#suicide mention for ts

[neednothavehappenedtobetrue]

What’s something you learned this year?

If you could send a message to yourself back on the first day of the year, what would it be?

<3 <3 <3

Oh, these are not easy ones!

Something I learned: I am learning what it's like to live in the absence of suicidal despair? a lot of time it's great, but sometimes it's scary because if you want to live you have to, like, do things and plan for the future and find ways to exist in the world? if you do not think you are going to ever turn (whatever the next milestone age to your age is), you kind of don't need a long-term strategy? if you are just constantly white-knuckling onto survival you don't need to look at what thriving would look like and what scary things you would have to do to get there. sorry if this was a bummer answer!

Message: the sooner you stop trying to turn your anger inward and start thinking about what the fuck else you can do with it, the sooner we might get somewhere. I don't know where that is yet, but "turn it inside yourself" fully does not work, do not spend additional months trying to do this. again, kind of a bummer answer!

[ofyorkshire]

context (i'm gonna cry!)

*cups Bj's face* "Promise." :) - @heretoboogie

          Even now there are days when a gentle touch made BJ tense; the body always remembered pain more clearly than pleasure. But Campbell was a soft hand and a warm voice, and BJ relaxed despite himself and the tears wetting his lashes.

            Promise, Cam said. Promise, there'll be days where they'll all laugh again 'til their faces hurt and their sides split with the joys of being alive.

          It was hard to believe that when most days BJ wasn't sure he even wanted to be alive. If he got better here, in hospital, what would be the point? What waited for him outside those doors? Life on the street again? Dodging cops and spending nights in strange men's arms? Men who would not hold BJ's face so gently, or look at him with such kindness. They would see his tears and their first thought wouldn't be what's wrong?, but how pretty. BJ couldn't imagine a life out there any more than he could within these walls.

          ...And yet when Campbell promised, BJ could almost believe him. That was the magic, it seemed, of Campbell Bain. Between the great sweeping crashes that left the poor boy in the arms of nurses, there were great, brilliant flashes of hope so intensely genuine that it could pierce through even the darkest of Barry James' doubts. You're a naive bastard, BJ often thought about Cam. But you're a better fellow for it.

          Sometimes Campbell reminded him of Barry Gannon. Barry had been a wildly paranoid, melancholy man, and in that way, he and Campbell were nothing alike at all. But the both saw BJ, that was the important part. He was a whole person to them, with thoughts and feelings and fears and dreams. He held value.

          So when BJ leaned in, he would later regret that he hadn't entirely been thinking of Campbell Bain, but Mr. Gannon, with alcohol on his breath and newspaper ink on his fingertips. And when BJ's lips brushed the corner of Cam's, he'd not been thinking about boundaries, or whether or not Cam would like him still if he knew what Barry James was, he'd only been thinking... You are kind.

[purewhitedevil]

random starter - @caliburn​ 

Perhaps one of these hole-things did not end on where it should be than being outside of the fields, in a village but something worse. They were ended up inside a goblin-nested elven fortress, surrounded by several corpses which were all female. One who was like, shoved up entrails like a pig, other was burned alive and another were a pincushion which explains the arrow landings and the other one recently via suicide.

What an ironic setback. Either these must be the locals from a ward that got here or merely villagers, nobody knows.

“Talk about bad landing.” Albedo waggled her head off to see that it was only lit up because of the corpse-filled torch around their east. She wakes up the female white-gowned servant next to her.

“Wake up. We need to get out of this place before...” What do you know, goblins just got back and they seemed not to be friendly but vicious with those grins on their faces.

3F was drawn, she’s ready to behead goblins and out of this place.

[immortalled]

people can obv have their own headcanons and enjoy fiction however they like, but, man, i can never quite vibe with the headcanons that suggest nathan has immortality because he’s been suicidal. it’s good for angsty fic, but... ah, man, man, man. i just. i think nathan really does love life too much for that.

do i think he’s happy most of the time? tbh no. he’s regularly insecure, and he gets angry and sad when he allows himself to think too much about his life (about his parents, about being homeless, about jamie, about rarely being able to keep friends, about relationships, about his future, etc. etc.) but he’s also just... not someone who allows himself to think about those things for too long, you know? of course avoidance has its own problems, and leads to emotional molotoving, which certainly has some bad fallout, but. mm.

nathan... nathan kind of revels in existing. even when it’s bad, and he’s upset. at least, that’s the feeling i get when i think of his famous rooftop monologue. there is a certain degree of enjoyment in chaos, the so-called “fuck ups”, and the unpredictable absurdity of living.

i like to think that’s why nathan was gifted immortality. he lives so fast, and so loud, and so big that the universe can’t possibly allow him to stay dead. it wouldn’t be natural.

[babysgarage]

it's wild living thru the tumblr culture shift of 'never, under any circumstances, tell someone to kill themselves, just don't ever fucking do it.' to 'don't ever make jokes about your own suicide idk if that's how you vent or cope it's unhealthy for you and it might trigger someone else' to 'kill yourself is the ultimate universal humorous response to any situation'

[flyatahighergame-arch]

"penny for your thoughts" - favorite characters! what makes you pick a favorite character? - @monmuses​ 

   Self-projection.  If, I a suicidal, mentally-ill, chronically in pain bitch who hates myself more than anything and anybody else in this world relate to this character they’re automatically favourite. Yuugi for example was bullied horribly most of his life for various reasons and ended up an insecure piece of shit who couldn’t see his own self-worth. I related to that and it makes me go If he can become better, why can’t I? So I need to relate and be able to connect to them somehow. 

[oldcoyote]

oh im glad i sent it! i was 50/50 on but decided it hopefully couldnt hurt.

i used it a lot for like… ‘i wanna die’ thoughts too which has at least decreased the frequency - ‘i wanna die - no you dont you just need to sleep/cuddle/take painkillers’ seemed to work surprisingly well lol.

all the best! ive been lurking since the Other blog and i really enjoy your presence on my dash

i'm very glad you did! i love getting messages too, so always feel free to chime in. having a different perspective is so useful, even if it doesn't always end up working for me personally, i'm willing to try everything that i haven't thought of yet because eventually something has to be the thing that works, if that makes sense?

i'm so glad the frequency of those intrusive thoughts is going down for you and this technique is helping! i have a good feeling about trying it out for me, too, because it not only halts that flow of negative self-talk but puts me in control

all the best to you as well, love! i'm so glad to still have you around after all this time, it's so wonderful to know there are still folks who enjoy my presence here <3

[delimeful]

*points at Janus and Remus in "You Can't Go Back", stuck in a terrible situation together with a future ship-full of corpses* Oh, these two are gonna be great friends!

stranger: so how did you two meet?

janus: tried to use him to commit murder-suicide

stranger:

janus: didn't work

remus: and now he's stuck with me :D

[randomnerd737]

Remus: remember kids! don't commit suicide!

Remus: commit homicide! its a lot more fun and you can do it twice

Janus: Remus no

[advertisesouls]

[ @praeteritus-memories || plotted starter! ]

They say that soulmates can sense when their other half is no longer a part of this world.

Perhaps that's why, as she was preparing yet another delicious meal for them (with a special portion of their latest victim mixed in for good measure), all she could feel is a suffocating grip around her heart that causes the plate in her hand to drop and shatter to the floor beneath her and her knees to give out from underneath her. Dread shortly sets in as well, wrapping around her tightly like an unwelcome embrace from her worst enemy. This is something that she hasn't experienced at all, and for all of these emotions to be surging forth at once is completely overwhelming, almost to the point where she can barely even think.

No, this couldn't be it, could it—? Had their luck finally run out...?

What other explanation could there possibly be, though? Alastor hadn't returned home when he said he would, and while she assumed he'd be home soon, it's never been like this.

Hesitantly, and uncaring for the ceramic shards, she crawled over to the nearest window just to glimpse out of it. In the distance, she could see flashes of light peek out from the trees along with the sounds of dogs barking in the distance.

Fuck. Fuckfuckfuck—

Scrambling back up to her feet, she dashes over to Alastor's gun cabinet to retrieve a shotgun and—

The last thing she remembers is after telling Alastor that she loved him that she'd see his murderers in Hell, then she pulled the trigger, and...

And then there was nothing for a long time. Had she somehow entered the cycle of reincarnation, even with her list of horrific deeds behind her? (That was something she would laugh at, especially since she knew her soul was too far gone already.)

Maybe that's why her head feels like it's been filled with rocks and her body weighed with lead. A single crimson iris opens to a sky painted blood red and that's when both of her eyes shoot open and she sits up, though her weight feels... off somehow. Her back's aching, almost as if it's on fire until she reaches behind her, talons brushing against her feathers and it's then that all too familiar feeling of dread starts to set in again.

Hurriedly getting to her feet, even with stumbling a few times due to needing to get used to the fact that overall weight and physiology has changed considerably, she races over to the nearest reflective surface—a destroyed storefront's glass window to look herself over. What was once long raven hair, round hazel hues, and beige-colored skin has now changed into a deep scarlet overall along with oranges and yellows mixed within, akin to that of the legendary phoenix from the myths she'd hear as a child. Along with that is a set of haunting ruby irises, devoid of pupils.

Just... just what is she? Was this the Hell she knew she was destined for all along?

But then, as much as they teased the other about it, where is Alastor? Is he here, too? Or, if in a cruel twist of fate, was he the one sent to Heaven while she languished in Hell?

The Gods, if she even still believed in them at this point, would be that cruel to do that.

Though, it's not like she can ruminate any further on that as she can hear the sound of something behind her, which causes her to clumsily grab at a snapped pole, itself clattering to the ground beneath her as she's not used to her talons quite yet.

Well, shit. Maybe she can run—? (Oh, and make herself look like a fool in the process, too, what with needing to support herself against the wall right now.)

Either way, whatever kind of hell this was, she could still fight to live another day, and as she pushes off the wall, she nearly trips over her own feet before trying to run to whatever resembled safety.

...That is if there is any safety to be had in a place like this.

[neednothavehappenedtobetrue]

I think

even if strangers on the internet are doing something bad, like the worst bad think you can think of,

if you post “I wish all members of X group would kill themselves”

I’m going to go ahead and unfollow your blog even when I agree that X is bad.

sorry I super don’t vibe with wishing suicide on people.

[ofyorkshire]

is he uncomfortable with hospitals and if so, whom would he visit, in a hospital setting? is there someone in his life he just wouldn't visit, despite caring about them, because hospitals Suck? i think i read somewhere he doesn't like them but also. i have no idea

Rev. Laws, his guardian after his mother passed, refused to take BJ to see a doctor as a child for fear that his abuse would be discovered. BJ continued to avoid doctors if at all possible until his early twenties when he was forcibly admitted to a mental health facility for a suicide attempt (it wasn't; Laws had tried to murder him, failed, and when BJ was discovered, he admitted BJ himself as his only known "family"). So. BJ's experience with hospitals isn't exactly... standard.

In his main verse where he experienced the horrors of staying in a mental health ward during the '80s, he is extremely uncomfortable with hospitals, yeah. Would prefer to avoid them at any cost and will send flowers and cards, but is unlikely to visit anyone unless they're on their death bed. He came out worse than he entered and would like to never step foot inside one again.

In a modern AU, he takes hospitals a little more easily. Patients can and do absolutely leave with hospital related trauma still and are sometimes made worse by their stay, but while I doubt BJ's stay was good, abuse wasn't par for the course as "treatment" for mental health issues like it would have been in the 1970s. So he isn't quite as averse to hospitals here. He wouldn't give a second thought to visiting someone or even staying the night there with them. The only thing he would have trouble with would be being the patient. The environment would be scary and the unfamiliar hands of nurses or doctors disturbing, never mind the weird vulnerability of having to wear a gown. But I think he'd be most irrationally afraid of being left there by his loved ones and having to stay for an extended period, like he had the only other time he'd been in a hospital.

[warlock-enthusiast]

When a coworker approaches you - out of love - and asks if you have considered losing weight, because I currently have a bit of backpain like every other fucking office person ever.

Bitch I have been on a diet for most of my life and suffered through eight years of bulimia and starving myself. I got bullied so bad that I wanted to off myself at the age of 10.

Fuck all the way off.

Ofc I was not savage or smart and simply teared up.

Out of love, my ass.

[immortalled]

Im not gonna reply to the post bc it is such a good post and i don't want to spoil it with a reply but: for what it is worth connor never got the suicidal vibe from nathan at all. Always thought he wanted to be here, causing at least a little bit of havoc. Connor is usually a good judge of these things but jfjdhgsgags also isn't canon so. *hands this to you* that's the thought

"Spoil it with a reply". Friend!!! You could never spoil anything.♥

But yes, yes, yes. Connor is right, and I love that he's so sensitive to people in all meanings of the phrase. That makes him a very good detective.

[oatmeal-stans-the-trash-rat]

AU Idea: Pre-AA Virgil Trusts Too Soon

Just thinkin. What if pre-AA Virgil revealed, accidentally, that he's a dark Side/former dark Side before he was accepted? How would the other three react?

To me, Roman would be more determined to 'chase the villain away'. Patton may grow hesitant around him because 'what if he is bad?' doubt comes in. Logan would probably not change as much as c!Logan is towards c!Virgil. He's the one Side who's neutral and a bit supportive of the Darks anyway, so I doubt he'd be much different.

Maybe someone tells Thomas about it, and it makes it a lot harder for Thomas to accept/trust Virgil? Like, if he's 'dark' and 'bad', what does that say about him? More doubt, and shit goes downhill FAST.

Virgil doesn't reveal his name until a lot later, maybe sticks a lil closer to his fellow Darks for longer, feels isolated and alone because maybe he DOES leave the Darks but has no home with the Lights either? Like, cue major angst shift and him attempting to Duck Out/Fade, and what if, because of all the mistrust, Virgil succeeds in this AU? Now, the persona of Anxiety is gone, the Darks are more upset bc they didn't truly realize how hurt Virgil was, and now the Lights all have this horrible guilt for not giving him much of a chance (besides maybe Logan in this AU).

Keep in mind that the Lights know Virgil as 'Anxiety' pre-AA, so in this AU, he never gets to reveal his name to the Lights and show he trusts them and is healing n stuff.

Imagine how Thomas conflicted would feel if/when he learns his personified Anxiety is gone...

[where-are-the-spooky-gays-2]

tw: Suicide mention, self harm, and other stuff similar to that, suicide attempts

I started reading the “suicide boy” manhwa and I made an TSS au of it where Remus is the mc. There are no ships here there’s just creativity twins fluff and friendship lol.

Hoon= Remus

Jaehoon= Logan

The rest of the roles are made up out of pure creativity .

(If you’re uncomfortable with this then I completely understand I’ll won’t post about this au on your blog again if you’re uncomfortable with it!)

It's perfectly alright I just never heard of that (Manga? Comic?) before so I have no context to anything but I'll take your word for it