#tbh I don't even know if I want him to return anymore knowing how bad the writing's been

[icedteaandoldlace]

In most cases I prefer written articles to videos, but not when it comes to interviews, 'cause sometimes with written interviews it's literally impossible to interpret someone's tone.

Like, when Carlos was asked if Cisco would be showing up in season 9, was his answer, "I just don't know"

or "I just don't know"

?

[zegrasdrysdale]

matthew knies smut — losing ur v card to him

[ helping hand ] m. knies

paring : Matthew Knies x fem!reader

summary : Matthew helps his best friend out after she asks him to take her virginity

warning(s) : smut ! loss of virginity, virgin!reader, light dirty talk, slight hair pulling (blink and you'll miss it tbh) oral (f receiving), fingering, p in v, protected sex, use of pet names during sex (pretty girl, baby, etc.), multiple orgasms

author’s note : felt like writing something cute so i decided to tackle this request and make it as cute as i could. this is my first time writing for kniesy so if it’s bad then pls tell me lol

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Being a 20-year-old virgin sucks. Every time she tries to hook up with a guy, she blurts out that she’s “never done this before” and it scares him away. Needless to say, she is getting very tired of being a virgin. She's loves sex, but she's never gone all the way with a guy.

Tonight was just another reminder that she's never been fucked. She thought that after her date, he'd take her back to his apartment and she'd finally lose her virginity. Then he said that his mom was going to be home soon just as things started getting heated, right after she had said that she's never gone all the way.

It's a tiring pattern.

She's frustrated, and frustration means stomping up to her longtime best friend's Toronto apartment a little before eleven. She pounds her fist on Matthew's door then waits. There are light footsteps behind the door before it's pulled open.

Matthew looks like he just woke up, and she feels bad. His Toronto hockey shirt is a little wrinkled and he's wearing sweats. His hair is a complete disaster. "Did I wake you?" she questions.

He yawns, but shakes his head no. "I was just closing my eyes," he tells her. "I thought you were out on a date or something. Why are you here?"

"You'll never guess what happened," she sighs as she walks past him into his apartment. "I did it again."

Matthew laughs and shuts the door behind her. "You need to stop," he comments. "You're never going to lose it if you keep telling guys that you haven't gone all the way. You're twenty."

"I know!" she groans as she plops down onto his couch. "It's like a get scared or something and it just comes out. I wish I could just get it over with and then it won't come out."

He sits beside her and she looks up at him. "Don't rush it," he tells her. "It's not all that anyway. Just wait until you find someone you trust and genuinely like."

A light bulb flicks on in her head. She sits up and turns her body to face Matthew. "Will you?"

"Will I what?"

"Sleep with me so I'm not a virgin anymore," she finishes. He raises his eyebrows and looks like he's about to object. "I mean, I trust you with everything I have. You're my best friend. You're not bad looking. I've known you for years, Matthew. I'd be okay if you did this for me. It wouldn't change anything with us."

Matthew thinks about it. She knows by the way he sighs and runs his fingers through his messy hair. "You're sure about this?" he questions. "Because I don't want to do this then-"

She rolls his eyes in frustration and cups his jaw. She pulls him into a kiss, and it surprises her when she feels her heart beat out of her chest when her lips meet his. Even Matthew is thrown off by the kiss. He immediately pulls back. She drops her hands to her lap.

"I'm not going to regret it, Matt," she tells him as her eyes meet his. Have his eyes always been this pretty and blue? She's never been this close to see how blue they are. "I promise. It might bring us closer as friends if we do this. I'm not going to stop being your friend because you slept with me."

He still doesn't seem very convinced. "This is going to change us," he tells her. "No matter what. I just want both of us to be ready for that."

With a nod, her eyes flicker down to his lips for a second before returning to his eyes. "I know," she replies. "Just ... please. I'll never ask you for anything ever again if you do this for me."

Matthew searches her face for any signs that she doesn't want this. He won't find any. If she's going to lose her virginity to anyone, she wouldn't mind losing it to her best friend. She wants this.

He doesn't say "okay" or anything like that. All he does is grab her chin between his thumb and pointer finger. "If this is what you really want then I'll do it," he says to her, voice slightly higher than a whisper.

"I really want this," she confirms. "Seriously."

His eyes drop to her lips before he leans in and gently presses his lips to hers, and her eyes flutter shut. Her heart beats out of her chest with how soft and gently he kisses her.

The kisses don't immediately turn heated and needy. Matthew makes sure of that. When they do though, she climbs onto his lap in the red minidress that she's wearing. She straddles his thighs and wraps her arms loosely around his neck. Matthew's hands drop to the bare skin on her thighs.

Her heels clatter to the carpeted floor beneath them with a thud. Her fingers find a home and curl in his locks. She tugs gently and a soft noise comes from Matthew. She smiles into the kiss that follows and tucks this piece of information away for later.

She traps his bottom lip between her teeth and pulls back. She watches it snap back into place. Matthew looks up at her and she sees that his eyes have darkened a bit. There's a dark fire between them and she can tell he's trying to hold himself back.

"Pretend it's not me," she tells him as her hands drag down his neck and chest until they come to a rest on his torso. She play with the hem of his t-shirt. "I can tell, Matt. You're holding back because it's me."

Matthew shakes his head. "I'm holding back because I want to do this right," he replies. "It's not because it's you. I want to make sure that it's perfect for you."

"Then don't hold back," she whispers to him as she attaches her lips to his jaw right under his ear. "It'll be perfect no matter what."

A shaky sigh passes Matthew's kiss-bruised lips. He kisses the swell of her ear and she keeps working at his jaw.

Before she realizes what's happening, Matthew slides his hands to the back of her thighs and stands up. She wraps her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck. "It's insane how easily you were able to just pick me up like that," she comments.

"I work out everyday," Matthew replies as he makes his way down the hallway to his bedroom. "Sometimes twice a day. I lay hits on grown men that weigh as much as I do or heavier for a living. I hope that I can lift someone up that is nearly a foot shorter than me and weighs less than what I bench."

She can't contain the giggle that rises in her throat as he crosses the threshold into his room. "That's kind of hot of you, Matt," she admits. "I mean, I don't know how you're single when you bench more than I weigh."

He kicks the door shut behind him and gently sets her down so she's flat on her feet. She sees the flush in his cheeks despite the dimly lit room. She smiles and gets on her tiptoes to instigate another kiss. Matthew has to lean down to kiss her because of the heigh difference between them. His hands rest on her cheeks and she rests against the door.

They stand there for what feels like an eternity. She's almost certain that the lace panties she has on under the dress are ruined. She hasn't be able to stop thinking about Matthew's fingers on her thighs while they were in the couch, not to mention the fact that he was able to pick her up with almost no effort.

Her fingers curl around the hem of his t-shirt and she pulls at it. "Off," she mumbles against his lips. "Matt, please. Off."

The kiss breaks and Matthew reaches down to pull the fabric over his head. Her eyes rake his body and it's very obvious that he works out every day. Her fingers trace his abs and she bites her bottom lip.

Okay, maybe he's more attractive than she's let herself admit. She's never really allowed herself to look at him like this. She's never let herself admire him like this.

Matthew hooks his fingers under the very thin straps that sit on her shoulders. She looks up at him and notices how focused he is on his actions. He pulls the straps off her shoulders and lets the dress fall so it pools at her ankles. She's in her strapless bra and matching panties. She notices Matthew's eyes drink her in.

She puts her hands on his chest and gently pushes him in the direction of his bed. She kicks the dress off so she can follow him. As soon as Matthew sits back on the bed, she crawls onto his lap. Her knees bracket his thighs. She leans in and ravishes his mouth with hers. One of his hands finds its way to her curls and he holds the back of her head so she can’t break the heated kiss.

Without realizing she does it, she rolls her hips against his. He hums and his other hand comes down on her bare waist.

A surge of confidence overcomes her and she reaches behind her. She unhooks her bra and lets the red lace fall between them. She tosses it somewhere at the same time Matthew breaks the kiss.

Her entire body shakes with nerves.

It’s just Matthew. They’ve been friends since his first year at Minnesota. Best friends since his sophomore year. She visited him earlier in the season and fell in love with Canada so she moved into an apartment down the street from him.

She can do this.

Matthew lifts her head up and says, “I’ve got you. Okay? I have you. Whatever you want.”

“I want you,” she tells him. “Please. I need you.”

He moves back on the bed and flips them over so he hovers over her. Her curls create a halo around her head. Matthew thumbs her swollen lips and trails it down over her chin, over her chest, between her breasts, and down her stomach until his fingers rest at the waistband of her panties. Goosebumps follow his fingers down her upper body.

She can feel the bulge in his pants so she bucks her hips up to grind her clothed core against the bulge. “Shit,” he gasps. “You can’t just do that.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’ll come before either of us are ready.”

She lets out a light laugh. “We wouldn’t want that, now would we?” she teases.

“Shut up,” he mumbles before shutting her up himself with a deep kiss. She smiles and hooks her fingers into the waistband of his sweatpants.

She pushes his sweatpants down and over his ass. He helps her out and kicks them off.

When she tries to put her hand in his boxers, Matthew stops her. He breaks the kiss and shakes his head. “If we’re doing this, we’re doing it right. I’m going to make sure you feel good and make sure you’re comfortable, okay?” he says to her.

“Okay,” she replies, voice barely above a whisper.

With her permission, Matthew hooks his fingers in the waistband of her panties and slowly pulls the thin fabric off her body. He tosses them to the floor and she lets her knees fall open.

Matthew attaches his lips to her jaw, then slowly trails his lips down her body. He makes a quick stop when he gets to her breasts. He gives each one a little attention and she lets out a soft noise. She bites her lip to keep from making any embarrassing noises.

He lies on his stomach and throws her legs over his broad shoulders. She watches as he presses soft kisses to her leg trailing from her inner knee and up her inner thigh. He stops right before he gets to her core.

“Already so wet for me,” he comments. She nods and grabs a pillow to rest her head on so she doesn’t get a crick in her neck.

That’s when Matthew slides a finger through her soaked folds. A whine passes her lips and she looks down at him with her eyes. He teases her entrance and she gasps, “I- Matthew. Don’t tease please. Do something.”

“Didn’t think you were a begger, pretty girl,” he replies. She shoots him a glare and he laughs.

She’s about to say something to him when he wraps his lips around her clit. “Oh my- fuck” is what comes out of her mouth instead. Matthew hums and sends vibrations through her entire body. He slowly pushes a finger into her and her back arches off the bed.

Matthew’s free hand slides up her body and cups one of her tits. She didn’t pick Matthew to be a boob guy, but today is full of surprises.

Soft pants pass her lips as Matthew keeps using his mouth and fingers to bring her closer to an orgasm. He adds a second finger and her hands fly to his hair. Her breathing has gotten extremely labored and soft noises consistently pass her lips.

He’s so careful with his movements, so precise. He knows what he’s doing, and she’s not at all surprised that he does. She didn’t realize just how much he knew. Despite never actually hooking up before, it’s like he knows her entire body and what she likes.

Once a third finger is inside of her, Matthew curls his fingers in a “come here” motion. She gasps and a knot forms in the pit of her stomach. “Matt,” she groans. “I- Matthew.”

“Let me hear you,” he tells her. “Wanna hear you when you come on my fingers. Can you do do that for me?”

She nods and hums. “Yeah,” she breathes out.

“Go ahead, pretty girl,” Matthew says. “Come for me. I can feel how close you are.”

His lips are back on her clit and she’s coming seconds later.

Her back arches off the mattress as her walls clench around his fingers. Her body turns into jelly as he fingers her through what’s probably the strongest orgasm she’s ever had. She swears she blacks out.

Her breathing is extremely labored as Matthew withdraws his fingers. She whimpers at the loss and watches him crawl up her body when her vision comes back. He smiles when he sees how out of it she probably looks.

Matthew peppers her cheek with soft kisses as she comes to.

“You okay?” he asks. “Can you do one more?”

“Mhm,” she hums. “Want you inside me, Matt. Please. I need you.”

He captures her lips in a soft kiss and she groans when she tastes herself on his lips.

It’s a very quick kiss. Matthew reaches over into his bedside drawer and pulls out a tiny foil package. He puts it between his teeth as he pushes his boxers off his body. She bites her lip as Matthew’s dick pops out of the confines of the boxers.

She accidentally saw his dick one time before now, and it looked nothing like it does right now. “Jesus, Matt,” she gasps. “Is it gonna fit?”

Matthew laughs and slides the condom onto his dick. “I promise it’ll fit,” he tells her.

He hover over her between her legs. The tip of his dick lines up with her entrance and she shakes. Her heart races in her chest and she stares up at the pretty boy above her. “Slow,” she tells him. “Okay? I don’t know-”

“Tell me if you need me to stop or if it hurts,” he interrupts. “I’ll move at your pace, okay? I have you.”

She nods. “Go.”

Matthew slowly pushes into her. She gasps as the unfamiliar stretch and grasps onto his biceps. The deeper he goes, the more it hurts. She pushes through though and pain eventually turns into pleasure.

He moves so slow though that it’s almost painful. She wants him to ruin her but she wants to be able to walk in the morning. Whatever that will look like.

She reaches up and slides her hair into Matthew’s hair. His eyes lock with her as he bottoms out in her. Her lips are pressed in a line. “Okay?” he asks.

With a nod, she says, “I’m okay. Give me a second. You’re fucking big, Matt. Damn.”

He laughs. “That’s not my fault,” he replies. “Most women I hook up with like it.”

“I didn’t say I didn’t like it, asshole,” she retorts. “I said I needed a second.”

Matthew laughs again and she pulls him down into a kiss to shut him up. He licks into her mouth and she groans.

Feeling ready, she rolls her hips. One of Matthew’s hands rests on her waist and he meets her movements.

It’s slow, but it feels good. He slowly but deeply thrusts into her. She moans into Matthew’s mouth and he swallows every noise. Her hands slide from his hair to his back. She gently digs her nails into his skin.

He speeds his movements up a bit and she throws her head back against the pillows. “Fuck,” she gasps. “God. Matt.”

“Okay, baby?” he asks. “Good to keep going?”

She nods. “Like you mean it,” she pants. Matthew’s smile reaches his ears.

Matthew throws one of her legs over his shoulder and is able to move deeper into her at the new angle. She cries out his name and he attaches his lips to her neck. He’s covering her entire body at this point. It’s not only his dick that’s big. Matthew himself is a bigger guy.

He slows his movements but continues to bury his cock in her. The knot forms again in the pit of her stomach.

“Matt, I-”

“Me too,” he interrupts. “This is about you. I’m not gonna come until you come on my cock, pretty girl.”

She feels tears in her eyes as she tries to keep herself from coming. It feels too good and she doesn’t want it to end yet.

Especially since this is probably the first and last time she gets this from Matthew. She wants it to last.

Matthew slides a hand between them and as soon as his fingers find her clit again, she comes.

His name is on her lips as he fucks her through what is definitely the strongest orgasm of her life. Her entire body shudders as she comes. Her vision goes white for a hot second and she completely melts against the mattress beneath her. Her legs fall to the bed.

He comes into the condom before he pulls out of her. They’re both panting messes as he ties off the condom and throws it out. She very lazily crawls under the covers and Matthew joins her.

There’s a comfortable silence between them as they both recover from their highs. She finally gains feeling back in all her extremities and looks over at him.

“Thank you,” she weakly says.

“For?”

“Doing that for me. It was fun. I enjoyed it.”

Matthew sits up in bed and leans back against the headboard just as she went to curl up next to him. “I should’ve said something before we did that,” he admits to her.

She sits up and holds the blankets under her arms to keep herself covered. “What?”

He bites his kiss-bruised bottom lip for a second. “I have feelings for you,” he confesses. “Genuine feelings for you and I feel guilty for saying yes before telling you that.”

A day full of surprises.

She’d be lying if she said she didn’t feel the same. There is a reason she asked him of all her friends to do this for her. She’s always known he was attractive, a genuine guy and an incredible hockey player.

She’s damn lucky that Matthew agreed to have sex with her.

Matthew looks terrified. She smiles and drops her head to his shoulder. “You should see the look on your face,” she laughs.

“I’m being serious,” he tells her.

“I know,” she replies. Her chin rests on his shoulder. “I like you too. Why do you think I asked you to do this and not someone else?”

He blinks. “I thought you were just tired of being a twenty year old virgin,” he flatly states.

“There was that but I wanted it to be you,” she admits. “I guess I was just shooting my shot.”

“You’re ridiculous,” Matthew laughs.

She crawls onto his lap and lays on him. “When do I get one of those cool jackets the wives and girlfriends have?”

“You want one?”

“I do,” she tells him as she looks up at him. “Is that okay? If I got one?”

Matthew smiles and nods. “I’ll get you one.”

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MASTERLIST

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[acronym49]

Obey Me! Characters react to mc being a dragon

(trying my hand at writing headcanons, let me know what you think! Other brothers + dateables are a work in progress)

__Lucifer__

He's not optimistic. His brothers are hard enough as it is, but adding in a new large creature? It'd be better to just keep you down with Cerberus. Maybe he'd enjoy the new playmate.The annoyance turns to intrigue when he learns you have the mind of any other demon (or person, if you will). And you can speak? Strange. This wont make him like you by any means, of anything he will be very distrusting. As you live there, though, he starts getting used to you. He even enjoys your odd antics, and especially the way you can rally in any ensuing chaos (despite how often you cause it).On one or two rare occasions, he'd absently try to pet you on the head when he was in that 'dead tired from paperwork' state. Depending on your reaction, he might do it more. When/if he does end up falling for you, expect to be near him a lot (obviously). There's not so many head-pats, but he likes to have you sit next to him while he's working or reading, sometimes absently stroking you neck or asking your opinion on whatever he's working with. There'll definitely be some teasing as to how catlike you are at times, but he means it lovingly. *he might put a collar on you if you ask-*He wouldn't ever be the type to outright ask to ride on your back, but I have the feeling he'd make subtle hints to it.'Ah, darn, the ride canceled last second. How can we get there now?' Ykyk. He'll turn you down the first time when you ask if he wants to fly with you, but that's just the pride talking for him. He'd love nothing more. After all, one of the most powerful lords of hell swooping in upon a dragon? You two would be an awe-inspiring duo, that's for sure.

__Mammon__

Ugh, he's gotta watch the new student? Lame! Humans are so- what the fuck is that?He dosen't know how to react at first. This is the thing he's looking after? It'll be awkward for the first few days, but as we know, he falls for MC fast. Awkward silence changes to him griping about how you always have to follow him. After the pact, though, he realizes you're not so bad. You tease him a little bit, sure, but he notices how you praise him, too. Just simple compliments, like how he looks good in his shades, how he's so good at math, how he's super fun to be around. It makes him feel better, y'know? Other demons also seem to be a bit less inclined to make fun of him when you're around, especially when you growl at them for being so openly mean. After a little bit of time, you two are basically glued at the hip. Depending on the kind of MC you are, you two could be the ultimate partners in crime or the closest confidants (or both!). There'll never be a boring moment with you two.It wont take him too long to ask to fly on you (probably be one of the first things he asks you tbh- it's like a joy-ride squared)He'd be respectful but mopey if you say no, but if you say yes? That's a happy demon on your hands right there. Be sure to set some boundaries, though, he might not wanna go by car anymore (like when you give a hognose snake a toad and they refuse to go back to pinkies lmfao). He'll try and get you to learn some aerial maneuvers, maybe how to spin or go upside-down (it's harder than it looks). When you two aren't flying or causing chaos together, you're both just hanging out. When he's relaxed, he likes to trace his hand over your smooth skin/scales/feathers/fur. He can't help it, the texture's just so soothing. Don't point it out, though, he'll go BRIGHT red. He likes it when you two watch movies together, or when you browse Devilgram with him over his shoulder. Feel free to nuzzle him and cuddle up, this man loves it. Sometimes he returns the favor, using you as his own sort of couch while he talks with you, sometimes giving you a peck here and there.

__Leviathan__

Oh this man is hyped from the start. A whole-ass dragon? LIVING with him and his brothers? What could be cooler? He has an internal war between wanting to get a good look at you and being really nervous to get too close. That nervousnes amps up when he realizes you can talk. You might think he's a hallucination at first with how fast he darts out of sight the moment you try and look at him. Fortunately, Mammon's debt to him is what spurs your first interaction. After, he's a little bit more ok with being percieved. He plays it cool at first, not wanting to seem too pushy, but he can't help but barrage you with questions when he gets the chance. It's actually quite a fun time, especially if you love infodumping as much as he (and I) does. You ask your own share of questions as well, about the Devildom, about him, about the games and figures he loves. As you two get more relaxed with one another, you both love to sit and chat about each other's hyperfixations. You can't exactly game with him due to your talons (not comfortably, anyways), but he lets you watch over his shoulder while he games. It makes his victories that much sweeter, and any losses a tad more bearable. Sometimes he lets you go on the mic to startle or taunt the other players, just for fun. It's hard to tell exactly when the relationship begins and the friendship ends, it's a smooth transition that neither of you really notice until you're literally cuddled up together, watching Assasination Classroom on his phone at 2am. It takes a surprising while for him to ask to fly with you. You may have to be the one to bring it up, actually. Nervous the whole time, 100%. He may decline, but upon numerous reassurances he'll agree. I think it's like... that test drive scene from httyd. It's so unfamiliar at first, being high up, with the wind blowing so fiercely. After a while, though, something clicks with him. He'll gain that confidence, guiding you (with your permission) where he wants to go. Something about that wild, windswept sensation of being a mile up in the air melts his nerves. It's just you two and the sky. The others are def gonna be jealous about how well you fly together.

(Feel free to tag with your dragon ocs! Sorry for any spelling errors lmao my eyes tend to skip over words sometimes)

[itsclydebitches]

Did I just saw with my own two eyes an episode, where Ted’s mother shows up and acts in this very disinterested “I am not interested in you and your achievements whatsoever, you are not even the main attraction of this trip and I’m going to tell you that in this indirect passive-aggressive way, but at the same time I AM here because I am displeased with you, now guess what’s wrong while I tell lies about you to your friends and colleagues. The lies that are kind of nice but also lies and it makes you feel uncomfortable and I do not care”.

And then Ted goes back to Kansas where he can’t have his career, his friends, but he will be in contact with Michelle (who dates their couple therapist, and that is something that makes Ted very uncomfortable) and mom???? Like? And Henry never asked him to return and in fact is not suffering at all. Henry is shown to be fine. He never has meltdowns when he leaves London, he doesn’t express any hurt feelings towards Ted. They seem to just have an unconventional arrangement and Henry misses Ted, but doesn’t feel neglected. It also seems like his mom just believes that Ted should be home with his son, an unassuming father who doesn’t have public panic attacks and causes her embarrassment??? Because the way she showed him the clippings from the papers?? Boy! I don’t know how else to interpret that tbh

Ted has just achieved one of the best moments in his career and his mom actively and purposefully poisoned that moment for him, this whole thing is being contrasted to Jamie’s mom, I just don’t believe that Ted is going to stay in Kansas. That can’t be.

Also I feel like the tedependance tinfoil hat is not a tinfoil hat at all because actually! Ted having suppressed a huge part about himself (bisexuality), and not being able to live his life because of his roots works really well here.

It's precisely readings like this that make me hope a permanent Kansas ending can't be possible and likewise believe that if that is our ending... Ted Lasso will have failed in a pretty significant way. Even just a few episodes ago I was fully on team, "I 100% don't want Ted to return to Kansas, but if he does I accept that this was an ending long in the making and just because I personally dislike it doesn't make it bad." Now though? They've introduced so much lately -- and emphasized so much else from past seasons, like Ted's rocky relationship with Michelle/Jake -- that I just can't read Kansas as a positive ending for Ted anymore. It's not just me and my preferences anymore, I don't think that ending fits the show, period. Is, in fact, a betrayal of everything Ted Lasso has argued for.

Ted's mom was a big part of that feeling this episode, as you've nicely laid out, anon. It's no coincidence that in an episode titled "Mom City," Ted's story with his mother does not run parallel to Jamie's (unfailingly supportive, knows him better than he knows himself, Jamie comes to her when he's ready, an act of agency that Dottie doesn't allow Ted), but rather closer to Jamie's dad. Which I don't mean as a way to say, "She's abusive!" but rather the more nuanced take that we end the episode on: You can forgive someone while still acknowledging that they've hurt you so badly. Ted, normally so polite with his "Oh boy"s and "Darn"s and "Shucks"s really says it all with a string of direct, angry, "Fuck you"s. That level of anger and disappointment will not be magically fixed with one dinner. By continually introducing Kansas-aligned characters that make Ted uncomfortable at best, uncharacteristically angry at worst, it HEAVILY sells the idea that the space itself is no longer healthy for him. He can slowly rebuild those relationships -- and arguably should -- but that's not the same thing as throwing himself back into their mix. Allowing Ted to stay in London with visits from his family is akin to Jamie remaining removed from his dad, but sending him a text on his own terms.

As for Henry, yeah. I've been arguing for ages that Henry does not act like someone who feels abandoned and the few arguments I've seen fans bring up aren't very persuasive to me. Basically, framing every normal child struggle as a result of Ted's distance. Henry being a short-term bully is not automatically some cry for attention tethered to an absent dad -- there's no evidence for that, especially when Henry uses Ted's own teachings to realize his mistake and apologize -- and him being sad with Beard is because he's finally seeing his dad and Ted is ignoring him. I'd be sad too if I hadn't seen someone in a while and they were spiraling instead of hanging with me. That doesn't mean I need them to drastically change their life to accommodate me in new ways. Henry as a character needs to be allowed to make mistakes without that automatically reflecting badly on what Ted has chosen for his own happiness and mental health. Anyway, yeah, Henry has consistently been shown to likewise be happy, well-adjusted, and fully engaged with Ted through visits/over Zoom, so this claim that Henry needs his dad in this way doesn't jive with three seasons of Henry flourishing through Ted's parenting this other way.

All of which means that, frankly, I think we should take Dottie's "Your son misses you" with a serious grain of salt. That's a damn broad statement because of COURSE Henry misses Ted and vice versa, but that basic reality of missing people in life when you're separated from them doesn't mean he misses him in the way that I think Dottie is implying: he's hurting to an extent that you need to fix in this specific way (moving back home). Beyond everything you've listed about how Dottie makes Ted uncomfortable, I think it's significant that she has Very Traditional Ideas about how this family should function. She couches it in a lot of humor and starts to demonstrate a bit more open-mindedness at the end of the episode, but we're still left with:

Telling all Ted's friends that he's done Amazing, Unique, Super Cool Things That are Objectively Impressive. To be clear, I found her interactions with the team as funny and surface-wholesome as we were supposed to, but I do think there was this underlying implication that Dottie is not as satisfied with Ted's choices as Ted himself is, so she 'accidentally' makes up stories that make him seem 'better' than he actually is. This is compounded by what you've pointed out, about how she only gives a cursory congratulations for this MONUMENTAL achievement. Compare that to Jamie's mom absolutely loosing her shit in support of him.

She brings the 'gift' of the clippings -- Ted should be GRATEFUL for this. Only a terrible son would be upset by a mother keeping track of his accomplishments! -- which not only include the headlines about the panic attacks, but she's situated them front and center, ensuring they're the first thing Ted sees. Combine that with her 'concerned' question about whether he's still getting panic attacks and you have this strong implication that Ted Is Bad For Showing Weakness. Men don't do that. The Lassos don't do that. They bury things in positivity, even the suicide of a father/husband. The fact that Ted immediately lies and says the panic attacks are gone says it all. He knows trying to explain this to her is a lost cause.

Speaking of mental health, are you really seeing that therapist? Oh, well, good for you, I guess. Me? No, no, no, I would never see one. I'm going to be suspicious of it to the point of implying that it's a flaw to need one. This is the one point where I cut Dottie a lot of slack because Ted himself went through the same arc of needing to accept the benefits of therapy, but we're nevertheless seeing where he (in part) got that biased perspective from.

There are a lot of throwaway lines that paint Dottie as a Good Traditional Mother, very much in contrast to Ted Lasso's queer, open-minded, gender roles-bending world. She continually reminds him that she is NOT having sex, it's those Australians. Why-ever would an older woman be having loud, enthusiastic sex? (Compare that to Rebecca nearly getting it on with the boat guy, a celebration of romance and sexuality for older women.) Dottie can't take the bed. That's not the polite thing to do. She needs to be coaxed into accepting even the simplest of care while, simultaneously, expecting Ted to offer it despite the inconvenience. (If I bring up the awful hostel I've been staying in you'll offer to let me crash here instead, right?). That's one of the big differences between Ted and his mother: Ted has a lot of trouble accepting help, but honestly doesn't expect anything in return for the intense kindness he doles out to others. In contrast, Dottie has trouble admitting that she's accepting help, she pretends to do the nice thing while waiting for someone to insist strongly enough that she do what she's wanted to do from the get-go, then she's off the hook because, well, they basically made her. Will Dottie go to a football game like Henry and Higgins and Rebecca and Keeley and Bex and all the other emotionally open characters, screaming for her son in the midst of chaotic action? Oh no. No, no, no, that's not for her. She'll just stay home and do the Proper Thing of making a home-cooked dinner for her little boy... while making him feel guilty about that by sending texts about how now she kinda does wish she was at the game. The conclusion to their moment of honesty and growth is Ted (a man, the child in the relationship) serving her (the woman, the mother) for once, which I think highlights how much of the Good Traditional Kansas Woman mask Dottie has learned to maintain.

All of which is to say that we've been introduced to a loving but incredibly flawed mother who puts a LOT of stock in old-school values and appearances. There's no way that this all doesn't extend to her views on Henry, her grandson. Right now, Dottie is not someone who can fully embrace Ted's nontraditional style of life (divorced, in therapy, taking some risks like drinking not-actually-drugged tea) or parenting (long-distance, "It takes a village"). She doesn't outright reject Ted's choices, but she does spend the entire episode being passive-aggressive, even manipulative at times, to make it very clear that she does not approve of all this. When she says, "Your son misses you" it reads as a very biased view of the situation, driven by the idea that no child could possibly be happy without that nuclear family living their white-picket fence life in the good old US-of-A. Ted needs to move back to Kansas not because of Henry, but because that's what Good Fathers Do. I don't think Dottie should be seen as a reliable source here for what Henry actually wants or needs. She certainly hasn't been a reliable source for Ted.

Which -- as said numerous times -- paints Kansas in an incredibly negative light. We haven't actually seen Ted in Kansas on the show, so our understanding of his relationship with that place is filtered through the people living there. Michelle, Jake, and Dottie are all emotional landmines that Ted still needs a lot of time to diffuse and Henry is written as perfectly content with their arrangement. If Ted permanently goes back to Kansas I'm really gonna be ????????????????????????????????? about it.

[kiriiqt]

In the meantime with the Diluc fic, would you happen to have any spare Scara headcanons?

SPOILER WARNING FOR 3.2

Like how he reacts to seeing reader taking care of him when he wakes up after losing the gnosis? That was a LONG fall and it looked like he landed on his head, so he was probably knocked unconscious. (RIP his hat) Or tbh any general hc's you have for him if this is too specific! Thank you so much for sharing your hard work with us!

taking care of scaramouche after his fall

- scaramouche is surprised to wake up in one piece, but he's even more surprised to see you there taking care of him.

characters: scaramouche x reader a/n: thank you so much for requesting! and no worries about being too specific, it actually helps me out. fun fact; scary is one of my favorite characters so I have a lot of spare headcanons about him. as always, feel free to request again if I misunderstood anything. also, this dragged out im so sorry. warnings: kinda angsty, descriptions of illness, sleep paralysis, an attempt at slow buildup of a relationship. some beta, we cling on like signora simps do.

I kept it vague as to what you and Scaramouche were before the Sumeru Arc, but you two did know each other, and you were working against him somehow.

Scaramouche spends a long time out of it. He’s not exactly had an easy life, and artificial god-form or not, the gnosis probably did a number on his body and mind - especially when it was taken away. Even with Nahida’s care, his body is incredibly weak, and he’s being plagued by nightmares and horrible memories. He’s essentially as weak and defenseless as a newborn child, and when he finally wakes up, he has to come to terms with the fact that he needs to start over. Again.

You and Scaramouche don't acknowledge each other for a while; His pride has taken a serious beating, and part of him refuses to believe that you're willingly taking care of him. He's sure it's a ploy of sorts, to put him in debt to you, one he couldn't possibly pay off - not that he's planning to. Meanwhile, you're twisting your own thoughts; truthfully, you pity him, but the constant reminder of what he's done in his lifetime - puppet or not - is washing over you like an incoming storm, and not even Nahida's words can alleviate that form of guilt.

You two get into a routine; you make sure he eats, drinks and sleeps, you put him through the rehabilitation program Nahida made, and you keep quiet every morning when his eyes are red and face is swollen from crying. You don't call out his poor excuses, and you don't ask for anything in return for your care. Scaramouche doesn't thank you anyway - at best he scoffs at you, glaring as if you were the one to take his gnosis. Most of the time, he's zoned out - pretending you're not there at all.

A few weeks pass by, and he's finally capable of walking by himself again - his mood seems better, and he's not on the verge of passing out just from crossing the room anymore. He's been outside again, although only on the balcony, but it's improvement, and he thinks so as well. You don't mention it, but it's obvious in the way his lips curl, and the way his eyes light up when the wind brushes past him. It makes a small smile break through your own frown. Still, recovery can be cruel with its ups and downs - and the world wouldn't let you forget that.

It takes a flare up - a bad one - for Scaramouche to finally acknowledge you. Waking up, he's thrown from one nightmare into another, his limbs paralyzed and eyes wide open, hot, searing pain pierces through him like hellfire, and for a second he thinks he's dying. He wants to scream, he needs to, but his throat feels raw and he can't move. His stomach churns at the sight of the world around him distorting, comforting green color bleeding into hues of red and purple; shapes breaking free from the chaos, faces he can recognize, voices he can recognize, pounding on his head like thunder strikes. And then - it stops.

You're gently shaking him awake, placing a cold cloth on his head and explaining something about another fever, but your words barely reach him. Your voice does, though; and while his head still feels as if it's being pounded against a wall, body engulfed in pain, you somehow pulled him out of that waking nightmare. And by the Archons, has he never been more fucking grateful to you in his life.

Still, he can't do anything; the pain overwhelms his senses, and closing his eyes feels like falling into a dark pit, spinning rapidly, and nausea washes over him again. He's not sure how much time passes, but it feels like an eternity - until, eventually, the pain stops.

Four days, you tell him. The flare up lasted four days; a high fever, but he's experienced it before. Part of him is thankful for not remembering it. You then tell him that it wasn't his first time experiencing sleep paralysis, either; and he wonders just how many times you've seen him like this. You shake your head when asked, another frown on your face. He decides not to pry.

You turn to leave, conversation seemingly over, but stop briefly when he utters a meek "Thanks". So quiet you could miss it, and part of him honestly hopes you did. He doesn't get a reply - but you leave with a small smile on your face.

From then on, things seem to improve between the two of you. It starts awkwardly. Scaramouche, or, Wanderer, as he asks you to call him for the time being, isn’t one to open up, and you’re not too keen on the idea of rambling about your days, when most of them are spent taking care of him or helping the traveler, with very little time left for yourself. Still, you manage to chat somehow - going from smalltalk, to Cyno’s bad jokes, to icebreakers that Nahida suggests - until eventually, conversation flows naturally between the two of you. You begin to bring him out of the sanctuary - in disguise, of course - and on those walks that get longer and longer the better he feels, there is little to do but chat about your lives. You get to experience what he’s like normally, and although he acts like a little shit, it’s nice to see him look a little more alive than he did before.

Nahida still has him under strict supervision, but as long as you’re with him, he’s fine to go out. Well, it could be anyone, really, but Dehya and him are at eachothers throats within minutes, Nilou simply refuses to be near him, and he’s told both Al Haitham and Cyno to go suck it one too many times (and that's among the nicer things he’s said to them). So, he always ends up with you, and you pretend to ignore the self-satisfied smirk that's on his face anytime someone comes dragging him your way. You also pretend to ignore the laugh Nahida is holding back at his antics.

Wanderer becomes a constant presence in your life; always bugging you to give him attention, to do something with him, and most of the time, it ends up with you dragging him off before he accidentally breaks the law (or insults Al Haitham…again). Though, you notice that he’s oddly nice to children and the elderly - not above helping either out, and one time you even saw him playing peek-a-boo with a kid while waiting for you. It made you smile, but you didn’t miss how quiet he got when the mother laughed and picked up the girl, telling her to bid him farewell. The same evening, he wordlessly hugs you, and tells you about his own mother. For a few hours, you two sit together, hidden away from the world for a while.

He’s quickly back to normal, but you somehow feel that you’ve gotten closer. It shows in the way his gaze softens when looking at you, and how his hand occasionally finds yours when no one is looking. You see it in Nahida’s knowing smile, and in how Dehya rolls her eyes, but sends a wink your way when Wanderer looks away. He’s become more protective as well, you notice, as he’s quick to step in to defend you in even the smallest of scuffles. You can’t resist teasing him about it sometimes, and the blush on his face when he tries to deny it with his entire being is one of the best things you’ve ever seen. 

Over time, he’s made himself home in your accommodations, and your heart, and while dealing with his antics and taking care of him is difficult, you’d be lying if you said that you wanted him out. You don’t mind holding him through the occasional flare ups, or picking him up on days when he’s so weak that he collapses, and you make sure to tell him this when he seems to doubt it.

One day, it’s suspiciously quiet in your house, and for a second you’re afraid that he’s run off; but relief washes over you when you see him sitting by your desk, looking at something in his hand. You approach him, and glance over his shoulder to see…a vision. A shining, green gemstone, with an anemo symbol in the middle - somewhere in the back of your mind, you recall Venti’s laugh, and think back on the day on the balcony when Wanderer finally managed to walk that far. How the wind immediately picked up, as if to welcome him back. He’s inspecting it, lost in thought, as his eyes glide over the symbol, and the gold casing around it - the decoration that indicates where the wielder is from. His gaze seems to get stuck on it - teeth worrying at his bottom lip, and you glance down, concerned about what it could mean for him. But, to your relief, the gold isn’t shaped in the style of an Inazuman vision, or a Snezhnayan one; it resembles a leaf, or a teardrop; the one that so many of your friends from Sumeru carry. He snaps out of his daze when you place a hand on his shoulder, smiling down at him; and his expression softens with a sigh.

“I wonder… is this just another way of tying me to a God?”

His voice comes out meek, and you exhale slowly, choosing your next words carefully.

“...How much do you know of the Anemo Archon?”

“Tsk, just that he’s a lazy Archon who practically abandoned his people under the guise of freedom.”

Both of you pause, with you deep in thought, and him glaring at the vision in front of him.

“Well, we could argue all day if it’s abandonment or freedom - but from what I know, he cares about his people, and if anyones really in need, he does interfere. He doesn’t just leave all to suffer”.

Wanderer scoffs, throwing a glare your way. Still, he doesn’t speak for a while, so your words did get to him, you figure. You lean against the wall next to the desk, crossing your arms, gaze falling on the faintly pulsating vision.

Wanderer breaks the silence again. “What does freedom really mean though, when demanded of you by a God?”

Those words sounds familiar, you realize, as you ponder his question. You glance out the window, humming, while he looks at you expectantly. His eyebrows knit together in an offended look when a small smile pulls at the corners of your lips, and he opens his mouth to spew an insult, but you interrupt him.

“I think this means that the ball is in your court. You can take it, use the new power granted to you, and start anew, if you’re ready…” Pushing yourself off the wall, you pick up the vision and turn it in your hand “...or, you can leave it. Entirely behind, or just on the shelf, for another day.”

He looks up at you again, as you slide the vision into his hand with a smile.

“But, I think that the fact that it’s here is enough of a sign already. So what will it be, Wanderer?”

[ranposgirlboss]

~bsd comfort hcs~

this came about while i was cleaning dishes and scanning my check in from work LMAOAKSIUJSAHb (this is pretty much just a more elaborate ver of my other one)

can also be seen as romantic or platonic!!

charas: sigma, ranpo, poe, chuuya, and nikolai

genre: FLUFF!!!!!!! some mild hurt comfort <3

I ALSO STARTED THIS AFTER WORK SO IT MIGHT KINDA SUCK SINCE IM SO TIRED OMFG 😭 IM SORRY IF IT DOES ILL GIVE U A KISS IN RETURN

(it slowly goes more and more downhill)

LESSGOOO ₍₍ ◝(　^∀ ^ )◟ ⁾⁾

---------------------------------------

SIGMA

-SIGMAA (my crush on this man grows bigger by the day), so as i mentioned last time he would know when there's something wrong pretty quickly!!

-sigma would probably play a game of cards with you to distract you for a bit tbh (he will hesitantly agree to play uno AJHNMAKBHJS HIM PKAYING UNO WOULD BE SO FUNNY but anyways.)

-may or may not try to lose on purpose in an attempt to make you happier

-seems like a speed typa guy (that card game is so fun its the best one)

-after a bit and once youve calmed down, he'll ask what happened to you

-if you to choose to explain, he would probably gossip about it with you, or tell you its ok and you're doing great <33

-if you choose not to, he totally understands! he'll just keep on playing the card game with you, or yall could go do something else!!

-VERY GOOD COMFORT!!

RANPO

-lets all be honest with ourselves

-he isnt the BEST at comfort

-however, that doesnt necessarily mean that hes BAD at it

-he will take a bit to notice, as he is pretty absorbed in cases, eating snacks, and being a dense genius that cant tell peoples emotions that well!!

-but, you can always ask him to distract you for a bit if your emotions are very big

-hes very good at distracting you

-probably will say "stop staying cooped up inside!! >:(" and just grab you and take you to some bakery to eat sweets with him, to play video games with you!!

-since he gets that youre not in the best mood, hell try his best not to steal your food. keyword: best.

-playing games with ranpo is so fun don't even

-he probably wouldnt be the best at responding well if you ranted to him, would probably say that he's sorry but that's kinda the best he can do

-if you dont wanna talk about it, perfect!! ranpo is internally scared you might lash out at him due to his lack of actual response ಥ‿ಥ

-pretty good at comfort, mostly just turns to yall hanging out tho!!

POE

-im never gonna stop writing for him be prepared to see him in every hcs <33

-at first he wouldnt know what to do

-i mean, hes barely even had any FRIENDS to comfort.....sooooooooooooooo

-his version of comfort is like buying a mansion if you feel sad

-i mean thats somehow the ONLY conclusion

-"you dont feel sad anymore right y/n ( ꈍᴗꈍ)"

-I MEAN YOU CANT FEEL SAD WHEN YOURE SUPER SHOCKED SO IT KIND OF WORKS JUST....NOT THE WAY YOU EXPECTED

NIKOLAI

-THE SILLY.

-HE IS THE PRIME JOKESTER. HE WILL MAKE YOU LAUGH, NO MATTER WHAT IT TAKES.

-he just doesnt wanna see you sad, BUT HE DOESNT KNOW HOW TO ACTUALLY COMFORT PEOPLE

-so, he will make you laugh. to distract you from the problem.

-he very well knows that this wont help in the long run, but i mean, what is he gonna do?? learn how to ACTUALLY comfort you?? why would he do that when he can be silly instead????? (same)

-if you didnt laugh at his jokes, well, then he'll shock you out of sadness.

-will literally fucking teleport your whole body some place random. (use his silly ability, idfk what its called 😭)

-like im not fucking joking

-so laugh for your own sake

-OR YOURE GOING TO THE VOID!!!

CHUUYA

-i eat my manga chuuya'os everyday (get it??? because cheerios and chuuya, so if you combine the names you get chuuyios/chuuya'os. laugh.)

-hot take, I THINK HE WOULD BE REALLY GOOD AT COMFORT

-LIKE NO CAP

-he would probably just bluntly ask you what was wrong, and if you don't want to explain, that's alright.

-im not gonna shut up about him taking you on motorcycle rides.

-i never WILL >:(

[the-owl-tree]

You know, I actually am reading Tree's Roots atm bc the Sisters talk had me thinking if I fell for how it was written like a naive young adult idiot and low and behold, I have so much to complain about. Apologies of the long rant in your inbox if you don't mind. ^^'

I find Moonlight's "in-universe" explanation why they can't let a tom stay past 6 moons a bunch of bullshit, however that's more on the fault of the writing than anything with her. Seriously, "We let a tom stay longer than 6 moons, and then everything went to hell. We suddenly had to deal with the hardest winter and so many died as a result" What? A singular tomcat has no effect on a literal bad coincidence! What is this malarkey??? There's bad omens sure but there's bad omens and then there's using it as a means to essentially scare Earth to leave.

It's only AFTER all that that Moonlight then gives a more grounded part of why Earth can't stay: The tom that was allowed to stay grew too dependent on the Sisters, didn't know how to take care of himself because of this dependence, and his best means to survive alone was to become a domestic cat. That in of itself wasn't bad however when you really stop and think about it.

But let's say we take it further. Toms in the Sisters need this early separation bc growing dependent on the Sisters disrupts their ability to connect with the earth itself. The Sisters are connected to the sky, since they sing for the mollies in the stars and when toms die they DO grieve but are comforted with the notion that the tomcats that die are returned to the earth where they've always belonged and are welcomed. A tom that will soon wander should be focusing on connecting with the land he will travel, and focus on connecting with the spirits that they all share. Not doing that will disrupt his ability to connect, leading him to have a harder time being able to take care of himself bc of this struggling connection, or might not be able to connect to the land at all bc he's more focused on being dependent on the sky (aka the Sisters). Or, idk, SOMETHING like that. That dependence and inability to connect due to it should be the problem, not some bad weather leading to a potentially bad omen. How do the Sisters even know what omens are? Why does every single non-clan group need to know what these things are? Anyways... take away the "we're throwing male children out bc we're evilz and bad and inferior and sexist" thing and literally have it be the "This is your coming-of-age, learn it, live it, be the man you want to be, because you will have to learn to take care of yourself and have the means to now, that means just isn't us anymore, we love you and wish you love and happiness wherever we find you again" moment it should be instead. I wish we got that..

Earth already was having a hard time seeing spirits, he was a late bloomer, and thus would struggle to take care of himself as is had Root not came about bc those spirits are what essentially guide toms to learning the ways of the world and how to survive it. Literal Spirit Guides, and Earth didn't know how to actually sit down and relax to see them. Why is the idea of him becoming a domestic cat so bad? He was already insisting on staying... who knows how long tbh? Why is being in a comfy home taken care of by humans seen as some bane for these cats? Especially since he didn't have the means to take care of himself as is. He couldn't see spirits then, why is the idea of being in safety and comfort with a human UNTIL he does so terrifying? And then when he has to leave, after getting the genuine love from his female relatives and colony-mates (seriously idk how I thought Moonlight didn't love him when this novella came out but I'm READING IT AND SHE DOES we're just put in the perspective of a tom that for some reason despite growing up in this culture just ASSUMES THE SISTERS HATES HIM??? HUH?), he doesn't even wander the entire night leaving his kitten-hood behind, complains about being alone for ONE night, just assumes the Sisters and with it his mother abandoned him and never would've missed him(??? Despite people grieving differently hello?), IMMEDIATELY goes back and follows them, and then tells his own Sister Ice when he meets her that she along with the others don't care for him, even assuming that if they caught him before that that he would get attacked and driven out? Despite the fact that in SQH when they DO meet again Moonlight doesn't do that. She's literally.... just traditional like the rest of the Sisters. That's all it is. I am one to be all "yeah fuck traditions wooo!" sure but this society literally has its head on its shoulders for the most part. It knows what it is, it knows how itself works. It's flawed like the rest but that doesn't mean its badand nothing needs to be fucked compared to the Clans. Toms and their spirits are no different from apprentices being the charges of their mentors in the long run.

It's honestly why I wish we had a perspective that WASN'T Earth/Tree if we were gonna have a Sister's perspective. I want the perspective of a Sister who has to deal with the eventual wandering of her son(s) and see how she grieves for him despite the comfort that he will be fine because he has the earth itself to guide him. I wanna see how life in the Sisters is long-term for these mollies. I would love to see how Ice, in her perspective and life post-Earth time, came to terms with the idea that she's choosing to give up everything she knew to be with her lover without separation, and comforted with the fact that The Sisters will miss her but will gladly welcome her back if things don't work out. I wanna see the perspective of a young tom that, in growing up IN THIS CULTURE, is EXCITED for his eventual wander. Literally give him the BIGGEST wanderlust, wanting to see the world and maybe even exploring outside the boundaries of the camp as a taste of what he could have and the Sisters seeing his enthusiasm and being so endeared by it. I wanna see how, within the Sisters territory, this tom sees spirits and his relationship with them early in his life and how they train these toms through this eye. Let his wander be a life full of adventure and spirit! No ties to him anymore, he is his own cat and can do whatever he wants now!

But no, Instead, we are for some reason given the ONE CAT that, despite growing up within this very group, taught their ways, and thus only knows THIS life, is completely against everything he's lived up to this point, complains CONSTANTLY about this only life being how things are despite growing up this way and not knowing how outside cats are like to have this comparison, complaining about the only traditions he knows, resents his mother literally for sending him off on his coming of age mark like Snail and Chestnut were (they were fine being sent off btw, and Stream was also not worried about his wander) and assuming she abandoned him even though every other tom his age up to this point did not hate her and also she didn't fucking abandon him oml, even assuming she doesn't love him just because he was at the age of independence for his group and so Moonlight didn't need to baby him anymore, somehow is the ONE SISTERBORNE TOM TO NOT SEE SPIRITS WHEN EVERYONE ELSE HAS BTW, and thus is literally a plot device to deem the Sisters ways bad. Earth/Tree is a plot device, plain and simple. Bc there's no way in hell one singular cat somehow knows how to act like a xenophobic clan cat expecting the only life he knows with NO OUTSIDE PERSPECTIVE to change. None. I swear I could do a better job writing a cat with a non-clan perspective than the Erins...

Earth/Tree being a late-bloomer isn't a problem in of itself, I imagine chances like that are rare as hell to where the Sisters don't have a means to work around it without that risk of dependence, but it's not impossible to think about, it's EVERYTHING ELSE about him that's so damn wrong. And what's even more frustrating is the story team (fucking website people ngl I hate them) tried to write about how in Tree's article that he was a character they had all figured out from the start and that he's so complex and interesting... no, he's an outsider tom written with a xenophobic clan cat mindset in an instance that wouldn't happen and is whiny, sexist, and other words I can't think of at the moment. Tree's Roots could've been interesting, but no, it falls into the same pitfalls all the other recent novellas got only more offending bc it's from the lens of an outsider living in an Amazonian society full of women.

I can never get behind like. the weird outrage people have at the """"misandric"""" sisters because if you think about this novella for like five seconds, the bizarre misogyny and crumbling worldbuilding becomes very evident (as you pointed).

i know the gut reaction people have for characters who change their names and resent their moms, i know why ppl are so emotionally charged by these. but i find the takes these emotions feel just...kind of fundamentally useless analysis for a lot of reasons but that's besides the point.

[tokillamockingbird427]

May i talk to you about transfem Elias? (Bit angsty here and there i suppose)

Eli who had the feel already starting teens, but that was promptly shut down by her dad, so that was burried very deep to keep from dad finding out and him going balistic over it. Not that the feelings ever went away, no matter how much she'd hoped and prayed.

It got a bit better with wifey, she kinda figured it out and while never actively confronting it, showing Elias that she could be whoever she wants with her/at home. Though Elias couldn't get out of that mind lock.

Some of that did crumble when Logan came out to them and Elias helped him every step of the way, because "i will be so much better than my dad, i'm gonna be who i needed, for him"

That completely sold it for Mrs Walker, because Elias misspoke once when talking about that, talking about that "if one knows what that feels like, it's me.."

More crumble after mumma Walker died, because Elias found a letter to herself, where she talks about that she knows about that and that it's fine and that she would've loved seeing her beautiful wife all being herself. Elias cried for quite a bit after reading it and maybe just maybe, slowly comes to the conclusion that keeping it buried won't be for the best anymore, but that had to wait, because first gotta figure out how to juggle everything on her own.

From the Ghosts it was first just Rorke that knew, because they were the closest and Elias had to talk to someone about that letter and it's contents. He was surprisingly great about it, making sure Elias was always comfy to be herself when they were alone, trying to figure outhow to do that, also scaring everyone that just says something mildly transphobic.

The last bit crashed after the boys ended up in the ghosts (might have gotten back to buring due to losing Rorke and thinking it'd be too late anyway and then Odin and shit happend) not sure if the letter resurfaced or if Rorke just started being an ass and taunting about it (i hate that idea tbh). They all then had a big convo about it and while everyone was a bit down that Elias never thought of telling anyone of them, they are happy that in the end she did do it. The boys might be brainstorming for possible names, though Elias doesn't really care all too much, went her whole live with that name and it's not too bad. Merrick just ends up calling her Eli or Ellie. Keegan, Kick and Neptune do their own brainstorm, though it's maybe a little more "trolly", more in a way, let's get the ones that don't work out of the way.

And tho Elias says they don't have to do anything like that, they all insist, because "you held yourself back too long, now you don't have to anymore, we just want you happy" and while she ain't sayinh it, they all know that everything they do, all little "ma'ams" instead of Sir, mum's instead of dad's, all that, make her super happy and even the boys realise this tiny glint in their parent's eyes that they never saw before, which in return makes them really happy too.

-🐑

(I'm sad and mad, cause i think tumblr ate my first attempt at sending this before christmas...)

This is so long it could count as a one shot /J

Mom dad, call her "Mad" wheeeeeze

Aww, they all just want Elias to be happy. That's sweet.

[ramblings-of-a-mad-cat]

”I have an unusual amount of analysis to offer about a handful of specific children's stories turned musicals”

I would love to hear that analysis

You have opened a floodgate, and there is no putting a stopper in it now.

So our version of Peter Pan takes aspects from multiple adaptations but also pulls stuff right out of the original book. There's a great scene of Mrs. Darling "combing her children's thoughts" as they're asleep before she leaves for the dinner party, and we have that. It's hard to explain but basically the book says that all mothers clean out their children's minds of the bad thoughts like they might clean out their rooms. And the Darling kids are all dreaming of things they'll see in Neverland. It's kind of suggesting that Neverland manifests differently to everyone who goes there, and stuff like the Pirates and the Indians are only there because the kids dreamed about them.

But we directly defy stuff from the book as well. The book (and the Broadway show) are actually quite sad in a lot of ways because Peter is a tragic character. He will never grow up, but that comes with implications that the full story does not ignore. He never learns any lessons or grows as a person because that means growing up, and he will never do it. He refuses. It's why he can't even conceptualize Wendy in the romantic way, (and versions that have him reciprocate her feelings misunderstand him tbh) because that's an "older kid" thing, and "older kids" are starting to...say it with me...grow up. Plus, he needs Wendy to be his mother. Like, he needs that specifically. This gets more into his canon backstory but what Peter wants more desperately than anything is a mother. She just can't be a grownup, because he hates grown-ups, doesn't trust them.

Sorry, I got off topic. One thing we directly changed from the book is that in the original story, Tinkerbell has died by the time Peter returns for Wendy in her adulthood, and Peter has already forgotten about Tink. We specifically have Tink come with him, to see adult Wendy and fly away with Jane, because you can't have the literal climax of the stage play (or what I consider the climax) be about saving Tinkerbell's life and then not have her be alive in the epilogue. Screw that. We have Peter fly off with Jane, leaving Tinkerbell to share the final bit of dialogue with Wendy. Given where their relationship started and how much Wendy has grown since then, it's actually quite beautiful. "You'll never believe it, but...I actually missed you."

It's perfect because...potentially hot take here...Peter is not the main character. Wendy is. I know the story is named for Peter, but so what? The Wizard of Oz isn't named for Dorothy. Peter is an important character, to be sure. He's a main character, and the lead in the stage play. But this isn't his story. It's Wendy's. We don't go to Neverland until she decides to go, and once she decides to leave, we go with her. Wendy is the one who goes through an actual arc. She ends up in a different place by the end of the story. Peter, by his very nature, does not change. He's a static character. Which is not a criticism, the whole point and the whole tragedy of Peter is this unwillingness to grow up, to the point where...this is hard to explain, but Peter more or less isn't completely human anymore. He is a "betwinxt and between" basically he's part fairy.

[themetalvirus]

prime spoilers

its so funny that shadow kept screaming SONIC JUST FUCKING LISTEN TO ME FOR A SECOND into sonic's face and he just KEPT. IGNORING HIM. DUDE LISTEN TO SHADOW HES A FUCKING GHOST STUCK IN THE VOID YOU SHOULD PROBABLY HELP HIM. JESUS CHRIST. i'd punch sonic too after that

i love rusty rose. i love her. i LOVE her. i hope she gets her free will back, she is clearly capable of good (and was turned good in that one episode). get all of the programming OUT of her and just let her make her own decisions, i don't even care if she returns to eggman anyway because it's all she's known for so long, i just need to see her with free will. please. someone help this poor girl

speaking of people who need help, nine :( NINE. nine. NINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hes SO!!!! he needs to experience the magic of friendship and shoot his first friendship rainbow beam so bad. hes so lonely and USED to being lonely that he chose a barren wasteland to call home. that's no way to live, man.

also captain knuckles had a reeeeally concerning turn in that last episode, his Gemstone Guarding Instincts kicked in and he went a little nuts. i want more of that tbh. more nutso knuckles

i was expecting a lot more from prime but this is very very clearly not the end, it's clearly not even the whole of season 1 and is being split up into different release chunks for netflix (like glitch techs is 1 season but was released in two seperate chunks as "seasons 1 and 2"). i personally hoped to see more worlds, but i'm also glad what we DID see was fleshed out. i was expecting a more episodic format in terms of visiting the worlds so i'm happy we get to spend actual time in each of them and get to know the characters and their problems

i'm wondering if sonic erased his original friends out of existence when he shattered the paradox prism (like how green hill doesnt exist anymore) or if they also landed in different worlds. or the void. or something else entirely

speaking of green hill, isn't it super weird that they just... decided all of sonic's world is green hill. i guess it's for budgetary reasons? and to control the scope? but it's super fucking weird right, like, i'm not the only one that thinks that's weird? there are. other places in sonic's world. sonic doesn't live ANYWHERE he just ends up in green hill a lot. maybe it's also for a point of comparison, like how the loop-de-loop is always in the same place? just to have more solid landmarks to see what's different. i just wish they did that with like. multiple areas of the world. instead of multiple landmarks of Just Green Hill

anyway waiting for the next part of this show to drop is gonna be torture. i have some Gripes and Grumbles (WHERE IS BLAZE IN THE PIRATE DIMENSION? WHERE IS SHE!) but nothing is ever perfect and also i love having stuff to gripe and grumble about. rusty rose is my new best friend btw. (also the knuxouge enjoyers are eating well, congratulations to those who that applies to)

theres gonna be so much fanfic about these goddamn places i can tell. especially the fucked up eggman won world. theres so much potential there. i'm hoping (like another person said) that rusty rose's backstory is that she got kidnapped, sonic wasn't there, and she got turned into a fucked up robot thing. because wouldn't that be fucked up. that would fuck this version of sonic up too, he'd feel so upset and guilty that he couldn't help her (and then be determined to help her NOW even if shes evil). i wish they spent more time on rusty and the pirate amy recognizing each other and being freaked out tho. thats also a lot of potential

i also want to see sonic find another version of himself. i don't think that'll happen? because like, he doesn't exist in any of these worlds because he's the god of these gajillion universes. but also i want him to find a fucked up version of himself and go dear god that could have been me. itd be neat i think

in any case i am kissing these writers on the mouth for rusty rose and nine. i am a sonic fan who craves being spoonfed more funny little guys so i can point and go HEY I KNOW THAT GUY but i'm also just really glad that big is part of the crew. hes so good :)

i have more thoughts but also i am eepy and i dont feel like typing anymore. sonic prime flawed and for babies but also good. i'm glad we finally got a proper action cartoon this time, it's wicked cool. i love rusty rose did i mention that yet. i love rusty rose

[there-are-many-ways-to-smile]

Since I've decided not to watch anymore seasons of Grey's. I want to take this time to talk about stuff I probably have no business talking about because I didn't watch the actual episodes. 😅

This is gonna be very out of order.

☆: As much as I like Bailey, Alex should have the board chair. Cristina left it for him and Richard shouldn't even be allowed to Nominate anyone. He's not even on the board.

☆: Maggie and Jackson dating each other is gross. People keep saying it fine cause they didn't grow up together. I don't care. Them being attracted to each other while their parents are dating/married is disgusting. Like that's literally your legal sibling.

☆: if I watched season 14, Casey Parker would have been a favorite character. I’ve only seen clips on him and top tier, him and Cristina and maybe Alex would have been so powerfully unhinged. Lol

☆: Idk the relationship with Maggie and Meredith but I think Maggie expecting Meredith to tell her everything about her life is a bit much, like it’s so much and she just met you. So obviously she’s not gonna be like here’s my life story. Idk what’s going on with Alex but you can’t fault Meredith for trusting him over Maggie she’s known the dude for like ten years…

☆: Maggie 100 percent should waited to be on better terms with Meredith before dropping the “we share a mom” bomb.

☆: I'm so confused on the Maggie and Jackson getting married thing. Because how would that have worked. Husband and wife while also being step-siblings. 🤮

☆: People keep bringing up Lexie whenever they see Maggie and calling her a lexie replacement. Listen one, Chyler Leigh wanted to be killed off the show, she and Maggie could have been friends or whatever. Stop trying to compare the them. Two, greys anatomy had Maggie planned since day one, albeit more so as a brother.

☆: I would have lowkey loved if Maggie was a brother instead of a sister. I just think would have been interesting. Probably something like

Meredith:"I've never had a brother before"

Derek or someone "what are you talking about? Isn't Alex kind of like having a brother?"

Then a cute scene of Alex and Meredith being like siblings. Idk

☆: the Nathan drama of season 13 is wild, after all that drama that happened when Meredith first met Derek. I can't even imagine her seeing someone know her sister Maggie liked and was actively going on dates with. [Tbh i have no idea if there were dates but the clip made it sound like that.] Nathan is trash for not telling Maggie he liked Meredith.

☆: I just saw Meredith and Jackson goodbye, and I actually like them. I remember when izzie came back to work after the merge and Alex, Cristina, Meredith and Jackson were all eating lunch together, and he said something and one of them was like "who invited you here?" And Meredith was all like "I did." That shit was cute. I wish season 10 and lower had more scenes of them being friends.

☆: I don't like Maggie and Jackson, but emotional cheating is still cheating.. it's exactly like what april was doing to Matthew..

☆: not Stephanie trying to blame the harassment complaints on Leah, like she wasn't one of the reasons Leah did it in the first place. Don't crap where you eat? (This is from the episode where Leah returns, I saw a clip on youtube.)

□: While writing this I'm low-key thinking about going back to binge the show for Alex, but he's goodbye is so bad, and I hate him and Izzie so much. I refuse 😤 also I heard Callie character development suffers a lot 😭

☆: Why would they have Callie keep dating the woman who killed her friend? Hate that (I watched the dinner scene on YouTube)

If I see anymore scenes that I'm like oof to, I'll make a part two

Even though I have zero business complaining 😆

[bylertruther]

One would think Mike would be ecstatic on his first day in cali. He finally gets to see his gf and spend time with her. But no, Will was quiet and kinda moody and this has ruined the whole day. Ahahaha. When he said that during their argument, it made me laugh. how do you think Mike will react when he finds out El didn’t ask Will to do the painting?

he really said woooooow.... so you're really not gonna be obsessed with me? not only do you bring another girl's painting (which was our thing btw) to OUR reunion and have the NERVE to be hot now, but you also want to not laugh at my jokes or take my olive branch? how abt i step into traffic rn. wht if i slipped n sprained my ankle, will. then would u pay attention to me. i know that my girlfriend has been lying to me this entire time straight to my face, just got harassed by everyone in the roller rink and had that moment immortalized on tape, and ran off to cry somewhere alone, but you not paying attention to me is worse than all of that actually and tbh it's kind of unforgivable. LIKE MICHAEL PLEASE..... I KNOW U CALLED HIM ALL THE TIME AND NEVER GOT ANYTHING IN RETURN BUT STILL...... NOW IS NOT THE TIME AND I DON'T THINK WILL NOT TALKING TO U SHOULD BE UR PRIORITY IF U SUPPOSEDLY LOVE UR GIRLFRIEND MORE AND "CARE ABT [HER] SO MUCH"?! 🧐 but i digress.

honestly, i think it's going to snap his world in two. the painting on its own was not inherently romantic, but will's lies are what make it so. had he just given mike the painting and lifted his spirits, it would've been super touching but easily played off as "you're my best friend, of course i feel that way about you!" just like all of their other heart to hearts, like the crazy together one for example. but the fact that he used eleven's name is what makes it suspicious and it'll break his heart, because will lied to him. the first thing we're shown is that will can't and doesn't ever lie to mike even when it's to his advantage and even if the other party members are telling him to.

according to the script, mike knew that eleven didn't need him anymore because he saw it in her eyes. he feels this way and then will goes and fucks it all up by unknowingly giving him all these false ideas that don't apply to el at all. he isn't going to understand why will lied, especially about something that important, and then he's going to feel even worse because he was right!! and yet he listened to will anyway over both his own understanding and eleven's actions and words just because he trusts him that much.

mike tried calling will all the time despite will never calling him back. he tried to crack lighthearted jokes with will at rink-o-mania. he felt like he'd lost will because he was the one doing all the work and that's why he told him "maybe you should've reached out more, but why am i the bad guy?" (paraphrased). and still!! he doesn't let will take the blame when they make up!!! because he loves will that much!! he's the one that patches things up between them and he's the one that's been honest with will even when it was hard!! so for will to not feel like he can give him a painting despite mike literally having his room and his basement covered in his drawings as well as a binder is going to feel like such a punch to the gut in a "wow. i trust you with everything and you can't even trust me with something that used to be our thing? i thought we were best friends, a team, and yet you're lying to me?" like. the tragedy is that will thought he was doing something good for mike and eleven, and he doesn't realize that he just fucked it all up straight to hell. bc then mike is going to be like lol wow so no one really DOES need me cool cool cool love that for me love that my girlfriend AND my best friend both lied to me and felt like they couldn't be open and honest love that 🫠👍

like. it's just such a fascinating plot that can unravel any which way. he's going to be confused for sure. hurt. possibly angry, because we know he lashes out when he's overwhelmed. but he's going to be so hurt and confused. will is his best friend. his home. will never lies. so why after everything.... after everything that they've done, after everything that they've said... after how he treated eleven when she was lying.... why is he lying?

tl;dr homeboy is going to be so hurt and confused in a way he probably hasn't ever been before and it will be Glorious

[newmsies]

Got any backstory for the brothers? Canon or non canon compliant?

YAYYAYAY!THISISGONNABELONGBAREWITHME.

SO. We start in 1885, December 22nd 17:17PM (5:17PM), France in The Hôtel-Dieu, a hospital located on the Île de la Cité in the 4th arrondissement of Paris, on the parvis of Notre-Dame Morris Delancey (i don't fuckin know how old i think he is anymore) was inside the hospital, mourning the loss of his mother, and awaiting the doctor's return. waiting to see if his mother wasn't the only person he lost that day His mother had given birth to his younger sibling, the name not yet decided we'll call him the child (real creative, honestly give me an award) however she had died during the long and painful process of having a fucking watermelon sized useless sack of meat. The child had been born with a few complications, his mother not really caring all too much and continuing to smoke and drink heavily throughout the nine months, left his brother being born with a complication... or five. I'm kidding!.. as far as you know. AHEM. So there Morris was. All alone in The Hôtel-Dieu Hospital (his father's a bastard and left his wife and soon to be two kids at the hospital because fuck you Frank. Fuck him. Fuck Frank.) Waiting for a doctor to tell him he didn't even have a sibling anymore. Of course all of my stories have a happy ending at first so that's not what happened, instead a doctor came out and happily announced to Morris that his sibling was okay blah blah bullshit he went to see Oscar, named him ig and ✨ happily ever after ✨ they move to NY with their dad, Frank is still an ass, fuck Frank, he pretty much abandons them, they're picked up by Snyder and taken to the refuge until Otto Wiesel was found, thier mother's elder brother. They were put in his care and almost immediately were put to work at The World. Remember the Pulitzer father arc tag? Yeah that's now, Oscar immediately latched, literally. Because tall man with leg you can latch onto while you walk, it's fun fuck you (you means Frank, ily /p (this is gonna start going by faster because it's the last day of Hanukkah so my family expects me to do stuff with them)) Pulitzer in his dad era real, teaching More ice how to take apart and put together a printing press as well as teaching English, Wiesel and Pulitzer both decided to send Oscar to school with Pulitzers youngest daughter's Edith and Constance. Morris isn't interested in school but . SO IT'S PRESENT DAY NOW (19/1/23) ANYWAYSS.. He's also attending with David, and Sarah also David plays football and you can not convince me otherwise /hj and now present day, aging Oscar up to 16 from 14 because it's my hc and i get to do that kind of stuff. Association by actor Oscar is John Doe from Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare, AND I SAW MY COUSINS DMS SAYING IT WAS A BAD MOVIE, IT WAS AMAZING THANK YOU VERY MUCH. /J blah blah blah I'm not gonna spoil the movie but Spencer, Carlos, Tracy, Maggie, and Doc are all people in Oscars life now so, yippee! I'm out of ideas for this tbh, i feel like i covered what i wanted to cover in my notes app while wishing i didn't have a grandmother so, i hope you enjoyed the backstory ig and I'm sorry it was so long😭

[kiroonsmoon]

😭, 🌋, 🕷️, 🙈, ✂️, 🔪, 🔫, and 💧 for Fate and Calamity.

Christ that’s a lot you weren’t lying lmao. Tbh I deserve it after all the angst I put your ocs through lmao. Edit; I totally didn’t forget to put a read more on this long post haha idk what your talking about.

😭- What makes them cry? Do they cry easily?

Fate’s definitely a crier, her friends, family or pokemon getting hurt will make her burst into tears. She couldn’t even cry at all at one point after Nancy’s death, she’d cried herself to exhaustion to the point she couldn’t cry anymore. On a less angsty note she definitely the person who cries at the end of happy movies / shows.

Calamity on the other hand doesn’t really cry. Only thing to get him to cry will probably be Fate or someone else close to him dying. Even then that’ll only be after an extreme surge of anger.

🌋- How bad is their temper? is it a slow boil, or a instant explosion?

Fate probably wouldn’t blow up at someone, worse she’ll do is probably say something snarky as a response to her emotions and then feel extremely bad after word. If you actually make Fate angry you done fucked up.

Calamity? Oh yeah he gets angry a lot, especially under high stress he can easily snap at others. If someone was being a dick and that’s why he’s angry said person will probably leave with a broken nose.

🕷️- What is their biggest fear? do they have any irrational / mundane

Both are afraid of poison and steel types to an extent. They’re both fairies after all haha. Calamity is better at controlling it compared to Fate though. Where’s Calamity would probably just eye them suspiciously Fate will straight up scream. She’s gotten somewhat better at handling her fear due to being friends with Venam and Saki. Still, she nearly broke down to tears in Saki’s gym and actually cried in Venam’s rip. She also still screams whenever Venam begins to use her Serviper as a damn knife, but honestly, who wouldn’t be scared when some punk looking girl began using her snake as a knife?

Fate’s biggest fear is wether or not she has to return to her own world or not and leave behind her friends (or if she even can in the first place(. She doesn’t want to leave them but she also doesn’t know if she’s allowed to stay. She also knows Calamity is extremely worried about her. She’s not aware Calamity made his way to Aevium yet. Questions like this haunt her along her journey.

Calamity is biggest fear is the possibility that Fate is dead or badly hurt. Which, has technically happened like twice? Boy is not going to have a good time once he’s learn what his sister’s been through. He’ll probably kill someone tbh.

🙈- Whats a side of your oc that they don't want to show other people?

I don’t particularly know for Fate. Maybe telling the fact she’s a fae to her friends? But honestly they’ve learned she is an otherworldly being with the souls of 7 different people and is stuck in the body of someone who died 4 decades ago. At this point telling them she’s fae everyone will probably just be like “after the shit we’ve been through this is the least shocking thing”.

As for Calamity, maybe about how aggressive and cold he can get when pushed to the breaking point.

✂️- What is the "last straw" for them to cut someone out of their life? how easily do they let go of people?

Fate doesn’t let people go easily, she could honestly very easily fall into a toxic relationship. Last straw would have to be very extreme, like killing a friend or something.

Calamity doesn’t really hold onto people he’s not especially close with. He knows that relationships come and goes with time. He’s more willing to cut off people, if you start disrespecting him or his interest he’ll cut you off quickly.

🔪- How do they react to injury / misfortune befalling their loved ones (significant other, family, friends)? do they put themselves at blame?

Fate would begin to cry (see my first answer) and she would absolutely blame herself. She could be stuck on an island in the arctic and she’ll STILL jump through hoops to blame herself.

As for Calamity… well depends on how the injury / misfortune happened. If it was a natural disaster or mistake (broken bone, landslide, etc). He’d curse himself for not keeping a better eye out. If someone harmed a loved one? They are either dying or barely surviving.

🔫- Do they trust people easily? how easily will they turn their back to someone? have they been backstabbed before? will they betray someone if given an ultimatum?

Fate definitely trust people easily, to much for her own good. It’s one of the reasons she was so quick to accept Ren back (though their friendship definitely helped) despite the fact he’d backstabbed them and work with Team Xen during the whole Pyramid thing. You’d really need to give Fate a good ultimatum to betray someone, like going to destroy the whole world level ultimatum.

Calamity is more cautious, he hasn’t personally been backstabbed yet (major emphasis on the yet given he was found by Clear and Kieran, that shit ain’t gonna end well.) He won’t fully trust people, especially with his goals, if you don’t give him a good reason. Calamity absolutely would betray someone if he needed too but he wouldn’t enjoy it unless he absolutely despises the person he’s betraying.

💧- Random angst headcanon.

I keep telling one of my discord friends this, but if it’s your oc it ain’t a headcanon, it’s canon baby!!

Fate sings songs to herself that Calamity used to sing to her when she was younger when she’s upset or missing him </3.

The reason Calamity is so protective of Fate is because their parents died soon after her birth (their mother dying due to birth complications and their father sickness) and asked him to protect her.

[theodoraflowerday]

im listening to PFA/FFV for the first time in like a month and it's 1am so these are scattered/random thoughts, again it's 1am

when she says "nothing cuts like a mother" FUCKKKKK it gets me every time. if this is what she wants (which, she's said it a lot that she does want to be a mother) then she's gonna be the coolest mom (and I know this bc she practically raised me too so that future child is gonna have to share)

"if you know love you best prepare to grieve" hits so much harder now than it did in 2020. I didn't know how hard real loss felt like. ugh.

okay..... creepin. i genuinely thought it was about the bats in her bat house (and that concept made her laugh #noticed) but if this song really IS about B then jdkgjslgjsljdjfjdkf hayley's such an asshole, this song is SO BAD AJDLSJFLSJFLSJF like "yeah I know T's like the greatest human in the world but the memory's gonna have to be enough" which like..... bruh. AND THEN FOLLOW THAT WITH SUDDEN DESIRE SJFKSLFJDLGKDLGK LIKE NOT ONLY IS HE NOT GETTING BACK W YOU BUT ITS BECAUSE HE'S WITH ME NOW, HERE, HAVE A SEX SONG

tracklist goals ily hayley

speaking of sudden desire, rmr when i was walking thru a bridge when i first heard "everywhere i am it sticks close like a friend, just like him" and I. stopped. and stood in the middle of a random bridge for like a minute processing that she meant taylor. like And That Was The Moment I Knew. I had to try and focus cutting open dead bodies knowing that she meant taylor and I couldn't talk about it because being a tayley was still frowned upon until two years ago...... suffered more than jesus tbh

"dyed my hair blue to match my lips" LYRIC GENIUS

"sorry, I could be the bigger person except I'm too small" is the FUNNIEST possible way to explain your pettiness

I just remembered dousing her wedding doc martens in cement in the dead horse music video......... nvm, hayley is the one who suffered more than jesus

like? "I got what I deserved, I was the other woman first" FIRST OF ALL! no. you were groomed. fuck you pinhead bitch i hope you never stop suffering. second of all 'other woman' YOU WERE SEVENTEEEEEEEEEN YOU WERE A *CHILD*

wherever pinhead bitch is, i hope he gets kidney stones.

remember when I got a rose/lotus/violet/iris tattooed to connect with my femininity and then i ended up being nonbinary/agender/a blob? i mean, I still like my femininity, I don't wanna get rid of it, but in retrospect that was like my last desperate attempt at remaining cisgender dlgjdlfkdlgjdlfjdlfjlf

and i will not return to where i once was, well i can break through the earth, come out soft and wild :(

i spent the weekend at home again :( drawing circles on the floor :( trying to keep myself from hurting :( don't know why anymore :( I just wanna talk about it :( I know I freaked you out :( I just wanna talk about it :( sorry for freaking out :( :( :(

so the way I listen to PFA/FFV is like, PFA through why we ever, then all of FFV, and then resume PFA from pure love through crystal clear. which means FFV is about to hit ahahahaha I need therapy

bro, first thing to go starts and like, two sentences in and im already crying skflsjfldjf

"why do memories glow the way real moments don't" to the entirety of crave....... picture me looking for my car (cause a homie's going thru a lot)

"and I should forget but I love what's left" dude :(

I always forget how violent my limb is. both because of the imagery (like "if you leave you're literally ripping out one of my limbs, that's how vital you are to me") and because of the more direct message ("you look so gentle and innocent but look at what you're doing to me and look how im bleeding out" and also "if you're gonna leave me then have the guts to do it right even if it kills me, don't patronize me") like...... hayley williams you are a fuckin wonder

I don't live for you, I live for me 😃 if only that were true, if only I could prove that on my own I'm worthy 😟

THE TROUBLE IS THE WAY YOU STICK TO ANY PART OF ME THAT REMAINS INTACT

"but if I pull the plug, it isn't only me that I'm holding back" vs "and all the ways I'd keep you safe, I keep you safe from me" bro i shouldn't be doing this at 1am before my period

"all I ever had to say about love is a sad song" NOT ANYMORE YOU DON'T OHOHOHOHOHOHO

over those hills is usually when i remember that hayley did all the instruments on FFV too. like she did the whole thing. she's fucking insane.

"and I'm pretty sure you don't miss the way I put all my demons on display to your pretty music" fuck. FUCK

ONE MORE TIME. PLAY ME SOMETHING. I WON'T SING. ONE MORE TIME. PLAY ME SOMETHING. ONE MORE TIME. IM LISTENING.

good grief to me is the saddest breakup song (not the saddest overall but breakup wise def yes) because the great majority of their relationship is based on the music they made together so losing that had to also be horrifying. like she couldn't fully express herself without his music. that's so depressing.

wait on is the saddest song overall btw. it's definitely wait on. it hasn't even started and I'm already tearing up.

seriously, good grief > wait on > KYRH > inordinary > HYD is an attack from every goddamn side. saddest five song run in history.

"keep you right here where the line is, on my fingers, on the surface" I cannot imagine how much it took for hayley to move past all that absurd amount of trauma. like I can't. i could never (i still haven't)

inordinary is my favorite song though. it took me, uh, four years? to admit this but im pretty sure this is my favorite song ever. this is the first time i am ever admitting this btw.

something about pleading to be seen as the most important person and then going through all your life and all the moments you were extraordinary... and using inordinary instead of extraordinary... idk man it just gets me. it gets my former gifted child ass deep in my heart

something something taylor york's absolute inability to take a goddamn compliment despite being the best human being to have ever existed something something

(i got a public commendation at work two days ago and i am still reeling from how awkward I felt so like. I get it)

"I wonder if you ever quit like you wanted, I bet you did" lmao no he fucking didn't. my man's lungs must be charred by this point. sending him that "why smoking's bad for you" book so he can break down in my arms zayn style

I can't imagine how insane it must've felt for T to hear no use I just love you. like if I were him (and knowing his insecure ass) I'd also wonder if she's just latching on to me bc I'm so close to her and convenient so hearing this song must've been like "ah. I've been an idiot"

god I wanna interview them on their ENTIRE relationship timeline i need to know what happened last night outside his house I need to know the whole breakup timeline I wanna know EVERYTHINGGGGGJLGHKLGKG

oh I forgot the full body cringe I get from "not just the friction of our skin" like those are my parents you're talking about

also pure love going "oh I have to open up huh" is HILARIOUS after FFV which is an entire album of H's deepest saddest most depressing thoughts and experiences like.... she opened up all right

the one thing that excites me deeply about fine print is the idea that if hayley releases another solo album she'll do a solo tour and I'll hear all of these live

I can't believe people heard taken and they STILL didn't catch on that she was with taylor. like maybe I am super biased but bro......... you have to be so fr

MIGHTVE TAKEN THIRTY YEARS BUT I WAS ALWAYS ON MY WAY TO HIMMMM AAAAAAAA

SUGAR ON THE RIM IS FOR THE GAYS AAAAAYEEEEEE

"do you taste the shame when you lick my wounds" is an insane lyric tho

god, sugar on the rim is the best PFA song and no one can tell me nothin

"I'm alive in spite of me" is also a beast of a lyric actually. that sugar on the rim > watch me while i bloom > crystal clear is also an insane 3 song run

hey remember how crystal clear is so important to hayley that she wrote a reference to it into liar

and it's important because taylor decided to surprise her with the single most romantic thing a person could do for another person

"I won't give into the fear" I'm gonna die perhaps

god hayley please keep the solo stuff coming please

AND NOW YOU'RE PUMPING AIR TO MY LUNGS THIS DONT FEEL ANYTHING LIKE SINKING IN FACT NO MATTER HOW DEEP I GO INTO YOU IT LOOKS LIKE THE WATER IS CRYSTAL CLEAR AAAAAA

god

also remember how hayley was like "stop. TAYLOR APPRECIATION TIME" on the US tour and did liar and crystal clear back to back? absurd

ffv always depresses me but crystal clear brings me back like ah yes. they're happy now. good for them

now I need to beat depression too. find the love of my life perhaps? Who knows

[amlao]

Sometimes, having rejection sensitive dysphoria and being self-aware is like being secretly evil.

If I sense a modicum of distance between my partner and me.

If their replies seem shorter.

If I feel like I expose vulnerability and passion to them and the energy isn't met or exceeded.

I want to inflict the emotional pain and white hot humiliation that I feel onto them, tenfold.

"I hate you," I want to text them, "I never liked you. I never wanted to be with you,"

No, too obvious that you're hurt and their actions affect you, I think. It's better for them to think you lost interest and are gaining interest in someone else. Tell them goodnight and stay up on social media so it shows you're active. You know him. His first thought will be that you're taking to someone else.

Regain control.

Make him suffer.

But I know I can't do that. Not to Shawn.

Purely pragmatically, we have a trip planned. I bought plane tickets. I have nights in the cabin reserved.

But beyond that, my love for him and conscience always win out.

He doesn't know I'm like this. Not to this degree. He feels an emotional safety with me that he's never felt in his nearly 38 years of life. He trusts me with his heart. I make him feel intimately seen and known.

It's not fair. He's done so much inner work and healing to be able to love and trust like he does.

I want to tell him I hate him until I imagine his face the one time I tried to leave him, genuinely sad and confused. Knelt over, softly crying at my feet. In that moment it was clear that the scared, abandoned little boy of his childhood is still in there somewhere.

And I absolutely cannot bring myself to hurt him.

And I wonder to myself, is it so bad that you brought him food and medicine when he was sick? Is it so bad that you gushed your heart out about how much you love and miss him? Is it so bad that he was enthralled with the anime you showed him, but you were more enthralled with nestling your head into his stomach and giving him gentle little kisses all over his hands and arms?

Does he not deserve that, even if he's probably feeling sick, withdrawn, and moody?

Did he not get a vasectomy for you, just so you could enjoy intimacy without taking birth control?

Did he not say the other day, mid-disc golf session, 'Hey, you mentioned something you like the other day and I didn't get a chance to write it down. I normally write down everything you like. Do you remember what it was?'

Did he not write a poem about you and post it publicly, comparing his love to you to worship?

Did he not say just last night that he swears he loves you more than anyone has ever loved another person?

Did he not watch AEW the other night, hear one of the wrestlers talk about rejection sensitive dysphoria, and put together with very few clues that that's what you have?

Emotional availability is an ebb and flow. He's there for you when you're withdrawn and moody after work. You can't expect that and not be willing to occasionally give it.

But what if he's losing interest? What if he doesn't want to have engaging conversations and be passionate anymore? What if it's almost a year in, I'm a given, and he's bored and complacent now? Just like every other relationship where I've been always love-bombed, but never loved.

You've think it's the end of the relationship every time he's been slightly withdrawn, and he always returns to baseline once he feels better. Him feeling sick, overworked, or having dad problems are always a catalyst for him not being as demonstrative and affectionate as normal. And tbh, even his withdrawn self is intensely attentive and consistent. You're just picking up on micro-nuances because you don't want to get hurt.

Okay. I guess I'll chill.