#talking 2 myself here

[sageandred]

Am I the only one that truly recognizes Carter for a victim AND a villian (idk how else to word this 1st sentence but this isn't pro carter, or even anti). He keeps making choices and going down this bad path that he was undoubtedly groomed into at one point. Declan has proved to be worse/more powerful. My take is that it's only fair that Declan gets his comeuppance (haven't watched the new episode yet so idk); presumably he will though possibly after a long string of acting as the villian arc going by Hollyoaks' way of doing things. Carter was once a young boy that was taken advantage of that has years and years of a poor and incorrect belief system to guide him into his own kind of monster, but the thing is the show paints that idea for you. It's more subtle, but it does acknowledge how he was a victim, giving you information on his childhood/context clues (i dont need it spelled out). The parallels with Lucas are obvious and intentional. I do think his fate/ending was always what it's going to be. His relationship with John Paul was always purposeful to his character arc. It served as a useful tool to show a softer side and make you feel for his painfully closeted life. But he was always going down a deeper hole and dark path, because not only was he terrified and lying to himself (understandable), but he would go to the furthest lengths for his own benefit if he had to from the start. He used Maxine to send a message to JP inviting him to see them after sleeping together, he blindsided him more than once, tried CT on him, only went back with remorse when he wanted to hook up, and generally intentionally hurt people if it'd meant it'd protect himself. With JP, what started as a hopeful union between the two was tainted with Carter lying, setting out to trick him, and literally using him down to his weak, yet selfish desire of his lusting after JP following his mistreatment towards him time and time again. Like did Carter ever ever care about JP at all, or did he just have an understandable desire to explore his sexuality as a closeted, non-admitting man, so that's why he pursued anything? (also note the "relationship" started too quick and crashed /burned just as fast, which was the point whether they ever worked out or not)

It's entirely possible for adults to have gone through their own kind of trauma as a child that contributes to their experiences and behaviors and for that behavior to not automatically be demonized because of the long-lasting effects trauma can have, but that's a case-to-case judgement. Maybe Carter would turn out better had he had help and a good support system, long long ago, a juxtaposition to Lucas. But that's the thing, experience makes different outcomes and that's not what happened; once xyz happens the course of time is changed forever and sometimes you can't go back and people that go on to do awful things don't get an eternal permit of an explanation as to why they did the bad acts, meaning you should go easy on them; this happens often when 1 goes on to be the abuser or utilize their power dynamic. My thing is, it's okay for Carter to be recognized as a victim in his own right [please, please do (don't just take 1 part of this post & misunderstand)], but that doesn't have to be mutually exclusive to his villian status that has been well on it's way since the beginning; it is possible for a character to be recognized as a victim without the promise of a redemption arc.

[hinamie]

morning glory

[sapsolace]

obsessed w these boneheads as of late :]

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Lan Wangji Goes To Lotus Pier AU: Part 3: Enveloping Feelings.

(Part 1, Part 2, Part 4 (soon))

[levemetal]

Ye old Shen twins au where they both become peak lords EXCEPT. Instead of making them twin peak lords or something, we pretend the evidence that the beast peak does likely not exist is lies, and Shen Yuan gets to become peak lord of the beast peak. Why? Because he would LOVE IT there. It's his territory. He gets to be unapologetically nerdy about beasts 24/7 and make it everyone's problem.

As he should.

And bonus! He can snatch LBH at the disciple hole digging. Plot solved! (Assuming the system wouldn't you know. Pull system stuff and force LBH to end up on Qing Jing or some shit.)

And everyone lived happily ever after or some bullshit idk. I reread the 79 extras as well as the TLJ & ZZL ones let me have fluffy AU thoughts goddamnit, my heart has been irreparably damaged-

[mobius-m-mobius]

"It's the most simple relationship — and also the most complicated. On the simple side, they're two beings who love each other. On the complicated side, they're about as opposite as possible."

[slavhew]

And I just have to tell you that I

Love you so much these days,

[lemongogo]

sry i dont know what 2 draw anymore T_T . elendira portrait #999

[is-that-sand-in-my-waffles]

[meamiiikiii]

[reverse entry AU]

so glad the work week is over!

no more meetings!

what do you mean its only tuesday.

[todayisafridaynight]

[kingofanemptyworld]

Rin, identity issues, and the complications of being an isolated, alienated teenager

It feels sort of weird to say but I generally don’t head canon characters as having particular sexualities. Whatever people go for in fics is usually fine with me - gay, lesbian, bi, pan, something more general like queer. As long as it makes sense for the story they’ve built and the character they’ve shaped to fit it, I’m good. Unless you’re ignoring a canon LGBTQ+ sexuality, in which case, yeah, I’ll take issue with that.

But anyway. Rin.

I’ve got my personal ship for him (BonRin my beloved), but regardless of the pairing I see him as bisexual. He’s so open with his infatuation with Shiemi, and okay, sure, fandom likes to ignore the love interest in shounen for the most part because we’ve got gay ships to peddle. But I don’t see the point in that unless it really reads like it’s a front, or a result of a character suppressing themselves for one reason or another. And with Rin, I think it’s pretty clear his affection for Shiemi is sincere. You technically have the in-universe evidence of the demon that brought out his true desires to back that up, but even without it, Rin likes her. It’s complicated because of Yukio and Shiemi’s own inexperience with romance, and yet I never once doubt he really likes her.

That being said… he’s very appreciative of the guys in his life, too. (Peddling my gay ship here) Bon in particular, considering he’s often admiring how cool he thinks Bon is, that his haircut suits him whether it’s the blonde rooster look or the undercut. If you don’t want to see it as romantic interest, that’s your prerogative, but to me Rin comes across as seeing cool and cute as different traits he finds attractive (in Bon and Shiemi respectively).

I also think his bisexuality would fit neatly into his narrative struggles to “pass” throughout the early parts of the series. Rin has grown up as the neighborhood problem child, ostracized for being violent, and eventually he decides he’s fine with just his brother and his father — and the rest of the monastery, presumably — for company. (Except that’s absolutely not true and clearly he’s starved for friendship and support.) People looked at him and saw a monster, even before his demonic heritage made an appearance; why would he bother giving them even more ammunition when it comes to reasons to hate him? So no matter when he figured out his attraction to guys, he’s not going to lean into it, because he also likes girls, right? (Ignoring for a moment that bisexuality is a lot more nuanced than that.)

Rin likes girls, Rin is human — that’s what’s going to get people to like him, or at the very least tolerate him. That he likes guys, that he’s half demon, he can shove that shit down and pretend it doesn’t exist. Lock up any stray thoughts and keep the sword sheathed around anyone who doesn’t already know.

(Excuse me for being amused by Rin wielding his humanity and supposed heterosexuality as a sword and shield.)

The problem, of course, is that he can’t keep up the facade forever. The narrative won’t let him. Rin has to embrace his demonic side, because it’s the only way to move forward and to continue to help his loved ones. And once he’s moved past the issue of his friends being upset over the deception, when they understand he’s still Rin despite what he’d hidden from them, Rin is finally allowed to be himself. He uses his flames, he lets his tail move freely in the open around the Cram School kids. Rin still doesn’t like this side of himself — it’s inextricably tied to every moment of pain and isolation he’s dealt with his entire life, including the death of Father Fujimoto (and, y’know, his mom). But he is moving forward, he’s trying to adapt.

And isn’t that some great fucking subtext for his bisexuality, too?

[hinamie]

summer is coming so i'm giving them the beach day they deserve

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

"See you tomorrow"

MDZS Disco Elysium AU part 4 [prev parts]

[sevikasenby]

sevika making you wear a remote controlled vibrator so she can fuck with you while she plays cards this. sevika making you wear a remote controlled vibrator so she can fuck with you while she plays cards that. okay hear me out, sevika making you wear a wearable remote controlled dildo so she can actually fuck with you while she plays cards. thoughts?

[faehrnem]

Commander

I've finally started working on Faehrnem's character page after 7+ years of playing through the GW2 story with him. There's still a lot more to write, but I hope anyone who clicks through enjoys!