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skzhocomments · 7 months

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Clingy - Bang Chan Oneshot Fanfic

General Masterlist

Pairing: Bang Chan (Stray Kids) x OC (name: Aera. Story is written in 2nd person)

Genre: angst, fluff

Word Count: ~3.3k

Warnings: a little angst, crying

This is just a story that doesn’t describe Bang Chan or other mentioned Stray Kids’ members true characters in any way. It’s just a product of my imagination and should be treated as such.

This story is also on Wattpad (click here) and AO3 (click here)

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Summary

You overhear Chan and Jisung talking about how clingy you are, and it really hurts your feelings.

A/N: As any other writer out there, I would appreciate reblogs and your comments on this story. Please let me know if you enjoyed it, and most importantly, have fun!

---

Clingy

"Is Aera coming over today?"

"Probably."

"Tsk. She's always here. Don't you find it annoying?"

You were just outside the door when this conversation between Chris and Jisung stopped you dead in your tracks.

You've been dating Chris for just shy of a year now, and you figured out early in the relationship that he never has free time. He's a workaholic through and through, starting his days with early practice and finishing them with late nights in the studio. Thus, you came up with a solution: whenever you wouldn't be working night shifts, you would come visit him in the studio and keep him company.

You never interrupted or bothered him. You just watched him work, stealing occasional kisses when he'd take short breaks, taking care of him, bringing him food (as he more often than not forgot to eat balanced meals completely), giving him water when his bottle would run out, and massaging his shoulders when he'd feel particularly stiff.

You never considered yourself to be annoying, until now. And although you shouldn't listen to other people's conversations, you just had to know what your boyfriend thought about it.

"Annoying? How so?" Chris asked.

"I mean, she's being so clingy. She always wants to see you or be around you and she's coming by, like, every day. It seems exhausting."

"Oh... Yeah, I see what you mean. Well..."

"What?" Jisung chuckles.

"She is a bit clingy, yeah."

"It annoys me sometimes. I miss our bonding time in the studio." Jisung chuckles again.

"Yeah, it would be nice to sometimes have time to ourselves. Sure." Chan chuckles as well, and you start feeling your heart break into a million pieces with every word you hear.

"Oh, so you also find her a bit... of a nuisance?"

"I wouldn't say that... But she does suffocate me sometimes, I won't lie."

You truly didn't know that Chris viewed you as suffocating. He's never told you.

If he had, you would've never started to come to the studio.

Why did he even give you an access key?

Already on the verge of tears, you decide to turn around and give Chris what he obviously wants: time away from you. Just as you do, you see Changbin walking towards the studio.

"Aera!" He exclaims and runs to you happily, taking you in his arms and spinning you around. You've become close friends ever since you started dating Chan, and this was how he always said hi to you.

"Binnie!" You ruffle his hair and smile back.

"Did you come visit? Let's go." He grabs your hand, and before being able to protest, he opens the door and drags you inside.

You try to keep on smiling as you say hi to your boyfriend and Jisung, but now that you're aware of their true feelings towards you being here, you can't help but notice every small detail. Chris and Jisung give each other a knowing look, and you notice it. You just know it's because you are there again.

You wonder if Changbin feels the same way, if he also finds you annoying and suffocating.

Your chest is tight, and it's getting hard to pretend that everything is okay. It's difficult to breathe. You can't even bring yourself to speak much, afraid that Chris will find you smothering, so your words get stuck in your throat, choking you.

You don't even laugh much at their jokes, and you wonder how everything can change in just a span of 10 minutes. The studio used to be a safe space for you, where you could relax and be yourself, but it now feels like a cage.

It seemed like you could now notice all sorts of things you weren't able to notice before. Although Chan is his usual self, it somehow feels different to you.

He doesn't want to spend time with me; runs through your head repeatedly, and with every passing minute, it's getting harder and harder to stay there.

You want to leave.

No, you need to leave.

Your eyes are watering up and the pressure in your chest is crushing you; the throbbing pain in your heart is getting too much; your eyes start to water again; and you need, you need to find an excuse and run away from this place.

You have to come up with something - anything convincing enough so that Chris won't bat an eye. Something that wouldn't be too obvious a lie.

"Oh, shit!" You exclaim, and the three men in the room look at you with questioning eyes.

"What's wrong?" Chris asks.

"I just remembered! Fuck! I promised Jia I'm taking over her shift tonight! Shit! I have to go!" You jolt up from the sofa and grab your bag hastily.

I have to get out.

"Oh, no! Want me to drive you?" Chris asks as he stands up as well.

"No, don't worry. I know you have work to do." You smile briefly, then wave to Jisung and Changbin and begin to turn around.

"You sure?" Chan grabs your hand, making you look at him.

"Yeah. If I leave now, I'll make it just in time."

"Ok, babe. See you tomorrow?"

"Sure." You smile as he presses his lips against yours briefly, before you part from him.

"Text me when you get there, so I know you're safe."

"Will do, bye bye!" You turn around and leave the room with haste, and once you're finally alone in the elevator, with the doors closed and already moving towards the ground floor, you break down.

It's hard to stop the tears from flowing, the overwhelming sadness completely taking over you, and you feel every piece of you ache. It shouldn't hurt this much. He didn't say he didn't love you. He simply said you're suffocating.

It's not that bad.

Is it?

You realise that Chris is right; you are smothering. You've always been the clingier one in the relationship, and maybe it's time to take a step back and stop being so keen on spending time with your boyfriend.

Maybe you should simply let him initiate whatever outings he wants, whenever he has time, and you'll see to your hobbies and occupy your mind with something else but him.

You get home and join a class right away. You don't even notice what you've clicked on.

Pottery, apparently.

Whatever.

This will do.

"She still hasn't texted me."

"Hm? What did you say, Hyung?" Han raises his head from his notebook. They've been working on a new song for a few hours now, and whenever Jisung writes lyrics, he gets completely absorbed in them, not noticing anything else.

"I said, she still hasn't texted me. How many hours has it been since she left for her shift?" Chan asks uneasily. You've always texted him to let him know you're safe, so this felt completely out of character for you.

"Maybe she just forgot." Jisung shrugs.

"Have you tried calling her?" Changbin asks.

"Yeah, I did... she won't pick up either."

As he answers this, Chan's breath hitches in his throat. What if something happened? What if you've had an accident, or fell and hit your head, or- it was already pretty dark out when you left.

Why the fuck did he let you go alone? He should've taken you to the restaurant himself.

Fuck, why are you still working there anyway? He's told you time and time again that he can take care of you while you search for a job in your field. He knows how hard you've worked for your diploma and how disappointed you've been after searching for months on end with no results.

Why didn't you want to take him up on the offer? That would mean all the free time in the world, and more importantly, no night shifts.

"I'm sure she's fine, Hyung." Changbin puts a comforting hand on Chan's shoulder, pulling him out of his thoughts. "But if you're that worried, you could go to the restaurant. It's not far from here anyway."

"Is that okay?" He asks anxiously.

"Yeah. We can manage just fine for a couple hours, don't worry."

With a short nod, Chan stands up and grabs his coat.

"You're just as clingy as her." Jisung chuckles slightly. "Message us when you're there."

"Will do!"

Chris runs hastily to the elevator and clicks on the button for the underground parking lot, then hurries to his car. The ride to the restaurant is less than 10 minutes long, and he curses once more for not taking you himself.

He couldn't even spare 10 minutes for you.

Fuck.

He's definitely never felt shittier...

... until he reaches the restaurant, goes inside, and sees that you're nowhere in sight.

"Chris? Oh, hi! I almost didn't recognise you with your cap on. What are you doing here?" A girl approaches him with a large smile.

"Jia? I thought you weren't working tonight?" He stares at the girl in front of him in confusion.

"Yeah, I am." The girl replies, just as confused.

"Oh... is Aera here?"

"No, she's working day shifts this month. Hasn't she told you?"

"She did, I just thought... whatever, nevermind." Chan waves his hand and smiles. "Thanks."

"You didn't have a fight, did you?" Jia asks with a worried expression on her face.

Chan didn't know. Did you?

"... no, we didn't. Thank you, Jia. Have a nice shift!" He waves and leaves the restaurant, and as soon as he's back in the car, he takes his phone out to call you again, when he notices a text.

Sorry Channie, it's been chaotic at work, and I couldn't check my phone until now. I forgot to text you to let you know all's okay. I got there safe <3

He freezes.

You lied. You've never lied to him before.

Why?

He decides not to call your bluff and plays along. You surely have a reason to lie to him, and he wants you to come forward yourself instead of having to confront you.

You're safe. That's all that matters.

Or that's what he's trying to tell himself, although doubts start running rampant in his mind. Your behaviour today has been weird, ever since you came to the studio. You avoided eye contact, you invented an excuse to leave after not even 20 minutes, you lied that you're going to the restaurant, and you haven't even messaged him to let him know you've gotten there, or home, or wherever the heck you've gone, safely.

With a sigh, he starts the engine and drives back to the studio.

"Babe, can you give me some water, please?" Chan asks in a quiet voice as he's trying to perfect a beat he's been working on. It's 2AM already, and he's growing tired.

When you don't answer, he asks something again, this time in a whisper.

"Did you fall asleep?"

There's still no answer coming from you, so he turns his chair around to see you, and then the realisation hits him.

You're not there.

In fact, he can't even remember the last time you've come to the studio to keep him company.

He noticed that ever since that night you lied to him, you've been acting strange. You no longer text him unless he texts you first; you don't initiate any dates or activities with him; and most importantly, you're never there.

He misses you.

Did you fall out of love? Are you trying to let him down slowly by spending less and less time with him?

Shit, he never expected love to hurt as much as it does. Your absence hurts.

He grabs his phone to text you, hoping that you're not asleep. It takes you 12 minutes to reply. 12 minutes that passed by agonisingly slowly, but he's at least grateful you actually replied. Waiting until morning would've been torture.

As soon as he sees your text, he calls you.

"Yeah?" You reply, your voice small. You always sound like this when you've just woken up.

Fuck, when was the last time Chan woke up next to you?

"Sorry, babe, did I wake you up?"

"Mhm. What's wrong?"

"I just- can I come over?"

"Now?" You reply, still sounding asleep.

"Yeah. I really want to see you."

"You have a key though..." You yawn. "... why ask me?"

"... I know. I'll be there in 10 minutes, okay?"

"Mkay."

Chan makes his way to the parking lot and checks his wallet, phone, and the keys to your place a hundred times. When he's sure he has everything, he starts driving. He usually loves late–night drives, but his heart is now ridden with anxiety, which makes it completely unpleasant .

In front of your door, he contemplates once more using your key. He used to use it and come over all the time, but he's been so stumped with work as of late that he can't even remember when the last time he's been here was.

The apartment is quiet and dark, so he does his best to not disturb the peace as he walks hesitantly through the hallway until the bedroom.

The lights are turned off in the bedroom as well, and you're now fast asleep again. Still, he comes behind you and spoons you; he lets his face come close to your head and takes in your familiar scent as he hugs you.

"You're home?" You ask quietly.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."

"It's fine." You yawn again.

"I missed you so much." He whispers, and you hum.

"Mhm. I missed you too."

"Do you... still love me?"

"What?" You ask, your voice audibly more awake now. "Of course I still love you, Channie. What kind of question is that?"

"You've been so... distant lately. You don't even come over anymore."

"Look who's talking." You chuckle slightly. "When's the last time you've been here?"

"... you're right. But..."

"I'm sorry." You whisper, feeling yourself on the verge of crying again. "I do still love you, but... I was suffocating you. Maybe it's better that we spend less time together now."

"What?" Chan sits up on the bed, leaving you feeling empty and your back cold. You sit up as well and turn on your lamp, and looking at his face breaks your heart. His eyes are glistening with tears, matching yours like a mirror.

"You... you said you feel suffocated by me... I know I'm too clingy, so..."

"Wait! No... When- when did I say that to you?" He frowns. "Maybe I've just-"

"To me?" You smile bitterly, cutting him off. "Never. But you told Jisung how suffocating I am and how you sometimes just want time on your own, so... I'm giving you that."

As soon as he hears your words, he remembers. He had one conversation about this with Jisung, which he realised was bullshit anyway when he noticed how much he thinks about you and how lonely he feels when you're not there.

"Baby, I-"

"Don't even bother denying it, Chris. I heard it."

You look away as you feel like starting to cry again, and tears start falling immediately after. Fuck, it's pathetic, really.

"Aera, look at me, please. I didn't mean to deny it..." He pleads with you, but it's hard to listen to him and raise your head. It's so damn hard to see him.

When Chris sees you won't budge, he doesn't know what to do. You're crying and shaking, and it's all because of him. He's hurt you.

He thinks about how he could make it better and decides to hug you tightly.

"Baby, look... I did say that, and I'm truly sorry. I was so, so wrong. Yes, you are clingy, but fuck, I don't want it any other way. I've missed you so much these past weeks."

You stand silent and just listen to him.

"I kept turning my chair around to look at you and you were never there. I kept checking my phone but there were no messages from you. I didn't even know if I could still use the key you gave me, or if you're not comfortable with that anymore..."

"Channie, how can you even think that?" You cry out, and he hugs you tighter. "This is your home too."

"I'm truly sorry... I've been up in my ass with work and neglected you completely, and only realised how much I need you by my side when you were gone..."

"Yeah." You whisper.

"Are we going to be fine...?"

"... Yeah, we are. Just... please tell me if it gets too much, mhm?"

"It won't." He kisses your forehead as he smiles slightly. "Thank you for forgiving me. But Aera, you know? You also lied to me." He chuckles. "You didn't have any shifts that night."

"I'm sorry... I was hurt, and- wait, how do you know that?"

"I went to the restaurant to check on you, and Jia was really confused to see me there." He lets go of you and grabs your face with his hands, running his thumb over your cheeks and wiping away all the tears.

"I just... felt so horrible. Hearing you say that I'm suffocating you was like a punch in the gut. I'm so sorry I was too clingy."

He shakes his head and presses his lips against yours.

"Please be clingy from now on. I thought it felt suffocating, but I actually got so used to the warmth of your attention, that being without it felt utterly depressing. So, please, keep clinging to me."

"... okay." You nod.

"And please come by and spend time with me in the studio again, hm? What about tomorrow evening? We can have dinner together, and then you can come hang out with me. If you want to, of course."

"Oh, actually-" She chuckles slightly, "I can't have dinner with you tomorrow, sorry. I can come after 9 to the studio, though."

"Why?" He tilts his head.

"Well, you see...?" You rub your nape, "I have a pottery class from 7:30."

"Pottery?" Chan laughs in disbelief. "When did that happen?"

"When I decided to fill my days with something else to keep me from thinking about you all the time." You smile sadly, and he pouts.

"But I want you to think about me all the time. I also think about you all the time."

"The pottery class will last for a few more weeks, so you'll have to make do." You poke his nose playfully, and he is quick to scrunch it.

"You're punishing me." He kisses you again. "Do you like making pottery?"

"Honestly? I'm shit at it." You say, and both of you burst out laughing.

"I didn't ask you if you're a pro or not. Only if you enjoy it."

"Mhm... I think I do." You smile.

"That's amazing. Show me what you've worked on."

You excitedly grab your phone and show him all the photos and videos you've taken in the past few weeks, explaining the techniques you've learned and how much you've been struggling to keep up with the class, and Chris listens attentively.

By the time you're done talking, it's almost 5 AM, and both of you are barely able to keep your eyes open.

"So, now that we're okay, should we head to sleep?" You ask, and Chris caresses your arm gently.

"Yeah. Let's sleep. Good night, my love."

"Good night."

He kisses the back of your head, and you both fall into a deep, restful slumber.

~The End~

360 notes · View notes

skzhocomments · 10 months

Text

THE WHITE LILY (Mafia Book #1 - Bang Chan) - Story Masterlist (COMPLETED)

Pairing: Bang Chan (Stray Kids) x Emilia (alias: Shade)

Genre: MAFIA AU, angst, romance

Word Count: ~33k words

Warnings: explicit mature content, mentions of death and other graphic scenes (it's a Mafia...), swearing, blood, anxiety etc.

This is just a story that doesn’t describe SKZ members’ true characters in any way. It’s just a product of my imagination and should be treated as such.

This story is also on Wattpad: click here and AO3: click here

A/N: As any other writer out there, I would appreciate reblogs and your comments on this story. Please let me know if you enjoyed it, and most importantly, have fun!

---

Summary:

"Looking back on it, I should've noticed that I was falling way too fast, way too hard, and that this strong urge to have him flushed over me like a tsunami would only drown me. I wanted more. I should've known then how dangerous that was. I was oblivious that his kisses were poison. How couldn't I notice just by the euphoria they made me feel? I should've known it was too good to be true. But the sad thing is, even if I knew, it probably wouldn't have mattered. As long as it was him, I would've been happy to stay oblivious. I would've gladly drunk any poison. I should've known then that he wouldn't do the same for me. It was not poison that I was tasting on his kisses, but heartbreak. I should've wanted less." This book takes place in the Mafia Universe, where Chan is the young leader of one of the most powerful gangs out there, Stray Kids. Fate ties him and Emilia (or Shade, by alias) together - but will this encounter bring anything positive, or would it just bring pain to the both of them? We shall see in "The White Lily" - an angsty, suspenseful fanfic, the first story of many to come in the Mafia Series. Bang Chan Fanfiction

The story and cover edit are original and my property. Any similarities to other stories are purely coincidental. Emilia, the protagonist, is a made-up character. Stray Kids members or any other famous people mentioned along this story DO NOT represent their true character in any way, they are simply mentioned in order to provide a visual representation for the readers. Their personas obviously have nothing to do with their true personalities. They're just characters I've created for this story, so please don't take this too seriously.

Mature content ahead.

18+

---

Chapter 1 - Girl on a mission - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3

Chapter 2 - First meetings - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3

Chapter 3 - Borrowed time - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3

Chapter 4 - The party and the after party - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3

Chapter 5 - An eye for an eye - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3

Chapter 6 - Nightmareless - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3

Chapter 7 - SKZ, you're next - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3

Chapter 8 - The Overpass - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3

Chapter 9 - Paint it black - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3

Chapter 10 - Velvet glove around an iron fist - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3

Chapter 11 - Olive branch - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3

Chapter 12 - The White Lily - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3

Chapter 13 - Project Thrips - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3

Chapter 14 - Crimson Red - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3

Chapter 15 - I was never there - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3

Chapter 16 - Yours truly, Shade - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3 (FINAL CHAPTER)

Mafia Series Book #2 - The Black Iris and The Withered Rose

116 notes · View notes

skzhocomments · 3 months

Text

In the Dark - Choi Minho SHINee Fanfic - Story Masterlist

Pairing: Minho (of SHINee) x OC (name: Jieun)

Genre: non-idol AU, single dad trope, prostitution, angst, romance, fluff, mature

Word Count: ~60k

Warnings: mature, swearing, feelings of hopelessness, angst, depression, death, crying, explicit sexual content, and others.

This is just a story that doesn’t describe SHINee members' true characters in any way. It’s just a product of my imagination and should be treated as such.

This story is also on Wattpad (click here) and AO3 (click here)

A/N: As any other writer out there, I would appreciate reblogs and your comments on this story. Please let me know if you enjoyed it, and most importantly, have fun!

---

Summary:

inthedark.com A site that promises to fulfil each and every wild fantasy you've ever had in complete darkness and, most importantly, in complete anonymity. Privacy is ensured for all parties involved, be it customer or prostitute. So, how exactly would this site change the life trajectory of a single dad and a mere elementary school teacher? Read and find out in my SHINee Minho fanfic titled 'In the Dark'!

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The story and cover are original and my property. Any similarities to other stories are purely coincidental. Jieun, the protagonist, is a made-up character.

SHINee members or any other famous people mentioned along this story DO NOT represent their true character in any way, they are simply mentioned in order to provide a visual representation for the readers. Their personas obviously have nothing to do with their true personalities. They're just characters I've created for this story, so please don't take this too seriously.

Mature content ahead. Lots of trigger warnings apply, so please read carefully.

---

18+

©storminsidemycore

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Chapter 1 - inthedark.com - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3

Chapter 2 - Take my breath away - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3

Chapter 3 - Always tired, but never of you - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3

Chapter 4 - Uncanny resemblance - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3

Chapter 5 - Babysitter duty - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3

Chapter 6 - The wine talking - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3

Chapter 7 - When our lips touch - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3

Chapter 8 - Letting go - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3

Chapter 9 - The virus - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3

Chapter 10 - Falling apart - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3

Chapter 11 - All fell down - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3

Chapter 12 - Somewhere I belong - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3

Chapter 13 - A night to remember - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3

Chapter 14 - A family - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3

Chapter 15 - A happy forever (Final Chapter) - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3

---

Thank you so much for reading.

Hope you enjoyed it!

Love,

Storm

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Masterlist

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skzhocomments · 9 months

Text

The Black Iris and The Withered Rose (Mafia Book #2 - Lee Know // Bang Chan) - Story Masterlist (COMPLETED)

! MUST READ 'THE WHITE LILY' BEFORE READING THIS STORY !

---

Mafia Book #2 is divided in two parts:

PART I - THE BLACK IRIS PART II - THE WITHERED ROSE

---

Genre: MAFIA AU, angst, romance

Word Count:

Part I - The Black Iris - 33.7k words Part II - The Withered Rose - 31.3k words

Warnings: explicit mature content, mentions of death and other graphic scenes (it's a Mafia...), swearing, blood, anxiety etc.

This is just a story that doesn’t describe SKZ members’ true characters in any way. It’s just a product of my imagination and should be treated as such.

This story is also on Wattpad: click here and AO3: click here

A/N: As any other writer out there, I would appreciate reblogs and your comments on this story. Please let me know if you enjoyed it, and most importantly, have fun!

---

Summary

"Chan simply couldn't forgive himself for his stupid actions that brought Emilia's death one year ago, so he did what he knew best: he let his soul die as well, with her, and he focused solely on Stray Kids. He became the most heartless Mafia leader there was, not caring about anything else but building his empire to be able to protect the only people he cared about. He killed, killed, and killed anyone and anything mercilessly, unable to feel even the slightest bit of remorse He would do so with a straight face, for his soul was as vacant as an empty shell. The members knew this all too well, but no matter what they would say or do, it wouldn't matter. The Chan they all knew and loved was too far gone, only a ruthless monster that swore to protect them left in his place. With Chris being so unavailable emotionally, it all fell on Minho to pick up the pieces. After all, he was the next in command when it came to their Mafia."

Important! Disclaimer:

This story will be 18+ where lots of sensitive subjects will be mentioned and/or introduced in some form. None of these will be marked during the story! Should you decide to read, do so at your own discretion, and if something triggers you or makes you uncomfortable in any way, please stop reading immediately.

---

Mature content ahead.

18+

---

THE BLACK IRIS

Chapter 1 - Breathe in and jump - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3

Chapter 2 - Time Machine - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3

Chapter 3 - Tight-lipped - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3

Chapter 4 - Dissociation - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3

Chapter 5 - Iris' Apple Tree - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3

Chapter 6 - Revenge - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3

Chapter 7 - The Proposal - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3

Chapter 8 - The bad guy - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3

THE WITHERED ROSE

Chapter 1 - I'm a ruin - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3

Chapter 2 - A chance meeting - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3

Chapter 3 - Pure Morning - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3

Chapter 4 - Ghost from the past - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3

Chapter 5 - Bleeding hearts - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3

Chapter 6 - Quid pro quo - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3

Chapter 7 - Twisted Love - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3

Chapter 8 - A proper new beginning (FINAL CHAPTER) - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3

47 notes · View notes

skzhocomments · 1 year

Text

Masterlist

♥ ♥ ♥ Hello, Storm here! ♥ ♥ ♥

Welcome to my blog!

Here you can find my Stray Kids / SHINee Masterlist with original works. Please be respectul, reblog if you enjoyed reading my stories, like and interact. This keeps me posting.

I post on Tumblr, Wattpad and AO3.

Without further ado...

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SKZ Milano 2024 Concert gifs

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Genre:

Mature - M Angst - A Fluff - F

Type:

Series, Oneshot

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Stray Kids

Bang Chan

Oneshots

Clingy - A, F - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3 - Oneshot

One Night Stand - M - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3 - Oneshot

The Five Stages of Grief - A - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3 - Oneshot

Series

Hug me more - A, F, M - Only on Wattpad - Series (completed)

The White Lily - A, F, M - Mafia AU - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3 - Series (completed. See next: The Black Iris and The Withered Rose)

The Black Iris and The Withered Rose A, F, M - Mafia AU - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3 - Series (completed. See first: The White Lily)

Minho

Oneshots

Miss Y - A, F - non-idol AU - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3 - Oneshot

Break my back - A, F, M - non-idol AU - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3 - Oneshot

Careless mistakes - A, F, M - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3 - Oneshot

Series

The Black Iris and The Withered Rose A, F, M - Mafia AU - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3 - Series (completed. See first: The White Lily)

Hyunjin

Series

The Pearls on Your Neck A, F, M - non-idol AU

Changbin

Avoiding - A, F, M - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3 - Oneshot

Stargazer Lilies - A, F - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3 - Oneshot

Seungmin

Leaving what is broken - A, F, M - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3 - Oneshot

Jeongin

Leaving what is broken - A, F, M - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3 - Oneshot

My only Faith is you - A, F, M - Vampire AU - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3 - Oneshot

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SHINee

Minho

Broken hearts can heal - A, F, M - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3 - Series (completed)

I can read your smile - non-idol / University AU - A, F, M - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3 - Series (completed)

In the Dark - non-idol AU - A, F, M - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3 - Series (completed)

Taemin

Rencontre moi à Paris - A, M - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3 - Oneshot

The Boundless Sphere of Fate - non-idol AU - A, F, M - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3 - Series (completed)

JongTae

Star Dust - non-idol AU - A, F - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3 - Oneshot

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Thank you for reading. Don’t forget to reblog if you enjoyed!

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#masterlist #stray kids #shinee #stray kids masterlist #shinee masterlist #stay #shawol #stray kids imagines #skz scenarios #stray kids scenarios #shinee scenarios #shinee imagines

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skzhocomments · 5 months

Text

The Five Stages of Grief - Bang Chan Oneshot Fanfic

(And a second cover because I couldn't decide)

General Masterlist

Pairing: Bang Chan (Stray Kids) x OC/Reader (Story is written in 2nd person, no name is mentioned)

Genre: angst

Word Count: ~10k

Warnings: death, devastatingly sad, mentions of self-harm, suicidal thoughts. No comfort, although it does end in a positive note. Ending is hopeful if you squint.

This is just a story that doesn’t describe Bang Chan or other mentioned Stray Kids’ members true characters in any way. It’s just a product of my imagination and should be treated as such.

This story is also on Wattpad (click here) and AO3 (click here)

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A/N: As any other writer out there, I would appreciate reblogs and your comments on this story. Please let me know if you enjoyed it, and most importantly, have fun!

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The Five Stages of Grief

---

“Hey Channie!” You entered his studio with a smile plastered on your face, that soon enough turned into a frown when you noticed your boyfriend of almost 5 years hasn’t even acknowledged your presence.

He tended to do that a lot, especially when working on new comebacks. His whole focus was on that damn computer which you were sure by now was your life-sworn enemy. It’s hard having to compete with a screen to get your boyfriend’s attention, but such was life sometimes, and there was nothing you could do about it.

You knew the risks that came with dating an idol, you just didn’t know how much worse it could be if you were to date a workaholic, perfectionist idol.

This was Chan.

He spent hours and hours and hours cramped in his small studio, perfecting beats, arranging vocals, switching up different rhythms and trying to figure out what could work out and have the most success between his fans.

“Have you eaten?” You asked, kissing his cheek, and only then did he notice you’re there, and pulled out his headphones.

“Oh, hi. Didn’t see you come in.” Was all he said, his face scrunched in concentration. “Did you say something?”

“Just asked if you’ve had dinner yet.”

He must’ve, right? It was well past 11 pm, but one of his bad habits was working himself to death, and more often than not, he would skip meal times entirely simply because he wasn’t good at keeping track of time.

“I had a protein bar earlier.” He shrugged.

“Want me to order you something? Or even better, why don’t we both head home?” You asked with a smile, trying to be convincing enough for your boyfriend.

It usually worked.

He would normally laugh off your attempts to be nice and realise that you’re just trying to take care of him, and he would comply and go home with you for the night, then resume his work the next day.

Once you’d be home, he would crash immediately, proof of how tired he’d been and how much he’d ignored his body’s needs. His sheer determination was scary.

However, none of this happened tonight. He rolled his eyes and muttered a small “There she goes again.”

You played it off, though, realising he probably didn’t mean for you to hear that. Brave on his part, you thought, in such a small quiet studio.

“What is that supposed to mean?” You asked, your tone still friendly, as if you were joking with him.

What you didn’t expect was for him to turn his whole chair towards you, his expression angrier than you’ve ever seen him.

“You heard me. God, it’s so frustrating having you come here all the time bossing me around. Eat! Sleep! Stop working! Can’t you see I’m busy?!” He ranted, pointing towards his computer screen.

“Wow, sorry, Mr. Busy.” You chuckled, despite being slightly angry with his words.

He doesn’t mean them. You told yourself. This is another one of his bad habits: bursting out and speaking cruel words whenever he’s extremely stressed and has tight deadlines. It hadn’t happened often, only a handful of times in your years long relationship, but it hurt nonetheless whenever it did.

“And there you go mocking me.” He rolled his eyes at you. “It’s like you don’t even care about the work I’m doing.”

“It’s not that, Chan. You know how much I value your work, it’s just-”

“Yeah, bullshit.” He laughs. “If you would, you’d stop barging in here demanding things from me when you know I have stuff to do.”

“Hey, I know you had a tough couple of days with the comeback and all, but there’s no need for you to take it out on my like this.” You crossed your arms in front of your chest, this time feeling genuinely upset. It’s like he’s escalating it on purpose.

“No, it’s not just a tough couple of days. Don’t you get it? You do this shit all the time, and I’m frankly sick and tired of it. Can’t you just leave me be for once and stop being so controlling?”

“Controlling?” You asked, baffled. “How am I controlling, huh? By making sure you eat and sleep when you’re supposed to?”

“How do you even know what I’m supposed to do?! You always think you know best, but you never fucking consider any of my needs and wants.”

“Literally everything I do is fucking consider your needs, Chan.” You answered coldly.

“No. You’re just too deep in your head and can’t fucking figure out when to back down, so I’m telling you. Stop telling me what to do and leave me alone if I’m busy. God, I don’t need this shit.”

He mumbled the last sentence and put his headphones back in, turning his attention back to the screen.

Maybe you shouldn’t have done what you did next, but he hurt you, and you didn’t like the way your conversation apparently ended. You wanted to know what he meant, so you grabbed his headphones’ wire and pulled them out of his ears forcefully.

The way he turned to you and the look he threw you almost made your blood freeze, but you were far too upset to care about upsetting him anymore.

“What exactly don’t you need, huh? What is this shit, exactly?!” You gestured with your hands.

“You can’t fucking let it go, can you?” He laughed in a baffled way.

“No, unless you tell me what this shit is.”

“This. Us. Everything. I’m really fucking done with how overbearing you’re being. I was doing fine before I met you, and I sure as hell do just fine without you over my head every fucking minute of the day.”

“Oh, is that so?” You asked, expressionless.

He hurt you, but by his anger still present on his features, you realised it’s all pointless. You’re not going to see eye to eye tonight.

“Do you want to break up?” You let out, the words burning your tongue, and Chan’s eyes widen.

“What? No! Fuck, you twist my words.” He sighs, exasperated. “Just leave. Let’s talk about it tomorrow.”

When he doesn’t say anything else, you let out a shaky breath and watch him put his headphones back in.

“Oh, and this?” He starts, pointing to one end of the headphones. “Never do this shit again.”

You watch silently how he turns his chair to look back at the damn screen, without caring that you’re still there in the room.

The discussion is over.

“I see. Fine. I’ll go.” You let out, tears beginning to spill down your cheeks. He didn’t see them, and it felt like he didn’t even care that he’s made you cry.

You quietly made your way out of the room, your sight too blurry to see anything, and you headed home.

---

Denial

---

Chan’s eyes are beginning to sting painfully, and after rubbing them and checking the time, he figures out why.

It’s way over 5 AM when he decides to finally leave the studio, and although it’s still dark out, the streets are already starting to get filled with people hurrying to whatever painful morning shift they are scheduled for.

It takes him about 20 minutes to get back to your shared apartment, and when he does, nothing seems unusual at first.

The house is expectedly quiet, it being so early in the morning, and he already imagines how deep in sleep you must be by now.

He feels guilty for how he treated you, that he let the anger consume him once again, and he regrets it. He always regrets it when he lets stress get the better of him.

As he heads towards the bathroom to wash the harsh day off his skin, he starts thinking about how he could make it up to you. Should he buy you flowers and bring you breakfast in bed in 4 hours when you’ll most likely get up?

Although he hasn’t slept at all.

Should he take you out on a date after he’s well rested? There was this restaurant you mentioned a couple of times that you wanted to try, but he didn’t have enough time to take you there to eat yet, not with all the planned comebacks and the work that keeps piling up.

Maybe tomorrow is finally the day.

He finishes his shower and rubs his eyes again, and God, how tired he is, just as usual when he pulls out all-nighters. Everything seems ordinary, but as he opens the bedroom door, however, something is unusual.

You are not there.

Confused, he takes out his phone to check for any messages you might’ve sent him, but upon noticing there’s no new notifications, he throws the phone on the bed, screen down, defeated.

Did you really think he wants to break up? Did you finally have enough and left him?

He knows he treated you badly tonight, but he thought it’s just a small drop in an ocean of happiness. Arguments are unavoidable, unfortunately, and he can’t always be the perfectly composed man he’s striving to become.

Would you really leave after a couple of cruel words he didn’t even mean? He starts asking himself as he gets into bed. Surely you know how much he loves and needs you there for him. It was just a bad night, that’s all.

Maybe you just wanted some space, and decided to head to a friend, or to a hotel or something.

He thinks about calling you, but with how late it is – or rather, how early – he knows he’d just disturb you or any of your friends you would’ve gone to if he were to call.

He decides to go to sleep instead and figure it all out tomorrow morning, when his mind is clearer, and when you’ve both had enough time to cool down.

His head is pounding with pain as he opens his eyes and feels multiple pulsations against all sides of his skull.

This is the worst migraine he’s ever had, and he realises how right you were when trying to convince him to go to sleep early. He really needed more sleep.

He grabs his phone to check the time, and when he does, he sees it’s flooding with notifications. His manager called him about a dozen times, starting at 8 AM and continuing up until 15 minutes ago, and he has multiple missed calls and messages from all the members.

Ugh, it’s only 10.

Did I have a schedule I’ve forgotten about? He wonders, rubbing his eyes confused, but checking the date, he knows it’s his day off.

He decides to head to the bathroom and freshen up, while picking up his phone and dialling his manager’s number.

He reaches the bathroom and puts toothpaste on his brush, and by the time the phone rang two times, his manager picks up.

“Chan! Where are you?” He asks, his voice hurried. “Why haven’t you picked up?”

He begins lazily brushing his teeth and checks the date again, and sure enough, it’s his free day. There’s nothing in his schedule.

“Huh? What do you mean?” He asks, his voice still ridden with sleep, still tired from the lack of rest. “It’s my day off.”

“Are you at home?”

“Yes. Where else?”

“Good. That’s… okay. Have you talked to anyone yet?”

“No…? You’re acting weird. What’s going on?”

“Listen, Chan. Something… something bad happened. I need you to sit down for a moment, okay?”

“Okay...?” Chan nods absent-mindedly, continuing to brush his teeth, oblivious about what’s coming.

“Last night… God, I don’t even know how to break this to you, so I’ll just say it. Do note that the company will do its best to assist you and-”

“Cut to the chase. What’s wrong?” Chris asks, starting to get worried. He finishes brushing his teeth, and just as he prepares to put the toothbrush down, his manager’s next words make him drop it to the floor instead.

“Your girlfriend passed away last night. She was hit by a drunk driver on a crosswalk, and although an ambulance got there in less than 2 minutes, she was already… I’m sorry.”

The line falls silent as Chan tries to process what his manager just said. The only sound in the room is made by the toothbrush hitting the bathroom’s white floor tiles.

Chan heard wrong. There’s no other explanation.

“That can’t be.” He dismisses his manager completely. “She was just with me in the studio last night, and then she came-”

Home. But you weren’t home.

“She must’ve gone to a hotel or something.”

“Chan… I’m truly, truly sorry. As I said, we’re going to support you through this tough time with everything we’ve got.”

What tough time? Chan wants to ask but stays silent instead.

He picks the discarded toothbrush from the floor and throws it away. How careless he’s been, dropping it.

He wants to chuckle at his stupidity, and he can’t wait to tell you about it. You’re going to nag him again for being careless and dropping things. This is the 3rd toothbrush he’s changing this month.

“Oh, God! Again?” He can already picture you with an amused expression on your face, your arms crossed. “You’re always dropping stuff on the floor!”

The thought brings the ghost of a smile on his face, and he starts wondering again where you might be. Surely your manager is mistaken.

“Her parents tried getting in touch with you, but they said you didn’t pick up. You should give them a call.” His manager continues to say. “From what they’ve told us, the funeral will be held tomorrow morning. JYPE offered to pay for all expenses. Anyways, this must be too much information to swallow for now, so I’ll come pick you up in 20 minutes and we can go to the company together. The rest of the boys are already here.”

“Okay, see you in 20 minutes.” Chan replies, not really understanding what’s happening.

He ignores the countless missed calls and messages and opens his call history to dial your number instead.

It goes straight to voice mail.

“Hello! You’ve called… wait, am I doing this correctly?”You chuckled, asking him with an unsure look on your face.

“Yes. The beep-”

“Oh, right! Thanks for calling, please leave your message after the beep. Okay, bye~!” You cheerfully said, ending the recording with a small laugh.

“Are you going to keep it like that?” He asked amused.

“Why not? It’s straight to the point!”

“You left my voice in it, though.”

“Oh, does it bother you? I can record again if you want me to.”

“No, no need. I just – isn’t it a bit weird?” He chuckled. “You even forgot to say your name.”

“Whatever.” You waved a dismissive hand in the air. “If they called my number, they know who they’re calling.”

“Fair enough.” He laughed.

‘Hello! You’ve called… wait, am I doing this correctly?

Yes. The beep-

Oh, right! Thanks for calling, please leave your message after the beep. Okay, bye~!’

He chuckles absent-mindedly at the memory of him teaching you how to record a message redirecting your callers to leave a voice mail. You’ve never been good at technology.

“Hi, babe. Can you please call me? I need to talk to you.” He says, deciding to leave a message, even though he isn’t convinced that you’ll get to hear it. You usually forget to check your voice mail.

He tries calling again, just for good measure.

‘Hello! You’ve called… wait, am I doing this correctly?’

Yes. The beep-

Oh, right! Thanks for-‘

And again.

‘Hello! You’ve called… wait, am I doing this correctly’?

Yes. The beep-‘

And again.

‘Hello! You’ve called… wait, am I doing this correctly?’

Yes.’

‘Hello! You’ve called…’

‘Hello!’

He throws his phone on the bed exasperated. Why aren’t you picking up?

You didn’t even come home last night, why is your phone turned off?

Do you want to somehow punish him for being cruel and make him worry?

He shakes his head confused and begins changing his clothes from the comfortable pyjamas to an appropriate enough outfit to go to the company.

It should be a crime to have to go so early in the morning anywhere on your day off.

When he’s done and he looks somewhat presentable, he picks his phone back up and dials your number again.

‘Hello! You’ve called-’

He cancels the call just when he hears a knock on his door, and opening it, his manager is looking at him sombrely.

“Hi.” Chris speaks first, but his manager doesn’t say anything. He just pulls him into a hug that lasts way too long, Chan thinks.

“I’m so sorry for your loss.” He finally says after pulling away.

Chan doesn’t know what to reply, so he opts to just stay silent. His manager’s words don’t register in his head anyway; maybe he’s still tired.

He did go to sleep way too late.

They head to the car, and although the ride to the company only lasts 20 minutes or so, the 20 minutes feel like an eternity.

It’s just as his manager said, and everyone else is already at the company. When he sees the boys, they come rushing to him, their faces tear-stained and their clothes black.

“Oh, Chris…” Felix hugs him tightly and starts crying, and Chan starts comforting him by patting his back a few times.

A few tears escape past his eyes as well by seeing all the boys so gloomy, but he still doesn’t seem to be able to wrap his hand around it.

“Her parents said the wake is taking place at their house, so that’s where we’re headed now. I thought it’s better for you to not go alone.” His manager blurts out.

Chris looks dejected for a few seconds, before taking out his phone again and dialling the familiar number. This time, he types it himself. He knows it by heart.

With a shaky hand, he puts it against his ear and waits to connect.

‘Hello! You’ve called… wait, am I doing this correctly?

Yes. The beep-

Oh, right! Thanks for calling, please leave your message after the beep. Okay, bye~!’

It makes no sense.

You couldn’t possibly… have died.

You are so young. You have so many plans and so many things you still want to do.

He is supposed to apologize to you and pamper you the whole day just to make up to you for being an asshole last night. He is supposed to take you to that restaurant you’ve been bugging him about for weeks.

You can’t possibly be gone, just like that.

Your parents embrace Chris as soon as he steps through the door. They’re sobbing loudly, and there are so many people present – some, he recognises: old friends from middle school you’ve shown him pictures of, some other colleagues from university, some coworkers he had the pleasure of meeting at the last Christmas party held by your company, a few family members…

There are also many people he doesn’t recognise; people your age, and Chan gets reminded once again of how young you are, with your whole life ahead.

He shakes his head once he notices a coffin on the large table in your parents’ living room; the same table you’ve both ate at just two weeks ago when you’ve last visited.

“My baby, Chris is here to see you.” Your mother cries, approaching the coffin and pulling his hand to guide him towards it as well.

It’s closed shut, and on top of it, your picture stares at him with a happy smile. You are so beautiful; he’s always loved this picture of yours. He’s the one who took it, just after you’ve graduated Uni and he handed you a big bouquet of your favourite flowers, rose peonies. You said your eyes wrinkled in a weird way, and never liked it, but he absolutely adored it. It’s been his wall screen ever since.

The coffin is made of dark polished mahogany, and its lid is adorned with golden handles.

You can’t possibly be in there.

Although beautiful, how could such a small coffin hold the large essence of your soul?

It makes no sense whatsoever.

Your parents’ cries seem real enough, though.

He touches the top of the coffin and wonders why it’s closed. Why would it be closed, when you are so gorgeous? People should see you, not a simple picture.

He decides it must be because you’re simply not in it. Or if you are hiding in there, maybe it’s all a joke and you’re going to open it from the inside and yell Surprise!, shocking everyone in the room and making your mother faint. It’s something you’d do.

So, he waits.

He waits, and waits, and waits, and his feet grow tired and his back starts aching after so many hours on his feet. People come and go, paying respects, patting his shoulders and trying to make some small talk, talking about you in past tense.

“She was such a wonderful person.”

“She was so full of life.”

“Her laugh was so intoxicating.”

“Her work ethic was admirable.”

“She was so smart.”

He listens and nods to each of their words. They are right. You are a smart, wonderful person, you are full of life, your laugh is the best thing he’s ever heard. He’s wished more often than not to record it and put it in one of his tracks, but every time he’d mentioned it, you called him silly.

By the time your father brings him a chair and places it next to the coffin so he can sit down instead of standing, it’s already night out.

“You should get some rest, Chris. I’ll stay with her.” He tells him, placing his strong hand on Chan’s shoulder as to attract his attention, but Chan just shakes his head.

How could he go sleep when you might decide any time to wake up?

Would you panic, with the lid closed and all? You’ve always been claustrophobic. Why is it closed, anyway?

It’s already morning when one of your relatives approaches Chris and urges him to get out of the living room to change his clothes.

They’ve brought him a white suit at the request of your father; wedding attire, since you didn’t get the chance to get married before you passed.

He is reluctant to put on the white pants and uncomfortable suit jacket, but he does it anyway. Your mother cries when she sees him, and your father pats his shoulder and thanks him for doing this.

The priest comes, and a lot of your friends visit your home again, to lead you on your last journey, apparently.

It takes the priest about half an hour to finish praying for your soul, and then your coffin is loaded in the back of a hearse. The car moves slow enough for everyone to be able to follow, and Chris is walking right behind it, next to your parents. Felix is behind him with Lee Know and Changbin, and the rest of the boys are somewhere far back. He sticks out like a sore thumb, dressed in all white while everyone else is wearing black.

Each time the car passes next to important places in your life, the hearse stops and people throw coins on the ground. They pass by your kindergarten and your old school, and with each step, your mother cries harder. Your father tries his best to stay composed, but even he bursts into tears when your mother starts talking about your life and what a happy kid you were.

Chris doesn’t shed a tear. He follows the hearse blindly, and when it reaches the cemetery, he watches as his members take out the coffin and place it on the ground next to a large, freshly dug hole.

The priest begins a final prayer, and soon enough, he watches how the coffin disappears inside the hole. People start throwing soil and flowers. He doesn’t know how a couple of roses get in his hands, but he begins throwing them one by one on top of the coffin that keeps getting lowered down.

You’ve never liked roses that much. You like peonies. Why did someone hand him roses?

There is also some music – hymns, or the sorts. Something you wouldn’t like. He doesn’t like it either.

A few moments later, some people begin covering the coffin in dirt, and he watches the scene expressionless. It gets covered fairly quickly. People start crying even harder, and his ears start ringing.

He feels sick to his stomach, so he decides to take a few steps back as soon as the whole gets filled to the brim with the freshly dug soil.

“I can’t believe she’s truly gone. She was so young!” He hears a woman say from somewhere behind him. He doesn’t bother turning his head to check if he knows her or not.

“Right? We were talking just yesterday morning at work about going shopping this weekend.” Another woman replies in a quiet tone.

“They didn’t even open the casket.”

“How could they? Didn’t you hear how she passed?”

“No! What even happened?”

“She was apparently crossing the road and a car came out of nowhere, hitting her with more than 200 km/h. It threw her like 30 metres in the air.”

“Oh my God! I heard it was a car accident, but this…”

“Yeah! It’s insane. There was barely anything left of her… only shattered bones and flesh, nothing resembling a human.”

“Shh, what if someone hears you say that?!” The other woman tried to silence the first one.

After hearing these details, Chris feels even sicker.

He wants to throw up.

“Son, we are going to the reception now. Do you want to come with us in our car?” Your father approaches him, and Chris simply nods.

He hugs him for a few seconds, and then they wait for your mother to come, and the ride to the restaurant is filled with her sobs while your father and Chan remain expressionless.

He sits at a table next to your parents. Felix is on his left, and the rest of the boys and other members of JYPE are sitting nearby.

There is an empty space to his right, and in front of it, the table is full of your favourite foods, snacks and drinks.

His eyes are stuck on that empty seat.

“Wow, they really brought me a lot.” You chuckle, looking at Chris with your head supported by your right hand, your elbow against the table. “How am I supposed to eat all of this?”

He watches the scene stunned.

“What’s wrong, baby? Why the long face?” You ask, the smile on your face wider, raising a hand to caress his cheek.

The next time Chris blinks, you’re gone.

The seat is empty.

The boys insist that Chan comes with them to the dorms, or that at least some of them come home with him.

“It’s not good to be alone.” Hyunjin says sympathetically, and Chris simply shakes his head.

What if you come back home tired and want to rest, but the boys are there visiting? He asks himself. It wouldn’t be fair to you.

So, he goes home alone, after much bargaining with them that he needs some time on his own.

The silence that greets him once he opens the door to your shared apartment is deafening.

He first goes to the bedroom to check if you’re back yet, but the sheets stay as empty as when he woke up two days ago, so he pulls out his phone to dial your number again.

‘Hello! You’ve called… wait, am I doing this correctly?

Yes. The beep-

Oh, right! Thanks for calling, please leave your message after the beep. Okay, bye~!’

The beep sound follows soon after, and he begins talking.

“Babe, I know you’re mad at me. I was wrong. I’m sorry. It’s time to come back home now. Please?”

A second beep follows, signalling that the time to record his message is over, so he ends the call. He ignores the countless notifications piling up on his screen, all the Condolences messages he’s been receiving, and he places the phone in his pocket and starts making the bed.

“Wow, well done, Channie! I’m impressed!” He can almost hear you chuckling, and turns his head towards the door, fully expecting you to be there laughing at him and praising him for doing the bare minimum, but there’s no one there.

Once the bed is made, he heads towards the living room. A half empty glass of water is on the table, its margins stained by your lipstick, next to a plate full of breadcrumbs.

Tsk, how messy. He rolls his eyes, knowing exactly why you haven’t cleaned up. You must’ve eaten in a rush again, this bad habit of yours.

You’re always complaining about stomach aches, but you keep eating on the go while getting ready for work in the morning, and never enjoy your meals.

He takes a picture of the crime scene and opens his phone again, shooting you a text.

“Forgot to clean up?” He asks, then attaches the picture of the plate and glass.

He knows you’ll probably laugh and start excusing yourself once you see it. If he were to check his gallery, half the pictures are surely of the dirty plates you simply forget about on the table.

Chris always washes them, but never fails to remind you of it.

This time, too, he takes the plate and glass to the sink and turns on the hot water. He rubs the plate with a dish sponge with way too much dish soap on it, and he hears your voice in the back of his head again:

“My, Channie! You’re so wasteful! You only need a drop. A single drop!!! What are you using so much dish soap for???”

He starts laughing as he grabs the glass and throws the half-drunk water out, but before washing it, he notices the lipstick stains again. He smiles to himself and sets the glass aside, wiping it off with a napkin, careful to not accidentally remove the stain.

Your lips left such a pretty mark, he doesn’t want to part with it yet, even if you are going to give him an earful later for not washing the glass properly.

When there is nothing else to do around the house, he opens his laptop and starts sorting out his emails. All of their schedules for the month have been cancelled, and their upcoming comeback postponed indefinitely.

He doesn’t think it’s necessary, but at the end of the day, the company’s rules must be followed. You’ve complained about him working too much anyway. Maybe this is the chance for you two to spend a bit more time together.

All he has to do now is wait for you to come back.

He waits.

And waits.

And waits…

Felix visits with Jisung and Seungmin the next day.

And then the next, Jeongin comes with Changbin and Hyunjin.

Minho drops by every morning with enough food to last Chris the whole day.

His manager comes once a week and makes sure to call him daily.

Whenever he’s on the phone, he paces around the empty apartment and looks around. He sees the jewellery you left on the coffee table; your sports shoes are still on the doormat in front of the door, your face creams and serums stay untouched in the bathroom, your hairbrush lays by the sink filled with loose hair, and there’s a half-ironed shirt on the ironing table in the dressing.

You don’t like other people touching your stuff, so he leaves everything just like that, waiting for you to come back and fix it all.

The glass with your lipstick stain on it is still there on the counter, next to the sink.

He’s texted you about a dozen of times since he first messaged you about it and the plate that’s long been washed, but you haven’t replied to a single text. Your phone still goes directly to voicemail, but worst of all… no matter how much he’s waiting…

… you don’t come home, and the apartment stays empty.

‘Hello! You’ve called… wait, am I doing this correctly?

Yes. The beep-

Oh, right! Thanks for calling, please leave your message after the beep. Okay, bye~!’

‘Hello! You’ve called… wait, am I doing this correctly?

Yes. The beep-

Oh, right!’

‘Hello!’

---

Anger

---

It’s been more than a month, but Chris still sets the table for you each time he eats what Lee Know brings him.

He wouldn’t bother eating much, if Minho wouldn’t have insisted to tag along to practically every meal after he noticed that he’s barely touching the food.

He always places one more plate on the table, right in front of him, at your usual spot.

“Just in case she comes back and gets hungry.” He explains to Minho, but he’s had enough of this.

“Hyung…” Lee Know hesitates. “She… she’s not coming back. You know that, right?”

His tone is quiet, and he tries to approach the subject as gently as possible. However, it’s time for him to do something. You’ve died more than five weeks ago, but Chris hasn’t moved any of your belongings, not even to store them.

There’s a box of tampons on the kitchen counter, but he won’t even move that, for fuck’s sake. He keeps waiting for you to come home, as if he doesn’t realise the fact that you’ve passed away.

“No, she will.” Chris says firmly, daring Minho to challenge him more.

“Hyung… She… she died. She’s not coming back.”

“You’re wrong!” Chris shouts all of a sudden, hitting the table with his fist strong enough to make the tableware bounce. He knows Minho is right. After waiting for you for weeks on end without you coming back, after dialling your number about a million times, after sending countless texts with no reply from you… he knows. But…

“Chris…” Lee Know stares empathetically.

“You’re all wrong! She… she’s coming back, goddamit!” He shouts again, this time grabbing the table’s edges and flipping it. The empty plates fall to the ground and shatter in the process, and Minho’s pot spills on the carpet, staining it.

Chris tries to cling to the last bit of hope he has regarding you, but he knows you’re dead. Everyone else was right, and he was wrong. You’re really gone.

“I’m sorry, Hyung. You… you need some help…” Lee Know continues with a shake of his head, bending down to grab the broken pieces of glass.

When he’s done cleaning up the carpet and the floor to the best of his abilities, he takes one more look at Chan. He looks like a ticking bomb, ready to explode again any second now.

Lee Know doesn’t know if it would be good to give Chan space, or if he should insist again that he comes with him to the dorms.

He decides to ask him anyway, and to his surprise, Chris nods and packs a small bag with clothes and hangs it on his shoulder.

They made their way out to Lee Know’s car, and once they’re at the dorms, they say goodbye as each goes to their respective apartments. Chris used to live with 3RACHA and Hyunjin, so that’s where he’s headed.

The dorms are as messy as he remembers, but they bring him comfort nontheless. His old room brings him solace as well.

There are a few pictures or you on the small desk in his room, and he looks at them fondly. You’re smiling beautifully in all of them. It’s the you he remembers. You, at your first date; you, the first time he took you to an amusement park; you, when all your fingers were coated in chocolate after you attempted to bake him a cake.

It’s you.

God, how he misses you.

How dare you leave him alone?

How dare you?

Why didn’t you fucking look to the left before crossing the road? Even if the traffic light was green, you should’ve fucking looked.

You’ve always been careful to look, so why…?!

Watching the pictures no longer makes him happy. It makes him angry, and out of anger, he punches the wall behind the desk with all his strength.

It makes no sense, really, but the pain in his fist takes away from the pain in his heart, so he punches the wall again.

He decides to try and calm down after hitting the wall two more times, and he hops into his old bed, shutting his eyes tight and thinking about the night you died.

‘I’m really fucking done with how overbearing you’re being. I was doing fine before I met you, and I sure as hell do just fine without you over my head every fucking minute of the day.’

Those were some of the last words he’s said to you.

Since you’ve died a few blocks away from the JYPE building, it happened right after you left.

You died thinking he doesn’t love you.

You died thinking he doesn’t need you.

He does.

He needs you.

If only he’d gone home with you that night, as you asked him, you would’ve never died.

It’s his fault.

It’s his fault you’ve died.

He killed you.

He lashed out on you and blamed all his stress on your attempts to take care of him, and he killed you.

Fuck, it’s all his fault.

For the first time since the funeral, he bursts out in tears, and he is unable to stop. It’s like all of his repressed feelings for the past month and a half come biting him right in the ass.

It’s so hard to breathe. He’s getting suffocated.

He can’t.

He can’t breathe anymore.

You’re on top of him, suffocating him.

“You killed me.” You say, blood running down your face.

He can almost feel the drops hitting him, with your face so close to him.

“It’s your fault. “You knew what you were saying. You killed me.” You say again cruelly, and Chris shuts his eyes even tighter.

His cries soon turn to wails, and he’s being loud enough for Changbin to hear him and get alerted. He opens the door without knocking, and upon seeing Chris, his heart breaks.

He just goes to the bed and throws himself on top of Chris, as if to shelter him somehow from the intense grief he’s feeling.

When his cries quiet down, Changbin takes a look at his friend and sees his injuries.

“Holy fuck, your hand is bleeding. Are you okay?” He asks in panic, standing up quickly to grab the first aid kit to bandage his fist.

“It’s all my fucking fault!” Chris screams at the top of his lungs, and his destructive mood comes back. He stands up, wanting to destroy it all. Every damn picture, every fucking thing in this room.

He wants to set it on fire and let it it all to pieces, letting himself burn as well. It’s what he deserves for killing you.

Sure, the drunk driver that hit you was directly responsible for taking your life, but the way he acted that night… nothing would’ve happened if it weren’t for him.

He killed you.

Changbin sees right through his erratic behaviour and anticipates his moves, throwing himself once more at Chris, holding him tight and not letting him move, no matter how much Chris lashes out. He doesn’t let go until his friend calms down again, and even after he does, he decides to camp in the room with him and keep him company.

---

Bargaining

---

It’s been three months, and Chris still has some difficulties accepting that you’re truly gone.

He probably shouldn't be here so soon, but it’s like he has to make sure again that you’re… that you’re dead.

Your parents did a great job with your grave; your gravestone made of marble stands tall , centred right in front of the ground you’re buried deep within, and the intricate designs of sculpted vines and flowers reminds him of you.

Oh, right. Flowers.

Chris remembers he brought a bouquet of pink peonies with him. He’s been holding onto it tightly ever since he bought it and stepped in a taxi to come here, but as soon as he got to your grave, time stopped, he couldn’t breathe anymore, and he forgot about the flowers in his hands.

It’s not like you need any more; there are so many fresh flowers all over and around your grave. Your parents also planted lots on top of the soil above your coffin, decorating your rest place beautifully.

You’ve always said you wanted a garden, and now, you have one: your little space in the uncomfortably large cemetery at the edge of the city.

“My favourite flowers. Aren’t they pretty?” He swears he can hear your voice, and turning to his left side, his breath hitches in his throat, choking him.

There you are, holding the bouquet of pink peonies he bought with a large smile on your face, but just like last time, he blinks, and the bouquet is in his hands, as it’s been the whole time, and you’re nowhere in sight.

A tear rolls down Chan’s cheek. He wishes he would’ve bought you that house and garden you’ve been dreaming of, instead of the convenient apartment in the city centre.

He wishes he would’ve proposed, and that you’d build a little family together. After all, you were his solace in the midst of all the chaos of his life. The sole person bringing him purpose and comfort.

But now you’re gone.

He wishes he wouldn’t have always put his job first. Especially now, as his schedules stay empty due to the company fearing for his well-being, he realises how much free time he could’ve had if only – if only he’d listened to you.

He regrets all those late nights in the studio when he could’ve been home sleeping next to you.

He regrets every breakfast, lunch and dinner he’s missed because he was too busy with making a new song, learning a new dance, or preparing for a new comeback. Now, none of it matters. You’re gone.

He could’ve postponed all of them. He could’ve done so much differently, and he regrets it all.

You’re gone.

He places the peonies in a little vase near your gravestone, next to some daffodils someone must’ve brought you a few days ago.

Then, he raises his gaze and reads the inscription in the headstone’s marble. It’s your favourite poem by Clare Harner.

Good choice, he thinks, as he goes through the lines of Immortality and traces each engraved letter with his fingers.

‘Do not stand by my grave and weep

I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am the thousand winds that blow,

I am the diamond glints in snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain,

I am the gentle, autumn rain.

As you awake with morning's hush,

I am the swift, up-flinging rush

Of quiet birds in circling flight.

I am the day transcending night.

Do not stand by my grave, and cry--

I am not there, I did not die.’

You stopped reciting the poem and took a deep breath, looking expectantly at Chan.

“Isn’t this poem beautiful?” You asked him, your eyes sparkling.

“A bit morbid, but yes.” Chris chuckled as he placed the freshly made pasta dish in a large plate and served you dinner.

“Aww, thank you. Smells so good!” You grinned in delight, your eyes closing into crescents, as they always did whenever you smiled brightly.

He couldn’t help but press a quick chaste kiss against your lips before he sat down as well.

“So, pasta master, show me how it’s done.” You encouraged him, nudging his elbow and handing him your fork and spoon.

“Tsk, you’re so spoiled.” Chris tutted jokingly, but complied nonetheless and started twirling the pasta with the fork. Once it became an appropriate bite-sized portion, he raised the fork and supported it with the spoon as he brought the food to your mouth.

“Mmmm, so good!” You exclaimed with a few quick, excited small claps, as soon as you started feeling the flavours.

“Of course, what were you expecting?” Chris chuckled.

“Only the best from you.” She praised, petting his head fondly. “So, about the poem. Do you think it’s good enough for my presentation?”

“For Uni? Yeah, of course. Anything you’d pick is good enough, babe. You have your way with words, and you recited it very beautifully.”

“You think?” You beamed at his words, and he nodded. “Thank you, Channie. I really really like it, but I was afraid it wasn’t appropriate.”

“No, it is. You can use it.”

“If the lyrical genius says so, it must be true.” You stood up briefly and kissed his cheek, before returning to your seat and starting eating the pasta.

God, how many years ago was that?

Chris bursts out crying for the millionth time this month, and grabs the headstone with both his hands, feeling his knees grow weak.

On the brink of collapse, he uses your gravestone for support as he weeps louder.

“Can’t you come back?” He asks, his voice shaking. “Please. Please come back. Please. I… I promise I’ll do better, hm? I promise I’ll no longer stay as late in the studio, so please… please…”

The headstone can’t support him enough when his hands go weak as well, and he falls to his knees right in front of the poem.

“If only – If only I’d left with you that night. If only we hadn’t fought. God… please, please come back. We still have to make up.”

He cries for what feels like hours, and his body grows cold.

“Please… please…” He forces out again. “Come back… come back… we have so much we want to do… come back… I need… I need more time with you, please. Please.”

And he cries again.

And again.

And again, until he feels a hand on his shoulder a while later, and he turns his head around hopeful, thinking you might’ve somehow heard his pleas and returned to him.

His expression falls as he sees Seungmin looking concerned at him, and then he frowns even more noticing the pathetic way he looks in his eyes’ reflection.

Seungmin falls to the ground next to Chan, hugging his side tightly. Then, he helps him stand up and balance on his feet.

Chris is grateful for Stray Kids being there for him, but he just wishes… it would’ve been you standing next to him instead of Seungmin.

---

Depression

---

Chris has never experienced such an intense fatigue before. Every part of his body hurts, and it’s like his muscles are screaming at him each time he stands up. He is lethargic and looks haggard and in desperate need of rest, but rest doesn’t come by too easily as of late.

It’s 5AM and he’s in the studio again, but instead of doing anything productive, like finishing up that song he’s started working on two months ago that he keeps beating himself up for, he watches how beautiful you looked in the picture on his desk.

You used to be so full of life and so gorgeous. Your smile could make anyone happy, and your laugh – God, how much he misses your laugh.

He misses your voice.

Sometimes, he can’t even remember what it sounds like, and he thinks it’s absurd; it hasn’t been that long since you passed. Only about a year. He shouldn’t forget it so soon.

He grabs his phone and manually types the digits to your number. He still hasn’t forgotten it, and with how deep it’s been ingrained in his memory, he doesn’t think he ever will.

‘Hello! You’ve called… wait, am I doing this correctly?

Yes. The beep-

Oh, right! Thanks for calling, please leave your message after the beep. Okay, bye~!’

He hasn’t cried in some time while thinking of you, but now, he’s on the verge of tears again. You used to sound so carefree.

You used to be so happy.

He doesn’t know when he started referring to you in past tense, but as soon as the realisation hits him, he lets a couple of tears stain his cheeks.

Chris is tired. He hasn’t slept in… God knows how many days. He’s always had trouble sleeping, but nowadays, his insomnia has been getting worse and worse. His doctor prescribed him some pills that are supposed to help, but he can’t even be bothered to take them anymore. They don’t help him rest anyway. If he takes them, he wakes up confused, disoriented, and with an even worse headache.

His phone is still in his hand and his finger brushes over his screen. He didn’t have the heart to change his lockscreen picture. It’s still you.

He hasn’t seen you in what feels like years. The first few months when he’d been haunted by your ghost were tough, but now that he hasn’t seen any glimpse of you in months, day to day life is getting harder and harder to navigate.

You don’t even visit him in his dreams anymore, on the seldom nights he sleeps. If he takes the small white pills, he doesn’t dream of anything, and he so desperately wants to see you again, to touch you, that he refuses to take them. That’s the other reason he doesn’t.

Fuck, this is hard.

Are you supposed to feel so devastated after a whole year?

Back then, years passed by so quickly – it meant comeback after comeback, work, work and more work, and time with you was scarce but very appreciated. Time used to fly, and without him knowing how much time passed, you’ve celebrated your 5th anniversary. He was planning to propose to you soon. He was looking at rings, but then you…

Time doesn’t pass by as quickly anymore. This year stretched for so long, it felt like a decade instead of barely 12 months. With each passing month, it was like nothing was changing at all for Chris, but now, looking back, everything feels different.

He’s a completely different person than the one that was staying in the studio up until 5 AM last year, and he blames himself so, so much for his unchanging bad habits.

He blames himself for your death still. It’s his fault, and this thought only makes him more hopeless and more depressed.

He’s lost weight. A lot of it, to the point where the company had to have an ‘intervention’. Whereas last year his body was toned, his abs perfectly sculpted and his form admirable, he now looks like a ghost of himself.

If he eats, his stomach immediately starts hurting. He threw up 3 times this week alone.

Your death still has such a big emotional toll on him, and he’s tried it all. He went to therapy. He still goes four times a week at his company’s requests. He’s on medication that makes him groggy and unable to think, medication that shut down all his feelings – not just the negative ones. He is numb, and when he isn’t, he feels utterly devastated and lost.

What is he supposed to do now, without you?

How come a year has already passed without you by his side? He’s even contradicting himself. Sometimes he feels that the year passed by slowly, and sometimes he looks back and doesn’t understand how he was able to live a whole year without you.

He needs you.

Fuck, he needs you so much, he still can’t believe he even insinuated that horrible night that he didn’t.

Life no longer has any purpose, and everyone around him is growing more concerned by the day, as this once optimistic man has left together with you, leaving in his place only a pessimistic, desperate person.

He realised how badly he wants to die exactly 6 months ago, when your sudden disappearance finally started sinking in for real. When he stopped bargaining with God or with whatever cruel higher power there might be in the sky to let you come back, even if just for 10 minutes, for enough time for him to kiss and hug you and tell you how much he’s missing you.

6 months ago, he started decorating his thighs with unsightly marks, some of them faded, other fresh. He can’t do it anywhere else, no matter how much he’d wished to cut his wrists open, for fear of anyone else noticing.

So, he takes his despair out on his poor thighs, pressing the small blade against his skin until he feels something, anything. Until blood starts pouring down and the shower’s water pools down at his feet completely red.

He winces in pain every time he does it, but at least he feels something different than the numbness that grows bigger and bigger in his heart, consuming everything in its way. His whole soul feels absorbed by it, crushed under the pressure.

On the rare occasions he’s not numb, he feels the immense grief your absence left. He now knows that you’ve not only taught him how to love, but also how it is to lose what you love, and it hurts. It’s excruciating, and his heart is being ripped apart still, each and every time he thinks of you, and your absence is tearing him apart from the inside out.

He is physically sick. His headaches are worse than ever. He can’t sleep. He can’t eat. He can’t do anything anymore. He doesn’t want to, either.

The only thing he wants is to die, but even this wish feels selfish. He sees the way his friends look at him, how they’re walking on eggshells around him, to not somehow mention anything that could trigger a bigger depressive episode than what he’s already going through. He only pushes through it because of them, because he knows how it feels to lose someone you truly love, and he doesn’t want them to have to live with this black hole in their chests.

But… the loneliness he feels is simply merciless. It’s pouring down on him like unyielding unforgiving rain, not showing him any pity, and so he tries to fills his days with something that would make him forget about the gap in his soul.

The company let him come back to work a while ago, but they didn’t plan any comeback for Stray Kids for the time being, nor are they planning any for the near future. He’s grateful they’re giving him time, because he’s in no shape or form ready to do anything, not when he’s withdrawn himself so much from everything he used to love.

It’s difficult to compose any up-beat songs, or any song, for that matter. It used to come naturally for him, but not anymore. Changbin and Jisung are doing their best to support him and make up for his lack of concentration, but it feels like he’s not bringing anything to the table anymore.

He’s missed practice over and over again. The Kids meet up every two days to dance to their older songs, and as they don’t have anything new to work with, they even started learning the dances of other popular songs, or creating choreographies that would fit western music. Chan never went. He stopped dancing 12 months ago, and he hasn’t even stepped in the practice room since you died, not even once.

He hasn’t sung since you died either, and no one said anything about it. No one blamed him at all. Not even his company, who he was sure was going to fire him in the first 6 months after your death.

They said they trust him, and that they’re going to give him as much time as he needs to recover. They talk about him like he’s sick, but he’s not sick. They don’t seem to understand that.

He’s not sick, he’s just devastated, and he doesn’t think he’s ever going to be able to live again, to sing and dance on stage and to work hard, because this is no longer his dream.

He only dreams of death, and the thoughts of it are the only ones bringing him any solace. His therapist said he needs more time, and he quoted Lois Tonkin more times than he can count. He said that life will soon begin to grow bigger around grief, and that the intense sadness he’s feeling is just another expression of love for you. One that is permanent, but that will diminish as time passes and as he starts enjoying life again.

He doesn’t believe any of it, though.

How could he begin to enjoy life again, with you not there by his side?

---

Acceptance

---

He met someone.

For the first time in years, he felt genuine happiness again.

It took him one more year to start reengaging in some of his older hobbies and in his work. He started gradually going to the gym with Changbin and Lee Know, and eventually felt ready to start dancing and singing again. Another year later, he was ready to get back on stage and face all his fans, who’ve thankfully shown an unwavering support of his journey with grief.

He started feeling a bit better, and even though you were on his mind all the time, he was no longer dwelling on the pain of the loss of you. Your memory started bringing him more happiness, and he started looking fondly at all the sweet moments you’ve both shared together.

He started appreciating being able to have met you, to have lived 5 beautiful years next to you, and even though he still feels it is unfair that you’ve been taken away from him so cruelly and way too early, he no longer blames himself.

He still regrets the argument you had on the night you passed away, but he started slowly coming to terms with the fact that there was nothing he could do about it anymore, no way to take his words back. He started accepting that this is the one regret he’s going to have to take to his grave with him.

It took him one more year to start embracing life again, to start looking forward to his future with Stray Kids and to start actively making plans. He realised there was so much more he wanted to accomplish, and his dreams started coming back to him little by little, with the support of his friends and family.

He’s met her two years later.

When it happened, he was still not ready to give love a second chance. He thought it was way too soon, that he was disrespecting you by catching feelings for someone else. He felt like he was emotionally cheating on you.

He decided it’s time to join a support group at the recommendation of his friend, and he’s met a lot of people of all ages: some younger than him, some way older. The way they spoke about their former partners warmed up his heart, and they made him realise that loving again is not an affront to your memory. He can still keep loving you while loving someone else as well. He can still honour your memory.

He opened up to her, and he’s told her all about you. She wanted to know who you were, and she even visited your grave with him, holding his hand and talking to you at your gravestone. She told you she loves him and thanked you for being there for him while you were still alive, for giving him precious memories to hold onto.

She apologized for life being so unfair and taking you away from Chris so abruptly, and she assured you she’s going to take care of him to the best of her abilities.

She was really patient with him. She gave him as much time as he needed to come to terms with his feelings. He let him set the pace on what he was comfortable with doing. The first time they slept together was after more than one year of dating, but she didn’t mind waiting for as long as he felt necessary.

She loved him, and he loved her.

He proposed to her almost two years later, and they welcomed a child one year after their wedding.

He visited your grave on your 10th death anniversary with his son in his stroller, a baby boy he’s given your favourite name. You were still present in his thoughts, and his love for you never subsided.

He now simply has additional people to love and to grow old with, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t miss you still.

He decided to visit your grave again, even if walking has become a bit too difficult. Still, he manages the way from the car until your grave just fine, even if he has to support himself with a crane.

He is now old enough to be called ‘grandpa’, and not just as a joke between him and his friends. His hands are shaking, and his legs are a bit wobbly; his face is adorned with deep lines and creases, his forehead is wrinkly, and each fine line contributes to his now years-long life and experiences. The skin dropped around his cheeks, but every lady in the nursing home assures him he’s still a handsome man.

Your grave is no longer as tidy and beautifully adorned with fresh flowers. The soil has been overtaken by weeds and is in dear need of cleansing. He hasn’t visited in a while, unfortunately, his health issues making it a tad too hard, and with your parents long gone, there is no one else to take care of your resting place.

He makes a mental note to hire someone to clean it up and plant some flowers, but for the time being, he simply sets the bouquet of rose peonies in the small, chipped vase next to your headstone.

The inscription in the once immaculate marble is no longer as visible, but he doesn’t need to read it in order to recognise Immortality by Clare Harner. He still remembers the poem by heart, and also all sorts of other small, insignificant things, like your old phone number that’s been disconnected decades ago.

He looks at your smiling picture, the one he took when you’ve just graduated from university, and he realises as if for the first time how young you were.

He’s grown old; he has multiple wrinkles, his skin sagged everywhere, and his body went through each transformation it was supposed to when advancing in years.

But you?

You’ve stayed young. You’ve stayed beautiful, cheerful, smiling. Your face stayed clear of any creases.

You’ve remained just as he remembers you.

You are immortal.

“I’m sorry for not coming in a while.” He speaks with a soft smile on his face.

“That’s fine. You are probably very tired.”

He swears he could hear your voice. Maybe the poem is right, and the whispers of the wind transform in your saccharine voice he’s so dearly missed.

“I’m truly sorry for what I’ve said.” He continues, feeling the need to apologize again for his harsh words that night. No matter how many years have passed and how many time he’s already apologised, he’s never forgiven himself.

“But I’ve forgiven you long ago.” The wind whispers, and he closes his eyes and nods his head.

“I still love you. I’ve never stopped loving you. I hope you know that.”

“I know.” The sunlight caresses his back, warming him up as the wind strengthens. “And I’m waiting for you, whenever you’re ready to meet me, my love.”

~The End~

---

(A/N) Obligatory song: 11 minutes by Halsey and YUNGBLUD.

youtube

When my best friend showed me this song, I immediately fell in love with the concept of the music video, that’s based on the five stages of grief. I thought to myself that I simply must write a story like this, but of course, that was months ago and I’ve completely forgotten about it, as I usually do with most random ideas that come to mind that I don’t write down lol.

I couldn’t really sleep for the past few nights, so my mind kept brewing ideas and scenarios to keep me busy and hopefully lull me to sleep.

It didn’t work, because the five stages of grief came to mind and I knew I had to immediately write a story about it and not let the idea go this time, so I got out of bed at like 6:30 am and wrote and wrote on and off for a total of 13 hours, until this 10k words of pure despair have been created.

I hope you enjoyed it even though it probably sent you spiralling into depression. Thank you for reading nonetheless!

Love,

Storm

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skzhocomments · 1 month

Text

The Pearls On Your Neck (Hyunjin // Lee Know x OC)- Story Masterlist

This is a story I've written with my best friend @0rgell. Give her profile some love

Pairing: Lee Know / Hyunjin x OC (name: Pearl)

Genre: non-idol AU fake dating, arranged marriage

Word Count: ?

Warnings: mature, swearing, angst, anxiety, crying, explicit sexual content, and others.

This is just a story that doesn’t describe Stray Kids members' true characters in any way. It’s just a product of my imagination and should be treated as such.

This story is also on Wattpad (click here) and AO3 (click here)

A/N: As any other writer out there, I would appreciate reblogs and your comments on this story. Please let me know if you enjoyed it, and most importantly, have fun!

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Summary:

Pearls on Your Neck - an app developed to hire fake boyfriends for private events, or simply for the thrill of dating someone when you're feeling particularly lonely. Pearl is really happy to discover this app just when her parents arrange a marriage between her and her life-sworn enemy. Will this go anywhere, though? Or will she still be forced to marry Minho? Find out in "The Pearls on Your Neck"! The story and cover are original and my property. Any similarities to other stories are purely coincidental. Pearl, the protagonist, is a made-up character. Stray Kids members or any other famous people mentioned along this story DO NOT represent their true character in any way, they are simply mentioned in order to provide a visual representation for the readers. Their personas obviously have nothing to do with their true personalities. They're just characters I've created for this story, so please don't take this too seriously. Mature content ahead. Lots of trigger warnings apply, so please read carefully. 18+ ©storminsidemycore ©Orgell

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Part One - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3

Part Two - Tumblr + Wattpad + AO3

Part Three (coming soon)

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Thank you so much for reading.

Hope you enjoyed it!

Love,

Storm + Orgel

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Masterlist (Storm)

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Star Dust - JongTae Oneshot

General Masterlist

Pairing: Taemin x Jonghyun

Genre: non-idol AU, star tear disease, angst, unrequited love, romance

Word Count: ~6k

Warnings: swearing, angst, lots of crying

This is just a story that doesn’t describe any of the mentioned SHINee's members' true character in any way. It’s just a product of my imagination and should be treated as such.

This story is also on Wattpad (click here) and AO3 (click here)

Summary

Inspired by the Star Tear Disease - An illness born from subjects of unrequited (of a feeling, especially love not returned or rewarded), where the subject cries out stars. This story started as a challenge given to me by my dearest friend @0rgell, who gave me the following words that I must use in the story: Lollygag, Toast, Star tear disease, Execution, Spit , Blood clot, Butt plug, Train station. If you see random words bolded and underlined, it's so that I could keep track. I would also like to use this fic to wish @0rgell one year of the most beautiful friendship one could ask for. Love you to the moon and back <3

A/N: As any other writer out there, I would appreciate reblogs and your comments on this story. Please let me know if you enjoyed it, and most importantly, have fun!

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Star Dust

It was bad.

Extremely bad.

Fuck, terrible, even.

Taemin should’ve known something was wrong from the very first night it happened to him. However, he’s never heard about this before, and when it happened, it left him utterly confused.

His eyes started burning, and it was unlike anything he’s ever felt before. The burning only intensified as his heart clenched and broke into pieces at the sight of him with a pretty girl on his lap, his lips lazily caressing her neck so openly, in front of everyone.

Jonghyun wasn’t even drunk. There were alcoholic drinks on the table in the cramped karaoke room, but Taemin knew for a fact that he didn’t drink any of them, not even a sip. He was driving tonight, and if there was one thing Jonghyun was, it was responsible.

If he were drunk, it would’ve been easier to accept, maybe, that Jonghyun seemed to only have eyes for everyone but him. Maybe in a drunken haze, Jonghyun thought the girl’s eyes were pretty, and he decided to have some fun with her tonight and forget about her the next morning. He’s done it time and time again, Taemin heard, but it was the first time it was happening in front of his eyes, and it stung.

But Jonghyun wasn’t drunk.

He was into this girl for real, he wasn’t in any drunken state to make him irrational. He liked this girl enough to let her straddle him in the middle of the fucking karaoke room.

The burning intensified.

Although hurt, Taemin tried his hardest to keep his tears from flowing. He smiled and sang along and even danced with everyone to all the happy songs in the karaoke machine. He focused on the lyrics on the screen and held his microphone tight, he sipped on mocktails, and occasionally, he’d nervously rub his thighs with his hands just to focus on something else but Jonghyun.

Despite the age gap between Taemin and the rest, he didn’t feel out of place, even if he was the youngest and they were sometimes treating him like a little kid that needed to be doted on. Jonghyun treated him the same way.

Maybe that was the problem. Jonghyun never saw him as a man, he’s only ever seen the cute, innocent, young Taemin who needs protecting from the big scary world. Jjong was more than willing to offer that protection, but not in the way Taemin wanted it. He assumed the ‘big brother’ role and rolled around with it while Taemin’s feelings grew and grew, to the point where it became painful to be around Jonghyun without clinging to him.

That night, Taemin kept swallowing back his tears, but the burning in his eyes just kept getting worse. He started rubbing them repeatedly, but it would do nothing to ease the discomfort he was feeling.

Eventually, he decided to go home early, made up a pointless excuse no one would remember and headed straight to the door.

“Taem.” Jonghyun called to him, making him turn his head around. Fuck, he hated this. He hoped he could get out without having to see that girl straddling him again, but it appears Jjong unintentionally wanted to remind him one more time that his lap would never be Taemin’s place.

“Yeah?”

“Need me to drive you?”

Yes.

“No.”

“Let us know you’re home safe, then. Mkay?”

“Sure thing.” Taemin faked a smile and got out quickly.

Fuck, he was barely able to see. His eyes hurt, and everything was blurry. The lights hurt him. He rushed home, and he didn’t even know how he got there with how little he was able to see.

Going to the bathroom, he looked in the mirror and almost had a heart attack. His eyes were blood shot; it looked like all his veins in them popped open. Shit, it was scary.

He started googling out symptoms, but nothing checked out. He didn’t think he was allergic to anything he drank tonight; his eyes weren’t necessarily dry, and he didn’t have any allergies or infections (that he was aware of, anyway), so… why was he looking so horrible?

Maybe he was under too much stress. He did have a hard time at Uni lately, and even if his older friends assured him that it’s normal to be stressed in your last year and that everything would be okay, he kept thinking that maybe they were wrong. Maybe he was that one-off case you read about in the news - the young man who gets so stressed, he has a heart attack. He did smoke a bit too much lately, and smoking is a risk factor for the development of blood clots, if he remembers right.

Fuck, maybe he’s dying.

He was trying his hardest to remember how he got in this state. He met Jjong and the rest, they went to karaoke, then Minho called up some girls who turned up, and then that one brunette got on Jonghyun’s lap and-

Ouch. He pressed his hand on his heart and felt his eyes burning up again.

Right.

He started feeling this way when he noticed how much Jonghyun seemed to enjoy that girl’s company, how into her kisses he was, how he couldn’t seem to get enough, so he pressed her against his crotch right there in front of him, how-

Taemin couldn’t think about it anymore; the burning got so intense, he started blinking repeatedly and rubbing his eyes. It was so weird. He wanted to cry, to let it all go and feel his emotions just as he’d always do, but something was wrong this time, for instead of tears, a single, pale green star-shaped thing fell from his left eye.

He managed to catch it before it went down the sink’s drain, and confused, he started inspecting the little thing.

Sure enough, it was a star. A slightly greenish star with five corners.

Bewildered, he tried to touch it with his fingers, but as soon as he did, the small star shattered with a crystalline sound right on his palm.

He looked back in the mirror, and as if by miracle, his eyes returned to their normal colour. They were no longer blood shot and irritated; it was as if he'd imagined the whole thing.

The next day, Taemin went to Uni feeling more confused than ever. He’s asked around to see if he’s able to find anything about his condition, as Google didn’t prove to be too useful in his quest. He even went to the infirmary to ask the nurse if she’d ever heard of this before, but she just shrugged and told him to stop taking drugs while it’s still early enough, and that she can help him if he’ll let her.

But hell, he was not high. He didn’t take any drugs. Not willingly, anyway.

Maybe there was something in his drink?

Yeah, that’s the only logical explanation.

Maybe he did dream about everything.

After all, who’s ever heard of crying stars?

“Taeminnie!” Jonghyun exclaimed. “Thank God I’m here early. I came to get you. Would’ve missed you if I came by 10 minutes too late. Why aren’t you answering your phone?”

“Jjong?” Taemin looked perplexed.

“Did you hit your head?” He ruffled the younger’s hair lovingly, then grabbed the straps of his backpack and forced him to take it off his back. Taemin complied.

“No, I didn’t.” He rearranged his hair while Jonghyun put the backpack on his own shoulder. “But why are you here?”

“Well, for starters, you didn’t message me last night.”

“My phone ran out.” He shrugged.

“And you’re not picking up today.”

“Left it on silent and I didn’t see you calling.”

“You little liar.” Jonghyun ruffled his hair again. “You’re lucky you’re cute.”

Taemin blushed and turned his head away.

“Did you have fun last night?” He asked, but as soon as the words came out of his mouth, he regretted it.

He didn’t want to know.

“Oh, yeah. I went to Amber’s after dropping everyone else home, had a few drinks, had some fun with her. You know, just the usual.”

“Mhm.” Taemin nodded, swallowing back the lump in his throat. His eyes started to burn again, similarly to last night.

What if it wasn’t a dream after all?

“But enough about me! I want to know how you’re doing. Feels like we haven’t talked in ages!”

“Well, you’re always busy.” Taemin shrugged.

“Don’t be upset, Taeminnie. I made time for you today, haven’t I?”

“Where are we going, anyway?” Taemin stopped in front of Jonghyun’s car, confused by his friend's demeanour.

“Well, since it’s Friday, I thought I’d do you a favour and get you out of the house more.”

“I’m always out of the house with you and the others, though.” Taemin retorted.

“Yeah, but that’s no fun, is it? I meant just the two of us.”

Taemin blushed, and he felt the burning in his eyes suddenly stop.

They hopped in the car and Jonghyun clicked on his playlist, familiar tunes filling the empty space in-between their chats and their laughter.

“The beach?” Taemin asked with a raise of his brow when he looked out the window and saw seagulls.

“Yeah. You told me you haven’t been in years, so I decided, heck, I don’t have any work today, so why the hell not? Good idea, right?”

Taemin scoffed and laughed briefly as they finally reached a parking place.

“Well, I’m glad to be here, but I’m also starving.”

“Of course, I thought about that as well, who do you think I am?” Jonghyun rolled his eyes and opened the trunk, taking out a picnic basket.

“Jjong, it’s freezing. Are we having a picnic?” Taemin laughed enthusiastically and clapped briefly.

“I know the taste of my food will overwhelm all the other senses. Besides, there’s blankets for us, and I even got two coats, just in case.”

Yeah, that’s why Taemin fell in love with Jonghyun in the first place. His attention to detail, to whatever Taemin talks about; he remembers everything, even the small details, and he’s so damn attentive. It’s impossible to not fall in love with such a man.

Even if he doesn’t feel the same.

The burning came back with this thought, but Taemin was quick to shake it away as soon as Jonghyun linked their arms, dragging him towards the beach.

“Now it’s time to take your shoes off.” Jonghyun commanded and pointed to Taemin’s feet while he took his own shoes off himself.

“Jjong, it’s freezing.”

“Taem, we’re at the beach. You don’t walk on fine sand with shoes on, that would be such a waste.”

“Fine. But if I’m catching a cold, you have to nurse me back to health.”

“Not like I have a choice. You’re always soooo clingy when you’re sick!” Jonghyun ruffled his hair lovingly.

“Ugh, stop treating me like a child. You’re only 3 years older!” Taemin stuck his tongue out, when Jonghyun quickly grabbed it with his hands.

After some struggle, Taemin managed to get his tongue back in his mouth and made a disgusted face.

“You didn’t even wash your hands!”

“You’ll live. Now, let’s set the table and eat!” Jjong clapped once excitedly and started arranging the blanket on the sand, putting the basket on one of the corners, and dividing their shoes on the other 3 to prevent the blanket from flying away from the wind.

“This looks amazing. When did you even have time to cook this?”

“Well, your birthday is coming soon, so I thought-”

“My birthday?” Taemin laughed. “We’re only in February.”

“Eh, what’s a few months?” Jonghyun waved his hand in the air.

“Your birthday is sooner. Only two months.”

“Then we’re celebrating my birthday. Try this!” He quickly grabbed a tempura shrimp and put it directly in Taemin’s mouth, and the younger chewed it with a smile.

“Wow, this is actually really good!”

“Well, what else did you expect?!”

“You’re the best.” Taemin chuckled.

“I know I am.”

“Your head will grow too big from the praise.” Taemin shook his head.

“Look who’s talking. You adore praise.” Jonghyun retorted with a roll of his eyes.

“No, I don’t.”

“Yes, you do. Wanna bet I can make you blush just by praising you?”

“No.” Taemin laughed briefly and tried to focus on the food, but Jonghyun didn’t want to drop it.

“Come on. You’re doing so great, swallowing food like that. Good job, Taeminnie. Should I give you some toast for being such a good boy?”

“Oh, shut it.” Taemin laughed and playfully slapped Jonghyun’s thigh, trying to hide the blush creeping on his cheeks.

Damn, he really was a praise princess.

“The wind is really picking up.” Jonghyun remarked as one of their napkins flew away.

“Yeah. You made sure to have everything prepared but forgot to check the weather.” Taemin laughed, and just then, some sand blew into his mouth. “Ewww!” He tried to spit it all out, unsuccessful, all the while Jonghyun kept laughing at him.

“If you’re done eating, we should go stick our feet in the sea! Walk along the shore, you know the drill.”

“Jjong, it’s freezing.”

“It’s the third time you’ve said that today.”

“And I’ll keep saying it. We’ll definitely catch a cold.”

“Come on, don’t be so negative. We won’t catch a cold. Let’s go!”

“No. You can’t make me stand up.” Taemin shook his head, but Jonghyun would not take no for an answer, so he bent down and picked the younger by his legs, dragging him away from the blanket through the sand.

When Taemin stood up to protest, Jonghyun took advantage and picked him from his waist, placing him right on his shoulder and running away towards the sea.

“You’re fucking crazy!” Taemin shouted with a laugh. Truth is, this is another part of Jjong that made him love him. He was so persuasive, and always found a way to get what he wants. His personality clashed perfectly with Taemin’s, and every time they’d meet, just the two of them, it was impossible for them to not pointlessly fight about something.

Taemin liked it, for it made everything funnier, and time spent with Jjong was always entertaining.

If someone else were to pick him up like that, Taemin would’ve exploded in anger, but with Jjong, everything was different.

“They say birds of a feather fly together, so I guess that means both of us are crazy.” Jonghyun put him down with his feet right in the water, and Taemin grimaced.

“It’s so fucking cold, I’ll die of hypothermia.”

“You’ll die of drama.”

“Better come to my funeral and apologise when that happens.”

“Will do, Taem. I’ll be on my knees begging for your forgiveness for forcing you to stay with your feet in the water.”

“Freezing cold water.” Taemin corrected.

“Come on, it’s getting warmer by the minute.”

“You’re just getting used to it.”

“And aren’t you?”

“Yeah, I guess so.” Taemin chuckled.

“Then, what if I splash you?”

“Jjong, for the millionth time, it’s freezing. Splashing me with water would be the same as taking me to the electric chair for my execution. I’ll genuinely catch a cold.”

“Just pop an ibuprofen and drink some tea and you’ll be fine~!”

“You’re so carefree, aren’t you?”

“Of course! You know I enjoy my life to the fullest!”

“I’m-”

“Let me guess! Freezing!” Jjong started to laugh. “Okay, you win. Let’s get out, Taem.”

They made their way back to their picnic blanket and Taemin looked down at his wet feet that collected sand on the way from the sea to their little space on the beach. He hated the feeling on his feet, but Jonghyun came once again prepared, and pulled out a large water bottle and a towel so they can remove the extra sand stuck on their skin.

“It’s already getting late.” Taemin observed. “Should we go back home?”

“Home?! No way, Taem, you’re stuck with me for the whole weekend!”

“What?!” Taemin gasped. “But Jjong, what about my homework and-”

“Boring~!”

“You little-” Taemin narrowed his eyes and jumped on Jonghyun, starting to tickle him. The older squirmed and begged to be spared, but Taemin wouldn’t have it.

“Okay, okay! Sorry! I just wanted to spend some quality time with my best friend! Sue me!” Jonghyun eventually managed to get out, breathless by the whole ordeal. He was holding his hands on his belly protectively and feared any unexpected movement from Taemin.

“Okay. Let’s say I do ignore all my responsibilities for the weekend to spend time with you. Where do we sleep?”

“I booked a room at an inn somewhere around here.”

“Good, let’s go and rest, I’m tired as fuck.”

The duo headed towards the inn and got to their room in no time. They kept talking about nothing important for a few hours, before finally taking out two futons out of the closet and arranging them neatly on the floor.

“This is quite comfortable, isn’t it?” Jonghyun asked, taking in a deep breath.

“Yeah. It’s really warm.”

“Ahh, I love this place.”

“Have you been here before?”

“Oh, yeah.” Jonghyun chuckled. “With one of my exes. We came here on her birthday a while ago. Honeymoon periods are the best.”

Taemin hummed, but as soon as he heard Jonghyun, he got that weird sensation in his eyes again.

“She was a really nice girl, but we didn’t really work out.”

“Why not?” Taemin asked, although he wasn’t sure he really wanted to know, because with every word coming out of Jonghyun’s mouth, it seemed the pain in his eyes only intensified.

“Well, we wanted different things from life. She wanted to get married and start a family as soon as possible, whereas I…” He hesitated.

“You wanted to live your life first.” Taemin turned to his side to face Jonghyun, even though it was dark, and they couldn’t see each other.

Of course, Taemin knew this fact about his friend all too well. He knew how much he loved the sea, for instance, and how suffocating the big city they lived in could feel at times. He knew Jonghyun would stop at nothing to see what else was out there. He’d head into the big scary world with no hesitation if it meant expanding his horizons.

JJong has always been that type of person who would without a doubt go to the train station and buy the next ticket to nowhere. If given the chance to have some days off work, he’d hop on a train and sit in a window seat, admiring all the sights their little country had to offer: fields, mountains, rivers, sheep, cows… he wanted to enjoy the wide world his own way, by observing and breathing in some fresh air.

It was one of the many reasons that made Taemin fall in love with him. They were so different in this aspect. Taemin preferred comfort; he hated going out of his bubble and trying new things. If he could, he would only go to the same restaurant to have the same meal on the same day of the week for the rest of his life. He knew which buses and trains he had to take to get to the same familiar places, and if he would never have to get out of his mundane day-to-day life, he wouldn’t mind it.

When Jonghyun came along, he challenged Taemin’s whole world. He challenged him to be different, to step out of his comfort zone and experience new things, which was so scary at first, but with each passing day of Jonghyun pushing him around, he started enjoying experimenting.

From new foods to new places, to new museums, to new parks, and even to new people, Jonghyun made it his mission to force Taemin to go out and explore the world around him.

To both of their surprises, it worked. Taemin was more sociable now, and he discovered he appreciated new things as long as Jonghyun was next to him.

That’s how it started, and that’s how he realised his growing feelings for his best friend.

And now, in the warmth of his futon, Taemin couldn’t help but wonder why Jonghyun seemed to have feelings for everyone but him.

“Yes, exactly! She was perfect otherwise. We had great chemistry, she was a looker, smart, funny. Ugh, life is so unfair!” He chuckled, but Taemin could barely focus on his words.

Ugh, this hurts. He rubbed his eyes, and just as Jonghyun started talking again, seemingly surprised that Taemin knew him so well, he excused himself to the bathroom.

Looking in the small mirror, the same redness as last night was present in his eyes. He couldn’t wrap his head around it.

If he was unsure of anything last night, he was absolutely certain now that he didn’t have any allergy, dust didn’t get into his eyes—or was it the sand? No, it couldn’t have been—and there was simply no logical explanation.

He was hurt because Jonghyun happened to come to this inn with another girl, and he truly loved her, enough to remember her God knows how many years later.

Ugh.

He started crying again, and just as last night, no tears came out. There was only a twinkle sound, and a couple of green stars, and once he looked back in the mirror, his eyes were back to normal.

He didn’t bother catching the stars this time; he just let them fall in the sink and shatter. He couldn’t understand it. It made no sense.

And why green?

Out of all colours, why were his stars green?

It almost seemed like, because he was jealous…

No, this couldn’t be it.

He returned to the room and tried to brush the thoughts off, but still, he was unable to shut it down.

“Jjong, do you believe that colours have meanings?” He asked all of a sudden, interrupting his friend. He didn’t hear what he was saying anyway.

“Huh? Colours?”

“Yeah. You know, like… emotions. Red is anger, blue is sadness, green is envy…”

“Oh.” Jonghyun chuckled. “I don’t know. I mean, yeah, colours do make me feel something, but… I prefer to focus on the positive meanings instead. Red is love, blue is calmness, green is nature… you know?”

“Tsk, always such an optimist.” Taemin muttered.

“Why did you ask?”

“I don’t know, I just… I was thinking about it.” Taemin smiled sadly and was glad that his friend wasn’t able to see him in the dark.

It would add up. Last night, he felt jealous seeing that girl in his lap, and today, he felt jealous again as soon as Jjong mentioned his ex.

He cried star-shaped tears of jealousy.

But why?

“Why are we here again?” Taemin asked, embarrassed.

“To buy a butt plug, of course.” Kibum grinned from ear to ear.

“This is a very weird bonding activity.” Jinki commented, but curiously picked up multiple items from the shelf and analysed them. “Look, this one has a rhinestone in it!”

“I feel like this trip will unlock a new fantasy for Jinki.” Key chuckled, and all the boys started laughing.

They were trying to pick up a gift for Jonghyun, whose birthday was approaching way too quickly, and although all of them prepared some ‘serious’ gifts, like new books or a new vinyl for his pick-up, Kibum suggested buying something else as well — something he would remember.

Thus, the 4 boys were now in a sex shop, browsing through different types of toys, plugs, condoms and whatnot, and Taemin had no idea why he had to be there in the first place. Key could’ve just picked alone.

“What about this one? It has a little reptile tail. It kinds looks like a dinosaur when you squint.”

“Uhm… does it matter what it is? Will he even use it?” Minho chuckled, and Key rolled his eyes.

“Come on, he’s the type who’d definitely experiment with taking things up his ass.”

“Ï don’t know. He’s not you.” Minho said with a snicker.

“Yo, lamppost, I think I’m gonna shove this up your-”

“Okay, okay!” Jinki got between them and pushed them aside. “Let’s just get the rhinestone one.”

“Hyung, you can get it for yourself if you like it that much,” Taemin commented so quietly, it almost came out as a whisper.

“Should I?” Jinki looked at the little box with a lot of concentration in his gaze. “Then, do we get a matching one for Jjong?”

“Why, are you guys fucking?” Minho asked, and Taemin’s heart dropped. Were they?

“God, no. He’s just my friend. I was just saying.”

“Let’s go with the reptile one.” Taemin butted in, trying to change the subject as quickly as possible.

“That’s what I’m saying! Good choice, Taeminnie!” Key ruffled his hair, annoying him. He was once again treating him like a baby.

“Wow, this is certainly… unexpected.” Jonghyun laughed loudly as soon as he tore open the cute pink packaging and saw the small box.

“Taemin picked it for you!” Key grinned, and Taemin immediately wanted to disappear.

“We all went to the shop!” He protested, trying to avert his gaze away from Jonghyun’s.

It didn’t work, for when he raised his eyes again, Jjong was still looking at him with a determined gaze, as if challenging him again.

“What?” Taemin asked, embarrassed.

“Nothing. It’s cute.” Jonghyun smirked, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Why a dinosaur, though?”

“Well, we always say you look like one, so…”

“I like how many shades of green it has. Quite interesting.” Jjong held the buttplug in the air, examining it under the light of the bulb above, and Taemin immediately frowned.

How many shades of green did Jjong see, exactly?

Taemin barely saw one, and even that looked dull.

“It’s so vibrant, too.” Jjong went further, and all the boys around the table nodded in approval.

What…? Taemin shot up and snatched the plug from Jonghyun’s hands.

“What’s wrong?” Jinki asked, concerned.

“N-nothing. Hey, gotta go. Sorry!” Taemin threw the plug on the table and practically ran out the door, not even hearing the 4 boys shouting after him.

He ran and ran and ran until he got home, and once he did, he opened his computer and typed in the word green in the search bar.

It was like his mind was playing tricks on him, as he certainly didn’t remember colours looking so dull and lifeless.

He typed in pink and was met with the familiar vibrance of colour, which made him more confused than ever. Once again, he typed in green.

Dull. Faded.

But why?

Why didn’t it look as it should?

Why?

Weeks have passed and with them, the finals were creeping in faster.

There was a lot of studying Taemin had to do, which inevitably meant less time spent with his friends.

Less time spent with Jjong.

Taemin didn’t notice the weeks passing by, as there was just so much to do. What he did notice, though, was that green was no longer that green.

His sight didn’t return to normal, and he still couldn’t understand why.

He was certain it was because of Jjong, because he was now also experiencing the same symptoms with the colour blue, after noticing that this separation was only difficult for him, as Jonghyun didn’t seem to miss him too much.

Taemin cried pale-blue stars every time Jonghyun took too long to reply to his messages.

Blue. Just like his feelings.

It hurt, but what was there to do? Jonghyun didn’t feel the same.

This thought alone made his vision blurry again, all the symptoms of the Star tear disease starting to reappear instantly.

He couldn’t cry again, not when he had so much to study. He had to think about something else.

Fuck, his eyes stung. Again.

Soon enough a few blue stars followed with a twinkle sound as they shattered against his desk.

He was crying stars again, the blue shade way deeper now, and when he was done spilling his sadness, the ink of his pen looked almost black.

He could barely see the colour blue.

“It’s finally over!” One of Taemin’s classmates exclaimed, walking leisurely with his hands above his head, stretching with a yawn. “I swear to God, this exam was so long I thought I might pass out.”

“Tell me about it.” Taemin chuckled.

“Oh, isn’t that the dude you were seeing?”

“Hm?” Taemin turned his gaze towards the gate and saw none other than Jonghyun, waiting for him next to his car. “I’m not seeing him.”

“Really? I thought you were an item or something, he used to come here like everyday.”

Yeah, used to. Rang through Taemin’s head. Ever since Jonghyun’s birthday, they’ve barely spent any time together.

A pang made its way through his heart as he looked at the man waiting patiently.

As Jonghyun saw him, he immediately straightened up and showed him the widest smile.

“Taeminnie!” He said, coming closer and ruffling his hair. “Looking good!”

“Likewise.” Taemin smiled shortly. “What are you doing here, Jjong?”

“What, can’t I come see my favourite person?”

My favourite person.

He doesn’t mean it.

“Besides, wasn’t today your last exam?” Jjong continued asking.

“Yeah.”

“See? I remembered. I’m such a good brother.” He boasted proudly. “I’ll treat you to some good food for all your hard work this semester!” Jjong decided, and there was no space for arguing as he instantly opened the door to his car and shoved Taemin inside.

The way to the restaurant was pleasant like usual, and it was like no time has passed at all since they’ve last seen each other, even if, in reality, almost two months passed.

“So, did you miss me?” Jonghyun asked jokingly, his eyes on the road.

“Mhm.”

“What was that? I couldn’t hear you~” He kept teasing Taemin, unaware of the other man’s inner turmoil.

“I didn’t have time to eat, let alone miss anyone.” Taemin replied, looking away through his window. The trees were a dull shade of green, and the sky had almost no colour to it. It was a blue-tinted grey.

“Aww, you’re so mean! I missed you lots, Taeminnie.”

“Good for you.”

“Hey, did I do something wrong?”

“No.”

“Okay.”

“I’m just hungry.”

“Makes sense.” Jonghyun chuckled. “Me too. We’re almost there.”

And Jonghyun was right. They got to the restaurant less than 3 minutes later, the song that started playing on the radio not even having enough time to get to the end.

To his surprise, Jonghyun took him to an extremely fancy restaurant, and they had a reservation.

“Jjong, is this okay?” Taemin whispered as they were being led to a private room. “Seems really expensive.”

“Of course. Everything for my smart friend.” Jjong smiled brightly. “You deserve this for studying so hard these past months.”

They sat down opposite from each other, and plates of food began being brought to them minutes later. It seemed Jonghyun had it all planned to the notch.

“Do you like it?” He asked after a while, both of their faces stuffed with food.

“It tastes incredible.” Taemin replied delighted. “You know, I always thought expensive restaurants were stupid because they serve such small portions, but eating here definitely changed my mind.”

“I’m glad.”

“So, what have you been up to lately, Hyung?” Taemin asked with a smile that dropped as soon as Jonghyun answered.

“Oh, just the usual. Work, work, and work again. But I met someone new, and we’ve been on a couple of dates, and she seems nice enough.”

The food started choking Taemin, who tried to cough the unchewed bits out.

“Wow, you okay?” Jonghyun stood up, rushing to Taemin’s side to pat his back.

“Yeah, I’m fine. You were saying something about a girl?”

“Oh, yes.” Jonghyun sat down right next to Taemin instead of going back to his place on the opposite side of the table, as he excitedly started describing the lucky woman to him, and all the lollygagging they engaged in these past couple of weeks.

Taemin couldn’t eat anymore, and with each of Jonghyun’s words, he tried swallowing his tears back. His heart was hurting. Couldn’t Jonghyun see the turmoil he was putting him through?

“Why did you even take me out?” Taemin mumbled under his breath, unaware that Jjong would hear him.

“What do you mean?” He titled his head unaware. “I told you. You did so well that I had to-”

“You didn’t do this for any of our other friends.” Taemin countered, cutting him off. “You didn’t take Kibum or Minho or Jinki out, even though they had way more exams than me and even finished Uni and their Master’s.”

“N-no, I didn’t…” Jonghyun rubbed his nape awkwardly.

“Then, why? Why did you take me out, just to talk to me about some random girl you’ve been fucking?” The younger asked harshly.

“What do you mean, Taeminnie?”

“Don’t call me that.” He frowned and turned his eyes to the unfinished food on the table, that was sure to stay unfinished, because he wanted to get away.

No, he needed to get away. Now.

Hastily, Taemin stood up and grabbed his backpack from the floor.

“Wait-” Jonghyun followed suit and grabbed his wrist to force him to stop.

“What?” Taemin asked, without even turning to look back.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what you meant, but-”

“Oh, fuck this, Jonghyun. You always do this shit!” He spoke harshly, letting go of all the feelings he’d been suppressing in his chest that were making it hard to breathe.

“What did I do? Taemin, look at me, please.” Jonghyun urged him, and he finally looked back, his eyes full of sadness and disappointment.

“You take care of me. You treat me nice. You take me out on dates that you don’t call dates, only to then break my heart and tell me about how much you love someone else. Why, Jonghyun? Why are you doing this to me?”

“Taemin… what’s this?” Jonghyun watched in awe as a bright red star fell from Taemin’s eyes with a twinkle sound.

“Not this again…” Taemin tried to wipe it off, the sound getting more intense as the stars shattered against his fists.

“Holy fuck! What’s wrong with your eyes?”

“I really can’t do this anymore…”

“Stars…?!” Jonghyun kept looking shocked at his friend.

“I’m in love with you, idiot!” Taemin finally confessed, pushing Jonghyun back, and without waiting for a response, he ran away from the private room right outside, and tried to put as much distance as possible between him and the restaurant.

Red stars continued spilling from his eyes, pouring out all the passion and love from his heart as he kept running away until his lungs ran out of air, leaving star dust on his tracks.

He didn’t know where he was, but knowing that Jonghyun drove him all the way to the restaurant for quite some time, he was aware that there was no chance of going back home on his own. He decided against calling one of his friends and called a taxi instead as soon as his tears dried up and he stopped crying stars.

There wasn’t much money in his pockets, so he asked the driver to just drop him off at the nearest bus station, and the way home took more than an hour.

He had to shut down his phone sometime during the bus drive, because Jonghyun was blowing it up, surely worried about his whereabouts. However, he didn’t have it in him to answer to at least let him know he’s okay, and once he got home, he was glad to see he didn’t come see him.

Taemin laid in bed, wondering how his day could start so well and end so badly.

Why did he have to fall in love with someone who didn’t love him back, he wondered?

Why did it hurt so much?

He couldn’t find any answers to his questions, but glancing around his room, he noticed that the covers of some of his books, once red, were no longer as vibrant.

Loving Jonghyun came at a big price, he thought, and by the time his feelings were dealt with, maybe all the colour would be gone from his world.

Taemin was surprised to not hear anything from Jonghyun in so many days. After blowing up his phone that day, he was radio silent.

His absence hurt Taemin even more than his presence, and he found himself crying twinkling stars almost every day. However, they now fell in all colours at once: a blue star, a red star, a yellow star, an orange star… and his world became dull.

Still, he tried his hardest to find joy in the colours he was able to see, so he’d force himself to go out every day, trying not to dwell on the pain in his heart.

16 days later, he found Jonghyun waiting in front of his apartment complex when he returned from one of his walks.

“Taeminnie.” Jonghyun whispered.

“Hi.” The boy answered softly, guarding himself and building walls around him.

“I missed you.”

Taemin didn’t reply.

“I’m sorry for not reaching out to you after that day… I just needed some time to… reflect on things, I guess.”

“I see.” Taemin nodded.

“Taemin, can we talk?”

“We are talking.”

“No, I meant… whatever, you know what? I’ll just say it. I’ll admit that I haven’t really thought of you that way… not consciously, anyway.”

“Okay.”

“But after you confessed, I realised that you were right about everything. Unconsciously, I acted protective of you, and I was careful to not hurt your feelings, and to be there for you… I really took you on dates, even though I hadn't figured out they were dates…”

“Jjong, go straight to the point.”

“Fine. I will. I also like you, Taemin. Let’s date.”

“Wh-what?!” Taemin’s eyes grew wide, as he wasn’t expecting him to say this. He was readying himself for a proper rejection, so this came up completely unexpectedly.

“You heard me. All this time, I’ve been searching for you in all my partners, without even realising it, simply because I was too scared to confront my true feelings for you. I won’t do that anymore.”

“I can’t believe this…”

“I love you, Taemin.” Jonghyun confessed and pressed his lips against the boy’s lips.

Taemin loved him too, but it was too late, for his world has already lost colour, and his cheeks would forever be stained by powdered star dust.

~The END~

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skzhocomments · 11 months

Text

My only Faith is you - Jeongin (I.N) Oneshot Fanfic (Vampire AU)

HALLOWEEN SPECIAL

Pairing: Jeongin (I.N of Stray Kids) x OC (name: Faith)

Genre: mature, angst, romance, Vampire AU

Word Count: ~13k

Warnings: mature, explicit sexual content, swearing, angst, depression, crying, mentions of non-consensual interactions, blood play (Jeongin is a vampire)

This is just a story that doesn’t describe Jeongin or other mentioned Stray Kids’ members true characters in any way. It’s just a product of my imagination and should be treated as such.

This story is also on Wattpad (click here) and AO3 (click here)

A/N: As any other writer out there, I would appreciate reblogs and your comments on this story. Please let me know if you enjoyed it, and most importantly, have fun!

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Summary

In-between jobs, Faith cursed the hell out of the world for dealing her such shitty hands. 'The light at the end of the tunnel is not a train, the light at the end of the tunnel is not a train, the light at the end of the tunnel is not a train.' - was her mantra, the only reason that kept her pushing despite her astronomical debt. She was going to get out of the town no matter what. She never believed in God, for He never answered her prayers. But what happens if one day someone hears her pleas for help, and what happens if that someone is not human, nor is he God? What happens if that someone longs for the very essence running through her veins, to the point it hurts? Will she just forget his existence and stay oblivious, pretending they never met, since that would keep her safe? Will she even see him again? Or will she embrace the danger, as being in danger has always been the only thing that got her heart racing and made her feel alive? Mature content ahead. 18+ © all rights reserved by skzhocomments (Tumblr), skzho (Tumblr)/ storminsidemycore (Wattpad), storminsidemycore (AO3)

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My only Faith is you - Jeongin Oneshot Fanfic (Vampire AU)

~I.N's POV~

Humans are disgusting creatures.

Selfish, vile, egoistical, sinful, self-centred, unscrupulous, obsessed with themselves, way too proud for their own good.

But still, as horrible as they are... I need them.

I need humans to survive.

This is, for me, a fact of life that's still hard to accept, even though I've been like this... for many years now. Way too many. In fact, more years than any pathetic human life could even reach.

This inherent necessity I have for humans was initially impossible to control. The pretty girl from the coffee shop with the way too short skirt for the times, the drunkard sleeping on a park bench on a random Wednesday night, or the clumsy nerd boy with the round glasses holding his science books way too tightly for his own good under his arm, his plaided shirt too tight and ridiculously tucked into his high-waisted pants – no one was safe from me, for I couldn't hold back the desire I had for that extremely delicious something that flows through those small human veins. Oh, how I enjoyed the way their heart rate went up, pumping even more of that life elixir I hold so dear, when the realisation of what was going to happen hit them.

Their screams were annoying, though. Especially the girls'. High-pitched and irritating as fuck. I always had to make them shut up quicker. Don't get me wrong, men squeal as well, but they're more like... rats. A man's scream sounds almost funny, considering how macho man they see themselves. No one's macho on the verge of death, I suppose.

Let's just say that the first few decades of my new existence were unruly. The blood gave me so much dopamine, I couldn't stop myself, nor did I want to. I was young, barely turned for a few years, and I had fun. Being a sickly kid, I was never allowed to do much, but when I became a vampire, damn, did I not hold back! I allowed myself all the fun I've missed out on in the early years of my life, and I drank all the blood I could, my lips permanently stained red.

That all ended when I met my current family, as I like to call them now. It's unusual to meet too many vampires in the same place. There's not many of us, barely a handful all around the country. So, when I met Chris, everything changed.

I was leaving a bar with a pretty hussy: blonde hair, big tits, amazing thighs. Frankly, I didn't give a shit for any of that, what I wanted from her was to sink my teeth in her jugular vein and leave her cold, but for starters, as much as she was attractive, she was the biggest slut the '30s had ever seen. The thing about those years was that women were either wife material or easy, and that slut certainly wasn't any wife material. I picked her because barely anybody cared for girls like her that would flaunt their femininity, sleep around, and leave practically nothing to the imagination. Men wanted shy, reserved women, so who was going to miss this prostitute?

With as many affairs as she had, no one would suspect anything when she would inevitably turn up in a ditch on the other side of the city. I thought about it long and hard, even though I hated it and would've much rather been reckless, but what's key to vampires is that our existence must stay a secret unless we want to be hunted down, so I needed to hand-pick my victims meticulously.

It only took one espresso martini and a wink to convince her to go with me. Her laugh was annoying, but I was hungry, and her neck looked appetizing as fuck. So much so, that I couldn't even wait until we got back to my place. If I did, things would've maybe been different now, and I would've still been alone, perhaps.

I pushed her against the wall and kissed her neck, preparing it for the bite. Her perfume almost made me gag. I preferred it when people didn't use any on their skin, but oh well, beggars can't be choosers. When my teeth pierced the smooth skin on her neck, she let out such a loud scream, I wanted to smack her. Still, I just covered her mouth and continued drinking her essence. Her blood didn't taste too amazing: I found out that some people taste better than others. Before having time to analyse it, though, I felt myself being kicked to the ground so quickly and powerfully, I didn't even have time to process it.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing out here?!" a man's voice shouted at me, annoyed. I was also extremely angry: who did this idiot think he was to interrupt my meal?

And then it clicked. A normal person wouldn't have been able to shake me off. Or rather - a human wouldn't have been able to. Us vampires are blessed with inhumane force, specifically so we can easily hold our victims down and eat from them. It's just the way mother nature made us, and it's nothing more than a predator and prey dynamic between us and humans. Just the cycle of life.

"What the fuck am I doing? What the fuck are you doing?!" I shouted back and got myself up from the ground. A quick glance at the girl told me that she's passed out, so there was at least some luck there. Her screams would've made me go insane for real – I'd probably snap her neck.

"Saving your ass! Why the fuck are you eating out here? What if someone comes?!" the angry man came towards me and grabbed my collar forcefully. I was shocked to notice that I can't smack his hands away, for his grip was too strong, and he was more powerful than me.

That was a first. I've never met other vampires before, not even the one who turned me. He left me before I got the chance to wake up.

"What's so wrong with that?! I'd just leave. It's not like anyone would see me, no?" I replied coldly, being able to control my anger better now that I wasn't as hungry. The bitch's blood was awful, but it did its job.

"If anyone would, would you kill them too?" he raised an eyebrow and let go of me.

"I mean – I guess so?"

"That's sad. What's your objective, anyway? Messing around and eating? Why don't you do something more productive?"

"Tsch." I scoffed. "Like what? And what do you know about me, anyway?"

"Most things." He shrugged. "I've been following you for some time now, Jeongin. Or should I call you I.N, as you introduced yourself to her 20 minutes ago?" he pointed to the woman on the floor, who was still unconscious, two thin lines of deep red blood flowing from her neck.

"Who the fuck are you?" I replied, confused. Who was this guy and why did he know so much about me?

"Name's Chris. Or Chan, whichever you'd like." He handed me his right hand, waiting for a shake.

"Woah!" I rolled my eyes. "Really explicit! Well, Chris, care to tell me why you've been following me?" I slapped his hand away instead of shaking it, making him smirk.

"I wanted to ask you to join us."

"And who's us?"

"My companions. Fellows that are... like me and you. We call ourselves Stray Kids."

"What a dumb name." I mocked. "And why exactly would I want to join you?"

"Well, why would you want to be alone? Doesn't it get lonely?"

I scoffed again. What was this idiot telling me?

"Look, I'm not interested in any... "companionship" or whatever the fuck you want to call it."

"Suit yourself, then." The man shrugged and turned around. "But if you change your mind, you can find us on Fable Street 143. The big house with the green door. You can't miss it."

"Like hell I would join you. I don't need to hang out with a bunch of nobodies."

"Oh, and don't forget to take care of that." He ignored my snarky reply and pointed to the passed-out girl. "You can leave the poor thing live, no one's gonna believe her anyway."

And with that, he left.

The following months passed by excruciatingly slow.

It's so ironic. I've lived for a long time, but the months ever since that encounter went by slower than a hundred years.

I kept thinking about the man, and I couldn't help but feel like he emanated an aura that demanded respect. And more than that, he raised a suspicious curiosity inside of me; one I've never felt before.

That's how I ended up on Fable Street 143, paying close attention to the big house I've been told about. I kept waiting and waiting, but the green door never opened, I couldn't hear any sounds from the inside, and no one seemed to live there - metaphorically, of course, because no other fellows of mine would be alive.

Was it a scam? I thought at first, before deciding that I ain't in a patient state to keep waiting. I just went to the door and opened it, walking inside like I owned the place.

As soon as I walked in, loud laughter could be heard from a room on the opposite side of the house. I took my time walking towards the voices, admiring the interesting architecture on the walls. Intricate shapes were carved in wood, the height of the room impressive. Every detail pointed towards a Victorian architecture and evoked memories I thought to be long gone from my brain. It looked similar to the house I grew up in, making me feel even a bit... nostalgic.

When I finally reached the end of the large hallway, the smell of burning wood coming from the fireplace of the big living room I walked in welcomed me. In front of the fireplace, two big sofas and a coffee table made the place feel cosier, a few boys sitting leisurely and playing what looked like some sort of board game.

The left side of the room was more like an arcade, or a game room: there were all sorts of entertainment, such as a pool table, a football table, some game cabinets. There was a comical contrast between this side of the room, and the right side, where only a large table with many chairs scattered around it caught my eye.

"Oh?" one of the people on the sofa noticed me and turned around, raising an eyebrow expectedly. He had chestnut brown hair, however a blonde strand stood out in his bangs.

The man I got to know as Chris was also on the sofa, smirking.

"You came." Was all he said, before standing up and coming in front of me to shake my hand.

I decided to accept his shake this time.

"Is this the guy you've been telling us about?" another man spoke, his features cat-like.

"I'm Jeongin." I nodded shortly.

"Well, Jeongin, we're glad you decided to join us."

"I haven't decided anything-" I started, but was quickly cut off.

"We were just about to go feast. Wanna come with?" Chris tapped my shoulder once, then left the room without waiting for my reply. I once again felt his powerful aura, so strong that it made me follow him.

That's how I ended up with Stray Kids. I got to learn that there were 7 other vampires in total, and Chris, being the oldest, was proclaimed the leader of the group. Everyone was in charge of something, such as: finding a good place to eat, doing background checks on people we were interested in consuming, covering up our tracks and disposing of dead bodies if necessary. Stray Kids' main morals consisted in making sure the number of dead humans was as low as possible. They really seemed to dislike killing. I didn't care too much for it, but since I decided to live with them, I had to abide by their rules as well.

I found out that it's so much more convenient to not kill a human and dispose of them. It was so much easier using a drug instead to make them fall asleep while we eat, then making it look like they got hurt by accident.

This means that we don't really bite their necks, though, much to my dismay. A bite to the arm will suffice, then we'll cover it up with a small cut to make it look like a scratch and call it a day. This way we can eat without doing much work afterwards, and if we particularly liked someone, we could just remember them and return to eat when their blood supply comes back.

~Faith's POV~

Fucking hell, not again.

I thought while gagging so badly, suddenly feeling the need to throw up.

"Why are humans so disgusting?" I blurted out while starting to clean up the clogged toilet, full of shit by whichever animal – because I couldn't call the thing who did this a person – wanted to ruin my night.

"Everything okay back there, Faith?" my colleague shouted from the cash register.

"No, dumbass, nothing is okay here! Why the fuck didn't you clean this up before I came?!" I shouted back. He was counting the money made on his shift to add it to the computer program we used in this small gas station and was preparing to hand over the night shift to me.

"Tsch, how the heck do you have such a holy name but such a rotten mouth?" He scoffed.

"No but for real, you always leave these messes for me to clean! What am I, your personal maid?!"

"I just didn't have time, okay?! A lot more people come here during the daytime, just so you know!"

"Yea, yea, keep telling yourself that. How much money did we make during the day then, huh? 100 bucks?"

"150!"

"That's how many people. 5?! Fucking asshole."

I hated this job, but I desperately needed money, so I came to work here, despite all the rumours I've heard about the owners going bankrupt. There are not many options in this city for doing night shifts, and my days are already filled to the brim by the other full-time job I have. If this gas station's going down, we'll see.

What I like the most about this job is the hours. I call it a "night shift" out of convenience, but I'm actually scheduled from 7 PM to 3 AM, which gives me plenty of time to go home and pass out for a few hours before my other job starts at 10 AM.

What I hate the most is – you guessed it! The fucking toilet. And this co-worker.

Just ... a bit more... I tried to give myself some courage, thinking that there is a light at the end of this hellhole.

I am moving.

As soon as I manage to pay off my debt, I'm fucking leaving this place behind and starting anew somewhere else.

Where? I don't know yet. But there's nothing for me in this stupid city. I've been living in a black hole for as long as I can remember, and I can't change anything if I stay.

Just a bit more!

Handing over the shift to my next co-worker, I made my way out of the gas station and inhaled the cold air outside. It was already autumn, gold and rusty leaves paving the way back to the small apartment I lived in.

The way home was not too long, but not too short either. I had to walk for about 20 minutes and pass through some sketchy neighbourhoods, but this was already a nightly occurrence at that point, so I didn't pay it much mind.

The only place that truly creeped me out, though, was the tunnel. A big bridge carrying the country's largest highway crossed over the city, and under it – this cursed space with barely any light that I had to go through every day if I wanted to reach home quicker. The other way home would mean detouring the whole bridge, which would imply more than an hour of walking. I don't have that time, nor the energy to walk so long in the dark after 2 full time jobs.

Now, again, I was in front of the tunnel, bracing myself to go through. Faint sounds could be heard from the inside, but the cars going high speed above made it difficult to listen to anything that was happening.

I took a careful step in the dark but couldn't really see anything. The only light came from the headlights of the cars above that would creep through. I was able to make out a silhouette of a man hunched over. Disgusting sounds were coming from him as he threw up all the alcohol he probably drank, judging by the bottles around him, which made me wonder if he was perhaps the same breed as the guy that shat in the gas station's bathroom earlier.

I crossed over to put some distance between me and him, but that proved itself to be just a futile attempt, as he somehow managed to stop throwing up and come to me, grabbing my hand and pulling me back forcefully.

The guy smelled so bad, I gagged, feeling a bit of vomit rising up my throat. I shoved him back and tried to walk away, but the realisation that he, a man, was more powerful than me, a woman half his size, hit me hard, as he pinned me up against the wall and started rubbing himself on my leg.

"Fuck, get off!" I shouted, trying to push him away, but he forcefully held my hands against the wall, his lips finding their way to my neck.

"N-No!" I shouted, trying to push him again to no avail. Small tears formed in the corners of my eyes, and the feeling of doom settled deep down in my stomach. I didn't know what to do.

The only thing that came to mind was as pathetic as it sounded, which was letting out a quiet "Help" and closing my eyes shut.

I summoned all my strength and managed to somehow push him away from me, but that only got him angrier. He grabbed a handful of my hair and tackled me to the ground, getting above me.

If I could get myself out of the former position, this new one was simply impossible. He was too strong.

I prayed and prayed for someone to come, but quickly lost all hope as the man easily held both my wrists with just one hand, his other roaming my body, touching my breasts, my stomach, my thighs, and my ass.

He ripped off my pants, making me wince as the cold night air brushed on my naked thighs, and then clumsily touched my panties with his dirty fingers, grunting in pleasure.

His touch made me feel so disgusted, I cried again, but there was no one there to hear me.

As his hand moved from my thigh to his growing bulge, I heard the sound of him unzipping his pants.

Fuck.

No.

Is this really happening?

I shut my eyes tighter and mouthed a yet another small "Please help me.", and just then, the man's weight suddenly disappeared from me.

~Jeongin's POV~

Feeling better than ever, my stomach full after the meal I shared with my brothers, I decided to go for a walk.

Night was pleasant. Daytime wasn't too bad, either. There were certain vampires who preferred the sun over the moon, like Felix, one of the guys from Stray Kids.

Then, there was Chris, or Seungmin, or I, who enjoyed the moonlight.

Again, it was simply personal preference. There's no such thing as glowing skin, burning under the sun or nonsense like that. Whoever made those stupid vampire movies didn't research at all. It's clear that they never met a real vampire.

Of course, our existence is a secret, and it's normally extremely difficult to make out a vampire in a crowd. Almost impossible if that vampire is careful. After we drink, we are stronger than ever, but we also become... very human-like. Our skin is no longer pale and cold, we are no longer firm to the touch and these effects last for at least 72 hours, when we would have to eat again. The only indication that we are different stands in our crimson red eyes, but that's also easily hidden with coloured contact lenses nowadays.

Probably the only things those movies got right would be the super strength and enhanced senses. We are able to move very quickly, and our hearing and sight are truly something impressive.

As I'm leisurely walking through the quieter parts of the city, I suddenly hear a small voice.

"Please help me."

It was a cry for help, and judging by the melody of the voice, barely audible, I assumed it was a woman.

Shrugging, I turned around and started walking in the opposite direction.

Then the voice cried again.

"No, please..."

I was able to distinguish a few grunts coming from a man, and the sound of a zipper opening. What the man was doing was disgusting, but I guess it wasn't entirely so different to what we, vampires, did. I also didn't give two shits about others' bodily autonomy.

Well, not exactly. Ever since I joined Stray Kids, Chris made it crystal clear that I'm gonna have to respect other humans, since I needed them. So, I guess that asshole of a man and I weren't that much alike, after all.

Plus, I was doing what I did to survive. He was trying to rape a girl in the middle of the night for... what? A few minutes of pleasure?

Tsch.

My legs moved without me realising, and my hands collided with the man's back, grabbing him by the shirt and shoving him away from the whimpering girl on the ground. She was half naked, but judging by the man's dick barely hanging out of his pants, I got here quickly enough, and he didn't manage to do the deed.

The girl's eyes were burning holes into me, confusion visible on her face, as she didn't seem to register what happened.

The guy tried to get up and land a punch on me, so I went behind him and grabbed him by the collar, while he whimpered in pain as he was slowly getting strangled by his own shirt.

I kept holding the man and looked at the girl, who was clearly bewildered and couldn't comprehend how exactly I was able to hold the man one meter above the ground with such ease, while he struggled in my grip.

Still holding the bastard, who started muttering curses towards me, I took advantage of the super speed and went on top of the bridge quickly, throwing him in front of a moving car.

He was dead instantly.

I went back down to the girl to check on her and see if she'd be able to keep her mouth shut about what happened, and she was still on the ground, but she managed to pull her pants back up.

~Faith's POV~

"You okay?" The tall man spoke nonchalantly. He returned as fast as he left, the drunkard who just assaulted me completely gone by now.

"Uhm... where... is the other guy...?" I looked around confused, not understanding what happened. It's irrational to think that any of it was logical. How the dude practically flew off me, how easily this mysterious black-haired man held him up in the air with just one hand, and how both of them disappeared for just a few seconds, before he returned alone.

None of it made sense.

"Why, love, miss him already?" he wiped his hands off on his clothes, as if he was dirty and wanted to clean himself.

"Of course not. Thank you." Was all I said, when a car suddenly hovered over us on the highway, standing in place, small screams being heard from above. The sudden light allowed me to see the tall figure more clearly, and one thing in particular caught my eye: his red eyes.

"What..." I start, but stop myself in time, as the piercing gaze this guy was giving me almost made me freeze. I felt a sudden rush in my body, my breath hitching inside my throat, my heart beating quicker than ever, and I involuntarily started trembling looking into his eyes. I didn't understand why, but my fight-or-flight response was sending alarm bells to my brain stronger than ever, and I couldn't explain it.

What was it about this guy that was making me so afraid, feeling like a little lamb in front of a wolf? He just saved me... so why? Why is my body reacting like this when I notice him trailing his crimson eyes up and down my body?

It's a different gaze than the drunkard's. This one seemed a million times more... dangerous.

"You know," he started, clicking his tongue, "it's always better to not ask any questions. To stay oblivious. It's safe." He accentuated the last word and took a sure step towards me, and even though my brain was in overdrive and the only thing I wanted to do was to run away as far as possible from this black-haired man, I stood still, continuing to look into his eyes.

I just laid there charmed by his demeanour, by his determined steps, and despite the fear, I felt more alive than ever. The saying was true. Fear doesn't shut you down, it wakes you up.

And that's what it did to me. I got up and started walking towards the man as well, wanting to take in as much as possible about him.

I was completely mesmerised by the way his fox-like red eyes watched my every move, by how angelic he looked. There was no doubt that this must've been the most attractive man I've ever seen in this city. His black hair was parted in the middle, large strands falling on his perfectly smooth forehead. His cheekbones looked like they were carved by Michelangelo himself during a passionate night of sculpting and inspiration.

I reached out a hand to touch his face, and to my surprise, he didn't even flinch. His cheek was warm. My thumb slowly brushed over his lips, that were also an interesting shade of red, it looked like the remnants of a lip tint.

"Done feeling me up, doll?" he smirked, pulling me out of my trance.

"I'm sorry." I take my hand back and get shocked by my boldness. Where did that come from?

"You should go home and forget that tonight happened. Yea?" he instructed me, sounding really convincing. His words were as sweet as caramel liquor, and I just wanted to hear them more and more, to get drunk on them.

"Will you walk me home?" I asked directly, surprising myself; even the man seemed briefly shocked by my boldness, his red eyes growing wide for just a few barely noticeable seconds.

"And why would I?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Because it's safe." I replied, feeling clever to use the same words he just spoke.

"Doll, I'm the farthest thing away from safe. Can't you see? Or rather- can't you feel it?" His face came closer, and he whispered in my ear, sending shivers down my spine. "I can hear your heart beating faster. Aren't you afraid?"

He was right. The ringing in my ears wouldn't stop, and I was in overdrive. This man felt dangerous, but the way he saved me was easily the most interesting thing that ever happened in my pathetic life. It's the first time someone saved me, and God knows how much I needed it before, when the creepy subway guy touched me under my skirt, when a drunkard followed me three streets home or when the loan shark I've borrowed so much money from to pay for my grandma's hospital bills beat me up. I needed help many times, and I asked for it, just as pathetically as I did tonight. But still, no one ever came.

No one ever heard me, until this dark-haired tall man showed up.

Maybe he was my guardian angel. Maybe all my faith was misplaced all this time.

"It's safer than going alone." I retorted weakly after trying to think of a witty reply, and failing.

"I don't know about that sweetheart. I could just be a monster in disguise and eat you as soon as we cross through the tunnel."

"Hmm. Maybe you are. Is red your natural eye colour?" I ask, way too bold once again.

"As I said, not asking questions and staying oblivious is safe, so why don't you bite your tongue?"

"Only if you take me home. Safe and sound."

"You're persistent." He grinned. "Okay. I'll take you home, but you will promise me that you'll forget about the drunkard, what happened in this tunnel and me. And you'll stop asking questions you shouldn't know the answers to."

"Fine. I promise. But can you tell me your name, at least? I'll forget it by tomorrow morning anyway." I started walking through the tunnel, surer of my steps, since it was no longer as dark. I wondered how many cars stopped above us for it to be so well lit, and I tried not to think of the drunkard that wanted to get a feel of me when several sirens could be heard from the highway.

I was sure that whatever happened to him, happened up above, and judging by the number of sirens, I would find out from the morning papers.

I'm not so sure I wanted to know, though.

"It's Jeongin. What's yours?"

Jeongin. A really old name.

I tried once again to stop thinking. Maybe it's as he said. Not knowing is better. It's safer.

But do I want safety, or do I want to feel something for once?

"Faith."

"Pfft." He burst out laughing. "Faith? So ironic."

"Why?"

"Who're you gonna have faith in? Now you have to tell me you believe in God."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"Did God save you tonight? Whichever God you've prayed to. Did he listen to your prayers, ever?"

"Jeongin..." His name lingered on my lips for a little while. "You are... how I will pray from now on." I glanced at him with a serious look in my eyes, as we exited the tunnel.

"I'm no God."

"Maybe... But you are mine, for you answered my prayers, didn't you?"

"I just happened to be around to hear them." He shrugged, and I dropped it.

The walk home was filled with silence, as both of us leisurely made our way towards the old, run-down apartment building I live in. As soon as I announced that we arrived, Jeongin disappeared without a trace, and I didn't see him again.

~Six months later~

~Faith's POV~

40.000$.

That's how much I borrowed to pay for my grandmother's hospital bills. Lung cancer was a horrible diagnosis to receive at her old age, but what was I supposed to do? Simply give up on her? She's the one who raised me.

The doctors weren't optimistic, and suggested many times in good faith that we should stop treatment, stop forcing her to fight. The treatment was expensive, the chemotherapy reaching up to as much as 7000$ per month, excluding the additional cost of her having a bed in a shared crappy room at our state hospital. She was hospitalised for a total of 8 months, 6 of which included chemo. It's easy to say that the cost wound up eating away at me, putting me in a dilemma: let my grandmother go, or get money somehow?

I've been working since 13 doing all sorts of odd jobs just to keep us afloat, as my grandma hasn't been able to work due to her sickness in a long time. I even managed to save up some money, a few pretty thousands, but everything I've saved up was gone the first 2 months of her hospital stay, so the only thing I could do was borrow money. However, no bank wanted to loan anything to me, an 18-year-old high school dropout with no consistent job.

I was desperate. I didn't know what to do or who to turn to. We had no one, and with my grandma sick, I was completely on my own. I resorted to associating with bad crowds, and ended up finally meeting a loan shark that was willing to lend me as much as I asked for monthly, which was only my grandma's bills that I couldn't cover from my two jobs. I skipped eating entirely only to be able to pay him back the monthly fare we agreed upon once my grandma passed away, and I became frail. The only times I could eat were when something was left over from the gas station's pastry, or when I could get a 90% discounted product at the supermarket for something that was soon to expire.

In retrospect, I made the wrong choices. My grandma suffered badly, the chemo only made her weaker, the meds made her dizzy and sick, and by the end she became a shell of herself. I should've let her go peacefully, and I shouldn't have borrowed any money.

But I did. 40.000$, with interest 60.000$.

And the 2 jobs I had – now only one, ever since the gas station closed down – barely paid for my rent of the crappy one-room in the old, run-down apartment building and the loan.

Scraping by, trying to find another job I could work night shifts in, I kept agonising.

Just a bit more!

I tried to tell myself again, but who was I trying to fool? How many years would I need to lie to myself like this? How many years have I already lied?

My train of thoughts was interrupted when the door of my apartment opened up forcefully.

I stood up and glanced at the two masked men walking through the door like they owned the place.

"You turned off your phone." One voice spoke, and I quickly realised it was the loan shark. "And you paid me too little last month. Trying to run away from your responsibilities?" He came threateningly in front of me and slapped my left cheek with force. I felt the iron taste of blood inside my mouth, but I didn't cry out in pain.

"I didn't turn off my phone." I tried defending myself. "It broke down and I didn't have money to replace it. And I paid you a little bit less because I lost one of my jobs, but I will make it up to you as soon as I get hired again."

"And when's that? Fucking bitch." He raised his hand again, making me wince in anticipation.

"I- I don't know." I stuttered. "I've been trying to find something, but-"

"I know, Boss. Why don't we hire her at the new place? She's not that ugly, I bet she could bring in banks." The other masked man spoke. I didn't like the sound of it.

"Great idea. You're gonna start working tonight at the new club opened on Fable street."

"Wait-" I raised my hands in the air trying to get his attention. "I don't- I can't- I'm not a prostitute!" I shouted, trying to explain somehow and make him understand that I don't want to take this job no matter what.

"You won't sleep with anyone. You're just going to play hostess and serve drinks, make sure customers are happy. That's all." The loan shark shrugged as if it was nothing. As if I was so naïve, I couldn't tell that he was lying. There was no just playing hostess and serving drinks. Things didn't work like that in the real world, and I hated the idea of doing that kind of job, selling my body to strange men – I wanted to avoid clubs all together.

"But-" I started, before getting quickly cut off.

"Tonight, 10 PM, Fable Street 142. Dress up nicely, a short skirt would be preferable, and put some ice on that cheek, otherwise you'll bruise, and no customer will want to look at that ugly face. Oh, and you'd better be there, unless you want me to fucking kill you, or even better, sell you off to get my money back."

Bastard.

Even though I put ice on my swollen cheek, the bruise still started to form, and I didn't have any make-up to cover it up.

In terms of clothes, my wardrobe was also scarce. However, I managed to find a short black skirt that was hugging my thighs a bit too tight for my liking, and that was barely covering up my bum. I grabbed a sort-of matching low crop black shirt, and looking at myself in the mirror, I felt like a slut.

The only thing covering up my body was a big winter coat that I hugged around me as tightly as I could while I made my way on the dark streets to Fable 142. Indeed, a new club opened here. Glancing around, the only neighbours would be whoever lived in the house on Fable 143 – if there was even someone living there, for the place looked pretty abandoned – so poor them, because it was sure that this club, like all the others run by this loan shark, would be noisy as hell.

I entered the club and made my way towards the bar, where the loan shark sipped lazily on some whiskey.

"Look at you, you're presentable at least. But your cheek is bruising up, didn't you listen to me?"

"I did." I replied drily.

"I must've hit you too hard. It's not like you didn't deserve it, so whatever." He shrugged. "Take off the coat and start serving, the bartender will let you know which tables need which drinks."

~Jeongin's POV~

"Yo, Chris, wanna come with across the street? A new club opened up. Maybe we'll find some food." Minho smirked evilly.

"Nah, I'm good. Not hungry at the moment." Chris shrugged and continued reading whatever book he was holding.

"Seungmin? Jisung? Jeongin?" Minho continued asking around the room.

"I'd like to go." Felix replied.

"Hmm, me too. I do feel a bit hungry." Jisung got up from the sofa and tossed aside the remote control of the TV in the living room.

"Fine, I'll come too, if y'all are going." I stood up as well, and the four of us made our way vis-à-vis.

The club was loud, and the smell of smoke was intoxicating. We quickly found an empty table and Minho ordered a few bottles of expensive rum, whiskey and champagne, before starting to look around the room hungrily, hunting for tonight's unlucky victim.

I looked around the room as well and noticed how full the circular tables with leather sofas around them were, and then something caught my eye. Or rather – someone.

Faith was wearing a short, indecent black skirt with a top just as small. She presented a Dom Perignon champagne bottle to the men around the table directly in front of us, and they urged her to sit down next to them and pour the angel's tears in their glasses.

She seemed uncomfortable.

One of the men was getting touchy with her, his hand brushing over her naked thigh, and with each of his touches, her expression would grow even more cramped. Her whole body looked stiff, and I couldn't believe how no one cared for her comfort. But men will be men, and the only thing they cared about in this state – drunk, totally intoxicated – was getting to touch a pretty woman everywhere, and releasing themselves, preferably inside of her.

Why is she here?

After our encounter 6 months ago, I don't know what was wrong with me. I grew some sort of infatuation towards her, and I kept watching her more often from the shadows. I found out she's living a chaotic, sad life, working two jobs seemingly to support herself, all the money going God knows where. I never showed myself in front of her again, though, because what good would it do?

But strangely enough, I was curious to see how this small human navigated her day-to-day life, and I knew her gas station and cashier jobs' schedule by heart. I even remembered her name, which was another first. I never cared to remember any names before. And even more than that, it was the first time I wasn't interested in her blood, but rather in herself, but I didn't want to do anything with this curiosity, so I stopped following her around about a month ago.

She's just a pathetic human. I would tell myself. And she's going to die anyway.

So why was I now feeling so much discomfort, seeing the man try to move his fingers up her skirt?

Why is she here? Why isn't she at the gas station?

She suddenly got up and bowed shortly, before leaving the room and basically running to the bathroom. The man seemed persistent, however, and got up, going after her, and my feet once more moved without my will, towards them.

The man grabbed Faith by the hand and spun her around, grabbing her behind with his free hand and lifting up her short skirt. She protested and tried pushing him away, but before she got the chance to, I grabbed the man by his collar and threw him on the ground. One glance at him made all the annoyance in his gaze disappear, getting replaced by fear. He stood up and walked away, leaving me and Faith on the small corridor.

As soon as she saw me, her eyes went wide, in a similar fashion to the night we met.

"Jeongin." She breathed, my name sounding sweet on her lips.

I got closer to her and replaced the man's position, letting her skirt back down instead of lifting it up. I put my face closer to hers, and breathed in her perfume-less, natural scent, which was so sugary, it almost drove me crazy. This night I was hungry. I kissed her neck slowly and tried to fight all urges inside of me to not bite her then and there, and I was expecting to hear her complaining of my actions, but instead, she rolled her head back against the wall, giving me more access to her bare neck.

"Back again in danger's lap?" I whispered, feeling the way her body reacted to my words, how she crumbled in front of me.

"You helped me again." Her hands found their way to my waist, and she held on tightly.

"What are you doing here, Faith? This is not you." I trailed my hands down her body, touching the small of her waist, before trailing down to her hips, to her naked thighs, my lips still dangerously close to her neck. Oh, how I wanted to sink my teeth in her soft skin and taste her.

"I didn't have a choice." Her hands also moved from my waist, upwards towards the back of my shoulders, and she pulled me in closer.

"Do you want to bite me?" She asked seductively, making my breath hitch in my throat. Of course, I didn't actually need to breathe, but I learnt to do so naturally so as to seem more human-like.

"Why would you ask that?"

"I've been thinking about you. A lot. And I figured it out." She whispered.

If I had a beating heart, I was sure it would've beat harder than ever right now. Or stopped. Either or.

"What have you figured out?" I asked.

"What you are."

"What am I?"

"A vampire." She whispered again, slowly, the words rolling off her tongue.

"Bullshit. Vampires don't exist." I smirked.

"You exist, though."

"So you made out I'm no God, then?" I grinned again.

"I told you, Jeongin. When I'm down on my knees, you're how I pray. You can be anything, and I wouldn't care."

Fuck, how badly I wanted this human girl to be mine. To have her completely for myself and learn everything about her, to drink her blood whenever I please and to fuck her senseless – first time I've ever felt this urge, a new feeling rising up inside of my chest, making the shirt on me feel too tight.

"Faith, stop working at this place. Don't let any degenerate touch you." I whisper while slowly kissing her neck again, the small moans from her lips intoxicating me more than anyone else's blood ever could.

"I need money."

I raised my head and examined her face closely, and that's when I noticed a dark patch on her left cheek.

"Who did this to you?" I touched her cheek softly, seeing her wince in pain.

"The same bastard I've borrowed money from. I couldn't pay back this month's share fully, so he hit me, then brought me here."

"How much do you need?"

"25.000$ more"

"Ouch. Why don't you show me the unlucky bastard who hit you, pretty?"

"Why? What good would it do?"

"To pay him back, of course." I smiled innocently, thinking of all the ways I was going to fuck up the idiot's face.

I raised my head and looked down into Faith's eyes, surprised to see no more fear in them. Instead, something else seemed to glimmer – curiosity, perhaps. I resumed my initial position in the crook of her neck.

"It's the owner of this club."

"Got involved with a bad gang, pretty?"

"I did. And now I'm paying the price." She shrugged. It felt like we were having a talk while drinking a morning coffee, not something as serious as this. It was quite ironic, considering our proximity. My lips were still latched to her skin, stealing small moans with each few seconds of silence between us, and her arms were still pulling me closer, hands on the back of my shoulders.

"I'll clear it up for you, if you promise me you'll live better." I distanced myself from her again, afraid that I would really sink my teeth in her. I wasn't sure if she would want me to, and Chris' words to respect humans' autonomy echoed through my head. It was shocking, really, to truly care about her autonomy, and no one else's.

"What do you know about how I've been living?" She raised an eyebrow, grabbing the collar of my shirt and holding it tightly. I let her do whatever she wanted. That's the privilege of my interest in her. "And if you help me, will you just disappear again?"

"I don't know. Probably. You don't need me hanging over your head."

"I want you, though." She replied bluntly. "You see, Jeongin... playing with death seems to be the only thing that makes me feel alive."

I was baffled. The burning in her eyes made it impossible to look away from her. It was like there was something unspoken between us, a connection I couldn't back away from, and I once again wondered what it was about this mortal girl that made me feel this way.

I forgot that I, too, used to be mortal. I haven't always been a blood thirsty vampire, and I haven't always longed for human's very essence.

Looking into her eyes, though, I remembered, and it came down on me like a wave crashing against the shore. I used to have this burning in my eyes too, and I used to want to live, as I was rotting away in a hospital bed a few hundred years ago.

"Will you offer to me just like that, Faith? Will you come with me? Will you continue praying to me, no matter what I'll do to you?" I asked her in such a low voice, it almost came up as a whisper, barely audible in the club's uproar.

The corners of her mouth lifted up in a mischievous smile, before she pulled on my collar and made our lips collide.

~Faith's POV~

I must be crazy.

No sane person would do what I've done.

Jeongin was walking leisurely in front of me, his right arm stretched backwards to hold my hand firmly.

The realisation that I was following a vampire God knows were at 3 AM after just kissing him sunk into the bottom pit of my stomach, and I started feeling very dizzy. It was surely the lack of sleep that made me feel this way. How many hours have I been awake for?

"How old are you? How did you become a vampire?" I asked, trying to steer away from the tightness of my chest.

"Someone turned me when I was 21. Many, many years ago."

"Who? Why?"

"I don't know. I can't remember his face. I was sick, on the verge of death. I probably had something that doctors would call an autoimmune disease nowadays. It wasn't much known of medicine back then, though, so I can't be sure. Then I got pneumonia, and I knew I was done for."

"Fuck, so you've been sick your whole life?"

"Yes. Couldn't really get out of bed much. I remember my mother's face when she took me outside in the sun, on the rare occasions she had enough time to. I had 6 other siblings, so she was a busy woman."

The fact that he was answering my questions without any complaints made me feel more at ease, making the knot in my stomach slowly disappear.

"Really? What happened to them?"

"They all knew I died, and since the form of pneumonia I had was contagious, there was no open casket. It was easy enough to fool them into thinking someone was in there, buried in the ground. I continued helping them out and left money from time to time, but they never saw me again."

"That's sad. Weren't you lonely?"

~Jeongin's POV~

"That's sad. Weren't you lonely?" Faith asked, a pitiful look in her eyes.

"Well, why would you want to be alone? Doesn't it get lonely?" Chris' words echoed inside my head, making me close my eyes.

Why does everyone assume I've been lonely?

And why does it feel like they are right?

"I don't know." I replied truthfully, feeling her hold my hand tighter.

"I am lonely." Faith continued, looking ahead. We weren't going anywhere in particular. I just wanted to get her out of the club and walk somewhere with her. Being in her proximity was not healthy for her, she would for sure end up bitten with the hunger growing in my body.

I don't want to bite her, though, or to taste her blood.

I don't think I would be able to stop if I did.

"I borrowed money to pay for my grandma's hospital bills. She was really sick, and then she died. It was all in vain. That's why I work two jobs now, to pay everything back."

"Hmm. I see. Which reminds me, why weren't you at the gas station?"

"How do you know I've worked there?" She raised an eyebrow.

Fuck.

"I followed you around for a bit, after we first met."

"No way! And you didn't meet me even once?!" She pouted. "I wanted to see you again so badly, Jeongin!"

"Didn't you promise me you'd forget about everything?" I raised my eyebrow playfully as well.

"I lied." She grinned. "The gas station shut down. The owners went bankrupt."

"Oh, that sucks."

"Indeed. That's why I'm apparently a part time hostess, part time prostitute at the new club."

"Nah, you won't go back there."

"I won't?" She asked, surprised.

"You won't."

"Jeongin, I..." she started speaking, her voice trembling. "I don't feel so good..."

"Why, what's wrong?" I turned around just in time to see her knees giving out.

She would've definitely fell, if I weren't there to catch her.

~Faith's POV~

Huh?

What... happened...?

I opened my eyes to see the curtains of an unfamiliar room, my head pounding with pain.

"Hello." A voice I didn't recognize sang next to my bed. I turned my head to see a man leisurely reading a book, his legs crossed. "Slept well?"

"Who... uhm... where am I?" I stumbled on my words and looked straight into the man's eyes, noticing a familiar crimson pigment in his irises.

"This would be Jeongin's room." The man replied, closing the book and meeting my gaze.

"Oh."

"And I am Chris, he asked me to look after you until he returns."

"Where did he go?"

"To eat."

"Oh."

Chris was beautiful, there was no doubt about it. His jaw was so sharp, I was certain it could cut through glass, and there was just something about him... emanating confidence, making you unable to look away.

"Will he be gone long?" I asked the man, noticing him shrug a bit.

"I'm not sure. I assume you're hungry as well? We bought you something earlier, hopefully you'll like it."

"Uhm... Chris?" I start, unsure, holding the duvet closer to my chest. I cursed myself for having worn such inappropriate clothes last night to the club. "Do you perhaps have... uhm... a change of clothes?"

"It's okay sweetie, we aren't that desperate to bite you just after seeing some skin. Most of us aren't, anyway."

Well, that surely is assuring.

"I am the one uncomfortable, though..." I grimaced. "Not because of you. It's just... not my usual style."

"Hmm, I guess you could borrow something from Jeongin's closet if you want."

"He's so tall, though."

"Changbin?" Chris said, as if the person he wanted to talk to was in the room. I was shocked to see the door open not even 2 seconds later.

"You asked for me?" A black-haired man walked inside. "Hey." He waved at me, acknowledging my presence. He seemed excited to be here, and he was smiling at me way too eagerly.

"Yea, can you bring some pants for Faith? Jeongin's clothes are too large."

"Sure. Or I could go buy something real quick. What size are you, Faith?"

"Uhm... I'm not sure? Probably S or M?" I reply with a shrug. I haven't bought clothes in forever, so I really didn't know.

"Mkay, be right back." Changbin left as quickly as he came.

"Wanna wait for him, or should we go down for you to eat?"

"We can wait..."

"Sure, whichever makes you more comfortable."

"Chris?"

"Hm?"

"Are you okay with me knowing about...?" I hesitated.

"About what?" He raised an eyebrow as if he was daring me to keep talking.

"About the fact that you are... vampires?" I gulped, noticing the small twitch of his mouth.

"I don't have much choice. Each of us has an obsession, and we can't help it. You're Jeongin's."

Huh?

I blushed uncontrollably.

"So, what's yours?"

Chan chuckled. "Mine? Hard to say. Haven't found it yet."

"It?" I asked a bit offended. "Is that how you generally refer to people? Like they're objects?"

"What? No." He shook his head. "You misunderstood. Each of us has... their own thing they are extremely obsessed with for no particular reason. Think of it like this: what you specifically like as a human being gets amplified 1000%. Imagine your favourite thing in the world is Chocolate Fudge Brownie ice cream. If you become a vampire, you don't simply enjoy eating that the most. You are so obsessed with it, you would literally be almost unable to live without the thing."

"Oh, I assumed it would be... a person. Sorry."

"No, not necessarily. No worries." He waved his hand around in the air.

"So what other... obsessions do you guys have?"

"Well, the man you just met earlier-"

"I'm back!" Changbin burst through the door, startling me and making Chan chuckle.

"He can answer that himself." Chan grinned.

"Answer what?" Changbin raised an eyebrow, still supporting multiple shopping bags on his arms.

"Your obsession." I clarified, feeling that Chan was having a bit too much fun making me look like a curious idiot who wasn't able to ask things themselves.

"Oh, can't you figure it out?" Changbin smirked, dropping all bags on the floor and starting to flex his muscles.

Chan started clapping with a loud laugh, as if impressed by his friends' show.

I smiled with content and asked what's in the shopping bags. Changbin seemed kind of dejected that I didn't pay more attention to his muscles. I couldn't lie, he was attractive as fuck, but I got my eye on someone else already, so...

"Why did you buy so little? She's gonna need a lot more." Chan scolded Changbin as I examined the pants he brought back with him. I found out he brought me a few clothes, so I'd have a selection to choose from, and even if Chan thought it's not much, it was more than my whole wardrobe back home.

"You know how peculiar I.N is about style! It's best if she just goes shopping with him directly." Changbin whined.

"Who's peculiar about style?" Jeongin entered the room, seeing him in the daylight was a cultural reset. He was the most beautiful man who ever walked the earth, and I was grateful to finally be able to examine him clearly under good lighting. The same red eyes, crimson stained lush lips and prominent cheekbones brought me a sense of familiarity and I felt safe.

"No one, no one! Anyways, I'm gonna let you to it." Changbin excused himself, and Chan followed soon after.

"I'd say go with this blouse if you like those pants." Jeongin commented, seeing me be indecisive. Having little clothes to pick from would've been way easier.

"Thanks. How was the meal?" I asked him, genuinely curious. It would be a lie to say I was not interested in how vampires live, now that I found out for sure that they are real.

"Wh-what?" He stuttered. "Why would you want to... know that?"

"I mean... no reason in particular. I just want to know things about you, I guess?" I stumbled on my words as well, not expecting Jeongin to grow shy.

"It was... good, I guess? Could've been better."

"Oh. Uhm... do people... taste differently?"

"... Yea, they do."

"That's insane. Do you think I-"

"Did you eat breakfast?" Jeongin cut me off, and seeing the tip of his ears grow as red as his lips, I decided to drop it for now.

However, I was really curious to know what my blood tasted like. This was a weird new oddity of mine.

"No, not yet."

"You should, so let's go downstairs, what do you say?"

We both made our way to the kitchen where another red-haired vampire I didn't recognise was cutting up all sorts of vegetables. He quickly shifted his attention to the pan of the stove where two eggs were slowly getting cooked, sunny side up.

"Morning." He smiled briefly and waved. "I'm Minho, the guy in charge of your meals from now on."

"Hi, thank you. I'm Faith. Wait- from now on?" I turned and glanced at Jeongin.

"We were thinking that it would be best if you started living with us, so-"

"We're trying to be accommodating." Minho cut him off.

"Uhm, okay..." I looked again at Jeongin, unsure, then sat down at the table and watched as Minho placed a plate in front of me.

"I don't remember when I last ate breakfast." I mumbled, and Minho hummed, then sat down in front of me, elbows on the table and head in his hands, and looked at me expectantly. Jeongin also sat down next to me and started speaking.

"So, Faith, about that loan shark..."

"Yea?" I turned my head to him, but Minho was growing impatient, so he leaned over the table and moved the plate towards me. The gesture caught me off guard, making me chuckle slightly. I got the memo and took some bread, swirling it in the egg yolk, then brought it to my mouth to eat.

"I killed him." Jeongin said, as if it was the most usual thing in the world. I, caught off guard once again, for entirely different reasons this time, choked on the bread and started coughing. Minho gave me a glass of water, and I gulped it down.

"You what?" I asked after I collected myself.

"I killed him." Jeongin shrugged again.

"Oh." Was all I could say in return. What was I supposed to answer anyway? They probably kill people on the daily basis to eat, so-

"Oh my." Minho shook his head. "Bad, I.N, bad. When's the last time you killed someone?"

"70 years ago...?" Jeongin tilted his head, unbothered. "Although I killed two ever since meeting Faith."

"Tsk. Bad influence. What did the unlucky dudes do?" Minho chuckled.

"The first one tried to assault Faith, and the second one hit her."

"Mhm." Minho nodded.

70 years ago...?

"Don't you normally kill people when you suck their blood?" I asked bluntly, the two men's heads turning at me.

"No." Minho replied with a gentle smile. "We are a bit... conservative, in this regard. We let them live."

"Really? But... if you bite them and let them live, wouldn't they turn into vampires?" I asked, confused.

"What, do you think we're zombies or some shit? That it's transmissible like a virus?" Jeongin chuckled.

"I mean, it would make sense." I shrugged.

"No." Jeongin replied with a slight laugh.

"If people don't turn after getting bitten... how do they turn?"

"That's the first step, but it's not enough. A bite would make you feel sick for a few days at most, then you'd be back to normal." Minho clarified.

We continued chatting for a while, and it was such a weird feeling, sitting at the kitchen table talking sweet nothings in the morning, as if I've always been with them, as if we've known each other forever and shared food at breakfast every morning.

After six months of living with Stray Kids – as I learnt that that's what they were calling themselves – the feeling that I was home continued to grow in my chest.

It was certainly an unusual situation, living among vampires while my heart kept pumping blood, but seeing that all the other vampires in the house seemed to care for my comfort – at least out of respect for Jeongin – and didn't want to hunt me down or eat me or anything was pretty relieving. Even our bonds became stronger, and I was sure some of them considered me genuinely pleasant to be around, if not a friend. Felix and I would play games daily, Lee Know taught me how to cook simple meals, Seungmin taught me photography, Changbin would sometimes take me to the gym to get in shape, Han and I would sing songs together – even if his voice was angelic and mine was the opposite of that, Hyunjin and I would paint together, I would read and discuss books with Chan, and Jeongin...

Jeongin was, to me, the most important person in the world.

My feelings for him just grew and grew and grew and they were so big I was sure they were going to swallow me eventually. I also knew he felt something for me too, just from the way he cared for me. He treated me like I was a precious porcelain doll – with care and consideration. At night, he would hold me in his arms until I fell asleep, and he wouldn't leave my side even afterwards, even if he wouldn't be sleeping. He said it's enough just to hear me breathing, knowing I'm happy, and safe.

We haven't kissed again since that night in the club 6 months ago, which hurt. I wanted Jeongin in all ways. I wanted to be his, I wanted him to capture my lips and fuck me and bite me without thinking of any repercussions.

I wanted him to turn me into a vampire.

Tonight, just as usual, we were laying in bed, Jeongin was waiting for me to sleep. My head was on his shoulder, and my fingers were tracing the shape of his neck.

He was warm to the touch, and soft, which indicated to me that he must've eaten today, or yesterday.

Watching his neck in the soft moonlight, my fingers touched two scarred spots on his skin.

"Jeongin...?" I started.

"Hm?"

"These spots here... is this where you were bitten?"

"Yes."

"When you were turned?"

"Yea."

"Do you remember... how it happened?"

"Not much.... I told you before... I was a sickly child, and on my deathbed, a man visited me. I don't remember what he looked like, and I don't know why he did it, but... he decided I should live, so he bit my neck."

"But you said biting someone is not enough to turn them." I raised my head to look him in the eyes.

"Because it's not. There is still... something else you have to do to become a vampire."

"What is it?"

"You must drink a vampire's blood."

"Oh... how did you... do it?"

"The man cut his hand, and I felt a warm liquid getting poured in my mouth... his blood." Jeongin looked at me, trying to grasp my reaction. When there was none, he asked. "Aren't you shocked, Faith?"

"Why would I be? No... I'm actually... glad."

"Glad?" He chuckled. "Why?"

"Because thanks to that man, I got to meet you."

"I'm also glad we met, Faith." He cupped my cheek with his hand, and we looked at each other for a little while.

"Jeongin, I feel like you made me wait enough..." I said, and pressed my lips against him, as his hands moved on my waist and pulled me in his lap.

"I didn't mean to. It's just... it's hard to control myself around you sometimes, when all I want to do is sink my teeth in your neck and taste you."

I leaned in next to his ear and whispered, "Do it.", and I felt his grip on my waist tighten.

"What if... I wouldn't be able to stop...?" He looked into my eyes, seriousness laced into his glance.

"I don't care." I shook my head. "I love you, and I want you to have me in every possible way. Please. I want to be with you forever. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, and I feel happiest when you're around."

"I feel the same way." He smiled, cupping my cheek once again and raising his head to meet mine, pecking my lips.

"Can't you... drink from me, at least once, and... turn me?"

"Faith... I don't know if that's the best thing for you... I don't even know if loving me is right."

"Yet I do. But why... are you saying this?"

"Because of who I am." He smiled sadly. "I have a horrible past, and you certainly deserve better."

"I would take on the whole world for you, Jeongin. I thought you knew that..."

"Before deciding on anything... I must confess all my sins. If, after hearing about my past, you are still sure you want me... then Faith, I will do whatever you want me to do. I will submit to you wholly."

Jeongin started telling me about his early childhood, about his brothers and sisters, and his fond memories of them. He told me about turning into a vampire, how painful it was, how hungry he woke up, how he couldn't recognise himself anymore, as soon as he turned. He told me about his early vampire days, about the people he mercilessly murdered just for his own entertainment, about how he met Chris and the others, and how he got here.

He spoke for a long time, and I just listened, my head pressed against his chest, where normally a beating heart should keep him alive. There was no beating coming from his chest, though. Jeongin was dead, and I was alive, and it was hard to grasp, still.

After he finished talking, he changed our positions, making me lay down while his head laid on my chest this time.

"Your heart beats nicely..." he spoke softly, his ear pressed against me, listening closely to my unruly heart. After everything he told me, a normal person would've been scared, repulsed, even. But I...?

I now understood what made Jeongin himself, and I loved him even more now.

"Faith... don't you want children? A family? Growing old with someone you love? If you continue to pick me, you won't be able to have any of those things..."

"I don't need any of that." I replied truthfully. "As long as I have you..."

"I am a monster, and you want me?" He chuckled. I caressed his hair.

"You are not a monster. You are my everything. I am not religious, but... I told you before. You are the closest thing to God I'll ever encounter in this life, and the fact that we met... must've been fate, don't you think?"

"If I'm your God... you are my Faith." Jeongin spoke, then pulled down my blouse and kissed my chest softly. He moved upwards and kissed his way from my collarbones to my neck. He sucked a few marks on it, his sloppy, wet kisses making me moan, and after a few seconds, a stinging pain made me wince, and I grabbed his back for support. I felt his teeth sink deep in my neck, as he sucked my blood slowly, and my whole body stiffed in place from the pain.

"Shh." He whispered, taking out his fangs and kissing the sore spot. "You did well." He praised me, continuing to kiss my neck.

"How... was it?" I asked, trying to hold back tears. It hurt, but there was something erotic about the way he bit me and kept kissing me, and I felt my core aching for some friction, for any sort of contact between our bodies.

Jeongin must've known it too, for he pressed his crotch against mine, making me moan as his hard cock pressed against my pussy.

"The best blood I've ever tasted. Fuck, you taste so good, Faith. I want to bite you again." He said, and without missing a beat, his lips latched to my chest, just above my breast, and his teeth sank in my skin once again. Another sharp pain awoke my senses, and I rolled my head back, trying to relax.

Jeongin's left hand trailed on my body, cupping my right breast slightly, then touching the hem of my pants and underwear, taking them down in a swift motion. His thumb started working on my nub, his teeth still in me, and I spread my legs open for him, giving him full access.

The next time he moved his mouth, he brought it against mine, and kissed me, parting my lips with his tongue. I opened my mouth and let our tongues play, and the first thing I felt was the salty, metallic taste on his tongue. I was tasting my own blood in his mouth, and I moaned once again. I was already a wet mess, ready for him to take me however he wanted.

He once again seemed to know, as he took off his pants quickly and positioned himself between my legs, his dick touching my entrance. He pushed in, continuing to kiss me, and when he bottomed out, I saw stars.

A few thrusts in and he established a quick rhythm, hitting all the right places as I clenched around him. The sounds coming from my lips were obscene, but muffled by his mouth as he fucked himself into me.

"Fucking hell, Faith, this is just too good." He praised me again and again.

"This is not hell... it's heaven." I replied, through hurried breaths, feeling myself almost get over the edge. "I'm so close." I cried out, and as soon as I said that, Jeongin moved from my lips to my neck, on the other side that was still unmarked.

He pushed his dick in and out of me harshly, grazing my G spot over and over, and I felt my orgasm take over all my senses, making me see stars, moment when Jeongin's teeth marked my skin once more, biting me and drawing blood for him to drink.

The combination between pleasure and pain was euphoric, and I felt myself get dizzier and dizzier, completely fucked up.

"You're the best." Jeongin spoke, his own orgasm coming quickly enough as his warm seed released inside of me. He kissed my lips again, and then plopped down next to me.

I turned around to face him, when he bit his own wrist, blood dripping on the covers.

"Faith... the ultimate decision is yours. You can stay human, and I will love and cherish you until the end of your life, or... you could join me in this deathless life. Now, next time, or never. Whatever you choose, and whenever you're ready to choose, I will be happy to stay by your side regardless."

"Are you proposing to me after just one night together?" I joked, and Jeongin smiled kindly.

He put his wrist close to my head and I grabbed his arm, looking into his eyes. The choice was obvious, and I was determined, so I licked a long stripe of blood from his elbow until the bite, and I closed my eyes.

The taste was similar to when we kissed earlier, metallic and salty, only slightly different, as it was now not only my blood I was tasting, but his as well, and I found it so beautiful, knowing the same blood would flow through both our bodies.

I latched my mouth against the bite and closed my eyes shut, forcing myself to drink Jeongin's blood, even if the taste was making me nauseous.

He petted my hair gently, and after a few long seconds, my chest started throbbing with pain and I felt myself suffocating for air.

The pain was like nothing I've ever experienced before, not even when that loan shark would hit me and I would bruise for weeks on end. My whole body burned so badly, like it was on fire. My head hurt and I couldn't understand anything around me. All I could feel was the excruciating pain as Jeongin's blood travelled through me, changing every part I once held familiar, transforming it into something new, something different.

Jeongin took me in his arms against his chest, and held me tight as I was going through agony. I held onto him tight as well. It felt like the only one who could keep me anchored through this was him, so I snuggled closer to him and tried to breathe the pain away while he whispered kind words in my ears that I couldn't even hear well, let alone comprehend.

A few minutes later, my eyes grew heavy, and the world went blank.

The next morning, I woke up, still in Jeongin's arms. He was looking at me expectedly. Hunger pangs overcame me completely, and I felt myself unable to stay still.

"Faith..." he started, looking right into my eyes.

"Did it work...?" I asked him, and he chuckled.

"Red eyes suit you. How are you feeling?"

"I'm so, so hungry..." I replied truthfully, and he smiled.

"I'll teach you how we hunt."

"I can't believe I'm a vampire..." I said, snuggling myself closer to Jeongin. He took my face in his hands and kissed me, and my senses were on overdrive. I felt everything amplified a thousand times. Is this what Chan meant about the obsession? Was Jeongin mine, as I was his?

"I'm happy you chose to be with me forever, Faith."

"You also chose me. Thank you for that, Jeongin. I love you. Truly."

"I love you too. Should we go downstairs?"

We stood up and my body felt foreign. I had more strength than ever, and with just a glance outside, I could hear each individual bird singing in trees as far away as the eyes could reach. I was able to hear people's voices that I couldn't even see, listen to their conversations, I could smell the smoke I saw coming from the chimneys in the distance, and each and all my senses were intensified.

We made our way downstairs and the only ones in the kitchen were Chan and Minho.

"Good morning." Chan smiled. "Faith, you... you're different."

"Yes. I feel different, too..."

"I love your new smell. It's no longer... appetising." Minho smirked.

"Welcome to our family." Chan came next to me and took me in his arms, hugging me tight.

"How didn't any of you bite me until now?" I asked. "I feel so hungry and I smell someone like 10 houses over and the only thing I want to do is go and fucking snap their neck and drink their blood."

"You'll learn to control it, eventually." Chan assured me.

"Yea. It's all about self-control, missy." Minho replied, and I playfully slapped his arm.

It's been more than three years since I've been with Stray Kids, and life, as I once knew it, is now completely different. Or should I say death?

My heart stopped beating three years ago, and with it, the need for normal food, water, oxygen and any other things that make humans... human. The only craving I have now is blood, but after a lot of practice, I can now hunt by myself without needing someone else to help me not lose control. I learnt how to pick my prey and how much I can drink from someone without messing up their whole week.

My bond with Stray Kinds only strengthened with time. They are the family I never had, and the love we have for each other transcended even life and death.

It's funny, really. All these years, I tried so desperately hard to believe that the light at the end of the tunnel is not a train, that it wouldn't end up crushing me under its weight. I wanted so hard to believe that life could be different, that things will change. Now, I know that the light at the end of the tunnel has been and will always be Jeongin, who is my love, my sun, my everything, whom I love unconditionally, who made my heart beat even after it stopped beating, who took my breath away even after I stopped breathing. He is my religion, and I am his Faith.

My days are, for the first time ever since I was born, peaceful, tranquil, and the thought that there will only be serene days from now on, next to Jeongin, my husband, and our family, all the vampires in Stray Kids, is the most beautiful thing in the world.

~The End~

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skzhocomments · 1 year

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Leaving what is broken - Jeongin / Seungmin Oneshot Fanfic

Pairing: Jeongin/Seungmin (of Stray Kids) x OC (name: Ari. The story is written in 2nd person, so there's lots of yous)

Genre: mature, angst, romance, fluff

Word Count: ~10k

Warnings: mature, explicit sexual content, cheating, swearing, feelings of hopelessness and uncertainty, angst, crying and others.

This is just a story that doesn’t describe Jeongin or Seungmin’s true characters in any way. It’s just a product of my imagination and should be treated as such.

This story is also on Wattpad: click here.

A/N: As any other writer out there, I would appreciate reblogs and your comments on this story. Please let me know if you enjoyed it, and most importantly, have fun!

~Reposting on this account because the other one never appears in the tags... must be cursed~

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Summary:

Jeongin loves you. That is an absolute, undisputable and undoubtable fact. Everyone who knows you two, knows this as well. You've been each other's firsts in everything. First crush, first embrace, first kiss, first late-night fuck, but most importantly, first love. Neither of you believed in that silly saying about how the first love is certainly going to end badly, that it never works out, so you never believed that Jeongin will also be your first heartbreak.

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Leaving what is broken - Jeongin / Seungmin Oneshot Fanfic

Jeongin loves you.

That is an absolute, undisputable and undoubtable fact.

Everyone who knows you two, knows this as well.

You've been each other's firsts in everything. First crush, first embrace, first kiss, first late-night fuck, but most importantly, first love. Neither of you believed in that silly saying about how the first love is certainly going to end badly, that it never works out, so you never believed that Jeongin will also be your first heartbreak.

In fact, the thought never even passed through your head. You didn't even consider it a possibility.

So, you were totally unprepared.

You both met when you were children, and clicked instantly, no matter how much the kids at school made fun of you for holding hands in 6th grade. It was embarrassing, but you already knew you loved Jeongin, so you could stand through every trial the young adult life put you through.

The first and only problem in your relationship came when he was 16 and told you he wants to do something more with his life, to leave the small, quiet mountain town you both grew up in, and to pursue a career in the music industry. He was a talented singer, and you always complimented his voice when he sang you love ballads, and that gave him the courage he needed to audition.

You were happy, and you supported him unconditionally and encouraged him to do it. You knew he could, even when he wasn't sure of it himself. You just knew he had it in him, and that he was made for greater things that this small town could offer him.

You were there when he heard back from this big company in Seoul called JYP Entertainment, you held his hand booking train tickets together so that he can go through the final trial that ultimately got him in, and you were there, in the hotel room, waiting for his practice to end so that you can hug and congratulate him for proving you what you already knew: that he could do whatever he set his heart to.

You are still here today, 5 years later, in your shared apartment he bought for the two of you.

When he got accepted in the company, you didn't know how you were going to do it. Both of you were still in high school, but you decided to move with him to Seoul, where you didn't know anyone, to get a job to be able to support you living there as well since Jeongin was not getting paid much at first, and you two kept being together, no matter how successful he got.

He loves you. You know it. You are sure of it. It just doesn't feel like he loves you that much lately, though, since you are damned to spend yet another anniversary alone. Dinner already got cold on the table, his wine glass stayed untouched while you emptied and refilled yours for at least 5 times now, but what hurts the most is glancing at your phone, empty of any messages to at least acknowledge the fact that you've been together for exactly 12 years.

It hurts.

What Jeongin is doing right now in one of the bathroom stalls at work would make anyone question his love for you, but ever since he met you when you were 10, and even now, 12 years later, he's been in love with you, undoubtedly so. You're still the reason he gets up in the morning, his favourite person, and the one he wants to grow old with.

Why is he doing this?

Why is he letting this intern choke on his dick while he rolls his head back and moans in pleasure?

Why is he pushing her head down and caressing her face lovingly, encouraging her that she can, indeed, take it, even if her whole face is smeared with make-up and snot and she's clearly struggling?

Why is he loving the sounds she makes when she also moans in pleasure deep-throating him, the string of saliva uniting her tongue and his dick when she removes her face to take a few breaths, and the way she grips his hips to support herself on the ground?

It's hard to explain.

You were his first, and that was enough in the small mountain town. It was enough the first 3 years when his team was struggling with their debut and the many comebacks. You were there, you comforted him, and you stayed by his side no matter how hard he unloaded his disappointment, frustrations, or insecurities onto you. Whatever he would tell you, you always had the right words that would make him feel better and that would keep him going.

But something's changed in the past 2 years. His band was finally starting to become successful, people started to notice him, and he loved it. This was, after all, the sole reason why he wanted to get out of the town: to make a name for himself, to be seen by others.

With all this new-found attention, he found himself surrounded by many beautiful girls who would give their all to just get 5 minutes of his time, and he found himself become curious.

He was young and successful, he won't always be in his twenties, and who knows how long this attention was going to last?

He loved it. But he also loved you. There was an undeniable conflict inside his heart regarding you vs. all the girls he could have fun with, so he started to put boundaries. He never let himself get caught in situations where he would spend time one-on-one with someone he was attracted to, but his defences quickly failed seeing that his bandmates wouldn't follow the same rules and had fun anytime they wanted, and he got jealous.

He envied his friends for not having someone waiting for them at home, for being able to live the way they wanted to and have fun with anyone and anywhere, no strings attached.

He found himself wanting it as well more and more, and besides, you were always going to be there for him. You were the one he was going to grow white with, so a little fun he has with someone random you wouldn't even find out of would inevitably satisfy his primal urges and would not hurt anyone.

Plus, it's not like he's emotionally cheating on you. He loves you, that much he knows, and he found it out again and again each time he came home after having sex with a random bimbo. You were still the one he wanted to come back to, so he started building all sorts of thoughts and ideas in his head that would justify his unfaithfulness. He's never seen the same girl twice, and he never let anyone else find out of his rendezvous, because he wanted everyone to know and respect you as his one and only girl.

You wish you didn't know. Fuck, you truly wish. You wish you'd stayed oblivious, because now that you know, there's no way to take it back.

You were still waiting for him sat down at your failed anniversary dinner table in your empty apartment, with no text whatsoever letting you know that he's going to be late.

It's true that you didn't specifically mention anything about the anniversary, but you did make plans to meet up at 8 in your apartment, so where was he? You didn't expect him to forget.

He wasn't supposed to have anything else tonight. Sure, Stray Kids won a prize in the morning, and there was supposed to be an after party or something, but he promised you that he will come spend the evening with you, so where was he?

You didn't know.

So you called.

And called.

And only on the 4th call, almost one hour later, he picked up.

Only he didn't answer intentionally.

"Jeongin?" You asked, your voice hopeful. Maybe he wanted to celebrate with his teammates a bit, that's why he was running late.

You only heard small moans on the other side, but still, the thought of him cheating was impossible to you, so you assumed it was just bad signal.

"Baby? Can you hear me?" You asked again and listened closely to the other line.

"Oh God, just like that." You heard Jeongin's voice, and froze.

"Does that feel good?" The voice of a girl echoed through your ear, and you heard your boyfriend moan in pleasure.

You almost dropped your phone from the shaking of your hands.

"Jeongin...?" You asked again to no avail.

"Yes baby, you're so good at this." He praised whoever was there with him.

"You're so big, fuck, I've never had someone stretch me as good as you do."

"You're doing so well, love. Come on, move faster."

"Am I your girl?"

"Of course." He moaned. "Who else? And what a good girl you are..."

No.

This was not happening.

No way this is Jeongin.

You looked at the caller ID, and your heart fell out of your chest again when you saw that you didn't call someone else by mistake.

No.

"I wish you would cum in me, baby" The girl whined. "Can't we take off the condom?"

"No... I told you I can't do it, love..."

"But Innie, I want you to fill me..."

No.

No way.

You hastily closed the call and felt your breathing become ragged, a panic attack creeping in. The walls were getting closer, and you tried to stand up from the table, but managed to fall down somehow, your knees giving in, knocking your empty glass wine off the table onto the floor and breaking it in the process.

There were glass shards all over the floor, as you sobbed on your knees and bled from the few small cuts on your arms from the debris.

You didn't even feel them, for the pain in your heart was too powerful. Your stomach became a knot, and you felt yourself become dizzy, wanting nothing more than to throw up.

What is happening?

Why...?

Why is this happening to me...?

What are you supposed to do now?

You sobbed and sobbed and couldn't remember how you got the phone from the table in your hands, and dialled someone, one of your only friends ever since coming here, who happened to be one of Jeongin's bandmates.

"Ari, love, what's up?" Seungmin replied cheerfully after a few rings, loud music in the background.

You felt bad for calling him. Of course he was celebrating the prize they just received in the morning.

You couldn't bring yourself to say anything.

"Wait, let me get out of here, I can't hear anything." He continued, and after a few seconds, it was almost quiet on the other side, faint sounds from the party he just left being heard.. "Kay, I'm out, how did the dinner go? Did you manage to burn the steak?" He asked you mockingly, and you started sobbing again, loudly.

Your heart was breaking, and you didn't know what to do, what to say, or how to externalise how destroyed you were feeling.

You told Seungmin a few days ago that your anniversary was coming soon, and he seemed so happy for you, he even sent you his favourite steak recipe for you to cook and surprise Jeongin with.

All of it was in vain.

"Hey, what's wrong? Are you crying? Did the idiot do something?!" your friend seemed alarmed. "Ari, please say something, your silence is worrying me."

You gathered all the force you had left in you and breathed in deeply, before finally telling him what happened.

"Min... please... help me." You cried. "He's- oh, God. He's cheating on me."

"WHAT?!" Seungmin shouted, unable to believe his ears. "No, this can't be..." He shook his head, denying. It was impossible. Jeongin loves you.

"Please... please help me. I don't think... I can go through this on my own..."

Seungmin ran as fast as he could and grabbed a cab, trying to calm you down as much as possible over the phone. He started telling you all sorts of stories from his childhood during the 20-minute ride to your apartment, he shared funny things that happened when he was in school, and he tried to distract you from your feelings somehow. You weren't saying anything, but your sobs have quieted down, so he knew that he at least managed to keep you there, as composed as possible, while he was on the way.

He knew your door code; him and Jeongin were best friends, after all, and he was also very close to you himself. He didn't view you as "Jeongin's girlfriend". For him, you were just as important, and you were your own, individual person that he got to know and love during the 5 years he's been within JYPE, and he admired you a lot for your bubbly personality and for how you'd always wear your heart on your sleeve.

He let himself in and ran towards the kitchen, seeing you on your knees on the floor, small shards of glass around you.

One of your hands was bleeding a bit, and you kept your face down, phone still pressed on your ear.

You were a mess.

He's never seen you like this.

You didn't notice him getting inside the house. You weren't able to hear or see anymore. You just felt. And you felt too much.

"Ari?" Seungmin ran to you, taking you into his embrace and holding onto you, as if to wake you up somehow. Your phone fell out of your hand and your arms wrapped around his neck, so he took this chance to pick you up.

You were dressed nicely, in a beautiful red knee-length dress. Seungmin didn't understand how Jeongin could do this to you, who were so perfect, who supported him unconditionally, to the point of moving 5 hours away from the only home you knew to a foreign city where you barely found any friends to hang out with, always too busy making sure that you abided by Jeongin's schedule so you could spend as much time as possible with him.

He couldn't understand and didn't want to believe it, but seeing you like this made it clear that you were telling the truth.

He took you to the bathroom to clean you up and bandage the small wounds on your arms and he tried to ask you about what happened.

"I called him... and he answered accidentally. He was... fucking someone." You clarified between sobs.

"No way..."

"I couldn't believe it either... What did I do wrong, Min?" You asked, almost in a whisper.

"Nothing. You didn't do anything wrong. Don't blame yourself." He replied, gaze cold, as all respect he once held towards Jeongin, who was closest to him in age, was gone.

"What do I do?" You asked again, panic lacing your tone. "I don't know where to go... but I can't stay here."

"Let's pack your clothes... we'll go to my place."

"Min, what if he comes back while we pack?" You cried. You couldn't see Jeongin again. After what he did to you, he didn't deserve even that.

Maybe that made you vengeful, but he deserved to get his heart broken by your absence, just as much as you got yours by his cheating, that is, if he even loved you at all.

You started to doubt it. How could anyone that loves you do this to you? He was supposed to be your person. And you were supposed to be his one and only.

All love went down the drain, heartbreak taking its place.

"Okay, you know what? Screw it." Seungmin helped you stand up. "We'll just... buy new clothes, you don't need to take anything with you. Let's go."

Seungmin grabbed your hand and dragged you out, when he noticed your wallet on the small cabinet near the door. He grabbed it, before continuing to get you two out of the apartment. You glanced back once more before he closed the door, and the place that once held so much warmth in your soul, now simply felt cold and empty.

Jeongin always thought you would be there.

As soon as he was done chasing his pleasure for the night, he jumped into a cab, wanting to come home to you.

Your anniversary was tomorrow, so you would probably be surprised to see him come by earlier. He took the next day off just to spend the whole time with you, and he had many things prepared. He wanted to take you out on a nice dinner and felt that he was finally ready to give you the one thing you've been hoping for since you were young.

He bought a ring, ordered a big bouquet of flowers, and had the next day ready to the notch to make it the most memorable anniversary. You deserved this much and more.

Once he got out of the cab, he started leisurely walking towards your apartment building. He was feeling so good, like he was on top of the world. He loved having the best of both worlds, messing around and then having someone to come home to that loved him unconditionally.

Except, this time, you weren't there.

The deafening silence as soon as he stepped through the door made that much clear.

Is she cheating on me? He thought, then cursed himself for projecting on you. After all, you've never given him any reasons to think that, but where could you be so late at night on a Tuesday?

He pulled out his phone and noticed several missed calls from you, and he got worried. Did something happen to you while he was gone? Is that why you weren't home?

However, your phone rang in the house, confusing Jeongin even more. He headed towards the kitchen and noticed a terrible sight: a meal for two carefully prepared and placed on the table, one full glass of wine, and the remains of another scattered all over the floor.

The bottle stood empty on the table, overturned. Did you drink it all?

There were also small red droplets on the ground, which he thought were out of spilled wine, but at closer inspection, he realised that they were blood.

Taking everything into account, it finally clicked.

Your anniversary wasn't tomorrow. It was today.

And he messed up big time.

Seungmin called a taxi for the two of you while you tried to stop crying, but still, the tears wouldn't stop flowing. It felt like your whole life flashed in front of your eyes, the once happy memories now making you sour. It didn't help that Jeongin has been such a big part of your life. At this point, you spent more years holding his hand than you spent holding your own, and you no longer knew how to live without him.

You couldn't remember how your life was before meeting Jeongin.

How were you supposed to keep on living?

Seungmin knew Jeongin was going to propose to you tonight, so how could it make any sense that he was out somewhere cheating on you? He loved you so much. Seungmin knew that more than anyone else, being friends to both of you. He was at times even jealous of your relationship, and he so desperately wanted to find someone to love him unconditionally like you loved Jeongin.

He felt horrible. It was like he was experiencing all your feelings as well, but the thing that annoyed him the most was how powerless he was being faced with this situation. He could only watch your heartbreak from the sidelines, and his heart tightened in his chest so much seeing how sad and fragile you looked, breaking down in front of him. What could he do?

One thing was sure, though. He was going to take care of you, that much he knew. But other than that... what? How could he support you?

He held your hand in the taxi tightly as you cried. A friendly gesture. Neither of you cared that the driver was throwing daggers his way, as if Seungmin was the one who wronged you.

When the cab finally arrived in front Seungmin's apartment building, he helped you get out of the car. You didn't look like you were really there. He knew. He noticed that your eyes were not necessarily focusing on anything around you, so it was clear as day that you were hiding somewhere in your mind, trying to make sense of everything.

So, he just held your hand and walked with you until you reached his apartment.

"Wanna take a shower?" Seungmin asked after you took off the high heels you bought just for tonight.

You nodded and went to the bathroom, closing the door behind you without locking it. Despite being friends for so many years, you've never come to Seungmin's apartment. Most outings would be spent either at yours and Jeongin's, or at the dorm where all the boys slept, should they be too busy to return home.

You wondered if Jeongin ever lied to you and told you he's spending the night in the dorms, just to actually spend it with some other girl. Maybe even the one that moaned his name in your ear one hour ago.

You were glad to be in an unfamiliar space that held no memories of your love.

You took off the straps on your shoulder that were holding the dress on your body, letting it fall to the ground. You simply discarded it there, on the floor, stepping on it as if it was nothing. You wanted to burn it; forget you ever bought it. Forget you ever wore it, for it held a lot of meaning, and you hated everything about it now. You hated it. The red was too red, and you loathed it with all your being. You felt the same way towards the red lacy lingerie you've bought for tonight, and if it once reminded you of the passion between you and Jeongin, it now only reminded you of your bloodied, struggling heart. So, you took that off as well, almost throwing up at the sight of it. It was supposed to be discarded on the floor while you made love to Jeongin, not here, in Seungmin's bathroom, while you cried out in agony.

You stepped into the shower and turned the faucet on, letting the cold water hit your skin mercilessly. The cold soon turned to hot, and you found yourself crouched on the floor sobbing your heart out once more. Your make-up was smeared, your thoughts all over the place.

You don't know how long you stayed in there. You only know that you heard Seungmin's voice on the other side of the door asking you if you are okay, at some point.

You weren't, so you didn't say anything.

"Ari, please reply to me, let me know you're okay."

You didn't have the energy.

"Ari, I'm worried about you. Please say something."

You barely heard him. The water felt nice on your skin.

"If you don't give me any sign that you're okay in there in the next 30 seconds I'm going to come in."

Fuck, you couldn't focus on anything. What did he say?

Seungmin tried the handle and was glad to see that the door was unlocked. He came in the bathroom and saw you in the shower. You looked devastated.

He didn't want to invade your privacy, but it was clear that you weren't exactly capable of taking care of yourself right now. He came next to you and just hugged you, not caring about the water wetting his clothes.

He held onto you as your sobs became louder, and his heart broke with yours.

After he heard you calm down a bit, he grabbed some cleanser and wiped your face off all the make-up. He felt bad; you must've spent a lot of time doing your best to look as pretty as possible tonight, not that you had to try too hard. You were extremely beautiful, he always thought so. But he was sad for you, for what happened to this make-up, for what happened to you.

Seungmin turned off the water and grabbed a big towel, wrapping it around you, covering you with it.

"You're all wet." You spoke, surprising him. You've been silent this whole time. He became a bit hopeful that you're still there, not completely taken over by dark thoughts.

"Yea." He chuckled. "See how wet you made me?"

"That's what she said." You joked a bit, making Seungmin laugh. You were broken, but seeing him happy made you a bit happier as well, so you cracked a small smile.

Seungmin didn't realise how much he missed the old you who would smile all the time, who looked like she had no care in the world, until he saw the slight upward curve of your lips.

He liked it so much.

"You are so beautiful when you smile." He told you sincerely.

"Not beautiful enough for Jeongin, apparently." You whispered and let Seungmin help you stand up from the floor and guide you to his bedroom.

"He's an idiot. I can't believe he would do something like that..."

"Yea. Me neither." You replied. It was truly shocking, and you still couldn't quite comprehend why you weren't enough.

"Ari... how do you want to go about this?" Seungmin asks you, his back turned to you as he rummaged through his closet to pull out some clothes for you to wear.

"I don't... want to see him." You spoke lowly. "I can't."

"Okay."

"What am I supposed to do, Min? Where do I go?"

"What do you mean?"

"I have... nowhere. I can't go back to the apartment..."

"Since he fucked up this much, I'm sure he would at least give you that apartment, even if you end up breaking up..." Seungmin said.

"We did break up. Tonight. I don't want anything to do with him anymore." You sighed. "But that... was not the point. I don't want that apartment. Too many memories. I can't even go back home because every damn place there is stained with him. What... do I do? Where do I go?" You felt yourself wanting to cry again but tried to stop the tears from falling. You already had a horrible headache.

"You stay here. We'll think it through together."

"Here?"

"Of course. You're my friend, and I want to help you." Seungmin said and sat down next to you on the bed, grabbing your right hand and holding it tightly.

"I don't want to bother you... I've already gone out of my way and ruined your night of partying." You spoke sadly.

"Fuck partying. If you're not feeling well, I want to be there with you."

"Okay... but can you please not tell him I'm here? I really don't want to see him again, Min."

"Of course. I won't tell him anything." He hugged you. "We'll figure it out."

Jeongin became frantic. He understood that he fucked up by not showing up. Fuck, he was so busy with the latest comeback and the full schedule that he completely messed up the days.

He understood that, but where did you go? Why did you leave the phone home? Why were there blood stains on the floor?

Where were you?

He pulled out his phone again and checked his messages to see if you perhaps left him something. He was disappointed to see that you didn't.

Then, he opened his call history to call his best friend, Seungmin. Maybe you were with him. After all, you didn't have many other friends you could go to anyway.

Opening it up, he froze. Besides the few missed calls from you, he noticed that there was a call that went on for almost 5 minutes... one hour prior.

This can't be...

He denied, and looked at the timestamp, hoping that he read it wrong.

There's no way that you called during that time. There's no way he accidentally answered.

There's no way you heard him be unfaithful to you.

But even if you did hear, he couldn't believe you actually left.

You were supposed to always be there. So why? Why did you leave?

In a panicked frenzy, he picked up your phone and looked in your call history as well. There were a few missed calls towards him, that call, and Seungmin's number.

He called Seungmin, who picked up after a few rings.

"Min, is she with you?"

"Who?" his friend replied, unaffected.

"Don't play dumb, I saw she called you!"

"Ari?" Seungmin asked, still with the same unaltered tone.

"YES, SEUNGMIN. ARI." Jeongin articulated the words and shouted, desperate. "Please tell me she's with you. Can I come over? I need to see her. I need to talk to her."

"Hold on. What happened?" Seungmin asked.

"You don't know?!"

"I'm not sure what you're talking about Innie. Calm down a bit and talk me through it."

"I'm not sure what you're talking about Innie. Calm down a bit and talk me through it." Seungmin spoke, holding your hand. His phone was on speaker, and he only answered because you urged him to, even if he didn't exactly want to talk to Jeongin.

"Fuck, okay." Jeongin was hyperventilating. "I think... Ari heard something she shouldn't have..."

"I'm not sure I follow?" Seungmin replied, unimpressed. He wanted to hear it from Jeongin himself. "What did she hear?"

"I... fuck, this sounds so bad. I swear it's not like it sounds. I had sex with someone else, and she called, and-"

"Hold on." Seungmin interrupted him. "You cheated on her, is that what you're saying?"

"No! I mean, it was only physical, she wasn't supposed to find out-"

"Wow, you're a piece of shit." Seungmin cursed, as soon as he saw your eyes swell up with tears again. He held your hand tighter.

"Please tell me she's with you. I'm begging you. I need to know she's okay. I need to talk to her and explain."

"What's there to explain? And no, she's not here."

"Don't lie to me!" He shouted again. "I saw she called you!" He repeated.

"She did." Seungmin affirmed. "She asked me to lend her some money, so I asked her to come to the company, and we met up."

"How did she look? Did she seem sad?"

"I don't think so?" Seungmin spoke, unsure. "I didn't notice anything wrong."

"How much money did you give her?"

"I'm not sure, I just gave her my card to withdraw however much she needs, she gave it back and left."

"And you didn't find that suspicious? You didn't ask her anything? You just gave her the card?!"

"Why would I ask anything? It's not my job to coddle or cosset her. Of course I gave her my card, I would do so for any of my friends if they need something. You know that."

"Yes... yes. Fuck. Okay. Maybe she went to a hotel?!"

"I don't know, Innie. Why did you cheat on her?"

"I don't know! I mean, I just wanted to have fun! I really love her, I swear! I wanted to propose on our anniversary, you know that!" Jeongin said hastily, and Seungmin noticed how your heart dropped.

"You wanted to propose... but you slept with someone else?"

"She didn't mean anything, I never slept with the same girl twice-"

"Hold on." Seungmin said, not believing what he was hearing. You didn't seem to be able to believe it either. "You're saying... you cheated multiple times?"

"I told you, it wasn't really cheating! It was purely physical! Ari is the most important thing to me..."

"You're a dumbass." Seungmin scolded him. "The biggest idiot I've ever met."

"I know. I really am an idiot. How do I get her to talk to me? Where did she even go?!"

"You should calm the fuck down first." Seungmin instructed. "And then be responsible for once and own up to your actions."

"But-"

"And if she leaves you, you have to take it."

"What do you mean? She can't- She won't leave me for this, right?"

"Wouldn't you leave yourself?"

"Seungmin! But... she was supposed to be there for me..."

"Look, I'm in the middle of something, and I have no empathy for you right now, so I'm gonna end the call. Let's talk tomorrow." Seungmin spoke hastily, then hung up.

"Wow..." You said, still in denial that Jeongin had not only cheated on you, but he did so multiple times, with multiple different people. Were you that insignificant to him? How could he claim he loves you? How dare he want to propose to you, to tie you two together, when your love life feels like the biggest lie ever told?

"I'm simply speechless." Seungmin held your hand tight.

"Min... tell me. Am I that... undeserving of being loved right? What did I do... to deserve this?"

"Ari, love, you didn't do anything. He's just a piece of crap." He shook his head, still trying to process everything. He would've never, in a million years, seen it coming. "You've been perfect all along. Okay?" He tried to reassure you, but you weren't feeling it.

"Can I go to sleep?" You asked, your voice low. You just wanted to lay in bed and die.

"Sure. Take the bed, and I'm gonna go sleep on the couch."

"Okay..."

You laid in bed stirring from left to right, barely able to fall asleep. When you did, you were gone for 15-20 minutes max before you got woken up by another nightmare where Jeongin was having sex with someone else, so you found yourself giving up on sleep altogether and going to the living room to check on Seungmin, who was fast asleep on the couch.

He would probably have a full day tomorrow, so you didn't wake him up.

You made your way towards the kitchen and rummaged through the cabinets to find some tea, and just as you poured your cup, he walked into the room, confusion plastered all over his face.

"Ari? You okay?" He spoke, his voice groggy.

"Yea. Just couldn't sleep. You should take the bed, Min, I can't fall asleep anyway."

"What time is it?" He asked, confused.

"I'm not sure... I left my phone back at the apartment..." You looked away. You wonder if Jeongin would've texted you if you brought your phone with you. If he would've tried calling.

He seemed to want to talk earlier.

No. What he did is unforgivable, so it doesn't matter.

"It's better that way." Seungmin said, shaking his head.

"Huh?" You replied, forgetting for a second what he was referring to.

"Leaving your phone there..."

"Oh... I guess..."

"Are you... breaking up with him for real?"

"I mean," you chuckled, "should I stay? After he broke my heart like that? Would you stay?"

"No... of course not."

"It really sucks." You finished pouring down your tee and took the mug, placing it on the kitchen table. You sat down and watched the steam rise up in the air and tried to forget it all.

"Yea." Seungmin agreed, pouring down a cup himself while yawning.

"You could've told me you want some tea as well, I would've-"

"That's okay." He waved his hand around to brush you off.

"Min, you should really go to sleep... when do you have to go to the company?"

"We have a day off tomorrow, actually."

"Oh." You let your head down, avoiding his gaze.

"So, what should we do tomorrow? What's the plan?" He asked you, making you raise your head to look back at him.

"The plan...? I don't know, Min."

"You need a phone, and some clothes, so we should go get them."

"Can't we just order them? I don't feel like going out..."

"No. You can't just stay in bed absentmindedly losing yourself. We will go out, have a fun time shopping, eat good food, then sleep."

"And then... what? What do I do, Min?" You stood up and found your wallet, counting all the cash you kept inside. Not much, unfortunately. "I don't have enough money to move out-"

"I'll help you."

"Wait, I'm not finished. Even if I did, do I stay here, in Seoul? Should I go back and have my parents scold me for no longer being with Jeongin? Should I go back where he can also find me? It sucks so bad." You covered your face with your hands, annoyed by every damn thing around you.

Seungmin hummed, feeling that you still wanted to rant a bit more.

"I'm so upset. Should I quit my job at the Café? I mean, it's not like I can keep it, Jeongin will come look after me there first things first tomorrow morning. But if I quit it, how the fuck am I going to pay for anything? I obviously don't want to use his money anymore. Fuck, I can't even check how much is on my card with my phone being at the apartment..."

"Hey, let's calm down a bit. We'll take everything step by step." Seungmin spoke, wanting to comfort you. You were definitely overthinking it, and he didn't want to let you do that to yourself.

"How the fuck am I supposed to calm down?"

"That's fair. I say we think first of what you should do in terms of staying in Seoul or going back to your hometown. Obviously, if you stay here, you have a place to stay, which is this apartment."

"Seungmin, you're the best friend in the world, but I can't burden you like that. I will take advantage of your kindness for a few days max, until I figure it out."

"Love, you would never burden me. You're a very important friend, so of course I'm going to want to help you as much as I can." He found your hand on the table and held onto it for a few seconds to comfort you, before removing it. "If you want to move out, I'll help pay for an apartment, but why would we do that, when this one here is barely being used? I'm almost always in the dorms."

"You say that, but what if you'd want to bring someone home?" You chuckled nervously.

"What, to have sex?" Seungmin laughed. "There are hotels for that, Ari. And besides, I've never brought anyone here."

"Really?" You raised an eyebrow, not really believing it. You did know Seungmin had various flings along the years, nothing serious, so it wasn't that shocking, but he had a few relationships that lasted for a few months – didn't he bring anyone back here?

"Yep." He nodded. "So my point is, why pay for something when we already have one ready for you? Stay here."

"Okay... but what would I even do here, Min? I barely have any friends, and I'll soon be jobless."

"What would you do back home?" He shrugged. "It would be kind of the same, but with all the memories, wouldn't it?"

"Yea, you're right."

"You can always find another job you like here. It's a big city."

"It just sucks because I'm not good at anything."

"Don't say that." He scolded you.

"It's true, though. The only thing I was good at was loving him, and even that wasn't enough..."

"Hey."

"All I'm saying is, no wonder he cheated on me, since I'm so dumb and can't do anything right."

"You're not dumb, Ari. You're one of the most clever people I've ever met."

"Min, you always call me dumb." You joked, knowing how much he usually likes to tease you when you do something stupid.

"In a loving way! God!" He laughed. "Okay, we're going to go even more into the basics, then. "What do you like to do?"

"Uhm... I'm not sure? Cooking, maybe? I like baking sweets..." You replied, lost in thought. What did you like to do besides spending time with Jeongin?

"Great! We're starting with that, then. What if you do a course and get a certification on it? Then maybe you can open up a small bakery or something."

"That sounds... kinda nice, actually."

"Wanna look tomorrow into some programs?" Seungmin smiled as you nodded, a smile on your face. It felt like a good idea to do something for yourself. Until now, you always wanted to be as free as possible and adjusted your schedule as much as you could to fit Jeongin's, so you never really did things for yourself.

Thinking about it, you realise you've been living more for him than you did for you. What a stupid mistake.

The next day, Seungmin took you shopping as promised. He drove you to a mall in a nearby city, wanting to minimise the chances of someone recognising him.

He first bought you a phone, then you went to several stores and bought a whole new wardrobe for you. By the end of the day there were so many bags in the car, you feared there was not enough space to fit everything.

You also went out to eat at a cute restaurant, and even if you barely had an appetite, you indulged Seungmin and finished everything he put in front of you on the table.

You felt grateful to have him as a friend.

It's been a few days and no sight of you. Jeongin was becoming desperate. He called up all your friends, but no one knew anything about a break-up, and after a week he finally decided to talk to your parents.

"She's not here." They told him. "She sent us a text to let us know that if you call, to tell you she's doing fine, and that she wishes to be left alone for the time being, and that it's over. But Innie, you do know that we love you like you're our son, right? Please know we don't agree with our stupid daughter. Forgive her when she finally comes to her senses."

Forgive you? What is there to forgive? He's the one who screwed up.

Not knowing anything about you fucked with his head so much, he started messing up on choreographies. Everyone seemed upset with him when they ultimately heard of what he did, and Chan even scolded him for throwing away what you two had for some casual sex.

The one who seemed the most upset of it all, though, was Seungmin. He would barely look at him, and if he did, he would have grimace written all over his face.

Still, Seungmin insisted he didn't know anything about you, no matter how much he would ask.

Three months later, you were definitely making progress. You started going to a Cooking Academy Seungmin found for you. He enrolled you into a 12-month program where you would learn how to cook all sorts of desserts, so you were quite excited to go through with all of it.

Mentally, though, you were still hurt. You haven't spoken to Jeongin at all, or even seen him, besides on TV when you watched Stray Kids' newest music videos or award show performances. You wanted to see them for Seungmin, even if he insisted you didn't have to. Still, Seungmin was your best friend, and you wanted to engage in what he was doing, as much as he engaged in conversations about baking school with you.

It was hard at first to see Jeongin on TV. He didn't look good; he was haggard and skinnier, and no amount of make-up could hide the emptiness in his eyes. You felt bad for him, for never giving him the chance to explain himself, but what good would it have done? You knew you would never be able to forgive him. But you watched all the content for Seungmin, who's quite literally been your rock ever since the break-up.

You started enjoying Seungmin's company more and more, and you liked how invested he was in your new-found baking passion, and in bettering yourself.

"... and that's apparently how macarons are made. It's quite a simple recipe, but if you mess up the consistency of the batter, the macarons would be too crunchy. You can also mess up the buttercream, so yea, it's tough." You laughed, watching Seungmin follow you closely.

"That's so cool though!"

"Right?! And there are so many flavours too! How am I supposed to remember how to do all of them?"

"We should maybe go and raid all the bakeries in town and buy all the flavours to check your future competition." He joked, making you laugh.

Every day it was getting easier and easier for you to smile, and you knew Seungmin had everything to do with it. You started liking the attention he was giving you, and that was a bit scary.

"Ari...? I don't want you to take it the wrong way, but... May I suggest something?"

"Yea?" You smiled, not sure of what he wanted to say.

"I love seeing you a bit happier... but I know."

"You know...?" You asked, unsure of what he meant.

"I know you still cry yourself to sleep every night, and I know you're only functioning when I'm around you and force you to gulp down food and stay hydrated and exercise." He looked at you blankly. You didn't really want to have this conversation.

"I don't know what you-"

"Ari." He grabbed your hand. "It's okay to get help. I think it would be really beneficial if you sought out counselling. You should learn how to process this grief in a healthy way. What do you say?"

Of course, he was right. After all, you weren't the best at processing your emotions, and you still held a lot of resentment towards Jeongin. You also weren't sure if you would ever be able to trust someone in a future possible relationship.

"Yea... that would be good."

"Great! Shall we look at therapists together?" Seungmin smiled.

Jeongin was in the practice room with the boys, finishing up a choreography.

He found that not even the weekly sex he would have with someone random would do the trick anymore. He missed you.

He got better at hiding it, though. He no longer screwed up when singing or dancing, but he still loved you like crazy, and was still in denial that you actually left and that he hasn't heard from you in 11 months now.

"It's her birthday and I can't even text her..." He complained to Seungmin. They weren't that close anymore, but he still considered him a friend.

"That sucks." The boy replied indifferently, and Jeongin felt once again completely disregarded.

"Why are you punishing me, hm?! Isn't it enough that Ari's been doing it for almost a year?!"

"I don't think she's punishing you, man." Seungmin shrugged.

"What if she's not doing well? I want to be there for her!"

"Didn't you say you've been calling her parents lately and that she updates them regularly to let them know she's fine? She's probably just doing her best to keep going without you. Let her be."

"But I miss her so much... By the way, who are you texting so happily? I swear you've been grinning like an idiot for 10 minutes straight."

"No one." Seungmin quickly closed his phone. "Just a friend."

"What about Ari, have you talked to her?"

"No, not really." He shrugged. "She did contact me to return the money she borrowed, but that was pretty much it."

"So you have her number?! Give it to me!" Jeongin stood up from the floor and ran towards Seungmin, who scoffed.

"I don't. She asked me to delete it and to never contact her again."

"She really doesn't want to have anything to do with us anymore, huh?" Jeongin looked away.

"Happy birthday!" Seungmin shouted, coming through the door of the apartment with a big cake in his hands.

"Min? You're home?" You ran out from the living room to meet him at the door and take the cake from his hands while he took off his shoes. "I thought you had practice today!" You shouted from the kitchen before running back into his arms like a kid.

"Nope, all free to spend time with my most precious friend on her birthday!" He praised you and hugged you tightly.

"Thank you. I'm happy to see you. But I'm not even dressed properly!" You whined about how you only wore some trousers and a T-shirt, not even bothering to put on a bra since you weren't aware that you'd have company. You moved a bit away, your arms still around his neck.

You wanted to kiss him.

You already knew you've been having feelings for him for a while, as your therapist walked you through all these complicated things in your heart for a while.

But still, you didn't.

"How was your day?" You asked, walking back to the kitchen to cut off two pieces of the cake.

"Wait! You have to blow out the candles first." Seungmin pulled out a pack of multicolour spiral candles and put them clumsily on the cake, as he started singing Happy Birthday to you. He had a beautiful voice.

It was weird. This was the first birthday without Jeongin in the past 13 years, but you weren't really sad. Sure, it was bittersweet, but you didn't feel as devastated about it as you thought you would.

Hearing Seungmin sing did bring a few tears to your eyes, though, and before he was able to finish the song, you went to him and hugged him again, putting your arms around his neck and pulling him closer to you. The last chorus was whispered between you two.

"So... what is your wish, Ari?" He whispered in your ear once the song was over, his hands touching the back of your waist, making you quiver a bit.

"I think... I have everything someone could wish for, Min." You spoke softly. "I have you."

"Mhm." He hummed. "You do."

He was the one to move his head away this time, and he looked deeply in your eyes. The only light in the room were the burning candles on your birthday cake that you didn't want to bother with at that moment.

You liked Seungmin.

And you wanted to kiss him.

And the way his eyes kept moving to your lips told you that he wanted to kiss you too.

So, with a leap of courage, you pressed your lips against his and closed your eyes tightly.

He didn't push you away. On the contrary, his hands on your back brought you closer to him, and he deepened the kiss, his tongue circling your upper lip.

You opened your mouth and tasted him, and it felt like none of the cakes you were going to bake in the Academy would even come close to how sweet he tasted on your tongue.

You tugged his collar before letting your hands fall to his chest, your fingers fighting with the small stubborn buttons that didn't want to pop open.

When you were finally successful in your contest and his torso was naked, you let your hands roam on him to feel his muscles.

He placed his hands on yours and stopped you from examining him further, then spun you around, pressing his body to yours. You felt his bulge on your bum and felt an incredibly uncomfortable feeling of needing to be touched right then and there.

"Blow out the candles first, love." He whispered in your ear, his hands moving from your stomach to your chest, cupping your breasts and squeezing them, making you let your head fall back, on his shoulder, and moan in pleasure.

"Come on." He moved his hands back down and got them under your shirt this time, his fingers grazing the sensitive skin on your abdomen, moving higher and higher, until they were on your bare breasts.

"Fuck." You moaned, but tried to focus on the task at hand, knowing that Seungmin was waiting for you.

You followed his directions and watched the room become dark as you blew out all of the candles in one breath, and your heart started beating faster in anticipation as Seungmin's hand played with your boobs, fingers slowly massaging your nipples.

"Should we go to the bedroom?" He spoke, letting you go for a bit, waiting to hear you either accept or deny his proposal.

Neither of you thought that what you were about to do was wrong, and you were glad that there weren't any feelings of guiltiness shared, since Seungmin was genuinely a gentleman who let you process and discover your feelings in your own rhythm. He also didn't think he's ever going to end up in this position with you, as he never allowed himself to think of you as an available woman, but once you broke up with Jeongin and started spending so much time with him, everything came by naturally.

He had the biggest crush on you, and he was glad to see that you were reciprocating.

You grabbed Seungmin's hand and guided him to the bedroom, where he started kissing you again. Your breaths became one, and your feelings for the other were growing with each piece of clothing that would fall on the floor.

Once both of you were naked, he guided you to the bed and pressed his body on yours, his member at your already wet enough entrance. However, he didn't want to go about your first time together this way. He wanted to get as much as possible of you, so he sprawled wet kisses all over your body, before letting his head fall between your legs, licking your needy pussy.

You moaned each time he would lick you up, and when his tongue started teasing your entrance, you became needier than ever.

"Please, Min. I want you. No, I need you inside me." You whined, pulling on his hair and hoping he would give it to you as soon as possible.

He obliged, as he got on top of you and kissed you deeply, his dick sliding into you with ease. You were so ready for him, he almost burst out at the intense feeling.

His thrusts became eager, as your hands roamed on your body and left scratch marks on his back whenever he would get more intense.

"Fuck, Min, you are the best." You moaned and praised him, all your previous times having sex with Jeongin long forgotten as Seungmin satisfied you this good. "Should we switch positions?"

"Do you want on top, love?" He bit your neck, bringing out another moan out of your mouth.

"Yes, please." You replied, feeling his weight disappear from you. He plopped on the bed next to you and signalled you to come on top of him, which you swiftly did, letting your body fall down on his as his dick disappeared in your cunt.

You haven't had sex in a while, but it appeared you didn't forget how to move your hips up and down to pleasure Seungmin.

He loved the sight of you on top of him, moving so confident, your tits bouncing. He couldn't help but sit up to bite your neck and move inside of you as well, and you came undone after a few thrusts.

Your orgasm was powerful, and his followed soon after as well, both of you laying down embraced next to the other and breathing heavily.

"That was so good." You spoke, caressing Seungmin's chest.

"It was the best sex I've ever had." He confessed. "Probably my feelings for you have something to do with that."

"Min..."

"Look, I don't want to force you into anything, but I genuinely like you, and would love to date you if you feel ready, and if you feel the same thing."

"I do!" You confessed as well, kissing him. "I like you so much, Min."

"That's... wow. Okay. I wasn't really expecting that." He chuckled.

"I really do. If you feel weird about Jeongin-"

"Screw that guy. I don't care about him." Seungmin cut you off, but you needed to tell him something that's been on your mind for some time now.

"Min, I really wanted to get your opinion on something... regarding Jeongin."

"I'm listening."

"The therapist... told me I should be more honest with myself. And after speaking with her for a bit, I realised that... I should talk to Jeongin and get closure, hear him out... What do you say?"

"I don't know, Ari..." Seungmin replied, dejected. He started to worry that all your feelings for him would come back if you were to see him again, but if he started dating you, he knew you would inevitably get to meet him at one point or another.

"If you're uncomfortable with that, I won't see him." You kissed his neck, wanting to show him that you no longer had any romantic feelings towards Jeongin that were worth destroying your new relationship.

"No. You should talk to him, as long as that would help you heal."

"Why are you so good to me?" You smiled. "Thank you for everything, Min. I don't think I could ever repay you. I only have this heart to give you, if you want it."

"You're a lying piece of shit! I fucking believed you!" Jeongin came screaming towards Seungmin the very next day, wanting to punch his face. He stopped at the last second, though, noticing the confusion plastered on his friend's face.

"What do you mean?"

"What is this, hm? What the fuck is this, Seungmin?!" Jeongin pulled out his phone and showed him a picture of him and you taken when he took you shopping so many months ago.

"Wait, where is this from?" Seungmin became concerned. Why is this photo surfacing now, and why is the title 'Scandal between Stray Kids! Jeongin's girlfriend cheating on him with Seungmin!'

"You ask like you don't know! You've been helping her out the whole time?!"

"That article is a bigger problem for us right now, Jeongin!"

"It's already been taken care of! This is just a screenshot! Now tell me why the fuck did you keep everything from me?!"

"Jeongin, calm down, will you?" Seungmin tried to ration with him, but it was getting difficult, as Jeongin kept throwing things around the room.

"I can't fucking believe it. How come you never let me see her once?!"

"She didn't want to see you."

"I should've been the one next to her yesterday celebrating her birthday, not you!"

"Jeongin, you are aware that you lost that privilege when you took her love for granted and cheated on her, right?"

Hearing Seungmin's cold words, the younger let himself fall down. He was right. Jeongin cheated on you, so he had no grounds to be upset that you cut him off from your life.

"She does want to talk to you, though..." Seungmin started reluctantly.

"She does?!"

"Yes... She asked me to tell you to drop by at this address if you want to meet her."

"Oh! Oh God! That's amazing! Okay, that's-"

"BUT, don't get your hopes up. She's not doing it to get back with you."

"It doesn't matter, I'll talk to her, and-"

"No, Jeongin. What I'm saying is, I'm dating her."

Seungmin's words cut through Jeongin's heart like glass. He didn't want to believe it.

"Thank you for coming." You smiled weakly seeing your ex-boyfriend, anxiety rising in your chest. You were afraid that you're going to start loving him again when you saw him, but were happy to see that it wasn't the case.

You grew a lot since the last time you two saw each other. You've been working on yourself, you were almost done with the baking course, your therapy was going great and you found a lot of love in Seungmin, even before you two confessed and got together.

Jeongin, however, still loved you.

"Ari... you look amazing." He complimented you, his face falling down in shame. "I should thank you for giving me a chance to explain why I did what I did."

"I'm listening." You smiled.

"I know it's unforgivable... and I'm sorry. I have no excuse. I wanted to live the 'young and free' lifestyle and I didn't realise what the two of us have. I took it for granted. I was sure you're going to be there no matter what, but now... I realise how stupid and selfish I was. And I... still love you. So, so much. I miss you."

He looked into your eyes, and he was glad that there was still warmth in them towards him. He was scared to see what he would find, but now he was relieved.

"I see..." You nodded in understatement, finding it baffling that your relationship truly ended for something insignificant like that. It was freeing, even, to know that you weren't at fault for it. "Thank you for telling me."

Jeongin reached over the table to grab your hand, but you pulled it back and put it in your lap.

"Do you think... there's still hope for us?"

"Jeongin, I want to be honest to you. What you did to me broke my heart into a million pieces, and it took me a long time to be okay again. I really didn't think I would be able to get through it."

"I'm so sorry, Ari." Jeongin started tearing up. "I truly am."

"However," you continued. "I pushed through, I went to therapy, I started living for myself... and I'm okay now. I'm happy. I'm even in a new relationship now, and I love him so much for being there for me." You smiled.

"So... Seungmin, huh?" He chuckled. "He's a great guy."

"He was there holding my hand... when no one else was." You smiled again, feeling more in love with your boyfriend than ever. While you sat on the sidelines and gave your all to support Jeongin and his career, putting your life on hold, Seungmin actively encouraged you to work towards doing something you love, to become the best version of yourself.

You were loved.

"I don't want to pretend the last 12 years never existed." You spoke. "You were really important to me, and a piece of my heart will always be yours. But... I moved on. And I really hope you will find the strength to do it too."

You got up from the table and hugged Jeongin, who didn't say anything else, then left the Café.

"How was it?" Seungmin anxiously asked you as soon as you stepped through the door of the apartment. He's been fidgeting the whole time and seeing him so nervous made you chuckle a bit. You truly, truly liked him.

"It was fine. We talked about what happened... and now I can really say I've moved on." You came closer to Seungmin and hugged him. "Thank you, Min."

"What are you thanking me for?" He hugged you back.

"For trusting me. I bet it was hard on you to let me meet up with the man I've spent the last 12 years of my life with."

"I'm really, really happy that you're not breaking up with me to go back to him."

"How could I, Min? I love you so much." You separated your bodies and kissed him. "I'm so grateful to have you in my life."

"I love you too." He confessed.

"Should we go for round two, then?" You winked playfully and pointed towards the bedroom.

"You don't have to ask me twice." He picked you up and spun you around, taking you to the room and closing the door behind him.

~The End~

30 notes · View notes

skzhocomments · 1 year

Text

Careless Mistakes - Lee Know Oneshot Fanfic

Pairing: Minho (Lee Know of Stray Kids) x Violet (OC - story written in 2nd person)

Genre: angst, romance, very explicit smut, angry sex, enemies to lovers

Word Count: ~7.6k

Warnings: extremely sexually graphic, anal, the traffic light system, swearing, slight bullying, angst, crying, character is poor and starving herself, mention of eating disorder, probably others.

This is just a story that doesn’t describe Minho or any other SKZ members’ true characters in any way. It’s just a product of my imagination and should be treated as such.

This story is also on Wattpad: click here and AO3: click here

A/N: As any other writer out there, I would appreciate reblogs and your comments on this story. Please let me know if you enjoyed it, and most importantly, have fun!

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Summary:

Your whole life has been uprooted after your dad unexpectedly passed away two months ago, leaving behind your younger sister you decided to care and provide for no matter what. To be able to give her the same lifestyle she was used to, you had to take up another job. Minho had no way of knowing that. For him, you were just an annoying stylist that kept messing everything up, making careless mistakes. You got tired of his antics, hearing him swear at you over and over again, so you proposed the most logical illogical thing: fucking it out. After all, angry sex is the best way to cool off.

---

"I swear to God, I'm gonna fucking kill her!" Minho shouted annoyed as soon as he got backstage, trying to tug his shirt back into the damn belt.

"Come on, man, don't be like that." Jisung tried to comfort him, putting his hand on his shoulder. "Just get over it."

"No! I told everyone countless of times I'm uncomfortable with my abdomen showing, what can't she fucking get? I swear, it's either intentional, or she's bad as fuck at her job and should be fired."

"Don't be so harsh on her, I'm sure she's doing her best. She's just new. She's been with us for what, 8 months?"

"She's doing her best, my ass. First, she gave me that tight ass necklace I had to rip off mid-dance because it was literally strangling me. Then she gave me those annoying boots with the impossible zipper, and I had to focus for half the performance to not continue barefoot. Then, the freaking sunglasses! Doesn't she know what choreographies we have? Unless she literally glues them on, they are bound to fly off my head! But that's nothing. Today she fucking topped it! If this is her best, then she should get the fuck out of this place, she's clearly not meant for it." He ripped off the earpiece, angrily.

"I understand you're annoyed, and I get you, but-" Jisung started, before getting interrupted again.

"Is Violet still here?" He asked a staff member, who pointed him towards the girl. He didn't hesitate to march over.

"Yo." He said shortly, annoyance in his tone.

"Hello, Minho. Great performance!" You smiled, complimenting him. "You danced really well and looked amazing on stage, as always. You're a great performer. You too, Jisung." You smiled at the boy following Minho sheepishly as well.

The antipathy Minho has been harbouring towards you for the past few weeks was unknown to you, so you didn't have any reason to believe that what he was going to say would actually be meant to hurt you. You just smiled as he started spitting venom at you.

"Yea, not thanks to you. What the fuck is wrong with you? Can't you read one simple instruction?"

Of course, he had no way of knowing that you've been having a really harsh time lately, that you indeed couldn't focus on your job that well considering everything that happened, that your whole life has been uprooted after your dad unexpectedly passed away two months ago and that you've been running on 4 hours of sleep as you took care of your younger sister and got a second job to be able to offer her the same lifestyle she lived until now.

He couldn't have known.

"I'm sorry?" You replied, tilting your head, confusion written all over your face.

Minho chuckled mockingly. "You're sorry? Did you even get what you did wrong, or should I spell it out for you?"

"Uhm... please. If there is anything I did that upset you that much-" you hated how your voice quivered, but you hated him a little bit more for acting like this towards you. "The necklace this time wasn't tight... and I didn't give you any more boots with zippers, so..."

You watched over at Jisung who was moving his hands around pointing to his blouse frantically. "Was... was it the shirt?" You questioned, remembering that you read one time that one of the members absolutely hated having his abs exposed. You were sure it was Changbin, but you really couldn't remember. The past few weeks were extremely hazy.

"Bingo! Your head is not totally empty! Well done!" He exclaimed, clapping mockingly.

"Uhm... Okay, I will note that down again and-"

"How come I have to tell you what's wrong after every single performance? Are you that incapable of reading the previous stylist's notes, or noticing for yourself?"

"You're right. I'm sorry." You replied, feeling your eyes sting. Everything was getting to be too much. Plus, it's not like you messed up all the time. Sure, he could dislike an accessory every now and then, but you had to dress him basically everyday. He seemed to forget that 6 days out of 7, nothing was wrong with his outfit.

"Sorry this, sorry that. Instead of apologising you'd better do your job right, or even better, quit while you're at it."

Before you got the chance to say anything else, he turned around and left.

You tried your hardest to keep your composure. You couldn't cry yet, when the room was still buzzing with people.

"Don't mind him too much, he's just been stressed." Jisung started, but you just shook your head and smiled.

"That's okay. He's right. I will do better."

"He's kind of an asshole, isn't he?" Jisung whispered, making both of you chuckle. "Thanks for today. I really liked my outfit."

"Thank you, Jisung." You smiled.

"I'll get going, see you later?"

"Sure." You smiled, feeling a bit better. Jisung did have a way of turning any battleground into a children's park, apparently.

"Violet, girl! Wanna get lunch? We have almost 2 hours until the next shooting starts." One of your coworkers approached you cheerfully. "The other girls are also coming, so I was just thinking we could all eat together. There's a sushi place not far from here and it's delicious!"

Lunch.

Right.

When was the last time I ate? You wondered.

"Oh, sushi sounds great!" You chuckled in a friendly manner. "I have to get something sorted out first, though, so you can go first. I'll join you all if I manage to finish in time." You smiled at your coworker, who nodded.

"That's too bad! Well, we're keeping you a seat, so feel free to come whenever you're done!"

"Of course."

Being alone in the empty room, you started rummaging through similar black shirts you could give Minho to change in.

Sure, he was right, but he didn't need to be such a jerk about it. You thought, reminding yourself of the unpleasant encounter. It felt so horrible having him shout at you and looking at you with so much hate.

You were in the wrong, sure. You knew you made a few careless mistakes. But he could've treated you a bit better, like you were a human being, not a punching machine for his verbal abuse.

Finally on your own, you let yourself sit down on the sofa in the corner of the room and cry, letting the tears fall down freely on your cheeks as you kept your head rolled back on the small cushions.

Suddenly, the door opened with force, and you jumped up in surprise, noticing Changbin walk in. You wiped your face as much as you could in the few seconds it took him to spot you, and you smiled at him.

"Sorry, just left my phone here. Didn't you go to lunch yet?" He asked, looking at you. If he noticed you've been crying, he didn't mention it.

"Oh, I just have to finish this quickly, then I'll eat something." You lied once again. You didn't need food, what you needed right now was to cut costs wherever possible to be able to afford your little sister's ballet classes.

You wished she didn't have such expensive passions, but as the oldest, it was your responsibility to take care of her and her interests when there wasn't anyone else to do it. Poor kid had it rough enough already. When your dad remarried and had a daughter with his new wife, she died giving birth to her, so she never even knew a mother figure.

You felt bad, so despite there being a 15-year age-gap between you and her, you tried to be there as much as possible.

"Oh, I see. Found it!" He exclaimed, grabbing his phone from the table.

"Have a nice lunch!" You exclaimed and waved at him, starting to sort through Lee Know's shirts again. You were so dizzy, it was getting hard to focus, but still, you somehow managed to stay awake and find more comfortable items that would fit him in the big pile of clothes brought by their sponsors, and then you sat back down on the sofa and took a small nap.

"Done?" Felix laughed as Changbin returned to the table, victoriously showing off his recovered phone.

"Yes! I left it on the table. It's good that no one took it." He chuckled.

"Yea, no one would've noticed someone taking a phone that's not theirs, since that room is always full, right?" Hyunjin asked as he took a small bite of the sliced vegetables.

"Oh, it was quite empty this time, though." Changbin said with his mouth full. "Besides Violet."

"Yea? Why was she still there? I thought the team went to lunch at the sushi place. Didn't she go with them?" Chan asked, curious.

"I know it's not okay to comment on people's bodies or anything, but didn't you guys notice that she's lost a lot of weight and looks rather... frail?" Felix asked the group of boys, knowing full well how drained of energy he was when he used to starve himself.

"She almost passed out last week during shooting." Seungmin said matter-of-factly, making everyone look up at him. "What? Is there something on my face?" He wiped his cheeks.

"What do you mean she passed out?" Minho asked, watching Seungmin closely.

"I said almost. She was in the hallway when I went to the bathroom, and I just saw her lean on a wall, and her knees gave in for a bit, so she fell."

"And?!" Jisung asked, mouth open.

"She said she was just very tired and brushed me off, and since I had to come back to do that 8-man shoot, I didn't really stay and chat." Seungmin shrugged and munched on the rice bowl in front of him.

"I'm a bit worried for her..." Felix said, looking down.

"She did look a bit dejected... but I'm sure she'll be fine, right?" Changbin touched Felix' shoulder, as always admiring how empathetic he was towards others.

"Yea, I will... talk to her!" Felix decided, resolve in his voice.

"So, what did you think about..."

The boys continued talking for a while about the shooting, their new music video and the upcoming busy schedule.

"Anyways, I'm done eating, so I'm gonna head upstairs and rest for a bit until y'all come." Minho stood up after a while, and started leisurely making his way back to the dressing room, set on laying down on the sofa and closing his eyes for a few minutes.

When he put his hand on the handle, he heard your voice through the door, and despite knowing that he shouldn't, he stayed there and eavesdropped. You seemed to be talking on the phone, not too loud, but loud enough for him to hear.

"Oh my God, that's amazing! I'm so happy for you, Mimi!"

You seemed excited.

"That's so great to hear! We have to celebrate this! I'll change my schedule to be free on Saturday, so let's eat some cake, what do you say?"

What would be so worth celebrating? And what schedule? As far as Minho knew, there wasn't anything planned for this weekend.

"Of course chocolate, what else, Mimi? Oh, I know, let's buy some meat and we can have a barbecue as well! We didn't have one in a while, did we?"

Barbecue AND a cake? Sounds like fun.

"Two new dresses? For the show?" You asked.

Minho raised a brow. He wasn't supposed to listen to other people's conversation. Should he just enter the room?

"300$ per dress?!" You exclaimed in horror. "Wow!"

He pressed the handle and opened the door, but you didn't notice him getting in, because you were crouched on the floor, as if you were in pain.

"No, Mimi, of course we're going to buy them. I'll figure it out, so don't you worry about anything! Look, my break is almost over, so I have to go. I will get home earlier today, at about 12 AM, but don't wait for me, and go to sleep instead, yea?"

Minho approached you slowly. What were you even going to do until 12 AM? And how is that early?

"You're such a strong girl! Love you too!" You said and ended the call, sighing. Your stomach was hurting, which made it difficult to stand up, and you were so dizzy. How were you going to work the next 10 hours?

"Violet?" Minho asked you, making you stand up way too quickly in horror. The dizziness got to your head, and you felt yourself almost fainting, your knees giving in. Before you fell, Minho caught you and he looked at you almost worried.

You knew better than to think he actually gave two shits about you. Your earlier conversation told you as much, anyway.

"Sorry, I didn't notice you come in." You said and moved away from his grasp.

"How was lunch?" He asked you.

"Good. Since you're here earlier, I found these clothes that you could-"

"What did you eat?"

"Huh?" You asked perplexed. Why did he care?

"What did you have for lunch?"

"Why?"

"Just curious." He shrugged.

"Rice and some vegetables." You lied with a smile. "What about you?"

"Where?"

"What?"

"Where did you eat?" I didn't see you downstairs.

"Oh, I brought food from home." You replied, not missing a beat. It was getting so easy to blurt out this kind of lies.

"What are you celebrating this weekend?"

"Is this some sort of interrogatory?" You laughed. "Nothing that concerns you. Can you try those clothes now?"

"... Sure." Minho replied, grabbing the shirt and the new pants you gave him, heading towards the changing room.

Just then, your other coworkers entered the room.

"Violet! You didn't join us after all!"

"Sadly." You laughed. "I had to find some new clothes."

"Did you eat anything?"

"I did, I brought something from home. Thanks for always taking care of me." You smiled.

"By the way, your sister's recital should be one of these days, right?"

"Oh wow, you remembered!" You chuckled, noticing that Minho still hasn't left the room. You shooed him away, but he seemed to ignore you, and started participating in the conversation.

"What kind of recital?" He showed you a shit-eating grin, happy that he was going to hear what he wanted to hear, after all.

"Oh, her sister is a little ballet prodigy!" One of your coworkers complimented. "She's sooo talented! Best of luck to her!"

"Oh, it was actually today, and she just called me earlier telling me she got the main role!" You smiled, boasting. You were very proud of your little sister for accomplishing this, after your dad's accident. His death was harder on her than it was on you, but she was taking it like a champion.

"No way! She's gonna be Cinderella?! Congrats!" She hugged you.

"Wow, Cinderella!" Minho exclaimed as well. "That's so cute! I wanna see her too, when is her show?"

"I don't know, Minho, I just found out 15 minutes ago that she got the role. Will you go change?" You smiled fakely.

"But Violet, isn't it super expensive?" Your coworker frowned. "Keeping her in classes, and I bet her costumes are going to cost you a lot..."

"Oh, indeed."

"You got a second job, right?" Your coworker further inquired, and you started feeling uncomfortable.

"Yea, I did."

"Poor girl. First you lose your dad, then you have to work this hard at such a young age... Let us know if we can help with anything, hm?" Your coworkers smiled as if they were pitying you, and you hated this. You didn't notice Minho's gaze, nor did you care to look. You indulged in the pleasantries of your coworkers. It wasn't like they were actually going to help you in any way, so you didn't understand why they were pretending to want to be helpful.

Minho eventually left to change without saying anything else, and all the boys soon returned to the dressing room.

"Violet, can I have a word with you?" Felix approached you with a small smile, and both of you headed to the hallway.

"What's up?" You smiled back, noticing that he was fidgeting, looking perturbed.

"I don't want to... bother you with my questions, but..."

"Hey." You put your hand on his left shoulder. It's not like you were friends, but he must've had a reason to ask you to talk privately. "It's okay, you can ask me anything."

"I... uhm... used to do this really bad thing where I wouldn't eat for days trying to lose weight, and..."

"Oh." Now it made sense why Minho asked what you ate today. They talked about you.

"I'm sorry, I know it's not my place to say anything, but I just wanted to let you know that you are already beautiful as you are, and you don't need to lose any weight, but if you want to, you should do it in a healthy way... Changbin-hyung even offered to go to the gym together, if you want..."

"Lix." You smiled. "It's nothing like that."

"Don't lie to me." He looked at you sadly. "I know you haven't been eating. I've seen how tired you are, and I was the same way..."

You felt bad, because Felix clearly went through something and used to have an eating disorder, so this conversation was probably really difficult for him.

"No, you're right. I haven't been eating, but it has nothing to do with losing weight." You furrowed your brows, sadness taking over your expression.

"Then?"

"I just... uhm. This is awkward." You chuckled, not noticing Minho coming out of the changing room on the hallway. "Rent, and my sister's ballet classes are really expensive, and now she will need two dresses for her show, so... I'm cutting costs wherever I can. I'm doing fine with eating once every few days, so don't worry about it." You smiled sadly, noticing Felix's gaze drop.

"You don't have..." he started, just when Minho talked a few metres away from you.

"What are you guys doing?" He grinned. "Violet, these clothes feel way better, I wouldn't have had a screaming fit if you found these first!" Minho chuckled loudly. He didn't want to make it obvious that he's heard your talk with Felix.

"Oh, that's good to hear. Shall we head back, then?" You smiled, and opened the door to the dressing room.

~two days later~

No fucking way. Minho thought, fighting every urge to roll his eyes after his bracelet fell off and he had to toss it out of the way on the stage. How come all the other members you dressed didn't have any problems with their clothes or accessories?

Once again, he returned to the dressing room fuming, complaining loudly to Jisung about you.

"Yo, Violet!" He shouted, seeing you relax on the couch.

"Minho, great performance as always!" You smiled, in a fake manner this time.

"Shut up, can you take this off?" He gave you his left arm, and you looked confused at his wrist.

"Take what off? Where is the bracelet?" You furrowed your brows.

"On the fucking stage. After it fucking fell." He replied, annoyed.

"No way!" You exclaimed, waiting for another meltdown like last time.

Fuck, you didn't have energy for this.

Thankfully, Chan approached Minho to talk to him about something.

"He's taking it out too much on you." One of your coworkers commented, making you nod.

"Right?!" You pouted, making her laugh.

"Maybe he has a crush on you." Another coworker said, clearly joking.

"Yea, in what universe?" You joined her laughing. "He's just an angry asshole."

"But Violet, you know what they say, sometimes the best way to let off steam is to have angry sex."

"Oh my god!" You slapped her arm playfully. "Don't say shit like that! What if he hears?" You looked anxiously at Minho, who, despite not being too far, seemed caught up in a conversation with Chan.

Thank God he didn't hear this. It would've been embarrassing as hell.

"If he hears, he might take you up on the offer." She laughed, making you roll your eyes.

"Anyways," your other coworker stopped the madness. "Let's go eat. Are you coming, Violet?"

"Oh, no. I want to rest for a bit before the next job, so I'm gonna stay here and sleep."

"Want us to buy you something, then?"

"No, thank you, I have some food in my backpack, so don't worry!"

You saw Minho turn away to look at you briefly, before he exited the room.

Soon, all your coworkers left as well, so you were left in peace. You've been waiting for lunch break to start and for everyone to leave the room for about two hours now, so you can finally sleep for a bit on the couch.

It's been getting harder and harder to stay awake, since you had really low energy levels after not having eaten more than an apple for 4 days now.

"Violet." A voice woke you up, and you opened your eyes, confused by your surroundings.

Oh, this is the dressing room. You realised, pressing your hand on your forehead. Your whole head was hurting.

"You're finally awake. I've been trying to wake you for the past 10 minutes." Minho chuckled.

"Why are you here?" You asked, your voice groggy. "Is it already 2?"

"No, it's barely 12:30. I was in the mood for some peace and quiet, so I thought I'd get lunch here. I bought too much. Wanna eat together?"

"Hm?" You were now fully awake, and smelling the food made your stomach hurt even worse. You were so hungry.

"Come, let's eat." He dragged a table closer to the sofa and started opening up a few containers with fresh food from the cafeteria.

It smelled great.

Minho gave you some chopsticks and a spoon and placed a bottle of water in front of you.

"This is really good." You smiled, tasting the chicken soup. After examining all the contents on the table, you realised that he only brought foods good for the stomach: chicken soup, fish, rice, apricots.

"I'm glad you like it."

"You... heard me and Felix the other day, didn't you?" You asked, avoiding his gaze.

"Mhm." He hummed. "I did."

"Thank you... but you didn't have to."

"Yea, I know. Not for my dummy stylist who messes up my look everytime and annoys the shit out of me, anyway." He shrugged.

"Yah, don't be like that!" You frowned.

"It's the truth though." He shrugged again, before bursting out into laughing. He really seemed to enjoy messing with you.

"When is Cinderella's ballet show?" He asked, looking at the food, as if embarrassed.

"What?" You asked, being taken aback by the sudden change of topic.

"Your sister's-"

"In 3 months."

"You're not gonna miss it if you're coming with us to the US, right?" He asked you, concerned. "You're coming, right?" He quickly added, as if scared to hear a negative response.

"Of course I'm coming." You chuckled. There was no way in hell you would miss an opportunity to travel through the major cities in the US with all expenses paid, while you got three times your salary. "And no, the show is exactly one week after we return, so I won't miss anything."

"That's great. Can I come see her too?"

"Wh-what?" You choked on your food, grabbing the bottle on the table and taking a big gulp of water.

"I'm curious, and I haven't seen a ballet in ages."

"They're all children, Minho. They won't be professionals like you guys." You chuckled.

"It doesn't matter. Get me a ticket?"

"Pfft." You laughed again. "Okay. Sure."

"Let me pay for her dresses." He blurted out, quietly, and you weren't sure you heard him right. Surely he wasn't suggesting giving you money.

"What?" You smiled, not knowing what to think.

"They are pretty expensive for you, but they don't mean anything to me, and I'd like to buy them."

"Uhm. Why?"

"Just because."

"Because of what?" You questioned further, looking at him in confusion.

"Because I want to. What do you want me to say?" He asked, annoyed.

"I don't... no." You denied his request, turning away to the food. Minho didn't insist further.

Once you finished eating everything, you felt more energised than ever, so you thanked Minho genuinely and felt ready to conquer the world. Perhaps it wasn't going to be such a shitty day after all.

After that day, every time you would have a common schedule with Stray Kids, Minho would either get lunch with you, or force you into coming with him to the cafeteria and buying you lunch.

You got used to his presence and his witty remarks, but he still annoyed to shit out of you with his dislike for various garments or accessories you would give him.

Tonight was the third show in the US, and all of you were in the large venue, preparing the Kids backstage.

The concert was amazing, but as soon as Minho returned, annoyance was once again plastered all over his face. You were not in the main room, so he went to find you, and you were resting in a quiet place – the stairs of the hallway for the Staff. No one bothered to come here during the concert.

"Violet!" He groaned.

"What is it this time?" You rolled your eyes, annoyed. Why did he keep disturbing your quiet time after each concert?

"My cap fell off, and my earpiece got stuck in the fucking earring you gave me!" He shouted at you, and you stood up, facing him.

You had enough.

You went right in front of him, your chests almost touching, while you looked into his fiery eyes.

"You know what, Minho? You're whining so fucking much, I should be the one to say that you annoy the shit out of me."

"Oh yea?" He said, as if threatening you. "If you did your job right..."

"Look, no one else ever has any complains, so what is it with you? 'My ring is too big!'; 'The hair clip is scratching my head!'; 'My pants are too tight!'. Grow the fuck up!"

He seemed taken aback for a second, before smirking at you. You never showed this much resistance before, and he kinda liked it, although he preferred... more obedient girls.

He was sure you're gonna be the obedient type, though.

"You're truly the worst stylist I've ever seen." He challenged you, still sporting the dumb smirk.

"You know what, Minho? Maybe my coworker is right."

"About what?" Minho tilted his head.

You must be crazy.

But he was so close to you, and his perfume mixed with his natural scent after sweating on the stage was intoxicating. He was too close.

Violet, stop. You tried telling yourself, but when did you ever listen?

"We should fuck it out." You said plainly, glancing straight into his eyes.

"I'm not sure you want that, Violet. I'm not sure you can handle me taking all my anger out on you like that."

"Try me." You said again, confidence lacing your tone, as he pressed his body on yours and pinned you up against the wall, kissing you hungrily.

Your kiss was heated, and you wanted nothing more than to fuck him right there, but it was too risky. Any staff member could come in the hallway and see you.

"What is your room number?" Minho stepped away from you, lust visible in his eyes.

"42. Are you coming tonight?"

"No, baby." He chuckled. "I'm going to send you a present, and you're going to come to mine at exactly 11:30 PM, wearing it. Number's 143. Yea?" His hand was on your neck, fingers brushing your skin gently, as his eyes expectedly looked at you.

"Mhm." You nodded, already feeling excitement pool down in your stomach.

"Good girl." He kissed you again, before turning around and leaving you there all flustered. He just knew you were going to be the obedient type.

No way.

When you heard a small knock on your door at 10 PM, you weren't sure what to expect. Opening it, you saw one of the room service ladies holding two luxury black bags.

"Miss Violet? I have a delivery for you." She handed you the shopping bags hastily, then left.

The first bag contained a small box with a pair of Louboutin red bottom black high heels. You weren't sure how you were going to walk on them, but they were pretty, and considering the brand, expensive as heck.

Maybe you could sell them after tonight to pay for your sister's dresses, after all. You still haven't figured that one out yet. Perhaps you should've taken Minho up on the offer two months ago and let him buy them, since he was going to shower you with such gifts anyway.

You curiously opened the second bag and pulled out a lacy see-through black underwear set, and the sluttiest tight black dress one could find. Wearing it on your body, you took the time to admire yourself in the mirror. It was a strapless neckline, the dress being tight around the waist and supported by your hips, after which the dress would split on both sides of your thighs, dropping lower only about a palm's length.

You certainly never wore such a slutty dress, and the lacy three-piece underwear set – specifically the garters of the set – were totally visible under it.

You only had to go up a few floors, but would it be even remotely appropriate to wear something like this outside the room?

Fucking Minho. You cursed, thinking of what a shit eating smirk he must've had ordering these clothes. You didn't even want to think of tomorrow's walk of shame.

When the clock showed 11:25, you grabbed a black trench coat which you were glad to have brought with you to the US, unaware of the weather, and hugged it tightly around your body, not wanting to risk being seen like the 21st century biggest slut.

You made your way towards the elevator and pressed the 14th floor, then found the third room in the hallway, 143, and knocked.

Minho opened it eagerly, but frowned at the sight of you.

"What's with that?" he pointed to your trench coat, making you snicker.

"You didn't want me to walk through the whole hotel dressed like this, right?" You opened it up, showing him that you indeed wore what he bought for you. It was maybe the boldest thing you've done, but you were too far gone and way too horny to care anymore.

Minho was an ass, but he was attractive, and he had a good side to him as well, noting that he took care of your meals for the past two months. Why not have sex with him too while you're at it?

He stepped aside to let you walk in, and as soon as he closed the door, the trench coat flew off your body, and your back was glued to the door, as he started kissing you eagerly.

A few seconds in, you understood why he picked a strapless dress. Minho started kissing your jawline, then moved on to your exposed neck, sucking and biting your skin harshly. You moaned in pleasure, not giving a shit about how much he was marking you. You liked it.

Your tits were the next to become completely exposed, as he almost tore the dress taking it lower. He didn't even admire the lacy black underwear, he just took it off hastily, and you wondered why he bought it in the first place.

He kissed your chest down to your boobs and bit the sensitive skin on them, making you groan in pain. When you put your hands in his hair to signal him to slow down, he just grabbed them and slammed them tightly against the door, so you couldn't move.

Despite your small whines, he continued sucking on your right breast, his hand having fun with your left boob, fingers massaging and pinching your nipple.

Minho moved his hands on your hips, his mouth still attached to your right breast, as his fingers found the rim of your lacy panties. He took them off swiftly, disconnecting your bodies as he sat down on his knees in front of you.

He looked beautiful.

Without saying anything, he spun you around and spread your thighs apart, connecting his mouth to your pussy.

"Fuck." You moaned, feeling his tongue drawing stripes along your core and separating your folds as he was forcing the entry.

After a while, he moved his tongue up, and started eating out your butthole. You let out a gasp in surprise, as you truly weren't expecting that, and you felt embarrassed. You never did any butt play with anyone else, and you felt insecure, so you tried to turn around, but Minho had other plans, as he gripped your thighs tightly and slapped your left butt cheek powerfully, making you groan in pain once more. His fingers and the hit were sure to leave bruises tomorrow.

When he sensed that you wouldn't move anymore, his right hand moved from your thigh to your clit, and he started massaging it just as his tongue entered your hole.

You didn't know your ass could feel so good, and his fingers working on your clit at the same time brought a powerful orgasm out of you, your knees almost giving in.

You were already a mess, but the night was just beginning.

"Violet, let me tell you how we're gonna work tonight." He started, but you already barely heard him, still trying to recover and to keep your legs from shaking and giving in. Minho also seemed to notice, as he stood up and pressed his body on yours.

You felt his bulge against your ass, and you wondered how good his dick was going to feel deep inside of you.

"We're going to use the traffic light system. Are you familiar with that?" He whispered in your ear, and you shook your head.

"No, I don't think so."

"There are three colours. Green means 'I love it, you can keep going'. Yellow means 'I am a bit uncomfortable. Slow down, but keep going'. And red means 'Stop. I can't take it anymore'. If you use red, we're done. You can trust me to stop. Okay?"

"Yea. Got it." You nodded, feeling his hot breath on your neck.

"Promise me you're going to use red if it gets to be too much. Don't force yourself to please me."

"... I promise." You replied, and you were grateful he was so insistent in making you feel good, not just chasing his own pleasure as most men you had sex with until now would.

Minho didn't let you have any other time to recover from the orgasm. As soon as he heard the magic words promising him you're going to respect your own boundaries, he turned you once more with your back against the door, as he kissed away the hurried gasps that were still coming out of your mouth.

He gripped your dress tightly and took it off you, then grabbed your wrist and took you in front of the bed, grabbing your hair to make you kneel down in front of him.

You watched expectedly as he unbuckled his belt, taking out his dick. Once again, knowing exactly what he wanted, he didn't miss a beat in forcefully sliding his whole length down your throat.

You choked on it, but he didn't care, he just kept guiding your head to suck him off and used your mouth like a fleshlight.

You started tearing up involuntarily and felt your saliva coming out of your mouth and getting everywhere on you and on the floor each time he would take his dick out to let you breathe for air.

You were so wet, you desperately wanted to be touched again, even if you just came less than 5 minutes ago, so you moved your right hand to your clit and started playing with it. As soon as Minho noticed, he pushed his dick as far as it could go in your throat, and chuckled lowly.

"You're so selfish you wanna get off again?" He laughed at you mockingly, taking his member out again and grabbing your chin, raising your head up to look at him. His eyes were dark and full of lust.

He yanked you from the floor and threw you on the bed, starting to take off his clothes.

"Off." He pointed to your garters, the only piece of clothing left on your body, and you obediently followed his orders, remaining naked on the bed while you waited for him to come to you.

You noticed a scar on his abdomen, and you wondered if that was the reason why he was so mad when you gave him a shirt that went too far up, but he didn't leave you much time to think, as he made his way over you and pressed his body on yours, kissing your mouth while he slid in you with ease.

"You fit me so well." He complimented you, moving his mouth to your neck and leaving love bites everywhere he touched, but after a few more thrusts, he pulled out of you and made you turn around with your ass in the air, and he started fucking you doggystyle.

"Fucking hell." You moaned, as you felt his powerful thrusts. Was it dancer's stamina?

Minho spat on your asshole and started spreading his saliva around with his thumb, massaging the entrance. You felt exposed, but couldn't complain as he put his thumb inside, starting to stretch your walls.

"Colour?" He asked, slowing down his movements momentarily.

"Fuck, green." You moaned again, just wanting him to start moving again. His finger in your ass felt good, something that truly took you by surprise, as you never envisioned yourself putting anything up there.

Soon enough, Minho swapped the thumb with two of his fingers, moving them in and out of you as his dick grazed your G spot every time he moved his hips. The stretch was getting a bit uncomfortable, but you soon felt another orgasm creeping in, and started gasping for air as you let go of that knot in your stomach.

"Good girl." Minho whispered, taking his fingers out of you and pressing his thighs on the back of yours, pushing you down on the bed. He seemed to know your knees wouldn't be able to hold on much longer.

He moved in and out of your pussy a bit slower while you recovered from your orgasm, and with a last thrust, he took his dick out and rested on top of you for a moment, kissing your shoulders and back, leaving marks everywhere.

When your breathing slowed down after a few seconds, he repositioned himself, this time at your other entrance. His dick started pressing into your ass, and you felt a painful sting that made you close your eyes tightly.

"Minho, it hurts." You whined, feeling him push in.

"I know, baby, can you take it?" He asked you lowly.

"It's... my first time... there." You whined again, feeling hot tears staining your cheeks.

He was hovering above you, and with his tip inside, he brought his face closer to you and whispered.

"Colour?"

"Ugh." You groaned in pain. "Y-yellow."

Hearing you, Minho started pushing into you deeper and bit your right shoulder strongly, making you cry out in pain. The distraction worked, however, as your brain didn't seem to register which was more painful. You sobbed, but he comforted you, whispering sweet words.

"It hurts!" You cried out.

"Shh. I know, I know it does. You can take it, baby. I know you can."

He moved his hands on your inner thighs and spread your legs apart, allowing him better access.

"Oh God." You sobbed, feeling him bottom out into you.

He stayed still for a few moments before thrusting his hips back and forth, and you found that with each thrust, the feeling inside your ass was getting less and less unpleasant.

Minho brought his fingers and your clit and rubbed it quickly, as he was mercilessly fucking your asshole.

Being under him like this, with his dick in your ass and his fingers all over your pussy, you blacked out and let yourself experience a third orgasm that night, that was so powerful, you started squirting, something you've never done before. It was so good, it made you see stars. Your ass clenched around his dick, making Minho groan in pleasure.

"Such a slut for me." He grunted. "Do you like getting your ass fucked? Coming on my dick like that?"

You only whined in response, your mind no longer able to form any coherent words.

He continued fucking into you powerfully, before his own orgasm took over, and he cummed inside your ass and filled you up.

Minho plopped down next to you, putting your right leg on his hip as his fingers played with your ass, taking his cum out of it.

He spread it all over your pussy, and got it inside with his fingers as well, as he started fingering you. You rested your head on his shoulders, letting him have his way with your body, and you came for the fourth time that night, whining strongly.

Your body could no longer take it. Instead of letting you go through your orgasm slowly, Minho kept fucking you with his fingers, until you hugged his body tightly, putting your left hand steadily on his back and whispering a small "Red".

Minho stopped immediately, hugging you back.

"You did so well." He praised you. "I loved it so much, Violet."

You didn't have any energy left to reply to him, your body feeling weaker than ever.

You felt his weight disappear from next to you and a big blanket covering your body.

"I'm gonna take a quick shower then run a bath for you. You should also pee, to prevent any UTIs, okay?"

You still didn't hear him, but missed his presence next to you.

You don't know when he picked you up, but you started to become a bit more conscious as he helped you sit on the toilet, and he left the bathroom so you can have your privacy.

You started peeing, feeling both your holes burning up.

Then, you stood up, your legs shaking under your weight, and hopped into the bathtub, letting it fill with you inside of it.

Minho knocked on the bathroom's door after a while.

"Violet, can I come in?" He asked gently, and you replied with a small "Yes", your voice hoarse.

Minho came inside and made his way closer to the bathtub, gently caressing your face.

"Can I wash you?" He asked, and you nodded.

He let the water start draining as he took shower gel into his hands and started spreading it on your arms and body. He washed his hands off the soap and brought his right one down, brushing his fingers on your swollen private parts.

You winced in pain and placed your hand on his, wanting to stop him from touching you any further.

"I'm not going to do anything, Violet. Don't worry. I just want to wash my release off you." He said gently, and you just nodded, trusting him and letting him take care of you.

When he was done washing you, he grabbed a big, white towel and wrapped it around you, as he took you in his arms and put you back on the bed. You took the towel off, wanting to be more comfortable, when you noticed the new sheets.

"Oh, the bed was a mess, so I called reception to have them come and change them." Minho clarified with a smile after seeing your confused expression, making sure you were comfortable under the covers and laying down next to you. He was thoughtful, and you were glad he did that, as the bed was filled to the rim with your release and his.

You closed your eyes and fell asleep quickly, as Minho brushed his hand through your hair gently.

Minho woke up the next morning to a bang on his door. He quickly put on some pants and a shirt as he noticed you still sleeping soundly.

Opening the door, he saw Jisung.

"Man, you're going to miss breakfast if you don't hurry up!" He scolded his elder.

"That's okay. I'll order something later." Minho quickly brushed him off, wanting to do nothing more than to come back to bed next to you.

"Anyways, I think I left my Switch here, so I came to get it." He brushed past Minho, not understanding why he was pulling his arm to try and get him out of the room.

And then he saw you sleeping in his bed, naked under the sheets, and he went as red as a tomato. He literally ran out of the room.

"Oh my God, what the hell!"

"Quiet down or you're gonna wake her, idiot." Minho face palmed, finding it amusing how flustered Jisung became.

"What did you do to her?! She's all bruised up!" He exclaimed quietly.

"Nothing she didn't like, don't worry." Minho chuckled again. "Anyways, I'm gonna miss breakfast, and your Switch is not in my room, it's in Hyunjin's."

"Oh. Then-"

"Bye!" Minho waved before closing the door right in his friend's face, then returned to bed to see you still asleep. He was glad the commotion didn't wake you, as you seemed to really need to rest.

One hour or so later, you finally woke up, seeing Minho watching you stretch your limbs.

"Morning." He smiled.

"Hey." You replied, your voice even more hoarse than last night. He did a number on you, no joke.

"Slept well?"

"Mhm, I did."

"I'm glad, Violet. After last night, I'm no longer mad at you." He chuckled.

"Was that your hate fuck?" You smiled lazily, still trying to fully wake up.

"It was. Did you like it?"

"I did, but I don't think I can walk anywhere today..."

Your whole body hurt, and you were glad you had a day off before having to head to a new city for tomorrow's concert.

"Good that it's a free day."

"Mhm. Indeed."

"Do you want to see my love fuck next time?" Minho asked you, and you searched his eyes for any mockery. You were glad to see that you couldnt't find any.

"I do."

"Good. Let's go on a proper date, too." He said gently, petting your head lovingly.

"Okay." You smiled and grabbed his hand, kissing it. "Minho?"

"Yes, Violet?"

"Can you buy those dresses after all?"

"For your sister? Of course, love."

"I got you a ticket as well." You smiled at his choice of nickname, feeling your heart swell up with a new feeling.

"Thank you. I can't wait to go together." Minho replied, coming to kiss your lips.

~THE END~

38 notes · View notes

skzhocomments · 11 months

Note

Hello can i request one where the reader and Taemin casually meet eachother in Paris, and they have flashbacks because the city was their last trip together before breakup? Thanks:)))

Hello! TYSM for submitting a request. I know it took some time, but I got to writing it, and I hope you will enjoy it!

Rencontre moi à Paris (Lee Taemin)

Pairing: Lee Taemin (of SHINee) x Reader / OC (story is written in first person and no name is mentioned)

Genre: angst, romance, mature

Word Count: ~3.8k

Warnings: mature, swearing, angst, explicit sexual content.

This is just a story that doesn’t describe Taemin's true character in any way. It’s just a product of my imagination and should be treated as such.

This story is also on Wattpad (click here) and AO3 (click here)

A/N: As any other writer out there, I would appreciate reblogs and your comments on this story. Please let me know if you enjoyed it, and most importantly, have fun!

Summary: basically the request

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Mature content ahead.

18+

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Rencontre moi à Paris (Lee Taemin)

Paris.

Bustling cafés, crowded streets, and people rushing either to their jobs, or to the newest art gallery with temporary exhibitions opened in town.

The rampant palaces, domes and monuments built in a Gothic style contrast the tall buildings with intricate sculpted designs, making the city the perfect mix between modern and traditional, between functional and pleasant to look at.

It's already been 5 years since I've last been here, and walking through these busy streets again feels simply surreal. Many memories I tried to forget about are resurfacing, and even though I enjoy seeing this city again, my mind wanders off to that time, and it feels bittersweet.

I breathe in the November air and continue walking, the familiar unfamiliarity somewhat comforting, and after 20 minutes of going through narrow passages in-between boulevards, I finally reach my destination, and I'm glad to see it's still here, opened, despite the unappealing area that's surely deprived of tourists to keep it alive.

Rencontre moi à Paris – or 'Meet me in Paris', a café I accidentally stumbled upon last time I came here after getting lost with my then-boyfriend.

The weather that time was similar as it is now, and I, too, am similar, even if it's been 5 years since then. The only difference is that now I have an umbrella, whereas then we stumbled upon this café soaked wet and dripping from the merciless rain outside, both of us unequipped and powerless against the black November clouds. That was nothing new, though, as we almost always ventured into things unprepared, head-first as if we were invincible, and our relationship was no different.

Maybe that's why it all went down in flames, leaving me this acidic feeling in my stomach.

It's funny, really. I haven't thought about him in years, but being here, all of the sudden I'm the same 25-year old girl with hopes and dreams, madly in love with him, and heartbroken by his absence, to the point of no return. This truly makes me realise that I never got over him, and I probably never will. It's just that the gaps between thinking about him got longer, they became years instead of seconds, and I somehow turned 30 and haven't seen or spoken to him in 5 years.

After standing like an idiot in front of the café in the pouring rain, I realise that it's best to walk in. The smell of freshly roasted coffee beans immediately invades my nostrils, and I smile to myself noticing the décor is still the same, with vintage round metal tables and matching slightly rusted chairs in front of the large arched windows viewing the street.

I head to the table I once shared with him, displeased to notice a half drunk coffee cup with steam still coming out of it, and a discarded coat on the back of the chair.

Tsk. I utter to myself and sit down at the next table, my back turned to that space filled with good memories and laughter.

I lazily grab the menu and skim through it, pondering between a hot tea and a coffee. On one hand, I'm feeling pretty tired and could use the caffeine, but on the other, bad weather is most enjoyable with a cup of warm tea, so I settle for some green tea, the perfect mix.

Looking outside absent-mindedly, I follow the raindrops fallen on the large glass windows. There is no sign of anyone brave enough to set out in this weather. I don't hear the person behind me returning to their seat, and I get startled when they tap me two times on the shoulder.

I turn around, and my eyes can't believe what I'm seeing. I must've gone as white as a ghost, because he starts chuckling immediately, his warm smile sending alarm bells to my poor heart, that started beating faster.

There he is, dressed in black trousers and a black fitted turtleneck, with his brown hair and perfect pearly whites, looking at me with surprise in his eyes.

"It's really you! How weird to meet you here!" He exclaims with a soft chuckle, and I stand up, shocked.

"Taemin...?" His name plays on my lips, burning my tongue. I haven't said it out loud in years. In fact, I avoided it like the plague, afraid of what saying it would make me think about, but now that I said it, it felt like it was the most natural word that ever came out of my mouth, like my lips missed it, and they wanted me to shout it out all this time I've stayed silent.

All of a sudden, his arms encircle my body and he pulls me in for a hug, and my body reacts unconsciously, grabbing onto his waist and holding tightly, not wanting to let go.

However, we let go, as we can't possibly stay embraced in the middle of a café. I'm not sure he wanted to, anyway.

"What are you doing here?" I ask him, feeling my eyes swell up with tears that I try to swallow back. He looks like he's moved on, and his life looks amazing, and everything is fine, but I... don't really want him to know about mine. I tried so hard to stay away from him, but now...

"I should be asking you the same thing." He chuckles. "Would you join me for a cup of coffee? Or a warm tea, since I know it's your favourite drink when it rains."

I smile, remembering how attentive he's always been about my likes and dislikes. Even when we accidentally found this café 5 years ago, we got caught up in the rain because I mentioned in passing that I'd love to see an unknown painter's works and he found an exhibition in some obscure museum with 15 reviews on Maps. With his bad sense of direction and both our phones discharged, we unsurprisingly got lost, and ended up finding this place to take shelter in from the rain.

I nod and sit down at his table, in my exact same spot from the past, just as the waitress brings me my green tea, her eyes scanning the familiarity between me and the man in front of me.

"Being here, I kept thinking about us. What have you been up to?" He asks me with curiosity, slightly leaning in, as if he would hear me better. He always used to do that in the past, which I loved. It felt like being listened to, being heard.

"Oh, you know... just the usual. Work, chill in bed with Kkoong, meeting up with friends. Nothing much, and certainly not as interesting as what you've been doing." I smile, pointing at his successful career.

"Mhm. Even if my work took off, I truly am the same simple guy I was when we used to-" He abruptly stops and scans my face, before changing the subject. "Anyway, is Kkoong good? Ddaeng misses you two."

"I miss you- I mean, I miss Ddaeng as well." I correct quickly, mentally slapping myself for letting my heart take the lead.

Of course I missed him. So many years have passed, and I am still stuck in a state of inertia. Being with him here again, at this same café, feels like we are still the same clueless 25-year-olds, visiting Paris for the first time, full of hopes and dreams that would only end up crashing and burning in front of our eyes as the weight of the world got too much for us to bear, and love doesn't conquer all.

Taemin doesn't seem to mind my little slip-up. He knows how I've always worn my heart on my sleeve. After all, we've been together for many years, before ultimately breaking up. He knows me the best, and I know him like the back of my hand, still.

"The name of this café is pretty ironic." He says, and I raise an eyebrow.

"Ironic? How so?"

"I mean, Meet me in Paris? Isn't it funny that I've searched for you everywhere in Seoul, but I ended up finding you here, in a café lost in time on the outskirts of Paris?" He looks at his coffee cup, now empty.

Perhaps as empty as the two of us.

Taemin has always been like this, expressing himself in cryptic ways, especially when it comes to feelings that don't easily lend themselves to words.

He searched for me? I wouldn't have known.

When we broke up, I decided to let go of everything I once knew, and left my life with him behind. I took Daeng and I left, I changed my number, deleted my socials, and did everything to stay out of radar, while Taemin did the exact opposite, being everywhere: on billboards, in magazines, on TV...

We were simply too different from each other. We lived in incompatible worlds.

"I also didn't expect you to be here." I smile. "Isn't a star like you too busy to waste his time in a deserted café?" I mock his fame, and he blushes. "Also, I assume the drinks are on you."

"Of course they are!" He exclaimed quickly.

"I don't know, you used to be pretty stingy with money." I shrug playfully, and his cheeks only grow redder. He gets embarrassed and avoids my gaze, before scratching his nape and starting apologetically.

"I was kind of an ass, wasn't I?"

We both laugh, and we talk about anything and everything, watching as day turns to night and noticing the exasperated gaze of our waitress.

"The poor girl wants to go home." I say after a while, noticing her sighing for the 10th time in the past 3 minutes. We've been her only clients today, and she probably hated us for spending so many hours and ordering drinks one after another.

"Would it be so inappropriate of me... to invite you back to my hotel?" Taemin asks hesitantly, and I so desperately wished I had the power to refuse him.

But I don't refuse him, because I missed him, and I want him so much still, and just for these few hours spent talking to him, I felt like breaking up with him might've been a mistake, because I was so painfully still in love with him.

He is perhaps but a guilty pleasure.

We walk out of the café at the end of the world and begin walking slowly next to each other. The rain has stopped, and even if the ground is still wet, Paris stays pretty.

The way we are quietly walking next to each other is in such a stark contrast to how we left the café 5-years ago, embraced, and in love, and loud, that it's almost funny. Maybe we've matured in the meantime, or maybe we just aren't brave enough to grab onto each other so openly in the street anymore.

Maybe we simply aren't as happy. Taemin used to smile so much more brightly, being able to light up any room he was in with his cheerfulness. I've never been that joyful, except for when we were together, because he used to bring out the best in me, until he didn't.

Actually, thinking about it, Paris was not only our last trip together, but also the last time I recall being happy next to him. We broke up not even one month after, and it felt so life-altering in that moment, that it's funny to think that it was simply a regular Wednesday morning. Caught in the moment, he said things he regretted, and I paid him back in the same coin, and it was just the last drop that filled the glass of on-going arguments and differences between our life choices.

I know that we didn't work out because we wanted different things from life, but at the end of the day, it's just water under the bridge.

We continue walking to the hotel without saying much, and I wonder how people see us. In the past, they would be looking at us and chuckling to themselves seeing two dumb idiots in love, but now, there was a palpable tension in the distance between our bodies, that wanted nothing more than to touch each other again.

Of course, his hotel is 5 stars in a good area, and his room is on the last floor. We hop on the elevator and wait and wait and wait, and it's moving so slow, it's eating at me and making me reconsider if this really is a good idea.

Last time we were together, we made out everywhere. On the street, on empty hallways, under the burning eyes of the paintings at the museum – but now?

I turn around with determination and watch how awestruck he is still looking at me, 5 years later, and I wrap my arms around his neck and let my body take the lead, remembering his. Our lips brush against each other shily, but after a few seconds, automatism kicked in.

It's way too easy to fall back into each other's arms.

We start kissing passionately, his hands holding onto my hips so tightly, it might bruise, as if he were afraid I would disappear if he didn't hold onto me, and he pins me up against one of the walls and sticks his tongue down my throat. It's so obvious that my mouth missed him, as they sync perfectly, and it feels as good as it feels bad, like we're eating popping candy each time our tongues touch.

Thankfully no one joins us in the elevator, and Taemin keeps grabbing onto me as we make our way towards his room, that's so large it's ridiculous.

We had limited financial resources back then, so our rooms when travelling were always small and cramped, but we were in love, and it didn't matter. A room this large must've felt cold, when he was here alone.

My back finds the mattress of his king size bed quickly as he undresses me hungrily, and soon enough I am naked waist-down and he is towering over me with a look of raw desire in his eyes.

He presses small pecks on my abdomen and kisses downwards slowly and sloppily, until his mouth makes contact with my thigh, and he spreads my legs apart. I let him do whatever he wants, I just revel in the feeling and let my body remember how he felt like on top of me.

When his mouth connects to my core, tongue licking stripes up and down, I roll my head back and put my hand in his hair, caressing him gently, letting him know what a good job he's doing. He's always loved praise, especially in bed. I wonder if his partners after me knew how to praise him; these small gestures and touches that make him feel appreciated.

His tongue continues working on my clit for a bit, before he moves it down, teasing my entrance, just as he knows I like it.

"You taste so good, baby." He says, letting his tongue enter me, and I moan.

"Taemin, please." I whine, impatient to feel him more.

"Please what?" He chuckles, and I playfully slap him on the head, when he looks at me, a dumb smirk playing on his lips.

"I want you so bad." I whimper, and his smirk drops. He immediately gets on top of me, pressing his body against mine, as if he were my knight and I, his Queen, and I've commanded him something.

There is no time to think anything through with the urgency he's undoing his belt, and the feeling of fullness is quick to overcome me as he slips his dick in me, thrusting mercilessly as if it's the last time we're ever going to be together.

And it might be.

The room is filled with moans and whimpers, and we hang onto each other desperately, our bodies remembering each other perfectly. Our clothes are quick to disappear completely. He slips my blouse off and clasps off my bra, his mouth instantly connecting to my nipples, and I, with the same neediness, grab on his turtleneck and help him take it off. Seeing his naked body, I involuntarily clench around him, and the way he moans sends shivers down my spine.

"I missed you so fucking much." He says, voice full of painful beauty as he kisses my collarbones and nibbling on the sweet spot between them and my neck, and I melt once again against his touch, and I know that I'm going to get my heart broken again, but once you start something and the lines start blurring, it's already too late to stop, for you get greedy and you want more.

"I missed you too." I cry out and indulge myself in his touch.

The way he caressed my body was still the most intimate someone touched me. I've had my fair share of partners before him, and many others after, and this still hasn't changed. Taemin's body and mine are made for each other, and this fact gives my heart a sharp pang.

"My love, ever since I lost you, I searched for you in every woman I've been with. I am no longer creative, and I so desperately want it all back, the way it was. I want us back." He confesses while he's thrusting in me.

But what point is there in wanting? I think, but it's so hard to stay focused, with his dick grazing against my sweet spot over and over, when I'm almost seeing stars.

My toes become a curling mess and I wrap around him, and oh, how well he knows me, for he realises I'm so close, and knows exactly how to move his hips right, and I reach my high and hold him so tight, our shadows become one, completely indistinguishable. It's so good that I start getting ashamed of the loud sounds I'm making. Taemin, however, doesn't seem to mind, it even seems to send him over the edge, because his thrusts become sloppy, and his eyes are closed tightly; he looks focused, faint lines on his forehead giving him away.

I am moaning his name, and he is moaning mine, and dancing the Devil's tango has never felt so right, but in the end, if what we're doing is a sin, then we should just be sinners.

He presses his plum lips on mine, muffling both our moans, and he comes inside me, cupping my face with his hands.

"My muse, please don't leave me again... I promise you I won't make the same mistakes..." He kisses me hard, and if until now I was able to control my tears, they are now breaking my wall of strength, and he wipes them off my cheeks with his thumbs and kisses them away.

"Taemin... empty promises will wear..." I say, and he shakes his head.

"Please... don't leave me again... I've just found you..." He insists, sounding so needy, I melt. But how can I go back to how we were in the past? What if what he's feeling for me is not love, but limerence?

I no longer want to make any mistakes. We were so wrong for each other; what guarantee is there that this time we'll get it right?

At the end of the day, we are still different people, living our lives in different ways, so...

He guides me to the bathroom and we wash each other, just as we used to do. Five years ago, when we came here, we had such a small bathroom, we barely had space to shower at the same time. This bathroom now, however, is so much bigger, it's almost uncomfortable.

There's too much space between us we simply can't fill.

We then head to bed and fall asleep embraced, but as I always used to, I wake up way too early, and being tangled up in his sheets like this makes me think that maybe giving us another chance wouldn't be so bad. However, even if we share the same bed, we still have different dreams, and that's not something that can get changed easily. If it were, we would've never broken up in the first place.

I get up, careful not to wake him up, and get dressed slowly, thinking thinking thinking thinking.

I could get out and make sure he'll never see me again.

But... is that what I really want?

~one year later~

Paris is still the same bustling city I remembered it to be, but my safe corner is as quiet as usual.

Rencontre moi à Paris still smells of coffee beans, the chairs are still rusted, and not much has changed in a year, except for the wallpaper on the wall that's slightly ripped around the corners.

I slowly head to my table, occupied by a brunette man in a black fitted turtleneck, who sits with his back turned.

I don't say anything, I simply walk over and sit right in front of him, in my empty chair, and he raises his gaze from the cup, his eyes glimmering in the soft lights.

"Taemin." I smile. "You really came."

"You're fucking crazy." He shakes his head in disapproval. "Who leaves like that?"

"Like what?" I chuckle and play dumb.

"Like what?" He imitates me, and I stick out my tongue at him. "Normal people leave their phone numbers at least, but you?! You fucking- who the hell leaves a note like this?!" He angrily takes out a napkin carefully folded and throws it on the table in front of me.

Rencontre moi à Paris, 18 November, 15:00. Is what is written in pen in my handwriting.

Seeing it, I chuckle.

"You kept it!"

"What if I wouldn't have been able to change my schedule and come here?" He scolds me, but I just shrug.

"That would've meant nothing's changed, and that I made the right choice to not give you my number last year."

"I told you, didn't I? I won't make the same mistakes again. I really want to make us work."

"Then... shall we go back to your hotel? I really missed you. Besides, we don't want the waitress to stare daggers at us again, do we?" I whisper with a slight laugh and stand up, giving him my hand, and he takes it quickly and kisses it tenderly.

"I missed you too, my love. Please never disappear on me again..."

I smile and nod, and we get out of the café hand in hand. His thumb slowly brushes against the back of my hand, and I smile, because I truly missed him, and I was glad he actually listened to the stupid note I left on the napkin and came here.

Perhaps we won't fuck it up this time around, and we will finally be happy together, for we are already in madly love, and time apart hasn't changed that.

After all, two negative signs added together make a positive, right?

~The End~

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