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#take my online calculus class
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jittyjames · 3 months
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why do i, an english/theatre major have to take calculus??? I WILL GENUINELY NEVER USE THAT. THIS IS SO HOMOPHOBIC. THIS IS GOING TO MAKE ME LOSE MY 4.0 I CAN FEEL IT.
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takemyonline-exams · 2 months
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essaywritinghelp · 8 months
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chunghasweetie · 4 months
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𝐂𝐀𝐍’𝐓 𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐈𝐓 𝐆𝐎 | J.JK
— part 2
— pairing | dom!oc x nerdy sub!jjk
— summary | loser nerd jk has crushed on her for years and is assigned to be her college tutor for her calculus class. studying doesn’t go exactly as planned and he ends up losing his virginity in the best way possible.
— warning | bad writing (i’m doing my best)
virginity loss, cussing, corruption kink, female dom, light dirty talk, belittling, dick sucking, unprotected sex, etc
— word count | 3.5k words
— song suggestion | rush — william singe
His nerves were tingling with anxiety. He had imagined a day like this since he laid eyes on her.
His crush first stemmed from middle school. Then it followed him through high school, and now his college career.
Y/n had always been the typical token super pretty and popular girl. She was funny too, he couldn’t help but giggle to himself when she was making jokes with her friends across the room.
Jungkook was beyond nervous. He’s had a crush on her forever, and now he was standing in front of her home for their very first tutoring session.
Jungkook had arrived at Y/n’s home, exhaling to himself. “I can do this.” He mumbled before knocking on her door.
The door opened and there she was. A short denim mini skirt and a matching top.
He was already done for.
“Oh hey Jungkook.” She smiled, “You’re here already. I didn’t think you’d be early. Come in.”
He feels his heart skip a beat as Y/n opens the door, a genuine smile spreading across his face.
“H-hi! Yes, it's me” He clears his throat. “Thank you for inviting me inside.” He steps inside, taking in the sight of her apartment.
“Of course.” She led him to the dining room table her hips swaying in her mini skirt that showed off her figure beautifully.
His eyes widen and follow her every move, watching as she leads him to the dining room table.
He can't help but feel a rush of excitement as he takes in the sight of her hips swaying in her skirt.
He had never imagined they’d be in such a small space. Alone with her. His heart could almost explode with excitement.
Her home didn’t look much like the google maps photos like he seen online.
“Is right here okay?” She asked him, her table with the notebooks and studying material she needed already set up.
He swallows hard and nods, feeling his cheeks heat up. “I-It’s fine.”
The two sat at her table studying, Jungkook using more complex language than she was used to.
She could grasp some of it, but Y/n wasn’t necessarily the strongest in the subject.
“I’ve always sucked at math. Let alone calculus.” She laughed. “It must be nice to know everything.”
He chuckles nervously, shaking his head. “No, not everything. Just... some things. Math is definitely my strong suit.” He takes a deep breath, gathering his composure before turning his attention to her math homework “Okay, let's continue.”
She simply nodded. She leaned closer to him, reading the book that was further in his direction.
Her breasts were huge. He wondered how her posture managed to stay so straight with those jugs weighing her down.
Her right breast was pressed against his shoulder, driving him crazy.
He tries to focus on the homework, but finds himself distracted by her low cut top and her large breasts on view.
He can't help but glance, feeling his face flush with embarrassment as he realizes she might notice. “Uh, so... uh...”
“Are you okay?” Y/n asked him.
“Yes.” He cleared his throat.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, yes I'm fine. It's just... uh... hot in here.” He tries to refocus on her homework assignment, but his mind keeps drifting to her body and how close she's standing next to him.
“I’ll go turn the ac on” She got up, hips swaying as she went to turn on the AC. She eventually came back. “Better?” She sat back down.
‘Someone kill me.’ Jungkook thought to himself.
He tries to focus on the books and studying material, but his gaze keeps drifting back to her exposed thighs and the way her skirt rides up
He nods, grateful for the cooler air. He watches as she sits back down next to him, hips swaying in a way that makes his heart race.
“This is so hard” She groaned. “Calculus is so difficult.”
He nods in agreement, trying to stifle a smile at her cute groan. “Yeah, uh... It can be tough sometimes.”
He starts going over the problem with her, letting his hand rest on hers gently as he points out what she did wrong.
“I think it’s the table.” She tells him. “I focus more on my bed, it’s where I’m most comfortable. Jungkook, would you be okay studying there with me?” Y/n suggested.
His heart races at the thought of having her in a more private setting, but he knows he shouldn't let his crush get the best of him.
He nods and starts gathering the homework assignments and books. “Yeah— sure, let's move to the couch.”
She smirked to herself on the way to her bedroom. Her plan was working perfectly, and working quicker than she expected.
His eyes widened at her room. He was finally inside. He always seen a few corners when he was stalking her Instagram late at night, but now being there in person sent him over the edge.
It was so her. The decorations, the layout, the scent. It was perfectly her.
“Much better” She sat down on her bed, starting to write in her notes with him.
He watches as she writes, trying not to get too distracted by the way her hair falls over her shoulders and the way she bites her lip in concentration.
He clears his throat and starts going over the problems again, trying to focus on the homework instead of his crush.
About an hour had passed of them studying, and she was beyond bored. Y/n was over hearing about stupid questions she had no interest in finding the solution for.
“Like I said, when you plug in the formula—“
“Don’t you have a girlfriend waiting on you?” Y/n interrupted him. “You’ve been here for a while.”
“I-I don’t have one.” He swallowed. “And I told the professor I’d spend as much time as needed for you to pass.”
He was still talking about school, making her boredom increase. “Do you do anything outside of school?” She changed the topic.
He blinks at her, surprised by the sudden question. He fidgets with his glasses and stammers a bit before answering. “I...I go to the internet cafe with my friends and do coding and stuff.. I help code games and such. It's...it's not very exciting, but it keeps me busy.”
“Cute.” She chuckled. “So you’re like a full time nerd?”
He blushes at her teasing and nods, looking down at his hands. “Y-yes, I suppose you could say that. I do enjoy learning and electronics...and working on computers gives me a chance to use my skills to help others. It's...it's important to me.“
“Is that why you’re single?” She asked him. “Too busy studying and programming?”
He nodded.
Wasn’t necessarily the entire truth. Some of the other girls at the cafe definitely took an interest but he was all about you.
He was a quiet guy but he always spoke up about you. All of his friends at the internet cafe knew about his crush on you. He would be teased daily because well, look at him and you.
He didn’t care. He knew from the start it wasn’t realistic considering the crowds you stuck around with.
Jungkook would rather be at home with his computer while you’d be parting with sororities and frat boys.
“You’re a busy guy hm? Well when was the last time you’ve had a girlfriend?” Y/n asked him, moving the text books as she inched closer.
“I-I— Well.” He swallowed, “I’ve never had one before..” He itched the back of his neck.
Her eyes widened. “You can’t be serious.”
“It just— never happened.” He told her.
“That’s just so hard to believe.” She analyzed him with her feline like eyes.. “I think you’re really handsome and cute.”
“Really?” His voice came out a lot louder than he meant to, clearing his throat. “Y-You do?”
She nodded, “I always have.” She suddenly climbed on his lap, making Jungkook let out a slight gasp in surprise.
He looks up at her in surprise, his heart beating faster at her words. He stammers out a thank you, feeling his face heat up again. “I...I'm...I'm glad you think so...”
“It’s okay if I sit here right?” She asked, making him nod rather quickly.
“Good.” She giggled. “So you’ve never had a girlfriend… you at least have lost your virginity right?”
Jungkook looked away shyly. “N-No..”
She had always had the reputation of being the popular pretty girl. Her entire friend group and social circle was like that. So naturally it was expected for her to end up with a frat guy.
Y/n had been with a few, and was absolutely bored out of her mind. They were cocky and disgusting, seeming to like their bros more than actual women.
She had no interest in anyone like that.
She always had a thing for nerdy and loser men who looked like they had never had a chance with losing their virginity.
Her friends were always teasing her about her type. No one could understand how she could really be attracted to a guy like that.
Y/n noticed Jungkook towards her sophomore year of high school. He had always been attractive to her but she really took a notice to him at that time.
He was tall, handsome, and quiet. Super shy. The only time she had seen him really talk was during a history presentation when he had to read off some slides.
Her horny teenage brain definitely took notice towards the bulge in his pants whenever she looked his way.
Y/n was always with her friend group and Jungkook was always in way better and smarter classes than her. He never had any social media either, so she never had the chance to really make a move on him.
It was now their junior year in college and once she heard he was assigned to be her tutor, she had to do something.
Jungkook had hardly ever kissed a girl. A girl pecked his lips in his junior year of high school and he absolutely hated it.
Hated it because it wasn’t her.
She shifts on his lap. “That’s so cute. Are you waiting for someone to take it?”
He nodded quickly. He was hard as a rock. Her skirt was practically all the way lifted as she sat on his lap, driving him insane.
“Mm I’d be honored to volunteer.” She suggested.
“T-Take it— P-please.” He was practically whimpering out to her.
She didn’t waste her time, leaning forward to kiss his lips. She wasn’t too rough on him, but she definitely was working her lips on his.
“Gonna make you feel real good.” She smacked her lips against his, grabbing his hands, placing them over her ass cheeks. “Grab it okay?”
Jungkook bent his fingers, now holding her ass in his hands.
She traveled her lips down to the crook of his neck, creating a trail of dark hickeys.
Y/n was grinding on his lap with her skirt on as she marked up his neck. “No hickeys before either?”
There was no way this was really happening. Jungkook could go into shock. This was even better than he had ever imagined.
His breathing becomes heavier and heavier as she grinds on his lap, feeling the friction between their bodies.
He moans as she marks up his neck, his mind clouded with pleasure. He whimpers as she asks about hickeys, shaking his head slightly. “N-no...”
“You’re so much more vocal than I imagined. and I’m just kissing you.” She giggled.
He blushes profusely as she speaks about his vocalness, feeling embarrassed at how turned on he is by her touch.
He looks up at her as she pulls away from his neck, seeing the marks she left on his skin.
“So cute..” She pulled away from his neck. “All marked up, it looks intense.” She grabbed her handheld mirror, showing him what she did to him.
He gulps, reaching up to touch them gently. seeing the marks she left on his skin. He gulps, reaching up to touch them gently.
“You’re comfy right baby?” She asked him, making sure he was at ease while she tainted him.
“I-I’m fine.” He shakes his head, leaning into her touch as she runs her fingers through his hair. “N-no... it just... makes me want more... of you...” He confesses, feeling vulnerable and honest in front of her.
“You’re more than ready to lose your virginity huh baby?” She baby talked him. “Poor baby wants to be touched so bad.”
He blushes deeply at her words, nodding slowly. He's been a virgin for so long and he wants nothing more than to experience it with her.
“Y-yes...” He stammers, his voice barely above a whisper. I want to... be with you...”
“I’m almost there sweetheart. You’re doing so good being patient for me.” She comforted, seeing how whiny and desperate he was. It didn’t help that he was incredibly hard under her.
Her praises were driving him insane and she hadn’t even took his pants off yet. “Wha— What now?” He asks softly, hoping he doesn't sound too desperate.
She was practically drooling over the sight of him. His dick had been teasing her for centuries through his jeans, and she finally had it at her disposal.
He lets out a involuntary gasp as she unzips his pants and pulls out his dick. He blushes as she compliments him on his size. He never thought anyone would say that about him. “I-it's not that big...”
“You’re so humble.” She smirked. “I don’t even think I’ll be able to fit it inside me or my mouth.” She chuckled. “Let me know if it’s too much. Mm gonna sit on it first okay? Don’t have a condom so you’re going to have to pull out when you feel it okay?”
He nodded eagerly. “I-I’ll try my best.”
“That’s all I can ask of you.” She latched her lips onto his lips once more before sliding herself onto him, making their lips disconnect from their moans.
He was a mess from the start. Her pussy was so tight and wet, driving him insane.
He had always imagined what it would feel like but this was even better.
“O-Oh wow.” He whined, “F-Feels so t-tight”
Y/n bounced on him slowly, allowing him to feel all of her.
“It’s good huh baby?” Y/n cooed. “You’re so big baby”
“Mmph— it’s so wet—“ He whimpered.
He lets out a gasp, his hands instinctively reaching out to grab onto her hips for support. "F-fuck!"
She was moving her hips in a rhythmic motion that sent waves of pleasure coursing through his entire body. He moans softly, biting his lip to keep from making too much noise.
Y/n took a notice of his actions. “Don’t want you being quiet. I’ve waited so long to have you like this.” She stopped moving on top of him.
Jungkook's eyes snap open as Y/n stops moving, his cock throbbing with need and frustration at the sudden lack of stimulation.
He looks up at her with a desperate expression, pleading for her to continue with his actions. "P-please..."
She grabbed his neck subtly, not enough to really hurt him. She turned his chin to the side, “Covered you in so many hickeys, all for you to be quiet now?”
Jungkook's heart races as Y/n grabs his neck, a small whimper escaping his lips at the touch. He looks at her with a mixture of surprise and arousal, his mind racing at the sudden change in her demeanor. "I-I'm sorry...”
“What’re you going to do differently if I keep moving?” She growled into his ear. “Tell me. Use that pretty mouth.”
Jungkook's breath hitches as Y/n growls in his ear, his heart pounding in his chest. He swallows hard, trying to find the words to answer her question. "I-I'll... I'll make more noise...”
“Good boy…” She began moving again, “Mm— feels so good” Y/n moaned into his ear.
Jungkook's eyes roll back in pleasure as Y/n begins moving again, her moans in his ear sending chills down his spine.
He grips the sheets beneath him tightly, his body trembling with need as she bouncing on him. "F-fuck...I— never imagined p-pussy would be this good”
His desperate pleas sent her over the edge. She loved how he was so whiny and desperate all for her.
“Never baby?” She hummed, her voice sensually whispering against his ear.
Jungkook lets out a low groan as Y/n’s words register in his head, his mind filled with filthy thoughts. He nods his head, unable to find the words to speak. "N-no... I never thought... f-fuck..."
He was absolutely pussydrunk, the feeling of his cock being sunk into her pussy made him go insane.
If he was already obsessed with her before, he knew he was absolutely fucked now. “I-I m-might… mmgh…”
She knew how lost he was in her pussy, knowing he was close to cumming at any second.
She quickly got up off his cock, making him whimper at the sudden separation.
“Can’t have you cum inside baby.” She hushed him, knowing he was about to complain.
“I-I want to cum so bad— Please let me” He whined.
“You’re gonna cum baby. I wouldn’t do that to you.” She made her way off his lap.
She got in between his legs and on her knees. “Gonna suck you off pretty boy.”
She had no problem sucking him off after he was just inside of her. She opened her mouth, licking his tip to test the waters.
He can't help but moan as she licks his tip. He doesn't know what came over him, he bites his lip as she starts bobbing her head up and down on him.
He lets out a deep moan as she takes him all in. He's never felt anything like this before. He tries to hold back, but he can feel himself already getting close. He whined, warning her that he's about to cum.
She let him cum all in her mouth, not dare wasting a single drop as she swallowed.
He couldn’t believe what just happened. He's cumming in her mouth and she's swallowing every drop. He's never felt so satisfied in his life. He pulls out and pants. “Thank you... that was amazing.”
He was so infatuated with her. He had been beating his dick for years, whining and whimpering in his bedroom at merely the idea of his dick being sucked by her.
He blushes and stutters, trying to find the words. He can't believe what just happened.
“Y-you.. it was... amazing. I don't know what to say. Thank you.” He turns to face her, his eyes filled with gratitude as he repeated his thanks.
The two hung out for a bit longer, actually getting her tutoring done. She giggled. “i’ll see you at school tomorrow.” She waved as they bid their goodbyes.
He smiles and nods, still in shock about what happened. “Y-yeah, see you then.” He watches her shut the door, his heart racing with excitement. He can't believe she just sucked his dick, took his virginity, and then he was back to tutoring her.
His dreams finally came true.
༊—
The next day she was walking with her friends, and seemed to pass Jungkook’s friends group. She could hear Jungkook’s friends teasing him.
“Bro you have a hickey?!” They stared at his neck in amazement, adjusting their glasses to look closely.
Like stated, they were nobodies. All of them. Never had any interactions with women in their lives.
Jungkook covers his neck with his hand, trying to hide the hickey. He didn't realize it was so obvious, but he's glad he got it. He can't stop thinking about last night and her. “Sh-shut up gu-guys!”
His face turns bright red, shushing them and trying to avoid any more attention. “F-Fuck this is embarrassing.” He can't help but think about her again and the amazing time they had last night. He's already looking forward to seeing her again and continuing their tutoring sessions.
Y/n’s friends looked over at the boys. “What do you think that’s all about?” They asked amongst themselves.
“Why does it matter? Probably just some boring video game release. Or maybe a new textbook was added to the library!” One of the girls laughed.
Y/n couldn’t help but chuckle to herself, knowing damn well there would be more where that came from.
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keyboard-smash-heh · 2 years
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I forgot how creative I get when forced to do math, I haven’t taken a math class in a while.
Anyway, introducing Octopup, the horrifically adorable lab experiment!
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mv1simp · 27 days
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Just Hold On, We’re Going Home ♥️
Max Verstappen x Fiancé! Reader
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I got my eye on you, you’re everything that I see (I want your hot love and emotion, endlessly)
After a particularly bad argument with his father, Max is mentally checked out and needs to be pulled out of the dark place his mind has gone too. As his fiancé, you know just what to say to make him feel your love and bring him safely home.
Content includes: 18+ MDNI, smut, size kink, orgasm denial, I know I said I would never write subby max and that was apparently a LIE, but he’s more of a soft pure loverboy who needs you ok, you both have daddy issues, mild angst and childhood trauma, 3.1k WC
You can tell your fiancé’s mind is somewhere else right now, instead of at the intimate dinner you’re sharing at a cosy restaurant. You know this because you know Max well, having been friends before you two started dating, meeting as mutuals within the same extended group, and then online where you would both take a break from your demanding careers to enjoy a friendly grand theft auto competition.
Your friendship had gotten closer when you’d proved to be someone he could trust and always rely on. Especially when it came to talking about his father - a very multi layered relationship given that Max owed a large part of his F1 success to Jos’s discipline and the fact that, well, said discipline had involved emotional abuse on a good day and physical abuse on a bad one. It was a complex dynamic to unpack, and one that he didn’t really do with anyone - because he couldn’t trust anyone outside his family to not leak it to the media somehow. And within his family, the only one who came close to understanding was his little sister Victoria - who wanted to talk about it just as little as Max did.
However, you knew a thing or two about complex relationships with parents, growing up in a household with a luxury property developer tyrant of a father, and a homemaker mother who would never dare come between her husband and his demands for absolute perfection from his children, especially from you - the eldest. Similarly to Max, you owed a large part of your highly successful investment company and Oxford financial degree to your father’s attitude, which had been so sweet on days you performed, and then like a dark thunderstorm on the days you didn’t.
So you’d been the only one to see the look in Max’s eye one night when he’d had one too many to drink at a house party, and had wandered out into the garden by himself. You’d spotted him leaving, already having a growing soft spot for your friend at that stage, and had followed him out. It had taken you a while to find him amongst the dark sprawling bushes, but when you did, you promptly sat down next to the much taller Dutchman and didn’t ask him anything. Instead, you told him about the time you’d scored 99.9 on a notoriously difficult advanced calculus exam, and you’d proudly told your father about the result of your months of study, top in your class - and he’d responded by coldly demanding why you didn’t get the 100. What’d you say to him? Max slurred, morbidly intrigued by the story.
Nothing, I was way too upset I'd disappointed him. But I did go fight the Mathematics head professor about giving me the extra 0.1. You shrugged, telling him you probably should’ve just gone to frickin family therapy instead and saved yourself arguing for 45 minutes only to find out 99.9 was the highest possible mark anyways.
Max looked at you, blue eyes intense in the moonlight. You in turn looked back at him with nervous doe eyes, and when he didn’t say anything, anxiously started apologising. Perhaps you’d read his emotions wrong, you didn’t mean to overstep and relate to his own relationship with his father-
Max cuts you off to explain what had been on his mind. I’m sorry, you - you argued for 45 minutes with the department head for an extra 0.1? On top of 99.9? This time, when your gazes meet, you both burst into drunk giggles at the sheer absurdity of a five foot nothing, 15 year old schoolgirl going toe to toe with a grumpy old professor for such a thing.
He’d started opening up to you after that, bit by bit peeling back the onion layers, because you always met his confessions with no judgement because this was his narrative, and helped him reflect on his emotions and understand why, 20 years on, he still couldn't accept a compliment but easily responded to insults. And when you two finally became a couple after a very convoluted weekend in Ibiza - involving multiple schemes from both parties, various slutty outfit choices from Max that showed off his abs, and your use of one (1) Charles Leclerc to make his Dutch childhood karting rival jealous (a story for another time) - you’d heard the full tale of what Max’s upbringing had been like.
And now, 5 years on from the infamous Ibiza weekend, and sitting across from him at dinner as his fiancée, you know instantly from the look in his eyes what's troubling him. You touch his large hand gently to draw him back in, and with a startle he comes back to you, apologising. It’s been a shit last few races, yeah? You start, going straight to the source of his worries. And now a big one this weekend, Zandvoort, your home race.
Max sighs, nodding, grateful for your ability to pick up on what's on his mind without him needing to say it. On your drive home he rants passionately about all the bullshit decisions his team has been making and the problems with the car he's asked to get fix for months. You soothe him reassuringly, rubbing his hand where it rests firmly on your thigh as his other drives, chiming in to agree with his critiques and make him laugh with jokes to diffuse his tension.
And that night he shows you just how thankful he is for all your understanding, picking you up in a display of strength that always has you needy and dripping for him. He smirks as you beg him to take you to bed and fuck me, please Maxie, after he has you breathlessly stretched out on his large, thick fingers. Like the good fiance he is he gives you what you want, all his stress melting away with each strong thrust into your small frame underneath him, your tiny hands clinging desperately to his broad shoulders.
You're furious the next morning when you wake up to multiple calls that there'd been a massive PR scandal within one of your principal investing companies, sending your high profile clients into panic - including your father, who demanded you fly out to London right now to sort this out. You'd been ready to send your executive manager out instead, not wanting to miss this important race for Max - but he'd chuckled and reassured you he was sure he could handle it - having done some odd 200 races or another. So after giving him a guilty kiss, you two fly off in opposite directions. You'd meant to have arrived to the paddock by Saturday noon at the latest, in time for qualifying at least, but London takes longer than expected. You don't come until halfway through the race on Sunday, and see him take P2 after multiple mistakes on the track - both from him and his team. Despite the objectively good result, you know Max would not be pleased. Seeing the stormy expression on his face on the podium after he'd tersely greeted you post-race, you give him his space to cool off, knowing it's not personal. Instead you catch up with the other WAGs and laugh at Charles who still faintly blushes at the sight of you, thinking about Ibiza. But later, when you head to the Redbull garage, you hear raised voices arguing in Dutch - before Jos emerges from Max's room and storms away. You pause before deciding to go in, gently asking how he's doing.
Max, as you expected, scoffs and sarcastically asks how do you think he's doing. You continue reassuring him, being used to seeing him like this after a bad race, and place a soft hand on his shoulder to soothe him - only for him to rip it off you almost violently, making you flinch in surprise. He yells at you to stop pretending like you understood a damn thing, as if you'd have any idea what kind of high pressure he has to deal with compared to your comfortable office job.
You manage to hold it together as you tell him you're going to leave, you'll be flying back to Monaco to sort out your work and will talk to him once he's calmed down. He rolls his eyes, telling you to get out, then and you make sure you're well away from the paddock and in the privacy of a car before you left yourself cry. Max had definitely been angry around you before, even enraged - but you'd never felt the full brunt of it come out and attack you so directly. Taking a deep breath, you focus on calming yourself down, as the argument brings up your anxieties from your own father - who had no problem raising his voice when he was angry. By the time you land in Monaco, you're ready to head back to the office.
The next day as you're coming home from work, unlocking the door to your shared apartment with Max, you stumble forward when the door is yanked open. On the other side is your rather panicked looking fiancee, who says that he'd thought that you- he swallows, looking like he was about to be sick -that you'd left. Forever. Perplexed, you tell him that you’d never do that, not without talking to him, and he launches into a frantic apology, saying that he regretted his words so much, that you didn't deserve to have him take his anger out onto you. Grateful for the sincere apology, you let him know with a genuine smile, saying that you're completely okay now, you had understood he’d been frustrated in the heat of the moment.
But Max's worried looks at you don't stop as you wander off to take a shower and then continue over your favourite dinner that he'd cooked, uncomfortable with the compliments you gave him about it - as per usual, still struggling to accept a kind word about anything he did. When you feel his upset gaze on you again when you're cuddled against his shirtless chest, watching a movie, you decide enough is enough and pressed pause to gently ask him what was on his mind.
That I just let all my anger out onto you like that without any hesitation. And the things I said about your job not being important - God, it’s something my dad would have said. His guilt at having hurt you with his cruel words make his blue eyes bright with the threat of tears. He says he couldn't just accept that you'd let it go because you thought it was fine, because it wasn't, not really, don't ever let me speak to you like that again, schat.
Bringing yourself up to straddle your fiance's wide lap, you settle in comfortably and closely examine the helpless look in his pretty eyes. It's rare for Max to get so worked about something like this, being the rather laid back guy he is off the track. But when he does get like this, all pent up from stress, his father’s expectations heavy on one shoulder and the fear of turning out like him on the other, there’s very few ways to pull him out of his head. Gun to your head, you’ll admit, you had your own personal favourite method for helping Max unwind. Because on nights like these, it's the the only time he'll hand the control over to you in the bedroom and the only place where he'll accept your compliments. With a teasing smile, you pepper him with gentle kisses, erasing away every tense line on his face.
Sure, Max you whisper breathily into his ear, biting the edge of it, I guess I did forgive you too easily. Maybe I should make you work for it, hmm? A delicious pink flush spreads across Max's cheeks, making you grin wickedly and press deep kisses into his soft mouth. He breathlessly whines when you pull away to tease your hand down his muscles chest, stopping just above his low waisted sweats. You can already feel how hard he is underneath you with the impressive semi he’s sporting. Choosing to ignore it, you climb off him and pull him along with you too. He follows you like a lost dog to where you walk over to the kitchen, dropping your hoodie as you went, to reveal a cute La Perla pink set underneath that he'd given you for an anniversary.
When you stop to lean against the counter, eyeing him coyly, he tilts his head down curiously - only to have you tangle your small hands through his messy, long locks and guide him all the way down, until he's on his knees below you. He looks positively delicious, all soft and flushed, as you coo that he needs to prove just how sorry he is, by putting that mean mouth of his to work and eating you out, yeah?
He nods eagerly, burying his large nose right into your core and breathing in, licking furiously through your thin panties and when he tries to yank the lacy garment out of the way, you swat his hand back, telling him no, not yet, he didn’t deserve it.
He whines openly then, teary and breathless against you as he kisses along your thighs, the swell of your ass, and then to your delicate ankle as you teasingly stop him coming any closer with a foot to his toned chest, your gold anklet dangling. Running a hand through his hair again, you tug on it firmly so you can smirk down at him when he begs you please, schat, I promise I’ll be s'good for you-
Your resolve is crumbling at seeing your normally in control fiancé reduced to putty in your small hands. Trying to maintain your willpower, you teasingly pull your pink bralette off first, enjoying the way Max's breath hitches, eyes wide with pure need, as he follows your hands ever so slowly slide your panties down your legs. But he still doesn't move, fists clenched into his thighs, desperate blue eyes looking up at you, waiting for your approval to touch you. You throw him a bone and slide one soft thigh over his broad shoulder, your other leg still leaning against the counter, giving him irresistible access to your dripping pussy. Go on then, baby, you tease, here's your reward.
He buries his tongue into you in half a millisecond, eating you out like he's kneeling at your altar and worshipping your thighs. His large hands squeeze your curvy ass, pulling you even closer onto his tongue as he hungrily eats you out like a starved man. You're moaning sweetly, telling him he's doing so good for you, it feels amazing, that you wonder how the world would react if they knew their favourite F1 champion was as good at eating pussy as he was at driving racecars.
Your praise has him keening, now desperately kissing and sucking your core, and somehow both your thighs have ended up draped across his strong shoulders, his large palms still squeezing your ass. This angle lets him slide in deeper than you’ve ever felt his mouth reach, face completely buried between your thick thighs, and with a few more talented flicks you’re lean back against the counter and squirting right onto his waiting tongue.
Dazed from the intensity of your orgasm, it takes you a few minutes to come down from your high, and Max slowly licks your clit in the meantime, toeing the line to overstimulation. Standing back up shakily from potentially the most mind blowing oral you've ever had in your life, you tilt his chin up to look at you with a gentle hand, giving him a kiss because he was such a good boy, all for me, yeah baby?
He nods furiously, almost looking like a cute Labrador with his blonde hair and blue eyes and you giggle at the mental image, telling him he’s earned his next treat. Max practically stumbles after you as you gently tug him up by his jaw and back over to the comfortable sofa, where he sits down after you playfully shove his chest. His muscular thighs spread wide to make a perfect throne for you to climb onto. He's still in his boxers, his bulge straining against the damp material, and you tease him with a smug smirk, asking if he'd already cum in his pants just from eating you out, like a dirty little perv?
He desperately moans out his No, no, promise I didn’t, held it all back to fill inside you, please- He becomes breathless from your mean hands that tease his cock further through his boxers. When he tried to redirect you, guiding your hand under his boxers to where he really needs it, you shove him away and tell him to keep his hands to himself. You demand to know why he thinks he deserves to put his gross, sticky cum anywhere near your sweet, precious hole, is he at least going to use some manners and ask politely?
Max pants, face flushed and blonde strands attractively stuck to his forehead as he feverishly begs you, please, schat, he needed to be inside of you so bad, he couldn't take it, hadn't he been so good for you already? You can tell your fiance is close to his tipping point, and you almost send him over the edge with a smooth motion as you slip his fully erect, huge cock out of his boxers and start lazily jerking him off. Sliding your fingers into his mouth for him to lick, you smirk as he does exactly that. Using his spit on your hands to give him a couple good pumps - making his breath hitch as he struggles to hold back his orgasm - you guide his throbbing length to your dripping pussy, which is so ready for a second round.
Max screws his eyes shut, head thrown back, as you wickedly torment him some more, dragging his tip teasingly along your puffy lips, drenching him with your slick. His hands dig into the sofa, desperately trying to resist the urge to touch you like you'd ordered him to earlier. And when you finally sink down on him, all the way to his base, he's moaning and begging again, tears in the corner of his eyes as you slowly ride him - edging his poor cock with the relief of your tight, warm cunny but not giving it quite enough pressure. And when your thighs are starting to get tired from the effort, and Max has ripped holes on your sofa while gripping the fabric, you know it's time to let him take control again.
Guiding his hands gently to your waist, you lean forward into his firm chest to whisper Maxie, baby, it's too much for you, can he please help you out and make you cum again-
His eyes snap open, wide blue eyes coming to stare into your pleading doe ones as you hand the power over to him, all dished up on a silver platter with a pretty please. He brings his forehead forward to lean against yours, your ragged breaths meeting as you feel shivers run up your spine in anticipation of what’s coming. Then, with an all too familiar smirk returning to his face, he tightens his hands into a bruising grip on your waist and easily begins bouncing you up and down on his fat cock. His wide thighs, which had been straining in an effort to hold back, now flex as he thrusts deeply into you from below, making you wail at the furious change in pace and you're screaming his name, proving once again just how good he makes you feel. You two barely last another few seconds before you're cumming, your name on his lips as he pumps an obscenely thick creampie into you.
You stay like that for a while, sweaty and tangled in each others arms, exchanging gentle kisses and loving affirmations with him still deep inside you, until sleep starts to take over. Later, after you'd showered because wow, that had been a particularly filthy session, you find yourself stroking his damp hair as he lies against your chest, the rest of his body on the bed to keep the weight off you. Thank you, liefje, he murmurs sleepily against you. At your inquisitive hmm? he presses a loving kiss to your skin, telling you his thanks was for always knowing how to calm me down. For always bringing me back home. I love you.
You smile in the dark, warmth blooming across your chest as you press a kiss to his head. Always, Max, just like you do for me. I love you too.
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A/N: SOO i never thought i'd write this but after zandervoot im manifesting the return of max supremacy with this. had to rewrite a bunch of times cause genuinly couldn’t picture max as sub instead of dom so lmk what u guys think!! Also… should i do a part 2 where its the reader with daddy issues instead hehehe 😼😼😮‍💨
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being-kindrad · 6 months
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Interest in a dedicated feminist online forum community?
What are women's thoughts here on an online feminist community, a forum (like phpBB for example), for discussions? Would enough women would be interested in this? Forum software has decreased in popularity, but is still used for niche subjects/communities. (Some real life examples: https://www.reef2reef.com/ and https://www.gardenstew.com/) I'm mildly interested in trying to set up forum software as a technical learning experience, but only if there would actually be interest in using it (because it would cost me money to buy a domain name and web hosting).
It seems like there are so little dedicated spaces for feminist women on the internet. Most feminist communities seem to be libfem, and/or plainly taken over by men (if they purport TWAW, then they definitely are taken over by men). Tumblr has a radfem community, but it's still part of a larger social media system which involves many TRAs (some of which harass radfems), and men, porn bots, etc. Ovarit is useful for consciousness raising, but it seems to me like the Overton window has been shifting towards more conservative takes than feminist ones, especially in how there appears to be more anti-trans takes on there than actual gender critical feminist ones, which kind of makes me bored of it. And so again, radfems are then stuck in a larger community, this one of conservative/non-feminist women, who are there because they dislike trans people and appear to have found a space where they can safely make fun of them and not actually to discuss gender critical content (the recent realization that I even need to be defending common feminist stances like women's right to abortion on Ovarit has been demoralizing). I basically want to make a place where feminist women can just take a break and not have to constantly be building up from ground zero, defending against TRA insults, arguing against conservative/right-wing rhetoric, and instead maybe discussing feminist topics or just chilling in some hobby forum sections or something, idk.
I was initially going to call it a "radfem community" but I see no reason for the community to not include women who identify more with other branches of feminism like gender critical feminism, black feminism, lesbian feminism, eco feminism, socialist feminism, intersectional feminism (I mean the original definition of intersectional, not "tumblrized intersectionality"), etc.
I think there would need to be some "gatekeeping" involved so that it doesn't end up filling up with neoliberal feminists ["choice feminism"] or "prolife feminists" [an oxymoron], so that would need to be figured out. This community would not be meant to be a place for feminists to have to hand-hold people and slowly explain over and over how gender is sexist, or how porn is misogyny, or how abortion is a part of women's healthcare and bodily autonomy. This place would be meant to be a solace from that. Imagine trying to participate in a Calculus class where people who haven't even taken algebra are constantly joining the class and asking "why the fuck are there letters with numbers in math now?!" The class would barely, if at all, progress. Likewise, this community would be for feminist women to have an agreed upon basis for basic feminist stances, and move forward with deeper analysis. There are plenty of other online communities for women who are new to (non-lib)feminism to learn about how "but I like wearing makeup, it's art" isn't a feminist stance. We don't need to keep spending finite energy hashing this out, we need to be able to move forward.
My basic thoughts so far:
It would be women-only. (But there would be no vetting that would involve requiring to share personal information, it would just be an honor system.)
I think there must be some basic feminist stances that members need to agree on, otherwise the community might as well just be a part of any mainstream social media platform. I would assume a decent starting point would be: gender critical, pro-choice, anti-prostitution, anti-pornography, anti-surrogacy, anti-beauty culture?
Some category ideas I have so far: feminism (with maybe different sections for the branches of feminism, and sections for discussing feminist books/websites/documentaries); politics (with sections for discussing or sharing news about feminist political topics like reproductive rights [for abortion, birth control, bodily autonomy], gender critical, surrogacy, prostitution, etc.; spirituality (for those who are into Wicca, or other spiritual beliefs); casual (for general chat, hobbies, music, arts, etc.)
So yeah, what are women's thoughts on here about this?
Would this type of community interest you?
What would you want to see in it?
What would you not want to see in it?
Has this been done before and I am just oblivious? (I tried searching for "feminist forum," but nothing relevant seem to come up.)
Am I naive and this is not going to work?
Please let me know! I welcome any opinions. Thank you. 💜
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sturnzyolo · 3 months
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Shadows
Matt Sturniolo x fem reader
Warnings: fluff, swearing, a little eerie scenery, crying, stress, bullying mention, comfort, anxiety, and slight obsession (anything else will be added in later parts)
slight summary/teaser: reader feels a significant connection to a particular classmate of hers, her teacher's favorite student. One day, when on her way home, she hears something.
⚠️ my first ever fic so don't hate if it's absolute shit although I take honors english + I will NOT be writing any smut, (sorry u horndoggaroonies) bc I believe my digital footprint is terrible as is, so. let's not add onto it!
(This part is mainly created on my computer so if anything's fucked up ill fix it on my phone)
PART 1
3rd person POV?
Matt didn't understand why he was so favored in his calculus class, he wasn't a nerd, although he seemed like one with his glasses and button-ups. It wasn't like he got every answer right, no not at all. He barely even paid attention in class, his mind wanders instead.
Mr. Robinson has always been overly kind to Matt, he would have him stay after class or during passing period just to talk about how Matt was doing. Matt would constantly get a run down about Mr. Robinson's son having terrible anxiety. Maybe that's why he was so easy on Matt and favorited him, he most likely just reminded his teacher of his son, which seems more like pity. Matt usually would find this behavior odd, most teachers didn't even know Matt was in their class til he asked to go to the nurse, bathroom, office, or if there was any group project, he'd always be picked last by some group who didn't have enough members.
He noticed y/n looking at him in class, only from time to time of course, he found it weird how someone could be paying attention to him, then again he just thought she was making fun of him in her head.
Bullying wasn't like it was in the movies, for Matt, it was just whispers and stares. Kids would laugh as he passed, most called him the teacher's pet if they shared calculus with him. He mainly stuck to himself, somedays he didn't even show up, if it was just staying at home to do work online or going to an early therapy session.
Y/N POV
May 13th, 2024
(let's pretend their 18, in their senior year in 2024)
A dreadful Monday morning, Matt was wearing a collared white and blue striped button up with dark tan cargo pants. I watched him walk up to his seat in calculus class, nobody spoke to him except Mr. Robinson, giving an overly cheerful, "Goodmorning Matthew" as he headed in. Matt only muttered a tired "morning" as he threw his backpack next to his desk and leaned into his chair while he sat.
Class went as normal throughout his lecture. Honestly, I could've fallen asleep, for once I understood the material, so I found paying attention quite useless.
"Matthew what's the answer to page 347 question 9?" Mr. Robinson said abruptly
I practically jumped out of my seat, he never called on Matt, and I was shocked he finally did. I looked over to see Matt, knocked completely out of his daze, I guess he didn't expect the sudden call out either.
Matt fiddled with his pencil nervously as Mr. Robinson waited for an answer, yet he was only met with "Um's" and "Uh's" out of Matt.
I kicked Matt's ankle gently, I covered my mouth loosely as I whispered the answer, which I had to quickly figure out. I felt awkward in the moment just watching it, so I couldn't bare it lasting any longer.
Matt nervously repeated my words with stumbles, which I was even shocked that it was correct. Mr. Robinson seemed proud with a nod and a slight smile "Correct, amazing work Matthew"
Even with the praise he still seemed nervous, he was still anxious from the awkward occurance that had all the eyes laid onto him.
He turned back to me slightly, whispering a soft "thank you" before he sat up and tried to compose himself
"No problem" I said back quietly, although my voice was practically a loud speaker to Mr. Robinson, who almost instantly snapped his cold gaze towards me
"Ms. Y/L/N stop the talking back there or you're going to the office" he demanded in a very threatening tone
I never left it alone whenever I was unfairly called out, Mr. Robinson knew this, and I swear he did it to get a rise out of me.
"Sir I wasn't even talking!" I called out
"Well you are now so zip it or you're out." He argued
I scoffed "You always target me, I barely even opened my mouth sir, besides you shouldn't talk to a student that way if you're always pushing us to respect you when you don't even return it!" I don't know why I argued, it's pointless and I knew that
"I can talk to you however I like, get out of my class!" He yelled. I sighed and packed my things before throwing my bookbag over my shoulder and walked straight out of class. I gave Mr. Robinson a glare but he wasn't even looking, I dont know what I did for him to hate me but love Matt.
I stepped out into the hallway and slumped down the wall midway to the office, I didn't want to go. Besides nobody would even notice or care. I heard the classroom swing open, I quickly stood up thinking it was Mr. Robinson. But it wasn't.
Matt came out instead, "why's he out here" I thought, I decided it was a perfect chance to finally speak to him
"Shit you scared me, I thought you were the teacher" I said as I looked at him with a slight smile
"Oh sorry I didn't mean to scare you, uhm but thank you again for helping me back there with the question." Matt said lowly in somewhat of a nervous mumble
"No worries, I could tell you looked a bit lost. So why does Mr. Robinson favor you so much out of everybody, I was just curious." I finally was ready to hear the answer, I always thought they maybe were related somehow but then again it didn't seem like it and the school would separate them anyway.
"Uh well I think it's cause I remind him of his son, I barely even know the answer to that. I find it just as weird as everybody else does, people think I'm a teachers pet because of it." He admitted as he nervously tugged as his clothes, which I noticed.
"Oh, well I should probably go to the office since Mr. Robinson's most likely going to call them and ask if I showed up, bye matt, I'll see you in class" I said
"Bye y/n, im sorry for getting you in trouble" the last half of what he said barely was audible to me with the quiet tone he used as I walked away to the office
I already have an idea of where this story is leading & I'm guessing it'll only take at most 4 parts to get there, I just feel bad stuffing one part with so much. Also if the writing & dialogue suck it's bc I rushed this SORRY 😔
THIS PART IS RLLY BORING I PROMISE THE NEXT IS SM BETTER‼️
PART 3 OUT NOW
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mytheoristavenue · 3 months
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MHA Mashirao Ojiro x Reader - Shakespeare
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Summary: While sharing your reading assignment for homework, you and Ojiro find yourself accidentally confessing to one another.
Warnings: fluff, tooth-rotting sweetness, mentions of dying for one another, colored parts are quotes, old English
"What did you get for number three?" Ojiro asked, tapping his pen against his jaw, sitting cross-legged at the foot of your bed.
"Thirty-six," you answered absentmindedly, not bothering to look up as you scribbled on the page you were working on.
"No way that's right," he replied, tail flicking in annoyance behind him. "How'd you get that?"
"I can assure you, it's right." you snicker as he looked over to your paper.
"You're not even showing your work," he chided, snatching it from you.
"Mental math is a hell of a thing," you insisted, reaching for it back, failing miserably. "Now give me my paper, you cheater!"
Ojiro deadpanned, holding the page above his head. "Not even Yomomo can do calculus in her head, dummy. I know you sure as hell can't."
"Are you calling me dumb, monkey boy?" You laughed, feigning offense.
"Yes," he answered without skipping a beat, tail snatching a small device from behind you. "Stop using your calculator, you'll never learn right. And you called me a cheater."
You blushed and reached out, falling against him as you reached past his shoulder to get the calculator back from his swishing tail. "C'mon, Oji, give it back!"
He simply chuckled at you wholeheartedly, shaking his head. "You might get the right answer now but you know you'll get points deducted for not showing your process," he rationalize, pushing you away by your shoulders, holding you at arm's length with a sympathetic smile. "Plus if you don't know how to solve the problems on your own, you're gonna fail all your tests."
"I hate you, you know that?" you grumbled, giving up slumping against him.
"No, you just hate when I'm right." he snickered, patting your back. "Which is all the time."
"Shut up..." you muttered into his shoulder, hiding your face. From the outside looking in, one might think you two were cuddling but that couldn't be further from the truth. You and Ojiro were just close friends- best friends even. Best friends could have moments like these. You could hide your face in his chest and he could wrap his arms around you, pulling you closer, whispering encouragement in your ear, and it isn't weird. Right? Surely not.
"C'mon you're smart, math just isn't your thing..." he soothed, rubbing your back gently. "You're just right-brained, that's all. Let's work on something else, yeah? We'll come back to this later. You'll be able to focus better after a break." You nodded against him, your fringe tussled against his shirt as you began to pull away, peering up at him. Heat rose to your cheeks, finding him already staring back with the kindest smile. Ojiro also blushed, gaze quickly shifting away as he cleared his throat. "H-How about we knock out that reading assignment?" he suggested sheepishly, shifting away from you to grab his bag.
"I forgot about that..." you muttered, doing the same. "Man, I don't wanna read a whole act in one night! Mic's officially lost the plot." He was relieved to hear you begin to rant about the unfair amount of homework you'd been given.
"It's not gonna be so bad, we already read act one in class, we just have to read act two now." He said, shaking his head at your theatrics. "We can take turns."
"Or we can just look up what happens online," you smirked mischievously. He gave you a stern look, and you relented. "Oh, fine!"
"You can't cheat your way through everything," he sighed, cracking open the paperback. "I'll be Romeo and you can be Juliet, 'kay?"
You nodded, cheeks dusted pink as you did the same.
-----
Ojiro read the both of you in, playing the part of not only Romeo, but Mecrucio and Benvolio as well, voice dipping and raising to distinguish between each role. Finally, scene one concluded, and it was time to being the second, which you had been dreading the entire time.
"He jests at scars that never felt a wound." He said, dramatically placing his hand over his heart before motioning to you as your character enters. "But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun. Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon, who is already sick and pale with grief, that thou her maid art far more fair than she. Be not her maid, since she is envious; Her vestal livery is but sick and green and none but fools do wear it; cast it off. It is my lady, oh, it is my love! Oh, that she knew she were! She speaks yet she says nothing: what of that? Her eye discourses; I will answer it. I am too bold, 'tis not to me she speaks: Two of the fairest stars in all the heaven, having some business, do entreat her eyes to twinkle in their spheres till they return. What if her eyes were there, they in her head? The brightness of her cheek would shame those stars, as daylight doth a lamp; her eyes in heaven would through the airy region stream so bright that birds would sing and think it were not night. See, how she leans her cheek upon her hand! Oh, that I were a glove upon that hand, that I might touch that cheek!"
"Ay, me!" You read, a bashfully glow in your cheeks at his words, however rehersed they had been.
"She speaks: Oh, speak again, bright angel! For thou art as glorious to this night, being over my head as is a winged messenger of heaven unto the white-upturned wondering eyes of mortals that fall back to gaze on him when he bestrides the lazy-pacing clouds and sails upon the bosom of the air."
You bit your cheek, cringing at your next line, feeling it tacky to speak aloud. "Oh Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou, Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse thy name; Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love, and I'll no longer be a Capulet."
This time, Ojiro found himself a tad flustered as you begged him to promise himself to you by whatever means necessary. Swallowing, he shook away the thought, realizing how ridiculous it was to put stock into a quote not meant for him specifically. "Shall I hear more, or shall I speak at this?" He asked himself rhetorically before his eyes shifted up to you, indicating that it was your turn.
Taking a deep breath, seeing how long the next paragraph was oyu braced yourself. "'Tis but thy name that is my enemy; Thou art thyself, though not a Montague. What's Montague? It is not hand, nor foot, nor arm, nor face, nor any other part belonging to a man. Oh, be some other name! What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet; So Romeo would, were he not Romeo called, retain that dear perfection which he owes without that title. Romeo, doff thy name, and for that name which is no part of thee take all myself."
'A rose by any other name..." He repeated to himself, unable to keep his tail from swishing happily. maybe if a rose by any other name would still sell as sweet, he could still be worth your time despite being who he was. "I take thee at thy word." He replied, more to you than as a reading from a script. "Call me but love, and I'll be new baptized; henceforth I never will be Romeo."
"What man art thou that thus bescreened in night so stumblest on my counsel?" You asked, nose in your book, trying to make out understanding from the thick Old English writing, oblivious to how he had begun to take your words to heart.
"By a name I know not how to tell thee who I am. My name, dear saint, is hateful to myself, because it is an enemy to thee; had I it written, I would tear the word." Ojiro recited eyes occasionally flickering up to yours for the off chance you might meet him halfway. Still, you remained focused in the writings of the ancient writer, blissfully unaware. He should have been happy to see oyu so engrossed, given your proclivity for taking the easy route but he began to feel almost ignored to an extent. Like he meant the words and you didn't.
"My ears have not yet drunk a hundred words of that tongue's utterance, yet I know the sound: art thou not Romeo and a Montague?" You ponder, the gears in your mind turning as you consider the words and their meanings.
"Neither, fair saint," He answered, almost curtly. "If either thee dislike."
Ojiro's short tone caught your attention, prompting you to glance up in surprise, beginning the line without reading the words. "How camest thou hither, tell me, and wherefore?" Not remembering the rest, your eyes flicker down to your textbook before trekking back up to his. "The orchard walls are high and hard to climb, and the place death, considering who thou art, if any of my kinsmen find thee here."
"With love's light wings did I o'er-perch these walls; for stony limits cannot hold love out, and what love can do that dares love attempt; therefore thy kinsmen are no let to me." He replied, brows furrowed slightly into the look he always had when giving something this whole attention, voice dripping with conviction.
"If they do see thee, they will murder thee." You said, eyeing him cautiously, confused as to what had him frustrated. "Ojiro, is everything okay?" you finally asked, breaking character.
"Alack, there lies more peril in thine eye than twenty of their swords: look thou but sweet, and I am proof against their enmity." He recited, still obviously on edge, simply nodding to your question.
"I would not for the world they saw thee here." You respond, a bit taken back by his lack of reaction to your concerns.
"I have night's cloak to hide me from their sight;" His eyes suddenly softened and his stare fell away from yours and settled in his book on the blank space between the words and his lap. "And but thou love me, let them find me here: My life were better ended by their hate, than death prorogued, wanting of thy love."
Suddenly your heart dropped at the melancholy in his gaze. He didn't...mean what he was saying, did he? Of course not, you decided. That'd be silly. "By whose direction found'st thou out this place?"
"By love, who first did prompt me to inquire; he lent me counsel and I lent him eyes." He said quietly, almost timidly, his tail wrapping around your bedpost, as if to anchor himself to it. "I am no pilot; yet, wert thou as far as that vast shore washed with the farthest sea, I would adventure for such merchandise."
Something about the line made butterflies soar in your stomach, even though you knew they weren't for you. Maybe it was the nervous but steadfast look in his eye or the way his Adam's Apple bobbed with an unsure swallow. Whatever the cause, you couldn't unstick yourself from the notion of him searching the furthest reaches of the Earth to find your affection. Darting your tongue out, you wet you lips with a shaky breath, scanning over the gushy paragraph ahead.
"Thou know'st the mask of night is on my face, else would a maiden blush bepaint my cheek for that which thou hast heard me speak to-night fain would I dwell on form, fain, fain deny what I have spoke: but farewell compliment! Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say 'Ay,'-" You read, eyes glued to the written page as you coninued.
"Aye," he blurted, interrupting, making your blood run cold. Your gaze scrambled about the page, mind trying to get ahead of your heart before jumping to conclusions. Maybe he was somehow on the wrong page, that had to be it!
"O-Ojiro..." You breathed shakily, trembling hands flipping back and forth between this page and the next. "I-It wasn't your turn yet." You gently informed him, settling back on the right page. "A-And that isn't your next line..."
He looked as if he were about to explain, lips parted before he grunted, shaking his head with a fake, sheepish grin. "S-Sorry, must've lost track...continue."
You eyed him cautiously, swallowing hard, still reeling from what you thought could have been a confession. "And I will take thy word: yet if thou swear'st, thou mayst prove false; at lovers' perjuries then say, Jove laughs. Oh gentle Romeo, if thou dost love, pronounce it faithfully: Or if thou think'st I am too quickly won, I'll frown and be perverse an say thee nay, so thou wilt woo; but else, not for the world. In truth, fair Montague, I am too fond, and therefore thou mayst think my 'havior light: But trust me, gentleman, I'll prove more true than those that have more cunning to be strange. I should have been more strange, I must confess, but that thou overheard'st, ere I was ware, my true love's passion: therefore pardon me, and not impute this yielding to light love, which the dark night hath so discovered."
"Lady, by yonder blessed moon I swear that tips with silver all these fruit-tree tops-" He muttered softly, unable to keep eye contact with you, onyx eyes simply flickering back and forth between yours and the bed sheets.
"Oh, swear not by the moon," You interrupt, delivering the line with a bit more feeling than you'd intended. You sheepishly tucked a strand of hair behind your ear as you continued. "The inconstant moon, that monthly changes in her circled orb, lest that thy love prove likewise variable."
Your change in demeanor seemed to have captured his attention, to your relief, as he glanced back up at you. "W-What shall I swear by?" He asked, swallowing a hard lump of nerves, eyeing you shyly.
"Do not swear at all..." you answer earnestly, leaning closer almost to an unnoticeable degree, but he caught it. You couldn't have possibly made a move he didn't see with how he stared at you. "Or, if thou wilt, swear by thy gracious self, which is the god of my idolatry, and I'll believe thee."
Ojiro could feel his heart hammering against his ribs as you lamented to him, leaning in when you thought he wouldn't realize. He scanned the page, frantically trying to keep up with the plot. "If my heart's dear love-"
You interrupted him again, inching closer, lost in the moment. "Well, do not swear," you beg, eyes shifting up to him as soon as you'd memorized the next few words before dipping back down. "Although I joy in thee, I have no joy of this contract to-night: It is too rash, too unadvised, too sudden; Too like the lightning, which doth cease to be ere one can say 'It lightens.' Sweet, good night! This bud of love, by summer's ripening breath, may prove a beauteous flower when next we meet." The words dramatically rip from your throat almost as if a warning- one that foretold that if this didn't stop immediately, if he didn't leave, things wouldn't ever be the same between you. "Good night, good night! As sweet repose and rest come to thy heart as that within my breast!"
"Oh, wilt thou," he paused, shifting nervously, obviously not heeding your warning. "Wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied?"
"Not you, never," you confessed at long last, gazing at him longingly as the red that dusted his cheeks crawled up to the tips of his ears.
"(Y/N)..." he gulp, eyes never leaving yours, save for once to memorize what your next line should have been. "Y-Your line is-"
"What satisfaction canst thou have to-night?" you finish for him, leaning in infinitely closer, so much so, he can begin to faintly feel your breath fan his face, and your legs have shifted so you're sitting on your knees instead of cross-legged.
"(Y-Y/N)..." he shuttered, lips instinctually parting as his trembling hands found your forearms, thumbs caressing your skin gently. His tail wagged excitedly behind him, despite his attempts to steady it.
"Say the line, Ojiro." You dismiss, lashes batting at him.
"The exchange of thy love's faithful vow for mine..." He managed to choke out shakily.
"I gave thee mine before thou didst request it: And yet I would it were to give again." You confess, still shifting closer, lips ghosting over his as your eyes flutter shut, knowing your last line is already done. "Read it, Ojiro," You command again, relishing in the anxiety on his face as he tore his gaze from yours and read the words aloud as your hands cupped his cheeks.
"Wouldst thou withdraw it? For what purpose, love?" He asked honestly, bottom lip quivering as your top one brushed against it.
"Never for any reason," you let go of a captive breath, finally crashing your lips to his in an inexperienced but needy kiss. His hands which once weightlessly sat on your forearms now gripped your wrists, anchoring them to his face, almost as if letting go would convince you to take your touch away.
You settled further into his lap, in an almost identical position to earlier, only this time the meaning behind the embrace was clear to both of you instead of just the outside world. Kneading his lips against yours, his fingers slid down your wrists and traced your jaw until they felt your throat, cradling your head, absentmindedly toying with the hair that rested near your ear. "I've waited forever for this..." he admitted in between kissed. "Woulda waited a million years just to kiss you if I had to."
"If you'd asked, you wouldn't have had to wait a day," You replied, pulling away and peppering kisses across his face. " I would have kissed you as a hello if I'd know I could..."
"I'm glad we waited," he confessed, sighing blissfully as you showered him in affection, pulling you infinitely closer by your waist. "Time makes the heart grow fonder, or however the saying goes."
You giggled at his dopey grin, pecking his nose, arms snaked around his neck, toying with his hair. "Absence." You correct, shaking your head at his mistake. "The phrase is 'absence makes the heart grow fonder'."
"Time I didn't get to spend in your arms might as well have been absence." He mused, leaning up, nudging his nose against yours before ghosting his lips over your own. "Let's make up for lost time, yeah?"
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My plan is under way. I bought seven "For Dummies" books to help refresh myself on all the topics I've forgotten since high school
Algebra 1
Geometry
Algebra 2
Trigonometry
Pre-calculus
Calculus 1
Physics 1
These are by no means comprehensive, but they're a good start. I was able to find the exact textbooks I had in high school, but I opted against them because I figured they wouldn't be super useful with only half of the answers in the back, and I couldn't find the teacher's editions. I'm sure I could have found digital copies online but I learn better from physical books than PDFs, so this was the best bet for my budget.
My goal is to go back to school and earn a BS in astrophysics, which requires 62 credits of really intense math and science. I already have college credit for trig and calc, so there's no need for me to retake those semester long courses, I just need to get a hang of them again before I re-apply for my second bachelor's next fall.
I'll have to talk to an advisor to make sure I'm elligible to start this program with my existing prerequisites. It's not like they'd turn me away, they'd just give me a list of all the classes I need, and I'd sign up for them no matter how long they take. I've been completely listless for almost five years now, so any progress whatsoever is a major achievement for me.
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essaywritinghelp · 8 months
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