#starkid incorrect quotes

[petes-5yr-cocoa]

families with,,, varying levels of functionality

just the kids

[snap-crackle-n-stop]

Max Jagerman as incorrect quotes

[rentumblsstuff]

NPMD!Steph: I asked Pete to Pasquali’s on the first date.

AC!Steph: I asked Pete to shower with me.

YJ!Steph: Who the fuck is Pete and why are we thirsty for him? Get a grip, ladies.

NPMD!Steph: Okay, okay, imagine the biggest nerd you can think of?

YJ!Steph: Oh the bow tie kid.

NPMD!Steph: That’s him.

AC!Steph: But then also like make him funny and sarcastic.

NPMD!Steph: Yeah! And sweet.

AC!Steph: And weirdly sexy and secretly jacked and you just kinda wanna break his brain so that the only thing he can think about is pinning you to the wall of the shower even though it’s nasty, so-

NPMD!Steph: Wait the other one is right. Get a grip. Please.

AC!Steph: *shaking* I’ve been stuck at Camp Idontwannabang for a month and he’s the only sane one here other than me. There’s only one thing I’m trying to ‘get a grip’ on around here, and it’s down the shorts that his ‘Virginity Rocks!’ camp tee is tucked into.

——

AC!Peter: I broke my leg trying to improvise a weapon to protect Steph and myself.

NPMD!Peter: I almost sacrificed my life for Steph!

TGWDLM!Peter: I STILL HAVEN’T GOTTEN MY HOT CHOCOLATE.

AC!Peter and NPMD!Peter: NEITHER HAVE WE!

TGWDLM!Peter: Also who is Steph and why are we willing to hurt ourselves for her?

AC!Peter and NPMD!Peter: *OFFENDED GASP*

AC!Peter: Imagine you have really low blood sugar and all you have to fix it is fuckin’ raisins… And Steph gives you a chocolate bar. Relief, finally, you can think straight for what feels like the first time in your life. That’s Stephanie.

NPMD!Peter: Imagine an eldritch god tells you that you have to give up what you treasure above all else and you suddenly realize in the worst way possible that your Pokémon cards and comic collection mean nothing to you in comparison, and as weirdly slimy and wiggly fingers brush the hair from your neck, you realize that the girl who’s suddenly become the most important person or thing in your life thinks of you the exact same way and that one of you has to die before you’ve even worked up the nerve to admit to the coolest girl you’ve ever met how you feel. That’s Stephanie.

AC!Peter: … Are you okay?

NPMD!Pete: Better than that guy’s doing.

BF!Pete: I watched a man get kicked in the head until he died… I can still see the bomb falling through the air as I spent my last moments alive with my big brother…

——

NPMD!Grace: I can explain!

AC!Grace: YOU HAD A SEXUAL FANTASY?!

PB!Grace: NASTY!! JAIL FOR YOU.

AC!Grace: HELL EVEN.

NPMD!Grace: Wait, no no no! It’s okay, I killed the guy it was about!

AC!Grace: You better have!

NPMD!Grace: But then he came back to life and I had to sacrifice my chastity to send him back, so we had sex in the middle of a football field and five evil gods dragged him to Hell! Also by the way, Jesus isn’t real and it’s up to us to cleanse the earth of all perverts for our new gods, the Lords in Black!

AC!Grace and PB!Grace: …………… WHAT THE FU-

[theriga6-6]

[veslingr]

Max: There's a difference between intent and impact, and I INTEND to IMPACT your life...

Richie: oh

Max: negatively

Richie: oh no

[bwaybby09]

Steph: There are way more things I hate about Pete than like about him. His stupid Clark Kent glasses, his extensive turtleneck collection.

And he loves ethics so much. He once talked about John Rawls for two hours... I timed it. And he only stopped because he saw me timing him.

Granted, he laughed, and kind of made fun of himself, it was a nice moment, but still.

He always twitches his eyebrows when he says "absolutism," and he tilts his head whenever I say anything ignorant, but he never makes fun of me, which is nice.

He's also incredibly patient, and kind, and surprisingly jacked, and, oh, fuck, I'm in love with Pete!

[starkidzephyrus]

Hehe.. Feeling like I need to put Spies Are Forever incorrect quotes here now. (And Hatchetfield too..)

Owen: There's no way he likes me back. Tatiana: Curt would throw himself in front of a moving car for you. Owen: Curt would throw himself in front of a moving car for fun.

[starkidblubber]

Richie: Do you ever feel like exploding? Have you experienced the urge to enter the process of combustion? Has your mind created a logical idea, known as thought, to disperse your body into thousands of particles suddenly? 
Paul: It’s 3 am, please go back to sleep.

[caleohateclub]

[Ruth watches as Lautski have a musical confession love confession at a beanies instead of like… realising she’s dead… and grieving]

Ruth (Bisexual, Dead, and Sad): What- *sniffle* the fuck. are. they. doing.

Richie (Cannot pat her since they are… well… ghosts): Oh it’s fine, Ruth… your singing was just as good as theirs…

[inkwell-illustrations]

Julia: What are you doing in my house?! What are you doing in my house?! Pokotho: I want waffle fries!

[majorlysapphic]

Zazzalil: Jemilla's playing hard to get.

Zazzalil: Little does she know, I'm a master at playing hard to get rid of.

[petes-5yr-cocoa]

[garfieldonamonday]

Harry: Where's Ron, Hermione, and Draco?

Ginny: They're playing hide and seek.

Harry: Where?

Ginny: I don't think you get how this game works.

[rentumblsstuff]

[misterpseudonym]

[incorrecthatchetfield]

Incorrect Nerdy Prudes Must Die 5/?, but it's the lords in black being so gender