#surely someone sees my vision. surely

[bluerasbunny]

you know what. fuck it im getting autistic on main

C!DREAM AS JH/ARIAH SONGS. (read under the cut!!)

starting with THE MOST fitting one!!

who's eye is it anyway is so him it is insane. it's so post-vault dream in the imprisoned sam era. 'an eye for an eye'. literally. like literally an eye for an eye i need everyone to hear how much this fits c!dream.

i'd have to paste all the lyrics in i'm not doing that. all of them fit. listen to it you'll see what i mean

THSI ONE. FITS SO WELL.

Is it really a complex or just lacking context? Why would someone go so far to be a walking lie? Yeah, that don't sound like me I don't think I'm that guy (enter beginner's guide)

c!dream being severely misunderstood, lacking in context, a walking lie that he went as far as he possibly could for. you see it right

That I would lose (needed a change of pace) Oh, I would lose Between my left and right, one day I'd have to choose (gone without a chance) He found the man before him had died

first of all these are lyrics from BAD LUCK!! which is the most discduo song ever. second only to want you gone from portal 2.

second of all 'gone without a chance' 'he found the man before him had died' do i even.

the abandonment of himself in the haste of his mission.

Slow down Those words mean nothing My brain just revs up faster Pressure bomb in a goddamn knife fight Ecstatic pathways runaway flood my mind Overstimulation makes me feel like I'm alive

Static that's keeping me up It drives me forward every moment Makes sure I don't stop too long to Smell the flowers I been here too long I might Burn up and explode

I get in the way of myself And it hurts to admit That sometimes I'm unequipped To handle It all on my own But why do it alone It's cause I know I'll never slow down

I'm at the end of my means From idolizing a made-up man Who one day could be me But does version sleep at night Or ever take a minute to just breathe Or Just to be

honestly i can't even. explain this one properly?? like with any evidence for it?? i just think it resembles his psyche and 'guy that is always running around doing SOMETHING' thing

this one is SO discduo. holy shit it is so fucking discduo it is insane how discduo this is.

"You're not like me, I'm not like you I'm not who these things happen to" And that's exactly what you say before they do

tommy. tommy with the 'You're not like me, i'm not like you, i'm not who these things happen to' and the responding line. its so them it is so them OGH

Hand in hand come human error and plain bad luck It seems the timing's always wrong For the ones who wait too long You'll never catch a break you'll have to make your own

'Hand in hand come human error and plain bad luck.' i am. INSANE about corellating this to discduo. tommy is human error dream is plain bad luck. by the way. or it could be the other way around it works either way

That I would lose Oh I would lose Between my left and right, I'd one day have to choose You're not like me, I'm not like you. I'm not who these things happen to And that's exactly what you say before it catches up to you Before you play with knives and find yourself in two You, you, you, you

first point except with the new lines fitting discduo even more. like

I finally climbed to heights I No matter how I try Can't descend Still, somehow they're looking down on me Laughing cause I got what I deserved (You got what you deserved)

And I would do it again I'm not sorry but thank you For enduring me As long as you did That's more than I'd ever ask of you

LIKE. DO I EVEN. HELLO? HELLO. HELLO??? YOU SEE THIS RIGHT.

that final part is LITERALYL the discduo finale like. it is insane. it is insane

okay. hear me out. manhunt energy, yes, but ALSO.

Before I knew I'd live to Savor this day I'm taking off To my own grave I'm running away

So watch me disappear before your eyes And catch me if you can

Catch me, catch me, misplace and mismatch me Tie your shoes in knots but you’ll never harass me Find me, find me, I dare you to try I’ll bet on my survival But now you’re gonna die out there

Where could I be? Walking among you or inside your own homes? Or perhaps there's a part of me in all of you. (Hahaha!)

i cant even explain my thought process with this one i just need you guys to match my brainwaves honestly. like you get me (probably)

So catch me if you can Catch me if you dare Venture through the foul and you'll see what's fair Catch me if you can Catch me if you dare You'll find me through the fog and the filthy air

'Venture through the foul and you'll see what's fair' SNAKES DON'T JUST BITE.

Another grave for the digger with the crimson blade I ain't a saint or a sinner I'm the ghost you made

I fucking dare you, You wouldn't know a good hook if it impaled you That chorus isn't yours, eighty-five is for the label So are you able to take the blame, As a pawn to the winner of a losing game?

FUCKING. DISC DUO. IT'S DISC DUO MAN. I MEAN COME ON THAT LAST LYRIC. I AM DERANGED

im going to gain a reputation as the guy that tags c!dream to songs and then does the worlds worst attempts at analysis posts on them and well maybe im okay with that

[moraymiso]

it is CRIMINAL that i can’t find a single soukoku angst pmv with Memories by Conan Gray

it’s late, I hear the doorbell ringing, and it's pouring I open up that door, see your brown eyes at the entrance you just wanna talk, and i can't turn away a wet dog

HELLO?????? HELLO!!! SOMEONE SEE MY VISION ??? “i can’t turn away a wet dog” the attachment-issues-chuuya lover in me is FROTHINGGG

now I can't say goodbye if you stay here the whole night you see, it's hard to find an end to something that you keep beginning over and over again i promise that the ending always stays the same, so there's no good reason in make-believing that we could ever exist again

THIS IS LITERALLY THEIR SONG WHAT?? SKK ANGST ARTISTS HEAR ME. SOMEONE WRITE A FANFIC OR SOMETHING

[soaps-mohawk]

When it comes to kneeling, with the first kneel was reader on the floor and then Price in a chair? Then second kneel session they were both kneeling?? I like when authors describe the actual positions of the characters but I think I got a little confused 😅 I was trying to figure out the positioning just so I could make more sense of the scene. If you know what I mean?

I get what you mean!! I'm so bad at remembering to describe things like this properly too 😭

So in both instances Price was sitting and reader was kneeling on the floor next to him. To give the clearest visual, Price was sitting facing his desk, and reader was kneeling right next to him on the floor beside his chair also facing the desk. Price only drops down to kneel next to her once they're done, mostly just because reader's kind of boneless and has very little control in those moments and he's not going to let her fall and hurt herself.

I hope that clears it up lol.

[fisheito]

my princess nonsense is being encouraged watch ouyt imabout to be eneaabled

OK WHATF ATHAT'S SO CUTE I HAD TO MAKE IT i know realistically there's little to no chance that rei DOESN'T know how to work heels 🤣 BUT IMAGINE.....ING.... YAKUMO GENTLY GUIDING REI IN HEELS, WEEKS BEFORE THE BIG GALA AND HAVING NONE OF HIS NORMAL FEAR OF PHYSICAL TOUCH BC HIS [TEACHER MODE] IS OVERRIDING HIS INSECURITY

[holisticdogpark]

trexel geistman is such a fascinating character.hes like if somebody took the worst qualities of david lister and arnold rimmer and smashed them together into one fucked up guy

[98chao]

its kind of funny that crk brought out such Emotion in me that i just whipped out all my knowledge on how symbolism and colour affects art. im not playing about those cookies bro.

[lpsgirl109]

These two would be friends I think

[yipfrey]

every time people put shen twins au with reverse transmigration i think about that scene in lilo and stitch but shen yuan saying to shen jiu “your anger level is unusually high for someone your size we need to fix that” or something

[sleepingfancies]

hello it is the uninvited you said u can talk about Raphael's complexities for hours. please do i want to know about this GUY <3

hiii i'm late to this but YAYYYYY thank u sm for asking about My Guy >:3 complexities under the tag for length

Raphael (23) is the eldest of six children. Since Raphael was six years old, he's helped take care of his younger siblings one by one. He does love them dearly, but a large part of him also resents how his life was dedicated to being the "third parent." He's held his tongue out of gratitude, given the hardships his parents fought through trying to raise them, but that's really only served to let his resentment simmer. His relationship with his parents is tense at best because of it. It hurts his mother in particular to see him distance himself, and truthfully Raphael hopes it keeps hurting. Despite that, whenever his siblings - or indeed anyone around him - needs help or comfort or protection, he will always be there at a moment's notice. By now, it's an instinct he can't ignore. Being of service to others while also being their guiding or protecting hand is the way he was taught how to love.

Raphael's mother Rikke became a household name when she exposed new biotechnology being quietly developed in her home country (Nattenheim) to the neighboring country (and planned future recipient of said biotechnology) of Teothe. The developmental methods of the technology kickstarted a civil war in Nattenheim, and the scandal ended all trade and diplomatic relations with Teothe. Her partner Florian helped her flee to his home in Teothe for refuge, but they remained unsafe from assassination attempts for a decade afterwards all the same. Raphael was both conceived and born during this timeframe, making his first five years of life deeply unstable and full of uncertainty. He does not remember having a safe home in which he could just be a child until he was six, by which time he became the "third parent" almost immediately.

Raphael, being his mother's spitting image, cannot escape association with "Rikke the Traitor" or "Rikke the Savior" no matter where he goes. Every person he meets is immediately aware of his connection to Rikke, and judgments frequently follow that awareness. As a result, he bases his presentation largely around what people think of his mother. If they believe she is a traitor, then Raphael plays up being dishonest, selfish, even outright cruel. If they believe she is a savior, then Raphael presents himself as selfless, honorable, and gentle-hearted. This might seem like loyalty to his mother, but in actuality, he just throws on whatever veneer "validates" any one person's judgment of him. Very few people actually "know" Raphael, given how much of his public behavior is a front.

To the above point: Raphael is, at his core, desperately attention starved. He craves recognition like his life depends on it. If someone believes his mother is a traitor with no morals, he will lean into that belief to guarantee that he is equally reviled, because that promises attention. He does not fear being disliked, because he can always get some measure attention from people who find him annoying or unlikable. He pursues goals, passions, and people he believes can satiate his attention needs with obsessive fervor. If he fails to achieve them (or god forbid loses them to another's efforts), he can become deeply bitter and even violently jealous. Raphael wants to be lauded, wants to be wanted, wants to be cherished, wants to be noticed, wants to be the specialest person in the room to something or somebody at all times. He does not care how he gets that or who or what he gets it from. He is someone prone to insanely toxic relationships that he charges headlong into, or corrupt workplaces where he can undercut others to get recognized. By the same token, though, he is also perfectly at home in a deeply loving relationship with a steady partner, or in a workplace where he can feel fulfilled helping others and be regularly thanked for it, such as emergency medical services. He has made his personality and standards very malleable in order to slot into whatever niche best rewards him with attention.

Whether an acquaintance or a close friend, everyone knows that Raphael is vain. Of course, he wouldn't describe it that way so much as that he's "meticulous" about his appearance. He takes great care of his hair in particular, but preens quite diligently in general. The point of this (though he isn't aware of it) is still an attempt at recognition. Styling himself is the easiest way to get attention, after all. If he can be the prettiest man in the room, the most fuckable person at the grocery store, the cleanest and shiniest person in the chapel, then people are paying attention to him exclusively. In fact, calling Raphael "plain" or "boring" or "dull" are probably the most surefire ways to making a permanent adversary of him. He will never, ever accept the implication that he is in any way mediocre or average. He can't accept that in others, let alone himself.

In Nattenheim culture, the number, style, and fastener-of-choice of braids a person has are all communicative of various social aspects such as marital status, profession, and class. Raphael almost exclusively wears his hair in one long, singular braid fastened with a dull tie at the ends. Due to its simplicity, this style has no translation in Natten culture. It is essentially communicating that the wearer has no identity.

Raphael's insecurities get the better of him in ways he can't always control. His fear of being replaced, forgotten, or growing irrelevant constantly gnaws at his subconscious, and it is a powerful beast. If he feels that his companionship or work is slowly being edged out of relevance by another's, he can fly into irrational and accusatory behavior in a blink. Without intervention or reassurance, it can become devastating fallout. Raphael never wants to hurt or scare people he cares about, but he just doesn't have the skill to calmly communicate how terrified he is of being replaced, forgotten, or made irrelevant. He has burned quite a few bridges this way, all of which he deeply regrets. He knows all he can do is apologize when he comes down from his state of panic, and accept if or when that apology doesn't grant him forgiveness. He genuinely wants to be a better person, but he has no idea where to start. A part of him thinks it's probably too late to improve.

Raphael would not be able to answer the question of "who are you" with anything besides his name. If asked about hobbies, passions, even personality traits, Raphael would struggle to provide an answer. If asked about childhood memories, he wouldn't be able to describe any that did not include his siblings or watching his parents fear for their lives. He has spent most of his life either playing the role of the responsible eldest child and protective big brother, or being a mirror of others' perceptions of him. He refutes vulnerability on instinct. He doesn't necessarily fear it, but he cannot afford to risk it with the wrong person. Not when his family relies on him, and not when "being himself" could also risk losing the invaluable attention that catering to people's expectations brings him.

Raphael is also, to some degree, a stanger in his own career. He joined a faction not because he believes in their beliefs or even cares about the work, but because it put the most distance between himself and his family. His joining was controversial and he was very nearly rejected, due to his mother's infamy. To avoid more scrutiny, he interacts very little with his coworkers. He is comfortable in his own company, which is perhaps the only saving grace for the situation. Isolation leaves him alone with his thoughts and feelings, isolation makes him bored, isolation makes him crave attention more and more. Most of his coworkers don't know him as anything beyond "the guy who stays out of the way," but Raphael's more destructive tendencies are always just around the corner.

Though very few people have seen it, Raphael is remarkably - even startlingly - different in private vs in public. His fronts in crowded public spaces are often loud and flirtatious, impossible to ignore and easy to be annoyed by. He brushes off criticism as easily as he charms strangers into becoming friends, all while ensuring he's the focal point of every eye in the room. One-on-one in public, he comes across as anything he wants you to believe he is. Shallow, generous, vapid, mean, funny, shy. Whatever he thinks you want him to be. In private, though, the facade drops. He's far more subdued, softspoken, and patient. He seems exhausted, even if he manages to keep up appearances with a smile at least. Particularly if he's caught off guard in private - if he wasn't expecting company - the difference seems like night and day. If asked about it, he won't acknowledge the difference. Depending on who he's speaking to in private, he can recover the facade quickly, though it's never quite the same as when he's fully prepared for a crowded room.

Despite it all, Raphael does very much want to have his own children someday! Aside from simply wanting to be a father, he wants to "do it right" as far as raising a child goes. He wants to be able to do it on his terms, with a person he chooses, with a home he establishes that is safe and quiet and comforting. He wants to give his kid the childhood he didn't get, the love and attention he just couldn't be provided, and the security he lacked in his early years. This is something that's deeply important to him, and not something he's ever discussed with anyone. He isn't sure he'll ever get it, or if he'd even be any good at it. He's worried he'd be too selfish, too insecure, too shallow. He's afraid he would end up traumatizing his child. These are worries he's never voiced aloud. Not even his parents are aware he wants to be a parent someday. He quietly mulls over whether or not he could do it - and whether it would just be kinder to let go of that desire rather than risk his problems overwhelming a kid - alone.

[pyrosomatic-metamorphosis]

no but im thinking about how 4halo could be together while keeping their dynamic intact. forever asks bad on a date and bad is like yeah :D friendship date. several dates later bad's the one to propose and he says "will you merry me" as in like. be merry with me. feel joy forever for we're together and we have 11 children aka all of the eggs we have forcefully adopted from the other parents and i dont know what life would be like without you. you changed my life for the better. besties 4evar, forever

[quietwingsinthesky]

pre-canon spn to me is just Azazel having to show up to parent John’s kids for him so they don’t die a la the Maleficent movie until he starts feeling partial towards Sammy as his favorite of the special children

[moe-broey]

Can never rb any post that goes "when I was a little girl" bc I was never a little "girl". Retroactively, I am, and always have been, Milo. But if you want to get pedantic, I was Some Fucking Thing, then I was a mannequin, then I beautifully blosomed into Just Some Guy. With problems

[blackvahana]

Yeah. Man. I'm just sitting here remembering I've been doing this my entire life. I feel like there was a patch I wasn't, part of the teen years, and that's either I've forgotten because trauma orrrr something else but

No wonder I've never felt anchored on this plane. But it doesn't matter, well, no, it matters a lot, but this life is just constantly isolating in how it works so I will keep the talk of not fitting in here and what being weirdly one got in one foot out has done to talking to myself lmfao but... I remember. I remember being in the garden as a really young child and I'm not a young child. I'm this chimaeric fairy-type thing of swirling and bulging colours like a psychedelic faceted-insect-eye's led trip, four or more wings of different types that are again, so ungrounded, so psychedelic, vivid. Not uncertain. Not half-formed. Fully formed, the starbeing in me just barely contained in the shape of the human-pretending-to-be-a-fae it's pretending to be

I remember so much, actually, and it's. it's just weirdly melancholic....? Maybe not melancholic, but it's so sad and I don't know why. Actually. I mean I've been trying to piece it together for like twenty minutes now but... People get a little irritated at me for being very "you don't understand and no one sees me" but like. I have lived an entire life walkinv streets where no one sees me. It's very complicated, there's. mental health stuff in there because of course I've come across a lot of spirits but I have bad issues seeing people as real but like. Man yeah no I am a snail and one part of me can be physically seen but the other has always been on the other side

[aq2003]

i think the idea that ten in a dnd game would have main character syndrome is very incorrect. unless you're talking abt timelord victorious in which the image of ood sigma pulling that freak out of the snow and sitting him down to play dnd to fix him is very funny

[boxwinebaddie]

hi nina! do you have any other songs that you think cd would cover? i just really liked new perspective and i think ur music taste is rlly cool :3

d'awww!!! hi there, sweet pea! <3

tysm for your ask but, before you start reading ( because this message got VERY long ), i just want to let everyone know that i used this ask to explain some Very Complex Ravenstan/Callgirl Fake Dating Lore...so if you are interested in that, it starts towards the middle of this ask...it's a lil chaotic, but i tried to make it as interesting and clear as i could! no obligation to read, ofc, as always, but i did want to preface this ask with that info, so you know this one is

*Secretly An Important RM Lore Ask.*

but back to what i was doing ( screaming ):

— because aAAAAAAAAAA!!!! c': <333

i am not even joking, you guys, despite the fact that my fic is based almost entirely around Music, i avoided answering music-related asks for so LONG bc i was legitimately so nervous about it being negatively perceived or read for filth on here, which, i Know, is silly because it's my fanfic and what i say goes, i can't change my music taste anymore than i can change the way my dna loops, but...idk.

like, i feel like A Lot of people are self conscious abt their music taste, but my social anxiety/inferiority complex can get so gnarly that i actually get Nervous when people ask me about what kind of music i like and i never EVER sit shot gun in cars bc i am...scared to aux. :/

iiiiiit's...That Bad. ( nina, please get therapy. )

i also feel like people in this fandom can get Very Intense about what kind of music they associate with the boys/what music the boys listen to and are FRIGHTENINGLY QUICK to rip people to shreds over opinions that don't align with theirs or aren't obscure or 'cool' enough.

bc of that, i try to be Very Lowkey on this blog because the larger part of this fandom and the criminally insane level at which they escalate petty fights over canon/fanon, like to the point that they are frothing at the mouth and start doxing people...gives me Extreme Stress. which, in my line of work, i actually CANNOT have happen.

tldr; i want absolutely NO part of it and like my lil corner.

thank you for keeping it Safe. <3

AND THANK YOU FOR ENJOYING MY MUSIC TASTE!!! EEEE c: <3 THAT IS SO REASURRING AND HEALING FOR ME TO HEAR!!!! MUSIC TO MY EARS, BABY! LITERALLY! THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THAAAANK YOU! *holds you* *squishes you* *kisses ur head*

istg, if nothing else the fact that i have a bunch of you rocking out to New Perspective and positively associating it with my fanfic means that i have done my job and that's a legacy i'm willing to die with.

i'm being so serious, i feel like if rm was a tv show, it would play as the outro to every episode...but like a nice, soft, raw version w/ ravenstan on acoustic guitar to contrast the hard ass cd cover of style by tswizz that i think would open every episode...smh, nina, please, pleease stop imagining your unfinished, crack-fanfic as a netflix og series. >.>

BUT!!! okay!!!! in vein of trying not to worry about the perception of my music taste or what other people want from me...tHIS IS A KIND OF CONTREVERSIAL TAKE BUT I TIED IT TO THE PLOT, OKAY?

so, as a little nina lore and for context, when i was in elementary school around like 4th/5th grade, i was listening to like a lot of early y2k bangers, ig. dirty little secret by all american rejects, hey there delilah by the plain white tees, girlfriend by avril lavigne core, etc.

( just to make you giggle, i also had a ps2 and there was a series of video games called singstar that were some off shoot of rockband/gh that had mics you plugged directly into the system...pls note my high score on sk8r boi really should be put in the guinness world records, like if you held a gun to my head and told me to sing that song, i not only would i fuck it up but i would LIVE, baby! better luck next time! )

...it was also around early disney channel times ( the disney channel games with the team colors...that was my OLYMPICS, bitch! ) and i had this Disney Pop Hits Vol...1? i think? cd i used to play on the prehistoric radio thing in my room and my favorite song on it was...

pop princess by the click five.

AND I KNOW!!! I KNOOOOOW!!!! controversial take, but i am sorry, THAT SONG FUCKS!!!! THAT SONG IS SOOOO AWESOME!!!!!

and i feel like when ravenstan was fake dating call girl during the great hate south park embark, cd covered it: i am picturing a less finger-bang, btr, disney channel esqe sound and more of a pop-punk, pedal to the metal, electric guitar type, edgy rockstar boy typa beat.

but Yes, i think ravenstan covered it or idk i really think that it was made FOR call girl. and it was BAD ASF. i also think bc tcf wrote that song about hannah montana ( iconic ), and bc call girl is basically the whole internet's e-girl bubblegum pop princess in my fanfic, it just...

makes...Sense.

am i making sense? do we see the vision? aka rs in his lil pants w/ the ripped red and black flannel tied around his waist, fallin to his knees, singing his heart out, pointing at her, winking? PPL DIIIIIIIIIED.

and by people, i do mean jerseykyle n bebe who were MAD AS HELL,

-- but also tapping their toe...smh.

it was both very cool and very annoying. RIP.

( ...do i have jersey and bebe make out during the pop princess call girl tribute as mlm/wlw solidarity? HEEEELP ICOOONIC *jk vibrating with stress and anger vc* barbara, i need you to do somethin for me don't ask questions, i'll explain later, It's Important sdks MESSY! )

BUT OKAY!!!! SPEAAAAKING OF THEM AND THAT AND CALLGIRL AND RAVEN OF CRIMSON DAWN DATING!!!! i wanted to give you some lore and some spoilery plot about that/them bc it is burning a Hole in my brain...i must discuss r.s. and call girl becaaaause

~Its....Complicated.~

ANYWAYS!!!! IMPORTANT PLOT TIME!!!!

so, for more context: i am currently working on another ask abt how ike found out that jerseykyle/ravenstan used to be dating and during that conversation in kyle's room about three days into the sp trip, CONCURRENTLY somewhere Else, ravenstan and call girl are getting ready to do some flashy PR thing like go on a date/get din, idk.

BUT RIGHT BEFORE IT: ravenstan and call girl are alone together, and ravenstan, who, i am not even kidding you, is sooo fucking Pissed that this is EVEN HAPPENING because kyle is super mad at him, was like you are Actually Dead to me, WILL NOT TALK TO HIM...

( which without spoiling too much -- is actually why ike can tell that somethin Fucked Up is happening because j.k. is super aggressive and loud and is not afraid to Fuck Your Shit Up...but has not laid a FINGER on raven of crimson dawn...and actually, seems to not even want to be Near him, barely acknowledges his existence, leaves rooms that he is in and is Radio Silent around him...WHICH IS TWICE AS SCARY AS J.K. YELLING AND TRYING TO KILL YOU. so, uhh, Not fucking...Good, you guys. ike was like...this is...not fucking normal. )

but again, he cannot tell kyle what is going on bc he might actuuuuallly get MURDERED??? uh???

anyways, in whatever secure, secluded space rae/cg are in ( its somewhere private, i pictured a dressing room of sorts, like a makeup trailer, somewhere they have to take pics ) stan is Extremely Straight Up with her and says something to the effect of:

"i have no idea what you think this is or what you want this to be or what they told you, but we are not dating and this...is NOT. Real."

and call girl ( aka wendy whose identity is a secret to EVERYONE, No One has seen the bottom half of call girl's face...Ever. she changes her wigs everyday, they are Very Elaborate and is always in a very high tech face mask that covers her face from the nose down and uses a voice modulator to mask her speaking voice...a mysterious queen ) oddly enough seems completely relieved by this statement and is like

*squints*

"don't worry, Emo Boy. feeling is mutual. like, no offense, but you are seriously...not my type. Ew. trust me, i don’t want to do this either but,

— I Have To."

wHICHSHDLSKDHLSD SHE GUTTED HIM HELP. he was *gigantic stan slow eye blinks in shock* like "right, okay, Ow. that was...Mean." kshdlksdls but then was "--but i am glad we...agree. i Also HAVE To. not because of publicity, it's...Deeper than that...i can't really ta--"

to which call girl, locking eyes with him, dead seriously, lowering her modulated voice is like...

"it's tenorman, right?

He Threatened You."

and r.s, gagged! Again!!! is like

"holy shit, he THREATENED /YOU/ TOO?!?!"

and call girl nods very slowly and starts to say

"he told me if i didn't do it he would..."

and rs with the same kind of mounting horror whispers

" — Kill Everyone You Love And Care About?"

which, at this point, folks, they are both like...

...WOAH.

bc they realize they are both stuck in the same torture chamber together, they Both got cornered into this really elaborate ruse and have to keep it up in order to keep the people that they love Safe and it's...A Lot. it...really is. but it's also sort of freeing and cathartic to knowing you are not alone going through what is pretty much the worst thing that has ever happened to you in your entire life.

i also feel like...there is this natural bond. this Energy between them. like they understand/see each other and feel...safe with one another.

and call girl, guard still up, dips a toe in uncharted water, and goes:

"well...since were partners in crime now and have to live a lie in public...i think we at least owe it to each other in private...

...to be Real."

she offers this bc they have reached an understanding, an impasse, a standstill, a draw of sorts. and there is a thick tension...as well as this crescendoing vulnerability that hangs the air with her ultimatum as they stare warily at each other, strangers, both wearing still wearing their masks, call girl physically in hers and stan in his metaphorical one doing the dark, raspy smoke and mirrors raven voice bc he is...not sure about her in the same way that she is...

...still not sure abt him.

( they are basically that one spiderman meme where both the spidermans are holding each other at gun point. ) and it's a huge Risk to indulge her request, but again...they both have everything to lose.

and no one...but Eachother.

so he indulges her very tentatively and counters:

"alright...then, tell me something Real, call girl."

to which she nods, closes her eyes and goes. "fine. my real name..."

call girl trails off, reaches up to tap the voice modulator on her mask, turns it off, reaches out her rhine-stoned, sequined, hot pink faux leather gloved hand out to shake his and in her real voice, says,

" — Is Wendy."

and this...is a Very BIG Deal.

again, no one has ever heard call girl's voice before. no one knows what her name is or Anything about her. she doesn't even preform live, she does virtual concerts and is basically this sort of mysterious, ai, vocaloid/miku internet personality that is very Carefully and elaborately Coded and ENCRYPTED to keep her identity Safe.

so her turning off her voice mod and speaking to stan, not as a fictional, larger than life computer-generated celebrity, but as a human being...is massive.

it's also very...Comforting to ravenstan.

who has not been himself...for a very long time. and it's not smart, it's not a good idea, but he decides to trust her and in turn,

in his real voice, says,

"stan. my name...is Stan.

It's Nice To Meet You, Wendy."

he shakes her hand and she shakes his.

she says, "it's nice to meet you too, stan." :)

and it feels...Nice. it should feel wrong, what they're doing, but it feels right, it feels fucking amazing to stop Preforming. she knows his name, she's seen his face...but realizes he still has not seen Hers and running on adrenaline, bolstered by a rare surge of bravery, chinks at her armor, or mask rather, and makes a motion.

literally.

bc he reaches up towards her face and goes, "oof. it's nice to hear your human voice; the dystopian robot voice was lowkey espantoso."

he laughs, it's genuine and super ugly, god bless him. so you Know he's being really real when he asks "but...if it's all the same to you. if were going to speak freely; i'd like to...see Who i am speaking to.

so can i, please, uh...see your Face? your whole face.

your...Real face."

and oof. this...is a little nerve-wracking for wendalends.

she's neeeever taken the mask off. ever. Ever. EVER.

For A-n-y-o-n-e.

but...she might never have the chance again and it is...really stuffy under there. so she Agrees and lets stan remove her face apparatus.

ravenstan does say "Wowza." HDLKSHDSl amazing.

he's also my boyfail king and says something very fucking stupid like

"sorry, you're REALLY Pretty. i was worried might look like deadpool under there." she smiles, it's beautiful. no one has seen her real smile before as call girl and thanks him. she goes on to apologize and is like

"thank you, stan. you're really sweet and i...am sorry i said 'ew'. it's not because you're ugly, you're kind of...Cute for a guy, actually? you have really nice bone structure and very kind eyes. it's just, when i said you weren't my type i meant Boys. in...general."

her voice shakes a little, she's never admitted this out loud before, not even to her girlfriend. but she trusts stan with the nice bone structure and dumb ugly laugh and very kind eyes, so she says

"i'm a...Lesbian.

i'm also Seeing Someone at the moment.

It's Complicated."

and stan is like, skhdlsd way too excited to talk about kyle, and is like

"okay, whew! i'm ALSO seeing someone! or well..." then remembers and is like oooof "well...i Was...seeing someone i guess. it's..."

my man is Depressed and is trying to change the subject because he realizes he actually can't talk about kyle because not only is cartman going to kill him if he does...he is also gonna freakin K!ll Himself because he's actually so sad that kyle currently hates his GUTS.

so he sighs, echoing her and admits "It's...Complicated." :/

he wants to hear something nice though, something real...and nice. because he is a romantico king. who believes more than anything...

in Love.

so he asks her what her girlfriend's name is. <3 :')

annnd i think she is About to say bebe's name...but realizes if she does, it will completely blow her cover.

like her ACTUAL Cover.

because stan knowing her first name and her what she looks like under the mask is one thing...but the second she says bebe's name, it's going to reveal that she is kyle's bebe's wen/wendyl which...is

Meeeeessy.

but she reasons ( as an intelligent, rational queen ) that regardless of how messy things get, her and stan are in this mess together and that the best time to make a mess...is when you are Coming Clean.

still...this is...very sensitive information. she’s not sure how he's gonna take it and needs some sort of collateral.

so she states her terms.

and call girl, who stan now knows is wendy, but not bebe's current girlfriend ( yet ) says "okay. i am going to tell you something, but in order to do it. i have to tell you...Everything. in exchange, i need YOU to tell me Everything. i am going to give you One Chance to do so willingly. if not...i do not care how untraceable you Think you are, i am very familiar with the dark web and i will find out everything i Need to know about you. and do with that information...What. I. Please.

...so /please./ promise me you won't tell anyone about what i am about to tell you...and then, tell me...stan...Something Real."

stan agrees and wendy goes into everything. comes out as trans to him and explains her origin story. ( i started to write everything in this ask but it got too long, i'll tell you all about call girl/wendy in another ask i have a couple in the box i can use, haha. ) she tells him pretty much everything ( it's a big therapy session in there ) up until this point, gaydhd ravenstan...manages to understand

Everything.

and when she finishes, true to the deal, she gently volleys the ball into his court, ( they are friends now, aw <3 ) and softly goes:

"okay...Your Turn."

and so ravenstan...who is Deeply Inspired by wendy...Wowza. he seriously thinks she is so fucking cool and ALSO A TRANS ICON??? HELLO? he feels v seen and heard and safe, so uh...jesus christ, he grabs wendy's hands, takes a veeeeeery deep breath and goes,

"so, i...

— Am DEAD."

LKHDSHSDLKDS HEEELP KSHLKDS

annnnnnd proceeds to tell her everything.

and i do mean...Everything.

they talk for the rest of the night basically, having this heart to heart, at the same time that, unbeknownst to ravenstan, jerseykyle and ike are also having a heart to heart....wendy and stan are platonic besties, they agree to keep each other's secrets as t4t legends stuck in cartman's fucked up marionette hell together, they agree to keep their crazy charade up while they try and find a way out/back to bebe and kyle, take some v convincing publicity pictures together ( i do think jk and bebe see them and want to die So Bad, it's not funny...bebe/jk or wendy/rs...choose your doomed broship. Fml. )

and that's...

Your Crazy Uncle Nina RM Lore Drop For The Night!

i hope you enjoyed it, haha. <3 please feel free to drop me a line in the ole ask box about it and ofc, as always, to ask me anything you would like! if you're still with me...after all this time. thank you so much for supporting me and enjoying my content.

it means...Everything to me.

and in writing something fake...

thank you all:

for being my Something Real. <3 c':

-uncle nina, callgirl/raven superfan

[softgrungeprophet]

real talk if anyone on here ever wants to like... buy me a DVD i will totally draw a real quick bust or whatever in exchange, i have a target wishlist registry thing and everything 😂

Like it says in the note thing on the page, DVD or DVD/Blu-Ray are both fine, regular (not 4k) Blu-Ray is probably fine since my PS4 should be able to play those, but I only have a regular-ass PS4, not a PS5, I cannot play UHD, so if something is 4K UHD please make sure it has either a DVD or a regular Blu-Ray as well...

Anyway it should be set up so you can buy stuff off my registry without me having to blast my address to the world (lol) so if you do this, send me an ask or something off anon (so I can like, contact you) (that or like, send me a message on discord if we're friends, or w/e) and I will def draw you a little drawing as thanks 👍