#st peter

[tomicscomics]

04/26/2024

It's a metaphor!

What's a meta for?

Nothin! What's a meta for you!

*wheezes for six minutes straight without taking a breath*

___

JOKE-OGRAPHY: 1. In this Bible story, Jesus describes Himself as a vine (like a grapevine), and His disciples as its branches. Branches can only bear fruit while connected to the main vine. If their connection is severed or tainted, they wither and die, and then they're pruned, suitable only for being tossed in a fire. Jesus is warning His disciples that their mission's fruitfulness depends on their continued, dedicated, healthy connection with Him and His Father. 2. In this cartoon, after hearing Jesus's metaphor, Peter declares that he and the other apostles (the "branches" in Jesus's metaphor) will "stick" with the vine. A "stick" is a long, thin piece of wood (like a branch), but "stick" can also mean "stay connected to." This is an inferior pun, because while the word "stick" has the two above meanings, only one of those meanings makes grammatical sense in Peter's comment (the latter). 3. Jesus replies that the vine (Him, in the metaphor) will be "rooting" for them. "Rooting" can either mean "laying down roots" (as in a tree growing its roots into the ground), or "cheering on" (like an audience cheering for a sports team). This is a superior pun to Peter's, because both meanings make grammatical sense in Jesus's comment. His declaration can be taken to mean either (1) that, as the vine, He'll provide the apostles with roots to nourish their fruitfulness, or (2) that, as their teacher, friend, and Lord, He'll be cheering them on and supporting them in their mission.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is another "Tomics Resurrection," where I have plucked the desiccated husk of an old cartoon from the withered branch of the past, and gorged it with so many steroids and hormones that it blasphemes nature but looks way more colorful! Also, it's been slightly reworded to flow better while maintaining the meaning of the passage; the disciples have been moved inside to the Last Supper, since this reading takes place either during or just after; and the image of the grapevine is in the second panel now, including a lush branch and a withered branch to illustrate what Jesus is saying. Tell me, how does it compare?

[voxisdaddy]

Love Me, Please

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel

Pairings: Alastor/Lucifer/Adam/Husk/Angel/Vox/Valentino/Tom Trench/Saint Peter

Type: Scenarios/Comfort

C/TW: Swearing, blood, reader written with fem parts in mind (bc this bout periods, duh)

In which you miss your boyfriend/cling to your boyfriend and are being emotional about it. Basically—period emotions.

This is more for me bc it’s that time of the month and I desperately want some comfort lol | also Angel’s I left up to either be platonic or romantic

Alastor

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ He was at yet another unremarkable overlord meeting when he felt something pulling on him. Back at the hotel, you laid on your bed wrapped in a cocoon of sorts, eyes tiredly watching your shadow pulling on one of Alastor’s shadows-which he left to keep an eye on you. Alastor’s grin turned to one of amusement—oh how needy you are when it’s that time of the month for you. The meeting finally came to a close and instead of making his way back to the hotel with a lovely stroll, he disappears in his shadows. Not before bidding a friendly farewell with his dear friend, Rosie. He materializes in the center of your room with a shit eating grin as he twirls his microphone around.

“I was hardly apart from you for more than an hour, my dear.”

Lucifer

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Lucifer had errands he couldn’t postpone today and so he made you promise to text him when you miss him and he’ll make his way right back in a jiffy! The bedroom door only closed behind him when he got a text from you. An ‘I miss you’ along with a sad face emoticon. He burst the door open, tears welling up in his eyes, as he crawled back into bed with you to hold you close. You honestly thought he was more emotional than you at the moment.

“My poor ducky! I’m sowwy!”

Adam

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Adam has been around for ages so I like to think he knows a bit about menstruation. On top of that, he has an army of baddies he likes spending time with-usually training but that's still time spent with them regardless. However he's definitely still rough around the edges since usually with his girls, he uses that to egg them on into being tougher fighters either physically or emotionally. If you're a person who's quick to be a grump or a crying mess then uhhh...just know he doesn't mean to be a dick all the time. He tries though, despite how annoying and tiresome it is. Especially since you make him feel oh so special with how you seem to demand his attention and his attention only. Right now you lay on his chest, looking on at the items set on the coffee table with a glint of amusement.

"Babe-you said pads with wings! I got that! I even made sure the chicken wings came with the good sauce."

Husk

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Husk is very vigilant so he's quickly able to come to the conclusion that you're on your period before even you realize it. It was just after he finished closing up the bar and returned to your room for a late nights rest when he smelt it. He might technically be an old man, but he's a respectful one and has been around for quite some time. He knows that small. Despite knowing you might be embarrassed to find out that he can smell it, he figured you'd be more grateful that he woke you up so you can deal with it before you wake up feeling all gross and annoyed in the morning. Plus it was worth it to almost immediately get a hug from you after being apart for a few extra hours than he liked.

"Come on. Don't wanna ruin your new pajama's now, do you baby doll?

Angel Dust

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ This man was out on a much needed night out with his long time bestie, Cherri Bomb. You of course coming as his plus one that his bestie always welcomed like the supportive girly she is. He couldn't quite enjoy himself as much this time around though as he sat at in a corner booth with you hunched over your drink. You're hand gripping one of his hands as if you're afraid he's gonna leave. Despite how awkward he felt trying to comfort you, he did his best and allowed himself to be as sympathetic as much as he could.

"Toot's-if you wanna leave it's okay! You know I'll stick with ya! No need to make ya headache worse than it already is!"

Vox

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Vox still holds certain belief's and mindsets he had from his time in the 1950's. Part of that meaning him being 'grossed out' by your period and beliefs in woman faking or over exaggerating their monthly disturbances. He learned to keep his opinions to himself though, due to previous encounters with Velvette, and found it easier to just well, cater to your needs. They were easy enough for the most part. Food and beverage cravings? He's got ya covered. Cramps and aches? You're in luck because this man is basically one large heating pad. Which quickly became a downside for him because then you wanted him all the time. Didn't matter if he was working or not. He tried to put his foot down once but it only made you emotional so uhhh-

"Honey, I'll only be gone for one hour. As soon as the meeting ends, I'll lay my head on your stomach, okay?"

Valentino

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Valentino can only smirk to himself when he finds out it's now your time of the month. Which isn't hard to figure out since he woke up to you latched onto him like a koala this morning. A puff of red smoke invades your senses as a pair of arms wrap around your shoulders, a third hand coming to play with the top of your head. Valentino, spending years working with woman and people who endure this bloody cycle, knows a few...remedy's. He has his favourite solutions, obviously. Only if you're down. The last time he tried being more...persuasive with his advances to you during these times, it didn't go well-to put it lightly.

"Mi cariño~A good fucking helps with this time of the month, you kno-" ... "Or we could share some snacks. Kitty!"

Tom Trench

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ For this man I pray you are not a bitch on your period. Poor guy already has to deal with his co-star Katie Killjoy everyday. Whatever you deal with on your period though, just know your man is there and keeps your needy ass close. Such as right now, as you sit in an oversized fuzzy hoodie on Tom's couch, watching him and Katie host the latest news live. You glance down at your phone with Tom's messages open. You want to text him but you knew it wouldn't reach him anyways-they had to keep their devices on silent while they hosted. As soon as they were finished with their shift of the day however, Tom rushed to his dressing room to find you staring at the door with open arms.

"The interns told me you were waiting for me."

Saint Peter

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ This man would never admit it out loud, and if he did he would word it very carefully, but he loves it when its your time of the month. I mean he feels bad for you obviously; dealing with an inconvenience once a month even in your afterlife does not sound like any sort of blessing, but he's clingy and affectionate himself. And you clinging to him just as much? Oh it's like he's died and went to Heaven-again! Currently he lays on the couch with you in his arms, you both engulfing each other in a snuggly cuddle. He periodically checks the time-as much as he loves this he's still got a job to do. He voices this but quickly finds himself soothing you.

"I'm only going to work, sweetheart! P-please don't cry!"

This was supposed to be reader missing them but some of them became not exactly that and I’m sorry lol

I’ve had this in my drafts for a month, felt about right to finally post it. I’m also ashamed to admit, it took me way too long trynna figure out what to write for Tom’s dialogue. I love him but if I don’t know him as well as I thought 😭

[angele-darliing]

I wonder if Peter and Adam like know each other.

[illustratus]

Jesus Praying in the Garden by Gustave Doré

[tranquil-slaughterhouse]

[crimehat]

St. Peter appreciation post, let's go!

[kationella]

Friendly reminder that this man cut a bitch when they arrested Jesus 👇🏻

[kakabelorias]

Horns are meant for grabbing...

I read @hellisharchive 's Corruption of The Heavenly Body fanfic and felt inspired😭 🥰

This is the most NSFW thing I've ever done ohmylord ( ≧ᗜ≦)

[one-time-i-dreamt]

St. Peter visited a party and many things happened but the one I remember most is him losing his Xavier-like mind power to a yeti so now his detective skills are a few level behind Sherlock and the yeti is winning.

[nerdasaurus1200]

Ohhhh this just hit me

Lucifer isn’t the only one that doesn’t have a nose. It seems like this is a pattern with all the pure-blooded angels in heaven. Or at the very least high ranking angels.

And that might be at least part of why Adam and Lute and the other exterminators wear the kind of masks that they do. A mask with just eyes and a mouth and no real nose. To hide their humanity, to give off the impression at they are “real” angels and more powerful than they actually are.

[reimbright]

Peter

Peter looks like cotton candy. However, he seems overly excited and a bit narcissistic

[tomicscomics]

04/19/2024

John's lucky they hadn't invented buses yet.

___

JOKE-OGRAPHY:

In this Bible story, the Sadducees question Peter and John for their recent acts of healing. Peter tells them all their good deeds are done in the Name of Jesus. In this cartoon, he also hedges his testimony by blaming any perceived wrongdoings on John.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Don't tell the Sadducees, but this is another "Tomics Resurrection", where I've taken an old comic from the dead and brought it to life anew. I read the Sadducees were the sect of Jewish leadership more closely related to wealth and status, while the Pharisees were more focused on the religiousiness of religion. For this reason, I made the Sadducees in this new version dress in purple and gold, while the Pharisees might be redesigned to appear in more muted colors. We'll see! In the meantime, how do you think this compares to the original?

[voxisdaddy]

Sinful Alphabet

Saint Peter NSFW Alphabet

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel

Pairing: Saint Peter x Reader

C/TW: NSFW (duh), Adam mentioned, Implied!Switch Peter, He’s mostly subbing, Dom reader, reader mostly written as fem in mind

MDNI

A/N: This is all written with the mindset that Peter is very new to sexual intimacy. I feel like as time went on, the answers would differ. Plus also I really like the idea of a virgin saint Peter so like-💀

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ He’s usually in subspace for awhile after sex, so he probably wouldn’t do anything for the first several minutes. But he would love to hold your hand, stay close to you, and use his wings to wrap you both up snuggly together. Maybe ask if you’re hungry and want him to order anything for you.

B = Body Part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also you)

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ His favourite part of his body would probably have to be his hands. He loves running them over your body, through your hair, holding and groping you, fingering you, ect,. His hands are soft, delicate and always cold, loves how your body reacts to his touches.

His favourite body part on you is would have to be your mouth/lips. From how they feel against his lips, skin, wrapped around his cock, ect,. Plus the sweet pleasurable noises you make when you guys do it, with his name falling from your lips, gets him all needy.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum)

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ If you have a sweet tooth, you’d love the taste of his cum. He loves cumming down your throat the most. Watching you with watery blue eyes as you drink his cum like it’s your favourite milk is enough to get him hard again.

D = Dirty Secret (What’s their dirty secret)

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ During a particularly long shift at the golden/pearly gates of Heaven, his mind wondered off to fantasizing about you sitting underneath the podium, milking his cock with your mouth as he works. He got so hard but was so embarrassed and ashamed of it, he couldn’t face you, Sera, and anyone else for the next several days. May or may not have thought about that fantasy the next time you gave him head though.

E = Experience (How experienced are they?)

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ No experience. Not even in masturbation. You’re his first time ever. He’s been around for centuries and never did anything until you and him became a thing.

F = Favourite Position

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Saw @simphornies mention this and I 100% agree; Missionary and Cowgirl. He likes facing you and holding your hips, thighs, tits/chest, waist, ect,. His favourite is holding your hands though—he likes the intimacy and caring nature of it.

G = Goofy (Are they serious or goofy during sex?)

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Pretty serious. Maybe kind of goofy but in a dorky way? He wouldn’t crack a joke but he would maybe react kind of adorably and dork like since he’s so flustered. You pin him against a wall? “Ah—well—Uh..ha… hello there..” God he’s such a dork.

H = Hair (How well groomed down there are they?)

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Pretty well groomed. No bush, gets trimmed every now and then.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment? Romantically speaking)

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ He loves being intimate. He definitely prefers making love over sex, any day! He loves whispering praises to you, whether or not he’s topping or bottoming, he will tell you he loves you and how perfect he thinks you are. A big fan of stolen kisses while you do it.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ He feels kinda guilty doing it so he doesn’t do it often. Plus he prefers your hand, mouth, and body anyways so like—

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Praise kink (both giving and receiving). He has to let you know how perfect you are, how good you make him feel, and thank you for letting him touch and see your bare skin. When he receives praise though, he gets needy and kind of teary eyed, definitely sends him up to subspace quickly. Also gets really flustered and embarrassed. Oh you say he looks so pretty when he’s edged into oblivion? He’s definitely tearing up and whimpering.

He loves cock warming. He also hates it because come on! You’re being so unfair, sitting on his aching cock and not moving. Oh but he loves how closely intimate it is, how he gets to wrap his arms around you, holding you close, your hands entangling themselves into his hair, ect,. And when you do move? Oh my god he’s so relieved, he’s thanking you and moaning your name like it’s the only thing he knows how to say.

Overstimulation. He’s weak and is usually already a trembling mess just from a handjob, so he cums quickly. When you keep going though, sucking him dry, riding him, and milking him for several more rounds though? You could ask if he wants you to stop but he’s already babbling on incoherently about how he doesn’t want you to stop. Plus he likes how trembly he is when you’re done, cuz that usually means you take care of him and he has every excuse to cling to you as much as possible.

L = Location (Favourite place to do it)

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Privacy of the bedroom. Your bedroom, his bedroom, shared room, hotel room, whatever. He just wants a big bed to lay on or to lay you on while you go at it like rabbits—with full privacy of course.

M = Motivation (What turns them on?)

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Honestly he’s kind of easy to turn on—especially when it comes to you. Whisper a few dirty words to him, pin him against a wall, tease him, bend over in front of him, ect,. It’s easier to just say ‘you’, honestly. You could go out for milkshakes and he’d completely innocently watch you lick the white substance from your lips and his mind goes places. Granted he feels dirty and embarrassed by it so please don’t tease him about it :c

N = No (What will they not do?)

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Anything where either of you get hurt-even just a lil bit—is off the table. Want him to spank you? No, no, sweetheart! Why would he do that? He just wants to worship you and love you.

Also anything where people could hear or see you. He hopes the bedroom walls are soundproof cause his jealousy side does not like the idea of anyone hearing your noises and seeing your body the way only he should get to see it. He once accidentally walked in on you changing and despite his very flustered state, he lightly scolded you for leaving the door unlocked. What if someone else walked in?! :c

O = Oral (Do they prefer giving or receiving? How skilled are they?)

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ As mentioned quite a few times already, he loves getting head from you. Your pretty mouth wrapped around his cock sucking, licking, and kissing—it drives him crazy. He’s not selfish though, he loves giving you head as well. Got a pussy he could eat out? He’s already sitting on the floor by the edge of the bed with your legs spread over his shoulders as he eats you out like you’re a delicious last meal.

He’s surprisingly good at it, despite having no experience before you came into his life. It mostly stems from him being kind of unsure of himself and just trying as much as he can so he can please you just as amazing as you please him. It works. Maybe a little too well though but that’s okay! He’ll spread your thighs apart and whisper sweet praises to you as he takes another lick of your sweet juices.

P = Pace (Fast and rough? Slow and sensual?)

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ He likes starting slow and getting faster. Slow because of the intimacy and being in the moment with you but as the night wears on, the more needy and desperate you both get and he just can’t get enough of you. He needs either you riding him until he can’t breathe anymore or his cock so balls deep in you that only his name is all you know.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies over proper sex)

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ He doesn’t…mind them. I mean, they still feel good and since it’s you, of course he’ll do it buuuuuut he prefers proper sex-er, love making. Honestly if you both don’t have enough time, oral is preferred. If you do get a quickie in though, please still hold his hand and make him feel loved when you’re done your little fun together. It’s the love and care that he craves.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, take risks, ect?)

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Not really. Public fun maybe, but that’s usually reserved for oral and even then, he wants/needs you guys to be somewhere at least 98% private. Want to suck him while spending the day at the beach? Yes, sweetheart, of course you can but please not here—let’s find someplace a lot more secluded, okay?

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go? How long do they last?)

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ He cums quickly and gets hard from a few dirty words and naughty touches from you. In other words he’s sensitive as fuck but please don’t stop, he loves the overstimulation and those pretty noises you make. The most he’ll be able to go is about 4 rounds before it starts feeling so overwhelmingly good that it actually starts to hurt. If you can still go however, he’s more than happy to let you sit on his face. He’ll be so lost in subspace, the only thing on his mind would be you and the taste of your pretty pussy.

T = Toys (Do they have any toys?)

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Adam gifted him a fleshlight once, just to be a dick and tease him. You guys do use it though sometimes—mainly when you feel particularly cruel and want to tease him. Straddle him, using the fleshlight to jerk him off while he sits there trembling and begging for you to stop teasing him. It feels good but you just feel so much better.

U = Unfair (How much they like to tease)

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Despite how subby I made him out to be, sometimes he’ll take charge. He’s definitely a switch, leaning more towards bottoming. When he’s topping though, he likes to tease you by eating you out over and over. It’s one of the few times he gets to hear you whine and whimper, his name falling from your lips like a prayer, as he drives you so, so close! One of the other reasons he teases you like this, is because he knows he doesn’t really last that long in bed compared to you. So getting you all needy, desperate, and wet for him is basically part of his plan to get you to cum good and all over him when he finally fucks his cock into you.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds do they make?)

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ He’s pretty loud. He doesn’t scream but he isn’t like, a quiet fuck either. He whimpers, moans, and begs—doesn’t matter if he’s topping or bottoming. If you peg him-or you got a dick-though, he’s screaming in pleasure. Tries to be quiet, not that successful.

W = Wild Card (random nsfw headcanon)

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ LOVES lazy morning sex. You’re both so sleepy, yet so needy, loving, and clinging to each other the entire time. It’s like you can’t keep your lips off of each other. When he’s topping, he loves hovering above you, holding your body close to him, exchanging many loving good morning kisses as he finds a nice steady rhythm to fuck his cock into you nice and deep.

When you’re topping he likes sitting up against the pillows and headboard as you lazily ride and grind against him. His hands he wouldn’t know what to do with as all he wants is to keep touching you and keep you close. Definitely always kissing each other though. He loves it when you eat each other’s moans like this ♥︎

X = X-Ray (What are they packing?)

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ He’s pretty average at about 5 inches. Fully erect though he’s about 6 inches. His cock is decently thick. Like the rest of him, it’s paper white but the head has a golden hue. Surprisingly heavy balls—probably from the literal centuries they’ve gone having not been emptied.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ Not high so he wouldn’t really initiate that often. If you initiated though, that’s another story. It just needs to be with you and plus only you can really get him going. If you have a high sex drive, don’t worry, you won’t be flying solo a lot. And when he gets into it, he gets into it. Could and will go hours upon hours because of you.

Z = ZZZ (How quick they fall asleep afterwards?)

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒ It takes a lot out of him, especially when he’s bottoming/subbing. So he can easily fall into slumber but he loves the aftercare so he stays up until your both settled. Then he’ll allow himself to drift off to sleep with you right next to him.

A/N: I’ve been wanting to make this for so long and then finally at like 1am I was like, you know what… I’ll do it. And now it’s 4am and my sleep schedules ruined—

Heh, worth it though

Also might’ve went a bit ham on the “Kink’s” portion I’m so sorry 💀💀

[found-in-nomadland]

St. Peter’s Church

Munich, Germany

[lunameimei]

Meanwhile, in front of the Gate of Heaven~

I love the headcanon that Sir Pentious ended up right in the Seraphim's room, since he himself was reborn as a Seraphim. Therefore, it makes sense for our Egg Boiz to appear, like all new arrivals, in front of the Gate!

But I’m afraid that Saint Peter will have a breakdown, he has not recovered yet from the situation with Charlie 😭

[artthatgivesmefeelings]

Caravaggio (Italian, 1571-1610) The Crucifixion of St. Peter, 1601 Cerasi Chapel, Santa Maria del Popolo, Rome "If we suffer, we shall also reign with him: if we deny him, he also will deny us" (2 Timothy 2:12). - The Bible