#steven..best interviewer ever.

[rolesreversed]

it's always something with these two

[addelaidesupreme]

I'm watching a video essay about a game ive been interested in playing. The creator of the video, who has crossdressed multiple times, makes a "women arent funny" joke, and i suddenly realize ive never witnessed him acknowledge a woman in an uplifting way before.

I'm on a dating app for lgbt+ people. I've stated multiple times on my profile that i would rather lose an arm than recieve nudes without consent. I will be sent five dick pics for every 2 people i talk to that night.

I'm talking with my dad, who informs me he's been trying his best to learn about trans issues. He says the same things steven crowder brings up when trying to ridicule trans people. I gently but firmly correct my father and get told that ive been fed propaganda.

I'm on instagram, under the comments of a post ridiculing someone for being a misogynyst. Someone's left a comment saying "it must be hard being a woman on the internet" and i respond "it is." I will have every aspect of my appearance scrutinized as a reminder that no matter how well i pass, it will never be enough for someone with bad intentions.

I'm back on that dating app for lgbt+ people. I'm messaged by an attractive looking person, but i can see their partner prominently displayed in all but their main photo, oftentimes striking what im sure they thought was a very intimidating pose. Their bio says "looking for a third for our anniversary." I know that even if I did feel up to it, the gruff partner wouldnt approve of me because i don't pass.

I'm at a job interview for a clothing store. I tell the gracefully-dressed woman interviewing me that ever since i began my transition, i've discovered an interest in fashion, and that this job would allow me to dip my toes into the industry in a safe way. I'm told that i've reduced womanhood to a stereotype, and i can tell by her tone that i lost any chance at the job the minute she realized i was trans.

I'm at the same hospital i got facial feminization surgery in, trying to figure out what's wrong with my bowels. When the person behind the desk gives me a wristband with my patient info on it, i notice a single, lonely, letter M. I ask a nurse in private why it would say that despite me having changed it nearly a year prior. They say they have no clue, and bring in paperwork for me to fill out and have it re-changed again.

I'm living with my mom at the time. I'm new to transitioning, and decide to try my hand at voice training. It feels a bit off, but otherwise im feeling neutral toward the whole thing. I try speaking in this new voice to my mom and she laughs. Now, when people ask if i intend to voice train, i find speaking at all difficult for minutes after.

I didnt have some sort of grand message to convey by this. I just had a thought and then that thought spiralled into whatever the hell this became. Some, okay most, might call it complaining; they are right to do so.

[milk-is-stable]

WELCOME one and all to the first ever Shoot from the Hip HUNGER GAMES

All credit to this post from @suggestegg for this idea! Let's see what happens when we put the SFTH children into a Hunger Games simulator...who will come out victorious? Notes on methodology and how to follow along are under the read more

THE REAPING

From District 1 (Luxury Items), we have Janusz and Alexa! From District 2 (Weapons & Military), we have Caesar and Juliet!

From District 3 (Electronics), we have Johnny and Janae! From District 4 (Fishing), we have Jasper and Julian!

From District 5 (Electricity), we have John Hobson Jr. and Jim L! From District 6 (Transport), we have Benjamin and Clarissa!

From District 7 (Lumber), we have Michael (And So it Begun) and Priscilla! From District 8 (Textiles), we have Jimmy and Scottish Robin!

From District 9 (Grain), we have Hugh and Inga! From District 10 (Livestock), we have Marty and Peter Steven!

From District 11 (Agriculture), we have Pinocchio and Maria Clarissio! And finally, from District 12 (Coal), we have Chip and Sally Xavier!

Who will fall? Who will triumph? Follow along and find out! Happy Hunger Games, and may the odds be ever in your favor!

Tribute Interviews (next)

Masterpost (full story)

More info below:

How this works: The hunger games simulator generates random events/deaths on an in-game day by day basis. I have not altered the settings of any of the characters and left it totally up to chance.

I'll be making a new post for each "day" of the games where I reveal in written form what the fate and status of each character is. Each post will have the previous days linked, and eventually I'll have a masterpost of the whole games for easy access.

Methodology: There are lots of different simulators out there, I used this one from simublast because it was easy to use/understand.

For assigning characters to districts, I followed a rule that if the characters came from the same longform, they'd be from the same district, and then I assigned everyone districts based on what tied in the best to their respective characters/longforms. If anyone's curious about why I chose the districts for each characters, let me know! Maybe I'll write a little explanation post if enough people are interested.

Now, that being said, a standard hunger games roster is 24, and to my surprise, there are actually over 24 SFTH characters who are 18 or younger, so I did have to leave a few out (such as the bartending son from Death for a Dollar, Sam and Justin from Beetroots & Murder, or the siblings from Too Big to be a Jockey), so if anyone else would like to do something this themselves, please do so, and tag me because I'd love to see it!

Let me know in the comments who you're rooting for to win!

[asimplearchivist]

𝓢𝓹𝓮𝓮𝓭 𝓓𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓰

𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐑𝐘 𝐈𝐈 𝐨𝐟 𝐗𝐗𝐕

[𝓪𝓼𝓲𝓶𝓹𝓵𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓬𝓱𝓲𝓿𝓲𝓼𝓽'𝓼 𝓶𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽] [ 𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐍 𝐊𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐓 ] AO3 | SPOTIFY | PINTEREST summary ☾ ⤏ you're down in the dumps about the disheartening lack of prospective romantic partners interested in initiating a long-term relationship with you. your ever-helpful coworker amy decides to give you (and a highly interested would-be suitor) a nudge in the right direction—just not in the way you might expect. pairing(s) ☽ steven grant/reader-centric | constellations!verse word count ☾ 4.8k a/n ☽ ⤏ my second entry for the moon knight bingo hosted by @juneknight and @spacecowboyhotch over at @moonknight-events. I will eventually crosspost this to the main fic for constellations on ao3 when it will best fit the chronological progression of the chapters. this takes place post-chapter ii. ⤏ this takes place right before chapter two while steven is preparing for his interview, so before he works up the nerve (courtesy of both his agreement with and coertion from marc) to ask you out. ☽ MASTERPOST ☾ ☾ PREVIOUS ENTRY ⤎ ☥ ⤏ NEXT ENTRY [TBA] ☽

“I can’t believe I let you talk me into that, Amy. What was I even thinking?”

“You were thinking of living a little instead of hermiting away in your flat like you do every conceivable chance you get—you look absolutely stunning, by the way! Tell me how it went!”

You hunkered in on yourself, folding your arms around your torso and pursing your chapped lips. The humid, dusk breeze hurtling through the street tugged at the hem of your dress, the cardigan draped over your shoulders doing little to fend off the early autumn chill. You’d texted her while wrapping up business at the bistro a block over and had walked over to the coffeeshop to clear your head after the entire ordeal and to check in before heading home.

“Horribly,” you said flatly. “I took one of my few vacation days and was subjected to an hour-long lecture on the growing value of cryptocurrencies before being asked if I intended to give up my career once I found a spouse—like I’m just spending the money on uni for funsies.”

“...Oh.” Your coworker’s face creased with equal measure of shame and sympathy. “My flatmate told me he was a decent bloke, save for a couple of rocky breakups the last year or so—I had no idea he was a wanker to boot…and probably at fault for those situations to start with, since that’s the case—but I should have given it more thought before roping you into it. That explains a lot about what little I heard about him. I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright,” you sighed and leaned against the humming lamppost at your back, “you had no way of knowing how he’d be in person, and you were trying to help me step out of my comfort zone a bit. It was kind of nice to have an excuse to dress up and go out for a bit, if nothing else. He insisted on paying, too, even if it was an underhanded attempt to woo me…so no money was wasted on my part, at least. I was going to buy myself a pint of ice cream on the way home to distract myself from the crushing reality that no one worth the effort could ever find me attractive and want to pursue a meaningful, long-term relationship with me, but now I’m not so sure. I’m exhausted, and I couldn’t even get a word in edgewise for a solid twenty minutes—I just did a whole lot of nodding along and ‘mmhmm’ing.”

“Firstly, you should treat yourself—I’ll even pay for it since you were the one who had to tolerate all that shit, undoubtedly like an angel because I know you and you’re a painfully polite person—and secondly, I’m not going to unpack…all of that statement, but I am going to tell you right now that you are a prize who deserves the best treatment a girl could ask for and shouldn’t have to. You’re worth it, even if you don’t feel like it—don’t try to deny it, I’ve heard all those little self-deprecating comments you’ve made over the months—and I’m sure there’s someone out there just dying for you to grant him a chance at making you the happiest woman alive.”

“I’m sure—he’s liable to just walk around the corner at any moment.” You rolled your eyes, but your expression softened into one of gratitude when you spotted the conviction on the barista’s face. “...Thank you, it helps to hear that occasionally. Maybe one day I’ll believe it, too.”

“Of course. It’ll stick eventually.” Amy opened her arms to offer you a hug, and you accepted it gratefully. Cheek pressed on top of your head, she rubbed and patted your back in a few soothing sweeps before releasing you and stepping back while drawing the shop keys out of her apron with a grin and a lingering gaze toward the main plaza across the street corner. “...But I honestly think you’re a little more oblivious than I thought if you really haven’t noticed.”

“What do you mean?” you asked, brow furrowing as you fiddled with the thin leather strap of your crossbody resting across your chest. Had she changed topics without you realizing?

“It’s a wonder what a little…gentle prodding can do in the long run,” she continued idly, eyes glittering with mirth as she twirled the jangling keyring on her finger and returned her attention to you. “There’s a reason I talked you into all that—well, besides getting you out on the town for an evening, of course. I think primping yourself did you a lot of good—you’re glowing.”

You blinked and opened your mouth to question her further, but approaching footsteps captured your attention due to their familiar scuffling cadence. You turned and spotted Steven’s slumped silhouette emerging into the ambient, watery light casting a cone around the coffee shop’s entrance. He’d already spotted you, evidently, and his face lit up in an infectiously warm smile as you recognized him. You found yourself returning the gesture subconsciously.

“Hello, mate,” Amy chirped, waggling her fingers at him. “How’d the application process go today? Did you pass the assessment?”

“With flyin’ colors!” Steven crooned, his back unfurling as his shoulders pushed back and his chin raised. He came to a stop near you, hands tucked into his pockets as his chest pressed forward against his otherwise gargantuan jacket. “The lady who looked it over seemed shocked that I knew so much, but that just goes to show you—I told ‘em for months that this ol’ noggin’ of mine wasn’t empty!” He knocked his knuckle on his temple with a toothy grin.

“You’ve got a sponge for a brain, darlin’,” you told him with a chuckle, reaching out and squeezing his elbow affectionately. His eyes softened as he refocused on you, his smile smoothing into a closed-lipped one. “I think you could talk circles around all those stuffy professors at the university, honestly—half of them haven’t updated their sources since the nineties. And it’s not your fault that your old manager had her head crammed so far up her ass.”

“Yeah, well,” he responded, color building beneath the high arches of his cheeks and gilding his tawny skin with rose-gold even under the otherwise unflattering fluorescent bulb of the streetlight, “I just like to read, is all. And I haven’t had to deal with her, thankfully—different divisions and all that.”

You shook your head fondly. He certainly didn’t have to remind you of that fact—the countless hours he’d spent in the coffee shop and the bookstore with his aquiline nose buried in books were proof enough of that. “Did you get all the paperwork filled out? It didn’t give you any trouble?”

“Got it all sorted. I, uh—” He cast a furtive glance towards Amy. “—got help when I needed it.”

Ah. Marc likely had to help him fill in the gaps. You often wondered if Marc was the one that got him his job in the gift shop to start with, but…Steven didn’t talk very much about what he was able to remember from the tenuous times he fronted before he met you while Marc was trying to wrap up all of his personal affairs in attempt to flee from his problems.

Steven didn’t go out of his way to advertise their situation to others, as he and Marc were still trying to iron out all of the kinks with their living situation and attending therapy sessions, but you had the feeling that Amy sensed something was remiss with him because of how often she was around him in proximity to you. She hadn’t ever said anything besides the occasionally affectionate, “He’s a little odd, isn’t he?” but you were always able to distract her with a casual, “We’re all a bit strange.”

“That’s good.” Another breeze skated through the street, blowing over your exposed legs and causing you to shiver. You hunkered into your cardigan and glanced up at the pitch black sky. “I’d probably better hit the store and head home. I can hear a hot shower calling my name, and I intend to sleep in after that entire disaster.”

Steven perked up. “After all what, love?”

“Oh.” Heat crept into your cheeks. “I, uh…had a date. It didn’t go so well.”

He blinked, brows inclining upwards for a tick in a surprise that he wasn’t quite able to conceal. “I—oh. I-I didn’t realize. I’m sorry to hear that.”

“It was sort of last minute.” You cleared your throat. “The guy was an ignorant prick anyway. I was lucky I made it out of there with my intellect still intact.”

That managed to draw a chuckle from him, at least, but you couldn’t shake the way his eyes lingered on you, slowly traversing over your silhouette—you felt terribly vulnerable, laid bare under the gentle weight of his troubled umber gaze. It wasn’t uncomfortable, but you couldn’t quite read the expression on Steven’s face—an unusual occurrence, to be certain, as he was an open book to you most of the time—so you weren’t certain what to make of his reaction.

It didn’t help that you were terribly insecure about the situation to start with, given the fact that you would have much rather had Steven as your date instead.

With that desire, however, came an entire Pandora’s box of complicated emotions. Negative past experiences had left you extremely hesitant to initiate romantic connections of any kind. And, despite how much you trusted Steven, you had an extremely difficult time trying to shake off your doubts. The sliver of boldness in you wanted for nothing more than to grab the lapels of his wrinkled, oversized jacket and kiss him breathless to avoid the awkward song and dance of treading that tenuous line between friendship and romance when it came to people who had grown inextricably close as the pair of you had…but the overwhelming majority of your mentality, insecure and timid and wounded, would rather keep him at arm’s length to secure his platonic affection at the very least. If that was all you could ever have of him, you’d take it gladly—but the heart wants what it wants, and you longed for all of him, as selfish as you knew your feelings to be.

He was in a difficult place, trying to rediscover himself and having to reassess his entire worldview, and here you were pining for him like a teenager with a helpless crush on someone far beyond your league. Steven was everything you had ever wanted—so very smart and sweet and sincere—but who were you to think he’d ever be interested in you of all people? When he could have anybody he wanted, far more gorgeous and intelligent and better than you could even dream of being?

A needlessly poetic notion, perhaps, but…you always had been a romantic.

That is why you had never tried your (admittedly poor) luck. You liked Steven, more than anyone else whom you’d ever before met, but…he’d never made a move. He was naturally open with his affection with everyone, amiable to a fault at times, so you couldn’t assume that his behavior indicated any particular favor on your behalf.

Still…you couldn’t bear it to pull yourself away now. He’d become your best friend within a couple of weeks of meeting him, and he was the only one with whom you felt completely safe in this sprawling, suffocating cityscape. You knew without a doubt that you could rely on him for anything—he had proven himself reliable time and again over the last few months, dropping everything when you needed him. You’d give him everything you had in a heartbeat in return—including your heart, although he’d unwittingly taken possession of it long ago.

“I, ah…” Steven cleared his throat, placing his closed fist over his mouth while tipping his head down to look at you through his lashes, “...would you like me to walk you home, love? It’s awfully late for you to be goin’ to the mart by yourself.”

Although you and Steven had fallen into the habit of catching the bus together on the instances that he got stuck taking inventory before he’d gotten fired, given that you both closed up shop about the same time, that routine had fallen by the wayside. He still offered to almost every night, though, oftentimes texting you to check in around closing time (and he’d held you to a promise to let him know when you got home when you refused his offer). You missed your quiet, late night bus rides, honestly, but the last thing you wanted was to inconvenience him by having him make such a long round trip across London.

Tonight, though, with him standing there with those watery, sympathetic puppy-dog eyes, knowing that he understood poor dates better than most (nevermind the fact that he hadn’t mentioned going on any lately, now that you thought about it)…you couldn’t resist him even if you wanted to. Your self-esteem, already dangerously low, had suffered a severe toll tonight, and you needed Steven’s reassurance more than anything (even a scalding shower to scrub your woes away).

“That would be greatly appreciated, darlin’,” you said, smiling wearily. “There’s a store a block away from my apartment complex, so it’s not too far of a walk from the bus stop.”

Steven bobbed his head, and you turned to hug Amy, who patted your back. “Sorry again he turned out to be a wanker,” she said. “Maybe you’ll have better luck on the next one.”

You pulled back and raised a brow at her glittering eyes. “If there even is a ‘next one’,” you chuckled wryly. “I’m just about ready to give up at this point.”

“Bad luck’s bound to turn into good luck eventually,” she said, then turned with her keys. “I’ll see you Monday—have a good weekend.”

“You, too.” You readjusted your purse strap and glanced at Steven, tilting your head towards the other end of the sidewalk. “Shall we?”

“I think so.” He offered you his elbow, and you took it with a quiet sigh of relief. His frame offered a welcome reprieve of a blockade against the wind, and his warmth seeped even through the plethora of loose layers he favored wearing.

Mutual comfortable silence followed your stroll to the bus stop, and you leaned against his arm when you both settled on a bench near the back of the bus when it rumbled through. It didn’t take long for him to readjust in his seat and you straightened on reflex, embarrassed that you’d done it subconsciously without asking him for permission first.

“No, no, love,” he murmured, lifting his arm over your shoulders, “here. Figured this would be more comfortable for you. You’re still shiverin’.”

“Oh.” You bit the inside of your lip, fighting the flutter of your stomach. “Thank you.”

You accepted his embrace, resting your head upon the cradle of his shoulder and sinking into him. His fingers curled lightly around your arm, squeezing absently. You closed your eyes as the tension drained from your body, taking a deep breath, and—in so doing—drew in a lungful of his cologne.

He had no right to smell so damn good.

“What do you need at the mart?” he asked quietly. “So I can help you look.”

“Just some snacks,” you mumbled. “Ice cream, maybe. I have leftovers in the fridge I was going to reheat since he made a comment about what I ordered.”

Steven’s arm tightened around your shoulders. “...He what?”

You shook your head. “It doesn’t matter. He insisted on paying, so I guess he was just watching his budget.”

Steven scoffed, and it was one of the only times you’ve ever heard his tone slip into open disdain. “The gall.”

“It’s over now. I consider it a reward for wasting my time, at least.” You turned your head and tucked your nose under his jaw. “I don’t really want to think about it anymore, if that’s okay.”

“That’s perfectly all right,” he told you, tugging you closer. “Just let me know if he gives you any trouble, yeah?”

“Oh, I already have him blocked, don’t worry.” You let out a snort... “I don’t think he was particularly impressed, anyway.” …and a sigh. “Can’t really blame him.”

Steven sucked in a breath. “Now why would you go and say a silly thing like that, love?”

It had slipped out, honestly. You’d meant to internalize that lapse of self-deprecation, but you found it hard to conceal your thoughts around Steven. You had no answer for him, so you attempted a hamfisted effort to divert his attention. “I have enough food for you, too, if you’d like to stay. I figure you haven’t had much to eat this evening, and you can crash at my place since it’s so late.”

“...Do you want me to stay?” he asked softly. “So you won’t be alone?”

You laughed under your breath. “I don’t know how you do that. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re able to read minds, Steven Grant.”

“No telepathy to be had,” he said mildly, the pad of his thumb beginning to draw circles on your bicep over the chunky knit of your cardigan. “Just…I know how it feels.” He cleared his throat. “I’ll be happy to stay, if you’ll have me.”

You wished you could kiss him. You wished you could get away from him before your heart ended up shattered once again by your own helplessness. “Always.”

The supermarket was just short of empty when you both shuffled in, rubbing your arms to wring the growing chill from your extremities. The pop music from a top-forty station gave the aisles a melancholic quality, and Steven trailed you with a basket as you picked up the handful of necessities that needed restocking. A cursory glance at him on the freezer aisle, tilting his head back and staring up at the fluorescent lights thoughtfully, prompted you to grab a pint of raspberry sorbet instead of your normal go-to flavor of ice cream. If he noticed the change from your usual purchase while the sleepy teenage cashier rang up the handful of groceries, Steven didn’t comment on it. You’d rarely seen him so pensive.

Your apartment was blissfully warm when you let yourself back in, locked the door behind you, and turned the television on. You took the paper sack from Steven (having insisted that he carry it even though it wasn’t that heavy) and tipped your head to the living room. “Make yourself at home. There’s more blankets in the coffee chest. I’m going to put these up and grab a quick shower.”

“You wanted a long one, yeah?” he prompted. “Don’t rush on my account. I know where everythin’ is. I can take care of myself, you know.”

You nodded and turned. You were too tired to quibble with him—you knew he didn’t mind you not playing the perfect host all the time. “Okay. Watch whatever you want. My kitchen’s yours.”

“All right.” His hand grasped your elbow. “I mean it: take your time.”

You flashed him a small, appreciative smile. “Yes, sir.”

You watched the color bloom under his cheeks with more than a little fondness. He wrestled the sack back out of your arms. “I know where all this goes,” he blurted. “Go on, then.”

Maybe it was a little selfish of you, but…letting him take care of you just this once wouldn’t hurt anything, right? You chuckled. “Okay, okay—I’m going.”

You retreated to your bedroom and shut the door. Your shoes came off first, then your cardigan and your dress. Everything else followed shortly thereafter—all of it was tossed into the hamper as you tread silently into the bathroom. Frissons broke out over your bare skin as you stepped onto the cold tile, reaching around the glass divider to start the water so it would warm up while you went ahead and started your bedtime routine.

You took Steven’s advice, although with no small amount of guilt at not entertaining him (in spite of the fact that he was a grown-ass man and could very well occupy himself, as he’d said). You hated being separated from him, even through two measly walls, but the urge to get that other man’s lascivious, if critical, gaze off of you as soon as possible was far stronger at the moment.

You stood under the steaming stream for a long time, listening to the music you’d selected to play from your phone. You washed your hair and body with a certain degree of clinicism, doggedly avoiding looking at yourself in the mirror lest your mood deteriorate even more. His skepticism over your ‘generous’ choice of entree shouldn’t have mattered—he’d ordered a meal that would have made bulking bodybuilders jealous—but the subtle comments he’d sprinkled throughout the meal had taken down the carefully constructed walls surrounding your appearance. You’d worked hard to repress your hangups, dammit, and all it took was one lousy date? When he was just an asshole and didn’t even deserve to get under your skin like that?

You growled under your breath and shut the shower off, ringing out your hair and swiping the extra moisture from your skin before stepping out to towel off. You finished up with your skin care routine and went back into your bedroom to put on your favorite sweatpants and t-shirt, topped with a baggy hoodie. When you reemerged into the living room, Steven was nowhere to be seen, but the opening titles of The Mummy were playing on repeat on the television with the case open on the TV stand.

You stepped into the kitchen, following your nose and ears, and found him standing over the stove reheating the leftover vegan shakshuka you’d experimented with the night before.

“You didn’t have to do that,” you said softly, lingering in the doorway and fiddling with the ends of your sleeves. “I was going to.”

“You’re dead on your feet, love,” Steven admonished you lightly, glancing over his shoulder with a small, lopsided grin. “I can handle it. Wouldn’t mind a drink, though.”

You wanted to point out the dark circles beneath his eyes and the fatigued slump of his shoulders, but you refrained in order to save his dignity. “Would you like some tea, or soda, or…?”

“A cuppa would be lovely.”

“Is chai okay?”

“Sounds perfect.”

You set the electric kettle on (bought just for him, as you preferred iced tea, but you’d never admit that to him because you knew he’d feel guilty about you spending money on him) and pulled the box of tea bags out of the pantry, as well as a pot of honey, for him to fix it how he preferred. You grabbed a mug from the cabinet, as well, and set it out for him. You opted for a bottle of water, pouring it over ice.

“Think it’s ready,” Steven said, and you grabbed a couple of plates for him to ladle portions of the dish onto. You grabbed some cutlery and napkins, as well as your glass, and followed him into the living room.

“I’ll be right back,” he said, setting down the plates on the coffee table before straightening. “Mind if I borrow the loo first?”

“Go ahead,” you told him, sinking down into the couch with a tired groan. He disappeared into the shadows of your room, and you rested your head against the cushion at your back as your eyes drifted shut.

You remained still, listening to the music coming from the TV and to Steven’s movements as he soon came back and stepped into the kitchen. Water poured, clinking of metal on porcelain, socks scuffing on flooring. The cushion next to you dipped and creaked under his weight, and his knuckle brushed your wrist. “Not hungry, love?”

“Just waiting on you.” Truthfully, you didn’t have very much desire to eat, but your stomach was protesting the insufficient sustenance of the salad you’d opted to order instead of the club sandwich with chips you’d wanted. You sat up and pulled the plate into your lap. The inviting smell certainly helped. “I hope it’s okay, I don’t know if it’s any good.”

“Anything you make is mana on earth, love,” Steven assured you. He grabbed the remote and started the movie before sipping his tea tentatively.

“There’s always room for failure,” you responded wryly, but bringing up a mouthful proved that your endeavor had been successful, thankfully. “Oh, thank God. I ended up snacking while I cooked last night and got full before I could try it. It’s okay.”

Steven tried it himself and hummed with pleasure. “It’s more than okay, love.”

“I’m glad.” You turned your attention to the screen and hunkered against the arm of the couch. “...Thank you for all this.”

You felt Steven’s gaze fix itself on your profile. “...You’re welcome.”

The night outside grew darker, and when the both of you finished eating, Steven bullied his way into taking the dishes and washing them while ordering you to stay put. You paused the film in the meantime, tugging the blanket off the back of the couch and curling up beneath it. He turned off the lights and took the other end when you offered it. Other than the occasional chuckle, neither of you spoke again until the credits began to roll. By then, you’d grown sleepy. Steven had anchored you into his side once again, resting his cheek on the crown of your head. You’d started to doze off when the rumble of his chest roused you.

“...You know you really shouldn’t say such cruel things about yourself, love. You looked extra gorgeous tonight.”

You swallowed, and in the safety of the apartment’s darkness you let your expression fall. “I know.”

“You really are somethin’ special.” His fingers drummed slowly against your arm. “I mean it. I’m honored to know you. And I want you to know that I’ll always be here for you.”

“You don’t know how much I appreciate that,” you murmured, even if that traitorous, if scarred, part of yourself denied his claim automatically. It wasn’t fair to him, but old habits die hard. “Thank you for staying with me.”

“It’s the least I could do,” he responded, “you know, as an apology on behalf of all men for that sorry wanker wasting your time.”

You laughed in the midst of a yawn. “It’ll be a story to tell on holidays, if nothing else.”

“Tired?” he asked.

“Yeah.” You pressed your face into his shirt. “You can take the bed if you want.”

“Now, you know how this debate will end.”

“I do. I still wanted to offer.”

“All right. I will need to shower first, though, if you don’t mind. I still smell like the cleaner they use in the museum.”

You sat up to give him space to stand. The smell of the museum suited him, but you didn’t exactly want to reveal that you’d been discreetly huffing his collar for the last hour. “I don’t. I have your spares in the same drawer.”

“Thank you.” Steven extricated his arm, but after a moment’s hesitation he placed a kiss on your temple. You looked up at him, shocked, and that seemed to be his intention, because despite the outlines of his face matching your flusteredness, he appeared deadly serious. “You mean more to me than you’ll ever know, poppet,” he whispered. “And you deserve all the happiness in the world, bad dates be damned.”

“I…” You swallowed roughly. “Th-thank you, darlin’.”

His mouth opened as though he’d intended to say more, but hesitation won out in the end. He shook his head and patted your knee before straightening to his feet. “Go ahead and go to bed, I’ll take everything with me in there. You need to sleep as much as you can.”

“All right,” you murmured, watching him go. He fidgeted with his hands all the way of his retreat into the bathroom. You couldn’t breathe until you heard the shower whine to a start. Your heart didn’t stop pounding against your ribs until after he exited, curls damp and pajamas draped over his lean form, told you good night, and shut your bedroom door behind him to give you privacy.

When you woke up the next morning and wandered into the kitchen for something to eat, Steven was waiting for you with two bowls of sorbet ready, and you decided then—much to the distress of your frightful heart—that you were in love.

[astoundingbeyondbelief]

Kaiju Week in Review (November 26-December 2, 2023)

I wasn't over the moon when Toho announced that Takashi Yamazaki's Blockbuster Monster Movie was in fact the next Godzilla film. I had seen a few of his works—none bad, but none spectacular either. Well, I've set my sights on watching the rest in the new year, because Godzilla Minus One is an unqualified masterpiece. A tagline from the original Godzilla, King of the Monsters! comes to mind (as it often does when you're me): "Mightiest melodrama of them all!" A lot of the post-Showa films suffer from an abundance of characters who just spout exposition and look at monitors; here, almost everyone in the small cast gets at least one close encounter with Godzilla, and the monster's backstory is conveyed with extreme efficiency. This tale of a war veteran trying to rebuild his life in the ruins of Tokyo, stumbling into a family, finding fulfillment in blowing up leftover mines, and haunted by what he perceives as his cowardice in combat, would have been plenty compelling without Godzilla.

Since it does have Godzilla, it's high on my list of the best movies of the year, and I only need one viewing to call it one of the best installments in the almost-70-year-old series. Yamazaki patiently waited some 15 years after Always: Sunset on Third Street 2 for his shot at a Godzilla feature. You certainly get the sense, watching one of the most brutal, pissed-off incarnations of the monster ever to grace the screen, that he spent every day of it in preparation. Watch it often while it's still in theaters, and watch it big.

Godzilla Minus One will gross about $10 million in its U.S. opening "weekend", a third-place finish that beat expectations. For context, Godzilla 2000, the last Toho Godzilla film to receive a wide release here, made about $10 million during its entire theatrical run here. Ticket prices were cheaper then, of course, and Minus One was helped along further by almost half of attendees going to premium-format screenings. Conversely, it had to overcome Americans' subtitle phobia, and the first weekend of December is usually a slow one. I was pessimistic at the outset, but now I expect larger theaters to carry the film into the new year, especially with near-universal raves from critics and audiences.

Yes, a third section for Godzilla Minus One; it's well-deserved, I promise. MyKaiju is risking life and limb by hosting an English translation of the film's novelization, written by Takashi Yamazaki himself. It appears to be at least partially machine-translated, but the Japanese text is included for comparison. Haven't read it yet, as I want to see the film a second time first, but quite a breakthrough given how mysterious this sort of thing usually is.

Monarch: Legacy of Monsters could never hope to compare with the opening of a stellar new Godzilla film; unfortunately, I also thought this week's episode was the weakest so far. It's bookended by Frost-Vark action, but the rest just drags. All's forgiven if the teacher and the hacker smooch though.

Toho and Legendary used to let each other's live-action Godzilla movies breathe; now the U.S. opening weekend of one is coinciding with the opening marketing push of the other. IGN released a trio of pics from Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire, showing Kong with his axe; Dr. Andrews, Jia, and Trapper (Dan Stevens's character) in uniform; and Godzilla "evolving into a powerful new form." The same article included an interview with director Adam Wingard. Naturally, he didn't give away much... besides the return of Doug.

Earlier in the week, Legendary put out a trio of posters featuring Godzilla, Kong, and the film's antagonist, now christened Skar King. The taglines ("Unite" for our heroes, "Bow to Your King" for SK) sound like kaiju campaign slogans. Makes me wonder if, like Godzilla vs. Megalon before it, the movie will improbably capitalize on the presidential election next year. To steal a joke from Titanollante: Godzilla/Kong unity ticket? They'd have my vote.

Godzilla's new form, meanwhile, has already been spoiled by a T-shirt on Legendary's own site and some dire-looking Playmates figures. It makes sense that Wingard would want to have his own spin on the character after keeping the design from Godzilla: King of the Monsters for Godzilla vs. Kong. Hard to cast judgment without seeing the real design in full, but there's one particular detail I really like.

The film also has a booth at CCXP in Brazil, with a panel later today, so I think a trailer is incoming (the main reason I hammered out this whole post so quickly).

I missed this one last week: Tsuburaya announced an anime project called Ultraman: DARKNESS HEELS. The DARKNESS HEELS branding has been around for a while, spotlighting prominent evil Ultras—and, of course, Jugglus Juggler. No details on the anime yet, but if the Juggleman's there, so am I.

The big toy reveal this weekend was Super7's ULTIMATES! MaiGoji figure. Previous Godzilla figures from this line haven't lived up to the official photos, but hope springs eternal. It's $85 (much less than the MonsterArts); preorders started Friday. Other highlights: a Super7 ReAction figure of the original Godzilla's skeleton, which comes with a little Oxygen Destroyer, and a plush Mothra from Surreal Entertainment that can flip to imago form to a neck pillow-shaped larva.

[until-another-one-comes]

You got anymore Milkplane and Milkbread hcs?

Since you asked for both, I'm going to answer this with my polycule headcanons:

- So if you've read my other Milkbread hcs, you already know my backstory for them. Years after that, Francis moved to the apartment where he met Steven, who recently moved in with his dad.

- After a while of getting to know each other, Francis and Steven both caught feelings, but before either of them could come to terms with it (which is especially hard for Francis, since he never had romantic feelings for another man before), Nacha moved in and thus began the Milkbread Arc (tm).

- Francis at this moment is especially confused since he realised he has feelings for *both* Nacha and Steven and didn't know what to do and felt guilty about it.

- Both Nacha and Steven are aware of this weird situation. I'm not entirely sure how but after a while I think all of them finally sat down and come clean about the whole thing. Francis confesses that he's in love with both of them and surprisingly enough both Nacha and Steven are okay with this. Boom polycule formed.

- Whenever Francis and Nacha go on dates together, they leave Anastacha with Steven. Steven really likes Ana and treats her like a little sister/niece and basically acts like the cool uncle.

- (Ana still doesn't fully understand the whole polyamory thing but as long as her mom is okay with it it's whatever. Also, at least she got a cool uncle/older brother out of this)

- Francis: Enough with the milkman jokes and stereotypes already its not funny. I'm not interested in dating.

(after polycule)

Angus: YOU WERE SAYING-

- Steven and Nacha both have southern accents and Angus teases Francis about how he has a type.

- The Rudboys family owns a farm/ranch and one time Steven took both Francis and Nacha there and taught them horse riding. Nacha got on well with the horses but Francis was scared of them.

- Vice versa on motorcycle riding though. Francis grew to love them but Nacha refused to get on one after the first time she tried it.

- Steven and Nacha both like dancing. Francis is usually too awkward/shy for dancing so whenever the occasion pops up Steven and Nacha would drag him to the dancefloor.

- Nacha loves giving cheek kisses for Francis and Steven.

- Whenever he has a bad day Francis would often lie his head on Nacha's lap for comfort.

- Whenever Steven goes out on long missions he'd sometime get interviewed on television. Francis and Nacha always make sure to watch his interviews.

- Steven comes up with the corniest pick-up lines ever.

- Steven's favorite dessert is apple pie and Nacha makes the best apple pie ever. McLooy is salty that Steven finds her pies better than his.

- Okay somewhat less nice headcanon: So idk if you remember this but Nacha has an ex-husband that she never officially divorced. One day said ex came over to the apartment to confront Nacha about her leaving.

- Steven wanted to kick his ass the moment he stepped in but Francis held him because Nacha said she wanted to deal with the ex herself so he begrudgingly complied.

- The talk between Nacha and her ex quickly grew ugly and after a nasty comment from the ex it was Francis who lost his patience and decked him.

(don't wanna go too much into this since I have ZERO idea how laws work but after the ex left they went to Alf who agreed to help Nacha sort out the issues with her ex)

- Anyways enough drama, here's a pic I think is perfect for them :

(from left to right: Francis, Nacha and Steven)

[tfa-archived]

with it officially being disability pride month, I wanna talk about my favorite disabled headcanon, which is for the one and only, my most beloved Poe Dameron. Buckle up, because this is a long post.

I actually have a few different disability headcanons, most of which hold up to canon/are extrapolated from canon, so we'll keep that in mind as we go through. I expect this to have about...four parts total. Let's go!

Hard of Hearing

I think a good case can be made that Poe is hard of hearing, with a few instances that could point to this fact, primarily the very beginning of the Rise of Skywalker. Even though Chewie is sitting right beside Poe, Poe does not understand what Chewie has said, because his head is turned (at no other point does Poe have any problem understanding Chewbacca, so we know it is not a linguistics issue)

It's only when he turns towards Chewie and Chewie repeats what he said that Poe understands what was said. There's also the frankly adorable moment in The Last Jedi that's extremely easy to miss, because it's a far away shot and we just barely catch what Poe says:

BB-8 is beeping so fast trying to catch Poe up that Poe has to request that he slow down so Poe can understand him. Other possible evidence of him being HoH (beyond the comical amount of explosions he's constantly caught in) is that there are several shots where we see Poe carefully watching the lips of the person he's speaking to as they're talking, as if that might help him keep up.

And (I don't have a gif of this lmao I'm not giffing him getting hurt) when Poe gets shot in tros, @/dameronalone pointed out it could be evidence he didn't hear the approaching stormtroopers when he turned to look the other way. @/hermitmoss has also pointed to his line at the start of tfa while being snarky at Kylo as further possible evidence, about how it's hard to understand Ren with the voice modulator.

Essential Hand Tremor

Another fact pointed out to me by @/hermitmoss (thanks Braigwen) is that when Poe goes to cover Leia's hand with his own in the Last Jedi, we see that his hand is shaking:

I later noticed that this isn't the only time that we see Poe do this, we see it again in the Rise of Skywalker, where he cannot keep his blaster steady as Rey approaches the serpent at all.

These are the only two circumstances I can find of his hands trembling in the movies, though, and we know from plenty of other scenes that Poe ordinarily can keep a blaster extremely steady:

Autism & ADHD

Okay this one I don't consider to be a headcanon, lmfao. I genuinely believe that Poe was intentionally coded as autistic/ADHD by Oscar Isaac.

Oscar playing/coding Poe as something that is never explicitly confirmed by Disney is far from new: Poe is coded as a bisexual (or pansexual) man, because that's how Oscar Isaac saw Poe and chose to play him, and even if we weren't gifted with it being made explicit, it's still there in his performance.

If you happen to be a fan of Oscar Isaac, or just a Marvel and Star Wars fan both, you'll know he starred in the Disney+ series Moon Knight last year as the Moon Knight system (Steven Grant, Marc Spector, and Jake Lockley).

Shortly after the first episode premiered, Oscar Isaac revealed in an interview that while trying to figure out who Steven was as a person, he came up with the idea that the system be on the Autism Spectrum, and approached Marvel to see if he could include it into his performances, and it was green-lit.

The Lunar system is the best intentional autistic representation I've ever seen, there are so many things they do that are so minor that I doubt most people would ever consider to include, but they are things that me and my friends do.

And there's an overlap in how Oscar plays the various autistic habits and traits of the Lunar system in how he portrays Poe. Most notably, Poe and Marc have extremely similar meltdowns:

There's plenty more overlap (Poe does the same anxious stim Steven does, of rubbing the inside of his index finger with his thumb) but there's so much there I'm not sure where all to begin. I have gone more in depth on the various autistic traits Poe shows throughout the films in this gifset here, though.

I'll go ahead and include some of the moments we see him stimming, that I have evidence of:

(he also does this same hand thing when he starts to leave BB-8 and promises to come back.)

We also see him fidgeting anxiously with his hands during the briefing in the last jedi:

Poe also has a habit of running his tongue along his bottom lip while he's stressed or thinking something through. Here's three examples from across the trilogy (there are plenty more):

We're leaning a little closer into ADHD territory now. I don't really know how to explain why I think Poe is ADHD, to be quite honest, besides the fact that he just radiates ADHD energy to me and I heavily relate. This is a man who cannot stay still, and frequently talks with his hands:

But there's also the fact that Poe oftentimes has a tendency to not be able to fully see the potential of negative outcomes to his decisions - he sees point a to point b, and sometimes becomes laser focused on that. It's something I understand perfectly, because it's hard for me to pull away from something I've already fully committed to doing, and it's even more difficult sometimes for me to truly understand what (and what kind of) consequences my actions will have.

Other evidence of him being extremely autistic (and adhd) is just....that he makes autistic expressions?

Like this...is an autistic expression, I've seen my best friend make this exact fucking face before, I don't know how else to explain it.

Misc Thoughts

Aside from the above, it's pretty much canon that Poe has anxiety and depression — at the very least, Poe Dameron: Free Fall by Alex Segura certainly does not shy away from the suggestion, and is one of the most implicit portrayals we have of it outside the films — it is a series of catastrophizing his circumstances that leads Poe to joining Zorii for a little while as a teenager, following a joyride that ended in a crash that Poe explicitly wishes he had not survived.

The movies themselves also points to Poe having PTSD, partially through the writing but mostly due to the nuanced and thoughtful performance Oscar Isaac gives as Poe (that goes....woefully underappreciated, seriously he adds so much depth to every single scene as Poe, including the thread of anxiety in Poe's voice when Rey mentions Ren's ship is over Kijimi, or constantly looking out to make sure they're not being followed in tros).

(Good expanded material follows through on this, such as Poe's reluctance to discuss anything about what happened aboard the Finalizer in the Poe Dameron: Flight Log, and becoming irate at the thought of having to. He's an extremely traumatized man, and he certainly doesn't deserve to be thrown out of an airlock jfc and he isn't as arrogant as the fascist regime he is fighting, tbh he's not arrogant at all).

Conclusion

I believe that sums up the majority of my Poe is disabled thoughts, or at least the ones that I think holds up very well within the canon framework. He's extremely disabled and - in the case of being neurodivergent - this is critical to understanding him as a character, especially considering his arc ends up being focused on interdependence.

I wish all fellow disabled folk a happy pride month, and I wish all very ableds a very "please do not be ableist on this post". You will be blocked otherwise.

[violet-moonstone]

fanfic tag

I was tagged by @thedragon-and-hisboy

How many works do you have on Ao3?

20

What's your Ao3 word count?

338,073

What fandoms do you write for?

Mostly HTTYD, but I've also written for My Chemical Romance, RossterTeeth/Achievement Hunter, and I have an Arcane fic in the works.

What are your top five fics by kudos?

Terms of Agreement

Fire at Will

Tell Me What I Want to Hear

HTTYD Relationship Headcanons

Love and War

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes, as much as I have the energy/ideas for. I like responding because I like interacting with people who enjoy the fandoms as me and who enjoy my writing. Also it makes me happy when writers respond to my comments, so I like to do the same.

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

"Fire At Will," an MCR fic I wrote in high school in which (spoiler alert) literally everyone dies at the end.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Honest answer: "A Reminder of Home," a very short fic about Snotlout giving Eret a gift for Snoggletog.

Nasty answer: all my smut fics...they all have happy endings if you know what I mean...

Do you get hate on fics?

Not so far. Hopefully I won't but if it happens, I'll probably just delete the comment.

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Oh boy, do I. To date I've only written gay smut, mostly between men. I've got one F/F smut chapter in the longfic I'm working on. Hoping to write more of a variety of pairings. My smut ranges from wholesome to freaky. Depends on my mood.

Do you write cross overs? What's the craziest one you've written?

I've written crossover headcanons, but I've yet to write any full fics. Unless my MCR fanfic counts, because it did include members of Fall Out Boy, Panic! at the Disco, and Mindless Self Indulgence...oh and they were all in magic covens and doing blood magic, so I get that's pretty crazy.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of and I hope it never happens.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Again, not that I know of. It would be cool though. I can read and understand French but my writing is terrible. Maybe one day I could get good enough to translate my fics to French though.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I tried co-writing a ROTG fic with my best friend in middle school. Never panned out.

What's your all time favorite ship?

I don't have an all-time OTP but at the moment I'm pretty in love with the following:

Dagur/Hiccup (HTTYD)

Viggo/Hiccup

Sevika/Mel (Arcane)

Jasper/Lapis (Steven Universe)

Morgana/Gwen (Merlin)

Any canon ship from Interview with the Vampire

In the past I was pretty obsessed with Hiccup/Jack Frost, although I'm much more into shipping Hiccup with other HTTYD characters these days.

Honestly though, my biggest ships often involve my (self-insert) OCs, and I don't talk as much about them, but I tend to think about them much more than I think about ships between canon characters. And a common thread with my canon-character ships tends to be shipping a character that reminds me of myself with a character I think is attractive.

A couple characters I like self-shipping with:

Dagur

Sevika

Brienne of Tarth (ASOIAF)

Karlach (BG3)

What's a WIP you'd like to finish but doubt you ever wilI?

I had an idea for a Criston Cole/Alicent Hightower fic that I never got around to writing, mostly because of my soured opinions of House of the Dragon. I may get around to it though simply because I think the fic would be really good.

I also never finished my HTTYD vampire AU "Maces and Talons," mostly because I realized that I hadn't thought through the plot structure or the themes of the story very well, and I was losing interest in fleshing out my rough drafts. The vibes were immaculate but the storytelling was not.

I also started writing a tragic fanfic about Loki several years ago that combined MCU, Marvel comic, and Norse mythology lore. Never finished it, but I think it would have been interesting if I did.

What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm really good at eliciting strong emotional reactions from readers and wording impactful passages eloquently. Oh and I love world building!

What are your writing weaknesses?

Describing combat, action, and scenes that take place outside. I also struggle to determine which small details to leave out to avoid passages sounding clunky or plot points getting bloated.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I'd love to if I get fluent enough.

First fandom you wrote for?

First fandom I wrote for: ROTG

First fandom I posted for: RoosterTeeth/Achievement Hunter

Favorite fic you've ever written?

My favourite completed fanfic is probably either "Alone Together" or "Terms of Agreement," however the longfic I'm working on now "The Wings of War" is my all time favourite. I can't wait for it to be complete. It's going to be the longest thing I've written when it's done, and I'm really proud of the character development and theme exploration I have planned.

Tags-In a new post answer all of these questions, then tag whoever else you want.

Tagging: @evilwriter37 and @thereweredragonshere

[celestialdreamqueen]

Your opinion on lori mattix?

Hi! I literally just posted about her lol.

Here's my thoughts:

Jimmy should've never had a relationship with her. I think that's obvious. Thankfully, we know that she was never physically abused or coerced by Jimmy himself. For over fifty years she has continued to say what a gentlemen he was and that she really did love him. Her mom even approved of it (Yikes, but still) I do hate that she used the word "kidnapping" and "locked up" as a sort of funny anecdote. When she said those things, the Me Too movement hadn't happened yet, so she wasn't really weighing her words.

From what we know, that is the only relationship Jimmy ever had with a minor. He has only been in relationships with women his age or in their twenties since. So the accusations of him "sleeping with hundreds of children" I see on Tiktok is bullshit and unfounded.

While it doesn't excuse it AT ALL, it is important to remember that Jimmy was not the only one to mess with these young groupies. David Bowie, Iggy Pop, Elvis Presley, and Steven Tyler are a few. The difference is that their girls never spoke out the way that Lori did. I think because she loved (admired) him so much, she got overexcited and wanted the world to know.

I know it's probably for the best that she's stopped giving so many interviews, but if he's the great guy that she claims he is, she needs to clarify that more publically. Hopefully, before he passes.

[falling-angelss]

DMV Struggle

E1 ,, Chapter 2

Chapter 1 can be found here!

All chapters can be found on pinned. :)

Summary: Wesley is finally taking his driving test so he doesn’t have to be a passenger princess anymore ❤️ very short chapter sorry im still thinking of chapter ideas before i get to the main plot chapters 😞

I've never been good at talking to people. At least, in a nonprofessional environment. I’ve always been good at talking to people when it’s a strictly professional approach, but when it comes to just being friendly and developing real connections, it’s like I’ve never spoken to anyone a day in my life. I feel almost like an alien at times. As if I was never meant to belong.

I’ve always felt like an actor in my own life, meant to play a specific role. Almost as if I know who I really am when the curtains close, but I’m told by everyone else a completely different role I have to play. And on top of that, apparently the director forgot to give me a script. I always say the wrong things and make the wrong decisions. I always make a complete fool of myself.

Which is why I often make an effort to distance myself from most. I want to be allowed to make my own script and play my own role sometimes, without anyone else reading my lines to me. I find it easier to live my day to day life alone.

I don’t need a big group of friends to go partying with every night, I don’t need coworkers to gossip with, I don’t need family members to ask me invasive questions every time I see them.

And I especially don’t need a musky blonde-haired skater boy pestering me just about any time I’m in town, but, guess what the director added to this season of “Wesley Just Trying To Live a Normal Life”.

I’m not even sure how he always seems to find me, it’s like he knows my every move. It’s a bit unnerving. Ever since I bumped into him before my job interview a few weeks ago, he’s been swarming me like a vulture and it’s roadkill.

His name is Aurelius Stevens, or “Ari”, as most people call him. He’s actually quite popular around here. We live in a small town where just about everyone knows everyone, and I quickly learned that Aurelius is quite well liked around here. Surprisingly…

However, that especially is what puzzles me. I don’t understand why someone with so many friends, so many people who actually like him, who actually want to hang out with him, would even attempt to spend time with me, an anxiety-ridden ninny who wants nothing more than to mind my own business. Out of anyone else, me?

It’s almost baffling. I wish I understood his motives.

I rush out of my apartment, tying my hair in a ponytail, since I don’t have time to properly style it and I don’t want to be late. I have a scheduled test at the DMV to try to get my driver's license. All of the legal stuff I’ve had to do after moving to America has been exhausting, especially without help from my parents, like I had back home. But… I know I’ll be alright. It’s better to get this all done sooner rather than later.

I start walking down the street, actively rummaging through my bag to make sure I have all the paperwork I may need. I can already feel an ache deep in my stomach… my anxiety always acts up when I’m headed to things like this. And the summer heat isn’t making it any better… I’m so used to the cooler temperatures back home near the sea, I forget how hot it can get here. This isn’t exactly the best time to have a wardrobe made up of almost entirely sweaters, now is it?

The DMV is just a few miles from my apartment, so not a bad walk, but apparently I’m more out of shape than I thought… after only about maybe 15 minutes of jogging, I feel so light-headed I could faint.

I check my watch, hoping that I’m not…

…

…Yeah. I’m running late. Of course I am, I’m always late.

I sit down on the low concrete wall that surrounds a local park, taking a short break from walking. I’m fighting with myself to decide what I should do next, hoping I can still make it to the DMV in time.

I always underestimate the complexity of doing even the most mundane tasks. If I had just woken up maybe an hour earlier, everything would’ve been fine. I don’t know how I have such poor time management.

Should I call the DMV? Let them know I’ll be late? Or maybe I should see if they can reschedule? Ugh. Or maybe I should pick up the pace a bit, I can still make it, but I think I may be sick if I run any longer. I really have to start working out soon. My legs are already aching, even from only jogging a short distance.

Maybe I should just cancel and do this another day. I’m already having the absolute worst of luck. My hair is a mess, both of my shirts are wrinkled, I was completely out of coffee (and food) this morning, and now that I’m sitting here, I see a toothpaste stain on the collar of my shirt.

Jeez, I really am a mess. I think Dad was right.

I can feel the anxiety and shame welling up inside my chest, like a geyser about to erupt straight out of me.

I can’t let anyone see me like this. What am I thinking? I should just-

Oh gosh. Is that his car?

“Hey!!! Dude!!! Do you need a ride!?”

He pulls up in front of me. I know that beat-up yellow car anywhere, you can spot it from a mile away. Ugh. Why on earth does he always have to show up at the worst times possible? Even worse though, Aurelius isn’t even the one driving. Instead, it’s one of his hooligan buddies who’s behind the wheel.

Gosh, this is embarrassing. My brain is crying out to me, sending signals to the rest of my body, causing me to feel as if I’m about to be mauled by a bear. It’s funny, how our anxiety manifests itself in such a Pavlovian way, as if we’ve been taught to feel such fear since our very first breath.

I realize I’ve gone a few moments too long without responding.

“Oh! Um…”

Do I really want to have these two drive me to the DMV? Would I want these two to drive me anywhere, for that matter? That poor car looks like it could break down at any minute, and with those two driving?

Well. When the opportunity presents itself, I suppose.

“Yeah, actually. Could you drop me off at the DMV? I have an appointment and,”

I look at my watch. Yikes. “I’m already quite late…”

Aurelius and his friend exchange glances, I see Aurelius say something, but I can’t make it out.

He gestures, indicating me to the back of the car.

Alright. I guess I’m doing this. It’s fine.

I open the back door and hop in, moving some things around so I even have room to sit down. Goodness, I haven’t seen a car this dirty in ages. I think I would pay him to let me clean this thing.

“You’ve met Francis, right?” Aurelius asks me, nudging the man in the driver’s seat to try and get him to introduce himself. He’s a fairly hefty man with long hair and tan skin, he’s probably somewhere around 6’2. In other words, amongst Aurelius’ other friends, this guy sticks out like a sore thumb. I’ve seen him before, but we’ve never formally met.

“Oh, I’m Wesley. Nice to meet you.” I reach out my hand to offer him a handshake. Francis looks me in the eyes and simply says,

“Yeah, I know who you are.”

He doesn’t shake my hand. I’m left looking like a complete imbecile. Maybe I have met him before?

This is so awkward. I take my hand back, placing both my hands in my lap. I’m already regretting this, but at least it’s a short drive.

I’ve finally finished my driving test, and now I’m headed out, about to make my way home. It’s barely evening, and I’m already exhausted and ready to head to bed.

Before I can even begin to start walking, I see Aurelius sitting in his car in the parking lot, playing on a handheld game system. I didn’t ask him to stay and drive me home, so I am a bit surprised at his appearance here.

I walk up to the car and knock on the window, causing Aurelius to jump. He was very focused on that game, I guess.

He rolls down the window to talk to me.

“Hey!!! I, uh, Francis went home but… I thought you might want a ride home?”

“Aurelius, you didn’t have to come get me. How long have you been sitting out here? I was in there for almost two hours.”

“I- Yeah, I know you didn’t ask me to come get you, I just… I thought it would be polite of me to drive you home so you don’t have to walk all that way.”

“I can walk home just fine, you didn’t have to wait for me here. The walk is only a few miles.”

“Dude. I saw how out of breath you were, y’know. Just let me do something nice for you.”

Oh. Well, that’s a little embarrassing.

I fall silent and get into the passenger seat. He and I both know I really do not want to walk home.

We drive for a little while in awkward silence, until Aurelius finally speaks up, cutting the tension.

“So… why are you wearing that sweater in almost 90-degree weather anyways?” He asks me with a smirk, just trying to tease me.

“My entire closet is sweaters like these, what else am I supposed to wear?”

“Seriously? What about like, when you’re just hanging out at home, or with a couple of friends? You don’t have anything besides those fancy-ass sweaters?”

“When I’m at home I just wear my pajamas. Anywhere else I try to dress presentable.”

Aurelius huffs out a silent laugh and pauses for a few moments.

“Well… you do look nice. I like your style. So, I guess it must pay off, right?”

His sudden change of tone… surprises me at first.

“Um… thanks. Yeah, I- I guess so.”

I’m not good at receiving compliments… I can feel myself flushing red. As I go silent, the tension rises once more.

Thankfully, we’re finally at the apartment building. I’m practically ready to jump out of my seat to go up to my apartment and decompress.

Aurelius parks the car.

“Hey, so… uh… I’ll see you around yeah? We should grab dinner or something one day, maybe, or… I dunno, but… we should hang out soon?” there’s an odd sense of nervousness in his words, which is quite unlike him.

“Uh… yeah, I’ll check my calendar. I’m pretty busy this month.” I’m making excuses. I’m not exactly looking to go “hang out” with anyone anytime soon.

“Alright, that’s cool. Uh… yeah. I’ll see you around.”

I exit the car and wave, heading inside. I can feel my face and ears burning red. This whole day was a huge mess of embarrassment after embarrassment.

At least I won’t have to have Aurelius drive me places for too long…

I look down at the papers I’m carrying.

I failed my driving test.

Even if I had passed, it’s not like I even have a car yet, though.

I guess I may have to deal with him at least a little longer, in case I ever need a ride.

(notes; sorry if this chapter is a little all over the place.. again im kinda just writing some world building filler chapters so u get to know the characters before the actual fun part of the plot 😞 cries)

[templeofvengeance]

I mean, I know comics canon for the Sokovia Accords is that Moon Knight almost was denied a license (mostly because Steven switched in during the interview and the interviewer was understandably confused and weirded out) but Khonshu showed up and bullied the poor government worker into licensing Moon Knight anyway. Not sure if this is anything close the MCU canon but it would be funny if it was.

[I have the issue you're talking about and my god anon do I wish that's actually what happened. Like Khonshu is terrible enough in the comics that even I can't be an apologist for him, but the idea that you can hypnotize Marc (I think that's what the interviewer was doing, or trying to do), drag out Khonshu (I'm not gonna call that fronting) and watch him be SO ANGRY ABOUT IT that he bullies you about everything bad you've ever done in your whole life is SO GOOD.

Sadly I'm pretty sure this is Marc doing his best Khonshu impression. He knows a guy that can psychoanalyze people with a look, and had him tail the government worker so he'd have dirt to know as 'Khonshu.' They talk about it in the car afterwards. (@silverjetsystm you know way more comics than me, feel free to correct me if I read this wrong and I'll edit it)

Granted you could always interpret it as Khonshu himself popping up in Marc's head like "I want to do this part let me do this part let me speak through you let me insult the guy and ruin his life let me let me let me" and Marc is like "OKAY FINE but stick to the script this is important ffs"

Anyway on the wiki it says the Sokovia Accords are repealed in the MCU in 2025 so I guess it's a moot point.]

EDIT:

[oiveyzmir]

WIP weekend!!!

thank you @medusapelagia for tagging me <3

I only have one WIP so that'll be easy lmao.

✨RULES✨

In a reblog of this post or new thread, post up to five (5) filenames of your WIPs

Post a snippet from one of them. Snippet must be words you wrote in the last 7 days. We’re posting progress here. If you haven’t made any, go make some and come back to play!

After you’ve posted, people can send you an ask with one of your file names. You must then write 3 sentences in that file. If the filename is one you can't share from, write 3 sentences on it anyway, and then 3 more on another to share.

That’s it! You can invite others to join in, or just post.

SO!!

👻 Ghost Lights (Steddie BB)

Snippet and tags under the cut <3

👻👻👻

“Sorry to keep you waiting for so long,” Powell said, loudly scraping his chair back to sit in. The younger officer (Gordon, maybe?) followed suit, sitting down with a thud. “How are you doing, Eddie?”

Eddie stared daggers at him. He hadn’t eaten anything today, hadn’t slept, hadn’t done anything but searching for the love of his life for twelve hours now, and counting. How was he doing? “Same as you’d imagine, I guess.”

“Thank you for your time again, I understand this must be very difficult for you,” the younger officer said. Maine, his nametag read. Eddie, desperate to come up with any answer to any question at all, tried to remember his first name to no avail. “We will be recording this, is that alright with you?”

“Sure,” Eddie shrugged. “Do whatever.”

The recording machine whirred to life. “This is police officer Maine, accompanied by Chief Powell, interviewing Mr. Eddie Munson. The date is April 27th, 1990, the time is…” he looked down at his watch, “1:37 PM.”

“So, Eddie,” Powell started, “please tell us about your relationship with Steven Harrington.”

It’s the simplest of questions, Eddie realized, that have the most complicated answers. He’s my boyfriend. He’s the man that I love. He’s the reason I’m alive. He’s the bane of my existence. He’s the best thing that has ever happened to me. He’s the love of my entire fucking life.

“He’s my best friend,” he said instead, “and, uhh, my roommate. We share an apartment up in Indy in the last two-ish years.”

Chief Powell hummed. “You two have a good relationship? Solid?”

Eddie nodded. Officer Maine motioned towards the recording device and mouthed at him to speak up. “Yeah, we do.”

(No pressure) tagging!!!

@sunflowerharrington @hellfireloserclub @helpimstuckposting @rocknrollsalad @slippy-slip @slavicviking

[mikefaistinfo]

Interview: Mike Faist Isn’t Sure About This Whole Acting Thing

“I can’t tell if I hate acting or if I love it too much,” he said ahead of the debut of the Amazon series “Panic.” Coming soon, a major role in Steven Spielberg’s “West Side Story.” For now, he’s going to Ohio.

By Elisabeth Vincentelli Published May 27, 2021

Tall and lanky, looking as if he were born wearing Wranglers, Mike Faist cuts quite a striking figure in the Amazon Prime series “Panic”: His character, Dodge Mason, is a Stetson-wearing rodeo dude who breaks untamed horses, then soulfully gazes into their eyes.

That, however, is not at all how the character was written in the Lauren Oliver young adult novel that inspired the show, debuting Friday, in which Dodge and a dozen other small-town teenagers face off in a series of life-threatening challenges — think a naturalistic “Hunger Games” with more class war.

After shooting a pilot in 2018 in upstate New York (where the book is set), the production completely rebooted in Austin, Tex., a year later, and Dodge’s back story was changed to better fit the new locale. Suddenly, the school wimp who was interested in cards and magic had been turned into a Western archetype: the strong, do-right loner who doesn’t say much. Faist went with the flow.

“Ciphers can be really boring,” said Oliver, who also wrote the screenplay, “but he manages to capture the power inherent in a certain level of invisibility.”

Dodge is quite a departure for Faist, who is best known for his Tony-nominated performance as the tormented, cynical Connor Murphy in the Broadway musical “Dear Evan Hansen.” Blessed with a rangy charisma and a bone structure that appears to have been carved with a scythe, the actor, now 29, could have easily coasted in “Panic.” But his sensibility is closer to that of such atypical leading men as Adam Driver, and he modernizes a potentially boilerplate part.

“Mike really didn’t want to be a caricature, but I don’t think he ever could be,” said Jessica Sula, who plays Natalie, Dodge’s love interest in “Panic.” She recalled that when shooting resumed in Texas after a Covid-19-imposed pause, Faist chose to live in a trailer on a plot of land with his rescue dog, Austin.

“He’s just so fabulously ridiculous and wonderful,” she said of Faist, laughing fondly.

Faist’s own course has been ascendant since he dropped out of acting school at 18, and his plum role in Steven Spielberg’s highly anticipated “West Side Story” as Riff, the leader of the Jets, should put him on Hollywood’s speed dial when it debuts in December. (Shooting wrapped in September 2019.)

And yet the actor spent much of a recent conversation candidly admitting to ambivalence and incertitude. He spent some of the past year driving around the country with Austin and writing a screenplay. He has been turning down offers and is now selling his Brooklyn apartment and heading back to Ohio.

Faist was warm and laid back on a recent sunny morning in Park Slope, and he laughed a lot in what seemed to be protective self-deprecation as he pondered his future, professional and otherwise. These are edited excerpts from the conversation.

How did they spring the new Dodge on you?

It was still the same elements in terms of, “Oh, here’s the new guy,” but instead of, like, a weird magician, he’s now a … cowboy? I was like, “What do you mean, I’m now a cowboy?” They were like: “Yeah, yeah, you’ll be fine. Maybe try an accent.”

You do look pretty comfortable playing a horse whisperer.

I’d never worked with a horse in a production before. There were two of them: a very calm, gentle horse and a skittish one. We just ended up working with this skittish horse because it was actually doing stuff. The scene where the horse moves toward me was not planned or choreographed at all. They are, you know, unpredictable.

It might have been less intimidating than a sex scene. Is the one with Jessica Sula your first as an actor?

Maybe. I don’t know.

Wouldn’t you remember?

You’d think! I did do a romantic scene [onstage] in “A Month in the Country” with Taylor Schilling. I remember getting a pretty [expletive] review. [Laughs.]

Since the fall of 2018, you’ve gone back and forth between “Panic” and “West Side Story.” How did you handle these very physical projects?

For “West Side,” I found these Bruce Davidson photos of Brooklyn gangs from the late ’50s. If you look at their photos, these guys are emaciated, they have tattoos, and they look wired. Any money they had, they would pool and buy cheap wine and maybe they would have French fries or something. Then they were doing drugs. So I was like, “I need to lose some weight.” But my body was totally breaking down. Then I tried to bulk up as much as possible for “Panic” — just eating potatoes.

Did you do any kind of special training?

I started going to the Mendez boxing gym in Manhattan for “West Side.” I was working with John Rosado, who was raised in New York, Puerto Rican, badass. He was like, “I can’t believe I’m training a Jet!”

Your first big job was in the Broadway musical “Newsies,” which is quite dance heavy. Still, was it daunting to audition for “West Side Story”?

I put together a tape, and then they said, “We want you to come back in and dance.” I was like, “Is there any way you could not have me dance?” They were like: “What are you talking about? This is ‘West Side Story’!” The only saving grace is that Justin Peck [the choreographer] and I have similar body types: tall, nothing but arms and legs. They had their work cut out for them in order to get me up to snuff.

Why aren’t you in the upcoming “Dear Evan Hansen” movie alongside your former co-star Ben Platt?

I feel like I couldn’t do it. I started that when I was, like, 21, and was with it for five or six years. When you’re doing eight shows a week, it very much turns into relying on your technique and the job of it. And the show was such a zeitgeisty thing. It really took a lot out of me, and I didn’t really have it in me anymore.

With “Panic” and “West Side Story” behind you, what are you lining up?

Maybe this is so pretentious, but “West Side” was everything I had ever hoped to accomplish as an actor. It’s really crazy, but it was transcendental: either I didn’t feel like I was myself, or I was the most authentic version of myself. I can’t really tell which one. Having gone from having no money, wanting to just be a working actor — I don’t want to just be a working actor anymore. I had that experience. It [expletive] me up.

What did?

“West Side,” in the best of ways. I can’t unsee what I’ve seen. The pandemic nearly killed us and — what, I just want to be an actor? That’s ridiculous. [Laughs.] I don’t care enough. It’s a weird thing: I can’t tell if I hate acting or if I love it too much. It’s not like I don’t plan on doing it. I just don’t want to follow the trajectory of what the industry wants me to do.

Which is what?

Put on a cape and wear a mask. I need to take more agency because no one’s going to do it for me. It’s tricky, but it’s interesting and pretty exciting. I’m going to hang out with my family in Ohio and then start to figure out where I’m going to go. I would like to ultimately be of service and of use; that’s when I feel at my best.

You can find here: https://www.nytimes.com/2021/05/27/arts/television/mike-faist-panic-west-side-story.html

[bijouxcarys]

Happy 76th birthday to the Nature Kid himself, Mr Steven Tyler💕

Something that has struck me throughout my time as an Aerosmith fan, or more specifically a Steven fan, I’d just how genuinely sweet he is. I didn’t expect him to change my entire life and teach me how to embrace music the way I do now. Without him, I would never have been so comfortable in my love for music. Without him, my interest for in the hippie era and earthling culture wouldn’t exist.

I went into the fandom expecting a typical rockstar, and honestly didn’t know anything about him. But as I fell in love with Aerosmith’s music, I started watching interviews and eventually I bought Steven’s autobiography… that was when everything changed for me.

Not only is this man one of the most amazing vocalists, musicians, writers to ever exist; he is also one of the most genuine, funny, kind humans on the planet. Setting up Janie’s Fund, to helping out kids with disabilities. Fucking ANGEL.

Stories circulate, but what else can you expect when it comes to the Screamin’ Demon, our little ADHD king?

Anyway I adore this man. And I hope he’s okay and having the best birthday.

[blackwood4stucky]

to become a monster

a morbius stucky au

Just imagine a lil Stevie Rogers tryna make it in the world. A brilliant young boy with a keen mind for science, stuck in a facility to help him live.

Enter Brock Rumlow, just another kid with bad blood running through his veins. Dubbed Arnie by Stevie, after a string of boys that always end up leaving the facility in body bags, Brock and the little blond mastermind become good friends.

Fast Forward to the Future

Dr. Steven "Steve" Rogers and Arnie are still best friends. Arnie funds Steve's research for a cure to their disease and others like them.

Enter Dr. James "Bucky" Barnes, army vet turned scientist with a metal arm to show for his efforts.

Working with Dr. Rogers was something else, the guy was a firecracker with a mind for the ages. Bucky learned so much from Steve, he grew to admire the blond's inner strength that made him seem larger than life, his willingness to help people, to give his all in order to save lives.

Once Bucky realizes what Steve's research is actually about and what he plans to do... well, Bucky goes with him. He's not going to allow Steve to do this alone! Absolutely not, Steve would have to count his fuckin' days if he ever thought he would be attempting self-experimentation on his own! He's going to make sure nothing happens to him, even if he has to conduct the procedure with Steve. Save that little asshole from himself...

It breaks Bucky's heart to see Steve lyin' on that table like that but if helps him live, he'll wait by his side because that's what partners do. He doesn't know how he'll react if something goes wrong, he doesn't know how he'll go on without his Stevie.

Of course, things do end up doing wrong. Sleazy mercenaries that think they're above everyone get caught in the crosshairs and Bucky, well... he gets hurt.

Steve can't believe what he's done. Bucky's lying there on the ground, he's still alive - heartbeat strong in his chest, metal arm resting limp at his side. All he knows is that he can't leave Bucky like this... but he can't get caught in the crosshairs by the authorities either. So he makes a call... then he leaves...

Steve is a scientist at his core, he knows he'll have to see just how powerful he has become, to understand just what he can do. Of course that comes with consequences when Arnie comes back into the picture with his own desire to live. Steve knows that no one can get their hands on the serum he created, not even Arnie.

Bucky wakes in a daze to officers in his hospital room. So many questions about Steve's whereabouts, about dead mercenaries, about unsanctioned experiments, but he says nothing. He knows nothing, he hit his head and blacked out, there's nothing he can help the officers with. He would rather die than turn on Stevie.

Bucky knows the cops will be watching him after that interview though. He weaves through the city with his work bag on his shoulder, trying to lose his tail. He speaks Romanian with the bodega owner before dashing out the back of the store and onto the next bus that comes his way.

Hearing Steve's voice behind him sends tremors of relief and desire through his veins. Stevie's okay, is all Bucky can think. There is no way he will let the little bastard out of his sight again. Only, he's a big bastard now.

Stevie as always needs Bucky's help. Arnie has lost his marbles and stole a vial of the serum to become the monster Steve wanted to protect the world from. Bucky vows to do whatever it takes to help Steve, he always will, till the end of the line.

Getting back into the lab is easy for Bucky. No cops anywhere, retrieving everything Steve needs will be a breeze. Or it should have been. Arnie was waiting for him, or rather, for his Stevie. It's easy to keep his heartbeat calm but how long will he be able to keep this up?

Bucky returns to Stevie's side in the makeshift lab where they spend a little time getting reacquainted with each other. Where they can finally act on desires they've had for awhile.

The moment doesn't last but often times they never do. Being pulled away from Bucky never settles well in Steve's stomach but his old mentor needs his help.

It's obvious that all this was Arnie's doing to draw him away from his Bucky. That much is plain when he hears both of them calling on the wind. Stevie, Stevie, Stevie. Arnie's plan in drawing Steve out works, nothing will keep him from Bucky but it's too late. A kiss of death is all Steve can give Bucky. All Bucky wants is for it to mean something as his life slips away from him but not before taking a bit of Stevie's blood into himself.

A fight to the death between Stevie and Arnie, Brock, sees Steve as the winner while Bucky claws his way back to life.

If anyone wants to write this just tell me and send me a link to read!

[sinceileftyoublog]

Say Anything Interview: Intentional Is My Default

Photo by Nicole Mago

BY JORDAN MAINZER

I'm waiting back stage at Riot Fest for Say Anything's Max Bemis to finish a photoshoot, one that sees him lie in the grass in various positions that make it look like he's stretching after a tough workout. Despite the fact that he hasn't yet gotten his real workout in yet--his newly reformed band would go on stage in a few hours--and that this photoshoot is full of capital-p Poses, I'm taken by how at ease Bemis seems with everything. When we speak, he reveals to me that, yes, while he did in fact feel awkward during the photoshoot--most of us do--he's learning to lean into his feelings much more naturally.

Five years ago, the legendary emo band disbanded, with their 2019 album Oliver Appropriate billed as their final LP for the moment. A purported sequel to their beloved sophomore record ...Is A Real Boy, the album was publicized in conjunction with a nine-page letter from Bemis, in which came out as bisexual and admitted to struggles with drug use. (The frontman has long been open about his diagnosed bipolar disorder, previous self-medication through drugs, and manic episodes.) During the pandemic, Bemis stayed busy, performing livestreams of older material, but there was always lingering doubt the band's hiatus would become permanent.

It wasn't until late last year that Bemis dropped that the band would be reuniting for festivals in 2023. In typical nonchalant fashion, he shared that the reunion would include past members drummer Coby Linder and bassist Alex Kent by replying to someone's comment on a Facebook post. In April, the band released their first new material since Oliver Appropriate, the maximally stream-of-consciousness rant "Psyche!". The song sees Bemis laying out those same struggles for everyone to bear witness to, blaming himself for his personal, marital, and familial problems atop a bevy of references to the band's older material, Titanic, and Riot Fest itself. "By Riot Fest '24, I'll be coughing up corks if you supply the Malörk," he sings, a line that's instantly iconic and bound to be infamous for its satiric misspelling of Chicago's shot of choice. In August, the band followed it up with "Are You (In) There?", which also establishes itself within our emo universe, with mentions of Sunny Day Real Estate and mewithoutYou, but a more personal ode to Bemis' wife and the love they have for each other despite his past actions and shortcomings. And just this morning, Say Anything annouced ...Is Committed (Dine Alone), their new record, along with a single entitled "Carrie & Lowell & Cody (Pendent)", Bemis placing his "mommy issues" in conversation with those of indie folk luminary Sufjan Stevens. The song is musically heavier and more complex and full-throated, while also containing gorgeous choral harmonies from Bemis' wife, Sherri Dupree-Bemis.

At one point, the future of the band was a mystery to everyone, Bemis included. But with some newfound perspectives, the musical and personal influence of new band member Brian Warren of Weatherbox, and therapy, it seemed from just the short conversation I had with Bemis and Kent that they're in a good place, ready to embrace their new chapter. Read my interview below, conducted last month before I knew about their new album, edited for length and clarity. Catch the band three nights next week at The Regent Theater in LA and at When We Were Young in Las Vegas next weekend.

Photo courtesy of Say Anything

Since I Left You: How does it feel to be back?

Max Bemis: It feels great. I don't think I would have decided to write the songs again if I didn't aspire to how this feels now, which is very different than our experience as little kids being in a punk band, which was very intense and an experience I wouldn't trade for anything. But this is comfortable, and it feels like having the best job ever, in the words of Piebald. It could have been a stress fest, anxious, or bad, but the only reason I wanted to write again was to reach for this thing that we never got to settle into, being dads approaching 40. The bands we looked up to were doing it at that age and still making inventive music but still seeming to chill and not base their entire personas and aspirations around being in a band. I think I appreciate it more now that I'm not trying to be "a guy in a band" as hard as I was.

Alex Kent: Something we've been talking about since getting back up and running was the transition from utilizing it as an escape versus a form of healing. Because we've been through so much traumatic shit in our lives, most of the time Max and I talk, we talk about therapy. It's fucking weird going from 18 years old on a tour bus to having that self-awareness and reflection.

MB: I didn't need it like that for many years because our entire life cycle was keyed in to being on tour. I wasn't living a normal person life. I'm not saying I ever have really or ever will--I wrote comic books for five years. That's still weird. We're still weirdo guys. Having a family, coming out of that kind of circus, I feel more like my 14-year-old self who needed this music for that reason.

SILY: The new songs have a self-aware quality.

MB: More than ever.

SILY: How do you include the self-awareness in a set at a festival or concert, where you're literally referring to other songs you're playing in the setlist?

MB: We refer to Riot Fest itself!

SILY: And Malörk [sic]

MB: And Malörk. It's incredibly self-referential and ironic, but because the band started that way, it's come full circle and is no longer ironic at the same time. There's still a lot of exaggeration and bullshit, but it's closer to me saying actual things that are happening. As you age, everyone's life becomes a circus, more surreal. The world has been very surreal, with COVID and Trump. You kind of have to say your inner experience now. It's an emotional, crazy, surreal thing anyway. It's not like before, when I said, "I have to think about my ex-girlfriend, but I'm thinking about my wife, and what the fuck is this about?" Now, this is about being at Riot Fest. And I am at Riot Fest.

SILY: There is a song about your wife, though.

MB: Yes. Also quite literal. So many emotions are certainly exaggerated, but the sincerity isn't. The love for my wife is very real. But even there, if you're in any successful relationship, it goes through the most intense rebirths and reformations, and you're adjusting to each other, especially after having kids. It's more potent to me to say what's happening or what my emotions are than do what we did on In Defense of the Genre, where I was literally forcing drama into my life on a regular basis. Now, I have no room. I'm tired. I have children to look after. The drama just happens from kids, life, everything. It's real and heartfelt, but a seasoned emotion and not so adolescent. I still love those songs, and I relate to them, but they all speak to a certain side of me I can't live out anymore.

SILY: Do the new songs more than ever exemplify the idea that the more personal you are, the more universal the songs can be?

MB: Yeah. But probably by being a little too hyper-specific. That's why I fell in love with this kind of music. Saves The Day got me into wanting to be in a band. What wowed me was when he was talking about the names of the other band members in song, like, "Ted's drooling on his sleeve." He's just saying he's in this New Jersey bar and he misses his girlfriend. He's not cloaking anything. Our thing has been a kind of parody of that, but now I don't have to stretch anything for it to be a parody.

Photo by Ben Trivett

SILY: What do you think Brian Warren brings to the table on the new songs?

AK: I've known Brian since we were 9 years old. Our very first band, we were in together.

MB: I wouldn't know about Weatherbox if it wasn't for Alex.

AK: He brings this calming energy. Humble is a weird word to describe him.

MB: It's accurate.

AK: Weatherbox is fucking amazing.

MB: He has more impostor syndrome than even me.

AK: He can play everything, and he writes cool shit.

MB: He's a virtuoso. The cool thing about Brian is that there's always been a connection between our bands. It's similar to me playing music with [Chris] Conley [in Two Tongues] back in the day. It's surreal, but it makes so much sense that you don't have to think about where he fits into the sonic picture or personality picture because we're friends.

AK: It's very cool how much sense it makes.

SILY: Has your relationship changed to your old songs?

MB: I like them more. Over the break from the band, I would listen to Say Anything, with my kids or in my car, alone. The way I severed it was so intentional. I wasn't saying, "The band was over." I was saying, "We're probably going to get back together, but I have to sever this incarnation." I was listening to [old Say Anything songs] and thinking, "I like Alex's bass part. I like the production. I even like my voice." It was like listening to another band, because of the space. I've grown to like them. I definitely know people in bands that are not what they listen to, but Say Anything has always been a conglomeration of the type of thing we listen to. If I'm going to listen to The Get Up Kids, I might as well listen to Say Anything.

SILY: Moving forward, are you trying to continue to be more intentional, or do what feels best?

MB: Both. I know that's cliché to say, and it does and doesn't make sense. I find that intentional is my default, and before, I would second-guess myself constantly. Now, I allow myself to make mistakes, and I let other people give me advice that before were such cerebral trips. There was a lot that weighed on me. If the lyrics are super intentional and literal, I'm just going to do it. If I feel awkward in a photo shoot like right now, I'm just going to be awkward in the photo shoot. That is, of course, my safe and happy place in life.