#sort of a continuation of my last one
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It’s yearn o’clock baby
#more face caressing fanart? yes#sort of a continuation of my last one#I’m in a Mood ok#plus I’m trying really hard to be okay with posting sketches#which is difficult bc I can see so many mistakes 😭#anyways this is a continuation of my hc of them secretly visiting each other#moicy#moira overwatch#mercy overwatch#overwatch 2#ow2#angela ziegler#moira odeorain#moircy
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I have finally finished O Segredo Na Floresta.
I have cried more than I thought possible.
And I fear I shall never be the same.
#i have discovered that however bad quarentena was - cellbit has tons more angst material ready to unleash when least expected#it was so so so good but my god - i have never felt more empty#you ever see a piece of media and think yeh this is gonna change the way i view certain things forever - yep.#but now i enter the ordem episodes that arent captioned and only have the youtube autotranslate - the final boss for my portuguese knowledge#cellbit#ordem paranormal#this post is sort of my proof to myself when i actually finished the bastard - this season was three billion years long i swear#and still so long to go#cellbit will continue to stab my emotions for many more hours to come!!!#it is very late at night and i am very sad. TIME TO START THE NEXT ONE :D#o segredo na floresta#enigma do medo#bro i need to yell at someone about the last like hour of the damn thing because i have many things to say. or maybe just cry some more#at least my portuguese is much better now lmao. I'll get to a point where i can just listen to an episode with no subtitles if it kills me!!#hopefully cellbit will be back on the qsmp soon to rip my heart out with a cute lil cubito delivering heart wrenching angst for some variety#qsmp#ok sleep time lmao
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The last Fishnet Friday of the year... 😱✨
Treat me ~ Tip me
#Treat (lingerie wishlist) me (amazon wishlist) ~ Tip (pypl) me (cshpp)#Oh my goodness!!! Last Fishnet friday of the year. How wild!!#Getting ready for a fun one ✨ gonna try and actually put some makeup on and get a look sorted 😎#Satans knitwear#Fishnet Friday#happy fishnet friday to all those who may celebrate 🎉🥰#I shall most likely continue fishnet Fridays in 2023 if you guys want that! Its a bit of fun#Fishnet tights#Freshly showered and in my chosen lingerie for the day. But taking it slow bc still unwell.#My new xmas slippers and dressing gown keepin me cosy
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the poll for how to arrange the brackets just finished with proceeding as originally planned winning!
so, without further ado, here are the lineups ^^
note :: songs with a * next to them may require a content warning. i'll provide specific warnings as soon as i have the time, but as of now please proceed with caution
main matchup bracket ::
alice of human sacrifice* by yugami p / fear garden* by chaa
magnet by minato p / romeo and cinderella by doriko
world is mine by ryo / world's end dancehall by wowaka
triple baka by lamaze p / the disappearance of hatsune miku by cosmo p
meltdown by iroha(sasaki) / luka luka★night fever by samfree
fire◎flower by halyosy / trick and treat by oster project
daughter of evil by mothy / dancing★samurai by kanimiso p
rolling girl by wowaka / matryoshka by hachi
madness of duke venomania* by mothy / alluring secret ~black vow~ by hitoshizuku x yama
senbonzakura by kurousa / outer science by jin
doubleganger by kulfiq / mikusabbath by utsu p
jinsei reset button by kemu / common world domination by pinnochio p
the fox's wedding* by masa works design / tokio funka by takamatt
heat haze days by jin / patchwork staccato by toa
six trillion years and an overnight story by kemu / lost one's weeping by neru
aishite aishite aishite by kikuo / echo by crusher p
setsuna drive by taki yoshimitsu / yoake to hotatu by n buna
a fake fake psychotropic by kairiki bear / therefore you and me by tadanoco
my r* by kurage p / i'm glad youre evil too by pinnochio p
chururira chururira dadada by kurage p / mkdr by deco*27
blessed messiah and the tower of ai by hitoshizuku x yama / 86 by dasu
law evading rock by neru / nakakapagpabagabag by dasu
sand planet by hachi / ghost rule by deco*27
monster by kira / hated by life itself by iori kanzaki
cause i'm a liar by mcki robyns p / honey i'm home by ghost
hole dwelling by kikuo / bring it on by giga
meteor by divela / seraphim on the ring by mitchie m
the court jester by thquib / casino by azari
king by kanaria / villain by teniwoha
lower by lanndo / phony by tsumiki
higanbana milk tea by vane / scapegoat by ghost
queen by kanaria / bug by kairiki bear
honorable mention bracket ::
electric angel by yasuo p (original), giga (giga arrange) / freely tomorrow by mitchie m
po pi po by lamaze p / go google it by wintermint p
black★rock shooter by ryo / bacterial contamination by kanimiso p
i like you, i love you by gevanni p / first love academy • school of true love by nem
(also a quick general note ! i don't have everything ready for a formal polished reveal at the time of posting this. i plan on updating this post with links to the songs and also a visual bracket when i have the time. they'll definitely be up soon, so make sure to check back in a bit for them ^^
i'll also make sure that reblogs are turned on for the final version!)
#vocaloid song showdown#sorry it's just a list for now i promise i'll update it and make it look nicer as soon as i get the chance :'D#i'll also add the playlists to the final post so those will finally be out soon too !#but for now it's just a quick little post to get the matchups out sooner rather than later since this is already kinda behind schedule :')#anyway it's still kinda bonkers to me that only one person nominated po pi po and electric angel#those songs used to be Everywhere it felt like#and unless i continually missed it no one sent in llevan polka :(#(to be fair itnisn't originally a vocaloid song. idk if i could fully qualify it bc of that but still shocked that it got no nominations)#oh also ! until i have the image finalized if anyone thinks any matchups should be tweaked at all feel free to lmk !#i was mostly judging popularity based on nominations and view count (reprints included) but it was hard to tell for some ???#like i remember a whole bunch of reprint channels getting deleted or privating all their videos and i'm sure that impacted some view counts#and rolling girl in particular has a lot less views than i thought it would ???#it's not a small amount by any means but it also seems to be on the higher side of the average for the final bracket songs#it was also unsurprisingly the most nominated song#so some of the matchups were a bit weird and wonky to put together fhdkfh#(especially echo actually too ? it got 2 nominations and barely made it but has the highest view count out of all the songs last i checked)#anyway all that to say if anyone wants to give feedback on the bracket pairings i'm open to it until i get the formal version up ( ^^)b#additionally if i missed any songs that should have some sort of warning please let me know fhdkdh#i added them only off the top of my head so i might've missed one#(the final version of this will have more specific warnings too. potential flash warnings as well)#EDIT :: changed up within 24 hours to up soon#i wish i could've had everything together within 24 hours but things came up and i need just a little more time :(#but i wanna get started on voting monday (february 27) for real this time ! no more putting it off :'D
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:-)
#I've spent the past week organizing in the play's wake - sorting and laundering huge numbers of costumes#some to return to those they belong to and some to come home to my costume storage room which had become chaotic over the last few#months#so a complete spring cleaning for the storage room became part of my task list too. Now the play's been over for a week#and the emails are starting to come in from admin about next year. As some of you know I did a lot of discernment this semester#about what next year should look like and I have decided a mix of continuity is best. I won't be working for my 'main' schoolboard anymore#but I will continue to teach and direct for the one program in the city (the one I did the play for) and possibly with a new home school#enrichment program that may go ahead this year if there are sufficient numbers. Otherwise I am going to spend a semester#tutoring and running workshops f I can get it off the ground. Then we'll see.#Anyway - admin wants me to get new syllabi in to them within a month's time so my thoughts are all in that direction!#I get to teach 19th/20th century Canadian history to the middle schoolers and Late Antique/Medieval Church History to the high schoolers!#Also direct another play and do a humanities course centred around an epic in the spring (the last couple of years we've done Iliad and#Odyssey - they want Aeneid this year but I am trying to talk them into another option. The Aeneid is valuable but I am not sure it's the#time or place with this group of students. The result of all this is that I am spending far too much time doing Internet research for ideas#and then taking breaks on tumblr - which isn't good for my eyes or mental health. What with the play and end of term#I fear I've been out of the reading habit. I'm still hyperfixating on the Book of Romans so there's that at least#but I lost the novel I was in the middle of and am not feeling so motivating with out books. It's a proper reading slump! I need a kickstar#of sorts. Feel free to yell at me that I should pick up a book!
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WHY DID HE JUST GIVE ME SHIFTS
#I SWEAR THIS MAN WAITS FOR ME TO APPLY ELSEWHERE AND THEN GIVES ME HOURS OUT OF SPITE#FOUR FUCKING SHIFTS HE’S GIVEN ME I COULDNT EVEN GET ONE LAST WEEK FOR FUCK SAKE MAN#LIKE YEAH IT’S GOOD BC MY FOOT IS WELL AND TRULY IN THE DOOR AND IM SORTED FOR SUMMER NOW#BUT ID/JUST/ ACCEPTED THAT I WASNT WORKING THERE ANYMORE#the minimum wage dysfunctional but regrettably endearing pub job continues ig 🫡#I’ve been there over a year now bloody hell#this is when starbies say I got the job and I have to quit my silly little pub bc the pay at starbs is better#I didn’t want to quit anyway but now they’re acc giving me shifts? diabolical#hella slaves to capitalism
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Still normal don’t even worry about it (Patreon)
#Doodles#ADHD#I was Very nice to my fixation - when it was fixated on the thing I wanted it to be lol#Honestly I wasn't even that mean about the two (2!!) other things it wanted to brain-focus on#Mad about it but in that dopamine way lol#''Can we please get dopamine from this thing and not those other things? Please'' ''Lol''#That is not an answer!#It is honestly still really interesting data :0#I've still never successfully forced a fixation but this is at least the second time I've continued a falling fixation#I wonder what the through-line is hahaha <knows the through-line#I was actually very resistant to fixating on the other things because my pride got in the way again lol#To the point where I didn't even write them down until recently pffft yeah that's how that works#''If I don't write them down then they don't count'' Uh Huh#Even if there are Some similarities to the last time I forcefully refixated there are still enough differences to make for interesting data#Like how the last time I had three in conflict did Not go well it was very rough on my brain - but this time was nice :D#Probably helps that the two-pair were kinda-sort from the same source so really I guess it Could be argued that it was just two in conflict#But I'm not counting it that way and since it's my brain and I make the rules that's what matters lol#The next set is one of the fixations you all saw the TV Guide for this week it's fine lol#The other - it's another video game but hmmm I might see about making fanart if/when I actually get to play it myself#It's very silly so I'm gonna hold onto it for a bit longer haha
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My controller's "X" button is completely trashed because of the time I was playing Rain World, last year...
#It's sort of wiggly like a loose tooth.#Unparalleled usage of the jump input in Rain World honestly...#I should continue playing it at some point.#It's such a good game.#It is technically a difficult game but I am a huge fan of being punished for being alive.#I need to finish the Hunter playthrough... and Artificer.#Artificer has made me better and more confident at fighting but that doesn't make the Metropolis easier.#I didn't really talk about my Artificer playthrough but I think the worst area was Chimney Canopy.#'Groundhog Day' puts it lightly. The utter repetitions... The cycles... Hah.#CC starved me so I was always one extra den away from... Whatever zone Pebbles is in (I forget the name by now).#It isn't just not being able to hibernate but not being able to drag a Scavenger with you.#I must have replayed the same day 15 times with slight variations before I got lucky.#A cycle isn't completely random. The same creatures are likely going to follow the same paths for that day.#So you can learn to anticipate certain things...#Kill a 40 Scavs in the long tunnel that leads to 3 different zones... Then grab one with high karma and get out alive to the canopy.#Then... spend 10 minutes going between tunnels as 3 King Vultures piss about looking for you.#Then... take a risk and ascend and go right as a normal vulture follows you.#Something something profit...#I have never been so happy to see a karma gate in my life.#Artificer's bomb jump is exquisite for the ascent to that gate.#Rain World#Since I recall my last adventure so much in the tags...
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sending laser beams to my professor with my mind. kenneth you said midterm grades would b up by this afternoon. it is officially TONIGHT and guess what? kenneth i would love to not be clenching my teeth in my sleep tonight. kenneth i will be sending you a bill in the mail. yes i know its probably a TAs responsibility but i blame you personally. i hate school
#i dont im having a lot of fun (genuinely) but it is often pretty stressful#did find out there are a few folks adjacent to my program doing zoonoses & climate change research so im very excited to chat w them next w#possibly directing my thesis towards one health. social epi gradually becoming less interesting#plus i think my strengths do lie in applying epi to biological concepts so. one health works there#my brain continually trying to get back to lyme disease :( sometimes i really do miss the east coast tbh!#not lying actually i think the number one thing i miss is the amt of vector borne disease research LMFAO#i do unfortunately kind of have a crush on a classmate so that's fine but whatever. grad school. men are nice to me and i lose my mind ig#need to go make out w a hot trans person i think that would solve my problems rn#but also it's nice to be so excited about someone deciding to sit next to me in every class :)#like wow how isolated have i been the last 3 years to be so delighted by like. active signs i have Officially Made Friends.#even if he does live like a block away from my dad and jokes every goddamn day like 'so i saw your dad yesterday' no you DIDNT shut UP#idk yesterday he sat right next to me in a class he usually sits w other people in and it sort of sent my brain off the edge and now im jus#yeah. sitting with this one. it's fine like it's normal. but wowie i do think it's my first time having a Big Ol Crush since (redacted)#a little scary for my animal brain i think but it's okay!#im 25 in like 3 ish weeks and i still get embarrassed about this stuff somehow? stupid.#he's just really nice and always really fun to talk to! i think i had to officially Sit With Myself today bc epi is doing a holiday party#and there's a baking contest and we were talking abt it in class and i was indecisive abt whether i want to participate#and he like fully cut me off and was like oh you should bake something so i can have some :)#and. well fuck now i have to lmao. IM SO EASY IT'S SO EMBARRASSING#good evening everyone. guess this is my journal now. anyway ken rice you owe me twenty dollars and i aim to COLLECT
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.
#suddenly occurred to me that I haven't kissed anybody in over a decade#im not altogether certain i would were i presented the opportunity#and im not altogether certain the opportunity would be granted me were i to continue using this ridiculous phrasing#but anyway like a lil bit :( on realising that#it was uhhh nice. y'know. but ive not been confident and/or drunk enough since then#and im not the sort of person to uh to do anything about anything so of course nothings happened. yknow#im not lonely or whatever i like my life how it is#but i do like kissing. and it's sorta a shame ive only got to do it one night ever#i don't have any friends in my city and i don't go out ever#loud = not fun‚ and i don't drink - which would take the edge off the not-fun-ness - y'know so i don't what did i say before#there isn't ever the opportunity#but never mind#anyway if there was id be too worried that yknow whatever like im very aromantic etc i don't want anything else to happen or whathaveyou#i overthink too much probably#anyway#what was i saying#basically kissing is nice and I sorta miss it#how can incredibly reclusive autistic fools get kisses without. like. any scary effort or the dangers of interpersonal nonsense#advice please#that last a joke#i do not want advice or anything im just struck by the thought and rambling#pffft anyway
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OKAY YEAH, MOGAMI ARC IN THE MANGA IS WAY BETTER
#No I have not finished it I am at the finale where they're going to fight#But HECK that last chapter??? Like I need to rewatch the anime again to see exactly what they cut out but Mob I love you so much#never change#Once I read the last bit expect more thoughts from me#One thing you can get right now is that the beginning did hit a bit harder but at the same time I still felt the same as when I watched it#But when Dimple comes through and everything that follows just hits so much harder??#Idk how to explain it I need to sleep and we'll see when I have the time to continue reading and then sort out my thoughts#mogami arc#mob psycho 100#mp100
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this is going to sound awful but I have not historically cared when a protagonist's parents were dead because it tended to be very generic angsty backstory for a shonen protag or whatever but the exception has been wwx I'll be like 'cangse sanren and wei changze never got to to see their son grow up god they loved him so much he would have been so happy with them' and legitimately have to fight off tears. and part of that is because they're charming, if one-dimensional characters, and I think part of it is how hard it is to watch what happens to wwx after his parents died because honestly it feels like that's where it all started
#you can name like two arcs in which wwx did not experience some sort of horrific trauma#it's almost ridiculous. this kid's parents are dead at 4 he's homeless he's fighting for food with feral dogs for YEARS#gets adopted into an emotionally abusive/neglectful household that he's still super grateful for because he's again#no longer a preschool-age child fighting wild dogs on the streets#gets thrown into a dungeon with his worst nightmare. sees his home destroyed and is personally blamed for it#gets tortured for MONTHS makes enormous sacrifices to win the war#abandons everything he loves to safe a small group of hated political prisoners and spends a year in the place that almost killed him#and loses his third family to their decision to sacrifice themselves for him#THEN loses one of the last people in the world who cares about him in the cruellest and most guilt-generating way possible#and all through that dealing with the corruption and elitism of the gentry he own shaky role in his society#and trying to maintain his autonomy and have agency in his own life#AND a painfully tumultous relationship with his soulmate who he probably feels like abandoned him#when people talk about the show taking liberties by having him commit suicide I cannot fathom where they thought his mental state#was at in the book. the two versions of his death really weren't so different#anyway he literally comes back to life against his will and the first thing he experiences is physical violence and verbal abuse#postres is MUCH better for him and things get sorted out but he still gets stabbed by his nephew feels rejected#and hated by people he loved etc. like it's so over the top it's almost hard to take seriously#but take it seriously I do 😔 my heart continues to ache#edit: AND he's a teenager. god as if it wasn't already bad. idk about you but my teenage years were miserable and confusing enough#cql txp
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i love ffxiv so much fr
#🌙.rambles#[ ffxiv. ]#generally i feel very deeply n that's both a good n bad thing#usually i don't really have opportunities to be idk as open or unrestrained abt it as i would be (in regards to affection)#i love fiction.. i forgot the word but yk it helps like. yk let it out healthily bcs i'm also rlly just a creative person at heart#WHY IS WEIGHT OF THE WORLD INSTRUMENTAL PLAYING IN MY HOUSE HAHA WHY R ALL THE LIGHTS OFF WTF#AGHHHHH I'M SHY OH MY GOD FUCK WAIT WHEN IT COMES TO ANY SORT OF LIL STUFF LIKE THIS W ANYONE AT ALL#MY FRIEND PLACED A MESSAGE IN OUR MESSAGE BOOK 🥺#this was.. oh my god last month 18th i haven't placed ffxiv much at all recently that i've only noticed now#THATS SO CUTE MWAHH i love my friends vv much 😭🫶🏼 ok but wait hermes OH NO I WAS GNA RAMBLE ABOUT HIM AGAIN ^^#AGHH I CANT CONCENTRATE WHY IS WEIGHT OF THE WORLD PLAYING..... IM CHANGING IT THIS IS TOO EMOTIONAL????#i love the songs i placed in the orchestrion so much#i might edit it sometime bcs uh 'from the heavens' is too. idk too strong for the rest of the songs i think#1) neath dark waters; 2) your answer; 3) and love you shall find - i love this so goddamn much btw fuck terncliff; 4) from the heavens 💀;#5) voice of no return (guitar) - my fav automata ost; 6) pilgrimage; 7) kaine (final fantasy main theme version) - too ethereal oh my god;#8) radiance!!!!#tbf actually 'your answer' & 'radiance' r battle themes too. along w 'from the heavens' though i'd say they're all rather elegent in a way#i rlly want to put 'apocalypsis noctis' somewhere.. i don't listen to it too often nowadays but it'll always be one of my favs.#& i rlly wna put 'dragonsong' :<< that song is v special to me with heavensward n all. the lyrics r so romantic n beautiful#'he who continues the attack' is so fucking good. i have lovely memories w apollo with the 'the measure of [] reach' songs hehe#'fragments of forever'!! under the stars w alisaie 🤍 oh my god i Need to put 'shadowbringers' n 'tomorrow and tomorrow' somewhere :((#'a fierce air forceth' & 'a fine air forbiddeth' from my favorite frontlines map. apollo n i always got so many kills n were rlly good ehe#'vamo'alla flamenco' dnc's one of my fav classes n. i love ffix. 'bedlam's brink'.. iconic emet-selch my man. 'the heavens' ward' GRRRR#it's so epic though! 'wind on the plains' n rlly just the other bozja n zadnor related stuff. sm memories. it means a lot to me#'tomorrow and tomorrow - reprise'.. cried the first time it played with alphy in around eulmore. 'dangerous words'; god i love shb#'the queen awakens' i love delubrum reginae so fucking much. n then 'endwalker - footfalls' & 'flow'.. oh fuck .#AGHH THE OTHER NIER SONGS TOO :(( N THE RAIDS. EDEN'S PROMISE AAAAA FUCK FUCK I MISS RAIDING SO MUCH#'hic svnt leones'.. the memories 💀 n the aglaia osts hehe I DONT HAVE. SCREAM FROM PANDAEMONIUM N IN THE BALANCE#THERE'S TOO MUCH SONGS IM EVEN ONLY LOOKING THROUGH THE ROLLS I HAVE HOLY SHIT#shiva n tsukuyomi n endwalker n the auspices n the primals n all the dungeons n the tribes n city states n EVERYTHING FUCK
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hi i didn't actually sleep last night but i will nap for now until my next clsss 🥺
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#HI. hello. thinking abt pjsk#me w aki/toya (so it wont show up in tags. the slash yeah)#it is like hey eres akito my bf and akitos bf toya! i love them.#i will put my prsk ships in my rentry soon :] <3#uhm i have like. just 2 hw today! <3#altho there's like... 3 grpworks i need to work on as well so wah <//3#i still feel kinda mentally terribly but i'll try to sort out my thoughts#i think it's. unfortunately best if i still continue to uhmm Fake It Till I Make It (???)#and bury my thoughts for now but one day i'll definitely have to confront them. just not now#aaand i'll try to. manage and sort out my thoughts so i don't overthink too much and have too bad anxiety!#i will uhm. just not ? perceive ?? aaa i am thinkin again i don't like this good night#OH I DIDNT GET SLEEP BUT LAST NIGHT WAS GREAT TBH#chatted w xiv friend big bro guy + twin so hooray :] <33 !!!
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Love ppl on twitter saying they cant take the content drought for the next two years as if a content drought could stop me
#my post#that sort of thing only gets me if ive been in the fandom for a while at that point#my fandom eras usually last around 2 years so im just hanging out for now!#and with st i know my parents are going to want to watch it no matter what so ill still watch the next season even if im not as into#the fandom#so theres added insurance#and i wont lie of byler is canon i will probably continue to be just as obsessed as i am now#also ppl on twitter: come to tumblr lmao#with tog we heard NOTHING from netflix for 6 full months after the movie dropped#got a sequel announcement after more than a year#and we havent had any advertisments except for tudum. which was this year. tog came out in the summer of 2020#well we had the comics but tbh no one really liked those and they barely counted
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here’s the latest scaramouche fic!
Stray Thing (4111 words)
Decades after he leaves the Shakkei Pavilion, the doll meets an unremarkable man. He lives alone, works as a deputy, and he has a habit of taking in strays.
#genshin impact#scaramouche#katsuragi#genshin impact fanfiction#my writing#it's a sort of continuation to the last one but you don't have to have read it to understand this one
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