#subjecting my poor child to suffering as always

[arcandoria]

I've been thinking how everyone has a personal quest, except you as a PC ofc, and for that reason... what would be Nat's personal quest.

Already established she's been constantly on the run for deserting Lolth's cult in Menzoberranzan, so it'd definitely be tied to that. I like to think that for the past 70 years, she's always been captured here and there but always managed to escape.

She's not under constant attack, there's a lot to do in actual service, but to turn your back on the Spider Queen is a great as sin as ever, one Nat's previously High Priestess would like to see properly punished, with a great deal of pain involved.

I haven't decided many specifics yet, but my general outline is that during Act 2, due to close proximity to a convenient Underdark entrance, Nat gets snatched up somehow and has to be freed. Between her companions realizing she's gone and actually finding her, her captors have flooded her system with poison that only an expert can get rid of.

And that's how it "bleeds" to Act 3, where either Araj Oblodra helps after some of her bizarre bargains, or the treatment has to be found lost somewhere in the Sorcerous Sundries. Meanwhile, Nat's in under constant but somewhat manageable pain and has her combat abilities (which are not that exquisite, she's a thief after all and not a fighter) severely hindered.

[milksuu]

can I get some headcannons based on Heartsteal being becoming fathers? Like how they were during the time their s/o was pregnant. :3c

Maybe a bonus on whether the child was planned or not.

❥ prompt: v!heartsteel expecting father headcanons with reader ❥ content/warnings: suggestive themes, foul language, pregnancy and all things related, baby genders mentioned ❥ characters/pairings: Heartsteel! (aphelios, ezreal, kayn) x pregnant!reader an;; forgive me, i am too sleepy tired to write for all the boys atm. ;w; fml my hc's for sett would make me fold errr maybe later

░꒱♡‿ִ₊˚→ APHELIOS

When you break the news, Aphelios forgets he primarily uses sign language to speak. To your surprise, and to his own, he uses broken words and barely audible sounds. Almost like a child learning to talk again. You have to help him by taking his hands, and guiding him to use them instead of straining his vocal cords.

'Are...are you sure?'

At first, it's difficult to process all the emotions. Happiness. Fear. Excitement. Anxiety. Love. Overwhelmed, he presses your hands against his face, hiding his unraveling expressions. Afer a beat, he chokes up. His hands squeezes yours, deepening your touch. And within moments, you're wrapped in his arms. And he presses as much of you into himself as he can. Holding you so close to his heart, you feel it pound against your cheek. As if to say; 'is it really okay for me to be this happy?'

To any outsider looking in, Aphelios seems disconnected and unenthusiastic about the whole situation. A plus-one wasn't planned, after all. When anyone asks about you and the baby, he replies with a simple 'Fine. Thanks.' And promptly diverts the subject back to work or anything else. But on the inside, the poor man is suffering. Constantly worrying about you and the babies well-being. In reality, he's too afraid to indulge in his own happiness and share it with others. Fearing the moment he does, it'll all shatter like glass in front of him. And he won't be strong enough to mend the pieces.

It's no surprise that his new chronic obsession consist of only making sure you and the growing baby are safe. He texts every hour, on the hour. Makes frequent video calls. And installs motion sensor cameras around the house, especially in places you could easily fall. And no, he doesn't mind watching you fold laundry or wash dishes for an hour while on a face call. So long as he can see you smiling and healthy, that's all he needs to assure him when he's not physically with you.

He's also pulling all nighters until his bottom eyelids are rimmed red. Reading hundreds upon hundreds of articles, forum posts, and online material on how to be a 'Good Father'—especially one who can't speak. Jotting down everything he can in his notebook, bleeding pen after pen dry from ink. There's plenty of times you have to wake up in the middle of the night and convince him back to bed. But only after reassuring him a thousands times how great of a father he'll be.

When the baby bump begins to show, Aphelios presses his ears against your stomach. Listening to the life you carry inside you. The amniotic sounds ease his intrusive thoughts, and lulls him to sleep; he always imagines he's taking a nap right beside the baby. Plus, he loves getting the small bit of attention from you as you run your fingers through his hair. A moment of selfishness he can't help but relish all for himself.

As for sex...well, he's not always on board with the idea. As much as he craves to be inside you everyday, especially when your body looks so heavenly full, he just doesn't want to risk anything. Especially in your later months. Last thing he wants to do is induce an early labor. But he's more than willing to devote his hands and mouth to satisfy every inch of you that he can. Worshipping you with adoring kisses and soft touches from head to toe. He's happy to please you, and doesn't expect anything in return in your state. (Of course, you do anyway.)

Familial genetics is one heck of a thing. Aphelio's eyes are blown wide at an image screen that shows two babies growing side-by-side. When it's conclusive you'd be having identical twin boys, he almost collapses in front of the ultrasound technician. So not one—but two—surprise gifts waited for him at the end of the third-trimester. And if they would be anything like him, their house would be a pranking death trap to all who entered. No one would be safe, except for mom.

░꒱♡‿ִ₊˚→ EZREAL

When you show Ezreal your pregnancy result, he looks at it with complete shock. He's locked in silence, which is never a good thing for someone as talkative as him. You almost have second thoughts about revealing the news until he bounces to you and gathers you in his arms. Eyes brimming with tears of absolute joy.

"No way—No way! Are you telling me I'm going to be a dad? Babe, for real. Is that what these two lines mean? Are you kidding me? This is the happiest freakin' day of my life!"

Ezreal has always been a fan of surprises, and this big news was no exception. Everywhere he went, no matter the conversation, he'd just casually state he was becoming a father. Didn't matter the person or group setting. Family. Friends. The neighbor; his neighbor next to him. The young teen delivering packages to his door. The grandmother and her toy-poodle waiting in line at the convenience store. If anyone was around him, he was boasting about you and the now expected bundle of joy.

Ezreal tries his bestest to help you around the house. He's never been great at chores, but he's a happy little helper eager to listen and please. You tell him exactly what you need from him, and he'll do it with a smile on his face. Anything that keeps your stress levels low, he wants to be the one you rely on to ease your burden.

Ezreal can't lie and say he understands everything about pregnancy and what you're going through. It all seems to go right over his head. The only thing he seems to get is your morning sickness, because he's literally feeling it too. Seeing you nauseous gets his own sympathetic response going. So while he's trying to comfort you, holding your hair as you hover over the toilet, he's also cradling the nearby trash bucket for himself. (How romantic!)

When your stomach grows, Ezreal can spend hours and hours talking to it. He never runs out of topics. Even mentioning the most mundane parts of his everyday life. These moments are when he feels he's bonding most with his child to be. He'll pretend to tell the baby secrets that you don't even know about, and whispers out loud with a wink, "but don't tell your mom about that one, 'kay?"

Ezreal is literally terrified to have sex with you. And not because he doesn't find your body attractive. But he actually believes he'll poke the baby's eye out, or pop you like a water balloon. And if that ever happened, the guilt would forever destroy him. It takes a visit to the obgyn and for a professional to explain that it's perfectly safe to have sex during your pregnancy. He's hesitant at first, but after the first go around, his confidence and sex drive picks right where it left off. (He regrets not going at it like rabbits sooner.)

When you're at your routine ultrasound appointment, Ezreal can't stop the tears parading down his face, even before he knows it's a boy. Hiccuping and siffling, one hand squeezes yours tight, while the other points at the imaging. "H...He...looks just...like me." It's endearing for him to think that. When the monitor only shows splotchy and fuzzy spots of the babies butt. The copied images to take home are his favorite photos taken. Ever.

░꒱♡‿ִ₊˚→ KAYN

When you break the news to Kayn, he doesn't hesitate to pull you in by the waist, pressing your hips together. Guiding a hand to the back of your neck, in a manner that was gentle and not comparable to how he fucked you senselessly. And with all the care in the world, he takes your lips.

"Damn. You're fertile as Hell. It only took us one time after you stopped your birth-control. Honestly, it's really fuckin' hot. How about we—you know—to celebrate?"

Counter to popular belief, Kayn brought up the idea to start a family first. When you asked him the reason, he first joked around a bit, telling you how hot and sexy it would be to 'impregnate you with his seed'. But, he put aside his usual impulsivities, and explained his desire to move on to the next part of his life. He was done with the partying and drugs. Over the one night stands and dating random no-nobodies. And just wanted to have a more meaningful, family oriented life—with you.

To show he's committed to the whole idea, he takes days off from his idol schedule to go to every prenatal check-up appointment. He plucks and stuffs every pamphlet into his pockets he can find around the waiting lobby. He asks tons of questions to the obgyn, and stuffs more educational brochures in his pockets. You have to scold him when he tries to snag a small uterus replica from the exam room. Kayn defends himself, wanting it for "educational" purposes. (Rhaast just wanted it as a neat souvenir.) He settles when a medical assistant gives him a sperm shaped pen.

Kayn is another one that isn't great with house chores. (But he'll gloat and say he's mastered cleaning the dishes, at the very least.) He's generally better at being sent for errands outside the home. If you need an extra ingredient to make dinner, he'll hop on his motorcycle and get it in record time. And if you're not feeling up for cooking, he'll order pick-up from your favorite place in town. You need to send a package at the post office? He'll wait hours in line on the busiest day of the week. Whatever he can do for you, he makes sure it gets done. So you never have to worry about something once you pass the responsibility to him. Showing you he's a more than capable partner and future father.

When your baby bump starts to show, Kayn's favorite thing to do is touch it. Applying the softest pressure as he runs his hands and finger across your rounding stomach. He's always enamored whenever he feels the baby move; another reminder of how amazing you are. And he never forgets to vocalize it. "You're so goddamn beautiful, you know that?" he'll say like you've cursed him. Cradling your face and taking your mouth.

You never have to tell this man more than once to touch or have sex with you. It's part of his daily routine a this point. And definitely one of his favorite ways to bond with you. But now that you're pregnant, it's as if the sex between you two has shifted into another plane of pleasurable existence. Never getting enough of it, even moments after finishing. But on the days you're not up for it, he respects it. And doesn't mind defaulting to cuddling, before dozing off to sleep with you in his arms. (But he eagerly counts down the time for when you're in the mood again.)

Kayn tries not to show to much of his softer-side; he rather be the one to have his shoulder wet than yours. But at your ultrasound appointment, once it's confirmed you're having a girl, his whole punk 'fuck only the hot police' persona collapses. You notice him clear his throat, and quickly swipe a knuckle at the corner of his eyes. He masks this dent of composure by huffing a laugh, "Guess I'm, uh...going to be kicking the crap out of a lot of asses later."

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s3 episode 20 thoughts

dare i say it, once again… new favorite episode??

okay, my previous favorite episode was an ENTIRELY different direction from this one, but i’d say there should be one best episode for serious stuff and one best episode for the silly!!! and this takes the silly crown!! and tbh i can't make an actual hard and fast rating anyway because there are so many great things to choose from- but this is amongst them, for me, in terms of legendary episodes!

please, join me on this ride, which i enjoyed each second of, and will need to someday rewatch without pausing every 0.5 seconds to jot something i noticed down. the live experience begins beneath the cut.

it’s been 84 years…. (3 days since i’ve seen an episode)

ooo, this sounds interesting! is scully going to work with an author?? are we gonna learn more about the things that she reads?? this is prime content to a person like me

stars…. space ship….. filled with tubes and wires and other such things…… just kidding!!! it’s a guy working on some electrical stuff. whilst two people drive by!! i thought they were mulder and scully at first but they are not

“um, i don’t want to scare you, but i think i’m madly in love with you” says this guy who is not mulder but actually named harold to this girl who is not scully but is actually named chrissy. OH! and this is the first date. so that was a weird thing to say. i thought it was quite sweet at first but that changes things for sure.

GASP! UFO be upon them. creatures are coming out to get them. she asks what they are and he says “how the hell should i know?” ooo ooo i know! they are aliens 👽 and then the two fall on top of each other like they are knocked out… and the aliens drag them away???? 

until a king kong looking fellow rolls up. very puppet-y. and the aliens don’t know what this creature is either!!! and also ask what that thing is and the response is “how the hell should i know?” haha i see what you did there... out aliening the alien

bum bum bum bum…. (<- my attempt at recreating the noise of the intro)

now, what was that? i'm stuck on the king kong and godzilla love child puppet….

scan up on mulder’s iconic poster!!! and a guy is here who is yet again not mulder. his name is mr. chung and mulder will NOT talk to him… oooh, what is their beef…?

mr. chung is saying he always felt alienated on this planet, who can even imagine actual aliens! and he has a point there.

oh! scully is a big fan of this fellow, which is why she agreed to talk to this guy!!! he calls her beautiful, which is true, but time and place 

so he isn’t even interested in aliens, but his publisher said he should write a book on the matter. he is going to create a NEW genre: non fiction science fiction, a gimmick that will give him money. this seems somewhat disappointing to scully, who must be a believer in artistic integrity, but i find his honesty refreshing.

she wants him to tell the truth, but apparently he spent 3 months in kass county where all this stuff went down, and NO ONE could tell him what actually happened. the truth is just as subjective as reality. which sounds like something i learned in history class. and, it helps explain why everyone with an alien story starts with some variation of, "i know this sounds crazy, but"...

so he wants HER version of hearing of the case. also he touches her arm and... let's slow down a little there, mr. chung.

OHHH we are seeing a story told in flashbacks!!!! narrated by scully!! how wonderful!!!

this girl is suffering from “missing time”, a phenomenon we have come to know well here on this blog. also her clothes are inside out and she has signs of abuse. not looking great for her.

apparently mulder prefers the term “abductee” to “experiencer”, which mr. chung has valid disagreements with. we go on, however.

this poor girl is seeing aliens that are not there and her nose is bleeding. WAIT! it’s the guy from before! harold and chrissy! he comes to her window to say he did everything he could but she rejects him, thinking he had drugged and assaulted her. yikes.

harold is testifying that he was abducted by aliens, but no one believes him. he stuck to his story UNTIL our agents arrived!

(MULDER SAYS SOMETHING VERY OUT OF POCKET HERE ABOUT GOING TO PRISON BUT LET'S KEEP MOVING)

despite this announcement of presumed prison time, mulder brings chrissy in for questioning. asking her if she has all the symptoms of “post abduction disorder”, which she confirms, while scully rolls her eyes with great force in the background. and he talks the girl’s parents into letting her do hypnosis.

“what is your opinion of hypnosis?”, mr. chung asks scully, which is something i also have been dying to know! i mean, we saw her do a little bit before, but it didn’t seem to be a positive experience. she says it has therapeutic value, but has never been proven to enhance memory; it even makes memory worse. a very balanced and doctor-ly answer! 

LMAO scully is so cute… mr. chung mentions another book he wrote and she proclaims it “one of the greatest thrillers ever written” <- STOP I LOVE HER SHE IS SUCH A NERRRRD 😭😭

mr. chung said the FBI knew nothing about how hypnosis worked back during the MK ULTRA days… and he is fascinated by the idea of a person’s consciousness being transformed by listening to words. admittedly very fascinating! you could probably say the same about meditation, no?

(but he speaks to the power of storytelling, i realize now in hindsight! how we find ourselves wrapped up in the tales of things that never happened, how it fills us with sorrow or joy! how fascinating! i see what you did there, writers!)

cutscene to hypnotizing chrissy. who is seeing aliens. she is on a space ship wearing a fit that looks very similar to a lady gaga chromatica era performance, but it has tubes attached to her. harold is in a very similar contraption!!!!

she says the aliens are arguing without moving their mouths and she hears the lead alien in her head saying it’s for the good of her planet. and he is stealing her memories? um. for what purpose...

scully is serving looks in the corner while this goes down, looking mad as hell and very good. she says chrissy's abduction story seems a little TOO typical… and i have to agree! but mulder says no, there are TWO people with the same story! they can't both be lying, surely!

LMAOOOO they play with censoring the dude who comes in and yells at them… “well, of course he didn’t actually say ‘bleeped’” 

(BAHAHA i’m loving this insight into how scully’s memories operate. so this angry man is named detective manners)

“you still gonna hold the boy?” “oh, you bet your blankety-blank bleep i am” <- i am a simple woman, and an actor delivering these lines with a straight face whilst surrounded by other actors keeping a very straight face is going to make me cackle. look at her looking so bored while he says that. i’m howling!!!!

anyway, harold has a very different story on what went down that night, that did not seem to involve gaga-inspired fits, but instead they were both placed in electrified cages. while another alien in a nearby cage smokes a cigarette. he seems to be what i would call “an unbothered king”

in this story, harold claims that he will protect chrissy and never let anything happen to her, and of course something immediately happens to her while he hides in the corner like a baby. lmao.

and this alien is talking in english! not telepathically! he keeps repeating “this is not happening” until harold ALSO gets taken by the thing that took chrissy. 

mulder is trying to figure out what is going on, but his predictions aren’t lining up with what happened to harold. scully is pacing and looking pissed, and again, very pretty.

“you know when you’re a kid, and you tore the legs off a bug for no reason?”, asks harold (cutscene to mulder’s face with visible confusion) LMAOOOOOOO

scully getting to business: did you engage in consensual sexual intercourse that night? she is not messing around! she's had it up to here with the shenanigans of harold and chrissy!

harold is very very quiet until he says that her father will kill him if he finds out!!! gasp!!! confirmation!!!

so is this whole story just… a cover up??? for fornication???

scully vs mulder time. “so what if they’re having sex?” he asks, which is funny coming from him; and anyway, he claims it happened BEFORE the alien stuff went down. but she thinks they’re traumatized, and that is more likely than alien abduction. 

until detective manners bursts in and claims he has an eyewitness to what went down! he used more blanks and bleeps and again the straight faces killllll me

and ALL OF THEM telling their stories start with “i know how crazy this all sounds” just as mr. chung had described LMAOOO. now who tf is this dude who says he was an eyewitness?

(i’m taking soooo many notes because i keep laughing and noting things. which is a good problem to have!)

this dude, named roky, spent 48 hours straight writing down what he saw, and said that by looking at this, they are putting their lives in danger. so okay. better be juicy.

he says his garage door opened up, a car pulled in, and a man told him some facts about venus. he says they put him in a trance! and that they were in all black……

mr. chung says that myths of men in black garments are nothing new!!! so take THAT, men in black legends, you are one of many.

back at roky's place, the other dude in black says jimmy carter thought he saw a UFO once, but it was just venus. roky is scandalized, grabs his paper, and states that he is a REPUBLICAN.

(omg jimmy carter is going to be 100 in a few months god willing…..)

this man in black is saying that roky saw VENUS and nothing else, just VENUS. and not to tell anyone he saw anything but VENUS or he will die. and then the car drives away. 

so after that build up, he gives mulder the manuscript, and says he is packing up and leaving. bye bye roky. hope you find some peace.

mulder is reading this story to scully who is sprawled on the bed, looking, again, angry and hot. it seems he is describing that earlier puppet-y action.

oh! roky was the electrical guy from the very beginning!!! he hides in his truck but the king kong looking fellow says “be not afraid” and that he is needed for the good of the earth? what is with the good of the earth here.

cutscene to a very baffled looking scully laying in bed as mulder continues to read LMAOOOOOO

AND ROKY’S STORY SAYS HE WENT NOT TO OUTER SPACE, BUT INNER SPACE HELPPP!!!! now, inner space is towards the core, if you, like me, were unaware. also, king kong godzilla dude’s name is Lord Kinbote, so jot that down.

mr. chung says he has a copy of roky’s manifesto- which was sent to his publisher? and LMAOOO the story is disturbing both for its soul orgy scenes and the fact that it is written as a screenplay 

well, surely your partner didn’t believe any of it, mr. chung states! “mulder’s had his share of peculiar notions” is scully's carefully worded reply... LMAOOO 

cutscene to her sitting up from the bed and calling him nuts <- LMAOOOOO but HE says that whatever roky saw may have triggered some delusions, and that the only story that doesn’t add up is chrissy’s, so he is calling to get her re-hypnotized, much to scully’s indignation!

so back to the hypnosis. and chrissy is now mirroring harold's story exactly. oh! she says the people who took them are from the air force?? so where did the gaga slay outfits go... 

the air force men are arguing in front of her. and then they say to “rinse her out”. saying it is for the good of her country. and stealing her memories!

so WHO is doing the real memory stealing here….. the aliens or the government?? an age old question!!! one that is at the heart of this series.

scully and mulder fight over what is going on, and he thinks that this might have nothing to do with aliens, until detective manners shows up with news that a crazy blankety blank claims to have an ALIEN BODY!!

(what if it’s a raccoon with mange…)

again, the man recounting this story begins with “i know how crazy this is going to sound”, but then says he wants to be abducted by aliens. well! i’m sure that’s a sexual thing i don’t care to unpack.

cutscene to mr. chung interviewing this same man, who wishes to go where finding a job is not a requirement. he was looking in a field for UFOs. and when he called the authorities upon spotting one, the agents show up!!

he says that scully was a man dressed as a woman but not pulling it off??? RUDE AS HELL! jail for 10,000 years. "HER HAIR WAS A LITTLE TOO RED, YOU KNOW?" LMAOOOOO and mulder was the “tall, lanky one” with a blank expression. well yeah that is an accurate depiction.

AND ACCORDING TO THIS GUY'S ACCOUNT, WHEN MULDER SEES THE BODY, HE SHRIEKS LIKE A STARTLED SQUIRREL I’M CRYINGGGG. so scully says to wrap this body up!

BUT THEN SHE GRABS HIM AND SAYS TO NEVER TELL ANYONE HE SAW THIS I’M CRYINGGGG... that had to be such a silly scene to film 

okay, seeing the part about subjective truths now. this is so funny... why is this loser making scully a hater in his version!!!

she’s PISSED to hear he claims she said this LMAOOO and that is ridiculous!! they even let him view the autopsy!!

so mulder takes this weirdo’s camera and records the autopsy?? scully cuts his brain open. and the tape ends up on late night television LMAOOOO

SCULLY IS SO EMBARRASSED THAT SHE IS ON THIS ALIEN HOAX AUTOPSY TAPE... I’M CRYING SOMEONE SAVE HER!!! and the host of whatever show they end upon is STUPENDOUS YAPPI FROM THE CLYDE BRUCKMAN EPISODE!!!! i'm howlingggg

she’s mad that whoever got the film edited out all the important scientific findings!!! like the two layers of skin!!!

wait. it’s a zipper. this is a dead guy in an alien suit. LMAOOOOOOOOO

the weird UFO cameraman kid is ill after realizing it was an ordinary dead guy, and scully looks deeply pained as he runs away to get sick LMAOOO

so: who is this dead guy? he was in the air force! and his name is robert. but who arrives but more people from the air force!! are they here to bury him?? or question the agents…

the folks from the air force want robert back, so she has to break the news that he is dead, and being kept for investigation into kidnapping. can they see him? scully is like yeah sure but mulder says no!!! but you CAN talk to the other AWOL guy we brought in. GASP!! a bluff!!! and it works!! from this they learn there is another missing guy!

LMAOOOO except it doesn’t go as smoothly as intended, and mulder is all “hmm he was here a few minutes ago… guess he’s still AWOL… anyway wanna see the body?” I’M CRYING THIS MANNNN IS SO RIDICULOUS 

but bad news: the body is gone. 

cameraman UFO guy is sitting on his floor watching the autopsy tape. when in bursts… the men in black from the earlier garage scene!!!! they knock him out. 

he claims mulder slapped him back to reality. and that he ALSO threatened him... me when i lie.

so mulder doesn’t have the tape. but when he drives home a fully naked man is walking about in the woods. it’s the other missing lieutenant, jack!! he is repeating “this is not happening” in the same voice as the alien as before!!!!! HUH WHAT IS GOING ON?

mulder takes jack to eat. he claims to have piloted the "UFO", and that all the abductions are military stuff, and at the base the abductees are messed with mentally, until they come out convinced they were probed by aliens. 

well okay, if its all the government, than what abducted YOU, jack? he isn’t sure about anything at all anymore, even if he exists. until who walks in... but the military!!

wait, mulder points out, it can’t all be fake- who was the third alien? jack seems to know him by name- lord kinbote. HUH?

and mr. chung heard a story about that same night from the cook at the restaurant! apparently mulder ordered sweet potato pie? huh, that’s interesting. and he kept ordering more and more pies with each question he asked the chef. LMAOOOO I just KNOW that scene was hard to film!!!! scenes where people eat always make me wonder how many times they had to have that damn bite of pie. 

but he claims there was no jack, nor any air force personnel at all. just a hungry mulder. again, so what is the truth...

mr. chung points out that scully doesn’t seem too phased to learn about all the contradictions in this story, and she says well no, not after what happened next. because when he got back to the motel, the men in black were in her room, going through her stuff! they claim she went to get some ice. he’s got 'em at gunpoint, screaming WHERE IS SHE!!! all protective, okay i see you. but she really did go to get some ice???

okay… man in black says that some alien encounters are engineered by the government and then exposed to discredit truth seekers. and mulder counters, well, people say the men in black also do purposefully strange things, so that anyone describing them sounds crazy! they proceed to… try and hypnotize him?

BUT IT’S ALEX TREBEK WHO IS DOING THE HYPNOTIZING???? LMAOOOOO HAS HE BEEN THE QUIET MAN IN BLACK THIS WHOLE TIME??

mr. chung is GAGGED, and wants to know if it WAS alex trebek, but sadly scully cannot confirm, for has no memory of this!! 

she woke up the next morning to mulder in her room….? and mr. chung is also gagged to hear this. me too tbh like did he just sleep on the couch? well we know that is how he sleeps at home so i guess i'm not shocked.

mulder’s trying to explain that she didn’t just "let him in" last night, but detective manners calls and says they found a bleeping UFO.

and what is it but…. a plane!! a secret plane!! and who are they carrying away on stretcher but the missing airmen, jack and robert???? SO HOW DID THEY DIE!

mr. chung puts his pen down, baffled, and scully points out that this story may not have a lot of closure, but it’s more than some of their other cases, which is funny because it is true. and she’s playing with her earrings and it’s so cute.

cutscene to mr. chung typing at his place. until a shadow approaches and he holds a tiny gun!!!! he is ready for a showdown but it’s… mulder at the door?

WAIT how does chung recognize him… did scully show him pictures i'm crying

mulder is in chung's apartment, asking him to not write the book, because it will do a disservice to a field that has always struggled to maintain credibility. we can’t understand these alternate realities yet!!! well. compelling argument... but mr. chung needs a paycheck. 

OH! and mulder suspects that the book is a “covert agenda” of the military industrial complex. always theories upon theories with this guy...

mr. chung says the book WILL be written, but he needs an explanation from mulder: what really happened to those kids on that night?

his answer: how the hell should i know?

(it was so perfect, i thought the episode would end right here)

mr. chung says he has deadlines, and mulder looks very sad, very previously neglected shelter dog rizz, and walks out. back to mr. chung’s furious typing. 

okay, so the cameraman now works for the electrical company roky worked for. because roky moved to california, preaching on purification and the inner earth and core enlightenment. right right right makes sense.

cutscene to scully reading the finished book by mr. chung!!! she is fictionalized as “diane” who is “noble of spirit and pure of heart” but “nevertheless a federal employee” LMAOOOO

and mulder is “renard muldrake” LMAOOOOO that is such a funny name... he's watching something in bed shirtless as his fictionalized self is being described- “a ticking time bomb of insanity” AND HE’S WATCHING THE BIGFOOT TAPES BAHAHAHAHA

chrissy now is an environmental advocate and harold still loves her but it isn’t required. aww harold :(

mr. chung ends by saying that we are not alone in this universe, but in our own way, we are all alone.

NEW BEST EPISODE CONTENDER???

this feels like one of those posts where people make up a bunch of information and then it all gets proven wrong so it is described as a "net zero information gain" bahaha

but don't get me wrong, i don't fully understand what happened, but i loved it. i was laughing, i was enjoying seeing the subjectivity of one story to the next, i was enjoying scully and chung time, and despite all the silly, we still got clues on the whole "is it aliens or the government" thing. and sure, maybe it doesn't make immediate sense, but you have to ponder these matters to learn what is at their heart!

so what DID we learn? well, some alien cases might be the government! but i guess that is still a "might", so maybe we can't truthfully say we LEARNED it. we learned that scully is a big fan of mr. chung!!! we learned that mulder is fiercely protective of his line of work from all his years of being ridiculed! and that he watches the famous bigfoot tape for fun and also maybe like sweet potato pie? it was unconfirmed.

i really enjoyed the playing with perspective, seeing how one character saw things, and then another. and seeing mulder and scully threaten that dweeb was so funny because it was so out of character and had to be silly to shoot.

and i thought it was impressive how it managed to tie back to the big alien and government mystery while still making me laugh so hard. how many past episodes can be analyzed through the lens of certain things being faked for exposure? and what REALLY happened to those airmen? we still don't know if mulder's convo with jack even happened! and we never will!

i came to appreciate the company of mr. chung immensely, even though i thought he was gonna be creepy after calling scully beautiful and touching her arm, but i suppose that he was just a genuinely sweet fellow. you can't blame me for being suspicious after some of the things she gets put through, but i'm sure that if i picked one of his books off the shelf, i, like scully, would be a fan.

overall, i am deeply pleased, and would love to give this a rewatch sometime when i am not taking notes so i could appreciate the pacing in more detail. man, season 3 has really been killing it, huh? and i'm nearing the end!!

[usssnarfblat]

Did Anastasia deserve to die for her family's crimes against Fieval's family?

I've always found it interesting that "Anastasia" and "An American Tail" were made by the same guy...

My mom got us "An American Tail" as kids, since we were Jewish, and a Disney-like movie with Jewish characters was a one-of-a-kind thing. ("The Prince of Egypt" was still a few years away. Yes, I'm that old.) More to the point, my dad's side of the family is largely Russian Jews, who immigrated in the early 1920s, for exactly the same reasons as the Mouskewitz. Being a child of this background and very literally obsessed with cats, I had mixed feelings about the movie.

When "Anastasia" came out a few years later, Mom didn't let that history stop us from enjoying the new princess movie, but she didn't shelter us from it either. We regarded it like we did the real history behind any sugar-coated princess movie. She even got us some history books about the real Romanov family, and we were fascinated by the subject.

Still, it's an odd elephant in the room, watching "Anastasia" and knowing that her granddad was the one who sent those Cossack cats after Fievel's village, and her dad himself continued doing it to the Jewish mice who didn't leave.

"Go, Pompom, Kibble and Fluff-Baron! Kill those Jew mice, and I'll give you extra catnip treats tonight!"

Don Bluth presents both the Romannov family and their victims with equal sympathy, even opening both movies with the family celebrating a holiday, with the kid heroes getting a plot-specific present, before being viciously attacked.

"Wow Grandmama! Fieval and Tanya could use this as a merry-go-round!"

*Cough* "Yes uh, about those Jewish mice Sweetie..."

Bluth's portrayal of the Romanov family is not entirely inaccurate. By all accounts, Nicholas II was a deeply loving father who both doted on his children, but raised them not to be spoiled. Despite being royalty, the princesses shared bedrooms and did charity work at hospitals.

It's a baffling irony that Nicholas was nevertheless was a tyrant, and not remotely just to his Jewish subjects. When I was about twelve, Mom got me the Dear America book A Coal Miner's Bride, about the Catholic Polish immigrants who also fled the oppression of the Russian Tzar. (Anastasia's family conquered part of Poland in the 1800s, banning the Pols from speaking their own language and drafting their sons into the Tzar's dick-measuring contest wars.) Anyway, that's what my mom's side of the family was fleeing when they immigrated. Yes, my family has double reason to hate the Romanovs.

So, I personally don't have a lot of sympathy for Nicholas II. But the horrors his poor wife and children endured in their final moments never fails to get the reaction from me.

The rationalization for the murder of the children and queen was that it was the only way to ensure that the monarchy never returned. But I assume most modern-thinking people would say that the ends do not justify the means in this case.

That said, millions of families like Anetka's and Fievel's suffered as bad or worse than the Romanovs, because of the Romanovs, and no one remembers them because they didn't wear tiaras. This no doubt was another factor that killed sympathy for the Romanov children. But they were still children.

The question today is, if we can feel for a family that was literal royalty, despite their father being an undeniable tyrant against our own families...can we also feel for Palestinian and Israeli families, during a conflict that is vastly more complicated than Imperial Russia?

Or do they need to be cute mice and glittery princesses to get our attention?

[bimboficationblues]

Lanthimos' (and his writing collaborators) central preoccupation throughout his filmography has always been the tyranny of domesticity, each film taking up various methods of defamiliarizing those most familiar (literally) of social conventions. Poor Things is basically a high-gloss, big-budget play on the same core idea, a hybrid Frankenstein/bildungsroman narrative where the God/human relationship between creator and created is both explicitly gendered and less openly hostile (while still antagonistic), and the diegetic circumstances of the main character's existence lets her 1) essentially speedrun the typical child-to-adult process of forming a subjectivity and how that process is informed by propriety, work, money, education, charity, suffering, existential angst, and indeed sexuality, and 2) cast judgment on the merits and demerits of those norms thanks to her perspective as a previously sheltered outsider, and find ways to reject them as incongruent with the kind of enlightened socialist-humanist worldview she adopts (in a way that I think myself and others receive as a very autistic experience). but so many people continue to filter it through Barbie-brained shit about "sexual empowerment" and whether that's good or bad lol.

it does not escape my notice that a lot of the loudest criticisms seem to be about the notion of childhood sexuality in general or about not making its portrayal of sex work a literal adaptation of Catherine MacKinnon's most voyeuristic essays

[nkjemisin]

Things in my ask box #2

Got a new one for the “questions that might catch the poster some flak” bin. The poster asks, “What were you thinking when you wrote ‘The Ones Who Stay and Fight?’“ There was more to the question, but that’s what it boils down to (and I did clarify with the ask-er that this is what they wanted to know most).

I don’t generally like to discuss readers’ interpretations of my stories. Art is subjective, and what one person loves another might loathe, sometimes for the exact same reasons. Also, half the time I don’t even know what I’m doing; sometimes I don’t notice a theme in my work until years later when a reviewer mentions it, or I re-read it long after publication. My mind works in mysterious ways, even to me. But since you asked what I was thinking and not to confirm/deny a particular interpretation, I’ll try to explain.

(First, for those who haven’t read it, Ursula K. Le Guin’s “The Ones Who Walk Away From Omelas” is her most famous short story, and probably one of the most famous short stories in the world. There’s a whole subgenre of responses to it, because it provokes such powerful reactions in readers, and I’m no exception. [I’m a huge fan of Le Guin, if you didn’t know from me screaming about her to anyone who would listen for like 10 years now.] If you haven’t read the story, you should; it’s probably available somewhere online. There are a million ways to interpret the story, and if you poke around for reviews or lit crit analyses you’ll find feminist readings, anti-capitalist readings, mythopoeic/folklorist readings, and more. My story does not make sense if you haven’t read her story; it functions solely in conversation with Le Guin’s. Think of it as fanfic, if that helps.)

I’m not a literary scholar and I don’t pretend to be, but I’ve always leaned into the anti-capitalist reading of “Omelas.” Anybody who’s reading this in the developed world is already living in Omelas. Every time we buy a pair of Nikes, we’re contributing to sweatshops, child labor, migration crises, pollution... our own version of the abused child locked in a cellar. No ethical consumption under capitalism. Also, I lean anti-capitalist with “Omelas” because I think often of this quote by Le Guin:

“We live in capitalism. Its power seems inescapable. So did the divine right of kings. Any human power can be resisted and changed by human beings. Resistance and change often begin in art, and very often in our art, the art of words.”

Bad. Ass. I want to be her when I grow up.

That said, when I decided to respond to this as a writer -- by writing back to it -- I was more interested in anti-racist readings of Omelas. Those interpretations don’t seem to be as popular, but at the time I wrote my story, I was trying to process the absolute bombardment of open racism and every other kind of bigotry that seemed to be metastasizing in the wake of Trump’s election. I pondered the world that these people seemed to want:  a world of war and endless suffering, doomed to end in extinction for us all (tho some believe Jesus or Jeff Bezos will whisk them away before things get too bad). I wondered what it would take to come back from that world, if we went down that path but managed to survive as a species. So to my mind, Omelas works well as a metaphor for conservatives’ (and fascists’) endless fantasies of the world that was, in which everything was wonderful before the “corruptions” of liberalism destroyed it -- corruptions like equality, diversity, intellectualism, religious freedom, and democracy. This is the “again” that the “make America great...” people embrace -- a “better” world that never existed. We all know that in the 1950s, there were plenty of kids in cellars, worse than today: BIPOC kids, queer kids, disabled kids, poor kids. If America’s wealthy and powerful get what they want, they will get to live in a utopian fantasy; the rest of us go in the cellar.

The society these people want is one that further-codifies the idea that some people are lesser. Some people aren’t as fully people, basically, and therefore don’t deserve rights, basic necessities, compassion, or life. Therefore I decided to make my “utopia” (scare quotes because, like Omelas, Um-Helat really isn’t) an anti-bigoted society, which has instead chosen to codify the idea that no one is lesser. Instead of its happiness depending on limited oppression, I wanted my “utopia” to depend on limited suppression of that insidious idea.

Suppression is no better than oppression, by the way. We’re used to oppression, so maybe it doesn’t seem so bad... to some. But both ways of maintaining these not-quite-utopias require harm to be done to some for the benefit of others. Omelas chose to limit the harm to a random child, and to a lesser degree to all its citizens, who must morally compromise themselves in order to enjoy their lives. Um-Helat chooses to limit the harm to those who’ve internalized some people are lesser -- the intolerant, per Karl Popper’s paradox of tolerance -- and to the “social workers,” who must morally compromise themselves in order for the other citizens of Um-Helat to thrive. I was also playing with the idea that there’s nowhere to walk away to. Imperialism and capitalism have made pretty much the whole world Omelas, in real life. So how does any society grapple with its own complicity with evil? Omelas is better off than our own world, and Um-Helat, because people can walk away, there.

It’s entirely possible that I failed to do what I tried to do with this story -- first because I tried to do so much. “Omelas” is a deceptively simple argument with deep, complex points being made; my attempt to answer had to cover a lot of territory. Second because Le Guin was a master of the short form, while I’m pretty much a dabbler, and third because this was also my first time trying pastiche, and it probably shows. But I believe in shooting my literary shot, hit or miss, and I’m glad that I did. It turned out better than I expected.

So that’s what I was thinking. ☺️

[hjellacott]

forgot to mention this stuff in the other ask, but I think that, yes women definitely have lots of problems, but Stats prove society shows little mercy to men… and stats show women in particular do the same in causing this suffering with the support of society as a whole. Suicide stats, divorce and who benefits stats, sentencing and length of sentences for the same crimes, custody of children, and the list continues.  Men’s mental health only just became relevant recently but there have always been help programs for women. Women get into careers and schools/universities because of DEI and quotas + affirmative action whereas men have no such thing. I’m no woman hater but men get shafted by society and women in particular too 

I think statistics really depend on year and country and specific departments and as a former psychology student, I know the way of making statistics can be very subjective sometimes, so I'd have to look at specifics. But in general, I think men are shown A LOT of mercy. To put for example the country where I'm from. In my country, a bunch of teenage boys murdered a teenage girl who was the ex of one of them. Of all those boys, most ended-up in other countries, and only one was sentenced and imprisoned, while the girl's body hasn't ever been found (and this was ages ago). More recently, my country has had several cases of men gang-raping women. Not women gang-raping men. And the sentences have always been quite lenient, you're out in a little over a decade, even in cases where there wasn't just rape, but also murder, or where the victim was underage. The only place I can think of where women might have a slight "advantage" is when deciding child custody, that it tends to go to the woman, but that is only because with the huge rates of men not giving a fuck about their children and abandoning them, women are traditionally more trustworthy to lovingly raise their children, not to mention you'd be surprised by the amount of cases in which the man, in a divorce of a heterosexual couple with children, does not want their children more than in the weekends. Like, it's happened in my own extended family, seen with these eyes. As there are also many cases where the man is considered unfit for sole custody (long working hours, or poor salary, or just mentally/economically/skillfully unfit, or worse, violence and abuse) or where they start of with an equal agreement and in the end the man is neglecting his kids so much that he loses his share. And even when violent men are stripped of custody, I know my own country is quite lenient with that too. For example, there's the case of a female friend of mine, who as a child was for years sexually abused by her father, who was violent to her, her mother, and her little brother. The situation ended-up in prison and the father lost custody and was in prison for about a couple of decades or so, before being allowed out. And for as long as my friend and her brother were underage, they were forced by social services to spend time with their father in the company of a social worker who apparently sucked for what I heard, and they were subjected to verbal abuse by their father in these occasions - and still, even my friend who was raped by him, the kids were forced by law to continue with these visits, that left my friend's brother a clinically diagnosed psychopath (poor thing had to continue going long after my friend was an adult and no longer going, because of the age difference, and my friend wasn't allowed to accompany him), and that truly wrecked them, purely on the basis that the man had a right to see his children by law. So from where I stand, if you're a man, you can be literally convicted for sexual abuse of your own family and you'll still have your every right and very little time in prisons that in my country are more like hotels. A woman, on the other hand, loses her sanity in the best case scenario, and her life in the worst.

[j0kers-light]

Can you tell us a bit about yourself? I'm a Pisces girl too!

About me!

Hi anon— sorry for the late reply there’s not much to tell (I am so boring) but here we go! 🖤✨

I’m going twenty five years around the sun & my pronouns are she/her. Fun fact despite my genre of writing.. I identify as Asexual in real life. 🖤💜🩶🤍

When I’m not reading, I’m cooking/baking with my headphones constantly on. I’m rarely seen without them granted music is an essential component of my life. I have withdraws if I don’t hear tunes after a long period of time.

I had a dog for 14 years, lost him on my birthday this year (2023) and now I have so much time on my hands, ion know what to do. So I’m writing almost daily now after work. Writing is purely a hobby, I had an editor send me an offer contract; wayy too strict for my liking. If it wasn’t obvious, I’m an African American female, using myself as a model for Y/n ninety percent of the time!

I wanted to break the stigmatism with black!fem!readers with my story. We’re not always loud and aggressive. We can be soft and demure and we deserve love that isn’t toxic and/or abusive. Moving on before I start ranting lol.

Based on the recent flood of asks I requested, majority of you all are international whereas I’m stuck in the states 🇺🇸 le sigh. Y’all are so lucky omg.. I love learning about different cultures and traditions and it’s a secret wish of mine to learn a new language.

Edit: I've taken up learning Greek! Γειά σου 👋🏾

I have a passport, I’m just scared of flying (plus I’m poor) 😭 I’ve been checking off the countries as they come in and nine different flags so far! We really foreign in here!! 😜 Send me more asks with your country to join the international banner!

🇳🇱 🇩🇪 🇦🇺 🇨🇦🇮🇹 🇬🇧 🇬🇪🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 🇺🇸

Special shoutout to Georgia 🇬🇪 not Atlanta, GA USA. That’s completely different- love you girl🖤 oh I’m getting distracted lol. That happens often.

I’m not into astrology but yeah I’m a Pisces suffering from insomnia and a hyperactive brain. Funny how being called gifted as a child morphed into a learning deficit as I grew older but I embrace my special. It’s all good 🤧

Completely unrelated, I’m terrified of butterflies and I can’t smell. I taste things instead. My fav color is blue and I can’t stand anything pink.

Wow that was a lot of info dumping. Okay. Um. Someone please change the subject. I probably didn’t share enough but that’s that’s for the time being 🤫 oh and that’s my favorite emoji

[silvercat-s]

Thank you for responding! I think I understand what you mean by the change of your views, since I have been following you on and off since then, I have happily witnessed your evolution here. As far as memory serves, you started off on the note of seeing Henry in not so insightfully nuanced way as you do now, and that's actually something no one can blame you for, the play did make us truly connect where Jamie Campbell Bower's empathetic defense emerged from since the beginning. Deep down, I wanted him to be redeemed too (his moments with El seemed way too genuine to be overlooked haha) but just like that you, I felt I didn't have enough evidences to point towards that direction till TFS spoilers started to drop by. But I am replying to you here to make you know that the perception which we have had it now overwritten under new Henry Creel content's light was not something to be embarrassed of. That was still you and your amazing analytical skills to have drawn what you drew with whatever limited info we were given. I understand that we are constantly growing, changing and that's a great thing, but that doesn't make your earlier reviews to be entirely wrong, they rather add beauty to its complexity which I believe we all should be proud of. It also commemorates our growth as a dedicated fan of a show which has a thing for life-changing twists for 001 of its characters. (pun obviously intended lol). Besides some of your speculations hit the bull's eyes. ( George being Henry after all) So your older blogs are still "a nice walk down memory lane" memories :))) I still admire your bravery for voicing your opinions no matter how odd one out they seemed at that time. Secondly, ( yeah I have already written so much I should be at its last para by now but still xD) I also understand the discrepancy of ship you are onboard now. And it doesn't bother me at all honestly. I actually believed in Creelarke before the play had me doubting till I decided " I will first watch the play whenever it streams on Netflix and then see for myself, what seems more canon lol" I am not like one of those toxic fans who would harass you or hold a legit grudge for changing your opinions or no longer agreeing with something rarely mutual as the matter is honestly very subjective at this point, but I appreciate the warning of ' things not being the same' you put in your response :) And lastly, (yeah finally), whenever I click on those 3 dots which would open to " view archive or block user yada yada" options, it no longer contains the Archive feature. I even tried the URL trick lol, ( yup completely not that desperate) but it would come back to this page, it's honestly like Eleven running in Nina only to return to the Rainbow Room with Henry being "Well well" haha. Hence, I hope you look into it!

You're right, I was never one of those "Henry is a heartless monster who deserved all the abuse he suffered" people, he was always my favorite character after all, and I always believed his fate could've been avoided if he had got any true help and love, and that his fondness for Eleven was genuine, but I was still wrong about him in many ways, I used to think he always had those murderous tendencies even as a kid, and I just assumed that was the direction they were taking it, it never crossed my mind they would want to subvert the evil child trope, even tho the clues were always there, I just ignored them for a lot of reasons.

TFS was a very happy surprise after the initial denial stage lol it forced me to acknowledge so much, and I'm now very glad to know the duffers actually put so much thought and care into his character and that there is still so much about him left to discover!

And don't even get me started on Jcb; that poor man was defending Henry from the very beginning, and I'm sure the play made him feel so vindicated 😅

I wouldn't say I even have any analytical skills, but thank you! I'm not really embarrassed of how I used to see Henry, because, like you said, I was doing my best with the information that we had (with some wilful blindness added to the mix), and I was having fun, in the end it's just a fictional character, you know? It's not that serious, it's not a real life issue, we should be allowed to have fun and be wrong about things, and move on.

but I'm embarrassed over how I behaved toward some of the most dedicated Henry analists. I have apologized and they have forgiven me, but it still bothers me that I did that, I could've handled that so much better

And oh god YES I'm so glad I got a least one or two things right! it saved me from feeling completely humiliated 😅 and ugh, you're almost making me regret deleting some of my posts, but I think I mostly deleted the ones where I was being a mean idiot, hopefully there's still something for you

I'm just not sure what you mean with ship discrepancy. I've never really been much of a shipper, I don't really ship anyone with Henry. I did used to ship hentty in a "well, they are canon" way, but after seeing what some of the people who watched the play said about them...they are cute still, but definitely not a one true love situation, Henry deserved someone who truly loved and stood by him, and Patty apparently wasn't that person at all, but I would still love to see the play for myself to form a better opinion on it too!

And I'm not a creelarke shipper myself, but I do understand the appeal now, and I would support anything that would bring that poor guy some happiness 🥲 so don't worry! I don't really have an issue with any ship or even have a strong opinion on it, just whatever makes our boy happy

AND I fixed it! It was the "hide blog from people without an account" setting, I had no idea it did that; it's disabled now! I'm actually very honored and surprised that you liked my posts enough to do that haha, you're very nice and insightful, I hope you come off anon someday! ❤️

[mybeautifulchristianjourney]

Devotional Hours Within the Bible

by J.R. Miller

The Power of Faith (Matthew 9:18-34)

“A ruler came and knelt before him and said: My daughter has just died. But come and put your hand on her, and she will live.”

Only comparatively few of our Lord’s healings are recorded. He seems never to have refused to heal any who came to Him or were brought to Him. Besides, He healed some for whom no one interceded. Here was a ruler an exceptional case, for the rulers were not His friends. Probably this man’s great distress led him to seek healing for his child even in spite of his dislike of Jesus. The ruler and his prejudice, were lost in the father .

Trouble comes just as inevitably and as resistlessly, to the mansions of the great and rich as to the homes of the lowly and poor. None are exempt. We can build no walls and set up no doors to exclude sickness and death! This is one lesson.

Another lesson, is that when sickness or any other trouble comes to us we ought to send for Christ. We are to send for physicians, too, in sickness. They are God’s ministers of healing. Usually God requires our cooperation in all that He does for us. But we should also send for Christ. He alone has original power to heal. Life is His gift and is under His care. Health is His alone to give. Medicines unblessed by Him give no relief. Only at His bidding can anyone be restored from illness. While we use all the means within our reach we should use them with prayer for Divine blessing on them, and in dependence on Divine power. Whenever anyone is sick in our house we should send for Jesus and put the case in His hands.

Jesus was always eager to help those in trouble. He arose at once at the ruler’s request, and followed him to his home. It seems strange, when we think who the man was, probably unfriendly to Jesus, that He should so quickly rise and follow this ruler. But it was always thus. He did not wait to make inquiry concerning the man, whether he was worthy or not, before going with him. The man that needed Him was the man He wanted. In this alacrity in doing good Jesus was only showing the alertness of Divine love. In heavenly glory now, He is as quick to hear and as prompt to answer our cries as He was that day in His earthly humiliation. He is always at our call. He never has so much to do or so many calls to answer that He cannot attend to our case. Indeed, when we come to Him with any need, He has no other thing to do but attend to us! We should be like our Master in all this. We should be quick to respond to the calls of need and distress about us. We ought to train our hearts to sympathy and thoughtfulness, and our hands to quick, gentle ministry in Christ’s name.

Then came an interruption as the Master was hastening with the ruler to his house. “Just then a woman who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years came up behind him and touched the hem of His garment.” The street was thronged with people waiting for an opportunity to get near to the Healer. The “hem of His garment” is always within reach of earth’s sufferers. He has gone up now on high, out of our sight but His garment floats everywhere. We never can get beyond the sweep of its folds. We can always come near enough to Christ to reach out a trembling finger and touch His garment and find healing!

Of course, we must not make a mistake about this hem. It is not a crucifix, nor is it some relic of a dead saint, nor is it even a bit of the wood of the cross. It is not even the Bible, for touching the Bible will do no one good. Nor is it the Church and its ordinances; for we may belong to the Church and observe its ordinances, and get no benefit to ourselves. To touch the hem of Christ’s garment is to touch Christ Himself. His garment is His life, His love, His Spirit, His grace.

A human physician, if hurrying on such an errand, would probably have refused to listen to any calls for help on the way, as the ruler’s child was actually dead. But Jesus stopped quietly and turned to see the woman who had touched Him. Mark says that He asked, “Who touched My garments?” How did He know that one touch amid all the jostling of the crowd? The multitudes were close about Him, pressing up against Him. Many of them touched Him. The disciples thought it strange that He should ask such a question. The people could not help touching Him. But there was one touch different from all the rest. There was something in it which sent a thrill through Him. There was a heart’s cry in it, a piteous, earnest supplication. It was a touch of faith. It was not like the jostling of the crowd an accidental or unconscious touch, the mere touch of nearness. It was intentional. There was a soul’s cry in it. So, amid all the crude pressure of the multitude, He felt that touch, and turned about to see the one who had touched Him.

Jesus always knows the touch of true faith and prayer among all the touches of this great world. In one sense all men are near to Him, for He is everywhere present. We cannot move without pressing up against Him. But when among all earth’s millions one person intentionally reaches out a hand to feel for Him, to touch Him with a purpose, with a longing or a desire, to seek for some blessing, or to beg some help and He instantly knows the pressure of that touch and turns to answer it. He knows when a hungry heart wants Him no matter how obscure the person, how poor, or how hidden in the crowd.

Notice His graciousness in answering the woman’s prayer. “Jesus turning and seeing her said, Take heart, daughter, your faith has healed you.” This was a bit of Christ’s wayside work. He was hastening with Jarius to his home, to restore his dying child and healed this poor woman on the way. We would call it incidental work, unpurposed, unplanned. The things we set out in the morning to do are not by any means all the things that we do in any well-spent day. If we have the life of Christ in us, everyone that touches us gets some blessing from us. While busy at our work, we speak kindly to those who meet us or who are near us and an influence of warmth, cheer or encouragement, or an inspiration toward better living goes from us to them. We meet one in trouble as we hurry by and stop to give a word of comfort. We hear of a case of distress and we send or carry relief. Thus, if we have the spirit of Christ, our wayside service will be a most valuable and important part of our work in this world.

We do not know how long Jesus was detained in healing and comforting the woman on the way. “Jesus entered the ruler’s house and saw the flute players and the noisy crowd.” The child was dead and they were preparing for the funeral. So it seemed that He had tarried too long along the way. To us it appears, that He ought not to have stopped at all to heal or talk with the woman. She could have waited. But when we read the story through to the end we are glad that He did stop to help the woman. We learn form His delay that Jesus never is in a hurry. He is never so much engrossed in one case of need, that He cannot stop to consider another. He is never so pressed for time, that we have to wait our turn. No matter what He is doing, He will always hear instantly our cry for help.

Another thing we learn from this delay is that Jesus never comes too late; He never waits too long. True, the ruler’s child died while he lingered but this only gave Him an opportunity for a greater miracle. He delayed, that He might do a more glorious work for this family. There is always some good reason for it when Christ seems to delay to answer our prayers or come to our help. He delays, that He may do more for us in the end.

“The girl is not dead but asleep .” This was Christ’s word always about death. He said His friend Lazarus was asleep. He says the same of all His friends. They are not dead. Indeed, they never lived so really, so richly, so fully as they live, when we call them dead! They are away from all the limitations of earthly life, set free from the hampering prison of the flesh, cleansed of all sin, “spirits of just men made perfect.”

Christ changed the whole aspect of death for His people! To them death is but the passage to life rich, blessed, glorious life. Even bodily death is a sleep and sleep is not a terrible experience. It is restful and refreshing, and then we wake again from sleep and live on beyond it. So the body sleeps, and will rise again renewed and wearing immortal beauty. Christ called this child from her sleep very soon ; it will be longer before He will call those whom we lay down in death’s sleep but He will surely wake them in His own time, in the blessed, glorious morning. It is wonderful comfort to us to know that Christ has care of our sleeping dead and has the keys of their graves and can call them when He will.

Another phase of human need is met in the next incident. “Two blind men followed Him.” There are a great many people, who are blind in another way. They can see certain things but certain other things, they cannot see at all. They can see mountains and plains and blue skies, and human faces, and money and real estate, and all earthly things; but they cannot see God, nor heaven, nor the beauty of holiness, nor the inheritance of believers, nor any of the unseen things of blessedness and Divine glory. They can see only material things, which are neither enduring nor eternal; but they cannot see spiritual things, which alone are real. Natural blindness is a sore loss. A blind man misses all the glorious beauty of this world. He cannot see where to go and has to be led by the hand. But spiritual blindness is an infinitely more sore loss. Christ alone could give sight to the blind. He opened eyes, that had always been closed. He alone can open the eyes of the spiritually blind. If we cannot see spiritual things, we should call upon Christ to have mercy upon us.

Always faith was required. “Do you believe that I am able to do this?” The men must have faith, before Jesus would heal them. When we come to Him asking Him to do anything for us, He wants to know if we believe that He is able to do it. Once a father came to Him for his demon possessed son, and his prayer was, “If You can do anything, have compassion on us, and help us.” But the “if” marred the request the father was not sure that Jesus could cure his son, and Jesus sent him back to get a better faith. “If you can!” He answered. “All things are possible to him that believes .” As soon as the man could say, “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!” Jesus cured the boy (Mark 9:22-24). May it be that the reason why many of our prayers are not answered, is because we do not believe that Christ is able to do what we ask of Him? If we can believe He can give what we ask. If we cannot believe He will not do anything for us.

[johannestevans]

Update 14/03/2023

Good evening!

You can get these updates directly to your inbox here.

That glorious time of the year is so very nearly upon us, and with that in mind, the prompts for this year's Monstrous May have now been released!

I started running Monstrous May in 2021, so this is my third year putting a prompt list together with a monstrous prompt for every day of the month of May! There's a bit more focus on monsterfuckery this year than previous years, and I'm excited to see what comes from the prompts. :)

Here's the prompt post on Tumblr.

If you're planning on running any events or tie-in things alongside Monstrous May, please reach out and let me know via my Tumblr asks or via email, so I can promo you and share your schedule!

During the month of May I always scroll through the tags and share a lot of the artwork, but for events and tie-in things I'm more than happy to promo them in advance, such as through these regular updates, as well as sharing them directly.

Some media recs for this week:

Cocaine Bear (2023, dir. Elizabeth Banks) - Cocaine Bear is a feminist blockbuster, it is CAMP, it is perfection. Is Cocaine Bear a girlboss? Yes. Of course she is. How could you even ask that question? This movie has everything: a big fucking bear, 80s camp gay guys, rainbow gym bags, character actress Margo Martindale, gratutious gore, a big fucking bear's actual vulva directly to a man's face, that hot white dude with the moustache that does the customer service suffering TikToks, a cute little puppy with a pink bow, did I mention the big fucking bear? Did I mention that the bear is on a fuckton of cocaine, did I mention that she is a working mother and that her cubs are also on cocaine, did I mention that these two (human) thirteen year olds also literally do cocaine by the teaspoon and I've never envied a fictional character more? Please watch Cocaine Bear. It's the only movie that's ever mattered.

Final Fantasy XII (OG release 2006) - I've just started replaying FFXII to wash the terrible taste of God of War: Ragnarok (2022) out of my mouth, because GOW pissed me off with how poor its writing was toward the end, and I want to put myself back into a videogame that makes me love videogames rather than hate them.

I'm hoping to do some more writing about FFXII in the next few weeks because I love it to pieces and I've played it through time after time, played hundreds of hours - it's my favourite of the Final Fantasy narratives, and while I do have a lot of criticism of it, it just really delves into identity around nation and culture and war and imperialism - as well as the ethics around nuclear weapons and other weapons of mass destruction - that I just fucking love. If you haven't played it before, I totally recommend it!

I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy (2022) - I finished this earlier today, and I wanted to particularly recommend the audiobook, which is very well-written by the author. This book is super heavy hitting, delves a lot into emotional abuse and religious trauma, eating disorders, and a lot of the lack of agency McCurdy had around her life as a child actress and her life in general. If you can handle the subject matter, I do absolutely recommend it as a read.

New Works Published

Erotic Short: Unethical Experimentation

An apothecary captures a fairy to... make use of.

2.3k. Rated E, cis M/trans M. Silly and utterly horrible porn - a fairy is captured and used as a fucksleeve by an apothecary! He absolutely loves it!

Featuring size difference with macro/micro, implied body transformation, stretchy skin, belly bulging, objectification, overstimulation, and predicament bondage.

On Medium / / On Patreon

Mini Essay: Do I have to be masculine to be a top?

A few thousand words digging into conflation of gender identities with sexual positioning and actions, going through the steps of unpacking and untangling those gendered rules and conventions within one's own head and one's own biases.

On Tumblr / / On Medium

[virgeauxsun]

hello gamers. im here to participate in a silly little tag meme, and my vanity demands that i take any opportunity to talk about myself. if you suffer similarly, consider yourself "tagged." (ty for the tag @hiereiai <3 )

1. Favorite candy? reeesies mmmmmmmmmmmmmm

2. Favorite song? pork soda by glass animals

3. Favorite food? sushi mmmmmmmmmm

4. Favorite drink? water with cucumbers in it :)

5. Favorite band? Artist? i love u oingo boingo i love you glass animals i love you lady gaga

6. Favorite movie? repo!

7. Favorite book? night circus by erin morgenstern

8. Favorite restaurant? the little hibachi place by my house.

9. Favorite person? it would be in poor taste for me to say this

10. Favorite hair color? Eye color? red, brown

11. Favorite website? i am a tumblrina to my core

12. Favorite board game? Video game? stratego, vampire the masquerade bloodlines

13. Favorite sport to play? To watch? cheerleading, figure skating

14. Favorite school subject? i will always take a literature class 15. Favorite state? City? these questions are kind of silly

16. Favorite number? letter? 21, X

17. Favorite animal? snake!

18. Favorite TV show? nbc hannibal rewired me

19. Favorite quote? do you really want an out of context quote where i pretend to be smart. is that really what you want to hear.

20. Favorite nickname? dove :)

21. Favorite store? what are we shopping for? im materialistic to the point of detriment this is like asking me a favorite child

22. Favorite color? greem

23. Favorite article of clothing? jackets

24. Favorite type of perfume or cologne? i wear indigo by nest

25. Favorite memory from this year? i went to the beach with someone i love in june

26. Favorite age? i will forever be chasing the excitement of being freshly 18.

27. Favorite trait? this is so vague????? what do you Mean bro

28. Favorite music video?

29. Favorite time of day? dawn

30. Favorite Tumblr? mine <3

31. Favorite phone brand? i miss the blackberry era

32. Favorite shoe brand? docs

33. Favorite fashion style? romantic goth

34. Favorite pattern? ?????

35. Favorite gift? ?!?!?!?!?!?

36. Favorite humor? sanguine <3

37. Favorite chip brand? Flavor? tostitos hint of lime

38. Favorite band to see live? dismantle the ticketmaster inudstrial complex and then get back to me with this question

39. Favorite teacher ? this is a loaded question- ive wanted to know like half of my professors biblically

40. Favorite celebrity? too much of a hipster for that one sorry

41. Favorite news station? destiel confession posts

42. Favorite DIY? there's something so intimate about letting a friend pierce you

43. Favorite instrument? cello babygirl i miss playing you so bad

44. Favorite genre of music? industrial metal

45. Favorite season? summer makes me feel like a person

46. Favorite experience?

47. Favorite shirt? i feel so silly describing this. its this little corset top with ribbon for straps. i sometimes feel like a monster in my own body and this shirt manages to make me feel delicate.

48. Favorite bottoms? everyone in my group chat <3

49. Favorite interpretation of love? its always lovely to be cooked for/cook for someone...

50. Favorite existential thought? if i am thinking about existance i am probably not having a good time. i do not have a favorite.

51. Favorite scent? pussy <3

52. Favorite human interaction? girl........ these questions........

53. Favorite music genre? didnt you ask this already?? its still industrial metal.

54. Favorite compliment? ive been told im a charmer.

55. Favorite insult? ive been told im a people pleaser.

56. Favorite phone app? how many times must i remind you that i am a tumblrina

57. Favorite type of phone? whats up with these repeat questions. take me back to the blackberry era

58. Favorite reading position? laying in bed. my back b hortin

59. Favorite sex position? i dont think it has a name and i will not humiliate myself with a description

60. Favorite pair of shoes? my docs :)

61. Favorite animal? snake. again

62. Favorite body feature (on yourself)? tits r the only thing i have goin for me babe

63. Favorite body feature (on others)? faces as a whole. like how the features come together. i love you portraits i love you faces

64. Favorite YouTube video? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9oTZXwqQaDg&list=PLS1X-F1acPd-RmadUdR3L-TLB5Z1z03YW&index=10

65. Favorite YouTuber? jacob geller!

66. Favorite meme? :/

67. Favorite Tumblr post? i cant find the link but "thats pussy babe!"

68. Favorite typeface? graphic design is not my passion

69. Favorite selfie? take me to dinner first tumblr ask meme dear god

70. Favorite holiday? new years. i like fresh starts

71. Favorite computer brand? not apple thats for fucking sure

72. Favorite lyrics? WALK THE GAUNTLETT TOE THE LINE// HELL HATH NO FURY LIKE MY KIND // MURDERER MADNESS DEATH DIVINE // SEEK MY WRATH AND YE SHALL FIND (bumaye kmfdm)

73. Favorite moment? what are these questions babygirl.

74. Favorite advice? communicate or end it

75. Favorite message you’ve ever received? "looking at your cosplays makes me need to eat kellogg's cereal"

76. Favorite message you’ve ever sent? im vain but im not this vain

77. Favorite outfit? junko enoshima cosplay.

78. Favorite aesthetic? unfortunately i do like vaporwave

79. Favorite musical instrument? cello we have been over this

80. Favorite car brand? the ones that go vroom

81. Favorite fandom? im not picking my poison

82. Favorite emoji? im on my computer but the two little hearts. its like im sending a stream of affection

83. Favorite hobby? i like to interior decorate

84. Favorite TV show character? father paul from midnight mass

85. Favorite book character? huh. most of the books ive read are like. more focused on the worldbuilding. i cant answer this

86. Favorite movie that’s coming out? do i look like i keep up with current movies

87. Favorite designer brand? i dont have one

88. Favorite dessert? cheemsecake :)

89. Favorite kink? dm me and find out <3

90. Favorite dance move? isnt dancing about how the moves come together to create something. all dance moves look silly in isolation

91. Favorite diet? girl fuck you

92. Favorite rap verse? 3 bears and 10000 rats (u aint ever get ur housing back)

93. Favorite drug? do i look like i do drugs

94. Favorite country? City? one day i will vacation to berlin

95. Favorite feeling? sitting in my bed warm and cozyyyyy

96. Favorite picture on the Internet?

97. Favorite phone and/or computer background? luca balsa image. my babiest girl

98. Favorite weather? sunny and boiling hot. like over 100 degrees hot.

99. Favorite mode of transportation? i love trains

100. Favorite console? i still use my wii from 2007. my mario kart machine

[lara-kaminari]

Another person in the room // Ominis Gaunt x F!Reader

Summary: Things weren't supposed to turn out like this, this situation doesn't even make sense, what would Ominis gain from this, why involve Sebastian?

Warnings: Light Angst, +18, explicit content. Ominis Gaunt x F!Reader, Sebastian Sallow x F!Reader, one-shot

A/N: Nope, English is not my first language.

MC looked at the shredded parchment on top of the desk. The paper was crumpled and torn from the number of times she'd mishandled it to get rid of the evidence without employing her wand since pulling it out in the middle of class would be too conspicuous. Perhaps she could have solved that inconvenience in another way if it weren't for the fact that it was a surprise: The message appeared in the pocket of her robe, just as she was reaching for a mint to help her focus on the boring History class.

Ominis wanted to meet her again in the prefects' bathroom tonight after curfew.

MC had started talking to him earlier in the year, it was inevitable. The close friendship between the blond boy and Sebastian forced them into a relationship thanks to the new circumstances. The two were always together in the library and eventually started to get along. Ominis was a quiet and reserved student. She excelled in Charms, a subject MC often frowned upon. Ominis had offered to tutor him and it was there, in the library, that they shared a more personal talk.

Ominis was very close to Sebastian, he probably had more right than MC regarding what was best for him. However, she... Well, it wasn't just friendship that controlled MC's actions. Sebastian was special.

Yes, a special boy who was pursued by almost the entire student body of the school.

She was special too, or at least special enough that a little "slip up" had allowed her to spend a night together with who she considered to be a mere high school romance. There wasn't much romance or affection in the following encounters, though neither was she the victim of mistreatment or attitude changes. Sebastian is Sebastian. He wanted to enjoy himself and thought his friend was a good choice for that because, and in her words, she said, "I feel more confident doing it with you, we know this has no future so there's no pressure."

MC was suffering because there are supposed to be more important issues to focus on other than love turmoil that will get her nowhere. She kept telling herself how pathetic it is to wander the halls lamenting over a guy who she then invites to Hogsmade for a butterbeer because, "That's what friends do."

It was in one of those encounters, just as Sebastian was walking away to talk to a girl who caught his attention in the distance, that Ominis appeared behind MC.

—You smell like salt. —He said, suddenly.

—What?

—You smell like salt, you cry too much.

—What the hell are you saying? —MC remembers touching his face subconsciously, as if she was afraid that the ghost of his crying was really there.

—If you keep this up then Sebastian will soon realize.

—I don't know what you're talking about, but I recommend you stay away from what doesn't concern you.

—It's sad. —Ominis said, ignoring the girl. —It must be stressful for you, I know Sebastian and the things he does? It must be depressing for you to end your stay at school having saved yourself for a man who only uses you when....

—Ominis!

—Did I go too far?

—You are not the one to talk about my personal relationships; it seems to me that all this time I have been kind and respectful to you so I will ask you not to cross a boundary of the poor trust we have built, it doesn't suit you.

—Why doesn't it suit me? —Ominis asked. —I'm just trying to...

—Do you think I'll listen to the babblings of a blind, virgin child?  

Ominis smiled, it seemed to have been funny to hear the girl talk to him like that.

—Do you think I'm a virgin?

—I know you are.

—Why don't you find out? I mean, after all you have that choice or wait for Sebastian to notice your existence? He's still not coming back, is he?

In that Ominis wasn't wrong, Sebastian seemed to have forgotten about MC a long time ago.

After that day, the relationship between Ominis and MC was now complicated. MC couldn't decide where she stood with him. She enjoyed meeting with Ominis. He was a strong and complete lover. Every encounter always left MC satiated and wanting more. She had strange feelings for Ominis, but she didn't love him.

And he certainly didn't love her. Ominis had a... particular taste when it came to sex. In fact, if MC had to label the boy's inclinations, he'd say he was pretty kinky. Yes, that described Ominis perfectly. Ominis, the silent, perverted Slytherin.

MC looked across the Great Dining Hall at dinner time. As he looked at the Slytherin table, a pair of milky eyes lifted from their lowered position and it seemed as if he was looking directly at her. He smiled as if sensing her, causing her to look away and blush.

—Are you all right, MC? —Sebastian asked, noticing the strange expression on her face.

—Yes, everything's fine.

He arched an eyebrow before walking over to her table.

MC bit her lip. She would definitely look for Ominis later that night. She couldn't say no. She didn't want to say no. When she looked over to the Slytherin table, she saw that Ominis was talking to Sebastian.

Now she just needed to wait until the evening.

Fortunately, the hours passed quickly and soon curfew arrived. MC had just come out of hiding and planted an alibi, so he quickly made his way to the prefect's bathroom. Her heart was pounding as she did so. She was always nervous about getting caught. However, she could make up some excuse as to why she had gotten up late.

Besides, getting caught was part of the fun, wasn't it? The threat of someone catching them in the act added to the excitement. Her body buzzed with anticipation. She knew Ominis loved having sex in public spaces. Once, the two of them played under the Quidditch bleachers while a match was going on. One of the best orgasms of her life.

She whispered the password and then went into the bathroom. MC took a few steps before someone tapped her on the shoulder.

—Hello.

—Hello, Ominis. —She turned around and wrapped her arms around his waist. She noticed that his milky eyes looked more beautiful than usual. It was almost magical. —How was your day?

Ominis shrugged.  

—The same as usual. —He pulled her to him, so that she was now pressed against his body. —It's about to get a lot better. —Ominis lowered his head and kissed her gently. —I've missed you.

She blushed.  

—I've missed you too.

Ominis smiled. He took her hand and pulled her toward the bathroom. The tub was already full and frothy bubbles covered the top. MC's sense of smell allowed her to distinguish that the bubbles smelled of lavender and muskmelon. Ominis loved those scents.

—Get undressed. —Ominis ordered, his eyes darkening with desire. Now they were standing near the edge of the bath.

MC swallowed hard. Slowly, she pulled her sweater up over her head. Then she unbuttoned her blouse, not breaking eye contact with Ominis throughout the process. Once she was alone in her bra, she unbuttoned her skirt and let it fall to the floor. She took off her shoes and pulled down her stockings. After removing them, she stood in front of him in her bra and panties.

Ominis' fingers ran over her body delicately, caressing the bare skin with his fingertips until he touched the fabric that remained undisturbed.  

—MC... —He said slowly, sending shivers up and down her back. —I thought I told you to get undressed.

She bit her lip. Reaching behind, she unclasped her bra and slid the straps off her shoulders. After placing her bra with the rest of her clothes, she slowly removed her panties. Now she stood in front of Ominis completely naked, the cold air hardening her nipples.

The door was open. MC knew that, at any possible moment, someone could walk in and see them. Her heart was pounding in her chest, adding to the mix of emotions she was feeling; excitement, nervousness, desire.

—Get in the tub. —Ominis ordered.

MC quickly did as he told her. Ominis liked to be in total control, which she didn't mind. She liked to do what Ominis told her...it always put her in the mood.

Slipping into the bathroom, she sighed into the warm water.  

—Are you coming in? —She asked her companion.

—Of course. —He said, rolling his eyes. Using his wand, he removed his school robes. —Why wouldn't I come in?

MC shrugged.

—I love fucking you in the bathroom. —Ominis said, his voice husky as he pulled her closer to him. Their naked bodies touched causing each of them to let out a small sigh of satisfaction. —There's something about you and water that makes me hard.

She let out a low chuckle, touching the boy's erection with confidence. His cock was really hard.

—Do you want me, MC?

—Yes. —She answered honestly. MC looked at him with desire in her eyes. —Touch me, please.

Ominis smiled as he slid his hand between her legs. He quickly caressed her clit, enjoying the soft moans she was making.

—Ominis. —she moaned.

Ominis greedily captured her lips in a kiss. He continued to caress her, knowing she was more than ready for him.

When their tongues entangled, she moaned. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him to her. Her hand ended up crushed between them, but MC didn't care. She rocked her center against his straining erection and let out a small choked cry. They both pulled apart.

—Fuck me, MC.  —Ominis ordered breathlessly. —I need you now.

MC bent down as she brought one leg up against her hip and grabbed Ominis cock. She guide him to her entrance and let out a moan as he positioned himself fully inside her. Moving her hands around his neck, she pushed against him.

Ominis grunted and began to thrust inside her. He gripped the edge of the tub in an attempt to keep his balance.  

—Wrap your legs around my hips.

She did so, sighing at the new position.

—Merlin, Ominis.....

He smiled.  

—You like that, don't you?

—Of course. —She answered, breathless.

Ominis fucked her slowly, penetrating her with purposeful movements. His eyes watched the pleasure on her face as she moaned and groaned.

Suddenly, the prefect's bathroom door opened.

MC and Ominis stood still. Footsteps were heard. The person walked towards the shower.

—Ominis. —MC hissed. Water splashed, causing whoever was walking to stop.

—Who's in there? —a voice shouted.

Ominis smiled. He recognized his best friend's voice.  

—It's just me, Sebastian.

—Is it okay if I take a shower? —Sebastian asked.

—Of course. —Ominis answered, with a smile still on his face. —I'm enjoying my bath.

—Well, go on then. —Said Sebastian, with a hint of humor in his voice.

MC let out a sigh of relief when she heard the shower water turn on.  

—Did he see us? —She whispered.

—You tell me. —Ominis said.

—That side of the bathroom is dark.

—Sounds like we're safe.

—I'd better go while he's distracted. —MC muttered. —I don't want him to catch me.

—Don't talk nonsense. —hissed Ominis. —We'll be done when you and I are completely fucked.

—But-

He shushed her with a passionate kiss. Ominis pushed inside her roughly, enjoying the way she bit down hard on his lower lip. He turned and heard her stifled moan. He smiled, knowing he was hitting that sweet spot deep inside her.

MC moaned and gasped, trying to keep quiet. She didn't want Sebastian to hear them. However, Ominis was fucking her too well and she simply couldn't help it. She gasped as she felt her inner walls flutter around his length. She dug her nails into his shoulder as his orgasm slammed into her. Each deep thrust made his pelvis graze her clit. It was almost too much for MC to take.

Ominis felt her contract in ecstasy. She was beautiful. He always thought MC was beautiful, but in moments like these, she was beautiful. There was nothing more precious in this world than her.

—Do you want him to listen to you? —Ominis joked. —Do you want Sebastian to know what he's missing? Do you want to tell him that you never needed him and that you pretended to be a good friend while you fucked his best friend in secret?

—Ominis, stop it...

—He's here, why don't you just let yourself listen?

A well-crafted move forced MC to be loud, he too cum with a choked cry, crumbling as her name left his lips repeatedly. Pleasure rippled through his entire body, leaving him breathless.

They both gasped, each trying to breathe in as much air as possible to catch their breath.

MC again smelled of salt and no longer cared to hide, she had been discovered anyway. She ran out, soaked from head to toe, covering herself only with her tunic and without looking back. Ominis didn't know what to say, she wasn't thinking either.

—Ominis, what have you done?

Right, there was another person there.

[supernaturallyginger]

Its the middle of the night but I got some really PRIME angst ideas.

So Sanji's currently goin through the ringer so I thought up a perfect way to put UNAEK through the ringer now. Gotta torture the innocent ones too, ya know.

So a concept for the future would be: What if Unaek's parents get in contact with Judge for an attempt at forcing Unaek to go through genetic experimentation? 👀 They always wanted Unaek to be a soldier like Judge wanted Sanji to be... It could be horribly tragic for Unaek to suddenly hit the news after her engagement, causing her parents to strike and try to force this on her 👀

Sanji will unfortunately also have to suffer for this, but they'd get to meet each others parents tormentors and meanwhile Unaek learns she's got siblings she never knew about who hate her dad as much as she does.

But I'm just picturing poor Unaek being put through painful experiments trying to get her to lose her humanity and kindness and she just keeps resisting it more and more because she doesn't want to lose Sanji 😭😭 Every time the pain gets worse she thinks of him to get through it 😭😭😭

oh my god 😭😭 will someone please give this couple a break?! Judge is unfortunately the perfect person for Unaek's parents to contact if they want to experiment and create a child solider. And what better subjects than their "useless" children.

Luffy will not stand for that! If given Unaek's word, he'll rush in head first and knock her parents out. There's no way he'll let Unaek and Sanji face their abusers if they don't want to

[bluerockcandy]

On the Subject of Hobbies———

(Or perhaps: A Son who Loves His Mother)

It was both, at once, a luxury and a necessity

Growing up a mother meant he did not receive the benefits of a state-funded childhood. He had a parent, yes, but that was it. A single mother with little education and little talent meant poor job prospects. She worked two jobs to cover expenses: rent, utilities, tax, food, clothing, toiletries, etc. At the end, there truly wasn’t much despite the hours of hard work. Clothes were always second hand, which never bothered him, though it probably should have. But second hand clothes meant they were old, worn, fragile. They made stuff last (they made everything last). Hence, his hobbies.

It hadn’t been much of a hobby, at first, but there was a certain kind of pessimistic optimism one had to keep when everything was bad. There was only up to go, right? Eh, maybe not, but it wouldn’t be getting worse and that was enough.

It had started out as mending. There was no money for anything new, or rather old, and there was no use for the scraps that had finally been put to rest. Combined with the tears and holes, well, it was only logical to use those scraps to patch up the current clothes.

He started with blankets. Despite the muggy heat of Konoha and the Land of Fire as a whole, in the winter months and nighttime, it could get surprisingly cold. It was better than trying it out on his clothes and give people a reason to notice him and start problems. So, he patched up the holes in the blankets and reinforced the worn edges, puffing up the flat cotton with some genuinely hideous scraps. It was, admittedly, a relief to his child self to be able to do this. To contribute, to ease his mother’s burdens, to solve something. His mother had never expected a child and could not bear to give it up. It had left her floundering. For Mitsuo, who suffered from a restlessness at night (a stark contrast to his mother whom tiredly collapsed into bed at night and was asleep within the minute), it was a relief to hear his mother’s breaths slow and soften without a rattle or wheeze or a quiet chattering of teeth and constant rustling of shivers. It felt good. It was an overwhelming relief that had him pressing his face as far into his pillow as he could, his own breath shaky and wet spots dampening the fabric.

He then moved on to smaller, more hidden articles of clothing, their socks and underwear. It wouldn’t be a big issue if the amateur repairs were ugly and it felt better when their toes weren’t poking out.

His mother hadn’t noticed the blankets at first, but with freshly mended socks, she seemed to noticed his small, yet gargantuan efforts. She smiled a small, soft small, as was her nature, and stroked his hair, staring at his face sadly before planting a soft, but ever so tender kiss upon his forehead. (My love, she had called him, my darling, mommy loves you. My baby, my heart of hearts, you are loved.)

He soon became confident enough to mend their clothes, enough to make the patches look purposeful, beyond the practicality of closing holds and showing a more artful application. It was at this point that it became a hobby. His mother, he had long since decided, was more than deserving of decoration, of being adorned with all that he could give her. What he had wasn’t much, but he had his hands and his skills, and so he set to work.

His mother wasn’t a stunning beauty and she wasn’t ugly. She may have been a bit plain, if on the prettier side, but that wasn’t something Mitsuo really cared about. He weighed her worth against her heart and decided she could never be found wanting. He worked in his spare time to carefully sew and embroider and knit an assortment of things for his mother. Despite sore and bleeding hands that sometimes ached something fierce, he created something with these fabrics. A silent, but obvious token of his affection, his love.

It was, for him, an outlet of feelings he never felt he could verbally express. And so he loved it. He continued to make increasingly more elaborate and technically difficult pieces, for his mother, until her quiet passing, and, later, his teammates whom he reluctantly become attached to.

[shadow13dickpistons]

Some Jumbled Thoughts on Self-Inserts and Childhood Abuse

Over twenty years ago, in the very early days of my fanfic career, I had a self-insert, the only true one I ever had. A lot of early original characters shared my first name, because I wasn't that creative and happened to like it, but I wouldn't call those true self-inserts. Some of them were ideas of a future I might like to have, but they didn't reflect my age or the life I was escaping from in my writing.

But one did. I won't go into intimate detail, but my one little self-insert was the long-lost daughter of a particular superhero, who, upon reuniting, worked through feelings of abandonment, and then became her own vigilante, The Shadow (and the source of my username, I believe, though maybe that came first, I honestly can't remember). I wasn't particularly into superheroes, and I'm still not, but happened to have a dream with this subject, and inspiration struck. (Content warning ahead: some non-graphic details of my abuse.)

I stopped writing shortly after being told what a Mary Sue she was, but it wasn't as if most fics didn't get started and subsequently abandoned (in some ways, little has changed). But oh, the elaborate, emphatic life she lived inside my heart for years, until shame made me erase her from my mind as much as possible. It wasn't just having had a self-insert who was also a Mary Sue. There were interpersonal reasons.

I wrote a lot in my childhood diary about how much I wanted to escape my life, and particularly my father. We had been always very close, and achieving this closeness again I think was the biggest source of shame for me. I wanted to forget I had tried to replace him in my fantasies.

I had a gobsmack moment last night, though, relieving old thoughts. I fell into a hole recently, watching some shows that were a mainstay of my early adolescence, and I started to be taken back to that time. It struck me just how understandable that child's feelings were. It was the high water mark of abuse in my life. I was verbally and mentally abused by my sixth grade teacher. My parents were aware of this. In fact, it was actually a personal dislike of my mother, an employee of the school, that was the motive behind this woman's attacks towards me. Mom felt like she couldn't intervene, since she was an employee, something she realized later was a failure on her part.

That only primed me for what was to come. Now used to being singled out and made to suffer, I became the target for not just verbal and mental punishments, but physical abuse from a friend at the time. I'd be locked into closets. Duct taped to chairs. Held underwater, or fingers purposely injured. Apparently Mom knew about this, too. I tried to open up to her, in college, about the abuse I suffered, only to be told that I had let her know when it was going on at the time. Why she didn't intervene, I don't know.

But Mom's poor mental and physical health often made my father and I victims of her tempers, too, so maybe she couldn't have protected me in any case. That does lead to the next question, where was my father in all this?

I can only speculate why he failed to act. Preoccupation with physical ailments, one of which led to surgery. He was also vice president of the union at the time, and I think preoccupied with that over parenting me. When he was present, his temper was not steady. Rather than exploring why his daughter might suddenly be doing poorly in school for the first time in her life, he often acted in ways that were at best poor in judgment, at worst, continuations of my abuse. That one I won't elaborate on.

The teacher he knew, I can only speculate why he didn't intervene. The friend, he didn't, I found out much later. Why Mom didn't share that, I can't guess. As for his poor treatment of me...I've brought it up. He doesn't remember it. That's lucky for him, I guess.

I've had to spend a lot of time dealing with my anger that when I most needed my parents, they completely failed me. And for the first time in my life, I understood how that girl felt, and why she wanted that new father (mothers did not enter into it, perhaps because it's usually widowed fathers featured in media). In that relationship, the girl was not berated, but understood. She was protected, not lifted up by her shirt collars and yelled at. She could be safely vulnerable, but also in the guise of her alter ego, she was capable of protecting herself, as well as others. Dear God, she deserved so much understanding.

If I picked up those long-forgotten threads and tried to weave a new narrative, it wouldn't be the same. It's not something I would publish, as even at the time, it wasn't particularly good storytelling. And it's not that I don't understand the side of those who accuse poor form from self-inserts and "Mary Sues." I've read plenty of fics that weren't great storytelling, and that's certainly what I'm after as a reader.

But if you have someone in your soul who needs to speak to you? Let them out anyway. I wouldn't necessarily recommend publication, because I don't think that's safe. But let them out, and if you have someone to share them with - do.