#striving to put right what once went wrong

[hballegro]

the ideal way to watch quantum leap is actually via following me and watching clips i post with no context or clarifying details whatsoever, up to and including the actual plot of the show

[tojikai]

Sundered 7: TIES

Pairing: Gojo x reader

• Part 1  |  Part 2   | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Alt. Ending

Genre: Angst

tags/cw: angst, babydaddy!gojo, babymomma!reader, motherhood, insecurities, arguments, mentions of sexual assault

word count: 6.0k

And he was happy. But never the happiest.

Naomi couldn’t count how many calls she had made but the wetness in her cheeks is proof of how frustrated she already is. “Please, pick up.” She bit the inner side of her cheeks, tapping her feet on the tiled floor. Naomi regrets what she did. She regretted that she still proceeded despite knowing how wrong it was.

She warned herself not to be greedy at the beginning of their relationship. She remembered telling him they’d take it step by step, not rushing anything because they were determined to make it work. Now that she’s thinking about it, maybe he’s only determined because he wanted to forget about you so badly.

“Mom, please. He threw me out.” Naomi spoke on the phone, tapping her feet as she stood in the middle of her room with her things around her. She took all the things necessary and left. Satoru would probably put everything she left in the trash but that’s the least of her concern right now. She lost everything she had with Satoru and it’s all because of her stupidity.

“What did you expect? You sexually assaulted my son and you want me to help you?” The woman hissed at her. Naomi was naive; thinking that she’ll have her back just because she wanted her for Satoru. “If anything I could even get you arrested—” She began but Naomi was quick to defend herself.

“You’re part of this. Didn’t you basically tell me to use a child to keep your son?!” Tears of anger pooled in her eyes as her hands shook in fear, fury, and heartbreak. Naomi remembered when Satoru’s mom would free her schedule so she could spend time with him and Yui. She would suggest activities and let Naomi tag along and that’s how they started to fall for each other.

Or rather, that’s how she started to fall for him while he just wanted an escape.

“But I never told you to do that to my son! Naomi, do you really think someone would side with you on this?” Every corner of Naomi’s room felt like they were closing in on her, ready to squeeze her till she was nothing but dust. Of course, no one would be with her. No matter what Satoru’s mother told her, she still chose to follow it so the blame’s on her.

“For someone who finished school with flying colors, your mind is dull.” She chuckled, letting Naomi hear all she truly is. “You got a pretty face, you know? That’s another reason why you caught Satoru’s eyes easily.” At that point, Naomi didn’t know if it was still a compliment. She’s pretty and kind, and smart and perfect for him, like she said. But why can’t she have all of him?

“But I’m afraid that pretty face would be useless now. If I were you I’d go start over alone somewhere far.” She clicked her tongue, cutting Naomi’s thoughts off every time she tried to voice them out. “Like, imagine graduating only to get jailed over some dumb, desperate shit? Naomi, you screwed up. And that’s why you lost all chances with my son.”

Naomi shook her head, the warmness of her emotions dampened the smooth skin of her face. “No, you made me…” She breathed out, covering her mouth before running her fingers through her hair. “I didn’t want to do that…No.” She bawled and bawled but the line only went more and more silent.

She fucked up and she’s right. The shame and the loss of self-respect are not something she could live through in this city. She must go, she must leave. Like how they always did when she was a kid; fleeing the scene with her embarrassment of a family who can’t live without humiliating them. They have no decent source of living so they gotta strive.

Now, she’s doing all of it again, all while losing all of it. Again.

“Save yourself. I won’t let them know of your plan. After all, you were once of help to my child. I’m truly sorry.” With that, the call ended; with Naomi sitting on the floor as she put a balled hand over her throbbing chest, and the thought of going away to start as someone new settled in the middle of her head. Naomi learned a lot from all the troubles she went through.

This time, she learned that you could have someone's body but their heart could still be somewhere else.

—-------------------------------------------------

“What is it?” Satoru heard through the phone speaker. Taking a deep breath, he shut his eyes, letting relief flood his veins and calm his shaking flesh. “When are you free?” There was a long pause before Satoru’s father replied, “You know I can make time.” Clearing his throat, Satoru massaged his temples, thanking the heavens that his nightmares weren’t real.

“Let’s meet later if that’s alright.” He whispered, scared that his voice would break. Satoru knows that he is the only link between the relationship of his parents. Just like how his older brother would’ve been the connection his father was hoping to keep his first, real love close. Until they got tired of it all; the matters brought by his mother. And him.

Just like how she drained Satoru out. And right now he just wanted to run away from her too.

“Of course, just send me the exact time.” Satoru nodded as if his father could see him, “Are you alright?” He asked after a few seconds as if sensing the trouble from his son’s voice. “Yeah, much better now, at least.” Satoru rubbed his eyes as he shook his head, eyeing the negative results of the vaginal swab test. “Dad, Mom can’t know.”

He’s almost sure that the request would prompt questions from his father, knowing that he’s aware of how close he is to his Mom. But he was surprised when he simply agreed, murmuring an “Okay.” before letting his son end the call. Satoru pictured him on his office chair as he nodded away, brows furrowed with worry like he always is when it comes to family matters.

When Satoru was a child, his nanny would tell him that his father wasn’t always so workaholic when his ex-wife was still there, co-parenting with him. After she ran away and left, his father started to immerse himself in work more. He knows that he tried with his mother since they were already there and married. But it was just never the same.

His father was happy with them. But he could never be the happiest again.

Leaning back on the chair, he put a hand over his eyes and let his frustrations stream down his cheeks. He let out a shaky sigh, grabbing the papers before looking at them in a brighter light. It’s negative. Nothing happened. You woke him up just in time. He tapped on Naomi’s contact, quickly typing his last message before attaching a photo of the results.

‘I’m mailing the rest of your things tomorrow.’ It only took a minute for her to respond with an apology but Satoru doesn’t care anymore to read it. He blocked the number as soon as he made sure that she received and read the message. He doesn’t want to be anywhere near her.

He knows he is wrong for not telling her about his feelings as soon as he can. But that doesn’t equal what she did to him and what she almost got them into. Satoru checked the clock before sending the time to his father, hoping to end all of this mess before the mess ended him.

His mother has been calling him nonstop, and he always had to pretend that he was not home during the previous days. He stayed in watching movies with his little girl, sending you videos and pictures every now and then. He slept in her room during those days, a desperate attempt to calm his brain down. His head hurts from overthinking.

Putting the papers back into the envelope, Satoru took it with him to his room. He made sure to put it in his bedside drawer, just in case some other shit comes up. If this happened before, he’d probably think that Naomi is not that kind of person. But after what she did to him, all of the trust and admiration she has for her went to waste.

Changing into something more comfortable, Satoru tried to take a quick nap. He doesn’t want to look this tired when he meets his father. He’d probably convince him to get a general checkup just to make sure that nothing was wrong. Satoru knows that if it weren’t for him, his father wouldn’t ever put up with his mom. He’d probably spend his whole life searching for his ex-wife.

A few hours of nap felt like nothing because when Satoru woke up, he still felt tired. The only difference is his heartbeat doesn’t sound like it’s trying to come out of his chest anymore unlike when he was waiting for the results. A little progress is still progress; just like how he’s trying to make it all up to you.

If Satoru’s being honest, he’d fall down to his knees and beg you to take him back if you asked him to do it. The only thing stopping him is his brain telling him how happy you are right now and how he wouldn’t want to destroy that. He can’t force himself to stop thinking about you but he can force himself to move on if it’s for you.

Satoru leaned his elbows on the kitchen counter, reading a text from his father saying that he was on his way. Another text was from you; it was a picture of Yui holding up a coloring book and a crayon. He was just with her earlier but he misses her already. He wondered if he could visit when he doesn’t have other things to do even if it’s not his schedule yet.

Sending a response with a small smile on his face, Satoru heard the doorbell ring, signaling his father’s arrival. He peeked through the spaces of his window curtains to ensure that it was him before opening the door. Satoru’s still unsure of what he’ll say but he hopes that his father can give him a better solution.

Satoru thought that if he ever cut ties with his mother, it’d be for you and Yui’s safety. He didn’t think that it’d be for him too. “Dad,” He gave his father a hug as he stepped in, following his son as they walked to his house. “What’s going on?” He asked as soon as Satoru closed the door. They walked to the kitchen, settling on one of the barstools.

“It’s because of mom…” He began, placing a glass pitcher atop the counter.

—---------------------------------------

“Smile~ We’ll send this to Dada.” You cooed, pointing at the camera as you tried to take a picture of your daughter. At first, she didn’t want to do it, wanting nothing but to play with her book and crayons but when she heard that her Dad wanted to know about it, she got real creative with the pose. “You don’t listen to Mama, anymore.” You pouted at her as you hit send.

She scrunched her nose, sticking out her tongue at you before picking on her colors. You still can’t forget how dead Satoru looked when he dropped Yui off. You wondered what he talked about with his mother that caused him to be like that. Even with the soft tone of his voice, you could hear roughness that probably came from the lack of sleep.

If it concerns you, then you definitely have to know. His mother probably said something bad about you, but you doubt that it’s affecting Satoru by how he was talking and looking at you. He just looked so done with all of it, but even so, there was still a tender look in his eyes when they met yours.

You sighed while looking at your phone as you waited for a text from Toji. He’s been so busy with work lately, you’re just glad that you already talked about your problems. You had a feeling that it wouldn’t end well had it stayed unsaid for a couple more days. It wasn’t completely back to normal, but at least, you’re both trying to make it better for each other.

“I would try,” He whispered to your ear as he hugged you from behind, “I can’t promise not to think of her–“ You turned around, looking up at him with a solemn look in your eyes, “I’m not asking you to not think of her, that’d be selfish of me.” He nodded, kissing your forehead, “Alright, what I mean is, I won’t make any comparisons.” You hummed.

“I need you to stop worrying about Satoru and I.” You put your head on his chest, “I know it’s easier said than done, but I just want you to know that I am with you.” Your fingers traced figured on his skin, “I’m keeping that in mind.” He placed his cheek on top of your head, sighing deeply as he let go of you.

“I’m taking Megumi to my Mom’s.” He pushed your hair back with his fingers, making your eyes flutter close as you felt his face get closer to yours and his breath ghosting on your lips. “I’ll see you later.” He pecked your lips, “Take care, I love you.” He murmured as he gave you a long kiss, before turning to get their stuff.

One thing that you notice about Toji is that he never waits for you to say anything back. You don’t want to take the words lightly, but that doesn’t mean that you don’t feel the same way as him. You still have a long way to go, and you don’t want to rush anything. When you mention it to him, he just says that he needs you to hear it.

“Mama, look!” Your daughter pulled you out of your head as she showed you a picture of a cat, “Dada buy Yui.” You looked closely at the picture, laughing as you realized that she was talking about the cake that they ate. “Yeah, you're right! That's what Dada bought you!.” You patted her head as she giggled.

“Yui, baby. Did meemaw come to see you?” You held her small hands, trying to keep her attention to you. “No. No meemaw.” She pulled at your hair gently, trying to color it with her crayons. “What about…what about Naomi?” You can’t help but chuckle as she pretended to think, eyes looking up as she pouted her lip.

“No Naomi!” Her answer gave you a bit of an insight. You would assume that maybe she was just busy, but hearing about how Satoru’s mother reduced her workload made you doubt it. Satoru sent you tons of pictures during his time with her but you thought that Naomi just wasn’t in the frame.

If the ‘talk’ between her and Satoru didn’t end well, you could only assume that he already told her about it. He’s probably down because he wouldn’t want to hurt her like that. With all the progress Satoru has made, you doubt that he’d be so happy to have broken a heart. She was still once a friend to him.

A heavy feeling settles in the middle of your chest, like an anchor weighing your heart down, thinking about how his mother would probably find a reason to drag you for it. But if that’s the case, you’re sure that Satoru wouldn’t let harm come to you.

With how gentle Naomi was, you couldn’t think of a worse thing to happen.

——————————————

“What did she do this time?” His father looked away, clicking his tongue. If one would ask Satoru, his parents would’ve probably divorced years ago if it weren’t for him. His father knows how he is with his mother, and the thought of giving him a hard time switching between the two of them pained him.

Satoru wished that he thought about it too before he decided to go and selfishly start over with someone else. Your words the night he confessed to you echoed in his head. He came to a realization that you probably wanted to ask him to come back but held yourself back as he let you know how happy he was with Naomi.

And he was happy. But just like his father, he was never the happiest.

“I don’t really know how to open this up to you…” He bit his lip, “…But I just want this to be over, Dad.” Satoru felt so vulnerable at that moment. The only time he had a talk this serious with his Dad was when he found out about your pregnancy. It was just more of a news, unlike right now, which is a call for help.

“Naomi…Mom and Naomi talked about…” His father’s eyes coaxed him as if sensing his distress. “Naomi tried to…” Shaking his head, Satoru breathed out. “Naomi wanted to conceive. Because our relationship was falling apart.” He can see his Dad’s brows pull together to a scowl, probably getting a hint of what happened.

“She talked to Mom about it and she…” The man sat up straight, bouncing his leg like he already knew what his wife did. “She said Mom brought up the thing about how you and him got together.”It was hard to talk about this to his father, knowing how sensitive it can be for him. “Naomi told me about it. I recorded it, just in case—”

“Satoru, what did your girlfriend do?” Satoru looked down, fingers fidgeting like he was a kid again. “And your mother’s involved? What happened?” Rubbing his face, Satoru threw away all his fears. If he’s not going to fix these problems, then who will? “She got me drunk, and then she tried to sleep with me.” He blinked fast, watching his father’s face.

“I heard her talking to Mom on the phone, and I took it from her. That’s how I found out that she played a part in all of it.” It was hard for him to accept. The person he used to protect, the one he always tried to understand was the same person who betrayed and put him in this position; the position that also made his father the person he is today.

Another long silence surrounded them. His father’s hand was balled into a fist, covering his mouth as he blankly stared at the marble surface. “Where’s Naomi?” His father pulled out his phone, and Satoru could tell just what he was about to do. “I don’t know. I’m sending her things away. I’m cutting her off. I’m filing a protective order against her and mom–“

Satoru didn’t get to finish his sentence before his father spoke again, probably finally taking in the information he just provided him. “I’m divorcing your mother.” His mouth fell half-open. His voice was low, serious, and full of all the grief that he’s been feeling for years ever since he lost his first wife and son. “And I’m sending that woman to jail.” He added, raising a finger.

“There’s…I don’t want that.” He breathed out, earning a questioning look from his dad. “You don’t have to send her to jail. I…I messed up if I just told her that I still have feelings for Y/N, then she wouldn’t have resorted to that. She wouldn’t have talked to Mom and this wouldn’t have happened.” He stood up, leaning on the counter as he squeezed his eyes shut.

Satoru thought about it too when he caught her in the act. But after some reflection, he realized his shortcomings, his mistake of not just telling her about what was really going on. Even though there was no excuse for what she did, Satoru can’t help but feel like he’s the one who caused all of this to happen. And he probably really is; a victim of his foolish choices.

“But other than that, I don’t want Y/N and Yui to be caught up in this. I don’t want to expose them to this kind of problem, they’ve been through so much because of me already. I just want to do better this time.” Thinking about dragging you into another mess made Satoru feel weak. He promised to make it up to you, and he’d do anything to prove that.

His father put his phone down on the table, taking in a deep breath just to calm himself. “But you’re not stopping me from divorcing your mother.” Satoru doesn’t know if it’s right to agree to that. It felt like he was encouraging the separation of his parents; celebrating his mother’s heartbreak.

But his father’s been suffering heartbreak for years. It’s only fair to set him free.

“It’s up to you. I…” Satoru shook his head, sure of the decision he was about to make. “...I don’t think I can just forgive and forget what she did. It’s not something small, and I’m not a kid anymore, Dad.” His eyes itched, ready to let his tears go any minute. “I don’t even know if I still want to be associated with her.” He turned away, sighing as he blinked away his pain.

When he and Naomi went for the examination, he made her spill all the details regarding the said conversation with his mother. It took everything in him not to fly into a rage while breaking down as he heard of it. All this time, his mother saw him as a pawn to keep his father, regardless of whose life she was tearing down; Satoru’s, his father's ex-wife, and his first son.

“I wanted to take you away when you were a kid.” His father admitted, looking ahead as he reminisced of the decisions he made. “I wanted to just take you and raise you with your brother. Of course, with the hopes of getting my ex-wife back.” He leaned back, tapping on the screen of his phone. The bitter tone in his voice can’t be missed.

“That was my plan when I found out about you. But when you were about a year and a half old, she disappeared. All I knew was she was…tired; drained of all the chaos that our son and her were exposed to. What with having to co-parent with me as I was with your mother.” His eyes played the emotions he chose to hide away many years ago.

“I know you know about this. She and I got divorced. I thought it was over for us, I thought I made the right decision to turn away and try another start. And I was dating your mother. Then we had you.” His arms were crossed and Satoru could almost see the similarities between his feelings to how he used to feel about yours and his relationship.

“Then, realization came running for me; haunting me in my sleep. I was ready to get her back again, but it was too late. She was already gone.” Satoru absently poured water for his Dad, listening intently to his story. “So, I felt like the only thing to do was to marry your Mom. I reminded myself that still have you, I can’t just spiral down.” He smiled at Satoru.

“I tried to convince, tried to brainwash myself that it’d be fine. That I could learn to love her and I did. Just not the kind of love that lovers have.” If his mother could hear his Dad right now, she’d get shattered. Satoru doesn’t want to see that, but she would have to. She has to understand that she’s putting this man through.

“I loved her because she loves me; because she cares for you and me.” Leaning over to pick up his glass, he looked his son in the eyes. “But true love is unconditional, Satoru. It should not have a reason.” He took a sip, pursing his lips before continuing. “Reasons might vanish, and when it does, so will the love you feel for that person.”

In the middle of it all, Satoru could only think of you. Why does he love you? When did he realize that he loves you? How did it happen? He doesn’t have an answer for it. He cannot find a reason for it. He doesn’t remember loving you just because you put up with him, he doesn’t remember falling for you just because of the life you created together.

All that he knows is that one day, he woke up and he already knew that he was in love with you. Like he’s been doing it for years; like that’s all he’s ever known.

—-------------------------------------------------

“I’ll keep in contact with you regarding the proceedings.” Satoru’s father spoke on the phone, stepping inside his mansion and smiling at his helpers. He asked Satoru if he wanted to have a word with his mother but the thought of having to look at her after what she tried to make his ex-girlfriend do makes him feel dizzy.

“Honey, you’re home.” The woman tried to welcome him with a kiss and open arms but he quickly turned his head, rejecting her. “Come up to my office, we got something to talk about.” The mask of a loving wife was quickly covered with fear and dread.

“What about in our room? So, you can rest.” She nodded her head once, trying to coax him but he was tired of closing his eyes and numbing his heart from feeling the pain and regret of having to lose the love of his life for the comfort that this woman offered him before. “In my office. It’s not a small matter that I could sleep on.”

Leaving the woman baffled, he made his way upstairs, not waiting for her to walk beside him. There was a deafening silence in the big room, save from the footsteps of her husband and the door of his office slamming with such force that it sent a crack in her heart.

She took a deep breath and ran her palm on top of her dress, thinking of all the reasons she could give him just to prove her innocence. She didn’t want any of that to happen. She didn't think that Naomi could be so dumb as to come up with such a heinous and unpleasant plan.

That wasn’t even what she did to Satoru’s father. It was just working to keep them together. And that’s why Satoru came.

With her found determination, she held her head high. Swallowing the terror rising up her throat as she let her thoughts convince her that she did nothing wrong. She never explicitly told Naomi to do that, she’s the one who schemed that. There’s nothing to be afraid of.

She walked up the stairs, caressing the smooth, cold surface of the handrail. Satoru wouldn't allow anything to happen to her. He’s her boy, her pride and joy. He’s the only ally she had when his father was openly pushing her away.

Satoru wouldn’t just ruin what she and his father had because of baseless information from his sick girlfriend. Entering the office, the man sat on his swivel chair. Forehead pressed to the heel of his hand. “What is it, dear?” She smiled sweetly at her husband, appearing unaware of what he had in mind.

Oh, how she wished she was just unaware of it all. She wished that she didn't know what the problem was. She wished it wasn’t what she thought it was and that she was just overthinking because of how– “I want a divorce.” Those four words halted the spinning of her world.

“What?” She raised her brows, checking if it was just her mind playing tricks on her and making her hallucinate. “I want a divorce. And I want it as soon as possible.” His eyes no longer held any emotions towards her; no sadness, bitterness, fading love. None. Not even pity.

“Listen, honey, I didn’t think that Naomi would do–“ She took quick steps towards him, hoping to get him to listen. “So, you knew about it?” He glared at her, “You knew about it and you didn’t tell me anything?” He shook his head, and she could only open her mouth.

“Doesn’t matter. Satoru told me everything.” He stood up from his seat, towering over her as he stared her down. “It’s nothing like that–“ She breathed out, panicking. “I’m not really interested in what you told Naomi. I’m just thankful that my son’s safe.” He stepped away from her.

“What I want to do right now, is to be free from this.” It’s over for her. All the alibis that she was composing, thinking of for this moment are useless. He doesn’t need an explanation, this was simply the final push that he needed to kick her out of his life. And probably out of Satoru’s too.

“Please, don’t do this. We’re already too old to–“ She tried to grab his hand and he only grabbed it with the other to put it away. “You’re right. We’re too old, our son’s too old for me to still pretend that we want to be in this position.” Shaking her head, she stepped in front of him, blocking his way. “Please, listen. I wouldn’t do something that could harm–“

“I know,” His voice was calm. “Of course, to harm him wasn’t your intention, right?” She nodded eagerly, thinking that he was finally listening to her. “But you wanted to decide for him. You got in between him and Y/N, then pushed this woman on him because you thought you knew best for your son.” Tears fell down her eyes, and she lost all hope.

“Now, look at what you did to him.” He gritted his teeth, stepping forward to get her out of his way. “But this is not just about our son anymore. This is also about me, finally choosing to do what I should’ve done a long time ago.” Opening the door, he spoke to her one last time. “All you have to do is sign. The actions that your son will take is all up to him.”

With that, he left her with all of the nightmares of their past coming back. How he only wanted the best for his sons, how he wanted to take full custody of Satoru, how he wanted to get back together with his ex-wife, and how he only married her because she was gone. She was never the first option. She was never the original pick.

She wasn’t chosen, she just happened to be already there.

—————————————

“Hey,” You heard Satoru speak as Toji opened the door for him, nodding. This was kind of similar to how they first saw each other but you’re just glad that this time, it’s a lot calmer. Megumi ran to his father, peeking up at Satoru as he waved at him.

“Yui, your Dada’s here.” Toji left the door open to let Satoru in. Megumi was holding onto his pants, staring back at Satoru. “Yui Dada,” He picked his toy up, staring at a distance before walking closer to him. “Blue!” You laughed from the kitchen, as you packed some snacks for the little girl.

Today, you’re going to the zoo as Yui requested. The animal drawings from her coloring book got her asking you to call her Dada late at night, just to babble about it. “He’s referring to your eyes,” Toji spoke as he went back to the living room to pick up some of the toys.

“Megumi, it’s not good to point at people, what did I tell you?” He warned the toddler as he went back to your room, eyes meeting yours as you made your way to Yui's room. “Ah, yes. Yui and I have the same eyes.” Satoru smiled at the child.

“Dada!” Yui ran towards him, stomping her shoes extra hard to show him how they light up with dancing colors. “Woah! Did Mama buy you those shoes?” He opened his arms, urging the little girl to run to him and she happily did, giggling as she nodded. “It’s awesome!” You smiled at how he tried to flatter his child, encouraging her to do a little jump.

“Where are we going today?” You asked her in a playful tone as you put the lunch bags on the coffee table in front of them. “Zoo!” You watched a Satoru give her a sincere smile, patting her hair gently while complimenting her little butterfly clips. “I’m sure Megumi’s been to the zoo before.” He poked the little boy's tummy.

“Yeah. Animals. Bears and lions.” He stood behind you, peeking at Satoru as he talked. Megumi isn’t usually shy, but he doesn’t easily warm up to people. “We went there on his second birthday.” You almost jumped at Toji’s voice behind you as he picked up his child. “He’s a smart kid.” Satoru answered with a friendly smile.

“You guys should come. If you want..” It surprised you that he was initiating something like that. Although, you know that Toji wouldn’t be so comfortable with that and would most likely reject the offer, it’s still nice to see that Satoru’s trying to make an effort to get along with him.

“That’d be nice but his grandma's waiting for him,” Toji answered, chuckling awkwardly. “Dada work,” Megumi added, earning a hum from his Dad. Making sure that the bag is packed with everything Yui needs, you zipped it up. “You ready to go now?” You tapped the toddler’s cheek, feeling Satoru’s gaze at you.

“Alright, let’s get going.” Standing up with his daughter in his arms, he took the bag from your hands. He put the toddler down to hug her friend goodbye, before walking hand in hand with her outside. You laughed at how she kept squealing with each step she took, looking up to see her Dad’s reaction.

“You guys have fun, alright? I’ll just lock the doors before we go.” Toji pulled you to him, giving you a kiss. “I’ll be back later.” You put your hand around his neck, standing on your tippy toes before pecking his neck. With that, you walked out the door to join your toddler who was patiently waving at you from her car seat.

“Okay, it’s zoo time!” You wiggled your brows at her as you slammed the door shut, making her giggle. You checked your face in the mirror, trying to ignore Satoru’s soft eyes as he watched you. “How are you?” You tried to start a conversation but it was quickly interrupted as you searched around for your daughter’s binky.

“Maybe we left it inside,” Satoru spoke, opening Yui’s bag to help you find it. “Yui, where did you put it?” Remembering how she placed it on the coffee table as she showed off her outfit to her father, you started to unbuckle your seatbelts but Satoru stopped you. “It’s alright, I’ll get it.” He was already stepping out of the car before you could stop him.

Satoru jogged up your steps, knocking a few times before proceeding to open the door. Toji was just about to open it for him when he entered, “It’s Yui’s pacifier. She left it.” He put on the most polite smile he could muster, wanting nothing but to get rid of the awkwardness between them if they were both going to be in your life.

“Oh, alright. I thought it was someone else.” Toji let out a rather awkward chuckle, not knowing how else to react or what else to say. But just as Satoru uttered ‘thanks’, Toji remembered the thing he’s been thinking of for almost a week now. “Uh, Satoru,” He called, making him pause as he held the door open.

Her brows raised, waiting for him to say something. Toji doesn’t know if you’d be happy about this but it’s better than just letting his feelings, thoughts, and opinions all pile up inside of him. This is for you and Yui. Not just for him.

“I’ve been thinking about our situation with Y/N and… I was wondering if you could set aside a bit of your time for a chat?”

PREV | NEXT

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@kurookinnie @why-am-i-here-again-shitheads @galaxyfever @guenievresworld @y2kcy3brz @chocokaylarobin @hopeannalea @shizuuuuuuuu @tojirin @teapartyspilled @ackermendick @shadowarchon @vinkiesz @awkwardaardvarkforever @nvvacanesworld @wolffmaiden @underburningstars @rntrsuna @vampgguk @doulcha @creolequeen11210 @reosnagi

[floppydiskorigami]

🌌Theorizing🤔 that one could time travel ⏳ 💼 within his own lifetime👶🏼, Dr.🩺Sam Beckett🥸 stepped into the quantum🧬leap⚛️ accelerator💨 and VANISHED😳 He awoke to find himself trapped🪤 in the past📺 facing mirror images🪞 that were NOT🚫 his OWN😔 and driven by an UNKNOWN FORCE🤨 to change🔃 history📚 for the better💪😋 His only guide on this journey is Al😏 🤼‍♂️ an observer🔭 from his own time🔮 who appears in the form🗿 of a hologram🩻 ✨ that only Sam can SEE💦 and HEAR🫦 And so Dr. Beckett🥼 finds himself leaping🤾 from LIFE🤸 to LIFE🛸, STRIVING🎯 to put RIGHT👍 what once went WRONG👎 and hoping🙏 each time that his next leap👀 will be the leap home🏠💏🌀

[justpoliteconversations]

Apple Merchant [BOTW!Link x Isekai!Reader] (Part 5)

You spend more money. And Link becomes a local legend.

I was intending on working on a different piece tonight, but the continuous notifications for Apple Merchant keeps reminding me of how much I want to write on it. And then the self-indulgent whispers start seeping into my brain and here we are. Enjoy your ill-gotten gains, Lurkers.

Part 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6

Alternate Extras: Embrace

Masterlist

TW: Choosing not to display warnings. Read at your own discretion.

Disclaimer: Don't own The Legend of Zelda franchise.

---

Lurelin village. A beautiful little coastal town southwest of Hateno with just the right amount of sun and water to make any would-be visitor green with envy. Except no one ever mentioned the humidity (enough to drown someone in their sleep, you swear by it), the lizalfos infestation (something the game got right in concept, but wrong in scale) and the sand. The Goddess forsaken sand. The damned (neverending, grit in your teeth, tears in your eyes, gravel in your lungs) sand that got into everything.

So, no, Lurelin was beautiful and you'd thought once that maybe you'd get a house there (or maybe just plan a vacation). But you'd quickly been rid of the notion the moment you'd stepped foot onto the warm, picturesque beachfront property. Taken a deep, appreciative breath of the fresh, salty air. And then was promptly tackled out of the way of an oncoming spear by Skims (bless that man) as Adino put a pair of arrows into a lizalfos' hissing, gaping maul.

The face full of sand you'd gotten after being pile-driven into the ground just added to the experience. In the worst way possible. It had taken days for your mouth to feel clean of the unpleasant grit of sand grains and your eyes to stop tearing and burning in irritation. If not for Skim's constant care and Adino forcibly holding your hands away from your face when the pain became too much, you could have walked away with far worse than bad memories and a new distaste for sand.

That was the day you decided Lurelin would not be a place you'd be spending any significant amount of time in. No matter how friendly the locals or tasty the food or beautiful the ocean views. It just wasn't worth it. Not to you, at least. Maybe in another lifetime, it would have been a dream to strive towards. But not here. Not now.

You still had moments of unease when you think of what could have happened had Skim's not been so close (as he's always been, and as you'll hopefully always have him). And those moments were more potent when you were in the small village. Keeping you ever on edge and always within sight of your trusted guards.

So, one might ask why you'd chosen to go to that very village when you could go anywhere in southern Hyrule. In fact, (in those whispering moments of weakness) you'd ask yourself that very same question. Especially as you trudged miserably through the thick, muggy afternoon heat with Adino at your back and Skims on point (who knows where Red went. but it wasn't your business and so you dismissed the thought entirely).

The answer? Shock arrows. An unholy amount of shock arrows. Enough to break the purse of the average merchant three times over. And possibly put their children in debt too. And possibly their horse.

It's a good thing you weren't a common merchant.

"Good afternoon, Ms. Mubs." You called in friendly greeting as you set foot onto the dock, casting away your (unease) irritation and slipping into your business persona effortlessly. "Fair weather on the seas I hope?"

Pleasantries were exchanged, the latest information traded (Adino was feigning irritation as he eavesdropped, but you could see the way his eyes and ears flickered with amusement and surprise at the appropriate times. Skims was window shopping, eyeing some of the more exotic fish with open curiosity) and you ended up selling several thousand rupees worth of product to the woman. Fresh produce mostly, but also quite a few ores. Such things were always in high demand in Lurelin. Ores especially, as most coastal deposits were notoriously difficult to mine with the lizalfos infestation so prominent.

More workers died mining along the beach than to storms out at sea. And that's a very unsettling thought, given the ratio of miners to sailors in a seafaring village (of all places). Crunch the numbers, and becoming a miner in Lurelin was equivalent to a death sentence. And the general population knew that.

(It explained why crime rates were so low in Lurelin, when mining was the manual labor criminals were made to do.)

Passing off the last of Mubs' purchase to her, you waited patiently for the woman to finish storing away her newly acquired goods before speaking. "I have a large order request." You said, letting a small, costumer service smile slip onto your lips. And maybe that kind of smile was something that transcended worlds, or maybe Mubs just knew you, but she immediately looked wary (by the way she narrowed her eyes, it was probably the former. maybe).

She gestured for you to continue, and you did with cool (pained) confidence. "I need as many shock arrows as you can afford to part with." She started to gesture towards her arrow display, but you shook your head and she paused. "I need below deck inventory. Everything you've got."

Her brows shot to her hairline, incredulous as she cautioned. "Quite the order. Surely not even The Apple Merchant would part with so much rupee." You kept your smile (even and blank and you were quietly screaming inside), and she sighed. "'Course you would." She sighed again, harder, wiping the sweat from her brow before gesturing for you to follow. "Come on then. Lets see if we can't break yer infamous smile a bit, ya?"

You kept that smile. All through the walk across the rickety old docks, the bustling harbor and straight down into the musty bowels of a weathered looking ship. One guarded by no less than five full grown men. All through the talks with the big boss you kept your lips steadily pleasant and upturned. Right on through the exchange of rupees (even Mubs looked ill at the quoted amount, casting you a questioning, pitying glance as she clicked her teeth), and all the way back to shore.

Right up until the moment you collapsed into your (extra, super soft, not for you Adino you prickly jerk) inn bed, rolled over so your back was to Adino and Skims (who looked expectant and amused and far too smug for your liking) and stared at the wall with that same smiling, blank expression.

And then, slowly. You put your face into the sinfully soft pillow. And screamed.

"Damnit Link! Why do you cost me so much money when you're not even here?"

Skims laughed with his entire belly at your outburst, and Adino smirked, hiding his face to the side as a few rouge chuckles escaped him.

A wordless, muffled bellow was all they got back in exchange.

---

Link stared at the truly mind-boggling number of shock arrows that'd appeared in his inventory. 6800, to be exact. Which to some may not seem like an especially outrageous number, but to Link (who usually found items in the single digits) it was a truly unfathomable number to comprehend, let alone contend with. But that didn't mean he wasn't going to take full advantage of his (thoughtful, kind, wond-) generous AM's meticulous foresight to destroy the local monster population. With feeling (so much intense, pent up feeling).

He'd take every ounce of his frustration (his blood boiling, fist clenching, teeth grinding anger) and pour it all into destroying his enemies. His worry at AM's absence from his side. His displeasure at Ms. Blue's condescending and secretive (and kind too, for all she was withholding information from him. information he'd bleed for) smiles.

And especially his rage at those Goddess forsaken, Ganon worshipping, traitorous Yiga who ruined his chance to thank AM properly for their presence in his life (because he doesn't know where he'd be if not for them. and honestly, he never wants to find out).

He'd take all those emotions and channel it into something productive. Something beneficially destructive.

So, destroy the monster population he did. And how generous of the Goddesses, to have brought him to a land of eternal rain to begin his crash course in violence-fueled stress relief. With shock arrows.

It is said amongst the general Zora population (the more outspoken poetic ones at least) that when the Returned Hero of Hyrule made his ascendance through the Domain, night became day and the land was cleansed of all things foul that would stand before him. A miracle in the flesh. He who brings the light and sun to the land of rain.

And really, they weren't wrong. For the most part.

But for those who saw this supposed miracle for themselves. They all had but one thought.

'Thank the Goddesses it's not me he's pissed at.'

---

Back to the shadows to rest.

[silvergreenseraphim]

Angeal and Sephiroth (And Genesis?)—Dissidia Opera Omnia—Part One

Alright, so this chapter was a lot, and it opened with Weiss quoting “Loveless” for a reason, it seems.

“When the war of the beasts brings about the world’s end, the goddess descends from the sky! Wings of light and dark spread afar, she guides us to bliss…her gift everlasting!”

Weiss becomes our voice for Genesis, or his “brother,” in this chapter. When Seymour questions his quote, Weiss replies,

“It was a passage from a story our brother loved. He used to quote it for his best friend. That friend was Sephiroth, the hero and friend of the other “brother,” Angeal as well.”

This part was hard to translate into English, but Weiss essentially explains that Genesis used to quote Loveless for his close friend, Sephiroth, the hero, and Angeal was right there with them as the third friend in the trio.

Seymour is shocked and gasps, “Sephiroth and Angeal were best friends??”

Weiss replies, “It’s hard to believe of the now-evil “hero” that never reveals his heart. And yet, the exemplary First Class soldier that is a role model for everyone was his friend.”

I am on the fence about the translation of this part and may change it once my friend gets back to me, but for now, it seems like Weiss is pondering the friendship of Sephiroth and Angeal and how differently they turned out, because Seymour does make a comment like, “I suppose if you have dreams and honor, you can’t go wrong.”

But there is potentially more here that Weiss is saying about his own relationship to Sephiroth and Angeal—perhaps suggesting he is not their friend and doesn’t quite understand their past relationship himself. I will have to keep researching.

We cut to Sephiroth again, who is confused about his memory returning. He says he didn’t expect any memories to return from the Lifestream, but shakes his head and denial. He claims these memories Angeal brought back are unnecessary and that he most remove Angeal from the picture immediately. His motives are set.

Meanwhile, Zack and Angeal are talking about how Sephiroth changed. I translated this on Altocat’s blog and here is what they say:

Zack says,

“Angeal, I know you’re surprised…I can’t believe that Sephiroth changed like that…

Angeal replies,

“So, you were taken aback as well…”

Zack says,

“It was out of nowhere. We went to investigate Cloud and Tifa’s village…and I guess he discovered his origins. He killed everyone and burned down the village. He had always been the hero I strived to be…”

Zack and Angeal are both very crestfallen here, lamenting this knowledge. Angeal pulls himself together and says,

“I know…I’m disappointed too. Everything changed while I was gone, I guess.

Angeal further laments that he wasn’t there, and Zack reassures him that even though Angeal disappeared at the time and pushed everyone away, Zack would have stayed by his side and helped. Zack would have left Shinra, and he says he is sure Sephiroth felt the same way.

Angeal thanks his student but says that it was his choice and lonely path at the time—he had to carry the responsibility as a First Class soldier. Zack chastises him saying he shouldn’t think that way—after all, Zack is a First Class as well, and has enough experience. He could have helped Angeal. Angeal begins to reply, saying, “Zack…” but then they are interrupted by the others.

They say it’s time to make a decision about Sephiroth, and Cloud explains that the silver boi is planning to turn the world into an empty vessel that he may sail the cosmos with in order to find another world. An Advent Children reference, of course.

Rufus mentions that this goal is very similar to the desire of Jenova. He has to then explain what Jenova is to the other characters, as well as the Reunion theory.

This makes a lightbulb go off in Angeal’s head and he gasps, “So basically…Sephiroth is Jenova?”

He puts it together that Reunion implies that Jenova’s cells must be drawn back to their source, and since that source is currently Sephiroth, they must be the same.

However, the others simply say that Sephiroth/Jenova must be eliminated, and agree to hunt him down. Everyone nods and moves forward except Angeal, who lingers with hesitation.

In the next part, they are in the process of tracking Sephiroth, but the group notices Angeal’s troubled demeanor. They ask him if he’s okay and Kadaj says that he heard about Sephiroth being Angeal’s good friend. He says that it must be disheartening to see Sephiroth in his current state, since nothing is like it used to be.

Angeal notes Kadaj’s own tone of disappointment and Kadaj explains how Sephiroth used him as a puppet to find Jenova’s remains, which horrifies Kadaj because if Sephiroth and Jenova are the same, then his own “mother” used and betrayed him in such a way.

Angeal encourages Kadaj and gives him one of his classic pep talks, appealing to his usual “dreams and honor” code. Tifa notes that Zack often spoke the same way, prompting Angeal to recall teaching Zack all those things.

In response to Kadaj, he then says he was indeed surprised by hearing what Sephiroth did, but he says that,

“Sephiroth had his honor once too…and he has a tendency to hold onto things, so even if I am surprised, I can’t abandon him…”

The others say that they aren’t sure if Angeal’s words can reach Sephiroth, who was cruel enough to destroy Tifa and Cloud’s village. Tifa agrees as she recalls how she begged Sephiroth to explain why he did what he did, but she does say to Angeal that she believes he could have a better chance.

She kindly compliments him on how his “dreams and honor” philosophy had helped her as well. :,)

She encourages Angeal, saying that his words will surely be a beacon and that he should try to speak with Sephiroth again. Angeal hangs his head sorrowfully and agrees, saying,

“I don’t want to give up on him….so I’ll try as hard as I can…”

—

This is a good place to stop because the next chapters are where everything gets chaotic, but for now, we have some build-up for what Angeal wants to do, and for Weiss being a stand-in for Genesis later.

—

Some little notes:

The Zack and Angeal scenes were very sweet, as Zack wants to convince his old mentor to stop shouldering everything alone. Angeal’s absolute refusal to give up on Seph tugs at the heartstrings too, and I find it so sweet that Tifa actually encouraged him.

The “Sephiroth is Jenova” point is fascinating, but I believe we will soon find that Seph’s own will is blended into Jenova’s, as they are aligned, and this might be what reveals to Angeal that there may not be much hope for his old friend. :(

I am struggling with the Weiss and Seymour discussion, and this has been one of the parts that has slowed me down, because the context is hard to decipher, but I suspect that Weiss is comparing Sephiroth and Angeal to the figures in Loveless, which also becomes relevant later. I will update as soon as I can get an explanation from my Japanese friend. I am not skilled enough to decipher everything yet on my own, you see. 😅

But enjoy this for now, and I will be back with more soon! <3

[cerisefait]

The Beach

Inspired by The Neighbourhood's song.

[1,2k words]

a/n: I've been feeling sad lately and felt like I needed a hug so here we are. If you've been feeling the same, I hope you can find solace in my words ♡ (I didn't include what the reader was failing at in order for you to relate to it better, I hope you enjoy!)

summary: the reader feels like no matter how much she works to achieve her dream, it's never enough: she feels like a failure. so, she seeks comfort in Sanji's arms. use of nicknames and kisses.

Everything was going great. You thought you were at the top of your game, working hard to get what you wanted but… you failed. Instead of seeing the rise in your performance, you witnessed it hitting rock bottom.

Ever since you started this journey, you strived to become better. It was a rocky road with ups and downs but lately all you have ever been getting were failed results.

You knew you had the potential. Everyone on your crew knew it. Then why were you failing miserably? Just as you see that it gets better, the next it gets worse. You've been usually putting on a mask not to worry anyone but today, it hit you.

You don't remember feeling this helpless in a long time.

Knowing you could succeed but not being able to make it happen was making you question yourself and your worth. Other people seem to have it their way when they have half of your potential. So why can't you do it? You were trying day and night, giving it your best but it was never enough.

You were always confident about yourself when it came to it but now, you felt really powerless. You were the type to make everyone else around you feel safe and good about themselves but when it came to you, you felt like you had no one to rely on by your side.

You knew you had close friends who would listen to you and try to understand but you didn't help but feel like a burden whenever you shared your true feelings with someone. You were the friend who always helped people around her but never got the help she desperately needed.

***

Luffy, Nami, Zoro and Usopp were out, there was a festival in town; leaving you and Sanji as the only crew members on the ship. You were in your chambers when they left and Sanji was in the kitchen, as usual.

On his way out, Luffy told Sanji to cook a feast-like meal, not because there was a reason to celebrate; he just loved to have you all in a good mood and the way to Luffy's heart went through his stomach as all of you knew.

The rest of the crew was gone for almost two hours, making it easier for you to just sit with yourself and contemplate all that was happening around you. Why couldn't you succeed like you wanted just once? Was there something wrong with you?

Hours of sitting with the thoughts you usually avoid thinking and occasionally crying, you felt exhausted; your eyes were bloodshot and puffy from all the tears, the tip of your nose was slightly red due to all the tissues you've used.

You left your chambers in hopes of finding something to eat without letting anyone see you this way: You always liked to act tough when it came to your emotions. Plus if Sanji were to see you in this state, he would be so worried…

You thought he'd be done preparing the dinner by now but as soon as you entered the kitchen, you saw him: Washing a pan in the sink with the water running down the sink, a towel hanging on his right shoulder.

He seemed calm, humming a melody to keep himself entertained as he was rubbing the pan with a sponge while the dishwashing soap foams danced around on top of the pan, accompanying his brisk movements.

When he saw you, his calm demeanor changed fast. In a blink of an eye, his eyebrows became knitted and slightly tilted upwards, trying to understand what has happened to you.

Taking a quick look at his hands, he left the pan in the sink, dried his hands immediately using the towel on his shoulder before tossing it on top of the nearest countertop.

Seeing him like this made you feel guilty and you wrapped your arms around yourself, gently caressing the back of your left arm.

‘(Y/n), are you okay? What's wrong, are you hurt?’ He asked in a soft tone, looking at your body and face to see any type of scar as he came closer to you.

‘I'm fine Sanji.’

‘Don't lie to me. Your eyes��� Have you been crying?’

‘I told you I'm fine!’ You exclaimed, tears welling up in your eyes.

‘Don’t shut me out like that princess, tell me what’s wrong.’ He whispered as he gently brushed a strand of hair behind your ear and caressed your right cheek which was stained with salty tears.

Shutting your eyes close, you leaned into his touch unconsciously; seeking the warmth it brought you. Being close to him always made you feel secure.

A few seconds later, you felt a wave of cold air on your cheek where Sanji’s hand was. It made you wince; struggling to open your eyes, you didn’t want to talk. Not yet.

Just then you heard him say,

‘Come here.’ He opened his arms on either side, welcoming you into a warm embrace.

Without wasting a second, you wrapped your arms around his neck, burying your head into the blonde's shoulder. You felt so safe as he gently ran his fingers through your hair, letting your tears fall down your cheek and onto his blouse. When you pulled him closer he whispered

‘Shh it’s okay baby, I’m here.’

‘Am I not enough?’ you sobbed,

‘No matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to succeed. I’m a failure…’’

He wrapped his arms around your waist to take a look at your pretty face. When you locked eyes, his heart shattered at the sight.

He quickly wiped away the tears and caressed your cheek once again, looking deeply into your eyes with a reassuring smile.

‘No, you’re not a failure. It’s okay to feel defeated sometimes but failure only happens when you give up.

‘But I feel so tired… It feels like there’s no point trying.’

He shakes his hand, pulls your head to his shoulder and holds you there tightly pressed against him.

‘Maybe you have to try another path to succeed… Or you just need someone to tell you everything is going to be alright ‘cuz it will be sweetheart, trust me.’ And he continued

‘You are so strong and intelligent. If there’s anyone who could do it, it’s you. So why waste your time thinking nonsense… I know you and your capabilites, so if you don’t believe in yourself then believe me when I say you will do it.’

‘What did I do to deserve you?’ You looked up at him with your glowy eyes and stained cheeks.

‘I was just asking myself the same thing…’ He confessed before placing a gentle, quick kiss on your lips before adding

‘Not everything in life is supposed to go perfectly, we all have our ups and downs. This moment isn’t going to last forever, just like none of the previous ones did. I don’t want to hear you call yourself a failure again. Understood?'

You nodded, sniffing your nose while looking up at him.

‘Good girl.’ He mumbled before connecting his lips to yours once again. This time it was more heated, passionate. After a few seconds you separated for air; your foreheads pressed against one another and your eyes were closed.

There was a sweet silence before he broke it off with an ‘I love you, (Y/n).’

‘I love you too Sanji, thank you for all of this.’

‘No need to mention, princess. Now let’s make you a hearty comforting hot soup…’

[jimkinnz]

homunculus facts¡

theorising that one could time travel within his own lifetime' homunculus sam beckett stepped into the quantum leap accelerator and vanished•••

he woke to find himself trapped in the past' facing mirror images that were not his own

and driven by an unknown force to change history for the better•

his only guide on this journey is al' an alchemist from his own time' who appears in the form of a hologram that only sam can see and hear•

and so beckett finds himself leaping from life to life' striving to put right what once went wrong

and hoping each time that his next leap••• will be the leap home•••

[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: Strange Stones

Edward Lee: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the strange stones Mary SanGiovanni: me and ed wrote a cosmic horror SanGiovanni: it's about this professor who hates HP Lovecraft Lovecraft: SanGiovanni: like REALLY hates him Lovecraft:

Lee: ok bro so this professor is at this horror convention to talk about how much HP Lovecraft sucks Lovecraft: hey! Lee: oh it's not me bro, i think you're cool, it's this professor, he's the one saying it Lee: in the story, bro Lovecraft: Lovecraft: oh ok then

Lee: like, he's going on about how Lovecraft is a shitty writer who sucks Lovecraft: hey, come on! Lee: i'm not saying it, bro SanGiovanni: yeah howard don't commit the fundamental attribution error Lee: yeah bro i don't know what this but don't do it bro

SanGiovanni: so the professor is all "HP Lovecraft sucks ass, he can't write" Lee: oh and he's racist, bro, don't forget that SanGiovanni: oh that's right, AND he's racist SanGiovanni: thanks ed Lee: no prob bro

SanGiovanni: so Lovecraft was racist August Derleth: only as racist as the average man of his time!! SanGiovanni: and a shitty writer Derleth: only as shitty as the average writer of his time!! Lovecraft:

SanGiovanni: and the prof is all "we should stop talking about Lovecraft, who sucks, and start talking about better authors like Poe or Shelley" Lovecraft: come on!! Mary Shelley: haha i like this guy, he sounds like he's got the right idea Poe: yeah he's not entirely wrong

Lee: but check this bro Lee: this prof loves horror conventions cuz he's always getting laid Lee: these cons are just FULL of hotties looking to score Lee: you know how horror chicks are Lee: FREAK-EE SanGiovanni: and their tits--! Lee: oh man, bro, the tits are fuckin' bangin

Lee: bro so the girls at this convention have got some huge boobs SanGiovanni: some real serious honkers Lee: a real set of badonkers SanGiovanni: packin some dobonhonkeros. massive dohoonkabhankoloos Lee: big ol' tonhongerekoogers!

SanGiovanni: so this goth witch gets mad at the professor for dissing Lovecraft and she sends him to another dimension where Lovecraft is real! Lee: and bro don't forget, the witch has enormous jugs SanGiovanni: oh yeah just some ridonculous knockers

SanGiovanni: now the professor is in a Lovecraft world and he's about to find out that being in a Lovecraft world isn't all its cracked up to be Lee: oh yeah bro and he's gotta collect the 5 power stones to advance to the next level bro SanGiovanni: you mean the chaos emeralds?

SanGiovanni: now he's traveling from Lovecraft story to Lovecraft story, striving to put right what once went wrong and hoping each time that the next leap will be the leap home Lee: you know that thing about hotties trawling for dick at horror cons? thats totally true bro

Lee: yeah bro you know what i'm saying Lee: we're gonna get you laid, bro! Lovecraft: at a convention? Lee: that's what they're for bro! ask sonia! she invented the whole idea, bro! Sonia Greene: he's right

[paulgadzikowski]

The Hero of Three Faces is fanfiction crossovers, but it’s comic strips with stick figures, but they’re triangles. Click here for cartoon homepage. Or see this blog’s FAQ, or my archive tumblog’s FAQ. Cartoons may contain unmarked spoilers. Cartoons posted to Tumblr 11:00 (Central US time) daily are the previous day’s new update and the posts are pinned to the top of this blog. Cartoons linked from Tumblr 22:00 daily are usually from the archive and the posts are pinned only during annual summer hiatus of new updates; but archive cartoon postings currently are temporarily suspended, and the 11:00 new cartoon post, if any, is reblogged at 22:00.

Only some of these link posts have dialog transcripts (and instead of full image descriptions like they once had) because in early 2025 I was obliged to streamline the housekeeping procedures for producing daily comic strips, in aid of avoiding burnout on doing daily cartoons at all. Apologies for the conflict in accomodation needs. Dialog transcript: A This is like when Daniels took me to his time during the temporal cold war. This is Earth, Starfleet headquarters, a hundred years after your time. But it's wrong and it's not the Xindi this time, it's the Master. B We must go back, striving to put right what once went wrong I wasn't going to put it that way but yeah

Thanks for reading.

[freezerbnuuy]

Act 6:1- Triage (Page 4)

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Róisín

Finchwick's noticeboard is usually full of descriptions, bounties, and sketches of potential witches around Henford, offering rewards to those who manage to capture them. I don't check them too often as to not draw too much attention, but sometimes I keep an eye and make sure the witch who's been secretly healing people's wounds behind a church doesn't appear on there…or any of the other witches I know.

Alongside advertisements for produce, tobacco and the Willow Creek coffeehouse, I notice a rather frantic-looking note:

[scrawled letter on the Finchwick noticeboard]

HELP WANTED - to treat minor injuries of patients With the growing conflict, many people are pouring through the door day by day. With no apprentices of surgery I currently only have time to properly tend to those with more serious injuries. I ask anyone with medical or general healing knowledge to come forward. Role paid. Bed and board provided if necessary. - Lydia Annorin [there is a watermark of a gryphon on the bottom of the page.]

I remember seeing the gryphon watermark on the papers on the desk when I visited Owen in his office, so this must be legitimate - but how desperate could a renowned surgeon be to reach out like this? 

Even with my limitations, is there a chance I could help her? The way some people stood by Owen the way they did, and the way they still went to Katlego, could attitudes towards witches really be changing for the better? Is it just wishful thinking on my part?

If Owen and Lydia can save the lives of people who would otherwise kill them given half the chance...is it right for me to do the same?

The mansion seems a safer place to put my gifts to use.

I think about my moon sight 'vision' some more. 

I wonder to myself if it may be a warning of some kind - of what could happen if I don't change something - but what? I feel I have done nothing wrong. All I have done is help others. Perhaps Lunvin feels I have not done enough? Deities aren't known for being easy to please, are they? Perhaps if I do this, if I strive to keep doing good by other people, I may avert whatever it is She is warning me about.

The maid is cleaning outside the door. All seems calm until I feel a blast of cold air and a powerful swooshing noise.

"You there! Up here!"

That voice! It's - 

The gryphon! It's Owen's enormous familiar sitting on top of the roof! I freeze, and not because of the cold - she's terrifying! She spreads her wings wide.

 "I recognise you from Owen's trial. You stood up for him, didn't you? What can I do for you?"

Her deepvoice sounds softer than it did back at the trial. She almost sounds friendly. The telepathy gives me a strange sensation in my head. For safety's sake, at least I can tell her in confidence why I'm here.

"Lydia is looking for people with healing knowledge. I have healing magic. I wanted to offer my help."

She gracefully flies down, landing less gracefully in the snow and splattering me with cold splodges of the stuff. Her piercing blue eyes are like precious sapphires. I'm somewhere between joyously mesmerised and soiling my undergarments. I can't stop thinking about the way she so easily killed those witchfinders, their bones cracking under her powerful talons. Even having seen her already, I still can't believe she truly still exists even when she's standing right in front of me.

"You needn't be afraid. What is your name?"

I gulp. "Róisín."

"Róisín? Ah, yes, he's mentioned you once or twice - but Owen is not here. He left to become a teacher in Glimmerbrook. I am not so impulsive, and so I remain here to guard the mansion for the time being. It's good you came; both Lydia and Josiah are struggling. They both work immensely hard. I am Valravn - it is a pleasure. I would shake your hand, but alas, I do not have any hands to shake with." She lets out a peculiar broken-up screech.

"You see, Valravn, there's one problem, I explain. I can heal most flesh wounds with my magic, but my magic comes from the moon. If it's cloudy outdoors, then I can't use it. I can't use it during the day, either."

"Sometimes you can still see the moon on clear mornings. What about then?"

"Well, yes, but it still means I'm not reliable all of the time. The trouble is, I'm not really safe healing people outside. I'd be safer here."

"Of course you would. I'm here. You did your part to try and protect Owen, which was incredibly brave of you to do in the face of Eduardo Volpe. I would gladly protect you from harm."

I didn't expect a huge gryphon to be so kind.Without thinking, I throw my arms around her in gratitude. I flinch, but Valravn does nothing. She closes an eye and makes a soft sound to herself.

"Thank you, Valravn - from the bottom of my heart."

"No, thank you, Róisín. Your bravery is more than appreciated - not just by me, but by Owen as well. Now, go and see Lydia - if you're quick, you'll get to eat some of her delicious food."

[hell-much]

The cutting room floor of my Once In A Lifetime sequel is filling at a steady pace, so I thought I'd treat you to a draft of a scene that I'll (most probably) won't be able to squeeze in.

Please accept this as your belated Valentine's treat. 💕 (Can be read as a smutty standalone too, no real context of the original story needed.)

...

With the dial tone in her ear, Sansa stares down at numbers that long have stopped making sense.

She’s almost sure there’s a mistake somewhere in there. At least she hopes there is. There has to be a mistake. If this right there, looking back at her is their profit—

“Hello?”

Sansa breathes at the sound of Margaery’s voice and for a second all numbers, balance sheets and taxes are forgotten. “Hey.”

“Hey to you.” Something rustles in her background. “Is everything okay?”

No, Sansa thinks with her eyes skimming the paper once more. Not particularly.

“Of course,” she says. “Why do you ask?”

“Because it’s bright day outside and you’re calling me.”

“Jon went to Sam together with Robb. They’re helping with the forestry. Alis is at friend’s house.”

“And what are you up to?”

“I’m stuck in the office, bookkeeping.”

Margaery hums like that explains everything. “The way you sound I’d guess, you’re looking at a lot of red?”

“Grey,” Sansa says weakly. “I like to do a first calculation with a pencil. In case I make a mistake.”

“You make mistakes?”

Sansa stares down at the numbers. No, she doesn’t make mistakes. “I don’t know,” she says striving for more levity than she feels and closes the daybook. “My diligence has been lacking lately. What are you doing?”

“I’m sitting the bad weather out on my couch.”

Casting a look out of a window blind with rain Sansa smiles weakly. “You might be stuck on that couch until May.”

Margaery groans. “Don’t say that.”

“We might have snow soon.”

“Is that supposed to cheer me up?”

Sansa leans back in the office chair, playing with the phone cord. “You were pretty excited when you mistook that heavy rime for snow the other week.”

“You’re never going to let me live that one down, are you?”

“Probably not,” she gives back, unable not to smile. “You were too adorable.”

“It’s frozen water either way,” Margaery scoffs back. “Technically I wasn’t wrong.”

“Did you get those winter tires yet?”

“I have an appointment at the garage on Thursday.”

“Good. They’ve forecasted frost for next week.”

“Do you have to sound so joyful when you say that?”

Sansa smiles. “I’m looking forward to winter.”

“You do?”

She really does. This year more than ever before. “It’s the only quiet time we get around here. No gardenwork. No fields that need ploughing, threshing, harvesting.” She pauses, and her hand probes for her cigarettes in her dress pocket but comes up empty. “I’ll have a lot more time for you.”

“If you can get to me with the metre high snow.”

“We have snow chains.”

“That’s quite the effort for a little tryst,” Margaery quips. “I’ll need to step up to make it worth your while.”

Sansa laughs, flattening the crinkled part of her dress. “Any ideas how you’ll do that?”

She hears Margaery’s soft inhale. “I could think of a few things.”

Warmth coils in Sansa’s stomach, easing some of the constant churning. “Like what?”

“What you said the other night,” Margaery says her voice just a little more husky. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about that.”

“I said a lot the other night.”

“That part about what the sex would be like if…”

She trails off and Sansa knows that has nothing to do with being too shy to say it. She’s daring her to say it. Sansa holds her breath for a second before she can get it past her lips, “If you had a cock?”

That bloody crooked smirk is evident in Margaery’s tone. “That. Yes.”

Sansa smooths fingertips down the button border of her dress. “You were right though. We manage pretty good without.”

“No, I know.” She pauses. “There are possibilities though. If you’d be interested in giving that it try.”

“How?”

“There’s appendages you can put on yourself.”

The warmth spreading through her abdomen creeps up her neck. “Have you ever…?”

“No. But I have been told it’s fun.”

Sansa swallows. “I can imagine.”

A breathy laugh sounds from Margaery, vibrates through Sansa as if she was right there next to her, her warm breath right at her ear. “And just what are you imagining?”

“Fucking you like that.”

“Such a top.”

“I haven’t heard you complaining,” Sansa quips back.

“How would you fuck me?”

Sansa considers for a moment, thinks what it would be like to press her in the mattress like that. Or to have Margaery on top of her. Then another image appears in her mind and she hears herself saying, “From behind.”

“On the bed? Me on all fours?”

“No,” Sansa gives back, soaking up the anticipation for a long few seconds. “I’d bend you over the back of the couch.”

Margaery groans quietly. “Fuck, that’s sexy.”

“Yeah.”

“I bet you would fuck me hard, wouldn’t you?” Margaery’s voice sounds a little ragged, almost like when they— “Grip my hips and pound into me?”

Searing hot realisation rushes through Sansa. “Are you…” She can’t get the words out to overwhelmed with the idea. “Gods, you are, aren’t you?”

“Touching myself. Yes.”

For a moment Sansa just sits there, her core clenching almost unpleasantly with arousal. “Do you,” she licks dry lips, “do you do that often?”

“You have been pretty busy lately.”

She’s still touching herself. Sansa can tell just by the sound of her voice. “How often?”

“After I wake up. Before I go to sleep.”

“After we talk?”

She gives a quiet hum, like she does when Sansa finds that spot she really likes. “Sometimes in between, too.”

Sansa can’t help a smile. “That sounds slightly excessive.”

“I have a lot of free time on my hands these days. And you are on my mind a lot,” Margaery returns, the words coming out taut. “Don’t you ever?”

“No,” Sansa says quietly. “I wouldn’t even know…”

There are too many ways to end that sentence. When. Where. Only the how is somewhat clear in her mind.

“Give it a try tonight,” Margaery suggests and her voice turns yet a little tighter. “When you’re in the shower … Close your eyes and imagine I’m touching you. Imagine all the things you want us to do.”

“What do you imagine?”

“I imagine…” For a moment only heavy breathing sounds in her ear. “You on top of me. Sitting on my face. Your face buried between my legs.”

Sansa fingers trail over the skin of her cleavage and for just a second she dares to close her eyes, imagining it’s Margaery’s touch. With her soft breaths in her ear it almost works too. “That sounds nice.”

“It does, doesn’t it? We could make it a little competition. See who gets there faster.”

“And what does the winner get?”

“What would you want?”

“I’d like to watch you. Touching yourself.”

A first soft moan sounds through the line. “Gods, Sansa.”

She dares to slip beneath her dress, just far enough to reach the seam of her bra. “What are you, right now, tell me what you’re doing?”

“I’m on my couch. One leg up on the backrest. Rubbing my clit.”

“Are you dressed?”

“I’m in my bathrobe.”

Closing her eyes, Sansa can see her there, a toned leg up on the backrest. Painted toes curling. The edges of the bathrobe offering a generous glimpse at her cleavage. All the way down to her stomach. “Open it,” she presses out.

Margaery chuckles throatily. “You like to my tits, don’t you?”

The mild obscenity of her words rushes through Sansa. “I do.”

“My nipples are hard for you, darling.”

Sansa’s breath hitches when her fingers breech the fabric of her bra. She feels the flesh of her areola pebble beneath her touch, and imagines she’s touching Margaery.

“Would you like me to wait for you on that on Friday? Spread out here, getting ready for you?”

“Yes. Gods. Yes.”

“Tell me what you’d do to me,” Margaery pleads, like she has her so very close to the edge.

“Fuck you,” Sansa says rolling her nipple between her fingers. “Hard. Until you beg me to stop.”

She might bend her over the back of that couch after all. Appendage or not. Palm her ass, and keep her in place and fuck her until her legs will give out.

“As if I’d ever want you to stop,” Margaery laughs.

“I know. I never want to stop either.”

“Tell me, what you like about fucking me.”

“I love it. All of it. … Those, sounds you make. When you moan my name. “

“Sansa…”

“Yes,” she says with a satisfied breath of her own. “Just like that.”

She shifts in the chair and feels the slickness between her legs. For a second she considers following Margaery’s example, but doesn’t quite dare. Not here.

There’s only Margaery’s heavy breathing for a while before she says, “What else?”

“How you feel,” Sansa says, squeezing her eyes close a little firmer. “Soft. And then so strong wrapping around me. I love how you smell. How you taste.”

“I’m so close, darling.”

A lazy smile spreads over Sansa’s lips. “Go slow. Like I do.”

“I can’t. I’m—"

“Slow.”

Margaery breaths rings brittle, laced with frustration. “You’re a cruel woman.”

“And you’re needy.”

“As if you aren’t dripping wet.”

“I am every time we talk.”

Fresh undiluted lust laces Margaery’s voice, “You are?”

“Before I even pick up the phone,” Sansa says, a single finger teasing her breast. “Just in anticipation of hearing your voice.” She makes a pregnant pause, rejoicing the soft pants that bear proof that Margaery has given up any endeavour to hold back. “I get wet every time I think of you.” She hears her breath hitch. “And I think of you all day long.”

Margaery’s soft, throaty moan sends satisfaction through Sansa as if she’d just come herself.

For a small eternity afterwards it’s just soft contented breathing sounds, followed by soft rustling and Margaery’s husky, “You’re something else, you know that?”

Sansa chuckles as she slowly bats her eyes open. The reality of the stuffy, in dire need of a clean-up home office, isn’t as harsh as she deemed it would be. Not with arousal still tingling through her, with Margaery’s voice and breaths still softly in her ear. “I think that one’s on you.”

“I can’t wait to see you Friday.”

“Neither can I.” She traces the edges of an almost forgotten daybook. The deadline is only next week. And she made good progress today. And Jon will still be gone for a while. She’d really be a fool to let this chance pass her by. For something as dull as taxes nonetheless. “What would you say—"

A car door sounds outside and sends Sansa lurching forward in the office chair. Craning her head, sure enough she finds Jon’s truck parked out in the driveway. She didn’t even hear him in the rain.  That could have gone really wrong, really fast. Her face burns when he spots her through the window and waves. The idea of how he would have found her here just a minute ago, is mortifying.

Margaery reads her abrupt halting correctly. “You need to go?

“I’m afraid so,” Sansa says, pressing a hand to her still warm cheek.

The door to the office opens and Jon sticks his head in time with Margaery’s sighed, “Well, I should really get myself dressed.”

Sansa signals Jon to wait, as she tells Margaery, a bit stiffer than usual. “I really cannot thank you enough for calling.”

“The pleasure was all mine, love.”

The softly mewled words, in contrast to her husband right there looking at her, is more of a turn on than it should be.

Sansa hesitates a moment, then she says, “I swear I didn’t even notice dropping it.” She covers the mouthpiece, but not enough so Margaery won’t hear her the words directed at Jon. “I lost my wallet at the store. Someone found it.”

Margaery laughs at the insolence. “You are something else.”

Sansa bites the insides of her cheeks not to smile. “Would it be alright if I came to pick it up this afternoon? Say in half an hour?”

“Then I suppose I shouldn’t get dressed?"

Getting to her feet, Sansa smooths out her dress, giving Jon a smile as she tells Margaery, “Yes, I’d prefer that.”

[gettheorion]

“Theorising that one could time travel within his own lifetime, Doctor Sam Beckett stepped into the Quantum Leap accelerator and vanished... He woke to find himself trapped in the past, facing mirror images that were not his own, and driven by an unknown force to change history for the better. His only guide on this journey is Al, an observer from his own time, who appears in the form of a hologram that only Sam can see and hear. And so Doctor Beckett finds himself leaping from life to life, striving to put right what once went wrong, and hoping each time that his next leap will be the leap home…”

“Oh boy…”

[astvrix-blog]

Theorizing that one could time travel within his own lifetime, Dr. Sam Beckett stepped into the Quantum Leap accelerator and vanished... He woke to find himself trapped in the past, facing mirror images that were not his own and driven by an unknown force to change history for the better. His only guide on this journey is Al, an observer from his own time, who appears in the form of a hologram that only Sam can see and hear. And so Dr. Beckett finds himself leaping from life to life, striving to put right what once went wrong and hoping each time that his next leap will be the leap home.

[hide-in-imagination]

Simón and Ámbar are two very contradicting people and that's why they work so well. I'll elaborate:

Starting with Ámbar, she's someone who seems a lot, but isn't actually that much. With that I mean she seems very happy and in control and determined and like nothing ever gets to her, but as we get to know her, we start seeing she's actually incredibly lonely, comically indecisive when it comes to the simplest things, and has no real idea of who she is and where she belongs beyond striving to be number one at everything (because it's the only way she learned she can be loved.)

Ámbar, due to her childhood trauma with her motherly figure, is very independent, assertive, perfectionist and controlling. With these qualities, people usually go after romantic partners that they can 'control'-- that are subdued, sweet, gentle-- all the things their mothers weren't with them. The problem with that is that then these women can never relax (which is what they truly want deep down) because they are the ones who end up doing all the problem-solving in the relationship, the ones who always take the lead. Therefore, they should actually go after someone with more masculine energy instead.

We could say Ámbar did this by dating Matteo, but the problem is that Matteo was also too independent, perfectionist, and detached from the relationship, so neither of them really developed a deep emotional connection. (Which, let's be honest, neither of them was seeking, so it worked great for them.)

Then we have Simón, who at first glance would fit the 'feminine energy guy' thing perfectly-- He's sweet, gentle, easy-going, he puts other people first, etc.

BUT, turns out, Simón is the very embodiment of "Get yourself a guy who can do both." Because man does this guy can do both.

Simón might be a pacifist at heart, but he will not hesitate to fight for those he cares about, and he will call you out if you mistreat him because he has a very strong definition of what's right and what's wrong, and he will not allow people to purposefully behave badly. He might tend to go with the flow of what other people wanna do, but he is brave enough and independent enough to leave his country and fly across the globe with nothing more than a suitcase and a guitar.

He also has the drive to go after his dreams even when they seem impossible, and he declared his feelings for Luna the moment he realized he had them even when it could endanger their friendship-- He did not stay passive. Even in Season 3 when he was the most passive (aka staring at Ámbar from afar 24/7 but doing nothing about it) this inaction was not due to lack of confidence or drive (after all, he had the confidence to ask her to dance from the very beginning)-- It was because he knew Ámbar was not in the same place as he was. Ámbar at the beginning of Season 3 was having fun playing with Simón, even tried to manipulate him with the feelings he harbored for her more than once-- She was not in an honest place of "I want us to be together." Even later, when she was getting into that mindset, Simón kept his distance but he was clear about what he wanted if she wished to be with him. He had the assertiveness to say "I'm crazy about you, but I'm not gonna play into this if you don't put in some effort."

So what do we have? Someone who is empathetic and kind and chill enough for Ámbar to get that security and love she didn't receive as a child, but also someone who's strong enough, determined enough, and driven enough to allow herself to relax every now and then and let him take the lead of things. Our girl hit the jackpot and I am jealous every day.

By the way, let me just mention, for someone who by all accounts should have an Avoidant Attachment Style, Ámbar sure as hell lets Simón in a lot. This might be because the script needed it, but I wanted to point it out because it's very curious to me. (If you don't know what Avoidant Attachment Style is, you can click here to read about it.) I mean, she went from a superficial relationship with Matteo to basically crying in front of Simón every day-- That's huge! Sure, you could argue that she couldn't help it since she was completely destroyed inside, but even then, I think it speaks very highly of him that Ámbar considered him a safe space to vent to during those tough times. We got another example of that in Season 3 when she was upset after her phone call with Sharon and then Simón walked into the lockers and she hugged him, seeking comfort. It's like she can't stop herself from wanting him to 'catch her', if you know what I mean;) But of course, she didn't want to admit she was that 'weak', so she completely shut him out the next day (the infamous maracuyá juice scene, ugh, don't even remind me, it hurt.)

Anyways, I realize I focused too much on Ámbar's side of things in the relationship instead of what both get out of it, but I already wrote in a post once what Simón gets out of it, so I'll let that speak for itself.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk, I wrote this instead of writing Roads✌🏻

[high-pot-in-noose]

Sometimes I don't do chores right away for any number of reasons, but one of these reasons can be that what I had developed into a tentative habit is simply kicked out from my brain as a habit. This one is a scary one for me, because that means I'm suddenly even less functional than already am, and degenerating is frightening, okay?

Ideally, when my brain has deleted the wash-the-dishes-right-away habit (for example), the best thing to do get me back into the practice is to just. Leave the dishes on the sink until I HAVE to wash them. Once my brain registers that, no, washing the dishes isn't painful and serotonin-draining, the habit will start forming again. Straight forward, right?

Wrong.

The approach the one I live with has taken is passive-aggressively snark at me about "forgetting" that unwashed dishes exist, complain that they have to pick up after me, and loudly do the dishes in front of me even after I explain that my brain did a fucky and now I have to work around myself to regain that function. They know I have the 'tism, I've explained executive dysfunction to them, and how people like me can't actually form habit the normal way. I'm knee-deep in the fallacy that if I just make myself perfectly clear when I explain things, people will understand; I can't escape that fallacy, though, because striving to make myself perfectly clear and give all information is basically the foundation of my being.

It goes without saying that I have yet to regain my dish-washing function. I had managed to rinse and stack the dishes all in the secondary sink just to make it easier to psyche myself up into actually just doing it, but what happened when I went to the bathroom? I came back, and they were already washed and left to drain; my efforts for nothing.

"Hey, I can understand that it's troublesome that certain chores that have been primarily mine aren't getting done right away right now, but I'd still really appreciate it if you could cooperate with me while I'm trying to reform the ability to execute. Could you just leave them? By taking away the need to do them, you're convincing the part of my brain that's insisting dish-washing is to be avoided that it's correct to keep insisting that."

"Blah blah blah, I can't stand untidiness in front of my eyes, blah blah blah, you're lazy, blah blah, just do it, blah, you're just making excuses."

The idea that I put off things just to not have to do them has always felt insane to me.

Look at my anxious, unable-to-focus, eternally-peeved ass, Gertrude! What part of me looks like I'm having a good time? What about me sitting here, staring blankly and unblinkingly at the kitchen table I can't wipe down despite how much I want to, knee bouncing erratically, hands constantly fiddling with my hair, sweaty, hunched over, and needing to remind myself to breathe, comes across to you as having a good time?

[redemn]

very soon after waking up this morning ,   i saw a video discussing high honour arthur vs low honour arthur which really put into perspective my own thoughts and feelings on arthur's actions and the motivations behind my own characterisation .   naturally ,   now i'm sitting down to ruminate over why i ultimately write arthur as higher honour instead of lower honour ,   or even middle honour .   thought you folks might like to know ,   considering i place huge importance on arthur's internal motivations influencing his external actions . thank you for reading if you do . x

first and foremost ,   most people ,   at least from what i've seen on the internet ,   do tend to consider high honour arthur with a lot more nuance than they do low honour arthur .   a lot low honour content i've had the displeasure of seeing tends to characterise him as being just purely evil and immoral in all tendencies ,   killing for no reason ,   not helping people in obvious distress assumably just because he doesn't want to .   not entirely my thoughts on this one :   a fundamental difference between high honour arthur and low honour arthur stems from their ability ,   and perhaps even their own desire ,   to take accountability for their own actions .   high honour arthur acknowledges that he has done something that has impacted someone negatively and acknowledges that it ,   perhaps ,   was wrong of him ,   whereas low honour arthur isn't evil ,   he just doesn't see his actions as necessarily wrong ,   and not something that needs reform .   he still holds the same frame of mind as high honour when it comes to the care of the gang ,   but he accepts his path is coming to an end and he's decided he cannot change anything .   "my path is coming to an end ," he says to reverend swanson ,   while high honour arthur ,   interesting enough ,   says ,   "i'm worried my path is coming to an end" during that conversation .   high honour arthur realises he still wants to make a right in the world  …  and that he won't be able to .

now for my thoughts :   in the context of the above ,   my arthur is incredibly aware of how his actions impact others a majority of the time ,   and once he does ,   sometimes   ( but not every time )   works to rectify the wrongs he committed ,   even if his payback doesn't even come close to the bad that he did .   it will never come close to the wrongs he committed ,   and he knows that ,   but he tries .   i actually write arthur as lower honour earlier in his adult life ,   when he doesn't have as much experience and he's enjoying life for what it is before he gets hit with all those bad experiences and that trauma ,   whereas once he starts seeing the world for what it is around the time of rdr2 ,   his honour begins to climb around then to the point where he's pretty high ,   but not max ,   honour .   that sounds like a really superficial way of putting it :   the honour mechanic is far more intuitive and nuanced than simply   'he killed a lot of people and went on a 50-person massacre in st denis'   even though lots of people only see it that way .   sometimes he sees what he does as wrong .   sometimes he doesn't .   depends on the situation .

what i'm trying to say is ,   he's more reflective of his actions as more bad things happen to him , �� which in itself is a somewhat selfish reason to be doing good .   being hit with karma does that to a man .   he knows he cannot make up for everything he's done in his life ,   but he still strives to try and right what he can before his time is up ,   because he knows he can make a difference in a small way .   he's seen it himself in the way he helped that german family flee ,   in the way he helped the black travelling doctor get his wagon back ,   in every small task he does for strangers .   he takes accountability as much as he's able ,   for those things he thinks he was wrong about :   ie ; blindly collecting the debts ,   even going so far as to doom a man to death for pennies on the dollar .   as i've said before .   i do not believe the term 'good man' is quite true when it comes to arthur .   moreso that he is just a regular human being that does good and does bad ,   and he's done a hell of a lot of bad that gives people a hell of a lot of justified reasons to hate him .   he's not perfect .   but he knows .   and he's sorry .