#I haven’t drank or had weed in a few days

[cardboard-queen]

starting smoking: hoho hehe, lil head rush!!

trying to quit: why do I want to Stab Everyone

[canthelpit0]

Heartless

Pairing: Chris x reader

Wordcount: 3k+

Summary: Chris used to drink back in high school. And now being rich and in his early 20s he started back up again.

Warnings: angst (if u squint), relapse, drinking, alcohol addiction, weed, mentioned drugs, slight use of y/n, Chris pov, (slight) unreliable narrator, model!reader, no smut, kissing

(A/N: possible ooc. I don’t do drugs, so I don’t know how realistic this is.)

Chris PoV

I feel dizzy.

But I love it, I love this.

I take another sip of my solo cup looking at all the people.

Back in high school I used to drink and smoke, and I even did some drugs at some point. But I had stopped after high school, after all, I thought that I could let loose and have fun, but that after high school that I’d start working.

Having been partying and drinking for my junior and senior year, staying sober for over two days was hard, but in the end I’d managed to stay sober for a whole year.

I wasn’t even the legal age to drink yet anyway.

I started smoking occasionally though, just to hold me off from alcohol.

Somehow we managed to become famous YouTubers, moving out to LA and living our dreams.

But being in LA meant getting invited to all sorts of parties. We usually just said no and that we wouldn’t go, mainly because of my past habits. But after a while our manager started to force us to, to make connections.

However being so close to alcohol, and being offered drinks and blunts all the time was fucking with me.

I started to smoke more, going from around one cigarette every two days to five a day.

It was a common fact that I’m a smoker in our fanbase. And I wasn’t proud of it. It is disgusting. But I would rather do that, before relapse back into my drinking habits. That’s at least what I told myself.

I started to unconsciously get colder towards Nick and Matt. I couldn’t help it.

So when an influencer texted me inviting me to some party, I agreed. I snuck out of the house at night, walked around the corner to the gas station, got an Uber and went to the party.

I put my phone on silent, turned off all trackers and snap map, as well as put it on airplane mode just to be sure.

But deep down I always knew that at the end of the day, if I do manage to get home without Matt’s help, I’ll still be drunk, they’ll know I relapsed.

But at this moment, it doesn’t matter. All that matters is getting drunk tonight.

This is the second drink I’ve had tonight. And I wasn’t even close to tipsy. Maybe I should play some drinking game?

I shrug to myself scanning the crowd of people. All people with faces that look like influencers. If that even makes sense. They just look like they do TikTok.

I shrug to myself. I glance over at the window to the backyard porch, seeing the backs of a few girls sitting there. I can’t see their faces and I don’t care to.

I look down at my drink, seeing the way it’s half empty now. I huff. Bringing the cup back to my lips again, I down the whole cup.

Jake and Johnnie come up to me. I make eye contact with Jake and purse my lips.

It’s a commonly known fact that I smoke tobacco, yes. But to everyone’s knowledge I don’t drink, and have never touched a drink In My life.

Well Matt and Nick haven’t, I never said I haven’t, but I wasn’t exactly open about my past with alcohol either.

Matt and Nick said they’ve never drank, wich is true. Yet I never agreed. I did say on that podcast that I do smoke.

“Yo Chris” Jake greets dapping me up. I give him a weak smile. “Hi guys” I respond with a slight smile.

I wish I didn’t know anyone here and could just get wasted in peace. I’d get wasted at home but I literally can’t buy alcohol

“I didn’t know you drink?” Johnnie asks taking a sip of a water bottle. I don’t know if they drink, all I know is that they’re old enough to. Unlike me.

“Well.” I shrug. I’m still standing in the kitchen so I just put down my empty solo cup for the time being.

“Aren’t you underage tho?” Jake asks raising an eyebrow down at me. He shifts on his feet. He wouldn’t stop me per se, he’d just quietly disapprove.

“Yeah” I shrug. I lick my lips glancing at the half empty beer bottle on the counter. I purse my lips contemplating if I should pour my solo cup full again.

Because on one hand I want to make it seem like this is the first time I’m drinking and that I’m innocent, but then again the temptation is too strong, and before I realize it I’m pouring my cup full again.

Both the boys in front of me were saying something about not drinking too much, but I wasn’t even paying it attention.

“-Just don’t drink too much, right, you can get drunk really fast.” Jake rambles on a smile present on his lips like he thought this was an innocent joke. Not like I just relapsed or anything.

I take a sip from the beer, feeling it burn down my throat. I don’t even make a face at it, if anything I relax more when the taste hits my tongue.

“You handle your alcohol well, wow.” Jake says half joking, having finally stopped his rant.

“Anyway, where are Nick and Matt?” Johnnie asks cutting Jake off before he can start yapping again.

“Home.” I mumble taking another sip.

“Oh why’s that?” He asks back his words questioning as he tilts his head slightly.

His eyes look really dark with the dark eyeliner he’s wearing, in the dimmed room.

“They just didn’t want to come.” I shrug. I feel like I’m being too direct and rude.

It’s funny. Whenever I’m sober, I act more cheery and extroverted. But I don’t feel good. When I’m drunk or drinking it’s the opposite.

“Huh?” Jake huffs questioningly. “Well this is the first time you’re drinking right? Were you planning to, or how did that happen?”

I think he thought that maybe some person gave a drink to me and that’s how I started drinking tonight. Because god forbid I wanted to get drunk and was planning on drinking here because shady parties like this are the only places I can get my hands on alcohol.

“No,” I pause making eye contact with both of them, before my eyes meet the beer in my cup again.

“It’s not.” I shrug.

They glance at each other before looking back at me and I feel their eyes burn through my skin.

“Well, drink responsibly.” Jake says again slowly. He wasn’t going to stop me. They were all for ‘you do you’. And besides it’s not that bad anyway it’s not like I’m alcoholic or something. “And don’t drive.” He chuckled jokingly, winking.

I let a slight smile take over my face. I close my eyes and shake my head slightly, letting out a dry chuckle.

Johnnie waves back at me as they start to walk off into the crowd of people in the living room.

Time flies.

I drink some more, wander around and what not.

I’ve taken a bunch of drugs before. Asides from the obvious like coffee, cigarettes and alcohol, I also used to smoke a lot of weed. I’ve done lsd, cocaine, ecstasy. A lot of ecstasy. And Xanax.

Well I took Xanax kind of on accident in sophomore year. Matt has anxiety, and it used to be really bad so he had prescribed pills to take. And one day I thought they were pain killers and took them.

It made me feel very euphoric but calm and relaxed at the same time. That was the first big deal drug I ever took.

I was never interested in not being sober. But when junior year hit, and I started to go to parties, I tried verity’s kinds of drugs because if the high Xanax put me on was great, how would stronger drugs be.

Tho at the end of the day I did that way less than just drinking.

I look around getting bored of just standing around. I walk out to the backyard porch to get some air. There is a couch in the corner on both sides.

What’s wired about these types of parties is that there are not just influences or that type of people here, but also low ranking celebrities.

Like actors and actresses with low status, up in coming singers, low ranking models and what not.

There is a girl all alone on the couch to my right. I glance at her, scanning her features. Our eyes meet. I’m not as drunk as I was planning to be, but the night is still young so whatever.

She looks like she could be a model. But for all I know she could be a really pretty YouTuber too.

She takes the blunt from between her lips breathing out a puff of the toxic smoke. She was smiling, the weed rolled into a perfect blunt.

“Hi?” She asks. Have I been staring? I purse my lips staring back at her. I kind of forget to respond before I see her raise an eyebrow at me.

“Hey.” I respond simply shifting on my feet to turn to face her. She nods to the couch next to her and I take the hint and sit down next to her.

I take a deep breath in, closing my eyes slightly. The cold LA air feels so good against my burning hot skin.

“You smoke?” She asks offeringthe blunt to me.

I lick my lips slightly. She seems pretty faded, she must’ve been smoking for a while here now.

I look over her features,my eyes taking in every detail.

I him in response, watching the way she holds out the blunt for me. I take it and put it between my lips. As soon as I feel the weed fill up my lungs I can feel my body relax.

I slump back into the couch giving her the blunt back while I breathe out the smoke.

“What’s your name?” She asks putting the blunt back between her lips and smoking it.

“Chris.” I say simply. She hands me the blunt once again. And oh, I didn’t realize we’d be sharing now, but oh well.

“You look like a YouTuber.” She says bluntly, tilting her head at me.

We get that a lot, we look like ‘generic tiktokers’.

I shrug. I turn my face to the side and blow out the smoke before looking back at her and offering her the blunt again. “Maybe because I am?”

She chuckles dryly and takes the blunt. She puts it between her plump pink lips. “I’m y/n” she mumbles around the weed before inhaling again. I watch the way she holds the blunt between her pointer and middle finger.

The way her hands look so delicate. The way her acrylic nails look.

“And what do you do for a living?” I ask rhetorically. A slight grin threatens to spread on my face.

“I model.”

“Never thought models smoke?”

“Well I do.”

She offers me the blunt again.

We talk for even longer. We both seem to be blunt and direct people. there was no messing around and beating around the bush.

After a while silence falls upon us again. This is the second blunt we’d lit by this point. She leans over and puts that blunt out on the ashtray on the couch table.

“You’re pretty you know that.” I blurt out. She sits back raising an eyebrow. Her body is turned to me and she just looks so pretty. If I could have my way and we weren’t at some LA house party right now, I’d eat her out right here on the backyard porch.

“Thank you?” She chuckles. And god how good she sounds.

Her words sound like silk. They flow so well together and her voice 100% fits her face.

While we were talking she said she’s from New York. Wich is great. I love meeting east coast people. There are not a lot in California.

She’s apparently from manhattan. I’d been there before.

She turns to me more and tilts her head teasingly. I lean in my eyes staying locked on hers.

I can’t help the huge grin growing on my face.

“Yeah” I breathe out. By now we’re so painfully close. I put my hand on her jaw holding her in place. I can’t help it when I glance down at her lips for a second.

She does the same tho and looks down at my lips.

So why would I draw out this moment any longer? I crash my lips on hers and feel her immediately react and kiss back.

The kiss is gentle but hard at the same time.

By this point I can barely feel the alcohol in my system, only the weed. And with us kissing that’s all I’m focused on. I can’t think straight, and not because I’m cross faded.

My eyes are shut trying to feel this as much as I can. This feels like a high. Whether that be because I am actually high, or if kissing her just naturally feels good.

I tilt my head slightly in an effort to deepen the kiss, feeling the way her arms wrap around my neck and pull me closer.

My hands go to her waist holding onto her.

But suddenly, before things can escalate, I feel my phone ring.

I pull away slightly our faces still close. I groan in Annoyance. I lick my swollen lips glancing back down at y/n’s that are also plump and kiss swollen.

I pull out my phone from my back pocked seeing Matt’s caller ID.

I purse my lips and hang up the call. I crash my lips back onto y/n’s. She sighs into the kiss and kisses back just as intensely.

But my phone goes off again. We ignore it just continuing to make out.

That is until she pulls away and licks her lips. Our eyes lock again, silence falling upon us, until she breaks it.

“Whoever is calling you really wants to talk.” I purse my lips looking at my phone on the couch between us.

I pick it up with a sigh. I sit back and turn back forward. I pick up the call and it’s Nick.

“Christopher Owen.” I hear nicks pissed off firm voice through the other line.

“Turn your location on right the fuck now.”

I sigh. I take the phone from my face turning off airplane mode and turning my location back on. After I do that I put the phone back to my ear.

“We’ll be there in 5” I hear Matt say loudly. He sounds mildly pissed off too.

“Whatever.” I groan dramatically. Why do they always have to hold me off from having fun.

I was just drinking a little bit. Like I didn’t even get drunk yet.

“Go to the front door, we’re almost there.” Nick says firmly to wich I reluctantly hum an argument.

I hang up the phone after it’s silent. I roll my eyes. I let my hand drop from my face to my lap, still holding my phone. I look over at y/n who is looking at me with a curious expression, but she wasn’t going to push it.

“I gotta go.” I say simply and get up.

I don’t glance back before i open the door inside again. I walk through the crowd of people pushing my way to the front door.

★ ★ ★

I sit at the front porch steps waiting for Matt to pull up.

When he pulls up mere seconds later Nick gets out of the passenger seat walking over to me. He looks more worried than angry.

I reluctantly get up. Nick keeps holding my arm just in case, but I really wasn’t that drunk. Sure I was not walking too straight, but it wasn’t like I was at risk of falling over.

He sits me down in the passenger seat Matt watching.

Nick himself gets into the backseat.

No word is said. Matt pulls into drive and starts to drive down the road. I close my eyes awaiting the eventual questioning and rants and whatever.

“Why’d you relapse?” Matt ask, simply getting straight to the point. Ripping the band aid right off.

“Sorry” I mumble. I open my eyes and turn my head to stare out of the window.

No song is playing, it’s just eerily quiet.

“No. Why did you relapse?” Nick asks his tone more firm. “Yeah you were doing so good” Matt adds with a sigh.

I let out my own sigh at the questions.

I don’t know why I relapsed.

It’s just something about LA that is so tempting. Partying is fun, and so is being drunk.

I’m pretty sure Jake and Johnnie must’ve told them. Somehow. After all, at this party, they were the only ones I actually knew. They must’ve texted or called one of them for some reason, resulting in waking them up.

And as soon as they were awake and checked my bed, they started to call me. Makes sense, whatever.

“Chris, you know, you need to talk.” Nick sighs frustrated.

“Why did you relapse?” Matt asks again glancing over at me for a second before going right back to staring at the road. “Is it the temptations of LA, is it your mental health,” he lists off the top of his head before sighing again. “What is it?”

“Chris we need you to tell us the root cause of this.” Nick says firmly. Honestly i should play drunk and pretend I don’t understand what they want from me, but I think they can tell I’m not legit drunk, just because of the fact that they’ve seen me actually blackout drunk before.

“I don’t know.” I say simply my tone staying low. It feels like my words cut straight through the thick tension in the room.

It’s like a re-opened wound.

“What do you mean you don’t know.” Nick scoffs. He was getting worked up, and I know that. I close my eyes for a second bracing myself.

“We thought you were better.”

We- it wasn’t just Nick that thought I got better, but also Matt, mom, dad and Justin.

“I did too.”

Masterlist

A/N: I hope you guys liked this.. I hope it’s realistic enough. But yeah, this was fun to write, tho I do know that it did kind of drift from the actual theme of the song. Tell me if u guys want a part 2 and my asks and requests are open <3

‼️please don’t copy my work/idea‼️

Taglist: @muwapsturniolo , @sturnad , @iluvm4ttsturni0l0 , @evie-sturns , @me09love , @fratbrochrisgf , @spideylovin , @chrissgirlsstuff , @stunza , @whicked-hazlatwhore , @sturniooolos , @ecliphttlunar , @orangeypepsi , @klaus223492 , @char112244 , @sst7niolo , @slut4chriss , @mattsturniololoverr , @th3-3d3n-g4rd3n , @st7rnioioss , @t1llysblogs , @nonat-111 , @blahbel668 , @rockstarchr1s , @sturnsintrouble , @nayveetbhh , @tillies33ssss , @sturncakez , @strnilo , @somegirlfromasgard , @mattslovelygf , @sturnsmaeve , @sturnstvr , @lucianastrun , @jnkvivi , @jamiesturniolo

[clumsiestgiantess]

Just for y’all, a short that became a little two-part story (next part coming soon) inspired by this post by @tinyascanbe

@thetinylittlespider @entomolog-t @tinyundercover y’all seemed interested in this unforgiving angst, so here you go!

Blood trickles down my arm for.. I don’t know, maybe the fifth time?  Sixth?  I’ve only been like this for three days.  Already the threat of bleeding to death is a common occurrence for me.  It’s not like I have much blood to bleed out anyway.  I’m.. I don’t know how small I am.  The grass is taller than my head, and bugs can be anywhere from forearm length to larger than myself.  I really just want to go home.

I was jogging through one of the nearby neighborhoods like I always did, when something felt wrong.  Lightheadedness clouded my thoughts, so I’d stepped into a lawn beside myself to avoid getting hit while I recovered — perhaps I hadn’t drank enough water.  However, by the time my head cleared, I was standing below the grass I’d previously been stepping on.

At first it was just confusing.  How could something like that just happen?  For a while I had myself convinced that it was some weird dream; I hadn’t even woken up and started my day at all.  However, things got real rather quickly once my search for a clearing in the forest of weeds and blades of grass landed me at the edges of an anthill.  I’d been chased out of there — hounded down and nearly bitten to death.  

Their jaws.. mandibles.. whatever the hell they are.. nearly tore my limbs right off my body.  I had to beat at their eyes and heads relentlessly until they were forced to let me go.  I just wasn’t strong enough to get out of their grip.  To think I once flicked them off me without a second thought.  Now, after managing to get far enough away from them to stop and look at my injuries, I found that all it took was a few hard bites to put a limb out of commission for the day.  Thankfully, I hadn’t gotten many more than that, or I would’ve lost a limb permanently.

It was like I’d been dropped on an alien world.  I’m all for a good hike, and I know a decent amount about camping out in nature, but no survival guide had ever told me how to kill a beetle the size of my torso for a meal, or warned me that said beetle could then turn and try to make a meal out of me.  That was about all the hunting I was up for once I was left with large gashes torn out of my back and arms.

Every day and night since then I only became more and more aware of just how awful life had become.  I’d gone from believing it was a dream, to begging for it to be a dream.  Though if anything it’s a nightmare.  

My only hope is getting to the house that this yard is connected to.  If I could just get someone who isn’t a bug to find me — someone who wouldn’t try to hurt me on sight or stare at me with an emotionless terrifying face as I pass by.  I’ve barely drank anything the last three days, and I know I haven’t eaten.  Sleep is basically an afterthought.  Everything starts shrieking at night, and even if it were silent, something might come and drag me away the moment I doze off.

By the dawn of the third day, I start hallucinating.  I- I swear I can hear my friends voices.   They’re here somewhere with me, right?  They came to find me, right?!  I can’t.. die out here alone.

There!  Oh my god there’s someone here!  “HELP!” I screamed, stumbling blearily through the endless stalks of grass.  They’re running from me; why are they running?!  “PLEASE!  COME BACK!”  

I.. might’ve fell?  Scrambling upright, I rushed through the grass and weeds that seemed to have grown denser with each step.  I couldn’t run through them anymore and begun clawing at their stalks, desperately trying to carve a path through.  How did they get through so easily?!

Sobbing angrily, I shoved and pushed and clawed- and passed out.  It could’ve been an hour or a few seconds later when I came to.  I was in a ditch of dirt, grime coating my arms, shoulders, and especially fingers — everything I’d used to make my way through the strangely dense plants.  For a brief moment I sat in silence, then bubbly laughter began to wheeze uncontrollably from my parched throat.  “I was clawing up dirt the whole time!” I gasped through almost manic laughter.  “It was pointless!  I- There wasn’t anyone there!”

And that’s where I’m at: bleeding out from the wounds I tore open yet again — curled up in a ditch I’ve dug for myself.  It’ll most likely be my grave.  My stomach growls angrily and my insides start to burn.  The acid inside it jumps up my throat, and my uncontrollable giggling quickly morphs into a sob.  “Please…  I- I can’t do this anymore…” I whimper, clutching my stomach only for my atrophied muscles to spasm and ooze blood from my cuts.

“JUST KILL ME!!!” I shriek into the void, “IT HURTS!!!”  One moment I’m laying there in my own blood and tears, the next I’m being dragged away by something.  Some large and furry creature starts dragging me across the ground with one of my legs in its mouth.  I let it.  At least I’m going somewhere.  

I.. think I fell asleep?  More accurately I probably just slipped out of consciousness.  But I wake up once pain begins tearing freshly against my back.  I’m no longer being dragged over dirt, but rough concrete.  The front step.  Holy hell, I made it.  Forgetting about wanting to give up, I kick the creature as hard as I can with my other leg.  It squeaks, drops me, and runs off.

Slowly and agonizingly, I drag myself to the first and only step.  If it were day one or maybe two, I could’ve managed getting over it, but now, starting up at the top from the ground… it’s impossible.  I’d die trying to make it up.  “Someone h- help..”  It was supposed to be a scream, but I couldn’t even manage that.  Panting in pain and sobbing in desperation, I silently beg someone — anyone — to come find me.  No one does.

I wake up in complete darkness, unable to move.  Terrified that I’d died, I cry out.  “H—?”  Well, I try crying out.  I hear rumbling, like distant thunder.  If it rains I think I should drown myself at this point.  There’s a scraping around me.  I’m inside a box or.. some kind of container.  Sudden light flashes into my vision and I yelp, closing my eyes as they painfully adjust.  

“Y- You woke up?”  A voice echoes through the air — far too loud to be normal.  I blink through the new lighting and stare up at the person towering over me.  A middle-aged woman looks down from above, baffled.  “You… I- I thought you were dead!”  I flinch at her exclamation and turn away, only to find myself at the bottom of a small box made to fit a bracelet or necklace.  The perfect size to become a makeshift coffin for something my size.  “I-” I cough as my throat closes up for a few seconds.  “I’m sorry?” the voice from above asks.  They lean closer in time to catch the tail end of my coughing.

“Oh!  Here, I’ll get you something to drink.  I- I’m so sorry I sealed you in a box; poor thing!  I.. thought you were already dead, but I was too fascinated to bury you quite yet.”  I’m not sure whether to be thankful for that or be terrified by it.  What do you mean, ‘fascinated’?  I didn’t have the strength to get up so I just sorta.. lay there, staring at the ceiling way too high above me.

When she comes back, the giant- ..human.  Human, not giant.  I’m just.. small.  She tries to sit me up, but my whole body tenses in pain and I cry out in agony.  I’m released as she flinches, and I fall back to the bottom of the box with another sob.  “Oh honey, I’m sorry!” she apologizes hastily, “I- I didn’t mean to do that.  You- You’re hurt!  Here, let me help you.”  She dresses my more obvious wounds, gently moving each limb as she cares for it.  Picking up my hand, she gently turns it over — pressing it between her fingers as she scrutinizes it.

“You’re.. so small,” she says in awe.  “You aren’t a fairy-tale creature, are you?  You’re wearing.. normal clothes.. so I’d think you aren’t.  Those shouldn’t even be that small…”  I briefly glance down at my under armour tee.

“Are you…?  Did you…?”  She keeps pausing, unsure what to say.  “Were you normal-sized before?”  I nod weakly, and she gasps.  “Oh no!  How long have you been out there for?”  With a shaking hand I manage to hold up three fingers.  “Three hours?  That must’ve been awf-”  I interrupt her with a head shake.  “Three.. Three days?”  That time I give a nod.  “No wonder you’re in such awful shape!  I can’t believe it…  I found you curled up at the bottom of my doorstep.  I thought you were my youngest’s toy at first, but when I picked you up you.. started bleeding.”  Her voice grew hushed, mind wandering.

“Do you have anyone at home to look after you?” she asks me.  I begin to shake my head, then pause as the realization dawns on me.  I.. can’t even go home.  I won’t be able to get anything to help myself.  The gigantic person leans down over me to check my understanding and I quickly shake my head so she’ll get back.  “Oh.. that’s alright, honey.  I’ll take care of you in the meantime.  Do you need anything now?”

“Wa—  Water-” I manage to choke out.  I desperately wanted to talk to her — to ask her if she could bring me something more comfortable to lay on, or at the very least feed me.  The woman nodded, “Of course!  I forgot I even brought this.  You’ll have to sit up, though.  You’ll choke otherwise.”  I knew that.  I want to sit up.  However, I can’t even move without severe pain stopping me.  “Here, let me.”  Fearfully, I watch her fingers slide down to the sides of my head.  I cry out, trying to duck to get away from the massive digits.  Her squeezing and pressing my hand was terrifying enough; I was nearly convinced she would accidentally twist it in the wrong direction.  But my face.. my head?!  One strong grip will be enough to cave my skull in.

“No, no, no!  Shh, it’s ok!  I won’t hurt you; I’m just trying to help.”  “I -n— th-t!” I squeak out, nearly incomprehensibly.  My muscles sting while I try in vain to cover my face.  As her fingers nudge my head upwards, I squeeze my eyes shut and try to force away the horrible dark thoughts.  This is what I wanted — someone who can help me...  So why is this just as terrifying as being outside?!  I nearly scream as the pad of a gigantic finger rests at the back of my neck.  I can feel the strength wavering just behind it.  I can feel just how little pressure she’d have to apply to get it to snap.

My head slowly gets pressed upward, and I can’t help but sob slightly.  “Aww, you’re alright little one.  I’ll be very gentle,” she tells me sweetly.  With tiny crumbs of food, and an oversized cap of water, she feeds me — right out of her hand.  It’s.. the only way I can eat without awful pain, but it’s humiliating!  After the first few bites to save my stomach from eating me alive, I debate going hungry rather than letting this happen.

After letting me eat for a while, the woman places a torn-off piece of a cotton ball beneath my head where her finger used to rest.  I want to ask: ‘you couldn’t have done that earlier?’ but hold back.  Mostly because my voice still sounds awful and unrecognizable, but also because I need her.  I can’t yell at her to get away from me, unless I want to try surviving on my own again…

“Alright,” the woman sighs, startling me from my thoughts, “I’ve got to get to bed.  Will you be fine, or do you think I should stay up to watch you?”  “I’ll be f-ne,” I rasp.  She nods slowly, “Ok.. I’ll come check up on you a bit later, alright?  Should I leave the light on?”  I shake my head.  “Just call for me if you need anything; my name’s Kristine.”

Stepping away from wherever she placed me, I watch her hand reach up to somewhere beyond my view and click off a lamp to the side of me.  For a long while I lay there in complete darkness with nothing but my thoughts and the dull throbbing of.. basically everything.  It was only then, in the middle of the night, when I actually needed to call her, that I realized I couldn’t.  My throat was too scratched up.  I fall back asleep with my stomach roiling.

The next morning, I wake up to an empty room.  Without a gigantic person hovering around, I feel brave enough to test my injuries.  Things finally seem to work again.  I can get up out of the little box I’d been placed in; I can speak properly.  Wandering the dresser where I stand, I use the free time to stretch my muscles — figure out what I can and can’t do.  The food and water I was given still sit beside the box, so I help myself to it.  I’m practically starving again.  

After filling myself to satisfaction, I notice a cord running down the back of the dresser.  It’s such a tempting idea to slide down it to the floor…  Surely I have enough time to explore and come back.  She might not be back for hours.  The logic seems sound enough to me.  I head for the space between the wall and the dresser and cautiously slip between them, shimmying downward.  It’s not so bad of a journey, but then I get to the opening at the bottom.  The place where the dresser stops and I can’t wedge myself between the large walls to stop myself from slipping.  With all the horrific events prior, my spent muscles can’t keep up with the sudden weight, and I tumble what must be the equivalent of eight feet to the floor.  

Oww.  That wasn’t the smartest thing for me to do directly after recovering, I’ll admit.  Standing wobbly to my feet, I look around the vast space.  Every piece of furniture, no matter how small, looks like a skyscraper to me.  It’s simultaneously terrifying and incredible at the same time.  Dust hangs in the air — reflecting sunlight like ambient lighting.  The carpet flooring nearly reaches my waist like an open field of high grass.

I get about a quarter of the way across the room before the gigantic door to my right swings open.  My heart thunders rapidly in my chest as I watch the giant person step into the room.  I try my hardest to convince myself I’ll be alright.  This isn’t an actual giant — just a person who looks like one from my tiny perspective.  She won’t try to hurt me.  Yet, I rethink my decision to stay instead of hide once she steps directly towards me while completely unaware of where I am.  

“Wait!” I cry out fearfully as her foot approaches, “I’m down here!  Don’t-!”  My words cut off as I brace myself for an awful weight to crush me down from above.  “Oh!  Oh my gosh I nearly stepped on you, little thing!  Why are you on the floor?”  Little thing?  “I- My name is-”  A hand the size of a large truck descends and snatches me into a fist before I can finish speaking.  Did she even hear me speaking?

Now I really am frightened.  I writhe in the giant woman’s grip, but to my horror, she only giggles.  “Oh stop it!  That tickles!”  Trapped on all sides by warm skin, I try kicking at the walls but it’s completely useless.  Seconds later she opens her hands and I fall ungracefully back into the little box where I’d woken.  I yelp in pain as I hit the bottom.  “Hello?!” I cry in outrage, startling the behemoth who dropped me.  “Could you be a bit gentler!?  I could barely move yesterday; I’m lucky just to be able to get up and walk around!”  

I’m given a pitying glance, which only makes my resentment stronger.  “Aww, even if you do get hurt again, I can always fix you up!  Besides, I don’t think it’s such a good idea for you to be wandering around the place, anyway.  Who knows what other ways you might get hurt.  I almost stepped on you just now!”  “And who’s fault is that?” I mumbled.  “Here, I’ll be right back,” she tells me, slipping easily out of the room.  As if she hadn’t completely skipped past the point that I wasn’t getting hurt — she was hurting me.

With Kristine gone for quite a while, I expected her to bring back fresh food for me, maybe something comfier to line the box that’s now my bed.  Instead, she comes back with a large plastic container with a snap-on top that’s lined with slits and features a little magnifying glass window — a cheap creature container.  A horrified chill seeps through my skin and clings tightly to my bones.  “No…  No!  What do you think you’re doing with that?!”  I scramble out of the little box and make a run for the electrical cord, but my muscles tense with pain and I stumble across the counter.  

My bruises scream agonizingly as I fall against a wall of flesh.  “Wait-!”  I’m scooped up into a palm and deposited on the cold surface of the plastic container.  My voice cracks as I realize what’s going to happen to me.  “Please!  I-  I just want to go home!  I have a life!  I have a family!  You can’t keep me here!”  My captor smiles softly at me, then begins filling the container with various items for me: a few blankets cut out of fabric scraps, some cotton balls, a little container of food and a bottle cap of water.  “Honey, I’d love to take you home, but you’d have no one there to take care of you.  I’m sorry, but keeping you here is the safest thing for you.  You’ll be fine; I’ll get you whatever you need!”

I blanch at how calmly my captor tried to soothe me.  As she reaches to place the lid over the top of the enclosure, I make another attempt at freeing myself.  “B- But.. Can’t I at least stay out there?”  She shakes her head and my heart drops into my stomach.  “I’ve been meaning to hide you somewhere, anyways.  I don’t want my kids finding you small like this, and I don’t think you do either.”  “I can hide from them!  I can-!”  I’m cut off as the cage lurches forward into my captor’s arms.  I watch through teary-eyed vison as the container is brought into a walk-in closet and shoved onto a high shelf.  Moments later, an old shirt is thrown over the top of it.  “There,” I hear Kristine say satisfactorily, “That looks perfectly hidden!”  Then, her footsteps begin to fade. “NO!  WAIT!  COME BACK!  Please, you have to come back!  I can’t live here like this!  PLEASE!”  I desperately hit the side of my cage — banging on it to call for her return.  My desperate voice echoes around me now that everything’s covered.  I fall to my knees and cringe awfully as pain ricochets up my arms and legs.  Panting in pain and sobbing in desperation, I silently beg someone — anyone — to come find me.  Still, no one does.

[fullfledgedemo]

Chapter 1 / Part 3

Pairing: Rafe cameron x OC / JJ maybank x OC / JJ Maybank x sister!reader

Warnings: swearing, alcohol, drugs, typical obx stuff; (remind me if I forget something)

Summary: Skyla is JJ's older sister. Growing up together they were inseparable. A short while after going to school she met her best friend Kayla. She would convince Kay to join her and the pogues. But Skyla would be strongly invested to make her dream of going to art school come true, that she didn't notice her best friend totally falling for her brother. On the road to her dream she accidentally crosses paths with the Kook prince himself. Maybe he's not that bad after all?

Word count: 2K

AN: I needed to split this one up so there is one last part coming out soon! ~

(next day ~ rise and shine)

As I got back home that night, JJ was knocked out in his bed. So I went straight to my room, trying to get some sleep myself.

I was glad our father wasn’t around or he might yell at us for any reason. It didn’t take me too long to fall asleep. Most of all it was from the weed yesterday.

But as I woke up I soon remembered what had happened. Me chilling out with Rafe Cameron at the pier. Ok it wasn’t directly chilling out, he just came up to me and asked for papers.

Still it was a pretty great night after all. Rubbing my head, I tried to wrap my head around it and giggled.

Getting slapped back into reality I heard my brother making a smoothie in the kitchen. Now I was nervous, how should I tell him that I may be hooking up with the enemy ,as he likes to call them.

I sat up a little too fast, making my head spin a little. Better not to tell him right now. I think about something.

Grabbing some fresh clothes from my drawer, I got changed and walked to the kitchen.

JJ was pouring some green smoothie into a glass. “Morning”, I softly greeted him. He looked up from his smoothie and smiled at me “Morning sunshine”.

Pondering how I should start the conversation I just asked “Hangover smoothie?”. “Damn right, you want some?”, he cooed and looked for an extra glass.

“Gladly”, I snickered and leaned on the counter. He poured me a glass and we silently went out to sit on the front porch.

Taking a sip from my smoothie I looked a little disgusted. “Oh god, I forgot how bad this tasted”, I said, shaking my whole body because of the weird taste.

“Well it isn’t supposed to taste good, it just helps with the headache and stuff”, JJ laughed as he watched me pinch my nose while I drank.

As we sat there a few minutes in silence the urge to talk about the fight yesterday came over me. “I’m sorry..”

”I didn’t mean to..”, we said simultaneously, making us laugh at each other.

I gestured for him to go on as I took another sip.

“Sky look, I’m sorry it just made me so mad..not that you forgot but that you chose a stuck up party with some Kooks over us”, he explained, looking to the ground and I saw a little frown on his face. 

I sighed, putting down my smoothie, “It was never my intention to upset you, I just said yes to Nina because I really didn’t think about it”.

“I know, just..next time it would be kinda nice if you think of us first”, he said smiling at me.

“Of course, I know that I can be forgetful, but I hope you can forgive your dumb sis”, I nudged his shoulder and gave him a shy smile.

Laughing he embraced me in a tight hug “Of course dummy”. “After all I did a lot stupid stuff too and you still haven’t thrown me down a cliff”, he added laughing and his statement made me laugh too.

Grinning, I softly said “We dummy’s need to stick together”. JJ put his hands up to his mouth shouting “Attention kildare island the maybanks are loose again!”. Frantically laughing I cheered in and gave a warning howl.

After an hour of just chilling with my brother I asked “You know what the others are up to today?”.

He pinched a straw of grass in between his fingers and looked up. “I’ll give them a call”, he said, taking out his phone.

While JJ was dialling John B’s number I wondered if they still were mad, because I would totally understand that.

As John B. was picking up, JJ would ask him what he was doing right now. “Alright, I'll talk to the girls, see ya later”, my brother said and ended the call.

Looking at him I wished for a positive answer. “He’s out with Pope right now, but they join us later at the chateau and we should call the girls”, he answered my pondering look.

I sighed “Alright, I'll talk to them”. I took out my phone and nervously bit my lip. Staring a few minutes onto my screen, I decided that I would rather text them.

Twenty minutes later I got a text from Kayla that she would come over in an hour, and Kie answered that she would join us at a similar time like the boys.

As my brother and I sat at the chateau waiting, Kayla was first to arrive. She parked her car near the big willow tree.

Most times you didn’t notice that Kayla was born a Kook, because her parents chose a more modest way of life. Before she moved to the cut in 9th grade, she and her parents would live on the mainland and had a pretty big house.

As she was put in our class, I knew from the start I wanted to be friends with her. Maybe the way she talked, or the fact that we liked the same music proved to me that my decision was the right one.

After all, I introduced her to the pogues and she fit totally in our strange pack. 

As she made her way over to us, I smiled and waved at her. But before she could reach the porch where we were sitting JJ stood up and shouted “Kayla Lynn Prinston, I need to talk to you”, he explained in a serious manner.

Kayla looked at him caught off guard “What?..What did I do?”she asked, confused.

“Nothing Ma’m, we just need to ask you a couple of questions”, JJ said, making a dramatic pause.

“Did it come to your attention that the Maybanks are loose again?”, he continued, looking at her whilst throwing an arm around her shoulders.

She broke out in laughter and shook her head. “You’re such a goofball, I really thought you were serious”, she said chuckling, pinching his cheek.

I laughed with them, looking at my brother who made an ‘ouch’ face.

Kayla sat down next to me on the porch. “Uhm I’m getting myself a drink, you want something too?”, JJ glanced at Kayla, nervously ruffling his hair. “Yeah, a coke please”, she smiled at him.

My brother disappeared into the kitchen and for a few seconds it was silent between the two of us. Looking at each other I just blurted out “I’m sorry I wasn’t there yesterday”.

Kay sighed, but soon put on a smile. “It’s okay, did you at least have a good time?”she asked, nudging my shoulder.

I considered telling her about the whole Rafe Cameron situation but as I was about to say something I heard my brother coming out of the house again.

“Yeah, I…it wasn’t too bad”, I quickly added, looking away to hide my embarrassed face.

Kay took her drink from JJ, thanking him. She now gave me a questioning grin “Not too bad?”.

Shit she already knows something is up. I should’ve said it was boring and nothing happened the whole night. Now my brother also looked at me, taking a sip from his own drink.

I nervously rubbed my hands on my pants “Well you know, Nina kept talking to fancy people and I just knocked myself out on cocktails”, I explained, laughing to ease my anxiety a little.

“Sounds like my sis”, JJ cheered. That was close, I thought. I didn’t want to blow things up right now with my brother, nor with my friends. Not knowing how they would react, with me going to another Kook party.

This time it was the real deal also, because it was the Camerons estate. To change the topic, I asked them about what they had been up to yesterday.

“You know, the typical shenanigans”, Kayla explained, grinning at JJ.

“Hey I didn’t know you were standing there, I apologised”, JJ said, raising his hands in defence.

Kay laughed and turned to me “He poured a cup of beer over my head because he was drunk as fuck”.

My brother scratched his neck and looked extremely embarrassed.

As we chatted the others would arrive at the chateau. As everyone was now here, we would chat and goof around until it got dark and we decided to put out some candles. The boys wanted to make a little bonfire so they were gathering wood.

 I went into the kitchen to make us some popcorn. Joining the girls again outside Kiara asked me “Hey Sky? How’s the whole art school thingy going for you?” grabbing some popcorn out of the bowl I put down.

“Well I still need a bit more money for the first semester but it should work with the scholarship, I also sent the application out a few days ago”, I nervously smiled.

The University I wanted to attend was located on the mainland, that meant I would be pretty far away from my friends and JJ. I really didn’t want to leave my brother alone with my father but this was my only chance of getting somewhere better.

“I’m sure they will accept you”, Kiara smiled at me assuring. Looking up at the night sky I wished for the best. Maybe my dream will come true eventually.

(day after - skyla’s workplace) 

Today was pretty normal at work. Some tourists floated in making me run back and forth with dishes, but other than that the next hours were chill.

As I was about to take out the trash I got a text message. Throwing the nasty bag of leftover food into the container I wiped my hands off and looked around for anyone to see me.

Taking out a cigarette I lit it up and made some puffs. Looking at my phone I investigated the text I got. Glancing at the name of the person who had sent it I jumped a little.

Rafe texted me.

I opened the message and bit back a grin. “Hey Blondie, excited for the party?” he wrote. Texting him back I wrote “Yo Cameron boy, Name’s Sky if you forgot, but yeah I am~”

Chuckling I exhaled some smoke. Teasing him a little would be kind of fun.

I didn’t take long for him to respond “I know but Blondie sounds kinda cute ;) Looking forward to seeing you there” I blushed madly at his text.

I don’t know why he gets me all the time, normally I’m not that easy to fluster. “Skyla, are you outside?”I heard my manager shouting.

I hastily put out my cigarette and made my way back in. I hoped that the party would be good, but honestly I wasn't excited about it. I was excited for some certain young man.

(night of the party)

It was evening as I texted my brother that I would be staying over at Nina’s place.

I asked her the day before if she could be my backup. “To be your partner in crime? Hell yes!” she answered me.

I didn't tell her exactly where I was going, only that it was a party I didn't want my brother to know of. Packing some clothes for changing at Nina’s, I felt a little guilty for not being open with everyone.

But it was for the better, I told myself. There would be just a lot of drama about it and I didn't want to deal with it right now.

“See ya tomorrow”, I said to my brother, who was sitting outside. “Have fun Skizzle”, he waved at me and smiled.

I looked at my phone to check the time only to hear Nina arriving with her car. As I hopped into the passenger seat she smiled at me. “Hey gurl, you're bumped? “, she asked while hugging me.

I grinned buckling up my seat belt. “Kind. of, but actually actually a little nervous”, I told her.

She looked at me curiously “It's a guy, am I right?”.

“Sshhh not too loud, and maybe”, I whispered, grabbing her hand to get her to quiet down a little. She chuckled and drove us to her house. 

@madelynie @runningfrom2am

[the-purple-flowers]

I’m starting to hate my living situation more and more each day . I’m fight to be the person I want to be and I’m not saying I should be easy but can I get a break from time to time I’ve done so much to change myself I was really addicted to weed nicotine and alcohol just a few months ago smoking or drinking whenever I got the chance I’m only 18 and I smoked so much it made me sick I was in a really bad headspace I only quit nicotine because it made me feel worse then weed and I couldn’t handle it but I quit everything cold turkey I haven’t smoked or drank in months . Last month I was on a good path I worked out everyday I studied I worked on personal projects I worked so hard but I still felt the same my mine is to anxious to acknowledge if I’ve done well or gotten better I still can’t go out with out suffering.I feel I’ve lost all me friends I’m close with no family my age and I’m surrounded by loneliness two years agoI had no will to live I had so many attempts but they all failed and my family doesn’t even know I used to cut but I promise myself I wouldn’t live like that anymore and I haven’t but why do I still suffer

[purplesurveys]

1616

Did you ever used to make cookies, cakes or pie with your grandma? So I lived with my maternal grandma growing up but I never baked with her, mainly because her specialty is more on cooking. I did bake cookies, however, with one of my aunts with whom I lived, too. I’d help her mix the dough and roll them up into balls.

Do you burn incense? No, I hate the smell and it also reminds me of church so I never liked incense.

Do you smoke weed? Nope.

Have you actually been through a devastating natural disaster before? We have 1-2 typhoons every year that are on the more destructive side, yes; but we’ve been very fortunate to have never been severely affected. The most we’ve faced was like ankle-deep flood that reached the inside of our home, but that’s it. What fast food place, in your opinion, has the best french fries? KFC has terrific seasoned fries. Jollibee is great if you’re looking for some classic salty fries.

Do you believe one day aliens might take over Planet Earth? I don’t believe it will ever happen in this lifetime, but the scenario also doesn’t seem all too impossible for me. We’re not the only ones out here anyway.

Do you like soda pop? If so, which is your favorite and least favorite? I detest soda and any kind of fizzy drink. I will take a sip of Pepsi though if I had no choice but to drink soda.

Does it bother you when people burp around you or do you do it too? It only bothers me if they burp close enough and I smell what they just ate, ugh lol gross. But burping for me overall is less gross than farting, so it’s whatever.

When is the next time you’ll talk to the cousin you’re closest to? Not so sure! Maybe a few weekends from now when we come over to visit.

When was the last time you saw a bird? What kind of bird was this? I’m not sure; I haven’t looked outside in a while. Probably a few days ago as they are everywhere where I live anyway.

How old were you when you had the chicken pox? I’ve never had it.

Ever had a friend named Alex or John? I’ve had a few Alexes as friend. 

When was the last time you painted a picture? December. I never finished it though.

What kind of stuff do you like on your hot dogs? Mayonnaise or honey mustard.

Where did you kiss the last person you kissed? Outside my house.

What’s your favorite thing to eat for breakfast? Fried rice, omelette, and hotdogs, with salted egg on the side.

Has someone seen you naked in the past month? Nope.

How many concerts have you been to? Four international acts and a bunch of smaller local shows.

Do you think it’s right for straight guys to get their tongue pierced? Well, yeah? Let’s not gatekeep piercings, lmao.

Last thing you drank? Water.

Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? Key word here is thought - yeah. But it’s not like I ever plan on acting on that thought; I was never all that crazy about piercings.

Would you ever donate blood? Nope, unless it were for a really really really REALLY close loved one. Otherwise the thought just makes me feel faint.

Have you ever driven without a license? There have been a handful of times where I was mid-drive and realized that I left my wallet (where my license is) at home. During those times, I panic for like 5 seconds lol and try to drive as responsibly as I can so as to not get pulled over; once I get to wherever I have to be, I would typically GrabExpress my wallet to me so that I don’t feel stressed by the time I have to drive back home.

Are you ticklish? Yeah, super. I even feel tickled when someone puts their hands near me (like they’re not even touching me yet) so it’s become a bit of a gag where my friends would place their hands a few inches away just to see me squirm and jump lol.

What are you listening to? I have Episode 2 of Suchwita in the background.

Describe the main problem with your last relationship? We were extremely toxic to one another.

What’s on your shower curtain? Nothing, it’s just this plain plastic-but-not-so-plastic(??) material. I never learned what it’s made of.

What cartoon/anime character can you most relate to? Mr. Peanutbutter from Bojack Horseman. I feel like I’m one of the handful of people who actively take a liking to him, and I think it’s because I see a lot of myself in him and idk it’s just a bit reassuring? validating? idk the right word, to be able to relate to someone so much.

Do you have any pictures of celebs saved to your computer? Yeah I have a few photos of BTS on my laptop, mostly desktop wallpapers and memes I come across. Most of my photos of them are on my phone though - a camera roll of over 30,000 strong, lol.

Do you like turtleneck sweaters/shirts? They’re extremely uncomfy and make my neck itch like crazy, but yes. I like how they look on me, so I get them nonetheless.

Do you find hands attractive? Yes, very much so.

Do you think it is silly to give names to vehicles, or other inanimate objects? No, unless you develop a rather obsessive relationship with whatever the thing is, I guess? Otherwise, you do you. My dad has names for our cars and I think it’s actually pretty endearing.

Do you ever wear a robe? I don’t even own one, so no. Where I live is too warm for those.

Is there a hair color/style you really like but don’t think you could pull off? Neon orange.

Out of all the Disney/Pixar animal “sidekicks”, which one is your favorite? Maximus from Tangled!

If your mom was a teacher, would you want to be in her class? Continued from Thursday evening. Probably not, only because I don’t want to have to encounter negative comments about her should it ever get to that point.

As a kid, did you love playing on Neopets? I had an offline Neopets game on my old phone that I fairly enjoyed, but I never actually knew what it’s like to play Neopets online. To this day I still don’t know much about Neopets beyond the game I used to play.

Would you ever get a pet turtle? Why or why not? No. I wouldn’t know the first step in taking care of them.

What shop/store/brand would you model for, if given the choice? Nike or adidas.

If I search your room will I find birth control? Nope.

Have you ever witnessed a birth? Not in real life.

Have you ever been told you were a good writer? Yeah, it’s the only skill-related compliment I ever get.

Is the last person of the opposite sex you texted single? I can’t even remember who that would be.

Which Scooby-Doo character are you most like (Scooby, Shaggy, Daphne, Fred, Velma, the monster, Scrappy?) I never watched much Scooby Doo so I don’t actually know the personalities of the different characters.

Describe your dream wedding where money is no option. I don’t think I even have one anymore; I used to have visions of the perfect wedding, but those images don’t seem as appealing to me now...idk, maybe renting out an entire art museum in like Europe? Something like that, I guess.

Do you have a birth mark? Where? Does it look like anything? I have one on the left side of my upper back, and another one on my butt. I used to have one on my right arm but that faded away over time.

If you were blind for the rest of your life… what would you miss seeing the most? The sea and the view of cities from an airplane. And my dogs.

What is your favorite animal? List three adjectives to explain your choice. Dogs. They’re friendly, lively, and (always) excited.

What is the most outrageous thing you’ve done for God? Believe in it. What person in the Bible do you most closely identify with? Nobody.

If you were to write a book what would it be about? That would either be a memoir or a biography about someone else.

Who do you admire the most? I don’t really get the concept of admiring people. < Same, I always struggle when faced with this question. Idk...I just don’t care enough about anyone to hold this kind of lasting feeling for them.

Who was your hero when you were a child, and what did you do to be like them? I didn’t have any heroes.

If you could rid the world of one thing, what would it be? Pickles.

The last piece of roadkill you saw, what kind of animal was it? Cat.

Has anyone ever cheated on their boyfriend/girlfriend with you? Nope.

Who/what is the last thing you kicked? A volleyball. List 5 things that have happened in the last 7 days. (They can be anything at all, anything that’s happened involving you, or your family, friends, partner)

I learned that four people at work got fired, and it’s been a whirlwind within our group chats since;

I had been take completely aback seeing a notification from Jin;

My client under one account managed to piss me off a billion times;

I watched a couple episodes of Brooklyn Nine-Nine for the first time in a couple of years; and

I managed to get Cooper’s shit (literal shit) on my clothes while walking him last Wednesday.

Do you like The Hunger Games? Never read the books; as for the movies I’ve only seen the first and it was fine.

Random fact about the person you love/like? -

What would you do if your ex contacted you? Block the number. How many pets do you want? And of what? I’m okay with my two dogs, but not gonna lie I’ve always wanted to experience having another aspin. Cooper and Agi are fantastic and I have my own dynamic with both of them, but they were also never the type to pick a ‘person’ (they love and are trusting of everyone lol), the same way Kimi – who was part aspin – instantly picked me for all of his 14 years. I’ve always naturally gravitated towards aspins and I just miss having that kind of relationship with a dog.

Have you ever asked someone out? Yup.

Is the last person you kissed a virgin? Well, no.

Who makes you the happiest? BTS and my dogs.

Has someone smacked your butt in the past week? Nope.

Was your last kiss standing up, sitting down, or laying down? Pretty sure it was done standing up. What are your views on spontaneous human combustion? Interesting, but not sure I believe in it.

What was the last zoo/aquarium you went to? Oooh I can’t remember the province but I remember having a shit time because I just felt bad for the animals.

What does the last message in your Facebook inbox concern? Angela, Reena, and I were discussing the alcohol options we can have tonight when we have our sleepover at my place.

Who is your closest friend of the opposite sex? What’s the best thing about him? Probably Hans. He’s funny and has got great advice for everything. 

How did you meet the person you fell hardest for? It was in grade school and we had mutual friends who introduced us to each other.

What was the last alcoholic drink you had? Weng-weng.

What did you last take medication for? Just a Biogesic for a headache. What was your favourite thing about the person you fell hardest for? I can’t remember.

Are you a strong swimmer? Hardly. I struggle with just treading.

What is your favorite combination of colors? I like pastels or nudes combinations.

When was the last time you screamed out loud and what were the circumstances? Agi was on his way to eat Cooper’s shit so I let out a yell to scare him off.

Can you describe your father in one word? Hardworking.

What’s the first movie you ever recall seeing? Stuart Little 2.

Do you still watch movies intended for children? Of course. Isn’t that what Disney+ is for, and not for the original series or series reboots or Marvel movies? Hahahaha jk.

What was your worst fear as a child? Have you overcame that fear? Flying cockroaches, and no there is nothing in the world that would make me overcome it.

What’s your younger sibling’s name? Nina is one of them.

Have you ever had a churro? Yeah, many times in high school back when it was a fad lol.

How is/was your chemistry class in high school? Hated it, made me miserable, but also never gave a fuck about my grades for it because I knew I was headed to journalism school the year after.

What was the first thing you ate today? Tuna gimbap.

[angeliahuffman]

Oh my lord.

So I killed it in my last post.

Good old fashioned mic drop.

I’m at a loss for words if I’m honest.

Yeah. Anyways.

I woke up at 3 this afternoon . Untangled myself from a bunch of yarn so I could go pee. Went to smoke a stogie (cigarettes are bad, kids!). Hit my weed pen a few (12) times. And now I can get my day started.

I work at night. That’s the beauty of crocheting for a living. I ain’t gotta have a set schedule. My night owl tendencies ain’t gotta be out on hold cause I got a day time job. I can just be me.

Similar to being a stripper. Except paid way less. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Last night I repotted like five of these house plants wasq

around here. I love playing in dirt. I have a way with plants. They were so happy to have new homes that they were practically dancing. I’m so serious. The one that I was trying to encourage to root finally did. And then I just left it in the window for the next week because I got lazy so by the time I got back around to it it was screaming that it had drank way too much water. I haven’t checked it out today or any of the others but when I do I’ll post the pictures. I did get one of the baby plant.

See how it’s kinda yellow and the leaves are just kinda like 😖? That’s because it’s being overwatered. When I mentioned getting it to root earlier… that basically just means that I took one of the starts I salvaged from the rest of its dying mother, put it in a cup of water, stuck a piece of a plant fertilizer spike (plants need food too) in the cup, stuck it in the kitchen window, and talked to it occasionally when I was down there. Yes I talk to my plants. Idc try it. They like attention. You’ll notice a difference in their demeanor afterwards. They may even be greener.

So yeah… I’m a plant and yarn nerd. Don’t judge me. Look out for my next post so you can see what the plants i gave new homes are looking like 24 hours later.

Peace y’all.

[ohfuckohfuckohfuck]

my life is procrastination

The last…

time you swore?: FUCK. right now

time you said something you regret?: i say a lot of things impulsively but i don’t know if i regret it

time you did something you regret? whenever i was last intimate with a man

time you got in a physical fight?: never

time you got hurt physically?: pfffffft i am accident prone

time you got hurt emotionally?: i can’t answer this without sounding really emo

time you had sex?: dude... SO fucking long... by choice, obviously

time you had oral sex?: same

time you said I love you?: earlier today

time you cried?: i am a crazy person i am always laughing or crying

time you lied?: uhhh... i suck at lying.

time you were sick to your stomach?: i make myself feel sick all the time but i haven’t actually thrown up since january 2011

time you had your heart broken?: years and years

time you hugged a family member?: i really don’t do hugs unless it’s with someone i feel romantic/sexual about. autism ;)

time you screamed?: a few days ago into a pillow but i don’t know why

time you laughed?: probably like 5 mins ago

person you hugged?: damn... i don't know, which is kinda weird

person you kissed?: some dude last year, would not repeat

person you had oral sex with?: n/a.

person you had sex with?: one of the most annoying people on planet earth

person you fought with?: i don’t really fight with people. my friends and i may disagree about shit but i don't know about FIGHTING

person you cried over?: everyone, always

person you cried in front of?: maybe my best friend?

person who made you cry?: myself, of course

person you hated?: i don’t hate people like i used to but i hold intense grudges. i guess i hate my r*pist?

person you loved?: hehe probably my r*pist. gotta love that trauma bond

person you said I love you to?: my dad

thing you regret doing?: i guess drinking lots of espresso again was probably a mistake

thing you ate?: i only eat at night so uh... half a hot dog bun yesterday

thing you drank?: sparkling water

shirt you wore?: i’m wearing a black hoodie

swear word you said?: fuck

song you listened to?: “failure is the best revenge” by the vandals

thing you bought?: sparkly eyeshadow

fast food place you ate at?:  it’s been so long, i don't know? maybe in-n-out or t bell

alcoholic drink you drank?:  i’m gonna guess beer

drug you did?: weeds

tv show you watched?: game of thrones

movie you watched?: don’t worry darling. so bad :(

country you visited?: germany?

shoes you wore?: my sick ass neon and black sneakers i got for hiking

thought you had?: man i love those sneakers

website you visited?: this one duh

gift you bought?: a boring lil gift card for makeup

gift you recieved?: i receive many gifts

color nail polish you wore?: oof, i need to get my nails done

person you texted?: jason

time you cried yourself to sleep?: i literally cannot fall asleep crying

person you had a crush on?: a human that is not a robot

dream you had?: i was having a huge party and somehow told people we were gonna take a bus to nyc but then realized we weren’t in NJ, we were at my house in CA and that would take days

nightmare you had?: it was bad and sad

time you woke up in tears?: not a thing

time you felt so happy you cried?: probably something duck related

laughed so hard you pissed your pants?: i have pretty strong pelvic floor muscles, so... never

felt like you couldnt breathe?: whenever i last had an asthma attack

movie you saw at the theatre?: NOPE

movie you cried at?: basically i get so excited when i watch my all time fave movies that i cry but in a happy overwhelmed autistic way

time you felt vulnerable?: always?

time you felt loved?: i know i am loved

time you felt needed?:  i am always needed

time you felt ashamed?:  i am always ashamed jk but probably semi-recently

time you hurt someone unintentionally?: that’s one of my cutest autism quirks

person who made you laugh?: me

person who made you feel loved?:  my friends

place you had sex?:  hm... i think it was just a bed. kinda boring. but i was bored anyway. men.

time you showered?: earlier today

person you slept in a bed with and didnt have sex?:  last fall, some person

time you blushed?: all the time

person who made you blush?:  cute people

person who made you scream?: me

time you thanked someone?:  today?

[colliecan]

kinda a happy post

y’know what, rehab did do some good things for me, i saw a nutritionist there n that helped a good deal w ED stuff, i haven’t had a lot of issues since, especially considering how bad i was getting right before i went there; i got some time to think about harm reduction and like contemplate my relationship to drugs, n like i only drank a few times since i got back, and that was only bc i didn’t have weed, but i’ve been not partaking because i do make myself sick when i drink n would rather manage a lil extra money than manage my long and short term health. i haven’t thrown up in my sleep since, i haven’t had some stupid high heart rate and blood pressure, i haven’t had my body give out, and i don’t hide my usage out of shame, i use way more reasonable doses and care about my tolerance (like. drinks per night went from ~20 -> 8 on the rare occasions i have drank, and edibles per day went from ~50mg -> 10-30mg. i feel like a big part of that is realizing just how much i could slow down and still feel ok, esp w drinking bc i used to pound like 8 shots in 10min on a (freshly) empty stomach to start the night bc i wanted it to hit as quick as possible...), i stopped doing stupid shit i regretted bc again i don’t feel like i have to hide it anymore; i SH’d in rehab but i barely barely barely have since, i don’t feel like it’s useful since i’m not trying to avoid coping methods i prefer and i’m not shaming myself over my coping strategies n i’m getting better at not worrying abt other ppls expectations that i’m not fulfilling. def not to say everything’s dandy, i’m still miserable most the time, and i lost a lot of the functioning that i had in rehab based on it’s structure like regular cooking n a daily routine n way more human interaction n not having to worry abt family n having supportive friends irl n going outside regularly n being able to grocery shop etc etc, but i’m not actively harming/killing myself in my attempts to cope so that’s something right? even though i barely drink now i still choose to claim the title girlalcoholic bc i’m quirky and i feel like it says more about me lol. also i earned it fair n square. i barely remember this thought but it comforts me sometimes to think abt how without a lot of acclimation someone plopped in my shoes would kermit real quick, so it’s like i Am kinda tough in going through this even though it’s not something to brag about and i’d much rather Not(‘ve). one thing that i do miss is how much i was able to commiserate with fellow addicts online, but that’s changed mainly bc social anxiety reasons. also r/CA got privated so i can’t lurk there but i just looked n found an alkie meme subreddit n i forgot how relatable it is, i needed that

[kpostedsum]

high | d.m

summary: you find an unhealthy way of coping after draco cheats on you

warnings: drug use (marijuana) angsty¿, cheating, illusions to sex

song: habits - tove lo

a/n: this fic isn’t meant to romanticize drug use in any way. i also know nothing abt weed so LOL and very rushed & not edited

masterlist | taglist

I eat my dinner in my bathtub

Then I go to sexclubs

Watching freaky people gettin' it on

It doesn't make me nervous

If anything I'm restless

Yeah, I've been around and I've seen it all

you had a few minutes left of your charms class which was your last class before the weekend. you wanted nothing more than to get out of here and cuddle up with your boyfriend— who was enjoying his free period right now.

draco was one of the best boyfriends you could ask for, the frequent dates, gifts, and attention— it was more than you could wish for.

“you’re excused. you essays are due at the beginning of next week” snapes monotone voice dragged on as you quickly packed up your things and made your way to the slytherin common room.

I get home, I got the munchies

Binge on all my Twinkies

Throw up in the tub

Then I go to sleep

And I drank up all my money

Days get kinda lonely

entering the slytherin common room your eyes immediately searched for a certain blond boy, yet he was nowhere to be found. you made your way to the boys dorms in hopes of finding him there but you’re quickly interrupted by two familiar voices.

“why hello y/n, marvellous weather we’re having today aren’t we?” theo asked looking towards the ceiling and smiling as if he were outside, blaise blocking your path as he did so.

“i’m not sure what weather you’re talking about since we’re inside but i am okay thank you” you responded with a chuckle, trying to make your way past blaise.

“wait y/n” he stopped you. “can i borrow the astronomy notes? i would ask luna but i can’t find her anywhere” blaise continued.

they both seemed awfully on edge and anxious, you figured it was just quidditch nerves getting to them since there was an upcoming game this week.

“i have yet to finish my astronomy notes, but i did see luna in the great hall if you want her notes. now if you’d excuse me i’d like to see draco” you said trying to push past the two boys who still wouldn’t let you through.

“forget malfoy! let’s do something instead, we’re so much more fun than him, right blaise?” theo said giving blaise a pointed look as he threw his arm around your shoulder.

“right you are nott, let’s go!” blaise continued also throwing his arm around your shoulder and leading you away from the boys dorm.

“what? no, i have plans with draco. now excuse me” you said pushing them both off and heading towards dracos door.

as you get closer to his door you can hear heavy breathing, pants and skin slapping on skin. you’re confused, you figured draco would be taking a nap or running over drills for quidditch practice. the closer you get, the louder the noises become.

“pans, you feel so good”

you recognize that voice anywhere.

You're gone and I gotta stay

High all the time

To keep you off my mind

Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh

High all the time

To keep you off my mind

Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh

quickly you turned your head towards blaise and theo who had their heads lowered in shame, refusing to meet your gaze. “is this some kind of sick joke, are you guys pulling a prank or something because this isn’t funny” you said seriously not wanting to believe what you’re hearing from inside of your boyfriends dorm.

“we’re sorry, we tried to convince him not too but he wouldn’t listen” theo muttered silently.

it felt like your world was breaking apart slowly. just not too long ago you were excited to spend a weekend with your boyfriend who you loved so dearly, the same boyfriend who you’ve been dating for years, the same boyfriend who gets jealous about how much time you spend with his mum rather than him.

with shaky fingers you put your hand on the door knob and quickly pushed the door open, already preparing for the worst.

there he was, wrapped up with parkinson in the same bed you two shared not even twenty-four hours ago. her body straddling his naked, just like yours was doing the night before. you stood there frozen, mouth agape— not even knowing what to do with yourself.

“baby, i can explain, just please— y/n please don’t leave” draco said pushing pansy off of him, shuffling on his pants and reaching out towards you.

“dont touch me, malfoy!” you yelled and everyone froze. “you lost the right to touch me the minute you even thought of touching her” you continued sending both him and pansy a glare with tears threatening to slip from your eyes.

“darling please, i can explain—”

“no draco, we’re done just leave me alone, please” your voice cracking at the end as you pushed past blaise and theo rushing towards the girls dormitory.

Spend my days locked in a haze

Trying to forget you babe

I fall back down

Gotta stay high all my life

To forget I'm missing you

Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh

it’s been days since you last left your room, days since you last saw draco. daphne would come by and check on you but you’d always dismiss her, wanting to be alone. regret is one word to describe how you’ve been feeling— you gave him everything and he threw it away so carelessly for a quick hook up.

you missed waking up against his smooth skin in his embrace, tracing the lines and scars across his porcelain skin as you waited for him to wake up, the way he’d try to kiss you in the morning without brushing his teeth and you wouldn’t let him because of morning breath— but he’d still do it anyways.

you missed him, but he didn’t want you anymore.

maybe it was something you’ve done, you’ve been quite busy with work recently so you haven’t been spending as much time with him as normal. he was probably lonely and trying to seek the attention you lacked to give him.

getting up, you stared at yourself in the mirror picking yourself apart. you were pretty, it was a well known fact around hogwarts, maybe he thought she was prettier. she was the life of the party and always up for some mischief whereas you preferred to do stuff in silence and would rather be with a small group of people. maybe he liked how exciting she was in comparison to you, she probably brought a spark of excitement to his life that you couldn’t.

dreading to feel something you quickly showered and got ready to leave your room hoping to run into a specific set of twins.

Pick up daddies at the playground

How I spend my daytime

Loosen up the frown,

Make them feel alive

I'll make it fast and greasy

I'm on my way to easy

“well what can we do for you today” fred said to you with a cheeky smile plastered across his face.

“do you have any muggle herb left?” you asked in a low voice making sure no one heard you.

“maybe we do, maybe we don’t” george said. “how much are you offering in exchange though” he continued.

“ten galleons for three ounces, is that enough” you said pulling the galleons out of your pockets and placing them in george’s palm.

“it was a pleasure doing business with you” they said in unison as fred placed the tiny baggie in your pocket so no one would see.

once you returned to your dormitory you quickly pulled out the pre-rolled muggle herb, lit it and let yourself forget.

You're gone and I gotta stay

High all the time

To keep you off my mind

Spend my days locked in a haze

Trying to forget you babe

I fall back down

Gotta stay high all my life

To forget I'm missing you

you started showing up to class late with red tired eyes, not caring about the looks you got. at this point every one knew what had happened but you couldn’t bring yourself to care.

the muggle herb brought you a sense of bliss and freedom, a new feeling you haven’t felt before but something that you now craved.

“are you high right now?” draco said as he sat himself in the seat beside you.

“since when do you care about what i’m doing” you said sharply, not wanting to talk with him.

“love, you don’t smoke. who gave that stuff to you, i’ll kill them—”

“no you won’t.” you said turning towards him. “you won’t do any of that because you don’t own me and i’m not your girlfriend anymore. so mind your business malfoy, i’m sure parkinson’s waiting for you”

the rest of the class you both sat in silence working on potions that draco did most of since you weren’t in the correct mind state and he wasn’t willing to let his mark falter over your slip up.

you find it amazing how even when you’re on drugs he still looks amazing. the way his nose curves perfectly with a slight bump, and the way his hands move with caution as he pours the potion into the waste bucket.

“look, i’m sorry for what happened with pansy. it didn’t mean anything i swear, i don’t know why i did it but i regret it with my life” draco said breaking your thoughts, he looked older than normal and had dark circles underneath his under eyes. you wondered why he looked so distraught when he wasn’t the one who got cheated on.

“a sorry isn’t going to fix this draco” you told him. he knew you were right but he didn’t want to admit it. he hadn’t talked to pansy since the day you walked in on them, the guilt has been eating him up inside. he stayed silent and didn’t bother respond to you, he knew anything he said would have made the situation worst than it already is— but how he wished you were still his sweet y/n.

“now if you excuse me, i have some fun to attend too” you said leaving him alone as you made your way back to your dorm.

Staying in my play pretend

Where the fun, it got no end

Can't go home alone again

Need someone to numb the pain

You're gone and I gotta stay

High all the time

To keep you off my mind

over the last few weeks, you couldn’t remember the last time you were sober. you started skipping classes to smoke and avoiding your friends so they’d stop questioning your habits.

you were forgetting and that’s all that mattered, you didn’t care how it was affecting your health— it made you feel better. sometimes you wished there was another way, another way to forget how he held you at night pressing soft kisses to your skin, another way to forget the way he took pansy the same way he took you. you wonder if he feels as sorry as he looks, he’s the one who cheated so he can’t possibly care that much.

you hear two knocks at your door which quickly break you from your state making you more attentive, cleaning yourself up and opening the door. there stood draco— his eyes red as well, like hes been crying.

“y/n listen, i know what i did was wrong and that i tried to pretend it wasn’t me but please. i didn’t mean too, you mean the world to me. i miss you so much love.” he pleaded with you.

“y’know draco, i miss you too” you admitted. “but i’ve found a way to forget about you, maybe you should do the same”.

Gotta stay high all my life

To forget I'm missing you

-

taglist: @mauvea @teenwolfbitches28 @ilygw @nic0lodean @s1ater @henqtic @justreadingficsdontmindme @i-love-scott-mccall @harmqnia @gwlvr @alishahpotter

[lacheri]

11:29 PM, 4/20

pairing: stoner!Eren and fem bodied reader

content: smoking/drugs, dumbification, finger fucking, penetration, porn without plot, minors DNI

summary: eren's been trying to fuck you for years now, and he's got a different angle to play at this time. all it takes are a few pretty words and free weed.

wc: 3.5k

notes: happy 4/20 lmfao i wrote this in two hours and i'm posting this unedited and half asleep

‘Rolling up, you sliding through?’

Your phone illuminated brightly against your face as you held your phone above you, your bed’s soft comforter brought up to your chin. You bit your lip, contemplating Eren’s invitation. Your eyes glanced to the clock in the corner of your phone screen, blinking a couple of times. ‘11:29 PM’ it read back.

‘Pleaaaase, 4/20 is almost over ):’ Eren had resorted to double texting, and you sighed, his battle easily won. You tried to believe it was fought hard, but you knew perfectly well that you were wrapped around Eren’s pretty little finger. He called, you answered. Simple as that.

‘I want a blunt all to myself for this Jaeger. I’m literally in bed right now’ you typed back quickly, clicking the off button on the side of your device, begrudgingly throwing your blanket off your body as the heat escaped. You gazed down at your attire, sweatshirt and sleep shorts bundled up to your form, and you sighed once again. Eren was going to have to accept you like this, because there was absolutely no way in Hell that you could fathom throwing on real clothes this late at night.

‘What’re you wearing? Send pics’

‘Eren I’m LITERALLY!!! On my way to your house right now’. This boy was going to be the death of you, or at least whatever brain cells you had left.

Fuzzy pink slides adorned on your feet, hair thrown up in the messiest ‘neat’ bun you could manage, you pocketed your keys and wallet. You grabbed your bookbag in the corner of your room full of paraphernalia, knowing well by now that Eren was too lazy to buy bongs or bowls, and made your way out of your home, locking the front door on your way out. You hit the unlock button on your car, throwing the bag in the passenger seat and set out for your late night journey.

It wasn’t uncommon for your best friend to hit you up so late, in fact it was Eren’s peak hours for hanging out. He never genuinely inconvenienced you, just an annoyance because every single time you got that invite text or call, your head would have just hit the pillow beneath you, sleep on the horizon. Traffic was the best at this time too, you would reason on the way there, virtually no cars on the road, turning your usual twenty minute ride into a ten minute one.

When you rolled up Eren’s driveway, you could see the dark red lights of his bedroom through the upstairs window on the front of the house. You picked your phone out of your pocket, texting a quick ‘I’m here’. You grabbed your bag, slinging it over your shoulder and climbed out of your car. By the time you made it to his front door, Eren was swinging it open, a goofy smile on his face.

“Just us tonight?” you asked, referring to the lack of cars in the driveway as you glided through the entryway.

“Yeah, feeling greedy. We haven’t hung out just us in awhile,” Eren smirked, leaning back and letting his eyes travel down your spine as you slid by him. He reached and pulled the door closed, locking it quickly and following quickly behind you.

You spent most of your nights here, knowing the pathway to Eren’s room. You jogged up the stairs, oblivious to Eren’s eyes trained in on your bouncing ass in your loose fitted shorts. His bedroom door was wide open, and you navigated over clothes thrown haphazardly on his floor to his unmade bed. You bounced as you sat down, hitting the mattress with your full weight and unzipping your bag, picking out your favorite bowl. Eren lifted the corner of his mouth, clearly amused at how at home you had made yourself.

“Comfy?” he asked, a teasing tone to his voice as he joined you on the bed, rolling tray and jar of bud in hand.

“Mhm,” you hummed, eyeing Eren’s hands as they set quickly to work. His grinder sat on the bed behind him, and after picking out a few clusters of green from the jar, he reached behind him and popped the top off, going through the motions of getting prepped for the smoke session. “What’d you do today?”

Eren shot you a dumb founded look, “It’s 4/20, what do you think I’ve been doing all day?”

You rolled your eyes, throwing your hands up in surrender, “Just making a joke, asshole.”

He chuckled, extending his hand out so you could pass him your bowl, packing it not long after. Eren looked around his mattress for a lighter, eyebrows drawn together as he couldn’t find one. You smirked then, extending the black lighter you had packed in your bag, and Eren smiled gratefully. He flicked the lighter once it was in his possession, pointer finger resting over the choke as he placed the pipe to his lips, inhaling deeply as the fresh green turned to ash. He lifted his long finger off the choke hole, removing the pipe as he held the smoke in for a few seconds, eyes instantly glazing as he exhaled.

Eren was one of those smokers that the second he had a hit of weed, it was written all over his face that he was high, even if he wasn’t. When Eren picked up the habit in highschool, his parents knew instantly what the boy had been doing during his “study sessions” with his friends. Now that he was an adult and moved out of his childhood home, Eren was pretty free in his indulgences, no longer carrying around eye drops to try and help him appear as innocent as possible.

After his second hit, Eren passed you back your bowl and lighter, coughing lightly as he exhaled, “What about you? What’d you do today?”

“Not much, spent all day watching documentaries and smoking my vape,” you laughed lightly, positioning the pipe to your own lips.

Eren’s eyes drank in the sight of your pretty plump lips as they wrapped around the tip of the pipe, fingers copying his as you bent your finger over the choke. The lighter ignited after a single flick, warm colored flames illuminating your face. It was like Eren was watching you in slow motion, but it was always like that with you, even when he wasn’t high. He could see the fire in your eyes as they focused downwards to your actions, and Eren felt his mouth go dry. You pulled the bowl away, making eye contact with him as the smoke exited your lips, licking your face as it traveled towards the ceiling on your exhale.

The two of you made small talk as you passed the bowl back and forth, Eren making a face once the bud was dead. He packed another bowl, repeating the rotation until that one was dead. The two of you thoroughly fried, he put the pipe on his bedside table and leaned his back against the wall by his bed. You mirrored him, resting your head on his broad shoulder as the two of you enjoyed each other’s company.

“We should make edibles this weekend,” you suggested, fingers playing with the drawstring of your hoodie. “Maybe invite the group over and get zooted and play a game or something.”

“Zooted?” Eren snorted. “I haven’t heard that word in years, grandma.”

You shot Eren a glare, which he began to laugh at, “I’m hip, okay? Zooted is making a comeback.”

“Stop trying to fit in with the youth, Myrtle,” he teased, wrapping his arm around your waist to tuck you into his side. “Man, if I was only 50 years older.”

You lightly elbowed his side, “You wish you could bag 70 year old me. I’m a fucking catch.”

“I wish I could bag you period,” Eren confessed, probably for the hundredth time of you knowing him. “How come you’ve never let me take you out?”

“Because, you’d just fuck and dump me and then I wouldn’t have a plug anymore,” you pouted, purposefully snuggling in closer.

“Is that what you really think?” he asked seriously, positioning his neck to the side so he could look down at you.

You looked up, centimeters apart from his face, “That’s what you did with all the other girls.”

“But you’re my best friend,” Eren frowned, taking his hand and pushing your hair behind your ear. “I wouldn't do that to you.”

“Don’t know if I wanna’ really find that out,” you smiled sadly.

“C’mon, let me prove it to you,” Eren licked his lips. “Fuck me, right now, and I’ll take you out tomorrow.”

You felt a pulse in your pussy suddenly, gulping spit down as you broke the eye contact, “I don’t know ‘Ren. We’ve been friends since highschool, what if it makes things weird?”

“You can’t look me in the eyes right now and tell me that you’ve never thought about it, about us,” his voice was a hare above a whisper. “Because I think about it all the time. ‘Is why I hit you up all the time, I like you stupid, I always have.”

This confession was so different from all the other ones. Eren was practically begging to let him in between your legs on a weekly basis, ever since you had met him. Never once had he been this honest though, so genuine sounding about his feelings. He had a point as well, you thought about being with him all the time. You were always at his house or going out somewhere together, you spent all your free time with him, of course you would have feelings for Eren.

“If,” you started, your eyes blinking rapidly as you returned your gaze to his red ones. “I say yes, and things are weird after, we’re going to pretend like this never happened and we go back to being friends.”

“Deal.”

Eren’s lips crashed into your’s, any and all hesitation rolling off your body as you eagerly returned his kiss. His other arm circled you, bringing you in somehow even closer to him as your hands grabbed both of his cheeks, feeling the flex of his jaw as you smashed your lips together. Eren’s hand traveled under the hem of your sweatshirt to the small of your back, guiding you to sit in his lap. Legs on either side of his hips, your tongues slipped through the both of your lips, meeting in the middle.

Maybe it was the high, maybe it was Eren, but the throbbing in your cunt only expanded as Eren smoothed his hands all over the middle of your torso. They traveled up to the swell of your breasts, free from a bra, cupping both tits in his large hands. His thumbs slid and teased your nipples, hardening instantly under his touch. You arched your back, pushing your chest into his palms even more, your hips flicking as he tweaked your nipples between his fingers.

You both moaned into each other’s mouths at the roll of your hips, feeling Eren’s dick harden fast underneath your clothed center. Eren had been wearing a pair of thin grey sweatpants, leaving not much to the imagination while he was in this state. You felt his lips scrape against your bottom lip, pulling it into his mouth and sucking gently. He released it, a string of saliva linking to the two of you together.

“I’ve been imagining this for forever,” Eren’s eyes were glazed and deep red when you met his gaze. “I just never thought this would happen.”

“I’ve been wanting you too,” you admitted, your dirty little secret exposed.

He smirked at your confession, hands still toying with your breasts. Silencing you once more with his passionate kiss, he moved his hands downwards and to your back until he met the waistband of your shorts. He easily slid under the hem, gripping your ass in his palms, kneading and spreading you apart. You felt your pussy flutter, the indirect contact sending you into a deep pit of arousal, your senses heightened greatly.

It was like Eren could read your mind, and his fingers traveled to your spread cunt over his lap, running a finger over your slit over your panties. You whined, pressing your hips down to achieve a greater pressure from his hand, in turn allowing your wetness to seep through the cotton of your panties. Eren chuckled against your lips, reading your body language loud and clear. He pushed the fabric aside, allowing his knuckles to brush directly into your folds. You moaned into his mouth as he spread your arousal around your vulva. When his thumb bumped against your clit, you felt your patience snap entirely.

“‘Ren, need your fingers, now,” you panted, eyes half lidded as his kiss traveled to the underside of your jaw.

“You got it, baby girl,” he hummed into your skin. There was no resistance as he pushed his middle finger into your opening. “Fuck, you’re fucking soaked. This all for me?”

You couldn’t find your voice, nodding and whining out as he pumped his single digit into your pussy. His touch was slow, deliberate, trying to memorize every single ridge and flutter of your walls as you pulsed around him. Eren’s mouth was dry, dick hard and throbbing, completely lost in the feeling of you sucking his finger in deeper. He couldn’t comprehend the fact that his cock would be replacing his fingers soon, finally fucking you like he had imagined for years now.

His middle finger dared to pull out, and you let out a desperate whine, thinking that was his plan. You gasped in relief and pleasure as his ring finger pushed past your entrance, clenching tightly on his fingers. Eren found solace in this, perceiving your flutters as permission to go finger fuck you at an ungodly pace. He positioned his wrist as a more comfortable angle, and his fingers pumped inside of you at the speed of light.

Your eyebrows came together, mouth hanging open as you squeaked and whined, Eren’s other hand finding purchase on your jaw. He squeezed your cheeks together lightly, forcing your lips to pout as he maintained direct eye contact with you. His own lips hung open, and you could see your reflection in his blown out pupils. It only enticed you more, you looked heavenly. Eren couldn’t have worded it before himself if you had verbalized this, whole heartedly agreeing with you.

“You’re so tight,” Eren groaned out, his hand leaving your chin and slipping two fingers in between your lips. “Suck, baby.”

You did as you were told, Eren’s fingers slowing to fuck up into roughly, hitting your sweet spot over and over. Your tongue circled around his knuckles, lips vibrating on his fingers as your moans were silenced. Eren was thoroughly enjoying himself, seeing you completely under his control like this. You were putty in the palm of his hands, literally.

He slid his fingers out of your cunt so suddenly, feeling the gush of your arousal against your inner thighs as his hand left your shorts. His other hand fell out of your mouth, moving back to your jaw as you felt the wetness of your spit spread across your face. Eren brought the hand he was fucking you with to his own mouth, and you were practically drooling at the sight of him sucking your pussy juices off of his fingers.

“Delicious,” he cooed after he pulled them from his lips. “Just like I always imagined.”

You took this as your opportunity to remove some of your clothing. You tugged your hoodie over your head, tossing it on the floor. Eren followed suit, removing his own white t-shirt and reattaching his lips to yours. You tasted hints of yourself, not at all repulsed, in fact the exact opposite. You tasted sweet, tart but sweet.

You pushed yourself away from Eren, scooting off his lap in order to tear off your shorts and panties. Eren mirrored you, almost ripping his pants and boxers off as he slid them past his thighs and ankles to the floor. He remained in his seated position, eyes swirling and fingers twitching at his sides as he watched your crawl back to him. You placed a sloppy kiss to his lips before turning your body around, placing your feet on the mattress on either side of his lap. Sat in a full crouch now, you grabbed Eren’s cock, pumping him a few times with both of your hands in a screw motion. He moaned from behind you, his own hands gripping your ass cheeks to support your frame.

You guided Eren to your hovering pussy, teasing your clit, soaking him in your dripping heat. He cursed underneath you, his right hand moving to your hip as you lowered yourself on his length. Eren groaned loudly as the feelings of satisfaction and relief flowed through his body, his own heightened senses taking over. You moved to rest on your knees when you felt Eren bottom out inside of you, a string of moans and whimpers leaving your lips. You arched your back and Eren leaned back more, eyes stationed on your beautiful round ass.

“You’re so fucking hot,” he ran a hand up to the back of your head, untangling your messy bun so your hair fell free down your back. “C’mon baby, bounce on my dick.”

You lifted your hips, slamming down to his pelvis urgently. It was so overwhelming, the feeling of his cock filling you to the brim making your brain empty. Your eyes screwed shut, mouth hanging open dumbly as drool coated the swell of your lips. You bounced again, and Eren yanked your hair back as he watched your pussy stretch around him, close to snapping and drilling into you as he saw the creamy ring form around his base. You were a moaning mess, unable to think clearly as your body took over. Pushing all your weight into your knees and palms resting on Eren’s thighs, you fastened your pace, ass bouncing every time Eren’s fat tip brushed up against your cervix.

You felt the sharp sting on your cheek and heard the resounding slap of his hand on your right cheek, tears springing to your eyes, “Fuck, Eren, you feel so good.”

Taking your hips into his strong hands, Eren was finally at his brink as he thrusted hard up into. You yelped, letting yourself go limp as he slammed into your cunt at a dangerous pace. He was in full control now, fucking you into a stupor.

Your hand left it’s home of his thigh, traveling to your aching center to rub your clit. Eren’s position was perfect, rubbing the underside of his shaft against your g-spot. When you opened your eyes, you could see his toes curling, legs flexing and twitching. He wasn’t going to last long, your pussy putting him under a spell. You circled your clit with your pointer and middle fingers, throat raw from all the noises escaping you. All you felt was Eren, all you could hear was Eren, he was filling your entire being up, replacing any and all thoughts they may have lingered in your brain.

“Gonna’ cum,” you whined, fingers moving even faster.

“I’m so fucking close, fucking cum baby,” Eren growled, thrusts desperate and becoming irregular.

You stilled above him, a breathless scream heaving from your throat as you gushed around him. Your pussy clenched so tight, and Eren couldn’t hold back. Because as empty as your brain was, Eren was in the exact same state as he shot his thick load into you, filling your tight cunt up with his cum. You milked his cock, walls convulsing in your mind blowing orgasm. Black spots appeared in your vision when you realized you had forgotten to breathe, you took a deep gasp of air.

You were a panting, sweaty mess hovering over him. Eren was in awe, watching beads of his white seed leak out of your center. He’d worry about the consequences when his brain could comprehend what had just happened, but for now, the deep primal urge of filling you up was sedated. Eren didn’t think he could’ve imagined fucking you for the first time any better than this. And when you finally lifted your hips to release him, he felt a wave of sadness, your beautiful pussy no longer surrounding him.

“Did you, oh my God, Eren,” you lifted your hand in front of you, seeing the creamy white of his cum smeared on your fingers. “You came inside of me?”

“Sorry, baby,” he caught his breath as you turned your head over your shoulder to glare at him. “I’ll buy you Plan B in the morning, promise.”

“I’m on the pill, but still,” you huffed, letting the anger leave you as you realized Eren would take responsibility. “You didn’t know that.”

Eren laughed without humor, “Oh well, at least I know for next time. Now c’mere, wanna’ hold you while I roll a blunt.”

LACHERI © 2021: all writing content belongs to LACHERI. I do not allow reposts or translations. this is my only account.

[rebelwrites]

3 Is The Perfect Number (NSFW)

Jax Teller x Chibs Telford x Reader

co written with @chibsytelford girl we need to get another one written for out two fave Navy boys 😜

Saturday night only meant one thing, getting drunk, high or laid. Or even all three.

“Girl are you ready yet?” Lyla shouted upstairs.

“Gimme 5” you laughed as you shook your hair out before slipping on your timberlands.

You and Lyla were an odd combination, she was quite girly and you was the complete opposite. But somehow you were like peas in a pod.

“I will leave without you” she laughed.

“God I’m coming” you laughed taking one final look in the mirror, smirking at your appearance. Your cut off Nirvana shirt gave a glimpse of your cherry red lace bra and your shorts were cheeky.

Running down the stairs you hear Lyla whistle at you.

“Damn girl, someone is planning on getting laid tonight” she smirked.

“Too right, it’s been a hot minute” you sighed, you had recently come out of a very toxic relationship and was all about having fun. “Now let’s go because I’m gonna die if I don’t drink something alcoholic soon”

“Always the dramatic one” she chuckled as she locked up.

You and Lyla headed into the Sons clubhouse where the party was in full swing. The bar was the first stop of the night, flashing a flirty smile to the guy manning the bar you ordered 4 shots and 2 vodka and cokes.

“Cheers” you both giggled in unison, as you clinked the glasses together. The music was loud, the air was filled with the smell of weed , this was your kind of party. Slamming the glass down on the bar you and Lyla headed to dance in the middle of the floor.

As you swayed your hips seductively to the beat of the music you noticed more than one person had their eye on you. There was two people to be exact, and you knew them really well. Jax Teller and Chibs Telford.

A small smirk appeared on your face as an idea popped into your head, you just didn’t know if the boys would be up for it but you definitely was. The music changed and was more of an up beat tempo. Your hips gracefully moved to the beat as you winked at Lyla, dropping to the floor pushing your knees out, before bouncing back up popping you bum out.

If it wasn’t obvious you had gained the attention from Jax and Chibs, it definitely was now, as they stared at you opened mouth

“I need a drink” you laughed as you ran your hands through you hair, every action you did had a bit more effort in order to drive two boys insane. Slinking over time the bar you winked at Chibs before leaning against the cool wood and ordered a glass of whiskey.

“You gonna share that joint or what” you giggled holding your hand out to Jax.

“Lass ye surprise me every day” Chibs smirked placing his hand on the base of your back, and the flash of jealousy in Jax’s blue eyes didn’t go unnoticed.

Jax slammed the joint in your hand and you took a drag. You smirked, knowing full well that the blond haired, blue eyed man didn’t like the fact Chibs was touching you.

“Brother, can you grab me a beer?” Jax asked Chibs, and swiftly moved closer to you as the other man went off to find Jax a beer.

“What, do you want to touch me too?” You teased Jax.

The man didn’t waste any time and pulled you flush against him. Your chests were now touching.

“You knew fine well what you were doing, dancing like that” he growled ever so softly in your ear.

“I was only dancing” you giggled whilst innocently biting down on your bottom lip.

“Yeah, just dancing” he nodded running his tongue over his bottom lip as he took the joint out of your fingers.

Soon enough Chibs returned, standing behind you with his chest pressed against your back, he passed the beer over your shoulder to Jax before resting his hand on your hip. You was well and truly sandwiched between the two guys.

“Wanna dance Chibs?” you smirked, tilting your head to look up at him.

“With you lass, I’d do anything” he grinned squeezing your hip.

You knew before you started this master plan the chase would be fun, but now you was putting the plan in place it was hotter than you thought, having two guys getting jealous at the other ignited something in your core and you didn’t know how long you could keep it up.

You grabbed Chibs’ hand and dragged him to the middle of the floor. As you did that, you looked back to see Jax giving you both daggers. You waggled your finger at him in a ‘come here’ motion and he put down his beer and padded over.

At this point Lyla was dancing with her old man Opie not too far from you. You had Jax behind you, and Chibs in front, and god it felt good. The heat radiating from them both made you tie a bow at the front of your shirt, showing off even more of your red lace bra.

Jax put his hands on your hips, and Chibs held your shoulders and you held his. You shuddered at the sudden touches, you grinded against Jax, making sure not to leave Chibs out, by running your hands up and down his arms. The 3 of you completely lost in the middle of the floor.

“I think you are paying Jackie boy a bit too much attention lass” Chibs whispered huskily in your ear.

“We can’t have that now can we” you giggled as you spun around so Chibs was now behind you. Even from the loud music you hear the almost animalistic growl that left his lips as your ass ground against his groin. Jax’s eyes were completely hazed over, partly from the buzz from the joint and partly from lust.

“Red suits you baby” Jax winked as his fingers ran just under the material causing a breath to get caught in your throat.

Soon enough the song came to an end, and you was starting to get breathless from the dancing and the heat that was radiating from the boys. Lyla walked passed you rolling her eyes at the fact that you had both the president and Vice President on the club practically fighting for your attention.

“Darlin you are gonna have to choose who you want because you are driving me crazy” Jax breathed in your ear nipping it softly.

“Actually I don’t have to choose” you giggled.

Both men stared at you dumbfounded.

“What are you saying?” Chibs asked as he manoeuvred you back over towards the bar where it was a bit quieter.

“I’m saying, I don’t want to choose between you, because I want you both. Together”

This rendered both men speechless. They both looked at one another as if asking ‘should we do this’.

Jax was the first to break the silence. “Are you sure? You know we won’t go easy on you”

“I don’t want you to go easy on me, I’ve wanted this for a while, and tonight I thought fuck it, I’m going to do it” you were starting to become very confident and needy and you showed this by grabbing one hand of each man and leading them to one of the rooms through the back.

“A guess this is happening Jackie boy” Chibs nudged Jax playfully.

Letting go of their hands as you walked into the room, you had your back to them, in one quick motion you pulled you shirt off and started fumbling with the button of your shorts. After a couple of choice words your shorts pooled around your ankles. Stepping out of them you turn to face both guys, there jaws pretty much hit the ground as they drank in the little red number you was rocking.

Lifting your leg up into the bed you seductively ran your hands down your leg to untie you boot, quickly doing the same to the other one.

Looking over your shoulder, both Jax and Chibs were stood there staring, casting your eyes down you smirked at the tightness of both there jeans.

“Well boys” you whispered seductively “you just gonna stand there”

As soon as the words left you lips the Kuttes were off, clothing being tossed around.

Chibs was the first one to make a move, his hands ghosted down your sides, as he placed a few hot kisses down your neck, causing a small moan to escape your lips. Between the assault on your skin and feeling his hardness behind you, you felt the heat starting to pool between your legs.

Grabbing Jax’s chain you pulled him closer to you before slamming you lips against his so forcefully, your teeth clinked together. Your hands found there way into his hair tangling in the blond locks.

You knew by the morning you would be sore, tired and skin would be littered in little purple reminders of this night. One thing was for sure you knew you would be coming back for more.

Slipping your hand behind you, sinking it into Chibs’ boxers, you wrapped your hand around his length causing him to growl against your skin. A sudden chill ran across your chest causing your nipples to harden at the change of temperature, Jax took one of the hardened buds in his mouth making you moan, the feeling of him nipping, along side the hot kisses Chibs was placing down you neck was driving you wild and both of them knew that as you body squirmed under their touch.

“We haven’t even started yet love and ye are a whimpering mess” Chibs smirked against your skin as his hand slipped under the only bit of clothing left on your body.

Running his fingers through your slick folds, you felt your knees buckle under you, lucky Jax stop you falling. Squeezing your eyes closed as Chibs teased your clit.

“No open your eyes darlin’” Jax grinned looking up at you.

“Fuck” you breathed leaning back into Chibs as his fingers worked magic, you was coming apart at the seems and fast.

Soon enough you had been thrown on the bed, on all fours. Chibs was stood behind you and without warning slammed into you making you scream in pleasure. There was nothing gentle about his thrusts, each one hitting the spot every time. Whilst you was distracted Jax grabbed you face in his hands forcing you look at him.

“You gonna take my cock like a good girl” he smirked as he tugged on his dick.

Words were a struggle so all you could managed was a nod.

“Good girl” he winked as you took his hard member in your mouth, gagging every so often.

With every thrust it took you closer to the point of ecstasy, the high you was feeling was unlike anything else you had ever felt. Suddenly both boys stopped and pulled out causing you to whimper at the sudden feeling of emptiness.

“Ye holding in there lass” Chibs chuckled as he ran his fingers across your back.

“Yeah” you gasped, as Jax slowly slid into you.

The night was filled with many orgasms, a lot of moaning and screaming from all three of you.

Flopping back down on the bed you tried to catch your breath as Jax passed you a lit cigarette.

“Well that was something else” Jax yawned before placing a kiss on your bare shoulder.

“Hmm mmm” you mumbled.

“Come on lass lets get you cleaned up” Chibs smiled as he reappeared with a wash cloth. “Then we can sleep”

— — —

Slipping out of the room, leaving both Jax and Chibs snoring away, you went on the hunt for coffee. Lyla spotted you instantly smirking at the state your hair was in.

“Fun night” she winked passing you a mug of steaming hot coffee.

“Best night ever” you grinned as you sipped your drink.

“So the last thing I knew you had Jax and Chibs all over you and then all three of you disappeared” she said. Smirking at her as she connected the dots. “Wait BOTH of them?”

“Yeah both of them” you winked before turning your attention to the door.

“So that’s where my shirt disappeared to” Chibs laughed as he made his way over to you.

“You mean my shirt now” you smirked raising your eye brow at him as his hands found their way onto your shoulders squeezing away the tension.

“How you feeling’ this morning lass” he whispered placing a kiss on your forehead.

“I’m good” you nodded “but sore but so worth it”

You handed Chibs your mug of coffee to share with you. “You’ll need that after last night” you told him with a wink.

Jax was next to emerge from the room. “I was wondering if you was sneaking out this morning cause you regretted last night” he smirked as his blue eyes twinkled as he looked at you.

“I have no regrets what’s so ever, and I know you boys don’t either with the way you were both huffing my name last night”

Chibs spat out his coffee at your remark not realising Lyla already knew what happened.

“What, you think I wouldn’t tell my best friend about the best night of my life?” You giggled grabbing Lyla’s hand, and the coffee from Chibs and left the clubhouse to spill all the beans about the previous night.

One thing was for sure, you going to make it a habit. It’s true what they say 3 was definitely the perfect number.

[wisteriasxx]

a/n: had this in the drafts since tfatws finished streaming and I forgot to post it but here haha

18+

Warnings: Weed, mentions of alcohol, mentions of sex

Smoke sesh with Marvel characters 🍃

this one is for all my stoner marvel fans💕 just my thoughts on what it would be like to smoke with some of our favs✨

———————————————————————

Steve

Well considering Steve is a super soldier, he can’t get drunk or high..........BUT for the sake of this let’s just pretend he can ;)

It would probably take loads of convincing for him to even try the stuff

If he decides to try it, he’s only taking one hit.

High Steve is definitely just super chill, and really cuddly, he’s gonna grab you and just hold you for the rest of the night.

When it comes time for munchies he will literally eat anything, but his favorite snack when the munchies hit is Mozzarella sticks.

He’ll start talking about how things were back in the 40’s, including how crazy the youth is today with this stuff you’ve just given him.

Tony

We all know that Tony is KNOWN for being a party animal, so he’s definitely down for a lil sesh with the avengers

Tony definitely likes to drink more then he would smoking, but he’ll still smoke.

Probably owns a dab pen with indica for for his anxiety

Prefers indica but will settle for a hybrid (sativa and indica)

Gets really giggly and even more sarcastic when he’s high

Will not move from his current place of rest, someone will have to bring him food when the munchies come or he will complain the entire time

Favorite munchies food is potato chips

High tony will definitely accidentally start spilling your secrets in front of people, you might have to physically shut him up somehow

Thor

Will give you a funny look when you hand him a joint or a pen or whatever it is that your using.

He’ll understand that you smoke it, but he’ll think it’s just tobacco or something

Before you can tell him what it actually is he’s already taken a couple of big hits

Once you tell him what it is that he’s smoking and what it does, the only response you’ll get is “this tastes funny and it will have no effect on me because I am mighty”

Fast forward to ten minutes later of Thor being loud and laughing at everything and just being an absolute goofball

Will eat and drink everything in sight once the munchies hit for him

“Where can I get more of this midgaurdian herb!??!!?!!” He’ll yell from the couch

Like Steve, he’ll get grabby and just wanna hold you the entire time. If you’re standing he’s gonna stand behind you with his arms wrapped around you and his chin resting on ur head. If you’re sitting he’s putting his arm around you and pulling you close.

Definitely ends with him passed out on the floor

Natasha

When she sees everyone playing “puff puff pass”, she’ll roll her eyes.

“What are you guys in high school or something?”

She will insist that she wants nothing to do with it, but after tony makes some remark about it, she decides to prove him wrong.

After a hit or two, Nat becomes more comfortable, she becomes less uptight.

Likes to shoot out more sarcastic one liners then usual

Becomes very flirty ;)

She gets smiley but in a tired way

In fact, She doesn’t stay awake very long after she’s had a hit or two in her system, she gets too tired and calls it a night

By “calls it a night” I mean she basically droops onto you and refuses to move, you’ll have to move her if you want to.

Doesn’t get the munchies because she’s asleep before she can

Clint

Clint will take a hit or two, just because why not? He could use the relaxation

He’s super chill when he’s high, he keeps to himself

He’s quiet when he’s high, but that’s just because he’s vibing, he’s taking in the music or just simply listening to the nearest conversation.

Wears sunglasses the whole time because he doesn’t want anyone to see his red eyes

He doesn’t really get munchies, he just chills the entire time

You can’t tell if he’s asleep or if he’s just vibing

Will only give one word answers if you ask him something

Not the most fun to smoke with but he’s just chilling and minding his own business so he’s welcome.

Loki

Will look at you with irritable confusion when you offer him a hit

When you tell him what it is and what it will do to him he’ll simply ask, “why would I want to do that?”

He won’t do it in front of anyone, that would mean letting his guard down and becoming vulnerable

He will definitely try it later in private though

When he’s high, he’ll want you to join him

He’s still basically loki when he’s high, he’s just more relaxed

“This is quite nice I must say.”

There will definitely be a conversation about how he can’t believe this is what mortals do for fun

He’ll become a little more open with you because he’s more relaxed

He’ll become confused when the munchies hit, but after you tell him it’s normal he’ll go with it

His favorite munchie food is definitely popcorn

I’m gonna flat out say it, high loki has a higher sex drive

Gets lost in the moment type of guy

In his opinion, the weed helps him block out everything else except for you, and that’s why he likes it

His mischief meter also skyrockets, you thought normal loki was good at pulling tricks? Just wait till you see how creative high loki can get

Bucky

Bucky is gonna look at you like your crazy

Then he’ll remember that he is also crazy, and figures the weed might help ease his mind a little.

Bucky becomes more relaxed when he’s high, his guard has dropped a little, but he’s still aware of his surroundings.

He’s funnier when he’s high 

Smiles more which makes you smile because you think he doesn’t smile enough

He still does the staring thing when he’s high, but it’s not as intimidating now, there’s a softer look in his eyes and a small smile on his face

Will open up a little more about his feelings towards you

After his first time trying weed, he’ll get some cbd gummies or something on a regular basis to help relax him

When the munchies hit for him, he’ll eat anything, but his favorite munchie food is anything Italian.

He just wants to cuddle man

Wanda

Wanda is surprisingly chill

She’s more open, more humorous, and even nicer.

her magic can resemble her current state of mind if she wants it to

So when she’s high, her magic becomes really pretty and elegant, like it’s in slow motion

In fact, she glows a little when she’s high

She’ll make her magic do pretty things for your entertainment

Due to her magic though, I feel that her high wouldn’t last very long

For her, smoking is just a quick little get away from her mind, something that just takes the edge off a little

Doesn’t get munchies

Prefers indica

Peter (quill)

He’s never had earth weed, but he’s definitely smoked and drank all kinds of substances through out the galaxy

Definitely likes sativa

He’s down for whatever, he likes to try new things

He’ll complain about the taste, but then love the way he’s feeling in 10 minutes

He becomes very stupid when he’s high

He’ll turn his favorite music on full volume and just start doing things, he won’t be able to sit still.

He’ll try to do things to keep himself entertained, but he’ll be bad at doing them because he’s high

When later or the next day comes when he’s sober, he’ll look at the evidence of him trying to do whatever it was he was trying to do and be totally confused, but not surprised

When the munchies hit, he’ll eat anything he can find on the ship that’s edible

It will end with him passed out in some weird spot on the ship or wherever he’s at

He once got high and woke up cuddling with Drax-

Gamora

Will not smoke

The designated driver

The “chaperone” of the night

Sam Wilson

When you offer him a hit, he’ll be unsure and say something like “man I haven’t done something this stupid since high school, I don’t know”

But he says “screw it” to himself and takes a couple of hits

Becomes really smiley when he’s high, like the dude won’t stop smiling. It irritates Bucky.

Definitely will start singing out of nowhere, even if there’s no music playing

He’s also gonna tell crazy stories about his past, things from high school stories to military stories

He livens up the session for sure, after a few hits in, he makes it his goal for the night to make everyone happy and vibing along with him

When the munchies hit for sam, he goes straight for pizza. This man absolutely loooovesss pizza when he’s inebriated

Dr.Strange

Is obviously familiar with the substance

Definitely used to do it all the time in college (helped with the stress of med school)

Will question if it’s the best choice for everyone to be making right now

Most likely will not do it, it wouldn’t look good if the sorcerer supreme was getting high

You’ll ask him if he knows some kind of spell that can sober you up

He’ll tell you “yes” and proceed to hand you a water bottle and roll his eyes

He’ll do the portal thing above you and a bunch of your favorite snacks will land on your lap when the munchies come

He’ll take care of you once you pass out, carrying you to your bed or your couch or whatever and setting a glass of water near you before he leaves you alone

Scott Lang

Oh yeah, he’s definitely taking a couple hits

Prefers bongs

Prefers hybrid blends (sativa and indica)

This man knows his kush okay? Would not be surprised if he had a plug, or if he was the plug

Weed makes him more productive, he’ll start doing things and multi tasking, he’ll do anything from messing around in the suit to playing rock band

Chinese take out is this mans go to munchie food, nothing brings him greater joy then inhaling wonton soup or lo mein when he’s high

He’s bringing his friends too, there’s no arguing

Like Sam, he livens the session up

Somehow become bolder, dumber and flirty at the same time when he’s high

When he comes down though, he comes down hard, and sometimes literally.

He’ll pass out or fall asleep in the weirdest places, but he’ll be enjoying it and wake up feeling well rested somehow

Bonus cuz i think it’s funny ++

John walker

Will be all cocky about taking a hit, thinking it won’t affect him or that it’ll make him cooler or something dumb

Gets scared and paranoid

Starts literally tweaking and saying stuff like “they’re coming for me”

Freaks out because he can’t handle the kush in his system

Definitely locks himself in the bathroom and cries, calls Lamar to come pick him up

Ends up becoming a hazard for everyone, so Bucky has to knock him out cold

Will probably snitch on everyone for smoking just because he had a bad time with it and he’s just jealous that he can’t vibe correctly

[bugsy-maria]

Winchesters x Depressed Sister! Reader

@supernerdycookietrashblr Requested: I was wondering if you willing /comfortable to write this a Winchester brothers x sister reader where the reader is depressed harms themselves and feels like she not good enough and is a drug addict like does weed and other drugs drinks to relieve her pain and her brothers found out and are not happy it and the reader just not having it and doesn't want help and can't handle being lectured about her brothers so she runs away and overdoses and her brothers find her but in the end her brothers help her in recovery and it fluffy in the end

And can the reader age around 16-19 is up too you i hope this is ok for u if not I can change it

Age 16:

"You did well out there, kid." dean spoke from in front of me.

"We're proud of you." I felt Sam put his hand on my shoulder.

"Yay!" I squeak out with a wide smile prominent on my face. I got into the back of the impala, Dean in the driver's seat and Sam in the passenger. I rest my head on the head of the seat next to me and let the all to the familiar rumble of the Impala consume me.

I have been living with Sam and Dean for about 3 years. they saved me from a werewolf attack in an alley, and once they found out that I didn't have a home anymore they took me in.

I close my eyes, remembering the lies they just told me. I couldn't ever believe them because they always lie. 'we're proud of you.' what a load of crap. I did nothing but mess up the entire hunt and they have the guts to lie to my face like that?

Age 17:

My legs tread along the sidewalk, my knees barely bending from the cuts on them. my bag seems much heavier now and my legs are like lead. I flip my hood up as I walk into a gas station, leaving my bag outside. I walk over to the alcohol section and grab some bottles of the cheap whiskey that dean gets. I put the bottles of whiskey on the counter and take out my wallet.

"ID.," the cashier says in a monotone voice. I look up and show him the fake ID that Dean made so I could get better access to places during hunts. the man put the bottles in a brown paper bag before handing the items back to me.

I snatched the bag and quickly made my way out the door. I grabbed my bag and rushed off home. Sam and Dean are out on a hunt that I couldn't go on because I had finals. I make my way to my room in the bunker and drop my bag on the bed that I now only lay awake on.

I rummage through the bottom drawer of my dresser, though the pairs of pants are a small little box that holds probably the biggest secret of my life. I take the box and liquor with me as I make my way out of the bunker and into the woods until I hit a clearing where a cliff is.

my legs hang off the edge as I set my items down. I open the box and take out my little white roll of happiness. I light it with my black lighter and breathe it in. I sit there for about 10 minutes repeating the action before I one of the bottles I bought earlier.

I take a swing and feel the sting of the drink in my throat. I bring the joint back up to my mouth. It's been about two hours since I have come to the cliff. since then the sun has set and my vision has gone hazy.

~~~~~3 months later~~~~~

"Are you ok kid? we never see you around anymore." Dean sits in front of me at a nearby diner.

"Yup. I just haven't been getting a whole lot of sleep and the stress from school isn't making it easier." I rub the back of my neck. a forced awkward smile painted on my lips.

"Well if you ever need to talk about it we're here for you, y'know." Sam, who is sitting next to me, gives me a one-armed smile. the contact almost breaks me down, but I hold the tears for my room.

I just have to keep reminding myself that I don't mean that much to them as they do to me.

~~~~~2 months later~~~~~

"Drugs?!" Dean shouts I rub the temples of my head, the headache only getting worse with all of the yelling.

"Dean." Sam's voice came from a corner of the room.

"Of all of the things to do you chose drugs!"

"Can you stop yelling," I whispered out.

"Dean." Sam's voice came sterner. Dean, having finally taken notice, looked over at the giant in the corner of the room holding an empty bottle of whiskey. a heavy sigh escapes Dean's lips.

"You made a lot of stupid decisions."

"You think she doesn't know that?" Sam forcefully chuckled at the end. "We need to talk, don't go anywhere."

"Not that she can look at her, she can't even talk." the door clicks close. I let out a breath of air that I didn't realize I was holding. I looked up to see the items taken away. I knew this day was going to be coming soon so I made a stash.

I quickly stuffed what I knew id need for the next couple of days in a bag while ignoring the pounding in my head. I slipped out of my room and ran out of the garage. I ran into the woods and to the cliff.

once there I quickly drank a bottle of beer that I got the other day. I broke the bottle and grabbed one of the shards. if I wanted this plan to work I'd have to think fast. I tightly gripped the shard in my hand and carved a sigil in my forearm. I knew that once Sam and Dean saw that I wasn't in my room anymore they would try and get Cass to look for me. I wanted to be alone for the next few days.

I practically crank myself to death's doorstep, hours upon hours of smoking and drinking.

Age 18:

I sit at the table in the library working on a school project for AP Bio. to be honest I don't even want to be in any AP classes but ill take any college credits I can take.

"What's this?" I hear Dean's gruff voice fill the room. I look up to see him picking up my glass from the table.

"My juice?" I responded questionably.

"Apple, nice." he set it down i little bit embarrassed.

"You thought it was beer didn't you?" I saw even more blood rise to his cheeks.

"Maybe." he looked away.

"Dean you have to trust her a bit more than that," Sam spoke up.

"I know, but I don't want her to get hurt again."

"Dean, I went through that rehab hell for months, there is no way I'm going back." I chuckled out a bit.

"I know I'm sorry." he draped his arms around my shoulders, his chin resting on my head.

"You know we love you right?"

"Of course I do." I looked back down at my work,

"Good." he planted a kiss on the top of my head before, "Don't ever do anything stupid like that ever again, got it, kid?"

"Yes sir!" I smiled over my shoulder at him.

"Idiot." he playfully pushed my head down. I continued my work, wanting nothing more than to make them proud of me again.

[bowdawn]

short hope

Elain and Lucien share an honest conversation about their mating bond, their wishes, and haircuts.

Read at AO3

"You used to have short hair." Elain had not realized she spoke until the words left her mouth. Lucien jumped in surprise, almost dropping his tea.

They rarely ever spoke.

"I used to, yes. A long time ago." His voice was very sultry. Elain liked it very much, not that she would admit it.

"I know. I saw it." The past few months had been easier with their bond, she couldn't point out what had changed, only that something shifted.

"In… a vision?" He clipped his words, as he debated if he should ask her or not.

She drank more of her tea, nodding her head. "Why do you let it grow so much?" It wasn't that Elain disliked his long hair, quite the opposite. It looked silky, better than hers no doubt. She wondered some days if he would let her braid it and put flowers on it.

He probably would say no. Even if Elain knew inside her heart he would let her do anything she wanted.

Lucien didn't speak for a long time. "It's a long story. And not so pleasant." There was pain in his voice, and even if the bond was quiet, if Elain dared, she'd feel hurt too.

She didn't mind it anymore, the bond. Most of the time, she had cherished to have something with her always, as she had been too lonely, even when people surrounded her everywhere.

"I know. I've seen everything." And she did. Jesmida. He had loved the female. It gave her goosebumps remembering his yells and pleas to let her live.

Lucien's eyes shook. "You've seen it?" There was a sadness in his voice, Elain was certain she would be haunted by it later. He knew what it was to lose someone. Only, his pain was bigger than hers. "I'm sorry, my lady. I-" The teacup he was holding trembled ever so slightly.

"Come help me with the weeds. They've been pestering me for a while now and I need help." His discomfort took her breath away a little. This male that she had been shackled with. Her mate. She couldn't bear to see his pain. 

So Elain stood, leaving her tea unfinished by the garden's table and pulled her skirts as she walked. Lucien hastily followed her, his heart beating too fast against his ribs. Hers were no different.

At the spot, Elain knelt, not bothering with tools and gloves, and pulled the damn plants. Lucien looked at her for only a minute before pulling his pants that hugged his tights too perfectly - not that Elain had been looking - and knelt to the ground to help her.

They were not supposed to do any of this. Elain knew why Lucien had come. He wanted to talk about the bond, he needed to know what she wanted. He had told in the many letters he had sent to her. And since she had replied to none of them, he had come.

They stayed silent for a long time, wrought in their hands. Elain's mind was quite silent, leaving her usual anxiety at bay. She wondered if it was due to her mate being next to her. She could get used to it.

"You have traveled to a lot of places, haven't you?" She didn't cast him a look, only kept pulling weeds.

Lucien's hands were big and pulled more at a time, which Elain was very pleasant to discover. "My job requires that."

"And you travelled to the continent, right?"

He hummed at her, not bothering with words. Elain wondered why Lucien had such a tight tongue with her, when as a courtier, he could smooth any topic.

"I wanted to travel there once." Her voice was small, yet his fae ears heard every word.

"You can still go." And as he spoke, his hand enveloped on top of hers, helping her pull a stubborn root. Elain sunken in a breath, one that he noticed and quickly let her hand go.

After a moment she looked at him. "I wouldn't want to go alone. And I have no one to go with." She shrugged. 

Lucien's metal eye's zoomed on her, a frown hooded his eyes. "I'm sure if you ask anyone they would go with you." There was a restraint behind his words that Elain couldn't dismiss. She knew he meant himself, she averted her face for him not to see her blushing.

She began to pull the weeds once more, slower this time. Lucien followed suit. 

"Why did you let your hair grow so long?"

He scoffed, playfully. "If you don't like my hair long just say it." 

Elain rolled her eyes. "Why? Would you cut it if I did?"

There was a pause on his movements that gave Elain the answer. He would.

"The way I see it, as my hair, I get to keep it as I like." There was humor in his words, yet Elain knew the truth. Of what her opinion meant to him. She wanted to ask him why. Why did he care about her without not even knowing her?

Elain needed that answer more and more by each day.

Instead she grinned at him. "It's your hair, you should keep it as you like it." He nodded at her, dipping his hands underground again. "And I do like it long. It's pretty."

"Thank you." He said.

"I also liked it short. Both cuts suit you. Although short makes you look younger."

"Are you saying I look old?" The gasp on his face made her giggled. She liked it, the comfort teasing that was still new to both.

"You are over three hundred years. I'd say that's pretty old." Lucien threw dirt on top of her hands, just a small amount.

"I wanna see when you complete your first hundred. I wanna know if you will feel old as well." His words faded to nothing, as if he realized what he just spoke.

Elain laughed, biting her lips. "Of course I will be old. Just not as old as you." This time she threw dirt on his hands, earning her a chuckle.

Lucien was still quiet, bothered by what he had said. Elain didn't know how to reach for him. She didn't even know how they fell into this easy conversation, most of the time she avoided even speaking to him.

The pain in her heart, a constant for the past few weeks, reminded me why they needed to talk. Elain needed to know about Jesmida. Needed to know how he survived his loss.

"I'm sorry, about her." Elain sat on the ground, the sun glazing on top of them. Lucien didn't stop his work.

"I'm sorry you had to find out like this. Seen it, I mean. Feyre told me you didn't have any more visions, I didn't know... I'm- I'm just sorry." The sadness in his voice reached the bond on it's own. Elain could feel it then, the overwhelming grief.

"They were your family, weren't they? The ones that did it..."

He nodded.

"Why did they killed her?"

Lucien's hands kept pulling root after root, as if that was the only thing keeping him grounded. "Jesmida was a lesser fae. I'm a High Lord son, even if the seventh, even if I didn't matter. My father-" There was a hatred in his voice that Elain was surprised by. "My father didn't think forbidding us was enough. Killing her and banishing me was his way to show the court what really matters."

Elain's heart was pounding inside her. She could see a tear slipping from Lucien's eye. "You loved her didn't you?"

He nodded, sniffling silently, still working the land. "With all my heart. I thought-" He took a breath and looked at her, smiling sadly. "I thought we were mates. I thought she died before the mating bond snapped." He looked so apologetic, so concerned about what she would think that made Elain bite her lips.

"Why don't you hate me?" She whispered. If he truly had loved Jesmida with all his heart, how could he stand looking at her when he knew she was his real mate? Why didn't Lucien hate her the same way she had hated him when she lost Grayson?

Lucien sighed, he cleared his sweat and tears using his sleeve and went back pulling the weeds. "My life has not been easy. Growing up where I did, I had to learn to think quickly. I had to learn how to not behave as myself in order to survive. Then I lost her, and had to run to not get killed. I've been alone for so long, with endless meaningless people in my life. I had to fit in on a court that wasn't home. Remained not my home. I still cared and was devastated when I couldn't do anything to avoid it's end. I've lost a dear friend, who lost himself to madness. I ran away again, only to come back and fight in a war. I've been torture and not trusted. And I've been loved."

"When I felt the mating bond snapping, I didn't think. I was surprised. Jesmida had not been my mate. My mate wasn't even born at that time. Then they took you away and I felt despair. I felt guilty for a future I could have and Jesmida couldn't. I felt guilty that I clung into this bond as if it was breathing air, because it meant that I could find someone else. It meant I could love and be loved. It meant a home."

Elain listened to it without a word. The longing on his voice matching her own.

"So you see? I could never hate you, when I hate myself for depending so much on this. I'm sorry Elain, if this scares you. You have a choice in this, and I won't cross it. I will never do it."

He had not looked at her once as he spoke. Didn't see the silver sheer of her eyes as she held her tears. With trembling hands Elain reached for him and squeezed.

"Thank you." She murmured. Lucien looked at their fingers intertwined but did not move. "I was so lost for so long. This- This mating bond… I know what it means to you. To fae. I just don't know what it means to me. I don't know if I can love again, not after- not after Grayson." At hearing his name, Elain saw the hidden scowl on Lucien's face. "I loved him with all my heart, and he didn't. He made it clear he wanted nothing to do with me if it meant I wasn't human anymore. I didn't fit in his life anymore. And this bond makes me feel things..."

"I'm sorry." Lucien quickly added. She grimaced. 

"I'm sorry too. I don't know what else to say. Everything is just too much sometimes. I can't shut down my senses. I hear too much, see too much, feel too much."

"It overwhelms you." Finally Lucien moved, one finger, a small caress. It calmed her.

"Yes. And… I don't know who I am anymore. I want to find out. I need to find out. First, before..." Before she could think about this mating bond. Elain needed to know her first. Except, she didn't want to be away from Lucien anymore. After seeing his loss, she understood. He had been through so much, and still lived. Still hoped. She wanted that as well. Elain could learn how to live again, and Lucien would be there.

"What do you wanna do first?" He asked as if it was obvious, it struck her by surprise. Elain looked at him with wide eyes. No one ever asked her what she wanted to do.

Without really thinking, she answered. "I'd like to see the world a little first. I don't want to be this pretty thing that does as everyone expects of her. I want to live."

Lucien nodded, fingers caressing her hands without notice.

"And I think… I want you to be with me. I'm not ready to accept the bond, or explore it. I just want a friend, one that would be there for me, no matter how far I fall. And one that understood it, the loss. The guilt. The discomfort."

He grinned then. "It would be an honor."

She smiled too, her heart pounding. "And I know the bond is hard on you, but I would rather you to relax. You should be yourself with me. I want to get to know you. I've been ignoring and delaying this for too long."

He chuckled. "Only if you promise me to not shut me down or not speak to me." She slapped him without heat. "Good." His smile broadened. "Although I can't promise you how I would act all the time, the bond… it's a battle of powers inside me."

Again she blushed, another image crossed her mind, one that also had haunted her for a while. Lucien snarks on her ears, as he showed her the true powers he had as they both clung to themselves tight.

"Don't worry Lucien, I know you will excel."

"Do you, now?"

She nodded, pulling her hands away from his to finish their job. "Yes. I've seen the future." Their future, full of laughs, kisses, warmth and comfort. Of children and houses. Of gardens, and travels. Of love. Elain had seen a lot lately and it all gave her hope.

"Did you also see me with a short haircut? One that maybe you made me get it?" Lucien's humor was back, impossible to hide his smile.

Elain threw the root she was holding on his body. "I've seen you with braids and flowers all over it."

Lucien's heartily laugh warmed her heart.

[mymegumi]

STRAWBERRIES AND CIGARETTES

pairing: tsukishima kei x gn!reader

genre: angst

warnings: smoking, probably toxic relationships, stoner!tsukki, and swearing

word count: 1.1k words

note: might keep the new layout, might keep fucking around w it. i just wanted to try smth new hehe. also sorry my pieces are all over the place recently, i consider them breaks from my longer works

 Smoking wasn’t a habit that you really considered anything other than off-putting. Specifically when it involved cigarettes, because they significantly lowered one’s life expectancy and just weren’t all that aromatically attractive—you found men that smoked were not as attractive as literally anyone else.

Now, did you smoke occasionally when the week was just too rough and you wanted something to soothe the ache of loneliness that seemed to chase after you? Yeah, but at least it wasn’t a cigarette, of course.

So, when Tsukishima Kei walked up to you outside the bar as you were waiting for a ride, asking if you had a lighter on hand with a cigarette between his lips, you blamed the alcohol you’d just drank for pulling the lighter out of your pocket to light him up.

“Got a light?” The cigarette squished between his lips bobbed with every word he spoke, and your eye seemed to be drawn to the way his mouth formed each word.

You made a noise of affirmation, your throat had suddenly gone dry as you fished around your pocket for the lighter you’d just used at a friend’s house. Flickering it a few times, you held it out to him and watched him dip low to catch the end of it in the flame.

The fire cast a warm glow across his features, and you just watched the way the shadows licked and kissed across his cheekbones, the pale features of his face more accentuated since the bar’s lights added as a backlight. The flame of your half-empty red lighter reflected in his glasses, hiding his eyes minutely.

He leaned back with his cigarette now lit, the end red with embers and flickering softly as he breathed in, holding it for a second before he turned his head away to blow the rest of the smoke out towards the street. His jawline was as sharp as his attitude, so you’d learned, and with a few clipped words, he offered you little in terms of conversation.

Yet he didn’t turn you down when you asked for his number.

Since then, you’d forced yourself into his life in the smallest ways—usually just whenever he needed someone to provide a bit of comfort when the weed hit a patch of loneliness, or even to be there when him and Yamaguchi were too out of their minds to make good decisions.

You think it’s the way his smile seemed to grow softer when he got high, off of regular cigarettes just to get the edge off or smoking weed to feel lighter than air. The harshness of his face seemed to disappear the more he inhaled and exhaled, and just watching that process was enough for you.

Or so you’d thought.

Before you knew it, you wanted to watch him fall apart under your hand, to be nothing more than a follower of your religion.  Not for any malicious reason, but only because he was so guarded.

In a sharp contrast to Yamaguchi, who seemed much more outspoken and vibrant, Tsukishima seemed to keep almost everyone he didn’t know at bay. This included you on even your best days with him, unfortunately.

There was something about him that was so magnetic, however, and you could never seem to ignore the draw to him. The curve of his smile was better than any drug anyone could offer you, so you chased the high like an addict who didn’t know when their next fix was. And you didn’t know, really. You didn’t know when the next chance you’d get with him was because of how far he kept himself from you.

“Oi,” he looks at you with a strange gleam in his eyes, “did you hear a word of what I just fucking said?”

When he smokes, it’s always apparent that he came from a smaller, country town, his accent spilling from his lips as if he’d trained himself to sound like someone from the city. You consider it a blessing to know him like this.

“‘Course I wasn’t.” You mutter it under your breath as you watch Yamaguchi roll another joint, hands nimble and agile. You wonder idly when Tsukishima stopped using cigarettes—you haven’t seen him buy a pack in a while. “Y’know I don’t like to think too much when we smoke.”

Tsukishima had gotten the end of the last blunt, and was now smoking it idly while you waited your turn. He’d invited you over for a session with him, Yamaguchi and Yachi, though the latter was somewhere in the kitchen getting bottles of water for the four of you.

“Idiot,” he throws it out at you with no ill intent, before muttering something else that you can’t quite catch.

His hand grips your jaw, turning your gaze from watching your friend licking the paper to make it stick to itself. His eyes are a bit bloodshot, but otherwise alert, and if you knew any better, you’d see a bit of jealousy around the edges of his expression. Before you can even think to decipher the look on his face, and what it possibly means for you, Tsukishima is shoving a thumb on your bottom lip and forcing your mouth open.

Like a parody of the first time you met, Tsukishima leans down towards your face.

Opening his mouth, he exhales smoke straight into your slack-jawed mouth, his eyes never leaving yours. Your breath in is less of a reaction to him doing it, and more instinct as you reach a hand out to hold onto his wrist, as if needing something to ground you to this moment.

When he’s satisfied you’d taken enough, he lets his thumb drag against the bottom of your lip with a content smile on his lips, like a cat that got the cream. Your hand is still on his wrist and you can feel his pulse drum steadily against his skin, a rhythm of his body and his person.

“Don’t go looking at me like you love me, now.” 

And maybe he means it jokingly, but there’s a part of you that stills a bit, as if he’d just unearthed some great secret you’d been keeping from him. It’s hardly anything to hide, if the way you love him is written on your sleeve like you think it is.

“Who’s gonna stop me?” You whisper back, and the sharpness of his face seems to even itself out a bit as he leans over you, arm sliding across your shoulders and providing a soothing weight.

The familiarity and intimacy of it, combined with his last words to you leave a bad taste in your mouth, like a drink not mixed quite enough. Yet there’s nothing in you that wants to push him off, instead content to curl closer into the warmth of his body as Yachi comes back into the room, bottles of water in her hand.

If smoking cigarettes was Tsukishima’s bad habit, he was yours.