#tamakyo fanfiction

[quillisadoll]

The reason why Tamaki is so obsessed with Haruhi was because he was trying to prove a point

That he like girls

Sure no one doubted him that he is straight but he needed to prove it to himself.

Sure the one girl who caught his eye looked and acted very "boyish" but whatever!! He likes Haruhi and that's that

Even though he doesn't get that fluffy feeling in his brain, the pure adrenaline of just being able to talk to them, the giddiness of seeing them in the hallways, the feeling of fireworks going off in his heart-

Yeah that doesn't matter he really likes Haruhi

It doesn't matter how he looks at his best friend.

Really it doesn't matter

They're just friends

Best friends

Even if Tamaki thought Kyoya was one of the most beautiful people he has ever met

It does not matter! I mean of course he finds him pretty everyone does! I mean he's in a host club for a reason.

Tamaki wishes he was a girl sometimes

He wishes he could be one of those girls who Kyoya talks to

Of course he would never say it out loud and besides it's more of a curiosity then anything

Nothing else

Just curiosity

Tamaki likes Haruhi a lot

He thinks she's the most nicest person he's ever met

So of course he likes her!

After all that's what's right

He likes Haruhi and no one else

[wichols]

Pulled an old wip from the vault for posting if Tama/Kyo is your flavor!

On Your Knees

[saccharinesyrup]

To be Worthy of Tamaki Suoh

Tamaki Suoh knows love well. It's familiar and it's kind and it seeps itself into his every action because that’s just something that Tamaki Suoh fundamentally is—filled to the brim with love. It overflows; bleeds out of him and pours into the floor, as a giant, gorgeous mess with how it runs throughout his veins and floods into the world as endlessly as it does.

Tamaki Suoh, against all of his life’s tragedies and pains, is a being of love.

Kyoya Ootori knows this to be a fact of life. A piece of cold, hard information akin to the sky being blue and needing air to breathe. He’s known it since he first met him, the bright, unapologetic fool he was, although those thoughts manifested more into, “I didn’t know someone could be this stupid.” Kyoya Ootori receives Tamaki’s love that day and every day afterwards; he feels it fresh, pumping through his veins and deep in his heart.

Throughout his life Kyoya’s understanding of his own love grows and shapes and molds and love is no longer simply something he has, but it is something he must be worthy of — like the title of being top in class or the surname printed on his birth certificate. Things must be earned. What he doesn’t understand about love he tries to translate into the business terms that make sense.

Love is currency; and if he wants it, it must be exchanged for equal value.

When he was freshly 17, Kyoya wanted to tell him “I love you” but the words tasted like salt in his mouth and clogged up his throat enough to choke him.

He wished it was salt.

Salt was tangible. Easily appraised. Valued.

If it was salt he was coughing up then there could actually be something of worth coming out of his mouth for once in his life.

What value could love from Kyoya Ootori have against Tamaki’s abundance? He shuts his mouth. One day he will come back with something better; something worthy.

Whether this is something achievable or simply a pipe dream, somewhere deep in his soul, Kyoya begs it be the former.

Tamaki looks at him confused, some strands of his blonde hair fall in front of his eyes as he tilts his head. He’s dense. He’s stupid. He’s the only reason Kyoya’s still hanging on. Kyoya loves him.

Kyoya resists the urge to fix his hair, clenching his fist to his side but offering Tamaki a pacifying smile. “It’s nothing you need to worry about.”

Time passes and Kyoya is well familiar with it now—the way he loves—he knows it from the warmth spreading in his heart and the immediate ease in his soul that it didn’t matter what amount or what value he had to offer. Tamaki Suoh exists to love and be loved and it would take a worse man than Kyoya to deny him.

Tamaki’s hands are much colder than you’d think. And Kyoya’s much warmer. Tamaki holds onto them in the winter months when he tells the maids earlier that he won’t be needing his mittens. Kyoya complains but he doesn’t mean it, inviting him over to his home after school.

“We have the kotatsu table out now.”

But he hopes that’s enough for Tamaki to stay for a few hours.

It is. But Tamaki didn’t need a kotatsu table to do so.

Kyoya Ootori is a being of love. Tamaki Suoh knows this to be a fact of life. A truth akin to a brand on his heart and a whisper from his soul. He’s known it since he first met him, the serious, calculated boy he was, although those thoughts manifested more into, “This is a guy I’d love to know.” Tamaki Suoh sees Kyoya’s heart that day and he wants it. He wants every crack and tear and dormant avalanche of feeling that he’s so sure Kyoya has in him. However he is, he will take him. However he offers, he will take him. Tamaki will take all of Kyoya and he will give all of himself back. It’s a promise his open, bleeding heart shares with Kyoya’s. It’s a promise his soul will keep for as long as Kyoya will have him and beyond.

[eurydicees]

a brief and unofficial history of the stars (tamakyo, 11915 words)

Looking up at the sky reminds Kyoya of all the potential of the universe—reminds him that loving someone who doesn’t love him back does not hold a future. So he leaves. Kyoya runs from Japan, and he does not look back. (Tamaki and Kyoya, as the sun and the moon and everything that shines.)

sometimes you handwrite ouran high school host club fanfiction while at work and then 12,000 words later you're just left to wonder why your hand hurts

[eulaties]

OHSHC FIC RECS ★ #37

fics that have an asterisk (*) in front of them are my personal favorites!

this list was last updated on 1/3/23.

NOTE: these fic recs contain the ships tamaharu and/or tamakyo.

*tunnel vision • multi-chapter (2/2) • tamaki/haruhi

SUMMARY: “the story of haruhi's first year in law school and tamaki's hard lessons in the family business."

TAGS: post-canon, several years later, established relationship, tamaharu are engaged, 100k+ of them navigating adulthood together, slice of life, haruhi is a grad student at yale, tamaki runs his business...mostly at home (he has virtual meetings), family, friendships, romance, light angst, the rest of the ohshc still frequently keep in touch via a groupchat!, fluff, wedding planning, vacations, university life, going to the flea market, cooking meals, directly references events from the manga, this fic is abandoned so it isn’t actually “done”...but since this is also slice of life for the most part it doesn’t really matter, read author’s note for further explanation!

NOTES: this is definitely one of my holy grail fics. even from just the first 2000 words, i already knew the story was going to be one hell of a ride — from the absolute best characterizations ive seen of haruhi & tamaki, to the slice of life vignettes of tamaharu navigating adult life together, to the mini arcs we got with each passing season (i especially loved the thanksgiving break one, but the christmas one was also so sweet), everything about this fic was just, simply put, breathtaking. this quality of writing is particularly distinct to me it actually reminds me of early 2010 fanfiction that were always long as hell but novel-worthy. which is funny because this WAS originally written in ~2014, but then it was abandoned, BUT THEN the author decided to post it all in one go in 2021 (on an orphan account). so thank you mysterious author, whoever you are <3 hope youre doing well...you did so much good for the ohshc fandom

CW: several smut scenes, but they never take up majority of the fic, so you can always skip if you’re uncomfortable

*the one of my dreams • multi-chapter (1/?) • tamaki/haruhi

SUMMARY: “in a world where you share a dream space with your soulmate, a young haruhi meets tamaki, who lives halfway across the world. but as they grow older, haruhi begins to forget her dreams every morning. so when she starts at ouran academy and meets the infamous tamaki, she has no idea who she's speaking to. tamaki, on the other hand, has always remembered.”

TAGS: soulmates au, highschool, fluff and angst, pining

*champagne problems • one-shot • tamaki/kyoya

SUMMARY: “the one where kyoya is helplessly in love and he hates it, but he doesn’t know how to stop now that he’s started.”

TAGS: studying together, seemingly unrequited love, angst, confessions, internalized homophobia, hurt/comfort, hopeful ending?

*love in c-minor • one-shot • tamaki/kyoya

SUMMARY: “kyoya looks at tamaki and hears music: an orchestration written for best friends, or a symphony written for lovers. he looks at tamaki, and he sees art. it's the type of love that he cannot unwrite.”

TAGS: friends to lovers, pining throughout the years, during canon, references to shakespeare, prose, angst with a happy ending, confessions, getting together

gone tomorrow, here today • one-shot • tamaki/kyoya

SUMMARY: “i’d even be proud to be something more than a friend.” tamaki grinned nervously, then pulled their clasped hands to his own chest. right above his beating heart. “that is, if you’d let me.”

TAGS: mutual pining, seemingly unrequited love, misunderstandings, hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending, getting together, kyoya’s overthinking strikes again

in late march • one-shot • tamaki/kyoya

SUMMARY: “i’m fine,” he bites out, borderline snarling in defensive irritation. “just tired. i haven’t been sleeping well.” because of you, he wants to add. because I can’t stop thinking about you.

TAGS: an alternate timeline, introspection, pining, underage drinking

lovers in the late night • one-shot • tamaki/kyoya & tamaki/haruhi

SUMMARY: “a late night rendezvous with none other than kyoya ootori.”

TAGS: aged-up characters, healthy polyamory, no jealousy, implied sexual content, bisexual tamaki, suggestive

wonderful • one-shot • tamaki/haruhi

SUMMARY: “this is far from tamaki's idea of a romantic first time.”

TAGS: tamaki-typical shenanigans, humor, drabble, implied sexual content

haruhi’s sick day • one-shot • tamaki/haruhi

SUMMARY: “haruhi gets a cold from falling into the river, and tamaki shows up to take care of her.

TAGS: takes place after the anime finale, fluff, humor

[skankie]

@ the people who can write smut w no issue:

[ratcarney]

warmth

tamaki and kyoya walk home on the last day of school before new year’s break. amid the snow, kyoya realizes something important.

“kyoyaaa…” tamaki singsonged. “we must be the last ones in the school at this rate.”

“i’m not stopping you from leaving, tamaki.” kyoya replied, not looking up from his laptop screen.

he needed to finish typing out a few key things for the host club budget before school let out for the new year, and he was in no rush to get back home. he knew that ten days of living with his father constantly telling him that he’d never measure up to his brothers’ accomplishments would get grating by at least day three. to add insult to injury, fuyumi was spending the holiday with her friends, so there wasn’t any hope of her swooping in to save him from their father’s steely glare.

she was twenty-four. it made sense for her to spend the new year with her friends. but that didn’t mean that kyoya wasn’t feeling a little betrayed.

“it’s getting darker.” tamaki stood and looked out the windows in the music room. evidently, he had decided to wait for kyoya so they could leave the school together.

“that’s usually how it works.” kyoya replied dryly.

tamaki sat on the window seat, staring at the sky. “it’s snowing.” he announced.

“mm-hmm.” kyoya didn’t mind tamaki’s idle chatter as much as he did when they first met. it was comforting. light background talk to offset the constant noise in kyoya’s head.

“i love snow.” tamaki tapped on the glass. “i used to watch snow fall on the streets with my mom back in france.” he hummed contentedly. “there was a window in her room and it had these huge velvet curtains…”

kyoya stopped typing. tamaki rarely talked about his mother, and kyoya wanted to be respectful of whatever he was going to say next. without the sound of the keyboard, the room fell silent. the wind outside whistled through the snowfall.

tamaki turned around to face kyoya from across the room. “oh, are you done?” his eyes were hopeful.

kyoya blinked. “i thought you were going to continue.”

“why?” tamaki laughed as if kyoya had said something ridiculous. “come on, finish up with the work stuff so we can walk home.”

“walk home?” kyoya raised his eyebrows. “we can call a car, tamaki. there’s no reason to walk home in the cold when we don’t need to.” as a personal rule, kyoya didn’t stay out in the cold for any second longer than he absolutely had to. all the teasing from the club about his cold-bloodedness had an element of truth to it beyond his identity as the so-called shadow king. kyoya and cold weather had never gotten along.

tamaki frowned, and kyoya mentally prepared for those puppy-dog eyes he knew so well. “but we did last year.”

“we only did that because your chauffeur was stuck in traffic.” and i wasn’t going to let you walk home alone, not with your limited knowledge of tokyo.

“i thought we’d make it into a tradition! walking home together on the last day before new year’s break.” tamaki grinned. kyoya knew his mind was made up, but there was no reason not to make arguing a tradition, as well.

“doing something once doesn’t make it a tradition.”

tamaki stood up from where he sat on the window seat, looping his scarf around his neck to signal to kyoya that he wasn’t going to take no for an answer. “doing it twice does!”

“clearly you have your heart set on this.” kyoya sighed. the suoh estate wasn’t far from ouran academy, but it wasn’t exactly close to it, either. and he certainly hadn’t dressed for a brisk walk in the snow.

he glanced at tamaki, who was rocking back and forth on heels, evidently restless. his eyes sparkled with anticipation the way they did whenever he really wanted something.

“please, kyoya?”

reluctantly, kyoya closed his laptop. “fine. fine, you win.”

tamaki grinned. “this is going to be the best tradition ever. trust me.” he buttoned up his coat and all but leapt towards the door.

“consider yourself lucky, tamaki.” kyoya muttered. he slipped his laptop into his bag and started to shrug on his coat. “you know how i feel about the cold.” he did. tamaki was the only one in the host club that kyoya felt comfortable complaining to. in all fairness, he may have been the only one in the world that kyoya felt comfortable complaining to.

tamaki’s smile didn’t waver. “we’ll be home before you know it.”

“for your sake, that better be true.”

kyoya followed tamaki out of the music room, trying his best to keep up as tamaki practically flew through the halls and bounded down the stairs towards the main building’s front doors. tamaki gasped upon bursting through the doors, and kyoya didn’t blame him.

ouran’s campus had been transformed into a snowy white wonderland. the topiary and bare trees glittered in the dim midwinter evening.

the air was sharper than they expected it to be, but that only made tamaki’s smile even bigger.

“it’s beautiful.” he whispered, standing in front of ouran’s entrance.

kyoya stood next to him, but he wasn’t looking at the snow.

his gaze got caught on the way the glittering flurries of snow arranged themselves neatly on tamaki’s head, as if nature herself was crowning him king.

tamaki turned to look at kyoya. “what are you looking so serious about?” he tossed his scarf over his shoulder with a smile. “we have walking to do, kyoya.” he strode forward, turning his head every so often to marvel at the snowfall.

kyoya followed slowly, still keeping his eyes on tamaki.

“you know, we’ll never get out of the snow unless you actually walk.”

after about ten minutes, kyoya was quickly regretting his decision to walk home with tamaki. tradition be damned, he could barely feel his fingertips, and the snow wasn’t letting up. his coat was too thin for this. tamaki, blissfully oblivious as always, was still chattering away about nothing at all. kyoya was beginning to think he was impervious to the elements.

finally, tamaki glanced to his side. “how are we feeling?” he smiled. “you look cold.”

kyoya scoffed and clouds of steam billowed from his lips. “what gave me away.”

tamaki laughed. “here.” he stopped, lifted the scarf off of his neck, and threw it around kyoya before looking up at him with wide, expectant eyes.

“hm?” kyoya asked, tossing the scarf around his neck the way he had seen tamaki do a million times, albeit without most of the showmanship.

“you’re not even going to pretend to refuse it?” tamaki pouted, but the amusement in his eyes betrayed his wounded expression. “not even a little?”

kyoya rolled his eyes. “no. tamaki. i simply couldn’t. keep the scarf. i’ll suffer in silence. really.” he said, his words dripping with sarcasm.

tamaki grinned, fastening the top button of his coat. “no one can ever say that kyoya ootori doesn’t have manners.”

“shut up.” kyoya cuffed him on the shoulder. “if i could feel my legs, i’d walk away from you right now.

“no, you wouldn’t.” tamaki teased. “you know why?”

“i suppose you’re going to tell me.”

“because you love me.” tamaki said matter-of-factly.

kyoya rolled his eyes and adjusted the scarf. it was warm. he allowed himself a secret smile once he knew tamaki’s eyes were elsewhere.

after a few moments of walking in comfortable silence, tamaki spoke up again. “kyoya, have you ever considered how much worse our lives would be without each other?” he asked. kyoya nearly choked.

“what?”

“well, have you?”

kyoya looked at tamaki like he had gone crazy. “what kind of a question is that?”

“it’s been on my mind for a while, if i’m being honest.” tamaki smiled, looking up at the sky. “if we hadn’t met each other, i wouldn’t be walking home with you right now.”

kyoya, who had taken to walking with his arms crossed in front of him to conserve heat, tsked. “and what a tragedy that would be.”

“i’m serious.” tamaki insisted, and something in his voice made kyoya believe him.

“you would have never made the host club.” kyoya mused.

“hey!” tamaki elbowed him. “we would have never made the host club.”

“right, of course.” kyoya played it cool—that was his assigned Type, after all—but secretly, he genuinely enjoyed the host club. the chance to exercise his business skills was a perk, but it was the look in tamaki’s eye whenever something went truly right that made kyoya savor all of his time at the club. the telltale sparkle when he knew he had a princess completely under his spell.

“and you would still be mean.” tamaki added.

kyoya blinked. “...mean?”

“rude.”

“rude?”

“standoffish. impasse. réservé. distant—“

“suffisamment, tamaki. je comprends.”

“but you know what i mean.” tamaki laughed. “...cold.”

kyoya shuddered and tightened tamaki’s scarf around his neck. “i’ll give you that one.”

“i would have never gotten to go to kyoto, or any of the other amazing places you took me to.” tamaki sighed happily, his breath coming out in white clouds of steam. there was a beat as he contemplated something. finally, he turned to look at kyoya. “i don’t think i’d be able to stand it.”

kyoya raised an eyebrow. “stand what?”

“living here.” tamaki kicked a pebble across the street as he walked. “in japan. at ouran. i don’t think i’d have been able to stand it if it weren’t for you.”

kyoya was used to casual affection from tamaki. little touches on the shoulder, playful shouts of “je t’aime!” when kyoya did something for him, lending kyoya his scarf. he always put it down as a cultural difference, nothing more. but this didn’t sound casual. tamaki gave out sweet nothings every day, little whispers of his undying love for whatever princess he happened to be seeing at that moment. but this certainly didn’t sound like nothing. sweet, yes. but nothing? no. there was a catch in his voice that didn’t happen when he spoke to the girls in the host club.

tamaki stopped and tugged at the sleeve of kyoya’s coat to pull him back.

“thank you.” he said, once kyoya was facing him. “i mean it.”

kyoya stared back at tamaki. his cheeks and the tip of his nose were pink from the cold wind blowing into his face, but he wore a smile that made kyoya feel like he was looking into the summer sun. for once, kyoya was completely at a loss for words.

but he knew what he wanted to say.

there’s no one else i would have gone to kyoto with.

there’s no one else i would have made a host club with.

there’s no one else i would walk home in the snow for.

my life would be so much worse without you, tamaki.

“i know you mean it.” kyoya managed to choke out. a million things were running through his head at once, but they all boiled down to one thing—the one thing he could never say aloud.

i love you.

“good.” tamaki nodded, his smile not faltering.

kyoya stayed frozen, in more ways than one. what could he possibly say to convey to tamaki that there was no one else in the entire world he would rather walk home in the snow with? his voice wouldn’t work to form any semblance of speech. without tamaki’s chatter, the grinding noise in his head threatened to overwhelm him completely. tamaki was probably uncomfortable with the silence. he was probably wondering what was wrong. he was probably—

suddenly, hands on kyoya’s cheeks made the chaos in his head freeze in its tracks.

tamaki kissed him, chaste but deliberate.

he tasted like warm honey, just when kyoya was beginning to think he’d never be warm again.

slowly, after a few blissful seconds, tamaki pulled away, his eyes shining and staring directly into kyoya’s soul. “you weren’t overreacting.” he said gently, a little laugh chasing his words. “you really are cold.” his warm hands lingered on kyoya’s cheeks.

once again, kyoya couldn’t find the words to say. he stared at tamaki, taking in the sight of him. with the crown of snow flurries in his hair, he truly looked like an otherworldly prince. “tamaki, i…”

tamaki rearranged his scarf, placing it snug underneath the collar of kyoya’s coat. “it took me a little while to realize.” he said, smiling. “but i got there in the end, didn’t i? you don’t look at anyone the way you look at me.”

there he went again, reading him in a way that no one else could. tamaki could always see right through him, and though it annoyed kyoya to no end, this time he was grateful that tamaki could understand the words he couldn’t bring himself to say.

kyoya exhaled. “i wouldn’t walk home in the snow for anyone else.” he whispered finally. “and i mean it.” the words felt like cardboard in his mouth. he had never said anything like that out loud before—not unless he knew he was guaranteed to benefit from it. he wasn’t disposed to public displays of emotion, but there had always been something about tamaki that made him feel different. made him act different.

tamaki smiled. “don’t get soft on me now, kyoya.” he said. “i know you mean it.”

kyoya managed to stop staring at tamaki for a second to look up and realize where they were. the suoh estate stood tall and inviting, only a few meters from where they were standing.

“we’re here.” kyoya said quietly.

tamaki blinked and turned to look at the mansion looming ahead of them. “yeah.” he smiled. “we are.” the silence between their words didn’t seem as uncomfortable as it used to be. it felt...warm.

“do you want me to walk with you to your place? the snow doesn’t seem like it’s doing you any favors.” tamaki laughed. “we can walk together.”

kyoya shook his head. “thank you, tamaki, but it’s late, i don’t want to keep you.” he took tamaki’s scarf off and wrapped it around his neck, just as affectionately as tamaki had done for him. “and i’m...warmer now.”

tamaki touched the scarf, then touched kyoya’s shoulder. kyoya couldn’t describe it, but to him, the gesture was meaningful beyond words. tamaki’s touch brought sunlight. it brought warmth. it brought love.

and kyoya was telling the truth.

for the first time in a long time, he was warm.

[notebookpapers]

hello fellow ourah high school host club enjoyers

new fic abt the classic kyoya pining over tamaki aka the classic gay "pining for your best freind" experience click here to read it now

[ohshcheadcanonschaotic]

What ur fave Host in OHSHC says abt u

Tamaki- basic, bad at math, in the closet and u were touch starved as a child

Kyoya- daddy issues, mommy issues, u have commitment issues and ur rlly hot also u are maybe and earth sign or air

Kauro- ur a pushover, u had a cottage core phase, u either have depression or anxiety and u can’t do long division

Hikaru- chaotic, u are the loud friend, u will call someone out with our hesitation and u have a rlly short attention span

Mori- u have been planning ur wedding for way to long, mom friend, u probably wear dresses and i’m getting teachers pet vibes

Hani- ummm crickets lol jk, u are quiet and are super clumsy, u stay up till 4 and ur caffeine tolerance is absolute garbage

thoughts? also my grammar probably sucks. this was definitely not a self drag at all. pls request i’ll send u a virtual kiss mwah!

[quillisadoll]

I am begging anyone please hear my calls I need either some good tamakyo fanfiction recommendations or gravity falls ford (and dipper but I'm not that picky)centric fanfictions PLEASE I AM IN NEED!!

🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

[poodlepunk]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Ootori Kyouya/Suoh Tamaki Characters: Ootori Kyouya, Suoh Tamaki Additional Tags: Friends to Lovers, Pining, First Kiss, Ootori family dynamics, Kyoya has a nice mom, gratuitous The Great Gatsby references Summary:

As winter break approaches in his final year at Ouran, Kyoya finds himself having some unexpected feelings for his best friend.

[imagine-it-ouran]

Hey, not to put this idea in your head or anything

But If Kaoru was switched out for Tamaki if my current fic, ARMD, the story would be completely different. 

[falling-pages]

I’m rewatching certain character-specific episodes in order to boost my inspiration and also make sure I’m writing the characters correctly and that was a mistake because now I’m crying over Kyoya bitterly hating Tamaki to 4 months later sitting under a kotatsu with Kyoya pushing him over good-naturedly as they joke and Tamaki’s innocent laugh with his best friend I cannot handle it

[selfishshipper]

the fic tags when i actually check them: friends to lovers, established relationship, modern au, hurt/comfort, wrote this at 1 am lol

the tags when i dont check them, without fail: waTeRsports, graphic MURDER, head IN asshole, vorE, DADDY kiNK, my MOM kicked me out when i was ELEVEN, scaT pLAY,

[eurydicees]

hey so I watched ouran back in 2020 during the panoramic and i liked haruhi and tamaki together, but seeing your posts,,,, oh dear,,,, I've changed I fear, I've morphed into a being that longs for a homoerotic childhood friendship where being known is the heart,,,, How do you deal with the heartbreak of knowing how the manga ends and knowing kyoya never gets his happy ending?

this is so good i am SO glad i've helped you see the light. tamakyo truthers of the world unite.

to answer your question, i cope with writing soooooo much fanfiction in which things are just a little different, just slightly different enough that it could work out between them. but also it's kinda fun to stay true to canon sometimes because i love experiencing and inflicting pain.

(cont under the cut bc the Serious Answer got long)

i think that while the ending of the manga is incredibly bittersweet and nostalgic and makes me cry every time, i don't think kyoya necessarily has an unhappy ending, specifically when looking at the little info we have about his character post-canon.

while tamakyo doesn't ever get together and kyoya doesn't get that version of the happy ending, he still ends up happy and satisfied with his life--or at least, i like to think so. he doesn't get married or fall in love canonically, but that doesn't mean he isn't happy!

i like to think that he learns to be satisfied with the friendship he does have with tamaki and haruhi rather than yearning for something more (with either one or both of them). i think very very often about the j michael tatum quote about him:

like, first of all, why would you say this to me. second of all, i think he kinda nails it on the head. he believes that he can't make either one of them as happy as they can make each other, so he lets them both go. he finds his own happiness in the fact that they're happy with each other.

it's also relevant to look at this quote from the extra chapters in ~2011:

i think the idea of tamakyo is a lot more complicated than any of us would really like to admit. i do believe that kyoya loves tamaki (and vice versa), but i think we should also acknowledge that there's a lot of external factors besides haruhi that are keeping them apart.

kyoya would choose a partner based on how they can contribute to the ootori family, and it's very debatable what tamaki can provide to them. yeah, it's a good connection to the suohs; it's also a scandal for both families--or not! maybe it's fine! we don't really know, alas, and we never really will.

so i think that even though kyoya doesn't end up with a partner--specifically doesn't end up with tamaki--he can still be happy like this. i think, though it's unclear in the anime, it's less so in the manga and he does have a chance at being the successor to the ootori legacy etc and i think that he can find happiness in that work. he also does still have all of his friends!

one of the things that's so so so important in ouran that we all often lose track of is that this is a story ultimately about friendship and family. it's a love story, yeah, but it's also a story about platonic and familial love, and that's just as important as romantic. i think kyoya can find happiness in those things, even if he doesn't get the white picket fence and 2.5 kids.

so it's sad, yeah. it's a little heartbreaking. but it's also okay! don't worry too much, i think he's doing alright.

[sparemyocs]

Give Cha(nge)se

Tamaki wakes up half out of bed, his knees aching where they pressed against the maroon colored carpet.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19892527

Tamaki wakes up half out of bed, his knees aching where they pressed against the maroon colored carpet. Wrapped around him and half off the bed was a matching maroon comforter. An alarm is going off, which is what drags him up to his feet. He tries to turn it off and set it again for the next day. He completely loses track of time doing this, because he can't seem to get it set again. Maybe it's broken... There's a buzz from his phone. A text from Kaoru. A blue message with white text.

"You can't fix it. Sorry."

"Why not?"

"Your mom couldn't fix it either. Worry about more important things for now Boss."

"You think?"

"I promise. Get out of that apartment."

Tamaki finds himself scrambling to do just that. He almost stops to get ready, but his hair is tied up in a bun. There's a glass bottle shattered in a silver sink. He tries the silver tabs but they don't work.

He doesn't have time for this. He flees, barefoot down the stairs from the maroon apartment. There's a fence around the building. He has to jump the fence to keep going. Tamaki reaches the one-way dirt road. And after  moment's hesitation, he starts running the wrong way. It's the only way he can reach Kyoya. The dirt path follows a cracked old canal.

"I can't believe you followed that thing to where you are Boss. I always kind of thought you were better than that."

"I am! I am damn it!"

Opposite the canal was a green field that seemed to go on forever. There was a storm behind him though. A wind storm, coming after him as he ran. It turned the beautiful green field grey as it cast over it. It just made Tamaki want to run faster.

He reached a fork where the path split. Left and right. Left. Kyoya was at the end of the left path. The wind storm went right.

Deeper into the countryside. Then he reached the airport. Raced through it's entirely empty halls. And reached the terminal. As Kyoya's orange and maroon plane took off.

Tamaki couldn't look, so he sunk to the floor instead. Sat and cried alone.

Until Kaoru arrived, dressed head to toe in white and blue. "I guess you didn't make it this time, huh?"

"...This time?"

"Don't play dumb m'lord. We both know you aren't actually awake."

He looked up from the maroon apartment carpet to Kaoru's gentle smile.

The man dressed in white and blue leaned forward and undid his hair from it's bun. Shook it loose. "Sorry. This looks bad on you. There's still time to change. Just... not a lot."

He could hear other people here now. His neighbors in the thousands and thousands. The maroon apartment building wasn't a happy place. But it was safe here.

"Here." Kaoru held out a heart shaped silver locket. "You already know you want it."

It's raining outside, but however dreary, it's safe in here.

"Come on. You've always loved standing in the rain," somehow, Kaoru calls him Tamaki-senpai and René at the same time.

Slowly, he reaches out for the locket. Wraps his hand around the silver and pulls it close to his chest.

"It'll only open up if you take it out in the rain. This place... It was a lot of spells on it to hide things."

"Okay."

Back down the stairs again. This time he passes through a gate in the fence. Holding out the silver locket to the rain.

It opens with the first droplets and he looks.

Kyoya.

   Tamaki wakes up in his bed. Sits up and rubs his eyes. It was a quiet morning at the Main Suoh Estate, but he was still awake well after he'd normally be.

Someone else in particular would finally be awake now too. He could still remember the dream, for however fast the details were fading. Tamaki decided to act on the lingering feeling. Even if he had no way of knowing how it would end, doing so.

Tamaki grabbed his phone to make the call. "Hey Kyoya? I need to tell you something."

https://open.spotify.com/track/5JlShbeJVoV6f6L0DWjYt3 https://open.spotify.com/track/4lenp1DH8yLAkCDzwgMphs

@tamakyoweek