#stan uris headcanons

[liv45no]

One afternoon in the barrens the losers all tried to spell out Eddie’s last name for a bet. All of them failed miserably.

“K-A-S-B-”

“Noop. Next.”

“K-A-S-P-R-”

“Close. Try again.”

“K-A-S-S-B-”

“wHaT tHe fUcK-”

[fresh-and-funky]

I have a funny and nonsensical IT headcanon… I think it would be hilarious if Richie and Patty were cousins.

IT’s magic kept the losers from meeting, but Richie and Patty had a standing once-a-month call they never missed. Somehow he never met his cousin’s husband. Missed the wedding too, flight got canceled last minute….

I think it would stress Stan out and I love that.

[incorrect-losers]

any stozier friendship hc's?

looking for a friend

AHHHH OH MY GOODNESS I LOVE THIS QUESTION OK UMM

Stan and Richie 100% created their own language when they were 8 and 9 respectively and have continued using it forever. (It’s mostly used to talk shit about the other losers (Bill))

Stan gets really choked up when under pressure/when all attention’s on him (mostly because of his dad), but Richie is always able to see the signs that Stan’s panicking and derails the entire subject (it’s what he does best). They don’t talk about how that’s why Richie did that but Stan’s always grateful

Richie’s usually the only one that picks up on Stan’s overly complicated jokes (he ended up laughing too hard at a joke Stanley said about Bowers being Pavlov given the way he gets his dogs to drool, the losers thought he was mocking Stan)

Stan carries around a cloth to clean Richie’s glasses, them being dirty doesn’t bother Richie but it drives Stan up the wall

They both did little league together, Stan was really good, meanwhile Richie was in outfield picking daises. Stan ended up making the middle school baseball team. After the whole It debacle he told Richie if he had swung at a ball half as well as he swung at that clown he might’ve actually made it onto the team with him

Richie bought Stan his first puzzle as a joke when they were kids, calling it the lame joke present before giving Stan his real gift. Stan absolutely loved it though, it started his love for puzzles and he ended up glueing and framing it

They do a daily lunch swap because Stan loves Wentworth’s egg salad sandwiches and Richie can’t get enough of Andrea’s famous pasta salad

They’ve always 100% without question not skipping a beat said the other was their best friend when asked. Yes, all the losers are all best friends but Stan and Richie have always been the closest and everyone knew it.

[spageds]

bill's probably the only one who takes proper interest and enjoyment in stan's birdwatching hobby, he listens to him talk about the little creatures for ages, he could probably listen for days. so stan always takes him out with him birdwatching whenever possible, appreciating bill's engagement.

[sunshinereddie]

i think that stanley would actually really enjoy horror movies because he is very much the type of person who is like "it's not real. it's a movie. i know it's not real, so why would i be scared of it. what do you mean this movie is scary, it's literally people acting it's not real" and so because of that whenever the losers have movie night he always chooses a horror movie.

and, im also imagining that he does this because richie DOES get scared of horror movies (payback for when richie made fun of him for being scared of spiders)

also!!! he finds out that patty ALSO loves horror movies so for their first date stan finds this drive-in movie thing that is playing horror movies all night, so he takes her there and they have a movie marathon together :3

[uriekukistan]

tokyo ghoul characters in a ballet class

kaneki is trying his best but he’s like an awkward little duckling. generally not bad, but constantly questioning why he’s there. always in the back of the class. he can’t fully keep up with the moves and is tripping over his feet.

hide is having the time of his life. absolutely horrible at ballet but smiling the whole time and laughing at his own mistakes. making comments about the “funny words” for the moves. teacher’s nightmare.

haise, unlike kaneki, while still awkward and tripping, is having a great time. very eager to learn. putting 100% effort into everything even though he’s not very good. teacher loves him because he always takes feedback very well.

touka is angry and frustrated the whole time. annoyed because what the teacher tells her to do is “physically impossible.” in my mind, shes not suuuper flexible. limps out of class bc she may have dislocated her hip to get a 90°+ extension.

ayato is similar to touka in that he’s angry and frustrated the whole time because he can’t do anything properly. unlike touka, who complains in her head, he complains out loud. gets thrown out of class for sassing the teacher.

shuu probably already knows ballet. if he doesn’t, he’s definitely a natural. ballet seems like something shuu would really like. super dramatic with everything and gets so into it. class is his stage. has really high jumps.

juuzou loves petit allegro (little jumps). he hates barre though. weirdly good, but he gets so dizzy during turns and lays on the floor after. naturally flexible and the class regulars hate him for it.

do yall remember when naki called shuu an american because he kept yelling in french? well he gets really confused in class and gets kicked out when he yells at the teacher and calls them a stupid american.

saiko makes it through tendus before she gives up and goes to sleep in the corner. she doesn’t wake up when the teacher asks her to leave, so they just leave her there in the corner. either that or she has a lot of fun bouncing around like the sunshine she is.

shirazu talks the entire time the teacher is giving the combination, and the when the music starts, he has no idea what to do. follows other people to get through the combination. not bad at barre actually, but can’t keep up with center.

urie keeps it well hidden, but he secretly enjoys ballet. ballet combines the creativity of painting, and the physical activity of working out, so it’s perfect for him. despite this, no matter how much he tries, he’s not great. he secretly goes to classes a lot though.

mutsuki is actually good but kind of hates it. he might like it more if it didn’t involve tights and a leotard. he’s very graceful and delicate with the way he dances. the teacher loves him and he gets lots of compliments.

[respect-snails]

I’m relistening to Stephen King’s It, and Stanley Uris is so autistic coded I can’t believe I didn’t catch that before. As an adult, having very specific routines to the point his wife is immediately on something being wrong just because he slightly varies his evening schedule? As a kid being “stuffy” and very rule-oriented and quiet? Being, out of the Losers, the most affected by It just because It doesn’t follow the laws of this universe? Dying because he couldn’t live in a world that didn’t have solid, reliable rules? The fucking birds? There’s no way that kid was allistic.

[thelosers-club]

Headcanon that beverly made friendship bracelets for the losers and they all have them on their wrists at all times even richie who made fun of it but wore it anyways

[princess-glassred]

Losers Club Minecraft Headcannons

Richie

Constantly hopping up and down with out any signs of stopping. He is literally unable of walking anywhere in minecraft, and he constantly crouches and uncrouches whenever he has to stand still. If he stops being stimulated for one moment he wants to punch things.

Had a serious tnt and flint and steel problem at one point, now it's a server rule to limit his tnt usage and keep it far away from everyone's base.

Built a lot of penis shaped buildings before the novelty wore off.

Basically just a minecraft parasite, never gathering materials of his own and just constantly going "is for me 👉🏻👈🏻🥺". Stan's not even sure he wants to play the game, just wants to hang out with them.

constantly decked out in gold armor until he realized how shitty it was.

names all his animals stupid shit because he knows it annoys the crap out of Eddie

Mic quality is ABYSMAL. he sounds like he's conversing with them from the marianas trench.

His frame rate is also pretty ass

Dies A LOT.

Minecraft skin is a creeper in suit

Ben

Very good at redstone and building houses, sometimes using Redstone to create really cool effects around his base.

Has been approached multiple times by Eddie literally BEGGING him to build him a secret space so Richie doesn't touch his shit.

He really likes the End but hates the Nether for some reason

has a collection of secret little redstone projects somewhere he won't let his friends see cause they're kinda personal.

Wrote poetry for Bev in one of those minecraft books then threw it in the ocean.

Master of the command block

Extensively checks the minecraft wiki

Trades with villagers the most out of everyone

Knows all the mods cause he's addicted to watching minecraft mod showcases

The only one who can figure out what the fuck education edition is

Minecraft skin is just a space texture

Eddie

-Constantly nervous about going caving or being out at night, he will start SPRINTING the second sundown hits

Utterly terrified of minecraft cave noises

Overfeeds himself all the time since the hunger bar makes him anxious

freaks out if he's under the water for even a second

Keeps his chests well organized but not nearly as much as Stan

One time Richie pranked him by telling him he better set his spawn point in the nether by sleeping and then the bed exploded, killing him. He's dreaded going to the nether ever since.

Plays minecraft the least since his mom doesn't want him on the computer too much

Spent his first night in minecraft cowering in a hole

In a weird fued with Richie where they only communicate through passive aggressive signs "Why would you keep your mom in a cage, Eddie?" "STAN FOR FUCKS SAKE BAN HIM".

Minecraft skin is literally just him, fanny pack and all

Bev

Simply adores doing little art projects on the server. She particularly loves pixel art but if she wants them to have cool effects she'll ask Ben for help red stoneing them sometimes.

Base is absolutely riddled with flowers, she really has an eye for that kinda stuff.

Really good at combat actually, especially when it comes to bows and arrows. She's had to go down and save Eddie and Richie from dying in the mines multiple times.

She fucking loves cherry wood, her whole house is cherry wood

Has like a million dogs with different colored collars

The queen of the dyes, everybody comes to her for dyes and bonemeal 24/7

Hosted a minecraft fashion show using armor stands and all the boys were surprisingly into it.

Minecraft skin in her in a white dress and flower crown

Bill

Whenever they wanna take a group screenshot he's the one to do it.

gave everyone a big rallying speech before they went into the end, only for Eddie to get glitched into a block and die right after

Very good at building mob spawners for some reason

Didn't even build his house, just went to a village and stole one of theirs

Richie dared him to write an entire novel in one of the minecraft books so he's ACTUALLY DOING IT

Loves his minecraft horse more than anything. Sometimes you can just find him riding that thing in a circle for funsies.

Always making sure to check on everyone's needs "B-bev you got enough f-fuh-food?" "Mike is your h-health good?" "Eddie is your p-pickaxe almost broken?"

Likes to type messages instead of talk since he's a little embarrassed by his stutter

The only person who knows about the poem Ben through in the ocean, he saw it but he's keepin quiet about it because it was awkward as fuck.

Minecraft skin is some random novel character nobody has ever heard of

Stan

The best at minecraft by far, and has beaten the game about a hundred times.

Ate a porkchop one time and everyone freaked the fuck out

Doing the most work out of everyone on this server

Punches Richie anytime he's gettin too rowdy

Has like a million safety things set in place around his base to protect himself from Richie's grubby little hands, including a moat.

He actually owns the server they're on, which makes Richie crack a lot of "Get off good christian jewish minecraft server!!" jokes.

The very first of the bunch to get Diamond armor, followed by Bill

Gear absolutely stacked with enchantments

Minecraft skin is just a much more detailed and higher quality version of the steve skin

Mike

Doesn't get to play often since his uncle makes him work

Because he doesn't enjoy killing animals for his uncle he's become the biggest animal lover in minecraft

He has EVERYTHING and he'd adopt a creeper if they'd let him

He has a chicken named Richie, a dog named Bill, a cow named Ben, a mooshroom named Beverly, a horse named Stan, and a sheep named Eddie.

He's also trying to do a vegan let's play cause he really really doesn't wanna hurt the cute little minecraft mobs. He really doesn't even wanna kill slimes.

New to video games in general so Stan is patiently and delicately guiding him through the step by step process.

Everyone's constantly losing track of where he is and then finding him again on like Bev's roof or inside a random hole.

One time everyone got hungry so in a panic he hid all his animals underneath his house.

Accidentally blew up one of Bev's projects and let Richie take the blame cause he was scared

Minecraft skin is default Steve, but Stan's working on a custom one for him.

Feel free to reblog/reply to this with some of your own i would love to hear em.

[byler-is-endgame7]

stan DEFINITELY corrects everyone with “actually,” whenever they say something wrong 

and richie DEFINITELY mocks him all the time for it 

“this is gonna cost us $3.00 we won’t have enough guys” 

“actually, stan,” *pushing up glasses* “it’s $2.99 so-”

“richie sHUT UP”

[whatthefuckisasweep]

you've heard of selectively mute Bill now get ready for nonverbal Stan

anon. anon. ANON. I LOVE YOU.

[the-losers-are-still-losing]

the losers do powerpoint night

stan goes first, his presentation is titled ‘the losers as bird species’. they’re all really niche species and nobody really understands what he’s saying, but his reasons are really accurate and he finds himself pretty funny.

bill is next, his is short but sweet and simply describes his ideas for the losers’ next days out. everybody gets excited discussing plans, dates, similar alternatives, and eventually all of the ideas he puts forward do happen (and they all enjoy them very much).

ben and eddie have collaborated on theirs to create ‘the losers as disney characters’. unbeknownst to them until now, ben has spent painstaking hours photoshopping each of the losers’ faces onto each of their assigned characters, which everybody finds incredibly funny. it’s also highly obvious that ben was the one to assign ariel to bev, whilst it was eddie who chose vanellope von schweetz for richie.

mike presents his top five derry conspiracy theories, which isn’t actually as boring as you’d expect from the title. he presents each and every point with genuine detail and has clearly done his research, but the theories themselves are so ridiculous you can’t help but laugh. he’s fully aware of this and makes it clear that of course he doesn’t seriously believe in them (okay, maybe one or two of them).

bev and richie’s joint project finishes the night (after having begged everybody to let them go last, convinced that theirs is a high note to end on). the duo present ‘the losers as our favourite memes’, and proceed to spam their eyes with the most chaotic tik toks, textposts and cursed images. they both claim they worked very very hard on this and that they should be taken completely seriously, but their powerpoint actually takes the longest to present since they can’t help but crease up laughing for a full minute every time they change the slide.

[incorrect-losers]

When Georgie was born Bill was absolutely obsessed with him. It was constantly,

“Mommy can I hold him” “Dad can I feed him?” “Hi Georgie I’m your big brother Bill”

This was also when he was just meeting the losers and becoming friends since they’d be pre-k/kindergartners. So he’d bring over Eddie, Richie, and eventually Stan (year younger problems) to just play with Georgie.

Bill would always call himself big brother Bill when talking to Georgie so the losers started calling him Big Bill, and that’s how he got his nickname.

(+Richie was having a play date with Bill when Georgie said his first word and brags about it/ lies about what Georgie said to the losers constantly)

[spageds]

headcanon 3 (crazy right) richie genuinely enjoys a lot of weird food combos, anything abysmal you can think of, he likely eats it. he's the reason stanley refuses to sit anywhere near him at lunch, and the reason eddie nearly throws up every time they go to a fast food chain

[liv45no]

I bet with y’all it took the losers several years to figure out Bill’s actual name is William.

Like imagine that police officer from the IT book catching them all doing non-allowed stuff in the barrens again and being like, “Edward! Stanley! Beverly! Michael! Benjamin! Richard! William, what the hell do you think you’re doing?!”

Confused faces. Bev reaching out her head to the side to look at her friends whether someone recognizes the name. Stan shrugs. Richie blurting out, “who’s William?”

And bill, completely confuzzled from his side, “tha-that’s my real name.”

+bonus

“Sorry to hear that, man,”

- Richie

[freak4it]

absolutely LOVE their friendship. this is them, cannot change my mind.