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#sorry. im professional i promise
frontyard-stars · 5 months
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SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP
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Cursed marmont doodle dump
What can I say....I was in a drawing mood 😭
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I assaulted the discord server with these 💀💀💀
Will you guys ever forgive me ? 🥺
Ps. Vicenzo Dandolo tea is explained in the comments
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outlandscanyon · 1 year
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boxwinebaddie · 3 months
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UNCLE NINA WRITES WEIRD JK STAN LETTERS!
hello benevolent angel people!
( because you're wonderful but bc you're doing gods work by supporting my dead fanfic from hell. c:’ )
so this is a lil...experimental? but bc i've been dabbling on that one ask large lore ask that set before kyle knows raven of crimson dawn is his stan, i've gotten very attached to writing the silly jersey letters to dead stan in his journal again. ( again, nina lore is that it's what a friend had me do when my first cat passed away.
i still write to her. <3 )
but this is just something i wrote to get back into the habit of writing again. i put it on docs and i used a font which...okay? tbh, i think looks exactly like i want jk's handwriting to look. like its very swirly, he is my calligraphy king. i didn't proof it bc i just wrote...all of it tonight like a weird crazy person.
also i realize jk sounds...a lot like me
— but he Is me, tbh?
like in some facets i did give him lil pieces of myself so he could grow into an uber tall thicc as hell academic hot jersey talk shit get hit boy.
( i also do think he's a lot goofier with stan in his little letters esp since he doesn't think that anyone is going to read them they are just his lil vent space. let it out king! )
as for the timeline...i think it's pre!rm bonus content? like i dropped a little context about stuff that happened before the fic, but i think it's probably written anywhere in the last 1-2 years of rm before kyle went to that crimson dawn concert. i'm not sure what compelled me to write it i just...really like vulnerable jersey just being a jersey dirtbag but like kneeling by the stan shrine and asking for light.
speaking of...as far as triggers go. mostly the spelling is just bad, help, but jersey does talk a lot about stan dying and is very...distressed about it. he's also...really depressed and is not at the moment coping super well, but is reaching out for help. <3 always reach out for help when you need it. i didn't mention anything specific, but he does just mention thinking he's not a good person, feeling ugly, unworthy, lost, etc...TW FOR HIM BEING SO VULNERABLE AND CUTE ALSO.
he is...my secret loverboy prince.
he is my lo-...
my L-
anyways...ROLL CLIP!
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#i cannot tell u what compelled me to make...this#but it did make me feel nice so idk its not the most professional or formulaic thing ive ever written#but i think its nice i am sorry if the found is too gnar i really wanted to do a jk letter in like a letter structure for once#also this is it so funny to me that jk out here trying to rizz himself up to fucking dead GHOST stan like he is insane#also im like oh god does he sound too much like me?? BUT HE IS ME I GAVE HIM LOTS OF ME IDK AAAA SORRY#he is a lovely man when hes not being horrible and i am Also a sweet lovely man when im not being horrible#but idk him giving stan all the cute nicknames and like writing a letter and for the first time in a very long time#wasnt completely honest but was mostly honest about just not being the best and needing to be and needin someone else#OOOOOOOOY MY EYES ARE WATCHING HELP ME#no im so sorry if u were victimized by sexy topdom jersey sometimes he is like on critical boyfailurisms#he wants to impress like one motherfucker and its dead stan marsh like HAUNT ME PROMISE ME#HAUNT ME LIKE AN OLD VICTORIAN HOUSE AN UNDERWATER SHIPWRECK when i tell u i was in pain#also not him just building his ideal boyfriend like he won i love you jersey SPEAKING OF DO U SEE HIM#DO YOU SEE HIM TRYING TO DO IT HES TRYING TO TYPE THE!!!! IM TELLING YALL HE CANT DO IT#HE COULDNT EVEN TELL DEAD STAN ANYWAYS THAT AS MAKING ME CRY sorry ill proof it a lots wrong w it#i am very sleepy nina please stop...not sleeping from stress#but i hope it pleases and sparkles <3
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cloudyydraws · 11 months
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Hey guys!!! Decided to open art commissions for the next while! Feel free to contact me through tumblr/twt dms or ask for my discord if youre interested! I'm willing to negotiate for lower prices too :)
Might start with taking 3 to 5 at a time for now!
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mydemonsdrivealimo · 4 months
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posting this in hopes they see it <3
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steelycunt · 2 years
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19!!!!! PLEASE
HELLO BAB!! OF COURSE!! ANYTHING FOR YOU!!
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The very first time and they’re seventeen in his fourth childhood bedroom—duck-egg wallpaper, ratty sheets, Harry Nilsson record turned down to a faint murmur and all but forgotten. There are the scratches he made in the doorframe, there’s the bed with the peeling paintwork, there’s the hands of the most beautiful boy he’s ever seen, twisting into his t-shirt: “can I...take this off?”
A floorboard creaking. “My dad’s downstairs,” Remus says, which isn’t an answer at all. He lays a hesitant touch of his palm to Sirius’ hip, the sharp poke of bone and a glimpse of bare skin above the waistband of his briefs.
He wants to say, we’ve never asked that question before. He wants to say, I’m not sure why you would want to do a thing like that. Sirius’ knuckles digging in to the soft stretch of his stomach, just barely. Remus imagines them leaving indentations there, as though his flesh is clay.
“But your door’s locked, no? Is he likely to knock?” Sirius looks down at him; fine dark hair falling against Remus’ skin, making him shiver. He has kissed him and kissed him again and now his mouth is all damp and red and ruined. Old-fashioned floral curtains. Nilsson’s cover of She’s Leaving Home drifting in, stepping outside, she is free.
“Or, I mean—” Sirius falters, “sorry, we don’t have to. Obviously. I thought—thought I’d ask, I know we haven’t done anything like that—”
“It’s alright.” Which it should be, really—it’s nothing Sirius hasn’t seen before. Remus and his body like a hit-and-run crime scene, his body that betrays him and complains about him and never seems to patch itself together quite right, his body that can’t be bothered with itself. It’s only ever been something to be dealt with, pacified, winced at, that scar won’t heal if you keep picking at it, those bandages ought to be changed.
A stack of books on the floor by his bed—Shelley, Burroughs. A hairline crack in the plaster of his ceiling. Remus has never thought of his body as something to be loved, to be wanted, and yet here’s Sirius, off-his-fucking-trolley Sirius, asking to make an altar of it anyway.
“You can take it off,” he tells him. “Go for it.”
“Yeah?” Sirius rakes his hair back, grins, split-skin and a small chip in one of his front teeth from playfighting with James when they were twelve: Remus adores it. “Alright, then. I love you. You know I love you?”
“Yeah.” And he does know it; knows it as Sirius’ lips are on his, and as he sits up against the headboard to let him tug his shirt up past his head. They’re laughing into each other’s mouths when his arms get stuck, noses smashing into each other. And all of it really just means I love you, over and over again.
Sirius tosses their shirts down somewhere. He turns back, and Remus’ breath rattles about in his throat like a blue-bottle for a moment—he watches for something, some twitch or twist of Sirius’ face that says disgust, that says horror. Thinks of all the white scar tissue scraped across his chest, or the awkward jut of his elbows, his ribs. Teeth marks torn into his side.
“You’re so lovely,” says Sirius, anyway. “Is this still okay? Can I touch you?”
(And, after this: Sirius will kiss bruise after gnawing bruise into Remus’ neck and down, down past his collarbones. Once it’s over, they’ll get dressed again, and Remus will stand in front of the bathroom mirror and try to hide every last one with a glamour, because his dad is downstairs. He’ll ask Sirius, did I miss any, are they all gone, you definitely can’t see them?
Sirius, sitting on the edge of the bathtub, wearing that daft, lazy little smile that makes Remus’ lungs roll around inside him like marbles. You missed the one beneath your ear, Moony, just there.)
Remus nods, draws his arms over Sirius’ bare shoulders. “Yeah,” he says. “Anywhere you like.”
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pissfaggit · 2 years
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I just gotta say. After watching tng and moving on to ds9, I can't speak for any of the other captains but. Any of the scenes with Picard that are supposed to be moving or inspiring or emotional- ain't shit compared to the fucking HEART that Avery Brooks put into playing Captain Sisko
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stinkrascal · 2 years
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my writing hot take is that i hate it when writers give their characters names with too much significance. if the name sounds normal to the character’s universe thats one thing, idc about that and i think it can be a neat easter egg for those who care enough to look up that kinda stuff. but if your character lives in a universe of beths, susans, marys, and henrys and then their name is icarus because you’re writing about their hubris being their ultimate downfall in my head im just like who would name their child icarus except for crunchy suburban yoga moms who banned sunscreen and toothpaste from their household because it has too many toxins in it
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demigirl-demigod · 2 years
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Soooo I have a crush (for the first time in 5 years) on a guy (for the first time in 7 years) and he’s another interpreter that I work with twice a week at the college where I work.
So I just accepted a job as a substitute interpreter for a class tomorrow morning and I hate to admit it but it was half because I knew he interprets that class so there was a 50% chance that I’d be working with him (it’s a 3 hour class so two interpreters are assigned and take turns, so either him or his team called out).
Wellll I know I’ve got it bad because I got the confirmation and I’m going to be interpreting with his team and I am…very disappointed. I hate this, crushes are so stupid. And like, why do I care so much ugh. But also, like this guy is the reason I’m getting my life together because he told me I was anal retentive (not in a mean way, just as an observation, it didn’t sound mean in context) and I was like oh dang he’s right. I’m ruining my life trying to do everything right all the time and make sure everyone likes me and no one is ever mad at me and I could just. Not do that. And he also told me I was a good interpreter and encouraged me to accept more work in more different areas and figure out what I like doing and he can be brutally honest and he’s a really good interpreter so I actually believe him and so I’ve started pushing out of my comfort zone and doing more work and trying to be less worried about what other people think of me and just be happy all because I have a stupid crush on this stupid boy
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revengeera · 6 days
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congrats on your marriage and welcome back!! I wish you and your husband many many yrs together!!!
aw, thank you so much! that's very sweet of you to say :') i hope you're doing great as well, friend!
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zarameraki · 3 months
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⁺✩₊📨˚✧ 𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐢'𝐬 𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐝 ⋆。💵₊✩°
: ̗̀➛ tropes: fem! reader 𖥔 minors do not interact 𖥔 nsfw 𖥔 he's obsessed to the max 𖥔 ceo x assistant 𖥔 grumpy x sunshine 𖥔 she talks a lot x he listens a lot 𖥔 loved you for so long 𖥔 major fluff 𖥔 sexual content 𖥔 alternate universe 𖥔 nanami's first time 𖥔 you talk him through it 𖥔 close proximity 𖥔
: ̗̀➛ words: 5.6k
: ̗̀➛ notes: hey all! sorry for the inactivity. im got reality to handle as well. i promise ill be more active soon. the creativity juices are running on low fuel atm. thanks for all the love and support you have have given me. if you enjoy my work, please leave a comment, like, and reblog! thank you & ily. enjoy!
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Nanami couldn’t focus on the meeting.
He never could when you were in attendance, sitting off to the side, diligently jotting notes. His eyes flicked back and forth from the powerpoint presentation to the strand of hair bothering you despite tucking it behind your ear thirty-seven times.
Yes, he was keeping count. 
His dick constrained against his pants when you bit the end of your pen between your teeth, getting a bit of your red lipstick smeared around the tool. He wished he was that pen, with the mark of your lips on his skin instead. He even wished he was your tea mug sometimes. 
Jesus, something was terribly wrong with him. You were wrong for him. He was your boss; you were his assistant. Your relationship was strictly professional—has been for three years now. Three torturous years of admiring you from the sidelines. Three torturous years of hearing you yap about going on dates with random men off the internet. Three torturous years of chafing his dick in the bathroom every morning, noon, and night to the thought of you. 
Your scent, your breaths, your skin, your hair, your eyes, your mouth—God, he loved your mouth—especially when it moved and produced the loveliest sound he’s ever heard. He wanted nothing more than to print you onto his skin for the rest of his life. 
Nanami scowled at the silver-haired intern who kept side-eyeing your cleavage. If only it weren’t for that bastard. Firing him crossed his mind every time he popped up like a weasel, but Nanami needed a solid reason. 
“—that’s alright with you, Mr. Nanami?” 
Nanami’s attention snapped back to the presenter. What was he speaking about? Budget? Strategies for the future? Increases in revenue? Whatever it was, Nanami had one answer. “Yes.” 
“Lovely, we’ll go ahead with the renovations for our research and development department. They’ll be happy to know their resources are being updated!” 
Ah. Well, either way, he could care less. Whatever made his employees happy, he wasn’t afraid to spend a pretty penny. That’s why Nanami Kento was universally loved by everyone. Even his enemies—if he had any to begin with—would be his allies. He didn’t often put himself on the pedestal, but he does admit every now and then, he was a jack of all trades. 
“That was a satisfying meeting, wasn’t it?” you chirped as you both entered the elevator. Nanami caught sight of the silver-serpent catching up and jabbed the button to close the doors. 
Unfortunately, the intern pushed his hand in between and laughed in an annoying sound he called a voice, sending a twitch in Nanami’s eyes. 
“Oh, Satoru!” you greeted, standing closer to his side. 
“Boss,” Satoru said to Nanami, then turned to you, whispering, “Beautiful,” loud enough for him to hear. 
You snorted, waving a hand. “Oh, stop it. I hope the meeting wasn’t too much for you. Lots of changes we’ve made for the fiscal year, huh?” 
Nanami stared bored at the closed doors with the two behind him. 
“You made it easier,” Satoru replied. 
“Were you copying my notes?” 
“Come on, sweetheart. This is corporate. Not college. A little cheating hurts nobody.” 
Nanami heard your uncomfortable chuckle and clenched his fists tight. The word ‘cheating’ was a trigger for you. Your last relationship ended with your boyfriend of three months sleeping with your friend simply because she had more money and didn’t work for someone. Nanami was sure you’d quit and almost placed an offer to give you a proper role in the company, but you brushed it all off by stating how much you cherished being his assistant. He’d fallen madly, madly in love with you. He knew when he’d make you his wife, you’d be the boss. 
“That’s my floor,” Satoru announced. “Let’s do dinner soon, yeah?” 
You simply nodded. 
“Always a pleasure meeting the man of the hour,” the silver-ass said to Nanami before exiting. 
You stepped up to your boss’ side, sighing. “He just doesn’t know when to give up. It’s almost adorable.” 
“I believe ‘agitating’ is the word you’re looking for.” 
You laughed it off. Nanami didn’t think he was particularly a funny guy until he met you. “Satoru’s harmless.”  
“Will you, though?” he asked, clearing his throat. “Go to dinner with him?” 
You glanced up at Nanami, and smiled. He stared straight ahead with a tight tick in his jaw. Your smile broadened. “I’d love to,” you replied, finding his body tense, “but not with him.” 
Nanami slowly dragged his eyes down to you. Your blinks were slow, weighed down by the thickness of your long lashes. His eyes dipped to your lips, then back to your gaze. “Well, I hope you do with someone. Dinner is an important meal of the day.” 
He was an idiot. 
“That’s surprising coming from you, Mr. Nanami.” 
“How so?” 
You shrugged lightly, eyes twinkling. “I’ve never seen you eat dinner, let alone leave the office around that time.”
Nanami adjusted his tie, feeling a bit self-conscious. He hesitated for a moment, then decided to take the plunge. “Well, maybe we should change that.”
Your eyebrow arched slightly, curiosity piqued. “Change what?”
“Since you’re staying late to catch up on work,” he said, his voice steadying, “how about we have dinner here together?”
You paused, surprise flashing across your face before you smiled warmly. “That sounds nice. I could use a break, and it’s been a long day.”
Relief washed over him, and he allowed himself to smile back. “Great. I’ll order something for us. Any preferences?”
You shook your head, still smiling. “I’m fine with anything, Mr. Nanami.”
“Please, call me Kento,” he said softly.
“All right, Kento,” you replied, your tone gentle. “Thank you.”
As he walked out of the elevator, he felt a sense of accomplishment and, perhaps, excitement—an emotion he’d felt strictly in your presence. It wasn’t a grand romantic gesture, but it was a step in the right direction. Tonight, you were his, even if only for a little while. And maybe, just maybe, he'd find the courage to tell you how he really felt.
As the morning passed, he buried himself in his work, but his mind constantly wandered. Every so often, he'd steal a glance in your direction, watching you as you diligently typed away on your computer or answered phone calls. There was something about the way you moved, the way you smiled even when you were focused, that captivated him completely.
Around mid-morning, Nanami's concentration was broken when a male worker from another department walked over to your desk. He was carrying a file, but instead of simply dropping it off, he started chatting with you. The man was smiling, clearly enjoying the conversation. Nanami's grip on his pen tightened as he watched the interaction unfold.
The male worker leaned casually against your desk, making you laugh at something he said. Nanami's heart pounded in his chest. He hated how easy it was for others to make you smile like that. He felt a pang of jealousy, a possessive urge to step in and assert that you were his . . . though you didn't know it yet.
As the conversation continued, you glanced up and caught Nanami staring. Your eyes met, and you smiled softly at him. He quickly looked away, feeling a rush of embarrassment and anger at himself for being so obvious. His face felt hot, and he cursed under his breath, trying to refocus on his work.
The rest of the day passed in a similar fashion. Nanami found it hard to concentrate, his mind continually drifting back to you. He tried to remind himself that he needed to be professional, but it was a losing battle. Every time he heard your laugh or saw your smile, his heart ached with a mixture of longing and possessiveness.
The evening had grown quiet, with the soft hum of office equipment and the distant sounds of the city outside. When the delivery boy finally arrived, Nanami stood up and walked over to meet him.
“Oh, I’ve got it!” you said, standing from your seat and taking out your credit card.
Nanami tapped his card without a second thought; he’d always be willing to pay for anything when it came to you.
“Sir, this was going to be my treat.”
“Next time,” he replied. 
You smiled, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. “Next time, it is.” 
He led the way to his office, opening the door for you. You set the food out on the table, and for a moment, there was an awkward silence as you both settled onto the sofa.
Nanami cleared his throat. “I hope you like what I ordered. I wasn’t sure what you preferred, so I got a bit of everything.”
You smiled warmly, appreciating his thoughtfulness. “This looks great. Thank you.”
You began eating, the silence stretching between you both. Nanami felt frustrated at himself. You’ve worked for him for three years and he still couldn’t harness the ability of speaking to you casually. He wanted to make conversation, to make this moment more comfortable, but the words seemed to stick in his throat. He glanced at you, watching as you took a bite and then met his gaze.
“This is really good,” you said, breaking the silence. “I didn’t realise how hungry I was.”
He smiled, feeling a bit more at ease. “I’m glad you like it.”
You continued eating, the silence now less awkward and more companionable. Nanami stole glances at you, noting the way you enjoyed the food, the way your eyes sparkled even in the dim office light. 
When the last bites were eaten and the containers cleared away, you leaned back in your chair, looking content. “Thank you for this. It was really nice.”
He smiled softly, his heart full. “Anytime. I’m glad we could do this.”
“About damn time,” you muttered. 
Nanami blinked. 
You sucked in a sharp breath, realizing what slipped your mouth. “Mr. Nanami— I— I only meant that—” You surrendered with a sigh, running your fingers through your hair. “Damn it.” 
Licking his lips, Nanami shook his leg anxiously, wondering what exactly you’d meant. Were you wanting to have dinner with him for a while now? A platonic dinner? Or was it, and he could be entirely wrong, more? Were you perhaps . . . also rowing the same boat as him? 
“I should’ve extended an invitation a while ago,” Nanami whispered.
Your eyes locked with his.
“Three years ago, to be exact,” he continued, awaiting your reaction. “In an intimate sense. Or professional, if that’s what you’d prefer. I’m happy either way. Unless this has made you uncomfortable—”
“Kento.”
He stopped to catch his breath. “Yes?”
You reached out and rested your hand on his knee, your eyes moving from his body to his face. “Next time, like you mentioned, can I treat you to dinner at my place?” The caress of your thumb set him aflame—a tiny gesture, yet powerful. “Unless it makes you uncomfor—”
Nanami cupped the back of your head and pulled you into a feverish kiss. He moaned at the first touch, savoring the sweet taste of you, the smoothness of your lips, and the sweep of your tongue against his. He didn’t dare break the kiss, tugging you out of your chair and onto his firm lap. His mouth was everywhere—your jaw, your neck, your collarbones—as he deftly unbuttoned your blouse. He was a madman, lost in the moment.
“I’ll do it,” you chuckled as he fumbled with the clasp of your bra. “I didn’t peg you for an inexperienced man.”
“I’ve been saving myself for—”
“The right woman?” you snorted.
“For you,” he stated firmly, cupping your cheek. “The last three years have been agonising. Whenever you’re near, I can’t focus. Whenever you laugh, I can’t breathe. Whenever some other bastard tries to flirt with you, my sanity chips away until all I want to do is take you away. Mark you as mine.” His possessiveness sent a shiver down your spine, making your back arch. “That’s exactly what I’ll do tonight. Is that okay with you?”
You bit your bottom lip and nodded. “More than.”
“You always know the right thing to say.” He smiled against your lips, slipping off your bra in the process. Through the kiss, you guided his hand to your breast. Just because he was inexperienced didn’t mean you were. Nanami should know by now that you had a little zest in you. “Like this, darling?”
You sighed as he pinched your nipples, his eyes marvelling at the sight of your breasts. “Yeah. You can put your mouth on them, too.”
His lips latched onto your left nipple swiftly. Your fingers buried themselves in the back of his hair as your hips ground against his erection while he nibbled and sucked on your breasts. He left them sore and bruised, kissing his way up to your collarbones, neck, and finally, your desperate lips.
Nanami picked you up with one arm, using the other to swipe whatever papers were on the table onto the floor.
“There are important contracts in there, Mr. Nanami,” you said as he laid you back onto the mahogany surface. “Don’t expect me to clean it up in the morning.”
“You’re the most important thing right now and always,” he replied, loosening his tie and tossing it over his shoulder. “And you will call me by my first name in private.”
You raised an eyebrow, relishing the sight of him slowly exposing his torso, button by button. “Yes, Kento.”
He sucked in a sharp breath, shrugging off his dress shirt and draping himself over you, his fingers gently closing around your neck as he kissed you deeply. “It must be exhausting walking in a tight skirt all day,” he whispered against your lips, finding the zipper of your pencil skirt and lowering it slowly. “If you want, I can change the dress code for my favourite assistant.”
“I’m your only assistant,” you said, letting him remove your skirt. “And I like my tight skirts, thank you very much.”
“I don’t like how the men stare at your back.”
“Sue me for having a perfect ass.”
He shrugged. “You have my lawyer’s contact number.”
A laugh bubbled out of you, which he immediately stole with another kiss. You locked your arms around his neck. “If wearing tight clothes gets me incentives like this, I’ll do it every day.”
He narrowed his brown eyes. “I can’t control your wardrobe choices.” His fingers trailed down your left breast, making your breath hitch as he grazed your sensitive nipples, then continued down to your stomach and under your panties. “But I have full control over your body tonight, yes?”
You pecked his lips. “Absolutely.” 
Nanami wasn’t quite rubbing your clit—it felt rather ticklish. “You’re making a face. Am I doing something wrong, darling?” 
“Not exactly.” You found his hand between your legs and lifted it higher, pressing his fingers directly onto your clit. It was embarrassing how wet you already were. “Rub here.” 
He rubbed there, and you took in a shuddering breath, nodding to encourage him to keep fucking me with those skilled fingers, Nanami Kento—fingers you had admired far too often, especially when he performed pen tricks with them.
“How many . . . erm, how do I word this?” He looked conflicted as he murmured words to himself. 
“What? I won’t judge.” 
Nanami looked adorable when flushed. “How many fingers would you like . . . inside of you?” 
You pressed your lips together, holding back laughter at his reddened face. This was the first time you'd be taking a man's virginity, and you wanted to make sure it was as good for him as it would be for you. “I can take three.” 
“Wow,” he breathes out, clearing his throat. 
“I’ve taken a fist before.” 
His eyes widened in shock. “I’m sorry?” 
You laughed, cupping his face. “I’m just joking. I only wanted to see your reaction.” He was still flabbergasted as you kissed him. “But it is possible. I wouldn’t suggest it right now.” 
“Right now,” he repeats. Yes, right now. Eventually, you’d want his whole damn fist inside of you. “I’ll start with two.” 
“Middle and ring finger. Never index. It’s a rookie mistake.” 
“Of course.” Nanami relieved your clit and slid down your centre. “God, you’re soaking my hand, darling.” His words sent a ripple through you. Then his fingers slowly slid inside your tight heat, making him grunt. 
“How is it?” you whispered, massaging the back of his head while the other rested on the side of his neck. 
“Warm,” he said. “And . . . clamping?” 
This was entertainment for you. 
“Warm and clamping is one way to describe it. You can start moving your fingers in and out of me. Curl them, tap them, whatever you want.” Your tongue licked his upper lip, surprising him. “And if you want to blow my orgasm through the roof, circle your thumb on my clit. Don’t hold back.” 
And he didn’t. 
Nanami drove his fingers inside your pussy, unknowingly hitting your g-spot, and flinching when you cried out his name. The pad of his thumb rubbed your clit, or if he complained about a cramp, he’d used the mound of his palm, cupping your entire vagina. 
“I’m close—” You let out strained breaths, gripping his hair or shoulders. 
“Close to what?” 
“You’re going to make me say it?” 
Nanami appeared genuinely puzzled. “Close to your orgasm?” Oh, my god. He was genuinely puzzled. Why wouldn’t he be? You couldn't expect him to know about even the most obvious sex-related things. Part of you was excited to show him your vibrator and have him guess what it was. 
“Yes, Kento. I’m close to my orgasm.” 
He grinned with pride. Your heart melted, and you grabbed his face, kissing him as if your life hung in the balance. Amid his fervent moans, you came gushing down, drenching his hand with your release.
Pulling his hand out, he stared at your orgasm. “That’s quite a lot.” 
“Oh, my god, stop.” You covered your face, suddenly embarrassed by how much you’d come. 
“I’m sorry, darling. I meant it in a positive way. I’m very flattered. And thankful that you taught me how to please you this way.”
You caught him about to lick his fingers, causing you to shout in protest and pull his wrist back sharply. “No!”
“What? What is it?” 
“You can't just— You're all about cleanliness and stuff. I don't want you breaking your own rules for that.” 
Nanami smiled. “I’d break all my rules for you.” He went to go lick again, but you quickly pulled his hand towards your chest and wiped it on there. His face contorted to frustration. “What the fuck?” 
Your brows shot up. This was the first time you’d heard him curse. It was so hot. You wanted him to say it again. “It’s dirty.” 
“It’s a part of you.” He made a tch sound and retrieved his tie from the floor. “Give me your hands.” Taking your wrists, he bound them with the material behind your waist.
“Kinky,” you said. 
Nanami stayed silent, his expression now one of disappointment, his brows furrowed deeply. The confusion that once marked his demeanor had given way to a completely different persona. “If you won’t allow me to taste you from your hands”—he pushed your ankles up on the desk and sank between your legs—“I’ll drink straight from the source.” 
“Kento, wait—”
Too late. 
You broke into a chorus of moans as his tongue licked and lapped at your pussy. His mouth engulfed your clit and sucked on it hard, the tip of his tongue now swirling the little bud. His fingers spread your folds, as he cleaned every last drop of your juices, even probing your little hole that they seeped from. 
By the end of it, you were drenched in sweat, tears brimming in your eyes, your wrists throbbing from the restraints. Your body swayed side to side, legs trying to close him away, but he remained persistent in eating you out like a madman.  “Ken . . . I can’t—”
“Have you learned your lesson?” 
“Yes, goddamn it. Yes. I’m sorry.” You would let this man lick your whole body from now on. “Just kiss me already. Please.” 
He kissed your clit and travelled up to your stomach, each nipple, and to your mouth as he undid the tie so you could cling to him. His mouth met your wet eyes. “I’m sorry, darling. I got carried away a bit.” 
“No, don’t be. I loved it.” You planted a kiss on his cheek, making him smile bashfully, just like he had ten minutes earlier. “But I’d prefer someone else to touch me now.” 
His gaze grew intense. “Who?” 
You blinked. “Your friend.” 
He scoffed, running his fingers through his hair. “My— My friend?” 
“Uh, yeah?” 
“Have you spoken to him before?” 
You eyed his prominent bulge. “I’d like to. Touch him, kiss him, have him inside of me.” 
Nanami stared at you with disbelief. “No.” 
“No?” 
He gritted his jaw, fists at his side. You were completely frazzled by his response. Why was it that he got to explore your inside with his fingers and tongue and wouldn’t allow you to touch him? 
“That’s not fair. I thought you wanted me,” you mumbled. 
“And yet you want my friend,” he replied sharply. “Haibara will be disappointed to know that I don’t share.” 
Huh?
“Haibara?!” you shrieked at the highest decibel, jolting him. “Hai— Oh, my god. Oh, my god. Kento, you id— That’s not what I meant when I was referring to your friend.” How is this man running a multi-million dollar corporation? “I was talking about your penis. Dick. Cock. Whatever you prefer.” 
Nanami stood in stunned silence. His anger melted away, replaced by a sudden realization, his eyes darting upward. “Oh.” 
You’d had enough. If he prolonged your orgasm any further, you were going to get a female version of blue-balls. “Come here, you doofus.” You pulled down by his collars and kissed him, undoing his belt, button, and zipper for him. “Can I touch your dick, Mr. Nanami?” 
He nodded vigorously. 
You rolled your eyes, smiling, and slid your hands into his boxers, grabbing him. “Oh, God. I knew it. You’re so big.” 
“You knew it? Has it been on your mind?” 
“Ever since my interview. No one asked you to manspread. It drove me crazy. Made me stumble on my words.” You stroked him slowly, dissolving him in a sea of grunts and groans. “Be honest, did I get this job because you were attracted to me, or because I’m genuinely good at what I do?” 
Nanami pondered for a moment before responding, “Both?”
“Of course you chose the safest answer.”
“Well, you’ve managed my schedule flawlessly for three years. You handle all my emails, make the best coffee, and surprise me with treats. Yes, you’re undeniably beautiful, but it’s your heart that I’ve fallen in love with.”
Your hand froze. “Love?”
He nodded, a blush colouring his cheeks as he looked away. “Love.”
You cupped his face with both hands. “You love me?”
Another nod. “Since your interview.”
He had loved you for three years now. It seemed surreal. You liked him, certainly, but did you love him too? That was the question. Your mind had always assumed he would never see you romantically, so you held back from letting your feelings grow.
“You don’t have to say it back,” Nanami reassured you. “I’ve loved you enough for both of us for far too long. I can wait until you’re ready.” He kissed your forehead gently. “But please, don’t make me wait forever. I don’t want us to stay strictly professional. I want to take you out, make you my girlfriend as soon as possible. Eventually, make . . .” He paused, unsure where to place his hands, before settling on your shoulders. “Make you my wife.”
Oh, you were about to give him the best blow job ever. 
“Okay,” you whispered, stepping down from the table and taking his hands. “Let’s go on a date tomorrow, the day after, and every day after that. I want to be your girlfriend by next week— I’ll add it to your personal calendar. And I want dinner and wine at your place afterwards. Speaking of your place, I want to move in with you by the end of next month, or we can live in my shitty apartment— I don’t mind. You have to make me your wife next year instead of making me wait three more years. And I want two kids somewhere down the line. Oh, and a cat.” You grinned widely at his stunned expression. “Can you give me all that, Kento?” 
He breathed out heavily, nodding slowly. "Yes," he affirmed. His lips found yours. "Yes. I can. I will. I'll give you whatever you need." He kissed you without restraint, laughter filling his office like a contagious joy.
“Okay, okay.” You gently pushed him back by his shoulders and settled him into his seat. “Prepared to have your mind blown, Mr. Nanami.” Kneeling down, you kissed his thigh, tracing a path up to his hip bone.
His breaths came out laboured, short, as he watched your intentions with a hawk eye. 
You took him out of his boxers and prepared your poor throat. It was long and girthy, your fingers barely curving around it. Your tongue ran over his tip, collecting the salty, pre-cum leaking from there. 
Nanami hissed, gripping the armrests of his chair as he spread his legs wider. “Will this be painful?”
You looked up from under your lashes. “I'll do my best not to use my teeth by mistake.”
“I meant for you, darling.”
“One way to find out.” Your lips curved over the head of his cock, lowering yourself until his length was tickling the back of your throat. Nanami was in shambles already. You pulled back and licked him from his base to the summit. “You’re so warm, too. So hard.” Your hands sailed up his thighs, kissing his rigid length. “All for me.” 
“For you, darling.” He brushed your hair back from your face. 
Chuckling, you took him into your mouth again and sent a prayer you didn’t wake up with a sore throat. You could easily picture Nanami purchasing cough drops for you, brewing tea, and insisting you take a day off. The idea of him looking after you sent shivers down your spine.
Nanami gripped the sides of your head, his own tilted back as he breathed heavily through those flawless lips. Occasionally, he'd bravely look down and catch your gaze, then quickly avert his eyes to the ceiling. It was adorable how he struggled to maintain eye contact with you. You had assumed he avoided it because he wasn't interested in talking to you or listening to you yapping. It all makes sense now.
He's simply shy. And you're determined to coax him out of his shell, or even better, cozy up inside it where it's safe.
“The sounds you’re making,” he breathes out. The sounds you’re making, Kento. “It feels like you’re taking me deeper.” 
Because you were. You expanded your jaw, even hearing a little joint tick, and pushed him past the limit of your throat. You’d given blow-jobs before, but the guys were either too small, or too aggressive, leaving your scalp numb without any aftercare. 
Nanami was different. He left your hair and held your face, thumbs caressing your cheekbones as he struggled against his restraints. You could feel him twitch in your mouth, feel the veins pulse on your tongue, his sacs hot at your touch. 
But you wanted Nanami to come inside you. 
At the last minute, you drew him out of your mouth, the strings of your saliva and his pre-cum bridging from your lips and his tip. Nanami groaned at the sight, his dick twitch involuntarily, standing long and proud. 
“I want you inside of me now,” you whispered, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand and sitting on his lap. He pulled your lips in for a kiss as you adjusted his tip at your entrance, sitting down on it in one go. A cry ripped from your aching throat; a loud growl from his. “Fuck, Kento. Your cock’s filling me up.” 
“Such a dirty mouth,” he muttered, hand on your nape while the other guided your rolling hips. “Does it hurt?” 
You chuckled, head shaking. Your forehead rested over his palms on the side of his neck as you bounced on his lap, your movements growing faster. He was stretching you out, the tip poking your womb, practically splitting you in half. 
Nanami, on the other hand, was on cloud nine. You were warm and sticky, your walls cushioned and clamping around him, sucking him deeper by the second. He’d dreamt of this every night, jerking himself off to the thought of you, recalling the sound of your laugh, or your floral scent. 
Right now, his name slipped off your tongue and you smelled like him. Sweaty, breathless, moaning. This is exactly how he wanted you. Needed you. You were his assistant. His woman. His lover. If any other man dared to touch you, or flirt with you, he’d fire them. He wished he could kill them instead. 
You had awakened his territorial, possessive side, consuming him completely. If his parents refused to accept you as his equal, he would abandon everything and find happiness elsewhere with you. But first, he was determined to fight for you with all his might. Damn it, he loved you.
“I’m tired,” you whispered, wincing as you tried to mill your hips forward again. “Oh, no. I’m cramping up.” 
Nanami hated that he didn’t know what to do. He wished he was experienced. He wished he didn’t have to rely on you even if it was a turn-on when you dominated him with your words and actions. “Stop and take a breather.” 
You obeyed, resting your forehead on his shoulder.
He grabbed the globes of your ass and stood up, walking over to the couch and laying you down there. “Is this better?” 
“Yes.” You stretched up your arms then wrapped it around his neck, giving him a long, loud smack of a kiss. “Proceed.” 
Nanami chuckled, caressing your cheek. He thrusted inside of you, pulling himself to the tip, then back inside. It seemed to have you making those needy sounds, so must’ve been on the right track. 
“You’re so handsome,” you whispered, locking eyes with his deep brown gaze as he intensified his movements, growing faster and more forceful. “Yes, yes, yes. Oh, god. Ken—” You were cut off by his kiss, by his hand clutching your breast, pinching your nipple. 
“I love you,” Nanami murmured, kissing your throat and burying his face in the crook of your neck. You cupped the back of his hand, wailing moans as he pounded into you, flesh slapping against flesh. “I love you, darling. I love you so much.” 
“Kento.” You were feeling achingly sore, your legs losing sensation. He was rutting into you like a madman, and no, you did not want him to slow down whatsoever. “Kento!” 
He drew his face back. “Yes?” 
“I love you, too,” you cried out as you climaxed, your back arching off the couch’s surface. 
Nanami crashed seconds later. 
You were both a breathless, sticking, sweaty mess. Nothing but the sounds of your rapid hearts and shallow breaths could be heard. 
Nanami slid out of you after a minute of silence. He was glowing, golden hair damp with sweat and sticking in different directions from your hand that was running through it. He parted your legs and watched both your mingled release leaking out of you. “I did that.” 
You burst out laughing. “Thank you for letting me take your virginity.” 
He scowled at you, the kind where a smile creeped on his lips. “Let’s get you cleaned up.” 
“No, lay with me for a sec.” 
Nanami listened attentively and settled beside you on the couch, pulling you into his embrace. You showered kisses over his face, jaw, and the corners of his smiling mouth. “You said ‘I love you,’ by the way.” 
“I did.” Another peck landed on his lips. 
He swallowed, his eyes sparkling as they met yours. “Are you sure?” 
“One-hundred-infinite percent.” You fixed his hair away from his forehead, running your index finger down the slope of his nose and to his lips. “Say it back.” 
“I love you.” 
“I love you, too.”
Nanami sighed contentedly, his hand cradling the back of your head as he planted a kiss on your forehead. You giggled and nestled your cheek against his chest, wrapping your arms around his waist. “I know you said to wait until next week to make you my girlfriend, but is it alright if I make you mine now?” 
“I am already yours.” You drew hearts on his torso, feeling shy all of a sudden. You’d never been in a proper relationship before. But neither had Nanami. Which meant you’d both navigate your relationship together as novices. 
“Officially?” He continued. “Or I can wait—”
“Yes,” you said, craning your head up. “I’d love to officially be your girlfriend, Kento Nanami.” You savoured the relieved breath he took. How could you ever reject a soul like his? He was your favourite person. “But I’m still your assistant.” 
“And now I’m yours.” 
You laugh and rest your nose in the curve of his neck, closing your eyes. He hugged you close, lips lazily kissing the top of your head. “Get as much rest as you can, Boss Man. Round two is in five minutes.” 
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maddisandy · 2 years
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NEED TO STOP RBING STUFF ON MY COOKING ACCOUNT FUCK!!!
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livin4woso · 23 days
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Never meet your hero (alexia putellas x teen!reader)
Summary - After transferring to Barcelona, the reader just wants to impress their idol, yet no matter how hard they try, it won't ever be enough. Alexia only realises their admiration when they accidentally push themselves too far.
Growing up womens football was rarely spoken about but if you dug for it you could find the media and thats when you in 2019 stumbled across alexia putellas a Barcelona midfielder with promising talent to be one of the greats.
You quickly found yourself trying to be like her and while she was claiming more accolades and fame to the name putellas; you were climbing the ranks of Chelsea academy football fast and not realsing you too were making a name for yourself.
Then it happened at 17 years old. You had somehow managed to gain the attention of Barcelona for a 4 year-long contract after making your professional debut for Chelsea just 8 months beforehand. Now, this raised some spectacle across the Barcelona team, and the fans, as you were young, couldn't speak spanish, which wasn't an issue but to compete with the stacked Barcelona midfield full of ballon d'or winners and major tournament winners was where people wondered how good you were.
Even you wondered how you were going to fit into the midfield, but playing with your football hero who made you change your playing style to the one that made you succeed was another type of pressure. You wanted to impress her and not seem like some scrawny teenager who had been given way too big of boots to fill.
You had arrived in Barcelona and the club hadn't wanted you to live on your own so the only other native english speaking member of the team keira was happy to let you crash at hers for your first year. "Im so sorry for crashing in your apartment for the next year, man. i swear I'll be clean around the place, and you know, help out," you told her as you were unpacking your belongings into her spare bedroom. "Honestly y/n its fine. Don't stress about it, it'll be nice to have some company in the place," she said with a warm smile.
You had spent the week before training at keiras just to settle into the area and get a grip on the basics of spanish and some catalan phrases which wasnt going the best for you or keira who was trying to teach you. It was finally time for you to start training with the team after far too many medical and fitness tests the team made you do. Keira was driving you there, and you had started to feel the nerves build in your chest as it finally hit you that you were meeting your idol and many other players who you deeply admired.
You had stood in the changing room waiting for the rest of the girls and as you stood you were using your hand to try to flatten out the creases on your training top and pushing back the fly aways from your hair to make yourself more presentable. Meeting the team wasn't as scary as you had thought it would have been. Everyone was friendly and kind to you, greeting you with smiles and shaking your hand until you were faced with alexia.
She was rather stoic in her features, and she was rather intimidating, but she was going to be your captain anyway so you just had to deal with it "hi im y/n erm sorry about not knowing spanish yet im trying too." You said as you tried not to stare at the floor as nerves dripped through your words "its fine im alexia, you're new captain" thats all she said back to you and ignored your hand that you held up for a handshake you thought maybe it was her lack of english but you let it slide.
As the weeks progressed, alexias attitude never changed towards you she would laugh and joke with vicky pina and patri, yet when you were around, it was like she could flick a switch of pretending you weren't there or would just blankly ignore you. It had started to get under your skin as you had took extra spanish lessons to fit in and would spend extra hours in the gym to be better to get better so she could appreciate you as a team member.
It had reached international break, and unfortunately, you hadn't been selected, which you had expected, and you had to practically beg keira. You would be fine on your own for the next 2 weeks. That was a lie in those 2 weeks you had worked yourself to the bone training and in the gym every moment of the day and while you thought this would be a positive you had been neglected your bodys health by not eating enough; by this point you were only eating dinner and a few random snacks just too make sure you weren't going to starve to death.
The change wasn't too noticeable, so it was nothing anyone was going to flag off as unhealthy behaviour, which led you to believe you were doing the right thing to be better for alexia, for her approval. You wanted to prove you could be like vicky or patri or anyone else in the team because to you she was your everything and yet she only saw a teenager but she didn't release she was treating you like an outsider.
Alexia putellas the la renia she had a reputation and she saw potential in you she did but she thought a tough love approach would make you a better player yet she had took it to another level that she didn't realise. She never noticed the way your shoulders dropped when she wouldn't compliment a good goal in training or the way tears welled in your eyes when she wouldn't joke on with you like the other girls. She was oblivious to it until it took a turn for the worst.
You were working yourself into the ground, and it was clear you weren't going to stop until someone told you to. These unhealthy habits had continued but not to the extreme when keira had returned from international break. They were so subtle that unless you were looking for it, it would be noticeable.
It was a Wednesday training session, and after an early gym session, it was time for field work, which was your favourite time of training. However, you should have noticed it your passes were sloppy. Your movements were slower than normal, and you just couldn't hit the target of the net. Then it happened it was during quick fire 5v5 games with the mini goal 6 minutes on, then 6 minutes off.
It was just your luck that you had been chosen to mark alexia, and it was round 3 of the games when something didn't feel right. You looked to receive the pass from esmee to turn and move forward when all of a sudden everything went so fast you couldn't comprehend it. Your body became heavy, and so did your eyelids, and that was it. You lost all control of your body, and it collapsed in on itself to a bonless pile on the pitch.
Meanwhile for alexia it was the opposite it was like slow motion she was stood opposite you waiting to defend your play when you missed the ball completely and your body went dropping to the ground with quite a loud thud which caused the game to be stopped immediately. She was hunched over you, trying to make you regain consciousness by lightly shaking your shoulder. The medics raced onto the pitch. However, alexia wouldn't budge from her spot next to you she needed to know if you were okay.
There was a ringing in your ear which had changed to a mix of voices and random spanish words which you could translate but not in the disoriented state you were in at the moment. You tried to open your eyes, but it was like looking directly into the sun, and the only thing you could understand coherently was alexias voice "y/n are you okay?" She asked you, her voice laced with concern "mmh what happened?" You asked back groggily to her."You don't remember you just passed out onto the floor, " she said to you, and it had set panic of within you shit. im done for.
You had managed to be hauled to your feet with your body weight being supported by alexia, and you couldn't tell if she was doing this because she cared or rather it was captains duties. You were now sat on the medical table after being forced to chug a bottle of water and an energy gel. However, alexia still hadn't left your side while it was strange to you it was rather comforting. The medical staff had ran quite a few tests on you to figure out the cause of why you passed out. However, you knew why your body was physically exhausted, but you were also mentally exhausted.
"So miss y/l/n it seems that the cause of your collapse was your body being overworked and a lack of the correct nutrition. We've noticed you have a slightly decrease in body weight however you have been adding up to 6 hours extra training a week we have on record." The medic stated and well it wasnt a suprise to you but too alexia she was shocked you could be doing this to yourself. "Y/n this isn't healthy why have you been training so much extra?" Alexia states to you but unfortunately you couldn't be professional on your response you told her the truth.
"Because im clearly not good enough for you or the team all i wanted was you to appreciate me on the team yet you hate me. I learnt spanish for you i tried so hard for you to notice me yet everytime you see me you blank me or frown at me and i want to know how can i be better" the words tumble out of your mouth as tears threaten to fall down your face. And in that moment alexia could feel her heart break she was the reason you had worked yourself to the bone for her and she had treat you like a piece of gum on her shoe. "Y/n im so sorry i thought that if i was tough on you, you would improve under pressure but it was really wrong of me im so sorry I'll try to be better for you because its not fair for you" she said to you.
"Well it doesn't matter anymore i dont care about you and your opinion and im done trying for you because its clear i dont matter to you" you shouted storming out of the medical office where keira was waiting in the car to take you home. The ride home was a tense one as keira had found out about your unhealthy behaviour, but you didn't need a lecture as she could tell you knew it was wrong.
Since then alexia was much nicer to you however it had never been the same you hadn't seeked out for the validation of alexia you had realised that praise is awarded and not always found when looking for. While you had never found the love to forgive alexia for your rocky start to your time in barca she had found solace in watching you progress and prove that she knew she was right to recommend you to transfer in the first place but she wouldn't ever tell you it was her because you needed to become your own player rather than tagging along to be the next alexia putellas.
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kedsandtubesocks · 4 months
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game changer
MLB pitcher!Joel Miller x F!Reader
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summary: back from your first semester of grad school your parents lovingly drag you out to celebrate with an old family friend - but what unfolds there (and after) cracks you wide open
warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY MDNI, no outbreak/modern AU & Joel has both his daughters, dad’s friend!Joel, unspecified age gap (reader’s age is not mentioned but is a drinking aged adult & Joel is in his early 50’s), light use of gendered language, yearning & flirting, some light angst, brief alcohol consumption, masturbation (f), smutty thoughts, heavy makeout, spicy themes, allusions to smut (p in v), Joel’s dirty talk, one use of “good girl,” one light ass smack, reserved but soft!Joel, start of secret relationship, lots of baseball talk
word count: 9.1k (I’m sorry)
a/n: i know, i know another non-typical AU for Joel but I blame my sports girlie heart & baseball season so here we are lol big thank you to @swiftispunk for always putting up with my sports ramblings LMAO im so sorry Han ily, special thanks to @burntheedges @undercoverpena @tightjeansjavi @msjarvis because this truly wouldn’t be here without y’all - you don’t know how much you babes mean to me & I can’t thank y’all enough…now to you, if you’re reading this too I also can’t thank you enough ♡
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You barely have any solid memories of Joel Miller, even if he was your dad’s oldest friend. And if you were being honest, you remember his brother Tommy more who smiled so warmly and seemed to radiate warmth.
Now you stand before Joel Miller’s face on the side of the Globe Life field along with the rest of the Texas Rangers professional baseball team.
It’s a cool evening in Arlington. Everyone seems to bask in the weather that feels perfect for a night of baseball.
Home from your first grad school semester, you didn’t think you’d be going to a game. But your parents explained how good the tickets were, and that even if you didn’t care about the game, you could just enjoy the stadium. So with the promise of free food and a nice night out, you were sold.
Now you’re here.
“Yesterday Joel said to head to the side entrance, that’s where we can check in.” Your dad eagerly explains and stunned you simply follow along like a confused duckling.
The sea of jerseys sweeps you into a sports wave until you’re deposited in a new space. Your jaw almost drops.
The VIP suites sit at the very side edge of the field, and it’s like nothing you’ve ever seen.
The seats are incredible. Everything feels deluxe but comfortable. Someone calls out to your mom, and soon enough the rest of the Miller family approaches.
Tommy’s married now and his wife Maria is lovely, so is their baby. Joel’s daughters, Sarah and Ellie, are older. Time sucker punches you in the gut seeing how much time has passed, but you warmly greet everyone. You realize how long it really has been since you saw any of them.
You greet everyone warmly and appreciate all their surprised welcome seeing you back.
“Joel’s glad y’all were finally able to make it. Been talking about it since yesterday.” Tommy explains.
“Yeah us too! Just worked out that we all could come out and enjoy this with someone back home now.” You mom teases, but it’s warm.
Even though you were cities away, the new workload just kept you so busy.
You’re grateful to be here too. Even though your mind still swirls trying to grasp all of this.
You knew your dad’s friend made it big as a professional baseball player. Joel and his family left Austin to move to Arlington after he signed for the Rangers. So you rarely saw them. But with your mom’s job recently relocating here, your dad talked non stop about maybe seeing more of the games. It never really clicked that your family knew a professional sports athlete. Plus you never cared too much for sports to even look more into it.
Now as the game starts with a wild explosive and electric opening, you feel like you’ve slipped into another reality.
Then Joel’s entrance arrives, and your heart jumps out of your chest. The stadium erupts in a wild frenzy. The music for his arrival is western themed, grand and epic.
“All of this is because the league calls him Cowboy Miller.” Your dad explains.
The nickname was given to him not just because of his very southern twang, but Joel’s cold demeanor on the mound along with his wild style of pitching. All this led to him being deemed a Cowboy.
You understand why.
A serious air of power radiates from Joel while he approaches the mound.
Wearing a jersey with the number two on it, he’s older, more distinguished than the last time you remember him. Grays pepper his beard and the shadow of his baseball cap highlights the wrinkles flowing across his face.
He’s handsome, utterly gorgeous. His shoulders look broad, pure striking mountains, in his white jersey.
It’s like your mind finally registers and settles into the reality he’s a man, a full grown and incredible man.
And he really is incredible.
Even though he’s older for a pitcher, he still possesses dazzling talent. You even clap loudly when he strikes one of the batters out.
Your eyes never leave him. Joel sternly staring down the batter is terrifying. His legs look strong as he whips the ball fast to the home plate. Your eyes can’t help but flicker to his ass when he walks back to the dugout.
He’s gorgeous.
But cold reality crashes into you when your dad brightly yells. Joel is your dad’s friend, and that thought sours the bubbling feelings in your chest.
So you try focusing on the game, which actually turns out to be rather fun. The vibe of the stadium, along with the atmosphere of the game itself, is easy to melt into.
At one point someone gets a hit off Joel and he has to run to cover first. He’s surprisingly fast. Seeing him catch the ball, get the out, is so impressive and hot as fuck.
After that the Rangers switch pitchers.
As he leaves the mound, the stadium cheers at Joel’s exit. Very politely he nods, raising his hand in a quick goodbye to everyone. Then he scans the crowd.
It’s admirable seeing how he instantly finds where his family is. Joel’s roughed face melts soft with a small crooked grin hearing the applause they give him. He even spots your dad proudly cheering.
Joel’s eyes then lock with yours. Still walking towards the dugout, his face stays on you while his focus narrows in a cloudy confusion like he’s trying to recognize you.
Then his eyes go wide as realization sinks in.
You weakly grin back. It’s all you can do before Joel is fully gone from your line sight. Your heart thumps erratically within its cage.
The Rangers unfortunately lose by three. Once the game ends, you decide to swing by the merch store.
“Guess the game made you a fan huh?” You mom perks up noticing you eyeing the jerseys.
You shrug easily with an eased grin.
After this the Rangers have a five game stretch at home.
You only know because after the game you check for all things about the team, about Joel. You haven’t brought yourself to look at any videos of Joel yet. But you did discover from the team's instagram that he has one too.
Early the next morning, still lounging in bed, you scroll through Joel’s instagram page. It seems very professional, like it’s run by a social media manager primarily using it to promote Joel without being too personal.
You’re not paying attention, still a bit too focused on your phone, when a knock comes at the door.
Your face scrunches up confused. Then terror sucker punches you when you see who’s at the door.
No way.
Opening the door Joel stares at you, but this time wearing striking thick black rimmed glasses. They make him incredibly distinguished. Instead of seeming like a professional baseball player you’re reminded of a studious professor. And without a baseball cap on, you’re given sight of his soft glorious curls and the light gray streaks dancing among them.
He’s knockout beautiful.
Of course, you’re still in your mismatched lounge clothes and barely look like you’ve left bed.
He says your name, greeting you with a curt nod. You swiftly greet him with an awkward hello.
“Are you going for like a Clark Kent thing?” You blurt before you can stop yourself.
Joel’s face scrunches up as he sighs.
“Gotta take a break from my contacts s’all.” He admits with a grumpy reply.
But it’s his thick twang, the familiar southern accent - that sweeps you breathless.
“How do they even let you pitch?” You lightly tease, and
Joel rolls his eyes.
“Good to see ya too.” He rumbles, finally greeting you.
Now realizing he’s still standing in your doorway, you let him in.
Joel explains how he wanted to come by, visit your folks, catch up, and thank them for getting to stop by.
You’re the one early thanking him.
“The tickets were incredible. And you did amazing the other night.” You add sincerely.
“Oh, yeah thanks. Glad we won.” Joel nods.
“So they let you just roam around?” You ask slightly stunned still seeing him here in your family kitchen.
Joel scoffs. “Ain’t gotta be at the stadium till later.”
“So, was uh…surprised to see ya at the game.” His tone now reeks of trying to just make small talk.
Weakly you grin back explaining it was a nice change from your days on campus.
“So…back from school, huh.” That awkward thick small talk tone of his gets worse especially as he asks how’s it going and what you’re doing.
For being a talented professional pitcher, right now he simply seems like just some guy…
Just your dad’s pal.
The thought brings a strange acidic taste in your mouth.
You explain school is going good and how you’re here just visiting until the next semester starts up again.
Politely he asks what you’re going to school for. You tell him about your program, explaining all the classes you’re taking and even about the undergrad classes you help TA for.
Joel nods, quiet. You wonder if this sounds boring to a man who professionally plays baseball everyday.
“You’re damn smart.” He then whistles low, and his compliment jumpstarts your heart.
“Haven’t read a book since… shit can’t even remember when.” Joel muses.
“What? They don’t have you take baseball quizzes for pitching?” You joke, but it falls flat. Joel just gives you a dull look.
However his lips twitch faintly, like he’s fighting a grin, and it makes you grin.
“Though, I’ve heard you could maybe work on your slider pitch.” You add.
From the clips you’ve seen and the comments you’ve read, that's the one thing others have commented on, along with how unbearably handsome he is. ESPN even named him one of sports top most eligible bachelors.
“Oh?” Joel’s eyebrows rise up fast. Crossing his hands over his chest, Joel turns towards you more.
“Suddenly you’re a sports analyst now, huh?” The way his voice perks up confidently, matching your edge of playfulness, causes something to get stuck in your throat.
“Y’gonna start telling me how to pitch too? Just like your old man used to.” Joel adds still with that same tone and even chuckles.
But his words slice through you. Swallowing hard, you steel yourself tight.
Thankfully the sound of the front door unlocking arrives. Your parents are home.
“You’re fantastic, Joel. Glad I got to see it live.” You tell him earnestly looking him straight in the eye, as if to stare him down and remind him unwavering you’re a grown adult. Even if you’re in lounge shorts and holey t-shirt, you try holding your head high with as much grace as you can.
With that you head to tell your parents Joel is here then quietly slip back to your room.
Eventually your mom knocks on your door and pops her head in.
“There’s another game tonight. Wanna go?” She offers.
You decline, explaining you want to rest and catch up with a few shows you’ve been neglecting. Thankfully neither of your parents pressure you to join them.
With the house to yourself, you now search for as many videos of Joel you can.
Even slowly starting to understand baseball at a base level, you realize Joel ‘Cowboy’ Miller really is spectacular. You hear about his time playing for The University of Texas and how adored he is by his alma mater.
Then heat crawls up your chest when you see clips of him drenched in sweat, heavily breathing, or even licking his lingers to help with the ball grip.
You quickly turn the videos off before you get yourself worked up.
This has to be just a simple infatuated infestation. You simply need to try to shake it off.
The last home game the Rangers play the Minnesota Twins and Joel isn’t pitching. You again decide to sit this game out. You just have to detox yourself of Joel Miller.
Until you’re invited to a dinner cookout at his home. You thought about maybe playing sick, but with how hungry you are, you see this just as an opportunity to get a nice meal.
Your dad casually mentions Joel’s house has a pool, a nice bonus. He just forgot to mention how huge the Miller house would be.
Though gorgeously grand, it’s still surprisingly cozy. In the backyard you spot Joel at the grill and it makes your head spin. The weathered old burnt orange Texas longhorn shirt he wears looks cozy and casual, sits on him beautifully highlighting his shoulders.
You slip into the pool hoping it will cool you off. But your eyes always find Joel who now laughs with your dad.
Joel’s eyes suddenly flicker to yours, catching you staring red handed. Immediately you sink back into the water.
There’s more people here than expected and you feel a bit out of place. After drying off, you decide to head inside for a drink.
The soft Texas evening illuminates the home in a gentle glow. The music from outside floats in a soft hum making the room feel like it’s underwater.
Ellie told you the house was free for you to roam and from the quick tour she gave, you caught a glimpse of something you want to see more.
So letting yourself maybe take another peek, you walk back to the small alcove carved in the wall. It’s honestly a rather quiet achievement exhibition compared to other grand trophy rooms you’ve imagined.
There are honestly more pictures of Sarah and Ellie, along with Tommy and the rest of the Miller clan, decorating the main hallway of the house. All of it suits Joel.
His UT longhorn jersey is framed on the wall. There are a few awards clustered together, a couple of magazine covers where he looks so dashing in his uniform.
But what makes your heart float are the framed drawings of Joel with a baseball on the mound that range from adorable scribbles to a rather good pencil sketch. These had to be Ellie and Sarah’s work.
“If you’re thinkin’ about stealin’ somethin’ maybe go for the jersey. I can always get another one.”
Joel’s drawl trickles out, and you almost jump out of your skin. Turning to the side he walks to where you are. You hate how exposed you feel just being caught in his gaze and also obviously browsing in his home.
“Nah, I was hoping for a World Series ring to steal and sell but.” You shrug playful, knowing now he’s gone to the Series but never won.
Joel makes a low hissing sound like he’s injured.
“Damn, y’hit low.” He chuckles low.
You grin triumphantly.
“Don’t worry. You’ll get a ring someday.” You say simply.
“Sound sure about that.” He replies.
“Cause it’s true.” You nod. “You’re pretty great.”
Even with your limited knowledge of baseball, it’s easy to see how great he is. Joel is incredibly talented, a shining star stitched in accomplishment. Yet you can tell hasn’t let it go to his head. He’s anchored by his loved ones, and it’s admirable. You even tell him that.
“I…thanks.” He stumbles for a moment, deep dark eyes a bit cloudy as he searches your face with his voice thick and rumbled.
“What game has been your favorite?” You suddenly ask, wanting to know more about him.
His eyebrows furrow and his deep eyes glaze over a bit distant, creating a face of thought that looks adorable.
Then he nods with a soft grin remembering.
“One of the first games the girls gotta go to.” He paints a picture of seeing his daughters, sitting with their uncle Tommy, wearing too large adorable Texas Rangers jerseys.
“One of the best games I ever played.” He adds gently.
He really is a rare beauty of a man with a gilded heart of gold.
“And you? Your folks talk about ya nonstop. Tell me about grad school. And none of that simple ‘it’s good’ crap.” The quick playful mimic he does of your voice makes you laugh warm and bright.
So you tell him about your favorite moments from lecture and the fondness you have for simply embracing subjects you love so much.
Joel stares fully focused on you. You swear his eyes twinkle like stars might be sowed right in his deep earth depths.
He opens his mouth, eager to continue the conversation. Until the kitchen comes alive with more people entering inside. The bubble breaks, but electricity still brews under your skin.
The next day the Rangers have a game at Globe Life Field you go.
Even if Joel isn’t pitching, you want to experience this world he loves so much. You’re however surprised to find Joel is starting.
Your dad explains how one of the pitchers planned for today had to rest. So Joel will simply be the opener before the rest of the bullpen steps in.
Your heart doesn’t rage wildly as it did like seeing him the first time. Now you feel almost drawn to Joel. You focus on his stance on the mound, so disciplined and almost hauntingly serious.
The Arizona Diamondbacks batter hits the ball solid. It flies straight at Joel, and fear sinks its fangs into you.
Until with fast reflexes Cowboy Miller catches the ball eased. You and the stadium erupt wild.
The Rangers win one to four. On the high of the game, you head to the jerseys again in the shop.
“You should get one!” Your mom urges.
Your fingers itch, almost begging you to grab the jersey that says Miller on it. But something continues to hold you back.
On the drive back home, you now see all the great reaction clips and memes of the game. There's a particular one of Joel catching the ball that includes a great western music overlay, like he’s a hero in an old cowboy movie.
Feeling brave, you send the reel to his Instagram profile. You even add underneath the message “now you just gotta work on that slider pitch.”
You send it. Think, hell at worst the poor social media manager will see it and not even give it the time or day. He must get so many messages anyway.
When you get home, you see the message has been read.
But also, a new profile has followed you.
JM_8712
The profile also sent you a message.
JM_8712: ain’t nothing wrong with my slider
No way.
This can’t be who you think it is. You message back saying this possibly can’t be the real Joel Miller because he doesn’t seem like the type to even know how to send a gif.
JM_8712: think ur so funny huh
The account sends a simple gif of someone rolling their eyes.
Then another message flies in.
JM_8712: ur dad get those damn nachos he kept bitchin about with Tommy?
It feels like one of Joel’s changeup pitches knocks you out.
Because it’s really him messaging you. When you even go to double check the blank profile just to make sure, it barely follows more than twenty people and you spot Ellie and Sarah’s accounts among those profiles.
Warmth unfolds from your chest, dangerous and electric. This is Joel’s personal private account.
Unknowingly this all kicks off something you never thought would have ever started. You and Joel start talking.
The messages flow between you and him, back and forth, at first just talking about the games. Then, when the Rangers leave to travel, the messaging increases.
Joel sends you pictures of the places he travels, the food he eats, the vacant stadiums he gets to enjoy.
You devour it all with a greedy eagerness. However it dawns on you that you’re sliding down a slope too slippery to stop.
For the rest of the summer you earnestly check your messages on the app.
One evening, on a stormy delayed game against the Dodgers, your messages don’t send through. The weather is getting worse in Los Angeles.
“They’re gonna reschedule the game. Storm’s not letting up.” Your dad comments glumly.
You just hope Joel is alright.
Instagram finally alerts you of a message and your heart jumps.
Joel.
JM_8712: sorry connections shit
Then he simply sends you his phone number.
You wonder if you’re seeing things.
Trying to keep calm you text the number a simple message asking if he’s alright.
When your text alert chimes, it rattles your brain.
Yeah im good thanks
Then another message follows. It’s a photo from the locker, bags packed like he’s ready to leave.
Looks like room service for tonight
It’s Joel. You’re texting Joel right now.
It feels like a step deeper into a current you never want to leave.
Texting seems to shift the energy between you and him, a transmutation you never could have imagined.
You text Joel good morning and he tells you good night. You and him bond over a love of music. He’s got incredible taste while also complimenting yours. You stay up late on game days when pitched and now feel your throat dry up knowing you’re getting to know the man on the mound.
The desire brewing more for Joel mixes with the summer heat and melts the days away. Soon enough summer dwindles away, and your new semester approaches.
The drive back to your apartment is a good couple of hours. Funny enough Joel is also traveling today for a game. Stopping for gas midway, your phone goes off.
You think at first it must be one of your parents.
But instead it’s Joel.
You scramble to answer.
“Hey,” his voice sounds incredibly richer and deep on the phone.
“Y’doin’ alright?” Joel asks hesitant.
That catches you off guard.
“Oh yeah, just finished putting in gas actually. Why, what’s up?” You relax more into the conversation now curious to why he called asking that.
Joel sighs.
“Sorry I just…your last text uh, it just got me worried.”
Now you’re really curious about what you texted him. It had been half an incomplete response you sent. Even from your side it seemed abrupted and strange.
Sighing, you apologize that you didn’t even realize you had done that. In the rush of wanting to get out on the road you must have just sent the text.
But it suddenly hits you. Joel called because he was worried. That thought rips into you with a ferocious rawness.
“Okay yeah,” Joel says a bit clumsily. “I’ll…let you go.”
“No, it’s okay.” You quickly reassure him. “How’s the traveling going?”
“Good, just finished rewatching one of the inflight movies.”
“Please tell me it was Field of Dreams.” You tease him with the iconic baseball film as you head back on the road. Just now with Joel on the phone.
On speaker, Joel scoffs echoing in your car all around you. You realize this might be a bad decision trying to stay focused driving while also talking to him.
“Funny.” His thick drawl is dry but so softly teasing just below the surface.
“Was some new movie Sarah told me to watch but…fell asleep.” Joel admits low.
Thinking of him asleep on the plane clutches at something warm and deep in you.
Yes you can admit how badly you want Joel, how you picture what his calloused fingers would feel like on you, in you. But you also are finding yourself aching for more now…
Like falling asleep beside him while watching a movie, or sharing a meal with him and teasing him over his dry sense of humor.
It’s dangerous falling deeper like this.
Especially now in a blink you realize you’ve been talking to Joel this entire drive to your apartment.
“Shit sorry.” He realizes it when he sees the time. “Y’should’ve told me to fuck off. Don’t gotta waste your time talkin’ to some old ass like me.”
He rarely comments on his age, and his words sink hard into your gut.
“Trust me… I’m glad I get to talk to you.” You truthfully tell him.
“You’re the one who probably has better things to do than talk to me.” You add slightly dejected. The words even sting your lips.
“Like watching Field of Dreams.” You quickly add some light humor trying to dispel your heartache leaking in.
Joel snorts.
“Definitely would rather chat with you than watch that.” Joel mutters, but his world electrifies your skin.
“I’m flattered knowing I can beat Kevin Costner.” You joke. When he snorts amused, warmth fills you to the brim.
Someone in the distance calls out to Joel, and you know your time with him is limited. It’s confirmed when he sighs.
“Gonna be landing soon. Ya make it to your place okay?” He asks.
“I did, thank you. And thanks for keeping me company on the drive.” You smile to yourself.
“Don’t mention it. Uh, glad you made it back safe.” Joel replies and his words make you melt.
You say his name quick.
“Can you just… Text me when you make it to the hotel?” Just to know he’s safe. It’s simple, but it feels as if the words weigh a ton.
A moment passes.
“Yeah, will do.” Joel agrees.
He doesn’t text you. Instead Joel calls you when he gets to the hotel.
“Saw a full on fuckin’ fight at the airport when we landed.” Joel rambles immediately, and you learn how much of a secret gossip he is. While Joel breaks down all the details of what he saw, you realize he wanted to tell you about this.
A light burst in your chest because you want to tell Joel everything too.
And when your next semester starts, you tell him all you can.
The texting stays but evolves into more frequent phone calls. Joel listens to you with a gruff saint’s patience. He faintly picks up the names of your professors, even the name of your roommate. At one point he even stays on the phone with you when you cook dinner.
Joel calls during the stretch of waiting at the airports, a few times after games. Sometimes he rants about his teammates, sighs about his frustrations when they lose or when he ends up not doing well on the mound.
While every inch in your body still hums for Joel, it’s steady now - like you’re slowly accepting these emotions fully into your bloodstream and part of your existence.
You adore Joel, maybe more than you want to admit.
During a rare night out with your friends from class, feeling nice in your favorite outfit, courage courses through you. After posting a few photos from your night out, you also post a rather nice selfie.
You pray Joel sees it. Then you get a bit tipsy, and it takes all your willpower not to text Joel.
But the alcohol burns in you. Once you’re back at your apartment, in the safety of your room, you pull up your favorite video.
It’s a spring training video the Rangers made of the team preparing for the upcoming season. The video ranged from showing the guys on the field practicing, to them in the weight room.
There’s a nice small segment just on Cowboy Joel Miller. Specifically he’s training with a few weights and when you first saw it, your throat got so dry.
Joel is drenched in sweat. The simple worn navy blue shirt sticks to his body, highlighting the tone of his arms and width of his shoulders. Curls wet with sweat stick to his forehead. His concentrated face is sinful.
But not as hot as the sounds he makes.
The grunts, the soft growls, the exhales he gives lifting the weights… they drench your thoughts with images of him fucking.
You’ve never done this before, never gotten off on his videos. You never wanted to fall this far.
But it’s so hard when your body feels molten, so wet hearing with his groans directly in your ears. Your fingers trail down to relieve the throbbing wet ache between your legs.
Imagining Joel’s sweaty gorgeous body pressed against yours, picturing his thicker fingers in you, getting to taste him on your tongue - you come incredibly fast.
The next morning a text and a somber guilt wait for you.
Joel of course had messaged you.
Looks like you had fun last night
So he did see your pictures. A blistering heat crawls in your throat.
But reality sinks in fast. You got off to Joel. You don’t want to feel guilty. You reason there’s probably others who have maybe done it. But it does quietly eat at you.
So much that you don’t even reply to Joel for the whole day trying to sort your mind out. He’s the one that eventually calls you.
“Y’go out on a date or somethin’?” Joel asks about the night out, and your mind sputters to a halt.
“Oh uh, no. Just went out with some friends in class.”
“Oh.” He replies quick. “Well, looked like fun.”
You agree and thank him.
“But yeah, no dates for me.” You weakly laugh.
“Yeah? Any reason why?” Joel presses.
Because you’re partially head over heels for him, but you can’t admit that yet.
“No one’s asked me recently that’s all.” You reply simply. You’ve done the dating apps, had the headache mess of ghosting and awkward dates.
Joel snorts. “Pretty thing like you? Hard to imagine.”
His words, like a change up ball that drops wildly in the air, disorient you.
“Trust me, it’s real.” You dryly reply.
“And you? You must be seeing some famous celebrity in secret huh?” You teasingly ask.
You’ve seen the ESPN clips of the beautiful reporters flirting with him, cooing at how handsome he is. He probably could snag a supermodel or other famous person.
Joel barks a hollow laugh of a thing.
“No, none of that.” He answers.
“Ain’t not time for that or…mainly…haven’t found anyone who’s got the patience for me.”
Your heart sinks.
“Wait, what do you mean?” You quietly press.
He sighs.
“M’ older, a single dad. My schedule ain’t perfect. And those that have tried to uh… pursue something haven’t always had the best intentions.”
His voice trails off somber. You wonder how many just wanted him for his money or fame.
A grim cloud seems to settle above you.
“You’re a great guy Joel, an incredible one.” You earnestly tell him. “Those who can’t see it don’t deserve you.”
“And I have to say it but…you’re a real catch.” You go for the obvious baseball pun.
Joel’s chuckle is a beautiful low gruff treasure.
“That was bad.” You can almost picture him shaking his head. “But thanks…same uh, same goes for you. You’re smart, gorgeous. Someone will come around to see you���re worth it.”
You’re drowning in his words. They feel too much.
He ends up having to quickly end the call with his manager calling, and you’re thankful for it. Because this blooming rawness in you feels like it’s getting too much, yet not enough.
Joel’s compliments are sincere. But many feelings tangle you up. It hurts, like you’re stuck in a rose bush trying to get comfortable within the thorns.
Then, the universe decides to pull you away from Joel.
Classes kick up and the workload piles on. You’re exhausted. It even gets harder to reply to Joel as swiftly as you did. You even miss a few of his phone calls and don’t even call him back.
The days blur together.
Then, one morning you find a text waiting for you.
hope you’re alright
You want to cradle that message.
When you call Joel, it’s like not a day has passed between you and him. Your heart soars hearing his voice again.
“So uh…” Joel begins cautiously, and you’ve never heard him this nervous almost. “We’ll be heading your way into town soon.”
That’s right.
Caught up in the semester you completely forgot the team would be playing the Astros soon. Excitement immediately rises in you.
“Hope ya can come out and see us. And if ya do, let me know.” Joel suggests and you swear his voice sounds shy.
The minute the conversation ends, you try checking for tickets. But they’re a pretty penny. You jokingly circle the top section, the highest nosebleeds, and text him saying he needs to try and find you from here.
He texts back immediately.
Don’t worry about the tickets. Just head to will call and let them know you’re with me. Got it covered
That might be one of the hottest things you’ve ever read.
Game day can’t approach any faster. Your parents even mention the upcoming game when you call to check up.
“You should try to go!” Your dad urges, eager.
A part of you has wondered if Joel mentioned you to your dad. You’ve kept quiet, not saying a thing about whatever this is with Joel, and you now think so did Joel.
You take a small comfort in that.
When game day does arrive, you head to Minute Maid Park alone. Your closest friend and classmate couldn’t make it, and neither could your roommate. But for some reason, you’re slightly okay with being here by yourself.
At the ticket window, you nervously say that you’re here for Joel. Like if nothing they verify your name, and with an ease slide tickets your way.
Not just any tickets, but seats right by the Rangers dugout.
Still stunned, but now slightly lost, you can’t help but feel stranded in the stadium.
“You okay, sweetie?” A lovely voice comes and when you turn, you find a sweet older motherly woman. She wears a Texas Rangers jersey and another younger woman stands besides her in the same jersey. They both stare at you concerned.
“You lost?” The younger woman asks sympathetically.
It must be that obvious. The motherly older woman politely asks to check your tickets to point you in the right direction. She perks up.
“Aw look at that! You’re sitting close to us! Come on, we’ll show ya around!” She beams warmly.
“Wait, are you sure?” You ask worried.
“Oh of course,” the younger woman reassures you with a smile. “The stadium is so huge and besides, us Rangers fans gotta stick together.”
She then winks, noticing the Rangers shirt you bought and wore for the game.
You find out Malinda, the older woman, is the mother of the first baseman. And the other lady, Casey, is his wife.
Kindly, this sweet family adopts you, guiding you towards the section literally right besides the dugout on the other side of the net.
You’re stunned in shock yet again.
Even though your tickets are a few rows away from the two sweet ladies, they reassure you you’ll be fine sitting with them.
It’s beautiful and comforting.
“So, who are you here for?” Casey asks with a friendly gossip like whisper. “These seats are for friends and family, and I haven’t seen you around before.”
But then she quickly reassures you don’t have to explain if you don't want to.
You with a weak laugh you’re here to see Joel, adding that he’s a family friend. Her eyes go wide.
“Oh wow! And he warmed up today too so he might pitch!” She says excitedly.
Joel had texted you before the line up was confirmed that he would be warming up.
Don’t know if I’m gonna get put in but just in case
Even if he didn’t, you told him you just wanted to be there to support him.
With the Rangers being the visiting team, they bat first. You want to root for the guys to get a hit and get on base, but you also already selfishly want to see Joel.
Three outs come and the Rangers switch to take the field. No sign of Joel.
In fact he doesn’t show up until the fifth inning, and it happens so casually. Joel simply walks out from the dugout and takes your breath away.
The team wears their cobalt blue jerseys and the color flatters Joel marvelously.
It feels like seeing him for the first time all over again but through a deeper lens you can’t explain.
You clap and cheer with pride when he manages to strike out the first batter. Then the second.
Two strikeouts back to back.
Joel told you back in his younger days he struck out seven hitters in a row. Now for him to get two, much less strike out the third batter, is something to applaud and admire. And the Rangers fans here, including yourself, cheer loud when the team heads back for the next inning.
“Cowboy Miller in his golden age.” Someone off to the side whistles appreciatively.
You don’t fight the syrupy fondness swallowing you whole.
“It’s rare that a more…seasoned pitcher like Joel still is relied on,” your new friend Casey explains. “But it’s hard to see why not. Everyone’s been saying like he’s almost found a new groove and still has so much power.”
He’s a force you’re terribly in awe of.
Seeing the whip of how strong his body still pitches the ball with a dizzying speed, how handsome he looks under the baseball cap, you want to savor this as much as you can.
Joel manages to get two more strikes out in the second inning. Then by the seventh they get a hit off him but thankfully, no runs come in. Cowboy Miller ends the inning striking out the final batter. You, and the other Rangers fans present, erupt wild.
He did amazing.
Laser focused, locked in on the game, he doesn’t search the crowd or even glance up and you understand. The game gets intense when the Astros manage to hit a home run in the eight. In the end the Rangers win because of an error.
But it’s still a sweet victory.
You relish and warmly celebrate it with your co cheerleaders for the game that made you feel so welcomed with them. You’re about to head up and leave, start looking for an Uber ride home, when Malinda calls to you.
“Sweetie? Aren’t ya gonna wait with us and greet the guys!?” She asks with warm curious sweetness.
You can’t say no.
The commotion sweeps you into a neon coated excitement. There’s a special area sectioned off, almost in a backstage-like section that connects to the entry way for the visiting teams. You’re surprised at how many others wait here.
The team slowly trickles out of the locker room and into the hallway. You’re hilariously reminded of a class being let out.
Then the world then melts away when Joel walks out. Focused on his phone you almost want to call out to him, but your voice gets caught in your throat.
Putting his phone away Joel finally glances up and spots you.
Even with his baseball cap on, you see his eyes widen for a fraction. Your body reacts on its own moving towards him. But he also walks fiercely towards you.
The world blurs away for a moment and then without even thinking, you’re embracing him.
It happens so naturally you don’t even realize what you did until you blink and it’s like you’ve been thrown into cold water.
Panicking, you’re about to pull away until Joel’s arms slowly wrap around you.
“Good to see ya too.” He says low gruff but you’re taken out by the knees grateful your body doesn’t give out.
He smells of sweat, of the dirt on the field, and something sharply Joel, and it’s wonderful.
Quickly you draw yourself away to proudly tell him how amazing he did. Joel waves you off with a gruff noise as his eyes refuse to meet you, almost bashful.
It’s been so long since you’ve seen him this close, been in the same space as him. And it feels so different.
“Alright, dinner?” Someone says, and when you turn, you’re stunned to see it’s the team manager.
Guess this means you’ll be saying goodbye.
“Headin’ home?” Joel asks when he notices you staying back once everyone funnels outside.
“Uh yeah, gotta grab an Uber first. Didn’t wanna drive down here and deal with Houston traffic along with awful parking during a game.” You joke, and Joel snorts.
“Let me take ya back then.” He offers, and you almost drop your phone.
You scramble out reassuring Joel it’s fine.
“Besides, don’t you have dinner to go to?” And where would he even get a car to take you.
“S’fine. Would rather make sure you get home safe anyway.” He then tells you to hang tight then goes to grab one of the rental cars the team has on ready.
Because of course they do.
Your blood hums wild knowing Joel is taking you home, that you’re going to be alone with him. Even in this glimmering dusted dream you still want to tell Malinda and Casey goodbye and thanks for treating you so kindly.
You wish them well and even welcome their warm goodbye hug.
“Wish you could come to dinner!” Casey frowns.
“Maybe next time.” Her mother in law says bright.
Next time.
“Yes hope to see you at more games.” Casey grins and the possibility bubbles iridescent in you.
With a goodbye to them you wait for Joel. There are still a few others of the wives or girlfriends hanging around while the team sorts out where to go.
You haven’t turned to give them any attention. However something crawls on your skin like you’re hyper aware of being watched.
“Did you see how she hugged him? Probably just using him, poor Joel.” One of them whispers.
“She’s not even that pretty.” Another one giggles.
“Oh then you know he’s maybe just using her then! And if that’s the case then good for Joel.” The other replies with a searing joke that makes your stomach sick.
Joel returns, keys in his hand. “Ready to go?”
You weakly grin back.
You should be basking in this moment of finally getting to be alone with Joel, of getting to see him drive you around. Once in the car he took off his cap allowing you sight of his soft hair. The darkness of the car, the warmth of the city lights flickering by, all coat him glorious. Yet those comments from earlier fester poisonous and sour any hope of enjoying this.
You stay rather quiet while giving him directions to your place.
Joel however is surprisingly talkative.
“So you’ll have to give me recommendations of places to go around here.” His voice even sounds just traces softer, higher almost - like he’s happy being here.
And it kills you.
“Y’seem quiet, you okay?” He notices it of course, ever aware.
“Yeah, just a bit tired. Didn’t know the game would take that much outta me.” You lie.
Eventually you arrive at your apartment complex.
“Your place is nice.” Joel admires as he helps you out of the car like the Texan gentleman he is. He even follows you to your door.
You graciously thank him again for this night and for taking you home.
“You sure you’re okay?” He asks again.
You walk a few steps away from him. The night all around is still quiet, feels soupy with how much hangs in you.
You refuse to cry about this, don’t want to get emotional. If anything, you deserve to treat this like an adult.
“Joel…” you start cautiously, already hating the way your voice wavers.
“Yeah?” His voice stays steady, unbothered, but his eyes furrowing say otherwise.
“What…what is this? What are we?” You ask as steady as you can, but your tone continues to crack.
Joel’s eyes brow furrow and his mouth closes, tightening his jaw.
“Just…good friends.” He replies simply, almost cold. “Just showing my pal’s daughter a nice night.”
There it is.
Your soul deflates. So all the times you’ve felt like this might be something, maybe it's just been you wishing it would be.
So salvaging whatever dignity left, you nod.
“Thanks again, Joel.” You reply briskly and return walking towards your door.
He says your name. It stops you dead in your tracks.
“Why? Why d’ya ask that?” He asks, pressing firm and hard.
You turn back to him, and a deep scowl is etched on his face.
“It doesn’t matter.” You answer.
“The fuck does that mean?” He snaps a bit sharp.
“It means what it means.” You fire back.
“Bullshit. Why did you ask that?” Joel growls out firmer.
“Even if I told you, it doesn’t matter.” You repeat.
“Stop sounding like a fuckin’ owl.” His voice rises hard and fast, like a hand slamming on the wall.
It startles you, makes your eyes water and something in you shakes. Mainly because you know this is beginning to taste like the end. The smallest trace of hope is dissipating right before you.
You blink back tears, and immediately Joel’s face falls.
“Honey, I’m sorry-”
Shaking your head, you cut him off. Not even the sweet pet name he effortlessly uses can shake you.
Through gritted teeth you tell him to go.
“Not when you’re this upset.” He urges.
Through tears a sad water laugh escapes you and Joel’s eyes go cloudy.
“I’m realizing…I’ll never be anything to you then just your friend's kid, huh?” Your voice is waterlogged and you can’t fight it.
“You are.” He states simple and straightforward.
You nod, swallowing back the heartache boiling over.
“Can’t be anythin’ more than that.” Joel adds through mutter.
“Why?” You now ask him. Under the amber light of your apartment’s hallway the most frustrated cloudy look hardens his face.
His eyes scan your face then he steps closer towards you
“Don’t act dumb, sweetheart.” His voice rips out low cruel, slightly harsh.
You’re not and you tell him that.
“I…” the words you’ve held locked up so fiercely in your heart now sneak out from their bars to escape.
“I’d give anything to be yours, Joel.” You croak barely realizing you even said that.
He inhales, and his face goes taunt.
You wait for the sharp reply, even brace for it.
Instead Joel swoops in, kisses you wild like a sudden storm, and presses you against the door of your apartment.
Greedily, you claw onto him not wanting to ever let this go, to let him go. Your mouth begs him more to invade and consume. And he does so with a steady hunger.
The clamor into your apartment is messy, but at one point Joel cautiously stops to look around.
“My roommate’s visiting family…” you reassure, kissing his neck and softly under the side of his jaw with delicate cautious lips.
“Just you and me.” You whisper soft.
Joel takes command the minute you lead him to your room.
“Thought about this. Fuck, think about ya all the damn time.” He growls against your neck as he slides your bra off and runs a callous hand over your chest.
“Fucked my fist that first night you went swimmin’ at m’house.” Joel’s words make you whine and then his lips lick against your skin trying to savor you.
“Me too.” You admit through a whimper. “Touched myself thinking of you.”
Joel freezes.
“Tell me,” he says rather calmly, deadly almost.
Your syrupy lust begins fading away when you realize what you said, what he asks for, and what your answer will be.
Your lips and eyes shut close.
Then Joel’s warm breath, like a ghost, crawls against up your chest and tickles against your ear now.
“Come on, honey,” his voice is utterly decadent with a plea. “Tell me, please.”
You swallow hard telling Joel you don't want him to get weirded out.
He hums against your neck already starting to suck a mark against your skin. Your eyes roll back, and the embarrassment is quickly fading away.
“Promise, I’ll be okay.” Joel reassures you with a mumble against your skin.
So with a shaky voice, you weakly admit how you touched yourself to videos of him.
He groans.
“Baby, oh fuck, fuckin - shit.” Joel sputters out hard, like he just got kicked in the gut, and you’re worried until his lips smash into yours.
He devours you.
You’re swept into a tangled dizzying frenzy. Your clothes practically get ripped off as do Joel’s while he clutches onto you and licks into your mouth.
“That’s my girl. Knew you’d be m’good girl.” He says almost drunk and you’re done for.
You fall into the chasm with no hopes of turning back. But you don’t want to.
Joel feels like a god carving open your universe. You want to consume him and want him to consume you. He becomes your center of gravity.
In the aftermath, you’re left basking in Joel’s warmth and never want to leave.
Even though you were in his arms, Joel had to sit up to take a call and now scrolls through his phone. Your fingers trace his beautiful back.
You’re thankful for all the soft lamps you bought that now melt him into a dreamlike glow.
“Joel.”
He hums a gruff gentle noise that says he’s listening.
“I don’t…” you begin softly, then tell him your doubts. You don’t want him to think you’re simply using him for his status or money.
“Joel… you could quit or retire tomorrow and work with your brother as a contractor and I’d still always want you the way I want you.” Your deliciously aching limbs, the soft afterglow, all of it has you speaking soft and freely.
You never wanted Joel because of his fame or even because of the forbidden taste of him being friends with your dad. You wanted Joel for deeper reasons, some that have carved out a chasm in your heart.
You explain this all to him best as you can without rambling or sounding silly.
Joel sighs.
“Y’shouldn’t.” His voice is a hollow rumble. “I’m old, friends with your dad. We shouldn’t be doin’ this.”
Now a bitter venom spills in you.
You glare at his back, how his shoulders slump defeated while you sit up
“I'm an adult, Joel. And if that’s all you’re worried about then sorry it’s a shit reason.” You launch back.
Over his shoulder he glares at you.
“If…” you swallow hard. “If you’re the one who wants to leave, because i’m that young, or you really don't want this or don’t feel what I feel, then fine. At least tell me that.”
“But I care about you. And I want to make this, us, work.” You finish firmly, even with how much emotions clash in your chest.
Joel sighs again. His eyes face turns away now down downcasted.
“Didn’t wanna want you the way I do. You’re so bright, fucking’ smart and so g’damn gorgeous.” He softly admits.
A pause settles between him and you.
“Y’could be with someone younger, less complicated.” Joel admits low.
“Don’t want anyone younger or less complicated. Just want you.” You reassure with a soft steady mutter.
He goes quiet again.
“Used to not get bothered when I started leavin’ away games by myself. With Tommy married and the business booming, then the girls startin’ to have their own lives…I didn’t mind doing this alone.”
Underneath his words you catch it, his rusting loneliness.
“But then…these past few months…and now today seeing ya waitin’ for me…” he says clipped, like the rest of his words are caught in his throat and he can’t free them yet
Joel turns, and his eyes bore into you.
The silence stays as you stare unflinchingly back at him.
He doesn’t need to say anything else. You don’t think you have to either. Like a magnetic pull, it’s effortless moving towards him. Joel’s warm large calloused hand, seasoned from so many seasons of hard work, of pitching, cradles your face. You kiss him with every inch of your heart.
Even after spending the night, you’re surprised Joel hasn’t left yet. He even comments about figuring out lunch plans with you.
“You have another game today, Cowboy.” You comment.
The term makes his eyebrows rise, and the most coy smirk tugs his face making him look so charming.
“Got today off to rest, ya little shit.” It’s affectionate. “Besides my back ain’t what it use to be and after goin’ more rounds with ya this morning-”
In the middle of your living room you rush to kiss him.
The rest of the day unfolds like a dream drenched and stitched from every domestic fantasy you’ve ever had. Joel stands in your kitchen when you make him a quick lunch and you laugh apologizing that your fridge isn’t MLB diet certified. Joel steals your last saved snack after that joke.
Cuddled snug on the couch with him, you try watching a movie but Joel, so greedy and handsy, ends up fucking your brains out with his tongue.
When dinner rolls around, you order from your favorite local takeout place and Joel pays for everything. You ignore all the work you need to do for the week and don’t care. You’re here at this moment and want to stay crystalized in it for as long as you can.
But tomorrow is the last day before the team leaves to Miami to play the Marlins.
While showering with him, you wrap yourself against Joel’s back already dreading his leave. He seems to sense it too because his hands squeezes yours.
Against your shower wall he glides into you tender and slow, almost trying to draw out every inch of this.
Later that night, you try staying up but the day begins settling in. Your eyes flutter trying to fight sleep.
He mutters your name soft while his fingers run soft against your side.
“Hm?” You answer, trying hard to fight your tired eyes.
“Don’t want ya to think i’m ever using you, honey. You’re not just some young thing keepin’ me company.”
His words are simple, but they erupt so much in you.
Joel had been spooning you from behind, but now you immediately turn around to burrow your face against his chest. You reassure him and his arms tighten around you wonderful chains you wish never break.
But the next morning arrives.
“Gonna come to our last game here?” Joel asks while he packs up.
“Don’t know, I heard you guys still have that really old guy who might be pitching.” You say with a shrug.
His face frowns hard, but Joel moves to playfully smack your ass while you laugh. He quickly draws you in for another kiss.
You have class tomorrow and work you need to jump on, but you go to the game. Joel doesn’t play, but you don’t mind. Getting to hug him goodbye one last night in the shadow of the stadium is worth it.
“Text ya when we get to the airport.” Joel promises, secretly placing a soft kiss on your head.
That night when you get home you order not one, but two Joel Miller jerseys.
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rimunagenius · 4 months
Text
Only Angel — K.M
❝ words : 1.5k ❞
❝ warnings : RPF!! , suggestive , body worship , jealous!Kate , fwb theme ❞ (dk if i forgot anything, if i did lmk!)
❝ rimunagenius speaks : sorry this took a literal fortnite to complete LMAO (pls idek if this good :// )…anyways i have summer school bc o my fuck ass chem teacher soooo lowk might take a while to put other stuff out but i’ll try i promise!! ❞
| Women’s Basketball Masterlist |
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I saw this angel
I really saw an angel
Kate noticed you on the baseline at every single one of your home games. Your black and gold cheer uniform fitting you insanely perfect. Your short skirt and your form fitting top. You looked so pretty, so beautiful, so angelic, you were truly a distraction sometimes. The way you moved hypnotizing her whenever she wasn't focused on her team. 
Open up your eyes, shut your mouth and see
That I'm still the only one who's been in love with me
I'm just happy getting you stuck in between my teeth
And there's nothing I can do about it
It took about five months of dancing around the physical attraction you both had towards the other before making what was happening between you two something. You both had amazing futures set out for you, establishing yourselves in your sports. You were on track to become a professional cheerleader, NFL cheerteams already inviting you to camps. 
Kate was optimistic that she'd become a prospect in the upcoming draft. Deciding to continue to put all he focus into basketball. So why on earth were you both suddenly trying to pursue something that could be nuclear to your careers. 
Kate had been buried between your legs for the better part of an hour. "Oh my god, Kate. I love you." The initial shock in the declaration immediately set a new tone in the atmosphere that you two had spent months building up. 
Her lips paused the attack on you, eliciting a small sigh from your lips, now accepting the consequences of your own actions. "Im sorry, what?" There was no denying the cultivation of feelings you two began to nurse. There was no point in lying to herself that she didn't feel the same way. 
"Forget it, just please, don't stop." You squirmed under her gaze. Now growing increasingly uncomfortable with the look she seemed to be giving you, and now uncomfortable with the abrupt confession. 
"You know that I can't just drop basketball." She sighed, her forefingers pinching the bridge of her nose. The frustration that immediately began to build within your chest, at her action of dismissing your confession. 
"Alright, whatever. Forget about it, didn't mean it anyways." You sighed heavily, suggestively spreading your legs, signalling her to continue, foregoing any act of bashfullness and self preservation you had to give. 
"No, because we had this conversation. I need to focus on basketball right now. Not to sound rude but you're not in the picture yet. I'm pretty sure I'm not even in the picture for you're life right now." The short tone she took with you was something almost foreign. 
You didn't like the tone, rolling your eyes at her. Suddenly the small smirk you grew accustomed to in this scene, inching it's way onto her face. So over the awkwardness but totally enthralled by the way she manages to manipulate the situation to make  it seem less harsh than it really is, annoys you. She’s so good at making you forget about why you were mad at her when she has that look on her face. Chuckling softly, looking away to your left, you grabbed her blonde hair at the back of her head and shoved her head back down where you both were needing. 
The slight aggression and dominance you took elicited a gravel moan from the depths of her throat. The reverberation could be felt everywhere. You guys just couldn't help but feel the way you felt for each other. 
Broke a finger knocking on your bedroom door
I got splinters in my knuckles crawling across the floor
Couldn't you take home to mother in a skirt that short
But I think that's what I like about it
Kate didn't know what it was but the feeling brewing in her chest from the sight of you with another girl had her on a whole new level. You guys never put a label on what it was between the both of you. You guys just had a common ground.
Thats why she didn't know why she was pounding the living shit our of your door at two in the morning. Team outing at a local bar in Iowa City, invite extended to you from your mutual friends, turned into you leaving with another girl. She was your friend, deciding you were tired of your shoes, opting to go home and drink your own beer without people bothering you and asking if you two were single. Seemed like the most optimal solution. Until you realized that the pounding on your door signaled you forgot to tell Kate. 
Kate had felt the anger and anxiety build up in her the longer her fist repeatedly connected with the wooden door of your apartment. The dread of finding another girl in the apartment where she thought only you two seemed to find yourself in more often then not was unsettling. Mainly because she thought this was going somewhere but you just called it casual. She had you. 
"Jesus Christ, Kate. It's two in the morning, what the fuck are you doing?" You looked at her perplexed, the cold breeze hitting you from the hallway. You wrapped your arms around yourself, the crop top and the short sleep shorts you made yourself comfortable in now suddenly sounding like the worst idea. 
"Who did you leave with?" Is she fucking serious right now? You looked at her like she had suddenly grown two more heads. 
"Are you serious? That's why you came banging on my door at two in the fucking morning? Because you wanted to know who I left the bar with?" The animosity in your voice growing as she continued to keep the straight face she had since you opened the door, but moved on her feet in anticipation. 
"Yeah. Was she a friend or...?" You genuinely laughed at the way she was acting. Two nights ago you had confessed that you loved her accidentally, but truthfully, and all she could say was you weren't what she envisioned herself with in the future. Atleast not yet. So you both decided to continue doing what you have been for the last two months. 
"Like you care?" You scoffed, walking away from the door, letting her in. She closed the door behind her, kicking her shoes off, and hanging her jacket up on the hook next to yours. You walked through the whole apartment, knowing she’d follow. She did. You didn't say a single thing but just look at her while she saw no girl had been in your apartment. 
"She was my friend, Kate. She was in one of my classes and we came here for and she only stayed for like twenty minutes before she walked to her floor." You now stood in the middle of your room, a room Kate had been all too familiar with. 
"That's it?" Kate's brows raised, her body inching closer to yours. 
"Yes. I'm not easy you know." You rolled her eyes, unintentionally getting a rise out of Kate. For some reason she seemed to like when you had an attitude with her. "Don't even think about it, Kate." You looked at her, the knowing gaze her eyes held that your eyes were trained to remember. 
"Why not? You’re always easy for me." Her voice dropping and becoming faint as she slowly reached one hand to your waist. She knew you’d let her have her way. You always did. You were just equally as dirty and needy for Kate as she was for you. She couldn’t take you anywhere…she loved it. She got to have you in private any way she wanted.
"You're seriously asking that after you just stormed into my apartment thinking I was sleeping with another woman when that wasn't the deal we made. The lack of boundaries you seem to have." You sighed as her other hand connected with your waist, pulling you into her chest while her lips started their attack on your neck. 
"Mhm." She hummed softly, planting an open mouthed kiss right below your ear. 
"Kate, are you serious?" You were genuinely shocked that she just forewent her previous accusation against you, and suddenly thinks she'll get lucky tonight. It was slowly working, dammit.
"Why are you still talking, baby?" Her hands on your waist slipped underneath the hem of your crop top, her cold, ringclad fingers, slowly traveling the familiar path that brought her so much pleasure. Her eyes now looking into yours, she smiled before looking at your lips. 
Who were you to resist her when she looked this good? You probably should have but there was no going back after you connected your lips. It didn't take more than two seconds to have her slowly backing you up against the side of your bed, making you fall onto your back. 
You inched your way towards the headboard, you resting neatly on the pillows as you watched her discard her shirt. She got onto the bed, working her way from you bare legs, all the way up your stomach. The way she crawled slowly above you, ravishing you before she intended to tear you apart was so sultry and almost cinematic that you couldn't even breathe. 
Later on, the talk needed to be had. You both would have to unanimously decide to commit to one another. There was nothing casual about the way her lips traveled to every part of your body, with small chants of appraisal leaving her lips, ghosting your skin with goosebumps in their wake...nothing casual about it. 
"You're like an actual angel, baby. Can't get enough of you." Her lips barely articulated the words that she desperately needed to get off her chest, as they tried to kiss you everywhere all at once. You almost didn't catch it when she kissed up the apex of your thighs, mumbling 'mine' over and over again. 
In her eyes, you were literally an angel, needing to be worshipped.
She's an angel
My only angel
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