#tbh i have no idea what tw should i add

[risu442]

[mermaidsirennikita]

I read both contemporary and historical romances and I feel like ice queen heroines are extremely underrated. Do you have any recommendations? Thank you!

I loooove an ice queen! Like, I honestly prefer ice queen heroines to sweet heroines.

Historical:

When a Duke Loves a Woman by Lorraine Heath. This heroine isn't so icy to her family, but she is icy to men otherwise because she basically thinks they're trouble who just want to love 'em and leave 'em (often with consequences for the woman) and tbh? She ain't wrong. But then she rescued the hero after he's mugged and cares for him and he sees her tits and the rest is history

Any Duke in a Storm by Amalie Howard. This is a PIRATICAL ICE QUEEN (but she's also a spy). She has a hero who's like a dangerous rakish borderline himbo and he's like "yes? we do sex? we do sex and kiss and things?" and she's like "NO WE DO NOT" (they do)

Lord of Temptation by Lorraine Heath. This is of the "aloof because she's trying to be a lady and also her heart is hurt" variety. She meets the hero (another borderline pirate but also a lord) when she's on a trip to visit her fiancee and he's VERY rakish and VERY seductive and yes there is sex on a boat and later a lot of scenes where he climbs into her room to tear it up by via a tree.

Joss and The Countess by S.M. LaVioelette. One of my favorite ice queen heroines! Alicia is twice-widowed and is exploring London to try to find a lover who actually pleases her (because neither of her husbands did). She's basically been fucking the wrong dudes and so she thinks she's frigid, until the servant she's been using as a bodyguard, Joss (who is a former sex worker) basically sticks his hand up there one night and is like "YOU WANT A BIT O' ROUGH?" because Joss is very dominant and can sense that what Alicia really wants is to be tossed around a bit. (How true of her.) It's actually kinda tense at first because he thinks she just wants him to service her and he's catching feelings but gasp she's catching them too. Also an older heroine/younger hero book (she's 39 I believe and he's around 27). Melissa and The Vicar comes before this and also features a frosty heroine (who is older than her virgin hero) but Magnus is more sweet and Melissa isn't quite as icy as Alicia, just super jaded. Both books, I should add, have discussion of past sexual abuse.

For My Lady's Heart by Laura Kinsale. And WHAT an icy heroine. Melanthe is a widowed princess who's known for having a heart of stone (and being a manipulative backstabber). She ends up being escorted on a perilous journey by a knight who idolized her for 13 years and developed this romanticized idea of her from afar and is quite... disappointed in her true personality lol. At first. Until he gets to know THE REAL HER. TW for medieval-accurate discussions of sexual assault, etc. Kinsale makes her characters have very accurate attitudes, and that can be intense but it's SO worth it.

The Dueling Duchess by Minerva Spencer. This heroine, who is a sharpshooter in a circus of women, has a very traumatic French Revolution-related backstory that leads her to being super aloof and jaded, which is hard because the hero, with whom she used to have a casual situationship, is a lovable rogue who reeeeally wants her back and For Srs.

Private Arrangements by Sherry Thomas. This heroine is known as this sort of jaded icy vamp, and she and her husband have been separated for ten years (basically since the day after the wedding). She asks for a divorce so that she can marry her lover, and he's like "hmmm give me an heir first", so they agree to fuck it out until she's pregnant and the baby is born. Very emotional.

Once More, My Darling Rogue by Lorraine Heath. This book has an ice queen who's really also just a brat lol. She treats the hero like shit because he's a former street kid who was adopted by a duke and duchess. Then he fishes her out of a river and she has amnesia, and he has the bright idea to wreak revenge by telling her she's his housekeeper lmao and making her wash his back and shit. But it's only supposed to be for a week! Then he'll tell her the truth... (If you've seen Overboard, this is that but historical.) TW for past sexual abuse.

The Perfect Crimes of Marian Hayes by Cat Sebastian. This heroine is aloof and icy because she was married to an asshole. Little does she know that the guy sending her blackmail letters is that asshole's secret son. Also, she doesn't realize that the blackmailer is falling in love with her through their back and forth letters (because she's like nice try dumbass and it turns into a correspondence). Adventure ensues. She also has a baby, and I like that though she loves the baby, it doesn't diminish her ice queen-ness? Like, she is still rather aloof and caring but not cuddly.

Waking Up with the Duke by Lorraine Heath. Lorraine does love an ice queen and Jayne is one of her best. She's kind but has sort of been made frosty by trauma. Her husband had a carriage accident that rendered him impotent, and she miscarried shortly after and has been caring for him since. The issue is that he doesn't give her any romance or really affection. But then he asks his best friend, a NOTORIOUSLY GREAT IN BED MAN to sleep with Jayne and get her pregnant so that he can have an heir and Jayne can have the baby she's always wanted. She agrees reluctantly... BUT NO KISSING. Such an amazing melting ice queen book.

Between the Devil and Desire by Lorraine Heath. Another all time favorite, and another fabulous heroine. Really, one of my top heroines. Olivia is another one whose husband was nice but not emotionally or physically there for her, and now she's widowed with a young son. But then, notorious gambling hell owner Jack Dodger is named as her son's guardian in her husband's will, even though he barely knew this man! It's so great to see this haughty ice queen get turned into an emotional mess by like, the first man who's ever gotten her going. It's really a sexual awakening book in a lot of ways because Olivia goes from being "GET AWAY FROM ME POOR" to drunkenly telling him that HE MUST NOT KISS HER knowing that her always does the opposite of what she asks lmao

When a Rogue Meets His Match by Elizabeth Hoyt. This heroine, who I kid you not is named Messalina, hates the hero a lot because he's her evil uncle's fixer. The evil uncle knows he wants her, so he's like "do this last job and you can have her". But she's determined to have her revenge. I read this when I was first getting back into romance and I really need to reread because I remember it being bonkers lol

Duchess by Day, Mistress by Night by Stacy Reid. Icy renowned widowed duchess with a young son hires this lowborn fixer type to find her son's governess after she goes missing. And he's like "okay.... but I don't want money in return....." Cue BIG awakening.

Sweetest Scoundrel by Elizabeth Hoyt. TW big time because the heroine is known as an ice queen and this is part due to her trauma surrounding childhood abuse. It is another huge favorite of mine, however. The hero is trying to start a pleasure garden, and the heroine basically sweeps in like "oh no you fucking don't" because her brother is his patron (I think) and she's handling her brother's affairs. The hero, a major rake type, is like "you bitch" but gradually gets to know her and realizes what's going on and starts helping her get comfortable with sex and men. It's honestly both very hot and VERY sweet, and it's this very gradual escalation that begins with a lot of mutual masturbation lol. And also a scene in which they're in a moving carriage and he realizes she's looking at his dick and he's like "I mean I can jack off in front of you if you want" and she's like "I WANT". One of the hottest scenes I've ever read tbh.

Contemporary:

The Hot Shot by Kristen Callihan. The hero is a rookie phenom quarterback, and the heroine is the photographer in charge of shooting this nude calendar starring the team. She's very frosty to him, but they become friends and then ROOMMATES and then slowly they work towards acknowledging their own trauma and stuff. TW because this is one deals with things like infertility, and especially his own trauma about a later-term pregnancy loss he experienced with another woman. I was actually really impressed with it tbh, because you rarely see pregnancy loss discussed from a hero's POV.

Salt in the Wound/Salt Kiss by Sierra Simone. Salt in the Wound is the prequel novella (kind of a long novella lol) from the heroine's POV, whereas she's majorly present in the back third of Salt Kiss but it's from the hero's POV. Would recommend reading in order. Isolde is a total ice queen, but she has this secret dark side... and a kinky, masochistic side. This is MMF, I discuss it a lot lol, but I really like the contrasting sides of her with Mark, who's similarly icy and very dominant, and Tristan, who's submissive with Mark but kinda like... dominant in the bedroom with Isolde, and soft out of the bedroom with her. Tristan also calls her "honey" DURING. A lot. And boy did that unexpectedly work for me.

Jana Goes Wild by Farah Heron. Love this one, the heroine had a fling with the hero in the past before finding out he was married (!) and then she turns out to be pregnant. Flash forward five years and they're polite coparents who end up in the same destination wedding party. She's understandably QUITE cold to him, but.... feelings arise.........

Lush Money by Angelina M. Lopez. This is the one with the billionaire heroine who offers to bail out the prince hero's tiny country in exchange for him marrying and impregnating her. Roxanne is a fabulously difficult, icy heroine who slooowly begins to melt.

[orionicchaos]

Blushing mess | genshin x gn!reader

× gn!reader | they/them pronouns

× headcanons

× characters : diluc, kaeya, albedo, venti, razor, bennett, zhongli, tartaglia, xiao, chongyun, xingqiu, ayato, itto, kazuha, thomas, heizou, gorou, cyno, tighnari, al haitham, scaramouche

🌺

TW : fluff, but slightly suggestive in some parts (zhongli and maybe heizou idk) no proofread

others warnings : modern!au and non-modern!au (it depends lol) pre-established relationship and non-established relationship, they are kinda simping for you tbh, favourism in venti, zhongli, ayato, albedo etc parts, poorly written for some.. [male version]

summary : they couldn't help the red blush on their face, they couldn't help the warm in their cheeks, ears and neck, and worst, they couldn't hide it from you

a.n. : is this fucking repetitive? Hell yeah! do i lack vocabulary? also! still, i hope you'll enjoy, also if you want any other characters just say it! likes, comments and reblogs are highly appreciated too, especially comments !

navi.

♪¸¸.•*¨*•.

Diluc

-honestly, it's not even that hard to fluster him, he's (internally) easily flustered

-BUT, good luck trying to catch a reaction out of him

-Man knows how to hide his emotions, and i mean HE REALLY KNOWS

-Even catching the smallest hint of blush is a huge victory

-Diluc could be in a "screaming, blushing hard, crying his eyeballs out, throwing up, banging his head against the wall" state and you'd have no idea

-There's only one thing you can do to make him blush : surprise him with small kisses on the forehead when he expects it the least and then he BLUSHES

-Depends of the moment, but it can go from a very tiny blush to a big fat reddish blush that you can also see on his neck

-To aggravate the blush, you can always kiss him again and again, and again..

-He's act like nothing is happening, but man you know he's so flustered hehe

...

-Diluc? You call him

–Yes darling? He answers, the nose so close to the papers he's working on that it almost touch them.

–Can you look at me?

He raises his head and smiles at you, waiting for you to ask for something. To his surprise, you simply smirk, the one you pull when you're about to tease him, and you give him a butterfly kiss on the lips.

He can't say anything, the face redder than his hair and a silent scream hanging from his almost trembling lower lip.

Kaeya

-Kind of guy to flirt just to hide the fact that he's so easily flustered it physically hurts

-So whenever you flirt back it's the end of him

-Big big messy blush is reserved for the times you are both lying on the couch, and that you're playing with his hair while saying every compliments crossing your mind

-He tries to flirt back and keep his composure but oh baby, you just talk so fast he can't keep up

-if you add forehead kisses he might die

...

As you enter the room, Kaeya raises his head and greets you with a charming smile.

-My, my, what a beautiful partner I have. Maybe you should come closer so I can see you better.

-Not as pretty, handsome and mesmerizing as you, my darling, you slyly add.

He swears under his breath that he's going to die one day. You slowly approach the couch, then take his chin between your fingers. You slowly kiss him and take the lead, while stroking a strand of his hair. You withdraw from the kiss, smirking as he bites his lower lip, trying to hide the reddish blush on his cheeks.

Albedo

-Good luck

-I mean, you never saw him blush before, so you don't even know if it's possible

-You two weren't even that close, you did some school projects together but nothing crazy

-Still, you had a silly little crush (no, in fact you were so deep in love with him) on him, and don't know if your feelings are reciprocated

-You were kinda nervous (an understatement) about it, not knowing what to do of your feelings

-You tried to bury them deep in your chest but they kept flooding out of your heart

-One day though, you decided to confess

-On a cold evening of winter, you decided that it was the right moment.

...

Sitting in front of him at a small table in the library, you were listening to his understanding of the subject for this semester's project. The wind was loud and violently smashing the window's glass, the air was cold. You tried to focus on what Albedo was saying in vain, too busy scrutinizing the way his lips moved at each word and the disposition of his hair framing his face. You sighed, and thus caught Albedo's attention.

-Is something wrong, dear?

You heart clunched pleasantly in your rib cage, holding for dear life to this tiny hope that he liked you back. You shook your head, and tried to search for words. Your mouth was dry, and you had a strange sensation in your throat, maybe it was attempting to prevent the words from coming out.

The blond looked at you, uncertain of what to think. He found himself unable to continue his explanation, disturbed by your sudden gaze on his person. His heart missed a beat when you suddenly spoke.

-Albedo, be my boyfriend. Please.

It was almost as if you were begging him to. As if it was a necessity, as if you knew his feelings for you. Did you know?

–I like the way you... I like you. Please, it may seems sudden but I really thought about it and I really want to love you as a partner because being friend isn't enough. Because it hurt and I don't want it to hurt.

Not knowing what to say, he looked quite a long time at his feet. When he decided to meet your gaze again, you seemed so serious and sincere it made his cheeks warm, and he blushed.

Venti

-I'd say it's easy to make him blush but at the same time, not that easy

-He already has light pink cheeks most of the time, either due to alcohol or just when he's with you, because you always make him happy and his cheeks naturally tend to be pink

-You know that guy has no shame, he's thousands years old and knows every songs (including the ones that are yk.. come on you can't tell there isn't some poems which are about seggs)

-If you want to make him flustered flustered, good luck

-You have to find the most beautiful compliment in the world or he'll just chuckle a little before complimenting you in return (he's better than you at making you flustered)

-The easiest way may be to wait for an early morning when he's not fully awake yet.

...

The early morning's sunrays were shining through the window and into your bedroom, as you opened one eye to see the sleepy face of your boyfriend. You stared at his peaceful features. His nose, his round cheeks, his long eyelashes, and the way his hair was beautifying his already pretty face just as if he was made to be beautiful.

You let out a silent sigh, a small pount on your lips, and suddenly you felt like you were made to admire every details of his beauty, and to make songs about it to make sure the world knows it too. With a single light touch on the cheek, you woke him up and decided you should kiss him everywhere and so you did.

He was not fully awake and was still trying to understand what was going on. He felt your lips on his skin, your hand on his cheek and your other hand slightly pulling on his hair and it felt so unreal he thought it was a dream. Unconsciously, he moved his head so he could reach your mouth, his fingers grabbing the bed's sheets like his life depended on it.

His eyes were half closed and locked on your lips, but when he opened then wider and met your gaze, he saw a kind of fascination, like if these eyes were looking at something beautiful, almost out of this world, an unknown wonder hidden behind layers of mysteries unsolved. His heartbeats started to quicken when he remembered these eyes were looking at him, reaching for the soul laying in his heart. Maybe it was thanks to the intimacy of the moment, but his whole body was now radiating an alarming heat and his face, ears and neck were red.

–Hello, darling, you said as you kissed his nose.

His silence was so loud of love for you that the sun greeted you both with its warm and brilliant embrace, and Venti smiled.

Razor

-I don't know if he's never blushing because he doesn't understand what is going on most of the time or if he's always blushing because of anything you do

-That one is kinda fifty fifty tbh

-You two are friends, or bestfriends I may say

-He's so confused because he started feeling "weird" around you some months ago (he's in love yk yk)

...

A small smile curled on Razor's lips when he found you half asleep, laying against a tree. He didn't know from where the desire to sit down next to you came, but he accepted it nonetheless. Sat on the grass a few inches next to you, he extended his legs a little to find a comfortable position, taking care not to soil his school uniform's pants.

You smiled to yourself as you opened one eye, took his hand in yours, and he turned his head to hide it from you.

–Hello, Razor, you said while stroking his palm, and he stayed silent for a few moments.

-Hello, Y/n.

And you could see the red on his neck. If you had tried a little more, you could've seen his deeply pink cheecks.

Bennett

-One of the easiest to fluster, boy's a blushing mess 24/7

-Whatever you say, whatever you do...

-And you both aren't even in a relationship! (yet)

-If you want to really make him blush like he never blushed before, there's still one thing you can do : you have to lean close to his face, maintain the eyes contact, slightly touch his shoulder or whatever and say "I love you"

-Basically confess

-Boy's almost melting, he's so red I'm not even joking

....

You were both lying on the bed like friends do, in a small castle made of pillows and blanckets, all warm and comfy. It was one of these calm yet slightly flustering moments for Bennett, because you were so close to him and he could almost feel your breath on his neck and it felt so good knowing you were right next to him but he was also so in love with you and so shy about comfessing and his heart was about to melt. His whole body was so warm and his cheeks were already tainted with pink.

Like the little asshole you were, you started to move even closer to him, making sure both of your shoulders touched each other, leaving your hot breath on his skin like a burn.

Heart bumping in his chest, he turned his head so he could see you and your teasing smirk, so your eyes met.

-Hey Bennett, I love you, you mutter with a laugh, never breacking the eyes contact.

You could see his whole face becoming red and his eyes widening, as the commisures of his mouth curled into stunned grimace.

You putting your hand on his arm had him definitely dying as he started to stutter words you couldn't understand.

Zhongli

-It takes a lot to make him blush

-He's always so calm, confident, unbothered

-You two have a complicated relationship, basically you're supposed to be sex friends the night and to hate each other the day but you both fucked up and fell in love, yet refused to admit it

-You know because you were supposed to NOT fall in love

-So yeah complicated

-Another man who needs a whole ass confession to blush

...

The moon was already high in the sky when you came back home, Zhongli's hand in yours as your fingers squeezed his knuckles, almost running to your bedroom. He was surprised by the urge in your movements, as if he wasn't feeling his own heart at the verge of giving up on its job - keeping him alive until you kissed him.

Grabbing his collar with your gloved hands, you pushed him on the mattress, and you stared at him with a confused expression on your face. You were on top of him, sat on his thighs and fingers stroking his neck, while he looked at you with hopeful eyes, expecting you to give him what he wanted, and for the first time you could understand what he was thinking.

You let out a shaky breathe, closing your eyes for a second and suddenly you bowed over him, nose one inch close to his.

-We're fucking idiots. Damn!, you yelled. Looking so pretty for me. Just for me. Damn, Zhongli, I think I love you. Be mine.

Incomprehension filled his eyes and they widened so much it was funny. As he processed the words, his face became redder and redder, and you heard him swallow his saliva. You smirked at his face, went to eat his lips until they were puffy and he melted against you.

Tartaglia

-He usually is the one to fluster you, I mean y'all see what I mean

-He's not the one to crack a pick up line at every occasion he gets but he does a lot of compliments and always speaks before thinking when it comes to that

-Don't get me wrong he's cocky as hell but pick up lines aren't his thing

-He does not hide his feelings, even when you weren't together

-Now about the blush part.. Like Venti, his cheeks naturally tend to be pink all the time AND HE HAS FRECKLES yeah

-You can't do anything of your own will to make him blush, but there're also these times when even if you do nothing, he's still blushing hard

...

You felt his fingertips on your forearm, tickling your skin a little. As you noticed his head a little bit closer to yours than a few seconds ago, you tried to focus on the papers in front of you, waiting for your delicate handwriting to fill the reports and for your signature at the bottom-right hand corner.

-Ajax, come one, let me work.

He signed, retracting his arm, and started whining about you "being distant and cold and not giving him attention". You gazed at him for the first time in twenty minutes and chuckled at his pount.

-What about you let me finish everything that needs to be done right now and then I'll be all yours? For the rest of the day? Sounds good?

–For the rest of our life sounds definitely better, he said, and you didn't know if he was joking or not.

And even if your were supposed to be the one flustered by the compliment, the way you looked at him, with confusion, expectation, happiness and the smirk on your lips made him blush, as he tried to hide it from you, not understanding why he had that reaction.

Then, you let out another chuckle that melted his heart and he desesperatly covered his face with his hand.

"What in the hell is wrong with me?"

Xiao

-The friend who can't take compliments, like at all

-Is flustered by any demonstration of affection coming from you

-But will NEVER let you see his face, he runs away (teleport somewhere else you don't even know how) everytime

-Good luck trying to see his flustered face

-Good luck trying to make a move in order to date him </3

-He doesn't blush a lot tho

...

The autumn breeze was nicely brushing against your skin, and the music you were listening to was your favourite. It was a nice morning of september, one week after the beginning of the school year. As you looked for a paper in your school bag, you noticed a student standing in front of you, and the surprise of recognizing Xiao hit you.

He seemed confused, trying to find his words, and he silently cursed you don't know who under his breath. Maybe he has been forced to go talk to you.

-... What are you listening to?, he suddenly asked.

You smiled a little, and you handed him one of your earphones which you didn't use often because it hurt one of your ears. He accepted, sitting right next to you, as stiff as a tree. He nodded his head after a moment, like he was agreeing woth your music's taste.

You gazed at him and noticed a small, tiny blush on his cheeks, his jaws were relaxed and he had a small pount on the lips. It gave him a really different expression than usually, maybe a bit softer and maybe, his walls cracked a little.

Chongyun

-Has the biggest crush on you and can't help but be flustered and blushing when you're around

-His friends aren't helping at all

-Xingqiu, Xiangling and Hu Tao I'm looking at y'all

-He's always admiring you from afar and blushes when he looks at you for too long

-Nobody knows if he'll ever be able to confess because he can't align two words when he talks to you

-You don't have to do anything but to be you

...

The opened door of his locker was like a wall protecting him from you. He has been lucky enough to have a locker right next of yours and he cursed every deities for that, because he had to worry about meeting you everyday. He just couldn't see your smile without starting to have a tantrum in his chest and his cheeks to warm up.

Today was a really bad day for him because you decided to both greet him and smile while doing so. Like usually, he blushed and panicked, not even being able to say hello back. He pushed his head into his locker so you coulnd't see his face.

Little did he know that you noticed that behaviour a while ago and were just waiting for him to be more relaxed around you. Maybe one day he'll be confident enough to confess. But before that, you should try to act friendly enough with him.

-See you later, Chongyun, you added as you patted his back.

Xingqiu

-I can hardly imagine him blushing to be honest

-He's always so composed and I think he handles embarrassment easily

-STILL, he's weak for sudden acts of affection

-Little butterfly kisses on the forehead/anywhere on his face, quick hugs, compliments

-COMPLIMENTS

-He's a sucker for praises, (I'm right argue with the wall) just praise him and he'll melt

...

You left the bathroom the second your heard your husband calling your name, heading towards your shared bedroom. You found him in front of the mirror, trying to do something about his tie, a sheepish smile on his lips as he glared at you, silently begging for your help.

You chuckled a little.

-Darling, you're in your twenties. You're lucky I know how to tie this thing,

He pounted at you, before laughing.

-May you help me with my tie, my Liege?

You walked towards him, and helped him tying the piece of clothe, putting his long hair behind his shoulders so that it didn't bother. You then kissed his nose, closing your eyes while doing so, which seemed to stop his every movements.

-You're so beautiful, Xingqiu, and it's not because of the suit.

When you re-opened your eyes, you saw him smiling and noticed his red cheeks, as he scratched his neck.

Ayato

-That sly mf is the best at hiding his blush

-Smooth asf, you would never know if he's blushing or not

-It doesn't mean that he never blushes, he does (would never admit it tho) but you just CAN'T see it

-He doesn't want you to see his blush because he feels like he looks too vulnerable with it

-One time tho, when you noticed an almost invisible taint of pink oh his face, you tried to see it entirely

...

-Come on baby, let me see it, please!

Your boyfriend turned his back at you and almost hid in your shared closet, chuckling a little as if he was just messing with you. In reality, he was just so flustered he feared that he looked ridiculous. He was desesperatly holding to the "cool and hot boyfriend" image he had.

-I am not blushing, so there's no need for you to see it.

You laughed, not buying his lie.

-'Yatoooo, please ! I'm sure you look super cute!

You took him by his arm, pulling him out of the closet with a strength you didn't know you had. You both fell on the bed, driven by the sudden movement, and to your surprise, you fell on top of him, thus, you had a visual access to his embarrassed face.

He bit his lower lip and looked away with unsure eyes. He felt his already hot face become hotter and hotter as you admired him.

-Enjoying what you see?

His voice was almost shaking. The view felt unusual, it was the first time for you to see him like that, vulnerable.

-Yes. You're so damn handsome baby. So, so cute, too.

You cupped both of his cheeks with your hands, looking straight into his eyes, and you whispered.

-I love you so much.

Itto

-Big boy is actually a softy for you

-He fights he hugs but most importantly he protecc

-Or something like that

-Bro still believes he's in the friend zone because you called him "bestie" one day

-So whenever you try to make a move he's always "shit it's not that deep bruh move on my dude" but he's blushing like a mess and internally screaming

...

-Hey Itto, I was wondering... Would you like to go on a dinner with me?

Your sudden question made him stop talking in the middle of a sentence. He blinked once, twice, and realization seemed to hit him, and his cheeks turned pink.

-Oh, you mean like a dinner between bestfriends haha, yeah of course my friend I'm always glad to eat with-

-No Itto I mean like a fucking romantic dinner between someone who's trying to flirt and a guy who's to oblivious about it, like come on it's like you're doing it on purpose.

His eyes widened and he went silent for a good three minutes, as you sighed. He smiled sheepishly at you, sharp teeth showing a little.

-Yeah, I'd like that, he said somehow shy.

-Good, see you at 8 p.m then.

You left the poor man alone with his heart that had gone crazy, his flustered expression and warm cheeks.

Kazuha

-He's usually the one that can fluster you

-He has a few haïkus ready everytime he comes back from travel

-But that doesn't mean he never blushes, actually he does pretty often, as your relationship is recent in a sense

-Nonetheless he must the the only one who does not hide his face when he blushes because he trusts you so much

-Did I mention the haïkus?

...

You opened one eye as you felt a cold finger at the corner of your mouth. You smiled as Kazuha greeted you, loving look directed at your person.

He dropped off his travel bag at the corner of your bedroom, deciding that it would be taken care of tomorrow in the morning. He changed his clothes, choosing a clean shirt in the wardrobe, and a pair of baggy pants, then joined you in the bed.

You took him in your arms and went to kiss his lips, strocking a strand of his hair, before you pulled out to chuckle a little. You noticed a small blush on his face before he turned off the light.

-Welcome back, Darling.

Thomas

-The "busy" co-worker you talk with once a week

-He keeps avoiding you because of his massive crush

-Whenever he sees you in a corridor he fakes having an urgent business to deal with because he's that nervous

-Convinced himself you will never love him

-Sometimes, he buys you coffee, tea, or hot chocolate when he feels relaxed enough to hold a conversation

-Always has a light pink shade on his face when he talks to you

...

There was a long and heavy silence as you stared at him with dumbfounded eyes. He seemed rather nervous, hiding behind the bouquet of flowers he bought you, waiting for you to say something.

He looked at you through the stems, trying to stay calm. You didn't notice his small blush. He sighed at your lack of answer, scratching his neck.

-May you accept these flowers?

You took the bouquet without a word, not knowing what to say, and you took knowledge of the flower's sent.

-They're really pretty, thank you, Thomas.

He smiled at what you said, relieved.

-I'd also be delighted to have dinner with you, you added.

Thomas felt a pleasant squeeze in his heart, and you couldn't help but chuckle at his small pount. You then gazed at his hot red cheeks with tenderness.

Heizou

-Good luck trying to make him blush, he always sees it coming and prepares himself in consequence.

-By far the cockiest bastard

-The kind of guy to whisper the most obscene things in your ear in public, so he's the one who makes you fluster most of the time

-You have to surprise him, and watch closely because you could miss his reaction

-He's so cute when he blushes tho

...

-Don't run away now, pretty boy, you smirked at Heizou.

Holding his tie with a firm grip, you pulled him closer to you, and pinned him against the nearest wall. He felt cold sweats pass through his spine, as he swallowed his saliva.

-What now, where is all your teasing? Cat got your tongue?

-Come on Y/n, there's no need to go this far, it was just a little teasing, nothing more.

He tried to hold back a nervous laugh, eyes widened of surprise. He never saw this face of you and was kind of regretting pushing you this far.

-How about you got the taste of your own medicine ?

His eyes narrowed and you leaned closer to his ear, then whispered some unholy things and left the poor boy alone, red like a crayfish and stuttering random words.

Gorou

-Another easily flustered man

-Please leave him alone when he's working because he blushes for ANYTHING

-You're part of the Watatsumi Island army but you aren't under his orders, yet you usually skip your meetings and trainings to join his just to have the pleasure to mess with him

-He loves you too much to tell you to leave tbh

...

Surprised looks scrutinized your figure as you approached the group, then looked back at their general. You smiled at your husband, hands in pockets, and went to sit down next to one of his soldier, in front of him. You watched his face slowly losing his smile, and he pinched his nose bridge.

-Y/n, we talked about this, Gorou started as you stared at him with malicious eyes.

-Ah yes, we did.

Seeing that you weren't moving at all, he continued to explain this and that to his soldiers, and you kept your gaze on him. He tried so hard to keep his composure that you almost laughed.

-Well, that's enough for today. If you have any question, please go on...

-Sir, are you free tonight? You said as you raised your hand. 'Cause you look kinda cute and-

He yelled at you to stop, stuttering on his words, and you smirked at his behaviour. When everyone left, you took his hand in yours and kissed his warm pink cheek.

Cyno

-When he's at school, he has to play the role of the student council member (we all know he is in the council come on), and he's super serious about it

-The whole school hates him for this but he's forgiven because he's just that handsome and sometimes (sometimes) nice

-The kind of guy who will beat the shit outta bullies with no hesitation

-Anyway, whenever you try some pda in school, he's all red and curses you because you "are distracting him" while squeezing your hand a little harder and silently begging you to kiss his cheek again

...

It was a normal day of school; people were chatting in the corridors, borrowing books from other classmates, some teachers were already at their third cup of coffee of the day (and it was only 10 a.m), some were strangely in a good mood, and most importantly, you found Cyno in the middle of giving a lesson to the poor guy who forgot to return a paper in time yesterday.

You smiled fondly at the scene, walking towards your boyfriend, and giving a slight sorry gaze at the poor student in front of him.

-Hey, Cyno, how about you let that man alone and try to help be with my physics essay? you said, an inch from his ear.

He had a small jumpscare and looked at you with widened eyes, stuttering words because of your sudden proximity. You pulled him out of the corridor, in the yard, chuckling, and that was when he seemed to wake up.

-Y/n! Stop preventing me from doing my job!

-Oh, you smiled. Honey, you're so serious and cute... You should probably be less serious too.

His cheeks were now harboring a pretty taint of red, and Cyno looked away.

Tighnari

-Touch. his. ears.

-Touch. his. tail.

-That is what they have been made for!!

-Anyway, he's super sensible in these areas and the intimacy makes his heart go badoom

-Also, cup his cheeks in your hands and smooch him lol

-He does not like pda but he doesn't mind you doing it in the comfort of your room, even if he blushes sometimes

...

Tighnari closed his eyes when you started to massage his scalp, appreciating the sensation of your fingers running through his brands of hair.

-Can I touch your ears?

He gave you a small smile, nodding slightly his head in approbation. You then started to pet his ears, from the bottom to the tip, while smoothing the fur, scratching it a little in specific areas. Your boyfriend melted against you and blushed from the intention.

-I love you, Darling.

Al Haitham

-Doesn't seem like it but I believe that this man always blush because of pda

-But just because it's you

-Like even the dirtiest words wouldn't affect him (well it would but that's not the matter right now)

-Just take his hands in yours while walking in Port Ormos and you get to see his small blush

-If you add a kiss he'll be all grumpy and will try to hide his face because of how hot his cheeks feel

...

You hummed a Sumeru ballad as you walked down the street of the port, peacefully talking with your boyfriend. Your little walks with Al Haitham were now going unnoticed as people were now used to see you and him together.

-Hey, what do we eat for dinner, tonight? you asked him when you passed by a small restaurant.

He sighed as he met the expecting eyes you gave him.

-It seems that you already found a restaurant.

-Nah... But you're right though, that restaurant looks really comfy and it smells rather good! Come on, we should go now!

You adressed him your biggest smile and took his hand, heading towards one of the tables, while his other hand went to hide the lower part of his face, and both his cheeks and hand felt hot to him. Likewise, he couldn't help the peaceful feeling in his chest.

Scaramouche

-His face is always red... of anger

-Just kidding

-Since he's new to all of that "affection" thing he's a little bit awkward, and even shy, but he doesn't blush often ig

-Hens still the one who wants to hide it the most, not that he succeeds everytime tho

-When he starts to call you a "stupid dumbass" that needs to "stop saying so many bullshits" it means that he's actually flustered and maybe blushing

-But he can be a tiny bit affectionate when no one's around, yeah

...

-Hey, Kuni ? You called him while serving yourself a glass of water.

-Hm?

-Do you want me to cut your hair? It starts to get a bit long.

You sat on a chair, waiting for his answer, while he seemed to be thinking about it.

-Don't get me wrong, it looks good on you but I thought that maybe...

-Is it true? he asked, looking at a bowl of fruits on your kitchen's table. That I look good with long hair?

-Yes, you smiled to yourself. Maybe a bun would look good too.

Scaramouche's gaze searched for your own eyes, and he announced :

-Then give me a bun.

You chuckled at his demand and nodded. You passed your hands through his hair, pulling it all together in a nice loose bun with two strands of hair framing his face.

-... So beautiful, you whispered.

And just like that, you got to witness his flustered, pink face.

tag list : @amyskmk

credit : me

[arabellameyer]

AN INTRODUCTION TO ME (plus side blogs/other places you can find me)

Hello everyone! How are you? I'm Arabella, and I love to worldbuild, learn about nature, draw, and a bunch of other stuff. If you have any questions about my worlduilding, let me know! Please keep conversations appropriate (no sexting or asking extremely personal questions). Here there will be reblogs of/art of some stuff you might find disturbing (body horror/gore), but I will label it as such (gore, blood, tw, nsfw, etc). It's part of my worldbuilding as you'll see here over time. But it isn't the only part of my worldbuilding, so don't worry about missing out on much. I do not tolerate any porn so none will be here. I've heard too many stories of people dealing with porn addictions and how debilitating it is, so I'm not even going to chance looking at it, lead alone reblogging it.

Filing system down below v

When I reblog stuff, I'll put it in a file system that is similar to my pinterest pinning system (same titles and such). Here's how it'll go...

(btw if any of these tags are of no interest to you, then feel free to block them)

Art:

Animal reference

Animal pose

Animal behavior

Art reference

Human pose

Guide or Art Guide

Landscape

Procreate

Ibispaint

Aesthetic/pattern:

It just looks pretty - I like it because it looks nice :)

Storytelling or Cinematic - the way it sends a message is interesting, and I'd like to use it as inspiration

Worldbuilding:

(BTW level 1 animals are animals found irl)

Level 2 - Like irl animals that have one little thing changed about them, like their color or number of eyes.

Level 3 - Mix of 2 or more animals that is hard to distinguish what the original animal is (like a cat/snake mix, was it originally a cat or originally a snake).

Level 4 - A change in the original species causes a majority of people to fear it, like deep fear it. Creepy

Level 5 - Like levels 2-4, but with a horror aspect to it (like snakes that look like intestines).

I've made guides for my leveling system and I'll post them soon, so don't worry if you're confused ;)

Dragons

Elementals

Hybrid

Scene idea - idea for a plot point or fun story in my world

Characters:

Characters - catch-all

Johann the discoverer

Damien

Mama nova

Void deer

(I'll add more as time goes on)

Memes:

Memes - general tag

Remember - has some relevance to it, whether or not it's a meme (just sorta a catch-all for anything that I want to remember. You'll see what I mean if you search through there.)

Scenario - meme that describes a scene, and I don't know where else to put it

Food for the funnies - this is where I put the stuff I actually laugh at. Not just a breath out of my nose, but a true laugh.

Derpy - •u•

Fever dream - lol those memes that make no sense or come out of left field

And that's how babies are made - I'm not even going to explain this one lol

Stay flexy - exercise ideas

Cute:

Cute - catch-all for anything adorable :3

Cute animal - specifically cute animals

Cute plant - specifically cute plants

Misc:

Recommend or Recommendation - smth I should check out (to buy or look @ again)

Pins or Enamel pins - enamel pins I like the look of.

Watch later - if I like the look of it but don't have the mental energy to completely peruse it, then I'll put it here.

Ok so that is my filing system lol. I know it's pretty long but I plan on using the references and stuff I find here.

I know I said this before, but I love talking (raging extrovert), so if you wanna chat or dump a writing idea or creature idea on me, then go for it! Heck, my commissions are also open (not getting them done immediately, tho) if you're interested (no guarantee on the quality. Just know I am still learning the fundamentals of art). Anyways, if you're reading this far, then you're one of the real ones (also, what's your favorite color? Mine is blue, but I like them all tbh) 💪. Thanks so much for reading this. I'll have a side blog here shortly where I'll post only my art so that you don't have to go through all my reblogs, lol. Anyways, thanks so much, and have a blessed day <3

P.S. this is my art-only side blog and deviantart. Here, have a mouse 🫴🐁

[shinei-shinonome-official]

Hi I'm Shinei Shinonome, professional artist. I'm here to follow my kid's accounts.

//ooc after break

What have I done

I decided to complete the terrible parents polycule so welcome Shinei, professional artist and everyone's favorite shitty parent

I should also add that Shinei acts more like pre Insatiable Pale Color (the close to gray event) so he's even worst

Yippee...

~~~~

Tags

shinei speaks <- answering asks, posts, stuff like that

ooc <- me

These tags are pretty self explanatory

Shinei uses he/him while mod uses she/her!

I'll also try to put warnings for posts that could be triggering (they will be tagged as tw ___) though sometimes I may slip up. Please let me know if this happens and I'll fix it!

~~~~

Arcs (yes I'm finally doing this):

#attempts to get through Shinei's thick skull

Anons and their valiant attempts to get Shinei to realize his mistakes. This took many many days.

Shinei, after realizing that he has fucked up big time, goes around to all of the Ena's to apologize.

#apology world tour (CURRENT)

~~~~

I'm also unavailable from 6am-3pm EST due to school (and probably for the rest of the day tbh)

I should also mention that I still have no idea how tumblr works so if I do something wrong please feel free to let me know!

Ask Box: Open

Feel free to send anything! I'm a big Ena fan so also feel free to also send hate (as long as it's not directed to the mod)

Anyways I'm just here to have fun so enjoy the hellfire!

Also if you saw a random reblog on here no you did not

[trash11037]

WOH headcanons (entirely hurt/comfort) i wrote in 2020 and just found in my notes

please bare in mind i wrote this in 2020, and learnt most of what i now know about mental health and such throughout 2020 and 2021 as i had the time to research it. Most of these will be inaccurate to actual mental health things but tbh so is the game itself so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

TWS: mention of abuse, SA and the general triggers of the game itself, will be under the cut for that reason. Although if these things are your triggers i doubt you’ve played/watched the game either way, but please be careful and don’t read this if you think it would harm you.

- Komaru and toko adopt the woh

•Nagisa gets a bad grade once and, while telling toko and komaru, starts panicking and saying how sorry he is (while likely crying, the poor baby thinks they will hurt him for getting a few marks wrong). Toko + Komaru have to spend the next hour or so telling him he’s fine, and have a movie night with the rest of the woh

•all members of the woh have something similar happen, they have a lot of movie nights

•komaru once accidentally said ‘gentle’ to her, just in a regular conversation (“kotoko, I’ll brush your hair gently don’t worry”, or even reading a book out loud that used the word and such). Kotoko immediately reacted to the trigger, and komaru had to help her calm down (the other woh members probably assisted as they had to deal with this a lot whenever any of them accidentally used the word, or Mon*ca used it purposely), yet again another movie night

•jataro would probably cause his own breakdown. Komaru would comment how cute he looked and he’d just spiral, saying how he could never be cute and how he’s disgusting and they should hate him and-

Both komaru and toko call out the lies in that, and they have yet another movie night.

•masaru smells smoke

They burn something in the kitchen, or they walk past someone who’s smoking. Anything to do with smoke and suddenly he’s back in his house and all he can smell is alcohol and smoke and shouting

But he’s with komaru and toko, not at home. The fires out/they walked away from the person and the smokes gone

They find a movie with no violence for that night

-the kids don’t know what Disney is

•well, more accurately, masaru knows what it is but hasn’t watched one of the movies, kotoko has watched one or two but never really payed attention and jataro’s mum told him he didn’t deserve to watch shows

But nagisa?

Nagisa had absolutely no idea what most shows was that wasn’t educational or shown in school (and even then, he probably just studied through whatever movies was being shown in school)

Needless to say, komaru forces them all to have a marathon of Disney movies

-toko’s class survivors and nagito’s class (if nagito stays in contact with the woh, which he probably does as they are in contact with makoto) help the woh

As in

Aoi and akane would help masaru get better at sporty things

Ryota would help jataro with art

That’s where the note ends, and i genuinely don’t remember what else i was going to add to it. i got really obsessed with udg for a while and wrote this during that but then forgot about it and moved on to other shows/games

[a-little-birdie]

Basics of space au head cannon style.

This is the general story idea and character basics. I’ll build on this more as I go. Thinking of naming it Give Me Space and will mostly focus on April. Of course I will focus on the turtle brothers and splinter and everyone else as well. Don’t worry.

This is pretty long, I was gonna add more because of Baron Draxum and Big Mama but I didn’t want to make such a ginormous post. Sorry.

Tw: violence

Story idea: The brothers live on their ship travelling around space just living their life. They stay planet side more than they travel through space. Recently they’ve gotten into trouble with a few other aliens but most notably Big Mama and Baron Draxum. Now they need to figure out how to live while being wrapped up in a huge net of danger.

So humans, this is a space au with humans are weird themes because it’s just good for plot, humour and a ton of other stuff! Side glances my angst. So how are humans treated in this world? They still aren’t technically an official species under the councils eyes yet so that leads to humans not always being seen as people. I don’t know how much I’ll touch on that subject in the story, I mostly wanna get the world building and stuff up first. Humans are a generally new species, especially to the further reaches of the universe. Not much is known about them except some of the basics. Most of them speak a language called English. They have an omnivorous diet although some choose to live a more herbivore life. They are historically persistence predators, chasing after their prey at a sustained pace to best conserve energy. They are very tough. They can bleed and are therefore, killable. Humans aren’t seen much outside of their own galaxy and are therefore usually a huge attraction.

APRIL O’NEIL! The one. The only. The short Queen. Can you tell I love her? In this she’s still the same age in the tv show but she’s a pilot in training. On a practice mission gone wrong April gets lost and crash lands on an alien planet. Eventually she finds an beat up looking ship that’s way to old to not be abandoned and decides to hole up in there. Only to find a rat looking alien staring at her in shock when she wakes up from a much needed nap.

Splinter, the man. The dude. The depresso espresso machine. This guys is still a human and an actor in the beginning, I can’t take that from him it’s a huge part of who he is. My thought is that he gets abducted by Big Mama and put in the Battle Nexus. The whole thing with Baron Draxum goes down and Splinter makes off with the turtles. He finds an old abandoned ship and decides to live there until he can find a better living arrangement. Spoiler alert. He doesn’t. The boys and him fix it up until it’s safe a flight worthy. So now his life is pretty Rinse and Repeat until he finds a Human sleeping in his hallway and doesn’t know if he should give them some warm food and a blanket or panic and call his sons.

Raph. The oldest of them all. The ancient fossil. Yes I’m making “haha old” jokes at a cartoon character. Literally nothing changes with him, with all the turtles tbh. As a kid he spent most of his time going out to find stuff to fix the ship but never went far enough that he would lose sight of the ship. So most of the stuff he got was branches and leaves. He also took care of his younger siblings the most and knows what’s dangerous and what’s not in terms of local flora and fauna. He didn’t read a book on it it’s just mostly from experience and watching the other animals. In the beginning, Raph is the most concerned with the humans well being when he first finds them in the hallway. It cannot be comfy to sleep there.

Leo, the smug man. The anything-but-straight disaster, the one that resonates with my very soul. Yes he’s still a theatre kid, of course he is. I think he’s got a little more sleight of hand skills though. Everyone in here is a little more morally grey. The boys kinda had to steal to be able to make money and get supplies to, ya know, live. Leo just became the best at it, his moral compass when it comes to that stuff is the most broken. When Leo first meets the human he’s actually scared of them. The human yells at him for getting to close and he screams. Donnie never lets him live it down.

Donnie, the neurodivergent dude. I love this man so much, it’s unreal. Sadly I don’t have much for him yet. But, he makes a translator for the humans English. He gets it to work by recording the human while standing near them, they’ll just shout and yell and he’ll just stand there until he has enough English to work with. Unsurprisingly, most of the words he gets are swears, detailed threats, go away, leave me alone and *insert guttural screaming.* It’s actually kind of funny.

Mikey, is still Mikey. He’s the ADHD, acrobatic, artist that we all know and love. Damn that’s some alliteration right there. When Mikey first got into art it was when he found some old spray paint cans that were abandoned in the area. After that he started experimenting. Over the years he got the proper equipment he would need, such as a gas mask, ladder to reach the higher places, etc. Him with a gas mask is actually kinda scary. He was wearing it inside the ship when he met the juman sadly and now they don’t like him. Even with the gas mask off. However the two find common grounds over drawing and food. So that’s good!

[calxide]

calx’s experiments #1 plans for my upcoming smaus

aye, thanks for 400+ follows! consider this as a special hehe. i will add my thoughts, opinions, concepts, ideas, and outlines in this post.

the smaus that will be discussed in this post are MIXED SIGNALS (kazuha's), CHEMISTRY (albedo's), TWO WORLDS APART (ayato's), PROFESSORS OF LOVE (zhongli's), and another kazuha smau. spoilers ahead!

✧ー MIXED SIGNALS :: ft. kaedehara kazuha x GN!reader

since this won (tbh i'd still publish it sooner than the others if it didn't lol) i continued outlining it and... unfortunately, it didn't turn out to be as light-hearted as everyone might expect it to be so i decided to make two (2) kazuha smau.

before talking about the other smau, i'd like to discuss my plans for this one. (i will be talking about the other kazuha smau at the very end)

this will be a very short smau (i think) so i decided to make a Tagalog version of this one (currently suffering, i regret this decision but it is what it is). narratives/written chapters are going to be written in full English except for the dialogues. the dialogues and texts may be different from each other, but the context and meaning will still be the same as i will not try to translate them directly.

also, don't expect to see the group chat that you saw at calx's experiments #1 main post ー i'll be posting a teaser soon (slay 💅). i won't discuss it much so,, have these tags and warnings instead lol

‎

✧ー CHEMISTRY :: ft. albedo x FEM!reader

TW bullying

i haven't planned much as of now because i want to finish mixed signals first before anything else. i'm still not sure about the length of this smau; it might be longer than mixed signals but shorter (debatable) than abyssal love.

idk what to discuss so have this:

y/n, the reader - you, comes from a rich family. she doesn't really do well in her academics but still manages to get good grades — which her classmates really hate. they blindly assumed that she pays the prestigious school to let her stay and give her good grades. however, albedo knows that that is not the case, therefore, he decided to help. the synopsis is subject to change.

‎

✧ー TWO WORLDS APART :: ft. kamisato ayato x FEM!reader

my notes for this smau is... e m p t y. well, oops, anyways. i really want to work on this smau as soon as possible but i gotta be patient ! also, are you guys good with idol!ayato x photographer!reader? still thinking about what y/n's job should be. do tell if you guys have any suggestions <3 i may not have much for now but expect a shit ton of angst

ayato is a famous idol/actor in inazuma. during his travel in their neighboring country—liyue, he saw a young woman crying. he approached her and offered her a handkerchief and— ok nvm im not gonna spoil anymore kbye

anw, i won't be making a tagalog version of this bc i'm too lazy (🤡), and, expect this to be longer than abyssal love bc there will be so much pining.

⠀

✧ー PROFESSORS OF LOVE :: ft. zhongli x GN!reader

‎if my notes for the ayato smau is empty, well, i don't have notes for this one.. HAHAHAHA what i have in my mind rn is just a cute lighthearted story,, bc i need a break... 💪

y/n and zhongli are both famous professors for their intellect and strong passion for teaching. students would always see the two of them hanging out together, and they thought that they would make a good pair — leading to almost everyone to ship them.

venti is the #1 supporter of the yn x zhongli agenda and supports his students shenanigans when it comes to the two <3

‎⠀

✧ー ENIGMA [stc] :: ft. kaedehara kazuha x FEM!reader

TW death, car accident

this was supposed to be mixed signals but it will be very angsty so i was like NOOOO ok imma just make this into another smau. THUS, the birth of this smau. ALRIGHT!!!!!! get ready for angst AND i'm giving y'all some second lead <33

y/n once live a happy life with her loving parents alongside their blooming business — but all those were gone because of a mishap that occurred one rainy night. throughout the years of finding the truth about the tragic accident, y/n found herself falling for her childhood friend, kaedehara kazuha. kazuha had always been by her side since the day her parents passed away. never did he leave her side, he was always there to support her. but... why?

AAAAA i wanna shout bc i want to do this one SO BADDDD i want to finish every smau that i'm supposed to do so i can get started with this one. i might publish this alongside Professors of Love but i think i'd be able to start this during the summer vacation (april ?) of 2023? i hope i won't be busy by then so i can do this :'))

tags sneak peek!!!!!

[gunsatthaphan]

doreen tysm for the bad buddy gifset. its unhealthy how eager i am for this series lol. 3M out of the 3.9M views on that trailer has to be me 😂 i’ve read the novel and i think i have mixed feelings that they’re deviating from it BUT IN A GOOD WAY. its kind of a double edged sword.

tw// spoilers

it has a happy ending but the book is a BIG ouch — its so sincere and realistic and really shows how queer people can get guiltripped and forced into heteronormative relationships (it actually has one of them basically get shoved into an engagement to this lady) and they spend half of their lives miserable because of familial expectations. it contains angsty bangers such as:

pat (ohm): “I don’t want to upset my parents, so I try to forget that my life is my own. I keep trying until sometimes, I’m angry that I have a heart.”.

“A child is only born to pay the debts of the parent, aren’t they?”

pran (nanon): “Its not about the age, father. Even if I’m older, I’m sure I would underestimate my feelings as a mere childhood joke. I’m sorry but I cannot control my heart.”

so yeah. that shit hurted. it genuinely was relatable and spoke to me. we NEED more stories like this :( i would love, love, loveee to see this story told well and actually in depth but knowing gmmtv and the nature of that trailer i doubt they’re aiming for such a deep social commentary, or pull it off well.

AND life is kinda stressful and i would not mind a well produced and not cringy show that’s a lighthearted rom-com with enemies to lovers. i would NAWT complain.

sorry to go off in ur asks. but the thought of us getting this series within this year is making me insane.

have a nice day!

AAAAAH ANON 😭 hard same. I shouldn't even be allowed on youtube anymore with the amount of times I've watched that trailer jkfdhgfd

I've heard so many things about the novel and now I'm starting to think maybe I should read it 😂 But then again I feel like that would give me a false impression if they're deviating from it? idk.

But anyway that sounds so good. I didn't know the story was that deep tbh lol but I love it. However I agree with you - The trailer is very lighthearted and just judging from that, it doesn't seem like they will go to that extent? On the other hand we all know it's just a mockup. So anything could happen. But either way I do think they will stick to the core parts, they just probably won't go in super deep. But if there are parts about (explicitly!) queer kids being pressured by their parents then I definitely believe they will tackle that. (Although I don't think I would want that engagement story dksfd)

But at the end of the day I really have no idea which direction it will go into. I would appreciate comedic elements but based on what you said about the novel I really do hope they add some seriousness to it and actually make use of Ohm and Nanon's acting talents bc we all know they would (and will) crush it.

xxx

[theanimesideblog]

Yo yo yo yo! It’s your local simp! I saw that you were doing request so I thought I should request something! What about bakugo and iida(Kirashima if you don’t do iida!) (separately) reaction to reader getting into a fist fight with someone who has been brutally bullying them(like beating them up or saying something dehumanizing dunno?) would iida try and stop th fight and scold you? Will bakugo hold you back holding back a grin? IDK that’s all on you ,dude/dudete

-that one annon who pretends there a host of a tv show while in the shower 🤠🎤

Bakugou, Iida x GN!Reader: Knock It Off

TW: bullying, violence, cheating mention (but no actual cheating), cursing

A/N: I would die for you anon you’re so funny :’)

Bakugou

As his s/o, Bakugou is always attentive but in a subtle way to make it seem like he doesn’t care

But he notices the marks. Your lies don’t add up, and he gets suspicious. So, he follows you one day after school

There, an upperclassman corners you, literally caging you against the wall. Bakugou thinks your cheating until the upperclassman speaks

“You fucking idiot. You think you’re so fucking great because you battled some villains that you’re better than the rest of us. You arrogant asshole.”

Bakugou is about to spring from his hiding place and fuck this guy up when you push him away, causing him to land on his ass

“I’m tired of this!! I didn’t ask to be attacked by you or those villains and I certainly don’t think that I’m better than you for fighting them. I think I’m better than you because you’re a jealous jerkward!” You yelled. That’s when the fight really got crazy

Fists are thrown, kicks are landed. Bakugou enters the scene right away but he doesn’t fight your fight. No, he knows you’re strong enough to fight your own battles

He would only step in if you called out. Otherwise, he’s cheering you on. Yelling things like “Kick his ass!!! He’s a shrimp anyway!!!”

If you get in trouble, he’ll do anything he can to cheer you up or help you out during that time

IK Recovery Girl exists but Bakugou would tend to your wounds if need be

He lets you know he’s proud of you and he’ll give that upperclassman hell if they try it again

He definitely gives the upperclassman a warning talk though even though Bakugou knows you’re a badass

Iida

Iida is also quick to notice your bruises. He can tell you’re lying to him, which makes him upset. He’ll push you a bit more to tell him, but he’ll stop once he can tell you’re not giving up any information

You two are walking home from class when Iida remembers he forgot he had to ask a teacher a question

Your ✨beauty✨ distracted him okay?? shhh i know he wouldn’t but,,,, the drama

You’re waiting for him when an upperclassman comes up to you. She accuses you that you’re only dating Iida because his family is rich and you come from a nobody family

“You’re a gold digger, you know that??? You’re a disgusting slut. Honestly, I have no idea what the hell he sees in you!”

She’s harassed you before, but after a long week, you didn’t feel like talking to her especially since she was calling you all kinds of nasty things

You looked her dead in the eye and told her, “shut the fuck up you pretentious little bitch.”

Annnnnnddddd she slapped you for it

You didn’t take that laying down so you two get into a huge fight. Iida comes in the middle of it and breaks you two up

He asks what happened and ofc he goes to tell the teachers while ensuring you don’t get into trouble

It’s hard to ignore Iida’s compelling argument tbh

Iida is so quick to make sure you’re okay though once things cool down. He’ll cheer you up and make sure you know that he loves you

Iida goes up to that girl one day and chews her out for talking to you like that. Even if you ask him not to. He wants to ensure anyone he loves is safe and protected, and that includes you

[seijohsfairy]

𝙸𝙼𝙼𝙾𝚁𝙰𝙻

In where your boyfriend likes watching you get fucked, and you are a bit too late to tell him that maybe it’s a bad idea. 

.word count. 2.8k .pairing. miya atsumu x fem!reader x sakusa kiyoomi .genre. smut (m), slightly angsty

tw cuckolding, tbh incel!omi, spit play, voyeurism, masturbation, praise vs. degradation, atsumu’s fingers (yes this deserves a warning, i’m obsessed), unprotected sex, possibly cheating-ish?

.author’s note. “I absolutely don’t thirst for Atsumu or Kiyoomi, don’t know what it is but I just don’t,” I say all bright eyed, you know, like a liar. Anyway, I don’t know how this happened either but I hope you enjoy it!

+

The first time was a once-off, you’d thought. You had been clingy all day, and your boyfriend had been so tired from practice. So he asked someone to help out for you, and that’d been that. No big deal. You’d been a bit surprised that of all people, he’d asked Miya Atsumu to do the job, but considering the setter’s long fingers had soon been stuffed deep into you it didn’t occupy your thoughts much. You’d all be going your separate ways anyways, you and your boyfriend back to your apartment, and Atsumu would stay in his own little world far enough away.

So when not three days later Atsumu was seated on your couch with a brilliant smile on his face, right opposite your significant other, it’d made you a bit cautious. From as soon as he’d gotten comfortable around you, Kiyoomi had liked prodding at your boundaries. Reaching at but never past ‘em. It made intimacy fun, made your heart beat and so you’d always been pretty open with his suggestions. But this had been difficult to grasp. “I want to try something new. I think you should let him fuck you,” he’d said, and you’d been able to close your gaping mouth just long enough to catch the intrigue in Atsumu’s eyes.

“W-What? But what about you, Omi?”

“I want to watch. If you’re comfortable with that. I think you’ll like it.”

Looking back, you had liked it. It made you feel desired, hot and flushed and it didn’t hurt that compared to your boyfriend, the blond loved showering you in endless praise. Telling you how pretty you were, how sexy your sounds and how great your touch. You had liked it once and twice, and with that, had learned to like his attention too. Slight touches brushing past your hand in public just made you feel like you had a secret of you three. But maybe you should’ve talked about it with Kiyoomi more than you did. Atsumu fucked you in front of your boyfriend more than he did himself after a while, and you started missing his touch. Any time you’d initiate something, he’d tell you to shower, and by the time you came out of the hot water Atsumu would be at the door to help you out.

“Yer a bit touch starved, aren’t cha? Pretty girl,” he’d whisper, pressing kisses to your crown when drawing you close. “I’ll make ya feel good, baby.” The more Atsumu came over, the less touchy Kiyoomi grew. But in daily life, he was the same man you’d fallen in love with, which made it so much harder to complain about the strange dynamic. He wasn’t touching you, but he seemed happy to stay on the sidelines and watch. And you were getting all the sex you could ever need, even if it wasn’t with your boyfriend. Maybe you should’ve talked about it more, but you’d been thrown into the dark so suddenly that it felt easy to cling to the strong arms wrapped around you every other day.

“Keep yer eyes right here, baby girl,” the lithe voice calls, fingers under your chin and aiming your face up. Atsumu hovers over you, pressing you back into the plush of the bed with his weight supported on his forearms. He presses a few kisses to your lips, giggling when you whine at his slow movements, before he trails his fingers down your naked chest and over your nipples. He’d been at this for quite a while, and you are definitely growing more impatient by the second. When you reach up to wrap your arms around his neck with another whimper, he tutts his lips. “Shh, pretty thing. Play nice.” He flicks his finger against your pointed bud as a punishment, before continuing his slow, meticulous movements a bit longer.

But you can tell even he’s getting testy. His fingers keep going back and forth between messing with your lips, your tits and your drenched panties, as if he can’t decide which of his toys to play with first. He smacks his lips before dropping his mouth to the swell of your breasts, starting to mark you up in the places the bruises of previous nights aren’t scattered. The warmth of his mouth leaving more obnoxious blots of color. Atsumu lifts his face from your skin for long enough to settle back between your legs, rutting his hardness against you with slow drags of his hips. “Stick yer tongue out for me,” he breathes, and as soon as you do he pinches it between his fingers to tug. “I’ll get ya nice and messy for me, don’tcha worry. Would’ya like that?” With your tongue still held out of your mouth, he peers down at you with those pretty browns for an answer.

Saliva builds up in your mouth as you breathe out, humming in reply. Always concerned about your pleasure first, he rolls his hips into yours harder. “Good.” He leans down to press a kiss on your tip of your tongue, and as messy and overly intimate as it is, you’ve long grown appreciative of all of it. Even if it makes you feel dirty, you savour the feeling. You’re more than happy to take it all if that means you’re being touched. You let your eyes drop closed when he lets go of your tongue, leaving it out still. Spit’s collecting in your mouth and going down your face, and the blond grunts like it’s the best sight he’s had in a while. “Keep it out, good girl.” He leans down to you again to lick up the length of your tongue, before he sucks on the wet muscle, moaning.

While he traces your tongue with his, his hands grab at your ass to drag you into him more, and you grind back on his slow motions to the best of your ability. His hard cock pushing exactly where you need it to, though you’d love it even more if he just gave up and fucked you already. Alas. When he pulls back to let you breathe, you frown at him and try to speak without disobeying his order. You compromise by pulling your tongue back but keeping your mouth mostly open. “You’re so nasty, ‘Tsumu,” you manage to mumble, swallowing some of your spit before you make more of a mess of yourself.

Atsumu just laughs, a soft, breathy one, burying his face into your neck. “Yer one to talk. Droolin’ all over yer own face.” He presses wet kisses to the expanse of your neck in between the words, leaning up to wipe some of the spit on your chin away with a thumb. “But ya look so pretty like that, ya know I can’t help myself.” He slowly pushes your tongue back into your mouth with one finger. Then he slides his hand back down your body to rub over your covered slit and to give a mind-numbing pressure on your clit. You groan at the feeling, both at his calloused fingers being used so well and at the way your wet panties feel on your skin. He’s quick to silence your noises with a proper kiss, lazy pulls of his tongue around yours and his lips melting to you in a perfect rhythm to drive you crazy. It still surprises you, how good his is with that loud mouth of his.

A soft click sounds through the room. You don’t have to look to know that your boyfriend is freshly showered, and will take his seat in the chair positioned right next to the window soon. Atsumu doesn’t allow you to tense up though, pulling back from your body to start shimmying your panties down your thighs. “Finally. Poor thing’s been wet for fifteen minutes.” You would’ve been able to start much sooner if he hadn’t insisted on a rule that you can only have sex from the moment the spiker is in the room, and not a second earlier. Hell, you would’ve been able to start much sooner if he didn’t want to watch you get fucked more than he wants to do it himself.

Kiyoomi gives only a soft sigh in response as he plops down in the chair, springs creaking. You open your eyes and are met with Atsumu’s adoring gaze, one which he keeps as he taps the sides of your hips. “Lift ‘em, please.” He takes off your panties and tosses them at the foot of your bed, before he finally uses those pretty hands on your dripping slit, working you perfectly. He swirls around your clit for a moment, dragging two digits up and down to slick them up and you’re already so worked up from all the teasing that this makes you shudder. He always is a dream when he gets to put his hands on you. His tongue peeks out between his lips when he glances between your bodies, focussing on every twitch and tug. He’s so pretty.

You take a moment to glance away though, meeting Kiyoomi’s calculated expression. His dark hair still damp, shirtless and slouched into the red chair, he regards you. His stare is blank. You can’t remember the last time he looked at you with genuine lust, but then again, you’re not sure he ever actually did. Even so it’s been months, you can barely remember what his touch feels like. The tenseness of dredging through the thick tar of your thoughts must follow through into your body, because Atsumu looks back up at you with a slight frown on his handsome face. “You okay?” You nod right when he slips in a finger and kisses you on the temple. “Yer so tense, baby girl.” The faint kisses down your neck and collarbones feel like heaven.

He rubs his thumb over your sensitive clit as he sucks and bites at both nipples. His long fingers curl inside you just right as soon as he adds a second and a third one, stretching you out. His fingers are so thick and strong, able to hit the right spot inside you every pump. And the added feeling of his breath on your wet chest, the weight of his body on you. You whine out his name, tangling your fingers in his hair as your back curls off the mattress. Atsumu grins, even with shut eyes you can hear it in his voice and you call for him again, the coil in your belly already winding tight. “Feels good?” he asks, giggling when you nod your head up and down without thinking. Yes, yes, he feels so good. He always does.

Your legs are spread wide apart, thighs trembling the longer his brutal pace continues on your body. “Ah— ‘Tsumu, I’m close.” Beads of sweat pool under your breasts, and you open your eyes long enough to catch the look on his face. There’s nothing there but devotion to bringing you pleasure. You couldn’t believe it when he fingered you the first time, and it’s still hard to believe now. Your body shudders at the sight. His thumb gives a particularly hard few circles on your clit, making your head spin. And his other hand is pinching at your tits, using his nail to flick over the peaked knob. It’s rough, but so good. “Uh, oh- p-please Atsumu,” you ramble, “‘Tsumu, wan’ cum. Wanna cum, please. Please.”

The squelching of your sloppy pussy fills the room, as Atsumu groans. “Yeah? Yer gonna cum all over my hand, huh?” The deep tremble of his voice feels deafening, you’re so close it’s almost painful. You pull him closer, wanting to feel him, his warmth, the smoothness of his skin, anything at all—

“Let her cum on your cock,” Kiyoomi orders, drawing your attention over. He has his hand wrapped around his cock, lubed up with lotion and jerking his wrist to slide over the pretty, pink head. The time you were allowed to do it for him seems distant. At the soft moan he lets out you fight the urge to call out his name, because that too isn’t allowed anymore. Something about breaking the immersion. You can’t help but think anyone would be hurt that the sound of your voice bothers him when he’s jacking off. Maybe you just sound gross— no, Atsumu loves hearing you. He could get off on your noises alone. And turning back to find reassurance in the man nestled tight between your legs becomes easier each time it happens.

You hold the immensely frustrated pleads that work up your throat to bite your bottom lip, instead just going along with it. There was a time where you’d have pleaded to let you cum, a time where he’d have his own fingers on and in you, where your begging actually meant something. But you know by now that the more you talk back, the less Kiyoomi allows you to receive. The blond seems almost as angry at the denial of your orgasm as you are, because the slight twitch of his brow stays. But as he stills his fingers, he curls them obscenely once more and presses his lips to yours. “Sorry princess, ya heard the man.” He then pulls the digits out of you to slip them into his own mouth, cleaning your juices from them with a lewd ‘pop’. He shoves his boxers down his thick thighs to expose himself, giving himself a quick few pumps.

“Bend back yer legs for me, pretty girl. I’ll make it up to ya.” He helps you lift your knees to your chest and runs the flushed, leaking head of his cock up your slit until he’s as wet as you are. Then he presses another kiss to your parted lips, and smiles into it. He pulls back with a low whisper, slowly starting to push in as he pushes out the words. “I love stuffing this pretty cunt. It’s mine.” The stretch feels so good, so so good and he’s so warm, you mewl as he sinks into you. And as you reach one hand back up to his shoulders to steady yourself on his big cock, the other searches out his touch. His long fingers tangle easily with yours, slotting perfectly together.

“Ahgh,” you moan at his first thrust, “so full. S’big, ‘Tsumu.” He leaves kisses all over your face as you get used to the overwhelming feeling of his cock, and you glance over for just a moment to the chair. Kiyoomi is dabbing at himself with tissues. You didn’t even notice he already came. You want to feel bad, you should have noticed, you should have— But then Atsumu switches out the slow draw of his hips for a faster rhythm and you’re gone from the world. You babble out his name and cling to him as the orgasm that was so cruelly denied earlier builds back to a peak, the heat in the pit of your stomach overflowing. “Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, ohfuckohfuckohfuck, Atsumu!” Your legs tremble, your walls squeezing around him so hard he can barely pull himself out enough to thrust. Black and white marks the edges of your vision.

You’re still far off from the world when you feel the setter’s lips on yours, but the vague words from your side filter in not too much later. Your boyfriend clicking his tongue. “You’re such a filthy slut, cumming all over someone who’s not even your boyfriend. You just need any dick to get off, tch.” You come down after that, feeling too hot but slightly cold as well. Atsumu pulls his hips back far enough to allow you a moment more to get back to yourself, before he touches your chin to draw your face back to his.

“Can ya do another, baby? I wanna give ya another.” It’s sweet. He’s sweet. You nod. So ever so slowly he starts back up, giving your sensitive body extra attention. You bury your face into his neck as he hovers himself back over you, his chest heaving up and down from the effort. “Yer so pretty. So good, so tight for me. Always so fucking tight for me.” You plant kisses there until Atsumu starts groaning out his words, your name over and over and you forget about the stinging gaze on the both of you. Maybe you should have talked about this with Kiyoomi more. No, you definitely should have. Then you wouldn’t be falling so hard for the guy your boyfriend brings in to fuck you when he can’t be bothered.

///

in this house we love and adore the miya twins equally and i don’t take criticism. he’s a fucking treasure, i will bop you on the head if you say anything different. anyway, this was my first time writing these boyos so i hope they’re not too ooc! thank you so much for reading, you’re all beautiful humans. (๑◕ㅂ▰)

[washymylifeaway]

hi! do you have any favourite fantasy/mythology esque sakuatsu fics?

Haikyuu SakuAtsu fanfic recs: Fantasy Edition!!!!

To the anon who requested this, you are an ABSOLUTE GOD. I don’t know if you know, but fantasy AND mythology are some of my FAVORITE genres of ALL TIME. STILL, I saw the esque and I ran with it (cause there isn’t a lot of like pure fantasy or mythological journey fics ie. my poor excuse OOPS LOL and I wasn’t too sure what would be okay on this list AHAHA), so if it’s not the right kind of fics you were looking for, I’M SO SORRY :((((((( May this rec list be up to your expectations!!!!!! (And if it isn’t, feel free to re-request :’))))),,,, ALSO, ignore me switching between Sakusa and Omi LOL.)

As per usual, pls check WARNINGS, TAGS, and SUMMARIES for each fic before reading and make sure you’re taking care of yourselves (since mental health is key!) Stay healthy loves <3

if you make me feel in love / if you make me open up by volchitsae (E) 6.4k // this is a reincarnation AU, and it has a major folklore/japanese-ish mythology (gods) element to it. This honestly MIGHT be my favorite from this list cause it’s just done SO well and I LOVE the reunion after the TRAGEDY :’)))) I’m trying to be vague cause I REALLY don’t want to spoil this fic at ALL, so PLEASE read it heh.

my love, take your time by bastigod (T) 9k // this is another reincarnation AU, but this time it’s with greek-ish mythology :’D However, the fantasy part of it is kinda on the back burner (ahaha oops LOL). It becomes more apparent near the end of the fic, but the build up to it is worth reading, which is why it’s here LOL. I love how they added Sakusa’s own memories concerning certain things, and how he collected pieces of them in the museum! The writing is so good, but also, I’m a sucker for Omi making lists relating to Atsumu hehe.

your flame will not survive in this cold tundra by awkwardedgeworth (T) 26.5k // this is an AtLA AU, but even if you don’t know the show, you’ll still enjoy it! I absolutely love this fic and the plot is really AMAZING and asihfkjahsdkfjak their DEVELOPMENT. Especially with the separation of POV’s in both chapters (and what we get to see which we didn’t previously) UGH,,,, it was so GOOD. (Their other AtLA AU fics are really good too, so don’t be shy, go read them as well LOL.)

one life, one encounter by bastigod (G) 5.7k // this is a japanese-ish mythology AU, with our first appearance of foxsumu. We do stan Kita-san and Sakusa being friends with one another in this house :D This fic was really cute and Sakusa is so baby in this (but in a GOOD WAY), and when he talks to Atsumu at first,,, HE SOUNDED SO LONELY LIKE I’LL BE YOUR FRIEND :((((((

give me a moment so devoted by volchitsae (T) 4.5k // immortals! YES! I really really like this one and I think that their relationship in it was SO cute. I am really into the idea of Atsumu being insufferable throughout Omi’s lifetime and them having INSIDE JOKES AHHHHH. It’s really light and fluffy so if you just want some love in your life, this is the read :)

show you my best disguise by volchitsae (T) 5.1k // this one has NICE Sakusa in it (which I think should be more common fight me) and their relationship with one another is actually good from the beginning :D I love how naturally it progressed and how we get to see the habits slowly build as they spend time with one another. Very good fic, but not lots of magic until the end LOL. (There’s also a lot of poetry LOL.)

both our hands speak for us and complicate it by volchitsae (M) 8.6k // MAGIC/superpowers :D FIRST, the puns are such a nice touch to this fic and SECOND we do love the yachi/yama agenda being pushed here. I really like the conditions Sakusa’s powers have, and how that added to the plot (and the ending for that matter, may there be a universe where they can touch LOL). Honestly, the magic is also kinda back burner for this one and it focuses more on relationship dev. but it’s still a fun read so I added it LOL.

Rain and Its Incendiary Properties by firtree (M) 24.5k // so we get some Sakusa turning into vampire backstory in this one, and the revelation of more mythical beings LOL. Bless Komori and tbh Suna for being some MVP’s in this fic, we do love the familial bonds :)))) But also, the knowledge at the end does give some second hand embarrassment so brace yourself LOL.

two slow dancers by orphan_account (T) 1.2k // AHHHHHH BLOND SAKUSA! Also, yes another vampire fic. What? Sue me. This is just a load of fluff and sap from Atsumu, and warning: there ARE twilight references in this one ahahahaha. (If you thought that with this many vampire fics on the list, you would be safe from twilight, you obviously thought wrong.)

crimson colored lotus by sieges (M) 16.5k // this was a demon slayer AU LOL. TBH I haven’t watched DS, but you honestly don’t really need to in order to read this LOL. It’s explained really well and the writing is AMAZING! It’s not a linear fic, but you can read it in order if you so choose. I know it’s a stretch for this list, but it’s just that good, okay? LOL.

how can I not be moved (by you) by Ann1215 (T) 26.4k // this has warlock Atsumu (with an actual REASON for his blond-ness that isn’t Osamu) and halfling Sakusa, who is eventually a sap LOL. I really love fics with familiars and animals so this fic was one that I really liked hehe. The ending? Embarrassing but we do love the love LOL. Also the second part with Atsumu’s POV, FLUFF like, yes please give me all the love :DDDDD

enchanted to meet ya by zantetsvkens (T) 4.8k // FAST BURN but it makes sense. I agree with the a/n at the end for the confession, so there’s that LOL. I liked this one because the tactful provoking was SO good and funny for that matter HAH. But Sakusa WOULD be more concerned with the window costs than Atsumu’s wellbeing (it had to have been said).

when morning comes we'll be safe by bestcarrot (T) 2.7k // another demon slayer AU even though I’ve never read or watched ds? Yes. Again, sue me. I know it’s teeeeeeechnically a stretch BUT fox demon Atsumu...... (Also it’s written so well I felt like I needed to add it okay? :’)))))) AND yes, I WAS holding onto the no character death (YOU SHOULD TOO), the close ending was scary.

a boy is a thing with fangs by unthank (T) 3.5k // foxsumu! ngl I’ll just be straight up honest with you all, I added this for the response Sakusa has to Atsumu when they’re watching SunaOsa play shogi in the next fic LOL. I thought it was so funny and perfect for that moment please. Just,,,, forgive me once AHAHAH.

Falling For You (Literally) by Anubis_2701 (T) 6.5k // clumsy Atsumu makes me feel some type of way LOL. This is another NICE, soft Sakusa fic (like i said we need more: me pretending like I don’t see the tag for it LOL) and it’s just really cute. There’s some medical tings that occur (cause Omi is literally a magical medic LOL), but it’s just very FLUFF hehe.

The curse of a blessing by basinnit (E) 7.8k // CHECKING WARNINGS AND TAGS!!!!!!! I felt like I knew what was going to happen, but DENIAL IS NICE OKAY. Honestly, it seems short with it’s 7.8k word count, but with the number of mental breaks you’re gonna need,,,, it’ll seem long. Also, yes Atsumu punching people (one person in particular) because I would’ve too and I love that person >:((((( It looks scary and confusing with the tags, but I’d read it anyway LOL. (If you’re wondering, the magic is that Suna and Sakusa are warlocks LOL.)

The Fox Prince by cinnamonlove (T) 13.1k // okay there are some INSULTS thrown (and lots of cursing LOL) and so TW: LOTTA CURSE WORDS. Aside from that, we see once again MVP Komori making an appearance, but also vulnerable SakuAtsu near the end :0 It’s definitely an interesting fic, so that’s why it’s here LOL. (Also it’s like fake foxsumu but not really,,,, you’ll understand.)

the echoing halls by ohwickedsoul (T) 11.7k // GAH THIS ONE WAS SO GOOD. To read it though, some background knowledge (or google LOL) is needed cause the mythology references are very strong in this one. But I love when Sakusa was so desperate (honor’d light AUAHFKJDHFKJS) and Atsumu was aboutta (basically) punch him LOL. V GOOD V CUTE IN LOVE? I AM.

Did I just take this ask as an excuse to read a crap ton of fantasy/mythology AUs instead of doing any of my other work? Yes, yes I did. Also, I know it’s kinda short (LOL NOT ME SAYING THIS but I did NOT (surprising IK) put some of the fics I liked D:), but I tried to REALLY narrow it down a bit hehe. I hope I didn’t miss too many good ones, and I’m sorry for not really staying on ‘topic’ LOL. I realized while re-reading these that a lot of them are just Atsumu like meeting Sakusa by chance and being like dang, he’s hot. Gotta bother him forever ig? Thank you for the ask, it was really fun and I hope you liked the fics hehe :)

[normal-thoughts-official]

Tw abuse, drug addiction, mentions of Shadowhunter racism, sexual abuse and all Camille related shittiness. (1) Right so how do we feel about Camille using yin fen to further manipulate Magnus and make him stay? I mean obviously Camille’s not the only vampire in the world but I’m sure Camille would convince him to stay with her and only get yin fen from her and the ways she could further manipulate and abuse him is....ouch. -

She could just up and leave suddenly and leave Magnus in withdrawal with no idea when she’ll be back, making it seem like it’s his fault she left and furthering Magnus belief that he needs her. When she comes back she calls Magnus pathetic, ‘I mean she was only gone a few days and he’s already like this, this is why no one loves you Magnus your just a pathetic waste of space’ and that goes on for a while, I’m not really sure what the breaking point would be or if cat and ragnor get him out of there, but either way he gets out and there’s lots of ups and downs and relapses and it’s painful, he has his family but he’s barley holding on and then introduce Raphael! Cause I love him and need to include some Raphael Magnus bonding any chance I get. When Raphael moves in and is struggling with his addiction Magnus tries to help the best he can but always keeping his walls up so he won’t seem weak and helpless like he feels he is but things happen insert some dramatic plot and tears and Magnus tells him about his addiction and how he understands how hard it is so Raphael can feel better cause Magnus is always helping other people at the cost of himself, is it healthy? No. But will that stop him? Also no. And cue angsty dialogue where Raphael says it’s not the same cause he hurts people with da fangs and Magnus doesn’t, like the whole aggressor vampire bloodsucking stereotype that I’m sure Shadowhunters love to use to their advantage and you’re a much better writer than me but emotions and bonding and lots and lots of angst. Djkajsjssf yeah you get it -ya boy( yeah that’s the name I’m using so you know it’s me cause I’m extremely creative )

love the name! sorry it took me so long to answer, i've been busy and i wanted to give this all the thought it deserves cuz u know me and camille angst and aaaa

i usually don't tie yin fen in with the abuse, i've seen that hc before but i don't commonly go with it (not for any reason in particular tbh except maybe that i usually use camille's abuse as a way to project my own abusers and since i never had any experience with that i don't include it in my hcs), but i do think the potential is great! (well, in an evil way, but you get it)

the whole thing about withdrawal is great because by that logic when she withdraws affection she is also withdrawing the venom so it's a double withdrawal he's experiencing and it's hard for him to differentiate between the two things, so it just ends up seeming like being without camille is even worse. and like addiction is a result of biopsychosocial factors so the fact that he became addicted in the first place indicates that he had been in a fragile state; and camille leaving plays into that fragile state, making his need for the yin fen greater, and then she isn't there to give it to him, so again it just feels like being without camille is the worst thing in the world and he just doesn't want to upset her so she doesn't leave him alone in this hell again

and then of course when she's back magnus is in a terrible state and she immediately uses it against him, saying that this is exactly why she needed some time, she can't ever be away from him, he is so needy and dependant and needs her all the time and he's smothering her, can't he see that she's exhausted? she can't live to take care of him all the time and he's just so selfish and tiring and this is why everyone but her left him

then you know... kicking him and kissing it better, saying, "look at you, what a terrible shape you are in, i don't know what you'd do without me", playing the good cop and further drilling into him that he needs her you know

and certainly magnus could get the venom from someone else but it puts him in a way too vulnerable position in front of strangers, risks other people finding out (i'm sure magnus wouldn't want people to know about his addiction just like they don't want to know about his abuse; it's ridiculous, it's pathetic and it's all his fault and he should have known better in his head obviously i'm not saying it's true but also just because it's one more thing shadowhunters and other people can use against him), and probably risks getting her mad. which is weird because she bites other people all the time, but then again, what does he want her to do, not feed herself? only drink from him? and he knows it's difficult to stop so why is he judging her for something she can't control?

but if it were the other way around she would lose it, call him a cheater and say that she doesn't deserve this, that she's done everything for him and this is how he repays her, whoring himself out for anyone else. it was supposed to be their thing, something they did for pleasure and for fun, and he had to go and become a fucking junkie, didn't he?

then later she comes back and apologizes, says she was mad but she had the right to with that he had done, and besides, she's really just worried about him, doesn't he know other people would use that to manipulate him, put him in danger? she's just looking out for him. and repeat

i'm also not sure what the breaking point would be but i think it would probably require some interventions from ragnor and cat, plus eventually these things boil. magnus is in a vulnerable position, yes, but he is still smart and he is a free spirit and he doesn't like being held down and treated like a toy and abandoned; he craves people and he craves affection and he can see how he's spiralling out of control, and i think for the longest time what keeps him tied to camille isn't love but guilt. this sense that he owes her because she saved him in the bridge, and it isn't fair of him to just break up with her. but eventually enough is enough, and plus, camille is not just an ass to him. he sees the way she treats other people, turn mundanes and then leave them to rot, and is generally a terrible clan leader. and i don't think magnus would ever want to be with someone who is openly vile and hurting others like that. he just can't live with it, magnus already has enough guilt from associating with terrible people and he cares so fucking much about others he could bleed to death from it. so eventually it's too much

don't get me wrong, he also does it for himself, and honestly i wish it was more for himself, but i do think the fact that camille is a terrible person plays an important part in him leaving her because enough is enough

about rapha!!!! you know i'm a fucking sucker for magnus and rapha angst and bonding so you've come to the right place, love of my life. i do like the idea of magnus being able to talk to raphael about it, say that he understands perfectly what he's going through. it's also interesting because they are on "opposite sides" of the addiction, and with magnus he had been in an abusive relationship that got him hooked to it, but like, it's still the same thing at the end of the day, you know?

and magnus is just like, raphael, this isn't your fault. trust me, i know what a person doing this to someone on purpose looks like. and it's a complicated thing ofc because rapha is a guilt junkie so of course the idea that he could be even remotely similar to camille eats at him, but at the same time he just... could never and magnus points that out to him, that his disgust at the idea is more than enough proof that this is not the kind of person he is

and slowly magnus helps him through his own recovery because magnus understands exactly what this is like, and he knows all the ups and downs. he knows downworlder support groups dedicated to that, he knows other people who have gone through it, he knows the importance of a support network and makes sure to give it to rapha not just in the form of himself (because no one can be a person's single source of support, it's impossible to take this much responsibility) but also by introducing him to other people like cat and ragnor and other cool vampires magnus knows. and encouraging him to eat more from blood bags because i bet rapha is the kind of person who refuses to because he feels disgusting and magnus is the one who tells him that if he adds hunger on top of withdrawal it's just going to make him feel like he needs the blood even more. so eventually raphael relents and starts eating properly

and at the same time raphael helping give magnus some closure because i think part of him still feels a bit like he was ungrateful towards camille and rapha is just adamant that that was Not the case, and camille wasn't addicted to his blood, she was using him and that's different. and just aaa raphael being the first person magnus opens up to about this that didn't already know him by the time camille rolled around, and them both helping each other and getting closure and being a support network without trying to "fix" the other, just giving options, listening, being there. ugh i love their relationship so mUCH

[jasperswriteblr]

Hello! Welcome!

My name is Jasper and I have 0 idea of what I'm doing. I do not write as often as I should, but I'm hoping to change that.

My main account is @flickerstone !

I'll update this over time, and add links to posts and whatnot.

Currently Fixated On: Glass and Sand

General tags or tag formats I'll frequently use!

#other peoples writing (or) #promotional

#reblogged from main (will usually be art)

#jaspers random rambles (for talking about whatever)

#jaspers writeblr writing

#jaspers writeblr art

#misc story

#jaspers thoughts

#tmwow writing tag

#jaspers writeblr ocs

#relateable reblogs (for stuff I relate to)

#reblogged advice

#resources

#oc [name] reblog (reblogged stuff that fits an oc)

#oc [name] (for when I talk about specific ocs)

#worldbuilding

#creatures of almera

#tw [insert sensitive topic]

#cw [insert sensitive content]

(I will automatically tag mentions of things like suicide, anything shared that may trigger seizures (#cw flashing lights), and other things I may think of. If you need other things tagged, I'll add it to the list!)

Story Tags

#glass and sand

#glass and sand wips

#glass and sand rambles

#glass and sand info

Important

I Do Not support:

- proshipping or any romanticism of abusive or pedophilic relationships

- right-wing politics

- terfs

I Do support:

- those on the asexual or aromantic spectrum, and pansexuality and bisexuality

- nonbinary people, neopronouns

- literally just making the world a kinder place tbh

You Are Welcome To:

- Send asks or submissions

- Ask about ocs, writing, or whatever

- Comment. I try to be as kind as possible.

The Almera Series

I mostly focus on a fantasy setting I've been developing for several years. It has several interconnecting stories that mainly take place on the continent of Almera, containing 5 countries and wartorn histories. There's a developing pantheon, two mortal species (Humans and Ceul), magic, monsters, and some other wacky things. The stories I'm developing take place over centuries. There are many kinks to work out.

TAS WIPS (hyperlinks included):

Links For TAS (will update):

- Almeran Animals, Creatures, and Beings

-.....

- Glass and Sand Intro

That's it for now. Thank you! And welcome!

[little-red-toyota]

Final good bye to the fandom

TW//Trauma, triggers, nsfw, sexual themes, rape, domestic abuse e.g.

This is gonna be a long ass post…

It has taken me a while to get emotionally strong enough to do this, as I will have to think back at some traumatic events from my past to address some of these things. That's why I waited until I got home from vacation with my family, as it will seriously affect my mood and mental health, and I want to be near my doctor and therapist, just in case.

And also, I know that the majority of those reading this will invalidate me and tell me I am making things up to clear my name. So, I literally have to torment myself to write a blog post people will just brush off as bogus anyway. But I will do it now that I am in safe surroundings. Then it will be off my chest, and I can finally move on. If people will continue stirring up the past, it will be their problem, not mine.

I think I should write one last blog post where I address everything. I have left the TTTE-fandom, but I will write that one as my final goodbye to the fandom. I just have to find out everything I've been accused of so I can properly address them all in order. I might leave out details of my life that is too hard for me to open up about. I know most of you will just invalidate me anyway.

1. The Stepney fic and glorifying rape.

2. My mafia-AU.

3. The Darin incident.

4. Being a pedophile. (Where do they get this from anyway??)

5. Running the NSFW-blog.

6. Drawing penises/boobs on trains. Drawing age-regression art.

Is there more?

Ah... yes! Faking my own suicide, of course!

7. "Faking" being suicidal.

8. Having the audacity to survive and go on living.

9. "Making up" my past trauma to justify writing fics to cope with it.

10. Being a nazi for being interested in WW2 history and for being Norwegian and having so-called nazi-letters in my last name (actual letters of the Norwegian alphabet).

11. Putting a white-supremacist flag (the actual flag of Norway) on my porch on family birthdays and our national day.

12. Being a danger to my daughter.

Anything else that needs to be addressed? What else am I being accused of? Send me a dm and I will add it to the post.

 Okay, I will bump the Stepney fic down a bit as it is the most traumatic thing for me to address, I will save that one for last.

2 and 3. The dark au/mafia au where I gave some TTTE characters some rather dark and unpleasant character traits, and the whole incident with Darin and the pedo-Salty was addressed in this blog post written by my husband last year, so I am not opening that can of worms again: https://little-red-toyota.tumblr.com/post/623743183795470336/in-light-of-recent-events

Even the thing about Toby cheating on Henrietta is addressed there.

As for the au, I never fully explored it as I started losing interest in TTTE around the same time. I found other things to enjoy and TTTE faded into the background and the au was dropped before I even wrote any stories, apart from the one about Toby and Henrietta.

Some people claim, like this lovely individual, that most of the characters were rapists and pedos. No, not most. Only one of each. And I did not write more than one story about rape and suicide. Where does this person even get that from? Someone who told someone who had heard from someone who might have heard….?

Don't spread rumors unless you are sure that they are true.

Anyway, it's all addressed in that blog post in that link. I don't see how this mafia au is any worse than other dark post-apocalyptic or violent aus. It mostly was about the diesel mafia and their illegal businesses, not about sex, even if it did occur now and then. I find the substance abuse in it to be more problematic tbh…  

 4. Being a pedophile.

I don't even know how to defend myself against this one, as I don't even know why people think I am pedophile. They only throw the accusation out with no backing evidence, so I have no idea where it comes from or what it is that makes people think I am one.

Apart from one claim that I had faved "porn" alongside "strangers'" baby photos on DA. I addressed that earlier though. As DeviantArt doesn't sort what you click "like" on, it all ends up in the same folder unless you actively go through it and sort it into categories, which I don't bother most of the time. It also doesn't say WHEN it was added to your faves. So, I can have faved an artistic nude on Saturday, and then faved my friend's family photo on Thursday. It's not like I actively search for porn, get all steamed up and then look at pictures of children. WTF.

The few children I have faved are not from complete strangers, but long-term friends of mine. Yes, it is possible to have friends on the same website. I have actually met a lot of my RL friends through DeviantArt. I posted photos of my daughter when she was a baby, they would fave it and congratulate me. So, I did the same when they had a baby. As simple as that. Nothing weird or perverted about it. Due to people doxxing me last year however, I deleted the photos of me, my husband and my daughter from DeviantArt, so it's no longer there.

Porn isn't allowed on DeviantArt anyway. The nudes there are so-called artistic nudes, and for the most part I use them as pose-references when I draw as it is easier to draw a pose using a nude base and then dress them up once you got the pose right.

"The very naked" centaurs I have faved. Well, I like the mythological creature Centaur. And as far as I know… they do not wear clothes, so how are they NOT nude? Look it up, it's a horse body with a human torso instead of horse head. I don't see them as sexual, but what do I know? Maybe YOU do?

I have no sexual interest in children whatsoever.

 5. Running the NSFW-blog on Tumblr and Twitter.

Yes. I was one of six people modding that blog. ONE of six, so I refuse to take the full blame here.

MerciResolution has openly admitted to being the founder, and she recruited me and some others to modify as the confession load became too heavy for one person to handle alone.

The original blog on Tumblr worked as follows: People would anonymously send a confession to our askbox, we would add a picture (sometimes photoshopped) to the text and post it on the blog. Always tagged as NSFW and with proper trigger warnings if necessary! The blog itself was also marked as explicit, so it didn't appear in searches and such.

For us, this blog was nothing but a joke. We did it for shits and giggles. If anyone took it seriously and thought we got off to the stuff that was posted, we apologize for that, but to us it was just for laughs. And we DID laugh a lot, you guys should have seen the weird shit people sent us sometimes!

We had fun and we never thought anyone would take it seriously, so we never thought of writing "joke" in the description or anything. It never occurred to us that it could be anything but a joke.

We also made a Twitter account for it, also locked for minors. But it was quickly hacked, and someone changed the password so we could no longer access it. We made another account and forgot about the old one…

After a while, the original mods started losing interest and the blog (both on Tumblr and Twitter) became less active. That's when a person I had known for years, and wrongfully trusted, came forward and wanted to take over ownership. So, the ownership was handed over to Russalita/Charlie.

That turned out to be huge mistake!

Me and the other mods had more or less forgotten that the blogs existed, when suddenly someone started bashing me and getting up in my arms over it. I got seriously confused as I hadn't been active on it in almost a year. But as it turned out, Russalita had removed the mature filters and made the accounts open for all the see. Even minors.

And as people knew I was one of the mods, they fired their guns at me. I can see why though, so I'm not pointing any fingers here.

I tried contacting her by phone, asking her to lock the accounts again, but she gave me a less than polite response, hung up and then blocked my number…

So, I decided to try to shut the blogs down on my own, trying the old passwords. It worked on the Tumblr-account, and I managed to password protect it, for some reason it couldn't be fully deleted. But the Twitter account had gotten its password changed by Russalita. I was however able to get a new password by logging into the e-mail we had used to create it. I deleted the Twitter blog fully. It can't be re-activated even if we wanted to. It's gone.

But it turns out the old, hacked one is still up and now open for everyone. And this one poses a huge problem as we have no way of getting into it to delete it. Only thing we have been able to do so far is reporting it and hope it will be removed by Twitter. So I only have one thing to say about it: report it.

I am no longer running any NSFW TTTE blog anywhere, nor do I have interest in doing so. So, if you come across one, claiming to be me or any of the other mods, it is false.

 6. Drawing penises/boobs on trains. Drawing age-regression art.

People seem to believe I have drawn genitals on trains. I have never done such. Any art on the NSFW-blog with genitalia on the trains were sent in by confessors and was not drawn by me. Most of them seems to have been drawn by someone who goes by the name "The Lance".

I HAVE drawn things for the NSFW blog, but there were no genitalia in those drawings. I drew Frank of Arlesdale looking grossed out by (I don't know what the part is named in English, but it is connected to the brakes of the engine) that stick-like thing on his bufferbeam being wet from whatever the confessor did to him. I drew an over-exaggerated comical pic of a horrified Peter Sam getting his face licked by his driver, who had an enormous tongue. I also did a couple of manips. Mostly maniping engine faces on humans, like the one where Gordon's face is on a less than fit guy flailing his shirt around, and the Arlesdale smallies' faces on a movie poster from Magic Mike. One with Mr.Conductor in a giant bun while Pinchy is applying ketchup on him, for a confession about eating him, I think?  I've done some more, but I forgot what it was, I only know I loved making them comical rather than erotic, as I saw the blog as a joke overall.

I HAVE also drawn aheago faces on engines because it looks hilarious. Though I have only drawn them on my OCs and the NRS engines, not TTTE characters.

Point is I have never drawn genitalia on trains. Ever. And I likely never will. It's not THAT much fun drawing NSFW stuff.

I see from this screenshot that a certain MK-Instrumentalist claim that all my personal art is age-regression art and infantilism…

Whose art have you been looking at? Because it's definitely not mine. I have drawn a couple of baby/chibi diesels… But claiming that all of my 700 or so artworks are depicting infantilism and age-regression stuff? I suggest people go have a look for themselves. I haven't drawn that. That MK-guy has been desperately trying to cancel me for ages for reasons only himself know. I don't even know the guy, and he doesn't know me, yet he wants to see me beheaded. Go figure.

I was for a long time bothered by some age-regressor on Tumblr who just wouldn't leave me alone with their weird asks, who tried to force themselves on me and some other artists here. They claim age-regression isn't a fetish, but the shit they sent to my askbox certainly looked like a fetish to me.

I don't want anything to do with that stuff. It weirds me out.

And no. I have never drawn pedophilia or rape art either. This guy can't even make up his mind on which one to accuse me of.

 7 and 8. Faking suicide and having the audacity to survive and go on living.

As many know, after the intense shitstorm against me last summer, thanks to Darin, I attempted suicide. I didn't succeed as my husband came home early. I was gone for a few days but returned when a young boy reached out to me for help as he was being groomed and didn't know who else to turn to.

Recently I saw a screenshot where someone claimed me to have faked suicide, and that I just came back after a few days when everything had died down.

Wow.

I am truly sorry I survived.

I don't remember much from those days to be honest, but as the load became too heavy and the bullying too intense, piling up on 30 years of old trauma… I decided to end it. I must warn you guys who might get triggered now; there are detailed descriptions of a suicide attempt. Proceed with caution. People told me I was a bad mother among other things, having had those same thoughts myself (according to my husband, I am a good mom) and people just confirming them, I thought that my daughter would be better off growing up without me. I could have chosen a more effective suicide method, but I was afraid my daughter would be the first to find me, so I wanted it to be clean and look like I was just sleeping. That way it could be explained as natural causes.

So, I decided to overdose on pills. I downed all pills I could find in the house that had a warning triangle on it (strong pain meds etc.) and then went to my computer to delete my online existence, especially the personal data.

As a former paramedic, I should have known better. Because after half an hour, my body started reacting. But not the way I had hoped and wanted. I started retching and almost vomiting. That's when my husband came home from work and found me. He immediately saw the empty packages and knowing my past suicidal tendencies, he reacted instinctively. He put his fingers down my throat and had me puke everything up, then he called an ambulance and had me admitted to the hospital.

I don't remember anything from the days I spent there. But I have been told they emptied my stomach and gave me lots of fluids. I was then assigned a psychiatrist which I am still seeing today.

I was gone for those days because I was in hospital, not because I was pulling some kind of trick and pretending to have ended myself.

So… I am sorry I "faked" my suicide.

I'm sorry my husband saved me. I am sorry the medics and doctors succeeded in saving my life.

I am sorry I survived and proceeded to live on. If I ever make another attempt, I promise to do better.

Why are you guys so persistent in trying to push people to suicide anyway? Do you get a kick out of it? Why do people have to be pushed to that point before you care?

What did we tell our daughter? Simply that I got sick and had to go to the hospital. She took that well.

I've seen a lot of people wonder why I am still around. Why shouldn't I? Does my daughter deserve to lose her mother over some online crap she doesn't even know about? I owe her to live and watch her grow up, to help her with her homework and whatever else a parent needs to do. I also owe my husband to stay by his side, like I promised him the day we got married. Even if I do not wish to live.

I'm sorry I survived, guys. Really, I am.

 9. "Making up" my past trauma to justify writing fics to cope with it. And 1. The Stepney fic and glorifying rape.

 First… why would anyone make up trauma? It's not like it's a competition to have the worst life, is it?

Sadly, I don't have to make up anything. My life HAS been rocky up until the birth of my daughter. I have been through so much trauma I couldn't even fathom it myself before my therapist listed it all up to me. Until then, I had just been casually talking to her about it, like I would talk about the weather. I didn't cry or get in touch with my emotions even once while telling everything, because I was taught from an early age to never complain, to suck it up and go on. So, no matter what people did to me, I would just smile and go on, even if it killed me inside. I did not want to show any sign of weakness, because then they would attack me. A habit I developed through years of being bullied in school. Never show feelings, just pretend nothing could hurt you, then they would eventually grow tired of it and stop.

Except they never did. They kept going through all my years at school. To such an extent, my boyfriend didn't dare to show himself hanging out with me out of fear of being bullied himself… And as we grew older, he would start cheating on me too. And I kept smiling…

My next boyfriend was a bit older than me, and while that didn't bother me, as we were both well over legal age, it bothered him. We only lasted one year before he bailed out and ditched me out of the blue via an sms.

The next guy… was the one who scarred me for life. Both physically and mentally. A charmer at first of course, until I was trapped. He was unemployed, so he moved in with me, and I paid for everything from food to phone bills. All while he was dating several women behind my back, calling various pay-phone services and in general acted like a manwhore. As I worked as an electrician (also being subject to massive bullying and sexual harassment at work), he would be jealous of all my co-workers and if I ever came home late or worked overtime, he accused me of cheating and was extremely violent about it. He would also isolate me from my friends and family, making me think I couldn't get any other than him. If any of my male friends (almost all my friends are male…) came over, he would give me such hell afterwards, it was easier just to tell them it was a bad time to visit. And after a while, they stopped asking. This guy also demanded sex. Every single day. If I refused, he would punish me, mostly by flogging me with lampcords, belts or whatever else he had at hand. My back is a criss cross map of old, faded scars even now nearly 20 years later. I would have shown you a photo, but I am so self-concious about my body after all the bullying, I hardly even show my face in photos. Maybe one day… but I certainly need more therapy before being able to show naked skin to strangers, even if it's just my back. So I had non-consensual sex with him more often than consensual. It has taken me hours in therapy to even take the word in my mouth and call it by its proper name: rape. I was raped, almost every single day for little over a year, before I found the strength to break out of the relationship and finally throw him out of my house. It all ended when I found some revealing texts on his cellphone, which he was extremely protective of… Texts that revealed that he had engaged in a relationship with a 12 year old girl, and it had been going on for a while. Not only was he cheating on me, but he was a pedophile too. Needless to say, I didn't even let him pack his stuff before I fetched my shotgun and chased him out of the house. I don't know where I got the courage and strength from… but I was furious.

I thought I had gotten rid of him, but no. He started stalking me in public. Hiding behind shelves when I was shopping, his car following mine everywhere I went. I received weird letters in the mail with cut-out letters from newspapers, glued together. On top of all, his creepy, old uncle called me with some rather disgusting suggestions and tried to come on to me really hard. I had to change my phone number, and after coming home to my house and finding out someone had entered my home using a key, only to empty the drawer of my night table, I also had to change the locks of my doors as he had clearly copied the key.

He didn't stop until I got the police involved.

So, when I finally met the guy who would become my husband (or rather, we found out we were made for each other, we had known each other since we were 11 years old), I had major trust issues towards men especially and it took him endless patience and love to break me out of that shell.

But the trauma doesn't stop… or start there.

In the year 2000, on January 4th, I would experience something that made me unable to even look at a train for over 10 years. The Åsta accident (google it). I was a volunteer in the Norwegian Red Cross then, and a paramedic in training. Back then, you were allowed to start training the year you would turn 16. So, I was still 15 when I witnessed the most traumatic event of my life. The day started out calm, we were stocking up the ambulance after delivering a patient to the hospital when we got a call with the code "500", which means "catastrophe". Normally when we get that code it is a rehearsal… so we drove towards the coordinates with the thoughts that this was just an exercise, nothing real… we didn't prepare ourselves mentally… And we ended up in the closest thing to hell I have ever been… The sight of the burning trains, the smells, the sounds, the screaming… I still wake up by nightmares to this day. Though the moment that haunts me the most is when the screaming stopped… because we all knew why… I don't want to go into details, but 19 people died that day. But we also saved 67 people. I try to hold on to that thought. The age limit for starting paramedic training was raised after this, as I wasn't the only one who was too young for an accident of that scale. Today it is 18. A memorial stone has been placed on the site, but I still haven't been able to bring myself to visit it, even if we drive past the site every year on our way to visit family further north in the country. I needed hours of therapy to even be able to ride a train after this. To have gotten to the point where I now volunteer at a heritage railway and is in training to become a driver, is a HUGE step for me. My next goal is to visit the site of the accident.

On to next trauma… A previous employer, a rather large electric company in Norway, whom I worked for 8 years. The first five years were great, we were a close-knit bunch of electricians, and we had a great relationship with the bosses and higher-ups. Our labor union was strong.

It all started changing in 2009 when we got new leaders… and those decided to get rid of everyone who were a member of the union. One by one, they started harassing workers in various ways, trying to get them to quit. In Norway, they need a legal reason to fire you, it's not enough to not like someone. There has to be a good reason to fire someone e.g. theft, neglecting work… Since they didn't have any reasons to fire us, they started making our work lives gradually harder and harder until we would break and find another job. Sadly, one of my co-workers couldn't stand the pressure… He bid us all farewell as normal one Friday and hung himself the following day.. But as I was a girl in a male-dominated profession, I had been taught at an early stage to ignore anything that would hurt me emotionally, just arch my neck and plow through. I kept doing that, despite starting to feel more and more mental and physical pains… even my co-workers pointed out how I was being mistreated before I acknowledged it myself. I tried to tell my boss, but he reacted by treating me worse. So, I went to his boss… and that's when things went to hell. Instead of doing his job and listen, he started harassing me too. He deemed my over-weight a problem, and he started demanding I gave him detailed lists of what I ate and how much I worked out… Completely illegal of course, but by this point I was broken down to the point I thought I was useless and couldn't get another job… so I accepted. He started accusing me of lying about my exercise, so I started training at the gym in the basement at work instead. One day, while I was there, he locked the doors and turned the lights off. There were no windows, no cellphone reception and hardly anyone walking by in that part of the building… I sat there in the pitch dark for 3 hours before I was let back out. I still get badly triggered by narrow, dark rooms and rooms with no windows. To such an extent, I jumped out of a small window on the second floor of a gym when I was in boot camp. I was allowed to train downstairs in the bigger gym with windows on all walls after that incident…

The harassment at work went on for years until I finally snapped, ended up at the hospital and got into therapy for the first time. I don't want to go into depth about what more happened, I just can't… I can't bring myself to write it all. Luckily, I had gotten more education while working, so when I graduated, another company called and gave me an offer I just couldn't refuse. So, I quit my job and never looked back, even if the traumas I suffered there still haunts me to this day.

Sadly, even after switching jobs, now getting a safe job with sane leaders… I started to relax, and that's when all my past trauma came washing over me. And one day, on while driving to work, I had my first serious panic attack. It started as this feeling I used to have at the old company; getting sick to my stomach and having the sense of someone being out to get me… then it developed to breathing problems… and I had to pull the car over. I broke into tears, struggling to breathe, stumbling out of the car to read the logo on its side just to reassure my body and brain that I worked for a different company now and there was no reason for panic. I called my boss and let him know, because he also was a "refugee" from that other company, so he knew what me and several others had gone through. He managed to talk me down enough for me to come to the office to talk to him. That helped.

I got back into therapy. A better therapist this time. But sadly, it got apparent that I could no longer work as an electrician as there was too many triggers. I was diagnosed with PTSD, severe depression, and social anxiety. I'm still working on these and get better slowly.

I have been in therapy for a long time now, and it was my therapist that suggested I wrote fics to cope and "write it out". I tried to make up my own characters for this, but never felt any connection. I was by this time in the TTTE fandom and had met people with similar trauma and pasts like myself, and I started roleplaying with some of them. Me and a girl from UK then agreed to try to rp/co-write a fic to cope with our trauma. We both found it easier to write about pre-established characters we had a connection to, even if it was an au that made it barely recognizable from the original source material. Only the names and some minor things were similar.

That fic was Stepney's Virginity Gets Lost.

Do we regret writing it? No. It helped us write out our traumas and helped us overcome some mental obstacles in out therapy process. Our therapists cheering us on, because we finally managed to break through the hard shell surrounding us. We both cried for the first time in years while writing it, some of it through roleplay, because some parts were extremely graphic and brutal and very mentally exhausting. We had to take long breaks between each writing session, so the fic wasn't written in just a weekend. But we got a lot of darkness out of our minds by writing all this. And we were definitely NOT aroused by it, like this pervert here claims.

It's when you dare to touch and feel the difficult and dark emotions, you can finally move along in the grieving process.

Should it have been posted online?

In retrospect, no. But at the time, we thought it might help other trauma victims, as we also found reading about other people's experiences and fictions touching painful subjects helpful to ourselves. So, we posted it, never expecting it to cause such a controversy 3 years later. In fact, we had more or less forgotten about it until it came back to bit us in the ass. Or rather, bite ME in the ass, as I am getting the full blame alone.

Also, despite what people claim, it was not posted openly for children to read. It was tagged properly and hidden behind mature content walls. If a minor chooses to break that wall, that's not the author's fault. It's the same as watching a movie with an age restriction way above your age, not the filmmaker's fault.

I think MerciResolution puts it nicely here:

"If your problem lies with you KNOWINGLY entering adult spaces when you’re a minor, ignoring all mature warnings that are literally SCREAMING at you “hey, this is what you’re getting into. Are you sure you want to proceed?”

That’s ENTIRELY on you. YOU are the fucking problem.

We’re marking mature things as best as we properly can. If you decide to ignore them, that’s your own damn fault. We’re not your fucking babysitters."

Also, I never posted the story on Wattpad, so if anyone has done that, it's not me. I posted the story on Fanfiction.net, DeviantArt and AO3, that's all. If it's posted anywhere else, it's not done by me.

I had honestly moved on from it when people pulled me back into it.

Other people who have done questionable shit in that fandom are easily forgiven because "they have moved on" or "changed". Yet, nobody believes I can move on or change…?

I had moved on; my interests had changed. But people won't let me, so here I am… Having to defend some crap I did years ago. A fic I no longer have any interest in.

I'm not even interested in TTTE anymore. I have moved on with my own book project now and I would like to focus on that.

So, deleting my TTTE content, whether it was the SFW or NSFW stuff, didn't cost me a penny. It actually felt like a relief. The only downside with it is that people now can't read it and make up their own opinion about it, but will solely believe in what others say, and those things are often seriously bent out of shape and blown out of proportions to such an extent it's barely recognizable.

If people claim that Arry and Bert rape Stepney in the fic, they have never seen it or read it. That's not what happens. That's just an assumption made by looking at the title and knowing there is a rape/torture scene in it. But I'm not gonna tell who the victim is or who performed it, because this is the only way I am able to tell who has actually read the fic or not, who is just trying to spread bullshit and who is actually telling the truth. The person in that screenshot, has no idea what he's talking about.

Does SVGL romanticize rape and abuse?

No, not in the least. It's described as the horrible, heinous acts it is and is in no way meant to be cute or romantic and definitely NOT something anyone should get off to. If anyone finds it sexy, that's their problem, not the authors'. If anything, SVGL might romanticize suicide, because one of the characters isn't able to cope with his trauma and chooses to end their life. Which is something I considered doing myself when I was in the darkest pit of depression. So, I apologize for maybe romanticizing suicide. The following chapters describe how friends and family handle the loss and grief.

It also describes a toxic relationship, where one of the parts struggles to get out of it. They eventually manage to break free, but it is not easy. This can easily be translated to my previously mentioned relationship, as it was my way of writing out my experience about how hard it is to break out of a relation when your partner has broken you down to the point where you no longer believe in yourself and your self-worth.

The last chapters start to gradually become brighter, as both our lives started getting better too. But we never really wrote the end because we both lost interest in writing TTTE content by that time and just left it hanging.

I'm not the only one who has written NSFW TTTE fanfics out there. But it seems like violence and murder is more acceptable than sexual things? I do wonder how brutally mutilating children's show characters are more tolerable than sexually abusing them. Neither should be okay.

Some content creators hide behind "it was a joke". I have been told that such topics that SVGL touches upon shouldn't be joked about… so I didn't do that, and yet it was wrong? So how should such topics be treated? Be hidden like it's a shame, like in the old days when rape victims were told to suck things up and keep it to themselves? When those subject to abuse didn't dare to speak up because people would judge them?

I think it is important to talk about these subjects and why they are so problematic. Victims shouldn't have to hide their trauma; they should be allowed to talk openly about it without fearing judgement.

Some of you claim that writing isn't a good way to cope… You're trying to dictate how trauma victims deal with their trauma, and that's a dangerous path to walk down. Nobody handles trauma the same way. You might have your thoughts on how you would react, but you'll never know until trauma hits you… and you might not react the way you had expected or planned. Trauma messes with your head and you won't be able to think clearly. It makes you do thinks you normally wouldn't have done and can make you act out of character. So, do not judge people without having been in the same situation yourself. Ever.

Someone wrote that I have "more problems that just a rape".

Read that again.

Just a rape.

This person does not know how damaging a rape can be. And if you made it this far in this post, you know I didn't only go through one, but several. Not just by my ex, but also being ambushed while I was walking home from a party, and later; a co-worker forcing himself onto me at a building site. I can't go into depth about them all, I just can't.

Just a rape…

"Just" the feeling of not being in control of your own body and your own decisions. "Just" being robbed off your dignity and self-worth. "Just" having someone intrude into your private zone, tear your clothes off and claim your body against your will. "Just" feeling how your life force leave you as you realize that fighting against it won't help you, and you silently give up and just lay down waiting for it all to be over. "Just" spending hours in the shower, scrubbing your skin until you bleed because you can't wash the filth away and you keep feeling dirty no matter how much you clean yourself. "Just" waking up at night, after having relived the scene again in a nightmare. "Just" looking over your shoulder wherever you walk because you heard something or thought you saw something or simply because someone is walking behind you. "Just" the fact that you'll never feel comfortable walking alone at night again or have someone walk behind you. "Just" never being able to relax because your body constantly think you're in grave danger. "Just" a rape…

That's such a neck-beard thing to say. Someone who clearly think of other people's bodies as property or things. Not taking into consideration that we are living, breathing individuals with feelings. And that having another person violate us isn't something we like or that we'll easily get over. We want to choose who we give ourselves to, nobody should be forced. We didn't ask to be raped. We didn't want it. We didn't like it.

Rape is trauma.

Yes, we should have chosen other characters for the story, but we did what we did, and it cannot be undone now. So, if the only thing I will be remembered for in the fandom is that ONE fic, instead of all my other content, that's what it will be. That's what people chose to. I'm moving on.

10. Being a nazi for being interested in WW2 history and for being Norwegian and having so-called nazi-letters in my last name (actual letters of the Norwegian alphabet).

*sigh*

This is something that could only happen in America, isn't it?

Some people don't bother educating themselves. The "nazi-letters" you guys are talking about is actually part of the Norwegian alphabet and has nothing to do with Nazism or white-supremacy to do at all. The Norwegian alphabet has 29 letters, the three extra is æ,ø,å or in capital letters: Æ,Ø,Å.

We can't help it if some morons over in the US abuse these letters as symbol of their twisted mindset.

Yes, my name contains one of those letters. It is my name… and I didn't choose it. It is a common Norwegian name.

As for me being a Nazi?

Those who knows me knows that I am as far from a Nazi as one can get. I despise Nazism with all my heart.

But the reason some people choose to believe so… was that some guy who has no hobbies or life went through every single fave I've made on DeviantArt since I joined the site in 2006, which is well over 20000 faves. And he found a few Nazi-characters from a web series I was following about ten years ago. I am very interested in history and especially WW2-history, so I found that particular web-series interesting and faved some artwork related to it. What this guy failed to notice is that I also faved the Allied characters… That's ALL there is to that story.

I has also faved a pic someone made of Joseph Goebbels (I think it was?) as a Pixar Car. That's not because I have any nazi-sympathies, but I simply found the concept of turning historical persons, both good and bad, into Cars as an interesting project. I would have faved any other historical Carsified person as well.

As for me being a Norwegian and have a natural pale complexion, that's not something I can help. That's nothing I choose. And it doesn't make me racist or Nazi. Period.

11. Putting a white-supremacist flag (the actual flag of Norway) on my porch on family birthdays and our national day.

Again. Get educated.

This flag… is the actual flag of my country. The Kingdom of Norway.

There is nothing Nazi about it. It is not a symbol of white-supremacy. IT IS THE FLAG OF NORWAY.

During WW2 it was even illegal, so people would paint it everywhere in a protest against the Nazi-occpation and the SS. We even decorated our Christmas trees with it, and that is a tradition that has followed us into the modern day.

Again, if some idiots in the US choose to use it as a symbol for their disgusting logic, it is not Norway or the Norwegians' fault.

12. Being a danger to my daughter.

I need people to elaborate here.

What exactly do you think I do to my daughter? What is the cause of your concern here?

The fact that I have made NSFW content? How is that harmful to her as long as I keep it away from her? You DO realize that even authors, pornstars and moviemakers have children and that they can be good parents, right?

Do you think I read pornographic content for her as bedtime stories? Or show her porn instead of kids TV? How sick are you guys, really…?

Some people even wanted CPS to take my child away from me… Have a look at these screenshots…

You want a happy, healthy, innocent child to be taken away from a stable, safe home with loving parents just because you don't like the content the mother made? You want her to be placed in foster care, where there is no guarantee that she will have a happy upbringing rather than have her stay with her parents who love her and care for her, for reasons she'll never understand and wasn't even aware of?

"Think of the children!" a lot of you say when it comes to my content. May I ask why this doesn't apply to my daughter?

Why do some of you go as far as to wishing her dead or wanting her to be removed from the home she feels safe and loved in? How is that thinking of the children?

As for the douchebag in that screenshot. You claim that if your mother did something like that you would want nothing to do with her… I have a question: Do you know EVERYTHING your mother do? Does she include you in each aspect of her life? Even her sexual life? No?

How do you know she doesn't do thing you don't approve of when you're not around? She could be a rabid pornmag reader for all you know. But stuff like that is something adults hide from their kids. So, you wouldn't know, unless you go snooping around in her business.

Everyone is entitled to privacy. What I and my husband do when our kid is not around is our business, not hers, and certainly not yours.

Porn and parenting are to be kept separate from each other. Period.

And we do.

There is absolutely no reason to be worried about my daughter. She is a happy, healthy child in a safe, stable home with family that loves her and cares for her. Not just me and my husband, but also grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.

If you want to remove her from that over a stupid fanfic behind a mature content wall, you're the deranged person, not me.

 This is all I have to say about all this and my time in the TTTE fandom. I have left by my own, free will. Yes, I am aware that many people don't want me there. That's fine. I don't want to be there.

I am a bit disappointed in those people who just blindly unfollowed me and unfriended me without any questions asked, just followed the leader. Big users tend to dictate who and what is worth following in that fandom. They will even protect real predators, but I'm not going to open that can of worms now. I'm done with the fandom.

Some of those people, I have been talking to regularly, even supported when they faced hardships in the fandom themselves. But when I got in trouble, they ditched me without a word…

If anything, this whole ordeal showed me who to trust and not, and who were true to their word when it came to how deep our friendship was. True friends at least give you the chance to explain before they drop you. I hold no ill feelings to those who did, at least they asked me before judging.

And those who still stayed with me, are the ones who truly know me and who I really am.

Some of the worst libels posted about me might be reported to the police, but I haven't made up my mind yet. I am not mentally strong at the moment, so I don't know if I have the strength to legally follow it all up. I will ask the cops at work for advice on the matter.

All I ask for now is some peace.

You don't have to like me. You don't have to follow me. You don't have to like my content. Feel free to invalidate me, I know a lot of you will.

But please, stop bullying me and my family.

Please stop sending me horrid messages and death threats.

Please stop doxxing me and calling me.

Please leave my family alone. If you don't care about me, at least care about them.

Please just ignore me. I have already left the fandom, there is no reason to keep hunting me.

I just want to move on and go on with my life and the content I am currently working on. After years in therapy, my life has gotten better, and I want to move on.

Please let me.

[haosvteen]

Shy | wen junhui

a/n: this truly transported me back to going to frat parties oh goodness. i hope you enjoy this!! it was fun to write, i need this junnie in my life tbh :) let me know your thoughts, if you’d like!! <3

college!fratboy!jun x reader

~ - fluff

word count: 2.9k

masterlist

tw: brief mentions of alcohol / instance of wrist grabbed

“Hey, Jun, I submitted our presentation,” you chime as you pass by the group of boys turned every which way in their desks, chatting loudly before class starts. The tall boy turns his body around in his seat to face you, a blush creeping up on his cheeks as he raises his hand slightly to offer a wave of thanks. His frat bros around him start the typical banter of “Ooooo, Junnieeee”.

Rolling your eyes, you stop and turn around, a sharp rebuttal on the tip of your tongue. Opening your mouth to come back to the boys with some witty remark that would hopefully sting them, your brain takes over your actions and you’re reminded how useless it would be to even entertain their jokes. You settle on another slight eye roll. Before you whip back around to make your way to your seat, Jun catches your eye and a clearly apologetic look is plastered onto his face.

Sliding into your seat towards the back of the class, you wonder why Jun hangs out with those boys? Why did he even join the fraternity in the first place? You’ve known Jun since the first semester of freshman year of university from being placed in the same orientation group and when you found out he joined a fraternity, you were honestly a little shocked. Shy Jun from orientation? In one of the frats known for the craziest parties? It didn’t sound like the Jun you met and have come to know over the years. The memory of your first meeting plays so clearly in your mind, as if it happened yesterday:

“Hey, do you know where we’re supposed to meet?” you ask, jogging up to the tall boy looking around campus just as you. Stopping in front of him, you greet him with a smile and you’re met with the tall boy’s wide eyes and stuttering mouth.

“I just noticed we have the same color tag,” you explain, picking up your lanyard to emphasize your point. “It said the south quad? I’m thinking it’s maybe down that way by the dining hall? I’m not sure.”

Looking up at him, raising your hand to block the sun from your eyes, you see him struggling to find the words, “I uh, yeah I um...I think it’s that way too.”

“Okay, cool,” you enthusiastically respond, heading down the pathway to where you had pointed. Realizing the boy was not next to you, you turn around, “You coming?”

“Yeah! Yeah,” he says as he slightly jogs to catch up with you. 

“I’m Y/N by the way,” you tell him once he is by your side.

“Jun,” he replies. 

From your walk to the south quad and freshman orientation, you could tell that Jun wasn’t much of a talker. He kept to himself. Even after orientation was over, you still saw him often due to having the same major and almost identical class schedules, but you never really spoke. You’d offer a smile whenever you saw him and he always returned it, however there wasn’t really much speaking. You don’t even know if you’ve had a proper conversation with him. When you’ve been paired for group projects, you mainly communicate through email. He’s shy, that’s okay.

Ripped from your reminiscent thoughts by your phone vibrating in your hand, you look down to see what the notification was.

are you ready for tonight?? i heard tchi is having a ceos and office hoes party👀

Sighing, you take a moment to think about the text your roommate just sent. You have a huge essay due in a few days that you’ve barely even started on...you really should work on that tonight instead of going to this frat party. But it’s a TChi party...and that’s the frat Jun is in...you’ll just wake up extra early the next couple of days to make up for the lost time.

i’m in, let’s goooo

Time could not pass any slower as you waited for the professor to wrap up class. “Now this marketing strategy is useful when blah blah blah”, you were just ready to head back to your apartment and plan your outfit for the party tonight. You’d never admit it, not even to yourself...but maybe you wanted to look good because Jun would be there? Is that that reason you’re so excited? No, you’re excited to go out and have a good time with your roommate...right?

Finally, after an agonizingly long hour and fifteen minutes, class is over and you can go home. You quickly gather your belongings, stuffing them into your backpack and walking towards the door. As you pass Jun and his fraternity brothers, you hear a voice call out, “Hey, Y/N, will I be seeing you at the party tonight?”

Turning around, to identify who was speaking to you, there are six pairs of eyes glued on you. Assuming the boy with the cocky grin on his face is the culprit, you narrow your eyes and retort, “Wouldn’t you like to know” and continue to walk out of the classroom. You weren’t 100% sure, but you think you saw Jun stifle a laugh as you exited.

You and your roommate decide to go check the local thrift stores for some button up shirts to complete your “office hoes” look for the part (how anyone comes up with these ideas is beyond you) and grab a light bite to eat. The rest of the evening is spent perfecting your outfits, listening to bad music on the Spotify frat party playlists, and pregaming with shots on shots on shots.

By the time it’s 10:00pm and the DD arrived, you’re already a little tipsy.  You and your roommate are a giggling mess as you hurry out to the DD’s car, swinging open the door and plopping in. The short ride consists of the young DD trying to flirt with you both (awfully, might I add) and your roommate going along with his attempts just for the fun of it. Before you know it, he stops the car in the middle of the narrow street and you two shout your thanks as you slide out of the car, preparing yourself for whatever scene you were about to meet when you walked into the house.

Passing a few groups of people who already had friends who are blacked out and vomiting in the yard, you make your way to the backdoor to enter the house booming with music. Twisting the doorknob, you are met with a gust of hot air and the strong smell of a concoction of various alcohols & kool aid packets. Your roommate grabs hold of your hand and begins the trek through the large crowd in the kitchen, making a pit stop at the island to grab a cup of whatever the strong drink was that everyone had. 

The entire time you’re walking through, you can’t help but search the room for Jun. Why? You’re not sure. As you continue your way through the intoxicated bodies to the stairs leading down to the basement where the music was coming from, your eyes meet with the same boy from class earlier with the cocky grin. You groan and bring the cup up to your lips, downing the sour beverage. You try your best to ignore him as you pass, however, he places a hand on your waist and says, “I’ll find you later, okay?”. 

Looking at him with the most disgusted look you can muster, you shove his hand off of you and follow your roommate down the staircase and into the basement where you’re greeted by the image of numerous frat boys grinding with scantily clad girls. Aaand this is why you typically like to stay in. Was the reason you came out tonight to see Jun? No...absolutely not...deny till you die, baby.

Your roommate grabs your other hand, dragging you out to the middle of the dance floor and you begin to move with the music. You don’t even know how long you were dancing for when you noticed your cup was empty. “Hey! I’m gonna go get another cup!” you shout over the music to your roommate.

“Okay! I’m gonna go over there and talk to some of my friends from class!”, they yell back to you, motioning over to a group of people talking in the corner. You nod and part ways. Making your way out of the sea of bodies dancing, you trip over someone’s stray leg and feel an arm on your waist catch you. Looking up, unfortunately, it’s cocky grin guy from class. You don’t even know his name, that’s how little you’re interested in him. 

Rolling your eyes for what felt like the millionth time today (at this point you were sure they would get stuck in the back of our head), you try to push him off of you. “Hey now, I told you I was going to find you later, didn’t I?” he says, the pungent smell of beer rolling out of his mouth and into your face.

“Ugh, gosh, get away from me,” you say, finally pushing him hard enough that he stumbles backward a little bit, allowing you time to start walking away from him. As you reach out for the railing of the staircase, you feel a strong grip on your wrist. Turning around, there is again. What does this guy not get? Can he not leave you alone? What is his deal?

“What are you walking away from me for, huh?” he slurs out, clearly extremely drunk. 

“I’m not interested,” you sternly respond, attempting to tug your wrist out of his hand. His grip tightens and your heartbeat starts to quicken, your tipsy mind becoming clearer due to the danger you felt. He continues inching closer towards you, his nasty breath growing closer and closer to your face.

“Dude, she said she’s not interested,” a voice says as a tall body stands next to you and easily removes the boy’s hand from you. You retract your wrist into your chest, rubbing at the bruise that will inevitably be there tomorrow.

“What do you care? Is she your girlfriend or something?” the drunken frat boy responds, clearly trying to pick a fight.

“It doesn’t matter if she has a boyfriend or not. You don’t just grab girls like that whenever you please,” finally you look up to see Jun glaring down at the much shorter boy. “You shouldn’t back off just because a girl has a boyfriend. You should back off because she said no. Now, get a DD to take you home. You’re way too drunk to be here.”

The drunken boy shrugs past Jun and stomps up the stairs, clearly angry. You watch him stumble past people coming down into the basement as Jun gently touches your wrist. All of your attention is immediate back on him.

“Come on, let’s go up and get you some ice,” he says, giving you a soft smile and placing his hand on your shoulder and arm to help guide you up the stairs. Once in the kitchen, he opens the freezer and wraps some cubes of ice into a random kitchen towel he found in a tucked away drawer. 

“Do you want to go to my room? It’s upstairs, so it’ll be quieter and you’ll be able to take a minute,” he offered, motioning over to where you presume the stairs are. You nod and his hands resume their places on your shoulder and arm, continuing your journey through the sweaty crowd of people. He moves the large piece of wood that covers the staircase so no random party goers can go up to the bedrooms, then you really get to see how nice the house was. You never would have expected this from a frat house, but it was actually well kept. 

Jun leads you to the second to last door on the right, twisting the doorknob, and opening the door for you. You can’t help but notice the stuffed animal laying on his bed of a cat as you try to subdue your smile. Of course Jun is the type to have a cat stuffed animal, you wouldn’t expect anything less.

You sit on the edge of his well made bed as he closes the door and comes down to sit next to you. He tenderly lifts your wrist from your lap and places the ice onto it. 

“Sorry about him,” he says, breaking the silence.

“It’s okay,” you respond, not sure what to say. You honestly were just in shock because this was not the quiet boy you were used to. He responds with a short, breathy laugh and a grin, the previous silence returning.

“I think this is the most I’ve ever heard you talk,” you comment, looking from your wrist up to him. You could swear you saw his cheeks start to become red.

“Maybe it’s because I’m a little tipsy,” he says with a smile, resituating the ice pack on your wrist. 

“I like hearing your voice...you should be tipsy more often,” you reply before you even have a chance to think about it. Maybe you’re tipsy, as well.

The silence returns for a moment before Jun begins, “You know the reason I never really talk around you is because I have a crush on you?”

Your heart drops as you search his face for any sort of emotion, but you couldn’t tell. He just kept holding your hand and situating the ice pack.

“It makes me feel like a dumb kid again, but...that first day we met, the reason I stuttered and stammered and made a fool out of myself is because...I don’t know I’d just never seen anyone like you before. Someone who’s willing to walk right up to a stranger and immediately try to become their friend. I’d never met anyone so genuinely kind like you,” he continues.

Your mind was blank. You had no clue what to say. All this time? Jun had...liked you? Had a crush on you? Has a crush on you?? All this time while you’d been wondering why he was so shy...it was because he...likes you?

“Plus you’re insanely beautiful...but that’s besides the point,” he adds on with a smirk. At that, you can’t help but giggle. You never would’ve expected the shy boy you met to be so flirty.

“Why would you be nervous around me, though?? I literally am so un-intimidating,” you respond, not entirely sure what to say.

“Come on, look at you...how could I not be?” he says, looking up at you, your face inches away from each other. Your heart races in your chest and you’re 99% sure you might be about to have a heart attack in this boy’s bedroom right now. Your eyes flick down to his lips as you start to slowly move in closer to him, lips mere centimeters away.

BOOM BOOM BOOM. “Hey, Jun! You in there man?? There’s someone out here looking for a Y/n? I don’t know who that is, but someone said she came up here with you,” a voice shouts from the hallway. Jun closes his eyes and lets his head drop down onto your knee. With a groan of annoyance, he gets up from the bed and swings his door open, revealing the image of a boy with a beer can in hand and your roommate with tears streaming down their cheeks. You immediately shoot up from the bed and make your way to them.

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” you ask, concern fills your voice. After several choked out sobs, they finally tell you that their ex texted them and of course it has become a complete ordeal. As they sob in your arms, you look up and Jun and mouth a “sorry” to him. 

“I’ll get you guys a DD to take you home,” he says as he pulls his phone out of his pocket. After several minutes of your roommate sitting on the floor in Jun's room crying and ranting to the two of you, the DD finally arrives.

Jun follows you both outside, ensuring that you make it to the car safely and helps you get your friend into the vehicle.

“Hey, hold on, give me your phone real quick,” he says and takes your phone from your extended hand. He quickly types something in and gives it back. “There’s my number, text me when you get home safely.”

You can’t help the butterflies that flutter throughout your body. You slide into the car with your friend and Jun closes the door after you. 

He leans down into the open window, “Do you wanna maybe get breakfast tomorrow? I think we may have a lot of talking to do,” he says with a cheeky smile.

You laugh and shake your head as you look up at him, “Sounds like a date.”

One of the widest smiles you’ve ever seen is painted on his face as he pushes off from the car and backs away. As the car drives off, you turn around looking at the back window seeing Jun doing a little celebratory dance in the street. Looks like he isn’t that shy kid you met freshman year anymore.