#source: dream daddy
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Yelena: The Alexei I know isn't fit to be responsible for anyone. Including and especially himself. I once saw him drink an entire jar of marinara sauce for dinner.
Yelena: Guys, Alexei opened up a new jar of marinara sauce and drank it like it was a thing normal people do. It was unholy.
Yelena: And then I asked him what the hell he was doing, and he said, and I quote, "It's basically a smoothie."
#thunderbolts*#thunderbolts#yelena belova#alexei shostakov#mcu#marvel#incorrect marvel#incorrect thunderbolts#source: dream daddy
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Serena: Where'd all those cookies go?
Ash: They're gone. I'm sorry.
Ash: If it makes you feel any better, they weren't very good.
Serena: ...So you ate all of them anyway?
Ash: ......
#source: dream daddy#incorrect pokemon quotes#pokemon#pokeani#ash ketchum#serena pokemon#serena yvonne#implied amourshipping
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Henry: Lark’ly Oak-Garcia are you smoking a cigarette?!
(Teenage) Lark, holding a lit cigarette: Nope
#*ramblings#dndads#dungeons and daddies#dndaddies#dungeons and daddies incorrect quotes#dndads incorrect quotes#incorrect quotes#henry oak#lark oak#lark oak Garcia#source: dream daddy
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incorrect teen wolf quotes
stiles: "alright derek. we've been nice. help us out or i'm gonna go off, learn how to fight, and then come back here to kick your ass."
#teen wolf#incorrect teen wolf quotes#incorrect quotes#stiles stilinski#derek hale#sterek#source: dream daddy
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Kita: I've been thinking maybe you should share some responsibility with Osamu next year, Atsumu. Atsumu: The Samu I know isn’t fit to be responsible for anyone, including and especially himself. I once saw him drink an entire jar of marinara sauce for dinner. Kita-san, he opened up a new jar of marinara sauce and drank it like it was a thing normal people do. It was unholy. And then I asked him what the hell he was doing, and he said, and I quote, “It’s basically a smoothie.” Kita: Well, we could always consider Suna for the position of vice-captain, too.
#kita shinsuke#miya atsumu#miya osamu#miya twins#suna rintaro#haikyuu#inarizaki#source: dream daddy#look osamu might become a chef but he'll eat anything#literally anything
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Conversation
paco: hey, jodio?
jodio: yeah?
paco: something's been bothering me for a while.
paco: can you explain memes to me?
jodio: hm... which meme?
paco: ... all... all memes.
#the jojolands#jojolands#jjba jojolands#incorrect quotes#incorrect jojo quotes#incorrect jojolands quotes#jjba#jjba part 9#jojos bizarre adventure#jojo part 9#paco laburantes#jodio joestar#source: dream daddy
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Harm: Today was kind of a cheat day for me, ha-ha. I went on my morning run at 7 instead of 6 and I had a little whipped cream with my breakfast fruit.
Mac: I’ve eaten nothing but Pepsi and Oreos for the past two weeks.
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The Unplanned Variable: Did you get to eat all of the cheese your little heart desired?
Felix: I am a happy little cheese monster.
#the unplanned variable#felix millstone#the outer worlds incorrect quotes#Source: Dream Daddy#incorrect quotes
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She would fit in with the friend group I feel it in my bones
#our life#our life beginnings & always#cove holden#terry brook#miranda eckert#amanda#dream daddy#dream daddy amanda#incorrect quotes#fake scene#source: jessie
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me and who
#source: pinterest#pinterest#tattoos#matching tattoos#skinnnyy#grunge#hell is a teenage girl#girl blogging#manic pixie dream girl#this is what makes us girls#couple#me and who#me and you#me and him#tumblrina#2014 tumblr#2015 tumblr#lana del ray aesthetic#lizzy grant aesthetic#lana del ray aka lizzy grant#cinnamon girl#older guys#love#female loneliness#female rage#female hysteria#female manipulator#girlhood#girlblogging#daddy's good girl
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What do you mean this didn’t happen in game
Original dialogue: Dream Daddy
#ace attorney#narumitsu#phoenix wright#miles edgeworth#miles is damien bloodmarch to phoenix#but phoenix is craig cahn to miles#quote source: dream daddy#steel samurai#digital art#art#my art#artists on tumblr#wrightworth#gyakuten saiban#magisteel
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#hell is a teenage girl#daddy's good girl#girly stuff#just girly posts#just girly things#just girly thoughts#i love him#girlblogging#pink#im just a girl#i need sleep#girl interrupted#this is a girlblog#girly#manic pixie dream girl#tumblr girls#cute#pretty#2000s#personal#poetry#pinterest#pintetest#source: pintrest#girl stuff#girl stoner#girl struggles#girl interupted syndrome#hes so cute#hot as hell
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More accurate me and Lucien
#dream daddy sourcecall#i am ernest vega please slmeone hit me up i need more dream daddy sourcemates#dream daddy sourcemate#dream daddy source call#dream daddy irl#ernest dream daddy#lucien dream daddy#dream daddy#ddadds
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I made Nellie's dream visitor her fey warlock patron and ngl he's making me debate if I should romance the squid.
#also there are no consistent sources online about what King Oberon looks like in dnd lore#its just so infuriating#bg3 is the real dream daddy simulator#oc: nellie#bg3#king oberon
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Bigger in Texas

Pairing: Joel Miller x Reader
Summary: Joel won’t fit.
Warnings: 18+. Unprotected p-in-v. Size kink (seriously, don’t read if you hate big dicks / disgusting descriptions) Penis and pussy pronouns. Virginity loss. Age gap. Praise kink. Daddy kink. Joel ‘hung like a fucking horse’ Miller is a soft dom and also a good teacher. Competence kink (?)
Note: Somebody made a fic challenge to use penis pronouns, and I can’t for the life of me remember who it was. If y’all find them please show them this and tell them I love their brain 🫠
Update: @sp00kymulderr you’re a legend for this. Dick pronouns are engrained in my brain, and I’m forever grateful.
Word count: 2.3k
This wasn’t the life Joel Miller had pictured for himself.
The dead coming back to roam the world and eradicate most of its population, for one. The cold. Finding his baby brother way out here in Wyoming with a wife and a child on the way. The looks he was getting these days. It’s not like he’d asked to get mixed up with a girl your age. It just happened. And since damn near every-fucking-thing that had “happened” to him since outbreak day fifteen years back had been bottom of the barrel, full-blown nightmare territory, the second he saw a good thing fumble across his path, he’d seized it—you.
You, who were young enough to be his daughter.
You, who’d never seen a man fully before meeting him.
You, who hadn’t squeezed so much as a finger in herself.
But much like his past, Joel Miller was a sordid and sick kind of man, and he had the cock to prove it: presently weeping precum at the site of your softest, tightest hole, smearing the pearly-white slick through your folds with a sound so sweet it was nauseating. Begging for entrance.
“Oughta have a boy your age pop your cherry, kid.”
It was simple.
“Ain’t right havin’ a man my age all in your guts.”
And true.
The head of his cock made another wet, sickening noise through your folds, and as though instigated by the sound, your eyes flitted to the source. You smiled.
“Probably. But I want you,” you answered. Soft.
Joel got harder, and he hadn’t thought that was possible. His gaze joined yours, and the sight nearly finished him.
Beneath him, your legs had spread wider, showcasing that perfectly glistening seam alongside the head of his cock. He looked huge. Or you looked small. Or perhaps it was both, and he was old, and he really shouldn’t be doing this at all, but then his hips stuttered a bit and his length pushed in. Joel hissed and seized the headboard.
It wouldn’t even go in. The tip just stretched the rim.
“Baby, fuck—” Joel whimpered.
“He’s so big.”
Three little words from your lips, and it almost did him in.
Again.
You wriggled your hips and flashed another happy grin.
“He wants in, daddy. I can feel him pulsin’ like I am.”
You volleyed a look up to Joel as if to say, ‘So that means we’re ready, right? Will you let me have him?’
And, strangled by guilt as he was, Joel couldn’t resist.
He let his big, bulbous, leaking head sink in the tiniest bit, and he let out a groan. Your walls were so tight. This was him, too—his tip was oversized, just like the rest of him—and when it notched in an inch, Joel could see the pain flash quick in your eyes. His hips moved to retreat.
But then your heels were lifting and digging in his ass, and though strained, your voice made it out, weakly:
“Don’t, daddy. I want him.”
Joel couldn’t dream of refusing.
And his vision blurred more at that word, him.
“I-I know. He wants you too, baby—”
Another quarter-inch.
“—so, so bad.”
“Daddy!”
Joel had to blink to try and wake from his daze. His tip was so warm, hugged so perfect and snug and wet, that he didn’t even realize that was all that fit. He was stuck.
You whimpered again.
“‘S’too big, daddy. Just make him go in.”
Your eyes rolled with indignation and overwhelming pleasure alike, and your hips squirmed again. This time, you tried to nudge him in deeper, but your body simply wouldn’t budge; you’d reached the widest part of him.
“Honey, it’s—”
“Hurtin’! I need you inside me.” you cried, impatient.
“Just takes a little time to get there, darlin’—”
“Well, get to it, then. A tip ain’t enough.”
Joel’s face flushed. He might’ve been forced to bite back a laugh under any other circumstances, but this was your virginity. His bed. Your naked bodies, together, tonight.
He wasn’t about to rush it now and fuck everything up.
“This tip’s about to paint your pretty insides white and make you wait til next week to try again if you keep it up.”
That made you go still.
You shook your head while Joel released the headboard from his grip and took your hip in it instead. He grunted.
“Sweet pea, you gotta see—” he resumed, voice low, “—it won’t feel good for you or me if I just…push right in.”
You sighed, feeling his hold tighten.
“Tongue and fingers only do so much. You gotta learn.”
You whined, digging your feet in deeper when his tip drew back to your entrance. Looking a bit squeamish.
“Be brave…and patient for me.”
From the look in your eyes, Joel could tell you probably hated him right now. That was just fine. He adjusted his hips to a more comfortable place, and then he pinched your hip bone. He nudged you back, and he let you wait.
Then, right when you opened your mouth, he sank in.
Joel thrusted with only his tip, the size of a small lime, and he fucked your hole gently. Back and forth. Shallow.
It did enough. You squeezed both his forearms.
“Oh, daddy.” Your bottom lip trembled as you said it.
With his free hand, Joel smoothed your hair back.
“Yeah, what is it, baby?” he murmured, dulcet as ever, “Thought you said the tip ain’t enough for you, sugar.”
His words came slow. His strokes were delivered quick, though tenderly. Your brain appeared to be in a fog, or a trance, as your chin dipped down toward your chest, and you watched him breach the first inch of you repeatedly.
“Curious little thing.” Joel couldn’t fight the chuckle now.
“He’s so…” you trailed off.
You squeezed his arms, and he squeezed your hip back. He let you watch him fuck you with only his tip, and when your head began to tilt back from the strain, he reached up with his other hand and held the back of your neck. He felt you clench at that, and you both groaned.
“So…big,” you finished, eyes glazed.
“I know.”
This went on for the longest time: Joel stretching the first precious inch of your pussy with the head of himself, you watching and breathing deeply, whimpering occasionally, and him holding at the nape of your neck like a softer touch might lose you to him forever. Was this teaching? When you clenched again, he reckoned it was.
“That’s it, honey. Watch her swallow me.”
“Stretches real pretty for the tip, doesn’t she?”
“Bet she can’t even fit another inch of this cock.”
Suddenly, your head was jerking up under his hold.
Eyes flaring with a hot, juvenile kind of anger: “I can!”
Joel clicked his tongue against the backs of his teeth and pretended not to hear. He also had to feign indifference when your walls tightened and all but choked his head and a wave of new pleasure surged up through his body.
“She can, Joel, I’m serious!”
Another two seconds of this and Joel sensed he might see tears. Though his gaze had trailed up to yours, and the look in his appeared stern, deep down, he was just as quick to want to cave. He just hid it better than you did.
“You think so, sweet pea?”
“I know so. I need it.”
“Need him?”
“Y-Yes.”
How sweet you seemed. How naive you must be.
Joel might’ve been mean, but he wasn’t cruel. He also liked teaching lessons as much as he enjoyed showing you the way, so in the next second, he obliged. He took the last shallow thrust of his tip and sank into your cunt.
As he filled you, you whined. It only took an inch or two.
“Da-a-ddy. Please.”
You must’ve been begging for lenience. Joel retreated.
Then, much to the man’s surprise, you kicked your feet. Not in relief but in protest, shaking your head up at him:
“Put him back. Please. D-Deeper.”
It was as though Joel’s brain had exited through the back of his head and all rational thought escaped him, for the moment. The only voice he heard was yours. It was pleading. And in between your legs, you were soaked.
So drenched to allow him another inch. Then another. Then another. Joel fucked in gently and felt a seismic wave of pleasure seize his limbs—and likely yours, as well. It was as though in two blinks, you’d forgotten the pain altogether. You were suffused with need instead, eyes wincing and lips curling and sounds leaving your throat like an animal in heat. Want him deeper, please.
Joel sawed back and forth with just those five or so inches and made you writhe underneath him. Felt you clamp down on his thick, slippery cock and heard the remnants of your shared arousal making sounds as your body accepted him. Stretching wider. Getting wetter. Bringing him closer to the edge with every breath.
“She’s doin’…so good f’me,” Joel told you, brainless.
His thumb drifted to your clit. He rubbed it gently. No sooner had he finished the first circle around that nub when your hips were stirring again—this time incensed.
“Daddy.”
“I know, baby. I know.”
Joel kissed the top of your head, thumb insistent. When his eyes met yours, he was surprised to find them wet this time. Tears pooling and streaking down to your temples while your body bounced gently beneath his thrusts. A whimper trembled out, and Joel slowed.
He could tell from that look you didn’t want him to stop, though. It just felt so good. So, instead of dropping his pace too much, Joel cupped your chin in one hand, and with the other, he kept thumbing at your clit. Humming.
“Poor thing’s never had something this big in ‘er, huh?”
You shook your head. Cried a little more.
Joel kissed the tears on one side, lips smiling as he did.
“I can tell, baby. But she’s taking it so well.”
“Y-Yeah?”
His hips sped up a little. The thrusts were still shallower than they normally would be, given your state, but they seemed to be working well enough. You winced again.
Joel kissed the other side of your face to take more tears.
“Uh-huh,” he answered, “Openin’ up real nice for daddy.”
It was like his words worked as well as his thumb on your clit. You whimpered again, lips parting a little wider now, and the sound that came out was as desperate and feverish and fuck-drunk as Joel had ever heard it.
“S-Say it again,” you pleaded.
“Say what?”
“That he’s…stretchin’ me open. Makin’ me his.”
The soft, slick resonance between your body and his seemed to amplify even more—you were getting wetter, and Joel’s thrusts all but shook the bed with their force.
His eyes darkened when he felt you tighten again.
“Yeah? You like hearin’ all the filthy fuckin’ things your daddy’s doing? The way he’s breakin’ you in for him?”
You nodded. Your throat constricted with a moan.
And, just when a fresh set of tears seemed to be close on the horizon, Joel lowered himself to you. He held you to his chest, hips working relentlessly, and he watched your face screw up in pleasure. A trace of pain surfaced again, but it was soothed with a kiss. Joel grinned against you.
Between your thighs, his cock was throbbing with a feeling just as big. He knew he couldn’t keep this up much longer. Hurting and aching and needing as you were, he had to make sure that you would cum first.
When his cock grazed a fleshy, sensitive patch inside your walls, he knew it wouldn’t take much. He went on:
“C’mon, sugar. Daddy’s split you open on his cock so nice, least you can do is cum for him. Can you do that?”
His nose brushed yours. His thrusts sped up. You nodded, quickly, and when he shifted in the bed with his thumb still on your clit and his lips and his stubble grazing your mouth with every push of himself, he felt it.
It was a small pulse, at first.
Joel thought you might be adjusting—clenching—again, when the lips that were trembling against his own parted more. Your arms wound around his neck, and suddenly the throb of your walls around his member got tighter and tighter and tighter. One more second and your cunt might’ve squeezed the hot, sticky seed right out of his body and flooded your insides with it, but then came release. The ‘o’ of your mouth let out a shriek, at last, and your body went soft around him, beneath him, whining in turn, ‘Daddy, daddy, please’ while the muscles once taut and unflinching gave him reprieve. Fluttering repeatedly.
Joel fucked you through it. He talked you through it.
He stroked your hair, and he held you tight. Called you his sweetheart, pretty thing, perfect girl, you’re doin’ so good f’me. Keep going. That’s right, cum all over daddy. He told you to take what you needed, and without another word, he felt just that. Your cunt spasmed around him, and you consumed every inch he gave and drank every drop of spend shooting out in thick spurts.
You fell boneless on the bed when all was said and done.
You looked happy, and that made Joel even happier.
He stroked your cheek, and you leaned into it, clearly drained while your gaze held his in a weak sort of look.
It was soft. Loving, even. It could’ve been romantic.
Then Joel’s hand slipped down to the nape of your neck again. Your muscles were limp, like all the rest of you, but somehow, he was able to hold you up. Tilt your chin a bit.
Make you peer down between your shaking legs, where his cock was still sheathed inside you—partly, anyway.
Your eyes widened. Joel grinned.
“You did great, baby. Ready for the other half of him?”
can y’all believe this image is what inspired this fic HA

it’s only Thursday i’m sorry 😔
#I WROTE THIS IN A FUGUE STATE LISTENING TO KEITH WHITLEY#IF IT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE IT’S PROBABLY JUST BC I’M SLEEP-DEPRIVED AND STUPID#joel miller smut#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#joel miller#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller imagine#joel miller one shot#joel miller tlou#the last of us fic
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I Manifested My Dream Apartment FOR FREE In 3 Days!!! (Law of Assumption Success Story)
ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ. 🐍🖤 ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ

⋆༺𓆩⚔️𓆪༻⋆ Backstory ⋆༺𓆩⚔️𓆪༻⋆
Hi babes!!!
A few months ago, I was literally homeless, no sugarcoating it. I was crashing at different people's places just to have somewhere to sleep. No stability. No peace. Constantly anxious. Constantly in survival mode. I was sick of it - of feeling like I had no control over my own life.
So one day, I made the decision. I'm done living like this. I deserve to feel safe, to have a home. And I'm not going to wait on the 3D to catch up. I decided I have my dream apartment already. I didn't know how. I didn't care how. I just knew it was done.
⋆༺𓆩⚔️𓆪༻⋆ Method ⋆༺𓆩⚔️𓆪༻⋆
The first thing I did was make a Pinterest board filled with dreamy apartment aesthetics. Think: floor-to ceiling windows, soft lightning, cozy corners, neutral tones, minimalist but luxurious vibes. I soaked in those images like it was already mine.
Then I tackled my self concept. Because let's be real: the world mirrors YOU.
I started robotically affirming the same core truths over and over:
༺♰༻I am a master at manifesting.
༺♰༻I'm GOD of my reality.
༺♰༻The world revolves around me.
༺♰༻I always get what I want exactly when I want it.
I also started listening to the "program your mind to think like GOD" affirmation tape by High Frequency Guru (literally obsessed with her. She is that girl) I played it every morning and night - when my subconscious was wide open.
I also let it loop in the background while I was cleaning, walking, scrolling, watching TV, passive, non-stop affirming like it was my job
Here's the twist tho:
I still felt delusional. I still felt like a fraud. My 3D said "you barely have a place to sleep"
But I didn't care.
I ignored the 3D. I reminded myself that my assumptions create my reality - not the other way around. I kept affirming. I refused to spiral. I refused to doubt. I made it law in my mind.
⋆༺𓆩⚔️𓆪༻⋆ Results ⋆༺𓆩⚔️𓆪༻⋆
3. Days. Later.
Within 72 hours, I was literally handed my dream apartment.
I'm not exaggerating. The EXACT apartment from my Pinterest board - same vibe, layout, same color scheme, fully furnished, even down to the little aesthetic decor touches I had on my vision board.
But wait! It gets better!!!!
I didn't have to pay anything.
Not for the move-in, not for the furniture, not for rent.
The rent is already paid for the ENTIRE year!!!
And it wasn't mommy or daddy's money. It wasn't even some long-lost rich relative. It came from a source I never even imagined.
Someone I didn't even know. Someone who just wanted to help.
The "how" didn't matter - it unfolded perfectly. And all I did was shift my mind.
⋆༺𓆩⚔️𓆪༻⋆ Final words ⋆༺𓆩⚔️𓆪༻⋆
If you're reading this - know that you can do this too.
You don't need to take physical action.
You don't need to stress over the how.
You don't need to be perfect or feel high vibe all the time.
You just need to do the one thing that actually matters:
༺♰༻Decide it's yours
༺♰༻Assume it's done
༺♰༻Persist in the new story, no matter what your 3D says
Your reality is your mirror: your thoughts are the script. Your mind is the only power. There's no one outside of you calling the shots.
You are God of your reality. The main character. The writer. The director. The producer.
And don't ever let this world make you forget that.
Love, Ivy 💚🖤
#law of assumption#manifesting#success story#loablr#manifesation#dream apartment#robotic affirming#affirm and persist
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