#tbh i am really such a big fan of philosophy

[astrxealis]

lowkey just got a therapy session from my philosophy teacher ohmy

[fioras-resolve]

I beat Virtue's Last Reward, thoughts under the cut

-Huh?

-Okay, not huh as in "I don't understand," I get it fully, I mean "Why was this the ending?" I guess I'll have to play Zero Time Dilemma to find out huh.

-This is definitely the kinda thing I'm gonna have to spend several days processing, similar to 999

-I'm thinking a bit about how the ending of a thing can overshadow so much else in a story, like even though I've experienced the rest of the story, I'm struck by just the ending right now.

-I think all-in-all the main thing I'll say is that this game got me to feel things, it got me to love, to loathe, to betray and be betrayed. I don't think a game has done that this well for me in a good while. It's inspiring tbh. Did I mention I'm a game developer? This will definitely influence my work moving forward.

-I cannot fucking IMAGINE playing this game in 2012 and having to wait 4 years for Zero Time Dilemma to come out. Y'all were hanging on that cliff so long, and it was very possible you'd never get up. As an Ace Attorney fan living on hiatus brain, I know the feeling, but also GOD, at least Ace Attorney had a consistent flow of games when I was most into it.

-I am... mixed, on how this game handles returning characters from 999. The big thing right now is This Is Not My Akane. She's basically unrecognizable, even in her past state where she looks the same. I was thinking during that whole ending, "Okay, but why did it have to be AKANE? She's been through this so many times and probably has six layers of PTSD from the thing, so why would she ever agree to this?" And it feels like the answer is a kind of puzzle-box solution that I find really strange all things considered. Like, yes, 999's ending was a mindfuck, but it also genuinely pulled at the heartstrings because like. Yeah, you were saving Akane, and this is someone that we'd built a connection to both as a character and as a player.

-I guess the thing there is that like, that kind of heartstrings ending is a single route of 999, but it's all over VLR. The ending feels like an answer to the mystery, but not to the themes, or the question of "why does this game exist?"

-It feels like Uchikoshi wanted to follow up on the cult success of 999 by making something Bigger, an even more complex mystery with even more paths and even more moving parts. And he got so invested in making this puzzle box cohere that the game ends up sidelining emotional resonance even when it's trying not to.

-I've been talking to a friend of mine who played it a while ago and felt physically ill after the ending, and like. First of all, yeah, different people just have different tolerable levels of bullshit. But also, I feel like plural systems like myself innately have more of a resistance to it because our minds are already fucky enough. Legit, during the reveal of the swap I was thinking "Oh so he dissociated for 45 years."

-Sidenote, Zero Escape feels intensely gnostic, from what little I know of gnosticism. It feels like these games are trying to use science as a conduit/justification for a philosophy I'm not sure if I vibe with. But I can vibe with it for the purpose of storytelling.

-I think I like VLR more than 999? Like, VLR is definitely playing with bigger ideas and following up on 999 in ways I really appreciate. And in general th--

-Midway through typing the previous thing I realized, holy shit, I have a similar relationship to this game that I do to Final Fantasy XIII-2. They're both sequels that follow up on their previous games with blanket improvements to both story and gameplay, but both have endings that leave me confused as to what these games are actually doing besides filling in plot before the next game. And yes, both VLR and XIII-2 are doing amazing things in the beginning and the middle, but the answer to "what is this leading to" for both seems to be "play the next game, fucker."

-I think the thing I'm pissed about is the justification given for the AB game. Like, the mechanic inherently carries interesting themes about trust, self-interest, game theory, etc. The reveals of what everyone else voted are some of the most gripping moments I've experienced in video games. I was ready for this to be going somewhere with these ideas! And then the reveal is that the reason the game was constructed like this was to give you more moments of choice to time travel through. And like, okay, fine, this game's got its higher level stuff about choice and agency and all that, that all works! But for the Ambidex Game to be primarily about making the player make the exact right choices to lead to the perfect ending, it's... Ugh! I thought the point was to explore all these other possibilities, that's why all the different endings!

-I need more time to process this game, but right now my take is this: Virtue's Last Reward is an amazing game until you realize what it is. It's a game that can raise your emotions high and get you truly fucked up. But as you play more of it, it reveals its true focus is this almost mechanical construction of plot. This construction is beautiful in its own way, but it's not what I come to a game like this for. Despite being a game designer who talks a lot about game mechanics and systems, I care so much about story. I want to get attached to characters, I want to see a narrative unfold, I want to have my heartstrings pulled. And the game seems too sure of itself to remember to pull it off.

-Or maybe this is the wrong way of looking at it? Maybe I'm criticizing what it isn't, rather than appreciating what it is. This game isn't trying to be 999 and failing, it's trying to be Virtue's Last Reward and succeeding. And I'm still along for this ride.

[mindrole]

Yo, I somewhat lurk your blog because you make very fun and interesting posts!! Your takes are nice to read and your art is very nice; I simply avoid to reblog because I had this...vibe? I guess? That you wanted your posts to remain a little more hidden away.

That doesn't change the fact that I surely can't be the only one who lurks but certainly loves your work!!!

first of all, thank you for the kind words!!

tbh i kind of just rattled the post off and went to do stuff so i forgot about it, i didn't expect a response, so im super flattered!! (and a little embarassed, perhaps bashful)

its quite kind of you to send this...

the issue of reblogs: i dont mind at all!! as you may have noticed there are two or three posts i have locked reblogs for.. those are obviously NG (mostly either "my interpretation changed drastically so im disowning it" or "ill go back and fix it (<-art)") but everything else is A-OK ❤️ if i don't want something to be reblogged i will lock it. (usually i will leave in the tags or edit the post with the reason)

i love when my stuff is shared around!! and getting nice nonnies like you is always a lot of fun. to be honest i think because those dried up for a while i got a stir crazy

really i'm like, a very sociable person, i like to bounce ideas off of others even if its indirect and even i get really neurotic about stuff. so i read every tag and interaction with a big goofy smile on my face. i like feeling seen, and most people would not disagree that it's nice. so it's like this... i am... a huge geek

i want to be less sheepish about posting in the main tag too. the initial bad experience i had (and caused myself, i don't wanna deny that) can't really be helped anymore, but eventually i wanna be brave about it. i wanna shake off the weird mindset of "i've already ruined my shot so i should stop posting in the tag, everyone probably already has a big ❌️ on me anyway." (if someone doesn't want to see my stuff they probably already have me blocked... so its fine!!! or they can just scroll past. im not taking up any space i shouldn't. i have to learn this!!!)

there are a lot of things i don't tag because either i'm afraid my sense of humor is too esoteric and/or mean spirited or because it is a junk doodle (not in a self deprecating way, its just not something i wanna put in the tag). also cuz i post a lot, it is kind of spam-y. recently i got an ask asking why i hate httr... of course i don't!!! but i love making fun of that baby man so much. so im also wary of maybe, i might upset someone without that context and they think i'm openly posting character hate. that kind of thing, i worry TOO much

(don't worry, that ask was really funny, even if it scrambled my brain a bit)

i think a lot of people who might enjoy the blog also may bounce after reading my pinned and seeing that i don't tag spoilers. that's ok, i hope someone translates the interlude soon because somehow even in its short duration i love it a lot. com is coming out soon too!!! eventually the stock of those characters will rise and they will gain more fans and they will come across my blog and go, woah, this crazy person drew so much art prerelease!!!!. azuma's stock... will also rise!!!

at the end of the day my philosophy is that fan works are things we share out of love and passion, loving the works of others and making are like a symbiotic relationship, one cannot exist without the other. seeing other people's stuff makes me wanna make too. that kind of thing. this applies to both fan work and original work actually.

sorry you got subjected to my mentally ill ramble... im really thankful to have gotten this ask genuinely.. it super made my day

i hope you continue to enjoy the blog ^^

[dex-xe]

I’ve made Spotify playlists inspired by each of the ghosts and I’ve made these little written pieces to talk about them. if you wanna read them, please go ahead - if not then enjoy the music!!

This is the Captain's playlist:

Moonlight Serenade - Glenn Miller

This is one of my favourite like old WWII style songs, I just think it’s beautiful and really great to dance slow to (at some point in my life I will dance with my husband or wife to this song in our little kitchen, and then my life will finally be complete). It’s in Doctor Who (in The Empty Child) and Jack and Rose dance to it in front of Big Ben, like it’s a really great scene in one of the best episodes of Dr Who ever. So good and a great WWII song.

Soldier - Trixie Mattel

Yes, I know this is about Katya’s issues and everything that happened with that but like it is also like very accurate to the Captain’s arc. Like “soldier, take your time” is like yeah?? I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I don’t believe the Captain is even remotely aware of the fact he’s gay cause like I don’t reckon he understands love or the fact that he’s got feelings like that, I don’t think he knows so yeah take your time to figure it out yeah, Captain.

We’ll Meet Again - Vera Lynn

This song seems to have taken a new meaning in pandemic times but Havers leaving Button House and (I assume) never returning but like the Captain staying at Button House completely in the dark as to what happened to Havers and therefore living with the possibility of Havers returning.

HEAVEN - Troye Sivan & Betty Who

Obviousssss, but this song was such an integral part in me figuring shit out about my life. Like, I was 14 and a massive Troye fan when it came out and (growing up in a working class, strict religious, small town family) the music video was literally my first understanding of the fight for queer rights. I knew about LGBTQ+ identities and identified as a variety of queer labels at the time I was completely unaware of the entire struggle that had come before me and seeing photos and footage of this fight for the first time was O.o Anyway, I'll stop talking about myself and say that I’m incredibly happy with the hc of the Captain trying to learn a bit more about queer history in his journey to accept himself.

In Our Bedroom After the War - Stars

The poor Captain, let the man love I beg. I have so much love for stories and hcs of the Captain being sweet and being in love like pls ily.

Achilles Come Down - Gang of Youths

This might actually kill his gay little soul but by good it would be worth it!! I’m gonna go off on a bit of a philosophy tangent but what were ya expecting from me honestly: the sample used in Achilles Come Down is an extract from a 1942 essay by Albert Camus who, alongside Kierkegaard and Nietzsche and the like, wrote about the concept of ‘the absurd’ which is a tricky concept but a reallyyyyyy simplified version of it is basically the idea that humans constantly search for a meaning and purpose for life and the universe but the universe does not provide answers to that which causes human distress. Basically, what I mean to say like isn’t that concept just so Captain?? Like he searches for meaning in war and can’t see life beyond the war because that provides him purpose, you know?? But yeah, it’s a banging song and I’m sorry about the tangent.

Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy - Queen

Ya saw this one coming :P Well he just is a good old fashioned lover boy so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

William, It Was Really Nothing - The Sm*ths

Even just the name being right is like *chefs kiss*. Yes there are lines in this song that are just shit and reallyyyyyyy show the views of M*rrisey and his general shitty behaviours.

It’s a Long Way to Tipperary - John McCormack

It’s just a fun song.

You’re Somebody Else - flora cash

LGBTQ+ staple really, ik it’s about being trans but I wanted to include it because of the recent Ben Willbond interview when he talks about how he’s interested in the contrast of a confused authoritative figure. Like the Captain is such a contrast and I love that in characters.

It’s Been a Long, Long Time - Harry James

Like I’ve said repeatedly, I wanted at least a little bit of time specific music for each of them I could. So yeah there’s a few for the Captain, WWII music is such a vibe tbh.

The Boxer - Simon & Garfunkel

I’ve always interpreted the song as being about loneliness and well, Captain my boy that you. Like he’s literally surrounded by people 24/7 but is so very alone. When the others are all watching tv in Redding Weddy and the Captain is just sat in the window watching for Havers is just so pretty and I think it’s really telling of the relationship he has with the others.

The Arrow and the Aim - Nadia Reid

Pretty pretty song, the voice is *mwah* but that’s irrelevant.

Ramblings of a Lunatic - Bears In Trees

Okay but like yes. The Captain is so alone like despite being around people literally all the time - not being able to escape you might say. Is he aware he’s different? Like what goes on in his head, will we ever know?? Cap, you gotta start talking to people, man. You gotta open up cause you will go crazy, Ik it’s been 70 years fella but seriously you’re gonna go crazy soon.

Death with Dignity - Sufjan Stevens

Just a beautiful song, and yeah with the Captian being the way he is and so focused on the war and military and the idea of "death with dignity" is pretty prolific. Given that we're fairly sure the Captain never saw any action, would he be considered to have died with dignity?? Maybe, maybe not idk.

I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major General - Arthur Sullivan & John Reed

That one scene where Alison is trying to sleep and the Captain is just sat beside her bed singing this. Like that’s so funny XD It’s his little head bob as he sings like that’s so good.

Kiss Me Goodnight, Sergeant Major - Arthur Askey

I remember my nan had an Askey record and she used to play it all the time and this always made me laugh cause 5 year old me couldn’t get the image of a really strong and tough soldier being all motherly and yeah I just wanted to include it :D

Teddy Boy - Paul McCartney

The Captain’s name is Teddy, I take no debate on this. Just the idea of the Captain’s backstory, like a childhood backstory for the Captain genuinely makes me cry. I know a lot of people have shared their stories of their interpretation of the Captain’s childhood and they’re all sad and I love them all :’) (Specifically a big fan of Operation Keep Calm on AO3 and what they’ve done with the Captain’s character and story, 10/10 would recommend but it’s not finished and I really hope it is at some point ily).

O Captain! My Captain! - The Static Shift

Just an interesting song, yeah? “I believe I’m in my prime”/“In my bally prime”, you get it XD

John My Beloved - Sufjan Stevens

I love this song (no I’ve never seen the film and no don’t really intend to) It’s just sweet, you know, and the religious elements etc yeah that’s good.

[shmreduplication]

i saw The Batman this week, it’s a lot better as a film than as a batman film.  My brother, who went to film school, described it as the best batman movie (that he’s seen) since The Dark Knight (which is to say it’s better than The Dark Knight Rises because he hasn’t seen Lego Batman or BvS or Justice League)

The Batman was a really weird movie and I don’t understand why it’s even a batman movie? like Birdman was about a has-been who’s biggest role was obviously batman, but they called it birdman instead of batman.  i guess this is kinda the opposite because it was clearly not batman that they called batman and birdman was batman but not called batman

idk that I’ve read any pure batman-and-no-one-else comics but I have read a lot of batfam comics and the movie reminded me of some Rucka (the guy who wrote The Old Guard comic) story where batman is in a dark room by himself and just looking around, detectiving.  Now idk that I’ve ever read an interview with Rucka where he says it outright but based on his other works it’s clear that one of Rucka’s writing philosophies is to use the minimum amount of dialogue as possible and iirc no thought bubbles.  This works in comics because 

it’s a static visual-textual medium.  If batman is just looking around a panel, I am going to spend more time looking around that panel.  Or if I’m bored I can choose to read just the text and skim the images.

I can put down a comic whenever I want but even if I read it in one sitting, a TPB is an hour to read

this doesn’t work as well in movies because 

it’s a dynamic visual-audio medium.  I can only look at a frame as long as it’s on screen but even if I could pause the movie, it’s fucking dark!

the movie is so fucking long, I don’t want to spend extra time on any scene because I know the movie is already too fucking long

also can we talk about how catwoman and jim gordon were just robin stand-ins?  It took less than a year for batman’s creators to give him a sidekick and their justification is that even sherlock has watson. And they were right.  As I already mentioned, I’m not a batman fan but I’m a big batfam fan so that’s my bias but it does seem like the film-makers have figured it out too and that’s why Jim was such a dumbass in this movie, he was put into the Robin position and that totally ruined his ability to fill the Jim position as one of batman’s adoptive dads.  And any time jim wasn’t there, selina was.  

maybe this isn’t fair but tbh I find it hack when writers start talking about the lineage or secret family members of a character because the story is reliant on the heaviest of retcons and implies that free will is an illusion because the only thing that matters is your relatives.  And outside of the story it implies that the writer is running out of idears.  The middle step between a writer having new interesting exciting compelling stories for the main character and hack writing about their family members is a beloved side character getting grievously injured.  In this robinless story about batman, can you guess who has a near-death experience? yeah.  But can you guess who’s family history gets revealed?  You’re wrong if you think it’s batman because it’s actually batman twice (both parents) AND catwoman AND carmine falcone AND the riddler.  Like c’mon man save something for the sequel

my last big critique is really dumb and it’s only because I really do love dc at the bottom of my heart but like.  batman lost in this movie, but batman never loses.  he never loses.  So based on that I couldn’t tell if they were setting up a sequel or intentionally shutting down all talk of a sequel.  The only sequel I could imagine would pull from the No Man’s Land storyline where gotham gets hit with a massive earthquake and FEMA just isolates it because it’s an evil crime cesspit now.  But the strength of the storyline was the batfam (Cassandra Cain, my bb girl, gets introduced in No Man’s Land) and I can’t imagine the story happening with only batman.  Then again, Thor Ragnarok was based on Planet Hulk, a story that Thor does not appear in at all, so if they bring in Taika Waititi then I’ll watch whatever sequel they gave this pos movie

ok the good stuff: everything with the riddler was p good, I like the lesson that batman learned, I thought it was funny that the musical theme is ava maria and that song was just played at various speeds thru-out the film like what they did with inception (the inception theme is a slowed-down version of the song that they play for people when they put them to sleep because dream time is slower than real time), just watch it streaming so you can pause the movie and pretend it’s a batman ripoff instead of batman and then I think it’ll be p good

[meruz]

Hey I can't find this in your FAQ so sorry if it's been asked before! Your traditional art is so stunning and vibrant, would you happen to have any brand recommendations for people trying to get into painting? Maybe specific gouche paint, brushes, papers etc. Thank you so much and have a nice day!

no one has ever asked me this before because this is like the first time ive started putting traditional art on my blog! LOL umm to be honest I’m very far from pro on this front, most of my knowledge comes from a handful of classes I didn’t pay a lot of attention to and lots of youtube videos but here’s my recommendations:

Paint

A lot of my paints are winsor newton designer’s gouache because this is what my teachers made me buy when I was a freshman at art school LOL. it’s definitely kind of pricey, I think it’s like $10.99 for a tube which I was NOT a fan of as a college student and is still not my favorite thing now. But they’re overall worth the price if you really want solid, high quality opaque paints. Though I’ve heard their student grade winton paints are decent as well?

I’ve heard less good things about brands like reeves and artist loft... but I think turner is alright? m.graham is supposedly great.

I also bought a set of holbein acryla gouache when it was discounted on amazon a while ago and have found it very solid. One thing you have to know about acryla gouache is that it uses a binder more like acrylic paint (hence the name acryla). Paints are made out of pigment + binder and most gouache is essentially watercolor but with extra pigment/chalk to make it opaque - the binder is water soluble so these paints can be reactivated with water. Acryla gouache is NOT water soluble when dry and it dries pretty fast so it’s overall less flexible. But other than that you can pretty much treat it like any other gouache and I find they keep a little better too, less likely to get gunky or stiff.

All paint brands have a handful of starter packs which are slightly discounted but if you want to build your own starting palette I’d say get a warm and cool tint of all the primaries, get a lot of white (working with gouache somehow involves a lot of mixing with white lol), and get a brown, maybe like burnt sienna or raw umber for underpaintings. No need to get a black, mixing darks builds character, looks better, and having one out of the tube can become a crutch. If you find a white watercolor paint tube that’s cheaper you can buy that instead of a gouache white. Again, they have pretty much the same make-up. And white paints are generally opaque enough that the composition between gouache/watercolor shouldn’t matter too much.

I’ve never used a block tray of gouache. Like those paints that come in little blocks in a tray? I know there's a bunch out there but I’ve never used them and I don’t know anyone else who does so I have no opinion on them.

Brushes

I’ve been kind of exploring this myself. I recently bought a cheap set of flat brushes off amazon LOL and I like them a lot?

Theyre probably not The Best or anything but I found flat brushes suit gouache plein air painting really well because its suits the kind of color blocking shapes I want to make. Also these had the right handle length to fit in my painting bag. That’s like the main reason I chose them tbh.

Honestly a lot of my art supplies philosophy is “give it a whirl with whatever you have lying around and when it feels like you're missing something specific keep an eye out for when that stuff goes on sale”

Paper

GOTTA BE HONEST I’m using cheapo paper. Because I’m making these paintings half for study and half to give my parents something to hang in the living room.

You can actually see some of them curling in on themselves here lol. If you’ve seen the sketchbook I’m holding in any of my pics of paintings it’s one of the canson mixed media books.

and its FINE... I wouldn’t necessarily recommend it lol.. I like that the texture is very fine but it doesn’t hold a lot of water and definitely distorts. Also I keep ripping off the surface with painters tape but that might just be on me. Oh buy artist tape. Just because its so satisfying to have clean edges.

I’m using painters tape instead of artist tape because I found it in the basement but if youre buying supplies buy artist tape because it’ll be kinder to your paper. 

SPEAKING OF PAPER.

I guess anything heavyweight for watercolor/mixed media will be fine? some people like a lot of texture but if you’re painting small you might want to avoid it and pick hot press over cold press. Honestly I feel like a lot of this is going to depend on what your specific needs are.. how big do you want the paper to be.. do you want a sketchbook or would you rather carry around loose paper... etc. Maybe go to an art store and touch all their paper. I feel like its easier to understand sizes and texture when you’re seeing it physically.

When I go on a trip, I normally bring a softcover heavyweight stillman & birn sketchbook because I tend to obliterate metal spiral books in my bag LOL. Also I don’t rip any pages out of my travel sketchbooks so I don’t need perforation or anything. Also they go on sale a lot in the art store I go to haha. I havent used gouache extensively in it but it takes inkwash/maker pretty well.

On the higher end, I personally haven’t used it that much but my friends who do traditional illustration professionally swear by arches watercolor paper. It comes in lots of different sizes.

Whatever you use, if you really want it to lie flat you’re gonna want to soak and stretch it on a board but I don’t bother with that because I am lazy.

Palette

You didn’t ask about palette but I’m taking the opportunity to be a shill because I personally use a sta-wet palette and I LOVE it.

One of the biggest frustrations about gouache for me was how quickly it dries after it leaves the tube. And even if you can reawaken it with water its not quite the same? and consistency is SO important when it comes to applying gouache so I don’t want to be over-watering my paint.. ugh. Anyways, I don’t have to worry about that with the sta-wet palette and really its been a game changer for me. sta-wet is a brand name but there are a bunch of other wet palettes not by masterson that I’m sure are just as good. I mean, it’s just a box with a sponge basically, that can’t be hard to replicate.

The only thing - and I personally have not had this issue but I have friends who have - is that if you leave it wet for too long it could grow mold? or a mouldy smell? Just wash your palette with soap and don’t leave it for weeks on end and it should be fine.

If you’re not feeling a palette that’s always moist, the best palette I used in school was a simple glass palette. you can buy one I guess but it’s so easy to DIY, I think the way we did it in school is getting a piece of glass and mdf from the hardware store cut the same size and then duct taped them together on the sides so it wouldn’t be sharp.

costs like nothing.

what else...get a palette knife if you like to mix paints? and like to save paints... mixing with the brush means you lose paint in your brush in the mixing process so a knife is a good way to maximize that process. I don’t use it much but sometime if I have to mix a lot of one color I’ll pull it out of my bag.

I don’t know anything about easels, I sit on the dirty ground like a gremlin when I paint.

Ok yeah that’s all the supplies tips I have. hope some of it was helpful! always try to save money with art supplies, I think. Especially if you’re just starting out - it’s less stressful to use cheap supplies too lol. Good luck! Happy painting!

[telaraneas]

I’m sending you an analysis ask!! My ask is… Dave! What I always wonder about dave is how he became such a fan favorite among the young fanbase all those years ago. I feel like my original reading of Dave has been heavily influenced by the fandom activity surrounding him at the time (he was the 2012 hs fandom’s #1 sadboy). As a relative latecomer to the fandom, what were your reactions to Dave? And how do you feel today’s fans view him?

OH BOY DAVE!!!

yeah i remember he was a big fan favorite, because this was one of the things you knew if you just EXISTED in tumblr around 2012, even if you knew nothing about homestuck you jsut saw a billion fanarts of that one kid with the sunglasses. but really, "relatively latecomer" relative nothing, i am a brand new baby fan latest of latecomers and i will happily give you my Dave Experience

i can't speak for how other modern fans view him, but for me personally, honestly i have to say i think i really didn't Get Him until late act6; which isn't to say he wasn't an interesting character before then, but that almost everything interesting about him went over my head on the first read.

i think my issue was partly that i was taking his facade mostly at face value and that i didn't really get WHERE his angst was coming from in the ocassions it popped up. like.. it's not that i bought into the idea that he's this cool ironic guy who doesnt afraid of anything, but i guess mostly his typing style and sense of humor were a bit too true-to-life for what the kind of person who thinks "ironic enjoyment of shitty things, too cool to actually care about anything, troll the shit out of anyone who engages with you honestly" is peak comedy actually speaks like, which made him kind of an unpleasant presence to me at the beginning; knowing he was definitely using that irony to cover up something didn't really help, because that's just universally true of basically everyone who's Like That, and that doesnt make them any less insufferable

the thing about dave strider is that he actually keeps up the disaffected cool kid act for a looooong time, and with so much going on and so many characters and stories to think about, i never spared him as much thought as i could have... until act6 happened, and dave was revealed to be a massive dork, and that SERIOUSLY changed my understanding of him as a character. like it's really hilarious how much his early arc persona totally falls apart when you take away the comfort of text-based communication. the addition of body language and the loss of the fractions of a second to formulate answers REALLY change his dialogue and how he reads as a character in ways that are subtle but were kind of shocking to me when i was reading it

like, for example i never had the patience for his long random tangents in chatlogs because i got the feeling he was doing them because he was just that sure that whatever he was on was THAT witty and funny, or alternatively, NOT that witty or funny, which is why he went on those tangents to be ~ironic~ or whatever, and tbh i have adhd and not enough patience to sit and read his diatribes

eeexcept, late comic dave recontextualizes the HELL out of this by revealing that no, HE KINDA REALLY DOES JUST GO ON TANGENTS FOR NO REASON 100% GENUINELY AND ITS NOT A CALCULATED PSEUDO-IRONIC THING AT ALL which makes his lenghty rambling read VERY differently

that sort of stuff. like, i was fully prepared for the irony to be a cover for someone who does genuinely care about things- but i was NOT prepared for the CONCEPT OF IRONY ITSELF to be basically the only thing about his demeanor that wasn't mostly genuine, whether dave himself realized it or not. dave has been a riot on rereads, hes like a totally different character with hindsight

on the topic of Dave Angst in specific, i have to admit- the whole thing is actually VERY subdued before late act6 unless you're actually looking for it and paying attention to dave as a character; and while i imagine this was a given for many readers at the time, who already liked him as a character and were reading and thinking about each update as it came out, to me as someone blitzing through the comic at a stage where things were starting to get complex, i COMPLETELY missed major moments that inform his problems, philosophy, worldview, fears, and general arc

because of this, a lot of the major moments where dave is actually OBVIOUSLY distressed or upset, left me mostly asking "hold on, what??? where did this come from, what is this about?????". to be fair, even back then i was pretty sure that there WAS something there that must have been set up earlier and i just missed it, but it was still kind of a confusing read. some specific examples: dave getting upset at terezi after the coinflip godtier timeline splitting debacle, his whole disjointed speech about the reluctant hero thing in the first meenah walkaround, his entire conversation with grimbark jade where he just states he's not time traveling again. those moments totally blindsided me on my first read

another moment that completely blindsided me, but which i actually Got on the first read regardless, was the long-awaited striderchat. i did not AT ALL expect the direction that went, but it did a fantastic job at recontextualizing what i had initially just accepted without question as a comically exaggerated videogamey home situation (not that much of a stretch when the final member of the party was raised by a dog in the middle of nowhere), into a traumatic enviroment that informs a lot of WHY dave is the way he is and why he used to think and approach the world the way that he did

other than that, theres a lot of Dave Angst i am still only just untangling on the reread because his anxieties sometimes stem from really esoteric ideas that i couldn't wrap my head around when i was busy trying to keep track of the billion plot threads of act5 which i was reading as fast as possible lol. but like, just earlier today i had the realization that dave's fear of death manifests MUCH more strongly in fear over being responsible over alt versions of him dying, than it does when his actual life is being directly threathened. dave would be susceptible to dumb thought experiments along the line of pascal's mugging, is what i'm saying, much more so than he would be to getting actually mugged.

tldr dave is an interesting character and i like him very much now, but boy did i not Get Him until recently

[seoafin]

tbh,, i havent read the raws of the interview yet, only the translated ver from fan-translator and b4 i start, i think that this will be just me talking in circle and in no particular order AND a real mess (my brain does weird things after exams) but uhh here we go

gojou collects talented people, and by doing so he finds the people he can most probably relate to, except that he can't, not really, because something in the universe shifted when he was born. and it makes me think of how he's always known it, that he is special, and he's proven it, time and time again— he wants to take in talented ppl and he does, but there rly isn't much he can do for them. for they are talented, more talented than the world can understand,,

but they aren't gojou satoru

gojou took in megumi, bc he knew megumi was strong, and would grow up to be someone even stronger, but gojou can't facilitate or encourage his growth, bc for all they're similar, they are so fundamentally different. ALSO,, while geto was in his life, gojou rly judged everything according to his understanding of geto’s moral compass. gojou wears a human suit and geto is how he learnt to wear it well 🏃

the dragonfly analogy regarding to geto’s response to gojo, who was shown wearing a dragonfly patterned yukata in HI arc,, i’m trying to not think abt the fact that dragonfly symbolized victory in jpn....pain. i quoted from a web here for more explanation : In Japan the dragonfly is known as the "victory insect", or kachimushi, because of its hunting prowess and also because it is known to never retreat. Dragonflies are agile and fast fliers and can even hover, but never fly backwards

and bringing this up again, matricide and patricide are 2 of the 5 worst act to commit in buddhism, and it was said that if u commit one of those act u’re going to spend a real long time in the deepest pit of hell before continuing the samsaric cycle (higher chances to be born as an animal after that probs)— this might be geto’s divine retribution. held no power over his own body and could be considered that he’s the same as those “monkeys” 💀

ALSO the fact that sukuna's interest is "eating" rly drives home his hedonistic philosophy of seeking pleasure for himself. and he’s a cannibal...makes me think if he’ll just chomp on ppl with the mouth on his stomach

randomly, to date i think he hasn't really called himself a human, shaman, or a curse, and has held himself apart from all 3, and we've also the intro of the cursed wombs so i wonder if he’s trying to become, or is, a different entity altogether

so onmyoji got mentioned in the interview and what they practice is called onmyodo and abe no seimei and kano no yasunori were the notable practitioners,, and the kamo in jjk is the same as irl who served the imperial court back then

maybe i was right when i said that the relation between the govt. and jujutsu elders are similar to how the shogunate and imperial court work (ie, the former holds the actual power) but... lets see later,,

and i cant believe that i actually nailed it on the analogy of jujutsu practices by religion,,, so mahayana buddhism, shintoism, and taoism is present in jjk along with their respective jujutsu practices...but between the 3, it shld (?) be taoism > shintoism > mahayana buddhism (which could took a path to pure land buddhism)

it’s weird that the number of curses are supposedly higher in jpn comparable to other countries when taoism was brought from china....tengen sus

so the zenin family tree is sth like :

brothers: [toji's dad] ; naobito ; ougi

so toji, naoya, and maki & mai are cousins of the same generation

[toji's dad] → jinichi (probs) ; toji → megumi

naobito → other brothers, naoya

ougi → maki, mai

but yea i’d call anyone who’s within/close or below my age range as cousins and others above 30 as uncles/ aunts LMFAO,, i dont rly memorize my own family tree 😭😭 especially since most call the other by honorifics instead of names : aunt, uncles etc or attaching said honorifics at the end of a name for an older sibling figure/ older cousins [but like ppl in my country also call the other who are older with sibling honorific even if we’re strangers,,, rly similar to korea’s hyung/oppa—eonnie(unnie)/noona but some uses more genderless honorific] (1)

tw // topic of incest, mentions of abuse

if anyone got the wrong idea when reading this : i am not glorifying/ romanticising incest(uous themes),, i’m looking at this with absolutely no lenses of bias even tho im rly against it

初恋 = literally : first love, or puppy love

恋 = romantic love/ deep longing

i literally don't know how else to put this...🧍and with language barrier...using a western interpretation of the eng word "love" to explain a jpnese term is not quite that simple, unfortunately

that thread omg,, i rly do understand how exactly someone could associated kindness with love bc of my upbringing, it was when i was slightly older that i was just...oh so its not like that orz,,, so the most plausible explanation would be that

but the problem is that,, akutami never specify when exactly she had a crush on them,, and when megumi answered todo’s question she had a “♡” reaction 😶,, uhmmm there’s rly no way to look past this if its this way or be in denial

i’ve seen some of "why wouldn't mai react that way after hearing megumi say he'd like someone who's compassionate when she's surrounded by men like naoya",, well I MEAN,,, that, but also mai probs admires that megumi grew up so well out of the clan, regardless of the fact that he had the foundation (10 shadows) to do so. imo she seems happy for him the way she can't be for maki, bc maki ultimately had to leave her behind

hate to say it but yea,, the 3 clans most likely still practice inbreeding in order to preserve their power and presumably their wealth too 😀

i had an idle thought abt it at first but i filed it deep in the back of my mind asap,, bc i ont wanna jump to conclusion abt this out of all things too early. it’s probably not even in jjk, but all those elite clans in other ani/mangas that produce powerful heirs and whatnot also do the same,,, but this way of (my personal) thinking was influenced when i first got into tsukihime (type-moon),,, i read abt the nanaya family background and found out that they practice that in order to keep their bloodline “pure” (to keep it short : they have an optical power),, and i had this kind of assumption ever since so there’s that

i’m,, convinced the zenins' inbreeding made it more difficult for them to get powerful shamans bc they got 2 jujutsu technique-less children with heavenly restrictions in the same generation: toji & maki

even more convinced that maki might be a bit stronger than toji bc toji could see curses without aid while maki can't so the pay-off must be higher,,, SJJASN IDK ,,, plus naoya sort of implies his older brothers are nothing compared to him, and idk if we should take that as his arrogance or that his older brothers rly are weak/powerless. it would make sense as to why naobito had a lot of sons, ig, as head of clan

i feel so bad that if one of the factors that can caused heavenly restriction is inbreeding,, toji and maki and mai had no say in how they wanted to be born but are scorned for it,, typical asian families projecting their traumas and ideals onto their kids but get mad when they realize that those ideals are ugly...😁😁😁

since the zenin are conservative,, i wonder if they still hold onto old jpnese dining traditions. where in ancient jpn, hierarchical relationships were made readily apparent even within families. a dining table where everybody sat down and ate as equals would be unheard of. rather, each individual is given their own table that indicates their status,,, someone who is not considered “strong” according to the zenin’s views most likely have no place at the table, and probs eat when those who are “strong” finished/ serve them when they are eating

if toji was tossed into a swarm of curses,, i dont think abuse during said time is below them,,,

the zenin clan was already great, but they further amassed power and strength by, what i assume to be, marrying and adopting powerful individuals into the clan 🤔 ,,, i imagine they're like the hiiragi but without doing what they did to shinya (ons reference)

BUT after all that, i like to think that since akutami’s a big horror fan, jjk might be an outlet to explore said topics or even darker ones, so i wouldnt be that surpised abt it. given that there’s more than enough “red flags” before this was dropped : a reference to “tale of hikaru genji” when a grown woman asked for gojou’s number in HI arc (out of all things); granny who transformed into the man’s daughter, sat on his lap and man just touched her waist; mei mei and ui ui ; and...this (incestous theme is in the novel btw)

lets not start with whatever the fuck in kubo’s head in the interview otherwise i’m writing paragraphs with every curse words possible,, those big 3 mangakas are so— UGH,, a planet w out (cis) men like him sounds real good rn 😌 if one of yall out there decide to do it,, pls hmu rly cant do this shit anymore

akutami said i like my men pretty and i like women who will step on my neck and spit in my face (I REMEMBERED TATSUKI FUJIMOTO’S INTERVIEW WHEN HE WAS ASKED ABT MAKIMA AND IT WAS SO 😭😭😭😭) but ykw,, love that for both of them <3

when i said 3 : one piece, bleach, naruto. aside from the blatant depiction/ characterize of women in those 3,, idk if some ppl arent aware yet but oda is friends with two (2) convicted pedos,, man...the major disappointment and disgust when i first find out abt it

anyways this is just my 2 cents (which i think rightfully belong to the trash can) so pls just take this w a lil to no grain of salt - 🐱

YEAH THE ♡ LMFAO I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST A “good answer ♡“ heart BUT NOW IM RE-EXAMINING?????

honestly i wouldn’t be surprised if the three clans practiced inbreeding. but ik people are going to be  😡😡😡😡😡 about it when the queen of fucking england is literally married to her (something) cousin. i’m not justifying it but like....love the double standards, just as always with the west 😍

DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THAT FUCKING PED* LIST THEY SHOULD ALL BE IN JAIL. JAILLLLL. it’s all so gross. that’s why i fucking hate when people look towards manga for positive representation because the chances of that are super slim to zero, especially since the industry is saturated with misogyny and ped******* and a lot of other gross stuff.

i think ppl forget jjk is a horror manga LOL so obviously it’s going to confront darker themes. the question is whether it’s going to be done tastefully or not......

[mistergrass]

a dump of podcast thoughts/recs

I have been listening to a whole lot of podcasts in the last month, and so I thought I’d just lay out what I’ve listened to so far and my general thoughts (but I’m not gonna tag any of them because I might get too honest - which means REALLY no one is gonna care about this lmao) 

I would also love some recs for both fiction and non-fiction if anyone’s got any! 

Fiction:

The Magnus Archives - This is, unsurprisingly, my top top recommendation for podcasts. The story being told is so intricate and well thought-out. I love pieces of media where I can turn my brain off and trust that the creators know exactly what they’re doing. And I love anything that knows its intent from episode 1. I think I could go on for ages praising this podcast, but tldr; 

HIGHLY RECOMMEND 

The Penumbra Podcast (Junoverse) - I am not a fan of high fantasy, which is the main reason I haven’t listened to Second Citadel (other than the one-off eps in s1), so I’ll just focus on the Juno Steel stories. But I listened to this after catching up with TMA because so many people seemed to recommend it. Because of that, I think I might have gone into it with slightly higher-than-necessary expectations....

Here are things I like about it: the environment is well sound-scaped (especially in later eps), the universe is really cool and fun to learn about, and the romantic subplot between Juno and Peter really is a great time. 

That being said, I can get a little frustrated with the writing at times. Story beats are sometimes paced oddly, and at other times the narration can over-explain what’s going on -- especially wrt character emotions. S2 I think is the biggest culprit of this “tell don’t show” method, and it can expand to hurt the individual mysteries and the set-up of the metaplot, too. Overall, S2 was a real dredge to get through. (But credit where credit is due, Juno Steel and The Monster’s Reflection were incredibly crafted episodes of that season). 

But it was worth it to me for S3, which is a fun vibe and shifts from focusing on individual mysteries to character explorations in a found-family dynamic. The real strength of this podcast are the unique and engaging characters and their dynamics (which is why when Juno isolates himself in S2, it gets kind of dull). It’s not perfect, but it’s definitely been a very entertaining season. 

Uhhhh, kind of recommend? Maybe only if you’re really into the noir/sci-fi/detective genre. 

Death by Dying - The worst thing about this podcast is that there’s only five episodes. Oh my GOD what a gem of a show. The deadpan, absurdist humor in this show is so insanely up my alley and so well-written. But one thing I love about this podcast is that even in five episodes with a format that is mostly obituary-of-the-week, the emotional arcs of the characters are really well-maintained. Charolette, in particular, is a tragic character to follow through the MC’s eyes, but in a way that makes total sense considering the situation. This show is so clever, so fun, and finds ways to be really poignant at times, too. 

HIGHLY RECOMMEND 

Two Princes - I know I said I don’t like high fantasy, but I’m also gay and sometimes that just beats out. Who doesn’t like a light, fluffy story about two princes falling in love in some perilous magic forest? It’s a gas. Also, it’s just really well-produced and an easy listen. You very much get what’s on the tin,  and that tin is some high-quality and very tasty cheese. 

RECOMMEND 

Limetown - God, I’m so upset about this one. 

The first season is a masterpiece. WONDERFULLY produced, beautifully sound-scaped, insanely intriguing and engaging, along with a wonderful MC who is far from perfect in her endeavor for forbidden knowledge. I don’t think I can recommend it enough. 

The second season... is fine! You still want to know what’s going on, so it’s easy to keep listening. But, tbh, it takes a bit of an odd turn. I don’t want to spoil it too much, but I would’ve been okay with the shift in direction if it was leading somewhere satisfying. But the S2 finale is... well. Choices were made, I guess. I’ll just say that I was really cheated out of an emotional pay-off. 

If there was a promise of a 3rd season that would explain these things in more depth, I might let it off. But it looks like the production team is shifting its focus to the TV series being made out of this. I might watch it -- but I am worried now that they won’t know how to land the plane no matter how smooth the take-off is. 

Despite everything, RECOMMEND 

Archive 81 - (I have only finished through S2) 

My feelings on this show is that I do not have the auditory processing skills required to keep up, lmao. But I don’t think I can really hold that against this podcast. This show doesn’t hold the audience’s hands, which is something I actually really like (even if I do get lost sometimes in what’s happening, lmao). This is obviously another case of the creators knowing EXACTLY where they’re going in the story, too. I also don’t think I’ve heard any other podcast with sound-scaping at this level. The biggest themes of this show are sound and ritual, and itreally follows through on that wrt how the sound is edited. The vibe of it is so mysterious and unique, it does such a good job of making you feel like you’re in a totally different world.

RECOMMEND

Wooden Overcoats - (I have only finished through S1)

This show definitely has a Fawlty Towers feel to it, and the humor is very fast-paced and British in that very specific UK-sitcom way. Because of that the humor is very dry, but definitely fun to listen to. And the characters are a real hysterical bunch.

My biggest critique, however, is that sometimes the episodes end in a way that feels like a big bummer. British sitcoms of this nature usually hinge upon an incompetent/anti-hero MC who tends to deserve the different comical misfortunes that fall upon them. Usually they get up afterwards, having learned nothing, and the cycle continues in a harmless way. But sometimes that vibe doesn’t really hit, and a few episodes will end with these big tonal shifts where the schadenfreude ends up drying out. You sort of just end up feeling bad for everyone involved instead lol. It’s what has me hesitating going into the next season, but I’ll definitely start it up eventually. It’s well produced, and honestly the characters are just too fun to keep away from (Antigone in particular is my favorite). 

If you like British sitcoms, I’d recommend. Or if you’re looking for a cynical laugh. 

Other podcasts I’ve started are EOS 10, and Dreamboy. I really didn’t like the first episode of Dreamboy, but I’m gonna give it another try since it’s so short. EOS 10 seems well-produced, but not really up my personal alley. 

Non-Fiction 

I’m not gonna give these ones as long of blurbs, just know I recommend them all highly. 

You Must Remember This -  Old Hollywood history that is wonderfully researched, and focuses a lot on women of the time. The recounting of these histories feels very honest and she really doesn’t pull any punches when giving detailed and accurate accounts. A truly wonderful show. 

Welcome to Your Fantasy - A deep dive on the history of Chippendales that is WILDLY entertaining. I sort of can’t believe I got as sucked in as I did. The host has a wonderful humor about her, but is still great at getting to the heart of some of the heavier issues at hand. 

Last Podcast on the Left - My favorite true crime/conspiracy podcast by a long mile. It’s equally hilarious and well-researched. I know a lot of people are kind of anti-true crime lately which is very understandable, but I do appreciate each of the host’s personal philosophies on the matter, which I think comes through in a lot of their episodes. 

[laufire]

Supernatural s1

my dash: decries Supernatural every five posts.

me: time to watch it seriously for the first time in my life.

-First thing first: it’s an amazingly well-crafted season of tv. I’m a character-focused watcher, not a plot-focused one; I never connected emotionally to the Winchesters (still haven’t and likely never will, as interesting I might find them as character constructs), so I feared I’d be bored and would want to skip scenes. Nuh huh. I was many things, but none of them were bored xDD. Each episode was a lesson in good pacing and the entire season another in proper build-up. There are one or two or a few dozen tv-writers I would like to show it to, ngl.

-Another thing it excelled at was in its portrayal in abusive family dynamics. The way Dean went mellow and so unlike himself when John gave an order (and what a SHOCK it is in the later episodes when he finally stands up to him!!). How Sam said HE would apologize to his father when they saw each other again, or how he made apologies for his father because “it could have been worse” (at least John didn’t beat them up, like it happened to that poor kid!). John showing Sam more “““respect””” (as far as he’s able at least) simply because Sam already proved he’s capable of leaving him; the way John controls the information he gives them and when and how and how much and how small they feel when they reunite with him. Dean knowing his father had been possessed by a demon because it wasn’t reprimanding him and belittling him. Dean’s psychic shapeshifter (?) expressing his resentment towards Sam for getting to escape. Dean’s quickness to resort to violence when Sam says something that makes him angry, or how he tries to severe ties between Sam and his college friends, or how he guilt trips him when Sam says he plans on returning to his studies, or how he minimizes Sam’s experiences with John or how Sam criticizes Dean’s compliance... (I don’t think Dean’s being consciously manipulative. I think it’s intuitive. Which is far, far scarier. He’s the Elena Gilbert of Supernatural and a walking red flag for controlling behavior). How it’s paired with ~honeymoon periods. The way they use the families around them to highlight their issues. It’s... chilling and terrifying and I can’t look away. I won’t get into the shit John pulls in 2x01 because that’s for the s2 POV, but oh my god I’m so happy he’s dead.

I wasn’t all that sure of how self-aware the creators were about this trend (especially because of how centralized and validated Dean’s POV is in his conflicts with Sam IMO. OTOH... characters like Dean and actors like Ackles are the type to take over a show by charisma alone tbf. The way he swoops in in the pilot and starts disrupting everything, including Sam’s relationship, reminding me of both Angel in BTVS and Chuck in Gossip Girl, Doylist-wise. This comparison is going to make sense to like three people I talk with regularly xDD). At least on early seasons, since certain spoilers about the later ones make me think it grew over time. I’m still unsure but I think they are a little self-aware because of this quote:

Eric Kripke said of Buffy: “I loved ‘Hush’ and ‘Once More, With Feeling,’ but overall, Buffy really taught me about effectively using metaphor in genre. For Buffy, it was ‘high school is hell (literally),’ and Joss Whedon did such a masterful job of grounding his horror and fantasy concepts in this notion, and ultimately telling allegories about high school, which turned what could’ve been B-Movie material into an all-time classic. I used that same philosophy on my run of Supernatural, with the mantra ‘family is hell (literally),’ and always grounded my horror episodes around the notion of families, to the show’s benefit. So thanks, Joss Whedon. I owe you a beer. (Credit: The WB)

everyone wants to be Buffy lol.

-My absolute favourite thing was how competent the Winchesters are (I’m even reluctantly including John here. That bastard). They’re sneaky with local authorities, crafty about fake IDs, credit scams, research abilities, DIY supernatural detectors xDD... I loved the lack of an audience proxy, the fact that the story throws you into the deep end with people that already know their shit. And that the other side is competent too, like when Meg & YED’s plan to trap John relied on the Winchester being competent; on Sam immediately going into the defensive because, what are the chances of finding that cute weird girl a second time, miles away?; on John suspecting it was a trap and only revealing himself after Meg appears to be dead... Another scene that I loved in that sense, from 2x01 (I watched until 2x03, I wanted to see Sterling K. Brown’s first appearance lol) was how upon discovering Reapers are shapeshifters, Dean immediately knew that cute ghost he’d befriended was the one after him. I get the feeling this aspect will get lost in future season and it’s a pity, tbh.

-Related to that, some of my favourite moments: Sam straight up bribing a guy to get into the morgue when Dean’s arguments are failing (with Dean’s money!); Dean’s plan of “well, if this guy is haunting the house and there’s no other way to kill him, we burn the house. No house no haunting”; Dean telling that kid to fake appendicitis to get his parents out of the house; John blessing the tank of water knowing he’s walking into a trap with demons... I dig this stuff.

-I get whiplash sometimes, with the show making a point of (very briefly) telling you racism, homophobia or pro-life attitudes are Bad(TM) and the brothers are Against them (the Racist Truck episode, the one where a woman used a Reaper to exchange “virtuous” lives for those of sinners...), when the rest of the show is err... what it is lol. Dean is toxic masculinity’s poster boy (I was so disgusted by how he acted with Jess omfg), in s2 we don’t get the monsters’ perspective on hunters until we’ve conveniently met our first black one (I love the episode AND the character but it’s fucking true)...

-I need to make a note of paying attention to the writers credits/Bts stuff because I find this show’s progression fascinating on a metatextual level. The only problem is that audience reaction seems to have played a big role (which is a problem on one or two different levels imo xD), and tracking that down is sliiiiightly more difficult lol. Oh well (I don’t even think I want to see too much of this fandom, even to satisfy my curiosity. Some of the glimpses I’ve caught of it are disturbing to the extreme).

-The detail about dead people’s blood being toxic to vampires is SO COOL OMG. I’m tempted to steal it xD

Some random stuff:

-The monsters of the week were some legit creepy stuff.

-I love that Meg has her own hellhounds. Is that still a thing when she returns?

-Dean: you and dad are reckless and I’m going to have to be the one that buries you. / Me, with the power of foresight: 👀

-Also Dean: sometimes it scares me how good I am at killing. / Me: it scares the shit out of me how good you are at killing, too, fam.

-I get the impression Sam loses his demonic-in-origin powers later on, right? What a waste, I love those.

-I’m pretty sure at one point it’s implied John used Dean to honeytrap monsters (when he sends him as a trap for the lady vampire that stole the Colt) and I really don’t know what to do with this information.

-Cassie was GORGEOUS and even make Dean likeable for me while they lasted xDD. But given this show’s track record I’m considering the lack of more appearances a blessing.

-So many guest stars. Everyone’s been on SPN. Especially if they were on the Buffyverse first (I totally get the impulse of casting Buffy actor after Buffy actor lmfao).

-Funny how Luther Hargreeves is exactly who a lot of fans think Dean was (Dean is far, far colder imo), and yet one is constantly called pathetic and evil and the other woobified. Very Funny Indeed *coughs* (funnier still that the character I often see Dean compared to is Wynonna Earp when the parallels are kids-pool deep at best and offensive at worst. Dean is not a Wynonna. Again, Dean is an Elena Gilbert xDD).

-The two paranormal investigators were dumb as rocks, but their motto was “What Would Buffy Do” so I like them (if they ever change that to What Would the Winchesters Do or something like that I’m going to be furious lmao).

-When I want to ~chill I dress about exactly like Dean (minus the flannel I’ve seen in later seasons, you can’t pay me to wear flannel). Like, I think I have a couple of shirts that look exactly like ones of his. I don’t know how I feel about this xDD

-IDK how I’ll feel about Bobby later on (I get the impression every long-term character on this show has their hateful phases xD), but in his introduction he said the last time he saw John he threatened to shoot him (“he causes that reaction in people”), so he’s so far the most relatable character around lol.

[queenharumiura]

((H.A.R.U))

Taken from meme: [x] ||Accepting|| ((Oh Kiki, I see what you did, you beautiful bean))

H - What is your favorite source text for fandom stuff (e.g., TV shows, movies, books, anime, Western animation, etc.)?

A - Ships that you currently like a lot. (They don’t have to be OTPs because not everyone has OTPs.) Friendships, pairings, threesomes, etc. are allowed.

R - Which friendship/platonic relationship is your favorite in fandom?

[x] - Answered here ; As a bonus, i’ll answer A and R in regards to the Inuyasha fandom bc we’re both in it. He is coming into a friendly relation with Margaret (OC) which is great. IDK what he’d be with Elena, but realistically, I think it would maybe be a friendship of sorts? I think that covers that. I don’t have any ships that are official in threads. However, I do think our Kikyo and Sesshomaru would eventually get down to being a ship.

In fandom, I support Inuyasha/Kagome and Sango/Miroku as it’s canon. In regards to what I like, I do like Sesshomaru/Kagome and Sesshomaru/Kikyo (GET FUCKING REKTED INUYASHA! Don’t be mistaken, I love Inuyasha but I am biased). Sesshomaru and Kagura would be an interesting dynamic to explore more on. I think I’ve seen people state Sesshomaru already loved Kagura when she died and I just-- don’t feel the vibe tbh. I personally think he would’ve needed more time to come to terms with such an emotion. I think it was interest, respect, and familiarity at best at that time. Anyways, I think their dynamic would be very fun as a ship. I’ve seen Sesshomaru and Sango as well and i’m like LE KEK, SURE WHY NOT? Me casually making my muses a ship magnet in fandom? Yes. In RPC? LOL SHIP? Can I eat that? 

U - Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites.

Oof- Okay... uh... I’ll avoid the fandoms i muse for to try to make this more original. 

Trash of the Count’s Family

Cale- I am biased, I love the main character, obviously. I just really like Cale. He has some sassy thoughts in his head and I LIVE for that. Additionally, I just find him to be fascinating as a character. I can’t really go into it because it goes into severe spoiler territory, but basically, the way he was integrated into the world he was isekai’ed into is so fascinating to me, especially when you realize there is more to this isekai than we, the readers, are initially led to believe. In regards to emotions, he’s more stagnant than I’m used to in a lot of characters I like, but I don’t hate it? Rather, it fits him well. He’s an ‘unlucky’ dude and I laugh at his misfortune. When you consider angst material—Ohhhh CHEF KISS.

Alberu- BIG BROTHER CROWN PRINCE ALBERU!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love him so much. AHHHHHH He’s such a fun character to me. This sly Prince. He really does care a lot about Cale and it makes me cry. He takes his role as a Prince seriously and puts so much care into the common-folk and he doesn’t discriminate against those of the dark species (Necromancers, dark elves, vampires, etc) which is almost unheard of especially since the most prominent religions are those of the Light. He has a reason for it which I won’t spoil. AHHHH I love him. //sob

Raon Miru- BABY DRAGON!!!!!!! The cutest lil thing who I love to pieces. He was introduced as an abused baby and it hurts me to think about. He hates humans but he sticks around Cale because he’s the human that saved him from being tortured daily. He slowly becomes acclimated to being around humans and grows to trust some. He still hates humans but the ones he’s close to aren’t ‘humans’. They are ‘his people’. I cry. This all-mighty dragon is amazing and can do everything. Bow before his might. I love him. Fite me.

-

Legend of the Sun Knight

(Lesus) Judgement Knight- Okay, he’s not the main character, but--!!! He’s great. Even though he’s supposed to be at odds with the Sun Knight as they embody different philosophies, they are actually the best of friends in secret. He deals with a lot of Grisia’s (Sun Knight) BULLSHIT, getting him out of trouble. His dynamic with Grisia is just hilarious to me. He’s a calm and collective type. Very serious, not very talkative. He’s the head of the ‘cold-faction’ and his role is to punish sinners in grotesque ways so many fear him but HE’S. A. GOOD. BOI!!!!!!! He just—is so dedicated to his role but mostly Grisia, his best-friend-who-is-not-his-friend. I’M CRY.

(Grisia) Sun Knight- The actual main character of the series. He’s so… HE���S AN INSUFFERABLE LIL TWAT—BUT I LOVE HIM. So sassy and just a lil shit in general. He’s very clever and he’s also what you could consider a genius. I love competency, mmm. He’s HELLA petty. To put it simply, he’s the Sun Knight, who is like the head of the Sun Church. You could say he’s the leader of an entire religion, who worship the God of Light. (If you ever see me type OMGOL, it’s bc I’m typing Oh My God of Light. Fax) There are select knights who are spokespeople for the church and he’s the head of them. All such knights are considered to be ‘brothers’ and he’s very protective of them all. Princess? King? Liche? The world? He don’t give any flying fucks. You touch his knights and he’ll get revenge. BET. I love that level of savagery.

(Neo) Sun Knight- I must say, he doesn’t show up much, but he is just //chef kiss. The special knights I mentioned earlier are roles that get passed down to a new generation. There are 12 in total, and the Sun Knight is the topmost knight. Neo Sun is said to be the best knight in HISTORY aside from the original. His sword skills are legendary and he raised Grisia, the… uh… ‘weakest’ Sun Knight in history. He’s the weakest in sword skill and horse riding skill, but Grisia is the strongest when it comes to magic proficiency. Just Neo’s name can send Grisia into a panic. He is somewhat of a Father for Grisia. A scary one, but one that Grisia cares deeply for. The sacrifices that Neo has made for Grisia is just //sob. He and Lesus both have done so much for Grisia behind the scenes and I’m just--- //cries harder.

-

The King’s Avatar

Ye Xiu- He is the main character of this novel and ughhh I love him so much. He too, IS A LIL SHIT!!!! He is so insufferable sometimes to his opponents and I LOVE IT. He’s very smart and skilled in what he does. He’s a professional gamer and I don’t understand a thing about games but I only need to know that he’s wicked good lol. He’s very dedicated to Glory, the game that he was a professional gamer for. He kinda… got ousted out by the team he FOUNDED. He says that he’ll get back into the professional association and take another championship. The novel centers around him and you watch as he sets out to complete a specific goal in mind in honor of a certain someone.

Huang Shaotian- A talkative dumbass. I love him. He is such PUPPY ENERGY. He bothers Ye Xiu a lot with his highkey energy. He’s extremely talented and he is known for his trash talking. He talks ridiculously fast and he’s just so--- insufferable in another way lol. I love him for it. He doesn’t always think before he talks and it gets him into trouble. Even though they are on opposing teams, he is quite fond of Ye Xiu and after finding out Ye Xiu suddenly retired (ie he was forced out of his team), he was very concerned for him. He even travelled to come talk to him and do him a favor. He was like: Old Ye, if you ever need anything, just ask! I’ll help! THIS. GOOD. BOI!!!!!!!!!! He’s really just a big idiot sometimes. “Hey, Shaotian, where are you?” “Oh, I’m xxxxxx.” “Oh? That’s where a boss spawns. I’ll be there.” Who just—he legit just gave intel to Ye Xiu about a boss monster spawn to an enemy guild. He is just too honest and ready to answer to Ye Xiu. You can tell he really respects Ye Xiu despite what trash talk he spouts. Ye Xiu IS the God of Glory, after all.

Han Wenqing- IN COMING YE XIU’S OLD RIVAL FOR YEARS!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH They just--- I’M CRY. They have such history with each other, constantly butting head with each other in game/tournaments. They don’t have a dynamic where they look at each other and just cuss each other out or what have you. They genuinely respect each other and wouldn’t mind hanging out with each other in private. They are both captains of their own respective teams and the fans of their teams are mortal enemies lol. Han Wenqing and Ye Xiu are both older players and you really get to see the struggles older players face in the tough gaming industry. He’s a responsible captain and he is so respectable. He’s so great. I love him too. The dynamic he has with Ye Xiu is--- //crying

[dokkaebiking]

Pass the happy! When you receive this, list 5 things that make you happy and send this to 10 of the most recent people in your notifications!

Considering how 2020 has gone, this shouldn’t be a hard list to make as there’s not a lot that’s made me happy this year. I mean, this has been sitting in my inbox for far too long, simply because The Depresso™ has robbed me of the energy to do much of anything these days. However, Biden won the election, and although that cursed cheese ball shit bag currently in the White House is trying to undermine democracy, at the same time I know he ain’t gonna get away with it, so I feel lighter than I have in months, and I’m finally getting to things I’ve held off for too long. Not gonna tag anyone, but if you want to be tagged then I’m attacking you with psychic powers right now and tagging you spiritually >:D

1. Trash of the Count’s Family! I cannot overstate how much joy this Korean webnovel has brought me this year. I read the manhwa first, by chance, when I was cruising the “Isekai” tag, and after reading so many where a woman got sent into another world/was reborn in another world/took over the body of a side character in their favorite game or book or whatever/or otherwise transmigrated into a place that’s Not Here (and lucky them, amirite)...I was happy to see it happen to a guy. Not only that, but like the first chapter, aside from the prologue, was filled with so much fanservice of just this one guy that I was pleasantly surprised at the tables being turned. Especially since Isekai is very well known for it’s trashy female fanservice and gross harems that make no sense. CUE CALE HENITUSE COMING TO SAVE THE ISEKAI GENRE! 

He not only has no romantic interest whatsoever in the story, which is fantastic (doesn’t stop us fans from shipping left and right, but I love it when this type of protag just does not do romance at all), but he builds a harem that’s purely platonic and god damn it I’ve never seen Found Family done so well I wanna cry just thinking about it. Plus, Cale’s whole philosophy of “gotta create world peace so I can live as a slacker” is hilarious, considering how he just keeps being a Hero™ and hating it, but his dumb ass can’t stop. Also, there’s a baby dragon that he saves, sets free from a terrible torture chamber it began its life in, and rather than running off it decides to follow Cale around and basically Cale becomes a father of three kids, one being the dragon, and the other two being two precious (and very dangerous) cat kids. This story refuses to let the good guys die, which after GoT is refreshing as hell, but isn’t afraid to take bloody revenge on the bad guys, which is also hella refreshing. I’ll go on forever if I don’t stop here, but just look it up if you get the chance and any of this appeals to you—you won’t regret it.

2. KakaIru, easily, has been the stable foundation for me this year. The friends I met through the fandom before this year have only become closer, and more dear to me, and the new friends are just as lovely; these people are the only things keeping me sane, let me tell you. The @kakairuzine “Intertwined” was a big project that I was delighted to help mod for, and participate in as a merch artist, and I’m so thrilled that we reached all of our stretch goals, and then some! The @the-umino-hours server has brought me much joy during the year, as well as the forum @kakairu-rocks, participating in the @kakairu-mini-bang was a blast (and I’m working on the second part to that fic right now tbh), now I’m a mod (and participant) for the @kakairu-big-bang and am so excited for it. KakaIru has been with me since I was a kid, and it’s just so lovely that it’s still a fairly active part of the fandom, and still makes me as happy as it did when I was 14  (*˘︶˘*).｡.:*♡

3. Spooky boys, like cryptids and folklore and eldritch horrors, are always a delight, but in a year that’s more horrifying than any of them could ever dream to be, it’s oddly cathartic to indulge in the monsters we imagine while surrounded by real monsters of our own making. Also, ever since I wrote my KakaIru fic Want Me Down to the Marrow I’ve had such a soft spot for the Gashadokuro, and still laugh at “Bone Daddy”. You’ll have to pry that title from my cold, dead hands.

4. “My Next Life as a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom!” It was honestly this otome anime that led me down the path that eventually brought me to “Trash of the Count’s Family”. So I owe a lot to this series, and really the series in and of itself is such a delight. I bought the light novels on Bookwalker because I loved it so much~♥ Katarina (aka Bakarina), thank you for your service. Because of you I looked up other series of a similar strain as your story, and found the manhwa “Beware the Villainess!”, which is a fucking delight, and thus kept looking into that genre and eventually found my way to Cale Henituse’s whacky adventures.

5. “The Rising of the Shield Hero” has made me happy from the first time I watched it, but I rewatched it this year, and the announcement for the second season’s release came just like...last month I believe, so that spike of serotonin was highly appreciated. I have the light novels for this series up to volume 17, and let me tell you, the story just gets better and better and I cannot wait for it to be animated. Naofumi, I love you you cinical little shit~♥

[delusion-of-negation]

What's your opinion on Midsommar in general? I see it applauded as the height of cinema everywhere, and don't take me wrong, I do not think that it is a bad movie, however, in my opinion, the execution felt...off? I am unsure how to describe it. Despite finding the execution lacking, I liked the premise, I am a big fan of psychological horror, I liked the message. BUT I definitely felt like nearly 3 hours was not it. I don't see anyone else complain about the length though, so I'm wondering if that's just a me + my family problem. I am the last person to say "There is nothing happening in this film, I hate it!", ask anyone, you'll find that I find most films, which people describe as painfully slow-paced, engaging. But holy shit, when watching Midsommar, I thought to myself "There is nothing happening." Personally, I thought that many scenes had no purpose, and look, I get that not everything in an art piece has to have a purpose, but when your film is 3 hours long, maybe you should cut something out. Because a very thrilling 3 hours long film will definitely engage people more than a slow-paced 3 hours long movie. People will get bored. I mean, wasn't Endgame like 3 hours long (or was that Infinity War? Oh well)? I have yet to hear someone say that the pacing was painful and boring. I simply think that maybe it is not a good idea to drag out a drama / psychological horror film for that long. Although, some people do like extreme slowburns so I guess some were fine with it, but as I said I'm considered very tolerant when it comes to slow films and even I felt like death was near by the time it ended.

I know it sounds like I hate the movie, but I promise that I do like it. I just wish it wasn't so goddamn long and I do find some decisions rather odd. Like the hive mind screaming of the women. I am not sure if they thought it'd be like creepy but honestly after some time it became funny as all shit. And mainly just plain annoying for the ears. If it lasted like 5 seconds, but holy fuck from what I remember, that scene was LONG (or there were 2+ of those scenes. Either one long one or several shorter. idk). After a while I started to feel like a bull. And you know what I find to be perhaps the weirdest part? You know when they kill one of the guys for like pissing on their tree or whatever? When the other guy goes looking for him / his notes? They show a naked/deformed(?) man standing fully in the dark, if I recall right, you can see that there is something very wrong with him though, like in the Frankenstein's monster way, and the lad recognises him as the guy who was presumed to have been murdered. This is never addressed again (I think later Danni finds everyone's dead bodies in hay or something but either I just forgot or this one is not there). Like...what WAS that??? So did they kill the guy? Did they lobotomise and torture him?? For what? What was that?? Honestly I think that I zoned out during the last hour of the movie so maybe it was in fact addressed. If so, could you tell me what the hell that was? Because I'm...I'm really curious about that.

I feel really bad saying this, because you wrote so much and I wanna add to the conversation, but I haven't watched the whole movie, only some parts to understand what everyone was talking about - that's probably part of why I find the set design so disorientating, idk if it has establishing shots that just weren't in the clips I've watched or if it genuinely is like that in the movie, but I couldn't tell where people were or what things were or where one area was relative to another. that's my main criticism of what I've seen tbh, but the length is a bit off putting especially with this info (I love The Martian, which is a pretty slow paced film, but I hate Les Affamés/Ravenous because sweet fuck all happens in that movie except like two dad jokes and the mouse trap scene and one lady going feral for five seconds, the rest is just people silently looking sad). while Midsommar made me confront the fact that sometimes even I can momentarily buy into the false idea that presenting something = endorsing it when not at least vaguely stating "this is bad" before my brain clicks back into place and tells me not to be a dumbass, and I like what I've seen of other works and the philosophy of the person (they made a short film about a son raping his dad because they went "what am I not supposed to make" then made it), I don't know if that appreciation for how they've widened my self-awareness is enough to make me sit through a movie that just didn't appeal to me in terms of pure entertainment value from the clips and trailers that I did watch. 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #276

“all the other kids with the pumped up kicks, you better run, better run, outrun my gun.”

Favorite dried fruit? Dried fruit is fucking disgusting. Would you rather wear a dress or a suit on your wedding day? A dress. If you chose dress, will it be long or short? I prefer longer wedding dresses. If you chose suit, will you wear a bow or a tie? Hypothetically I’d wear a tie, probably. Have you ever wanted to be a police officer? No. Do you have a nut allergy? No. Do you accessories with chains? Put chains on fucking EVERYTHING and it is an improvement. How often do you cook dinner? If you’re excluding the microwave, like… never. What have you given up on recently? Nothing important; the only thing I can think of applies to a game. I was after the way-too-fucking-expensive dinosaur mount that is very soon going away in World of Warcraft, but the stress it was causing me wasn’t worth it. The time investment and how it was only a “maybe” of getting it in time Favorite condiment for fries? Ketchup. Ever had bangs? I did as a little kid. Do you know any Italian people? Well yeah, people of Italian descent are common in the U.S. I don’t know like, someone straight from Italy though. Have you ever dated someone LGBTQ+? Yeah, a demisexual. What color would you like your future bathroom to be? Uh… I don’t really care. It would depend on the house. Do you add sugar to plain cornflakes? No. Are skeletons cool? Skellyboiz are dope. Favorite Selena Gomez song? I don’t know any. Do you like coffee flavored cake? I don’t like coffee, so guess. Is that even a thing, though? Do you still watch your favorite kid shows/cartoons? I don’t watch TV. I would though, sure. Do you like going on walks? What's your favorite thing about them? How far do you normally walk? Ugh this question is gonna be embarrassing considering I went through muscle atrophy in my legs from being so sedentary. When we move (HOPEFULLY the start of October, a wrench was kinda thrown in our plans), I intend to absolutely start walking in small intervals now that we’ll be in a nice little neighborhood with a sidewalk. And a PokeStop nearby to bait me lmfao. Plus the weather will be cooler, so I intend to make a lot of progress. BUT ANYWAY I like just listening to either music or the sounds of what’s going on around me. Last time you had a hot drink? That’s a good question. Idk. Have you ever lived in a city? Was it crowded? Never like… a “real” city. Just small towns or in the middle of nowhere. Would you prefer to live in a big city or the woods? THE WOODS!!!!!!1 THE WOODS!!!!!1!!!!1111!! GIMME THAT SHIT!!!!!!11!11!!!! Have you ever climbed a mountain? No. Do you hear owls or crickets at night where you live? LOADS of crickets and toads during the summer. Ever run away from home? When I was a stupid pre-teen. I was mad at my mom and she wasn’t home, so I took Teddy and left. I had my phone though and Mom – when she got home – threatened to call the cops, so yeah, I came back. Are you scared to ride public transport alone? Why? No. Is marriage on your mind? No time soon. Did you own a dollhouse when you were younger? I didn’t, per se, but my younger sister did, and we would play together. Does the room you're in have a tiled floor? No, it’s carpet. How many pairs of earrings do you own? Not that many, not too few. Are you looking for a boyfriend/girlfriend? I’ve never thought *looking* was a good idea, so no. I think bonds of any kind need to come naturally to avoid lack of genuineness, force, or rush. I don’t think me having an s/o is a smart idea right now anyway. Do you prefer a call or a text? Don’t call me unless you’re dying or something. Do your parents drink coffee every morning? Mom almost always does. I don’t live with Dad, so idk. Have you ever donated blood? Yes. One song that's meaningful to you? UM a LOT. Most meaningful, probably “Stairway To Heaven” by Led Zeppelin. I physically can’t listen to it. Like I refuse to. Are you addicted to anything? Technology, big oof energy. What were you last listening to in the car? Something on my iPod, idk. When was the last time you sang out loud? I don’t recall. I rarely sing. What did you have for breakfast? A microwaveable sausage, egg, and cheese biscuit. Mom is currently out of state with her mother because she’s literally on her deathbed, so she STOCKED ME THE FUCK UP on groceries. The freezer is literally jam-packed, so I’m focusing on eating food from there. Did you have a nap today? Yes. I almost never, ever make it through the day without one, especially now with having nightmares every fucking time I sleep. Are you named after anyone? No. Well, not my first name, anyway. “Marie” is a middle name theme in my family, though. What kind of music do you like? Metal, rock, alternative, indie… stuff like that. What’s one hobby that you’d like to take up? Ugh, I miss a LOT of my old hobbies. I’ve lost interest in so much. I wish I drew way more than I do, which is almost never. What did you think you wanted to be when you grew up? The first job I ever wanted was a paleontologist. I was obsessed with dinosaurs. Still love ‘em. What’s the biggest project on your to-do list right now? It’d be great if I could finish designing Ashley’s cancer tattoo, but again, yeah, drawing motivation. ;_; If you weren’t in your current job, what would you want to be doing? I’m unemployed. Is the last person you kissed older than you? No. Are you happy right now? No. Haven’t been “happy” for a while now. Who makes you happiest right now? Probably my cat tbh lol. Especially being home alone for so long, he’s keeping me company. In school did/do people put a label on you? If so, what is/was it? I was considered one of the “emo” kids. Do you laugh every day? lol wow no. What is the last thing you laughed at? This Spongebob meme I saw on Facebook got me fuckin good. Have you cried today? If so, why? Nah. When was the last time someone saw you naked? Been a long time; even when I’m going in or coming out of the shower I do all I can for Mom to not see me because I hate my body a fucking lot. What is the greatest loss you've endured? My first boyfriend. When was the last time you did something you were embarrassed by? WOW I do this like every fuckin day, fam. What was the last thing you lied about? I’m not sure. What type of a drunk are you? Never gotten to the point of drunk, but I was more talkative the closest I got. What is your philosophy on life/how do you generally choose to live or conduct yourself? What a big question. I personally think you should do all you can to make a positive impact on the world – make it better than when you entered. Don’t contribute to the bad, treat people how you want to be treated… all that jazz. When was the last time you were up all night and why? I can’t remember quite why, but I remember doing that with WoW some time ago. Idr what I was doing that had my attention that long, though. That’s rare now. What is the worst thing you've done to yourself? What is the worst thing someone else has done to you? Part one: hand over all of my worth to someone else. Part two: show me exactly why I shouldn’t have in a very unhealthy way. What is the most personal thing you're willing to reveal? I dunno??? Can ya give me a topic?? Is there a situation or person you haven't been able to get over/forgive/what have you? I honestly doubt I’ll ever be entirely over Jason. Who was the last person to yell at you? Did you yell back? Probably Mom, and idr. Doubt it. Just probably raised my voice. Where did your last injury come from? My cat, rip. What is the worst thing you have said to another person? Something along the lines of “thanks for sending me to the ER (or mental hospital?) again.” Fucking disgusting. Do you wear your seatbelt in the car? Without fail, always. Please wear your seatbelt. Are you scared of flying? Not really. What do you sleep in? Men’s pj pants and tank tops. Who was the last person you kissed? Sara. What are you listening to? I am fucking HOOKED on 3TEETH's cover of "Pumped Up Kicks." Do you prefer soupy noodles or noodles without the broth? Without. Have you ever missed someone but felt like they had other friends and didn't miss you as much as you did? This. Is the story of my motherfuckin life. I feel this all the time to a very deep level. Who, out of all your friends, do you hang with the most and could never get tired of him/her? Sara. Do you like the taste of white chocolate or does it taste kind of fake? Nooot a white chocolate fan. Too sweet. How would you react if you just found out your mom had an abortion before? I would be VERY surprised just given who she is and her adoration for children. Are your pets spayed/neutered? Yes. Hottest guy you know and actually talk to? I don’t regularly talk to any guy I consider “hot,” but the closest to that would be my friend Leon, whom I’ve always seen as very attractive. It is fucking UNCANNY, his resemblance to Leon Kennedy from the Resident Evil series. Like he’s dressed as him before and it is astonishing. Name sharing is a coincidence, too. What time of day do you like to shower? I don’t have a favored time anymore. I just do it when I feel like it at some point during the day, but pretty much never night anymore. I do think starting the morning with one though is great, though. When you go out to eat, what sides do your order with your food? Fries are almost guaranteed, but of course it depends on the type of food, too. What do you spend more money than necessary on? I don’t and never have had a stable source of income to answer this, really. What video game or computer game are you best at? Uhhh I’d probably be rusty with the Shadow of the Colossus controls by now, I’ve don’t have the maps or every puzzles memorized from the Silent Hill games, so I guess my answer’s World of Warcraft if I’m on my hunter. Not to flex but I’m a bomb-ass beast mastery hunter. Been my main in the game since I started in MoP. What do you keep your keys on? They’re in my purse on a keychain. Is your favorite color different than your favorite color to wear? Oh yeah. Do you buy books or get them from the library? Buy them. What section of the food pyramid do you neglect the most? Veggies for sure. What do you use your stovetop for most? Well, I don’t ever. Can you focus on studying if there's music on? No, I need silence. In what types of situations do you demand absolute silence? Well, see the above answer, for one. Also going to sleep. Well, maybe not, as I have a fan as kinda like white noise, but I can sleep without it. Did you do well at fitness testing in grade school? I didn’t score bad, but I wasn’t exceptional either. Do you own more shoes or less shoes than the average person? Less, I’m sure. Do you still have anything from when you were a baby? Yeah, up in the attic. I think my mom has some stuff that’s super important to her in a case somewhere. Do you use hairspray much? I never do. Are art museums interesting or boring to you? I enjoy them. What subject in school do you feel is the least necessary? Well, this is a difficult question to answer when you consider I think depending on your career focus as well as personal values and interests, this answer changes from person to person. Like for me, I could say I don’t give a shit about complex math, but advanced math courses would be valued by certain people down specific paths. But anyway, I’ll bite and say least necessary for *the most* people, in my opinion anyway. Gym. It’s very discriminatory towards people with more limited physical capabilities (and I don’t just mean literally disabled), and it’s also just very uncomfortable and/or embarrassing to some people. Like I’d fuckin cry if in my current state, I was forced to “run” a mile, because I physically couldn’t come even close. A person, a younger one especially, should never be subjected to humiliation at the hands of a class schools deem “necessary” when it absolutely is not. Okay I’m in a talkative mood and this is turning into an essay so I’mma move along now. When you were a kid, what games did you always play on the playground? I think for as long as I had recess, my go-to was ALWAYS the swings. I fucking loved swingsets. I loved playing 4 Square or whatever it was called. And then of course there was me digging tunnels in the sandboxes because I wanted to feel like a meerkat lmfao. Do you enjoy power outages or do you get annoyed? For some reason, I still have this childlike excitement *early* into a power outage. Especially when it’s dark and we have to get out the candles, and I might play my old GameBoy or Nintendo DS, or I’ll probably just chill talking with Mom. However, that phase is pretty short nowadays, being a snake mama. My mind very quickly goes back to “Venus needs her lamp,” so as time passes, I get more anxious than annoyed. Basically, I’d rather not have one. Do you know how to use an ATM? … no lmao How about write a check? No. Are you pretty politically correct? To a degree I consider reasonable. Personally I find political correctness as having gone too far by now, but it’s certainly appropriate in some instances. What is one fashion trend you'll never understand? I… don’t really care to think much on this. Wear what makes you feel confident in yourself. There are things I think don’t look good, but they may look great to you, and it’s on your body, so guess whose opinion matters. What do you wear when you exercise? Oh yeesh. Just sweatpants and a tank top, normally. What is usually the last thing you do before you go to bed? I turn the brightness on my phone waaay down. I’m always going to wake up throughout the night and check the time, but I don’t want to be blinded.

[shego1142]

Hi, um... so I saw your btd and infinity train post and just gotta say, super glad I'm not the only one that thought that! Now that season 3 is officially all out I'm really curious if you've seen it yet and what you thought.

Goes without saying but MAJOR infinity train season 3 spoilers below!

This is also discussing an 18+ horror-porn game which features a lot of gore and other potentially triggering subjects so dni if you are not 18 or older or if gore/murder/etc make you uncomfy!

I just watched the finale. I’m like... in shock?

I mean by no means was or is Simon my fave at all (he just looks a lot like my ultimate comfort character lol) but wow... just... wow

It is a lot different when like... comparing btd with infinity train too tho!

Like, I feel like the entire /point/ of btd is to let your morality go. Like, it’s a horror-porn game.

It’s meant to be like “what up u fucks, being murdered is sexy! Yes Strade daddy kick my fucking head in! Lawrence pls squeeze my actual literal beating heart you weird necrophile”

And meanwhile infinity train is like “we are all just a collection of our actions, we all deserve the chance to redeem ourselves but sometimes we may not be able to due to the trauma we’ve been put through and the finite amount of time we have”

And I personally believe that both of those facets of humanity are okay to explore in fiction. It’s healthy to explore them in fact.

That said like, yea Simon is an asshole but I still liked him. Still think he deserved to redeem himself.

Still think it’s unfair that the train even happened to him at all, because he probably would have been better off at 10 years old with people who could look at him and say “yo, kid, here’s a therapist” instead of him being led by someone who is just as much a scared kid as he is.

Him doing what he’s always been taught to do and suddenly being told it’s wrong... as someone who’s autistic I can tell you that that’s a world shattering circumstance.

Idk if Simon was autistic or not, tbh I was too freaked out by how much he looked like Lawrence to notice much else about him...

Idk personally I liked the finale even if I feel like it wasn’t fair. I like the story even if it ripped me up emotionally, even if it’s making me think about things I wish I weren’t thinking about (like whether or not I’m a good person and whether or not redemption is possible and whether or not somewhere somehow those who couldn’t redeem themselves in this life are able to redeem themselves elsewhere)

I feel hollow after watching the finale, but in a good way.

Yes I would adore beyond all belief to have like, a fic it fic or something that gives Simon a second chance... like idk, maybe he wakes up in the real world from a coma? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

And maybe when she gets out (probably very soon) Grace finds him.

But maybe that’s just it. Maybe that’s the end, full stop, he died, he’s gone, he lived a shitty life from ages 10 to what? 16? 18?

Idk... you asked about my thoughts and rn the main thing I’m thinking is just how much I really do hate how the fandom is this big jumbled mess of completely missing the point.

But anyway, yea no I lost my absolute shit when I saw him in season 2

Like I was /obsessed/ because of how freaking much he looked like Lawrence. Still am, bc wow the hair down look was wild too!

Especially with the “he went insane” scene... very Lawrence.

I guess that brings me back around to what I was saying about btd and infinity train being ultimately so different too.

With Lawrence I personally am like “yes my horrible son, you are a bad socially anxious murder boy and your entire purpose is to murder. Continue your murdering. Especially if it’s me or characters I relate to because I’m dealing with some shit and imagining you murdering me helps me deal with it, you funky little weird coping mechanism you.”

With Simon I’m like “You’re an ass. It’s not your fault though. I would be an ass too if I had been taught from age ten to do things the way you were taught to do them. Your actions are horrible and if you had had a fair shot at learning personal responsibility I would argue that you should be held responsible for them. But since you didn’t, since you spent your entire time on the train without growing, staying stagnant and forcing yourself to regress because it’s what you’d been taught was right, what you thought was right, all I can do is pity you. Your purpose was to learn to be a better person and you failed and I’m sorry.”

They’re ultimately very different characters for me despite how similar they are (obviously the way they look exactly alike but they’re also mentally unstable, started killing at a young age, have anger issues, etc)

I adore infinity train, and all its characters honestly. I really do hope there’s some form of closure for Simon but I’m not expecting it either.

Right now I just wish the fandom wasn’t trying to tear apart those who want closure for him. That’s so... outside of the point of the entire show.

Idk this goes a lot into my philosophy on life in general too I think, basically I don’t think there are people who are irredeemable. Not on shows, not in real life. I think there are just people who need help. I think that people deserve to be treated fairly and with respect regardless of what horrible actions they may have committed.

I guess I’m just really irritated rn at how some of the fandom seems to think that it was Simon’s “right and just punishment” that he died.

It wasn’t a punishment. It was just something that happened. People die. It happens. He didn’t die because he was a bad person. At least I don’t think so.

And it doesn’t make me, or any other fans, or Grace, or the apex kids bad people to mourn for him. For his lost opportunities. He was a traumatised child and he’s gone now.

And the ghom? Wasn’t it shown in season one that the ghoms are Amelia’s fault anyway?

Personally I think the entire point of the train is to work out your problems, full stop.

I think the only way someone is /meant/ to be able to die from the train is to die of old age.

The ghoms are accidental. They’re the product of someone else’s actions.

And sometimes we fall prey to that. And I think it’s okay to look at that and say “well that’s not fair.”

Because it isn’t.

I don’t know if Simon could have gotten better. Maybe he could have?

In the scene where he loses his sanity there for a moment he really did show signs of immense remorse and even confusion.

But honestly? Even if he wasn’t able to get better he didn’t deserve to die. And it disturbs me that a lot of peeps seem to think he did.

Anyway sorry this turned into a bit more of a rant than I meant for it to!!! >~<

Like I said I /just/ watched it!

But yea as far as Simon Laurent looking like Lawrence goes, I’m still a bit freaked out by that. The amount of times I’ve gone to write “Lawrence” instead of Simon in this post is way to high lol!

Personally I wanna know how gato feels about him honestly! Like she’s Lawrence’s creator and Simon really does seem like such a nod to her character!

Thanks for the ask, I got to vent a good bit! Idk if this is the convo you wanted from me tho lol :P

[apenapaperandadoofus]

001- Mysme

001 | Send me a fandom and I will tell you my:

Favorite character:

Saeran, Jumin and Saeyoung, in that order

Least Favorite character:

V, I’m sorry honey I just, I couldn’t, I could NOT make it on your route and sometimes the things you do annoy me, so you’re at the bottom of my list (all the other gals like echo girl and such are wayyy lower, just so you know lmao, V isn’t at the bottom bottom)

He IS a bottom tho 😏

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon):

Saeyoung x Yoosung

Saeran x Yoosung

V x Jumin

MC x Jaehee (MAKE THAT CANON)

And uh, I don’t know, maybe...

MC X DRIVER KIM (GIVE US A ROUTEE)

Character I find most attractive:

Oh boy, Jumin that hot piece of ass lmao

Also....Suit Saeran...he’s HOT DONT JUDGE ME PFTT

Character I would marry:

Jumin. Just. Jumin. Best life ever. It’s just, it’s wonderful and even though I love Saeran I would actually want to be with Jumin pft, even is Saeran is my bby boy, I just adore Jumin’s route, and he is so C U T E and he has a cat.

Character I would be best friends with:

All of them tbh, even V! If he doesn’t keep things from me tho -_-

a random thought:

Where the fuck did V’s hair come from

Also I really like V’s and Rika’s whole philosophy stuff it’s pretty interesting

An unpopular opinion:

Uhhh, I DONT KNOW PFT

Maybe that I really like Rika’s story? For some reason I don’t hate her as much as V (don’t get me wrong, what she did was wrong, but I absolutely a d o r e villains that are super complex it’s just, I love those kinds of villains lmao)

My Canon OTP:

Mmmm MCx everyone???

My Non-canon OTP:

Jumin x V yessss bby

Most Badass Character:

Saeyoung, Vanderwood and freaking Unknown. That man climbed up to THE FIFTEENTH FLOOR OF AN APARTMENT AND CAME THROUGH THE WINDOW LIKE HOLY SHIT

Most Epic Villain:

Rika hands down, she’s a great fucking villain, plus she’s hot too LMAO

Pairing I am not a fan of:

Twincest is a big no-no for me. Nope. No way, Saeyoung and Saeran are BROTHERS and as an older sister with a lil bro, I find it super blegh. I know that even if you like the pairing it doesn’t mean you support the idea or whatever, I get that, but I mean it still gross theyre siblingsssss

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another):

Hmm maybe Jumin in Jaehee’s route. They made him out to be such an asshole, and honestly, I played his route before hers and as much as Jaehee is bae, I did not like it. Especially since I knew what Jumin might’ve been feeling. He was just so out of character.

Favourite Friendship:

Saeyoung and Yoosung. Maybe V and Jumin would have the first place spot if SOMEONE wasn’t being a secretive little bastard (- 3 -)

Character I most identify with:

Mm, might sound cliche, but probably Saeyoung. I mean not the whole pushing away thing, but I can relate with the memes.

OH AND FUCKING YOOSUNG TOO LMAO FUCK HIM but I relate so much pft

Character I wish I could be:

Jumin. I would wake up everyday and be the happiest person alive.

Or maybe V. To fucking stop with the bs and fix everything lmao

Or MC I want to date all of them PFT