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#issue 79
murasaki-kageyama · 1 year
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Yor: "R-Roid works hard sho we can live a comfurble life..."
Camilla: "No one care how 'confurble' it is. This is a gripe session, so make with the gripes!" *I want so badly to hear you say your marriage sucks...*
Millie: *I want so badly to tell you to dump your hubby...*
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[List of Loid being Best Boi]
Camilla: "I know what this is--He's running some kind of marriage scam. He's conning you, Yor!"
Millie: "Yeah, that! Dump him before he swindles you for all you have!"
Yor: "N-no! That ishn't true! (I'm the one who's scamming him...) Ish...having gripesh about your partner normal?"
Camilla: "YES! HARD YES!"
Millie: "You're only lovey-dovey in the beginning."
Sharon: "It's all the more normal when you live together."
Camilla: "Like when Dominic and I have a date, and he shows up 20 minutes late and just goofily laughs it off. I could kill him dead on the spot."
Sharon: "I feel the same way when my husband wastes a bunch of money or starts giving me excuse after excuse..."
Millie: I know! When my partner starts bad-mouthing all of my interests, I just wanna stab him right in the heart!
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Drunk Yor: *What's thish?! It'sh like dating and marriage turnsh every pershon into an assassin! Why didn;t the Shopkeeper tell me marriage would do that?! Is what's shtrange about me jusht that I was a killer before I got married? What should I do? Should I tell Camilla and the othersh about Thorn Princes...? No, I can't do that. Calm down, Yor.*
[Proceeds to dream about asking Shopkeeper to kill off Loid to keep the illusion of normalcy, and then somehow imagines Twilight Loid and Thorn Princess fighting, as if killing him is literally the only moment they could reveal themselves to each other. And has to snap out of it by the picture of Anya crying for them to stop fighting.]
The Straights Are Not Ok.
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akagami-itadori · 2 years
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Oh, hey, Toji isn’t actually dead! A whole “Surpass Your Strong Asshole Father” thing!
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Random Art AI Issue 79
Issue 79 of Random Art AI - Four New Pieces of AI-Generated Art! 
Welcome to Issue 79 of Random Art AI! Each issue showcases four unique pieces of AI-generated art. At the end of each month, we release a special collection containing all the issues for that month. 
0:00 - Intro 
0:15 - Radiant Resplendence The Sparkling Star of Anime Beauty 1 
0:40 - Golden Serenity Luna's Waterside Elegance 2 
1:05 - Enchanted Elegance The Adorable Prom Princess Variation 1 
1:30 - Enchanted Elegance The Adorable Prom Princess Variation 2 
1:52 - Outro 
Twitter (Gaming & AI Art) 
https://twitter.com/zero2zedGaming
Instagram (AI Art) 
https://www.instagram.com/random_art_ai/
Check out the full playlist of Random Art AI issues 
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLFJOZYl1h1CFQwIos4hSlQEDNsb3gMdYd
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lbhslefttiddie · 22 days
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"Shen Jiu, you really are a demon!"
in which yue qi saves an injured fox kit, which turns out to be an young fox demon. once he's recovered enough strength, he adopts a human form so that he can talk to yue qi properly, but ends up being caught by the slave traders as well. Since he can change form, it would be pretty easy for him to escape, but if he's discovered as a demon he'll never be able to return, and he has no home or family anyways, so he decides he would rather stay and help qi-ge, who will probably get himself killed without someone to stop him from doing stupid shit.
when shen jiu saves yue qi from death by horse carriage, and subsequently is bought by qiu jianluo, fairly quickly qjl realizes he is not human, and delightedly gifts him with a enchanted collar, which renders him unable to chnage forms, stuck in him demonic form and unable to change to full fox or full human shape. like this, he cannot leave the qiu manor at all without immediately giving himself away, even if qjl hadnt also locked him up. like this, he has no choice but to wait until yq makes his way back to the qiu manor at last, but when he's finally freed, he's initially almost feral from how he's been treated, and very nearly kills yqy...
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levemetal · 23 days
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Day 2: Timeloop / Xiao Qi and Jiu Ge
I am cringe and I am not even free
Feel free to reuse this idea but 24 hours are not enough for me to finish an entire comic. I could have taken the simpler prompt but nOOOOOO timeloop is too tempting. Past me why are we like this
#svsss#shen jiu#yue qingyuan#qijiu#qijiuweek2024#the basic idea for this was that both yqy and sj remember each loop#the loop started after their individual deaths in PIDW and resets them to close to disciple era#aka the time Yue Qi was in the caves and SJ presumably got away from the Qiu household or was already with Wu Yanzi#I imagine the first few loops they qi deviated so hard from the shock that they didnt even make it like 1 hour in the loop before beingrese#and then had a few loops just fucking around and finding out#eventually they realise that the other has the memories of all loops and so begins the talks and figuring how tf they can get out of this#maybe they resolve their issues with the promise or not your choice tbh#they try different plans and methods#but they keep dying (read: SJ keeps dying first and YQY either dies or sewerslides not soon after) and getting reset with no end in sight#until the last pages where the svsss timeline begins#SJ got replaced with SY and the system isn't letting YQY join him in death or smth nor letting him do anything about SY being there instead#And due to their closeness from being immensily tired from all the loops#YQY notices it immediately but can't do anything about it#the bonus for SY is that this timeline was very kind to LBH & co - 79 figured by now that keeping him in the sect and happy was their best#bet at staying alive - or well at least for longer#I'll continue this storyline in one of the future prompts of this qijiu week#btw the one with the cliff is just the whoopsie daisy timeline where SJ accidentally falls into the Abyss trying to keep LBH from falling i#79 had a bit of a good laugh about that one#cw death#cw violence#cw blood#cw angst
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lesbianleonardo · 1 year
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i need to pick apart idw splinter’s brain
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herra-eddelkopper · 2 years
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I mean. You ARE 43 years and Almost Every Bat Media Ever older than Jason/Tim
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daydreamerdrew · 9 months
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ok, it is charming to me that Natasha and Bucky both fought in WWII as teenagers but Natasha about 80 years old when they reunite because she actually lived through all that time whereas Bucky is in his early 30s because he spent so much of that time frozen
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iww-gnv · 7 months
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New York lawmakers proposed three new bills last week that would make it difficult for wage theft violators to conduct business in the state. The legislation would bolster the power of state agencies to crack down on wage theft by stripping violators of their liquor licenses or business licenses, as well as issuing stop-work orders against them. The legislation was prompted by reports of rampant wage theft against New York workers, including two investigations published by Documented and ProPublica. The stories revealed that more than 127,000 New Yorkers have been victims of wage theft during a recent five-year period, but that the New York State Department of Labor was unable to recover $79 million in back wages owed to the workers. The stories were based on an analysis of two databases of wage theft violations obtained from the U.S. and New York Labor departments. The databases provided previously unreported details on how much money had been stolen from workers and also shed light on which businesses had committed wage theft. “We knew from our conversations with labor and from our constituent service caseload that wage theft is a chronic problem,” said Sen. Jessica Ramos, a Democrat who sponsored the legislation. “We did not have the data to understand the scale of the issue in New York state until the ProPublica and Documented series came out last year. Having this reporting as a tool set us up to put this package together and focused our attention on” the capacity of the Department of Labor. The legislation — dubbed the “wage theft deterrence package” by lawmakers — includes three bills, which are co-sponsored in the State Assembly by Assembly members Kenny Burgos, Harvey Epstein and Linda Rosenthal.
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HELP DISABLED GAZAN CHILDREN 💚
This is a list of fundraisers for disabled Gazan children with a variety of different needs. These children are suffering immensely - on top of bombings and starvation, many of them need immediate medical care not currently available in Gaza. I’ve matched each one with a unique item you can get in exchange for a donation.
Please do take the time to look through this list, and PLEASE donate to these kids if you can!!! It is extremely important that they get the help they need, and every single bit counts!!!
Abdulaziz Alostath is 12 and has a severe neurological disability
→ Verified by el-shab-hussein and nabulsi (line 37)
→ You can get an art commission from lubia-zenite if you donate
Anonymous child one is 5 and has cerebral palsy
→ Verified by el-shab-hussein and nabulsi (line 13)
→ You can get an art commission from kyra45 if you donate
Anonymous child two is 12 and has suffered a stroke
→ Verified by Operation Olive Branch (line 219)
→ You can get an art commission from oneleggedgiraffe if you donate
Adam Maqadma has cerebral palsy
→ Verified by Gofund(water)Me(lons) (line 197)
→ You can get an art commission from oliviasometimesdraws if you donate
Adham Alnhall has brain atrophy
→ Verified by Gaza Families (line 110)
→ You can get an art commission from jetskibubbles if you donate
Ahmed is 12 and autistic
→ Verified by Operation Olive Branch (line 89)
→ You can get an art commission from thecraftydragonc if you donate
Basel Ayyad’s daughter has a worsening visual impairment
→ Verified by el-shab-hussein and nabulsi (line 214)
→ You can get an art commission from werewolf-transgenderism if you donate
Fadi and Monda Younis’s daughter has a respiratory disability
→ Verified by Operation Olive Branch (line 91)
→ You can get an art commission from froggycakes if you donate
Farah Abu Shabana is 16 and has metabolic syndrome
→ Verified by el-shab-hussien and nabulsi (line 79)
→ You can get the chance of winning an art commission from 3-baekan if you donate
Hamza Abed is 9 months and has severe food allergies and intolerances [⚠️ GRAPHIC IMAGE]
→ Verified by nabulsi
→ You can get an art commission from Creatives For Palestine if you donate
Iman Abu Hasanein is 15 and autistic
→ Verified by Operation Olive Branch (line 168)
→ You can get an art commission from artflameball if you donate
Jana and Jehad have phenylketonuria [as of 6/28/24, donations are being matched!]
→ Verified by Gaza Funds
→ You can get an art commission from sillydogprints if you donate
Joan Al-Habil has an immune deficiency
→ Verified by el-shab-hussein and nabulsi (line 163)
→ You can get an art commission from rebecca-levin-art or rootoftaboo if you donate
Khaled Eyad is 8 and has suffered a brain tumor and a stroke, and is visually impaired
→ Verified by Operation Olive Branch (line 40)
→ You can get an art commission from badface if you donate
Lamar Khalaf is 14 and has severe asthma
→ Verified by Fundraisers - Gaza/Sudan/Congo & more (line 172)
→ You can get an art commission from Artists 4 Gaza if you donate
Lyin Fares is 13 and has asthma
→ Verified by el-shab-hussein and nabulsi (line 121)
→ You can get the chance of winning an art commission from kiirodora if you donate
Majdi Qraqai’s son is 12 and autistic
→ Verified by Operation Olive Branch (line 187)
→ You can get an art commission from petartforpalestine if you donate
Mohamed Harouda is 9 and has Down Syndrome
→ Verified by Operation Olive Branch (line 87)
→ You can get an art print from Kelsey Short if you donate
Mohammed Maliha is 13 and has severe respiratory issues
→ Verified by el-shab-hussein and nabulsi (line 160)
→ You can get the chance of winning an art commission from spidersarecannibals if you donate
Mohammed Ayad is 14 and has Down Syndrome
→ Verified by Operation Olive Branch (line 395)
→ You can get an art commission from hauntedparkinglot if you donate
Muhammad Asfour has Down Syndrome
→ Unverified but quite legitimate - I am in direct contact with his brother who is organizing the fundraiser and have every reason to believe it is 100% legitimate
→ You can get a writing commission from magnus-rhymes-with-swagness if you donate
Nai is 4 and has brain atrophy, which has caused a hearing impairment and muscle spasms
→ Verified by Operation Olive Branch (line 106)
→ You can get an art commission from csuggsillustration if you donate
Omar Al-Laban has suffered brain damage and is a wheelchair user
→ Verified by Operation Olive Branch (line 185)
→ You can get an art commission from smallsmallwitch if you donate
Omar Shanna has cerebral hydrocephalus
→ Verified by Gaza Funds
→ You can get an art commission from pufffinn if you donate
Yahya Aziz Aziz is 12 and has a brain tumor
→ Verified by el-shab-hussein and nabulsi (line 181)
→ You can get the chance of winning an art commission by bocceclub if you donate
Yazan Alzaanin is 14 and has Down Syndrome
→ Verified by Gaza Funds
→ You can get an art commission from ezegerarts if you donate
Yusuf is 8 and has kidney failure
→ Verified by el-shab-hussein and nabulsi (line 177)
→ You can get the chance of winning an art commission from tortiefrancis if you donate
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akagami-itadori · 2 years
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Mmmmmmmmmmm
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NLRB rules that any union busting triggers automatic union recognition
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Tonight (September 6) at 7pm, I'll be hosting Naomi Klein at the LA Public Library for the launch of Doppelganger.
On September 12 at 7pm, I'll be at Toronto's Another Story Bookshop with my new book The Internet Con: How to Seize the Means of Computation.
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American support for unions is at its highest level in generations, from 70% (general population) to 88% (Millenials) – and yet, American unionization rates are pathetic.
That's about to change.
The National Labor Relations Board just handed down a landmark ruling – the Cemex case – that "brought worker rights back from the dead."
https://prospect.org/labor/2023-08-28-bidens-nlrb-brings-workers-rights-back/
At issue in Cemex was what the NLRB should do about employers that violate labor law during union drives. For decades, even the most flagrantly illegal union-busting was met with a wrist-slap. For example, if a boss threatened or fired an employee for participating in a union drive, the NLRB would typically issue a small fine and order the employer to re-hire the worker and provide back-pay.
Everyone knows that "a fine is a price." The NLRB's toothless response to cheating presented an easily solved equation for corrupt, union-hating bosses: if the fine amounts to less than the total, lifetime costs of paying a fair wage and offering fair labor conditions, you should cheat – hell, it's practically a fiduciary duty:
https://www.jstor.org/stable/10.1086/468061
Enter the Cemex ruling: once a majority of workers have signed a union card, any Unfair Labor Practice by their employer triggers immediate, automatic recognition of the union. In other words, the NLRB has fitted a tilt sensor in the American labor pinball machine, and if the boss tries to cheat, they automatically lose.
Cemex is a complete 180, a radical transformation of the American labor regulator from a figleaf that legitimized union busting to an actual enforcer, upholding the law that Congress passed, rather than the law that America's oligarchs wish Congress had passed. It represents a turning point in the system of lawless impunity for American plutocracy.
In the words of Frank Wilhoit, it is is a repudiation of the conservative dogma: "There must be in-groups whom the law protects but does not bind, alongside out-groups whom the law binds but does not protect":
https://crookedtimber.org/2018/03/21/liberals-against-progressives/#comment-729288
It's also a stunning example of what regulatory competence looks like. The Biden administration is a decidedly mixed bag. On the one hand there are empty suits masquerading as technocrats, champions of the party's centrist wing (slogan: "Everything is fine and change is impossible"):
https://pluralistic.net/2023/01/10/the-courage-to-govern/#whos-in-charge
But the progressive, Sanders/Warren wing of the party installed some fantastically competent, hard-charging, principled fighters, who are chapter-and-verse on their regulatory authority and have the courage to use that authority:
https://pluralistic.net/2022/10/18/administrative-competence/#i-know-stuff
They embody the old joke about the photocopier technician who charges "$1 to kick the photocopier and $79 to know where to kick it." The best Biden appointees have their boots firmly laced, and they're kicking that mother:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/08/16/the-second-best-time-is-now/#the-point-of-a-system-is-what-it-does
One such expert kicker is NLRB General Counsel Jennifer Abruzzo. Abruzzo has taken a series of muscular, bold moves to protect American workers, turning the tide in the class war that the 1% has waged on workers since the Reagan administration. For example, Abruzzo is working to turn worker misclassification – the fiction that an employee is a small business contracting with their boss, a staple of the "gig economy" – into an Unfair Labor Practice:
https://pluralistic.net/2022/01/10/see-you-in-the-funny-papers/bidens-legacy
She's also waging war on robo-scab companies: app-based employment "platforms" like Instawork that are used to recruit workers to cross picket lines, under threat of being blocked from the app and blackballed by hundreds of local employers:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/30/computer-says-scab/#instawork
With Cemex, Abruzzo is restoring a century-old labor principle that has been gathering dust for generations: the idea that workers have the right to organize workplace gemocracies without fear of retaliation, harassment, or reprisals.
But as Harold Meyerson writes for The American Prospect, the Cemex ruling has its limits. Even if the NLRB forces and employer to recognize a union, they can't force the employer to bargain in good faith for a union contract. The National Labor Relations Act prohibits the Board from imposing a contract.
That's created a loophole that corrupt bosses have driven entire fleets of trucks through. Workers who attain union recognition face years-long struggles to win a contract, as their bosses walk away from negotiations or offer farcical "bargaining positions" in the expectation that they'll be rejected, prolonging the delay.
Democrats have been trying to fix this loophole since the LBJ years, but they've been repeatedly blocked in the senate. But Abruzzo is a consummate photocopier kicker, and she's taking aim. In Thrive Pet Healthcare, Abruzzo has argued that failing to bargain in good faith for a contract is itself an Unfair Labor Practice. That means the NLRB has the authority to act to correct it – they can't order a contract, but they can order the employer to give workers "wages, benefits, hours, and such that are comparable to those provided by comparable unionized companies in their field."
Mitch McConnell is a piece of shit, but he's no slouch at kicking photocopiers himself. For a whole year, McConnell has blocked senate confirmation hearings to fill a vacant seat on the NLRB. In the short term, this meant that the three Dems on the board were able to hand down these bold rulings without worrying about their GOP colleagues.
But McConnell was playing a long game. Board member Gwynne Wilcox's term is about to expire. If her seat remains vacant, the three remaining board members won't be able to form a quorum, and the NLRB won't be able to do anything.
As Meyerson writes, centrist Dems have refused to push McConnell on this, hoping for comity and not wanting to violate decorum. But Chuck Schumer has finally bestirred himself to fight this issue, and Alaska GOP senator Lisa Murkowski has already broken with her party to move Wilcox's confirmation to a floor vote.
The work of enforcers like DoJ Antitrust Division boss Jonathan Kanter, FTC chair Lina Khan, and SEC chair Gary Gensler is at the heart of Bidenomics: the muscular, fearless deployment of existing regulatory authority to make life better for everyday Americans.
But of course, "existing regulatory authority" isn't the last word. The judges filling stolen seats on the illegitimate Supreme Court had invented the "major questions doctrine" and have used it as a club to attack Biden's photocopier-kickers. There's real danger that Cemex – and other key actions – will get fast-tracked to SCOTUS so the dotards in robes can shatter our dreams for a better America.
Meyerson is cautiously optimistic here. At 40% (!), the Court's approval rating is at a low not seen since the New Deal showdowns. The Supremes don't have an army, they don't have cops, they just have legitimacy. If Americans refuse to acknowledge their decisions, all they can do it sit and stew:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/05/26/mint-the-coin-etc-etc/#blitz-em
The Court knows this. That's why they fume so publicly about attacks on their legitimacy. Without legitimacy, they're nothing. With the Supremes' support at 40% and union support at 70%, any judicial attack on Cemex could trigger term-limits, court-packing, and other doomsday scenarios that will haunt the relatively young judges for decades, as the seats they stole dwindle into irrelevance. Meyerson predicts that this will weigh on them, and may stay their hands.
Meyerson might be wrong, of course. No one ever lost money betting on the self-destructive hubris of Federalist Society judges. But even if he's wrong, his point is important. If the Supremes frustrate the democratic will of the American people, we have to smash the Supremes. Term limits, court-packing, whatever it takes:
https://pluralistic.net/2020/09/20/judicial-equilibria/#pack-the-court
And the more we talk about this – the more we make this consequence explicit – the more it will weigh on them, and the better the chance that they'll surprise us. That's already happening! The Supremes just crushed the Sackler opioid crime-family's dream of keeping their billions in blood-money:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/08/11/justice-delayed/#justice-redeemed
But if it doesn't stop them? If they crush this dream, too? Pack the court. Impose term limits. Make it the issue. Don't apologize, don't shrug it off, don't succumb to learned helplessness. Make it our demand. Make it a litmus test: "If elected, will you vote to pack the court and clear the way for democratic legitimacy?"
Meanwhile, Cemex is already bearing fruit. After an NYC Trader Joe's violated the law to keep Trader Joe's United from organizing a store, the workers there have petitioned to have their union automatically recognized under the Cemex rule:
https://truthout.org/articles/trader-joes-union-files-to-force-company-to-recognize-union-under-new-nlrb-rule/
With the NLRB clearing the regulatory obstacles to union recognition, America's largest unions are awakening from their own long slumbers. For decades, unions have spent a desultory 3% of their budgets on organizing workers into new locals. But a leadership upset in the AFL-CIO has unions ready to catch a wave with the young workers and their 88% approval rating, with a massive planned organizing drive:
https://prospect.org/labor/labors-john-l-lewis-moment/
Meyerson calls on other large unions to follow suit, and the unions seem ready to do so, with new leaders and new militancy at the Teamsters and UAW, and with SEIU members at unionized Starbucks waiting for their first contracts.
Turning union-supporting workers into unionized workers is key to fighting Supreme Court sabotage. Organized labor will give fighters like Abruzzo the political cover she needs to Get Shit Done. A better America is possible. It's within our grasp. Though there is a long way to go, we are winning crucial victories all the time.
The centrist message that everything is fine and change is impossible is designed to demoralize you, to win the fight in your mind so they don't have to win it in the streets and in the jobsite. We don't have to give them that victory. It's ours for the taking.
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If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/06/goons-ginks-and-company-finks
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nonsensical-pixels · 9 months
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it's finally done! 🎊 to the (multiple people) who requested this, i'm so sorry for taking so long to finish it up, but hey--it's here now, just in time for the new year! i hope you enjoy this conversion of @syboubou's enchanted dreams kids' set as much as i enjoyed making it 💓
there are 25 new build/buy items to delight your littlest and not-so-little sims, all low to medium-poly. this set features not just my first functional playmat (showcased above by babble broke!) but also a functional toddler bed cloned from one of @themediocresulk's, a one-tile crib cloned from @hugelunatic's, another monique's hacked computer, and much more! peek below the cut for the deets 👇
DOWNLOAD: SFS | MF 🌼
credits go to @syboubou for the original ts4 meshes & textures, @themediocresulk for the toddler bed as a pet bed (but for toddlers) that i cloned the toddler bed from, @hugelunatic for the one-tile crib that i based the wicker stroller off of, enjatoki (deactivated?) for the playmat mine is cloned from, and anyone else whom i've probably missed! 🥰
DESCRIPTION
Originally by Syboulette for TS4, converted to TS2 by nonsensical-pixels. Part of the SYB Enchanted Dreams Bedroom Set.
THINGS TO NOTE
The Crib has no animations, owing to its shaping, so expect clipping when babies are put in and out. The Changing Table has no trash can attached, so expect some awkwardness when sims throw trash into the void. The Computer functions as a Monique's Hacked Computer and requires the files from it to work. The Dresser is repositoried to the Changing Table. The Playmat is FULLY FUNCTIONAL and functions like the Baby Mat from the TS2 Store. The Trash Bin is completely decorative. The Wicker Stroller is cloned from a 1-Tile Crib by HugeLunatic and is functional! Only babies can be placed inside. The 12 Wallpapers each have two versions; to fill a whole wall with one alternate between A and B for seamless textures.
ITEMS INCLUDED
Bed Light - 400 polys, $49 Ceiling Lamp - 280 polys, $89 Changing Table - 556 polys, $349 Computer - 1298 polys, $1799 Crib - 848 polys, $219 Crib Drape - 864 polys, $109 Desk - 1148 polys, $399 Desk Chair - 1226 polys, $99 Dresser - 504 polys, $309 Ducks Toy - 1062 polys, $29 Kid Bed - 3658 polys, $299 Kids Books - 92 polys, $29 Lamp - 650 polys, $89 Little Alchemist Table - 2648 polys, $299 Lunch Box - 392 polys, $99 Nightstand - 240 polys, $119 Playmat - 723 polys, $100 Potty - 942 polys, $149 Rug - 2 polys, $79 Stuffed Rabbit - 1656 polys, $99 Toddler Bed - 1396 polys, $199 Trash Bin - 252 polys, $49 Wallpaper - 12 swatches, 2 variants each Wall Tree Light - 1128 polys, $99 Wicker Stroller - 1424 polys, $399 A collection file has been included for ease of browsing the catalog.
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if there are any issues that you find with this set, please don't be afraid to let me know! happy simming, and when you download this, do keep in mind,
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( @4t2ccdatabase )
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periipheral · 1 year
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velouria rugs !!
all the rugs in this collection can be purchased at ruggable.com but since i am broke i made them for my silly pixel game !
base game compatible
two download options!
a merged file with 79! swatches
or 5 separate files to choose which collections you want
gif previews and download under the cut <3
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download here !! (sfs)
if you have any issues please don't hesitate to reach out !!
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lonelypep · 1 year
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every smash bros character ranked by how good of a cook i think they’d be.
82: piranha plant
eating this dish will kill you instantly. turns out he spit some poison in there while no one was looking. and yeah, that sucks, but if you even accepted a meal from this guy i think you have bigger problems
81: ridley.
let’s be real, if you let this guy into the kitchen, you made a huge mistake. it’s like john mulaney’s horse in a hospital sketch: you never know what he’s gonna do next. you’re too focused on getting him out.
80: king k rool.
king k rool is many things. a king, a pirate, a scientist. but he is not a cook. he’ll try, but he has literally no clue what he’s even doing in the kitchen.
79: yoshi
yoshi will give you a dish and you’ll be like “what the fuck is this” and he’ll talk about how it was made from the finest newborns of his home planet. i’m deciding to ignore it but it’s really nagging at me.
78: sonic
sonic shouldn’t be on this list. because he wouldn’t make you any food. he’ll go to the local sonic and get a burger in about 3 minutes. it sucks. disqualified.
77: pac man
what can i say. it tastes like literal plastic. i don’t even wanna know how he made it. i’ll give it back to him but the nice thing about pac man is he wouldn’t give a shit.
76: bowser jr.
fuck this guy. he rage quit at making a grilled cheese. now there’s a literal canonball in the stove. now no one else can use it!! this is what happens when you spoil kids.
75: pikachu/pichu
these two are in the same category since they’d make the same thing. they’d get store bought french fries and fry them with lighting outside. it’s consistent, it works, just not really filling. and they don’t know how to make anything else.
74. wario
don’t get me wrong: he knows what he’s doing. he’s the burger king of smash. he’s this low because the burger is the most unhealthy shit you’ll ever have. eating it gave you chronic diarrhea, gastrointestinal issues, and permanently damaged your taste buds. but god fucking damn was it a good burger.
73. hero
he gave you a single piece of bread with butter on it. it’s not bad but…really dude?
72: olimar
he didn’t make you a bad meal, in fact it was one of the best here. but that’s because he didn’t make you something. it was the pikmin and he’s trying to pass it off as his own and the pikmin don’t know because they don’t speak english. 0/10: not fucking cool dude.
71: kazuya
honestly? i don’t trust this guy. i was too intimidated to even ask his name. from what i can gather no one even invited him to the party he just showed up and made a mediocre meal. what’s weird: someone came into the kitchen and claimed this guy killed their whole family. we never saw that guy again. needless to say, kazuya wasn’t invited to the afterparty.
70: link (botw)
don’t get me wrong here, link is a five star chef. he’s just really unsanitary. apparently he cut the meat and vegetables with the same sword he killed calamity ganon with. i don’t wanna taste that guy!! have you seen him?? not to mention he pulled the meal out of his pants. i don’t even know how it fit in there.
69: inkling
she made a pancake and i thought it was good! but i absolutely can’t condone this. inkling left so much fucking weird slime and shit all over my house. and got really competitive when she heard i was getting meals from everyone else. i hope they’re all ok.
68: ROB
it was so processed. the most processed food i’ve ever had in my entire life. it’s not his fault, rob is a great guy. but this tasted like literally nothing.
67: ice climbers
when they told me they were making dessert, i trusted them. but i let someone else taste test first. my best friend was sent to the hospital because of tongue frostbite. didn’t even know that was a thing. i made the ice climbers pay for it (they’re fucking loaded)
66: villager
he made isabelle do it. and she made something great! but i’m not giving this cretin credit for having the money to afford a five star chef. you don’t deserve it because you sold a shit ton of tarantulas villager!!
65: lucario.
dude got really mad and destroyed my kitchen. he’s REALLY lucky he got the burger PERFECTLY cooked.
64: male byleth.
like this dude knows how to cook. he can barely make chicken nuggets. he has to eat in the school cafeteria simply because he never learned how to cook a simple meal. but he’s a really nice guy. total himbo. love him.
63: ryu
i asked this guy what he likes to eat. big mistake. he then went on to say that his training regiment doesn’t condone copious indulgence (his words) and he lives off of nothing but protein shakes. you do you i guess.
62-61: fox/falco
these two went into the kitchen and came out with weird alien food. i didn’t eat it but everyone else seemed to enjoy it
60: greninja
when he first came out i was so excited. he came out with the most finely sliced food i had ever seen in my entire life. but it was soooo watered down. everything tasted like celery. how do you make crab taste like celery?? how??!
59-58: simon/richter
these guys both made the same exact fish recipe, came out at the same time, and proceeded to fight each other. i didn’t get to try any 😭
57-49: every fire emblem character.
genuinely, i can’t tell these guys apart. or their food choices. honestly, my bad. i’m sure they’re good. but where do i even start.
48: sheik
she doesn’t know how to cook. she kidnapped someone else. normally i wouldn’t put someone like that this high but a. i have gender envy b. it’s for the greater good (or so she said)
47: cloud
dude made a great sandwich but he kept screaming random noises while he did. personally, i’m just glad he managed not to destroy the kitchen. that’s a first here.
46: captain falcon
he promised he’d pick up some pizza but got into a car crash on the way there. eventually he got there after the car crash was all sorted out, but got into ANOTHER on the way back. i’m honestly kind of impressed
45: steve
steve could cook an absolutely fucking KILLER meal. he’ll even offer to do it for free. but you shouldn’t let him under any circumstances. he took 13 hours gathering materials and while the wait was, arguably, worth it, i never want to experience it again. (side note: we asked captain falcon to get some pizza while waiting which led to the aforementioned entry)
44: sora
sora doesn’t know how to cook but he’s by far the biggest name at this party. everyone fucking loves him. he’s friends with GOOFY. this dude hangs out with GOOFY. this guys has hung out with GOOFY AND jack sparrow. bad food but i could listen to this guy talk for hours about his story. i’m sure i’ll understand it all.
43-40: pokémon trainer
this guys organization is fucking atrocious. if he can actually get his shit together he’ll cook up some nice vegetarian meals, but that’s a big if.
HONORABLE MENTION: sans mii gunner
sans undertale is a world renowned, famous chef. his recipes are simple, but cooked with such love, care, and finess it turns a simple cheeseburger into a masterpiece. sans undertale would easily top this list. sans mii gunner is not sans undertale. he bought the real sans’ cookbook and thinks he’s some kind of cooking genius. and sure he’s got the recipes but none of the skill to actually make it.
39-38: samus/zero suit samus
hooray! we’re out of bad cook options now. samus is a great cook, but she’s so used to her alien delicacies she doesn’t know how to cook on earth anymore. shame, but i trust her to produce something edible.
37: shulk
he is really good at the grill. unfortunately, he refused to put a shirt on and made everyone a little uncomfy. that being said, he showed me the beach boys and i had never listened to them before. so he gets points.
36-35: pit/dark pit
these guys don’t know how to cook but the flew into the sky and killed some mythical bird for everyone to eat. i couldn’t have any, i’m pescatarian, but everyone else loved it.
34: bayonnetta
she opened a portal to a waffle house and a bunch of demons came flying out. she didn’t make anything, but honestly, absolutely legendary experience that was.
33: duck hunt
you’d think a dog wouldn’t bring anything meaningful. this would be false. that is the freshest duck i’ve ever seen in my entire life. (didn’t eat it: pescatarian)
32: king dedede
he made his legendary homemade mashed potatoes. everyone loved them. so creamy… weirdly perfect. too bad i hate the monarchy. sorry bud.
31: meta knight
meta knight is a great cook and should be higher. but i don’t want him to be. because he’s so fucking pretentious. he sliced all the food in front of everyone and wouldn’t shut up about radiohead. hate this guy.
30-29: daisy/peach
these two put all their private chefs together to make something for everyone. great catering, great food, but they didn’t technically make it. love them.
28: mewtwo
as if mewtwo wouldn’t just read someone’s mind and cook something. but it’s not mewtwo’s food…so…. sorry dude you cheated.
27: dark samus
she really surprised me here. she cooked up the most exquisite alien delicacies i’ve ever tasted in my entire life. should be higher. but unfortunately, i had to get a space parasite removed from my system by regular samus. honestly though… it was worth it.
26: ganon
he was rude to everyone about his cooking skills and wouldn’t stop bragging. asshole am i right? but surprised everyone by grilling his god damn heart out. he’s a bad try hard but like go off i guess.
25: isabelle
she’s trying her absolute fucking best and she deserves the world here. amazing cook, we need to save her from the island.
24: little mac
dude went so hard. brought new york pizza ALL THE WAY FROM NEW YORK. ok, not literally, but he made a damn good pizza
23: snake
full disclosure: snake doesn’t know how to cook. also no one knows he’s an agent. but he has to cook to blend in so you BEST BELIEVE this man is going to COOK like his life depends on it.
22-20: young link, ness, and lucas
all these guys are incredibly mature for their age. surprised everyone at this party. i had deep and philosophical conversations with all of them about appreciating life. i fucking cried. oh and they made everyone sandwiches, and even took my pescatarianism into account.
19: rosalina
she brought weird space ice cream and i felt my mind expanding as i ate it. love her.
18: mr game and watch
he feels like everyone’s dad! and he’s one of those cooks who cooks in front of everyone. dude flung his meals onto everyone’s plates expertly. love him.
17: joker
originally much lower on this list, joker showed up at my house and attempted to make a grilled cheese and made the worst thing i’ve ever taste. then he said something about gru from despicable me and stood in the corner for an hour. originally i had him towards the bottom but then he doordashed five gigantic burgers, ate all of them in one sitting, and then made me an expensive curry that tasted fantastic. dude went hard.
it was at this point i realized i made a mistake with the numbers. like hell if i’m going to fix the whole thing.
22: zelda
she made some weird food but damn was it pretty to look at! crystals, magic power, i mean good vibes all around here.
21-20: pyra and mythra
i feel like i should put them here since they’re confirmed to be good cooks in the game. but between you and me, i didn’t invite them. i’d consider some entries before this to be better cooks but at this point i’ve been working on this list for 8 hours i do not wanna go back and fix things please i mean this whole list is a joke no one should take this seriously
19: banjo and kazooie
these guys can fucking cook. they’ve been living on their own for a while so it makes sense but it still surprises me. they made a really big stew and even brought free puzzle games.
18: wolf
GRILL MASTER. dude knows what he’s doing on that thing. i’ve never seen better spatula work. holy shit.
17: kirby
kirby came in with some weird blonde hair and made some FANTASTIC ribs (that i didn’t have bc i’m pescatarian). weirdly, gordon ramsey went missing the same day…. i’m sure it means nothing.
16: mario
dude made some absolutely spectacular spaghetti. but he kept talking about how great he is and it really off put some people. kinda weird dude.
15: dr mario. dude brought 50 apples to the potluck. guess he doesn’t wanna see anyone in the office. and he didn’t because we ate them all. take that.
14: min min
she brought some soup dumplings which a lot of people hadn’t had! love her. literally fantastic. she had a whole arm for cooking. that’s what we call efficient.
13: ken
he’s kenough. he is amazing at barbecue. he can cook things with his hands, juggle, also he’s just a fun presence. (i made him make fake meat burgers for me)
12: jigglypuff
she showed up with so many pastries. like so many. not only that, but they were decorative!! she put so much work into that. love her.
11: luigi
he tried to make spaghetti like his brother but a literal fucking meteor slammed into his pot and cracked it. tough luck. then he offered to pay and i refused, but went out and got me some really expensive spaghetti anyways! he’s such a nice guy!! shouldn’t be this high… but i love this guy so much. he’s trying his hardest and i respect that.
10: toon link
toon link didn’t actually make anything. but his mom came and made everyone a salad. and honestly! his mom is some great company. she had so many interesting stories about his childhood. honestly she added so much to the function
9: terry
he is the BARBECUE MASTER!!!! literally what the hell how is he so good! everyone at the party kinda stereotyped him but he’s really really progressive with his views which you wouldn’t think for a big barbecue muscle guy in a baseball cap but everyone loved this guy.
8: mega man
the MASTER CHEF!! literally. he was on master chef. he uses thin round blades to slice vegetables, heats things perfectly, has an instance knowledge of spices, just damn. this guy knows what he’s doing.
7-6: bowser and donkey kong
common misconception: everyone thinks these two would have no idea how to cook. but these are FAMILY GUYS HERE!! they’re providing for absolutely gigantic families, these fuckers know how to make a sandwich and they did. initially they started off making separate sandwiches but they have a really similar recipe and decided to work together. and i really respect that. also turns out peach is just bowser’s kids’ babysitter.
5: palutena.
everyone expected her to show up with some absolutely mystical food. naturally, she showed up with the literal ambrosia of the gods. holy shit. unfortunately, she didn’t put as much effort into it as she could’ve.
4: sephiroth.
ok this guy didn’t really cook anything amazing. but his sheer fucking commitment to the vibe is literally legendary. this man has a long as sword he cut 10 veggies at a time with. he heat them with magic world ending fire. when he was done in the kitchen he surrounded himself with fire and gazed menacingly at me. his sheer commitment to the edge lord aesthetic is truly exemplary.
3: incineroar.
THE GRILLING GOAT!! this man is a grill master. he was prepared to grill ANYTHING. and i mean anything. fish, veggies, meat, fucking grilled cheese. love this guy.
2: wii fit trainer
she made the most well balanced and healthy salad i’ve ever had. and she made it taste extraordinary. she can be a little intense about fitness but i’ve never had a healthier meal in my life. it immediately lowered my extremely high cholesterol.
1. diddy kong
he’s about ten. he made you a pb&j. he had homework to do, but he made you a pb&j. he didn’t have to. he wasn’t asked to. he just wanted to make you a pb&j. he could’ve done anything else but he made you a pb&j. what heartless monster wouldn’t accept it.
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celaenaeiln · 11 months
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I literally can't take it anymore. I need to get this out of my system. This is a hate-rant about why almost every single thing Tom Taylor has written is wrong.
First and foremost is the bimbofication of Dick Grayson. Tom Taylor loves to write him like this idiot who doesn't think at all. Being cheerful does not mean being dumb.
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Nightwing (2016) Issue #79
"You seem unusually contemplative"? All Dick does is contemplate!
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Nightwing (1996) Issue #3
His mind is always running!
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Nightwing (2011) Issue #13
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Nightwing (2016) Issue #38
I just picked a random issue from all of these comics and in every single one of these, Dick's planning, thinking, and strategising constantly.
Tom Taylor literally treats him like he's stupid or something.
Also the degradation of his abilities
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Nightwing (2016) Issue #79
A vigilante for 20 years. Who has faced assassins, hitmen, psychos, surprise attacks, metas, and you're telling me he didn't know that a untrained kid snuck up and stole from him?
He forgot who he was, he didn't forget where he lived! Even when he was Ric Grayson, Dick had procedural memory. His battle instincts stayed with him.
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Nightwing (2016) Issue #52
"Then...I didn't even know what I was doing. I took him down--took him apart in seconds."
This man is a vigilante machine when he was amnesic. Why the heck would Dick ever let his guard down?
His robin reference
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Nightwing (2016) Issue #92
Even Bruce in Batman: Hush has said it-Dick was the best. His skills were the best of anyone he's witnessed which is one of the reasons why Bruce let him be Robin in the first place.
This scene is so wrong that there's a robin scene that came out before this in direct opposition of this Tom Taylor Shitshow.
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Robin & Batman Issue #1
This was actually pre-robin. Bruce had him do a solo-trial run to see his skill before he made him Robin and this was the result. Compare that to Tom Taylor's scene and the result is humiliating. For Taylor.
Tom Taylor's version of trying to show that Dick loves the people comes off as him hating crime-fighting. RIP the whole Robin firing drama and Nightwing birth i guess.
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Nightwing (2016) Issue #79
"We could have avoided all of this if we'd just stayed in and eaten kibble."
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Nightwing (1996) Issue #3
Dick would rather die than stop crime-fighting. After Blockbuster's first attempt, his life was hanging on by a thread and he still continued crime fighting.
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Nightwing (1996) Issue #91
After Blockbuster blew up his apartment, this is the single-minded determination Dick had to continue crime-fighting. This is him at one of the worst lows of his life but he refused to give up but now? He has everything and Dick wants to ignore the murder of a child to stay inside and eat kibble which - what the heck? I know he's seen as a happy character but him finding dog-food desirable is too far!
Also the idiocy of which Tom Taylor had Barbara calling the cops in Bludhaven for a stolen wallet. Newsflash! This isn't her first rodeo here.
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Nightwing (2016) Issue #81
vs
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Nightwing (2016) Issue #24
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Nightwing (2011) Issue #23
Given how Dick's easily defeated enhanced metas and "very good" fighters, him falling down the stairs is a little to absolutely impossible to believe.
Another thing I love about Dick that Tom Taylor deciminates is his grace. Dick is the most graceful person in DC. His balance easily matches Selina's enhanced cat powers.
But yet. You have.
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Nightwing (2016) Issue #83
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Nightwing (2011) Issue #23
yeah. okay.
Taylor's motorbike scenes of Dick make me so mad. The boy is a pro at crazy. It's one of his best traits because he does the wildest stunts and he pulls it off.
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Nightwing (2016) Issue #93
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Nightwing (1996) Issue #86
He lands on his feet. He grabbed a villain mid-air, crashed into a window, and was perfectly fine. Actually no, he's not fine because he's worried about his bike's paint job.
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Nightwing (2011) Issue #24
He just sailed over a whole crowd of people and started kicking butt like what he just did wasn't extraordinary - which for him is just another tuesday.
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Nightwing (2016) Issue #95
yeah, tell 'er Dick.
He doesn't need someone to hold his bike.
One of the worst things in Taylor's run is how Blockbuster went down. It suddenly reminded me of Selina's stupid ideology which is why I think I got so ticked off.
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Nightwing (2016) Issue #96
Blockbusters' thugs loyalty to him isn't a make it or break it deal. He's one of strongest criminal organisations and the knowledge that he owns one of the worst prisons that he could easily put his underlings into would've instilled fear into his thugs, not freedom. Furthermore Blockbuster takes good care of his people that don't piss him off. He teamed up with Nightwing in the scarecrow era in Nightwing (2016) because someone was messing with his people. He's extremely intelligent and superstrong, and he's not just going to be brought down by the knowledge that he owns a prison. It's Bludhaven. If he didn't, then there would be something suspicious given that he runs the city. It's the way Taylor dumbs down Bludhaven's villains that gets to me. Imagine him writing Batman (2016). It's like saying, "yeah the Joker was just a little misguided but he found the right way again after a stern talking to by Batman."
Nightwing is a big name.
When Dick first came to Bludhaven, one of the police officers was like we don't want your crazy here or something. Also Bludhaven loves Nightwing. They want him.
So why is everyone pretending like they don't know who he is?
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Nightwing (2016) Issue #90
The police, the citizens, the villains-all of them. Dick fought Brutale and beat the crap out of him way back in 1996 comic. He's a Bludhaven regular. Just because Dick forgot who he was doesn't mean anyone else forgot him. Amnesia doesn't work that way.
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Nightwing (2016) Issue #54
A whole team of Nightwings were formed during Dick's amnesic period because of how badly he was needed and missed. It's almost like the Tom Taylor run is set in an alternate universe.
I ran out of image space but what the absolute fiddlesticks is up with Dick being scared to jump. It better be a manipulation tactic but at this point I think Tom Taylor doesn't even know that Dick is manipulative.
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