#steve rogers is an idiot

[no-not-without-you-blog]

Honey

Content Warnings: Sparring, Sexual Tension, Hair Pulling, Steve's an idiot.

Length: 5.5K

Please let me know if you like this! It's my first longer one-shot on here and I am nervous! Thanks!

Not Beta'd, just proofread by my husband, so fair warning!

Divider by @firefly-graphics

Sparing was always a favorite of yours. You loved how it was both a body and mind workout. You had to keep your mind sharp to plan out your next steps while still being present and focused on your attackers movements as well. Lifting weights and cardio were great but you would choose sparring over other workouts every time. Well, almost any other time. Today’s sparring list showed you paired with Steve. You had been on the team for almost a year now and he always pushed you hard. You knew it wasn’t personal, he wanted the team to be as strong as possible. Honestly, you didn’t think anything was personal when it came to your interactions with him. You seemed to fit in well with everyone at the compound and even had some great friends among them but your fearless leader seemed to be strictly business when it came to you. He seemed to be friendly with most of the others, some even more like family, but not you, sadly. Did you have a crush on the Captain? Maybe. But that was all it was ever going to be, a crush. He had no interest in getting to know you outside of work, it seemed. Was it something you had done or did he just not like you? No matter what the reason, you knew you were in for it today. He pushes hard and never lets up. You’re sure to be sore tomorrow.

You start running on a treadmill to warm your muscles up and after a good 30 minute jog you step off and start stretching to loosen up. About this time you hear the doors to the gym open and you look up to see Steve and Natasha walking in, laughing about something. You loved seeing him laugh because you didn’t see that side of him often and his whole face lights up when he laughs. “Morning guys!”, you say while sending them both a smile and a slight wave. Natasha, still laughing, smiles back. “Good morning Y/N.” Steve looks over seeing you smile at him and swallows, his smile disappearing almost instantly. “Y/N”, he says as he nods at you. Polite, professional, and completely impersonal. Your smile falters slightly and a slight sigh escapes you as you go back to stretching. 

Natasha, hearing your sigh and seeing your slight shift in mood, comes over to stretch with you. “Don’t take it personally.”

 “How can I not? He seems open to everyone else but I just can’t make any headway.”

  “You forget the rest of us have known him for a long time. He just takes a while to open up to some people.”

 You rolled your eyes and got up off the mat, eager to let out some frustration on the super soldier. You turned around to see Bucky and Steve lifting weights across the room. Walking over to the pair you hip checked Bucky who was spotting for Steve. “Hey B, are we still on for tonight? I got a new one for you that I know you’ll love.” 

You winked at Bucky, you two had been secretly watching old musicals together since you discovered you both loved them. He didn’t want everyone knowing that was what you watched together and had made you promise to keep them a secret. 

“Yeah Honey, I am down. I have an assignment this afternoon but I should be back by 9. Is that cool?”

 You smiled at him at the nickname he had given you. He called you Honey, short for Honey Badger, ever since he saw the comical video a few months after meeting you. You were small and sweet looking but you had deadly skills and were absolutely fearless. Your innocent looks and sweet personality made your brutality even more terrifying. Once the others had heard the nickname and the reasoning behind it, it became your nickname from everyone. Well, almost everyone, seeing as Steve still called you by your name. 

“No problem B, I’ll still be awake, just come by when you get home. Steve, are you almost ready?” You turned your eyes to Steve who was glaring at Bucky. 

“Yeah Y/N, always ready.” He said that while still staring at Bucky, trying to decipher your conversation. He finally looked down at you, sending butterflies to your stomach. The look he was giving you was one you couldn’t quite decipher, if you didn’t know better, you would say it was almost jealousy. But you did know better, Steve was a coworker and only that. He had made that clear over and over, much to your dissatisfaction. But you couldn’t help but be attracted. He was always so sure of himself and had a quiet dominance that made others fall in under his authority. You felt yourself get flushed under his gaze and turned away before your cheeks gave you away.

You both walked over to the sparring mats and circled for a moment, getting your heads into it. Steve was large and strong but straightforward in his attacks. His movements were all about efficiency and that was something you could exploit. You waited until he made his first movements, stepping forward and punching first right, then left, the right again. You easily dodged all of those punches and slid yourself between his legs, elbowing the back of his knee on the way, making him falter in his stance. You quickly stood up and jumped on his back placing him in a choke hold. He reached up and over, grabbing you and flipping you over, slamming you into the mat. 

You were out of breath but quickly recovered and stood up. This time you were the first to move, you threw a punch at him knowing that he would step back with his right leg and bend his left. You used his left leg as a step, launching yourself onto him, swinging your right leg over his shoulder. You instantly started punching at his face, hitting him multiple times across the cheek and jaw. He growled out in frustration and then did something surprising. He threw himself backwards, falling hard on his back and making you land on your stomach hard enough to knock your breath out. He twisted his body and straddled you, leaning over your body and pinning your shoulder down to the mat. He grabbed your ponytail and pulled it, not so hard that it did any real damage to your hair but enough that it brought your head off the mat as you panted. His body was pressed tightly down onto yours and he leaned down and whispered in your ear. “Not bad…Honey.” With that, he stood up off of you and walked out of the gym. 

You sat up, staring at the door he had just walked out of, dazed and confused at what had just happened. “Did he just call you Honey?” Nat walked up to you and held out her hand, pulling you up off the floor. 

“Ugh, yeah. I guess he did.” 

Nat smirked as she shook her head. “Oh sweetie, you got it bad don’t you?”

Your face instantly turning red. “What? No…no I don’t.” 

 “It’s okay. I don’t blame you for it. He certainly is a specimen. Not my type but definitely not bad.”  Having had enough of the conversation focusing on you, you turn the tables on Nat. 

“And what exactly is your type? Dark hair, metal arm, and curses in Russian?” You knew about Nat and Bucky’s not so secret relationship. They were your best friends and it was impossible not to pick up on the signs of their growing romance.

 “Okay, that’s enough from you. Go get cleaned up, you’re sweaty as hell.” She pushed you out the door and towards your room, laughing all the way at her apparent embarrassment. 

Steve slammed his door after making his way from the gym. His body was pumping with adrenaline and his head was full of conflicting emotions. He had let you get to him and he was kicking himself for how he had reacted. Since the first day he had met you, he had been so drawn to you. You were kind and bubbling with joy and yet at the same time, a fierce fighter and didn’t take crap from anyone. He had found himself on more than one occasion comparing you to Peggy and he hated that. He thought it was sick to be attracted to someone just because they reminded him of her. But as time went on and as he saw more and more of you, he realized that he was drawn to you, not some similarities the two shared. You were so kind but could instantly turn and be so fierce. You roasted Sam and Bucky within an inch of their lives and he loved seeing you let loose with the team on nights out, even if he didn’t feel confident enough to join you. He wanted nothing more than to be close to you but he didn’t know how. You were under his command and all he wanted was to pull you close to him and feel your skin underneath his fingers. It was better to just keep things professional and distant between you two. And that’s what he did, for the better part of a year, he was kind but cold towards you. That was until today. He had dreamed about you last night, feeling your body beneath his hands, hearing soft sighs come from your lips. He had woken up frustrated in more than one sense of the word. He had tried for so long to get you off his mind but he went to bed most nights thinking of you and woke up more times than he could count from dreams of you and him in bed together, sometimes just snuggling and talking…sometimes more. But always with the same effect, an intense longing for you that could only be partially satiated by his morning showers.

Steve sat on the edge of his bed with his head in his hands when he heard his door open and close and heavy footsteps walk towards him. “Well, that was one hell of  a workout. What was all that about? And since when do you call her Honey?” He looked up to see Bucky lean against his dresser, arms crossed, and a curious look on his face. Steve just looked at his best friend and shook his head in frustration. 

“Nothing… it was just nothing. I just got carried away in the fight.”

 “Steve, that didn’t look like “nothing”. And you still didn’t answer my question. When did you start calling her Honey? It’s not like you have ever tried to be her friend or anything.” 

Steve shook his head in frustration, “I’ve never called her Honey before, at least not to her. And I don’t talk to her outside of work on purpose.”

 Bucky looked at Steve confused, “What do you mean on purpo-“ pausing to think for a moment, “Are you fucking kidding me!?! God, I knew you were stupid, but this is a new level! Are you telling me that you have been shutting her out for a whole fucking year because you liked her!?!” Bucky was pacing by now and was clearly worked up over this. 

“Do you think we could bring down the volume and the language a bit?”  

 “No, no we fucking can’t. She thinks you hate her! She thinks that you can’t stand to be around her! For the past year she has felt ostracized by you and had no idea why! Do you know how many times I have seen her down because all she wants is to feel accepted by the team, the whole team. You. She has spent the last year trying to get close to you and you just kept her away. If you didn’t trust her or were annoyed by her, that would be one thing. I could understand that. But no! You are just a fucking idiot who can’t get his head out of his own ass long enough to tell the girl you like that it’s not her fault that you’ve cut her off!” 

There was a moment of eerie quiet while Bucky caught his breath and tried to calm his anger towards his closest friend. 

“How long?” 

Steve finally looked up at him. “What?”

 “How. Long?” 

Steve looked back down at the ground, picking at his fingernails. “Since the moment I met her. I fought the feelings for a while. I thought I was just seeing Peggy in her so I chose to ignore the feelings, but they just kept developing and after a while, I realized it wasn’t about Peggy, it was about her.” 

Bucky huffed out a breath and sat beside Steve. “Well you certainly have a type.” He laughed, thinking about the ways they were similar. “Kind-hearted, fiery, independent women who could knock you on your ass in a heartbeat.” They sat in silence for a moment. “So why did you never make a move? Why keep pushing her away?” 

It was the question Steve asked himself every day and every day he had to answer back with the same reason. “Because we work together. Not just that, but I am her leader. It could never work and I can’t risk never seeing her again if it didn’t work.” 

“Who says it couldn’t work? It’s worked just fine for me and Nat for months.” 

Steve shook his head at him, “That’s not the same thi- what do you mean you and Nat!?!” 

Bucky let out a short laugh. “Jesus, have you been living under a rock? Me and Nat have been together for over six months now. You obviously don’t see it affecting our work or the team. We separate work for personal and it works just fine. If we can do it, so could you. Honestly, dating someone on the team is better than someone that’s not. Who better to understand the stresses of the job? Someone you can actually talk to about missions. Someone who understands and accepts the crazy schedules. It’s twice as hard with someone on the outside.” 

Steve sat in silence for a moment, thinking about what Bucky had said. He hadn’t thought about the benefits of dating inside the team, only the cons. But clearly, some people were able to make it work successfully. “Six months, huh?” He nudged Bucky’s shoulder. “That’s a lot for you. I’ve never seen you with someone past a month. It must be getting serious.” 

“Yeah it is. We’ve been talking about moving in together. Still here at the compound, but into our place, ya know? I’ve never felt this way about someone and it’s terrifying but exciting at the same time.” 

Steve clapped his hand on Bucky’s back. “I’m happy for you, Buck. I’ve only ever wanted you to be happy. And I am sorry I didn’t notice before. I’ve just been so wrapped up in trying to fight this that I haven’t been a very good friend to you.” 

“Thanks man, I really am happy. But I’m not who you need to apologize to. She deserves the truth.” 

Steve put his hands back to his head and rubbed his temples, “I am just so terrified of her not feeling the same. You know I’ve always been a train wreck when it comes to women.” 

“Hey, the train thing is too soon.” Bucky said with a laugh. “But in all seriousness, and I didn’t tell you this because Nat will kill me. But she didn’t just want to get to know you to be her friend. I don’t think you will be disappointed.” 

You spent the rest of the day working on upcoming missions, opting to hide out in your office than to potentially face Steve. You weren’t quite sure what had happened at training that morning but it had been something. Natasha had tried to get more out of you about your crush on Steve at lunch but you wouldn’t say anything else. What was the point if there wasn’t a chance? He obviously didn’t feel the same about you and you had been holding out hope for a year. This morning had been interesting, but one small moment of attention didn’t mean anything, not really. 

You were looking forward to hanging out with Bucky tonight. Just watching a musical and stuffing yourselves full of junk food. It would be good to get your mind off of Steve. You were hanging out in your room around 8:30 when you got a text from Bucky. 

Bucky: Hey Honey, I am so sorry. This recon job just got extended and we won’t be back till tomorrow morning. Can I get a rain check for movie night?

 You instantly felt your mood drop. You needed tonight more than most weeks and you were excited for the movie tonight. He had chosen “Oklahoma” for tonight's musical and you hadn’t seen it in years and were excited to watch it again. 

You: Ugh. Fine! Sometimes being on this team sucks. You owe me big time Barnes!

 You send him the text and a Gif from the Godfather saying that he was going to owe you for the favor he asked. 

Bucky: Is that from a movie? 

 You: Oh dear God, we have so much work to do. 

You now realized that you needed to add other popular movies to your list. Geez, catching up a super soldier is a lot of work. You decided to take a bath instead for the night and had made your room and bathroom into what can only be described as a fireman’s worst nightmare. You had candles lit everywhere and had turned off every light possible. You loved relaxing by just candle light. It made you feel like you were truly alone, despite knowing that the compound was full of other people. You had thrown your hair into a messy bun on top of your head and you were relaxing into your deep bathtub, your one requested change to your room when you moved in. You love taking long hot baths, showers are great for cleaning yourself, but nothing beats a hot bath for relaxation. You had asked Friday to play your classical playlist. You loved so many types of music but sometimes soft classical music was just what you needed. 

Around 9:15 you heard a knock at your door and figured that it was Nat or Wanda. “One second!” You pulled the plug on the drain, pulled on your thin soft cotton robe, and padded over to the door. Opening it you were surprised to see Steve standing in your doorway “Um…hi.”

Steve had paced in front of your door for a few minutes, debating with himself if this was a bad idea, before finally finding enough courage to knock. “One second!” he heard you say and he waited anxiously for you to open the door, stopping himself from turning right around and running away. When you opened the door he almost lost his nerve. You were standing in front of him, hair in a messy bun and in what appeared to be nothing more than a thin cotton robe. He had to force his eyes to not trace down your body right then and there. “Um…hi.” 

It was clear to him that he was the last person you expected to be knocking on his door so late at night. He cleared his throat and started to speak. “I’m sorry for interrupting your night, I just thought we might be able to talk.” He looked back at her room, covered in candles and thought that maybe she was planning a romantic evening with someone. Shit. I’ve missed my chance, haven’t I? “But you obviously have other plans, I will just see you tomorrow. Sorry for bothering you.” Steve started to turn around when he felt your hand on his forearm. 

“Hey, no plans for me, you're welcome to come in.” You gave him a sweet smile which made his heart leap. He was nervous for the conversation he was going to have but couldn’t deny that being in your room with you like this was exhilarating. He stepped into your room and you closed the door, you brushed past him and walked further into the room. “Sorry about the mountains of candles.” 

He laughed at that. “I was gonna say, either you're having a romantic evening or a seance.” You let out a laugh. 

“No, no one but me here tonight, ghosts or otherwise. I just love relaxing in candlelight. It makes the world slow down for me. I am able to push off everything outside of this room and just be present here. Plus I like feeling like I’m in a regency novel sometimes.” 

You laughed heartily at this and the sound of your laugh filled Steve’s stomach with butterflies. How many nights had he dreamed about something like this. Just being with you, not even sexually, although there were more than his fair share of those dreams as well. But just getting to be alone with you and hear your laugh at something he said. You led him over to your loveseat sofa and he sat down on one side while you sat on the other, covering your lap in a small throw blanket, aware of just how naked you were under your robe. 

Steve sat there for a moment, not sure how to begin. “Steve…if this is about this morning, you don’t need to worry about anything. I wasn’t hurt at all. It was a good sparring session and you won fair and square.” 

Steve shook his head. “No, it’s not about this morning…not really anyway. This morning's sparring was…unprofessional of me, and I am sorry about that, but… God I don’t know how to say this other than to just come out and say it… I like you. I have for a long time and I realize that I have been cold towards you since, well, forever. It was just my dumbass idiot way to try to deny my feelings towards you. I can understand if you hate me for pushing you away but I couldn’t go any longer without telling you.”  

You sat in shock listening to his words and then stood up suddenly and started pacing your floor in silence, Steve nervously watching you from the couch. After a few minutes, you stopped abruptly and turned towards him. “I’m sorry, let me get this right. You like me? And because you like me, you have been pushing me away and essentially ignoring me for a year? Am I getting that right?” 

Steve sighed and his head dropped down to stare at the ground, picking at his fingernails. “Yes… and I have no real excuse. I was afraid to damage the team but when Bucky found out he about beat me upside my head.” 

You let out a huff, “As he should have. Jesus, Steve. For as smart and logical as you are, you can be a real idiot sometimes. God, you say you like me but you don’t even know me.” 

You were about to pace the room in anger again when you felt a hand on your arm turning you back around. Steve was standing in front of you, looking down at you with an emotion you couldn’t quite place, somewhere between terror and desire. 

“You don’t like sweet and salty foods to touch on the plate but you will mix salty things together and sweet things together. You love sitting out on the covered porch during a rainstorm. You hate chocolate without nuts because you think every bite of food needs at least two different textures, if not more. You love to cry at books but not at movies and you won’t watch something if it doesn’t have a happy ending. So you rarely go to see anything in theaters because you don’t want to sit through a movie without knowing that it’s going to end well. You hate running but you love hiking. Your favorite movie is Pride and Prejudice and you think that the 2005 version is pure perfection. You will tell people your favorite book is something academic but in reality you love trashy romance novels. You are best friends with Nat and Wanda and you see Bucky as the brother you always wished you had.” 

He paused for a moment and saw the tears growing in your eyes. You hadn’t realized that he gave two shits about you let alone saw all of that. His hand slid down your arm and he held your hand in his. “You are kind, and funny, and don’t take shit from anyone. You care so much about the team and would defend them fiercely. You always put others before yourself and you do your best to make everyone feel safe and noticed and loved.”

He used his other hand to tilt your chin up to look at him. "I know I fucked up by pushing you away and I understand if you don’t feel the same way about me but I couldn’t handle the thought of you thinking that I didn’t care or that I didn’t see just how wonderful you are.” He stared at you for a few moments before pulling away slightly. “I’m sorry for dumping all of this on you all at once. I’ll let you get back to your evening.” 

He started to walk towards the door and felt you pull his hand back towards you. He looked at you, momentarily taken aback by just how beautiful you looked in the flickering candlelight. A moment of silence passed before you shyly smiled at him and interlaced your fingers with his again. “Stay… I-I mean if you want. I was going to watch a movie with Bucky but if you wanted to…we could watch it instead.” 

Steve looked down at you, a smile growing across his face and he slightly bit his bottom lip, sending your butterflies flying. “Yeah… I’d like that.” You asked him to blow out most of the candles and settle himself on your couch as you went and quickly threw some clothes on. You came back into the room and settled yourself onto the couch as well. All Steve wanted to do was be close to you, to feel you wrapped in his arms, to smell your shampoo, but he knew to let you move at your pace. He had dropped so much on you so quickly and the fact that you weren’t raving mad at him right now was a miracle all on its own. He would take just getting to spend time with you. 

“So what are we watching tonight?”

Your face broke out into an excited smile. “Oklahoma.”

“You mean like the Rodgers and Hammerstein musical?” You were shocked at his awareness of it. It had come out years after he went into the ice and you doubted he had seen it since he came out. 

“Yeah…how do you know about it? Have you seen it?” 

“No, not really. I mean…well, sort of. The broadway came out in 1943 and I saw a few songs of it being previewed during my bond-selling days. One of the actors for it on Broadway was in one of those God awful Captain America movies they made back then. I was able to catch an off-broadway workshop of it a few weeks before I did my USO tour. I liked the little bit of it I saw.” 

You looked at him with a sense of surprise. “I don’t know if I am more shocked at you going to see musicals or jealous that you saw a Rogers and Hammerstein production before almost anyone else in the whole world.” 

He let out a soft laugh at that. “Well who do you think went to see all those musicals with Bucky? Do you know how many awful double dates he took me on to see a musical?” 

You turned towards him, now suddenly more interested in this than starting the movie. “You used to go on double dates with Bucky? What was that like?” “Oh God, it was the worst. 95% of the time Bucky ended up with two dates and I either tagged along pathetically or would skip out. Not many women took a second look at me, let alone enjoyed spending time with me. You’ve seen what I looked like.” 

“You were small, yeah, but I can’t imagine your personality has changed that much over the years. Still the same man who can’t help but stand up for others, can’t back away from a fight no matter how hopeless. Plus, short and skinny or not, you were still handsome then. You still had that look of being up to no good. Always a trouble maker, even then.” 

Steve’s face flamed in a blush and he looked down at his hands in embarrassment. You felt your nerves flipping your stomach over and over and felt your heart begin to beat faster as you moved closer to Steve, sitting on your knees right beside him. You hesitantly carded your fingers through the strands of his hair that had fallen down onto his face and then traced your fingers down the side of his face to the side of his jaw. He looked up at you, eyes filled with desire and nervousness. 

“Steve. Can…Can I kiss you.” You knew that he had effectively just laid out all his feelings for you, but you didn’t want to assume that he would just be okay with it.

He sat up, his face getting dangerously close to your own as he searched your eyes. “Yes… please.”  You hesitantly moved even closer to him, not believing that this could really be happening. He gently nudged your nose with his own, taking a moment to savor the feeling of you being so close. Finally, he closed the distance between you two. 

The kiss was gentle but full of so much emotion. Both of you were nervous but eager. You slid both your hands behind his head, while his hands found their way around to your back as they held you close. Your lips worked in unison and you found yourself biting and pulling on his bottom lip, desperate to get closer to him. He let out a gasp and pulled away slightly, placing his hands firmly on your arms. 

“Wait…Wait, Honey.” He pulled away more fully and stood up. “I think… I think that we need to talk about this.”

You instantly recoiled, feeling the sharp sting of rejection, tears starting to cloud your eyes. You were confused. Hadn’t he just confessed his feelings? Hadn’t you?

Steve could tell that you were confused and hurt. He sat back down and lifted your chin with his fingers, making you look him in the eye. 

“Hey, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. I just… I’ve wanted you for so long and I know that, given the opportunity, I would… be less than gentlemanly. I just want to do this the right way. You deserve to be wooed and I don’t want to skip any steps with you. I just don’t want to go too fast. I hope you understand.”

What had been a moment of hurt and confusion was now one filled with admiration and affection.

“Of course I understand. And I would like that, being wooed by you.” Your cheeks stained red as you spoke, the thought of Steve pursuing you. “So…  slow?”

He nodded his head. “Slow.” 

“Can we still watch the movie? And possibly cuddle a little?” You asked with a slight tease in your voice. You were being playful but also trying to be respectful of his desires. He laughed gently at you.

“Yes…please. I couldn’t think of a better way to spend the night. Well, I could but again…slow.” He said while giving you a playful wink, causing your cheeks to flame red once again. 

“Oh boy, you’re going to be trouble, aren’t you?” You asked him, laughing and shaking your head.

“Me? I’ve never been trouble.” 

You laughed, settling into his side and covering both your laps with a soft blanket while turning the movie back on to play. “I’m not sure Bucky would agree with you. Or Tony, or Natasha, or the US Government. Or-” He laughed again, “Okay, okay. I may be just the slightest bit of trouble.” He looked down at you tucked into his side, unable to believe that he was actually here, holding you close. His heart was fit to burst with the happiness it contained. He kissed the top of your head and gently breathed in your scent before turning his attention back to the movie you were now singing along quietly to. Perfection, he thought, this is absolute perfection.

[perlmutt-perl]

Oh, look, Mom and Dad are at it again. Poor Clint...

[unknowndrone]

Scott: so are you two dating?

Y/N: No, we’re just partners

Scott: So dating?

Y/N: We work professionally along side each other

Scott: Hope and I are partners, we’re dating.

Y/N: that doesn’t mean anything, Scott

Scott instantly realizing: Got it! I’ll give it a few more weeks

Y/N: Wha-Scott no!

[aagiijxbls]

Words from @buvkys

[zenaidamacrouras1]

Now posting weekly-ish on AO3:

History of American Capitalism

A Stucky College AU by ZenaidaMacrouras1

A College AU in which Steve is a small history major and Bucky is the ･✧∘* ✧･STAR QUARTERBACK･✧*∘✧･ Steve is looking forward to his History of American Capitalism Class, though he's not sure what to do about the extremely handsome ✧･Star Quarterback･✧ who keeps sitting next to him during lecture. Look, Steve is just trying his best. Unfortunately, Bucky is too. May include: Jokes. Pining. Thirsting. Adorable boys who don't realize they are in love. References to US cultural events of the 1800s. Information about American football. Adopted sestras getting all up into Steve's business. You don’t have to understand American football or US history to understand the fic.

Rating: E

Word Count: Maybe 70k?

Chapters: 20?

Beta party! All the love to @booksandabeer and my pal tenmilestilts (on ao3 not on tumblr) for all their very appreciated labor and thoughtful comments that make me like all my fics more.

[denebolablack]

Tony: *To Bucky* You cannot shoot every single person I've dated that you don't like!

Bucky: *Raises an eyebrow*

Tony: Okay, you technically can, but you shouldn't. Come on, Steve! Help me out here!

Steve: *Amused* Idk babe, you always tell him to use his free will, and that's exactly what he is doing.

Tony: *Frustrated* I'm so done with both of you, absolutely done.

Bucky: Don't say that doll *Pushes the genius into his lap* I'll behave if you spend some quality time with us, ¿hm?

Tony: *Squints* I feel like I'm being blackmailed but I'll allow it just because you're hot.

Steve: *Hugs the pair of brunettes* Oh so you are with us just because we're hot?

Tony: Right now? Yes. Now shut up and kiss me cuz I'm still mad at you.

[lovestony16]

[imposterogers]

I never realized…… bucky never shoots. the noise is from the rocket launcher, which is why steve ducks. seeing steve and hearing his own name was enough to stop bucky in his tracks. not only did he know the man on the bridge, but it completely overrode all programming almost instantly

[stucky-headcanon-bot]

☺️

[steveandnatlover76]

Wanda: I heard that Natasha is completely into Steve!

Steve listens intensely.

Yelena: Of course, she is. I shouldn’t say that about my own sister, but she often has these sensual dreams about him. It‘s sometimes hard to share a room with her.

Wanda: If only Steve made a move!

Natasha enters, Steve jumps up.

Steve: Oh…hi, Nat! Say…wanna go on a date with me?

Natasha: Oh…sure, Steve. I‘d love to.

Steve *whispering*: And I won’t make you pine anymore. Promise!

Natasha: Huh? …Okay.

Yelena: We should have done that a long time ago.

Wanda: He just needed the right ideas!

[cuddles-with-dragons]

Avengers incorrect quotes?!

Steve: You disgust me.

Clint: *eating a kitkat sideways* I realize this and don’t care.

Thor: I will send my army to attack! Thor: *releases a dumpster of raccoons*

Thor: You know, there's something weird going on with your face? Natasha: What? Thor: You’re smiling! I didn't know you could do that?

Natasha: I’m never donating blood ever again. Natasha: The second you walk through the door, it’s just one invasive question after another! Natasha: ‘Where did you get it?’ 'Why is it in a bucket?’ I mean, do you want it or not?

Steve: What can therapy do for me that screaming in my car for 30 minutes can’t?

Bruce: There's nothing worse than people using big words they don't understand. Steve: I photosynthesize with this.

Clint: We have a problem. Steve: Let me guess, you caused it? Tony: Gimme a sec, I'm not drunk enough to listen to this yet. Bruce: And it's another Tuesday, your point? Natasha: Would shooting you solve this problem? No? Then shut up. Thor: If you mean the fire, that's our solution to last week's problem.

Thor: If this plan goes down the drain, where should we regroup? Bruce: The afterlife, I guess.

Bruce: I'm gonna need a human skull but you can't ask why. Clint: Only if you also don't ask why. Clint: *pulls four pristine human skulls out of his bag* Bruce: ... Bruce, grabbing a skull: This one will do.

Bruce: Throw lamps at people who need to lighten up, and throw handles at someone who needs to get a grip! Clint: Throw a refrigerator at someone who needs to chill! Tony: Throw scissors at someone who needs to cut it out! Steve: Throw a clock at someone who needs to get with the times! Natasha: Throw matches at someone who needs to get fired up! Thor: Throw a brick at someone to kill them.

Bruce: If you got arrested what would be the charges? Tony: Theft. Thor: Disturbing the peace. Steve: Aggravated assault. Natasha: Arson. Clint: All of the above. In that order, probably.

Tony: Are you trying to give me a fucking aneurysm? Natasha: Pretty sure we all are. Bruce: I wasn't. Thor: I was. Steve: I was trying to stop them, for your consideration. Clint: I just cause aneurysms naturally.

Bruce: Go and tell Tony why you insisted on putting a normal-sized carrot in a bag of baby carrots. Clint: Bruce: Do it, tell him what you told me earlier. Clint, stuttering: I-it's because... th-they need adult supervision... Tony:

Tony: Your smile? It makes my day. Pepper: Your happiness? I live for that. Natasha: A room? Get one. Thor: Hotel? Trivago.

*The Squad is on a hike* Natasha: It’s beautiful out here. Steve: And quiet. Tony: Too quiet. Clint: Did we lose someone? *cut to Thor with a bear in a headlock*

*Something crashes* Tony: Shoot- Steve: *running into the room in a panic* WHAT FELL?! Thor: *walking by the room calmly* What died?

Kidnapper: I have one of your friends. Tony: Which one? I have seven. Kidnapper: The loud, annoying, rowdy one who never shuts up. Tony: Which one? I have seven. Clint, distantly: HEY!!!

Thor: I wasn't injured that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal, that's where the blood's supposed to be!

Bruce: I hate taking off my glasses, because without them, my vision goes from Full HD all the way down to buffering at 240p and I just can't handle that.

Thor: I WOULD DESTROY THE WORLD FOR YOU GUYS! Bruce: Okay, can you do the dishes? Thor: No!

*at a zoo* Thor: What are they in for? Steve: Thor, this isn't prison. Thor: So they can leave? Steve: No, but- Thor, pointing at a meerkat: I bet that one murdered someone.

Bruce: I just want someone to take me out. Natasha: On a date? Clint: With a sniper gun? Thor: Both if you're not a coward.

Thor, Clint & Bruce: *screaming* Natasha: *runs into the room* What's wrong, Bruce?! Thor: Wait, why are you asking Bruce that when Clint and I are also here? Natasha: Because Bruce wouldn't scream unless it's an emergency. You two scream whenever you have the chance.

*Squad reactions to being told ‘I love you’* Thor: Thanks fam! Clint: Oh no. Bruce: *cries* I love you too. Natasha: Sounds fake, but okay. Steve: *A flustered mess* Tony: Can I get a refund?

Thor: *trying to buy a Father's Day card for Odin at Hallmark* Thor: Excuse me, do you have any that just say "You are my dad?" Associate: Well, I- Thor: How about "You impregnated my mother?" Associate: No... Thor: You know what, I'll just get a blank one. Thor: *writes* You are a father. This is a day. Here is a card.

Steve: Accidentally indulged in too much ‘free time’, turns out I've been reported missing for over sixty years and presumed dead by most local and national authorities.

Clint, bleeding out on the ground: Blood loss? No, I know exactly where it is.

Thor: What did you order this morning? Bruce: What do you mean? Thor: I heard you answer the door, and I sensed food.

Clint: .. .----. -- / … --- .-. .-. -.-- (translation: I'M SORRY) Natasha: What's that? Clint: Remorse code. Natasha: I'm even angrier now.

Bruce: Synonyms are weird because if you invite someone to your cottage in the forest, that just sounds nice and cozy. But if I invite you to my cabin in the woods you’re going to die. Tony: My favorite is explaining the difference between a butt dial and a booty call. Clint: It’s called connotations. Steve: Try this one on for size, “Forgive me, Father, I have sinned” vs “Sorry, Daddy, I've been naughty." Natasha: Great news! Language is now banned!

Loki: Twilight Sparkle was the main character because she represented the element of friendship— Clint, tied up: PLEASE, I JUST WANT TO SEE MY FAMILY AGAIN! Loki: I'M NOT DONE! Loki: And Rainbow Dash was the sporty girl—

Natasha: I’d kill someone if you asked me to. Steve: I’m pretty sure you’d kill someone even if I didn't ask you to.

Tony: Hoodie pockets are so great. I can fit like three sandwiches and a grenade in there and my hands are still warm.

Clint: We need a distraction. Steve: Is anyone here good at jumping up and down and making weird noises? Thor, whispering: My time has come.

Steve: Do you have a bobby pin? Natasha: Yeah. *searches in her hair* Natasha: Oh, no, wait. I’m not a nine-year-old girl.

Bruce: New challenge! Don't say stupid shit for 24 hours!

Bruce: So oxygen went on a date with potassium, it went... OK. Tony: I thought oxygen was dating magnesium, OMG. Bruce: Actually oxygen first asked nitrogen out, but nitrogen was all like NO. Clint: I thought oxygen had that double bond with the hydrogen twins. Natasha: Looks like someone's a HO. Tony: NaBrO. Steve: I'm done with all of you!

[no-not-without-you-blog]

Whumptember 6th: Afraid he's Angry

Warnings: Language, Yelling

Prompt by @comfortcap

It wasn’t often that Steve got well and truly angry. He prided himself on being able to keep a relatively level head about most things. While he would sometimes seem impulsive in his actions, in reality, he was just so sure of his morals and beliefs that making decisions to do or not do something came lightning fast. He may get frustrated, or ticked off, but really truly angry? That was something that happened very rarely. 

But hot damn, was he fuming right now. You had made him a Buttermilk pie with pecans on it. It wasn’t something that he had grown up eating but once he had tried it, he wondered how he had ever lived before it. It was crunchy and creamy and sweet. It was what he always asked for and he guarded it like it was gold. He had finished an evening workout with the newest recruits and was going to reward himself with the last slice of pie. He had been saving it for tonight and was excited as he went to the communal kitchen to retrieve it from the fridge. He had placed it on the bottom shelf at the very back with a note on it that it was his and to keep away. However, as he looked around the bottom shelf, it was nowhere to be seen. Trying not to jump to conclusions, he thought that maybe someone might have moved it to a different shelf. He searched the whole fridge from top to bottom but couldn’t find it.

“Goddamnit! Who ate my pie!?!?!” He yelled loudly while slamming the door. He stomped down to Tony’s lab and swung open the door, making Tony and Bruce jump in the process. “Did either of you eat my pie?” They both made shocked faces at him and shook their heads no. He glared at them and then decided that Bruce has a terrible poker face and Tony would gladly own up to it if he had, just to irritate him further. He stormed out of the lab and went on the hunt again. Thor was off world and  Wanda and Clint were still gone on a weeklong mission, so it wasn’t them. Rhodes was allergic to nuts, so it couldn’t be him. He figured the movie room was a good place to look for the others. He stormed his way there and had Friday pause the movie and turn up the lights. He stood in front of Nat, Sam, and Bucky with his arms crossed intimidatingly. “Okay, which one of you assholes ate my pie? I left the last piece in the fridge, clearly marked as mine and to leave it alone and it’s now gone! I swear I ask for one thing!”

“Steve…” Bucky said with an unusual look on his face.

“Don’t ‘Steve’ me! I swear to God Bucky, when I find out which one of you ate it, there’ll be hell to pay!” 

“Steve!” Bucky decided to yell it again, finally stopping Steve’s angry rant.

“What!?!” He yelled. Bucky pointed behind Steve and he turned around. Standing behind him, having just walked out of the bathroom was a very pregnant and very scared looking Y/n. You had tears in your eyes and looked like you were about to fall apart at the seams. At that moment, Steve’s anger deflated and he dropped his head and cursed under his breath.

“I-I’m so sorry. I knew that you w-were saving it but I hadn’t had a single piece and it was all I could think about all day. I’m so sorry, Steve.” By this point you had started to cry and Steve instantly wrapped you in his arms. 

“No, I’m sorry baby. I shouldn’t have yelled like that. Not at anyone and certainly not directed towards you. It’s just a piece of pie. And you and this baby are worth so much more than anything else. If you were craving it, I totally understand.” He sat and continued to comfort you for a few minutes before you finally had the crying under control. “Do you forgive me for yelling?”

You sniffled and smiled shyly. “Only if you can forgive me for eating it.” He smiled and kissed your head. “Already forgiven. Although you can always make it up to me.” Natasha, Sam, and Bucky booed and made gagging noises. 

Steve rolled his eyes. “Not like that.” Then looked to you, winked, and softly whispered, “Although, I am not opposed to that as well.” 

“I just thought that maybe tomorrow you could maybe make a new pie?”

You thought for a moment before answering. “Fine, but I’m going to make two. One for you to hoard, and one for everyone else. It can’t always be just for you, Steve.”

He laughed and then responded. “I don’t see why not? It’s my wife who makes them because I like them. I think they should be just for me.”

“Steven…”

“Okay, Okay. I’ll share.”

[stuckysnugglebutt]

Ok, so I just did a brief A03 search, and I didn't get any hits, so I am presuming this doesn't exist yet.

I'm gonna need someone to write a Captain America and BBC Ghost mash-up. It could be set during CATFA, and the Howling Commandos could be quartered at Button House during R&R in England or between missions for the SSR when they are reporting/coordinating with Col Phillips, et al.

This obviously needs to be a Stucky fic. They could meet the Captain while he is alive and stationed at Button House. This would open up some interesting convos/interaction among the Captain, Stucky, and Havers.

The potential for a time jump to the present day is there as well. Cap (with or without Bucky post WS) could revisit Button House on a mission or to stay at the B&B (or both). Then, he encounters the Captain as a ghost in the present day, which has the potential for a lot of great scenes.

Anywho... there you are writers....a great scenario/writing prompt for you. Go forth and write b/c I need this badly in my life!

[randomstuffjustrandom]

We’ll cross the bridge when we get there

The avengers and shield agents together struggling on a difficult save the earth mission

Steve: *worried* what are we going to do about the giant freaking monster headed for us when we can barely keep away the small ones

Natasha and Clint: we’ll burn that bridge when we get there

Daisy: Don’t you mean cross the bridge when we get there

Phil, Melinda, Maria and Nick, whom all had to deal with their shit: No they do not

Natasha and Clint, with flamethrowers somehow: No we do not

Sorry I haven’t been able to post good stuff lately. I have a lot more on my plate with PSLE this year

[amarriageoftrueminds]

thinking about how before catfa was released there was some scepticism about if Captain America would work for modern audiences.

a lot of people not really familiar with the comics thought his character was too old-fashioned and outdated and would not be relatable in the 21st century.

fast forward and after making several movies showing Steve does in fact belong in modern times they end his arc by sending him back to the 40s, proving those ppl right who thought he was too outdated for our times.

what was even the point of all his movies?? i know the answer it to make money.

but even from a business point of view it's mind boggling that Disney was so careless and put so little thought into how they ended the story of one of their most popular characters of the first 3 phases that now a good chunk of the audience believes Steve is some racist and sexist guy.

i'm sure they'll bring him back one day, either for some avengers multiverse nostalgia fest or when they reboot the MCU, and it won't have the same effect because Steve just isn't as beloved as he used to be. not that i care about the success of this soulless megacorp but i'm still baffled after all these years about how stupid his ending was.

The entire point of Steve is that he was a main out of time in his own time. He was ahead of his time. Which is why he does work, (and why he is needed!) in the future. Whenever that future may be.

I'll tell you what it is... the people in charge of Steve in the MCU are exactly as ignorant of the character as people who don't know anything about who Steve is in the comics. (I.E. the 'well he's wearing the stars and stripes so I assume he's some kind of jingoistic pro-imperialism figure and therefore I don't like him on sight' crowd, closely related to the 'well he's polite and neatly-dressed and not a dick for attention, so he must be a boring goody-two shoes boy scout type' crowd.) Wrong on every count!

Markus & McFeely think the way to 'do' Steve is to make sure we know he's straight, while love of Bucky, relationship with his other men, and his passion for fighting fascism, are all reduced to the status of footnotes in a story whose only question is 🙄 '...yeah yeah, fighting Nazis is fine or w/e but when is he gunna get a girlfriend??'

So they don't see anything amiss in an ending where Steve goes (back in time) to get a girlfriend. Because they think that was the only relatable or important thing about him. Making sure the handsome hero is just like them!

And why they also don't see anything amiss in him being a walk-on part in a Mary Sue/Captain Brexit story. Because it's just more of the 'Steve's only important trait is heterosexuality' narrative. 🤷‍♀️

(As far as they're concerned, stucky was an embarrassing and completely unintended side effect, something they want stifled by any means necessary, and when it comes to Steve being as full blown antifa as he is in the comics- oh, well, we musn't alienate the Republican shareholders/CEOs/customers. Walt Disney himself would be completely on board.)

[heli0s-writes]

hullo my favorite writer did you see the tumblr post about steve growing up with chronic pain and him registering pain as just a part of living and simply existing and did it FUCK you up as much as it fucked me up *wail*

i can just imagine him coming home with broken ribs and bruised up everywhere and reader's upset so he tries to comfort her like 'babe it will literally heal by tmr morning' but she's still upset and he doesn't quite understand why *wail pt. 2*

and the fact that he's constantly getting injured as cap so he still experiences chronic pain even with the serum i can't—

to quote one of your magnificent works...

"Steve’s shield symbolizes the kind of idolatry you want to destroy some nights.

Hijack the ivory points of your lover’s brilliant star and stab him to death with it.

Well, sort of. Maybe just within an inch of his life—a quick reminder that there’s more to him than being humanity’s moral paradigm and savior. That the immeasurable world he’s sworn to can exist in smaller spaces because sometimes he forgets."

You and Steve get bodyswapped (magic, I know, ridiculous) and you start clenching up, wincing, before looking at him (in your body, oh the mindfuckery) and grit out, "Is this your daily?"

He can't make eye contact because it is, but he grew up with it, you know? The human brain is so resilient, so crafty in how it convinces the body to regulate. He learned to live with it. He lives it still-- it's fine, seriously.

But no, Steve, chronic pain isn't fine. It's not normal at all. It shouldn't have been for you back then and it shouldn't be for you now.

Big emotional turmoil for everyone involved but it simmers down, Steve promises he'll get it checked out for real after this is sorted. He's so damn shifty about it, but you want to believe him.

And then a few days later, when you're still stuck, and you take his body out for a spin to kick some ass, you come back to the tower pissed because the serum made him strong, and it made him heal fast, but it didn't make Steve feel pain any less.

Getting shot is getting shot is getting shot. Landing from a 25 story fall into a pile of glass breaks bones.

Bucky walks next to you, pats you on the back and you can't even freakin' form any words because Steve isn't just reckless, he's categorically suicidal.

All you can get out is, "Is he gonna stop?"

Bucky's first instinct is to say no, because has Steve ever stopped for anything? Steve is all forward motion, all the time, but then Bucky remembers the way he softened the other day. The way you teared up when you yelled at him for never speaking up and even though you were swapped in each others' bodies, Steve's expression in your face was unlike anything Bucky had ever seen.

Bucky squeezes your shoulder.

"He might for you."