Been thinking a lot about how lesbians have to pretend they never experience any adverse feelings to rejection in order to avoid the "predator" stereotype. When we get rejected by a straight woman or even just get hit with the reality that most women are straight, we're not allowed to be upset or angry or hurt about it.
I am not saying that lesbians should be allowed to verbally abuse a straight woman for saying no, but I don't feel like we're allowed to be angry at all. Even privately. Having those feelings at all makes us 'bad'.
The truth is that it very much so sucks to watch women you love choose men over you. It sucks to know that no matter how attractive and sweet and kind you are, most women will simply not be attracted to you in the slightest and there's nothing you can do about it. It sucks to know that men get to freely love women while you have to hide from bigots. It sucks to have strong, tender feelings for women that they simply do not return.
It's perfectly normal to feel deep sadness and anger over this. I'm talking bubbling violent anger that leaves you feeling like you're a descendant of the Greek goddess Lyssa. Wishing deeply that your feelings for women were returned doesn't make you a predator. Having extremely negative feelings towards the men that catch your crush's attention doesn't make you a bad person. That is all incredibly normal.
Straight men get rejected one too many times and commit mass shootings... You feeling private rage doesn't make you a bad person at all.
I just really hate that it seems like the only appropriate reaction lesbians are allowed to have to heartbreak is demure acceptance.
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Okay, let's finally talk about EPIC's Apollo
I feel very compelled to say, first of all, that I do not dislike Epic. In fact, I am very fond of Epic and have been following its production and status very eagerly! I attend all the launch streams, I watch all of Herrans' update videos; I am, at the end of the day, a fan and I want it to be known that my words are spoken out of love and passion as much as they are spoken from a place of critique.
So really, what my problem with Epic's Apollo?
In the briefest possible terms; the choice to have Apollo be defined by his musical aspect in God Games is thematically strange. And not in the 'oh well in the Odyssey, Apollo was important to Odysseus and his family so it's weird that that wasn't kept in Epic' strange, strange in the sense that Odysseus' character arc since My Goodbye has been getting more and more obviously Apollonian and so it is positively bizarre that when we get to meet Apollo, the god seems entirely disinterested in him and his affairs. So much so that he is not even defined by any station that would indicate that he has been watching over and protecting Odysseus and his family.
What do I mean by 'Odysseus has been following an Apollonian arc'? I'm so glad you asked!
Remember Them is the last song in which Odysseus explicitly uses his sword until Mutiny where he must use it to defend himself against Eurylochus' blade. He uses it to help enact the plan to conquer Polyphemus and, due to Polites dying in that battle, Polites who wished for Odysseus to put the blade down entirely and embrace a post-war life, Odysseus also retires his sword. This is an action that symbolically separates him from Athena - and the image of Odysseus as a traditional warrior set for him in Horse and Infant - as much as My Goodbye physically separates him from the goddess and her war-ways - from this point onwards, Odysseus will no longer be leaning on Athena's wisdom or methods to solve his problems. Likewise, he will no longer be able to rely on her protection.
Odysseus thusly solves most of his upcoming problems through diplomacy and avoidance. He approaches Aeolus - a strange and ambiguous god (both in gender and in motivation) and appeals to them for help. Circe too, he approaches not with wishes to conquer or for revenge, but for the safe returning of his men and an alternate way forward. In all of these scenarios, there is some Apollonian element which is subtly interweaved alongside the influence of other gods; it is with a bow and arrows that Polyphemus' sheep is slain (and thus it is this Apollonian element which is at the root of Odysseus' spat with Poseidon), it is a vision of Penelope that warns Odysseus that his men are about to open Aeolus' wind-bag, Circe's peace offering to Odysseus is to refer him to a prophet of Apollo who has since died.
In this way, Apollo is walking alongside Odysseus for all of his journey after Athena departs - even in the Underworld, he is guiding him. It is Tiresias' proclamation that is the last straw for Odysseus, it is by the power of a mouthpiece of Apollo that Odysseus decides to embrace his ruthlessness. It is with the bow and arrow that Odysseus subdues the siren who sought to trick him, likewise, Odysseus does not attempt to undermine or escape the fate of paying Scylla's passage price - he knows of the doom about to befall the six men and quite unlike the rest of the journey until this point, he does not fight against it. This all comes to a head on Thrinacia where it is a blade which sacrifices the sun god's cow and brings destruction upon the crew once more.
My point with all of this is that when I heard the teasers for God Games years ago, it made perfect sense to me that Apollo would be Round One - he is not Odysseus' adversary and has no reason to oppose Athena's wish to free him. From other teasers about what will happen in the climax of Epic, Apollo will still be walking alongside Odysseus - it is Apollo's bow that Penelope will give the suitors to string. Likewise, it is Apollo's bow that will prove Odysseus' legitimacy and identity. That bow will be the power by which Odysseus hunts his adversaries and cleans out his palace - it is Apollo who is the avatar of Odysseus' ruthlessness, not Athena.
So tell me, truly, what was the point of having Apollo raise a non-argument in God Games? Why have him appear unconcerned, aloof and slightly oblivious? Why have him appear in his capacity as the Lord of Music at all?? And if the intention was never to make Apollo an active player in Odysseus' life like he was in the Odyssey, why keep Odysseus as a primary archer?
The answer of course is that Apollo is inextricable from the fabric of the Odyssey - his influence and favour exudes from Odysseus just as much as Athena's. In Athena's ten year sulk, it would have been Apollo who kept Telemachus and Penelope safe. It would have been Apollo protecting Odysseus from Poseidon's gaze as he travelled the seas (according to the Odyssey anyway)
Forgive me for not being excited about something that I thought was being purposefully set up. I was extremely ecstatic about all of the little Apollonian details that litter the sagas because I know where this story ends up (loosely) but all God Games did was reveal that maybe those Apollonian details were not intentional at all, but merely the ghost of the Apollo who persistently haunts those he favours, even if he cannot explicitly come to their aide in an adaptation.
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toxic situationship with Bakugou where he keeps telling you that he can’t be in a relationship with you because he’s a pro and he’s so busy and you won’t love him the way he would love you because of his temper and all that other self destructive bullshit.
but he can’t help going over to your place on nights where he has a late hour patrol, climbing onto your balcony and tapping on the window until it wakes you. can’t help but grumble about having a hard shift, or a shitty night, or how your place is just closest to his agency. you beat yourself up for accepting him every time, but it’s hard not to when he holds your waist and tips your mouth so sweetly to his.
toxic situationship with Bakugou who doesn’t want to take you out publicly in fear of villains going after you, but he watches every video you post of you hanging out on late nights. dancing and drinking and enjoying yourself, flirting with different people and posting it on a private story that he has access to. always comments something passive aggressive and petty underneath, but if you ask him to take you out for brunch the next morning, it’s another bullshit excuse on why he can’t.
just…..him wanting you but scared of the commitment, but he also can’t lose you in fear of you finding someone better. so he’ll sabotage every chance he gets when it comes to you finding someone who will post you, who will go out with you publicly, who will give you a label that’s concrete and meaningful.
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i love how you write for gojo i would die for you...... with gojo though, how would you describe his personality/character??? vv curious about what you think <3
🥺🥺🥺 ANONNNN i would die for you too btw….. i’m so happy you like my gojo!!!!
hmmmmm it’s a hard question to answer since his character is so complex….. but my general take is that he has three layers to him!! :3 you’d think he’s just a silly guy at first glance, but when you peel back that layer you catch a glimpse of the sadness and isolation beneath. his inherent air of tragedy <33 i also like to include gojo’s darker side here — like, the ’cold logic’ he sometimes has, his more feral side, etc. basically, he’s not as lighthearted as he seems!! and i think understanding his particular isolation is really important to understanding him overall.
the third and final layer (and also the most important imo) is his kindness <33 this is the one i think the fandom might be most divided on? but also not really… gojo isn’t a saint by any means, but he’s an all around good guy. i don’t see him as being morally dark, and i also don’t see him being an asshole. or a cheater, or a player, or a yandere, etcetcetc — they’re all popular depictions of his character that i respect but just can’t get behind myself!! :> gojo is a nice guy at his core, and that’s definitely something i try to emphasise while writing him… he has an air of maturity to him that only slips out when it really counts, but it’s his most charming trait to me!!
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no but two of the main points of conflict in the hameron relationship were 1) cameron wanting house to live without pain and 2) house trying to get cameron to be more decisive and stand by her decisions. and both of these points are subversively addressed in the finale when house's hallucination of cameron tells him to die so he won't be in pain anymore but then calls him a coward for delaying his decision about whether he wants to live or die. which ends up being the final catalyst for him to walk out of the burning building........she comes to him as an angel of death but ends up being his savior. don't talk to me.
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An argument over whether or not Dan Heng is Dan Feng seems to have begun getting sparked again in certain parts of the Fandom and it does nothing but hurt my head to no end
Both sides cherrypicking or treating it like a strange situation, making false equivalents. "Yknow governments don't consider people who've lost their memories to be separate people" that's a flawed argument to use in favorite of DH = DF because it's not just he lost his memories. He literally grew up, experienced his own childhood, had a whole identity cultivated based on those experiences and that life and continues to live his own life. To treat the situation like it's just him getting a bit of amnesia is wild to me
But also I hate when people continue to insist he's running from Dan Feng and his past and how he's miserable and shouldn't ever confront the past and deal with it as if his and Blade's whole stories aren't centered around rebirth and karma, paying for your past life's karma. He needed to confront the past to ensure a freer future! He literally has!! And he will continue to do so because he realizes this, DH isn't dumb and he's grown since we first saw him. He understands
But yeah uh I'm so tired
This whole thing feels very Ship of Theseus. What makes the ship what it is, the physical aspects of its planks, its sailing history, or both?
For him, the question is what makes someone who they are? Is it the body that makes them up and any inherent genetic factors (like traits)? Is it their experiences, how they've grown up, and the identity they've developed in that time? Or is it both factors mixed together?
Personally in the case of Dan Heng, I think it's both! Yeah he has a lot of traits from Dan Feng. There's a lot inherently there. But we can't disregard his own experiences and the identity that has formed based on his history and what he's seen.
Again I can't stress this enough... It is a false equivalent to compare him to people who lose their memories or get amnesia, he didn't just lose those memories. He started life from the beginning, a whole different kind of life. And even then, the amnesia topic comes with its own debates. Isn't there a whole other thought experiment regarding someone put to trial who ends up with amnesia and what their verdict should be?
I guess in the end, it's all up to people's own philosophical beliefs after what constitutes a person. My personal belief that DH and DF will always be connect but the separation between them is also meaningful is something based on my own ideas of what consisitutes a person and their individual identity, similar situation with how I see Rukkhadevata and Nahida as connected but still not the same person exactly. At the end of the day again, it's personal beliefs
But what I can't stand and can't stand by, is someone acting all high and mighty like they're perfectly right and everyone else is wrong, especially when they're cherrypicking or not holding all their evidence to the same standard. According to some ppl, apparently it's better in the CN fandom where instead of treating it like "I'm right you're wrong" people have divided themselves into "DF and DH one person" and "DF and DH two people" groups and most importantly of all, they treat both like theories and just keep to their space and tag which they believe when it's relevant. Why can't we just do that? Why can't we follow in their footsteps instead of bringing up this argument every so often with the same tired flaws from both sides?
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