#tach's fics

[tachvintlogic]

The Pitstop

It was a normal day at the Justice League Watchtower Satellite. Heroes were milling about, Batman was monitoring Earth from the deck, there was an astronaut tapping on the glass, Flash was joking with Martian Manhunter...

What, what was that 3rd thing?

Batman looked up and saw in front of his view of Earth was an astronaut, wearing NASA's latest suit design. He stood up which alerted Flash and Martian Manhunter to the strange sight.

He tensed as the astronaut began to phase through the walls and entered the deck. Batman was able to activate the intruder alarm when the astronaut removed their helmet.

The astronaut was a caucasian male approximately in his early forties. There were bags under his blue eyes like many of his own cohorts, and he had black hair as well.

"We need to dock."

"Excuse me?"

"Who are you?" asked Martian Manhunter.

The astronaut's face brightened immediately upon noticing Martian Manhunter. "Oh! I'm part of the manned Mars mission! We just launched and were on our way, but something is making a weird noise, and we don't know what it is. Since we're so close, can we just dock one of your garages so we can figure out what it is and fix it?"

Batman recalled that NASA had launched less than a few hours ago.

"How did you get through the glass?" asked Flash.

"I'm the token metahuman crewmember. So can we dock or not?"

"Of course," said Martian Manhunter, looking at Batman. And what was Batman supposed to say? No?

In the parking garage, Martian Manhunter was talking the other crewmembers while the Watchtower's engineers and the metahuman astronaut, who they learned was named Danny Fenton, inspected the space shuttle and tried to figure out what was making the strange noise.

Batman watched from the sidelines as the others bustled about. They had been at it for an hour, and Batman wondered if he should ask Tim to come by and help. He had informed Tim of the development while the astronauts were docking. After all, he had been involved in some of the designs of this particular spacecraft that were done by Wayne Aerospace.

He was doubtful that Tim could help that much. After all, in all likelihood it wasn't something he designed that was the problem.

Then, one of the engineers fiddled with something and Batman suddenly heard loud rattling.

A crewmember who was listening to Martian Manhunter startled and their eyes widened. "That's it! That's the sound!"

"What it that?" asked Batman.

The engineer pulled out a piece of equipment that had the Wayne Enterprise logo on it. "This module is broken," she said, "it could be repaired but honestly," she inhaled sharply, "this thing is a hot mess."

Mr. Fenton jumped and landed on the ship like the artificial gravity didn't affect him. When he saw the logo on the broken equipment, he shook his fist at the sky.

"Of course it's something by Wayne Industries! We give them half our budget hoping they're share some cool alien inspired technology like whatever they did to build this satellite and instead we get half-assed garbage!"

Batman made a point to not share the latest gadgets with the US government (he didn't trust them), but he wouldn't call their products that weren't built using alien tech garbage. That seemed a little harsh.

"Seriously, was the person who designed this sleep-deprived when they made this?" Suddenly Batman found the walls and floor to be incredibly interesting and looked away.

"Oh that's par for the course when it comes to the stuff they give us."

"I am so sorry."

As they discussed how to improvise a replacement for the equipment quickly enough to avoid drastically altering the astronaut's flight path, Batman got a text from Tim.

So I'm free now. Did the astronauts figure out what was wrong or do they need me? - RR

He texted back.

They figured it out. The engineers have it handled. - B

[madduchessal]

Unofficially tagged by @tache-noire

RULES: post the last sentence you wrote (fanfic / original / anything) and tag as many people as there are words in the sentence.

He couldn’t watch as Drew did something to the lid and there was a resounding ‘click’.

I'm also gonna do something similar - if you read this, consider yourself tagged! :3

[rachi-roo]

Fic request open? Hello ??? Jdjdhsksks *Dying*Sorry for being so sudden, I sure hope your day is as great as you are!💙

Do you write x readers ? Sorry if you already mentioned that and my stupid self didn't notice. I always liked your blog but was a tad too shy to actually interact or send an ask 🥹

Maybe a Tachihara x male (or gn, whatever you feel more comfortable with) reader? I let you choose the summary and all that stuff cause I know whatever you write is amazing 🫂

And if you don't write for x reader then maybe a little Fyolai? Or whatever pairing you enjoy from Bsd? Or even another anime you'd like to write for, I'm not picky!

Of course you can always refuse or ignore this, I'll already feel honored if you just checked this ask ! If you're too busy or don't feel like doing it it's alright your well-being comes first! And if this ask somehow made you uncomfortable then I'm terribly sorry I didn't mean it 😭

-blue anon 💙

-------------{ ☆°•○•°☆ }--------------

Bungo Stray Dogs: Little Pastry!

Hi, hi, hiiii! Waaa that's so sweet of you! 😭 I'm having a lovely day so far! Thanks you for asking, buddy! Honestly, I haven't done much x reader stuff before, so this was a nice change and a little challenge for me! Don't ask, don't know, Blue! 💕(*^▽^)/★*☆♪

Tachiharaaaaa!!! I need to know what's happened to him! He's such a good character, and he's fiiiine too~ σ(≧ω≦*) This was a fun little write, thank you so much for the ask! Have a fantastic day! ＼(^-^)／🩷💕

Summary: Reader thought it would be a good idea to prank the metal welding Tachihara!? What a silly thing to do. Obviously, he's not impressed and has to punish you for your actions!

Ler!Tachihara x GN Reader

Tw: Lil bit of flirting

--------------------☆ ☆------------------------

"SQUIIIRT!" You heard Tachihara yelling your nickname as you sprinted down the hallway away from his room at the Port mafia HQ, skidding around the corner and almost knocking over a priceless vase.

You knew your fate was sealed, yet you thought it best to at least try and escape. After all, you probably deserved whatever the metal bending PM member had in store for you as punishment.

Hearing the heavy footsteps of Tachiharas boots coming from the hallway to your left, you suddenly dived into the nearest room available to take shelter. It was dark, making it difficult to navigate as you tried to listen for your pursuers approach.

"Squiiiirt~" You hear his voice chime outside the door, sending your heart into a panicked frenzy as you immediately ducked under a table, bonking your head a little as you crouched.

The sound was loud enough for the red head to hear. He turned to the door, smirking sinisterly as he pushed it open, letting the light from the hallway illuminate the room as he looked around for his victim. You.

"I know you're in here, Squirt. Are you going to make this easy and come out? Ooor-" He stilled, spotting you beneath the table. "Haha, found you~"

He let the door close behind him, concealing his whereabouts in the darkness. You squinted trying spot him and brace yourself for an attack, but he blended in so well with the shadows.

The occasional footsteps could be heard in the darkness, circling you like a shark to a ship. The sound of metal shifting made you jump and squeak before silence fell again. Damn Tachihara, he always loved building suspense!

"Shit..." You whispered under your breath, deciding to try and make a break for the door. You scrambled for the handle in the dark, ripping it open, tasting your freedom!

"Fooound youuu~"

Tachihara breathed over your shoulder as he wrapped his arms around your waist, picking you up with ease and dragging you back into the dark room.

The two of you struggled in the dark, tussling and wrestling as your attacker tried to pin you down.

"Wait, wait, wait, wait! Tach-IHIHIIII-!" Before you even ad the chance to protest, Tachiharas hands found their way to your sides, latching on and kneading into your warm flesh.

"No time for waiting, Squirt~. You knew this would be the result of your mischief making. Now you gotta face the consequences!" He purred, leaning down and blowing a raspberry on your neck.

You bucked your hips, squealing and kicking your legs helplessly. The dark meant you couldn't see his attacks coming, but at least he couldn't see how flustered and red you were!

"Haha, listen to you. Lil' squeaky lil guinea pig." He teased. You could hear the cold sheene of metal moving near by, your sleeves were suddenly tugged upwards by a set of forks and held up over your head, keeping your arms pinned.

"Now my hands are more free for this-!"

"Dohon't you dAHARE!" You yelp as a set of slender and dexterous fingers started skittering over your ribs, up to your underarms.

"NOOO! GahaAHA-! S-StahaaAAAHAHAP!"

"Stop? Ahawww, but Squirt, you have such a cute giggle." He chuckled as he rolled your shirt up, dragging his nails in slow, big circles over your stretched out tummy.

"Coochie, coochie, cooo~ Oooh, see? The way you tremble when I tickle you slow like this - Ugh, it really makes my day." He teased, tracing smaller circles around your belly button, grinning in the dark as he felt the warmth from your skin.

Your breath hitched as you bit your lip, cheeks puffed as you tried to stifle the chuffy giggling that was building in your throat.

"Squiiirt~ If you don't let out those sweet, sweet sounds, I'll have to use that method."

"You wouldn't!" You blurted out, trying to find his eyes in the darkness as a little panic showed in your tone.

"Oh but, Squirt, I would~." Once again, you hear rattling somewhere near by. "And, unfortunately for you, we're in the kitchen."

"Don't! Tachihara, please! I'm sorry! WAH!" You gasp, feeling several bristly brush heads dragging and flickering over your exposed sides, tummy, and ribs. Pastry brushes. With metal handles. Tachihara's the greatest weapon and your downfall.

As he manipulates the brushes with his ability, the red head also kneads into your thighs with his nimble thumbs, smirking as he feels the muscles tremble and clench beneath him.

"Tickle, tickle~ Oho, isn't this fun? You're like a yummy little pastry that needs buttering up!" He jeered, taking a gulp of air and blowing another raspberry on your neck. "Mmhm-! A tasty pastry too~."

"StAHAaaaa-... *gasp* NOHO! Aaaha!"

"What's the matter, little raspberry bun? You sound a little flustered~ Are you?"

"Y-You knowhow damn well I-YAAHAHAHAM!"

"You are?" He grinned in the dark, you can feel his breath on your chin as he leaned in close, softly tracing up and down the back of your ribs.

"Good~ I'd hate to think you're not flustered by my actions, my words~" He purred, briefly pecking your cheek before unleashing a cruel attack upon your torso, sending you into a flurry of helpless breathy laughter as your legs beat and kicked on the kitchen tiles.

He was relentless. Squeezing from your ribs down to your hips, using the pastry brushes to follow his fingers, not giving your skin a break from the tickly sensations.

"Plehehease! T-Tahach- *wheeze* AAAHA! StAHAahaAAA-! Dahamn it! I-I'm gohonna dihie!"

"Aww, well, we can't have that now, can we? My lil' pastry." At once, the tickling stopped. You lay there panting with a smile on your face.

"Okahay... Okay... I-I'm sorry... Oh-" You flinch, feeling a hand cover your eyes, hearing the click of a light switch.

"Just didn't want to flashbang you." Tachihara chuckled, slowly removing his hand letting your eyes adjust to the lights, revealing his face, smiling down at you with that cheeky, toothy grin of his as he stayed kneeling over your waist.

You stare at each other for a moment before Tachihara gasped.

"You are so red! Oh gosh, I almost burned my little pastry!" He chuckled, sitting you up and wrapping his arms around you comfortingly. "I'm sorry, Squirt. Revenge has been served." He chuckled, tussling your hair.

A content sigh passes your lips as you share this moment before a feeling of dread fills your gut.

.... What about the other prank you've left for him?...

--------------------☆ END ☆-----------------------

Thanks for reading!! 🥰

[riotstarruika]

WIP title game

Tagged by @pumpkinspice-prouvaire!

Rules: Post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! and then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

My fics are all in one hot mess of a folder, so just listing the unposted WIPs that have some hope of being finished within the next year. I tend not to give proper titles to things until I'm almost ready to upload them, so most are just what I named the file when I had the initial idea:

Reversal

Une âme pure et un gloire sans tache

Sans-culottes

Juin, 1832

No-pressure tagging @fremedon, @thevagueambition, @sadeyedlady-writes and @shitpostingfromthebarricade

[lost-decade]

Your top 5 WDCs ranked on their hairstyles?

Your top 5 journeys you've ever done?

Okay this made me realise there are/have been a lot of very generic hairstyles in F1

1. James Hunt. Absolutely luscious locked. Longer hair on men – big plus from me.

2. Lewis. I mean, everything about the man is beautiful, including his hair. No elaboration necessary

3 & 4. Nico and Jenson because pretty blonde twinks

And then IDK…Nigel Mansell for the tache

Top 5 journeys got rambly so under the cut

1. I did a three week coach trip to Berlin and back via Estonia, Russia, Latvia, Lithuania and Poland that was pretty epic. Also my first solo trip (well, solo but with a whole bunch of Aussies, some of whom became great friends. I was never brave enough to do the backpacking thing totally by myself)

2. When I was in sixth form my parents took me to the US for a month around my 17th birthday. I seem to remember there being a few arguments but other than that it was a great opportunity and there were so many places I fell in love with that I would dearly love to go back to. We started in New York and flew to San Francisco, then drove down the Pacific Coast Highway to LA, which was just an incredible journey. I was very into classic Hollywood at the time, and also reading the Beats so SF was awesome to me. Then we drove out to Vegas, also took in Palm Springs, Death Valley. I think we went to Yosemite too. There’s a brocedes fic which is inspired by that leg of the trip. After that we flew to New Orleans and Memphis, both places I’d love to revisit

3. Morocco – from Marrakech up to Casablanca, Rabat and Fez, and then down through the edge of the Sahara. Such gorgeous landscapes

4. Not a specific journey, because my memory of being really young gets hazy, but when I was a kid we had a VW camper van and used to go away in it for the whole of the school holidays every summer (as a kid I was not exactly thrilled at being taken away for seven weeks every summer and tbh I think it encouraged my bookish only child tendencies) but now I am very grateful for all the places I got to see. We used to drive all over Western Europe and my pervading memories are of the smell of the car deck on a big old ferry. I loved the car ferries and still do

5. Following on from the ferries, being on one between Greek islands as the sun is setting is just magical. I got to do this last year on my way to Sifnos for the first time in a while and there’s something about just feeling like you’re a lifetime away from home and work and responsibility, just surrounded by the ocean and pretty islands passing by with the lights coming on in the villages. I don’t get why everyone just goes to fucking Mykonos lol, it’s awful

[gerceval]

Le Choix - chapitre 3

Une fic hebdomadaire dont vous pouvez choisir la suite en votant chapitre après chapitre !

[Commencez depuis le chapitre 1]

- Oui bon bah c'est pas non plus la peine de faire la gueule.

- Mais je ne fais pas du tout la gueule, sire.

- C'était la solution la plus logique, c'est tout, et pis c'est pas comme si on s'était jamais retrouvés à partager un lit non plus Lancelot, faites pas votre mijaurée.

Arthur n'aimait pas beaucoup les manières de Lancelot. Avec le sortilège merdique qui venait de leur tomber sur le coin du pif, ils avaient quand même d'autres chats à fouetter que de s'inquiéter de savoir si leurs doigts de pieds risquaient de s'effleurer pendant la nuit. À bien y réfléchir, c'était même limite vexant.

- Je n'ai aucun problème avec ça sire.

- Eh ben alors ?

- Eh ben alors je m'inquiète simplement des conséquences de cette situation, et si dormir ensemble ce soir ne risque pas d'ajouter des noises à notre moulin ?

Il n'avait pas tort, et le problème avait bien sûr traversé l'esprit d'Arthur, mais quelle autre possibilité s'offrait à eux ?

- Nan mais ça va, il suffit d'essayer de se réveiller tôt et de s'arranger pour croiser personne demain matin, vous en faites pas pour ça. Et pis de toute façon on a du pain sur la planche, il faut qu'on élabore une stratégie pour remédier à la situation, ça va peut-être nous prendre jusqu'au lever du soleil.

Surtout si vous continuez à faire la gueule, se retint-il d'ajouter.

- Et votre femme ?

- Quoi, ma femme ?

- Ne va-t-elle pas s'inquiéter de votre absence ?

- Oh vous savez, vu comme elle pionçait quand je suis parti, y a de grandes chances qu'elle se soit même pas rendue compte de mon départ, et puis bon, il a pu arriver deux ou trois fois que je me barre au milieu de la nuit pis que je revienne pas, ya pas de raison qu'elle en fasse un cake.

Il regretta d'avoir trop parlé. C'était encore l'effet irrésistible du fait d'être affalé dans un lit qui le poussait systématiquement à bavasser sans réfléchir ; avec la fréquence à laquelle il se retrouvait au plumard avec un de ses chevaliers, il fallait qu'il commence sérieusement à tenir sa langue. Mais Lancelot ne répondit rien. En voyant son propre visage reflété devant lui, Arthur s'interrogea. Était-ce vraiment à ça qu'il ressemblait quand il se retenait très fort de faire un commentaire ?

- Bon, alors. Qu'est-ce qu'on fait ? Vous pensez qu'on en parle à Merlin en priant pour qu'il arrive à régler le problème avant que ça en devienne un vrai ?

Mais Lancelot n'avait pas l'air d'avoir la tête à l'action. Il avait toujours les bras croisés, et semblait pensif. Il finit par répondre, les yeux légèrement plissés.

- Vous pensez que le sort nous a vraiment transformés en répliques exactes l'un de l'autre ? Je veux dire exactes exactes ?

- Qu'est-ce que vous voulez que je vous dise moi, j'en sais pas plus que vous.

- Mais vous êtes pas curieux ?

Arthur était pris de court par la question.

- Ben... Je vois pas pourquoi ce serait pas exact, je veux dire... vous m'avez l'air plutôt... plutôt moi quoi, mais c'est difficile à dire.

Lancelot garda à nouveau le silence pendant quelques instants.

- Je sais pas, peut-être que si on se rendait compte que c'est pas exact-exact ça pourrait nous donner un indice. Par exemple, est-ce que vous avez des signes distinctifs un peu subtils, comme un grain de beauté ou une tache de naissance, je sais pas...

- Un indice de quoi ?

C'était au tour d'Arthur de plisser les yeux. Lancelot sembla rougir dans l'obscurité.

- Ouais nan mais vous avez raison, ça n'a pas de sens. Je sais pas pourquoi je... Du coup, Merlin.

- Ouais, je me disais que si on se lève un peu tôt et qu'on se dépêche d'aller le tirer du lit, on peut s'arranger pour qu-

Soudain, des pas retentirent dans le couloir. Il ne pouvait pas être plus que trois heures du matin, qui pouvait bien se balader dans cette partie du château à cette heure-là ? La réponse ne tarda pas à venir : c’est la voix de Guenièvre qui se fit entendre, en un chuchotement forcé et enfantin, en même temps que deux petits coups rapides contre le bois.

- Y a quelqu’un ?

Et sans attendre plus d’une seconde, Guenièvre ouvrit la porte.

[Votez ici pour ce qui se passe dans le chapitre suivant] [Lisez le chapitre suivant ici]

[kinglazrus]

11, 17, 21 :D

11. Do you have specific playlists for writing fics?

A few! I have playlists for some specific fics, and then I have a lot of ambience playlists with no lyrics saved. If I don't think I'll get too distracted I'll just listen to my master playlist, and then other times I'm just in the mood for rock/punk/metal.

17. What’s something you’ve learned about while doing research for a fic?

Warning for dead body stuff! Did you know that if someone dies with their eyes open, a reddish-brown discolouration will appear on the slcera? This is called tache noir and is a result of the eyes being exposed to air! It will eventually turn black if left exposed for hours!

21. Have you ever deleted an entire scene after spending hours laboring over it? If so, why?

Maybe not after hours of laboring over it, but I have deleted whole scenes that I worked hard on before. Mostly because I realized it didn't serve a real purpose to the story and wasn't necessary.

[surrealsunday]

Hard agree on Maxence’s hair and Axels… mustache? Maybe half a mustache? A ‘tache if you will. Like, no guys it’s not good. I love them both but I just can’t vibe with it and I feel bad for my thoughts. So glad I’m not alone 🤭

Bahahaha definitely not alone. It’s like… what do you mean they’re not going to live their lives for ME and adjust their looks accordingly??? The audacity!!! I need visual fic content here 😂😂😂. Tho I will say that the bleached look of Maxence’s does work for au premises but he is testing me 🫠

[angelstraiqhtfromhell]

It has been written about!!! @tache-noire write a fic for me based on some of my deranged tags about the cock corset hehehehe - it's here

oh you blessed human. thank you so much 🙏🏻🙏🏻

[tachvintlogic]

Hoof Trimmers IN SPACCCCCCEEEE!!!!

Based on the post about aliens probably having more than our mere 2 sets of limbs and the post about how our domesticated animals could be unusually large and dangerous compared to other planets.

longer AO3 version: link here (for people with AO3 accounts only)

Words: 1972

Summary: The newest human crewmate's background in farming ends up being able to help a coworker with a sore, injured foot more than anyone could've predicted.

Jósűrha took a step and bit back a hiss as zir middle left leg touched the ground. Ze flinched and lifted the leg back up while zir sore front and back legs took on the extra weight. The block on the middle leg had worn away, and zir leg hasn’t gotten any better since. Now ze needed someone to help zem put a new block on. Katársmun, who put it on last time, was busy at the moment, but ze knew exactly who ze could ask.

Humans were strange with their measly two legs, so unlike most species they were perfectly capable of doing their own first-aid without help, but they were more than happy to assist their fellow sapients who couldn’t reach their back half by themselves. The ship’s newest human crewmate would have a much easier time applying the block than zir other coworkers.

“Hey Officer Mackenzie! I need your help with something.”

The ship’s new resident human turned around as ze walked toward kem, and then frowned and bent to the side looking at zir feet. “Is there something wrong with your feet?”

“Yes, actually. The block on one of my claws has worn away, and obviously I can’t put another one on myself.”

Ke bent down further to get a better look at zir painful hoof. “Yeah, I can tell block on it is barely there. It explains why you’re walking like a lame cow. Have you gotten your feet trimmed recently?”

“Well, no. There aren’t many good places that can trim Zágjós feet. Wait, how did you know I needed a trim?”

“Your feet pretty closely resemble ungulates on Earth. You see my fingernails? On ungulates, their nails are giant pads made of keratin that they walk on like your hooves. Most of the other sapients I’ve seen don’t walk on the very tip of their limbs like ungulates or yourself.” That was true. Zágjós were one of the few species that needed to get their entire feet trimmed, which is why places to do that became scarcer and scarcer the further from Zágjós space you were.

“You seem to know a lot about feet.”

“Well, I used to work on a cow and sheep farm on Earth. A lot of our domesticated livestock are actually ungulates.” Having livestock species was quite common among spacefaring species. It was considered an important part of the path to FTL technology. While humans didn’t have the largest livestock species, they did have the largest livestock relative to their size.

“So do you think you can help me put a new cushion on?”

“Sure.”

They walked to zir quarters, where ze had a suspension bed (as zir species slept standing up), personal effects, and a basic first-aid kit specialized for zir species. Mackenzie opened the med kit and pulled out a block without ze having to tell kem what one looks like and a hoof trimming knife that came standard with the kit (not that ze knew how to use it).

“So does the block go on with glue or--?”

You remove the cap on the sticky side and then hold it on the claw for 30 seconds to set.”

“Alright, can you get in the suspension bed? It would be easier if you were standing without putting weight on your feet.”

“Sure.” Ze got in zir suspension bed and immediately felt relief with zir feet not entirely on the ground anymore. Mackenzie took some time to improvise a stand to hold up zir hoof and keep it still. It was a similar setup to the one at a trimmer (not that ze had been to one in a while).

“Wow, your hooves look…exactly like a cow’s hoof.”

“Should I be offended? Isn’t that livestock?”

“Oh, no. It’s just that I spent a lot of time trimming cow hooves back on the farm to keep them healthy. Hell, your hoof trimming knife looks about the same. It’s sharp on the sides with the hook on the end. I’m assuming I can remove the block with the knife, right?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

Mackenzie started trimming away at the block, muttering this would be much easier if ke had a grinder. When the old block was gone, Mackenzie hummed and ze turned zir neck to see what ke was doing. Ke was pursing kes lips in a way that zir emotional recognition course in diversity training told zim meant the human did not like what ke was looking at.

“Something wrong?”

“What does the pain feel like?”

“Kinda like a pressure in my hoof.”

“Sounds like an abscess with some detached horn above it. One your bad claw, there’s some definitely detached horn at the heel of your outer claw and a white line defect near the toe, or at least it would be if the resemblance to a cow hoof isn’t just superficial. The wall horn is also thicker than it should be on a cow, which could be overgrowth or just what hooves of your species are supposed to look like. There’s also some slight bruising on the inner portion of the claw you had a block on, and it has small crack between the wall horn and the sole horn which could turn into a serious white line defect if it isn’t taken care of.”

Ke put the foot back down. “Hold on, I need to do some research on Zágjós feet.”

Mackenzie left and ze tried really hard to relax and ignore the pain in zir foot until Mackenzie came back with the captain. Mackenzie looked excited.

“So good news! Your feet are extremely similar to cow’s feet. The only main difference is that your foot is supposed to be held 5° steeper.”

“So?”

“So I can help your foot!” Mackenzie pulled zir middle left foot back on the stand and started slicing away at the bad claw with the trimming knife. It hurt, feeling the trimming knife put more pressure on the claw that felt like it was about to burst.

“Mackenzie requested that you have some time off because you’re having trouble walking,” said the captain.

“Yeah, there aren’t a lot of places to get my hooves trimmed at our ship’s recent stops.”

“Well, tell me next time our ship routes force you to go without care or routine maintenance. And that goes for all crew so this kind of thing never happens again.”

“Thanks captain, I—” Ze gasped as the pain in zir feet suddenly lifted. The pressure inside the hoof was gone! Ze turned zir neck around and saw Mackenzie wiping pus off kes face.

“What happened?” asked the captain.

“Well, I found the abscess. There was a lot of pus in there. Do you feel better?”

“Yes! That is so much better!”

“Let me see,” said the captain, walking behind Mackenzie. “Stars, that was under your foot!?”

“Yeah,” said Mackenzie, “it’s worse than it looks, too. You see this dark hoof horn above where I opened the abscess just on the border? It got darker as I thinned it out, so it’s not pigment. It means there’s a cavity under there, and all this horn is detached and needs to be removed,” ke explained as ke lifted the detached horn around the abscess and cut it off in circular cuts with the hook of the knife, revealing more pus and opening the hole.

After just a few cuts, ke revealed the abscess stretched the entire width of the sole horn, and then ke started shaving down the horn between the abscess and the heel to remove the bulk of it.

“Now that I’ve revealed the abscess,” ke continued to explain, “I know how much I can shave off. Fortunately, it seems to be only filled with pus. I haven’t found any lesions or ulcers. It’s just a giant cavity.”

“What could’ve caused it?”

“Probably an accident,” ke said, “could’ve bumped the hoof against something or turned too sharply on a corner. With regular trimming, it could’ve been nipped in the bud before it was a problem, but without it, it just got worse and worse.”

“And at the heel, there’s this detached horn I can just lift up, which tells me,” ke said as ke put the knife under the horn and cut down, “that it goes all the way to the abscess.”

“That’s the entire foot,” said the captain.

“Yep,” said Mackenzie, “can’t imagine trying to walk on that.”

“I don’t need to imagine,” said Jósűrha.

Mackenzie started trimming the good hoof, getting rid of the crack and modeling out the area with the bruised horn to take some of the weight off that area, and then searching through the med kit to find something to help grind the tips of the toes to bring both claws to the same length. The “grinder” at the bottom of the med kit wasn’t as good as the grinder ke used to use on cows on the farm, which ke was more than happy to complain about.

Once it was suitably prepared, ke put on a different, curved block that would avoid the bruised horn area on the good claw. Ke pressed it into the claw for 30 seconds to make sure the glue bond was secure.

“So given your foot’s condition. I’m going to have to cut most of your ship duties. Rest up and heal. Understood?”

“Yes captain.”

“And Mackenzie, you’re doing a great job, even though it’s not the job you were hired for.”

“Thanks, captain,” ke said, nodding.

“You know, speaking of routine care important for the health and comfort of our officers, Katársmun has a condition that prevents xe from shedding xis coat when xe should. You wouldn’t know how to do a full body shave, would you?

“Hmm, if it’s like shearing a sheep, then I could take to xem about it. I’d want to take a course on it and get more familiar Katársmun’s species first if xe doesn’t need shearing now.”

“Of course, it’s just something I wanted to mention. Well, as you were. I’ll call the cleaning bot to take care of the mess,” said the captain gesturing to the pus and cut horn on the floor.

As the captain left, ke stopped pressing into the block and tested its fit to make sure it was secure, then ke dressed the bad claw with supplies from the med kit. “Okay, I’m going to put your foot down. Try to stand on it in a way that feels natural.” Ke put zir foot down and checked the angle. It was steep enough for a cow but not enough for a Zágjós. Ke pulled the foot back on the stand and started cutting the block to adjust the angle.

When ke put the hoof down again, the angle was perfect, and Jósűrha didn’t feel any pain. It was almost unreal after feeling that pressure in zir hoof for so long. “Now for the other claws since you did say you haven’t gotten a trim in a while. I’m start with the back left.”

Jósűrha didn’t have a way to argue with that. “That’s fine,” ze said as Mackenzie moved to the back left foot and started trimming. “There’s a little bruising on the inner sole area that I can model out, and some overgrowth on the toes. Remember to tell me if there’s any soreness or pain.”

“Sure. That foot feels fine.”

“Good. It’s nice working on someone who can talk to me for a change.”

“People are better clients than cows are, aren’t they?”

“Well, yeah, and people are also polite enough to not start pooping while I’m doing their back legs.”

Ze suppressed a chitter and tried to keep zir foot very still as ke worked. Yes, asking the human crewmember was the best choice.

[allgoodjedi]

“…we came prepared to deal with Jedi.”

Quick fanart dedicated to @mostthingskenobi and their fic “The Jedi and His Duchess” which happens to be one of my favorite fics of all time! (*Maybe* only beat out by their other fic series “The Dark Side of Obi-Wan Kenobi” 😉) Seriously, friends, I cannot recommend these enough!

If this piece makes you curious about what’s happening, go read and support their hard work on this fic and then come back to this to see if you can find all the hidden details!

Also, I’m horrible about sizing my art to keep it high quality when posted, so click and enlarge to get the full resolution!…Someday, I’ll get it right 😣

[mattbegins]

My fics are so self indulgent and that means when I write about the states of decay and condition of the bodies post mortem I write them accurate

[tachocracy]

Guess the stars are right--suddenly the Transformers Prime section of AO3 is full of fantastic Knock Out/Breakdown fic. Haven’t read it all yet, but I can already tell where my afternoon is gonna go.

At some point I’ve gotta put together that recs list.

(Particular shout-outs to @blueskyscribe and @cassettemoon.)

[24hs]

i love tumblr user @nefot

❤️ 💛 💚 💙 💜  ❣️ 💕 💞 💓 💗 💖 💘 💝 💟 ❤️ 💛 💚 💙 💜  ❣️ 💕 💞 💓 💗 💖 💘 💝 💟 ❤️ 💛 💚 💙 💜  ❣️ 💕 💞 💓 💗 💖 💘 💝 💟 ❤️ 💛 💚 💙 💜  ❣️ 💕 💞 💓 💗 💖 💘 💝 💟 ❤️ 💛 💚 💙 💜  ❣️ 💕 💞 💓 💗 💖 💘 💝 💟 ❤️ 💛 💚 💙 💜  ❣️ 💕 💞 💓 💗 💖 💘 💝 💟 ❤️ 💛 💚 💙 💜  ❣️ 💕 💞 💓 💗 💖 💘 💝 💟 ❤️ 💛 💚 💙 💜  ❣️ 💕 💞 💓 💗 💖 💘 💝 💟 ❤️ 💛 💚 💙 💜  ❣️ 💕 💞 💓 💗 💖 💘 💝 💟 ❤️ 💛 💚 💙 💜  ❣️ 💕 💞 💓 💗 💖 💘 💝 💟 ❤️ 💛 💚 💙 💜  ❣️ 💕 💞 💓 💗 💖 💘 💝 💟 ❤️ 💛 💚 💙 💜  ❣️ 💕 💞 💓 💗 💖 💘 💝 💟

[drwcn]

How to Write a Realistic Hospital Au/Setting

Because I’m frustrated with real life work stuff :( I’ve decided to distract myself by doing this. Disclaimer: I obviously only have my own country (the Handsome Ryan Factory) as reference, so if this isn’t how it is where you’re from, sorry. :/

The Environment

Hospitals do not smell like disinfectants. Hospitals smells like....nothing. If it’s a nice hospital and the facilities are relatively new/renovated, hospitals are generally scentless places (the ventilation system is better). The only time it’ll smell like disinfectants is when the housekeeping staff just cleaned a room after a patient has been discharged. Older hospitals and units like internal medicine which takes care of a lot of longer term patients and older folks smell...well not great. It seems like people and bodily fluids.  

Hospitals are cold. The OR is even colder (unless for whatever reason you need it to be warm for a specific procedure). 

Background noise. There are machines making noises the background, little beeps of the IV pumps or the heart monitor. Normal beeps are slow, alerts are fast. 

Intercom - every time something happens that requires a code to be called, it’ll come on the intercom and the entire hospital hears it. Common ones are: code blue = adult cardiac arrest (ex: Code Blue - K6, Code Blue K6) They tell you what the code is and where to go. The code team (usually an ICU team) will show up. Code pink = neonatal cardiac arrest. Code red = fire. Code yellow = missing patient. Code white = violent encounter (security will be called up). Code orange = external disaster (a train derailed). Code Silver = deadly weapons (gun, knife). Code Brown = hazardous spill. Code Black - bomb threat/suspcious object. Code Green= evacuation Etc. 

There will be rooms on “precaution”. Signs will show up on certain doors/rooms, because that patient might have some kind of communicable disease through contact/droplet/air. 

The Staff

Nurses are not rude (unless you’re writing a rude character). I see a lot of “the good tough nurse” caricatures where it’s like jab and shove - No. A good nurse can be assertive, can be knowledgeable, can be no non-sense, but they shouldn’t be rude and patient consent is always present. If a patient says they don’t want a shot, they don’t get the shot. No matter how seasoned, how tough, how burned out a nurse is, everyone is habituated to start a conversation with introducing themselves. “Hi, Mr/Ms/Mrs/Miss ____, my name is _______ and I will be your nurse today.” Once the nurse and the patient is acquainted with each other, they can be a little bit more casual. 

Hand washing is a constant thing. The most often thing you see is staff rubbing their hands together in and out of rooms because they just pumped a handful of hand sanitizer. 

There are other people other than the medical and nursing staff. Personal Support Workers (PSWs) are very present and they help with the washing and the bathing, and changing incontinence briefs. Nurses also do this as well in some hospitals. You might see Nurse Managers come around for administrative stuff (ie discharge), Physiology Therapy and Occupational Therapist will make their rounds on those that need it (especially after an accident), Speech Language Pathologists for those with swallowing problems after a stroke. Social Worker for those who are going through a difficult life situation. 

The medical team gets confusing. Because there are medical students (clerks), junior residents, senior residents, and there are attendings. Your patient character can be confused. 

Internal Medicine - the “ologys” : general internal medicine is where typically a lot of folks get admitted. The doctors who take care of these people are internists. Other popular sub specialties of internal medicine that sometimes get their own wing/unit are: cardiology, neurology, respirology and oncology. If a specific specialty is needed, the doctors of that specialty is paged for a consult.  

Surgery - do not have every surgical specialty in one team. That’s not how the surgical teams are divided. If one of your character is in Gen surg, and the other is in Neuro, they’re not gonna be spending their day constantly bumping into each other unless their surgeries are adjacent OR rooms for some reason. Their patients probably won’t even be on the same unit. 

If you’re writing surgery, don’t forget Anesthesiology. Patients coming out of surgeries can either go to PACU  Post Anesthesia Care Unit or the ICU (intensive care unit). 

Specialists can read scans by themselves, but most of them time, they need a Radiologist to do it. Biopsies are processed and read by pathologists. 

The Action 

If a patient flat lines, don’t “shock” or defibrillate them. TV shows constantly gets it wrong. The only two shock-able rhythms are ventricular fibrillation (V-fib) and ventricular tachycardia (v-tach). (There are other pathological rhythms that require cardioversion, but we won’t get into it). Your fictional patient could still have a rhythm and be unconscious. 

If a patient is unconscious or has either V-fib or V-tach or flatlined, call Code Blue. Literally have one of your character say it, “Call Code Blue.” Or press the code blue button that’s above the bed on the wall. 

If a patient flat-lines, your characters should start CPR and inject epinephrine (1mg and every 3-5 minutes). 

Don’t “lost 3L of blood”. If they did...they’re gone. Exsanguinated...unless they’re being transfused at the same time. A 70 kilo man typically has 5L of blood. A lot of preg fics have the woman lose a ton of blood during childbirth. Remember 500cc or 500 mL of blood in a nonsurgical setting is considered hemorrhage, and 1L in surgical setting. As a 5′3′’ female I can tell you I probably only have 2-3L of blood in my body. 

Things to talk about in conversation between two staff: heart rate (normal in adult 60-100), blood pressure (ex” 120/80 systolic/diastolic) normal systolic 100-140 normal diastolic 60-90); respiratory rate (normal 12-20 per minute), O2Sat (you want most people above 95%), temperature.

Red blood cell count and hemoglobin being low indicate anemia. High white blood cell count typically mean infection. Electrolytes can be out of wack: sodium, potassium, calcium, magnesium, are some of the typical ones. Blood pH can be either high or low. High pH is alkalosis. Low pH is acidosis. 

Hypothermia (because this is a popular one). Don’t do what Rose did in Titanic. You’re not dead until you’re warm and dead. Rewarming for severe hypothermia should be slow and in a hospital setting. For mild to moderate hypothermia, if it helps with your plot, yeah they can cuddle skin to skin.