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icewindandboringhorror · 5 months

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boy in silly sitting positions compilation

#cats #I especially like the last one where he just has one single paw poking out of that box for some reason lol #I still have costumes to post and like a billion other things.... grr... constantly failing at staying active on social media aughh #I think because currently my Main Focus is on trying to get my game done and stuff.. which basically just means sitting and writing all day #so there's not much to post about. Though I know the Good At Social Media thing to do would be to post about the #writing and share progress and talk about the game and characters or whatever to try to build interest or something but that is SOOO weird #to me.. I could maybe get it if it was like a tiny tiny discord groupchat of playtesters with like 5 people in #it.. But something about talking openly about things before they happen is weird to me?? Like presumptuous feeling or something #''oooo guess whats gonna happen LATER!!!'' like.. how do you know.. what if it doesnt. what if you dont finish it. what if its not the way #you think it's going to be. what if something changes. etc. Like I literally avoid movie trailers and game trailers for the same reason ghj #Even if it's not ME doing it it just feels... weird.. Maybe it has to do with my OCD and how I just don't like talking about ''future''#things in Certain Terms. Like if I was going to say ''Oh yeah sure. come over to my house in a few months''. I would have to follow it up #with like ''HOPEFULLY you can come over to my house in a few months'' or 'They'll come over in a few months MOST LIKELY''. Because just #stating that something will happen matter of factly takes for granted like.. what if somehting horrible happens and I DONT have a house #in a few months? or what if something bad happens to me. or to the person coming over? I can't ever DEFINITELY say with 100% certainty #that one could ACTUALLY come to my house in a few months. anything could change. So I have to allot for that in my phrasing. hbjjkn #There are a lot of situations where you're expected to just Assume Things but for some reason that bothers me. My brain literally does not #even Assume the most basic things.. like how do *I* know that just because it's someones birthday that they want to be wished a happy #birthday? what if they dont? everyone is different and has different preferences. I should check with them first. or wait until they public #ly announce that theyre accepting birthday wishes. I have to allot for all 5034859069 rare possibilities at any given time and never take #anything for certain. etc. ghjbjhbh.... ANYWAY.. I have been feeling a bit sick lately as usual.. but still slowly making progress on some #things. Moslty I need to edit costume photos. make sculptures. and work on the game. Going back reading some of the old writing from like #2018 and suprisingly I don't have to change that much of it? In fact I like it mostly. so that's good. I would be very interested if I were #playing the game myself. Though that doesnt mean much since my tastes are so niche lol..#Still really want to clear some of my million tumblr drafts as well... alas and aughh and ooughh and so on and so forth. Between all of my #evil appointments other such things...why cant I have one billion dollar to retire into relaxed hermit artist life of no stressors.. bleas

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evnnkinard · 25 days

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sooo i've decided to move blogs ...again, but for good this time i promise🫣 i've not been feeling a lot of things about this one for a while now, but over the last week i decided to stop talking myself out of moving and just do it. so you can now find me over at @kinrdevan if you still wish to follow me !!

#it's only a sideblog to this one. so i shall still be following + liking from here.#it sounds silly but this blog is just a very big mess in a lot of ways and it's been making me feel so disorganised #and when i feel disorganised even in the tiniest way i can't think. or focus. and it's been causing me to struggle with my writing.#which i very much don't like because writing is enough of a struggle on the best of days #also this is low on the list of reasons but i've not been vibing with my url for a bit now either. the two n's are hurting my eyes #and i know i could've just changed it on this blog. but two birds one stone i guess

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lala-blahblah · 23 days

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I will never make this because it would be for an audience of one (me) but ever since reading "If we Were Villains" (story about serious drama kids in college who perform shakespeare and deal with a murder) I have been entertaining the thought of a crack fic crossover with High School Musical The Musical The Series where the staff decides they will no longer put on shakespeare after the tragic accident that happened at Thanksgiving, because Shakespeare plays would only increase the tension and drama. So they hire Ms. Jen who decides their spring play will actually be High School Musical (which exists in the 90s in this universe) and it ruins the vibe so much that everyone gives up on being dark and mysterious because they're universally pissed at Ms Jen for making them learn choreoraphed basketball dancing.

#if we were villains is actually genuinely good and has actual literary worth and pulls from shakespeare in an intelligent meaningful way #but unfortunately all i can do is comedy so this is the only fan content i have to offer :(#THE THING IS iwwv is just hsmtmts if it hsmtmts was good and also they committed crimes #they utilize the same parallel of casting choices with real life drama which I love #umm so casting: Meredith would be Sharpay Obvi. I think it would be really funny if James was cast as Ryan bc they hate eachother and would #have to pretend to be siblings working together. And I think ashley tisdale and Lucas Gabreel actually didn't get along when filming #also i love the thought of Ms Jen looking at James and going “i know what you are”#HOWEVER it would be more interesting if james was Chad to Oliver's Troy (which is really just reversing their Romeo and Juliet moment)#bc chad is like nooo don't do theater... stick with me and do basketball... but it would be Coded Subtextually #Unfortunately Wren would be typecast as Gabriella and I don't think that would cause drama bc I don't believe James actually liked her!#I think it was comp het bc she was very sweet and nonthreatening as opposed to Meredith's big flirting energy so she would be a “safe” crus #lets lean into that actually. this gives Wren a chance to have a personality (bc I enjoy this book but it is not good at fleshing out women #So oliver and Wren spend more time together and kind of talk about James a little and Wren is like yeah James is very sweet #and I like him but it feels so hard to get him to feel comfortable with me... i guess he's just closed off and doesn't talk much #we also get to see more of her personality and interests maybe she's like I relate to gabriella because I also like to Read :) feminism #and oliver is like Hmm That Is Not My Experience With Him perhaps our bond is deeper and James does like me Hm #And then Meredith can flirt with him as Sharpay and James gets pissed and in character gets very intense about how Troy can't join THEATER #that's why he's upset and sad bc sharpay represents theater and only that reason and nothing else and he isn't in love with oliver At All #Alexander can be Ryan now since James is Chad (and he's also Gay) and Filippa can be Kenzie bc they're both queer coded #Anyway at rehearsal one day Meredith and James and Oliver are having their fighting over troy moment and then Meredith stops and is like #wait guys. This musical is so freaking stupid. why are we even doing this #and their mutual frustration at their art being turned into a farce is enough to bond them together and they're like #we need to focus on our REAL enemy: ms Jen #and then they hatch a scheme and it's probably like. They dump a bucket of fake blood on her at opening night a la carrie #and then put on their own rebellious production... it still has to be a musical because i like musicals #families with children are in the audience and they're like OK FOLKS! HERE'S ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW!#if we were villains #iwwv #hsmtmts #high school musical the musical the series

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pekoeboo · 28 days

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ugh. some thoughts.

really been trying to find the joy in drawing/writing again and honestly it's been such a challenge. friends have told me it's most likely depression that's making it hard to feel motivated and tbh they're probably right.

hoping to get back into being creative in the way I Want to be at some point tho. I miss it. there's still so much with my stories and characters that I haven't been able to share or explain and I wish I knew how without it feeling like this daunting, impossible task.

I don't know when I'll get around to actually sharing art again (or writing, if ever). was hoping that I'd manage to get some of my mental and physical issues in check recently for just long enough to get back into the swing of being creative, but that hasn't seemed to work. everything feels bad, both artistically and physically. I'm struggling to keep up with the frantic pace at which my brain comes up with story concepts and intriguing character interactions, even tho everything in me wishes I could turn it into tangible artistic expression so I can get it out of my head and share it. it used to be easy. I don't know why it's not now.

I'm just . tired, I guess.

#spectre says #text post #negative #vent post #delete later #sorry #i probably shouldn't post this idk #tbh i know i've said this a million times but. even if i'm struggling to draw or whatever #i'm still open for asks. i want so badly to talk about my characters and the things i've been unable to explain through art #but i can't get my own thoughts together enough to know where to start with that in like. just a random post #and asks would be a great way for me to actually focus on one concept at a time based on whatever you guys are curious about #but i hate sounding like i'm begging for attention/interaction i just. genuinely don't know if anyone is interested otherwise #and if you guys do want to know more you HAVE to tell me directly #because vague forms of engagement are difficult for me to comprehend or read between the lines of #i can't read minds obviously ><;;#i know ask culture has changed a lot over the years tho and a lot of ppl don't like sending them out of being shy or whatever #which i understand #it's kind of an awkward form of engagement that no other site really has #so no pressure i'm just letting you know that I won't know if any of you guys are interested in learning more about my stuff #if i'm not told directly is all #anyway. tangent aside #its just been rough mentally my dudes. hopefully things clear up at some point and i won't feel so dead all the time #and actually have the mental clarity to continue drawing/writing like i used to again;;; God willing;;

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forcedhesitation · 5 months

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okay I redid the last astarion picture I shared a wip of because it was a) too graphic for its intended purpose b) didn't fit with the more dynamic posing of the other pieces

here is a peak at the new astarion pic & a look at the wyll & lae'zel wips

#bg3 #myart #wip #*spends hours on a drawing and then scraps it because it doesn't meet insane personal standards* i'm mentally normal I promise #I'm also sexually normal about blood and horror. I promise :)#anyway. I plan to finish all three of these and make gootoob timelapse videos for each of them.#I don't want to lie to anyone and say I'll draw any other companions in this style. I'm sorry. I likely won't.#at most I'll finish the sketch I did of corydalis because I like it.#but I would rather finish these and focus on the fancy pieces I'm making for each companion I've romanced & their respective tav.#in addition to wyll & astarion- that collection will include gale & one of the ladies. not sure which one yet. still deciding!#ideally it'd be one illustration for each companion & their partner but every day is a battle with the chronic illness so I can never-#-definitively say what I'll have energy for because I can never know.

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notjanine · 3 months

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me a week ago: i love my job!!

me now, after having a mid-year review that amounted to you’re doing an excellent job and you bring such a valuable perspective to our practice but i don’t have the ability to give you a raise right now but don’t worry bc i just hired a new CFO to try to figure out money so we can maybe give you a raise later this year: *breaks into a cold sweat as i crack open indeed dot com*

#like how have you hired FOUR new employees in the past year (two new providers a new admin assistant and now a CFO)#without having plans for people to level up?#also i have talked to a friend who got hired at a similar practice a few months after me and she’s already making way more than me!#and you know who else makes more than i do?#my 19yo nephew who didn’t even finish high school. to be fair he’s grinding way more than he should #but also so am i!!#my disabled ass is working 6-7 days/week almost every week and i can barely afford to LIVE in the city where i live!!!#anyway don’t mind me i’m only apartment hunting #while also knowing that my paycheck is about to be hundreds of dollars lighter every month bc my health insurance is about to kick in #right now it’s either looking like we are gonna have to live in the world’s shittiest apartment (not even in the nice part of the city) or #we might just have to find something outside the city. which would be farther from work and friends and everything #yes i am having a full mental breakdown every single day and it’s only gonna get worse bc i’m due to start pmsing any second now #and also my last day at my hospital job is this weekend #bc everyone (including my boss) has encouraged me to quit and focus on only the one job #so now that’s also at least a few hundred bucks more i won’t be making every month #godddddddd #i hate it here i hate it here #did you know? having a fulfilling job still sucks if you aren't fairly compensated???#this is also what happens when you are part of a hot girl profession where everyone else is married to husbands with tech jobs #so they don't have to worry about money like this #anyway anyway anyway #i have never had anxiety so high that i feel as if i might puke before and i used to have a panic disorder so this is a fun new experience #a nice cherry on top of the typical summer depression which is also beating my ass yet again!

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sherlock-is-ace · 5 months

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#oh wow...#i just had an oh shit fuck moment #wow #i usually complain about the one therapist i had in my entire life and how she wouldn't just listen to what i was saying #if it didn't fit her textbook definition of whatever she was thinking at the time #and how i talked to her about my anxiety and how that made me feel and she would only focus on how i acted #so the example i gave her was the one time i went into a shop to buy something by myself #because my mom didn't want to go in for me and arguing with my mom in front of the shop in public and then inevitably have to #go in myself either way was way worse to me #because of the embarrassement of arguing in public. the fact that my mom was gonna spend the entire walk home telling me how i have to #''just suck it up and learn and just overcome my anxiety because i don't have a problem'' or whatever #and then having to go into the shop where the lady had been watching me from inside the entire time how i clearly didn't want to go in #and possibly be even more awkward with teary eyes because of the anxiety and awkwardness i already bring to the table any day...#all of those things that were going inside my head were trumped by the fact that i did go in and did buy what i needed #although my heart was coming out of my chest the entire time... all that didn't matter to my therapist because in her words:#''if you had anxiety. you simply wouldn't have gone in''#which is ridiculous #but anyways... i just had an epiphany... that was masking wasn't it?#forcing myself to do something that brings me major discomfort to make my mother and the shop lady not judge me?#pretend i'm a normal human being just doing normal things instead of someone who's about to have a heart attack buying embroidery thread?#panicking the entire time because i wasn't prepeared and hadn't scripted the entire transaction in my head?#yet still going in and putting on my ''normal person'' mask to try to seem like i wasn't just dying seconds ago (and still was)?#isn't that literally what masking is?!#and the ''autism specialist'' ass therapist was like ''if you did it then you don't have a problem''#when i'm literally telling her how much of a problem it actually WAS?!#you know what's the best part about all this #that when i told my mom after i left that therapist that she didn't listen to me because [insert everything above]#my mom's response was ''well sometimes therapist will say things that you don't want to hear but you have to accept them''....#same woman who's always saying how much she hates therapists because they ''will say whatever and pretend they know shit''#ok so it's only The Truth when I tell you it isn't...

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quixoticanarchy · 1 year

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I think if you have a public platform with which you discuss or purport to teach science, it is wholly irresponsible and frankly pathetic to try to sidestep questions about climate change and the human impact on ecological and geophysical systems. while outright climate denial is worse, the “well there’s something going on but... we don’t have all the evidence yet... i’m not very familiar with the science.. both sides get lots of things wrong...” waffling is, at this stage in the game, asinine. grow a spine or shut up.

#consequence of watching geology youtube for too long is. while this guy knows a lot of things he is also on my nerves now #just!! you don't have to go into every detail or open a whole debate - in fact that's what you should not do! don't make this debatable!#don't leave space for denialism! jfc!!!#im sure he's not the only one which is part of why this is phrased vaguely but. come On my guy #if you don't know the science do a little cursory reading and state some facts - then move on since it's not your focus etc #but for fuck's sake. don't act like these questions are still this open #climate crisis #science

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medicinemane · 3 months

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I don't know... horrible things happen all around the world and it's not a competition

Atrocities are committed against multiple groups in multiple parts of the world at the exact same moment, and none of them erase each other. They all matter, all the people in this world who are being brutalized matter. There shouldn't be any line you draw where one group doesn't actually matter as much as another

You're welcome to prioritize your energy towards helping one group or another, but what's not ok is invalidating or dismissing people who are actively being harmed

Same goes for trying to figure out which social group has things worst (and lets be honest, always using a US lens)

Like... maybe the important thing is to prop each other up and help everyone get on their own feet rather than trying to... pick fights about if physical disabilities or mental illness are less respected (I'm trying to pick a more absurd example but sadly I've seen exactly that argument happen before). Maybe it doesn't really matter and what matters is helping who we can when we can

I'm tired of it, I'm just fucking tired of it. Support people, champion them when the world is just brutalizing them, but you don't need to throw a single other person under the bus to do that

Which seems to be an absolutely impossible lesson for people to learn

#I won't say anything else on this; but I will say that to me one of the groups that it feels like is most forgotten is Syrians #including by me if I'm honest #I don't know what's currently happening in Syria... but... my understanding is it still hasn't really gotten better #assad is still brutalizing people last I had heard #so rather than saying anything else I'd prefer to simply focus on some people it feels like were forgotten back during Obama #and... and have remained forgotten #and I'm sorry I can't do more to help with the suffering in the world #but... you notice what I'm not having to do here?#I'm not having to throw a single other person under the bus #I'm able to just focus on how much I wish for Syrians to be ok (which is a hollow gesture on my part in many ways I think)#and I can keep all the focus on Syrians rather than throwing anyone else under the bus or doing any whataboutism #and that's literally all I'm asking of you fucking people #don't downplay human misery to try and make your thing seem more important #they're both fucking important... they're all important #there's so much suffering I can't even keep up with it #there's so much of it that I can only name without knowing the details; Congo; I believe Sudan is still suffering; Haiti #I don't know how things are in Ethiopia right now... I can't keep track #and none of these situations and the horrible things they're dealing with; things I haven't even been able to follow #none of it detracts from and of the issues I am following more closely #I don't need to compare them and say 'well it's not as bad'; because... bad is bad and any is too much #and nothing I say here will do a damn thing; no one'll hear and even if they did they'd ignore it or get pissed #that's what my evidence shows me about how people behave #but suffering isn't a competition; the correct amount is zero #and... perhaps I'd have more tolerance if I hadn't watched how you behave with stuff #...the worst part is the person I adore who... man... I wish I could just get them to really think through their words #they mean well; they're coming from a place of love; but I just haven't been able to paint the picture for them of the harm #and I'm flawed; I don't have all the answers; I could be wrong here #but... can you at least see why I feel that maybe we shouldn't pit misery against each other #that the people suffering have more in common with each other than opposed and... maybe westerners aren't fucking helping #eh... too fucking drained thinking about this; end of tags

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front-facing-pokemon · 1 year

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#makuhita #so fun fact about makuhita. this was my favorite pokémon when i was a kid #i don't know *why* it was‚ i just know that me as a kid really liked this pokémon. i think it was something about their eyes and their round #shape that just made me think it was cute. they're certainly not my favorite pokémon anymore as my favorite has shifted over and over #recently as i've been figuring everything out but this one i distinctly remember being my favorite when i was a kid #and that was before i even played rt to know abt the makuhita dojo. it was totally in isolation of that. i really just liked the way it look #ed. i'm pretty sure it's 'cause one of the fuckers in pyrite had a shadow makuhita? and that's how i like. came to figure out they existed #i remember not wanting to purify them bc i thought shadow rush was too good and they kept getting boring moves like focus energy #that i thought were useless bc they didn't do damage and so i thought it was gonna get *another* bad move to replace shadow rush #i dunno it was a whole thing. even after i purified them i remember being so upset when they evolved into hariyama #bc i did not like the way hariyama looked at all and thought it was an abomination compared to makuhita #i think i ended up making a new save file and just mashing B every time they tried to evolve. which i figured out you could do #and that's. that's my makuhita story. every time i see this pokémon i think about that story. because it's so rare #no one ever talks about makuhita so i feel like it's rare that i actually get to remember this. so i still do every time

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hippogrifffeathers · 11 months

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Fic Masterpost

long-overdue, but we got there in the end. apologies if the formatting is lacking/awkward to navigate, and thanks for reading!

everything has also been posted to my hl ao3 account, if that's your platform of choice

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(i can't) reign it in

ao3 | chapter one | chapter two | chapter three

In the immediate aftermath of battle, the professors race further into the foundations of Hogwarts. They daren't focus on the dangerous pickling of magic in the air, or how empty wiggenweld bottles crack underfoot- all that matters is getting to MC and Eleazar. They find them, but in a worse state than anyone could have foreseen. In the weeks that follow, MC struggles to cope with the grief of losing Professor Fig, determined to solider on alone. Repressing that pain has potentially devastating consequences for the secret of Ancient Magic.

(a three-parter exploring what i imagine the aftermath of the final battle might look like, coupled with concerned staff, and the support of our beloved companions)

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Mentor Privileges

ao3 | tumblr

'What just happened?' 'I just got us out of trouble.' 'No, you just pulled an Ominis.' 'I what' 'Excuse me?'

When Professor Weasley catches MC, Sebastian, and Ominis sneaking back into the castle after curfew, it seems like only one desperate move might keep them out of serious punishment. Except, before Ominis can even murmur a syllable about his family connections to the Headmaster, MC is speaking, claiming Professor Fig authorised their excursion, and it turns out there's another trump card among their ranks. Afterall, how could a professor argue with another professor?

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Is This Seat Taken?

ao3 | tumblr

Ominis didn't usually mind History of Magic. Dull as it was, at least the class gave him a change to get some peaceful sleep for once. It was almost enough to make up for the stinging loneliness that came with the reminder that he was sitting alone, that nobody wanted to sit next to a Gaunt- nobody except Sebastian and once upon a time, Anne.

And maybe, in the light of a newly blossoming friendship, MC.

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A Foal's Trust

ao3 | tumblr

Death had a way of haunting you, especially when it occurs at your own hands. Sebastian hasn't been the same since that fateful night in the Feldcroft Catacombs, and struggles to come to terms with who he is in the aftermath- his gaze skirted around mirrors, he couldn't trust his own defensive magic, and begins to fade in to himself, steeping in self doubt.

For weeks, MC has felt condemned to watch as Sebastian's thoughts drifted to where they couldn't follow, longing to reach out and help, but feeling lost in knowing where to start.

But maybe it doesn't have to come from them.

And as it happens, they know just the den of unicorns that might be able to help.

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Don't Blame Me

ao3 | chapter one

Sebastian's concerns for MC's safety are at an all-time high. He's had it with their recklessness, their decision to trust a goblin the final nail in the coffin- if they refuse to listen to reason, insisting on continually endangering themselves, then Sebastian would simply have to take measures into his own hands.

When rumours begin to circulate about their latest exploit (the takedown of an ashwinder base) he's hit with an epiphany. Perhaps the enemy of his friend, could be his ally.

Whatever happened next, at least he'd always know MC was alive, no matter what the cost.

#hogwarts legacy #my fics #hogwarts legacy mc #sebastian sallow #ominis gaunt #eleazar fig #all my fics are seasoned with seb x mc even where it isn't the focus simply bc of who i am as an individual #on this note i think i'll be dropping off for a while #i'll still stop by this account from time to time #and the ao3 #but probably no more writing unless i fall back into hl sometime in the future #unsure if this is common (but from the fandom death it sure looks like it is) but i've struggled to find motivation in this fandom?#which is something i could s o talk on about for a while (fandom death is always interesting especially if the fandom is new)#and sadly it really has got the best of me for hl #but hey idk i'd like to at least finish my pt two of 'don't blame me'!#how does one do a /fic/ masterpost i simply do not know

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avalonships · 2 months

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