#still very upset and absolutely heartbroken. but in general when things upset me I have only a few hours before the icy neutrality sets in

[iloveyoumorethansoup]

Update: still throwing myself a pity party and apparently many people world wide are as well

[raayllum]

i'm literally sitting here trying to figure out what EVEN i can SAY about aspec rayllum here? i think about them and i want to combust into heart emojis. i watched the first season when it first came out and then only happened to catch up last year with my qpp, and in between i was like. so infuriated when i found out they'd made rayla and callum a thing bc i - naturally - latched onto the green and purple character as an aroace icon at 18 years old, and my partner was like "no no no no TRUST me you've got to watch it, you'll love it"

they weren't wrong and after bingeing the whole show i'm stuck thinking about rayllum a LOT. they're written so much like my own ideal relationship that i kind of want to explode from it sometimes. anyway, my absolute favorite thing about them is how much emphasis there is about their friendship - to the point that when i watched season four, I can't remember which episode specifically it was number wise but when rayla suggested splitting up and offered to go with callum and he turns her down, my first immediate heartbroken thought was "she misses her best friend..." i just love how they're in love but they're in love cos they're best friends....11/10 no notes i need more relationships like that in media

ANYWAY long rambley ask about my loves aside, my question is what are some of your favorite moments where rayllum are so clearly best friends/goofballs in love?

No like honest to god though — me and the Rayla to my Callum are also in a QPR + dash of romance relationship and like... arc 1 and arc 2 Rayllum are just so goddamn sweet??

I don't agree generally that arc 2 Rayllum is more Mature™ than arc 1 rayllum — Callum is more patient and Rayla is more open, so they've matured as individuals — but merely just that they're different flavours of aspec-ness. Like arc 1 is the craziness and rollercoaster of meeting a stranger and realizing they're Your Person, and arc 2 is the deepness after the fact of "I know you, and I know that we can get through everyone so long as we have each other" mostly cause I think the main reason people label arc 1 Rayllum as more immature is because s3 Rayllum gushes over each other, but that's bc people have a hard time conceptualizing having deep admiration for your partner(s) that isn't infatuation... even though like? It's totally normal and welcome, like any long term relationship is "my partner is the most amazing person ever and i'm also very aware of all their flaws simultaneously" and like, arc 1 Rayllum hits that balance perfectly imo

I just love all of their stages and sides to them so so much

But yeah! Some of my fave moments Rayllum wise for the Best Friends quality has to be when they help each other up in 3x05 (Callum after the soulfang chase and Rayla on the ambler) because things are Weird but they're still always going to help each other? The "I missed my best friend" quality in s4 with no one laughing at Callum's jokes / talking about magic with him (vs their first scene in 5x01 being him telling her all about the magic stuff he's reading) and Rayla keeping her disappointment at bay always hits hard and I loove 4x06 when she's beating herself up and he takes care of her because a Good Relationship isn't about how you treat each other when everything's fine, it's 100% about how treat each other when life is hard/stressful and/or you're upset with each other

But I love all the gentle teasing in early S5 and the fist bump lives in my head eternally rent free. The 2x03 hug also means a lot to me cause that was the turning point she went from being a friend to being family and I think in a lot of ways, that's their relationship's most important turning point alongside maybe 1x06 (trusting her anyway!) 4x09 (forgiveness) and 5x04 (her opening up).

5x02 post-inn and stargazing scene are also faves just because of how happy they are talking about Nothing and everything, and like — that's just so fucking real, y'know? When someone makes everything automatically better just by being there

As Callum says, "We've been through a lot, and a lot has changed. Well, some things have changed, but not everything," and this never will

[starry-blue-echoes]

You know, your Golden Child AU reminded me of a similar AU I made, where Jonathan, in his dying moments aboard the ship, is suddenly sent back to the past, a month or two after Dio arrived at the manor.

And for a while, he wonders if this is some kind of hallucination before death or life flashing before his eyes, and eventually he realises that this is all real.

The first thing he does is go over to the mask on the wall and smash it into pieces.

(George was so upset, especially since the mask belonged to Mary, and punished him for that. But it was more than worth it.)

Jonathan had long since learnt from Speedwagon and Erina that the way he was treated by his father was wrong and he never deserved that, but still... he wants to try and do things 'right' this time. He hadn't been sent far back enough to stop Dio from assaulting Erina, or to save Danny, but he's determined to make the most of it. Maybe... if he could excel in his studies and act like a proper gentleman, he could prove himself to George. He has better coping mechanisms for studying now- and he knows most of the basic education stuff, so he doesn't need to stress so hard over studying anymore!

And maybe, just maybe, he could stop Dio from going down a dark path, if he kept trying to befriend him and get to know him better.

Missing the ones who truly loved him as much as he did them, he also took a risk, sneaking out of the house during his grounding for breaking the stone mask, finding his way onto Ogre Street.

Speedwagon, recently crowned king of Ogre Street, was very confused about this weird lost kid who seemed completely unafraid at being held at knifepoint (and seemed a bit too happy to see him?). But eventually he hears him out. Jonathan comes clean about everything, and wasn't too surprised to be believed, but having someone on his side still made him really emotional.

Unfortunately, back home, nothing goes right. Dio absolutely resents Jonathan's newfound confidence and boldness, and the more he tries to reach out to him, the harder Dio tries to hurt him back.

Jonathan also soon realises nothing he does will ever be good enough for his father. Even when he doesn't slip up, George always finds fault in everything he does, and would not listen to anything he has to say. The revelation leaves him heartbroken but also frees him from fighting so hard for his approval.

He ends up leaving the house frequently to spend more time with Speedwagon. When he finds out he's able to generate Hamon, he uses it to heal the sick or injured who are unable to see a doctor.

That's about all I have for now. Maybe vampires might still happen, there are a lot of masks, and what if someone heard about George losing a memento of his late wife, and gifts him a stone mask uncovered from a different location? Heh heh.

Y E S S S S S S S S S

TIME TRAVEL FIXITS MY BELOVED-

oh Jonathan oh sweetie oh baby-

oh my god I'm LOVING this idea though

what if smashing the mask was an incredibly impulsive decision. He suddenly wakes up in the middle of the night in a body that's much too small in a house that doesn't exist anymore in a room that was too big and empty and everything hurt his skin was burning and crawling and itching he needs to run to hide to leave, everything's on fire he feels the smoke on his tongue, in his lungs

the next thing he knows he's running through the halls of the manor, tears flowing like rivers down his face. He doesn't know how but he manages to get to the main room and the mask is there sitting on the wall cold stone empty eyes sitting there tainting him mocking him it can't be here it ruined everything it can't be here it can't be here-

The next thing he knows, a servant is pulling him back from a pile of rock in a firm grip and restraining his bloody, broken hands and speaking to him in soft, desperate tones

it had been so long since he'd been small enough to be held in this way, and that combined with everything else it's no surprise Jonathan breaks down

Jonathan is completely mentally gone when his father scolds him. His brain is far away somewhere else freaking the hell out over the insanity he's managed to land himself in, debating whether everything was a dream or if this is a dream or if he's finally lost it, on and on and on spiraling further and further into his head

barely a few days later with his hands still bloody and broken he takes a trip to Ogre Street to find proof what he remembered wasn't a dream, and he finds it

Speedwagon is...... definitely weirded out by this strange kid and just how much he knows about him, but he seems to be a genuinely good guy and also he's clearly telling some truth if the weird magic healing lightning he can use is any indicator. He even offered to teach him! .......also the guy generally looks like he could use some help, he honestly looks like he's going to burst into tears at any moment

speaking of Hamon, despite the danger of the Stone Mask now being presumably dealt with, I can see Jonathan continuing to practice it. It's comforting and good repetition, plus it's nice to have some insurance just in case things go poorly. Zeppeli's gonna be in for such a surprise when he shows up-

Also yesssssss with the replacement masks, Pillarmen shenangians are going to be insane

[night-market-if]

It is so valid for MC to be angry with Milo. But I’m interested to see how Milo responds to an MC who is just. So, so beside themselves hurt and heartbroken about the situation. Especially if they’re romancing him. There have been so SO many instances of MC asking for help, even if it’s just moral support…hell even TELLING Milo “this is scary, I am scared, I want to help but I can’t do it alone” (which like…. Hello, their entire relationship and dilemma as the _ and _ in one sentence) and Milo let them suffer, felt bad, tried to comfort them but kept hurting them by intentionally withholding info. It’s clear MC trusts (or trusted) him and he continuously betrayed that trust all the while being sweet and lovey-dovey and even intimate with them in some cases (and more than once!!) An MC who is reliant on others, is so vulnerable, is so understanding and compassionate towards him in the story and even though they’re NOT doing great themselves still tries so hard to help Milo. Oh. 😭And an MC who tried to tell them they LOVED him??? And he knew??? The first person MC loved like THAT??? OH my heart breaks when I think about it too much. I want to make Milo feel like absolute shit but not by berating or anything, just simply him seeing how his actions have consequences, and yes they’re literally affecting everyone, but mostly MC in the sense that they weren’t just betrayed by their (insert title here) but by someone who got close to them and made them fall in love with him. First the denial and then the desperate pitiful “why???” Devastating. The hopeless despair of someone you love and think is in your corner hurting you so SO intentionally. Knife to the heart.

I think Milo expects anger and venom from MC. I think that he’s steeled himself for that and a response he’s most used to when he fucks up (even beginning from his childhood) , but that clear utter devastation from MC- Not anger, just raw pain and upset. Just wanting to know why. Being such a mess they can barely speak. The desperation of “if you give me a good enough reason I can forgive you,I want to forgive you please tell me this suffering has meaning because it has to because I love you”. allowing him to see the damage he’s brought not just to the world in general but to this person he claims to care for and “want to save” will truly throw him.

Milo would love nothing more than to be greeted with anger. It makes it easier. He can be the villain and that is who he has resigned himself to be. And I think he very well could fall into that category at moments. No matter his intentions, he did choose not to tell the MC what was happening.

There is the opportunity to be hurt in the next chapter. To ask him to his face if any of this meant anything to him. I think what can be seen about Milo after this game, is he is a man that does stick to his beliefs and his convictions. But that does not always mean he likes what he has to do.

I am very much setting up a juxtaposition between our two known Gatekeepers and how they handle the market itself. This will give the MC a lot more opportunity to kind of decide which route to take in the future, knowing more than one bit of information. But as for the romance with Milo? It's going to be hard. I think there is trust broken. I think there are things at play that make this all incredibly difficult, and I do not believe Milo is a man who has the proper tools to navigate something so heavy with grace.

I think most people will either come out wanting to try further with Milo in book 2, or wanting nothing to do with him.

🪷✨🪷✨ If you want to support me 🪷 ✨🪷✨ 

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[strangefable]

If you're still taking the Unique Character Development Questions, how about 43 & 56 for Micah, and 40 & 92 for Lilith?

Yes, I’m always open for questions! It takes me a while to answer, but I’m always overjoyed to receive them. Thank you <3

43. Five years ago, who did they look up to? Do they still look up to them now? If not, why?

This is actually complicated for Micah. By the time she moves back to Hope County, she’s mostly burned down all her heroes for one reason or another. All but one. She was 18 when she met John Duncan; he was her everything. When things went to hell between them, she was heartbroken and lost after he simply disappeared. He’s always remained larger than life for her, through all the intervening years, even if she refused to admit it.

When she meets him again as John Seed, her feelings are... confused? mixed? a total disaster? Ahem, yeah. She’s upset with how Eden’s Gate is handling recruitment and in particular with John’s involvement. She still very much sees John the way she did when she was young despite all her best efforts, so she’s deeply torn for a long damn time. (And absolutely livid with Joseph, but that’s another rant.)

56. How can the other characters tell when they’re lying? (Looking down, picking at fingernails, not blinking, etc.)

Few people can parse Micah’s tells or body language, in general. She’s a hard nut to crack because of her complex history. Her communication styles are inconsistent and confusing to a lot of people. She doesn’t have any obvious tells that occur regularly enough for anyone to pick up on. One time, she’ll avoid eye contact, the next time, she’ll stare you down as she lies to you. She’s a confusing creature to most who meet her.

That said, there are a few who can read her. Her father knew her extremely well, Nick Rye is as close to family as she’s got left and he groks her weirdness. And John can read her like an open book, no matter how hard she tries to fight it. Though by the same token, she’s got John’s number better than anybody; all his usual tricks do not work on Micah.    

40. What song is their theme song?

I’m still putting together her playlist, so I haven’t totally cemented anything yet, but so far I really like “Lilith” by Ellise. (Is it on the nose to choose songs about her namesake, the infamous Lilith? Yes, yes it is. Am I sorry? No, no I’m not.)

92. What is something they are fine with that most people would be afraid of?

Snakes, Jacob Seed, violence... She’s a devious creature and despite her soft appearance, she doesn’t scare all that easily. She’s seen so much darkness in her young life that she’s taken the old “if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em” option.

And the only death she fears is her own. Everyone else? She may or may not crave it, depending on the person and the hour and her mood.

[bunny-xoxo]

Sitting on Karasuno’s Lap

Karasuno(sep) x reader

warning(s): reader insecurity about size, v slight timeskip spoilers Kageyama being grumpy and stupid and some grammar issues prolly 😬 i think that’s about it but lemme know if you think I need to add anything else!

a/n: got a request for reader being apprehensive about sitting on the boys from karasuno’s lap cause of their size so this is what that is! I hope this comforts u anon ily :(

And lemme say this: all these boys would most definitely love to be smothered and cuddled under their s/o pls they quite literally live for it <3

characters: daichi, sugawara, asahi, tanaka, noya, tsukishima, yamaguchi, kageyama, hinata

Daichi

I really feel like Daichi’s the kind of guy who loves picking up his s/o when they hug

He always does the classic bear hug grip around your midsection and then before you know it he’s squatting a little and lifting you up - ur size does NOT matter, if he can get your feet off the ground even a little he’s cheesing big time

He just thinks it’s so cute when you squeal or laugh and smack his arms, and you always get a hearty laugh out of him after before he grabs your face - kind of aggressively - and is leaving silly slobbery kisses all over it :((((

So basically there’s no way you can escape his infamous hugs

BUT ANYWAYS

Because of this he’d also definitely love for you to sit on his lap too!

And because he’s always lifting you when you least expect it, when you mention why you’d rather not sit on his lap he’d respect your answer and reassure you it’s not a problem,,,, while also kind of being >:( and passive aggressively explain why you most definitely wouldn’t crush him

Now next time he comes home to you, not only is he lifting you, but he’s carrying you to your bedroom to cuddle, and then maybe you’ll sigh and give in to sitting on his lap <3

Suga

He’s generally more of a lay down cuddly or holding hands in public kinda guy

But there was something about sitting down on the couch after work and seeing you come out of the kitchen with a big smile on your face that just made his heart melt and shoot his arms out with grabby hands

Of course you oblige and sit next to him and start playing with his hands, waiting for him to talk about his day, but then he’s looking at you like :( and tugging at the hem of your shirt

“No, I want to cuddle.”

When you look at him confused he groans and tugs you onto his lap with his face buried into your neck, and almost instantly you can feel him relaxing into the couch

As soon as you think he’s relaxed enough, you go to move off him, anxious you’ve been sitting on his lap too long, but when you go to move he grabs on tighter and looks up at you like 🥺

You realize that maybe he’s just fine when he pulls you father into him - if that’s even possible - and starts to drool cause he’s passed out from being so comfy <3

Asahi

It’s pretty common for Asahi to come home from a long day at work and then rest his head on your thighs while you play with his hair and let him talk about your day

It’s something he looks forward to when he’s driving home :(

Being held and comforted by your s/o is absolute heaven to him, so when you walk through the door with a big sigh while you’re rolling your shoulders, his first thought is to return the favor !

The two of you are standing in your living room now with your head in his chest while he’s rubbing your back, periodically kissing the top of your head

“Wanna sit down angel?”

When you agreed you didn’t know that meant sitting on the couch with you straddling his lap, his hand still holding your head in his chest

But before you can protest and squirm away he’s kissing you and humming while he’s still rubbing your back and soothing you :(((

This baby wouldn’t even give you a second to think about your insecurities:(

Tanaka

He’s gonna assume somebody’s said something about you almost immediately

Cause he just can’t grasp that you yourself have decided you’re too big for him

He just kind of looks at you like 🧍🏻🤨 uhhhh sit tf down I’d like you to cuddle me please 🤨?

“Tanaka, I’ll crush you.”

“Yeah, that’s kind of the point babe! Smother me ☺️❣️” really does not get the message here

Once you explicitly tell him you think you’re just too big to sit on his lap he kind of freaks

Like full on grabbing your face and shaking his head trying to do anything to convince you, you most definitely are not too big to sit on his lap

Once he convinces you he’s kissing you everywhere until you giggle cause he hates seeing his baby upset :(

Noya

I’m so sorry but at first he doesn’t even comprehend it’s an insecurity you have and thinks you’re nervous about it because of his size

“Wow, never heard ‘tiny but mighty’ babe?”

Like noya baby pls, this ain’t about you 😭

Is quite literally begging you to sit on his lap at home until you get frustrated and tell him you’re worried you’ll “crush” him because of your size - not his

He’d be kind of caught off guard at first but within seconds he’s reassuring you that’s not something you need to be worried about at all, not with him

Very similar to Yamaguchi he’s gonna convince you to give in and then absolutely smother you with affection afterwards

He’s now made it his goal to change your mindset about your size and add some more positive connotation - baby boy loves you :(

Tsuki

Will not take no for an answer either 😭

AT FIRST HE TAKES IT PERSONAL NGL

LIke he’s sitting there looking at you thinking you’re commenting on his body type like “what, you think I’m built like a string bean so I can’t handle you sitting on my lap 😐.”

AGAIN, this isn’t about you babes

So once you explain to him that no, it’s not about him it’s about you, he just:

“That’s stupid.” LIKE he’s very upset that you feel that way and doesn’t know how to express to you that you aren’t gonna crush him so the only way he knows how to tell you that is that you’re stupid for thinking that way 😭

He’d try to be physically reassuring afterward though

Kissing your forehead and telling you how it makes him sad you think that way, and why don’t you just sit on his lap so he can prove that’s not the case

You’re upset and uncomfortable at first, not really being able to relax, but after some lovin from tsuki and distraction you relax into him and bit and get comfy

He definitely makes it a regular thing so you can feel more comfortable with him :(

Yamaguchi

One of the most reassuring for sure!

The moment he felt your unease or a hint of apprehensiveness at the idea of sitting on his lap he’s investigating

Holding your face in his hands and asking you what’s wrong like 🥺

When you tell him you’re insecure about being too heavy to sit on his lap he’s definitely heartbroken, but knows this isn’t about him

So he’s quickly leaving really light kisses on your cheeks and hands promising you that’s not the case whatsoever all while he’s slowly coaxing you onto his lap

Once he’s gotten you to actually do it he’s all smiley and blushing - he’s smiling so big you can actually feel it when he’s kissing you

“Mmmmm, wanna nap?”

Just overall very affirming and attentive to your feelings :(

Kageyama

If you acted any bit shy or insecure about sitting on his lap he’d be ~so so confused

He’d be home from a long day of practice and flop down on the couch and all he wants is to be smothered by his baby 😭

He’s grumpy and just kind of grunts when you sit down next to him to talk about your day and ask about his and he just kinda reaches out to you and starts grabbing at your hips and you’re like 😳 uh yes?

You wouldn’t be budging and he’d get this pout and be all “sit on my lap 😡 I wanna cuddle”

Him asking for affection so bold like this isn’t always common for him so you don’t wanna say no BUT you’re also insecure about being too heavy so you just kinda pull him towards you and shake your head

“Why don’t you lay on me instead? I’ll play with your hair hmm?”

He’d just kind of look at you like ..... but I want you to lay on me and I can play with your hair

LMAO AND NOW YALL ARE JUST LOOKING AND KIND OF GENTLY TUGGING AT EACH OTHER LIKE 😕

But unsurprisingly the 6’2 beefy professional volleyball player is stronger than you so he just stands up and PICKS you up instead and then carries you to the bedroom where he flops down with you laying on him

At first you’re kind of frustrated and insecure cause you didn’t tell him why you were avoiding it cause you didn’t want to bring it up but then you hear Kageyama sigh and start rubbing your back from his spot underneath you and you soon realize this mf just passed out

Surely if he’s ok with you LAYING on him maybe sitting on his lap next time won’t be so awful

Hinata

Another confused baby but actually realizes somethings wrong 😭

Y’all are having a simple movie night with some pals all cuddled up on the couch and he notices there’s not too much room there, unless you sit on his lap of course, which he obviously likes the idea of

The movies playing so he tugs on your shirt a little to get your attention and whispers to you about sitting on his lap

But instead of happily hopping on like he imagined, you look away and shake your head, mumbling something about paying attention to the movie

There’s people over so he knows now isn’t the right time to pry, but he can also tell when you’re even the tiniest bit upset so he’s not gonna forget to mention something to you later tonight

You two would be getting into bed that night when he’d bring it up

“Hey, did something happen today?”

You’d tell him no but unfortunately for you he doesn’t stop asking different kinds of questions until he gets you to talk about it

When you mention that you’re insecure about being too heavy for those kinds of affection he would get so so sad, like looking at you like this ☹️ nearly tearing up

Cause he just sees it as him not doing his job as your s/o to make you comfortable and happy with him - even if that’s not actually the case

He won’t stop asking always for you to cuddle him like that but he won’t pester if you say no - you will see him get a lil pouty though

——————

I hope you guys enjoyed!!

requests are open ( I miss hq pls feel free to send some in :((()

taglist: @plutowrites @sweet-darling91

[tennessoui]

would you ever do a hunger games au? like anakin and obi-wan in the arena and doing a katniss and peeta thing where they both survive? anakin maybe killing the competitors so obi-wan wouldn't have to? (just thinking that child killing is in character for him) anyway no pressure or anything I just haven't stopped thinking about a hunger games au of obikin and. I thought maybe you could do something with it!

i need you to know i shamefully snorted at the child murder thing i'm sorry and i'm also sorry this took so long and it's a bit all over the place and doesn't actually get into the Games at all (+ it's been years since I read the books so all inaccuracies should be tastefully ignored pls) this may not be what you asked for tbh but here you go!!

(content warnings: hunger games typical discussion of child murder, but nothing graphic)

(1.7k)

Anakin’s first emotion after his name is called is a strange sense of relief.

Good, he thinks. I’ll get to go with Obi-Wan. He won’t be alone.

He dutifully steps forward out of the crowd towards the stage, where the announcer is waiting next to Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan who is looking at him with an expression of naked devastation.

Anakin tries to convey that it’ll be alright, that it’s fine, that they knew this was a possibility. Sure, it’s Anakin’s last year eligible to be in the Games. Sure his nineteenth birthday is in two weeks, at which point he would become too old to qualify as a child to the Capitol, but what’s done is done.

Obi-Wan will be his mentor, because Obi-Wan has been the mentor for District Four ever since he won his own Games seven years ago when he was sixteen and Anakin was twelve.

That year’s known unofficially as the most boring Games in Panem history, but the Capitol loves how handsome Obi-Wan’s grown to be. So what if he didn’t kill his competitors messily or with a bloodthirsty joy? He’s so polite in his interviews all these years later, and look at those dimples!

It makes Anakin sick, every time Obi-Wan has to leave District Four and travel to the Capitol to be fawned over and stroked and used. His nightmares are always worse the weeks after he gets back, and he never lets Anakin hold him during them.

And it’s even worse during the actual Games, when Obi-Wan is put in charge of two children’s lives only to see them brutally murdered on screen a week later. The cameras always show his reaction when the competitors from District Four die. They must think he cries pretty or something.

Anakin hates the Capitol. He hates them for what they’ve done to Obi-Wan. What they’ve made him into

As he gets close enough to the stage, he notices that Obi-Wan’s hands are shaking slightly.

He doesn’t even listen to the name of the girl being called. She’s not important. She’ll be dead in a few days time. What’s important is Obi-Wan. What’s important is comforting him, is reassuring him. Is coming back to him.

This is the moment when Anakin resolves that these Games will become known as the quickest in history.

---

The girl is understandably sullen and upset on the train. “I should get a different mentor!” she demands. “It’s obvious you’re going to play favorites with him.”

Anakin doesn’t snap back because she’ll be dead in a few days. Though she really shouldn’t use that tone with Obi-Wan.

“I’m not playing favorites,” Obi-Wan insists. “I don’t have favorites.”

“You literally just wiped sauce off his mouth with your finger,” the girl points out. “And then he licked it!”

Anakin smirks at her. Of course Obi-Wan has favorites. Of course Anakin is Obi-Wan’s favorite. It took him years to wear down Obi-Wan until he allowed him this close, and years after that until he finally got to kiss him for the first time, just a few months ago.

If she thinks he’s going to give up any of his Obi-Wan time so she can get her hopes up about not dying in a few days, she’s got another thing coming.

But Obi-Wan shifts away from him and he looks guilty.

If Anakin could get away with killing the other person from his district, he would. But it’d probably make Obi-Wan sad.

“Is whining part of your strategy?” he asks waspishly instead. “I don’t think it’ll make you many allies.”

She has the nerve to look offended.

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan chides. Underneath the table, he squeezes his knee.

“Everyone in the district knows about you two,” she glares at him. “You haven’t exactly kept it a secret.”

Anakin hasn’t exactly tried to keep it a secret. The first night Obi-Wan had kissed him, he went straight home and told his mother, his neighbor, his schoolmates, his cat, and his ex-girlfriend.

(No one had been surprised, except maybe the cat.)

“It’s not fair,” she cries. “Who can I talk to to get a different mentor for me?”

“The ethics board,” Anakin smiles, all teeth, settling back into his seat and slinging an arm around Obi-Wan’s shoulders.

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan says again, this time more exasperatedly. “Robin, I promise I will be the best mentor you can ask for. It is my wish to see you survive as long as possible in the next few weeks.”

The girl jumps to her feet in outrage. “You can’t even say you want me to win!” she yells. There are tears at the corners of her eyes. If she were a little less annoying, Anakin would feel quite bad for her. Obviously Obi-Wan doesn’t want her to win. Anakin’s right here.

She storms out of the train compartment, her face in her hands. Anakin barely waits for the door to close before he’s slipping into Obi-Wan’s lap and throwing his arms around his neck with a groan. “God, I thought she’d never leave.”

He isn’t pushed away. Obi-Wan must realize they only have a handful of days left to be together before he goes into the arena.

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan says wearily, even as his arms encircle his waist.

Anakin presses a kiss to his nose and then another to his cheek. “It’s alright to have favorites, Obi-Wan,” he murmurs. “And she should know there’s no way she’s winning anything. Don’t waste your time.”

“I will do everything I can to make sure she survives as long as possible,” Obi-Wan repeats. “I don’t think I can survive anything else.”

Obi-Wan’s voice sounds shaky, so Anakin presses their lips together. Best not to talk for awhile.

------

“We should discuss strategy,” Obi-Wan says later that night through frantic kisses. “Sponsors, story, training--”

“I have a strategy,” Anakin murmurs back as he moves further down the bed, rucking up his partner’s shirt. “Win.”

----

“You look absolutely radiant,” Anakin tells the girl in an undertone while they’re in line for their interviews. She turns around to glare at him. The designer for their district has gone for the typical fish designs that people always associate with District Four, and they’ve dressed her up in a shimmering iridescent gown that flares at the ends like a fish’s tail.

Anakin’s own outfit is mostly a fishing net draped over one shoulder and a pair of tight pants. The designer, much to Obi-Wan’s embarrassment and Anakin’s satisfaction, had taken one look at his shirtless chest and decided to dress him in as little clothes as possible.

“Weird braid,” is all she says.

Obi-Wan had done it late last night when both of them had tired each other out and Anakin had curled up on his chest. After his Games, Obi-Wan’s hands like to do something. The repetitive motion of braiding and unbraiding Anakin’s hair soothes his demons.

It’s one of the reasons Anakin’s grown it out to his shoulders, much longer than is practical for his district.

Obi-Wan had gone to unbraid it, and Anakin had stopped him. He wanted to keep it. To wear it into the Games.

“Thank you,” he says generously. “I saw your score. 7’s not too bad.”

She sneers at him. “Did you celebrate your 11 with your boyfriend?”

“Oh sorry,” he winces. “Did you hear us? I’m just so bad at biting my tongue when he does this thing with his.”

She scoffs in disgust and turns back around. “I hope he has to watch you die.”

Anakin glares at her back. He knows he can’t kill her himself. But there has to be a way to hurt her and her chances and still have plausible deniability.

When it’s her turn for an interview, she’s vapid and pretty. She laughs and touches the interviewer’s arm.

“I’ve never spent much time in District Four,” the interviewer says jovially. “But tell me, really. Is everyone there as beautiful as the people you keep sending us? I mean. Obi-Wan Kenobi, ladies and gentlemen, am I right?” The audience laughs and hollers. Anakin hates them all. “And now you, Robin, and Anakin Skywalker. Damn!”

Robin--Anakin needs to stop forgetting her name--giggles high in her throat. “It was a very, very enjoyable train ride up,” she says with a stupid wiggle of her eyebrows. “Just this side of too long.”

The audience loses it.

Anakin loses it.

He can’t believe she’s sitting there publicly suggesting that Anakin shares Obi-Wan with anyone. With her. The nerve.

The camera pans to Obi-Wan in the crowd, who looks shocked, embarrassed, and deeply troubled.

Anakin won’t let this stand. He just hopes Obi-Wan forgives him.

The interviewer greets him excitedly when he walks out, and Anakin gives him a sheepish sort of smile.

“Lady killer Skywalker!” the interviewer says. Anakin laughs along with him. “All the girls back home must have been heartbroken to see you leave.”

“But I’ve heard they love watching me go,” he jokes with a charming smile. If that girl--Robin--can do it, he can do it much better. “There’s really only one person for me though,” he murmurs, letting his smile die.

“Oh?” The interviewer asks, leaning forward with interest.

“But sometimes I wonder if they’re only using me for my body,” he says, casting his eyes down. “I love them. Heart and soul, everything I am. But when I told them, they just laughed.”

This is technically true. The first time Anakin had told Obi-Wan that he was in love with him, the older boy had laughed his confession off, saying he was too young to know what he wanted.

“Oh, to be young and in love,” the interviewer sighs theatrically. “So your plan is to win the Games and then win her heart when you get back home?”

Anakin makes himself look sad. Tragically sad. Like he can’t bear to go on.

“They came with me,” he says.

If the audience’s reaction to Robin’s fake confession was huge, its reaction to Anakin’s words is even bigger. Of course they think he’s talking about the girl. That’s exactly what Anakin had wanted. Now he’s the broken-hearted boy and she’s the vapid, self-absorbed bitch. She'll have a hard time finding sponsors now.

It’s very, very hard to hide his smile, a task made exponentially more hard when he sees Obi-Wan bury his face in his hands.

“It’s alright,” Anakin tells the interviewer, without taking his eyes off of Obi-Wan. “I’ll survive.”

[3wisellamas]

Giant Sweet Cap’n Cakes Headcanon Masterpost!

(Fun fact, I thought most of these up while on one REALLY long hike.  ^^;  You can tell I fell for these three pretty hard.)

Music:

-I like the idea that, while the three all share a love of hip hop, glitch hop, electronic music in general, and a little lo-fi for chill times, they all have different tastes outside of those.  (Meaning if you pass them the aux cord, they WILL argue!)

-Sweet's actually the biggest audiophile of the group, with by far the most eclectic tastes; he will literally put together playlists that go from dubstep to heavy metal to classical to rap to vaporwave to even country.  The others don't really get it, but they're cool with whatever he puts on, and learn a lot of new music from him!

-He also owns an electric guitar, which he just plugs into himself to use as an amp and plays early in the morning to wake the others up if needed (he's the early riser and the other two are night owls...)

-Cap'n's definitely got a more narrow focus than the other two; he likes rap and also R&B, jazz, and even a little swing/electro swing.  He's also been caught more than once listening to cheesy romantic pop songs, claiming he's just into them for their potential madamoizel-attracting uses but really he's just a sappy romantic.

-He can also rap, very well in fact, and gets Sweet to beatbox while he freestyles. 

-Heck, he's just got a good singing voice in general, helped by having a built-in autotune, and dominates at karaoke!

-K_K also has a really broad range, but stays more towards the electronic end of the spectrum -- melodic dubstep, synthpop, disco, trance, chiptune, DnB, even occasionally puts on straight-up ambient spa music to chill out to (the only genre the other two will NOT tolerate.)

-K_K has also, in the past, set up entire mini-raves just by themselves, complete with glowsticks and everything, while Cap'n and Sweet were out doing whatever.  They were...not pleased, when they got back, mostly because they weren't invited.  All three got to have one together eventually though.  

-Physical media is king in their shop; if it's not on a CD, cassette tape, or a vinyl record (or an 8-track, though they have to dig out their old player for it), they will refuse to play it, and might even ask you to leave.  "MP3" is an extremely dirty word to them.

-(In fact, they don't get along too well with the MP3 player-headed robots elsewhere in the city.)

-They are indeed always listening to music on physical media as well -- K_K and Cap'n are their own CD players (though Cap'n's one of those models that's also got a built-in FM radio), while Sweet has a straight-up Walkman.    

-(He's also the group's cassette champion, claiming his media of choice is superior to CDs because you can record music on BOTH sides of the tape!  The other two just don't have the heart to point out that each side only holds half as much music as a CD, and you don't even have to rewind those...)

-Jury's still out on Hit Clips.  Cap'n and Sweet think they're just toys, but K_K genuinely collects and appreciates them and treats them like actual music (it helps that they are only around four seconds long!)

-Believe it or not, the headphones are only decoration, all three actually just...listen to their music entirely within their own heads, though they can also switch to playing it externally on their speakers as well.  Perks of being robots!  Though, sometimes K_K has his internal volume up too high, and misses things that other people say because of it.

-Sweet also has an input port, and connects himself to his turntable to act as the speakers!  The other two are WAY too embarrassed to ask if they can use it as well.

-Sweet can play almost any instrument you throw at him, as long as it's not a woodwind (Surprisingly, he can do brass, since those work on vibration rather than air!).  He prefers his guitar or violin when he isn't spinning records on his turntable.  Where the other two just enjoy music, he's the actual trained musician.

Voice headcanons:

-Sweet:  Kind of deep, bass-y, lots of reverb, a slight tinny audio distortion to it like a low-quality recording that becomes much more pronounced when he gets upset or starts shouting.  And since he's a speaker, you can literally feel the vibrations he makes when he's speaking!

-Cap'n:  Scout from TF2.  I am sorry, but I absolutely cannot get that out of my head for him.  XD  However, he's actually putting that voice on as an "accent" of sorts, his real voice is actually super autotune-y like K_K's, and it comes out whenever he gets flustered, his pitch only getting higher and higher as it gets worse...

-K_K:  Pure autotune, he can just do whatever the hell he wants with his voice -- pitch, tone, whatever, and while he tends to keep it a little higher he can and does change it to fit his mood!  He often has a completely different voice every day, but the others are used to it.  He also just straight-up vocalizes sound effects (like, the kind that make you go "How did you just make that sound with your mouth?!") and can mimic other people perfectly (though the slight mechanical distortion does give it away).  There are absolutely no rules when it comes to K_K's voice.

-They harmonize perfectly whenever they sing together! 

Sweet:

-I like to think Sweet's actually the brains of the group; like, not SMART, he just holds their one collective braincell most often.  He does any technical work when they're building stuff, like soldering circuits or the occasional programming, and even handles a lot of the actual business operations and pays the bills.  The other two also like to follow his lead when it comes to rebellion plans, even if he’s not the official leader.

-That said, though?  It's balanced out by him being rather hotheaded and having the shortest temper by a lot.  There are REASONS why he's not usually out selling bagels with the others -- he's unfortunately prone to some more "extreme" sales tactics, like hurling half their stock at random passersby until they finally agree to buy some.  On the plus side, he's always the first to step up to defend the gang from anything that dares to harm them, and is always on guard.

-He can also hold a heck of a grudge -- don't ever get on his bad side!  Cap'n and K_K are mostly immune to this though, if he gets upset with them he works through it by the end of the day.  It helps that they can all hug it out.

-He's a bit of a perfectionist, often working overtime to try and get everything they build exactly right.  He can get really frustrated when things don't work out the way he plans, or when he can't make sense of a problem, or when Cap'n and K_K are goofing off instead of doing their part, and needs to go blast some loud music and blow off steam.

-He does have a really tough time keeping his balance, since his head is a bit heavier than the rest of his body, but he takes tripping over his own feet constantly in stride.  The biggest problem he has is with dancing -- while he'll join in with the others on occasion, he can't match their more acrobatic moves and sticks more to actually PLAYING the music they're dancing to.

-He's also really, really unlucky, just in general.  He actually considers the other two his good luck charms, since they help him out whenever he trips or gets into a bad spot!

-He's the fashionista of the group, surprisingly.  It's difficult for him to find clothes that fit his body, so he tends to get a little creative with it and has a whole closet full of different stuff!  And since Cap'n is roughly the same size they'll occasionally swap jackets.

Cap’n:

-Cap'n actually has managed to score a handful of dates with girls in the past!  However, NONE of them went well, and only one actually made it to the second date (only to break up right in the middle of it), so he always ends up returning home heartbroken and in tears.  Sweet and K_K, by this point just ready for it whenever they hear that he's going out that night, always dry him off before he shorts himself out, take him to bed and cuddle with him (platonically, I don't see them as brothers but I also don't see them as having that conversation until Cap'n's ready, which he clearly is NOT), remind him that it doesn't hurt forever and he isn't unlovable and that he'll find someone eventually, etc.

-They have sat him down multiple times to try and gently suggest to Cap'n that he might just not be into women?  And that he’s actually turning them off by trying so hard?  To which he's always just like "No, of course not.  I'm straight.  Love the ladies.  Totally.  Oh no they didn't catch me checkin' out that one dude earlier did they?  Is that what this is about?!"

-(Basically, Cap'n is just a hopeless romantic in love with the idea of being in love, but is absolutely clueless as to how it works or what he actually wants, and his best buds are always there to catch him when he falls.  ;v; )

-The glasses are prescription -- he's SUPER nearsighted, a hardware glitch he refuses to fix.  Sometimes when he's working on something close up he'll take them off, panicking when he can't find them afterwards, only to have the others point out that they're just on his head.  He’s also got non-tinted glasses, but you will not catch him DEAD wearing those unless it’s an absolute emergency.

-This dude is SUPREMELY insecure with himself.  Like, his rather questionable fixation on romance aside, he basically runs off of others' validation, the "cool" persona he's spent much of his life building up being how he hides the fact that he isn't really sure who he is, or what he wants to do with his life, or what he's even good for -- the others have learned to check on him now and then whenever he hides away in the back of the shop, since he can slip into some pretty dark places when left alone to sulk.  It took a long time for him to open up even to them to share his feelings, and sometimes still has doubts about whether they or anyone else really care about him as more than just The Smooth One...

-He's the only one of the three to actually enjoy the occasional silence, especially when he's trying to think, or whenever he's upset.  So, his headphones also serve a dual purpose -- they're noise-cancelling!

-He's the video guy, carrying around a small camcorder and constantly trying to record the group's activities, to put together into music videos!  He also just likes to record himself doing stupid stunts for posterity, though K_K just takes these and makes (affectionate) blooper reels.

-Cap'n is not his real name, similar to K_K.  However, unlike K_K, he refuses to say what it is, just that it's embarrassing.

K_K:

-K_K has a bad habit of just completely zoning out when he gets into his music, getting completely lost in the groove and needing to be pulled back to reality.  It's not a bad thing during jam sessions, but at work, or in the middle of a battle...not so much.

-He kind of needs to have some kind of music going at all times -- silence drives him absolutely CRAZY!  Though, because he gets distracted by his own music, he then misses out on entire conversations, only tuning back in towards the end.  Sometimes the other two have to repeat or summarize what they just said for him.

-He knows sign language, and taught the others to use it.  They're able to communicate reasonably well no matter how loud their shop gets, or on days when K_K isn't able to form words properly (he's just shy, and even when he isn't he gets tongue-tied a LOT).

-He's easily the best dancer of the three, and uses his extendable body to get really creative with his moves!  He even knows a little ballroom, somehow, which he'll pull out sometimes to make the others laugh.

-(Seriously, K_K CANNOT stand to see Sweet or Cap'n not smiling.  He'll do anything to keep the group's spirits up, usually cracking jokes during a scrap project or doing little favors, and they appreciate all his efforts!)

-K_K has the WORST sleep cycle, ever.  If you let him, he will stay up all night working or partying, finally going to bed at 6AM, and will then sleep until 6PM if the others don't wake him up at some point.  If they know he was up really late they'll let him sleep in a little, but he's often pretty sleep-deprived and running solely on sugar and caffeine, which doesn't help his natural loopiness.  

-He is a VERY physical guy.  Seriously, he will just scoop up and hold Sweet or Cap'n like a cat every five minutes; at first they were just like "Oh.  Okay.  We're hugging now I guess," but after a while they got more used to it and even anticipate when K_K is going to do it.  And he also initiates tons of snuggles and gives piggyback rides whenever one of his bandmates (usually Sweet) requests.  

-K_K actually scrapbooks, collecting pictures and little mementos of places he and the others have gone and things they've done.  After the library fountain is sealed, he pulls them out to show everyone else from Cyber City and reminisce about home.

-It's very hard to make K_K angry, since he tends to stay super chill and brushes off almost everything.  But, on those very, very rare occasions when something does get under his metal outer casing, he'll go full-on silent treatment, not speaking to anyone for up to a week as he sulks and stomps around the junk shop, and even refuses to play any music!  And no amount of sweets or hugs or cheering up will bring him out of it, either; the other two have learned to just wait him out and let him have his space, letting him come to them when he's finally ready to talk about it.

Misc:

-Though all three love everything sweet, K_K's the only one who really goes overboard with it, making whole meals out of candy.  Sweet, ironically enough, actually prefers more salty/savory snacks, while the less is said about Cap'n's hot sauce addiction, the better.

-Okay, actually, I will say more about it.  Cap'n loves spicy food in general, and literally drinks tabasco sauce right from the bottle.  However, he's got a bad habit of daring himself to eat hotter and hotter stuff, ESPECIALLY if someone is watching, and can easily get in WAY over his head before begging for milk.

-They also all totally drink battery acid like Queen.

-Heck, being both Darkners and robots, they can really eat literally anything.  Normal food, milk, oil, batteries, gallons of pure sugar, toothpaste, moss, glitter (NEVER let K_K get hold of any though, he gets lost in the sauce), broken glass, etc, and of course their own deep-fried CDs.  Only thing they can't do is water, since, you know, robots.

-With a lot of the aesthetics of Cyber City being close to turn-of-the millennium and early 2000s (CDs and boomboxes, popup ads, wired mice, Queen theorized to be one of those see-through iMacs, EVERYTHING about Spamton), I like the idea that the boys DO NOT have smartphones, and if you handed them one they'd have no clue how to use it or what to do with it.  But they do have cell phones:  Sweet's got an old flip phone covered in stickers (courtesy of K_K), Cap'n splurged for one of those that slide open and with a camera (he set his background to a tiny, grainy photo of the three of them!), and K_K has one of those indestructible Nokia bricks, that Sweet got him after he kept breaking all his other ones.  They can all text, but that's about as high-tech as they get.

-Same with tablets or newer computers in general, they might share one tiny netbook at most.  Cap’n never remembers to log out of his Dark World dating profile, so the others will snoop or post embarrassing things to it.

-They're really, really durable, even without milk -- they're made of 90s plastic and electronics, so it takes a LOT to take one of them down!  Plus, they regularly repair each other back at the shop (it took a LONG time for them to gain enough trust to physically open and work on each other), so as long as at least one's left to drag the other two to safety they'll be just fine.

-However, if they get splashed with water, caught in the rain, or worse, drowned, they will short out, or shut down on the spot to prevent damage.  Once they completely dry out, though, they'll start right back up, no worse for wear.  When only one of them gets waterlogged the other two will break out the hair dryers to dry them out faster, or even pop them into the oven in a pan of rice like an iPod that got dropped in the toilet...

Finally, backstory?

-Cap'n and K_K met first -- maybe both as new recruits to another, much less savory gang of music equipment robots, and bonded as a result of being put upon by the more established members (Cap'n probably even had to defend K_K more than once when his inattentiveness got him into trouble!)  But, they both had enough one day, and decided to break off and form their own thing, making music and selling CD bagels to support themselves.

-Sweet, meanwhile, has the complete opposite background, coming from a rich and important family of musicians in Cyber City who regularly entertained Queen in her mansion (hence why he always used to get sweets from her!)  But, he was kind of the black sheep, preferring his own style of music, and decided to strike out on his own as a street musician instead.

-They met when Cap'n and K_K accidentally set up to sell bagels on Sweet's usual corner, and he battled them to reclaim his turf.  But, they were evenly-matched (even two-to-one; Sweet's definitely the strongest of the trio!), and impressed each other with both their fighting and musical skills, so Sweet decided to join their tiny group, and thus Sweet Cap'n Cakes was formed.  

-After the whole situation with Queen is resolved, SCC turns their rebellion into an anti-DRM kind of thing?  Nobody can hold back the music, man!

[simjakeyun]

Hey! Can you write a Enhypen reaction when they're jealous?

✧*:･ﾟ𝗲𝗻— 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗰𝗮𝗻𝗼𝗻 ; 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆’𝗿𝗲 𝗷𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗼𝘂𝘀

✐ genre: every so slightly angsty, mainly fluff

✐ warnings: none

✐ taglist: no one yet :)

✐ a/n: i accidentally turned this into a headcanon. i hope that’s okay anon 🥺

♡ || 𝗹𝗲𝗲 𝗵𝗲𝗲𝘀𝗲𝘂𝗻𝗴.

you and heeseung are at the grocery store at your hometown

and you just so happened to run into an old classmate of yours that you used to have a thing for

now, heeseung knows about this person

he’s already asked you about previous partners and romantic interests

so when you and this other person start chatting up a storm

he does start to feel a little jealous

especially when you stand there for 30 minutes talking to this person

you never talk this much to him ◔_◔

when you finally part ways with your old classmate, you can’t tell there’s something wrong at first

heeseung is just following you quietly, not wanting to say or do something that he’ll regret later

and then you finally realize that he’s upset

he will adamantly deny that there’s anything wrong at first

he won’t want to admit that there’s something wrong

because he knows there’s nothing truly wrong

yet he still feels this burning jealousy in the pit of his stomach

finally, after you pester him for 20 minutes straight, he’ll admit that he’s slightly jealous

he’s just so serious and stone-faced

so you give him a hug and lay your head on his shoulder

and give him big puppy dog eyes 🥺

he’s totally a sucker for puppy dog eyes

and when that still doesn’t work, you give him little kisses all over his face

and with that, he literally won’t be able to keep a straight face

he’ll smile and look away for a few seconds

then he’ll realize that the entire thing is so silly and apologize

and you’re now mandated to cuddle with him for the rest of the night to make you both feel better :)

♡ || 𝗷𝗮𝘆 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗸.

so you and jay are on a fancy restaurant date

both of you are all dressed up, looking cute as all hell

and your waiter just so happened to be one of your brother’s friends

you had seen him around the house a few times since he came over to see your brother

and you had liked a few of your brother’s social media posts with him in them

so you two knew each other fairly well

every time he’d stop by the table, you two would have a little chat

jay took quick notice of this

but you hadn’t told jay that you knew him through your brother

so jay was just kinda like ??? hello we’re on a date and you’re flirting with the waiter right in front of me ???

and he did not hesitate to show his jealousy

whenever the waiter would come back to the table, he’d sigh loudly when you started to talk to him

and he’d try to speak up and interrupt your conversation

he’d tap on the table on on his cup

he’d try to grab your hand on the table and wave to catch your attention

and when all else fails, he’ll whine loudly

he’s so embarrassing to take out in public

after your brother’s friend walked away from the table, you finally realized that he was acting that way because he was jealous

jay would glare at you straight up ask why you were flirting with the waiter

and you’d laugh and tell him that the waiter is your brother’s best friend, so you knew each other

jay’s face would soften lightly and he’d start pouting

“jay did you really think i'd flirt with a waiter right in front of you when we’re on a date???”

“you’re right. you’re at least smart enough to do it behind my back.”

the moment would end in laughter

and you noticed that he got a little more affectionate with you that night, holding your hand all night and giving you little hugs and more pecks on the cheek and forehead

♡ || 𝗷𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝘀𝗶𝗺.

now, jake is not one to get jealous easily

he knows you have guy friends and male co-workers that you have to work closely with

but when you spend more time at the dorm with the other members than him?

that’s what gets to him

you’ll come over to the dorm and instantly just go play games with jungwon and jay

and then afterwards, you’ll let sunoo apply his skincare regiment to you

then after that, you’ll help heeseung cook in the kitchen

and at that point, you’ve been at the dorm already for like three hours and none of that time was spent with jake

and jake is the sole reason you’re even there !!!

he’s your boyfriend after all !!!

at first, jake would stop by every 15 or 20 minutes to ask when you’ll be done and can hang out with him

when you said a few more minutes, he’d smile and respect it

but after three hours of it, he just stopped asking

he’d lay down in his bed

and he’d just watch netflix by himself, not wanting to bother you anymore

he’d get sooo extremely sulky

he just feels so disappointed in himself for not being as interesting as the other members or for not planning out a more interesting day for you two

and he was jealous that the other members got to spend time with you while he couldn’t

it was you that had to go find him

and when you did, he would absolutely refuse to look you in the eye

and he’d get just a tad bit passive aggressive

“wouldn’t you rather spend your time with the kids?”

and you could tell just by the tone of his voice that he’s completely heartbroken

you would have to get into his bed and lay on top of him to get him to look at you

he’d only accept an apology if you gave him puppy dog eyes and a big hug

he can’t resist that

he’d open his blanket up for you and cuddle you up

you’d spend the next few hours watching netflix on his phone

and he would not let you go until you had to leave

♡ || 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗸 𝘀𝘂𝗻𝗴𝗵𝗼𝗼𝗻.

sunghoon doesn’t tend to get jealous easily

but, just like jake, it bothers him when you spend more time with the members than with him

it’s not that he’s worried the other members will take you from him

because c’mon, if you’re with park sunghoon, you’ve already won at life

it’s just that he feels that you’re giving away affection that should be for him

don’t get him wrong, he’s happy that you’re getting along with his 2nd family quite well

but he thinks that he should be your favorite within the group

so like when niki helps you clean up after eating and you pat his head as a thank you

or when sunoo asks you to put makeup on him and you oblige

just those little touches

he feels like they’re meant for people who are together in a romantic relationship

but the main reason you’re always so affectionate with the other members was because you wanted to treat the members like sunghoon’s family and become closer with them

you know how important the members are to him so you wanted to get to know them better

also sunghoon is totally one to bite his tongue at first

but he’ll let it build up so much that he eventually won’t be able to control it

and it will eventually come out

sunghoon will be passive aggressive

claims he’s not jealous and there’s nothing wrong

but he’s sitting there like ಠ╭╮ಠ

so he’s obviously mad

you’ll have to sit down with him and be like

“look, sunghoon, i know you’re not gonna admit it, but i know you’re jealous.”

“i’m not jeal-”

“yes you are! i'm sorry i was hanging out with the other members more than you”

and it’s only then that he’ll take a step back and listen to you

“well i just don’t like it when you’re really affectionate with the kids.”

only took like 4 hours for him to finally admit it

you two talk it through and sunghoon finally comes to an understanding of why you act so affectionate towards the members

and you agree to spend not as much time around them as before

you and sunghoon cool off the night by playing games together while giving each other pecks on the cheeks as a reward for winning

♡ || 𝗸𝗶𝗺 𝘀𝘂𝗻𝗼𝗼.

sunoo doesn’t like it when you spend most of your free time with other people

literally just people in general

he finds insecurity in the thought that you wouldn't want to spend time with him

like obviously if you don’t want to spend time with him but you do with other people, you like those other people more than him

if you’re with sunoo and you’re talking to some other people but you’re not engaging in conversation with sunoo that much

then he’ll pout and try to get your attention

if that doesn’t work, he’ll loop his arms around yours

if that doesn’t work, he’ll hold your hand

and when all else fails, he’ll lay his head on your shoulder

gets really pouty and whiny when jealous

he just wants you to pay attention to him 😭

probably whines so much to the point of annoying you

and now you’re mad at him (◞‸◟；)

ah he didn’t mean for it to end up like this but it just kinda happened

as soon as the two of you are alone, he’s really apologetic

he’ll immediately tell you about his jealousy

and will apologize instantly

sunoo always admits his faults :(

he doesn’t want to make the situation worse by now owning up to his faults and denying that there’s nothing wrong

he’ll say that he only wanted your attention and your time

but he let his jealousy get the better of him

honestly, you’d have to be a monster to not forgive him

it’s this entire fight that causes the two of you to set aside a day a week to make an effort to at least talk to each other or play games or hang out

sunoo just wants your love and affection 🥺

♡ || 𝘆𝗮𝗻𝗴 𝗷𝘂𝗻𝗴𝘄𝗼𝗻.

I'm just gonna come right out and say it because i believe this with my entire soul

jungwon gets jealous so easily

he can be very confident with the other members and on stage

but within relationships, because of his inexperience, he lacks that confidence

he gets really insecure around your male friends

he’ll see you talk to them in that same excited manner with that glint in your eye that you do to him

and his brain goes to places it shouldn’t

he knows realistically that it’s probably nothing

like this is totally just your personality

but there’s always that little bundle of doubt

in the moment, he won’t say a word

he’ll just observe the situation

keeping a close eye on you especially

but when you walk away

he’ll instantly go into baby mode

“you still love me right?”

“can you give me a hug?”

“i’m the only person you like like this right?”

“If i was a random stranger on the street, you would still have a crush on me right?”

“can you hold my hand?”

you will have to endlessly reassure him

will walk like -10cm away from you

and will keep you close for the rest of the day

so it’s obvious that jungwon isn’t feeling confident at all

and so you’ll have to have a little talk to him about it

it’s mostly just you reassuring him that he’s the only one you love

he definitely finds security in these little talks

because it helps him recognize that you value him enough to openly communicate with him

and that does spike his confidence!

in following situations when you’re with your male friends, he’ll try to be more in the conversation and not think too much about it

will give you little moments of affection

like rubbing your back

or putting a hand on your knee for a second before taking it back off

that helps boost his confidence as well

but he does actively try to better himself about not getting as jealous as before

♡ || 𝗻𝗶𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗺𝘂𝗿𝗮 𝗿𝗶𝗸𝗶.

niki’s young so he probably gets jealous left and right

whether that’s when you’re with the other members

or with your friends

or just as school around classmates

his hormones are out of wack and he’s still going through puberty

please don’t blame him :(

niki just doesn’t want to lose you

like jungwon, he’s also not very confident because of his lack of experience in relationships

if you’re talking to the other members or your friends, he gets pouty

watches you very closely

he doesn’t want to insert himself in any way or show that he’s feeling jealous

he’ll get huffy for a little while too

if you question him as to why he’s upset, he’ll outright deny being upset

claim that he’s fine even though he clearly isn’t

will also reject any form of affection

do not touch him or try to talk to him about it

he’ll need a few minutes to sit and think about it

and then after like half an hour of cooling down, he’ll have a better grasp of his feelings

he might not be able to perfectly articulate his feelings into words but you can always hear the emotion in whatever he says

he’s better at displaying his emotions rather than speaking it

he’s a dancer after all

niki would feel so much better through words of reassurance

he just wants to know that he’s doing well

little everyday comments always help make him feel more secure

“niki! you look different today! i think you’ve gotten more handsome?”

lots of i love yous 🥺

“please eat well today!”

“I care about you!!!”

those little comments always make his heart flutter (ノ・ω・)ノ

[otakusheep15]

SFW Alphabet - Belphegor

My last post about Levi seemed to do really well, so I thought I would continue with this series. Belphie is my other fave, so I hope I do him justice. Also, sorry if anything seems weird, I wrote this all super late (for me anyway) so there might be some mistakes. 

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

At first, he isn’t super affectionate. Verbal affection is just hard for him in general, and he’s scared that he may hurt you with physical affection. However, he eventually comes around and becomes super affectionate with you. Sleeping together is a must for him, and he’ll often pass out on your shoulder or lap when you two hag out. Verbal affection is still often a challenge, but he does try is best to tell you just how much you mean to him. He also loves both giving and receiving head pats. 

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

 You two often hang out in the attic together. Whatever you decide to do depends on the day, but most activities will end up with him (and sometimes you) falling asleep. Beel also joins you during hang-outs. You guys will also platonically cuddle all the time. Most conversations between you are very sarcastic and filled with banter, but it’s only (partially) joking. He also likes to ruffle your hair since he likes the reaction it gets out of you. 

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

  This boy is the king of cuddles. He can honestly fall asleep anywhere at anytime, but he finds that he sleeps the easiest in your arms. While he likes any cuddling position, his favorite is when you lay on your back and he rests his head on your chest. He also likes when you run your fingers through his hair. In his demon form, he’ll wrap his tail around your leg as a small sign of possession. He’ll also bump you with his horns so that you’ll pet those as well since they’re sensitive and helps him fall asleep faster. 

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

He doesn’t really have a preference one way or another. If you feel the need to settle down, he’ll join you without question. However, if you wish not too, he wouldn’t really care. While he is not a fan of cleaning, he is a surprisingly good cook. Since Beel is his twin, and they have that special connection, he often knows when Beel is particularly hungry and can’t control it. Because of this, he learned how to cook in order to make sure his twin had enough snacks for the day. Even though it started as simply something for his twin, he’s found that cooking is quite fun, and enjoys cooking with you. 

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

He’s the kind of person that would just straight up tell someone that he’s breaking up with them. To him, if he feels the need to break up with someone, then that person’s feelings no longer matter (at least, to him they don’t). He could care less if the other leaves the situation absolutely heartbroken; he just doesn’t have the time or energy to care. Maybe if it was someone he actually really liked and wanted to keep as a friend, he wouldn’t be as harsh, but he’d still be blunt regardless. 

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

As stated above, he doesn’t really care either way. He’s down to go along with whatever you want as long as you don’t make him work too much. If you want to get married, he’ll go along with it as long as Beel gets to be his best man. And if you decide you don’t want to get married, he’s fine just living with you and being with you without the ring. 

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

At first, he’s very gentle. After the incident, he is so afraid of hurting you again. There’s even a point where he goes into a near-panic when he accidentally touches you, and it gets so bad that the brothers have to stage an intervention. Once he’s calmed down and you’ve assured him that you trust him, he’s less cautious, but still gentle. He knows that demons are much stronger than humans, so he still tries to be careful even if he knows you’re not made of glass. 

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Hugs are one of his favorite forms of affection. He’ll hug you all the time, especially in front of the brothers in hopes of making them jealous. A lot of his hugs consists of him coming up behind you, wrapping his arms around your middle, and placing his head on top of yours. He’s even managed to fall asleep like this a few times. Out of all the brothers, his hugs are the best due to their warmth and softness. 

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

It takes him a while to actually say the phrase, but it’s obvious that he loves you. He’s not one to really express his feelings through words, so he’s never actually thought that saying it was necessary. However, when you say it during one of your late-night cuddle sessions, he finally decides to say it as well.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

He’s not as bad as Levi or Mammon, but he’s still pretty jealous. Although, he won’t actually say or do anything about it. If he’s jealous of one of his brothers, he’ll leave it to you to actually figure it out for yourself and then come apologize to him. But, if it is some random demon that’s trying to hit on you, he will try to drag you away with some excuse of him being tired and wanting a nap. 

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

His kisses are super lazy and tired, but that’s to be expected. His favorite spot to kiss you is on your neck. He likes how flustered you get, and he likes teasing you about how sensitive your neck is. His favorite place to be kissed is on the forehead. He finds it super comforting, and he especially likes it when he’s about to fall asleep. 

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Of all the brothers, he is, surprisingly, one of the best with children. It’s not that he likes them, or that he’s even good at controlling them; he just knows how to put them to sleep really quick. He can have them out in a matter of minutes, no matter how energetic the child. And, fun secret, he actually doesn’t mind children all that much. He just hates when they get loud or go all crazy. 

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Mornings are usually spent cuddling in bed until you two have five minutes to get down to breakfast before Lucifer beats y’all half to death. Most of the time, you wake up before him, but it’s impossible to get up since he’s always wrapped around you and refuses to let go. Once, Beel had to come in and actually drag you two out of bed because he refused to get up on time. 

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Nights are usually spent with him trying to stay awake while y’all watch a movie or something, but you both know that won’t happen. Instead, he usually falls asleep on top of you, leaving you with two options. One, you can try to drag him to bed, which almost never works. Or two, you can just fall asleep there and hope you aren’t sore in the morning from the weird position. Eventually, and no matter which option you go with, you both end up asleep in each other’s arms and sleeping peacefully. 

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

He is a very secretive demon by nature, so opening up is really hard for him. He really wants to, and he knows you also want him to, but he just can’t. And when he does finally start opening up, he takes it very slow. This is so that he doesn’t overwhelm you, or himself for that matter. He’s scared that showing too much of himself at once will make you leave him, and that’s the last thing he wants, so he tries to hide it for as long as possible. 

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

He isn’t ever angry so much as very passive aggressive. He’ll make snide comments, give mean stares, and make rude gestures whenever pissed off. This usually happens when he gets jealous of a lower-level demon, but it never usually escalates past that. However, there are those few times in which he does get legit mad, and that’s when the yelling starts. If he knows he’s losing against whoever he’s fighting, he’ll storm off to either his room or the attic until either you or Beel comes to get him. 

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He tries to remember things, he really does, but he just seems to forget things really easily. He’ll remember big things - birthdays, anniversaries, and your favorite things (shows, games, etc.), but he always tends to forget smaller things. He doesn’t mean to, and you know that he is trying, but sometimes it can be difficult when he forgets that date you two had planned and went to sleep instead. 

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

His favorite moment is when you two were cuddling together one night after he got into a fight with one of his brothers. He was really upset after that argument, and he didn’t have the will to do much else other than lay down and sleep. But, as always, you came to his aid and stayed with him all throughout his self-loathing party. At one point, you began humming quietly in an attempt to make him feel better, and that’s what did it. He began crying quietly, letting all of his insecurity flood out to you. The entire time, you sat there, listening patiently. When he was done, you kissed his forehead and told him that everything would be okay, and that everyone loved him no matter what. It was also this moment that made him truly fall in love with you. 

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

He would never admit it like most other things, but he loves the idea of being protected by you. He knows that scenario is a bit weird, but he just loves it so much. You’re so caring towards him, and he loves the thought of you protecting him from something that he could obviously handle on his own, just because you love him. It makes his heart melt a little. And, of course, he also protects you from anything that seems even mildly dangerous. He vowed to never hurt you, and he also vows to never let anything else hurt you. 

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

He puts in about as much effort as you would expect from him. He does really try, but he just never has the energy to do much. Plus, he knows that you prefer smaller, less extravagant things anyway. Most of the time, special days will be spent with just the two of you (and maybe Beel) either in the attic or the planetarium. You two will spend the whole day together, cuddling and just enjoying each other’s presence.  He usually always tries to make you some sort of food, usually a sweet of some kind. 

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Obviously, he has a bad habit of sleeping in too much. At first, it wasn’t a problem, but now it happens more often than it should, and for far too long. He also has a bad habit of being overprotective of you. In his mind, you are a weak, fragile human that needs to be protected from even the smallest of things. Eventually, he does learn that you can take care of yourself, but that doesn’t stop him from taking it a bit too far sometimes. 

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

One of the last things on his mind is how he looks. Like Levi, he spends most of his time inside, so why should he bother with something as stupid as appearance? He often gets into petty fights about this with Asmo, who is always trying to get him to try harder on his appearance. 

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

He honestly thought he could do fine without you, but when you went home after the exchange program ended, he was falling apart. True to his character, he didn’t let it show, even after you can back, but it always stuck with him from then on that he needed you. He couldn’t stand being away from you, and if it happens again he will go on a rampage. 

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

As I stated previously, I headcanon him to be really good at cooking. At first, he’s shy about it, but soon you two are sharing kitchen duty with each other all the time. He originally learned so that he could cook for Beel, but he also likes cooking for the rest of his brothers (and you too). 

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

He’s not too fond of extraverted people, or people who have a lot of energy in general. It’s fine if you have some energy, but too much is where he draws the line. He has enough of that going on with his brothers, so he prefers someone quieter to enjoy peace and quiet with. 

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

He has a habit of sleeping with other people. It’s easier for him to sleep when someone else is in bed with him, so that’s what he prefers. Prior to the attic, he would actually go to Lucifer and ask to stay with him (if Beel wasn’t available). Now, he usually just sleeps with you or Beel or both. 

[wonglix]

➤ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍 ⦙ 𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐣𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮

chan is such a pure soul, rejecting you in the first place would have been something that made his heart hurt purely because he can’t stand seeing you sad

imagine the devastation he felt when he realised that he was, in fact, absolutely infatuated with you and didn’t just see you as a close friend

he’d struggle so much with this revelation, not too sure what to do. should he just be honest with you, even if it meant admitting that he apparently can’t even read his own emotions? or should he suck it up and accept that he messed up, letting you find someone that doesn’t put you through emotional turmoil?

in short: channie was conflicted and didn’t know what to do

when he rejected you, which he did as gently and as nicely as he could, the two of you agreed that it would take you some time to feel comfortable around him again, and that it would be best for you to distance yourself from him a bit

at the time he thought it was the right thing to do, to let you get over him on your own. now he regrets that he supported your decision, missing you more than he could’ve ever phantomed

was it selfish of him to want you around him, even though he knew that it would most likely make you upset? yes, incredibly selfish and chan knew that, but oh my god did he miss you; especially now that he understood his feelings for you

chan also got extremely nervous because if there’s one thing movies and media in general have taught him, it’s that someone who’s heartbroken is a great target to get close to

and there’s no way he’s going to risk someone else take over his place in your heart!! he might’ve fricked himself over by rejecting you, but he’s set on making it up to you and having you go out with him

he might instruct some of his members to check in on you, just to make sure everything is alright (and to find out what you think of him, but he’s not going to admit to that, ever)

while he does try to keep in contact with you, it’s very easy for him to catch onto the fact that you’re not being honest with him whenever he asks you how you are

now, chan doesn’t blame you (he blames mainly himself) but he still gets upset about you being more open with jisung or felix than you are with him

chan watches with a frown when you come by the dorm to pick up hyunjin and seungmin to spend the day with them, and it makes his heart wrench when you only greet him with an awkward smile (while everyone else gets a hug which is just unfair)

he might be a bit snappy with them for a while because guys!! that wasn’t the plan!! stop!! you’re supposed to make sure y/n is okay, not go on dates with them!! (cue all of them telling him that they’re in fact not dates and that they’re only going out for lunch with you, calm down chan)

after chan went through (what felt like the 5 stages of grief to him) all of that, he finally decides that it’s time to be honest with you and he just hopes that you won’t flat out reject him

the surprise on your face when you open the door and see chan seeing there makes his heart flutter because why are you so cute!! how is he supposed to do this!!

he pushes aside the bitter taste he has in his mouth when he sees how awkward you are, how hard you have to try to keep eye contact with him and how stiff you are around him

you sit him down and ask him what he wants to talk about, and while chan had prepared a whole monologue about how much he loves you, how sorry he is for not realising sooner, how deeply he regrets hurting you that way - the second he sits there next to you on your couch the words are just spilling out of him, no rhyme or reason to his rambling

you have a hard time deciphering his nervous rambling at first, the way he throws around apologies and explanations confusing you even more

chan eventually settles down and does his best to explain it to you, to make you understand that he likes you, that he is sorry, and that he would never joke around like that

“so...you didn’t know that you liked me when you rejected me?” “EXACLTY!!”

it’s confusing, not only for your brain but also for your heart - but you know that chan would never play around with your feelings on purpose, he’d never hurt you like that just for fun

so you decide to forgive him, to accept the fact that he might not always be in touch with his feelings and you agree to go out with him

chan essentially launches himself at you, drowning you in a bear hug. he doesn’t let go for a while because a) he missed you, so so so much and now he finally has you back, b) because now he gets to go out with you and c) because it’s probably too soon for a kiss (he really wants to, but your comfort comes first)

(you kissed him goodnight that night and he almost cried out of happiness because hell yeah!! i can kiss them now!!)

[grimmywrites]

So, about Infinite Darkness...

I’m gonna try to be as succinct as I can (I failed) about all the problems I had with it, but my list is pretty long... Yes, this has spoilers. Let me state upfront: if you’re not a hardcore RE fan, you can skip the show. Below I’ll tell you why.

Story: What a mess. Honestly, they turned me off right at the beginning with all the military stuff. It’s the same reason people didn’t like Chris’ campaign in 6; didn’t they learn anything from that? So, the story wasn’t the best thing I’ve ever seen. Honestly, it had more plot holes than anything and so many points where I went: “I don’t care about this.” Again, it was a jumbled mess. Capcom, hire me and I’ll do better, I swear. Let’s just sum it up by saying it’s a rehash of things we’ve seen SEVERAL times in the series before. If you’re gonna do it AGAIN let’s make the story unique and interesting. Oh, there are shady people in the military that want to use bioweapons in war? Okay, we’ve known that since the first game. We’ve seen it time and time again. Look to re8′s ending for example: the BSAA are now starting to use engineered soldiers - THAT was a reveal that was far more interesting. The way it was addressed and overcome in this show was just... so lackluster. Ultimately, it just felt like this entire thing didn’t need to happen. It changed nothing, it impacted nothing, and I’m aware that it really couldn’t since it was after re4 and before re5. There was just no lasting point and all the ‘themes’ (if you can call them that) made absolutely no sense, but I guess I’ll get into that with the characters? Pacing: Absolutely god awful. One minute we’re in the White House fighting zombies then I blink and it’s over and I’m like: Oh, we’re done? Another we’re in a sub and then I blink. Oh, that’s over, too. Also, the creators must’ve taken a page from the last couple of seasons of Game of Thrones (which is an abysmal idea, don’t fucking do that) because with a few cuts here and there we went from Guam to China back to DC. Guess everybody learned how to teleport so they got exactly where we needed them to for the “climax”. Let’s talk about that climax: There was none. Let’s look at Degeneration and Damnation (no I won’t talk about Vendetta). Both had their weaknesses but Leon and the climaxes were BADASS. Leon doing parkour in Degeneration? Leon going against Lickers and the huge Tyrants in Damnation? Those were amazing scenes. He did a few cool things here and there but nothing that got more of a laugh out of me. My man is coming off re4 where he rampaged through a village, a castle, and an island of mutated creatures to save one girl. C’mon now. Characters: By now (if anybody is even reading this rant), you’ve noticed that I’ve talked a lot about Leon. But what about Claire? Yeah, they lied to us about them working together. She got sidelined again. A lot of people are upset about this -- and yeah, it sucks because I do love Claire. Leon has just happened to be my favorite since 1998 so I wasn’t as heartbroken. That doesn’t mean I’m not disappointed, I’m just not very surprised. Leon - My main problem with Leon is Nick, his voice actor. I’m so sorry for all those who like him, but he just isn’t good enough for me. Paul Mercier (re4, Degeneration, Darkside Chronicles) and Matt Mercer (Damnation, Re6, Vendetta) would have been more appropriate. Nick tries his best, but he’s just too soft sounding to be post-re4 Leon. This is a man who is quipping one-liners left and right a couple of years ago. Now he’s barely smiling and doesn’t feel confident at all, and I think a lot of that is because of his portrayal. There are times where the lines hit, but more often than not they fall flat. I never felt that way with Paul who is my favorite Leon or Matt who gave emotional performances every time. Also, his decision at the end? I can understand it, but explain to Claire! Claire - I like Stephanie as Claire, I have no problems with her. She makes her sound tough and ready to do what she thinks is right. Unfortunately, the story completely sidelines her and makes her role obsolete. Everything she uncovers (because that’s her role apparently, just there to Nancy Drew) is already told to us through flashbacks and other characters. Why even have her? Was it just to show us WHY her and Leon don’t talk often? A waste. Shen Mei - I don’t care. I felt nothing for her. They tried really hard, but they just failed to flesh these new characters out and when her time was up I once again went: Oh? That’s it, then. ‘Kay. I think I laughed a bit, sorry girl. Her whole plotline was to get that chip in Leon’s hand, nothing more. Jason -  I don’t care. A character I thought I felt sorry for with his ptsd but nope. Once his story unfolded - messily, I might add (I hate the REPEATED flashback shit. Tell me once and stop teasing me.) I just went... okay, what the hell is your plan? To spread fear? ‘Kay. It was dumb and made no sense. What, he wants everyone to feel terror so they know? It needed to be clarified. It’s like they couldn’t figure out more synonyms for fear and terror. So, what? It helps keep Leon from going public with the chip and that information? Because he knows it’ll just cause mass hysteria? And then you’ve got Claire’s side - she’s not an agent and she believes the people have a right to know. They’re both right, but there’s no goddamn communication between ANYONE in this show. I just felt exhausted by it, nothing else. Not to mention it’s useless angst because of the plot of Degeneration. Wilson - Our bad guy. Let’s just sum up really quickly in case people were confused by the plot: He was putting infected soldiers into war zones so that even after they died they’d kill anybody involved, then he’d bomb the area and clean up the evidence. These soldiers didn’t show any symptoms because they had inhibitors that kept the virus at bay until they died, so they had to take regular shots to stay human. He’s the one who gets the zombies into the white house so that he could blame it on China and get the US into a war with them. That way he could send in his soldiers and infect the populace. From there, he’s the only one with the cure so he could rake in LOTS of money selling it to the world. AKA: he wants to use the US military to infect everyone so he can make a profit. He gets infected by Jason and gets away... then meets up with someone who gives him an inhibitor. This someone is working for Tricell, the big bads of re5 who work under Wesker. So it leads right into the fifth game. That’s all he is, a tie in and yet another example of someone in power trying to profit off the viruses of the RE world. Honestly, nobody else is worth mentioning. Animation: They’re getting better at it. Leon and Claire looked especially pretty, but there’s still a stiffness here and an issue with everyone’s mouths while they talk. I want to praise how different SOME of the characters look - the president and his aides all look appropriately aged and grizzled and distinct. Same with Jason. Other characters (side characters mainly) kinda look generic. Shen Mei for example isn’t very distinct. I mean, her grandpa and brother (both one scene wonders) were more realistic looking than she was. Even Claire - they gave her a bigger nose and made her look more in line with her Revelations 2 model (thank god I love that model). Movement was pretty fluid, I wish we’d seen more fighting and cool action -- though not to the extent of Vendetta. Maybe that’s what they were trying to avoid, but it didn’t make it any fun to watch. Enemies: This is the last thing I’ll comment on. The zombies were fine - they always are. I heard a ton of reused sounds from remake2, as well, but I thought of it as an Easter Egg more than anything. They looked good, their gore was good, all set there. Problem was, they were basically the only bad guys. That’s a huge fucking disappointment. I know people recognize this series as ‘the one with the zombies’ but that’s not true. Every game (save 7) had MULTIPLE enemy types all created through bio engineering. In this show we see three types. THREE. Zombies. Zombie rats - a one-scene wonder that Leon dispatches fast and easy. I’ll admit, they looked cool but there was nothing else to them. “They’re a bioweapon” and then Leon fries them all with some electricity and we’re done. Jason’s mutated form. Okay, I have to admit, I really loved his design. He was cool, I liked that he could talk and emote. But, other than that? He didn’t DO anything cool. He mutated once and hopped around a lot. That’s it. I mean, a bioweapon that keeps his mental capacities? C’MON! We could’ve done so much more with him. Again, this goes back to why the climax was so bad -- he and Leon didn’t fight. One jumped, the other ran around to catch up and fired a few bullets and a rocket at him. Then he used an acid bath to finish the job. (Also, explain to me WHY he mutated into a tyrant-like creature while everyone else with that specific virus was another form of zombie? We see Jun (Shen’s brother) mutating almost crystal-like at one point but... what? You leave them off for a while and they turn into crystal zombies? Make it make sense.) I’m sure there’s more to say, but honestly, unless you’re a hardcore RE fan like me, I’d say you can skip it. It wasn’t a fun ride, there weren’t any stakes, it wasn’t emotional... it just... was. I will end on one good note that made me smile, though: I loved seeing the Ashley Easter Egg.

[delyth88]

Loki episode 5 rewatch

It’s been a busy week so it wasn’t until yesterday that I had a chance to watch Episode 5 again. And I was a little worried I might not like it as much as I did on first watch, but thankfully I did still find a lot to like about this episode.

Spoilers below...

Firstly, I think it’s taken this long, but I’ve finally gotten used to this new variant of our Loki. To this overly emotive, sweetly stupid at times, often bewildered version of the character.  Let me be clear, he is absolutely not being presented in the same was at the first three films, Infinity War, or even Ragnarok. But I’m finding him easier to watch now that I have no hopes or expectations that he will be the Loki I was hoping we’d get to see again.  Sure, I’m sad they didn’t give us a continuation of the Loki we’re grown to love, but this guy seems to be starting to find his feet, and I’m curious to see what his potential is now.

I was again struck by the increased sense of purpose (no pun intended) of this episode.  It seems to be going places more so than previous episodes were. And again I loved the opening sequence and the music as we travel through the TVA and then out into the Void. It did make me wonder whether the destroyed city was actually a version of the timeline where Loki/Thanos win the Battle of New York, and that’s as far as the significance of that set goes.  My hunch is that we won’t see that long shot of Loki from the trailers in post-apocalyptic New York. They opted for the mirror of the Avengers scene instead as the way Loki finds himself in this place.

I laughed at Loki’s little rant this time too. Particularly the line “plus an alligator, that I’m heartbroken to report I didn’t even find all that strange!”.  In fact there were a few moment when I felt we were getting a little bit of Loki’s old humour. Such as, his “Delightful.” In response to kid Loki talking about cannibalistic pirates, “This is a nightmare.” and “Don’t die isn’t a plan, it’s a general demand of living”.

I do wonder though if this is just about comparison with the other Lokis?  Like they’re all so very much more on the extreme end of comical that it makes our Loki seem the straight guy in comparison? *shrug*

After several days I am still taken by Old Loki and his story.  And on watching it again I was able to appreciate the little moments leading up to his fighting Alioth. He gives the impression of being just so Over It and his crazy comics outfit also directs the audience away from how much he actually cares.  For example he is really quite upset at Lokis in general and presumably also himself after the betrayal by Boastful Loki. He says “We cannot change. We’re broken. Every version of us. Forever.”

And he seems quite affected by Mobius’ offhand comment that “it’s never too late to change”.

And then that look back towards Loki and Sylvie as Alioth approaches.

Gah! This is the kind of thing I wanted for our Loki.  I don’t have the right words to describe it, but it’s partly the back story, partly the change of heart, partly the stakes, the emotional depth. I’m really quite sad that we won’t see more of him.  :( 

@scintillatingshortgirl19​ you asked me what I thought of Loki’s response when Sylvie asks, “How do I know that in the final moments you won’t betray me?”

“Listen Sylvie, I…” Loki pauses and takes a deep breath “I betrayed everyone who ever loved me.  My father, my brother, my home.  I know what I did, and I know why I did it. And that’s not who I am anymore. Okay? I won’t let you down.”

To be honest on my first watch I think I just let it slide over me as yet another one of those lines where they keep telling us what we’re supposed to think of Loki (whether it’s true or not).  I think Episode 4 might have broken me – I didn’t even blink an eyelid.  I think I’ve just heard so many people saying things that I think are absolutely wrong about Loki that I’m just… used to it now?  I dunno. Maybe it was just my mood, or the fact that there were enough other things I enjoyed in the episode that I could ignore it.

But since you pointed it out I’ve been thinking about it and after my rewatch I kinda think Loki has been a little bit influenced by recent events and conversations.  He’s just watched with embarrassment several different versions of himself strike bargains and then betray each other, in such an extreme example of this behaviour that it seemed absurdly comic. Boastful Loki even says “I betrayed you, and now I’m king.” And as they leave the Loki fight behind Old Loki says “We lie and we cheat! We cut the throats of every person who trusts us! And for what! Power!”  So I can kinda see why betrayal is on his mind.  

And perhaps this is something he’s been thinking about for a while now.  Since he tried to strike a bargain with Sylvie before he even really knew her. Old Loki ask if Loki trusts Sylvie and he says” “She’s the only one [of the Loki variants] I do trust! “

But I guess the way I interpreted it is not just literal betrayal like he just watched with the other Loki variants, but also letting people down. Letting himself down. In this context betraying his father would be the events of Thor 1 where he betrays his father’s trust by letting the frost giants into the weapons vault (I think he’s talking about Odin here, not Laufey), and then by not being able to be a good king in the eyes of his father or even his own standards while Odin was in the Odinsleep.  I don’t think he would be thinking of the moment where he lets Laufey into Odin’s chamber because he always intended to betray Laufey and save Odin. Although maybe he feels guilt for that too, in terms of lying to his father.  In regards to his brother, I’d consider any of the times Loki is acting against his brother’s interests, in a serious way such as the times that he was evading and fighting against Thor in Avengers, or when he sent the Destroyer in Thor 1 as betrayals of a sort, and the frost giants at the coronation again. And in regards to his ‘home’ I assume from his perspective this is again about the coronation and the events that led to the destruction of the Bifrost and as far as he’s aware war with Jotunhiem.  Perhaps he’s thinking of the moment when Odin says to Thor “... you are unworthy of the loved ones you have betrayed!” Potentially he’s also thinking of Ragnarok and his actions in causing it after what he read in his file in the TVA. Personally I think he knows it was necessary but still feels a ton of guilt about being the one to actually do it. In this case it’s a betrayal in action but not in heart.

So I think he’s kinda focusing on the guilt he feels. And I think this is why he feels it could extend to Frigga, although he doesn’t mention it I think we as the audience are meant to assume it.  But again, this is in terms of the guilt he feels at a future version of himself inadvertently causing Frigga’s death – as he’s heard this story second-hand from Mobius. You know how if you start feeling bad about something it’s very easy to expand that to a whole bunch of other things you’ve done?  These are the times he feels guilty for his actions in hindsight.

I also think he’s kinda lumping a bunch of things together under the umbrella of the wording of the question that Sylvie has asked.  I think if she’d used a different word he would have echoed that back to her too.

I also think he starts of with “Listen Sylvie, I..” because he was about to defend himself, refuse to acknowledge that he would do such a thing and minimise it, by saying some version of “I would never do that”.  But he catches himself and takes the opposite approach of laying all his faults out plain. Admitting in a slightly exaggerated way that he has betrayed people in the past and he knows it, which he considers is more likely to be believed, and that he won’t betray Sylvie because he’s changed since then.

So I don’t know if I really have a conclusion to draw from this, but I think Loki is exaggerating out of guilt. 

But this is also one of those lines that where the character is telling us not showing us.  Which seems to have started in Ragnarok and is being continued in this series. It’s frustrating, I don’t like it, but it seems this is what they do now.  :/

***

So, it’s taken me a whole ‘nother day to get to finish writing this, and I’ve realised that this is the first episode in a while that has been on my mind since I watched it.  I’m actually invested again! Which I was very much not after Episode 4.

This episode had another piece of Loki’s story, in the form of Old Loki, and that was wonderful, and tragic.  And we’re starting to get somewhere with the plot now.  

And unlike in previous episodes where it looked like they’d left hints of things to come but that turned out not to be the case, I actually feel like we might get payoff for all those comments about Loki’s magic.  Probably not in a way I’d prefer, but at this point I’ll take any sort of change that gives Loki a bit more control over his life.

I’m also feeling again like this story matters.  With episodes 3 and 4 I wasn’t really feeling it.  I hope I’m not too disappointed. lol

I still don’t like the romance, but having resigned myself to the fact this is what they’re doing last week I was better able to watch this.  The fact that Sylvie is as utterly incompetent at personal relationships as our Loki does make it more tolerable to me, and if I take it as some weird AU (which lets be fair is exactly what this is) it is kinda cute. In a way I like that they’re both late 30s/early 40s in appearance, not teens or twenty-somethings. It adds this extra layer to their awkwardness and I think brings home how weird tit is that these thousand year old beings don’t know how to be friends if you can do the mental jumps required to believe this in the first place. I still want it to be platonic or at least not taken any further.  I will gag if they kiss in the finale. 

[spockandawe]

I’m so unbelievably weak against characters who make terrible choices because they’re hurting and upset. I love the subtler resentful decisions that quietly build up ill will, and I love the big dramatic choices that end with everyone going down in flames. But more than anything, I love love love hurting myself with the emotional flavor of a character struggling with the tension of simultaneously realizing that people hate/mistrust them (or how much people hate/mistrust them, or which people hate/mistrust them), while also realizing that those people just have... no idea where they’re coming from.

I was thinking about this first because of Mu Qing, who is honestly a very low-key version of this scenario (and it’s also quieter since he’s not a lead character and rarely takes the spotlight himself). But the first big tgcf flashback honestly made my heart ache, seeing him trying to walk a line between maintaining his own independence/pride and not belonging to someone he wants to be peers with, but when he tries to be tactful, people decide he’s being shady.  He was picking cherries, to bring a treat to his poor mother (and the poor children around his home), but then got accused of stealing, and then didn’t want to say that it was because his only remaining parent was living in poverty. And it continues through the present day! He knocks out Feng Xin so he can save him from a burning city, because Feng Xin refuses to leave, and people are like ‘>:OOO MU QING ATTACKED FENG XIN??’ In some ways, this character hurts me more than the others, because he rarely does anything wrong, he has a bad attitude, but his most significant “missteps” tend to be like ‘you could have been a little more kind, tbh.’

But also too, I’ve been working my way through the svsss extras again, and... Shen Jiu. God, Shen Jiu. This character is agonizing, and I love him so much. He makes terrible choices! He does terrible things! He tries to set up an actual literal child to die horribly, because he resents that this child had a parent who loved him, and that he found his way to Cang Qiong young enough to reach his full potential! It’s absolutely unforgivable! But nobody except Yue Qingyuan has any clue how much Shen Jiu has been through and how to possibly help him grow or heal or how to support him into better decision making. And Shen Jiu is so hurt by the way Yue Qingyuan left him that he refuses to let Yue Qingyuan help him now. Like! This child was a slave, begging for food on the streets, then was sold to a rich boy who abused him in sexually-flavored ways and planned to marry him to his sister so he could keep him forever, and then his “rescuer” was a scumbag adult who taught him to steal and murder. 

And while Shen Jiu was suffering, he thinks Yue Qingyuan, who came from the same beginning and who promised to come back for him, was living in careless pampered luxury in a prestigious cultivation sect. Shen Jiu’s own self-evaluations are incredibly harsh, from the moment he’s reunited with Yue Qingyuan. He calls himself terrible, he calls himself a thing, and once it’s clear that he’s going to pay the price for his bad decisions, he tries hard to shove away the one person who cares about him and find some way to protect him. Yue Qingyuan never stopped loving him and defending him, but literally nobody else in the world has any sympathy for him whatsoever. How am I not supposed to be heartbroken? Shang Qinghua sighs over how his readers used to hate on Shen Qingqiu for having no motivations, which, sure, that’s understandable from what’s on the “Proud Immortal Demon Way” pages, but seeing the trauma driving his choices in svsss and seeing his own self-awareness and self-loathing and knowing that one (1) person in-universe has any inkling of his internal world (and that person died trying to help him), I’m! In pain!!!

Plus, in svsss proper, I saw a post in passing once that was something like... ‘readers are hard on luo binghe, because he’s the only mxtx protagonist where we see the worst decisions of his life and aren’t in his head to understand why he’s making those decisions.’ Which I still find fascinating, and think about often. It makes sense to me. And as far as my terrible-decision-making children go, he’s very interesting to me because he doesn’t really deal with the widespread distaste/mistrust that mu qing and shen jiu experience, it’s very much targeted on one person. I live for the parts of svsss where all Luo Binghe has to do is breathe, and Shen Qingqiu flinches and bolts. And Luo Binghe is not acting in kind or well-considered ways, a lot of the time! But he was seventeen, and his beloved teacher had told him that ‘humans can be good or evil, demons can be good or evil,’ but the moment Luo Binghe turned out to be half demon, even though he’d just been fighting desperately trying to protect Shen Qingqiu, that teacher he trusted more than anything immediately turned on him, stabbed him in the chest, and threw him into hell.

That’s agonizing!!!! Even without the aftermath, that’s agonizing to read! And when Luo Binghe comes back, years later, he’s upset, he’s hurt, he’s lonely, he’s still stinging from that betrayal, of course he’s not making good decisions. I follow good blogs, because I haven’t seen any terrible Luo Binghe takes on my dash, but I’m kind of :c that these takes apparently exist. Again, it’s not that I think he makes good decisions, but I can see why he makes bad decisions, and I can see other characters missing that context, and I am rolling in terrible, glorious pain. Luo Binghe shows up secretly in Huan Hua Palace and starts taking it over and generally acts shady as heck? Well, Shizun wouldn’t let him beg for forgiveness when he was a disciple, and he’s afraid to face Shen Qingqiu until he can meet him on a semi-equal footing. Luo Binghe gets angry and spiteful when Shen Qingqiu asks if he’s responsible for the sowers? Yes he does! He’d always, always tried to do right by Shen Qingqiu, and trusted Shen Qingqiu when he said demons could be decent people, but the moment he turned out to be half-demon, Shen Qingqiu immediately started expecting the worst from him at every turn. It hurts! I don’t blame him for acting on that hurt! And I am so endlessly compelled by the way that Shen Qingqiu completely fails to recognize the context for where Binghe is coming from.

And like... I cannot leave out Xue Yang and Jin Guangyao. Xue Yang is fascinating in his own way, because the steps are... a lot more explicit and clear-cut than some of these other characters. Shen Jiu’s downward spiral is very internal and he curls up tight to hide his weak spots even with the person who values him most in the whole world, but Xue Yang very plainly tries to lay out his reasoning for his most important person. His whole world is crumbling by the time things reach that point, and it was probably beyond salvaging, but god! He tries so hard to explain the position the world placed him in, from childhood onward, helpless and vulnerable, and that nobody was going to defend him except himself. 

But when Xiao Xingchen doesn’t understand what he’s trying to communicate, when he realizes that the person he values most isn’t willing to hear what he’s trying to say, he starts lashing out again and trying to hurt. It’s the same lesson he learned when he was young, in some ways. ‘If I’m stupid enough to trust you, you’re going to use that to hurt me.’ And then the logical next step, ‘If you’re going to hurt me, all I can do is try to hurt you worse.’ You can see the trauma playing out right there on the page, and it’s agonizing. I can understand some people not enjoying reading things that make them hurt that way, but I have trouble Getting it when people don’t at least find that kind of dynamic compelling as hell. I’ll sometimes avoid media that I know is going to make me sad, but if I’m in the mood to Experience Sadness, I know a dynamic like this is going to grab me by the heart and shake me like a ragdoll.

And... Jin Guangyao. He was on my mind too, partly because I’ve seen a few takes on his motivations lately that honestly kind of baffle me? Like, to each their own, especially since mdzs never takes us inside his head. But I see posts that like... he was bullying Nie Mingjue, or what if Lan Xichen could Tell he was never genuine and mistrusted him on some level, and how to put this. It’s not that I agree with the choices he made, though I really don’t want to play fandom purity police in any way, shape, or form (murder is good, actually), but I understand the choices he made enough that those sort of interpretations that skew towards the cruelty-for-the-sake-of-cruelty territory honestly kind of upset me.

There’s some interesting comparisons to be made with Mu Qing, in some ways. They both grew up poor, without a father, in “shameful” single-parent situations (a sex worker mother vs. a father being executed for being a criminal). They were poor boys with ambition, but no matter how they tried to carry themselves with dignity, those poor beginnings were rubbed in their faces, years after the fact. I think it does make a real difference that Mu Qing’s shame is mostly based in his own history (sweeping floors) while Jin Guangyao’s is more external (son of a whore), and that Jin Guangyao’s also insulted a parent who he loved dearly, and that Mu Qing was seeking the respect outside of famiial structures while Jin Guangyao was desperate to be accepted by his father.

There’s so much of Jin Guangyao’s early life that’s like ‘I’m Just Trying To Live My Life, My Dude,’ and it hurts me to watch. He really didn’t have goals that were all that excessive! If his goals were excessive in some way, it’s only by virtue of how highly ranked his father was, which isn’t his fault. His goal: ‘I want my father to accept me into the family.’ What the world saw: “oh my god, this son of a whore SERIOUSLY wants to be brought into this noble family, lmaooooo.’ There are characters who are more compassionate than that, and a lot of that reaction is down to the nature of the setting, but LORD, man! It’s honestly a pretty restrained goal for a kid to have! Especially when his father totally promised to come back for him someday, and he waited patiently for years before setting out on his own.

And even once he gets kicked down the steps of Koi Tower and dials back his ambitions, he gets so little space to breathe. He’s learning cultivation late, he takes a position as a nobody in a different cultivation sect, he’s just trying to live. But no matter how he rolls with the punches, no matter how he smiles and bears it, he’s being constantly, constantly prodded in that old, painful bruise. I’ve been finally working my way through The Untamed, and it was painful to watch, in Gusu, when he’s trying to present the Nie Sect’s gift to Lan QIren, and people just start focking gossiping about him, right there, perfectly audibly. And when we see him back in Qinghe, he’s perfectly polite and deferential, and that one disciple is still like ‘fuck you, ur mom was a whore.’

He makes bad decisions, but even when he makes good decisions, he can’t win. I don’t get anything from him at all that suggests he had Hugely Lofty Ambitions from a young age, he just wanted some kind of decent life, but almost nobody would cut him a break. Nie Mingjue did cut him a break, and Lan Xichen was gentle and kind to him, and that made such an impact on him. But I also think it made it that much worse, when he made later questionable decisions, and Nie Mingjue refused to let him explain himself. Nie Mingjue’s rigidity breaks my heart in lots of ways, but especially when it comes to Jin Guangyao. I don’t want to make this all about personal attachment, but it’s kind of inescapable in this situation. Nie Mingjue sends him a loud, violent message that if he’s not perfectly morally upright, he’s Done. But by now, Jin Guangyao has years of history of people being cruel to him based on a history he never was able to control. Nie Mingjue protected him, but hes made it clear that protection was... conditional. There could be arguments about how conditional, and what the non-murdery limits would have been, but the murder has been done, and it was already clear that Nie Mingjue never had the power to protect him from everything.

I can’t read Jin Guangyao’s later actions without also reading that fear and insecurity into his decisions. He even tries to say it outright, that he’s afraid of everyone and everything, and Nie Mingjue misses the point. Jin Guangyao hurts me a lottle, because he suffers both in terms of the general public’s judgment of him, but also in the judgment of someone he cared deeply about. I can see the reasoning and trauma, but so many other people in the story can’t. Jin Guangyao gets pushed to the edge by how his father holds him at arm’s length from the family, the atrocities he tells Jin Guangyao to commit on his behalf (and then maybe I’ll treat you like my actual son, maybe), but when he tries to express that, Nie Mingjue is like ‘can’t you just endure more, though??’ He builds a temple with a statue with the face of his dead beloved mother, and the public is like ‘omg, he made that statue with his OWN FACE, can you believe it??’

In some ways, the way Lan Xichen determinedly loves and trusts him makes it all hurt even worse. I absolutely believe Jin Guangyao when he says that he never once wanted to act against Lan Xichen. So many of the terrible decisions Jin Guangyao makes tie so directly to him seeking either safety or security. But he works hard in social gatherings to keep the peace and people think he’s two-faced. He endures years of mistreatment before hitting back and people judge him for hitting back at all and say that well, what else could we have respected from someone with that background. Nie Mingjue threatens to kill him multiple times, and he was a very straightforward, honest man, of course Jin Guangyao was frightened of him and decided it was safer to see him dead. I live for the pain of seeing a character I love make decisions I strongly disagree with, understanding why they’re making those decisions, and seeing other characters not understand, and simply hate them for the decisions.

This isn’t exactly new, this is why I’ll never be able to shake my love for Starscream, even if his quality of motivation... varies by continuity. And Pharma and Prowl are two of my favorite characters in all of idw1 for exactly this reason. I’ve got  at least three fics brushing up against Pharma’s resentment over ‘yes, i got ordered to run a hospital on a garbage planet I was sharing the most violent, sadistic decepticons in existence, I SURE WONDER WHY I WAS DRIVEN TO THIS DESPERATE POINT, BUT THE LOVE OF MY LIFE THINKS I’M JUST A TERRIBLE PERSON, SO I GUESS THAT’S THAT.’ 

And in the murderbot books, I genuinely get reduced to tears when murderbot has to deal with people compassionately interpreting its behavior instead of giving it no credit, the way its used to. I find the raksura books intensely, intensely satisfying in how Moon struggles to fit into a highly social, close-knit society after growing up so traumatized and alone, and how his colony gradually adapts to him and gets used to his quirks, instead of driving him out, the way he’s experienced so many times. No real conclusion here, I was just spacing out during a work training call, and got overtaken by how much I love characters who experience this particular flavor of emotional isolation.

[jennibeultimate]

Personal recap Worlds 2021 - Men SP

If you thought I won't do it then you thought wrong 😂

King Yuzu slayed! ❤️ 🥳🥳🥳

Just look at this picture by Joosep Martinson, it says all about the fire 🔥 and energy of the program. Such an entertainment! No score can tell what performance that was. German commentators in ARD One and ESP both said this was the best SP ever skated. Well then....here is the disappointment, it doesn’t have the best score. 😕 106 enough for first but imo the PCS could have been way higher (only one 10.0 - c'mon he deserves all the 10s). Especially when Nathan receives just 1 point less for a program with a fall and just half the choreographic content...but what is new??? Overall I am just really glad Yuzu skated clean. The rest is not in his power.

Shoma why such a silly mistake? 😭 Program is superb! Loved it ❤️

The energy, the fire was all there but what a silly place to fall. A 3A of all jumps Shoma really??? Daniel Weiss (German comment on ARD) gushed all the way about how Shoma deserves high 9s for his skating, because of what he can do with his skates. And yeah I think the mistake costed on PCS. I think if Nathan can score 46 PCS with a mistake that would be very well justified for Shoma too and Shoma did a way better interpretation...Anyway I think the score was well enough for a mistake and I am super glad he made the last group. And he is not a SP skater anyway. So pls no silly mistakes in the free! 🙏And actually all that matters is that Shoma found the fun in skating again. Two years ago he probably would have been heartbroken with such a skate. Today he smiled and even joked in the interview arena. I love that. 😍

Photo by Asahi

Yuma Kagiyama was superb. 👌What a SP debut. The security was insane. 💯 was well deserved. You go Yuma! 🥳 Amittedly not a big fan of the music but the way he did the program was amazing! I am really sceptical though if he can maintain that carefree attitude he portrayed in the free skate...if he can then congrats kid you probably earned yourself a medal. 😊

Now the gushing about Team Japan is done. I could say a lot more though. 😅

Where to start with Nathan? The fall was really unexpected, you could just see it rattled him a lot. Until the combo was done there was hardly any commitment to the program. I already said his PCS were too high imo but with world champ bonus this was expected. And actually if they give a youngster debut 43 PCS how can they give Nathan with his reputation less? Is it right? No, but that's how reality is. In general ofc Nathan had the hardest layout, the BV was still there hence he didn't drop lower. I don't agree on Nathan's score but this is not his fault. And dammit ppl celebrating Nathan's fall are just mean. Again the scoring is not his fault!!! I absolutely wouldn't have predicted Nathan in 3rd.

Keegan Messing delivered! So happy for him! Canada is on a good way to earn a 2nd spot! 🥳 Such a lovely charming program from Keegan! ❤️ Last group probably a thing he didn't expect to see...

Mikhail Kolyada: The only reason Misha doesn't have an arsenal of titles is that he is one of the skaters with the most stupid mistakes all the time. He didn't put the full risk and a 4T combo he can do in his sleep probably, but nope mistake. This could have broken 100 and would have deserved it for the choreography, the way it was performed, the skills of Misha, but those silly mistakes...argh. I think they will keep him off podium because skating clean is not in Misha's repertoire...sorry to be so harsh but it's really upsetting that this talented man cannot deliver his standard. I am only so harsh on him because I know he can do more. I love the program for Misha though 😍

Jason Brown was scored like I actually would score Jason...not in comparison with what others got though like Nathan and his PCS (sorry Nathan that bugs me you see, not you the judges ofc) It's probably a very unpopular opinion but imo his scores are usually too high 🤷‍♀️ (His GOEs are often comparable to Tutberidze's ladies) So actually I am fine with Jason's place...I am not a fan of the program I liked many other SPs better of him but I know many ppl loved it and it was perfectly fitted to the music and Jason did super well but it's just not my cup of tea. 😅 (don't stone me!) I do like Jason very much though as a person and a skater, I may be just less euphoric about Jason!

Kevin Aymoz did well. He has some cool moves going on. I am not sure if I like the program or not but I love to see him perform. And I am super happy he made such a good skate because his last appearance I witnessed on Euros 2020 was heartbreaking. Well done Kevin! 👍

I have never seen Junhwan Cha so secure like he performed here! 👏👏👏👏Probably the first time all worked really well and he didn't receive URs, everything was perfect. 👌

Some other pleasant surprises of today were :

Lukas Brigtschi - good program and musically well performed, he improved a lot through a year 👏👏👏

Nikolaj Majorow - the cartwheel was cool. The energy and the program were fun to watch. 👏👏👏

Han Yan - so glad he is back. This gliding, those arm movements - wonderful. 😍 😍 😍

Deniss Vasilijews - they should have given him more PCS. 😤 He was so good. 🤩

Donovan Carillo - this ray of sunshine deserves the world! ❤️

I am always glad to see Alexei Bychenko and Michal Brezina. They may not skate perfectly. But at their respective ages the can still fight with the youngsters! Admirable!

I am very sorry for Boyang Jin. It just didn't go well. I am glad to see he gets help by BOrser but I wonder if the coaching change happened too late?

I am not a Vincent Zhou fan at all but no one deserves a skate like this. To not make the free was right but is tough. I am sorry. Only in the men discipline can a skater be a medal contender and not qualify. Who would have guessed this?

Good luck for the free skate for everyone!

[namixart]

So. Sorry for vagueposting but rant under read more because I'm livid.

So. You may have seen my awesome new tattoo. It's great, I love it and it makes me super happy. If you haven't seen it, it's a tattoo of Cloud's Buster Sword covered in Aerith's flowers. The reasoning behind it, as I mentioned in my original post, is that 2020 wasn't really a fun year for anyone. Me? I got through it relatively unscathed, and a lot of it I credit to FFVIIR coming out and working on Wildflowers. I genuinely love it and I'm always excited to share more and more with you guys! I also spent most of the year gushing about the game and the characters to anyone who'd listen, and I don't feel like it's a stretch to say that if not for FFVIIR and Wildflowers I'd be in a much worse place right now, mental health wise. More specifically than just FFVII, it's been thanks to Cloud and Aerith. They're my favourite characters in the game (together AND separately) and honestly probably my favourite characters ever. Period. They're both absolutely comfort characters for me and I break out in a huge smile whenever they're so much as brought up. So, I decided to get a tattoo representing them. Because I wouldn't be doing as well as I am now if not for them. Again, both together and separately. As I mentioned in the caption of the photo I posted of my tattoo.

Now, tonight I got a notification: "[username] reblogged your post!" So, obviously, I went to check it out! Everyone has been absolutely lovely on that post--a lot of compliments and excitement RE: the tattoo--and I wanted to see if there was more of that. There was not. No, what I found in the reblog was [username] very smugly asking me what I would tell people "when C/T end up together again in remake" and I look like an idiot for getting a C/A tattoo. Would I tell them the remake retconned canon? Or would I lie and say it's a Z/A tattoo?

So, they obviously got blocked faster than the speed of light and they deserve none of my or anyone else's attention, but I just kinda need to rant, because hey, none of this is okay! First of all, there was nothing in that post or the tags talking about C/T or just T (don't want this showing up in their tags, I'm not an animal). The tattoo has nothing to do with C/T (or Z/A for that matter), and I did not feel the need to be snippy or talk about the LTD at all. For that matter, even if I did tag it as C/A, it's not really even just a shipping tattoo. First and foremost, it's about Cloud and Aerith in their capacity as my favourite FFVII characters, my comfort characters and the fact that they helped me get through 2020 and the first half of 2021. Do I ship C/A? Yes, obviously. But I'm not yet so deranged that that would be enough to get a tattoo. No, this was about the game and the characters. At any rate, the fact that I didn't tag it as C/T and that they still found the post means that they went snooping through the C/A tag to find it, presumably to get mad and be mean at strangers on the internet just trying to exist in peace. Which is bad enough. [username], if you're out there (and you're not, because blocked), please do all of us a favour and get a life.

Secondly, and most importantly, [username] missed something that's very obvious to somebody with basic reading comprehension skills (I know this is Tumblr but come on). The mental health thing. Now, I don't know where I would be if FFVIIR and Wildflowers hadn't happened at the time that they did, but I'd be in much worse shape. This story and these characters were consistently a huge comfort and escape for me for over a year and a half, and that's the reason I got a tattoo. So, [username] looked at a post of me being happy about my tattoo because it brings me joy and represents characters who bring me joy and got me through a goddamn global pandemic and went "That's nice," and proceeded to spit out whatever verbal garbage came to mind. This is the part that infuriates me. I'm not hurt, I'm not heartbroken, I don't care. But this sort of behaviour is disgusting. I'd be equally livid if I saw it happen to somebody else. Guess what you don't get to do? Shit on people's happiness and intrude like this. For all they know, I could've been in a much worse state than I was--did they ever think about that? That's the part that gets me. Like, who are you to come onto my post, take it way too seriously and be mean about something that represents my coping mechanism? Disgusting. I hope they know that every single character they mentioned, especially their beloved T, would be disgusted with them.

And even if none of this was the case, even if I did go off the deep end and get a tattoo because ooohh cute ship, even if I didn't have any mental health issues associated with it--even if all of that. They still thought it was appropriate to take a post of someone just trying to share a tattoo that they loved and be rude and mean-spirited and smug on it. While specifically looking through the C/A tags too, let's not forget that sad cherry on this pathetic sundae. What kind of person do you have to be, to act like this and think you're in the right? This is the most sincere "Get a life" I've ever said, Jesus Christ. Guess what? Shipping isn't that big of a deal! I know, radical. You know what is a big deal? Assholes like this trying to make everyone else's lives worse for... reasons? Kicks? I genuinely can't fathom the thought process you'd have to go through to end up at "I'll be mean to this person I've never met who's just having fun and being happy. Serves them right." I just... I'm upset. Not for myself (I truly do not care about one internet troll), but just in general that this kind of people exist. Vile. Get a life, and I'll go show my tattoo to people whose opinion I actually care about.

And, for the record, if FFVIIR does end with canon C/T (which, honestly, I really don't think it will resolve the LTD at all), I'd just still tell people that the tattoo was never meant to be, like, some deranged "I SUPPORT THIS SHIP AND I WANT IT CANON OR I'LL LIGHT MYSELF ON FIRE" thing. It is, and always was, meant to represent two of my favourite characters who helped me through a really rough spot. Simple as that.

Also they got an ask from someone congratulating them on "putting toxic C/As in their places" I'm gonna fucking piss myself. Go eat a bag of dicks, fuckhead, and leave me alone.