#start the new year fresh and all
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starting smoking: hoho hehe, lil head rush!!
trying to quit: why do I want to Stab Everyone
#soph rambles#vent#smoking#ur girl is tryin to get off of all the substances tm#start the new year fresh and all#I was sitting at work today wondering why I was so cranky and can’t focus#and realized ooo#I haven’t drank or had weed in a few days#and I’m also lowering the nic on my vape to try and quit#anyway I also spilled my coffee I am ready for this day to be over lmao#don’t do drugs kids#drugs are fun#quitting ain’t lol
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If there is one thing I'm learning right now it's that math academia is a small world.
#first there were several people in the summer school who I had about one degree of seperation with#now I got an email from my uni sent out to all new phd students#so i took a look at the other names out of curiousity and had an 'oh shit i know you!' moment#which. i feel kind of weird about tbh despite the fact that she's perfectly cool and has never been anything but nice to me#there is just the inherent awkwardness of constantly running into someone you kinda know but not that well#if i had my way every time i entered a new unfamiliar environment it would be a complete fresh start with no one allowed#to recognise me from anywhere#*certainly* not from the undergrad years i'd rather pretend never happened#this feels. just a tiny bit claustrophobic?#but hey maybe it'll be great and we'll actually be friends this time around instead of vaguely in each others orbits#academiaposting
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pls i need to provide updates
#basically yesterday night was chaharshanbe suri . which is a solar new yr tradition where we let go of the past suffering in our year#and like...start the new yr w fresh vigour . anyway so my friend was at the event and we were abt to leap over the fire#and she was like bro im im glad u blocked her (situationship) etc etc . and then. my phone started vibrating. and i look at it. and my f#friend looks at it. and its her. and were both like what the fuck?? i blocked her things r Over and anyway so i pick up the phone and shesl#acting like nothing happened (bc nothing DID happen for her) and she was like ohh ur doing chaharshanbe suri im not doing anything etc what#are ur new yr plans so i jusr .IDK WHY I DID THIS . but ig i didnt wanna come off as like lonely i said probably hanging out w family and#friends maybe reading poetry together . et cetera and she was like wait that sounds so fun why didnt u invite me!#LIKE WDYM YOUVE BEEN CONSISTENTLY MAKING IT CLEAR U DONT WANT TO BE IN MY PRESENCE . and i told her that after#everything i thought she didnt want to see me again and she was like you always think that 😐 . like. ?? ok anyway so she expects me to#invite her . and like. there is an above 0% but sub-5% chance she will actually show up . but the panic that gripped me#i started making calls to my friends asking them if they can come on the 23rd bc there must be an event and also i asked my mother#and she said actually yeah i am doing a thing on the 23rd :D it involves over 16 ppl (we live in a v small flat) of which like...7 are kids#so you wont have space to be in ur own room let alone invite others. which tbh like ...being around a bunch of loud kids doesnt seem fun fo#any of my friends or me etc so i thought maybe i should arrange things so that we all go out together and if she shows up she shows up 🤷♀️#but . im so. WHY DID I SAY THAT . i had to panic-call my research partner and ask him to get from oxf to where i live on the 23rd#and when he heard the explanation he like. the light in his voice disappeared 💀 but he potentially agreed so idk#THE ISSUE IS. 23rd im supposed to also have . a date#w this girl that i had a huge crush on when i was 15-16 (posted abt this b4 but id get shitty black coffee in the mornings just to spend a#few more minuted w her each day and she was the cleverest girl in school and she cared abt nothing but her academics but now shes very gay#scraggly homosexual etc etc shes cute) and YEAH IDK#like id have to go there on the date come back fast meet ppl POTENTIALLY (again under 5%) meet situationship girl#like is that even doable#but the thing is it would be so so so funny bc all of my friends dislike her sooo much#.........what if i invited the girl im supposed to have a date w over to hang out w us#god that would be so hilarious and chaotic . i wont do it tho im a mature person x#but it would be soooo funny#I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT DUE TMRW 12:30PM IT IS 10:49PM RN I HAVENT STARTED IT bc i was rotting sadly in bed#popped a ritalin pill tho so here we go x#i have found myself in a state of such sheer agony and rage and sorrow and grief over this girl that atp i feel like#its just so entertaining . like i feel vaguely over it? ik nothing will come of it so its like just . have fun . vibe
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grayson went downstairs for a late-night bowl of cereal & heard water splashing in the basement (which has been flooding with distressing frequency). they looked and spotted the new water heater's condensation pump IN THE ACT of gushing gallons and gallons of water all over the floor!!
they called for me, i ran downstairs in my underwear (just having showered like ten minutes earlier). i tbh sort of wrench the pump into a 5-gal tub (which it RAPIDLY starts filling) to give us time to diagnose the problem. this is not helped by there being like 4 tubes/pipes plumbed into/out of this thing.
i try to pick it up to get a better look at what it's doing and it feels like it buzzes weirdly on my fingers or maybe hand? so i drop it back in the tub (mostly submerged) and try again. same thing. grayson tries it, same thing. i'm like oh shit where did those LOOSE WIRES ON THE PUMP COME FROM OH MY GOD WE'RE STANDING IN AN INCH OF WATER AND I THINK WE JUST GOT SHOCKED. we both get the hell out of the water, i shut off the power to the water heater & go back to try again (grayson has heart disease! do not want them taking any risks w/ electricity!), get zapped AGAIN. i realize the pump is plugged into an outlet on a different circuit and unplug it (by the cord) (in hindsight should've turned off the whole circuit).
the pump stops pumping & i can move it to a new bucket (good! the old one is now overflowing) but it is still gushing water. grayson realizes our Mysterious Whole-House Filter Of Unknown Custom Design is in the middle of its flush cycle so we shut it off. and the water stops. we turn the spigots to bypass the filter so it won't do that again, hopefully.
turns out when the water heater installers put the condenser pump in, they (for some reason) routed the filter flush outflow pipe down through it, then out to the main outflow pipe using the condenser pump. but the flush cycle has such high flow rate that it absolutely overwhelmed the tiny little condenser pump and just poured out of every opening in it. so. i'm annoyed. this didn't need to happen.
#keeping it fun and funky fresh#personal#our house in the middle of our street#to be fair i had NO idea that the flush cycle was that intense#i mean good lord.#but they should've plumbed the condenser pump outflow into the main outflow separately#instead they ''unplugged'' the flush pipe and ''plugged in'' the condenser pump outflow pipe where it had been#just a teeeeeny little cut corner that has made the last week EXTRAORDINARILY DIFFICULT#that being said all this is good news#the flooding had started happening more & we now know at least the most recent of it is bc of this which shouldn't be hard to fix#but. it had also flooded at least twice this year before the new water heater. so.#a basement waterproofing estimator came earlier today and it wasn't a great experience. not to mention $$$$
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The Talk (page 4)
Doodler AU post || start || previous || next ||
Sparrow’s turn to go “he just like me fr” with the Doodler. All the Oaks r Doodler kinnies 😤
This comic takes place shortly after the Doodler’s homunculus body was made. Lark and Sparrow try to figure out how they feel about the situation.
Dialogue under the cut!
Sparrow: Lark, what did they say?
Lark: …
Lark: It wants to try having a normal human childhood.
Sparrow: oh.
Lark: It’s not going to work. The world doesn’t work that way.
Sparrow: …Well why not?
#dndads#dungons and daddies#dungeons and daddies season 2#dndads s2#sparrow oak#lark oak#the doodler#doodle dot au#cal draws#thetalkcomic#I’m putting this out there before the new episode drops 😭#i hope my characterization works lmao idk if I’ve been getting across what I want with lark and sparrow#my thought process is that lark seems to be very focused on like… self punishing#well both the twins are in s2 I think but the way Lark goes about it is very physical while Sparrow is mental#Lark dedicates practically his whole life to killing the doodler as both a form of mercy and attonent#he sees a lot of himself in the Doodler and for Lark there’s no escaping that self hatred from you past actions#and so he doesn’t think it’s possible to start fresh and anew because he can’t comprehend forgiving yourself#or like forgiveness in general I think#But the Doodler is changed here. they’re not the same being Lark saw into the mind of all those years ago#and Lark is like. now being confronted with the idea that someone who’s like him can try to forgive themselves and seek happiness anyways#while Sparrow doesn’t have the same insight into what the Doodler is or what it’s like as Lark and Normal do#so he has these conflicting stories from two very important people in his life and he’s just not sure what to make of it#but dad brain is dad brain and right now Dot looks A LOT like Hero and Normal when they were younger#so logically he knows he should be wary but like it’s hard to stay fearful mad and upset at someone who looks like ur 8 ur old kid#so he’s been playing mediator while he tries to figure the situation out#but the additional info that Dot also has a want for normalcy like he does tips the scales a little bit I think#if that makes any sense lol
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i miss her…
#cant believe i forgot about her till the photobook q&a im so sorry witch mona~~~~~~~#press f for honeypre atelier gachas it was gone too soon™️#(currently e x t r e m e l y worried and stressed for tomorrow like never before b u t i have to appear like im fine sobs save me monachann)#(can i go on a stress-prompted tangent here about something inane? no? toooo bad im gonna go off anyway~~~~)#ok so. like. since witch mona is the image i have up ‘ere and since it’s still 七月… today’s tangent will be on irl spooky stories!!#s o. presenting a decently repressed memory from my childhood that resurfaced while i was hibernating at home:#anyways. well. thoughts about the afterlife can vary from person to person yes? there’s no one true correct belief after all#but the one question that unites us all is probably the one and only ‘are ghosts real?’#and well. for personal reasons i think so. i mean i’ve seen this one dude i hate get possessed a couple of times so welp. cant deny it ig.#wild story about that actually. back in the day my family’s finances were allegedly doing so badly that [dude i hate] had to pick up#a *c e r t a i n* side hustle for extra cash. that side hustle? literal grave digging at the cemetary. at night no less#and *ofc* he wasn’t respectful about it in the least so ofc some spirits followed him home. yay. free roommates.#one(?) of them even took residence in my room at the time and im 80% sure they ate my history textbook :( much sads#anyways well once that guy had too much to drink (which was rather often tbh) he’d get possessed. fun!#the only possession i ever saw was the n-rarity angry ghost who’d just huff and puff in silence with unfocused eyes most of the time#he’d occasionally put on a leather jacket too. but that was like a r-rarity event that didn’t happen that often#my mother had the chance to also witness the mosquito (who tried to barge into my room for fresh blood) and the 姑娘 (self-explanatory)#which is kinda unfair tbh. i wanted to see the ur-rarity ones too :( mostly bc it’d be funny to see a guy i hate act ooc (impure intentions)#oh right. how did we get the dude out of his possession? we just shook his arm really hard. prolly caused some lasting effects but who know#i think he could also just sleep off the possession but idk i was asleep for the ur-rarity incidents.#cant ask the one witness of it bc i dont want to bring back unnecessary flashbacks of [guy we hate]#anyways it’s been years since we moved out from that place and i still want my history textbook back. mostly for the principle of it but—#and so that’s the tangent of the day. i feel weirdly less stressed now thanks witch mona#i do wonder how my grandparents are faring on this 七月 though…#b u t !!!!! tomorrow’s date on the lunar calendar says it’s an auspicious day for wishful activity and starting a new job!!! so… maybe~~~~?#hauauauauauauauuauaaaaaa anyways insane tangent over stream mona’s new album ok bye#oops forgor to disable rbs i hate how easy it is to forget to use this function man
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Papi, are you alive? Thunderbolts trailer leaked and we got Hailee back from the dead (and there's the movie with Andrew and Florence and its KYAU coded as fuck) Kate and Yelena content galor this week. PLEASE COME BACK. We've been deprived for a year. It's been jail for too long. Grace us with Kate x Yelena content again. Pretty please.
*taps mic* Is this thing on?
#i don't even know what compelled me to open this again tonight but this is a funny message to get today#man it really has been two weeks short of a year#hi#life has been.........interesting lol#and yes#I have seen all of the kate x yelena content and if you don't think I have fifteen million new AUs in my head in a year you don't know me#also like 59 new clexa AUs#my brain is my brain#just because I wasn't here doesn't mean writing wasn't gettimg done#man WHAT A YEAR lol#but I'm glad y'all even care what I have to say about anything lol#I got an email a few weeks about that this blog turned 18#like a 'happy birthday to your blog' or some shit tumbrl email#and nothing has ever made me feel older#this blog is old enough to vote lmao#and I had a tumble before I just deleted and started fresh#I've been on this hellsite too long#anyway...Papi has been through Some Shit#some GOOD some almost legit killed me#the last four months have been...SOMETHING#but I'm here I'm gay and I've never stopped coming up with AUs#for clexa or bishova#I was just...doing life#rants#anonymous#answers
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question: how did you discover/get into scooby doo?
this is something i'm always so interested to hear, being that there are few people who don't have at least some small tie to the franchise. whether you would consider it one of your biggest current interests or it's just something nostalgic from your childhood, i'd love to know how you found scooby and what it means to you!
#for me it was my dad! he grew up with the original show and wanted to introduce it to me#so one day when i was maybe? seven?? he came home with the winter wonderdog dvd and we watched it that night#from there we watched every single scooby doo movie that had ever been made#and got the new ones as they came out in subsequent years!#watching a new scooby movie with my dad every weekend are honestly some of my favourite childhood memories#also what's new scooby doo had also started airing on one of the main cartoon channels here in the uk around 2010#so that's the show i watched the most consistently as a kid#velma was my original favourite of the gang because i looked a lot like her (big glasses/same haircut/etc.)#people would always compare me to her and it genuinely gave me a lot of confidence in my appearance that stays with me to this day#but fred was always my firm second favourite - he made me laugh the most of any character#and took on a deeper meaning to me in my adolescence when i realised i was autistic and strongly identified with his portrayals as such#the characters are probably what's kept me coming back all this time - they've been with me forever#and i love them individually + as a team who support each other with their unique skills and love for one another#but also the wacky adventures and general aesthetic#many people joke about the basic plot being the same every time but it makes my autistic brain happy#i love permanence and consistency baby!!!!!#and the different variations on that same formula always keep things fresh and fun#anyway ramble over#looking forward to hearing you guys' responses! :D#scooby doo#nem misc posts :]
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i just think its so healthy for your tumblr dash to show you things you find a little baffling every now and then. just to remind you that people out there live lives and think thoughts that -- far from being unfathombly opposite -- are just sideways enough from yours that you never realized this was a blind spot in your concept of the world. and their lives and their interests will sail past yours never touching it never affecting it, and youll just see it from afar and go "huh.... wild."
anyway this is about how every now and again mclennon is referenced on my dash and i gain 10 temp hp every time.
#the sheer sincerity in it. the boyband rpf of it all combined with half the ship being dead for 44 years.#the beatles having started fully 64 years ago but this ship cropped up seemingly overnight for me like it's the Hot New Thing#its like a hard reset for me. cold water to the face and i see the world with fresh eyes again#i dont understand you but i love you#i wont put this in their main tag#its not like this post is destined for notes i just had some Feelings tonight#my stuff#mclennon#thoughts on things#tumblr
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I am going to be so fuckign productive today
#i just rearranged my commission income spreadsheet for tax season and i have 10 owed comms left my stomach hurts#why did i take on so much?!?!?#anyways the only thing to do is chip away at them one at a time#honestly the good news is that i don’t feel like i need to reach out and cancel any of them#at most I’ll get 5 done this month and 5 done next month and I’ll take march off and have a fresh start by April#if i do more this year at all tbh#cuz it’s a writing year so it might not be a comm year at all after Feb#we shall see
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#my daughter is turning one today and i quite literally can't process how fast this year came and went#looked at pictures of her throughout this year and it's just crazy#this year was so stressful due to hospital stays surgery family drama and last but not least the R+ disaster#i know that 2023 is still not over but overall i hope that the new year in my daughter's life will bring some peace and relaxation#because she needs it need it just a normal baby year which so many experienced around us but we didn't#I'm just glad she's happy and healthy now#so this birthday today is of course a milestone but also a maybe new fresh start for a lot of things#i know i should be so focused on this but i just hope for no more hospital stays a healthy baby and R+ tickets#that's all i want and need
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ok but i love the idea that the being is just an omnipotent small child thats playing a fun game, and simply doesnt comprehend the things its causing... im always a sucker for stuff like that
#.txt#darkwood#i used to have a furry oc universe where the universe itself was basically a child playing a game#n everytime it got bored the universe would just die n start again. akin to a child getting bored of a game n starting a fresh save file#but there were gods who were essentially doomed to go thru every new universe n the billions of years that each universe lasted#n no one could communicate with the universe itself they were just aware of how it worked bc of all the resets#watching darkwood longplays just made me think abt revisiting that concept jhjh
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...
#hello to anyone who happens to b interested in the saga of my life... also maybe the irl person i gave my url to... hopefully my blog#didnt freak her out too much lol. anyway so its been a busy week? 2 weeks? month? year? life? its been a lot. my parents helped me move#across the country from the desert to somewhere that's beautiful and green. my dad is so jealous of me lol its so so so pretty and theres s#so much to do. will i do any of it? that remains to be seen but im gonna try to be better about that sort of thing. try to get some help#with the thoughts in my head that keep me from doing and enjoying most things. its weird like im decorating my new room which i love. the#location and living situation seem ideal and i really hope i can stay here all 5 years of my program but i was picking a lot of bright#colors and now it feel uncomfortable. like if i wear things that r too bright or my room is too bright without dark contrast it feel weird#like if im wearing it it kinda makes me feel sick. idk what thats abt. anyway. ill try to heal my brain and im just so happy to b out of the#southwest. i was so so so excited when we were leaving thr city and even more so when we left the state. i cant believe im here. in December#it felt like a million years away and i really truely could not fathom how i was gonna survive that long. my thoughts were so distorted. but#i did and here i am. and in like a month i should b starting my phd program and my parents were telling me how excited ppl r for me and#jealous of where im living and im glad. im glad they're excited. i think i am too but its under a layer of: if i get excited it wont happen#im not allowed to b excited or it wont happen. which is irrational but ya kno. anyway so that's yeah. im so happy to have a fresh start and#the town seems super cool. a liberal blip in a sea of... not that so theyre very visibly pride forward haha and i think itll b way easier#for me to get around without driving. and im gonna try to make friends. i need someone to tell me where to get tattoos haha. so yea im happy#but exhausted and i dont wanna go back to work and so so greatful to my parents for being wonderful ppl idk how bc both of them had fucked#up childhoods. like my mum will say the saddest shit and im like bro this is y i don't wanna talk to my grandma fuck her and my dads parents#r so fucked. like my nana is the reason im so fucking control freaked out but i kno i have issues and she has no insight and thinks shes#better than everyone. anyway hopefully i can get back to drawing a posting more now. ive been drawing it its been in a sketch book#like an actual sketch book for sketching big ideas thst r gonna take fucking forever to draw 😭#so that's all. just uprooted my whole life. thats all. but in a good way :-]#unrelated
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NEW NEW LINKIN PARK MUSIC
NEW NEW LINKIN PARK MUSIC
NEVER WOULD HAVE THAT THEY WOULD PUT OUT NEW SINGLE IN PREPARATION FOR A NEW ALBUM IN NOVEMBER
IF YOU CANNOT TELL I AM SUPER HAPPY
that is all and I go back into hiatus .w.
#listen Linkin Park is my favorite band of all time and I grew up with their music#I love ALL their albums especially ones that a good majority dislike#never in a million years did I think I would hear new music from them#like new NEW music that isn't stuff they kept in their vault#like NEW MUSIC WITH A NEW VOCALIST WITH A FRESH NEW START#I AM BEYOND HAPPY
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90% chance I'm swapping out my url when I get home from work today...
#or even on my lunch break...#the 10% is because I'm too attached to my secret little compass joke#and also the url I've had for YEARS#but fresh start? something new?#break my heart and also the heart of everyone who knows cam's canon on a daily basis?#all very very tempting...
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playing ff.xiv blind as a th.ancred fan from the beginning is so funny. “hmm i wonder where than is- WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE WAS POSSESSED BY ONE OF THE MOST POWERFUL BEINGS IN THE UNIVERSE….....” “hmm i wonder what happened to than after he was teleported from the- HIS ABILITY TO INTERACT WITH THE NATURAL ENERGY OF THE WORLD WAS SEVERED AND HE HAD TO FEND FOR HIMSELF FOR MONTHS IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE????” “yaay than gets to help us with planning our defenses :D- DID HE JUST DIEoh he’s not dead his soul was just RIPPED AWAY TO ANOTJEJR WORLD????!?!?” “ohh he gets to fight r.yne’s awful guardian figure i wonder what he’s gonna- DID HE JUST DIEoh he’s fine nevermind he gets to have resolved character development now :)” “aww okay we get to go to the end of the universe together, and he’s already gone through so much so clearly nothing bad will happen to hDID HE J
#lem text#🌊#xivposting#he never ever ever ever gets a break it’s so funny. i’m sure the game is done messing with him now for dt but AGJFNWZKR#literally as SOON as the i.frit fight happens in arr he never gets to rest until the end of shb.#like okaayyy *overworks self to the point of aetheric vulnerability or whatever -> is used as a tool for bringing about a terrible calamity#-> teleported to the wilderness never able to use magic again or interact with the world normally; unsure if friends are alive for months#-> learns that sister-figure is missing and then learns that she is basically dead -> angst arc while trying to hide all of problems#-> thinks he gets a chance to rest and is literally yoinked from his world on accident with nothing he can do about it;#forced to adapt to a whole other planet overflowing with its own tragedies with no way of contacting anyone he knows#-> discovers that sister-figure has been basically reincarnated; takes on responsibility to save her#-> manages to do so after TWO YEARS but still hasn’t gotten over grief -> has to be a parent on the run with daughter-figure now#-> waiting as random stranger tries & fails to summon the hero from his world; evading government in a land only a fraction the size of his#-> spends THREE MORE YEARS running from authorities with daughter who reminds him too much of sister-figure; is still hiding all problems#-> can only solve his problems by almost dying; apparently. does so. life becomes good until he decides he has to almost die again#-> DOES SO. and then life becomes good again. problems mayhap still not processed. average th.ancred waters lifestyle#i think his story has a big theme of like. lack of agency; and i could talk more about it but i just think it’s really interesting and sad-#that his whole childhood (limsa+sharlayan) was out of his control with his life path being chosen for him out of necessity+circumstance#he was brought to sharlayan so young and then The Incident happens at *17* indebting him to min.filia bc he sees himself responsible#and then gigantic life-changing things happen to him *also* out of his control (hinterlands+the first)#and when he finally gets to pick a long-term route for himself he fucks it up! doing everything intentionally but hurting r.yne for years!#he’s the FIRST ONE SUMMONED TO THE FIRST… A NEW WORLD… IT WAS LIKE A FRESH START… AND AUGJF HDH . IDK DO YOU GET IT.#i haven’t written this many tags in forever i guess i have to put it in the:#lem ramblings#ok i’m done. thancrebbbbbdd <3. goodnight <3.
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