#standing in front of the heart with 1 hp to my name playing the same two identical cards and giggling the whole time | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

anyebbeo · 7 years ago

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they say home is where the heart is 1/2 [shineemulti!pairings I r I hogwarts!au]

pairings: sensualplatonic!taekey, jongkey, sensualplatonic!jongtae, platonic!minkey, jongho, onkey, jongkeytae (lots of poly goodness, basically) rating: r genre: hogwarts!au, fluff, friendship, slight romance, slight angst. warning: mentions of sexual situations, mentions of alcohol, language, brief mentions of body image, mentions of oppression and mistreatment of minorities length: ~30k (part 1) a/n: i took the liberty to add some stuff in here that's not actually a thing in the hp universe because i can and i wanted to :P also, this thing is massive and it's only the first part...idek what i'm doing anymore xD anyway, i hope you guys like it and i'm looking forward to writing the second part. i shall post it as soon as i can^^ and don't worry, i'm definitely planning to move back to more original aus after this. i just really had to get this story out of my system. thank you all for reading and until the next chapter~

Taemin's heart is hammering in his chest as he strides down the school's hallways. His gaze darts from left to right - in a frenzy, almost - taking in the framed paintings adorning the plain stone walls to make sure he isn't going into the wrong direction. But although he swears he has walked past the weeping lady in her blood-stained dress before, he has been living with himself for long enough to never trust his sense of direction. Not since that one time at Mahoutokoro, when he opened the wrong door - entirely convinced that it was one he'd used a million times before, mind you - and almost had all of his hair burned off by a fire spewing dragon. So there is a wave of relief washing over him when the entrance to the Slytherin common room comes into view as he turns what has to be the twentieth corner in just a few minutes. Fastening his pace, there is a smile on his face and a spring to his step now that he knows he hasn't led himself into the wrong part of the building. His enthusiasm is short-lived, however. Because as soon as his steps come to a halt, it finally sinks in that he can't for the life of him remember what the stupid password is. "Are you just gonna keep standing there or what?" A voice startles him from behind. Whipping his head around, Taemin comes face to face with another boy, tall and black-haired, with clear amusement curling the corners of his lips. Taemin has no idea how he managed to approach him without a sound in a place where every step echoes through hallway after hallway, but the thought slips from his mind as quickly as it came. "Sorry, I don't-" Taemin begins, redness rising into his cheeks. "It's 'Devil's Snare'," The boy says, the wall in front of them giving a rumble at the words as the passageway to the dungeon is revealed. "The password," He clarifies, advising "You better remember it," when Taemin keeps staring at him, still taken aback and more than a little lost. "Right," Taemin shakes himself out of his stupor, smiling sheepishly, "Thanks." "You're the new guy, aren't you?" The boy asks as he gestures for Taemin to step into the common room first. Nodding 'yes', Taemin climbs down the slippery stairs, careful not to trip and make a fool out of himself twice in a matter of mere seconds. "My memory isn't very good, sorry," He apologises, somehow hoping to find a way to communicate to the boy that contrary to what his first impression may suggest, he really isn't as scatterbrained as he seems. Although many would say otherwise, perhaps, but that's beside the point. He never receives a response, however. Instead, the boy musters him for a moment, before he simply observes "You're cute. But your accent is funny," and Taemin blinks at the blunt comment. He has no idea what he is supposed to respond to that. But the boy doesn't seem to expect him to. "Aren't you Korean?" He asks instead, his sharp eyes mustering him as if he can't yet decide what to make of him. "Yeah," It takes Taemin a moment to realise that the question is referring to the 'funny accent'-part of the boy's comment. "I've always lived in Japan, though," He explains, and the boy shrugs. "Fair enough." Following up with a simple introduction of "I'm Kibum," he adds "I arrived a bit late this year cause I was out of the country. Traveling large distances by ship is a shitty idea, I'm telling you," and Taemin nods along to all of it, making a mental note not to forget the boy's name by the time they have made it up to the dormitory. "What about you?" Kibum asks. "Umm…" Taemin falters, the conversation moving along much too quickly for his taste. He isn't usually this slow - he swears he's not - but he's tired and overwhelmed by all the new impressions to begin with, and this whole jumping from one topic to the next thing isn't helping. "Your name," Kibum supplies. 'Oh, right,' He thinks, another wave of embarrassment washing over him as he offers "It's Taemin." It doesn't seem like Kibum is too bothered by his awkwardness, though. Quite the contrary, if the smile and the good-natured "Nice to meet you, Taemin," he offers in response are anything to go by. Taemin appreciates it. Most people's patience would have begun to run thin by now. "Ohh," Kibum turns around, his face lighting up as if he just remembered something incredibly important and Taemin has no idea what to expect. "Welcome to Hogwarts," He says, adding an entirely unnecessary wink at the end and beaming at him so brightly, he rivals the sun. Taemin prays that his blushing isn't too noticeable.

///

Kibum's bed is the one right next to his. Of course it is. Taemin remembers now, how one of his upperclassmen had informed him that his neighbour wouldn't arrive until the end of the first school week and he wants to punch himself in the face for always being so inattentive. Because he would have had far more time to freak out about meeting the person he's going to be sharing such an intimately small space with for at least the entire next year if his head wasn't always so far up in the clouds. His bed is tucked away into the furthest corner of the dormitory next to a large window. With a heavy, green curtain to pull close if he needs to and shielded from his fellow students' eyes by a wall, too. He spent his entire first day wondering how he got so lucky. Because there is no way this kind of privacy would be so easily offered to him without a catch. After a night of freezing winds blowing in through the draft in the window, it did make sense to him, though, that his bed had been left empty until now. Kibum doesn't mind the cold, apparently. Which is why he had oh-so graciously volunteered to occupy the bed right next to his. That's what he told him, at least. Taemin is pretty sure Kibum is bullshitting, though. Because the older boy never seems to actually sleep in his bed to begin with. Whenever Taemin switches off his lights in the evening, Kibum's is nowhere to be seen and whenever he wakes up - whether it's a few moments of consciousness during the night or early in the morning - Kibum's duvet is unwrinkled and his pillow soft and puffy. And he is curious, but he doesn't ask. Because it's too soon and he doesn't want to scare Kibum off with probing questions when they haven't even seen each other cry yet. (Plus, he's a bit glad Kibum isn't around at night to witness him fall off the edge of his bed time and time again, because he is so used to sleeping in a futon where the ground is never so damn far away.) He easily decides that he could have ended up with a dorm mate a lot worse than Kibum, though. Someone smelly, or someone with anger issues or someone who'd steal from the small stash of Gummy Worms and Sour Strips he's got tucked away under his bed for when the craving for sugar hits. Kibum is none of these things. If anything, he's the exact opposite. Taemin didn't intend to hang around him a lot. He doesn't want to be the kind to trail the first friendly person he meets like a lost duckling. But it is actually Kibum who approaches him most of the time. He's always ready to walk him to class if he struggles to find his way, has invited him to eat with his small circle of friends more than once (an offer Taemin really wants to take him up on, even though meeting new people is always terrifying enough to make him feel sick) and he definitely doesn't smell bad. And his occasional snark and sarcasm, too, are a source of entertainment for him more than anything. Even if he thinks it'll take some time for him to tell when the older boy is messing with him and when he's actually being serious. He just hopes that the inappropriate flirting he will get used to as well. Eventually.

///

"Taemin?" He flinches at the call of his name, bouncing off the walls, in a volume so loud, he can't even pretend to have missed it. "Ohh, hi," Taemin turns in his spot, rearranging his expression into something that doesn't look like he's been wandering around the same two hallways for the past fifteen minutes with panic spreading through his chest. Because he knows exactly where he is going. He totally does. "What are you doing here? You know this is the staircase up to the Owlery, right?" Kibum asks. "Yeah, sure, I-" Taemin nods, feigning confidence, but Kibum cuts him off halfway, seeming to have made the decision already, that he isn't going to play pretend and humour him today. "You don't own an owl," Kibum pulls up one of his eyebrows, amusement written all over his face and Taemin can no longer deny that he's been caught. "I'm late to Divination," He sighs, dejected. He hates how much help he needs with something that should come naturally to him by now. There had been stubbornness burning like a flame in his chest when he first left the Slytherin common room this morning. Determination to finally find his way by himself because it really isn't that hard. But the flame has become more of a faint glimmer at this point. At least he did make it to a tower, though. That's an accomplishment. Even if it isn't the one he is supposed to be at right now. "Want me to take you?" Kibum wraps an arm around his shoulder and begins to guide him into the opposite direction without waiting for an answer. "Aren't you supposed to be in class, too?" Taemin demands in a feeble attempt to steer the older boy's attention away from his hopeless struggle to find his way (and cover up just how tense their sudden closeness makes him feel). "The professor is sick," Kibum says. "I was on my way to the Green houses 'cause I read about this really cool bulb that can be used to make people admit their darkest secrets and I could have sworn I saw some of them the last time I-" "That sounds terrifying, what the fuck?" Taemin blurts out, realising a bit too late that he shouldn't be cursing around someone a good bit older than him. Kibum doesn't even bat an eyelash though and 'Oh, that's right,' Taemin thinks. He keeps forgetting that formalities and honorifics aren't quite so strict here. "I'm not gonna use them on you, relax," Kibum chuckles. "You're not gonna use them on anyone, I hope," Taemin insists, disbelieving. "Of course not," Kibum responds, in the kind of voice that makes Taemin doubt his every word. "I'm gonna study them." "It's good to know how these things work in case someone does end up using them on you, you know?" Taemin isn't sure how to communicate 'Nope, I don't and that still sound terrifying' without sounding like an ass. So he lets out a vague hum and asks Kibum about his breakfast instead. Taemin sees him sitting with his friends sometimes - two guys from Gryffindor, one tall and lanky and the other short and bubbly, and sometimes a girl from Hufflepuff, with long blonde hair and a large assortment of colourful buttons pinned to her cloak. And Kibum keeps trying to make him join them. He hasn't had the courage to tag along yet, though. Most of his meal times have been spent alone, in the library or down in the Slytherin common room, reading about the Magical Creatures of Great Britain or messaging Jongin or thumbing through one of his favourite Manga. Kibum is all smiles as he talks about the newest events at their table. About Jonghyun who mistook one of his most awful tasting herbal mixtures for tea and almost threw up after he downed the whole thing and his best friend Minho and how he is preparing to try out for the Quidditch team for the sixth year in a row (and how he doesn't doubt for a second that he will make it in). Nodding in all the right places, Taemin is proud at his mind for actually focusing on what Kibum is saying for once, instead of drifting off at the first chance it gets. He always does his best to listen, but fails to stay present more often than not. So it's nice to be able to pay attention for once. Not just fake it and hope no one notices. Especially because he likes listening to Kibum a lot.

Before he knows, they are standing in front of the large wooden door leading to his Divination classes and Kibum opens his arms in an exaggerated gesture of 'Et voilà, we have arrived'. Taemin laughs. "Thanks for your help," He says, feeling only mildly embarrassed at the habitual bow accompanying his words. He doesn't doubt for a second that he would still be wandering around the wrong part of school if Kibum didn't find him. "Sure," Kibum lifts his hand in an exaggerated wave, adding a "See you later cutie," before he turns around to make his way back down the tower. Taemin is ashamed to admit that the comment leaves him so flustered, he needs another five minutes to calm down enough to will his feet to move.

'This school fucking sucks. It's a goddamn labyrinth I'm telling you.' He texts Jongin later, only half of the added emojis expressing frustration and the other half being thrown in there simply because they are cute. 'You can always come back here,' Jongin replies, the picture he has attached alongside showing him sitting by the small pond of baby Firekoi they used to spend countless free periods at. Taemin chuckles at the utter lack of sympathy in his friend's words. It hasn't even been two months and of course nothing much has changed. But Taemin is always relieved to see how similar everything he left behind still is. The same pond, the same glowing Koifish with their golden scales and bright lights illuminating the water. And the same merciless best friend - although his hair is shorter than Taemin last saw it. He had threatened to get an owl and only send Jongin letters when he first moved to London just to pay him back for all the teasing, but there is no way he will actually resort to the Wizarding world's outdated mailing system. He isn't quite sure, why Muggles are so much more advanced when it comes to technology (or rather, why the Wizarding world is holding on to owls delivering their letters in handwritten form with such determination), but of course he isn't going to exchange his smartphone and its ability to send messages in the blink of an eye for an owl that will struggle to even make it from England to France. 'We've had your favourite sashimi like four times this week,' Another message pops up at the bottom of their chatroom, topped off with picture proof and all. 'Fuck you, I'm going to sleep.' Sometimes Taemin kind of hates his best friend.

///

The potion in his cauldron is of a deep purple colour, steam rising from its surface at a sluggish pace. Eyeing his half-emptied vial of unicorn horn powder in confusion, Taemin chances a glance around the room, his shoulders slumping when he realises everyone else hasn't even made it past the fifth step yet. Although he doubts it would be smart for him to accept any help from his fellow fifth years, either way. Because the colours of their potions are ranging from bright green to dirty orange, the latter of which looks far from healthy and the former of which is just utterly wrong, but hey, no one is asking him. 'Until the potion turns pink' it says in his textbook. But he has been adding more for a solid five minutes now and nothing has happened yet and this can't be right. He has made this potion before - more than once - and he's only ever needed a pinch or two at most. He hates asking questions, though, and their teacher is bustling about as new hands keep rising left and right and Taemin guesses he will have to figure this one out by himself. He just hopes he won't blow himself up in the process.

There is a pleasant sense of accomplishment fluttering in his chest, as he exits class twenty minutes later. His potion had turned out decent enough, albeit not quite how it was supposed to be. But he had figured out somewhere along the line that the concentration of the unicorn horn powder provided in Hogwarts simply isn't as strong as the one they used for their potions in Mahoutokoro. So that has been quite the discovery and definitely something to keep in mind for future Potion classes. Paying no mind to the few students still hanging around in the corridor outside the classroom, he doesn't notice how one of the is whispering to the other, or how they get the kind of look on their faces that screams trouble, but the next thing he knows he is stumbling, some of his books landing on the ground in front of him while he just so manages to keep himself on his feet. "Oww, what was that for?" He demands to know, turning to glare at them as he crouches to gather his things. "Ohh, so you can speak English," The taller one says, feigning surprise. 'Of course I can,' Taemin wants to shoot back, because what kind of bullshit is that? But before he has time to open his mouth, the second student already beats him to it. "Why aren't you ever saying anything? You're not that special," They taunt, patronising, and Taemin doesn't understand what is happening. There is no time to feel embarrassed, because his Defenses Against The Dark Arts class starts in five minutes and he still has to take a quick trip to the restroom, and so it is only much later that he gets to really think about the incident and his stomach sinks just remembering their words. Because he knows full well that he hasn't spoken a whole lot in the few weeks he has been here. It's not a conscious decision, though. He has his talkative days - he does - but sometimes, it's hard. Sometimes, he doesn't utter a word for hours even when he is with a friend. Doesn't respond with much more than single syllable answers or wordless shrugs or vague hums because everything beyond that takes so much damn effort. Not because he doesn't care about the situation at hand or he is trying to be difficult or has no interest in whatever his conversation partners (or teachers) are saying. Back home in Japan, it hadn't been too odd, for people to be on the quiet side. Hell, he's had classmates he'd spent years going to school with but couldn't recognise the voices of for the life of him because they spoke that little. But in a country like England with such a vastly different culture, he had been sure he'd stick out like a sore thumb. Just like he used to a few years back, when his parents sent him to England for summer camp every time summer vacation at Mahoutokoro came along. Kibum doesn't seem to mind, though and he had hoped that everyone else wouldn't, either. He knew it would only be a matter of time until someone would come along who did and he wishes he could have said something. Witty comebacks aren't his forte, though.

"Are you okay?" Kibum asks him later, after they run into each other out in the courtyard and Kibum makes him tag along on his afternoon trip down to Hogsmeade, because 'you don't have anything better to do, do you?' "Yeah, fine," Taemin nods, a little confused, because should he not be? "Minho said that he heard from Eunsook that some kids gave you trouble after class," The older boy tells him, tugging off his cloak to throw it over his shoulder. It is one of the few rare, sunny days and the temperature is just right. Just enough to warm up their skin without making them sweat, even in their school uniform shirts. "I'm not gonna let people like that ruin my time here," Taemin shrugs. Sure, he wouldn't mind if it never happened again. But he isn't naive enough to believe that there won't be any more moments like this. And maybe he can't be brave and cocky, but he wants to learn to be less affected. "That's the spirit," Kibum nods in approval. "Seriously, though. If this keeps happening, let me know. I'm not just studying all these herbs for nothing," He makes sure to add and even if Taemin isn't planning to take Kibum up on the offer, he appreciates it.

///

"Japan?" The question is asked with genuine excitement - gleaming eyes and raised voice and all. "That's so cool, oh my God," Taemin responds to the boy's enthusiasm with a smile that's probably more confused than much else, because this kind of reaction is definitely a first. His name is Jonghyun and he is one of Kibum's closest friends. That's about as much of an introduction as Kibum had been able to provide before Jonghyun began gushing about Taemin's home country. He is wearing the house colours of Gryffindor and Taemin sees him sitting with Kibum all the time. He is hard to miss with his bright pink hair in a crowd of students with relatively natural hair colours. There is another Slytherin - a girl with long blue locks - and a few others who opted for fiery reds and darkish greens, but no one is pink like Jonghyun. Taemin thinks it's pretty. "What was it like?" Jonghyun asks, and it takes Taemin a moment to realise he is talking about Japan. "Umm," He falters. He isn't sure what the other boy wants to hear. "What sort of a question is that?" Kibum drawls, coming to his rescue without intending to. "What's England like?" He asks, a pointed edge of sarcasm to the question that makes Jonghyun pout. "Don't be mean," He whines, but he doesn't actually look upset. It makes Taemin's heart swell, because it's pretty darn adorable. He already likes Jonghyun, even if he doesn't know how to answer his question without making it sound bland and obvious. He opts for, "It wasn't too bad. Muggle education sucked, but once I started going to Mahoutokoro, it was nice," and he is kind of proud of his response. Jonghyun on the other hand doesn't seem very impressed, though. "No, I mean, what was the country like?" Jonghyun insists. "You know all the game arcades everywhere and the flashy buildings and everything?" "Uhh," Hesitating, Taemin tries to think of a more exciting adjective than 'nice' or 'cool' (because he has been surrounded by it all his life, it's honestly nothing too special to him), but his mind seems to have decided to take a time out, because all that comes up is blankness. "I think Taemin will have to tell you another time, he's still gotta walk all the way over to the Green houses," Kibum chimes in and Jonghyun nods in understanding. Although not without making sure to remind Taemin "You definitely have to tell me more, though, I have so many questions." "Your next class is Herbology, right?" Kibum turns to him, prompted by the lost look on his face, Taemin assumes, and he nods. "Are you gonna be okay?" "Yeah, I got it," Taemin says. He doesn't. But he isn't going to admit that he still struggles to find his way around not only when it comes to the Slytherin common room, but with the entire rest of the school, too. Because that's just tragic. It has almost been four weeks. Whether Kibum actually believes him or not, he isn't quite sure. His expression gives nothing away. But he doesn't drop any doubtful comments, at least. So he must have been semi-convincing if nothing else. "All right," Kibum lifts his hand in a wave "See you later then." "Just take the corridor over there to get into the East wing, not that one," Kibum pipes up when Taemin turns to walk off into what's apparently the wrong direction. "You don't wanna end up in the Transfiguration corridor," There is a hint of amusement in Kibum's smile as he grabs Jonghyun's bag along with the few books he'd been carrying and throws it over his shoulder. Taemin flushes. Kibum saw straight through him, didn't he?

"I really wanna go to Japan someday," He hears Jonghyun tell Kibum and when he turns around to catch a last glimpse of them, Jonghyun is sneaking his hand into the other boy's. "Once we're out of here, I'll take you," Kibum promises, suddenly all sweet and soft and Jonghyun beams. It's so cute, Taemin thinks he is going to melt.

///

Jonghyun and Kibum are a funny pair. Kibum spends half of his time being flirtatious to the point of it being almost ridiculous and the other half teasing the shorter boy. And Taemin wonders how Jonghyun isn't ever upset or annoyed or any of that. Because Taemin knows he would be. Thinks he would be, at least. He's never dealt well with mixed signals (never dealt well with signals, period, but that's a different conversation entirely). But then again, it's Kibum and Kibum has a lot of quirks that simply need some getting used to. And Taemin figures that with how long they have known each other (five years and two months, Kibum had told him with pride shining in his eyes) Jonghyun is very used to everything Kibum does. Especially once he starts paying more attention and notices all those little things between them. Always catches them with their hands intertwined, and watches as Kibum pulls Jonghyun into his lap or presses the occasional soft kiss into his hair. It makes Taemin wonder, but he doesn't ask. He figures it's just one of those things Kibum does. One thing to add to the mental note labeled "Kim Kibum" in the back of his mind. Fellow Slytherin, unashamed, oddly enthusiastic about Herbology and not afraid to be affectionate (and maybe more) with multiple people at once. Because it's Jonghyun who is with Kibum most often, but there are others, too. Some he's exchanged formal introductions with and some he's seen around, but hasn't been given a name to. (Not because they aren't as important as Jonghyun - far from it - but because Kibum is weary, as he later learns. Weary to invite him so deeply into his life so early on.) And Jonghyun knows. He definitely knows about them all and it does not seem to be an issue, but Taemin hasn't decided yet, what he thinks of it. He catches himself wondering a lot, though, if that's what Kibum wants with him, too. It's never more than a passing thought. Nothing he loses sleep over and nothing he feels the need to speak up about. But it comes up every once in a while. When Kibum sends him one too many winks, or pulls him in for a hug or reaches across their table at lunch break to fix his messy bangs for him. He hopes he doesn't, though. Kibum is nice and good-looking and Taemin does find himself staring sometimes, because he appreciates unique beauty and Kibum is the epitome of it, but he hopes Kibum isn't looking for more. If there is one thing he does know, however, it is that out of all the people Kibum is involved with, he likes Jonghyun best. No questions asked.

///

There aren't many places in the castle to be at night. Not officially, anyway, because students aren't supposed to leave the dormitories after eight. But even unofficially, Taemin hasn't found many good spots to seek a bit of solitude yet. At Mahoutokoro, Jongin and he spent hours upon hours at the pond for the baby Firekoi or up in the old Pagoda everyone avoided because of the rude pair of ghosts blocking the staircase past the third story. Just talking or watching the stars or sitting in silence while one of them dozed off. They never stayed for too long, because Taemin needs his eight hours of sleep, but it was always his favourite time of the day and he misses it. The world is so much more peaceful at night and people so much more quiet. Hushed whispers and soft hums and muted voices creating the most calming contrast to every day's noises. There is a spot a few corners from the Slytherin common room, though. Right by the painting of the lady in her blood-stained dress that has been his lifesaver more than once in the past weeks and spared him the embarrassment of having to ask for directions too often to count. A tower so narrow, the staircase doesn't fit more than one person at a time, but with an open platform on top. It was during what had to be his tenth time sneaking out the dormitory to find somewhere to retreat to that he first came across it. He had been so close to giving up and accepting that for as winding and large as Hogwarts was, he was going to have no luck finding what he was looking for. And he wasn't going to ask Kibum about it, either, because that would defeat the whole purpose of having a place for himself. Not once did he think to check where the door by the painting led to or whether it could be opened in the first place. But once he did, he was so happy he wanted to scream. It's exactly what he had been looking for this whole time - just the right amount of hidden and peaceful. Today, however, he is just in the middle of typing out a lengthy text to Jongin when he hears a soft sound like footsteps coming up the staircase. At first, he brushes it off as his mind playing tricks on him, because the castle is always filled with taps and creaks from every direction and he is hardly ever paying attention anymore. But then it happens a again, louder this time, and he tenses up when he realises someone is on their way up here. Eyes darting around, he tries to come up with the fastest escape route, but the only option he has is staying put (or jumping and hoping for a soft landing because it really doesn't look that high, but knowing his luck, he's going to flip mid-air and crack open his skull or some one in a million-bullshit like that so he won't risk it). Surrendering himself to his fate, Taemin waits in nervous anticipation. Anticipation that quickly morphs into surprise at the familiar head of pink hair appearing through the opening of the staircase. "Taemin?" "Umm…hey?" Taemin offers an awkward wave, relieved to see that Jonghyun seems just as confused about running into him up here as Taemin does. "I see you found my secret hiding spot," Jonghyun observes with a smile, hesitating for just a moment before he sinks down next to him and shifts a bit to get comfortable with his back against the stone wall. "Oh, sorry," Taemin runs his hand through his hair - a nervous habit. "What are you apologising for?" Jonghyun blinks, his voice soft and gentle and Taemin feels a squeal building in his chest. He gathers all his willpower to keep a calm and collected front, though, because he definitely can't allow himself to be weird. That's just embarrassing and he isn't planning to drop out of school because he acted all creepy like that. "I wasn't meaning to disturb," He explains, forcing the words out with much difficulty. "Oh, don't even worry about it," Jonghyun assures. "It's nice to have some company up here from time to time." "Do you mind?" Jonghyun holds up a book Taemin hasn't noticed before and Taemin can't quite keep up at first. He wonders for a moment if the older boy is trying to ask him to grab it for a second, but he quickly realises that that's not it. Taemin shakes his head 'no' and Jonghyun offers him another blinding smile before he thumbs through the pages until he reaches a piece of parchment acting as a bookmark of sorts.

Jonghyun wasn't kidding when he referred to the tower as his hiding spot, Taemin finds. He returns every other day - when the daily school life becomes overwhelming all over again or when he simply needs a bit of silence to answer his text messages - and like clockwork, Jonghyun joins him at the exact same time. Always with a book, always with a few questions about his day, and sometimes with a bar of white chocolate or two. What he is hiding from, Taemin has no idea, though. They don't talk much at first. Despite the older boy's request to hear more about Japan, he only ever asks a few simple questions about Taemin's day before he flips open his book and disappears into his own world for the evening. It is a little disappointing, Taemin thinks, because watching Jonghyun interact with Kibum, the older boy is so talkative and bubbly, he didn't expect all this silence from him. But then again, he isn't much different himself, so perhaps it simply isn't the best combination. Except it's really nice once Taemin gets over the initial fear of Jonghyun not liking him. Because if he didn't, Taemin figures he wouldn't sit close enough to him for their shoulders to be touching, or make sure to grant him at least a few minutes of genuine attention whenever he first claims his spot next to him. And so it doesn't take long, for him to spend whole days looking forward to his evenings with Jonghyun.

///

"I'm a Muggleborn, that's the only reason shit like this happens," Jonghyun looks like he is ready to cry. Taemin's bed dips as the older boy sinks down onto it with a shaky sigh, his eyes glued to his bloodied arm as if he is scared the damage will spread further if he will avert his gaze for even just a moment. "Stop that," Comes Kibum's voice from the other side of the room, filled with disapproval. "That's no reason to treat you this way and you know it," He says, and Taemin watches him hapazardly tossing boxes of all shapes and sizes onto his bed in search for god knows what. "But-" "There is no but," Kibum cuts him off, guiding his wand through the air with a cutting motion to close the curtains of their beds when two of their fellow Slytherins step into the dormitory. "You don't deserve it, period." He doesn't sound angry, but his shoulders are tense and his hands are trembling as he lays out an array of bandages and creams to treat the older boy's injury with and it isn't hard to tell how affected he is by the situation. "I wanna help," Taemin finally dares to speak up, just barely resisting the urge to cringe at the sound of his own voice, slicing through the tension-filled silence between them like a knife. Surely, there must be something he can do other than sit around and watch, though. Even if all he'll do is wipe off the blood on Jonghyun's skin to make it easier for Kibum to see what he is working with. "No, you're just gonna make it worse," Kibum says - uncharacteristically sharp - and Taemin feels like he has punched him straight in the gut. It is coming from a place of agitation more than anything. Taemin can tell. But it hurts, still. The older boy realises his mistake as soon as he notices his crestfallen expression, eyes growing wide and panicked. "Fuck, I'm so sorry Taemin. I didn't mean it like that," Kibum quickly scrambles to apologise. "Don't worry about it," Taemin makes sure to smile as he says it, but it feels far from genuine. He is glad Kibum doesn't comment on it, though. "You can hold these for me," The older boy offers instead, grabbing a bottle of thick blue liquid and a small tin box for him to take. "I'll need the bottle first. Just unstop it and put a couple drops onto one of the cloths over there," He instructs, gesturing to his nightstand and Taemin obeys without any more prompting. Jonghyun's arm is bandaged up in no time, the wound having looked far less severe after all the blood was gone, but Taemin can't understand why anyone would do this, regardless. From what he gathered, it happens all the time. Never like this, with visible marks to prove what words can't. But just the fact that anyone would touch Jonghyun at all, regardless of whether it it physical or verbal, makes Taemin's stomach churn.

Taemin is surprised when Kibum sneaks into his bed a few hours later; just as Taemin has slipped into his pajamas and stacked his pillows on top of each other. He is just there all of a sudden, his presence making the younger boy's heart skip a few beats because where the hell did he even come from? It's seriously starting to worry him, how much worse his tendency to space out has been getting, because there is no way Kibum is always creeping up on him on purpose. And yet he finds himself startled by him so often, it can't be healthy for his poor heart. The last time the older boy had actually slept in his own bed instead of wherever he goes on any other day must have been at least two weeks ago and Taemin knows he is gaping at him like he has seen a ghost. Don't get him wrong, he is happy to be graced by such rare night time company. But he had been sure that Kibum wouldn't leave Jonghyun out of sight for the entire rest of the day. If Kibum notices any of it - his surprise or his wide eyes or the hint of accusation in Taemin's voice as he blurts out 'What are you doing here?' - he doesn't mention it, though. "This happens to be my bed," Kibum responds simply - characteristic drawl perfectly in place - and then "Jonghyun says good night." And the smile on his face is fond, but there is an edge of sadness to it that is painful to look at. Jonghyun hadn't said more than a few words after Kibum and he had taken care of him and Taemin had been so worried, he spent the past hour doing nothing but stare at the ceiling. So he is relieved to hear that the older boy seemed to have spoken to Kibum, at least. Even if it wasn't much. "Hey Taemin," Turning to face him with his head propped up on his hand, Kibum looks conflicted for a moment before he says "I'm really sorry about earlier." "Don't worry about it," Taemin shrugs, "I know you didn't mean it like that." Kibum can be a bit prickly sometimes. Even just knowing him for those past couple of months, Taemin has noticed that anxiety and stress don't do him much good. But his irritation has never been directed towards him before and it really hit him hard, to hear Kibum speak to him like that. He can't find it in himself to be upset, though. "I still shouldn't have said that," Kibum tells him in a muffled voice, sinking back into his pillows and covering his eyes with one of his arms as he explains, "I'm just super on edge whenever things like this happen cause I feel like I should have been there to protect him, you know? Cause people never dare to do anything when Minho and I are with him." "You realise that that's the real issue, though, right? He shouldn't need any protection just going about his school day to begin with," Taemin argues. He knows it's a century old issue and there isn't much they can do about it. But it isn't right for Kibum to blame himself for it either. "I know," Kibum lets out a heavy sigh. "I just hate that there is nothing more I can do to keep him safe," He says, and frankly, Taemin has no idea how to respond to that. Because he can only imagine how hard it is for Kibum (hell, it's hard for him and he hasn't even known Jonghyun for very long) and the last thing he wants is to invalidate that. Kibum doesn't actually seem to expect him to respond, however. "Do you mind if I sleep in your bed tonight?" He asks instead, after a long moment of silence. "Ohh, umm, I-," Taemin feels heat rise into his cheeks as he fumbles for the right words. "No, not at all." He is already scooting closer to the edge, making room for the older boy to settle down next to him, but a sudden thought makes him pause. "With me in it, or…?" He asks, and Kibum look dumbfounded for a second before he starts laughing, only remembering halfway through to muffle the sound because most of their fellow Slytherins are already sleeping around them. "Of course with you in it, silly. What kind of a question is that?" "I'm just making sure," Taemin pouts, but he can't help the smile that's taking over his face once Kibum is lying right there next to him. There is a safe distance between them even as they both turn to face each other, Taemin with his cheek squished against his green pillow and Kibum curled up onto his side with his arms hugging his legs. They talk about the most trivial things - with lazy silences sprinkled in left and right - and any touches they exchange are fleeting and unintentional at most, and yet Taemin swears he has never felt as close to the older boy as he does right then. And never so comfortable, either. "Are you falling asleep?" Kibum's voice reaches him through a haze, the palm that comes to rest against his cheek so warm, Taemin instinctively leans into it. He doesn't like it sometimes, when Kibum touches him. He has yet to figure out why, because it's no different from whatever hugs and casual arms-around-shoulders he exchanged with Jongin on a daily basis, but it still makes his skin crawl on some days. But he has no idea what to tell Kibum or how to explain himself and so he just doesn't. Simply brushes it off as a strange mood and holds onto days like today, because today, it's exactly what he needs and it's so nice. "You're struggling to keep your eyes open, aren't you?" Kibum asks teasingly, and now that he is mentioning it, Taemin notices for the first time, just how hard he had been fighting to stay awake. Letting out a hum of agreement, Taemin allows himself to close his eyes, the soft sensation of Kibum's thumb stroking along his cheek the last thing he feels before sleep has taken over his consciousness.

"Hurry up, I'm starving," Is the first thing Kibum tells him as they get up in the morning. They somehow managed to miss breakfast (because it's a Saturday and Kibum had stopped trying to make him get up after receiving no more than a whine of protest in response for the third time in a row) and Taemin's tummy is begging for food, but he just can't be bothered to move any faster right now. It makes Kibum grumble unhappily, but at some point he simply takes it upon himself to speed up the process, tugging Taemin close to pull a fresh shirt over his head and smooth down his messy hair and oh well, that's something Taemin can work with. "We really need to get that goddamn draft fixed, it's fucking freezing in here," The older boy complains as they throw on their cloaks and finally get going and it's such a Kibum-thing to say, Taemin is still laughing when they have walked halfway through the school building. Sure, it really is freezing, but if he is honest, Taemin finds it actually isn't too bad if there is someone else in his bed to keep him warm. But he chooses not to tell Kibum that.

///

"I didn't think you'd get so passionate about Quidditch." "Well, we don't really play Quidditch in Japan," Taemin feels heat rise into his cheeks at the playful nudge to his shoulder. He didn't realise how into the game he had gotten, shouting and grabbing at whoever happened to be sitting next to him (Jonghyun to his right and Kibum to his left, fortunately) and all. But Kibum seems amused at worst. "And it's been a really exciting game, don't you think?" Taemin asks as they ascend one of the many staircases leading back to the Slytherin common room, because he couldn't have been the only one to think so. He has watched his fair share of Quidditch games on TV and a handful of live ones, too, but today's game is definitely far up there in terms of entertainment and suspense. "It was," Kibum nods, good-natured. Taemin is glad he agrees. "Minho is amazing, how he just took the chance to jump off his broomstick to catch the Snitch and it actually worked," Taemin knows he is gushing. He is still all flustered, adrenaline rushing through his veins, and it's hard to shut up when everything is so fresh in his mind. Maybe he will feel stupid about it later. Once he calms down and has time to really think about how weird he is being. But right now he doesn't care. "Yeah, he's ridiculous like that," Kibum shrugs, but there is a fondness in his expression that's impossible to miss. "He's amazing," Taemin insists and Kibum's smile only broadens at his words. "You're cute," He says, blunt as usual. And it is nothing out of the ordinary, but the words make Taemin falter, still. "I guess." Taemin doesn't mind being called cute. As long as people take him seriously regardless and don't belittle him, because in their eyes, cute is all he is, he doesn't mind at all. There is something about everything Kibum does - every little touch and every smile and most of all, the way he has just recently started slipping the endearment of 'babe' into their conversation - that is so full of natural affection that it makes Taemin feel incredibly uncomfortable, though. At least sometimes. That's his sole reassurance. That it is only sometimes. Just like it is only sometimes, that the older boy's touches make him all tense inside. Because on most days, he doesn't mind as much. Enjoys it a tiny bit, even. Which is good, because this, too, he doesn't yet know what to do about. Has no idea how to find words for what he feels without sounding like a terrible person and ruining whatever kind of friendship is building between them. "No, you definitely are," Kibum insists, cutting off his train off thought and successfully pulling him back into the present. "Really cute." And Taemin smiles, because he might not be happy about it always, but today he absolutely doesn't mind.

///

It is just Minho and him in the library that day after dinner. Kibum and Jonghyun had left early to do God knows what (homework, according to Kibum, but from the look Jonghyun had given him, Taemin doubts they'd be getting anything done today even if they wanted to). Taemin had mentioned his search for a book about his five thousand word Defense Against the Dark Arts essay that is due in a week and Minho decided to keep him company because he finally has a free evening for once. He choose the topic of the Black Lake and its creatures, realising too late that so little sources existed about it, he would probably have to jump in there himself and gather information firsthand to reach his word count, so a lot of filler words will be needed. Minho and he haven't spoken a lot before, because the older boy is always up and about - attending Quidditch practice, performing prefect duties, tutoring first and second years, you name it - and it's awkward. At least, Taemin thinks it is. Minho on the other hand hardly seems bothered. He asks a few questions that are easy enough for Taemin to respond to and nods encouragingly whenever he struggles to find the words he is looking for (because Minho isn't quite like Kibum who is content talking and stops asking questions once he realises it's one of those days again, where it's just hard for Taemin to talk, so he actually has to go along with it and make the effort to use his vocal cords). But it isn't too bad. Minho seems to have an infinite amount of patience and Taemin is grateful for that. Apparently that's a thing Kibum and Minho have in common, even though Kibum's patience is a lot more subtle than Minho's. "You did really well out there at the Quidditch game," Taemin says, once the silence stretches out for too long and he feels like Minho is hoping for him to speak up. "Thanks," Minho beams at him, his eyes lighting up with excitement. "I had to do my absolute best 'cause Jonghyunnie came to watch," He chuckles, explaining "He hates Quidditch," when Taemin pulls up one of his eyebrows in question. "Especially since that one time in third grade where I broke five ribs after being hit by a Bludger." "So it's always an honour to have him there," Minho nods to himself, and it is such a formal thing to say, but the older boy seems to mean every word, if his bright smile is anything to go by. "We never had anything like Quidditch in Japan. A team play kind of thing," Taemin muses, recalling all the times he has returned from England after vacations wishing that Quidditch was as big of a thing in his home country as it is over here. "Nothing at all?" Minho asks, his eyes growing comically wide at the words. "Yeah," Taemin confirms, adding "Not at Mahoutokoro, at least." "But we do have Dragon lantern shows, if that counts," He says, remembering the many hours he had spent perfecting his spells to create the most intricate lantern to present for judgment. It wasn't about winning. Not to him anyway. Instead it was more than enough to be a part of the spectacle, watching his own lantern along with countless others glide across the sky in a dance never before practiced, but coming to them entirely by instinct. It's always been his favourite time of the whole school year. "Those are mostly an artistic thing, though," He quickly continues talking, because he is starting to feel nostalgic and he can't have that right now. "Ohh, and Koifish races." "Not Firekoi, though. Riding them would sear your skin off. Just the regular kind, you know?" He shrugs, figuring that Minho probably doesn't need him to explain the difference. Everyone knows why Firekoi are just about the very last creature you'd want to sit on the back of. Even the babies can cause the most horrible burns. "I literally have no idea what you are talking about, but it sounds cool," Minho admits, and when Taemin turns a little to glance up at him, his expression is one of utter confusion. It would be cute if it didn't look so funny. Minho has really huge eyes, he realises. But that doesn't take away from his handsomeness in the slightest. If anything, it only adds that special something to his appearance that catches your gaze and makes it linger. "I can show you pictures sometime," He offers and the huge smile Minho shoots him in response is totally worth it.

///

He grows closer to all of them over the course of the next two months. Minho teaches him Wizard chess and in turn, Taemin shows him how to play Shogi and whenever Minho has some rare chunks of free time, they spent their whole afternoons playing one round after the next. Kibum becomes his study buddy, because he is phenomenal at making him feel guilty for finding distractions in every ghost floating past them and every tiny movement in a painting catching his eye (it's not his fault Kibum always chooses the rooms with the most art on the walls for their study sessions), and it is effective if nothing else. As much as Kibum shakes his head at him, however, he is always there to remind him that he is doing so well whenever Taemin needs it most and doesn't ever hesitate to help him figure out just why his potions turn out wrong sometimes although he has never had an issue with getting them done just fine before. And at the end of the day, Taemin is more than happy to lift his duvet for Kibum to sneak under and lace the older boy's fingers with his. And Jonghyun, most of Jonghyun's and his time together is spend in silence, still, but every once in a while, the older boy will look at him with the softest of smiles and tell him about his favourite books (Taemin learns that there are a whole lot of those) and nap with his head in Taemin's lap and those are his favourite days. They are few and far in between, but he likes them a whole lot.

///

The first time Jonghyun asks to kiss him, Taemin stares at him for what feels like a solid five minutes. Jonghyun had been sniffling as he told him about the fight he's had with Minho earlier in the day. It had been nothing too explicit, because Minho is Taemin's friend, too and it wouldn't feel right to hear about all the tiniest details, but it was more than enough for the younger boy to hold him and assure him that Minho loves him a lot and all they need to do is to talk it out. "I guess you're right," Jonghyun had mumbled, his voice muffled against Taemin's chest as his breathing slowed back down to a less frantic pattern and the tension in his limbs eased up. "Of course. I'm always right," Taemin had joked, his hand coming up to run through Jonghyun's hair in an affectionate manner. And Taemin had physically felt the shift in the air around the older boy at the gentle contact, but he didn't think it would lead to this. Didn't think Jonghyun would wiggle out of their hug to look at him and ask him the kind of question that send his mind reeling with confusion. "Sorry," Jonghyun deflates at his lack of a a response, the distance between them growing as he moves to settle down next to Taemin instead. "I know I get clingy when I'm sad. You can just push me away, it's..." There is a pause as Jonghyun gazes at the ground, a far-away look in his eyes before he shakes his head as if to dismiss his own train of thought. "Never mind." And Taemin wants to tell him that it's fine. That he doesn't mind kissing (not today, at least) and as long as that's all they are going to do and Jonghyun won't try to shove his tongue into his mouth, he can go right ahead, but it feels like he has missed his chance and it would be weird to say anything now. But he sneaks his arm around the older boy's shoulder, still, because he needs him to know that they are okay, at least.

"Jonghyun," Taemin calls out the older boy's name as they climb the last flight of stairs to the Gryffindor common room later that same evening. His palms are clammy and his thoughts are racing and he knows he will regret not speaking up. He just knows. There is a look of confusion taking over Jonghyun's face as he turns around to find Taemin trailing behind, but it quickly transforms into something much softer when Taemin blurts out "You can kiss me." "I mean, if you still want to," He backpedals, because he doesn't want to sound more eager than he is. He has known ever since he shared his first kiss with someone that it wasn't ever going to become his favourite thing to do - wasn't going to even make it anywhere near the upper half of the list, really - but if Jonghyun is sad and he is able to help, he is more than okay with doing this. "I just..." Furrowing his eyebrows, Taemin tries but fails to find the words to explain how he feels, a long pause making silence stretch out between them. "I don't always-" He takes a deep breath, encouraged by the way Jonghyun nods at him as if to say 'Hey, it's all right, take your time.' "I haven't really told anyone about this before 'cause I don't understand it very well myself but I don't want to be kissed always, and I don't want to always be touched, either," He confesses, feeling relieved when he realises that he isn't stumbling over his words like he feared he would. "Okay, I get that," Jonghyun says - missing no more than a beat or two - and Taemin is taken aback at the easy acceptance. But even more so when the older boy tells him, "It's the same for me, actually. But only with sex." "Ohh, really?" Eyes widening, Taemin musters the older boy in disbelief, because he didn't expect that. Not at all. "Yeah," Jonghyun nods, and as he tells him how it's fine on most days - something he has no issue initiating, even, because he wants it very much - but every now and then, he can't stand to touch or be touched, Taemin feels like he has finally found someone who understands. Who has already discovered the words for something he still struggles to put a name to. They talk some more after that, about tomorrow's lessons and meeting up with Kibum and Minho in the afternoon to practice their spells at the Black Lake and Jonghyun does kiss him in the end. Quick and chaste and just right. Just enough for Taemin to feel entirely comfortable about it. "Thank you," Jonghyun whispers, and then, "Good night," and his smile is bashful as he looks at him. Taemin thinks it's adorable. He keeps standing outside the Gryffindor common room until the painting of the fat lady has shifted back into place, paying no mind to her moaning about hormonal teenagers.

///

"How are things with Kibum?" Jongin has called this time. At such an ungodly hour in the morning, Taemin has had a few curses thrown at him as he snuck out the dormitory and down into the common room to keep their conversation from being disturbed. It's been a difficult week for the younger boy and although Taemin knows he is terrible at listening, it's what his best friend needs. So for the past twenty minutes, he has tried to stop his mind from wandering (and failed) so many times, he can feel a headache coming on. But he had pulled through somehow and he is proud to say that he hasn't missed any of the essential parts of Jongin's story, either. "Oh, everything's good, yeah," Taemin responds, not quite prepared for the conversation to suddenly move on to him. "You didn't ask, did you?" Jongin drawls, exasperated. "I'm gonna do it today, gimme a break," There is an edge of stubbornness to his voice, because he just didn't have the chance to bring it up yet, but he's totally going to do it. "You better," Jongin scolds. Taemin can't believe he is letting someone younger than him boss him around like this.

His chance comes a lot earlier than he would have liked, and Taemin finds himself fidgeting with nerves when he meets Kibum in the Great Hall for lunch a few hours later. It's stupid, because Kibum isn't the kind of person to get mad easily or jump to hasty conclusions without listening to the full story. But Taemin is worried, still. Kibum is already there, surrounded by enough food to feed another two people beside himself, but staring off into space without eating any of it. "Hey," Taemin greets, sinking down opposite of the older boy and Kibum's eyes snap up to look at him before he nods in acknowledgement and nudges a bowl with what seems to be the last two chicken wings on the whole table towards him. "I fought a first year to get you these," Kibum says, deadpan. "You what?" Taemin's looks at him in shock, frozen in his seat. "I'm just kidding," Kibum laughs, assuring "I would never," but Taemin isn't sure if he believes him. This is the same person who has spiked a bunch of guys' drinks with some kind of undetectable poison after they waited for Jonghyun outside of class to throw a bunch of nasty sneers at him. They hadn't been able to attend class for days because of the burning blisters all over their bodies. Taemin is glad Kibum likes him. Because at least he won't have to worry about waking up with face deformities or green skin or whatever else those herbs of his can do. "Jonghyunnie will be a bit late," Kibum announces as he begins piling more fruit onto his already overloaded plate. "Someone in his class accidentally set loose a Demiguise in Care of Magical Creatures and it got away." Taemin pulls up one of his eyebrows in silent question and Kibum nods, laughing. "Yeah, I thought the same thing. Jjong's had nothing to do with it, though," He assures, but Taemin can't say he is convinced. He sure as hell wouldn't blame Jonghyun even if he did help the poor creature escape, anyway. Since the last Gamekeeper of Hogwarts left to pursue a life of solace somewhere deep in the Highlands, no one has had the proper skill to treat them right and even with the little experience Taemin has with Magical creatures, he could tell what a miserable state a lot of them are in. "Minho?" Taemin asks, and Kibum shrugs. "No idea." "I saved some mashed potatoes for him, though, just in case he decides to show up," Kibum gestures to one of the small plates between them, visibly proud of himself. It's really endearing. So much so that Taemin almost forgets what it was he had been so anxious about. It hits him again soon enough, however, when he observes Kibum for a second too long and Jongin's question from this morning forces its way back to the forefront of his mind. "What's with the funny face?" "You look like you're in pain or something," Kibum reaches for one of the few bowls of strawberries left on the table, ignoring the displeased looks he receives from the group of girls sitting next to them. He offers it to Taemin and he takes out three of the biggest ones he finds, placing them on his plate along with the rest of his untouched food. "Are you okay?" The older boy asks, mustering him oddly, "I've got some pastilles in my bag if you're feeling sick." "Oh no, I'm fine," Taemin blurts a bit too quickly, the pitch of his voice much too high to be read as casual. Way to go Taemin, he thinks. Way to be super weird and suspicious about this. Shrugging, as if to say 'Suit yourself', Kibum turns back to his lunch and Taemin mentally curses himself because this would have been his chance. Now he has to bring it up himself, instead of latching on to the older boy's prompting and that's so much more difficult than admitting that no, he wasn't actually okay and he has a million questions ghosting through his head right now he feels stupid wondering about in the first place. "Kibum," Taemin begins, slow and hesitant, pushing the word past his lips like he is only just learning to speak and every syllable puts an unbearable strain on his voice. "Huh?" Kibum refuses to abandon his task of plucking the leaves off his strawberries, his gaze focused in a way that is so typical for the older boy. It's pretty admirable, Taemin thinks, how Kibum is able to muster such concentration for the most simple tasks when Taemin struggles to pay attention even when it comes to those. That's probably why Kibum's grades are so much better than his. And why studying comes a lot easier to him. But that's not what he wanted to ask Kibum about. Has absolutely nothing to do with it, actually, so he quickly brushes off the thought. "Some of the others told me to stop hanging out with you," He hadn't planned to bring this up. It was nothing but stupid gossip and he wasn't going to listen to any of it. Just like he hadn't listened all those times before, when they tried telling him that Kibum is gay (he's not, and dammit, why does it even matter?) or that he dates everyone and their mother (he doesn't) or that he just wants to get into his pants (also false). He enjoys Kibum's company too much to fuck it all up by letting all of that unsolicited advice get to him. But even so, he had failed to ban this particular accusation from his mind. Because as wild as his fellow students imagination seems to be, it kind of makes sense. And confronting his friend about it doesn't sound like such a terrible idea anymore. By far not as terrible of an idea as keeping silent does. At least they can have a good laugh about it, then. And he won't have to rely on fancy theories in an attempt to fill in the many gaps in the logic himself. "They said you're…" He hesitates, still, unsure how to make his next words sound as inoffensive as possible. "I'm what?" Kibum doesn't look fazed in the slightest. Just a little impatient, maybe. "A werewolf," Taemin half-whispers, more dramatic than necessary. There it is. He said it. And it does make sense. If he ignores just how absurd putting it out there in the open like this really makes it sound, he can even think of a few arguments to prove a point. Kibum is hardly ever sleeping in his bed at night like any ordinary wizard should, after all (although he knows the older boy is usually with Jonghyun, but that might as well be an excuse, because it isn't exactly easy to sneak into a dormitory that isn't your own). And Taemin has often wondered why Kibum's robes are always littered with hair (animal hair, for sure) when his wizard pet is an owl. Just about the least hairy creature beside a toad, maybe. Granted, it's not much and there could be a million explanations that don't include the word 'werewolf' at all, but Taemin would sure love to hear those. Kibum pulls up one of his eyebrows in response, anything but impressed, before a heavy sigh makes its way past his lips. "I wish people would get their facts right for once, seriously." "So you are?" Taemin's eyes grow wide, something like awe in his voice, "A werewolf, I mean?" Pushing another strawberry past his lips, Kibum pauses in contemplation for a moment before he reveals "I'm a shapeshifter." Oh, Taemin thinks. Maybe that kind of makes sense, too? "Like an Animagus?" Taemin wonders, still struggling to connect the dots. "Kinda, yeah," The older boy nods. "I didn't have to learn to do it, though. That's the difference. I always could." "Runs in the family," He adds. "But I honestly have no idea where the whole werewolf bullshit came from," Giving a small shrug, he clarifies, "My animal form is a cat," and Taemin barely manages to keep himself from cooing, because he loves cats. "Oh wow, that's actually really cool," Taemin tells him, enthusiasm mounting as he tries to imagine the boy in front of him turning from his tall wizard self into a fluffy cat. It isn't what he expected, but he likes the thought. It's a whole lot cooler than turning into a werewolf, for sure. "Yeah, I know" Kibum says, a slight smile gracing his features, "Of course it is."

But in the following months, Taemin finds himself wondering more often than not, if Kibum really does know. Because even after making it an entire year into their friendship - even after sharing the kind of heavy and the not so heavy stuff one wouldn't usually start a conversation with - Taemin has yet to see Kibum take his animal form. And it's weird. They easily grow close to one another. Much more easily than Taemin ever remembers growing close to someone before, because Kibum is just that comfortable to be around. But it's for that reason exactly, that he wonders why it's this part of Kibum's identity that he hasn't been granted a closer look at, still. Why Kibum has kept it hidden and locked away and hardly ever even mentions it to him. And why it took months of knowing each other - months of near heart attacks whenever Kibum popped up behind him in the most unlikely places, soundless, because that's what cats do - for him to learn about it in the first place. Taemin tries not to think too much - tries not to fall victim to his own gloomy thoughts - but on some days, it's hard to stop overthinking and he feels sad then. Wonders whether he should bring it up or whether it's safer to play along and hope Kibum will trust him enough to be more open with it some day. Because Taemin really does think it's the coolest thing and he wishes his friend would feel less self-conscious about it.

///

The castle is peaceful like Taemin has never seen it before, a pleasant quiet following him everywhere he goes. Most of his fellow students are with their families, spending their Easter holidays at home and it's both a strange but not entirely unwelcome change to the busy bustle he is used to. Steps coming to a brief halt in front of the entrance to the Slytherin house, he waits for the wall to open after offering the password before he slips inside the common room. It's late in the afternoon, so the few students still at school are probably hanging out down in Hogsmeade or in the library, just like he intended to as well. But when he went to search for Kibum to make the older boy tag along for a Butterbeer and some snacks, he was nowhere to be found. And neither were Minho and Jonghyun. So after taking a quick detour to snatch a couple of biscuits from one of the tables in the Great Hall, he decided to return to the Slytherin dormitory. The common room is just as deserted as the rest of the school grounds, two girls from a class below him the only ones lounging on a sofa in the corner with a bunch of notes strewn around them. The taller of the two is fast asleep, Taemin notices at second glance, and when he meets the eyes of the shorter one - Taeyeon, he remembers now - she offers a nod and a small smile. Nodding back, he awkwardly lingers in the archway for a moment before deciding that the gray weather is just about the most exciting conversation topic he can come up with right now and he wants to spare her the forced small talk. So he makes a soundless retreat and closes the door of the staircase behind him for good measures. Letting out an internal cheer when he slips into the boy's dormitory to find it empty as well, he already starts planning the perfect afternoon of pajamas, a good nap, some Yaoi manga and a bit of fondling between his legs, when he catches something odd from the corner of his eye. Something he is certain wasn't there when he left a few hours earlier. Stopping dead in his tracks, Taemin furrows his eyebrows at what he now recognises to be a bundle of fur lying atop his duvet. It could easily be mistaken for one of the other students' pets, cats being far from an unusual sight on the school's grounds (and even less of an unusual sight in their dormitories, filled with comfy sleeping spots from top to bottom). But bright green fur isn't exactly a common colour even for a wizard's cat. And as if that alone isn't already enough for Taemin to grow suspicious, the fact that it's the exact same dirty shade of green Kibum had dyed his hair in just a few weeks ago definitely is. Taemin can't say he has much of an idea about how this kind of shapeshifting works, but he doesn't need to to be able to connect the dots. Approaching his bed with the softest and slowest steps he can muster, Taemin finds himself hesitating, uncertainty rising high. If Kibum as a cat is anything like Kibum as a human, he won't appreciate having his sleep disturbed, Taemin muses, and he can think of plenty things nicer than having claw marks all over his face right now. He is so focused on keeping quiet, however, he doesn't actually look where he is going, the cauldron he so carelessly left on the ground standing right in his path. Jumping in shock when a sudden clatter rips him from his thoughts, his eyes dart around for the source of the noise and he curses himself not for the first time, for always leaving his shit lying around. Nine times out of ten, there isn't no point in bothering to pick up after himself, but sometimes, days like this one come along and he finds himself wishing he wasn't such a mess. Chancing a careful glance towards his bed, where Kibum had been dozing away just a few moments prior, Taemin isn't surprised to find his friend alert and on his feet. Kibum's features are a lot less expressive as a cat but his feline eyes are wide and his back is arched and Taemin doesn't need anyone to spell it out to him, to figure that the older boy is just as startled as he is. Stepping closer to the edge of his bed, Taemin offers a sheepish smile and a small wave. He feels kind of stupid. And Kibum probably does, too, because his paws are rooted to the spot as he stares at him, unblinking. His friend manages to shake himself out of his stupor quicker than Taemin, however, already preparing to jump off the bed and make a speedy retreat to god-knows where and Taemin panics. "No, it's fine, you can stay. I don't mind," He interrupts with maybe a little too much urgency in his voice, if the skeptic glance from Kibum is anything to go by. But he is finally getting to see Kibum as a cat and the last thing he wants is for the older boy to feel like he can't be himself around him. Wizard-shape or not. "But make some space for me," He adds as an afterthought, flapping down face first the second Kibum has scooted over, uncaring of the drawn out mewl of protest Kibum lets out.

When Taemin wakes up two hours later - from a nap that was not at all planned - Kibum is sitting next to him in his full wizard glory, skimming through the pages of what Taemin vaguely recognises to be one of the Manga (not a Yaoi one, fortunately, although it doesn't really make a difference) from the stash he had brought with him. As if the past few hours had been nothing but a strange dream. But Kibum is in his bed and there is cat hair all over his pillows and his imagination might run a little wild sometimes, but never like this. Before his sleepy thoughts have the chance to carry him further into the abyss of racing thoughts, Kibum is already turning to look at him, though. "You read some weird shit," The older boy observes, unimpressed. "Is this what Muggles in Japan are into?" He asks and Taemin groans, his eyes squeezed shut as he stretches his arms above his head. He is surprised his brain even manages to make sense of the older boy's question through the heavy fog clouding his thoughts. "It's what everyone in Japan is into," Taemin tells him, his voice still thick with sleep. It's a Shonen manga after all. Who doesn't love those? "Even this part?" Kibum insists, shoving an opened page under his nose that shows the female lead in a poor excuse of a bikini, the fabric stretching tight over her massive boobs. Taemin snorts. "Oh yeah, especially this part," He confirms, his initial amusement transforming into full blown laughter at the scandalised look taking over his friend's features. He should definitely take Kibum to Japan some time. It would be hilarious to watch him lose his mind over all the quirks and peculiarities of his home country. "This whole shapeshifter thing is really cool, you know," Taemin remarks, the need itching in his bones, to somehow communicate to Kibum just how much he appreciates to have seen him in his animal form. If only to give his friend whatever assurance he needs. Because with the way Kibum is side-eying him, still, it isn't hard to figure out that insecurity is weighing him down once again. Even if Taemin has yet to understand where it is coming from in the first place. "Not the most useful ability, maybe, but really cool." "You make a cute kitty," He winks, another fit of laughter bubbling up inside of his chest when Kibum shoots him a sharp glare. "Shut up."

///

It doesn't take long, until the whole thing becomes something like a routine for them. The seventh year's tests and assignments are a heavy burden on Kibum's shoulders and even though it has only been a month since the end of summer vacation it already shows. In his constant tiredness, especially, but in a lot else, too. He is much less communicative, for one, talking so little on some days, it sends Taemin's worry soaring. And he's irritated, too. Never with him or Jonghyun, but with Minho sometimes - and just about everyone else. It would be funny, watching their fellow Slytherins duking their heads or straight out bolting at Kibum's sight if the older boy wasn't struggling so much. The only thing that seems to help make the situation bearable is shifting. At least, Taemin assumes it does, because if Kibum isn't studying, he is curled up in Taemin's lap or on his bed, every spare second spent as a cat now that Taemin finally got to see him like this for the first time. Taemin figures there must be something calming about it. Or maybe it just makes life a bit simpler, to be small and cuddly and not have to worry about responsibilities for a bit. Either way, Taemin is glad Kibum wants him to be there. He isn't as naturally comforting of a presence as Jonghyun and he isn't as caring and kind as Minho, but he can be here. If that's what Kibum needs, he can be by his side for however long. At first, Taemin keeps his hands to himself. It's purely without thinking that they twitch into Kibum's direction sometimes, itching to pet his head or stroke along the length of his feline form like he would with any other pet he comes across on the school grounds, but it feels too intrusive in a way. Like overstepping a line not meant to be crossed. Because Kibum hadn't intended for Taemin to see him like this to begin with. And even though Taemin still isn't sure why, the awareness alone is enough to stop him from giving in to his instincts. It isn't a new or unusual thing, for his mind and body to fail at working in tandem, however, and so it is only a matter of time until he buries one of his hands into Kibum's fur entirely on instinct. His friend's response is immediate, his tail freezing mid-sway and Taemin recoils like he has been burned. He feels terrible the moment he realises how unnecessarily vigorous of a reaction he's had, but rather than being offended, Kibum seems concerned above everything else. Musters him as if he isn't sure what to make of his rejection and paws at his arm until Taemin stops avoiding his gaze. It isn't always easy to read Kibum even in his usual wizard form, though, and it's more difficult still, to try and figure out what he wants to tell him when he has no words to get his point across. So when he dives down to nudge Taemin's leg with his head now, the younger boy can only guess what the meaning of it is supposed to be. "Do you want me to keep going?" Taemin asks, cautious and more than ready to backtrack in case he misunderstood, because the last thing he wants is to do something Kibum isn't comfortable with. But Kibum butts his head against his leg a second time in what Taemin recognises to be agreement before he takes a leap and half-jumps into Taemin's lap. Half-jumps, because before he even has the time to really make it there, Taemin lets out an embarrassingly high-pitched squeak and all but shoves him to the opposite side of the bed. "Actually, let's not do that," He tells him, because that's a terrible idea. Really damn terrible. Zero out of ten wouldn't recommend.

"You're ticklish," Kibum observes later, a teasing grin splitting his face. "Maybe I am," Taemin shrugs, feigning indifference, but the last part is distorted by another squeal when Kibum tries to jab his finger into Taemin's tummy. "That's very dangerous territory," Taemin warns, hands raised protectively in front of his lower abdomen as he takes a few breaths to calm down after the scare. "Noted," Kibum assures, but the corners of his lips are twitching uncontrollably as he tries to keep himself from laughing and Taemin is almost sure his friend will go out of his way to use the discovery to his advantage from now on.

///

It's a couple nights later that Taemin wakes up shivering. Although shivering is still too tame of a word to describe the quivers that are wrecking his body. Letting out a soft groan, he tries sitting up only to find the world around him spinning. Quick and blurry and leaving his head pounding with pain. He tries to get up anyway, but he ends up stumbling face first into Kibum's bed, missing the older boy's sleeping figure by a mere inch or two. Kibum is a light sleeper, though and the impact is more than enough to shock him awake. "Taem?" The older boy's voice calls out, way too loud and up close for Taemin's taste. His answer is an unintelligible sound that speaks of suffering and disorientation but when his gaze meets Kibum's, there is an undeniable hint of amusement twinkling in the older boy's eyes. Asshole. He can't believe Kibum's sympathy for him is so painfully nonexistent on some days. "Don't laugh at me, I'm dying over here," Taemin complains, not even trying to stay on his feet anymore as he gathers the last bit of his strength to pull up his feet onto Kibum's bed. "Sorry," Kibum says, without actually sounding sorry in the slightest. But he reaches out to feel his forehead, at least. "You're burning up." It's a fairly unnecessary observation, because he is hot all over, so of course he is burning up, but he doesn't want to act all snappy right now. He just wants Kibum to make it go away. "I feel like shit," He rasps. "We need to take you to the Hospital wing," Kibum announces, but he mere mention of the place makes Taemin shake his head. "Definitely not," He exclaims, another groan pushing its way past his lips when the movement sends a particularly violent wave of dizziness through his body. He hates the Hospital wing and all the disgusting medicine they force you to swallow there. And the ghosts that won't let you sleep in peace. And the thin mattress that always makes his butt hurt so bad, it's torturous to walk for days after. In short, he wouldn't go there voluntarily if he was dying. There is disapproval written all over Kibum's face at his unwillingness to cooperate, but Taemin sure as hell won't let it stop him. "I'm not going," He repeats, somehow managing to sound forceful even with the violent coughing he breaks out into as soon as he has uttered the last syllable. "Why are you always so stubborn?" Kibum looks so done with him, but he just doesn't understand. Taemin really hates the Hospital wing. "Just…" Taemin pauses, his brain struggling to provide him with the words he is looking for. That, at least, is nothing new, though. He doesn't actually need to have a sky-high fever to fail at speaking. "Don't you have some of your strange herbs for this?" "They're not strange herbs," Kibum narrows his eyes, looking offended for a moment, but in the end he sighs and nods. "Whatever," He rolls over to rummage through the drawer in his bedside table in search of whatever vials and tins and boxes he keeps in there. Taemin wishes he'd just come back and hold him and let him suffer in peace. But all Kibum does is roll his eyes when he tells him exactly that. Pulling out a small bundle of leaves, Kibum considers them for a moment before he mumbles a spell Taemin doesn't catch and they shrink down to almost half their size. Seeming far from satisfied with the result, the older boy gnaws at his lips in uncertainty but decides soon enough that one more time can't hurt as he utters the spell once again. "This should work," Kibum nods to himself. "Here, try it," He presents Taemin with the now dried up leaves, shoving them right under his nose as if that alone is going to be enough to help somehow. "Is it necessary for them to be dried?" Taemin asks, one part curious and the other greatly suspicious. Although Kibum's expertise with Herbology is infamous and he has always been nothing short of fascinated above everything else. If it was him, he would probably be dead already because he would have managed to poison himself years ago. He puked his guts out twice and even fainted once at Mahoutokoro, when Jongin and he searched for a simple red flower with a name Taemin couldn't recall even if he tried and ended up with Hellbore instead. Jongin had told him the colour wasn't quite right but Taemin's conviction couldn't be swayed. The next thing he remembers is waking up on the moist forest ground. Not his proudest moment. So he is glad Kibum knows what he is doing, at least. Because he sure doesn't. "If you don't want to spend the next two days with your head in a toilet bowl it is, yeah." "Just don't expect anything too tasty," Kibum warns. "And stop flailing around. We have to keep you warm." Allowing his friend to drape the duvet over him, Taemin shifts a little to get comfortable before he squeezes his eyes shut and shoves the leaves into his mouth, his face scrunching up as he chews and swallows as quickly as he can. "Good?" Kibum asks, the smile in his voice audible to Taemin even with his eyes still closed. "Not exactly," He says. "Doesn't taste as terrible as I thought, though." "Of course not, I wouldn't give you anything that tastes terrible babe," Kibum presses a kiss to the top of his head and despite the cold still making Taemin's body shake, he swears he is all but melting at the contact. He loves when Kibum is being so soft with him. "But seriously, stop fidgeting," The older boy reminds and Taemin lets out a scratchy laugh as he settles against his friend.

The next time Taemin wakes up, the sun is already starting to rise. He is shaking again, but with laughter this time and Kibum's initial worry over the noises he lets out soon evaporates when he realises Taemin isn't in pain. "What the hell?" The older boy asks from the other side of the bed, obviously having not quite decided yet, whether to be amused or bewildered at his odd behaviour. "I had the strangest dream," Taemin manages to force out before another laughing fit interrupts him midway. He isn't entirely awake yet, the last edges of sleep still blurring his consciousness, but he can't stop laughing. "Actually, it wasn't even that funny, but-" He has to cut himself off once more as he is thrown into another fit of laughter. "What was it about?" Taemin tries for a second, to articulate himself. His chest is hurting and he can barely breathe, though, and it's totally not working. "Oh God, what is wrong with you?" Kibum asks, but he is laughing now, too. Even if Taemin is pretty sure it's only because he makes such a funny picture. "It's your herbs," Taemin claims, still a little winded and Kibum pulls up one of his eyebrows in response before he drawls, "Yeah, just blame me, go ahead," the words followed up with a mostly unintelligible mumble about ungrateful friends and never helping out again. Taemin is glad he can always count on him. "You're still pretty hot," The older boy tells him as he reaches out to check his temperature again after some more muttering about how he really can't be that sick if he's so giggly so early in the morning. "I'm always hot," Taemin winks, lips stretching into a grin. Kibum rolls his eyes. "You haven't even been awake for five minutes and I'm already done with you. Good job," He says and Taemin chuckles. "I do what I can." "I'm feeling better though," He announces and Kibum finally smiles at that, all soft and sweet. "I'm glad."

///

Jonghyun looks like he hasn't slept in days when Taemin joins him up on the tower again for the first time in weeks. There are dark bags under his eyes and he hasn't even brought a book today, but clutches onto one of the Manga Taemin had lend him instead - a story that's meant for easy entertainment more than anything. "It's good to see you," Taemin greets, a smile taking over his face despite the older boy's state because he really is excited to spend time with him again. Jonghyun cracks a tiny smile of his own before he all but collapses on the ground next to him, his body leaning heavy against Taemin's side. Jonghyun had only been allowed to entered the seventh school year at Hogwarts with much difficulty despite his good grades. The situation for wizards of his kind had come within a whisker of escalating more than once in the past few years. And escalate to the point of Kibum, Minho and him fearing for Jonghyun's safety, no less. But it wasn't until the middle of summer break, after an entirely peaceful but 'highly controversial' protest (the Daily Prophet's words, not his) for Muggleborn equality that everything began spiraling out of control. With such speed and intensity, they could barely keep up with everything that was happening until Jonghyun already found the first letter from Hogwarts on his doorstep. A formal notice that things didn't look very good and the headmaster couldn't promise him the possibility of return. They made it work in the end - just barely. But as powerful as a milestone as it had been, Jonghyun and so many others are the ones to bear the brunt of it. Taemin hates it. He thinks it's outrageous, that something like this is happening once again. Things had been peaceful for a decade or two after the Great Battle of Hogwarts and he'd expect his fellow witches and wizards to have learned from the mistakes of past generations, but hatred against Muggleborns never died down completely and there had been multiple occasions just like that time they had to bandage up Jonghyun's arm, during which Kibum had to accompany Jonghyun on his way to class or back to the safety of the Gryffindor common room to keep the older boy from getting hurt. But that was last year and it's even worse now. So much worse. And the older boy's dark circles and equally dark bruises are only one of many painful proofs of it. Taemin had learned quite a bit about the Western Wizarding world's oppression - and in some cases, straight out hatred - of Muggleborns at Mahoutokoro, but witnessing it first hand had been downright mind blowing to him. Hearing some of the taunts and curses thrown Jonghyun's way (much more vile even, than the dirty looks Kibum has to put up with) stunned him into silence more often than not. In Japan, Muggleborns are celebrated as a great gift - a beautiful alignment of fate that had made it possible for a Muggle family to bear a magical child - and to Taemin, Jonghyun is exactly that. Amazing and wonderful and undeserving of all the hurt he is being put through. "Are you holding up okay?" Taemin asks, his arm slipping around Jonghyun's smaller frame to pull him closer. Jonghyun nods as he leans into the touch and lets his head fall onto Taemin's shoulder. Searching his brain for anything he could say to provide his friend with some much needed distraction, Taemin latches onto the first thing he sees. "Are you liking the Manga so far?" He asks, catching its brightly coloured cover out of the corner of his eye. Jonghyun seems confused for a moment, his eyebrows scrunching up, and Taemin thinks it's beyond adorable. "Not exactly," He answers truthfully, a shrug accompanying his words. "Really? What's the issue with it?" "The portrayal of the female characters," Jonghyun says, a bit of light returning to his eyes. "I don't like it. You know how they are all introduced as these strong women at first and you're thinking 'Finally, some good representation,' but by the tenth volume the artist completely ruins it by making them do all this irrational stuff and turns them into the typical Shoujo characters we've seen a million times before? I've never read a character development that's been worse, seriously. Why bother painting them as tough girls if he gives up halfway through and ends up forcing them into easy stereotypes after all?" Taemin is pretty sure he hasn't grasped half of what Jonghyun just told him - especially once his speaking speed picked up somewhere in the middle - but he's heard enough to get the gist of it. "Did you never notice that?" Jonghyun wonders at the look of confusion that has taken over Taemin's face and Taemin has to admit that no, he totally didn't. Not once. "I guess I didn't pay much attention to the girls?" He tells him. "I just care about the action scenes." "Of course you would," Jonghyun giggles and Taemin can't help but mimic the expression. Jonghyun's laughs are infectious and it's adorable.

It's only two days later that Kibum snaps - when Jonghyun shows up to lunch break with a black eye and a split lip - and smuggles the older boy into the Slytherin dormitory for the first time, because sleeping by himself just isn't safe anymore. Taemin wonders why no one ever stops them, but he doesn't want to ask and risk having their luck slip straight through their fingers. "Even if they'd try to, I wouldn't give a flying fuck," Kibum tells him when he does bring it up at last. It is only much later that he learns that even the teachers knew about Jonghyun's nights spend in the Slytherin dormitory. They knew but chose to to turn a blind eye on it, because many, if not the majority, of them didn't agree with the treatment of Muggleborns, but couldn't do much else to help. Some of their fellow Slytherins weren't quite so kind, but Taemin expected far worse than the few glares they had thrown their way. Taemin figures it's thanks to Kibum, who can be pretty scary and intimidating if he needs to be. And had openly threatened to accidentally spill a few drops of some highly toxic tincture into their teas if they didn't behave. Which might have helped, too. It isn't ideal and Taemin thinks it's horrible they had to take such measures in the first place, but he finds himself smiling whenever he wakes up to see his friends curled up next to each other, still. Kibum always makes a point of keeping Jonghyun close, a protective arm wrapped around him even in his sleep and it makes Taemin feel warm all over. He is so glad Kibum and him can be there for the older boy in difficult times like these. (And he especially likes the days when Jonghyun sends him a look from the other bed and gives a careful nod when Taemin asks "Do you have space for one more person over there?" and allows Taemin to reaches out for his hand while Kibum holds him tight.)

///

Kibum and him are striding through the corridors leading to the Slytherin common room when an unfamiliar voice calls the older boy's name from a distance away. "Hey Kibum," They yell again, louder this time, and Taemin turns around to find a group of boys approaching. One of them is the same who'd been 'warning' him about Kibum all these months ago and Taemin is instantly alert. It's always the same few people who are unable to accept differences and those boys definitely fall into that category. The kind who talk shit all the time and can't walk past Kibum without dropping a comment and won't leave Jonghyun alone because he's a Muggleborn and he deserves it. Subtly nudging Kibum to the other side of the broad corridor, Taemin tries to put as much distance between them as possible, the taunting laughs making his lungs constrict. "Did you take your potion today?" One guy asks and another adds "The full moon is out," finishing off with a poor impression of a werewolf's cry. Taemin can see the irritation taking over Kibum's face, his features twisting from what had been an unaffected mask all throughout the past few minutes to a seething sneer. And the other boys seems to be aware of the shift, too, ready to take on the unspoken challenge. Taemin doesn't like it. It is painful enough to see the countless marks of conflict on Jonghyun's body every day and he really doesn't want Kibum to suffer through the same thing, too. So before his friend has the time to voice the litany of colourful insults he is getting ready to throw at them, Taemin has stepped in front of him. "Go bother someone else," He says with feigned bravery in his voice, before he grabs Kibum's hand to lead him away from the situation. He is surprised that no one tries to stop them, or throws some inappropriate comment at their retreating backs. But it's just as well. Taemin hates these kind of confrontations anyway. He never handles them as well as he would like. Letting go of Kibum once they're in the clear, he asks, "Is it just me or does this school keep becoming a worse place to be?" frustrated and disappointed, but Kibum doesn't answer. "I can take care of myself, you know," He says instead, and Taemin freezes on the spot, worried he's angered his friend, for a moment. When he turns to look at him, Kibum is smiling, though. The fond kind of smile Taemin adores so much more than words can express. "Oh, I don't doubt that," Taemin chuckles. It isn't the first time he witnesses something like this happening, after all. And Kibum is capable of dealing with it so much better than Taemin ever could, that's for sure. He always has the best comebacks and the perfect expressions to excerpt superiority - full of disdain and condescension. "That was sweet of you," Kibum grabs his hand again and gives it a tiny squeeze, and he doesn't let go until their walking up the stairs to the Slytherin dormitory.

Taemin loves Hogwarts. He really does. Enrolling had been like a dream come true - so much so that it made even the prospect of leaving behind his best friend in Japan seem manageable. But the incident with Kibum had been the last straw. The fatal blow to his tiny bubble of pink clouds and excitement he had floated in ever since he first arrived at Hogwarts. It isn't the first time someone is targeting Kibum and it is far from the only frustrating thing that's happened in the past year, but somehow it took that one confrontation for everything to finally come crashing down at him. And he hates how powerless it makes him feel. Because he can be there and he can stand up for his friends - in those occasional brave moments - but he can never really keep them safe like he wants to. Shield them from all the pointless hatred and the hurtful words and only ever tell them how beautiful and amazing they are.

///

Taemin can all but feel Kibum fuming as they make their way back to the Slytherin common room. The older boy's strides are quick - too quick for him to keep up with, almost - and his expression is tight with anger. It takes until rounding multiple corners and leaving the last of their fellow students behind, for Kibum to voice his frustration, though. "I can't believe they are doing this. It's so fucking messed up." "At least they will be allowed to finish the school year," Taemin tries to muster a little positivity, but Kibum crushes it right on the spot. "Ohh yeah, how gracious of them," He spits, all tense shoulders and seething words. Taemin is glad Kibum's anger isn't directed at him, because it scares him to see his friend like this. Kibum has always been the passionate type, but it isn't often that he gets angry and Taemin understands, but he doesn't like it. He never likes people getting angry. Before his discomfort has the chance to reach the point of being unbearable, however, Kibum's entire demeanour shifts - narrowed eyes and gritted teeth making way for hanging shoulders and heavy sighs. "Why is it always like this?" He asks, dejected. "Why do we keep making the same mistakes all over again?" Taemin has no answer for him.

Kibum sneaks outside again later that night and doesn't return until long after midnight, without Jonghyun in tow like Taemin expected. If it wasn't for his tail brushing against his nose, Taemin wouldn't even have noticed. But as graceful as Kibum is with his movements as a cat, he is always a little clumsy with his tail. Enough so for Taemin to be the one to pick up shards and broken items from the ground more often than he can count. "Where'd you go?" Taemin slurs, peering over at his friend with hooded eyes. Kibum looks like he is contemplating for a moment, his ears twitching into every which direction and his tail swaying from left to right. And it startles Taemin when he jumps back onto the ground only to stand a few feet above him all of a sudden as he shifts back into his wizard self, the transformation hidden in the dark. "Jonghyun," Kibum says simply, and Taemin is confused, because what where they talking about again? Oh yeah, right. He really shouldn't try and have a sensible conversation when his mind is so fuzzy, he can barely remember his own name. "You used protection I hope." "Shut up," Kibum says, but it lacks the sass he is very much capable of. That's never a good sign. "Is he doing okay?" Taemin asks, worry filling up his chest at every second of silence ticking by. The news of the day had been crushing to them. Hogwarts won't be allowed to accept any more Muggleborns from the next school year on (there will be a special school introduced for their kind and Taemin doesn't even want to imagine what that entails) and the ones already enrolled at school won't be allowed to take their N.E.W.T.s without passing multiple Ministry-controlled preliminary tests to determine their skills. Which they all know means that the Ministry will do everything in their power to make it as hard for them as possible. Stepping into his pajama pants, Kibum takes his sweet time responding and Taemin is getting ready to complain just as the older boy finally assures "He's fine." "You know he wasn't planning to get a job in the Wizarding world anyway. So it's gonna be okay," Kibum doesn't look convinced of his own words, though. Not really. But Taemin hopes he is right. Pursuing work in the Wizarding world or not, Jonghyun doesn't deserve to be treated this way. And he hopes Jonghyun knows that. "Why didn't you bring him?" Taemin asks, slightly more awake now. "Minho is with him," Kibum says, and then "Sometimes he needs Minho more than me. " Taemin nods. Jonghyun loves Kibum more than anything, but Taemin has learned that there are days where the boy's presence is a bit too intense and overwhelming. It's still hard for Kibum not to beat himself up whenever Jonghyun tells him that he needs some space and Jonghyun feels sorry every single time, but they are getting there. And if Kibum has a rough day and it's especially upsetting for him, to be send away, Taemin is always waiting right here to provide comfort. Today, Kibum is okay, though. Enough so to crack a small smile when Taemin lifts his duvet to invite him into his bed, even.

Taemin doesn't comment on the dark hickey peeking out from underneath Jonghyun's school uniform collar the next morning or the matching one he spots on Kibum's shoulder as they are getting dressed. But he can't resist wiggling his eyebrows and shooting Kibum a knowing grin and Kibum looks like he is going to be done with him for the next five weeks at least. "Shut up," Kibum deadpans. "Never."

///

The sky is covered with fluffy grey clouds - the kind that look like someone has washed one of their pristine white blankets with their black skinny jeans by accident and stretched it above their heads instead of throwing it into the trash - and it has been raining ever since he first woke in the morning. A steady drizzle that might as well continue for the entirety of the week (and maybe next, too. Taemin sure wouldn't be surprised.) And it's the perfect kind of weather for a lazy Sunday. Absolutely stellar. Except Taemin has been on his feet for hours, excitement making it hard to sit still. "Why on earth are you so hyper today?" Kibum lets out a groan as he watches him all but jump down the hallways, barely able to keep up with his fast pace. "You're grinning like you won the lottery or something," The older boy says and Taemin thinks he might as well have. "I'm just happy," Taemin tells him, the disdainful glare Kibum sends him doing nothing to put a damper on his good mood. "We're all going to Hogsmeade together," He gushes when Kibum raises his eyebrow at him. Taemin has no idea how his friend doesn't share the same sentiment. It doesn't happen a whole lot that all four of them have the chance to spend an entire day together. Sure there is lunch and dinner, but even for those their little circle of friends is missing one person more often than not. "You're never this excited when it is just the two of us," His friend accuses and Taemin falters. "But I am," He pouts, not quite upset but still a little shaken. "You know I like you a lot and I love spending time with you," He makes sure to tell Kibum, because there an underlying trace of insecurity to his teasing sometimes and the last thing he wants is to feed into that. "Of course, I know. I didn't mean to upset you, baby," Kibum steps into his personal space to take a hold of his hand and Taemin easily accepts it. He has always liked how much bigger than his Kibum's hand is. Maybe he is biased, but he thinks they fit into each other perfectly.

They are not even on their second Butterbeer and Jonghyun is already properly buzzed. They had stopped by the post office, first, because Minho's parents still insist on receiving their mail the traditional way, before strolling through the village with no particular destination in mind. At least until Dogweed and Deathcap comes into view because there was no stopping Kibum from then on. They spent what must have been an entire hour squeezed into the tiny shop, standing by as Kibum admired their newest arrivals and attentively listened to every bit of information the old lady at the front desk provided him with. Jonghyun and he didn't dare to complain, but Minho wasn't quite so cautious and so before Kibum could use up even the last of the money he brought on colour-changing Chinese ginko leaves and deep sea algae, he unceremoniously guided Kibum out the door without paying his protests any mind. And Kibum had grumbled a little under his breath, but Taemin was surprised he didn't resist more. Perhaps he knew it was going to be futile. Or perhaps the promise of a drink at the Three Broomsticks was enough to have Kibum decide that he's heard enough about herbs today. "We'll have to carry you back to school if you actually finish that," Kibum teases as Jonghyun grabs his mug of Butterbeer with both hands before trusting himself enough to take another sip. "I told you we should have just went for tea instead," Jonghyun whines, glaring at no one in particular but Taemin doesn't remember the older boy to have been very insistent in his attempt to sway their choice of establishment. It isn't a secret that he doesn't hold his liquor well, but Taemin had never actually seen it and it's adorable. Butterbeer is far from the strongest drink, after all, and yet Jonghyun has already reached a point of slurring his words. Even if it's just the slightest bit. "Come on, I'll order a tea for you," Minho gently eases the mug out of Jonghyun's hands. "Is peppermint fine? I don't think they have anything too fancy here." "Yeah, that's all right. Thank you," Jonghyun nods, but his eyes are glassy and unfocused and Taemin isn't sure if he even knows what he'd agreed to. "Jonghyun," Kibum calls out, his Adam's apple bobbing with the last gulp of his own drink before he slides Jonghyun's half empty mug to his side of the table. "Yes?" Jonghyun lifts his gaze, questioning. "You're always so messy," Kibum says, and there is no particular intention behind the words, but Taemin can hear Jonghyun's breath hitch as Kibum reaches across to wipe off the foam along Jonghyun's upper lip. The older boy's mouth falls open almost on instinct and Kibum falters briefly before a wicked grin takes over his face as he slips his thumb inside. Just for a second. Just long enough to catch on his bottom row of teeth and tug at his lower lip and make Jonghyun shudder in his seat, before he pulls back. The whine of protest Jonghyun lets out is so loud, Taemin chances a careful glance around to make sure nobody is watching. But Kibum is unfazed. "Later," He says simply. Taemin can't believe he just had to witness that with his own two eyes. When Minho returns, it takes no more than a quick look at Jonghyun for him to notice the older boy's flustered state. "Why are you teasing him when he's already like this?" He narrows his eyes at Kibum, one arm coming to protectively sling around Jonghyun's shoulder as he reclaims his spot next to him. "He likes it, don't you baby?" Kibum shrugs, not looking sorry in the slightest, and judging from the way Jonghyun's gaze keeps finding Kibum's - his expression a mixture of impatient and hopeful - he has no reason to be. Taemin isn't even surprised when Kibum's bed lies empty that night.

///

Taemin loves Christmas. Not the cold, for sure, and not the snow, either. But the food and spending time with his family and giving out presents. Especially giving out presents. Jonghyun and Minho already got theirs early - a Charmander plushie for Jonghyun (sometimes Jongin actually is good for something) and a pair of gloves for Minho (handpicked by Kim Kibum himself) - and Taemin still feels all giddy whenever he recalls just how smiley they both got after the wrapping paper came off. Kibum is excited about the holidays, too. Last year, the older boy's parents weren't around for almost the entirety of December and January - because of a trip to America, to visit a couple of distant relatives, according to the older boy - and Taemin had insisted that his friend should come along to his family's celebration (plus Jongin who came all the way from Japan to see him, but he kind of counts as family, too) back then, but it never happened. Instead Kibum had opted to stay at Hogwarts with Minho and that was that. This Christmas, his parents have no plans of leaving the country, though and Kibum's eyes are shining every time someone asks him about it. It's adorable and Taemin is happy for him. It hadn't been easy for his friend to have no chance to see his parents the previous year and he is glad this time is going to be different. They board the Hogwarts express together and slip into one of the last empty compartments left. Kibum scolds him for propping up his feet on the seat opposite of his (and complains for five minutes straight when Taemin toes of his shoes because "Fine, I'm not getting it dirty anymore now. See?") but in the end they fall into peaceful silence as the train passes snowy hills and fields and tiny towns appearing in the most unlikely spots all along the tracks. Watching the world rush by, Taemin feels his eyelids grow heavier by the second and before he knows, his head is doing the embarrassing bobbing thing as he starts dozing off. "Sleepy?" Kibum asks, and Taemin is conscious enough to let out a soft "Huh?", but although he even manages to open his eyes, he struggles to keep it that way. Sees no reasons to waste his energy fighting it, really. All he needs is somewhere soft to rest his head, and sure, Kibum is infinitely more cozy and petable as a cat, but he's tired and his friend's shoulder looks beyond comfortable. At least compared to the scarce amount of other options he has - the cold train window and the hard armrest and not much else. So he makes the decision on the spot. His body must feel like a dead weight against the older boy, but Kibum doesn't complain. When he turns his head a little to get more comfortable, he can see Kibum grinning out of the corner of his eye. And the urge to tease him about it is strong, but in the end, Taemin decides not to comment on it.

///

"My mum said she'd be waiting on the platform to pick us up," Taemin forces out between muffled yawns as they squeeze their way through family reunifications and heaps of lost students crowding Platform 9 3/4. "Does she look a lot like you? Just way shorter and with more meat on her ribs?" Kibum asks, and Taemin furrows his eyebrows, because yeah, she totally does. "How do you-" He begins, his voice filled with confusion. He never has the time to finish the question, though, because suddenly his mum is right there, hugging him and fussing over him and if she squeezes him any more tightly he swears he is going to suffocate. Pointing into his friend's direction, Taemin introduces him with an awkward mumble of, "Mum, this is Kibum." Kibum makes up for it tenfold, though as he sends his mother the most dashing smile and extends his hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you ma'am." "Ohh my, our Taeminnie never told me what a handsome young man you are," Taemin's mum says, mustering Kibum from top to bottom before accepting his handshake. Taemin wants the ground to swallow him whole.

///

They drop Kibum off a few blocks from his home because he insists it's fine and Taemin is just a little sad that they won't see each other for two whole weeks. But Kibum is going to have a great time at home, he is sure. And he doesn't want to ruin that by whining about how much he is going to miss his friend. So he smiles and waves and hugs Kibum tight one last time and they part ways just like that. His mum gushes about Kibum and his good manners and his pretty face the entire rest of the way home and it's embarrassing, but Taemin can't say he disagrees with her.

Once they have arrived, he lies down for a nap without bothering to unpack (he wouldn't even have stripped of his school uniform if his mother didn't scold him for wrinkling his dress shirt) and catches another three hours of sleep before his body finally decides he has rested enough for the day. His mind is fuzzy and he is still a bit unsteady on his feet when he staggers to the other side of his room to flip open his suitcase, so when a sudden buzzing sound cuts through the silence, he has no idea where it is coming from at first. But then it happens again, and again, in a suspiciously meticulous pattern, and Oh. Oh, right. He does own a phone, doesn't he? Frantically tossing boxer shorts and school books aside, he fishes the device from the depths of his suitcase just as the vibrations pick up a second time to signalise an incoming call. It's from an unknown number and Taemin stares at his phone like he hopes the intensity of his gaze alone will be enough to make it stop ringing, because he sure as hell isn't going to pick that up. Unknown numbers are begging to be ignored. Breathing a sigh of relief when the call is turned over to voice mail, he thinks that whoever it is will call again if it's actually important. Or they'll never call ever again. He could live with that, too. Luck isn't on his side today, however, and it's less than a minute later, that the vibrating picks up again. Taemin swears it sounds more insistent this time, even. And he struggles to make the decision to pick up, his body all but fighting him as he begins reaching out, but in the end, he manages to drag his thumb over the screen and lift the device to his ear. "Yes?" He asks, careful and ready to throw his phone across the room if someone tries to talk to him about Jesus or congratulate him for his one million pound lottery win. "Finally, for fuck sake," Kibum's voice sounds from the other end of the line, annoyed but oddly relieved, even as he asks, "Do you always take this long to answer your phone?" "Bum?" Taemin blinks. He didn't expect that for sure. "Where did you get my number?" "From you?" Kibum drawls, clearly impatient. "Can I come over?" "Umm, yeah?" Taemin is confused. Very confused. He's been home for no more than five hours and he didn't expect to hear from Kibum any time soon. Wasn't even sure if they would be in contact at all until their trip back to Hogwarts after the New Year. "Right now?" He asks, his brain barely able to keep up with the sudden request. "Good, I'll be there in a bit," Kibum says simply and hangs up before Taemin can complain about his question being so blatantly ignored. Sometimes Kibum really is kind of unbelievable.

"Okay, what's up?" Taemin demands to know the second they got the awkward introductions and half-assed explanations out of the way. (Kibum came up with some white lie on the spot and Taemin nodded along without listening, because he knows Kibum so much better than that). "You know I'm thrilled to have you here and stuff, but what's going on?" Making a quick gesture to invite Kibum to sit on his bed, Taemin plops down without much finesse, hoping to break some of the odd tension between them. A look of conflict passes over Kibum's face, and he takes his time joining his friend, the silence between them becoming harder to bear by the second. "My parents were fighting," He admits at last, his eyes jumping all across Taemin's room to avoid his gaze and Taemin's heart sinks at his friend's hunched shoulders and uncharacteristically meek voice. "Lots." "With you? Or with each other?" Taemin wonders. He isn't sure what he'd expected to hear. Had attempted to come up with a reason for Kibum's request the moment their phone call ended, only to turn up empty-handed every time. All he knows is that by the time Kibum arrived, his chest was tight with worry. "Both," Kibum looks like it pains him, to keep speaking, and Taemin wants to tell him that it's okay. That he doesn't have to force himself. But Kibum seems to have made up his mind already. "They found out what I'm doing at school," He says, and Taemin has no idea what his friend is talking about, until Kibum elaborates "You know being involved with more people beside Jonghyun." Because that kind of makes sense. As much as Taemin wishes it didn't. "The headmaster contacted them about it after someone 'voiced their concern' or some shit like that," Kibum goes on, his voice turning bitter and Taemin's eyes grow wide. "Are you serious?" Kibum nods and Taemin doesn't even try to hide how much it pisses him off that anyone would do something like this. "That's so messed up, what the hell?" "I mean…I get that people don't understand. I don't expect them to," Kibum says. "But I wish they'd mind their own fucking business." "I'm sorry," Taemin knows it isn't going to fix anything, but he feels the need to say it anyway. "It's okay. I just need some time away from home right now," Kibum says, scooting closer to rest his head on Taemin's shoulder. "My parents will get around. They always do," Taemin feels him shrug, a weak little motion, and Taemin can't help but wonder how often this happens. He doesn't think there is anything about his friend that warrants any freak outs. Disapproval, maybe, or concern, but most of it is irrational above everything else. He doesn't intend to ask about it, but Kibum knows him too well by now. Well enough to read the question in his eyes without him uttering a single word. "They knew about Jonghyun and me for a long time. And they couldn't stand the thought of it at first," He says, teeth worrying his lips. "It's all about maintaining face to them. Being a perfect and pristine picture of a family. You know," The pause is followed by a shaky sigh, and then "The kind that is only ever envied and gossiped about for their achievements, not their flaws." Taemin nods, an automatic motion. Those kind of people exist for sure. "They didn't like me dying my hair, either," Kibum goes on. "But that they were able to look past pretty quickly at least." It hits Taemin then, that Kibum has hardly every mentioned his family around him. Often enough for Taemin to know that Kibum is an only child and his parents have always worked a lot, but not much else besides that. Not a word about arguments or unrealistic expectations or anything of the like. "So this happens a lot?" If he is honest, Taemin is scared to ask, because he knows he won't like Kibum's answer. "I guess," Kibum shrugs. "It used to be way more often when I wasn't attending Hogwarts yet. Now it's just whenever shit like this happens." "Don't worry about it," Kibum nudges his shoulder when Taemin pulls back a little to look at him, lost and wanting so badly to help, but having no idea how. "It's okay," The older boy repeats. Taemin would have no problem detecting the uncertainty in it from a mile away, though. And there is something else that bothers him. "You never told me about any of this," Taemin mumbles, trying but failing to keep the disappointment from sneaking into his voice. It's the first time he hears Kibum speak about his parents in a manner that isn't vaguely positive at the very least and he trusts that his friend has had his reasons to keep quiet, but it upsets him, still, to think that Kibum never even mentioned it. "I know," Kibum sighs. "I'm sorry." "But to be honest, there was no reason to," He says, finally meeting his eyes as he explains "Ever since we took that vacation together back before you and I first met everything was going really well. And I thought they finally accepted that I'm just…not the conventional type." "But I guess they are still struggling to wrap their head around having a son that won't graduate with flying colours and work a high position at the Ministry of Magic and bring a wife and three children to the table five years down the road," His friend doesn't sound upset. Resigned is more like it, and Taemin isn't sure which is worse. Taemin knows he got lucky with his own parents, because it is rare to find a Korean mum and dad who are quite as open-minded as them. His dad spent the entire first twenty six years of his life in London and his mum came to England to study, so he guesses that's how their attitude became liberal like it is today. But then again, Kibum's parents have been in England for a good three decades, too, so there probably isn't much to be certain about with any of this. Taemin thinks it's funny, because he still remembers what kind of an image he's had of Kibum all the way back when they first met. How he looked at him and immediately decided that he knew Kibum's type. Knew that he was one of those people Taemin used to despise. The kind that has a huge talent for one specific field, but excels at every other subject, too. As if it wouldn't be so much more fair to distribute talent evenly amongst the population. Give everyone a piece of the cake. But even more than the unnecessarily large amount of skills, Taemin hated when those exact people were the ones to stress about every little test and project as if failure was imminent. As if it wasn't already clear that they would emerge with the highest scores and a few extra words of praise from the teacher and all else good students deserved. Meeting Kibum, however, he learned that just like everything in life, this too was an issue far from black and white. Learned that Kibum wasn't perfect and didn't always radiate confidence and simply needed a little reassurance sometimes. Placing his hand on top of Kibum's, Taemin gives it an encouraging squeeze. "Maybe you're not the conventional type, but your still pretty amazing," He tells him. Kibum looks surprised for a second before the corners of his lips twitch into a smile. "Yeah, I'm magical," He agrees, and it doesn't sound entirely sincere, but there is a twinkle in Kibum's eyes that Taemin knows all to well. Pulling Kibum close, Taemin presses a kiss to the top of his head and Kibum is full-on grinning now. So bright and beautiful, it makes Taemin's heart flutter with excitement. And he is just a little sad when Kibum leans over to rest his head on his shoulder a second time, because he can't see his face properly like this. Taemin likes looking at Kibum. He's perfect. His sharp eyes and bow-shaped lips and defined jaw. His broad shoulders and wavy hair and big hands. Each feature is contrasting with the next, and it shouldn't make for such a fitting picture, and yet it does. It's unconventional, just like most of Kibum is unconventional, but that's what Taemin loves about him. He could probably tell Kibum that the sound of running water turns him on (it doesn't), or that he always needs to have at least five stuffed animals in his bed at night to be able to fall asleep (one is more than enough) and Kibum would treat it with the same open mind as he treated everything else Taemin has ever told him. And that's beautiful, too. But sometimes Taemin doesn't think Kibum knows. When it's one of those days where he avoids his own eyes in every mirror and and complains about his school uniform being too tight - implications of 'my shoulders are too broad' or 'I totally gained weight' sprinkled in left and right - and Taemin can practically see just how uncomfortable he feels in his own skin. Taemin always wondered where it was coming from. And what kind of events would trigger it. Because the Kibum he spends most of his time with is confident and blunt and doesn't care what others say. Only now he is starting to feel like the pieces of the puzzle are finally coming together. "You really are. Amazing. And magical," Taemin thinks that he will keep saying it until Kibum will believe him. Until even the last hint of sarcasm will be gone from Kibum's voice. "What's with you today?" Kibum musters him suspiciously, like he is trying to figure out whether Taemin is just messing with him at this point. Taemin isn't sure if he finds anything. But he doesn't need to. Because when he reaches up to brush Kibum's bangs out of his eyes, Kibum holds his breath - as if he already knows what's going to happen. Taemin has never been particularly enthusiastic about kissing, but sometimes Kibum smiles at him like he is the most precious thing in the world, or gets that look of infinite fondness in his eyes when their gazes meet and Taemin feels the intense need to be close to Kibum then. As close as he possibly can without shedding their clothes and letting their hands wander across bare skin. Today it's neither. Today, Kibum's gaze is guarded and his shoulders are tense and Taemin wants to help. Even if he can do no more than take Kibum's mind off his parents for a while. Kibum's lips are soft against his own when he kisses him. Taemin had made sure to keep his approach slow, to grant his friend enough time to assess the situation and tell him no if he'd rather Taemin staying away. Kibum meets him halfway, though, nothing but the sheer fear of frightening Taemin keeping him from crowding the younger boy into the wall. And it's nice. It's nice until Kibum tilts his head and presses closer, hands gripping at either side of his waist. His movements are just as slow and careful as Taemin's had been, giving the younger boy the freedom to retreat if he feels uncomfortable with anything Kibum is doing, but Taemin remembers all too soon, why he doesn't usually kiss people. And Kibum's touch serves as a stark reminder, his skin burning in a way that is almost painful. Pulling back with a jerk, Taemin sucks in a deep breath to force down the wave of panic building in his chest and he feels so, so bad when Kibum immediately moves to the other side of the bed. "I'm sorry," Kibum says, the apology followed by the soft question of "Are you okay?" "Fine," Taemin insists, but when he shifts back into Kibum's personal space, the older boy shakes his head. "You don't have to," Kibum tells him, his eyes searching Taemin's face as he keeps his palms flat against the younger boy's chest to leave a safe distance between them. "I know," Taemin nods. He leans in to place a kiss on Kibum's cheek this time, but it doesn't feel right anymore. 'But I want to,' is left unsaid, because Taemin feels stupid now. Offering comfort was all he wanted to do, but it's been replaced by regret burning in the pit of his stomach, because he should have known it wouldn't be enough. And he feels like an idiot for trying, still. But Kibum's smile seems a bit more genuine now and he doesn't look quite so dejected anymore, and Taemin doesn't want to ruin that. Doesn't want to make this about him when it's Kibum who's had a shitty day and needs cheering up.

///

They have dinner with Taemin's parents, no questions asked about Kibum's sudden appearance. His parents aren't exactly the relaxed type and Taemin can all but feel the suspicion and the unspoken questions hanging in the air, but he is grateful they decided to keep those to themselves for now. Kibum is still tense - albeit doing a decent enough job covering up the signs and fooling his parents, at least - and Taemin doesn't want him to feel any worse. Retreating back into Taemin's room as soon as the dinner table is clear, they unpack the few items of clothing and toiletries Kibum had stuffed into the first bag he found before bolting from his home. "I won't bother you for long," Kibum makes sure to tell him, because the pile of clothes he brought kind of makes it look like he planned to spend a lot more than just the two weeks of Winter holidays with him. "You aren't a bother," Taemin retorts. "It sucks that you have to deal with this, but I'm glad you're here. Two weeks without you would have been pretty hard." Pulling up one of his eyebrows, Kibum considers his words for a moment before he breaks out into a teasing smile. "I think you're taking it a bit too far with all the flattery today." Taemin feels heat rise into his cheeks at the obnoxious wink Kibum sends his way. It is a miracle that even after all this time, he isn't used to Kibum's flirting yet. Throwing himself onto his bed, he buries his face into his pillow to hide how flustered he his. Not that Kibum can't read him like an open book by now. "Taem?" Kibum calls out for him, and when Taemin lifts his head to look at him, the older boy has his teeth buried into his lower lip, conflicted. It's such a sudden shift that it leaves Taemin's head spinning. "Would you mind if I shifted for a bit?" Kibum asks. "Of course not," Taemin assures quickly. "You literally don't even have to ask." "But a quick warning is always good," Taemin adds. "Right. Thanks. You can go ahead and…do whatever I guess. I just need some peace," Kibum shrugs and Taemin nods because he really doesn't mind. And he expects Kibum to move into another room, because he never shifts in front of him, but the older boy is hesitating, still. Finally, he steps closer to join him on his bed, leaving them in the exact same spots they had abandoned less than an hour ago when Taemin's mum called them to the dinner table. "It is very useful, you know," Kibum says - out of the blue - and Taemin has no idea what he is referring to. "Being able to turn into a cat, I mean," Kibum explains. "It takes a lot of stress away," He says and Taemin isn't sure where Kibum is going with this, but it is interesting to hear him talk so candidly about a skill he always treats with such secrecy and reluctance. It had Taemin wondering a lot, whether it is actually a burden to his friend rather than a blessing. Had him wondering whether there was much of a purpose to it at all and whether Kibum would be better off not being able to turn into a cat at will. But it starts making more sense now. He had figured that shifting did serve some kind of purpose to the older boy. One that went beyond looking soft and cuddly and having the ability to make himself fit into a shoebox. He could never quite see the connection, though. But he kind of gets it now. There is no need for speaking as a cat, no need for complex verbal communication like there is as a wizard. And Taemin images it to be more instinctive and simple, too. "I don't know what I would do without it," Kibum adds. "But why are you so insecure about it then?" Taemin asks the question he'd been burning to pose for the longest time. "Cause people are stupid," Kibum shrugs, feigning indifference, but Taemin sees right through him. "That's a vague answer," Taemin remarks, and he doesn't mean to upset his friend, but since they are already on the topic, he feels like maybe he can press a bit more. Because Kibum doesn't seem uncomfortable per se. More so frustrated, his voice heavy with it as he retorts, "If you heard about how much of a freak you are almost every day for years of your life, you wouldn't think it's so vague anymore."' "In a goddamn Wizarding society," He shakes his head as if he can't believe it himself, just how people would react to his abilities. "Isn't this shit supposed to be normal here?" "You know I think it's amazing, right?" Taemin tells him. Because it is. And Taemin hates that anyone would try to make Kibum feel otherwise. "Yeah, I know," Kibum nods, some of the tension leaving his body as he sinks into Taemin's side, "I'm glad you do." It's the first time Kibum doesn't leave. The transformation is over in a flash, the seamless morphing from skin to fur and human limbs to elegant curves barely visible to the eye. But Taemin is struck by awe either way. "That's so cool," He swoons as Kibum jumps onto his bed, the older boy letting out a warning hiss when Taemin reaches out with a devilish grin, ready to mess with his tail. "Okay okay, sorry," Taemin apologises, holding up his hands in defeat but not looking sorry in the slightest. Kibum is so used to his antics by now, he isn't fazed. And even Taemin's comment of "Just so you know, if you don't wanna see Manga dudes having messy sex, you should close your eyes for like the next two hours," as he holds up the first book from the pile of Yaoi Manga he plans to make his way through doesn't earn him much of a reaction. Taemin remembers the first time he allowed himself to read one of them with his friend curled up next to him. Remembers how Kibum had been indifferent at first, uncaring of the decidedly plain dialogue, but how his interest (and indignation) had been sparked the second things became more steamy. Kibum had pawed at the bright red 'Rated R' sticker on the cover, as if to say 'You're only 15 you're not supposed to read this, Lee Taemin', but they both knew it was all for show. Taemin has never cared much about what he is and isn't supposed to do and Kibum has been friends with him long enough to have stopped bothering to try and lecture the younger boy. It's nothing but a waste of breath anyway. Today, Kibum doesn't even bat an eyelash anymore. But he makes a point of maneuvering his body so his head is buried in Taemin's chest, the last of the tension in his limbs easing as his eyes fall shut and he relaxes against his friend. Taemin grins, tempted to tell Kibum just how adorable of a picture he makes, but he figures he's already cooed about him enough in the last hour. He doesn't want to spoil him too much, after all. One of his hands comes up to ruffle behind Kibum's ears ever so often - an absent-minded motion - and he smiles when Kibum's body starts vibrating with purrs. He knows there isn't much he can do for his friend, but he is glad he can make him feel good. It's reassuring to know his presence isn't entirely useless, especially on days like this one where he wishes he could be there for him in every way he needs. And he feels grateful, to have the privilege of being allowed to see his friend in such a vulnerable position. As a wizard, Kibum is tall and broad-shouldered. Unwavering. But as a cat, he is so lithe and breakable, Taemin worries he could hurt him sometimes. He never would, but it's would be so easy, and it scares to know Kibum is straying about the castle grounds as a cat every once in a while. It's easy to cause serious damage to such a small creature and there are enough people who have no qualms doing so. But they aren't in Hogwarts right now and Kibum is safe with him. He always will be.

///

Christmas Eve goes by in a flash, and without a hitch, too. Lots of socialising, lots of food, but nothing out of the ordinary. Except that Taemin isn't the only person below forty at the table, which doesn't only make for a welcome change, but a more relaxing time as well. Because at least his parents' attention isn't always on him like this. And at least he doesn't have to explain why his Potions mark was so much better at Mahoutokoro than it is now. Or justify why his hair is now a dashing shade of blonde. Or talk about Jongin and what his family is doing this wonderful Christmas season when he still misses his best friend so dearly, the last thing he wants is to be reminded that they aren't spending the holidays together for the first time in over ten years. Instead, they are grilling Kibum about anything and everything (Taemin alternates between feeling bad for his friend and kicking him in the shin from across the table because it really isn't necessary for Kibum to spill any "funny" stories about their time at Hogwarts to his parents), but he is impressed at how well Kibum is handling it. He would have had to excuse himself and hide in the restroom hours ago because all the attention would have stressed him out so much. Kibum stays engaged all the way through, though. And Taemin can tell how much his mum adores him. The asshole knows exactly how to be nice and charming in the right moments and it's so endearing, Taemin can't stop smiling.

His parents are returning to work after the holidays - his mum to her newly opened workshop in Diagon Alley and his dad to his Muggle job as an elementary school teacher - and Kibum and him are all too soon beginning to run out of exciting things to do. Yes, lazing around is nice and ignoring their responsibilities even nicer (although their unfinished assignments are bound to come bite them in the ass sooner rather than later, but Taemin oh-so conveniently chooses not to think about that for now). And they both hadn't minded sleeping large portions of the day away just because they could. But it's getting boring. Just a little. "I'm bored," Taemin makes his disdain known, a pout on his lips as he nudges Kibum's leg with his foot. They are spread out on Taemin's bed, their heads facing into opposite directions with Taemin lying with his head at the foot of his bed and Kibum sitting with his back against his bedrest. Kibum is knitting what looks like another one of many colourful socks while Taemin slips in and out of a light sleep. Knitting is a hobby Taemin would tease his friend about a whole lot more, if it wasn't so convenient. Because the comfiness of the socks is no joke and if he is extra nice, Kibum won't mind gifting them to him. "What do you want me to do about it?" Kibum looks entirely unimpressed as he glances up from his task for no more than a split second. "Entertain me?" Taemin suggests, but before Kibum can verbalise the disdain that is taking over his features, he is already speaking up again. "Ohh, I have a great idea," Taemin exclaims, jumping to his feet. He slips out the door only to return a few moments later, presenting Kibum with a bottle of dark blue, glittering liquid and two glasses. "We should try some of this," Taemin decides. "My dad usually has a glass after dinner," He nods to himself. He had wanted to try ever since he was little and sometimes his dad would allow him a tiny sip but never more. They aren't complete strangers to alcoholic beverages anymore, though - even if Butterbeer isn't exactly the epitome of hard alcohol - so Taemin figures it can't end too badly. They are responsible individuals, after all. And besides, "It's good for you." "Okay, fine. A glass won't hurt," Kibum shrugs, and Taemin is sure he must look like a fish with his mouth hanging open when Kibum agrees so easily. He had been certain Kibum would jump into one of his great soliloquies about the dangers of irresponsibility and how they haven't been raised to disobey (and blatantly disregard) rules at Hogwarts but he doesn't even bat an eyelash. It's kind of concerning. Taemin wonders if he is starting to rub off on his friend. But he can't say he minds if it means he will finally have Kibum go along with his ideas without a one hour long argument about the pros and cons for once. "You're not supposed to have more anyway. Look, it says right here on the bottle," Taemin points to the note of warning at the bottom of the label like he actually cares, bright red letters talking of all the various side effects caused by irresponsible consumption of the liquor.

Later, he swears he hears Kibum's voice reminding him 'Just one' as he makes to pour himself another glass, but the taste is too good and Kibum isn't particularly forceful in his efforts and Taemin can't bring himself to listen. How they ended up lying next to each other on the carpet in front of his bed, Taemin doesn't remember, though. The ceiling above them is spinning with the most exciting lights and colours and every time he tries to get up, he falls back over, his legs too shaky to support him. And maybe that's why they should have stopped after the first glass. Maybe that's why it's stated so explicitly on the bottle, with illustrations and capital letters and everything. But god, Taemin couldn't care less. Because the fuzzy feeling in the pit of his stomach is about the most amazing sensation he's felt in a while. Like a faint buzz of adrenaline, mixed with excitement over absolutely nothing but the existence of the world and the pretty shapes now floating all around them. "Bum, look, that's a nice shade of pink," Taemin points at the fluffy clouds hanging a couple feet above his head. They really should do this more, it's amazing. "All I see is stars," Kibum responds, the words reaching Taemin with multiple seconds of delay. "No pink?" The younger boy asks, his voice filled with disappointment. "Nope," Kibum shrugs and Taemin shakes his head in disapproval as he claims "I think you're just not looking hard enough." "Or maybe you need another glass," Taemin's eyes light up as he tries to get back to his feet, giggling uncontrollably, even as gravity keeps him down. "Definitely not," Kibum is quick to intervene, wrapping his arms around his middle to keep him from getting up. "And you don't either." "Kay, Mum," Taemin half-slurs, mostly unaffected by his friend's attempts to restrain him. He likes when Kibum is holding him tight like this - even if it's for no reason other than to stop him from doing something stupid. "I prefer you as a cat sometimes," Taemin declares as he lies down with Kibum halfway on top of him. "And why is that?" Taemin purses his lips in thought for a moment before deciding "You're more cuddly." "I got my head in your lap right now," Kibum deadpans. "Ohh yeah, you do," Taemin eyes widen, as if he is only now realising the position they are in. He is swamped with a wave of affection when Kibum snuggles a little closer for good measures, his hands weaving into the older boy's hair as he orders, "Keep it there." "I don't think I can move anyway," Kibum chuckles.

Waking up a good ten hours later to the worst headache of his life, Taemin groans and twists, almost rolling off the edge of his bed in the process. "Fuck," He clenches his teeth. "Fuck, my head hurts." "Good morning to you, too, love," Comes Kibum's response, and Taemin jumps a little, because he didn't expect his friend to be awake already. When he finally opens his eyes - a huge mistake, because dammit has the sun always been this bright? - he finds Kibum sitting with tousled hair and a book perched in his lap. "It's good for you," Kibum says, voice dripping with sarcasm. "May I remind you that those were your exact words?" Taemin can only guess that Kibum's head is pounding just as badly as his, because the sour twist to his lips speak of pure regret about all the choices he's made in his life so far. "Well, it was a fun night though, wasn't it?" Taemin insists even as he lies right back down when he finds his head spinning, because maybe it wasn't the greatest idea, he's going to give Kibum that. But his boredom had been cured and he got to cuddle with the older boy and it could have gone a whole lot worse. At least they didn't dare each other to yell 'I want Park Bo Geum to pee on me' out the window or race around the house naked or whatever absurd stuff Muggles do when they've had too much alcohol. "It was," Kibum agrees, his eyes shining as if he suddenly remembers something. "I like how much you praise me when your drunk," He tells him. "I should have counted all the times you professed your love to me last night." "Shut up," Taemin whines. Eleven times. That's how often he directed some variation of 'Bum, I really love you so much,' at him. Maybe even twelve, if 'I kind of hate you for always being so perfect and beautiful,' counts. He doesn't regret a single second of it, though. "I'm just teasing babe," Kibum assures and Taemin smiles, because God, he loves when Kibum calls him that. He still remembers how his chest had been filled to the brim with panic the first time Kibum had slipped in the endearment of 'babe' into a conversation. He had been too scared to comment on it back then, because Kibum had been so casual about it. Just as casual as he was about his touches. As if he didn't see anything strange about it at all. But then it happened a second time, and a third. And his discomfort only grew further the more frequent of an occurrence it became, no matter how hard he tried to be okay with it. So despite keeping silent (and gathering all his willpower to appear relaxed and unaffected on the outside) it didn't take long for Kibum to catch on and for the single question of "You don't like me calling you that, do you?" the older boy had asked one day, to transform into a long overdue conversation about all else Taemin had been battling with in his friend's presence. All the affectionate gestures and gentle smiles and fleeting (and not-so fleeting) touches he both enjoyed and didn't. "If it makes you uncomfortable all you have to do is tell me, you know? I won't do it again," Kibum had assured him, blunt and straightforward. Taemin didn't want him to misunderstand, though. "It's not that," He had hesitated for what felt like forever before daring to ask the careful question of "There is no…romantic intention behind it, is there?" His heart had pounded like crazy, the fear of his friend making fun of him or worse cutting into his chest like claws. He knew Kibum wasn't like that. He just wasn't. But it didn't help to ease his nerves. "Ohh," The older boy's face had lit up as if it was finally dawning on him what kind of implications could be lying behind a simple word like that. "I really love you a lot. But not like that," Kibum was quick to tell him, his usual sarcasm pushed aside in favour of sincerity. And Taemin still remembers how relieved he had felt, hearing Kibum's explanation. Because that's what he had been most afraid of. For his friend to be looking for something Taemin couldn't give him. All this time, he worried that every touch, every endearment, every kiss to his cheek was going to boil down to Kibum wanting to cross the boundaries of friendship. But hearing it from Kibum himself, how he wasn't intending to go down that path, made Taemin feel a whole new kind of comfortable with the older boy. And with all his different ways of showing affection, too. "Okay," Taemin nodded, the first hint of a smile having tugged at the corners of his lips as Kibum's words began to really sink in. "Are you sure?" His friend had asked, looking doubtful. "Yeah," Taemin confirmed, hoping to lift the tension a little with his addition of "You can call me babe all you want then. Or baby. Or whatever else floats your boat." Kibum hadn't looked convinced, still, even with Taemin insisting once more that it really was fine. But when Taemin didn't even falter the next time Kibum called him baby - frozen in place the second he realised he'd done it again, but calming down considerably when Taemin simply smiled at him - the older boy seemed to finally believe him. And he hadn't stopped since.

Sticking out his tongue at his friend, Taemin slips out of bed with the announcement of "Whatever, I'm taking a shower," and Kibum laughs until he can't breathe when he emerges from the bathroom a few minutes later - dripping wet and naked and whining about how he forgot his towel.

///

It's the first time in a long four weeks, that they are all getting the chance to have dinner together in the Great Hall; Taemin on the bench next to Kibum, and Jonghyun and Minho opposite of them. Jonghyun's hair is a bright pink again - brighter even, than the hundreds of candles hanging above their heads - freshly dyed and vibrant, but his expression doesn't match. And when Taemin's eyes wander to Minho, he finds a similar look on his face. It's unnerving. Taemin doesn't like it. But they naturally start talking about the Christmas holidays and their families and how they spent New Year's eve and Taemin has no idea how to bring it up without making it awkward. He isn't exactly the most tactful person, after all. It turns out he doesn't need to, however. Because as soon as there is a small pause in between their conversations, Minho announces "I need to tell you something," and Taemin finds himself straightening in his seat. "What is it?" Kibum asks, curious, but unfazed. And here he thought he was always the oblivious one. Jonghyun fidgets in his seat as if he already knows what's coming and Taemin wonders if it's all right to start worrying yet. He can't remember ever seeing either of his friends quite so tense and uncertain. "I got an offer to join the junior league of the national Quidditch team," Minho tells them in a rush, sucking in a deep breath before he adds "And I agreed." "But that's good, right?" Taemin asks when no one else does, soft and careful. It sure sounds good, but Minho's expression is still guarded and it makes no sense. Not until Minho adds, "It is. But it means I won't finish the school year." "I wasn't even supposed to come back after the New Year, actually. But I asked them for another month so I wouldn't just pack up my bags and disappear from school without at least saying goodbye." When there comes no reaction from any of them, Minho takes that as his cue to continue speaking as he adds "The initial contract is only for a year, but they're providing me with my own apartment. I already moved some of my stuff there and it's not the most spacious, but there is more than enough room for two people." Taemin chances a glance at Kibum, because he doesn't get where this is going and he needs to check if he is the only one. His friend's expression is unmoving like Taemin has never seen it before, though, and all it does is stress him out more. Maybe he really is the oblivious one because at this point he feels like they all know something he doesn't. "Two people as in…" Taemin provides. "Minho and I," Jonghyun speaks up for the first time, his gaze glued to his half-empty plate as if he can't bear to look at their faces right now. Kibum has been eerily silent throughout the entire conversation, but Taemin feels him tensing up next to him at Jonghyun's words. "What?" Taemin swears Kibum's face is drained of all its colour and he instinctively shifts closer to the older boy. "I know the school has tried hard to make the year bearable for me but I'm sick of it," Jonghyun confesses, eyes swimming with sadness. "I don't plan to ever work in the Wizarding world anyway, and even if I did, there are plenty of places to get into fine even with my O.W.L.s marks, so this is the best opportunity I could have asked for." "So you two are gonna move in together?" It's him who breaks the silence that follows, because he understands - knows that if it was him in Jonghyun's shoes, he would have cracked a long time ago, really. And he doesn't want Jonghyun to feel like he doesn't support his choice. "Yeah," Jonghyun nods, grateful, flashing Taemin the tiniest smile as he explains "At least until the situation for Muggleborns will become better." "But maybe finding a Muggle job in London will already help me keep my distance from any ill-willed wizards," He adds, more hopeful than Taemin has heard him sound in months. And Taemin doesn't care how much it sucks that this is what Jonghyun has to do to avoid being treated like shit, because there finally is a spark of light in the older boy's eyes again and that is all that matters. "Kibum," Jonghyun calls out his name as he turns to look at him and Taemin's hand lands on Kibum's thigh as he gives it an encouraging squeeze. Averting his eyes as soon as his friends' gazes lock in an attempt to give them a bit of privacy in a room full of students, he looks at Minho instead. And, after a moment of hesitation, sends him a smile, too. "Minho will keep me safe," He hears Jonghyun tell Kibum and Kibum leaves them all startled as he stands to lean across the table and places a quick kiss on Jonghyun's lips. "I know," He says, and then turns to Minho before reminding "Just be careful, yeah?" "Of course. Always," Minho promises.

///

It becomes a lot more difficult to catch Kibum in the weeks following New Year's eve. The date of his N.E.W.T.s is still months away, but their teachers make sure to pile one assignment after the next on the seventh graders. They don't hang out a lot, and if they do, their time is filled with exhausted silence and not much else. But sometimes Taemin stays down in the common room and reads Manga while Kibum studies. And sometimes Kibum sneaks into bed with him when Taemin is already fast asleep, and he finds himself waking up in the morning to the older boy's fur tickling his skin and it isn't much, but it means the world to him.

///

The first Quidditch game of the year and Minho's last ever game at Hogwarts is a match between Gryffindor and Slytherin. Taemin has already saved Kibum and himself a good spot amongst the students of Gryffindor to cheer on Minho for his Grande finale, but the dark clouds that have been covering the sky ever since yesterday evening are becoming more threatening by the moment and Taemin doesn't have a good feeling about this. The first hit of lightning strikes ten minutes before the start of the game and he is dripping wet before he can even think to retreat, shivering from the cold and deciding that he definitely isn't going to wait out in the rain any longer. It's only as he makes his way back to the Slytherin common room - his clothes sticking to his skin in ever place he can think of - that he wonders where Kibum is. He hadn't been anywhere near the Quidditch pitch, that Taemin is sure of. And they hadn't run into each other in the hallway yet, either. So he can't be far. If he has even stepped past the threshold to their common room in the first place, because that's where Taemin had last seen his friend, after all. "You're back already?" Comes Kibum's voice as soon as he rounds the corner to their beds and he finds Kibum surrounded by books and worksheets - and a bunch of his usual herbs that are supposed to spread some kind of subtle scent helping with concentration. "The game has been put on hold, I'm not sure if they will play at all today," Taemin tells him, shrugging off his cloak and stripping out of his wet clothes. "It's pouring outside." "Oh," Kibum says and it's only then that Taemin notices the wads of tissues thrown into the mix on his bed and the flatness of his voice. "Is everything okay?" He asks, instantly alert because Kibum never cries in public spaces. Granted, they are still the only ones in the dormitory, but Taemin is sure that's going to change before long. And Kibum is always uber-careful with these things. Slips into the nearest restroom or bites his lips raw and keeps it all inside (a tendency Jonghyun has scolded him about hundreds of times, because it's not healthy, apparently) or buries his face into his shoulder when they are sharing a bed at night and leaves wet patches all over Taemin's shirt. All of that, he is more than used to. But this? "Not really," Kibum answers and his eyes are brimming with tears just like that, the look of utter sadness in them cutting Taemin straight to the core. He hops into action entirely out of instinct, closing the curtains around Kibum's bed before guiding his wand through the air to keep out any curious eyes and ears. Taemin knows his protective spells aren't half as effective as Kibum's, but he hopes it's going to be enough for now. Most of their fellow Slytherins are probably still hanging around near the Quidditch pitch in case the game does happen after all, but he isn't going to risk having anyone barge in. Because it is rare for Kibum to be this vulnerable with him and the last thing he wants is to make him feel more uncomfortable than he already does. "What's wrong?" He asks, now clad in a too big shirt and pajama pants as he sinks down next to him, one arm slung around Kibum's shoulder. "You're freezing," Kibum complains, but he buries his face into his chest, still. His eyes are closed and his breath is shaking when he finally answers "They're really leaving aren't they?" and it takes Taemin a moment to understand who his friend is referring to. "And I'm stuck here cramming all this shit into my head only to forget everything by the next day." Taemin waits for him to say something more, but all Kibum does is sink his teeth into his lower lip as his tears start rolling and Taemin knows he can't expect him to keep talking. So he holds him tight until he is no longer trembling in his arms. "I mean, I'm still here. You know that, right?" Taemin tells him as he runs his fingers along Kibum's skin in an absent-minded manner. It's difficult, to have their two friends leave so suddenly. Taemin gets that. Especially because Kibum has spent such a large part of his life with them always around. But he had hoped it would lessen the blow just a little, that Kibum still had him right here. "I won't go anywhere," He promises. "I know," Kibum nods. "But it's not enough?" Taemin asks, and it isn't accusatory or disappointed, but Kibum looks at him like he had never heard him utter such outrageous words. "No, fuck. Don't even think like that, Lee Taemin," He scolds, shoving him none too gently and Taemin smiles because there is the Kibum he knows. "I'm just sad," Kibum shrugs, dragging the back of his hand over his eyes. "But it's gonna be okay. I'll be fine." "Jonghyun and Minho love you very much," Taemin makes sure to remind him, because he feels like Kibum loses sight of that sometimes. Gets so caught up worrying and stressing himself out that he forgets how much he means to them. "And you don't?" Kibum asks, but there is an edge of amusement to his voice. "Of course I love you, too." "I'm just teasing babe, I know you do," Kibum chuckles at the urgency in his voice, but Taemin can practically see him deflate at whatever thought crosses his mind next. "God, I hate feeling like this," Kibum sighs as he lets his head fall onto Taemin's shoulder. "I wish Jjong was here to suck me off or something," His voice still sounds a little shaky and his cheeks are damp and Taemin wants so badly to help. "You know I could-" He starts, because as long as Kibum won't want to touch him, too, he thinks that he could make it through well enough, but Kibum cuts him off before he can say anything more. "Absolutely not," He shakes his head, scolding "I don't ever want you to feel like you have to do anything like that to keep me around, okay?" "Okay," Taemin nods, more than a tiny bit relieved. "You could stay over here for the night, though?" Kibum offers, his hand searching for Taemin's under the duvet and Taemin nods "Sure." That he doesn't have a problem doing at all. Except a very tiny one, maybe. "But first: dinner," He exclaims, because sleeping much longer than necessary is great and all, but he needs his three meals a day to keep him happy. Kibum lets out a sound that is half protest and half exhaustion - a wordless question of 'Do I really have to?'. "Yes, you're absolutely coming, too," Taemin nods, leaving no room for protest.

"You'll do well," Taemin tells him later that night, his arms wrapped around Kibum's middle in what he hopes is a successful attempt at being reassuring. "Thanks," Kibum smiles, and when Taemin leans over to steal a quick kiss from his lips, Kibum lets him.

///

Kibum brings Jonghyun with him two nights later. 'Just one more time,' He had said, avoiding the word 'last' because he knew they would see each other again. And Taemin had joined them without prompting. They talk at first - about everything and nothing - but before long, there is only silence left as Jonghyun nuzzles into Taemin's shoulder and Kibum plays with his soft strands of pink hair. Taemin is just about to doze off when Jonghyun shifts and curls up even closer to him, a slight shiver running through his body. "Are you cold?" Kibum's voice sounds from the other side of the bed, his hand brushing against Taemin's arm as he reaches out for Jonghyun. "Just a little," Jonghyun whispers. "Come here," Kibum orders. And Taemin swears his two friends must he communicating through some kind of telepathic powers sometimes, because the sounds Jonghyun lets out in response it both desperate and hopeful. As if he has been waiting for Kibum to say the words all day. Locking eyes with him even as Kibum beckons Jonghyun closer and pulls him into his lap, Taemin is surprised to find his friend's gaze on him all the while. Taemin watches as Kibum sneaks one of his arms around Jonghyun's waist while the other one comes up to grab his chin, a teasing smirk on his lips. "Yeah?" He asks, and Jonghyun nods eagerly, but Kibum is waiting for Taemin to do the same before he pulls his boyfriend into a kiss. It is far from the first time that Taemin is seeing his friends kiss like this. Watches them all but melt into each other with their bodies moving in familiar ease and Jonghyun's lips following Kibum's lead every step of the way. But Taemin is awestruck by the sight over and over again. They are putting on a show, Kibum's hands slipping beneath the hem of Jonghyun's shirt to expose his bare skin and angling his head just right so Taemin gets a good view of their tongues tangling between them. And Taemin can't say he doesn't enjoy it. It's only when Jonghyun starts letting out one high pitched sound after the other that Taemin wonders if he should give them some space. "Bum," He calls out, so quiet, he is worried for a second, that his friend didn't hear him. "I can leave…" He offers and Kibum musters him for a second before asking, "But do you want to?" Taemin side-eyes Jonghyun for a moment, not sure if the older boy is even aware of their exchange with how far gone he already seems. Shaking his head 'no', Taemin hesitates for a moment, "I just…" "Yeah, okay," Kibum reaches for his hand to give it an encouraging squeeze before grabbing his wrist to guide him closer. And Taemin has no idea what's going to happen, but he trusts that Kibum understands. He knows his limits better than anyone. "Jonghyun," Kibum calls out, radiating authority, even though his next words are gentle. "Taeminnie and I are gonna take care of you, yeah?" He says and Jonghyun is suddenly hyper-aware, fixated on Kibum's face as if he is going to miss something vitally important if he looks away for just a second. "But only if you keep quiet," Kibum continues, and Jonghyun starts nodding even before Kibum has asked "Can you do that for us?" Pressing closer to Kibum with an insistent whisper of "Please," Jonghyun moves to reclaim his spot in Kibum's lap, but Kibum gestures to Taemin instead and Jonghyun seems quite happy with that idea, too. Spreading his thighs for the older boy to settle between them, Taemin makes Jonghyun lean back into him as Kibum grabs the hem of his own shirt to pull it over his head before doing the same to Jonghyun's. Everything that happens after is a blur of Taemin kissing Jonghyun's neck - alternating between carding his hands through his hair and pulling hard to keep the older boy in place - while Kibum touches him through his boxer shorts. And the next thing Taemin knows, Jonghyun is tensing up between them as he comes, soft moans spilling from his lips because Kibum ordered him to 'Stop making so much noise, you don't want the whole dorm to hear, do you?' It's beautiful and Taemin can't tear his eyes away even once it's over and Jonghyun is heavy in his arms, sinking back against him as his breathing starts calming down little by little. "You're so cute Jjong," Kibum says, and Taemin smiles when Jonghyun lets out a small whine, hands coming up to cover his face. Very cute indeed. "Are you feeling okay?" Kibum turns to look at him and Taemin nods. Sometimes he doesn't. Sometimes he can hardly look at Kibum afterwards, and it makes him feel terrible every time, because it is never out of regret. Instead he is overwhelmed, plain and simple. But today, he's fine. More than. "Still cold, though," Jonghyun pipes up and they both laugh in response. "What are you waiting for then? Just come back here." They fall asleep curled up into each other, Kibum keeping Jonghyun warm and Taemin holding his hand and Taemin is sure he isn't the only one feeling infinitely safe and happy right now.

///

Once they have dropped Minho and Jonghyun off at the train station and watched the train disappear in the distance, the rest of the school year seems to go by in a flash. Kibum graduates with flying colours - of course he does, Taemin knew he'd do well - and before they know, the last week has come along and farewell is imminent all over again. Only this time, Taemin will be left behind completely by himself. It's odd, though, because he is sad, sure. But it's okay. He thought he would be devastated - dread the day months in advance and lose hours upon hours of sleep over the approaching separation. And yet he is nothing but calm, now that it is actually happening. Because he loves Kibum more than anything in the world and he won't get rid of him that easily. So when Kibum mumbles, "I don't want to leave," as they lie next to each other in Taemin's bed, it is the first time he chooses not to respond with 'I don't want you to leave, either.' Instead, he says "I'll come visit you, I promise," his hand finding Kibum's. Because he will. He will travel all the way across the world to see Kibum if that's what it takes. "You better," Kibum tells him, getting ready to poke his tummy, but retreating the moment Taemin lets out a squeal of protest, hands coming up to shield himself. "Right, I forgot," Kibum laughs, "not a good idea." "Just hug me or something, why won't people leave my tummy alone?" Taemin complains, but he is glad Kibum doesn't find enjoyment in his reaction the way others - Minho - do. Because God does he hate that. It's nothing else but plain rude to keep aiming one's jabbing fingers into the general direction of his lower abdomen just to hear him screech like a madman. "Sorry baby," Kibum apologises without looking very sorry at all. But he gathers Taemin in his arms, still, and Taemin loves cuddling with Kibum too much to complain. "I really don't want to leave," Kibum sighs, his face buried in Taemin's mob of dark hair. Taemin is glad Kibum isn't a cat right now, because he would be scared to crush him with how tightly he is holding onto him. They won't be separated for another two days and back in London, their homes aren't too far from one another either. An hour bus ride and a few minutes of walking at most. But Taemin has become so used to having Kibum by his side during the past two years, the thought of being separated for such a long time seems surreal. He trusts that they can make it work, though. They have to.

part 2 (coming soon)

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