#talk about struggling to pick which scenes to include

[talaofthevalley]

Koukei - Official Music Video Gakuen IdolM@ster - Hiro Shinasawa (VA. Reina Kawamura) Lyrics, Composition and Arrangement by Hakushi Hasegawa

[myrleius]

here, beside you (snippets!) — bakugo k.

bodyguard bakugo k. x rich fem!reader

original fic: here, beside you

notes: I think you can read this even without seeing the original fic. These were just some dialogue ideas I had when I was experimenting which timeline to write and can honestly just be stand alone scenes of these two idiots. This includes the two weeks where Bakugo was guarding yn and after the one year time-skip thingy.

Yn huffed, struggling with the stubborn window. “Ugh, this thing won’t budge.”

Bakugo watched her battle with it for a whole ten seconds before letting out an exasperated sigh. “Move.”

She stepped aside with exaggerated flair. “Oh no, whatever shall I do without the great Bakugo—”

He yanked the window open effortlessly, then shot her a flat look. “You done?”

She stared. “... I loosened it.”

His deadpan expression didn’t waver. “Yeah. Sure you did."

Bakugo stood in the doorway, arms crossed, already regretting giving her the time of day. “What the hell are you on about now?”

Yn turned to him, grinning. “What do you think is stronger? Your explosions or a nuclear bomb?”

He blinked, then shot her a glare. “Are you an idiot? A nuke wipes out entire cities, dumbass.”

She tapped her chin in thought. “Yeah, but yours are way cooler. More... refined, y’know?”

His scowl deepened, though he glanced away. “Hah? You tryna butter me up or somethin’?”

Yn’s smirk grew. “Is it working?”

Bakugo scoffed, but the corner of his mouth twitched. “Hell no.”

Lying on the floor, yn stared at the ceiling. “I’m bored.” 

Bakugo sat on the couch, scrolling through his phone. “So?” 

“Entertain me.” 

He shot her an incredulous look. “What the hell do I look like? A damn TV?” 

“No, but you’re here and I’m suffering.” 

Bakugo sighed dramatically, leaning back. “Tch. Not my problem.”

Yn huffed, rolling onto her side to face him. “You’re no fun.”

Bakugo didn’t even glance up. “Not my job to be fun.”

She pouted. “Then what is your job?”

He finally looked at her, deadpan. “Blowing shit up.”

Yn snorted. “Wow. So inspiring.”

Bakugo smirked. “Damn right.”

She sighed dramatically, flopping onto her back. “Still bored.”

Rolling his eyes, he tossed a pillow at her face. “Deal with it.”

“You—” Fwump.

Arms crossed, yn smirked. “Bet you can’t sneak past all those guards without getting caught.”

Bakugo eyed him suspiciously. “You challengin’ me?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. You talk a lot, but I haven’t seen you do much.”

His eyes narrowed. “You’re trying to get me in trouble.”

Her smirk widened. “Yeah? You scared?”

“You are the worst influence,” he muttered.

Grinning, she tilted her head. “And yet, you’re still thinking about it.”

Yn groaned, forehead pressed against her open textbook. “Why am I even studying this? I already know all of it.”

Bakugo, sitting across from her, barely looked up from his own notes. “Then why the hell are you whining?”

She lifted her head to glare at him. “Because it’s tedious. Do you know how insulting it is to be forced to memorize things I’ve already mastered?”

He smirked. “Cry about it.”

She sighed dramatically. “Maybe I’d suffer less if someone brought me snacks.”

Bakugo tossed a protein bar at her face.

“Wow. So romantic.”

“Shut up and eat.”

Bakugo watched as yn struggled to balance her textbooks, her bag, and a tray of food all at once.

“Tch. Bet you drop something in the next ten seconds.”

Yn shot him a glare, expertly shifting her grip. “You underestimate me, Bakugo-san.”

The moment she took a step forward, a pencil case slipped from the stack.

Bakugo smirked. “Called it.”

Yn sighed, bending down to pick it up. “Yeah, yeah. Gloat all you want. But if I make it to the table without dropping anything else, you buy me lunch tomorrow.”

His smirk faltered. “The hell? That wasn’t part of the deal—”

“Oh? Are you scared?” she teased.

Bakugo clicked his tongue, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Fine. But you’re paying if you lose.”

Challenge accepted.

Yn absentmindedly grabbed Bakugo’s wrist, stopping him mid-rant. “Hold still.”

He blinked as she traced her fingers lightly over a cut on his arm. A warm glow spread from her fingertips as the wound sealed up.

“Seriously, you’re worse than Deku-san when it comes to reckless training injuries,” she muttered.

Bakugo huffed, looking away. “Tch. It’s not that bad.”

She let go, patting his arm. “There. Try not to break yourself again for at least a week, yeah?”

He grumbled something under his breath, rubbing his wrist where she’d touched him. “No promises.”

Yn grinned as she took a bite of her ice cream, eyes gleaming with mischief. “So… what’s your weakness?”

Bakugo scoffed. “The hell kind of question is that?”

“I mean, everyone’s got one.” She tapped her chin. “Mine’s probably caffeine withdrawal. Or cute guys who scowl a lot.”

He shot her a glare. “That better not be about me.”

She smiled innocently. “Who said it was?”

“Tch.” He looked away, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “Dumb questions. I don’t have a weakness.”

Yn hummed. “Oh really?”

Before he could react, she reached up and flicked the edge of his ear.

Bakugo flinched.

Her grin widened. “Oh. Oh.”

“Don’t,” he warned.

But it was too late. She had discovered gold.

Yn dozed off in class, arms folded on her desk. Aizawa, completely unfazed, walked past her and didn’t wake her up.

Bakugo frowned. “Oi, why aren’t you waking her?”

Aizawa sighed. “Because she already submitted the advanced version of today’s lesson last week—with corrections.”

Bakugo turned to look at her, unimpressed.

Yn, eyes still closed, smirked. “Jealous?”

“Tch.” He kicked the leg of her desk lightly. “Don’t get cocky.”

“Okay, so… you can solve quantum physics equations in your sleep, but you don’t know how to cook rice?”

Yn stared blankly at the rice cooker. “I never needed to learn. I had chefs.”

Bakugo pinched the bridge of his nose. “You could build a rocket ship, but you’d starve in your own kitchen.”

She crossed her arms. “Not true. I can survive off of coffee.”

He groaned. “You are actually hopeless.”

She smirked. “But you think it’s cute.”

“No.”

Yn leaned over Bakugo’s desk, eyes bright. “Did you know that nitroglycerin, the main component of your sweat, was originally discovered by an Italian chemist in the 1800s? They used it for mining before it became weaponized.”

Bakugo stared at her, torn between annoyance and… something else. “And?”

“And it’s fascinating.” She grinned. “Your body literally produces one of the most volatile compounds known to man. You’re like a walking science experiment!”

His eye twitched. “I better not hear you call me that again.”

Yn tapped her chin. “Walking disaster?”

“Worse.”

“Explosive nerd?”

He glared. “I will end you.”

She only laughed.

Bakugo scowled as yn scribbled in her notebook, completely ignoring him.

“What’s so damn interesting?”

She barely glanced up. “Research.”

“On what?”

“Explosion quirks.”

His eye twitched. “Are you studying me?”

She grinned. “I’m documenting your patterns for scientific purposes.”

“… That sounds fake.”

She shrugged. “Maybe I just like looking at you.”

Bakugo choked on air. “The hell is wrong with you?”

She laughed. “You’re cute when you panic.”

His entire face turned red. “I—TCH—SHUT UP.”

Yn was shivering, arms wrapped around herself as they walked back to the dorms.

Bakugo sighed, pulling off his jacket and shoving it at her. “Wear it.”

She blinked. “What if I say no?”

“I’ll force it on you.”

She smirked, slipping it on. “You’re awfully sweet when you’re bossy.”

“Tch.”

She lifted the sleeve to her nose, inhaling dramatically. “Wow, it even smells like—”

“Say one more word and I’m taking it back.”

She giggled. “Fine, fine. Thanks, Bakugo-san.”

He grumbled. “Whatever.”

Yn stood under the doorway, arms crossed. “So. Mistletoe.”

Bakugo glanced up, then narrowed his eyes. “Tch. You planned this.”

She shrugged innocently. “Who, me?”

He scoffed. “Not happening.”

She pouted. “Aww, not even a little holiday spirit?”

“No.”

She sighed dramatically. “Guess I’ll just go kiss Kaminari then—”

Bakugo grabbed her wrist, scowling. “Like hell you will.”

She grinned. “Thought so.”

He grumbled. “You’re the worst.”

He leaned in, about to kiss her forehead before headbutting her instead.

“There’s your holiday spirit.”

Yn casually dropped a heart-shaped box onto Bakugo’s desk. “Happy Valentine’s.”

He eyed it warily. “The hell is this?”

“Handmade chocolates. Don’t worry, they’re scientifically perfect.”

He opened the box, seeing neatly arranged chocolates—each labeled with things like EXPLOSION BOOST and ANGER MANAGEMENT (PROBABLY).

His eye twitched. “You seriously made quirk-enhancing chocolates?”

She grinned. “You love them.”

He popped one in his mouth, grumbling. “…They’re not bad.”

She smirked. “You mean delicious?”

“Tch. Shut up.”

Bakugo opened his door and immediately shut it again.

Yn knocked again. “You’re not avoiding this.”

He groaned. “Tell me you didn’t rent out an entire arcade for my birthday.”

“… Okay, I won’t tell you.”

“Yn.”

She giggled. “C’mon, it’s your day! We have the whole place to ourselves!”

He sighed. “You’re ridiculous.”

Bakugo had zero reason to be mad.

So what if Kaminari was sitting too close to yn? So what if she laughed at something dumb he said?

Didn’t matter. It didn’t.

And yet, the next thing Kaminari knew, a perfectly aimed explosion went off inches from his feet.

“W-What the hell, dude?!” Kaminari yelped.

Bakugo shrugged, walking past. “Tch. Thought I saw a bug.”

Yn sighed as she wrapped Bakugo’s hand in fresh bandages. “You need to stop breaking yourself every other day.”

He grumbled. “Not my fault villains are weak.”

She raised an eyebrow. “That literally makes no sense.”

“Tch. Whatever.”

She finished tying the bandage, then, with a grin, brought his hand to her lips and pressed a soft kiss against his knuckles.

Bakugo froze.

He yanked his hand back, ears burning. “The hell was that?!”

She cleared her throat. “Well, I read somewhere that positive reinforcement speeds up healing—”

“THAT’S BULLSHIT.”

“… So do you not want me to do it again?”

“… I didn’t say that.”

Bakugo didn’t do birthday parties.

Hell, he barely remembered his own birthday half the time.

But this wasn’t just anyone’s birthday. It was yn’s. And after weeks of her not-so-subtly reminding everyone—

“Ugh, can you believe my birthday’s coming up soon? Crazy, right?”

“Man, I wonder what kind of surprises are in store for me on my birthday~”

“I mean, it’s not like I expect anything big… but I would cry if nothing happened.”

—he got the damn hint.

So, fine. He was doing something about it.

The problem was, the rest of their classmates were absolute idiots.

“You planned a party?” Kirishima blinked, stunned. “Like… on purpose?”

“Shut up, Shitty Hair. You in or not?”

“Oh, I’m so in.”

Thus, the operation began.

Step 1: Keep yn Distracted

Easier said than done. She was annoyingly observant.

So, Kaminari was given the task of keeping her occupied while the others set up in the dorm lounge. It mostly involved loud, overcomplicated debates.

“Yn, if you could only pick one—unlimited knowledge or Bakugo’s eternal love, what would you choose?”

“Obviously Bakugo’s eternal—wait, why are you asking?”

“No reason!” Kaminari grinned, sweating.

Step 2: Decorations

Mina took over this part, much to Bakugo’s reluctant approval. She added fairy lights, streamers, and a banner that read “HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SIMP” in sparkly letters.

Bakugo nearly ripped it down.

Mina fought him off. “She’ll love it!”

“… Tch.” He let it stay.

Step 3: The Cake Situation

Sato obviously. But Sero and Kirishima also attempted cupcakes, which ended in small-scale disaster.

The kitchen smelled slightly burnt. They covered it with air freshener.

Close enough.

Step 4: The Surprise

Finally, when everything was set, Bakugo begrudgingly went to retrieve yn.

He found her on the dorm rooftop, arms crossed.

“… You forgot, didn’t you?” she deadpanned.

Bakugo scoffed. “Tch. Like I’d ever forget something that important.”

Her eyes widened slightly. “Wait. Are you—”

“Shut up and follow me.”

And when they reached the common room…

“SURPRISE!”

Confetti popped. Music blasted. And yn, for once, was speechless.

She turned to Bakugo, still processing. “… You did this?”

He rolled his eyes. “No, it just magically appeared, dumbass.”

Her grin was blinding. “You do love me.”

His ears burned. “I—Shut up.”

She laughed, throwing her arms around him. And despite all the teasing, all the effort—

It was worth it.

[ponyboyssophie]

Love iconography in Sorry We're Closed (2024)

As the Angel of Love in this game is represented by a horse-chimera, there was a lot of care put into using horses to symbolize love & relationships. There's the obvious theme of Dream Eater plastering his realm with paintings, statues, and artifacts about Chamuel and other random places like the crypt using his visage too, but I'm mostly gonna talk about something a bit more abstract.

Sorry We're Closed uses hearts as its primary symbolism for love; but it also uses a less mainstream visual motif to show us how it matters to the characters. Horse. :)

To start with, each episode of Dying Petals starts out with a shot of a horse painting, before zooming out to bring in the characters.

Shots of the characters talking will usually be accompanied by one or two paintings. This is where we first see horses associated with relationships.

[There are TWO SEPERATE paintings behind them, yknow, just in case you don't notice the first.]

You might know that the story represents Michelle's love life, (quite literally as Epiphany is played by her actual ex; the story mimics their conflict and break up) but this room also becomes the place where Michelle solidifies her destiny, whether she chooses new love, her ex, or something else.

Also, notice how the painting behind Canary is much bigger than the one behind Epiphany. This is still true when accounting for perspective.

Although the biggest (and brightest) horse painting is off-screen.

You can see it behind Chamuel on the final day, next to his door that allows you to choose love.

The Carousel.

In the scene where we watch the duchess execute a woman for lying about her 'love' for the Duchess to save her life, there is a carousel-style horse in the background.

This is, I believe, the first time we see this horse carousel, and it appears with a bleeding heart. An empty spot where there used to be something. Love is not here.

The Duchesses room.

On the outside, you see paintings of Dream Eater and Chamuel.

I used to think a lot of the paintings around the game were random - like maybe they were just filler. There's a lot of repetition of the same images over and over again, but I've come to understand it is its own visual language.

The Duchess seems to place a big focus on these two around the hotel - who are "quite infamous" in the supernatural community. There's the obvious connection to taboo love here, but I think it's also an example of a demon being able to resist the change of love. Which might explain the hierarchy here of Dream Eater being on the top/larger. More value is placed on Dream Eater, who holds onto the past.

[Spoilers for inside the Duchesses room]

Straight off the bat, you start to notice a trend in this room. This is where I started picking up on the meanings behind certain pieces and noticing the emphasis on horses throughout the game, especially in regards to the Duchess. It might feel like maybe they just like horses - having a picture book with horses or framed paintings all over their room seems like more of an interest, but it continues to entwine them in the language of love.

Also - I won't go into this too deeply but the repetitive paintings of the Duchess, especially the close ups of their eye/features, is a parallel to the fractured, disjointed images of Chamuels face that represent his 'mortalisation' and get more and more frequent (and also, violent) the further he gets into his struggle with love. It implies to me that the Duchess has already begun this process, or at least reflects how they've been fractured by love as well.

Ironically, the picture of the lead singer of Michelle's favourite band, who they brought to the hotel to make her feel more at home is right next to it. It's not mentioned if the Duchess was already a fan, or if they checked it out because of Michelle/how much they love her outfit (fish fight shirt included!) :)

Here we see the horse with the bleeding heart again.

Over their clean, neat bed which is kind of a mix between elegant hotel opulence and rusty torture chamber imagery (the case on the left side of the bed..... if you know you know). Their room itself is a beautiful illusion that seeks to cover up for their one weakness, but it still shows through.

You also find some assorted Duchess-themed artifacts.

Notably, the missing heart fragment. T.A.D says this is "said to be what remains of the Duchesses heart after the incident."

(There's also the presence of Dying Petals in the Duchesses room, but that's a topic for another post.)

I also find it interesting that they has these on their shelf. A visual reference to Dream Eater fighting himself, maybe?

[Also, Bonus A La Mode games reference. Or, the Duchesses version of the warriors that I've just now realised is a reference to the devs logo]

Hotel Ascent is when things start to get more... surreal.

There's a repeated trial throughout this area where, to pass to the next room, you have to charge your heartbreaker before shooting the heart of the horse statue. The first instance of this is also accompanied by a literal anatomical heart you have to shoot to charge it up.

Usually, it's aggressively defended by giant roller-spikes and/or enemy hordes. The Duchess doesn't want you to break past their barriers and into their heart, that's for sure.

This is the opening scene for the final boss fight.

The statues stay in the background for the whole fight. Notice how these ones no longer have arrows jutting from their chests.

(We also see these weird abstract horses from the start of hotel ascent again - even they have a true form which can only be seen with the third eye.)

Other uses in the game.

I think Dream Eater's Palace would take up wayy too much, so I'll skip it. It's already something that is canonically brought to attention in-game so Iif you've played it of course you'll already know how obsessed this guy is with, uh, horses, and what that says about him. :)

There is also a picture of Dream Eater (a.k.a "a forlorn being") in the church where Benedict and Robyn (the OTHER angel/demon relationship) spend most of their time together. You can imagine it's not on the side Beloved chooses to hang around haha.

Oakley doesn't have anything in his diner as far as I know, but Darrel does have two paintings of the earlier picture of Duchess riding a horse in his bar.

He has other Duchess paintings also, likely because they're his boss, but this feels very in-place in the bar for a reason.

It does mean that all three relationships in the game have some connection to Dream Eater/Chamuel imagery. Some of it may be coincidence, but I thought I'd mention this anyway as it solidifies the connection to love.

Okay fine I'll talk about the crypt.

The examples/relationships I've used here are romantic in nature, but it's worth noting there are excessive amount of Chamuel statues in the crypt as well. A crypt that belonged to a broken family, that has mostly covered up it's traces of said family after Gabriella took revenge on her parents. Traces of angels are systematically replaced with demonic imagery, as though Gabriella was insulted by the appearance of love being featured so heavily throughout her families tomb. You might see love in the past (using your third eye), but it's disappeared/fractured.

So what's up with the horses?

I already kind of mentioned this at the start, but in this fictional world the concept of love and horses are pretty much inherently linked through Chamuel, so I appreciate how they leaned into this by making it sort of a cultural concept of love.

Horses can be seen as a symbol of love historically, but generally the cultural zeitgeist uses something a bit more fragile and delicate, like doves or rabbits.

It reminds me of Disco Elysium, where love is understood through the lungs rather than the heart due to it's association with Dolores Dei; a pseudo-religious symbol who was just a deified historical figure. Changing what love 'looks' like in a way that serves the story. It shows how well-intergrated Dream Eater and Chamuel are in the world-building and story. They represent the fear of change, and the consequent leap of faith you need to embrace that change. Something the Duchess needs.

Why not use horses? It still feels childlike and nostalgic. They're strong, lively creatures who still exist as prey animals to be hunted - the Duchess doesn't want to be hunted. They want to hunt.

And, life didn't really go that way for them.

By the way I lied earlier, not every episode of Dying Petals has a horse painting. In the Duchess route, during the final episode when Epiphany and Canary break up, they are cramped into the only corner of the room that doesn't have horses. I guess Michelle really did move on from Leslie. :)

[david-talks-sw]

So that whole interaction between Ahsoka and Huyang, where they talk about Sabine's choice to help the enemy find Thrawn (in hopes that she can then find Ezra) is clearly meant to be subtext for what happened with Anakin.

I mean change the pronoun from "she/her" to "he/him", tweak some of the names and...

... it's just blatant.

The parallels were already clear in the previous episode, as pointed out in this post here, and it still holds true:

Sabine's struggle with attachment mirrors Anakin's.

We know Filoni's whole stance on why Anakin fell to the Dark Side: he'll usually acknowledge that Anakin was ruled by his attachments, got possessive of Padmé, but then adds:

"HOWEVER is loving that way really that bad?"

"HOWEVER he never stood a chance because Qui-Gon wasn't there to teach him properly and be the father Anakin needed."

I've already gone into why both these statements don't track with Lucas' intended narrative here and here... but I wanna touch on this notion that "Anakin wasn't trained enough to make a better choice."

He was.

You know how we know? Because we saw him overcome his attachments before.

We saw him explain the theory of the non-attachment rule, before.

In fact, wee saw him pass down a lot of the Jedi lessons, in The Clone Wars, including being disciplined, following orders and not acting impulsively.

The issue is that - while Anakin knows the theory, even has a few minor successes applying it - he never builds the self-discipline needed to master it because... deep down... he doesn't want to.

This is partially because you got Palpatine telling him he doesn't need to, molding him into an arrogant, power-craving person... but the fact remains that Anakin made the choice himself.

Which Filoni acknowledges, sure... but not quite. The difference between his thesis and George Lucas' is that the latter picks a stance and defends it.

"He started out as a very loving and compassionate person. And as he progressed, it was his inability to control his temper, his inability to let go of things, and his quest for power that were his undoing." - George Lucas, E! Behind the Scenes - ROTS, 2005

Anakin fell because he was greedy, just like any one of us can be.

Cool. Filoni, on the other hand, doesn't seem to land anywhere.

He dances around the issue (as can be seen by the debate between Ahsoka and Huyang, with no clear winner) and merely questions whether it's as simple as that.

Clearly he wants to justify Anakin's actions to some degree... but y'know, the narrative considers those actions so reprehensible that Anakin gets friggin' burned alive for it.

"I felt it was important that we actually see that happen so that we could see the consequences of these bad things that he did. […] He forces his friends to turn against him. Which is heartbreaking." - George Lucas, “The Chosen One” Featurette, 2005

Because Anakin's actions are not meant to be justified.

It's easy to see why Filoni likes Anakin. One of the earliest tasks he had when writing The Clone Wars was humanizing a character whose sole functional purpose was to carry out a narrative about how:

"Without self-discipline, greed [can] force a character off the path to freedom." - Micael Hearn, The Cinema of George Lucas, 2005

And Anakin is a very sympathetic character.

His flaws are flaws that we all carry.

Q: Is it fair to assess Anakin is kind of cursed by his own goodness/good qualities? "I wouldn't say that’s true. He’s cursed by the same flaws, and issues that he has to overcome, that all humans are cursed with. There's a lot going on there. [...] The whole point is—and the reason I started the story where I did—is that Anakin is a normal, good kid. And how does somebody who is normal and good turn bad? What are the qualities, what is it that we all have within us that will turn us bad?" - George Lucas, Star Wars Insider #52, 2000

But narratively, Anakin is selfish.

He doesn't want to save Padmé's life, he wants to save himself from the pain of losing Padmé.

And while you're supposed to sympathize with him, you're not meant to agree with him. He's Darth Vader, the space nazi. He messes up and consequentially "leaves the Force in darkness" for 20 years, instead of ushering it towards the light in the chancellor's office, when he has the chance.

So to shift the blame and say that...

HOWEVER, Anakin didn't have the proper support system or training to make a better choice.

... when the whole point of the narrative is about taking personal responsibility and being selfless instead of selfish... well, it is missing that point.

He did know better. He just didn't want to choose better, so he convinced himself he wasn't able to.

[seventeenlovesthree]

Madoka Magica Ship Analysis - KyouMado

I wanted to thank @magical-xirl-4 for requesting this ship analysis! Among the polls I've posted a few months ago ([X][X]), they got among the least amount of votes - and since I have quite a soft spot for the rare rarepairs, I'm gonna tackle them now.

Other ship analysis posts: [Homura/Madoka] [Kyouko/Sayaka] [Homura/Sayaka] [Homura/Mami]

Disclaimer: I won’t claim this to be a conclusive/definitive analysis of all of the ship’s aspects. I have watched the original 12-episode-series and movies (including Rebellion), the Magia Record anime and I’ve read several manga series (the Original, The Different Story, Wraith Arc, Rebellion Story, Oriko Magica, Another Story, Mitakihara Anti-Materials). But I’m aware that I haven’t seen/read all of what’s out there and am also not thoroughly familiar with the games. Plus, oftentimes, ship dynamics vary depending on which series/timeline you are looking at. So this is going to be my personal take on it.

Whether canon provides input on them or not.

Through the course of all Madoka Magica related content - and as far as my memory serves me right -, Madoka Kaname and Kyouko Sakura are probably the pair that shares the least amount of time together. Since both of them usually (hyper-)focus on other characters respectively (or get hyper-focused on by those characters in return), they don't interact much. In fact, I would go as far as to say that they only really get to spend time together when ALL the other girls are out of the picture and/or not available.

For example, in the main story timeline, they only really get to talk after Sayaka had turned into a Witch. It's at this point that Kyouko reaches out, asking Madoka to conduct her plan to pull Sayaka out of her Witch form together - and despite the fact that they haven't had a direct conversation before, Kyouko must still have taken enough note to realize how important Sayaka was to Madoka (and vice versa) to confide in her like that. Then there is the scene in the last volume of The Different Story, where Madoka suggests for them to become "secret friends" until they are both "able to face their true feelings" - which refers to Kyouko's difficult relationship with Mami and to Madoka's inferiority complex towards (and feeling left behind by) Sayaka and Mami. And this is basically summarizes their relationship as a whole:

Under normal circumstances, they aren't familiar with each other and struggle with their respective relationships with Mami and/or Sayaka... And yet, there is this peculiar dynamic between these two that allows them to "see through" each other with surprising ease.

Where Kyouko usually upholds the facade of being selfish, rough and ignorant, Madoka recognizes this attitude as "you seem like a person who likes to pick on others, but that's not actually true". And with basically every other character, we can assume that Kyouko would initially have reacted like a cat thrown into a bathtub, lashing out at them for calling her out like that - but not with Madoka. Madoka is actually one of the few characters she allows herself to let her guard down with almost immediately - maybe because Madoka opening up to her about her own insecurities and complexes towards Mami and Sayaka (TDS) makes Kyouko feel like the Senpai for once. Either way, her offering a "tasty bar" to Madoka in the first scene they talk face to face without anyone else around, impressed by Madoka's sudden surge of determination - is a huge deal, as sharing/offering food is one of Kyouko's greatest love languages. And even her way of criticizing Madoka, telling her not to put herself down and to not rush becoming a Magical Girl before she finds something she really wants to fight for, is a lot softer than how she bickers or argues with the others. She also confesses to Madoka how much she used to love stories of Courage and Love succeeding in the end, getting nostalgic, chatty and even a little sappy; telling her that this is why she wants to believe in them being capable of saving Sayaka together (OG). Or how she feels like she can't get back together with Mami after all the damage she has done (TDS). There is a sense of... Hopeful honesty these two share with each other that is unlike any other combination in the Holy Quintet. Whether it's because they're not as close and thus don't fear getting hurt or judged by the other - or because their personality structures may be just what they needed in the exact moment their paths crossed, is for the viewer/reader to decide.

Another factor may be how their family dynamics mirror and contrast one another (thanks to @jamesthedigidestined who pointed this out to me once!). They're both big siblings, they're both idealizing and looking up to one of their parental figures... The main difference is that Kyouko's wish - made for the sake of someone else - caused tragedy for her family, resulting in her hardening up and secretly cursing herself for her choices and idealism. And even if she may deny it if confronted directly, it's quite obvious that those experiences are exactly why she cannot allow sheltered Madoka to sacrifice her loving, peaceful life for a half-baked wish. In no way, shape or form would she want Madoka to make the same mistake she made. Plus, Madoka being open about fearing to be a hindrance isn't just hitting close to home, but is also a much more genuine attitude in comparison to how the other Magical Girls tend(ed) to mask their flaws. That is most likely why Kyouko - while still being direct and to the point - talks less aggressively to her. In a way, she is projecting the Senpai-attitude Mami used to use on her onto Madoka - while giving it her very own spin.

Unfortunately - aside from the interactions they share in the games -, there isn't much else we can work with. Neither Rebellion Story nor Magia Record are providing much about them and the same seems to go for the other spin-off mangas (at least as far as I'm aware of). However, these moments alone are enough to show that there is a foundation between them. Even if you have to blink at times to find them.

Whether I think why and how they’d work.

While their signature colours pink and red do not clash as extremely as other combinations within the Holy Quintet, their personalities are still quite a contrast - and as implied above, in a way, that may be exactly why they could be good for one another: Madoka may need someone who's direct and harsh to encourage her genuinely (while not being as cryptic as Homura and not as "knightly" as Sayaka), whereas Kyouko may need someone gentle but honest she can take care of while simultaneously allowing herself to be soft around (without feeling looked down upon like she tends to do with Mami).

If Madoka knew about Kyouko's backstory (and drawing the parallels between their family set-ups themselves), you can bet on her own mother-hen personality bursting out of her (in ways Mami couldn't be more proud of). Madoka is a family person - she may have trouble believing in her abilities (or even herself) being anything special, but she has a natural affinity for praising and admiring others. And she's not afraid to push her mother out of her bed in the most loving yet strict way possible (in her Madoka-esque way at least). Thus, her wanting Kyouko to have a peaceful, happy family life (while encouraging her not to slack off) should be seen as a given - so she'd try her best to give her that.

Kyouko on the other hand is probably the only character who doesn't put Madoka on a pedestal: Homura is completely enchanted by (and biased towards) her, Sayaka and Mami do have their vulnerable moments around her and are also able to gently scold her, but also have a tendency to play "roles" in her company ("protective best knight-friend" and "perfect Senpai"). Kyouko absolutely doesn't have a filter, speaks her mind and right from the heart - and as tough as her words can be sometimes, she may also help Madoka's soft heart to get more resilient. For her to become more confident, outgoing, daring, to believe in herself - in the same way Kyouko would, as she could most likely sense Madoka's own sense of Courage and Love buried inside of her from the start. Plus, Madoka is capable of proving to her that a happy family life can indeed exist - so Kyouko would want to protect and preserve that as well. They do have similar initial ideals (fighting for love, the good in the world, to protect their families, friends, etc.). They just "represent" and deal with them in contrasting ways to the outside world due to their different life experiences.

Granted, this means they may have conflict potential as well - because a Madoka in a very insecure state (= too passive/selfless) and a Kyouko in a very overbearing state (= too aggressive/selfish) may not be compatible in a less favourable timeline. Kyouko may get fed up with Madoka's more fidgety attitude, whereas Madoka may not be able to deal with Kyouko's mean side. A lot of sulking and angst may ensue. Plus, as mentioned at the very start of the post, they do tend to gravitate more towards the other girls instead of each other - IF they are around.

However - their dynamic in the main timeline as well as in TDS have shown me that Kyouko can soften up + Madoka can toughen up for them to be on equal/compromising grounds. That's why Madoka can accept the tasty bar as a token of Kyouko's trust easily. They can be honest without judging the other for their differing ways. The time and place just have to be right for them to notice each other.

Whether I’d prefer them as platonic or romantic ship.

Honestly speaking, prior to conducting this post - and even after @jamesthedigidestined had rambled to me about it a few times before -, I actually hadn't taken note of them too much. I was familiar with these two major scenes and of their potential somewhere at the back of my head, but I actually wasn't aware of just how well the family angle allows them to have this complementary dynamic. One that is obviously severely overlooked - mainly due to their lack of screentime. And that's a bummer considering how they may potentially have one of the healthiest bonds among all of them.

Canon does imply that they bond over their shared adoration for Sayaka - even if that may only apply when things are not well between them, which is actually a shame, since it doesn't even allow them to function as a friendly trio; as we see in Rebellion Story, when they're on good terms, Sayaka and Kyouko are too intense and Madoka doesn't really fit in anymore (which is a similar scenario with Mami, Sayaka and Madoka in TDS).

So in a way, they may actually be destined to remain "secret friends", as stated by Madoka... But I'd say that, while I usually see them as platonic, this analysis definitely helped me to appreciate their romantic potential a lot more.

[thequeensjester]

S2 • EP5 ➤ Creating Isolation with Dirty Shots

The Valandil-Earien-Kemen dynamic for @ladytharen

Clean shot | Dirty shot

A clean shot shows the subject clear and without any obstructions, such as props, set pieces or even other characters. A dirty shot is the opposite—obstructions included in the frame and often (but not always) blocking the subject. There are many reasons to use a dirty shot—visual interest, editing continuity, depth, etc.

At the start of this scene, dirty shots are used to show other things happening, like Valandil turning over his gear, while Earien and Elendil chat. It create visual depth and intimacy between the characters.

(I also think the director was trying to work around background actor scaling, which ROP has struggled with as a pandemic production.)

Once Elendil leaves, the scene shifts to Kemen's perspective. The dirty shots that follow creates his feelings of isolation.

I recommend watching the entire scene because caps and gifs don't tell the whole picture.

The editor cuts to Earien and then camera pans down on her taking Valandil's arm. Then cuts back to Kemen's matching eyeline. Valandil is present but he's not the focus here. He's obscured and cut out of the frame because he's not important to Kemen at this moment.

We can see and feel how Kemen is on the outside looking in. There's both a conversation and a depth of a relationship that he doesn't have with Earien.

I think it's safe to assume that Kemen can hear their conversation because Earien picked up on Valandil and Elendil's. He hears Earien offering to speak to Pharazon, who values her.

Valandil's shot is a dirty single, in which we're looking over Earien's shoulder. This establishes a direct relationship between these two and it makes Kemen look physically even further.

Valandil is short-sided—the gap to right reinforcing his thoughts and disconnect from Earien, who is earnest but can't see his side of things.

Earien's dirty single shows a large gap between the two. I think this is deliberate and not due to the height differences between the actors.

In her scenes with Elendil, I think the director tries to keep Earien centered and closer to him because their disagreement is more personal than what Elendil thinks.

With Valandil, this is the end of their friendship. He can't go along with her choices, which includes disbanding the sea guard—his childhood dream.

I also noticed the harsher lighting when she's talking to Valandil. She's so certain of herself in both contexts but the cinematographer used deeper shadows when she offers to help Valandil—signaling the troubles with her alliance to Pharazon.

Valandil and Earien are both in-focus when they end their conversation but when he walks away, he's out-of-focus. We see that he looks over at Kemen but Kemen isn't watching him because his focus is actually on Earien.

The camera slightly pans over and down to re-center on Earien, just like when she touched Valandil's arm. Then it back cuts to Kemen.

Both Valandil and Kemen question Earien's loyalties. For Kemen, it's not just a lover's quarrel. She has his father's respect, while he doesn't. Disbanding the sea guard is her idea. Everyone in that square took turns disrespecting Kemen. I think he thought Earien is on his side, not just the general Pharazon's side, but she still values her friendship Valandil.

Perhaps he feels that he's not enough for her, despite how similar they are with estranged paternal relationships. If Earien was able to convince Valandil to turn, perhaps Valandil could replace Kemen in Pharazon's inner circle. This scene shows us how much respect and pull Valandil commands.

It's painfully obvious that Kemen owes a lot to other people, including Earien because look what scene the ep cuts to next:

I don't think Earien told Kemen about the palantir before that tavern scene either. She has quickly acquired more power and status than he has while he still needs to prove himself. So, to me, the market scene ends with Kemen feeling humiliated by Earien too.

— credit: cap-that.com

[yaraneechan]

so. before and at the beginning of cleanup arc, we are introduced to how Ritsu is misunderstood by everyone around him and his inferiority complex. and it leads to his descent into a corruption arc. Let's unpack how it went down one part at a time: (1k words)

after Mezato's interview with Ritsu- which she asked for because she got interested in mob's powers after lol cult arc and his possible new cult popularity, Dimple- also interested in using Mob and is following Mob around post lol cult arc - tries to convince him to use his powers, including during his walk to school with Ritsu.

Ritsu-who can’t see Dimple yet- asks Mob why he doesn't use his powers. And Mob says that they're not special as they can't get him what he wants: muscles. he doesn't believe he can get that with powers. (it's technically possible and would be addressed later in the manga) Mob then reminds Ritsu of his good non psychic qualities, saying he envies him, and Ritsu gets upset about it.

Dimple and Ritsu are frustrated that Mob doesn't see his powers as special and wishes for muscles or being better at math, which both considers lesser skills.

When Tokagawa meets Ritsu outside of school, Ritsu was just walking ~aimlessly~. And he calls himself "a regular middle schooler" and "the utmost case of plain and simple". Tokagawa sees that as a disguise.

For Tokagawa, back when mob was still considering joining the telepathy club, he had also clocked Mob as aimless. He asks Mob "isn't there something else you want to do? whats your aim?" also What does he do in his spare time, what are his interests, hobbies, does he have friends?

is he gaining something or just being used? He'd be letting someone else's opinion push him, accepting being a ghost member.

(ignore the character in the panel where Tokagawa tells Mob not to be a people pleaser/ let himself get pushed around we'll unpack that in another post)

we learn of Mob's goal of asking out the girl he likes, who he remembers to be interested in fast running boys. Tokagawa was the one who lead Mob to recognize his goal of wanting to be popular (and specifically wanting Tsubomi to like him) and join the body improvement club. Finding himself a new passion and way to improve himself.

but the thing is for unlike mob, Ritsu has talents that Mob doesn't, talents that are more acknowledged and favoured by society. So what clicks for Tokagawa is that Ritsu is trying to be the mobest npc type. and that he's doing that specifically trying to be like his brother. so he tells him "don't imitate your brother."

first, pointing out the panel of Ritsu holding the awakening lab card is on the nose as he got it specifically because he was mistaken for Mob.

Anyways, Tokagawa here only partly understands Ritsu. Because yes, Ritsu is trying to be like his brother. But Tokagawa assumes it to be about how Mob is-well- a Mob character, someone who blends in the crowd and doesn't stand out. He is telling Ritsu to stop being like his brother not about wanting to be psychic (he doesn't know about that) but as in to stop acting like he isn't special, like he doesn't have talents of his own, when unlike Mob he has his smarts and physical abilities. The things that are more socially accepted as skills.

and that stuck a nerve with Ritsu. It bothers Ritsu so much that later, during a student council meeting when they're picking the face of the cleanup plan and Kamuro considers Ritsu before backing off/using reverse psychology and calling him modest. Ritsu takes it as a challenge and considers joining.

He takes initiative for the cleanup plan, and then the awakening lab, as he thinks 'I really want to change myself'.

His npc/background/"mob" character days are over, He is joining the narrative.

he joins the awaking lab hoping it'll help him get powers. and everyone there don't mind that he's struggling to use powers while he feels inferior for it.

then we get a scene of the Kageyama parents talking about Ritsu's achievements at dinner, while getting frustrated with Mob's powers and telling him to be more like Ritsu. and Mob joins in saying that yes, Ritsu is way smarter than him and doesn't do anything weird, and again, it stuck a nerve with Ritsu.

so now to the boiling point. Kamuro changed the cleanup plan. he changed into something that goes against Ritsu's morals, he calls it unethical. the plan goes against the image others have of them. he says it doesn't suit Kamuro who's striving to be an elite. and it struck a nerve with Kamuro.

he asks Ritsu, when everyone around them has a false image of them, then why shouldn't they rebel?

and it's all connected here. great summarizing page!

what Ritsu is frustrated with is how those around him don't see powers as special, that somehow wanting to have powers is viewed as being modest, blending in, being "Mob"-like, like a mob character, while having physical power and being smart are the celebrated skills.

Ritsu just finds powers so much cooler then physical power and he thinks he's inferior to his brother for not having them.

he wants to be like his brother in having powers, but unlike his brother in using them. freely. not hold himself back. not putting a distance between himself and others to protect them.

he wants to fight.

and to do that he''ll be mistaken as his brother, both as Kageyama Shigeo by the awakening lab/then claw and as white T poison by delinquents

and so, his corruption arc has been kickstarted. 🎉

was gonna stop here but felt its important to bring this up:

"Why such a long face? you trying to mimic Mob" and then asking Ritsu to help with an exorcism rubbing in his face that he doesn't have powers like his brother. Reigen. Reigen no! those are the things he's sensitive about!

(plus Ritsu's also mad at Reigen for using/exploiting Mob which Reigen is trying to lie about but that's beyond the scope of this post)

[princeloww]

rivals plot summary (including content warnings)

What to expect from the new DT show, basically. Vague spoiler warning.

Tony Baddingham, DT's character, runs a British television company in the Cotswold area. He is a lord and, as you might guess, extremely rich. He tends to manipulate people and spend their money instead of his, so that when his ventures go wrong, other people are left scrambling to pick up their losses, while he's completely fine.

He has a long-lasting rivalry with the tory minister for sport, Rupert Campbell-Black. Rupert is extremely charming and athletic, and has a new mistress every week. He is divorced and does not see his two children very often. He's an athlete at heart, and adores his horses more than people --- but politics are a lot more stable than that.

The plot follows a very large cast of characters, which can be quite confusing at first. I had to go back and work out who Beattie Johnson was, for example, because I'd completely forgotten who she was and who she was involved with. There are lots of wives and husbands and mistresses and children, so it gets a bit complicated. Most of the characters are somehow linked to Corinium, Lord B (Tony Baddingham)'s TV company.

Tony hooks up with and employs an American director/writer, Cameron Cook. She moves to England to work at Corinium. Her arrival and bad attitude forms tension in the Coriunium workspace, and the tension furthers when Declan O'Hara, an Irish TV presenter and author, arrives at Corinium. He is a leftist (in contrast to the conservatives around him) and often discriminated against for being Irish. At times he is accused of having IRA links, mostly just to make him look bad. He and Tony's personalities clash, leading to a fall out at Corinium. Declan, in a drunken rage, quits his job and falls into a bit of a bad state.

Recovering from the publicity of his departure, Declan groups up with Rupert Campbell-Black and a few others (including Tony's brother, Basil Baddingham) to create a rival television company, Venturer, to challenge Corinium and Tony for the franchise.

There is a lot of romance and a LOT of subplots. Declan's daughter, Taggie O'Hara, is a dyslexic cook who struggles to find work due to her inability to read and write. She develops a crush on Rupert, who is considerably older. If I start talking about how much I despise their relationship, I will never stop. Taggie will probably be quite a main character in the show, I'm guessing. Declan also has a wife, Maud, who is a failed actress and spends all of his money.

Tony's wife, Monica, is very charitable and employs Taggie despite Declan and Tony's rivalry. She is aware that Tony is having an affair with Cameron Cook. An affair which, while Cameron is under his employment, becomes extremely toxic and abusive.

I'm sure the show will be rounded out a bit for modern audiences, but warnings wise (at least in the book), Rivals includes themes of sexual assault (particularly groping), misogyny, domestic abuse and much more. A big majority of the characters are rich and extremely corrupt. Tony, the baddie of the story, has some of the worst moments. There is a scene where he hits and throws a woman until she is bleeding, because she's 'betrayed' him. He also threatens to kill somebody. On a separate occasion, he tells a distraught SA victim not to tell anybody, because the attacker is somebody who he needs on his side, for money. There is also, obviously, given the kind of characters we follow, a lot of classism. Valerie Jones, for example, exists as a punching bag for a middle-class Northern woman who wants to be like the rich Southerners.

Tony might be the bad guy, but Rupert, who we're supposed to like, is also awful. He's Jilly Cooper's little golden boy, despite being horrible. I hate him so much but Jilly clearly loves him. He gropes eighteen-year-old girls and objectifies every single woman he speaks to.

Again, I'm sure a lot of this will be toned down, but watch with caution. The story has light moments and lots of romance, comedy and drama --- it just occasionally dips into dark themes. There will probably be lots of dinner parties, as every other scene is a giant social gathering. As much as I have issue with Jilly Cooper, she is absolutely excellent at writing large social scenes with dozens of different subplots combining.

There's also a weird theme of characters describing 14-year-olds (specifically 14-year-olds) in weird predatory ways. It's weird though, because a strange amount of characters do it -- to the degree where I think it's just Jilly Cooper describing them weirdly. She acts as though being a teenage girl is a woman's prime and that she is wasted after that. She has also gone on the record to state that she hates feminists. I'm not a giant fan, frankly.

On a lighter note, if you want to tell who's supposed to be a good guy, just remember that the good guys always quote poetry and like animals.

Despite its many flaws and dark themes, Rivals really is an interesting read. Jilly Cooper says the weirdest, most fucked up things ("she's like a little sister", thinks Rupert, right after staring at the 18-yo's ass) but the story really supports itself. It's interesting, gossipy, raunchy and very well written. Cooper is an expert at big scenes, and works so well with the giant ensemble cast. I disagree with a lot of things she says, but I think the show will be really good. I'm super excited and can't wait to watch it. There's a particular scene with David's character that I'm looking forward to; while in the book it was a bit scary, because we know how Jilly is with teenagers, there's a scene where Tony drives Declan(his enemy)'s daughter home, and is actually very nice to her before realising who she is. I think DT will do this scene a lot better, and it might actually be a bit endearing. Idk, I don't wanna jinx it, but I think it has potential to be a sweet scene, with the charm DT typically brings to these roles.

If anyone has any plot-related questions, or about David's character or anything, please feel free to ask! I'm more than happy to ramble about this book, because I do really like it. I see and dislike its flaws, but personally I am able to look past them and appreciate the story and characters. They're all horrible people, but let's be honest. They're politicians and rich, tory lords in the 1980s. They were always going to be horrible. You can like something that contains problematic characters without necessarily, immediately condoning and agreeing with those things. People online and especially on places like TikTok seem to struggle with this concept, but I'm a firm believer in media literacy and accepting flaws. You can like something that is bad. You can like villains. It's fine.

Declan is my favourite btw. Live laugh love Declan O'Hara

[valenteal]

The Clovis Arcs in Star Wars the Clone Wars: a Breakdown of What Went Wrong and What Had Potential

Part 1: Introduction and Senate Spy

Okay, so I’ve been meaning to talk about this for a while but I keep forgetting or putting it off but here I go. I am going to tackle the Clovis arcs from The Clone Wars. This post will include in depth analysis, including my inferences into the implications and consequences which are not necessarily canon but in my opinion are the obvious conclusions to draw if the story were more fleshed out. If it bothers you that I am stating things that were never explicitly said but were definitely implied, this essay is not for you.

Full disclosure: I loved them when I was a naive little kid who didn’t understand the difference between fear and jealousy. I was a possessive kid who feared having people or things taken away, not because I saw them as purely mine but because that was my experience. Someone else swoops in and “steals” my friends or toys or projects. So for me, it was very easy to love these episodes seeing Anakin as similar to me, fearing that Clovis would take Padmé from him, without Padmé’s consent or permission because Clovis was obviously the bad guy. I didn’t understand the attempted nuance of the jealousy and the supposedly “toxic” relationship between Anakin and Padmé. And honestly the first Clovis arc still works with some minor tone adjustments or added dialogue between Anakin and Padmé. The second arc, not so much.

Let’s start with the first arc, which is just one episode, Senate Spy. The opening quote is, ironically “A True Heart Shoud Never Be Doubted.” It begins with an adorable and in character scene where Anakin returns to Coruscant and Padmé bearing food from a kind stranger who he’d hitched a ride with after he blew up his own ships. There’s a couple adorably sad moments when it’s made clear how committed they are to one another but also how new the relationship truly is when Padmé is surprised but incredibly happy when Anakin calls her apartment home, and when Anakin learns that apparently his wife is a good cook as well as a badass politician. The first few minutes of this episode are perfect. The trouble starts, as it is won’t to do, with the Jedi Council.

Actually it starts with Anakin getting their summons to meet, since nothing to bad happened in the scene where they’re trying to get him to pick up, but that’s the trigger for the downward spiral as this is where they begin deliberately butchering Padmé’s character, though it does bring up an important point in my personal view of Anakin. When Padmé gets angry that he has to leave, which is understandable but ends up getting blown way out of proportion, Anakin is able to sense that anger, but not, I assume, who it’s directed at. Padmé isn’t mad at him, she’s mad at the situation and his presumption that he can “read [her] mind.” Which tells us that Anakin’s passive awareness of other people’s feelings is much stronger than most Jedi’s. This is the kind of power that unnerves people, but also explains a lot about Anakin’s character, particularly why he was so quick to trust Qui-Gon and Padmé. But it’s also something he doesn’t talk about to openly, presumably because it scares people and the Jedi really didn’t need anymore reasons to fear him. Therefore he hasn’t been able to hone or practice this particular skill, leading to fumbles like this where he assumes he knows what someone is feeling but he misunderstands and reacts incorrectly. What would’ve been the right words if Padmé had been angry with him became condescending and aggravating. If Padmé were truly in character she would understand Anakin’s struggles and tried to help him understand, maybe promise to have a conversation about this passive ability once he was done reporting to the council. Instead she’s made oblivious and insensitive for the sake of drama *jazz hands.*

When Anakin finally joins the “council” (it’s just Mace, Yoda, and Obi-Wan! That is not the full Council it’s a tiny group of Councilors at best!) they are obviously teasing Anakin about his affection for Padmé (Obi-Wan) or subtly interrogating him about his relationship with her (Yoda and Windu). Once they’re satisfied that yes, Anakin is too attached to her and yes, meddling is necessary, they demand he convince Padmé to spy on Clovis. Let’s be clear here: this was not a request. Yoda’s exact words were “convince her, you must,” to which Anakin bowed and gave a subdued “yes, Master.” That rubbing anyone else the wrong way? The entire conversation is just really creepy and shady and manipulative. It is set up to be literally shady, there is an obviously sinister vibe to the whole thing. They’re plotting in the middle of the night, with all the lights out, illuminated only by a holo table displaying a candid shot of Clovis and a Nemoidian, with eerie music playing in the background. The three councilors practically gang up on Anakin, presenting shocking information that he doesn’t get time to process and then steamrolling him into doing what they want.

Anakin of course doesn’t just roll over and do as they asked, instead approaching Padmé to basically confirm that no, she won’t be spying on Clovis. But Yoda’s crafty, he planned this whole thing out. He didn’t tell Padmé Clovis was a spy, leaving Anakin the unknowing messenger of the particular bit of intel, which is all it takes for Padmé to be on board with the plan. I’m glossing over this scene because it’s full of OOC drama that needs no further explanation, it’s just stupid and petty and neither Anakin nor Padmé would actually act like that, case closed, goodbye.

Now, I’m not saying that asking Padmé to spy on Clovis wasn’t a good idea, it very much was, she has all the skills and Clovis trusted (read: underestimated) her. No, the issue was how the Jedi Council presented the mission, both to Anakin and to Padmé, in a way that was meant to drive a wedge between them, and especially the wording used when briefing Padmé on the mission.

The briefing scene is absolutely disgusting to me, the second even more than the first, because rather that simply being callous and manipulative in a shady room, this one happens in the middle of the day, in the council chambers, bathed in sunlight. Windu and Yoda continue making inappropriate and inaccurate insinuations that they know will get under Anakin’s skin, and Padmé, continuing to be either oblivious or petty and callous towards her husband’s feelings of insecurity, doesn’t make it clear that she and Clovis were not lovers, Clovis just wanted to be. So Anakin is uncomfortable, he feels vulnerable, no one in the room is on his side, he’s isolated in his discomfort and ignorance, and his superiors are actively trying to make it worse but he can’t see that, or at least he can’t admit it to himself.

Padmé reveals that Clovis “didn’t take it well” she returned their relationship to a professional level, which is definitely a red flag for someone who only knows Clovis as a Separatist conspirator from the Banking Clan. And then the fear mongering begins. Windu asks if Padmé might be able to “rekindle their… friendship,” and Obi-Wan tells her that the closer she can get to Clovis, the better, prompting Padmé to respond that she “will do anything to succeed in [her] mission.” Do you hear how icky that sounds?! They’re deliberately trying to make Anakin not only insecure about his relationship with Padmé, but also afraid for her safety! They don’t tell her to be mindful of her own safety, they don’t tell her she doesn’t have to do anything she’s uncomfortable with, in fact they encourage her to do so! They offer no aid or protection, Anakin assigns himself to be her bodyguard once again, but reminder, her just got back from “a lengthy tour of duty” and is probably supposed to be on some kind of leave and no one ordered him to go with her. He was just supposed to convince her. He is giving up much needed time off, ostensibly of his own accord, to participate in a stressful mission, which is followed almost immediately by what might be the most brutal conflict in the non-Disney portion of the Clone Wars.

Honestly my issues with this episode are pretty much covered, before we even get into the meat of the episode. All the problematic stuff is kinda covered in the first 7 minutes and 40 seconds of the episode. Of course the tone of everything remains for the actual mission but nothing new happens to screw things up from a writing perspective. Padmé slips into character for pretty much the rest of the episode so of course she’s OOC, it’s deliberately done to appeal to Clovis and make him underestimate her. Anakin is still unstable and anxious and terrified but that’s less because of butchered character and more because of the Council’s manipulations. The mission is basic, made ridiculously easy by Clovis’s obsession with Padmé and his severe underestimation of her intelligence but it’s entertaining enough, I love watching Padmé being a boss and manipulating Clovis expertly. The Nemoidians were well thought out for villains in this series since they’re usually pretty basic, but Lot Dod (or however you spell it) is both shallow and complex in his motivations, because he’s simultaneously a businessman and a senator and a conspirator and a person with grudges. While his actions are simple, poisoning Padmé but giving up the antidote went held at gun point, his motivations are layered. Padmé is a long time opponent of the Trade Federation, a Republic spy, a personal thorn in his side, and someone Clovis (who he hates) cares about. Like I said, the episode has its redeeming qualities, and honestly the overarching plot is one of them. It’s a set up for the Second Battle of Geonosis, it’s a view into Padmé past and current relationships outside of Anakin and the Jedi, and it’s got a good villain who has wasted potential as a reoccurring major antagonist.

The biggest issue I have with it is that despite being a Padmé episode she got pushed to the side. The whole thing is full of sexist undertones, and indeed overtones. I really wish they hadn’t damsel in distressed her at the end, if it were me I would’ve kept the poisoning scheme but add in that Padmé realizes she’s been poisoned and actually tells Anakin that something’s wrong and then deliberately uses it to escape questioning about her movements and to distract from the data disk she stole, just like in canon. Just make all the convenient stuff that happened as a result deliberate on her part and erase the “Anakin saves the day because he got super anxious” thing. Not that I don’t think Anakin has anxiety, but just… Padmé balances him perfectly because she’s got a cool head and incredible awareness of her own body and skills. De-damselify the Queen, have Anakin actually be her partner instead of her restless bodyguard.

All you have to do is get rid of the sexist ink it’s written in and it’s a good episode. The argument between Anakin and Padmé in the senate is basically just sexist writers projecting onto Anakin. He’s not that overprotective of Padmé, he knows she can handle herself and if she says “let’s go rescue Obi-Wan” then they’re going to go to a hostile world alone to rescue Obi-Wan together. He is way too smart to tray and tell her what to do. So take that out of the equation, get rid of Padmé’s OOC childish attitude, and we’re good. I don’t like what the Council did and the way they plotted to break up Anidala, but it’s not completely out of character. I would give it a little more nuance or motivation, maybe explicitly link it to Anakin’s behavior during the Blue Shadow Virus arc, but it’s something I would keep because it’s one of the best times where we get a real glimpse into how the Jedi have treated Anakin, not just how he thinks they’ve treated him based on Palps manipulations.

In conclusion: I will probably be writing a fic that completely retells this episode because this is very long and rambling and I don’t think anyone is going to read it!

For real this time, in conclusion, the Clone Wars episode Senate Spy committed atrocities against Padmé Amidala but by fixing that we could make a more than decent episode with many important plot points and insights into characters. It’s a tragedy that this plot was executed so poorly because it had SO MUCH potential. I know all Anidala fans hate the Clovis arcs with a burning passion, and believe me I do too, but mine is a hate borne from love turned sour. I have tried before, when I was a lesser writer, to ease the pain with a fix-it fic, but the wound still festers. I will try again. And this time I will succeed in not just attempting to patch up the ending but rewriting the episode better and deeper and more nuanced than before!

[queenshelby]

Our Little Secret (Part 67)

Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Warning: Infidelity, Age-Gap, Triggers, Smut

After you left, Cillian had to continue working for the rest of the afternoon, which included shooting two scenes with Annabelle who, after all that, behaved professionally during the entire day, keeping her interaction with Cillian outside the scenes to the bare minimum.

Whether she got the message or not was, however, unclear when, just as Cillian was about to head back to his unit,  Annabelle stopped him.

"Cillian," she called, her voice a little emotional. "Just wait a minute," she said, gesturing for him to step into a more private location, away from the hustle and bustle of the set.

Cillian sighed before nodding and following her, wondering what could possibly be so urgent that she needed to talk to him privately.

"Look, I don't want to stand between you and Y/N in any way, but I feel as though she does not like me and I wonder whether, maybe, you told her that...,"  Annabelle said softly, her voice hesitant and uncertain.

Cillian sighed heavily, running a hand through his already disheveled hair. "I did not," Cillian interrupted her before she could even speak the words. "And I would prefer if you did not either," he then told Annabelle, who sighed.

"Cillian, we already agreed that we would keep it a secret, and I do stand by my word. I just wasn't sure whether you told her that we had a fling in the past. I guess I just wanted to clear the air a bit," she said, trying to let him understand why she was reacting. 

"Like I said, I didn't tell her," Cillian reiterated, shaking his head. "And she does not dislike you, Anabelle. Y/N and I have had our struggles as you know, and she is just being cautious. That's all," he suggested, thinking back to how protective and untrusting you had been ever since he cheated on you.

"Well, you cheated on her, so I don't blame her," Annabelle then chuckled, her eyes filling with sympathy.

Cillian's eyes narrowed, bristling at the implication of her words. "And neither do I, but that's all in the past now. I made a mistake, and I have no intention of repeating it, so let's just let be, alright?" he responded  , trying to keep his frustration in check.

Annabelle nodded, holding her hands up in surrender. "Okay. I am cool with that," she said sincerely before preparing herself to leave. "I just wanted to make sure that you didn't tell her because, if she tells anyone else that we slept together, it could really screw up my career," she explained, still sounding a little flustered.

Cillian simply nodded in response, knowing that Annabelle had a valid concern. "I got to go now and see Mara before she goes to sleep,"  Cillian finally said, glancing at his watch.

"Alright, go and be with your family," Annabelle replied kindly but with a wry smile before parting ways with him and Cillian smiled back and then walked away.

When Cillian arrived at the apartment, he was met with the sound of laughter and the scent of something delicious wafting in the air. 

"Hey," Cillian said, walking into the kitchen and wrapping his arms around you from behind.

"Hi," you replied, smiling warmly at him over your shoulder before standing up on your tiptoes to press a kiss to his cheek.

He leaned down to kiss you properly, making you blush as Mara came running towards the both of you. 

"No kissies," she  cried, playfully pushing herself between you two.

Cillian laughed and picked Mara up.

"But I love giving mama kissies," he then chuckled before pressing a kiss on to Mara's cheek as well, causing her to giggle even more.

Cillian then put Mara back on to the floor as you continued dinner preparation.

After a little while, you took a break from cooking and poured yourself and Cillian some drinks, before settling down on the sofa, Mara crawling onto your lap and snuggling into you.

"You know what?"  you asked, looking at Cillian with a small smile playing on your lips.

"What?" Cillian asked, turning his gaze on you, a soft smile playing on his lips also.

"I am glad that we got back together. It's so nice being a proper family,"  you said, your voice filled with emotion as you looked at Mara, who was now playing with a toy on the floor.

Cillian nodded, his gaze never leaving yours. "It really is," he agreed, reaching out to take your hand in his. "I'm sorry for everything that happened in the past. I never meant to hurt you or Mara."

You smiled softly at him, squeezing his hand reassuringly. "I know that. And I forgive you," you told him sincerely. "But I want to make one thing clear Cillian. I won't ever forget being hurt like this, and if you slip up again, I won't hesitate to leave and find someone who can treat me right. I won't put up with dishonesty or infidelity."

Cillian nodded, understanding the seriousness and determination in your tone. "Y/N, I  would never do this again. I promise," Cillian added, looking into your eyes so deeply that you could see the sincerity and regret etched across his face.

You looked into his eyes, searching for any sign that he might be lying, but you saw none. Cillian had always had a way of convincing you with just his eyes, and now as he held your hand tightly, you felt a warm wave of emotions wash over you.

"Good," you eventually nodded, feeling reassured. "Let's eat then," you then suggested as you felt your stomach rumble, realizing that you had not eaten anything since breakfast. Cillian nodded, and he watched as you got up from the sofa and walked over to the kitchen.

Tags:

@sunbeamseas @saint-ackerman @oatmealisweird @naxxsstuff @amanda08319 @r-m-cidnah @elysiannook @cillshot @infireddabdab @tastycakee @harrysbestiee @lilybabe22 @adalynlowell @henrywintersdearestgirl @ietss @thatgirlthatreadswattpad @ryiamarie @axionn

@nela-cutie @futurecorps3 @delishen @nosebleeds-247 @thirteenis-myluckynumber @gills-lounge @hjmalmed @lost-fantasy @tiredkitten @sidechrisporn @smallsoulunknown @charqing-qing @hopefulinlove @aporiasposts @shycrybaby @me-and-your-husband @hjmalmed @lacontroller1991 @galxydefender @aporiasposts

@galxydefender @hunnibearrr @saint-ackerman @lunyyx @gentlemonsterjennie1 @ihavealotoffandomssorry @nadloves @lost-fantasy @nolucesn@mcavoy-girl @hjmalmed @bloodybagels @obeyme4life @richiesgroupie @blushykiss @tatumrileyslover @teawithsatanx @orijanko @rhaenyra4ever @xcinnamonmalfoyx @budugu @nadloves @kmc1989 @bloodybagels @obeyme4life @richiesgroupie @forgottenpeakywriter @smailaway @sophiaaguirred @blondie-22

[bitterrfruit]

re: sex scene dialogue / oops, i was talking abt houndstooth (i just finished reading it), and i think its your ability to be wordy without being long-winded, meticulous and purposeful in how you chose to portray that scene (and the story in general), at least thats the impression i got. thankyou for writing it, it was so fun to read and kind of painful to finish lol. i find it hard to get into fic and romance genre in general and tbh i had logged houndstooth as something that i wouldnt be interested in bc i assumed the dynamic would give way to cut and dry dom/sub dynamics, which was my bad cos the nuance was beautiful. also just curious, how did u go about (if u did) researching the finer details? the coding jargon, chemical weapons etc etc. are these things you're familiar with or had to look into? and was it difficult to reach a point where you were confident enough in what you knew to format it into the story?

omggg i was wondering if it might have been houndtooth!! that was definitely the one sex scene i avoided dialogue bc it felt out of place. i’m so so glad you enjoyed it and the story! <33

i did have to do a lot of research for the story, but it was the youtube/wikipedia/reddit kind to research lol. i had some base level knowledge about nerve agents and chemical warfare only because i’ve always found it morbidly fascinating.

as far as the coding stuff i mostly used google and reddit to get an extremely cursory idea of what a linux script/terminal might look like. and i mean extremely cursory lol. i’m sure what i came up with is totally unrealistic but hopefully believable enough to not take people out of the story

to your last point, omg yes it took me SO long to get to a point that i felt confident including certain things. i struggle with a latent cinema-sins attitude when consuming media myself so i’m paralysed by the fear some aspect of my story will be picked apart for its inaccuracies.

usually i have to tell myself “why the fuck am i researching what material handheld radios are made of, people are here for the porn” lmfao

[zombeebunnie]

Trembling Essence Devlog 4:💙 Poll results + Analyzing the script💙

Helloooo and welcome new followers, here's how the progress of the game is going! :]

There will be spoilers if you haven't played through the [Extended Demo], specifically the MORNING route. Click here if you would like to play! :]

**A big thank you to the recent influx of interest towards Noah and the game itself! I have to catch up with a lot I missed but I am very grateful! :D

Onto the poll results!:

Thank you to everyone that played the [Extended Demo] and recently participated in some of the recent polls I've created! It's still optional but I would really appreciate any feedback on why you picked your decision to this one if you still would like to! This really helps me out moving forward with my game developing process! :,]

I'm going to dive a little bit deeper into to this: The results left me very surprised especially towards "Talk to Noah" and "Look around" being picked the most out of everything else and the "Go outside" having the lowest, which explains a few concerns I had behind the scenes given this one has the Morning route attached to it. With this information, I'll take all of it into consideration while I continue working on things behind the scenes! :D I talked about this a few months ago but the "Talk to Noah" and "Look around" choice are being revamped and updated. There's some old game development posts that showed some of the old CG's and dialog with it but extends from very old code which had major spoilers in the script before I got better at pacing the story and realizing that I was missing the other half of Day 3 during that time. :S In good news around this time I managed to have a conversation with my play tester about everything and we had a very good talk about where to go from this. I expressed a couple of ideas on how to move forward with the choices and they gave back a good amount of feedback I needed when I was struggling with writers block. :,D

Onto the game development!:

Here is a small recap:

Midway through December up until the start of March, I went through the afternoon route and made adjustments to the choices, story-building, and overall pacing of the route to make the closeness build-up feel more rewarding given that I'm aiming for more of a slow-burn. Outside of more testing and grammar checks, CG's, etc, everything is about 95% done!

Morning route progress:

Since this is still just the second half of Day 3, I'm still trying to be extra careful with balancing a meaningful slow-burn and not over-doing it. :,]

The last time I played through the Morning route was around the start of spring(?) back in 2024 before I went and fixed up the beginning of the game leading up to the cabin.

With a new and fresh perspective of what needs to be done, I went back to the script and went over how I want certain parts of the game to happen. I noticed several inconsistencies that really needed fixing which is largely due to pacing/spoilers happening way too early for my liking. :,]

When choosing the 'Go outside' and the choices after it, I updated it with better dialog between the player(Y/N) and Noah.

It's nothing too extreme but just a nice quality of life to get a better understanding how Noah responds to this. I also fixed how much HP you lose along with editing the additional visual effects that happen here. It was originally split into 2 HP loss situations but now it's only one.

I won't say which scene but there was one part of this route I was going to ultimately cut but I've spent a lot of time brainstorming and came up with an idea on how I want it to go moving forward which might include a new CG and choices being made to give it more meaning. This is all still up in the air and I want to have my play testers check everything out first before I continue with it just in case I end up over-doing it again. :,,,]

Weird bug found?:

I also found a couple of mismatched sprites and a weird bug where a CG of Noah pops up towards the end of the Morning route, I have no idea how it happened or if this can occur in the [Extended Demo]. I can only hope it's not though. :,]

CG clean up:

Around the time I had announced the [Extended Demo] back in early 2024 there were parts of the Morning route that was actually suppose to have CG's but since I was still developing my art style I couldn't do much perspective art like I wanted to.

**As far as CG clean up goes, I do have plans to update some of these in both routes but for now I will keep them as placeholders until I get just a bit more practicing in. There's also 1 or 2+(?) new ones I have planned for this but I'm not ready to share them yet. :D

I think that's about as far as I've gotten up until I couldn't work on the game for about a week and a half so I'll stop here. :[]

If you like what I create, please consider supporting what I do on kofi [Here]! All donations and tips help tremendously while I continue to work on the game. Thank you to those that optionally bought the [Extended Demo] on itch.io. :,]

Q&A / Ask box is open:

To know and understand Noah through Asks and random posts about lore, they'll be under #Get to know: Noah ! :]

**Some asks won't be answered if it contains spoilers but I do appreciate what I receive. I will most likely spend this time going through and catching up on everything I missed. :]

If you have any questions about Trembling Essence/Noah feel free to ask [here] or on itch.io please. This makes it easier for me to see and answer accordingly! I enjoy hearing from you guys!

Thank you everyone for the continued support! :,]

[mirandasidefics]

But Home is Nowhere- Chapter 11

Pairing(s): Lucien x Plus Size Reader, Azriel x Plus Size Reader, and Ruhn Dannan x Plus Size Reader.

Summary: Ruhn supports Reader as she continues to heal. The two come to an agreement regarding her use of Azriel's tonic on the nights where she struggles the most. As their friendship progresses, so do their feelings towards each other. Reader opens up and shares parts of herself that no one, not even Lucien, knows about her. So, what happens when Ruhn makes an idiotic mistake?

Also, Lucien has a confusing dream.

Word Count: 16K

Warnings: Feelings of hopelessness, loneliness, grief, angst, conflicting emotions, mentions of substance use, Reader being dense af, smut (18+/MDNI), oral (f receiving), masturbation (male), making out/kissing, secondhand embarrassment (aka Ruhn's a dumbass).

Author's Note: This is a heavy Ruhn centered chapter. And we have his POV! I decided that I couldn't sufficiently tell his and Reader's part of the story without his POV. The final scene is split between the Reader and Ruhn's POV as there is a lot going on in each of their heads. I did a lot of research into what the ingredients for Azriel's Mother's tonic could be, and I settled on it being a similar product to laudanum (opium mixed with hard liquor). There are some added natural sleep-inducing herbs as well. The "black gum" that Ruhn mentions is the equivalent to opium (heroin). For those that recognize the song, I didn't include all of the lyrics, but Reader does sing the entire song. Ruhn's focus just goes in and out so what the audience sees is what sticks in his head. I think that is all.

As always, a HUGE thank you to my beta readers!

Series Masterlist Divider by @/tsunami-of-tears

Previous: Chapter 10 Next: Chapter 12

Ruhn noted how (Y/N) had been quiet since leaving the party. Which was unusual as typically their nightly routine included each of them talking about their day, at least the parts whenever they weren’t together. Tonight though, she was silent as she moved about the room. Something was on her mind, he could tell; but whether or not to try and get the information out of her or let her share it on her own was the question he found himself asking now. She kicked off the small heels and unclasped the delicate necklace, setting it on the smooth top of the vanity. 

“Could you help me?” Her voice sounded distant. She turned her back towards him, lifting her hair away from the ties that secured the deep red dress to her frame. He hummed his acknowledgment and pulled at the laces, loosening the dress. He caught sight of a strip of vivid blue-violet fabric stretching across her back. Her hands quickly grasped the front of her dress, pressing it to her chest to keep it from falling. She nodded her thanks and rushed into the bathroom to finish undressing. 

Ruhn started to undress himself as well, unbuttoning the dark silver cotton blend dress shirt that he wore. He sat on the edge of the bed to pull off his socks when he looked up into the mirror on the dresser directly in front of the bed. His breath caught in his throat. The door to the bathroom had not shut all the way, a fact that she must have been unaware of as she pranced around in the sinfully sexy lace bra and pantie set. He couldn’t help but wonder if that was something she picked out for herself, or if his sister had yet again decided to meddle. It wouldn’t be the first time. He couldn’t help but notice the color of this particular set was his favorite color. 

Ruhn knew he should have looked away. That he should have stood up and turned around to give her that privacy, but he simply couldn’t. Instead, he sat on the bed with his bare chest exposed and just watched. She was so beautiful. Not just on the outside, no. He saw how beautiful her heart and mind were as well. Her compassion and resilience were aspects of her being that he respected and adored. 

She moved with grace as she set about removing her makeup. He had to bite his lip to suppress the longing groan as he watched her bend over the sink. The lace panties high enough to expose the delicious curve of her ass cheeks. Thank fucking Urd she couldn’t smell his arousal, but she would be able to see and feel his hard cock if he couldn’t get a hold of himself. 

He shook his head, resisting the urge to physically slap himself to get moving again. He quickly undressed, remaining in his boxer briefs. Their shared body heat always seemed to keep him warm enough. She certainly never complained about his lack of apparel either. The thought made him smile slightly. Plus, it wasn’t like he could easily pack up his former belongings with his old house being watched. And he had seen no point in purchasing any new pajamas from any of the vendors in Velaris, even though Rhysand did supply him with a decent paycheck. What he was being paid for he honestly didn’t quite know. He held no official title that he was aware of, and apart from training with Cassian and Azriel the only thing he did was care for (Y/N). But that wasn’t a job. As far as he was concerned he was just spending time with his friend. 

Ruhn could hear her feet pacing back and forth on the tiles of the bathroom. Wordlessly he went over to the dresser and pulled out one of her nightgowns. Truth be told he’d much prefer her to join him in bed with the outfit she currently had on, even if he had no plans to touch her without her permission. But he knew that she preferred to be a little bit more covered. Ruhn gently knocked on the door, careful to face away so as to give her a semblance of privacy while he held out the silk nightgown. She took it from his grasp, giving a small thanks.  

This had also become part of their routine. If she intentionally forgot her night clothes or not, he didn’t mind helping her in this way. He knew that she was dressed when the door opened the rest of the way. He immediately noticed that the blue straps of her bra were nowhere to be seen alongside the thin straps of the nightgown.  He had to take a deep breath to calm himself knowing that she wasn’t wearing anything underneath. He slipped into the room next to her so that he could wash his face and brush his teeth. The whole scene was perfectly domestic. 

A part of him longed for more, but he didn’t want to overstep or make any assumptions on her feelings. Especially after her forced separation from Lucien. It had taken several nights of restless and disturbed sleep before she felt comfortable having Ruhn close to her. He didn’t mind waiting until she had become comfortable. 

He would wait as long as needed. He had his own shit to sort through, much of which he just pushed to the side. He had his theories about the last female he even thought of getting close to, before she turned out to be someone that he considered an enemy. But (Y/N), he knew that she didn’t deserve to be compared to anyone else. So he kept finding things about her that were completely different to ensure that his feelings for her were not an attempt to fill a hole that had been left behind. 

Ruhn had grown close to the woman over the past few years together. There was no doubt in his mind that she was important to him and everything that was going on. He believed that he must have been equally as important to her since she had been more receptive to his attempts to comfort her. He honestly found it difficult to keep his hands to himself most of the time. There was something about being in physical contact with her that he craved. Even if that contact was as fleeting as a quick kiss to her brow, he needed her. And on the rare occasions that she returned the gestures, he felt more grounded than he had in his entire life. She brought him a sense of peace that he would be eternally grateful for. Especially since he never got to experience this feeling with - no he would not think about her. Lidia was gone. It was as simple as that, and nothing more.There was no sense comparing all that he had in his life now with something that was entirely unknown.

He shook his head, ridding his mind of the shifter’s memory. At least for the time being. His focus returned to the human standing next to him. Her head tilted to the side by a fraction, studying him. Ruhn took the opportunity to pull her into a hug and kiss the top of her forehead. Lacing her fingers with his, they made their way back to the bed. Pulling back the covers he climbed in, and she soon followed. Most nights they would fall asleep simply laying next to each other. Tonight however, she rolled on her side to face him.

“Everything alright?” He asked, lifting his arm to create a space for her. Tentatively she curled up next to him, eyes seeking permission to rest her head on his chest. He curled his fingers, beckoning her to come closer.  

“I’m just in my feelings,” She admitted, her arm wrapped around his torso and her head resting on the space between his shoulder and pectoral. He wrapped his arm around her back, resting his hand on her hip. She let out a deep relaxed sigh. He hummed in response, moving his thumb in a soothing gesture. He knew her well enough to know when she didn’t feel like talking about a subject. So, if silent comfort was what she needed then that is what he would give. Not long after his eyelids began to droop and he drifted off to sleep. 

A soft melody drifted and wound its way through the townhouse like a withered visage of a specter. The melancholic chords of a piano slowly brought Ruhn to an awakened state. He stretched his arm out across the bed, in hopes of curling it around the soft feminine figure whose warmth he’d grown accustomed to. Only that side of the mattress was cold and empty. 

With a jolt his senses went on high alert. It took a moment for his mind to process that the music was not from his imagination, but from within the townhouse. There was only one person that would be playing the instrument, (Y/N). Nyx had asked her to sing at the most recent Winter Solstice celebrations, to which she nervously agreed. She shared a few songs that she said were from her world’s winter celebrations. Apparently not all humans strictly celebrated the Solstice, but something called Christmas. She accompanied herself on the piano that night and took to practicing ever since. 

With his adrenaline subsiding he slowly climbed out of bed and proceeded to make his way downstairs to check on the human manipulating the ivory keys. He pulled the shadows that waited on the edges of the room towards himself, readying them to strike any threat that may be waiting, tricking him into believing that she was safe. He didn’t know why he suddenly thought that she could be at risk in one of the safety places for her, but the concern was there nonetheless. 

The halls were dark as he made his way through, following the sound of the piano. By the time he reached the door of the small library on the ground floor he was able to make out the familiar sultry voice of (Y/N)’s singing.  He released a breath, comforted by the reassurance that she was safe.  

It's not simple to say

Most days I don't recognize me 

With her attention on the keys of the piano, the woman hadn’t noticed him entering the small space. While she tried to keep her voice low, it carried and resonated throughout the entire home. 

It's not easy to know

I'm not anything like I used to be

Although it's true

I was never attention’s sweet center

I still remember that girl

Ruhn enjoyed listening to her voice. The warmth that it embodied reminded him of the nights they spent curled up in blankets by the fire together. 

She's imperfect but she tries

She is good but she lies

He watched as her expression changed from concentration to sadness. 

She is hard on herself

She is broken and won't ask for help

His breath caught in his throat as he listened, the lyrics carrying a certain unspoken weight. 

She is messy but she's kind

She is lonely most of the time

He marveled at the way she navigated from one part of her voice to the next. Seamless despite the weight that her sadness must have added. 

She is gone but she used to be mine 

His heart clenched as she finished the first chorus. It quickly became obvious that her playing and singing was more than just a source of entertainment. She needed this. He realized that music was her outlet. Many of the Fae had a natural love of music in some way. Her affinity could be yet another indication that she truly had Fae heritage, even distantly as they all suspected. While he was no musician himself, he was still intrinsically drawn to its beautiful complexity. Lilting melodies, full and robust harmonies, and driving beats all stirring parts of him that made him remember he was alive. He enjoyed music, but (Y/N)? In this instance she was music. Her entire body became much more than just an instrument. It was a vessel. One that embodied everything she was feeling, calling it to the surface and expelling it in a beautifully sonorous experience. 

And you're not what I asked for

If I'm honest

I know I would give it all back

For a chance to start over

Her voice built, commanding that it be heard. Ruhn decided that he loved hearing her voice and would encourage her to use it at every opportunity. 

For the girl that I knew 

Who’ll be reckless just enough

Who can hurt but

Who learns how to toughen up when she's bruised

And gets used by a man who can’t love 

He couldn’t help but wonder if some of these lyrics held any specific meaning for her, or if it was the overall message that she resonated with. He was slightly aware that she had a past with ex-lovers. She didn’t really provide much in the way of details, but he knew she had been hurt. He was also aware that she often didn’t feel worthy of being truly loved, often having been used. Ruhn decided that he would ensure that she never felt that way with him. 

To fight just a little

To bring back the fire in her eyes

That's been gone but it used to be mine 

She closed her eyes, tears slipping out and descending in salty trails down her cheeks. The impassioned resonance of her voice rattled every surface of the room as she held the note. He felt every ounce of the turmoil and longing that she had been holding inside. The gravity of the loss she was experiencing. It was pouring out of her, crashing against his senses much like the way Lidia had raged against his mental shields that week in the Asteri’s dungeons.   

Used to be mine

Ruhn wanted to kick himself. Why did he suddenly think of Lidia again? The two were so different from each other. At least that’s what he thought. He never really got to know the female that risked her life for him. He did know (Y/N). Knew that she would do anything to protect those she loved. Whether through fierce words or use of the physical training she still attended daily, she was a protector with an occasional hairpin trigger. So why was he making any connection between the woman in front of him and the female that… The thought left his mind as (Y/N)’s voice cut through his defenses. 

She is messy but she's kind 

She is lonely most of the time

Her voice became brittle and shook from an exhaustion that he found himself all too familiar with. The sad smile on her lips dampened the impact her words had just moments before filled the small library. The next chord was one of finality. The soft tones clung to the air, just as tears clung to her eyelashes. 

She is gone but she used to be mine

Ruhn watched from his spot near the door as she finally looked up from where her hands continued to rest on the keys. Tears streamed down her face, and for the first time in the years he’d known her she didn’t bother trying to wipe them away. She didn’t hide her sorrow, allowing him to fully see her heart and how it was breaking. He knew she was struggling, but he had no idea she was in this much pain.

Something inside him knew that she wouldn’t shy away if he approached, so he didn’t hesitate to walk across the room to be by her side. He was in front of her in just a few quick strides. There wasn’t much room on the piano bench for the two of them to sit in a way where he could hold her close. So, after a quick glance about the room he spotted the large plush reading chair.

Taking her hand, he pulled her to her feet and along towards the chair. He noted that the chair, while surely an amazing place for her to curl up with a book, wasn’t exactly wide enough for her to sit with her legs crossing over his lap. It didn’t make a difference though; he knew that she needed to be held to feel at ease. At least, that was how it always was when she woke from a nightmare in the middle of the night. 

Typically, he would hold her as they lay on the bed together. His fingers either tracing along her skin marveling at how soft and supple it was or buried in her hair gently tugging on the strands just above the back of her neck. The action often allowed her to feel relaxed. It all depended on the level of security and protectiveness she needed to feel that night. Ruhn quickly surmised that tonight the best way to hold her would be for her to sit directly in his lap.

So, after settling on the chair, he pulled her towards him, guiding her to straddle over his hips. She complied, no hesitation in her movements as she made herself as comfortable as possible. Her nightgown inching up her thighs, revealing her skin as the fabric halted just below her hips. Her legs were able to slide in between his thighs and the arms of the chair, but just barely. He didn’t mind the pressure of her legs against his thighs, the feel of her body pressed against his helping to ground him as usual.

With near perfect practiced synchronicity Ruhn wrapped as much of himself as he could around her voluptuous frame. One hand slid along her lower back, providing support as it reached toward her hip. While the other slipped up her spine, fingers splayed out between her shoulder blades. He felt the small bumps rise along her warm skin. Her own arms wound around the top of his shoulders, her hands threading themselves into his hair. He let out a relaxed sigh at her touch, his breath ruffling her hair. She leaned forward and their bodies melded into each other’s. From this position, Ruhn would be able to easily pick her up and carry her back up stairs if needed. 

With her face buried in his neck, she continued to silently cry. The wetness from her tears contrasted with the warmth of her breath against his skin. Her nose grazed just underneath his ear. He wanted to believe that his scent was somehow calming to her as her muscles relaxed the longer they sat in that position. Eventually, she broke the silence.  

“Today was my brother’s birthday,” She whispered. Her shuddering breath fanned across his neck sending the briefest of shivers through him. Ruhn wasn’t sure how to respond, or if he should respond at all. He opted to remain silent, instead taking one hand and tenderly rubbing it along her back. She moved her own arms from around his neck to wrap them around his torso before fully relaxing into his hold on her. Ruhn smiled at the fact that their positioning probably made her look like an overgrown child. Urd knows that he caught her holding Nyx in the very same position many times trying to get him to calm down.

“My brother should be 30,” She continued. “I-I had never missed his birthday before…now I’ve missed three.” Her voice cracked from trying to keep her emotions in check and holding back her sobs. Tears still flowed, but Ruhn could tell that she was on the verge of breaking. With a kiss to her temple he let her continue all the same, knowing that she needed to process through her feelings.

“How many more am I going to miss?” She sucked in a harsh breath. “I don’t want to be here anymore. I just want to go home.” Her body began to tremble slightly, a signal the dam was ever closer to breaking. His hand continued to rub her back as his other squeezed at her hip, silently letting her know he was still listening. She didn’t need words from him anyway right now. He had quickly learned how to tell when she wanted his opinion on matters versus just silent comfort. 

“I miss my family so much,” The words tumbled out, nearly blending in with the sob that she finally allowed herself to release. Ruhn pulled her closer to him and he felt her fingers press deeply into his shoulders. She gripped him as if he was the only thing preventing her from shattering entirely. He recognized that she held a quiet strength, but in his arms she suddenly became the most fragile thing in the world. Everything inside him wanted to protect her. To shield her from the pain and grief of losing everything she held dear.   

“But it’s not just them I miss,” She continued through her sobs. “I miss everything about the life I had.” Ruhn listened as she continued to vent. She talked about how close she was to finishing her dissertation, years of dedicated hard work and research now felt wasted. She also talked about her recent promotion, finally allowing her to gain a semblance of financial independence. All of this leading up to the confession that threatened to rip his own heart from his chest.

“I’ve been in survival mode for so long.” She could barely speak from how heavily she was crying. “I-I don’t even know who I am anymore.” Ruhn wasn’t sure if he could hold her any closer than he already was, but he certainly tried. Her entire body shook from the force of her crying. He shushed her, bringing a hand up to her face to cradle it against him. After a moment she lifted her head, resting her forehead against his.

Her sobbing calmed down to a few shuddering breaths. She brought her hands up to his face, cupping each side. Her nose tentatively brushed against his. Their lips were less than an inch apart, but she didn’t bring them any closer. He wanted to kiss her, but this wasn’t the way he wanted their first kiss to be. He wanted her happy when, if ever, she decided that she wanted more with him. Urd knew that he wanted more with her. 

Ruhn realized that he loved her. He loved her so damn much that even just simply waking up next to her everyday caused his heart to beat just a little bit faster. All he wanted to do was ensure she was happy, healthy, and safe. Especially safe given everything that she has been through. He vowed to himself that he would do everything in his power to make that happen. 

“I’m not going to tell you who you are, as that is for you to decide,” He stated, breath intermingling with hers. “But I can tell you what I know and see every day that I’m with you. If you want to hear it, that is.” She brushed her nose against his again. He couldn’t tell if she wanted him to be the one that closed the distance or she would give in herself. Again he knew that it would be better to wait.  

“Please,” She breathed. “Everything feels so different. Like something is missing. I-I could use a reminder.” One his hands cupped the back of her neck, his fingers threading in the hair at the base. He gave a gentle comforting tug causing her to sigh. 

“Okay,” He pushed her face back slightly so he could better look her in the eyes. “You are kind and compassionate. I see that everyday when you’re with Nyx, a child that you have no relation to and yet you treat him as if he were your own. You’re patient with him and are teaching him what it means to be empathetic to those that have experienced hardships and the trials of life. You are talented and creative. Listening to you tonight, at the celebration and just a few minutes ago, you always take my breath away. I love listening to you and I don’t think that I would ever get tired of your voice. Use it more often, in every context, not just musically. You are so strong, so resilient, and fierce. No one would fault you for wanting to hide from the world. For letting the darkness you’ve experienced swallow you whole. But you don’t. You keep fighting for your life, knowing that things will get better. Even if there are those in this court that don’t want to appreciate all that you are.” Tears were again falling from her eyes, but a small smile graced her lips. Her cheeks took on a lovely blush at his praise.  

“You have such a large capacity for love,” He brushed away her tears with his thumbs. “I know things have changed and that you feel lost. But you are not alone in the feeling because so many things have changed since you were introduced into our lives. I honestly don’t know what my life would be without you.” He set his forehead against hers, his hands back around her waist, rubbing small circles. 

“Thank you,” Her whisper was so soft. He only knew that she had spoken from the breath he felt against his lips. 

“Anytime sweetness,” He smiled, squeezing her sides. She squirmed at the touch, no doubt the sensation sent a shiver up her spine. 

“With everything that has happened, the good and the horrible, it's easy to get lost in a sea of emotions.” She revealed. “It feels like that has been happening more and more lately. They swirl around jumbling my thoughts into an incomprehensible cacophony. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but there have been more nights where I just can’t sleep. Not necessarily because of the nightmares, just…from how loud everything can get. Being with you helps, but I still just wish that my brain would quiet down sometimes.” 

Ruhn hummed in thought, processing her words. He had noticed that she was more restless the past week, but he had assumed it was related to her dreams. But if she was restless due to racing thoughts there might be a solution. 

He hated the idea of her using Azriel’s tonic, but it would provide the calm she needed to sleep. He had been so scared when she wouldn’t wake when he found her after his only trip to Midgard a year ago. No matter how hard he shook her she remained unconscious. He became so panicked that he eventually placed his ear against her chest, her heartbeat slow but present. He didn’t know what to do until Azriel arrived racing up the stairs to her room. The male claimed he was on his way to check on her when his shadows notified him of Ruhn’s presence and the fact that (Y/N) wouldn’t wake. Azriel attempted to calm Ruhn down after telling him about the tonic, but he didn’t want to listen until (Y/N) was awake again.  

Once she finally woke up Ruhn demanded to know what was in it, and he wasn’t surprised to learn that it had a near lethal dosage of refined black gum mixed in. If she were to use it again it would have to be strictly monitored. He knew all too well the dangers of addiction. 

“What if,” He started, “Would taking some of the tonic help? Just a small amount, enough to help calm you.” She peered at him, her brow furrowing in thought. He loved how cute she looked, even though it was a serious topic at hand. 

“It could,” She nodded, eyes drifting towards the side with ongoing contemplation. “I just worry about pouring too much. I thought that I measured it correctly, but…” Her words trailed off as she met his gaze again. 

“What if I were to help by measuring it out for you?” He offered. “I have experience with one of the ingredients, and have an idea of what would be a good dosage for you. But I don’t want to dictate when you take it. If you feel it would be helpful, and you want my assistance I will gladly mix it up for you in some tea.” Her expression flashed with disgust at the mention of tea. 

“I’d rather swallow it as is than drink it with tea,” She stated before jokingly making a retching sound. “What if I took it with alcohol?”

“Baby, it’s already mixed with alcohol. That’s what makes it so dangerous.” 

She pouted her lips, but eventually sighed. “It would help with reducing the noise in my head?” He nodded. 

“But if you’re not comfortable with taking it we can find something else. Maybe Bryce-” She shook her head at his suggestion. 

“The tonic was the only thing that has really helped so far,” She reminded him. “I just need someone to make sure that I don’t overdo it. I’ve had my fair share of taking medications with similar properties and I always get to a point where my tolerance builds and I need more to have the same desired effect.” So she did have an understanding of the risks. Ruhn found himself relaxing a bit at that. At least he wouldn’t have to convince her to not take it daily. 

“Let’s do this then,” He offered. “You tell me when things get to be too much, and I’ll pour you the dose that fits your needs best before bed. The tonic comes with risks, but your mental health is just as important.” She nodded. 

“Do you want to go back to bed?” He asked. “Or do you want to stay down here and cuddle.” He pulled her closer, settling her hips directly over his own. He had to suppress his surprise at the feeling of her, with only his boxers separating them. 

“Cuddle in bed?” She offered. A whisper of a smile gracing her features. 

“Sounds perfect,” He returned the smile as she stood up and off his lap. Taking her hand, Ruhn led her back towards their room. 

“Wait,” She stopped at the bottom of the staircase. “What should I do when I’m in the Day Court with Lucien?”

“Does Lucien still share a bed with you in the Day Court?” Ruhn asked as he tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. A possessive part of him didn’t want to hear the answer, selfishly wanting to be the only male to keep her warm in the midnight hours. 

“No,” She responded quietly. “He sleeps in his own bed, but he does sleep in the room. We…we felt it was best given all the drama about him being mated to Elain.” Ruhn’s shoulders relaxed just ever so slightly with the news. He knew they were friends, knew that the red-headed male had been privy to a fair number of her most vulnerable moments. He had to remind himself that, based on what little information Lucien provided, there was a brief moment when their relationship had danced on the edge of the already thin line between friendship and something more. 

He had suspected that perhaps they had nearly become intimate, or at least seen each other nude. Either way he didn’t particularly like the thought of another male being so close to her in that manner. Regardless of what it was, this moment ended up being the catalyst for Lucien to diminish his presence by her side over the past year and a half. Of which Ruhn was secretly glad. While (Y/N) stated that it was a mutual decision, Lucien informed him that it was her idea and decision. So far Lucien had been true to his word of respecting that decision, even if the separation between them was clearly hurting them both. 

“I’m sure that if you explain everything that you told me, he would be more than happy to assist in keeping an eye on you,” Ruhn offered. “And if he doesn’t want to then I’ll just have to start going to the Day Court with you.” His smile was mischievous as he pulled her closer to his body. They both knew that if Ruhn, Bryce, or Hunt were to step outside of Velaris there would be too many questions surrounding them. Especially given the fact that Ruhn and Rhysand looked so similar. 

The woman rolled her eyes, “Everyone was in agreement that knowledge of travelers from other worlds needed to be kept within the confines of the Inner Circle.” Her voice took on an almost mocking tone as she repeated Rhysand’s words. “At least until it becomes necessary to share that information.”

Ruhn knew that Rhysand would only reveal the existence of other worlds if there was a direct threat that required the assistance of other leaders. The hope was that those from Midgard would be able to defeat the Asteri largely on their own, and that (Y/N) would find a way home without the other High Lords taking notice. While (Y/N) had interactions with Helion, as far as Ruhn knew he had yet been informed of her true origins. 

“I know,” Ruhn said, bringing her hand to his lips before he tugged her up the stairs. “Plus that’s your time alone with Lucien. I doubt he would want me third wheeling.” She giggled. Fucking giggled and his heart soared. 

“Just hurry up,” She pushed at his back the rest of the way up the stairs. “I wanna cuddle.”

Yet another Autumn was in full swing in Velaris marking a full 4 years since you arrived in this world. Despite your ongoing trips to the Day Court you were no closer to finding a way home. As much as that simple fact upset you, you were slowly becoming more used to your life in Prythian. Every morning was the same routine of you waking next to Ruhn and having breakfast together before Azriel and Cassian took you to the House of Wind for your self defense training. Training was followed by caring for Nyx 4 days a week. You loved your time with the little heir, but you’d be lying if you said you also didn’t love having time to do what you wanted on your days off. 

Most days you would engage in your own hobbies of reading and music, and others you would explore Velaris with someone from the Inner Circle. Well, all except for Rhysand really. Each of the other members had their merits and you didn’t mind getting to know them. You especially enjoyed occasionally joining Nesta and her friends for a book club sleepover. She practically provided you with a never ending supply of romance novels, most of which were not for the faint of heart in regards to smut. Of course, you devoured each and every one of them, but even with the friendships you were forming, you really preferred the time you spent with Ruhn. 

You were together every night, and he really had become your rock since your break down after Starfall. You always expressed your gratitude and appreciation for his support, verbally and through small gestures. However, a part of you felt bad because he did so much for you; not only did he provide comfort and support, but he ensured that Lucien was made aware of your needs as well. 

The three of you had a very open and honest conversation surrounding the tonic and Lucien spending more time with you in the Night Court. Ruhn had recognized your needs and was proactive in making sure they were met. You were constantly on the lookout for a way to return his efforts, but there never seemed to be an opportunity. 

You didn’t want to push the topic, aware that he had his own emotions to process. The loss associated with someone that you were almost certain may have been his mate, even if he didn’t recognize that himself, and being away from his friends surely was taking an emotional toll. Not to mention that his entire life had abruptly changed, being captured and tortured, only to be rescued and forced to live on a world that was not his own. It was a similar situation to yours, so who better to share his feelings with? You wanted to do something for him, support him in the ways he supported you, but you didn’t know where to start since he didn’t open up in the same way. 

Sitting on the couch in the front parlor of the townhouse, your mind wandered in and out from thinking of various ideas as you read the latest novel borrowed from Nesta. Of course, the novel was one of her favorites and she gave you a warning to only read it when you were alone. You wished you had listened, clamping your legs together at the thought of Ruhn going down on you like the male lead in the novel. Which led you to wonder if he would enjoy a blow job as a way for you to express your thanks. So far the contents of this particular novel only inspired ideas that you were certain Ruhn would want no part of,  at least not with you. You were friends, nothing more. You’d been friendzoned enough times to know that was all you’d ever be with the annoyingly handsome male. 

Apart from the fact that you had to push the dirty thoughts from your mind, it was a nice quiet afternoon. One that was made all the more enjoyable with Lucien by your side. Well, he wasn’t exactly by your side as your legs were technically draped over his lap. His own book in one hand while the other traced lazy designs on your exposed thigh. 

You smiled to yourself as his fingers drew their designs. The sensation caused a shiver to run up your spine. You were grateful the male had followed through on his promise to see you more often between trips to the Day Court, even if he was technically sneaking behind Rhysand’s back to do it. He had reassured you that if you ever became uncomfortable with the extra visits he would stick to the schedule Rhysand set. Of course, you told him that you would never push him away, that you enjoyed all the time you got to spend with your best friend. Though, that didn’t stop you from worrying. There had already been a few close calls with Azriel almost finding out. The most recent incident was a month ago. 

Lucien arrived at the townhouse, winnowing into the back garden. The two of you spent the morning of your day off lounging in your room. Ruhn had left just a few minutes prior, jokingly warning against any “funny business”. You had rolled your eyes, the notion of anything like that occurring between you and your friend was utterly ridiculous, that morning in the Day Court being a fluke. He was mated and not at all interested in any other female, especially not a human. 

The two of you spent most of the day talking and catching up. He was in the middle of  recounting an instance of Jurian making a fool of himself at one of the human markets when you heard the front door of the townhouse open. You knew that Ruhn wouldn't be back for at least another hour. So whomever was downstairs was someone you were not expecting. 

“(Y/N)?” Azriel’s voice floated up the stairs. Of course, it had to be one of the worst people to show up unexpectedly. Your eyes went wide, looking at Lucien whose eyes were equally wide. 

“Under the bed!” You whisper shouted to the red-head. The two of you scrambled getting Lucien underneath your bed. You had just resettled on top of the mattress from fixing the sheets when Azriel’s head popped up around the corner of your door frame. 

The conversation between the two of you was short with him asking if you wanted to go to a new bakery that had just opened. You politely declined, claiming that you weren’t feeling the best and were probably going to take a nap. If one thing could be said, Azriel had become much better about respecting your boundaries, so he excused himself and offered to go with you another time. 

After hearing the front door close again, you rushed over to the top of the stairs to make sure that he truly left. When you returned to your room, you quickly shut the door and locked it just in case someone else decided to show up unannounced. You made your way back over to the bed and dropped down to the ground. Lifting the bedskirt you started to laugh. 

“Comfy?” You asked, a wide grin spreading across your face as you looked at the male. Lucien was lying on his stomach, hair mussed from the effort in maneuvering himself around while under your mattress. 

“Hardly.” His voice was less than amused as he attempted to crawl back out. The sight was one of the most entertaining you had witnessed in quite some time. His slow wiggling army crawl made him look more like a worm than the formidable predator that you knew Fae males to be. You couldn’t help but laugh loudly and fully. You laughed so hard that tears were streaming from your face and a slight pain bloomed on your side. You had not laughed like that since before your arrival in this world. The only thing that stopped you was the fact that you nearly triggered a coughing fit. 

“This makes me feel like a teenager again,” You admitted between laughs. “When I had to hide my boyfriend from my parents. Azriel has a bit of a tendency to act like such a dad!” You erupted into another bout of boisterous laughter. “Daddy Az!” Lucien just stared at you, his expression torn between amusement and irritation. You just continued to cackle.  

The two of you couldn’t always hide out in your bedroom though. Which is how you ended up in your current position on the couch, the dark gray curtains of the picture window overlooking the cobblestone street drawn shut. Your eyes focused back on the book in front of you. You kept your face as neutral as possible as the two main characters started to engage in a downright raunchy sex scene. You were no stranger to smutty stories, but the level of detail this author included was not what you were expecting. There was honestly no real plot to this book, just bold erotica. 

The passage of the book ignited a longing in your core. Again, you were forced to rub your thighs together to try to alleviate the desire building inside you. Lucien’s fingers stopped their movement, carefully squeezing your thigh. You couldn’t tell if it was in response to anything you were doing or if he just wasn’t paying attention. Regardless, you recognized that your body was reacting to the scene too strongly. Fuck, you needed to get laid. Five years without sex is way too long. 

You were so engrossed in your novel and the thoughts surrounding the passage that you didn’t hear the voices of those approaching the townhouse. You also didn’t hear the group enter and make their way into the parlor. 

“Aww, aren’t you two sweet?” Bryce cooed from the entryway. Your body jolted from surprise. One would have thought the book in your hands burned your skin with how quickly you dropped it. That was nothing compared to the shriek you let out when Ruhn’s face appeared next to your shoulder. 

“What are you reading?” His deep voice sent heat straight to your core. Goosebumps rose up along your arms as his breath fanned across your ear. He gave you a quick peck of a kiss to your cheek before leaning down to pick up the book. You felt Lucien’s grip on your thigh tighten before it went back to tracing indiscriminate patterns. His attention went to Bryce and Hunt, striking up a conversation with them. You reached for the book, but when you failed to answer Ruhn quickly enough, he pulled the novel away before you could get a decent grasp on it. 

“Hey! I am reading that!” You screeched at the dark haired male. You attempted to go for the book again, but Ruhn pranced out of your reach. 

“Well, isn’t this interesting.” He mused before exaggerating the clearing of his throat. The next sentence that came out of his mouth consisted of the most explicit erotica you had ever heard in your life. There was nothing left to the imagination at the graphic detail the author laid out. You felt the color drain from your face as the other three individuals immediately stopped their conversation while Ruhn continued to read in an overly dramatic fashion. 

“I begged him for his seed. Begged him to fill me. I-” Ruhn scrunched his face as his eyes scanned the page. “Fucking Hel I’m not saying that out loud. You know if you’re interested in this material all you have to do is ask. I’d be glad to show you first hand.” Ruhn dangled the book in front of your face. A smirk stretching across his features. 

Your hands reached for the book again, “Give that back.” You demanded. Your face burned red from the embarrassment that filled your chest. Ruhn pulled the book out of your reach a second time. Placing the corner of the novel against his cheek he hummed in playful contemplation. 

“No.” His statement was simple. “If you want it, come get it.” With that he raced out of the room. 

“Fucking asshole!” You seethed under your breath. Your embarrassment clouded your better judgment. A part of you knew that you fell for whatever scheme he was planning, but another part of you didn’t care as butterflies filled your stomach.  

“You’re such a child!” You shouted, swinging your legs to the side of the couch. Without a second thought you raced after him, barely registering Bryce’s comment. 

“She’s aware that she's just in that long tank top and panties right?” Bryce snickered.  

As you rounded the corner into the front hall you saw the back door slam shut. You ran for the door, quickly following him into the back garden. You stomped over to Ruhn, his bright eyes lit up like the night sky. You weren’t about to give him the satisfaction of you having to ask a third time to return the book, so you simply held out your hand expectantly. 

You honestly shouldn’t have expected that he would return the book so easily. No, Ruhn Danaan was a jerk that enjoyed teasing you at every possible opportunity. He held the book high above his head, completely out of your reach. But boy, did you make a spectacle of yourself trying to retrieve the item responsible for your shame. You jumped, arm extended upwards hoping to wrap your fingers around the book’s spine, only for Ruhn to move the book to his other hand. You smacked his chest and made a second attempt to jump for the book. However, you lost your balance as your foot landed on the tip of Ruhn’s boot. 

The male caught you, his arms slipping around your waist to steady you. With the book now within your sights as it rested on your hip you spun yourself around with the hopes to finally catch it. Alas, you were bested by his supernatural Fae reflexes. His arm was back in the air, the book dangling above his head. His other arm tightened around you, pulling your back flush against his chest. 

“Come on sweetness,” He mocked. His lips pressed against your ear. “You can do better than that can’t you?” You growled in frustration. The male just laughed, kissing the top of your head. 

“Would you stop that,” You warned, attempting and failing to push his face away from yours. You didn’t want him to know the effect that his lips and breath against your skin caused. The shiver that traveled down your spine. The way your legs turned to jelly. You were grateful that his arm was around you, certain that your knees would give out otherwise. Desire built within you the longer he held you close, wrapped in his warmth. 

“Did you know that when you’re aroused your scent takes on a slight hint of amber musk?” He crooned. He hadn’t moved his lips from their spot against your ear lobe. “It surprisingly complements the vanilla and honey very well.” Your eyes went wide and you whipped your head around to face him. You knew that the Fae had a more sensitive sense of smell, but you had been uncertain of the extent of this ability. The idea that anyone would be able to smell hormonal changes or emotions as if this were a poorly written omegaverse story, made you nervous. Knowing Ruhn was able to tell when you were aroused…You were absolutely mortified. 

“Aww baby, don’t worry,” He tried to reassure you, but the teasing tone to his voice never dissipated. “I’m certain that I’m the only one to have picked up on that.” He paused, his voice almost clipped. “Perhaps Lucien too.” You groaned. It was one thing for Ruhn to notice and become familiar with your scent. He lived with you and slept next to you every night. Somehow you felt even more embarrassed to know that Lucien could also tell. You made a vow to never read another smutty book in either of their presences ever again.  

“Just, give me the book Ruhn,” You were rapidly getting tired of this game.

“I will, if you tell me something about you that no one else knows,” He finally let you go. “And gimme a kiss.” 

“A kiss? Really?” You were exasperated and leveled him with a glare. “Aren’t we both a bit old to act like immature and hormonal teenagers?” 

“Maybe,” He mused, swinging the book in front of your face. “It doesn’t have to be more than a simple little peck.” You rolled your eyes. You stood there, tapping your foot with your hands on your hips as you pondered what to tell him. 

“Fine,” You bemoaned. “Seeing as no one has asked me yet, I’ll let you know when my birthday is, and my exact age.” You crooked your finger, beckoning him to come closer. Once he was close enough, you wrapped your hand around the back of his neck. You allowed your fingers to thread in his hair, his own hand coming to rest on your hip. 

You had no idea where the sudden boldness came from, but you wanted to get back at him just a little. So, using your most seductive sounding voice you whispered the information into his year. Since you weren’t entirely sure if either Prythian or Midgard used the same calendar as your world, you gave an approximation of days after one of the main solar holidays which your birthday landed on. Had you angled your head differently you would have seen how his eyes practically rolled to the back of his head at the sound of your voice. What you did note was the tightening of his grip on your hip. You then topped off your performance with a small kiss to the corner of his mouth. 

“Oh that’s not fair. That was hardly a kiss.” He complained. “And there’s no way you’re that age.” 

“I most certainly am. And you should have been more specific about the type of kiss you wanted,” You explained, offering him a sweet smile. “Book please.” Holding out both of your hands you patiently waited for him to comply. With an exaggerated sigh, he placed the racy novel into your awaiting hands. You beamed up at the male, lips parting to make a sarcastic remark when someone behind you cleared their throat. Lucien stood on the wooden deck, shifting from one foot to the next. 

“I should be getting back to the human lands,” He announced, eyes focusing on Ruhn. A harsh expression crossed his features. 

“Okay,” You nodded, choosing to ignore how Lucien’s gaze never left the other male’s, and quickly ran up to him. He opened his arms, enveloping you in a hug as part of your usual parting routine. You embraced him as well, taking in a deep breath as you pressed your nose against his neck. You knew that your sense of smell wasn’t anything like the Fae’s, incapable of picking out each and every specific scent that made up the whole. But that didn’t stop you from wanting to memorize the way he smelled. You couldn’t put your finger on any one particular fragrance, the only thing your mind could determine was that he just smelled like a warm and cozy autumn afternoon. Ruhn had his own scent in your mind as well. Again, nothing that you could describe beyond the way it made you feel at ease and secure.  

Lucien held you close, his own face buried against your neck. Perhaps he also found comfort in the way you smelled. You suddenly remembered Ruhn’s comment, of the two of them being able to smell your arousal. Carefully you pulled away from Lucien before wishing him a safe journey back to his shared home with Vassa and Jurian. The males gave each other a small nod, and within the blink of an eye Lucien was gone. 

Lucien had lost count of how many times he read the passage in the center of the page of his open book. His attention continuously strayed to the woman whose legs were draped over his lap. Her attention focused on the novel in her own hands lent to her by Nesta, eyes darting side to side as her gaze swept over what must have been truly tantalizing material. Especially if the intoxicatingly sweet aroma spilling off her was anything to go by.

It took effort for him to keep his breaths steady, fighting against the desperate desire to inhale deeply every time the breeze brushed through the open window and ruffling her hair. His left hand rested across her plump thighs, fingertips tracing lazy designs along the outer side. Every now and again the softest hum would slip past her lips. The sound caused his cock to twitch against the fabric of his trousers.

The scent of her arousal was thick and heady. He glanced over to her, careful not to rouse suspicion that he was watching. A thin lacy off-white strap of her light blue cotton top slipped off her shoulder. The simple item was one that Bryce had given her for the Winter Solstice last year, and her breasts looked sinful whenever she wore it. Another breeze flitted past, and Lucien watched as her nipples peaked underneath the fabric. Mother above; he had to bite the inside of his cheek to stop the groan that wanted out.

An eternity passed by as he debated on giving up his attempts to read entirely. The need to taste her was damn near overwhelming. That desire quickly won out. Without another thought he allowed his fingers to trail higher up the exposed silken flesh of her thigh, slowly moving towards the apex between her legs. He delicately brushed over the outline of her pubic mound before moving on to the opposite leg. He watched intently as her breath became shallow, hitching when his fingers teased over the sensitive area again. Her eyes stopped their flitting movement from taking in the words on the pages before her, however, she didn’t bring her attention to him. Instead, she parted her legs just enough for him to dip his hand between them. A silent invitation.

He accepted the gift that was offered to him, and curled his fingers between the limbs, pressing the outside of his pinky against the thin fabric of her matching panties. Ever since their trip to the Day Court she stopped wearing any articles of clothing that would obscure her legs from his view when they were alone together. He had no complaints, secretly loving the fact that she felt confident enough to show them off. Her breath hitched again. A smile twitched at the corner of his mouth, pleased with the reaction he was eliciting from her. He moved his hand up and down, dragging the edge of it along her folds. She spread her legs a little further, and Lucien felt the damp spot that had seeped through the cotton material. 

Lucien turned his head to better look at the woman. Her book swayed in her grip as her eyes fluttered shut from the pleasure she was already feeling. He pressed his hand further between her legs and hooked his pinky finger under the fabric separating her flesh from his. He smirked with satisfaction; she was absolutely soaked. She whimpered as his finger wriggled in between her folds, inching closer to that precious bundle. Her body went taut as soon as he made contact, and her eyes found him. His grin was triumphant.

Her book fell to the side, thumping against the carpet beneath the couch they lounged upon. Lucien tossed aside his own book, not caring where it landed in the parlor. He twisted to face her, her legs falling open for him. Wordlessly his hand traveled up to the waistband of her underwear and began to pull down. Lifting her hips, she allowed him to remove the garment. His mouth watered at the sight of her glistening cunt before him. He maneuvered himself lower, bracing his forearms on the cushions. Gently pulling on her leg to bring her closer, she then angled her hips to give him better access to her center. He kissed his way up the inside of one thigh, gently blowing warm air over her folds, and kissed back down the opposite thigh. She stifled a moan at the contact. He wrapped one arm around the thigh resting against the back of the couch, pinning her in place. His other hand traced up the inside of her opposite leg, gently pushing it further out, opening her to him completely.

He looked at her again, her chest rising and falling from breathlessness. She made no move to stop him, so he descended upon her. He brushed his nose along the seam of her entrance. Her inhale sharp and sudden as he trailed it over her clit. His tongue soon followed, dragging along from the base of her entrance, dipping in to collect her honeyed essence on his tongue. He moaned at her flavor, his cock now hard and straining against his trousers. His tongue languidly found its way up to her clit, gently circling around it. The needy whimper she made was music to his ears, encouraging him to recreate an intricate dance over her sensitive pearl. 

He brought his hand up and spread her lips, before flicking over her bud with the strong muscle. She cried out, her hand winding its way into his hair. He grinned in satisfaction as she held him close to her. He gave his undivided attention to that bundle of nerves. Alternating between the tip and flat of his tongue pressing against her. She called his name when he wrapped his lips around her pearl and sucked. Her head was thrown back in complete bliss. She didn’t hold back any of her pleasured moans, and he relished the sound.

He buried his face further into her, moving to dip his tongue deep in her core. Her hips bucked, seeking more stimulation. Lucien was all too happy to oblige. A quick kiss to her clit and he backed away. Running his fingers through her wetness, he coated the digits before sinking two into her awaiting opening. He almost came from the pleasured cry she released.

Encouraged by her voice, his lips wrapped around her pearl again. He thrust his fingers a few times, feeling along the velvety walls for the spot that would make her see stars. Upon finding it, he began to massage the spot with the pads of his fingers. More of her essence flowed from her, dripping onto the cushions below and coating the fabric with evidence from how good he was making her feel.

He could stay here, licking her core for hours if she’d let him. Cauldron, he prayed she would let him. She was so sweet, with just the right hint of musk. She squirmed her hips, but his grip on her only tightened. Her walls began to clamp around his long fingers as they continued to massage against that soft spot. Pride filled his chest. She was going to come soon, surprisingly quickly too. Not wanting to disappoint his love he wrapped his lips around her clit again and sucked harshly. She cried out as her legs began to shake. Lucien sped up the pace of his fingers inside her, matching it with the flicking of his tongue against her bud. Within seconds she came. Hard. Her walls pulsated with the pounding of her heart. He slowed his movements, but didn’t stop, wanting to savor the taste of her just a little longer.

The sound of thunder roared through the manor, instantly jolting Lucien from the dream. He growled at the fact that nature had the gall to disturb and wake him. He turned his head to the side to see the chilled droplets of water splattering against the window of his room. The human lands were always dreary this time of year. Actually, to be honest they were dreary in general, regardless of the time of year. However, that was probably to be expected south of the wall. Even with the wall gone these past five years magic had largely stayed within the Prythian Fae lands. 

Lucien groaned again, his hands rubbing along his face. He threw off the cream colored wool blanket, leaving him only covered by the matching cotton sheet. He shifted his legs only to feel the sheet get caught on his hard cock. Looking down he grunted in frustration. This hadn’t been his first sex dream, but it was the first where (Y/N) was involved. 

He was with her just the day before and wondered if this was the reason she occupied his thoughts. Her scent had been intoxicating as they sat on the couch together, basking in each other’s company. If he had to be honest with himself the dream was just a manifestation of the actions he wanted to take before they were interrupted. He groaned again. He shouldn’t be thinking of her this way. She was his friend. Yet, he couldn’t help it when the memory of her bare breasts would sneak past his defenses in the middle of the day. 

He took several deep breaths, hoping that would help him calm down. After a few minutes he could no longer stand the throbbing sensation of his member. Pulling the sheets back he looked down at his body. His cock stretched up towards his navel, hovering just above his torso. The tip glistened as lighting lit up the room. He sighed, having no choice other than to take care of the issue. 

Lucien allowed his hand to traverse down his body. If he was going to do this he may as well make it enjoyable. His large hand reached the part of him begging for attention. Gently he traced the tips of his fingers down the underside of his shaft, the touch caused him to hiss through his teeth. He continued on downward to massage his scrotum. His hips canted up as pleasure bloomed. He called forth an image of Elain in his mind. Surely it was permissible for him to think of his mate in this context, even if she was still processing the mating bond and didn’t appear to want anything to do with him. They had the time for her to process and come to a decision. So, he could let his imagination build an idea of her in his head. 

His hand went to his shaft, thumb spreading the pearl beads of liquid that flowed out. He continued to hold the picture of Elain in his mind, but it was a struggle. He kept having to consciously drag his mind back to her as it kept wandering to thoughts of (Y/N). His hand caressed along his length until it was flush against his base, squeezing as it traveled down. He performed the same action as his hand returned to the head of his cock. More liquid spilled forth and the image of (Y/N)’s tongue licking the substance from his tip slammed to the forefront of his mind. 

He moaned at the mental image of the woman, bent over between his legs. He spread them further apart ever so slightly as to make space for her body. He truly wondered what her mouth would feel like wrapped around him. How far would she be able to take him? Would she have to use her hand to caress what she couldn’t fit? How would her mouth compare to being inside her. He could easily picture her perched above him, slowly lowering herself to allow his cock to breach her warm cunt. 

Lucien warmed his hand to the temperature he imagined would wrap around him once he was fully sheathed inside. The moan that left his lips was louder than he intended. He quickly brought his free hand to his lips to muffle any other sounds that may slip out without his permission. 

He picked up the pace as he continued to picture her bouncing above him. An image of the way her breasts would bounce with the movement entered his mind. He remembered how full and heavy they looked. Gods, he had desperately wanted to wrap his lips around her peaked nipples that morning in the Day Court. 

He wondered if things would have been any different if they had given into their desires that night, or even that morning when they sobered up. Would he be able to act upon the thoughts that filtered through? Allow himself to sink deep into her warmth as they made love?  His hand continued running up and down, up and down, giving quick and firm squeezes as needed along the most sensitive parts of his shaft. He could feel pressure building in the pit of his lower abdomen, his balls tightening by a fraction. His hand moved faster as the mental version of (Y/N) rotating her hips. She would do her best to reach her own climax, wanting her euphoria to peak in time with him. 

Lucien stroked his member a few more times before that pressure boiled over. Ropes of cum spurted forth, coating parts of his abdomen. The orgasm went on longer than any he had before. A second wave caused his seed to dribble over his hand. His hand slowed and eventually stopped. 

Pulling away from his softening length he slowed his breathing. He sat up, bringing his legs over the side of the bed. Standing, he walked over to the small pitcher and basin that rested on the top of the narrow dresser in the corner of his room. He quickly cleaned himself off and returned to the bed. As he returned to a horizontal position the reality of what he did finally caught up with him. 

He came to the thought of his best friend riding him. Why? What the hell was wrong with him? It was true he missed her, despite spending more time with her in secret. Maybe that was the reason the image of her was called to his mind. Since Elain continued to push him aside, his mind instead conjured the female he missed the most, giving him pleasure he didn’t even know he craved. 

It was hard to admit, but the time spent with the otherworldly woman occupied his thoughts more and more frequently. He could only assume that his growing affection was due to the time spent with her. (Y/N) never truly wanted him out of her life. Their agreement to separate was just to stop the others from talking and meddling in what should have been just between him and his friend.  

Besides, he didn’t believe that she would be interested in him in that regard. Not when she had become so close to Ruhn. The way that the male looked at her, his need to constantly touch her and her easy acceptance of that affection sent a pang through Lucien’s chest. Yes, she was more likely to be interested in Ruhn than him. Lucien made himself believe his feelings weren’t more than a quick and fleeting infatuation anyway. She could actually create a life with Ruhn. Lucien concluded that he should let her have that life, if she so chooses. He would be perfectly content to continue their friendship. 

With his thoughts starting to settle, he listened to the rain that continued its assault on the manor he shared with Vassa and Jurian. Soon after he drifted off to sleep, but his dreams wouldn’t so easily let her go. Later that morning, Lucien found himself repeating the cycle from the night before. Perhaps he was in more trouble than he wanted to admit. 

The smell of sauteed garlic filled the townhouse when you entered. Having just returned from the Day Court with Lucien, your stomach rumbled. The week you spent there had been fruitless yet again. You were starting to believe that the information you so desperately sought simply did not exist. It had been too long without any real headway. Which didn’t make any sense. According to Nesta, one of the Night Court priestesses had, at one point, compiled research regarding other worlds. Therefore, the sources should reasonably exist. Then again, her research was more about proving the existence of other worlds, not necessarily travel between them. 

Still you clung on to some version of hope. For your next trip you were planning on going to a much older library set in the middle of the Day Court territory. According to Helion it was the oldest library in Prythian, built along the edge of a river. He explained that not only did the library house books and scrolls, but it held artifacts as well. You had to admit that you were excited for that aspect. If you couldn’t find a way home you could at least learn as much about this land that you found yourself in. 

“Ouch! Shit!” Ruhn’s shout interrupted your thoughts. You made your way into the kitchen to see said male using one hand to pour scalding water into the basin of the sink. He shook his other hand at his side, likely from the splash of the water as it hit the porcelain.  

“What is all this?” You asked, glancing around at the chaos. The kitchen island was covered in debris from cut vegetables, herbs, and what appeared to be a partial cheese wedge. At least three saucepans were on the stove top, not including the large pot he held. Ruhn chuckled nervously as he twisted to face you. 

“You’re, uh, a bit early,” He set the pot back on the stovetop. “I was hoping to have this done by the time you got here.” You were utterly confused. 

“That doesn’t answer my question,” You pointed out. You made your way further into the kitchen, the smell of garlic and onion making your stomach growl. 

“Well, I would hope that’s a bit obvious.” He smiled and your stomach filled with butterflies. “But in case it isn’t, I made you dinner.” You didn’t know how to react. It was by far one of the sweetest gestures you had received in a while. It seemed that most of the people in your life were fond of giving gifts, so something as simple as a homemade dinner was new.   

“Okay,” You still didn’t understand why he would go through this trouble of making dinner. “Why?” You couldn’t help but be cautious. While Ruhn had given you no reason to doubt his intentions, gestures like this reminded you of a past negative relationship. One of your ex’s would perform these grand gestures or even small acts of service, only to remind you of his “generosity” when he wanted something. 

Ruhn didn’t answer, but simply smiled as he continued moving about the kitchen. Cooked noodles and a few veggies were tossed into a white sauce that bubbled on the stove top. He gathered a couple of plates, setting them on the only clear spot between the stove and sink. One of his shadows managed to fetch a pair of crystal wine glasses from the cupboard. You could smell the sharp sweetness of the pale wine as he poured half a glass for you.  

“Come on Ruhn,” You placed a hand on top of his to gain his attention. “What is this all for?” 

“Today’s your birthday isn’t it?” The question rattled you. It took a few seconds for you to begin the mental calculations, and sure enough he was right. Today was your birthday. Ruhn had resumed plating the pasta dish, and therefore missed your stunned expression, surprised by the fact that he remembered. Then again, he was the only one that even knew. The reminder that no one else had even bothered to ask in the years that you had been here stung. However, you were determined to not let that ruin his thoughtfulness. 

“Follow me,” He instructed, rounding his way around the island, both plates in hand and piled high with the best smelling white wine garlic sauce that you could imagine. Excited for what the night could bring you followed as he instructed. 

You had gotten through half of your meal when Ruhn placed a rectangular black box slightly larger than your palm on the table directly in front of you. Your laughter fizzled out as you stared at the object. The butterflies were back, swirling around and threatening to fly up and out of your throat. You hadn’t expected any of this, neither dinner nor a gift, when you told him of your birthday. 

“Happy Birthday, again,” He smiled. The expression was so genuine and filled with adoration. Your heart stuttered. You looked between him and the box with wide eyes. It had been nearly four years without anyone even bothering to ask about your birthday. You were aware of everyone else’s birthdays, and at least the approximate time for Cassian’s. Everyone else received at the very least well wishes and at most celebrations were held. Yet still no one had directly asked you about yours. 

“That’s not,” You had to swallow the lump that was forming. You could only point to the object lying before you. “That’s not-”

“It’s not jewelry,” He chuckled, “If that’s what you’re worried about.” You let out a relieved sigh. 

“What is it then?” 

“You’ll have to open it if you want to find out.” He reasoned, sliding the box closer towards you. With nervous fingers you reached for it. The item was simple and reminded you of thick cardboard. The lid slid off easily, the bottom half thunking slightly against the wooden table top. Inside was what resembled a smartphone. The large black screen was dark and reflected the lights from the small chandelier above. 

Confusion crossed your features. What were you supposed to do with a cell phone living in Prythian? You couldn’t exactly use it. There were no cell towers or access to any network that would allow you to make calls or send messages. The only thing that it could be used for is a place to store music and photos. Maybe even a game that didn’t require any internet. You also had no way of keeping the phone powered up. From what you could gather, faelights and firstlight were entirely different energy sources from each other and different from the energy sources you had on Earth. So what was the reason for a gift like this? It wasn’t as if you weren’t grateful, just confused. 

“Turn it on,” Ruhn encouraged. He clearly knew something that you didn’t. You could tell the male was eager for you to find out whatever it was he had planned. You followed his instruction, powering on the device. The screen lit up, slowly going from one load screen to the next. The names of the manufacturing company and service provider were different from your own, yet still provided a sense of familiarity. When the phone finally loaded, you were greeted with an image you thought would be forever lost to you. 

The background image of the phone’s home screen was the most recent picture you had taken of your nephew before your life had changed. For the briefest of moments everything went still as you stared at the image. You had no words. You weren’t even sure if you were breathing as the tears brimmed your eyes. 

Slowly Ruhn reached over, tapping one of the two icons and a music player replaced your homescreen. He scrolled down, titles of songs flying by. It took you a moment to realize that you recognized some of them. Your brows furrowed, confusion blooming yet again. You tried to remember if there had ever been any discussion of your world having the same songs or artists as those on Midgard, but your mind came up empty. There was no way…

Your question was answered as Ruhn backed out of the music app and opened the phone’s image gallery. Your gasp was audible. Tiles of images from your life on Earth filled the screen. You scrolled through the gallery. Eventually you came to a few that you didn’t initially recognize. You clicked on the tile, causing it to expand. The image of you holding Nyx at your first Starfall forced the tears to drip from your eyes. You scrolled right to view another image. One where Ruhn had joined you and the little heir. Waves of longing washed over you. 

“I-I…H-,” You lifted your hand towards your throat as you struggled to find your voice. “How?” Your tongue felt heavy as you tried to retain some composure. You couldn’t look at the male, afraid that you wouldn’t be able to hold yourself together. This was without a doubt the most thoughtful gift you had received in your life. 

“I asked my friend, Declan,” Ruhn explained, his voice uncharacteristically soft and timid. “He’s a tech genius.” You continued to scroll through the new images. You had been completely unaware that your picture was being taken as often as it was, most of the images being candid shots of you and Ruhn together. You almost didn’t recognize yourself. Not just because your body had clearly adjusted to a life with less processed foods and regular exercise, but you appeared happy in every picture with the male. Genuinely happy. When did that happen?

“Why?” The question was a hushed whisper. This didn’t make any sense. Why would he do this for you? Why was he doing anything for you? Even if Lucien asked him to help make sure you stayed safe, Ruhn was under no obligation to go to the extent that he has for you. So why? 

“Dec managed to transfer over most of the music and photo data that was on your phone,”

Ruhn continued, dragging his chair closer towards you. “We weren’t even sure if it would work, but I’m happy it did.” 

“What do you mean?” He looked puzzled, as if the answer, his motivation was the most obvious thing in the world. The obvious reason would be that he considered you a friend. But that reason alone wasn’t sufficient for all that he did. 

“I-I don’t understand,” Words were failing you as you continued to stare at the phone. “Why…are you so good to me?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” He continued to speak as if the answer was obvious. “You deserve to feel special and cared for. You’re important to me and I…care about you.” 

“You care about me?” You finally turned to look at him. 

“Yes.” He smiled again. 

“You asked your friend to-” You had to swallow before your words got away from you. “This…all of this is because you care about me?”

“Yes.” His chuckle was gentle as he brushed his knuckles against the side of your face. You hadn’t realized how close his face was to yours. Your eyes flitted down to the curve of his full mouth, and before you could stop yourself you pressed your lips against his. Your body felt alight, zapped and thrumming with electricity. You pulled away just as quickly, eyes going wide. You didn’t mean to kiss him. Or at least, you think you didn’t mean to. Your emotions just took over. Surely he would understand that it was an accident.  

“I’m…I’m sor-” But your words were muffled as he chased your kiss with one of his own. As your lips met for a second time, everything slowed down and sped up simultaneously. Ruhn’s hold on you felt like a dream, his large warm hands cradling your face. Electricity skittered down your spine as one of the hands moved towards the back of your neck. A familiar gentle tug at your roots settled the nerves that raced through your veins. 

As you eased into the kiss, your hands came to rest on his shoulders to help ground yourself. You felt as if you were floating; though you weren’t entirely sure that you would have minded if you never came back down. All thoughts in your mind jumbled and turned fuzzy as his lips caressed and melded with your own. With each passing second you craved more of him.  

You almost wondered if he was able to read your thoughts when his hands drifted down your body, dancing over every curve until they found the small of your back. He pulled you closer towards the edge of your chair, before separating your mouths, breaths intermingling between you. 

Quicker than you could comprehend, you felt your body being lifted. The next thing you knew you were planted on the table top with Ruhn placed between your thighs as he towered over you. Plates and utensils clanged against each other and your wine glasses rattled from the force your bodies had on the wood. Your head was forced to angle up in order to reach his lips again. As you reconnected, Ruhn’s tongue traced along the seam of your closed lips. Without any hesitation you opened up to him, allowing him the opportunity to explore. 

Kissing Ruhn made you feel alive, blood vibrating with the racing of your heart. Goosebumps rose along every inch of skin as his hands wandered over your body. His kiss was all encompassing, every one of your senses on high alert and zoned in on the feel of him against you. The only sounds in the room consisted of your mingled breaths and the repeated meeting of your lips. 

Ruhn’s calloused hand traveled down the side of your waist, passing over your hips to come to rest on your lower left thigh. Fingers wrapped around the back of your knee, grip tight and secure. In a fluid motion he tugged you forward, wrapping the limb around his hip. The movement caused you to fall back, but you caught yourself on your elbows. Ruhn leaned over you, pushing you further back to lay flat against the table. 

Excitement raced through you at the thought of him taking you in the middle of the dining room. Ruhn’s mouth separated from yours and began to trace along the side of your neck. His quick breaths tickled your skin. Your hands traveled up his arms, one lingering on his bicep while the other continued to wrap tightly in his hair. You guided him to a spot on your neck that made your toes curl. Ruhn sucked on the spot of your pulse point, just below your ear. You whimpered at the tingling sensation that shot down the right side of your body, warmth spreading throughout your core. Gods, you wanted him. Wanted him sheathed deep inside you, rutting and grinding to bring you to the brink of an orgasm. 

“Fuck Ruhn,” You moaned. He grunted in reply, doubling down on his attention to that spot on your neck. Something nagged at the back of your mind, but you shoved it aside. Soon his lips trailed further down, kissing their way along the front of your throat and collar bones. His head dipped lower, down to your cleavage. 

“Ruhn,” You whined. “Slow-slow down.” However, it appeared he was too lost in his lust to have heard you. That nagging sensation in the back of your mind appeared again. 

“Ruhn, baby,” You tried to gain his attention again. “I need-”

“I love it when you say my name.” His mouth moved back as he hummed, lowering the collar of your dress. In another motion he moved aside the cup of your bra, exposing one breast to the cool air of the dining room. You could feel the bud peak from the sudden lack of warmth. His nose brushed around your nipple, and your hips canted up toward his pelvis. Your response surly was a favorable one as in the next instance his mouth enveloped the stiff bud. 

“Oh Gods!” You pulled at the roots of his midnight hair as his tongue began to gently lave over your nipple. “Ruhn, please wa-”

“It’s okay Lidia. I’ve got you.” His words forced reality to slam back into you like the coldest winter winds. 

“What did you just say?” You grabbed his face, forcing Ruhn to look at you. The blue of his irises were nearly obscured by the blown pupils. “Ruhn!” 

“What?” Ruhn blinked in surprise at the strength the woman used to push him away. His hands had to brace themselves on the edge of the table so that he didn’t fall on top of her. 

“You just called me Lidia,” Her voice was strained. The expression on her features a mix of emotions, each one vying to overtake the other to gain control of how she would react.   

“No,” Ruhn’s voice was breathless as he reeled back to a standing position above her. “No. Fuck…I-I didn’t...” Guilt washed over him as he looked at the woman before him. What the fuck was wrong with him? He didn’t mean to say that name. He knew that he was with (Y/N). He was ecstatic that he was finally getting to hold and touch her in the way he craved since well before their first Starfall. He allowed his mind to be clouded by lust.

“Was she…was Lidia the female that saved your life?” (Y/N)’s tone was somber, yet held a slight wobble. Ruhn looked down, afraid to meet her pained gaze. He noticed that her naked breast was still on display. Her eyes followed his stare and she hastily fixed her dress to cover herself.

“I…” He tried to swallow his shame. “Yes, but I didn’t-” 

“Yet you did Ruhn,” She moved off the table. Arms wrapping around herself, she sat back in her chair.

“She doesn’t mean anything,” He tried to reassure her, but even he knew that it was a lie. He didn’t understand, honestly he didn’t allow himself to understand exactly what Lidia meant to him. His feelings were jumbled like a pile of worms. A perfect reflection of how he currently felt looking at how she caved in on herself. 

The situation with Lidida was complex to say the least. He had grown to care for Agent Daybright. Hel, he had suspicions that there was something greater at work that brought them together. That was until he found out who she really was. Day, his Day, was none other than The Hind. The very same female known for hunting down and destroying any rebel life that dared make itself known on her radar. But Lidia had been a double agent. Years later and Ruhn was still trying to wrap his head around this revelation.  

“Don’t. Don’t do that.” (Y/N) begged. Ruhn couldn’t focus his attention on the present moment. 

“Do what? Baby I-” 

“DON’T LIE TO ME!” Her bitter yell shot down his spine. “Please.” He was shocked that she yelled, actually yelled. He couldn’t blame her for that though. He called her by another female’s name. Something that no one deserved, but especially her. Ruhn knew that (Y/N)  already had doubts and insecurities. He had vowed to himself that he would build her up, make her see just how desirable and worth loving she was. He thought he had finally succeeded when she initiated that first kiss. Yet despite his physical attention being on her, his use of the wrong name unraveled everything in an instant. 

“I’m not an idiot, so please do not try to play this off,” She began, her voice taking on an edge of cynicism. However, she took a breath before continuing. “I recognize that it’s complicated, at least from what little Bryce told me, but Lidia clearly meant something to you.” Complicated was putting it in the most simplistic of terms. When he found out who Lidia was, he felt betrayed. Played like a fiddle for a fool. It didn’t matter how much the female tried to talk to him through whatever bond had been forged. It didn’t matter how he would always regret shutting her out during that week, only for her to die making sure that he got out safe and alive.  

“Bryce talked to you about Lidia?” Ruhn’s own voice hardened. He felt like he had been punched in the gut. He had intentionally never mentioned Lidia’s name to (Y/N) before. He didn’t see the need since the female was no longer living and all of his attention was focused on the woman by his side day in and day out. 

“Well you certainly didn’t,” She snapped. “And I still had to ask her several times before she finally gave any information.” The (h/c) woman sighed, shoulders slumping forward from an invisible heaviness. 

“Why did you ask her?” Ruhn knew the answer. Ruhn knew that he rarely even talked about the events that lead to him getting involved with the human rebellion against the Asteri. But it was for good reason. His life had been completely turned upside down, he didn’t want to add on to anyone else’s shit. It didn’t matter that Hunt argued that (Y/N) would understand. Ruhn didn’t want to add the burden of his feelings on to her, not with all she had been through.  

“You wouldn’t open up, and I didn’t know what else to do!” She almost seemed defeated by her growing frustration. “Did you really think that I didn’t notice there were days where you were struggling? Did you think I didn’t notice when you became distant? Your gaze unfocused and attention elsewhere? Did you think that I wouldn’t listen?” Her accusation stung. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to tell her. Ruhn couldn’t. He couldn’t tell her any of this. For all that he wanted he just couldn’t open up to her. It was his job to take care of her, not the other way around. Not when her existence meant so much. But he had failed her too. He hurt her and there was no excuse. His throat constricted with remorse. 

“We’ve spent nearly four years getting to know each other,” The soft laugh that escaped her sounded beaten and on the verge of breaking. “Three of those years have been spent sleeping in the same bed almost every night. You have supported me in ways that I will never ever be able to repay. You know so much about me and my needs. I know next to nothing about you.” She wiped at her cheek, flicking away the tear that managed to slip past. He wanted to reassure her, but all he could manage was to remain silent and unmoving. The shame kept him frozen. Who knew that a single name could cause such turmoil?  

“I’ve tried Ruhn. I have asked questions about your life and your interests. All to see if you would open up to me in the ways I have shared with you; but I feel constantly shut out from anything that is meaningful. I don’t know what else to do.” Another silent tear slipped down. She sounded so tired. 

“I know that everyone heals in their own time, and I don’t want to force you to do something that you are not ready for. But if there is to be anything between us,” Her tone became a plea, “If there are any genuine feelings, then I need you to share yourself with me. I want to know who you are and support you when you need comfort. It is only fair.” Ruhn knew that she was right. That Hunt was right. She would be the only one that would be able to understand the upheaval and veering trajectory that his life had taken. 

“I also,” She suddenly became much more hesitant. “I also need to know that you are able to differentiate me from her.  I shouldn’t have to compete with a ghost. I deserve more than to be a consolation prize.” Her last statement felt like a slap in the face. He knew she didn’t deserve that, but he also recognized how easy it was for her to feel that way. Lidia essentially gave her life for Ruhn. He would forever feel responsible and grateful to her. So when he referred to the woman in front of him by his almost lover, he made all of her insecurities come true. 

“I am so sorry,” His voice cracked, desperate to apologize. “That was a fucking shitty thing for me to do. You don’t deserve that. I-I know that. I just…” How was he supposed to explain something that he didn’t fully understand?

“It’s fine,” The words were clipped, acidic and dismissive. This situation was a far cry from fine as she looked away. He wished she would rage and lash out at him, not this quiet acceptance of suffering. Didn’t she feel safe enough to speak her mind and show all of her emotions with him? 

“You don’t need to explain anything tonight. Take the time that you need, and know that I am here if  you need me,” The sentiment was sincere, even if her voice felt empty as she continued to stare off into the corner. “But I think that it may be best for us to sleep in separate rooms. At least for a few days.” His breath shuddered, throat closing as he held back his own tears, but he nodded his agreement. He didn’t want to be separated from her, but understood why she wanted some space. 

“Do-” He cleared his throat. “Do you want the tonic then?” He fiddled with one of the rings on his hand. He sent a shadow to collect the bottle from the spot he kept it stored. 

“Yes,” Her tone wavered. “I can mix it though. You should get some rest.” The bright clinking of the bottle hitting the table was deafening in the now quiet dining room. Ruhn watched in silence as she uncorked her liquid salvation, splashing a few drops into the rest of her wine. He didn’t stop her. Her gaze remained averted, fingers gracefully lingering on the stem of the clear glass. He moved to get a better look at her. 

“(Y/N),” His voice died in his throat at the emptiness he found in her gaze. She shifted her face ever further away, a clear indication that their conversation for the evening was over. 

General tag list: @loving-and-dreaming

Series tag list: @jenniferpendragon @impossibelle @sweet-chai-amore @myheartfollower @iimichie

@fightmedraco @nikkitch0703 @eerievixen @ang-taylorsversion

@randomness-it-is @thehighlordishere @rachelnicolee @hardcoremarvelfan @awkardnerd @sundayysunshine

@jpgtae @cheneyq @morganwdarius @latinxbipride @catharticlovewriter

[cosmicjoke]

Hello , the "levi hate annie" is kinda of a projection to "levi hate zeke" if we're talking about ships, the thing is the people in question are fundamentally different. This detail is often overlooked but if I'm not wrong levi tested zeke for any guilt or remorse by asking repeatedly about ragako village yet zeke proved to be irredeemable whereas annie hated what she did from the beginning I mean she was forced into all of this by her father anyway. Even though i am a levi x petra shipper, I dont agree with that idea cus it messes with levi's character and as petra fan too and this is a bit of an overreach, I'd like to think that if petra lived up to that point she has the ability to sympathize with annie and maybe forgive.

Sorry if this is includes ships and you may be uncomfortable with but it's a parallel that I've noticed among some of my community.

Oh, for sure. You interpreted Levi's intention correctly in the scene between him and Zeke, when Levi keeps questioning Zeke over his actions in Ragako Village He's trying to gauge if Zeke feels any remorse at all for what he did, because he wants to determine whether Zeke can actually be trusted. Levi realizes that Zeke feels no remorse at all, and therefore, he continues to distrust and despise him. If Zeke had shown even an inkling of genuine remorse, there's no doubt in my mind that Levi, while he probably never would have liked Zeke, still would have forgiven him. People don't get this about Levi's character, which I can't understand why, but he's the least judgmental character in AoT, and he forgives all the time and rarely holds anything against anyone. And for Annie, that's exactly the difference. Annie felt deep remorse for her actions. We see Annie crying from Levi's perspective. He's the one that notices her tears, after she's killed his squad. He doesn't hate her and he doesn't seek revenge against her. People mistakenly insist he should have or that it would have been in character for him to do so because they mistake his goal of killing Zeke as a quest for revenge, when, as I've repeated endlessly, Levi didn't want to kill Zeke out of revenge, he wanted to kill him because it was the only way to give meaning to the lives given that day in Shinganshina. Levi isn't a vengeful person at all, and people that think he is fundamentally misunderstand his character. He would have understood better than anyone that Annie was just a child doing what she thought she had to do in order to survive.

And Petra was very similar to Levi in terms of compassion and kindness, and so I fully agree that Petra, too, would have been forgiving toward Annie, despite being murdered at her hands. Part of what connected Levi and Petra was Petra's ability to see past the seemingly aloof and distanced facade of Levi's outer expression, to the deeply kind and caring man he actually is, and also picking up on when he was trying to communicate that compassion or attempting to offer comfort to someone, but struggling to do so. Petra saw what kind of a person Levi actually is, because Petra, like Levi, was exceptionally empathetic.

So yeah, people that think either Levi or Petra hate or would hate Annie just don't get their characters at all.

[fictiongods]

Top 5 Faith episodes (in either Buffy or Angel)?

Okay I struggled with this initially because I feel like all of her episodes are all so important to her character, she’s never really on screen unless she is there telling a story. But top five going from least to best would be:

5. Revelations

I feel like this is our real first hint to who Faith actually is, not the Cool Party Girl she tries to be. I know that there are plenty of hints that are present within the first few episodes she is in (her whole first episode is filled with it) but I do feel like it is missed to the casual viewer, especially as there are still people who think she’s just a flat monster no real reason (or reason they care to find) to it. But this episode to me is like the first one that really dives into all of that with Mrs. Post and her trust issues and her authority issues, all that good stuff.

4. Enemies

I mean, what can I say? I’m a sucker for gay forehead kissage. But no for real, I do actually really like this episode as one for Faith alone, I feel like sometimes it gets diminished into just for fuffy (or at least from some spaces I’ve seen) but it shares a lot about Faith. I can’t remember if she’s said it earlier than this forgive me if I’m wrong — but I think this is the first real piece we get about Faith’s mom besides the one line in FH&T that I don’t really think the writers put much thought into. While I think Faith did bury a lot of her motives, she also told a lot and showed just how lonely and jealous and insecure she really was, and a really great post from herinsectreflection put the loser line into perspective as well which was intriguing and fun to dig into (Plus just generally I was actually shook by that plot twist and didn’t see it coming at all. Like I thought they’d get his soul back but I didn’t know that he never lost it in the first place and that Buffy was in on it, so that was pretty cool, I just liked the episode).

3. Orpheus

This is what I mean when I say that all of Faith’s episodes are in conversation with each other because her three episode arc in Angel were all so connected that anything thematically relevant I wanted to talk about just came down to picking one. You can find crumbs of everything I would have wanted to say across all three. I loved how this was a direct call back to enemies (as someone who already obviously enjoyed the episode), Faith fighting so hard to get Angel’s soul back as the exact inverse of what she did there. Also, I love that they finished her prison arc. She was only hiding! She felt so (rightfully) guilty of what she had done and instead of living in the world and making redemption, she hid. And they literally paralleled that directly to Angel himself with him in the alley for 20 years with rats, so like add that to the Angel Is Faith continuum. Plus s6 really put me right in the feels with this, so then it also paralleled Faith to s6 Buffy (as season s6 was being Faith) and it was just like a whole parallel fest. Plus Angel and Faith Faith and Angel my two gremlins who go evil from lack of/having sex <333 ( just an amazing arc of beating Faith down and getting her all bloody, shower scene, breaking the windows cause None Will Survive around her and a magical mind mushroom trip. Amazing. (special shout out to that woman who asked Faith to make out and Faith immediately pushes her against the wall and threatens her. Fantastic I think about you everyday.))

2. Five by Five

Can you even call yourself a Faith fan if this isn’t in your top five? It gives you everything. It really gets into the heart of Angel too, asking the questions of what does redemption mean, is it different for different people, can you atone for what you did after all this darkness etc etc. It also allows Faith to be a bit darker than she was in Buffy* and lets her spiral in a way that is really impactful. This episode again is one I wanted to include sanctuary in, because what comes after all the violence and chaos is equally important to this episode, but ultimately I just find this one more interesting scene wise than anything. The rain scene was one of the most devastating things I have ever seenand easily wormed its way into one of my favorite scenes in basically anything I’ve ever watched. The way it’s just two of the most fucked up people you’ve ever seen in your whole life just holding each other, because what else is left? What else is left after all this death and destruction and chaos other than love that somehow made it through? It falls into the category of Xander and Willow in Grave (6x22), and to a bit of lesser extent Buffy and Giles in Passion (2x17), and probably others I cant remember off the top of my head. I think it was just extremely well written and makes you feel every single emotion you have.

1. Who are you?

This one just hits you over the head with a red brick on fire and goes “Look at her!!! LOOK AT HER!!! LOOK AT DAMAGED GIRL!!!!” So like. Easily one of the best Faith episodes that Eliza Dushku wasn’t even really there for. I don’t think I need to say how amazing SMG did as Faith, she got every last mannerism down. This episode gives you everything you could ever want as both a Faith Stan and a Fuffy Shipper, and I would say her start to redemption begins here, not on Angel. She’s no where done, but this is something. She is literally becoming the light as a shadow, transforming into something more than she is. It’s the first step to being the Good Slayer and a person who is capable (and capable of believing) she can do some good in a life that only ever beat her down. It is also arguably, one of the must fucked up things you see in this show. It connects to the darkest parts of Faith and shows every aspect of Faith out in the open (being that we see it; characters may not) such as her own issues with sexual abuse, her sexual abuse of both Riley and Buffy, her intrusive thoughts, her death wish, her running, her views on her and Buffy’s relationship as BUFFY LITERALLY IS COMPARED TO A GOD FOR HER. Crazy shit. And there’s so much imagery and little parallels or nods to other things that every time I rewatch I get something new to see. Just generally is a fantastic episode, who doesn’t enjoy a body swap? (Soulmatism of Fuffy soulmatism of Fuffy soulmatism of Fuffy soulmatism of—)

*I say a bit cause I definitely think Who Are You? is darker than that episode, but Angel I feel just has darker themes in principle than Buffy does.

[burirammin]

Laguna Seca 2013 corkscrew overtake : Moments on track and comm quotes that made me raised my eyebrows and go 'oh, so was it building up all this time? or was it really not intentional as he said after all?' + some Marc praising as per usual

This is whole post is just me trying to gather evidence for the sole purpose of psychoanalyzing Marc and failing spectacularly. I'm not here to answer the age old question of 'was this overtake a predetermine maneuver?' I'm just here to present the evidence™ because honestly who knows what that man, liar extraordinaire. one of thee MotoGP unreliable narrators along side the man himself (affectionate), was thinking. And well, nothing was ever that simple anyway. Regardless, picking apart things are fun! so feels free to put your thought here cause my head is just... a void, no coherent thoughts resides here. Enjoy?

Sachsenring post-race press conference

Marc said that he had studied video of the track before arriving and will take a scooter on Thursday, which he did (video courtesy of our residential MotoGP grand scholar batsplat). He also said that he will struggle a little bit as he has never ridden there while both Cal and Vale fully expected him to be competitive.

FP1 : Going on a scooter ride at the corkscrew (will be refer as T8 from now on) with Santi on Thursday (replay)

I've already mention it here on this post, wondering if Marc, know fan of the legend that is Valentino Rossi, was thinking about Vale's overtake on Casey from back in 2008 while riding right along the crime scene.

FP2 : Marc takes a line cutting into the kerb at T8

"He's using the whole track, definitely including the kerbs there. Marquez, he is the fastest in this session with a 1.22.254. And you know, Cal Crutchlow said this could be sort of track that suits him. Physical. You have to be aggressive around there"

"I love your descriptions. You said, he throws it down the corkscrew. That's so right! just threw it in didn't he? that's the way he rides"

FP3 : More instance of cutting the T8 kerb + topping the session with a fun remark from Cal Crutchlow

"Marc Marquez then, tops once more and improving once more. Cal Crutchlow said that if he was top then.. clearly meant that he had been out on a road bike here"

"He lied to all of us"

"He's a liar Tommy, yeah *laughing* right. Ah, it's another extraordinary morning for Marquez"

FP4 : Even more instance of, of course, cutting that damn kerb

"Yeah Marquez, first look at the track was on Thursday on a scooter. So he really has done an amazing job"

"Now we was asked yesterday by Italian press about that line. He goes 'if I do go on a kerb, on the inside, it's generally a bit of mistake' However he said 'I've actually set some fast lap time on that' So it might be a line through to just run it across the inside of the kerb. And remember, Stoner found that didn't he? and Rossi said he's reminded of Stoner riding the circuit when Marc was out there and that should be a worry for the rest cause uh, Stoner won here on 3 occasions"

"Once on a Ducati and twice on a Honda didn't he?"

Q2 : Marc has a run off, completely cutting off and back into the track at T8

"Moment in the corkscrew" "First little warning for him perhaps Ben?"(It was Ben Spies by the way. He was not racing at the moment due to injuries)

"Yeah, well they said, what? First. 'man that might have been a twenty points you know. You better do it again'"

"There we go. That was the Valentino Rossi memorial line, through the corkscrew"

"Well he's allowed there it's his first time here"

"Well. We'll give him that one he's been so impressive this weekend in this track. Can't underestimate the performance he's put in his first time at this circuit. It's just that... completely unique prospect for MotoGP"

WUP : Interesting commentary on taking a different line

"Talking about passing opportunities. Marc Marquez yesterday, was saying that what he did in Sachsenring was he practices a couple of places to overtake people during practice. He actually work on going on lines that weren't the normal line, working out where he can make passes cause he's not have race experience here. He's trying to work out the opportunity to get through. It's not an easy track to overtake on but there are places where you can get through and Marquez said he'd done that here as well. But he won't tell us where, he won't tell us what he's done, or what he's got up his sleeves"

"Can you blame him?"

"No. Not at all"

We all know what happened next in the race.

THE rosquez honeymoon happened, that is. I know this is not to discuss on that but god. All the interactions (dare I say sexual tension) during the weekend was insane, 'Marc is me, but with the upgrading' the choking in the parc ferme etc. etc. Their relationship was and is insane. Not to mention the correlation between the 2008 Laguna Seca overtake to this one to the one in 2015 Assen. Oh, we can talk about that all day long baby. It will never ends.

Okay well, I lied about having no coherent thought about this. I have one single, very non-controversial thought. The overtake itself, to me, was not intentional as Marc was ran wide (2013 Laguna Seca MotoGP Post-Race Round Up: Of Marquez' Achievements, The Legality Of The Pass, And The Lone Yamaha by David Emmett for a race recap with some pretty spicy discussions going down under the article). But did the thought of overtaking there at the corkscrew ever crossed his mind? My opinion is that it did, in a way, but not like how it actually happened and that's why he said what he said about it all.

Hmmm. Yeah. That’s about it.

Every time I think too much about Vale and Marc interactions my monkey brain immediately go too close to rpf territory and my brain just DON'T do rpf properly so this is where I stop (and why I never writen anything really. just not one of my strong suits)