and paying you to simply exist in the same hemisphere as this man without being able to ride him. 
“Do you want to touch it?” He asked, blurting the words out suddenly. As if God had answered your prayers, your heart leapt up into your throat, your pussy clenching around nothing as you shifted your hips closer to him. 
You'd thought then that you'd quite enjoy bouncing on that thing yourself, but a handshake would have to do.
“So you have to stay hard, but-” 
“But it's best I don't cum, yeah.”
“Okay. Noted.”
Slowly, you reached out a hand and gently wrapped each finger around the tip of his cock. He released himself and wrapped his now free hand around yours, setting the pace for you quickly as he engaged you in conversation again. 
“So, where are you from?” He asked, as inept at small talk as you felt in that second. 
You answered him without a fuss and returned the question. Las Vegas. That seemed to check out with how easily he'd broken into porn. There was always something happening in that city. 
"How'd you get into the business?"
"Well, Vegas, you know. A producer saw a group of... street ladies offer me a freebie and gave me his card."
You went back and forth on questions like that for a few minutes before you noticed he was coughing every few seconds to mask moans and groans, evidently too into this to request you stop. 
“Is it okay to…Can I touch you?” He asked, sounding very afraid of rejection at that second. 
“Oh, um, yes. That'd only be fair, right?” 
He ran a hand up your waist to the curve of your breast and pressed his fingers into one, digging into the skin as though it were a pillow, and he was testing it before he fell head first into it. 
Maybe that was just wishful thinking, though. 
Temporarily, you let go of him, popping the front buttons of your blouse until he could freely see all of your black and red bra, and feast on the tops of your dusty nipples, peaking out just above each cup.
You heard him inhale sharply, even as he tried to hide it, but you didn't care, too transfixed on the precum decorating his tip. 
“Would you mind-” You started, but cut yourself off quickly, biting your lower lip. 
“Mind?” 
“Can I suck it?”
You didn't know where it came from because there were probably half a dozen other people still in the room, and mostly men. But dear god, he looked delicious, and you wanted just a little sample. 
“Fuck yes,” he said, finally giving in and letting out a whole gust of breath as he slumped down a bit further, no longer holding himself rigid. “No, no, actually, please do. I'm begging, I'll beg-” 
You cut him off by pushing yourself to your knees and crawling in between his, and seconds later, you were licking the length of his cock from the base of his balls all the way to that precious drop of precum. 
Hard, but no cumming. You could do that. You'd never done it before, preferring to fully pleasure sexual partners any chance you got, but there was no time like the present to start learning. 
Slowly, you wrapped your lips around his tip and sank down, taking one inch, then another, and then another. When you reached the base of his cock, you pushed that little bit further down, calming yourself and going slowly so you didn't gag, nose pushing into his neat public hair before pulling away just as slowly and doing it again. 
You took him as deep down your throat as you could manage, and suddenly, it was like everything that kept your conversation casual and civil earlier had flown out the door. He threw his head back, fisted his hand in your hair, and moaned deep. 
The sound shook you so much you almost pushed a hand into your own underwear and started fucking yourself, needing to prepare yourself for him like a good girl. 
Around you, you could hear signs of the shoot starting back up again, people finding their places, still all but ignoring you deep-throating a porn star. 
Spencer's breaths grew more rapid as you sucked him, hips becoming restless as he tried to lift up into your mouth, hand in your hair tightening as you realised your mistake. 
You pulled off his cock and grasped it again, stroking it slowly, but it was too late. With a sharp moan and a twitch of his hips, Spencer so prettily decorated your chin and chest. His cum dripped down your face, hitting your cleavage and pushing further down to stain your nice black laced underwear white.
“Fuck! Sorry, I wasn't meant to do that, let me get some - Can I get a towel please? A baby wipe? Some tissue, anything?” His voice was panicked, but his hand on your head relaxed, and he brushed your hair gently behind your ear, as if comforting you. 
He was panicked, for sure, but the crew calmly handed him everything he needed, as if they'd been in anticipation of just this thing happening. You supposed they probably were, this being a porn set. You were sure you were supposed to clean yourself up, but instead, he grabbed a wet tissue, leaving the pack just out of your reach.
He managed to clean your face off a bit before the director returned to the room with a laugh. Running a hand through his hair and messing it up slightly, the director turned back to you.
“We're five minutes out from shoot time,” he said, shaking his head. You started to apologise, but he stopped you with a hand. 
“New girl, work whatever magic you just did and get him hard again. Five minutes.” 
“W-What?” You spluttered, trying your best to rise from your knees, but ultimately failing. You were either stiff from the position or just weak with arousal. 
“He just came, I don't think I can-”
“10 pictures I've done with that kid, and I haven't seen him cum that quickly ever before in my life. And certainly not just for some kitten licks. Do it.”
You turned back to Spencer, his cum still trickling down your chest, creating an almost uncomfortable stiffness as it dried up. 
“Pleasure working with you?” You said, not-so-secretly ecstatic that you got to sample him once more. 
“I'll be in your care,” he replied, as you begin softly kissing the head of his cock again, tipping his head back again and losing himself in the pleasure or your tongue.
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hollyoongs · 2 days
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HIDDEN LOVE || PARK JONGSEONG
@heeslomll aka my birthday twin is getting old just like me, ily so much my pookie and I really hope you have a great birthday with all your loved ones. Happy Nessa Day and Gemini's riize! 🎀💗
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𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴: unistudent!Jay x unistudent!reader (the reader is fem bodied) || 𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲: smut with ||𝘄.𝗰: +18.0k || 𝘁𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗴𝗲𝗿 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: mix of tropes (academic rivals/enemies to lovers, she fell first, but he fell harder), slowburn, lots of tension, both are super smart but completly dumb when it comes to love, choking on cock, size kink, buldge kink, bredding, hair pulling, petnames (slut, good girl, etc), daddy kink, pain kink, squirting, reader is on the pill (stay safe)
𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆: An opportunity comes to you when they offered to be part of a project that will give you recognition and put you in the map as a rising star even before graduation, but you didn't coun it was a pair project, and that you partner was Park Jongseong, sadly.
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Park Jonseong, mostly known as Jay, and you had been at odds since you met him in school; even after all those school years, the two of you matched at the same university and had the same career. Even at university, you were both top of their class, fiercely competitive, and always striving to outdo each other. Jay was known for his analytical mind and exceptional problem-solving skills, while you excelled in creativity and innovation.
Despite your differences, you and Jay were assigned as project partners for the really big projects every single time, which always led to fights and the two of you working on their own. Both of you were in class, solving each question of a test as fast as you could. You stood up as fast as you could to give the paper, but Jay was faster, and he did it first, making you roll your eyes while the teacher watched both of you playfully and slightly annoyed.
"You know the rules; stay in your seats and wait until the end of the class, but the principal needs to talk to both of you in his office; please go and take your backpacks with you."
You scrunched your face, intrigued. "Sorry about the question, but why is he calling us?"
"It's not in my hands to say, but you better get going."
"Thank you, professor. We will take it from here." You hear Jay's voice, and you see him holding your backpack in his hand. You both bowed and left the classroom. Once the door was closed, you saw your backpack being dropped to the ground. You saw the person who did it. Jay had a small smirk on his face and started walking out. You reached him and slapped the back of his head after picking up your stuff.
There was silence, a sufficient one for you; you didn't do anything wrong, and as far as you know, neither did Jay.
"Come on, loser. This is not a runway."
"Can you shut up? I'm a little bit nervous."
Jay snorted and glanced at you with an amused expression. "Nervous? Since when do you get nervous?"
You shot him a glare. "Maybe because we're being called to the principal's office for something we don't even know about."
"Relax," Jay said, his tone surprisingly gentle. "We've faced worse."
You sighed, trying to steady your breathing. "I know, but this feels different. What if it's something serious?"
Jay shrugged. "Then we'll deal with it, like we always do."
The two of you continued walking in silence until you reached the principal's office. Jay knocked on the door, and a voice called from inside, "Come in."
You exchanged a quick glance with Jay before pushing the door open. Principal Kim was seated behind his desk, his expression unreadable. He gestured for you both to sit down.
"Thank you for coming," Principal Kim began, folding his hands on the desk. "I'm sure you're wondering why I've called you here."
Jay nodded. "Yes, sir. We are."
Principal Kim leaned back in his chair. "It's come to my attention that your constant rivalry, while academically beneficial, has created a somewhat hostile environment."
You shifted uncomfortably in your seat. "We didn't mean for it to get out of hand, sir."
Principal Kim raised a hand to stop you. "I understand that competition can drive excellence, but it can also lead to unnecessary conflict. That's why I've decided to assign you both a special project."
Jay's eyes narrowed. "A special project?"
"Yes," Principal Kim confirmed. "One that will require both of your skills to complete successfully. You'll need to work together and truly collaborate if you want to succeed and carry the name of our university."
You exchanged another glance with Jay, this time with a mixture of surprise and skepticism. "What kind of project?" you asked.
Principal Kim smiled. "The contest is about the topic of your choice, but it needs to be a solution to one of these three options: better education, a sustainable environment, or better health. If you guys win, you will have two weeks off to the Maldives to present this project and gain recognition."
Jay leaned forward, his curiosity piqued. "Recognition"
Principal Kim handed each of you a folder. "All the details are in there. You have the rest of the semester to complete it. I expect nothing but your best work. But there's a catch."
You and Jay exchanged wary looks before turning your attention back to Principal Kim.
"A catch?" you echoed.
Principal Kim nodded, his expression serious. "Yes, a catch. You must work together on every aspect of this project. No dividing tasks and working separately. And since we know how both of you work individually, we will certainly know if you work separately."
As you both opened the folders, you couldn't help but feel a mix of excitement and dread. This project was unlike anything you had ever tackled before, and it was clear that it would require both of your strengths to succeed.
"Good luck," Principal Kim said as you stood to leave. "And remember, this is an opportunity to learn from each other, not just compete."
Once outside the office, you turned to Jay. "So, what do you think?"
Jay smirked. "I think this is going to be interesting; just try to keep up with me; I'm tired of beating you."
"Yeah, right. Says the sore loser that it's still mad for a junior science fair."
Jay raised an eyebrow, a smirk playing on his lips. "You're still bringing that up? Face it, I had the better project."
You rolled your eyes. "Better project, my foot. You won because the judges didn't understand my advanced methodology."
"Sure, keep telling yourself that," Jay retorted, but there was no malice in his tone, just the familiar banter that had defined your relationship for years.
As you both walked out of the principal's office and down the hallway, the tension began to dissipate. You flipped open the folder to check the rules and all the information in it. "So, what's it going to be? Better education, a sustainable environment, or better health?"
Jay went near you and glanced at the topics, considering the possibilities and not stopping the walk. "Each of these has its own challenges. What do you think?"
Jay tapped his fingers on the paper thoughtfully. "Well, a sustainable environment is broad. We could focus on renewable energy or waste management."
You nodded, appreciating his analytical approach. "True, but better education could be interesting too. There's a lot we could innovate there, especially with technology."
Both of you felt the weight of the project settle on your shoulders. "So, where do we start?" Jay asked.
You bit your lip, thinking. "How about we grab a coffee and brainstorm? We need to find common ground."
Jay smirked. "Coffee? Since when do you invite me for coffee?"
You rolled your eyes, regretting it at the same time. "Since we became project partners who needed to collaborate,"
Jay chuckled, a genuine sound that surprised you. "If you love me, say it already."
"There's a café nearby that's quiet enough for us to think." You ignored him as you walked faster to stop listening to his bullshit.
The walk to the café was filled with tense silence. Once inside, you both ordered your drinks and found a corner table.
"So," Jay began, opening the folder again. "Let's list the pros and cons of each topic."
You nodded, pulling out a notebook. "Okay, for better education, we could focus on integrating technology in classrooms, personalized learning plans, or improving teacher training."
Jay leaned forward, jotting down notes. "For a sustainable environment, we could look at renewable energy solutions, waste reduction strategies, or even urban farming."
"And for better health," you added, "we could explore mental health awareness, access to healthcare, or innovative medical technologies."
Jay looked up, meeting your eyes. "I think a sustainable environment could be our strongest angle. It's something that impacts everyone, and there's a lot of potential for innovative solutions, plus, you're very creative when it comes to ideas despite your stupidity."
You looked away for a moment, sipping your latte. It was actually the very first time that Jay had ever said something nice to you (ignoring the fact that he almost called you stupid). Jay also looked at the folder in his hands after what he said.
"I agree. Plus, we can leverage both our strengths. Your analytical skills for the technical aspects, I must say, say you are...good."
Jay smiled—a rare, genuine smile. "That I am what?"
"Nope, not saying it anymore. Don't push me."
Jay's smile never left his face. "It looks like we finally agree on something."
For the next few hours, you and Jay brainstormed ideas, drawing on each other's strengths and perspectives. The initial tension between you began to ease as you realized that working together wasn't as bad as you had imagined.
As the sun set, Jay stretched and yawned. "I think we have a solid plan to start with. Want to meet tomorrow to start diving into the research?"
You nodded, feeling strange to this new picture. "Sounds good. Let's meet at the library after class."
Jay gathered his things and stood up. "Alright, see you tomorrow then, idiot."
"Sadly."
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"So... you and Jay?"
"Cut the crap; it's my last straw." You bite your green apple. You were telling everything to your friend Karina since she was absent yesterday and missed the whole thing.
The whole university knew about you and Jay fighting over the first spot on everything.
Karina, being your closest friend, always had the front-row seat to your battles. She laughed, her eyes twinkling with amusement. "I can't believe you two are actually working together. Wonders never cease."
You sighed, taking another bite of your apple. "Yeah, it's a nightmare. But we have no choice. If we want that trip to the Maldives and the recognition, we have to make this work."
Karina shook her head, still smiling. "Who knows, maybe this will be good for you both. You might actually become friends."
You snorted. "Jay and I? Friends? I don't think so. We can barely stand each other."
"People change," Karina said, leaning back in her chair. "And sometimes, rivalry can turn into respect."
You rolled your eyes but didn't say anything. The idea of respecting Jay was still too far-fetched. Yet, you couldn't deny that the brainstorming session had gone surprisingly well.
"I've got to admit that his way of thinking surprised me, but that's it?"
"Quick question! Did he wear his glasses?" You looked at Karina in confusion.
"He wears glasses?" Karina blinks a few times in disbelief.
"The clear, thin ones, the rectagular ones? You're so blind to even see him because he's your rival."
"He wears glasses. So what."
"He literally became a topic of discussion for like a week for those glasses. He looked handsome as fuck."
You couldn't help but feel a mix of irritation and curiosity at Karina's comment. "Handsome? Jay? Are we talking about the same Jay?"
Karina rolled her eyes dramatically. "Yes, the same Jay. You're just too busy trying to outdo him to notice."
"Please. And for the record, I'm not trying; I just simply outdo him." You muttered, but you couldn't stop yourself from wondering. Had you really missed something so obvious?
Your conversation with Karina drifted to other topics, but the thought of Jay and his glasses lingered in the back of your mind. You saw your watch and cursed under your breath. "I gotta go, meeting Jay at the library."
"Oh! Go to the way back of the library; nobody listens, and the noise is blocked by the pile of books."
"Why would I go?" You stopped yourself to think about it and hit Karina with your hand, the girl laughing so hard that she almost fell. "God, you're nasty sometimes."
You ran to the library as fast as you could, the feeling of your warm cheeks being very present. You arrived at the library a few minutes early, determined to get a head start on the research after resting for a bit. You spread out your notes and started organizing your ideas as soon as you felt your heart calm down.
"Hello, loser."
You looked up to see Jay standing there, and for a moment, you were taken aback. There he was, wearing the thin, rectangular glasses Karina had mentioned; they accentuated his sharp features and gave him a more approachable and mature look. You quickly recovered, rolling your eyes. "Hey, idiot."
Jay smirked and sat down across from you. "Let's get to work."
As you dove into the research, you found yourself stealing glances at Jay, blaming Karina in your mind. Despite that, you also thanked her because you never really looked at Jay as a whole.
He was wearing silver jewelry, a black-fit yet loose plain sweater, fitted black jeans, and shoes of the same color. His hair was a dirty blonde color, which actually suited him. You had to admit, grudgingly, that Karina might have had a point. Jay did look handsome. But there was no way you were going to admit that out loud.
"So, where should we start?" Jay asked, breaking you out of your thoughts.
You cleared your throat, trying to focus. "Let's divide the topics we need to research. I'll take renewable energy, and you can start with waste management strategies."
Jay nodded, adjusting his glasses. "Sounds good. Let's aim to have a preliminary report by next week."
As you both got to work, the competitive edge in your dynamic seemed to fade, replaced by mutual respect. Maybe, just maybe, this collaboration would be more than just a necessary evil.
After a while, you took a break, stretching your arms above your head. Jay looked up from his notes, catching your eye. "Tired already?"
"I'm just taking a break," you said, trying to sound casual. "We've been at this for hours."
Jay nodded, leaning back in his chair. "True. But we're making good progress."
You smiled, feeling a strange sense of accomplishment. "Yeah, we are."
Jay's eyes softened as he looked at you, and for a moment, you saw a side of him you hadn't noticed before. Maybe Karina was right. Maybe there was more to Jay than just the competitive facade.
"Can I ask you something?" you said, surprising yourself with the question.
Jay raised an eyebrow. "Sure."
"Why do you wear glasses sometimes? I've never seen you with them before."
Jay shrugged, a small smile playing on his lips. "I usually wear contacts, but sometimes my eyes get tired. Why do you ask?"
You hesitated, feeling a bit embarrassed. "No reason. Just curious."
Jay chuckled, shaking his head. "You're a terrible liar."
"No, I'm not."
"Yes, you are." You put your pen down and looked at him straight in the eyes.
"Tell me one of those moments. I dare you."
"The moment I told you if you didn't want to be part of the president's council as a vice president after your sad and pathetic loss,"
"We were two votes apart."
"And you said to me, and I quote, "I would rather die than take part in your team," but Mr. Kim told me that you went to him to ask if the vice president position was still open for you."
"How can you remember things from like three years ago?" He went silent, opening up a notebook once again without looking, turning the look away shortly after to his notebook.
"I have a good memory, you idiot." You looked at him for a few more seconds before going back to your business, accidentally cracking a side smile that you hurried to hide from his eyes in case he was looking at you. "Also, I won't be available the next week."
"Why is that?"
"We have a basquetball tournament, and the coach wants to have a whole practice week."
"But we will get behind everything."
"Are you dumb? This project has been around for like 2 months, and it came to us yesterday."
"But we need every single day to be prepared. I don't want to lose just because you have a game," you retorted, trying to keep the frustration out of your voice.
Jay leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest. "You think I don't know that? I already have a plan. We'll work extra hours today and tomorrow. I'll do my part in the evenings after practice, and we'll check in every night to make sure we're on track."
You raised an eyebrow. "You made a plan without telling me?"
Jay shrugged. "I figured you'd be too busy panicking to come up with one yourself."
You scowled at him, but deep down, you were relieved. Despite his arrogance, Jay was dependable. "Fine. Let's see your plan."
Jay pulled out his notebook and slid it across the table to you. You scanned the pages, impressed despite yourself. He had outlined a detailed schedule with specific tasks for each of you, along with deadlines and check-in points.
"This is actually good," you admitted reluctantly.
Jay smirked. "I know. Now, let's get back to work."
The rest of the day passed in a blur of research and note-taking. By the time you left the library, the sun had long since set, and the campus was quiet. You walked out together, feeling a strange sense of peace with Jay.
"See you tomorrow, loser." He started to walk to the boys side of the dorms, getting out his headphones from his backbag.
"Hey, Park!" he stopped once you called him, the landscape making him look like he was part of a coming-of-age movie scene. You cleared your throat before speaking. "Good job today."
You saw his surprised face, but you were then surprised to see a soft smile coming from him.
"Thanks; same to you," Jay replied, his tone more sincere than you'd ever heard. He raised a hand in a casual wave before turning and continuing his walk.
The walk back to your dorm was filled with mixed thoughts and feelings. This project in just two days had somehow shifted your relationship with Jay, and you weren't sure how to process it. You couldn't deny that you were starting to see him in a different light, beyond the rivalry that had defined your interactions for so long.
When you got to your room, Karina was waiting, her curiosity evident on her face. "So, how was it?"
You sighed, dropping your bag onto your bed. "Surprisingly productive. We actually managed to get a lot done."
Karina grinned. "See? I told you it wouldn't be that bad."
You rolled your eyes, but you couldn't help but smile. "Yeah, yeah. Don't get too excited. It's just one day."
Karina laughed, walking to you to give you a warm back hug. "One day is all it takes to start something new. It's the start of something new. It feels so right to be here with you."
You changed into more comfortable clothes and sat down at your desk after slightly slapping your best friend for the second time, flipping open your notebook. As you reviewed the notes from today, you couldn't help but think about the moments you had shared with Jay. The way he had smiled, the way he had been genuinely helpful, and the way he had planned everything so meticulously.
Maybe Karina was right. Maybe this project was an opportunity for you and Jay to learn from each other and grow, not just as students but as individuals. You shake your head before your thoughts can go another way, feeling your heart beat faster than usual.
The next day, you arrived at the library to find Jay already there early, surrounded by books and papers. Both of your professors cancelled the class, and you both decided to continue to work after you told him via message.
He looked up and smiled. "Ready to get to work?"
You nodded, taking a seat beside him. "Let's do this."
As you settled into your seat, you felt a renewed sense of purpose. Despite your initial reservations, you were beginning to see the value of working with Jay. He was thorough, dedicated, and—most surprisingly—supportive.
The morning passed quickly because of the productive collaboration. You tackled different aspects of your project, occasionally bouncing ideas off each other. Jay’s analytical mind paired well with your creative approach, and together, you started to shape a solid foundation for your project on sustainable environments.
By lunchtime, you both had made significant progress. Jay leaned back in his chair, stretching his arms above his head. "I think we deserve a break."
You nodded, closing your notebook. "Agreed. Let's grab something to eat."
At the cafeteria, you both grabbed your food and found a quiet corner to sit in, far from everyone. As you ate, you saw a couple in the distance, identifying the girl as Jay's ex-girlfriend, who cheated on him throughout the whole relationship.
The sight of her stirred a mix of emotions in you. Jay can be your enemy for as long as you remember, but you felt a strange sense of protectiveness towards Jay when you heard about their breakup. Aerum dated Jay for a whole year just to make him do all her assingments, everything while cheating him with another guy as dumb as she was.
No one should be cheated on, especially after knowing everything that Jay did for her, and she just embarrassed him to her whole group of friends.
Jay noticed your gaze and followed it. His expression hardened slightly when he saw her, but he quickly composed himself, turning back to his food. "Ignore her," he muttered, but you could tell he was trying to convince himself more than you.
"Does it still bother you?" you asked, genuinely curious.
Jay shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant. "Not really. It's just... irritating to see her acting like nothing happened."
You nodded, understanding his frustration. "Well, if it makes you feel any better, you're doing great. She's the one who missed out."
Jay glanced at you, surprised by your words. "Thanks," he said softly. "That means a lot coming from you."
"Shut it," you added, rolling your eyes, trying to hide a small smile.
"No, I won't. I want to sink in that you really care for me."
"Oh God, please stop."
Jay chuckled, shaking his head. "Fine, I'll stop. But seriously, thanks."
You shrugged, feeling a bit awkward at the sudden sincerity. "Don't mention it. Just listen and don't say anything." He looked at you in a friendly manner, his hand placed behind his ear, as you once again rolled your eyes. "I mean it, though. You're talented, driven, and honestly, way too good for her."
The rest of the lunch passed in a comfortable silence, the tension from earlier dissipating as you both focused on your food. As you finished eating, Jay stood up, gathering his tray. "Ready to get back to work?"
You nodded, following suit. "Let's do it."
Back at the library, you both dived back into your project with renewed determination. The afternoon flew by as you continued to brainstorm and refine your ideas. By the time the sun began to set, you had made significant progress.
As you packed up your things to leave, Jay turned to you with a small smile. "I'll see you tomorrow."
You looked at him, confused. "We won't see each other tomorrow; you have practice."
Jay's smile widened. "Actually, practice got cancelled. The coach had some emergency meetings or something. So, we have the whole day to work on the project."
You couldn't hide your surprise. "Oh, that's… unexpected."
"Yeah," Jay said, his tone casual. "But I'm not complaining. We can use the extra time to get ahead."
You nodded, feeling a strange sense of anticipation at the prospect of spending another day working with Jay. "Yeah, let's make the most of it."
The two of you left the library together, falling into step as you walked towards the dorms. The air was warm and filled with the chatter of other students heading home for the evening.
As you reached the entrance of the dorm building, Jay turned to you. "I'll see you tomorrow then, loser."
You couldn't help but smile at the familiar insult. "See you tomorrow, idiot."
With a final wave, Jay disappeared into the building, leaving you standing outside with a strange warmth spreading through your chest.
The walk back to your room was filled with a mix of emotions and thoughts swirling in your mind. Jay's unexpected sincerity and the ease with which you had worked together today left you feeling oddly content.
Upon entering your room, you found it empty; Karina's absence was noticeable. You took a seat at your desk, pulling out your notebook to review the progress you had made today.
As you flipped through the pages, your thoughts kept drifting back to Jay. He wasn't just your competitor anymore; he was a teammate, someone you could rely on.
But even as you acknowledged this shift in your dynamic, you couldn't shake the lingering doubts and insecurities. Could you really trust Jay? Was this newfound camaraderie genuine or just a temporary ceasefire in your ongoing battle for superiority?
Pushing aside these thoughts, you forced yourself to focus on the task at hand. You had a project to complete, and dwelling on hypotheticals wouldn't get you any closer to your goal.
As you immersed yourself in your work, you couldn't help but feel a sense of excitement building within you. Despite the challenges ahead, you were determined to make this project a success.
With that resolve in mind, you dove back into your research, ready to tackle whatever obstacles came your way. And as you worked, you couldn't shake the feeling that, perhaps, this collaboration with Jay was the beginning of something truly remarkable.
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You entered your classroom and saw Jay and the teacher discussing a problem with the homework. When the teacher saw you, he called you with a hand gesture.
"Miss, your partner Jay says that a problem that I created in the assignment is wrong."
"The number 6? Yeah, it's wrong. Morning Jay."
"Morning loser." You slapped his arm and extended the paper, leaving marks of all the times the eraser passed it because there was no answer, ignoring the shocking look on your teacher's face at the rare sight of you two even saying "good morning." to each other. Jay took the paper from you, his expression turning thoughtful as he examined it.
"You're right," he said after a moment, looking up at the teacher. "There seems to be a mistake in the problem. It's not solvable as it's currently written."
The teacher frowned, taking the paper from Jay to inspect it himself. "Hmm, you're correct. My apologies for the oversight. I'll make sure to correct it for future assignments."
You exchanged a satisfied glance with Jay, feeling a sense of camaraderie in the small victory. Despite your ongoing rivalry, it was moments like these that reminded you of the mutual respect you had developed for each other.
"Thank you for bringing this to my attention," the teacher said, nodding at both of you. "I appreciate your diligence."
With that, he dismissed you both, allowing you to return to your seats. As you settled in, you couldn't help but feel a sense of pride in the way you and Jay had worked together to solve the problem.
"Nice catch, loser," you murmured to Jay as he passed by your desk.
He flashed you a quick grin. "Teamwork makes the dream work, you idiot."
After class, you both went to the library together, getting surprised looks from a few students at the sight of both of you not fighting. Jay went to the usual spot and slid a chair. You almost sat on it, but Jay was faster as he put his backpack in it. You went to the spot where you usually sit and looked at him setting things down with his mouth closed, as if he were holding a smile or a laugh.
"Let's work; remember, you will not see me due to practice the next few weeks."
"Thank God, you're annoying."
And that was actually what happened. Both of you are working, saying good-bye, and only seeing each other in class, but not after. Jay actually played the role he said he would; he sent his parts after reading your awfully long documents with the information you researched.
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For the next few weeks, you and Jay worked tirelessly on your project. There were moments of frustration and disagreement, but there were also moments of genuine collaboration and respect. You began to see a different side of Jay, one that was passionate, dedicated, and even kind.
In a blink of an eye, you encounter a problem. You tried to do it on your own, but you could swear the library lady was starting to get worried about your leg-shaking movements and how you were constantly massaging your head. You saw the clock. Jay's practice finished in one hour and ten minutes, and you growled low, picking up your stuff and going to the other side of the university to the courts.
As you were walking, you looked at your surroundings, the view making you take a deep breath in order to relax yourself. You have not taken a moment to relax yourself, even with your period. No matter how much it hurts, you keep on pushing yourself.
"Hey!" you heard a female voice, making you stop and roll your eyes at the view of Aerum, the person that called you. She was in front of you a few seconds later, making you impatient.
"What do you want, Kim?" She put a fake pout on her face.
"Oh, come one. I wanted to say hi to my ex-neighbor." You sighed. It was true that both of you were neighbors and childhood friends for a few years, until she started to get mean to you in order to fit into the popular group, a personality that she couldn't escape from.
"Come on, I don't have time." Her face changed, but you remained still, your poker face as still as you were.
"I saw you were doing a project with Jay, and I just wanted you to play cupid for both of us. You know we have history."
"No way, get lost."
"Come one! I miss him."
"You mean you miss having good grades? Why don't you go with that dumb quarterback you were sleeping with when you dated him?"
"Wait a minute, am I seeing you being defensive over Jay?"
"Yeah, because despite my hatred for him, he doesn't deserve to be treated like shit."
"Like you were treated because of your mother?" You stood there, frozen in place, and felt your heart ache at the still-vivid memory.
"Don't go there." You pointed your index finger at her, and Aerum just laughed straight at your attitude.
"Oh please!" Her voice got higher, and some students there were already looking at you two. "You started to be the smarty pants, so your mom gave you some validation or a little respect! That's why you're so pathetic."
"What is pathetic is you trying to fit in with the popular crowd by using people and treating them like garbage," you retorted, your voice low but firm. "You're the one who's pathetic, Aerum. You've always been jealous of anyone who's smarter or more talented than you."
Aerum's expression turned ugly, a mixture of anger and frustration contorting her features. "You think you're better than me, huh?"
"I don't have to think about it, Aerum. It's a fact," you replied coolly, refusing to back down. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have somewhere to be. And forget about Jay, unless you change for good and value what a great heart he has."
With that, you turned and walked away, leaving Aerum seething behind you. Or so you thought. You felt a hand on your shoulder, turning you around, and a strong punch in your mouth. You looked at Aerum, who was massaging her hand in pain. Your fingertips went straight to your lips, blood coming out of them due to her ring cutting you.
"Please, don't continue the fight." Karina's voice came into the picture, and in a few minutes, she was a few meters next to you.
"Just hold this, Rina." You extended your belongings to her as you polished your shirt and low ponytail. You grabbed Aerum by the collar of her blouse and smashed her to a nearby wall, her right side being punched by it.
As you held Aerum against the wall, you could feel the anger boiling inside you. All the pent-up frustration and resentment towards her came rushing to the surface, fueled by her cheap shot and her venomous words. But as you looked into her eyes, filled with fear and desperation, a small voice in the back of your mind urged you to stop.
Taking a deep breath, you loosened your grip on Aerum's collar, stepping back and releasing her. Despite the pain throbbing in your lip, you refused to let her drag you down to her level. "This isn't worth it," you muttered, turning away from her and walking away.
Karina followed closely behind you, concern etched on her face. "Are you okay?"
You nodded, wiping the blood from your lip with the back of your hand. "I'll live."
Karina sighed, glancing back at Aerum, who was still standing there, nursing her hand. "What was that all about?"
"Just Aerum being her usual charming self," you replied bitterly, trying to shake off the anger that still lingered within you. "Let's just go."
"Hey! Both of you!" You heard the principal's shout in the distance. "Office, now"
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When you went outside of the office with only your phone in hand, you sighed. You forced Karina to leave the dorms in order to not get involved in this. Aerum got in there and actually stayed there when several people got brave enough to tell her everything she had done, while you only got a warning, and that was written on your permanent record.
You looked at the time, cursing when you saw that Jay probably left minutes ago. You walked through the hallway with your head low to the bathrooms, looking yourself in and letting that tear escape from your eye.
What Aerum said was the truth: being the only child and having a not-loving mother had their consequences. You took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. The confrontation with Aerum had left you shaken, and the principal’s office visit had only added to your stress. You splashed some cold water on your face, hoping it would help clear your mind.
As you looked at your reflection, you couldn’t help but feel a pang of sadness. The memories of your mother and the constant pressure to excel weighed heavily on you.
You took a small piece of paper to put on your wound and hid your phone in your jacket as you got out of the bathroom, seeing a few guys in front of you. You froze in place when you could recognize that dirty blonde hair turning around at the sound of the door.
He looked at you and then your lips; your only solution was to turn around and run to your place, not wanting to confront him.
"Hey! Please stop!" You heard him scream, and you felt so sensible still that your eyes got watery again, making you slow down as you started to see blurry.
Jay caught you up and placed himself in front of you, holding your head high. The moment you tried to lower it again, he looked at your lip, and his face hardened.
"Jay…"
"Who the fuck did it?" His voice sounded angry, and you just moved your head.
"Jay, don't make a fuss."
"Who should I punch? Tell me." Tears started to wet your cheeks, and your hands were trembling while you hugged yourself.
"Jay, please don't say anything. I… I need you to hug me; please, I'm begging you."
Jay’s expression softened as he saw the tears streaming down your face. Without another word, he pulled you into a tight embrace, holding you close as you sobbed into his chest. His arms wrapped around you protectively, and you could feel the warmth and comfort of his presence.
“It’s okay,” he whispered, gently stroking your hair. “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”
You clung to him, feeling the weight of the day’s events slowly start to lift. Jay’s steady heartbeat and soothing words helped calm your racing thoughts, and for the first time in what felt like forever, you allowed yourself to let go of the stress and pain.
After a few moments, you pulled back slightly, looking up at him with red-rimmed eyes. “Thank you, Jay."
"I'm taking you to my dorms; I'm cleaning your wound." It was like both of you forgot that you hated each other. The moment he held your hand, it sent you shivers as he walked with you to his dorms, a five-minute walk to his shared room, and a solid three-minute walk without anybody noticing it.
Once he opened the door, you were welcomed by a clean environment and a two-bed room. You raised an eyebrow at the view after Jay placed you on one of the beds.
"My ex-roomate left for his house; it was cheaper."
Jay rummaged through a small first-aid kit, pulling out antiseptic wipes and a bandage. He sat down beside you on the bed, his touch gentle as he cleaned the cut on your lip. You winced slightly at the sting, but his careful attention made it bearable.
“Sorry,” he murmured, his eyes focused on the task at hand. “I just don’t want it to get infected.”
“It’s okay,” you replied softly, watching him work. The closeness between you felt strange yet comforting. It was a stark contrast to the animosity that usually defined your interactions.
Once he finished, he looked up at you, his eyes searching for yours. “Uhm, do you feel ready to tell me what happened?”
A brief silence made its way into the conversation, making you lower your head after you got cured.
"Aerum wanted to get back with you, and I kind of defended you."
Jay’s eyes widened in surprise. “You defended me?”
You nodded, feeling a blush creep up your cheeks. “Yeah, I don't like you that much, but I couldn’t stand the thought of her using you again.”
Jay’s expression softened, and he reached out to gently lift your chin, forcing you to meet his gaze. “Wow, thank you, loser,” he said sincerely. “That means a lot to me.”
You felt a flutter in your chest at his words, and the sincerity in his eyes made your heart race. “Teamwork makes the dream work, right?” You admitted that your voice was barely above a whisper.
Jay’s thumb brushed against your cheek, sending a shiver down your spine. “It does,” he said, his voice soft and contemplative.
You looked into his eyes, feeling a connection that you had never acknowledged before, and it was scary. The tension between you seemed to dissolve, replaced by a warmth that you couldn’t ignore. Without thinking, you both leaned in, your lips meeting his in a gentle, tentative kiss.
The kiss was soft at first, but it quickly deepened as you both gave in to the emotions that had been building between you—emotions both of you didn't know you had. Jay’s hands cupped your face, pulling you closer as your arms wrapped around his neck. The world seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of you in that moment.
When you finally pulled away, you were both breathless, your foreheads resting against each other.
"Look, I-"
"Jay, can I have today's class notes?" A knock on the door made your guys eyes wide open, separating almost immediately.
"I'm sorry."
"No, I'm sorry." Jay said hurriedly as he stood up, and you did the same. "Well, that was interesting."
"Very." You both walked to the door, but before, you two locked eyes for a moment.
"See you tomorrow, idiot."
"Sure thing, loser." You opened the door, not even looking at the person as you practically ran to your dorms at the speed of light. You literally opened the door so fast that Karina got scared.
“Whoa, what happened to you?” She asked, concern lacing her voice.
You shook your head, trying to catch your breath. “Nothing, I... think I just kissed Jay,” you mumbled, watching a dead point in the wall. Karina stopped herself, watching you with her big eyes.
"You what?"
"I. Think. I. Kissed. Jay." Karina literally jumped up from her seat, her eyes wide with excitement.
“You kissed Jay?! Oh my gosh, tell me everything!”
“It just happened. He cleaned my wound, and then we kissed. It was… intense.”
Karina squealed, clapping her hands together. “This is huge! I knew there was something between you two. So, what now?”
“What do you mean by "what know?"”
"You guys didn't even talk about what you were after that?!"
"It should be talked about." Karina held her head in her hands, and she breathed when you said that.
"Yes! I mean, you guys can’t just kiss and then pretend nothing happened, right?” Karina exclaimed, her eyes wide with disbelief.
You sighed, flopping onto your bed. “I don’t know, Karina. Everything is so confusing right now. One moment we hate each other, and the next..."
Karina sat down beside you, her expression softening. “Look, I know it’s complicated. But you need to talk to him. Figure out what this means for both of you.”
You nodded, feeling the weight of her words. “You’re right. I just… I need some time to process everything.”
Karina smiled, giving your hand a reassuring squeeze. “Take your time. But don’t wait too long, okay?”
As the night wore on, you found it increasingly difficult to concentrate on anything other than the events of the day. The kiss with Jay played on a loop in your mind, each detail vividly etched into your memory. The touch of his lips, the warmth of his hands, the intensity in his eyes—it all made your heart race.
Karina, sensing your distraction, eventually left you alone to process your thoughts. You lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, replaying the moment over and over. You wondered what it meant for the two of you. Was it just a spur-of-the-moment thing, or was there something deeper behind it?
When you entered class, you didn't even look up at Jay; you went straight to the desk and started taking your stuff out. You couldn't even sleep properly because you were overthinking, and overthinking led to conclusions. A conclusion that made you afraid, but you realized it was just the truth.
You liked Park Jongseong. You liked your nemesis.
When did it happen? You didn't even know. Maybe it was during one of those intense debates where his passion matched yours in high school that the fire in his eyes ignited something within you. Or perhaps it was the rare, fleeting moments when you saw him vulnerable, a crack in his confident facade revealing a depth you hadn't anticipated. It was in those shared silences that the competitive tension melted into something inexplicably intimate.
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As the days passed, you found yourself drawn to his brilliance, his unwavering determination, and the way he challenged you to be better and sharper. The rivalry that once felt like a battle now seemed like a dance, a complex, beautiful interaction where every move he made pushed you to discover new strengths within yourself.
The realization was both terrifying and exhilarating. You had always prided yourself on your independence and your clarity of purpose. Yet here you were, your heart racing at the thought of Jay, feeling a pull that defied logic and reason. In acknowledging this truth, you confronted a vulnerability you hadn't allowed yourself to feel before.
Jay was more than an adversary. He was a mirror reflecting not only your ambition but also your capacity for deep, unexpected connection. This newfound awareness made you question everything—your goals, your path, and the very nature of love and competition.
In that moment of clarity, as you sat there pretending to focus on your notes, you understood that this love wasn't a distraction or a weakness. It was a profound, transformative force, one that had the potential to reshape your world and redefine the boundaries between rivalry and romance.
But the thing was, were you ready to actually tell Jay? Hell no.
After class, you hurried to gather your things, hoping to escape before Jay could catch up with you, but it could be a stupid thing to do since you were both meeting at the library for the project. But as you reached the door of the library, you felt a hand gently grab your arm. You turned to see Jay standing there, his expression a mix of something you couldn't describe.
“Hey, can we talk? Before entering,” he asked, his voice soft but insistent.
You nodded, unable to trust your voice to respond. You stood there, both of you silent for a moment, as you tried to find the right words.
“About yesterday,” Jay began, running a hand through his hair. “I just... I didn’t expect that to happen.”
“Me neither,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. “It just… it just did.”
Jay nodded, looking down at the ground for a moment before meeting your eyes again. “But it happened."
"It did," you said, the air getting thicker as you both didn't know what to say.
"Please don't take this too deep, but can we actually put this talk on hold and straight-up focus on the project?"
"Please." The words came immediately, and that made Jay throw a nervous laugh mixed with yours.
"Okay, then… Let's get to work. The paper is in a few days."
The next few days were a whirlwind of research, late-night study sessions, and endless discussions about your project. Despite the unresolved tension between you and Jay, you both managed to stay focused and work together effectively. The looming deadline was a constant reminder of the importance of your task, pushing any personal distractions to the background.
In the library, you and Jay sat side by side, surrounded by books and papers. The atmosphere was charged with a mixture of urgency and unspoken emotions. Occasionally, your hands would brush as you reached for the same book or piece of paper, sending jolts of electricity through you both. Each time, you would quickly pull away, exchanging awkward glances, before diving back into your work.
You two didn't even fight anymore, mostly because of that incident.
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“Hey, Jay?” You said it softly, breaking the silence. You were both waiting for the call from the principal after a small meeting he had in his office, and your hearts were beating faster than usual. Jay looked at you, the big folder in his hands with all the projects printed, forgetting to pay attention to you.
“Yeah?”
“I just wanted to say thank you. For everything. You’ve been really great.”
A small smile tugged at the corner of his lips. “Thanks, loser. You too.”
The moment hung between you, heavy with the weight of unsaid words. You rolled your eyes at the very usual nickname he gave you.
"Both of you have been called; you can enter now." You did what she said and went inside. You took a deep breath before going in. The principal gave a big smile to you two and welcomed you with open arms.
"Did you guys bring the presentation?"
"Yes, we did. Not only printed, but we also have a presentation, the document online, sketches that support some of the information there, and notes that complement the information on the official document," you said while Jay was putting everything on the big desk. The principal smiled bigly at the papers and later at both of you.
"We'll keep you guys informed; you are probably the first ones to send this, so we will have a response soon if this is the winner or not. The judges of the school will verify what we said, and we will send them to the contest."
"Thank you so much for this opportunity; we are really confident." Jay said it with a smile on his face, and you did the same.
"You guys are dismissed."
You both left the principal’s office with a mix of relief and nervous anticipation. The weight of the project had been lifted, but the unresolved tension between you and Jay lingered in the air. As you walked side by side through the hallway, you couldn't help but feel a sense of unease, unsure of what would come next.
"Well, that’s done," Jay said, breaking the silence. He glanced at you, his expression unreadable.
"Yeah, finally," you replied, trying to muster a smile. "Now, we just wait."
Jay nodded, and for a moment, neither of you spoke. The unspoken emotions from the kiss still hung heavily between you, creating palpable tension.
"Listen," Jay began, his voice hesitant, "about the kiss. We should probably talk about it. I mean, we can’t just ignore it forever, right?"
You felt a knot form in your stomach. "I know. It’s just... complicated."
"Yeah, it is," Jay agreed. He stopped walking and turned to face you. "But I think we need to figure out what it means for us."
You looked into his eyes, seeing a mix of uncertainty and determination. Taking a deep breath, you nodded. "You're right. We do."
"How about we go somewhere more private? My dorm is free if you want to talk there," Jay suggested, his tone gentle.
"Okay," you agreed, feeling a mixture of anxiety and relief.
The walk to Jay’s dorm was quiet; both of you were lost in your own thoughts. When you arrived, Jay opened the door and gestured for you to enter first. The room was tidy, and you both sat down on the bed you had shared earlier when he cleaned your wound.
"So," Jay began, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly, "where do we start?"
"I guess we start with how we feel," you said, feeling your heart race. "I mean, I’ve been trying to figure it out myself."
Jay nodded, his eyes focused on you. "Me too. And I think I know how I feel, but I want to hear from you first."
You took a deep breath, feeling the weight of the moment. "Jay, I feel the kiss was an impulse, the moment, the tension mostly. I was very sad and hurt that day, and that was just. unexpected on my part. I'm really sorry if that kiss made you grossed out."
Silence once again filled the room. You saw Jay's eyes; they were simply blank, not showing any signs of emotion, and that just made you even more nervous. You actually didn't know why you even said that, but it was too late to take it back now. You bit your lip, avoiding his gaze and waiting for his response.
Jay sighed, his shoulders tensing a bit. “You think it was just the moment?”
You nodded, feeling a pang of guilt. “I think so. It was intense, but it was also confusing. I was emotional and... I’m sorry, Jay.”
Jay looked at you for a long moment. “You don’t need to apologize. I understand. It’s been a stressful time for both of us. I was also about to tell you that.”
You felt a wave of relief, but also a hint of sadness. You had expected him to say something different—maybe even confess that he felt something more. Instead, he was letting you off the hook, making it easier for you to retreat back into the safety of your previous dynamic.
Jay stood up and moved to his desk, picking up a book and pretending to flip through it. “So, what now? Do we just go back to how things were?”
You stood up as well, feeling a surge of frustration. “I don’t know, Jay. I just… I need some time to figure things out.”
He nodded, still not looking at you. “Okay. Take all the time you need. We’ll figure it out.”
You felt a lump form in your throat, but you forced a smile. “Thanks, Jay. And... thanks for being understanding.”
He finally looked up, giving you a small, sad smile. “Anytime, loser.”
You chuckled, the nickname bringing a sense of normalcy back to the situation. “See you around, idiot.”
With that, you left his dorm, your mind swirling with conflicting emotions. You needed time, but you couldn’t help but wonder if you were making a mistake by pushing him away. The truth was, you did feel something during that kiss—something more than just a momentary impulse. But admitting that to Jay and yourself was terrifying.
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Over the next few weeks, probably the two longest weeks you've ever had, you threw yourself into your studies and extracurricular activities, trying to distract yourself from thoughts of Jay. You saw him in class, but the tension between you was still palpable. He was polite, even friendly, and his mean demeanor toward you didn't change too much, but there was a distance that hadn’t been there before.
You were walking back to your dorm, reading the notes you took in class for a test the next day.
“Hey, loser!” You heard Jay's voice, and you turned so quickly for something. He was running to you with a smile on his face, holding a paper in his hand as he excused himself from the students walking in the same direction as you.
“What?” you asked, trying to muster some enthusiasm from him once he stood in front of you.
"Read." You took the paper once you realized this, and your mouth gradually opened in shock.
""We would like to inform you that HYBE University won first place and are going to be welcoming with open arms to present their project and get the deserved award...""
"We are going to the Maldives!" You jumped to Jay, and he held you tight, your legs getting locked in his waist since you jumped too high. He laughed, spinning you around before gently setting you back down. The excitement of the moment washed over both of you, momentarily erasing all the tension and confusion.
"This is amazing!" you exclaimed, your eyes shining with joy. "I can't believe it!"
"Me neither," Jay agreed, his smile just as wide. "We did it, loser."
As the initial excitement began to settle, you both stayed that way, the weight of everything that had happened between you lingering in the air. You could feel the unspoken emotions bubbling just beneath the surface, but for now, the happiness of your shared success took precedence.
"Now, we need to get prepared for those two weeks."
"We sure do," he said. Your eyes scanned his face. His not wearing glasses again made you see his eyes, glazed by the excitement. His cheeks were a slight shade of pink, and his lip was with his characteristic lip slit of how he used to peel a part of its skin when he was anxious, something you caught when you started to see him in another light.
"How do we even start?"
"Probably by putting me back to the ground first."
"Oh, shit. I'm sorry." He then did what you said gently, his fingertips traveling quickly by your waist, making your heart beat slightly faster. You looked at the paper and saw some details that you missed during the moment.
"Appearantly, we only need to pack enough, talk with our teachers, and get our passports ready."
"Want me to do that for you? You can't do things well on your own."
"Cut the crap, clown."
"Finally, a new nickname is coming from you." You rolled your eyes as you opened your back and put your stuff there.
"We will see each other next week in an airport; keep in contact with me if you want me to do anything in case you can for that other occasion."
Jay looked at you in surprise. "You know."
"You won the last three games; this is the final, right? Everyone has talked about it; I have been trying to escape from it."
"Oh yeah, it's actually in a few minutes."
"Then why aren't you in uniform?"
"I have to rush to my dorm; I cleaned it up."
"Good luck in your game."
"You… yeah, thanks. Gotta rush, loser. I need more extracurriculars than you!" You watched him disappear, a mix of relief and something else you couldn’t quite identify settling in your chest. The weeks ahead were going to be intense, not just because of the trip to the Maldives, but because you had no idea how things would unfold between you and Jay.
You went to your room. Karina was getting ready to watch the game and support her boyfriend, Jaewook. You put all your stuff on top of your bed as you started talking about the good news to Karina, and she didn't stop at all from telling you how happy she was for you.
"Are you not going to the game?"
"You know I'm not into sports."
"Please, you are the only one who can explain to me what the hell is going on there. Beside, don't even dare to lie to me after I gave you the Shaq t-shirt." You laugh for a moment.
"Just go to the game and have fun." She let out a sigh as she took her cellphone and waved goodbye. You did your normal routine: wash up, have a snack, and open your books to keep studying. You were so used to that routine that it almost felt comforting in its predictability. But tonight, something was different. Jay’s excitement about the Maldives trip, his playful banter, and his unexpected vulnerability had all left you feeling unsettled.
You tried to focus on your notes, but the words seemed to blur together. Your mind kept drifting back to Jay, his smile, and the way he had held you so tightly. You sighed and closed your textbook, admitting defeat. Maybe Karina was right. Maybe you did love Jay and need a break.
Grabbing a Seattle Supersonics t-shirt from your drawer, you quickly changed and headed towards the gym. As you walked, you could hear the faint roar of the crowd growing louder with each step. You reached the entrance, and the energy inside the gymnasium hit you like a wave. The bleachers were packed, with students wearing school colors, having their faces painted, and holding up signs.
You spotted Karina in the front row, screaming with the crowd. You made your way over, squeezing through the crowd, and sat down beside her.
“So you did come,” she shouted over the noise, her eyes shining with excitement while poking you.
“Yeah, well, I figured I could use a break,” you replied, trying to hide your nervousness, but Karina just knows you too well.
"Stop lying to yourself; you came because you wanted to finally see a game." You looked at the court, seeing Jay playing and running around with a serious face.
"I came to see someone playing in the game." You finally let it out to her, her eyes widening at you finally revealing the truth.
"You came to see Jay?!"
"You told me to stop lying to myself. I'm doing it."
The game was already underway, with the players moving fast across the court. Your eyes were always on Jay. He was in his element, focused, and determined. Despite the distance that had grown between you, you couldn't help but feel proud of him in every way possible.
As the game progressed, you found yourself getting caught up in the excitement. You cheered along with the crowd, feeling a rush of adrenaline every time Jay made a play. The tension between the two teams was palpable, with each point bringing them closer to the final buzzer.
With only a few minutes left on the clock, the score was tied. The crowd was on the edge of their seats, the air thick with anticipation. Jay had the ball, weaving through the defenders with a skill that left you breathless. He made a final, daring shot just as the buzzer sounded.
The ball sailed through the air, time seeming to slow down as everyone held their breath. Then, with a perfect swish, it went through the hoop. The gym erupted in cheers, the crowd going wild. Jay’s team had won.
You jumped to your feet, screaming and clapping along with everyone else. Jay was mobbed by his teammates, their faces alight with joy. He looked up into the stands, his eyes searching until they found yours. For a brief moment, your eyes locked, and he gave you a small, almost shy smile.
After the game, you and Karina made our way down to the court. Jaewook was already there, lifting Karina off her feet in a celebratory hug. You stood back, watching the happy scene unfold around you.
Jay was surrounded by his teammates, all of them laughing and patting him on the back. He looked like he was on top of the world, but when his eyes found you again, you could see a different kind of excitement there, one that seemed to be just for you.
He broke away from the group, jogging over to you. “Hey, loser.” he said, but his voice was softer than usual, almost hesitant.
“Hey, champion,” you replied, a teasing smile on your lips. “Nice game.”
“Thanks.” He ran a hand through his sweat-dampened hair, looking almost nervous. “I saw you in the stands. I didn’t think you’d come.”
“Well, I figured it was time to see what all the fuss was about,” you said, shrugging nonchalantly, even though your heart was pounding.
Jay laughed, a sound that seemed to lighten the air between you. “I’m glad you did.” He hesitated, glancing around at the bustling crowd before turning back to you. “So, Maldives, huh? I guess we’ll be seeing a lot of each other.”
"Yeah, it looks like it.” You met his gaze, the unspoken tension swirling between you. “I’m sure we can handle it, right?”
“Of course. Just keep your distance, and we’ll be fine,” he said with a smirk, though his eyes betrayed the words. There was something deeper there, something he wasn’t saying.
“Same goes for you,” you shot back, the familiar banter masking the undercurrent of emotions.
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A week later, you found yourself at the bustling airport, rolling your suitcase behind you. The excitement of the upcoming trip was mixed with a sense of nervousness, mostly because you knew Jay would be there too, but the excitement of getting yourself known in such a community where opportunities will arrive just puts you in such a good mood. You scanned the crowd, looking for familiar faces among your classmates and professors.
“Hey, loser,” Jay’s voice called out from behind you. You turned to see him striding toward you, a grin on his face. He was dressed casually in a hoodie and jeans, with a backpack slung over one shoulder and his glasses. Even in a casual outfit, he looked good in every aspect.
“Hey, clown,” you replied, trying to keep your tone light. “Ready for the Maldives?"
“As ready as I’ll ever be.” He adjusted his backpack, glancing around. “Checked in already?”
“Yeah, just waiting for the other teachers,” you said, nodding toward the rest of a group of other universities from South Korea that were attending too. “You?”
“I just got here. I almost missed my ride,” he said with a chuckle. “Typical, right?”
“Very typical,” you said, rolling your eyes but smiling. “Let’s get in line for security. We don’t want to be the ones holding everyone up.”
As you made your way through security and to the gate, the conversation was surprising easy, filled with the usual teasing and playful jabs that some teachers were preventing due to your habit of slapping someone. The flight itself was uneventful and quiet since both of you wore your headphones and Jay went to sleep while you revised the content. Soon enough, you were landing in the Maldives, the excitement of the new surroundings washing over you.
After going through customs and collecting your luggage, you and Jay found yourselves standing side by side, waiting for the bus that would take you to the hotel.
“First time in the Maldives?" Jay asked, glancing at you.
“Yeah,” you said, looking out at the busy airport. “You?”
“Same here. It should be interesting.” He looked at you, a slight smile playing on his lips. “Hope you don’t get lost.”
“I won’t if you don’t get in my way, idiot.” You shot back, but there was no bite in your words.
The bus ride to the hotel was filled with chatter and laughter from the other groups, everyone buzzing with excitement. Jay sat next to you, both of you quietly taking in the sights as the city unfolded around you.
As you and Jay approached the front desk to check into the hotel, the clerk greeted you with a polite smile.
“Welcome to our hotel,” she said, typing away at her computer. “Let me check your reservations. Ah, it looks like we have a slight issue.”
Your heart sank. “What kind of issue?” you asked, exchanging a worried glance with Jay.
“Well, it appears that your school made the reservations quite late, and due to the high demand, we only have one room left for you two,” she explained, looking apologetic. “It’s one of our best suites, but it only has one bed.”
You felt your face heat up, and from the corner of your eye, you could see Jay shifting uncomfortably. “Are you sure there aren’t any other rooms?” you asked, trying to keep the panic out of your voice.
“I’m afraid not,” the clerk said, shaking her head. “I apologize for the inconvenience, but I assure you it’s a very spacious room.”
Jay cleared his throat, attempting to sound nonchalant. "Well, I guess we don’t have much of a choice, do we?”
You sighed, feeling flustered but trying to stay composed. “I guess not,” you muttered. “Let’s just get our keys.”
The clerk handed you the key cards and offered a sympathetic smile. “I hope you enjoy your stay. If you need anything, please don’t hesitate to ask.”
You and Jay headed to the elevator in silence, both of you clearly uncomfortable with the situation. As the elevator doors closed, Jay finally broke the silence. “This is going to be interesting,” he said, his tone dry.
“You can say that again,” you replied, feeling a mix of frustration and nervousness. “Let’s just try to make the best of it.”
When you reached the room, you swiped the key card and pushed the door open. The suite was indeed luxurious, with a large bed dominating the center of the room, a sitting area, and a balcony with a breathtaking view of the city. There was palpable tension in the air as you both took in the room.
“Well, at least it’s a nice room,” Jay said, trying to sound upbeat.
“Yeah,” you agreed, setting your suitcase down. “I guess we should figure out how to make this work.”
Jay nodded, looking slightly uncomfortable. “We can set some boundaries. I’ll take the couch if you want.”
You glanced at the couch, which looked plush but not exactly ideal for sleeping. “That’s not necessary. The bed is big enough for both of us, as long as we stick to our sides.”
“Deal,” Jay said, a hint of relief in his voice. “Let’s just focus on the project and not let this get weird.”
“Agreed,” you said, though you couldn’t ignore the fluttering in your stomach.
After unpacking a few things and freshening up, you saw a letter with today's date. You reached for it as you opened it.
"You guys are invited to the welcome dinner tonight at 7 p.m. in the main banquet hall. We hope to see you there as we kick off this exciting week. Sincerely, The Conference Committee."
You read the invitation aloud, and Jay glanced at his watch. “That’s in a few hours. It should give us enough time to settle in and maybe explore a bit,” he said.
“Good idea,” you agreed, feeling a bit more relaxed now that there was a plan. "Let's go and check out the beach"
Jay’s face lit up. “Absolutely. I’ve been dying to see the water.”
After changing into more casual, beach-friendly attire, you both headed down to the lobby and out towards the hotel’s private beach. The sun was beginning to set, casting a golden glow over the sand and waves. It was picturesque, like something out of a travel magazine.
“Wow,” you said, taking it all in. "The view is amazing"
Jay nodded, his eyes on the horizon, and later on, without your noticing it, your beauty was breathtaking to him. “It makes the awkward room situation a bit more bearable, doesn’t it?”
You laughed, feeling the tension ease even more. “Yeah, it does.”
You walked along the shore as the sky turned pink and purple with the setting sun. You both found a spot to sit and watch the waves roll in. It was peaceful, a stark contrast to the bustling airport and the initial stress of the room mix-up; everything felt beyond different. If someone had ever told you that in a few years you and Jay would have a peaceful moment on a beach without saying mean things to each other, you would've laughed so hard that your stomach would hurt.
“Do you think this conference will really open doors for us?” you asked, voicing a thought that had been lingering in your mind.
Jay looked thoughtful. “I think it’s what we make of it. If we put ourselves out there, network, and showcase our best work, then yeah, it could lead to some great opportunities.”
You nodded, appreciating his optimism. “I guess it’s just a bit intimidating, you know? There are so many talented people in one place.”
“True,” Jay agreed, “but you belong here as much as anyone else. Don’t sell yourself short.”
His words were comforting, and for the first time, you looked at him with red cheeks, his gaze already at you and not even breaking eye contact.
After a while, you both headed back to the hotel to get ready for the welcome dinner. The suite felt less awkward now; the initial discomfort was replaced by a budding sense of friendship. As you dressed up for the evening, you couldn’t help but feel a mix of excitement and nerves about what the night would bring.
When you and Jay arrived at the banquet hall, it was already buzzing with activity. Professors, students, and industry professionals mingled, and the air was filled with lively conversation and laughter. You spotted your classmates and professors and waved, feeling a bit more at ease in the familiar company.
“Ready to dive in?” Jay asked, offering a reassuring smile.
“Ready as I’ll ever be,” you replied, taking a deep breath.
As you and Jay entered the bustling banquet hall, you were immediately swept into the lively atmosphere. The room was filled with the buzz of conversation, laughter, and the clinking of glasses. You and Jay made your way through the crowd, exchanging pleasantries and introducing yourselves to various professors and students from universities around the world.
At one point, you found yourself deep in conversation with a group of students discussing their projects. Jay was beside you, engaging with a professor who seemed particularly interested in his work. As the night progressed, you both mingled separately, meeting new people and making connections.
It was during one of these moments that you met Doyoung, a student from another university. 
His tall, lean frame was draped in a tailored suit that accentuated his poised elegance. Dark, almond-shaped eyes, deep with intellect and warmth, scanned the room, each glance imbued with a sense of calm assurance. His jet-black hair, perfectly styled, framed a face that was striking in its symmetry—high cheekbones, a slender nose, and lips that hinted at a perpetual, gentle smile. There was an aura about him—an effortless blend of sophistication and approachability—and you quickly found yourself engrossed in a conversation about your shared interests. Doyoung had a way of making you feel at ease, and you enjoyed the easy flow of dialogue between you.
“So, what’s been your favorite part of the conference so far?” Doyoung asked, his eyes sparkling with genuine curiosity.
“Well, it’s only just started, but I’d say the welcome dinner is pretty high up there,” you replied with a laugh. “It’s been great meeting so many passionate people.”
“Yeah, it’s definitely a great start,” Doyoung agreed, smiling warmly, his eyes eyeing you up and down. “I’m looking forward to seeing what the rest of the week brings.”
As you continued to chat, you were unaware of Jay’s gaze from across the room. He had finished his conversation and was scanning the crowd, his eyes landing on you and Doyoung, far away. There was an unfamiliar feeling gnawing at him as he watched you laugh and engage so effortlessly with this new acquaintance.
Jay felt a twinge of jealousy, though he tried to push it aside. He didn’t want to admit it, but seeing you with someone else, someone who seemed to be getting along with you so well, made him feel uneasy. He took a sip of his drink, trying to refocus his attention on the conversations around him, but his eyes kept drifting back to you and Doyoung.
Meanwhile, you were oblivious to Jay’s inner turmoil. 
As the evening wore on, Jay found himself standing on the periphery of the room, his gaze still occasionally drifting toward you and Doyoung. He couldn’t help but feel a bit sidelined, despite his own successful interactions throughout the night. He knew he had no right to feel this way, but the jealousy lingered.
Finally, you noticed Jay standing alone and excused yourself from Doyoung. You walked over to Jay with a concerned look on your face. "Hey, are you okay? You’ve been quiet for a while.”
Jay snapped out of his thoughts, forcing a smile. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just taking a breather.”
“Come on, let’s go to eat; it looks like they are about to serve,” you said, tugging at his sleeve. “And we’ve still got a lot of people to meet.”
Eventually, hours passed, the nipght began to wind down, and people started to head back to their rooms. You and Jay walked back to your suite, the comfortable silence returning between you.
“That Doyoung guy seems nice,” Jay remarked casually as you entered the room.
“Yeah, he is,” you agreed, setting down your things. “It was great meeting him.”
Jay nodded, not saying anything further, but having that weird feeling inside him. You both settled into your places, backs facing each other.
“Goodnight, Jay,” you said, feeling a sense of contentment.
“Goodnight, dumbass.”
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One week later, the day of the presentations and award ceremony had finally arrived. The atmosphere was electric with anticipation as participants milled about, reviewing notes, and giving each other last-minute pep talks. You and Jay were backstage, waiting for your turn to present; the presentation was only about the winners, going from third place to first.
You felt a knot of nervousness tightening in your stomach as you watched the other presenters go up on stage. You tried to focus on your breathing and keeping your outfit perfect—a tight, elegant, short black dress that matched Jay's suit—but the anxiety was creeping up on you, making it hard to concentrate on both actions.
Jay noticed your fidgeting and put a reassuring hand on your shoulder. “Hey, you’ve got this,” he said, his voice calm and steady. “We’ve practiced a million times. You know the material inside and out.”
You managed a small smile, appreciating his support. “Thanks, Jay. I just… I don’t want to mess this up.”
“You won’t,” he said firmly. “Just remember to breathe and take your time. We’re a team, and we’ll get through this together.”
Before you could respond, Doyoung appeared, a wide grin on his face. “Hey! Ready to wow everyone?” he asked, his tone a bit too enthusiastic.
You nodded, trying to muster up some confidence. “Trying to be.”
Doyoung got near you, his hand on your waist and lips on your neck, surprising you the innapropiate action. “You’ll be great. Just remember, no one will notice if you mess up a little. Besides, even if you do, it’s not the end of the world. Right, Jay?”
Jay’s eyes narrowed slightly, sensing the unhelpful tone in Doyoung’s words and action. “Right,” he said, his voice cool as he got closer to you, his back facing you and looking straight up to Doyoung's eyes. “But we’re not planning on messing up, are we?”
Doyoung laughed, seemingly oblivious to Jay’s irritation. “Of course not. Just saying, there is no need to be too stressed. Anyway, break a leg!” With that, he sauntered off, leaving you feeling more jittery than before.
Jay turned back to you, his expression softening. “Ignore him,” he said gently. “You’re going to do amazing. Just focus on what we’ve practiced. You’ve got this.”
You took a deep breath, feeling a bit more centered thanks to Jay’s words. “Okay. Let’s do this.”
When it was finally your turn, you and Jay stepped onto the stage. The bright lights momentarily blinded you, and the sea of expectant faces made your heart race. But then you glanced at Jay, who gave you an encouraging nod.
As you began your presentation, the initial nerves started to fade. The familiar rhythm of your practiced lines and the supportive presence of Jay beside you helped you find your footing. You presented your project with clarity and confidence, your voice growing steadier with each passing moment.
Jay’s part of the presentation flowed seamlessly, his calm demeanor and articulate delivery complementing your own. Together, you made a strong team, and by the time you finished, the audience was clearly impressed, responding with enthusiastic applause.
Backstage, you let out a relieved breath, feeling a wave of accomplishment wash over you. “We did it,” you said, turning to Jay with a grin.
Jay smiled back, his eyes shining with pride. “I told you we would. You were incredible.”
“Thanks to you,” you replied, feeling a warmth spread through you at his praise.
Doyoung reappeared, clapping his hands. “Great job, you two! I knew you had it in you.”
“Thanks, Doyoung,” you said, though you couldn’t help but feel a bit of annoyance at his earlier comments.
Jay, however, remained polite but distant. “I appreciate it,” he said, steering the conversation back to you. “Now let’s go enjoy the rest of the event and see what awards we’ve earned.”
As the evening progressed, the awards ceremony began. Your name was called, along with Jay’s, for the excellence in research award. Walking up to the stage to accept it was a surreal moment, filled with pride and satisfaction. The hard work had paid off, and the recognition felt incredibly rewarding.
Afterward, you and Jay stood together, holding your awards and basking in the glow of your achievement. As the awards ceremony concluded, the atmosphere buzzed with excitement and celebration. You and Jay stood side by side, clutching your awards, surrounded by a crowd of congratulatory peers and organizers. The sense of accomplishment was palpable, and you couldn't help but feel a surge of pride in what you had achieved together.
All of you went to another venue for a small party for the young people, but before you could even get a snack, you were called by one of your teachers to present you to the CEO of one of your favorite companies, leaving Jay and Doyoung.
"Okay, what's your deal with her?" Jay asked Doyoung to put one of his hands in his pocket while the other held a drink.
Doyoung chuckled lightly, taking a sip of his drink before responding. "My deal? Just being friendly. She's cool, isn't she?"
Jay's jaw clenched slightly, his patience wearing thin. "Yeah, she's cool. But you're being a bit too friendly, don't you think?"
Doyoung raised an eyebrow, feigning innocence. "Hey, I'm just being supportive. You two make a good team."
Jay's gaze hardened, his voice dropping to a low, controlled tone. "Supportive? Or are you trying to get under my skin?"
Doyoung smirked, his casual demeanor faltering slightly. "What, jealous, Jay? I didn't think you had it in you."
Jay took a step closer, his frustration simmering beneath the surface. "Watch yourself, Doyoung. She's not just some girl you can flirt with."
Doyoung straightened, his own patience wearing thin. "Relax, man. I'm just having fun. Besides, it's not like you've made a move."
Jay's eyes narrowed, his fists clenching involuntarily. "She doesn't need you making moves on her either."
Before the tension could escalate further, a voice interrupted from the side. "Is everything okay here, guys?"
It was a mutual friend who had been observing the tense exchange. Jay took a deep breath, forcing himself to relax. "Yeah, everything's fine," he replied through gritted teeth, shooting a final glare at Doyoung before walking away.
"Don't worry, Jay, I'll bring it to your room after she's done with me!" 
As soon as Doyoung's words hung in the air, Jay's expression darkened. The comment hit a nerve, pushing Jay over the edge of restraint. Without another word, Jay's fist swung swiftly, catching Doyoung off guard and connecting squarely with his jaw.
Doyoung staggered back, surprised by the sudden blow. He recovered quickly, his own anger flaring as he lunged forward, fists clenched. The two young men grappled, exchanging heated punches as they wrestled against each other.
The room around them erupted into chaos as people shouted and tried to intervene, but Jay and Doyoung were locked in their own battle. Jay's determination to protect you fueled his strength, while Doyoung fought back fiercely, fueled by wounded pride and anger.
Amidst the chaos, you returned from meeting the CEO, your eyes widening in shock as you took in the scene unfolding before you. "Stop it!" you screamed, rushing forward to try and separate them.
It took several people to finally pull Jay and Doyoung apart, their chests heaving with adrenaline and fury. Jay's knuckles were bloodied, and Doyoung nursed a bruised jaw, both glaring daggers at each other.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" someone shouted, their voice filled with disbelief.
Jay took a step towards Doyoung, his voice low and dangerous. "Watch your mouth when you talk about her."
Doyoung straightened up, wiping blood from his split lip. "You think you're so righteous, huh? She doesn't belong to you."
"She doesn't, but she deserves respect," Jay shot back, his voice trembling with suppressed rage. "Something you clearly don't understand."
The tension in the room was palpable as the aftermath of their fight settled in. You stood between them, your heart pounding with a mixture of fear and anger. "Enough," you said firmly, your voice shaking. "Both of you, just stop."
Jay's eyes softened as he looked at you, the storm of emotions in his gaze slowly calming. You felt ashamed; your cheeks were flushed with embarrassment and frustration. Jay followed closely behind you, his steps uncertain at first, then quickening to catch up. The cool night air did little to ease the tension that crackled between you both.
"I'm sorry," Jay began quietly, his voice rough with emotion. "I shouldn't have let it get to that point."
You stopped abruptly in the hallway of the room, turning to face him, your expression a mix of hurt and anger. "Jay, what was that back there?! Punching Doyoung like that?!"
"I put him in his place! He was about to take advantage of you!" You growled in anger, opening the door, throwing your stuff somewhere, and leaving your cellphone on the bed, hands on your head.
"He was not! He was being friendly!"
"Oh my god, you're such an idiot!"
"Oh! Okay! Tell me why the fuck I'm an idiot." You got near to him, head high despite the high difference, you being shorter than him just did something to both of you. He took off the jacket of the suit, messing his hair a little bit in frustration.
"Because you see good in people who have zero good intentions, you're naive and a fool!" His words were like darts to your heart. "I was trying to protect you because only God knows when the time will come when you will regret it!"
"You know the opportunities you blew up right now for your future?! I told you to not do something you'll regret later!" Jay saw you after your words, his fierce gaze on you.
"I don't care! I wasn't even thinking straight!"
"Because you never listen!" you shouted, frustration tingling at the edge of your voice.
"And you never shut up!" Jay's retort was sharp, his voice low and dangerous. He took a step forward, closing the distance between you two. You could feel the heat radiating off his body, your breaths mingling in the scant space between them.
"Maybe if you weren't so stubborn—" Your words were abruptly cut off as Jay’s hand shot out, grabbing your wrist and pulling you towards him. The world seemed to tilt, time slowing to a crawl as he leaned in, his lips a hair's breadth from hers.
"Shut up," he whispered, his voice rough and urgent, his hand firmly place at the back of your head.
Before you could react, his mouth was on yours, demanding and desperate. It was a kiss filled with all the pent-up emotions they had been denying for so long—anger, frustration, longing. Your mind raced, trying to process the sudden shift from hostility to this overwhelming connection. His lips were warm, firm against yours, and for a moment, you fought it, your hands pushing against his chest.
But Jay held firm, his kiss unyielding, until gradually, you felt the tension seep from your body. His touch became gentle, almost pleading, as if asking for forgiveness without words. Your resistance melted away as you began to respond, letting the kiss deepen.
It was a tumultuous mix of emotions—anger still simmering beneath the surface, confusion over the intensity of your feelings, and an undeniable pull towards Jay that defied reason. His lips moved against yours with a rawness that mirrored his earlier aggression, yet now it carried a desperate longing.
As the kiss lingered, you found yourself surrendering to the wave of emotions crashing over you. The fight, the shouting, and the chaos of the evening faded into insignificance. There was only the sensation of Jay’s arms around you, his touch both possessive and tender, pulling you closer as if afraid to let go.
When you finally broke apart, gasping for air, Jay’s forehead rested against yours. His eyes, once filled with fiery determination, now held a vulnerability that mirrored your own. Neither of you spoke, words unnecessary in the charged silence that enveloped you.
"I want you to stay silent and listen to me," Jay began, his voice a hoarse whisper that carried the weight of a thousand unsaid words. You stood there, captivated by the intensity in his eyes and the vulnerability laid bare in his confession.
"Our kiss before this one?" His words hung in the air, heavy with emotion. "It shattered the walls I've built around my heart. It made me realize all the love I've been hiding from you, because, damn it, I love you. More than I ever thought possible. More than I fucking love myself."
His admission echoed in the silence that followed, each syllable dripping with raw honesty and a passion that shook you to the core. Jay took one of your hands, locking it and kissing it, his free hand trembling as he reached out to gently trace the curve of your cheek.
"I've fought it, pushed it away, and denied it to myself," he confessed, his voice breaking with emotion. "But every time I see you, every moment we've clashed, it's been because I couldn't bear the thought of you being hurt. Not by me, not by anyone."
You swallowed hard, the weight of his words sinking into your soul. In Jay's eyes, you saw a lifetime of unspoken desires, of battles fought and wounds healed, all in the name of a love that had defied their turbulent history.
"You're not just someone I want," he continued, his voice trembling with the depth of his emotions. "You're the one I need. The one who challenges me and makes me question everything I thought I knew."
Tears welled in your eyes as Jay's words washed over you, a torrent of passion and devotion that threatened to overwhelm. He brushed a gentle thumb across your lips, his touch igniting a fire within you that burned brighter than any conflict they had faced.
"I want to be with you," Jay whispered, his forehead resting against yours and his breath mingling with yours in the hushed stillness of the moment. "Not despite our differences, but because of them. Because in you, I've found a love that's worth fighting for, worth risking everything for."
His declaration hung in the air, a promise woven with threads of longing and hope. You reached up, cupping his face in your hands and feeling the tremors of his vulnerability beneath your fingertips.
"I love you too."
"You are not joking, right?" Jay said, his eyes revealing happiness despite the tears.
"Of course not, dumbass. I've liked you too."
"Good, because I'm not willing to stop kissing right now."
"God, you're such a loser." 
As your lips met again, thanks to you, the intensity between you soared to new heights. The anger and frustration of moments ago were replaced by a consuming desire, each kiss deepening the bond that had been waiting to surface for so long. Jay held you close, his touch conveying both urgency and tenderness, as if he couldn't get enough of you.
The world outside their embrace faded into insignificance as you lost yourself in the heat of the moment. There were no more words needed, only the language of touch and the shared understanding of what this meant between you.
You found hidden strength within you when you accidentally ripped open Jay's shirt, making him smirk into the kiss while he slid down the zipper of your dress, revealing the tantalizing curves beneath. The fabric slipped to the floor in a hushed whisper, joining the symphony of desire that filled the room. Jay's hands traced the contours of your body with reverence, igniting sparks of pleasure that danced along your skin.
"I want all of you," he murmured against your lips, his voice husky with need.
"Then have me."
With each touch and each caress, the bond between you deepened further, transcending words and doubts. All the clothes fell away and inhibitions melted; you surrendered to the rhythm of your desires, entwined in a dance as old as time itself. 
Jay took off his glasses and threw them with your clothes, gettin glower to grab the back of your knees, his covered cock touching your core that made you hiss in the middle of the kiss. He left you below him on the bed, your nails slightly digging his shoulders as his lips traveled his way to your neck. You could almost feel his breath quicken with each moment. His hands explored every inch of your body, his touch igniting a fire within you that threatened to consume all reason. With a soft growl, he pinned your wrists above your head, asserting his dominance in a way that made your pulse race even faster.
"I've wanted this for so long," Jay admitted, his voice a mixture of reverence and raw desire. "To taste you, to feel you completely mine."
You gasped as he teased your sensitive skin with his lips and tongue, his movements deliberate and intoxicating. Every touch and every caress sent a jolt of pleasure through you, amplifying the connection between you to a fever pitch.
His fingers trailed down, teasing the edge of your pants before sliding them off, leaving you bare and exposed to his hungry gaze. He growled low in his throat, the sound vibrating through you as he settled between your legs, his breath hot against your inner thighs.
"Tell me you want this," he demanded, his eyes dark with need.
"I want it," you breathed, your voice barely above a whisper, your big doe eyes looking at his down there. "Please, daddy... I want it so bad."
His tongue flicked over your clitoral area, groaning at the newly discovered kink and sending waves of sensation through your body. You arched against him, your fingers tangling in his hair as you urged him on. He felt a little bit of pain, but it motivated him. Jay's mouth moved with purpose, his skillful ministrations pushing you closer to the edge with each passing second.
"Please, daddy, it's so good." You moaned, unable to hold back the plea as pleasure coiled tight within you.
He gave a throaty chuckle against your skin, the vibrations adding to your pleasure. "That's it," he murmured, his voice a husky whisper. "Get up."
His hair grabbed a handful of yours, and you felt ashamed of how much you liked it.
"You want to be a slut? Then fucking act like one." Another kiss began, but this time was just messy. His teeth pulled your bottom lip, and you kept your mouth open, his saliva passing to your needy tongue and tangling with his in a frenzied dance. The passion between you was electric, with every touch and kiss igniting a wildfire of desire. Jay's hands roamed your body with an urgency that matched your own, his grip firm and unrelenting.
"On your knees," he commanded, his voice rough with need.
You obeyed without hesitation, the anticipation sending shivers down your spine. Jay stood before you, his eyes dark with desire as he took off his underwear. The sound of the movement echoed in the room, heightening the tension between you. He pulled it down, revealing his arousal, and your mouth watered at the sight.
"Open wide," he said, his tone a mix of dominance and lust.
You parted your lips, your eyes locked on his as he guided himself to your mouth. The first touch of his hardness against your tongue sent a jolt of excitement through you. You took him in eagerly, your lips wrapping around him as you began to move, your hand stroking the base in rhythm with your mouth.
Jay groaned, his hands tangling in your hair as he guided your movements, sometimes even choking with his pretty cock, making you gag on it and sending vibrations all over his body. "That's it, baby," he murmured, his voice strained with pleasure. "Take it all."
You moaned around him, the vibration making him twitch in your mouth. His hips began to thrust gently, matching your rhythm, each movement bringing him deeper into your throat. You relaxed, allowing him to push further, your eyes watering as he hit the back of your throat.
"Fuck, you're so good at this," he praised, his voice rough with pleasure. "Such a good girl for Daddy."
The intensity of the moment left you breathless, your heart racing as Jay's moans left his mouth, claiming you in a way that left no room for doubt about his intentions. You started to slow down your movements, now making him whine. You took it out of your mouth, and he gave you a serious look.
"Don't play with me."
"Do you want to cum, baby?"
"Stop..." you licked his dick fully, his head falling back in pleasure. "Please, princesse."
"Please, what?" He took your hands, squeezing them as he looked at your state.
"Please make me cum. I'm about to cum."
"God, you're so pretty." That was the last thing you said after going back to give him his head; his whimpers and cries were becoming louder, and you could feel your entrance getting wetter. "Fuck, don't stop. I'm going to cum all over your pretty face."
You moaned at the thought of it, and you just stopped, gaining another whine as you stood up and removed your bra in front of him, making him forget everything and just admire your beauty.
Fuck your imperfections; he fucking loved you just the way you were.
His hands roamed your whole body, exploring every curve and dip with a reverence that made you shiver. The contrast between his rough touch and the tenderness in his gaze sent shivers down your spine. As he pressed his hard body against yours, you could feel his desire, hot and demanding, against your bare skin.
"You're beautiful," he whispered against your lips, his voice rough with need. "Beyond beautiful"
You breathed, your voice trembling with anticipation. "Please make me yours, Jay."
With a growl, he flipped you over, his hands guiding your hips as he positioned you on all fours. The anticipation built to a fever pitch as you felt his weight settle behind you, his hands caressing your back before gripping your hips firmly. He teased your entrance with the head of his cock, eliciting a gasp from your lips as he slowly pushed inside, stretching you with a delicious mix of pain and pleasure.
"God, you feel so good," he groaned, his voice thick with desire.
You moaned in response, pushing back against him as he began to move, each thrust deep and deliberate. The rhythm of your bodies synced—a primal dance of pleasure and connection that left you both gasping for breath. Jay's hands roamed your body, one sliding down to tease your clitoral area while the other held your hip in a possessive grip, guiding your movements as he drove you closer to the edge.
"Please, daddy," you begged, your voice a breathless whisper. "Don't stop."
"I won't," he promised, his thrusts becoming more urgent and demanding. "Not until you come for me, and because I'm not as mean as you."
You bite your lover's lip in a way to hide your smile; even in this situation, he wanted to be better than you. You're going to let him have that.
"God, you feel so good," he growled, his grip on your hips tightening as he picked up the pace. "So tight, so perfect. I'm going to fuck you dumb."
You could only moan in response, your mind consumed by the pleasure he was giving you. Every thrust, every touch, and every whispered word of praise drove you closer to the edge.
"Harder," you managed to gasp, craving more, needing more. He obliged, his movements becoming more urgent and forceful. The sound of skin against skin filled the room, mingling with your moans and his grunts of pleasure. The pain was exquisite, and that could also be told by the way you were clenching around him.
"You're mine," he declared, his voice rough and clear. "Say it."
"I'm yours," you cried out, your body shaking with the intensity of the pleasure. "I'm yours, Jay."
The words seemed to ignite something in him; he turned you around so you faced him as his thrusts became almost frantic as he chased his own release. You could feel yourself teetering on the edge, every nerve ending alive with sensation. You looked down and saw the bulge of his cock, and you rolled your eyes. It was too much, and Jay knew it.
"Cum for me," he ordered, his voice a mix of command and plea. "Cum for me, now."
You could see white dots in your vision, and you felt all your legs being wet by your squirt, your back arching as the pleasure ripped through you, and your orgasm hitting you with the force of a tidal wave. Your cries of ecstasy filled the room, and Jay's name fell from your lips like a mantra as you rode out the intense waves of pleasure.
Jay's grip on your hips tightened, his own release following closely behind yours. With a few final, powerful thrusts, he groaned your name, his release washing over him as he buried himself deep inside you. He held you close, his body trembling with the force of his climax, and you both collapsed onto the bed in a tangle of limbs and shared breaths, he couldn't hold the groan when he left you, he watched all his cum mixing with the squirt, putting everything back inside you and made you shut your legs together..
For a few moments, the only sound in the room was the heavy, shared breathing as you both tried to recover from the intensity of the experience. Jay's arms remained wrapped around you, holding you close as if he couldn't bear to let you go. His fingers gently traced patterns on your skin; his touch is now tender and soothing.
You both cuddled on the bed, hugging him fully as he took all the hair from your face. You both remain silent, your breathing being the only noise you heard. You look at Jay.
"It took one stupid guy and a damn project to actually have this moment of realization." Jay gave you a small laugh mixed with yours, pulling you close to him.
"Are you okay?" he whispered, concern lacing his voice despite the rawness of his earlier dominance.
You nodded, nuzzling into his chest. "Yeah. More than okay."
Jay smiled, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. "Good. I don't ever want to hurt you."
"You didn't, idiot," you assured him, reaching up to cup his face. "It was perfect."
He sighed with relief, his eyes softening as he gazed down at you. "I love you," he said again, this time with no hesitation or doubt.
"I love you too," you replied, your heart swelling with the truth of those words.
The two of you lay there for a while, just holding each other and basking in the afterglow of your shared passion. The intensity of the moment had melted away, leaving behind a sense of deep contentment and connection.
After a few minutes, Jay gently disentangled himself from you and stood up. "Stay here," he said, brushing a kiss against your lips. "I'll be right back."
You watched him go with his cheeks, realizing he was still naked. When he returned, he carried a warm, damp cloth and a bottle of water. He cleaned you gently, his touch tender and caring, before offering you the water.
"Here, drink," he said, his voice soft.
You took the bottle, sipping gratefully as he continued to clean himself up. Once he was done, he climbed back into bed with you, pulling you into his arms.
"Thank you," you whispered, nuzzling into his chest.
"For what?" he asked, his fingers stroking your hair.
"For everything," you replied, your eyes fluttering closed as the exhaustion of the evening caught up with you.
Jay smiled, his hold on you tightening. "Anytime, baby," he murmured. "Anytime."
With that, you both drifted off to sleep, wrapped in each other's arms, knowing that whatever the future held, you would face it together, stronger than ever before.
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Returning to South Korea brought a sense of normalcy back to your lives, but the connection between you and Jay had deepened irrevocably. The vibrant hustle of Seoul’s streets, the familiar scents from food stalls, and the comforting routine of university life felt different with Jay by your side. Every shared glance, touch, and smile carried the weight of your newfound closeness.
Despite the demands of classes and assignments, Jay never missed an opportunity to show his affection. His little gestures—leaving notes in your textbooks, bringing you coffee before a lecture, or walking you to your dorm—became the highlights of your days. You couldn't help but feel that something bigger was building up.
One evening, as the sun began to set, casting a golden hue over the campus, Jay led you to the rooftop garden. You followed him, curiosity piqued by the mysterious smile on his face.
"Jay, what's going on?" you asked, trying to read his expression.
"You'll see," he replied, squeezing your hand.
As you reached the rooftop, you were greeted by a breathtaking sight. Fairy lights twinkled around the garden, casting a soft glow over the carefully arranged flowers. A small table was set up with candles and a bouquet of your favorite flowers. It was beautiful, almost magical.
"Jay, did you do all this?" you gasped, turning to look at him.
He nodded, a shy smile playing on his lips. "I wanted to make this moment special for us."
Jay guided you to the table, pulling out a chair for you. Once you were seated, he sat down opposite you, his eyes never leaving your face.
"I know we've been through a lot," he began, his voice steady but filled with emotion. "And I know our journey started off as rivals, always trying to outdo each other. But somewhere along the way, I realized that what I felt for you was so much more than competition."
He took a deep breath, reaching across the table to take your hand. "I remember the first time you beat me in a debate. You were so fierce and passionate, and I was so frustrated but also... impressed. I remember the way you always challenged me and pushed me to be better. And I realized that those moments weren't just about rivalry. They were about admiration. And maybe even something more."
You felt your heart swell at his words, your eyes brimming with tears. "Jay..."
He squeezed your hand, his eyes intense as he continued. "There were so many moments I kept to myself. Like the time you stood up for me in that group project, even though we were supposed to be enemies. Or the way you always seemed to understand me, even when I didn't understand myself. I kept those moments close because they meant everything to me."
Jay stood up then, moving to kneel in front of you. He pulled a small, intricately wrapped box from his pocket, opening it to reveal a delicate necklace with a pendant shaped like a heart.
"I want to be your boyfriend," he said, his voice filled with sincerity. "Not just in secret, not just in the moments we steal away from everyone else. I want everyone to know how much you mean to me and how much I love you. Can I be yours? Sorry it took me too long to realize."
Tears streamed down your face as you nodded, unable to find the words to express how you felt. "Yes, Jay. Yes, you can be my boyfriend. And I am sorry too"
He grinned, his eyes shining with happiness, as he stood up and placed the necklace around your neck. Then he pulled you into his arms, holding you close as you both soaked in the significance of the moment.
"I love you, loser," he whispered, his breath warm against your ear in a playful demeanor.
"I love you too, idiot," you replied, your voice also following his tone.
The fairy lights around you seemed to twinkle even brighter, with the flowers swaying gently in the evening breeze. The rooftop garden, with its quiet beauty and romantic ambiance, became the perfect backdrop for the beginning of your new chapter together.
A chapter that you would like to keep writing until your last breath, and this time, your love won't be hidden anymore.
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↷ 𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚕𝚢'𝚜 note: Bless chocolate energy bars that I accidently eat to finish this and HAPPY MF NESSA DAY! 🦋
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doctorsiren · 3 days
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Guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys hear me out okay
the other two times we see Reigen portrayed as a kid (when he tells Sakurai about forgetting a lunch as a child and then when he’s talking about being afraid of urban legends and alleyways as a kid), he looks like himself but small, yes?
And so it’s goofy to me that his graduation photo only kind of looks like him (yeah I get it, his hair is different bc it’s picture day SHHH LET ME COOK) but he looks like Inukawa with Reigen’s eyebrows
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So HEAR ME OUT
Reigen has an older sister that’s never talked about in the show but it was in one of those Q&A things (sorry for the blurry image, it’s the only version I have and I got it from Chatter HAHA)
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But it says:
Please tell us about your family.
Father - Local government employee. A serious person, thinks I’m unemployed.
Mother - Housewife. A serious person, thinks I’m being tricked by someone into doing my current job.
Older sister - Bank employee. Told me I should hurry up and turn myself in to the cops once. Convinced that I’m a conman.
I haven’t shown my face around them in years, but it seems like we have some misunderstandings, so I’m thinking of going home once a year from now on.
SO HEAR ME OUT I made a joke that Inukawa and Reigen were actually related bc of the photo similarity and also bc during my telepathy arc rewatch, I was working on a project for my brother, and so I was looking down a lot and not at the screen. And I kept somehow mixing up Reigen and Inukawa’s voice lines because I didn’t realize how similar they sounded until they were in a place together?
And since Reigen has that older sister, what if Inukawa is actually her kid, meaning he’s Reigen’s nephew but neither of them know that because Reigen’s sister doesn’t talk to him and thinks he’s a criminal. (And the two of them never made the connections between the family names)
This is how I think it could go:
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Anyways I love making up silly headcanons off of minimal information
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azzifudd · 3 days
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we just sort of get each other
paige bueckers x azzi fudd
summary: insp by an article an anon sent me that said paige was with azzi the whole day before her senior prom
rated: teen
1.3k words
disclaimer: many made up events obviously
Paige sits on the couch, leg propped up on a pillow, hands fidgeting with her phone. She opens Tiktok for a moment, but closes it after a few quick swipes, jiggling her healthy leg as she waits for Azzi to emerge from her bedroom.
She had been in there about an hour earlier, watching as the makeup artist worked on Azzi’s face. In her opinion, Azzi didn’t even need all that, but she had been clearly enjoying the full day of pampering. 
But when the makeup artist had complained for the third time that Azzi would not stop laughing at Paige’s antics, Katie had sent Paige out and shut the door behind her. 
Jose and Jon are playing Mario Kart, pushing at each other as their characters race around the track. 
“You wanna play, Paige?” Jose holds out one of the spare controllers to her.
“Nah, man, I’m good.” She stands up, grabbing her crutches and limping into the kitchen to grab a drink. She’s walking back into the living room when Azzi’s door finally opens. 
Paige turns eagerly at the sound of heels on the wooden floor and drops her bottle of Gatorade at the sight that greets her. 
The bottle thunks heavily against the floor. 
Azzi smiles shyly at her, one dimple peeking out. 
“How do I look?” 
Azzi looks…
Paige has no words. Paige has a million words. She can’t seem to pick her jaw up from where it has hit the floor. 
Paige is nearly breathless as she runs her eyes up and down Azzi’s body. 
She’s wearing a floor length dress, a silver shimmery thing with pink and blue tones throughout it that bares the skin of her chest and arms. A slit runs up one leg, exposing what appears to be miles of tan skin and toned muscle. 
Paige clears her throat, hoping she isn’t blushing as hard as it seems as her cheeks heat up. 
“You look..” She hesitates, unsure if anything she says can even measure up to the emotions that swell in her chest as she looks at Azzi. 
She’s saved from speaking as Azzi’s parents round the corner. Tim has his phone in outstretched hand as he approaches.
“Baby, you look amazing!” He snaps a few photos as Azzi poses. 
Paige stands back and watches as Azzi’s parents direct her in an impromptu photoshoot. Soon her little brothers are roped in to take photos with her, and before she knows it, Tim is gesturing for Paige to stand beside Azzi. 
“Aw, no I don’t want my crummy outfit to make her look bad.” She’s in a wrinkled AZ35 t-shirt and a pair of Nike pants, boot heavy around her ankle. At least she brushed her hair earlier instead of just throwing it into a messy ponytail. 
“Paige, please?” Azzi holds out a hand. 
Paige is at her left side before she even realizes it, hand wrapping around her waist as Azzi leans into her. 
Soon, Azzi has to leave to go take photos with her date James at the National Mall. The family all load into the car, but Paige stays behind because it’s a little too much walking for her ankle. 
But before Azzi can head out, Paige grabs her hand, holding her back until they’re alone in the house. Paige leans her crutches against the wall, and grasps Azzi by the hips, pulling her until their foreheads touch. 
“I wish I was the one taking you.” Paige says, her voice a whisper against Azzi’s lips. For a moment, Paige wishes things were different, that she was just a normal girl who got to take the girl she liked to prom. 
But if she was just a normal girl, she never would have met Azzi, and that’s not a world that Paige can bear to imagine.
“You look beautiful.” 
Azzi’s responding kiss feels like a ‘thank you’ and an ‘I’m sorry' all at once. They are interrupted by a loud honk from outside and Jon’s voice yelling for Azzi to hurry up. Paige’s lips are sticky with gloss. 
“Have the best night,” Paige says, and then Azzi’s out the door. 
***
Azzi has a good night. She does. She spends the night dancing and talking with friends and just having a normal high school experience, something that has become more and more rare as her high school career has developed. The pandemic had ruined so much of what she had hoped would be a perfect senior year, so she is grateful that prom at least has gone off without a hitch.
But as the night wears on, she can’t help but think of what was missing. James is handsome and charming; a dream prom date for so many girls. But he isn’t who Azzi wants. She wants the annoying, sweet, beautiful girl who is waiting for her at home. 
Surprisingly, none of her friends question her when she tells them she will be heading straight home after the dance, rather than hitting up the after party that nearly everyone else is going to. 
When she gets home, she finds her family finishing up a movie in the living room. Strangely, Paige is nowhere to be found. 
“Did you have a good night, honey?” 
“Yeah, it was a lot of fun.” She doesn’t elaborate. “Where’s Paige? Did she go back to her dad’s?” 
Her mom looks unsurprised at her question, smiling as she tilts her head toward their basement door. “She’s downstairs, waiting for you. Don’t change out of your dress yet.”
Azzi is a bit confused, but she heads downstairs anyway. She takes her time going down the stairs in her heels, watching her feet, and as she hits the last step, she realizes there is soft music playing. She looks up and finds the room lit only by what seems like dozens of candles interspersed throughout the room.
All the furniture has been pushed to the edges of the room, and standing at the center of the room is Paige. She is wearing a button up that looks just a bit too tight around her shoulders and a pair of black pants. A baby blue tie is loose around her neck, and Azzi knows when she gets close enough that she’ll be able to see how it brings out the color in Paige’s eyes. 
“I know it’s not the same as if we’d gotten to go together, but I got us these. 
When she gets within arms reach, Azzi notices that Paige is holding a plastic box. She pops it open to reveal a beautiful corsage, pink and vibrant with a matching boutonniere. 
Azzi can’t stop herself from reaching out to hold Paige’s face in her hands and kissing her. Paige smiles against her lips.
“You like it?” She asks, laughing when Azzi nods and kisses her again.
With gentle hands, Paige slides the flower onto Azzi’s wrist and she stands still as Azzi returns the favor, pinning hers to her chest with shaky fingers. 
“Can I have this dance?” Paige loops her arms around Azzi’s waist, pulling her even closer.
“Will your ankle be okay?” Azzi asks, bringing her arms up around Paige’s shoulders. 
“Yeah,” Paige shrugs. “I asked during PT this morning, and they said swaying was okay.” 
“Then let’s sway.” Azzi giggles, pressing their foreheads together as they move gently to the music. 
“Did you have fun tonight?” 
“Mmhm.” Azzi nods. “I missed you though. I always miss you.” 
“Just a few more months and we’ll be together all the time.” 
“You won’t get tired of me?” Azzi scratches at the back of Paige’s neck, smiling as Paige’s eyes flutter and she leans into the touch. 
“Never.” Paige makes sure to look Azzi right in the eyes, her own piercing and honest. 
Azzi twists a hand into Paige’s tie, pulls her in, and kisses her and kisses her. 
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cripplecharacters · 2 days
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Hi! I’m working on an original character project that I want to include a lot of casual representation in (“casual” meaning that the characters don’t need a justification for being disabled/fat/POC/etc, they just are because people can and do exist that way in reality!)
I was wondering if you had any suggestions for finding resources for drawing facial differences(and maybe other visible disabilities), especially in a cartoony style. I’ve looked through the Facial Equality Week tag but would like to see more examples, and since my art is so… goofy, for lack of a better word, I would love any help I can get in integrating differences without being offensive or upsetting.
Sorry if this is a bother, and thank you for all that you do!
Hi!
I'm not aware of any guides for drawing facial differences specifically (or at least, good ones. There's 1 billion tutorials telling you that scars are just a Singular Line, always, but that's not... correct), but perhaps someone in the notes could help out?
For my own advice, you could check out this old post I made. Because you mentioned your art being cartoony, I would specifically urge you to not overexaggerate facial differences the way they often are. Prime example would be how a lot of cartoons portray strabismus;
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It's just a funny gag to them rather than, IDK, how some of us look like. Not to mention that one of these is also a mockery of intellectually/developmentally disabled people with "Derp" in the name, but that's beside the point here.
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It's the whole "the character is crazy/stupid/wild/whatever and that's why they have it" that's the problem with how it's often shown. You can also see it in how characters who don't even normally have it will be shown with it for a scene where they're saying something nonsensical, etc.
Another example that's nowhere near as rampant is the like... split-face thing with various facial differences being used. Mostly vitiligo but sometimes also facial palsy. I'm talking about this weirdly perfectly halved face that looks extremely different on each side, often used to signal that a character is two-faced or that the author doesn't know how vitiligo looks like.
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[note: vitiligo also shows up on lighter skin. I wanted to make sure it's visible here for tutorial clarity purposes.]
This one is just weird because it straight up doesn't look like that? I have no idea where it came from, but it should go back there. Facial palsy doesn't make someone look like the antique comedy/tragedy theater mask.
Unless I'm forgetting some other annoying cartoon trope, these would be the big ones that you should stay away from.
Outside of that, it's really on a case by case basis on how a specific FD should be drawn because they're so different! A birthmark can just be a differently colored patch of skin, but a craniofacial difference would require some more changes to be included. Alopecia is well, lack of hair, and can be done very easily but ectrodactyly can be more complicated to show properly because of the limitations of a cartoony artstyle when it comes to hands. And while I do think it would be great to see more of those facial differences that tend to not be included in art at all, there's nothing wrong with deciding to go for the things you can represent more faithfully, especially if you're just starting.
I will say that if you're making an honest attempt at being respectful and trying to get it right, most of us will still be excited to see your work. Even if it's not perfect or has some inaccuracies. I will take a "'yeah more or less' correct with a happy, human character" over a "Very Technically correct but tagged as #tw burns and with blood splattered on them" any day.
Lastly, I wanted to share some art featuring characters with facial differences (and other visible disabilities) that are done in a cartoony, or at least somewhat simplistic artstyles (I'm using both terms very widely here, but like. Not Realism) - maybe it will give you some ideas!
Man with Treacher Collins syndrome (also one of the first pieces online where I saw a character with an FD portrayed in such a lovely way! A fav of mine) Girl with Pfeiffer syndrome Too many characters to count! Woman with burns Woman with a limb difference Multiple characters again Animation featuring people with Down syndrome [youtube] Multiple characters, including a girl with neurofibromatosis, a burn survivor, a girl with a cleft lip and another with TCS! [twitter]
If you have a more specific art question ("how do I draw a person with XYZ facial difference?") you can send me an ask on @saszor! I prefer to stick to the writing theme on this blog but would still like to help if you need it:-)
Hope this helps!
mod Sasza
Edit: apologies for the lack of alt text on one of the images, it has been fixed!
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starkeysprincess · 3 days
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this isn’t necessarily a request bc it would be a pretty long story but can we talk about rafe channeling his need to be in control into being a dom? maybe when he’s a little older he finally “straightens up” and becomes successful in the city but only bc of how he lets off steam behind closed doors. i see him as not being crazy towards the women he doms and being more mature to not let his past affect how he treats them but he’s very distant and contractual and not really affectionate past routine after care either 🤔 except of course when reader meets him and he doesn’t understand why he can’t stop thinking about her, and bc i’m a sucker for the trope especially if she’s a virgin or inexperienced and normally he’d end the arrangement bc of it but for some reason can’t bring himself to 🙂‍↕️ so he instead tells her since this is what she signed up for he won’t hold back on the intensity of their sessions (he does anyways at first) and she agrees with no hesitation bc she’s hoping this is how she can get closer to him while being completely naive to what bdsm is actually like. as you can see i’ve been thinking about this concept a lot lol i’d love to hear just your thoughts on the idea!
hi baby, so sorry i'm now getting to this, i've been a bit scattered brain but this is giving me 50 shades of grey from what you talked abt hehe i hope you enjoy my thoughts on the idea <3
warnings: buzzcut daddy rafe, rafe is in his late 20s, virginity loss, choking, unprotected sex, spitting, small mentions of gagging, being blindfolded + tied & i think thats it but lmk if i missed anything
── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ──
in my opinion, i can see him being in his late 20s around the time he’s moved to the city & successful. he knows just how successful he is due to women practically throwing themselves onto him any chance they can get (that’s so real).
he’s found that he releases all of his pent up frustrations and stress when he doms women to be the best way to relieve himself. of course he doesn’t just kick them to the curb immediately after he fucks them but he also doesn’t do much after the standard and basic after care either which is a big improvement for him versus how he was with women in his past.
for some reason, I can see him seeing several different women but he never sleeps with the same woman more than once. well, at least, not until he meets reader, which he meets her at an upscale bar in the city when he’s out celebrating with his co-workers.
he’s sitting at the bar with his co-workers while she’s making drinks for other customers. she walks over to him and his group, leaning against the bar, asking what they would like & his ears perk up at the sound of her angelic voice, making him whip his head around and he’s in awe.
throughout the entire night, he noticed her not so subtle flirting with him as she worked & he’s consistently stealing glances towards her direction. for that entire night, he barely listened to anything his co-workers said, he was too focused on the pretty little thing that was working behind the bar up until his group decided to call it a night.
Rafe wasn’t sure what it was about her but something about her aura kept pulling him back in & ever since that night, he’s found himself going back to that same upscale bar to see her. it wasn’t until one particular slow night, he finally got the chance to talk to her. the two of them instantly hitting hit off, flirting with one another.
the night ends with her going home with him. they can’t keep their hands off each other as they barge into his apartment, quickly making their way to his bedroom. their hands tearing each others clothing off before he’s pushing her down into his bed.
her moans are muffled by his mouth on hers as his fingers are buried deep inside her sopping heat. he’s relishing the way she can barely take two of his thick fingers, “you’re so fuckin’ tight, practically drippin’ down my fingers”.
“shit, if I didn’t know any better, I’d think you’ve never had a cock in you before” he groans in her ear and he immediately notices how her face turns red, making him freeze in realization and she’s quick to apologize, “fuck, I’m sorry, I was gonna tell you”.
normally he would end the night right then and there, which he’s had to a few times before due to not wanting to have to be gentle with a woman who was a virgin and inexperienced. but with the way you’re looking at him with those big, doe eyes, and for the simple fact that he can’t seem to get enough of you already, he can’t help but let out a heavy sigh, not being able to bring himself to turn you down, not when you're sitting there lookin' all pretty and angelic.
“if you’re lookin’ for a gentle, slow, fuck, you’re not gonna get it here because i won’t be holdin’ back” he mutters, the contrast between his tone and the way he’s caressing her face is far from rough. “i’m gonna ask you this one time cause I’m not gonna be gentle with you. you sure you still wanna do this?” he questions her, studying her face.
she nods, making him grip her chin, forcing her to look up at him, "need to hear you say it, baby". her eyes widen and she pouts, "i want you to fuck me, please, rafe" and he can't help but chuckle at the desperation in her voice.
before she even knew it, she was splayed out on her back with her leg over his shoulder, his hand wrapped around her throat and his cock buried deep inside of her. the harder his strokes, the more his hand tightened around her neck, making her moan and clench around him.
he moves his hand from her throat to grab her face. “open, baby” he commands, squeezing her cheeks, prying her mouth open. she gasps in surprise when she feels his spit coat her tongue before she swallows, causing rafe to groan at her eagerness.
he takes in the sight of her pleasure-ridden face and he can tell she’s close with the way her warm, wet, walls flutter around his cock. he watches the way her eyes roll back into her head, her cries of pleasure as she cums on his cock is like music to his ears.
his own orgasm is approaching and he pulls out of her, wrapping his hand around his shaft, stroking himself before groaning as his pearly, thick, cum paints her stomach.
that was the first time she slept with rafe cameron. she didn’t know what she was getting herself into but she didn’t care, she just wanted him.
ever since that night, the pair made an arrangement and for the past month and a half, she’d meet him at his apartment at least once a week. it started off with choking and spanking at first.
but the more she saw him, the rougher and more intense he would fuck her, whether that was blindfolding, tying her up, or gagging her until she was nothing but a trembling, crying mess.
── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ──
tags: @oceandriveab / @babygorewhore / @drudyslut / @drewstarkeyslut / @rafesthroatbaby / @rafescurtainbangz / @sturnioloshacker / @heartsforvin / @espressomunson / @crvptidgf / @redhead1180 / @eddieslut69 / @xxbimbobunnyxx / @hallecarey1 / @eternalbuckley / @kisses4angel / @hyperfixationgirl / @emilysuperswag / @maiiuelle / @saintlike05 / @rylie-m / @rafeinterlude / @lilacheavenn / @monkichixo / @native2princess / @ihe4rttwd / @zyafics / @peterpan-neverfails
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tetsuskei · 2 days
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⟣ kiss it better - tartaglia [nsfw]
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synopsis: your boyfriend sees you wear makeup for the first time and reacts accordingly
warnings: oral (male receiving), face fucking, facial, ajax is a pervert :/, he cums a lot, childe is called by his birth name, self indulgent, russian pet names, reader is implied to be from sumeru, fem reader, one small chomp from childe
word count: 2k
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its evening in your comfortable abode, and often a sight is you sitting in front of your vanity taking care of yourself. whether it be brushing your hair or doing your skin care routine for the night, the methodical way you go about your business brings comfort to your boyfriend, ajax. the domestic nature of it all brings a sense of normalcy to his unpredictable and dangerous life. you’re the purest piece, and he wishes to keep it that way.
but this time, he notices a plethora of different cosmetic items. all unfamiliar with him. he doesn’t remember seeing you buy them the last time he went out shopping with you.
the harbinger pauses, watching you in front of the mirror. “what’re you doing?”
“my makeup.” you answer as if it’s an everyday occurrence. you never really wore it before, normally barefaced or at the most, a little mascara and lip gloss, but that’s it. so to see this is…interesting.
the ginger is now looming over you into your space. one would think he’s too close, but you’ve grown accustom to him always invading it. making it his space, too.
“you don’t usually wear that stuff, though.” he notes, watching you paint glittering eye shadow on. “why are you wearing it now? is there…a special occasion?”
you flinch at his words, and he flinches in reaction to your reaction.
“i’m going out tonight with candace and dehya. they’re the ones who recommended me these things, and so i just wanted to try something different.” you explain.
ajax attempts to diffuse the situation. “i see…you know you don’t need all of that, right? you look fine as you already are. in fact, i think you look better without it!”
you glower. “last time i checked, i’m not wearing it for you.”
he panics, “of course not! you’re allowed to wear and do what you want. you look very beautiful—as you always do!”
a small hum in response makes him relax and he lets out a small sigh. he would live another day.
you, on the other hand, sense your boyfriend still hovering, and your mild irritation continues to grow inside of you.
“…do you still need something?” you ask, focusing now on your eyeliner.
he shakes his head rapidly. “no. i’m just…curious! i’ve never seen you do this before, you know.”
but you know ajax. it’s one thing to be curious, but another for someone to be leering. and with the way your boyfriend’s dull eyes bore into your very being, for once—it puts yourself on edge.
you sigh, not bothering to look at him. “just spit it out, ajax.”
“c-can i cum on your face?” he blurts.
it’s silent and the unreadable expression on your face makes him nervous. you’re quiet—much quieter than usual, and the last thing he wants to do is offend you (more than he already has).
admittedly, he can’t help himself, though. the mental image of him standing over your pretty face would not leave his mind, unfortunately. he can’t get over the idea of you kneeling, doe eyes looking up at him with anticipation as he jerks himself to the very sight of you. is he wrong for thinking of that?
“i-i mean, when you’re done wearing it? not right now of course!” he laughs nervously, and you don’t know whether to feel sorry or amused as he explains himself.
“you’re disgusting.” you finally respond, but there’s not a single hint of malice behind your words as you speak. the corner of your painted lips is tilted up in a quirk, and he wonders how you were ever so shy before when meeting him. but it is all attributed to how truly hot you look right now. you know how good you look and what it does to him. “that’s what you’re curious about?”
ajax’s cheeks flush and he looks really bashful, scratching his head and looking at the tiles on the ground. “sorry.”
you both know he’s not sorry.
“you’re the one who said i didn’t need this, yet you want to cum on my face?” you hum, straightening up once you’re finally finished. walking towards him, you note how frozen in place he is.
putting a manicured hand on his shoulder, you look up at him. “what are you thinking about now?”
he laughs, ignoring the feeling of his cock stirring from smelling your perfume and shampoo. his hands twitch. “ahh, not much.”
you kneel in front of him, hands messing with the belt and zipper to his pants. there’s a bigger smile on your face as you eye his bulge. “‘not much’?”
fuck. he really wants to make a mess out of you. to wipe that smug look off of your face.
“n-no, not—shit, baby—really.” you’re already unbuckling and unzipping him, pulling both pants and briefs down in one go as you grasp him.
there’s absolutely no point in him lying anymore with how hard he is. practically begging for release, his purpling tip dribbles copious amounts of pre. bobbing and twitching eagerly and craving release. like a jewel shimmering diamond, his thick cock has never looked prettier.
the smallest whine leaves ajax when the cold air hits him, bringing greater sensitivity to his skin.
on the other hand, he isn’t really lying. the sight of you has his mind running blank. you look gorgeous and he wants to stare at you for hours. is that really so weird?
“really?” you’re stroking him now, single hand moving leisurely as you stare up at him through your thick lashes.
“well now you’re teasing me.” he says, averting his gaze from your sinful stare.
“i’m only trying to give you what you want, ajax.” you laugh, painted lips kissing his tip. you hear his breath catch as you continue to plant kisses but on his freckles and scarred skin. every inch of his thighs are caressed and touched with care, and his cock weeps with jealousy.
“c-can’t you just? ugh—“ he’s whining, face completely flush, “put it in!”
you pinch his thigh in warning. “ask nicely.”
your boyfriend groans. “mila, you’re…you’re killing me here. please.” he whines, trying to move, but you hold his hips still.
“i’ll give you what you want if you’re honest with me.” you bargain, kissing the pretty freckles that decorate his pale thighs once again.
he’s hiding his face in his hands now, and you never thought he’s looked cuter. “i just…can’t stop thinking about what you’d look like…covered in my cum.”
at his words, your kisses move up towards his balls. they’re heavy and taut, sensitive to the warm, plush feeling your lips share against his skin.
“is that it?” your tongue sweeps out, bathing itself in his musk. he shudders.
“and…how jealous i am, because other people are going to see how beautiful you are…when i just want to keep you for myself.”
ahh. there it is.
“to yourself? well you know i’m my own person, right?” you inquire, raising a brow.
“of course you are. but you’re mine, too.” he breathes, eyes darkening. “and there’s only so much i want anyone else to see of you.”
“so that’s why you said i looked better without makeup on? you’re cruel, you know.” you sigh, leaning back.
the lowly laugh that comes from your boyfriend makes your hair stand up on its ends. “you haven’t seen cruel yet, lisichka.”
you chew on your lip, challenging him, “hmm. i’m sure it’s not that bad.”
ajax’s resolve snaps, his large hand coming behind your head before gripping your hair.
“i’m sorry, you—“ he moans loudly, sliding himself fully to the back of your throat, “you look so fucking pretty i can’t help it. wanted to be between these pretty lips of yours so badly.”
his pained expression relaxes once he claims the inside of your mouth. small moans and whimpers leaving him once he starts rutting himself within the wet cavern.
you should be mad at how abruptly he’s slid his dick in your mouth, mad at the way he’s taken control, but the sight of him stops you. the pure look of ecstasy on his face is one to behold. so you grip his legs and let him have his way with you. let him use you as he pleases. you were never really in control anyways. he was just letting you have your fun.
“you feel so good. ‘is s’good…” he praises, snapping his hips at a harsher angle and speed. you gag around him and he only groans in response, legs trembling.
“always take me all so well, hmm?” his dull eyes look down at you with adoration, thumbing your cheek where his tip is nestled.
you nod to the best of your ability, humming quietly. there are tears brimming your eyes, and a few spill over, painting your cheeks with an inky residue.
something stirs within your boyfriend.
he pulls back, eyeing your face and now ruined makeup.
“ahh, i think you look even prettier now. you’ll forgive me for ruining your hard work, won’t you?”
you cough, catching your breath. “so shameful.”
ajax slaps his cock on your face, dragging the lipstick stained appendage over your face.
“aww, mila, don’t tell me you’re not enjoying this.” his familiar sinister smirk is plastered on his face as he nudges your slobber covered lips.
solemnly, you part your mouth before taking him as far back in your throat as you can. another pretty moan leaves him before he swears in his mother tongue.
“you minx. if i didn’t know any better, i’d think you’re trying to kill me.” he falters, grasp tightening on your hair.
you moan around him, eyes rolling back as your nose digs into the tuff of hair on his lower abdomen. every part of him smells like home, like love and affection. like your soul, since you will always be apart of each other.
finally, ajax pulls back from you, and you don’t hesitate to take the next move. you waste no time taking him back into your mouth, this time using your hand to jerk the parts of him that don’t make it all the way in.
the noises are lewd and excruciatingly loud. drool and precum are basically painted and glistening on your chest, dripping down in between your breasts.
“good girl. good fucking girl…you always suck my cock so well. maybe i should…keep you locked up forever.” he praises.
“you can try.” you grin, leaning down to capture his balls in your mouth again, sucking and nursing them while your hand works his shaft.
he’s laughing now, tone bashful as he tries catching his breath, “i-i’m not going to last—“
you hum, pulling off and kissing his tip and swirling your tongue along the underside and frenulum. “go ahead, baby.”
your boyfriend gasps and then whines at the unexpected use of the pet name. it causes him to abruptly shoot his load sooner than he would have thought.
nothing could possibly have prepared you for how much ajax cums as it hits your face. your eyes squeeze shut, and every time you expect for him to be done, more spurts hit you.
his moans are unapologetically loud and fizz out into small groans as he fists himself.
eventually you crack your eyes open, glancing up at him as you suckle on his sensitive tip, lapping up any remnants of his cum.
the harbinger shudders, heaving as he looks at you. he’s never felt more glad to be right, the mess on your face spread all the way down to your chest.
it turns him on a little too much knowing he’s the only one who’d ever see you like this.
gently, he pushes you away, standing back from you.
“just know you can put whatever you want on your cute face, but you’ll never be any prettier than you are with my cum on it.” ajax breathes.
you hum appreciatively, blinking slow as you swipe up his cum and taste it. “you taste so good, ‘jax.”
a dark look swarms your boyfriend’s cerulean eyes. “it’s a shame, mila. i’m afraid you’re going to have to cancel your plans,” he grabs you like a ragdoll, tossing you back on your shared bed.
“wha—! what’re you—“
he grins before he licks your cum covered cheek, biting the flesh. “i’m not done having fun with you.”
end note: bro just licked up cum and foundation. i guess when you survive the abyss, you’ll eat anything /hj
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luvlyhee · 1 day
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단숨에 알아볼 거야, that feeling when
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pairing. enhypen ot7 x fem. reader (hcs)
genre. fluff, est. relationship wc. 598 warnings. falling down, bruises, skinship
— enhypen when you trip/fall down. extra. none
LEE HEESEUNG would laugh at first but after seeing you actually in pain he stopped and immediately knelt down next to you.
“hey baby, you okay? can you walk?“ he’d ask while his fingers gently caressed the bruise to try and ease the pain. his demeanour was different from a few seconds ago.
he’d press his lips against the bruise to ‘kiss it better’ he says. honestly he was just trying to find excuses to have his lips on your skin.
PARK JONGSEONG would not let you fall. his hand would be holding you so tightly; so close. why would he ever let his precious baby get hurt?
if he ever saw you trying to keep your balance, he’d stop in his tracks to make sure you wouldn’t fall while doing so.
the thought of you getting hurt made his heart hurt, he never wanted to be the reason you got a bruise or anything of the sort.
“don’t worry baby, i got you. i won’t ever let you fall.”
SIM JAEYUN would fall along with you. purposely.
the moment he saw you fall down he’d pretend to fall as well and sit down beside you, grinning from ear to ear to try and distract you from the pain or the embarrassment.
if you were going to fall he was going to do the same. he would never let his favourite girl go through the embarrassment alone. he vowed to be by your side; even when you fell.
“i guess we fell for each other right?” he’d chuckle and kiss your forehead before helping you up.
PARK SUNGHOON would stare at you for a moment before registering that his girlfriend literally just fell onto the ground.
he’d go over to you and lift you up, carrying to a nearby bench before setting you down and inspecting your body for any bruises. he’d use one hand to stroke your cheek to calm you down and the other to stroke the bruise.
“you okay baby? i’m so sorry, i should’ve been more careful, my pretty girl almost got hurt.”
KIM SUNOO would be rolling his eyes and placing both his hands on his hips. how could his girlfriend be so clumsy? but he found it cute.
“you’re so clumsy baby,” he’d sigh before pulling you up from the ground and rolling his eyes once again, “that’s literally why i told you to hold my hand, but obviously you didn’t listen.”
you’d giggle and place a peck on his cheek, causing his face to turn red, “s-since you’re so cute.. i.. i guess i’ll let it slide.”
YANG JUNGWON would be the one tripping on his own and falling down.
you told him to tie his shoelaces before going out of the house but he didn’t and he ended up tripping on his own shoelaces.
you couldn’t help but laugh and thought of how undeniably adorable he was. “jungwon, i already told you to tie your shoelaces right?”
“i was just showing you how i fell for you the first day i met you!”
NISHIMURA RIKI’s face would contort into one of amusement. he’d be laughing his ass off the moment he saw you fall; wiping the tears with his sleeves.
“god when did i start dating a clown?” he’d chuckle and hug his stomach.
without another second, you grabbed him by the ankles and pulled him down with you. “who’s the clown now?” you’d say and pinch his cheek playfully.
he’d shove you playfully with his shoulder and laugh as you two sat on the ground. “we’re both fools for each other hm?”
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luvlyhee 2024 :: taglist open ,, send as ask to be added!
tl: @en-gelic @dioll @ohmydollie @luvvsim @chaewonshoney @jakesangel
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uranometrias · 3 days
Text
wait for your love, spencer reid (pt. 2)
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this is the second part to this. tysm for all the love on the first part, as well as all the new follows. this literally took so long, and i'm literally so sorry. i suck, but i hope you all enjoy it nonetheless. xx
you can read the alternate version for jj right here.
pairing: aaron hotchner x bau! reader | spencer reid x bau! reader | s7 team x bau! reader (platonic)
summary: following the dismissal of the case against the bureau, you're trying to get back into the swing of things. that moment of realization that comes with discovering the love you feel for someone else isn't reciprocates is never fun. but it's a truth you're meant to accept nonetheless, with a bit of help from your dearest friend spencer, you find that through a conversation about the realities of music and their hidden messages getting the courage to move on is not quite as difficult as you might have initially thought. especially when there's someone like spencer reid waiting on the other side. except of course, things always get difficult when it seems now as you're moving on, the past object of your desires is believed to feel the same way you always have.
content warnings: this is the sequel to angst lol. it's still very kind of angsty, but not as bad! it doesn't exactly end with spence/reader running off into the distance together, but i think it has a very bittersweet & sort of hopeful ending, which i felt made the most sense for a storyline like this. sometimes people have feelings for people that don't like them back, and sometimes it's just something we have to deal with.. sad but true. && i didn't want spence to seem like a rebound for reader, so i tried to go the route of her slowly putting the pieces together that maybe spence had romantic feelings for her && going from there. still spencer somewhat confesses his feelings for reader, hints that hotch might actually like reader, jj/reader reconciliation, because it needed to happen soz! she might have feelings for y/n too idk... she's kinda pulling everybody. this feels kinda melodramatic, but also idk i want epic romance vibes so i tried my best xx
i also love how hotch was such a focal part of this story and never physically showed up once... hmm.
tagged the people that asked for part 2 xx
@stvrlitsky , @cocopuff213 , @aaronhotchnerlover , @ofagathachristies , @blurpleuni-squid , @wolf-phoenix-lover , @babyspiderling , @queermaxwooo , @jihyowrrld , @minkyungseokie , @silentjudger , @btskzfav , @barbeddreams , @ah-blossom , @darker-december
It had been about a week since the court proceedings, you'd been more than a little surprised to find that you all managed to walk away scot free. You still hadn't managed to work up the courage to place your resignation papers on Hotch's desk, probably because you still hadn't gotten up the strength to face him or anyone else for that matter. You weren't outwardly abrasive, you'd offer small nods of greeting when you showed up in the morning, waves as you left.
But everyone knew that it wasn't the same.
Penelope had been trying to get you out for a night of bonding with her, Emily, and JJ, and you'd been keen on turning her down. You don't think you were quite there yet, the wound however surface level was still fresh. Looking at Emily, only reminded you of your grief, how much you had missed her. Looking at JJ only reminded you of how she hadn't had the courage necessary to tell you the truth. You'd tried to take their positions into account, look at things through a different view, but it hardly worked. You just wanted to be left alone.
Spencer was still the only one privy to the thoughts you had about ending your career at the FBI, and everyday he seemed to be holding his breath. It had become a habit to catch him staring at you with his face pinched up like he was deep in thought. It was partially why, even as your eyes skimmed over a file, you knew that he was looking in your direction. "Spence." you mutter quietly, eyes not quite meeting his as you highlighted something of importance in blue.
He sits at attention, back straight, eyes wide. He looked like a puppy that'd been caught doing something bad and was waiting for punishment. "You're doing it again." you exhale, and then you finally manage to peel your eyes from your work, eyebrow raising as you take him in tiredly. "Do you need something?" and he bares down on his bottom lip, almost as if he was thinking over his next move. He stands tall, grabbing hold of his chair and tugging it until it was planted on the other side of yours, before he sat down politely.
"Are you okay?" he's talking quietly, likely to salvage a bit of your privacy. You'd become a bit of a walking attraction in the bullpen, everyone seemed to follow every one of your actions with their eyes. You tap your highlighter against your desk, head tipping to the side as you scrutinize the man. You didn't know exactly what was going on with Spencer, but you had a small inkling, it was nothing more than an internal feeling if you were completely honest about it.
Your sister had been asking about him quite constantly lately, and after learning that day in the courtroom that for some odd reason the duo spoke over the phone, it made you pay a bit more attention to the certified genius than before. "I'm fine, Spencer. Just like I was when you asked me yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that." you keep your tone light, not wanting him to think that you were by any means annoyed with him. "What's going on?"
"I guess I keep waiting for you to disappear." he admits, head nodding involuntarily. "You're here right now, and you look fine." he continues, and you like listening to him, even if he was breaking one of the rules, and choosing to profile you. "So shouldn't things feel different? Better at least, like before?" he asks, and you don't expect that. Maybe he wasn't profiling you at all, and instead was expressing himself to a friend. "At least a little bit?" he asks, and you think it over.
"I don't think it'll ever be like before, Spence." and you hate to be the Betty Buzzkill, but it's as true as you can be. "How can it?" and Spencer's eyes jump across the room, landing on Emily who was not so subtly watching the two of you speak. You follow his gaze, and blink harshly when Emily's eyes connect with your own. It forces you to look right back at Spencer. He looks pensive, and you wonder how long he's been working up the courage to say more than 'Are you alright?'
"She was dead... and now suddenly she's not. That's great, but I grieved my friend, and maybe I'm not done grieving the Emily I knew before." and it's the first time you're admitting this aloud. "Our Emily, not the- Interpol Superspy." and you huff. "And look, I know I should be grateful, how many people get back the people they love after death?" and Spencer doesn't answer. "But is she really back? Is she really still our Emily? And how long before she's ready to pack up her stuff and take off? I'm not opening myself up to that again."
Spencer thinks your point is valid, he at one point had insisted that he had the worse abandonment issues on the team, but you had been right there through most of it. You were, in your own way protecting yourself from being hurt again. He couldn't fault you for that, none of them should. "I understand." and truthfully he does, and he's glad that at least you trust him enough to be upfront about it. "There's nothing wrong with shielding yourself from heartache, I just don't want you to close off completely... not from all of us."
You falter, and Spencer hates that he can't just say that he doesn't want you to close off from him. He didn't want this situation to change the way you behaved with him, he couldn't handle losing you.
"I won't." you promise. "And I won't do anything to jeopardize what we do here, I've got enough self control to be civil." you add with a small smile. "I haven't quite decided what a future at the bureau will look like, but I am willing to give things here a chance to get better." and you do love your work, Profiling was something you enjoyed doing, you wouldn't toss it away, unless you absolutely had no other choice. "So you don't have to worry about losing me, Spence." and you hold your breath, mostly because it's a bit audacious on your part.
He offers you a half smile, and you notice the way he visibly relaxes. Still, he doesn't want you to feel obligated to stay somewhere just for his sake, so he feels the need to be honest with you. "I'm not worried." he promises you, and it's a tiny fib, one that could become true if he grew just a touch more confidence. "Even if you did decide to leave one day I would put in the work to keep you in my life." and his smile stretches across his face now, and reaches his eyes. "You're not someone anyone would want to lose." your stomach twists.
"You're not either, Spencer." and you say it firmly, mainly to show just how much you need him to believe it. "I'd just make it my job to take up all your free time outside of work." and his face feels incessantly warm, like he'd stuck his head directly in the stream of scalding shower water. The funny thing about you was that you were oftentimes one of the hardest on the team to read. He figured that because he spent so much time hyper focused on you that he'd get better at it. He still hadn't, and you still managed to leave him stuck.
Comments like the one you just made were common for you, but the meaning behind it always escaped him. Were you flirting with him or were you just being nice? Was it possible that you knew that he had feelings for you? Were you using him as a rebound after the mess you'd found yourself entangled into with Hotch just months ago? The thought of him merely being an emotional rebound made him sad, disappointed, and insecure. But then he's taking in your expression, how despite your confidence you still look shy, and reels it in.
You had never been that sort of person, maybe you were just as oblivious as he was. "I'd be okay with that now." and you look a bit surprised, but also pleased. You nod your head slightly, leaning forward just a little in your seat. Spencer isn't sure if he's moved too quickly, but he's got no room to second guess it now.
"We should do something." it's not at all what he'd expected you to say, and he's surprised, it's more than evident on his face.
"Who? Us? Just the two of us?" he asks, and you find yourself offering him an amused sort of glance.
"Yeah, it could be fun." you insist, and you're not trying to play with his feelings, at least not in the traditional sense. Spencer Reid was no rebound. "It's not often we have days off, you know?" and you lean against your palm, head tipping slightly to the side. "Only if you want." you add, hoping that this addition would make him feel a touch more comfortable. It seems to work, because he untenses just a bit.
"Y-Yeah." he nods his head slightly, hair moving with the action just slightly. "Yeah, we should definitely do something." he agrees, and your smile is bright, clearly pleased at the turn of events. "When would you?" his eyes jump to his watch, and he shakes his head. "Obviously, not right now." he says and you're staring at him a bit bemused, because Spencer Reid was nothing if not a bit unserious.
"There's this music store I've been dying to check out." you say, and you witness Spencer's eyes seem to brighten. "It's sort of right on the strip, if you don't mind going with me to look at some vinyls and cd's for my collection, we could just go-" and you're eyebrows are raised, "And see what happens? There's a lot you could do..." you finish, and Spencer's already nodding his head in agreement.
"T-That's..." and he clears his throat, you think to keep you from acknowledging the fact his voice cracked in his nervousness. "Yeah, I don't mind that at all." he agrees politely. "Did you know that in the late 19th and early 20th centuries, record stores only sold gramophone records, but over time they've sold other formats like eight-track tapes, compact cassettes, and compact discs." his hands curl into one another as he relays this message and you snort.
"Did you know that there's a national record store day? It started back in 2008." and he's a bit surprised that you're shooting him a fact of your own, and one that he wasn't actually aware of.
"Really?" he questions, and your eyes sort of crinkle, smile broadening enough to show off both rows of your teeth.
"Don't tell me that I know something the brilliant Doctor Reid doesn't." you tease, and his eyes roll, though his entire demeanor remains lighthearted. "So, what's your poison?" you sidestep, but just barely, your work ignored as you focus all your efforts on keeping this conversation with Reid going.
"My poison?" and his mind of course drifts to alcohol, a bit of a confusing pivot in the conversation. "I don't really see myself as much of a drinker." he admits truthfully, and he's confused when you're laughing, hand flying up to cover your mouth as his face contorts.
"I meant your favorite music genre." you correct. "And I know you're partial to classical," and you try not to stretch your eyes. "It's great when I need to concentrate, but I wouldn't exactly say I'm dying to put on Bach and Tchaikovsky in a regular setting." you explain, both hands resting against your cheeks as you await the hopefully longwinded answer he'd have to give you.
"What if that's my only answer?" he asks, and you scoff.
"It's not." you deadpan, and he exhales through his nose. "I know you and Morgan have that understanding about music..." you explain, head cocked to the side. "He got you to listen to Nas." you remind him as he purses his lips at the reminder. "And Garcia's always sending music recommendations." you proceed as Spencer shoots you a look that clearly reads 'What's your point?'.
"Are you really telling me that out of every genre of music that's ever been released to the entire world, the only genre that's ever stood out to you is the one where old men sit behind a piano and twinkle the keys to their hearts content?" Spencer's releasing another one of those quiet laughs, this one is clearly full of exasperation though.
"I think they're doing a little bit more than twinkling keys." he corrects you, and you know that. You'd only said it to get under his skin just a little, he was fun to mess with. "Classical music is one of the only genres that seemingly does so little and is able to express the full spectrum of human emotion and life experience." he explains, and you fight your smile, leaning in just a bit more to show you were focused. You weren't sure what was happening or if anything was really happening at all, and it was all in your mind.
But you were finding that you didn't mind just listening to Spencer go on and on about whatever he wanted. You thought a lot about what had happened outside of that court room, how he'd listened to you. Really listened to you, and had never once made you feel like the emotional failure you'd imagined yourself to be. You couldn't say that in the span of a week all of your feelings for Hotch had vanished. That'd be bullshit, because deep down you knew it wasn't that easy.
And sometimes you wished it could be, sometimes you wondered why you had to fall for Hotch when Spencer was right there.
Still, whether or not you were being forced to come to grips with the fact that Hotch was not, and wouldn't ever love you the way you loved him, you couldn't deny that it was nice to have a friend there. Spencer wasn't coming to you with heavy confessions and tear-streaked cheeks begging you to look and see that he was perfect for you, which is why you think you like him even more. You knew a lot of times it was hard, rare even to find someone who would just care for you without expecting anything in return. That was Spence to a T.
"Go on." you instruct, and you find that despite the way you'd baited him into this conversation, it was well worth it. He didn't get a lot of time to just be Spencer, and with no clock over your heads, no rush for time to solve a case, you figured it was the least you could do. Especially after he'd spent the last week trying to show you how much he cared.
"I just mean that in classical music, it's actually very common to have one piece of music encompass an entire host of emotions, experiences, and subject matter." he expresses, and you hum, nodding along. "And it's all because most classical pieces use a similar formula that uses textures, dynamic colors and key modulations to express things certain words can't properly articulate." he proceeds. "That's why certain sounds and notes manage to adduce certain reactions." he seems finished.
"Oh, yeah?" you press and he nods limply, seemingly awaiting the moment you offer some jab regarding his oversharing. "I guess Mozart and Beethoven were really onto something." you mutter, and he snorts. "Still, I'd much rather listen to something a bit more obvious." you admit, not that you had a real problem with Classical Music.
"What do you mean?"
"Well I'm just saying... music's always sort of been the perfect tool for expressing everything you might need to say." you counter. "And while I agree that music in any form does a great job of invoking certain emotions, sometimes you don't want to guess what someone means." you admit, and it's partially (mostly) because you had never been good at reading in between the lines. Things always made the most sense when they were plainly spelled out.
"Or maybe that's just a me thing." you correct. "I've found that I always enjoy things when they're a little more laid out... there's no way to misunderstand when it's spelled out for you, right?" you ask and Spencer's lips curve down into a slight frown. He's not pitying you, mostly just sympathizing with how torn up you must have been about everything. Especially as your eyes instinctively are drawn to the shut doorway of Hotch's office. Spencer thinks that's when reality sets back in and hits him like a brick.
Because he knew something that you didn't. Something that would probably make everything better for you, but would undoubtedly double his heartache. In truth, he, much like everyone else on the team tried their hardest to ignore just how obvious you'd been about your feelings for hotch. spencer more than anyone.
He remembered how things had changed a few months back, how you'd started to move on all for the rug to be pulled from up under your feet. It had been outwardly cruel, undoubtedly. because while everyone else on the team seemed to be just fine with 'don't ask, don't tell', Spencer had been unable to not pay attention to the way Hotch had actually changed too. Did he hate him? Absolutely not... and he knew you didn't either, because despite how idiotic the plan was, he hadn't done much besides give you more attention.
And Spencer guessed the act of giving you more attention had unsurprisingly ended with Aaron Hotchner realizing it was something he actually enjoyed. Hence the sudden change their boss underwent.
He supposed that was the worst part about it all, the fact that everyone had the right to tell you that "nothing had happened", and there was nothing you could do about it. Because in the grand scheme of things nothing really had happened. Hotch was no heartless womanizer, Spencer couldn't even imagine the man flirting with anyone, let alone stringing someone along for kicks. Still, that didn't change the fact that you'd gotten your hopes up, and now you were back to your own harsh reality.
Not because it wasn't a real possibility, more so because Hotch was self destructive, and sabotaged himself and his happiness at every turn. Spencer wants to stay quiet, to bask in the fact that you were slowly on your own terms getting over Hotch, and paying more attention to him, but he can't do that. He'd hate it if someone did it to him. So instead he decides to throw you a bone, push you in the right direction. "Why haven't you just talked to him?" it's not what he had meant to say. He had meant to play the role of the supportive friend.
He'd wanted to pat you on the back, mumble some agreeance that would validate how you were feeling, and possibly give him cool points. Instead, here he was about to push you in the direction of someone else. He supposed that's how stupid love made you.
"What?" you exclaim, and Spencer doesn't know what's so exasperating about his question. It was obvious that you needed to, it wasn't fair that you were slowly deteriorating on the inside whilst trying to maintain some semblance of being a "team player". He said 'screw the team' if it wasn't genuine. And clearly, from the way you'd still been icing out JJ and Emily, it wasn't. Not fully anyway. He'd never rush you to get over it, mostly because it'd make him a hypocrite. He still cringes at the thought of the tears he'd shed to JJ.
But, that was his own problem.
"Hotch." he lowers his voice a little, because it's just now hitting him that the two of you have been slacking off for a while now. Emily wasn't exactly focused in on the both of you anymore, but every so often, he'd find that she still look up every few moments. JJ, Derek, and Rossi had made a habit of leaving their respective offices, eyes glued to what was apparently becoming unit news. "You should talk to him." he says simply as your eyes cross dramatically.
"What's there to talk about?" you ask suddenly distracted by a smudge on the corner of your desk.
"What happened." he says simply. "I mean, don't you think there might be some explanation you might be missing?" Spencer tries, and you curl into yourself just a little bit.
"It's still work hours and he's still Hotch." you deny, and Spencer's lips push to the side, an obvious sign of his slight discomfort about what he was going to say next. "He's not going to want to talk about it." you admit. "And what exactly do you say in a conversation like that? Oh by the way boss, I was in love with you, and it kinda felt like maybe you felt the same, except oh wait, it was just a ploy to keep me from realizing you were lying about Emily being alive?" you say sarcastically. Spencer huffs in retaliation.
"Yes actually, you could say exactly that. Maybe you'll learn something you didn't know before." he deadpans, and your nose curls. You cut your eyes over at the man, who's not amused.
"I kinda thought you'd be the last person pushing for this sort of confrontation, you know?' you admit before you can really help yourself. You watch as Spencer's face seems to set into one of surprise, his cheeks and neck slowly gaining a red sort of tint to them.
"What do you mean?" he questions, and your mouth parts just slightly. And you think the same way he's been gentle with you is the exact same way you need to be gentle with him, so you pivot, head shaking from side to side.
"Nothing." you say firmly. "Forget about it." you say quietly, and then you're looking back at your paperwork. Spencer, embarrassed finds himself fiddling with his fingers, trying to scold his heartbeat back into submission. It suddenly felt way too cramped sitting at your desk.
"You should go after work." he says, and your eyes snap back to him. "Talk to Hotch after work, I mean." he says and your stomach feels a bit tight. "I think it'll be best." he proceeds, and you frown.
"You do?" you question, and you try not to sound despondent.
"Y-Yeah, I do." he agrees despite his stutter. "Things like this don't go away on their own, you know?" and you chew on the inside of your lip, and feel that gloom cloud from earlier making its way back.
"I thought we were supposed to be hanging out today, Spencer." you start and he blinks owlishly, long lashes nearly caressing the tops of his cheekbones.
"We could always raincheck." he says, and you stare at him just a bit blankly. "It's not like it was a date or anything. They were just plans..." he adds, and your teeth chomp down on your bottom lip. He doesn't really know how to read the look on your face, but he knows that he feels like he's being noble.
"Just plans." you shrug your shoulders dismissively. "Right." and then you pick up your pen. "Well if that's what you want, I guess it's fine by me." you add, body curling into itself as you position yourself away from him.
"Isn't that what you want?" he questions, and you cut your eyes.
"Do you think I'd be sitting here if it was?" you keep your voice level, but your leg is bouncing. You're not quite sure why, maybe because Spencer was being Spencer. You supposed your comment that made it clear that you knew that he had feelings for you had scared him. Now, he was trying to protect himself, but you weren't so hungry for a relationship that you'd string him along for the sole purpose of getting over Hotch. You would've made this call had you figured it out or not, and you supposed the fact he didn't get that was what sucked. "I'm not that pathetic." you add with a quiet scoff.
"It's not about you being pathetic." he denies. "I don't think that about you., I just know that you're in a vulnerable place. You had real feelings for him, and I think it'd be best for you to get it all off your chest correctly, before you start projecting all those leftover feelings to the first person you can." and he doesn't mean it in the way it sounds. In fact the statistics about rebounds would sound a lot worse, but as usual, he's horrible at communicating exactly what he feels.
You blink. Once, twice, three times.
"I can't believe you just said that to me." you say, and you're abruptly standing up, mostly because you're about to cry like the fucking baby you were. Spencer's certain this is a new record for how quickly things could go left just because he couldn't shut the hell up. What he'd been trying to convey was that after a rejection, it was much easier to mistake platonic feelings for romantic ones. He had been a consistent shoulder for you to lean on since everything went south.
He didn't want you to think that he was being nice to you only because he had feelings for you, and convince yourself that you felt the same all because you refused to fully shut the door with Hotch. But he'd never actually meant to make it seem like you'd be so desperate, and especially not with him. "Y/N, wait. That's not what I meant-" except you're already leaving, taking in the shaky breath that told him he'd stupidly made you cry.
"L/N?" Emily's calling as you pass her, but you don't respond to her either. Instead you're rushing off in the direction of the bathroom, likely to calm yourself down. Emily's eyes are immediately snapping over to Spencer, and her eyebrows are furrowed. He instinctively looks away, internally cursing himself out.
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"Y/N/N?" you're surprised to hear JJ entering the bathroom, and you're hurriedly moving to splash at your face with water to keep it from looking so puffy. Still, JJ was as perceptive as she was pushy, so it's clear she's already put it together that you're crying. "Hey, is everything alright?" she takes on that motherly tone she uses with Henry, and the rest of the team when they're feeling down.
"I'm fine." you insist, and she doesn't look convinced. She takes a tentative step towards you, standing beside the sink you were occupying. "Seriously JJ, please just leave me alone." you partially beg.
"I know you're upset with me, but you're still my friend." she reminds you. "I'm not going to leave you in here when it's clear you're upset." she exclaims. "So you can talk to me or not, but I'm not going anywhere." she deadpans, and you sniffle, rubbing harshly at your cheeks. They're sensitive to the action, blood rushing to your face.
"You're so annoying." you mumble, but there's no bite. It makes JJ snicker, and it's a step in the right direction you're sure.
"It's my job." she retorts with a shrug, and she leans her back against the sink beside you, legs crossing slightly. "Is everything okay?" she tries again, much more gently as you frown. No, everything was not okay. You hadn't actually expected to be sitting here crying over Spencer's remark, but you supposed that the fact he believed you'd ever use him as a rebound had kind of hurt. You supposed it also didn't help that he'd so callously canceled your plans.
You'd actually started to look forward to hanging out with him.
"Do you think I'm desperate?" you question haughtily, and JJ's eyes widen, surprise overtaking her features as she turns to you fully.
"Of course not." she denies firmly, blonde ponytail bobbing with all her intense animation. "What would make you think that?" she pries, and you cut your eyes just slightly.
"You guys could have trusted me with the truth." you counter, and she falls silent. "And even if you couldn't there were so many other ways to keep me from finding out about Emily. Ways that didn't involve making me look like an idiot to the rest of the team." you mumble crossly, and you blink enough that you feel like your lashes are crumpling into your cornea. it forces you to drag a hand over them roughly, rubbing harshly at your eyes until the sensation left.
"That wasn't what we were trying to do." JJ tries, and it doesn't really matter what exactly she was trying to do. What mattered was what had happened. "You know that." she adds, and you think she's trying to appeal to the part of you that knew the type of people she and Hotch were. The ones that had proven their loyalty to the team for years and years. "Is this about Hotch?" she says and you wince because the problem wasn't that simple.
And you didn't understand why everyone seemed to think so.
You weren't some girl that couldn't handle rejection, what bothered you the most was that Hotch and JJ had felt like they couldn't trust you, and it bothered you that Hotch had felt like he had to play along to some stupid fantasy to ensure you'd play your role. And it especially bothered you that you'd mourned your friend Emily and everything you thought you knew about her, and all anyone could focus on was the fact that you liked Hotch and he didn't like you back. As if your entire world stopped all because of it.
"No, it's not about Hotch." you deadpan. "I wish you guys would just stop being so casual about it." you add on as JJ's mouth parts.
"Y/N... it's not really something that you'd ever really been subtle about. Everyone knows." and she's still trying to be gentle, despite the fact that the words still managed to slice at you.
"So that makes what you guys did, okay?" you shoot back. "Is that really the hill you want to die on?" and you're growing crosser. "This isn't about not being liked back by a guy, this is about me believing that the people I spend most of my days with have my back. How are we supposed to be a team when I can't trust you?" you press. "Because you never would have done that to Spence." you add, and JJ blinks, mostly because she doesn't know how to counter that.
"You didn't have to do it to Derek or Rossi or Penelope either." you remind her. "So what was it about me, about this that made your only course of action rubbing salt in a wound that I was doing a damn good job of healing all on my own?"
"I-I don't know." she admits, and you suppose it was an answer.
"Yeah, well I don't know if I have the patience to wait around for you all to figure that out." you mumble.
"What are you saying?" and JJ's blinking a bit more, eyes misty but not quite showing any signs of shed tears.
"I'm saying that before I didn't know if I wanted to stay here anymore. I love my job, but I don't love how it makes me feel now." you say plainly. "When Elle got like that and ignored her gut it got someone shot." you say, and it sounds melodramatic, but it doesn't feel that way at all. JJ gasps, though it's faint. "I just don't want to wait around for that to happen to me." and you inhale sharply, shuddered breath wracking through you as JJ stares at you clearly gobsmacked.
"But-" and she can't quite grasp the words. "You can't just leave." she exclaims, and it sounds like she's pleading. "Look-" and she's starting to sound just a little desperate. "Look we never wanted to hurt you, okay? And-and none of us..." and she stops to make sure she's staring you directly in your eyes. "None of us want to lose you, Y/N." she insists. "I-" and she's shaking her head again. "Please don't do this." and she sounds the same way Spencer did when he said it. Your nose twitches, "We just got the team back together." she mutters.
"JJ, that's not fair." you huff at her, and she's not really trying to be fair. She just doesn't want you to leave.
"I'm so sorry that we hurt you." and while most apologies that start that way are usually rife with deceit, JJ sounds more sincere than she probably ever has before. "And I'm sorry if it feels a little flat, especially with you already having a foot out the door." she sighs, "It wasn't okay, but-but I know how Hotch feels about you. How the entire team feels about you." she reiterates. "We can't do this without you, we can't." she emphasizes sternly. "And maybe that's selfish to bring up, but we all care so much about you." she promises.
You want to cut her off, but she doesn't give you the chance.
Classic JJ.
"Do whatever you need to! Take as much time away as you need, hate us forever if you have to, but please don't- don't walk away from what you do here." she exhales shakily. "And-and for the record, whether it helps or not... we didn't sit around discussing your... feelings for Hotch." she tells you quietly. "It wasn't some master plan that we composed, and-and I don't know... it couldn't have all been fake." she whispers, and you wonder why she's changing her tune, because just last week she was telling you that 'it wasn't real'
"JJ-" you finally manage and she's shaking her head.
"I'm serious." she insists, and your nose crinkles up again.
"Stop." you deadpan. "You're being really mean." you huff, and you begin to click at your nails just slightly. JJ thinks you're a little bit exasperating. Too stubborn for your own good, but she wont push.
"Could you just listen for one second?" she exclaims, and you're pouting as she grows more overwhelmed at it all. "I wouldn't lie to you about this." she insists, and you wonder why she, and Spencer have taken this sort of stance with you. It should make you hopeful, right? Oh, there was some chance that Hotch felt the same way as you. Except you can't be happy about it, because he's not the one that was sitting here telling you this. It was JJ.
What had you told Spencer earlier? 'There's no way to misunderstand when it's spelled out for you, right', and emotionally exhausted or not, you meant it. Which meant you refused to do the work for him. If he couldn't say it, if he couldn't admit it, than it was as if it wasn't true at all. Which is why you exhale, blinking away whatever bleariness tried to keep itself latched to your eyes. "I love you for trying so hard, but I'd rather you didn't." you instruct sternly.
JJ inhales deeply, audibly expelling the breath from her nose. "That's what you're missing, Y/N." she begins, and she reaches out, hand cupping your shoulder. "I'm not trying to do anything. Everything I've said today I meant. You're important, and you're a lot to lose." she admits. "If you're going to leave, leave because you hate the job, do it because you don't feel fulfilled any longer. But don't let this be what makes you throw in the towel, Y/N." she says and you huff again.
You were doing a lot of that today. "We'll make up for it." she begins, and then she sighs. "I'll make up for it, however long it takes." and you think her pivot from sharing the blame to taking it all for herself makes you feel a little less like you were being ganged up on. She was no longer the spokesperson for everyone involved, and was back to just being JJ, your friend JJ. "Please?" she tries again, and it's not like her to beg, which tells you all you need to know about how serious she was.
"We should get back to work." you mumble, and it's not quite the answer she's expecting, but at the very least it was a promise that you both still had until the end of the day at the very least. She doesn't have the strength to fight her smile, arms looping around you in a move that's much too invasive for your still sour mood, but you don't slight her for it. You instead let her hug you, because obviously it meant a lot more to her than you knew. She'd missed you.
"Alright, alright. That's enough." you tease, moving to lightly push the blonde off of you as she exhales.
"Can you blame me? I thought you were gonna hate me forever." she admits honestly, and you crinkle your nose.
"Guess I'm softer than I thought." you reply, and she waves you off at the remark. Still, despite this slight turn in the direction of your relationship with JJ, you still couldn't feel all that settled. But, you know hiding out in the restroom was by no means the best choice. So when JJ moves to leave, you tail her, surprised when on the other side is a nearly pacing Reid.
"Spence?" JJ exclaims in surprise, the tawny haired man turns to you both. He's immediately looking past JJ to take you in. JJ follows hos gaze and whistles under her breath, deciding that her job was done. She offers you a hopeful sort of look before she continues on towards her desk, leaving you and Spencer mostly alone.
"Are you okay?" he asks, and you're subjectively alright, for the moment. You're better than you were, but not as good as you could be. You're not anywhere near where or who you were before, but you suppose after what the team endured there wasn't much that could be done about that last bit. "I'm so sorry." he's exclaiming, and of course, he means it. He always means it. "I didn't mean to-" and he doesn't really know how to articulate all his thoughts correctly.
He's good with words, knows facts and statistics and data, knows what runs through his mind when he thinks about you, and knows what he wants to say. It's when he opens his mouth that things go awry, because despite all his grand attempts, he always manages to screw up when it came to expressing the emotional side of things. His pep talks sometimes fell flat, and a lot of times he missed the mark when it came to cheering someone up. But, he'd never wanted to be a person who hurt you, so he needed to fix it.
Even if it ruined everything forever.
"I wasn't trying to insinuate that you'd-" and he motions between the both of you. "I don't think that you see me as a rebound." he finally vocalizes. "That would mean you'd have to see me in a potentially romantic way." Spencer's voice is as steady as it often was when he was giving a geographical profile or helping to relay some form of fact or evidence during a case. Which said a lot about his intentions, and how serious he was about you not misunderstanding him.
"I was merely trying to note that a lot of times in circumstances where we're faced rejection from someone we hold to a high regard, it's really easy to misinterpret our own feelings and latch onto people before we really mean to." he expresses, and your chewing on the inside of your cheek, albeit subtly. "For example, because you've established me as someone who you can trust during this time, it'd be really easy for you to misinterpret what you think you feel for me." he says, and your eyebrows furrow inwardly.
"How could I possibly do that? They're my own feelings." you retort.
"Because, the first thing people do after a breakup, is they seek validation, or a new way to boost their esteem and self worth." he doesn't quite lecture, but it's clear he's intent on your knowing all of this. "And that doesn't necessarily mean that you're vying for me as a potential person to bounce back with, but a lot of times when you don't process the end of a previous emotional bond, your view of the entire new dynamic can be warped." he proceeds, and you're still not really understanding his point, instead you're feeling more silly.
"What are you saying, Spencer?" you question quietly.
"All I'm trying to explain is that I don't want you to tell me that you want to go out and listen to me promenade facts unless it's what you really want to do." he says, "I don't want you to feel like you're obligated to play along, because you think we're in the same boat... where we- we love someone that we can't have?" he presses, and he winces once it's out, you think you may have started holding your breath. "Does that make sense to you?"
You nod your head limply, and you take in his words. You find that your little hunch about your dear Spencer was correct. You also note that it doesn't quite scare you the way you'd initially believed it would. "Spence, I wouldn't do that to you." you remind him, and he nods too.
"I know that." he promises. "At least not consciously, but our minds can play tricks on us. You could think that this is what's best, moving on... forgetting about- about everything that happened." he presses, and your lips form into a thin line. "And then wake up in three weeks and remember why you fell in love with Hotch to begin with."
"Or-" and his eyes widen.
"Or?"
"Or...I could choose to stop waiting around for someone to not be afraid to love me." you counter. "I could- I could choose to hang out with my friend, Spencer and be okay with whatever happens after that. I could- We could do that. And it could be okay." you purse your lips. "Because, it's what I want to do. Nobody's entitled to my feelings but me, and you know what that means, Spencer? It means that if you think that you might love me, you need to be okay with that." he looks a bit startled that you're saying it so bluntly, but stays quiet.
"And you need to know that sometimes your statistics are gonna be wrong, and sometimes the guy that's too scared to admit how they feel doesn't get the girl." it's a shock, you can't say that you've fallen out of love in a day, you can't say that you've fallen in love in a day. But you do know that Spencer Reid managed to invoke a hope inside of you that you hadn't managed to feel in a long time. He made you girlishly giddy, and you liked talking to him, you liked listening to him, you liked the way it felt when you'd made plans together.
And maybe there was no such thing as a happily ever after where everyone gets who they want, maybe in three weeks you would wake up and find that you and Spencer were better off as friends, but you weren't going to hold up your life in the hopes that maybe someday Aaron Hotchner would wake up and decide he was finally ready to love you out loud. Not when there was a chance to take your own life, your own emotions by the balls and do with them what you wanted.
"He doesn't?" Spencer asks, and you're not quite sure you can place what emotions are resting on his face and in his eyes.
"We can find out." you offer, and it's not some heady and heavy declaration of unyielding devotion, but wasn't that sort of how every relationship started? With some decision to take a chance. Maybe, you didn't really know. "There's this music store I've been dying to check out." you say, and for the second time that day Spencer seems to brighten right in front of your eyes. "It's sort of right on the strip, if you don't mind going with me... there's a lot we could do…" and the small change is almost everything. It's scary, causes a pit in your gut.
Still, it's a nicer feeling than uncertainty and the hollowness left behind by idleness. "Are you in?" you ask, and Spencer is already nodding his head, smile reaching his eyes as his pretty teeth reveal themselves to you, eyes twinkling in a way that's very very beautiful.
"Yes." he agrees with a simple nod. "I would-" and you think it's cute the way his smile refuses to leave, and sweet the way he's suddenly grown nervous all over again. "I'd like that-" and his voice cracks, and earns him a laugh, your own demeanor seeming to change as your excitement starts to brew in the depths of your chest.
"Good." you beam.
"Good." he repeats, and there's a small moment, a flicker where you're certain you both look nervous, frightful of what came next. But it only lasts a second, because you're both suddenly being called by Derek, a resounding 'Pretty Boy, Pretty Girl' forcing you out of your bubble and back into the fray. With another shared smile you find yourselves in step, making your way back towards the heart of the bullpen where the rest of the team is huddled. It's rare when work is so light, but you know as well as everyone else, you'll all take advantage of it.
When Penelope smiles at you, you smile back, and it's real.
When JJ plants herself on top of your desk, the two of you actually laugh, spilling secrets and trading gossip like nothing's ever changed.
When Rossi calls you Piccola, you relax even more into the familiarity of being surrounded by your teammates.
When Derek slings an arm around your shoulder and plants a kiss to the top of your head, you remember why you loved your job.
When Emily calls your name and waves you and JJ over to the group, you oblige, meeting Emily's eyes with no mirth left behind. When she calls you by your nickname, you feel that familiar swarm of familial adoration filling your chest, and recognize that things with her would be okay. You find that in the grand scheme she is still your Emily.
When you find yourself standing next to your boss, his usually stern and stoic persona shed in the presence of the team he considered family, you hardly bat an eye. When he smiles at a joke you make, you're pleased, but the anxiety, the panic that tormented you is all gone. The butterflies are too, replaced with the respect you remember.
And when you find yourself looking across the circle and meet the pretty brown eyes of one Spencer Reid, you feel it when your heart tremors, just a little bit.
And you think, in the end, you made the right decision.
183 notes · View notes
beiiibeii · 2 days
Text
cold nights
husband!arlecchino x wife!reader wlw sfw angst
tw : angst, slight comfort, arle makes reader cry, reader is sad, arle doesnt know what to do, arle is bad at comforting but shes doing her best :(
sorry for being gone for ages, not proofread
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arlecchino being a fatui harbinger meant that she would often always come home late after you, her 'dear' wife, had fell asleep. she prioritised work over everything and forget the plans you two would make. she often ends up neglecting you, it had been a while since she actually gave you affection, physically, or any words of affirmation.
more recently, arlecchino had been more distant than ever, you two barely talked or even saw each other. especially since she was always in and out the house and taking on unusual working hours. you knew her work was stressful. you understood that, but she would never take your advice to take breaks. you would usually bicker over these subjects over and over again, constantly.
even when today was your 2 year anniversary, today was no different to any other.
you woke up in the morning, alone as usual. the light rain hitting against the window reflected your state of mind. as your hold on the covers tighten, you just silently really hoped she had stayed in bed for just a while longer. not soon later, you got out of bed, the living room was cold since the heater was broken. you'd have to make a mental note to get it repaired.
knowing it was your 2 year anniversary, you had gone out and spent time to buy her a pretty silver ring and an beautiful boquet of flowers. her favourite of course, lumidouce bells. you had spent the whole day waiting for her to come home from work. you laid out your gifts for her on a table in your shared room, excited for her to come home. perhaps she was going to surprise you by pretending to forget.
but the hours passed.. seconds felt like hours.. before you knew it, it was already midnight, you were still waiting.
an gnawing feeling of disappointment and doubt was clawing at your heart. you had already cried a few times today. suddenly, you receive messages from childe. you were rather close with him. apparently, she had been seen around one of the new recruits around zapolyarny palace alot more recently. he thought it was only right to tell you.
you felt like tearing up all again. thoughts of arlecchino forgetting your 2 year anniversary and having an affair plagued your mind. you start doubting yourself as you look in the mirror. all you see are your puffy eyes and tearstained cheeks, glossy from the moonlight casted upon your shared bedroom.
you take a good look at yourself, wondering if you were ever even good enough for the infamous, unfeeling harbinger. you no longer felt like you were even relevant to her anymore.
arlecchino had already entered your home and walked into your shared room. you didnt even notice her presence especially since you so distraught. the second she walked in arlecchino noticed the gift box and bouquet of flowers.
it wasn't until she noticed then, the realisation had actually set in that it was your anniversary today. the intoxicating smell of lumidouse bells filled the air. she felt her heart heavy with guilt. her chest tighten slightly.
she saw you looking at yourself in the mirror, not noticing her. quietly she walks behind you. as she gets closer to you, she sees your teary eyes. she already knew this was all her fault. she felt remose drown out all her feelings, but she didn't show it, of course.
being too lost in your own thoughts, you didnt notice her until her arms wrapped around your waist. you was hit by the smell of her cologne. you flinched a little after being pulled out of your thoughts. you only just remembered you looked like a mess right now.
"my apologies, my dear.." she whispered lowly to you into your ear as she looks at you through the mirror.
arlecchino was warm. a warmth you hadn't felt for a while. you missed the days where she would cuddle up with you in bed, showering you with words of affirmation and just.. talk again. the thought of it made you tear up once more.
you lowered your head, pulling away from her. arlecchinos eyes narrowed with an hint of sadness. she was pained. you didn't want to be mad at her, but you both knew sorry wouldn't suffice.
"you always forget.." you whispered out. you really hoped your voice wasnt too hoarse for her to notice.
she took your hand, gently pulling you in once more. her eyes peered into yours. she could see the disappointment on your face, the puffy red eyes and your tear stained cheeks up close. she ran a hand through your hair, her gaze narrowing. she really wanted to fix things between you two, but she didn't know how to.
"i really am sorry... i got caught up in work-" she mused before getting cut off by you pulling away again from her touch. her hand that was running through your hair fell by her side immediately again. you denied her touch, she felt something stab her heart in a way she hasn't felt before. she didn't like it.
you didnt want to be angry at her. you was just disappointed that she had forgot about your anniversary. such an important date.. the day you two got married.. she had forgotten like she did all the dates you two would of planned and even adjusted to her schedule. you turned away from her.
"you say that all the time..." you replied quietly after a long pause. your voice was shaky despite how much you tried to stabilise it. you felt your throat closing up. that feeling of despair was bubbling in your stomach. you faced the balcony, away from her with your head hung low. you felt your eyes blur from the tears pooling in your eyes. you were a mess.
guilt consumed arlecchino as she watched you turn away from her, your words like a sharp dagger to her heart. she stepped closer towards you. her blackened hands firmly holding your shoulders in hopes of being able to get her words across to you.
"i mean it. please, look at me." she asked you with an subtle sigh of exhaustion.
you shook your head. you felt tears run down your cheek. you tighten your grip your clothes as your let our a breath you didn't know you was holding. arlecchino's lips pushed together subtly. she wanted to say so much, but she was never good at expressing herself. she didn't want people to know she was weak. especially not to you, she was your husband after all.
"childe told me that you have been around this new recruit for the past few weeks.. are they better than me? is that why you always come home late now?" you murmur, quietly with your voice cracking at the end.
your emotions were running wild all over the place. you were unable to control your feelings of anger and disappointment in her right now. arlecchino's eyes narrowed ever so slightly. her front cracking ever so slightly. you couldn't tell but from the inside she was getting panicky. she knows who your talking about.
unfortunately for arlecchino, she just had to work with this stupid new recruit who wouldn't get off her ass no matter how many times she had told her to. she quickly shook her head after being pulled out her thoughts.
"no. that's not it at all. i promise you." she paused, taking a moment to say the right words.
"yes, i have been working a lot more lately, but its not what you think dear." she felt her heart sink deeper the conversation dragged on.
she really hoped you didn't get the wrong idea. she should of known better. she should of just gotten rid of that shameless recruit when she didn't obey her commands to leave her alone.
your teeth gritted together at her words. it was so stupid. you felt like she was just feeding you lies just for the sake of it. you took a shaky breath.
"don't lie to me! you remembered their birthday yesterday and not our anniversary!" you raised your voice at her in anger as you turned to face her.
you could hear how held back your voice was. you didnt want to shout at her. your teary gaze met her stoic ones.
arlecchino stood there speechless, the realization sinking in. she saw the angered look on your face. she never saw it often and she hated it. her eyebrows furrowed slightly, she had indeed remembered that fatui recruit's birthday but not your anniversary. it was only because the recruit kept nagging arlecchino about it.
she shouldn't of listened to anything an pathetic, low life of an fatui recruit said. seeing you in such pain made her heart ache with guilt. she took a step closer, her expression filled with remorse.
"my dear, i'm so sorry. i didn't mean to forget. i've just been so busy with work. please believe me, it's not about her-"
"i'm sure it is all about her! i know you were out late with her having dinner on her birthday! am i just a backup to you? is that all i am to you!?" you cry out. you felt your chest tighten.
arlecchino's heart clenched at your words. she was practically dragged into having dinner with her, but she had no romantic interest in the recruit. her eyes narrowed in subtle remorse and guilt.
"no, no, no. dear, your not a backup. not at all. your my priority, you know that already.."
she reached out, firmly holding your shoulders before you pushed her hands off you. she was getting more worried now, she didn't know what to do in moments like these.
"dont touch me!" you sobbed out, your voice hoarse.
"if you want to remember everything related to her and nothing about us, then fine! i dont want to see you right now!" you shouted at her. leaving the room, shutting the door with an small bang.
arlecchino took a few steps to go after you before stoping immediately. she nodded with an sigh as she processed your words. she wanted to reach out, to explain, but she knew she had hurt you deeply.
she knew she had did wrong. arlecchino was angry at herself for letting things get this bad. more sadness that she had caused you so much pain. arlecchino knew you preferred time alone to calm down. she knew it was only right to not see each other for now. she had to think of how to make everything all better. she could hear her head berating herself with insults and comments on how bad of an husband she is to you.
time ticked by slowly for arlecchino. the guilt and worry gnawed at her insides as she waited for you to come upstairs. she knew you needed time to cool down, but the silence was deafening. she replayed the argument in her head over and over, regretting every careless mistake she had made. her eyes drifted to the gifts you got her, a fresh bouquet of her favourite flowers and a pretty ring. she gently slide the ring onto her finger.
fuck you had even remembered her ring size.
arlecchino had taken you for granted, neglecting your needs and your relationship. she couldn't believe she let things get this bad. after two long, agonising hours, she couldn't bear it any longer. she walked out of your shared room and slowly made her way downstairs.
arlecchino quietly opened the living room door. she let out a shaky breath, feeling the coldness of the room. her eyes widened slightly as she saw you asleep on the couch, clutching the plushie she had gifted you not long ago in your arms. the room was dark, and she could see the gleam of fresh tears on your cheeks in the moonlight. the sight of you, alone and sleeping in the cold room broke her heart.
once again, she felt guilt rush to her heart, she knew that the heater was broken. arlecchino silently cursed herself for not being able to sustain you with the comfort and warmth you deserved.
arlecchino carefully walked closer to you, her footsteps almost inaudible. her eyebrows furrowed at the sight of your shivering form and the tears rolling down your cheeks, even in your sleep. she could only imagine that your dreams were plagued by negative thoughts, likely centered around her and the argument you two earlier tonight. the despair consumed at her heart, knowing she was responsible for your tears.
gently, she knelt down beside the couch. her hand instinctively reached out to wipe the tears from your cheek, her touch feather-light. she let out a shaky breath, it really was cold here. it was only then she had realised it had been weeks since she had been this close to you. the realization of her neglect only fueled her guilt. she gently brushed a strand of hair away from your face, her fingers lingering on your skin longer than they should of. she felt warmth bubble within her after being away from you for a while.
she really had to make up for everything, tenfold.
arlecchino thought it was only right to start showing she did care. she was never good with her words, just her actions. carefully, she lifted you into her arms. she carried you out of the cold room. her narrowed eyes softened slightly as she looked at your tear-stained face, still asleep from exhaustion.
quietly, she stepped into your shared bedroom and gently laid you down on the soft, warm bed. ensuring not to awake you from your sleep. as she tucked you under the warm covers, her heart swelled with love and guilt. arlecchino wanted to sleep with you. hug you and whisper sweet things into your ears. make it all up to you and take your pain away.
but not just yet. she knew she had no right to be near you just yet, especially not after all the pain she has caused you the past weeks. she had to respect you and give you space, for now. she thought it was only right if she got a taste of her own medicine. to atone to her mistakes.
she left the warm shared bedroom, closing the door with a soft click. arlecchino stood in the hallway for a moment, looking at the closed bedroom door. she took a deep breath, readying herself for the cold night ahead. she slowly walked down the stairs and settled back onto the cold couch in the living room.
she felt sick for leaving you alone so often. the couch was uncomfortable and cold, but she knew the night tonight was not as cold as the nights you had to endure without her.
she would take the week off for you. she will make sure to shower you with love and apologise to you. she will make sure to make up for forgetting the anniversary.
she may not always be the most expressive, but she wants to make sure you know she cares. you were the only spark in her life and she never wanted you to blow out.
she silently promised to show you the love and care you deserved, starting from this moment forward.
tbh i only thought of this bc my radiator was broken 😭
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deanssluvr · 3 days
Text
thought you were made for me pt. 2
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part 1
pairing: brother’s bsf!Joost Klein x fem!reader
warning: SMUT. oral (male receiving). fingering. unprotected p in v (wrap it before you tap it). mdni
word count: 2k
a/n: first time writing smut so i’m kinda nervous to post this ngl. thank you for all the love on the first part! hope you guys like this part. Also i’m taking requests. only for joost klein at the moment. not proofread sorry
“My place or yours liefje (sweetheart)” You quickly weighed out your options. The both of you could go to his place and fuck in peace without being in fear of being interrupted. Or you could go back to your house and run the risk of being caught by your brother. The risk of it made you feel more excited.
“Mine.” You answered in full confidence. 
“Are you sure? I mean your brother is gonna leave soon and he could catch us.” He looked concerned, but you placed your hands on either side of his face and pulled him into another heated kiss. Then you pulled away.
“Then we better not get caught.” You gave him a sly smile and with that Joost sped out of the parking lot.
The ride back home felt like hours, yet the tension never faltered between you. He managed to keep one hand on the steering wheel and the other on your thigh. His thumb rubbed softly against your thigh. Anticipation built up as he pulled into the driveway. When the car came to a full stop, he looked at you. He searched your eyes for any sort of hesitation. You gave him a reassuring smile before you both got out of the car. 
As you both approached your front door, you quickly dug through your purse for the keys. You heard him quietly chuckle as he watched you struggle. Once you open the door, toss your purse on the dining room table and take him by the hand. You led him upstairs to your bedroom which was across from your brother’s. As soon as you shut the door, Joost places his hands on your waist and pulls you into a kiss. This time it was different from the one you shared at the bar. This time it was hungrier, messier. His hands started to become more familiar as he explored every curve. You wrap your hands around his neck, pulling him closer. Your fingers were entangled in his hair, pulling softly at his locks. He pulled away, panting, and spoke softly.
“Get on your knees for me liefde (love)” He breathed out. You were quick to do so as you sunk to your knees. You look in front of you and are greeted with an eager bulge in his pants. You reached your hands to his belt buckle. Stopped to look up again him, silently asking for permission. He gave you a small, almost desperate, nod encouraging you to continue. You look back at the task ahead and unbuckle his belt. Then you unbutton his pants, and finally unzip his pants, letting them fall to the floor. Now you were staring at his black boxers and his clothed cock that was begging to be free. You noticed a tattoo on his upper thigh. Your fingers graze over the tattoo and partially over his erection. You palmed him through his boxers earning a stifled groan from him. He inhaled sharply.
“Shit. liefde (love) please." He asked in a low and desperate toneYou hooked your fingers into the waistband of the boxers and slowly pulled them down letting them fall to the floor. His cock sprang free and you couldn’t help but stare. You spit on it before you took him in your hand, pumping him slowly. You could feel him growing harder i. your hand. You planted kisses starting from the base to his tip. You then took him into your mouth inch by inch. A low groan came from him and you took him. One of his hands found its way into your hair, pulling softly. You gagged as he got further down your throat.
“Take what you can liefde (love)“ he spoke softly. You took as much as you could and used your hand to stroke what you couldn’t take. You kept this teasingly slow pace for a good minute before you felt his hand gently to his desired speed. You didn’t mind because you just wanted to please him. Between desperate groans and panting he praised you in both English and Dutch. Saying how beautiful you were and how good you were for him. You could tell he was close because his grip on your hair tightened and his thrusts into your throat became sloppier. But he stopped before he could bring himself over the edge.
“Fuck.” He put his hand under your chin brought you up from your knees and pulled you into another sloppy kiss.
“Turn around for me.” you did as he asked, turning your back to him. His hand began tracing up your waist and your back. He carefully unzipped your dress and let it fall to the floor. He started to plant kisses on your shoulder and up your neck stopping near your ear. You felt goosebumps as you felt his hands unclip your bra and it fell to the floor. 
“Lay on your back for me.” He whispered in your ear. You did so and made your way onto the comfort of your bed. You laid back and made yourself comfortable, and when you looked back at him you caught him staring from the edge of the bed. His eyes looked over your now bare body. Under his gaze, you flustered. 
“Jij bent zo mooi (you are so beautiful)” he spoke as he crawled on top of you. He kissed you, this time more passionately. One of his hands found their way to your waist, gripping you tightly. The other traveled down to your panties, rubbing your clit through the wet cloth. 
“Fuck.” you breathed out followed by moans. His hand dipped into your panties, finally touching you. He started rubbing circles into your clit and you leaned your head further back into the pillow. You gave him more access to your neck. There he littered with kisses, biting and sucking as he pleases. He began pumping you with his fingers which earned him a particularly loud moan from you. It was like music to his ears to hear you like this. He started at an agonizingly slow pace but sped up when he heard you whimper. Then he started using his thumb to rub your clit and you thought you couldn’t get any louder. You felt slightly embarrassed at the near-pornographic noises coming from you. 
“Fuck. I’m c-close“You could barely get your sentence out, but he understood loud and clear and stopped. You looked at him, disappointed by his lack of contact and he just chuckled in response. He sat on his knees between your legs and hooked his finger on the waistband of your panties. Then he gently pulled them off, discarding them somewhere on the floor where the rest of your clothes lay. One of his hands found their way back to your hip as he held you tightly. The other one lined up his tip with your entrance, gently pushing in eliciting a loud moan from you. Just as he was about to continue, you both heard the front door open downstairs. You both paused and looked at each other as you listened to him slowly walk up the stairs and stop outside your door, knocking gently.
“Hey, sis. You home?” you heard through the door and you hesitated to answer. You didn’t want to respond so he’d leave you both alone, but he’d probably come in if he heard no response.
“Uhm yeah.” This is when a truly diabolical idea popped into Joost’s head. He slowly continued to push cock further into you inch by inch, stretching you out. You had to put your hand over your mouth to hold back from screaming. He buried his head in the crook of your neck and you could feel his grin.
“Were you okay earlier? Joost said you weren’t feeling well back at the club.” This painfully slow pace he was going at was going to be the death of you. 
“Y-yeah. I just have a migraine. That’s all.” He smiled at your weak attempt to speak. His entire length was finally inside of you. You felt so full. He then began slowly thrusting into you. Keeping your volume low was becoming increasingly more difficult.
“Oh okay. Well, I’ll let you get some rest. Goodnight.” You yelled back a pathetic “goodnight” before you heard him walk away from your door and into his room. You barely had time to address Joost and his actions before he suddenly picked up the pace, pounding into you. He crashed his lips against yours. It was messy but you didn’t care. Your fingers found their way into his hair, entangling themselves in his locks. Then he quickly finds your sweet spot and hits it relentlessly making you see stars. You were glad he was kissing you or you’d be screaming loud enough for the neighbors to hear. Each thrust brought you closer to the edge.
“I’m s-so so clo- fuck“ You can barely form sentences at this point, but it’s like he could read your mind. 
“Go ahead. cum for me schat (baby)” It only took a few more thrusts for you to let go. He placed his hand over your mouth to silence you as you came. Your back arched and tears streamed down your cheeks. You swear you could see stars as a wave of pleasure flooded through you. Your body started to relax as you came down from your high, but Joost was still thrusting into you.
“Hold on for me. I’m so fucking close.” His thrusts quickly became more sloppy and messier. There were strings of low groans coming from him. He finally brought himself over the edge, biting into your shoulder to silence himself. You both stay in that position for a moment just panting. You look at him. He’s covered in sweat and his hair is sticking to his forehead, but he still looks perfect to you. He slowly pulls himself out of you and you wince at how sensitive you were.
“Sorry liefde (love).” he lays down next to you and he gestures for you get come over to him. You do and he holds you close to him. You can hear his quickened heartbeat and listen as it slows down. It was quiet for a moment between you two. Both of you were hesitant to say anything. 
“Are you busy this weekend?” He broke the silence. You looked at him a bit confused. Was he scheduling your next hookup?
“No, I’m not. Why?”
“I wanna take you out. On a date.” It caught you completely off guard. You thought this would be a one-time thing. You were glad you were wrong. You looked up at him through dazed eyes.
“I would love that.” you smiled sweetly and you planted a small kiss on his lips. He pulled your blanket over the both of you. It didn’t take long for you to fall asleep.
You were woken up by the sunlight pouring into your window. The memories of the night prior flooded back into your mind. You almost couldn’t believe it happened, and when you look the man holding you right now it was him. The way the sun was hitting him made him even prettier. He moved one of his hands to run him as he woke up and adjusted to the sunlight. He looked down at you who was already looking at him.
“Good morning.” His voice was low and laced with sleep.
“Good morning.” You gave him a tired smile. He sat up and pulled you onto his lap. You lazily put your arms around his neck. His hands were softly holding your waist. He looked at you with nothing but love in his eyes. He grabbed your chin and pulled you into a kiss. It was sweet and different from last night. There was no rush.
“As much as I want to spend this morning with you, you should probably leave before my brother wakes up,” he looked at you with a fake look of disappointment. You pick up your phone and check the time, “But we have another 20 minutes til his alarm goes off.”
“Oh. Well in that case,” He turns you both over so now he’s laying on top of you, “We better make these next 20 minutes count.”
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weirdmorefics · 2 days
Note
Could you pls do a fake dating fic with Colin bridgerton? Tysm xx
A Life Long Scheme
A/N- Sorry for the delay! I really do have the fanfiction writer curse! I say that every time but I mean it! I got my appendix out and rode in an ambulance. They don't even play music in them FYI.
Readers Pronouns- She/Her
Word Count- 2,512
Summary- You convince Colin to fake court you to gain the attention of other suitors but jealousy consumes Colin.
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I knew I would have a hard time finding a suitor from a young age. My family may be wealthy enough to attend balls but certainly not enough for a sizable dowry for each of their children. I grew up competitive trying to prove myself worthy even if I came with a small dowry. My siblings relied on their looks but I was determined to be the best at everything. I will treat coming out like I do life competitively. As the eldest, I must set an example.
I was lined up with the others coming out into society this year. They all nervously played with their clothes and looked to the floor. I too felt like doing that but I kept my emotions bottled tightly in my chest and held my head high. We all took our turns bowing in front of the Queen she looked completely unbothered by us, dare I say bored.
I was last in line she looked me up and down and said, "I am unsure if anyone qualifies as a diamond this season."
I can't fight back the sharp inhale I take, I can physically feel my heart launch its way into my throat. I feel as if I may hurl as she gets up and walks away escorted by her guards. I look around at others visible shock. I can't help but feel the Queen just left because of me. I mean I was the last one. I need to do something! I can't fail already I just came out into society!
My night was filled with pacing and plotting. There has to be a way to impress Her Majesty. My Mama tried to comfort me but Father quickly told her there was no point in speaking to me when I was like this. I hate to admit but he is unfortunately correct. Once I am in a thought spiral there is no getting out. I thought of other seasons for most of the night as I lay in bed. What did they do to gain the Queen's attention? The most notable season of late would have to be Daphne's. I can't recall the last time The Ton has seen a marriage done with such haste before. She had a massive amount of suitors after her though that was only after The Duke's appearance.
The idea hit me suddenly I launched out of bed, put my carpet slippers on, and ran out of the house. I am lucky my family sleeps so soundly because I am sure I sounded like a horse trotting as I ran through the house. The Bridgerton manor is right next to ours, so close in fact that I grew up playing games with all the Bridgertons. Colin has always been my dearest friend (even though Mama always told me a male friend was improper). I knew Colin would go along with my plan, we have been scheming and pranking since we were children. This should be no different! It unfortunately hit me how late it was when I stood in the darkness of the Bridgerton Garden. I was here now I refused to backtrack just because it was an untimely hour.
I used the bushes to help guide me to Colin's familiar window. Once there I gathered tiny pebbles and started ricocheting them off his window. It did not take him long to wake and open the window with a messy bedhead and a lit lantern. His face instantly flushes at the sight of me.
"My god Y/n what are you doing out here in this state!" He shouts
I follow his gaze to my clothes and feel my face heat. My god, I did not think this through as I stood in front of Colin Bridgerton's window in the dark, in my silk nightgown. I will see this through the damage is done. "I have a plan," I smile.
He sighs and rubs his forehead, "Oh no… you are lucky my sleeping schedule is still askew from traveling abroad. Now get inside before someone sees you!"
I met him in the drawing room and he refused to look me in the eye, "So what is so important that you have decided to grace the house with your presence at this ungodly hour."
"I am here to present you with a proposition," I clasp my hands as he finally looks at my face suspiciously.
"And what might this proposition be? I can assume nothing good," he questions.
I roll my eyes and pace as I recite my plan."As you know Daphne was utterly suitorless during her season courtesy of Anthony. However, the moment a Duke entered the picture she had men competing for hand. They could not care less about Anthony's interventions."
Colin nodded confused, "Your point?"
"My point is I need competition! So I propose that you pretend to court me! If you will? I know you are aware of my Papa's financial situation… I mean the whole ton is after Lady Whistledown published his unfortunate business decisions and his one-too-many daughters for a dowry. None of this will matter if I can get a suitor who loves me and will help my family but that can't be done if I can't attract a suitor!" I continue to pace as Colin looks entirely unsure of what to make of this situation. I take a deep breath, "So what do you say?"
Colin looks at me with puppy dog eyes, "Of course Y/n. You are my dearest friend. I must know why you decided to discuss this so late at night in your…" he flushes again and looks to the ground. "In your nightgown."
I suddenly became all too aware of my attire and became a stuttering mess, "the conversation was of utmost importance the time of day and clothing choices have nothing to do with it!"
Colin smirks, "I see."
"I must save my Papa's business if not for him but for the chance my sisters will get to marry for true love and not for financial gain," I sigh. Colin's eyes which were once teasing turn to sadness, "Do not look at me like that Colin. I don't need your pity, I need your help."
He nods and straightens his posture, "Of course Y/n. Of course, I will help."
I quietly snuck back into the house after speaking to Colin. The plan was set in stone he would be the first dance on my dance card and we would round up potential suitors together. We were joined at the hip for every event and I purposely chose the busiest times to promenade so the most amount of suitors would see us.
I soon began to gain the attention of many suitors and even had many coming to my house to call on me! Mama was so proud I was so happy to take her mind off the situation with Papa.
Mama pulled me to the side of the drawing room, "Maybe hanging out with the Bridgerton boy will help you! Maybe their fortune will rub off on us!" I was proud to inform her I was to promenade in the park today with Colin. It was odd to see her smile with excitement instead of pale at the thought of her daughter spending her time with a man who never planned to court her. I wish she wasn't only proud of me when I wasn't doing something that benefited me in finding a wealthy suitor. It's no matter though, I will do anything to make her proud, and it feels like I'm finally doing it. She spent the whole morning with me to find a suitable dress for my outing.
Colin arrived promptly at the time we set previously and accompanied me to the park. As we promenaded I felt many eyes on us they truly believed Colin would court the daughter of a family barely escaping financial ruin. It is truly almost humorous how easily we have swayed the ton.
"It is truly working Colin! Mother is so proud that I will be the one to save my family's reputation. Such a shame she picked such a layered gown for one of the warmest days of the season," I whisper and fiddle with the seams of my dress.
Colin sighs, "How many suitors are you getting from this Y/n? They can't all have honorable intentions given your beauty and your family's standing."
I roll my eyes, " Why Colin Bridgerton are you jealous? I would not think you are the type. Do not worry you will always be my dearest friend. No husband could replace you."
His face turns serious, "I am just worried. I hope you are doing this for the right reasons and not for the sake of your Mama… and I am most certainly not jealous."
For someone who said he is certainly not jealous he didn't sound quite certain. That, however, is not what distracted me. "You think I want to marry a man not for love but purely for financial gain? It is every woman's dream to marry for love! We can't all have the privilege to do so! Especially one born into a family with a gambling addict for a father and a mother too frail to defend herself. My mother has been preparing me for coming out since I was a child! This is my job as the eldest! To secure a good future for my siblings so perhaps they get the opportunity to marry for love as I will never get to!" I back up as if I may burn from Colin's shocking gaze but I still point a finger at him, "And the fact that you don't already know this Bridgerton is having me question if we ever truly were friends! Perhaps all those travel stories in your head leave not much room for anything else."
I storm away from the Bridgerton, I think after his initial shock he calls for me but my rage prevents me from looking back to see if it was true or a cruel trick of my ears. It was perhaps not the greatest idea to run off from a suitor with no chaperone. Maybe I wouldn't have found myself in such a precarious situation if I had chaperone. I find myself cursing my father in my head for his terrible gambling habits that prevent anyone from wanting to associate with the likes of us. Therefore getting me into this mess in the first place.
"Y/N L/N, we have been watching you for quite some time. Your father never described your intense beauty but how could one put it into words?" The seedy man approached me.
I smiled politely, "Thank you! May I inquire how you know my father?"
"Oh darling I think you know why we are here. I mean the whole ton knows about your father's habits shall we say." He smiles menaceingly and I think to myself of course this has to do with his damn gambling habits.
I back up in case I have to make a quick escape and he unfortunately catches on. He grabs my wrist to keep me in place, "We have been very patient with your father. Given his position in the ton, we thought we could be lenient with his payment schedule. However, it turns out we were mistaken. What is more shocking is the fact that his daughter thinks she has a chance of finding a suitor with no dowry."
"Sir please unhand me," I try to pull away from his grasp.
"You think being in the company of the Bridgertons will help your family situation? Perhaps we could take you as payment? You do draw a lot of attention despite your social ruin. We could use you to bring more men to the establishment," he smiles sinisterly.
I yank my hand away even harder out of fear but his strength still outmatches mine, "Why would I ever help you put more families in financial ruin!"
He laughs, "Darling you think you have a choice?"
His eyes narrow at something behind me and I hear Colin's voice, "I believe the lady asked you to unhand her."
"This does not involve you, sir," he growled.
"You see it is my business when you have your hands on my betrothed, Colin growls back.
My eyes furrowed in confusion. He had been fake courting me of course but we certainly did not discuss a fake betrothal.
The man laughs yet again, "I read in Lady Whistledown that you were courting her but the fact a Bridgerton would sink to the likes of the L/N family."
I took in a shallow breath and Colin growled in response. This situation was going quickly downhill.
"You will not besmirch the lady's name! Now I won't ask again unhand her!" Colin shouts.
"Whatever you say," he smirks and tosses me to the ground. Colin's grimace seems to only encourage the man more, "I'd honestly prefer to use her to replace her father's debt but if you want to drag your family name down with her so be it." He walks away with a peppy jaunt in his step and I glare at him from the ground.
Colin quickly helps me to my feet, "I would have dueled him right here and now if I was not in the presence of a lady."
I brush the dirt off my gown, "It's fine. I'm fine. I will handle it."
"No, you will not! you will not take a step towards that insipid man," he yells.
"Well, Colin you don't really have any choice in that matter! Do you? You are just fake courting me. Or fake betrothing me now? I don't know. I have lost track honestly!" I rant.
His face turns serious, "Y/n I care for you! I would forsake my whole family name for you! You think I do not burn with rage every time I see a new man attempt to call on you after I started court you! I noticed your beauty and your smarts before any of these men did! The fact that they only noticed you once another gentleman entered the picture is disgraceful! I will always notice you Y/n! I will never let your family go through this! I hope to be a love match for you and help your family."
Tears collect in my eyes. As the oldest sibling I've never been the one that was cared for but the one that does the caring. Colin's words made me feel full. I try to tease but it comes more out as a sob, "Mr. Bridgerton are you proposing to me."
He smiles, "I think it is about time I finally proposed to you after you always proposed your schemes to me. So what do you say Ms. L/N? Would you like to continue proposing schemes to me for the rest of our lives?"
I nod aggressively smiling. There was no stopping the happy tears now.
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