#spare starter anyone?

[nikkiwiththecats]

"I'm sorry, what? That's, uh, well that's horrifying. And totally not the stuff of nightmares."

[edgydadster]

Animation ideas, art ideas, shitpost ideas, aesthetic drawing ideas, vent art ideas, absolute menace to society ideas, all these ideas and yet I'm still staring AT A BLANK FUCKING CANVAS

[ahundredtimesover]

I Want You to Stay (01) | JJK

Pairing: Jungkook x (f.) Reader

Genre/Tags: boss!JK x assistant!reader; idiot strangers to lovers; slow slow burn; k-drama feels; angst, drama, fluff, smut

Chapter (Series) Warnings: foul/explicit language; alcohol consumption & passing out, unhealthy coping mechanisms; family drama; minor injuries; power dynamics (JK starts off as a jerk); work-related anxiety, feelings of helplessness, insecurities; childhood traumatic experiences, nightmares; sexual harassment, prior incidence of domestic violence (PLS PLS BE CAREFUL WHEN READING); arts and business/property devt talk that’s probably inaccurate; commitment issues & emotionally constipated characters; cold and detached JK; explicit sexual content (specific warnings stated per chapter) (18+)

Chapter Word count: 12k

Series Masterlist

Status: Ongoing

Series summary: Working for Jungkook isn’t the same as working for Hoseok. For starters, Jungkook doesn’t smile, he doesn’t appreciate you, and he gives you too much work. It doesn’t help that he’s incredibly handsome and has women at his beck and call. But as the tension grows, it becomes impossible to resist him. You’ve dedicated yourself to your job for 8 years so when you finally decide to put yourself first, he asks you to reconsider. And while you know that leaving is difficult, you learn that when it comes to Jungkook, staying is always so much harder.

Playlist 🎶: on the way home

A/N: Happy 2024, everyone! 🎉 Dropping this tonight as a welcome to the new year and the start of the wild journey that is this story. It's a different JK that I'm used to writing. It's also a different arrangement for me as the story is still being written, so just a heads up that updates won't be as regular compared to before, but they'll definitely come (pls don't come at me hehe 😁)! This is also a painfully slow build-up with lots of details and office talk so please be patient! I don’t know how this will turn out and be revived but I hope you enjoy! 💕

Also my biggest thanks to @wonwoonlight as always 🥰

Jung Hoseok’s smile is like a ray of sunshine - warm on cool mornings, radiant on sunny afternoons. It’s light and infectious, but more than anything, it’s genuine. There’s comfort in the way his entire face beams and how the rest of his body follows; there’s this sense of openness that makes it easy to be around him, that makes it easy to work for him.

It was 10 years ago when you first encountered that smile - bright and encouraging as he welcomed you and the rest of the interns to his family’s company. It slowly dissolved the anxiety you were feeling over being 1 of 12 chosen students to work for one of the leading real estate and property development corporations in the country. You’d see it again two years later as an employee, and you recall how he perked up at the sight of you, having remembered those eight weeks you spent preparing the conference room for their meetings and serving the executives their coffee. 

You wouldn’t have expected that five years after that, you’d be seeing that smile everyday as his executive assistant, and it was one of the things that made the job bearable. Despite the long hours and the amount of work you had to do and events you had to accompany him to, working for Hoseok always felt worth it. Despite the insane amount of pressure he was put under and the stress he had to endure, Hoseok somehow always managed to smile. 

He was serious when he had to be, but there was joy in how he did things. He allowed himself moments of calm, of time to check in on his support team for a few laughs. He’d spare himself a few minutes a day to sway to the soft music he plays in his office, he’d preside over meetings with vigor, and he’d start and end every interaction with anyone with that smile - the same smile that assures you that all your hard work is appreciated and which encourages you to keep learning.

It’s that same smile that he has on right now, as he hands you a custom-made cake with ‘you worked hard’ written on it. He says the words as your eyes turn to him in surprise. 

“Thank you for all that you’ve done,” Hoseok says. “I know you were new to the role just like I was but you made everything so easy for me. I’m gonna have to get used to being without your brilliance, Ms. Cho. I hope you never doubt yourself ever again.”

Your astonished face turns into a pout, as it dawns on you that it’s Friday, the first unofficial day of you no longer being Hoseok’s executive assistant, given his appointment as President not long ago. Yet despite the big change he’ll be experiencing starting next week, he’s the one affirming and comforting you, something that’s rare for someone of his stature and something you’ll definitely miss. 

“You know I don’t cry, but I just might,” you respond, earning you a chuckle. “But really, I… I can’t thank you enough for taking a chance on me. I know my credentials weren’t like the others but—”

“Ms. Cho,” he interjects. “The only credentials those other applicants had were the universities they went to, but none of them matched your level of skill and dedication to the role. I can assure you that none of them would’ve managed the past three years like you did. I should be thanking you for dealing with all the craziness with me.”

“You’re a good boss, it’s that simple,” you return the compliment now. “You were patient with me and challenged me to be better without putting me down. That does a lot for a person’s confidence, you know?”

“I know that now,” he smiles again. “But really, I don’t think I could’ve asked for a more competent right-hand woman. Jungkook’s lucky he’s taking my position with the most capable assistant to help him out.”

At the mention of the man’s name, your face sours, something that Hoseok picks up, earning you another laugh. 

“Not a fan of him, I see,” he eyes you curiously.

“I don’t mean any disrespect, Mr. Jung, but your cousin is not you,” you explain. “I may have only seen him a handful of times but those are enough to let me know that he does not smile.”

“Yes, I do confirm that,” Hoseok chuckles. “Jungkook’s quite the perfectionist and very much a workaholic. But he’s brilliant and creative and you’ll learn a lot from him, too. He’s being primed to co-lead the company with me and he needs a strong support for that and I think that’s you. His father thinks that’s you, and for the CEO to think so means a lot, ___. Uncle has seen how you work and was adamant that you remain in this role, especially with his son assuming the Vice President position.”

You know that Hoseok means to reassure you, but you suppose your insecurities over having this role and even being in this company won’t ever really go away. You didn’t graduate from a prestigious university in Seoul like most employees here did, and in this society, that usually means everything. You’re thankful for the trust that you’ve been given and you agree that you worked hard for it, too, but it will always be overwhelming; even then, it sometimes still feels undeserved. 

At your silence, Hoseok speaks again. “___, as your former boss and as your friend, I’m here to back you up. Jungkook’s family but if he, for some reason, acts like a hard-headed jerk, you let me know, okay?”

He turns serious now, as he silently asks for you to promise him that you’ll speak out if you need to. Hoseok knows what you went through under Mrs. Byun, the former manager who abused her power over you until her own slip-up caused her downfall years later, and he doesn’t want you to go through that again. 

“Okay. But I didn’t mean to imply that he’s a jerk just because he doesn’t smile,” you clarify. “I guess I meant to say that… I’ll miss working for you. That’s all. We somehow always got a laugh in, no matter how stressful things were. I’ll miss being with A-yeong, too.”

“I know you also meant to say that I’m the best boss you’ve ever had,” Hoseok chuckles, though you don’t miss the sadness in his eyes, too. “But I’ll just be two floors above you. You’ll still see me everywhere. And A-yeong’s gonna miss you, too, that’s why she can’t let you go without having dinner out, that I’m apparently not invited to.”

“We’re just gonna gossip about you, don’t worry,” you tease, appreciative of the fact that his wife has been kind to you all these years, apologizing to you on his behalf during the rare times he’s cranky, and gifting you little things from their trips abroad. “But thank you again, Hoseok,” you continue, dropping the formalities when you mean to speak to him as a friend, because that’s what he is, and it’s a rarity in this industry where those in power tend to take advantage of those below them. “You’ve treated me well, and I’ll never forget that.” 

“Thank you, ___,” he smiles once more. “I’ll finish setting up my new office now. I’ll see you there in 30 minutes, okay? I know Jungkook officially starts on Monday but he wanted to get all the administrative stuff out of the way as soon as possible and since my old room is being sanitized, he’ll be staying at mine the whole morning. HR has everything he needs to sign so please get those documents from them before heading to my office.”

“Oh, so he’s coming today?” You ask, unable to hide the mix of surprise and disappointment in your voice. You’re clearly uninformed about this. “Didn’t he just arrive last night?”

“Yes, he did. I thought he’d at least spend today resting but no, he called me an hour ago to say he’ll drop by this morning so he can get straight to business on his first day,” Hoseok explains, shaking his head at the thought of his cousin wanting to get straight to work. “I know it’s short notice so you don’t need to brief him or anything yet. You’ve been buried in organizing all my files this past week after all.” 

“Okay, but I’ve got everything organized for him already anyway in case he wants to start,” you say, having prepared all the documents he’d need to ease into his role more smoothly, knowing it’s your job to help him with that. 

“Of course you have,” Hoseok chuckles, impressed as always with how on top you are of everything. “I’ll see you in half an hour.”

You sulk in your seat once he’s out of view, whining internally because much as your files are ready for your new boss, you’re the one who isn’t. You’d held off on mentally preparing yourself for meeting the Jeon Jungkook, second son of the current CEO of Jeon Corporation and the new Vice President, thinking you’d have the entire weekend for that, so you’re caught off guard at having to face him today. It’s one thing to move on from no longer having Jung Hoseok as your boss - that itself took you months to process and accept; it’s another to have to get used to assisting someone else, someone you know is completely different in attitude and approach to his work.

Jungkook used to be an executive in the Singapore office, the Southeast Asian headquarters of the company. In your three years as Hoseok’s assistant, you’d only seen Jungkook a few times, such as when he’d fly to Seoul for an official visit or a family gathering but you never interacted, as you didn’t really have a reason to, especially since you were always busy with making sure the event was running smoothly. 

But you’d definitely noticed him, partly because the female staff always talked about him when he was around, and partly because next to his parents and his cousins, who are all personable in their own ways, Jungkook sticks out like a sore thumb. You’re not exaggerating when you say that you’ve never seen him smile - not for the pictures and not when he’s talking to the other executives and employees, a contrast to his father’s infectious charm and his mother’s youthful energy.

You’ve gotten used to Hoseok’s passion balanced with his thoughtfulness and joy - you always enjoyed the videos that A-yeong would show you of their weekends doing ballroom dancing because it’s what he loved to do with her. You’re unsure how you’ll manage assisting someone who’s the complete opposite. You’ve heard of Jungkook’s abilities though; his father always spoke of them with pride. Creative and innovative, he’d say of his son, but he always lived in his head, too, and perhaps that’s why even if he can socialize with others, he prefers not to, given that you’d always seen him at the bar after said events, drinking on his own.

You didn’t think those times that you’d one day be having him as your boss. You didn’t expect the appointments to come this soon, nor did you expect to still be in the company by the time they happened. But here you are, about to meet him and hoping to the heavens that whatever preconceived notions you have of him based on what very little you know would be proven wrong. 

Wanting to calm yourself down before meeting him, you head to the management support team’s office for a cup of tea in the pantry, but you’re stopped by Do-hyun, one of the project assistants. 

She hugs you like she always does, even if you rarely ever return it, and she whines like you expect her to, given her unusually pouty face. 

“It’s only been an hour but I already miss Mr. Jung,” she laments. “Why did they appoint him as President so soon? They could’ve waited for another year or so, or at least let him take us with him!”

You find yourself being the reasonable one this time, as you pull her away from you so you could talk to her properly. 

“We always knew he was going to be President, Do-hyun. But then the Board decided to make Ji-woo head of the Singapore office after their uncle stepped down, and that meant Hoseok had to take his sister’s place,” you explain, knowing how generational corporations like this work, with family members rotating in the executive positions. “And much as he’d like to take us with him, the position already comes with its own team. He’s just two floors above us, though. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind if we popped in every once in a while to say hi.”

“No, I’m bitter,” she pouts again, earning her a laugh from you.

“Well, at least the new Vice President isn’t a stranger,” Manager Lee chimes in. 

“I heard the CEO’s son doesn’t smile,” Do-hyun counters. “How do we go from assisting someone who literally gives all of us the energy to work each day, to someone who doesn’t think there’s anything worth being happy about? I also heard he’s a workaholic, so what if he demands that we can’t leave the office until he does? And that he’s kind of a fuck boy, so what if he has a scandal that we have to—” 

“Yah! Those are just hearsay, and we don’t listen to those,” you warn her, not wanting the team to start on a bad note because of some rumors about your new boss that may or may not be true. 

And if those are, it’s your job to make sure that those are handled properly and that there’s no friction between the management support team and the Vice President. The thought suddenly hits you and you feel nauseous. You’ve never had these worries with Hoseok because he always prioritized the team - he made sure that tasks were properly delegated, that you all took your well-deserved break, that you weren’t burnt out, that you all knew he got your back the way you all got his. 

But then again, it’s natural to be anxious about change, especially when what you had was already the best it could’ve been. And much as you were the one worrying about this earlier, you’re now the one who has to reassure the team, especially the younger members, that things are going to be okay. 

“You’ll meet him soon, and I’ll make sure he’s properly oriented with everything before he sits down with you all,” you say. “Let’s just be optimistic about this, okay? Manager Lee has been here a while and he can guide all of us when it comes to adapting to changes like this.”

The rest of the team nods, voicing their agreement about being open and welcoming to your new boss. 

“Okay, good. Now let me get my tea before I combust,” you chuckle, heading towards the adjacent room. 

You’re busy taking breaths in between sips of your hot drink when you see a familiar face in the room through the glass window, prompting you to head back outside.

“Mr. Ri,” you greet, causing the man before you to turn towards you. “What are you doing here? Does Mr. Jeon need anything?” 

Knowing you’re referring to the elder Jeon, Mr. Ri shakes his head. 

“I’m here as Jungkook’s chauffeur and bodyguard, actually. His father appointed me, wanting people he trusts to help his son,” he clarifies. “I’ve just driven him from his penthouse.”

“Oh,” you say, unable to control the way your face falls a little. “So, he’s here.”

“He is. He said he wanted to get things done today so he doesn’t waste his time when he starts next week. He’s at Hoseok’s office right now. I believe he’s supposed to sign some documents?”

“Oh shit,” you blurt out, immediately setting down your half-finished tea and rushing out the door to speed-walk to your desk, ignoring Mr. Ri’s demand for you to slow down. 

With what little you know of your new boss, he seems like the type to not excuse tardiness, so you take your files, head to HR to retrieve some documents, and then proceed to Hoseok’s office. You try to catch your breath as you head towards the door, which opens before you get to knock, revealing Bitna, the President’s assistant, who greets you with a sweet smile. 

“Hi, ___. I was just about to call you,” she says. “CEO Jeon is inside as well. Just walk in, they’re waiting for you.”

You cross the small hallway as the door gently closes, and you stop in your tracks the moment you hear Jungkook’s voice.

“I still prefer my old assistant,” he says, obviously displeased. “He was very organized, highly educated, and well-traveled. While this Ms. Cho didn’t even study in a top university in Seoul. And Hoseok says she doesn’t know any other foreign languages when that’s one of my requirements.”

“Son, you’re being too harsh,” CEO Jeon chides. “Ms. Cho is a top performing employee, very hardworking and dedicated. She’s worked here for eight years and she imbibes all our values; she knows the company culture and knows the ins and outs of things with how she’s been exposed to them. Ask your cousin; Hoseok speaks highly of her.”

“___ is great, Kook. She’s incredibly organized and highly analytical and observant. She doesn’t need a Seoul education to be good at what we need her to be good at,” Hoseok argues. 

“I still want my old assistant. It’s more convenient that way. Lucas already knows how I work and what I require of him,” Jungkook insists. “I’m just saying that I need things to be efficient and she and I can’t be adjusting to each other when there are multiple projects that I’d much rather give my attention to.”

“And I’m saying that Ms. Cho probably knows more than you do when it comes to these projects,” the elder Jeon counters. “Plus, your old assistant would have to adjust to life in Seoul and that’s harder. It’s just not practical, especially since you’re due to start in a few days. You have other things to worry about. ___ is there to make your life easier. Give her that chance to do her job.”

“But I—”

“Good morning, gentlemen,” you greet, not wanting to hear whatever unfounded things that Jungkook has to say, even if you have your own preconceived notions about him which, you remind yourself, are partly founded. Barely five minutes in and you already can’t stand his judgmental and entitled ass. 

You walk towards the middle of the room where they’re congregated on the couches, with the elder Mr. Jeon and Hoseok smiling at you while Jungkook merely glances at you, his jaw clenched, perhaps irritated at the fact that you’d overheard him completely misjudge and undermine your abilities without even knowing who you are.

“Good morning, Ms. Cho,” CEO Jeon says. “I know you’ve seen him a few times but I’d like you to officially meet my son and the new Vice President, Jungkook.”

Jungkook turns to you with a disinterested look but he doesn’t meet your eyes. You bow as a sign of respect, even if it’s the last thing you think he deserves.  

“My pleasure, Mr. Jeon,” you respond. “I was told that you’d like to proceed with administrative matters this morning. I have all the documents with me and I can explain each one to you before you sign them. I’ve also consolidated all the things you need to know prior to your meetings next week,” you add, handing him an iPad. “This has the resumes of each member of your management support team, including their professional and development goals. Mine are there as well, so you can read about my credentials and achievements in this company the past eight years, which I think have tremendously helped me in performing my duties satisfactorily. There’s also a folder of team profiles of each of the departments you’re overseeing. You’ll also find closure reports of completed projects from the past five years, progress reports of ongoing projects, and approved and working proposals of upcoming ones. I’ve included summaries and key figures for each of them. You may read them prior to your meetings, and if there’s anything missing that you’d like me to include, I can have them ready by the end of the day.”

“Hmm,” Jungkook hums, as he scrolls through all the folders you’ve prepared for him.

In your periphery, you can see the other two men holding in smiles as you seemingly render the younger man speechless, but while he assesses all that you’ve provided to him, you’re given time to observe the man seated before you. Other than his slightly longer hair, not much has changed from when you saw Jungkook in last year’s gala. 

As he drags his tongue across the inside of his cheek with his scrunched eyebrows in judgment, you’re reminded that this is the first time you’ve seen him up close. And even from his angle, you can tell. 

He’s unfairly handsome. 

He’s got dark expressive eyes, soft-looking pink lips, and a sharp jawline that complement his lean figure. You understand why the staff are enamored by him even from afar and - if the rumors about him are true - why women would shoot their shot with him at clubs, in hopes they’d be the lucky one he’d choose to be with for the night.

The illusion breaks, though, as he turns to you with a hardened gaze. 

“I’m sure I’ll find something that’s missing,” he states.

“If they’re relevant and necessary, I can have the files ready by today,” you respond, knowing full well that you’ve included every possible document that would be of use to him. 

“I’ll be the judge of what’s relevant and necessary, Ms. Cho,” he counters. 

“Of course, Mr. Jeon,” you say, conceding. “Whatever it is, then I’ll make sure to have them ready for you as soon as possible.”

Jungkook hums in response, turning his attention to the HR documents this time, breezing through the text and ignoring your brief explanations of the contents before signing at the bottom of the pages. You inform him of sections he’s missed, and he groans at having been corrected but you don’t mind. He’s the one who chose to do all this now and in here, in front of his father and his cousin.

Once he’s done, he hands you the signed files and holds your gaze. “Is there anything else, Ms. Cho?”

“I suppose that is all, Mr. Jeon. Unless there are other things you want to assess, or people you want to ensure are qualified to assist you with your functions,” you say. 

Jungkook huffs in displeasure. You can sense the tension build, as irritation paints his face. It’s at that moment that his father chimes in, suggesting that you introduce him to his team.

“You can maybe also orient him on the current projects and partnerships,” the older man says. 

“That can wait. I’ve had enough of engaging for today,” Jungkook responds, his voice cold, detached. 

“In that case, let me lead you to your floor, Mr. Jeon.”

You step back and wait for him to walk ahead, before you excuse yourself from the older men. You don’t miss the sorry looks on their faces, and you give them a smile as if to say that it’s fine, that Jungkook’s someone you can handle, and his obvious displeasure towards having you as his assistant doesn’t faze you. It doesn’t change the fact that you wish he wasn’t your boss though, or at least, that he wasn’t such a jerk like what he’s being right now.

Walking behind him as you both head towards the elevator, you see the way he carries himself - hands in the pockets of his sleek black trousers, his eyes focused straight ahead, nothing like Hoseok who was always gesticulating as he spoke to you every time you walked side-by-side from one place to another.    

Jungkook stands in front of the doors, seemingly waiting for you to press the buttons and you do it before he could even express his annoyance. You stand in front this time, then make sure you hold the doors open for him to exit, and you resume your spot behind him as you walk down the hallway. 

“On the left are two small meeting rooms and one conference room,” you start, thankful that there’s not much to tour him around on this floor, given that everything is exclusive to the Vice President. “On the right is a seating room, and up ahead is an archive room. Down the—”

“I’ve been here before, Ms. Cho,” Jungkook interjects as he looks at you blankly. “This is my family’s building; I’m very much aware of how the floors look like.”

Not rattled by his disruption, you nod and smile, wanting to show him that whatever intimidation or humiliation he’s trying to make you feel isn’t gonna work on you. You know if you show any sign of frustration, that will just give him a reason to have you replaced and despite your clear dislike for the man, you need this job, especially this position that allows you to pay your rent in a safe part of town and send money to your family every month. At this point, that’s the only thing that will keep you going.

Approaching the management support office, you walk faster and make sure to enter the room before he does, signaling the team with your eyes that their new boss is coming, your silently frantic gaze telling them to be on their best behavior because their usual antics won’t work on Jungkook the way they did with Hoseok. 

Once Jungkook appears, everyone bows and greets him, and you can sense them holding their breaths as they look up, taking him all in. You see him eye each person, and you can tell he’s already assessing them individually. You take it upon yourself to introduce each one, stating their name, where they studied and what course they took, describing their primary role in the team and their specific strengths. You see him follow your words, nodding and humming as you go, and you think he’s processing the information and making sure he remembers them. 

There are no pleasantries; Jungkook just goes straight to the point. 

“I’m sure you have concerns about having a new boss and the changes that come along with it. But I’m here to tell you now that you should get over whatever those are, as I’d like the adjustment period to be as short as possible,” he starts. “My cousin is brilliant at his job and so am I, but we work very differently, so whatever you got used to doing with and for him, don’t expect the same with me. I demand excellence and efficiency from each one of you because that’s what I commit myself to and that’s the only way that this team will be able to do its job. Am I clear?”

“Yes, sir,” the team answers in unison. 

“We commit to those as well, Mr. Jeon,” Manager Lee says. “As the head of your support team, I will make sure that all our deliverables are of high quality and that things will run smoothly so that we may properly do our job of assisting you.”

“That’s good, and that’s what I expect,” Jungkook says, nodding at everyone before walking out the door to head to his office, with you trailing him from behind. 

“Is my room still being sanitized?” He turns to you. 

“Yes, sir.”

“Why did it need to be sanitized? And why today?”

“It’s protocol, sir. We also had a sendoff for Mr. Jung yesterday so the room smelled of food. And he instructed for this to be done today so that I don’t need to come here tomorrow, as he doesn’t like any of his staff working during the weekend,” you reply. “This should be finished this afternoon. I’ve also purchased the oil for your diffusers. The room will be ready for you by Monday.”

Jungkook merely hums and looks around, specifically at your designated area with your desk and shelves at the back, then takes a call before turning to you again to say that he’s heading out to meet his friends.

“Is there anything else you need, Mr. Jeon?” You ask, thankful that you don’t have to deal with him for the rest of the day.

“No.”

“Okay then, sir. I’ll meet you at your apartment at 6:30 AM on Monday. Is that time alright?”

“Sure,” he responds, then turns around and starts walking out. “Just keep your phone on. I work during the weekend.”

He’s gone before you can even respond, and you rush to the support office once you’ve heard the elevator ding that indicates that he’s gone. When you get there, you’re greeted with everyone’s frowns, with Do-hyun close to tears.

“I don’t like him, ___. He looks so unapproachable and too serious!” She complains. “I miss Mr. Jung. Is there an opening in his team? Should I just resign?”

“Aish!” You reprimand her. “Don’t speak like that. And don’t let those few minutes determine everything for you.”

“Well, those few minutes are enough to tell me that I don’t like him. No matter how good-looking he is,” Chin-sun says.

“He is, right!” Do-hyun chirps now, a complete 180 from seconds ago. “I’ve seen him around but I didn’t think he’d be even more handsome up close! It just sucks that he’s a grinch and that makes all the difference. Maybe that’s why he doesn’t have a girlfriend! He’s probably too snobby and—”

“Yah! You really need to stop it with those rumors,” you scold her this time. “That’s your boss. His personal life is none of our business. Where do you even hear these things?”

“Every washroom in this building, basically. Staff are always gossiping there, you know?” Do-hyun responds. 

“And since when do we listen to gossip,” you scowl at her. “Sure, he’s not our favorite person right now but we don’t have the right to make claims about aspects of his life. And where are people even getting those ideas!”

“People talk, I guess,” she shrugs. “And he’s often spotted in clubs with those Kim brothers so maybe they see things. I’m not saying they’re all accurate… just that rumors often have some truth to them, you know?”

“No, I don’t, and we shouldn’t be sticking our noses in places where they shouldn’t be,” you say.

“Fine, but it’s just a heads up,” Do-hyun says, turning serious now. “You’re his executive assistant, and you have no choice but to stick your nose in places because personal and professional lines are often blurred in your situation, and that’s just how our world’s set up.”

“She’s right,” Chin-sun chimes in. “I mean, you need to know his personal schedule, go to his apartment, do errands if you need to, maybe buy a box of condoms if he runs out… You just got lucky that Mr. Jung’s pretty chill and has a wife who’s even nicer than he is. Your only problem was that he was damn scared of everything that moved and wasn't human.”

You’d laugh at the last statement if you could, but you know they’re both right. Hoseok wasn’t perfect, and neither was his marriage, but it never reached a point where you had to be put in a compromising position because you were his assistant who, by nature of your work, had to be privy to some of his personal matters. The most involved you were was when he and A-yeong had an argument and they used you as their messenger, but even that was more of a miscommunication issue than anything serious. They apologized to you after and promised to never put you in that kind of situation again.

But with Jungkook as a single man, you’re unsure what personal business you’d end up being involved in. You just wish it wasn’t something that would test your principles and cause you to lose your job. Regardless, whatever that would be isn’t something you can even really talk about with others.

“Well, I don’t wanna think about any of that right now,” you sigh, knowing you’ve got enough to worry about, such as how you’re going to start surviving everyday assisting a man who clearly doesn’t want you around. 

But if he’s gonna be a hard-head about it, then you’re just going to have to match him. You got to where you are because you’re determined to prove yourself constantly, and you’ll just show him that he needs you, and he doesn’t really have a choice unless he wants to argue with his father. 

You try to encourage your team once more and give Do-hyun that rare hug in comfort before going back to your desk, intent on finishing all the presentations for your briefing with Jungkook next week. You begin setting up his room by mid-afternoon, using a photo of his Singapore office as a basis since you were told that he prefers a certain style for his furniture and decor. You’re no stylist but over an hour after you finish, you think you did pretty good. You were so into designing the space that you didn’t notice the time fly by; before you know it, it’s 6PM, because you can hear A-yeong right outside calling for you.

“Hi,” she chirps, hugging you in greeting. “Are you ready?”

“I’ll just pack my things,” you say, walking to your desk. 

A-yeong takes a peek at the room and praises your efforts. “This looks so different from how it used to be. And that’s good because those cousins have such different tastes. But I think Jungkook will like this. He’s into the masculine and moody vibe, so good job, ___.”

You know that despite her kindness, she wouldn’t lie, and you could only hope that she’s right. You think it looks nice, but it’s what he thinks that matters; you’ll just have to wait until Monday to find out. 

As you’re about to leave, Hoseok appears in the hallway and asks how you are. Your scowl pretty much gives you away.

“I’m sorry about Jungkook, ___. He’s stubborn and a hot-head sometimes but he isn’t always like that, and this isn’t me making excuses for him,” your former boss says. 

“Why, what did he do?” A-yeong asks worriedly. 

“Basically implied that I’m not qualified for this role, among other things,” you respond. “But it’s okay. Not like I haven’t heard that before.”

“And you know that’s not true,” Hoseok comforts you. “He’s not good with change, that’s all, and you know how these appointments were all pretty short notice and he’s just been frustrated ever since. But whatever it is he said, don’t take them to heart. He’ll get a word from me, and he’ll definitely get one from his father.”

You want to say that it’s not easy to just disregard what Jungkook said; he’s your boss after all, and all that matters is what he thinks about you. But you’re not one to air out these feelings to Hoseok now that you’ve experienced a bit of what it’s like, so you just shake your head and ask the older man to let it go.

“He’s probably just tired,” you make an excuse this time, not wanting to discuss further with Hoseok. “And he had that assistant for over five years. I can understand wanting that familiarity and convenience. I’m just gonna have to adjust; there are a lot of things going on right now and he’ll need to focus on the projects, not his compatibility with his assistant.”

“But that matters though,” Hoseok insists. “I got things done because we worked well together. He’s gonna have to meet you in the middle with this one. And I’ll make sure that he does.”

“I know you said you want to look out for me but I don’t think it’s a good idea if you intervene this time, Mr. Jung,” you say, letting him know you’re serious and you mean business. “I’ll be okay, don’t worry about me.”

You give him a comforting smile, and you hope it’s enough to quell Hoseok’s own worries and it works this time. He returns it before letting you and his wife go, and it’s the Thai dinner and incredible desserts that somehow make up for your not-so-great day. 

You think the weekend will give you the peace you need to face your dreaded week - you do your errands and chores on Saturday and go to the market and watch a movie by yourself in the cinema the next day. 

All it took was a text from Jungkook that Sunday evening, asking for copies of certain policies and disapproved proposals from the last five years, that just had to ruin it, as you spend the entire evening consolidating the files, making you already wish it was Friday.

Jungkook’s apartment building is one of the Jeon properties that you haven’t been to yet, as it’s one of the newer massive residential structures that they built three years ago. You enter the sleek-looking lobby then submit your documents at the reception in exchange for your own access, and you internally marvel at how luxurious everything looks. 

You get to the 42nd floor, and it seems that there are only two units here. You walk towards the one on the right, choosing to be on the safe side by ringing the doorbell. It’s Monday, after all, and it’s your first time here; you don’t want to just enter without him permitting you to do so. 

You’re about to press the button again after a minute of no response, when the door opens and you take a moment to process the sight before you. 

There, standing just a few feet away, is Jungkook with nothing but a pair of black gym shorts on, his taut chest glistening in sweat, and his entire right arm covered in black and colored ink. His hair is damp and ruffled, and it’s probably due to the boxing he’d just done, as evidenced by the wraps on his knuckles and the way he’s panting heavily. 

You get your senses back and look away, not wanting to look affected by his half-naked form, even if you’re the one who has to catch her breath this time because much as you dislike the man, you can’t deny that his body is something that definitely deserves to be praised. 

“You’re here,” he speaks first, surprise laced in his voice as he takes in your obviously flustered form.

“I asked if 6:30 AM was a good time to come, Mr. Jeon,” you answer, glancing at him before looking at whatever you could behind him. “Perhaps I misheard your confirmation. I can wait downstairs if you’re not yet done with your exercise. My apologies for coming in early.”

You don’t actually have anything to be sorry for; he did confirm the time, and he’s the one who decided that working out at this hour was a good idea, knowing that his assistant’s scheduled to come. You would’ve appreciated it if he says you don’t need to apologize, but he doesn’t.

“It’s fine, I just finished,” he huffs. 

He leaves the door open for you to enter then heads straight to the large room on the right, which looks to be an indoor gym. You allow yourself a few seconds to look at his retreating form, quietly gasping as his broad shoulders and slender waist blind you a little, then scolding yourself for doing so. You stay rooted by the kitchen and look around the spacious penthouse as you wait for him to return. He exits the gym wearing a loose white shirt now, combing his hair with his fingers as he drinks a bottle of water.

“So, Mr. Jeon, uh, I would prepare Mr. Jung’s outfits for the week and then help his house staff make his breakfast. I run down his schedule as he eats. Are you okay with the same arrangement?” 

“Sure. I just don’t have any staff with me so you’re on your own. I’m fine with anything though. I’m not usually hungry in the morning,” he says before walking to the other side of the apartment.

You follow him, careful not to enter spaces you’re not given permission to, which is why you stand by his bedroom door before asking to come in. 

“How will you prepare my clothes from there?” He huffs. “Of course you can enter. Just be done before I finish taking a shower.”

You nod shyly and then head to the walk-in closet that thankfully has a separate door from the bathroom. He’s already unpacked his clothes, although not everything has been organized. You spot a few suits that are ready to wear, and you fix those first, taking note of asking him if there are things he wants dry cleaned or pressed. 

You leave his bedroom in time, hearing him slide open the door as you make it out, and proceed to make his breakfast. There’s really not much you can create with what little he has, so you make do with eggs and toast and whatever spread you find in his cupboard.

Jungkook walks into the kitchen not long after, the dark gray suit looking immaculate on him as you expected. Spotting his crooked necktie, you immediately walk up to him to fix it, unaware of how he holds his breath with how close you are. Noticing his body stiffen, you step back right away, apologizing for not asking permission first. 

He looks away and says it’s fine, then sits on the spot at the dining table where you’ve set up his meal. He stares at it for a good few seconds, prompting you to explain yourself.

“That’s… that’s all I could make with what you have, Mr. Jeon,” you say. “I can arrange for online groceries for you, as well as dry clean and pressing for your clothes and—”

“I’m having someone come in to clean my place and do all of that,” he says, as he takes a bite of his food. “So, what’s my week like?”

You start to enumerate the conference and lunch meetings he’ll be having this week, including who they’ll be with and their purpose. They’re mostly with the department leads to discuss updates on processes and current projects, and you’re thankful that Hoseok involved you as much as he did, given that Jungkook’s questions are more specific than you expected. 

Sure, he’s a Jeon and obviously works in the same company, but the Southeast Asian projects are different from the ones being implemented in South Korea, and while he used to oversee overall compliance to design standards, he’ll now be in-charge of setting those very standards this time. As Vice President, he’ll be involved in crafting policies; he’s also free to manage his own construction projects, and that’s what the support team is for. Given his much more expansive role this time, there are more departments and projects to oversee, and definitely more executive decisions to make. 

You suppose it’s why his questions don’t stop, even after he’s cleaned up and you both find yourselves in the backseat of the car and on the way to the office. He looks through the iPad with all the files you gave him, and you see the notes he’s made on them as you turn to him to answer his queries. Even if you know that he’s also still assessing you - perhaps on your knowledge and attention to detail - you can’t help but admire his thoroughness. You may have also cursed him in frustration for making you work on a Sunday, but he seems to have done way more than you, given that he went through all the documents over the weekend. You suddenly don’t feel too annoyed. 

But of course, he has to ruin it again.

“I need these annotated versions of the project and departmental documents ready before my meetings with the respective teams,” Jungkook says, his voice low and stern. “And I expect progress reports to be as detailed as possible, so make sure to check them first before they get to me. The ones you gave need revisions. I believe you’re trained enough to know immediately that these are lacking.”

“Yes, sir,” you respond, noting his instructions on your notebook while internally yelling, given that you’re unsure of the need for them before the meetings. 

Surely, he could give you some time to work on them, but with a meeting with one team in the afternoon and seven more the rest of the week, and on top of the other things you need to do for him, you already know you’ll be cramming to get everything done. 

You try to manage your breathing. Somehow, your habit of pressing your nails against your palm when you're stressed has miraculously come back today. It was something you developed while working under Mrs. Byun, which you eventually got over after working for Hoseok. You feel the anxiety build up, especially as you look at the half crescent marks on your skin, and it’s times like this that you wish your best friends were based in Seoul instead of Busan, so you’d at least have people to comfort you when things are a little tough. 

It’s not to say that work wasn’t overwhelming before. It definitely was, but Hoseok always found a way to make everything bearable and he was always reasonable with what he demanded of you. Now you’re stuck with a man who already makes you feel like your hard work isn’t enough. 

You make it to the office with no other words said and a thick tension in the air. It follows you to the elevator and into Jungkook’s room, where he dismisses you so he can prepare for the first meeting of the day. You rush to your desk and get on with your tasks, making sure to work on the annotated project file that he needs by the afternoon. 

It’s an hour later when you find yourself in the conference room for the meeting with the management support team. You prepped them just 10 minutes earlier, and while you tried to hide your frustration, your unusual lack of energy told them enough that it wasn’t exactly a good start of the day. 

They come in one by one, and you take the time to prepare Jungkook’s coffee, remembering from his former assistant’s notes how he wants it. He’d put it off earlier, given that he prefers to drink his protein shake after his workout, so this is the first time you’re doing it for him.

His eyes flit from the coffee in front of him to you as you place it on the table.

“Two espresso shots and half teaspoon each of milk and sugar,” you state, wanting to confirm that you got it right.

He merely takes a sip, places it down again, and then starts the meeting. 

How bold of you to assume that he’d thank you or even acknowledge it, as if he’d shown you even the tiniest amount of gratitude for anything you've done for him since Friday. Which he hasn’t. 

You let it go and proceed to sit next to him, your eyes and ears ready for what you already predict is gonna be a long meeting. 

It ends over three hours later. As you expected, he had a lot of questions. He made sure that each member had time to explain their current tasks and how they will monitor the projects assigned to them. You didn’t miss the way he’d acknowledged them with “good” and “well done,” and thanked them after they finished. He only nodded at you after your turn, with his eyes barely meeting yours, and for all the confidence you built over the past three years, you can’t process how it’s his non-acknowledgment that’s just going to undo all that. And quite frankly, you’re unsure if that’s on him or if that’s on you. 

Half of the meeting was spent discussing the big project that he wants to take on as Vice President. There’s a property they recently acquired - a non-operational arts center that he wants to revive by adding a performance hall, small theaters, a grand library, function rooms, and a permanent exhibition presenting the buildings that his family had developed over the years to showcase their architectural designs. 

You saw the excitement in your team members’ faces. Hoseok took over with several unfinished projects so you all had to focus on those. Aside from Manager Lee, this is the first time that you’re all handling something new and different. Even you felt the excitement creep in, a welcome emotion given how your day’s been going, but that shattered once he said that he wants it done by June of next year in time for an International Media Festival happening in August. The 12-month period he’s giving is too short with everything he wants to do, and you saw that the team felt the same. 

You go to them after Jungkook leaves for a lunch meeting, and their sighs and pouty faces tell you enough. Mr. Lee does his job of encouraging the team, and you add that you’re all gonna be supporting each other through it all. Sure, you’d have to match Jungkook’s ambition and thoroughness, but you should all take it as a challenge. 

You’re clearly not convinced yourself as the words come out of your mouth, but you don’t have time to debrief with them, as you still have that meeting with the design department that you have to prepare for. You take two biscuits and a cup of tea, and you decide that this is enough to last you throughout lunch, given that you’ll be spending the entirety of it working on the files. 

You don’t realize that an hour and a half have passed until you hear footsteps and see Jungkook’s form appear in the hallway. You stand to greet him, with him asking if you’re done with the annotated documents. 

“I’ll send it in five minutes, sir,” you say, hoping he’ll at least give you that. 

“Okay,” he responds. “Come to my office after you’ve sent it.”

“Yes, sir,” you say, quickly finishing the last two pages once he closes the door. 

You rush to get everything done and click send, then you head to his office and prepare yourself for more questions. It’s quiet inside as you watch him behind the desk, with his legs crossed and his eyebrows furrowed as he reads the document. You answer one of his questions and it’s at that moment when your very empty stomach decides to make itself known.

You freeze on your spot, as the grumbling sound starts low, getting louder for a few beats before it temporarily stops. Your eyes widen in embarrassment, and you press your belly so hard with your fingers in hopes that that would do anything, even if you’re too far gone at this point. Your only hope is that it was all in your head, but Jungkook’s eyes flitting to you tells you otherwise. The only other sound in his room is the air purifier, but it’s not remotely loud enough to drown out your intense hunger. 

It goes again, and all you can do is look away; humiliating yourself was definitely not the plan for your first day as Jeon Jungkook’s assistant.

“Do you need to step away, Ms. Cho?” He asks, not meeting your eyes. 

“Oh, it’s not… uh,” a bowel emergency or something, you want to say. “I just had a busy lunch break.” 

You settle for that, a hint that you’d spent its entirety doing something in such a short notice. Hoseok would always be apologetic whenever he had you do something during your break; he always made up for it with a nice meal as thanks. You doubt you’d get anything close to that from this man.

Jungkook hums and surprisingly doesn’t ask for anything else. He dismisses you and orders you to go ahead and prepare the conference room for the next meeting, and you do just that, dropping by the pantry for a muffin that you eat in four bites, in hopes that it would be enough to shut your stomach for the next three hours. 

Right as you exit, Jungkook picks up his phone to make a call. And then another one.

“Mr. Ri, please pick up the pastries that Ms. Cho ordered at the food hall,” he instructs his chauffeur. “She’s too busy right now.”

“Will do, Mr. Jeon.”

Taking minutes of a meeting when you’re starving is not a good thing. You know this because you’ve done this so many times, like during monthly executive meetings and the quarterly board meetings that have you spread out thin. It’s also not rare to miss out on lunch because there’s a report to finish or a site to visit; during events, you go on a day with having barely eaten anything. 

But just because you’re used to it, it doesn’t mean that your body has fully adapted, because here you are, eyeing the croissants in front of you, your mouth watering at the gloss and softness of the pastry. They’re so tempting and also out of reach, given that you need to be entirely focused on the discussion that you’re documenting, and munching on something is out of the question. You don’t even know where this is from and you think maybe the design department called for snacks but it’s really not helping your concentration.

You hope the way you’re nibbling your lips doesn’t give you away, but Yoongi from across the table picks it up, as you get a notification of his message.

[From: Min Yoongi] you didn’t have lunch, did you? 

You ignore the prompt on your laptop and respond to him with a look instead. You know your pouty lips will give him his answer, and he merely shakes his head at the confirmation. 

You do your best to shut out the sight and scent of the food before you, absorbing instead the discussion so you can note this down properly with just minimal edits needed. You have a lot of documents to work on for the next few days after all, and that’s on top of the file reorganization that Jungkook asked you to do. 

It works after you hang on by a thread for two and a half hours, a little earlier than you expected to finish. All you want is to sneak out that croissant and maybe some tarts, too, but your heart breaks when you look up and find the boxes empty. 

You let out a sigh, relieved that your boss didn’t hear you because he’s already on the phone and heading out the door. But it’s that same time that a plate of food appears in front of you, and it feels like the gates of heaven have opened. You’re not surprised anymore to find out who it’s from.

“Eat,” Yoongi says from next to you. “I could see your hands shaking from across the table.”

“What about you?” You ask, your lips in a pout once more. 

“You know I don’t eat these things,” he shrugs.

He doesn’t, and you know this, too. You also know he called dibs on these earlier, seeing as his staff were quick to get them, and he’d saved these so he could give them to you. 

“Ten years later and you’re still trying to make sure I eat, huh?” You say, nudging him with your hips to tease.

“If I don’t, who would?” He responds, walking out of the conference room with you. “You have a bad habit of not doing that.”

“Well, duty calls. What can I do?” 

“Take care of yourself even if it’s hard,” he replies. 

“Says the man who rarely does it himself,” you chuckle. 

“You know, the best advice I give are the ones I don’t actually follow, so disregard the fact that I don’t even do what I say because they apparently work,” he says. “But I mean it, ___. Eat this now.”

“Thanks, Yoongi,” you smile, taking a piece of pastry and eating it in two bites. 

Your puffed out cheeks cause him to laugh, and despite still being hungry after this, you suppose it’s enough to not make you faint at this moment. 

“And eat a proper dinner, okay?” He follows up.

“I’ll be off late, so I’ll just grab something from the convenience store,” you say. “That’s as proper as I can afford tonight.”

“Aish, fine,” he shakes his head. “But let me get you coffee at least. Those tarts won’t taste as good without one.”

“That would be life-saving,” you dramatically say. “What did I do to deserve a friend like you?”

“Don’t know. I mean, I’m not that great,” he shrugs. 

You playfully roll your eyes. “I’ll save the compliments once I have the coffee.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” he feigns annoyance, gesturing for you to get back to your desk then walking the other direction. 

You take your seat and clean up the document, deciding that you’ll just review the meeting minutes tomorrow so you can get on with other pressing matters. It’s 20 minutes later when Yoongi returns, a tall cup of coffee on one hand and a banana loaf on the other.

“This is all they have left,” he says. “I hope it can last you until tonight.”

“It will,” you smile. “Thank you again. No one looks out for me here as much as you do. And that means a lot, more than you know. I don’t think I would’ve survived all these years without you.”

“Wow, all because of coffee and snacks,” he laughs, teasing. 

“It’s a fair trade. You feed me during my greatest need, I boost your ego,” you tease back. 

“Yeah, whatever,” Yoongi huffs in submission, but you know he enjoys it. 

You’re thankful that after everything that’s happened, you’re still able to maintain the friendship that you created when you were a mere intern and he was just starting out his career. 

“Anyway, I’m quickly meeting Jungkook and I need the portfolio of the contemporary arts institution joint project from 2019. It was VP-led so I assume it’s still here? Unless it’s in the archive room,” he continues.

“It’s within five years so it should be here,” you say, turning to the shelf behind you to confirm. 

You spot what you need and make the attempt to pull it out but your fingers barely even touch the rack.

“Need help?” Yoongi asks.

“And what help could you give, huh?” You tease again, earning you a playful groan.

“You brat.”

You laugh and pull out the small stool you keep for times like this. 

“Just make sure I don’t fall and embarrass myself further today,” you say, climbing up the steps then pulling out the heavy folder. 

You feel Yoongi’s arm move from where it was near your waist to over your head, as he lightens the load. You both try to balance it and laugh at your distorted faces in the process, and it’s moments of relief like this one that you’re glad you’re afforded after a long day like today. 

From inside the room, Jungkook sees you through the window, your eyes crinkling as you laugh along with Yoongi, head of the design department and one of his very few friends in the company. It catches him off guard, as he realizes that since meeting you last Friday, he’s never seen you laugh, much less smile or even have an expression that isn’t agitated or serious.

He knows that that’s probably on him. He’d spoken ill of you after all, something he regretted once he saw the frustration on your face when you made it known that you were in the room with them and had definitely heard everything he said. But he’d been tired and HR confirmed that he could bring Lucas over as his assistant; CEO Jeon was the one who vetoed that decision. 

Jungkook had already mentally prepared himself for the ease of his transition, knowing that he’d be assisted by someone who knows how he works and the quality of outputs he expects, only to come here and be told by his father that the current staff will stay, and that you - someone he’d only heard of as Hoseok’s assistant - will be the one assisting him from now on. Your resume didn’t even impress him.

Jungkook doesn’t like change and when he has to undergo it, he needs as much of what was familiar and convenient to remain; that’s the only bit of control he can have and he hates not being in control of things. You just happened to unluckily be at the receiving end of his anger.

But unlike what he expected, you stood up to him in the subtle ways you could. He’s been so used to people just following him, partly because his way is always the best but also because he commands that respect, and he knows his capabilities enough to know that he deserves it as well. So when you answered back, he felt rattled and just a little bit uneasy. He was unable to backtrack after, but he didn’t really plan to.

That doesn’t mean that he didn’t plan on being a bit of a jerk today, too. He’d been exhausted working over the weekend after going through all the files you gave him that he snoozed his alarm so many times and ended up doing his workout later than he intended. When you rang the doorbell and stood by his door with your skirt and satin top, he suddenly felt lightheaded.

He mentally smacked himself once the thought that your pastel colored outfit brought out your eyes more than the monochrome ensemble from last week floated in his head. He just hated that not only are you thorough with your work, you have to be beautiful, too. He’d never admit to anyone that both of those things make him nervous, and it’s the only reason why he thinks he needs to establish his authority so that he doesn’t get rattled the next time you counter him.

That’s why he demanded more work, which he didn’t intend to take up so much of your time, like your lunch break. He’d seen how your hands shook while you were taking notes during the meeting, prompting him to end the meeting early so you can have something to eat of what he’d bought but he’d left before he could find out if there was anything left for you. 

Maybe there wasn’t enough, as he also witnessed Yoongi hand you what seemed like food with coffee that the man also got for you just minutes ago. The smile you gave him was bright and sincere. Jungkook doesn’t think he’d ever see that directed at him, considering how he’d been to you on his first day, but maybe that’s also good; that could be his defense. Maybe it’d help quell that initial attraction that he doesn’t want and cannot allow at all to grow.

It doesn’t mean it doesn’t agitate him to see you a bit too close with his friend, because with the way you seem so comfortable and with the way that Yoongi sports that rare smile, it almost feels like there’s something there.

Jungkook is the son of the CEO, and having personal relationships within the company isn’t exactly advisable, but he’d gone to university with Yoongi and their introverted personalities instantly clicked. The older man is perhaps the only non-relative company employee that Jungkook kept in touch with when he was in Singapore, not that he even really talked much to his family outside of work anyway.

But in all the years of their friendship, his friend never mentioned any relationship - nor the makings of one - with another staff member. Jungkook hates how his curiosity is slowly getting to him. Maybe a few more moments would tell him more, but something about the scene happening outside his room is making him nervous and uneasy, so he decides to step in.

“Hey, Yoon,” he says as he opens the door. “Can we discuss now? I have to meet my parents for dinner in an hour.”

Your bubble with Yoongi bursts at the sound of Jungkook’s voice, and you immediately return to your seat. Your friend nods at you then enters the room, leaving you the peace and quiet you need to plop down on the floor for a quick snack of your loaf before going back to work, glancing inside every once in a while to see how the two are going, and perhaps confirm the friendship that you didn’t expect the two would have.

“This building is a good starting point,” Yoongi agrees with Jungkook. “If this is the general feel you want for the Arts Center, I can look into other projects and designs and come up with ideas. I’ll just ask ___ for the files I need.”

“You two seem close,” Jungkook says too quickly. 

Leaning back against the chair, Yoongi processes the question that he didn’t expect he’d hear. More than that, he tries to read what’s underneath it, knowing that his friend’s tone of voice and feigned stoic expression mean something more.

“You could say that,” Yoongi replies. “She did say that no one’s looked out for her here as much as I have. And that she wouldn’t have survived all these years without me.”

“So you’re actually friends?”

“Yes.”

“Were you more?”

Yoongi chuckles, the question giving him the answer he’s looking for. Jungkook may often be too serious but he can be transparent sometimes, too.

“Does it matter?” The older man asks.

“Just don’t want to be surprised, that’s all,” Jungkook shrugs. “If there’s an employee relationship happening under my nose, I should at least know.”

“It happens here a lot,” Yoongi responds. “I mean, it gives people something to gossip about but it’s how things are - work sucks sometimes and we want someone to hold at the end of a terrible day.”

Feeling like he won’t get an answer to a question that Jungkook doesn’t know why he felt the need to ask in the first place, he just shakes his head to concede. 

But it’s what prompts Yoongi to reply. 

“We met when she was just an intern,” he says. “We used to take the same bus then found out we both came from Daegu. Then she was employed and we were both on the logistics team before I was reassigned and she got the EA role.”

Jungkook merely hums, taking in the information.

“I also asked her out before,” Yoongi continues, earning him a surprised look from the younger man. “You just can’t help what you feel sometimes, you know?  But she turned me down, said she didn’t want to lead me on because she didn’t feel anything more. She also doesn’t like being involved with a co-worker, so yeah.”

“How are you still friends?”

“Asks the guy who’s still friends with his ex,” Yoongi laughs.

“Chaerin and I are civil, there’s a difference. And we haven’t spoken in years.”

“You loved her, though,” Yoongi counters. “I never got to that point.”

“This isn’t about me,” Jungkook huffs. 

Knowing it’s a topic that his friend doesn’t like talking about, Yoongi relents. “I moved on. That was years ago,” he says. “And it seemed like she needed someone. I mean, she’s not from here and her friends aren’t here, either. She appreciated the friendship even if she said she didn’t think she deserved it. I guess that made me really get over her, you know? That’s all she wanted and needed from me; it was better than not having her around.”

“How brave,” Jungkook remarks. 

“You mean mature?” Yoongi corrects. “Yes, that’s what I am, and it’s the best I could be for her. Especially since she’s got a boss who makes her miss lunch because somehow, there’s just so much to do for your first day on the job.”

“Don’t remind me,” Jungkook groans. 

“I will. Only so you could feel bad.”

“I already do. That’s why I…”

“Bought the pastries,” Yoongi finishes. “I mean, I didn’t order them.”

“Was any even left for her?” Jungkook sighs, remembering how he was internally screaming for you to just get from the box and he’d been the jerk to not offer you some even if it was technically for you.

“Sort of. I put some aside for myself so I could give them to her.”

“You sure you don’t like her anymore?” Jungkook cocks an eyebrow, an attempt to hide his uneasiness over something he doesn’t understand. He finds you attractive, that’s it. He doesn’t know why his mind searches for more answers.

“You don’t have to like someone romantically to be nice to them, you know?” Yoongi responds. “And she needed it. Heavens know the support she’d need now that she has to deal with your rude ass.”

Jungkook sighs, but the remark is a welcome one because he did tell Yoongi not to treat him differently just because he’s the Vice President now. He also partly agrees. But he sees the effort; his friend wouldn’t call him out for how he does things, so the most he would do is offer help to you. And Jungkook could maybe take advantage of that, as Yoongi stands up to leave.

“Hey, could you, uh, grab dinner for her at the food hall? And not say it’s from me?”

“The food hall’s closed,” Yoongi says.

“The cafe down the street, then?”

“You can’t be fucking serious,” the older man groans. 

But Yoongi knows his friend, knows the distance he creates from the people around him, knows his need to have control over everything, including his feelings, and knows the walls he builds because it’s easier to keep others out rather than do the hard task of letting them into a space that’s become comfortable because he’s been the only one inside for so long.

So Yoongi does as he’s asked. He takes the money then heads to the cafe to order pork cutlets and curry. He returns and sets them on your desk to your surprise, and you ask what it’s for.

“Just thought you deserve more than just convenience store instant noodles and gimbap given the day you’ve had,” he says. 

“Hey, those are delicious,” you pout, but wanting to melt at how good the rice bowl smells. “But thank you, again. I owe you a lot, Yoongi. I mean it.”

“Just make sure to eat on time so I don’t have to buy your dinner again,” he teases. “I mean it. You have to stay healthy, okay?”

“Okay,” you smile brightly. “Get home safe tonight.”

Jungkook glances out the window and holds back a smile himself at how innocent and genuinely happy you look. There’s this joy that you seem to enjoy to yourself and he sees that, he understands that. And somehow that’s enough to lessen the guilt for now. 

He still doesn’t know if he’ll ever see that smile directed at him or if he’d ever want that because of how disarming it is. But seeing it from afar is enough; it’s trivial and short enough to let him bask in it without having to climb out of his walls. He’ll watch you from behind, he thinks. He just wishes he doesn’t push you away in the process.

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[whatsk-poppinhomies]

Pairing : Dad!Bangchan x F!Reader TW : Chans daughter is not readers child ; Chans ex wife and daughter are shit starters ; drama of course ; angsty ; honestly, poor Chan ; fluffy ending though ; slightly suggestive at the end as well ; Word Count : 6.5k Request : Anonny : Please write an angsty / fluffy fic about Dad!chan who, after years of not dating, finally decides to get back into dating & when he finally finds someone he doesn't tell reader he has a teenage daughter because he doesn't know how reader would feel about it but when reader finds out they're really upset and avoid him and his daughter reaches out to reader and convinces reader to talk to Chan and make up because she hates seeing her dad upset. A/N : This request is so cute and I'm so happy I get to write it. Of course, it will be super drama because I love when it happens, and with Chans recent bbl messages we know this man loves this kind of shit, so... This is for Chan and Chan stans and we love Chan!

“I got a call from your teacher today, Ella.” Chan said as his daughter walked through the front door. “They said your grades haven’t been the best lately, that you haven’t been focusing in class. Is something wrong? Do you have something going on?” He didn’t want to be the kind of father that always got on his child when their grades were below average, but he also didn’t want his daughter to flunk out. He wanted to see her be successful and happy in life, that’s all he ever wanted. 

“I’ve just been going through some stuff, dad.” Ella mumbled as she kicked her shoes into the corner near the front door and dropped her bags onto the floor. “Mom said she’s been trying to get in touch with you lately. I guess she saw that you’ve been posting about going out on your facebook.” She pulled out the chair across the table from Chan. “Why don’t I get to meet your new girlfriend?” 

Chan rolled his eyes, finally looking up from his phone to look at his daughter. “You’re changing the subject. What I do in my spare time isn’t important. Your grades are. So tell me, what kind of stuff have you been going through that’s been keeping you from being able to focus. Maybe I can help.” 

She huffed loudly, the attitude that he was warned would come along with a teenage daughter was in full force now. “It’s not even important anyway… Don’t you have a date to go on tonight? That’s all you ever talk about anymore. It’s like you don’t even care that mom left…” It was finally making sense to him, but it hurt that she felt that way. He had been kind enough to keep his ex wife’s dirty secrets just that, a secret, so that Ellas view of her mother wouldn’t be warped. He was trying to do the right thing, but it was becoming harder and harder. 

“I do care that your mother left… I was hurt by it for a long time, El. It’s been 8 years, and I think that it’s time that I’ve finally moved on because she isn’t coming back. Your mother has gotten remarried, divorced, and married again in those 8 years and I haven’t been with anyone until just a few months ago. I don’t think you’re being very fair right now.” He tried to explain, but he could tell, he could just see it in her face that she wasn’t ready to hear about it. “And, just so you know, I don’t have a date to go on tonight. I was planning on being here to help you with your homework and studying so that I don’t get another call like I had today.” 

///

“Had a late night in the studio, huh?” You said as you walked up behind Chan, your arms draping over his shoulders as he sat in front of his computer in his office. You could tell he was tired, he could barely sit up straight and his eyes wouldn’t stay open for longer than a few seconds. “It’s okay to take a break, bubs. It’s 3racha, not ChrisRacha.” 

He snickered at the little name, finally swiveling his chair around to face you and pulling you down onto his lap. “You sound like everyone else. I don’t like taking breaks, it gives me too much time to think about the time that I’m wasting.” He explained, his voice was groggy and not even laced, but completely filled with exhaustion. “I’ll be fine once I go over your place tonight, we can cuddle up and watch a movie.” He nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck, his hot breath against your skin sending a wave of goosebumps all over. 

“They’re repainting all of the apartments, I can’t even go into my own house right now. I’ve been staying with my parents.” You reminded him, although you were sure you had texted him about it and told him about it in the days leading up to the renovation. “We can go over to your place. We’ve been dating for 4 months now and you haven’t even invited me over.” 

There was a reason for that, a reason that you didn’t know of, but he felt it was just better if you didn’t find out. The last thing he wanted was for you to run off because he had a daughter, not just any daughter though, a teenage daughter who was still hung up on the divorce of her parents. She wasn’t the easiest to get along with, and although Chan had tried to butter her up to the prospect of one day meeting you, she didn’t take too kindly to the fact that he was dating again. “My place is a mess…” He lied, trying to muffle his words in the fabric of your shirt so you wouldn’t pick up on it. “We can go to a hotel if you’d like.” 

“That seems sleezy…” You mumbled, and he felt awful, he truly did. It felt like he was stuck between a rock and a hard place. He absolutely loves his daughter with every ounce of his heart, his entire being, he loved being her father. He loved you too though, you had been the light at the end of a very long, very dark tunnel. He didn’t want to have to choose between the two of you, it just didn’t seem fair. “I guess we’ll just wait for my apartment to be ready…” He could feel you trying to pull away, he could tell that you were upset, he didn’t want you to leave like that, so he tightened his arms around you, holding you close to him. 

“You’re not sleezy! I’m sorry I even recommended that, you’re better than that.” He quickly tried to get himself out of the hole that he had dug, it felt like he was clawing his way to the top, and everytime he got halfway out, he’d slip and he’d fall right back to the bottom. “I’ll clean my place, I just want it to be perfect for when you come over. Okay? You deserve the best.” 

The tension slowly left your body, he felt you soften up against him, and for a moment, it felt like he could breathe again. “Okay… Fine. I’ll wait… I just really miss sleeping next to you.” You whispered, and those words made his stomach feel warm and fuzzy. He missed sleeping next to you too. “I have to get back to work though… I’ll see you later. Try taking a break though, take a nap or something, that’s what the couch is for.” You pressed a kiss to his cheek before getting up, his arms reluctantly loosening around you until you were free to go. “Seriously, get some sleep.” 

///

“Where are you going?” Ella asked from the couch, watching Chan storm to the front door and yank his coat off the hook. “Did you and your girlfriend get into a little fight? Do you have to go kiss and make up now?” The mocking tone in her voice would usually only slightly irritate him, but he was already beyond irritated at the reason he had to leave in the first place. 

“No, it’s your damn mother.” He snapped, pulling his shoes on before grabbing his keys. “I don’t know how long she’ll hold me up, there’s food in the freezer, or you can grab my wallet out of my bag and order yourself something. Try to do some studying while I’m gone, please?” And without another word he was out the front door, slamming it behind him. 

What Chan didn’t know was that he had left his wallet at work on his studio desk, and you had gone into his studio before leaving to see if he was there but only found his wallet. He must have left the building without saying anything to you, and you wondered if maybe he was sick or something had happened back at his place. You were doing the right thing, at least that’s what you felt you were doing. You were just going to take his wallet home to him and check up on him. You didn’t mind that his house might be a little dirty, you completely understood that he was busy, you didn’t expect his house to be immaculate. 

You weren’t sure why you were so nervous to stand in front of his front door, but a chill ran through your body and you had to take a few breaths before even lifting your hand to knock. Once you did, you took a step back, listening to the locks being undone before the door opened. It wasn’t who you expected to see, it wasn’t Chan, it was a girl, she looked younger, at least 15 or 16. “Oh, I’m sorry. I must have read the address wrong.” You quickly apologized, bowing your head to the girl before turning away. 

“Who are you looking for?” The girl asked, and what you weren’t aware of was that she had seen Chans wallet in your hand, she knew that you had come to the right address, she was just playing a game that you didn’t know about. You quickly said his name, and she let out a soft hum. “He’s out right now. It’s date night for him and my mom.” You felt your stomach sink, deeper and deeper until it couldn’t go any further. “Is that his wallet? Thank you so much for bringing it, I’m sure he’ll be happy to know that you brought it back. Hopefully he’ll answer his phone so he can pick it up and pay the bill, you know?” 

You nodded slowly, the bile from your stomach rising into your throat. “Y-Yeah… Of course… H-Here you go.” You stammered, your hand shaking as you handed the wallet over to the girl. You knew she wasn’t lying, she looked so much like Chan it was uncanny. Why hadn’t he told you? What was he even doing with you? He had a wife, or at least a girlfriend or fiancee… He had a child… But he was going around with you? It was beginning to add up though… Why he always wanted to go over your house. Why he’d rather go to a hotel than to bring you to his own place. You felt absolutely sick. 

“Have a good night!” The girl chimed cheerfully as you made your way back to your car, the light from inside the house that had illuminated the front yard faded until you were covered in darkness. You were devastated, you were heartbroken… You had never felt more humiliated in your life and all you wanted to do was go crawl underneath a rock and hide there. 

///

The meeting with his ex wife the night before had stressed Chan out beyond belief. He couldn’t believe that after 8 years she wanted to fight for custody of Ella now. Her reasoning behind it would have been laughable if they hadn’t been so damn ridiculous. By the time he had gotten home though, Ella was already in bed and he was so tired from dealing with his ex that he had gone right to bed as well. By morning, Ella had already left for school, so he’d have to wait until he got off work and she got home from school to even talk to her about what her mother had said. 

Now, he was only looking forward to seeing you. You were the only person at this point who could calm him down and bring him some semblance of peace, at least for the short amount of time that he got to be with you. “Hey, lovely.” He called to you when he caught you walking down the hall. Usually you’d smile and wave, you’d even run over to him sometimes if the hall was empty. This time you just shook your head before lowering it and walking right by him. 

It was a shock to say the least, and his mind immediately jumped to the worst, although he couldn’t be 100% sure of what had happened that would cause you to be acting like this. Was it because of the hotel comment the day before? Was it because he wouldn’t let you come over to his house? It couldn’t be that though, he had talked to you about it. It had to be something more, but he couldn’t figure it out. You looked absolutely pissed, like you didn’t want anything to do with him. 

“Y/N!” He called out your name now, jogging down the hall to catch up with you, but you didn’t even look up at him, and you sure as hell didn’t slow down. In fact, it seemed like you sped up, like you were trying to get away from him. “Hey… What… What’s wrong? What happened? Are you okay?” He lowered his voice but quickened his steps to keep up with you, trying to duck down just enough to get a view of your face, but every time he got close enough you’d look away. 

“I don’t want to talk to you, I don’t want to see you. Whatever it was that you made me think we had, it’s over. I’d like it if you left me alone now.” You stated flatly, your arms tightening around the multitude of folders that you clutched to your chest. “I’m changing groups, I won’t be one of your staff anymore as well, so please, don’t bother me anymore.” 

Something had happened, and it wasn’t something that could easily be fixed like Chan thought. It was worse, way worse. You had basically fired yourself from being his group's staff because of whatever happened. “Hold on!” His fingers wrapped around your upper arm, stopping you from going any further. “So you’re just… Breaking up with me? You’re not even going to tell me why!?” His voice cracked as it rose in pitch, his chest rising and falling heavily as the panic fully set in. “I fucking love you, Y/N… You can’t just do this to me and not tell me why.” 

When you finally looked up, he could see your eyes were glistening, your bottom lashes bedazzled with twinkling tears that clung onto them. You were just as upset as he was. “Stop pretending, Christopher!” You croaked out, sniffling loudly once the words left your chapped lips. “I refuse to be the rebound chick that you think you can run to when your marriage is on the rocks. I won’t be strung along by you, not anymore.” You took a few deep, shaky breaths to compose yourself before you pulled your arm free of Chans hold. “Now, if you don’t mind… I have another group to meet. I have work to do. I do believe that you have some work to do as well.” You bowed your head to him before turning and walking away, leaving him more confused than he was before. 

His marriage… It had fallen apart years ago when he had come home to find his wife in bed with another man while his daughter was fast asleep in the room across the hall. It had been disgusting, heartbreaking, it would have been his downfall if not for his daughter and the moral, mental, and emotional support of the guys. He wasn’t sure why it was being brought up, he didn’t even know how you had found out, but that same feeling of devastation that he had felt 8 years ago was flooding him once again. 

The guys… They were the only ones who would be able to talk to you, they were the only ones who knew about the secret past that Chan was trying so hard to hide from you. Would they do something like that though? Would they hurt him like that? “Yo! What’s up?” Changbin said as he came up behind Chan, his arm draping over his shoulder. “You’re… crying? What happened?” The cheerful tone was immediately dropped, and even though Changbin was younger, he was in full protection mode. 

“Y/N… She… She broke up with me…. She knows about Sana…” He gasped out the words, each of them getting caught in his throat, it felt like he was choking. “Somebody told her… Someone… They had to have told her! Who!?” He was shouting now, his sadness turning to anger in a matter of seconds. The look of confusion of Changbins face was enough for Chan to know that he had no idea what Chan was talking about, and that in itself proved his innocence. That left 6 more guys to question. 

“Y-You know that none of us would do that to you… Why would we do that? You were happy!” Changbin quickly defended the others as well, seeing in Chans eyes that he was on the warpath and he wasn’t going to stop until he found out who had told you. “I… I do know she went to the studio last night after you left… She… She said something about your wallet but… Maybe she went to your house to drop it off and… and…-” 

“Ella…” Chan muttered out the name, a loud groan leaving him as his head fell back. “I have to go… Will you be okay? Can you run practice for me?” Now he was in a hurry, a hurry to get home, to talk to you… He had so many things he had to do, he didn’t even know where to begin. Changbin nodded his head, patting Chans shoulder before taking a step back. Truthfully, Chan didn’t know what the hell he was going to do… But he knew he had to do something. He wasn’t going to lose you… He couldn’t. 

///

“Sit. Now.” Chan said, not even giving his daughter time to fully come through the door before the words left his mouth. He had been sitting at the table, thinking over and over about how he’d go about bringing it up to her, but now that she was finally home, all of his thoughts had gone out the window and all he could feel was irritation. She rolled her eyes, dropping off her bag and kicking her shoes off like she did every day, heading in the direction of her bedroom. “Did you not hear me? I want to talk to you.” 

“About what?” She snapped, whipping around to face him. “About the lady that showed up on our front porch last night?” Chans eyes widened, he didn’t even have to drag it out of her, she wasn’t a liar… and for that, he was proud, he had at least taught her one good thing. “Did she dump you? Well good… You don’t deserve to be happy. Not after what you did to mom…” After… what he did…? He was stunned into silence, his head cocked to the side as he tried to think about what he could have possibly done to make him the bad guy in all of this. “She told me all about it, don’t try to act like you’re so innocent.” 

Those weren’t Ellas words, those were her mothers words and she was speaking them for her. “I tried so hard to protect your mother for some reason… So that you wouldn’t think badly of her… And this is what she does.” He mumbled, running his hand through his hair and sighing heavily. “Can you please sit? I really need to talk to you…” He stretched his legs under the table, pushing out the chair across from him and motioning to it with his head. He could see the reluctance, but she finally made her way over, dropping down into the chair, but not without an eye roll and a look of disgust. “I didn’t want to tell you the truth… I didn’t want you to see your mother as anything less than what she is… But I wasn’t the one who did anything. Your mother is the reason we’re divorced…” 

“You’re a liar… She said that you’d lie…” Ella mumbled, her arms crossing over her chest as she glared at her father. “Just like you lied to that lady. She didn’t even know I existed! You kept me a secret from her… Why? Are you embarrassed of me? Are you ashamed of me?” The sulky teenage attitude subsided, and he could see that she wasn’t just angry, she was upset. He never meant for it to be like this, he didn’t even think that something like this would happen. It’s not like he planned on keeping his daughter hidden forever… He just didn’t want to spring it all on you at the beginning of the relationship. 

“No! God, no… El… You are an amazing daughter, you’re smart and you’re funny… You’re the most wonderful thing I’ve ever created. I’m so proud of you…” He whispered, and he could see the tears beginning to form in her eyes. He should have told her these things a long time ago, maybe she wouldn’t be acting out, but it was too late, and now all he could do was try to fix things piece by piece. “I didn’t want to bring someone into your life unless I knew that it was serious… It’s one thing for me to be hurt… But I didn’t want you to potentially get close to her just for her to leave and hurt you too.” He swallowed thickly, taking a deep breath to prepare himself before continuing. “I divorced your mother… Because she cheated on me, Ella. Do you really think I would have gotten custody of you if it were the other way around? The man she married… That’s… That’s the guy… And they’re already divorced… And she’s already married again. She’s been married twice since the divorce, and I… I haven’t been with anyone until a couple months ago. Do you think that would be the case if I was the one who had screwed up?” He could see the gears turning in her mind as she thought about everything that he was saying, and he could see that it was all adding up. “Your mother wanted to meet up with me yesterday because she’s trying to get custody of you…” 

Ellas eyes widened and her head shook fast. “No… I don’t… I don’t want to leave. I don’t want to live with her, dad.” The words were rushed out, full fledged panic written across her features. “Don’t let her take me… I want to stay with you… I’m sorry… I’m sorry I told the lady that you were having date night with mom. I’m sorry that I ruined it… I’m sorry… Please don’t let her take me.” She was crying now, absolutely bawling, and it broke his heart to see his daughter so upset. 

He jumped out of his chair, running around to her side of the table and pulling her up into his arms. Right now, she wasn’t just a teenager with a bit of an attitude problem… She was his little girl, and he was going to protect her and he was going to keep her safe. He was going to fix everything, no matter what it took. “She’s not going to get you, she won’t win. You’re staying here with me… I promise.” 

///

“Have you gotten a hold of her?” Ella asked, dropping down onto the couch beside her father. It had been weeks since the last time he had spoken to you, but he had seen you in the halls at the building every single day. No matter how many times he tried to stop you and explain everything, you’d just keep walking like you didn’t know him at all. Ella could see that it was breaking him, and she knew that it was her fault. “I’m really sorry, dad…” She mumbled. 

Your picture was still his lockscreen, and every time a notification would pop up on his phone he would jump up, a single second of excitement and wishful thinking, only to be let down once he realized it was someone, anyone but you. “It’s okay… I’m gonna try to get some work done. Let me know when you get hungry, I’ll make us some dinner, yeah?” And she nodded slowly, waiting for Chan to get up and go into his little office before running to the front door and pulling on her shoes. If he wasn’t able to fix it, maybe she could. 

The walk to the building wasn’t too far, and she knew that, for the most part, whenever her father went into his office it was so he could cry in private. That usually lasted a couple hours, and she was sure that she wouldn’t need too much time. 

Everyone in the building knew her, they had heard so much about Chans daughter that she was looked at as an idol herself. They all welcomed her warmly, but she was on a mission. “Hi! Would you happen to know where an Y/L/N Y/N is? My dad sent me to make sure she got something.” She came up with it quickly, and no one seemed to question it either. They gave her the information just as fast and sent her on her way… It was far too easy… She’d have to talk to her dad about that. 

The ride up the elevator gave her enough time to think about what she would say, or at least a little bit of what she’d say. Truth be told, she was nervous. She wanted things to go well for her fathers sake, but she knew that the trouble she had caused and what she did could have irreversible damage. 

When the doors slid open, it was like fate had brought her here at this exact moment, because you were standing right outside the doors. “Oh… Uhm… I-I remember you…” You murmured, bowing your head to her before taking a step back. “I think you’re on the wrong floor though… Your father is a couple floors down.” 

Ella shook her head, stepping out of the elevator, trying to look like she wasn’t a nervous wreck standing in front of you. “I’m here to talk to you.” She said, her head held high just to exemplify the false feeling of confidence that she was trying to give off. “Are you busy?” 

“I’m very sorry if me being with your father created any problems. I’m not with him anymore though… And, with all due respect… I’m just trying to move on.” 

“That’s the problem though!” Ella blurted out as you moved past her and stepped into the elevator, turning around quickly on her heel to face you, her hand pressed against the elevator door to keep it from closing. “Him and my mother aren’t together… They haven’t been together for 8 years. I… I was upset because… I didn’t understand what happened… I didn’t know why my parents weren’t together and… My mom lied and… And I’m sorry. My dad really loves you… And he wanted me to meet you… And he’s been crying every night because I ruined your relationship because I lied just like my mom and I’m… I’m really sorry, ma’am…” 

She was once again crying, and you didn’t really know what to do, but it felt wrong to just stand there and watch her cry, so you hesitantly stepped out of the elevator and gave her the most awkward one armed hug. “It’s… It’s okay…” You murmured, and much to your surprise, she turned her body completely toward you and wrapped her arms around you. Whether there was a maternal bone in your body at all before this moment or not, you immediately felt the urge to comfort her, to make sure she was okay, to wipe her tears and tell her that everything would be fine. “Hey… Hey, let’s go to my office. We can get a drink and some tissues and then… I’ll take you home. Is that okay?” 

Ella nodded slowly, her face scrunched up and her bottom lip pushed out. She really did look like her father. “Will you talk to him?” She asked weakly, and as much as you hated him… Now that you knew the truth… It felt like the right thing to do, so you hummed in agreement to her question, leading her down the hall to your little office and pushing the door open for her. “Y-You know… You’re still his main picture on his phone. He’s waiting for you to text him or call him or something… He misses you so much.” 

You were sure that she didn’t mean to tell you so much, and you were very sure that Chan would be incredibly embarrassed if he found out that his daughter was telling you so much. “I’ll talk to him, I promise… Pinky promise.” You held out your hand, your pinky extended to her, and she quickly latched her finger around yours, a bittersweet smile tugging at her lips. 

“You are really pretty… He wasn’t lying… And you’re really nice too. I would be really mad at me if I were you…” She lowered her head, her entire body slouching forward as she sat in the chair across your desk. “Why aren’t you mad at me?” Her voice was below a whisper, her question genuine, and you didn’t really know how to answer it. 

“Well…” You began, your fingers drumming against your lap as you leaned back in your chair. “I don’t blame you for what you did… You’re a child and… And your parents divorced. I’m sure that any child would be upset if they found out either of their parents was dating someone else, especially if the kid doesn’t understand why their parents divorced in the first place. You were protected from the truth… But it made you do something that you regret. It’s still not your fault though, it’s no one's fault.” You reached across your desk, your hand faced up for her, and she slowly placed her hand in yours, the smile from earlier returning to her face, but this time it was just a little bigger and it reached her eyes. “Let’s go see your dad, yeah?” 

///

Chan had at some point cried himself to sleep while sitting in front of his computer, but the sound of a soft knock on the door had him jolting awake. “Dad?” Ellas voice came between the small crack in the door as she peeked inside, and he quickly wiped the sleep from his eyes as he got up from his chair, almost bringing his entire laptop with him since he forgot to take the headphones off. “I ordered dinner for us… It’s here.” She said between little giggles at the way he stumbled. It was nice to hear her laugh, he hadn’t heard it in a bit, not from anyone in the house. He wondered what had changed. 

“You didn’t have to do that, I would have cooked for us…” He said somberly, but he knew that she was doing it as a favor for him. He was a wreck, it was visibly noticeable that he hadn’t had more than a few hours of sleep in the past two weeks, he had bags under his eyes and his hair was a mess. He was a shell of the man that he once was when he had you, but he knew he had to get better, he wasn’t sure how he would do that, but it wasn’t fair to Ella to constantly be like this, it would only make her feel more guilty. “I’ll be right out… Thank you.” He said when she hovered in the doorway, and he watched her walk away. There was a bounce in her step, she hadn’t been this peppy in a while. He was genuinely curious and now he was rushing out of the little studio room so that he’d be able to sit down and talk to her, maybe he could find out what was going on. 

“I hope you don’t mind, I brought a friend over.” She said from the kitchen. He was adamant that he had never heard her bring up a friend, especially not one that would come over and visit. Was it a boy? She never mentioned liking anyone at school… Was she too scared to talk to him about those kinds of things? He made a mental note to sit down and talk to her about it one day this week. “Are you coming?” She called out and he hummed in agreement, trudging out of the little room with his head hung just a little. 

This wasn’t the first impression that he wanted one of his daughter's friends to have of him as her father. He wanted to look more respectable for the sake of Ellas reputation. It seemed like he didn’t really have a choice though, she was rushing him to come out, and he didn’t want to keep her and whoever she had over waiting. “I apologize, I wasn’t really told that you’d be coming over.” Chan began as he walked down the hall, and he completely froze when he saw just who his daughter had brought over. 

“I don’t think anyone really knew I was coming over.” You said lightly, the warmest smile spreading across your face as you looked at him. He couldn’t say anything, he couldn’t find words, all he could manage to do was open his mouth and croak out sounds as salty tears pricked his eyes. “Is it… okay… that I’m here?” You asked when the silence lasted longer than you thought it would, and he nodded his head fervently, wiping his eyes with the sleeves of his hoodie. 

“It’s… It’s more than okay… I just… I don’t know why… I don’t mind it though.” He rambled, looking between you and Ella who was currently setting the table for three people instead of the usual two. “You’re… staying for dinner?” He questioned, and you gave him that adorable, heart stopping smile that had stopped him in the halls of the building all of those months ago, the smile that had pushed him over the edge and made him fall for you in the beginning. 

“Yes she is.” Ella spoke up, clapping her hands together to get both of your attention. “Do you want me to eat in my room… So the two of you can talk? I’m sure you have a lot to talk about… I can leave you alone if you’d like.” But you shook your head, walking over to the table and playfully ruffling her hair before opening the takeout bag and pulling out the contents. 

“I’d like it a whole lot if you stayed and ate with us… But if you want to eat in your room… If your dad says it’s okay… Then you can.” You sounded so… sweet, the way a mother would talk to her own daughter, and the craziest part was that Ella smiled at you before taking a seat at the table, she actually listened to you… There was no attitude that came alone with it. “Are you just going to stand there and look at the food, or are you going to join us in eating it?” You asked, bringing Chan out of his own thoughts and back into the room. 

“Yeah… Yeah, I’m coming…” Chan whispered, walking into the dining room and taking his usual seat, but the aura at the table was a lot different now. It’s like the whole room had gotten 10 times brighter, and no matter which way he looked he was met with a warm smile. He had so many questions, but he knew that he had all the time in the world to ask them, and regardless of the answer… He knew that things would be better now, all of the pieces were falling back into place, and the picture was more beautiful than he had ever imagined it to be. 

~6 Months Later~

“You’re gonna absolutely crush this test, I know you will.” You stood at the stove, preparing breakfast as Ella sat at the table, her face buried in her text book to get as much last minute studying in before she had to go to school. “No matter what, I want you to remember that your dad and I are so proud of you and how hard you work. Okay? We love you.” Ella hummed softly, not even looking up from her book, but you could see that she was smiling, and that was enough of a response for you to know that she had heard you, that she was listening. You carefully placed her plate down beside her, lightly tapping the table to get her attention. “Please eat. Okay?” 

Chan ran out of the bedroom, his eyes barely even opened, his shirt wrinkled and twisted and his hair sticking up in all different directions. “Did she leave yet?!” He asked rather loudly, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and blinking a few times before focusing in on his daughter who was looking up at him, her shoulders shaking with silent laughter. “Don’t laugh, it’s not funny. I wanted to give you a hug before you left.” He pouted, and she quickly got up out of her chair, rushing over to Chan and wrapping her arms around him. “You’ll do great. I-” 

“No more speeches! You guys are going to make me cry!” Ella dramatically whined, pulling away from Chan and running back to the table to pack her things into her bag and then shoveling as much food into her mouth as she could before going to the front door. “Love you! I’ll see you later!” She mumbled with her mouth full of food, and before the two of you could say it back she was out the door. 

Once the door was shut, Chan walked over to you, his arms wrapping around your from behind as he rested his chin against your shoulder. “Hey…” He murmured, pressing a kiss to your cheek that was dampened by tears that you hadn’t even realized had begun to fall. “What’s wrong, lovey?” He cooed, gently turning you around to face him, his head cocked to the side. 

“I don’t know… I just… I’ve only been here for six months and… We’ve gotten so close and… She’ll be going off to college soon if that’s what she wants to do… But… I’m gonna miss her and the house is gonna be so empty and…” You pouted up at Chan who couldn’t help but find it adorable the way you were right now. It was the most heartwarming thing, to know that you loved his daughter so much already that you were crying at the thought of her leaving. 

“Well… We have the house to ourselves for a couple of hours… We could watch a movie or something to take your mind off of being sad… Or… We could go have some fun… Surprise Ella with a brother or a sister when she comes home from college…” Your eyes widened at the suggestion, but your feet were already moving in the direction of the bedroom, that all too familiar tingly feeling building in your stomach. “We can watch a movie when we’re done… If you’re not too tired.” 

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[cafelattaes]

beat you at your own game | hrj

summary : y/n has a crush on renjun, who's not that great with people. despite his standoffish nature, she makes an effort to be friendly. but things take a twist when she starts to ignore him.

pairing : renjun x fem! reader

genre : college au. romance, fluff, angst

word count : 3.5k

huang renjun, how exactly would you describe him? well, for starters, he can be a bit cranky. he's all about having his own space, not a fan of dragging things out, and gets things done in a flash. he’s also straightforward and not afraid to speak his mind. people have mixed feelings about him because of it. but oddly enough, it only adds to his charm, making people naturally drawn to him, much to his 'i'd-rather-not' demeanor.

needless to say, you just had to develop a crush on someone who’s the total opposite of you. you’re a people-pleaser; you’d much rather say things that would please others rather than express your genuine thoughts. confrontations make you uncomfortable, and you lean towards making excuses for those who hurt you on purpose. you also always try to avoid conflicts as much as you can, and resort to suffering in silence instead. you're trying to change that aspect about yourself, but you grew up having those traits, making it hard to break free. nevertheless, you're working on it.

you never intended to let renjun know about your feelings, but your friends were determined to embarrass you whenever he was around, constantly teasing you. it didn't help that despite not being close to renjun and his group, some of them were friends with your close friends, so they eventually joined in poking fun at your crush. one day, you decided to dismiss their incessant teasing and initiated a friendly conversation with renjun. at first, he responded out of courtesy. you weren't stupid though; you could tell that renjun was clearly fed up with his friends and wanted nothing to do with their antics.

he began to dislike being associated with you, offering only short responses and not acknowledging your presence more than necessary. you didn’t pay it much mind, since getting close to him wasn't your original goal. your aim was to ease the awkwardness and shed the embarrassment that accompanied your interactions. you happened to share some classes with renjun, coincidentally, those were the ones where both your friends weren't around. sitting next to him became a default habit, as he was the only familiar face in those particular classes.

one morning, you found yourself running late for your 8am class, prompting you to dash before your professor arrived. you accidentally collided with renjun, who happened to be holding an iced coffee. to your horror, more than half of the drink ended up spilling onto his shirt.

“oh my god, renjun, i’m so sorry!” you looked at him in fear, and it took everything in him to remain calm.

“why are you running around a busy hallway?”

“i’m really, really sorry. i’m late for my first class and i didn’t think i’d bump into anyone.” renjun let out an annoyed sigh.

“whatever.”

“wait!” you opened your bag to bring out your alcohol and wipes. “do you need them?”

“no, thank you.” he proceeded to walk past you, but you held onto his arm.

“what about the stain?”

“i have a spare shirt. can you let me go now? i thought you said you were late.”

“shoot, you’re right. i’m sorry again, i promise i’ll make it up to you!” you shouted as you ran.

“please don’t,” he grumbled.

later on, you found renjun at the library working on your assignments. you sat quietly next to him and began doing your own. he didn’t spare you a look and just carried on with his work. you spent a few hours completing them, and both of you got it done at the same time. as you got up to gather your things, you spoke to the boy beside you.

“renjun, do you have anything to do after this?”

“no.”

“do you want to try the newly opened diner just a few blocks away? my friends have prior commitments, and i wanted to make it up to you for spilling your coffee earlier.” you already knew he was going to refuse, but it wouldn’t hurt to still ask.

“sorry, i’ll have to pass. i need to get home quickly.” you nodded in understanding and smiled at him.

“no biggie. take care on your way home!”

“thanks,” he simply said before leaving.

“how are you and y/n? any progress? are you going out already?” jaemin asked teasingly, wiggling his brows.

“shut up. i want her to back off, honestly.”

“you want everyone to back off.”

“yeah, but most especially, y/n.”

“uh, why do you sound so annoyed with her?”

“because she is. i turned her down several times, but she can’t take a hint. nothing’s more annoying than someone who imposes themselves on others.”

“relax, man. you’re being a little too hard on the girl. you’ll see that she’s nice if you give her a chance.”

“what exactly is nice about her being fixated on me? it’s mostly your fault. if you guys weren’t such instigators, she wouldn’t have been pushy.”

you walked away from the scene, ensuring they didn’t notice your presence. you wiped away the lone tear that involuntary fell from your eye. it wasn’t often that you heard someone openly talk about their obvious dislike of you, and hearing it from the person you were supposed to like was quite disheartening. it wasn't your intention to impose your presence on him or force a connection that wasn't meant to be. you reckoned it was time to reevaluate your feelings and accept the need to let go of your futile crush on renjun, sparing both of you from any further confusion or misunderstandings.

renjun had grown accustomed to spotting you in your regular seat during your shared class. however, he was met with surprise when he noticed you had moved to a vacant seat considerably distant from your usual spot next to him. he was a bit confused at first, but chose not to dwell on it. he also noted that you didn't notice his entrance into the room, as you were engrossed in some task.

you continued to maintain a distance in your next classes with renjun. he was uncertain if you were oblivious to his presence or deliberately avoiding acknowledgement, given the lack of glances his way. he found it a bit strange that you refrained from initiating any form of interaction, but he didn’t mind. he thought he felt better. at least, for now.

however, renjun was not expecting your odd behavior to persist. it brought another surprise when you ignored him again the following day. even when your eyes accidentally locked for a second, you quickly averted your gaze. renjun wasn’t sure if you really didn’t see him or were just pretending not to. you weren’t wearing your glasses, and your eyesight wasn't the best. but even if you did ignore him on purpose, he didn’t mind… or did he?

it’s been a while since you stopped talking to renjun. at first, he thought he felt a sense of relief, thinking it gave him some space. but after a week, he was confused about why you suddenly stopped. the following week, he could feel his stomach churning seeing you leave class, secretly hoping you’d look back. then, the week after that, he felt a wave of anger because there were more than a few times he bumped into you purposely to get you to talk to him, but you did not utter any word other than a quiet apology. now, nearly a month later, he started to feel dejected because no matter what he did, you always acted like he wasn't even there. renjun wasn’t sure what he did wrong to make you so determined in avoiding him completely.

“renjun is going through 5 stages of grief,” jaemin started with a taunting smirk.

“what?” haechan looked at him in confusion.

“y/n has been ignoring him for a month.”

“WHAT? WHY?”

“exactly. i haven’t had the chance to ask her since we’re not close enough.”

“what about jeno?”

“he doesn’t want to pry.”

“maybe she got tired of renjun’s grumpy attitude,” chenle chimed in.

“maybe,” jaemin turned to the boy in question. “look at him, he’s miserable.”

“shut up,” renjun muttered in discontent.

“stop provoking him. this is his first heartbreak,” chenle taunted, making renjun roll his eyes at their ridiculousness.

“you know you can always speak to her first and ask her what’s up, right?”

“if she wanted to speak to me, she would’ve done it first,” his friends could only shake their heads in disapproval.

“don’t be stupid.”

“and i’m begging all of you to mind your own business.”

“be that way, and you’ll find yourself in an irreversible situation.”

"yeah, renjun, don't say we didn't warn you!" haechan added with a mischievous grin.

you kept quiet about what you had overheard from renjun in the last month, choosing not to share the details with your friends. you figured they would eventually notice renjun's absence from your life, and when they finally asked you about it, you dismissed their probing questions. you casually informed them that your crush on him had simply faded after getting to know him better. you were quite good at making believable lies, they were convinced by it and dropped the topic quickly.

unexpectedly, renjun sought you out in an empty classroom to confront you about your sudden disconnection. you looked like a deer caught in headlights when you realized who had just entered, walking in long and quick strides to your direction. in your mind, you were already conjuring up excuses to explain yourself.

“why are you ignoring me?” his question broke the silence, leaving you with no room to escape.

so much for attempting to evade this confrontation.

you took a moment to gather your thoughts, unsure how to respond. you tried to conceal your distress as renjun stared down at you while waiting for you to talk. it seemed like he was determined to stand his ground, expecting you to tell him the truth. with a frustrated sigh, you finally spoke up.

“i’m just staying out of your way,” you said after a moment of silence.

“yeah, so why?” his voice was demanding, it ticked you off a little.

you questioned why you were initially afraid of renjun confronting you and why you bothered coming up with excuses. after all, it wasn't his place to interrogate you when you were simply doing what he seemed to want from the start.

“i don’t know why you’re asking. isn’t that what you want? you should be happy.” you began to gather your things so you can walk off, but you heard him speak again.

“i don’t remember telling you to keep your distance. you obviously have a problem with me. what is it?”

“you don’t remember telling me because you didn’t. you told other people.” your tone laced with a hint of annoyance.

“that what?”

“renjun, i don’t get you. you keep brushing me off, you show your irritation with me so openly, and you tell everyone that you want me out of your line of sight. and now that i’m doing exactly that, you’re still mad at me? what’s your problem?”

“stop speaking in riddles and just tell me what's going on,” he said in an exasperated tone as you shifted to face him directly.

“last month, i was passing by the main library, and i overheard you talking to your friends. you mentioned something about me not getting a hint and wanting me to leave you alone,” renjun looked a bit puzzled at first. when you were about to walk away, his eyes widened in realization.

“no, y/n, i’m so sorry, i didn’t mean any of what i said-“ you shook your head lightly at his predictable response.

“don’t be. you were completely right, and i’m not even angry about it. i just don’t want to do anything with you anymore.”

“listen, i really am sorry. i blurted out those things in the heat of the moment. i regret saying them out loud, especially now that i know you were there to hear it… it’s really not what i think of you.”

“it’s fine, renjun. i didn’t tell you all of this to get an apology. i’m only telling you why i’m doing what i’m doing, like you asked, and to make it clear that i’m done.” renjun blocked your way hastily to stop you from leaving.

“hear me out, alright? back then, i was being overly sensitive. they were pushing my buttons, and i didn't know how to handle it. i messed up, treated you badly, and you didn’t deserve any of that. a month without you made me realize a few things. i had to confront what i really want and face some truths i'd been avoiding,” he paused, gauging your reaction before continuing. “i miss spending time with you, and, well, i realized i've got feelings for you. more than i thought. it never crossed my mind that you'd actually step away, and it hit me hard. the idea of losing you if you choose to walk away made me lose my mind.” your heart raced as he spoke, and his confession stirred up a mix of emotions. your confusion lingered, but you decided to reason through it, pushing aside the sincerity in his eyes as you gave him an incredulous look.

“are you… getting your feelings confused with something else? did you consider that maybe your mind is playing tricks on you, making you think you like me because you're used to others chasing after you?” he winced, trying to ignore the indirect suggestion that he might be a narcissist. it was a struggle for him to open up about his feelings, only for the girl he liked to question and imply that he couldn't understand his own emotions.

“i wouldn't be here questioning why you've been avoiding me for a month, and pouring out my feelings if i hadn't thought this through. it might be hard to believe right now, but if you give me a chance, i can prove it to you."

“i don’t think this is a good idea,” his face contorted into a pained expression. he felt lost, trying to find the right words to convince you. taking a deep breath, he gently held your shoulders, making you look up at him.

“please, just give me a chance to prove myself. i feel like i've wasted so much time.” the desperation was evident in his voice. still skeptical of his feelings, you removed his hands as they fell down to your arms.

“i’ll think about it.” you said before walking away, leaving a lingering sense of uncertainty in the air.

renjun’s friends had been observing him for a few days, and he’s become unusually quiet. they contemplated asking him what’s wrong, but they wanted to give him some space. it was glaringly obvious that something was bothering him, and he didn’t want to talk about it. jeno couldn't help but express his concern.

"renjun, you've been awfully quiet lately. everything alright?"

"yeah, i'm fine. just dealing with some stuff." jeno and jaemin exchanged knowing glances.

"we're here whenever you're ready to talk." jaemin assured, patting his back.

he had been feeling down since your conversation a few days ago. your words had been weighing on his mind and creating an internal turmoil. the fact that you continued to ignored him in all your classes didn't offer much comfort. renjun couldn't help but cast a longing look in your direction whenever he saw you. he was torn between regret and fear that he might have already ruined his chance.

meanwhile, his confession has been replaying in your mind. the idea of him reciprocating your feelings caught you off guard; it was something you never saw coming. after some contemplation, it became apparent to you that renjun really felt apologetic and was filled with remorse. could it be that he genuinely likes you? even if that was the case, you're still unsure whether it's the right move to start something with him.

maybe i should stop overthinking this.

you took a deep breath before releasing a loud sigh, unaware that the boy who had been occupying your thoughts, stood right in front of you.

“y/n,” you looked up to see renjun. you waited for him to speak, but it seemed like he was having a mental struggle, debating whether to say what was on his mind. he mustered up the courage to ask if you were willing to give him a chance. staring at him with an unreadable expression, he didn't know how to interpret the situation. was it a bad time to talk?

“why?” you finally asked. although renjun was hesitant, he answered.

“i was wondering if you already thought about what i said? i mean… i can wait if you’re still thinking about it.”

“if i say no, are you going to leave me alone?” your heart sank a little when his face fell. he didn't respond right away.

“well, if that’s what you want, i guess i would have to…”

“renjun,”

“yeah?”

“let’s give it a try.” his expression became hopeful.

“really?”

“yes. you said you liked me back, i’ll hold onto that for now. i just hope you won’t let me down.”

“i won’t.” a smile spread across his face as he enveloped you in a tight embrace. returning the hug, you savored the comforting feeling of his arms around you. "thank you for taking a chance on me," he said, the sincerity evident in his words and the embrace.

“i’m happy for them, i really am. but watching these two stare at each other lovingly is sickening.” giselle said, faking disgust.

“at least they’re just staring… you wouldn’t believe how clingy renjun gets when they’re at the dorm.” chenle remarked, your friends swiftly turned their heads around.

“spill.”

“he’s always attached to her, literally. there’s no other way to describe it.”

“huh… i thought it would be the other way around.”

“yeah, no. but i guess that’s just right, considering he didn’t give her the best treatment at first.”

giselle and karina chuckled at the revelation. intrigued by the dynamic between you and renjun.

"love can do wonders, huh?" jaemin grinned, nudging jeno.

"guess he learned his lesson," karina added, raising an eyebrow. "who would've thought?"

as the group watched the both of you, they exchanged knowing looks. it was obvious that renjun had gone through some changes, moving from his initial standoffish ways to being glued to the person he wasn't so kind to initially.

“i have the dorm all to myself this weekend.” you raised your brow at him.

“and what are you insinuating?”

“you know…” he continued with a suggestive look.

“i’m studying for finals week," you deadpanned.

“which is exactly what i’m suggesting. i find myself more productive when i’m with you.”

“quite the contrary. we don’t get anything done when we study together.”

“don't you want my hugs and kisses?” he pouted.

“not when i’m busy trying to finish school-related activities.”

“fine, i’ll behave.”

“you always say that. i don’t believe you anymore.”

“maybe i’ll be less clingy if you pay more attention to me. you’re always busy, you don’t have time for your boyfriend.”

“renjun, unlike you, i have to put in extra effort into studying to get good grades. i’m not as smart as you are.”

“excuses.” you rolled your eyes.

“you’re so adorable,” you cooed, grabbing his face for a quick peck. “i never imagined you to be the touchy and clingy type.”

“baby, there are a lot of things you don’t know about me.”

“like what?” you inquired with a playful smile.

“like how great i am at using my hands to make someone feel really good,” he whispered in a lower voice.

“oh?” you raised an eyebrow, smirking playfully.

“yeah. apparently, i give one heck of a shoulder massage,” you burst out laughing at his endearing silliness. the sound of your laughter made renjun pause and smile, as he took his time to observe you. suddenly, he felt an overwhelming surge of happiness. taking your hand gently in his, he pressed a tender kiss to your fingertips, capturing your attention and prompting you to look at him.

"you make me feel the happiest. i love you," he confessed, the sincerity resonating in his words.

your stomach flipped, the euphoria of hearing those three words from him for the first time washing over you. then it hit you- the unexpected journey with renjun had led you to a place you never envisioned. he, too, held the key to your happiness.

“i love you too.” you closed the distance between you two and your lips met his. as he wrapped an arm around your waist, you let yourself fall to his embrace, deepening the kiss.

renjun was met with the realization that while you fell for him first, he descended later, but with an intensity that surpassed a thousand falls.

[astaroth1357]

Oh God, What Have We Done??: Father!Solomon Headcanons

You know what? I'm a Solomon love-hater but I'll go to bat for him too. You could pick worse.

Contents: Unhinged Ms. Frizzle-style parenting, the horrors of human biology, possible pregnancy implications, fluff

~♡♡♡~

So. I can see this happening intentionally. Solomon craves a happy family, so I absolutely see the thought of rasing a kid with MC coming up once or twice.

That said, I think zero planning actually went into making it happen. This is a spur-of-the-moment decision made by two lovesick dolts. Not a damn thought was spared for the consequences, and it shows.

For starters, MC and Solomon both agreed to raise a child together while they were in the human world and told NOBODY ELSE. So from the outside looking in, they just left the Devildom for “training purposes” and returned with a random infant!

No call ahead. No fanfare. They both stepped out of the portal with a flying stroller and bottomless diaper bag, grinning from ear to ear like it all was just souvenirs from Disney World!

Naturally, all hell broke loose. The brothers were collectively hyperventilating, Simeon almost fainted, and Diavolo noticed that Barbatos wasn't moving or blinking, so the Little Ds had to carry him away like a malfunctioning android...

Does Solomon having a kid make him a grandfather…? He is not ready to ponder that thought. No one is.

Despite Mammon and Belphegor’s insistence they had to “Put it back!” after MC made it clear that raising a baby was what they wanted and that Solomon was there to stay, the brothers made peace with it… to varying degrees.

Asmo was the only one thrilled that his favorite humans now have an even cuter mini-human to take around because he'd get to try his hand at baby fashion design! The least happy was probably Belphegor because a baby means that MC is going to be way too busy to nap now. Plus, he had to deal with a lot more Solomon in his life, which very few people ever ask for...

The crew's reaction to the baby's development is actually pretty funny to see. Humans age much, much faster than their supernatural counterparts so, from their perspective, the new baby is growing at lightning speed!

Mammon was with them when they were teaching the baby to crawl and he started freaking out because, “How’re they movin' already!?” The first day their child came running, physically running, into the HoL without any help actually made Levi scream in fright.

The House had a complete meltdown when Beel was watching the child one day and they lost a tooth while eating some hard candy. They all thought that MC and Solomon were going to burn the place down, so imagine their surprise when the overjoyed parents kept congratulating their kid for losing a baby tooth...

And don't get any of them started on the growth spurts...

The one to take to the kid the most as they grew was, funnily enough, Lucifer. Most likely because their various milestones reminded him of when his brothers were doing the same things.

The child is more than happy to tell “Uncle Luci” anything, which he acts like he only tolerates, but in reality he loves being their favorite brother.

Barbatos is EXTREMELY protective of them. Nearly as protective as he is with Diavolo.

Their kid, of course, has no clue. He's just nice Uncle Barbie (he refused to be called Grandpa) who makes them sweets and watches over them in the Castle. But anyone who get too close while they're playing gets a stare down worse than all of Cerberus’ heads combined...

Mammon swore in front of them once and Barbatos strung him up so tightly that even Lucifer thought it was overkill.

Luke seems to enjoy having a baby sibling of sorts to look after, but he is going to be so upset when they get taller than him in the blink of an eye. He’s going to be their guardian angel for sure, btw.

As a father, Solomon is… spirited. Anyone can see that he’s ecstatic to be a parent, it’s just…

Well, years of isolation on top of being a once-in-a-lifetime prodigy may not have made him the most “in touch” with children these days, you know? MC has absolutely come home to find Solomon has propped up their 6-month-old with a stack of books to start teach them how to play chess.

Daddy-Baby adventure always end in spectacular fashion. Solomon is a very “hands-on science teacher” kind of guy with unwavering confidence in his abilities to keep his child safe. This, to be fair, isn’t unwarranted, however...

Does that mean you should make a plans to take your child to forbidden places for some sightseeing? Or let your child touch, paw at, and gnaw on any magic item that suits their fancy in the name of a making a new teaching experience...? Probably not, but it’s also how he learned so…

It must be assumed that whatever kid these two have, biological or not, will be a magic powerhouse of destructive proportions. All that training from Solomon himself since infancy? They'll have a wand in their hand before they can even work a fork!

I like to imagine that Solomon's kid would have a very, very hard time controlling their magic and it would get uncontrollable at times. Like, a sneeze could knock over a bookshelf or getting angry makes things go flying. But Solomon would never ever scold them for it like it’s they're fault.

He'd never make them feel the same isolation and shame that he did at their age.

It would be very, very sweet. But it also means that MC could come home to a flooded house and, instead of cleaning out the water, Solomon would teaching their child how to snorkel in the living room.

Pure chaos, but MC could never find a prouder father. Solomon would devote his entire being to giving their child all of the love and happiness they deserve. Their kid almost never sees him without a grin on his face, just ready to just wrap them a bear hug for no reason.

On quiet nights, he'd cradle them or rock them to sleep while holding back tears. MC has found him over their crib like he’s still trying to convince himself that they're real, that he's gotten this lucky.

He's not a conventional father. Hell, he's not a conventional human either. But he’s grateful for day he gets to be a parent... Every. Single. One.

[katelynnwrites]

You Look So Pretty (Pretty Like The Sun) | Sydney Lohmann

warnings: not proof read

word count: 2557

summary: after making your own name, you realise it's not enough because you are still missing your sunshine

a/n: i wasn't going to post this but i'm on a mission to leave all my bad writing behind in 2023 so here's part two of this fic

It’s with a certain amount of trepidation that you walk onto the Bayern Munich training pitch.

Both you and the facility have undergone a major change in the years that you have been away but one thing is the same.

You know when the love of your life is near.

It seems that the blonde can still sense your presence too because she looks up and visibly pales the second she sees you.

‘Sydney.’ You breathe but she shakes her head.

The German player’s eyes are wide and panicked.

You are torn between staying where you are, on the very edge of the pitch or making your way to her.

This is the closest you have been to her since the day she broke up with you.

Luckily or unluckily, your new manager spares you and calls your new teammates over so that you can meet them.

Seeing Magda and Pernille again is a welcome distraction.

The older women had practically adopted you as their own when you were at Chelsea and you sigh contentedly as they wrap you up in a hug.

‘I missed you two so much.’ You mumble.

‘I hope you’re prepared for dinner at our place tonight. You can tell us all about why you didn’t tell us you were coming to Munich.’ The Swede says.

Pernille gives her a fond swat, ‘Oh don’t sound so serious love.’

Conspiratorially, she turns to you and loudly whispers, ‘Magda just wants the chance to mom you again.’

You giggle at the defender’s immediate protests.

******

Meeting the rest of your new club teammates goes smoothly.

All except for one.

Magda and Pernille help with the introductions, easing you back into the Bavarian team.

For all your fame, you’re still shy so you are grateful for the help.

They’re not all new faces, most are familiar.

You grew up playing for the youth teams with Klara and Lea. Some others you know from international games or as opponents that you once played against in the Frauen Bundesliga.

It’s with laughter that you reunite with Lea, the older woman teasing you that you’re still shorter than her.

Your introduction does not last long but by the time you have properly met all of your new teammates, Sydney is nowhere to be seen.

And you hate how awful that makes you feel.

Maybe you didn’t make the right decision in coming back to Munich.

******

Sydney is still Sydney. That much you have come to realise. The blonde has grown up but at her core, she’s still who you fell in love with.

You are content to watch forever as she shines on everyone. There is never going to be anyone else like her. Sydney Lohmann is a singularity.

She shows up to training sessions just a fraction of a second early and drinks far too many coffees for her own good.

Her fancy footwork on the pitch puts everyone else to shame.

The sound of her laugh still makes you happy and her smile brightens up every room that she is in.

Unlike before, none of that is directed towards you.

These days, all she has for you is indifference and silence.

She doesn’t even look at you and from the only interaction you have had so far, the one from your introduction, the midfielder has made it clear that she doesn’t want you back at her club.

You try not to let it affect you or your performance.

The faking it till you make it must be working because you are all set to be a starter just two weeks after rejoining the Bavarian club.

******

Syd doesn’t start that particular game and it gives you an overwhelming sense of relief.

It’s already stressful enough to have to prove yourself good enough to start without adding on your standing with your former girlfriend.

You’re doing well against Köln and you’re proud of how you are adapting back to the German style of play, if you do say so yourself.

There is only about a half hour left of playing time when the blonde is subbed on.

She doesn’t look at you and you keep your gaze down.

Unfortunately, for her, her playing time is cut short. It is like a bad deja vu of her previous injury against Köln, a few years ago.

One second she’s jumping down for a header and the next she is on the ground, holding her ankle.

You hear her cry out and then you are sprinting.

Lina is already at her side and just before you reach her, you freeze.

Sydney doesn’t want you anymore.

So you stay away from her but just far enough that you can still see how she is.

It doesn’t look good.

The medics come on and it is agonising for you to have to listen to Syd’s pained whimpers and do nothing about it.

You are trying your hardest not to flinch when Lea comes up to you.

‘Go to her. She needs you even if she doesn’t know it yet.’ She quietly says.

‘Schülli…’

‘Go. I know you want to.’

Hesitantly, you approach the injured midfielder.

Sydney’s eyes are tear filled and when she sees you, she immediately stretches out her hand.

It is instinct for you to put your hand in hers.

‘You’re gonna be okay.’ You murmur soothingly and she closes her fingers around yours.

The blonde shuts her eyes, more tears escaping despite her best efforts.

You keep holding her hand until the medics signal that she needs to come off.

Your ex girlfriend cries even harder at that and you help her get to her feet.

The German woman stifles a whimper as she does so and you worriedly ask, ‘Do you want a stretcher?’

‘No! Please no.’

‘Okay. Lean on me then.’ You whisper and Syd nods.

She puts her arm around your shoulders and you wrap your arm around her waist, supporting her weight.

‘I got you.’ You assure her, as she limps towards the sidelines.

Once there, it is with great reluctance that you let her go, the medics taking over.

You look over at the bench where your manager is preparing the subs and you signal for you to be replaced.

‘I’m coming off too.’

‘No.’ The blonde snaps.

‘Syd this is not up for debate.’ You insist.

Your meaning and intentions are clear, making Sydney let out a frustrated noise.

‘No. You are going to stay on and be a star. Okay? Go be a star and play for us both.’

She squeezes your hand tightly, wanting you to know how much she means her words.

‘Are you sure?’

Your ex nods, ‘Go.’

‘Okay.’

Syd’s hazel eyes are filled with tears and she looks so vulnerable that you can’t help touching your lips to the side of her head.

‘I’ll score a goal for you. Promise sonnenschein.’

In running back onto the field, you miss the way she lets out a soft sob.

She doesn’t know if she cries harder because of the old nickname, the feel of your lips back on her skin or because of the way the pain in her ankle practically doubles once you are gone.

******

You keep your promise to the German midfielder.

Scoring not just one goal but two before the referee blows the whistle for full time.

Then you rush straight to the medical room where you had been told Sydney is.

You slow down, the clicking of your studs becoming quieter as you approach. Tentatively, you knock on the door before you open it.

Syd’s all alone, sitting on the bed with her knees drawn up to her chest.

Her injured ankle has been fitted with a moon boot and her face is pale.

‘Sydney?’ You ask softly.

‘Why did you come back?’

‘Because I wanted to check on you.’ You answer immediately.

The blonde scoffs, ‘Not here here but Munich.’

‘I don’t understand.’ You murmur even though your stomach drops because you understand perfectly.

Sydney’s eyes narrow with anger.

‘Don’t give me some bullshit answer. You were doing so well for yourself over in Barcelona so why come back? You left before so why return now?’

Her words are clipped, filled with more than just resentment.

You sigh. She still knows you too well.

‘You. I came back for you.’

Sydney’s face goes blank.

‘No. You came here to win the league. You have won the English and Spanish leagues. The Champions’ League and Euros too. This is just one more thing on your list.’

Wincing audibly, you take a step forward.

‘I came back for you. You and you alone Sydney.’

‘No.’ The blonde adamantly says, even as her bottom lip starts to wobble.

‘Syd…I came back for you. I promise I came back for you.’

You are pleading with her now, almost begging for her to believe you.

The midfielder searches your face for traces of lies, tears spilling down her cheeks as she does so.

‘No. No. You chose to leave and I wasn’t enough to make you stay before. Why would I be enough for you now?’

‘Sydney I never wanted to leave you. It broke my heart to leave Germany with how things ended between us.’

Raw pain is evident in your admission and now it is your ex’s turn to flinch.

‘Why didn’t you come back earlier? You could have played for Germany. We could have played together just as we promised to all those years ago.’

You shrug.

‘I was eligible to play for England too and you made it clear that you didn’t want to see me anymore. I know me being here is the last thing you want but I just couldn’t stay away from you anymore. Not when I never stopped loving you.’

Sydney loses the little composure she has left.

Harsh sobs wrack her body and she covers her face with her hands.

‘I’m sorry. I-I’ll go now.’

You turn to leave but the blonde chokes out your name and a plea for you to stay.

‘What?’

‘I never meant for us to break up. I never meant to push you away. Fuck I am so sorry. S-So sorry.’ Syd stammers.

‘Sydney what are you talking about?’

Your words aren’t unkind, just genuinely lost. The German player’s actions have been plain and constant ever since you left. They have been nothing short of obvious in recent times.

Sydney doesn’t want you.

The midfielder wrings her hands, her voice barely a whisper as she says, ‘I love you too. There’s not been a fraction of a second where I haven’t.’

You are floored.

Literally because you have to sit down.

You stare at her silently and the only sound in the room is your ex’s quiet cries.

Eventually her tears slow and she sniffles, looking up at you.

‘Say something.’ She breathes after the painful silence continues.

You don’t know what to say so you go over to her and sit down beside her on the physio bed.

Sydney is trembling but she tentatively wraps an arm around you, getting you to lean your head against her shoulder.

After a few minutes, you curl completely into her side and the blonde sighs in relief.

It is how the rest of the team finds you later, Lea smiling a secret smile to herself.

******

You end up going with Syd back to her apartment. She gives you her address and you drive her there in your car since she can’t do it herself due to her injury.

The blonde keeps stealing glances at you as you drive, wondering if she is dreaming.

She thinks it would be too much if she puts her hand on your knee the way she used to, when you were hers and she yours.

Sydney is so busy overthinking it when you slip your hand onto her knee.

You keep your eyes on the road the entire time but a smile forms on both your faces as Syd covers your hand with hers.

Neither of you have said a word to each other but that’s okay cause there will be time for that.

******

It’s after you have helped the blonde onto her couch and brought her a mug of tea that you realise whose jersey is framed on the wall of her living room.

The three lions crest is familiar, the last name and autograph even more so.

‘Sonnenschein that’s mine.’ You murmur.

Your former girlfriend sets her tea down and nods.

With growing curiosity, you inspect the match worn jersey.

‘From the Euro final in 2022.’ Syd confirms when glance at her.

‘How?’

‘I bought it at an auction. I think it’s the one you wore during the first half.’

You remember now, the England staff had got the team to sign the jerseys before sending them off to some charity organisation.

‘Why do you have it? I would have given it to you for free if you’d asked.’ You question.

You have so many of them that this is as good a place to start as any.

‘Because I was so proud of your achievement. Even if you had to beat me to win that gold medal.’ She explains, picking up her mug again just so that she has something to fiddle with.

‘And I didn’t ask you because I was afraid.’

‘Of me?’

You try not to sound hurt but it bleeds through anyway.

Syd’s hazel eyes gloss over.

‘Not of you. Never of you. J-Just how you would react I guess. Nothing like your ex girlfriend coming up to you after you’ve won your first piece of silverware for your country to spoil the mood.’

The midfielder lets out a strained laugh.

You frown, ‘You wouldn’t have. I wanted to approach you that day too but I didn’t know how. I thought you hated me.’

‘I could never.’

‘It felt like it.’ You softly say. She's, after all, been point blank ignoring and avoiding you ever since you resigned for Bayern Munich.

The blonde grimaces, ‘I’m so sorry.’

‘You said that I made you feel like you weren’t enough when I left for Chelsea. I’m sorry for that.’

‘You needed to leave. I get that now. Leaving Munich was the best thing for your career. Bayern might be my home but it wasn’t yours. I couldn’t see that at nineteen and I can’t tell you how sorry I am for letting my selfishness ruin us. I treated you the way I did all these years because of how guilty I felt.’

‘Sydney…you didn’t ruin us.’

‘Didn’t I?’ She hopelessly asks.

‘I played a part too. It wasn’t entirely your fault.’

The German woman looks defeated and sad. Her hazel eyes are downcast and her usually healthily pink cheeks are pale.

You sit down next to Sydney and take her hand in yours, ‘We’re not ruined. You are still here and I am still here.’

She squeezes your hand in hers, ‘A-Are you saying that you want to give us a second chance?’

‘Only if you want to.’

Your former girlfriend doesn’t need a second to consider it. Her mind is made up.

******

Sydney is pretty like the sun. You’ve always thought so.

Now that you have your sunshine back, you’re not leaving her again. She’s not letting you go again either.

German Translation:

sonnenschein- sunshine

[queenshelby]

The Basement (Part Two)

Pairing: Dark! Cillian Murphy x Reader

Warning: Smut, CNC, Anal, Rough, Derogation

Four weeks after you signed the contract, you arrived at Cillian's house which, at least from the outside, looked like every other house on that street.

You were greeted by a woman named Mandy who took your bag and gestured for you to come inside.

"You brought clothes, that's sweet," she chuckled, raising an eyebrow as she led you into the house and you simply nodded shyly, feeling slightly intimidated by the thirty something year old woman. 

"You know, you won't need them sweetie, so maybe leave them in the spare room for now," she then said, indicating a small room off the hallway.

Feeling like you had no choice, you quietly dropped your bag on the floor and followed Mandy down the corridor. The rich scent of expensive perfume filled the air, mingling with the faint aroma of exotic spices wafting from somewhere deeper within the house.

"Uhm, may I ask who you are? I didn't expect anyone but Cillian to be here," you said hesitantly, trying to get more information about your circumstances.

"Oh! That's right, you don't know me yet, do you?" Mandy replied coyly, winking at you. "I'm Mandy, a friend of Cillian's and I'm going to look after you for the next two weeks," she added cheerfully before taking your hand and leading you downstairs to the basement.

"Where is Cillian?" you asked Mandy as your heart pounded wildly against your chest. You couldn't help but feel anxious about what was coming next; the prospect of being trapped in this home for two whole weeks was terrifying but also strangely arousing.

"He's out at the moment, but will be back in a few hours," Mandy stated. "He asked me to get you ready for when he returns," she added, leading you down a winding staircase until you reached a dark but spacious room, containing a big, beautiful bed with chains, a leather chair, and a mirror on each wall. There was also a spa bath and small ensuite and whilst the room was nicely decorated, the sight of your windowless surroundings made your stomach churn nervously.

"What do you mean ' getting me ready'?" you then ought to ask, swallowing hard and Mandy smiled kindly at you. Her tone was soothing, almost maternal.

"Well, for starters, I will talk you through what you can expect from your stay here and then he has asked me to restrain you for your first encounter with him, just to make things more interesting," Mandy explained, reaching out to stroke your cheek gently. You flinched away instinctively — Mandy chuckled softly.

"You read the contract before signing it, didn't you?" Mandy asked, cocking her head slightly to one side, her brow furrowed in concern. The question hung between you—a loaded gun aimed straight at your guilt. Your eyes darted toward the corner of the room, avoiding any confrontation with the older woman.

"Yeah, I did," you finally admitted, mustering all of your courage. 

"Good, then you should know what is about to happen," Mandy said, patting your shoulder reassuringly. "So, how about you undress sweetie, so that I can apply the restraints properly?"

With a weak nod, you began to unbutton your shirt while Mandy turned around. It felt strange to undress while someone else watched, especially since you knew what would happen once you were completely nude.

As you slipped off your shirt and pants, leaving only your underwear on, Mandy cleared her throat loudly before turning to face you again.

"Very nice, darling," she murmured, looking you over appreciatively. "Are you comfortable with wearing nothing at all?" Mandy asked, her voice softening. "If not, we can cover you up with a robe, if you prefer."

She seemed genuinely concerned about your comfort, which struck you as odd considering the circumstances. However, there was something oddly comforting about her gentle, patient manner. It made you trust her enough to respond honestly.

"No, I guess I'm okay with being naked," you managed to say weakly. "It feels weird, though."

You could see Mandy smile at your response, her expression warm and understanding. "It does, doesn't it?" Mandy responded sympathetically. "But I guess it makes things easier access wise," she then told you while you began to remove your bra and panties, leaving behind the stark reality of your vulnerability.

Mandy's gaze wandered across your body, taking in every curve and line. "Beautiful," she whispered under her breath. "You have such stunning curves, no wonder Cills took an interest in you."

The compliment left you feeling both flattered and embarrassed. "Thank you," you muttered awkwardly, averting your gaze to the ground.

"Now, please put your wrists behind your back," Mandy instructed in a soothing voice. You hesitated for a second before complying, apprehensive about what would happen next. You clumsily interlocked your fingers, feeling the cold metal touch your skin as Mandy attached the first chain. "How tight is this supposed to be?" you whimpered, squirming uncomfortably.

"Just right," Mandy answered confidently, tightening the chain further.

"A bit uncomfortable, but not too much." You tried to relax your shoulders, but the cold metal digging into your flesh made it impossible, which was something Mandy ought to ignore.

"Now lets talk about the particulars, shall we?" Mandy started, sitting you down on the edge of the bed. "Cillian asked me to go over some details with you so that you know exactly what to expect during your stay," she explained, her tone warm and friendly. "The first thing is that you'll be staying in this room for the entirety of your stay, unless he decides otherwise. All meals will be delivered to you and the bathroom is equipped with everything you might need, including fresh towels and toiletries."

You glanced around the room, noting the luxurious amenities.

"Now let me tell you what is expected of you, little one," Mandy spoke in a calming voice, her hands resting on your shoulders. "Cillian will come down here four or five times a day, to... entertain himself with you. This includes intercourse and anything else he wants to do. Anything he asks for, you do. No questions asked."

You swallowed hard, the lump in your throat growing larger by the second.

"Occasionally, he asks me to join in or hold you down for him," Mandy added casually, checking the chain's tension. "He will like to watch you struggle a bit and I can guarantee you that you will become rather sore after the first few days. But it's all part of the fun, isn't it?" Mandy said, patting your bare leg gently.

"Now you consented to him ejaculating inside you and the doctor has given you a depo shot two weeks ago to make sure you don't get pregnant. You also consented to anal sex and you agreed to him having sex while you are asleep, for which sleeping pills were prescribed to you, correct?" Mandy asked, her voice matter-of-fact.

"Uh-huh," you croaked, nodding feebly. Your throat constricted painfully, your breathing shallow and ragged.

"Good," Mandy nodded approvingly, patting your knee. 

She paused, her tone turning softer. "Also, you understood that you are forbidden to masturbate or play with yourself, yes?"

"Yes," you managed to utter, blushing profusely.

"Good," Mandy said, patting your knee affectionately. "Now I will let you relax. Cillian should be here soon," she reassured you and you gave Mandy a weak smile, nodding in agreement.

The thought of enduring countless sexual encounters with Cillian, without any chance of escape or even self-pleasure, terrified you. Yet, a strange sense of anticipation began to wash over you. What kind of person would choose to endure such humiliation willingly?

The thoughts swirled in your mind, creating a whirlpool of confusion and doubt. You tried to rationalize what lay ahead, grasping at straws to justify your decision. Was it curiosity, perhaps? Or was it the lure of his fame that enticed you into this predicament? Regardless of the reason, you found yourself submerged in a sea of desperation as you faced the inevitable truth. You sighed heavily, casting a longing glance at the door, willing it to swing open and reveal the object of your fascination.

As the minutes ticked by, your impatience grew, gnawing at your insides like a ravenous beast. You were chained to the bed, naked, and time seemed to slow down, the seconds stretching into eternity until, suddenly, the door creaked open.

"Alright, little one," Cillian murmured, stepping into the room as he shut the door behind him. His presence sent a shiver down your spine, the mere sound of his voice causing your heartbeat to race.

"I can see that you have settled in nicely," Cillian said, his voice husky, as he walked closer to the bed. His eyes, bright blue, held a hint of excitement as they scanned your body.

You nodded silently, your throat constricting. Words failed you, replaced by a tumultuous mix of emotions. Fear, anticipation, shame, and arousal swirled within you, creating a whirlwind of sensations.

"Why don't you turn onto your stomach for me?" Cillian suggested, his voice calm and confident.

Your heart raced, but you managed to roll onto your belly, facing away from him while the chains twisted tighter, the rope tangling up at the bedhead.

"Perfect," Cillian murmured, running his fingers along your spine while caressing your upper thigh.

His touch sent goosebumps dancing up your arms, and you shivered involuntarily.

"Now tell me," Cillian prodded, his voice dripping with wicked intent. "Have you ever had anal before?"

You swallowed hard, your voice barely audible.

"N-no, I haven't," you stammered, your heart hammering against your ribs. 

"And yet you agreed to it," Cillian murmured, his voice laced with a hint of satisfaction. "This should be interesting, then," he chuckled, his eyes twinkling with anticipation.

"Please," you whimpered, the word escaping your lips like a plea for mercy. "Just don't hurt me when you put it in there," you begged and Cillian's laughter echoed in the room, filling the space with an unsettling energy.

"Don't worry," he soothed, stroking your back gently. "I promise to be gentle. At least at first," Cillian murmured, his fingers trailing up and down your spine.

"You're trembling," he observed, pausing to brush loose strands of hair away from your neck. "Is it because you're scared?"

'A little,' you manage to squeak out, your breath hitching in your throat.

Perhaps it's the thought of the unknown, or the realization that you're bound to a stranger, powerless to escape his whims. Cillian smiles, his teeth white and perfect, the corners of his eyes crinkling with amusement.

"Don't be, I will ease you into it," he assures you, placing a warm hand on your back. "I might fuck your pussy a little bit first, that should loosen you up," Cillian said, unbuckling his belt and pulling down his pants, revealing his erect cock.

"And while I fuck your little pussy, I might start stretching your asshole with my finger," he continued, moving onto the bed.

"We'll see how that goes," he teased, crawling up behind you.

You gasped, the sensation of his throbbing member rubbing against your hip sending a jolt of anticipation rippling through your body. You could feel your juices pooling between your legs, soaking the thin mattress beneath you.

"Let's see how much you can handle," Cillian murmured, guiding his cock towards your entrance.

You braced yourself, your muscles tensing as you waited for the entry. He pushed, his length sliding effortlessly into your wet heat. Your moan echoed in the silent room, a muffled cry of pleasure reverberating off the walls.

"That's it," Cillian growled, each thrust driving deep within you. "Fuck, you are so tight," he groaned, his hips moving rhythmically, pistoning in and out of you. Each stroke sent waves of pleasure crashing through you, your muscles quivering with desire.

"Good girl," Cillian purred, his grip tightening possessively as he thrust deeper. "Take it all, baby. Show me how much you want it."

You moaned, your voice hoarse and desperate while Cillian groaned, his pace quickening.

"You're so wet, so hot," he moaned before pulling out of you abruptly.

"What are you doing?" you cried out, your voice cracking with frustration.

"Shhh, little one," Cillian murmured, stroking your back soothingly. "Relax, I'm just preparing you for what's to come," he said, kneeling between your legs, pulling you onto your knees so that your chain hands were resting on the bedhead.

He then thrusted in to your pussy again, harder than before, ramming into you like a jackhammer.

"That's it," he growled, his voice laced with lust. The room was filled with the sounds of your grunts and the slap of flesh meeting flesh.

"Now I will spread your ass cheeks apart. alright?," Cillian murmured, his voice laced with anticipation and you gasped, your body stiffening in anticipation. "So that I can see your little virgin hole back there," Cillian he then told you, squeezing your cheeks apart roughly.

You winced, your body protesting as he rubbed your asshole with his index finger, coating it with your pussy juice, making it slippery.

He then pressed his fingertip against your sphincter, applying gentle pressure. 

You flinched, your body resisting the invasion. 

"Relax," Cillian murmured, his voice thick with lust. "I'm just getting ready to stretch you out," he told you as he slid his finger into your rear, breaching the barrier with a gentle pop. 

You gasped, a wave of discomfort washing over you.

"That's it," Cillian purred, his voice laced with anticipation.

"I'm just testing the waters," he said, adding another finger, widening the gap. "Can you feel it spreading wider?" he murmured, his voice husky with lust.

"It hurts," you whined, squirming beneath him.

"I know, baby," Cillian murmured, his voice thick with lust. "Just breathe through it," he said, pressing a firm kiss to your collarbone. "You're doing great," he praised, his voice laced with adoration.

You inhaled deeply, letting out a shaky sigh as you adjusted to the intrusion.

"Good girl," Cillian praised, his voice laced with satisfaction. "Now, lean forward onto your elbows," he instructed, slipping his fingers out of you.

"I want to prepare you for my cock," he said, stroking your back soothingly.

Without hesitation, you complied, leaning forward onto your elbows, presenting your sore little hole to him.

"Good girl," he cooed, kissing your back. "This might feel a little cold now," he warned, lubing himself up with a generous amount of K-Y Jelly. He then positioned himself behind you, his hard cock pointing directly at your ass.

You shuddered, bracing yourself for the impending invasion. He grabbed your hips tightly, holding you steady as he rested the tip of his cock against your opening.

"It's going to hurt a little," he murmured, his voice thick with lust. "But remember, it's all part of the experience," he reminded you, his words a whisper against your ear.

You closed your eyes, taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly.

"Ready?" he asked, his voice low and gravelly. You nodded, your heart pounding in your chest.

Suddenly, he thrust forward, the head of his cock breaching your entrance.

"Oh god fuck, you are too big," you screamed, your muscles spasming in shock.

"Shhhh, baby," he murmured, his voice softening. "Just breathe through it," he repeated, pressing a tender kiss to your exposed neck. "You're doing great," he praised, his voice thick with adoration.

Cillian continued to work his cock into your rear, inch by excruciating inch. His rhythmic, deliberate movements felt as though he was carefully sculpting you, carving his path deeper and deeper.

"It hurts," you yelped, your voice breaking. "Fuck!" you spat, squirming beneath him. 

"Shhh, baby," Cillian cooed, his voice thick with lust. "This is what you wanted, right?" His words were meant to taunt you, but they served a different purpose altogether.

"You wanted me to use you," Cillian murmured, his voice soft and soothing as he pushed all the way into your rear.

"To claim you, own you, and fuck you however I wish."

You whimpered, your muscles clenching involuntarily. Every push sent a sharp pain shooting through you, but it was accompanied by a growing sense of fullness which felt strangely satisfying.

"Tell me what you think about me using you like this, Y/N," Cillian breathed into your ear, his hot breath fanning your neck.

The command, so blunt and demanding, left you stunned, unable to form coherent words.

"Come on, little one," Cillian urged, his voice softening. "Tell me how it feels."

You struggled to find the words, your voice cracking as you forced out a reply.

"It feels strange," you croaked, your breath hitching in your throat. "Fucked up, actually."

Cillian chuckled quietly, his warm breath fanning your neck. "I bet it does," he murmured, his tone dripping with smug satisfaction. 

"What else?" he asked, his voice husky with lust.

Cillian's question hung heavy in the air, a weighty reminder of the depth of your surrender. You squirmed, feeling his erection pulsating inside you, filling you up in ways you never imagined possible.

"It feels dirty," you confessed, your voice breaking. "Like I'm just your toy," you said as your voice trembled, a quiet whine echoing in the room. 

Cillian laughed, his voice deep and rich with satisfaction. "Exactly," he replied, his tone laden with triumph as he thrusted into you again, hard and fast.

You gasped, your body responding despite the agony coursing through you.

"You're mine now," he proclaimed, his voice echoing with confidence. "My little toy."

The words stung, yet there was a bizarre sense of satisfaction in knowing that you belonged to him, body and soul.

"Oh god, why am I enjoying this?" you asked, your voice strained and desperate as the pain increased. "Why do I crave more?" you asked out loud, confused by your emotions. 

Cillian smirked, his eyes gleaming with mischief.

"Well, clearly you like being dominated, controlled, and used," he said. His words cut deep, but there was a strange allure in the idea that you were a natural slave.

You felt ashamed, disgusted, and utterly helpless as you accepted the truth. You were indeed a natural slave, thriving under the control and domination of others.

"I think you enjoy it even though it hurts, don't you?" he asked, his manhood relentlessly plunging into your ass. With each brutal thrust, you could feel your resistance melting away as the intense pleasure consumed you.

"No, I don't," you lied, your voice cracking. But deep down, you knew he was right. You did enjoy it - the roughness, the pain, the complete submission to his desires. It was liberating, freeing you from the constraints of societal norms and expectations.

"You're a liar," he growled, his fingers gripping your hips tightly. "Admit it, you love being dominated and controlled."

"Oh god," you panted, feeling your insides tighten around his massive shaft. 

Cillian chuckled, his voice deep and dark as he pulled out slightly, before slamming back into you, sending a jolt of pain through your core.

"Your ass is going to be so sore after this," he gloated, his cock thrusting mercilessly into you. "It's going to hurt a lot actually," he teased, grinning wickedly while you moaned at the sheer thought of it all. 

"And guess what? I won't let you cum until you've earned it so the pain will be even worse," Cillian said, his voice dripping with wicked delight. "You'll beg and plead for release, but it won't come until I say so."

You shivered, the prospect of endless torture exciting you beyond measure. This is what you signed up for, you reminded yourself. A man who possessed the ability to dominate and control you completely. The idea thrilled you, sending a surge of adrenaline coursing through your veins.

"Now, I need you to hold nice and still for me while I fill your little hole with my seed," Cillian murmured, his voice thick with lust. "Are you ready for me to mark you as mine?"

You nodded, your heart racing with anticipation. As Cillian withdrew his cock, you felt a sense of loss, a void forming within you that only his presence could fill.

"Put your face down in the pillow," Cillian ordered, his voice commanding. "I'm going to slide in deep now, baby," he said, positioning himself behind you once more.

"I want to feel you squeezing my cock with your tight little channel, begging to be marked with my seed."

You could hear the hunger in his voice, a palpable force that resonated loudly through the room. The thought of being claimed, owned, and possessed by him excited you beyond belief. You moaned softly, arching your back in anticipation.

He rammed his cock back into your now gaping rear with such force that it hurt, causing you to scream out in pain.

"Ah! Fuck!" you yelled as tears welled up in your eyes from the intense penetration.

"Good girl, let me hear those pretty little screams of yours!" Cillian roared, his words punctuated by the forceful thrusts of his cock. 

You grimaced, biting on the edge of the pillow to muffle your cries. "Ow! Ah!" you groaned, your voice muffled and shaky. Despite the mounting pain, you couldn't help but revel in the sensation of being thoroughly taken by someone so unrelenting.

"Here it comes, baby," Cillian rumbled, the words vibrating against your skin as, with a final, triumphant thrust, he surged into you, filling you to the brim with his seed.

You cried out, the sudden influx of warmth overwhelming you.

"There we go," Cillian murmured, a satisfied grin playing across his lips. "Now tell me, how does it feel?" he asked while withdrawing his cock slowly, causing your gaping hole to shrink almost instantly.

"It burns," you whispered, your voice quivering as you felt his hot semen leak out of you, staining the bedding beneath you. "But I loved it," you admitted, the words tasting bitter on your tongue.

"I knew you would," Cillian chuckled, his voice dripping with pride. "Now you're mine."

You flinched, a wave of dread washing over you. Now that it was done, the reality of your situation hit you like a ton of bricks.

"What happens now?" you asked hesitantly, your voice trembling.

"It's simple, really," Cillian replied nonchalantly, his voice laced with amusement. "I'll continue to use you as I please, whenever I please. And you'll learn to accept your new role as my pet," he explained before giving you a quick wink and untying you from the bed. 

[gracejh08]

Breaking the media

Chapter 4- moving on in

Your alarm rang at the ungodly hour of 7.30 you quickly shut it off and forced yourself out of bed training didnt start till 9.30 but knowing you its going to take atleast 2hrs to get ready. You wandered into the small kitchen and realised that you needed to go shopping you had been so caught up in being ready for training that you hadn't had the chance to get shopping. Your first thought was to just find the nearest shop and buy what you needed however you thought going to a local cafe was a smarter choice and would be better than your terrible cooking skills.

It didnt take long for you to find a cafe with the help of Google maps and being placed in a busy small town. The cafe you had found was very reserved and ran by an old spanish women which was happy to greet you as you stood with your Barcelona sweats on and a giant backpack filled with your training kit. "Thank you so much, how much is it" you asked after having the best avocado on toast you had ever tasted and a mocha that was brew to perfection "its on the house dear, you're welcome back anytime" she said clearling you plates away "no no please let me pay" you practically begged the older women to let you pay but she refused.

After excepting your fate and enjoying your time in the cafe you forgot to check the time and saw it was 9.10 am you'd spent an 1hr in the cafe "shit" you mumbled to yourself and waved the old women goodbye. Now if miracles exists this was one you were 25 minutes away from the training ground and somehow you had made it there for 9.25. With 5 minutes to spare you walked into the changing room to find that you were the last one in and everyone was waiting for you. You knew that wasn't the best impression but atleast you weren't late "captain im so sorry, i didn't mean to show up so far behind i wont do it again" you pleaded to your new captain as you had a feeling she was ready to snap at you from the gaze she gave you "dont apologise its okay just next time be earlier, its your first day dont stress" she said and put a hand on your shoulder in reassurance.

Training had gone well for you, you had very quickly proved yourself to fit to the rumors of being a promising young talent. If football was a language you were fluent everything made sense to you the way the ball moved at your feet it was natural. Everyone was fairly impressed with your skill "you worried luce" mapi joked digging her elbow into lucys side "don't even" she said deadpanning her face of course lucy was the starter over you but you were definitely a threat you were half of lucys age and developing quicker than ever. You walked back to the changing room and got changed quickly sending everyone a goodbye before heading off the walk home as you needed to shop.

This is when lucy needed to bring up your living suitation but she had no power to get this changed she needed to tell alexia "ale, can i talk to you" she said dragging the spainard to the side of the room "sure whats up" she said back "its about y/n" lucy said trying to figure out whats the best way to word this "whats wrong?" Alexia responded her eyebrows knitted together she cared for you and she didnt understand why she was so protective over you even though the two of you rarely spoke, you rarely spoke to anyone unless it was for a drill. "Ermm so basically she's living by herself the team have bought her an apartment and shes been walking to the training ground.. and like yes i know she probably can take care of herself. But shes 16.. and" lucy was rambling "what? She's living by herself she knows no spanish and probably doesn't know how to wash her clothes... we've got to sort this" alexia said almost shocked in the stupidity of the management team what were they thinking a 16 year old by herself.

Alexia had went to talk to jona after she told lucy she would sort out the issue, "jona were abouts does y/n live?" She questioned him "its in de la tres torres apartment 4b" he said "why?" "Im going to check up on her and tell her she is moving in with me, im not having a 16yr old live by herself in a foreign country" she said back firmly grabbing her car keys out of her bag and storming off to the car park before jona could protest against the captain l, you were living with her she didn't care she had a spare room and was quite happy to share it as she wouldn't mind the company on her days off. She drove to your apartment parking her car outside she was preparing for your stubborn attitude to not be willing to leave as she knows how teenagers can be.

It was 5.30pm when the knock came at your door you were about to head off shopping so you had no idea who it could be. You opened your door to find alexia stood outside "am i in trouble?" You questioned it would be the only reason she was at your door "no course not how about we have a seat" she said as you brought her to your sofa "nice place" she commented glazing around the room it was nicely decorated but it wasnt a home "yeah its alright, just a bit lonely sometimes" you said sitting down next to her. "So i was wondering if instead of living here by yourself, you come and live with me in my apartment i have a spare room and it would be much nicer and you would have less responsibility" she began "ermm i dont know captain i dont wanna crash your place.. honestly im fine here" you said almost believing your own words. You weren't fine in that apartment you had no idea how to live by yourself but you didnt want to burden alexia with your problems or with your presence. "No no pequeña, please come live with me honestly it would put me at peace of mind that you are well fed and rest" she said back "really?" You questioned you almost couldn't believe she cared that much for you "of course but please stop calling me captain and call me alexia or ale whatever one" she said almost jokingly.

You had agreed to stay with her and you began to pack but it was getting late and you hadn't eaten yet "umm ale.. alexia can we just go now im really hungry and have no energy to finish packing" you said walking into the living room where she was lay on your couch "of course pequeña how about tomorrow you come back after training then call me when you're finished packing" she said looking up to you. You just nodded you were so tired and it was only 6.30. She brought you to her car and you slipped into the passenger seat the drive was longer than you had expected it was a 30 minutes away yet thats all it took for you to drift of asleep in her car your head resting against the window. Alexia looked over to you her heart almost melting at the sight she knew how hard this must be for you and yet you still hadn't spoke to anyone. The car had pulled into alexias driveway and just as she turned the car off you had stirred awake from your sleep "we're here amor how about you get your bags from the boot" she said getting out the car and made her way to open the door to her house. Her house was beautifully furnished it was so her stylish yet not over the top you couldn't believe you were going to be staying in her home. "How about you start putting your stuff in the bedroom while i cook us some food" she said as she showed you to your new room.

The dish was simple it was just some pasta but it was so tasty you had been craving a home cooked meal. "Thank you so much" you said as you moved to wash your plate in the sink, "no worries amor just wash your dish then you can head off to sleep and i will wake you up" she said giving you a smile. You had climbed into bed this time the sheets felt a lot more comforting and your bed felt so much warmer you had fell asleep with ease. Alexia had came up to check on you but as she peeked her head through the door she found you passed out asleep and she decided to let you sleep.

[hoony2k]

HOLD THIS FOR A SEC!

You hand them your beverage and excuse yourself for a moment. How will they take care of your drink?

PAIRING: 7/7

GENRE: fluff

WARNING: none. no specific drink is mentioned

NOTE: old post that I dusted and renovated thumbs up emoji

★ HEESEUNG

He's a perfect choice, just look at his physique- broad shoulders, slender body and limbs. plus, he's incredibly good at communicating with his eyes. he can go from Bambi/doe eyes to smug and overconfident in seconds. He's going to interact like how he does normally and will use his body language to scare people he mistrusts. Like Sunoo he will hold your cup and unlike Sunoo it doesn't exactly look natural but it does get the message across that his sharp eyes are cautious. the moment you return, his expression will return to normal as he gives you a bright smile.

★ JAY

not the first time someone has asked him to do this, just look at him sweet guy with such a trustworthy personality. Takes it casually, and doesn't make a big deal out of it. Keeps the cup close but not too close to it indicating that the seat next to him (yours) is taken. If someone tries to come sit on it or leans close enough to be suspicious- he will very rudely and bluntly call them out. "Don't lean over me to order. Can't you see there's space on the left? " Someone's already sitting here." A classic "can I help you?" "Do I know you?" Guy

★ JAKE

He takes his job very seriously. He's not dramatic about it but his eyes do NOT leave your drink and seat. If someone's talking to him, he'll respond normally but will spare quick glances at the person. Keeps his eyes glued and actually loves that you trust him enough with such a task so he wants to ensure you'll feel comfortable and safe enough to ask him again in the future. Eventually pulls your drink closer just in case-can't take any risks even if no one is 3 feet around. i love him

★ SUNGHOON

A goofy guy, a prankster if you will. Tells you not to worry and by the time you leave the gears and cogs in his brain are already turning. He'll keep an eye out but he's going to test your beverage to see if it's good. if he hates it, he'll pull a face and then get you a new one. why would you drink something so disgusting? Goes to the kitchen to get you a new beverage from the fridge. When you return, he doesn't warn you about a change in taste. You ask what the hell happened to your previous drink and he simply gives you a thumbs up and says a fly fell in.

★ SUNOO

Doesn't matter what the setting is or if he is around people he knows. He'll place his cup on the table, pick up yours and pretends its his. It's in his hands so basically there's no way anyone can come past his quick eye. No one would even suspect a thing because he looks so natural doing it that he forgets about it until you come back. He probably takes a few sips, lost in thought and then bam! remembers that he's drank half of it.

★ JUNGWON

Very sensible about it. He's going to cover your cup with something like a cup coaster or a couple of napkins. He's going to keep the drink close by but will return to whatever he was doing. He's done a really good job at covering the drink but wonders what is taking you so long. He finishes his drink before he gets up to search for you. When you two finally reunite, he begins to talk with you. In the end, both of you would forget about your drink.

★ NIKI

First, his chest swells with pride realising you came to him. Secondly, he realises you just gifted him a perfect opportunity for a prank so why would he decline? there are many ways this could go about, for starters he would drink half of your drink or more and then say this was how you gave it to him. In another situation, he'd drink a bit and mix another drink to spoil the taste and offer an innocent smile before returning the cup. He wouldn't pull anything that would make you distrust him but next time you hand your drink you'll be prepared that you're getting pranked.

thank you sm for reading!

all rights belong to hoony2k. please do not translate/edit/copy.

[justanotherrpmeme]

Don't You Dare Pity Me starters

"Don't you dare pity me, [name]. I can handle my own problems." "I don't need your sympathy, [name]. Keep it to yourself." "Thanks, but I don't want your pity. Just leave me alone." "I appreciate the concern, but I'm not looking for anyone's pity right now." "I'm not some charity case, okay? I don't need your pity." "Save your pity for someone who actually wants it, [name]." "Why can't you people just let me deal with this on my own? I don't need your pity party." "I'd rather suffer in silence than have you shower me with your pity, [name]." "Sympathy won't fix anything, [name]. So just spare me your pity speech." "If you think I'm going to break down and cry, you're wrong. I don't need your pity tears." "I've survived worse than this. I don't need your pity, [name]." "Pity won't change the situation, [name]. So don't bother." "Pity is not what I'm after, [name]. I just want to deal with this my way." "I know you mean well, but I can do without the pity, thanks." "I don't want your pity, [name]. I want solutions, not sympathy." "Save the pity for someone who cares, because I certainly don't, [name]." "I won't be the subject of your pity, [name]. Find someone else to baby."

[REJECT] The receiver reaches out to comfort the sender, but the sender sharply pulls away, refusing any form of physical consolation. [AVOIDANCE] The sender tries to engage in a heartfelt conversation, but the receiver deliberately changes the subject, avoiding any discussion about their troubles. [BRISTLE] The receiver offers a sympathetic look, and the sender responds with a defensive, irritated expression, clearly signaling their discomfort. [SNAP] The receiver innocently asks about the receiver's well-being, and the sender responds with an angry outburst, snapping at them to mind their own business. [DISMISS] The sender expresses concern, and the receiver brushes it off, downplaying the significance of their situation. [REFUSE] The sender offers a kind gesture, and the receiver rejects it outright. [MINIMIZE] The sender expresses understanding, and the receiver minimizes the impact of their struggles, attempting to downplay the severity of the situation. [REPEL] The sender shows genuine care, and the receiver creates emotional distance, repelling any attempts to offer support. [CUT] The sender expresses sympathy, and the receiver cuts them off mid-sentence. [REPEL] The sender attempts a comforting gesture, and the receiver physically recoils. [DEFLECT] The sender asks about the receiver's well-being, and the receiver deflects with humor or sarcasm.

[serasvictoria]

Title: Firsts

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Female Reader

Summary: You ask Eddie to be your first, but unbeknownst to each other your feelings for one another run a lot deeper than expected.

Word Count: 6084

Content Warning: P in V (safe) sex. Loss of virginity. Eddie and Reader are both 18, but it is never explicitly mentioned. Some swearing. One mention of drug use to calm Reader’s nerves. Loads of insecurities and feels.

Notes: A huge thank you to @adrille88 for beta reading and for helping me out with the ending, because I was pretty damn stuck before ❤️

Tagging @blackseapearl @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie @istorkyou @quantumlocked310

*

“I-is this okay?”

Eddie's voice comes out all shaky, completely devoid of the usual mock confidence that he throws in all the time.

It was almost like all the layers had been stripped away completely from the moment that he had parked the van, stripped down right to the bone, until there was barely anything left.

The one who's responsible for it is you and he would like to think that you would be proud of it, too, if you could actually get any words to come out of your throat right now.

You huff underneath him instead, the sharp intake of air almost as wavering as his own, but you don’t reply. Your eyes are squeezed shut tightly and you’re biting on your bottom lip so hard that he fears that you’ll draw blood any moment now.

“Hey.” Your eyes open then, blinking once and then focusing on him. He presses the tip of his nose against yours until you offer him a weak smile. “You back with me?”

“Y-yeah,” you reply. “Sorry, ‘s just-“

“Hurts?”

“K-kinda, but not l-like… it’s just… f-feels weird.” You try to elaborate, but it’s difficult to find the right words to express how you're feeling. You shake your head and throw in a, “Sorry.”

“What for?” That makes him smile, you being all cute and thinking you need to apologize. “If anyone should be sorry, it should be me.”

“Why?“

“For doing this in the back of an old van.” At least that makes you laugh and he’s thankful for it. It’s a lot better than your slightly pained expression of earlier. “I’m serious.”

“Not like we could do this in my room.”

Your mother was almost constantly at home, always hovering around the house, either to clean, cook or keep tabs on what was going on.

Whenever Eddie came over, she was always asking if you wanted lemonade or snacks, constantly standing in the doorway of your bedroom as if she was afraid that the two of you would jump each other’s bones the second that her back was turned.

So your house was very much out of the question.

“Or mine,” he answers.

“Well, we could, but you’d have to clean it first.” There’s some mild discomfort laced through your smile and Eddie momentarily wonders if you're still sure about this, if you're only smiling to stop him from worrying. “I have standards after all.”

“Hey.” He squeezes your hips once in retaliation. “Not nice.”

The only option that the two of you had was Eddie’s van. He would have much rather made it more special, rented a motel room somewhere or something, but it wasn’t like he had the funds to do that.

He had been working at the garage whenever he could to pay for his van and whatever spare money he had left from dealing had gone into buying equipment for his guitar, a new amp for starters, so there wasn’t anything left.

When you suggested doing it in the back, he had been surprised that you had been up for that, but Eddie wasn’t going to complain about it either. Not when the girl that he’d known for years and who he’d secretly been crushing on for about the same amount of time asked him to take her virginity.

Didn’t matter that it was under the pretext of ‘if someone has to take it, I’d want it to be someone that I trust.’ He ignored that small detail, instead focusing on making sure he did it right.

Because it wasn’t like he had any experience himself…

“Eddie.”

“Hmm?”

“You can move.”

“Oh, thank fuck for that.” He gives a gentle and experimental roll with his hips and you hiss through your teeth. “Bad?”

“N-no. Just need to get-“ Eddie’s still unsure if he should just pull out completely and forget that this ever happened, but the muscles in your jaw tense and there’s this blazing determination in your eyes all of a sudden that makes his heart skip a beat. “Fuck, just keep going.”

“You sure?”

“Positive,” you reiterate. “Keep moving.”

Eddie pulls his hips back, out of the warmth that’s surrounding his cock, taking care to move slowly so as not to overwhelm you, because that’s the last thing that he wants. You whimper when he slides back in and he sees it then, a slight uptick at the corner of your mouth, the merest hint of a smile.

“Good?”

“Y-yeah,” you breathe back. “That almost felt nice.”

“A-almost?”

He panics a little, immediately thinking to himself that you might not enjoy this as much as he was.

And he was. He really, really was.

From the moment that his cock had slipped inside your tight, wet heat, it was like he was in heaven. He couldn't even describe how it felt for there was nothing that he could even compare it to.

Eddie had done everything that he could to make sure that it would be good for you, too, even going as far as asking the least intimidating guy that worked at the garage for advice, and getting told that he should make sure that you were aroused and wet first and to make sure that you had climaxed at least once before sticking his dick inside you.

But he was too big, wasn’t he? That must have been the problem here and he should have known that from the moment that your eyes had nearly popped out of your skull when you saw his dick. Even if you had no previous experience and would probably have been intimidated by just about anything, he knew that he was too-

“Eddie.” You run your fingers through his hair, as he reluctantly keeps moving, seemingly noticing his thoughts immediately. That’s what you get when you’re on the same wavelength. No hiding anything from each other. “I-I didn’t mean it l-like th- oh fuck.”

“W-was that-?” You nod before he finishes his sentence. He had managed to hit your sweet spot completely by accident. “I d-don’t even know w-what I did.”

“J-just- ah.” When he pushes himself in deep, it's written all over your face how much you enjoy what he is doing right now, how right he has gotten it. Eddie grinds his hips against yours and he can feel your walls grip him a little bit tighter. “R-right there.”

“There?” He still doesn’t know what the hell he did, his mind too scrambled from having his cock snuggly enveloped in your twitching walls, but as long as you keep making those noises, he’ll do anything. “C-can I move a bit f-faster?”

“Yeah,” you mewl. “Please.”

In all this time that he has known you, Eddie has never heard you beg for anything. Not even in situations where it would be in your best interest to do so you never did, almost as if your stubborn nature wouldn’t let you. He genuinely thought that you would rather die than to be forced to beg.

So hearing you give him permission to go faster, and not just that, but begging him to please go faster, makes his mind go completely blank and he snaps his hips harder than he had intended.

“Fuckkkkk, Eddie.” Thankfully, you don’t seem to mind. From the way that your mouth is opened in a perfect o-shape and how your thighs grip him a little tighter, you really seemed to enjoy that. There’s a flicker in your eye as you tell him, “Do that again.”

“Jesus, fuck, okay.” His next thrust is so hard that he can see your tits moving up and down from the ferocity of the impact and he manages to pull a sound from your throat that he has never heard you make before. “You’re s-so… damn.”

“W-what?,” you ask, but Eddie dips his head down. His lips are suddenly on the column of your throat, licking and sucking, a bit too preoccupied to recall what he had wanted to say. “Oh god.”

“Still good?” he pants against your flushed skin. He’s absolutely relentless now, slamming into you, your walls fluttering around his cock so deliciously, sending him closer to the edge with every messy thrust. “You like that?”

You let out a noise that’s meant to sound affirmative, beyond words yourself now that you’re almost being ripped to shreds by the building pressure inside you. Eddie’s hand, which had been stationary at your hip, simply gripping you tightly until then, moves to where your bodies meet and you clench your teeth when his fingers start rubbing your swollen clit clumsily.

“Please don’t stop,” you keen. “Please, Eddie. Don’t stop.”

“I won’t.” He presses his lips onto your cheek, to the corner of your mouth, and he can hear your voice breaking over the continuous repeated pleas that keep falling from your lips. “F-fuck,” he grunts. “I’m so close.”

No sooner has he said those words, barely even out of his mouth, that he feels your pussy gripping him tightly. You gasp and your fingernails dig into his back so hard that he thinks that he’ll be covered in marks for the next few days.

He will wear those marks with pride. Hell, he might even get someone to tattoo them on him simply to make it a more permanent reminder of what just happened.

His eyes are on you, even if it’s difficult to keep them open, watching your blissed out features as your climax washes over you. You never looked more pretty to him, something that he had wanted to voice out loud earlier if he hadn’t gotten distracted.

Eddie’s right behind you himself, his cock jolting inside you, buried as deeply as possible, his balls tightening first and then unloading. Your walls are still clamping down on him like a vice, attempting to pull him in deeper, and he can feel his cum pulsing up his shaft in waves. The rush that he experiences is like nothing that he has ever felt before.

Surely, nothing could top this.

Claiming the girl that he’d known for years as his own, being your first, and you being his first as well. He would never ever forget this.

Collapsing on top of you, he feels guilty for crushing you, but he can’t move since all his muscles have gone completely slack. He can’t even pull out. Then again, he doesn’t want to pull out, not even now that he’s softening inside you. It just feels too good.

You stir underneath him, crane your neck and press your lips against his temple gently. When your fingers tangle through his hair, he sighs deeply as you start dragging your digits through the strands, pulling out small knots.

He knows that he has to move eventually, but for now he'll do his utmost to burn this exact moment into his memory, how he feels and how you feel underneath him. He wants to remember every movement, every sigh, every touch… all of it.

Eventually, you nudge his side and he rolls off of you with a groan. He misses the warmth of your body immediately, even if he can still feel it from where your arms are still touching each other.

It's simply not enough.

"So… w-was it…" Eddie starts to say as he sits up and removes the condom from his now soft cock. He ties up the end and places it in the corner, right behind the driver’s seat, hoping that he won't forget to toss it when he's home. "What I'm trying to ask is…" he clears his throat and blurts out the rest of his question. "How was it for you?"

"Weird," you reply and when he looks back at you, you're fiddling with your bra, getting ready to put it back on. "But not as bad as I…" He watches you shake your head and absentmindedly sees you rubbing a hand over your knee. "I expected worse? Not that I thought that you'd-!"

"No offense taken," he laughs. Eddie knew that if not done right, it could be worse for girls. His eyes are still on your hand and they slowly drift up your thigh, ever higher before you manage to cover yourself up. His eyes widen when he sees what happened. “Oh, baby, shit. You’re bleeding.” He reaches for his jeans, pulls his signature bandana from the back pocket and gently rubs it against the apex of your thighs before he freezes and realizes what he just called you. “I uh-"

“What, Eddie?” His eyes are dragged away from what he's doing and then he locks eyes with you. You're awfully close, close enough for him to feel your warm breath on his face. "It's okay… it happens sometimes. Apparently."

Your eyes keep flicking back and forth between his eyes and his lips and all that he'd have to do was lean in just a little bit more, only a couple more inches and then your lips would meet.

But he couldn't.

Because friends didn't kiss.

Even after what had just happened, he was still too cowardly to actually lean in and kiss you, almost as if he would be overstepping some boundary if he did. The kiss to the corner of your mouth was the closest that he'd ever gotten that evening.

"Y-yeah." Eddie pulls his hand away, the bandana stained with your blood, and then he turns his head to toss it right next to where he had put the used condom. "What time are you supposed to be home again?"

"N-nine," you stammer as you finally put your bra back on. "What time is it now?"

Eddie checks his watch and replies, "Quarter past eight so we have plenty of time left." He puts his own clothes on a lot quicker than you get back into yours and he slides back into the driver's seat a mere minute later. "You want a smoke?"

"Yeah, but just a normal one." With his eyes firmly fixed on the rearview mirror, he watches you get dressed, memorizing every inch of your bare skin. "My parents will kill me if I show up high."

"Fair enough." He grabs a packet of cigarettes from the dashboard and sticks one between his lips. "Some other time?"

"Yeah sure." You sound oddly distant, but Eddie blames that on the awkwardness of the current situation. After what you two had just done, it will probably take some time for things to be normal again. If they ever can be. "Light it for me?"

"Sure." He grabs another cigarette, digs his lighter from the pocket of his jeans and lights them both. When he looks back in the rearview mirror, you're almost fully dressed. Your sneakers are in your hand as you step between the seats to the passenger seat. "Thanks," you reply as you take the cigarette from him. "Music?"

"What?" Eddie realizes that he had been staring at you and follows your finger as you point at the radio. "Oh. Music. Sure."

You finish your cigarettes without saying another word, instead listening to a mixtape that you had made the week before with various punk rock songs until it was time to bring you home.

Last Caress from The Misfits was playing when you got out of the van and bid him a good night. It was the first time that you had said anything since asking him to put on some music. Eddie waited a bit longer, until you had opened the front door and entered the house, which was what he always did, before pulling away and heading back to the trailer park.

He ejected the tape fairly quickly after he pulled away though. Something about the lyrics of Last Caress rubbed him the wrong way for some odd reason.

One last caress, sweet death

It simply felt wrong…

*****

Eddie doesn’t see you the entire weekend and he’s too scared to go to your place or to pick up the phone so he can ask you if you want to hang out.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this anyway. You had said it yourself, you had asked him to take your virginity because you trusted him. There wasn’t anything more going on there. He had convinced himself that there wasn’t, that the act itself was ultimately meaningless.

On Monday morning, when he was waiting outside your house to come pick you up like he usually did, that was the main thing that was on his mind, but he didn’t want to make things awkward between you by asking you questions that would confirm his suspicions.

You slid into the seat next to him, saying a quieter “morning” than was usual for you, but Eddie does his best not to comment on it. All he does is incline his head in greeting and then his foot is on the gas as he drives to school.

Nothing else is said. Maybe there’s a reason for it, for your silence.

Embarrassment for one, because you can barely look him in the eye. Nervousness perhaps, because you can’t stop fidgeting with the hemline of your shirt. Regret? He hopes not, but who knows.

The silence drags on and you look out the window, alternating from rubbing your shirt between your hands to grasping the strap of your shoulder bag and twisting it around your fingers. You could cut the tension with a knife and you’re unsure how to lift it, not knowing what you could or should say.

You clear your throat and Eddie finally looks at you right before he comes to a stop in front of a traffic light.

“S-s-so,” you finally stammer out.

“So. What's up,” Eddie replies, but his voice sounds all weird. Detached. Angry almost. And he wasn't, not really, but the rational part of his mind seemed to have switched off completely and he is incapable of sounding normal in any way.

“A-are you angry with me?” Unlike Eddie, you don’t avoid the potentially awkward questions now that he has finally opened his mouth.

“Angry? Why would I be angry?” he snaps, but he seems to realize how that sounds and amends himself. “I’m not angry,” he sighs, his tone softer now. “There’s no reason for me to be.”

“Oh,” you mumble as the light turns to green and he starts driving again. “It’s just- I didn’t see you this weekend.”

“We saw each other on Friday.” He notices how you look down at your shoes when he says it and for someone that was able to read every single emotion on your face before, he sure has trouble deciphering them now. “You didn’t call.”

“I-I usually don’t have to,” you reply. “You just show up and then we hang out.”

That was true. The two of you hardly ever called each other beforehand to schedule anything. There were certain times during the day that you kinda kept empty for each other so neither of you had to call to ask “Are you free right now?” It had been like that for years.

“I was busy,” Eddie says. “Maybe I should have told you.”

“Oh no, that’s okay." You seem unusually flustered by this and immediately stare out the window again. "Fine. That’s fine.”

"What is the-" He begins to say, but even though your head is turned away, he can see your bottom lip wobble. "Hey, are you-"

"Fine," you repeat like a broken record, a bit more forcefully and he can definitely hear in your voice that you're on the verge of tears. "I'm fine."

“You don’t sound-“

“Just stop talking!” Eddie visibly flinches when you raise your voice. Okay, you’re definitely crying. “I don’t want to… just don’t say anything.”

Even though he’s close to school, Eddie still pulls over to the side of the road. If he reaches the school parking lot, you’ll bolt out of his van and he won’t see you for the rest of the day, he just knows it. But he’s still far away enough now and you’re too upset to actually get out and walk. He knows you well enough to know that you won’t get out here.

“What’s wrong?” He tries to reach for you, but you turn away. Your arms are wrapped so tightly around yourself and you’re leaning forward as if you’re trying to curl yourself up into a little ball. “Is this about what we did?”

Even though he didn’t want to, he had to broach the subject. There’s no other way around it anymore.

“What do you think?” You wipe at your cheek furiously, the tears falling in full force now. “Enlighten me, Eddie.”

“I told you upfront that we probably shouldn’t do it, alright!” He hates himself for raising his voice as well, especially since you’re so obviously hurt but fuck, he was hurting, too. “But you-“

“Don’t blame me for it! You got what you wanted and then you couldn’t even be bothered to pick up the goddamn phone?”

“I got what I wanted?" He wasn't expecting that response, especially not after you so obviously used him. "You’re the one that-“

“It was an excuse!” you shout. “I knew that you would never touch me like that, so I fucking lied!”

“What?” It’s all he can say as he stares at you dumbfounded. “What?”

“I-I-I figured if I’d offer you that… if I’d let you… that maybe you’d see me in a different light, that you’d think of me as a woman instead of… actually I don’t even want to know what you think of me…" Eddie has no intention of answering, but you hold up your hand anyway, apparently under the impression that he had been about to speak. "But it obviously… fuck, it’s so obvious now… it didn’t fucking work… and it’s not like I can take it back...”

You ramble on, more to yourself than to him by the looks of it, and Eddie doesn’t know what to do. He’s heard you rant before, usually about books or bands or whatever other subject you're passionate about, but never like this. This was pure, unfiltered self-doubt talking and it's a side of you that he was oddly unfamiliar with, because it was a side of you that you had never once allowed him to see.

Part of him knows that he should stop you, before you run out of breath since you’re babbling so much, but another part of him wants to know what you’ll say now that your internal filter seems to be malfunctioning.

“So I ruined everything… and I want to fix it… for things to go back to how they were, you know? But I can’t just… wave a magic fucking wand around and make everything go back to normal.” You hang your head in your hands and he can see your back begin to shake, signifying that you’re close to sobbing. “S-s-so now I’m going to have to… learn to live with that, I suppose… but fuck, I wish I could… really, really wish I could make you-“

“Stop. Fuck, please. You’re not making any sense.” Your mouth snaps shut and you wipe at your eyes with the back of your hand. “So, here’s what I got from that… that speech. When you told me that you trusted me, that you wanted me to be your first because you trusted me, that was a lie?”

“N-no. Not r-really.” You shake your head and quickly add, “I do. Trust you, I mean, but that’s not why I asked you if you wanted to… you know.”

“So why then?”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

“Oh, trust me, babe, it is.” When you were mid-rant, the pieces kind of fell into place and he felt like a right idiot for not realizing it before. “I just wanna hear you say it. And say it to my face.”

He watches you take a deep breath, trying to steady your breathing because right now it sounds like you ran a couple of miles. You close your eyes and repeat it a couple of times.

Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

It takes a short while for your breathing to even out, but when it does, you look a lot calmer than before. Eddie can see your hands shake and to stop them from doing that, you grip your knees so tight that it's hurting him just from looking at it.

“Okay,” you say softly as you turn to him. Your eyes are red and there are streaks on your cheeks, but you seem to have found the determination to want to do this, to tell him what’s going on. “Eddie.” A shiver runs down his spine from hearing you say his name like that, his mind suddenly filled with reminders of last Friday. “I love you.”

“And that’s why you asked me to f- make love to you?”

“Yes.” You look ashamed of yourself and you don’t seem to catch that Eddie very deliberately said that he ‘made love to you’ instead of ‘fucking you.’ “I shouldn’t have asked you, I’m sorry, and now I ruined everything.”

“Why would that ruin everything?”

“You think that we can go back to being friends after that?” He shakes his head in reply. “See? I messed up.” Your eyes well up again and you rub at them before the tears can fall. “I’m so sorry, Eddie,” you sob and he can see your hand gripping the car door, getting ready to open it and get out.

“Wait,” he blurts out. You sniffle and pause, but your hand doesn’t let go of the handle. “You don’t want to hear my answer?”

“Your answer?” You frown, a brief flash of anger crossing your features because you’re convinced that he’s making fun of you now. “I’d rather not know if that’s okay.”

“No way. You got to say what you wanted so I should get the opportunity as well.”

“Just… be gentle, okay?” You seem to have resigned yourself to the fact that whatever you felt could never be reciprocated, hence why you had even come up with that badly thought out idea to have him be your first to begin with. “I don’t think I can handle much more today.”

“Babe…”

Seeing you like this was breaking Eddie’s damn heart.

All the thoughts that had been plaguing him these last two days seem to have been on your mind as well.

He wonders how many times you had the phone in your hand, ready to call him, before deciding against it. Wonders if you had been thinking of grabbing your bike to cycle over to his place, with the excuse that you’d lost some random thing that you desperately needed right that instance.

Because those were all things that he had been thinking of doing, too. He’d even made it as far as a few blocks away from your house on Sunday before turning around and going back.

The only problem was that now that he had the opportunity to tell you exactly how he felt, and how he had felt for several years now, that he couldn’t find the words.

His entire mind was drawing a blank.

And the longer the silence dragged on, the more your face seemed to fall. He could see every single insecurity written all over it, a million doom scenarios flashing behind your eyes, each one worse than the other.

Eddie wanted to take all your doubts away, but he didn’t know how. For someone that had an answer for almost everything, he sure was struggling now.

“Eddie,” you said softly. “You don’t have to-“

Practically lunging forward, he cupped your face in his hands and kissed you instead. It was just the one kiss and when he pulled away, you were staring at him with wide eyes, like your brain was struggling to process what the hell had just happened.

“I um… I didn’t know what to say,” he whispers. “So I just-“

“So you just-“

“Yeah. You don’t mind?”

“No, no, I don’t mind,” you blurted out. “Why would I mind? I mean, I-“

Eddie presses his lips on yours again before you can go on another nervous ramble. The first kiss was over before it even started and you hadn’t gotten a chance to respond then, but you do now. He feels your hands on his shoulders, your touch uncertain at first, but your grip tightens when his tongue swipes over your lips.

You sigh and he takes the chance to lick into your mouth, seeking out your tongue. You match his eagerness and then take it further than he had intended to.

You shift in your seat until you’re sitting on your knees and looming over him. The kiss breaks for a few seconds and you push him back, moving in to straddle him immediately. There’s not a lot of room with the steering wheel right behind you, but you won’t be deterred and Eddie doesn’t stop you either. His hands circle around your back, pulling you into him.

You’re basically grinding into Eddie’s lap while most of Hawkins is on their morning commute to work, dropping their kids off at school, passing by his van without having a clue what's going on in there. Whenever they hazard a look inside, they’re treated to the sight of two horny teenagers who look like they’re seconds away from tearing each other’s clothes off.

Some random woman that passes by on the sidewalk bangs her hand against the window, muttering something about devil worship. She didn't even have to look twice to check who was behind the wheel, because everyone in Hawkins knew exactly who the proud owner of that van was.

“What’s the devil got to do with you sitting on my lap?” Eddie murmurs against your lips, amused.

“No idea,” you shrug as you pull away and move back to your own seat once more. “Probably thought that you’d brainwashed me or something.”

“Sure I did,” he mutters. That’s when he thinks of something else entirely. “What’s first period again?”

“Phys ed.”

“Fuck that.” Eddie turns the key in the ignition and makes the engine roar back into life. He turns the van around and drives back in the direction that you had come from. “We’re skipping class.”

“Oh, are we?” If you had asked him to, he would have turned around and driven right back to school, but he knew that you wouldn’t challenge him on this. “And what are we going to be doing instead?”

“Some physical education of our own. It’ll be loads better than playing dodgeball again.” Eddie starts chuckling and couldn’t resist adding, “You can dodge my balls instead.”

“God!” Your arm shoots out and smacks his bicep. “You’re such a child,” you say with a laugh. “Honestly.”

“I’ll make sure that you get your workout, baby, don’t worry about it.”

“You gonna make me sweat?”

“That’s the idea.” He holds his right hand out to you, palm up, and you take it without hesitation. He gives your hand a quick squeeze and throws in a, “Best way to work up a sweat.”

The rest of the drive is relatively silent. The only noises are coming from the car stereo, which wasn't set to its usual volume for once, interspersed with the occasional laugh when the two of you happen to make eye contact.

Eddie drives to the exact same place where he parked the car last Friday afternoon, a relatively secluded spot near Lover's Lake which was eerily quiet at this time on a Monday morning.

It had taken quite some time to coax you into the back on Friday, nervous as you were, and even sharing a joint with Eddie hadn't made your nerves subside.

You'd sat in the passenger seat for at least a half an hour longer before you had joined him and then it had taken another half hour for you to even take your shirt off. All that happened while Eddie had his back turned to you by the way, while he continuously promised that he wouldn't face you until you were ready, even if he was hard as a rock already by that time (uncomfortably so).

There wasn't any hesitation now.

Seconds before Eddie had turned the engine off, you got up, squeezing through the space between the seats and sat down in the back. Eddie hadn't gotten round to putting all the blankets that he had grabbed from the trailer back yet so you were sitting quite comfortably among them when he joined you.

His mouth falls open when you take your shirt off like it's nothing and when your hands start moving down, fingers already moving to open your jeans, is the moment that apprehension sets in for him this time.

"Nice to see that you're so comfortable now," he laughs nervously. "But there's one thing that I need to tell you first."

Your fingers stop moving, jeans pulled open far enough so that your light blue cotton panties are visible. "What is it?" You move over to where Eddie has sat down and ask, "You don't want to do this anymore?"

"Fuck, that's not it. I definitely want to do this." He very crudely takes your hand and places it on his crotch so you can feel exactly how hard he is already. You give him a quick squeeze and he groans in reply. "I just wanted to clarify something."

"And what's that?" Your eyebrows arch in amusement and he doesn't really know why. "You can tell me, Eddie."

"Well, when you first suggested that we sleep together, you did that with the assumption that I'd slept with someone before."

"Yeah?" You briefly cover your mouth with your free hand and clear your throat. "Are you trying to tell me that you didn't?"

"Yeah," he says quietly. "That's exactly what I'm saying."

"Eddie." You lean in and peck his cheek. "I already knew."

"Wha-?" he says, dumbfounded, and you can't stop yourself from giggling now. "How did you know?"

"You did say that you didn't know what you were doing. It was just the once, but it was kind of a dead giveaway," you reveal. Eddie smacks himself in the forehead. He had said that. "It made me feel a bit better, to know that we were both new to it and were experiencing it together."

"Can't hide anything from you." He reaches out to touch you then, his hands skimming up your chest until he's cupping your tits. "My girl's so smart." You let out a moan, one that's a bit too loud for what he's doing, and Eddie's face lights up like a goddamn Christmas tree. "You like being called my girl?"

"Uh-huh," you pant as you arch your back and press your chest into his hands. "I love it."

"Good." Eddie leans back until his spine is pressed against the side of the van, pulling you along with him and making you straddle his lap. "'Cause you are my girl, right?" You whimper when he runs his hand through your hair and grips the back of your neck gently. "Tell me."

"I'm your girl." You pop the button of his jeans, pull his fly open and slip your hand inside. "I've always been your girl," you tell him as he pushes his hips up into your hand. "Eddie." There's a sense of urgency behind your voice. "We're gonna have to hurry up if we want to make it back in time for the second period."

Eddie presses his forehead against your shoulder and groans, "And what's that again?"

"Maths."

"Fuck that," he replies as he reaches around your back to unhook your bra. "We're skipping that one as well." He licks a stripe from your collarbone up to your ear and growls, "Now stop talking about school please? It's putting me off."

"Oh really?" Your hand jerks upwards over his shaft. "If anything, you're only getting harder," you observe with a grin. "Or is that because of-" Your sentence ends in a yelp when Eddie suddenly flips you onto your back and gives you a searing kiss to shut you up.

"You done?" You nod, your sass now completely gone. "Good, because we have about an hour left and I want to make you come at least three times before we get back to school if you don't mind."

"No, I don't mind," you squeak. "I don't mind at all."

"That's my girl…”

[radioiaci]

@videokilled ⧐ liked for an upsetting starter.

It comes out as aggression; when the sting of freshly made scars is prominent and the feeling of the clasp around his neck is so tight that it strangles him even when it's not really there at all. Claws scrape against his own flesh to free himself from the invisible confines to no avail, leaving only bloodied, matted fur clinging to his skinny neck and forcing deep, unsettled waves of frequencies to emanate from him so loud that it shatters nearby light fixtures and sends the poor Sinner whom he's cornered into a panicked frenzy.

He spares no kindness tonight; does not bother using his tendrils and maintaining his distance, no. This kill is intimate, claws digging into the throat of the Sinner - contracted to him, no less, and having disobeyed him in his worst moment - until airway is constricted and blood spills from pierced flesh and onto the concrete beneath where he stands.

It's disgusting, but he can only think in jumbled pieces. The Sinner will regenerate eventually. He does not care. Does not care if anyone happens to witness the act either. It's his only way of maintaining control, his blackened gaze distant even as he hovers over the crumpled body - shoulders lifting and falling with his heavy, labored breathing.

Alastor does not move from where he is, poised over the mess.

All he can hear is the oppressive sound of his own static in his ears.

[thewriterg]

𝐂𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐦𝐞 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐭

pairing(s); simon ‘ghost’ riley x afab!reader, john ‘soap’ mactavish x afab!reader, task force 141 x afab!reader

summary; You and Ghost weren’t the least bit pleased when you both were roped into Soaps shenanigans for a costume contest but deep down you’d do anything to see the smile on his face —flufftober day;1—

word count; 1.3k+

warnings(s); readers call sign is “coma”, soap having two of the most deadliest soldiers worldwide wrapped around his finger, and language

A/n:—GIFs; @silenthqll & @une-femme-de-lettres— OCTOBER IS HERE WRITERS‼️

“C’mon Hen it’s just dress up for one night” Soap pouted following behind you as you made your way to the cafeteria as you denied him for the seventh time in a day over the same thing he was prominent as hell over dressing up in matching costumes for Halloween and of course reasonably you declined

“Johnny, darling. You’re gonna drive me mad go sit down with Simon I’ll be there in a few” With a small huff the Scot was storming away with the attitude of a toddler as you stood in line for you alls lunch

Ghost perked up from his cup of tea in the furthest table in the cafeteria his chair against the wall as he watched the Scot approach him muttering things to himself with his arms crossed over his chest before sitting in his usual chair with a huff and before Simon could even humor himself in asking him what was wrong the Scot was already rambling of his troubles to the Brit

“You think it’s reasonable aye?” He spoke with a roll of his eyes while Ghost huffed mirroring his actions before grumbling under his breath his voice gruff and deep

“Sure MacTavish”

Soon you were walking towards the booth two trays of food in your hand setting them down gently in front of the men and taking your own seat nothing but a cup of coffee in your grasp as you had sparing right after and preferred to not vomit on your to save yourselves the trouble settling in your chair with a grunt as moments of silence passed you all Ghosts mask lifted below the tip of his nose so he could eat

“You know Ghost thinks it’s a good idea if we dress up” Soap stated suddenly causing the war criminal to clear his throat trying not to choke on the food in his mouth as you peered over you cup of coffee looking the Scot in the eye you gaze sharp like a siren as you hummed

“Is that so?” Your gaze adverted to the Brit who looked at you with blown pupils you had to learn how to read Simon since he pledged his face being covered like the plague but the main starter note you could give to anyone in need?

That man had more expressive eyes than a mime

“Come on love, you know the mutt it putting us against each other” It took everything in you not to chuckle or at least crack a smirk at the look he’d given Soap as if he wanted his head on a chopping block which he looked like he didn’t have an ounce of regret for the interrogation he caused and running out of options he pulled his last stunt

was is it petty? maybe

would it get his point across? absolutely

“It was jus’ a thought don’t worry too much ‘bout it” The Scott mumbled standing from his seat before taking his tray of half eaten food and walking away from the table with a drag of his feet causing you and Ghost to glance at each other little did you know that was just the beginning

💌💌💌💌

For the rest of the day the Scott was unusually quiet and only spoke when spoken to you picked up on the behavior quick and you weren’t stupid you knew that he was trying to manipulate you but you were sick of watching him sulk like a kicked puppy so when Soap had got up to leave the meeting room you threw a glance to Simon who stealthily followed in your footsteps as you went to go corner the Scott in the comfort of your shared chambers that had took too much paper work and a white lie with the help of Price about being married for you all to get to share a room and become each others next of kin

With non faltering steps and long strides you had made it to your room in a mere minute slipping through the door with no regard to see Soap standing putting on what looked to be his loungewear switching from the army print cargo pants, long sleeve compression shirt, and steel toe boots to grey sweatpants, a white wife beater, and thick socks

“Ye need somethin’ Bonnie?” The Scott mumbled looking to you with a tinge of mock sadness in the back of his throat that had Ghost rolling his eyes at the sight from towering behind you

“Stop mopin’ Johnny I’ll wear the damn costume” The words slipped pass the cloth of his balaclava into the air of your room accent prominent, voice gruff, and eyes annoyed and the Scott was as bright as ever again before his eyes adverted to you staring at him with a deadpan expression and before he could even start with his puppy dog expressions you were already nodding your head with the roll of your eyes

To say the Soap was ecstatic was an understatement and you began to regret your decision fairly quickly when he went on an hour long rant about what he wanted to dress up as and a even longer rant when you and Simon had no idea what ‘Mr and Mrs Smith’ was

So you had spent majority of your night watching the film with hushed giggles and laughter whenever Ghost would complain about the quality of the fight scenes which was fairly advanced for the time in the early 2000s But lt didn’t fail to amuse you when the blonde scoffed before muttering something like

“Amateurs”

“Yeah draw even slower you bloody daft”

But you had fortunately got through the movie in one piece before coming to the realization that

youd need two suits and a dress

💌💌💌💌

“Here comes the life of the party yea!?” Gaz announced as You, Ghost, and Soap walked towards the table everyone in the pub dressed up as a different range of characters you rolled your eyes at him a hint of playfulness in the mix of your eyes and before you could speak Gaz was gasping

“You didn’t!” The smirk on Johnny’s face was prominent as he wiped non existent dust off the shoulder of his black suit jacket identical to Simon’s who meekly huffed at the brunette as you smirked a fitted black dress against your body heels standing strong against the sticky bar floor and topping the look in the visible slit of your dress was a thigh holster that held a pistol that may or may not have been real identical to the ones in the belt of your partners

“You’ve done it” Gaz cheered along side Soap probably a few drink in dressed in slacks with a white button down that had blood staining the collar prosthetic fangs creating a small lisp when he spoke while Price shook his head at the sight of his two youngest recruits on their way to get a round for the first table the Captain himself dressed in jeans, a flannel, brown boots and a matching cowboy hat to match it was a sight for sure

You and Simon had took a seat in the booth making sure it was room for Johnny when he’d returned as you listened to Ghost tease your captain on his costume choice which caused a mock roasting session amongst them both as you held back the laughter in your throat

“Dinnae tell me party’s already started” The strong accent evaded your ears as a round of shots were placed in front of all of you

“As if anyone you forgot about you” Your voice carried sarcasm and the Scott just grinned in response before taking a Drink and toast it up which you were all soon to follow before downing it in one go

As you and Simon looked at each other you knew you were ruined

©2023 thewriterg spooktober do not copy, translate, or modify.

[alyssaforevermore]

Unearthed ↦ Daryl Dixon season two, part one

Synopsis: Based on the events of The Walking Dead television series, Y/N Grimes, younger sister of Rick Grimes, attempts to survive in a world now inhabited by walkers. Family has always meant everything to her, but in this new world, can she keep her family safe and together?

Show: The Walking Dead (S1-S11)

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x fem!Reader

Warnings: coarse language, violence, character deaths, drug and alcohol references, series spoilers and general The Walking Dead content warnings!

Tags: @1ivinqdeadqir1 @callmeyn @thegeorgiahuntsman @mellxander1993 @bigbaldheadname @cjmonsterwolf @abbi23323 @actuallyklee @lanxsee @livingdeadblondequeen @sweetz1919 @moonmark98 @sarahbaker2010 @ririi-3 @ryoujoking (if you've requested a tag and aren't here, I cannot tag you sadly)

Masterlist

It had been hours since you’d all fled the CDC. You kept replaying everything in your mind, from Lori and Shane to Jacqui staying behind. Things had never felt more bleak than they did right now.

“Looks complicated.” Andrea spoke, sitting at the table in the RV.

Shane sat across from her, cleaning his gun. “The trick is getting all these pieces back together the same way. I could clean yours. Show you how.”

Andrea smiled, handing him her gun.

 “Oh yeah.” Shane smiled. “It’s a sweet piece.” 

“It was a gift from my father.” Andrea responded. 

You stared at Shane, your eyes narrowing as you tuned out Andrea. Seeing him carry on like normal, as if he’d done nothing wrong, made your blood boil. As if he didn’t know you knew; as if he didn’t know you saw it.

“Oh jeez.” Dale’s voice caught your attention. “Do you see a way through?”

You stood up, heading to the front of the RV. Dale was in the driver's seat while Glenn sat in the passenger’s seat. Ahead of you were hundreds of cars, abandoned throughout the highway. Many cars’ doors were open, the occupants probably having fled in a hurry.

Glenn frowned. “Maybe we should just go back? There’s an interstate bypass-“

Dale shook his head. “We can’t spare the fuel.”

You pointed to a narrow open space. “Can we get through there?”

As the words left your lips, smoke began leaking out of the front of the RV.

“Didn’t I say it?” Dale shook his head. “I said it a thousand times.”

Shane appeared at your side. “Is there a problem, Dale?”

Dale stopped the RV. “Oh, just a small problem of being stuck in the middle of nowhere with no hope of-“ he paused, looking around. “Okay, that was dumb.”

“Is it the hose again?” You asked.

“Most likely.”

You all piled off the RV, meeting with the others who had driven behind you.

“Think you can find a radiator hose here?” Shane questioned.

“Definitely.” Dale nodded.

“There’s a whole bunch of stuff we can find.” Daryl pointed out.

You nodded. “We can siphon some fuel from these cars, for starters.” 

“Maybe find some water.” Carol added.

Glenn nodded. “Or food.”

“This is a graveyard.” Lori spoke up. “I just don’t know how to feel about this.”

You let out a low sigh. “Now’s not the time to have a conscience. We’re tired, thirsty and hungry. They’re dead.”

Everyone stared at you for a moment, the coldness of your words catching them off guard. Not Daryl, though. You knew he was probably thinking the same thing anyways.

“We should split up, cover more ground.” He mumbled, walking away from the group.

Before anyone could respond, you jogged off to catch up to him. 

“Have you given any more thought to sticking around?” You asked, your voice hushed.

“I’m here, ain’t I?” He huffed.

“You are, for now at least.” You responded.

He stopped for a moment. “Do you really care if I go?”

You looked in his eyes, a half smile forming across your lips. “Of course I do. You’re one of the only people I can stand these days.”

Daryl fought himself, trying not to smile but ultimately failing. There was a lightness between the two of you that you’d never felt before. When you were with him, everything that was bothering you seemed to fade away.

Your eyes shifted to the car next to you. “Think there’s anything good in there?”

Daryl turned, reaching for the door handle. “Only one way to find out.”

You pulled out your knife, prepared for any unwelcome surprises. You nodded for Daryl to open the door, and he did just that. Thankfully, the car was free of any dead.

Placing your knife back in its place on your hip, you climbed inside the car. You opened the glovebox, finding a few granola bars inside.

“Can you pass me the bag?” You asked, and Daryl compiled before opening the backseat.

Next, you opened the center console letting out a small chuckle.

“Anything good?” Daryl asked, looking over.

You picked up a small handgun, holding it up. “Not exactly where I expected to find one of these.”

“Any rounds?”

You checked the gun, finding all six rounds. “It’s fully loaded. Doesn’t look like there’s any extra bullets though.”

You peered out the window, your smiling fading as your face went pale. Daryl took notice, looking up as well. There were dozens of walkers headed your way, coming from the direction you’d left the RV in earlier.

“Shit.” Daryl huffed, climbing out of the car.

You followed suit, both of you closing the doors quietly as you crouched down. Somewhere behind you, you heard the panicked mumbling of one of your friends. You and Daryl both rushed over, still crouched to avoid bringing any attention to you.

A few rows of cars over, you found T-Dog who was bleeding from a large cut on his arm. You and Daryl quickly took out the walkers surrounding him, with Daryl tossing one over T-Dog and whispering for him to be quiet. Daryl grabbed a body from one of the cars as you laid down, him tossing it over you. Then, he used one of the walkers you’d just killed to cover himself.

Seconds later, the walkers had caught up to you, slowly making their way through the space the three of you were in. You could feel your heart racing, unsure if Daryl’s strategy would work. Closing your eyes, all you could hear was the shuffling feet of the dead. Thoughts of your friends and family filled your head, beginning to worry if they’d managed to hide in time too. You tried to tell yourself that you hadn’t heard screams, but no amount of rationalization was helping.

Finally the footsteps subsided and you opened your eyes. Daryl threw the corpse off of himself, rushing over to help T-Dog. You did the same, putting pressure on the cloth Daryl placed over his cut. 

“It’s bad.” T-Dog gasped.

You shook your head. “You’ll be okay, we just have to get you back to the RV.”

As the words left your mouth, screams filled the air. They were coming from the direction of the RV. You looked at Daryl, fear present across your face.

“I got him, go.” Daryl assured you.

Not wasting another moment, you stood up and raced towards the RV, the newfound gun still in your hand. When you arrived, you quickly noticed Sophia sliding down the hill and into the ditch with two walkers following her. Rick was close behind, chasing them into the woods with a rifle in hand.

Carol pulled herself out from under one of the cars, running towards the highway barrier. She was sobbing, barely able to get her panicked words out as everyone gathered around her.

“Lori, there’s two walkers after my baby.” She cried, placing her hand over her mouth.

Lori held her, looking over at you. You didn’t know what to say, your body frozen in its place. Rick was already well out of view and you knew that if you went after them, you’d just get lost at this point.

All you could do now was pray they both made it back safely.

…

“You sure this is the spot?” Daryl asked, looking into a small hole by the creek.

“I left her right here,” Rick nodded. “I drew the walkers way off that direction up the creek.”

Rick had made it back to the group a bit earlier, Sophia never having returned. He led a few of you to where he’d left her, believing she’d stayed there while Rick dealt with the walkers. 

“Without a paddle– seems where we’ve landed.” Daryl responded.

“She was gone by the time I got back here. I figured she’d just taken off and ran back to the group. I told her to go that way and keep the sun on her left shoulder.” Rick pointed in the direction you all came from.

“Assuming she knows her left from right.” Shane sighed.

“Shane, she understood me fine.” Rick argued. 

Shane shook his head. “The kid’s tired and scared, man. She had a close call with two walkers. You gotta wonder how much of what you said stuck.”

“I’ve got clear prints right here.” Daryl spoke, pointing to the ground leading up from the creek. “She did what you said, headed back to the highway.”

“What the hell happened from here to there?” You whispered.

Rick shook his head. “Maybe she got nervous, hid somewhere else along the way.”

“Let’s spread out, make our way back.” Daryl said.

 Shane nodded, helping Rick up the hill. “Hey, we’re gonna find her.”

Rick nodded, walking past Shane.

Shane held his hand out for you. You stared at him for a moment before finally relenting and taking his hand, allowing him to pull you up. The two of you caught up with the others, Daryl kneeling down.

“She was doing fine until right here.” Daryl spoke. “All she had to do was keep going, but she veered off that way.”

“Why would she do that?” Glenn asked.

“Maybe she saw something that scared her, made her run off.” Shane suggested.

“A walker?”

Daryl shook his head. “I don’t see any other footprints.”

“What do we do then? All of us press on?” Shane asked.

“No, it’s better if you and Glenn go back to the highway.” Rick spoke. “People are going to start panicking. Let them know we’re on her trail doing everything we can, but most of all keep everyone calm.”

Shane nodded. “I’ll keep ‘em busy scavenging cars.”

Shane waved for Glenn to follow him, and Rick turned to you. “You should go back with them. It’s probably safer there, and it’s getting dark.”

You shook your head. “I’d rather stick with you and Daryl.”

Rick nodded and Daryl began to lead you further into the woods. It was a while before you noticed the footprints slowly disappearing.

“The tracks are gone.” Rick sighed.

“No, they’re faint but they ain’t gone.” Daryl responded. “She came through here.”

“How can you tell?” You asked. “All I see is dirt and grass.”

“You want a lesson in tracking or you wanna find that little girl?” Daryl asked, his eyes still focused on the ground.

Daryl continued to lead you both further, before rustling in the bushes caught your attention. He signaled for three of you two split off, using Rick as a distraction while Daryl shot a lone walker. Daryl joined you both at the walker, removing his bolt and calling out for Sophia.

Rick knelt down, pulling out gloves and placing them on his hands. He then held up the walker’s hand, inspecting it closely.

“What are you looking for?” Daryl asked.

“Skin under the fingernails.” Rick responded, dropping the hand and inspecting the walker’s teeth. “He fed recently, there’s flesh between his teeth.”

“What kind of flesh?” You asked.

Rick sighed, pulling out his knife. “There’s only one way to find out.”

He ripped open the walker’s shirt, positioning his knife on its stomach. Daryl shook his head, placing a hand on Rick’s shoulder.

“Here, I’ll do it.” He spoke, pulling out his own knife. “How many kills have you skinned and gutted in your life, anyway? Mine is sharper.”

Daryl stabbed the knife into the walker’s stomach, cutting towards himself. 

“I’m going to be sick.” You mumbled, placing a hand over your mouth.

Daryl stabbed the walker several more times, cutting into a new layer each time. “Now comes the bad part.” He spoke before reaching his hands inside. He began to feel around, scooping out bits as he went along.

“Yeah,” Daryl mumbled. “Hoss had a big meal not long ago. I feel it in there.” He scooped out the stomach, tossing it on the ground for Rick to cut open. After searching it for a few seconds, Daryl was able to pull out a piece of skull.

You let out a sigh of relief. 

“The gross bastard had himself a woodchuck for lunch.” Daryl spoke, tossing the skull aside.

“At least we know.” Rick responded, standing up.

…

The sun was quickly disappearing as you finally made it back to the highway. Carol stood at the barrier, her face falling when she saw the three of you without Sophia.

“The trail went cold.” Rick spoke. “We’ll go back out there at first light.”

“You can’t leave my daughter out there on her own, to spend the night alone in the woods.” Carol cried.

“Out in the dark’s no good.” Daryl responded. “We’d just be tripping over ourselves. More people getting lost.”

Carol shook her head. “She’s only twelve! She can’t be out there on her own. You didn’t find anything?”

“I know this is hard, but I’m asking you not to panic.” Rick spoke calmly. “We know she was out there.”

You nodded. “We tracked her for a while. There was nothing to tell us that anything happened to her.”

“We have to make this an organized effort.” Rick began. “Daryl knows the woods better than anybody. I’ve asked him to oversee this.”

Carol eyed Daryl, her eyes narrowing in on a spot on his pants. “Is-Is that blood?”

“We took down a walker.” Rick explained.

“Oh my god.” Carol shook her head.

“There was no sign it was anywhere near Sophia, I promise.”

“How can you know that?” Andrea asked.

You and Rick both looked at Daryl, not wanting to explain your methods. “We cut the son of a bitch open, made sure.” He spoke plainly. 

Carol took a deep breath, sitting down on the barrier. Lori sat next to her, placing a hand on her back. Carol’s face turned to anger as she looked over at Rick.

“How could you just leave her out there to begin with?” She asked, her voice shaking. “How could you just leave her?”

Rick’s face fell. “Those two walkers were on us. I had to draw them away. It was her best chance.”

“He didn’t have a choice, Carol.” Shane defended.

“How is she supposed to find her way back on her own? She’s just a child. She’s just a child.” Carol began to cry again.

“It was my only option. The only choice I could make.”

“I’m sure nobody doubts that.” Shane spoke.

Carol shook her head. “My baby got left in the woods.”

Rick stood up, noticing everyone staring right at him. Hell, even you were staring at him. You knew he did what he could, and you couldn’t help but wonder if you could’ve done more. Maybe if you’d risked getting lost too, you could’ve found her and at least kept her safe.

You watched as Rick turned away, slowly walking off on his own.

------

AN: Here we are with the first part of season two! I'm trying to keep chapters at a more reasonable length moving forward. Hopefully this one was okay. Please remember to like/reblog if you enjoyed. The tag list is still open! <3

[calisources]

HBO'S HOUSE OF THE DRAGON.   sentence   starters   taken   from   the   hbo's   adaptation   of   fire and blood  from   george   r.r.   martin.   change   titles,   names   and   pronouns   as   you   see   fit.

The gods have yet to make a man who lacks the patience for absolute power.

You cannot live your life in fear, or you will forsake the best parts of it. 

Many that are tested only wish to have been spared it.

Meat without wine is also a sin. 

Do not allow your temper to guide your judgement. 

Reluctance to murder is not a weakness.

Dreams didn’t make us kings. Dragons did.

We have always been meant to burn together.

The gods give just as the gods take away.

The road ahead is uncertain, but the end is clear.

I’m Queen Rhaenyra now. And you all are traitors to the realm.

The gods have yet to make a man who lacks the patience for absolute power.

You cannot live your life in fear, or you will forsake the best parts of it. 

Many that are tested only wish to have been spared it.

Meat without wine is also a sin. 

Do not allow your temper to guide your judgement. 

Reluctance to murder is not a weakness.

Dreams didn’t make us kings. Dragons did.

We have always been meant to burn together.

The gods give just as the gods take away.

The road ahead is uncertain, but the end is clear.

I’m Queen Rhaenyra now. And you all are traitors to the realm.

What is this brief, mortal life, if not the pursuit of legacy?

The Iron Throne looms larger than me, larger than anyone in my family.

Exhausting, wasn’t it? Hiding beneath the cloak of your own righteousness. But now they see you as you are.

A marriage is a duty, yes. But that doesn’t stop us from doing what we want. From f***ing who we want.

When I’m Queen, I will create a new order.

I will speak of my brother as I wish. You will not.

Everyone says Targaryens are closer to gods than to men, but they say that because of our dragons. Without them, we’re just like everyone else.

You desire not to be free, but to make a window in the wall of your prison. Have you never imagined yourself on the Iron Throne?

When dragons flew to war… everything burned. I do not wish to rule over a kingdom of ash and bone.

Tongues will not change the succession. Let them wag.

There are times when I would rather face the Black Dread himself than mine own daughter.

Take care not to startle Syrax, my lords. She’s rather protective of me.

If the King isn’t feared, he is powerless. If you are to be a strong queen, you must cultivate love and respect, yes, but your subjects must fear you.

History does not remember blood. It remembers names.

Where is duty? Where is sacrifice? It’s trampled under your pretty foot again.

When one is never invited to speak, one learns instead to observe.

I would rather feed my sons to the dragons than have them carry shields and cups for your drunken, usurper c**t of a king.

I’m next in line to the throne. Should they come looking for me, I intend to be found.

No king has ever lived that hasn’t had to forfeit the lives of a few to protect the many.

No matter how fat the leech grows, it always wants for another meal.

We have royal wombs, you and I. The childbed is our battlefield. We must learn to face it with a stiff lip.

We play an ugly game. And now, for the first time, I see that you have the determination to win it.

Who gives a f*** what some lord thinks? You are the dragon. Your word is truth and law.

You are the King, and so, your first duty is to the realm. Mother would’ve understood this. Just as I do.

You sit upon the highest seat in the realm, Your Grace. Proud men don’t like having to look up.

By naming me heir, you divided the realm.

I thought I wanted it. But the burden is a heavy one. It’s too heavy. If you wish me to bear it, then defend me.

A loyal Hand must tell his king a discomforting truth from time to time, Your Grace. If he doesn’t, he’s failed as a servant.

A seat at the King’s table does not make you his equal.

Fire is such strange power. Everything that House Targaryen possesses is owed to it. Yet it has cost us both what we loved.

How sweetly the fox speaks when it’s been cornered by the hounds.

The blood of the dragon runs thick.

The crown cannot stand strong if the House of the Dragon remains divided.

The idea that we control the dragons is an illusion. They’re a power man should never have trifled with. One that brought Valyria its doom.

The truth does not matter. Only perception.

We are the blood of Old Valyria. We don’t belong here.

Valyria is gone. We don’t belong anywhere.

We are the realm’s second sons, Daemon. Our worth is not given. It must be made.

We do not rule but we may guide the men that do.

We don’t choose our destiny. It chooses us.

A dragon’s saddle is one thing, but the Iron Throne is the most dangerous seat in the realm.

Born wearing a crown? Gods spare me, birth is unpleasant enough as it is.

Daemon only ever does what is best for Daemon.

Perhaps the Velaryons knew the truth of it. The sea is the better ally.

For men marriage might be a political arrangement. For women it is like to be a death sentence.

Has anybody ever told you’re nearly as pretty as your brother?

I did not decide to name Rhaenyra my heir on a whim. All the lords of the kingdom would do well to remember that.

I imagine even dragons get lonely.

A king or queen, strong enough to unite the realm against the cold and the dark.

If we are to serve the Seven Kingdoms, we must answer to their gods.

It’s no easy thing for a man to be a dragonslayer. But dragons can kill dragons. And have.

Many in my line have been dragon riders. Very few among us have been dreamers. What is the power of a dragon, next to the power of prophecy?

My mother was made to produce heirs until it killed her. I won’t subject myself to the same fate.

My oath reaches beyond our personal ambitions.

Swear anew your oath to Rhaenyra as your queen, to Prince Jacaerys as the heir to the Iron Throne. Or, if you support the usurper, speak it now, and you will have a clean and honorable death.

But if you choose treachery, if you swear fealty now only to later turn your cloaks, know that you will die… screaming.