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#straight people are hard
murasaki-kageyama · 1 year
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Yor: "R-Roid works hard sho we can live a comfurble life..."
Camilla: "No one care how 'confurble' it is. This is a gripe session, so make with the gripes!" *I want so badly to hear you say your marriage sucks...*
Millie: *I want so badly to tell you to dump your hubby...*
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[List of Loid being Best Boi]
Camilla: "I know what this is--He's running some kind of marriage scam. He's conning you, Yor!"
Millie: "Yeah, that! Dump him before he swindles you for all you have!"
Yor: "N-no! That ishn't true! (I'm the one who's scamming him...) Ish...having gripesh about your partner normal?"
Camilla: "YES! HARD YES!"
Millie: "You're only lovey-dovey in the beginning."
Sharon: "It's all the more normal when you live together."
Camilla: "Like when Dominic and I have a date, and he shows up 20 minutes late and just goofily laughs it off. I could kill him dead on the spot."
Sharon: "I feel the same way when my husband wastes a bunch of money or starts giving me excuse after excuse..."
Millie: I know! When my partner starts bad-mouthing all of my interests, I just wanna stab him right in the heart!
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Drunk Yor: *What's thish?! It'sh like dating and marriage turnsh every pershon into an assassin! Why didn;t the Shopkeeper tell me marriage would do that?! Is what's shtrange about me jusht that I was a killer before I got married? What should I do? Should I tell Camilla and the othersh about Thorn Princes...? No, I can't do that. Calm down, Yor.*
[Proceeds to dream about asking Shopkeeper to kill off Loid to keep the illusion of normalcy, and then somehow imagines Twilight Loid and Thorn Princess fighting, as if killing him is literally the only moment they could reveal themselves to each other. And has to snap out of it by the picture of Anya crying for them to stop fighting.]
The Straights Are Not Ok.
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daisukoth · 5 months
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"Shuro loved Falin for reasons he hated Laios" i feel like im going insane. no he didnt. he hated Laios for personality traits Falin doesn't show; being dense, having no tact, annoying him with his interests. you dont even know why the fuck Shuro liked Falin. All you know is he saw her looking at a caterpillar (she didnt fucking eat it)
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lynaferns · 9 months
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There are two types of DCA artists evolution:
-Nose got bigger over time.
-Nose got smaller over time (almost disappearing sometimes)
-(third option) there was never a nose.
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hellishgayliath · 8 months
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Donnie isn't allowed to watch Mecha anime because he'd say "I can do it better"
The problem here is that he actually can do it better.
Well, it's a problem for everyone but Donnie, that is.
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How's it feel to be the funniest person rn anon
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waterghostype · 5 months
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mm ^_^
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fumifooms · 9 months
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Chilchuck analysis speedrun: As a hardworking half-foot who grew up poor and discriminated against and had his gullibility taken advantage of multiple times in his early adventuring days, Chilchuck thinks optimism is a dangerous flaw. He’s stressed and strict all the time because his job is noticing details like traps that could get everyone killed before anyone knows it, he takes the lives of everyone to be on his shoulders, and with the way he speaks about it that probably partly reflects how he felt about taking it upon himself to provide for his family too. His life’s always been pretty centered around work and has become even moreso now that his wife left and everyone is independent, and due to past events he’s very iffy with bonding with coworkers. He thinks feelings and job are a disaster mix. Like with his wife or with parties hiring him as sacrifice, being open or having good faith is vulnerability which can get you hurt, so he processes and shows all his stress as anger instead of worry. Doing strict dieting probably isn’t helping the irritability what with hunger, and on top of being a hunger suppressant alcohol might be the main stress reliever he has.
His grey hairs are so earned
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#Chilchuck tims#dungeon meshi#analysis#HAPPY CHILCHUCK DAY#You know what yeah understandable have a good day#Alcohol be a ticket straight to chilling out town I suppose#Spoilers#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#Thinking on if I should split my family masterpost into diff posts for max reach hmm#I’m def editing in the second page into that post that “I’ve got three people to think of here” sounds sooo much like that’s#how he’d think about it in a family setting as well. He works so hard for them 🥺#I could have put 100 pics on this post to justify everything I mentioned but this is a speedrun for a reason. I’m planning so many#compilations rn i need a break from rereading lol#He’s just here to do his work!! He just wanna do his work!!!#I’m always rotating him in my brain like rotisserie chicken :( Hopefully this doesn’t sound disjointed or insane to average readers#He’s always on his guard so he has a short fuse and his type of humor & liking for snarky remarks doesn’t help#Also bc he knows nothing lasts he has a very work hard play hard mentality where ‘dying doing something you love. Like drinking’#is nice in his opinion#This post makes it all sound so dry. Chilchuck is so messy thinking about him is thrilling I swear. This is concise but at what cost…#OH ALSO he has weird self-hate issues where he really values his skills but devalues himself on a personal level.#‘I am a coward. I only care about myself. I cheated on my wife (lying for no reason)’ etc etc#Can’t disappoint people and make them leave you if they already have no expectations and esteem of you 😏💡#Laws are important to him bc he knows how bad punishment is if you break them and how they’re the key to getting better rights
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moussedoodles · 2 months
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"Love makes reality invisible, and no one around you can understand why you do the things you do, for something that can cause you so much pain. Because you know after all the fighting, tears, and uncertainty, it’s all worth it."
– Auliq Ice
I've got exams in two weeks, let me have this 😭
anyways a quick painting test with the boys on their first date (ever, in White's case) because I like them a normal amount✌️
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fantasykiri5 · 4 months
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A pair of birds of prey for days 15 and 16 of @hermitadaymay !!! Definitely not a day and a half (?) late
#my art#Hermitaday#hermitadaymay#hermitadaymay2024#hermit-a-day may#Hermit-a-day may 2024#Hermitcraft#hermitcraft fanart#falsesymmetry#falsesymmetry fanart#welsknight#welsknight gaming#welsknight fanart#WHY DID I DECIDE TO DRAW THE STUPIDEST POSE FOR FALSE AND ARMOR FOR WELS AND WINGS FOR THEM BOTH ALL IN ONE DRAWING…#These cunts have six total hours tracked on them… I didn’t even do a background because they took so long…#and thats not even counting looking for armor and feather references like this took two straight days#I’m very proud of it though#anyways they’re NOT related I was in the middle of drawing and realized they looked uncannily alike. So I made the wise decision to give-#-Wels the same mole I give False and the same little lower lash because they’re nose and eye shapes already matched#they’re not siblings (shown by one of them not even being an actual raptor bird) but they do look uncannily similar#and I’ve decided now that my False and Wels like to just lie to people and say they’re twins for fun.#They both have fucked up doppelgängers they would find it funny.#anyways False is a red tailed hawk (specifically a dark morph)#and Wels is a peregrine falcon#armor is so hard to draw guys never draw armor it SUCKS. I did get to have Laois Dunmeshi Touden on my screen for reference the whole time-#-I was drawing Wels though so it’s not all bad#still baffled I draw the human body part of that pose for false so easily though. Fully believe I was possessed by one of the Greek muses-#-or something because I do not know enough about anatomy to have that shit memorized but it looked normal when I looked at it so. Shrugs#anyways YES i will get to Etho tomorrow… I may just draw him WITH Joe because I wanna draw him but I don’t wanna think about posing two-#-difference pieces… though then I’d have to pose them together… but the appeal of putting a Kakashi cosplayer and a muppet next to each-
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hysteriafossil · 6 months
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guess who finished tlok tonight and immediately had this come to him in a vision!!!!
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amygdalae · 5 months
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have never understood why squatting is considered a crime. loitering too. sir you have been arrested for the crime of....chilling. and hanging out. and taking a little nap
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codgod · 1 year
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y’know generally i try to limit colour palettes to as few colours as possible to make things more cohesive but despite my best efforts only jay ended up being able to stick to that </3
ANYWAYS here’s the as-of-right-now fully updated designs for these dickheads. these will no doubt undergo even more tweaking as i draw them more but this is a start i guess. also pls open the pictures to look at them properly i worked so hard LOL
some random notes under the cut yaaaay
chip —
he jingles when he walks. somehow he’s still stealthy. i do not know how
kept the platinum ring that bonded him to gillion in the block! because hey he doesn’t really have a reason to take it off (and it’s a nice reminder of how much gill cares about him, and how far their friendship has come since that ice arena)
his tattoos shift and flicker like actual flames, and sometimes (harmless, purely aesthetic) sparks fly off them when he’s excited
i just think smoke coming out of his mouth when he’s angry would be cool :]
chipped teeth from biting rocks and coins all the time :/
he has scars from the red lightning, they’re just mostly contained to his back and shoulders. they’re a similar red to his coat even once they’ve healed
gillion —
the tail sleeve thing is so he can rest it on the ground without damaging his scales, he doesn’t usually wear it when he’s just on the ship because the wood is soft enough that it’s usually fine + it can hinder swimming a bit. it’s mostly meant for places where there’s cobblestone or gravel streets and such. i think his armour would probably have a version that looks similar but covers the whole tail minus the fins, maybe with some armour plating of its own. i didn’t draw it because there wasn’t any room lol
his scars from the lightning are pink mostly because red stood out too much tbh. they softly glow in the dark the same as his coral and the pink parts of his fins
also kept his ring! his hands aren’t really made for jewellery, though, because the webbing means it won’t sit very secure on his finger. so he keeps it on the same chain as the necklace he got from aslana to keep it safe
tried to make him look a bit bulkier and more his age than in my original design? i feel like i was leaning too much into the naivety and. shortness. originally lol. he also has thicker eyebrows now and i’m still trying to decide how i feel about them but i think? i like it? i don’t tend to give many character thin eyebrows so it could’ve been a unique thing for him but alas
i think i made the sword too small but like ignore that
also forgor to include pretzel </3 that’s okay though she can get her own design sheet later. she’s special like that
jay —
i believe in tall jay supremacy
blue magic! i was considering gold but that’d look a bit more like a canary than i wanted for her wings so. blue jay :]
her hair is supposed to look kinda like fire to mimic her dad ! kinda showing that even if she runs from her family and the navy they’ll always be a part of her. and also i just like drawing messy hair
i gave her sturdier gloves just because i feel like it fits her better. also changed up the shirt to more of a button up solely because i don’t like tank tops very much LOL
i did WANT to make her outfit a bit flashier to match the boys better but i couldn’t quite figure out where to Put the flash. maybe that’ll come later, the way the story’s going i might get to design some cool prosthetics for her or something
overall —
because there’s just so many fucking colours i triiied to add at least one or two colours from each of them into the others designs. jay has her necklace with each of their main colours on it, her wings are the same blue as gillions eyes, her jacket and right eye are the same dark blue as destiny’s blade, her hair is the same orange as the lighter part of chips tattoos. chip has a dark green sash under all the belts, the same as the hilt of destiny’s blade. they all use the same shades of black, gold, and brown
the only real exception is gillion doesn’t have anything from the other two because he has Such a specific colour palette and he already had so much going on as-is orz jay was obviously the easiest to do this with because she has both warm and cool colours in her palette by default lol (and i did her design last, so that helps)
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housewifebuck · 1 year
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pinklemonslices · 23 days
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i think one of the things i’m the most disappointed about missing out on is charles realizing he’s in love with edwin, of course because i love them and i want to see them together, but specifically because i was so excited to see him be bisexual. i myself am bisexual and i barely ever see bisexual representation, and i just knew it would have been handled with so much care, like the rest of the show’s queerness. rest in peace to my darling beloved bisexual king
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redysetdare · 9 months
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I said it once and i'll say it again the sooner the queer community drops the idea of the straight Boogeyman the better off we will all be. The sooner y'all accept that straight people can also be queer the easier it becomes to accept identities you don't understand.
Straight and queer are not opposite. They aren't contradictory. They aren't mutually exclusive. If you can accept that cis people can still be queer then straight people can to.
Straight trans people exist. Straight aspecs exist. They are all still queer. Grow the fuck up and get over it instead of throwing a fit because things are not about you.
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dragzo · 8 months
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oh Red Son no-
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firehose118 · 3 months
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“We’re just helping each other out on a long shift. It’s not gay,” Sal says into the air of the empty station bathroom as he wraps a hand around Tommy’s dick, and then in the same breath, “No one can ever know.”
Tommy nods, too far gone in the fantasy-come-to-life of what’s happening to dwell on the irony there. He’ll pick that apart later. For now, he has what he’s craved for so long within his grasp, he just has to reach out and take it.
He gets his hand on Sal’s dick in return and revels in the way it twitches under his touch. Tommy wants to moan with how good it feels to touch another man like this, to be touched by one. But he has to pretend this is friend stuff—normal straight guy shit, not the stuff of waking wet dreams—or else it will be taken away from him.
{finish on ao3 or continue below}
Tommy tries to match Sal’s pace: hard, fast, efficient. He thumbs through the liquid gathering at the head, twists his hand on the upstroke, but doesn’t let himself linger—even as his body is screaming for him to slow down and savor it. This might be his first and last chance to have this.
The way Sal is looking right at him is unexpected. He’d thought Sal would look away, pick a tile on the wall and stare at it, pretend this isn’t happening, but no: Sal is in it, studying Tommy’s face in that passive slack-jawed way of his. Tommy keeps his expression carefully neutral but he’s worried even that will give him away.
Sal’s mouth drops open on a silent moan when Tommy’s thumb drags along the vein on the underside just right, so Tommy does it again harder. He wants Sal to like this. He wants Sal to want to do this again.
Tommy is losing focus quickly. Sal isn’t working as hard to impress him, isn’t pulling out different moves to see what he likes, but his hand is big and warm and calloused and masculine around Tommy’s dick and it really doesn’t need to do anything else to have him panting and leaking.
He’s thought about this so many times and the reality of it is even better than he could have imagined. Every bit of energy he’s not using to give Sal the handjob of his life he’s putting into not whining and humping Sal’s hand like a dog.
He takes half a step forward before he can stop himself; needing to be closer. Sal huffs but he doesn’t say anything, doesn’t step back.
They’re so close to each other now that Tommy could wrap his hand around both of their dicks and jerk them off like that. He knows it would feel good, wants it more than anything in this moment, but it would be a definitive step over the ‘not gay’ line into territory he’s not sure Sal will follow him willingly. It’s this or nothing, so Tommy chooses this.
“You close?” Tommy asks. He is. He can already feel it rising in his stomach, his balls, licking along his spine. He wants Sal to come first, to hide whatever his own orgasm is going to look like in the mists of Sal’s pleasure.
Sal nods. His face is inches away from Tommy’s and he looks like he wants to say something, but he doesn’t.
When it happens, Tommy feels it. He doesn’t know why he didn’t expect to—he always feels the pulsing of his own dick as he comes—but to feel another man’s dick twitch and spasm as it shoots warm into his hand has Tommy biting back a moan so quickly he chokes on it.
Sal comes with a low groan and Tommy is helpless to follow. For as long as he’s wanted this—wanted Sal—he thinks he could’ve come from that sound alone, but the way Sal’s big hand tightens on the next few strokes is the last thing he needs to send him hurtling over the edge.
Tommy’s forehead drops to Sal’s shoulder without permission and he keens high in his throat as the pleasure rips through him. It’s easily the best orgasm he’s had in years and he’s instantly terrified of what that means.
He shoves it down. Later. He’ll think about that later.
Tommy pants, coming back to himself, and he gives himself two more seconds of physical contact with Sal before he pulls back completely.
They both lean against the hard tile wall of the bathroom and catch their breaths.
“Good?” Tommy asks, giving a joking half-smile. He knows the answer but it seems like a safe enough way to start talking again.
“Jesus, kid,” Sal laughs. “Yeah. It was good. Where the fuck’d you learn how to do that?”
He grabs some paper towels to wipe his hand off, then gives them to Tommy to do the same.
“Lonely childhood,” Tommy says. It’s true but it’s not the answer. “Dad had a lot of porn mags he’d leave around. I spent a lot of time jerking off. Figured yours doesn’t work too differently from mine.”
That look is back in Sal’s eyes like he wants to say something, but he stays quiet again. He just shakes his head and laughs.
Sal walks towards the door but stops before he opens it. “Give it a few,” he says. He doesn’t look back at Tommy but he has a small smile on his lips still. Tommy takes that as a win.
Sal leaves and Tommy is left alone with the enormity of what just happened. It was good. It was hot. Sal clearly doesn’t hate him, isn’t disgusted by him. He seemed almost… intrigued.
Tommy will sort out the shame and elation he feels swirling inside of himself like oil and water later.
For now, he washes his hands, splashes some water on his face, and gets back to work.
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